How to Make Friends as an Adult Requested Video
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
144.30504
Summary
How do you make friends as an adult? How do you find men that you can relate to? How can you improve your social skills? What are some tools you can use to improve your ability to connect with other people?
Transcript
00:00:00.000
Good evening, folks. What do you think of the new spectacles?
00:00:07.260
I just picked them up from an online store called Zenni Optical, and it saved me about
00:00:12.620
a hundred bucks, which is why I'm mentioning it. There's a link down below. They're not
00:00:17.300
sponsoring this. They're just a really good place to order cheap, good quality glasses.
00:00:22.600
So check them out. And yes, I am aware of the fact that the 50% tint makes me look like
00:00:29.680
Ian Malcolm's cooler older brother. Now as to the person that is sponsoring this requested
00:00:36.480
video, he's going by anonymous, and he asks a question that I think a lot of us are struggling
00:00:44.140
with. And so I'm going to read the whole thing out. How do you make friends as an adult? I
00:00:52.760
feel like, given the current cultural climate, getting laid is easier than forging genuine
00:00:57.360
friendship with people who would resonate well with the audience that typically watches
00:01:01.340
your channel and similar content. I frequent online communities that center around, you
00:01:06.580
know, MGTOW, the red pill, manosphere, philosophy, not because the dynamics of relationships with
00:01:12.300
women intrigue me, but because this side of the internet has the strongest understanding
00:01:16.100
of the current culture war. You guys, yourself, turd-flinging monkey, rushby, etc., and thank
00:01:22.320
you for putting me in that company, discuss things with a level of nuance and intellectual
00:01:26.640
vitality that I can't even seem to approach in real life. And I've been in presumably intellectual
00:01:32.480
environments like Ivy League schools. I live in a big city in Canada, and the fact of the
00:01:38.120
matter is, most people discern truth at such a low resolution that there's no hope of them
00:01:43.160
ever achieving the levels of woke that I see within this community. There's just a stunning
00:01:47.460
lack of introspection, a general inability to articulate or make sense of the complexities
00:01:52.060
of things occurring to them, and a whole lot of intellectual dishonesty. I don't know, most
00:01:57.140
people just suck, and I can count on one hand the number of people I would consider true
00:02:00.600
friends, and they were people I met over the internet, though almost entirely coincidental
00:02:04.860
circumstances. Don't get me wrong, I'm a blessed individual in terms of the relationships
00:02:10.080
that I've built, but it'd be nice to make sense of the possibilities so that it doesn't
00:02:14.000
have to be luck that determines my interactions with others. So, this is going to be a video
00:02:21.560
about not relying upon luck, but relying upon intellect, social hacking, tools, things you
00:02:29.940
can apply to try and find men that you would want to forge real masculine friendships with.
00:02:37.720
So, I broke it down into five points. Now, the first point, and I don't think this first
00:02:48.440
point necessarily applies to anonymous asking the question, but I need to put this out there
00:02:53.540
just for the sake of completeness. Number one, consider therapy. Now, I can already see some
00:03:04.920
of you reacting to that. Here's the thing about therapy. Therapy is not going to give you closure.
00:03:11.800
It's not going to quiet your internal demons. It's not going to really help mental illness
00:03:17.520
or anything like that. That's not why I'm saying consider therapy. What therapy will do, if you need
00:03:26.440
it, is help you develop social skills that you might lack. I mean, guys, we're in the internet age.
00:03:33.640
A lot of people lack social skills. If you lack social skills, that's just an obstacle you need
00:03:39.720
to overcome. You know, maybe you need to go to physical therapy for this hand. Maybe you need
00:03:44.600
to go to social therapy to learn good techniques, good coping skills, etc. So, I'm just putting that
00:03:53.500
out there. And, you know, even if you don't need to actually start seeing a therapist, well,
00:04:01.640
maybe you need to pick up a copy of How to Make Friends and Influence People. You know, maybe you
00:04:08.400
need to read some of Roush's books on gain. You know, don't become a self-help junkie, obviously. But,
00:04:16.080
you know, there's some books out there that might give you the kick in the ass that you need to
00:04:20.840
improve your social skills to improve how you relate, how you behave around other people.
00:04:27.840
So, that's number one, is consider therapy, consider self-help. Now, let's get to the interesting
00:04:35.820
parts of the answer. Number two, look to yourself first. Now, what Anonymous is frustrated with
00:04:57.000
And guess what? Normies suck. You know, maybe 50 years ago, they were a little bit more sane,
00:05:03.760
but they weren't sane because they had arrived at these conclusions on their own. They were just
00:05:09.020
putting voice to the popular delusions at the time. Just so happened that back then, the popular
00:05:15.500
delusions were mostly good delusions. These days, the modern delusions are pure insanity.
00:05:26.560
But you're expecting too much from the normies. Okay, the thing is, even 50 years ago, yeah,
00:05:31.600
they wouldn't have been quite as insane, but they would still have been just as boring.
00:05:36.840
So, this is why you need to look to yourself, why are you surrounded by normies? Yeah, compared to
00:05:45.600
them, you're smart, you're well-educated, you're productive, etc. What about compared to the sort
00:05:52.740
of men you want to hang out with, the sort of men you want to meet? I will guarantee you that there is
00:06:01.060
some aspect of your life where you're not living up to your potential. You're not firing on all
00:06:07.380
cylinders. You're being lazy, you're being slothful, something's distracting you. You need to become
00:06:16.160
the sort of man that these men would want to hang out with. So, take a personal inventory of yourself
00:06:24.320
and say, am I doing everything with my career that I could be doing? Am I doing everything with
00:06:30.900
my lifestyle? Am I an interesting person? Because I'll guarantee you, there is a community of guys
00:06:39.220
out there that you could have riveting conversations with, right? I'm not going to say you're going to
00:06:44.660
find a soul brother at the drop of a hat, but you will find guys that have something interesting to
00:06:49.860
say. It might be within a limited domain, it might be a professional organization,
00:06:54.480
but there are people out there. You need to earn your way into that community.
00:07:03.680
Number three is related to this. Begin participating and contributing.
00:07:10.960
So, are you part of any extracurricular activities? Could be a soccer league, could be fencing,
00:07:24.780
could be hiking, could be professional organizations as well. You know, are you showing up to these
00:07:31.320
events and contributing? Are you investing in the event? Are you making the event better?
00:07:39.680
Because if you're just showing up, well, first of all, if you're not showing up,
00:07:44.480
you know, the first thing you need to do to win is to show up.
00:07:48.360
So, you need to start showing up. And if you're already showing up, but you're not
00:07:52.440
contributing to the events, then nobody's going to notice that you're there.
00:08:02.940
Let me put it really frankly, who do you think I remember from the comment section?
00:08:07.540
The people that are very witty and the people that give super chats.
00:08:15.700
Obviously, the people that are contributing. And, you know, I have stuff I do outside of YouTube
00:08:22.000
and I try and be engaged. I'm very busy with everything I'm doing, but, you know, I try and
00:08:27.920
put things together every once in a while. You know, people tend to know who I am and I try and bring
00:08:34.280
positive energy into their life. I try and fulfill something useful, something entertaining,
00:08:41.200
interesting, good, positive, etc. So, make sure you're getting out there and make sure you're
00:08:47.840
being a net positive contribution. You're not just one of the people following without saying anything.
00:08:53.960
So, you need to stand out by doing positive works. Number four, engender your creativity.
00:09:07.100
The sort of people you want to hang out with, the sort of men that you want to meet,
00:09:11.660
are going to be creative thinkers. Okay, whether or not they're educated. I mean, this is the big
00:09:18.260
thing we have today. We think that going to school and memorizing a bunch of stuff means you're
00:09:21.680
educated. Well, no, not at all. The difference between somebody that comes out of college with
00:09:28.660
a true education and somebody that doesn't is that the true education expects you to think for
00:09:34.700
yourself, expects you to find answers for yourself. It demands creativity, not just rote following of
00:09:42.740
the rules. So, you know, there's a bit of advice. If you're doing the first year of some course
00:09:48.780
and they're not, they're just expecting you to memorize what's in the textbook, they're not
00:09:54.400
expecting you to go out there and use Google and try and find information, then you're probably
00:10:00.060
not being educated. You're just being trained. So, engender this creativity. Just think of
00:10:10.020
possibilities. And not just for yourself. One of the things I try and do is just brainstorm ideas
00:10:18.060
for how my friends could make money. And if I come up with a good idea, I'll send them an email and
00:10:24.540
I'll say, hey, listen, I just had a thought. I don't know if you want to run with this or not,
00:10:28.300
but if you did X, Y, and Z, you might be able to make some profit off of that. That might be the sort
00:10:33.120
of thing that you'd be interested in. Yeah, I'm not trying to tell you what to do. Just a thought I had.
00:10:38.620
I'm just trying to be creative right now. Most people aren't going to take the advice
00:10:46.000
either because they don't want to succeed or because it's just, you know, it's a good idea,
00:10:53.500
but it's not for them. The point is to get these creative circuits, these creative juices flowing
00:10:59.200
so that you're the sort of guy that's seeing solutions, not problems.
00:11:08.620
And the final point, you need a purpose for the friendship.
00:11:19.020
Male friendships don't exist in a vacuum. They don't exist just for the sake of hanging out.
00:11:27.880
They do when you're a child, but even a child, who do you want to hang out with when you're a little
00:11:38.920
kid? Well, you want to hang out with somebody that plays the same games that you play.
00:11:46.540
You're the sort of kid that likes playing chess. You don't hang out with the sort of kid that likes
00:11:50.480
playing soccer. And play is just practice for adulthood.
00:11:59.240
In your early 20s, you tend to form hunting packs with other men. I mean, this is partly
00:12:06.560
a side effect of the fact that we've dissolved the social bonds and the natural patriarchy.
00:12:14.220
And so young men are kind of left on their own to try and figure out what the hell they're supposed
00:12:17.780
to do. But nonetheless, you form a pack with other guys. And usually what these guys are doing,
00:12:25.700
number one, going to the bar to meet chicks. Number two, maybe engaging in a hobby. Number three,
00:12:34.080
trying to swap advice about job opportunities or that sort of thing. But mainly it's you're pursuing
00:12:40.680
chicks. So again, we're looking at the childhood friendship. Very simple. You just need to like
00:12:47.180
the same toys. Young adult friendship. You just need to like girls. And that's what that's really
00:12:57.100
all. You need to like girls and you need to like drinking. When you start to get older, when you get
00:13:02.240
into your 30s and above, masculine friendship really becomes about achieving a goal. Because
00:13:12.440
that's what we do as men. We work. We achieve things. Now the normies. The normies don't want to achieve
00:13:23.460
anything. Okay? The normies are the ones that want to hang out. They want to smoke weed and watch
00:13:28.940
dude, where's my car. They want to just paddle along, using their credit cards to buy more stuff,
00:13:36.420
enslaving at the corporation while bitching about their job, but never doing anything about it
00:13:39.980
whatsoever. They want to be comfortable. They want to be comfortable living in the comfortable little
00:13:49.760
box. And right now the box is absolutely poison and it's eating them alive. It's not a box,
00:13:55.580
a pod from the matrix, but again, they would rather stay in the matrix than do anything creative,
00:14:02.760
do anything positive. So to really sum this whole thing up, to make a meaningful friendship with
00:14:14.120
somebody as an adult, you need to be useful yourself. You need to be a positive contributor.
00:14:21.560
You need to be going out there and being active in things. You need to be creative. You need to be
00:14:27.880
a creative thinker. And you need to find guys that are interested in building something with you.
00:14:38.000
Right? Guys that have built things already and that, the two of you, you might be able to work
00:14:44.460
together to build something. So if you want to find friends as an adult, you know, look to professional
00:14:53.720
organizations. Look to serious hobbies and bring something to the table so that you are worthy of
00:15:07.760
that friendship. And if you can get together and really have something worth building, then there you
00:15:13.800
go. Things will come together. What you don't want to be is the normie. Smoking weed, watching dude
00:15:22.620
where's my car, drinking bush light and hanging out with Hank Hill in his alley. You know, who's Hank
00:15:29.840
Hill's friends? Well, his three closest neighbors. All right? He does not have high standards for who his
00:15:35.600
friends are. If you want somebody interesting, you need to be achieving high things yourself and find
00:15:42.500
somebody else that you can achieve high things with. Best of luck, Anonymous. We all need it.
00:15:50.980
But you know, one last thing to keep in mind. Yeah, it was easier to find people that weren't idiots
00:15:56.840
50 years ago. But it was just as hard to find people that were geniuses. So now the scales have
00:16:04.740
come off. You can tell what people are. It just gets you that much closer to finding somebody worth
00:16:12.320
hanging out with. Deus Volt, thank you for your support. Irini, out.