Leo D.M.J. Aurini - How to Deal With Homesickness

00:00:00.000 I

00:00:30.000 So the topic of this video is homesickness.

00:00:34.560 Not just the longing that you feel for friends and family and familiar locations,

00:00:42.220 but the cultural homesickness, the political homesickness that you might feel for the place

00:00:51.560 that you come from.

00:00:53.660 Because when you move to a different part of the country or a different part of the world,

00:00:58.860 there's just so many differences.

00:01:02.740 There are going to be things that you like more about the new place,

00:01:06.300 and there's going to be things that are very off-putting.

00:01:10.120 Even something as simple as grocery shopping.

00:01:13.520 You're going to find a different selection of goods available at the grocery store.

00:01:17.960 There are different assumptions about when's a reasonable time to do this or that,

00:01:24.060 styles of dress, speech, church attendance, you name it.

00:01:32.620 And I've moved around a fair bit.

00:01:36.640 Alberta, Ontario, I was in Vegas for a while,

00:01:39.680 East Coast, British Columbia.

00:01:43.860 I've moved around a lot.

00:01:47.800 And yes, each time you go to a new place,

00:01:51.520 there's things you like, but there's things that you miss about the old place.

00:01:58.700 There's something...

00:02:00.680 It's an improvement, but it's also a degradation.

00:02:04.820 And so, what are you supposed to do about that?

00:02:09.920 And you know, in a certain sense, to ask the question is to answer it.

00:02:17.120 But let's take a circuitous route to get there.

00:02:21.800 The title of this video is a very old saying.

00:02:26.280 You can't go home again.

00:02:29.480 And there's a movie that really illustrates this just perfectly.

00:02:33.280 World's End.

00:02:35.000 It's part of the Cornetto trilogy.

00:02:37.300 And the topic of that movie is about these Gen Xers

00:02:42.260 trying to relive their last year of high school,

00:02:46.560 15 years down the road.

00:02:49.720 And so they're listening to Sisters of Mercy.

00:02:51.940 They're driving around.

00:02:52.860 The leader of the group is still dressing exactly the same as he dressed in high school.

00:02:57.060 He's still driving the same exact car as he drove.

00:02:59.880 And they're trying to complete the pub crawl

00:03:02.420 that they failed to complete on their graduation night.

00:03:06.860 But when they go to all of these bars,

00:03:09.520 all of these dingy, hole-in-the-wall,

00:03:12.640 sloppy Joe dives,

00:03:16.660 well, they've all been remodeled.

00:03:19.480 They've all been bought out by corporations.

00:03:21.260 They all have the exact same menu,

00:03:23.500 the exact same lighting,

00:03:24.760 the same light oak veneer on everything,

00:03:28.540 the same faux-friendliness.

00:03:32.920 And the whole thing's really a metaphor

00:03:35.700 for what Gen Xers are experiencing

00:03:38.760 with the millennial generation.

00:03:41.700 The millennials don't drink, 0.92

00:03:43.140 and so the bars no longer have any character.

00:03:46.020 They're all corporate.

00:03:47.080 They're all friendly.

00:03:48.120 They're all politically correct.

00:03:49.280 And the frustration that Gen Xers find 1.00

00:03:53.440 when they go to the bar,

00:03:55.240 it's either a bunch of grumpy baby boomers 1.00

00:03:56.980 that want to pretend that, you know,

00:03:58.600 they did great things to make this world a better place,

00:04:01.520 or it's a family-friendly, innocuous,

00:04:06.200 you know, corporate product.

00:04:09.380 The world we grew up in does not exist anymore.

00:04:12.760 You know, you might find a little niche here or there,

00:04:15.680 and I know a couple of them,

00:04:16.760 but they're very few and far between.

00:04:20.060 And quite frankly, as we age,

00:04:23.860 as we age out of the bar scene,

00:04:26.980 there's just, there's no market for it anymore.

00:04:29.540 And so even if we go to that hole in the wall,

00:04:32.240 it's now the preserved hole in the wall.

00:04:36.560 Listening to music from the Summer of Love

00:04:39.760 on the oldie station

00:04:41.120 is not the same as actually being there.

00:04:43.560 You know, typically they say the past is a foreign country

00:04:50.740 in the sense of the historian,

00:04:53.820 that to read about the past,

00:04:55.860 to immerse yourself in it,

00:04:56.960 to understand it,

00:04:58.220 is to visit a foreign country.

00:05:01.880 But our own pasts wind up becoming foreign countries.

00:05:05.400 And so when you move

00:05:10.100 to another state,

00:05:12.100 to another country,

00:05:14.260 and you move because there's things you like

00:05:15.840 about the new place,

00:05:16.760 but there's going to be things you miss.

00:05:17.980 The tragic part is that

00:05:22.380 if you go back home,

00:05:24.560 it might not be quite so obvious yet

00:05:26.760 if it's only been a year or two,

00:05:28.460 but give it five years,

00:05:30.040 then go back home.

00:05:31.760 You won't recognize the place.

00:05:33.100 It's completely changed.

00:05:36.480 It's completely new.

00:05:37.400 It's completely different.

00:05:42.460 And that brother is just part of aging.

00:05:45.640 You can never go home again

00:05:47.080 and the past is a foreign country.

00:05:49.740 Your past is a foreign country 1.00

00:05:51.900 that no longer exists.

00:05:57.020 So what do we do about this?

00:06:03.100 Well, some people choose

00:06:04.940 to endlessly embrace the new.

00:06:12.280 They live in the moment.

00:06:14.580 They have no sense of rootedness,

00:06:16.940 no sense of tradition.

00:06:18.640 They go with the current trends,

00:06:20.740 the pop politics,

00:06:22.500 the pop opinions.

00:06:25.440 And I think you know where this winds up.

00:06:28.400 You wind up with somebody

00:06:29.900 that's in their mid-30s

00:06:32.560 or, you know, mid-40s

00:06:34.580 and they're living the exact same

00:06:36.540 sort of lifestyle

00:06:37.660 as all of the young people.

00:06:40.420 They've never put down roots.

00:06:41.840 They've never grown.

00:06:43.400 They've never gathered any moss.

00:06:46.540 They're still adrift

00:06:47.540 with their lives going nowhere.

00:06:54.040 And so this is what I meant

00:06:55.320 when I said to ask the question

00:06:57.140 is to answer it.

00:06:58.460 The question states,

00:07:02.080 there's things I liked

00:07:03.160 about my hometown,

00:07:04.560 but there's things I really like

00:07:06.400 about this new place

00:07:07.860 that I'm at.

00:07:09.800 How do I reconcile the two?

00:07:13.340 Well, you can't go back

00:07:14.460 to your hometown.

00:07:15.480 It's not there anymore.

00:07:16.740 But what you can do

00:07:20.640 is start forging

00:07:23.000 an identity,

00:07:25.560 forging

00:07:26.060 a political

00:07:27.800 and cultural identity

00:07:29.380 for yourself.

00:07:31.720 And I don't mean

00:07:32.780 in the grand sense

00:07:33.720 of attending marches

00:07:35.560 and rallies

00:07:36.180 and making a big ruckus.

00:07:37.900 I mean

00:07:38.640 you

00:07:39.940 create

00:07:41.280 your own culture.

00:07:42.540 you

00:07:43.660 create

00:07:44.660 a new

00:07:45.480 hometown

00:07:46.320 for your children.

00:07:49.260 You establish

00:07:50.340 a career.

00:07:51.660 You establish

00:07:52.280 some values,

00:07:53.380 some work habits,

00:07:55.040 some lifestyle

00:07:56.720 aspects

00:07:58.080 to yourself.

00:08:00.240 You know,

00:08:00.540 are you a whiskey drinker

00:08:02.060 or

00:08:02.420 do you drink

00:08:03.280 that

00:08:03.620 mint-flavored schnapps

00:08:05.760 that Aaron

00:08:06.740 seems to love

00:08:07.440 so much?

00:08:08.000 Do you go out

00:08:12.520 dancing?

00:08:13.260 Do you become

00:08:13.580 a movie critic?

00:08:15.120 Do you have

00:08:15.500 a really nice

00:08:16.060 home theater?

00:08:17.860 Do you have

00:08:18.460 whatever it might be?

00:08:22.000 You start

00:08:22.760 selecting

00:08:23.380 a group

00:08:24.620 of friends.

00:08:25.300 And granted,

00:08:25.740 it's difficult

00:08:26.240 nowadays

00:08:26.720 because we are

00:08:27.400 all so

00:08:28.120 separated

00:08:30.080 by vast distances.

00:08:33.760 But you know,

00:08:34.500 travel's getting

00:08:35.000 cheaper.

00:08:35.360 It's

00:08:38.000 you

00:08:38.960 build that.

00:08:41.480 You

00:08:42.040 create

00:08:43.160 that new

00:08:44.260 synthesis.

00:08:45.280 You take

00:08:45.720 what you liked

00:08:46.400 about where

00:08:47.080 you grew up.

00:08:47.960 You take

00:08:48.460 what you like

00:08:49.180 about the new

00:08:50.060 place that you're

00:08:50.660 living.

00:08:51.220 You combine

00:08:51.940 the two.

00:08:52.540 You figure

00:08:52.960 out how

00:08:53.840 to suss

00:08:54.900 out the

00:08:55.620 way to

00:08:56.000 put them

00:08:56.400 together.

00:08:58.320 And you

00:08:58.960 start putting

00:08:59.420 that life

00:09:00.080 together

00:09:00.700 for yourself.

00:09:01.400 nostalgia

00:09:08.180 is not

00:09:10.960 meant to

00:09:11.460 be

00:09:11.900 indulged

00:09:13.180 in

00:09:13.460 in some

00:09:14.780 sort of

00:09:15.520 sappy

00:09:16.360 or morose 0.83

00:09:16.980 manner. 0.69

00:09:18.640 Nostalgia

00:09:19.200 is there

00:09:20.640 to

00:09:21.160 help

00:09:22.280 guide

00:09:22.620 your path

00:09:23.180 into the

00:09:23.700 future.

00:09:25.720 That you

00:09:26.520 should be

00:09:27.080 looking

00:09:27.840 to create

00:09:28.820 a new

00:09:29.600 nostalgia.

00:09:31.380 Same

00:09:31.760 flavor

00:09:32.260 as the

00:09:33.180 old one

00:09:33.640 but a

00:09:34.540 new

00:09:34.960 arrangement.

00:09:36.240 Something that

00:09:36.800 rhymes.

00:09:37.440 Something that

00:09:37.800 echoes with 1.00

00:09:38.780 your past

00:09:39.300 without trying

00:09:40.060 to relive

00:09:41.320 the past

00:09:42.000 while embracing

00:09:43.860 those new

00:09:44.500 aspects

00:09:44.880 that you

00:09:45.840 enjoy.

00:09:47.060 A

00:09:47.740 solid

00:09:48.660 foundation.

00:09:49.900 A rooted

00:09:50.580 family and a

00:09:52.160 rooted culture

00:09:53.120 to grow

00:09:54.380 off of.

00:10:00.140 So here's

00:10:00.880 the thing.

00:10:01.180 The fact

00:10:01.500 that you're

00:10:01.800 aware of

00:10:02.240 this question

00:10:02.840 so young

00:10:04.880 at such

00:10:05.900 a young

00:10:06.800 age,

00:10:07.080 early

00:10:07.280 twenties,

00:10:09.620 you've got

00:10:10.180 a huge

00:10:10.480 advantage

00:10:10.860 here because

00:10:11.260 everybody is

00:10:12.040 eventually

00:10:12.520 going to

00:10:13.440 see their

00:10:15.220 childhood

00:10:15.660 home

00:10:15.960 disappear.

00:10:18.140 You know

00:10:19.080 it's not

00:10:19.840 there anymore.

00:10:20.620 You know

00:10:21.080 you're

00:10:21.320 somewhere

00:10:21.600 different.

00:10:22.620 And now

00:10:23.100 you can

00:10:23.960 get to

00:10:24.260 the task

00:10:24.880 of

00:10:26.660 affirming

00:10:29.140 the old

00:10:29.720 and building

00:10:30.980 the new.

00:10:33.760 Best of

00:10:34.420 luck,

00:10:34.700 brother.

00:10:35.680 I hope

00:10:36.060 this was

00:10:36.320 helpful.

00:10:38.340 Deus

00:10:38.660 Volt.

00:10:40.660 Irini

00:10:41.080 out.

00:10:41.460 Thank you.

00:11:08.000 Thank you.

00:11:08.420 Thank you.

00:11:10.160 Bye.

00:11:11.460 You

Leo D.M.J. Aurini - October 14, 2017

How to Deal With Homesickness

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