Louder with Crowder - April 02, 2020


#657 Prank Calls and Your Questions Answered! Ash Wednesday | Louder with Crowder


Episode Stats


Length

53 minutes

Words per minute

206.89076

Word count

11,079

Sentence count

1,061

Harmful content

Misogyny

27

sentences flagged

Toxicity

110

sentences flagged

Hate speech

35

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

A woman calls in to complain about Dove's new "Real Beauty" campaign. She wants to make a change, but can't find a way to complain because she's a gender non-conforming person of color and feels like she's been left out of the conversation.

Transcript

Transcripts from "Louder with Crowder" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. Explore them interactively here.
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 Day three of hashtag MugClub quarantine, where everything is free in front of the paywall, what's usually available exclusively for MugClubbers, and we've added three more shows per week, Monday, Wednesday, Friday.
00:00:10.000 Good morning, MugClub.
00:00:12.000 We just ask that you tune in, leave a like, comment, and join MugClub if you can.
00:00:15.000 We're offering a promo code.
00:00:17.000 Quarantine at loudmouthcutter.com slash mugclub.
00:00:19.000 You get $30 off.
00:00:20.000 That's the highest discount or low.
00:00:22.000 It's the most money discount that we've done since the Vox Adpocalypse.
00:00:27.000 And I'll tell you what, I'm at this point, I'm saying, what am I doing at two shows a day?
00:00:32.000 I might not make it, but I'm gonna do my best.
00:00:37.000 So enjoy the show.
00:00:38.000 You'll notice that it's a show. 1.00
00:00:43.000 Shit, I got water all over myself. 0.99
00:00:44.000 All right, let's go. 0.92
00:00:45.000 ["Strange Animals"]
00:00:53.000 music Welcome to Dove.
00:01:24.000 Para el Español o Prima el DOS.
00:01:27.000 Thank you for contacting Dove.
00:01:29.000 My name is d**k. How can I help you today? 0.98
00:01:32.000 Oh d**k, okay. 0.99
00:01:33.000 Thank the Lord you've answered d**k. I would like to file a complaint. 0.99
00:01:37.000 I should ask, I'm sorry. 0.89
00:01:38.000 How are you today?
00:01:40.000 I'm wonderful.
00:01:41.000 How are you doing?
00:01:42.000 I have been better.
00:01:43.000 Like I said, I would like to lodge a complaint.
00:01:47.000 If you please.
00:01:47.000 Absolutely, go ahead.
00:01:51.000 Are you the representative I would speak with?
00:01:52.000 Because I want to talk with someone who can make a change Over there at Dove, I don't want it to just go to some, you know, folks who just send it on to the higher ups.
00:02:04.000 Um, I don't have the authority to give you anyone higher up, but I can absolutely take note of your comment and it does get passed as long as that is sort of the chain of command here.
00:02:14.000 Okay, well I am calling regarding your Real Beauty campaign.
00:02:19.000 You aware of your Real Beauty campaign?
00:02:22.000 Mm-hmm, yes.
00:02:24.000 About body positivity?
00:02:26.000 Yeah.
00:02:27.000 And I really appreciate that.
00:02:28.000 Okay, I'm gonna let you, I want to say at first, I appreciate y'all doing that work.
00:02:33.000 I appreciate that you want to represent people, different people, non-binaries, okay, non-binaries, men and women, and people from different cultures, different races, different body types, because I get it, that's hard.
00:02:45.000 Right?
00:02:46.000 But I, still, I do not, I, myself, am not represented at all by this campaign, and I am frankly offended that people of my ilk have been left out.
00:03:00.000 I'm so sorry to hear that to confirm your calling, because the Real Beauty campaign, you still feel excluded from?
00:03:07.000 Absolutely.
00:03:08.000 And I gotta, and I, let me tell y'all, I am a real beauty.
00:03:13.000 I'm sorry, I think y'all have a blind spot.
00:03:15.000 Because I am a gender non-conforming person of color.
00:03:23.000 You see that in the campaign?
00:03:28.000 No, you don't.
00:03:28.000 You don't see that in the campaign.
00:03:31.000 And guess what?
00:03:32.000 Does that mean I'm not a real beauty though?
00:03:36.000 No, and you're... I think that's what it means.
00:03:39.000 I'm a gender non-conforming person of color, okay, Z of color, and I'm a quasi-amputee.
00:03:51.000 I don't see that in the campaign.
00:03:52.000 Is that in the campaign?
00:03:53.000 You got any quasi-amputees in the campaign?
00:03:57.000 Don't believe so, no.
00:03:58.000 How about folks with rickets?
00:04:01.000 I also have rickets.
00:04:02.000 I have four rickets.
00:04:03.000 So let me tell you, my name is Jesse.
00:04:06.000 Okay, Jess apostrophe E. I'm telling you, what I see when I see that campaign is, we want people of all body types here at Dubb.
00:04:12.000 As long as people out there are part of a demographic, they're gonna buy a soap.
00:04:16.000 But there's enough people, right? 0.99
00:04:17.000 We got skinny people, we got fat people, we got black people, we got lesbians, right? 1.00
00:04:20.000 We got gays. 0.99
00:04:21.000 But we don't have a combination of a non-conforming person of color, quasi-amputee with rickets. 1.00
00:04:33.000 I apologize for that, but you do feel excluded by that, and I can absolutely empathize with how you- Thank you very- I appreciate your empathy.
00:04:41.000 Let me ask you this. 0.96
00:04:42.000 I know you apologize, and listen, d***. 0.94
00:04:44.000 I know you get people who just be pissed off calling all the time. 0.96
00:04:47.000 So I don't want to come down on you.
00:04:48.000 I don't want to come down on y'all, right?
00:04:49.000 Because I understand.
00:04:50.000 Like, it's not your fault.
00:04:51.000 But that's why I want to talk to somebody who can make a change, because I know you got to apologize, but I want to ask you.
00:04:56.000 How do you feel?
00:04:57.000 How do you feel when you hear that?
00:04:59.000 Do you think- Do you feel good about that?
00:05:01.000 That I'm not representing that campaign?
00:05:04.000 It feels, you know what it feels like?
00:05:05.000 It feels like I live in death.
00:05:06.000 I empathize, don't sympathize, obviously I've never been in any issues,
00:05:10.000 so that is not something that I could feel, but I genuinely am sorry,
00:05:14.000 and I can't imagine how it feels for you, I'm sorry.
00:05:16.000 It feels, you know what it feels like?
00:05:18.000 It feels like I live in death.
00:05:20.000 It feels like I'm alive, but I'm dead at the same time, because it's like I might as well be dead,
00:05:24.000 because ain't nobody recognizing my existence.
00:05:27.000 And I don't know why, you know, listen, you get pats on the back from all the white people 0.98
00:05:31.000 up there in Williamsburg, pushing black folk out, And they talking about how the hell progressive and sh** 0.99
00:05:36.000 And then you got someone like me. 0.99
00:05:38.000 How do I, listen, I am a, I am a non-conforming person of color.
00:05:43.000 We already, listen, you can, you can cross, you can cross that off the list.
00:05:46.000 We don't even get to quasi amputee in Ricketts, let alone single income household.
00:05:52.000 I'm a single mom.
00:05:54.000 Right, I don't see that in there.
00:05:55.000 You know what else I don't see?
00:05:57.000 Y'all have interviews?
00:05:59.000 With y'all models? 0.96
00:06:03.000 Let me look into that for you. 0.92
00:06:06.000 I can already answer the question, d***. 0.98
00:06:08.000 It's not your fault! 0.98
00:06:09.000 But no, no, we talking about all different kinds of beauty.
00:06:13.000 How about the inner beauty then? 1.00
00:06:15.000 I'm just supposed to look and be like, oh, that's a fat, that's a, that's a fat white bitch. 1.00
00:06:18.000 I'm supposed to think that person's good looking, but I don't know nothing about them. 1.00
00:06:20.000 I want to hear what that black woman there, that black woman, I want to hear what she has to say. 0.99
00:06:25.000 I want to hear what she has to say.
00:06:27.000 Why is she using Dove? 0.90
00:06:29.000 What made her want to do the campaign for Dove?
00:06:31.000 You telling me, oh, everybody's beautiful, but we all supposed to have self-confidence, and that's all well and good, but I'm just supposed to look at their bodies.
00:06:40.000 And the bodies, they ain't represented.
00:06:42.000 You know, ain't represented by me.
00:06:43.000 Bodies that are white and black, but they all people, they ain't got no, they ain't got no gender non-conforming people of color. 1.00
00:06:49.000 They all got legs, all that shit. 1.00
00:06:52.000 What can y'all do about this? 1.00
00:06:54.000 Who do I gotta talk to to make a change?
00:06:56.000 Cause I get it, y'all progressive, but it seems like y'all progressive in a way that's maybe comfortable. 0.62
00:07:01.000 And what I'm doing right now, d***, I hope you understand what I'm doing. 0.97
00:07:04.000 I'm just trying to make sure that you are all a little, and not you, d***, because it sounds to me like you're cool, it sounds to me like you understand where I'm coming from, but I want to make Dove just a little bit uncomfortable so y'all can feel the pain that I feel every f***ing day as a gender non-conforming person of color who is a quasi-amputee with rickets in a single income household. 1.00
00:07:26.000 What we gotta do. 0.96
00:07:29.000 What I can do is forward your comments to the brand.
00:07:31.000 If you'd like, I can take down your contact information in case they're inclined to contacting you.
00:07:38.000 Sorry, I'm trying to type as I talk.
00:07:40.000 Is that a joke?
00:07:42.000 Is that a joke?
00:07:43.000 Is that a joke about my quasi-NPT?
00:07:47.000 I know you didn't just make a joke about the fact that I can't type at all.
00:07:51.000 I was not f***ing touching at all.
00:07:53.000 I genuinely apologize.
00:07:55.000 I was being genuine in that I was Apology accepted.
00:08:02.000 But don't let me catch you doing it again.
00:08:09.000 How many people do you know in your life?
00:08:11.000 This is what happens a lot.
00:08:12.000 People, you know, you know how we destroy racism in this country?
00:08:15.000 You know how we got past racism?
00:08:17.000 Do you know? 0.79
00:08:19.000 Well, it's people who thought, they thought black people were worse. 0.99
00:08:23.000 They thought black people were animals or less than, right? 0.99
00:08:25.000 And then, all of a sudden, they hung out with black people. 1.00
00:08:27.000 They realized, hey, they're not so bad.
00:08:29.000 People need to know people of other stripes and other patterns so that they can then know that we all want, that we are all the world, right?
00:08:39.000 That's what you get exposed to people and then you're no longer scared of them, right?
00:08:43.000 How many people there at Dove know people like me?
00:08:47.000 People who are gender non-conforming, folks of color, quasi-amputees with rickets. 1.00
00:08:51.000 How many people do you know like me?
00:08:54.000 How many people does your supervisor know like me?
00:08:57.000 Absolutely, I can definitely see your point in that it is not someone...
00:09:06.000 I can't say that I know someone who is a quasi-amputee with rickets.
00:09:13.000 Then how you gonna know to put them in a campaign?
00:09:15.000 It's like, it's like we don't even exist!
00:09:18.000 You say that I ain't even, you, when you say that, that's like you saying that I don't exist.
00:09:23.000 Again, I'm very empathetic with this, um, and I would be more than happy to, you know, get your contact information, pass this along to the brand, um, Who's that?
00:09:33.000 Can I get a name?
00:09:34.000 Can I get a name?
00:09:35.000 I gotta speak with the supervisor, because I appreciate that you empathize, but I want to make sure that the people there who are making decisions, who are going out and putting this up there on Cosmopolitan and Elle and s***, that they hear from me.
00:09:47.000 Absolutely.
00:09:48.000 So you do want to speak with the supervisor?
00:09:52.000 Yeah, if that's going to make a change, I'm just calling trying to make a change.
00:09:56.000 We are the change we seek!
00:09:59.000 Absolutely.
00:10:00.000 In that case, if you don't mind, I'm gonna place you on a brief hold while I reach out to my supervisor and see who's
00:10:00.000 Alright.
00:10:00.000 Absolutely.
00:10:05.000 available to take a call.
00:10:06.000 🎵 🎵 0.99
00:10:14.000 I- I know they didn't just play hoedown music up in his motherf**ker. 0.99
00:10:19.000 I'm about to lose my sh** Good afternoon 0.99
00:10:27.000 Thank you for calling Duff. 0.97
00:10:28.000 My name is ****.
00:10:29.000 I'm one of the supervisors.
00:10:31.000 Is this Jesse?
00:10:32.000 Hi, ****.
00:10:33.000 This is Jesse.
00:10:36.000 Hi, Jesse.
00:10:37.000 I understand you were calling in today regarding the Real Beauty campaign?
00:10:42.000 Yes, ****.
00:10:43.000 Can I say ma'am? 0.93
00:10:45.000 Yes, ma'am.
00:10:46.000 Yes.
00:10:47.000 Yes, ma'am. 0.95
00:10:47.000 And I spoke with D***, and I gotta tell you, D*** was great. 0.95
00:10:50.000 D*** was very helpful, okay?
00:10:52.000 And I know that y'all deal with people on customer service all the time, calling in pissed. 0.83
00:10:56.000 I get it's not your fault, but it is really hard, as a gender non-conforming, person of color, quasi-amputee with rickets, to find somebody to talk to who will listen to me speak my truth.
00:11:08.000 Okay.
00:11:09.000 Well, I certainly understand.
00:11:13.000 And this is in regards to the campaign that you saw, and where did you see that advertisement on?
00:11:21.000 Was that like a YouTube video?
00:11:22.000 Where did I see the advertisement?
00:11:23.000 Where did I not see that advertisement?
00:11:25.000 That's the problem!
00:11:25.000 It's like, you know one of those paintings that has like the eyes that are a little bit further back than the rest of the painting, so when you move, the eyes are following you and sh**?
00:11:32.000 It's like that everywhere I go.
00:11:34.000 It's on YouTube.
00:11:35.000 I go to buy some clothes.
00:11:36.000 It's showing up on my auto ads.
00:11:37.000 I see, I saw it on the subway.
00:11:39.000 I see the real beauty ads everywhere.
00:11:41.000 Here's the thing.
00:11:42.000 Here's the thing.
00:11:42.000 Okay?
00:11:44.000 I appreciate the concept.
00:11:46.000 I think the idea of real beauty is great.
00:11:49.000 You got people of all different shapes and sizes.
00:11:51.000 That's fantastic.
00:11:52.000 I don't see, I look at all of them women. 1.00
00:11:55.000 And people, but I don't see my face!
00:11:58.000 I don't see myself represented at all!
00:12:00.000 And I wanna know why Dove thinks that it's okay to exclude people of my ilk in y'all Real Beauty campaign, when I am, and don't let nobody tell you different, I am a real beauty!
00:12:12.000 Well, I certainly don't disagree at all.
00:12:15.000 Dove believes that all women and girls have the right to, well, anybody actually.
00:12:19.000 I was gonna say, I didn't say woman or girl, I said gender non-conforming.
00:12:24.000 Right, that's right.
00:12:25.000 I'm not a woman or girl.
00:12:26.000 I'm gender non-conforming, but I understand y'all still making baby steps.
00:12:30.000 I'm not looking to play gotcha, hang on anything.
00:12:32.000 But then why is someone like myself not represented?
00:12:35.000 Let me ask you this.
00:12:35.000 When you look at that campaign, if you can bring it up right now, what do you see?
00:12:39.000 What kind of people do you see?
00:12:41.000 No, I certainly understand.
00:12:43.000 And I'm so sorry that you may not have been represented.
00:12:47.000 May?
00:12:48.000 May not have been represented?
00:12:50.000 You think it's a may?
00:12:52.000 I'm telling you that it's proactive.
00:12:54.000 I am telling you.
00:12:55.000 Listen, it's not just Doug.
00:12:56.000 It's everybody.
00:12:57.000 I don't see any... Any time I go, I see a commercial.
00:13:00.000 I go to... I go to Whataburger.
00:13:01.000 I go down to Carl's Jr., Burger King, and sh**. 0.95
00:13:03.000 I don't see nobody like me in any of the campaigns, and then I hear Dove doing a Real Beauty campaign. 0.54
00:13:08.000 It's gonna be including people of all different shapes and sizes and races.
00:13:11.000 I'm starting to think things are looking up for Jessie.
00:13:14.000 And then I tune in, and it's the same stuff. 0.99
00:13:16.000 It's the same shit that I've seen with every other campaign. 0.98
00:13:19.000 That's why I'm most upset about this, because I'm talking about, I'm a small business owner. 0.99
00:13:25.000 It's what we call opportunity cost.
00:13:29.000 Opportunity cost because this was a moment for someone like me to shine and we ain't even included
00:13:33.000 And I am so sorry did I just hear somebody laughing in that hall absolutely
00:13:43.000 Did I just hear somebody laughing on that hall? 0.99
00:13:46.000 You have my ass on speaker? 0.99
00:13:49.000 That sounds to me like I'm here laughing your voice. 0.99
00:13:54.000 There ain't nothing funny about this because I live in this every day.
00:14:01.000 It's not just some little thing that I'm using to sell some more detergent, okay?
00:14:04.000 I live every day as a gender non-conforming person of color, quasi-amputee with rickets, single income household.
00:14:10.000 I'm a single mother.
00:14:11.000 And here's something else I was asking.
00:14:12.000 I was asking, I want to know about these people.
00:14:16.000 I don't want to just see their bodies.
00:14:18.000 It's like Dove saying, hey, hey, hey, everybody want to know their bodies.
00:14:21.000 We're looking at inner beauty.
00:14:22.000 Do you have any interviews with them people?
00:14:25.000 What are their likes?
00:14:26.000 What are their hobbies?
00:14:27.000 Are they a member of the Rotary Club?
00:14:29.000 What do they do?
00:14:30.000 I have no idea.
00:14:31.000 I'm just looking at a bunch of white bodies and cis black women and Dove calls that progress. 1.00
00:14:36.000 Is that what you think is progress?
00:14:38.000 You think that's inclusive?
00:14:41.000 No, I understand your concern.
00:14:43.000 Absolutely.
00:14:44.000 And I appreciate your comments and I'm absolutely going to forward those to the brand, Desi.
00:14:50.000 Okay, I appreciate.
00:14:51.000 So what do you expect?
00:14:52.000 What do you propose we do about it?
00:14:56.000 Forward along to the brand.
00:14:57.000 I already made calls.
00:14:58.000 Listen, you're not the first one on my list.
00:15:00.000 I called Nike.
00:15:01.000 I called Gillette. 0.94
00:15:02.000 I called Brie Larson and the Marvel Comics and all that sh**. 0.74
00:15:05.000 I've been making calls.
00:15:06.000 Everyone always says we're gonna forward it to someone else.
00:15:08.000 Ain't nothing changed.
00:15:09.000 We are the change we see.
00:15:13.000 I understand completely and I assure you I will pass your information and your feedback on to the brand so they're made aware of your concerns.
00:15:23.000 And that's all we got?
00:15:24.000 Let me ask you this.
00:15:26.000 How do you identify?
00:15:27.000 Sounds like you got a lovely voice.
00:15:28.000 It sounds like you're a woman. 0.99
00:15:32.000 Correct, yes.
00:15:33.000 And if I may ask, have you always been a woman?
00:15:37.000 I have.
00:15:38.000 So you don't have a clue what kind of pain someone like me goes through every day having to deal afterwards with having effectively myself mutilated and then sutured up.
00:15:48.000 And they give me the device that I gotta use to reopen that wound every day just so I can go around living like you.
00:15:53.000 And you know how much harder that is when you got rickets?
00:15:56.000 It's not an easy procedure.
00:15:58.000 So I want to know, do you have anyone in your department who might be able to share my pain?
00:16:03.000 Who might be able to relate with my struggle?
00:16:04.000 Do you have anybody in your department who is gender non-conformant?
00:16:08.000 Got anyone with rickets?
00:16:10.000 No, I do not.
00:16:12.000 I'm so sorry.
00:16:13.000 How many rickets do you have in that office? 1.00
00:16:17.000 That's information that I don't have.
00:16:19.000 I apologize.
00:16:20.000 It's information you have if you've seen a person with rickets.
00:16:24.000 If you've seen a person with rickets, you can tell.
00:16:26.000 It's the eyeball test.
00:16:28.000 It's just the eyeball test.
00:16:29.000 It ain't that hard to figure out.
00:16:30.000 You would know if you've seen someone with rickets. 0.98
00:16:32.000 You seen somebody walking around like Doc Holliday like he going out west for tuberculosis and shit? 0.98
00:16:42.000 Well, I'm very sorry, Jesse. 0.96
00:16:43.000 I'm not familiar with it.
00:16:45.000 So I don't know much about it.
00:16:47.000 That's what I'm saying.
00:16:48.000 That's the problem!
00:16:52.000 You're not even familiar with it!
00:16:54.000 Do you know what Ricketts is?
00:16:58.000 I do not, but that doesn't mean that I don't care about the situation.
00:17:03.000 Well, it doesn't seem like Dove cares.
00:17:04.000 I've had enough.
00:17:05.000 Okay, please.
00:17:07.000 Send that up.
00:17:07.000 Send that up.
00:17:08.000 Send that up, and I want to see in that next campaign from Dove, I want to see from Dove someone like me.
00:17:14.000 Matter of fact, call me.
00:17:16.000 I am available, and I need work.
00:17:20.000 Just apostrophe E. You can call me back.
00:17:22.000 You got a pencil there?
00:17:24.000 You got a pen that you can write with?
00:17:27.000 I can absolutely take down your information here.
00:17:30.000 That must be nice.
00:17:31.000 I'm sorry, you said that's J-E-S-S apostrophe E. Yes.
00:17:36.000 Sometimes I use a semicolon.
00:17:37.000 Okay.
00:17:39.000 Okay.
00:17:40.000 And you can call me back at... And then you must have cut out.
00:17:44.000 Yeah, yeah, I must have.
00:17:45.000 Okay. 0.98
00:17:46.000 You sure you don't need to get another pen for yourself that you can write with, with your functioning f***ing hand? 0.95
00:17:53.000 I'm sorry, is there a last name that I can apply to this as well? 0.98
00:17:56.000 Nope! 0.93
00:17:57.000 It is just Death apostrophe E. I went through a lot of work to get that sh** out of my driver's license. 0.95
00:18:02.000 I don't need a last name. 0.80
00:18:06.000 Alright.
00:18:06.000 Not a problem at all.
00:18:08.000 Why'd you ask?
00:18:09.000 Alright, I'll absolutely forward this information along.
00:18:11.000 You go ahead and you do that.
00:18:12.000 You tell them that Just a Possibly E is available, and not only, not only for beauty shots, but I'm available for an interview to speak to the transgender, gender non-conforming, people of color, quasi-amputee, with rickets, single mother community at large. 0.55
00:18:29.000 There's a lot of us out there now!
00:18:32.000 All right, absolutely.
00:18:33.000 I can do that for you.
00:18:35.000 All right.
00:18:36.000 I appreciate it.
00:18:37.000 And see, people at Dove, maybe you think we're fighting.
00:18:40.000 I think we're finally talking.
00:18:42.000 I'll talk to you later.
00:18:43.000 And I'm waiting for that call.
00:18:47.000 Well, thank you so much for your time today, Jesse.
00:18:49.000 And you have a wonderful afternoon.
00:18:50.000 Are you laughing?
00:18:50.000 Are you laughing?
00:18:51.000 I'm hearing laughing right now in your voice.
00:18:53.000 No, Jesse.
00:18:54.000 What?
00:18:55.000 No.
00:18:58.000 Don't do me like that.
00:19:01.000 We had a good phone call.
00:19:02.000 Now you gotta ruin it by sitting there laughing. 0.58
00:19:04.000 Laughing like a cis woman. 1.00
00:19:07.000 And by the way, I think I can hear from your voice that you a white cis woman laughing at a woman of color, gender non-conforming, quasi-amputee, single income household with rickets. 0.99
00:19:23.000 Not at all, Jesse. 0.59
00:19:24.000 I'm so sorry if you took it that way.
00:19:26.000 I certainly did not mean anything at all.
00:19:32.000 I'm actually kind of confused a little bit, so I apologize for any confusion.
00:19:37.000 What confusion?
00:19:39.000 Because I feel that I made myself crystal clear.
00:19:43.000 I just apologize because I was not laughing at you in any way, and I'm so sorry if you thought that.
00:19:48.000 Yeah, I did think that.
00:19:49.000 It sounded like it.
00:19:51.000 It sounded like it.
00:19:53.000 No, I'm very sorry that you may have assumed that.
00:19:57.000 I don't know if maybe you may have heard somebody in the background having a conversation with someone else.
00:20:02.000 No, I didn't hear nobody in the background talking to someone else.
00:20:05.000 I heard you say, yeah, yeah, yeah, we'll call you back. 0.99
00:20:09.000 That's the shit that I heard. 0.99
00:20:11.000 Listen, this next phone call can be ACLU or Jesse Jackson. 1.00
00:20:15.000 I just want to make sure that you don't find my condition funny, and that you're taking it seriously, and this isn't going to go in some suggestion box with a bunch of other angry white women saying, oh, 77 cents on the dollar and sh**. 1.00
00:20:26.000 I want it to go to someone who really understands the community that I represent. 0.85
00:20:32.000 Gender non-conforming, people of color, quasi-amputees, single income household with rickets. 1.00
00:20:39.000 No, I absolutely do understand.
00:20:41.000 And our black Hebrews are like, you know Jesus was black?
00:20:45.000 Did you know Jesus? 0.93
00:20:45.000 That's enough. 0.93
00:20:46.000 It's bad enough that I got to look at posters and paintings all over the place with Jesus looking like he just came out of an SS catalog and blonde hair and blue eyes.
00:20:57.000 Jesus was black. 0.70
00:20:57.000 All right, I'll let you get back to your day then. 0.70
00:21:06.000 Alright, Jesse, thank you for...
00:21:08.000 ...
00:21:26.000 Okay, and now we're here doing the Ash Wednesday.
00:21:28.000 It's just me, Quarterblack, Gerald, and Audio Wade.
00:21:33.000 And hey, Gerald.
00:21:34.000 That is a good color on you.
00:21:37.000 It is what I would feel compelled to say if it weren't the only color that you wear.
00:21:41.000 It's true.
00:21:43.000 It's true.
00:21:43.000 I do wear other colors, though, so maybe you're more colorblind than I am.
00:21:45.000 You wear the ones that your wife clears. 0.99
00:21:47.000 Yes.
00:21:47.000 And that's the white noise.
00:21:48.000 That is a safe thing to do.
00:21:50.000 It is the background to the Indian going, At night. 0.99
00:21:55.000 That's the other color you wear.
00:21:56.000 The Indian? 0.93
00:21:56.000 Wow, I didn't even know what that means. 0.93
00:21:57.000 Wow.
00:21:57.000 I'm so lost right now.
00:21:58.000 Never studied history.
00:21:59.000 It's like Gerald, unless it happened in his lifetime, it didn't exist.
00:22:02.000 Other than I'm a history buff, but yeah.
00:22:05.000 And you are not aware of the Indian Native American.
00:22:10.000 Powerful.
00:22:10.000 When television went out back in the day, it was just an Indian door.
00:22:12.000 I remember, yeah.
00:22:14.000 Oh, well you just acted like you didn't.
00:22:15.000 No, I knew it in that context, but you just said the Indian going out and I'm like, what?
00:22:18.000 Huh?
00:22:19.000 This makes no sense.
00:22:20.000 I wasn't 70 years old just watching TV until it went out.
00:22:23.000 Are you on drugs again?
00:22:23.000 A little bit.
00:22:24.000 Give me some.
00:22:26.000 Pass him over.
00:22:26.000 I am your host, of course.
00:22:28.000 I look like a hopeless butthole today, I should say. 0.96
00:22:29.000 I had to do a physical today for insurance. 0.99
00:22:32.000 Is there a hopeful butthole? 0.99
00:22:34.000 I said a hobo's butthole. 1.00
00:22:36.000 Oh, gosh. 1.00
00:22:36.000 I think he said a hopeless butthole. 1.00
00:22:39.000 Yeah. 0.97
00:22:39.000 It's interesting. 0.97
00:22:40.000 Sure.
00:22:40.000 There can be hopeful buttholes.
00:22:42.000 I don't know.
00:22:42.000 Before the big show.
00:22:43.000 Yeah.
00:22:45.000 Before the strain.
00:22:45.000 Okay.
00:22:49.000 So I had to go in for a physical, so I wasn't having, we had to pre-tape Smash Wednesdays because I'm not allowed to have any tobacco.
00:22:55.000 And they said cigars are fine.
00:22:56.000 I said, I smoke cigars, you know, like we do it every time on the show, so I don't want you to deny a claim because, evidence!
00:23:01.000 And imagine that if I go, I'm like, I would like to claim, well my wife would say, I'd like to claim my life insurance over my cold corpse.
00:23:08.000 And I'd say, sorry, you can't claim it.
00:23:10.000 Your husband was a smoker.
00:23:11.000 She goes, what?
00:23:12.000 No, he wasn't.
00:23:12.000 And they just go, click.
00:23:13.000 And every Wednesday plays on a loop, like a morphine drip.
00:23:18.000 Or fentanyl.
00:23:19.000 That'd be bad.
00:23:19.000 We were just talking about this earlier.
00:23:21.000 I said, before we went on air, I got two hours sleep, and I'll get back to my insurance physical.
00:23:30.000 I said, heroin is child's play compared to fentanyl.
00:23:33.000 And Audio Wade, God love him, he goes, I wouldn't use the word child's play for heroin.
00:23:39.000 I said, OK.
00:23:40.000 Let me be clear. 0.69
00:23:41.000 If you take a syringe full of heroin, and you've been doing it your entire life, if you were a heroin baby, and you've never stopped heroin, and you put a grain of fentanyl in there, you die immediately.
00:23:51.000 That's how strong it is.
00:23:52.000 Yikes.
00:23:53.000 I guess it's child's play.
00:23:54.000 There you go.
00:23:55.000 I'm not sure what verbiage you'd like me to use.
00:23:57.000 And it may not be exactly a grain, but it's like the size of a grain of rice. 0.99
00:24:01.000 Like, kill you with fentanyl.
00:24:03.000 Is it like an overdose thing, or is it just a completely different thing? 0.95
00:24:05.000 Yes, you overdose.
00:24:06.000 So isn't that what Michael Jackson was doing, though?
00:24:07.000 Seriously.
00:24:08.000 He was doing everything.
00:24:08.000 No, but there was one particular thing that he was given.
00:24:10.000 It was a sleeping drug.
00:24:11.000 I don't remember what it was, though.
00:24:12.000 Six-year-old.
00:24:13.000 Well, taking.
00:24:14.000 So I went in for my physical.
00:24:16.000 That could be an excuse as well, never mind.
00:24:17.000 And they said, hold on, they didn't really start the cigar.
00:24:20.000 You have to, yeah, light that puppy up.
00:24:23.000 So I went in, I had to do a physical, and they said, oh no, occasional cigars are fine.
00:24:26.000 I said, that's fine?
00:24:26.000 They said, yeah, just make sure there's no nicotine in your system.
00:24:29.000 I said, well, would I have it from a cigar?
00:24:30.000 They said, yeah, we think so.
00:24:31.000 I'm like, well, then are they fine?
00:24:32.000 Like, well, it's fine, but Don't have any.
00:24:34.000 Don't die and have nicotine.
00:24:36.000 So I said, okay.
00:24:36.000 So I went a long while without smoking any cigars or anything like that.
00:24:40.000 And by the way, they used to tell you that nicotine is as addictive as heroin when you're a kid.
00:24:44.000 I was like, I kind of would have liked to have a cigar.
00:24:48.000 I don't know if it's comparable.
00:24:48.000 Heroin addicts out there, let me know.
00:24:54.000 And then I went and I found out that I use this CBD, and I think we're having a CBD sponsor actually come onto the show.
00:24:59.000 Really?
00:24:59.000 What?
00:25:00.000 And it turns out that I am immediately put into the tobacco user category anyway because it's full spectrum.
00:25:05.000 Even if it's 0.3% THC, they filed me as a recreational drug user.
00:25:10.000 Really?
00:25:10.000 What?
00:25:11.000 So that goes from $6,000 a year to $34,000 a year for the plan.
00:25:16.000 You can test again in 12 months.
00:25:17.000 Thanks!
00:25:18.000 Thanks!
00:25:19.000 Are you serious?
00:25:20.000 You know what?
00:25:21.000 This is what's broken with our American medical system. 1.00
00:25:23.000 That's so stupid. 1.00
00:25:24.000 I called ahead. 1.00
00:25:24.000 I said, do I need to fast because I have to do this blood work? 1.00
00:25:27.000 And they said, no, you don't.
00:25:28.000 And I go in like, so when was the last time you ate?
00:25:30.000 And I said, 7 o'clock, which was giving me 12 hours.
00:25:33.000 And they went, ooh.
00:25:34.000 I was like, what?
00:25:35.000 I called in!
00:25:36.000 I asked you!
00:25:37.000 I called!
00:25:38.000 In!
00:25:39.000 And then the doctor didn't appreciate how fit I was.
00:25:42.000 Oh yeah?
00:25:43.000 Yeah.
00:25:43.000 What does that mean?
00:25:44.000 We had to do the recovery test, the heart test.
00:25:46.000 Have you guys ever done these things?
00:25:47.000 So they're like, get your heart rate over 100.
00:25:49.000 That's it?
00:25:51.000 And I'm basically a cripple right now.
00:25:53.000 My knee, both wrists, both shoulders.
00:25:54.000 So I'm like, I can't really do any jumps.
00:25:56.000 They wanted me to do squat thrusts.
00:25:57.000 I said, so let me just do this.
00:25:58.000 I'll just do like some light kind of shadow boxing.
00:25:59.000 I got my heart rate to 142.
00:26:01.000 Right.
00:26:02.000 And then after one minute they test it, it was 72 or 73.
00:26:04.000 There you go.
00:26:05.000 Wow.
00:26:07.000 That's pretty good.
00:26:08.000 I'm like, that's fantastic!
00:26:09.000 Give me this one! 0.99
00:26:11.000 I'm a recreational drug user, come on!
00:26:13.000 Yes, exactly!
00:26:14.000 Have you ever seen a CBD head do that?
00:26:18.000 So, he created a whole new category.
00:26:20.000 And they said, then their computers were down today, and they said, sorry, it's going to take a little while.
00:26:24.000 And I said, sorry, I don't have a little while, so that's why I kind of scheduled it on point.
00:26:30.000 And I was knocking.
00:26:31.000 The appointment was at 7 in the morning.
00:26:34.000 Yeah.
00:26:34.000 7.15.
00:26:34.000 So I assume they open at 7.
00:26:35.000 Sorry.
00:26:36.000 Right.
00:26:36.000 Like normal businesses.
00:26:38.000 Normal businesses.
00:26:38.000 And I go up.
00:26:39.000 I can see her in the window.
00:26:41.000 And I'm knocking.
00:26:42.000 It says, oh, she's not answering.
00:26:43.000 Ring the doorbell. 1.00
00:26:43.000 I'm like, well, I don't want to assume she's a bitch. 1.00
00:26:46.000 So I ring the doorbell. 1.00
00:26:48.000 She looks and goes back.
00:26:49.000 And then at 7.20, another lady who I had never seen before, who I couldn't see through the vestibule, comes out. 0.98
00:26:54.000 And I said, while I was out there, I was knocking.
00:26:55.000 She's like, yeah, we don't open until 7.15.
00:26:57.000 I'm like, first off, you could let me in.
00:26:58.000 Second, it's 7.20.
00:27:00.000 Yeah.
00:27:01.000 So this was my day today.
00:27:02.000 Do you typically schedule appointments as you're unlocking and turning on the lights?
00:27:05.000 Is that how you guys work?
00:27:06.000 I was early, and I think the physical that could have taken half an hour took an hour and 45 minutes at least.
00:27:13.000 Wow.
00:27:14.000 And I still have all the blood.
00:27:15.000 She spilled blood on my arm! 1.00
00:27:17.000 She spilled it on my arm that my elbow is stained with my own blood.
00:27:20.000 So life insurance, is this what you're talking about?
00:27:22.000 Or health insurance?
00:27:23.000 They're trying to take you out.
00:27:24.000 Basically, you guys are covered.
00:27:25.000 If I die, everyone here gets paid for a good long while, but I think it's actually harder for me to cover myself.
00:27:29.000 Do we have to still do a show?
00:27:31.000 No.
00:27:32.000 You get paid for nothing.
00:27:33.000 That's fantastic.
00:27:34.000 That's very close to what happens now.
00:27:35.000 I don't get to do that.
00:27:36.000 I hope you had a hell of a trip to Disney World, Too Cute Maddie! 0.99
00:27:42.000 No, seriously.
00:27:43.000 It's the most wonderful place on the planet.
00:27:44.000 I hope that you enjoy it, because I live vicariously through you.
00:27:48.000 What is the pairing of the week?
00:27:51.000 Pairing of the week is Olivia.
00:27:52.000 She is not Olivia.
00:27:55.000 And MacAllan, 12, I can't read it, it's so small.
00:27:58.000 Cherry oak cask. 1.00
00:27:59.000 That guy's full of shit. 1.00
00:28:00.000 Because Oliva is a brand, it's not a cigar, and that's why it doesn't have a picture. 1.00
00:28:04.000 And there are also so many different subsidiaries.
00:28:05.000 It's also, like, the most common name over there in Nicaragua.
00:28:08.000 So he's just picking, like, you know.
00:28:09.000 Yeah, it's like picking, like, Smith.
00:28:10.000 I'm having pop.
00:28:10.000 It'll be like saying Smith.
00:28:11.000 Yeah, my best buddy is a guy, Mr. Smith.
00:28:13.000 Who?
00:28:14.000 Which Mr. Smith?
00:28:15.000 John.
00:28:16.000 Yes.
00:28:16.000 Jacob Jingleheimer.
00:28:17.000 It's woo.
00:28:18.000 It's like saying woo.
00:28:19.000 His name is my name too.
00:28:20.000 Anyway, but I appreciate it.
00:28:20.000 And he also, it's not lost on me that you picked the Ron Swanson.
00:28:23.000 Sorry.
00:28:24.000 Did you just hit the microphone?
00:28:25.000 I did, yeah.
00:28:25.000 That was my bad.
00:28:26.000 Nice.
00:28:27.000 Give me some.
00:28:28.000 So, um...
00:28:30.000 Seriously.
00:28:31.000 All right, so you guys are sending in your video questions at lottoextender.com slash ask.
00:28:35.000 I was arguing with the audio waiter earlier before the show because he's a fan of Hitler, I found out.
00:28:39.000 I was like, what?
00:28:39.000 That's inappropriate.
00:28:40.000 That's so weird.
00:28:41.000 No, I'm joking.
00:28:42.000 We were talking about the war effort versus New Deal and what pulled us out of the Great Depression, and we actually both agree. 0.95
00:28:48.000 He likes to praise Hitler. 0.80
00:28:51.000 It's very weird.
00:28:51.000 I'm the sensationalist.
00:28:53.000 It really is.
00:28:53.000 It's definitely the uniforms.
00:28:57.000 If only you knew the punchlines that Audio Wade wrote.
00:28:59.000 He came in and I'm like, wait, you came in from, you worked at it.
00:29:01.000 You were, where did you work for this ministry?
00:29:02.000 I'm like, NV, you wrote this?
00:29:05.000 Okay.
00:29:05.000 Didn't make the cut.
00:29:06.000 I'm just going to make sure you cosign it.
00:29:08.000 Yeah, exactly.
00:29:09.000 Um, but, uh, I will say you have been a great surprise and Gerald, you are my professional life's biggest disappointment.
00:29:18.000 Yeah.
00:29:19.000 I think Wade is here to balance me out.
00:29:22.000 We love you, Gerald.
00:29:23.000 No, I'm joking, because we're going to be taking a stroll down memory lane as to how we met.
00:29:26.000 We will, but this is Moneyball, right?
00:29:28.000 What?
00:29:28.000 This is like Moneyball.
00:29:29.000 You have to have like a really great audio person now to balance me out.
00:29:32.000 Yeah.
00:29:32.000 Do you know Moneyball?
00:29:33.000 Here's the thing.
00:29:34.000 I don't want to say a really good audio person.
00:29:36.000 Well, you never did audio.
00:29:38.000 No, I'm just saying.
00:29:39.000 You do the Triadcaster, and half the time you forget to turn off the fade.
00:29:44.000 No, you are good.
00:29:45.000 You picked up the TriCaster really quickly.
00:29:46.000 That's such a tough deal.
00:29:47.000 Yeah.
00:29:48.000 I will say this.
00:29:49.000 We were back watching the Jihadi Bond intro, and it just said props by Garrett, because that was before I actually knew you were black.
00:29:57.000 That's right.
00:29:58.000 People think it's a joke when we used to ask you, like, what is that in Spanish?
00:30:00.000 You're like, why do you keep asking me?
00:30:02.000 I'm like, you're Mexican!
00:30:05.000 I didn't know this.
00:30:06.000 But you did that, I will say, I've never seen anybody put together props and it's the kind of thing you could lock me in a cell and I can't get out until I can make an R2-D2 like you did out of, you know, a bent back paper clip, some yarn, and a trash can.
00:30:21.000 I never get out.
00:30:22.000 Yeah, you're done.
00:30:23.000 It's like the Count of Monte Cristo without a third act.
00:30:25.000 I just end in the cell.
00:30:27.000 Dead next to some materials.
00:30:29.000 I will say this.
00:30:30.000 I do feel like I'm pretty consistent with praise with people, but I don't give any praise if it's not warranted.
00:30:35.000 So for example, I'm never going to tell you that you run fast.
00:30:38.000 Thank you.
00:30:40.000 But I will say this, too.
00:30:41.000 You know what?
00:30:41.000 Let's just do this.
00:30:42.000 We'll maybe go to some questions.
00:30:45.000 Can we pick the order?
00:30:46.000 Can we play the question of how Gerald and I met?
00:30:48.000 Yes.
00:30:48.000 OK, but let's not do that right now.
00:30:49.000 Here's one thing I will say that does impress me, too, about Garrett.
00:30:53.000 His swimming ability?
00:30:54.000 Hold on a second.
00:30:55.000 Someone else.
00:30:55.000 I'm very, very tired today and this is why we have the paywall.
00:30:59.000 Talk, Gerald.
00:30:59.000 I didn't like the cigar prep.
00:31:00.000 So you're like the MacGyver of prop making?
00:31:02.000 A little bit.
00:31:03.000 That was the reference, yeah.
00:31:04.000 Really?
00:31:06.000 That's what I'm seeing.
00:31:07.000 Steven, if you could say one nice thing about Garrett, what would you say?
00:31:10.000 Well, no, I just said that he did great props.
00:31:12.000 I'm just trying to see what you did.
00:31:15.000 But I remember, too, when we did the... I don't know if it was the first Crowder Confronts, the one where we did Open Minds of America at that Democratic convention?
00:31:21.000 Yes, it was.
00:31:22.000 That was the first one?
00:31:22.000 Yes.
00:31:23.000 So I remember this because, again, keep in mind, at this point, Cordoblack Garrett was... Just Garrett.
00:31:27.000 I'm a mystery.
00:31:27.000 He was what they would say like a featured player on SNL, but he really wasn't doing as much as he is now.
00:31:32.000 Right.
00:31:32.000 And we were there, and it got kind of dicey, where some people got physical.
00:31:36.000 And at that point, I just have my head in a swivel, and I'm going, OK, where are people who can possibly hurt me?
00:31:40.000 I can't necessarily be aware of everyone on the team.
00:31:42.000 And when I went back and watched the footage, I noticed some people who shrunk back and basically left a wide opening for people to just tee off on me.
00:31:51.000 And I see Garrett like a little John Belushi.
00:31:53.000 He's like, all right.
00:31:53.000 He's looking for it.
00:31:54.000 He's like, all right, all right, all right.
00:31:55.000 He was ready to throw down.
00:31:57.000 I have no doubt that he was ready to throw fists.
00:32:01.000 Nice.
00:32:01.000 He's a bold little wolverine.
00:32:04.000 I appreciate it, thank you.
00:32:07.000 No, and I will say, everyone, I mean, Audio Wade obviously is great with the audio, and then very, very funny.
00:32:12.000 That was just a total.
00:32:12.000 I found out that he was planning it all along, to write for the show, and he made me think it was my idea.
00:32:17.000 Inception.
00:32:18.000 That's good, too.
00:32:19.000 I'm very sneaky.
00:32:20.000 He's very sneaky, sorry.
00:32:24.000 And then Gerald Epps.
00:32:25.000 We've been friends for a long time.
00:32:26.000 You're a very sharp guy.
00:32:27.000 You have a great voice for radio, too. 0.80
00:32:29.000 Back when we were on radio, you saved our ass because I went, I don't even know how to project! 0.98
00:32:32.000 And you're a very low guy. 0.97
00:32:33.000 He has a good voice to come in, like, as a guest and have him just come in with some points.
00:32:37.000 Yeah, Gerald is a very sharp guy.
00:32:39.000 Very sharp guy who occasionally...
00:32:42.000 Meaning always steps on jokes, but that was my thing for a while like I did it so many times It was my shtick, but we're just rags a dental just like by the way bill. 0.97
00:32:50.000 Yeah, he'll only does it with people He likes like I've been on the phone with me, and he literally said fuck off and hung up I respect him so much for that, too. 0.98
00:32:58.000 I'm not joking at all. 0.92
00:33:00.000 And I call back, and I will apologize if I'm wrong.
00:33:02.000 And with Bill, I'm like, Bill, all right, I'm sorry.
00:33:04.000 What happened was he goes, well, OK, Steven, what's the solution?
00:33:07.000 I'm like, I don't know.
00:33:07.000 This is the exact conversation.
00:33:08.000 I said, I don't know.
00:33:09.000 I thought I kind of paid you x because you could figure out what was wrong here. 1.00
00:33:12.000 He goes, fuck off. 1.00
00:33:13.000 Click. 1.00
00:33:16.000 I feel like that's Donald Trump with the leader of China.
00:33:18.000 I swear to you, head to heaven, that was the exact conversation.
00:33:22.000 Yeah, I love it.
00:33:23.000 That's great.
00:33:24.000 He told me about that, by the way.
00:33:25.000 We love Bill.
00:33:27.000 He's the perfect lawyer for the show.
00:33:28.000 You know why?
00:33:29.000 Anyone can say no.
00:33:31.000 Bill is a great lawyer who finds out how to say yes.
00:33:33.000 I've gone through everything.
00:33:35.000 There's everyone here.
00:33:36.000 I'm really, really blessed to have the team that we have.
00:33:38.000 Really, honestly, I'm so grateful.
00:33:39.000 There's no one here who I dislike.
00:33:42.000 There really isn't.
00:33:42.000 There's no one here who... That's wonderful.
00:33:44.000 Other than that one person.
00:33:46.000 What do you mean?
00:33:46.000 No, there have been people.
00:33:47.000 But there's no one here, right?
00:33:48.000 No, no, no, no.
00:33:50.000 So that brings us to, let's, uh, conversation was how, uh, yeah, here we go.
00:33:54.000 Hey gang, it's Natalie.
00:33:56.000 Um, I was wondering how did you guys, how did you meet up with, uh, Gerald?
00:34:00.000 Um, it's always something that's actually been on my mind since we know, um, like Garrett and Maddie and a couple other people, uh, golden ticket.
00:34:10.000 Um, but as somebody who was from Detroit and, uh, Uh, French Canada, like, how did you guys, like, how did that friendship start or how did you guys first meet and stuff like that?
00:34:25.000 It's something I don't think you've ever talked about.
00:34:30.000 Um, I, well thank you very much.
00:34:31.000 Ashley?
00:34:31.000 Was it Ashley?
00:34:32.000 Natalie?
00:34:32.000 Natalie.
00:34:33.000 Natalie.
00:34:34.000 The question, was it Natalie or Ashley?
00:34:36.000 Something with an E. It was Natalie.
00:34:37.000 Miss E. Um, just don't go sailing with Robert Wagner. 0.86
00:34:42.000 Don't do it.
00:34:43.000 That's an old Natalie Wood reference.
00:34:44.000 With Gerald, as far as, Gerald is like, that doesn't exist because I wasn't alive for it.
00:34:49.000 I don't think so, at least.
00:34:51.000 He's still like a small child where when I do this with Gerald, look.
00:34:54.000 Where'd you go?
00:34:55.000 Yeah, he has no idea.
00:34:56.000 Oh, there you are.
00:34:57.000 Okay, he's back.
00:34:58.000 Don't even get me started on quantum physics.
00:35:02.000 Which, by the way, is also a lot of it is just religion.
00:35:04.000 If we want to talk about quantum theory and physics... There's a lot of faith going in there.
00:35:08.000 Yeah.
00:35:08.000 For every way the world could be, there is a world which is that way.
00:35:10.000 When I was in humanities in college, I drove my professor nuts.
00:35:13.000 I think that's the reason it's the only time I've ever gotten 100% on any assignment was my review of 12 Monkeys because he just wanted me to die.
00:35:20.000 Yes. 0.84
00:35:21.000 And go away. 0.96
00:35:21.000 Steven, it's the multiverse. 0.96
00:35:24.000 I like that movie, though.
00:35:27.000 So even, how did Gerald... I met Gerald, actually.
00:35:32.000 There was a girl who he liked.
00:35:34.000 Not at all, in fact.
00:35:37.000 This has been a running joke for like a decade.
00:35:39.000 Yes, we've talked about that before.
00:35:41.000 It was a birthday party, and people were more my age.
00:35:45.000 But Joe was hanging out for, you know, listen, that's fine.
00:35:47.000 I'm not that much older than you, though.
00:35:51.000 I will say this, I say this respectfully.
00:35:53.000 I don't mean this in a, you were older than everyone else there.
00:35:56.000 I was an elder in the ministry that was associated with these people, yes.
00:35:59.000 Right.
00:36:00.000 So I was about seven, I was seven years older than people, I think, like seven or eight years older.
00:36:04.000 You were, you were, you stood out.
00:36:06.000 Yes.
00:36:07.000 Put it that way.
00:36:07.000 Because of my height.
00:36:07.000 And so we were sitting there, yes.
00:36:11.000 And, or because of comments like this where you think that's like a great icebreaker.
00:36:14.000 Because of my height. 0.99
00:36:17.000 No, because you're weird and creepy. 0.95
00:36:20.000 It's the voice.
00:36:21.000 No, but you sat there and you were very nice and you were older and you were kind of at the end and I was kind of at the end.
00:36:25.000 It was mostly women. 1.00
00:36:26.000 I remember, yeah.
00:36:27.000 And I will say this, I've always been drawn to misfits. 1.00
00:36:30.000 And not that you're a misfit in general, but at that table, you and I were certainly misfits.
00:36:34.000 Yes, of course.
00:36:35.000 And so I just started talking with Gerald, and then when I was driving home with the girl who was our kind of mutual friend, I said, who's that Gerald guy?
00:36:42.000 He seems like a cool cat.
00:36:45.000 Maybe I'll hang out with him.
00:36:46.000 And just after that, I think I actually got your info from her.
00:36:48.000 Yeah.
00:36:50.000 And that was it.
00:36:51.000 It just spurred a friendship, and we're very different.
00:36:55.000 But I will say I've always had a heart for Misfits, probably because I've always been one. 1.00
00:36:59.000 I mean, I think everyone here is a little bit odd.
00:37:02.000 Or at least different.
00:37:03.000 Like, we have Smooth Manny.
00:37:04.000 He's a Columbian from San Francisco, and he's a conservative.
00:37:07.000 Like, he's a diehard conservative.
00:37:09.000 I worry about him.
00:37:10.000 Red-blooded boy.
00:37:12.000 And then you obviously came in, and the reason I liked you is we connected, and when you came in, like, you know, you weren't ready to edit.
00:37:18.000 We just needed an editor, and we're like, well, let's see if we can bring him back in part-time.
00:37:22.000 AudioAid, I don't know, he's probably the most polished person we've had hired, I'm not really a misfit.
00:37:25.000 So polished.
00:37:26.000 Even when I used to go to College Republicans, there was an event in Cal Poly, there was a kid, I remember, who had like an Iron Maiden or Megadeth, one of those.
00:37:35.000 He had that shirt on, long hair, and all these other people looked like, you know, Tucker Carlson, Bowtie Era lookalikes, or Ann Coulter minis, and I just spent almost the whole night talking with him, just because I'm going, how do you, this was long before alt-right, long before this show really existed as it does now, or Milo, or any of these people, you know, where it's sort of become, I don't want to say more hip, but acceptable to be conservative now.
00:37:55.000 Not much more popular.
00:37:56.000 I want to say, how do you get in here?
00:37:58.000 Because I was always an odd one out.
00:37:59.000 Yeah.
00:38:00.000 And then the next year, he brought me back to that school, and I didn't even recognize him.
00:38:03.000 He had a polo, and he had cut his hair.
00:38:05.000 Get that hair out! 1.00
00:38:05.000 Get the greasy, get the greasy pubes dash going again. 1.00
00:38:08.000 It's off-putting, but not to me.
00:38:10.000 That's why I'm here.
00:38:11.000 That's the only reason I like you.
00:38:12.000 I want to feel those guys, those guys get to feel safe here.
00:38:14.000 You don't have a greasy pubes dash.
00:38:16.000 Oh, wow, yeah, that's weird.
00:38:17.000 I like metal.
00:38:18.000 I like that kind of stuff.
00:38:19.000 I bring those guys in.
00:38:20.000 So do I. So it was kind of funny because, and not funny the situation that happened, but funny how things transpired after that because that person that was a mutual friend who I did not like, though you have said I liked and my wife has said that I liked.
00:38:31.000 By the way, great girl.
00:38:31.000 Yeah, great girl.
00:38:32.000 I want to be very clear.
00:38:33.000 But I was not interested in her.
00:38:35.000 She actually kind of predicted, this is one of the rare prophecies that anyone has ever, I just immediately discount them, but she told me that effectively, she's like, I just, I think that you're going to be doing what we're doing right now.
00:38:45.000 Really?
00:38:46.000 Yeah.
00:38:47.000 And it stuck with me.
00:38:47.000 It stuck with me because she wasn't just, she wasn't just someone who went out.
00:38:50.000 She said like, I really do think that what you're doing is important.
00:38:52.000 As I started this direction, she said, I think you need to stay in this direction.
00:38:55.000 Those people are important.
00:38:57.000 She also called, she called Hillary as your wife. 1.00
00:39:00.000 Very early on.
00:39:01.000 That's true.
00:39:01.000 To me.
00:39:02.000 That is true.
00:39:02.000 Because we were good friends.
00:39:03.000 So the whole story is that I was in ministry school with this group of people, and there was people that were way older than me, there was people that were way younger, but I served in youth as well.
00:39:12.000 And you taught specifically course in Islam?
00:39:14.000 I created a class called A Christian's Response to Islam, and I brought speakers together from different places.
00:39:19.000 Then I taught specifically on Islamic eschatology as it relates to Christian eschatology.
00:39:23.000 So it was really interesting.
00:39:24.000 I had a lot of background in that.
00:39:26.000 You ate Muslim snails? 1.00
00:39:28.000 Not Escargot. 0.89
00:39:29.000 That's a joke I would make.
00:39:30.000 You're better than that, Steven Crowder.
00:39:32.000 Wordplay.
00:39:33.000 But anyway, this person ended up getting in a car accident.
00:39:36.000 You sitting up there on your perch. It's really easy when you
00:39:42.000 My gosh, I love it. Okay. No, no this person this person was in a pretty serious car accident
00:39:51.000 And so you and I actually spearheaded like raising funds with different people that we knew and friends of hers
00:39:57.000 To buy her a laptop because she was gonna be at home for months recovering and you remember this is when I had
00:40:03.000 Very little money.
00:40:04.000 Neither one of us had any money at that point.
00:40:05.000 Do you remember when you almost hired me for like $20,000 a year?
00:40:08.000 Yes.
00:40:08.000 To do beer for your wine license.
00:40:10.000 Yes, I do.
00:40:11.000 And I was like, oh, I think I can do this.
00:40:12.000 Because you love beer.
00:40:13.000 Yeah, exactly.
00:40:13.000 That was way back in the day.
00:40:15.000 I needed the money!
00:40:17.000 Well, you had me as I was not Muhammad's wife. 0.97
00:40:20.000 That's true.
00:40:21.000 I mean, that's how broke you were.
00:40:22.000 You couldn't afford any talent at all.
00:40:23.000 I'm like, Steven, I don't know how to do any of this.
00:40:25.000 And you're like, well, just say this like a woman. 1.00
00:40:26.000 We'll put a burqa on you. 1.00
00:40:28.000 And we'll go to the public park and shoot this.
00:40:32.000 Behind the scenes.
00:40:33.000 Anyway, she gets into an accident and then you and I kind of came together to help put a campaign together to buy a laptop.
00:40:39.000 We ended up buying a laptop for this person.
00:40:41.000 She ended up being kind of heavily involved with your family and so I think that's one of the ways that our friendship connected a little bit more.
00:40:48.000 Yeah, because it gave us more opportunities to hang out and then we just kind of developed from there and then Ended up being in your your wedding and that was the first time I saw or didn't see Steven naked Do you remember that at the house?
00:41:01.000 So you get I remember I do remember our wedding Keep us in mind.
00:41:05.000 This is true.
00:41:05.000 We were in a house.
00:41:07.000 It was It was an accident.
00:41:07.000 My family had a house.
00:41:08.000 It was a big old house in northern Michigan.
00:41:09.000 Yeah.
00:41:10.000 And we ended up somehow in the dinosaur room.
00:41:13.000 And it was monkeys.
00:41:14.000 Oh, it was monkeys.
00:41:14.000 Monkeys, yes.
00:41:15.000 It kind of looked like Jurassic era.
00:41:17.000 It did, yeah.
00:41:17.000 Prehistoric plants, wallpaper, monkeys.
00:41:19.000 And we were in bunk beds and these were not, these definitely were not, had not been drop tested for adults.
00:41:25.000 Nope.
00:41:25.000 And so every time Gerald would move, I was in the bottom bunk, the bed would bow like a hammock.
00:41:31.000 Oh no.
00:41:32.000 I just had a nightmare of the second bunk collapsing on me.
00:41:35.000 I had a nightmare that I made it collapse on you, like right before your wedding, and I'm like, oh god.
00:41:39.000 And you apparently saw me naked?
00:41:40.000 So here's what happened.
00:41:41.000 You went to the bathroom, which was just right outside, and you had the light on.
00:41:45.000 I'm known for that.
00:41:46.000 And yeah.
00:41:47.000 So you had the light on and I was, I got up because I was waiting.
00:41:50.000 I was like, oh, I really gotta go.
00:41:51.000 So as soon as you were coming out, I would, but I saw in the light, I couldn't see you.
00:41:55.000 And so when you came out, you saw me and you're like, ah, and you were naked.
00:41:58.000 And I'm like, oh, hey, I didn't find out you were naked until the next day.
00:42:01.000 You were like, I was naked.
00:42:02.000 And I was like, I had no idea.
00:42:03.000 I couldn't see.
00:42:03.000 I still feel like.
00:42:05.000 You don't really see me.
00:42:06.000 I don't.
00:42:07.000 A lot of times.
00:42:07.000 That's why I hate James Cameron.
00:42:09.000 At the premiere of Avatar, you see when he walked up to this reporter, like at the premiere, going through the red carpet, and then he goes, ah, numakande, but whatever, something, numakande mana, and she goes, what, that means, what's the name of that, Navi?
00:42:22.000 That means in Navi, I see you. 0.98
00:42:24.000 And I was like, oh my, please shoot him! 0.95
00:42:28.000 Is he still working on Avatar 2? 0.99
00:42:29.000 Is that still a thing?
00:42:30.000 I think he's moved on to Avatar 9.
00:42:32.000 He's trying to work on all of them at the same time, which is taking him decades.
00:42:36.000 He'll probably die before that ever happens.
00:42:38.000 But anyway, that was really, that was kind of funny.
00:42:40.000 That week, I think, is where our friendship really kind of grew a lot, because we spent a ton of time around each other.
00:42:46.000 Well, I think it's also why we, good examples, comparing that to your wedding, how we sort of counterbalance each other as friends, because you remember how nervous I was.
00:42:53.000 Yes.
00:42:54.000 I was like, I'm going to throw up.
00:42:55.000 But the Bane voice came in really handy during that entire week.
00:42:57.000 This was the summer of the Dark Knight Rises.
00:42:59.000 I will tell you this one.
00:43:02.000 People are like, oh, if you know it's the right person, you'll just know and it'll feel right.
00:43:05.000 Nothing for me ever feels right.
00:43:07.000 Ever.
00:43:08.000 Before I do a show, every single show, I want to leave and quit.
00:43:12.000 And I feel like I'm going to screw it up.
00:43:13.000 Before every major decision, I feel all this pressure.
00:43:15.000 It's just been something that I've had to struggle with and kind of balance.
00:43:19.000 That's why I need people who I trust in my circle to say, objectively, this is the right decision to make.
00:43:25.000 Whereas in your wedding, you're like, no, I'm good.
00:43:26.000 I'm like, oh, well, you know.
00:43:27.000 I waited a long time.
00:43:28.000 That's nice.
00:43:30.000 Exactly.
00:43:31.000 I didn't know what to expect.
00:43:32.000 I thought maybe I would be a little bit more nervous.
00:43:34.000 Not about the person, for sure, but just the enormity of the event.
00:43:37.000 But I was just like, oh, well.
00:43:39.000 Were you all nervous at your wedding?
00:43:40.000 I wasn't at all.
00:43:42.000 No?
00:43:42.000 No.
00:43:42.000 Just me.
00:43:43.000 Just you, man.
00:43:43.000 Sorry.
00:43:44.000 I should also mention that my wife was horribly abusive physically. 0.97
00:43:48.000 Oh.
00:43:49.000 That seems relatively wrong to me.
00:43:50.000 I didn't so much have cold feet as I was numb.
00:43:53.000 She threatened bodily harm.
00:43:55.000 Yeah.
00:43:55.000 If you messed anything up.
00:43:56.000 No, it's just listen different different folks.
00:43:58.000 Were you about to say something?
00:43:59.000 We do have another question.
00:44:00.000 Oh, okay.
00:44:00.000 One more question then we have to go.
00:44:02.000 All right.
00:44:02.000 All right.
00:44:04.000 Here we go.
00:44:08.000 Happy Ash Wednesday boys.
00:44:10.000 That's the best I can do because I'm a Mormon.
00:44:14.000 I just want to say I appreciate this show so much and Like seriously, thanks for the entertainment and enlightenment.
00:44:23.000 Crowder, you're my hero, right alongside the Cheeto Dust legend himself.
00:44:30.000 I have a multi-layered question that I want to ask.
00:44:33.000 You guys can decide how deep you want to dive, but headlining question being, are you guys car enthusiasts?
00:44:41.000 And then, what was all yours first vehicle?
00:44:45.000 And to top it off, who out of you Quarter Black has the most speeding tickets. 1.00
00:44:53.000 Alright, thanks guys.
00:44:53.000 I appreciate it.
00:44:56.000 Merry Christmas or something.
00:44:57.000 Bye.
00:44:58.000 Well, I appreciate that multi-layered question.
00:45:00.000 Just like your undergarments, Mr. Mormon. 0.99
00:45:03.000 By the way, Johnny Boy, if you're out there, see if we can push I have a call five minutes late.
00:45:10.000 I am not a car enthusiast.
00:45:13.000 I know more about motorcycles than I do about cars because that was sort of my luxury vehicle until I moved from Michigan to Texas and I wouldn't be caught dead in the freeway because I'd be caught dead on a motorcycle.
00:45:24.000 I just like a car that gets me from point A to point B, but we did get a company car.
00:45:28.000 We have a used Expedition, because we needed something that was safe, stable, big, and has an outlet, too, so you can plug in your laptop.
00:45:36.000 And we also had the secret shitty news van before that, but that's for sale, by the way.
00:45:40.000 It's still back there.
00:45:42.000 I love that thing.
00:45:43.000 Yeah, but I don't.
00:45:45.000 No, I actually do, but after I got into a car crash, my wife was like, you can only be in the safest vehicle that we can find. 0.94
00:45:50.000 Oh, okay.
00:45:50.000 That's a little rickety.
00:45:51.000 First vehicle was an 82 Datsun.
00:45:53.000 82 Datsun 200SX.
00:45:53.000 Nice.
00:45:54.000 How much did you pay?
00:45:56.000 Do you remember?
00:45:56.000 $652.
00:45:57.000 Yes.
00:45:57.000 Because I had an IOU for the 52.
00:45:59.000 The two.
00:46:00.000 Nice.
00:46:00.000 It was from a guy named Sun Savit in Inglewood.
00:46:02.000 He was Cambodian, and to his credit, he trusted me to pay him. 0.90
00:46:06.000 For the 52?
00:46:06.000 Yeah.
00:46:07.000 Yep, and I lived out of it for a while.
00:46:09.000 I mean, I lived out of it for a long time.
00:46:10.000 I slept in it for a little while.
00:46:13.000 I don't want to say I'm not like Jewel, where I was living out of a car forever.
00:46:16.000 I knew it was for a season.
00:46:17.000 I didn't have any place to land at this point.
00:46:19.000 I think I've talked about the union dues that I had to pay, and thank you again, Jordan, for covering those for me before I got into the set of Greek, where my character's name was Jace, but it might as well have been called Drunk Guy Number Two.
00:46:30.000 Didn't quite have the arc that my agent was anticipating.
00:46:34.000 That's my motivation.
00:46:35.000 But it was a Datsun 200SX.
00:46:38.000 Nice.
00:46:38.000 Without a driver's side window.
00:46:40.000 Trash bag worked just as well because it was California.
00:46:43.000 It almost never rained.
00:46:44.000 And I actually, I wish I had that car now.
00:46:46.000 It was very unsafe because I didn't replace the tires and I was down to the metal wiring.
00:46:52.000 I figured the wires grab a hold of the concrete as you go along.
00:46:55.000 I got like 38 miles to the gallon on that thing.
00:46:57.000 This was in California when gas was... Very expensive.
00:47:00.000 It was, yeah, $5.
00:47:00.000 Still is.
00:47:01.000 So, not a car enthusiast, but I like cars that, for me, a car is like an iPhone in the sense that I want a car that I enjoy, I'm comfortable in, it's safe, it gets me from point A to point B. If I could have any car that kind of fits those parameters, it would probably be like a Porsche Cayenne, used, just because it's an SUV, it's practical, but also really fast.
00:47:19.000 Yeah.
00:47:20.000 And in riding a motorcycle, you realize that speed is actually safety.
00:47:24.000 Having that power and reserve.
00:47:26.000 To get out of the way.
00:47:27.000 Yeah.
00:47:27.000 Because you do not want to be in a blind spot on a motorcycle.
00:47:29.000 So it definitely taught me to be pretty aggressive.
00:47:31.000 I don't have any speeding tickets.
00:47:33.000 None?
00:47:33.000 None at all.
00:47:34.000 I have ridden with you and you have sped profusely.
00:47:38.000 Is that the right word?
00:47:40.000 It's a white privilege.
00:47:41.000 And I've never—remember the other day when I was looking at Knock on Wood and I forgot the walls?
00:47:44.000 The walls and the desk.
00:47:46.000 I picked some faux wood paneling on something.
00:47:50.000 It was on John's iPhone case.
00:47:51.000 Johnny Boy's iPhone case.
00:47:52.000 They're like, how about just anywhere?
00:47:56.000 But not in a long, long time.
00:47:58.000 I haven't gotten a speeding ticket.
00:47:59.000 Have you gotten any in your life?
00:48:01.000 Two.
00:48:02.000 Two, okay.
00:48:02.000 Ever.
00:48:03.000 So a long time ago, but two.
00:48:04.000 And I didn't pay the first one, so the second time was actually the day of the Union incident in Lansing, Michigan.
00:48:09.000 My license was suspended because I didn't pay the first one.
00:48:12.000 And I forgot about it because it was a ticket that I got in my wife's car at that point.
00:48:16.000 I was visiting.
00:48:17.000 It was a city where I didn't live and a car that wasn't mine, and they posted it to an address where I'd never been nor had my wife.
00:48:22.000 I don't know what happened.
00:48:22.000 That's weird.
00:48:23.000 So I went in and they cleared it.
00:48:25.000 Nice! 0.94
00:48:26.000 That works out.
00:48:27.000 But for a while it was a felon.
00:48:29.000 I've known that about you for a long time.
00:48:30.000 Your first car.
00:48:32.000 So my first car was a, I don't remember the year, it was sometime like an 80s model Chevy Blazer
00:48:38.000 with 249,000 miles on it when I purchased it for $1,000 even.
00:48:43.000 I was very, very poor in my family.
00:48:46.000 My mom and dad scraped together some money to buy me a car, so I was eternally grateful to have a car.
00:48:49.000 I didn't care that the passenger side window didn't work.
00:48:52.000 That was me too.
00:48:53.000 Like the ceiling was like that thing falling down and you're kind of like bobbing and weaving around it
00:48:57.000 and pushing it up.
00:48:57.000 It's lost the NBC.
00:48:58.000 Pulling a Joe Frazier when you need it.
00:48:59.000 Yeah, exactly.
00:49:00.000 I'm just doing training in there.
00:49:02.000 And so if I could learn one thing a little bit more than I did growing up, it would be cars.
00:49:07.000 Like I just didn't know anything about cars at all.
00:49:09.000 My dad was a mechanic when he grew up.
00:49:10.000 He started working when he was like 14, 13 years old.
00:49:13.000 He was just an old soul early.
00:49:15.000 Had a job down at a local mechanic shop.
00:49:17.000 And then I, right after college, we formed a group and bought a racetrack.
00:49:22.000 Like a three-eighths mile NASCAR sanctioned racetrack that I was part owner of up in Ohio.
00:49:27.000 And it was Lorain County Speedway.
00:49:28.000 And it was it was not going down a rabbit trail and we only have four minutes well
00:49:31.000 But here's the thing for cars I started learning there a ton about cars and so I had to
00:49:35.000 work on cars and had to make the rules for all the Right, I will say you're actually a pretty you're a very
00:49:39.000 good driver, and I will say I am actually pretty I'm an aggressive driver
00:49:42.000 Yeah, pretty good driver. I am a wait now that I've done did the racing thing. I am way more aggressive
00:49:47.000 I'm super comfortable being close to you taught me the outside inside out
00:49:50.000 Yeah, which I didn't learn officially until I took my motorcycle class later. This is what Gerald was talking
00:49:54.000 about He actually did show me some of the driving tips, for sure.
00:49:58.000 AudioWed, what was your first car?
00:49:59.000 My first car was an 07 Jeep Liberty.
00:50:03.000 Oh wow, that's lovely.
00:50:04.000 That's not that old.
00:50:05.000 Not old at all.
00:50:06.000 Liberty.
00:50:08.000 Next time you tell the story, it was a Gremlin or a Pacer.
00:50:12.000 I'm a little child.
00:50:13.000 And yours?
00:50:13.000 1968 Ford Mustang.
00:50:14.000 That was your first car?
00:50:15.000 Wow!
00:50:20.000 It was a rust bucket.
00:50:22.000 I could see the ground under me when I was driving.
00:50:24.000 That's the best kind!
00:50:25.000 Like a glass-bottom boat.
00:50:27.000 Yeah, it was definitely a fixer-upper.
00:50:28.000 My dad got it for me so we could fix it, and we fixed it up halfway.
00:50:31.000 Oh! 0.60
00:50:32.000 Those are fun, though.
00:50:33.000 And then I broke down, and I was like, I can't do this anymore.
00:50:35.000 That's right.
00:50:36.000 Well, we also gave you, I think we charged you like $100, because I always want to get a car just so we could change the title, and you have to pay something.
00:50:43.000 The van, which air conditioning didn't work.
00:50:46.000 I never heard the end of that.
00:50:46.000 Not from you.
00:50:48.000 But it was great.
00:50:49.000 That car, the interior of that car was a, what, 98 caravan?
00:50:51.000 It was great.
00:50:52.000 Yeah.
00:50:52.000 It was like stepping into 1998.
00:50:53.000 The interior was brand new.
00:50:55.000 I loved that van.
00:50:56.000 And it was temporary, but he had a, you know, he has a whole troop family.
00:50:59.000 I was like, you know what?
00:51:00.000 We don't need this car.
00:51:01.000 I appreciate it.
00:51:01.000 We appreciate it.
00:51:02.000 We needed it.
00:51:02.000 And you can, the windows work, so there's your AC.
00:51:04.000 Yeah, I remember it used to, it used to, you know, I used to warm my heart when I'd see Garrett pull in.
00:51:08.000 I was like, oh, he's using it.
00:51:09.000 He's actually enjoying it.
00:51:10.000 Because listen, it's not, it's not cool.
00:51:11.000 It's not a chick magnet.
00:51:13.000 But it works.
00:51:13.000 But it was a car that worked.
00:51:14.000 It's practical.
00:51:14.000 And I've actually always liked minivans.
00:51:16.000 He's a quarter black and that's all we could give him. 1.00
00:51:18.000 Yeah, I actually wanted to get a minivan, except they're so expensive used because they keep their resale.
00:51:23.000 But I would gladly drive a minivan over an SUV.
00:51:27.000 I prefer SUVs, big time.
00:51:28.000 Yeah, me too.
00:51:29.000 I like them a lot better.
00:51:30.000 I like that they sit a little bit higher and they don't make me look as old as I really am.
00:51:34.000 I don't like the curves of a van.
00:51:36.000 I don't mind them.
00:51:37.000 See, I'm very practical with that stuff.
00:51:38.000 I just find them very comfortable.
00:51:40.000 I will say, though, the Expedition that we have, I don't know if we need to bleep that because then people might be looking for it, but there's so many of those.
00:51:46.000 There's a lot of them.
00:51:48.000 It is so comfortable to be in that car.
00:51:51.000 It's big.
00:51:52.000 It's beautiful.
00:51:52.000 You know, we got an older car, 38,000 miles, and you just realize, man, why would—I don't understand why anyone would buy a new car.
00:51:59.000 So, Mr. Cigarless Mormon, I appreciate the question. 0.97
00:52:03.000 I do like the idea of cars.
00:52:08.000 I just don't know a whole lot about them.
00:52:10.000 And I want to hear Garrett's ticket stories.
00:52:12.000 We can do that later.
00:52:13.000 They're extensive.
00:52:15.000 Garrett, you win, right?
00:52:16.000 Yes, I've got at least five.
00:52:18.000 I want to make sure we at least answer that question.
00:52:20.000 I've had one speeding ticket.
00:52:22.000 Every black guy I've ever known has had a lot of speeding tickets.
00:52:26.000 Uh, that tracks. 0.51
00:52:27.000 Is it?
00:52:28.000 Yeah.
00:52:29.000 Because I have this exact conversation.
00:52:30.000 So when I was in Los Angeles, before I bought the van, I was kicked out of someone's house who was actually a contact from the church where I went there and then I argued with him about Obama.
00:52:38.000 I think I know who you're talking about.
00:52:41.000 But then he was talking about being pulled over because he was black, and I was like, you just told me that you had, like, eight speeding tickets in the last two years.
00:52:46.000 It's the speed.
00:52:48.000 So, maybe it's not profiling.
00:52:49.000 Not all the time.
00:52:50.000 But, and then I went to the church that was primarily black, and all of them had a Thomas.
00:52:55.000 He had a speeding ticket ministry, you know what I mean?
00:52:58.000 So I don't know, you know, listen, I'm not asking you if it is, but they all, I lived with three different black families at different points.
00:53:04.000 I went to two different black churches.
00:53:05.000 One in, actually three, because technically it was two different forms of the congregation.
00:53:09.000 One in Jamaica Hills, sorry, one in Forest Hills, one in Jamaica, Queens, and then one in Los Angeles.
00:53:13.000 They all got up later than most white people that I know, and seemed to have a lot of speeding tickets. 0.58
00:53:18.000 Those are the things that I noticed.
00:53:19.000 I don't know.
00:53:20.000 DWB.
00:53:20.000 Just running late.
00:53:21.000 DWB.
00:53:23.000 No, we're just aggressive.
00:53:24.000 Alright, okay.
00:53:25.000 Well that, we really appreciate it.
00:53:26.000 This has been the Ash Wednesday and you know tomorrow's gonna be the live show.
00:53:30.000 Don't miss it at 8 p.m.
00:53:32.000 Eastern.
00:53:32.000 We love you!