Ted Cruz is a man of many talents. He's a lawyer, an actor, a comedian, a writer, and an all-around great human being. And yet, he's also a fraud, a criminal, a sex slave, and a serial killer. This week, Garrett and Vanessa talk about how Ted Cruz got his start in the political world, why he's a scammer, and why we should all be scared of him.
00:00:00.000Hey, before we start the show, please do take this time to join up at lightearthcreditor.com slash MugClub.
00:00:04.000It's what allows this show to continue, and you get this hand-etched mug, and of course, you get daily content that you cannot find on YouTube.
00:00:11.000Want to let you know that we are going to have a large, or big, large, I don't know, live Christmas show on Wednesday the 18th.
00:00:17.000It will be live-streamed, but we will be live in front of an audience.
00:00:50.000It turns out the celebration was actually for gender reassignment surgery, with the flying piece of debris being a rogue dismembered former penis.
00:00:59.000Like, I would rather have a beer with you than probably, like, 90% of my conservative friends, because I think we'd actually learn something from each other.
00:02:16.000Mate in front of Mohammed without thinking twice Never thought that I'd have to fight your ridicule
00:02:26.000But if you insist, then just heed my advice, oh you
00:02:34.000We'll be held responsible If he's preparing his case Illegally responsible Half-Asian boo right in your face For the life of me I cannot decipher What made you think that this was wise And we'll never compromise For the life of me, I cannot believe you try to ban us for these sins.
00:03:07.000Now meet my half-Asian And my friend, if you think that your legal team is better
00:03:23.000Just know there's at least one thing you can bet that When my half-Asian lawyer takes the courtroom floor
00:03:33.000Think about it Now I'll be the voice inside your head that says, who built the hell responsible?
00:03:45.000As he's preparing his case, Yeah, legally responsible.
00:10:15.000So we here at Louder with Crowder, of course, we're going to be talking about the UN, we're going to be talking about NATO, serious things, but not right now.
00:10:23.000We, of course, do wish, listen, Kamala Harris the best on her future endeavors, and we put together this tribute set to the song Closing Time.
00:10:32.000Well, actually, we couldn't afford the rights to Closing Time, so we had to make our own song.
00:11:57.000I have also started to perhaps be more candid, talking about what I describe and what I believe to be the elephant in the room about my campaign.
00:12:53.000That was you, because you were rejected by your black brethren, and so you decided you were going to go full white, and that didn't work out for you either, Quarter Black Garrett.
00:13:34.000The popular Mandalorian character, I guess is a Star Wars reference, averages 1,671 social interactions per story, almost double that of the closest Democrat, which is not surprising.
00:13:48.000Yoda is the perfect combination of all the Democratic frontrunners.
00:13:52.000He's old, he jumbles his words, and he regularly has another man hand up his ass.
00:16:05.000Trust me, this is gonna be good for us.
00:16:07.000Page six, the quote is, I have abused my lungs quite a bit in the past, so breathing is a little more difficult these days, as I have to be careful.
00:16:15.000In other news, due to repeated rope burn, for the entire month of December, Hillary Clinton has sworn off murder.
00:17:17.000It's really not all that surprising, though, kind of what you're saying, given the controversial addition that Star Wars fans weren't too thrilled about from Billy Dee to Empire Strikes Back.
00:20:18.000The items featured images of the Nazi concentration camp on tree ornaments, bottle openers, and more.
00:20:24.000And of course, that one company has since removed the items.
00:20:27.000But many people have actually overlooked some of the other, and we did some digging, some other tasteless Christmas-themed items available on Amazon, which brings us to this week's 7 Plus 1.
00:24:20.000That only works because it was right next to Jumanji, so everyone can be equally offended.
00:24:24.000And of course, the plus one of seven plus one tasteless items available on Amazon for Christmas, the post-op nutcracker.
00:24:34.000It says pre-op, and you guys... He's got the dangle, so... That's okay, because most of them, like 90% of them, they go, they get the top surgery and the hormone blockers, but they don't do the bottom surgery.
00:28:53.000It's fair game to go after these guys, and one of the parts of the video we don't get to, but if you ever have to explain that you're joking, Trevor's video, this is horrible.
00:28:59.000If you ever have to explain that you're joking, and I know this from personal experience, it sucks!
00:29:05.000Alright, so let's go to the first clip, which is kind of, they're comparing, I think this is, they're comparing Trump vs. Macron, his comments on NATO.
00:34:57.000The truth is, Donald Trump has a point.
00:35:00.000Okay, yes, he may have exaggerated when he said that most ISIS fighters come from Europe.
00:35:04.000But, Macron was certainly wrong when he said that European fighters account for a tiny percentage The truth, okay, is somewhere in the middle.
00:35:11.000You know, like the surrounding Frenchmen.
00:35:13.000They're usually in the middle, surrounded by a firing squad.
00:35:38.000So out of 10,000, to keep me out, to keep my impressions out, out of 10,000, here's the number, out of 10,000 ISIS prisoners, 10,000 ISIS prisoners in Syria, 2,000 are foreign fighters.
00:35:49.000Almost 1,000 of those are known, at least known right now, to be from Europe.
00:37:31.000By the way, on top of this, France are refusing to put their own ISIS fighters on trial.
00:37:35.000They demand that other countries take care of the terrorists, and then they publicly oppose it when those same countries sentence them to death for terrorism.
00:37:41.000It's like, can you handle our problem?
00:37:42.000Okay, we're gonna put them in the chamber.
00:39:44.000And here's the point about Trump's critique, right?
00:39:46.000He's been saying for years that NATO members, and this is something we've talked about, and this is what I want, and I'll get into the history of NATO a little bit for people who don't understand why I think that NATO is important if it were implemented properly, as opposed to the UN.
00:39:59.000Trump has been saying for years that countries, members of NATO, need to pay their fair share.
00:41:51.000I'm sorry, but I get so upset about it.
00:41:53.000When you think about it, it's like, OK, after World War II, how about we all pitch in 2%?
00:41:57.000Which, by the way, is like saying, hey, United States, you really saved our ass back there in World War II.
00:42:02.000So we're all going to say 2% because we know that you're really going to be contributing more than anyone, but we'll at least all contribute 2%.
00:42:06.000Then we start contributing 3%, 4%, 5%.
00:42:17.000He's mad that we don't advance the EU's agenda.
00:42:21.000He wants Europe to call the shots when it comes to NATO, all the while France is the number one source of European ISIS fighters, and he refuses to take responsibility for them.
00:43:29.000If you would be absolutely pummeled by Drake in a jello fight, I don't think you should be speaking for minorities in a late night program.
00:43:39.000I think we're being a little hard on Noah.
00:44:47.000By the way, whatever happened to taxing big companies?
00:44:50.000Shouldn't they be pleased, tickled pink, Democrats to hear this?
00:44:55.000But really, if President Trump, all he's saying is that if American companies are going to be taxed, the revenue should go to the United States and not France.
00:45:03.000Could there be more bipartisan stance to take?
00:45:21.000Regardless of what you think about the tariffs and the trade wars, and I'm not always on board with Trump with the tariffs, but why would you be rooting for a country that's trying to damage our economy?
00:45:31.000Senator Grassley, Wyden, top Republicans and Democrats on the Senate, they all just released a joint statement saying that the French digital services tax is unreasonable, protectionist and discriminatory.
00:45:42.000And when people make comments like this, I mean, it's like most of the news right now.
00:48:13.000We are over-performing, we are over-contributing, and we are saving more lives.
00:48:18.000And while more of the citizens, by the way, from these other countries, all the while, more of their citizens are converting to terrorist Islam and committing acts of, I wouldn't say converting to Islam and committing acts of terrorism, and I know people get mad about that, but you know what?
00:48:48.000So they're committing terrorist attacks on their own citizens in their own countries, and now they're even going to other countries like Syria to commit terrorism abroad.
00:48:56.000But France, they still can't be troubled to spend their 2% on the problem.
00:49:02.000Whatever happened to the wealthy paying their fair share?
00:49:05.000The top 1%, we hear that all the time, right?
00:49:07.000Wouldn't governments with trillions of dollars qualify?
00:49:12.000Can you guys open the coffers a little bit?
00:49:14.000And let's remove the fact that there are multi-billion and multi-trillion dollar governments from Europe and they're not paying their fair shares viewed through the lens of identity politics.
00:49:22.000I don't want France or Germany or Canada just to pay their fair share because they're rich and I want to take their money.
00:49:29.000It's not like some Bernie Sanders tax plan.
00:49:31.000I want them to pay what they promised to pay because it's their job.
00:49:37.000The government's first and arguably only job is to keep its citizens safe.
00:49:42.000France, Germany, Canada, Italy, they're not doing that, we are.
00:49:48.000Instead of paying for socialized healthcare, for 12-year paternity leave and retirement at the ripe old age of 32, you start doing your job at ensuring the safety and future of your citizens.
00:49:58.000It's why you exist, it is your job, and Donald Trump is 100% correct in pointing out that you suck at it.
00:52:38.000They have the balls to support this show.
00:52:40.000And the price is actually very competitive.
00:52:42.000It's often less expensive than some of the boutique brands you're getting at your supermarket that have been sitting there for eight months, for all you know.
00:54:05.000I'm hopeful it'll stick around, but it can be any color it wants.
00:54:08.000Yeah, you know, I do have a shampoo because for a weird thing, like I have this Mr. Fantastic, but it's a crescent moon in my sideburn that is white.
00:54:15.000So everything else is, and then it's white like this where it looks like I have that hyperpigmentosia, whatever it's called.
00:54:36.000This is true, but you're closer to it than I am, Senator Cruz, so open the coffers.
00:54:42.000Before we get to talk about big tech, let me ask you, impeachment, we haven't talked about it at all today, we just talked about NATO a little bit, and I think that unlike the UN, NATO serves a valid purpose, it's just the execution has been a joke and that people haven't been carrying their weight.
00:54:59.000So we haven't talked about impeachment, Is there anything new that we need to know?
00:55:19.000You know, if you look at past impeachments, look at Bill Clinton's impeachment, look at Richard Nixon's impeachment, In both instances, the House actually tried to respect due process.
00:55:28.000They allowed the minority to subpoena witnesses to cross-examine.
00:55:32.000House Democrats aren't doing any of that.
00:57:06.000The last thing they would expect is for you to show up in a monogrammed onesie with a butt flap, and they go into the Senate bathroom, and they're like, Senator Cruz is not even taking his clothes off, and you just go, I got a flap!
00:57:16.000I got a flap because I've got so much stuff to do, I can't be taking off pants!
00:58:09.000The Democrats don't want any witnesses that contradict the political narrative they're trying to put out, which is why I think most Americans have tuned this out.
00:58:18.000You know, the interesting thing, when I go home to Texas, Nobody asked me about this.
00:58:24.000People are interested in jobs and their lives.
00:58:26.000Now, when we get to the Senate, I think the Senate, I hope and believe, will do a much better job being fair.
00:58:33.000And we're going to let both sides present their case.
00:58:35.000And that means if the White House wants to call witnesses, if they want to call Hunter Biden as a witness, if they want to call the whistleblower as a witness, both of them, I think, are obviously very relevant fact witnesses.
01:01:15.000So I don't know if they did that with the Beatles, but yeah, I've never seen as much national attention to a local election as you and Beto, and he still lost.
01:01:22.000Well, and every week there would be a different profile.
01:04:01.000More importantly, what do you not say?
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01:04:18.000All you need to do when you have their service is call a toll-free hotline night or day.
01:04:22.000A representative, they'll get you through the critical moments.
01:04:25.000They have a network of attorneys ready to help you.
01:07:56.000But she likes to have a self-driving car.
01:07:59.000Now, let me explain this to you, because my wife, where we lived for a long time, they didn't have all of the high roads and overpasses like you have here.
01:08:07.000So anyone who's been to this area of the country, everything is built really high.
01:08:11.000Well, they also can't drive in the snow.
01:08:54.000But I said, I tell you what, we can get a self-driving car once the technology gets there, but only if you've gotten to the point where you can drive entirely comfortably on these four-lane roads that go up, you know, 80 stories in the sky.
01:09:11.000Only once a year, which I know sounds sort of like it defeats the purpose, but actually that's the whole reason that I
01:09:26.000Otherwise, and the reason I say this is because otherwise, it would be letting the fear dictate her decision.
01:09:31.000It would be getting a Tesla, getting a self-driving car because she's afraid or uncomfortable to drive a normal car on a road that's 80 feet up.
01:09:41.000And I don't want someone, I don't want my wife making a decision based on fear.
01:09:46.000When you do that, and I think everyone here has done that at some point, when you, instead of conquering your fear, Your fear owns you.
01:10:11.000I'm going to have to put Hopper to sleep.
01:10:16.000It's something that is really difficult to do.
01:10:22.000But if you want me to talk more about Hopper and his life, and how he even changed the Hodge twins who became dog fans, and how many lives he's touched, just follow me on Instagram.
01:10:30.000I'll talk more about that personal stuff there, because I talked about it once on this show, and I'm not doing this for it to be a tearjerker.
01:10:38.000But there were discussions that need to happen.
01:10:45.000But it is this is the first time I've had to go through this and it is probably the hardest thing I've had to do because you have to make a decision.
01:12:19.000That dog is gonna be leaving the world terrified.
01:12:21.000When we came back from the vet, I'm not gonna lie, I cried like a bitch, but I closed the door, put Hopper in, turned my head, did one of those, you know, things that hurts your chest because you're trying not to let the cry come out.
01:13:19.000I know sometimes we offer, and we do, we talk about stick-to-itiveness and discipline and a plan, and all of that is important.
01:13:25.000That being said, you can maintain control of your emotions, you can be disciplined, you can set a plan, you can get up at the same time every day, you could be doing the right things, and sometimes your emotions just get the better of you, and everyone gets to a point where they hit a wall, they're at the end of their rope, they feel like they want to give up and die.
01:13:49.000And let me tell you, you know, this is going to sound cliche, but a big help in dealing with this, first off, it's easier to deal with this now because we've had time with Hopper and we've done everything that we could.
01:14:39.000It was a one-legged dog with Lyme disease and alopecia, and people who never liked dogs got to spend time with him, and he was a therapy dog, and he got to sleep in our bed, and we grew up with him, my wife and I, the woman of my youth, and we moved to a new house, and we kept We got the old futon that he loved, and we have so many memories that we're grateful for, and we got Betty, who's going to be on the show more, and they started bonding together, so we were able to sort of pass that torch now to Betty, and after this, we'll probably get another companion for Betty, because Betty does really well with dogs.
01:15:11.000If she had her way, her and Hopper would be playing all day, and then cuddling all day, and Hopper instead had his way, and it was get the hell off me, because he's an old man, and I don't blame him, but looking at it with gratitude, And selflessness, that frames what you have to do.
01:15:26.000That frames the, ah, I can't believe I have to put my, I can't believe my dog is dying.
01:15:31.000That changes because of gratitude to, thank you, Lord, for giving me the time and helping me grow as a person with this sentient being who I do, who I love dearly.
01:15:45.000And looking at it selflessly, serving others is, you know what, as opposed to going, ah, I have to put my dog down, because I've seen people like this.
01:16:11.000Me thinking about myself and spending the last couple of days feeling sorry for myself and weeping.
01:16:17.000And a lot of people don't realize this.
01:16:19.000Pain sometimes can create a very selfish environment.
01:16:22.000Yes, it's okay to feel pain, it's okay to grieve, but to allow it to consume you almost invariably allows it to consume the people around you.
01:16:35.000Regardless of whether you're in pain or not, it is wrong to act that way.
01:16:40.000So if you find yourself in a situation where you maybe feel like it's too much, you're at the end of your rope, you want to give up, you want to lay down, here's what you do.
01:16:51.000And look at your situation and say, what can I be grateful for and how can I serve others?
01:16:56.000Above everything else that I've talked about on this show, if you approach every single scenario, and it's particularly the most painful ones, what am I grateful for and how can I serve?
01:17:10.000It will change the way you live your life.
01:17:14.000And the way that you live your life subsequently will benefit the lives around you.
01:17:20.000So thank you so much for being here with me.