Louder with Crowder - October 27, 2018


#408 SPOOKTACULAR AT U of MICHIGAN! #CrowderUofMTakeover | Louder With Crowder


Episode Stats

Length

1 hour and 34 minutes

Words per Minute

188.76712

Word Count

17,914

Sentence Count

1,695

Misogynist Sentences

109

Hate Speech Sentences

83


Summary

Steven Crowder is a self-styled comedian and stand-up comic from Detroit, Michigan. In this episode, he talks about Bill Cosby's sexual assault scandal, the U.M. scandal, and the new law that was passed in the wake of the Cosby scandal.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Sorry.
00:00:00.000 Wow.
00:00:29.000 How are you, Senator?
00:00:32.000 I am doing terrific.
00:00:34.000 What the actual hell?
00:00:35.000 Why is a man in a woman's restroom?
00:00:41.000 You're gonna have to leave.
00:00:43.000 Steven Crowder is a self-styled comedian.
00:00:45.000 Because that's bullshit!
00:00:47.000 Bill Cosby says that being declared a sexually violent predator is going to damage his reputation.
00:00:51.000 Not available for comment were all the women that he raped.
00:00:58.000 Hold on, you're f***ing me!
00:01:02.000 Those guys are dicks.
00:01:06.000 Nailed it!
00:01:08.000 Would you like to change my mind?
00:01:08.000 I disagree.
00:01:11.000 Wouldn't it be great if men didn't rape?
00:01:12.000 Yeah!
00:01:13.000 Hello, this is Canada.
00:01:20.000 TINGLEY UP MOTHERFUCKER!
00:01:25.000 Time to listen up you silly liberal fruitcakes.
00:01:31.000 Is he gonna check his privilege?
00:01:43.000 That's not going to happen.
00:01:45.000 All right, U of M!
00:01:46.000 You tell them Crowder's coming and Hell's coming with me, you hear?
00:01:50.000 Hell's coming with me!
00:01:56.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:01:57.000 Ha, ha.
00:01:59.000 Make some noise, U of M. Come show them some love.
00:02:03.000 Welcome to Louder With Crowder.
00:02:06.000 All you gangsters and free speech thugs, show them hands, let me sneak them mugs.
00:02:11.000 Hey now, welcome to Detroit City.
00:02:14.000 I said welcome to Detroit City.
00:02:16.000 Every place, everywhere we go.
00:02:19.000 Yeah, they bitch trying to ban our show.
00:02:21.000 But it's going down in Detroit City.
00:02:24.000 Louder with crowder in Detroit City.
00:02:28.000 Ooh.
00:02:29.000 Uh, Ann Arbor's, uh, it's not really the same.
00:02:32.000 Like, what do y'all mean?
00:02:34.000 Like, well, like, they don't really like to be associated... They don't like to be associated with Detroit.
00:02:37.000 Not at all.
00:02:37.000 Yeah, okay, but isn't it, like, like a suburb, yo?
00:02:40.000 Nah, no, not really.
00:02:40.000 No, they don't feel that way.
00:02:42.000 I mean, they have, like, their own zip code.
00:02:44.000 734!
00:02:44.000 I believe, right?
00:02:45.000 Yeah, exactly, exactly, yeah.
00:02:46.000 I mean, it's really kind of its own... It's kind of its own thing.
00:02:56.000 I guess I had the wrong zip code, but we comin' now to do our show.
00:03:01.000 I said, welcome to Ann Arbor City.
00:03:04.000 It's not Detroit, it's Ann Arbor City.
00:03:07.000 Yeah, yeah, I know.
00:03:09.000 It's Detroit's two syllables.
00:03:11.000 Ann Arbor is three.
00:03:13.000 I see.
00:03:13.000 Yeah, it's two.
00:03:14.000 It's hard.
00:03:15.000 It's only two.
00:03:15.000 I see the problem.
00:03:17.000 A2!
00:03:18.000 Yeah, all the locals, they call it A2.
00:03:19.000 Yeah, I mean, that's right.
00:03:21.000 It's like Ann Arbor.
00:03:22.000 That's two.
00:03:25.000 So it's A2.
00:03:30.000 Hey now, welcome to A2 City.
00:03:32.000 I said welcome to A2 City.
00:03:35.000 Every place, everywhere we go.
00:03:38.000 Yeah, they want, try to ban our show.
00:03:40.000 But we're here now in A2 City.
00:03:43.000 Louder, we're prouder in A2 City.
00:03:46.000 Click, click, boom!
00:03:47.000 Get to zone as I hit the room!
00:03:48.000 You can hear me holla more club in this bitch!
00:03:51.000 Let me hear you holla more club in this bitch!
00:03:53.000 Let me hear you holla more club in this bitch!
00:03:56.000 So who you gonna call on when you wanna have a laugh with me?
00:03:59.000 And to tell you that ain't nothing to get me funny, gotta apologize now like a motherfuckin' punk!
00:04:05.000 That curtain's off at the power center now.
00:04:07.000 From A to Trick Trick, quick come and show off.
00:04:10.000 Bring the mug scum, join the club, buy em out front.
00:04:12.000 Drink the punk stuff in this bitch bin and I jump cause they chumps.
00:04:16.000 And we may have to let their ass off.
00:04:18.000 Now uh, don't it seem a little fishy?
00:04:19.000 And I don't like the way these trainers keep screaming at me.
00:04:22.000 But U of M gets me.
00:04:23.000 If their boys went up to win, I'd see a water tower.
00:04:26.000 Yeah, I see it all up looking like a penis.
00:04:28.000 Come on U of M, let me see them hands in the sky.
00:04:31.000 Free speech in and up until we die.
00:04:33.000 All you gangsters and free speech thugs.
00:04:36.000 Throw them hands and we show them mugs.
00:04:38.000 Hey now, welcome to A2 City.
00:04:41.000 I said welcome to A2 City.
00:04:44.000 Every place, everywhere we go.
00:04:46.000 Yeah, they whine, try to ban our show.
00:04:49.000 But we're here now in A2 City.
00:04:51.000 Louder with Crowder in A2 City.
00:04:54.000 I'm the trucker, it's the producer, I'm a quarter black.
00:04:57.000 I think it's time to hear what all my quarter n****s say.
00:05:00.000 Oh no!
00:05:01.000 What the f*** is wrong with you?
00:05:02.000 Dude, don't do the hard arm!
00:05:04.000 Dude, don't do the hard arm!
00:05:05.000 It's 8-2!
00:05:06.000 It's 8-2, bro!
00:05:06.000 Let's eat too!
00:05:09.000 You of them, put your mugs in the air for...
00:05:12.000 Steven Crowder!
00:05:16.000 Woo!
00:05:19.000 Woo!
00:05:21.000 Yeah!
00:05:23.000 Pump it!
00:05:36.000 Woo!
00:05:38.000 I'm gonna eat you man, after that spill!
00:05:44.000 Woo!
00:05:45.000 Yeah!
00:05:46.000 Yeah!
00:05:48.000 Oh, you got it.
00:05:50.000 That is going to be a very uneven MAGA helmet.
00:05:53.000 Oh, you know.
00:05:54.000 Oh, University of Michigan, glad to be here!
00:05:55.000 Woo!
00:05:56.000 Woo!
00:06:00.000 All right, and let's let them hear you in the overflow room.
00:06:03.000 They couldn't get tickets, but they are waiting there at Pierpoint Commons.
00:06:06.000 What is it?
00:06:06.000 Yeah, Pierpoint Commons.
00:06:12.000 Yeah, man.
00:06:13.000 They're like, we don't love them that much.
00:06:16.000 Oh, you know.
00:06:17.000 For people watching on YouTube, you guys can grab a seat.
00:06:19.000 You don't have to stand this whole time.
00:06:22.000 What are you, the Raelians?
00:06:22.000 Yeah.
00:06:24.000 I'm not- Oh man.
00:06:28.000 Oh, man.
00:06:31.000 I'm not going to be passing around a cup everybody passes out after this.
00:06:33.000 You can sit.
00:06:34.000 It makes me very uncomfortable.
00:06:36.000 If you stay standing like that, it gives the protesters every reason to show up, OK?
00:06:42.000 We are streaming live.
00:06:42.000 Question obviously not only to you guys, but everyone out there on YouTube.
00:06:45.000 Obviously a lot of talk about bombs lately.
00:06:47.000 No one here supports that, I'm pretty sure.
00:06:50.000 Unfortunately, the blame game is being played.
00:06:52.000 You've seen this from Donald Trump's rhetoric to the media.
00:06:55.000 What do you think?
00:06:56.000 Do you think the blame rests squarely on the shoulders of the guy who sent the bomb?
00:06:59.000 Or people?
00:07:00.000 Or Zs?
00:07:00.000 I don't know.
00:07:02.000 Also, if you're on YouTube, a very popular answer is, quote, the Jews.
00:07:06.000 So that's always...
00:07:08.000 Yeah.
00:07:09.000 You can't get around it.
00:07:10.000 You cannot get around it on the YouTube.
00:07:12.000 Hey, everyone, really quickly, let me see your phones.
00:07:14.000 Show your phones.
00:07:15.000 We have some press here tonight in Ann Arbor.
00:07:17.000 There you go.
00:07:18.000 Thank you.
00:07:18.000 What I want you to do is grab some pictures, Instagram, whatever you want to do.
00:07:22.000 CrowderUofMTakeover is the hashtag.
00:07:24.000 Let the press know that you are every bit as much the President of the United States of America today, that you will cover this story.
00:07:33.000 And, uh, we have a promo code.
00:07:34.000 U of M. You get $30 off Mug Club if you join up.
00:07:36.000 Blog.org.com slash Mug Club.
00:07:37.000 For people who don't know, if any Mug Clubbers in the house?
00:07:43.000 And we'll be talking a little bit later, a dive-in segment.
00:07:45.000 I think they call it now.
00:07:46.000 We always called it a meat segment about college conservatism.
00:07:49.000 The statistics might surprise you.
00:07:50.000 But leading the news, we have to talk about this.
00:07:53.000 First, President Trump held a rally in Wisconsin where he addressed the recent bomb scares.
00:07:57.000 You guys might have seen this.
00:07:58.000 He called for unity, which I thought was pretty nice.
00:08:02.000 Many, of course, are immediately accusing him of very quickly pivoting to attacking his political opponents rather than actually unifying.
00:08:08.000 And given his speech, You know, we have an exclusive clip.
00:08:12.000 You be the judge.
00:08:13.000 We want all sides to come together in peace and harmony.
00:08:19.000 We can do it.
00:08:20.000 Even lying Ted.
00:08:22.000 Crazy Bernie.
00:08:23.000 Folk the Hottest.
00:08:25.000 She can do it.
00:08:27.000 And even that lying, filthy whore Hillary Clinton.
00:08:30.000 She can do it.
00:08:33.000 No!
00:08:33.000 Yeah.
00:08:34.000 No, he doesn't have a hang of it yet.
00:08:36.000 Don't encourage his behavior.
00:08:39.000 Wait, hold on, I'm actually receiving word that we have, uh, right now, right now we have breaking footage of the caravan, of course, you know, with migrant children and women seeking a better life here in the United States, uh, we go now to have some coverage.
00:08:49.000 Yeah, give me one second.
00:08:50.000 Criminals is everywhere, okay?
00:08:53.000 Uh, is criminals in here?
00:08:56.000 I mean, it is.
00:08:57.000 Right, that almost seems the opposite of what I told you.
00:09:02.000 Yeah, I would say so, I would say so.
00:09:03.000 It's almost like I lied to you.
00:09:06.000 I make no apologies.
00:09:08.000 Turning to international news, my home country of Canada, where I was raised... Alright.
00:09:13.000 I love... I love how the one whoo was immediately BOO!
00:09:21.000 No!
00:09:22.000 Down!
00:09:23.000 Shame!
00:09:24.000 We're conservatives, we believe in shame!
00:09:29.000 So turning to international news, Canada has already nearly run out of marijuana immediately after legalizing it.
00:09:36.000 There you go.
00:09:37.000 Yeah.
00:09:38.000 There you go.
00:09:40.000 And uh...
00:09:42.000 What? No! No!
00:09:44.000 Oh yeah, baby!
00:09:46.000 Woo!
00:09:48.000 Oh, God.
00:09:49.000 Gotta have the wine of the day, Steven!
00:09:50.000 Come on, man!
00:09:51.000 Ladies and gentlemen, Gerald Morgan Jr., At-Key Morgan Jr.
00:09:54.000 What is this?
00:09:55.000 What's the wine of the day?
00:09:58.000 Can you stop with the tea time music for crying out loud?
00:10:01.000 Hey, I thought it fit.
00:10:02.000 He's already embarrassed enough.
00:10:03.000 He's him.
00:10:03.000 A little Cabernet Sauvignon.
00:10:05.000 Cabernet Sauvignon that we have here, yeah.
00:10:07.000 Well, come on!
00:10:07.000 You said... Wow!
00:10:11.000 Rules change when you're on a college campus, I guess.
00:10:13.000 Yeah, no, this is grape juice.
00:10:14.000 We had to make sure that we, uh... Oh, yeah, yeah.
00:10:16.000 By the way, everyone, give a round of applause to your campus police here.
00:10:18.000 They've been doing a fantastic job.
00:10:22.000 Yeah!
00:10:26.000 And you never want to speak ill of anyone in blue, but, you know, unlike those sons of bitches at University of Illinois who wouldn't even show up!
00:10:31.000 Thank you, you man, we appreciate it!
00:10:33.000 Alright, baby.
00:10:35.000 Alright, you already stepped on one joke, grab a seat.
00:10:36.000 Okay.
00:10:37.000 This is what I do for the show.
00:10:38.000 Let's try this again.
00:10:39.000 Too cute Maddie on overlays, by the way.
00:10:41.000 Isn't she just, she's too cute, it makes me want to throw up.
00:10:44.000 No!
00:10:45.000 No, don't encourage it!
00:10:45.000 I'm throwing up right now.
00:10:46.000 She needs to age a little bit.
00:10:48.000 She needs to feel some shame, make some bad decisions, then we can have her on our team.
00:10:51.000 Yeah.
00:10:53.000 I threw up in my mouth.
00:10:54.000 She's just too cute.
00:10:55.000 Look at that.
00:10:55.000 It's like, I'm in Cobra Kai?
00:10:59.000 Damn it, Too Cute Maddie.
00:11:00.000 OK, turning to international news, Canada.
00:11:03.000 Nearly run out of marijuana immediately after legalizing it.
00:11:06.000 Thank you, Too Cute Maddie.
00:11:07.000 Direct quote, problem started on the first day, said Patrick Wallace.
00:11:12.000 It's a mess.
00:11:13.000 Wow.
00:11:13.000 The supply is just a mess.
00:11:14.000 He's the owner of a 420 store.
00:11:16.000 And many of you may not know this.
00:11:17.000 Gerald knows this because he played football at Notre Dame and spent a lot of time here on Away Games.
00:11:22.000 Come on.
00:11:25.000 Go blue!
00:11:26.000 Let's go, baby!
00:11:27.000 Woo!
00:11:30.000 That's worse pandering than Hillary Clinton's, hot sauce!
00:11:33.000 No, if they win, that makes our victory better.
00:11:34.000 Quick, what if she says hot sauce and then stab her with a diazepam pen?
00:11:36.000 Hot sauce!
00:11:38.000 Hot sauce!
00:11:39.000 Go blue!
00:11:40.000 It's like a bird.
00:11:43.000 Oh, come on.
00:11:44.000 Now I know why Hillary Clinton does it.
00:11:46.000 Now I know why she does it.
00:11:47.000 She's like a bald eagle in an oil spill.
00:11:49.000 Just, hot sauce!
00:11:51.000 Hot sauce!
00:11:52.000 And many of you may not know, but he knows because he played it.
00:11:54.000 I love also, by the way, that Notre Dame didn't get as big of a boo as the one person from Canada.
00:12:00.000 That's right, baby.
00:12:00.000 It's like, Notre Dame, boo!
00:12:02.000 Canada, boo!
00:12:07.000 It still is, kind of.
00:12:10.000 Alright, so many of you may not know this.
00:12:11.000 You do, because you play a lot of away games here in Ann Arbor.
00:12:13.000 Actually, Canada followed the municipality of Ann Arbor's lead on marijuana laws.
00:12:18.000 Which, let's be honest, given the Canadian Prime Minister, really shouldn't surprise anybody here.
00:12:26.000 Yeah, Mr. City Commissioner?
00:12:29.000 Yes, I'm happy to say that Canada definitely did follow Ann Arbor's lead.
00:12:37.000 I can hear you.
00:12:38.000 Yeah, it seems to be working out really well.
00:12:46.000 Listen, let me ask you.
00:12:47.000 Do you find that when people are completely ripped, uh, and you're born, they don't even notice the Muslim rape?
00:12:53.000 ...
00:13:08.000 I should have cut it earlier.
00:13:09.000 I do appreciate, though, the laugh at the Dearborn Islamic rape joke, so that'll go far.
00:13:15.000 Tells me the kind of crowd you are.
00:13:17.000 Canada gets a boo, that gets a...
00:13:22.000 We should probably get rid of that camera in his office, by the way.
00:13:24.000 That's very helpful.
00:13:25.000 And by the way, listen, I do want to, we're seriously talking about, what's your opinion here on the bombs that have gone out recently?
00:13:31.000 This is obviously, we don't have a lot of info yet, and I don't know how many of you watch the show, but we typically don't comment on situations where there isn't a ton of info, because you always, almost always end up being embarrassed.
00:13:40.000 Oh yeah, you gotta wait, you gotta wait for the info.
00:13:42.000 So Gerald, you go ahead, you take the lead.
00:13:43.000 You definitely have to wait to get some more information, but I, look, if If it's somebody from our political standpoint and they think that's the way that we're going to advance our agenda, that's not going to work.
00:13:51.000 Our ideas can stand for themselves.
00:13:53.000 The Democrats and the Liberals cannot.
00:13:55.000 I agree.
00:13:55.000 We don't have to do that.
00:13:56.000 There we go.
00:13:57.000 Thank you, Gerald.
00:13:58.000 Get the hell out of here.
00:13:59.000 Get out of here.
00:14:00.000 You're paying for that entire bottle.
00:14:01.000 I'm putting it on your tab tonight.
00:14:03.000 Let him hear you, by the way.
00:14:04.000 They say people like us don't exist.
00:14:06.000 They talk about the alt-right and crazy conservatives.
00:14:08.000 by round of applause, who here is against bombs no matter who it is, whether it's the
00:14:12.000 Clintons, the Obamas.
00:14:19.000 We don't want anyone on the other side getting hurt.
00:14:22.000 Except Robert De Niro, maybe a little bit.
00:14:24.000 A little bit.
00:14:24.000 Not a lot.
00:14:25.000 Just a little bit.
00:14:25.000 Someone like give him a mousetrap, like snap.
00:14:27.000 Hey, was that a mousetrap for me?
00:14:29.000 Yeah, it was for you.
00:14:31.000 You haven't done good work since Cape Fear, you.
00:14:33.000 Hey.
00:14:36.000 Switching to entertainment, kind of.
00:14:38.000 Caitlyn Jenner said that he, she, zee.
00:14:42.000 I'm just trying to make sure that I get everybody offended right off the bat.
00:14:46.000 He wants to play a Marvel villain.
00:14:49.000 This comes from comicbook.com.
00:14:51.000 Direct quote.
00:14:53.000 Oh, stop!
00:14:54.000 Save it for Canada!
00:14:57.000 No, no, no, seriously.
00:14:59.000 Save it for Canada or D.C., okay?
00:15:03.000 Aquaman talks to fish.
00:15:06.000 Quote from comicbook.com, I want to play the baddest ass lady you've ever seen in your life.
00:15:10.000 I got the wicked queen or the wicked lady just to do the makeup on the outfit, and I've got the deep voice.
00:15:17.000 Well, you've got part of that.
00:15:20.000 So quick to oblige, of course, and jump on the LGBTQ bandwagon, Marvel actually announced their newest supervillain in the Marvel Universe to be Caitlyn Jenner.
00:15:31.000 Yeah, that makes sense.
00:15:32.000 That seems, yeah.
00:15:34.000 Yeah, I can see it.
00:15:37.000 I see it.
00:15:38.000 I could see it.
00:15:39.000 I mean, I'd watch it.
00:15:41.000 I'd watch, yeah.
00:15:42.000 I wouldn't.
00:15:43.000 I would hope you'd have to go through the swinging doors to see that motion picture.
00:15:46.000 Now, Caitlin's story arc actually, this is a true story, remains a little bit of a mystery, but because of Comic-Con leaks, I don't know any big comic book fans here, but there was some Comic-Con leaks, suggest Caitlin's involvement in the newly announced plotline, Thanos, the intergalactic transphobe, so that seems...
00:16:00.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:16:01.000 Almost like it was written for Caitlyn.
00:16:03.000 I hate to interrupt, but... No!
00:16:05.000 Get out of here!
00:16:06.000 No, no, no.
00:16:06.000 The bathroom.
00:16:07.000 Do you know where the bathroom is back there?
00:16:08.000 You don't get one.
00:16:09.000 It's in my green room.
00:16:10.000 Clearly what I came out to say is, go blue, baby!
00:16:15.000 There's a bucket out back.
00:16:17.000 What the heck?
00:16:18.000 By the way, Caitlyn Jenner has the power of supersonic speed, telekinesis, and the ability to not go to jail when she runs you over with her car.
00:16:24.000 So that's a good one.
00:16:27.000 It's just as good as flying!
00:16:30.000 I don't know why.
00:16:31.000 It sounds like a cross of Kevin Spacey and the Joker from the animated series.
00:16:34.000 Oh, by the way, I forgot to tell you guys this.
00:16:38.000 We are actually honored tonight to be joined by a Supreme Court Justice in the audience.
00:16:44.000 We don't have to necessarily agree with this person, but none other than Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
00:16:48.000 Justice, do we have the Ruth cam available?
00:16:50.000 Ruth Bader Ginsburg, yeah, let's... Oh, hey, shh, shh.
00:16:53.000 Hey, hey, hey, shh, shh.
00:16:56.000 All right.
00:16:56.000 She's sleeping.
00:16:57.000 Quiet.
00:16:59.000 Guys, shush.
00:17:00.000 Everyone be quiet, please.
00:17:02.000 Thank God you didn't pay for this show.
00:17:03.000 Be respectful.
00:17:06.000 By the way, finally, in the final news story, before we get to some more news that we have to get to, PETA has officially claimed cow's milk to be a symbol of white supremacy.
00:17:17.000 So I want to make sure I get this right.
00:17:19.000 The group renewed its claim from a 2017 blog post titled, Cow's milk is the perfect drink for white supremacists.
00:17:25.000 Tweeted a link out recently, this last week, to renew it.
00:17:28.000 I guess that's how it works.
00:17:29.000 The National Dairy Association responded Do we have that?
00:17:32.000 Can we bring that back up?
00:17:33.000 What was the writing?
00:17:34.000 Did anyone see if that was German?
00:17:35.000 Here's the thing, I'm a milk guy.
00:17:37.000 Yeah, I like milk.
00:17:38.000 I'm a milk guy.
00:17:39.000 I'm not on board with PETA.
00:17:40.000 But I can see how they could argue that the recent Got Milk campaigns were distasteful.
00:17:45.000 I can understand them.
00:17:46.000 Yeah.
00:17:47.000 Ah.
00:17:47.000 Ah.
00:17:48.000 That's.
00:17:49.000 Makes sense.
00:17:50.000 I get it.
00:17:50.000 That's dipping into gray territory, it would seem.
00:17:56.000 Can we bring that back up?
00:17:56.000 Do we have that?
00:17:57.000 What was it?
00:17:58.000 What was the writing?
00:17:58.000 Did anyone see if that was German?
00:18:00.000 What is it?
00:18:00.000 Gray.
00:18:01.000 Heide Milch?
00:18:02.000 I don't even know.
00:18:03.000 I don't know.
00:18:04.000 That's how the mustache started.
00:18:06.000 I can't read it.
00:18:06.000 I can't read it.
00:18:08.000 Oh, by the way, we're actually, we're getting word of development, uh, with the caravan carrying migrant women and children, as you know, to the United States.
00:18:14.000 We return to coverage live.
00:18:15.000 It's criminal in here.
00:18:17.000 Yeah.
00:18:17.000 I mean, it is.
00:18:17.000 Okay.
00:18:20.000 He doesn't seem like he's much help.
00:18:21.000 Hey, one thing I did want to tell you guys, I'm really sorry.
00:18:26.000 You saw in the posters my good friend Owen Benjamin was supposed to be here tonight
00:18:29.000 But he couldn't make it because he had a family affair to um to it
00:18:33.000 Ladies and gentlemen, Owen Benjamin!
00:18:37.000 Owen Benjamin!
00:18:39.000 So So
00:19:20.000 So so
00:19:32.000 so so
00:20:04.000 wow This town ain't big enough for the two of us.
00:20:19.000 Actually, as a matter of fact, geographically there is physical room for- I've had enough of your asbestos-laden smug talk.
00:20:26.000 Fill your tumbler, you suck!
00:20:28.000 Pfft!
00:20:29.000 Crowd Cheers!
00:20:33.000 Piano Music Plays Well now Owen, I just wanted to thank you for that
00:21:00.000 wonderful performance you put on for these folks.
00:21:02.000 Crowd Cheers!
00:21:06.000 Yes!
00:21:11.000 Well, I think that showed, Owen, from your passionate performance all the way to your perfect Liberace costume.
00:21:19.000 Now, Owen, have you been following this unfortunate story of the administration wanting to reclassify one's gender to identify with their biological sex?
00:21:32.000 No.
00:21:34.000 See, gender exists outside the realm of science.
00:21:41.000 Well, Owen, gender actually exists outside that simple binary you refer to as boy and girl.
00:21:48.000 world that also exists outside of that feedback. You see, actually gender can be
00:21:56.000 expressed in a multitude of ways.
00:21:58.000 You can be L, G, B, T. There's 57 others, depending on the day.
00:22:03.000 and you can switch right back, including your sexuality, thanks to the modern phenomenon known as gender fluidity.
00:22:09.000 Oh, so it's like magic!
00:22:12.000 Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh.
00:22:14.000 Well, Owen, in a way...
00:22:17.000 In a way, I suppose it is like magic.
00:22:20.000 Bye.
00:22:21.000 But let me tell you, it's not always easy for trannies out there on the range.
00:22:25.000 No, oh and I'm talking about difficulties that far exceed the silliness of
00:22:35.000 cutting off one's peck or replacing it with a non-functioning vagina that your
00:22:39.000 body will forevermore try to close as a wound.
00:22:44.000 I'm talking about problems for trannies out on the range that live more in the realm of nuance.
00:22:50.000 Matter of fact, let me tell you a story about a little tranny I knew.
00:22:55.000 Let me tell you a story about this tranny named Sue.
00:23:01.000 When I was born, the doctor said it's a boy, but pissing off doctors gave mama joy, so
00:23:20.000 she put me in a dress and high-heeled shoes.
00:23:24.000 Yee-haw!
00:23:26.000 Yo, Pa thought it wrong, cause I still had a dong, and he said little boys shouldn't wear little girl thongs.
00:23:32.000 Oh, life wasn't easy for a little tranny named Sue.
00:23:34.000 What happened next?
00:23:39.000 About junior high, I stopped being a guy.
00:23:42.000 And if kids had asked why, I'd let out a big sigh.
00:23:45.000 And I'd just have the school give them the boot.
00:23:48.000 Yeah, you did!
00:23:50.000 Well, college got better, though I still had my pecker.
00:23:53.000 I sure was one hell of a trendsetter!
00:23:56.000 Free to drop a deuce in the men's or ladies' room.
00:24:01.000 Yeah, you pinch that deuce anywhere you want to!
00:24:04.000 I had to apply for a Susan B. loan, even though I still had a bone.
00:24:10.000 But what do you know?
00:24:11.000 It turns out I was approved.
00:24:18.000 I didn't hear that because I was hearing feet.
00:24:19.000 My hat was falling off!
00:24:21.000 Your hat falling off?
00:24:22.000 Right into my own eyeballs!
00:24:23.000 I'll tell you what, Cowboy Liberace, that's a weird combo.
00:24:26.000 Let's play me back in.
00:24:30.000 They threw in even more scholarship money, and they just asked me, please don't sue us, honey!
00:24:36.000 Oh, life wasn't easy for a little tranny named Sue.
00:24:39.000 Did you sue him, Sue?
00:24:41.000 Your name is Sue!
00:24:42.000 I feel like that's kind of hilarious, if you sued him and- Alright, listen, okay, that's- let's just- let's curb that.
00:24:48.000 Sorry, I got really excited.
00:24:49.000 I appreciate the zeal.
00:24:51.000 But it's making- my hat's about to fall off.
00:24:54.000 Alright, let's just slow it down.
00:24:55.000 Let's play me back in.
00:24:59.000 Well, a man told me, late one night, after 15 good lights, disregarding my height.
00:25:05.000 Hoo-wee!
00:25:06.000 You sure are good looking, Sue.
00:25:08.000 Thank you.
00:25:10.000 Now, I said just between us, I might have a penis.
00:25:13.000 Though it's more of a weenus.
00:25:14.000 And he let out a gasp at my big ol' size 15 shoe.
00:25:19.000 Damn, that's a big shoe, Sue!
00:25:21.000 🎵 Well, wouldn't you know, as I began to disrobe and I
00:25:29.000 started to probe, Turns out he's a transphobe!
00:25:33.000 Ah, hell, what's a poor tranny to do?
00:25:38.000 He screamed, you're a man, dragged me back as Dodge Ram, all just because I didn't have a clam.
00:25:43.000 Oh, life wasn't easy for a little tranny named Sue.
00:25:47.000 So what'd you do, Sue?
00:25:49.000 What happens next?
00:25:50.000 Years went by, and my own little guy, and I knew I'd have to choose how he'd identify, and oh boy, I didn't know what to do.
00:26:01.000 Well, hormone blockers weren't the answer.
00:26:04.000 As it turned out, I gave the little bastard cancer.
00:26:06.000 Life won't be easy for a second-generation tranny named Sue.
00:26:16.000 Biology's a bitch!
00:26:19.000 Owen Benjamin, ladies and gentlemen!
00:26:21.000 Huge pianist!
00:26:22.000 Woo!
00:26:22.000 Yeah!
00:26:22.000 Steve McClaren!
00:26:22.000 Woo!
00:26:23.000 Yeah!
00:26:24.000 Steve McClaren!
00:26:25.000 Woo!
00:26:26.000 By the way, Johnny Boy, my producer, he's rushing to try and get us back on track.
00:26:34.000 Let's hear it for him!
00:26:39.000 And he still screwed it up.
00:26:42.000 Oh, man.
00:26:43.000 I hope you're having a good time, everyone out there.
00:26:45.000 Why am I still doing this?
00:26:46.000 Yeah, cut that out.
00:26:48.000 I need some more wine.
00:26:51.000 Owen, I want Owen back right now.
00:26:52.000 I gotta find out where I am.
00:26:54.000 So, how many here would declare themselves conservative, libertarian, right-wing?
00:26:59.000 All right, I was hoping for a little more diversity.
00:27:09.000 I forgot!
00:27:09.000 Oh!
00:27:09.000 Wait!
00:27:10.000 You know what?
00:27:10.000 We actually still have, in our midst, we do want to check back in on Supreme Court Justice.
00:27:15.000 Do we have the Ruth Cam?
00:27:16.000 Ruth Bader Ginsburg, ladies and gentlemen!
00:27:17.000 Is she here?
00:27:22.000 Alright, you know what?
00:27:23.000 Let's check back on that.
00:27:25.000 That might be in the Q&A.
00:27:28.000 Oh, goodness.
00:27:30.000 You know, we hear this talked about a whole lot.
00:27:32.000 You've heard this term probably from many of your professors who are out there protesting.
00:27:35.000 Othered, right?
00:27:36.000 Who here has heard the term about othered?
00:27:39.000 Okay, apparently no one.
00:27:41.000 We will not make a noise unless it's booing a Canadian, okay?
00:27:47.000 Everything else...
00:27:49.000 And we hear a lot about this, right?
00:27:51.000 We hear a lot about black people, gay people, trans people, about being othered, about being marginalized.
00:27:55.000 And here's the truth.
00:27:58.000 One person's cheering with a glow stick.
00:28:00.000 Looks like a mid-90s rave and he's taking a cocktail of codeine and E. Yes!
00:28:08.000 I'm out!
00:28:08.000 I'm out!
00:28:09.000 I've been othered!
00:28:12.000 With seven fingers!
00:28:15.000 You and Trudeau would make a cute couple, sir.
00:28:18.000 But statistically, the one thing that a lot of people don't talk about is no one has been othered.
00:28:24.000 No one has been othered on college campuses more than conservatives.
00:28:28.000 Now before we get to the statistics, let's show some stories that you probably know.
00:28:31.000 Let's show the anecdotal.
00:28:32.000 Here's a real.
00:28:34.000 Also a group of conservative students kicked off their campus coffee shop for wearing Make America Great hats
00:28:40.000 again.
00:28:41.000 I don't want people like you supporting this club.
00:28:43.000 Well then you should include me.
00:28:45.000 No, no, no, no, no.
00:28:46.000 I don't want people like you supporting our club.
00:28:48.000 I see you guys in the...
00:28:50.000 White supremacist and a vice president that is one of the most anti-gay humans in this country.
00:28:57.000 At this point, it's not even education anymore.
00:28:59.000 It's indoctrination.
00:29:00.000 And we begin with a legal battle that is brewing.
00:29:02.000 A student group claims it was ousted by Lone Star College over its conservative views.
00:29:07.000 Now it's taking college leadership to court.
00:29:10.000 The piece at the University of Alaska Anchorage depicting Captain America holding the president's severed head.
00:29:16.000 He was told he had to apologize in front of the class, stand silently while they critiqued him.
00:29:21.000 She didn't like the fact that I disagreed with the subject being pushed in class being more than one gender.
00:29:27.000 Hey, by the way, please give it up for Yaf and College Republicans who put this on for you against the administration.
00:29:31.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:29:35.000 Give it up.
00:29:36.000 Yeah, let him hear ya!
00:29:39.000 And the overflow room, thank you guys, and everyone who's already been giving tickets to the after party, we appreciate it so much, you guys have been so accommodating, and I don't know if you know this, but actually, this very show, before it went, it actually started out of a station here named Wham, in Ann Arbor.
00:29:52.000 That was the first show I ever actually had to call my own.
00:29:56.000 Good.
00:29:59.000 A couple of people.
00:30:00.000 Good, we're up at 6am.
00:30:01.000 Yeah, you know.
00:30:02.000 And you were probably 12 years old.
00:30:04.000 There's a lot of Trudeaus out there.
00:30:05.000 So does anyone know the actual number as far as... Because people talk about this a lot, right?
00:30:09.000 You don't want to be folks who just bitch.
00:30:12.000 And you're not armed with information.
00:30:13.000 Does anyone know the actual number of professors on college campus?
00:30:17.000 1%!
00:30:18.000 Well, that's good.
00:30:20.000 That's a good guess, but I think you just picked the lowest of the numbers.
00:30:23.000 0, 0, can I pick that?
00:30:25.000 0 is not a number?
00:30:26.000 1!
00:30:26.000 1!
00:30:26.000 1%!
00:30:26.000 Do I get a t-shirt?
00:30:30.000 No.
00:30:33.000 The ratio of leftist to conservative professors across this country.
00:30:37.000 Do you have any idea?
00:30:39.000 Well, now you kinda... Give me some.
00:30:41.000 You stole my thunder.
00:30:42.000 Okay, alright, it's 12 to 1.
00:30:43.000 Alright, so sorry.
00:30:44.000 20 to 1!
00:30:45.000 A million to 1!
00:30:46.000 It's 12 to 1, which I thought was pretty bad.
00:30:48.000 And here's something that's crazy to me.
00:30:51.000 39% of colleges across the country have zero!
00:30:57.000 No conservative professors at all!
00:30:59.000 Wait, there's an overlay there?
00:31:00.000 Too cute Maddie?
00:31:01.000 She's so cute, makes me disgusted.
00:31:04.000 So basically, 40% of universities and college campuses have no, even leaning right, professors.
00:31:11.000 At what point do we acknowledge that it's not just happenstance?
00:31:14.000 Let me ask you this.
00:31:15.000 Can you find 40% of college professors Can you find 40% of colleges that have no, zero, not one atheist professor?
00:31:23.000 No Buddhist professors?
00:31:25.000 No environmentalist professors?
00:31:26.000 Can you find me 40% of colleges that don't have a single professor who likes Jolly Ranchers?
00:31:32.000 If you're playing the odds game...
00:31:34.000 Statistically, it doesn't matter how many times you roll the dice.
00:31:38.000 Zero?
00:31:39.000 That's almost half.
00:31:40.000 And by the way, the majority of college students... How many people agree with this?
00:31:43.000 One poll, the majority of college students... And by the way, the poll really matters here because you're asking people's opinion.
00:31:48.000 It's not like a poll on healthcare from Bernie Sanders.
00:31:50.000 Are you happy with your healthcare, you son of a bitch?
00:31:56.000 Yeah, I think it's alright.
00:31:57.000 Proof positive!
00:31:58.000 America sucks!
00:32:03.000 No, I'm a... Not as bad as, what is it, uh, Alexandria Nina Pinto Santamaria Cortez.
00:32:09.000 Yeah, one of those.
00:32:09.000 Yeah.
00:32:10.000 One of those Valley words.
00:32:11.000 Larry Curly Moe Cortez.
00:32:13.000 I can't get the names right.
00:32:14.000 Doug, is it because it's Latino?
00:32:17.000 Yes.
00:32:17.000 No.
00:32:18.000 But let's go with that.
00:32:19.000 I don't, I don't have time to argue with you.
00:32:20.000 Just call me a racist and I'll be on my way.
00:32:22.000 Let's do that.
00:32:24.000 You ever have that now?
00:32:24.000 Where someone's like, what are you, a racist?
00:32:27.000 Sure.
00:32:28.000 Sure.
00:32:28.000 Yeah.
00:32:29.000 Okay.
00:32:29.000 All right.
00:32:31.000 I just want an extra fire sauce.
00:32:33.000 I don't want to have a conversation at the drive-thru here.
00:32:38.000 A majority of college students say that they feel there's a climate on campus that's completely hostile toward them.
00:32:45.000 Anyone else?
00:32:45.000 Show of hands, a round of applause.
00:32:46.000 I can't see you feel that way on campus.
00:32:53.000 There's a few.
00:32:54.000 And here's the thing.
00:32:55.000 It would be... You're not alone.
00:32:57.000 A big part of why we do this show, a big part of why sometimes we go a little bit too far with the jokes, and I know some of you tomorrow will be telling your... You'll be like Peter before the roost crows three times.
00:33:04.000 I didn't go to the Lottery with Crowder show.
00:33:08.000 And your local paper's gonna be like, okay, he has a Christ complex.
00:33:14.000 But we do it so that you don't have to be afraid.
00:33:16.000 It's okay to be who you are.
00:33:17.000 We hear that all the time.
00:33:18.000 You're perfect just the way you are.
00:33:19.000 First off, none of you are perfect.
00:33:20.000 Most of you suck.
00:33:21.000 All of us suck, okay?
00:33:23.000 I suck.
00:33:26.000 You suck.
00:33:27.000 Gerald certainly sucks.
00:33:30.000 But that's okay.
00:33:32.000 But then we're told you're fine.
00:33:34.000 Just accept yourself for who you are.
00:33:35.000 Well, what if you're a conservative?
00:33:37.000 What if you're a right-leaning person on campus where you're outnumbered 12 to 1, not by students, but by your professors?
00:33:44.000 Where 40% of you are on a college campus with not one person who shares your worldview.
00:33:50.000 That's how it deter- Well, let's not go with burn it down, alright?
00:33:55.000 That's the guy sending Clock Boy envelopes.
00:33:57.000 I'd check him out.
00:33:58.000 Not a good plan.
00:33:59.000 Not a good plan.
00:34:00.000 How funny would that be if it were just Clock Boy?
00:34:02.000 He's like, hello, we're for you again.
00:34:06.000 Maybe this time I'll be invited to Chamber of Commerce, then back to Qatar.
00:34:10.000 I suck as a person.
00:34:14.000 And David Hogg's like, I heard suck as a person.
00:34:16.000 All right, listen.
00:34:17.000 He's 18.
00:34:18.000 It's fine.
00:34:20.000 He's 18.
00:34:21.000 It's fine.
00:34:22.000 Yeah, you can do it now.
00:34:23.000 It's on.
00:34:24.000 It's on time.
00:34:25.000 Did you see David Hahn try to encourage Canadians to commit election fraud?
00:34:30.000 I was like, no, even Michael Moore was like, give me that microphone.
00:34:36.000 It's one thing for professors to be all far left, and all of your students to be far left, and it's one thing for you to be afraid simply to speak out, and that is the norm, right?
00:34:43.000 A lot of people have accepted that as the new norm.
00:34:45.000 But it gets even worse when you look at today, and we're not supposed to use the M word, M as in marsupial people out there, okay?
00:34:52.000 You're not supposed to use the M word when we're talking about mobs.
00:34:54.000 But the truth is, on campus, and we've experienced this, as well as in the country at large, the left today, these people, Who make up 40% of college campuses, but there's not a single one of you teaching.
00:35:05.000 These people, who outnumber other professors 12 to 1, are getting increasingly violent and rioting.
00:35:11.000 And you see it escalating.
00:35:12.000 here. Don't take my word for it.
00:35:19.000 I don't think they'll know what to do.
00:35:27.000 The idea is just plain clothes and a super tactic scene. I don't think they'll know what to do.
00:35:33.000 Okay.
00:35:33.000 Because they're not prepared for what you're planning.
00:35:36.000 Okay, we're going to take the knife.
00:35:38.000 Knife.
00:35:38.000 Yeah, we've got two APs coming.
00:35:39.000 Stop!
00:35:52.000 Others wore masks, threw what appeared to be fireworks and smoke bombs, then started fires.
00:35:58.000 There have been no immediate reports of arrests.
00:36:03.000 None.
00:36:03.000 None.
00:36:04.000 Doesn't that strike you as weird?
00:36:05.000 And I know we're not supposed to use the M word today, but I say that because listen guys,
00:36:08.000 I know it's kind of hard to say something serious here with my package hanging out.
00:36:11.000 Do as I do, not as I say.
00:36:22.000 You know, just do none of it.
00:36:24.000 But honestly, and before we get to the Q&A here, we're going to line up.
00:36:26.000 I say this so that all of you out there, you see these mobs, you see people pulling folks from cars in Portland.
00:36:30.000 Old man trying to beat them up.
00:36:32.000 I don't know if you saw this video.
00:36:33.000 It just made my blood absolutely boil.
00:36:35.000 You don't have to be afraid.
00:36:36.000 You don't have to be afraid to speak up.
00:36:38.000 It's why my answers have changed in the Q&A when I used to say, listen, keep your head down and stay safe.
00:36:42.000 It's why my worldview has changed because they will smell it on you.
00:36:44.000 You cannot hide it.
00:36:46.000 And that's why we're out here.
00:36:47.000 This is really hard.
00:36:48.000 Give it up for the team of people who've made this happen too, by the way.
00:36:50.000 There's an entire staff.
00:36:52.000 Can we get a mic with a longer chorus?
00:36:59.000 I don't know if that's possible.
00:37:00.000 The entire staff made this happen because we want to come out and just let you guys know that there are other people out there like you.
00:37:05.000 They may not be your teachers.
00:37:06.000 They may not be your friends in college.
00:37:07.000 They may not be the people writing the papers about today's event.
00:37:11.000 But you know what?
00:37:11.000 They are out there.
00:37:12.000 And before we move on to Q&A, I think we do actually have to go one more time to our, if we have, Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, the Ruth Cam.
00:37:19.000 Yeah, the Ruth Cam.
00:37:20.000 Are we?
00:37:21.000 Oh.
00:37:23.000 Oh no.
00:37:23.000 Give it up, give it up.
00:37:33.000 Stop, stop!
00:37:34.000 Avada Nogra!
00:37:35.000 You bastard!
00:37:36.000 Ruth Bader Ginsburg, ladies and gentlemen!
00:37:37.000 Give it up, give it up.
00:37:41.000 She's a fighting one.
00:37:44.000 All right, there we go.
00:37:45.000 Thank you so much.
00:37:46.000 That's it for this material here.
00:37:47.000 We're going to go to Q&A for you guys.
00:37:50.000 Thank you so much again to the overflow room.
00:37:51.000 You guys, you were fantastic.
00:37:52.000 We're going to keep this going.
00:37:53.000 We're going to come visit you after we do this Q&A.
00:37:56.000 We have microphones here on the right and on the left.
00:37:59.000 University of Michigan, anyone who wants to ask a question, feel free to come on up.
00:38:02.000 You can ignore the people who are going to write about you tomorrow on college paper, because they're not going to be friendly anyway.
00:38:07.000 And by the way, where's the guy who's dressed up as a mug?
00:38:10.000 Where is he?
00:38:11.000 I saw a guy.
00:38:11.000 Actually, let me hear you chant.
00:38:13.000 All right, there you go.
00:38:14.000 Yeah.
00:38:14.000 That's a pretty good one.
00:38:16.000 Is that a kiddie pool that you just put tape on?
00:38:19.000 There it is.
00:38:20.000 Yeah.
00:38:21.000 Hold on a second.
00:38:21.000 Let's bring him up first to the mic.
00:38:23.000 I just want to see what he did.
00:38:24.000 Let's hear it for this man.
00:38:26.000 He's the winner of the costume contest, for sure.
00:38:29.000 That's epic.
00:38:30.000 That is so good.
00:38:33.000 Oh, he has to put it on before he goes to Q&A.
00:38:35.000 All right.
00:38:35.000 Oh.
00:38:36.000 And he can't make it down.
00:38:37.000 Let me walk sideways.
00:38:40.000 I'm kind of arucasulting this thing.
00:38:43.000 Shouldn't have chewed so much gum, bitch.
00:38:46.000 All right.
00:38:49.000 Don't knock it over.
00:38:50.000 He has to go around and come back.
00:38:53.000 Okay.
00:38:54.000 All right.
00:38:54.000 Maybe this wasn't the best idea.
00:38:55.000 What's your name, sir?
00:38:56.000 My name's James.
00:38:57.000 James.
00:38:57.000 Thank you for being here, James.
00:38:58.000 Thank you for the effort.
00:39:04.000 Now, James, tell me, what is this that you put together?
00:39:06.000 How did you make this?
00:39:07.000 I took a couple of cheap yoga mats, a pool noodle, and a hula hoop.
00:39:11.000 Okay.
00:39:12.000 Beautiful.
00:39:12.000 Yeah.
00:39:13.000 And it cost you a girlfriend, I'm guessing?
00:39:16.000 It might have.
00:39:17.000 Yeah.
00:39:18.000 Why do you have to dress this way?
00:39:19.000 Why can't you just be normal?
00:39:20.000 No, I'm telling you, afterwards we can get into the mug, we can do some weird stuff, make some bad decisions.
00:39:24.000 I don't want to be in a mug!
00:39:26.000 That's disgusting!
00:39:26.000 You want to be in my mug?
00:39:28.000 If not, you're not a part of my... So, how long did this take you?
00:39:32.000 I started Sunday morning and I finished last night.
00:39:35.000 Wow, wow.
00:39:36.000 You're definitely failing at least a class.
00:39:37.000 Yeah, give it to him.
00:39:43.000 This is his moment.
00:39:44.000 Better make it count.
00:39:45.000 Thank you so much, sir.
00:39:46.000 I appreciate it.
00:39:46.000 You're a Mug Club member.
00:39:47.000 You're the winner of the costume contest.
00:39:49.000 Any merch you want, a couple of shirts, ranger... You want some ranger panties?
00:39:52.000 You want to wear some ranger panties?
00:39:54.000 All right.
00:39:55.000 All of the above.
00:39:55.000 Thank you, sir.
00:39:56.000 Let's hear it for the costume contest winner.
00:40:02.000 All right, I guess, you know what, we'll start right here.
00:40:04.000 You know, okay, we'll go over here with the next first question.
00:40:07.000 Oh jeez, what happened there?
00:40:08.000 That was like Satan's piss.
00:40:11.000 All right.
00:40:12.000 You, sir, in the cake, looking very angry.
00:40:15.000 What's your name?
00:40:16.000 Hi, that's just my natural face, but thank you.
00:40:17.000 Is it really?
00:40:18.000 Well, you might want to work on it.
00:40:19.000 All right, going to a job interview.
00:40:21.000 I will be thrilled if you choose me.
00:40:25.000 Sir, are you sure about that?
00:40:26.000 Shut up, I'm finishing.
00:40:29.000 So, oh my God.
00:40:31.000 What?
00:40:32.000 Oh, he's on.
00:40:33.000 I think I turned it into something that we don't even know what it is.
00:40:35.000 All right.
00:40:35.000 What was your name, sir?
00:40:36.000 Evan.
00:40:36.000 Evan.
00:40:36.000 Okay, Evan.
00:40:38.000 So this is the cape?
00:40:39.000 Yeah, I helped set up.
00:40:40.000 This is what we all wore.
00:40:41.000 Oh, thank you very much, Evan.
00:40:42.000 I appreciate it.
00:40:42.000 No problem.
00:40:43.000 I'll wear the cape.
00:40:43.000 Okay, I'm going to have to stand back so I don't get any feedback.
00:40:45.000 Go ahead with your question, Evan.
00:40:47.000 Listen, just as a conservative on campus, today in one of my classes, a Spanish seminar of all things, we were learning about why Christianity is more violent than Islam.
00:41:00.000 Really?
00:41:01.000 Yeah, that's not... Someone tell you that with a straight face?
00:41:05.000 Well, listen, that just brings up my question is that as a conservative and like as a Christian, a devout Christian on campus, you know, I am afraid to, you know, speak up in a second language at that, you know, just be like, um... What's your first language?
00:41:19.000 English, but um...
00:41:21.000 Well, first off, I think it would help if you learned the general precept of second language.
00:41:25.000 Okay.
00:41:26.000 But, uh, okay.
00:41:26.000 All right.
00:41:27.000 Well, I'm wasting time, but anyway, my question is, you know... Are you sure you want to be a nightclub comic, Evan?
00:41:33.000 Go ahead, sir.
00:41:34.000 I just want you to have some fun.
00:41:35.000 It's okay.
00:41:36.000 It's gonna be fun.
00:41:36.000 It's gonna be fun.
00:41:37.000 Let's, you know, let's have fun.
00:41:39.000 It's just I find it hard to disagree with the sentiment of just sort of just eating the crap that your professors give you, getting the grade, and then once you're out of school fighting to make a difference.
00:41:49.000 Yeah.
00:41:50.000 Because I find that sentiment rather enticing, honestly, because I understand our grades are important as students.
00:41:57.000 And I'm just wondering, do you have any advice for students in my position who want to be able to stop the indoctrination on campus, but don't necessarily want our numbers to suffer as a result?
00:42:07.000 Well, thank you, Evan.
00:42:08.000 First, let's give Evan a round of applause.
00:42:09.000 Can you give him a smile?
00:42:10.000 Give him a smile!
00:42:11.000 Come on, how about a smile, pussycat?
00:42:13.000 All right.
00:42:16.000 How about now?
00:42:17.000 Can we smile?
00:42:18.000 By the way, I don't know if there are any Antifa members here.
00:42:22.000 They were threatening to throw a big old bottle of piss at me tonight, so...
00:42:26.000 Target right here.
00:42:27.000 Where are they?
00:42:28.000 Listen, it's a valid question, and I understand it, okay?
00:42:31.000 And this is a question I get asked most, and we do the Life Advice segment.
00:42:33.000 We're a tough love with your guru, Dr. Crowder.
00:42:35.000 Yeah.
00:42:36.000 Legally, I can't say I'm a doctor, but I'm a doctor.
00:42:40.000 First off, I know this sounds trivial.
00:42:42.000 It does help to smile, to be jovial, to be a happy warrior.
00:42:45.000 That's not just something that I'm... You know, Dennis Prager talks about how it's your moral obligation to be happy.
00:42:49.000 And as Christians, we talk about being happy, being content, being at least grateful through suffering.
00:42:55.000 Right?
00:42:55.000 That's what I believe.
00:42:56.000 I genuinely do.
00:42:58.000 I feel that it is such a privilege to be able to come out here and perform for you guys and ensure that doors are closed for me in the entertainment industry.
00:43:04.000 And when you talk about it's an enticing idea, right?
00:43:07.000 Oh, and they're definitely closed.
00:43:10.000 He also can't walk through half of them.
00:43:14.000 I get that it's an enticing idea, and I used to answer this question, if people go back and watch the older videos where I said, you know what, I understand it, do what you gotta do, keep your head down.
00:43:21.000 The problem is, you would have to believe that all these professors, the 12 to 1, are idiots without Twitter, Instagram, Facebook.
00:43:28.000 There is no way to stay hidden in 2018.
00:43:32.000 That's why I changed my answer.
00:43:34.000 My opinion hasn't changed.
00:43:35.000 If you had the ability, right, to stay off of social media completely, to be completely Google-proof to every single professor and you could guarantee that they wouldn't know, yeah, listen, sure, go ahead.
00:43:44.000 Ace your classes and then get yourself into some kind of position of authority.
00:43:47.000 Watch the YouTube people and they're like, the Jews!
00:43:51.000 And then do more good.
00:43:52.000 But you're not able to do that in 2018.
00:43:56.000 That's why I think it's so important for you to hear the people next to you yelling.
00:44:00.000 Listen, you guys aren't that small of a minority.
00:44:02.000 You are definitely that small of a minority as it's represented in media, as it's represented in the faculty, as it's represented in the press.
00:44:08.000 But you are not that small of a minority when it comes to people, even when it comes to the student body.
00:44:13.000 You know what you are?
00:44:14.000 You're the students.
00:44:15.000 You're the piece of the pie who elect presidents.
00:44:18.000 How about that?
00:44:19.000 And I'm sorry, but my opinion changed a little bit when we have conservatives who are like,
00:44:28.000 I just want to pass, I want to go into the STEM field, I want to be an engineer.
00:44:31.000 And then Antifa's like, my job, cocktail number nine, asshole!
00:44:35.000 Laughter.
00:44:37.000 You can't do it.
00:44:38.000 It's not possible.
00:44:39.000 So what I want you to do is grab the phone number or the hand of the person next to you today and go, you know what?
00:44:43.000 All right, here we are.
00:44:44.000 We're in it now.
00:44:45.000 You're in a fight.
00:44:46.000 Anyone here ever been in a fight?
00:44:47.000 You don't stop after you've been punched in the face.
00:44:50.000 You've all been punched in the face.
00:44:52.000 Now I'm not saying go out and punch them in the face or start mailing clocks, okay?
00:44:57.000 What I am saying is there's no way to hide it.
00:44:59.000 You've been punched in the face.
00:45:00.000 You're in the fight whether you want it or not, so start acting like it, because there's no way around it!
00:45:05.000 And you help the person next to you!
00:45:07.000 And I want to come back to that afterwards, because I'd like to close on that point.
00:45:09.000 I really do see, and I get a lot of emails regarding fear on campus, and it truly does.
00:45:14.000 It breaks my heart.
00:45:15.000 I feel totally humbled to be able to come out here and perform for you guys, because I know how scary it is.
00:45:19.000 I know how othered you've been.
00:45:20.000 Thank you.
00:45:21.000 Thank you so much.
00:45:25.000 You, sir, with the noise-cancelling headphones.
00:45:27.000 What's your name?
00:45:28.000 Uh, Logan.
00:45:29.000 Logan, nice to meet you, Logan.
00:45:30.000 So, uh, this is kind of two-part.
00:45:33.000 Alright.
00:45:34.000 My second question, can I get a handshake?
00:45:36.000 Uh, no.
00:45:37.000 Because I don't know you, and Jeff might shoot you.
00:45:37.000 Okay.
00:45:41.000 Okay.
00:45:42.000 It's very possible.
00:45:42.000 I don't want to get shot.
00:45:43.000 He's almost shot me multiple times.
00:45:44.000 I literally was reading about baggies of piss being thrown at me before coming on stage, and you're like, I got a goatee and spacers in my ears, and I canoodle.
00:45:54.000 That's nothing personal, I hope you understand.
00:45:56.000 Alright, go ahead, sir.
00:45:56.000 Yeah, that's fine.
00:45:57.000 So, I'm a senior in high school, and me and my friends, we're conservatives.
00:46:03.000 We all have conservative views.
00:46:05.000 I've been getting really into politics in the last couple of years.
00:46:09.000 But my friends don't seem to understand why they're conservative.
00:46:12.000 It's more of like, they know the conservative way is the better way to go.
00:46:17.000 But they don't really know how to argue their point.
00:46:19.000 Okay.
00:46:20.000 So is there really such thing as a bad conservative in that sense that they can't help us push the agenda?
00:46:25.000 They can just state it?
00:46:27.000 Yes.
00:46:28.000 By the way, this guy was looking at his watch and then started tweeting something.
00:46:31.000 Right here.
00:46:31.000 What were you doing?
00:46:32.000 You were like, oh, this kid better hurry up.
00:46:34.000 I want to get to the after party.
00:46:36.000 Your wife's watching.
00:46:37.000 Your wife's watching.
00:46:38.000 Well, thank you very much.
00:46:38.000 Thank you.
00:46:39.000 What's your name, sir?
00:46:40.000 What's your wife's name?
00:46:40.000 Michael.
00:46:41.000 Ashley.
00:46:42.000 Why couldn't she be here tonight?
00:46:42.000 Ashley.
00:46:44.000 Three kids.
00:46:45.000 Well, let's hear it for Michael and Ashley.
00:46:48.000 That's a powerful woman.
00:46:48.000 Three children.
00:46:50.000 I sure hope the kids aren't watching tonight.
00:46:53.000 Mommy, what's a ranger penny?
00:46:54.000 It's what's barely hiding what's in there, son.
00:46:58.000 Yes, listen, there can be bad... Here's the thing.
00:46:59.000 Doesn't mean they're bad people, but can there be bad conservatives who are not able to represent the viewpoint properly?
00:47:03.000 Yeah!
00:47:04.000 You see them all the time.
00:47:07.000 What's part two?
00:47:08.000 It's actually what I was looking for.
00:47:09.000 Yeah.
00:47:10.000 Oh, is that it?
00:47:11.000 Thank you, man.
00:47:11.000 All right.
00:47:11.000 I appreciate it.
00:47:12.000 Thanks for the question.
00:47:13.000 Yes, it's a simple answer.
00:47:14.000 And I know a lot of the time, we like to act as though there is not a simple answer.
00:47:17.000 Sometimes there is a simple answer.
00:47:19.000 And listen, I'm a relatively smart guy.
00:47:23.000 Like, I'm slightly above the belt.
00:47:24.000 What are you?
00:47:25.000 Are you just?
00:47:26.000 Dude, my horn's falling off.
00:47:27.000 Oh, your horn's falling off.
00:47:28.000 I keep seeing him doing this.
00:47:30.000 I'm like, what's going on here?
00:47:31.000 It's a gang sign.
00:47:31.000 I just thought you were doing something.
00:47:32.000 It's a gang sign.
00:47:32.000 Yeah.
00:47:33.000 Listen, the MS-13 are edibles, OK?
00:47:37.000 All they do, I walk up, they're foddling!
00:47:39.000 They're foddling their hordes!
00:47:41.000 All the time with the foddling the hordes!
00:47:44.000 President Trump, I don't think that was- I think that was Corder Black Garrett at a Loud House Crowder show.
00:47:48.000 Shut up, you dumbass!
00:47:49.000 I think they're foddling with the hordes.
00:47:52.000 Um, so I pre- No, listen.
00:47:54.000 There are sometimes really simple answers.
00:47:56.000 And that's okay.
00:47:57.000 And, uh, that's why we're going to be releasing the Change My Mind book here, uh, hopefully before the end of the year.
00:48:01.000 A booklet on campus that shouldn't be too much.
00:48:06.000 Because sometimes there are simple answers.
00:48:08.000 Not everything lives in the realm of nuance.
00:48:09.000 You know, we were told for a long time, like, well, not everything is black and white.
00:48:12.000 Well, that's true.
00:48:13.000 But not everything requires a soliloquy.
00:48:15.000 Sometimes it's really simple.
00:48:16.000 Are there conservatives who are bad?
00:48:18.000 Of course there are.
00:48:19.000 I had one person once tell me in Canada that Chinese people shouldn't be allowed to get home loans.
00:48:19.000 You see, a lot of them.
00:48:25.000 Yeah, I don't know.
00:48:26.000 I don't have anywhere to go with that.
00:48:27.000 I was just like, well, see ya!
00:48:29.000 Okay.
00:48:31.000 Not on board.
00:48:32.000 I don't even get that.
00:48:33.000 And I don't really think this person meant it.
00:48:34.000 Anyway, I don't know.
00:48:34.000 What's your name, sir?
00:48:35.000 What's that?
00:48:36.000 Is that a hockey helmet?
00:48:38.000 He is a Polish tank hat from World War II.
00:48:41.000 Polish tank hats from World War II.
00:48:43.000 My name is Alex.
00:48:44.000 Thank you for coming.
00:48:45.000 Thank you for being here.
00:48:46.000 I have a quick question.
00:48:48.000 All right.
00:48:49.000 How are babies made and what is best way to raise babies?
00:48:52.000 Okay.
00:48:53.000 **Laughter** Well, let's be honest. That first question has been
00:49:00.000 answered.
00:49:01.000 Because if you're a heterosexual female or homosexual male here,
00:49:04.000 you now know how babies are made.
00:49:06.000 **Laughter** What is the best way to raise babies?
00:49:06.000 Um...
00:49:11.000 Listen, I don't have babies, so I know, and I get people like, when are you gonna breed?
00:49:14.000 I'm like, well, first off, I'm not a horse.
00:49:19.000 Secondly, you know, listen, I still got a doggo at home and he needs a lot of care and we have time.
00:49:23.000 Wait, what are you saying?
00:49:25.000 I don't know what you're saying.
00:49:26.000 I have no idea.
00:49:26.000 Go back to fondling your horns.
00:49:27.000 I'm very confused.
00:49:29.000 I think this is really easy though.
00:49:30.000 I had a great dad.
00:49:31.000 I've talked about this a lot and I know a lot of people have become conservative in their, in college now.
00:49:37.000 Which is great, you see a lot of people, obviously not just myself, but people like Ben Shapiro, Jordan Peterson, there are a lot of people out there changing hearts and minds right now, where people are going into college not conservative, and coming out conservative.
00:49:49.000 I will tell you this, I've been around since, I think it was 2006 on YouTube, 2009 is when I was doing political videos, okay?
00:49:55.000 We did these political, it would get like a few thousand plays, and that was a huge hit back then, right?
00:50:00.000 The Young Turks were calling me out and talking about how much I sucked, right?
00:50:03.000 And now they won't, they will utter any name not named Steven Crowder.
00:50:07.000 When you show up to Cenk's speech in Austin as Cenk, that's kind of what happens.
00:50:11.000 That's what happens.
00:50:13.000 And it's bullshit!
00:50:17.000 But I will say this.
00:50:18.000 That's really heartening.
00:50:20.000 It warms my cockles to see that.
00:50:22.000 Because it tells me that the people who are outnumbered 12 to 1 in staff, the people who are really afraid of the climate on college campus, you are changing hearts and minds.
00:50:31.000 Because when I started out, this didn't exist.
00:50:33.000 This wouldn't be possible for conservatives on campus.
00:50:35.000 We actually, if we'd have been able to book it in advance, could have filled Hill Auditorium with how many people are here.
00:50:40.000 I don't think that there has been any kind of a political show like that in recent memory here.
00:50:43.000 There probably is.
00:50:44.000 Someone's going to be like, Noam Chomsky.
00:50:45.000 Well, shut up, OK?
00:50:47.000 For the purposes of this story.
00:50:49.000 So that's great.
00:50:50.000 That being said, I did not become a conservative in college.
00:50:52.000 I will tell you.
00:50:53.000 I became a conservative pretty young.
00:50:54.000 Why?
00:50:55.000 Because my dad had these conversations at the dinner table.
00:50:57.000 And I think Ronald Reagan said, all great change starts at the dinner table.
00:51:01.000 And I was just a kid.
00:51:02.000 I was doing this cartoon, Arthur.
00:51:03.000 I was PBS.
00:51:05.000 And I played this character called the Brain.
00:51:06.000 Thank you.
00:51:06.000 Thank you.
00:51:07.000 Give it up for the Arthur Bane.
00:51:09.000 It gets almost as big a cheer as a Canadian gets booed.
00:51:12.000 But it was produced in Canada.
00:51:14.000 Now what do you do?
00:51:17.000 So, so torn.
00:51:18.000 You didn't even have to think about it.
00:51:19.000 I'm so torn.
00:51:21.000 Wow, that was so fast.
00:51:23.000 And I would get checks, and my dad would say, OK, what do you think about this going to taxes?
00:51:27.000 What do you think about a 52% marginal tax rate?
00:51:29.000 What do you think about health care?
00:51:30.000 We had already put several people on the ground because of Canadian health care.
00:51:33.000 And all of these conversations started with my dad.
00:51:35.000 And I will say this, my dad and my mother, my mom was French-Canadian, so she
00:51:38.000 didn't understand American politics to the same degree, but she was principled.
00:51:42.000 She was more conservative on the social issues and the moral issues.
00:51:44.000 In Quebec, there are only liberals and liberal separatists.
00:51:47.000 But they always had these conversations with me as a young child, to the point where
00:51:50.000 when I went into high school, I was having these conversations with teachers long before
00:51:54.000 college.
00:51:54.000 So if you're going to raise your kids anyway, people say, don't talk about religion and politics.
00:51:58.000 Well, guess what happens when you don't talk about religion and politics with your kids?
00:52:01.000 You have kids, like the gentleman who asked, I think it was Evan who asked a question, who's afraid to speak out in college.
00:52:06.000 You think you're emboldening your children if you're telling them don't speak religion and politics?
00:52:09.000 They're gonna go into college mortified!
00:52:11.000 Arm those kids!
00:52:13.000 Get them ready with information!
00:52:15.000 Send them out there like little warriors!
00:52:17.000 Don't send clocks, but send them out with info!
00:52:20.000 Thank you, Mr. Polish!
00:52:21.000 All right, you, sir.
00:52:22.000 Yes, I appreciate it.
00:52:23.000 You got a Lionel Strader hat.
00:52:25.000 Okay, all right.
00:52:26.000 There you go.
00:52:27.000 Thank you.
00:52:27.000 You just bought it now.
00:52:28.000 Oh, very nice.
00:52:29.000 What's your name, sir?
00:52:30.000 Matt, Traverse City, Michigan.
00:52:31.000 Oh, Traverse City!
00:52:32.000 Very nice!
00:52:35.000 Cherries and fat commie assholes come from there.
00:52:38.000 Yeah, pretty much.
00:52:40.000 Home of Michael Moore.
00:52:41.000 Oh, boo.
00:52:43.000 What did someone say?
00:52:46.000 He's not from there?
00:52:47.000 What's the story here?
00:52:48.000 He's not from there!
00:52:49.000 He's from Leelanau County!
00:52:54.000 Alright, okay.
00:52:55.000 Go ahead.
00:52:55.000 What's your question, sir?
00:52:56.000 That leads to my question.
00:52:58.000 While the state of Texas is treating you well, would you ever move back to the greatest state in the Union, Michigan?
00:53:04.000 No.
00:53:05.000 No.
00:53:10.000 That was a Brian Stelter question.
00:53:12.000 That was very leading.
00:53:13.000 It's like, Mr. Trump, would you ever consider being respectful and kissing my ass on air?
00:53:19.000 No, you're disgusting.
00:53:20.000 Well, see, I can't talk with him.
00:53:22.000 There's no reasoning.
00:53:24.000 You know what?
00:53:25.000 I would consider it when Michigan ditches their state tax.
00:53:28.000 Here, I hate to say this, This is one thing I've talked about, I don't understand.
00:53:36.000 Texas is a great, it's a petri dish.
00:53:38.000 You know what?
00:53:39.000 Michigan.
00:53:40.000 You've got, let's, let's, if you could just annex Detroit and Flint, give it to Canada, you know, just like, just tell them it's on the ballot, they're just voting for free pot and tap water, like, oh, yeah.
00:53:51.000 Just, sounds good here in Flint, it's a good deal.
00:53:56.000 I get to get high and dead.
00:54:01.000 So you have the same kind of situation with eastern and western Michigan.
00:54:04.000 You look at Grand Rapids.
00:54:05.000 I did a video.
00:54:05.000 Thank you.
00:54:07.000 Any Grand Rapidians in the house?
00:54:09.000 Yeah.
00:54:11.000 First off, people over there are nice.
00:54:14.000 They really are.
00:54:15.000 It felt like someone was tugging on the back of my collar.
00:54:20.000 Oh, Steven's done LSD again, kids.
00:54:23.000 People there are nice.
00:54:24.000 I had a guy, we were doing this undercover sting of the college socialists, and this guy was complaining, he's like, yeah, this city sucks, and, you know, the DeVos' and the Van Andels, they just really destroyed this city, and I said, oh, okay, what do you do?
00:54:35.000 He's like, I work for the Van Andels.
00:54:39.000 I mean, they really have.
00:54:39.000 You look at Grand Rapids, you compare it to Detroit.
00:54:41.000 You look at one that's expanded, one that's done incredibly well, one that's diversified, one that really was supported by free enterprise, conservative families and households.
00:54:48.000 And that's one thing, too.
00:54:49.000 I think a lot of people here from Michigan were kind of surprised.
00:54:52.000 Anyone here surprised initially at how vicious the attacks on Betsy DeVos were?
00:54:57.000 Yeah, I think almost everyone who's not a piece of crap.
00:55:00.000 They're like, Betsy DeVos, isn't she the worst?
00:55:02.000 And everyone in Michigan is like, ah, she like supports kids' hospitals.
00:55:07.000 And she's actually made schools better.
00:55:09.000 And they're like, no, we're pretty sure she's a whore.
00:55:11.000 We're like, OK.
00:55:13.000 I don't think that's allowed.
00:55:15.000 So you have Eastern Michigan, right?
00:55:18.000 You have entirely democratic rural Detroit.
00:55:20.000 Listen, I'm sorry.
00:55:20.000 I know some of you hipsters like to go to Detroit and drink coffee.
00:55:22.000 That's not how they live.
00:55:23.000 It doesn't save the city, all right?
00:55:24.000 Sorry.
00:55:26.000 Detroit needs to get rid of the crony.
00:55:28.000 The political corruption in Detroit knows no bounds.
00:55:31.000 You have Detroit.
00:55:32.000 Entirely democratic rule since, I think, Jerome Kavanaugh, 1961.
00:55:35.000 And then you have the other side of the state.
00:55:37.000 Or you have a place like Texas.
00:55:38.000 Right?
00:55:38.000 A place like Texas.
00:55:40.000 Woo!
00:55:40.000 Woo!
00:55:41.000 Where it could not grow fast enough.
00:55:43.000 People can't get their head around this.
00:55:45.000 Texas, okay?
00:55:46.000 It's not really fair to compare countries.
00:55:48.000 Like a good example, people talk about healthcare being a human right, and they try to compare us to Norway or Denmark.
00:55:53.000 It is funny.
00:55:55.000 Denmark is socialist!
00:55:56.000 The Prime Minister's like, uh, shut up, we're not socialists.
00:55:58.000 I'm pretty sure you are!
00:56:02.000 It's a lot more fair to compare states, I think, and comparing California or Michigan, but I think California and Texas are great examples.
00:56:09.000 So California is hemorrhaging people, the taxes are awful, their economy is collapsing underneath them.
00:56:15.000 According to Al Gore, they shouldn't have even existed, I think, four years ago, but we're banking on that climate change at some point.
00:56:21.000 And then you have Texas, right?
00:56:22.000 No state tax and a surplus for as long as I can remember.
00:56:27.000 You figure it out!
00:56:29.000 And then you have these Californians who move to Texas, right?
00:56:31.000 They move to Texas because I think, what is it?
00:56:33.000 There's Toyota that left, State Farm, Liberty Mutual, 15,000 jobs in one municipality.
00:56:37.000 I think it's Plano Frisco.
00:56:39.000 One municipality of Texas.
00:56:40.000 It's a suburb of Dallas.
00:56:42.000 And they come in and they try to vote in the crappy blue policies they left!
00:56:47.000 It's unreal to me!
00:56:49.000 If you want to talk about the delusions of today's left, just look at Californians today, who are chasing their dreams, their jobs, and a better life for their family in Texas, and then trying to turn it into California.
00:56:59.000 Good example, very comparable, would be people in a migrant caravan on their way over here, burning the American flag!
00:57:07.000 I don't know if you're booing me or burning the American flag, but I'll take it.
00:57:16.000 And we're told that we're mean.
00:57:17.000 Imagine someone going like, oh, okay, I'm going to come to your place for dinner.
00:57:21.000 Like, all right, fine.
00:57:22.000 By the way, I'm going to take a piss in your cooking pot, okay?
00:57:26.000 What is happening?
00:57:28.000 And Don Lemon's like, you know, you should let them in or you're racist.
00:57:30.000 You're like, why are you just looking like a dead Johnny Mathis back from the dead?
00:57:33.000 You have nothing interesting to say, Don Lemon.
00:57:36.000 So, uh, long way around to say, uh, probably no, not moving back to Michigan, but I do love Michigan.
00:57:41.000 Michigan has unbelievable natural beauty.
00:57:43.000 I love the people outside of, uh, you know, the people who, uh, live in Detroit.
00:57:48.000 Um, and, uh, I really do appreciate it.
00:57:50.000 So thank you for your question, sir.
00:57:51.000 All right, we're going to go over here.
00:57:58.000 Oh, mustard!
00:57:59.000 Okay, you're just... Is there an inside joke here, or is that just the only costume you had?
00:58:01.000 Uh, my friend's ketchup.
00:58:03.000 Mustard and ketchup, okay.
00:58:05.000 I love how ketchup is way happier.
00:58:07.000 It's because everyone loves him, and with you, they're not so sure.
00:58:10.000 You're like, ketchup?
00:58:12.000 Yes!
00:58:12.000 I'm putting my fries in.
00:58:13.000 Hi, mustard!
00:58:14.000 Get the hell away, mustard!
00:58:15.000 You're like Gerald.
00:58:17.000 Alright, but mustard has the question.
00:58:19.000 I couldn't tell if you were mustard or you were, uh, you were, uh, Bette Midler in Hocus Pocus with the little hat there going on.
00:58:25.000 But an Asian version.
00:58:26.000 Are you Latino?
00:58:27.000 Are you Asian?
00:58:28.000 I'm Indian.
00:58:29.000 Indian.
00:58:30.000 Well, she's got the feathers on her head, so, you know, get mad at her.
00:58:33.000 I'm a dot, not a feather.
00:58:35.000 I'm not in it.
00:58:37.000 Woo!
00:58:39.000 The truth is, I kind of knew it, but I was hoping I'd walk into that one.
00:58:45.000 I don't really care.
00:58:47.000 You're going through your whole own dot feather thing right now in India, so you shouldn't be one to throw stones, or whatever the hell it is you have left in India.
00:58:54.000 But go ahead.
00:58:56.000 Oh, now you're offended?
00:59:00.000 He's Indian, he's dressed as mustard, he's laughing his ass off.
00:59:03.000 Alright, what's your name, sir?
00:59:05.000 I'm Shane.
00:59:06.000 Shane, nice to meet you.
00:59:06.000 Shane, what's your question, Shane?
00:59:08.000 So, as an Indian vegan conservative, I'm a very independent-minded person, and I just can't comprehend the race card where, like, Oh, the whole hierarchy of white people, brown people, this, that, and the other thing.
00:59:20.000 I just don't get it.
00:59:21.000 How do you propose that I were to combat that as I go into college and I talk to teachers and stuff like that?
00:59:27.000 Well, I wouldn't propose you combat it.
00:59:29.000 As a vegan, you might not have the vigor.
00:59:33.000 No, see, every look he's laughing.
00:59:39.000 See, this is why it's a fun time to be here.
00:59:41.000 This is some kind of a leftist conversation.
00:59:43.000 Everyone will be like, oh my god, I cannot believe he said that to the dot Indian.
00:59:51.000 And I can't believe she's dressed like First Nations, but it's really like a red... I'm offended on so many levels.
00:59:57.000 And I don't even think they have mustard in India.
00:59:59.000 Oh my God, now I'm being racist.
01:00:00.000 And he said I-Indian, not N-Indian.
01:00:03.000 Is he a Mexican who's trying to pass himself off?
01:00:08.000 Your question is, how do you help combat that?
01:00:10.000 Yeah.
01:00:10.000 Listen, I think you are.
01:00:11.000 I think you are just being you.
01:00:14.000 That's it.
01:00:19.000 I mean, here's the truth.
01:00:20.000 We have Eric Nimmer, a good friend of Eric Nimmer on the show, a good friend of Owen Benjamin, for people who know him.
01:00:25.000 Former black military.
01:00:29.000 One of my favorite jokes from Eric Nimmer, I'm butchering it here, he can tell it to the overflow room, is he served in the military because he wanted white people to thank him for his freedom.
01:00:39.000 And here's the thing, he's not even that conservative, Nimmer.
01:00:42.000 He's like, all my family, they're all liberals, they're all former Democrats, and they just got so crazy.
01:00:47.000 Now, no one in my family is a Democrat.
01:00:49.000 It's like, but I'm not really a conservative.
01:00:51.000 You don't even have to be a conservative.
01:00:52.000 Just be you.
01:00:54.000 I mean, you're an Indian, right?
01:00:55.000 Where are you from?
01:00:56.000 What part of India?
01:00:57.000 Gujarat.
01:00:57.000 What was that?
01:00:58.000 My family's from Gujarat, but I was born here.
01:01:00.000 Okay, you were born here.
01:01:01.000 Alright, so you want to get past it, but you want to throw it down in the college resume.
01:01:08.000 He's like Sean King, the victim of a hate crime, but then when he needs to, it's like, I'm gonna check the Caucasian box.
01:01:14.000 And Elizabeth Warren's like, where's the Indian one?
01:01:16.000 I mean, maybe.
01:01:18.000 Look, I'm smoking a peace pipe.
01:01:20.000 I call my dad Paw Paw.
01:01:21.000 I'm a piece of crap.
01:01:27.000 So you're an Indian, not Native American.
01:01:30.000 That's Native American over there.
01:01:31.000 But your friend, Ketchup, is positively translucent.
01:01:36.000 I mean, his 23 and me shows up just... It just doesn't even show up.
01:01:39.000 It's like you have to put this in dark mode, invert colors.
01:01:42.000 And isn't that fantastic?
01:01:49.000 You two are like a buddy cop film.
01:01:51.000 That's how you answer it.
01:01:52.000 Just don't be afraid.
01:01:53.000 Again, this all goes back to it's really simple.
01:01:55.000 Listen, the coward's way out is really easy.
01:01:58.000 Keep your head down.
01:01:58.000 I used to talk about this, because I was in Hollywood, and I felt like I could do it for a long time.
01:02:01.000 You keep your head down, you say the right things, you don't piss off all the wrong people, and eventually, right, there's that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
01:02:08.000 It's never there.
01:02:09.000 It's never there.
01:02:11.000 So just do it.
01:02:11.000 Be who you are, where you are.
01:02:13.000 People see you and you say, yeah, by the way, I'm a conservative.
01:02:15.000 You watch leftist's head explode.
01:02:18.000 Right?
01:02:18.000 Wait, hold on a second.
01:02:19.000 I thought you said you were a dot.
01:02:23.000 Like, yeah, and I support lower taxes.
01:02:25.000 Oh, so is the dot like a mini Charles Manson swastika?
01:02:30.000 No, you're just a horrible person.
01:02:33.000 That would be my answer.
01:02:34.000 Be who you are.
01:02:34.000 What you're doing is great.
01:02:35.000 Have fun.
01:02:36.000 Be a happy warrior.
01:02:37.000 Just don't be intimidated by people who tell you what you have to be.
01:02:40.000 Because then the problem is too, listen, I make fun of vegans mostly because they can't fight back, but it's okay!
01:02:46.000 It's okay for you to be a vegan.
01:02:48.000 Just take it in stride.
01:02:49.000 And that's what I love about you.
01:02:50.000 I appreciate you asked the question.
01:02:52.000 Just don't be afraid.
01:02:53.000 Thank you so much.
01:02:53.000 We're gonna move on.
01:02:54.000 Gentleman right here.
01:02:59.000 Whoa, that is a busy shirt.
01:03:01.000 Is that writing or is that just a pattern?
01:03:03.000 Oh, it's a Hawaiian shirt.
01:03:04.000 Oh, okay.
01:03:05.000 Alright.
01:03:05.000 You from Hawaii?
01:03:06.000 Oh, no.
01:03:07.000 I'm Hollywood's new favorite socialist.
01:03:09.000 What's that?
01:03:09.000 You're what?
01:03:10.000 Ace Ventura.
01:03:11.000 Oh, okay.
01:03:11.000 I see what you did there.
01:03:13.000 Yes.
01:03:13.000 Yeah, I'm Ace Ventura.
01:03:15.000 I like it.
01:03:16.000 I like it.
01:03:17.000 I got it!
01:03:18.000 Okay, I see it now.
01:03:19.000 You know, I didn't see it before.
01:03:20.000 The red pants, the hair.
01:03:21.000 Yeah, you get the hair more.
01:03:22.000 Okay, Ace Ventura.
01:03:23.000 Alright, I appreciate it.
01:03:24.000 Was this a last minute costume?
01:03:25.000 I mean, it wasn't quite like the mug guy.
01:03:26.000 Oh no, yeah, it was last minute.
01:03:27.000 Yeah, he's like, it's last minute.
01:03:28.000 He's like, you got a tank top and a shirt that kinda... I don't know.
01:03:30.000 Am I like Jim Carrey?
01:03:32.000 That's pretty close, it's not bad.
01:03:33.000 Okay, what's your name, sir?
01:03:35.000 Eli.
01:03:35.000 Eli, alright, Eli.
01:03:36.000 We're going Old Testament.
01:03:37.000 What would you like, what's your question?
01:03:39.000 Well, Elijah, so really Old Testament.
01:03:42.000 Alright, there you go.
01:03:44.000 My question is, so I'm 18, so I don't have to identify with Millennials?
01:03:49.000 Thank God.
01:03:52.000 Wait, you're 18?
01:03:52.000 You're lucky.
01:03:53.000 Yes, I'm 18.
01:03:54.000 Oh shit, said Kevin Spacey from his cell. Continue.
01:04:01.000 I really hope the Hawaiian shirt could give me an aloha.
01:04:07.000 Stop.
01:04:07.000 Stop.
01:04:08.000 Stop clapping.
01:04:09.000 I'm terrible.
01:04:09.000 Alright, go ahead.
01:04:11.000 So, do you have any hope for Gen Z, you know, being more conservative?
01:04:16.000 They've kind of talked about... Oh, absolutely.
01:04:18.000 So what do you see us doing, or what do we have to do to finally get the country going?
01:04:23.000 So you're Generation Z at 18.
01:04:24.000 Where does Generation Z start exactly?
01:04:27.000 In 1990-something, you can identify with... I could technically identify... Yeah, it's like 96.
01:04:31.000 Yeah, no, I know, you can identify with anything now.
01:04:32.000 I identify as a baby boomer.
01:04:33.000 Yeah, I identify as a baby boomer.
01:04:35.000 Yeah, I collect Social Security, they're like, what?
01:04:38.000 I'm like, I know I could pick it later and technically get more, but I just want to steal stuff now.
01:04:42.000 They're like, okay.
01:04:44.000 No, listen, this is true, and I appreciate... Eli, thank you for the question, Eli.
01:04:47.000 This is actually a really important question.
01:04:49.000 Generation Z is possibly the most conservative generation ever.
01:04:53.000 Now, I know, yeah.
01:04:58.000 I mean, you know, that's why they were so busy trying to push David Hogg out.
01:05:01.000 That's a great example.
01:05:02.000 Generation Z is probably more pro-gun than... Don't boo me.
01:05:05.000 I say... It's not like Voldemort, okay?
01:05:06.000 I'm like, say the name... Boo!
01:05:08.000 And you have less leeway because you're Canadian!
01:05:12.000 So, Generation Z is probably more pro-gun than any generation prior.
01:05:18.000 Why?
01:05:18.000 They talk about gun culture 2.0 because you've played these video games where you see these ultra-realistic guns, you want to try them out, shoot them, you're not necessarily pro-Second Amendment, and then all of a sudden it kind of folds into that.
01:05:27.000 Also tend to be very pro-free speech.
01:05:29.000 And here's something that I've noticed, and I actually think is, I haven't heard a lot of people talk about this, this is entirely a theory, it's conjecture, okay?
01:05:35.000 So, wait, please tell me you're dressed as a terrorist.
01:05:38.000 I couldn't see you until just now.
01:05:42.000 I don't know.
01:05:43.000 Hey!
01:05:43.000 I came from Pampalas and Dearborn!
01:05:45.000 Ah!
01:05:47.000 What's a little money to Hezbollah?
01:05:51.000 Delicious food, by the way.
01:05:52.000 I think there was a place, actually.
01:05:53.000 What was the place that actually was funneling money to Hezbollah?
01:05:56.000 Lashish, right.
01:05:57.000 Or possibly all of them, but let's go with Lashish.
01:06:00.000 No, with Lashish, yes, I remember.
01:06:03.000 And listen, you know, they hate the Jews, but by God, their tabbouleh is tasty.
01:06:10.000 So Generation Z, they're winning issues.
01:06:12.000 Pro-gun, pro-free speech.
01:06:14.000 They've rejected this sort of pseudo third-wave feminism.
01:06:17.000 There's a lot of progress being made with Generation Z. And this is just kind of a theory that I have.
01:06:20.000 You know, millennials were sort of the last generation to bridge that gap with social media.
01:06:25.000 Right?
01:06:25.000 Millennials, when we... And I guess technically I'm a millennial at 31.
01:06:28.000 I'm not entirely sure.
01:06:31.000 One person's like...
01:06:33.000 A cheer, and then everyone else booing because I'm still Canadian.
01:06:35.000 I get it.
01:06:36.000 I'm going to leave very soon.
01:06:37.000 You people are terrible.
01:06:38.000 I'm never coming back to Ann Arbor.
01:06:42.000 No, I'm coming back, absolutely.
01:06:43.000 And we're going to sell out Hill Auditorium!
01:06:45.000 And then we're going to go up to Torch Lake and take a dump on Michael Moore's dock.
01:06:56.000 Symbolically!
01:06:57.000 You have to say that now, otherwise people are like, Michael Moore received an envelope, he's pretty sure it's the guy who's gonna take a dump on his dog.
01:07:05.000 So we were the last generation, right?
01:07:07.000 When I grew up, we didn't have Facebook, we didn't have Twitter, we didn't have Snapchat.
01:07:10.000 The closest thing was later on we had MySpace, and that sort of became like the whorehouse of the internet.
01:07:14.000 Before that there was Friendster, before that there was Zanga, which was, it was just nothing
01:07:17.000 but, it was nothing but Asians and, and, you know, dot Indians were on Zanga.
01:07:22.000 We didn't really have it, right?
01:07:23.000 So that's the last generation where, remember, you didn't really get the red pen.
01:07:28.000 Scores had to be evened out because you could insulate those kids.
01:07:31.000 We had kids who were bullied a little bit too much when you go to Baby Boomers in Generation
01:07:34.000 X and we, we had sort of, we just tossed them all in a school together, right?
01:07:37.000 We created the Federal Department of Education.
01:07:39.000 Let's say, let's see what happens here.
01:07:41.000 Okay, it's not really working out that well.
01:07:42.000 People are getting their asses kicked.
01:07:43.000 Test scores aren't really going up.
01:07:45.000 But then Generation Z, they've been raised now with social media their entire life, which is terrible in a way because the worst things you can possibly read, right, you see on social media.
01:07:54.000 It's toxic.
01:07:55.000 It's just like a drug.
01:07:56.000 You really need to keep usage of it absolutely limited.
01:07:58.000 Not today.
01:07:59.000 Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Crowder U of M, take over.
01:08:01.000 Shameless plug.
01:08:04.000 But you can't really hide.
01:08:06.000 And so I don't think professors, I don't think parents are able to insulate Generation Z so much.
01:08:10.000 So you have this generation, right, millennials, who kind of made it to college, who'd been told that they're amazing and they're perfect every way that they were, and none of us are, and they went there, and then there was a reality check in the workplace, and we've seen all kinds of problems with millennials in the workplace, whereas Generation Z have been told the most horrendous thing they could possibly imagine, since they could use a smartphone.
01:08:28.000 And so I think that'll have negative ramifications, but again, they have the ability to fact-check any bullcrap.
01:08:34.000 Same thing, anything I've said here tonight, right, you can just pull up your phone and be like, ugh, he's full of crap there.
01:08:39.000 Probably.
01:08:39.000 I have no idea what I say up here half the time.
01:08:44.000 And that's with Generation Z, and they're very pro-gun, pro-free speech.
01:08:48.000 So I actually have a lot of hope for Generation Z. I see far more people who are willing to listen and engage in a conversation, because once you cut through the white noise of all the terrible crap being said on social media, you know, we have genera- the younger people are always the ones who come up and change my mind and actually want to talk about it.
01:09:01.000 It's the old, it's the millennials, those people in that gap who are like, So I really do think the pendulum swings the other way and Generation Z, statistically as well, something else that's undeniable, they are more conservative right now at this point in their lives than baby boomers were.
01:09:22.000 So right now, a lot of people go, well, they're really not that conservative, they're liberal.
01:09:25.000 Yeah, they're liberal, but that's expected when you're young.
01:09:26.000 But for the first time, we actually have, sometimes on certain issues, a plurality of Generation Z folks.
01:09:32.000 What do you call them?
01:09:33.000 Generation Z-ers?
01:09:34.000 Z-ers?
01:09:35.000 The trans community won again!
01:09:37.000 Generation Z-ers!
01:09:38.000 I never thought of it until now!
01:09:40.000 Damn it, Caitlyn Jenner.
01:09:42.000 I'm already on the X-Men cover.
01:09:43.000 Go with it.
01:09:45.000 They are more conservative on certain issues than any generation before them at that snapshot in time in their lives, and that's something we don't hear about.
01:09:53.000 It's something to look out for.
01:09:54.000 It's some really good news, and it's also why I want fewer and fewer people to be afraid, because Generation Z is not as cowardly as many millennials were, and that really warms my heart.
01:10:03.000 Thank you so much, Eli, for your question.
01:10:05.000 I appreciate it.
01:10:06.000 I gotta go!
01:10:07.000 I gotta go!
01:10:07.000 We gotta go!
01:10:08.000 All right, socialism is for figs, sir.
01:10:10.000 You got a wonderful beard.
01:10:11.000 What's your name?
01:10:12.000 South Barber from Grand Rapids.
01:10:15.000 I didn't hear, did you say Sao Paulo from Grand Rapids?
01:10:18.000 What's your name?
01:10:19.000 Seth Barber.
01:10:20.000 Seth Barber.
01:10:21.000 Oh, you gave me a last name.
01:10:22.000 Alright, we're very formal, okay.
01:10:23.000 Well, we're quiet.
01:10:24.000 No, Sao Paulo was on the mind because I was just talking with Owen Benjamin backstage about Snake Island.
01:10:29.000 Anyone remember this, Snake Island?
01:10:32.000 That's a great idea.
01:10:33.000 Yes, just bomb it.
01:10:34.000 It's off the coast of Sao Paulo.
01:10:35.000 It's like eight square... Every single meter, square meter, there's like eight snakes.
01:10:39.000 They have flying snakes.
01:10:40.000 They have snakes that hunt in packs.
01:10:42.000 These snakes only exist on Snake Island.
01:10:45.000 Why can't we hunt them?
01:10:46.000 Well, it might disrupt the ecosystem.
01:10:48.000 Do you mean the ecosystem of only Snake Island?
01:10:53.000 Nuke it, for crying out loud!
01:10:55.000 Okay, yes.
01:10:56.000 Go ahead, Mr. Sao Paulo.
01:10:57.000 Well, this question was straight from my wife.
01:10:59.000 Um... And it's a personal one, so you don't have to answer it if you don't want to.
01:11:02.000 Alright.
01:11:03.000 Well, that's a little weird.
01:11:03.000 You're asking your wife's personal question, so... Do me a favor.
01:11:06.000 Do me a favor.
01:11:08.000 Ask it as a woman.
01:11:11.000 I'm gonna try.
01:11:15.000 Are you planning to have kids?
01:11:18.000 Like a woman!
01:11:19.000 That was my Christian tale.
01:11:20.000 If I were, like, mad at you, I'd be like, Like a woman!
01:11:24.000 I don't know why.
01:11:26.000 Yeah, of course, at some point.
01:11:27.000 But is that the only question from your wife?
01:11:29.000 Well, that was the only question that she wanted to know.
01:11:31.000 Yeah.
01:11:31.000 Well, listen, I mean, it's a loaded gun.
01:11:34.000 I've got to be careful with this thing, right?
01:11:35.000 I've got to pick my spots wisely.
01:11:37.000 Especially after this.
01:11:38.000 You know, my wife is visiting Michigan, too.
01:11:40.000 She's got family here.
01:11:41.000 I'm going to walk back in these assless chaps and ranger panties.
01:11:43.000 And if I don't want kids right away, I've got to be like, whoa, whoa, whoa!
01:11:48.000 Let's take it back a notch.
01:11:51.000 Yeah, it's a personal question.
01:11:53.000 I can't necessarily answer all the personal questions, but I'll tell you this.
01:11:55.000 I don't like kids.
01:11:57.000 I know I'll like my kids.
01:11:58.000 I was like, man, dad, I'm really scared.
01:12:01.000 I always thought I was going to want kids.
01:12:02.000 And kids are just really annoying and sticky.
01:12:06.000 And he's like, ah, I didn't like kids at all.
01:12:08.000 And then I had liked you.
01:12:09.000 I'm like, oh, OK, all right.
01:12:10.000 So no, I like some kids, actually.
01:12:11.000 Johnny Boy, who's a producer of mine, his daughter is just adorable.
01:12:14.000 Yeah, she's great.
01:12:15.000 Yeah, but she's very, very aggressive for a young girl.
01:12:19.000 She's three, and she asked me to marry her, and I was like, oh, that's cute, that's like, that's pretty cute, okay, we don't need to do that, and she's like, now.
01:12:28.000 And then she walks up, she grabs me by the neck, she goes, Stephen, Stephen, look at me.
01:12:33.000 Look at me.
01:12:34.000 Look at me!
01:12:36.000 Okay, she goes, you're what I've always dreamed of.
01:12:42.000 It's cute.
01:12:42.000 I'm like, first off, we mustn't be afraid to dream a little bigger, love.
01:12:44.000 Second, to make situations even more awkward, right, I turned to my friend, Johnny Boy, producer, wonderful man, and I turned to him and he goes, you're what I've always dreamed of.
01:12:54.000 And I go, hey, Johnny, just so you know, we're bros.
01:12:58.000 I would never take advantage.
01:13:04.000 After he peed himself laughing, he had me hauled out in cuffs.
01:13:07.000 So, yeah.
01:13:08.000 Eventually.
01:13:09.000 But tell your wife thank you, and thank you for bringing the mug.
01:13:11.000 Yeah.
01:13:11.000 Can I just send her a message real quick?
01:13:13.000 To your wife?
01:13:14.000 Yeah.
01:13:15.000 Alright.
01:13:15.000 Hey honey, I love you, and for the phone number that you put on my mug, thank you.
01:13:20.000 The first three digits is mine, but the last four are yours.
01:13:22.000 Alright.
01:13:23.000 Okay.
01:13:23.000 I don't know what's happening there.
01:13:25.000 She's pregnant, so she has pregnant brain.
01:13:27.000 Okay, what's your name?
01:13:28.000 Elizabeth.
01:13:29.000 Elizabeth.
01:13:29.000 Thank you, Elizabeth.
01:13:30.000 Thank you, Mr. Stoppall.
01:13:31.000 I know that's not your name.
01:13:33.000 What time is it?
01:13:33.000 We have to get going.
01:13:33.000 We have probably two more questions.
01:13:35.000 Two more.
01:13:35.000 Okay, we have two more questions.
01:13:37.000 Alright.
01:13:38.000 One more?
01:13:38.000 Is that what you just said?
01:13:39.000 Two.
01:13:40.000 Oh, two.
01:13:40.000 Alright.
01:13:40.000 Yeah, like Ann Arbor.
01:13:41.000 Like Ann Arbor.
01:13:42.000 Two!
01:13:44.000 Less here in my Ann Arbor.
01:13:45.000 Alright.
01:13:46.000 That was two.
01:13:47.000 Stop yelling.
01:13:47.000 Stop yelling.
01:13:48.000 Alright, who thinks they have a really, really good question?
01:13:52.000 The guy up front didn't even raise his hand.
01:13:53.000 He's like, no.
01:13:57.000 I don't want this kind of heat.
01:13:59.000 I'm out.
01:13:59.000 I'm out.
01:14:00.000 We're going to go two more.
01:14:02.000 OK, since you were here, what's your name, sir?
01:14:04.000 Trevor.
01:14:04.000 Trevor.
01:14:05.000 Nice to meet you, Trevor.
01:14:06.000 OK.
01:14:06.000 You too.
01:14:06.000 What is your question, Trevor?
01:14:08.000 By the way, what's your name, sweetheart, with a full featherhead Indian native outfit here?
01:14:12.000 What's?
01:14:13.000 Elizabeth.
01:14:13.000 Oh, it says Elizabeth Warren on your shirt.
01:14:16.000 OK, so that's your costume.
01:14:17.000 But what's your real name?
01:14:19.000 Izzy.
01:14:19.000 Okay.
01:14:20.000 So you just decided you wanted to walk through this campus right now and piss everybody off on your way to the show tonight?
01:14:24.000 Good for you!
01:14:25.000 Good for you!
01:14:28.000 Him too!
01:14:28.000 Him too!
01:14:29.000 Let's all be a little bit more like Izzy!
01:14:32.000 And that guy!
01:14:33.000 But I'm pretty sure she's cute, he's just a racist.
01:14:36.000 So, don't be like that guy.
01:14:38.000 He's the one sending clocks.
01:14:41.000 With get-or-done stickers that look remarkably like ISIS flags.
01:14:44.000 I don't know.
01:14:44.000 Stop asking questions.
01:14:48.000 All right.
01:14:49.000 So, uh, you've mentioned that the movie The Edge starring Anthony Hopkins.
01:14:52.000 Yes!
01:14:53.000 The Edge!
01:14:54.000 My favorite film.
01:14:55.000 If you have not seen it, The Edge with Anthony Hopkins, Alec Baldwin.
01:14:58.000 It is the single most conservative film ever made.
01:15:00.000 And by the way, the guy who created it, David Mamet, Glen Gary, Glen Ross, is one of the most prolific playwrights ever.
01:15:04.000 He wrote in a New York, uh, New York Times or Washington Post, an article, why I'm no longer a brain dead liberal.
01:15:09.000 He wrote The Edge before he wrote that article.
01:15:12.000 It's proof positive of someone who's a conservative and doesn't know it yet.
01:15:16.000 If you have not seen The Edge, please go rent it.
01:15:19.000 It's unbelievable.
01:15:20.000 It is the perfect motion picture, except for one scene where the green screen is kind of obvious with this grizzly bear, and you're like, shit!
01:15:25.000 It would have been perfect!
01:15:26.000 So it's like a 9.9.
01:15:28.000 But yes, The Edge.
01:15:29.000 Sorry, if we talk about Snake Island or The Edge, I'm going to get jacked.
01:15:33.000 Understandable.
01:15:34.000 So, uh, in the movie, Anthony Hopkins plays a rich, powerful, uh, man, and, uh... Charles.
01:15:41.000 Yes.
01:15:41.000 And, uh, you know, he's very helpful to the people in the movie, and... Yeah?
01:15:46.000 Uh, I was wondering why you think, uh, in the real world, people on the left would vilify someone like that with money, power, even though he's helping people.
01:15:53.000 Right.
01:15:54.000 You mean not named Charles.
01:15:56.000 Okay.
01:15:59.000 Um, no, I think it's a great, and that's why The Edge, for people who don't know, let me give you a little bit of, kind of a briefer.
01:16:03.000 The Edge is a... Let me give you a briefing on it.
01:16:06.000 The Edge is really, Anthony Hopkins is this billionaire guy, and he actually, so spoiler alert, he starts off as a really good guy, and you're waiting for every single film, right?
01:16:13.000 The billionaire is gonna be like, HAHAHAHAHAHA!
01:16:16.000 RAIN FOREST!
01:16:17.000 I'VE DESTROYED YOU FOREVER!
01:16:19.000 AND I KICKED THAT KID!
01:16:23.000 The Edge is one of the very few films where the billionaire actually is a good guy who saves bad people, who saves some people who are selfish.
01:16:29.000 And here's one thing.
01:16:30.000 This is a big, I think, a defining difference between the right and the left, okay?
01:16:33.000 We talk about this with identity politics.
01:16:35.000 We think it applies only to, you know, race, mustard, and ketchup.
01:16:39.000 But it applies to classes, too.
01:16:41.000 Listen, money amplifies character.
01:16:44.000 If you're a terrible person, you're gonna be a terrible person with money.
01:16:46.000 If you're a good person, you're gonna be a good person with money.
01:16:49.000 And the truth is, typically speaking, we like to be... A lot of people teach us that everyone has to cheat, and game the system, and lie, and screw people to become wealthy.
01:16:57.000 No!
01:16:57.000 To get into DC, yeah, most of the time.
01:16:59.000 But not to run a business!
01:17:01.000 Most business owners in this country, they're paying people, the first people to think about when their head hits the pillow at night, they're employees.
01:17:06.000 When they wake up, when they go to bed, it's the last, it's the last people to think about when they go to bed, it's the first people to think about when they get up.
01:17:11.000 In The Edge, this film, it really is an unbelievable film, because again, like I said, David Mamet didn't know that he was a conservative, and he wrote this whole film, and you're waiting for the guy, the billionaire to be the bad guy, and he never shows up.
01:17:23.000 The good thing is when we talk about being open-minded, and it's funny, right, they talk about the gender binary.
01:17:27.000 There's no gender binary.
01:17:28.000 We don't want to go with science, but when it comes to success, when it comes to finances, when it comes to power, there's good, successful, powerful, strong, And evil, the poor, the downtrodden.
01:17:40.000 Therefore, the good have to give all their crap.
01:17:42.000 But the truth is, sometimes the powerful, they got that way by actually doing the right thing.
01:17:47.000 And sometimes someone who's been on food stamps for their entire life, not everyone, some people get a tough break sometimes.
01:17:51.000 Sometimes the guy who's been suckling at the government teat ever since he was a small child is actually just a selfish, lazy person.
01:17:58.000 Not always.
01:17:59.000 And sometimes the guy who makes a ton of money, like a Soros, is not a good person.
01:18:04.000 We don't have to fit into this.
01:18:05.000 It's just so funny that the left tries to act as if they're open-minded.
01:18:08.000 We're gonna break out of the gender binary!
01:18:11.000 I am born, right?
01:18:14.000 And you say, yeah!
01:18:16.000 What about this idea that wealthy people have to be bad and poor people are altruistic?
01:18:21.000 Son of a bitch!
01:18:22.000 That's the truth!
01:18:24.000 And I don't buy it!
01:18:25.000 And I think that's why it's important.
01:18:26.000 I think the left vilifies success.
01:18:29.000 Again, the left automatically grants you the moral high ground.
01:18:31.000 I've talked about this before.
01:18:32.000 And it's a very dangerous mode of thinking.
01:18:34.000 And here's the thing.
01:18:35.000 This is why so many young people are liberals, leftists, and they become more conservative as they get older.
01:18:40.000 So you do ask, what do you do?
01:18:41.000 I do think that's why I say smiling, being empathetic, being nice, having a good time.
01:18:45.000 That changes people.
01:18:47.000 What starts people's change, what starts them on that trajectory, is not always You know the fact.
01:18:52.000 It's not always just giving them a Thomas Sowell book.
01:18:54.000 It's not talking about marginal tax rates.
01:18:56.000 It's not talking about a GDP that the left said could never possibly happen under Trump.
01:19:00.000 And we're like, ah shit!
01:19:02.000 It's not that.
01:19:03.000 Sometimes it's how they feel around you.
01:19:05.000 And you have to be the life of the party.
01:19:07.000 You have to be a good person.
01:19:08.000 Because the left grants the moral high ground to people who are the poorest and most downtrodden and automatically assumes that they're correct.
01:19:13.000 The same thing with Israel and Palestine.
01:19:15.000 Look at that.
01:19:16.000 And that's unbelievable.
01:19:17.000 I know we're going to have some libertarians here who are like, false flag!
01:19:19.000 All right, listen.
01:19:21.000 Or the YouTube people.
01:19:22.000 The Jews!
01:19:22.000 We're back there again.
01:19:23.000 But if you look at Israel and Palestine, you look at some people who tunnel underneath towns to target women and children, and then they defend themselves by hiding in grade schools and mosques.
01:19:33.000 Again, around women and children.
01:19:35.000 And Israel builds up an entire, basically a force field, to defend who now?
01:19:40.000 Who now?
01:19:41.000 Who now?
01:19:41.000 Their women and children.
01:19:42.000 The left hates Israel.
01:19:44.000 Look at the charitable.
01:19:46.000 Look at the charitable.
01:19:52.000 It's statistically undeniable.
01:19:53.000 If the wealthy people in this country, particularly conservative Christians, they tend to give the most to charity.
01:19:57.000 It's not even close.
01:19:59.000 There's a book, I think it was by David Brooks, who really cares, and I think the book talks about this.
01:20:03.000 The single biggest determining factor is their faith, and then...
01:20:06.000 Their political affiliation.
01:20:07.000 And then particularly level of income.
01:20:09.000 Middle income people don't give as much as upper middle income people.
01:20:12.000 And not as much as wealthy people.
01:20:13.000 And poor people give less than wealthy people.
01:20:15.000 Now I know you're saying, well that's just because they're poor, they don't have as much to give as a percentage of their income.
01:20:19.000 That doesn't mean that all poor people are bad.
01:20:22.000 It just means that we shouldn't grant them automatically the moral high ground, and that's why you see the left today.
01:20:26.000 It's a prime example.
01:20:27.000 The edge is such a shocker.
01:20:28.000 You watch, you're like, oh my god, I thought billionaires were always bad.
01:20:31.000 Why?
01:20:32.000 Because the left is trying to sell you that the guy, Antifa guy, dragging an old man from a car and punching him in his face, who's on the way to work to build the crap that that guy punching him in the face probably wants to be stolen from him at gunpoint by the federal government, they want you to side with that guy.
01:20:46.000 Because he's wearing a ripped up hoodie.
01:20:46.000 Why?
01:20:48.000 So he must have the moral high ground.
01:20:50.000 Don't buy it!
01:20:51.000 It's easy to fall into this trap because most people, most people are empathetic.
01:20:56.000 They're sympathetic.
01:20:56.000 They look at people who need a leg up and you say, oh my gosh, you know what this guy needs?
01:20:59.000 I feel for this guy and you want to help them and the left tells you, well, that's because they were screwed by somebody just like you or someone who's wealthy.
01:21:05.000 It's not true.
01:21:06.000 There are good people who are wealthy and powerful and there are bad people who are poor and weak.
01:21:10.000 There are good people who are strong and there are bad... That's actually one thing I actually just misspoke.
01:21:15.000 There are no bad people who are strong.
01:21:18.000 The only one that you can look at, we're talking about strength of character.
01:21:22.000 There are people who are weak of character and people who are good.
01:21:26.000 People who are strong.
01:21:27.000 People who have backbone.
01:21:28.000 People who have spine.
01:21:29.000 And guess what?
01:21:29.000 Those people can be rich, poor, black, white, yellow, Indian, or Injun.
01:21:33.000 It doesn't matter.
01:21:34.000 They span the spectrum.
01:21:36.000 But the left wants you to think it exists in a binary.
01:21:38.000 Hey, there's that word again.
01:21:39.000 It doesn't.
01:21:40.000 So I think that's why that film was probably one of my favorites.
01:21:42.000 It's shocking to watch.
01:21:43.000 Go watch The Edge and read more David Mamet.
01:21:45.000 Alright, last question.
01:21:46.000 I know a few people have said they have really, really, really good questions.
01:21:49.000 Get a good one.
01:21:52.000 Hold on a second here.
01:21:57.000 I think you're looking to just make some... Alright, let's see.
01:22:00.000 I'm pro-life change.
01:22:01.000 Alright, hat, shirt.
01:22:02.000 Then we have to get going.
01:22:03.000 Alright, what's your name, sir?
01:22:05.000 My name is Matt.
01:22:07.000 What?
01:22:08.000 Oh, but because you dress like a terrorist, they have to answer you?
01:22:12.000 It's what?
01:22:15.000 Oh, he disagrees.
01:22:16.000 All right.
01:22:17.000 Well, sorry, you should have gotten up sooner.
01:22:19.000 I disagree with your 40-yard dash.
01:22:22.000 All right.
01:22:24.000 Yeah, let's go.
01:22:24.000 My name is Matt, Mr. Carter.
01:22:25.000 I wanted to, first off, I wanted to thank you.
01:22:27.000 I wouldn't have ever watched the Gosnell movie if you hadn't promoted it on your show.
01:22:32.000 That was a really great movie.
01:22:35.000 Fantastic film.
01:22:36.000 I took one of my liberal friends and she enjoyed it as well.
01:22:38.000 But my question is two parts.
01:22:40.000 First off, in discussing things with my family, what would you say to the people who accuse you of being an AIDS denier?
01:22:48.000 I understand that you're, you know, that it's joking when you go out and say that obviously No, AIDS is a real thing.
01:22:54.000 Right, absolutely.
01:22:54.000 Just don't have group sex with trucks.
01:22:55.000 There's a truck stop with strangers.
01:22:57.000 But would you agree that heterosexual people can get AIDS as well?
01:23:02.000 Sure, sure.
01:23:03.000 They're not... Sure, yeah, it's a statistical non-risk.
01:23:05.000 But yeah, go ahead.
01:23:06.000 What's part two?
01:23:07.000 Part two is, how would you help me shut down all the people who keep asking what happened to Sven Computer?
01:23:12.000 Well, Sun Computer's back in Germany.
01:23:14.000 So you said you had an important question.
01:23:15.000 So, he's back in Germany right now.
01:23:17.000 We wish him the best.
01:23:17.000 You know, that's always kind of complicated.
01:23:19.000 As far as an AIDS denier, I don't know where that started.
01:23:21.000 You know, we talked about, I don't know if you remember this, Oprah said one in five couples will have AIDS by the year 1994.
01:23:27.000 I think it was 1994 or 1996.
01:23:31.000 That includes heterosexual couples.
01:23:32.000 It's never even been close.
01:23:34.000 I've never denied that AIDS exists.
01:23:36.000 Again, this is what the left does.
01:23:37.000 They take something that's true and you say, the AIDS epidemic was a host.
01:23:41.000 It was a hoax.
01:23:42.000 I don't know about you, but I remember when I was in school, and they came in and they said, listen, kids, we need to talk about AIDS.
01:23:45.000 And I was like, oh, all right.
01:23:46.000 So you're telling us, like, don't have unprotected sex, like the people in Rent in the East Village, or use a bunch of dirty heroin needles, and we should be safe, right?
01:23:53.000 Like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
01:23:54.000 Just if you have a friend who has, like, a scrape on their knee, don't touch them!
01:23:59.000 That was how they taught us to avoid AIDS.
01:24:00.000 There was this false epidemic thrust upon the American public that everyone was at risk, and it just wasn't true.
01:24:06.000 If anyone wants to call that a denier, all right, then I guess I'm an AIDS denier, I guess.
01:24:10.000 I mean, it's one of those things that I don't really care about that much.
01:24:13.000 But it's really bastardized.
01:24:14.000 You see that by the left?
01:24:15.000 We're gonna have to go with one more question.
01:24:16.000 I think you said you disagree.
01:24:18.000 Is that it?
01:24:18.000 You disagree?
01:24:19.000 Okay, let's go, and then we'll keep it.
01:24:20.000 One last question.
01:24:21.000 Thank you, sir!
01:24:25.000 All right.
01:24:27.000 I wanted to know, I had a different question.
01:24:28.000 It was about trans people.
01:24:29.000 I thought that it's not necessarily great to make fun of them because it's kind of like punching down, but I wanted to know why you call this a terrorist costume.
01:24:35.000 Because it's funny.
01:24:39.000 Okay, that's fair.
01:24:41.000 That is fair.
01:24:41.000 It's a comedy show.
01:24:43.000 I'd like to say the whole rape and Hezbollah funding, I think you have a bad perception of Dearborn.
01:24:47.000 I know you had a video there, but I'd like to extend an invite to come and see how Muslims really live in Dearborn.
01:24:51.000 We don't fund Hezbollah or rape people.
01:24:55.000 Well, I'm glad you don't.
01:24:56.000 And by the way, I never said everyone funded Hezbollah.
01:24:58.000 Just Lasheesh, right?
01:25:00.000 Yeah.
01:25:01.000 Well, that's just one guy.
01:25:02.000 I mean, there's 200,000 of us living in the vicinity.
01:25:04.000 I mean, it's just one guy.
01:25:05.000 Sure.
01:25:05.000 I mean, the American government gives money to Saudi Arabia and they're bombing the hell out of Yemen.
01:25:09.000 Right.
01:25:09.000 That's the equivalent of what Hezbollah does.
01:25:10.000 I agree.
01:25:11.000 What's the difference?
01:25:11.000 I mean, you can't just create this equivalency and say that we're doing one thing and...
01:25:15.000 What equivalents did I create?
01:25:17.000 You're just saying, okay, so one guy from our town funded Hezbollah.
01:25:20.000 That doesn't mean that every time we bring up Dearborn, oh, it's a Muslim ghetto, or they're funding Hezbollah.
01:25:24.000 Yes.
01:25:26.000 So why don't you portray us fairly?
01:25:27.000 Why do you have to call us a terrorist costume and, oh, they're funding Hezbollah?
01:25:31.000 Okay, so first off, first point, I think I've answered your question.
01:25:34.000 Okay.
01:25:34.000 It's funny.
01:25:36.000 Second part, about Tranny punching him about funding Hezbollah, I talked about a specific restaurant that was caught funding Hezbollah.
01:25:43.000 Is this a correct story or not?
01:25:44.000 Yeah, it is a correct story.
01:25:45.000 How many hijackers came through Dearborn, Michigan?
01:25:47.000 Excuse me?
01:25:47.000 How many hijackers came through Dearborn, Michigan?
01:25:49.000 I have no idea.
01:25:52.000 Take a wild guess.
01:25:53.000 And you mean the 9-11 hijackers?
01:25:54.000 Yeah, 9-11.
01:25:55.000 Let's go with that for starters.
01:25:56.000 I mean, maybe they have a... Right.
01:25:57.000 Now, of course, not everyone in... Just like not everyone in Dearborn supports your view.
01:26:00.000 Of course not everyone in Dearborn is a terrorist, right?
01:26:03.000 And I don't think that you're dressed like a terrorist, to be clear.
01:26:06.000 Just like I was talking about Owen Benjamin.
01:26:07.000 He's dressed like Liberace.
01:26:08.000 He's not a gay pianist, right?
01:26:10.000 All right?
01:26:10.000 This part of this is meant to be a comedy show.
01:26:12.000 As far as how it relates to Islam versus Christianity, like that question, I think there is a shocking statistic, a shocking number of people who support things that aren't in line with Western values.
01:26:22.000 And that's okay.
01:26:23.000 People, I mean, can you name me a single Islamic country where there's freedom of speech like we have in the United States?
01:26:27.000 One.
01:26:28.000 Well, that's kind of a Western value though.
01:26:30.000 You can't expect us to have that.
01:26:31.000 I'm not saying it's bad.
01:26:35.000 I'm not saying it's bad.
01:26:37.000 So you support freedom of speech?
01:26:39.000 So you support freedom of speech though?
01:26:40.000 In this country I do support freedom of speech, but I can't tell someone in my home country to support it or not support it because they have their own way of living.
01:26:46.000 No, you can't tell them what to do.
01:26:47.000 I can say they're wrong.
01:26:48.000 But can you appreciate that people have different ways of living?
01:26:51.000 Sure, I can.
01:26:51.000 This is a big thing, too, by the way.
01:26:53.000 What was your name, sir?
01:26:54.000 Muhammad Ali.
01:26:55.000 Muhammad Ali?
01:26:56.000 Is that really your name?
01:26:58.000 Thank you for your question, Muhammad Ali.
01:27:00.000 I appreciate it.
01:27:00.000 Let's hear it for Muhammad Ali.
01:27:01.000 Thank you.
01:27:07.000 This is crazy to me when people say, like, why can't you appreciate different worldviews?
01:27:11.000 I can.
01:27:12.000 I appreciate different worldviews.
01:27:14.000 That's why... Hold on a second.
01:27:15.000 Listen, the guy was bold enough to ask a question and I appreciate it.
01:27:18.000 Let's not shut him down.
01:27:19.000 Let's not do the mob rule here.
01:27:20.000 Alright?
01:27:24.000 I appreciate different points of view.
01:27:26.000 I explore different points of view.
01:27:28.000 That's why I'm free to say I don't like the crappy ones.
01:27:31.000 And I'm sorry, but if your country doesn't believe in freedom of speech and you said it, not me, it's a Western value, guess what?
01:27:37.000 I'm going with the Western values country!
01:27:40.000 If there's a country, that's okay, that's enough, your question's done.
01:27:43.000 If there's a country that says, alright, a woman needs X amount of witnesses to prove a rape, and right here we're putting Kavanaugh on trial because Christy Ford said something might have happened sometime, some space of, I have no idea where, when, how, who, and the people who she said who said, I wasn't there, I was completely full of crap.
01:27:59.000 If we're gonna bitch about that, but then talk about countries where people get off with rape completely scot-free, I go, I'm with the Western Values country!
01:28:10.000 If we have countries, if there are countries where there's death for apostasy, I don't care whether it's Islam, whether it's Christianity, or they're burning churches in record numbers, and there are people saying, hey, you know what?
01:28:20.000 I think that's wrong.
01:28:21.000 I'm with the Western Values Country!
01:28:24.000 If there's a place out there where people say that you should actually be killed for
01:28:33.000 converting or you should be subjected to some kind of dimitude or a poll tax if you don't
01:28:37.000 fall in line with some kind of religion, or if there are entire administrations, systems
01:28:41.000 of government that rely on subjugation, conversion, or death, I'm with the country that doesn't
01:28:47.000 do that!
01:28:48.000 Thank you.
01:28:50.000 And here's the thing.
01:28:51.000 It doesn't mean I hate those people.
01:28:53.000 It doesn't mean I hate all of the people in those countries.
01:28:55.000 But guess what?
01:28:56.000 If it comes into some kind of a global conflict where the country that says yes, free speech, yes, women's rights, yes, freedom of religion, yes, a democratic republic, and the countries that say none of that, all right!
01:29:08.000 Surf's up!
01:29:08.000 We're dropping some bombs!
01:29:10.000 I'm fine with that!
01:29:14.000 If the values that I'm talking about right now aren't worth fighting for, then nothing is.
01:29:19.000 It doesn't mean that I hate people.
01:29:21.000 It just means I think they're wrong.
01:29:22.000 And that's one thing the left constantly tells us.
01:29:24.000 Well, you have to think someone's right to appreciate it.
01:29:27.000 No!
01:29:29.000 What's that?
01:29:31.000 I'm not a big fan of Saudi Arabia.
01:29:32.000 That's a pretty generalized question.
01:29:34.000 What do you... Saudi Arabia!
01:29:39.000 Your move, Canadian.
01:29:42.000 And I want to close with this.
01:29:43.000 You're good.
01:29:44.000 You're done.
01:29:44.000 Thank you.
01:29:45.000 Freedom of speech, we'll kind of understand it a little better.
01:29:47.000 We can talk about it after the show.
01:29:48.000 It doesn't mean you get to keep asking questions.
01:29:50.000 Other people have lined up.
01:29:51.000 I appreciate the questions.
01:29:52.000 We do have to get going.
01:29:53.000 One thing I wanted to go back to was where we talked about earlier, this idea of fear, of whether you should speak out in your class with your professors.
01:29:59.000 And here's something that's pretty remarkable.
01:30:01.000 That person said they were afraid.
01:30:04.000 I understand it.
01:30:05.000 And we just had someone say, yeah, but those are Western values, freedom of speech.
01:30:10.000 How can you say that they're right?
01:30:12.000 One person's afraid of saying, Western values are right, I support freedom of speech.
01:30:17.000 And one person's not afraid to say, how do you know that those values are right?
01:30:21.000 Both live in this country.
01:30:23.000 Why do we make trans jokes?
01:30:25.000 Why do we make jokes about Islam?
01:30:27.000 Why do we tell jokes that sometimes are on the edge where sometimes we look in the pitch meeting and Owen, Nimmer, and I go, man, this really shouldn't make air.
01:30:33.000 And we say, but we kind of have to do it.
01:30:35.000 It's because when people tell you what you can't talk about, what you can't make fun of,
01:30:39.000 you know that you have to do it because somebody has to do it.
01:30:42.000 And here's something else I want to talk with you about.
01:30:50.000 You know, Jordan Peterson talks about telling the truth a lot, or at least not lying.
01:30:53.000 And I've talked about this a lot too, telling the truth.
01:30:55.000 Particularly not lying to yourself.
01:30:56.000 Why?
01:30:57.000 Because the lies you tell yourself will eat away at your soul for the rest of your life.
01:31:02.000 You cannot look yourself in the mirror, lie to yourself, and have respect for yourself as a human being.
01:31:06.000 And you can't even hope to change hearts or minds.
01:31:09.000 But there's something else that's really important with truth.
01:31:12.000 And to the man, I think it was Evan who asked with his cape.
01:31:15.000 And it's happened recently.
01:31:16.000 I was actually visiting northern Michigan on a long weekend.
01:31:20.000 And there's a lady, a friend of our family, her husband died.
01:31:24.000 And we said, listen, how are you doing?
01:31:26.000 And you know what she said?
01:31:26.000 You know what?
01:31:27.000 It's been really hard.
01:31:29.000 It's been really hard.
01:31:30.000 The furnace went out, and I just kind of feel like I can't handle one more thing.
01:31:34.000 And we said, listen, I know you feel that way.
01:31:36.000 I can't imagine what you're going through.
01:31:38.000 I can only try to imagine, but you probably can't.
01:31:41.000 You probably can't handle one more thing.
01:31:42.000 And she said, wow, thanks.
01:31:44.000 That's what I needed to hear.
01:31:45.000 It sounds silly.
01:31:47.000 There was someone else who had just recently gotten married.
01:31:50.000 We love this person.
01:31:51.000 She's a server, and she's always very nice, very friendly.
01:31:53.000 We said, hey, how's it going?
01:31:54.000 We just got married.
01:31:55.000 And she said, you know what, honestly?
01:31:58.000 It's kind of been tough.
01:32:00.000 It's been a tough first year.
01:32:02.000 You know what I said to my wife?
01:32:02.000 I said, the first year of marriage is always the toughest.
01:32:05.000 And I've written about that.
01:32:07.000 I've written about abstinence until marriage.
01:32:09.000 I know.
01:32:09.000 They're like, what?
01:32:09.000 You just did the Trinity named Sue joke.
01:32:11.000 Yeah, I was abstinent until I was married.
01:32:12.000 So still kind of a traditionalist Christian here.
01:32:18.000 And we're always taught this idea that there's this honeymoon phase where marriage is easy the first year.
01:32:21.000 No!
01:32:22.000 Again, if you understand that you're flawed, two very flawed, imperfect people joining in unity, the first year is hard.
01:32:28.000 And I said this to this woman, and so did my wife.
01:32:29.000 I said, yeah, listen, it gets easier.
01:32:31.000 See a counselor.
01:32:32.000 It helps.
01:32:32.000 You're two people who've lived very different lives, and now you're joining them.
01:32:35.000 Of course.
01:32:35.000 You have a certain way you do the dishes, let alone how you make your bed, let alone how you view the world.
01:32:40.000 People are going to see it differently.
01:32:41.000 Marriage is hard the first year.
01:32:43.000 And she said, you know what?
01:32:45.000 You're the first people who said that.
01:32:46.000 Now, we didn't say, let us teach you about marriage.
01:32:49.000 I didn't do the Steven Seagal thing.
01:32:52.000 I've been married four times.
01:32:55.000 And all my wives say, you're amazing.
01:32:58.000 You know, it's not like, Steven Seagal, didn't you poop your pants once on stage?
01:33:01.000 That's a lie.
01:33:04.000 We just said, marriage is really hard.
01:33:05.000 We fought like cats and dogs the first year.
01:33:07.000 And it helped her.
01:33:09.000 We just said, listen, I know, listen, I know it's really hard, this is really hard, marriage is hard, it's hard when you lose a spouse.
01:33:14.000 Sometimes just speaking the truth, it's not about how it helps yourself.
01:33:17.000 It's about everyone around you.
01:33:19.000 That's the huge thing.
01:33:20.000 When we talk about right or wrong, left or right, black or white, Indian or Injun, right?
01:33:26.000 There's one thing, there's one through line, and I hope you get this in the show, and obviously we do satire, and sometimes we go a little bit too far.
01:33:32.000 There's one through line that matters above all else, and it's truth.
01:33:36.000 It is truth, and it's not only because truth we've heard about.
01:33:38.000 Truth will set you free.
01:33:39.000 So often people hear this when we talk about truth.
01:33:42.000 And they talk about speaking truth to power, and they're talking about themselves.
01:33:45.000 They're talking about, I need to be truthful because that's better for me in the long run because no one's that good of a liar, right?
01:33:49.000 We hear that all the time.
01:33:50.000 You better tell the truth because no one's that good of a liar.
01:33:52.000 But how often do we hear people talk about how you telling the truth, and not your truth, but living the truth and telling the truth, helps everybody around you.
01:34:02.000 And if you want to know why that is, you doubt that for a second, and you talk about how you're afraid to speak out in class, you talk about how you're maybe afraid to speak out in the entertainment industry, well, guess what?
01:34:11.000 There are a lot of other people out there like you who aren't necessarily telling the truth because they're afraid.
01:34:17.000 And wouldn't it be great if every time you walked into a room, whether it's a classroom, whether it's a business meeting, you were actually aware of the fact that that sampling represented the general populace, and it was like the roar that you hear here.
01:34:29.000 Because the truth doesn't just set you free, it helps every single person around you.
01:34:33.000 And right now, today, in 2018, it is not something that I recommend.
01:34:37.000 It is absolutely your civic duty to speak the truth as often and as loudly as you can, so that everyone else can hear you!
01:34:45.000 Thank you so much, U of M!
01:34:47.000 I hear you.
01:34:47.000 I love you.
01:34:48.000 I am so appreciative and humbled.
01:34:51.000 God bless you.
01:34:52.000 God bless the United States of America.