JustPearlyThings - August 04, 2023


You Won't Believe What This Modern Woman DID


Episode Stats


Length

47 minutes

Words per minute

217.72702

Word count

10,358

Sentence count

884

Harmful content

Misogyny

99

sentences flagged

Hate speech

59

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, I discuss the importance of reporting sexual harassment in the workplace and why women need to do their part to stop it happening. I also discuss the benefits of having a male boss and why modern women prefer to work for a man.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 Coming up next.
00:00:00.920 Even when it's a he said, she said, people have patterns of behavior.
00:00:04.260 Like, honestly, I think it's selfish not to report it.
00:00:06.900 I genuinely think it's selfish.
00:00:08.220 Like, you want them to do that to someone else?
00:00:10.040 If it genuinely happened, like, why would you not report it?
00:00:13.340 Because even if, like, let's say justice isn't served for you,
00:00:17.000 if 10 girls come forward with the same story,
00:00:19.120 eventually they can build a case against the guy.
00:00:21.380 It's happened. I've seen it happen.
00:00:22.800 So it's genuinely selfish if you don't report it.
00:00:24.540 So when you say he said, she said, every time you go to the police
00:00:27.620 and you make an accusation against someone,
00:00:29.280 you report it's always he said, she said, nothing is ever concrete.
00:00:32.300 The reason why you go to the police is so that a case can be pulled against the person.
00:00:35.780 So if I have five girls that say to me, my boss was inappropriate to me, 1.00
00:00:39.620 and I said to you, OK, cool.
00:00:40.720 Or my sister says to me, my boss was inappropriate to you.
00:00:43.000 I say, the first thing you do is go and report it.
00:00:45.060 If five women do not report it, then they say to me,
00:00:47.500 oh, it's because of he said, she said, she said, whose fault is that?
00:00:50.440 But we're not even blaming people.
00:00:51.860 I'm not, no, no, no, I'm not blaming because you said to me.
00:00:53.960 Because you are.
00:00:54.560 Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, listen for a second here.
00:00:59.420 She said to me, apparently I don't understand.
00:01:02.380 But I'm saying I do understand.
00:01:03.800 If someone does something to you, this is, look, let me look to the camera.
00:01:06.660 Ladies, women, if somebody does something to you in your workplace, in your home, 1.00
00:01:11.240 any man is inappropriate.
00:01:12.420 You need to go and report it straight away.
00:01:14.760 You need to.
00:01:15.400 And this is what I'm going to advocate for.
00:01:16.560 Because if you come on a platform and you say, oh, my man did this to me,
00:01:20.260 my boss did this to me, and you tell me, and I say to you, so what did you do about it?
00:01:24.260 You said nothing.
00:01:25.000 I'm sorry.
00:01:25.500 I just can't.
00:01:25.920 I just can't.
00:01:26.420 I just can't take every woman that says that the truth. 1.00
00:01:28.380 I'm sorry.
00:01:28.640 I can't do that.
00:01:29.240 I have something to read to you guys.
00:01:31.460 Okay.
00:01:33.720 Wait, today's topic.
00:01:34.940 I forgot to say the topic.
00:01:36.440 Today's topic is, can modern women be men? 0.91
00:01:39.460 So in the last 25 years, women have made strides in management and leadership positions in the workplace. 0.96
00:01:46.240 As of 2022, women represent 35% of leadership positions in companies in the U.S. and 33% in the U.K.
00:01:55.360 Women also make up 27% of the seats in the current U.S. Congress and 35% of MPs in the U.K. Parliament. 0.98
00:02:05.140 Studies have shown that organizations with a diverse mix of male and female leaders tend to outperform those that don't by 30%.
00:02:12.920 While this may sound like nothing new, but like nothing, while this may sound like nothing but good news, a study from UCLA surveyed 60,000 professionals and found that women, even those who were managers themselves, were more likely to want a male boss than a female one.
00:02:31.040 The participants explained that female bosses are emotional, catty, or bitchy. 0.99
00:02:36.560 Men preferred male bosses too, but by a much smaller margin than female participants did.
00:02:42.100 A much smaller survey by UCLA of law firms, staff, secretaries, paralegals, etc., nearly all of whom were women, resulted in not one saying that she or he would prefer to work for a female law partner.
00:02:57.680 The studies showed that females in the legal profession that reported to a female boss showed more symptoms of distress, including trouble sleeping and headaches, when compared to working for a man. 0.90
00:03:09.220 Gallup completed a survey that gave a holistic view of this phenomenon.
00:03:13.980 The study found that almost 40% of women preferred male leadership as compared to 26% of men.
00:03:21.840 When asked, would you prefer to work for a female or a male boss, the responses of those that preferred male leadership can be summed up as followed.
00:03:33.520 Male bosses are more receptive towards new ideas and allowed execution with minimal interference.
00:03:40.280 They're a lot nicer and less emotional.
00:03:42.880 They have less drama and are less jealous of their better looking counterparts.
00:03:46.860 They recognize and applaud commitment and dedication and are more direct to deal with and willing to wade into disagreements amongst subordinates.
00:03:56.500 Also, statistics from the Workplace Bullying Institute have shown that 80% of the time, women bully other women while at work.
00:04:06.980 If more women prefer male leadership, how is there a patriarchy of the modern workplace? 1.00
00:04:12.900 Is it time to recognize the toxic matriarchy? 1.00
00:04:17.780 Thoughts?
00:04:18.560 Question for the woman. 0.91
00:04:19.640 What has your overall experience been with female leadership compared to male leadership in your industry? 0.72
00:04:27.980 So, starting here and then go around.
00:04:31.980 If you've never had both genders as bosses, you can say that too. 1.00
00:04:36.800 Well, I've experienced both male and female management. 0.91
00:04:40.380 But I'll say I've experienced one female management due to male. 0.98
00:04:43.180 Female, I would say they're more direct. 1.00
00:04:47.740 I feel like sometimes male management or stuff, they just tend to have like a more standoffish approach, whereas females are more straightforward. 0.70
00:04:56.380 Maybe they're more like engaging.
00:04:58.840 I would say it was okay.
00:05:00.080 It was good.
00:05:00.620 It was a good experience.
00:05:01.620 But there can be a bit of like that woman to woman kind of macho-ness, like kind of how men have that alpha kind of situation going on.
00:05:09.480 I feel like that can occur at times, and obviously being a female, you know, we're very like intuitive at times.
00:05:14.800 We're like, is she trying to, you know, play games?
00:05:17.880 She's trying to play games, playing my mental.
00:05:19.900 But, you know, yeah, nothing too intense, like very mediocre.
00:05:23.660 Okay.
00:05:24.040 What about you, Teal?
00:05:26.220 I've had both.
00:05:27.180 I've had a woman manager once, and I prefer having a male manager just because they're less emotional. 0.99
00:05:35.060 I feel like in terms of leadership, I trust men more, and I prefer a man to lead.
00:05:43.800 And a lot of older women, not all, but a lot are a bit jealous of younger women, especially if they look nice or if they have a lot of talent. 0.69
00:05:52.560 And sometimes it makes them wish that they were young again.
00:05:55.460 So, yeah, I just prefer, I prefer men, like I trust male leadership.
00:06:06.700 So I'm really lucky.
00:06:07.920 I've only had one female boss, and she was actually a very good friend of mine as well, and we worked wonderfully together.
00:06:14.080 I'm 40, and she's, I think, 12 years older than me, and I think if you have a good working, understanding relationship with the woman that you're working with, it can be a really wonderful thing.
00:06:27.340 I've worked for many, many males, the majority of whom have been inappropriate, I guess, at some point.
00:06:35.380 Like, not physically, but just more, like, sly comments and things.
00:06:41.140 Like flirty?
00:06:41.840 Flirty and, you know, suggestive, you know, maybe provocative.
00:06:46.580 And inappropriate.
00:06:47.060 Did you ever feel like you got, like, better, like you moved up faster because they were flirting with you?
00:06:52.980 Yeah, I did.
00:06:53.680 And, and actually there was one job that I worked at in the retail industry where we had a male manager and then all of the other employees were attractive women, all of them.
00:07:05.960 And it was very obvious and everybody knew it.
00:07:10.640 All the other retail stores around us, you know, they knew that all of the girls that work there were particularly good looking and that there would always be like a new flow of good looking women. 1.00
00:07:19.920 But overall, I think when you're a confident woman, then you can work with other confident women.
00:07:27.440 And when you are a confident woman, you can take leadership from a man.
00:07:32.960 Okay.
00:07:33.620 What about you?
00:07:35.240 I would say for me personally, the difference is between competence and incompetence.
00:07:41.300 So if you're a competent leader, you're competent.
00:07:43.260 And then the differentiating factor between a man and a woman is if you're disappointed by a rubbish woman boss. 1.00
00:07:49.920 It's because they've been unkind to you or been overly critical or been overly judgmental.
00:07:56.640 And then if you have a male boss that's incompetent, it's because he made a pass at you or he made you feel smaller than you should have felt.
00:08:03.640 Or he belittled you in front of people when actually he was the one that was wrong.
00:08:08.340 So I think the differentiation comes between their levels of incompetence.
00:08:12.780 But competence is competence, irrespective of your male or female.
00:08:16.000 Okay, what do you think?
00:08:18.560 I think it's 50-50.
00:08:20.160 I think I've had good and bad.
00:08:22.820 Like with a male manager that I had, he was all about looks.
00:08:27.560 And then my previous manager, who was a female, she was just very laid back. 0.68
00:08:34.000 So yeah, I think it's 50-50.
00:08:35.900 Was you asking the girls or just the...
00:08:39.000 Oh, um...
00:08:40.060 Do you want to do girls first? 1.00
00:08:40.700 Yeah, we'll do girls first. 0.99
00:08:41.680 Go ahead.
00:08:43.960 I agree with like what you were saying about competence.
00:08:47.320 So if you have experience, if you care about the work that you do, whether you're male or female,
00:08:53.520 you will like brush up on your leadership skills.
00:08:57.640 Women lead the home. 1.00
00:09:00.040 So, I mean, I'm a bit old school.
00:09:03.280 So I believe that like technically, if push comes to shove, a man should lead the home.
00:09:10.140 But in terms of the running of the home, the organization, the family, the, you know, like multitasking, everything else,
00:09:18.420 how things look, organizing the finances, thinking about investments, like women lead. 0.98
00:09:24.840 Um, and I've had an amazing female lead and I've had a...
00:09:29.880 Am I allowed to swear?
00:09:30.980 Yeah, you can swear.
00:09:31.520 I've had like a really shit female boss who was a bitch. 1.00
00:09:35.460 Like, yeah, she was horrible.
00:09:37.820 Um, and I was really young and yeah, she, yeah.
00:09:42.300 But I've, so I've had both.
00:09:44.000 Um, but men I've like, and I've had, it's same.
00:09:47.280 I've had really good men bosses, um, or like colleagues.
00:09:52.220 And then, but men in leadership, I trust women more, like competent women.
00:09:58.840 Like there's, um, something really special when like strong women come together and work together. 0.64
00:10:05.080 It's like sisterhood and it's rare.
00:10:08.260 I was going to say, I don't.
00:10:09.920 It exists.
00:10:10.980 It's not, it's not a unicorn.
00:10:13.100 It's not a unicorn.
00:10:13.920 You ever see sorority houses versus frat houses?
00:10:16.580 The frat houses, they're like best friends for life.
00:10:18.940 No, no, no, you're right.
00:10:20.420 Like you're right.
00:10:21.020 Men as groups, like bond better. 0.81
00:10:23.440 Like they're bros more.
00:10:24.540 Like they are like, they play sports together.
00:10:26.660 So they do more things as a group.
00:10:29.320 Um, but when you like get a good mix, like, I don't know how to explain it.
00:10:34.700 I think that's to do with the competency.
00:10:36.060 Like if you are a healthy person and you find another healthy person, there will be healthy
00:10:41.140 things happening.
00:10:42.000 Um, so, you know, you're getting old, but if you're dealing with your trauma with getting
00:10:47.840 old and like the way that that makes you feel and you're faced with a beautiful young
00:10:51.780 woman, you are not going to take out those feelings on her.
00:10:55.160 I don't know.
00:10:56.140 It exists.
00:10:56.900 There are nice people out there, but it's rare.
00:10:59.700 I think it's common though.
00:11:00.780 I think older women bully younger women a lot. 1.00
00:11:03.200 No, I hear you.
00:11:04.000 I hear you.
00:11:04.640 It's like, like mother vibe, like a mother daughter relationship.
00:11:07.020 Well, it's almost like, it's only, I've noticed it's usually, I'm not saying all, but it's
00:11:11.600 only if they're still single.
00:11:13.260 Like if they're married, they're like happily married.
00:11:15.100 They got a man, but it's like when they're competing with you.
00:11:18.220 Yeah.
00:11:18.660 That's, that's what I found.
00:11:19.780 I hear you.
00:11:20.720 I hear you.
00:11:21.260 And that's the dynamic between like older women and younger women, but there's also 1.00
00:11:25.960 a dynamic between older men and men in general and women.
00:11:29.280 And if men see you as a sexual object rather than a work colleague, it happens.
00:11:36.780 Like I've been a teenager, like groped at work by my boss.
00:11:40.620 Like, did you report it?
00:11:41.900 I didn't report it.
00:11:43.120 Like I, when these things happen, grapes, okay, maybe not grapes, but like when, like
00:11:48.400 you don't know how to, like, especially being a teenager, like I'm going to college.
00:11:53.520 I live alone and you know, I'm going through things in my life and I've been through things
00:11:58.720 in my life and it, it, you internalize it, if that makes sense.
00:12:01.660 Like you feel like you've done something wrong or you're to blame.
00:12:03.960 Like, I'm feisty.
00:12:05.420 So like, I put it on him and I like showed him it's not that bad, but like, what do
00:12:09.020 you mean you put it?
00:12:09.920 I put it on him, like, bro, like, it's not that kind of party.
00:12:12.460 Like I'm from South London.
00:12:13.660 Like, you're old.
00:12:15.160 Yeah, I was confused.
00:12:16.100 And the US put it on him means something wrong.
00:12:18.220 No, like, I didn't like straddle him in the cafe, but like, I just showed him like, that's
00:12:23.560 not cool.
00:12:24.020 But yeah, like when there's such a difference between age and like experience and just in
00:12:30.240 general, like, even if there's not that difference between age and experience, like men think
00:12:34.440 that they can be inappropriate and that's okay.
00:12:37.980 You know, some men, some men, most men, because if you look at, you can't say most you, because
00:12:46.440 you've got to look at a woman's experience and you've got to look at, they do research. 1.00
00:12:51.200 Like if I've spoken to a hundred men in my life and 89.9, you think have moved in this
00:12:57.360 type of way.
00:12:59.280 90% of men.
00:13:00.540 89.9.
00:13:01.420 Okay.
00:13:01.760 You think 89.9.
00:13:03.940 Have moved mad.
00:13:05.720 No, that's not my experience.
00:13:07.400 Like, I just wouldn't, I mean, when I was, when I was young, I had a coach hit on me, but
00:13:11.700 I wouldn't generalize all men with that.
00:13:14.460 89.9.
00:13:15.280 No, not even close.
00:13:16.540 I would say like, I would say most men are good men.
00:13:19.040 Like, do you know what you're saying?
00:13:19.860 Do you have any brothers?
00:13:21.240 I have two brothers, one, which is AWOL and the other, which is Dutty, but kind of good.
00:13:27.000 So, so if you put your brothers in the room with us, that's four men.
00:13:29.860 And then you put, wait, Kobe said that's five.
00:13:32.840 You put, oh, Blessing said that's six.
00:13:34.900 Amiri just left, that was seven.
00:13:36.080 If you put another three, you're going to say out of those 10 men, eight of us are inappropriate
00:13:39.820 and removed.
00:13:40.160 But you're, you're picking like my brothers.
00:13:42.520 No, I'm picking.
00:13:43.240 Yeah, I'm saying to you.
00:13:43.860 No, I'm not.
00:13:44.200 And you're assuming that my brothers like are cool.
00:13:47.480 No, I'm just picking, I'm just picking 10 men.
00:13:49.940 Okay.
00:13:50.080 And you said 89.9.
00:13:51.380 So let's say, so let's say out of 10 men.
00:13:53.920 Yeah.
00:13:54.100 Nine of them are men that commit SA and don't know how to treat women.
00:13:58.360 Is that what you're saying?
00:13:58.980 So I'm not saying that they commit SA.
00:14:01.660 I never said they'll commit SA.
00:14:03.040 I'm saying inappropriate.
00:14:04.620 So, okay.
00:14:05.200 So the same way that we said that older women may like try and put that on a woman and bring 1.00
00:14:11.660 out like their issues that they have about getting older and a young woman being threatening
00:14:15.960 to them.
00:14:16.440 Yeah.
00:14:16.580 That's one dynamic between an older woman and a younger woman. 1.00
00:14:20.840 An older or a similar age man and a woman from my experience.
00:14:25.400 So I'm not saying in life in general, this is for everybody.
00:14:28.080 But from my experience, over 50%, closer towards 89.9% have been inappropriate.
00:14:34.320 Can you define, can you define an appropriate?
00:14:37.040 So like passes, like, like what's passes?
00:14:41.080 Yeah.
00:14:41.580 So you just mean like moving a little bit mad.
00:14:43.700 Like looking at your blouse, like, or like, do you know what I mean?
00:14:46.780 Like, like, I can give a good example.
00:14:48.220 Why?
00:14:48.640 Yes, please.
00:14:49.580 Thank you.
00:14:50.120 I was at work.
00:14:51.540 Sorry.
00:14:51.760 I could give a good example.
00:14:53.360 I forgot my mic was so far away.
00:14:54.600 Um, I was at work, um, one day and I was like going through my shift.
00:14:59.280 My job is one of those jobs where you get there.
00:15:01.220 I don't really wear my uniform to work because I don't like to commute in my uniform.
00:15:04.860 So I'll change when I get there, whatever not.
00:15:06.360 So I've gone on the shop floor and I'm just getting on with my job.
00:15:09.000 I've got probably 11 hour shift, just going through it, going through, going through it.
00:15:12.600 And one of the like new kind of old ish, like, you know, when someone goes to the job
00:15:15.840 and they come back, we had like someone that had come back to the shop and they was like
00:15:19.480 on the pass, whatever not doing their job.
00:15:21.360 And I'm just like, you know, on the shop floor, getting on with everything.
00:15:24.160 I'm seeing them gesture at me, like kind of like glaring towards me.
00:15:26.680 And I'm thinking, um, this is, uh, like say for instance, a runner, like I work in hospitality.
00:15:31.780 So, so like say for them, like head waitress, that's my position, senior waitress on the
00:15:35.800 shop floor and I'm just doing my day to day, like, you know, diligence and, um, they was
00:15:40.240 doing their job, but it's like, they was glaring at me at a point.
00:15:43.000 So I was thinking, um, how can I help?
00:15:45.320 But I'm kind of like not saying nothing.
00:15:46.800 I'm kind of looking at them, like,
00:15:48.160 And it's, it's two guys.
00:15:49.400 No, it's one guy at this point, so one guy, this is just somebody that's not necessarily on
00:15:53.160 a higher hierarchy in the, um, establishment, but it doesn't make a difference.
00:15:56.780 Like men, male, whatever.
00:15:58.620 So, um, yeah, he's glaring at me and I'm looking back, like, how can I help?
00:16:02.220 And he's kind of like looked down.
00:16:03.560 Cause obviously being a female, you'll be conscious of when a male's looking at you. 1.00
00:16:06.840 This is what I thought, um, Stephanie's trying to explain, like, you know, when someone's
00:16:10.140 kind of giving you kind of like, not uncomfortableness, but I'm not sure what
00:16:13.320 you're trying to say, but you're not saying nothing.
00:16:15.180 So you're leaving it out in the open.
00:16:16.640 And so I've had to try and interpretate what he's looking at.
00:16:19.400 So I've looked down and my flies are undone.
00:16:22.040 When was you going to say something?
00:16:23.860 Cause you've been looking at my front for a very long time.
00:16:26.940 He's my boy.
00:16:27.680 You've been looking at my crotch.
00:16:28.880 And when I made like the, you know, the announcement of like, oh, like, was you not going to say anything?
00:16:32.700 He was like, I liked it.
00:16:33.600 Like, what, what does that mean?
00:16:35.520 He was hit on you.
00:16:36.700 But that's the point.
00:16:38.040 Like, why?
00:16:38.740 Why is that something that, you know, it's weird.
00:16:41.500 It's just weird.
00:16:41.980 And guys tend to do things like in their mind, it seems lighthearted, but it's very serious.
00:16:45.800 Yeah.
00:16:46.200 No, no, no.
00:16:47.300 I flirted with a guy at work before.
00:16:48.740 I was doing like a six hour shift with my flies undone.
00:16:52.520 Yeah, but the thing is.
00:16:53.480 And he didn't say anything.
00:16:54.340 He was just glaring at it.
00:16:55.040 So the thing is, you have to be clear.
00:16:56.740 You have to be very, very clear in what you're saying.
00:16:59.040 So you're explaining for her, but you can't explain for her situation.
00:17:03.260 So you're giving me yours, right?
00:17:04.360 But what I take from this, what I take from this as a man is.
00:17:06.940 Which a man's been inappropriate.
00:17:08.140 That's what we're talking about.
00:17:08.900 But when you start talking about 89 point, do you know what you're saying?
00:17:14.300 You're saying when you walk down the street, 90% of men are going to do a madness or going
00:17:19.020 to treat you inappropriately.
00:17:20.480 So then you can't then retract that to 50%.
00:17:22.860 That could be more likely, 50%.
00:17:24.780 You know, a guy could maybe be like this or not be like that.
00:17:27.500 As a man, when we listen to women talk like this, we have to listen to what you're saying. 1.00
00:17:31.560 And unless a man has actually done something that you can concrete say he did this, I reported
00:17:36.120 this, what we hear is just what we always hear from women. 1.00
00:17:38.900 Depending on what you feel is how you feel the scenario was.
00:17:42.400 But if you didn't report it, if it wasn't unrecorded, all we have to go on is just what
00:17:47.820 you believe it is.
00:17:48.740 And you can't even be clearing what you believe it is.
00:17:50.800 What happened?
00:17:51.340 I disagree with that.
00:17:52.600 Like, sorry, but I disagree with that because you're saying that unless someone reports
00:17:57.700 it, you only have their, like, version of events to go on.
00:18:01.980 Yeah.
00:18:02.240 But there are people.
00:18:02.980 Yeah.
00:18:03.360 Yeah.
00:18:03.740 Yeah.
00:18:03.860 Sorry, guys.
00:18:05.240 But there are people who do report things and it's still their version of events.
00:18:09.360 But you didn't report it though.
00:18:11.540 Have you?
00:18:12.080 Because if you don't, if you don't wait, wait, if you don't report it, it's he said,
00:18:15.500 she said.
00:18:16.280 Yeah.
00:18:16.420 But even when you report it, he said, she said.
00:18:18.740 And when people report grape issues or SA issues, it's still a he say, she say.
00:18:24.940 Because if you're in a relationship with someone, if it's your uncle, yeah, whoever
00:18:29.340 it is, it's a personal thing.
00:18:31.820 You understand?
00:18:32.840 When you, like, people aren't here right now, there's a whole heap of people in this
00:18:35.980 room, yeah?
00:18:36.560 But when your man does certain things, your man, you know, and you haven't agreed to
00:18:43.620 it, it's still a he say, she say.
00:18:45.780 Did you report it?
00:18:46.480 No, no, no.
00:18:46.960 I'm saying to you.
00:18:48.140 But did you report it?
00:18:49.040 I am saying to you that whether it's reported.
00:18:51.460 But did you report it?
00:18:52.780 Wait, to hear what I have to say.
00:18:54.120 I'm saying to you that whether it's reported or whether it's not reported, it's still a
00:18:58.020 he say, she say. 0.97
00:18:58.620 And the reason why people don't report it is because it's still a he say, she say.
00:19:02.720 There's no evidence.
00:19:03.660 There's no camera in my room, right?
00:19:05.900 There's no camera in my room to prove that what I'm saying is true.
00:19:09.020 So why didn't you report it?
00:19:11.000 But what are you talking about?
00:19:12.180 I'm talking about hypothetical situations.
00:19:13.700 Okay, okay, so.
00:19:14.780 Do you understand the concept of what's a wonderful?
00:19:15.760 Yes, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do.
00:19:18.140 Okay, wait, wait, wait, but even when it's a he said, she said, people have patterns
00:19:21.640 of behavior.
00:19:22.520 A hundred percent.
00:19:22.840 Like, honestly, I think it's selfish not to report it.
00:19:25.140 I genuinely think it's selfish.
00:19:26.480 Like, you want them to do that to someone else?
00:19:28.320 If it genuinely happened, like, why would you not report it?
00:19:31.580 Because even if, like, let's say justice isn't served for you, if ten girls come forward 0.99
00:19:36.460 with the same story, eventually they can build a case against a guy.
00:19:39.660 It's happened.
00:19:40.100 I've seen it happen.
00:19:41.160 So it's genuinely selfish if you don't call it.
00:19:42.800 So when you say he says she, she, every time you go to the police and you make an accusation
00:19:47.040 against someone and report, it's always he says she, she.
00:19:49.420 Nothing is ever concrete.
00:19:50.560 The reason why you go to the police is so that a case can be pulled against the person.
00:19:54.060 So if I have five girls that say to me, my boss was inappropriate to me, and I said 1.00
00:19:58.200 to you, okay, cool.
00:19:58.980 Or my sister says to me, my boss was inappropriate to you.
00:20:01.260 I say, the first thing you do is go and report it.
00:20:03.260 If five women do not report it, then they say to me, oh, it's because of he says she,
00:20:06.960 she, she, whose fault is that?
00:20:08.220 But we're not even blaming people.
00:20:10.120 I'm not, no, no, no, no.
00:20:10.920 I'm not blaming because she said to me.
00:20:12.200 Because you are.
00:20:12.940 No, no, no, no, no, no.
00:20:13.500 But I thought you were going to do it.
00:20:14.420 Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, listen for a second, yeah.
00:20:17.660 She said to me, apparently I don't understand.
00:20:20.660 But I'm saying I do understand.
00:20:22.060 If someone does something to you, this is, look, let me look to the camera.
00:20:24.940 Ladies, women, if somebody does something to you in your workplace, in your home, any man 0.99
00:20:29.940 is inappropriate, you need to go and report it straight away.
00:20:33.000 You need to.
00:20:33.640 And this is what I'm going to advocate for.
00:20:34.820 Because if you come on a platform and you say, oh, my man did this to me, my boss did
00:20:39.780 this to me, and you tell me, and I say to you, so what did you do about it?
00:20:42.520 You said nothing.
00:20:43.260 I'm sorry.
00:20:43.760 I just can't.
00:20:44.200 I just can't.
00:20:44.720 I just can't take every woman that says that the truth. 1.00
00:20:46.640 I'm sorry.
00:20:46.920 I can't do that.
00:20:47.480 But can we just say very quickly.
00:20:48.820 I think that's wrong.
00:20:49.300 I think we really, really should add that some women are so traumatized by what they have 0.90
00:20:57.660 experienced.
00:20:58.360 Thank you.
00:20:59.000 They find it difficult to come forward.
00:21:01.160 Have you experienced essay, pearly things, or you?
00:21:04.100 Have you experienced it?
00:21:05.220 Which is, which is, which is, I mean, the definition, the definition for essay is so broad now.
00:21:09.720 What is the definition?
00:21:10.480 The definition, I don't even know.
00:21:12.040 They change it every year.
00:21:13.440 And it's also perception.
00:21:14.260 But arguably, I could, yeah, I could argue that I have.
00:21:17.440 And did you report every experience of essay?
00:21:19.600 Yes.
00:21:20.280 Every single experience?
00:21:21.360 It doesn't happen to me that many times.
00:21:24.040 You were so brave then for having the courage to do it.
00:21:27.520 No, it's not.
00:21:28.100 But some women. 1.00
00:21:28.940 It's.
00:21:29.540 What if the first thing I was supposed to report?
00:21:30.980 No, and I'm saying, I'm saying argue.
00:21:32.740 And it's arguably, because it's like, nowadays you can report someone grabbing your butt at a
00:21:37.760 bar.
00:21:38.040 So, but, but if that's not warranted or that's not invited.
00:21:41.320 But some people don't think that's like a higher enough, you know, report.
00:21:45.360 No, I don't know.
00:21:46.680 That's what I say.
00:21:47.440 It's so broad.
00:21:48.460 But I'm saying like, like if you're, to me, okay, it doesn't make sense to me if you can
00:21:54.800 come on a podcast and talk about something, but you can't talk about it to the police.
00:21:58.500 Exactly.
00:21:59.020 I was going to say that.
00:21:59.760 So, I understand that some people like, okay, they might, they might not want to talk about
00:22:04.020 it publicly or they might like, if they're afraid, then they wouldn't go to my podcast
00:22:07.360 and they wouldn't go to the police either.
00:22:09.740 But, so again, I still, but I still think it's selfish.
00:22:13.140 I think, I think if you, if you, if you're telling me I'm selfish for being a 17 year
00:22:17.540 old girl who lives in a hostel.
00:22:19.640 You don't know what I've experienced previous to that for not reporting my boss.
00:22:23.740 Who's probably about 40 years old and excuse me, let me land.
00:22:27.660 Don't interrupt me.
00:22:28.420 No, I'm just saying yes.
00:22:29.140 I'm not asking you.
00:22:30.120 I was asking pearly things.
00:22:31.300 Right.
00:22:31.740 I'm asking you if you think I'm selfish, I'm a child at this point.
00:22:35.700 Yeah.
00:22:36.040 I've been sexually harassed.
00:22:39.360 Yeah.
00:22:39.540 All of them things that, you know, you can say by, yeah, like by, oh, you can't, you
00:22:45.160 can't tell me nothing.
00:22:46.440 However, whatever your opinion is, that's your business.
00:22:48.380 Yeah.
00:22:48.780 Because I know my situation.
00:22:50.840 Yeah.
00:22:51.040 And what I have walked through in that, in that situation right now, I'm 33 years old.
00:22:55.080 Yeah.
00:22:55.520 So it's different now.
00:22:56.400 Of course I can sit down.
00:22:57.240 I work with, I do, I work in the community, but at that age, yeah, that young age, I am a
00:23:02.440 child.
00:23:03.120 I can't even open a bank account on my own.
00:23:06.380 Yeah.
00:23:06.840 And you're telling me I am selfish, I am selfish, I am selfish.
00:23:10.740 At 17, you can have a bank account.
00:23:11.580 Well, whatever you can't do, you can do a lot at 17.
00:23:14.300 Under 18.
00:23:15.500 People don't have that education.
00:23:16.760 At 17, you don't know you can open a bank.
00:23:18.620 You're trying to, you're trying to, you're trying to make jokes and you're trying to interject
00:23:22.660 and you're trying to diverge from something that is very, very important.
00:23:26.280 Okay.
00:23:26.440 And a lot of young women have experienced it.
00:23:29.000 Okay.
00:23:29.220 Okay.
00:23:29.440 Have you gone through SA?
00:23:30.980 Wait, Pearl.
00:23:31.560 No, no, no, no.
00:23:32.340 Okay.
00:23:32.520 You asked me the question first.
00:23:34.080 Go on.
00:23:34.320 Let it happen.
00:23:34.640 And then you go on this rant.
00:23:36.380 I did go on a rant because I felt like it.
00:23:38.980 Sorry, Pearl.
00:23:40.180 Okay.
00:23:40.760 Do I think that's selfish?
00:23:41.720 Yes.
00:23:42.100 Yeah.
00:23:42.300 I think because then other girls have to deal with it. 1.00
00:23:45.180 Like, I just think if something happened to me that was so traumatizing, like, I wouldn't
00:23:49.760 want other girls to go through that. 0.96
00:23:51.700 You're like, basically, I can't, I can't judge other people.
00:23:55.380 You can say what you want and feel what you want.
00:23:57.240 Yeah.
00:23:57.360 And have your opinion.
00:23:58.060 And that doesn't mean that much to me because you don't know what people go through.
00:24:03.700 What your capacity is at 17.
00:24:06.260 I don't know if you went through your experiences at that age.
00:24:08.700 And if you was living in a hostel at that age, and if you had gone through what I had gone
00:24:12.260 through at that age, yeah, we're different people.
00:24:14.680 Do you understand what I'm saying to you?
00:24:15.740 Yeah.
00:24:16.220 You sure?
00:24:16.820 I know we're different people.
00:24:17.740 We're different people.
00:24:18.500 So that's what I'm saying.
00:24:19.040 You might have the capacity.
00:24:20.300 You might have the support.
00:24:21.280 You might be living at home.
00:24:22.120 You might have your mom to rub your back at the police station. 1.00
00:24:24.640 I wasn't in that situation.
00:24:26.340 So there are many people that are experiencing things.
00:24:29.540 And I haven't got no judgment for you.
00:24:31.160 Do what you can do.
00:24:32.140 Because why is it up to the victims to find and look down, you know, as a child to build
00:24:38.980 up a case against these people?
00:24:41.020 When you have the capacity, yes.
00:24:43.600 I encourage, I support, but find an organization.
00:24:46.760 If you don't think you can do it on your own, if you are unsure, get the support that you
00:24:51.140 need.
00:24:51.340 The main thing is that you have got support to get through the trauma of, yes, you get
00:24:56.200 your bum grabbed at a nightclub, but there's varying different traumas and lemmas of SA.
00:25:00.140 There's an organization, it's called the police.
00:25:01.620 So listen to this.
00:25:02.140 I've just listened to you.
00:25:03.220 No, no, sorry.
00:25:04.180 Can I talk?
00:25:04.800 Because I've just listened to you.
00:25:05.700 I have scars on me from the police.
00:25:07.520 Why am I going to go to them when I'm being a police?
00:25:09.440 So what you're doing now is, we've let you speak, we've let you tell your story, we've
00:25:13.320 let you tell your passion.
00:25:14.500 But I'm sorry, but the world doesn't owe any one of us understanding.
00:25:17.760 Lots of people are going through lots of things.
00:25:19.380 Because end of the day, it's very selfish for you to be assaulted by a man or whatever
00:25:22.860 you said, and he's 40 years harassed or whatever it is, but it's made you feel this strongly
00:25:27.580 about it.
00:25:28.100 It's gone into your life and it's obviously followed you.
00:25:30.340 You have let this man go into the world and possibly do it to many other women before.
00:25:34.660 This is like knowing a man is actually like, for example, if someone touched kids and
00:25:39.500 you knew they did that and you never-
00:25:41.480 I was a kid.
00:25:41.920 I was a kid.
00:25:42.780 No, you wasn't.
00:25:43.220 You're 17.
00:25:43.720 Let's not do this.
00:25:44.240 Please stop you.
00:25:45.060 No, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen.
00:25:46.800 Technically.
00:25:47.120 Okay, so if you're going to keep doing this, then we're not going to be able to get off.
00:25:50.960 Because basically, you said to me, at 17, you can open a bank account.
00:25:54.040 You can open a bank account at like 11 years old.
00:25:56.060 What tends to happen is a lot of people come over here and they're trying to act like,
00:25:59.480 oh, when I wasn't an adult, at 17, you knew right from wrong.
00:26:03.020 End of the day, if you had any family, any people around you, if you didn't, could use
00:26:06.680 a scenario, I understand that.
00:26:07.760 But you have the police there.
00:26:09.000 You cannot come into a platform and be this fluid and be this articulate and challenge
00:26:12.860 Pearl and say to myself, oh, you know what?
00:26:14.460 I couldn't go to the police.
00:26:15.360 There's nobody around.
00:26:16.240 The police is there.
00:26:16.940 Then you say to me, okay, I got attacked by the police.
00:26:19.000 Okay, so you don't have, or whatever it is you say.
00:26:20.920 I've got scars on me for the police.
00:26:21.480 Okay, cool.
00:26:22.080 So why am I going to go to the police?
00:26:23.740 Okay, okay.
00:26:24.400 So now.
00:26:24.820 Who at 15 have assaulted me.
00:26:27.020 Okay, cool.
00:26:27.400 So now we can't go to the police, right?
00:26:29.100 So you don't have.
00:26:29.380 So who do we go to?
00:26:30.460 I'm just discovering.
00:26:31.320 Who do we report it to?
00:26:32.560 I'm just discovering.
00:26:33.400 My manager.
00:26:34.000 Who do we report?
00:26:34.520 I'm asking you.
00:26:34.880 You're telling me you can't go to the police.
00:26:36.320 Most people can go to the police.
00:26:37.220 But you're saying to me, so I don't have to take this on board.
00:26:45.360 What you're saying is very, very, very, very, very.
00:26:47.040 No, no, no, no, hold on a second, hold on a second.
00:26:48.280 Alex's coming, because this man is.
00:26:49.560 No, no, no, no, no, because what?
00:26:50.280 No, no, no, no.
00:26:51.100 You're not letting me finish.
00:26:52.660 You're not letting me finish.
00:26:53.740 Land, land, land, land.
00:26:54.060 And the reason you're not letting me finish is because the moment I do, you don't have
00:26:56.680 nothing to push back on.
00:26:57.840 You just really.
00:26:58.600 Talk, big man.
00:26:59.420 Talk, talk, talk.
00:27:00.140 Let me hear what you're going to say.
00:27:01.000 Okay, okay.
00:27:01.360 Come on.
00:27:01.840 Can I present something a second?
00:27:03.320 One second.
00:27:03.640 Can I just.
00:27:04.180 You know what it is?
00:27:04.960 Guys, guys, guys, guys.
00:27:06.080 Let him finish.
00:27:06.920 Because the thing is, yeah, we're not going to be able to have a conversation if you keep
00:27:09.700 doing this, because you keep getting triggered.
00:27:11.120 Why are you getting so triggered?
00:27:12.580 It gets like that.
00:27:13.200 No, if this is trauma, let's not talk about it, because you're getting very triggered by
00:27:16.020 it, and you don't have to speak about it.
00:27:17.360 If this is causing you trauma, because we can't even have a conversation, in order for
00:27:20.680 me to have a conversation, we're going to have to ask you some questions.
00:27:23.060 We're going to have to diverge.
00:27:24.000 And every time I do, you get triggered and you interrupt me.
00:27:26.440 So I don't want to do it if we can't do it, Paul.
00:27:28.260 There's no point.
00:27:28.900 Say what you have to say.
00:27:29.900 You said you're going to land.
00:27:30.620 Is that what you have to say?
00:27:32.140 Is that what you have to say?
00:27:33.120 Alex, take it, take it, take it.
00:27:34.220 Okay, that's what I thought.
00:27:35.320 All right, let me present something to you, Steph, yeah?
00:27:37.980 Yes, Alex.
00:27:38.580 For the rest of us to just listen to.
00:27:42.140 So, Steph, let's say you could, you were looking right now at a 17-year-old girl who has just
00:27:50.480 experienced, you're a fly on the wall, you see a 17-year-old girl who's just experienced
00:27:55.260 what you went through with the police, with those situations.
00:28:01.200 What, right now, sitting here now, what do you think are the steps that that 17-year-old
00:28:07.860 girl should take? 0.99
00:28:09.180 I'd like to hear from the rest of the panel.
00:28:10.860 I've heard from two men.
00:28:12.420 Come on, man.
00:28:12.500 No, don't do that.
00:28:13.320 Don't do that.
00:28:14.020 Don't do that.
00:28:15.120 Don't do that, man.
00:28:16.140 I'm asking.
00:28:16.580 I'm asking.
00:28:17.800 I'm asking.
00:28:19.000 He's asking you a question.
00:28:20.600 Yeah, I'm asking you directly.
00:28:22.980 My advice and my concern is for her mental health and that she is supported.
00:28:30.420 So, my priority over speaking to the police, which I think is the best course of action
00:28:35.980 if she feels able to do so, is to make sure that somebody she trusts, whether it's a member
00:28:41.820 of her family, whether it's a friend, whoever is aware of her situation, because if she's
00:28:47.480 feeling low, if, you know, I mean, that's my concern.
00:28:50.700 My general concern.
00:28:51.960 You don't think the number one concern would be to stop it from happening again?
00:28:55.800 Because it happened to her.
00:28:57.660 So, now it could happen to 10 girls or it could happen to one girl. 0.96
00:29:00.920 I think it's a point of view situation that we're not going on.
00:29:04.000 I was going to say that.
00:29:04.460 It's someone coming from trauma and someone coming from stoicism.
00:29:07.940 So, it's two completely different point of views that don't interject.
00:29:12.140 So, I get what you're saying in the sense that, say it with your chest, right?
00:29:16.940 Those things happened to you.
00:29:18.020 They were awful.
00:29:18.860 I'm very sorry.
00:29:19.800 But your statistic is, you're coming at her with maths.
00:29:23.000 Your maths is off, right?
00:29:24.020 And she's saying these things happen to me.
00:29:25.680 So, obviously, there's going to be a complete non...
00:29:28.940 So, can I just stop you for a second?
00:29:30.340 I'll let you go on.
00:29:30.940 You know what it is?
00:29:31.600 I've come on this platform before.
00:29:32.780 I have three sisters.
00:29:33.760 I have four nieces.
00:29:35.400 Like, I am very...
00:29:36.600 I've just been spending the whole day with my niece.
00:29:38.040 You can look at my story, playing with them, yeah?
00:29:39.580 I have a very good relationship with my younger sister.
00:29:41.700 And we speak about a lot of things.
00:29:43.100 So, if you said you never...
00:29:45.460 If you don't have people around you and you can't go to the police,
00:29:48.160 then I'm more concerned that there's men around here and doing things to women. 0.79
00:29:51.500 Because I keep hearing this.
00:29:52.680 And this is not how I was raised.
00:29:53.920 So, I'm like, what can we do to stop this?
00:29:56.480 And whenever I...
00:29:56.960 But that will split in a conversation.
00:29:57.820 But whenever I try to speak about what can we do to stop this
00:30:00.400 or what can we do to at least bring more awareness to this,
00:30:02.460 it just goes round and round and round.
00:30:04.300 A suggestion of what people can do to stop this is perhaps...
00:30:07.420 Okay, right.
00:30:07.940 Something's awful has happened to you.
00:30:09.740 You don't feel like you can say it, right?
00:30:12.560 You don't feel like you have that safe space to say it.
00:30:15.320 So, you hold on to it.
00:30:16.400 It becomes an internal trauma.
00:30:18.300 And then when someone mentioned it to you, you fly off the handle.
00:30:21.180 That's how most people handle these situations.
00:30:23.620 But what you're saying is, what can I do?
00:30:25.460 So, when someone flies off the handle, yeah,
00:30:27.640 don't come at them with maths.
00:30:29.220 It's come at them from, I understand that you're...
00:30:34.620 This reaction comes from a place of fear and anger.
00:30:37.740 You're asking him to communicate like a woman. 0.99
00:30:39.740 He's a man.
00:30:40.680 No, no, no.
00:30:41.500 In fact, I'm asking him to just communicate with me.
00:30:44.500 No, you're asking him to communicate like a woman. 0.62
00:30:46.560 Well, then you're putting different variances on the world.
00:30:49.180 Let me...
00:30:49.740 Sorry, sorry.
00:30:50.580 One second.
00:30:51.200 Again, we come to the dichotomy of words.
00:30:53.180 One second.
00:30:54.660 I think this is interesting, so...
00:30:56.180 It goes back to macho-ness and, like, you know,
00:30:58.500 dominance of men over powering women.
00:31:01.000 Toxic, masculinity.
00:31:02.400 Alex, one sec.
00:31:03.840 You know, in a very subtle manner,
00:31:05.700 or you can't divert your vocabulary.
00:31:07.600 Alex, Alex, you're going to jump in after me,
00:31:09.100 but hold on a second.
00:31:09.860 What you're doing is what?
00:31:10.940 See, okay, so, you're doing tone police,
00:31:13.000 and we get this every single week.
00:31:14.540 No, because you've literally just done
00:31:16.100 what the girl did the last week,
00:31:17.260 and the girl did the last week. 1.00
00:31:18.200 If you go look on my story on TikTok,
00:31:19.680 it's going viral.
00:31:20.660 Every single time a man speaks, 0.99
00:31:22.900 I have a woman... 1.00
00:31:23.400 No, it's every time a man makes a point.
00:31:25.260 It's every time a man makes a point, 0.97
00:31:26.780 now it's your tone.
00:31:27.560 So, hold on.
00:31:28.440 I was even trying to...
00:31:29.160 No, no, but what I'm trying to...
00:31:29.960 Let me come in.
00:31:30.640 Let me come in.
00:31:30.940 Alex, let me just say,
00:31:31.700 and you can just literally come after me.
00:31:32.940 Pearl, we'll let you go.
00:31:33.740 But the reason I want to speak about this,
00:31:35.120 because men, we speak direct.
00:31:36.340 We are not women. 1.00
00:31:37.620 I understand that.
00:31:38.260 Okay, so we have a different vocal tone.
00:31:40.100 We have a different base in it, right?
00:31:41.460 When a man articulates himself,
00:31:42.920 when men are direct,
00:31:43.720 what women tend to do, 1.00
00:31:44.760 we go around the houses.
00:31:45.760 We've just spent a lot of time
00:31:46.720 going around to get to the bottom of something.
00:31:48.320 I completely understand what you're saying,
00:31:49.800 but when you speak about men's tone,
00:31:51.740 we are not women. 1.00
00:31:53.400 And you don't want us to be women. 0.93
00:31:54.740 That's the point that I was making.
00:31:55.860 I thought you didn't understand
00:31:57.720 what I was trying to say.
00:31:59.160 Pearl was saying that
00:31:59.840 she was basically trying to make you speak 0.92
00:32:01.420 as if you was a female
00:32:02.260 and that's something you can't do.
00:32:03.420 Okay, cool, cool.
00:32:04.020 That's part of it.
00:32:05.060 It's the reason of this whole topic,
00:32:07.000 which is men harassment
00:32:08.500 within the workplace
00:32:09.660 and what we were saying
00:32:10.320 about how men can come across
00:32:11.640 towards women 0.70
00:32:12.380 when we are in a situation.
00:32:13.340 Do you think,
00:32:13.920 Alex, you'll just take this for me.
00:32:15.080 You can't,
00:32:15.980 what's the word?
00:32:16.880 You can't,
00:32:17.340 you can't like
00:32:18.800 adapt.
00:32:20.320 That's the word I'm looking for.
00:32:20.900 Do you feel I'm not being sensitive to her?
00:32:22.440 No, it's adapting.
00:32:23.520 Like adaptation.
00:32:24.420 You can't adapt.
00:32:25.040 You're not even choosing to be
00:32:25.980 on a level to be like,
00:32:27.260 you know what,
00:32:27.480 let me try and work out.
00:32:28.940 No one's saying you to be a female 1.00
00:32:29.680 because physically you can't be.
00:32:30.840 We understand that.
00:32:31.620 But there's a part of your brain
00:32:32.720 that can click.
00:32:33.800 And try and understand
00:32:34.820 how to come across
00:32:36.620 a bit subtle towards a female.
00:32:37.980 What you want me to do,
00:32:40.240 no, what you want me to do,
00:32:41.980 what you want me to do,
00:32:43.220 is you,
00:32:43.360 I'm trying to say
00:32:44.500 you should talk in a tone.
00:32:45.440 No, no,
00:32:45.880 because basically
00:32:46.360 what you want me to do
00:32:47.280 is you want me to basically
00:32:48.520 tiptoe around this whole,
00:32:49.560 I don't want you to.
00:32:50.060 No, because basically
00:32:50.860 all I've done is
00:32:51.740 simply ask her a question.
00:32:53.200 I've listened to what you've said.
00:32:54.280 I've asked you,
00:32:54.740 why didn't you report it?
00:32:55.620 You've told me
00:32:55.940 you couldn't go to the police.
00:32:56.700 You've told me you got scars.
00:32:57.640 You've told me
00:32:58.120 all the different things, yeah?
00:32:59.420 Cool, but if there's,
00:33:00.580 my concern is,
00:33:01.740 is that when this happens,
00:33:03.300 women don't, 1.00
00:33:03.960 and there's men
00:33:04.380 that's walking around
00:33:05.120 and is continuing
00:33:05.560 what's happened to.
00:33:06.140 So when I say,
00:33:06.840 what can we do,
00:33:08.060 yeah,
00:33:08.260 because there's a girl
00:33:08.800 in your situation now
00:33:09.680 and she hasn't got brothers,
00:33:11.080 she hasn't got family,
00:33:11.860 she's in a hostel as well,
00:33:13.240 yeah,
00:33:13.680 what does she do? 1.00
00:33:14.560 She can't go to the police,
00:33:15.460 what does she do? 1.00
00:33:15.920 There's a very good ad that on TV.
00:33:17.300 There's a very good ad that on TV.
00:33:18.040 Someone just gave you
00:33:18.900 an example of what you can do.
00:33:21.040 Someone just gave you
00:33:21.720 an example of what you can do.
00:33:22.620 As a man,
00:33:23.080 what you could do
00:33:23.720 for a woman
00:33:24.540 or a young girl
00:33:25.300 in that situation.
00:33:26.540 Someone else is giving you
00:33:27.460 an example of what you can do.
00:33:28.800 I was asked
00:33:29.320 what I'd advise
00:33:30.080 other young people
00:33:34.380 in that situation.
00:33:35.120 Feel free to listen
00:33:36.060 to some options.
00:33:37.360 You don't have to take them on
00:33:38.300 as I think these are valid examples.
00:33:39.980 I'm listening.
00:33:40.920 There's even an ad on TV
00:33:42.080 that states exactly this
00:33:43.200 where it's like
00:33:43.720 a guy's in the park
00:33:45.080 of his friends,
00:33:45.740 whatever,
00:33:46.000 not a woman walks past,
00:33:46.800 a guy turns around
00:33:47.420 starts rubbing necking.
00:33:48.400 Oh yeah,
00:33:49.320 nice one.
00:33:50.300 Rubber necking is like
00:33:50.960 a saying of like
00:33:51.700 when a guy breaks his neck
00:33:52.960 to like put jesters at a woman 1.00
00:33:54.320 or just throw things out.
00:33:55.540 He just...
00:33:55.820 Throw things?
00:33:56.540 Yeah,
00:33:56.760 throw things out verbally
00:33:57.720 like messages.
00:33:59.120 Like whether you can say...
00:33:59.800 Oh, he cat calls.
00:34:02.020 Yeah.
00:34:03.100 There's so many different
00:34:04.000 terminologies
00:34:04.800 but rubber necking
00:34:05.380 is a terminology
00:34:06.200 obviously.
00:34:06.680 Cat callers another terminology.
00:34:07.820 Wait,
00:34:08.320 what does the cat calling
00:34:09.180 have to do with them?
00:34:09.860 Cat calling is more
00:34:10.760 a vocalisation
00:34:11.540 whereas the rubber necking
00:34:12.660 is the turning of the neck.
00:34:13.780 Yeah,
00:34:14.040 but it was both.
00:34:14.740 That's my point.
00:34:15.360 Oh, it's like
00:34:15.580 when they're like
00:34:16.000 damn.
00:34:16.240 Yes,
00:34:16.680 that's what I'm trying to say.
00:34:17.960 But wait,
00:34:18.420 is...
00:34:18.680 Is that bad?
00:34:19.680 No, I'm giving you...
00:34:20.320 I'm trying to land.
00:34:21.320 I'm just asking.
00:34:21.980 No, no,
00:34:22.180 not necessarily that's a bad
00:34:23.240 or a good thing
00:34:23.740 but the point I'm trying to make
00:34:24.620 is the advert was stating
00:34:25.840 sexual harassment
00:34:26.580 and they were saying that
00:34:27.580 basically within that situation,
00:34:29.020 let me land quickly
00:34:30.000 the guy turned around
00:34:31.460 and his friend basically
00:34:32.180 was like to him
00:34:32.660 like don't do that.
00:34:33.460 He stepped in
00:34:34.340 and allowed him to like
00:34:35.280 understand that
00:34:36.040 maybe that woman 1.00
00:34:36.580 might feel it's inappropriate.
00:34:37.520 Maybe to his mind
00:34:38.340 he's just like
00:34:39.040 oh, what's your number?
00:34:39.780 You look nice.
00:34:40.380 Them jeans look tight
00:34:41.360 or whatever he's going to say.
00:34:41.900 Do you feel that's SA?
00:34:43.220 To me personally
00:34:44.360 I've got a bit of a stronger
00:34:46.080 exterior and interior
00:34:47.260 so those things
00:34:48.640 don't really faze me
00:34:49.260 depending on how I'm approached.
00:34:50.620 So for myself,
00:34:51.360 no.
00:34:51.600 But for another woman
00:34:52.280 that's a bit more fragile
00:34:53.360 than me,
00:34:53.800 a bit less...
00:34:54.240 Do you think that's confusing
00:34:55.300 for men?
00:34:56.060 It can be at times
00:34:56.960 because some women accept that. 1.00
00:34:57.840 Like even with the workplace
00:34:59.080 like the number one
00:35:00.000 before dating apps
00:35:01.820 the number one people
00:35:02.720 place that people
00:35:03.580 would meet was work.
00:35:05.020 So it's kind of confusing
00:35:06.380 because sometimes
00:35:07.560 girls are into it 1.00
00:35:10.260 when their bosses
00:35:10.840 hit on them.
00:35:11.460 This is the thing.
00:35:12.040 And like another times
00:35:13.020 like girls actively
00:35:14.000 seek out their bosses
00:35:15.000 and try to sleep with them.
00:35:16.960 But is it not about
00:35:17.860 reading the room?
00:35:19.200 Women are different. 1.00
00:35:20.140 Read the room.
00:35:20.960 Yeah.
00:35:21.560 What do you mean?
00:35:22.620 Like for example
00:35:23.740 if there's a female 1.00
00:35:24.880 who's interested in her boss
00:35:26.480 that's different to a female 1.00
00:35:27.640 who the male manager 0.91
00:35:29.260 needs to read the room
00:35:30.260 that that colleague
00:35:31.620 is not into it?
00:35:32.280 Do you think girls ever 1.00
00:35:34.340 give mixed signals
00:35:35.320 or flirt for attention?
00:35:37.420 We definitely do.
00:35:38.220 I don't know.
00:35:39.040 Who said we definitely?
00:35:41.080 So do you think
00:35:41.540 that's confusing for men?
00:35:43.100 And sometimes...
00:35:43.760 I feel like women
00:35:44.560 have sexual...
00:35:45.520 sex appeal.
00:35:46.860 Like we have sexual attractions
00:35:47.840 that we can, you know,
00:35:49.220 sometimes put out
00:35:50.040 consciously or unconsciously
00:35:51.440 to male counterparts 0.72
00:35:52.420 and they can take it
00:35:53.780 upon themselves
00:35:54.320 to decide whether
00:35:55.040 it's deliberate
00:35:55.460 or, you know,
00:35:56.580 she just accidentally
00:35:57.620 walked past me
00:35:58.240 and her bum was shaking 0.90
00:35:59.020 as if was she shaking
00:36:00.320 her bum 0.95
00:36:00.560 when she was walking
00:36:00.900 past me.
00:36:01.380 Right.
00:36:01.600 But I'm saying like
00:36:02.840 one girl, you know,
00:36:03.880 he might turn and say,
00:36:04.920 damn,
00:36:05.200 and one girl might think 0.95
00:36:06.220 that's disgusting
00:36:07.020 and be traumatized
00:36:08.420 and one girl might be like, 1.00
00:36:09.820 okay, you know,
00:36:10.660 and so you don't think
00:36:11.500 that's confusing for men?
00:36:12.520 It can be,
00:36:13.080 but I feel like
00:36:13.460 that's where you then
00:36:14.160 break the ice
00:36:14.700 with vocalization.
00:36:16.480 You start vocalizing
00:36:17.080 like,
00:36:17.240 do you feel comfortable
00:36:19.700 with what I'm saying?
00:36:20.280 Or, you know,
00:36:20.580 you try to break the ice.
00:36:21.240 Like, some guys don't
00:36:22.300 tend to go into it.
00:36:23.180 They just keep it
00:36:23.680 at that level of,
00:36:24.620 you know,
00:36:25.120 snappiness.
00:36:25.960 Like, they're trying
00:36:26.320 to be charming
00:36:26.760 or witty or whatever it is
00:36:27.840 where other guys
00:36:28.660 have a bit more context
00:36:29.480 to them.
00:36:29.840 They will be like,
00:36:30.440 you know,
00:36:30.760 I would like to speak to you
00:36:31.640 or, you know,
00:36:31.980 I thought that comment
00:36:32.940 would be, you know,
00:36:33.540 something that would
00:36:33.920 get your attention.
00:36:34.380 This is why I don't
00:36:35.100 move to girls.
00:36:35.660 I said it before.
00:36:36.240 I said it to Cameron.
00:36:36.820 No, I don't.
00:36:37.540 No, I don't move to girls.
00:36:38.680 I haven't moved.
00:36:39.040 I haven't moved.
00:36:40.260 How do you meet me?
00:36:43.940 I'll tell you.
00:36:44.500 Girls move to me. 1.00
00:36:45.380 How did you find
00:36:46.380 your girl?
00:36:46.900 No, so,
00:36:47.780 no, I'm being serious.
00:36:49.000 I'm not joking.
00:36:49.860 Girls move to me. 1.00
00:36:50.560 I haven't moved to
00:36:51.220 girls in the longest time. 0.88
00:36:52.580 How do you feel about that?
00:36:53.780 Do you feel like you're
00:36:54.140 being sexually harassed
00:36:54.920 or maybe put upon
00:36:55.780 moving to you?
00:36:57.000 How do they move to you?
00:36:57.600 Like, grab your thigh?
00:36:58.400 No, see,
00:36:59.200 this is...
00:36:59.340 I'm just wondering.
00:36:59.900 So when a man moves to you, 0.93
00:37:01.280 how does he grab your thigh?
00:37:02.560 Some guys have done
00:37:03.500 different actions.
00:37:04.240 But that's not moving to you.
00:37:04.640 Everyone is different.
00:37:05.460 Is it not?
00:37:06.040 That might be in his mind.
00:37:07.140 That might be his level
00:37:08.080 of frustration to move to you.
00:37:08.900 Okay, okay.
00:37:09.220 I think if you don't know
00:37:10.540 how to approach someone,
00:37:11.500 if you have to...
00:37:12.000 If I move up to a girl, 0.99
00:37:13.260 I don't know
00:37:13.620 and I'll grab her thigh, 1.00
00:37:14.520 what do you think
00:37:14.880 is going to happen to me?
00:37:15.540 We're just speaking about this.
00:37:16.340 So let's just take that away.
00:37:17.640 If you allow...
00:37:18.160 Like Cole just said,
00:37:18.800 a girl might accept that 0.71
00:37:19.700 and another girl might not. 0.69
00:37:20.520 No, but no man should be...
00:37:21.820 No man should... 0.95
00:37:22.380 Okay, guys,
00:37:22.940 let me put it in the camera.
00:37:23.960 So when you say guys do,
00:37:25.940 it's some guys,
00:37:27.400 the guys you deal with.
00:37:28.340 I would never...
00:37:28.920 No, I've never dealt
00:37:29.260 with a guy that's ever done that.
00:37:30.160 Okay, so then,
00:37:30.860 so then who are we talking about?
00:37:32.420 I'm giving experiences
00:37:33.560 and obviously I've been in this
00:37:34.560 lifetime for a while
00:37:36.160 to have experiences
00:37:37.060 and see things.
00:37:37.980 You know, not necessarily
00:37:38.500 every experience
00:37:39.320 is my personal experience.
00:37:40.520 It might be a bicarious experience 1.00
00:37:41.500 through someone else's life,
00:37:42.420 you know?
00:37:42.860 But I think,
00:37:43.420 okay, so when we're talking
00:37:44.440 about experience,
00:37:45.100 let's try to keep to
00:37:45.840 what we know,
00:37:46.600 what's happened to us.
00:37:47.340 What I know is that
00:37:47.940 men are very forward
00:37:48.820 and at times when they're being forward
00:37:50.120 they're not thinking...
00:37:50.780 Some men...
00:37:51.420 I can only talk about men 0.93
00:37:52.300 as a species.
00:37:53.000 No, because if I say...
00:37:54.840 No, because when I say,
00:37:55.520 okay, for example,
00:37:56.120 when we say women,
00:37:56.740 we say modern women 0.99
00:37:57.520 because we're not speaking
00:37:58.120 about all women.
00:37:58.880 And when we speak...
00:37:59.360 Well, modern men, 0.98
00:38:00.440 a lot of modern men
00:38:01.180 are very forward,
00:38:01.780 especially with the
00:38:02.600 lifestyle and living
00:38:03.600 that has been
00:38:04.140 accommodated these days.
00:38:05.700 They're very forward
00:38:06.320 with their personas,
00:38:08.380 shall I say,
00:38:08.760 the way they want to move.
00:38:09.680 And I feel like
00:38:10.300 they have to uphold
00:38:11.000 a certain level of interaction
00:38:13.380 to make it make sense
00:38:14.740 in their minds.
00:38:15.340 Not necessarily that
00:38:15.860 it needs to make sense
00:38:16.360 in the actual physicality.
00:38:18.060 In their minds,
00:38:18.640 it looks good.
00:38:19.260 Okay, so let me get back
00:38:20.200 to when I was talking about
00:38:20.960 I'm not moving to girls. 0.97
00:38:22.040 So, especially with
00:38:22.760 the whole Me Too movement,
00:38:23.800 yeah?
00:38:24.100 What's happening now is,
00:38:25.220 yeah?
00:38:25.520 Like, this is...
00:38:26.180 I've always been this way
00:38:27.240 before,
00:38:27.820 but I'm going to say to men,
00:38:28.740 the reason why...
00:38:29.960 So, we don't know
00:38:31.220 for one woman,
00:38:32.560 it's okay to,
00:38:33.520 you know,
00:38:33.880 pull up on and say,
00:38:34.620 do the whole Chris Brown thing,
00:38:35.780 excuse me, miss.
00:38:36.380 You know,
00:38:36.640 yeah, the whole 90s R&B,
00:38:38.420 like, pull up in the car.
00:38:40.260 It might be cute for you.
00:38:41.600 For another woman,
00:38:42.400 it might be a red flag.
00:38:43.540 It might trigger trauma, right?
00:38:45.060 So, it's pretty safe
00:38:46.620 for me to say that
00:38:47.420 if you want a man
00:38:48.640 to come up to you,
00:38:49.520 and this is what women 1.00
00:38:50.100 used to do of old,
00:38:50.820 you would let a man know.
00:38:51.640 There's a lot of ways
00:38:52.380 that a woman can let a man know 0.99
00:38:53.600 that she wants him
00:38:54.440 to come up to her.
00:38:55.080 She can... 1.00
00:38:55.520 You know, you...
00:38:56.160 Listen, we have all these women here. 1.00
00:38:57.480 I'm sure if you want
00:38:58.120 to let a man know
00:38:58.800 to approach you,
00:38:59.320 you know how to do it.
00:39:00.300 Women have been doing this forever, 1.00
00:39:01.440 right?
00:39:01.560 You can look at a man,
00:39:02.600 you can smile at a man,
00:39:03.640 you can wink,
00:39:03.960 you can even walk past him
00:39:04.900 and drop something
00:39:05.420 and make him pick it up
00:39:06.180 and make him come to get it,
00:39:07.280 and then you can do that, right?
00:39:08.640 Women know how to make 1.00
00:39:09.740 a man know to approach you.
00:39:10.560 That's the difference between
00:39:11.320 a random girl walking past me
00:39:13.040 and me trying to grab up
00:39:13.800 her arm and say,
00:39:14.300 excuse me.
00:39:14.720 She's like,
00:39:15.020 who are you?
00:39:15.500 She's going about her business.
00:39:17.120 It's called yes and no.
00:39:18.880 What do you mean?
00:39:19.260 It's a simple yes and no.
00:39:20.600 What do you mean?
00:39:21.200 What do you mean?
00:39:21.740 What do I mean?
00:39:22.800 You're saying that a woman 1.00
00:39:23.900 lets you know
00:39:24.640 whether she's interested.
00:39:25.380 Yes, yo, come.
00:39:26.960 No, I'm not interested.
00:39:28.060 It's a simple yes or no.
00:39:29.020 No, no, so as a woman,
00:39:30.680 yeah, as a woman,
00:39:31.380 I don't even have to get
00:39:32.100 to that point.
00:39:32.580 I don't have to approach you.
00:39:33.780 You can literally look at me
00:39:34.860 and if you look at me
00:39:36.120 in a way that you want to...
00:39:36.860 Okay, so if I give you
00:39:37.120 a look right now
00:39:37.780 that makes you feel like
00:39:38.460 I like you,
00:39:38.940 what's happening?
00:39:39.840 I'll approach you.
00:39:41.020 Approach me how?
00:39:41.880 What do you mean?
00:39:42.080 What's your approach?
00:39:42.780 Well, I said,
00:39:43.400 what's your approach?
00:39:44.180 I've winked at you.
00:39:45.120 I don't know.
00:39:45.480 I start licking my lips.
00:39:46.100 Oh, I don't know.
00:39:46.820 I'll be like,
00:39:47.220 I'll be like,
00:39:48.280 you need some Vaseline? 0.52
00:39:50.060 Clearly, I've already
00:39:50.740 got gloss, so is that...
00:39:51.740 No, but you're licking your... 0.98
00:39:52.740 No, no, no.
00:39:54.460 You ask me...
00:39:55.040 No, you stop, stop it.
00:39:55.980 Stop it.
00:39:56.220 I feel I'm scared.
00:39:56.940 No, wait, hold on.
00:39:57.700 Guys, guys, guys.
00:39:58.300 No, no, no, no.
00:39:59.020 Pearl, hold on, hold on a second.
00:40:00.660 We need to move on.
00:40:01.440 We're not on the original topic.
00:40:02.920 We need to move on.
00:40:03.680 Okay.
00:40:04.260 Okay, so what about you?
00:40:06.600 With...
00:40:07.000 Oh, wait, no.
00:40:07.400 You were next.
00:40:08.060 You were next, right?
00:40:09.340 Did you go?
00:40:09.880 Because we're talking about...
00:40:11.020 Yeah, okay.
00:40:11.600 What is your overall experience
00:40:12.900 with female leadership 0.86
00:40:13.840 compared with male leadership
00:40:15.020 in your industry?
00:40:17.120 I'll be brief.
00:40:18.720 Lardiel.
00:40:21.040 So far we went off it.
00:40:22.680 I'll be brief.
00:40:23.120 So far.
00:40:26.140 I've had both.
00:40:27.720 I enjoy men.
00:40:29.220 I personally respect
00:40:30.280 men's decision-making.
00:40:31.740 It's quicker.
00:40:32.480 It's less layers.
00:40:33.820 It's less fuss.
00:40:35.360 I don't care if you can't do something
00:40:36.460 because you're on your period.
00:40:37.280 Let's move.
00:40:38.300 Thank you.
00:40:38.960 It's extremely exhausting
00:40:40.560 when...
00:40:41.320 Especially in a business place
00:40:42.480 we need to make decisions quick
00:40:43.780 and we need to be innovative.
00:40:45.540 So with women 0.98
00:40:46.640 I'm not saying they're not these things
00:40:47.820 but it takes them longer
00:40:48.600 to make that decision
00:40:49.440 to be innovative.
00:40:50.380 It takes them longer
00:40:50.960 to make a decision.
00:40:51.940 The decision keeps changing.
00:40:54.140 I'm not saying men
00:40:54.940 don't have that capacity
00:40:55.940 but that capacity
00:40:56.700 seems to be shorter
00:40:57.640 which is what I enjoy more.
00:41:00.780 I've experienced...
00:41:02.580 Do you feel that way
00:41:03.140 about yourself?
00:41:04.380 What do you mean?
00:41:04.860 What you just said
00:41:05.520 about women leaders.
00:41:07.060 Yeah, I wouldn't...
00:41:08.480 Yep.
00:41:09.000 I wouldn't want to...
00:41:10.860 I would be my own boss
00:41:12.300 if I had to...
00:41:13.700 So much.
00:41:14.700 If I had to lead
00:41:17.300 I would prefer a male boss. 0.98
00:41:19.320 That's just me.
00:41:21.240 Like, I'm just like
00:41:22.380 I do what I do
00:41:23.540 you do what you do.
00:41:24.560 I agree with you.
00:41:25.320 I just think they're better at it.
00:41:26.460 Yeah, I just prefer
00:41:27.640 my feminine power 1.00
00:41:29.300 to be...
00:41:30.520 I feel like they need me
00:41:31.680 and I need them.
00:41:33.020 I don't even...
00:41:34.160 Just because his title is more...
00:41:35.860 I'm like...
00:41:37.300 I'm the underdog.
00:41:38.760 He can't do nothing without me.
00:41:40.300 Okay?
00:41:41.000 This man needs me.
00:41:42.640 Okay?
00:41:43.700 Men need... 0.99
00:41:44.300 Men need women. 1.00
00:41:45.900 I'm so confident
00:41:46.760 in that fact of men needing women.
00:41:48.700 No.
00:41:49.200 I'm chilled.
00:41:49.960 Women need men. 1.00
00:41:51.400 I'm chilled.
00:41:52.300 Like, cool.
00:41:53.660 If you need to have...
00:41:54.580 Have the title, darling.
00:41:56.200 I don't mind.
00:41:57.300 Is money coming in?
00:41:59.680 Love it.
00:42:00.220 I've had inappropriate
00:42:01.600 on both ends
00:42:02.580 male and female.
00:42:04.120 The female inappropriateness 1.00
00:42:05.540 was the bullying
00:42:06.280 the patronizing
00:42:08.420 the being weird
00:42:10.200 with other people
00:42:10.900 and the gossiping.
00:42:11.980 That's what I didn't like.
00:42:12.960 There was a lack of integrity.
00:42:14.580 Like, why are you spreading
00:42:15.620 these beautiful girls' business? 1.00
00:42:17.520 Isn't that mad?
00:42:18.240 80% of bullying
00:42:19.800 is from women?
00:42:21.100 I believe it.
00:42:21.860 When I heard the statistics
00:42:22.800 it made sense to me.
00:42:24.460 That's over 60,000
00:42:25.720 like 60,000 people
00:42:27.200 took that.
00:42:27.780 I believe that.
00:42:28.540 I genuinely believe that.
00:42:29.720 They just be weird.
00:42:32.160 But inappropriate
00:42:33.160 with the men
00:42:33.900 it's been flirting
00:42:35.000 or sometimes it's just
00:42:36.400 the inappropriateness
00:42:37.700 for me is
00:42:38.540 you're really chilling
00:42:40.300 like scratching your balls 0.99
00:42:41.800 at the top
00:42:42.420 because you're like
00:42:43.400 I'm the man
00:42:44.320 sort of thing
00:42:44.880 and I feel like
00:42:45.960 that's inappropriate.
00:42:46.340 What do you mean
00:42:46.780 chilling, scratching their...
00:42:48.340 People at the top
00:42:49.160 work like 80...
00:42:50.340 My dad is one of those CEOs.
00:42:52.700 He works 80 hours a week
00:42:53.720 my whole life.
00:42:54.480 And respect to your dad
00:42:55.660 but that's your dad.
00:42:57.480 Some people get to the top
00:42:58.800 and start chilling
00:43:00.520 and they just
00:43:01.240 like I'm not saying
00:43:02.400 your job isn't to chill
00:43:03.540 because you've worked your way
00:43:04.400 it should be smart
00:43:05.300 not harder at that point
00:43:06.400 but I mean
00:43:07.240 scratching their balls 0.84
00:43:08.100 is like taking a way
00:43:09.620 too relaxed approach.
00:43:11.540 Do you know these men
00:43:12.720 and like the 1%, 0.87
00:43:14.140 2%, 3%?
00:43:15.580 What do you mean?
00:43:16.240 Do you know them personally?
00:43:18.020 Yeah, I've worked for
00:43:19.080 just like two
00:43:19.860 but the inappropriateness
00:43:20.720 was like
00:43:21.060 one was really relaxed
00:43:22.060 and just taking drugs
00:43:22.800 drugs like
00:43:23.740 Oh yeah, drugs are right.
00:43:25.520 You're going in buddy
00:43:27.520 like hello
00:43:28.600 we have a restaurant to run
00:43:31.440 hello
00:43:32.160 and because he's the boss
00:43:33.560 and he's at the top
00:43:34.460 where I find women 0.88
00:43:35.840 to be not more scared
00:43:36.980 but they would think
00:43:37.800 in way more layers
00:43:38.940 than to do that.
00:43:40.000 Men is just like 1.00
00:43:40.560 I'm risking it for the biscuit
00:43:41.560 and that's all I have to say.
00:43:42.600 Yeah, men are more risky 0.99
00:43:43.820 I agree with you.
00:43:44.920 Even when you think about
00:43:46.240 FMCG and you go above
00:43:48.040 on a few levels
00:43:48.960 and okay
00:43:49.520 there are less women there 1.00
00:43:50.840 and then
00:43:51.580 At what?
00:43:52.480 Wait, say that again?
00:43:53.140 Sorry.
00:43:54.000 I don't know what FMCG.
00:43:55.480 Is that a British thing?
00:43:56.680 This is a British thing.
00:43:57.500 Is it like a business type?
00:43:59.300 Yeah, sorry.
00:44:00.040 FAST is an acronym.
00:44:01.220 I'm sorry
00:44:01.660 I should put like
00:44:02.520 five pound in a jar
00:44:03.680 to tell everybody.
00:44:04.660 I am the worst person
00:44:05.620 I do at work as well
00:44:06.680 and now I've done it
00:44:08.300 just in front of many people.
00:44:10.040 Fast moving consumer goods.
00:44:11.720 So you have to be able
00:44:12.560 to make decisions quickly.
00:44:14.000 You have to be innovative.
00:44:15.460 I work in that role right now.
00:44:16.860 I just feel like women 1.00
00:44:17.760 are getting a really bad
00:44:18.840 bum deal out of this.
00:44:20.240 The harder we work
00:44:21.420 the higher we go
00:44:22.340 we're still dicks
00:44:23.540 because we have to behave
00:44:24.740 in the same way
00:44:25.340 but not the same way.
00:44:26.480 Like I'm doing it
00:44:27.500 I'm living it
00:44:28.060 like I really think
00:44:28.960 it's not that deep guys
00:44:29.920 like it doesn't matter
00:44:30.680 what you have
00:44:31.460 just get on with it
00:44:32.660 JFDI
00:44:33.340 just fucking do it
00:44:34.300 like let's go.
00:44:36.160 What do you mean?
00:44:38.240 Like I just find
00:44:39.140 that this whole dichotomy
00:44:41.180 between men and women 0.90
00:44:42.140 and like
00:44:42.700 it just
00:44:43.300 if they're a bad boss
00:44:44.560 they're a bad boss. 0.82
00:44:45.720 It doesn't matter.
00:44:46.620 Well I think
00:44:47.160 what's interesting
00:44:48.220 is that women 1.00
00:44:48.960 men
00:44:49.480 most men
00:44:50.260 say they don't
00:44:50.940 have a preference
00:44:51.520 it was like 50-50
00:44:52.620 where women 0.97
00:44:53.780 say they don't
00:44:54.480 like working for women. 1.00
00:44:55.900 Yeah.
00:44:56.480 So it's
00:44:57.140 I don't know
00:44:57.960 and maybe I have
00:44:58.700 a difficulty
00:44:59.240 with personal experience
00:45:00.780 but I've had
00:45:01.940 a bad woman boss 1.00
00:45:02.980 and I've had
00:45:03.360 a bad man boss
00:45:04.560 but I've had lots
00:45:05.280 of bosses
00:45:05.660 and I've been a boss
00:45:06.700 and my personal
00:45:07.780 experience is that
00:45:08.940 if you're a dick
00:45:10.080 you're a dick 0.93
00:45:10.540 it doesn't matter
00:45:11.400 what genitalia you have 0.76
00:45:12.640 you're going to be a dick. 0.99
00:45:13.700 Okay what do you think?
00:45:15.620 Well yeah I agree
00:45:17.060 realistically on that point.
00:45:18.820 I have very limited
00:45:20.280 personal experience
00:45:21.320 but I've had
00:45:23.380 yeah both
00:45:24.360 like
00:45:25.520 realistically
00:45:26.360 my experience
00:45:27.360 the female 1.00
00:45:28.840 like on-site manager
00:45:30.380 was horrible
00:45:32.560 like personal
00:45:33.460 like going to
00:45:34.520 personal topics
00:45:35.960 but that was
00:45:37.440 on the situation
00:45:38.100 to be honest
00:45:38.900 I think it's just
00:45:39.540 dependent on the person
00:45:40.540 realistically
00:45:41.080 because there are
00:45:42.280 different experiences
00:45:43.160 from everybody here
00:45:44.140 about a male manager
00:45:46.080 being inappropriate
00:45:47.360 female manager 0.86
00:45:48.320 being inappropriate
00:45:48.980 I know we're generalising
00:45:50.280 but I just think
00:45:52.280 yeah it's dependent
00:45:53.120 on the person
00:45:53.640 realistically
00:45:54.100 my experience
00:45:55.180 my manager
00:45:58.080 was a male
00:45:58.840 he was fine
00:46:00.700 but he was in a relationship
00:46:01.560 it's very different
00:46:02.480 like
00:46:02.920 you know
00:46:04.300 scenes
00:46:05.500 but on-site
00:46:07.120 female manager 0.86
00:46:07.940 wasn't great
00:46:08.700 but it was personal
00:46:09.920 you know
00:46:10.920 she was older than me
00:46:11.920 she was jealous 1.00
00:46:13.060 in a way
00:46:13.620 of different experiences
00:46:14.700 but
00:46:15.080 I do think
00:46:16.660 if it was a different
00:46:17.520 experience
00:46:19.880 with the
00:46:20.320 yeah well
00:46:22.360 it's like
00:46:23.440 it was
00:46:24.540 yeah the experience
00:46:25.780 was very awkward
00:46:27.120 between me and her
00:46:28.560 it became personal
00:46:29.600 without me
00:46:30.360 wanting it to be at all
00:46:31.720 but
00:46:32.400 yeah
00:46:33.640 some people just
00:46:34.520 some people just
00:46:35.280 like
00:46:35.880 they don't care
00:46:37.320 sometimes they're just
00:46:38.000 going for it
00:46:38.760 hey
00:46:39.260 hey
00:46:39.320 I need you guys
00:46:40.440 to stop with the side talking
00:46:41.660 because we can hear it
00:46:42.980 in the mics
00:46:43.300 go ahead
00:46:43.680 yeah
00:46:44.160 but
00:46:44.620 realistically
00:46:45.640 my experience
00:46:46.820 is more
00:46:47.380 and obviously
00:46:47.860 my female manager 1.00
00:46:49.700 wasn't as good
00:46:50.580 as the male
00:46:51.300 however
00:46:51.660 I don't think
00:46:52.400 that can
00:46:53.020 speak for
00:46:54.200 everybody
00:46:54.840 and a general
00:46:56.200 experience
00:46:56.840 of
00:46:57.200 is male
00:46:58.700 management
00:46:59.880 better than female 1.00
00:47:01.100 you know
00:47:01.500 what I mean
00:47:01.800 okay
00:47:03.180 what about you
00:47:05.460 I mean
00:47:06.840 I don't have much
00:47:07.680 experience
00:47:08.120 but like
00:47:08.620 from what I've
00:47:09.180 experienced
00:47:09.640 I definitely prefer
00:47:10.780 like male leadership
00:47:12.280 for sure
00:47:12.760 because
00:47:13.160 I feel
00:47:14.180 sorry
00:47:15.260 I feel like
00:47:15.720 it's more of a
00:47:16.400 relaxed environment
00:47:17.540 like
00:47:18.080 with women
00:47:19.180 it's always
00:47:19.880 oh this
00:47:20.560 this and this
00:47:21.280 this and that
00:47:21.880 it's like
00:47:22.240 I don't have time
00:47:22.680 for it
00:47:22.880 we're all here
00:47:23.220 for £10.15
00:47:23.920 now we're like
00:47:24.480 we're not like
00:47:25.960 you know
00:47:26.540 much different
00:47:27.520 so like
00:47:28.000 like I said
00:47:28.420 I don't have much
00:47:28.760 experience
00:47:29.080 but I definitely
00:47:29.720 prefer male leadership
00:47:30.800 it's more laid back
00:47:31.720 we can get on
00:47:32.260 with our jobs
00:47:32.860 and that's that
00:47:33.580 do you know
00:47:34.080 what I mean