Leo D.M.J. Aurini - August 21, 2018


Relationships as Garnitures： How to Choose the Right Partner


Episode Stats


Length

8 minutes

Words per minute

131.4379

Word count

1,128

Sentence count

67

Harmful content

Misogyny

3

sentences flagged

Toxicity

2

sentences flagged

Hate speech

2

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Garniture is a term used to describe a collection of items that go together to create a cohesive whole. It's a term that has been around for a long time, and I think it has a lot to do with how we live our lives.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 So, here's a word that I'll bet none of you have ever heard before.
00:00:05.840 Garniture.
00:00:07.660 Now, if you look this word up, the first definition is going to be a collection, usually, of vases.
00:00:17.140 That's not how I ran into it.
00:00:19.600 Garniture was also a term used back in the late medieval to describe a decorative set of armor.
00:00:27.480 So, the sort of things that kings and higher-up nobles would wear, a set of full-plate armor with bronzing on it, paintings, etc. 0.83
00:00:37.320 It was a garniture in that every single piece of that armor, it's like, yeah, you could wear the greaves with a different breastplate, but it's going to look pretty stupid.
00:00:48.360 It's all meant to go together to create a cohesive whole. 0.97
00:00:57.480 Now, think for a minute.
00:00:59.680 Think for a minute about some of the lower class, the disordered people that you've met, whose houses you visited. 0.99
00:01:09.980 Often, when you were in elementary school or middle school, you'd go over to your friend's house, and it was completely chaotic.
00:01:20.700 None of the decor matched.
00:01:22.580 Nothing was consistent.
00:01:24.640 Their home was not a garniture.
00:01:28.140 It was an absolute madhouse.
00:01:32.100 And let me give you an example of this.
00:01:35.700 You know, I wonder how many of you remember Billy the Bass.
00:01:39.220 Billy the Bass was this gimmicky thing that came out about 15 years ago or something like that.
00:01:44.860 And it was a little wall-mounted trout that, when you pressed the button, it would start singing some classic song, and then the fish's head would come out and, you know, actually sing some of the words.
00:01:58.080 It was the sort of thing that you looked at it when it came out, and you're like, oh, that's cool.
00:02:04.720 And you're kind of tempted to buy it.
00:02:06.040 Now, all of the lower class people would go out and grab that thing, even though it didn't match anything else in their house.
00:02:17.440 I mean, if there's some guy that did a lot of fishing, and he bought that for the downstairs bar, then that's hilarious.
00:02:24.240 It fits in.
00:02:24.980 It's great.
00:02:25.480 But if you try and live an ordered life, then you want your home environment to be ordered as well.
00:02:37.060 So you don't have a psychedelic rock poster on one wall and a classical painting on another.
00:02:44.140 You want colors that complement one another.
00:02:47.420 You want a consistent art style throughout your home.
00:02:51.120 You want pieces that go together.
00:02:55.480 If you start buying every single thing that you see on the shelf, you're going to wind up with a riotous home life.
00:03:05.920 And you're going to wind up with an empty bank account.
00:03:09.700 Because rather than thinking closely about what sort of decor you want to buy for your house,
00:03:14.760 you're just going to buy whatever jumps out at you.
00:03:18.100 And then you're going to throw it out a year later and replace it with something else.
00:03:21.400 You're not going to have anything that you hold on to and make the most out of.
00:03:25.480 And so I think it's very important.
00:03:30.960 I think it's very important to have an ordered home, first of all.
00:03:35.300 And part of the way you do that is being selective about the decor.
00:03:40.720 You know, not blowing a huge wad of cash at the store to get matching everything,
00:03:46.060 but putting a little bit of thought into things.
00:03:52.400 This should be a project that takes you, you know, if you live in the same place, five, ten years.
00:03:59.560 Right?
00:04:00.040 You move out and you get the leftover cutlery from some previous collection.
00:04:05.800 And bit by bit, you get the implements for the kitchen, you make sure they all look good together, they all match.
00:04:12.720 You get artwork over time and it all matches.
00:04:15.760 On and on.
00:04:16.380 So this isn't one shopping spree where you blow all your money.
00:04:19.200 This is a long-term project of creating a home where all the objects d'art in it are a garniture.
00:04:28.340 And the same thing goes for your relationships.
00:04:40.320 There's that phrase, it's an excellent phrase, that you are the average of your five closest friends.
00:04:48.320 So what sort of people are you hanging out with?
00:04:54.140 But it's not just friends.
00:04:55.420 You know, as you grow, you'll find that your friends will, if you're growing in a positive direction,
00:05:02.640 they will reflect positive things about yourself.
00:05:05.860 Your circle of friends will make a lot of sense.
00:05:11.660 But what about relationships?
00:05:15.400 One of the big errors I think we make about romantic relationships these days
00:05:20.020 is that rather than looking at this person as a garniture,
00:05:27.080 as one part of the whole of your life, the entire tapestry,
00:05:32.800 we just look at that one person and ask,
00:05:36.000 am I in love with them?
00:05:38.000 Are they hot?
00:05:38.940 These are, maybe they're necessary questions.
00:05:49.920 Maybe, yes, they do need to be hot.
00:05:51.740 Yes, they do need to trigger a spark in you.
00:05:56.900 But if you don't look at the whole,
00:05:59.780 if you don't look at how does this person get along with my friends,
00:06:04.380 because if your wife doesn't get along with your friends, 1.00
00:06:07.500 then you're not going to be seeing your friends very much.
00:06:10.260 How does she get along with my parents?
00:06:12.960 Does she share, not necessarily the same,
00:06:16.720 but similar interests to me?
00:06:20.400 Does she fit into my life and make things better? 0.95
00:06:24.540 Because a wife or a husband, 0.96
00:06:26.240 this is going to be the mantelpiece,
00:06:27.340 this is going to be the center of the room.
00:06:29.740 And if you've got religious art all on your walls,
00:06:35.760 and you've got Billy the Singing Bass above your mantelpiece,
00:06:42.380 well, it doesn't matter how cool Billy the Singing Bass is,
00:06:45.800 now you've got an environment that's nothing but sheer chaos.
00:06:55.100 So when you're considering a spouse,
00:06:59.280 and actually I shouldn't even say spouse,
00:07:01.340 okay, guys, like you need to make this decision very early on.
00:07:05.000 You need to discern this very early on, okay?
00:07:11.280 When you're looking at this,
00:07:12.540 you need to ask yourself,
00:07:15.300 when you're just considering somebody,
00:07:17.460 considering going on a date with them,
00:07:20.260 would this person fit into the garniture of my life?
00:07:27.140 Now, a lot of people you won't know right away,
00:07:28.920 you do need to get to know them.
00:07:30.400 But if right off the bat,
00:07:31.880 yeah, I know she's not going to fit in,
00:07:33.600 but dude, she's hot, 1.00
00:07:35.800 you are asking for trouble.
00:07:38.440 You are creating a chaotic environment for yourself.
00:07:40.780 You are adding to the instability in your environment.
00:07:44.360 And quite frankly,
00:07:45.160 things are already so unstable,
00:07:47.420 and love is even worse,
00:07:50.620 that you're really making life absolute hell for yourself.
00:07:53.980 So,
00:07:56.020 think with the big head,
00:07:57.940 not the little head,
00:07:58.860 is, I guess,
00:08:00.100 what I'm trying to say.
00:08:01.960 Deus volt, folks,
00:08:03.340 Arini,
00:08:04.360 out.
00:08:04.780 out.
00:08:04.940 Thank you.