Louder with Crowder - November 09, 2018


#415 OMG GENDER POLITICS GAP! | Larry the Cable Guy Guests | Louder With Crowder


Episode Stats

Length

1 hour and 9 minutes

Words per Minute

196.22668

Word Count

13,677

Sentence Count

1,259

Misogynist Sentences

60

Hate Speech Sentences

38


Summary

Tucker Carlson and Jim Acosta have a heated exchange of words about each other. Plus, we have an update on the mass shooting in Thousand Oaks, California, and a special guest appearance from an Islamic PR rep for ISIS.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Louder with Crowder Studios.
00:00:01.000 Protected exclusively by Walther.
00:00:04.000 and hopper Neglected by the system
00:00:22.000 In a world of deplatforming and bogus hate speech guidelines... Ain't nobody care about us.
00:00:27.000 ...until one teacher... So why should we even try and fight it, Holmes?
00:00:31.000 ...changed everything.
00:00:34.000 Because there's nothing cool about letting them silence you.
00:00:40.000 Because in my class, free speech is its own reward, homie.
00:00:50.000 And you don't have to go through life a victim.
00:00:53.000 That's a choice!
00:00:54.000 You come and live in my neighborhood for one week and then you tell me if you got a choice.
00:00:58.000 I'm the kind of G that little YouTube wanna f*** with till I serve them in the night.
00:01:02.000 Half Asian in the street light.
00:01:04.000 BANG This is the life.
00:01:10.000 This is the life.
00:01:14.000 You have to rage against the dying of the light.
00:01:18.000 you Dammit, you promised you'd fight back.
00:01:20.000 If match life is going to be worth a damn, you better give me your best.
00:01:23.000 I need your best!
00:01:24.000 Some of us don't have that kind of cash just laying around like USA.
00:01:27.000 And your friends six feet under already made theirs, dammit!
00:01:30.000 When I was your age, we didn't have Mug Club.
00:01:31.000 We didn't have anything like Mug Club.
00:01:33.000 I would have killed for Mug Club, but we have it now.
00:01:38.000 We have it now because it's 2016, dammit!
00:01:40.000 It is 2016!
00:01:41.000 Shut the f*** up, Jorge!
00:01:41.000 But it's 2018!
00:01:43.000 Shut the f*** up Jorge!
00:01:43.000 This 2018.
00:01:45.000 This 2018 Dangerous Mugs
00:01:51.000 Mugs Mugs
00:01:55.000 Mugs You're doing strange animal, I've got to follow, I'm a
00:02:18.000 speedy diss.
00:02:24.000 Thanks for watching!
00:02:28.000 Yeah, that's the guy who rolled the dice by having a terrorist in his studio.
00:02:32.000 Is Snake Eyes bad?
00:02:35.000 I think Snake Eyes are good.
00:02:36.000 It depends on the game.
00:02:37.000 I don't know.
00:02:37.000 I have no idea.
00:02:39.000 It's Thursday, the fan of the weekend.
00:02:40.000 Thank you so much for being here.
00:02:41.000 And like I was saying, in third chair today, we have Mahmoud Al Mahmoud, Director of Communications and Public Relations for ISIS.
00:02:47.000 Good to see you, Stephen.
00:02:48.000 Glad to have you back.
00:02:49.000 Good to see you here.
00:02:50.000 We hope that you see the softer side of ISIS.
00:02:52.000 Well, I will do my best.
00:02:54.000 Today I'm here to kill you with kindness.
00:02:56.000 I see what you did there, I see.
00:02:57.000 And also actually kill me, I believe.
00:02:59.000 Well, you know, eventually.
00:03:00.000 Eventually.
00:03:01.000 It's a long show.
00:03:02.000 He's just trying to deal with the nuance.
00:03:05.000 And then we have Larry the Cable Guy on the show today.
00:03:09.000 Because, you know, someone sent a bomb.
00:03:11.000 And they thought it was one of your flags.
00:03:13.000 It turned out to be a Get Her Done flag.
00:03:14.000 Did you see that?
00:03:15.000 No, I didn't.
00:03:16.000 That's the one I don't know.
00:03:17.000 We use Arabic.
00:03:19.000 You guys say that all the time.
00:03:20.000 I don't know when to believe you anymore.
00:03:21.000 Well, that could be what ISIS is.
00:03:22.000 No, no, we take credit for it.
00:03:23.000 We're like a frat boy who farts.
00:03:27.000 We take credit immediately.
00:03:29.000 G. Morgan Jr.
00:03:29.000 didn't bring any wine today, I guess.
00:03:30.000 I'm protesting.
00:03:31.000 Well, that's terrible.
00:03:32.000 I don't know what, but... He's protesting all things.
00:03:33.000 And Quarter Black, of course, producing for us.
00:03:35.000 Follow me on Black Twitter.
00:03:37.000 There's no Black Twitter.
00:03:37.000 It's called Worldstar.
00:03:39.000 The question of the day... Okay, who got it worse?
00:03:43.000 Tucker Carlson or Jim Acosta?
00:03:45.000 Right.
00:03:45.000 And do you think either of them had it coming?
00:03:47.000 Because I think the answer might tell us who you are.
00:03:49.000 Are you really offended by the Jim Acosta scenario?
00:03:51.000 Is there an equivalent?
00:03:52.000 I've been seeing this on Twitter.
00:03:53.000 People are like, well, you know, you think it's okay to revoke Jim Acosta's press badge, so then it's okay to do the kill the beast there at Tucker Carlson's house.
00:04:01.000 Ramming down his oak door.
00:04:03.000 I think it's remarkable.
00:04:05.000 Listen, of course, right off the bat, I want to address the Thousand Oaks shooting.
00:04:08.000 At the time of this taping, we don't know exactly what's happened.
00:04:11.000 I lived in Moorpark for a while out there in Simian Valley, close to Thousand Oaks.
00:04:14.000 Beautiful, great people.
00:04:16.000 My heart goes out to them.
00:04:17.000 Not enough info to really talk about it.
00:04:19.000 And I don't really want to get into the gun control issue right now.
00:04:21.000 You know, I used to say it's a winning issue for the right.
00:04:24.000 I actually recant.
00:04:25.000 It's won.
00:04:26.000 Done.
00:04:27.000 They make no headway on gun control when these issues happen, so it's like feeding a tumor.
00:04:32.000 Just let it die.
00:04:33.000 Just don't look.
00:04:34.000 What is ISIS opinion on American gun control?
00:04:37.000 You know, we are going to just sit with this one out.
00:04:41.000 Guns, you know, if you guys have guns, you want to shoot each other with guns.
00:04:41.000 Good.
00:04:45.000 I don't see why we're going to stop it.
00:04:46.000 Okay.
00:04:47.000 My sis, she's not a nice person.
00:04:50.000 I don't know about the killing with kindness.
00:04:51.000 Leading us before that.
00:04:51.000 All right.
00:04:53.000 You good, Gerald?
00:04:53.000 Yeah.
00:04:54.000 You're doing this with your lips?
00:04:54.000 What is this?
00:04:55.000 I had a thing.
00:04:56.000 It's almost like a baseball.
00:04:56.000 Oh, okay.
00:04:58.000 Leading the news, I guess, today.
00:05:00.000 Well, the least surprising news of the week.
00:05:02.000 Jim Acosta finally has his White House press credentials pulled.
00:05:06.000 The decision came after the now, of course, notorious standoff between him and President Donald Trump during press conference Wednesday when he wouldn't give the microphone back to an intern.
00:05:15.000 Now, of course, listen, on the right, or most on the right, see this as a given, while those on the left see this as Donald Trump driving his final nail into the coffin of modern journalism.
00:05:26.000 Well, I just heard the news today.
00:05:31.000 It seems my life is gonna change
00:05:38.000 We do not have the rights to that song by the way But no one does, and it's like... No one really cares anymore.
00:05:50.000 Look, the most dangerous place to be is between Jim Acosta and a news camera, right?
00:05:54.000 That's what he's doing reporting.
00:05:56.000 But at the same time, when Obama... I'm sorry, when Trump said to him like a despicable person... Whoa!
00:06:00.000 Did you just... I just channeled Obama, sorry.
00:06:02.000 Are you still quit caffeine?
00:06:03.000 Uh-oh.
00:06:03.000 Alright, well I'm gonna give you one more chance to wake up here, Gene Morgan.
00:06:07.000 No, whenever... Everyone in the studio, come on, let's confuse an Obama.
00:06:10.000 Yeah, let's do the West Side Story.
00:06:11.000 We're not doing West Side Story.
00:06:12.000 I refuse to do West Side Story!
00:06:13.000 Pick it up!
00:06:13.000 Alright.
00:06:14.000 So Trump said that he was a despicable person, right?
00:06:18.000 But he said he was a despicable person, and I was like, you kind of crossed the line there.
00:06:22.000 Yeah, look, reporters are supposed to be jerks sometimes.
00:06:24.000 You don't get mad at them for that.
00:06:26.000 You can pull their credentials, and he can go back there.
00:06:29.000 He just doesn't have a hard pass.
00:06:30.000 They have to reissue it now.
00:06:31.000 So no big deal, right?
00:06:32.000 I thought it was perfect.
00:06:34.000 And I'm not necessarily a huge Donald Trump, but I love where he goes, why did you call the caravan an invasion?
00:06:37.000 Well, that's what I think.
00:06:39.000 That's how I see it.
00:06:39.000 That's how I see it.
00:06:40.000 I see it as an invasion.
00:06:41.000 He goes, well, you think it was inflammatory?
00:06:42.000 No, no, no.
00:06:43.000 That's called a difference of opinion, okay?
00:06:46.000 He backed it up zero.
00:06:48.000 I mean, backed off zero.
00:06:49.000 He said, now you've got it to me!
00:06:51.000 Hey, don't blame me!
00:06:52.000 Is it that bug that you picked up from the toilet seat Joe Rogan was talking about?
00:06:55.000 Is it idiocracy?
00:06:56.000 I don't know.
00:06:56.000 I don't know.
00:06:57.000 You still doing well there, Mahmoud?
00:06:58.000 You seem confused.
00:06:59.000 You know, I just want to say that none of this stuff with the drama in the press room would happen if Gary Johnson won.
00:07:08.000 That's true.
00:07:09.000 See, this is what you guys do.
00:07:10.000 You don't have free press.
00:07:11.000 You don't have any of these issues, right?
00:07:13.000 People just get shot.
00:07:15.000 Well, yeah, sadly.
00:07:16.000 But I'm just saying, you know, Johnson president, we're not talking about this.
00:07:21.000 It's going to be a nice, happy place.
00:07:22.000 Mostly because he's a latent homosexual.
00:07:24.000 And that's not to say he couldn't hold office.
00:07:27.000 We'll talk about this later.
00:07:28.000 We're doing a Vox rebuttal because ours was so fun this week where they say more women need to be nominated.
00:07:34.000 But Gary Johnson always seemed very gay to me.
00:07:36.000 I don't know why.
00:07:36.000 You can comment, let me know what you think.
00:07:38.000 I don't know about that, but it is about time that America elects a president who doesn't know where Aleppo is.
00:07:44.000 It's freaking from the heart.
00:07:47.000 All right, in more serious news.
00:07:48.000 That would be good cover for you.
00:07:49.000 That is very selfish.
00:07:52.000 It's almost as though you have ulterior motives.
00:07:54.000 More serious news, of course, this week.
00:07:56.000 Another man was injured by yet another exploding bottle of Corona.
00:08:01.000 This has been going on for a while.
00:08:02.000 This is actually the third man.
00:08:03.000 I have the quote, third man in recent months to say a Corona bottle exploded while he was handling it, causing a gruesome injury.
00:08:10.000 The quote is, he said, it's like they're selling glass hand grenades.
00:08:13.000 Now, there's been no official explanation to you, Screw you!
00:08:17.000 It wasn't me!
00:08:18.000 Stop being so contentious!
00:08:18.000 There hasn't been an official explanation from Corona as of yet, but we should note
00:08:22.000 that authorities actually have been suspecting foul play as I always have.
00:08:29.000 Yeah, see? Oh.
00:08:40.000 I was wrong about you, alcohol.
00:08:44.000 You've found a kindred spirit, have you?
00:08:46.000 I'm more of a Bud Light Lime guy, said the douche.
00:08:49.000 Go ahead.
00:08:50.000 I kind of laugh a little bit at this, and I'm sorry, this may be like the dark side of humor for me.
00:08:54.000 I kind of think if we just step back, let the Corona thing take its course, all the Corona drinkers will be gone.
00:08:59.000 We won't have to worry about it a little bit.
00:09:01.000 If you drink Corona, this might be just... It's sort of like vaping batteries.
00:09:06.000 When it explodes.
00:09:06.000 Yeah, exactly.
00:09:07.000 We just step back and go, well... Let nature take its course here.
00:09:11.000 I really would have thought, you know, you wouldn't think the explosion, you'd think it's Mexican tap water would be the high risk factor there.
00:09:17.000 Well, that's a good point, actually.
00:09:20.000 Montezuma's revenge, I think, is something that's a real thing.
00:09:22.000 For sure.
00:09:23.000 I looked like you were about to say something there, but I never know because, you know, you're terrorist-y.
00:09:28.000 I was just up to something in my mind.
00:09:32.000 All right, turning to big tech, the YouTube gamer Shirako, am I saying that right?
00:09:38.000 Shirako?
00:09:39.000 Why would you ask him?
00:09:40.000 By the way, I want this man to be a guest on the show, so Shirako, Shirako, however it's pronounced, please, we would welcome you.
00:09:46.000 He had his channel deleted for sharing a clip in which he fed a suffragette feminist to an alligator in the latest Red Dead Redemption 2 game.
00:09:55.000 You know, I can't really do it justice.
00:09:56.000 Let's just watch the clip.
00:09:58.000 This is what got him banned here on YouTube.
00:10:00.000 Don't worry, it's coming, guys.
00:10:02.000 Alright.
00:10:02.000 Don't worry, it's coming guys.
00:10:17.000 Jeez.
00:10:24.000 Get the lasso.
00:10:27.000 There you go.
00:10:28.000 I've never played this game, but when I was watching this as a non-gamer... I can't stop playing this game.
00:10:35.000 Oh, no, no, it gets it gets it gets better it gets way worse
00:10:39.000 That alligator is in ketosis, I'm sure Ha ha ha ha!
00:11:03.000 High protein diet.
00:11:04.000 I had not played this game.
00:11:05.000 And I love this game so much.
00:11:07.000 Then his YouTube channel was reinstated, and I swear to you, he actually came back in the very first video, or one of the first videos, it's called Deporting a Mexican, and he played a game, now there's like a Red Dead Redemption, so this guy just doesn't care.
00:11:19.000 And it's a good idea, there's actually a strong debate going on in the gaming community, because if this is a violation of guidelines on YouTube, then everything is a violation of guidelines on YouTube.
00:11:27.000 Do you have any idea how many people you kill in these games and most of them are men?
00:11:30.000 That's all you do.
00:11:31.000 You blow people's brains out.
00:11:33.000 If you are starting to police what people do in video games, we are screwed.
00:11:36.000 Because every video game out there that's popular has stuff like that in it.
00:11:39.000 Or at least the ability to do stuff like that.
00:11:40.000 They said it promotes violence.
00:11:42.000 I'm like, what game that's fun doesn't?
00:11:45.000 I don't know, racing games?
00:11:46.000 It's a creative outlet.
00:11:47.000 No, that's violence.
00:11:47.000 Racing games?
00:11:48.000 You ram into people.
00:11:49.000 Tetris?
00:11:49.000 Little Puyo Pop?
00:11:51.000 Little Kudu Kudu Kudurin with the helicopter going through the maze?
00:11:51.000 I don't know.
00:11:54.000 Oh good lord.
00:11:55.000 No?
00:11:55.000 No, that's true.
00:11:56.000 That's not very violent.
00:11:59.000 He's like, in our countries that we represent, that's actually normal.
00:12:02.000 Let him say what he's saying, Mr. Obama!
00:12:04.000 What were you about to say there?
00:12:05.000 Well, I was going to express the plight of the turtles from the Mario Brothers.
00:12:10.000 You know, you stomp on the turtles like a bunch of savages.
00:12:13.000 We would never play such a game.
00:12:14.000 No.
00:12:15.000 Stomp on those turtles.
00:12:15.000 No.
00:12:16.000 What do you do with the turtles there in Syria?
00:12:18.000 We don't have turtles.
00:12:19.000 I've never seen a turtle there.
00:12:21.000 Really?
00:12:21.000 Yeah.
00:12:22.000 I don't know if somebody ate them all, but...
00:12:25.000 So it'd be a novelty.
00:12:26.000 Next time we have you in the studio, we should show you the turtles.
00:12:29.000 I would love to see a turtle.
00:12:30.000 I would love to go to the San Diego Zoo, if that's down the street or something.
00:12:34.000 I don't know.
00:12:35.000 No, we're nowhere near it.
00:12:36.000 A little bit of bigger land mass in Syria.
00:12:37.000 You know, when you're a foreign country, you think everything's close.
00:12:40.000 A 20 minute drive.
00:12:42.000 No, it's like people with Canada, they have no idea that British Columbia is nowhere near Montreal.
00:12:46.000 Finally, in sadder news, Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg was actually hospitalized for fracturing some ribs in a fall.
00:12:54.000 According to the statement, Ginsburg, 85, experienced discomfort after she was going home Following the fall, I was admitted to George Washington University Thursday morning for observation and treatment.
00:13:04.000 And actually, an EMT on the scene is a Mug Club member and snuck us a video of the justice before bringing her to the hospital.
00:13:12.000 Help!
00:13:14.000 I've fallen!
00:13:15.000 And I can't protect Robey White!
00:13:21.000 It almost seems like that's distasteful.
00:13:24.000 Maybe a little.
00:13:26.000 Suddenly though, by the way, if Ruth Bader Ginsburg, the GOP Senate pickups seem like a little bit of a bigger win.
00:13:34.000 This is one thing we're talking about, Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
00:13:36.000 Have you seen the documentary on Netflix?
00:13:38.000 They've been trying so hard for so long to convince us that she's the sick, rapping grandma!
00:13:42.000 And I remember Matt Damon talking about, I want to see the actuary tables on John McCain.
00:13:45.000 Because there's a very strong chance that he dies and Sarah Palin is president.
00:13:48.000 With Ruth Bader Ginsburg or Bernie Sanders, it doesn't matter all of a sudden.
00:13:51.000 They're just holding out.
00:13:52.000 What is it?
00:13:53.000 Somebody said that it was like this ghoulish death watch, basically, for the Supreme Court.
00:13:57.000 I can't remember who.
00:13:58.000 It was Herman Cain.
00:13:58.000 Shapiro or somebody?
00:13:59.000 No, it was Herman Cain.
00:14:00.000 It's absolutely that.
00:14:01.000 It was Mr. 999.
00:14:03.000 That was a good plan.
00:14:04.000 It was a good plan.
00:14:05.000 It was a solid plan.
00:14:06.000 So I have a serious question for you.
00:14:07.000 I have a big problem with lifetime appointments for Supreme Court Justices for stuff just like this.
00:14:12.000 We get to basically sit and watch people wither away.
00:14:15.000 So they can't use it to profiteer off hover around commercials?
00:14:17.000 Well, that's also true.
00:14:19.000 And, you know, self-lubricating catheters, that as well.
00:14:22.000 But I do have a problem with lifetime appointments.
00:14:24.000 I mean, I don't think that Supreme Court Justices should be lifetime appointments.
00:14:27.000 I think they should have a term or something where if they get too old, we've got a situation where she's not able to really do the job.
00:14:34.000 She's not able to walk, apparently, and not fall.
00:14:36.000 She's asleep half the time.
00:14:37.000 Right?
00:14:37.000 Asleep half the time.
00:14:38.000 We shouldn't have this person up there just dying in front of everybody.
00:14:42.000 We should let them go off gracefully.
00:14:43.000 I don't know that I agree, but actually, we're receiving word right now that the notorious Ruth Bader Ginsburg's rib is actually not doing so well.
00:14:51.000 Yeah.
00:14:53.000 Stream down my face, where the arms were open, under the starlight.
00:15:02.000 Gerald seems surprised.
00:15:04.000 Yeah.
00:15:04.000 I should.
00:15:05.000 Almost as though he didn't read the show today at all.
00:15:08.000 Wait, there's a show?
00:15:11.000 The Terrorists!
00:15:12.000 The Terrorists!
00:15:13.000 He can't prepare.
00:15:14.000 How you doing there, Mahmood?
00:15:15.000 This is live, right?
00:15:18.000 Yeah, there are no second chances.
00:15:24.000 You're upset about lifetime appointments?
00:15:26.000 I want you to finish your point.
00:15:28.000 That's a serious point for me, though.
00:15:30.000 Moving on to the Vox Rebuttal.
00:15:32.000 Move the football right as I kick!
00:15:35.000 You obviously had some opinions on this, and I had you watch this before you came on the show.
00:15:39.000 Remember, I sent you this this morning.
00:15:41.000 I said, hey, we're going to be talking about this on air.
00:15:42.000 Yes, I watched this on my Kindle Fire.
00:15:45.000 Did you really?
00:15:46.000 I don't think you guys should do anything with fire in the names, okay?
00:15:49.000 Burning people alive, it just kind of brings up bad memories for us.
00:15:51.000 I don't think that's the brand.
00:15:53.000 That's an American attempt at a pun.
00:15:54.000 You shouldn't have it.
00:15:56.000 It's appropriation.
00:15:57.000 I can see your point.
00:15:58.000 I can see your point.
00:16:00.000 I don't see his point at all.
00:16:01.000 You don't have to concede any territory to him.
00:16:03.000 I'm going to use it.
00:16:04.000 The terrorist is being nicer to me than you.
00:16:06.000 He is.
00:16:07.000 He is.
00:16:07.000 I have no problem with it.
00:16:11.000 By the way, did you notice that one, the crazy superfan who really loved you there at U of M?
00:16:14.000 I did.
00:16:15.000 I did.
00:16:15.000 No, you didn't.
00:16:16.000 I did too.
00:16:17.000 I watched it.
00:16:17.000 I made it up.
00:16:18.000 No, I watched it.
00:16:18.000 There is not one.
00:16:19.000 No, she was dressed as Minnie Mouse.
00:16:22.000 She was a fan.
00:16:22.000 I wish that you knew what we were talking about half the time.
00:16:25.000 And the wake of the election... I'm like the Ruth Bader Ginsburg of this show!
00:16:28.000 Box!
00:16:29.000 No, because, you know, if she falls asleep, you can, like, snicker and make jokes about her, but you're still awake, so we can't make fun of you until you leave.
00:16:36.000 No, I love you.
00:16:36.000 I know, I'm kidding.
00:16:37.000 And you didn't wear the same colored shirt as I wore today.
00:16:39.000 Gosh, we were on a streak in like three days in a row, randomly.
00:16:42.000 We should coordinate.
00:16:43.000 Well, now he stole Quarter Black's thunder.
00:16:46.000 Oh, I did?
00:16:46.000 No, come on, that's not even the same.
00:16:48.000 I'm partially colorblind, that's not the same color.
00:16:50.000 I think Garrett is a Quarter Black and then the other three quarters is Dickie Greenleaf with the short-sleeved button shirt.
00:16:57.000 I'll own it.
00:16:57.000 Whatever the mixture is, it's very white.
00:16:59.000 What did we end up with?
00:17:00.000 I mean, it's three quarters.
00:17:01.000 We talked about Jim Acosta, we talked about Tucker Carlson, but Let's kind of get into the realm here of identity politics in the wake of the blue wave, as it's been called, I guess, by the left.
00:17:11.000 Like we said, see yesterday's analysis.
00:17:12.000 Win some, lose some.
00:17:13.000 That's really what the election was.
00:17:14.000 But in the wake of these elections, people are trying to read into something, I think, that isn't there exactly, and then push agendas that don't make sense.
00:17:21.000 So laying the groundwork there.
00:17:23.000 Enter Vox's latest video telling us all that we need to vote in more women because The 2018 midterms were huge for women candidates.
00:17:38.000 A total of 273 women were on the ballot in the 2018 midterms, representing both parties.
00:17:44.000 Now compare that to the past five elections.
00:17:47.000 That's a big jump in women candidates vying for office.
00:17:50.000 So women must be pretty well represented in the U.S.
00:17:53.000 government now, right?
00:17:55.000 Not exactly.
00:17:55.000 Okay, so here comes the doom and gloop.
00:17:57.000 First off, before we get to rebutting this, is there not one straight male capable of narration in all of the Vox studios?
00:18:05.000 Nope.
00:18:06.000 Not one?
00:18:07.000 Not one?
00:18:07.000 What's the hiring process like there?
00:18:10.000 Are you gay?
00:18:11.000 Check yes or yes.
00:18:14.000 Do you sound effeminate?
00:18:15.000 Deal.
00:18:16.000 Right.
00:18:16.000 You have a list.
00:18:17.000 An add-on is Latino.
00:18:19.000 Yeah, exactly.
00:18:19.000 It's like the opposite of when you purchase a gun, which by the way, I'm not one who sees racism under every rock, but when you go to purchase a firearm, it has Caucasian, black, and then it has Latino, and then afterwards it has non-Latino.
00:18:31.000 You have to check the box.
00:18:32.000 Specify.
00:18:33.000 Non-Latino.
00:18:34.000 Specifically singles out.
00:18:35.000 It doesn't say non-black, non-Asian.
00:18:36.000 How does that work?
00:18:36.000 Non-Latino.
00:18:37.000 I assume because of illegality of citizenship.
00:18:40.000 The share of women in the House and Senate has increased over time, but it's still well below the share of women in the U.S.
00:18:43.000 population.
00:18:43.000 The share of women in the House and Senate has increased over time, but it's still
00:19:02.000 well below the share of women in the US population.
00:19:06.000 And if you dig deeper, Congress looks even less representative.
00:19:10.000 of color make up 18% of the U.S. population.
00:19:12.000 population.
00:19:14.000 But before the 2018 midterms, they accounted for just 7% of Congress.
00:19:20.000 It's so boring.
00:19:21.000 So?
00:19:22.000 By the way, your mic is on while the clips are going, just so you know.
00:19:27.000 You're not muted.
00:19:28.000 Because I'm sure everyone would love to hear your commentary on what Vox is doing.
00:19:31.000 Or about women in y'all's culture, typically, right?
00:19:33.000 That's always going on.
00:19:34.000 I'm sorry, I was going to fall asleep.
00:19:39.000 Like Ruth Bader Ginsburg, and then crack a couple, you wake up like, what happened to my ribs?
00:19:44.000 They elect women here?
00:19:46.000 Could you imagine a dinner with Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Bernie Sanders?
00:19:51.000 It would just be the words, what, for 20 minutes.
00:19:55.000 I could get a transcript.
00:19:55.000 What?
00:19:59.000 You filthy bitch!
00:20:03.000 That's what Bernie Sanders, that's what he says.
00:20:05.000 That's what he calls her, his pet.
00:20:06.000 It's my pet name!
00:20:08.000 It's a term of endearment.
00:20:09.000 I call her my filthy bitch!
00:20:12.000 It's a term of endearment, really.
00:20:15.000 She doesn't like it much.
00:20:17.000 So, I don't understand the Vox video here.
00:20:20.000 Women make up 50% of the population, only 9%.
00:20:22.000 They only make up, what, 9% of construction workers?
00:20:25.000 Yeah.
00:20:25.000 Who cares?
00:20:26.000 Well, and they voted for these people, right?
00:20:29.000 The women vote here.
00:20:31.000 They vote more.
00:20:32.000 They can vote.
00:20:33.000 This is not like some advanced country where that is not the case.
00:20:38.000 They voted, this is who they voted for.
00:20:40.000 We did, because not enough suffragettes were fed to crocodiles.
00:20:43.000 That's true.
00:20:43.000 So we got to the point now where now everyone can vote.
00:20:46.000 One at a time, okay, one at a time.
00:20:47.000 So 50, they're like 50% of the population, they only make up this percentage.
00:20:50.000 Yeah, okay, they make up 9% of construction, but they make up 75% of education and health services, right?
00:20:54.000 This is something, people go into different fields.
00:20:57.000 Gender, I think we have an overlay here from the Bureau of Labor Statistics.
00:21:00.000 Since when does every job have to represent a mirror image of the census?
00:21:05.000 Of the United States demographics.
00:21:06.000 You know what else, by the way, doesn't mirror the full 18% they talk about the women of color?
00:21:09.000 Like 18% women of color?
00:21:12.000 Okay.
00:21:13.000 Only 30% of black women have high school degrees.
00:21:17.000 14% have college degrees.
00:21:19.000 So it would stand to reason that they don't all make it to the highest levels of government.
00:21:23.000 Though 68.5% do make it to the highest levels of the WNBA.
00:21:27.000 Well look, if Fox is gonna be calling people out, why don't they have a little bit more diversity on their staff instead of gay, lispy, Latino males?
00:21:36.000 That is a very good point.
00:21:37.000 That's like 97% of their workforce.
00:21:39.000 Except I can't confirm that this guy was Latino.
00:21:41.000 Oh.
00:21:41.000 I can just pretty much confirm that he's gay.
00:21:43.000 I was including Latino.
00:21:44.000 It's not like gaydar.
00:21:46.000 Well, I guess sonar would be, yeah.
00:21:48.000 Yeah, sonar is... It's pretty close.
00:21:49.000 Yeah, but... I'd be really surprised... But gaydar is usually, people usually, when they're looking and they're saying gaydar, so that's not... Yeah, well, we're hearing, so that's... Yeah, that's like... You're looking... That's like queer flicks.
00:21:58.000 Gay vibes are coming back to you.
00:21:59.000 Right.
00:22:00.000 You're looking, gay vibes are coming back.
00:22:01.000 That's why it's gaydar.
00:22:02.000 I mean, what's the over-under on this connection?
00:22:03.000 I don't understand.
00:22:03.000 Again, they're just picking something to complain about and saying, oh, well, they represent this number of the population, so they should represent this percentage of the electorate.
00:22:10.000 Why?
00:22:12.000 I don't, why?
00:22:13.000 And by the way, it changes every single year from straight male to gay, not at Vox, but from straight male to gay male, from white to black, from male to female.
00:22:21.000 I mean, you could follow a district, you could follow over the last 30 years, and you would find something different.
00:22:26.000 And you certainly would find some diversity of thought, unless it's in California or in New York, but that's really what we should be talking about here.
00:22:32.000 But again, Vox just, you need to vote for more women because, why?
00:22:36.000 They make up 50% of the population, okay?
00:22:40.000 Need I say more?
00:22:41.000 Yes you do!
00:22:42.000 Yes, we're expecting more.
00:22:43.000 I thought the argument was over.
00:22:44.000 Well, no, they've actually done studies in the most egalitarian countries in the world.
00:22:47.000 These gender gaps actually spread out further.
00:22:50.000 So in places where they have the most opportunity, the most equality, women tend to segregate themselves in careers and fields and industries more so than we see now.
00:22:58.000 So it's absolutely scientifically disproven.
00:23:00.000 Wait, what was that again?
00:23:02.000 So if you say 75% of females are in this workforce, and there's only 10% over here as engineers, in the most equal societies in the world, that gap is actually larger.
00:23:12.000 It doesn't get narrow, which is what you would expect, because they would have more opportunities, they're treated more equally, and it doesn't narrow at all.
00:23:18.000 It actually gets larger, because people self-select out of these things most of the time.
00:23:21.000 We have to move on from women and black women to the more important, more pressing issue.
00:23:27.000 LGBT women make up about 2.5% of the U.S.
00:23:30.000 population.
00:23:31.000 Don't buy it!
00:23:31.000 There are only two openly LGBT women in Congress.
00:23:34.000 Greater than sign.
00:23:35.000 That's less than 1%.
00:23:36.000 Screwed it up.
00:23:37.000 By the way, I just love how they toss in the T. Most of the LGBT, let's be honest, it's like 90% G.
00:23:45.000 And then so we're saying 2.5% no first off they now they've tried to it's they're trying to say
00:23:49.000 it's 5% of the population is gay 5 point something no it's it's not they've just realized that if
00:23:52.000 they keep bumping up the percentage that people will become more embracing of the policies and
00:23:57.000 cultural ramifications but only to maybe because it's weird.
00:24:01.000 I challenge anybody to take a melatonin and try to make it through this video it is literally so
00:24:08.000 boring.
00:24:09.000 The guy's voice is pretty monotone, too.
00:24:11.000 That's why I'm looking for everyone here to help snap it up.
00:24:14.000 I've got to deliver the information.
00:24:15.000 I need you guys.
00:24:16.000 I need to play straight, man.
00:24:17.000 Probably because it's weird.
00:24:19.000 We had the first transgender mayor of a Texas town on the show.
00:24:22.000 Oh, yeah.
00:24:22.000 And you know what?
00:24:22.000 The whole time, I was going to say, it was very respectful.
00:24:24.000 And we sat there, and we talked about sort of, we went back, I think, to Judith Butler, to Siphon de Beauvoir.
00:24:29.000 We talked about gender theory.
00:24:30.000 But the whole time, I'm just going in my head, this is weird.
00:24:32.000 This is weird.
00:24:33.000 This is weird.
00:24:35.000 That's what I did when I watched it.
00:24:36.000 It was very, very bizarre.
00:24:38.000 And most people probably go, now, doesn't mean that you're less than, doesn't mean that I think you should be the victim of a hate crime, but it means that if somebody is really weird, a good example, Leslie in Austin.
00:24:48.000 People remember him, he used to wear short shorts, you'd see his buttcheeks.
00:24:51.000 He passed away, it was really sad.
00:24:52.000 He was kind of like an Austin icon, right?
00:24:54.000 He was, I don't know if he was homeless, there was a legend kind of surrounding him.
00:24:57.000 The point is, he was weird.
00:24:58.000 But people liked him, they embraced him, probably wouldn't want him in the United States Senate.
00:25:03.000 That's why you've only got two.
00:25:03.000 You wouldn't have appreciated the dress codes.
00:25:05.000 I've not met Leslie.
00:25:07.000 You've not met Leslie?
00:25:08.000 Every town has a Leslie.
00:25:10.000 Okay.
00:25:12.000 This is it.
00:25:13.000 This is interesting country.
00:25:15.000 By the way, hey, if you're not a Mug Club member, you can watch the show every single night.
00:25:17.000 Hit the notification bell if you're subscribed on YouTube, because subscriptions don't show up in your subscription box anymore.
00:25:23.000 And we do recommend, of course, that you join Mug Club, unless you want the whole show to go away.
00:25:26.000 And we have an upcoming Change My Mind.
00:25:28.000 We might be back at TCU on Monday, or we might be back there Tuesday and broadcast live.
00:25:33.000 Who knows, TCU?
00:25:34.000 Who knows?
00:25:35.000 You thought you'd run us out in a rail, but that's coming soon.
00:25:37.000 It is on, baby.
00:25:38.000 I will say that someone might have a case of the Monday.
00:25:43.000 Alright, next clip.
00:25:45.000 Take a look at this chart, showing what 28 congressional candidates spent time talking about.
00:25:50.000 Women were much more likely than men to discuss issues like education, climate change, and minimum wage.
00:25:58.000 And they're 200% more likely to be blindsided by a third world war because national security was nowhere on that list!
00:26:03.000 It was nowhere to be found.
00:26:05.000 First off, the sleight of hand, he said, like, they're more likely to talk about these issues, which... Right.
00:26:09.000 Okay, first off, you're really trying to straddle the fence here, Vox.
00:26:13.000 Like, they're more likely to have mentioned these issues at one point according to the Vox chart.
00:26:18.000 Well, who gives a rat's ass?
00:26:19.000 But let's go with, okay, these are the issues that matter most to women.
00:26:24.000 Climate change, education, minimum wage.
00:26:28.000 You think this is going to convince everyone who's watching?
00:26:30.000 You think a chart saying that women tend to care, not about national security, not about the primary purpose of government, keeping its citizens safe, that the fact that they couldn't care less, that that's going to, I guess, appeal to more voters?
00:26:42.000 I am dumb.
00:26:43.000 I shouldn't be dumb.
00:26:44.000 I shouldn't say I'm surprised you're dumbfounded.
00:26:45.000 I'm just disappointed.
00:26:46.000 Look, I understand that politicians are going to pander to their audience and they're going to talk about the things that are important to them, but if I see climate change and there's 50-some-odd percent of women talking about it and not saying it's a hoax, I'm not voting for that person, or at least challenging it as being the 95 or 98 percent of all scientists agree kind of thing.
00:27:02.000 So if I see that on somebody's talking points, I'm like, I don't know if you know what you're talking about.
00:27:06.000 I'm just trying to drum up votes.
00:27:07.000 But that's actually code for you're going to hit her, which I don't support.
00:27:11.000 We tried to convince people with pie charts and stuff like that initially, at the beginning.
00:27:17.000 Not that effective.
00:27:18.000 Not that effective.
00:27:19.000 That you're a religion of peace?
00:27:21.000 Well, we started.
00:27:23.000 We started.
00:27:24.000 Hey, but you know who told you that?
00:27:28.000 President Ross Perot.
00:27:30.000 Oh!
00:27:31.000 So he won in y'all's country, huh?
00:27:33.000 Today is just a third-party extravaganza.
00:27:37.000 Kerry Johnson and Ross Perot.
00:27:39.000 He didn't have an answer.
00:27:40.000 He's very niche with his American political interests.
00:27:42.000 Alright, let's go to the next clip.
00:27:45.000 There's even evidence that women make better lawmakers.
00:27:48.000 One study found that female lawmakers bring in 9% more federal spending for their constituents than their male counterparts.
00:27:55.000 And that's on top of the fact that women lawmakers sponsor more bills than male legislators.
00:28:00.000 So in case you're confused, yeah, Vox is saying that women make better lawmakers exclusively because they increase federal spending and bureaucracy and red tape.
00:28:10.000 Is that bad?
00:28:11.000 Also, by the way, snakes make better pets because little known fact, they're more likely to bite.
00:28:15.000 You think this is a selling point?
00:28:17.000 And potentially kill you with venom.
00:28:19.000 The Brazilian wandering spider is great to keep in your tray because it causes priapism.
00:28:24.000 You mean a deathly boner?
00:28:26.000 Boner spider, that's right.
00:28:27.000 Yeah, but when you say it that way, you say it like it's a bad thing.
00:28:31.000 The perfect example of Vox right here just assuming that everyone consuming any and all media is a far leftist.
00:28:37.000 And this is why I just think there's this divide.
00:28:39.000 It's not even because of people obviously trying to break down Tucker Carlson's door or Antifa dragging people out of cars and beating them up.
00:28:45.000 It's because of an out-of-touchedness, a blind spot that is growing so large.
00:28:50.000 I think they sat around and said, yeah, we really need to get people to vote for more women.
00:28:53.000 Yeah, let's tell them that they spend more and create more bills and they care about climate change and not the military.
00:29:01.000 How's that not sexist?
00:29:02.000 Women spend more?
00:29:04.000 Isn't that the thing with shopping?
00:29:06.000 Okay, women in government.
00:29:07.000 All right, listen, I'll hear you out.
00:29:09.000 I'll hear your case.
00:29:10.000 Maybe there's a case to be made here.
00:29:11.000 But then their reasoning is the opposite of that.
00:29:11.000 Fine.
00:29:16.000 Next clip.
00:29:17.000 This success might actually help explain why women are less likely to run for office than men in the first place.
00:29:24.000 Many women underestimate their qualifications and perceive gender bias among voters, which discourages them from running.
00:29:30.000 Because of these hurdles, only the most talented and ambitious women seek office.
00:29:38.000 Okay.
00:29:41.000 These women who were elected during the 2018 midterms will help inspire other women to run for office in the future.
00:29:48.000 And as more women join government, their representation will become more and more normalized.
00:29:53.000 And eventually, a video like this won't even be necessary.
00:29:57.000 It's not necessary.
00:29:58.000 Yeah.
00:29:59.000 It's not necessary now.
00:30:01.000 Hallelujah.
00:30:02.000 At all.
00:30:02.000 Yeah.
00:30:03.000 Well, you know, it's almost like your job is to make Vox fun, but instead you sort of just said, let's let Steven take this one.
00:30:09.000 I have the impossible task.
00:30:10.000 I'm trying.
00:30:11.000 I'm trying to educate you on Vox.
00:30:12.000 I'm just mad at you for making me watch Vox videos.
00:30:14.000 I know, but you forget about it every day.
00:30:16.000 Play another song, man.
00:30:18.000 Look, it's all I got.
00:30:19.000 It's all I got.
00:30:19.000 Well, look, I wish they would have been supportive of women candidates, I don't know, maybe when Sarah Palin was running as the first vice presidential candidate.
00:30:26.000 And absolutely zero.
00:30:28.000 No, but she was a whore.
00:30:31.000 That's what I heard.
00:30:32.000 That's what everybody said, right?
00:30:33.000 Allegedly.
00:30:34.000 Now, I'll give you this.
00:30:35.000 Sarah Palin's a little quirky, for sure.
00:30:36.000 No, hold on a second.
00:30:37.000 Please know that was satire.
00:30:39.000 Gerald took what I said.
00:30:40.000 He's like, I'll give it to you.
00:30:41.000 No, no, don't give it to me.
00:30:42.000 I don't want you to give it to me.
00:30:44.000 That was satire.
00:30:45.000 I do not think Sarah Palin... I've met the woman.
00:30:47.000 I've spent time with her husband.
00:30:48.000 She's not a whore.
00:30:49.000 Good Lord!
00:30:50.000 Janice Rossi is a whore.
00:30:52.000 You will hang people at the front without even realizing it.
00:30:56.000 It'll be sarcasm and he will quote you and like hand this quote to your enemies.
00:31:00.000 Steven said she's a whore, fine.
00:31:02.000 I don't know her that way.
00:31:03.000 Go ahead and make your point completely irrespective of mine.
00:31:08.000 Sarah Palin's a whore, got it.
00:31:10.000 She's not a whore obviously, but I wish that the support would have been there.
00:31:13.000 I mean the only thing that people could do when she was running for president was make fun of her.
00:31:17.000 I thought that we would have the kind of, and I don't mean this in a bad way, but I thought if there was going to be a woman card, something that got women to go out and vote in a way that they hadn't for Republicans in a long time, it would have been the first vice presidential candidate that was a woman, that was a female.
00:31:29.000 And it wasn't.
00:31:30.000 The exact opposite thing happened.
00:31:32.000 Yeah, you know why?
00:31:33.000 Because she wasn't super qualified and because John McCain wasn't a great candidate.
00:31:38.000 Republican women actually care about qualifications and actually care if you represent their values.
00:31:42.000 Now, that being said, I think Sarah Palin would have made a better vice president than Joe Biden, namely because she doesn't, you know, molest biker children.
00:31:49.000 But on the other side, Cortez, she's not qualified.
00:31:52.000 No, that's the point.
00:31:53.000 I know that they're supporting her.
00:31:54.000 Yes, but that's the point.
00:31:56.000 It's the same problem you have with any conservative, with any Republican.
00:32:00.000 It's like herding cats.
00:32:01.000 I think it was actually Thomas Sowell who said that.
00:32:03.000 Because they're independent thinkers.
00:32:04.000 They don't just support the person, the ticket, no matter what.
00:32:07.000 Okay, Republican women didn't say, hold on!
00:32:10.000 Vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina buddies forever!
00:32:13.000 It's like a BFF locket!
00:32:14.000 That would be weird.
00:32:15.000 But that's what they do with Cortez, all the women.
00:32:17.000 It doesn't matter that she's a crazy, bug-eyed socialist.
00:32:21.000 They don't care.
00:32:22.000 Out of the examples even that they use in there, I think they have Senator Marshall Blackburn, staunch conservative, I think led the investigation into Planned Parenthood.
00:32:30.000 Remember the Salem Baby Parts, those videos?
00:32:32.000 And then another one of those examples is that Omar lady, who is an extreme leftist Muslim, which might seem almost to be an oxymoron, loves abortion, hates Israel, and is opposed to cutting insurance payments of convicted terrorists.
00:32:45.000 Is she popular over there, Omar?
00:32:46.000 Yeah, I have the bumper sticker on that camel.
00:32:49.000 Right next to Gary Johnson and Ross Perot.
00:32:51.000 You know it.
00:32:51.000 That camel's full of stickers, huh?
00:32:54.000 The camel's not very happy about it, I'll be honest with you.
00:32:57.000 Especially because he used a nail.
00:32:59.000 They don't have stick technology over there in Syria.
00:33:03.000 I don't think so.
00:33:03.000 We're working it out.
00:33:04.000 Are you working it out?
00:33:06.000 It really is remarkable to me the identity politics that they play with women.
00:33:10.000 They assume that everyone is going to care just because someone is a woman and running on their ticket.
00:33:14.000 And if you don't, you should care now.
00:33:16.000 Why?
00:33:18.000 Because.
00:33:18.000 Vagina.
00:33:20.000 You've convinced me.
00:33:21.000 It's like they don't even go out and create content that's designed to convince anybody because it assumes everybody agrees with them.
00:33:27.000 You can be a woman and be opposed to abortion.
00:33:31.000 Or at least, you know what, you can be a woman and be opposed to abortion at 26 weeks, like in Colorado.
00:33:35.000 You can be a woman, by the way, you can have tits and not want to pay a 52% income tax.
00:33:41.000 How about that?
00:33:42.000 Right?
00:33:42.000 You can have ovaries, or you can have a uterus.
00:33:45.000 And you know what?
00:33:47.000 Actually want a strong national defense.
00:33:49.000 You can be slightly more feminine.
00:33:50.000 You can have wider birthing hips and not want 4,000 people coming from the Honduras and the Caribbean, invading your country, not wanting them showing up, knocking on the door and getting right in.
00:34:01.000 You can be a woman and actually think all of these things.
00:34:04.000 You can hold all of these values dear.
00:34:06.000 But the left wants to, no, no, hold on a second.
00:34:08.000 If you have oversized mammaries, I think men actually have mammaries.
00:34:12.000 Apparently, apparently Steven Seagal's lactated.
00:34:15.000 I read a story about how men apparently can lactate.
00:34:18.000 Are the mammaries larger on women?
00:34:20.000 Is that what makes them breasts?
00:34:21.000 I don't know.
00:34:22.000 I'm not entirely sure of the biology.
00:34:23.000 The point is breasts.
00:34:24.000 The point is you can have breasts, a vagina, and a uterus, and have your own point of view, except in the world according to Vox.
00:34:32.000 But this is the kind of stuff that keeps them up at night, and we have more important things
00:34:36.000 to deal with.
00:34:50.000 I feel uncomfortable with you here.
00:34:52.000 He's gone to see 72 virgin daiquiris.
00:34:57.000 That sucks.
00:34:57.000 He's gone to see 72 limes.
00:34:59.000 I think really 72 just means countless in your culture, doesn't it?
00:35:03.000 Oh yeah, I forgot.
00:35:06.000 Right, listen, we have to get going.
00:35:07.000 We have Larry the Cable Guy coming up after this and Mahmood El Mahmood, everybody.
00:35:10.000 I don't know.
00:35:11.000 I just want to, you know, laugh about things every night. But
00:35:49.000 God bless America.
00:35:51.000 Bill Cosby says that being declared a sexually violent predator is going to damage his reputation.
00:35:56.000 Not available for comment.
00:35:57.000 Where all the women that he raped... Ah, s**t!
00:36:00.000 Sh** Hello, this is Canada
00:36:04.000 Dim Sum time!
00:36:08.000 It doesn't stop here It's a one-way.
00:36:11.000 It doesn't stop.
00:36:12.000 It's spinning.
00:36:13.000 There we go.
00:36:21.000 Keep clinking.
00:36:22.000 You've got to be pulling.
00:36:23.000 You've got to be pulling.
00:36:24.000 Unrecorded message.
00:36:25.000 You've got to be pulling.
00:36:26.000 See that?
00:36:27.000 That means my shoulder's working now.
00:36:36.000 Look at this.
00:36:36.000 I'm getting old.
00:36:37.000 For those who don't know, for those who are not club members, of course, I fell asleep.
00:36:41.000 Woke up with blinding shoulder pain.
00:36:44.000 As one does.
00:36:45.000 And now I'm fine.
00:36:46.000 I still don't know exactly what happened.
00:36:48.000 All right, our next guest.
00:36:49.000 Very excited to have our next guest on.
00:36:51.000 Many of you know him, of course, as Larry the Cable Guy.
00:36:54.000 He was telling us off here.
00:36:55.000 Probably pretty sure you're, hopefully you're aware his last name is not actually The Cable Guy.
00:36:59.000 His real name is Dan Whitney.
00:37:01.000 You can follow him on the Twitter at GetRDoneLarry.
00:37:04.000 Dan, thanks, slash Larry.
00:37:05.000 I've not done this before.
00:37:06.000 Thank you for being on, sir.
00:37:08.000 Well, man, thanks for having me.
00:37:10.000 I hope you know I gave up a colonoscopy to do this.
00:37:13.000 Did you?
00:37:14.000 Yeah, I feel pretty good about it too.
00:37:16.000 Well, I don't know if we can say the same for the practicing physician, but who knows?
00:37:21.000 You might be into some weird stuff.
00:37:23.000 Now, is that dip in your mouth right now or what is this going on?
00:37:27.000 Well, I've been on a diet for a while and I'm a sugarholic, so I try not to eat sugar.
00:37:32.000 So yeah, I put a little Levi-Garrett in every now and then, so I don't have to eat sugar.
00:37:36.000 Okay, all right.
00:37:37.000 But you know what, and you know how that'll end up.
00:37:39.000 I'll probably end up eating sugar anyway, and then I won't have any teeth.
00:37:42.000 So there you go.
00:37:43.000 Right, there you go.
00:37:43.000 Then you just end up addicted to both sugar and nicotine.
00:37:46.000 And the next thing you know, you're going, we see you.
00:37:48.000 It's not that bad.
00:37:49.000 I didn't think you could see it was in there.
00:37:51.000 Yeah, I can see a little.
00:37:53.000 Yeah, I can.
00:37:54.000 Now we can see your pores.
00:37:57.000 I think now I'm just as acquainted with you as a physician.
00:38:00.000 No, our good friend Owen Benjamin actually, he used to dip and he talked about how then he just had to stop because he did a lot of dip.
00:38:07.000 I'm a cigar guy.
00:38:08.000 I'm not necessarily a dipper.
00:38:09.000 You know what?
00:38:10.000 Dude, I'm a cigar guy too.
00:38:12.000 I love cigars.
00:38:14.000 I love Alec Bradleys.
00:38:15.000 I love the anniversary Padron.
00:38:17.000 But I gotta tell you, I quit.
00:38:19.000 I went, I went dead stopped.
00:38:21.000 I just quit.
00:38:23.000 And I'm touring with Foxworthy and we're doing these things called backyard barbecues.
00:38:27.000 It was me and Foxworthy and Foghat and Eddie Money and a Marshall Tucker.
00:38:32.000 We had this big, this big thing for our satellite radio show.
00:38:37.000 And man, I was losing weight.
00:38:39.000 I was doing good.
00:38:39.000 And as soon as I walked backstage for the first one, The whole counter is donuts, candies, cakes, pies.
00:38:49.000 And I walked right out and I told my tour manager, I said, Beaman, go to the store right now and get me a bag of Levi Garrett.
00:38:56.000 I cannot eat this stuff.
00:38:57.000 I'm doing too good on my diet.
00:38:59.000 And he said, yeah, but you quit Mr. Whitney.
00:39:01.000 And I said, I know, but I'm just going to do it.
00:39:04.000 Two things I love about that story.
00:39:13.000 First, that Larry the Cable Guy is a diva.
00:39:15.000 And second, that for some reason your tour manager, when you tell the story, sounds like you as Larry the Cable Guy.
00:39:20.000 You give him that character.
00:39:23.000 I get confused myself sometimes.
00:39:26.000 Well, I think it might surprise a lot of...
00:39:29.000 I don't think it surprises a ton of people.
00:39:30.000 Listen, someone from the South leans kind of more center-right.
00:39:33.000 Let me ask you this.
00:39:35.000 As a character, Larry the Cable Guy, sometimes it's easier...
00:39:38.000 I know when we do characters here on the show, sometimes you feel invincible because you're like, well, I'm not necessarily saying that.
00:39:43.000 But I think it also surprised some people with some of your tweets recently talking about kind of comedy, the state we're in, the ability to make some cerebral points that maybe people... Yeah, go ahead.
00:39:54.000 Look, I'm not a... Look, you're not an idiot to play an idiot.
00:39:59.000 I mean, you gotta be pretty... Look at Steve Martin.
00:40:01.000 Steve Martin played an idiot great.
00:40:02.000 Steve Martin's not a dumb guy.
00:40:05.000 I'm not a dumb guy.
00:40:07.000 I love that style of humor.
00:40:09.000 You know, I grew up in a real small town in southeast Nebraska.
00:40:13.000 I'm a country kid.
00:40:15.000 I grew up around livestock.
00:40:16.000 I was a pig.
00:40:17.000 I raised hogs.
00:40:19.000 So it's not like I was living in an apartment in New York or L.A.
00:40:22.000 and I said, you know how I can make money?
00:40:24.000 I'll turn into a redneck.
00:40:26.000 I mean, that's not the case.
00:40:27.000 I grew up that way.
00:40:29.000 And I moved to Florida when I was 15 years old, and I started doing stand-up in my early 20s.
00:40:35.000 Well, when I moved to Florida, I naturally gravitated to all the Florida Cracker kids.
00:40:42.000 Right.
00:40:42.000 Because they grew up like I did.
00:40:44.000 They grew up in the lifestyle that I grew up in.
00:40:48.000 And so, when I started doing stand-up, It was regular standup.
00:40:53.000 I had, you know, in Steve Martin's book, Steve Martin in his book that he, I remember when he was talking about the process of standup and he says, it takes a good 10 years for you to really find out who you are and to be comfortable in what you're doing.
00:41:08.000 And that's what it took for me.
00:41:10.000 You know, I, uh, I started doing characters and, and I did all kinds of characters.
00:41:16.000 And then one night I did this cable installer and it was funny.
00:41:20.000 And I remember after I got done doing it at the comedy corner in West Palm Beach that night, David Spade and Rob Schneider were there and I got done doing the character and they both came up to me and said, man, that's hilarious.
00:41:35.000 That's what that could be a Saturday Night Live character.
00:41:38.000 You should keep working on that.
00:41:40.000 And of course, as a comic coming up, I'm like, man, how cool is that?
00:41:43.000 Yeah.
00:41:44.000 To make a long story short, I don't want to bore you with this whole thing.
00:41:47.000 No, I'm very interested.
00:41:48.000 I'm still waiting on my 10 years to get comfortable with myself, so we'll talk about that after.
00:41:52.000 Well, some people it happens quicker, but some people it does.
00:41:56.000 Most people.
00:41:57.000 So I started doing the character on a buddy of mine's radio station in Tampa, 95 YNF.
00:42:05.000 It was hilarious.
00:42:06.000 It was really popular.
00:42:08.000 Then I got syndicated into some other markets.
00:42:11.000 And Steve, when I tell you this as a fact, I never meant to ever do it on stage.
00:42:17.000 It was theater of the mind.
00:42:19.000 It was radio.
00:42:21.000 I was always a fan of the show All in the Family.
00:42:25.000 Sure.
00:42:25.000 All right.
00:42:26.000 RG was hilarious.
00:42:28.000 And the show was hilarious.
00:42:30.000 Well, I understand what you're experimenting.
00:42:32.000 And then sometimes something kind of becomes your calling card.
00:42:34.000 I mean, for example, I never expected to actually interview Wendy Davis as a
00:42:38.000 tranny on the state Capitol.
00:42:39.000 It just happens because she was like, Oh, this will be a great photo op.
00:42:42.000 My wig and hat blows off.
00:42:44.000 I'm going on my covers blown.
00:42:45.000 And it became one of the most iconic moments in all of this program's history.
00:42:49.000 How did you get so close?
00:42:50.000 Can I finish my other thing real quick?
00:42:52.000 No, but you've had some great tweets lately, because the left has come out and talked about
00:42:56.000 how a right-leaning perspective cannot be funny, or they just don't understand the medium of comedy,
00:43:01.000 which of course I disagree with. Tell us a little bit more about kind of your tweets for people who
00:43:06.000 aren't necessarily in the know, aren't following you, and what your reaction has been.
00:43:10.000 I definitely will. Can I finish my other thing just real quick?
00:43:13.000 Yes, sorry, go ahead.
00:43:14.000 So anyway, to make a long story short, a buddy of mine billed me as Dan Whitney, aka
00:43:21.000 Larry the Cable Guy at his comedy club one night in Florida.
00:43:26.000 And I went on stage and the Larry the Cable, and I was doing fine.
00:43:30.000 I mean, I was a funny comedian.
00:43:32.000 But the Larry stuff just killed him.
00:43:34.000 So he came up to me.
00:43:35.000 I couldn't follow it.
00:43:37.000 You know, I tried to go back into my own act and I couldn't really follow.
00:43:40.000 People are yelling, you know, I get done.
00:43:43.000 I'm signing autographs and taking pictures.
00:43:45.000 And my real name's on the board.
00:43:47.000 It says Dan Whitney, a.k.a.
00:43:49.000 Larry, the cable guy.
00:43:50.000 Right.
00:43:50.000 People are coming up.
00:43:51.000 Boy, Larry, we just love you.
00:43:52.000 We just love.
00:43:55.000 And so he came up to me and he said, you know what?
00:43:57.000 I'm going to erase your name.
00:43:59.000 And I'm just going to leave Larry the Cable Guy up.
00:44:00.000 He goes, can you do your whole show like that?
00:44:02.000 And I said, look, I talk like that all the time with my buddies because all my buddies are super southern.
00:44:08.000 So we just talk like that.
00:44:09.000 Yeah.
00:44:10.000 So I went on stage the second show and I did my entire show like that.
00:44:14.000 And pretty much the rest is history.
00:44:16.000 I ended up syndicating myself on 27 radio stations across the country.
00:44:21.000 People always say he came out of nowhere.
00:44:23.000 He was an overnight sensation.
00:44:26.000 That goes back to what Steve Martin said.
00:44:28.000 It takes a good 10 years.
00:44:29.000 I did.
00:44:30.000 I called radio stations five days a week, every day for 13 years.
00:44:37.000 Yeah.
00:44:37.000 And I developed an audience.
00:44:39.000 And so that's how my career happened.
00:44:41.000 Now, with your question about what I was tweeting out, I always get irritated.
00:44:48.000 Comedy is so subjective.
00:44:51.000 Obviously it's subjective.
00:44:53.000 It's like soda pop.
00:44:54.000 There's different flavors and you can like a flavor and not like a flavor.
00:44:59.000 But I always get a little irritated when I see people come just flat out on the internet.
00:45:05.000 First of all, they don't know anything about the business and they go, there's not one funny conservative.
00:45:10.000 Conservatives just aren't funny.
00:45:12.000 There's no funny conservative comedians.
00:45:15.000 And even when you present them with facts, and the way I say facts is, here's how you can determine how a comedian is successful by the free market.
00:45:28.000 The free market dictates who they think is funny and who they think isn't funny.
00:45:34.000 And if you go by the free market, There's a lot of funny conservative comedians out there.
00:45:40.000 And I even I even text out, you know, said they put out on the Internet a few years ago, the top 20 selling comedy artists in the history of the sound scan era.
00:45:53.000 Now, this is factual.
00:45:54.000 These are album sales.
00:45:56.000 Yeah.
00:45:57.000 Concert The blue color comedy tour dominates 10 of the 20 spaces.
00:46:06.000 Right.
00:46:07.000 And even when you say and not only that, Adam Sandler was on there, who's definitely a conservative type of media.
00:46:13.000 Sure.
00:46:14.000 Jerry Clower was on there.
00:46:16.000 So when you look at the facts, obviously, there are Well I think, and this lends itself to kind of what else you were talking about, and where they sort of leverage this.
00:46:27.000 The media right now, you talk about Netflix and Hulu and Amazon Prime, it's really dominated now, it's become kind of like three main networks again.
00:46:33.000 And they're actively pushing, they're not going to include a lot of conservatives typically.
00:46:37.000 We've had people on the show who've talked about that.
00:46:39.000 What was this, just Nanette, was a recent special, what did she say?
00:46:43.000 I'm not going to do jokes because there's nothing funny about being humiliated.
00:46:47.000 Actually, there's a ton funny about being humiliated.
00:46:49.000 I get humiliated all the time.
00:46:50.000 It depends on how you look at it.
00:46:52.000 The industry is trying to manipulate the free market in a lot of ways.
00:46:56.000 Like Owen, our good friend, you know, we've lost agents and management.
00:47:00.000 How do you view that and do you think that these gatekeepers are going to go away as we continue down the trail?
00:47:06.000 Well, I you know, I I have no idea.
00:47:10.000 I just always I've always just thought that the free market is where you get your reward.
00:47:17.000 If you're a comedian, I mean, Jeff Boxworthy told me a long time ago, Jeff taught me so much and stand up.
00:47:24.000 And, you know, one of the things that Jeff always told me was show business is called show business for a reason.
00:47:30.000 Everybody likes to do the show.
00:47:32.000 Nobody likes to do the business.
00:47:34.000 There's a lot of people funnier than me.
00:47:34.000 Right.
00:47:36.000 There's a lot of people funnier than Jeff.
00:47:38.000 But there was nobody better at the business than me and Jeff.
00:47:42.000 And so if you're good at the business, the show part's going to come.
00:47:46.000 Yeah.
00:47:46.000 And so I always learn that from Jeff.
00:47:48.000 But Jeff always told me this, too.
00:47:49.000 He said, look, you're don't ever.
00:47:52.000 He told me right off the bat.
00:47:53.000 He said, don't ever expect to win any kind of award from your peers because you're already
00:48:07.000 coming out doing a Southern character.
00:48:12.000 And they, for some reason, Hollywood does not like that.
00:48:19.000 And the proof is in the pudding because, you know, Jeff has sold more albums than Bill Cosby and Richard Pryor combined.
00:48:27.000 Plus he hasn't raped anyone.
00:48:29.000 And he's never ever has won a Grammy Award for his albums.
00:48:38.000 I mean, there was nobody, nobody even touches Jeff.
00:48:41.000 I mean, Jeff was selling every album he put out.
00:48:43.000 He was selling two, three million copies.
00:48:46.000 Yeah, I know.
00:48:47.000 He's never won it.
00:48:48.000 So when people say to us, you're never gonna win anything like that.
00:48:53.000 I always say it doesn't matter.
00:48:54.000 The proof is in the free market.
00:48:56.000 Right.
00:48:57.000 And one thing with comedy that's so, that's so, like you talk about being subjective, that really is so volatile.
00:49:02.000 I remember when I was doing a, I don't know if you probably don't remember these, NACA conference when I was starting in stand-ups.
00:49:06.000 This is a NACA conference.
00:49:07.000 Oh yeah, I told you.
00:49:08.000 Oh my gosh, this is a hell.
00:49:09.000 Carrot Top made a killing!
00:49:11.000 He did make a killing and I got murdered.
00:49:13.000 I remember I went, I went out there And I was Canadian at this point.
00:49:16.000 I was 18, I think, my first NACA.
00:49:19.000 And I was always, I've always been inherently conservative, right?
00:49:21.000 I didn't picture myself as a political comedian, but I was always politically incorrect.
00:49:24.000 And I went out and I had some material.
00:49:25.000 I think I had some jokes about, about Islam.
00:49:28.000 And you could hear the audience get really offended.
00:49:30.000 And I remember I was brought backstage afterwards.
00:49:32.000 Like, yeah, you can't, you can't do this here at NACA.
00:49:34.000 But I remember someone was telling me at that point, they were talking about how you were the biggest name in comedy.
00:49:39.000 I heard these, I won't talk about them publicly, but the numbers that you were getting paid for every show.
00:49:43.000 I was like, oh my god, I couldn't even possibly imagine that.
00:49:46.000 I remember before that it was kind of Dane Cook, and then for a while you have Amy Schumer,
00:49:51.000 Kevin Hart, but really when you look at Steve Martin it does seem like comedians stick around
00:49:55.000 for a very, very long time, obviously, and they have their audiences.
00:49:58.000 But the person who is number one, it's...
00:50:00.000 It's like the heavyweight championship.
00:50:01.000 It's really hard to hang on to that spot.
00:50:03.000 It's usually not more than a year or two, and then they come back around.
00:50:07.000 Is that something for you that was ever difficult to kind of deal with these, like I said,
00:50:12.000 the volatility, the variance there from year to year?
00:50:15.000 Well, you know, I was always, I mean, I liked everybody.
00:50:18.000 I mean, Steve, I mean, I've gotten along with, obviously I'm a conservative comedian,
00:50:24.000 but I've gotten along with all sorts of comedians.
00:50:27.000 I mean, I'm friends with Louis Black and I'm, you know, I'm friends with Tom.
00:50:31.000 My buddy Tom Ryan's a super lefty.
00:50:33.000 And sure.
00:50:34.000 I mean, I'm Tom.
00:50:35.000 I'm friends with a lot of comedians that I don't agree with, but I'm a guy that loves the craft of comedy.
00:50:42.000 I'm a one liner comedian.
00:50:43.000 I was a fan of all the old guys coming up.
00:50:46.000 So I do a lot of one liners, but I'm a fan of the craft and I'm one of those guys that I may not agree with your politics.
00:50:54.000 Matter of fact, I may hate your politics, and if you have a show, I probably won't watch it.
00:50:58.000 But I find you funny.
00:50:59.000 You do things that are funny, because I love the way you constructed the joke.
00:51:05.000 So I've always been like that.
00:51:06.000 I'm that way too, except my philosophy is if you want to masturbate in the green room, I'm not going to watch it.
00:51:11.000 That's kind of a hard line for me that I set.
00:51:14.000 Well, a lot of people have to set certain things.
00:51:16.000 We have to set certain boundaries.
00:51:18.000 Healthy boundaries.
00:51:20.000 Last question, subject to everyone's mind that we of course cannot talk about, but it occurred after we originally spoke about you coming on the program.
00:51:28.000 You've been in the national news recently for a story that you probably didn't want to be.
00:51:33.000 When you saw these images, when you read the news, were you surprised?
00:51:38.000 Well, I was surprised.
00:51:39.000 It made me sad.
00:51:40.000 It made me angry.
00:51:41.000 And, you know, they said that, you know, and I got to say that They had like a get-her-done, somebody put a get-her-done on one of those things that were sent out in the mail.
00:51:54.000 And it wasn't spelled right, first of all.
00:51:56.000 I don't think get-her-done is usually spelled right, so at that point it's tomato-tomano.
00:52:05.000 But you know, it just frustrates me and irritates me.
00:52:09.000 Whoever does anything like that is pathetic and they should spend the rest of their life in jail.
00:52:14.000 I you know, I the my phrase get her done has been around.
00:52:18.000 I've been saying it since I had a copyrighted 91 and it's been used from everybody from Little League baseball teams to football teams to kids in hospitals.
00:52:29.000 I don't know how many times that's been the rallying cry and cancer hospitals for these kids, but it's a great phrase.
00:52:36.000 It's a fun phrase.
00:52:37.000 It's intended to be empowering for people that are We don't want to continue on that because we're not going to give him any more attention than it's worth.
00:52:50.000 But it was, listen, it was the elephant outside the envelope that we had to address.
00:52:54.000 It is at Get R Done, Larry.
00:52:55.000 We don't want to continue on that because I don't give him any more attention than it's worth
00:52:57.000 But it was it was listen It was the elephant in the in the outside the envelope that
00:53:00.000 we had to address it is at get our done Larry Dan Whitney
00:53:06.000 Aka the cable guys get her get her. Well, I know but people will misspell it
00:53:10.000 Get.
00:53:11.000 Our.
00:53:11.000 Done.
00:53:12.000 Larry.
00:53:12.000 Dan, thanks so much for being here, brother, and be well.
00:53:15.000 Give your wife her phone back, since you stole it for the technology.
00:53:18.000 I'll do it, Stephen.
00:53:19.000 I appreciate you, man.
00:53:20.000 Thank you.
00:53:20.000 Thanks, man.
00:53:21.000 take care and we'll be back after this to wrap this up in a nice ribbon.
00:53:26.000 I'm with you.
00:53:27.000 I'm with you.
00:53:28.000 And we'll be jumping, jumping, jumping.
00:53:29.000 Wallahu Jalabu Dhu, Bil'aqwa Al-Mas'alik.
00:53:30.000 Wallahu Jalabu Dhu, Bil'aqwa Al-Mas'alik.
00:53:31.000 I'm with you.
00:53:32.000 I'm with you.
00:53:33.000 And we'll be jumping, jumping, jumping.
00:53:34.000 Wallahu Jalabu Dhu, Bil'aqwa Al-Mas'alik.
00:53:35.000 I'm with you.
00:53:36.000 I'm with you.
00:53:37.000 And we'll be jumping, jumping, jumping.
00:53:38.000 Wallahu Jalabu Dhu, Bil'aqwa Al-Mas'alik.
00:53:39.000 I'm with you.
00:53:40.000 I'm with you.
00:53:41.000 And we'll be jumping, jumping, jumping.
00:54:13.000 Oh, hello.
00:54:14.000 Thinking of joining Mug Club?
00:54:16.000 Don't.
00:54:18.000 Mug Club is terrible.
00:54:20.000 It's two hundred and fifty dollars.
00:54:23.000 That's not an accurate price point at all.
00:54:25.000 Eh, no.
00:54:26.000 No, it's not.
00:54:27.000 I would have thought you'd do better propaganda.
00:54:28.000 I really was hoping for some propaganda.
00:54:30.000 Hopefully you don't pull out the deer knife.
00:54:33.000 Okay, okay.
00:54:33.000 $250, but you get a mug.
00:54:35.000 And that is all.
00:54:37.000 No, you get a lot more than a mug, actually.
00:54:38.000 You not only get the show every single day, but you also get every single show on CRTV.
00:54:42.000 Yeah, the whole catalog.
00:54:43.000 That's not $250.
00:54:44.000 It's $69 for students, veterans, active military at ladderwithcutter.com slash mug club.
00:54:48.000 Yeah.
00:54:49.000 I'm not a rocket doctor, but that sounds like $250.
00:54:52.000 That does not sound like $250.
00:54:54.000 It is surprisingly affordable, and it's what allows us to keep doing this show every single day, and things like Change My Mind, Crowder Confronts, you know, all the things that you've come to know and love.
00:55:02.000 But if you don't want them, that's okay.
00:55:04.000 We can just have Mahmood al-Mahmood take over, because I'm pretty sure that he's in a panel somewhere, some kind of a board with Susan Wojcicki.
00:55:10.000 What's she like, by the way?
00:55:12.000 Uh, who?
00:55:13.000 lateralcrowder.com slash mugclub.
00:55:15.000 Stephen.
00:55:17.000 ♪ Intro Music ♪ ♪ Intro Music Continues ♪
00:55:21.000 ♪ Intro Music Continues ♪ ♪ Intro Music Continues ♪
00:55:25.000 ♪ Intro Music Continues ♪ ♪ Intro Music Continues ♪
00:55:29.000 ♪ Intro Music Continues ♪ Last one.
00:56:00.000 That was called the cocky diver with no tolerance for cold who didn't realize that there was an undercurrent.
00:56:07.000 Go back and watch it.
00:56:08.000 It makes perfect sense.
00:56:08.000 You don't understand.
00:56:09.000 It's a long name for a dance.
00:56:11.000 Thank you to Larry the Cable Guy for being on the show.
00:56:13.000 And thanks so much to Mahmood Al-Mahmood.
00:56:14.000 We actually had to have him escorted by armed security.
00:56:16.000 Yeah, had to bring him in.
00:56:17.000 It was a whole big deal.
00:56:19.000 Speaking of armed security, I changed my mind next week.
00:56:22.000 Could be live broadcast from TCU on Monday or Tuesday was maybe when we're going to go there and show up.
00:56:27.000 Who knows?
00:56:28.000 Who knows?
00:56:29.000 The chalk doesn't lie, but the chalk is very nonspecific.
00:56:34.000 Very vague, Chuck.
00:56:36.000 Well, we're not being very vague by saying maybe we'll be descending upon the campus Monday or Tuesday.
00:56:40.000 By the way, we've gone through the golden ticket sweepstakes.
00:56:43.000 And I should also say, we're not doing a show the Thursday of Thanksgiving for people before people send their email.
00:56:48.000 Put that out there.
00:56:49.000 Don't use this next email that I'm going to release here to send your complaints.
00:56:53.000 We always get that when we talk about, oh, we're hiring.
00:56:56.000 Here's where you send your email.
00:56:57.000 People are like, hey, I think that you should do this.
00:57:00.000 It's not really what it's for.
00:57:01.000 Here's a picture of my penis.
00:57:02.000 And we're like, hold on a second.
00:57:04.000 Are you a Fox News staffer?
00:57:05.000 And it always turns out they are.
00:57:08.000 So we are hiring people.
00:57:09.000 This is something that I want to make sure we're very, very specific.
00:57:12.000 So follow these instructions here.
00:57:14.000 This comes to me from Smooth Manny, who is in charge of the edit bay.
00:57:18.000 We're hiring one person right now.
00:57:20.000 Main qualities, expert in Photoshop, also After Effects and Premiere.
00:57:25.000 Needs to be a master at image comp, color correction, particularly something called... I don't know what photo bashing is exactly, but I know that it's a thing you need to know.
00:57:32.000 Obviously, you have to be a fan of the show.
00:57:35.000 Familiar with the show, have a congruent sense of humor, timing, and story flow through video editing and creative choices.
00:57:40.000 So the reason we're being very specific here is because a lot of the times people send an email and go, I have no qualifications, I can't do any editing, but I really like the show.
00:57:47.000 Can I work there?
00:57:47.000 We're like, I appreciate it, but we can't necessarily hire you.
00:57:50.000 We will have some PA positions opening up soon, and that's something that if you're less skilled in editing or you're less seasoned, we bring in a lot of people.
00:57:57.000 As a matter of fact, you were effectively a PA when you first came in.
00:57:59.000 Yeah, I was.
00:57:59.000 I was for a while.
00:57:59.000 And you moved your way up.
00:58:00.000 Climbed something else you must be willing to relocate and soon if not don't waste the wonderful staff time here
00:58:07.000 because they had to relocate They're in charge of relocating people if you don't have to
00:58:11.000 be where the studio is located So if you if it's like well, I will I not relocate then
00:58:16.000 this probably isn't the position for you You must be able to work under tight deadlines work
00:58:20.000 This is still I'm steel manning you here as Owen puts it making
00:58:23.000 This is the most difficult possible scenario because we don't want you to, we have too many, we have like hundreds and hundreds of resumes from the last time.
00:58:30.000 So we're trying to filter this out because we want to find the right person to help the folks that are in the edit bay.
00:58:33.000 Tight deadlines, work well with others, be capable of implementing constructive criticism.
00:58:37.000 And listen, work long and hard until the project is done.
00:58:40.000 This isn't the same, it's not like most workplaces.
00:58:42.000 There aren't weekends if a project is not done because people want to kill you.
00:58:45.000 So if all of this still sounds like you, This is what you need to do.
00:58:49.000 You need to send an email to IAMYOUREXPERT at louderwithcrowder.com.
00:58:54.000 You are to title your email, IAMTHEEXPERTYOUSEEK-2378.
00:58:59.000 The numbers.
00:59:02.000 So again, quote, this is exactly what you sent, IAMTHEEXPERTYOUSEEK-2378.
00:59:07.000 Include some sample Photoshops or examples of your incredible photo bashing skills along with a resume, reel or portfolio if you're mainly a Photoshop expert, and three reasons why you should be hired above Everyone else, failure to do so, failure to follow any of these instructions will result in immediate dismissal of your submission.
00:59:24.000 And Courtney will find out.
00:59:25.000 Yes, and Courtney will find out.
00:59:26.000 Courtney will find out.
00:59:27.000 Courtney was, but it was also very specific.
00:59:28.000 She's like, I don't want to look through 500 more resumes, and if I see another dick pic, I'm like, I'm sorry, Courtney, that you had to go through that.
00:59:37.000 We should put a filter.
00:59:38.000 We should put a filter on those.
00:59:39.000 PA.
00:59:39.000 Don't include any weird images of yourself.
00:59:42.000 Actually, do.
00:59:43.000 But don't send it here.
00:59:44.000 Send those to Courtney, specifically.
00:59:46.000 Slide into the DMs.
00:59:47.000 So we do have a busy week next week.
00:59:48.000 We do have another Life Advice program that will be occurring, and I changed my mind, like we talked about.
00:59:53.000 And this is something, actually, I had, kind of, this is the last segment of the week, which we often... I don't even know, it became, was it Crowder Closes?
01:00:01.000 Is that what it's called?
01:00:01.000 Crowder Closes.
01:00:03.000 It's just something that we've done for a long time.
01:00:04.000 The last segment of the week is kind of an opportunity to talk with you guys and hopefully offer something a little more earnest that other shows don't necessarily do.
01:00:11.000 This is something I actually asked to have framed.
01:00:13.000 I have this bookmarked on my computer.
01:00:17.000 And I'm actually going forward and I'm going to have this framed in my office.
01:00:22.000 And it might seem a little dark.
01:00:23.000 It's actually a Daily Beast article.
01:00:24.000 It was at the front page.
01:00:25.000 It was called, The Unmaking of a Conservative Pundit.
01:00:30.000 And it was a hit piece.
01:00:32.000 It was a hit piece.
01:00:33.000 Caitlin Dixon wrote it.
01:00:35.000 Caitlin Dixon wrote this.
01:00:36.000 Unmaking of a Conservative Pundit at Daily Beast.
01:00:38.000 One of the biggest news websites at the time.
01:00:40.000 And I remember her... This is when I learned about journalism, too, where things that I thought were off the record ended up being on the record.
01:00:47.000 And this was entirely written to... I don't know why it was written.
01:00:50.000 I was a kid, and I had left Fox News.
01:00:53.000 We kind of separated, and it wasn't as... Looking back, things weren't handled right, and there was a non-compete.
01:00:59.000 and which they were right to enforce. I didn't really know what I was doing but
01:01:03.000 I know I remember how down I felt because at that point all of it what was
01:01:09.000 written here too was mostly real. So imagine you're me, you're a kid and
01:01:15.000 someone goes on one of the biggest news websites in the world and writes the
01:01:18.000 unmaking of a conservative pundit just talking about what a failure you've
01:01:22.000 become.
01:01:24.000 I just remember how deeply it stung.
01:01:25.000 It was something I didn't really like to talk about for a while.
01:01:28.000 So before this show would have existed or us, we were about to cross over the 3 million subscriber mark, it would be something that if anyone even brought up would sting.
01:01:35.000 I don't really want to talk about that.
01:01:36.000 That's one thing I will say I appreciate about President Donald Trump, because he has these hit pieces all the time.
01:01:41.000 He doesn't care.
01:01:42.000 I think he's wrong a lot of the time, but he keeps going.
01:01:45.000 Screw them is his philosophy, which sometimes is correct.
01:01:48.000 That's going to be the theme of this credit quote, is screw them.
01:01:50.000 So I remember actually, too, this spurred an argument with my parents, which I think many of you have probably had.
01:01:57.000 I remember my parents talking about, we were talking about God,
01:01:59.000 we were talking about kind of Christian theology.
01:02:00.000 And I'm not a prosperity gospel guy, where it's like, God wants you to have a million dollars
01:02:05.000 and a G7, I don't know if it's a G7, it's a plan or it's a G6,
01:02:07.000 no, that's not what I'm talking about.
01:02:08.000 I remember my parents talking about how good, God wanted good things for me.
01:02:10.000 And I was bitter, this was a point in my life I was pretty bitter, and I remember I pointed
01:02:14.000 to all the successful evil people in the world.
01:02:16.000 And not just the Saddam Husseins and the Bin Ladens, but like even the Alec Baldwins of the world.
01:02:19.000 I remember using them as a specific example, because sure enough, I just watched The Edge again
01:02:22.000 very recently, and I was like, well, listen, you know, God, if you say that good guys end up doing well,
01:02:28.000 What about, what about the Saddam Husseins?
01:02:30.000 What about, like, Alec Baldwin?
01:02:31.000 He's one of the most successful actors, right?
01:02:33.000 At this point, Dirty Rock was really big.
01:02:34.000 He's, you know, Alec Baldwin.
01:02:36.000 We know he's a piece of crap.
01:02:38.000 And my parents, I remember it didn't matter what they said, they wouldn't convince me that I was wrong.
01:02:41.000 But now that I've grown up, I have realized how wrong I was.
01:02:44.000 Because the truth is that you don't really know what somebody else's life is.
01:02:49.000 I don't remember who said this, but ugly things happen in pretty houses.
01:02:53.000 Let me ask you this, would you trade your life with Alec Baldwin's, I think, what is he on marriage number three now?
01:02:59.000 I believe estranged from his daughter.
01:03:00.000 A lot of these celebrities have How often do you see a starlet who has it all, right?
01:03:02.000 You see this all the time.
01:03:03.000 And we see envy is, like we talked about, the left is really, they cloak envy as empathy.
01:03:10.000 And I think it's one of the most common human traits.
01:03:12.000 It's the one that we need to guard our heart against probably the most is envy.
01:03:16.000 I know certainly myself, I can't speak for anybody else, I know it's something that comes very naturally to be envious.
01:03:21.000 How often do we see someone, I don't know, a starlet or a star, and you're like, oh man, they have it all, and then all of a sudden they go to rehab.
01:03:27.000 Some kind of substance abuse.
01:03:28.000 Or you see the perfect couple, right?
01:03:29.000 How many benefers have there been now, and then bang!
01:03:31.000 Domestic abuse, or they get divorced.
01:03:34.000 You don't know what their life is really like.
01:03:36.000 And here's something else, just as surely, you don't know how your story ends.
01:03:40.000 And at this time, this article, when was it written?
01:03:44.000 I didn't.
01:03:46.000 The show that you see didn't even exist.
01:03:47.000 The pre-daily show, remember, hashtag never daily, that didn't even exist.
01:03:51.000 And not only is there something, you know, there's self-doubt that everybody has, but this journalist, I learned the hard way, this journalist, this authority figure, was publicly declaring me to be a wash-up.
01:04:05.000 So I have the self-doubt going, like, maybe, man, you're 20, you're 25, and you've peaked.
01:04:09.000 I don't know if you, I don't know what you go from.
01:04:11.000 And then someone else is saying, hey, the whole world, front page, he's peaked.
01:04:16.000 He's done, down for the count.
01:04:18.000 Front page.
01:04:19.000 What does that do?
01:04:20.000 That creates more self-doubt.
01:04:21.000 And it's a cycle.
01:04:23.000 And yes, this writer sucks, but I just feel like I can't control exactly what everyone else does with their lives.
01:04:30.000 All I can control and all you can control is breaking the cycle for yourself.
01:04:33.000 Only you can break that cycle.
01:04:34.000 There's nothing more crushing, I will tell you, that's why I have this here, and that's why I will have it framed in my office, to remind me there's nothing more crushing than having someone else publicly confirm your self-doubt.
01:04:45.000 You can take it to a smaller... Maybe, I don't know, you're self-conscious about your weight and someone tells you to get on a treadmill, you fat bastard.
01:04:51.000 I had that once in grade school.
01:04:53.000 Not grade school.
01:04:53.000 What's eighth grade here?
01:04:54.000 What is it?
01:04:54.000 Junior high?
01:04:55.000 Junior high is... I don't know.
01:04:56.000 I have no idea.
01:04:56.000 I don't know the school system.
01:04:57.000 Maybe you have a terrible zit and you go to a party and someone says, like, yo, what's that?
01:05:00.000 Is this the costume party?
01:05:01.000 I had that exact thing.
01:05:02.000 I had such a bad zit in my chin.
01:05:03.000 I remember this girl asked me if I fell off my bike and I said, yeah.
01:05:07.000 And you could see my soul leave my body.
01:05:11.000 If you had an ultra slow-mo cam, you could probably see the moment where my heart broke, snapped in half like Ralph from The Simpsons.
01:05:17.000 It's crushing!
01:05:18.000 It can be absolutely crushing if someone else confirmed something you're self-conscious about.
01:05:22.000 Something that you have self-doubt about.
01:05:24.000 If you let it.
01:05:26.000 Or, you can choose Screw them.
01:05:29.000 Maybe it's deeper than that.
01:05:30.000 Maybe it's deeper than a zitter weight.
01:05:31.000 I'm just trying to kind of ease us into this.
01:05:32.000 Maybe a self-doubt that you think you're undeserving of a good life.
01:05:35.000 Maybe you've achieved something pretty great and secretly, maybe deep down, you think you're not good enough.
01:05:40.000 And someone comes along and says, man, she's way out of your league.
01:05:43.000 She's not sticking around.
01:05:44.000 A lot of us have encountered that.
01:05:45.000 I've encountered that as well.
01:05:46.000 By the way, I won't say they're entirely wrong.
01:05:48.000 You can let it crush you, or you can say, screw them.
01:05:51.000 Maybe you break off from the world's most successful cable news channel, and you're filled with crippling fear and doubt because you don't know the next step.
01:05:59.000 And then maybe a front-page journalist declares you dead to the world.
01:06:04.000 You can let it crush you.
01:06:05.000 And for a while I did.
01:06:06.000 I had a pity party.
01:06:07.000 Or you can choose to say, screw them.
01:06:10.000 And you know what?
01:06:11.000 It could happen again tomorrow.
01:06:13.000 I could get banned.
01:06:14.000 We saw this with the, thank God the YouTube feminist crocodile feeder.
01:06:18.000 I don't know if that's the term.
01:06:19.000 God, he got his channel back.
01:06:20.000 I could get banned tomorrow.
01:06:22.000 Torched.
01:06:22.000 The Pitchfork mod could come for us.
01:06:24.000 I know it happens.
01:06:24.000 It could happen.
01:06:25.000 DOA.
01:06:26.000 It'll hurt.
01:06:28.000 But screw them.
01:06:29.000 Make no mistake, right now when everyone else, I think this is why I talk about this so often, when they're calling for civility, and they're calling for unity, I'm not.
01:06:37.000 I'm not calling for violence, I'm not calling for rudeness, but I am calling for everyone who's out there who's been silent, or who's scared, or who's been mocked, or intimidated, who's been accused, I don't know, of being a gang rapist, you don't need to hold hands and sing, screw them!
01:06:53.000 You can choose to say screw them.
01:06:55.000 I would say that if someone accused me of being a gang rapist, you don't have to be on board.
01:06:59.000 You don't have to find unity with people whose sole purpose in life is to crush your spirit.
01:07:07.000 And here's why.
01:07:07.000 Why do you stage criticism?
01:07:08.000 Because you do need to have wise counsel.
01:07:10.000 We've talked about this a lot.
01:07:11.000 You need people around you who you trust.
01:07:13.000 People who will offer you genuine criticism so when you're wrong, people will call you on it.
01:07:17.000 But the reason you have that closed circle is so that you don't listen to all of the voices that don't matter.
01:07:23.000 And you shouldn't listen to them.
01:07:25.000 Why?
01:07:25.000 Because your story isn't over yet.
01:07:28.000 And here's the thing.
01:07:29.000 Everyone out there, to some degree or another, is great at something.
01:07:32.000 I've talked about that.
01:07:33.000 Find what it is that you're great at doing.
01:07:35.000 You are destined for great things.
01:07:37.000 It may not be what you think is great.
01:07:39.000 It may not even be something that you're anticipating.
01:07:41.000 It may not even be on your radar.
01:07:42.000 But you're destined to do something big.
01:07:45.000 God wants good things for you.
01:07:46.000 Okay, you can say the universe wants good things for you.
01:07:48.000 Your tantric yogi instructor for all I care wants good things for you.
01:07:50.000 But the world needs good things from you.
01:07:53.000 I need good things from you.
01:07:54.000 This entire team needs good things from you.
01:07:56.000 And we'll both be damned.
01:07:58.000 All of us be damned to hell if you're going to let somebody else pen your last chapters.
01:08:02.000 I remember this happened and it stung so badly.
01:08:05.000 Picture you're that kid.
01:08:06.000 You're going, man, I don't know what I can do for the rest of my life.
01:08:09.000 I've got nine months here where I've got to sit and just kind of stew on this decision and hope that I stepped out in faith and hope that it's right.
01:08:16.000 And someone calls up and says, hey, you know what?
01:08:17.000 I'm doing a piece, a profile piece on you.
01:08:20.000 Can we talk about some things?
01:08:21.000 Oh, yeah, I guess.
01:08:22.000 Oh, sure.
01:08:22.000 Yeah, this will be off the record.
01:08:24.000 And then the undoing, undoing, unmaking of a conservative pundit goes on to a news site that you read every single day.
01:08:35.000 That sucks.
01:08:36.000 It sucked, and I keep it there because, you know what?
01:08:38.000 I keep it in front of me, and I read it regularly.
01:08:42.000 You know why?
01:08:43.000 Because I go back to, oh, wait, hold on a second.
01:08:45.000 There was a stage in my life where I thought this person was right, and they weren't.
01:08:51.000 I was letting that person write the next chapter to my life.
01:08:54.000 You don't have to do that.
01:08:55.000 You can choose to let someone else not only dictate the next chapter of your life, not only write the next portion of your book, but you can choose to let someone stop you from writing it yourself.
01:09:05.000 Don't.
01:09:06.000 You can also choose... screw them.
01:09:09.000 That's OK.
01:09:10.000 There's nothing immoral about that.
01:09:11.000 It's certainly not any less virtuous than this idea of unity out there that we try to feign as though we're going to find common ground with people who want us dead, with people who want us completely incapable of seeking gainful employment, people who want the world to think that we're gang rapists.
01:09:25.000 No.
01:09:25.000 No, no, no.
01:09:26.000 I think that you sit down, determine what you want in life, chart a course, make a plan, And if the people don't fit in with that plan, if these people are trying to stop you from reaching your goal, guess what?
01:09:35.000 It's OK for you to say, screw them.
01:09:37.000 That's it.
01:09:37.000 That's the message this week.
01:09:38.000 I'll see you next week.
01:09:39.000 I think it's probably Monday or Tuesday.
01:09:41.000 I don't know.