Leo D.M.J. Aurini - February 12, 2012


Psychology V - The Borderline


Episode Stats


Length

15 minutes

Words per minute

125.76796

Word count

1,897

Sentence count

169

Harmful content

Misogyny

8

sentences flagged

Toxicity

18

sentences flagged

Hate speech

3

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

The difference between a narcissist and a borderline personality disorder sufferer. The difference between the two and why they are the most dangerous to have in your life. The borderline is a perversion of the phlegmatic personality type and the narcissist is an introvert.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 So the borderline personality disorder. If you look this one up, it's the hardest to explain. Or at least the psychologists have the hardest time explaining it.
00:00:13.500 They don't seem to know exactly what it is. Although there is a saying in therapy circles, you don't treat a borderline, you ignore the borderline.
00:00:26.000 They are the biggest assholes out there. But it's actually not too difficult to understand them. 0.99
00:00:36.000 And as I've said before, they are the most dangerous to have in your life because they can easily slip under the radar.
00:00:44.000 So I really hope I do a good job with this one because I spent a weekend in remand because I let a borderline in my life.
00:00:54.000 And I'd rather that the same thing doesn't happen to you.
00:00:59.000 So the borderline is a perversion of the phlegmatic personality type.
00:01:06.000 Now the phlegmatic, again, is introverted but very much a people person.
00:01:15.000 They go along with the scene around them.
00:01:21.000 They aren't controversial.
00:01:25.000 But they very much enjoy the company of other people.
00:01:31.000 They want to be around people.
00:01:34.000 And so they'll go to lots of different places that people congregate.
00:01:38.000 But they won't initiate anything.
00:01:43.000 They are the administrator, the bureaucrat.
00:01:50.000 They'll put themselves in a position where they can deal with other people without having to initiate the contact.
00:01:57.000 They do tend to care about other people a great deal.
00:02:02.000 They're the people that come to your party to have a good time.
00:02:06.000 They don't care what music plays.
00:02:08.000 They aren't going to start a conversation with other people.
00:02:12.000 But they like talking to other people.
00:02:15.000 They want attention, but they're afraid of attention at the same time.
00:02:22.000 And this is where the superego comes in.
00:02:27.000 Now if you've ever dealt with an HR person being extremely passive aggressive, this is once again that conflict between wanting attention but not wanting attention.
00:02:39.000 They want to interact with people, but they can't seek it out themselves.
00:02:44.000 So sometimes they'll just start a little stink so that you'll have to pay attention to them.
00:02:48.000 But generally when they're acting like a healthy, sane individual, they'll balance that need for attention with that innate taking offense to things.
00:03:00.000 Because it's very easy to offend a phlegmatic person.
00:03:05.000 They don't want you to compliment them directly.
00:03:08.000 They want you to appreciate them.
00:03:11.000 The narcissist wants you to compliment them directly.
00:03:14.000 The phlegmatic just wants to be appreciated.
00:03:18.000 And too much attention makes them nervous.
00:03:25.000 Now what happens when you pull those brakes off and get rid of the superego that gets them to balance their behavior?
00:03:35.000 Well, remember I said the histrionic is fundamentally bored all the time.
00:03:40.000 They have no id.
00:03:42.000 It's subsumed in their ego.
00:03:44.000 They're bored.
00:03:45.000 They have no purpose in their life.
00:03:47.000 The borderline, on the other hand, is pure id.
00:03:53.000 It is a pure swirling malstrom of love, hate, desire, pain, just constant with no release.
00:04:05.000 The narcissist seeks out constantly people to give themselves attention.
00:04:13.000 They define their reality and try to incorporate people into this.
00:04:19.000 The borderline is not an extrovert.
00:04:21.000 They have no ability to get other people, to go approach other people and pull them into the dynamic.
00:04:28.000 No.
00:04:29.000 No.
00:04:30.000 No.
00:04:31.000 The borderline is the swirling malstrom that needs other people to approach them.
00:04:38.000 They can't act.
00:04:40.000 They can only provoke.
00:04:42.000 Once again, the ego in the borderline is completely subsumed in the id. 0.95
00:04:52.000 This evil little lizard brain is what controls the borderline person. 1.00
00:04:58.000 And they won't lie. 0.98
00:05:02.000 They won't lie to accomplish a task.
00:05:06.000 Because they have no task.
00:05:08.000 And they won't lie because they have to be completely honest with themselves all the time.
00:05:15.000 Because the id feels what it feels at the time.
00:05:19.000 So, they are just this out of control little thing, this little black hole of attention.
00:05:28.000 They need your attention.
00:05:30.000 They are the perpetual victim.
00:05:33.000 Because the lizard brain does not care what sort of attention it gets.
00:05:38.000 It will take any sort of attention. 0.78
00:05:40.000 It will take a beating. 1.00
00:05:42.000 It will take a rape. 1.00
00:05:44.000 It will take anything as long as it's getting the attention. 0.95
00:05:48.000 They are this swirling malstrom.
00:05:50.000 And the only way that they can get anything out of people is by provoking people to act towards them.
00:05:59.000 Once again, a healthy person that wants attention and isn't extroverted seduces other people. 0.98
00:06:07.000 They show up at the party dressed nicely and stand there and wait for somebody to talk to them.
00:06:13.000 The borderline doesn't have an ego that can be this rational.
00:06:19.000 The borderline will insinuate themselves into other people.
00:06:24.000 They'll be a chameleon.
00:06:25.000 They have no real personality.
00:06:27.000 Unlike the narcissist who has a constantly constructed, fake personality, the borderline has no personality. 0.66
00:06:35.000 They are an absolute social chameleon.
00:06:38.000 They can go anywhere and be anyone.
00:06:41.000 They will be whatever the environment demands for.
00:06:46.000 And so they'll act like this person.
00:06:48.000 They'll suck you into their lives.
00:06:50.000 And then, when you're not paying enough attention to them, they'll start trying to provoke you.
00:06:55.000 See, they don't start violence. 0.83
00:07:05.000 They turn themselves into the victims of violence.
00:07:10.000 The FBI did a study on spousal abuse.
00:07:18.000 And one thing that they found is spousal abuse tends to follow not the male that did the violence, not the wife beater.
00:07:27.000 Men that beat their wives and get divorced tend not to beat any subsequent wives and tend not to have had abusive relationships in the past.
00:07:40.000 The violence follows the woman most times. 0.99
00:07:44.000 That a woman that was beaten by one husband will be beaten by the next and the next and the next.
00:07:53.000 Because ultimately, she is the one initiating this.
00:07:57.000 This is a borderline personality disorder that we're talking about.
00:08:00.000 They need the attention.
00:08:02.000 They need to be the victim. 0.95
00:08:05.000 They'll make frequent suicide attempts.
00:08:08.000 That's one sign of the borderline.
00:08:11.000 They'll make attempts at it.
00:08:14.000 Because if they're the victim, suddenly you're provoked in paying attention to them.
00:08:18.000 The doctors and the psychologists are provoked into paying attention to them because they're committing suicide.
00:08:25.000 Once again, this is why the doctors say that you don't treat a borderline, you ignore them.
00:08:35.000 If you do let them into your life, they will take offense at everything that you do.
00:08:40.000 And this is where it starts becoming really dangerous.
00:08:43.000 Because not only are they trying to provoke you into assaulting them and thus risking a prison sentence.
00:08:51.000 They're bringing you into the world of crazy.
00:08:54.000 I've mentioned pareidolia before.
00:08:57.000 Pareidolia is our innate urge to see patterns where there are no patterns.
00:09:04.000 We see a bunch of mountains on the Martian surface and it looks like a face to us.
00:09:08.000 Well, we're just as pre-programmed to assume that other people are real people.
00:09:15.000 With real emotions caused by real things.
00:09:21.000 The borderline's emotions have no cause.
00:09:24.000 They are pure swirling id.
00:09:26.000 And so they will get angry at you for going out and getting the mail out of the mailbox without inviting them along.
00:09:39.000 They'll get angry at you for not phoning them on a Saturday afternoon.
00:09:43.000 Because how are they supposed to know that you weren't dead in a ditch somewhere?
00:09:46.000 Or whatever.
00:09:47.000 It doesn't matter.
00:09:48.000 They will get angry with you and tell you how you victimized them for something that was completely and absolutely innocuous.
00:09:57.000 But here's the problem.
00:10:01.000 Your brain, as a sane person, is going to find patterns here.
00:10:07.000 And so you're actually going to feel guilty even though you did nothing wrong to them.
00:10:12.000 And soon enough, you start living in this cratered, chaotic world where you have no ability to judge what the impact of your own actions are.
00:10:27.000 You become completely convinced that everything that you did that was so evil and cruel and wrong to this borderline person.
00:10:35.000 You become convinced that you actually did do something wrong.
00:10:40.000 And meanwhile it just gets worse and worse with the borderline.
00:10:44.000 Because they can never have enough attention.
00:10:46.000 You going to work eight hours to support them is a form of abuse.
00:10:55.000 Because you're not giving them the attention they needed.
00:10:58.000 Because this is the week that their cat died a year ago and you should have taken time off work and why didn't you already know that? 0.99
00:11:05.000 And you feel like the asshole for not being there for them. 0.98
00:11:09.000 They will cry and scream and wake you up in the middle of the night and argue with you and do everything they can to get attention. 0.99
00:11:22.000 They don't care what sort of attention it is.
00:11:26.000 And the only type of attention that you can trigger easily at any given moment isn't love.
00:11:33.000 It's violence.
00:11:34.000 And then, when you finally, after months of this mental abuse, when you finally start to put the pieces together and try and run away from this person,
00:11:53.000 if they realize that you're moving away and they can't claw their way back into your life,
00:11:59.000 at that point, they find a new attention daddy.
00:12:04.000 And if it's a woman, it's going to be the legal system. 1.00
00:12:10.000 Doesn't matter what she thinks of cops.
00:12:12.000 She doesn't care how the cops treat her. 1.00
00:12:14.000 She wants abuse. 1.00
00:12:16.000 So she will make up a story and phone the police.
00:12:19.000 And like me, you'll get to spend $10,000 proving that the bruises on your face and the cigarette burns mean that you were the victim there.
00:12:32.000 Not the tiny woman without a mark on her body. 0.67
00:12:36.000 It took me a good year to become sane again.
00:12:47.000 Maybe longer.
00:12:49.000 Still dealing with a couple little issues from that.
00:12:51.000 Because that's the crazy thing about the borderline folks.
00:12:53.000 Is that they pull you into this world where up and down and left is right.
00:12:57.000 It's absolute insanity and pain and craziness and chaos.
00:13:05.000 Because they're just this black hole of emotional nihilism without any real humanity overlying things.
00:13:15.000 They have no ability to pull themselves together.
00:13:18.000 The best you can do with a borderline is put them in a very, very structured environment.
00:13:26.000 Where acting civilized gives them the only attention that they'll possibly get.
00:13:32.000 The best you can do with them is train them like a Pavlovian dog not to act like a psycho.
00:13:40.000 But the instant they get out of the mental institution, they're going to go psycho again.
00:13:43.000 They'll be able to find somebody that will believe that they're a victim.
00:13:48.000 And then the whole cycle starts anew.
00:13:53.000 Victim defines the borderline.
00:13:56.000 Eternal victim of circumstance who is never responsible.
00:14:03.000 And who will gladly tear up your world for the sake of feeding that little lizard that's inside there controlling their actions.
00:14:14.000 No personality disorder really deserves the respect due a real person in my mind.
00:14:20.000 They're all nothing but a tick-tock automaton.
00:14:24.000 Wound up and going through society causing havoc and pain and misery wherever they go.
00:14:32.000 With no true ability to reflect upon themselves or their actions and no cathartic value going on inside of them.
00:14:38.000 But of all of them, the borderline is the most dangerous because this is the one that will get inside your own head.
00:14:46.000 Run away from these people.
00:14:49.000 Do not let them into your lives. 1.00
00:14:51.000 I hope that was useful for you folks because these people are fucking dangerous. 1.00
00:15:00.000 Take care of yourselves. 1.00
00:15:02.000 Look out for your mental hygiene.
00:15:03.000 Marini out. 0.94
00:15:04.000 Marini out.