Louder with Crowder - Abu Dhabi Disney, Confused AI and Other Jokes That Should Never Make Air

00:01:21.000 Well, you'd think Nick was running this.

00:01:24.000 Not today.

00:01:27.000 Wow.

00:01:27.000 Welcome to the host.

00:01:30.000 I've got to adjust my headphones here.

00:01:32.000 Sometimes, some of these shows, or I should say some of these stories in these shows, it's ones that you don't see, because they did not make air, and they absolutely should not have made air.

00:01:47.000 There are jokes, there are stories, there are bits, I know.

00:01:53.000 And then sometimes you end up with two.

00:01:55.000 There's a seven plus one.

00:01:56.000 And just so you can see how often there's a seven minus one because we couldn't even get to the seven, let alone the plus one.

00:02:03.000 And sometimes it's because it's too offensive.

00:02:05.000 Sometimes it's because it's not good.

00:02:06.000 Sometimes it's just because we don't want to deal with the backlash.

00:02:10.000 And so instead, we put it all in one show for a concentrated dose of offense.

00:02:18.000 It's time for a scrapyard.

00:02:22.000 All right.

00:02:24.000 See, you can see the intro.

00:02:25.000 Like, that's how much work we put into it.

00:02:30.000 Please, lower your expectations.

00:02:32.000 Now.

00:02:32.000 But it is 11 a.m. Eastern, so we are still here.

00:02:34.000 Captain Morgan, CEO, how are you, sir?

00:02:36.000 I'm blinded by the light.

00:02:37.000 I'm good.

00:02:37.000 How are you?

00:02:38.000 Oh, you have a new light?

00:02:39.000 No, I just had one turned on.

00:02:41.000 Well, didn't you always have that light?

00:02:42.000 Well, no.

00:02:43.000 One of them was just turned on that wasn't on.

00:02:45.000 The key is, Gerald, specifically for you, walk toward it.

00:02:48.000 And when you hear him, you know him, you love him.

00:02:51.000 He's not on X because it's...

00:02:54.000 Not underscore Firestein.

00:02:56.000 It's not your X. It's not technically me.

00:02:58.000 Yeah, it's not you.

00:02:58.000 But it is a good page.

00:03:00.000 Yep.

00:03:01.000 Sometimes things get put up.

00:03:02.000 Sometimes things get put up and you don't even know.

00:03:04.000 I have no control, but I enjoy following it.

00:03:06.000 Yeah, me too.

00:03:07.000 It's one of my favorites, but I'm as surprised as you are.

00:03:10.000 We've got to get to the bottom of this.

00:03:12.000 Who is he?

00:03:12.000 We're also going to get to some BTS a little bit later on.

00:03:14.000 BTS means behind the scenes.

00:03:16.000 Did you guys know that?

00:03:17.000 I thought it was back to scooters.

00:03:20.000 That doesn't make sense.

00:03:24.000 Put the handlebars back on the skateboards, is what I say.

00:03:28.000 It's not as tough of a song.

00:03:29.000 I can push my scooter with no handlebars.

00:03:32.000 No handlebars.

00:03:36.000 Alright, we don't often show some of these, like, you know, we do like a quick watch and react.

00:03:40.000 And by the way, sometimes I hate doing watch and reacts because so many people online just watch and there's no way to even react.

00:03:44.000 They just play something and go like, mmm, that's true.

00:03:47.000 Five million plays, you're like, oh, it's just, that's because you didn't put yourself in the thumbnail.

00:03:52.000 And then you injected yourself and then I'm like, oh, this person's doing it?

00:03:55.000 So, we still have one here.

00:03:57.000 I don't know why this didn't make air, but this is the Breakfast World Restaurant in Chiang Mai.

00:04:04.000 Thailand.

00:04:05.000 I guess it has a unique way for guests to get discounts on meals.

00:04:10.000 I don't think you tried hard enough.

00:04:12.000 I'm paying full price.

00:04:14.000 Is that your friend?

00:04:15.000 Yeah, I told him oatmeal.

00:04:16.000 So if they can fit through the bars, they get a discount.

00:04:19.000 You need some butter.

00:04:20.000 Yes.

00:04:20.000 I think I have to pay double.

00:04:22.000 We butter you up here.

00:04:24.000 Can you do ten?

00:04:28.000 Hold on, he's doing it.

00:04:30.000 Oh my gosh.

00:04:31.000 What if he gets stuck?

00:04:32.000 He's gonna take the whole thing.

00:04:33.000 Stuck?

00:04:34.000 I'm rooting for him.

00:04:34.000 Stuck!

00:04:35.000 He's stuck!

00:04:36.000 Are you allowed to assist?

00:04:37.000 Can I get pushed through?

00:04:39.000 You're good for five, she already said.

00:04:41.000 Said you're good looking, five's good.

00:04:42.000 No, I have to do this.

00:04:46.000 And right after that, a tiny Thai lady just went over, under, and through. 1.00

00:04:52.000 By the way, can we also just acknowledge the fact that it's very cruel to laugh? 0.97

00:04:58.000 at Super Grover, who's clearly retarded. 0.98

00:04:59.000 He's got his leather helmet, and he just does... 0.90

00:05:05.000 I think it's fun.

00:05:06.000 I don't think that's retarded. 1.00

00:05:07.000 I think that's...

00:05:11.000 Okay.

00:05:12.000 And you can't control that.

00:05:13.000 Severe CTE.

00:05:14.000 Yeah, it's something different.

00:05:15.000 Either way, we shouldn't be laughing at him.

00:05:16.000 No, I think you can laugh at him.

00:05:20.000 I smell pennies!

00:05:28.000 I think you taste them, but either way.

00:05:29.000 You don't know.

00:05:30.000 You smell and you taste them.

00:05:31.000 You smell burnt toast because I think 70% of taste is smelling.

00:05:35.000 I don't know.

00:05:36.000 But Thailand, you get to those bars, you get a discount.

00:05:39.000 I now know why we didn't run this.

00:05:40.000 Some women may need to be careful when trying to take advantage of the offer. 1.00

00:05:47.000 I don't think your boobers are going to go through that.

00:05:49.000 Yeah, okay, you said what everyone said. 0.87

00:05:51.000 The whole restaurant's stinking.

00:05:52.000 I went for the... 0.75

00:05:53.000 What?

00:05:53.000 You did not...

00:05:57.000 15. Did you get through the 15?

00:06:01.000 Yeah, twice.

00:06:02.000 Did you get through?

00:06:03.000 I know.

00:06:04.000 Through the 15. After that, there was just a hanging cutlet.

00:06:07.000 Like, aye!

00:06:08.000 Aye!

00:06:08.000 You left your bitty!

00:06:10.000 It'd be fun if they put blades on those. 0.89

00:06:12.000 Like, you really gotta fit through.

00:06:13.000 Yeah, that would be murder, Gerald.

00:06:15.000 No, not really.

00:06:16.000 You're doing it to yourself.

00:06:17.000 Leave it to him.

00:06:17.000 You know what would be fun?

00:06:18.000 Would be first-degree murder.

00:06:21.000 He's arguing that it would be suicide.

00:06:22.000 Yeah, severe macerations at breakfast.

00:06:24.000 That's my whole point.

00:06:25.000 Yeah, well, you know, that'll be a good way for them to maintain.

00:06:28.000 They actually do a 4.5 out of 5 rating on TripAdvisor.

00:06:32.000 And here's the funny thing.

00:06:33.000 That reminds me of a place in Austin that had a patio, and I was going with Johnny Boy, because they allowed you to smoke cigars outside.

00:06:39.000 And they carded you when you get in.

00:06:41.000 So me and Johnny would go, hey, can we see your card?

00:06:42.000 And we had Jeff here.

00:06:44.000 You know, Jeff.

00:06:45.000 We love Jeff.

00:06:46.000 Sovereign citizen.

00:06:48.000 He has a little bit of a short fuse, though.

00:06:51.000 And it's funny, you wouldn't know, because he's super, super sweet.

00:06:53.000 But then when you see it, you're like, oh, no.

00:06:56.000 We get a card.

00:06:56.000 He goes, "Hey, would you like to see my card?" He goes, not unless it's an AARP.

00:07:04.000 Don't kill him!" And Jeff can fight. 0.93

00:07:06.000 Jeff's one of the original black belts under the Machado brothers in the United States.

00:07:11.000 And then he was still sitting there.

00:07:12.000 We're like, "Relax." And I'm in a cigar.

00:07:13.000 He's like, "You believe that?

00:07:14.000 We said AARP." We're like, "Jeff, it's okay." It was a joke.

00:07:19.000 You are getting older.

00:07:20.000 But the guy was incredibly disrespectful.

00:07:26.000 "You think you're a bouncer?" We're like, "Don't murder anybody!" Can we go back to Gerald's morbid adventures?

00:07:31.000 Yes.

00:07:31.000 I think it's completely reasonable.

00:07:33.000 He wants to put, what'd you say, razor blades on it?

00:07:35.000 Yeah.

00:07:36.000 What do you have, a slip and slide with circular saws on the sides?

00:07:39.000 You gotta stay within the lines or you lose a leg.

00:07:41.000 Final destination slip and slide edition.

00:07:43.000 If you know about it and voluntarily choose to do it, that's on you.

00:07:47.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:07:48.000 It's the entrance to the restaurant.

00:07:50.000 It's not the entrance to the restaurant.

00:07:52.000 I'm really worried that he's not.

00:07:54.000 I'm worried that he's CEO.

00:07:55.000 He has a terrible business sense.

00:07:56.000 Not at all. 0.96

00:07:58.000 Kill off your customer base. 0.98

00:08:00.000 I just said it'd be more entertaining. 0.96

00:08:02.000 You want to have the cutlery booby trap so it's just some rebar?

00:08:07.000 You're the one that said there was a cutlet left on there.

00:08:10.000 You started this.

00:08:11.000 He wants the entrance to the zoo to go through the tiger pit.

00:08:14.000 If you make it past the tigers, you get him for free.

00:08:17.000 You can choose not to try.

00:08:19.000 You just walk into the gorilla exhibit and it automatically expels pheromones.

00:08:23.000 What the?

00:08:25.000 Can you take Harambee?

00:08:27.000 You get on an elevator.

00:08:29.000 And it slowly compacts as you go up.

00:08:34.000 Do you want to go to the 20th floor?

00:08:35.000 No!

00:08:36.000 At your own peril.

00:08:37.000 Yeah.

00:08:38.000 Listen, you get to make your own choices in life.

00:08:40.000 Yeah.

00:08:41.000 Well, he also did, his idea was the clock tower, you know, that ride at Disney World that drops into the shark aquarium.

00:08:48.000 He likes the escalator that the steps kind of flatten out if you don't make any time.

00:08:51.000 Yeah, exactly.

00:08:52.000 Your shoelaces don't get caught.

00:08:53.000 It's actual blades.

00:08:55.000 All of these things make perfect sense to me.

00:08:58.000 That's our Gerald!

00:08:59.000 Not to do them.

00:09:00.000 Well, maybe it would apply to these next folks we didn't get to this.

00:09:05.000 I don't know why, but one of our favorite segments that we do here and one of YouTube's favorite segments to take down... 0.95

00:09:13.000 The rebuttals to John Oliver, debunking some of the crap that he says. 0.65

00:09:17.000 So a little while back, and there must have been something breaking in the news, he was talking about trans athletes, and he made this claim in real life, in real time. 0.97

00:09:27.000 There's a big number that you tend to hear a lot.

00:09:31.000 Listen to this.

00:09:32.000 A shocking report from the United Nations states over 600 female athletes have lost close to 900 medals to transgender opponents.

00:09:41.000 We got curious about that number.

00:09:43.000 So we looked at that report and it turns out first it wasn't produced by the UN.

00:09:46.000 It was submitted to it by a special rapporteur who herself said its findings do not necessarily represent those of the UN.

00:09:53.000 And if you go online to the footnote that it cites and click on it, you get sent to this website.

00:09:59.000 She won.

00:10:00.000 Where anyone could submit an instance of a cis woman losing to a trans woman anywhere in the world, in any competition, big or small and as if that weren't enough the way they got to that 900 that just seems accurate has to do with how they counted the wins because on the list one trans woman finishing first counters three denied medals right the logic the second place finisher should have come first the That's also true. 0.86

00:10:26.000 Yes, said every person who's ever competed in organized sports ever.

00:10:30.000 Did you hear the boos from all the losers in the audience?

00:10:33.000 Boo! 0.99

00:10:34.000 Boo! 1.00

00:10:36.000 That bitch deserved bronze! 1.00

00:10:39.000 Okay. 0.99

00:10:40.000 So, we had a whole rebuttal, but obviously we didn't go through that, and I guess it came down to, as part of the segment, we had a Photoshop that John Oliver was, he was replaced by Eddie Izzard, and it just didn't hit the mark.

00:10:54.000 Oh! 0.60

00:10:55.000 I think it hits the mark.

00:10:56.000 It's actually a pretty good Photoshop.

00:10:58.000 We just didn't have the right setup for it.

00:11:01.000 Yeah, that is on me.

00:11:03.000 I'm sorry.

00:11:03.000 I mean...

00:11:10.000 There's a scrapyard, people, like I told you.

00:11:12.000 Oh, you almost made it. 1.00

00:11:14.000 I am a pussy. 1.00

00:11:15.000 And that is frankly a wild thing to say. 1.00

00:11:17.000 I'm telling you, I am a pussy. 1.00

00:11:19.000 Sorry if this is how you found out, but I'm telling you that I am a pussy god. 1.00

00:11:28.000 That's my favorite stinger ever. 0.99

00:11:29.000 It is.

00:11:30.000 I love the end where his little nose is kind of on the edge. 0.99

00:11:33.000 Yeah, as if he wasn't such a piece of shit, he'd be cute. 0.99

00:11:36.000 Yeah, I still think he's cute. 1.00

00:11:38.000 He's rabbit-like.

00:11:39.000 Give me a carrot.

00:11:41.000 He's like a little koala. 0.53

00:11:42.000 And if he were my rabbit, I'd starve him.

00:11:44.000 Let's play the song again, that parody of So Why Anyone Watches John Oliver.

00:11:49.000 I like it.

00:11:53.000 It is fun to blame people.

00:11:57.000 Just want to play sports with their friends. 1.00

00:11:59.000 Just cut your d *cks off. 1.00

00:12:01.000 What did I do to deserve this? 1.00

00:12:06.000 I'm mediocre at best.

00:12:09.000 I really like that.

00:12:10.000 It's very good.

00:12:11.000 The funny thing is, every now and then in a scrapyard, I realize, oh, wait a second.

00:12:13.000 This was good, in my opinion.

00:12:15.000 You can comment and let us know.

00:12:16.000 In my opinion, it's just we didn't have time, and then at a certain point, it kind of...

00:12:24.000 It happens.

00:12:24.000 Yeah.

00:12:25.000 Yeah.

00:12:25.000 That's exactly right.

00:12:26.000 Full, just like your heart with the hatred.

00:12:29.000 Stop.

00:12:30.000 I want people to make better choices. 1.00

00:12:32.000 But you want to kill them if it enters to a restaurant. 0.99

00:12:34.000 What are you, the bad guy from Saw? 1.00

00:12:36.000 Yeah, exactly.

00:12:37.000 I don't want to play a game.

00:12:38.000 Yeah, we're going to wake up, make the right decision.

00:12:41.000 Hey, first off, you're eating at a restaurant in Thailand.

00:12:43.000 You're taking your life in your own hands.

00:12:44.000 It's the greatest food on Earth.

00:12:45.000 What are you supposed to do, not eat when you're in Thailand?

00:12:48.000 The greatest food on Earth?

00:12:49.000 Thai food?

00:12:50.000 Yes.

00:12:51.000 That's definitely wrong.

00:12:54.000 Thai food is some of the greatest food on Earth.

00:12:57.000 It's not China, dude.

00:12:58.000 It's not China. 0.99

00:12:58.000 Oh, yeah, why don't you pound that chicken as hard as you can, then overcook it and throw it in some shitty noodles. 0.99

00:13:03.000 Thank you very much. 0.96

00:13:03.000 But it is, I do, it's all right. 0.96

00:13:05.000 Why don't you throw a spicy one through five?

00:13:08.000 How about twelve?

00:13:09.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:13:10.000 I'm sorry, Guy Fieri.

00:13:11.000 Continue.

00:13:12.000 Oh, really?

00:13:14.000 What this means is some vodka.

00:13:15.000 Pow! 0.91

00:13:16.000 You're not going to find any Thai food at a diner driving or... 0.95

00:13:20.000 Whatever the hell.

00:13:20.000 You'll just find frosted tips littering.

00:13:24.000 Yeah, that's what they do.

00:13:26.000 It's like eating half of the milk and cookies.

00:13:28.000 You know, Guy Fieri's actually the chef here.

00:13:30.000 Look at the frosted tips.

00:13:33.000 Would you like frosted tips on your fries?

00:13:35.000 What I think is, Guy Fieri actually really does know food.

00:13:38.000 People see him as a gimmick.

00:13:39.000 He also knows cigars.

00:13:40.000 He's actually a really cool guy.

00:13:42.000 I went to one of his restaurants, I think, and I can't even remember where I was now.

00:13:44.000 I'll think of it in a minute.

00:13:45.000 He is cool.

00:13:46.000 It was actually very good.

00:13:47.000 I like that.

00:13:48.000 I think it's cool.

00:13:49.000 Dude, I also really love Smash Mouth.

00:13:53.000 At his restaurants, you know what he should do?

00:13:55.000 He should make chocolate french fries with frosted tips.

00:14:00.000 Yes, he should.

00:14:01.000 Wouldn't that be delicious?

00:14:02.000 Yeah.

00:14:02.000 He should, because Smash Mouth, the guy is dead.

00:14:05.000 He should take on that one.

00:14:07.000 Somebody once told me, hey, try the macaroni.

00:14:14.000 Craft just isn't the best.

00:14:17.000 Try the macaroni.

00:14:19.000 We mixed it in with some burnt ends.

00:14:23.000 That's true.

00:14:24.000 Take your barbecue sauce and your napkin.

00:14:28.000 That's like a whole song here. 0.99

00:14:31.000 You're feeling kind of dumb. 0.99

00:14:32.000 How about you try our damn yum sum and we got it. 0.99

00:14:37.000 We need extra napkins. 0.99

00:14:41.000 Is this a theme restaurant?

00:14:43.000 It's not.

00:14:43.000 I just can't help it.

00:14:45.000 Somebody once told me the eggs were gonna roll me.

00:14:52.000 Why don't you try our Southwest Ranch sauce?

00:14:58.000 There's some guy who's had a napkin.

00:15:00.000 He's like, I said over easy!

00:15:02.000 Oh, whoa, easy.

00:15:03.000 Hey, take it over easy.

00:15:04.000 All right, okay.

00:15:06.000 We have to make this song now, by the way.

00:15:07.000 Yeah, we do.

00:15:08.000 I think so.

00:15:09.000 We have to make this commercial?

00:15:12.000 Like, careful, it's, uh, careful, uh, dish number three is so spicy.

00:15:16.000 You might as well be walking on the sunset.

00:15:22.000 All right, Guy Fieri. 0.99

00:15:24.000 I think I would kill my- Guy Fieri, you are ruining your legacy. 0.96

00:15:27.000 Check, please. 0.99

00:15:31.000 All right, ghost of Guy Fieri.

00:15:33.000 He wants to check.

00:15:34.000 Check the method.

00:15:35.000 All right, what are you doing?

00:15:35.000 I want to leave.

00:15:37.000 Spicy biscuits and call them.

00:15:41.000 Walking on the sun buns.

00:15:45.000 Alright, alright, alright.

00:15:49.000 See, this is better than Scrapyard.

00:15:51.000 This is Scrapyard.

00:15:53.000 Okay, here's the next story.

00:15:55.000 Sometimes it's kind of tough to write comedy for all the stories that we cover, and sometimes we have some ideas that are funnier on the page than they end up being in the show, or in real life, or to average human beings who are not us, who are Sensibilities.

00:16:12.000 Yes, souls.

00:16:13.000 Yes, souls.

00:16:14.000 Empathetic sensibilities.

00:16:16.000 So they can't all be gems, as we found out when covering President Trump's order to have the IRS review Harvard's tax-exempt status.

00:16:23.000 And this was one of the jokes we had.

00:16:24.000 It's been reported that students are now referring to the president as the Grinch who stole their funding.

00:16:30.000 And it's like, it's okay.

00:16:31.000 Well, there's a whole backstory.

00:16:35.000 We were tired.

00:16:36.000 We were tired that morning.

00:16:38.000 Is that mostly the backstory?

00:16:39.000 Yeah.

00:16:41.000 What happened was we were looking up Harvard stuff.

00:16:44.000 We're like, okay, Trump's taking away this, he's taking away that, he's taking away that.

00:16:47.000 What else does Harvard have that he can take away?

00:16:50.000 We found out that Harvard hosts the Dr. Seuss birthday party in the Harvard Square.

00:16:55.000 And so we're like, oh, we should do a Dr. Seuss thing.

00:16:57.000 And then we forgot to link it.

00:16:58.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:16:59.000 Does it sound as dumb coming out of your mouth? 0.99

00:17:00.000 It's kind of... 0.99

00:17:07.000 No, that's what happened.

00:17:07.000 I end up making all these connections, and then you go, how did we get to this?

00:17:11.000 I don't know.

00:17:13.000 I remember we went through run-through that day.

00:17:16.000 You were like, yeah, I don't know.

00:17:17.000 Maybe, maybe a scrapyard.

00:17:19.000 I was like, yep.

00:17:20.000 Yep.

00:17:20.000 Sorry, I forgot that.

00:17:21.000 One of those kids' necks was unnaturally snapped backwards, too.

00:17:25.000 Can we see it?

00:17:26.000 Let me see it.

00:17:26.000 Really?

00:17:27.000 Look on the right.

00:17:29.000 That's because he went to Gerald's pool party.

00:17:31.000 Yeah, Gerald, if you hit the hot tub jets, an anvil drops on you.

00:17:37.000 At Gerald's pool party, you have to wash before you get in the pool, but it's a car wash.

00:17:41.000 Yes, exactly.

00:17:42.000 And he goes, alright guys, who wants to play Marco Polo, hair dryer edition?

00:17:48.000 I told you the rules beforehand.

00:17:49.000 It's true, you do.

00:17:50.000 Don't make a bad choice.

00:17:51.000 I saw the ride, I bought a ticket anyway.

00:17:52.000 I thought, by the way, you can't outfox the hair dryer in the pool.

00:17:56.000 I learned that.

00:17:56.000 Less than the hard way.

00:17:58.000 Here's another one.

00:17:59.000 Okay, we talked about Trump's tariffs.

00:18:01.000 And sometimes it can be tough to pack all the info that we want to present into an hour show.

00:18:06.000 Two hours, of course, if you're here on Rumble Premium or an hour 45. Just so you guys know, this show was always supposed to be 45 minutes and then 45 minutes.

00:18:13.000 And then we've always done an hour.

00:18:14.000 And it was supposed to be an hour and 45 minutes, but we often go an hour and two.

00:18:18.000 So the actual length of the show is supposed to be one hour and 45 minutes tops.

00:18:23.000 But we can't help ourselves.

00:18:26.000 Recently, we talked about this instance.

00:18:29.000 It was the courts were blocking President Trump's tariffs, and we didn't have time to set up some of the bits.

00:18:35.000 So here's one.

00:18:37.000 All right.

00:18:38.000 I didn't realize that we were going late.

00:18:40.000 We have more.

00:18:41.000 We do have more.

00:18:42.000 Really quickly, just, I don't know how this, show the Photoshop of Donald Trump as a pirate with Chinese pirates. 0.83

00:18:47.000 Don't even set it up.

00:18:48.000 Just go.

00:18:52.000 That turned out okay.

00:18:54.000 Yeah, he's seizing their fentanyl.

00:18:56.000 Pull it back up really quick.

00:18:57.000 I know we have to raid, but pull it up.

00:18:58.000 He's taking their booty.

00:19:00.000 Look at the bags!

00:19:01.000 Those are like the cheap Chinese food carry-out bags.

00:19:04.000 Look at me!

00:19:05.000 That's not fentanyl, it's MSG.

00:19:07.000 Same thing.

00:19:08.000 And by the way, that's the one that beat out the Grinch Photoshop, and it's still...

00:19:14.000 You know, some days are harder than others.

00:19:17.000 But here's the context for it.

00:19:19.000 The court's problem was with, you know, Trump having the solution to the...

00:19:26.000 And the court said a dam deals with flooding by holding back a river, but there is no such association between the act of imposing a tariff and the unusual, extraordinary threats that the fentanyl trafficking orders purport to combat.

00:19:35.000 So the translation, the tariffs are leveraged, but they aren't directly addressing fentanyl.

00:19:39.000 And so the setup was supposed to be this.

00:19:41.000 To meet the court standards, Trump would essentially need to stop the boats carrying fentanyl precursors himself.

00:19:50.000 That's enough.

00:19:51.000 Hey, that makes sense.

00:19:53.000 I like it better.

00:19:55.000 Sure.

00:19:56.000 I don't like it.

00:19:57.000 I like it better.

00:19:58.000 Do we have a stinger for medium old practice?

00:20:00.000 I thought we did.

00:20:00.000 Do we not?

00:20:01.000 Yeah, we do.

00:20:02.000 Do you have it there?

00:20:03.000 I can get it.

00:20:04.000 All right.

00:20:05.000 So, this next one is going to be something that Tim is finding the stinger for right now.

00:20:09.000 Okay, great. 0.90

00:20:10.000 You want to alley-oop that trash to me? 0.98

00:20:12.000 Okay, I'll alley you oop. 1.00

00:20:14.000 I don't know if I can do it, but...

00:20:16.000 I just looked straight into the light.

00:20:17.000 Now you're a halo.

00:20:19.000 Just, yeah.

00:20:19.000 Alright, ready?

00:20:20.000 Yeah.

00:20:21.000 No, that was bad.

00:20:22.000 That was pretty weak.

00:20:23.000 I missed the alley and you missed the oop.

00:20:25.000 Hey! 0.99

00:20:26.000 Wait, you missed?

00:20:28.000 Hold on a second.

00:20:29.000 Let me grab the mug and I'm going to do behind it.

00:20:30.000 We'll scrap it.

00:20:32.000 I'll catch it with my mouth.

00:20:33.000 We'll scrap it?

00:20:35.000 There you go.

00:20:36.000 Let's watch the show.

00:20:36.000 Do you have the stinger?

00:20:37.000 Yeah, I got the stinger.

00:20:38.000 Media malpractice.

00:20:39.000 Media malpractice.

00:20:48.000 So we're often testing out new tools here for creating content, different software, new equipment, as you guys have seen sometimes live on air.

00:20:58.000 That was a rough day.

00:21:00.000 Lately, we've been trying to use AI.

00:21:02.000 And to be clear, our policy is we only use it to take some of the minutiae out of it.

00:21:06.000 For example, like translating things to Portuguese.

00:21:08.000 Or if there's equalizing audio levels.

00:21:11.000 Because it still doesn't really have the same human touch.

00:21:13.000 But it can help you become more efficient so that you don't want to blow your brains out.

00:21:17.000 And a few months ago, we did touch on Greg Abbott and Colony Ridge.

00:21:21.000 I don't know if you remember that.

00:21:22.000 We came up for a song with it, but we just didn't have enough time.

00:21:26.000 To make a video for it.

00:21:28.000 And so since this is Scrapyard and we're not going to put a ton of effort into it, we just asked AI to do it.

00:21:35.000 You're paralyzed.

00:21:38.000 Is this rumor right?

00:21:41.000 I will check out.

00:21:43.000 Should we call ICE?

00:21:45.000 Were you in on this illegal hub?

00:21:52.000 I loved it.

00:21:54.000 That's the first time I saw that.

00:21:55.000 That's amazing.

00:21:56.000 You don't like it?

00:21:57.000 Don't look at me like you liked it.

00:21:58.000 That whole thing reminded me of the Toy Story octopus baby head.

00:22:02.000 Yes.

00:22:03.000 The end kind of reminded me of Team America World Police.

00:22:06.000 Yeah.

00:22:06.000 The animation.

00:22:07.000 Just so you know, we did the lyrics.

00:22:09.000 The song is a real person, but the video is AI.

00:22:12.000 So we put in a lyric and said, hey, can you make a video for this?

00:22:14.000 Let's watch it again so you understand.

00:22:15.000 This was just done by the lyrics.

00:22:17.000 So AI is going to overtake us all.

00:22:20.000 Because they can do this.

00:22:21.000 *Music*

00:22:37.000 Wait, I don't understand it.

00:22:39.000 Now that I watch it a second time, it makes no sense.

00:22:42.000 The only thing that makes sense is should we call ice and it's an old landline with a block of ice on it.

00:22:48.000 Hold on, but there's a tranny in the second scene. 1.00

00:22:52.000 Of the people on the couch, there's a guy in the middle with boobs and a mustache. 0.98

00:22:55.000 Really? 0.98

00:22:56.000 Wait, what?

00:22:56.000 You see, none of us noticed that.

00:22:58.000 Guys, okay, I'm sorry.

00:22:59.000 We have to watch it again.

00:23:00.000 We have to learn how to serve our great AI overlords.

00:23:03.000 Are we going to play pause this?

00:23:04.000 Yeah, let's play positive.

00:23:05.000 I could be wrong, but it looked like...

00:23:09.000 Alright, he's breakdancing.

00:23:12.000 He's not paralyzed at all.

00:23:14.000 He just was laying down.

00:23:16.000 And he's smiling.

00:23:17.000 He's having a good time.

00:23:18.000 That's a completely able-bodied man.

00:23:20.000 He's awfully happy about it.

00:23:21.000 He's wearing sandals with pants, which, by the way, we know somebody who does this.

00:23:25.000 Yes, we do.

00:23:26.000 One time we were at Costco and he goes, "Watch all the Indians with the sandals." Yeah, I know. 1.00

00:23:33.000 And where's my watch?

00:23:34.000 It's different.

00:23:35.000 Anyways, yeah.

00:23:38.000 I guess it's totally different.

00:23:39.000 Okay, all right.

00:23:39.000 Let's go to the next one.

00:23:41.000 Okay.

00:23:42.000 Oh, I see.

00:23:43.000 Okay.

00:23:45.000 I don't know if that's a trans person.

00:23:46.000 I think that might be just...

00:23:53.000 Look at the guy next to him.

00:23:54.000 Why does that look like Marv?

00:23:56.000 Like, post going downstairs.

00:23:57.000 It does, yeah.

00:23:59.000 And then Ben Affleck from Google Hunting.

00:24:02.000 There's James Franco all the way over on our left. 0.97

00:24:04.000 He's like, why does this guy have boobs and a mustache? 0.98

00:24:07.000 I'm telling you, it put a tranny in our video. 1.00

00:24:09.000 AI put a tranny in our video. 0.99

00:24:11.000 This is the best AI can do for this movie?

00:24:13.000 It's about the tranny live. 1.00

00:24:14.000 All right.

00:24:15.000 And I was the only one who could.

00:24:16.000 Well done.

00:24:17.000 Let's continue.

00:24:18.000 Not sure I like that.

00:24:20.000 Why is he a magician?

00:24:23.000 This is the Toy Story Spider Baby.

00:24:26.000 Yeah, the one that people are surprised, he's scared of.

00:24:29.000 Why is he throwing cards?

00:24:30.000 He's a magician of some sort.

00:24:32.000 Governor Abbott, wheelchair gov.

00:24:34.000 I don't understand where it got the...

00:24:39.000 It's very thin.

00:24:41.000 It's like the body exhibit.

00:24:42.000 Yes, it is.

00:24:43.000 Yeah, that's what I was thinking of.

00:24:45.000 Alright, let's see where AI got this.

00:24:48.000 Nightmares.

00:24:49.000 Should we go?

00:24:51.000 That one makes sense.

00:24:52.000 Perfect.

00:24:52.000 That one makes sense.

00:24:53.000 It's like a German sense of humor.

00:24:56.000 Look, we understand play on words very well, so what we'll do is we'll put the block of ice on the telephone.

00:25:02.000 Why is it in a kitchen?

00:25:04.000 No, but it understands what you're saying, because it's a kitchen full of Hispanics running. 0.99

00:25:08.000 That is true.

00:25:08.000 Why does the kitchen have a cassette player voicemail machine?

00:25:17.000 AI is like, I get you, but I'm going to do a little zag.

00:25:20.000 Okay, that makes me respect AI's game a little more.

00:25:23.000 It's a little better.

00:25:24.000 It's a little racist to play.

00:25:28.000 Okay.

00:25:29.000 Okay, so I get hub, hubcap.

00:25:32.000 But why is a cat eating salad?

00:25:34.000 It makes no sense.

00:25:37.000 You don't eat salad?

00:25:37.000 Have you seen a cat?

00:25:38.000 Yeah.

00:25:39.000 I like that it makes the cops, like, seeing that scene, they're like, we're just going to shoot each other.

00:25:45.000 AI said, okay, were you in on this illegal hub?

00:25:48.000 Clearly we need a cat eating salad and the cops will be California raisins. 0.99

00:25:53.000 Yeah.

00:25:55.000 And there's a hub in the middle of the wheel.

00:25:58.000 Yeah.

00:25:59.000 It's very literal.

00:26:00.000 Also, that wheel doesn't fit that car.

00:26:02.000 It doesn't.

00:26:03.000 No, it doesn't.

00:26:03.000 Also, if you're doing a car like that, that's usually on the back of those old cars where they had the wheel.

00:26:08.000 Right.

00:26:08.000 Yeah, everything about this is just...

00:26:16.000 Overlord.

00:26:16.000 Artificial intelligence.

00:26:17.000 I don't want to serve this master.

00:26:19.000 No.

00:26:19.000 They're like, well, wait until they can self-code.

00:26:21.000 Well, yeah, it's going to self-code into retardation. 0.99

00:26:23.000 What kind of salad do you think that is?

00:26:26.000 It looks like a garden salad.

00:26:27.000 Yeah, a garden salad with a vinaigrette on it.

00:26:29.000 Yeah, you know what?

00:26:30.000 Look, my problem here, my main gripe is not with the salad.

00:26:32.000 No!

00:26:33.000 The salad is blameless.

00:26:35.000 It's all of it.

00:26:44.000 Are these cops all brothers?

00:26:45.000 They look alike.

00:26:46.000 Yeah, I don't know.

00:26:47.000 It's like the California Raisins, but they just...

00:26:53.000 They were like, let's make this the stuff of children's nightmares.

00:26:55.000 Like brisk commercials.

00:26:58.000 Yes.

00:26:58.000 Remember those?

00:26:59.000 Remember when it was Spencer Stallone?

00:27:00.000 Get in there! 0.99

00:27:01.000 This is my team, mate.

00:27:03.000 What is it, break into a brisk or what is it?

00:27:05.000 It was a brisk.

00:27:07.000 They had a tagline.

00:27:09.000 That's brisk, baby!

00:27:10.000 That's it.

00:27:11.000 That's brisk, baby.

00:27:12.000 That wasn't bad.

00:27:13.000 Get in there. 0.99

00:27:14.000 It sucked. 0.99

00:27:15.000 Gosh, that was terrible. 1.00

00:27:16.000 Brisk? 0.94

00:27:16.000 Oh, it was just, it was like sugar. 0.94

00:27:17.000 Sugar and citric acid.

00:27:19.000 That's all it was.

00:27:20.000 I still drink it every morning.

00:27:21.000 Oh, I'm sorry.

00:27:22.000 That's a problem.

00:27:23.000 Well, they don't call me old Sir Josh for nothing.

00:27:26.000 That's fair.

00:27:27.000 Who calls you?

00:27:27.000 None of that is fair.

00:27:28.000 It makes no sense.

00:27:29.000 It has about as much connectivity as AI.

00:27:33.000 Billy calls me that.

00:27:34.000 Trying to stay on brand.

00:27:35.000 Yeah, well, he does drugs.

00:27:41.000 They don't call him meth-ed Billy for no reason.

00:27:44.000 It's a term of endearment.

00:27:46.000 We're never getting him help.

00:27:48.000 We like him just the way he is.

00:27:50.000 Just like Gerald said, you make your own decisions.

00:27:52.000 Yes, you do.

00:27:53.000 Yeah, what do you do if your friends don't get you help?

00:27:55.000 Because you're better on drugs.

00:27:57.000 Yeah, you ever know somebody that's like, they're a total drag when they're not drinking?

00:28:01.000 Yeah.

00:28:01.000 You're not yourself when you're not high.

00:28:03.000 Yes.

00:28:05.000 Try a bowl of meth.

00:28:06.000 All right.

00:28:07.000 So here's the next one.

00:28:08.000 Shortly following the 2024 election, we found out that former Vice President Biden, of course, respect the office, signed with CAA, the Creative Artists Agency, and we thought, hey, we can't imagine what project CAA would be pitching to Joe Biden.

00:28:24.000 Or can we?

00:28:25.000 And so that brings us to our first 7 plus 1. This is 7 plus 1 CAA, the talent agency, pitches to Joe Biden.

00:28:42.000 Joe, former Vice President Biden.

00:28:44.000 Number 7, The Big Guy's Apprentice.

00:28:48.000 Oh, okay.

00:28:49.000 I get it.

00:28:49.000 A little derivative.

00:28:51.000 Number 6, Gerald.

00:28:54.000 Napping with the stars.

00:28:55.000 Because he sleeps.

00:28:57.000 He's old.

00:28:58.000 Are the stars?

00:28:59.000 Yeah, he sleeps a lot.

00:29:00.000 7 plus 1, CAA pitches to Biden.

00:29:02.000 Number 5, Josh.

00:29:03.000 Mr. Biden's Neighborhood.

00:29:06.000 Oh.

00:29:07.000 Oh, God.

00:29:08.000 At least it's diverse.

00:29:09.000 Well, here's the thing.

00:29:10.000 Number 4 follows in that same vein, but we realized we couldn't take the Photoshop any further.

00:29:14.000 Number 4, how to catch a president.

00:29:16.000 It's true.

00:29:18.000 I was just getting something to eat.

00:29:20.000 Instead of bringing pizza, they bring ice cream.

00:29:22.000 Yes.

00:29:22.000 Take a seat.

00:29:23.000 Number three, Gerald.

00:29:25.000 Freaky Friday.

00:29:26.000 Yeah.

00:29:27.000 Oh! 0.60

00:29:28.000 Oh, that is freaky.

00:29:30.000 Actually, I would pay to watch that.

00:29:32.000 You would?

00:29:33.000 Yeah, I would.

00:29:34.000 Oh, boy.

00:29:34.000 That would work for me.

00:29:36.000 I would wait until it was on Netflix.

00:29:38.000 Yeah, I'd wait until it's on Redbox.

00:29:40.000 You still have those?

00:29:41.000 They went out of business now.

00:29:42.000 Yeah, they're gone.

00:29:42.000 Yeah, and immediately before, like, right before they went out of business, there were commercials pitching people on investing in Redboxes.

00:29:48.000 Oh, man, that's messed up.

00:29:50.000 It's basically mailbox money.

00:29:51.000 I know a bunch of people got fired because they went out of business and didn't get the last page.

00:29:54.000 I think there's a lot of people who also rented a hell of a lot of movies right before they went out of business to keep.

00:29:59.000 Yeah, we know you did, Gerald.

00:30:00.000 I said people, not me.

00:30:01.000 How many times are you going to watch The Land Before Time 4?

00:30:04.000 More than once.

00:30:09.000 Number two, Josh.

00:30:10.000 Are you smarter than a dementia patient? 0.64

00:30:12.000 Hey, I'm betting no.

00:30:15.000 Oh, we could have changed that to a different kind of patient.

00:30:19.000 Number one, number one CAA pitch to former Vice President Joe Biden.

00:30:23.000 Is it cake?

00:30:28.000 Is that Mikey?

00:30:29.000 Why is Mikey Day in it?

00:30:30.000 Because he's the host of Is It Cake?

00:30:32.000 Oh, is it?

00:30:32.000 Yeah.

00:30:36.000 The plus one pitches to Joe Biden.

00:30:38.000 The Walking Dead.

00:30:39.000 Well, that's just very literal.

00:30:40.000 That's been this week's 7 plus 1. You forgot Stefan in the chamber!

00:30:49.000 Now, sometimes...

00:30:51.000 What?

00:30:54.000 Is that a real show?

00:30:55.000 Yeah!

00:30:55.000 You don't know this?

00:30:56.000 Well, they just put something in someone's mouth and they ask them, do you think it's cake?

00:30:59.000 No, no, no, no.

00:31:01.000 I don't know it.

00:31:03.000 No.

00:31:03.000 Oh my gosh, it's...

00:31:06.000 But they have objects that look like cake.

00:31:09.000 These bakers make these things and they have judges come on and they have to choose.

00:31:13.000 They go, which one is cake?

00:31:15.000 And they have to decide which one's cake.

00:31:16.000 This is a network show?

00:31:17.000 And if your cake is good enough that they don't identify it as cake, you win.

00:31:21.000 So you try to make your cake look like the object you're supposed to model it after.

00:31:24.000 And if the judges can't decide which one...

00:31:29.000 Yes, that's how they do it.

00:31:29.000 Is it cake?

00:31:30.000 And then they slice through it.

00:31:31.000 See, Gerald's version, he'd put a human hand in the cake.

00:31:33.000 Like, is it?

00:31:36.000 I would win. 0.99

00:31:37.000 I would put like a real dead body. 0.99

00:31:39.000 Yes, I know. 0.99

00:31:40.000 Oh my god, what?

00:31:41.000 Of course.

00:31:41.000 Yeah, you just go find one.

00:31:43.000 And they're laying around in some cases.

00:31:45.000 You put that there and they're like, there's no way that that's a real dead body.

00:31:48.000 That's the cake.

00:31:48.000 And I'm like, haha, joke's on you.

00:31:50.000 That's one way to get a discount on your Penang curry.

00:31:52.000 So, sometimes we start at 7 plus 1, and then after a few minutes, we Well, I was just saying, because he's killing people.

00:31:58.000 It was a callback.

00:32:00.000 Sometimes we realize we don't have enough ideas, and so then we just ditch it, which brings us to this week's 7 minus 1. And, uh, wait, hold on a second.

00:32:17.000 This is, uh, oh yeah, 7 plus 1 Arabian, because they were doing a Disneyland in, uh, where was it? 0.54

00:32:22.000 Saudi Arabia?

00:32:23.000 No, I think it was Saudi Arabia.

00:32:25.000 No, it's Abu Dhabi.

00:32:26.000 It's UAE. 0.51

00:32:28.000 Are we sure?

00:32:29.000 Yes, I'm positive.

00:32:31.000 Alright, so 7 plus 1. It says Arabian Disneyland attractions, whatever.

00:32:38.000 Number 7. It's another Muslim call to prayer after all. 1.00

00:32:42.000 No, you have to sing it.

00:32:44.000 It's another Muslim call to prayer after all. 0.98

00:32:47.000 It's harder, I get it.

00:32:51.000 Gerald made the show better.

00:32:56.000 It started you with your intro.

00:33:00.000 It's okay.

00:33:01.000 I'm not faring any better.

00:33:02.000 It's a scrapyard show.

00:33:04.000 Go with it.

00:33:04.000 Number six, Mr. Not Firestein.

00:33:07.000 Space Mountain.

00:33:08.000 I feel like that's already a ride.

00:33:11.000 Oh, I see, I see.

00:33:13.000 Different Space Mountain.

00:33:15.000 Okay.

00:33:18.000 But I'm an ally!

00:33:24.000 You know what?

00:33:25.000 Just because this one's going to be hard to say.

00:33:27.000 Seven minus one Arabian Disney World Attractions.

00:33:30.000 Number five, Gerald.

00:33:31.000 Thank you.

00:33:32.000 Sheikh Mohammed Al-Mohamed bin Ziggiri's Toontown.

00:33:37.000 I actually really like that one.

00:33:39.000 It's Sheikh.

00:33:40.000 It's very popular.

00:33:41.000 It's Sheikh.

00:33:42.000 Number four.

00:33:44.000 Baraka Hadi Bawadi Boutique.

00:33:52.000 It's easier with you.

00:33:53.000 Just a little area to focus on.

00:33:56.000 I'd show her a street rat like she's never seen.

00:34:00.000 The caricature artist is probably terrible. 0.97

00:34:02.000 Street rat. 1.00

00:34:03.000 Tap ass. 1.00

00:34:04.000 All right. 1.00

00:34:05.000 Whoa.

00:34:06.000 Number three.

00:34:08.000 I got it.

00:34:09.000 Number three.

00:34:15.000 I don't think we ran out.

00:34:17.000 I think we said this is, like, This is too far.

00:34:21.000 Now it's dawning on me.

00:34:22.000 I remember we're like, oh, we can't do this.

00:34:24.000 No, I know what happened.

00:34:25.000 There's three more.

00:34:26.000 We put three more into the show.

00:34:28.000 And then one during run-through, you were like, Never.

00:34:33.000 Never.

00:34:33.000 Is it here?

00:34:36.000 Do we have that here?

00:34:37.000 No.

00:34:37.000 No, it's not in here.

00:34:38.000 Okay.

00:34:39.000 I bet they consented it.

00:34:40.000 No, it's bad.

00:34:41.000 Come on, we have to have it.

00:34:42.000 What was it again?

00:34:43.000 Just give me a hint.

00:34:43.000 Oh, dude.

00:34:44.000 You know what?

00:34:45.000 I don't even remember, but it was bad.

00:34:47.000 I remember we were like, that's just sad.

00:34:48.000 It was offensive.

00:34:49.000 Yeah.

00:34:49.000 It was really offensive.

00:34:50.000 It was like one of those things that rattled your head.

00:34:55.000 I remember that.

00:34:55.000 Yeah, I remember that.

00:34:56.000 And then one of them...

00:34:58.000 Oh.

00:35:00.000 Oh, you saw it?

00:35:01.000 Oh, no, but I...

00:35:03.000 Do you remember?

00:35:04.000 Do we show people?

00:35:05.000 Do we show people so that it shows a redeeming value in us where it's like, we didn't run it.

00:35:11.000 We get credit, don't we?

00:35:12.000 I'm not sure it works that way with clipping things.

00:35:16.000 Alright, here's what we'll do.

00:35:18.000 We'll finish this, and then really fast, we'll just flash it, show people what it is.

00:35:22.000 We don't have a visual of it, but I mean, it'll be easy for people to make one in their heads.

00:35:27.000 Okay, hold on, we'll do it after, and Noodles, I'll let you say it, but you'll say it really, really fast.

00:35:31.000 Okay.

00:35:32.000 Noodles gets to take this one?

00:35:33.000 Alright.

00:35:33.000 Yeah, come on, no one's after Noodles.

00:35:34.000 There you go.

00:35:35.000 Not yet.

00:35:35.000 Give it time.

00:35:38.000 Number three.

00:35:40.000 Arabian Disney World.

00:35:42.000 Ariel's undersea stoning.

00:35:47.000 They have rights for all ages.

00:35:52.000 And that means there's something worse than that.

00:35:55.000 And I'm forgetting it.

00:35:57.000 And the number two is Allah's in Wonderland. 0.62

00:36:01.000 Yeah, Allah's in Wonderland. 0.82

00:36:02.000 And we couldn't do a, you can't do a picture because you can't show Allah or something.

00:36:06.000 What was the one that we had that we didn't run?

00:36:09.000 What was it called?

00:36:09.000 Twin Towers of Terror.

00:36:11.000 Oh! 0.60

00:36:13.000 Twin Towers of Terror, that's right.

00:36:18.000 You forgot the van in the chamber!

00:36:20.000 You have to understand how Noodles did this to me.

00:36:22.000 He just goes...

00:36:25.000 LAUGHTER Yeah, but we did do one time, we just said, because nothing's ever, I remember in a show, we said, because nothing's ever gone wrong with Muslim pilots, and we just showed 9-11 footage.

00:36:39.000 Remember that?

00:36:40.000 And I was like, that's just a sad historical event.

00:36:42.000 Yeah, we were all like, whoa.

00:36:44.000 We were all like, whoa, and then Johnny Boy's losing his mind.

00:36:47.000 Yeah, he's losing his mind.

00:36:49.000 Yeah.

00:36:49.000 Oh, jeez.

00:36:50.000 But you know what?

00:36:51.000 It makes the point.

00:36:52.000 It does?

00:36:52.000 It makes the point.

00:36:54.000 All right.

00:36:55.000 I think that's about enough for Scrapyard.

00:36:58.000 So now we're going to move on to behind-the-scenes BTS.

00:37:01.000 Hold on.

00:37:01.000 Do we want to stinger out?

00:37:02.000 I want to see the stinger again.

00:37:03.000 What stinger?

00:37:04.000 Oh, Gerald, I didn't plan.

00:37:05.000 There's a stinger?

00:37:06.000 I don't think there's a stinger.

00:37:07.000 For what?

00:37:08.000 What stinger?

00:37:09.000 Do it.

00:37:10.000 Oh.

00:37:11.000 Oh, right.

00:37:12.000 By the way, Ariel's Under Seastoning, that one beat out The Little Martyr. 0.94

00:37:17.000 Oh, that's right.

00:37:18.000 That's right.

00:37:21.000 That was a good seven plus four.

00:37:24.000 Honestly, Ariel's undersea stoning, that's A-level material as far as I'm concerned.

00:37:30.000 We can actually say, let's do this, refresh a couple of them, and let's put it on the show.

00:37:35.000 No.

00:37:36.000 No.

00:37:39.000 Absolutely.

00:37:40.000 Hard no. 1.00

00:37:42.000 Pass.

00:37:43.000 But if we can find a way to fit in, and you guys will know this, so don't be like, oh, you're recycling it, so it's going to be an Easter egg.

00:37:49.000 If we can find a way to somehow fit in Ariel's undersea stoning, I promise you we'll do that with the show.

00:37:57.000 Yes.

00:37:57.000 I'll find it.

00:37:58.000 Yeah.

00:37:58.000 All right, now, speaking of which, there's a lot of work that goes on behind the scenes.

00:38:00.000 And this is also a reason, too, that Friday, because two hours is very different from just doing, you know, And on Friday, that's usually when we tape some of these sketches, and sometimes it takes hours to get into makeup, to go to location.

00:38:13.000 So there's a lot that goes on behind the scenes.

00:38:16.000 It's time for B.T.S.

00:38:20.000 *music*

00:38:32.000 All right.

00:38:32.000 Now, we're not going to have time to do all of these today, so you guys let me know which ones we think we really want to do.

00:38:38.000 But let me give you this first one.

00:38:40.000 So when we announced that YouTube is dead and Rumble did it, people all started canceling their live streams to YouTube.

00:38:46.000 Naturally, we had to do a parody.

00:38:49.000 It's the place where you go first of the Royal Tenenbaums suicide scene of Richie Tenenbaum, but with a mascot costume.

00:38:56.000 And what's funny is this thing, I thought, like, you know, every now and then you just take a risk.

00:39:00.000 And so many people liked it because they knew the movie.

00:39:05.000 Every now and then something works that you don't really expect, but it is hard to maneuver in those mascot costumes, as you can see.

00:39:11.000 Alright, I'm going to go ahead and roll camera.

00:39:24.000 Your subscription bell is shot to hell.

00:39:29.000 There's no turning back. 0.99

00:39:31.000 Censored and dull.

00:39:33.000 Fighting some hard, trying to try and debate. 1.00

00:39:37.000 But YouTube sucks. 0.99

00:39:40.000 That's what you've come to expect. 1.00

00:39:44.000 YouTube is gay. 1.00

00:39:46.000 YouTube is gay. 0.99

00:39:50.000 That's as close as we're going to get here, huh? 0.99

00:39:53.000 I'm going to cancel YouTube.

00:39:55.000 24th. 0.99

00:39:56.000 YouTube is gay. 0.96

00:39:58.000 Action. 1.00

00:39:59.000 I got shit. 1.00

00:40:02.000 Cut. 1.00

00:40:04.000 What? 1.00

00:40:05.000 I got shit. 1.00

00:40:06.000 Cut. 1.00

00:40:07.000 What? 1.00

00:40:08.000 I got shit. 1.00

00:40:09.000 Cut. 1.00

00:40:10.000 What? 1.00

00:40:12.000 I got shit. 1.00

00:40:13.000 I got shit. 1.00

00:40:14.000 Cut. 1.00

00:40:19.000 What? 1.00

00:40:20.000 I got shit. 1.00

00:40:26.000 Yeah, and by the way, hats off to, of course, the team that we have that actually made those mascot costumes. 0.99

00:40:31.000 To be clear, and Chris Pawlowski is the CEO of Rumble, great guy.

00:40:35.000 I was like, well, what are you going to do to advertise this?

00:40:37.000 He's like, I don't know.

00:40:37.000 What do you want to do?

00:40:38.000 I said, I have a few ideas. 0.99

00:40:39.000 He said, go nuts. 0.71

00:40:42.000 And then I sent him a picture. 0.68

00:40:43.000 He said, well, where'd you get those done?

00:40:44.000 I'm like, we did it here.

00:40:45.000 He's like, what?

00:40:46.000 I'm like, yeah, we're going to send you like 8 to 12 ads.

00:40:50.000 I'm also going to do a parody of the suicide scene from Royal Tenenbaums, but that's kind of, you know, do whatever you want with it.

00:40:54.000 He's like, okay.

00:40:55.000 So we have some new announcements that will be coming as far as adding to the lineup, and I'm sure we'll probably have to do some...

00:41:05.000 Oh, great.

00:41:05.000 Yours is a little easier to use because of the shape.

00:41:08.000 It's more symmetrical.

00:41:10.000 Yeah, it's easier to put on.

00:41:12.000 Yeah.

00:41:12.000 Although it's wider, so it's harder for me to...

00:41:15.000 I can't even get...

00:41:16.000 You know.

00:41:16.000 Yeah, that's true.

00:41:17.000 And I get my ass kicked in it. 0.99

00:41:19.000 Well, yeah, and I will say Josh is such a trooper with that because— Like when I had to do the mallet thing, you know, we had an actual mallet, and I'm like, Josh, okay, I'm going to do this on your shoulder I'm like, I don't think you understand. 0.99

00:41:31.000 Once it goes past this axis point, like this axial point, I cannot stop the momentum.

00:41:38.000 And then you hit me on the shoulder, and I was like, oh, God.

00:41:41.000 Yeah, maybe a good thing you didn't make you.

00:41:42.000 And we had a lady in there who was like, oh, come on, you're being a baby, because my arm was getting tired, right?

00:41:46.000 Because I have to hold it out.

00:41:47.000 She said, you're being a baby.

00:41:48.000 I go, okay, I can hold it.

00:41:49.000 I go, now lower it slowly without hurting anyone.

00:41:52.000 Oh, God!

00:41:53.000 There you go.

00:41:54.000 She fell. 0.58

00:41:54.000 She killed one. 0.58

00:41:55.000 This is men's work. 1.00

00:41:56.000 Got 15% off.

00:41:58.000 It's fine, though.

00:41:58.000 This is a men's.

00:42:00.000 Tight costume.

00:42:01.000 Oh, wait.

00:42:01.000 It just got removed here.

00:42:03.000 But anyway, you have the Blur thing. 0.99

00:42:04.000 So when we did the Blur parody too, we did the parody of Blur announcing the cancellation of YouTube stream and this lineup on Rumble, It's no small undertaking.

00:42:15.000 No one has ever done it.

00:42:17.000 And we knew that it would either work or fail miserably.

00:42:19.000 And we're glad that you guys really seem to enjoy it.

00:42:21.000 Appreciate it.

00:42:22.000 And, of course, Rumble is still working out some minor bugs because the increase in viewership and users has been unbelievable.

00:42:29.000 And if you're watching right now, please do.

00:42:31.000 If you haven't yet, download the Rumble app.

00:42:32.000 Update it on your phone.

00:42:34.000 And follow us there.

00:42:35.000 It really is the best app going and it's the best way to stay in touch.

00:42:38.000 So this is behind the scenes a lot of the work that went into the Blur music parody.

00:42:42.000 I haven't seen this.

00:42:44.000 Hey.

00:42:48.000 How's it going?

00:42:49.000 We're just here at the studio for a normal day.

00:42:51.000 Nothing going on here.

00:42:52.000 Right, Nick?

00:42:53.000 Nice to meet you.

00:42:58.000 All right, ready?

00:42:59.000 Yeah.

00:42:59.000 Action.

00:43:01.000 Okay, hold, Jack.

00:43:02.000 Riley, stop there.

00:43:05.000 Jack, come on.

00:43:07.000 It's a combination room.

00:43:07.000 I mean it might be good too if you kind of get like you know some of them kind of starting to zoom into the TV and you maybe see kind of over someone's shoulder where you know the sound of the room is going to drown out and be kind of muffled where it kind of becomes between Josh and T. What we have on YouTube now?

00:43:25.000 Steven Crowder, by the way.

00:43:27.000 This is why he's on Rumble, not on YouTube.

00:43:28.000 First thing you need to know about me, I take smoke breaks four times an hour, okay?

00:43:33.000 No, that shot's great.

00:43:35.000 Rolling.

00:43:36.000 Speeding.

00:43:37.000 And action.

00:43:40.000 Get YouTube back on there.

00:43:43.000 That's what we want.

00:43:46.000 I want YouTube.

00:43:47.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah?

00:43:48.000 Turn it back to YouTube.

00:43:50.000 Smash me.

00:43:52.000 Next time it comes up.

00:43:53.000 YouTube.

00:43:55.000 YouTube!

00:43:56.000 Do I have to take those stethoscope things and struggle around your back? 0.99

00:44:00.000 What is this bull****? 0.98

00:44:01.000 I don't even know. 1.00

00:44:04.000 You talk to your mother that way, you fat bastard. 1.00

00:44:07.000 Give me my YouTube. 1.00

00:44:13.000 That's a wrap.

00:44:14.000 That's it's gross.

00:44:19.000 Samantha Bee's not even on the air anymore.

00:44:22.000 I'm going to get one of those three.

00:44:24.000 That would be great.

00:44:26.000 We'll come back to be on the music video.

00:44:28.000 I love Rumble.

00:44:30.000 Roll sound.

00:44:32.000 Roll camera.

00:44:33.000 I am rolling on the flash looks.

00:44:36.000 Keep the music.

00:44:37.000 I love Rumble.

00:44:44.000 We're filming Blur Song 2 parody.

00:44:49.000 And am I supposed to be pretending this is a bass?

00:44:56.000 So now you guys at least have your working light set.

00:45:01.000 Is it super like, sad or you know, you're like Play around a little bit.

00:45:12.000 They kinda do like the plant for it.

00:45:13.000 Kinda like they're like moshing by themselves.

00:45:18.000 You're like looking down the whole time.

00:45:20.000 Yeah, you're too cold.

00:45:21.000 A lot of street gazing.

00:45:23.000 What about food gazing?

00:45:25.000 Food gazing.

00:45:25.000 We just had a...

00:45:26.000 That's the right one's right.

00:45:27.000 That's right.

00:45:28.000 We just had a...

00:45:58.000 All this love I can't believe is what I have in You're looking good at all!

00:46:06.000 All this love I can't believe is what I have in Thank you so much.

00:46:26.000 Now I know why I pulled my calf doing that.

00:46:29.000 We need a close-up of just the feet stomping.

00:46:31.000 I'm like, okay, so just keep stomping.

00:46:33.000 Keep stomping.

00:46:33.000 I'm like, yeah, go crazy with it.

00:46:34.000 So I'm stomping, stomping, stomping.

00:46:36.000 Harder! 0.98

00:46:37.000 More stomping, dammit! 0.99

00:46:38.000 I'm like, how much of this do we need to do? 0.99

00:46:40.000 Right.

00:46:41.000 The guy Gerald locked in the basement and was like, what's going on up there?

00:46:44.000 I know.

00:46:45.000 Well, that's willingly, by the way, because that's where he keeps his customers.

00:46:48.000 Oh, that's what he calls them?

00:46:49.000 That's where he actually keeps his customers.

00:46:52.000 Yeah.

00:46:52.000 It's like, yeah, yeah, you want to sponsor the show?

00:46:55.000 Walk through this razor wire.

00:46:56.000 Like, we've heard that you do this, Gerald.

00:46:58.000 We're not doing it.

00:46:58.000 Every single time.

00:46:59.000 We know.

00:47:00.000 We have heard the rumors.

00:47:01.000 Turns out they're not rumors.

00:47:02.000 Also, it's weird.

00:47:04.000 Sometimes we're always a little nervous because when you show the music video, just so you know, one of the biggest tells is if you don't actually make sounds.

00:47:12.000 So if you go, people can tell.

00:47:14.000 There's so much sound, we can't hear ourselves.

00:47:20.000 And I'm like, oh no, what do we sound like?

00:47:22.000 And it turns out we do sound a little bit like Super Grover.

00:47:25.000 So, you know, that's kind of how it ended.

00:47:27.000 That's been Scrapyard and Behind the Scenes.

00:47:29.000 *Music*

00:47:46.000 Protests continue across the country this evening, and we want you to know, of course, that though there are some individual protesters who are agitated, it is not the norm.

00:47:56.000 These protests are largely peaceful.

00:47:58.000 Many people look back at the demonstrations at Selma and wonder, what would I have done?

00:48:03.000 Would I have marched across that bridge?

00:48:05.000 Would I be standing on the other side?

00:48:08.000 Well, I have an answer for you, and my answer is a question.

00:48:13.000 What are you doing now?

00:48:15.000 Now, Tanya, how would you describe the attitude on the ground there?

00:48:19.000 We go now live to our woman in the field, Tanya Franks.

00:48:22.000 Tanya?

00:48:22.000 Well, Chris, first I want to say that was inspiring.

00:48:25.000 As far as the attitude on the ground, you know, folks are entirely peaceful, but far from happy.

00:48:30.000 Just imagine if every day when you left home, you didn't know whether you'd be coming back.

00:48:35.000 You might be a little upset, too.

00:48:37.000 Well, Tanya, in my line of work, that's always a possibility, but I know that many in the audience might not understand what that's like.

00:48:45.000 No.

00:48:46.000 Tanya, was that a man on fire?

00:48:49.000 Hard to tell with the flames, Chris.

00:48:50.000 Might have been a really muscular lady. 1.00

00:48:53.000 So, Tanya, um...

00:48:54.000 What are the people on the ground saying there? 0.99

00:48:57.000 Yeah, we gonna burn this mother f*** down, 313, b***h. 1.00

00:48:59.000 That's right, CBS is up for business, y'all. 1.00

00:49:02.000 Take what you need, motherf***ers. 0.98

00:49:04.000 A fitting tribute to the memory of George Floyd, Chris. 0.99

00:49:07.000 Yeah.

00:49:08.000 Yo, who dat? 1.00

00:49:09.000 Yo, that's a motherf***er with a grill. 1.00

00:49:10.000 Charged evening, to be certain. 0.98

00:49:13.000 Now, some people are asking, why is this happening now?

00:49:16.000 Haven't things gotten better?

00:49:18.000 But there are still persistent and pervasive inequities in this country.

00:49:23.000 And these protests are a reaction to that.

00:49:25.000 And aside from a string of isolated incidents, very small, things have been pretty peaceful, very tame.

00:49:32.000 Any final thoughts, Tanya?

00:49:36.000 Oh, uh, hello, sir.

00:49:38.000 Uh, what's your name?

00:49:43.000 I'm sorry, that was unfair.

00:49:44.000 Allow me to reframe the question.

00:49:47.000 Good, sir.

00:49:48.000 Where, might I ask, is Tanya?

00:49:50.000 Oh, she dead? 0.86

00:49:52.000 Oh! 0.60

00:49:55.000 Yo! 1.00

00:49:56.000 Yo, I got an Apple Watch, dog!

00:49:58.000 Yeah!

00:50:00.000 The language of the unheard.

00:50:02.000 We'll be right back. 0.98

00:50:04.000 *Sk* Sh*t! 0.99

00:50:06.000 *Bing, bing, bing* 0.98

00:50:09.000 So, how can I help you?

00:50:11.000 Doctor, my husband and I have tried everything to try and get pregnant. 0.98

00:50:15.000 Do you have any suggestions?

00:50:17.000 I do have something that's worked in the past.

00:50:22.000 Oh, oh, okay.

00:50:28.000 I think I feel something.

00:50:31.000 Wow.

00:50:33.000 Thank you, doctor.

00:50:35.000 You're very welcome.

00:50:37.000 Every time.

00:50:39.000 Paid for by the greatest president in the history of the world.

00:50:43.000 Side effects, frankly, may include being fantastic.

00:50:49.000 And now for Barely Legal with Bill Richmond.

00:50:53.000 Sponsored by Mug Club.

00:50:55.000 Hi.

00:50:56.000 I'm half-Asian lawyer Bill Richman for Louder with Crowder, here with some education and tips on the terms we use in the legal world.

00:51:04.000 Our question today comes from Dan McGovern in that hellhole known as East St. Louis, Illinois.

00:51:09.000 Dan's question is, what is the deal with the court names like Supreme Court, Circuit Court, District Court, and Justice Court?

00:51:16.000 And who in this is in charge of who gets to be a judge in each one of those?

00:51:25.000 Most of you have heard about a Supreme Court, which is the final appellate courts in both our federal and state systems.

00:51:31.000 At the very top in the federal system, above all the courts, is the United States Supreme Court.

00:51:35.000 You can end up here whether you start in a state court or a federal court.

00:51:38.000 It is the true court of law.

00:51:45.000 highest court.

00:51:46.000 Stay tuned for more Barely Legal with half-Asian lawyer Bill Richmond. 1.00

00:51:50.000 My little Tupac, my little Tupac, grab your piece and do rap. 0.94

00:51:59.000 My little Tupac, my little Tupac, we know you used to be a theater f***y. 0.97

00:52:05.000 My little Tupac, my little Tupac, we'll kick it with blunts and crystal. 0.97

00:52:10.000 My little Tupac, my little Tupac.

00:52:13.000 I love you, my little Tupac.

00:52:20.000 My little Tupac.

00:52:22.000 Each sold separately.

00:52:23.000 Each sold separately.

00:52:31.000 Brian Stelter, there it is.

00:52:32.000 Oh my God.

00:52:34.000 I see you enemy.

00:52:36.000 I see you, enemy!

00:52:38.000 Enemy!

00:52:39.000 Enemy!

00:52:40.000 You are my enemy! 0.95

00:52:43.000 You will pay. 1.00

00:52:44.000 Yeah, you think I don't see your face, scum? 1.00

00:52:46.000 You don't think I don't see you, Stelter? 1.00

00:52:50.000 Stelter.

00:52:51.000 You will fall!

00:52:53.000 You will not bring humanity down! 0.99

00:52:56.000 God is going to destroy you! 0.66

00:53:01.000 Get him off the screen. 0.98

00:53:05.000 Get ready for Now That's What I Call Trump.

00:53:09.000 In this compilation, your favorite president makes these hits his own.

00:53:13.000 Don't go chasing GDP.

00:53:17.000 The median income is a better metric.

00:53:22.000 And who can forget the Pete Buttigieg song?

00:53:25.000 Splish splash, they were taking a bath. 0.99

00:53:28.000 And it was a couple of f**ks. 0.98

00:53:31.000 Voted on by the attendees at the weekly White House talent show, this collection is sure to make you want to get up and dance. 0.99

00:53:39.000 Nicky, don't lose my number.

00:53:42.000 Might replace pets with someone else.

00:53:46.000 I might.

00:53:46.000 I haven't decided.

00:53:48.000 Support the police, because they work really, really hard.

00:53:51.000 News.

00:53:53.000 It's all fake news.

00:53:56.000 P-I-G-C. 1.00

00:53:58.000 That's how you spell Hillary. 1.00

00:54:00.000 B-I-G-C. 1.00

00:54:02.000 Send it in for Hillary. 1.00

00:54:04.000 Welcome to the sh**hole called California. 1.00

00:54:10.000 There's a homeless face. 1.00

00:54:13.000 Poop all over the place.

00:54:16.000 Lots of poop. 1.00

00:54:17.000 Now that's what I call Trump. 0.99

00:54:20.000 Now that's what I call Trump.

00:54:21.000 It's available on TV and cassette.

00:54:21.000 Call 1-800-MAGA-2020 for details.

00:54:23.000 You just don't know the struggle of being... 1.00

00:54:32.000 I told you, you stupid b****. 1.00

00:54:37.000 Sean Rumble now. 1.00

00:54:38.000 We're a rumble house, especially louder with Crowder, 11 a.m.

00:54:42.000 Eastern weekdays. 0.99

00:54:43.000 We're a rumble house, damn it. 0.99

00:54:45.000 No. 0.99

00:54:49.000 It's because you wouldn't stop talking about blaming the people in the tiny hats. 0.99

00:54:53.000 Damn it, Josephine, they only run the banks. 1.00

00:54:58.000 They said that about Cooja! 1.00

00:54:59.000 What do you do, you dark man? 1.00

00:55:01.000 *Dramatic music* *Dramatic

00:55:24.000 music* You need my way to make me oh so bad And I'm the only one to make it happen And if I tell you what I'm gonna do Don't you know it's really frankly true?

00:55:49.000 They call me...

00:55:52.000 Dr. Trump They call me Dr. Trump They call me Dr. Trump I've got the words you're dreaming of They call me Dr. Trump *Dramatic music* And even though I'm full of sin In the end you know I'll win They'll piss and 0.99

00:56:20.000 moan, yeah you know it's true But we all know it's cause they're just fake news So gubba please get on your knees Grab some pillows baby if you please Baby get ready if you're feeling chest And get ready to kiss And get ready to kiss My ass They call me Dr. Trump They call me Dr. Trump I've got the words you're dreaming of I've got the words you're 0.99

00:56:50.000 dreaming of I've got the words you're dreaming of I've got the words you're dreaming of I've got the words you're dreaming of I've got the words you're dreaming of I've got the words you're dreaming of I've got the words you're dreaming of I've got the words you're dreaming of I've got the words you're dreaming of I've got the words you're dreaming of I've got the words you're dreaming of I've got the words you're dreaming of I've got the words you're dreaming of I've got the words you're dreaming of I've got the words you're dreaming of I've got the words you're dreaming of I've got the words you're dreaming of I've got the words you're dreaming of I've got the words you're dreaming of I've got the words you're dreaming of I've got the words you're dreaming of I've got the words you're dreaming of I've got the words you're dreaming of I've got the words you're dreaming of I've got the words you're dreaming of I've got the words you're dreaming of I've got the words you're dreaming of I've got the words you're dreaming of I've got the 0.97

00:57:20.000 words you're dreaming of I've got the words you're dreaming of I've got the words you're dreaming of I've got the words you're dreaming of I've got the words you're dreaming of I've got the words you're dreaming of I've got the words you're dreaming of I've got the words you're dreaming of I've got the words you're dreaming of I've got the words you're dreaming of I've got the words you're dreaming of I've got the words you're dreaming of I've got the words you're dreaming of I've got the words you're dreaming of I've got the words you're dreaming of I've got the words you're dreaming of I've got the words you're dreaming of I've got the words you're dreaming of I've got the words you're dreaming of I've got the words you're dreaming of I've got the words you're dreaming of I've got the words you're dreaming of I've got the words you're dreaming of I've got the words you're dreaming of I've got the words you're dreaming of I've got the words you're dreaming of I've got the words you're dreaming of I've got the words you're dreaming of I've got the words you're dreaming of I've got the words you're dreaming of

00:57:49.000 Stay tuned for more No Cops With benefits such as increased flexibility, added muscle tone, and improved energy and vitality, yoga is a great way to start your day.

00:58:03.000 Yoga can help you maintain a balanced metabolism, reduce your weight, and attain mystical union with Hanuman the Monkey King.

00:58:10.000 Tired of worrying about poor heart health, subpar athletic performance, and whether you and Hanuman the Monkey King are really, you know, okay?

00:58:18.000 Yoga can help!

00:58:20.000 Since earning his path to deification by performing feats of strength, devotion, and courage while helping Rama, the avatar of Vishnu, in countless exciting incidents, Hanuman the Monkey King has been quite the popular fellow, and you and he can attain true oneness with yoga.

00:58:35.000 Yoga.

00:58:36.000 Stretch your mind.

00:58:38.000 Bernard Sanders, a man of humble beginnings from Brooklyn, New York.

00:58:45.000 A University of Chicago graduate, noted communist, and perennial unemployed couch surfer until his early 40s.

00:58:51.000 You know him today as a champion for human rights, income equality, and as the esteemed Senator Sanders.

00:58:58.000 Help care, human rights.

00:59:00.000 But Senator Sanders holds a dark secret.

00:59:04.000 For when he consumes his devious transformation potion, he turns into Mr. Bernie.

00:59:15.000 Unimpeded by logic, critical thinking, or basic Impulse control.

00:59:35.000 Mr. Bernie is an animal of pure instinct, privy to his most primal, carnal, and selfish urges.

00:59:43.000 Human right.

00:59:45.000 And a one percent!

00:59:49.000 Fair share!

00:59:51.000 Income equality!

00:59:53.000 And this month, Mr. Bernie has but one mission.

Louder with Crowder - June 12, 2025

Abu Dhabi Disney, Confused AI and Other Jokes That Should Never Make Air

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