Louder with Crowder - #655 Lazy Late-Night Hosts & LIFE ADVICE: Dealing with Grief | Louder with Crowder

00:00:00.000 So we did Good Morning Mug Club.

00:00:01.000 You can go watch that full show from this morning, but now you get the full evening show.

00:00:05.000 This is available for everyone who's a member of Mug Club, of course, behind the paywall at BlazeTV every week for the month of April, or I guess really March 30th through May 1st.

00:00:14.000 You get all of it because we wanted to get back to you.

00:00:16.000 We know that you're isolated, getting a little bit stir-crazy.

00:00:18.000 So the hashtag is Mug Club Quarantine and In order to continue staying afloat and serving during this time, if you enter in the promo code at louderwithcreditor.com slash mugclub, you enter in the promo code quarantine, get $30 off.

00:00:32.000 Of course, for the schedule, evening and morning shows that are available here on YouTube and Blaze, go to louderwithcreditor.com slash schedule.

00:00:39.000 Subscribe to Crowder Bits, iTunes, podcasts, all that.

00:00:43.000 This is going to be an installment of Life Advice.

00:00:46.000 Enjoy the show.

00:00:48.000 Enjoy the show.

00:00:49.000 This is a test.

00:00:55.000 That's called the Peck Deck Dance. 0.96

00:01:24.000 because we're going to get to life advice in a little bit.

00:01:26.000 Johnny Boy, the guy who works with us, he used to go in high school and put all of the weight on the peck deck to show how strong he was until he tore his peck because he was very ill-advised to use an isolation machine for maximal strength.

00:01:40.000 He still has breast tissue from it.

00:01:42.000 Yeah, just on the one side.

00:01:43.000 Hang it.

00:01:44.000 So in other words, this is really more of a PSA.

00:01:47.000 Don't do this with a lot of weight.

00:01:50.000 Don't be that guy either.

00:01:53.000 This is a continuation, of course, of Mug Club Quarantine. 0.97

00:01:57.000 Shows everywhere. 0.90

00:01:57.000 You can go to ladderwithcarter.com slash schedule. 0.90

00:01:59.000 Promo code quarantine.

00:02:00.000 You get $30 off.

00:02:02.000 How are you, Gerald Morgan Jr.?

00:02:03.000 I'm doing well.

00:02:04.000 Yeah.

00:02:04.000 Are you doing well?

00:02:05.000 Now I am.

00:02:06.000 That's right, you weren't here this morning.

00:02:07.000 Yeah.

00:02:07.000 That's true.

00:02:08.000 And I paid the price, my friend.

00:02:09.000 You did pay the price.

00:02:10.000 Why weren't you here?

00:02:12.000 Really?

00:02:12.000 I wasn't invited.

00:02:13.000 No.

00:02:13.000 You told us you were going to be very busy because you were moving into a new house.

00:02:16.000 Well, that part's true.

00:02:17.000 You're going to be a father, you know, every other excuse in the book.

00:02:20.000 I mean, the business is busier than ever.

00:02:23.000 Quarantine.

00:02:24.000 Stuff like that.

00:02:26.000 He doesn't wash his hair.

00:02:28.000 He follows the Lena Dunham school of thought.

00:02:30.000 Never washes it.

00:02:31.000 Okay.

00:02:32.000 Before we move on, do you have anything else?

00:02:34.000 Anything else we want to get to?

00:02:35.000 No?

00:02:35.000 Tomorrow we have Razorfist on the show, by the way.

00:02:37.000 Hold on.

00:02:40.000 I was talking and I drank water.

00:02:41.000 It went down the wrong pipe.

00:02:42.000 Went down the wrong pipe!

00:02:43.000 B.S.

00:02:44.000 I feel like every time someone coughs, we feel like Glenn Close in Hook.

00:02:47.000 Exactly.

00:02:48.000 Which one of you doubted me?

00:02:52.000 The boo box?

00:02:53.000 No!

00:02:56.000 That was Glenn Close, by the way.

00:02:57.000 Did you know that?

00:02:59.000 She was dating—a lot of people didn't realize that.

00:03:01.000 Go back and watch that in Hook.

00:03:02.000 It's Glenn Close with a beard.

00:03:05.000 Today, that would be anti-trans.

00:03:06.000 You couldn't do that.

00:03:06.000 Ooh, that's true.

00:03:08.000 So I know that you are all very lonely.

00:03:10.000 I get that you guys are a little stir-crazy.

00:03:12.000 So are we.

00:03:13.000 And so we decided to give you more content than ever.

00:03:15.000 Just please do consider signing up at the ripe price of—I think it's like So here's my question of the day.

00:03:22.000 We're going to move on and talk about the whole YouTube landscape and network television landscape.

00:03:25.000 because we're not monetized on YouTube.

00:03:27.000 Quarter black hair is gonna have to take 77 cents in the dollar, but he's a minority, 1.00

00:03:32.000 so we'll take it lying down.

00:03:34.000 I want my reparations.

00:03:35.000 My question, so here's my question of the day.

00:03:37.000 We're going to move on and talk about the whole YouTube landscape and network television landscape.

00:03:42.000 The Corona virus, it's essentially forced all late night hosts now to become YouTubers. 0.97

00:03:46.000 So today in 2020, thanks to Corona, we are all YouTubers.

00:03:51.000 How do you think these hosts stack up?

00:03:53.000 Or you know what? 1.00

00:03:54.000 I know you're just going to say they suck. 0.99

00:03:55.000 So I need a more pointed question. 0.94

00:03:58.000 Specifically, which host do you think stacks up the best without a massive staff and audience, laughter accused?

00:04:04.000 Colbert, Camel, Noah, B, who do you think Silver lining here, silver lining, obviously we're not happy about the coronavirus, no one here is, we're not saying that, but the silver lining is that it has exposed late night hosts and wannabe late night hosts on CNN, on the most trusted name in news.

00:04:28.000 Just for the, I wouldn't say talentless, but the lazy hacks that they are.

00:04:34.000 And that's why we're trying to do things a little bit differently here.

00:04:37.000 We see that all of these folks who have all this staff, all this budget, they're just broadcasting from their bathtub now.

00:04:42.000 They're just broadcasting from home.

00:04:44.000 And we decided, you know what?

00:04:45.000 We can take an acceptable risk.

00:04:46.000 We can come in here.

00:04:47.000 We can quarantine in the office.

00:04:48.000 We can quarantine at home.

00:04:50.000 And try to make sure that you aren't just left out in the cold because Colbert can't find it within him as he shuffles past the 15 million annual salary to find a microphone that he could use to broadcast.

00:05:03.000 They basically have a vacation.

00:05:04.000 No, absolutely not.

00:05:05.000 So let's go right now to see, in case you don't believe me, just how lazy late night has become.

00:05:11.000 To help prevent the spread of COVID-19, I'm now shooting the show with a safe, minimal crew of my husband and the creatures of the forest.

00:05:20.000 Look at this!

00:05:20.000 Hello, everyone, and welcome to Late Night from... It's on NBC.

00:05:24.000 ...my hallway.

00:05:26.000 Welcome to The Tonight Show.

00:05:27.000 I'm so excited to be doing the show from my bathroom.

00:05:29.000 He's not supposed to go to a kindergarten.

00:05:30.000 I mean, living room.

00:05:31.000 Hi!

00:05:32.000 He's the cubby keeper.

00:05:33.000 He has to... Welcome to my bathroom.

00:05:34.000 I'm your host, Stephen Colbert.

00:05:37.000 You're watching a very special social distancing edition of The Late Show, or as I now call it, The Lather Show, with Scrub and Colbert.

00:05:45.000 So I'm doing the show from my house in New York, and this is how crazy New York traffic is.

00:05:49.000 I'm doing the show from my living room, and I was still 20 minutes late getting in.

00:05:54.000 I'm a hallucination brought on by you isolating yourself.

00:05:58.000 Oh, okay. 1.00

00:06:00.000 Hey, man, don't you ever let me catch you prescribing shit in my ward, cuz. 0.99

00:06:06.000 Never funny accidentally. 0.99

00:06:08.000 Never stumbled across funny, Trevor Noah.

00:06:09.000 My first guest tonight, as you can see, is Mr. Bubble, followed by a musical performance by the legendary duo Head & Shoulders.

00:06:19.000 Thanks, guys.

00:06:20.000 I don't like it.

00:06:21.000 Shut it off.

00:06:21.000 I don't want it.

00:06:22.000 And here's something with Trevor Noah.

00:06:24.000 A lot of people don't realize this.

00:06:25.000 People who haven't performed, we've had this struggle quite a bit when people are taking part in sketches here, because a lot of people here aren't actors, and we're kind of fitting them in.

00:06:30.000 That would be me.

00:06:31.000 If they've performed in rooms, for example, or in a green screen room that's supposed to take place outside, where people sort of talk like this, and I go, no, no, listen, people don't see you in a studio in a green screen room.

00:06:39.000 They're going to see you outside in a forest, or they're going to see you in a crowded mall.

00:06:43.000 That's what we're doing with the green screen.

00:06:44.000 So you need to project.

00:06:46.000 You need to project the kind of volume and the kind of intensity that your audience is expecting given that scenario.

00:06:51.000 Because a lot of people get in there and start talking like this.

00:06:53.000 That's what Trevor Noah is doing.

00:06:54.000 He's doing his show as though his wife is mad in the next room.

00:06:57.000 I don't know if he's married.

00:06:58.000 His boyfriend's mad in the next room.

00:07:00.000 He catches him.

00:07:02.000 It's 2020.

00:07:02.000 When you take away the hype, the hundreds of employees, writers, producers, They've got nothing.

00:07:08.000 They can't do it.

00:07:08.000 For a reference point, by the way, while we're talking about this, a single episode of Trevor Noah's show has 21 writers, 14 producers, cast members, technical crew, all that.

00:07:17.000 When you look at the entire staff of a show like Colbert's, you're talking about over 100 people.

00:07:22.000 And the budget these shows have, tens of millions of dollars.

00:07:25.000 Tonight's show alone is $75 million.

00:07:29.000 $75 million.

00:07:30.000 You couldn't find a camera guy who had more than an iPhone and laughs like Jimmy Fallon behind the camera.

00:07:35.000 It's terrible when it's in front of the camera, but behind the camera when it's... It's too late.

00:07:43.000 No! 1.00

00:07:45.000 Shut up! 1.00

00:07:47.000 Stop. 1.00

00:07:48.000 And here's something, too.

00:07:48.000 It's not like this should have caught them off guard, right?

00:07:50.000 I mean, they knew that something like this was coming with the coronavirus out there, and they didn't have a technical team that said, hey, give us half a day.

00:07:57.000 We'll set your house up.

00:07:57.000 They do not respect the audience.

00:07:59.000 This is the issue.

00:08:00.000 I don't think they respect the audience.

00:08:02.000 These hosts make millions.

00:08:03.000 Some of them make over $10 million a year.

00:08:06.000 That's important to note.

00:08:07.000 They could forego half of that salary to have someone set up a remote studio, by the way.

00:08:12.000 This entire office, the people out there in the edit bay, this entire studio, we could do all of that for a fraction of their salary.

00:08:21.000 And it would be much better quality right now.

00:08:23.000 Yes!

00:08:24.000 Wait, ours or theirs?

00:08:25.000 Ours.

00:08:25.000 Ours could always be better.

00:08:27.000 I'm very confused now as to what we're talking about. 0.99

00:08:29.000 The point is, Trevor Noah wouldn't know funny if it swam up and bit him on the ass in Cape Town. 0.99

00:08:35.000 He couldn't be funny if he tried. 0.99

00:08:37.000 I think Colbert's been funny.

00:08:38.000 I think Jimmy Kimmel can be funny.

00:08:40.000 But it is remarkable to me, and I understand this idea of social distancing, but why can they not set up a home studio or at least just get a mic?

00:08:48.000 A mic.

00:08:49.000 Get a Yeti mic, Seth Meyers!

00:08:52.000 The closest thing we have in Late Night is Hurricane Sandy that pushed through and they recorded to basically empty audiences for a couple of nights.

00:08:59.000 I think Jimmy Fallon did, Dave Letterman did.

00:09:02.000 Dave Letterman did a show that was basically much more just sort of interactive between him and Paul, basically making fun of the fact that there was no audience there.

00:09:10.000 It was funny that the jokes fell flat and he was like, basically, it's like, you know, shame there aren't 500 people here to listen to this quality television.

00:09:16.000 Exactly.

00:09:17.000 That's the way to do it, but they're hyping it up and acting as if there's this huge audience. 0.99

00:09:22.000 You're not addressing the elephant in the room, which is an elephant with a sign on it that says, your show sucks. 0.96

00:09:29.000 It's an elephant walking by with a sign behind Colbert that says, watch Tiger King! 0.99

00:09:35.000 Turn this off! 0.85

00:09:36.000 And here's an important note, too, because I'm kind of joking about it, but we're all YouTubers.

00:09:41.000 They don't stack up well.

00:09:42.000 They're not doing well.

00:09:43.000 Their views aren't good.

00:09:44.000 When you remove the paid views, it's even less.

00:09:46.000 When you remove the algorithms which favor them because they're advertiser-friendly, it's even less.

00:09:52.000 One thing we also know about Trevor Noah, horrible, horrible design.

00:09:55.000 Horrible decor.

00:09:57.000 What is that?

00:09:57.000 Is it modern?

00:09:59.000 Is it contemporary?

00:10:00.000 I don't know, but he has a pube stash. 0.82

00:10:02.000 I guess he's not gay. 0.98

00:10:03.000 I have no idea.

00:10:05.000 He could just be the man in the couple. 0.97

00:10:09.000 He could just be gay. 0.72

00:10:10.000 Why are you so prejudiced? 0.99

00:10:12.000 Not all gays are good at design. 1.00

00:10:13.000 That's a positive thing. 0.99

00:10:14.000 That's like assuming that an uncharacteristically high number of them get AIDS, except less accurate.

00:10:20.000 So this is why when you look at NBC, the parent companies, NBC, ABC, CBS, NBC, Vox, Universal, then ABC is Disney.

00:10:31.000 Gosh, we've been in lawsuits with all of these companies.

00:10:34.000 All of them!

00:10:34.000 Every single one!

00:10:35.000 He's naming your lawsuits.

00:10:36.000 My half-Asian lawyer is in digital court right now.

00:10:39.000 They're all trying to squeeze YouTube and Google, right?

00:10:42.000 Trying to get them to favor these shows because I think they know that they don't have the stuff to compete.

00:10:48.000 That's why they want to force shows like this out. 0.90

00:10:51.000 Not just shows like this, but there are plenty.

00:10:53.000 Take examples like PewDiePie.

00:10:54.000 Take examples of whoever.

00:10:55.000 They turn on a camera and start live streaming video games.

00:10:58.000 And I think there's a race to the middle, right? 0.51

00:11:00.000 There's a split the difference with some pre-produced content, some decent budget, but also, hopefully, talent.

00:11:06.000 Now, by the way, hit the notification bell if you are not joining Mug Club.

00:11:10.000 Of course, Mug Club quarantine is the promo code for the month.

00:11:14.000 But hit the notification bell.

00:11:15.000 Hit all notifications because subscriptions don't mean a whole lot.

00:11:17.000 And do subscribe to Crowder Bits because that will be uploading a lot of content.

00:11:21.000 A lot of extra stuff over there.

00:11:22.000 This month.

00:11:23.000 Here's something else that I think it's really showcased.

00:11:25.000 Not only how unfunny they are.

00:11:26.000 I mean, I don't think we need a coronavirus to pull back the curtain on Samantha V. It's not a big reveal.

00:11:32.000 No, I don't think so.

00:11:33.000 If anything, for her, it's an improvement.

00:11:34.000 Yeah.

00:11:35.000 It's the best show she's done in a while.

00:11:36.000 Well, because no one's watching, is what I'm saying.

00:11:38.000 It's an improvement because if a horribly unfunny diversity hire screams alone in a forest... So, as their production value has gone down, and they don't respect their audience, We adore you. 0.98

00:11:50.000 We genuinely do.

00:11:51.000 We are so grateful.

00:11:53.000 They've also become lazier, and this is a civil lining, in hiding their political bias.

00:11:57.000 So Kimmel had former presidential candidate Pete Buttigieg on to host his show initially when they were concerned about the Chinese virus.

00:12:06.000 Here you go.

00:12:06.000 Now this is a strange night for us, not only because this is my first time hosting a talk show, because we're doing it without a regular studio audience.

00:12:14.000 Due to public health concerns over the coronavirus, we've cancelled the studio audience tonight.

00:12:19.000 Let's do this together.

00:12:20.000 Who's with me?

00:12:24.000 Here's his big joke, watch.

00:12:28.000 Full disclosure, none of those people are here.

00:12:31.000 But when you don't have a real audience, you have to fake one.

00:12:34.000 Just like Trump's inauguration.

00:12:39.000 Big toothy smile. 0.98

00:12:40.000 Screw you, Pete. 1.00

00:12:42.000 Screw you hard. 1.00

00:12:44.000 Screw you hard with someone else's pecker is my point. 1.00

00:12:46.000 I want nothing to do with you. 0.99

00:12:49.000 Not anyone here.

00:12:50.000 It is so bad.

00:12:51.000 But think about this.

00:12:53.000 Why would you have Pete Buttgig on if not for the fact... They're just trying to push a political agenda right now.

00:12:58.000 They used to try and obfuscate a little bit.

00:13:00.000 No, no, no.

00:13:00.000 We're just going for comedy.

00:13:02.000 Really?

00:13:02.000 Okay.

00:13:03.000 So you're a late night show and you're just chasing comedy and you thought Sub-host Pete Buttigieg.

00:13:10.000 That is like, we used to know like stand-up comics in the road who would have the most horrible opener just to guarantee job security.

00:13:16.000 Either that is what's going on, or Jimmy Kimmel actually thinks Pete Buttigieg is funny.

00:13:21.000 Or he's pushing a political agenda.

00:13:23.000 You decide which one is more offensive.

00:13:26.000 None of them are good.

00:13:28.000 None of them are good options.

00:13:29.000 And now here you go.

00:13:30.000 Is this another Kimmel?

00:13:31.000 Yeah, that's right.

00:13:32.000 He's been interviewing people from his home.

00:13:34.000 And here you go.

00:13:34.000 He is again at one point just trying to say, well, it's not about left or right.

00:13:37.000 It's about being a human as he cries about Cecil the Lion.

00:13:40.000 Now he's basically been helping Biden tape awkward campaign commercials.

00:13:44.000 That's what it's become.

00:13:45.000 Joe Biden.

00:13:47.000 What's that hat you have on?

00:13:49.000 New York Mets.

00:13:50.000 It's supposed to be opening day.

00:13:54.000 Opening day.

00:13:55.000 That was like the Saw character.

00:14:00.000 I'll tell you what, but it's a way to be able to sleep with my wife. 1.00

00:14:03.000 She's a Philly girl.

00:14:07.000 She likes the hat.

00:14:09.000 Do you think Trump will debate you or do you think he will try to dodge that?

00:14:14.000 I don't know.

00:14:15.000 I hope we debate.

00:14:16.000 I'm looking forward to that.

00:14:17.000 I don't think you are, Joe.

00:14:19.000 I don't think you and your plucked-off-a-cheshire-cat-alarm-clock mouthpiece really want to debate Donald Trump.

00:14:26.000 It is remarkable to me.

00:14:27.000 It's like a cartoon.

00:14:28.000 By the way, that's what I get if I want to sleep with my wife. 1.00

00:14:30.000 She's a nine-year-old Philly girl.

00:14:31.000 I mean, she's a girl.

00:14:32.000 She's a girl from Philly.

00:14:33.000 What happened?

00:14:33.000 What?

00:14:34.000 Why'd I stop?

00:14:36.000 Again.

00:14:37.000 It is remarkable to me that in all this... I mean, why don't they have Donald Trump on?

00:14:42.000 They could have had a lot of people.

00:14:43.000 I don't care if they're chasing the funny.

00:14:45.000 I don't care.

00:14:46.000 But listen, can we be honest here?

00:14:48.000 Whether you agree with President Trump or not, by every available metric, it's going to be a funnier show with Donald Trump than it's going to be with Joe Biden.

00:14:57.000 If you agree with him or if you don't, he's way funnier than him.

00:14:59.000 It's going to be funnier.

00:15:00.000 Well, and I get, like, these guys are doing something that's a little bit different from what they're used to, right?

00:15:04.000 And basically, they're saying that we're the best, but they have all the budget, they have all the staffers.

00:15:08.000 You take away all of that, and you find out they're not the best.

00:15:10.000 Do they need some reps to get there? 0.89

00:15:11.000 Because it seems like they have no sense of timing, they have no sense of what's funny and what's not, when there's nobody in the room.

00:15:16.000 Like, do you think this will get better if it goes on?

00:15:19.000 Or will it just continue to reveal how bad they are?

00:15:20.000 No, I don't think it'll get better.

00:15:21.000 I think that they really believe this is sort of a gimmick.

00:15:23.000 Like, it's like they just discovered raw content.

00:15:27.000 Like the podcast is new to them.

00:15:29.000 Look, I never even just watched an old rerun of Dick Cavett.

00:15:32.000 Like, this is new.

00:15:33.000 It's raw.

00:15:33.000 It's what the people want.

00:15:35.000 It's what the people want if it's conversational with someone interesting.

00:15:39.000 This is another problem with every time Dick and Harry has a podcast.

00:15:41.000 Like, man, we just let the mics, and we just talk.

00:15:44.000 OK, but there should be a selection process before that. 0.63

00:15:48.000 I don't think that there should be gatekeepers in media, because we've talked about this.

00:15:52.000 Of course, I'd never be able to host on any main network, and of course, conservatives just told me for a long time that conservatives don't like comedy.

00:15:58.000 So we started doing this show, and thank God we found you, and we are supported not by a foreign caliphate, but you with the mugs.

00:16:04.000 Promo code quarantine, $30 off.

00:16:06.000 So I don't know.

00:16:07.000 I have no idea how, if they're able to accurately assess their capabilities, or if they think this is good.

00:16:15.000 I don't know how they could think this is good.

00:16:16.000 I mean, maybe do it once like that, and it's like, okay, it's raw, it's funny, but then get better.

00:16:20.000 And if you don't get better, you've gotta go, okay, we just can't do this.

00:16:23.000 John Danaher once said, it's hard to get out of bed at six in the morning when you're sleeping in silk sheets.

00:16:30.000 And I don't think their silk sheets are going with Jimmy Kimmel.

00:16:32.000 It could be rubber sheets.

00:16:33.000 I don't know.

00:16:33.000 But I don't think they have the motivation because they've been surrounded by sycophants their whole lives, or at least for the last decade.

00:16:40.000 Yeah, well, and they all act as if it's this clever, interesting take on things, but everybody's doing the same thing.

00:16:45.000 It's called the Internet.

00:16:47.000 Yeah, they're all broadcasting from their phones or holding up their laptops, walking around their house.

00:16:51.000 And yeah, so again, they act as if this is some discovery that they've made.

00:16:56.000 Right.

00:16:57.000 And something else, too, let's go to.

00:16:58.000 He's not a late night host, but you know he wants to be.

00:17:02.000 That's right.

00:17:02.000 I feel like a carnival barker guessing someone's weight, because it's always different every broadcast.

00:17:08.000 With Brian Stelter, here he is having Stephen King on with the chyron when real life is even scarier than fiction.

00:17:15.000 Let's watch this.

00:17:16.000 Stephen, thank you for being here.

00:17:18.000 I wonder what you say about an experience where we might be living through something scarier than fiction.

00:17:24.000 Well, actually, I did imagine it.

00:17:29.000 I've heard a lot about that.

00:17:34.000 It's three or four weeks, people are saying to me, we're living in a Stephen King world and all I can say is, boy, I wish we weren't.

00:17:42.000 Really?

00:17:42.000 This is a Stephen- Hold on a second.

00:17:43.000 This is a Stephen King world and truth is stranger than fiction.

00:17:46.000 We're talking about a virus that is, at this point, at the point of this recording, nowhere near the magnitude of a rough flu season. 0.99

00:17:54.000 You had a film with a rapist clown! 0.99

00:17:57.000 That's true. 0.99

00:18:00.000 And the stand where 99% of humanity dies.

00:18:02.000 There are like 300 people left.

00:18:04.000 We're equating that with the sniffles?

00:18:06.000 And the reason they are is because they want to blame it on Donald Trump.

00:18:08.000 They want to act as though, well this is actually worse than the stand.

00:18:11.000 This is actually worse than it.

00:18:12.000 That's right, that's what it was called.

00:18:14.000 This is worse than it, because it's Donald Trump's fault.

00:18:17.000 No mention of China, by the way.

00:18:18.000 If Stephen King wants to talk about some sinister plot, some world order, some global conspiracy, how about the people who lied about the virus in the first place and killed the guy who tried to blow the whistle?

00:18:30.000 Couldn't that deserve a few pages in there?

00:18:33.000 Couldn't you include it in the foreword?

00:18:35.000 Stephen King?

00:18:36.000 Somewhere?

00:18:38.000 He writes them as he goes.

00:18:39.000 That's right, he writes them as he goes, and he doesn't know how they end, which is why he's done nothing good outside of the Shawshank Redemption and potentially the Green Mile.

00:18:45.000 Prison, really, that's where he belongs.

00:18:47.000 Stephen King is prison.

00:18:49.000 Send him to prison, and we'll get another good Stephen King novel.

00:18:54.000 That's not too much to ask.

00:18:55.000 Well, listen, we've thrown out rule of law.

00:18:57.000 We've thrown out individual rights and freedoms right now because everyone wants to give it up because of a cough at this point with a mortality rate of under 1%.

00:19:05.000 So, you know what?

00:19:07.000 Why don't we just give Stephen King the Dinesh D'Souza treatment?

00:19:10.000 Put him in a federal prison.

00:19:11.000 I mean, all Dinesh did was give $5,000, $10,000 to a friend's senatorial or congressional campaign who didn't even win anyway.

00:19:17.000 Let's just send Stephen King to prison.

00:19:18.000 I bet you he'll come up with a Shawshank 2. 1.00

00:19:20.000 Which, by the way, May not be as derivative as the original Shawshank as it relates to Escape from Alcatraz.

00:19:24.000 It was the same film!

00:19:26.000 It was better done, but it was the same film!

00:19:28.000 Going through the wall, emptying the little concrete, the plaster, through the hole in the pockets, a white guy and a black guy. 0.75

00:19:35.000 It was Escape from Alcatraz.

00:19:37.000 That's what Shawshank Redemption was.

00:19:40.000 That being said, I liked it.

00:19:42.000 I didn't like it or it too.

00:19:45.000 How long have you been holding on to that?

00:19:47.000 I haven't been holding on to a whole lot, but when I see him looking like an angry lesbian salon artist, it makes me... It just brings it out of you. 0.65

00:19:54.000 And this is... He did look partly dead in that scene.

00:19:57.000 I'm sorry.

00:19:58.000 He had that, like, grayed over everything, so... He's always that way.

00:20:00.000 He just looked bizarre.

00:20:02.000 He looked like every... I knew... When I would know angry middle-aged French-Canadian lesbians, they all had that gray hair with kind of the bangs that came over, like, here, like the little colic. 1.00

00:20:10.000 And it should be noted, too, that he's very feminine.

00:20:13.000 That's true.

00:20:14.000 He's very feminine, but in all the bad ways. 0.98

00:20:16.000 He's not voluptuous.

00:20:18.000 He's not mysterious.

00:20:19.000 He's not attractive. 0.83

00:20:20.000 He's just naggy and curt. 1.00

00:20:25.000 No redeeming qualities whatsoever.

00:20:26.000 Who do you think stacks up the best out of all these shows?

00:20:29.000 I want you to tune in for a little bit.

00:20:30.000 I'm sorry, just a little bit.

00:20:30.000 Flip through CNN, Fox News, ABC, NBC, CBS, all the late night shows, and tell me who you think is doing the best job adapting right now.

00:20:38.000 This is important because it's not the strongest animal that survives.

00:20:41.000 It's the animal who can most effectively adapt.

00:20:44.000 And we've consistently tried to do that and be ahead of the curve, not because we're afraid of going away, but because we really do live to serve you guys.

00:20:51.000 We always think, hey, listen, we have been supported from the ground up from viewers.

00:20:55.000 You have created this show.

00:20:56.000 We weren't thrust upon you by a network who decided to put us on a time slot that people were watching anyway.

00:21:01.000 And so we've had to earn our keep.

00:21:03.000 We've had to earn your viewership.

00:21:05.000 These people don't. 0.54

00:21:06.000 Now you see how lazy they are.

00:21:08.000 And that's why, of course, we're offering this month, the whole month, It's free Mug Club month.

00:21:13.000 Hashtag Mug Club Quarantine.

00:21:15.000 We're doing Monday through Thursday evening shows available on YouTube in front of the paywall.

00:21:19.000 We're adding three shows a week.

00:21:20.000 You can go to livewithcreditor.com, schedule every Monday, Wednesday, Friday.

00:21:24.000 The whole month of April, 10 a.m.

00:21:25.000 Eastern, and Crowder Bits, Apple.

00:21:28.000 We are trying to give you as much content as possible, and I appreciate a lot of you saying, you know, look out for your health.

00:21:34.000 I am treating it like two-a-days.

00:21:35.000 I am sleeping right, I am eating right, and I'm very, very unhappy, but as long...

00:21:40.000 As I am serving you, because all you have... The reason we're doing this is because I watch Late Night religiously.

00:21:46.000 I have to.

00:21:48.000 You don't know how dark it's inside my head sometime, okay?

00:21:52.000 And so because of that, I was going, this is all everyone has out there?

00:21:56.000 We have to give them more.

00:21:58.000 And so we're going to give you everything we have this month because I know a lot of you are out of work.

00:22:03.000 I know a lot of you run businesses that may not open up again anytime soon.

00:22:08.000 And so if I have to work 12, 14, 16 hour days for a month, you know what?

00:22:12.000 I'll take it if it helps you guys.

00:22:14.000 And then I'll have a long weekend.

00:22:15.000 It is Mug Club Quarantine, promo code quarantine, $30 off.

00:22:18.000 These people are really bad.

00:22:19.000 Let's go to Life Advice, where we can help some other people.

00:22:21.000 My knee hurts.

00:22:22.000 Please.

00:22:26.000 Tough Love! 1.00

00:22:28.000 With Guru Crowder.

00:22:31.000 Yes.

00:22:31.000 I am glad to be with you as I was just before that.

00:22:35.000 I'm not.

00:22:37.000 Glad to be back.

00:22:38.000 No.

00:22:41.000 Um. 1.00

00:22:43.000 I am not a doctor, because screw them. 0.99

00:22:46.000 Honestly. 0.99

00:22:47.000 I'm a guru.

00:22:48.000 That being said, if you need a doctor for whatever reason, if you are thinking of anything, any kind of help that would require the help of a medical professional, of course I am not qualified to dispense that sort of advice or prescriptions.

00:23:01.000 So stop asking.

00:23:02.000 Yeah, stop asking.

00:23:03.000 We can't handle it.

00:23:04.000 I can't get you the Xannies. 1.00

00:23:08.000 Or the Perkies.

00:23:09.000 No one says Perkies anymore.

00:23:11.000 Is that old?

00:23:12.000 It's called Perks.

00:23:13.000 Perks?

00:23:13.000 Perks.

00:23:14.000 I don't have any of the Xannies or Perks. 1.00

00:23:16.000 Or Ludes.

00:23:17.000 Or any of the Oxen.

00:23:18.000 They don't even make those.

00:23:19.000 I'm kidding.

00:23:20.000 I don't have any Oxen.

00:23:23.000 Pretty much, as far as all of the beasts of burden, I am fresh out.

00:23:29.000 I do appreciate that someone wrote, Sincerely, Mug Club member.

00:23:40.000 Thank you, because that's all that matters.

00:23:44.000 I recently had a family event, and my mother-in-law fell and severely hurt herself.

00:23:53.000 We all had the immediate same thought.

00:23:55.000 Like, only if it's funny when it starts broken bone and torn ligaments.

00:23:58.000 But see, that doesn't necessarily negate the funniness.

00:24:01.000 Someone can be hurt and you only see it afterwards.

00:24:04.000 It's true.

00:24:05.000 This happened to my mom. 0.82

00:24:06.000 Really?

00:24:06.000 Well, she at my house and broke herself.

00:24:09.000 Was it funny when it happened?

00:24:10.000 Well, we were not laughing.

00:24:12.000 Okay.

00:24:13.000 She did afterwards, though.

00:24:14.000 She did afterwards.

00:24:15.000 And then realized she broke her knee.

00:24:17.000 Whoops.

00:24:18.000 Is she okay?

00:24:18.000 Yeah, she had surgery.

00:24:19.000 What kind of surgery did she have? 1.00

00:24:21.000 I don't know.

00:24:21.000 There's something, it was like a... Knee surgery.

00:24:25.000 He wins.

00:24:26.000 She had a lobotomy. 1.00

00:24:27.000 Exactly.

00:24:29.000 Hey mom, what kind of surgery did you have?

00:24:30.000 She just turns around and she has an ear in her nose. 1.00

00:24:31.000 I don't know.

00:24:33.000 Oh gosh.

00:24:34.000 Go back! 0.55

00:24:36.000 Control Z! 0.92

00:24:38.000 Alright.

00:24:40.000 She told everyone that she fell while leaning to pick up my child, knocking my child over in the process.

00:24:50.000 However, another relative from my side of the family witnessed her fall and said she was holding my child, who was 11 months old.

00:24:55.000 My mother-in-law is 300 pounds and is not allowed to watch my children. 1.00

00:24:59.000 After two years of safety issues, poor discipline, and a general disrespect for my husband and me as parents, my relative does not know any of this and has no reason to lie.

00:25:07.000 She brought me my crying child and did say that my mother-in-law fell on my child immediately after the incident.

00:25:14.000 I am unsure if there was another witness to the incident and do not want to bring this to everyone's attention because I have not told my husband.

00:25:21.000 Do I bring this to his attention or just let it go?

00:25:24.000 Her holding my child explains how she injured herself so badly.

00:25:28.000 But do I gain anything by bringing this to light or will it just upset my husband?

00:25:32.000 Keep in mind she guilt trips him all the time about not being allowed to watch her kids.

00:25:35.000 Blames the decision entirely on me.

00:25:36.000 We made the decision together and held off because we knew the blowout would be enormous.

00:25:42.000 Did not take any responsibility for her behavior and decisions.

00:25:45.000 She has literally said I don't know why she doesn't want me to watch them and has yet to address any of her grievances with me.

00:25:51.000 This incident does not help her cause.

00:25:54.000 Okay.

00:25:55.000 Wow.

00:25:56.000 So it sounds to me like it was funny.

00:26:00.000 So that's the bottom line here.

00:26:01.000 There was humor.

00:26:03.000 I will say that this one is, it's not easy to execute. 1.00

00:26:07.000 Kill your mother-in-law. 0.99

00:26:11.000 It's not easy to live out, but it's an easy solution. 1.00

00:26:14.000 Kids come first. 0.99

00:26:15.000 Yeah.

00:26:16.000 Kids come first. 0.99

00:26:17.000 And negligence can still be abuse.

00:26:23.000 Yeah.

00:26:23.000 In this case.

00:26:24.000 Or even neglect, let's take it another step further, can be abuse.

00:26:28.000 Ignorance can be a form of abuse.

00:26:30.000 So intent doesn't really matter here if your mother is a danger to people.

00:26:35.000 Yeah.

00:26:36.000 And I would just explain that to her, if she's a danger to people.

00:26:39.000 Mother-in-law.

00:26:40.000 Mother-in-law, sorry.

00:26:40.000 I would just explain if she's a danger to your children, she can't be around your children.

00:26:45.000 Or, you know what, maybe split the difference, and she can hold your kids if you're supervising. 1.00

00:26:50.000 Cause that is something important to her.

00:26:51.000 She does want to have, and maybe if she has a problem with you and your husband, um, she may not have a problem with your kids and she could be a great grandma. 1.00

00:26:57.000 I've known people like that.

00:26:58.000 So safety first, I wouldn't leave her in a room unsupervised with your kids.

00:27:03.000 Just like, by the way, never leave a kid you, a kid with a dog you don't know unsupervised in a room.

00:27:08.000 Right.

00:27:08.000 Some people think, like, oh, my kid gets along with my dog.

00:27:10.000 That's true.

00:27:10.000 But I see parents do this all the time.

00:27:12.000 Some people do it, too.

00:27:13.000 They've done it with Betty.

00:27:14.000 They did it with Hopper.

00:27:15.000 Thank God that, obviously, they're fine.

00:27:18.000 But that being said, I would sit there and go, like, I cannot imagine this.

00:27:21.000 I cannot imagine being a parent and leaving my child with a dog that I don't know that well, especially a dog the size of Hopper or Betty.

00:27:27.000 So I'm consistently amazed sometimes at some of the decisions that parents make that my parents were very clear on.

00:27:32.000 Like, I always knew that my safety came first.

00:27:34.000 Yeah.

00:27:34.000 That's what comes first with your mother-in-law.

00:27:37.000 I don't know.

00:27:37.000 It's going to be hard.

00:27:38.000 She's not going to like it, but I would be as straightforward as possible.

00:27:41.000 You absolutely have to bring this to your husband's attention because your mom fell on your kid. 1.00

00:27:45.000 For sure.

00:27:47.000 I mean, it's a tricky situation in the execution of making sure I know.

00:27:51.000 Of the mom.

00:27:53.000 Of making sure that this takes place.

00:27:56.000 So the answer is absolutely true.

00:27:58.000 You have to take the kid's safety first.

00:28:00.000 But then the next part comes.

00:28:01.000 If she's blaming you for this, that means your husband has got to do a better job of communicating with his mom.

00:28:08.000 This is not my wife being mean or cruel. 0.99

00:28:11.000 This is us saying that this is a dangerous situation.

00:28:14.000 Mom, your son, me.

00:28:16.000 I am saying I don't want you watching our kids by yourself because.

00:28:20.000 We love you, we want you to be around the kids, but these are unsafe situations and unless we can mitigate those, we can't do this.

00:28:25.000 There has to be a very adult conversation.

00:28:27.000 It seems like he needs to step in the way a little more and make sure that she's not being blamed.

00:28:31.000 Like, well that evil wife of yours is just not wanting me to see the kids. 1.00

00:28:34.000 That's what it feels like from what she said.

00:28:36.000 Yeah.

00:28:36.000 So I think he needs to do a better job of getting in the way of that.

00:28:38.000 I also, this is just a personal belief, I think that a lot of folks in family, see it as just sort of a rite of passage.

00:28:44.000 Like, well I'm a grandparent now, therefore I get to do X, Y, Z. Whatever I want to.

00:28:49.000 No, you don't.

00:28:50.000 You don't.

00:28:50.000 You still need to be looking out for the safety of the child and the parents still have the right to make those calls for the same reason if you're a heroin addict and you're a grandparent, you don't get to be in the children's life.

00:28:59.000 Sometimes the parents have different standards than you do.

00:29:01.000 Sometimes the parents want to raise your children differently than you do.

00:29:03.000 That is their, whether it's right or wrong, and in this case I'm not saying that the parents are wrong, but sometimes they can be wrong, that still is their right and you have to make do as a grandparent.

00:29:13.000 Or give up being with the grandkids.

00:29:15.000 Right!

00:29:15.000 You know, you've got choices there.

00:29:17.000 Yeah, sometimes people just think, well, I'm a grandparent, therefore, no.

00:29:19.000 Kids should obviously respect all of their elders, including their grandparents.

00:29:22.000 It's not the child's job to keep you in line at all.

00:29:25.000 Okay, let's be clear about that.

00:29:26.000 But it is the parent's job to set boundaries and let you know what is and what is not okay.

00:29:31.000 And in this scenario, not knowing all of the history, I mean, this is a physical danger to your child.

00:29:37.000 Yeah, 300 plus pounds and having issues with falling and this isn't the first time and all that, I wouldn't do it.

00:29:43.000 Now that being said, you also have to be objective.

00:29:46.000 If this is a 300 pound woman who wants to hold your baby while she's sitting and you're in the room, if you're not comfortable with it, that's no longer a safety issue because if she's sitting, she has good base, okay? 1.00

00:29:57.000 She's not, she's, it's no longer a physical danger.

00:30:00.000 Three points of contact at least.

00:30:01.000 So you need to be consistent.

00:30:03.000 You need to be consistent in how you communicate.

00:30:04.000 In other words, you can't say, like, well, it's a safety issue.

00:30:07.000 She goes, well, fine.

00:30:08.000 I'll sit down and I'll put the baby in a brace.

00:30:09.000 And you're like, well, no.

00:30:10.000 She's like, well, she's going to try and corner you. 0.98

00:30:13.000 Say what you mean and be consistent.

00:30:15.000 Decide what the rules are, draw the boundaries, and make sure you stick with them.

00:30:21.000 But being less than straightforward isn't going to help because it's just going to create more miscommunication down the line.

00:30:26.000 Yeah, absolutely.

00:30:27.000 All right.

00:30:28.000 Next one, here we go.

00:30:30.000 Dear Guru Crowder, Audio Wade, Gerald, and Quarter Black. 0.99

00:30:34.000 In parentheses though.

00:30:36.000 I mean, I'm not even sure what that means.

00:30:38.000 I don't know.

00:30:39.000 I know exactly what it means.

00:30:40.000 I don't.

00:30:41.000 It might as well be a less than.

00:30:44.000 I don't know what that is, sir.

00:30:46.000 I lost my dad at a fairly young age.

00:30:48.000 I was 20, my dad was 50.

00:30:49.000 Talking to him has always given me peace.

00:30:52.000 Is that a bad thing?

00:30:54.000 To him is in quotes, I'm not sure what that means.

00:30:57.000 He is the best friend I ever had.

00:30:58.000 Is there a chance you all can really expand on the spiritual aspect of things?

00:31:03.000 My father was cremated, unfortunately.

00:31:04.000 That's a totally different family issue, but his ashes stay on my nightstand.

00:31:07.000 I am nearing 30, have three children, and nobody seems to be able to accept, acknowledge, Or be able to help me move on during my darkest days.

00:31:14.000 I often feel like I'm dying without him to be with him.

00:31:18.000 P.S.

00:31:19.000 Give Betty cheese, please. 1.00

00:31:21.000 That happens.

00:31:21.000 Betty doesn't love the cheese as much as Hopper.

00:31:24.000 And she's also learned a lot.

00:31:26.000 Thank you very much!

00:31:27.000 I think as well.

00:31:28.000 So, anyway.

00:31:30.000 That's tough when you lose a parent.

00:31:31.000 Yeah, I'm sorry to hear that.

00:31:32.000 Yeah, absolutely.

00:31:33.000 It's a really difficult process.

00:31:35.000 I think it's been almost a decade since that, based on some of the stuff that I saw in the letter that I didn't read, I think it's almost about a decade since that happened.

00:31:42.000 I don't know that you ever fully recover, but you obviously move closer and closer to getting some kind of normal, maybe a little bit of a new normal.

00:31:50.000 As far as talking to your dad as though he's still present and in the room, there are a lot of times where I think they can be very helpful to to think like that.

00:32:00.000 But then I also think that there are some times where that can be somewhat detrimental.

00:32:04.000 It keeps you focused on maybe the past a little bit more and not really living in the present

00:32:07.000 and being as present of a parent.

00:32:10.000 You have three children, right?

00:32:12.000 To be, you are that person to them only in the mother role.

00:32:15.000 And so I think sometimes it can be a little bit detrimental to hang on to those things.

00:32:20.000 There's a period of mourning that we have to go through and a period at which we kind of have to move on.

00:32:25.000 And that's where you get a lot of that healing from when you move on into the normal things of life without forgetting the past and without rejecting it, but putting it in its proper place and saying, I'm honoring the memory of this person.

00:32:36.000 I remember them fondly.

00:32:37.000 I think about them.

00:32:38.000 And when I do, it's good memories.

00:32:39.000 But I'm also sowing into the now.

00:32:41.000 I'm sowing into my children and the situations that I'm in and the friendships that I have.

00:32:44.000 So if it ever gets in the way of that and keeps you from moving on, especially you said you have some really, really dark times, I think it would be helpful to continue through the rest of the process and not stay where you are in the process.

00:32:56.000 But that's just my take on it.

00:32:58.000 Well, it depends.

00:33:00.000 Talking to him as though he's still... I mean, I want to be clear as far as the spiritual side of it.

00:33:05.000 Your dad can't hear you.

00:33:08.000 I don't know if anyone here disagrees with me on that, spiritually.

00:33:14.000 What do you think, Wade?

00:33:16.000 I don't think he's busy listening to every word you're saying.

00:33:20.000 Yeah, I don't know that there's any scripture that tells me that people that we are family members with can hear and see what's going on in our lives.

00:33:25.000 I don't believe that that's true.

00:33:26.000 And there's a lot that would say otherwise.

00:33:31.000 Well, I know they can't come back in a spiritual way.

00:33:32.000 You can't call them back.

00:33:33.000 You can't communicate with the dead or anything like that.

00:33:35.000 As far as what kind of view you have from the mezzanine up there on what's going on down here, I have no idea, but I'm assuming it's not that your focus is on earth.

00:33:43.000 You're in heaven.

00:33:44.000 That's a great focus to have up there.

00:33:45.000 I don't, yeah, as far as from a spiritual basis, I see a lot to not only suggest but flat out tell you, as a Christian, that you cannot communicate with anyone who is dead.

00:33:55.000 No.

00:33:55.000 Period.

00:33:57.000 And a matter of fact, I see a lot of prescriptions that are pretty clear, don't do that.

00:34:01.000 It doesn't say don't do that except for a dead relative, it says don't do that.

00:34:04.000 Period.

00:34:06.000 And here's what I will say, though.

00:34:07.000 A lot of people say that, and I'm like, oh man, and it hurts them.

00:34:09.000 Let me be really clear.

00:34:11.000 Do you really think, and this is, I understand where you're coming from to a degree.

00:34:16.000 I still have both my parents, but I watched my mom lose both of her parents in the span of a year.

00:34:22.000 And I was very close.

00:34:23.000 So to give you an idea, actually, I grew up so close to my grandfather.

00:34:26.000 It's actually not as far from the back of this building to the front of this building right here where I grew up from my grandfather.

00:34:31.000 Yeah.

00:34:32.000 So I stayed there all the time.

00:34:33.000 I was with my grandfather.

00:34:34.000 When people say a second father, I don't think there would have been more than two days that went by that I didn't see my grandfather for significant amounts of time every day.

00:34:43.000 He was my favorite person.

00:34:45.000 Well not the same thing.

00:34:46.000 That being said, I do think there's a component of this.

00:34:49.000 Listen, you have children.

00:34:52.000 You want them to feel this longingly about you when you go away.

00:34:55.000 You need to focus on your children.

00:34:56.000 You need to move on for your children.

00:34:57.000 You need to move on for your husband. 1.00

00:34:58.000 You need to move on for your family.

00:35:00.000 And when you remove the, and I say this respectfully, the selfish part of the equation, It's a good thing that your dad can't hear you, sweetheart.

00:35:08.000 I mean that.

00:35:09.000 It's a good thing.

00:35:10.000 You don't want your dad looking down right now and seeing you in this much pain.

00:35:13.000 What could possibly be more torturous for your dead father than looking down and seeing you miserable, unable to do anything because he can't communicate with you?

00:35:22.000 It may make you feel better, but that would be horrible.

00:35:25.000 That would be like ripping the heart out of your dad's chest.

00:35:29.000 So thank Christ, and I mean thank Christ, in that he is very clear that you cannot communicate to the dead, and that when you get to heaven, you are not longing for anything of this world.

00:35:40.000 And here's the thing, that's a good thing.

00:35:41.000 That's a good thing that that's the case, because guess what?

00:35:44.000 As soon as your dad crossed over through those pearly gates, whether figurative or literal, If he were to long for anything of this world, it would be you.

00:35:53.000 Because I'm sure that he loved you just like you love him.

00:35:55.000 But he doesn't.

00:35:56.000 Right now, he is completely fulfilled and at peace, which I know is much harder for you, but it's not hard for your dad.

00:36:03.000 So spiritually, your dad can't hear you.

00:36:05.000 Your dad is not, and thank God, your dad is not having all of this sort of offloaded onto him, all of your emotions, because you're still dealing with the fleshly pain and the earthly concerns and desires and turmoil that really, he's long since left behind something else, too.

00:36:19.000 There's a strong case to be made, and I had a pastor talk about this.

00:36:22.000 I don't have the verses in front of me.

00:36:23.000 In heaven, there isn't the same concept of time that we have here.

00:36:26.000 So as far as your dad is concerned, you're walking through those gates at the same time.

00:36:30.000 Together.

00:36:31.000 Yeah.

00:36:32.000 Yeah, it's a very strong case.

00:36:33.000 Yeah, on a spiritual basis, I feel it's one of those things where people, listen, I know I'm gonna sound like a hippie,

00:36:38.000 but open your mind.

00:36:39.000 They go, but wouldn't my dad, like, I love my dad so much.

00:36:43.000 Wouldn't God want me to be able to talk to my dead, uh, dead grandfather, my dead father?

00:36:48.000 Hold on a second.

00:36:49.000 You're trying to put this in a three-dimensional realm where we have a God who is past, present, future, alpha and omega.

00:36:55.000 You don't understand what heaven is.

00:36:56.000 You don't know how many dimensions there are.

00:36:58.000 And you are trying to put this into a box that would be most pleasant for you.

00:37:03.000 There are new boxes that you could have never even imagined before.

00:37:06.000 I guarantee you that he is better off than you could ever possibly compute.

00:37:11.000 And that doesn't include in the equation, as far as what we believe biblically, the ability to communicate with you.

00:37:17.000 It's not a part of the equation.

00:37:19.000 The equation is far better than you're giving it credit for.

00:37:22.000 Yeah.

00:37:22.000 So this is a lot more difficult for you than it is for him.

00:37:25.000 And so I think the best thing that you can do is, like you said, take the proper steps to moving on and start focusing on other people first.

00:37:33.000 It sounds to me like you're a great mom that you care about your kids.

00:37:37.000 It sounds to me like you have a great family.

00:37:39.000 I mean, I would imagine that if your dad were here, that would be really important for him, for you to continue with that, not reach out to him.

00:37:46.000 He can't hear you.

00:37:47.000 Yeah.

00:37:47.000 Well, and I think, too, you know, your dad would probably want that for you, right?

00:37:52.000 Whenever your parents leave this earth, they want you to be able to function and to have a wonderful, joy-filled life with your family or whatever the situation may be with you.

00:38:01.000 And so, use that as motivation.

00:38:03.000 Like, what would my dad want me to do right now?

00:38:05.000 Would he want me to be thinking about the past and living in pain from this situation?

00:38:09.000 Or would he want me to remember the good things about the time that we had together and move forward and take some of the lessons that I learned and create a legacy that reflects on him as well as me?

00:38:19.000 I think you're right.

00:38:20.000 And that's super hard.

00:38:22.000 In those types of situations, especially at a young age that this person lost, I'm not super young, but young enough, pretty early, it's tough.

00:38:30.000 But the best thing that you can do is to understand that's the goal.

00:38:34.000 The goal of being a parent is to raise a child that can live on their own and have a good life, hopefully a life that is better than yours.

00:38:40.000 That's what your dad would want you to do.

00:38:42.000 This is one thing I will say, and this is just me going off on my own personal rant, so I appreciate you sending the email, it doesn't necessarily have to do with you, but it kind of is a narcissistic view of heaven.

00:38:50.000 When people say, like, oh, I know my dad, or I know my aunt, or I know my son is smiling down on me, that's a pretty crappy heaven.

00:38:58.000 Especially considering that this is supposed to be very temporary, by the way.

00:39:02.000 This is, this is but a moment when you think about eternity.

00:39:05.000 This is, this is very much second tier to what goes on there as far as your lifespan, as far as all of eternity, right?

00:39:12.000 So, we're going to be designing from the ground up for heaven to be right.

00:39:16.000 Here, right now, this is fall, and people have made all kinds of mistakes, and obviously we understand what the end of the world will, well, we don't understand fully what the end of the world will look like, but we understand there will be an end of the world and there will be a final day of judgment, but the point is, To think that heaven was created for this very temporary space known as Earth for people just to sit there and be like, what's going on down there?

00:39:33.000 Like an aquarium?

00:39:33.000 They don't care.

00:39:34.000 If anything, we can't, but we should be concerned with what's going on up there a whole lot more than they could care about what's going on down here.

00:39:41.000 Yeah, it would be very bad to have a view from heaven to see all the pain on Earth.

00:39:46.000 Yeah, that's like thinking the headliner should be watching every single warm-up act.

00:39:52.000 Yeah, it's exactly what I'm thinking.

00:39:55.000 Oh, is this me?

00:39:56.000 Okay.

00:39:56.000 All right.

00:39:57.000 And I'm sorry to hear of your loss, and I think that, listen, I think, you know, we only see a snapshot into people's lives here, so sometimes we can either see it as we're being blunt or we're being harsh or we're not.

00:40:08.000 From what I read, it seems like you probably are a fantastic mother, and I think that focusing on that, and also, by the way, I would also test us on this.

00:40:16.000 Read up on theology.

00:40:18.000 See if you believe, if you can find any justification.

00:40:20.000 Look to the scripture that your father is able to communicate with you.

00:40:24.000 And if you think that we're wrong, then let me know why.

00:40:26.000 But speak with spiritual advisors, people whose spiritual counsel you trust, and go to the book.

00:40:31.000 And I think you'll find more peace once you actually get definitive answers.

00:40:35.000 Okay, Dear Amazing All-Knowing Guru Crowder and Gerald C. Oh, not even me?

00:40:41.000 That's true.

00:40:45.000 Work on your lamp rake.

00:40:46.000 Now you know how I feel.

00:40:47.000 My wife's grandfather passed away three weeks ago, and we haven't had sex since.

00:40:52.000 Oh.

00:40:53.000 There's a loaded freight!

00:40:54.000 Holy moly.

00:40:54.000 Okay, hold on.

00:40:55.000 Death and sex. 0.99

00:40:57.000 Yeah, exactly. 0.98

00:40:58.000 Who is we?

00:40:59.000 Is this like Weekend at Bernie's?

00:41:01.000 Gosh.

00:41:03.000 My wife's grandfather passed away three weeks ago, and we haven't... I assume you mean you and your wife.

00:41:07.000 Right.

00:41:08.000 My wife's grandfather...

00:41:11.000 You sound like my grandfather doing a crossword puzzle.

00:41:16.000 Who is the Lone Ranger's horse?

00:41:23.000 Keeping it simple, how long should I expect to wait before asking or bringing it up and seeming like an inconsiderate a-hole?

00:41:30.000 Too late.

00:41:30.000 I understand the grieving process is different for every situation, but I also don't want it affecting our marriage or should I just continue to go take care of business myself?

00:41:39.000 It's been three weeks.

00:41:40.000 We heard of you ready.

00:41:41.000 You can hold it.

00:41:44.000 Okay, thanks.

00:41:45.000 One frustration. 1.00

00:41:46.000 Let me just tell you that you are an inconsiderate a**hole. 1.00

00:41:51.000 Just a wee bit. 1.00

00:41:56.000 This is tough love.

00:41:57.000 This is not easy love.

00:41:58.000 If you want easy love, that's a different show.

00:42:01.000 I understand that you have needs.

00:42:05.000 But I don't care that much.

00:42:06.000 And that being said, if you go take care of it yourself, which one would presume there's probably some level of that, I don't think your wife would hold it against you rather than rubbing up against her leg.

00:42:17.000 Jesus, man.

00:42:18.000 Alright, so let's talk about needs.

00:42:19.000 Seriously, right?

00:42:20.000 So he says in his letter he has a higher sex drive and that this is a thing that they have to work on.

00:42:25.000 Okay, so you have a need right now. 0.92

00:42:27.000 You have a need to be intimate with your wife.

00:42:29.000 Your wife has a need. 0.98

00:42:30.000 In other words, this is a pre-existing issue.

00:42:32.000 Yes, it is.

00:42:32.000 Something they already knew about.

00:42:33.000 Pre-existing.

00:42:35.000 I'm going to say what Milton Berle told a young Richard Pryor.

00:42:38.000 Pick your spots, babe.

00:42:41.000 She has a need right now as well.

00:42:44.000 She has a need for you to be there, to be with her for whatever grieving process. 0.98

00:42:49.000 And it's not the dick. 0.94

00:42:50.000 It's not, yes. 0.98

00:42:50.000 She doesn't need the D. She doesn't need your 27 second rodeo, okay? 0.98

00:42:54.000 She's not looking for that right now.

00:42:55.000 What she's looking for is her husband to be there and to say, look, I know that this goes beyond that.

00:42:59.000 Now at a certain point, You guys do need to come together, right?

00:43:03.000 Because it is good for a relationship not to be apart.

00:43:05.000 Like the Bible says, okay, depart for a time, but not for too long, because that's a problem sometimes.

00:43:12.000 Because eventually this guy could go to pornography, and we've talked about that in previous things.

00:43:16.000 So anyway, I do think you need to, don't be selfish when it comes to sex.

00:43:20.000 I know three weeks sounds like a long time, especially for somebody in y'all's age bracket that you listed, but understand that she's going through something difficult.

00:43:27.000 Don't be selfish when it comes to sex, and I would also say this, women understand that you bear part of the responsibility as well.

00:43:33.000 Yeah.

00:43:33.000 You cannot, if this is a pre-existing issue, obviously these are extreme circumstances where you had a death in a family, but I see a lot of women who think, well, especially, and I hate to say this, but especially in the church with conservative women, like, well, he should be able to control himself.

00:43:46.000 You're playing with fire if you just, because you don't have a sex drive, you're not having sex with your husband, you know, going weeks without it.

00:43:52.000 You are playing with fire, and you are deciding to try and use, whether knowingly or unknowingly, a biological function of a man.

00:44:01.000 And by the way, this is also something how married couples become closer.

00:44:05.000 Don't do it.

00:44:06.000 I'm not absolving women of responsibility, because obviously the man should have some self-control.

00:44:10.000 But if you do not have sex with your husband repeatedly, well, he should learn.

00:44:13.000 Listen, I don't know what you expect to happen.

00:44:16.000 Yeah.

00:44:17.000 Scripture says not to give place to the devil, I believe.

00:44:20.000 My first question is, has he tried?

00:44:24.000 Like rubbing up against your leg repeatedly?

00:44:26.000 Three weeks and they're not kissing or there's no contact?

00:44:29.000 I will say three weeks seems like a long time.

00:44:31.000 It does seem like a long time.

00:44:32.000 It seems like he would at least make an advance and does she just go, no?

00:44:36.000 What could also be he's intimidated because of the pre-existing problem.

00:44:40.000 I have no idea.

00:44:41.000 It's been three weeks since like... You can talk about it too.

00:44:43.000 Was it their parent that died?

00:44:44.000 No, grandparent.

00:44:45.000 Grandparent, okay.

00:44:47.000 I think you talk about it.

00:44:48.000 Yeah, it's pretty weird.

00:44:50.000 Look, I think you talk about it.

00:44:51.000 I think you say, hey, this is an issue right now that we need to talk about.

00:44:55.000 I understand you're in a grieving period.

00:44:56.000 Can we talk about when?

00:44:57.000 Yeah, talk.

00:44:58.000 It takes some of the romance out of it.

00:44:59.000 It sounds to me like this might be an issue more so with you because this is something that's been going on for a while.

00:45:05.000 Because if three weeks was atypical, you'd say, well, this is for a season.

00:45:07.000 I understand that she's really upset.

00:45:09.000 It sounds to me like you're thinking that maybe your wife Sorry, I have the hiccups.

00:45:12.000 You guys have kids, that's normal.

00:45:13.000 Yeah.

00:45:14.000 Well, three weeks.

00:45:15.000 Kids.

00:45:16.000 Stop it.

00:45:17.000 I don't know how that happened with my parents.

00:45:19.000 I don't know.

00:45:20.000 They've said so.

00:45:21.000 They've been very clear about it.

00:45:23.000 So I don't know.

00:45:23.000 I don't know.

00:45:24.000 They keep talking about it.

00:45:25.000 It's weird.

00:45:26.000 I'm in that second trimester amazingness.

00:45:28.000 I think it's just a warning shot over the top.

00:45:31.000 That's true.

00:45:31.000 That does happen.

00:45:34.000 In other words, if there's a mismatch here as far as your sexual expectations and you feel that maybe she's using this as an excuse, then that's an entirely different problem.

00:45:41.000 That's a communication problem.

00:45:43.000 And this is a problem that this is something that's very politically incorrect.

00:45:46.000 It does go both ways.

00:45:47.000 Men, you need to control yourself if we're going to talk about pornography. 1.00

00:45:50.000 Women, it is a part of your wifely obligations. 1.00

00:45:54.000 What do I mean by obligations?

00:45:55.000 It's a part of your wifely duties to satisfy your husband sexually if you plan on having a successful marriage. 1.00

00:46:00.000 That does not mean!

00:46:02.000 If you're holding your c-section scar and all right, that's not what I'm saying.

00:46:07.000 If you have an inconsiderate husband, that's a problem.

00:46:09.000 But that being said, if you are looking for an excuse to not engage your husband in sexual activity, you are making a mistake.

00:46:17.000 Yes.

00:46:17.000 So I have a question for you guys.

00:46:19.000 Everybody's married in this room, obviously.

00:46:20.000 So we read a book.

00:46:22.000 Sorry, I almost said that y'all weren't.

00:46:24.000 I almost was like, for those of you who are married, sorry, I used to be the guy not married.

00:46:28.000 Cool your jets, you're a little new to the club. 0.53

00:46:29.000 Exactly, I know, right?

00:46:31.000 I know everything, guys, listen up!

00:46:33.000 No, we read a book that said something that we both thought was pretty interesting, where a couple, and it's a Christian-based book, and they said, look, if I go to my wife, and for some, for whatever reason, right, she's like, no, I'm not, I'm super tired, or just, I'm not gonna be able to because of, you know, whatever, I'm in my head, doesn't matter, whatever it is, they have a 24-hour rule, where they know that, okay, within 24 hours, Surprise sex at any time.

00:46:57.000 No, but they've agreed for each other to say, look, this is an important enough part of our relationship where it's sacrificing one for the other.

00:47:03.000 And so I understand that right now is a no, and that's totally fine. 0.79

00:47:07.000 You have to have the ability to say that.

00:47:08.000 But within 24 hours, unless the party that has approached says, you know what, look, I know we need a little bit more time.

00:47:14.000 That's necrophilia then after that. 1.00

00:47:14.000 You kill her. 1.00

00:47:14.000 No, you don't. 1.00

00:47:16.000 That's no fun for anybody, Stephen.

00:47:18.000 Come on.

00:47:19.000 So anyway, I thought that was a really good rule.

00:47:21.000 It may be helpful for him to have some kind of rule like this.

00:47:25.000 She won't stay warm for long.

00:47:27.000 My wife and I have often mismatched energies as far as a lot of things.

00:47:27.000 I will say this.

00:47:33.000 In other words, when I get home from work, I've been working for so long that typically my wife wants to talk about her day.

00:47:37.000 I'm like, I don't want to talk.

00:47:43.000 So we have to kind of set some rules like, okay, I get home, you give me at least 10 minutes when I get to the door.

00:47:48.000 And obviously, you know, for me, like I often work from home.

00:47:50.000 If I leave here, like I go home, I check our messages.

00:47:53.000 Okay, what do we need to do as far as titling?

00:47:54.000 So I'm going to kind of try and wrap some things up.

00:47:56.000 And then after that is like 10 minutes for me to do some, what do I do to relax?

00:48:00.000 typically speaking, I'm a very simple man.

00:48:01.000 Either reading or watching, yeah, cigars, or watching old, like, right now I've been watching

00:48:06.000 a lot of old boxing videos.

00:48:07.000 I'm gonna go through phases where I'll read old, sort of like, I'll read some old books or how-to's

00:48:12.000 or watch some old documentaries.

00:48:13.000 Right now it's old boxing videos like this.

00:48:15.000 I've been going through the Duran, Hagler, Hearns, watching every fight, watching every analysis

00:48:21.000 I can find on the fights, and then reading up on them.

00:48:23.000 And it's just very interesting to sort of understand this.

00:48:25.000 I enjoy snippets of history and sort of immersing myself into that world.

00:48:28.000 Anyway, we have sometimes mismatched energies after work where I don't necessarily want to talk, and sometimes that is sexually.

00:48:33.000 I will say this, the worst time, I've talked about this on the show, the worst time for sex to me is later in the day.

00:48:38.000 Yeah.

00:48:39.000 That's when I'm just swamped.

00:48:40.000 Like, I wish it was like the afternoon snack time.

00:48:44.000 Afternoon delight. 0.97

00:48:45.000 That would be the perfect time for me for sex. 0.99

00:48:47.000 Like kindergarten. 0.97

00:48:48.000 I think, by the way, this is something, full disclosure, women who are here, does anyone else have difficulty with Wake up sex, like, right in the morning.

00:48:56.000 Difficult, you mean, like, it's difficult to do?

00:48:58.000 It's far more difficult to get into it, to make it happen, immediately upon waking.

00:49:03.000 Well, hold on.

00:49:04.000 Do you mean, like, having a willing partner as well?

00:49:06.000 No, no, no.

00:49:07.000 I mean, for me, when I wake up, I'm like, I need coffee.

00:49:11.000 No, no, no.

00:49:11.000 I'm not that way at all.

00:49:12.000 I wake up immediately a lot of times.

00:49:14.000 I'm like, OK, I can do this.

00:49:15.000 I can make this happen.

00:49:16.000 For me, it's like a window which is after the gym in the morning and before the end of the workday, which makes it very difficult.

00:49:23.000 It does.

00:49:24.000 You should schedule that every day.

00:49:26.000 We have coping mechanisms.

00:49:30.000 But you do have to sit down and talk about this.

00:49:32.000 You do.

00:49:33.000 And it is a problem that every married couple needs to work out.

00:49:35.000 A lot of people get uncomfortable with it or they think, well I don't want to schedule sex.

00:49:38.000 Sometimes you have to because we live.

00:49:40.000 It helps you get in a rhythm.

00:49:41.000 It helps you understand the other person and then you get in that rhythm with them.

00:49:45.000 And the rhythm is going to get you.

00:49:47.000 It's going to get you there.

00:49:48.000 I've heard that.

00:49:50.000 You can handle my rhythm.

00:49:52.000 I have heard that.

00:49:54.000 You're right.

00:49:55.000 Repeatedly.

00:49:56.000 That was George St.

00:49:56.000 Pierre.

00:49:57.000 It was one of his quotes.

00:49:58.000 He said that?

00:49:58.000 Yeah, he walked up and he was like, I don't think Matthews can handle my rhythm.

00:50:02.000 Oh, wow.

00:50:02.000 And one of those original memes was, the rhythm's gonna get you.

00:50:05.000 And someone actually did a Gloria Estefan re-dux, but it was, the rhythm's going to get you.

00:50:12.000 Oh, no.

00:50:15.000 I just like the buy it with your money energy drink that he did.

00:50:18.000 With your money.

00:50:19.000 George St.

00:50:21.000 Pierre.

00:50:21.000 What a great athlete.

00:50:22.000 Alright, so I don't know if we answered your question.

00:50:25.000 We tried.

00:50:26.000 Don't try and mount your wife immediately upon her relative's past. 0.78

00:50:30.000 On the flip side, if it's three weeks have gone by and you're not putting out, come on sweetheart.

00:50:35.000 I thought Wedding Crashers said that you could do the same thing for funerals, you know, like the emotional stage.

00:50:39.000 Yeah.

00:50:40.000 It's what the movie said.

00:50:42.000 Yeah.

00:50:42.000 It's prescriptive!

00:50:45.000 I'm white.

00:50:46.000 That's what you start with.

00:50:47.000 Wow.

00:50:47.000 Okay.

00:50:47.000 That's a lot of problems.

00:50:48.000 No dear do.

00:50:49.000 Off the top.

00:50:50.000 Yeah.

00:50:50.000 Maybe she should have started off with Sig Hail.

00:50:53.000 Done.

00:50:53.000 Whoa.

00:50:55.000 I have a, yeah, you should get, you know what, you should check your insurance for all that Sig Hail damage.

00:51:02.000 I am white, I have a baby mama who's half black, and a wife who's from Africa.

00:51:08.000 Mama is a nightmare, and my wife is an absolutely incredible woman inside and out. 1.00

00:51:13.000 Whoa. 0.96

00:51:14.000 Ooh.

00:51:14.000 Oh, OK.

00:51:16.000 Well, he's a surgeon.

00:51:20.000 All right, she even lets me live in the house.

00:51:22.000 Huh?

00:51:23.000 OK, I think it's a joke.

00:51:25.000 Baby Mama, or BM, as I like to silently call her to myself, accuses me of being racist and buying a slave wife who I can own. 1.00

00:51:33.000 I feel like maybe I'm not the racist one here, but I keep getting told that I'm wrong about that.

00:51:38.000 And yes, BM is voting for Bernie.

00:51:41.000 I could really use your sarcasm to help clear this one up for me.

00:51:44.000 Thank you so much.

00:51:45.000 First off, I don't really use sarcasm.

00:51:47.000 Sarcasm is the lazy man's comedy.

00:51:49.000 It's true.

00:51:51.000 That being said, sarcasm Isn't going to help clear this up, and what I'm about to offer isn't going to help clear this up.

00:51:57.000 So, really, you should just close this window, this tab, right now.

00:52:04.000 Bye.

00:52:04.000 Move on.

00:52:05.000 I'm trying to make sense of this. 0.82

00:52:06.000 So, you have a baby mama who's half black and a wife who's from Africa.

00:52:09.000 Well, Africa is a very large continent.

00:52:12.000 It is.

00:52:12.000 South African.

00:52:13.000 Did I just see a light reflect down here?

00:52:15.000 I don't think so.

00:52:16.000 Are we talking Scarlett Johansson?

00:52:19.000 Not Scarlett Johansson.

00:52:19.000 What's her name?

00:52:20.000 Charlize Theron?

00:52:21.000 Yeah, that's right.

00:52:23.000 I mean, you could be getting away with some wordplay here.

00:52:26.000 A little bit.

00:52:26.000 Where it's a white South African and the other one is half black and you're trying to virtue signal like you're not racist, but really only a white South African.

00:52:32.000 If she's tribal, though, I mean, this is a different story.

00:52:35.000 Could be.

00:52:37.000 I mean, let's assume that you've plucked your current wife straight off the cover of a National Geographic. 0.95

00:52:42.000 His World Vision kit.

00:52:46.000 Africanbrides.com.

00:52:46.000 Let's assume that you are supporting your current wife at the price of less than a cup of coffee per day.

00:52:51.000 And that's great!

00:52:53.000 Fantastic.

00:52:53.000 Who knew?

00:52:56.000 And then your other baby mama is half black. 1.00

00:52:59.000 I don't really think it should matter. 0.93

00:53:00.000 I mean, I don't know what you really... Who cares? 0.97

00:53:02.000 Yeah, you racist. 0.99

00:53:04.000 He's being accused of being a racist and owning a quote-unquote slave wife, so that makes me think the Africa wife is black. 0.99

00:53:11.000 Otherwise it wouldn't make a whole lot of sense. 0.95

00:53:12.000 No, I know.

00:53:13.000 I was just being difficult.

00:53:15.000 I was trying to clarify.

00:53:17.000 Here's what matters.

00:53:18.000 What matters is the child in that case, right?

00:53:20.000 Because you're saying, baby mama, so you have a child with this woman. 0.95

00:53:22.000 So what matters is what's best for that child.

00:53:26.000 And what's best is for you and the mother to be civil to the best of your abilities.

00:53:30.000 Now that being said, If you can't be civil without completely abandoning all of your principles or everything that you stand for, that's not best for the child, either, because they're just going to see a weak-willed father who doesn't stand up for what's right.

00:53:41.000 So it's not really that hard of a balancing act.

00:53:44.000 You need to be respectful and honoring of the BM, as you call it.

00:53:47.000 Let's probably stop with that abbreviation there.

00:53:50.000 He said silent in his head, which I'm cool with.

00:53:53.000 OK.

00:53:53.000 That's fine.

00:53:55.000 Unless your kid has ESP, in which case none of this applies to you.

00:54:01.000 Honor the mother, respect the mother, make sure that you don't talk badly about the mother to your child, and make sure that your child sees an example of a good, strong father.

00:54:10.000 Your child is going to be smart enough to see if you are a racist or not.

00:54:15.000 Okay, so how about this?

00:54:16.000 I know what you just said.

00:54:18.000 The BM is voting for Bernie Sanders.

00:54:20.000 Yeah.

00:54:21.000 Make fun of Bernie Sanders and make sure the child knows that the BM is voting for Bernie Sanders.

00:54:27.000 Is that okay?

00:54:29.000 That is underhanded conniving, and I endorse.

00:54:32.000 Because you're honoring the mom.

00:54:34.000 Like, you've never said a bad word.

00:54:35.000 You've only said bad things about the candidate she chooses to think is viable.

00:54:39.000 OK, do you want me to give you the answer here?

00:54:42.000 There's the right thing to do.

00:54:43.000 Give us the real thing.

00:54:43.000 Come on.

00:54:43.000 There's the right thing to do, which I've just clarified.

00:54:45.000 The fun thing.

00:54:45.000 Give us the fun thing.

00:54:46.000 Now, I've often thought about this.

00:54:47.000 If I just threw caution to the wind, I couldn't care less about the right thing.

00:54:52.000 The most effective thing to do would be to simply Comment on Bernie Sanders in a very reasonable, but clearly loaded way.

00:55:01.000 That might go over a child's head, but be caught perfectly in the catcher's mitt by your baby mama, and watch her flip out, and then to your daughter's... Wow. 0.57

00:55:13.000 You see?

00:55:13.000 It's not the right thing to do.

00:55:17.000 But it would work.

00:55:18.000 He needed a little sarcasm.

00:55:19.000 We gave him comedy.

00:55:21.000 Yeah, I mean, honestly, this is a tough situation.

00:55:23.000 It is.

00:55:24.000 But doing the right thing is still doing the right thing.

00:55:26.000 Honor the mom.

00:55:27.000 Make sure the kid honors the mom.

00:55:27.000 Make sure the kid sees you ensuring that the mother is respected by the child.

00:55:32.000 Make sure that there's never any doubt in the child's mind that if there's a difference of opinion between the child or mom, that you will take the side of mom regardless of the new wife.

00:55:41.000 Unless it's burning.

00:55:43.000 And I would imagine you want your child to have a good relationship with your current wife.

00:55:49.000 Yeah.

00:55:49.000 So, what do you think will be most effective and what do you think is the right thing to do to make sure that your baby, your child, wants to spend more time with you and your current wife?

00:56:02.000 And I would behave that way.

00:56:03.000 There you go.

00:56:04.000 I think it's easy enough.

00:56:05.000 Yeah.

00:56:06.000 I mean, we solved all these problems.

00:56:07.000 That's pretty nice.

00:56:08.000 And you know, when the child walks in, just play some of our videos on Bernie Sanders.

00:56:13.000 Let him play in the background.

00:56:14.000 We'll do it for you.

00:56:16.000 A Mug Club subscription.

00:56:17.000 Get him a Mug Club.

00:56:18.000 I mean, I think it's him.

00:56:19.000 I don't know if I... I'm also very self-serving.

00:56:21.000 Yeah, maybe two Mug Club subscriptions.

00:56:23.000 Maybe two, yeah.

00:56:24.000 There's no added value in this scenario unless you're playing them one with a slight delay.

00:56:29.000 There you go.

00:56:29.000 So that they're sort of talking over each other like you have a phone on Sprint.

00:56:33.000 Just have the videos at the ready when the BM comes to pick up the child.

00:56:36.000 Yeah, but I mean, you know, the one thing is you hear all these horror stories about step-parents.

00:56:39.000 Yeah.

00:56:40.000 And it's like, you don't want to be that person.

00:56:41.000 No, not at all.

00:56:42.000 A child doesn't necessarily know, they don't know anything about politics, and they don't necessarily know what's right, but they know how they feel.

00:56:50.000 Yeah.

00:56:50.000 And so, do what's right and make sure that you find a way to frame doing what's right that feels as attractive, as magnetic to your child as possible.

00:57:03.000 You want to be someone your child wants to be around, especially as they go into their teenage years.

00:57:08.000 And they just happen to drop in, you know, socialism doesn't work every once in a while.

00:57:12.000 Yeah.

00:57:12.000 Yes.

00:57:12.000 Yeah.

00:57:13.000 Just teach them right things. 1.00

00:57:14.000 And anybody who thinks it does is usually a pretty stupid person. 0.99

00:57:16.000 This also may be a good spot, you know, if your wife, for example, if your current wife, who's from Africa, I don't know her political leanings. 0.99

00:57:24.000 And I also don't know, does this person specify if their child is a boy or a girl?

00:57:27.000 I didn't see it.

00:57:28.000 I said boy a minute ago, I don't know.

00:57:29.000 But if the child is a girl, this would be a good thing for your wife to really become friends with.

00:57:33.000 And your wife, by the way, is not burdened with all the same responsibilities of being the mother, because your child has a biological mother.

00:57:40.000 So this is a scenario where your wife can kind of be a friend, right?

00:57:44.000 Parents don't get to be buddies, but your wife kind of does. 1.00

00:57:46.000 So your wife can be friends, of course, while obviously still having a respectful relationship and respect for authority, but your wife can be friends with this child and can also express what she was raised with in Africa and the corruption with those systems of government, speak to it firsthand.

00:57:59.000 So these are conversations that can be had that don't need to feel like loaded sort of political indoctrination.

00:58:05.000 That's what my parents did.

00:58:06.000 They didn't indoctrinate me, but they made me think about all these issues.

00:58:08.000 They would ask me, well, what do you think about that?

00:58:10.000 What do you think about those taxes?

00:58:11.000 What do you think about the health care that you received?

00:58:13.000 What do you think about abortion?

00:58:15.000 Why?

00:58:15.000 They would ask me those questions and your wife may be a really valuable, sounds like she's a gem, may be a really valuable asset here because she doesn't have the same burdens associated with her as you do as a biological father.

00:58:26.000 Yeah, exactly.

00:58:27.000 Don't use the kid.

00:58:28.000 But I'm glad that you found a good woman.

00:58:30.000 I'm sorry about the baby mama.

00:58:32.000 You don't sound racist to me.

00:58:33.000 Nope.

00:58:33.000 And good for you, taking the tribes ladies from the Hutu Plains.

00:58:37.000 Nice job.

00:58:38.000 All right.

00:58:39.000 Better life.

00:58:39.000 We're going to go.

00:58:40.000 I believe tomorrow is either a... It's a something or other.

00:58:44.000 I think it's a scrapyard show with maybe a guest.

00:58:47.000 I'm not sure, but it's gonna be fun.

00:58:50.000 Hey, if you enjoyed this show, subscriber, hit the notification bell.

00:58:54.000 It's cold in here, so I'm covering my nips.

00:58:57.000 Hit all notifications on the notification bell, because apparently subscriptions don't mean a whole lot.

00:59:03.000 Look, they're playing in boxes.

00:59:04.000 Is that what's happening in Court of Blackout?

00:59:06.000 There are videos playing in boxes.

00:59:07.000 You should click one of them.

00:59:09.000 Maybe one of them's a mystery box.

Louder with Crowder - March 31, 2020

#655 Lazy Late-Night Hosts & LIFE ADVICE: Dealing with Grief | Louder with Crowder

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