Leo D.M.J. Aurini - How to Make Friends as an Adult Requested Video

00:00:00.000 Good evening, folks. What do you think of the new spectacles?

00:00:07.260 I just picked them up from an online store called Zenni Optical, and it saved me about

00:00:12.620 a hundred bucks, which is why I'm mentioning it. There's a link down below. They're not

00:00:17.300 sponsoring this. They're just a really good place to order cheap, good quality glasses.

00:00:22.600 So check them out. And yes, I am aware of the fact that the 50% tint makes me look like

00:00:29.680 Ian Malcolm's cooler older brother. Now as to the person that is sponsoring this requested

00:00:36.480 video, he's going by anonymous, and he asks a question that I think a lot of us are struggling

00:00:44.140 with. And so I'm going to read the whole thing out. How do you make friends as an adult? I

00:00:52.760 feel like, given the current cultural climate, getting laid is easier than forging genuine

00:00:57.360 friendship with people who would resonate well with the audience that typically watches

00:01:01.340 your channel and similar content. I frequent online communities that center around, you

00:01:06.580 know, MGTOW, the red pill, manosphere, philosophy, not because the dynamics of relationships with

00:01:12.300 women intrigue me, but because this side of the internet has the strongest understanding 1.00

00:01:16.100 of the current culture war. You guys, yourself, turd-flinging monkey, rushby, etc., and thank

00:01:22.320 you for putting me in that company, discuss things with a level of nuance and intellectual

00:01:26.640 vitality that I can't even seem to approach in real life. And I've been in presumably intellectual

00:01:32.480 environments like Ivy League schools. I live in a big city in Canada, and the fact of the

00:01:38.120 matter is, most people discern truth at such a low resolution that there's no hope of them

00:01:43.160 ever achieving the levels of woke that I see within this community. There's just a stunning

00:01:47.460 lack of introspection, a general inability to articulate or make sense of the complexities

00:01:52.060 of things occurring to them, and a whole lot of intellectual dishonesty. I don't know, most

00:01:57.140 people just suck, and I can count on one hand the number of people I would consider true 0.97

00:02:00.600 friends, and they were people I met over the internet, though almost entirely coincidental 0.99

00:02:04.860 circumstances. Don't get me wrong, I'm a blessed individual in terms of the relationships

00:02:10.080 that I've built, but it'd be nice to make sense of the possibilities so that it doesn't

00:02:14.000 have to be luck that determines my interactions with others. So, this is going to be a video

00:02:21.560 about not relying upon luck, but relying upon intellect, social hacking, tools, things you

00:02:29.940 can apply to try and find men that you would want to forge real masculine friendships with.

00:02:37.720 So, I broke it down into five points. Now, the first point, and I don't think this first

00:02:48.440 point necessarily applies to anonymous asking the question, but I need to put this out there

00:02:53.540 just for the sake of completeness. Number one, consider therapy. Now, I can already see some

00:03:04.920 of you reacting to that. Here's the thing about therapy. Therapy is not going to give you closure.

00:03:11.800 It's not going to quiet your internal demons. It's not going to really help mental illness

00:03:17.520 or anything like that. That's not why I'm saying consider therapy. What therapy will do, if you need

00:03:26.440 it, is help you develop social skills that you might lack. I mean, guys, we're in the internet age.

00:03:33.640 A lot of people lack social skills. If you lack social skills, that's just an obstacle you need

00:03:39.720 to overcome. You know, maybe you need to go to physical therapy for this hand. Maybe you need

00:03:44.600 to go to social therapy to learn good techniques, good coping skills, etc. So, I'm just putting that

00:03:53.500 out there. And, you know, even if you don't need to actually start seeing a therapist, well,

00:04:01.640 maybe you need to pick up a copy of How to Make Friends and Influence People. You know, maybe you

00:04:08.400 need to read some of Roush's books on gain. You know, don't become a self-help junkie, obviously. But,

00:04:16.080 you know, there's some books out there that might give you the kick in the ass that you need to 0.98

00:04:20.840 improve your social skills to improve how you relate, how you behave around other people. 0.98

00:04:27.840 So, that's number one, is consider therapy, consider self-help. Now, let's get to the interesting

00:04:35.820 parts of the answer. Number two, look to yourself first. Now, what Anonymous is frustrated with

00:04:48.440 is the fact that he's surrounded by normies.

00:04:57.000 And guess what? Normies suck. You know, maybe 50 years ago, they were a little bit more sane, 1.00

00:05:03.760 but they weren't sane because they had arrived at these conclusions on their own. They were just

00:05:09.020 putting voice to the popular delusions at the time. Just so happened that back then, the popular

00:05:15.500 delusions were mostly good delusions. These days, the modern delusions are pure insanity.

00:05:26.560 But you're expecting too much from the normies. Okay, the thing is, even 50 years ago, yeah,

00:05:31.600 they wouldn't have been quite as insane, but they would still have been just as boring.

00:05:36.840 So, this is why you need to look to yourself, why are you surrounded by normies? Yeah, compared to

00:05:45.600 them, you're smart, you're well-educated, you're productive, etc. What about compared to the sort

00:05:52.740 of men you want to hang out with, the sort of men you want to meet? I will guarantee you that there is

00:06:01.060 some aspect of your life where you're not living up to your potential. You're not firing on all

00:06:07.380 cylinders. You're being lazy, you're being slothful, something's distracting you. You need to become

00:06:16.160 the sort of man that these men would want to hang out with. So, take a personal inventory of yourself

00:06:24.320 and say, am I doing everything with my career that I could be doing? Am I doing everything with

00:06:30.900 my lifestyle? Am I an interesting person? Because I'll guarantee you, there is a community of guys

00:06:39.220 out there that you could have riveting conversations with, right? I'm not going to say you're going to

00:06:44.660 find a soul brother at the drop of a hat, but you will find guys that have something interesting to

00:06:49.860 say. It might be within a limited domain, it might be a professional organization,

00:06:54.480 but there are people out there. You need to earn your way into that community.

00:07:03.680 Number three is related to this. Begin participating and contributing.

00:07:10.960 So, are you part of any extracurricular activities? Could be a soccer league, could be fencing,

00:07:24.780 could be hiking, could be professional organizations as well. You know, are you showing up to these

00:07:31.320 events and contributing? Are you investing in the event? Are you making the event better?

00:07:39.680 Because if you're just showing up, well, first of all, if you're not showing up,

00:07:44.480 you know, the first thing you need to do to win is to show up.

00:07:48.360 So, you need to start showing up. And if you're already showing up, but you're not

00:07:52.440 contributing to the events, then nobody's going to notice that you're there.

00:08:02.940 Let me put it really frankly, who do you think I remember from the comment section?

00:08:07.540 The people that are very witty and the people that give super chats.

00:08:15.700 Obviously, the people that are contributing. And, you know, I have stuff I do outside of YouTube

00:08:22.000 and I try and be engaged. I'm very busy with everything I'm doing, but, you know, I try and

00:08:27.920 put things together every once in a while. You know, people tend to know who I am and I try and bring

00:08:34.280 positive energy into their life. I try and fulfill something useful, something entertaining,

00:08:41.200 interesting, good, positive, etc. So, make sure you're getting out there and make sure you're

00:08:47.840 being a net positive contribution. You're not just one of the people following without saying anything.

00:08:53.960 So, you need to stand out by doing positive works. Number four, engender your creativity.

00:09:07.100 The sort of people you want to hang out with, the sort of men that you want to meet,

00:09:11.660 are going to be creative thinkers. Okay, whether or not they're educated. I mean, this is the big

00:09:18.260 thing we have today. We think that going to school and memorizing a bunch of stuff means you're

00:09:21.680 educated. Well, no, not at all. The difference between somebody that comes out of college with

00:09:28.660 a true education and somebody that doesn't is that the true education expects you to think for

00:09:34.700 yourself, expects you to find answers for yourself. It demands creativity, not just rote following of

00:09:42.740 the rules. So, you know, there's a bit of advice. If you're doing the first year of some course

00:09:48.780 and they're not, they're just expecting you to memorize what's in the textbook, they're not

00:09:54.400 expecting you to go out there and use Google and try and find information, then you're probably

00:10:00.060 not being educated. You're just being trained. So, engender this creativity. Just think of

00:10:10.020 possibilities. And not just for yourself. One of the things I try and do is just brainstorm ideas

00:10:18.060 for how my friends could make money. And if I come up with a good idea, I'll send them an email and

00:10:24.540 I'll say, hey, listen, I just had a thought. I don't know if you want to run with this or not,

00:10:28.300 but if you did X, Y, and Z, you might be able to make some profit off of that. That might be the sort

00:10:33.120 of thing that you'd be interested in. Yeah, I'm not trying to tell you what to do. Just a thought I had.

00:10:38.620 I'm just trying to be creative right now. Most people aren't going to take the advice

00:10:46.000 either because they don't want to succeed or because it's just, you know, it's a good idea,

00:10:53.500 but it's not for them. The point is to get these creative circuits, these creative juices flowing

00:10:59.200 so that you're the sort of guy that's seeing solutions, not problems.

00:11:08.620 And the final point, you need a purpose for the friendship.

00:11:19.020 Male friendships don't exist in a vacuum. They don't exist just for the sake of hanging out.

00:11:27.880 They do when you're a child, but even a child, who do you want to hang out with when you're a little

00:11:38.920 kid? Well, you want to hang out with somebody that plays the same games that you play.

00:11:46.540 You're the sort of kid that likes playing chess. You don't hang out with the sort of kid that likes

00:11:50.480 playing soccer. And play is just practice for adulthood.

00:11:59.240 In your early 20s, you tend to form hunting packs with other men. I mean, this is partly

00:12:06.560 a side effect of the fact that we've dissolved the social bonds and the natural patriarchy.

00:12:14.220 And so young men are kind of left on their own to try and figure out what the hell they're supposed

00:12:17.780 to do. But nonetheless, you form a pack with other guys. And usually what these guys are doing,

00:12:25.700 number one, going to the bar to meet chicks. Number two, maybe engaging in a hobby. Number three,

00:12:34.080 trying to swap advice about job opportunities or that sort of thing. But mainly it's you're pursuing

00:12:40.680 chicks. So again, we're looking at the childhood friendship. Very simple. You just need to like

00:12:47.180 the same toys. Young adult friendship. You just need to like girls. And that's what that's really 0.99

00:12:57.100 all. You need to like girls and you need to like drinking. When you start to get older, when you get

00:13:02.240 into your 30s and above, masculine friendship really becomes about achieving a goal. Because

00:13:12.440 that's what we do as men. We work. We achieve things. Now the normies. The normies don't want to achieve

00:13:23.460 anything. Okay? The normies are the ones that want to hang out. They want to smoke weed and watch

00:13:28.940 dude, where's my car. They want to just paddle along, using their credit cards to buy more stuff,

00:13:36.420 enslaving at the corporation while bitching about their job, but never doing anything about it

00:13:39.980 whatsoever. They want to be comfortable. They want to be comfortable living in the comfortable little

00:13:49.760 box. And right now the box is absolutely poison and it's eating them alive. It's not a box,

00:13:55.580 a pod from the matrix, but again, they would rather stay in the matrix than do anything creative,

00:14:02.760 do anything positive. So to really sum this whole thing up, to make a meaningful friendship with

00:14:14.120 somebody as an adult, you need to be useful yourself. You need to be a positive contributor.

00:14:21.560 You need to be going out there and being active in things. You need to be creative. You need to be

00:14:27.880 a creative thinker. And you need to find guys that are interested in building something with you.

00:14:38.000 Right? Guys that have built things already and that, the two of you, you might be able to work

00:14:44.460 together to build something. So if you want to find friends as an adult, you know, look to professional

00:14:53.720 organizations. Look to serious hobbies and bring something to the table so that you are worthy of

00:15:07.760 that friendship. And if you can get together and really have something worth building, then there you

00:15:13.800 go. Things will come together. What you don't want to be is the normie. Smoking weed, watching dude

00:15:22.620 where's my car, drinking bush light and hanging out with Hank Hill in his alley. You know, who's Hank

00:15:29.840 Hill's friends? Well, his three closest neighbors. All right? He does not have high standards for who his

00:15:35.600 friends are. If you want somebody interesting, you need to be achieving high things yourself and find

00:15:42.500 somebody else that you can achieve high things with. Best of luck, Anonymous. We all need it.

00:15:50.980 But you know, one last thing to keep in mind. Yeah, it was easier to find people that weren't idiots 0.99

00:15:56.840 50 years ago. But it was just as hard to find people that were geniuses. So now the scales have 0.99

00:16:04.740 come off. You can tell what people are. It just gets you that much closer to finding somebody worth

00:16:12.320 hanging out with. Deus Volt, thank you for your support. Irini, out.

Leo D.M.J. Aurini - September 12, 2018

How to Make Friends as an Adult Requested Video

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