On today's show, we discuss the latest in the Trump administration's proposed budget, and the latest on Amy Schumer's new Netflix special. We also hear about a woman who's been accused of stealing material from other comedians, and a man who has more melanin in his skin than a woman.
00:07:06.000Not so much of a joke so much as let's bring it back to the fact that that joke is literally from the same woman who talks about being raped in non-consensual sex and believes that drunken sex can be raped along with Lena Dunham and their besties.
00:08:31.000Boosts for defense and border enforcement, which is no surprise to anyone, I don't think.
00:08:33.000And then some pretty serious cuts to government agencies like the Department of Labor, Agriculture, EPA, Foreign Aid, PBS, I'm happy about.
00:09:54.000I think, you know, as much as I started on PBS with Arthur, I don't think that we should be paying for Buster's Adventures at 9am to babysit your kids.
00:11:09.000And we've gotten so far off the beam now, where again, people just say, someone on Twitter said, if you believe that free healthcare, free college, and a living wage is insane, you're the crazy one.
00:11:20.000I'm sitting there like, you're the radical.
00:11:39.000If jet skis come in a Cracker Jack box in 30 years because we're all overrun living in Kevin Costner's water world, you can't just say a jet ski's not a luxury item, it's a fundamental human right.
00:14:31.000People who are least affected by the Hawaii boycott at this point are people who have already paid for their trips and those who have lives.
00:15:16.000The reason why boycotts work as opposed to boycotts, for example, if you look at Ivanka Trump, you look at maybe Chick-fil-A, You look at Joy Villa.
00:15:24.000These are things that Americans maybe weren't relying on, but opted.
00:15:30.000A lot of them probably don't even like Joy Villa's music.
00:15:32.000It's kind of a niche market for that music, but people are saying, you know what?
00:15:35.000I'll support it just because I hate that everyone else has given her so much crap.
00:15:39.000People don't need to buy Ivanka Trump branded clothing.
00:15:43.000They could buy it, but then you know what?
00:15:44.000Since I'm going to buy clothing, I'll buy that anyway.
00:15:46.000That's much more effective than trying to remove or boycott something like a Starbucks over a red cup That people get every day, and they've been getting every day for six years.
00:15:55.000So the boycott, the supporting with your dollar works more because it's a lot easier to go out of your way to support something in principle than to give something up that's a habit, and that's what we've seen time and time again.
00:20:20.000When you're talking about wearing vagina hats and pro-abortion and then pro-life women were not allowed, not even welcome at the Women's March.
00:21:27.000By the way, brave, when you're disrobed, is code for...
00:21:34.000How about idiots like this Texas lawmaker?
00:21:36.000Do you see this Texas lawmaker tried to troll pro-life conservatives and she's being praised by the feminist left for proposing a fine for masturbation, comparing that to abortion.
00:22:13.000And we're the ones who are anti-science.
00:22:19.000which is what leftists are fighting for at a 20, 22 week old baby ending that life is the same as a guy reading the playboy article about toxic masculinity and servicing himself.
00:22:30.000Clearly you think guys are jerks right now.
00:22:34.000They will be day of rage will not be reserved for Antifa anymore.
00:22:40.000In related news to this, actually, as soon as she proposed this legislation, most affected by it was the local Texas Allen High School football team, who immediately declared bankruptcy.
00:24:22.000I think like 10,000 people are going to be me, not Gay Jared, Iraq veteran, Colin Noir, Tim Kennedy, a full night, a gala of awards for basically the Second Amendment, top firearm of the year, firearm manufacturer of the year.
00:24:36.000Could be lots of video sketches, stand-up comedians, surprise guests.
00:24:39.000Think of like the Oscars, only without a bunch of pretentious douchebags awarding themselves for something They didn't do.
00:24:46.000This is an actual independent organization awarding firearm companies for all the great that they do.
00:24:51.000There's also kiosks going on there for a few days.
00:24:53.000But April 8th, that's the night of the gala, the awards ceremony.
00:24:57.000Not Gay Jared and I will be hosting it.
00:25:23.000Though ladies' work is often thought to be less meaningful, less fulfilling, and less productive than that of her hard-working male counterpart, the weaker sex earns her keep to the daily task of food preparation.
00:25:33.000Ensuring your hubby is fully satisfied is a daunting task.
00:26:04.000All right, glad to have our next guest You know him, you've seen him all over the television, and now you can see him on the computer screen here, where actually more people watch their computer screen now than the television.
00:26:32.000You know him, of course, as a famous sheriff and one of the few grown men who can pull off the cowboy hat look, and no one will question him.
00:26:40.000At Sheriff Clark, and his new book is out, Cop Under Fire.
00:26:43.000Sheriff, thank you so much for being with us, sir.
00:27:36.000They've been out of control for a while, I think, ever since the Obamacare decision where Chief Judge Roberts contorted some decision that both sides were kind of arguing against.
00:27:49.000And what happened in Washington, I think, was similar in that they disregarded precedent.
00:27:57.000They see precedent as sacred, usually.
00:28:00.000But when you get an activist court, they kind of wipe it away and start with a clean slate and start rewriting law.
00:28:05.000Now, people smarter than me in this stuff have said, you know, this was a violation.
00:28:10.000I think the Hawaii decision, too, it's a violation of the separation of powers.
00:28:14.000It is the executive branch that is empowered to protect this country.
00:28:18.000And, of course, it's not absolute, but Courts usually show deference when either Congress passes a law under their constitutional authority or the executive does something that, you know, former President Obama was doing the same thing and the courts had no problem with it.
00:28:37.000Well, I want to talk about those briefly.
00:28:38.000First off, you said starting with a clean slate.
00:28:40.000Some could argue a filthy slate over there in Hawaii right now.
00:28:43.000I do think, though, it's interesting that you talk about this, the executive power.
00:28:46.000There is executive power to protect the country with immigration, certainly during times of turmoil.
00:28:52.000That's something that falls under the legitimate purview of an executive order.
00:28:56.000Contrast that with the idea that people are now freaking out that PBS might lose some funding.
00:29:02.000It seems like we've lost track as to the legitimate role of government keeping terrorists out.
00:29:23.000And we've had eight years of disregarding the rule of law, the Constitution, some of the executive orders that were put forth by former President Obama that were designed to get around Congress's authority, especially in the area of immigration.
00:30:42.000And so sometimes people go, oh, he said this controversial thing, and then it's whether that was right or that was wrong, a lot like Donald Trump.
00:30:48.000And sometimes they miss the nuance, some insight in there.
00:30:52.000Leftists like to fancy themselves as the compassionate wing of the political spectrum today, right?
00:30:59.000And so this is this whole sort of the guise under which sanctuary cities are something they protect.
00:31:03.000But you've talked about how that affects the citizens of the city, not just the illegal immigrants, but including the law-abiding people who've maybe been undocumented in immigrating here.
00:31:15.000And that's something I'm amazed that more people don't talk about.
00:32:25.000But the third reason is And there's nothing wrong with this, but this is what gets the lefties undies in a bundle, if you will.
00:32:32.000You want to control the amount of refugees or even immigrants coming into the country because it's a strain on your limited resources.
00:32:43.000So you can't have this open borders and these large numbers of people coming in that are going to put a strain on things like schools, for instance, and other public services.
00:32:57.000We're talking about legal immigration.
00:33:00.000If you notice the left, whenever they talk about this, they never use the word illegal immigration, they just say immigration, because if they use the word illegal, they know that the majority of people in the United States, this has been polled, they are against illegal immigration, they believe in securing the border, and so their narrative falls apart.
00:33:19.000What I'm talking about, as the sheriff, Even more specific than that, it is criminal illegal aliens that are a scourge on our communities and our cities.
00:33:30.000The Kate Steinle one is probably the signature case.
00:33:32.000The woman in San Francisco was killed by a guy who had been deported five times.
00:36:39.000Yeah, if you had a child and you're like, hey, this child's misbehaving in my house, they'd be like, oh, that's really bad, let's fix that.
00:36:44.000But if you had some neighbor's kid in your house causing a rocket, you'd be like, why the hell are you here?
00:36:50.000It doesn't seem like they can relate to that on a basic level with Americans.
00:36:54.000And I do agree with you, the terms matter.
00:36:55.000You know, when I say, well, illegal immigrants are, they say, well, people aren't illegal.
00:36:59.000I say, what, you prefer the term criminal offense?
00:38:17.000Then they'll push to get them voting rights, so on and so forth, saying, well, they've established residency, they're living here, they have a driver's license.
00:38:24.000You just can't allow people to come and set up a residency.
00:38:28.000Well, they go in and they just fill out a form and ask for one.
00:38:50.000You know, the federal government cannot make the states enforce No one's talking about that, but there's a cost, and they can withhold federal funding up to 20%.
00:39:03.000The Supreme Court has ruled on this already, and they said up to 20%.
00:39:07.000I don't know how they came with that number.
00:39:09.000Federal funding they can withhold for not doing this, engaging in this assistance, if you will.
00:39:16.000And I've been doing it since I've been the sheriff.
00:39:17.000We were involved in secure communities under George W. Bush.
00:39:22.000Obama came in, and he got rid of that, and he got rid of the 287G program, but I was still allowing ICE officials to come into my jail every day and look at the booking information.
00:39:33.000That's all I was doing, giving them access.
00:39:36.000It was ICE officials that said, hey, these three guys here, these four guys here, whatever, we want to take a further look at them.
00:39:42.000If they're released under charges of bail, let us know.
00:39:46.000If they put that detainer, which is a lawful document, To hold a person, I would hold them until ICE got through with their investigation, and I got eviscerated by the pro-illegal immigration people locally for that as well.
00:39:59.000Well, now that we have a new president who's going to live up to this oath of carrying out the laws and executing the laws and following the Constitution, all of a sudden the left's running around like their hair is on fire.
00:40:13.000Just because previous presidents did not Follow the law does not mean that President Trump has to do the same thing.
00:40:30.000I signed my letter of intent to the acting director of vice last week.
00:40:36.000To participate in the 287G program, which would, after a certain amount of training, and there's some other steps that ICE will take, it will deputize my deputies that are trained to do so.
00:40:49.000So Deputy U.S. Marshals, and they'd be able to enforce immigration law.
00:40:53.000Look, there's a standard within the law enforcement code of ethics.
00:40:57.000One of the tenants is a code of ethics.
00:41:00.000It says, you will, or we will, Assist any lawful law enforcement entity in a pursuit of justice.
00:41:10.000That's what we're doing with ICE. We're assisting a legal, lawful law enforcement entity.
00:41:15.000So when I hear these chiefs coming along, and there were about 60 or so that signed some letter saying that this was going to hurt their community relations effort.
00:41:22.000And that's, you know, it's a great talking point.
00:41:24.000It's a great political statement, but it's a spore public policy decision in light of the crimes that are going on.
00:41:30.000But all of a sudden, they also say, but we also want the funding, too.
00:41:36.000So I would say, fine, chief, sheriff, and that community, you don't have to assist ICE or cooperate with ICE, but you're also going to lose funding.
00:42:46.000And if you've noticed, they've been thrown overboard by the Democrat Party, who, as you said, have now taken on women's issues and refugees and the Latino movement.
00:43:00.000And now it's gotten so bad that Black Lives Matter, who is out in North Dakota protesting at the Dakota Access Pipeline, they've had to take on environmental issues to keep the funding from Soros coming in and to stay relevant within the Democratic Party, because right now it's not an election cycle.
00:43:17.000The Democrats have made it clear, we only need blacks at election time.
00:43:20.000It's not an election cycle, so get lost.
00:43:22.000And so they've Black Lives Matter's grasp onto environmental issues, as if in the black community.
00:43:36.000I'm telling you right now, black people do not care about statehood for Palestine.
00:43:40.000That's another thing Black Lives Matter has taken up.
00:43:42.000And more money for, you know, green issues.
00:43:47.000When you're in the hood, the ghetto, those things are furthest from your mind.
00:43:52.000You're thinking about what's right in front of you.
00:43:54.000That's why I said, Black Lives Matter does not care about black life.
00:43:57.000No, I must have missed that House of Pain episode where they were sitting there going, we want to support Native American burial rights from energy companies.
00:47:04.000Join now for daily Lider with Crudder content and to avoid any more unpleasant unnatural surprise This was this is not caught up this is we were talking about this the wax on wax off of I've been watching Karate Kid lately, learning the ancient art of kata.
00:50:19.000Those are the ones I order, the machines.
00:50:21.000Well, it's a real problem, actually, on Instagram.
00:50:23.000As someone who's trained my whole life, and I know you did college athletics, it's pretty easy to spot someone who does those kinds of things.
00:50:49.000If I had my way, all the millennials would be juicing to be, ah, my kidneys.
00:50:54.000But P90X is what, you know, P90X is what, I jumped on that because those infomercials, you know, 15 years ago, I'm like, those guys are in legitimate shape, but they're not juicing, you know?
00:51:04.000Yeah, I'm pretty sure Tony Horton's under some kind of hormone replacement therapy.
00:52:09.000It's weird that you brought up the bathroom at the Red Roof Inn because my brother literally has a Yelp profile entirely devoted to public toilets.
00:52:54.000The thing with Amy Schumer now is the response.
00:52:56.000And Sarah Silverman and a lot of these comedians, what's his name?
00:52:59.000Ramsey, the guy on Silicon Valley, or the one guy who punched the pro-Trump Taxi driver, Seth Rogen.
00:53:06.000The difference seems to be the response where a lot of comedians now get upset and blame certain voters or blame a movement than just being like, ah, you don't like my comedy?
00:53:15.000The response is what makes it a story.
00:53:17.000Well, yeah, everything is so polarized, and, you know, I find it hard to believe people who vote like you and I do ordered her special in the first place or whatever, so, you know what I mean?
00:53:27.000I don't know who's saying it, but especially with comedy, I mean, when you do, you know, you stand up, when you kill in a room, like I always do, I, uh, it's always, it's a joke, folks.
00:53:38.000No, I gotta, honestly, I gotta imagine, I can't picture you bombing.
00:53:42.000If I bomb, it's usually because I, you know, drop the C word on somebody three minutes into the act or, Make fun of a cancer patient up front.
00:53:57.000But my point is, even when you leave that night, you know somebody in that audience thought you were the funniest person they have ever seen in their life.
00:54:07.000And even if you killed, there's somebody in there who said, what a waste of time that was.
00:55:43.000Everyone who we had watched, it's like, it didn't take more than one minute and 40 seconds to get beyond a vagina joke, or I had so much sex joke.
00:56:07.000You know exactly what I'm talking about.
00:56:10.000So you're an R-rated comic, for lack of a better word, but you'll talk about politics, you'll talk about your wife, you'll talk about family.
00:56:17.000This thing could only be attractive, really, or relatable to college bar sluts.
00:56:24.000And I think that people have just, you know, no one wants to see a close to 40-year-old person talk about their widespread vagina or heavy flow.
00:57:28.000Imagine if you went on there, someone said, I didn't like Nick DiPaolo's latest special on CISO, and you went on Instagram and you're like, oh, you haters, you only make me soar like an eagle so I can look down at your miserable...
00:57:38.000Just shut up and just go do another show.
00:58:17.000Samantha Bee got so much crap because she pointed out Nazi hair at CPAC, and it turns out the kid had cancer.
00:58:23.000And so we said it, and she also falsely accused this young gentleman of being a skinhead, and it was just a picture of a kid with progeria.
00:58:29.000And people were like, I can't believe that was the lead with the show.
01:00:29.000And then last night when he's giving a speech, In Nashville, he's doing his rally, and he starts to read the statute that says that his travel ban should be legal.
01:02:49.000He wrote an article saying when women are having sex with their husbands, they're secretly fantasizing about being raped by three guys at once.
01:02:56.000And that's when I realized he's a true socialist.
01:02:58.000Even in his rape fantasies, we have to share them with them.
01:03:03.000I don't know about you, but when it comes to vagina, I am a dictator.
01:03:48.000Yeah, and then everyone, whenever we have someone on, we have like, you know, Ted Cruz on and Gary Sinise, they always inevitably get an email.
01:03:53.000And if someone's saying like, are you sure you want to do this show?
01:03:56.000Here's them saying, and they'll have a highlight reel of our most offensive bits.
01:05:16.000It's one of those things, Gavin McGinnis talked about this, where we're at a point in this country where the left and the right are saying the exact same thing with different attitudes.
01:05:23.000And the budget to me is just like, you know, he wants to increase military spending, but decrease spending on the EPA and PBS. Yeah.
01:05:30.000And we're going, he wants to increase military spending and decrease funding to PBS and the EPA. That's a beautiful bet right there.
01:05:37.000That's Gavin McGinnis, and he talked about it on the show, I think it was last week.
01:09:39.000It's one of those that when someone trots them out and goes, did you, when everything is offensive a few years from now and even less is permissible and people come out and say, did you say X, Y, and Z? I know that when that day comes, I'm going to have to look you in the eye and say...
01:09:59.000And speaking of the path that we're on, you know, we were talking earlier, we were talking about feminism and toxic masculinity in the budget.
01:10:05.000And you were talking about this too, with feminism, you know, during the break, you made a good point that it really does.
01:10:09.000We've talked about this with the idea of rape culture and obfuscating statistics.
01:10:14.000It does a disservice to actual feminists who are fighting for women to be independent and treated well.
01:10:30.000Well, toxic masculinity can be anything from actual sexual assault to saying, hey, that blouse looks nice or holding a door open for a woman.
01:10:54.000But they've assaulted him intellectually for so long.
01:10:59.000Everything that conservatives have done has been wrong.
01:11:02.000The last president increased the debt more than all other presidents before him combined.
01:11:07.000You can only push so far so long that this is people like Donald Trump and us coming back, roaring back a lot harder than we would have if you'd have just let up a little bit.
01:12:00.000When it's Black Lives Matter and you need to check your privilege, you can only do it for so long.
01:12:04.000When it's in Playboy magazine, Toxic Masculinity, when you blame straight white men, namely straight white men because we're considered to be the majority class, which is so funny.
01:12:13.000At this point, they are not a majority anywhere, right?
01:12:16.000Women make up more of the population than men.
01:12:18.000And then if you believe Hollywood, which is, I think, 142% of all straight men are actually gay, or even smaller percentage, if you want to believe their demographics.
01:12:29.000And the left, you're going to just have to eat a big old pile of feces for a while because you've been pushing so hard, so fast.
01:12:36.000You've been pushing the biggest deficits ever, the biggest spending ever, the biggest stimulus bills ever, the biggest bailouts ever.
01:12:42.000And then you've been pushing the biggest idea of racism ever.
01:12:44.000And then overnight, when you realize you had a female candidate, everyone who was racist all of a sudden became sexist, and they need to check their male privilege.
01:12:50.000We went from white privilege to male privilege, and now you're at cis privilege because trannies need to take a dump in every public bathroom.
01:12:55.000And if you don't believe it, you're somehow hateful.
01:12:57.000You can only push this for so long and browbeat someone for so long when they want to open up their men's magazine, FHM, or Playboy, and they're blamed for something that they didn't do.
01:13:07.000This is the reckoning of that, where they close it and say, you know what?
01:13:23.000You've been poking your finger in the chest of a bigger brother.
01:13:25.000And let's be honest, conservatives, as a general rule...
01:13:27.000We're bigger, larger, more athletic, and the women are better looking.
01:13:30.000So you've been picking a fight with someone who can kick your ass.
01:13:33.000It's like when you were goading your brother into a fight, but you kind of wanted to scale back when you were a kid because you were smart enough to realize that if you really insulted him, if you really got personal, he was going to kick your ass even harder.
01:13:43.000Well, today's regressive left has gotten as personal, as vicious, as vindictive, as violent as possible.
01:13:49.000And now the pummeling, which would have been maybe a light bruising circa intro to the wonder years, is now going to be tinfoil scraped across your forehead like a fake wrestling fight in the backyard because you've earned this and you continually earn it.
01:14:05.000It's not that people like us love Donald Trump that much.
01:14:08.000It's not that we think this budget is perfect.
01:14:10.000It's not that we think men are perfect.
01:14:12.000It's that we think you are so horrible and have been so bad for so long that you have a show like this, which would have never existed only five, six years ago, where we can have a black sheriff on the show, a sitting senator, Nick DiPaolo, then Gary Sinise, then George Nick DiPaolo, then Gary Sinise, then George St. Pierre, that we can have A-listers and politicians who are willing to come on this show now or any kind of programming like this because you've blamed them for so much crap.