JustPearlyThings - May 23, 2023


You Won't BELIEVE What This O.F Model Said


Episode Stats

Length

15 minutes

Words per Minute

204.50984

Word Count

3,132

Sentence Count

298

Misogynist Sentences

5

Hate Speech Sentences

4


Summary

In this episode, I sit down with my best friend to talk about what it means to be in love with someone you care deeply for and how to navigate a non-monogamous relationship. We talk about boundaries, what it's like being in a relationship with someone who lives far far far away, and the challenges of dating someone you love deeply.


Transcript

00:00:00.400 Okay. All right. So, I mean, for those of you who said you're single, what, I mean, in today's day and age, what does being single really mean? You know?
00:00:11.440 So, you said you're single, correct?
00:00:13.600 Yeah. I'm single. I'm unmarried. And non-exclusive. You know, not really even a situationship. I mean, I have someone I love very dearly who lives in the UK.
00:00:25.880 Okay. And don't really know what the future looks like. But when we see each other, we are very much like a relationship dynamic. But outside of that, I don't ask his business.
00:00:36.460 Wait. So, hold on. Are you in a relationship with this guy?
00:00:39.260 I love this person. And I think, like, I mean, like, what's a relationship? Like, I'm in a relationship with my best friend. You know? Like, these are all relationships. It's just, am I free to date? Yes.
00:00:49.040 Yes. Do I have someone that I love that I consider a potential future, like, exclusive partner? Yes.
00:00:57.240 Is he seeing other women?
00:00:58.920 I think so, a bit.
00:01:00.760 Are you seeing other guys?
00:01:02.100 I was, but not anymore. I'm not really interested in, like, actually dating.
00:01:08.020 Do you want to have kids one day?
00:01:09.500 I do. I think I do. I think so.
00:01:12.220 I mean, I wouldn't even, he wouldn't, I wouldn't be talking to him or about him like this if I didn't see the potential for that.
00:01:17.800 That's really wise.
00:01:19.220 Yeah. Well, you know, we wise up eventually. Hopefully. Or we don't.
00:01:24.600 But, I mean, he lives in the UK and you guys don't really have any, doesn't sound like you have an established understanding, really, in terms of the boundaries of your relationship.
00:01:36.860 No, and that's kind of, like, there's a beauty to that. I mean, there are times when I, like, subscribe to the social norms where I'm like, oh, shit, like, do I need to have him committed to me?
00:01:45.900 And, like, you know, all these things. And I'm like, do I even want him to be committed to me? Am I ready to be committed to him?
00:01:51.140 I don't know. I don't know. Like, I can't necessarily answer those questions. So, right now.
00:01:55.660 So, I mean, taking it, taking time, like, really developing the connection, like, you know, establishing what the values are, really establishing whether this is, like, a future father of my kids.
00:02:04.660 And if he is, then, like, you know, taking it to the next level. I think, ultimately, I do long for an exclusively monogamous relationship.
00:02:13.760 But, I don't know. I've always been really progressive, really open-minded about, like, ownership and possession.
00:02:20.380 Okay. But you said you were single, but you're currently in love with a man in the UK.
00:02:25.880 I said I love him very dearly.
00:02:27.900 Is there a difference between loving someone dearly and being, you're not in love with him?
00:02:32.900 You know, I think, I mean, God, I'm in love with so many aspects of him.
00:02:35.700 I haven't really, I'm pretty guarded. And this person lives, like, long distance, right?
00:02:40.460 So, the nature of, like, the interactions that we have are, like, short-lived, couple, you know, three weeks a month at a time in these gorgeous, exotic places.
00:02:49.700 And it's not necessarily, like, you know, a great way. I mean, I don't know. I think I've always been a skeptic about, like, well, how do you know you're in love, you know?
00:02:58.460 Is he a wealthy guy?
00:03:01.600 I'm not dating him because of his wealth.
00:03:03.840 But is he, he's...
00:03:05.640 I mean, it's all relative, but I wouldn't define him as, like, a rich guy. Like, financially rich.
00:03:12.500 Okay.
00:03:12.820 He's really very, very highly educated. Like, he's, like, upper class.
00:03:20.680 Is he, like, a royal or something?
00:03:23.140 I met him in a really cool place. He's, you know, like, not necessarily no.
00:03:30.220 Can some... Whose glasses are those?
00:03:32.740 No.
00:03:33.540 Yes?
00:03:33.880 No glasses.
00:03:34.360 Do you want them on?
00:03:35.180 Put them somewhere not on the table, please.
00:03:39.160 That works. Okay.
00:03:40.220 Um, so, you're in love with him. You see him how frequently?
00:03:46.400 I love him so much. I love him very dearly. He's one of my greatest, like, one of the... I've loved him more than I... I mean, we... our relationship is so stemmed and, like, founded in friendship.
00:03:56.200 Do you want more with him?
00:04:00.480 I think so. I think so. I mean, I think so.
00:04:04.100 Have you had that conversation with him?
00:04:05.740 We did early on in the relationship.
00:04:07.980 What does he say?
00:04:08.620 Um, I mean, early on, we were pretty, like, we met at a wedding, and we were, like, there was love in the air, okay?
00:04:15.900 Like, a really romantic setting.
00:04:18.680 And, um, and I was really, at first, it was, like, you know, it was, like, a week-long wedding in Pakistan.
00:04:23.140 And we, like, every night at the end of the night, we kept on gravitating toward each other.
00:04:26.960 And we just had these really, really wonderful, um, deep, like, conversations.
00:04:31.000 And I didn't really see any, like, I felt platonic friendship.
00:04:35.340 But at the end of the week, he, like, came over and he put his, like, hand on my leg while we were talking.
00:04:40.000 I was like, oh.
00:04:41.300 I was like, oh, he's, like...
00:04:42.380 You got the tingle?
00:04:43.280 He was the instigator.
00:04:43.960 You got the tingle?
00:04:44.860 And I, exactly.
00:04:45.700 And I was like, am I into this?
00:04:47.120 And I was like, I'm not necessarily not into this.
00:04:49.320 But it was, it took me by surprise.
00:04:50.760 Because the whole time, I had my eye on someone else at the wedding.
00:04:53.400 Because I was like, oh, you know?
00:04:56.000 I was like, yeah.
00:04:56.940 But, um, I ended up really developing this connection.
00:04:59.880 I even remember saying to someone there, I was like, okay, I don't know which guy it is.
00:05:03.180 This is, like, midway through the week.
00:05:04.320 I was like, with this guy, the one I'm talking about, the connection has grown.
00:05:08.180 With this other guy, it's kind of faded the more I've seen.
00:05:10.460 It was, like, attraction.
00:05:11.700 And the more I see, the less attracted I am.
00:05:13.820 And my friend was like, well, obviously, it's the one with whom the attraction and connection grows.
00:05:19.440 And it's just continued to grow.
00:05:22.300 I have, like, a deep respect and appreciation and admiration for him.
00:05:25.740 How long have you been dating him, I guess you could say?
00:05:29.420 Right?
00:05:31.360 January 2021.
00:05:33.900 Okay, so two and a half years about.
00:05:36.200 Is it you?
00:05:37.000 Because it sounds like you're both, it seems, from what you're saying, it sounds like you're both interested.
00:05:40.600 Do you think it's you or him that's kind of pumping the brakes?
00:05:43.320 Well, okay, here's what it is.
00:05:44.400 He's come to the U.S. and he's like, fuck that shit.
00:05:46.400 He's like, hell no.
00:05:47.360 He's like, no, not going to happen.
00:05:48.400 And I haven't spent enough time in the U.K.
00:05:49.900 So I mentioned to Pearl, who lives in London, that that's what I'm asking.
00:05:53.400 I'm like, how do you like it?
00:05:54.040 She's like, no.
00:05:54.980 I am moving.
00:05:56.580 I am leaving.
00:05:57.620 And I like the son, right?
00:05:59.320 And so he's pretty, like, fixed.
00:06:00.920 He has an established life in London.
00:06:02.560 Do you think if you went to see him, like, that you guys would date if you, like, moved to him?
00:06:07.200 I think so.
00:06:07.840 If I was in London, like, yeah, I think we'd be together.
00:06:10.140 Has he said that?
00:06:10.860 Um, I haven't asked.
00:06:15.860 But, you know, and I don't know that it would be fair to ask unless I moved there and we spent time there, like, you know, like long, you know, a longer, you know, period of time.
00:06:23.660 Because everything's been in snippets for us about a month at a time.
00:06:26.300 So you've been dating him for since January of 2021.
00:06:29.980 During that time period, have you been seeing any other guys?
00:06:33.100 Yeah.
00:06:33.340 Oh, yeah.
00:06:33.620 Oh, yeah?
00:06:35.920 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:06:36.480 That was very enthusiastic.
00:06:37.920 Oh, yeah.
00:06:38.160 The first year of that, um, I was still just kind of, like, carrying on with, like, like, dating.
00:06:43.880 And I was dating, like, I was dating, like, fully dating, like, multiple, like, all right, dinner tonight, dinner tomorrow, you know.
00:06:50.880 Now, I'm not dating.
00:06:52.940 I'm not really interested.
00:06:53.920 How frequently do you guys talk?
00:06:55.400 Like, on a daily basis, weekly, or?
00:06:57.800 Several times a week.
00:06:59.080 Okay.
00:06:59.600 Do you text or, like, call?
00:07:01.320 Alternate, like, call once a week.
00:07:02.960 Yeah.
00:07:03.240 A lot of texting.
00:07:05.260 Okay.
00:07:06.000 Well, maybe we'll come back to that.
00:07:09.380 In your Twitter bio, you state that I am not for sale, but my nudes are.
00:07:14.080 That's, that's, that is, yeah, attention.
00:07:16.240 Can you say that one more time?
00:07:18.060 They're for sale on OnlyFans.
00:07:20.100 That's a hell of a marketing tagline.
00:07:21.800 Do you like it?
00:07:22.640 No.
00:07:23.160 I appreciate it.
00:07:24.260 Well, I, I, do you want to know why I put that up recently?
00:07:26.860 It's because I had an offer made.
00:07:29.180 Dubai?
00:07:29.500 Yeah.
00:07:29.900 Yeah.
00:07:30.200 And I was really bothered by it.
00:07:32.880 But, to be honest with you, I was really bothered by it.
00:07:35.920 Not for, okay, not really.
00:07:37.380 I mean, I don't judge.
00:07:38.560 There's a lot of escorting that happens in these industries, as we all well know.
00:07:43.040 But, it was, it was the approach, and it was also, it was also the fact that I'd heard
00:07:48.660 from a friend recently about a traumatic experience, and she's a high-earning, big-name porn star.
00:07:54.540 And she had a very traumatic experience escorting, and she is in therapy for it, and it just broke
00:07:59.360 my heart.
00:08:00.560 And, yeah.
00:08:01.660 Open it up, please.
00:08:02.800 Um, but, yeah, so, yeah, so, I'm not for sale, but my nudes are, are very much for sale.
00:08:11.000 Okay, really quick question on that.
00:08:12.300 I suppose I can open this up to the entire panel.
00:08:14.340 So, there's not, like, a price?
00:08:19.260 Whenever, whenever I started, whenever, like, 10 mil.
00:08:22.640 Absolutely not.
00:08:23.160 Do you see a barcode?
00:08:24.300 Oh, I'm sorry.
00:08:24.880 Do you see a barcode anywhere?
00:08:26.580 I have to ask an honest question.
00:08:28.120 Can I ask you, as someone who, like...
00:08:29.680 A little closer.
00:08:30.400 Okay, can I ask you, um, as someone who just left porn, why are you offended that someone
00:08:35.660 would ask you that?
00:08:36.400 Like, because as someone who went into, I knew exactly the kind of treatment I would get,
00:08:40.060 so anytime I got asked those, as, I guess I could say, stupid questions, I knew it came
00:08:44.040 with the price.
00:08:44.860 Do you know what I mean?
00:08:45.420 So, I would never be offended that someone saw me as an object when I'm putting myself on display
00:08:49.960 as an object.
00:08:51.140 Okay, okay.
00:08:51.700 They are very valid, and, um, and I think that, like, I think what offended me is honestly
00:08:57.560 the fact that I, it was probably a projection, because I considered it, because I was a good
00:09:01.840 price, and I was like, you know, so is there a price?
00:09:05.240 Well, I think that's why I was like, wait a second, you know, it was, it put things in
00:09:08.200 perspective, but I was offended because this guy was fucking name-dropping left and right,
00:09:12.100 all of these actresses that he works with, and I'm like, you know what, I don't need to
00:09:15.420 know who you work with.
00:09:16.320 I'd appreciate it, and in fact, if you'd show them respect by having some discretion.
00:09:19.680 So, I was offended by the whole experience, but not, like, the approach itself.
00:09:23.500 Well, okay, look, so just to open it up to the entire panel, um, and this is related to
00:09:28.960 what you have in your Twitter bio.
00:09:31.220 Do you have a price?
00:09:33.380 Like, for me, dude, if someone offered me 10 mil, I'm taking that shit.
00:09:36.240 Well, it's like a house.
00:09:36.900 My house might not be for sale, but if someone comes up and is like, yo, fucking 500 million
00:09:40.840 dollars, you know what I mean?
00:09:42.320 Like, it's not for sale, but, you know, so.
00:09:44.960 It would depend on the person, too.
00:09:47.580 If somebody's really offering me 10 million dollars to buy me, it would really depend on
00:09:52.100 the person.
00:09:53.060 Okay.
00:09:53.460 But I also hate the fact that men think that they can, like, own you.
00:09:56.020 That's why I like your Twitter bio.
00:09:57.500 Not own you.
00:09:58.080 I'm just talking, like, sex.
00:10:00.200 Like, sex one time.
00:10:02.420 I mean, in reality, porn is technically that.
00:10:08.020 Working for Pornhub is technically that.
00:10:11.500 Getting paid for sex.
00:10:12.680 Is technically that.
00:10:15.160 But is it on the men for buying it, or is it on you for putting it on OnlyFans or Pornhub?
00:10:22.000 It's been, porn has been.
00:10:25.980 But, yeah, but, like.
00:10:26.800 I think it's on both.
00:10:27.380 I don't understand why you would hate, like, a man owning you, if that's what you're selling.
00:10:34.080 She didn't say that, though.
00:10:35.160 I'm owning a picture of her or a video of her.
00:10:37.880 Yeah, that's owning the first strategy.
00:10:39.760 I thought that was what you said.
00:10:40.700 Here, let's just go around the table.
00:10:42.160 So, you get, one, is there a price where you'd be like, I'll sell sex for that price?
00:10:50.520 I mean, I guess.
00:10:51.520 I'd love to say no, but at the end of the day, if somebody came up to me with 10 million
00:10:55.980 dollars cash and said, have sex with me, here's, like, I don't know.
00:10:59.940 It's hard to turn down.
00:11:00.300 I don't know what I would do.
00:11:01.640 What about you?
00:11:02.080 Absolutely not.
00:11:02.680 Wouldn't do it.
00:11:03.640 10 mil.
00:11:04.480 No.
00:11:05.360 Morally.
00:11:05.960 I know my morals aren't completely there.
00:11:07.460 Like, I do OnlyFans, but, like, I don't think I could get myself to say, I let somebody
00:11:11.100 buy me for a night.
00:11:12.080 That's set for life money.
00:11:14.620 No way.
00:11:15.360 You don't have to work again.
00:11:17.100 But you have to look at yourself in the mirror again.
00:11:20.100 And that's more important to me, to be honest.
00:11:21.800 Like, I've always said since I, even when I started, I started stripping when I was, like,
00:11:26.140 18 years old.
00:11:26.900 I blew out the birthday candles and was wrapping my shit around the pole.
00:11:29.440 But I did always say, like, to customers, I sell the view of my body, but not my body
00:11:35.240 itself.
00:11:35.900 If you can find a barcode, there you go.
00:11:39.120 Word.
00:11:39.760 But I'm not going to find one.
00:11:40.840 Word.
00:11:41.720 Okay.
00:11:42.000 I'm tired of working, so hell fucking yeah.
00:11:47.000 I'm sick of this shit.
00:11:48.360 Let's go.
00:11:49.100 And it's only one night, too?
00:11:50.620 I ain't got to, like, make a dick appointment every week?
00:11:53.340 Come on now, baby.
00:11:54.380 Let's do it.
00:11:56.000 Holla.
00:11:56.820 Bless.
00:11:57.340 Holla.
00:11:58.320 Let's go.
00:11:59.260 Okay.
00:12:00.920 For me, I feel like for the sake of my dignity and out of respect for whoever.
00:12:05.580 Tilt the mic down towards you just a tad.
00:12:07.520 Like this?
00:12:07.980 Yeah, that's good.
00:12:08.460 I feel like because of my dignity and my morals, I guess, I couldn't see myself setting
00:12:13.640 a price to do something like that.
00:12:16.020 And as I said, like, out of respect to the person I potentially might get with for a future,
00:12:20.540 I wouldn't want somebody to be able to say, oh, yeah, I paid for her for the night.
00:12:24.360 I just, I can't see myself doing that.
00:12:26.020 Ten mil, though?
00:12:27.000 And I know, like, ten million's a lot of money, but, like, at the end of the day, it's, like,
00:12:31.200 money isn't everything.
00:12:31.800 Are you waiting until marriage?
00:12:33.620 Yeah.
00:12:34.620 Oh, we didn't even get into that, but...
00:12:36.220 Good for you.
00:12:37.340 Okay.
00:12:39.020 Yeah, there is no amount of money.
00:12:40.280 Absolutely not.
00:12:40.740 Ten mil?
00:12:41.200 No.
00:12:41.460 What if the husband gives the green light?
00:12:42.900 He would absolutely not.
00:12:45.400 Husbands, confirm or deny.
00:12:46.320 Do you give the green light?
00:12:47.440 Yeah, that is too precious of a gift, I believe.
00:12:49.400 I think it's wrong to buy a woman's body, that's why it's, like...
00:12:51.920 Sure.
00:12:52.420 Yeah.
00:12:53.020 Zoe, what about you?
00:12:54.220 Not anymore.
00:12:54.940 If you asked me six months ago, hell yeah, but not anymore.
00:12:58.000 I'm doing, like, better things.
00:12:59.040 Ten mil?
00:13:00.120 Nah.
00:13:00.700 Twenty mil?
00:13:01.240 Not anymore.
00:13:01.760 Hundred mil.
00:13:02.020 I wish you would have caught me six months ago.
00:13:03.920 I would have said, hell yeah, but right now...
00:13:05.760 That's not the offering.
00:13:06.620 I'm just throwing out numbers.
00:13:09.180 Pearl.
00:13:09.860 No, I'm okay.
00:13:11.220 Ten mil?
00:13:11.960 Nah, I mean, I just...
00:13:13.200 I feel like if I was that desperate for money, I'd just go live in my parents' house.
00:13:17.440 You know?
00:13:18.140 Okay, all right.
00:13:18.900 I have a story that might be a little entertaining for that, like what you just said.
00:13:23.240 So at the strip club one time, I actually did get offered 5K, which is low amount, but
00:13:28.380 it was only for him to watch me finger myself, and I turned that down, and he had the 5K in
00:13:34.280 his hand, and I still said no.
00:13:36.680 So he wouldn't have touched me at all.
00:13:38.920 Can I make a point, though?
00:13:40.200 Yeah.
00:13:40.860 Go for it.
00:13:41.120 What's different about that and doing OnlyFans?
00:13:43.360 That's a good question.
00:13:43.980 Well, they can own a picture or a video of whatever I'm comfortable putting on the
00:13:49.560 internet, but I wouldn't meet with someone for money.
00:13:54.720 That's the difference.
00:13:55.760 Like, you can own the photo of me, the video of me getting fucked by somebody I would consensually
00:14:00.540 fuck in my free time, but definitely not like my body, my energy, that's for me to distribute
00:14:07.400 as much as I want, also as little as I want to whoever I want.
00:14:11.600 But have you ever sold a video of you doing that for $5,000?
00:14:15.040 A video of me fingering myself?
00:14:16.760 Yeah.
00:14:16.980 Sort of for a lot cheaper than that.
00:14:18.600 But that's kind of like my point.
00:14:19.720 But the video, but that's them, but that's like not in person, because if you say yes
00:14:24.620 to one person in the strip club.
00:14:25.640 But that's not just a live photo, a live video.
00:14:27.600 Yeah.
00:14:27.740 Yeah, but a difference there.
00:14:28.620 Yeah, like what's the difference?
00:14:29.080 If you do that in the strip club, though, that guy is going to go out and tell his buddies,
00:14:34.700 and then he's going to, everybody else in the strip club is going to be like, oh.
00:14:37.960 I don't disagree that doing that stuff.
00:14:39.240 And then that puts you in danger.
00:14:40.820 Now you're making like $30,000 instead of that.
00:14:42.920 That puts you in danger, though.
00:14:44.500 I don't know.
00:14:45.100 That puts you in danger.
00:14:46.080 I don't disagree with you, though, doing it inside the strip club is-
00:14:50.080 And that takes out of another girl's pocket.
00:14:52.200 That's just not right.
00:14:53.320 It ruins it for everyone.
00:14:55.180 Yeah.
00:14:56.500 Audio is delayed?
00:14:59.200 It's delayed?
00:14:59.940 Wait, what?
00:15:00.900 A lot of people are saying it, or-
00:15:02.720 As many of you know, I was just banned on TikTok, and we are demonetized on a daily basis
00:15:08.780 on this platform.
00:15:10.600 If you want to help, please consider sending a super thanks below.
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