Leo D.M.J. Aurini - October 14, 2017


How to Deal With Homesickness


Episode Stats

Length

11 minutes

Words per Minute

112.167015

Word Count

1,259

Sentence Count

103

Misogynist Sentences

1

Hate Speech Sentences

4


Summary

When you move to a new place, there are going to be things you like more about the new place you like, and things you miss about the old place that you grew up in. You can never go home again.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 I
00:00:30.000 So the topic of this video is homesickness.
00:00:34.560 Not just the longing that you feel for friends and family and familiar locations,
00:00:42.220 but the cultural homesickness, the political homesickness that you might feel for the place
00:00:51.560 that you come from.
00:00:53.660 Because when you move to a different part of the country or a different part of the world,
00:00:58.860 there's just so many differences.
00:01:02.740 There are going to be things that you like more about the new place,
00:01:06.300 and there's going to be things that are very off-putting.
00:01:10.120 Even something as simple as grocery shopping.
00:01:13.520 You're going to find a different selection of goods available at the grocery store.
00:01:17.960 There are different assumptions about when's a reasonable time to do this or that,
00:01:24.060 styles of dress, speech, church attendance, you name it.
00:01:32.620 And I've moved around a fair bit.
00:01:36.640 Alberta, Ontario, I was in Vegas for a while,
00:01:39.680 East Coast, British Columbia.
00:01:43.860 I've moved around a lot.
00:01:47.800 And yes, each time you go to a new place,
00:01:51.520 there's things you like, but there's things that you miss about the old place.
00:01:58.700 There's something...
00:02:00.680 It's an improvement, but it's also a degradation.
00:02:04.820 And so, what are you supposed to do about that?
00:02:09.920 And you know, in a certain sense, to ask the question is to answer it.
00:02:17.120 But let's take a circuitous route to get there.
00:02:21.800 The title of this video is a very old saying.
00:02:26.280 You can't go home again.
00:02:29.480 And there's a movie that really illustrates this just perfectly.
00:02:33.280 World's End.
00:02:35.000 It's part of the Cornetto trilogy.
00:02:37.300 And the topic of that movie is about these Gen Xers
00:02:42.260 trying to relive their last year of high school,
00:02:46.560 15 years down the road.
00:02:49.720 And so they're listening to Sisters of Mercy.
00:02:51.940 They're driving around.
00:02:52.860 The leader of the group is still dressing exactly the same as he dressed in high school.
00:02:57.060 He's still driving the same exact car as he drove.
00:02:59.880 And they're trying to complete the pub crawl
00:03:02.420 that they failed to complete on their graduation night.
00:03:06.860 But when they go to all of these bars,
00:03:09.520 all of these dingy, hole-in-the-wall,
00:03:12.640 sloppy Joe dives,
00:03:16.660 well, they've all been remodeled.
00:03:19.480 They've all been bought out by corporations.
00:03:21.260 They all have the exact same menu,
00:03:23.500 the exact same lighting,
00:03:24.760 the same light oak veneer on everything,
00:03:28.540 the same faux-friendliness.
00:03:32.920 And the whole thing's really a metaphor
00:03:35.700 for what Gen Xers are experiencing
00:03:38.760 with the millennial generation.
00:03:41.700 The millennials don't drink,
00:03:43.140 and so the bars no longer have any character.
00:03:46.020 They're all corporate.
00:03:47.080 They're all friendly.
00:03:48.120 They're all politically correct.
00:03:49.280 And the frustration that Gen Xers find
00:03:53.440 when they go to the bar,
00:03:55.240 it's either a bunch of grumpy baby boomers
00:03:56.980 that want to pretend that, you know,
00:03:58.600 they did great things to make this world a better place,
00:04:01.520 or it's a family-friendly, innocuous,
00:04:06.200 you know, corporate product.
00:04:09.380 The world we grew up in does not exist anymore.
00:04:12.760 You know, you might find a little niche here or there,
00:04:15.680 and I know a couple of them,
00:04:16.760 but they're very few and far between.
00:04:20.060 And quite frankly, as we age,
00:04:23.860 as we age out of the bar scene,
00:04:26.980 there's just, there's no market for it anymore.
00:04:29.540 And so even if we go to that hole in the wall,
00:04:32.240 it's now the preserved hole in the wall.
00:04:36.560 Listening to music from the Summer of Love
00:04:39.760 on the oldie station
00:04:41.120 is not the same as actually being there.
00:04:43.560 You know, typically they say the past is a foreign country
00:04:50.740 in the sense of the historian,
00:04:53.820 that to read about the past,
00:04:55.860 to immerse yourself in it,
00:04:56.960 to understand it,
00:04:58.220 is to visit a foreign country.
00:05:01.880 But our own pasts wind up becoming foreign countries.
00:05:05.400 And so when you move
00:05:10.100 to another state,
00:05:12.100 to another country,
00:05:14.260 and you move because there's things you like
00:05:15.840 about the new place,
00:05:16.760 but there's going to be things you miss.
00:05:17.980 The tragic part is that
00:05:22.380 if you go back home,
00:05:24.560 it might not be quite so obvious yet
00:05:26.760 if it's only been a year or two,
00:05:28.460 but give it five years,
00:05:30.040 then go back home.
00:05:31.760 You won't recognize the place.
00:05:33.100 It's completely changed.
00:05:36.480 It's completely new.
00:05:37.400 It's completely different.
00:05:42.460 And that brother is just part of aging.
00:05:45.640 You can never go home again
00:05:47.080 and the past is a foreign country.
00:05:49.740 Your past is a foreign country
00:05:51.900 that no longer exists.
00:05:57.020 So what do we do about this?
00:06:03.100 Well, some people choose
00:06:04.940 to endlessly embrace the new.
00:06:12.280 They live in the moment.
00:06:14.580 They have no sense of rootedness,
00:06:16.940 no sense of tradition.
00:06:18.640 They go with the current trends,
00:06:20.740 the pop politics,
00:06:22.500 the pop opinions.
00:06:25.440 And I think you know where this winds up.
00:06:28.400 You wind up with somebody
00:06:29.900 that's in their mid-30s
00:06:32.560 or, you know, mid-40s
00:06:34.580 and they're living the exact same
00:06:36.540 sort of lifestyle
00:06:37.660 as all of the young people.
00:06:40.420 They've never put down roots.
00:06:41.840 They've never grown.
00:06:43.400 They've never gathered any moss.
00:06:46.540 They're still adrift
00:06:47.540 with their lives going nowhere.
00:06:54.040 And so this is what I meant
00:06:55.320 when I said to ask the question
00:06:57.140 is to answer it.
00:06:58.460 The question states,
00:07:02.080 there's things I liked
00:07:03.160 about my hometown,
00:07:04.560 but there's things I really like
00:07:06.400 about this new place
00:07:07.860 that I'm at.
00:07:09.800 How do I reconcile the two?
00:07:13.340 Well, you can't go back
00:07:14.460 to your hometown.
00:07:15.480 It's not there anymore.
00:07:16.740 But what you can do
00:07:20.640 is start forging
00:07:23.000 an identity,
00:07:25.560 forging
00:07:26.060 a political
00:07:27.800 and cultural identity
00:07:29.380 for yourself.
00:07:31.720 And I don't mean
00:07:32.780 in the grand sense
00:07:33.720 of attending marches
00:07:35.560 and rallies
00:07:36.180 and making a big ruckus.
00:07:37.900 I mean
00:07:38.640 you
00:07:39.940 create
00:07:41.280 your own culture.
00:07:42.540 you
00:07:43.660 create
00:07:44.660 a new
00:07:45.480 hometown
00:07:46.320 for your children.
00:07:49.260 You establish
00:07:50.340 a career.
00:07:51.660 You establish
00:07:52.280 some values,
00:07:53.380 some work habits,
00:07:55.040 some lifestyle
00:07:56.720 aspects
00:07:58.080 to yourself.
00:08:00.240 You know,
00:08:00.540 are you a whiskey drinker
00:08:02.060 or
00:08:02.420 do you drink
00:08:03.280 that
00:08:03.620 mint-flavored schnapps
00:08:05.760 that Aaron
00:08:06.740 seems to love
00:08:07.440 so much?
00:08:08.000 Do you go out
00:08:12.520 dancing?
00:08:13.260 Do you become
00:08:13.580 a movie critic?
00:08:15.120 Do you have
00:08:15.500 a really nice
00:08:16.060 home theater?
00:08:17.860 Do you have
00:08:18.460 whatever it might be?
00:08:22.000 You start
00:08:22.760 selecting
00:08:23.380 a group
00:08:24.620 of friends.
00:08:25.300 And granted,
00:08:25.740 it's difficult
00:08:26.240 nowadays
00:08:26.720 because we are
00:08:27.400 all so
00:08:28.120 separated
00:08:30.080 by vast distances.
00:08:33.760 But you know,
00:08:34.500 travel's getting
00:08:35.000 cheaper.
00:08:35.360 It's
00:08:38.000 you
00:08:38.960 build that.
00:08:41.480 You
00:08:42.040 create
00:08:43.160 that new
00:08:44.260 synthesis.
00:08:45.280 You take
00:08:45.720 what you liked
00:08:46.400 about where
00:08:47.080 you grew up.
00:08:47.960 You take
00:08:48.460 what you like
00:08:49.180 about the new
00:08:50.060 place that you're
00:08:50.660 living.
00:08:51.220 You combine
00:08:51.940 the two.
00:08:52.540 You figure
00:08:52.960 out how
00:08:53.840 to suss
00:08:54.900 out the
00:08:55.620 way to
00:08:56.000 put them
00:08:56.400 together.
00:08:58.320 And you
00:08:58.960 start putting
00:08:59.420 that life
00:09:00.080 together
00:09:00.700 for yourself.
00:09:01.400 nostalgia
00:09:08.180 is not
00:09:10.960 meant to
00:09:11.460 be
00:09:11.900 indulged
00:09:13.180 in
00:09:13.460 in some
00:09:14.780 sort of
00:09:15.520 sappy
00:09:16.360 or morose
00:09:16.980 manner.
00:09:18.640 Nostalgia
00:09:19.200 is there
00:09:20.640 to
00:09:21.160 help
00:09:22.280 guide
00:09:22.620 your path
00:09:23.180 into the
00:09:23.700 future.
00:09:25.720 That you
00:09:26.520 should be
00:09:27.080 looking
00:09:27.840 to create
00:09:28.820 a new
00:09:29.600 nostalgia.
00:09:31.380 Same
00:09:31.760 flavor
00:09:32.260 as the
00:09:33.180 old one
00:09:33.640 but a
00:09:34.540 new
00:09:34.960 arrangement.
00:09:36.240 Something that
00:09:36.800 rhymes.
00:09:37.440 Something that
00:09:37.800 echoes with
00:09:38.780 your past
00:09:39.300 without trying
00:09:40.060 to relive
00:09:41.320 the past
00:09:42.000 while embracing
00:09:43.860 those new
00:09:44.500 aspects
00:09:44.880 that you
00:09:45.840 enjoy.
00:09:47.060 A
00:09:47.740 solid
00:09:48.660 foundation.
00:09:49.900 A rooted
00:09:50.580 family and a
00:09:52.160 rooted culture
00:09:53.120 to grow
00:09:54.380 off of.
00:10:00.140 So here's
00:10:00.880 the thing.
00:10:01.180 The fact
00:10:01.500 that you're
00:10:01.800 aware of
00:10:02.240 this question
00:10:02.840 so young
00:10:04.880 at such
00:10:05.900 a young
00:10:06.800 age,
00:10:07.080 early
00:10:07.280 twenties,
00:10:09.620 you've got
00:10:10.180 a huge
00:10:10.480 advantage
00:10:10.860 here because
00:10:11.260 everybody is
00:10:12.040 eventually
00:10:12.520 going to
00:10:13.440 see their
00:10:15.220 childhood
00:10:15.660 home
00:10:15.960 disappear.
00:10:18.140 You know
00:10:19.080 it's not
00:10:19.840 there anymore.
00:10:20.620 You know
00:10:21.080 you're
00:10:21.320 somewhere
00:10:21.600 different.
00:10:22.620 And now
00:10:23.100 you can
00:10:23.960 get to
00:10:24.260 the task
00:10:24.880 of
00:10:26.660 affirming
00:10:29.140 the old
00:10:29.720 and building
00:10:30.980 the new.
00:10:33.760 Best of
00:10:34.420 luck,
00:10:34.700 brother.
00:10:35.680 I hope
00:10:36.060 this was
00:10:36.320 helpful.
00:10:38.340 Deus
00:10:38.660 Volt.
00:10:40.660 Irini
00:10:41.080 out.
00:10:41.460 Thank you.
00:11:08.000 Thank you.
00:11:08.420 Thank you.
00:11:10.160 Bye.
00:11:11.460 You