Leo D.M.J. Aurini - Fireproof (2008)： Unpacking the Feminism

00:00:00.000 Music

00:00:10.000 Music

00:00:12.000 Music

00:00:16.000 Music

00:00:20.000 Music

00:00:24.000 Music

00:00:28.000 Hey folks, this is my review of the film Fireproof.

00:00:33.000 It's been previously reviewed around this corner of the internet by The Becloff, who requested this video, as well as by Dallrock, and there are links down to their articles below.

00:00:43.000 Now this film, if you haven't heard of it, is a Christian pro-marriage film.

00:00:50.000 It tries to offer advice to help fix marriages, but at the core of things is a terrible, awful lie that completely undermines the entire premise of the movie, and that's primarily what this review is going to be all about.

00:01:05.000 But that said, taking a page from Confused Matthew, if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.

00:01:11.000 So I'm going to start this review by saying something nice.

00:01:14.000 Then, I'm going to be mean for a long time, but I'm going to finish off with being nice again.

00:01:19.000 Because the intent behind this movie was not evil.

00:01:23.000 It wasn't trying to wrap a poison in a candy shell.

00:01:27.000 It was blindness.

00:01:29.000 It was error that led them into making this terrible mistake.

00:01:34.000 And, furthermore, I'm not going to be doing a film critics review of it.

00:01:40.000 Like, listen, the movie has problems.

00:01:42.000 If the creators, if you're listening to this, you know it has problems, you've heard it all before.

00:01:47.000 And I'm just going to comment briefly that with any creative endeavor, be it writing or film, you need to cut, cut, cut.

00:01:55.000 You need to take those beautiful words that you put on the page and throw them in the dustbin.

00:01:59.000 Because they're not needed.

00:02:00.000 They're not necessary.

00:02:01.000 The movie's too long.

00:02:02.000 You should have cut it, but you know that already.

00:02:05.000 Overall, aside from the length, I actually think it was very well done for the budget and all of that.

00:02:14.000 Now, let's get started with the review.

00:02:17.000 First off, it, the core of it, the message it's trying to get across is actually a very, very good message,

00:02:26.000 which is summed up in this scene halfway through the movie.

00:02:29.000 Caleb, if I were to ask you why you're so frustrated with Catherine, what would you say?

00:02:36.000 She's stubborn.

00:02:42.000 She makes everything difficult for me.

00:02:45.000 She's ungrateful. 0.71

00:02:47.000 She's constantly griping about something.

00:02:50.000 Has she thanked you for anything you've done the last 20 days?

00:02:53.000 No!

00:02:54.000 And you'd think after I washed the car, I've changed the oil, do the dishes, cleaned the house,

00:02:58.000 that she would try to show me a little bit of gratitude.

00:03:02.000 But she doesn't.

00:03:04.000 In fact, when I come home, she makes me feel like I'm an enemy.

00:03:08.000 I'm not even welcome in my own home, Dad.

00:03:10.000 That is what really ticks me off.

00:03:12.000 Dad, for the last three weeks, I have bent over backwards for her.

00:03:16.000 I have tried to demonstrate that I still care about this relationship.

00:03:20.000 I bought her flowers, which she threw away.

00:03:23.000 I have taken her insults and her sarcasm, but last night was it.

00:03:27.000 I made dinner for her.

00:03:28.000 I did everything I could to demonstrate that I care about her,

00:03:32.000 to show value for her, and she spat in my face. 1.00

00:03:35.000 She does not deserve this, Dad.

00:03:37.000 I am not doing it anymore.

00:03:39.000 How am I supposed to show love to somebody over and over and over

00:03:43.000 who constantly rejects me?

00:03:50.000 That's a good question.

00:04:01.000 Dad, that is not what I'm doing.

00:04:04.000 Isn't it?

00:04:06.000 No.

00:04:08.000 Dad, that is not what this is about.

00:04:10.000 Son, you just asked me,

00:04:12.000 how can someone show love over and over again when they're constantly rejected?

00:04:17.000 Caleb, the answer is, you can't love her because you can't give her what you don't have.

00:04:24.000 Folks, that message is brilliant.

00:04:27.000 A marriage is a supernatural thing.

00:04:30.000 Okay, it doesn't make any sense to get married.

00:04:33.000 You know, it makes far more sense just to have casual couplings until you get sick of one another. 0.89

00:04:38.000 Actually trying to build a love that's greater than the two of you is impossible in the purely material world.

00:04:48.000 You need faith.

00:04:50.000 And both as the wife and the husband.

00:04:52.000 You know, as the saying goes, the husband needs to love his wife as Christ loves the church.

00:04:58.000 Even though they're imperfect.

00:05:01.000 Even though Christians are not obedient and are constantly sinning, Christ still loves the church.

00:05:08.000 And as a husband with a wife that's getting out of line, yeah, you need to keep loving her.

00:05:14.000 You need to be that rock for her.

00:05:17.000 You need to give yourself to the marriage.

00:05:20.000 When you make that vow, it is a serious commitment.

00:05:24.000 But it goes both ways.

00:05:27.000 It's not just husbands that need to devote themselves to their wives.

00:05:32.000 Wives need to devote themselves to their husbands. 1.00

00:05:36.000 The man needs to always cherish his wife, always protect her, always provide for him.

00:05:42.000 But women, wives, need to obey their husbands. 1.00

00:05:47.000 See, where the man leads the marriage by being that stalwart hero.

00:05:54.000 That even though his wife is imperfect, even though his wife is disobedient, he continues to lead.

00:06:01.000 A woman with a disobedient husband, she needs to be even more of a woman. 1.00

00:06:08.000 She needs to be gentle, graceful, beautiful, and woo him back into being the husband that he should have been.

00:06:18.000 Not codependence.

00:06:20.000 Codependence is encouraging them to keep doing what they're doing.

00:06:24.000 What you need to do is be a faithful wife or husband to them.

00:06:29.000 And you'll note I didn't say spouse.

00:06:34.000 So that bit of advice was absolutely beautiful.

00:06:37.000 And if the whole movie, if it just weren't so blind to that one little thing, it would have been wonderful.

00:06:45.000 But that blindness, that one bit of falsehood, ruins things.

00:06:50.000 So, let's jump into the narrative.

00:06:54.000 We start with a young married couple, Caleb and Catherine.

00:06:59.000 And they are basically roommates.

00:07:03.000 They've been through the marriage ceremony, but they're a couple of atheists.

00:07:06.000 They treat it no differently than dating.

00:07:09.000 Except that they moved in together and they have a few bills that they share. 1.00

00:07:13.000 And quite frankly, they're both acting like assholes. 1.00

00:07:21.000 You have breakfast already? 1.00

00:07:22.000 Yes.

00:07:24.000 What'd you eat?

00:07:25.000 I had the last bagel and a yogurt.

00:07:35.000 Are you planning on making a grocery trip soon?

00:07:38.000 Caleb, you work 24 hours and then you're off for 48.

00:07:41.000 You've got more time to go than I do.

00:07:43.000 Caleb certainly could have been gentler with his wife.

00:07:46.000 But his wife also could have bought the bloody groceries. 0.99

00:07:49.000 He's working full time as a firefighter, which involves like multiple day shifts where he sleeps at the fire station.

00:07:55.000 Whereas she is an empowered career woman doing some sort of HR nonsense at a hospital. 1.00

00:08:02.000 Again, she's not a nurse. 1.00

00:08:03.000 She's not a doctor.

00:08:04.000 She's just a woman that wanders around in a power suit feeling self-important. 1.00

00:08:09.000 Hey Tasha.

00:08:10.000 Oh, hey Kat.

00:08:11.000 Just saw you on TV.

00:08:12.000 Looking good.

00:08:13.000 And again, it's completely optional.

00:08:16.000 Remember what she said about the boat.

00:08:18.000 You just can't expect me to work every day and still get the groceries while you sit at home looking at trash on the internet and dreaming about getting your boat.

00:08:25.000 You chose to take this job and no one said you had to work full time.

00:08:29.000 We need the income, especially since you took away a third of your salary saving for a boat we don't need.

00:08:34.000 You've got $24,000 in savings, but we have things in our house that need fixing.

00:08:38.000 Like what?

00:08:39.000 The back door needs to be painted, the yard needs better landscaping, and I keep telling you I want to put more shelves in the closet.

00:08:45.000 Now we're supposed to think that Caleb is really greedy for buying this boat, but let's rewind a little bit here.

00:08:52.000 Keep in mind, Caleb has already afforded the house.

00:08:57.000 You know, everything, all the bills are covered.

00:09:00.000 She didn't need to go work full time. 0.93

00:09:02.000 She's working full time because it's part of the whole feminist self-empowerment fantasy. 1.00

00:09:07.000 I'm as good as a man.

00:09:09.000 And she is refusing to do her wifely duty. 1.00

00:09:12.000 And so him buying a boat with the excess funds that he's saved up, and again, he's not buying this boat on credit, folks.

00:09:21.000 He is saving up money and then purchasing it.

00:09:24.000 He's the hallmark of a responsible man that's earning more than enough money to support his wife and take care of her. 1.00

00:09:33.000 He's, yeah, he's being a bit of a jerk. 0.99

00:09:36.000 But she's not buying the groceries when it would be easy for her to swing by the grocery store at the end of the day. 0.99

00:09:43.000 So, yeah, he could be kinder, she could try doing her job. 1.00

00:09:47.000 They're both acting like selfish idiots. 1.00

00:09:50.000 But ultimately, she really doesn't have anything to complain about. 1.00

00:09:54.000 You know, he's fulfilling the letter of the contract, and that's all it is to them, isn't it?

00:10:00.000 But as if that's not bad enough, then we're subjected to this scene.

00:10:04.000 Why do you have to make everything so difficult?

00:10:10.000 Oh, I'm making everything difficult?

00:10:12.000 Seems to me like I'm the one carrying the weight around here while you're off doing your own thing.

00:10:15.000 Excuse me? I'm the one out there working to pay this mortgage, and I pay for both of the cars.

00:10:20.000 Yeah, and that's all you do. I pay all of our bills with my salary.

00:10:23.000 Which you agreed to do. That's fair.

00:10:25.000 Because you care more about saving for your stupid boat and pleasing yourself than you ever did about me. 1.00

00:10:31.000 Shut up! I'm sick of you! You disrespectful, ungrateful, selfish woman! 1.00

00:10:38.000 I'm not selfish. 1.00

00:10:39.000 How dare you say that to me! You constantly nag me and you drain the life out of me! 0.82

00:10:44.000 I'm tired of it! If you can't give me the respect I deserve, look at me!

00:10:49.000 Then what's the point of this marriage?

00:10:55.000 Oh my god! We're supposed to have, oh no! Domestic violence! Oh no! 0.99

00:11:02.000 Except he is not a violent man. He's hot-tempered, yes.

00:11:08.000 He's also young. And he's in a very dangerous and trying occupation.

00:11:13.000 But that scene right there, you're supposed to feel so sorry for the widow woman who was nagging him.

00:11:21.000 Who was being just as emotionally vicious, just as nasty.

00:11:25.000 And he doesn't hit her. Instead, he goes out in the backyard and does this.

00:11:30.000 Mr. Rudolph?

00:11:45.000 Mr. Rudolph?

00:12:02.000 Mr. Rudolph?

00:12:03.000 So, yes. Both of these people are acting very selfish. They're not devoting themselves to the marriage the way they should be.

00:12:10.000 And yet the movie keeps taking her side.

00:12:13.000 The next scene involves a conversation amongst both their groups of friends about what's going on.

00:12:20.000 And it is just beyond striking to me that the filmmakers could write and film this scene without seeing the stark differences.

00:12:28.000 I mean, just look at these clips.

00:12:30.000 Honey, I agree with you. You gotta get out. He don't deserve you.

00:12:34.000 You can say that again. A real man's gotta be a hero to his wife before he could be to anybody else.

00:12:38.000 But he ain't a real man.

00:12:39.000 Catherine, do you need a place to stay?

00:12:41.000 I can't imagine living in the same house with that man.

00:12:43.000 It's respect. That's the issue. That's the reason our marriage is failing.

00:12:47.000 She shows me no respect at all.

00:12:49.000 You know, he probably thinks...

00:12:50.000 Our marriage has been fine until this year. Now, all of a sudden, she goes off the deep end.

00:12:55.000 Do you really think this happened all of a sudden?

00:12:58.000 You know, he doesn't understand my needs. I feel like we are completely and totally...

00:13:03.000 Incompatible. She's probably whining to her friends, making me sound like a criminal. 0.99

00:13:08.000 I can see them all right now crying, having some sort of group hug.

00:13:11.000 It's gonna be okay, sweetie. It's gonna be alright. You'll get through this.

00:13:17.000 So, Caleb's a bit childish.

00:13:19.000 Alright, he's not being the sort of man, the sort of husband that he really ought to be.

00:13:23.000 But Catherine is just completely self-centered. 1.00

00:13:28.000 All of her female friends, that little cat circle of viciousness, 1.00

00:13:33.000 is just encouraging her to be the nastiest, most self-centered, most unempathetic wife she possibly could. 1.00

00:13:41.000 Now, it's at this point that the movie cuts away for one of its excellent action sequences. 0.79

00:13:48.000 Two, three! 1.00

00:13:54.000 Again! One, two, three! 0.97

00:14:00.000 One, two, three! 0.98

00:14:04.000 One, two, three! 0.98

00:14:05.000 One, two, three! 0.98

00:14:23.000 Mmm, that's some good patriotism.

00:14:26.000 Are you okay?

00:14:28.000 Cam, I just needed a minute.

00:14:31.000 One thing the movie does very well is its action sequences.

00:14:38.000 So, let's recap.

00:14:40.000 At this point, we've established that both Caleb and Catherine are rather childish.

00:14:47.000 They don't take their commitments to one another seriously. 0.91

00:14:50.000 They're both very selfish.

00:14:52.000 But Caleb, at this point, has gone to his friends for advice.

00:14:57.000 Frustrated with her, yes.

00:14:59.000 Complaining about her, yes.

00:15:01.000 But ultimately still devoted to her.

00:15:03.000 Whereas she has gone to her cat circle,

00:15:06.000 and they have done nothing but badmouth him and rip him down

00:15:09.000 and encourage her to dissolve the marriage.

00:15:11.000 And sure enough, right afterwards, she files for divorce.

00:15:16.000 What does Caleb do?

00:15:25.000 Well, he goes to his father for advice.

00:15:28.000 And his father offers him a book of 40 days, 40 steps,

00:15:34.000 something to do every day to try and re-romance his wife.

00:15:39.000 Now, apparently this is based upon an actual book.

00:15:42.000 I can't tell you if that book's any good.

00:15:45.000 Some of the advice is pretty switched on.

00:15:48.000 Other bits I find very questionable.

00:15:51.000 But he commits himself to try and become the husband

00:15:57.000 that would deserve a good wife. 1.00

00:16:00.000 And this is excellent.

00:16:01.000 This is commendable.

00:16:03.000 And then this happens.

00:16:06.000 PORNOGRAPHY!

00:16:20.000 Did you clear your history?

00:16:25.000 What?

00:16:27.000 Did you wipe the websites off so nobody would see where you've been?

00:16:31.000 You see, this is the part of the movie that most Christians focus on so much.

00:16:37.000 That the pornography was destroying their marriage.

00:16:41.000 Now, don't get me wrong.

00:16:43.000 If you're married to a beautiful woman,

00:16:45.000 you have absolutely no business looking at pornography.

00:16:48.000 In fact, if you're single,

00:16:50.000 it's probably a bad idea for you to look at pornography, period.

00:16:54.000 It is very addictive, habit-forming, and it's unrealistic.

00:17:00.000 Okay?

00:17:01.000 You're gonna waste all of your energy focusing on that instead of real women. 1.00

00:17:06.000 And when you're in a long-term relationship,

00:17:08.000 when you're in a marriage,

00:17:10.000 you need to re-romance the other partner.

00:17:13.000 You know, both man and wife need to come together as frequently as possible. 0.96

00:17:19.000 I mean, it's right there in the Bible telling you to have lots of sex. 0.97

00:17:23.000 Go look it up. 0.99

00:17:24.000 I'm not kidding.

00:17:26.000 So you have no business looking at pornography whatsoever. 1.00

00:17:30.000 You should be sleeping with your wife. 1.00

00:17:32.000 Sex is the glue that holds marriages together. 1.00

00:17:36.000 However, 0.89

00:17:38.000 why was Caleb looking at this pornography?

00:17:42.000 Do you think that this woman... 1.00

00:17:44.000 I didn't know doctors cared about fashion. 0.80

00:17:47.000 Well, we have to keep up with the attractive fashions

00:17:49.000 that public relations employees wear.

00:17:51.000 I see.

00:17:53.000 Well, since there's only one person in that category,

00:17:56.000 I'm sure she'd feel honored.

00:17:57.000 She should.

00:17:58.000 She's pretty amazing.

00:18:02.000 Was making herself available to him on the regular?

00:18:05.000 Or did she get headaches?

00:18:07.000 Or did she have an important meeting in the morning?

00:18:10.000 Or did she...

00:18:11.000 No indication is given whatsoever that it was the pornography

00:18:20.000 that led Caleb to ignoring his wife,

00:18:23.000 to treating her like the roommate.

00:18:26.000 By every indication,

00:18:27.000 he has been a dutiful, responsible husband,

00:18:30.000 whereas she's been playing the single game.

00:18:32.000 I'm gonna go out for cocktails with my girlfriends.

00:18:35.000 Yeah, I have a husband at home, but I don't owe him anything.

00:18:38.000 I don't owe him my time.

00:18:39.000 Sure, he pays for the roof over our heads,

00:18:42.000 but I don't owe him my devotion.

00:18:44.000 I don't even need to get groceries for him.

00:18:46.000 I'm too busy doing my career,

00:18:48.000 and my empowerment,

00:18:50.000 and my self-discovery.

00:18:53.000 There is no indication that Caleb was abusing porn because...

00:18:58.000 and that was causing the problems.

00:19:00.000 It really looks like, to me anyway,

00:19:03.000 that he was resorting to it because she was not satisfying his sexual needs.

00:19:09.000 You never assume I would do anything worthy of respect.

00:19:12.000 Anything honorable.

00:19:13.000 Honorable?

00:19:14.000 Honorable?

00:19:15.000 What were you just looking at, Caleb?

00:19:17.000 What was on that computer screen?

00:19:19.000 Was that honorable?

00:19:20.000 And that's the purpose of getting married.

00:19:23.000 It's so that you don't burn in lust.

00:19:26.000 And yet she was subjecting him to that.

00:19:29.000 This doesn't mean he shouldn't...

00:19:31.000 it's okay for him to look at the porn.

00:19:32.000 He still shouldn't have.

00:19:34.000 But his sin was something she tempted him into.

00:19:40.000 It was her failures as a wife that made that sin so attractive.

00:19:46.000 And, good lord, the next scene where they mention this just absolutely blew me away.

00:19:53.000 So after discovering this, she goes to her mother to talk about it.

00:20:03.000 He makes me feel so humiliated.

00:20:09.000 Oh, you're ashamed?

00:20:11.000 Wait, you're ashamed of this? 0.77

00:20:13.000 You feel inadequate because of the porn? 0.88

00:20:15.000 It's all about you? 0.99

00:20:18.000 Refresh me.

00:20:19.000 What did you say to him when you discovered him jerking it?

00:20:23.000 Honorable?

00:20:24.000 Honorable?

00:20:25.000 What were you just looking at, Caleb?

00:20:27.000 What was on that computer screen?

00:20:28.000 Was that honorable?

00:20:30.000 Yeah.

00:20:32.000 Yeah, you're the one trying to make him feel ashamed.

00:20:35.000 And if you were ashamed, you wouldn't be sharing this so openly.

00:20:39.000 You wouldn't even want to admit it to your priest if you were that ashamed.

00:20:42.000 You're not ashamed.

00:20:43.000 You know perfectly well that you're an attractive woman.

00:20:45.000 After all, weren't you just flirting with this sexy doctor? 1.00

00:20:49.000 You know, you're kind of sweet when you want to be.

00:20:52.000 Kind of?

00:20:54.000 Well, with some training, I think you could be a fine gentleman.

00:20:57.000 Yeah, you are not ashamed, Catherine.

00:21:00.000 What you are doing is you are pretending to be the victim so that you can maintain power.

00:21:06.000 You are the one, through your abandonment of your husband, your refusal to act like a wife, 0.99

00:21:12.000 you're the one that drove him to pornography and then you are using that as another excuse to attack him

00:21:20.000 and make him look like a bad man and just do all of this to justify your selfish desires. 0.94

00:21:27.000 It's not about him needing a sexual outlet.

00:21:30.000 It's never about him, is it?

00:21:32.000 This man that works hard saving lives.

00:21:35.000 It's all about you and your career and your family and your pride.

00:21:44.000 Do you see what the problem with this movie is, folks?

00:21:47.000 Let me be real clear with you about something.

00:21:54.000 I do not love you.

00:21:57.000 Next we have, again, this is one of those good scenes.

00:22:01.000 You know, as I said, pornography is very addictive.

00:22:04.000 And the next stage is...

00:22:07.000 Day 23. 0.94

00:22:09.000 Watch out for parasites. 0.91

00:22:11.000 A parasite is anything that latches onto you or your partner and sucks the life out of your marriage. 0.99

00:22:17.000 They're usually in the form of addictions like gambling, drugs, or pornography.

00:22:22.000 They promise pleasure, but grow like a disease and consume more and more of your thoughts, time, and money.

00:22:28.000 They steal away your loyalty and heart from those you love.

00:22:33.000 Marriages rarely survive if parasites are present.

00:22:36.000 If you love your wife, you must destroy any addiction that has your heart.

00:22:42.000 And quite frankly, that's rock solid advice.

00:22:44.000 You know, if there is something you are addicted to that's eating you up, then you can't really give yourself to another person.

00:22:51.000 You can't be a husband to your wife. 0.95

00:22:53.000 You can't be a wife to your husband. 0.89

00:22:56.000 And you can't be a parent to your children.

00:22:58.000 So it's good that he's recognizing that he's been falling into this trap of pornography.

00:23:04.000 Now, if only she would recognize that she is addicted to ego and status and career girl and feminism. 1.00

00:23:13.000 You know, maybe if she would realize that she's addicted to that, she could start to become a godly woman. 1.00

00:23:20.000 Next, we see yet more of this selfishness.

00:23:24.000 One of the older ladies at her workplace notices that she's flirting with the doctor. 0.88

00:23:31.000 And listen to this advice.

00:23:34.000 If this doctor is trying to woo you while you're still married, what makes you think he won't do that with someone else?

00:23:40.000 I don't think I want to talk about this, Anna. We're getting a little personal.

00:23:46.000 Did you notice that?

00:23:49.000 Do you notice the advice that her friend was giving her?

00:23:53.000 Let me show you some of the advice that Caleb's friends were giving him earlier.

00:23:57.000 Caleb, when two people get married, it's for better or for worse.

00:24:02.000 For richer or for poorer.

00:24:05.000 In sickness and in health.

00:24:07.000 I know that. But marriages aren't fireproof. Sometimes you get burned. 0.96

00:24:13.000 Fireproof doesn't mean that a fire will never come.

00:24:16.000 But that when it comes, you'll be able to withstand it.

00:24:19.000 Caleb's friends were reminding him of the fact that he owes his wife a good husband.

00:24:25.000 What did the wife's elder mentor tell her? 0.99

00:24:29.000 She told her, well, that new guy might stab you in the back. 0.80

00:24:33.000 She appealed to selfish motives.

00:24:36.000 With Caleb, they appealed to selfless motives.

00:24:40.000 With Catherine, to selfish motives.

00:24:43.000 It's all about her.

00:24:48.000 So, the movie carries on.

00:24:50.000 And there's an ongoing issue with Catherine's mother.

00:24:54.000 Her mother needs a very expensive wheelchair. 0.98

00:24:59.000 And she thinks that the sexy doctor donated a bunch of money to buy it for her. 1.00

00:25:06.000 Has anyone ever told you that you're wonderful?

00:25:10.000 Maybe.

00:25:12.000 But not today.

00:25:14.000 Gavin, you didn't have to do that.

00:25:16.000 Do what?

00:25:18.000 Giving money to help my parents.

00:25:20.000 That was so thoughtful.

00:25:22.000 Thank you.

00:25:24.000 You're welcome.

00:25:25.000 At the same time, she also runs into Caleb after he almost dies being a total alpha male badass hero.

00:25:34.000 And...

00:25:36.000 Can you turn to the bar?

00:25:43.000 You look terrible.

00:25:44.000 I feel terrible.

00:25:48.000 I feel terrible.

00:25:49.000 Well, he sustained some first-degree burns here, but he should be fine.

00:25:53.000 So, this is your husband?

00:25:58.000 Yes.

00:25:59.000 Looks like you've got a hero on your hands.

00:26:01.000 Oh, good lord, woman. 1.00

00:26:02.000 You don't deserve this man.

00:26:03.000 So, the movie starts wrapping up at this point.

00:26:11.000 And Caleb has gone from just following the rules because his dad told him to,

00:26:17.000 to actually embracing the spirit of the rules, which is to be Christ-like to his wife. 0.99

00:26:23.000 To love her unconditionally, even though she's a terrible, selfish, greedy woman. 0.98

00:26:30.000 And this leads up to this scene. 0.97

00:26:35.000 You didn't want to do this at first, did you?

00:26:40.000 No.

00:26:44.000 But halfway through, I realized that I did not understand what love was.

00:26:51.000 And once I understood that, I wanted to do it.

00:26:55.000 Caleb, I want to believe that this is real.

00:27:00.000 But I am not ready to say that I trust you again.

00:27:05.000 Wait. What?

00:27:07.000 Trust him again?

00:27:09.000 What are you talking about, woman? 1.00

00:27:11.000 When has he done anything to betray your trust?

00:27:14.000 Oh, I was looking at the pornography?

00:27:16.000 You weren't sleeping with him. 1.00

00:27:17.000 He was not thinking about leaving you, abandoning you, and siring children on those women.

00:27:24.000 Okay? He wasn't looking at this part of them.

00:27:27.000 He was getting his rocks off.

00:27:29.000 Okay? And yeah, he should be doing it with you.

00:27:32.000 But it's not like you were complaining about him denying you sex.

00:27:35.000 What has he done that he needs to earn your trust back again?

00:27:41.000 How entitled are you?

00:27:43.000 You've been flirting with another doctor, you've been refusing to take care of the home,

00:27:47.000 you've been nagging and complaining about everything this guy does,

00:27:50.000 and when he responsibly saves up for a boat, you criticize that.

00:27:55.000 And you think he needs to earn your trust back.

00:27:59.000 Good lord.

00:28:00.000 And if that's not bad enough, it's followed up by this scene.

00:28:05.000 I am sorry.

00:28:10.000 I have been so selfish.

00:28:17.000 For the past seven years, I have trampled on you with my words and with my actions.

00:28:23.000 Caleb, buddy, I know it hurts when you break up with a woman.

00:28:32.000 Or when you're worried that she's going to break up with you.

00:28:35.000 I understand. It hurts.

00:28:37.000 But the only time you're allowed to cry is when you're drunk and you're hanging out with your friends.

00:28:43.000 That's also the only time you get a real hug, not just a man hug, a real hug.

00:28:47.000 Alright? It's okay to cry then.

00:28:48.000 But you never cry in front of your wife and you never cry in front of your dog.

00:28:54.000 It scares them too much.

00:28:56.000 Grow up, you big baby.

00:28:59.000 And I am hoping.

00:29:02.000 I am praying.

00:29:06.000 That somehow you would be able to forgive me too.

00:29:11.000 So once his blubbering is done, they both go back to their respective jobs.

00:29:15.000 He just devotes himself to being a firefighter and he leaves everything else in the hands of God.

00:29:21.000 She, meanwhile, goes back to her job.

00:29:24.000 And she hears, purely by accident, who it was that actually paid for the expensive medical apparatus.

00:29:31.000 Uh, I don't think Dr. Keller covered those things.

00:29:35.000 No, I'm sure he did. I spoke with him about it.

00:29:38.000 Mrs. Holt, if I remember correctly, $24,300 was given for the bed and wheelchair, but Dr. Keller was not the main giver.

00:29:48.000 What?

00:29:49.000 What?

00:29:50.000 Of the amount given, Dr. Keller gave $300.

00:29:58.000 And then who gave the other?

00:30:01.000 Your husband, Caleb.

00:30:02.000 Caleb.

00:30:03.000 That's right.

00:30:05.000 Caleb spent his boat money on the expensive stuff for her mother.

00:30:09.000 Now, listen, as a husband, as part of the family, he probably should have done that in the first place.

00:30:15.000 But that's not what's the critical issue here.

00:30:18.000 The critical issue is that she didn't realize he loved her until he spent money on her.

00:30:24.000 He's not a person.

00:30:26.000 He's not a husband.

00:30:27.000 He's a walking wallet. 1.00

00:30:29.000 And she gets to be the most selfish, greedy, scummy human being the moment that the husband that she promised herself to, 1.00

00:30:39.000 the moment that he stops being useful or entertaining, she drops him, goes and marries a doctor. 0.99

00:30:45.000 Caleb, at his worst, completely sick of his nagging, self-centered wife,

00:30:51.000 at his worst, he was going to let her divorce him and wash his hands of the whole thing.

00:30:57.000 And then, to really just drive how bad all of this is home, she shows up at his work and says this.

00:31:14.000 I haven't told you that I've forgiven you.

00:31:21.000 I have.

00:31:27.000 You know, like that scene right there.

00:31:29.000 See, I was worried I was going to like this movie.

00:31:31.000 Okay?

00:31:32.000 But it's that scene.

00:31:34.000 That is the critical scene.

00:31:36.000 If she had walked up and said to him, I want to be more like you, and I'm sorry for being such a terrible, selfish person,

00:31:46.000 the movie would have been amazing.

00:31:48.000 It would have been great.

00:31:49.000 It would have been perfect.

00:31:51.000 In fact, look at this scene from a recent episode of Rick and Morty,

00:31:55.000 a comedy show that manages to do marital romance a hundred times as good as this Christian movie.

00:32:04.000 And you know what?

00:32:05.000 I'm sick of pretending that we're together because of the kids in the first place.

00:32:09.000 I married you because you're the love of my life.

00:32:12.000 And I'm lucky to have you, and I never tell you that.

00:32:15.000 You know, we will come out of this stronger as a family.

00:32:18.000 That's how the movie should have ended.

00:32:21.000 But, Lord knows, the Churchians just can't admit to themselves that women are sinners too. 0.99

00:32:28.000 And just to put a cherry on top of the sundae, they ended off with...

00:32:35.000 Caleb, in the presence of God and these witnesses, do you come today to freely and unconditionally commit to this covenant marriage to Catherine?

00:32:43.000 I do.

00:32:45.000 With all my heart.

00:32:58.000 That's right.

00:32:59.000 Completely unbiblical marital vows.

00:33:04.000 Oh, folks.

00:33:06.000 This is why marriages are falling apart. 1.00

00:33:09.000 It's because we've completely abandoned the roles of masculine and feminine,

00:33:13.000 of man and woman.

00:33:16.000 And I feel so bad for the actual godly women out there who are receiving no guidance from their grandmothers,

00:33:24.000 no guidance from society at large, and no guidance from the Church.

00:33:28.000 The Church is actively encouraging them to go live a life of egoistic debauchery.

00:33:35.000 When men become debauched, it tends to be the obvious sins. 0.92

00:33:40.000 You know, lust, drunkenness, going about whoring about town.

00:33:46.000 When women do the same thing, it tends to be more about ego. 1.00

00:33:49.000 For women that's debauched, sometimes it's sexual, but usually the ones that are sexual, they're the more honest of the debauched ones. 1.00

00:33:58.000 It's usually the attention whoring, you know, like flirting with guys just to shut them down, 0.96

00:34:05.000 or going out to clubs just to draw attention to themselves,

00:34:08.000 or getting a high-powered career so that she can feel important about herself

00:34:12.000 and get the attention of this rich doctor instead of her totally alpha male, good-looking, and hard-working husband. 0.70

00:34:23.000 The Church is encouraging these women to do whatever they want, to have no regard for other people. 1.00

00:34:29.000 The Church is tempting them into sin, and it's destroying marriages in the process.

00:34:34.000 Please, you know, all you Christians out there, drop this feminism! 1.00

00:34:40.000 It's a godless, Marxist ideology meant to destroy the family, 0.99

00:34:46.000 meant to turn men and women into individual cogs, meant to rip children away from parents, 1.00

00:34:51.000 and ultimately completely corrupt and denigrate and destroy the Church. 0.99

00:34:58.000 When you try and suck up to women who they like to go to Sunday social club, 1.00

00:35:05.000 guess what? Church isn't a social club. 0.99

00:35:07.000 It has social aspects, but it's not a social club.

00:35:10.000 As C.S. Lewis pointed out, we're in occupied territory right now,

00:35:14.000 and you go to church to get a radio call from the resistance to remind you what the objectives are,

00:35:22.000 how we're going to, you know, fight this battle.

00:35:26.000 And when you refuse to speak that message because you want more money from women, 0.58

00:35:32.000 or you don't want to offend women, or you yourself are afraid of women,

00:35:38.000 you know, where you want a wife to act like your mother. 1.00

00:35:41.000 No.

00:35:42.000 No, the wife dominates her son. 1.00

00:35:46.000 You're the husband.

00:35:48.000 You are the one in charge.

00:35:50.000 Leadership is your responsibility,

00:35:54.000 just as submission is her responsibility.

00:35:58.000 The two work in tandem.

00:36:00.000 And when you try and flip the roles, when you try and reverse them,

00:36:04.000 you are setting everybody up for failure.

00:36:08.000 So, those are my end thoughts on the movie.

00:36:13.000 It was attempting to do something good, and that's what really breaks my heart.

00:36:18.000 You know, there are plenty of liars out there that couch their lies in all sorts of pretty truths,

00:36:24.000 and you have to really pay attention to spot the lie.

00:36:27.000 The lie that turns the whole thing poison.

00:36:30.000 You know, you put a drop of wine into sewage, and you got sewage.

00:36:35.000 You put a drop of sewage into wine, and you got sewage.

00:36:39.000 It only takes a small little taint to corrupt the entire edifice.

00:36:45.000 And that's what happened with this movie.

00:36:48.000 They were really trying to do something good.

00:36:50.000 They weren't the ones trying to poison people with sewage.

00:36:53.000 But they let sewage in.

00:36:55.000 They weren't courageous enough.

00:36:57.000 They weren't disciplined enough.

00:36:59.000 And they weren't adhering to actual biblical teachings.

00:37:02.000 They let the sewage in.

00:37:04.000 They let feminism into it. 1.00

00:37:06.000 And this movie that is supposed to be about loving your wife like Christ loves the church.

00:37:14.000 Christ loves the church despite the fact that it's full of sinners.

00:37:19.000 It doesn't mean that Christ should be encouraging them in whatever depravity that they want to get up to.

00:37:28.000 Just because, oh, I don't want them not to come to my church.

00:37:31.000 Look, Christ isn't the one sucking up to the church.

00:37:35.000 Okay?

00:37:36.000 It's our job to try and, you know, be a church that deserves him.

00:37:40.000 I guess one final comment on biblical marriage and marriage between Christians versus marriage between pagans or atheists.

00:37:55.000 The Bible is pretty clear that if you are with your wife and you got married outside of the church and you convert or she converts, you are expected to act like a Christian husband even if she isn't.

00:38:13.000 You don't get to divorce her.

00:38:16.000 But if she abandons you, if she leaves you, then it wasn't a marriage.

00:38:24.000 Because she wasn't a Christian. 0.98

00:38:25.000 The church didn't administer it.

00:38:27.000 Not a marriage.

00:38:29.000 Now, if she becomes a Christian, that then retroactively does turn you into a proper married couple. 0.57

00:38:36.000 Sorry.

00:38:37.000 No divorce for you. 0.99

00:38:39.000 But in that movie, if Caleb had been acting like a good Christian husband and she had still abandoned him, then he would have been single.

00:38:50.000 And quite frankly, the woman was just absolutely monstrous.

00:38:53.000 It's more of a horror movie ending to the thing, really.

00:38:57.000 I mean, she says, I want to be more like you.

00:39:00.000 She's never going to be.

00:39:03.000 And it's because instead of embracing Christian headship of the household, he blubbered like a baby. 0.99

00:39:13.000 If he hadn't cried like a little wuss, she would have abandoned him for the doctor. 0.98

00:39:21.000 Because she has no interest in becoming a Christian. 1.00

00:39:24.000 She is a monster. 1.00

00:39:27.000 And folks, you gotta avoid those sorts of women. 1.00

00:39:32.000 Thanks for watchin'.

00:39:34.000 Irini out.

00:40:02.000 Why are you realidad?

00:40:04.000 Who's the son of doors?

00:40:06.000 Want to be alone?

00:40:07.000 God is coming for you.

00:40:08.000 I love you.

00:40:10.000 What's in your car?

00:40:11.000 You cannot be afraid Jadiak to have someone that's been saved.

Leo D.M.J. Aurini - August 31, 2015

Fireproof (2008)： Unpacking the Feminism

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript