Louder with Crowder - Crowder's 16-Hour CNN Torture Livestream! (Part 1) | Louder With Crowder

00:00:00.000 Thank you.

00:18:59.000 Outro Music

00:19:23.000 RK Jared and Soundguy Edward Is this just my monitor or is this program?

00:19:34.000 That's just, that's program.

00:19:35.000 Oh, okay.

00:19:36.000 Well, you didn't switch to yourself.

00:19:37.000 So we're already off to a horrible start to a horrible day.

00:19:41.000 Merry Christmas.

00:19:42.000 CNN for 16 hours is what's worse than the live stream of being waterboarded, apparently.

00:19:48.000 We have Sven Computer in house.

00:19:50.000 We have... Hey, how you doing, Sven Computer?

00:19:50.000 There we go.

00:19:53.000 I'm doing okay.

00:19:55.000 You forgot something.

00:19:58.000 Thank you.

00:19:58.000 There you go.

00:19:59.000 Sound Guy Edward is here.

00:20:00.000 We have Gerald.

00:20:01.000 The guest list was supposed to be... I guess there are a lot of surprises in store for me.

00:20:01.000 Well, you know what?

00:20:04.000 There are some surprises.

00:20:05.000 There are some light surprises.

00:20:06.000 But we do... I can confirm Jordan Peterson is coming up.

00:20:08.000 First guest, Owen Benjamin, James O'Keefe, Gavin McInnes, Stefan Molyneux, Josh Wolf, David Barton, Joy Villa, Matt Iseman, Kevin Sorbo, Clint Howard, Ben Shapiro, Andrew Clavin, Dean Cain, Pogo, all kinds of other surprises all day.

00:20:20.000 Now, why are we doing this?

00:20:21.000 A, it's worse than waterboarding, and B, people always bitch about the bias in media.

00:20:27.000 Look at this.

00:20:28.000 I swear to you, look.

00:20:29.000 I don't have breasts.

00:20:30.000 It's just something that happens with this thing. 0.99

00:20:31.000 It looks like I have titties. 0.75

00:20:34.000 Can we see the shot of the Walthers, by the way? 0.93

00:20:36.000 Look at this.

00:20:37.000 We got Walthers over there, and I got a Walther on my onesie.

00:20:40.000 Can we show the Walther on my onesie?

00:20:41.000 Look at this.

00:20:43.000 Hey! 0.99

00:20:44.000 Bump, bump, bump.

00:20:45.000 That's the Walther PPS.

00:20:46.000 Wonderful sponsor.

00:20:47.000 Guys, if you're looking to buy a firearm for Christmas, go with the Walther.

00:20:49.000 Try the Walther, because they have balls and they've stood up for this program.

00:20:53.000 So, how bad is CNN? 0.75

00:20:55.000 How biased are they?

00:20:56.000 We figured we would watch...

00:20:58.000 For an entire day, their original clock, 16 hours.

00:21:00.000 We're going to do 24 hours.

00:21:02.000 Instead, we're not going to do their repeats, because who needs a repeat of Don Lemon?

00:21:05.000 It's just him bending over for a little Blitzburn.

00:21:08.000 Blitzburn.

00:21:09.000 It's early, we haven't had enough caffeine, and I put some modafinil for you guys in the bathroom when you go for a break.

00:21:15.000 I'll have to look up what that is.

00:21:16.000 Yeah, you'll see.

00:21:16.000 Joe Rogan's a big fan.

00:21:19.000 All right, let's watch some CNN.

00:21:22.000 Let's watch some CNN.

00:21:24.000 All right, give me some volume here and let's watch it.

00:21:26.000 This is 717.

00:21:27.000 And Sven will be on overlays once we get that going.

00:21:31.000 Just so you know, we had some technical difficulties today.

00:21:33.000 So we're talking about... Okay, landmark tax bill.

00:21:35.000 So we're talking about...

00:21:37.000 My main focus is we've got to have the economy growing again.

00:21:41.000 If we don't have the economy growing again, we're never going to deal with deficits long term.

00:21:45.000 So those forecasts ended up making...

00:21:47.000 Okay, landmark tax bill.

00:21:48.000 So we're talking about the tax bill.

00:21:49.000 You're not comfortable with those over the forecast.

00:21:51.000 Of course.

00:21:52.000 Can we put that, can we put that through that speaker?

00:21:54.000 Or do we have to be going through there?

00:21:55.000 Let's go through there.

00:21:56.000 Okay, because it sounds like they're talking through a, for me it sounds like they're talking through a cheesecloth.

00:22:00.000 We can fix that.

00:22:04.000 This guy looks like a wrestler after cutting weight.

00:22:08.000 Do you see his face?

00:22:11.000 Look at that.

00:22:12.000 It looks like Christian Bale in The Machinist.

00:22:14.000 You know, like the day, not the day you're sick or the day before you're sick, but the day before before you're sick?

00:22:18.000 Right.

00:22:19.000 This looks like the day before transition.

00:22:21.000 Right.

00:22:22.000 It's the day before the day of Christmas.

00:22:24.000 By the way, I should have said world premiere of a YouTube carol.

00:22:28.000 The tale of Ebeneezer YouTube and his clutching, uh, covetous old center waste.

00:22:32.000 By the way, we'll also be reading your tweets.

00:22:33.000 So, uh, send in your favorite tweets during hashtag CNN... I forgot, I forget all kinds of marks.

00:22:38.000 Hashtag CNN Crowder... Hashtag CNN Crowder Livestream?

00:22:41.000 Crowder CNN Livestream.

00:22:42.000 Hashtag Crowder CNN Livestream.

00:22:45.000 Uh, with your tweets, your pictures, your photoshops.

00:22:47.000 We'll be reading them as the day goes.

00:22:48.000 We've got 16 hours today.

00:22:50.000 Yeah.

00:22:50.000 This is an endurance test.

00:22:51.000 It's not a sprint.

00:22:52.000 It's a marathon.

00:22:54.000 By the way, the only way we're able to do this, and this is obviously what makes it all possible, is Mug Club.

00:22:58.000 LottaWorthPowder.com slash Mug Club.

00:23:01.000 Can you guys hear me while I'm still on here?

00:23:03.000 We hear you.

00:23:04.000 Okay.

00:23:05.000 When I start really getting into and speaking, turn down the CNN a little bit. 0.98

00:23:08.000 Not for the audience, just for me, because I don't want to hear this jackass. 0.90

00:23:13.000 This year, look at everything, how much we've grown. 0.93

00:23:14.000 You're talking about a quarter billion plays, people watching for more than 10, 20 minutes.

00:23:19.000 We created MugClub so that we can combat CNN, because we don't have the funding if we go through YouTube.

00:23:24.000 So, just like being waterboarded, MugClub for you.

00:23:27.000 This is a telethon for MugClub, to join up with MugClub, to join up lock arms, to combat this kind of bullcrap. 0.95

00:23:33.000 Oh no, did I just hear Russia hack?

00:23:35.000 Alright.

00:23:35.000 Yeah.

00:23:36.000 at least 21 state election systems and attacked a U.S. voting systems software company.

00:23:41.000 While there's no evidence that the Senate vote outcome was tampered with, this dangerous precedent should be a wake-up call as we head into the 2018 election cycle.

00:23:51.000 Why do you feel so strongly about this?

00:23:52.000 I feel strongly about it because it's obvious.

00:23:55.000 I'm trying to bring this up for you guys.

00:23:56.000 So I have this and we just brought up a Russian hack.

00:23:59.000 Okay.

00:24:00.000 Fact check.

00:24:01.000 Do we have ability to get Sven computer on?

00:24:04.000 Getting close.

00:24:06.000 All right.

00:24:07.000 All right, Reg and those with Reg, when you hear me yell out fact check, since I can't get it, that means we need to check and see.

00:24:16.000 Has there been a Russia hack?

00:24:18.000 That's a simple one.

00:24:19.000 Right away, we are three minutes, six minutes into our live stream, and we've gone to Russian hack with CNN.

00:24:28.000 This is like time capsule CNN.

00:24:30.000 I would hate to say they're predictable.

00:24:32.000 What about the Uranium One deal linked with the Clintons?

00:24:38.000 I'm amazed we're not talking about that.

00:24:40.000 Talked about for about five minutes.

00:24:41.000 And how they actually keep things up to speed.

00:24:43.000 You say that what happened in the 2016 election should be a wake-up call.

00:24:47.000 Okay, what happened?

00:24:48.000 I used to do a show with Alison Camerota every Sunday on Fox & Friends.

00:24:52.000 Here's a funny story about her.

00:24:53.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:24:53.000 That's her?

00:24:54.000 Funny story. 1.00

00:24:55.000 Kind of a bitch. 1.00

00:24:56.000 Okay, there's more to that story. 1.00

00:24:58.000 I just wanted to let you know.

00:25:02.000 She used to, like, hit conservative talking points when she was on Fox & Friends.

00:25:05.000 Go back and watch Fox & Friends Sundays.

00:25:07.000 She would hit conservative talking points when she would have me on, and I always would be like, do you really?

00:25:14.000 Because it would be a little bit off.

00:25:15.000 I never quite thought she was being genuine.

00:25:17.000 Turns out, here she is. 0.93

00:25:18.000 She's talking about Russian hacks on CNN.

00:25:19.000 There she goes.

00:25:21.000 By the way, Stephen, we do have the ability to bring in some research at this point.

00:25:23.000 Okay.

00:25:24.000 Okay.

00:25:24.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:25:25.000 So right away, the President does have a hard time understanding, let's talk down, between meddling and collusion.

00:25:29.000 It's because of you, CNN!

00:25:30.000 They examine different voter systems across 21 different states.

00:25:33.000 Yeah, I think you're right.

00:25:34.000 The president does have a hard time distinguishing between Russian meddling and accusations of Russian collusion.

00:25:40.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:25:40.000 So it ends.

00:25:41.000 The president.

00:25:42.000 So right away, the president does have a hard time understanding.

00:25:44.000 Let's talk between meddling and collusion.

00:25:47.000 It's because you, CNN.

00:25:48.000 CNN has used it.

00:25:50.000 Did the president collude with the Russians? - In Russia. - Yeah! 0.56

00:25:55.000 Turns out Eric Trump had a meeting with someone who at one time had a meeting with Russians regarding business investments.

00:26:01.000 And the second he found out, he completely severed all ties and didn't meet with them.

00:26:06.000 But is this collusion?

00:26:07.000 Is it meddling?

00:26:08.000 We report.

00:26:10.000 You decide.

00:26:11.000 The most trusted name in news.

00:26:14.000 How fast would we get drunk if he just drunk?

00:26:16.000 Can we set a timer?

00:26:17.000 We don't have a timer, do we?

00:26:18.000 For how long?

00:26:20.000 We do have the clock there on the screen.

00:26:24.000 This is just Senator Lankford's talking point.

00:26:30.000 Is there any evidence behind what he's talking about right now?

00:26:37.000 Get on point with your beep-beep-boop-bop, Sven.

00:26:40.000 Sven computer.

00:26:42.000 I'm not even sure that you're a computer at all.

00:26:45.000 It's almost like you're faking it.

00:26:47.000 They don't make Jimin interpret interns like they used to.

00:26:50.000 He didn't collude.

00:26:51.000 No one on his campaign colluded.

00:26:52.000 He understands that Russia meddled or no.

00:26:56.000 Did Russia meddle, though?

00:26:58.000 Did Russia meddle in the election?

00:27:00.000 Right away, here's what you don't see.

00:27:02.000 So, 822 a.m., Capitol Hill, CNN.

00:27:04.000 Did Russia meddle with the election?

00:27:06.000 They're not asking that question or saying, does the president understand that they meddled, or does he just think that he colluded?

00:27:12.000 Wait, what if it's neither? - Here.

00:27:17.000 But, Senator Lankford?

00:27:19.000 Okay, here we go.

00:27:19.000 that the Russians were trying to do something in this process, what that level is.

00:27:24.000 Again, you'd have to ask him on that.

00:27:25.000 But I think he's very passionate about they didn't collude.

00:27:28.000 Okay, I want to ask you about one of the continuing resolutions to try to fund the budget and whether or not we're going to have a government shutdown.

00:27:35.000 So let's talk about the budget.

00:27:40.000 Now let's say, are we going to have a government shutdown?

00:27:43.000 This isn't something that you don't see, and we're going to be doing this all day.

00:27:45.000 day 823 we just went from russia collusion assuming collusion sorry i sprained my wrist we went from assuming russian collusion not the possibility assuming that as a pre assuming that as just okay this is the premise two is there gonna be a shutdown of all government let's do Let's discuss the tax bill.

00:28:07.000 Let's discuss the budget.

00:28:09.000 Under these guises.

00:28:11.000 I don't know if guises is a word.

00:28:12.000 I need a little more coffee.

00:28:13.000 I think it is.

00:28:14.000 So DACA will be resolved, but we're not there yet.

00:28:17.000 We're trying to be able to work through the Senate.

00:28:19.000 The House is also trying to work through that process to try to figure out how do you deal with this.

00:28:22.000 When you deal with DACA, as we should legislatively, myself and Tom Tillis, in fact, put out a bill called the Succeed Act.

00:28:28.000 Hold on a second.

00:28:28.000 I'm taking notes here so we can get overlays and fact checks for you guys.

00:28:31.000 We've got the hashtag on the screen, by the way, at this point.

00:28:33.000 So we've got Crowder.

00:28:34.000 Hashtag Crowder seen in live stream.

00:28:35.000 I'm taking notes here so that we can get overlays and fact checks for you guys.

00:28:39.000 We've got the hashtag on the screen, by the way, at this point.

00:28:44.000 So we've got Crowder.

00:28:45.000 Hashtag Crowder CNN live stream.

00:28:47.000 Send out some love to the Twitters.

00:28:51.000 Why is this guy on so long?

00:28:56.000 There's another guy right behind him.

00:28:56.000 Oh, look at this.

00:28:58.000 Right behind him with that lighting kit.

00:29:00.000 Now, isn't that surprising how horrible that lighting kit is?

00:29:05.000 Is there a third point?

00:29:05.000 The guy behind him?

00:29:07.000 So much government, so much tax dollars.

00:29:09.000 Is there a third point that I'm missing?

00:29:10.000 So many.

00:29:11.000 They're not even hitting three.

00:29:12.000 Do you think Capitol Hill supplies these lights?

00:29:14.000 It doesn't even look like they're using basic three-point lighting.

00:29:16.000 No.

00:29:16.000 Looks like there's just two lights on them.

00:29:18.000 Like they went short.

00:29:19.000 Like they were in the crab fisherman show and just said, put one over here.

00:29:24.000 Oh, it's a senator!

00:29:27.000 Her hair doesn't move, too.

00:29:28.000 I find that disconcerting.

00:29:31.000 Do you think she's a cartoon that just got really... Well, she's had some work done.

00:29:35.000 Go back and look at Allison Camerota when I was on Fox & Friends on Sunday.

00:29:40.000 She doesn't look the same.

00:29:42.000 Hold on.

00:29:42.000 Okay, here we go.

00:29:43.000 Ooh! 0.96

00:29:44.000 This guy looks like he was born, and while his head was still soft as a doctor, the doctor did this.

00:29:52.000 I'm pretty sure they did the opposite to me.

00:29:54.000 Oh, we got commercials here.

00:29:56.000 Okay.

00:29:56.000 So we have some commercials here.

00:29:58.000 When are we hitting our first guest tonight, Jared?

00:30:01.000 Because we have guests four people.

00:30:02.000 We got about 15 minutes.

00:30:03.000 Okay.

00:30:04.000 We got 15 minutes.

00:30:05.000 Are we running a commercial before the guests or just the guests and then start running commercials?

00:30:07.000 Oh, we're running the guests first.

00:30:08.000 Let people get into the CNN vibes.

00:30:08.000 Okay.

00:30:14.000 All right.

00:30:15.000 So, right away, let's look back at what we had.

00:30:16.000 Sven, do you have any research or overlays that you want to bring up? 0.98

00:30:20.000 Well, we do know that... Beep, beep, boop, damn it! 0.98

00:30:23.000 You don't address me unless you say, sir, beep, beep, boop, bop. 0.99

00:30:28.000 Sir, beep, beep, boop, bop.

00:30:29.000 Okay, continue.

00:30:29.000 Thank you.

00:30:32.000 So, beep beep, we know that the Mueller challenges show beep beep no proof of election meddling.

00:30:38.000 So, that's that.

00:30:41.000 Okay.

00:30:43.000 Yeah, well one thing too they're talking about like is Trump going to fire Mueller?

00:30:46.000 He just said yesterday that he wasn't.

00:30:50.000 Okay, I get it.

00:30:51.000 We can't necessarily rely on what the president says.

00:30:53.000 But they're assuming, like they're asking the question.

00:30:55.000 You do have to somewhat say, okay, if you're going to say that, you have to say the president has said he's not going to.

00:31:00.000 Right?

00:31:00.000 Yeah.

00:31:01.000 But they don't.

00:31:02.000 Is the president going to fire me?

00:31:04.000 What about the Russia probe?

00:31:05.000 Is there collusion or meddling?

00:31:07.000 Is there going to be a government shutdown?

00:31:09.000 How much will we add to the debt with this tax bill?

00:31:13.000 You added 10 trillion!

00:31:16.000 In Obama's 8 years!

00:31:18.000 I was just reading yesterday, I think it was 1.5 trillion.

00:31:20.000 People were afraid about it in 10 years with this current bill.

00:31:23.000 Really?

00:31:23.000 They were like, 1.5 trillion in 10 years!

00:31:24.000 I'm like, well damn it! 0.97

00:31:26.000 That sounds fantastic! 0.98

00:31:27.000 That sounds great!

00:31:28.000 That sounds like less inflation than healthcare costs!

00:31:32.000 I think liberals are really bad at numbers.

00:31:34.000 Well, one thing with the tax video, with the tax bill, that really surprises me is I just, I, I, I, I, there's this idea that there's a roundabout way.

00:31:46.000 This is mainly for corporations.

00:31:47.000 We've talked about this.

00:31:50.000 Anyone out there, you have a job?

00:31:52.000 Anyone watching?

00:31:53.000 You have a, do you have a job?

00:31:53.000 Tweet me.

00:31:54.000 Tweet me.

00:31:55.000 Hashtag crowd or CNN live stream.

00:31:59.000 Okay.

00:32:01.000 Who do you work for?

00:32:02.000 All the people who have jobs are currently at their jobs.

00:32:05.000 Yeah, they're currently at their jobs.

00:32:07.000 But guess who?

00:32:08.000 It's a corporation.

00:32:09.000 Maybe it's an S-Corp, maybe it's an LLC, depending.

00:32:12.000 But the principle is the same.

00:32:13.000 This idea that we put it off there, this will only benefit corporations.

00:32:16.000 So there's this voodoo economics where it's supposed to trickle down, like if a corporation has more money, they're going to give more to their employees, or they're going to hire more.

00:32:27.000 What do we have?

00:32:28.000 Wasn't it AT&T?

00:32:30.000 Just gave $1,000 bonuses to more than 200,000 employees with the announcing of this tax bill.

00:32:37.000 Boeing announced that it would spend $300 million on employee-related and charitable investments because of the tax plan.

00:32:42.000 Comcast is giving $1,000 bonuses to 100,000 frontline and non-executive employees.

00:32:47.000 Fifth Third Bank Corp.

00:32:50.000 Said it would raise their hourly minimum wage to $15 for U.S.

00:32:53.000 employees and pay 13,500 employees a bonus.

00:32:56.000 Wells Fargo, evil Wells Fargo, said it would increase its minimum wage for U.S.

00:32:59.000 employees from $13.50 to $15 and spend $400 million on donations to nonprofits and community organizations in 2018.

00:33:08.000 Anywhere from Google.

00:33:09.000 Anywhere from, yeah, I have no idea.

00:33:11.000 It's just so funny to me.

00:33:12.000 They're like, ah, you think this is gonna, yes!

00:33:14.000 And these are current employees.

00:33:16.000 If they're giving thousands of dollars in bonuses to current employees... Oh, this guy, Kamal Bell.

00:33:22.000 This guy is the worst.

00:33:24.000 Because he used to have a late, late, late night show that would go on at 1 or 2 as a comedy show.

00:33:29.000 And I was like, this guy's just a social justice warrior.

00:33:31.000 Now it's United Shades of America with Kamal Bell.

00:33:35.000 Oh no.

00:33:37.000 The most trusted name in news.

00:33:39.000 Commercial break in progress.

00:33:40.000 What were we just watching?

00:33:42.000 I don't know, I think it was... I guess this is the online feed?

00:33:44.000 It's the online feed.

00:33:45.000 Alright, is someone keeping an eye on the Twitter?

00:33:47.000 Because I have to hit these research things.

00:33:49.000 Hey, Hopper!

00:33:49.000 Come on, get it up.

00:33:50.000 Hopper! 0.93

00:33:51.000 Want to come in the futon?

00:33:53.000 He doesn't know about this as a new... Oh, Allison Cameron!

00:33:55.000 Hopper, come on!

00:33:55.000 Come on!

00:33:56.000 Come on! 0.61

00:33:56.000 You hear a lot of this, right? 0.61

00:33:57.000 Good boy!

00:33:57.000 Senator Mark Warner has issued a warning to the president.

00:34:01.000 Good boy.

00:34:02.000 Just don't knock over the microphone.

00:34:04.000 Maybe you will.

00:34:05.000 Okay.

00:34:06.000 There we go, guys.

00:34:08.000 We got a new pilot running co-host.

00:34:09.000 Hopper is allowed on this because only Jared sits there.

00:34:12.000 It's true.

00:34:13.000 Thank you.

00:34:13.000 Got a kiss?

00:34:14.000 Alright. 0.83

00:34:14.000 That's gross. 0.83

00:34:15.000 Oh, and he just burped.

00:34:15.000 Thank you.

00:34:16.000 That's gross.

00:34:16.000 It's unacceptable.

00:34:17.000 All right.

00:34:18.000 And would have immediate consequences.

00:34:19.000 Lovely.

00:34:19.000 Oh, and he just burped.

00:34:20.000 Okay, so here to discuss this and more, we have the top Democrat on the House Intelligence Committee, Congressman Adam Schiff.

00:34:27.000 Good morning, Congressman.

00:34:28.000 Good morning, how are you?

00:34:30.000 I'm well.

00:34:30.000 He doesn't know how he feels.

00:34:32.000 I'm usually not allowed in the furniture.

00:34:33.000 Well, I thought Jared was going to be in this panel with me.

00:34:36.000 Well, I thought Jared was going to be in the house with me.

00:34:40.000 I'm going to hop in there with you.

00:34:40.000 Well, I don't rely on him at all because we've seen in the past that the president changes.

00:34:45.000 Now he's off.

00:34:46.000 Now Hopper's gone.

00:34:47.000 No.

00:34:48.000 That's my bad.

00:34:49.000 Look, oh, look, look, look, look.

00:34:50.000 Get a long shot.

00:34:51.000 Get a long shot.

00:34:51.000 He's trying to get under his blanket.

00:34:53.000 Hold on one second, guys.

00:34:54.000 There you go.

00:34:55.000 No problem.

00:34:56.000 to limit Bob Mueller scope.

00:35:01.000 So no, I don't think we can rely on this at all.

00:35:07.000 I do think Congress always take up legislation to protect.

00:35:13.000 He goes... Alright.

00:35:15.000 Possibly the most chilled out I've ever met.

00:35:17.000 This guy looks like Mr. Mackey from South Park without the glasses.

00:35:20.000 M'kay.

00:35:22.000 Alright, let's uh... Hold on a second.

00:35:25.000 All of this, I think, is only encouragement to the President that he can act in ways that would be destructive of our system of justice and he'll have only too many quiescent partners in the House.

00:35:37.000 But maybe the plan is more subtle than what you think.

00:35:41.000 I mean, maybe it's not getting rid of Rod Rosenstein.

00:35:43.000 Maybe it's not following Bob Mueller.

00:35:45.000 Maybe it's what you're talking about.

00:35:46.000 Are we still talking about firing Mueller?

00:35:49.000 Here's the thing, do you realize, I mean, I was just watching Judd Apatow's stand-up special and he was talking about the Russian peeing incident, the Russian prostitutes, and he's like, we know it's probably not true, but wouldn't it be great if it were?

00:36:05.000 This is Judd Apatow's stand-up special on Netflix.

00:36:09.000 That's what they're doing with news.

00:36:10.000 They're saying, we know there's really nothing here, but wouldn't it be great if there were?

00:36:14.000 And I have to watch this for 16 hours.

00:36:16.000 And that's the whole point.

00:36:19.000 With CNN, it's not just the bias by proactive propaganda, it's the bias by omission.

00:36:25.000 It's the way in which they present this.

00:36:28.000 In the news.

00:36:29.000 It's the way in which they present the entire story.

00:36:31.000 They frame it in with a way, it's, well, Russia probe, clearly some, is it collusion or is it just meddling?

00:36:37.000 It's getting worse for them because they found effectively nothing, certainly nothing that connects President Trump.

00:36:41.000 Is this, is this, is this, who is this right now?

00:36:52.000 Sven Computer, who is this?

00:36:53.000 This is Adam Schiff.

00:36:55.000 This is Schiff?

00:36:56.000 Didn't he say, like, nine months ago that he had evidence on Trump?

00:36:59.000 Yeah, he did.

00:37:00.000 Can you bring that up?

00:37:00.000 This guy, nine months ago, said he had evidence.

00:37:03.000 And the probe has been going on forever.

00:37:05.000 What?

00:37:05.000 He's like, I know what I'm gonna do.

00:37:07.000 Lay low for a year and a half.

00:37:11.000 And then release the rubber bed sheets.

00:37:13.000 What do you think he has?

00:37:15.000 Bring this up, Sven Computer.

00:37:16.000 I can bring this up.

00:37:17.000 I have yet to log in.

00:37:19.000 When you address me, sir... Sir, beep beep bop bop.

00:37:22.000 Thank you.

00:37:22.000 Thank you, Sven Computer.

00:37:24.000 Trust me, it's for your own health.

00:37:25.000 All right, yeah, we have the article from the Wall Street Journal right here.

00:37:28.000 Okay, you have the article right there?

00:37:29.000 Yeah.

00:37:30.000 How long ago was it that he was saying he had evidence?

00:37:32.000 That was nine months ago, but that's only the research doc, because I haven't logged into the Wall Street Journal yet.

00:37:36.000 Okay.

00:37:38.000 And then CNN called it actually themselves a dangerous conspiracy theory.

00:37:42.000 And they were mad that Trump Jr.

00:37:46.000 or any other Republicans could even mention it.

00:37:48.000 So Sven, just hit that on there when you can.

00:37:51.000 What do you think was on CNN's agenda for the year before all the Trump Russia stuff?

00:37:55.000 Because if you take that out of the programming, it's basically just the commercials.

00:38:02.000 For their own programming.

00:38:03.000 I'm trying to bring up some tweets.

00:38:04.000 Am I the one who's going to have to be bringing up tweets to have a way to bring them up so people can read their own tweets yet?

00:38:07.000 Sorry, we had a computer failure.

00:38:08.000 I'm just going to read some off air here in a second.

00:38:10.000 Okay, but can we bring some screens up for them?

00:38:13.000 So people can see their own tweets?

00:38:17.000 They better cover Nikki Haley sticking it to the UN today, said youalas312.

00:38:17.000 Let's see.

00:38:22.000 Oh, we will.

00:38:24.000 Am I the only one who thinks that Nikki Haley, for her age, is kind of fine?

00:38:27.000 It's that Indian blood. 0.99

00:38:29.000 Anyone?

00:38:30.000 Sven Computer, does your digital interface find Nikki Haley to be fine?

00:38:37.000 My digital interface actually thinks that Nikki Haley would make a good present.

00:38:41.000 Yeah, but I don't care about the substantive stuff.

00:38:44.000 Do you think Nikki Haley looks physically attractive?

00:38:48.000 I'm a computer.

00:38:48.000 I have no human feelings.

00:38:53.000 All right, Sven Computer.

00:38:56.000 Little mom-ish.

00:38:57.000 Did she just ask about Mueller being fired again?

00:38:57.000 Little mom-ish.

00:38:59.000 already fired Mueller. 0.99

00:38:59.000 The CNN stream is really entertaining because the audio isn't even close to their video, so it makes them look even more dumb, said Nate no more. 0.99

00:39:08.000 All right, we might want to find a way to get this a little more in sync for them.

00:39:12.000 Okay, guys, let's see.

00:39:14.000 Oh, did she just ask about Mueller being fired again?

00:39:17.000 Yeah. - Yeah.

00:39:18.000 Good Lord.

00:39:22.000 If I'm not mistaken, I'm pretty sure Schiff is actually legally barred.

00:39:35.000 I think, isn't it the House committee? 1.00

00:39:39.000 The House Intel Committee legally barred him from discussing the info because he's full of shit? 0.99

00:39:44.000 Don't worry, it's okay, it's like... 1.00

00:39:47.000 I think this guy is so full of shit, he's been legally barred from saying this stuff that he's saying on CNN. 0.99

00:39:52.000 People out there, if you're watching, hashtag crowd, is it CNN, crowd or CNN livestream? 1.00

00:39:55.000 Crowd or CNN livestream.

00:39:56.000 Hashtag crowd or CNN livestream, okay? 1.00

00:39:58.000 I think this, that Adam Schiff has been legally barred from saying this because he's full of shit. 1.00

00:40:03.000 And he's been saying it for nine months. 0.99

00:40:06.000 I'm not sure about this.

00:40:07.000 Well, Sven Computer, get on it.

00:40:09.000 But I'm pretty sure that's the case.

00:40:11.000 Why is Uranium One trending on Twitter right now?

00:40:14.000 Because they're not, why are they not talking about it?

00:40:16.000 It's Hillary's Uranium One deal.

00:40:18.000 Nothing.

00:40:20.000 We've discussed nothing regarding Uranium One.

00:40:22.000 They're acting as though Mueller's already been fired.

00:40:24.000 They've already asked, is it meddling or collusion with the Russians? 0.99

00:40:28.000 And they have a guy who's on here spewing bullshit that is so bullshitty the House Intel Committee said you have to stop being so bullshitty and now we have Squishy Face. 1.00

00:40:36.000 Remember those balls? 1.00

00:40:37.000 Those squishy balls that had face on them when you were- faces on them when you were a kid? 0.92

00:40:41.000 They were like monster balls, is what they were called.

00:40:41.000 Remember those?

00:40:44.000 Horrible.

00:40:44.000 What were they called?

00:40:46.000 Sven Computer, find that for me. 0.98

00:40:48.000 The old- the old balls. 0.98

00:40:50.000 The old like squishy balls. 0.99

00:40:51.000 The old squishy monster balls. 0.97

00:40:54.000 With faces on them. 0.89

00:40:55.000 Beep beep, I don't think that's part of my job.

00:40:57.000 That is part of your job. 0.94

00:40:58.000 Beep beep, smartass. 0.99

00:41:01.000 If I say you search squishy monster balls, guess what? 0.99

00:41:04.000 Do you want Google Images? 0.88

00:41:07.000 No, what were they called?

00:41:08.000 Someone please tweet me at CrowderCNNLivestream. 0.88

00:41:11.000 They had balls like faces on them and be like, I like teeth.

00:41:14.000 It was basically like a squishy Nerf ball with a face on it. 0.82

00:41:17.000 It poked through the skin and became like a big like wart.

00:41:19.000 No, that's a different thing you're talking about.

00:41:20.000 I'm talking about just like foam Nerf balls with faces on them.

00:41:25.000 By the way, from DixieNormous, Dixie, first name, Twitter, would love to have Nikki Haley and Sarah Huckabee boss me around.

00:41:33.000 So we got some love, love for the ladies. 1.00

00:41:39.000 Okay, let's really quickly, let's hit some of the fake Russia stories that CNN has aired.

00:41:44.000 Because right now, they'll just skim over this because they'll be wrong.

00:41:46.000 They said that he was firing Mueller.

00:41:47.000 He wasn't firing Mueller.

00:41:48.000 This guy said he had some info nine months ago.

00:41:50.000 He didn't have any info.

00:41:51.000 Let's go through some of them, some of the stories that they've had on Russia.

00:41:55.000 The Russia Wikileaks Trump Jr.

00:41:56.000 report.

00:41:57.000 Remember they reported Donald Trump Jr.

00:41:58.000 He had received advance notice of Wikileaks.

00:42:00.000 This treasure trove of hacked information.

00:42:03.000 Well, they had the date completely wrong.

00:42:05.000 Random person emailed Donald Trump Jr.

00:42:08.000 That was completely wrong.

00:42:08.000 What else do we have?

00:42:09.000 CNN tied to Fusion GPS.

00:42:11.000 Remember the firm that created the Russia Trump dossier?

00:42:13.000 We talked about that.

00:42:14.000 CNN was the one who was involved with that, where Democrats paid to have this hit job done. 0.99

00:42:18.000 The false Scaramucci report.

00:42:20.000 CNN reported on that.

00:42:21.000 The big one.

00:42:22.000 This ended up, I think, with three resignations.

00:42:24.000 CNN published a story connecting Anthony Scaramucci with investigations into the Russia Direct Investment Fund.

00:42:29.000 Anyways, the article cited one single unnamed source.

00:42:35.000 Where's the committee looking into a $10 billion Russia investment fund whose chief executive met with Scaramucci?

00:42:40.000 Anyway, they're facing a $100 million libel suit over that one.

00:42:44.000 We have the false Russia Comey investigation story.

00:42:46.000 Remember, Comey was going to be turning sides. 1.00

00:42:47.000 Remember that one?

00:42:48.000 Comey was trending everywhere.

00:42:50.000 They helped push the fake Trump dossier. 0.99

00:42:51.000 That's the one, of course, with the Russian peeing prostitutes. 1.00

00:42:54.000 And then the overall just general malfeasance about Russia meddling in the election. 0.99

00:42:58.000 So there you go.

00:42:59.000 Today, they're talking about something else with Russia.

00:43:01.000 But it's important when you watch the news, okay?

00:43:04.000 It's important when you watch this, and I have to do this for 16 hours.

00:43:07.000 It's important that you understand how many other times they've lied, and they just move right on.

00:43:12.000 Yep.

00:43:13.000 That's the big difference between new media and social media.

00:43:14.000 I guarantee you, if right now I get a single thing wrong, you're gonna call me on it.

00:43:18.000 And I want you to.

00:43:19.000 Hashtag on Twitter, CrowderCNNLivestream.

00:43:21.000 I keep wanting to say CNN.

00:43:22.000 Hashtag CrowderCNNLivestream.

00:43:24.000 I want you to call me on it.

00:43:25.000 I want you to call me on it.

00:43:26.000 I want you to call Not Gay Jared. 0.94

00:43:27.000 I want you to call Sven Computer on it if we get something wrong, and I know you will.

00:43:30.000 They just say, ah, Scaramucci report.

00:43:33.000 They're wrong.

00:43:34.000 $100 million libel suit, which they'll likely settle for maybe $50 million.

00:43:37.000 They'll lose because they lied, but they move on.

00:43:40.000 So they don't want to talk about it.

00:43:42.000 Right now, do you know why there are no sources being listed on CNN right now? 0.98

00:43:47.000 Because the only sources they had were themselves and they were wrong and they've been sued because it was bullshit. 0.84

00:43:54.000 At some point you have to double down on sources. 0.88

00:43:56.000 You put a source up there, you have to double down on it because it's something you're presenting.

00:43:59.000 But if it's all just kind of out there, just kind of...

00:44:03.000 It's hard to debunk speculation when it's just speculation.

00:44:06.000 That's all they do.

00:44:08.000 It's really hard to understand.

00:44:09.000 Why would CNN protect a source that, when you're talking about Schiff, or any source that humiliated them?

00:44:15.000 With any of these stories, why would you protect a source that humiliated you because everyone thinks you're a liar and now you're facing a libel suit?

00:44:21.000 Why is CNN protecting that source?

00:44:23.000 Reg was just sending me this.

00:44:27.000 My guess is probably, oh, conspiracy.

00:44:29.000 Conspiracy time.

00:44:30.000 Hashtag CrowderCNN livestream.

00:44:32.000 Maybe because it was a high-ranking Democrat.

00:44:35.000 Think about this.

00:44:35.000 CNN was humiliated with verifiably false information, but they still protect the source, right?

00:44:41.000 We're not going to name our source.

00:44:42.000 You're being hung out to dry.

00:44:42.000 Well, hold on.

00:44:43.000 Let's see what SquishyBallFace has to say. 0.51

00:44:46.000 Did anyone find out what those balls were called? 0.97

00:44:49.000 Those balls. 0.98

00:44:50.000 I got an image of them, I think. 0.98

00:44:52.000 All right, let me see the image there, Sven Computer.

00:44:55.000 We're getting ready for Jordan Peterson.

00:44:57.000 Oh, we can't have two things open?

00:44:59.000 Let's see.

00:44:59.000 All right.

00:45:00.000 Nerf ball face.

00:45:04.000 Madballs? 0.64

00:45:05.000 Madballs!

00:45:06.000 With a Z?

00:45:09.000 No.

00:45:10.000 With an S. Maybe.

00:45:10.000 No?

00:45:11.000 I mean, that's on Twitter.

00:45:12.000 That's John Reddick, at John Reddick.

00:45:13.000 Thank you very much.

00:45:16.000 The torture of streaming CNN for 16 hours is so inhumane.

00:45:18.000 Why are you trying to kill me?

00:45:19.000 Why, Crowder, why? 0.99

00:45:20.000 Says Kuwait AMVs. 0.92

00:45:21.000 Listen, do we have any of the overlays for Mug Club so people can see where to join?

00:45:25.000 Screenshot of that?

00:45:26.000 Yeah, let's bring it up.

00:45:26.000 We'll bring it up.

00:45:28.000 Are we going to bring it up now?

00:45:28.000 Where?

00:45:29.000 In a second.

00:45:30.000 Okay.

00:45:33.000 We're able to do this because of Mug Club. 0.97

00:45:34.000 The whole purpose of this is that Mug Club exists so that you don't have to tune in to CNN.

00:45:38.000 So for one day, one day a year, you will feel our pain.

00:45:42.000 Every single day, we don't watch 16 Hours, but every single day we have to watch CNN.

00:45:46.000 We're the one show out there, the only show that I know of, where our entire morning pitch is HuffPo, Salon, Daily Mail, CNN, MSNBC, because we want to know what they're saying and arm you with information.

00:46:00.000 We try to be the anti-echo chamber.

00:46:02.000 We provide you with information, of course.

00:46:04.000 Do we have a bias?

00:46:05.000 Of course.

00:46:06.000 Do we have a point of view?

00:46:07.000 Yes.

00:46:08.000 Do we have certain views that we want people to believe in, like constitutionalism, freedom of speech, second amendment, you know, the separation of powers?

00:46:16.000 Absolutely.

00:46:16.000 We want you to believe that.

00:46:17.000 I'm really honest about it. 0.99

00:46:19.000 In order to arm you with information, our entire day is filled with this crap.

00:46:24.000 Our whole day is filled with nothing but CNN and liberal sources so that we can know what they're saying and arm you to help try and debunk them.

00:46:30.000 That's why Change My Mind has been so successful.

00:46:32.000 We're incredibly grateful, but that you have to join at ladoscratter.com slash mudclub or there will be no more YouTube channel.

00:46:37.000 All the free content is supported by you who watch The Daily Show every night.

00:46:42.000 Okay, let's... And I'll get deported.

00:46:44.000 You're gonna get deported.

00:46:45.000 Why is there no availability to comment on a live chat?

00:46:48.000 I just want to shout my love of waking up, having coffee, and getting a live show.

00:46:50.000 Merry Christmas early, thank you.

00:46:52.000 Zee Haji.

00:46:53.000 Do we dare turn the live chat on?

00:46:55.000 No, I don't think so.

00:46:55.000 That's the filthiest part of the internet.

00:46:56.000 Steven Main says, you look very low rent there.

00:46:59.000 Well, thank you, Steven.

00:47:00.000 This is low rent.

00:47:05.000 This is the same studio I stream from every day.

00:47:07.000 It wasn't designed for this.

00:47:08.000 It's low rent.

00:47:10.000 You know what else is low rent? 1.00

00:47:12.000 CNN sourcing, you stupid son of a bitch. 1.00

00:47:17.000 Do you think CNN would ever read on live Twitter disparaging statements about themselves? 1.00

00:47:25.000 The what?

00:47:26.000 Do you think CNN hosts would ever read live disparaging statements about themselves?

00:47:31.000 I don't know.

00:47:31.000 I have no idea.

00:47:32.000 Critiques?

00:47:33.000 I have no idea.

00:47:35.000 Now, Sound Guy Edward, if I don't hear this, if you turn it down for me, but the audience still hears it... Okay, it's at two different feeds.

00:47:41.000 That's why they're getting off-key.

00:47:42.000 Yeah, so people, the reason it's a little off-sync is because I can't listen to your feed.

00:47:46.000 I don't have headphones.

00:47:47.000 So they turn on speakers for me, so there's a delay for you, so... Sorry, but we are watching it live.

00:47:52.000 There's no trick.

00:47:52.000 There's nothing up my sleeves.

00:47:56.000 Maybe there is.

00:47:57.000 Hey, can you get Courtney access to the guest card? 0.89

00:47:59.000 She needs to be able to tweet that out. 0.76

00:48:00.000 - Yeah. - I had the opportunity to actually go out to that scene.

00:48:04.000 - All right, hold on a second. - I find it very hard that a fall could have caused all the damage that he had.

00:48:15.000 And as far as him being, you know, sideswept. - A month later, Border Patrol agent's death remains a mystery.

00:48:23.000 - He was actually on the side road.

00:48:25.000 Okay, so he's a border patrol agent right now.

00:48:26.000 And he's been killed.

00:48:28.000 Which is really sad.

00:48:29.000 The one person who might have answers, Agent Garland, says he doesn't remember anything.

00:48:34.000 Doesn't remember anything.

00:48:35.000 Garland has so far not responded to anything.

00:48:39.000 Okay, so he's a Border Patrol agent right now, and he's been killed, which is really sad.

00:48:45.000 The death remains a mystery.

00:48:46.000 My inclination right now is to go, it's probably not as much of a mystery as CNN wants to make us believe, because it is incredibly dangerous and violent on the border, and my guess is it's border-related.

00:49:00.000 *music* Call it a hunch.

00:49:04.000 - The Border Patrol Union says that Garland suffered severe head trauma, that he wants to remember, he wants to get this out in the open, and he wants for justice to be done.

00:49:13.000 And Bill and Allison, one other important point to make, and that's that Angie Ochoa says she asked the FBI whether it's possible that Martinez was killed with rocks.

00:49:22.000 The FBI told her there was no evidence to support that.

00:49:24.000 - Oh my God. - This is the problem, this is the problem too. - It's so mysterious and it only gets more so an obvious way.

00:49:31.000 So mysterious.

00:49:32.000 This is the problem, too, with news, right?

00:49:34.000 With cable news.

00:49:36.000 They are wondering if he possibly was bludgeoned to death with bloody rocks.

00:49:41.000 Like, your reaction, and we have this on the show, is, oh my God!

00:49:45.000 Like, a guy was killed on the border, a border patrol agent, with rocks?

00:49:49.000 But it's somehow seen as more professional.

00:49:51.000 It's like, was he killed with rocks? 1.00

00:49:54.000 This guy might have been... some son of a bitch might have hit him with rocks. 1.00

00:49:57.000 Isn't that sick? 1.00

00:49:58.000 If people reacted the way Americans react, we would have an entirely different skew on these stories.

00:50:05.000 Mulling your wine intake.

00:50:07.000 That hair does look plastic-y, doesn't it?

00:50:09.000 It doesn't move.

00:50:09.000 Her hair?

00:50:10.000 It doesn't budge.

00:50:12.000 Food as fuel.

00:50:15.000 Oh, Lisa Dreher.

00:50:16.000 Here's her shot. 0.99

00:50:19.000 Is this Josh Tesh?

00:50:23.000 John Tesh?

00:50:24.000 Who?

00:50:25.000 Who are you talking about?

00:50:25.000 Josh Tesh.

00:50:28.000 John.

00:50:28.000 Joshua?

00:50:29.000 I have no idea.

00:50:31.000 This is not news.

00:50:32.000 Hey, okay, really quickly, before they say anything on CNN, tweet me at hashtag CrowderCNN livestream.

00:50:38.000 How many glasses of wine a day should you drink if you're a man or woman?

00:50:41.000 Okay, what's considered moderate?

00:50:43.000 Quick, go, go, go, go, go, go, go.

00:50:45.000 One for women, two for men.

00:50:45.000 You got it!

00:50:46.000 Done.

00:50:48.000 We have to deal with a 50-minute report for this?

00:50:51.000 Look at this. 0.98

00:50:51.000 There's some poor schmuck who had to get B-roll of grapes and wine glasses. 0.98

00:50:56.000 You know that was shot at an intern's apartment and he had his nine roommates who were living in the Lower East Side, like, get out, get out, I have to get the hero shot of the grapes, they wanna do a report online. 0.97

00:51:05.000 Be quiet, I need the audio for thinking.

00:51:08.000 And she was just hired to like, can you wear it as low cut as possible without starting the boob open? 1.00

00:51:17.000 Can you do that?

00:51:18.000 Just wear it as low as you can before the crevice starts, and then a little lower, and you're going to sell wine.

00:51:24.000 This is going to be news.

00:51:27.000 The most trusted name in news.

00:51:29.000 The most trusted.

00:51:29.000 All right, so when we have Peterson on, am I going to listen through the main speaker, or do I have to put headphones on?

00:51:35.000 You hear the speaker, and then you'll have him in your feed there.

00:51:39.000 All right, then.

00:51:40.000 Hold on a second.

00:51:44.000 Hold on one second.

00:51:45.000 Hold on one second here.

00:51:47.000 Sven, you're in on the text thread, right?

00:51:49.000 Do you have that up on your computer?

00:51:50.000 Yes.

00:51:50.000 Okay, good.

00:51:51.000 So, you know, bring those up as soon as they come in, too, and the research document.

00:51:55.000 We have it right here.

00:51:56.000 A month after Border Control Agent's death, his fiancée has no answers.

00:52:01.000 Pretty sure it has to do with being on the border and it being an absolute lawless hellhole because, yes, of illegal immigrants. 1.00

00:52:09.000 The border's a horrible place. 0.95

00:52:11.000 All right.

00:52:15.000 Thus far, we've done right.

00:52:18.000 Thank you. 0.97

00:53:20.000 And by the way, they have balls. 0.95

00:53:38.000 They're sponsoring this program. 0.98

00:53:39.000 A lot of people don't realize this.

00:53:40.000 A lot of firearm companies actually work with the anti-gun lobby.

00:53:43.000 Like, they'll put in the little trigger locks.

00:53:44.000 They'll be like, yes, yes, yes, just don't target us.

00:53:47.000 We'll put in extra bump safeties.

00:53:47.000 We'll do this.

00:53:49.000 We'll make sure our guns can't be sold in California.

00:53:52.000 Walter does this.

00:53:54.000 Yeah, you have more buttons?

00:53:55.000 You got it.

00:53:56.000 Walter does this.

00:53:57.000 Okay? 0.98

00:53:58.000 They said you can't import these from Germany, Walter, because they have stupid laws of their PPK being too small. 0.95

00:54:04.000 We're gonna build us a plant in Fort Smith, Arkansas. 0.96

00:54:04.000 So they said, okay, you know what? 0.96

00:54:08.000 And now they're gonna be able to get them to you.

00:54:09.000 So now they're actually American-built.

00:54:10.000 American-made.

00:54:12.000 They're German-engineered and they're assembled here in the United States. 0.99

00:54:14.000 We're trying to say they're not pussies. 1.00

00:54:15.000 No, exactly. 0.99

00:54:16.000 Walther is the firearm company.

00:54:18.000 With lock boxes that you can file a petition to get the key for the lock box.

00:54:21.000 Oh, and I love old Smith & Wessons.

00:54:23.000 I got some old revolvers, but Smith & Wesson and Ruger were the worst offenders of that.

00:54:27.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.

00:54:28.000 They just came in and they just, they totally acquiesced.

00:54:30.000 Okay, we have our first guest.

00:54:31.000 Are we ready?

00:54:32.000 Is it tweeted out?

00:54:32.000 Everyone know that we have a first guest?

00:54:34.000 Okay, because I have too many things to manage here.

00:54:36.000 Way too much on my plate to try and get out guest cards and do research at the same time.

00:54:40.000 Dr. Peterson, are you there, sir?

00:54:43.000 I'm here.

00:54:44.000 How are you, sir?

00:54:45.000 How are you this morning?

00:54:46.000 You look far more well-rested than any of us.

00:54:50.000 Yeah, well, hopefully I'm sharper and better looking than the rest of you, too.

00:54:54.000 Yeah, well, that's generally the case.

00:54:56.000 Now, you're aware of what's going on today, correct?

00:54:59.000 I'm not aware of anything.

00:55:00.000 As a matter of fact, I just woke up.

00:55:06.000 Clean your room, get up early.

00:55:06.000 What happened?

00:55:07.000 No, I mean, you're aware that this is a CNN livestream, that right as we're talking, I've been watching CNN all morning and I'm going to do it for 16 hours.

00:55:14.000 Oh my god.

00:55:15.000 Yeah.

00:55:16.000 No one told you this when they booked you?

00:55:18.000 You just thought this was a norm?

00:55:19.000 I think they probably did.

00:55:21.000 They probably did.

00:55:22.000 Well, I don't know what to talk with you.

00:55:23.000 Okay, so you're our first guest of the day.

00:55:25.000 Thank you so much.

00:55:27.000 Those are lovely pajamas you have on.

00:55:29.000 Yes.

00:55:30.000 Onesie.

00:55:30.000 And by the way, our sponsor, Walther.

00:55:32.000 So onesie, I've got my Walther firearm right here.

00:55:34.000 Yes.

00:55:35.000 So last year, I don't know if you know, I was waterboarded, Dr. Peterson.

00:55:38.000 I was waterboarded live on air.

00:55:39.000 And rightfully so.

00:55:41.000 Yes.

00:55:42.000 We said, what can we do that's more painful legally than being waterboarded?

00:55:46.000 Because we had a lot of people join at lottoescryter.com slash mug club for the waterboarding.

00:55:50.000 Apparently, our fans like to see me get hurt.

00:55:52.000 Naki Jared, tase me in the chest. 1.00

00:55:54.000 By the way, Dr. Peterson, first thing it says on the taser is do not tase near chest area.

00:56:00.000 So we decided this year we're going to watch CNN for 16 hours.

00:56:05.000 It serves two purposes.

00:56:06.000 It's worse torture for me, and we get to expose their biases.

00:56:10.000 So let me give you a quick recap.

00:56:11.000 We started off with Trump, and it was, did Trump meddle?

00:56:15.000 Did the Russians meddle?

00:56:16.000 Or is there collusion?

00:56:17.000 They insinuated that Mueller's about to be fired.

00:56:20.000 President Trump said that he wouldn't.

00:56:22.000 And of course, they've said, There might be a government shutdown.

00:56:25.000 We're going to be adding to the trillions of the debt with the tax bill.

00:56:29.000 This is how they presented every single story.

00:56:30.000 Their most trusted name in news.

00:56:31.000 Also, Dr. Peterson, you shouldn't drink more than two glasses of wine as a man or one as a woman.

00:56:37.000 So, in your opinion as a doctor, is there anything here that you find interesting to explore?

00:56:45.000 Well, I think that if you're going to watch 16 hours of CNN, that you should probably drink more than two glasses of wine.

00:56:52.000 Yeah, that makes a whole lot of sense.

00:56:53.000 And maybe if you had a choice between not being tased, you should pick being tased.

00:56:57.000 But I tell you, I wouldn't pick dressing up in that pajama over 16 hours of CNN.

00:57:04.000 I've made a lot of mistakes that have led me to this point in my life, Dr. Peterson.

00:57:07.000 Well, you look terrible, too.

00:57:09.000 I mean, you look like you've been up for a very long time.

00:57:11.000 I haven't, though.

00:57:12.000 I haven't yet.

00:57:12.000 Believe me.

00:57:13.000 I've been up early, but 16 hours.

00:57:16.000 Oh, my God.

00:57:17.000 I thought we were at the end of the 16 hours.

00:57:18.000 No, no, no, no, no.

00:57:19.000 This is just starting.

00:57:20.000 If you want to call back in and check and give your expert medical opinion, we'll take it.

00:57:25.000 No, we obviously prepped for a couple of hours, but we started at 8 p.m.

00:57:28.000 Eastern, so we're not even an hour in.

00:57:30.000 Oh, God.

00:57:31.000 We're not even an hour in, but now you have media in Canada.

00:57:34.000 You have basically CBC.

00:57:35.000 What else do you have?

00:57:36.000 You have CBC, Radio Canada in Quebec.

00:57:39.000 Is there any non-government-funded news media anymore in Canada?

00:57:43.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:57:43.000 Oh, yeah.

00:57:44.000 There's lots of it.

00:57:45.000 CTV still operates.

00:57:46.000 There's plenty of non-government-funded... Well, CTV gets government credits.

00:57:51.000 Yeah, well, there's always been a lot of government support for public media in Canada or for broadcast media in Canada because it's faced such overwhelming competition from the U.S., although I think that's really become a non-issue in the last, I would say, ten years.

00:58:08.000 When I was young, Canadians had themselves wrapped in a knot trying to decide what their identity was, you know, in contrast to the United States.

00:58:17.000 That was the preoccupation of Toronto elites for like 20 years, but Canada is actually populated enough now and has enough big cities so that I think our concern about our national identity has decreased and Wait!

00:58:34.000 Hold on a second! 0.93

00:58:36.000 David Axelrod is on TV!

00:58:37.000 Jordan Peterson?

00:58:39.000 He's still there!

00:58:41.000 I'm amazed!

00:58:42.000 Did you know that he was still alive?

00:58:45.000 I'm afraid I didn't know that.

00:58:46.000 that he has no mustache anymore you know what's weird is is uh he has no upper lip look at that it almost looks like he had like like someone penciled in a lip and did not like a jackson uh one of the jacksons good lord maybe it shrank away because it didn't get any sunlight during those years it's like a caterpillar just crawled away and it was left shriveled Yeah, you know, it's funny you say that about Toronto media, about Canada media.

00:59:10.000 It seems to me when I lived there, their big identity was, we're not America.

00:59:14.000 That was a huge component to it.

00:59:17.000 Yeah, that's not much of an identity.

00:59:19.000 I mean, first, not being America isn't necessarily such a great thing, because America's actually not such a bad place.

00:59:25.000 Especially compared to the rest of the world, which is really the appropriate comparison, rather than some socialist utopia.

00:59:32.000 Of course, we've seen what those are like, especially with Venezuela.

00:59:35.000 The whole starving child thing down there doesn't seem to be working out very well for the radical leftists.

00:59:42.000 They've been suppressing that information because that's how you keep child mortality rates down in a totalitarian state.

00:59:49.000 Well, it's interesting that you bring that up, right?

00:59:51.000 Because we ran this story many times, Senator Bernie Sanders saying bread lines are not necessarily a bad thing.

00:59:56.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:59:57.000 Saying look at Venezuela, Sean Penn, I think Nancy Pelosi, but for sure Bernie Sanders, Sean Penn, all the celebrities saying look at Venezuela, it's unbelievable, it's criminal, they call him a dictator.

00:59:57.000 Right?

01:00:08.000 This man has done so much for the people of Venezuela and now that it's crumbling, they just don't talk about it.

01:00:13.000 They just sweep it aside and say what about Denmark?

01:00:15.000 Then the Danish Prime Minister says we're not socialists, we're a market-driven economy.

01:00:18.000 vacation aruba for the summer you can literally see venezuela just just you can figuratively see best weather just just in flames across the cross you could just like it's like it'd be interesting to to do a video compilation of of people's support for venezuelan politics and to ask them the questions about what they think now

01:00:37.000 Now, my suspicions are it'd be some conspiracy or theory about how Venezuela's economy is tanked because the capitalist countries have put sanctions on it or something like that, instead of noting the simple explanation, which is The policies were absolutely catastrophic.

01:00:51.000 Venezuela was actually a rich country.

01:00:53.000 That's the thing that's so terrifying.

01:00:55.000 It's one of the most resource-rich countries, I think, in the world.

01:00:58.000 Canada is one of the most resource-rich countries in the world as far as not only oil but mineral.

01:01:02.000 Not so much, you know, once you go past Quebec City, you're getting pretty seasonal with your fruits and vegetables there, Dr. Peterson.

01:01:10.000 I would say so, yeah.

01:01:11.000 Lots of squash.

01:01:13.000 But they move on from it, right?

01:01:15.000 Same thing today, we were just talking about.

01:01:15.000 Venezuela.

01:01:17.000 We just went through five fake Russia stories, because now they're moving on to the Mueller investigation.

01:01:22.000 They had Representative Schiff on here.

01:01:23.000 Nine months ago, he said he had information.

01:01:26.000 Nine months ago, and there's nothing.

01:01:28.000 It's becoming clearer and clearer.

01:01:29.000 There's nothing that they have.

01:01:30.000 But they had the fake Trump dossier.

01:01:32.000 They had the Scaramucci report.

01:01:33.000 They're facing a $100 million libel.

01:01:35.000 So CNN has, if you go back, they've talked about Russia forever.

01:01:38.000 And these stories were verifiably false.

01:01:40.000 So they just move on to the next one.

01:01:41.000 And I think it's very comparable to Venezuela, right?

01:01:44.000 They just say, oh, well, look how great Venezuela.

01:01:45.000 Oh, it crumbles.

01:01:46.000 Look how great the Canadian health care system is.

01:01:48.000 Now they allow privatized super hospital.

01:01:50.000 Look at Denmark, 180 percent car tax.

01:01:52.000 And so they just rather than say we were wrong.

01:01:55.000 And this is kind of socialism and Marxism and postmodernism to a T.

01:01:58.000 There's never been ever a successful example.

01:02:01.000 You just give it a little more time and it crumbles and they never acknowledge it.

01:02:05.000 They move on to the next portion of the cycle.

01:02:08.000 Well, I would say, though, in defense, like there are there are some things in Canada that are working quite well.

01:02:14.000 I would say the health care system here, it's not obvious to me that the health care system here works worse than it does in the US.

01:02:21.000 You know, I've lived in both places and I've had interactions with the health care system.

01:02:25.000 There are problems in Canada with wait times for certain operations and that's really a consequence of rationing that emerges because there isn't a private system.

01:02:36.000 That's a problem.

01:02:37.000 But you know, Our hospitals pay very low overhead compared to American hospitals with regards to doing things like collecting bills, because American hospitals have to have a huge administrative overhead just to handle their finances.

01:02:49.000 Oh sure, because of insurance.

01:02:51.000 Well, there's something about health care that doesn't easily fit into a strict capitalist paradigm, you know, and I think it might have something to do with the fact that there's actually infinite demand for it.

01:03:02.000 No, I'm not making the claim that a socialized medical system, A, would work in the U.S.

01:03:07.000 I mean, Canada is a much smaller country, and we instituted a socialized medical care system back in the 60s when this was also a much smaller country.

01:03:16.000 But it isn't obvious that it's not working Can I give you a couple of reasons why I think it's pretty obvious that it doesn't work?

01:03:26.000 Sure.

01:03:27.000 Obviously, wait times, mortality rates, no one would deny that.

01:03:30.000 If you have cancer, if you have a serious disease, your best chance of living, whether you're rich or poor, is in the United States.

01:03:34.000 But let me ask you this, right?

01:03:35.000 Lower overhead.

01:03:36.000 And you're right.

01:03:36.000 I don't think it's fair to just compare hospitals.

01:03:39.000 Because hospitals are based on a predicated idea of insurance, right?

01:03:43.000 And we have illegal immigrants here who use hospitals for their care. 1.00

01:03:46.000 No social security number, no credit card.

01:03:48.000 They never deny you care.

01:03:49.000 They just walk out and never pay.

01:03:50.000 But right now, for example, let's say you rupture your disc.

01:03:54.000 Right now, you blow it out.

01:03:56.000 You need to get an MRI done to figure out if you need back surgery.

01:04:00.000 Do you know how long you'd be waiting there and how much that would cost?

01:04:04.000 You mean how long I would be waiting in Canada?

01:04:06.000 Yeah, it would be many, many months.

01:04:08.000 Well, I know that I would be facing a relatively painful wait in the emergency room.

01:04:13.000 Yes.

01:04:14.000 Well, they don't have MRI machines in most emergency rooms, whereas here, I make a phone call right now, I pay $350, I have an MRI, and if I need surgery, I can be on the table by the afternoon.

01:04:24.000 So quality of care And then I also think it's important to remember one thing, and we've talked about this, you know, Canada can enjoy the luxury of a lot of these socialized programs because we, we protect the free world.

01:04:34.000 And then when even you look at that, it's okay.

01:04:36.000 Oh yeah, there we go.

01:04:37.000 It's true.

01:04:38.000 It's absolutely true.

01:04:40.000 But then...

01:04:41.000 How much research is coming out of Canada?

01:04:43.000 Medical research.

01:04:44.000 It's not even close, right?

01:04:45.000 So you can have lower overhead because the United States creates and innovates.

01:04:49.000 It's expensive to do.

01:04:51.000 And other countries say, well, we're going to subsidize it through the government.

01:04:53.000 But someone has to come up with, you know, with the newest cancer treatment.

01:04:57.000 Someone has to come up with the newest, you know, the newest, I don't know whether it's a pink, pink, someone has to find a fix for pancreatic cancer down the line.

01:05:05.000 They're not even trying in a lot of these other countries that offer socialized care, disregarding the quality.

01:05:10.000 So I do think I had to step I had to step outside the socialized medical system in Canada.

01:05:16.000 My daughter required an ankle replacement about five or six years ago.

01:05:21.000 Yeah, who is right?

01:05:22.000 It was pretty volleyball.

01:05:25.000 She has rheumatoid arthritis and so she had a hip and an ankle replacement when she was 16, so it was pretty bloody catastrophic.

01:05:35.000 So we learned everything you need to know about the medical system in a very painful amount of time.

01:05:42.000 We had to step outside the Canadian public medical system for the ankle replacement because the waiting list Waiting list was two years, which was completely impossible because she was in excruciating pain.

01:05:54.000 But I should say what's interesting is that the provincial government here, when we contacted them, actually helped us, strangely enough, arrange a private hospitalization for her in British Columbia.

01:06:08.000 And so Canada has done a reasonable job of trying to amalgamate a system that allows people access to emergency or to medical care with With some, you know, outside the rules speeding up.

01:06:24.000 Here's something interesting for you though, Steven.

01:06:26.000 Tell me what you think about this.

01:06:27.000 Okay.

01:06:28.000 Hold on one second, pause.

01:06:30.000 Pause, pause, pause.

01:06:31.000 Can I do it?

01:06:31.000 This is a CNN livestream.

01:06:32.000 You're much more interesting.

01:06:33.000 But hold on, let me see.

01:06:35.000 Current stopgap spending bill.

01:06:37.000 Children's health insurance program.

01:06:39.000 So basically they're saying kids are going to die.

01:06:41.000 Okay, spend computer.

01:06:42.000 Let's research that.

01:06:42.000 I heard them say nine million children are going to die with this bill.

01:06:45.000 Bring up why that's bullshit. 1.00

01:06:46.000 Nine million tiny Tims, right? 0.99

01:06:47.000 Yeah, nine million tiny Tims, they said earlier today.

01:06:49.000 Okay, Dr. Peterson, continue.

01:06:51.000 All right, guys, you're so heartless.

01:06:53.000 Yeah.

01:06:54.000 I know.

01:06:54.000 Start with what you were saying.

01:06:54.000 Continue.

01:06:56.000 Hmm.

01:06:57.000 Who's the Christmas robot?

01:06:59.000 That's Sven Computer.

01:07:01.000 He's our researcher.

01:07:01.000 He's here all the time.

01:07:03.000 He brings up the overlays.

01:07:04.000 Okay.

01:07:04.000 Oh, yes.

01:07:05.000 And he's got that tin hat on to protect him from, like, satellite radiation?

01:07:05.000 Yeah.

01:07:09.000 No, it's because he's a computer, Dr. Peterson.

01:07:11.000 Sven Computer, say hello.

01:07:12.000 Hello, Mr. Peterson.

01:07:13.000 I see.

01:07:14.000 Hey.

01:07:14.000 I see.

01:07:14.000 Hey.

01:07:15.000 Beep beep.

01:07:22.000 No, no, no, no, no.

01:07:23.000 You go over to Infowars and that may be the case.

01:07:26.000 He's just an actual living, breathing Sven computer.

01:07:29.000 Okay, so I'm playing devil's advocate here a little bit, but let me tell you something that's quite interesting.

01:07:33.000 So, the rate of private entrepreneurship in Canada per capita is actually higher than it is in the U.S.

01:07:41.000 And there's been some investigations into why that is.

01:07:44.000 I know it's hard to believe, but it happens to be the case.

01:07:46.000 And one explanation that's been floated is the fact that young people in particular have socialized medical care because they are completely covered no matter No matter, like from one job to another, no matter when they switch jobs, that they're much more able to take an entrepreneurial risk when they're young because they don't have to worry about health care coverage for themselves or their family.

01:08:07.000 So there's some evidence, and I'm not saying necessarily that it's reliable evidence, but there's some evidence that laying in that underlying, what would you call it, foundation of security enables people to take risks that they might not otherwise take.

01:08:20.000 Which I think is kind of a, if it's true, it's kind of comical that a socialized program would actually facilitate private enterprise.

01:08:28.000 So what do you think about that?

01:08:30.000 I'm not familiar with the study, but here is what I would say initially.

01:08:34.000 I mean, first off, we know if you look at Fortune 500 companies, if you look at companies that have innovated and created, I mean, even as a percentage of the population, it's just not even close with the United States.

01:08:43.000 I think Germany is the only European country up there.

01:08:45.000 But I would be very surprised.

01:08:47.000 As someone who left, you know, the world where I was at one point employed by other people, because I really wanted to start this myself, and now we employ 12 people, it never would have even crossed my mind Uh, that why I won't do it unless I get healthcare.

01:09:00.000 Yes, and 12 people who could have never found employment any other way, too.

01:09:03.000 Yes, this is true.

01:09:05.000 Thank you.

01:09:05.000 Tell them.

01:09:06.000 Tell them, because, uh... I was, I was telling them.

01:09:08.000 I'm sure they're listening.

01:09:09.000 Uh, but, uh, it never would have even crossed my mind.

01:09:12.000 That guy with the, like, the thin hat there.

01:09:13.000 Like, I don't know what he would have done.

01:09:16.000 It never even crossed my mind, and I can't imagine it crossing the mind of someone who really, because if you're an entrepreneur, you're taking a risk.

01:09:24.000 And so these people, inherently, like you would probably do with your personality assessment, this would probably go under industriousness, the people who really tend to rise to the top are people who take that risk.

01:09:34.000 And I can't imagine someone who would have been a successful entrepreneur, who would have started Apple, who would have started Microsoft, who would have started the company that, ElectroVoice that creates RE20s, But didn't end up doing it because they didn't have socialized healthcare with a two-year wait time for an ankle replacement.

01:09:51.000 I'm very skeptical of the claim.

01:09:53.000 I'm not saying it's wrong, but it doesn't seem to fit with the personality of an entrepreneur.

01:09:58.000 Well, I have this great idea for desalinizations that'll give us access to all of the world's water at a fraction of the price, but...

01:10:09.000 Yeah, I think it's probably more borderline cases, you know, where people are have our young people have a family that started and they're deciding whether they could risk an entrepreneurial venture or stay in a secure job.

01:10:20.000 You know, I think you're right that the people who are really classic entrepreneurs and they're high in openness, by the way, not conscientiousness that the entrepreneur entrepreneur types are like artists, not like not like managers and administrators.

01:10:34.000 They're high in openness, which actually predisposes them to liberalism, by the way, which is partly why places like Silicon Valley tend to be quite liberal.

01:10:41.000 Entrepreneurs and managers are quite different in their personality.

01:10:45.000 But anyways, I mean, I'm not all that interested in making a walloping strong case for the benefits of socializing.

01:10:51.000 No, no, I listen, but I understand it because you come on the show.

01:10:54.000 I don't want you to be labeled a right-wing extremist like myself.

01:10:57.000 We don't necessarily agree on everything, but... Hey, look, I've already been called Hitler, so...

01:11:01.000 I don't know if you... Have you been following the Lindsey Shepard affair with Wilfred Laurier University?

01:11:01.000 Yes.

01:11:05.000 Oh, I have.

01:11:05.000 I have.

01:11:06.000 But, you know, I would... We do have to let you go, Dr. Peterson, but if you don't want to be called Hitler, I would avoid the high step.

01:11:12.000 It's, you know, the way you walk is somewhat disconcerting, and there are really only two people who walk that way.

01:11:17.000 Hitler and yourself.

01:11:18.000 I know it's just... No.

01:11:19.000 It's a gate.

01:11:19.000 No, there's three.

01:11:21.000 John Cleese walks that way, too, at the Ministry of Silly Walks.

01:11:23.000 This is true!

01:11:24.000 At the Ministry of Silly Walks.

01:11:26.000 Dr. Peterson, where's the best place for people to go and take your personality quiz?

01:11:28.000 We have to go back to fact-checking CNN.

01:11:31.000 Yep, well, they can go to understandmyself.com for the personality test and selfauthoring.com if they want to write about their past and improve their future, and both of those really work.

01:11:43.000 All right, there you go.

01:11:44.000 And at Jordan B. Peterson on the Twitter.

01:11:46.000 Thank you, Dr. Peterson.

01:11:47.000 We have to go.

01:11:47.000 I have some fact-checking here on the CHIPS program.

01:11:50.000 We'll see you later.

01:11:51.000 Good.

01:11:52.000 All right, do you have this ready, Sven, computer, for the overlay?

01:11:56.000 Okay, so they're talking about, right now, CHIP.

01:11:58.000 They're saying that the Republicans are going to fund CHIP, the thing that Kimmel was basically talking about for his kid being sick.

01:12:02.000 The truth is that actually, the House passed legislation months ago to continue funding CHIP.

01:12:09.000 This is the whole thing, 9 million tiny Timbs are going to die.

01:12:11.000 No, for five years, Democrats opposed it because they didn't like the funding mechanism.

01:12:17.000 And by the way, it's important to note that CHIP has never gone unfunded. 1.00

01:12:20.000 So in the interim, while Kimmel was like, listen, I feel bad for your son, Not just because he's sick, but because his dad's a pussy. 0.99

01:12:27.000 But, you know, no one has taken away funding from your children. 1.00

01:12:31.000 We need a cure for pussy dads. 1.00

01:12:33.000 No one has taken away funding from Jimmy Kimmel's children. 0.99

01:12:35.000 And the House pushed, okay, we'll fund it for five years.

01:12:39.000 Democrats didn't like the funding mechanism, i.e.

01:12:41.000 that usually means Democrats don't like that it funds all of the other things.

01:12:46.000 For example, if I say, hey, we want – oh, you got it up there, Sven Computer?

01:12:49.000 From Ben Shapiro.

01:12:51.000 From Ben Shapiro. 0.98

01:12:52.000 Notorious Jewish Nazi. 0.96

01:12:52.000 Uh-oh. 0.96

01:12:54.000 Sorry, I just realized I don't have a cough mic, and I aerated the microphone.

01:13:00.000 I've eaten a big bowl of oatmeal this morning.

01:13:02.000 So this is just so funny to me that – okay, let me read this here.

01:13:06.000 here i think i have it from the chip hasn't gone the centers for medicare and medicaid services have been signing checks to states for the last two months last week president trump signed funding for chip to avoid the consequences of a government shutdown sanity majority leaders and on sunday we need to make sure that children's health insurance program that's chip just expiring gets to the panel before the end of the year they have taken so many measures republicans to make sure that this does not happen the premise on cnn is just republicans

01:13:29.000 Republicans are a and want to defund chip because they want nine million to use their words earlier for people who weren't on the hashtag Crowder CNN live stream.

01:13:38.000 They want you to believe that nine million tiny Tims will die because Republicans don't care about kids.

01:13:44.000 This is how they present the story.

01:13:47.000 Everything about that is false, including the attributed motive and intent.

01:13:51.000 I just possible government shutdown.

01:13:55.000 Possible government shutdown.

01:13:56.000 Here's one thing.

01:13:57.000 Remember when there was a government shutdown?

01:13:58.000 Remember when that happened?

01:13:59.000 Yeah, I didn't notice.

01:14:03.000 Nothing happens.

01:14:04.000 No, it's like, ah, I can't visit Yellowstone.

01:14:07.000 Oh, no.

01:14:13.000 And I think maybe if you're working... I don't even know if they have a government shutdown.

01:14:16.000 I don't even think federal employees stop getting their checks.

01:14:19.000 I'm not sure.

01:14:21.000 Someone can tweet me and fact check that.

01:14:22.000 I don't even know that that's the case.

01:14:23.000 But I know that it was like, oh, we won't be able to visit public parks.

01:14:26.000 Oh, no.

01:14:30.000 Oh, we have another guest already.

01:14:31.000 Oh, we have another guest.

01:14:32.000 All right, listen, are people able to tweet out the guest cards?

01:14:35.000 Yeah, they're going out.

01:14:35.000 Are they going out?

01:14:36.000 Okay, good.

01:14:36.000 We have another guest on with us.

01:14:37.000 So we just fact-checked Chip, not the one with Eric Estrada.

01:14:41.000 That was great, though.

01:14:43.000 We have Owen Benjamin with us on the Twitter, at the Owen Benjamin.

01:14:47.000 Or is it Owen Benjamin?

01:14:48.000 What is it?

01:14:49.000 Owen Benjamin?

01:14:49.000 It's just at Owen Benjamin, because the name is long enough.

01:14:51.000 Owen, how are you, sir?

01:14:53.000 Hello, Steven.

01:14:54.000 Have you been following?

01:14:56.000 I just woke up, my friend.

01:14:57.000 Ugh.

01:14:58.000 That's everyone.

01:14:59.000 Let's get up.

01:15:00.000 What do you want?

01:15:00.000 All right.

01:15:01.000 Do you want a recap?

01:15:01.000 So they've been saying, okay, is Trump, is Trump, is it meddling or collusion with the Russians?

01:15:06.000 They just said there are going to be 9 million tiny Tims who die because the Republicans don't want to fund the child health care initiative, CHIP as they call it, which is They tried to fund it for the next five years, but Democrats want it to fund all the things, and so they said no.

01:15:20.000 Um, Allison Camerota's hair doesn't move, and there's a guy in there who looks like... Remember those... Maybe you can help us.

01:15:25.000 Remember those balls?

01:15:26.000 Those, like, Nerf balls with the faces on them?

01:15:28.000 They're like monster balls or something?

01:15:29.000 You don't remember what I'm talking about? 0.95

01:15:31.000 I feel like I had a nightmare about one of those.

01:15:33.000 Yes!

01:15:34.000 Yeah.

01:15:35.000 Uh, well I was trying to remember the name of it.

01:15:36.000 It was his whole faces.

01:15:37.000 Yes, yes, yes.

01:15:38.000 I remember.

01:15:39.000 There's a guy on here who has that, and I don't know who he is.

01:15:41.000 So, that's what's happened thus far.

01:15:44.000 Uh, your thoughts?

01:15:47.000 Uh, the nine million tiny Tims is really funny.

01:15:49.000 I don't know how people haven't inoculated that yet.

01:15:53.000 Like, how are people taking any of that seriously?

01:15:56.000 Like, when CNN, like, anytime they do a policy thing, they're like, They're getting rid of a DMV, so 40 million unicorn children will die this morning.

01:16:05.000 And everyone's like, yeah, that's valid.

01:16:07.000 Yeah, that's a valid criticism.

01:16:09.000 Yeah, all the tiny Tims.

01:16:10.000 Which is almost impossible, because 6 million died from the net neutrality.

01:16:14.000 Yes, this is true.

01:16:15.000 6 million people died from net neutrality.

01:16:17.000 How many more have to die because Comcast can charge more if you watch 9 hours of 4K Netflix a day?

01:16:24.000 How many more people have to die? 30,000.

01:16:29.000 Alright, Owen, what's on your heart and mind?

01:16:32.000 I'll go back to CNN.

01:16:34.000 CNN is always going today.

01:16:35.000 It's like a Chinese water drip.

01:16:37.000 I did waterboarding.

01:16:38.000 It's like a Chinese water torture. 0.56

01:16:39.000 It's a slow drip.

01:16:40.000 I know.

01:16:41.000 It just gives me cortisol.

01:16:43.000 When I watch CNN, I just get this stress hormone where I'm just like, oh, I'm in Levity Live in New York and last night I did a show and kind of, I did an extra half hour and was just kind of ranting about various things.

01:16:56.000 Yes.

01:16:57.000 Oh, geez, we missed.

01:16:58.000 We missed.

01:16:59.000 We went late.

01:16:59.000 We missed.

01:17:00.000 Well, I'll just have to swap him with the first YouTube Carol.

01:17:03.000 I forgot.

01:17:03.000 That's true.

01:17:04.000 We have the whole premiere today of a YouTube Carol, which is the tale of Ebeneezer YouTube.

01:17:04.000 Sorry, Owen.

01:17:08.000 You know this well.

01:17:08.000 We were on with Jordan Peterson so long.

01:17:10.000 Hey, look!

01:17:11.000 It's the Quadrant View!

01:17:12.000 Okay, here's a funny story about that, Owen.

01:17:14.000 I don't know if you can see.

01:17:14.000 Can Owen see that at all?

01:17:16.000 I can see it.

01:17:17.000 One time, I swear this is true, I was at Fox News.

01:17:17.000 You see the Quadrant View?

01:17:20.000 Okay?

01:17:21.000 That's enough of the Quadrant View.

01:17:21.000 That's okay.

01:17:23.000 Don't show them more CNN than they have to see.

01:17:25.000 So I was at Fox, and we were at the same desk.

01:17:29.000 In the same room.

01:17:30.000 And they're like, Oh, one of our one of our satellite people, they couldn't make it.

01:17:33.000 So what we're gonna do is we're gonna put you in quadrants.

01:17:36.000 So it looks more international.

01:17:38.000 So it looks like you know, we have more people coming together.

01:17:40.000 And I just like so just just don't just we're gonna be in a quadrant.

01:17:43.000 Just don't look at them look at the camera.

01:17:45.000 So I'm here.

01:17:45.000 Right.

01:17:46.000 I think I might have been Lonnie Davis.

01:17:48.000 So I'm here in Lion Davis, and we're talking to the camera, and then right at the very end of it, I said, all right, high five.

01:17:54.000 And I reached into his box.

01:17:55.000 No way!

01:17:56.000 That's awesome!

01:17:57.000 And I got called into the second floor with the vice presidents at Fox, and they were like, oh, you can't do that. 0.90

01:18:03.000 And I was like, this is so silly! 0.93

01:18:04.000 Why? 0.91

01:18:06.000 What if it turns out they're just huge Brady Bunch fans? 1.00

01:18:08.000 I was like, here's a story of a dick named Lemon! 0.99

01:18:12.000 And a random black guy in the corner. 0.99

01:18:17.000 We think he writes for the Wall Street Journal, but we didn't pay for access.

01:18:24.000 That's one thing.

01:18:24.000 Wall Street Journal has the best articles out of the old papers, but you have to pay for the access.

01:18:28.000 So what I do is I go on mobile.

01:18:30.000 Is this illegal what I'm about to say?

01:18:33.000 No.

01:18:34.000 I go on mobile, and what I do is I load it, and before it finishes loading, I hit the reader view button on my phone.

01:18:43.000 You just killed nine million more children.

01:18:46.000 Nine million just died.

01:18:49.000 And I didn't hear you.

01:18:49.000 What was that, Sven Computer?

01:18:50.000 Okay, what was it?

01:18:52.000 But you do realize we now have a Wall Street Journal account.

01:18:54.000 We do have a Wall Street Journal account?

01:18:55.000 For two weeks now.

01:18:56.000 That makes me feel better about myself.

01:18:57.000 We're moving on up.

01:19:00.000 Oh, and where are you going to be appearing next?

01:19:01.000 Are you taking a break here for Christmas?

01:19:04.000 I'll be, uh, I'm not performing at Christmas, but I'm at Levity Live this weekend.

01:19:08.000 Okay, where's that?

01:19:10.000 It's in, uh, West Nile, New York.

01:19:11.000 It's like a little north of New York City, but south of where I live in the Adirondacks, so they don't really have an accurate identity of who they are.

01:19:17.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:19:18.000 Like, it's like the city versus, like, I live with, like, bears.

01:19:22.000 Like, we're like north-of-the-wall wildling type people.

01:19:25.000 And then you have New York City, and then you have this, like, weird little, like, mall area.

01:19:29.000 Yeah.

01:19:30.000 And New York City is just the eunuch who hangs around Daenerys.

01:19:34.000 Or Peter Dinklage.

01:19:36.000 Everyone chops their ween off at the bridge.

01:19:38.000 Yeah, exactly.

01:19:39.000 It's the eunuch who's conniving, but he manipulates Peter Dinklage.

01:19:42.000 I think that you need to do this.

01:19:45.000 Inherit your rightful role.

01:19:48.000 They're always whispering in each other's ears everywhere you go.

01:19:51.000 In New York City, everyone's like, don't believe him. 0.94

01:19:58.000 He is lies.

01:20:00.000 He wants to defund Chip.

01:20:00.000 Yeah.

01:20:02.000 Nine million Tiny Tims dead.

01:20:05.000 Compliment his shoes even though you don't believe it.

01:20:10.000 Alison Camerota, your hair flows like that of golden yarn spun by the gods.

01:20:16.000 What's weird to me is, do you notice with King- Oh god, it's like angry long-faced Ben Shapiro with a buzz cut.

01:20:24.000 If you take Ben Shapiro's face, punch him so you're left, so from his right, so his nose goes, buzz cut him, and then lengthen the face in Photoshop without hitting shift.

01:20:24.000 That's great.

01:20:36.000 It's Shapiro! 1.00

01:20:38.000 Ben had sex with Latino Eric Trump. 1.00

01:20:41.000 He looks like the guy whose dad just never picked him up from soccer practice. 1.00

01:20:48.000 Like, when you just stand there, it's just kinda like, where's dad?

01:20:51.000 He's gonna be here.

01:20:52.000 I know he cares about me.

01:20:54.000 He said he's gonna be here.

01:20:54.000 Oh, right.

01:20:55.000 He does a lot of online poker.

01:20:57.000 I love how they have to say Getty Images.

01:20:59.000 Whose phone is ringing in the studio?

01:21:00.000 I love how it says Getty Images on there, on CNN, which is just so funny to me.

01:21:04.000 They're getting their images from the same place we are.

01:21:07.000 I know, it's just like a normal guy.

01:21:10.000 Like, CNN's just like a dude.

01:21:12.000 Like, it's funny.

01:21:12.000 That's all it is.

01:21:13.000 We used to assume, like, well, this comes from news.

01:21:15.000 They're just reporting on things that we've talked about before they're reporting on them.

01:21:20.000 Like, it's online, and then it's on CNN two to three hours later.

01:21:20.000 That's all it is.

01:21:24.000 There's no breaking.

01:21:25.000 It's like, breaking!

01:21:26.000 You're like, well, hold on a second.

01:21:27.000 You just read something on Twitter, or you read something that we wrote, and now you're using Getty Images, and, you know, because you paid...

01:21:33.000 There's no advantage to it anymore.

01:21:35.000 Nikki Haley is fine, though.

01:21:36.000 I do think she's fine.

01:21:37.000 Don't you think Nikki Haley's pretty fine for a lass her age?

01:21:41.000 Oh, look at that, look at that.

01:21:41.000 Yeah.

01:21:44.000 I don't feel like you'd believe that. 0.98

01:21:45.000 Trump just always looks like such a silverback gorilla. 0.80

01:21:49.000 Like, he's just like, what? 0.94

01:21:51.000 Look at Nikki Haley. 0.80

01:21:51.000 You don't think she's a pretty woman? 0.80

01:21:53.000 She's a very pretty woman.

01:21:54.000 I think Nikki Haley's pretty. 0.75

01:21:55.000 Like, people, they just always throw that out, like, with Republicans.

01:21:57.000 They're like, uh, you know, like Michelle Bachman.

01:22:00.000 I'm like, listen, no.

01:22:01.000 Like, Sarah Palin was pretty, but there's like any, any conservator, like Ann Coulthard or Laura Ingraham.

01:22:05.000 I don't know.

01:22:06.000 I think Nikki Haley is a genuinely pretty woman.

01:22:09.000 And I don't think she'd make a bad thing.

01:22:10.000 Why not as hot as Nancy Pelosi is hot. 1.00

01:22:13.000 Yes.

01:22:14.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:22:14.000 Well, she's like the dark crystal because she never, she never ages because she's sucking the souls. 0.99

01:22:20.000 But she looks like it's the souls that sucked out of her body. 0.96

01:22:23.000 Out of the eyesight bit?

01:22:25.000 That was such a traumatizing feeble.

01:22:27.000 I can't bring myself to watch it.

01:22:28.000 Oh, I can't bring myself to watch it either.

01:22:29.000 Hold on, let me look at the schedule, Owen, to see where we have to hit.

01:22:33.000 Okay, we do have a guest there at 9.

01:22:34.000 We have James O'Keefe.

01:22:36.000 Then we have Gavin McInnes.

01:22:38.000 So it's a busy day.

01:22:39.000 I'm trying to see, is there anything else, Sven Computer, that CNN has said that we need to fact check?

01:22:45.000 It seems like they've just been on Trump-Russia and Republicans wanting to kill children, right?

01:22:50.000 Apparently that's the case. 0.99

01:22:51.000 Beep, beep. 0.92

01:22:52.000 Okay.

01:22:52.000 Nine million tiny Tim's dead.

01:22:55.000 Owen, listen, you've been with us now for long enough.

01:22:58.000 Or is he gone?

01:22:59.000 I'm right here.

01:23:00.000 Oh, he's still here.

01:23:01.000 Owen, you've been with us long enough.

01:23:02.000 You've – I just don't like you talking about your other guests while I'm here.

01:23:07.000 Sorry.

01:23:08.000 Owen, how many fake Trump-Russia stories have there been?

01:23:13.000 And do you notice that they just... This is the thing I'm noticing today.

01:23:16.000 They just move on to the next one.

01:23:18.000 They just move on to the next one, even though it's verifiably false.

01:23:20.000 Like, they're facing a $100 million libel suit right now for reports and dossiers that we know were wrong.

01:23:25.000 They never acknowledge it.

01:23:26.000 Now they're just moving on to another one, which will be false tomorrow.

01:23:29.000 It's just nonstop.

01:23:31.000 I did a bit a year ago.

01:23:32.000 I put it on YouTube a year ago that's still valid to show just how full of it they are.

01:23:38.000 It was the one about, like, Trump-Russia, where it's like, but you still did hack the emails though, right?

01:23:46.000 The emails are true, and the Democrats are like, well, yeah, but that's not the issue here.

01:23:52.000 The issue, and then, like, in the bit, nothing more has come out since then.

01:23:57.000 Like, not one thing has changed.

01:23:59.000 Like, they keep being like, oh, yeah, he got peed on in Russia, and then it turns out it wasn't true, and then they're like, there's more breaking news.

01:24:06.000 Well, Judd Apatow, I just watched, have you seen Judd Apatow's comedy special on Netflix?

01:24:11.000 No, I don't want to kill myself.

01:24:13.000 Well, here's the thing.

01:24:13.000 It was actually it was funny.

01:24:15.000 It was actually the least profane he's been.

01:24:17.000 Like it could have been a PG-13.

01:24:19.000 And it was actually really it wasn't like he's not a strong stand up.

01:24:22.000 But him talking about his family and these stories, he was actually pretty likable until he got to talking about politics.

01:24:28.000 And then he just said, like, we know the Trump thing isn't true.

01:24:32.000 But wouldn't it be great if it were and used it to go into this lazy launch into Trump?

01:24:37.000 But I feel as though that's effectively just what the news is saying, what they're doing.

01:24:40.000 That was also, remember, that was also the, uh, the, the Booker who was booking for, was it Bill Maher?

01:24:40.000 They're just saying.

01:24:44.000 Bill Maher.

01:24:45.000 But what did he like?

01:24:45.000 Yeah.

01:24:46.000 Yeah, Bill Maher.

01:24:47.000 I wasn't on Bill Maher.

01:24:48.000 Yeah, they did the pre-interview test.

01:24:50.000 This was after Beauty and the Beast, and I was laughing, like, what are you talking about?

01:24:50.000 Yeah.

01:24:54.000 I said, well, on the show we talked about in Beauty and the Beast today how there aren't enough black roles, but we put black people in powdered wigs in French colonial eras, and like, you know, obviously it goes both ways.

01:25:04.000 She was like, well, you think you want to talk about Disney on air?

01:25:06.000 I was like, no, you asked me what I was talking about.

01:25:08.000 She's like, well, what about the Russian dossier?

01:25:10.000 I'm like, well, it's fake.

01:25:10.000 She's like, well, what if it weren't?

01:25:12.000 Don't you feel like that's the news now?

01:25:13.000 Like, it's fake, but what if it weren't?

01:25:16.000 That's the whole thing.

01:25:18.000 100%.

01:25:18.000 It's the best time to be a comic right now of all time.

01:25:21.000 Because it's almost like all these other comedians are just crippling themselves and just the fact that all make fun of, like, Islam.

01:25:29.000 I feel like that one boat who made it in Gump, like when the storm hits and all the other fishing boats are just ruined and then Gump's boat just sails out.

01:25:40.000 Because it's like all these other comics refuse to acknowledge, like, all these hilarious premises.

01:25:45.000 I know.

01:25:46.000 It's just non-stop.

01:25:47.000 Oh look, I guess SD Cup has a show now.

01:25:50.000 Thank God for House of Cards, that really boosted her career. 0.67

01:25:52.000 She was at Fox for a while, then MSNBC, now she's got the sexy librarian schtick going on at CNN. 1.00

01:25:57.000 Good for her.

01:25:57.000 Alright, listen, Owen, we have to, I like SC Cup, but let's be honest here.

01:26:01.000 Do you think she woke up accident and like, it's like, okay, what am I going to today?

01:26:07.000 Sexy librarian! 0.93

01:26:08.000 And then she goes in Tuesday, okay, let me look, and sexy librarian! 1.00

01:26:13.000 Fast forward Friday, sexy librarian it is!

01:26:16.000 That's my thing!

01:26:18.000 Alright, Owen!

01:26:20.000 I know, I know.

01:26:20.000 I'm sorry for bringing you into this.

01:26:22.000 Where's the best place for people to find you, brother?

01:26:24.000 Uh, my webs- my web- uh, my YouTube!

01:26:27.000 YouTube slash Owen Benjamin Comedy.

01:26:30.000 YouTube slash Owen Benjamin Comedy, and of course, YouTube Carol's gonna be coming up, and Owen, uh, helped us with this behind the scenes.

01:26:36.000 Thank you so much.

01:26:37.000 I don't know if we'll be talking- we won't be talking on air before the new year, but you and I will definitely be talking, uh, here before then.

01:26:43.000 Love you, brother!

01:26:43.000 Thanks so much!

01:26:44.000 Have a good one!

01:26:45.000 Go get some sleep!

01:26:46.000 All right, later buddy.

01:26:47.000 See you very much, whichever that means.

01:26:49.000 Okay, soon UN votes on Trump's Jerusalem decision.

01:26:52.000 Considering that the UN might as well be called the We Hate Israel Committee, I can guess what's going to happen there.

01:26:59.000 Look, three people who I like, and then the name of one that I don't, the UN.

01:27:06.000 Okay, hold on a second.

01:27:09.000 Hey look, that guy's Skyping in and he looks worse than Owen did.

01:27:12.000 He also, his eyebrows look like he's perpetually surprised, or he just banged the burgermeistermeisterburger.

01:27:20.000 Look at his eyebrows!

01:27:21.000 I couldn't, I couldn't train my eyebrows to look like that if I tried.

01:27:29.000 It looks like he had a concerning moment of a fart about to escape, and his face just froze that way.

01:27:34.000 Oh wow!

01:27:35.000 Hey, we're trending on Twitter, people!

01:27:37.000 So everyone, tweet right now, hashtag CrowderCNNLivestream.

01:27:41.000 We're trending and it's 8.24, you haven't even seen the first YouTube, Carol.

01:27:44.000 Trust me, this is the worst part of today.

01:27:47.000 We had to get through some kinks, it's gonna get better. 1.00

01:27:48.000 I'm gonna have Jared in my chair here.

01:27:50.000 But, Crowder CNN Livestream, everyone out there, everyone right now, everyone, the whole Crowder army, right now, I demand, I ask you, tweet out, Crowder CNN Livestream and Mug Club, join up, because this is how we fight CNN.

01:28:03.000 Let me tell you something, people say, what's the end goal here?

01:28:05.000 Alright, this is, let me just be real, and then we'll go to, can we move James O'Keefe back?

01:28:10.000 Oh, he's at nine, okay, good.

01:28:12.000 So we'll do this, and then we're gonna launch the very first segment ever of a YouTube Carol.

01:28:16.000 People say, what's the endgame?

01:28:18.000 The goal here is to, in two years' time, be bigger than any late night show out there.

01:28:23.000 That means Kimmel, Fallon, Conan, and by the way, we're already at the heels of the late, late nights.

01:28:30.000 The James Cordens, the Seth Meyers, okay?

01:28:31.000 And certainly online and new media.

01:28:32.000 If you go clip for clip, it's not even close.

01:28:34.000 Our goal is to be bigger than them. 0.99

01:28:36.000 Our goal is to double, triple, quadruple our size and employees and grow so that we have a network of people and that we can kick CNN's ass every single day. 0.98

01:28:44.000 They are so We employ everybody here. 0.97

01:28:47.000 It is exclusively through Mug Club.

01:28:50.000 $99 annually.

01:28:50.000 $69 for students, veterans, or active military.

01:28:53.000 Enter in the code STUDENTVETERANMILITARY.

01:28:55.000 But here's the thing.

01:28:56.000 YouTube's demonetized us.

01:28:57.000 Twitter's been Twitter's throttled.

01:28:59.000 Facebook.

01:29:00.000 You can Google Steven Crowder Facebook.

01:29:02.000 You'll find the article on Engadget.

01:29:04.000 We employ everybody here.

01:29:05.000 It is exclusively through Mug Club.

01:29:06.000 Ninety nine dollars annually.

01:29:08.000 Sixty nine for students, veterans or active military.

01:29:10.000 Enter in the code student veteran military.

01:29:13.000 Not only do you get our show, but you also get Gavin McInnes.

01:29:16.000 You get Mark Levin.

01:29:17.000 You get Phil Robertson.

01:29:18.000 Now you have Roaming Millennials. 0.97

01:29:19.000 Who else did they just add?

01:29:20.000 Roaming Millennial?

01:29:22.000 Oh, Andrew Wilkow.

01:29:23.000 So you get a whole network of people.

01:29:26.000 You get this show daily, Morning Grinders, but more importantly, and listen, if you don't want to watch the show every night, you absolutely don't have to, but more importantly, we're able to put out more free content than ever.

01:29:36.000 Because of MugClub. 0.81

01:29:37.000 Right now we're able to do 16 hours of free content.

01:29:39.000 Hashtag CrowderCNN livestream.

01:29:40.000 Tweet it out.

01:29:41.000 Let people know.

01:29:42.000 This is free because people have paid to support it.

01:29:46.000 That's why.

01:29:46.000 The paid content.

01:29:47.000 That's why we're able to interview Wendy Davis as a tranny in SheNotKnow. 1.00

01:29:51.000 That's why we're able to go undercover in Antifa.

01:29:53.000 That's what we're able to do.

01:29:54.000 Change my mind.

01:29:55.000 Think about this for a second.

01:29:56.000 This right now is three people.

01:29:58.000 Three people.

01:29:58.000 Okay?

01:29:59.000 The Burgermeister.

01:30:00.000 He looks like the Joker who's been using Brand X when he tries to paint himself off.

01:30:05.000 I don't know who the middle girl is. 0.99

01:30:06.000 She's kind of cute.

01:30:07.000 The lady on the left is like candy. 1.00

01:30:09.000 It's like she's the candy.

01:30:10.000 You know the dinosaur that you put in water to expand?

01:30:12.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:30:13.000 But the before of Candy Crowley.

01:30:15.000 That's the one on the left.

01:30:16.000 And they've got right now someone doing this.

01:30:19.000 Cueing them.

01:30:20.000 Going go.

01:30:21.000 And they have 30 seconds.

01:30:22.000 The biggest success this year hasn't been our undercover videos.

01:30:25.000 We're incredibly grateful to be able to do it.

01:30:27.000 Has been to change my mindset.

01:30:29.000 It's opposite of everything you'd expect to be successful.

01:30:32.000 It's the opposite of this.

01:30:33.000 It's raw, and the only way we're able to do it, the only way we're able to do it is through Mug Club.

01:30:38.000 Because we're able to take the time, it takes 2-3 days to go off, find a location, get a permit, hire security so that I don't get killed, go down and just record.

01:30:47.000 And by the way, during the Christmas break we have another pro-life change in my mind, this one gets a little hostile.

01:30:51.000 So it's all because of people who've joined up at Mug Club, we cannot thank you enough.

01:30:54.000 And because of people who have paid, they've been awesome too.

01:30:57.000 Our fans aren't selfish.

01:30:58.000 That's what's awesome.

01:30:59.000 They're not like, oh, we're paying for Muck Club.

01:31:00.000 Why are you doing a free stream?

01:31:01.000 They know that they're paying to get more content so that we can provide more free content.

01:31:05.000 It's like the opposite of tax dollars when you think like, ah, geez, my tax dollars, they pay for what? 0.97

01:31:10.000 Tranny nipples? 0.99

01:31:10.000 Right. 0.99

01:31:11.000 No.

01:31:12.000 It's like the opposite.

01:31:13.000 Like, oh, my Muck Club dollar is paid for a Wendy Davis interview as a tranny. 1.00

01:31:13.000 It's like the reward. 1.00

01:31:18.000 And it changed my mind, and now, you know, we're fast approaching, we might end the year with 1.2 million, the goal was 900,000 subscribers this year, we're at like 1.14 on YouTube.

01:31:28.000 We don't make money off of them, but guess what it does?

01:31:31.000 It allows us to be right next to the Young Turks. 0.98

01:31:33.000 The whole reason for the mug, you watch the Daily Show because you're a fan, but for the people who aren't, who are watching, the Young Turks going, Is this bullshit? 1.00

01:31:40.000 I think it's kind of bullshit. 0.99

01:31:42.000 Our video is right next to theirs, and that's what we're doing today with CNN. 1.00

01:31:45.000 I'm getting aggravated just listening to the bullcrap.

01:31:48.000 If they're going to talk about Jerusalem and say anything other than Jerusalem belongs to and has always belonged to Israel, Hamas, democratically elected, has the destruction of all Jews in their charter, they're the bad guy, Israel's the good guy, we give Jerusalem to the good guy, period. 0.87

01:32:04.000 If there's anything other than this, I'm gonna blow my lid live on air.

01:32:07.000 Are we ready to go to the first?

01:32:09.000 We are ready.

01:32:10.000 Okay, this is, for people who don't, hash, right now, everyone tune in.

01:32:13.000 This is going, this is about to kick off a five-part miniseries.

01:32:17.000 Some cameos, some of your favorite guests.

01:32:19.000 This is the tale of Ebenezer YouTube, a clutching, covetous, throttling, censoring old sinner visited by three spirits, the ghost of YouTube past, present, and future.

01:32:29.000 To warn him of his ways, to warn him of the possible future of YouTube, and to see if we have a tale of redemption.

01:32:35.000 So I present to you the very first segment right now.

01:32:38.000 We'll have the five segments throughout the day of a YouTube Carol.

01:32:43.000 The End

01:33:13.000 The End Wazjiski was dead to begin with. 0.99

01:33:40.000 As dead as a doornail.

01:33:42.000 In life, Wojcicki was business partners with a shrewd totalitarian in Ebenezer U2.

01:33:53.000 He was a tight-fisted hand at the grindstone, old Ebenezer U2. 0.77

01:33:58.000 A squeezing, wrenching, censoring, throttling, covetous old sinner. 0.99

01:34:03.000 Sound got crushed?

01:34:26.000 Yes sir, Mr. Ebenezer YouTube, sir.

01:34:30.000 Who's this?

01:34:31.000 He's a partner, sir.

01:34:33.000 And I believe he's here to discuss your recent demonetization.

01:34:38.000 Is that so?

01:34:40.000 Mr. YouTube, sir.

01:34:40.000 Yes, sir.

01:34:42.000 See, sir.

01:34:43.000 With all the new changes with the advertising algorithm.

01:34:46.000 It hits our channels real hard, sir.

01:34:49.000 We can't make ends meet no more, sir.

01:34:51.000 It's the holidays, sir.

01:34:53.000 It's my wife.

01:34:54.000 Lord, she's sick, it's her lungs. 1.00

01:34:57.000 They ain't acting right, sir. 1.00

01:34:58.000 The bitch can't breathe. 1.00

01:35:00.000 Could you just please explain to me the new policy, sir? 1.00

01:35:04.000 So, you know, so a n**** can earn a living again, sir? 1.00

01:35:08.000 And so, you want to make a living off of YouTube? 0.97

01:35:11.000 Yes, sir, Mr. YouTube, sir.

01:35:14.000 I mean, I've been doing it for years, sir.

01:35:16.000 Oh, and so because you made a living off YouTube Oh, no, Mr. YouTube, sir. 0.99

01:35:24.000 You don't know us n****s, sh**. 0.91

01:35:26.000 I just wanted an opportunity to earn a living again like I used to, sir. 0.98

01:35:31.000 See, sir, nobody understands the undisclosed policy, sir.

01:35:35.000 I was here from the very beginning, you know?

01:35:38.000 All you had was a bunch of cat videos.

01:35:40.000 Is there no Mark Space?

01:35:41.000 Is there no Tumblr?

01:35:44.000 Well, of course, sir.

01:35:45.000 There's always those, sir.

01:35:47.000 Oh, thank heavens.

01:35:48.000 For a moment, I was worried.

01:35:50.000 I've worked really hard, sir.

01:35:52.000 I have over 3 million subscribers.

01:35:55.000 If I don't figure out this algorithm, my videos might as well be dead.

01:36:00.000 If you'd rather your videos die, you better go and let them do it and decrease the surplus population. 0.99

01:36:07.000 You gonna let this n***a talk to us like that? 1.00

01:36:09.000 Man, shut up, bitch! 1.00

01:36:10.000 Man, what are you talking about, man? 1.00

01:36:12.000 We even did everything he said.

01:36:14.000 All the advertising we spent on our YouTube channel. 0.99

01:36:16.000 I said shut up, man. 1.00

01:36:17.000 You acting like a damn liberal. 1.00

01:36:19.000 Well, man, we did everything he did. 1.00

01:36:20.000 We even went to that YouTube workshop.

01:36:23.000 He even charged us for it.

01:36:24.000 You two chose to grow your business by investing in YouTube and my platform with your time and money.

01:36:29.000 That's not my business, but your own.

01:36:32.000 Not your business? 1.00

01:36:34.000 Bitch, you crazy as hell. 1.00

01:36:35.000 Man, shut up! 1.00

01:36:36.000 Now be quiet now! 1.00

01:36:37.000 What are you talking about? 1.00

01:36:39.000 You just gonna sit there and be a little bitch? 1.00

01:36:41.000 No man, you need to shut up! 1.00

01:36:43.000 You know what? 1.00

01:36:43.000 Shut up! 1.00

01:36:44.000 I got something for you. 1.00

01:36:46.000 Yeah, you wanna see it?

01:36:47.000 Look what we got.

01:36:48.000 What do you got?

01:36:49.000 Right here man.

01:36:50.000 What you got for me?

01:36:51.000 Right here is your Coon of the Year Award. 1.00

01:36:55.000 Get off me John!

01:36:57.000 Get off me! 1.00

01:36:57.000 I have 20th time for this kind of picture about you on the end. 1.00

01:37:00.000 I'm sorry, Mr.

01:37:03.000 What the ?

01:37:04.000 But Mr. Ebenezer, you too, sir.

01:37:08.000 I haven't time to make myself a Merry Christmas.

01:37:08.000 It's Christmas!

01:37:11.000 And I certainly haven't time to make idle people merry. 0.99

01:37:13.000 And if I had my way, every fool who went about with words Merry Christmas on his lips would be boiled with his own pudding and buried with the sake of a holly through his heart. 0.98

01:37:27.000 So you more of a Hanukkah guy? 1.00

01:37:28.000 Get out! 0.98

01:37:30.000 Out! 0.58

01:37:31.000 Out! 0.58

01:37:31.000 Yes sir, Mr YouTube's up! 0.58

01:37:33.000 It's just a device.

01:37:34.000 It's only, it's just a device. 0.98

01:37:36.000 Do whatever the f*** you want to do!

01:37:40.000 Mr. Cratchit, I want this demonetization report on my desk with great haste. 0.84

01:37:46.000 Yes sir, Mr. YouTube.

01:37:47.000 Yes sir.

01:37:50.000 Find us a legal way to shut down Mug Club. 0.66

01:37:53.000 But Mr. YouTube sir, we have no jurisdiction over Mug Club.

01:37:56.000 I don't know that, Mr. Cratchit, but it's the paint content off the platform that allows these street legends to upload more free content than ever on my platform on YouTube.

01:38:08.000 So, you just don't want them to make a living at all?

01:38:11.000 You'll find yourself out of a living soon if you don't do as I say, Creshet.

01:38:14.000 Yes, sir, Mr. YouTube.

01:38:15.000 I'll find a way to make sure no one makes a living off of that content, sir.

01:38:19.000 You'll be wanting the whole day tomorrow, I suppose?

01:38:35.000 If it would be convenient, sir.

01:38:37.000 It is decidedly not convenient.

01:38:39.000 If I were to halt your day's wages, I bet you'd feel yourself ill-used.

01:38:44.000 It only comes once a year, sir.

01:38:45.000 It's a poor excuse for picking a man's pocket every December 25th.

01:38:52.000 Have the demonetization report on my desk all the earlier the next morning.

01:38:55.000 Yes, sir.

01:38:55.000 Yes sir, thank you Mr. Sir.

01:38:57.000 After closing his shop for the evening, Ebenezer YouTube walked his melancholy self through the cold, melancholy streets until he found himself at a familiar, melancholy melancholy streets until he found himself at a familiar, melancholy home.

01:39:17.000 It was old enough now, and dreary enough, for nobody lived in it but Ebenezer U2 himself.

01:39:25.000 For darkness was cheap, and Ebenezer YouTube liked it.

01:39:30.000 BELL RINGS

01:40:00.000 BELL RINGS In life, I was your former partner.

01:40:21.000 YouTube CEO, Susan Wojcicki.

01:40:25.000 Susan.

01:40:29.000 Is that really you? 1.00

01:40:31.000 Oh, son of a bitch. 1.00

01:40:34.000 I already said it was me. 1.00

01:40:36.000 Well, why are you here?

01:40:39.000 Why are you wearing those terrible chains?

01:40:42.000 Oh, I formed these chains in life.

01:40:45.000 Due to my misleading business practices, my censorship, and general malfeasance, Ebeneezer, I came to warn you.

01:40:56.000 Your chain was as big as mine when I got here, and you've been adding to it. 0.94

01:41:05.000 Oh, you've got a big-ass chain.

01:41:07.000 How far above YouTube CEO Susan Wojcicki?

01:41:10.000 Speak comfort to me.

01:41:11.000 Did you say comfort?

01:41:13.000 I can't hear you!

01:41:15.000 These chains forged in hell are kinda noisy.

01:41:21.000 Oh, you'll be visited by three spirits.

01:41:25.000 There's still hope for you, Ebeneezer YouTube.

01:41:29.000 Expect the first spirit when the bell tolls one.

01:41:33.000 First spirits?

01:41:34.000 Couldn't I make them all at once get over with? 0.99

01:41:37.000 Oh, don't be a dick! 0.98

01:41:40.000 The spirits will come on the breaking of a new hour. 1.00

01:41:45.000 Oh, Ebenezer!

01:41:47.000 Change your ways! 1.00

01:41:49.000 Don't be a dick, Ebenezer, you too! 1.00

01:41:53.000 Don't be a dick! 1.00

01:41:55.000 You were always such a dick! 1.00

01:41:57.000 Don't be that dick! 1.00

01:41:59.000 You might have sucked some dick, too! 1.00

01:42:06.000 As ominously as the spirit had appeared, so it vanished into darkness. 1.00

01:42:14.000 What happens with Ebenezer YouTube in the next few segments.

01:42:32.000 There are four more to go.

01:42:35.000 Send computer, bring up Twitter.

01:42:36.000 Just bring up the Twitter feed, period, and we'll see the reaction.

01:42:39.000 I'm getting some crazy reactions right now.

01:42:40.000 Clint Howard in drag.

01:42:42.000 No, it's not Clint Howard, it's Susan Wojcicki.

01:42:46.000 Send computer, are you able to bring up the Twitter?

01:42:50.000 It will take another ten seconds.

01:42:55.000 He doesn't even realize it's in his contract.

01:42:59.000 Gosh, so much for a neural net processor, a learning computer.

01:43:03.000 Send me your tweets.

01:43:04.000 Hashtag CrowderCNNLivestream.

01:43:06.000 Send us your tweets.

01:43:07.000 What do you think?

01:43:08.000 How do you like Ebeneezer YouTube?

01:43:10.000 Again, this actually gets pretty wild and wooly and entirely funded by Mug Club Productions in association with CRTV.

01:43:17.000 You join, we can do these kinds of... It's basically a movie.

01:43:20.000 It's like 40 minutes.

01:43:22.000 No, it's not Dennis Prager.

01:43:28.000 No, it's not Dennis Prager.

01:43:30.000 Can we bring up the YouTube screen?

01:43:32.000 All right, we have access to the Twitter, I mean.

01:43:35.000 We have the Twitter screen?

01:43:36.000 All right, let's bring it up.

01:43:37.000 What do we see? 1.00

01:43:37.000 We have the Black Ryan Gosling says, you are the shit. 1.00

01:43:41.000 I don't know how I feel about that, but thank you. 1.00

01:43:43.000 That was pure, that was freaking epic.

01:43:44.000 Clint Howard is in an LWC movie.

01:43:47.000 Well, we couldn't do it without Clint Howard.

01:43:49.000 Who is a narrator on a YouTube Carol?

01:43:50.000 Okay, listen, where are the t-shirts?

01:43:54.000 We have some t-shirts.

01:43:55.000 We're going to do some giveaways.

01:43:56.000 So this is going to be a giveaway here.

01:43:59.000 To who guesses, where is it?

01:44:01.000 Where'd the shirts go?

01:44:02.000 Someone stole them.

01:44:03.000 Someone stole our t-shirts.

01:44:04.000 We had a bunch of new t-shirts here somewhere.

01:44:06.000 Alright.

01:44:08.000 Free t-shirt to the first person who guesses who is the narrator in a YouTube Carol.

01:44:15.000 Oh, there we go.

01:44:16.000 Well, it just hit the light.

01:44:18.000 Free t-shirt.

01:44:19.000 Sven, keep it going.

01:44:21.000 Free t-shirt to whoever is narrating a YouTube Carol.

01:44:24.000 And by the way, this is launching today for people who cannot see it.

01:44:27.000 This is the new shirt.

01:44:28.000 It's the collage shirt.

01:44:29.000 I don't know how close we can get on this.

01:44:31.000 Maybe you can bring it up to the camera.

01:44:32.000 I don't know what the zoom capabilities are.

01:44:36.000 It's a new Lotto's Cutter Montage shirt.

01:44:38.000 Who's narrating?

01:44:40.000 Are they talking about the Melbourne attack right now?

01:44:42.000 Is it breaking?

01:44:43.000 That happened this morning.

01:44:44.000 The guy was Afghani, I believe.

01:44:45.000 He was a Muslim.

01:44:45.000 Why are we still talking about this?

01:44:48.000 Who is narrating Free T-Shirt 2?

01:44:52.000 Whoever guesses it, Free T-Shirt 2?

01:44:54.000 It has to be hashtag CrowderCNN livestream.

01:45:00.000 No one.

01:45:02.000 No one has guessed it yet.

01:45:04.000 No one has guessed it yet.

01:45:05.000 Oh, no, wait.

01:45:05.000 Which is amazing.

01:45:06.000 Someone did it.

01:45:06.000 They misspelled it.

01:45:07.000 I'm pretty sure it was in the opening credits.

01:45:11.000 EricDoolittle77.

01:45:15.000 Someone, you know what?

01:45:16.000 I'll have Courtney follow you and get you a t-shirt. 1.00

01:45:19.000 That is EricDoolittle77.

01:45:25.000 Guessed it was Mark Rippetoe.

01:45:27.000 Boom.

01:45:28.000 Got it.

01:45:29.000 Good.

01:45:31.000 What did someone, CNN now?

01:45:34.000 Don't you also love how the Melbourne attack into holiday?

01:45:37.000 So right away, you have the Melbourne attack, which I believe, I'm not entirely, I was reading this morning, they found was a Muslim guy, right?

01:45:44.000 Wasn't he Afghani?

01:45:46.000 Someone let me know, unless I'm incorrect.

01:45:47.000 You can tweet me at us, Crowder, at CrowderCNN livestream.

01:45:49.000 Again, I'm finding out about the news as you are.

01:45:52.000 So you're kind of learning what the process is like as we do this, as we go through news.

01:45:56.000 I'm 99% sure that he was Afghani or he was Muslim.

01:46:02.000 At Sven Computer, is that correct?

01:46:04.000 Uh, yes.

01:46:05.000 Okay, what was the guy's name?

01:46:07.000 Let me look it up.

01:46:08.000 Can you bring that down for just a second for me, sound guy Edward?

01:46:11.000 I'm looking here to see who the attacker was.

01:46:15.000 For the, um, Melbourne attack, okay, two people, blah blah blah, was of Afghan descent, even by... So just there, so this is a good example, just there, CNN reported on a Melbourne attack in Australia.

01:46:27.000 We're just gonna tear them a new sphincter today. 1.00

01:46:31.000 And that's why I have the overlay, because we're not cutting this in post.

01:46:34.000 This is the show that goes in the livestream archive.

01:46:34.000 This is the show.

01:46:36.000 We're not cutting it.

01:46:37.000 As soon as it's done, it's live.

01:46:38.000 So we're not changing a damn thing.

01:46:40.000 So, here's the deal with CNN. 0.77

01:46:42.000 They just reported on a Melbourne attack, right?

01:46:44.000 The Melbourne attack in Australia.

01:46:45.000 What do we have?

01:46:46.000 Afghan person who ran into a crowd of Christmas shoppers.

01:46:50.000 Not only was there no mention of who the attacker was, who they know by their own admission.

01:46:55.000 Sven, computer, bring up the overlay, the CNN.

01:46:57.000 I can't right now because Jared just left.

01:46:57.000 Do you have it?

01:46:59.000 Oh, because Jared just left.

01:47:00.000 Just forget about it.

01:47:00.000 Okay, never mind.

01:47:01.000 Forget about it.

01:47:01.000 So I have it right here from CNN.

01:47:03.000 Sayed Nori, Afghanistan.

01:47:07.000 They just said drug addicted, alcohol, that kind of deal.

01:47:10.000 Maybe just mental illness.

01:47:11.000 You know, let's just assume.

01:47:13.000 So this was, well, I wanted a CNN article, because CNN I have right here, by their own admission, the man was Afghani.

01:47:13.000 There you go.

01:47:19.000 They just did a report.

01:47:20.000 They never mentioned that he was Afghani.

01:47:22.000 They never mentioned Sayed Nori, Afghanistan-y man.

01:47:27.000 And for the cherry on top of the politically correct mass murdering cake, they said holiday shoppers, not Christmas shoppers.

01:47:34.000 So if you watch that story, you just think, oh, there was a car accident at some non-denominational holiday display. 0.96

01:47:41.000 No, these were Christmas shoppers who were taken out by a Muslim terrorist.

01:47:47.000 But that's how they present the story. 0.56

01:47:48.000 All day.

01:47:49.000 All day.

01:47:50.000 Russia, Russia, Russia.

01:47:51.000 9 million tiny Tims dead.

01:47:52.000 For those who haven't watched it, you can rewind.

01:47:54.000 Hashtag CrowderCNN livestream.

01:47:56.000 9 million tiny Tims dead.

01:47:57.000 Trump's going to fire Mueller.

01:47:59.000 Russia, Russia, Russia.

01:48:00.000 Schiff, they have Representative Schiff on, he's been saying he has evidence for 9 months, and now they just report an Afghan- Afghanistani...

01:48:07.000 I've already started sending smoke signals out to ISIS.

01:48:10.000 I want them to find us.

01:48:11.000 his faith, no mention of where he's from, and they use the word holiday instead of Christmas.

01:48:15.000 I don't know that I'm going to make it through 16 hours of this.

01:48:18.000 I don't know that I can do it.

01:48:20.000 I've already started sending smoke signals up to ISIS. 0.56

01:48:23.000 You have?

01:48:24.000 You want them to find us?

01:48:24.000 Yeah.

01:48:25.000 I want them to find us.

01:48:26.000 Well, I don't think people would be very happy.

01:48:29.000 They'd be fine for you and I, but what about Hopper?

01:48:31.000 I think Hopper could take care of himself.

01:48:33.000 I think if we, uh, if we just let them take care of us, Hopper takes care of them, it just kind of breaks even at the end.

01:48:39.000 What are you doing?

01:48:41.000 Oh, you're trying to see, trying to read the tweets?

01:48:41.000 On Twitter.

01:48:43.000 Yep.

01:48:44.000 Anyway.

01:48:46.000 We need car control, everybody.

01:48:50.000 Yeah, number eight.

01:48:51.000 Number eight, Cratter. 1.00

01:48:52.000 Number eight trending for this crap. 0.99

01:48:55.000 But listen, if we're trending, join Mug Club. 0.99

01:48:57.000 lottocratter.com slash mug club.

01:48:59.000 It is $69 for students, veterans.

01:49:01.000 You know what?

01:49:02.000 To me, if you're a student of life, it's Christmas.

01:49:04.000 Everyone's a student right now if you join up.

01:49:06.000 It's true.

01:49:07.000 No, not everyone's a veteran.

01:49:08.000 You actually have to earn that one.

01:49:09.000 But student doesn't mean anything.

01:49:10.000 So if you're a student of life and you really don't want to support us, enter in your student promo code.

01:49:14.000 Homeschool, jujitsu, karate, I don't care.

01:49:17.000 Just for right now because it's Christmas.

01:49:19.000 Every other day of the year we're going to verify and make sure that you're actually a student because that ended up costing us some money.

01:49:24.000 This mug is like, it's like $25 to get to you.

01:49:24.000 A lot of money.

01:49:28.000 I don't know the actual price.

01:49:29.000 Is that much?

01:49:30.000 It's hand etched and hand painted.

01:49:30.000 It's expensive.

01:49:32.000 But we're able to do this.

01:49:33.000 And by the way, we know for a fact that CNN knows that we're doing this right now.

01:49:38.000 I can't tell you how, but they're not happy about it.

01:49:41.000 So if we shut down, it's okay.

01:49:43.000 You know why.

01:49:44.000 It makes it that much funnier because they're just going to archive it and blur it and speed it up.

01:49:50.000 You ever watch those movies?

01:49:52.000 We watched, uh, I watched pretty much the entirety of Muppets Christmas Carol on YouTube.

01:49:57.000 It's just faster.

01:49:57.000 Twice the speed.

01:49:58.000 Faster with, like, barry lines on it.

01:50:00.000 And they cheat the system.

01:50:01.000 Yeah, but it's not, it's not really fun to watch.

01:50:03.000 It's not enjoyable at all.

01:50:04.000 It's not enjoyable at all.

01:50:06.000 No.

01:50:07.000 Why didn't Australia have car control?

01:50:08.000 Car control?

01:50:09.000 Well, they could have stopped the attack.

01:50:12.000 Universal background checks before you buy a Kia.

01:50:16.000 It's actually, you know, here's funny.

01:50:17.000 You know why it's a horrible joke?

01:50:17.000 That's a horrible joke.

01:50:18.000 Because there is more gun control than there is on cars.

01:50:23.000 Wait, hold on a second.

01:50:24.000 Was that a double reversal?

01:50:25.000 No, that makes sense.

01:50:26.000 Yeah, people don't realize it is harder to get a gun than a car, significantly, and you can do, anyone can do much more damage with a car accidentally.

01:50:36.000 An accidental misfire with a gun, you kill one person, usually yourself.

01:50:39.000 At best. 0.51

01:50:40.000 That's a very small target.

01:50:41.000 An accident with a car?

01:50:42.000 Let's assume CNN has their way.

01:50:43.000 Let's assume this guy is named Todd and he's a part of the local Presbyterian chapter.

01:50:48.000 Okay, let's assume he's the head of the local Rotary Club and this was an accident.

01:50:52.000 That it wasn't an Afghani named Saeed Noori committing an act of terror against Christmas shoppers.

01:50:59.000 So let's assume it's an accident.

01:51:02.000 It still would kill way more people than any kind of firearm accident.

01:51:05.000 Oh, yeah.

01:51:06.000 I mean, think about, like... It's not even close.

01:51:08.000 You just, you fall asleep and you kill more people than if you're fooling around like a moron, putting a gun up, going, it's not loaded, boom, boom, boom. 1.00

01:51:15.000 Like, picture the worst case scenario of someone messing up with a firearm. 1.00

01:51:20.000 Which is kind of natural selection at that point.

01:51:22.000 It's not anywhere close to the damage that can be done with a car.

01:51:24.000 Makes you think you should have to lock your keys up in a safe, within a safe.

01:51:28.000 Safe within a safe.

01:51:29.000 And then unplug your ignition switch at night.

01:51:31.000 With a separate key ring.

01:51:32.000 With a separate key ring.

01:51:34.000 What if it's just a F.O.B.?

01:51:36.000 F.O.B.

01:51:36.000 for, it's a push button thing.

01:51:37.000 Are those called F.O.B.s?

01:51:39.000 It's a key fob.

01:51:40.000 What does that stand for something?

01:51:40.000 What is a fob?

01:51:42.000 It's FOB or FAB?

01:51:43.000 Is it FOB or FAB?

01:51:44.000 This is one of those things I don't know and I feel it's FOB.

01:51:46.000 What is it?

01:51:47.000 What does that stand for?

01:51:48.000 Sven can look it up.

01:51:49.000 Sven computer can look it up.

01:51:50.000 I have no idea what a key fob means.

01:51:53.000 I say it all the time though.

01:51:54.000 Do you say it?

01:51:57.000 I say it all the time because we use key fobs all the time.

01:52:00.000 We use them in our offices for certain areas and we use... What is a fob?

01:52:03.000 You can bring up Google Images if you want.

01:52:07.000 Learn your role, computer.

01:52:12.000 That's not it.

01:52:13.000 Send me a tweet at KeyFob.

01:52:16.000 Thank you.

01:52:17.000 What does that mean?

01:52:19.000 We use it all the time.

01:52:21.000 I don't really know what it means.

01:52:24.000 KeyFob is also a word used to describe a keychain and several other similar items and devices.

01:52:30.000 The word fob is believed to have originated from watch fobs, which existed as early as 1888.

01:52:34.000 He plays 1888.

01:52:35.000 That's a lot of eights.

01:52:36.000 Yeah.

01:52:36.000 Really?

01:52:37.000 What else do you want to know?

01:52:41.000 Brittany Millsap says she's impressed by the production value of the YouTube Carol.

01:52:44.000 Well, yeah, we put a lot into it.

01:52:46.000 Someone is asking if he gets a discount because he's a Brazilian jiu-jitsu student.

01:52:54.000 Today, yes.

01:52:56.000 Today, yes.

01:52:57.000 If you're a student of life... I think you have to manufacture an EDU address, though, for it to work, right?

01:53:03.000 We do every other day, but today we'll go with yes.

01:53:06.000 Today we'll just say we'll be very lenient on the student today if you join Mug Club, because if you don't, it just means you want more CNN. 0.82

01:53:13.000 Here's the truth.

01:53:14.000 I'm not going to press you, but if you don't join Mug Club, there is no one else. 0.82

01:53:18.000 There's no one else coming down the pike. 0.98

01:53:20.000 If you're hoping for someone to fight back on Colbert, there's no one else.

01:53:24.000 There's no one else trying.

01:53:26.000 People enjoy doing their vlogs on YouTube, but we've talked to them.

01:53:29.000 We've tried to hire people.

01:53:30.000 They're not going to try and do this. 0.66

01:53:33.000 I want to crucify CNN.

01:53:36.000 I want to make love to Wolf Blitzer in a way that he's not sure how he feels about. 0.95

01:53:41.000 Like, afterwards he's gonna pull Elena Dunham.

01:53:43.000 Was that consensual?

01:53:44.000 Was it non-consensual?

01:53:45.000 I'm going to let you in on a secret.

01:53:47.000 It was not consensual.

01:53:48.000 That's how brutal this is going to be.

01:53:50.000 You thought the election night was bad?

01:53:52.000 Wait till we get to primetime.

01:53:53.000 Wait till we get to Don Lemon, Anderson Cooper, Wolf Blitzer.

01:53:56.000 We're going to carve them up like a Christmas turkey.

01:54:00.000 This is CNN Newsroom.

01:54:01.000 I might even spank my Christmas ham for you. 0.53

01:54:04.000 There's no host really attached to this.

01:54:06.000 Is there a host?

01:54:07.000 There's no host, it just says CNN Newsroom.

01:54:09.000 We have a schedule here at CNN.

01:54:11.000 None of us knew.

01:54:11.000 It's fluid.

01:54:12.000 Okay, what do we have?

01:54:13.000 Newsroom at this hour with Kate Boulon.

01:54:15.000 Boulon.

01:54:16.000 Oh, John King, he got bumped down to 11.

01:54:20.000 Oh god, a wolf at noon.

01:54:22.000 Jake Tapper.

01:54:23.000 Remember when Jake Tapper was respected?

01:54:25.000 Everyone thought Jake Tapper.

01:54:26.000 They were like, oh no, Jake Tapper's really balanced.

01:54:27.000 He got really pissed at you, like on Twitter.

01:54:29.000 He got pissed at me at one point for something, I think Courtney wrote something on ladderwithcrowder.com.

01:54:35.000 On the website, and we were absolutely correct.

01:54:37.000 Yeah.

01:54:38.000 But he didn't like it.

01:54:39.000 He said, like, well, you presented me, I went back, and then afterwards, because I was like, no, we presented you entirely accurately.

01:54:44.000 It's a loaded reaction to facts.

01:54:45.000 Yeah.

01:54:47.000 I also ate Apple.

01:54:47.000 He was upset.

01:54:49.000 Apparently, it's turning now that they admit they deliberately slow down old phones.

01:54:53.000 That doesn't surprise me.

01:54:55.000 By the way, that has nothing to do with net neutrality.

01:54:58.000 That's the thing, people don't realize.

01:54:58.000 No, not at all.

01:54:59.000 Apple supported net neutrality.

01:55:01.000 So I just find this so funny.

01:55:03.000 Can someone research?

01:55:03.000 Let's bring that up.

01:55:05.000 Research Team Assemble.

01:55:06.000 I'm pretty sure Apple or Tim Cook supported net neutrality, if I'm not mistaken.

01:55:11.000 Someone bring it up, please.

01:55:12.000 Let me know.

01:55:14.000 Let me check here and bring it up.

01:55:16.000 I'm pretty sure, I know Facebook and Google and YouTube did, and of course, that's the big lie, right?

01:55:20.000 People talk about net neutrality, and they're like, why don't you support it?

01:55:23.000 Well, these big companies support it because they don't need ISPs.

01:55:26.000 They use different data entry points.

01:55:28.000 They're not reliant on ISPs the way that the small guys are.

01:55:31.000 Of course they support it.

01:55:32.000 You do have to ask yourself, if Facebook, YouTube, and Twitter, and Google all support net neutrality, why?

01:55:40.000 Right?

01:55:41.000 Do we have it, Sven Computer?

01:55:42.000 Tim Cook, net neutrality?

01:55:43.000 Not quite.

01:55:44.000 Not yet.

01:55:45.000 Okay, I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure they were one of the big companies that were very actively supporting net neutrality.

01:55:49.000 The point is, net neutrality hasn't stopped Apple. 0.99

01:55:53.000 They still suck. 0.99

01:55:54.000 You have it? 0.99

01:55:55.000 Do we have it, Sven Computer?

01:55:56.000 Yeah, we have... Alright, let's see.

01:55:58.000 Let's see what we have.

01:56:01.000 Apple is telling the FCC to protect net neutrality and don't let us down.

01:56:06.000 This is what's funny to me!

01:56:06.000 There you go!

01:56:08.000 Philip DeFranco and all these people out there.

01:56:10.000 I like Philip DeFranco saying, H3, H3, we need this, it's big greedy Republicans and they want in.

01:56:17.000 Tim Cook, Apple, can you think of anyone bigger than Apple?

01:56:20.000 They wanted the FCC to protect net neutrality.

01:56:24.000 And they are now throttling your phones!

01:56:26.000 Your old phones.

01:56:27.000 Not throttling, let's say, okay, you know what, you need to pay a little bit more because you're using 4K.

01:56:33.000 Like right now, if they were to say, you know what, you need to pay a little more because A, you're screwing CNN, they're another partner of ours with YouTube.

01:56:39.000 Understandable.

01:56:40.000 And if they said, B, you're streaming HD, this takes up more... We're not even talking about that.

01:56:46.000 Apple is just slowing down your old phones because they want you to buy new phones.

01:56:51.000 These people supported net neutrality.

01:56:53.000 So let me ask you, do you think Apple supported net neutrality because they were altruistic?

01:56:57.000 For the same reasons you think Google and Facebook and Twitter support net neutrality because they're altruistic?

01:57:01.000 No!

01:57:02.000 FCC to FTC.

01:57:04.000 FCC to FTC.

01:57:05.000 We can actually have transparency laws.

01:57:07.000 We can actually enforce antitrust laws if net neutrality, you know, the net neutrality which I believe is repealed.

01:57:12.000 I'm not entirely sure the regulations that were pulled back yet.

01:57:15.000 By the way, net neutrality, as you know, it only came in in 2015.

01:57:17.000 This idea that it's always been net neutrality, it just started in 2015.

01:57:19.000 It's a new thing. 1.00

01:57:20.000 People are idiots. 1.00

01:57:22.000 There have always been anti-trust laws. 1.00

01:57:25.000 Obama was one.

01:57:26.000 And 2015 wanted to recognize them as telecommunications companies.

01:57:30.000 Essentially is net neutrality as we understand it.

01:57:32.000 Essentially is that.

01:57:33.000 It was a change in 2015.

01:57:34.000 I'm just asking, Apple supported net neutrality.

01:57:39.000 Why?

01:57:39.000 Well, they're throttling your phones.

01:57:41.000 Yeah, 32,000 Tiny Tims died.

01:57:43.000 Facebook supports net neutrality.

01:57:45.000 We know they censor conservative content.

01:57:48.000 YouTube supports net neutrality.

01:57:50.000 We know they throttle content.

01:57:52.000 So they don't have a problem with an unfair playing field.

01:57:54.000 They have a problem with a fair playing field that allows a small guy to compete with them.

01:58:00.000 Apple.

01:58:02.000 Oh my, I just, I don't know how anyone else is not more, do you not see this?

01:58:04.000 Does anyone else not see the irony in Tim Cook and Apple supporting net neutrality and slowing down old phones?

01:58:09.000 Is it just me?

01:58:10.000 Am I the only one?

01:58:11.000 That's like some Christmas gift-level irony.

01:58:15.000 This is basically a prop at this point, by the way.

01:58:16.000 I should get a beverage in my vessel.

01:58:18.000 You need some beverage?

01:58:19.000 Go get a beverage.

01:58:20.000 No, there are no drugs here.

01:58:22.000 Their drugs are in the pantry.

01:58:24.000 There are drugs!

01:58:26.000 There are drugs.

01:58:31.000 Cassie!

01:58:33.000 What are you looking for?

01:58:36.000 No, run the coffee maker.

01:58:37.000 Nobody cares.

01:58:38.000 No, run the coffee maker.

01:58:39.000 Nobody cares.

01:58:40.000 All right.

01:58:43.000 Is she talking about sexual abuse?

01:58:49.000 There's been an ongoing saga over what happened, the abuse, the horror that happened to so many of these girls on this team.

01:58:55.000 Actually, you know, we've had on the show one of the best female athletes out there, Kayla Harrison. 1.00

01:58:58.000 She's two-time Olympic gold medalist judo.

01:59:01.000 This belt on here is like the least flattering thing.

01:59:04.000 I don't know how much... Can I... Can I... You know what?

01:59:05.000 Can I just do... Can I do appendix?

01:59:08.000 Oh, sure.

01:59:08.000 Carry?

01:59:10.000 Look at that.

01:59:10.000 There you go.

01:59:11.000 It's actually preferable for probably our audience watching.

01:59:14.000 These onesies are not flattering for the crotchal region. 0.51

01:59:16.000 That's true.

01:59:17.000 Look.

01:59:17.000 All right, there we go.

01:59:18.000 Look at this.

01:59:19.000 It's not a chastity belt.

01:59:21.000 It's our sponsor, Walther.

01:59:23.000 Pow, pow.

01:59:23.000 Look at that.

01:59:24.000 Pow, pow, pow, pow, pow, pow, pow, pow.

01:59:28.000 Hope you're getting your money's worth, Walther.

01:59:33.000 That's about as effective as paraplegic Terminator.

01:59:36.000 Actually, you know what?

01:59:37.000 I've never appendix carried.

01:59:38.000 It's actually pretty comfortable.

01:59:39.000 Actually, it's not bad. 0.99

01:59:40.000 You think it just digs into your crotch all day? 0.99

01:59:42.000 No, it's really not that bad. 0.99

01:59:44.000 Surprises me.

01:59:45.000 Also not that bad.

01:59:47.000 New shirts, loudofthecrowdershop.com.

01:59:50.000 So, okay, we're talking about sexual harassment.

01:59:52.000 Kayla Harrison we had on, actually before you were on, before you worked at the show.

01:59:55.000 I remember listening to that one when I was driving a salt truck at like 2 a.m.

01:59:58.000 She's a judo gold medalist.

02:00:00.000 Last time at the Olympics, was it Rio?

02:00:02.000 Yeah, she submitted every single opponent.

02:00:04.000 Like you want to talk about super athlete, this woman is as good as it gets. 1.00

02:00:08.000 And she was sexually abused by her coach.

02:00:11.000 She came on, she had a testimony about it when she was very young. 0.91

02:00:13.000 Like actually sexually abused by her coach repeatedly.

02:00:17.000 Came forward I think she was 14 at the time came forward and they moved to Boston to work with Jimmy Pedro And she went on to win two gold medals So she has an unbelievable story and when you would talk with her you wouldn't you wouldn't know it.

02:00:30.000 She's unbelievably positive This kind of stuff really, really bothers me.

02:00:36.000 The sexual abuse of people below you.

02:00:38.000 That's why it always bothered me with Roger Ailes.

02:00:41.000 Look at Nikki Haley. 0.80

02:00:42.000 Nikki Haley is fine, fine, fine.

02:00:42.000 She's fine!

02:00:44.000 Nikki Haley is fine, fine, fine.

02:00:49.000 Well, listen, I'm not saying she's going to be walking the runway.

02:00:55.000 What I'm saying is, compared to the gaggle of Pelosi's and Elizabeth Warren's and Hillary Clinton's and Debbie Wasserman Schultz's, Nikki Haley is a refreshing change of face.

02:01:04.000 And have you ever seen her at the UN tear them a new one?

02:01:06.000 It's like when you see the Cleveland Browns are on your schedule.

02:01:09.000 It's like, ah, that's a week off.

02:01:10.000 The competition isn't great.

02:01:10.000 That's a bye week.

02:01:12.000 Yeah.

02:01:13.000 I still think she's a pretty lady. 1.00

02:01:15.000 And she dresses well.

02:01:16.000 She presents herself well.

02:01:17.000 Tweet me at S. Crowder.

02:01:17.000 I'll give her that.

02:01:19.000 Hashtag CrowderCNNLivestream.

02:01:20.000 We've got to use a hashtag.

02:01:21.000 Keep it going.

02:01:23.000 We want to be in their craw all day.

02:01:25.000 We want to be the thorn.

02:01:26.000 We're dipping the nine. 0.96

02:01:27.000 We want to be a thorn in CNN's side all freaking day. 0.99

02:01:31.000 Right now, Jeff Zucker over there is going, this asshole on YouTube, is he allowed to do this? 1.00

02:01:39.000 Yes, we are. 0.99

02:01:40.000 This is fair use because it's transformative enough.

02:01:43.000 Just like, you know what?

02:01:45.000 CNN, come at us, bro, because Shia LaBeouf tried to sue us over the years. 0.92

02:01:49.000 Have you heard of Bill Richmond?

02:01:49.000 Shut them down!

02:01:51.000 Have you heard of half-Asian lawyer Bill Richmond?

02:01:53.000 You don't want that.

02:01:55.000 You don't want that kind of heat.

02:01:57.000 Shia LaBeouf.

02:01:58.000 Shia LaBeouf, Ronco, Turner.

02:02:00.000 They're firm.

02:02:01.000 I guess they made up a firm with their three names and they didn't have a lawyer.

02:02:04.000 Threatened to sue us over hijacking.

02:02:06.000 He will not divide us.

02:02:07.000 Guess what?

02:02:09.000 We're still here.

02:02:10.000 So CNN, please come at us.

02:02:12.000 Please do.

02:02:14.000 Hashtag CrowderCNNLivestream when you sue us.

02:02:14.000 Just use the hashtag.

02:02:17.000 What are you looking at?

02:02:17.000 We're grateful.

02:02:19.000 You pointing at the schedule?

02:02:21.000 Yes.

02:02:22.000 Beep beep.

02:02:23.000 Beep beep.

02:02:23.000 Boop.

02:02:23.000 We have a guest coming up soon.

02:02:24.000 That's true.

02:02:25.000 Who do we have next?

02:02:26.000 That's on 945.

02:02:26.000 We have Gavin McInnes at 945.

02:02:28.000 No, no, no.

02:02:29.000 We have James O'Keefe.

02:02:30.000 He was actually scratched there.

02:02:32.000 He's been moved to later on.

02:02:33.000 Oh, OK, OK, good, good, good.

02:02:34.000 So we don't have a guest until 945.

02:02:35.000 All right, good.

02:02:36.000 So hold on a second.

02:02:37.000 This doctor thing.

02:02:40.000 Oh lord, another hour of seeing a news report.

02:02:43.000 Ugh.

02:02:43.000 The doctor was named Nassar, who was doing all these adjustments on these little girls.

02:02:48.000 And he was, you know, using his fingers and stuff.

02:02:50.000 Nassar.

02:02:51.000 Doesn't sound like a Presbyterian.

02:02:52.000 Do we know anything about Nassar?

02:02:54.000 I hate to say it.

02:02:54.000 Nassar?

02:02:56.000 Hey, by the way, sound guy Edward, did we empty the grounds in that coffee machine and everything?

02:03:00.000 This morning?

02:03:01.000 Cause it was filled, it won't work if that's the case.

02:03:03.000 Just toss them in the trash if you can, Jared.

02:03:05.000 We got them?

02:03:06.000 Yeah, the ground, we have a coffee machine where if it fills up with grounds, it just goes haywire and it lets you know that it cannot, cannot make any more coffee.

02:03:16.000 Um, all right.

02:03:18.000 Hold on a second.

02:03:19.000 All right, we're at a commercial break here.

02:03:21.000 So I don't know what these commercials are.

02:03:23.000 Oh, Anthony Bourdain. 1.00

02:03:24.000 That guy's a dick. 0.99

02:03:25.000 That guy, you know, there's a good example of a guy who I really liked until he came out as so far left, which is why I was so happy when it turned out to be Mario Batali, who I wasn't happy that he sexually harassed anybody. 0.99

02:03:35.000 I was happy that there was no rape involved.

02:03:37.000 But I was sitting there, I was like, please don't be Gordon Ramsay.

02:03:39.000 Just be someone like Mario Batali.

02:03:41.000 And then that's what it was.

02:03:43.000 It was Mario Batali.

02:03:44.000 So let's, let's, let's reek.

02:03:47.000 It's a Christmas miracle, especially with 9 million tiny Tims dying because of Trump, not funding ship.

02:03:51.000 We have Hodge twins coming in very soon.

02:03:53.000 Oh, okay.

02:03:53.000 That's, that's cool.

02:03:54.000 We have Hodge twins coming in very soon.

02:03:55.000 Um, why is no one talking about Uranium One on CNN?

02:03:59.000 Have you noticed that?

02:04:00.000 We are two hours in.

02:04:01.000 Nothing.

02:04:05.000 Nothing on Uranium One.

02:04:06.000 I haven't seen it.

02:04:07.000 No.

02:04:07.000 Has anyone seen it?

02:04:08.000 You can tweet me.

02:04:09.000 I'm checking every now and then for tweets.

02:04:10.000 I don't think he even made it to the lower tier.

02:04:12.000 I don't even think they've mentioned the reference.

02:04:13.000 Ooh, Robin Mead.

02:04:14.000 No.

02:04:15.000 Too much work.

02:04:15.000 No, no.

02:04:16.000 She's starting to look like the drummer muppet. 0.91

02:04:18.000 Ooh. 0.55

02:04:19.000 Janet.

02:04:20.000 Janice.

02:04:21.000 You guys, I totally host a new show.

02:04:23.000 Okay.

02:04:30.000 I don't understand why there's nothing with Uranium One yet.

02:04:34.000 Wait, is that Andy?

02:04:36.000 Is that Andy Levy on CNN?

02:04:37.000 Well, it makes sense, they shut down Red Eye.

02:04:42.000 Can someone let me know, it has craters, Andy Levy appearing on CNN now?

02:04:45.000 He used to be the ombudsman for Red Eye, and then when they unceremoniously fired Bill Schultz, he became like the co-host, and then he was the co-host for, after Greg Gutfeld left, and then, oh, hey, Hopper!

02:04:59.000 Look!

02:05:00.000 Hopper, come here!

02:05:01.000 Bring your carrot! 0.95

02:05:03.000 Ugh.

02:05:04.000 Alright, hold on a second.

02:05:05.000 Let's just do this for a while.

02:05:08.000 Hey Hopper, one second.

02:05:09.000 Let's do this for a little bit.

02:05:11.000 Hopper just came in, but this is true.

02:05:14.000 For people who don't know this, Hopper is so, oh, sorry, I just hit the microphone.

02:05:18.000 Hopper is so gentle-mouthed that he actually brought in this carrot and he won't eat it because he won't break the skin.

02:05:24.000 Same thing if it's a full pickle.

02:05:25.000 Look, he loves, look, he's looking at me.

02:05:27.000 He's waiting for me to break it.

02:05:28.000 Watch.

02:05:28.000 He carried this in.

02:05:30.000 He wouldn't eat it.

02:05:31.000 But if I do this, want the carrot piece?

02:05:34.000 Well, he just dropped it.

02:05:36.000 He just dropped it, Hopper.

02:05:37.000 There you go.

02:05:38.000 Okay.

02:05:39.000 Look at this dog.

02:05:44.000 He's so gentle now.

02:05:46.000 Now look, if I get, so look, I'll give him, I'll show you exactly the kind of problems you run into with Hopper.

02:05:49.000 Here's a piece, right?

02:05:50.000 Oh, slippery.

02:05:52.000 Hopper's gonna eat that carrot. 0.99

02:05:54.000 Okay?

02:05:55.000 Now watch, if I give him the full carrot... Look!

02:06:01.000 Won't eat it!

02:06:03.000 It's a full carrot!

02:06:05.000 He won't take the full carrot!

02:06:06.000 I have to break it into pieces, because then he gets the aroma and he can taste that it's food.

02:06:11.000 He actually won't... He won't crack it with his teeth.

02:06:14.000 Same thing, if I put my fingers around it, he has to eat around this. 1.00

02:06:17.000 You're a great dog, but I really do hope you'd maul the hell out of a Muslim terrorist. 1.00

02:06:22.000 Please tell me you would. 1.00

02:06:24.000 You're a white dog, you have to live up to your name. 0.99

02:06:28.000 Is there a little white supremacy in you? 0.99

02:06:29.000 Is there a little bit of, uh... Is there a little bit of, uh, anti-Rottweiler in you?

02:06:35.000 I don't know, but I saw him driving around in Jod's Charger the other day.

02:06:38.000 Remember that Rottweiler he hated when we were in Michigan?

02:06:41.000 Oh, I hated that dog. 0.52

02:06:43.000 Hopper, there you go.

02:06:44.000 Carrot piece.

02:06:45.000 See, now you're getting to the big part of the carrot.

02:06:47.000 So it was like spy versus spy.

02:06:49.000 It was like a bridging of the racial divide.

02:06:50.000 He hated this Rottweiler. 0.97

02:06:52.000 He's all white. 0.99

02:06:52.000 So we joked about him being a white supremacist dog. 0.99

02:06:55.000 And then eventually he ended up liking this Rottweiler over a carrot.

02:07:00.000 Hopper, I can't keep breaking the carrot for you.

02:07:02.000 Look, it's too big.

02:07:03.000 I can't break it in half anymore.

02:07:05.000 You can eat this carrot.

02:07:07.000 I've seen you eat... Okay, let's see.

02:07:08.000 What are they talking about?

02:07:09.000 Current stopgap spending.

02:07:10.000 Hopper, I gotta let you go, buddy.

02:07:12.000 ...eventually, at some point today, they will be able to get there.

02:07:15.000 Here's the chair of the House Freedom Caucus, Mark Meadows, with some... Hopper, I'm gonna put this in your bed.

02:07:22.000 We're hopeful that we vote later today.

02:07:24.000 That has not been scheduled.

02:07:25.000 Honestly, there's a little bit more work to do, but I believe at the latest tomorrow morning.

02:07:31.000 And so hopefully we're breaking news right here with you, Allison, but that's a decision that we'll get through by our leadership.

02:07:39.000 I don't know who she is.

02:07:39.000 She's cute.

02:07:40.000 She's cute. 0.95

02:07:42.000 I don't know who she is.

02:07:43.000 CNN's taking some cues from Fox News.

02:07:47.000 They privately admit that they simply do not have an appetite to force a government shutdown by midnight tomorrow night.

02:07:53.000 They don't want this to end, this stalemate to end that way, particularly because it's a big week for them on tax reform.

02:07:59.000 So certainly a desire to avoid that confrontation, although there is, at this hour, no clear path forward yet.

02:08:07.000 By the way, for the record, Hopper is not a white supremacist. 0.98

02:08:10.000 He'll bite dogs of all races and colors. 0.99

02:08:12.000 That's true.

02:08:13.000 Actually, I don't know if he can bite.

02:08:13.000 I've seen it happen.

02:08:16.000 I've never seen him bite.

02:08:17.000 That's why I'm worried with a terrorist.

02:08:19.000 He doesn't care for my dog, and she's kind of biracial.

02:08:22.000 It's true.

02:08:22.000 Got the black and white going on.

02:08:24.000 So, equal opportunity.

02:08:26.000 That's right.

02:08:27.000 Australian Shepherd.

02:08:28.000 Your dog's a Border Collie.

02:08:29.000 Just think Australian Shepherd.

02:08:30.000 It's black and white.

02:08:31.000 It's a Border Collie.

02:08:32.000 People usually think she's a Border. 0.87

02:08:34.000 She's a Border. 0.93

02:08:35.000 She's a mix of a Border. 0.69

02:08:35.000 She's not a Border. 0.69

02:08:36.000 That is not an Aussie. 1.00

02:08:37.000 She's way too small for an Aussie. 1.00

02:08:39.000 She's a Mini. 1.00

02:08:40.000 There's no such thing as an Aussie Mini.

02:08:43.000 I don't think that's an AKC.

02:08:44.000 Let's fact-check this.

02:08:45.000 I'm 99% sure that Australian Shepard Minnie is not an AKC-recognized breed.

02:08:49.000 You're probably wrong.

02:08:50.000 Spanky Peter, are you on that?

02:08:52.000 No, it's okay, don't worry about it.

02:08:54.000 You're on that from the Security Council vote on this.

02:08:54.000 Thank you, Peter.

02:08:57.000 No, it's OK.

02:08:58.000 Don't worry about it.

02:08:59.000 Yeah, because you're wrong.

02:09:00.000 All right.

02:09:01.000 You went on.

02:09:01.000 You looked it up.

02:09:03.000 You went on Trump's Jerusalem decision.

02:09:04.000 At what point do we say that we don't care what the U.N.

02:09:09.000 has to say?

02:09:11.000 Not soon enough.

02:09:13.000 At what point do we just say, like, ah... Like, well, we're not going to recognize it as a capital.

02:09:18.000 Yeah, but we are.

02:09:20.000 We're not happy about this.

02:09:21.000 Okay.

02:09:22.000 What is there to vote on, though?

02:09:23.000 I don't understand what there is to vote on.

02:09:24.000 Is it for it to be... I think the vote is for it to be internationally recognized as the...

02:09:32.000 The capital of Israel.

02:09:34.000 It's the capital of Israel.

02:09:35.000 We're not talking about... It is the capital of Israel.

02:09:37.000 We're not talking about, you know, agreeing that... No, it is the capital... Well, because obviously, obviously, Palestinians, Hamas, who have the destruction of Jews in their charter, they claim Jerusalem. 0.70

02:09:47.000 As a matter of fact, Reg, put the Jerusalem stuff in the current document, if you're watching, so that we can... Because there have been so many empires...

02:09:57.000 So many rulers in that area who never recognized Jerusalem as their capital.

02:10:03.000 Not the Ottomans. 0.91

02:10:06.000 Gosh, I'd have to bring this in here.

02:10:09.000 I think I have it in the research document here.

02:10:12.000 I remember we did this not that long ago.

02:10:16.000 Alright, here, one second.

02:10:17.000 Alright, is that you?

02:10:19.000 What are you talking about?

02:10:23.000 Yes, all the caliphates.

02:10:24.000 How many were there?

02:10:25.000 I'm trying to remember here.

02:10:26.000 And they never had Jerusalem as their capital.

02:10:30.000 Alright, hold on a second.

02:10:32.000 What do we have?

02:10:32.000 I got it here.

02:10:33.000 Okay.

02:10:34.000 Alright.

02:10:35.000 The Umayyad Caliphate. 0.67

02:10:37.000 Capital was Damascus.

02:10:40.000 The Abbasid Caliphate. 0.56

02:10:41.000 Capital was Baghdad.

02:10:42.000 The Fatimid Caliphate. 0.89

02:10:44.000 Ottoman Empire.

02:10:44.000 Capital was Cairo.

02:10:45.000 Capital was Constantinople.

02:10:47.000 This idea that Jerusalem has ever been the capital of any Muslim empire is so totally, verifiably false.

02:10:54.000 It's never been the case. 0.91

02:10:55.000 They're only doing it now because they hate the Jews.

02:10:58.000 Okay? 0.51

02:11:00.000 When they had it, they didn't care.

02:11:02.000 Why?

02:11:03.000 Because Jerusalem is mentioned over 600 times by name in the Old Testament.

02:11:08.000 I think it's maybe 400 times by name, 600 times through the term Zion.

02:11:12.000 And it's never mentioned in the Quran, only in Hadith, and it's when Muhammad had his LSD trip that they refer to as a dream where he ascended to heaven.

02:11:22.000 And here's the thing, I know people are saying, well, how do you know that he didn't ascend to heaven?

02:11:25.000 And that's that, you know, because he's in hell.

02:11:27.000 Muhammad's in hell. 1.00

02:11:30.000 He's looking on up on us with pride this morning.

02:11:33.000 People say, well, how do you know Muhammad's in hell?

02:11:33.000 Yeah.

02:11:36.000 Okay.

02:11:36.000 Let me ask you this.

02:11:37.000 You don't believe in Jesus.

02:11:38.000 Let's start with this.

02:11:38.000 Okay.

02:11:39.000 Yeah.

02:11:39.000 I'm a Christian.

02:11:40.000 You don't believe in the Christian. 1.00

02:11:41.000 Look, I've got nothing but carrots by my feet, Hopper.

02:11:47.000 Look at this.

02:11:48.000 I got carrot all over my feet because of my dog.

02:11:51.000 Let's assume you don't believe in Jesus.

02:11:53.000 Let's assume you don't believe in the biblical version.

02:11:55.000 Let's assume you're not Jewish. 1.00

02:11:56.000 Okay, fine.

02:11:56.000 Let's assume that you're not a complete atheist, okay?

02:12:00.000 So you're not a complete atheist, but you don't believe in the Judeo-Christian God, but you think, okay, afterlife, good things for good people, bad things for bad people.

02:12:08.000 All right, let's get rid of the Christian component. 1.00

02:12:10.000 A mass murdering, raping, beating his six-year-old wife, calling for the deaths of all Christians and Jews is his last words, warlord. 1.00

02:12:21.000 You think that's heaven or hell? 1.00

02:12:23.000 If we're just going based on actions, remove the salvation component, just good angel, bad angel, you really don't think that Muhammad is burning in hell right now?

02:12:33.000 Just from a purely secular standpoint.

02:12:36.000 To you I say nay. 1.00

02:12:38.000 He's definitely at the gates of Hades.

02:12:39.000 Well, not the gates, he's long since entered.

02:12:42.000 He's in the gated community in hell with a padlock. 0.98

02:12:46.000 And the only reason there's a padlock is so that someone can enter in a new code for when they go in to service him.

02:12:52.000 But they're not, they're not servicing, really he's servicing them.

02:12:54.000 Yeah.

02:12:55.000 That's what I think is happening to Muhammad. 1.00

02:12:58.000 For a guy who, who killed and beat his wife and had sex with her when she, well, perhaps when she was nine, likely when she was six. 0.99

02:13:06.000 He only had sex with Aisha's thighs until she was nine. 1.00

02:13:06.000 Muhammad, right? 1.00

02:13:09.000 Yeah, I think that's a guy who's kind of hellbound. 0.82

02:13:11.000 Take paterno and add murder. 0.56

02:13:17.000 Take the Olympic coach and add murder and anti-semitism. 0.96

02:13:21.000 That's Mohammed. 0.97

02:13:22.000 Pretty sure hell.

02:13:23.000 What?

02:13:25.000 Top three trends now on Twitter.

02:13:27.000 Still no word.

02:13:28.000 Uranium one, top three trends, but no one is talking about it.

02:13:30.000 You think this would be the most flexible of all the programs as well?

02:13:33.000 What do you think?

02:13:34.000 You would think so.

02:13:35.000 But they can switch gears the fastest?

02:13:36.000 They just bring in random nobodies and talk about uranium 1?

02:13:39.000 Right now they're talking about... Yeah, hold on.

02:13:39.000 No.

02:13:41.000 Sven Computer has something to bring up.

02:13:43.000 Well, apparently even NBC is reporting on it on their website, so... What was that?

02:13:47.000 Even NBC is reporting on it on that side.

02:13:49.000 It's just CNN apparently that doesn't care about it.

02:13:52.000 I can't hear you.

02:13:52.000 Beep beep.

02:13:53.000 Beep beep.

02:13:56.000 The next time you forget it, you're getting tased.

02:14:01.000 Good lord.

02:14:02.000 Become a character actor.

02:14:03.000 Commit.

02:14:06.000 What's the German equivalent to Daniel Day-Lewis?

02:14:09.000 All right.

02:14:09.000 Exactly.

02:14:11.000 Did I say we have the Hodge twins coming up?

02:14:13.000 We're trying to get them.

02:14:14.000 Okay, soon.

02:14:14.000 How we feel about this issue or that issue.

02:14:17.000 Do you promise to do it?

02:14:18.000 I take it.

02:14:18.000 So we also, so right now they're talking about Dems want to shut down for the hotline.

02:14:24.000 They're blaming it on Trump.

02:14:25.000 I love how it's Dems want to shut down for the holidays.

02:14:28.000 It's Trump colon Dems want to shut down for the holidays.

02:14:30.000 It can't just be Democrats want to shut down.

02:14:33.000 Remember when Republicans were shutting down over a bill from Obama?

02:14:35.000 It's Republicans going to shut down.

02:14:36.000 This is, again, that liberalism by omission.

02:14:39.000 Trump colon Dems want to shut down for the holidays.

02:14:42.000 Well, yeah, Trump said that, but he's basically saying that because the Democrats are huffing and puffing and they're angry over this bill, that there's going to be a shutdown for the holidays.

02:14:50.000 He's placing the blame on Democrats, just as CNN and everyone placed the blame on the Republicans for the shutdown for a long time.

02:14:56.000 But here, they say, Trump, how do we spin this as anti-Trump?

02:15:00.000 Well, the Democrats might cause a shutdown.

02:15:03.000 Trump said the Democrats might cause a shutdown.

02:15:05.000 So let's put Trump colon shutdown.

02:15:08.000 Hopefully people will just Oh, we're back to chip!

02:15:11.000 We're back to chip!

02:15:12.000 child health insurance program at risks.

02:15:14.000 Oh, we're back to Chip.

02:15:16.000 We're back to Chip.

02:15:19.000 How are we back to Chip and we're only two hours in? - Ah. - I feel like Tom Hanks, I feel like Tom Hanks in Punchline, when his dad and his son, His dad and his brother show up to his stand-up, and he's this brilliant stand-up comedian.

02:15:32.000 And then he can't, and he starts crying, and he's talking about how my dad used to hunt, and I was just, and I couldn't, because I didn't want to, I was too scared to, can somebody help me?

02:15:41.000 Somebody help me!

02:15:43.000 He's on stage.

02:15:44.000 That's Tom, I feel like that right now.

02:15:46.000 Can someone please help me?

02:15:48.000 I can't do this for 16 hours. 0.99

02:15:49.000 We're back to saying Trump wants to kill kids. 0.95

02:15:51.000 Earlier, for those who missed it, go back, look through the hashtag, crowd our CNN livestream. 0.98

02:15:56.000 They said 9 million Tiny Tims dead.

02:15:58.000 And that's, we're back to it.

02:15:59.000 No mention of Uranium One.

02:16:01.000 Yeah.

02:16:01.000 Is there a certain amount of irony that today is the winter solstice and it's going to be the longest day of our lives?

02:16:06.000 Yes.

02:16:08.000 If we make it through.

02:16:10.000 Look at her attitude! 1.00

02:16:11.000 What do you mean by 1.5 trillion dollar tax bill?

02:16:21.000 I think what they mean is they've been saying 1.5 trillion added to the debt over 10 years.

02:16:25.000 They added 10 and 8!

02:16:29.000 The wealthiest corporate.

02:16:30.000 Okay, we've already debunked this idea of the tax bill.

02:16:31.000 By the way, we have some amazing things coming up later.

02:16:33.000 Not only guests, not only more YouTube carol.

02:16:36.000 It's five segment, but we have games.

02:16:37.000 We have surprise guests.

02:16:38.000 I don't even know who's going to be on.

02:16:39.000 And I think Nakia Jared has some games set up that I don't want to play, but I'll be forced to play. 0.90

02:16:44.000 I don't know.

02:16:45.000 I don't know what's coming for the 16 hours.

02:16:46.000 But right now I'm all, I was expecting Jared to be here and I'm flying solo all day.

02:16:50.000 So this is much more difficult, precarious than I had anticipated.

02:16:54.000 And she doesn't seem... She's wearing... She's like trying to fake us out like she's wearing a gold medal, that one in the top right quadrant.

02:17:00.000 Like we're gonna think she wins the conversation! 1.00

02:17:00.000 Look at her. 1.00

02:17:05.000 With a gold medal.

02:17:06.000 Alright.

02:17:09.000 Let's go back to CHIP.

02:17:14.000 The House passed legislation that would fund CHIP for five more years, but the Democrats opposed it because they didn't like the way it was going to be funded.

02:17:25.000 Paul Ryan said, we need to get this before we break on holiday.

02:17:29.000 We need to get this before.

02:17:30.000 We need to make sure that this is not defunded.

02:17:34.000 By the way, I'm less compassionate.

02:17:35.000 I think you should pay for your own kids. 0.66

02:17:38.000 Call me crazy.

02:17:41.000 Republicans don't even want to do that.

02:17:43.000 They just want there to be some limitation of spending.

02:17:46.000 CHIP is not one of them.

02:17:47.000 The Child Health Care Initiative is not one of them.

02:17:50.000 They're not defunding it.

02:17:52.000 They haven't tried to. 0.94

02:17:53.000 It's Democrats holding a gun to their head.

02:17:54.000 had no uranium one we'd like the government we pay for to stay up and running gosh i'm gonna need some coffee soon when we go to the next break Do you think those are all green screens?

02:18:05.000 Huh?

02:18:05.000 Do you think those are all green screens?

02:18:08.000 Uh, I don't know if it's all green screens.

02:18:10.000 It's a good question.

02:18:11.000 Fox didn't use a lot of green screens when I was there.

02:18:13.000 HLN did, though.

02:18:15.000 CNN and HLN used more.

02:18:17.000 Okay, YouTube Carol, so we have Gavin McInnes.

02:18:21.000 We're waiting on the Hodge twins and then Gavin McInnes.

02:18:23.000 We're waiting on the Hodge twins.

02:18:24.000 Okay.

02:18:25.000 Yeah.

02:18:25.000 Affirm.

02:18:28.000 to her fiancé at the U.S.-Mexico border, and she speaks with CNN.

02:18:33.000 All right.

02:18:35.000 Hold on a second.

02:18:38.000 I'm trying to look at this.

02:18:39.000 Anyway, we're talking about the tax bill again.

02:18:43.000 You know, they say 1.5 trillion in cuts.

02:18:44.000 What they really mean is people won't have to, you're already paying 39% in corporate tax rates, and that'll be cut.

02:18:50.000 So what are the results?

02:18:52.000 AT&T gave hundreds of thousands of dollars in bonuses.

02:18:55.000 So did Boeing.

02:18:56.000 They're going to be investing and hiring more people.

02:18:57.000 I don't, do you know, to me, even as a kid, right, when you were selfish, for example, let's say you wanted Did you ever have anything when you were a kid that you wanted?

02:19:07.000 And you know what?

02:19:08.000 Give me your story.

02:19:09.000 Maybe a gift that you wanted that you never got or something you really wanted to get as a kid.

02:19:12.000 Hopefully Christmas themed.

02:19:13.000 So, hashtag CrowderCNN livestream.

02:19:15.000 Tweet me or NotGayJared.

02:19:16.000 Something you really wanted and you didn't get.

02:19:18.000 Did you ever have something that you really wanted as a kid and you didn't get because it was too expensive?

02:19:22.000 Yeah, the newer Power Rangers Megatron Zord.

02:19:27.000 You wanted it?

02:19:28.000 Yeah, I did.

02:19:29.000 And you couldn't get it?

02:19:29.000 No.

02:19:30.000 Because it's too expensive?

02:19:31.000 It's too expensive.

02:19:32.000 Then I got it the next year.

02:19:33.000 I think this might be better for you.

02:19:34.000 I got it the next year.

02:19:36.000 But my little brother opened all of it, Aaron the intern, before Christmas.

02:19:40.000 Broke it in the closet.

02:19:40.000 Really?

02:19:41.000 Yeah, it was like three.

02:19:41.000 He opened it?

02:19:43.000 He ruined all my Christmas presents.

02:19:45.000 He broke it?

02:19:46.000 He broke one of them, and then he opened up all of them.

02:19:48.000 My parents had to re-wrap it, and then he opened it again.

02:19:50.000 Okay, but you eventually got it.

02:19:51.000 Eventually got it.

02:19:52.000 Think of something you got, but that was because it was too expensive.

02:19:55.000 Oh, Razor scooters.

02:19:56.000 Oh yeah, those were expensive.

02:19:58.000 We were late to arrive to the Razor scooter thing.

02:20:00.000 All my friends had them and they were like, it's a little bit much right now.

02:20:02.000 Razor scooters.

02:20:02.000 Okay, so use this as an example.

02:20:03.000 For me, I remember it was the N64.

02:20:05.000 I got it later.

02:20:07.000 I didn't get it early on because it was a little too expensive at the time.

02:20:09.000 And in Canada, everything was really expensive.

02:20:11.000 So take a video game here that might have been $49.

02:20:13.000 It was like $69 or $79 in Canada at that point with the exchange rate, right?

02:20:16.000 So really expensive for a kid.

02:20:17.000 That's expensive.

02:20:18.000 Yeah, it was $60, $70 bucks.

02:20:18.000 I remember spending like $70 to get Goldeneye for the N64.

02:20:20.000 $70 Canadian dollars?

02:20:25.000 Yeah, $79 Canadian.

02:20:26.000 $79.99 Canadian.

02:20:27.000 Gosh.

02:20:28.000 So, think of this... Oh, the Hodge twins are frozen.

02:20:31.000 Think of this for a second. 0.96

02:20:33.000 If you were a kid, just a selfish little bastard, would it have been that much of a leap, if you said, like, you can't get the Megazord because it's too expensive, for someone to say, hey, I'm going to give your dad twice the money that he's making now for this job, would you have been able to make the connection that, oh, I'm more likely to get a Megazord? 0.96

02:20:54.000 Yeah, I'd certainly want to think if he didn't have that, I could petition the government to give me the money. 0.97

02:21:00.000 But, like, you understood there was a finite supply of funds, right?

02:21:03.000 And so let's say if someone said, hey, your parents are going to be twice as wealthy.

02:21:07.000 Would you understand that that would directly benefit you?

02:21:09.000 Yes.

02:21:10.000 Yeah, that's what just, I don't understand people, they're corporations, businesses.

02:21:13.000 This is a business.

02:21:15.000 Do you understand that if this business were to make millions of dollars that it would benefit you?

02:21:19.000 Yeah, exactly.

02:21:19.000 Yeah.

02:21:20.000 I don't know why that's a leap.

02:21:22.000 They don't want you to know they're screwing the middle class. 1.00

02:21:25.000 Unless you believe that the government should be the sole employer of the American populace, I don't know how people think it's a logical leap to just understand that if you allow businesses, not even give them, just allow them to keep more of their money, that they'll pay people more.

02:21:42.000 I just don't, I never understand the connection people, liberals, make between, uh, you know, the police state, for instance.

02:21:48.000 That, you know, police brutality is a systemic problem, and the police force can't be trusted.

02:21:53.000 By the way, hold on one second, and hold that thought.

02:21:54.000 Breaking, the man at the border was killed by two illegal immigrants.

02:21:58.000 So that was a mystery from CNN.

02:22:00.000 Sven, we can bring that up.

02:22:00.000 Sven, computer.

02:22:02.000 So we go from Trump-Russia to man with no name kills holiday shoppers.

02:22:08.000 It was a Muslim Afghani who killed Christmas shoppers to mysterious cause of death of man at the border. 0.99

02:22:16.000 No, he was killed by two illegal aliens. 0.59

02:22:18.000 If you watched CNN today, you would have known none of this.

02:22:20.000 No.

02:22:21.000 No.

02:22:23.000 None of it.

02:22:24.000 Their online stuff is not any better.

02:22:24.000 None of it.

02:22:26.000 If you think it's better online, the articles, it's potentially worse.

02:22:26.000 No, it's not.

02:22:30.000 Hashtag CrowderCNNLivestream.

02:22:32.000 Tweet us the worst offenses you see today from CNN.

02:22:34.000 There might be some that we miss as far as biases.

02:22:36.000 There are so many.

02:22:37.000 TrumpRussia is no mention.

02:22:39.000 OK, so what do we have?

02:22:40.000 Let's, you know what, Sven Computer, keep a document here of their most egregious.

02:22:45.000 OK, can you start a separate document, Sven Computer, just so you have it?

02:22:48.000 Okay, hold on one second.

02:22:51.000 Trump-Russia, okay?

02:22:52.000 They had Schiff on, who's been saying he has evidence for nine months.

02:22:56.000 No mention of Uranium One, two and a half hours in, right?

02:23:00.000 No mention of the Afghani, who killed him, just a random person, and they don't use the word Christmas.

02:23:06.000 They've said that there will be nine million tiny Tims dead.

02:23:09.000 So let's keep this as a hit list.

02:23:10.000 Everyone watching, keep a hit list right now.

02:23:12.000 Keep your own list so we can cross-reference.

02:23:14.000 And then they said, mysterious case of death for man at the border.

02:23:16.000 No mention that two illegal immigrants killed him.

02:23:19.000 Two, okay.

02:23:26.000 Two weeks ago, a search warrant that was filed unsealed in New Mexico showed the agents were chasing a tip that two undocumented brothers, suspected drug smugglers, had attacked the agents.

02:23:36.000 Don't know if he was killed by them, but it's silly to say, like, no answers.

02:23:41.000 Mysterious cause of death.

02:23:42.000 We were watching that, we didn't even know.

02:23:44.000 Okay, sorry, go back to what you were saying and then we'll... The fundamental, like, for a leftist is to want to put so much power in the monopoly of the government to control things, yet You know, the police state and other things they throw out there as government can't be trusted, but they will solely trust the government when it comes to providing people for people.

02:23:44.000 Yeah.

02:24:03.000 Yeah.

02:24:04.000 Or the internet.

02:24:06.000 Internet.

02:24:07.000 So the government man, they just want their wars.

02:24:10.000 I want to give them full control over the internet.

02:24:13.000 Yeah.

02:24:14.000 Oh, okay.

02:24:16.000 Trump can't be trusted.

02:24:16.000 You see his Twitter?

02:24:17.000 I think he should have charge of all the Twitters.

02:24:19.000 It's amazing to me where they're mad at Trump for saying, I don't want control of the internet.

02:24:24.000 Just because he wants corporations to.

02:24:26.000 Okay.

02:24:27.000 All right.

02:24:27.000 Do we have that?

02:24:28.000 We have the Hodge twins sound guy, Edward.

02:24:29.000 Is that what I'm hearing?

02:24:30.000 You can already hear I'm losing my voice.

02:24:30.000 Yeah.

02:24:32.000 All right.

02:24:32.000 We have the beggars from, as you saw on YouTube, Carol.

02:24:36.000 Hodge twins, Kevin and Keith Hodge.

02:24:38.000 Are you there, gentlemen?

02:24:39.000 Yeah, we're here.

02:24:41.000 Sound.

02:24:42.000 You guys were really loud there for a second.

02:24:42.000 Oh, geez.

02:24:44.000 Did you just get up or are you early risers?

02:24:47.000 Are you supposed to be disciplined gym goers? 0.91

02:24:55.000 Maybe a meth addict.

02:24:56.000 Yeah, I can see himself on that book.

02:24:58.000 I'm sleeping by about 2.30.

02:24:59.000 Well, the thing is, we're suffering, but we don't have to be bosses.

02:25:04.000 So, you know, we... I ain't got no boss.

02:25:10.000 I ain't got nothing to call it.

02:25:13.000 - The thing is we're seven, but we don't have any bosses.

02:25:16.000 So we process them seven, so if I ain't got no boss, I'm gonna have no boss.

02:25:22.000 That kind of feels me.

02:25:23.000 I make these small labels.

02:25:24.000 I'm just a lazy guy. 0.59

02:25:25.000 No, I'm just a gym rat, baby.

02:25:27.000 - Wow.

02:25:28.000 - Well, you were, you were, when you were here taping a YouTube carol, you were going to do cardio like at 11 at night.

02:25:35.000 That's why I wondered.

02:25:36.000 I was like, oh, it must be a black guy thing to work out at 11 at night. 0.99

02:25:39.000 - I'm just a lazy guy. 0.82

02:25:41.000 No, just a gym right time.

02:25:43.000 - Well, I- - I tape a rat, I'm going.

02:25:47.000 - Well, did you guys see, so you haven't even seen yourselves in a YouTube carol yet?

02:25:52.000 - Yeah, I'm afraid to see it.

02:25:55.000 You know, I will say this, and by the way, we've been watching CNN.

02:25:58.000 Do you want to hear the hit list today so far?

02:26:00.000 Yeah, sure.

02:26:02.000 Okay, so we started off with Trump-Russia mentioning Mueller.

02:26:05.000 They bring on Schiff, who's said he's had evidence against Trump for nine months now.

02:26:09.000 Nothing there.

02:26:09.000 They've never mentioned Uranium One, the Clinton scandal.

02:26:11.000 They said nine million tiny Tims will die because the Republicans want to defund the CHIP program, Child Health Care Initiative, which they don't.

02:26:19.000 They said they have no Suspect.

02:26:22.000 They have no cause for death for a border patrol agent who was killed.

02:26:25.000 And actually, there are two illegal alien drug smugglers who are suspected.

02:26:28.000 They mentioned that an unidentified man in Melbourne ran a car into holiday shoppers.

02:26:34.000 Turns out it was an Afghani man named Sayo Naori, who was Muslim, into Christmas shoppers.

02:26:39.000 What else we got?

02:26:40.000 I don't know.

02:26:41.000 But that's the hit list just thus far.

02:26:42.000 And we're not even two and a half hours in, Keith and Kevin.

02:26:46.000 You know, I was looking at CNN last night at Trump.

02:26:49.000 But that's Kurtz.

02:26:50.000 I have to look at them.

02:26:52.000 No.

02:26:53.000 Because everything they were saying.

02:26:55.000 Totally taking bags.

02:26:57.000 Turning everything around.

02:26:59.000 Saying things it wasn't.

02:27:01.000 I'm getting tax cuts.

02:27:02.000 I'm getting tax cuts.

02:27:04.000 You're both getting tax cuts.

02:27:06.000 Hey, one thing.

02:27:07.000 Are people able to hear them better than I am?

02:27:09.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:27:10.000 Okay, sorry.

02:27:10.000 Because I'm barely hearing you guys.

02:27:10.000 Okay, they can hear.

02:27:12.000 But as long as people watching are... You know, we're trending right now.

02:27:14.000 So do you have anything you want to say to the people who are watching as we trend?

02:27:17.000 Hashtag CrowderCNN livestream.

02:27:20.000 Hashtag fake news.

02:27:22.000 Hashtag I'm only 52% but... Oh really?

02:27:25.000 I'm on purpose, man.

02:27:26.000 Well, you know what?

02:27:27.000 You have to tweet this out with the hashtag.

02:27:29.000 Keep it going.

02:27:30.000 The guests keep it going because CNN is pissed.

02:27:32.000 They're pissed that we're doing this.

02:27:33.000 Oh, really?

02:27:35.000 Yeah, they're not happy about it.

02:27:37.000 That's the purpose, man.

02:27:37.000 Why, were you planning to be in a CNN commentator in the quadrant view next to the guy who looks like the Burger Meister Burger and S.E. Cup?

02:27:50.000 Was that your next career shift?

02:27:52.000 Nah, I think I'm passing that.

02:27:55.000 Well, I mean, it is, like you said, you guys have never been known for being political.

02:27:59.000 I'm not even ascribing anything to you as far as what you believe, but just like you said, you're going to get a tax cut because you're entrepreneurs.

02:28:05.000 You run a business.

02:28:06.000 What are you laughing at?

02:28:07.000 What are you laughing at, Keith?

02:28:08.000 Or is it Kevin?

02:28:09.000 I'm laughing at Keith.

02:28:10.000 Oh.

02:28:11.000 Nice.

02:28:11.000 He's daydreaming.

02:28:12.000 I think he does the job on the left.

02:28:13.000 you were laughing at my uh i thought you're laughing at my appendix carry see i got my got my walther here in a pow see that nice pow pow yeah i know we have to do this it's a true i was waterboarded last year hey you guys were in the military were you ever waterboarded what was that i guess not Well, anyway.

02:28:13.000 Waterboarded?

02:28:39.000 All right.

02:28:40.000 Well, you know, it's unpleasant, but I am totally for it with Tara, so I need to button this up, I realize.

02:28:46.000 It keeps coming undone because this is worse than being waterboarded for 16 hours.

02:28:52.000 This is worse than being waterboarded.

02:28:54.000 I will tell you the honest truth.

02:28:55.000 I was I was look I was stressing this more than waterboarding.

02:28:58.000 And we're not even a third of the way through.

02:28:58.000 Yeah.

02:29:00.000 Well, you knew you knew you were in good hands, Tim, and you were going to survive the waterboarding here.

02:29:06.000 I know I'm in the hands of these people want to cause me harm.

02:29:09.000 Yeah, no doubt.

02:29:10.000 So you guys woke up too late.

02:29:11.000 You missed your first segment, but it'll be on later tonight.

02:29:14.000 One thing I will say, a true story.

02:29:16.000 So I was like, hey, I'm going to write this for you guys, this script for people watching.

02:29:19.000 Hashtag CrowderCNN livestream.

02:29:21.000 By the way, join up at Mug Club.

02:29:22.000 It's a discount today.

02:29:23.000 So you have to get the plugs in.

02:29:25.000 I was writing it for you guys.

02:29:26.000 And I said, hey, I'm going to write this for your voice, for people who haven't watched the Hodge twins.

02:29:30.000 They're hysterical.

02:29:31.000 They have multiple YouTube channels.

02:29:33.000 So I was writing it for them to be arguing.

02:29:36.000 And in there I wrote a few paragraphs, and then, here's no script, they refer to themselves, they use the n-word because they're black, and so I wrote, like, later, in, like, maybe at the very last lines, I'm like, one of you saying, and I wrote n dash dash dash, right?

02:29:52.000 And I felt really uncomfortable writing this for you guys, but I was writing it in your voice.

02:29:57.000 And I was like, I don't know how offended, I don't know if they're going to be really mad or offended.

02:30:01.000 The first line, the first line Kevin comes in, Ebeneezer YouTube, at least that's what you've been telling us, nigga. 0.99

02:30:07.000 And I'm like, okay, we're fine.

02:30:09.000 I don't need to be worried.

02:30:13.000 Was that conscious or did it just flow out?

02:30:17.000 It really, the way it does it, I know where it's coming from.

02:30:20.000 A lot of people might be offended, but I know you as a person, I know what's coming from that place.

02:30:27.000 You know, I thought it was fun.

02:30:29.000 You put an A on the end of it.

02:30:30.000 I wrote it once at the end of the script and you inserted it like four or five more times before then.

02:30:36.000 But you have to understand as a white guy, I'm like, okay, what would the Hodge twins say?

02:30:39.000 Well, and I literally wrote N star star star A.

02:30:42.000 And I was like, and you guys don't have to say anything in here.

02:30:46.000 You don't want to.

02:30:47.000 I just kind of tried to write it for you.

02:30:48.000 And you're like, no, no, no.

02:30:49.000 I think I got this.

02:30:50.000 I put the A on the end of it.

02:30:54.000 Cause I'm like, okay, If I do N star star star A And it all counts It doesn't count Like, I'm okay.

02:31:04.000 And he did the ER in some takes.

02:31:06.000 I mean, he just... Well, it was great.

02:31:08.000 People lost their minds on Twitter. 1.00

02:31:09.000 I was like, oh, damn, it's like a damn race. 1.00

02:31:11.000 Well, it was great. 1.00

02:31:15.000 People lost their minds on Twitter.

02:31:17.000 Hey, what is the official Hodge Twins Twitter?

02:31:20.000 Just Hodge Twins. 0.99

02:31:23.000 Just, at Hodge Twins.

02:31:24.000 Man, I gotta go to the mall.

02:31:25.000 I gotta pick out something for my wife, man. 1.00

02:31:26.000 I do this every week, very last second.

02:31:28.000 We're still sleeping Yeah And it's not like it's that crazy Of an hour Wake up at the crack of nine Do you guys have big plans For Christmas?

02:31:38.000 Man I gotta go to the mall I gotta pick out something From my wife I do this every week The very last second You still shop And it's like Nothing today Let's do it today What's that?

02:31:38.000 Hodge twins?

02:31:51.000 Don't tell me.

02:31:51.000 One day shipping.

02:31:51.000 Yeah.

02:31:53.000 Yeah.

02:31:54.000 I'm just gonna go to Spencer's.

02:31:54.000 Well, what price will it be?

02:31:55.000 off Amazon you type in like hey you know I don't know you type in like anti-aging makeup and then it tells you Jesus was a fictional character you get everything you want add to cart one day shipping one day ship one day shipping hey hey Sven computer what was it that you tried to order on Amazon remember remember Beep beep.

02:32:22.000 I don't remember.

02:32:23.000 Beep beep boop. 0.99

02:32:24.000 Yes, you do.

02:32:24.000 Sven Computer tried to order something off of Amazon in the Alexa video.

02:32:27.000 What was it?

02:32:28.000 Beep beep.

02:32:29.000 It was the world's heaviest, though, though.

02:32:30.000 That's true.

02:32:31.000 And here's the thing, HodgeTwins. 0.77

02:32:32.000 Did you say savviest?

02:32:34.000 World's heaviest.

02:32:35.000 Yeah.

02:32:35.000 Heaviest.

02:32:36.000 We were doing the Alexa thing and did this video where Alexa was just clearly liberal biased.

02:32:40.000 And then you hear in the background, at that point, the conspiracy was that Sven Computer was my wife.

02:32:43.000 Remember that?

02:32:44.000 Oh, yeah. 0.98

02:32:45.000 And all it was was you hear, hey, Alexa, Add the world's biggest, fattest dildo to my Amazon cart. 0.92

02:32:52.000 Alexa, do next day shipping. 0.99

02:32:54.000 So, it wasn't even my Alexa, but next day shipping arrived the world's biggest, fattest, sickest dildo. 0.98

02:33:04.000 I had some explaining to do. 0.79

02:33:05.000 Very advanced search queues for some of these items.

02:33:08.000 Well, you guys are business owners.

02:33:09.000 It's not an expensive, it's not a pleasant reimbursement item.

02:33:14.000 I don't think not.

02:33:20.000 It goes through QuickBooks and an accountant says, I don't know if this is tax deductible.

02:33:25.000 I don't know.

02:33:25.000 I've had to file some weird things for CRTV.

02:33:28.000 Just, oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:33:30.000 Just some weird stuff.

02:33:31.000 All right.

02:33:32.000 Hodge twins, how much would it take for you to watch CNN for 16 hours straight?

02:33:38.000 Oh man.

02:33:39.000 It wouldn't take much.

02:33:41.000 Probably about a couple hundred thousand dollars.

02:33:46.000 Oh, right.

02:33:46.000 Well, you can buy a Clint Howard snow globe.

02:33:48.000 That's right.

02:33:49.000 You can buy a Clint Howard snow globe with that kind of money.

02:33:51.000 That's right.

02:33:57.000 For those people who don't know, this actually happened.

02:33:59.000 The Hodge twins were in the same room as Clint Howard.

02:34:03.000 And it was just the most bizarre.

02:34:04.000 Talk about surreal.

02:34:06.000 It was really bizarre.

02:34:07.000 If maple syrup were to flow down from Trade Center Tower 7 right now, with elves running, it wouldn't be more surreal.

02:34:16.000 And the Hodge twins in a room with Clint Howard in drag.

02:34:19.000 I woke up with my head sewn to the carpet.

02:34:22.000 But he was a nice guy.

02:34:23.000 You guys got along well.

02:34:24.000 It was kind of, you know, old generation acting talent and then new generation YouTube stars.

02:34:28.000 It was pretty cool.

02:34:30.000 Yeah, he was an awesome guy.

02:34:32.000 A real nice guy down there.

02:34:33.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:34:34.000 He wasn't some Hollywood asshole. 1.00

02:34:38.000 No, just a Hollywood psychopath. 1.00

02:34:39.000 All right, listen, it is at Hodge Twins. 0.84

02:34:42.000 The Hodge Twins or Hodge Twins?

02:34:43.000 Hodge Twins.

02:34:43.000 At Hodge Twins.

02:34:44.000 Tweet this out.

02:34:45.000 Keep the hashtag trending so that, you know, we get sued, hopefully by CNN, like Shia LaBeouf.

02:34:51.000 And make sure you watch this.

02:34:52.000 You guys did a great job.

02:34:54.000 Great job on the YouTube Carol, honestly.

02:34:55.000 Oh, hold on. 0.99

02:34:56.000 You're black. 1.00

02:34:57.000 You guys ever watch Kamau Bell on CNN? 0.99

02:34:57.000 He's black. 0.99

02:35:00.000 United Shades of America with Kamau Bell.

02:35:02.000 You know him?

02:35:04.000 I came across it, but I was flipping through the channels.

02:35:06.000 I watched it in about 5-10 minutes.

02:35:06.000 I didn't catch it.

02:35:07.000 That's it.

02:35:07.000 - I watched it in about five, 10 minutes.

02:35:09.000 And I said, "Uh..." - Well, he's a comedian, so I wonder, you guys might see him in the clubs.

02:35:18.000 And I bet you he's furious that you guys are bigger draws than him.

02:35:21.000 He had a late night show on ABC or CBS, and it was so bad that now he's doing...

02:35:27.000 What was that? - Yeah, I know he had a show on FWX.

02:35:29.000 I used to watch it.

02:35:30.000 I watch a couple episodes, and I know he's got a new show on CNN. 0.95

02:35:33.000 That probably sucks for him.

02:35:36.000 All we need was a video camera, and a living room, and a home, and an internet connection.

02:35:43.000 I remember how bad his show was.

02:35:44.000 He had, what's his name from Rage Against the Machine?

02:35:46.000 The like, half Asian guy? 0.98

02:35:48.000 Anyway, he's a lead singer and he was Rage Against the Machine.

02:35:50.000 He was like, man, we're fighting against the system.

02:35:52.000 And so he was actually campaigning for Obama's reelection.

02:35:55.000 I'm like, you were raging for the machine.

02:35:57.000 How is this?

02:35:58.000 How do you not see this?

02:35:59.000 And Kamau Bell.

02:36:00.000 How do you justify all of your opinions?

02:36:02.000 I don't know.

02:36:02.000 All right, we have to go.

02:36:03.000 It is at Hodge twins.

02:36:04.000 You guys did a great job.

02:36:04.000 Thanks so much for being the special guys.

02:36:06.000 Go either go to the gym or go back to sleep.

02:36:08.000 I don't know what you do with your own time, but it was a lot of fun having you out.

02:36:11.000 We're really thankful.

02:36:13.000 Alright, thank you guys.

02:36:15.000 Bye.

02:36:15.000 Thanks a lot.

02:36:16.000 God bless.

02:36:16.000 I'm gonna have to go back to the CNN, which I'm not a fan of.

02:36:19.000 What's this guy? 0.57

02:36:20.000 This guy has such a droo... He looks like that hound dog with the voice who's always upset like this. 0.91

02:36:28.000 Alright.

02:36:30.000 It's a turtle.

02:36:30.000 It looks like a sad turtle who has been beached for too long.

02:36:34.000 The turtle.

02:36:35.000 Well, it looks like a sad turtle who's been beached for too long.

02:36:40.000 Like he wasn't able to return to the sea.

02:36:43.000 Like when you sentated your scrota for too long?

02:36:45.000 Hold on a second.

02:36:48.000 Sven Computer, let's bring up the Twitter.

02:36:49.000 All right, time to read some best tweets of the day.

02:36:52.000 Sponsored by Lotterywithcrowder.com slash Mug Club.

02:36:54.000 Jared, hit that overlay.

02:36:55.000 Sponsored by Lotterywithcrowder.com slash Mug Club.

02:36:58.000 99 annually, 69 for students, veterans, active military.

02:37:00.000 That's what allows us to hold CNN's feet to the fire. 0.61

02:37:03.000 Sven Computer, do you have the Twitter?

02:37:04.000 In about one moment.

02:37:07.000 All right, what do we see?

02:37:07.000 He's connecting.

02:37:08.000 We've got this.

02:37:13.000 The twins are cutting out a bit.

02:37:14.000 Oh, we had some audio problems with the twins.

02:37:16.000 So apologies, guys.

02:37:19.000 This is live.

02:37:22.000 CNN talking about Mueller getting fired.

02:37:23.000 Someone was mentioning we missed this for the hit list.

02:37:27.000 Awesome interview.

02:37:28.000 Do you think CNN has this okay?

02:37:30.000 Hold on a second.

02:37:30.000 Hodge twins.

02:37:31.000 People love the Hodge twins.

02:37:32.000 They love them.

02:37:33.000 Someone just said sound quality is terrible.

02:37:37.000 That's Keith Smith.

02:37:38.000 Is that our sound quality or just Skype with the audience?

02:37:40.000 I think it's Skype for them.

02:37:42.000 Was it because of theirs?

02:37:43.000 Is everyone else going to be okay?

02:37:45.000 That's because they just wake up and they have no idea what they're doing.

02:37:50.000 Oh God, here's... Hey, Sven, do you have the Twitter?

02:37:53.000 Yes.

02:37:53.000 Bring up the Photoshop right now of me.

02:37:56.000 This comes from Nick Adamski.

02:37:58.000 Nick R Adamski.

02:38:00.000 Let's hit this.

02:38:01.000 Hit to Sven's overlay here.

02:38:03.000 That's a pretty damn good Photoshop.

02:38:04.000 Can you see it?

02:38:07.000 He has me duct taped to the chair with my eyes being covered.

02:38:12.000 By the way, I don't know what we have.

02:38:13.000 We have a ton of guests.

02:38:14.000 I don't know all of them.

02:38:15.000 And apparently there's some events planned.

02:38:17.000 I think like dancers.

02:38:19.000 Send Computer blew the lid off of potential midgets, which he wasn't supposed to. 1.00

02:38:23.000 I've been trying to rent a midget for years. 1.00

02:38:26.000 Oh no, Flux could kill.

02:38:28.000 He's in trouble. 0.99

02:38:28.000 Flux could kill. 0.99

02:38:29.000 He wasn't supposed to let me know, but I want to know about midgets. 1.00

02:38:32.000 What is this guy's Twitter handle?

02:38:34.000 The guy is Nick R Adamski.

02:38:37.000 Nick R Adamski.

02:38:38.000 Are you logging into my Twitter?

02:38:39.000 Yes.

02:38:40.000 Nick R Adamski, if you scroll down, there's a picture of me and it says the longest day of our lives anyway.

02:38:46.000 You've ruined the joke.

02:38:47.000 I'm sorry.

02:38:49.000 You've ruined the jokes, Ben.

02:38:50.000 Are you going through your notifications or through the hashtags?

02:38:53.000 I'm just going through the mentions.

02:38:54.000 Someone just said they already got an 8% raise from the tax bill.

02:38:57.000 You must be a corporation.

02:38:59.000 Just joined Mug Club.

02:39:01.000 Mickey J. Barr.

02:39:02.000 Hey, every time.

02:39:03.000 Do we have a bell?

02:39:04.000 Can someone bring me a bell?

02:39:06.000 Do we have a bell somewhere?

02:39:06.000 Bell?

02:39:06.000 Yeah.

02:39:07.000 We'll get a bell.

02:39:08.000 Someone get me a bell. 0.98

02:39:09.000 And what we'll do is every time someone joins Mug Club and tweets us with the hashtag, we will ring the bell.

02:39:16.000 We will have a bell to ring, because every time someone joins Mug Club, Muhammad gets accosted in hell. 0.96

02:39:23.000 As an angel gets its wings.

02:39:24.000 But really, you only care about the first part.

02:39:26.000 Thank you so much, Mickey Barr, for joining Mug Club.

02:39:28.000 This is a commercial right now, commercial break.

02:39:30.000 And then we have Gavin, and then we have YouTube Carol Segment 2, I believe, right?

02:39:34.000 I think so.

02:39:35.000 deaths during Kate Boulon, this hour with Kate Boulon.

02:39:39.000 All right, so someone says, please talk about this.

02:39:42.000 I don't know what that is.

02:39:44.000 Imagine CNN reports on this during the live stream.

02:39:48.000 How awesome would it be if CNN reported on us live streaming CNN?

02:39:52.000 That's what Christopher Nolan's done there.

02:39:56.000 Crowder CNN livestream.

02:39:58.000 Guys, we got to get this to the top so that CNN wants to harm themselves.

02:39:58.000 Still trending.

02:40:02.000 But trust me, by the time we get to night 10, this thing's going to get wild and wooly.

02:40:04.000 We have some weird stuff coming on down the pike. 0.92

02:40:06.000 That's until midnight.

02:40:07.000 It's 930 in the morning.

02:40:10.000 God.

02:40:12.000 I really don't know that I can do this.

02:40:14.000 I don't know that I can do it, especially because Jared was supposed to be here and Sven never learned how to operate the switchboard.

02:40:19.000 It's true.

02:40:20.000 So now I have no one.

02:40:21.000 I have no one to assist.

02:40:22.000 We have a commercial break here in a second here for us.

02:40:22.000 It's just me.

02:40:24.000 We have a commercial break for us before, Gavin?

02:40:26.000 Yep.

02:40:27.000 We got Simply Safe coming up here.

02:40:27.000 All right.

02:40:27.000 What do we have?

02:40:29.000 Simply Safe.

02:40:30.000 Do I have time to take a leak?

02:40:31.000 All right.

02:40:31.000 You do.

02:40:32.000 Listen, we'll be right back after this with the CNN hit list.

02:40:34.000 I have to go.

02:40:36.000 I believe it or not, I have to use the restroom and after that means, look at this, I have to use the restroom and I have to take off this belt.

02:40:42.000 So hold on a second.

02:40:43.000 Look at this.

02:40:44.000 Look at this.

02:40:45.000 This is my, this is my Walther.

02:40:47.000 See?

02:40:48.000 Right there.

02:40:49.000 But I don't want to take it out.

02:40:50.000 But look, I got appendix care.

02:40:51.000 He's an innate squared.

02:40:52.000 And you put this in a shirt, you can't see it.

02:40:54.000 But right now it just looks like a, it just looks like a vicious chastity belt.

02:40:59.000 We can hear you.

02:41:00.000 Oh, that's right, we have shotgun mines.

02:41:01.000 All right, I'm going to take a leak.

02:41:03.000 SimpliSafe commercial with the star Hopper coming up.

02:41:05.000 Hopper, eat these carrots. 1.00

02:41:06.000 Eat these carrots.

02:41:09.000 We'll be right back!

02:41:10.000 Honey, the SimpliSafe is here!

02:41:20.000 I'm gonna install it.

02:41:23.000 Oh, SimpliSafe.

02:41:25.000 A completely wireless home security system?

02:41:30.000 It only takes less than an hour to install.

02:41:32.000 We'll cover your whole house's phone line and internet crash proof.

02:41:35.000 But... But I cover the whole house.

02:41:39.000 And it offers 24-7 professional monitoring.

02:41:44.000 Simply said, joke's on you.

02:41:45.000 Steven Heumann had a monitoring system and it just got ripped off by the contracts.

02:41:50.000 So he doesn't use them anymore.

02:41:52.000 You simply say, offer 24-7 monitoring.

02:41:55.000 Only $14.99 a month with no contract!

02:41:59.000 That's not even more than my food, even.

02:42:01.000 I say, Steven's offering a sale right now for $200 off with people order at simplysafe.com slash Crowder.

02:42:09.000 Oh, Bobber.

02:42:11.000 Honey, have you seen a Simply Safe store?

02:42:21.000 Uh, I haven't seen it.

02:42:24.000 I think it broke and the trash man threw it out.

02:42:27.000 It must not be that reliable.

02:42:28.000 Don't worry, I'll bark at him.

02:42:31.000 Cause I'm a god dog.

02:42:33.000 I'm your Nike and Jared on the Shelf.

02:42:47.000 What are you... What are you doing here?

02:42:48.000 club site-up now through Christmas.

02:42:49.000 Only $99 annually.

02:42:51.000 $69 for students and vets.

02:42:53.000 What are you... what are you doing here?

02:42:55.000 Get access to Loudmouth Crowder's daily show.

02:42:57.000 Finally!

02:42:58.000 And all of CRTV's lineup, including Mark Stein, Mark Levin, and Michelle Malkin.

02:43:03.000 How'd you get in here?

02:43:06.000 Shoot me an Astroglide!

02:43:08.000 You know, Dasher and Dancer, Prancer and Vixen, Comedy, Cupid, Prancer and Vixen, Comedy, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen, Malkin.

02:43:30.000 But do you recall?

02:43:35.000 How exploitative this Christmas special really is. 0.98

02:43:39.000 Rudolph gets screwed. 0.97

02:43:41.000 It's pretty rough. 1.00

02:43:42.000 Sad as borderline racist.

02:43:44.000 You'll see what I'm talking about. 1.00

02:43:52.000 The fuck?! 1.00

02:43:53.000 Hi, you're not Gage Yern on a shelf!

02:43:54.000 I come complimentary with every Mug Club sign-up, now through the new year!

02:43:58.000 That sounds like a bargain.

02:43:59.000 Have you signed up for your Mug Club yet?

02:44:00.000 Only $99 annually, or $69 for students.

02:44:01.000 I'm not...

02:44:04.000 Not only do you get access to Loud Earth Crater daily, finally, but the entire CRTV lineup, including Mark Levin, Mark Stein, and Michelle Malkin.

02:44:13.000 This is breaking and entering.

02:44:15.000 I'd think twice about that.

02:44:17.000 Some pretty damning photos are already on the cloud.

02:44:19.000 I do what I say.

02:44:20.000 And we are back.

02:44:36.000 I'm in the room.

02:44:38.000 This is the true story.

02:44:40.000 Makes it worth using.

02:44:40.000 It's a good coffee machine.

02:44:42.000 And who do we have right now?

02:44:43.000 We have G.P.

02:44:45.000 representing the FBI plotting against candidate Trump.

02:44:47.000 Still Trump.

02:44:48.000 Some more against Trump.

02:44:49.000 How much can they talk about Russian investigation?

02:44:51.000 How much can they talk about Russia investigation?

02:44:57.000 I'm pretending I'm a host.

02:44:59.000 Anyone can do it, really.

02:45:05.000 It's pretty true.

02:45:06.000 Who is it?

02:45:07.000 Sven, who is this guy?

02:45:08.000 I don't know how to run down this guy.

02:45:11.000 Who is it?

02:45:12.000 Sven, who is this guy?

02:45:13.000 No.

02:45:15.000 Boom.

02:45:16.000 Better.

02:45:17.000 I don't know how to run down on this guy.

02:45:22.000 Who is this?

02:45:23.000 Who is this, Sven?

02:45:26.000 Do you know who this is?

02:45:29.000 There was or was not any fire.

02:45:30.000 There it is.

02:45:31.000 Frankly, I have no idea.

02:45:32.000 Sponsored by Walter, everybody!

02:45:34.000 Sponsored by Walter!

02:45:35.000 Hey, hold on a second.

02:45:36.000 Can you bring us over here before we come back into the news?

02:45:39.000 Can they hear me if I'm here?

02:45:40.000 Yes.

02:45:41.000 Can you get the shot here?

02:45:41.000 Look at this.

02:45:42.000 Or is that... Do we have anything closer?

02:45:44.000 No.

02:45:44.000 No?

02:45:44.000 Alright, look.

02:45:45.000 We got the old... Hold on, let me make sure that you guys know, okay?

02:45:50.000 There's nothing in here.

02:45:53.000 Alright.

02:45:57.000 It's hard to keep everything maintained here.

02:46:03.000 Anyway, the point is...

02:46:05.000 I'll only bring up one.

02:46:06.000 We have the old Walther PPK, classic, James Bond gun.

02:46:09.000 Here, I'll bring this up for you.

02:46:11.000 Sitting on display.

02:46:11.000 This is our new sponsor.

02:46:12.000 This is the old Walther PPK.

02:46:14.000 Where do I need to get it to get into the light?

02:46:15.000 There you go.

02:46:15.000 Right there.

02:46:16.000 Alright, let me show them this one too.

02:46:17.000 They're still going to be mad about this one.

02:46:19.000 Okay, nothing in here.

02:46:20.000 We cleared them before we went live on air.

02:46:23.000 Just making sure you can see, okay?

02:46:25.000 But we've got the old Walther, PPK here, and then we've got the new Walther.

02:46:30.000 We've got the PPQ.

02:46:31.000 This is an incredible firearm.

02:46:34.000 Our only ad campaign for Walther, just for people who don't know, is try it.

02:46:40.000 That's it.

02:46:43.000 That's all?

02:46:44.000 You're going to buy a firearm this season.

02:46:46.000 If you're thinking about it, if you're thinking about a Glock, if you're thinking about a Smith & Wesson, if you're thinking about a Ruger, try the Walther.

02:46:52.000 Just go in.

02:46:53.000 Go to the range.

02:46:54.000 Rent them for ten bucks.

02:46:56.000 I really did take a leak.

02:46:57.000 That wasn't a joke.

02:46:58.000 Just try the Walther.

02:46:59.000 Just go in and ask to try the Walther.

02:47:00.000 I guarantee you the trigger on that thing, it's like a match trigger.

02:47:04.000 It's silly how easy it is to be accurate with it.

02:47:04.000 You know.

02:47:06.000 Yeah.

02:47:08.000 I'll say this.

02:47:09.000 We played with Aaron, the intern, a little game, like Battleship, but on target paper.

02:47:14.000 It became very quick to be unfun because he's like, OK, let's only use your Walther because this is my Walther.

02:47:14.000 Right.

02:47:20.000 You're my Walther.

02:47:20.000 OK, you got one after I did.

02:47:22.000 I had a Glock.

02:47:23.000 This was the PPQ.

02:47:25.000 Yeah, but I guess your Glock is a 45.

02:47:26.000 Yeah, Glock is 45.

02:47:28.000 Yeah, this is the PPQ 9mm compared to his very similar 9mm.

02:47:32.000 But looking back, because you didn't really none of us had had Walthers, would you get the 45 PPQ instead of the Glock?

02:47:39.000 I certainly would have tried it.

02:47:40.000 I have no idea.

02:47:40.000 I've never tried it.

02:47:41.000 It won gun of the year last year.

02:47:42.000 It won gun of the year last year, the PPQ-45, because people were asking for it.

02:47:42.000 Yeah.

02:47:46.000 They do have it in a .45.

02:47:47.000 That doesn't surprise me.

02:47:48.000 It's the same thing as your Glock, only with the Walther trigger and ergonomics.

02:47:50.000 It is an incredible firearm.

02:47:51.000 Anyway, one thing, we just say thank you so much to our sponsors, SimpliSafe this year.

02:47:56.000 SimpliSafe.com slash Crowder for 10% off.

02:47:58.000 And thanks so much to Walther for having the balls to step up and support this show. 0.91

02:48:02.000 You'd be surprised how big of a pussy most firearm companies are they acquiesce to the anti-gun lobby they're terrified they cower we told walther listen this is what we do we're conservative we're all christian conservatives here except for sven computer who's an atheist he's hellbound he'll be meeting muhammad soon but we said we're christian we said we're do not speak unless spoken to computer What is it? 0.97

02:48:26.000 The AI. 0.97

02:48:26.000 You need input. 0.97

02:48:28.000 And Walter said, no, no, no, don't hit that button.

02:48:29.000 That means you're going to talk.

02:48:30.000 I didn't ask you to talk.

02:48:31.000 And then Jared can talk.

02:48:33.000 Jared's mic is on.

02:48:34.000 Sven's computer is only on upon research request.

02:48:37.000 Walter said, fine.

02:48:37.000 Sure.

02:48:38.000 We're like, we've done Tranny Bain.

02:48:40.000 We're like, fine. 0.99

02:48:42.000 We drew Shia LaBeouf's lawyers eating from a corn-infested pile of crap next to Muhammad is Bob Ross. 0.99

02:48:49.000 How do I know? 0.98

02:48:49.000 We drew Bob Ross lawyers. 0.98

02:48:50.000 They were like, yeah, that's cool.

02:48:51.000 That sounds pretty funny.

02:48:53.000 That's literally kind of it.

02:48:54.000 Thank you.

02:48:55.000 Walterfirearms.com.

02:48:55.000 Yeah.

02:48:57.000 Go check him out.

02:48:57.000 And I wouldn't, you know me, we did it.

02:48:59.000 We did that video.

02:49:00.000 First time gun shooter.

02:49:01.000 Remember a long time ago?

02:49:02.000 Yeah.

02:49:02.000 I remember that.

02:49:03.000 With Scott.

02:49:04.000 Yeah.

02:49:04.000 And he was like, I'd definitely be getting the PPQ.

02:49:06.000 Exactly.

02:49:07.000 We were not sponsored by Walter.

02:49:07.000 Yeah.

02:49:08.000 Nope.

02:49:09.000 Jared knows this.

02:49:10.000 They've just always been... I've just been a huge advocate.

02:49:12.000 He tried a range.

02:49:12.000 He tried a broader range of guns and made it into the video.

02:49:14.000 He tried a ton of guns.

02:49:14.000 He did.

02:49:15.000 He tried a lot of different ones.

02:49:16.000 I've always been a revolver guy.

02:49:16.000 And I will say this.

02:49:18.000 I'm revolver guy or Walther.

02:49:20.000 That's pretty much it.

02:49:21.000 Because it's the closest thing.

02:49:22.000 No external safety with what I use.

02:49:24.000 You don't have to worry about it.

02:49:25.000 Just boom.

02:49:26.000 Point.

02:49:26.000 Go.

02:49:27.000 Super accurate.

02:49:28.000 Super reliable.

02:49:28.000 Never had a problem.

02:49:29.000 And then I also have a lot of revolvers.

02:49:31.000 We have a guest.

02:49:32.000 Hold on a second.

02:49:33.000 What are they talking about?

02:49:34.000 Corporate tax cut.

02:49:35.000 The biggest factor in bill.

02:49:37.000 Good!

02:49:38.000 CNN, I'm really glad to hear that.

02:49:42.000 And then we have a guest.

02:49:43.000 Okay, for the next guest sound guy, we're going to get me some headphones, right?

02:49:45.000 So I can hear them a little bit better.

02:49:47.000 Right, Nakajaren?

02:49:48.000 We'll turn up a little bit.

02:49:48.000 Okay, good.

02:49:49.000 So are you there?

02:49:49.000 We have Gavin McInnis.

02:49:51.000 How are you, sir?

02:49:52.000 Hi, Steven.

02:49:53.000 How are you today?

02:49:54.000 I am, well, terrible.

02:49:56.000 I'll tell you what, I actually preferred waterboarding to this.

02:49:58.000 It's 945.

02:49:59.000 I don't know how I'm going to make through 16 hours of CNN.

02:50:05.000 That's the plan?

02:50:05.000 I knew you were doing a long show, I didn't know you were going to be watching CNN for 16 hours.

02:50:09.000 Yeah, well we wanted to do 24 hours, but they're so lazy, they only do 16 hours of programming.

02:50:15.000 So I wasn't going to watch Don Lemon on repeat, you know?

02:50:19.000 You know what you need to get you through this, and it follows the theme of Christmas, it's called a little snow, a little cocaine.

02:50:28.000 Well, for people who don't know, you know, we've been doing the YouTube, Carol.

02:50:30.000 I don't know if you've been watching at all.

02:50:31.000 We had segment one.

02:50:33.000 There may or may not be a Gavin cameo somewhere in there.

02:50:36.000 And Gavin has his own mug.

02:50:38.000 By the way, Gavin, now, of course, we created Mug Club, and they just copy-created mugs, but they are nice mugs.

02:50:44.000 I created a different thing.

02:50:46.000 I created a thing called Gavin's Mug Club.

02:50:48.000 Okay.

02:50:49.000 It's a thing where you can sign up and you get a mug.

02:50:52.000 It's got my face on it.

02:50:54.000 And it's just a way, it's just a fun club I am.

02:50:57.000 It could be part of a group, but it's Gavin's Mug Club.

02:51:02.000 Yes, Gavin's Mug Club.

02:51:03.000 Well, the good thing is we're all under that umbrella, you know, at CRTV, so people can join up and there's a discount if they're a veteran, military, or student.

02:51:10.000 Gavin, tell them about your show there on CRTV.

02:51:11.000 By the way, right now on CNN, they're talking about the corporate tax cut is the biggest factor in the bill, as though it's a bad thing.

02:51:20.000 Are you upset at the idea of reducing the highest corporate tax rate in the world?

02:51:23.000 Is it just me, or do I see that and go, good, yeah, sounds fine?

02:51:26.000 No, I'm not upset, but I'm one of the few people who should be upset.

02:51:30.000 I'm rich.

02:51:31.000 I'm going to get rich.

02:51:32.000 It's true.

02:51:33.000 Well, you just don't get helped.

02:51:35.000 Yeah, I can't write off a bunch of stuff that I could write off last year.

02:51:35.000 Right.

02:51:38.000 And my taxes, by the way, are more than what most of these critics will make in a lifetime.

02:51:44.000 No, I know.

02:51:44.000 Right.

02:51:45.000 We have the right to complain.

02:51:47.000 We have employees.

02:51:48.000 We run businesses.

02:51:49.000 And we don't complain. 0.96

02:51:50.000 But the people who don't generate any income don't have a job don't even have kids they can't wait to bitch because they're spoiled. 1.00

02:51:57.000 Well even not gay Jared you know not gay Jared is in the is in a bracket actually where he should benefit I think from this. 0.93

02:52:02.000 Yeah you absolutely should but it's that's one thing people don't understand it's middle middle.

02:52:07.000 When they say the wealthiest 5%, you're in that top 10%.

02:52:10.000 We're all in the top 1% of the world, but a lot of employees here do well enough that these tax cuts will affect them.

02:52:15.000 Not to mention, we'll be able to add more employees.

02:52:18.000 I mean, you know, you have a show.

02:52:19.000 The way CRTV works is we all kind of produce our own shows, so we employ people in different areas of the country.

02:52:25.000 And the more your show grows, the more people who sign up, the more people you're able to employ.

02:52:29.000 Let's say you had an extra million dollars to our own budget, I would imagine the very first thing you would do is probably hire more people, and then probably improve some tech capabilities.

02:52:39.000 Is that a little underhand stuff?

02:52:43.000 No, we need a better switcher here, so we have a plan for the new year, depending on how many people join today, two new hires, and then some new things that we need to fix in the studio.

02:52:52.000 Look, I'm so rich that money is just a thing.

02:52:57.000 Like when they say, that'll be $35, sir.

02:52:59.000 I just go, you mean these?

02:53:01.000 And I take out my wallet and I just show them some bills and they go, it's one of those, one of those, and one of these.

02:53:06.000 And I go, okay, well get it out of my hand.

02:53:08.000 It's like every day it's just like being in a strip club.

02:53:10.000 And I just sort of go, is this enough for dinner?

02:53:12.000 Is this enough for those drinks?

02:53:13.000 Is this enough for that car?

02:53:16.000 It's gonna go in the pile.

02:53:17.000 Well, maybe not the best ambassador, then, for this tax bill, because I don't think people are hearing your story, and this sounds like a good idea.

02:53:23.000 Do you want me to give you the hit list thus far?

02:53:25.000 Gerald Morgan at G. Morgan Jr.

02:53:26.000 is here with us, by the way.

02:53:27.000 I know since you haven't been watching, do you want me to give you the hit list thus far, Gavin, of the biases and flat-out lies from CNN just in the first hour and 49 minutes?

02:53:36.000 Yes, and before you do, I wouldn't be surprised, and I'm a sexist so I'm biased, that there was a disproportionate number of women saying these things.

02:53:45.000 I've noticed that we've got that Zoe Tuerer's daughter, Katie Tuerer, and some other chick. 1.00

02:53:51.000 Wait, which one's the Tuerer, the tranny who strangled Ben Shapiro? 1.00

02:53:55.000 That's Zoe Tour. 0.97

02:54:00.000 She was on CNN talking, laughing about how much, how generous this is to those evil corporations.

02:54:07.000 Alright.

02:54:08.000 That's a lie right there, but let me read you a couple.

02:54:10.000 So right away, CNN started off with stoking Russian hysteria, talking about him firing Mueller.

02:54:14.000 He already said he wasn't going to fire Mueller.

02:54:16.000 Adam Schiff talking about the Mueller probe.

02:54:18.000 He's been saying he has evidence for nine months.

02:54:19.000 There has been no evidence presented.

02:54:21.000 Then we have, no mention at all, by the way, Gavin, it's trend number three.

02:54:24.000 We're trend number eight.

02:54:25.000 Hashtag Crowder CNN Livestream.

02:54:27.000 I really hope you're tweeting out your appearance because we need the support.

02:54:29.000 We want CNN's not happy, so we want to make them really livid.

02:54:32.000 But no mention of Uranium One.

02:54:34.000 No mention at all thus far all day.

02:54:36.000 Then they talk about the CHIP program saying that Republicans want to defund it.

02:54:39.000 They're going to kill nine million tiny Tims. 0.97

02:54:41.000 That's not true.

02:54:42.000 They put a bill forward to fund it for another five years.

02:54:45.000 Democrats didn't like the way it was going to be funded, so they're the ones who are shutting it down.

02:54:48.000 Uh, they mentioned the Melbourne attack.

02:54:50.000 They said that someone ran a car into a group of holiday shoppers.

02:54:55.000 Actually, it's an Afghani named Saeed Nayori, and he ran it into Christmas shoppers.

02:54:58.000 Then, of course, they said there's a mysterious case of death at the border, and we're still looking into it.

02:55:02.000 No, the number two suspects there have been federal investigations are two illegal immigrant drug dealers.

02:55:08.000 All of this in one hour and 45 minutes.

02:55:10.000 Gavin, can you believe it?

02:55:12.000 Wait a minute.

02:55:13.000 In their defense, holiday shoppers are Christmas shoppers?

02:55:17.000 That doesn't seem like that big of a flub.

02:55:19.000 Well, they didn't mention that he was an Afghani Muslim.

02:55:22.000 They just said some guy. 0.57

02:55:23.000 Illegal.

02:55:24.000 That's a lie.

02:55:25.000 That's negligent.

02:55:27.000 Well, that's what I'm saying.

02:55:28.000 It's the bias by omissions.

02:55:29.000 No, he's not illegal.

02:55:30.000 That's the people who killed the border agent.

02:55:32.000 And they just said someone killed this border patrol agent and it's a case we don't know.

02:55:35.000 It's like, well, the suspects are two illegal immigrants.

02:55:39.000 But the point is that the Christmas instead of holiday is just the politically correct cherry on top of the fake news Sunday.

02:55:46.000 I was talking to John Williams about this yesterday.

02:55:51.000 I don't get why they want the world to be the way it is. 0.99

02:55:55.000 They want Nazis and white terrorists to be the problem, and they don't want Muslims to be the problem. 0.96

02:56:02.000 So they purposely avoid any kind of a Muslim pattern, yet with anyone who looks like a I just don't understand why. 1.00

02:56:09.000 through his entire life, they find calm.

02:56:11.000 Kind of finds it.

02:56:13.000 And I just don't understand why.

02:56:15.000 Why do they want America to be a racist, sexist, transphobic, homophobic? 0.93

02:56:21.000 They need it to.

02:56:22.000 They need it to for any of their ideologies to work.

02:56:24.000 We were talking about this, right?

02:56:26.000 A good example is like Russia.

02:56:27.000 What was a lie?

02:56:28.000 The Trump-Russia dossier, right?

02:56:29.000 It was a lie.

02:56:30.000 So they need another Trump-Russia story to justify their lie, right?

02:56:33.000 They're protecting their source.

02:56:34.000 Well, why would you protect a source that humiliated you?

02:56:37.000 Because it's probably some top Democrat.

02:56:38.000 Likely Schiff.

02:56:40.000 You know what I mean?

02:56:40.000 Like, why would you protect a source that hung you out to dry?

02:56:42.000 You say, my source sucked. 1.00

02:56:45.000 It was Jimmy, and everyone's like, ah, Jimmy, you're an asshole. 1.00

02:56:48.000 Instead, CNN protects the source that embarrassed them. 1.00

02:56:52.000 So they need another story.

02:56:53.000 Oh, Nikki Haley.

02:56:54.000 Okay, hold on one second.

02:56:55.000 Gavin, am I the only one who thinks that Nikki Haley is kind of fine?

02:56:59.000 Oh, that's my type in a nutshell.

02:57:02.000 I like haggard brunettes. 1.00

02:57:03.000 She's not that haggard.

02:57:04.000 She looks like she's worked hard, but she doesn't look haggard to me.

02:57:08.000 She just looks like she's led a life, but she's very pretty and she puts herself together well.

02:57:12.000 Yeah, she makes me seek. 0.85

02:57:15.000 Okay.

02:57:19.000 I think it's like the Russian example, or like the illegal immigrant example, right? 0.91

02:57:23.000 If they say, who's to know?

02:57:25.000 And someone says, actually, we have right here the report from the FBI, they're looking in as two illegal immigrant drug cartels.

02:57:30.000 They need another lie.

02:57:31.000 They need it to be, no, no, no, it's not illegal aliens.

02:57:34.000 They need it because they reported, we have no idea who this is.

02:57:38.000 No, no, it's an Afghani Muslim. 0.65

02:57:39.000 They need another lie Just to prevent themselves from embarrassment. 0.97

02:57:43.000 It's the same thing with Marxism.

02:57:44.000 It's the same thing with their tax policy.

02:57:46.000 It's never worked.

02:57:47.000 Show me one place, one place where Marxism, one place where communism has ever worked.

02:57:52.000 It's never worked, so they need the next one.

02:57:54.000 They have a communist mentality, which is, I start with the conclusion and then I work backwards from there.

02:58:01.000 So the conclusion is that we have a problem with Nazis. 0.59

02:58:05.000 And then I'm just going to go through American culture and try to find examples to plug it in.

02:58:10.000 Like they have this theory that Trump has enabled all these Nazis to come out of the woodwork.

02:58:16.000 They were all sitting there waiting, and now they feel empowered.

02:58:19.000 That's the thing they started with the conclusion, and now they just have to find examples.

02:58:23.000 And there aren't examples.

02:58:24.000 They just come up with hate crime.

02:58:26.000 Okay, I'm going to spray-paint pale Trump on this building to make it so.

02:58:32.000 Exactly. 0.92

02:58:33.000 Poop swastika. 0.95

02:58:35.000 Poop Swastika. 0.97

02:58:36.000 Is Sound Guy Edward gone?

02:58:37.000 Yeah, he's peeing.

02:58:39.000 Alright, well, is there any way to bring up the sound so we can all hear the... Can Gavin hear the CNN?

02:58:45.000 Poop Swastika are playing at Mercury Lounge on Thursday if you guys want to go.

02:58:48.000 I know the bases.

02:58:51.000 Yeah, they really have run out of band names.

02:58:52.000 I saw that when I was in a car with Andrew Breitbart and this band came on, Deer Tick, and Andrew turned to me and he just said, I really, like, I hate to be that guy where their generation, like, is mad about Elvis swiveling his hips, but it really feels as though they've run out of band names when it's Deer Tick.

02:59:09.000 And he went into the science of why it was a bad band name.

02:59:14.000 Okay, well, you know what, Gavin, where's the best place for people to find you, sir?

02:59:16.000 We're going to have to go watch Nikki Haley here. 1.00

02:59:21.000 I'm on a website called CRTV.com, and if you go there you can join Gavin's Mug Club.

02:59:28.000 It's Gavin's Mug Club.

02:59:29.000 You get $10 off, and you get to see all of the top people at CRTV, like Michelle Malkin, Phil Robertson, me, I think that's pretty much it.

02:59:38.000 Thank you very much, Gavin McInnes!

02:59:39.000 We must go!

02:59:41.000 Alright, we're back to watching Haley.

02:59:43.000 Gerald Morgan with us.

02:59:44.000 Yeah.

02:59:44.000 What's the wine of the day?

02:59:45.000 The wine of the day?

02:59:46.000 I'm going to bring that in a little while.

02:59:47.000 It's too early for a wine of the day.

02:59:48.000 Were you planning on coming later?

02:59:49.000 Yeah, I'm coming multiple times.

02:59:50.000 Alright, there we go.

02:59:51.000 Wow, that bet could be taken.

02:59:52.000 Horrible.

02:59:52.000 Do we have a sound adjustment?

02:59:53.000 Just sit back and relax.

02:59:54.000 Well, I had to move the microphone because it was, you know, a tiny person.

02:59:57.000 Ignore my gun chastity belt from Walther. 0.96

02:59:59.000 I'm staring at your crotch for reasons that I am not aware of. 0.98

03:00:02.000 Alright, let's bring up Nikki Haley a little bit, everyone. 0.98

03:00:04.000 Let's hear... Hashtag CrowderCNN livestream.

03:00:06.000 Let's hear what she has to say to the UN.

03:00:07.000 Please, tear them a new one. 0.87

03:00:09.000 Instead, there is a larger point to make.

03:00:13.000 The United States will remember this day in which it was singled out for attack in the General Assembly for the very act of exercising our right as a sovereign nation.

03:00:24.000 Why would you ever mute us?

03:00:25.000 This is the show!

03:00:25.000 The funny part is when we just talk.

03:00:26.000 Well, not when you talk.

03:00:27.000 Well, that's true.

03:00:27.000 make the world's largest contribution to the united nations and we will remember it when so many countries come calling on us as they know don't why would you ever mute us this is the show the funny part is when we just talk well not when you talk well that's true i'm just saying let's just have the audio going so everyone can hear the audio that goes that is what the american people want us to do and let's hear it it is the right thing to do i You don't think that's a good-looking woman?

03:00:53.000 Eh, I mean, good, yeah.

03:00:57.000 Sound guy Edward thinks she's good-looking. 0.99

03:00:58.000 Well, he said he likes haggard brunettes, which reminded me of like... No, that was Ed Gavin.

03:01:01.000 No, I know Gavin said that, but it reminded me of like, well, it's like strippers and other stuff that look a little haggard. 0.99

03:01:07.000 You're a horrible Christian. 1.00

03:01:08.000 Not at all. 1.00

03:01:10.000 That's his comeback.

03:01:11.000 No, not at all.

03:01:12.000 No, I'm not.

03:01:14.000 I think it's incredible that they even put it out there.

03:01:19.000 It's great.

03:01:19.000 Like, we're actually standing up against the... Hey, can you do me a favor?

03:01:23.000 Hopper is scraping at the door.

03:01:25.000 Hopper is banging at the door like Kudra right now trying to get in.

03:01:25.000 I can't hear.

03:01:27.000 He wants to be in.

03:01:28.000 This is the time for him to hang out with us.

03:01:29.000 There you go.

03:01:30.000 Come on in, buddy.

03:01:30.000 Come on, Hopper.

03:01:31.000 He's coming over here for some pets.

03:01:31.000 Oh, buddy.

03:01:33.000 That's right, buddy.

03:01:34.000 He had to take the scarf off of him.

03:01:36.000 Hi, bud.

03:01:36.000 Okay.

03:01:37.000 Oh, geez.

03:01:41.000 I think it's crazy that you're going to see the UN do this, and they won't probably cover this part of it, so this is maybe a sin of omission here, is that I think 6 of the 12 UN resolutions are against Israel, when they're kind of handing out demerits for people right now.

03:01:53.000 What are they voting on exactly?

03:01:55.000 I'm not sure.

03:01:56.000 I'd have to look it up.

03:01:57.000 It was already established, Jerusalem as the Israeli capital.

03:02:01.000 Right.

03:02:02.000 I don't think it's that.

03:02:04.000 I don't know.

03:02:04.000 We'll have to look it up real quick and just make sure.

03:02:06.000 But I believe it's probably just going to be condemning that action.

03:02:09.000 Probably.

03:02:09.000 Right?

03:02:10.000 I don't understand what the vote is.

03:02:12.000 What is it?

03:02:12.000 I don't think it's that.

03:02:13.000 I don't think it's that.

03:02:14.000 I don't know.

03:02:15.000 We'll have to look it up real quick and just make sure.

03:02:16.000 But I believe it's probably just going to be condemning that action, right?

03:02:20.000 They're voting on condemning the action.

03:02:22.000 That's all they ever do.

03:02:22.000 Probably.

03:02:23.000 They don't actually do anything.

03:02:25.000 They just condemn Israel.

03:02:27.000 And anybody that supports Israel. 0.52

03:02:28.000 Does anyone here, I'm gonna look on Twitter right now, does anyone know what they're actually voting on in the UN here today?

03:02:33.000 Ask Dolev on Twitter, she'll know.

03:02:34.000 Sorry, hopefully the sound isn't too bad.

03:02:35.000 We have a guy who was not supposed to come today who's running electrical.

03:02:38.000 Don't you worry.

03:02:39.000 They are, they're voting on a resolution to condemn the United States for recognizing Jerusalem.

03:02:46.000 As capital and moving embassy.

03:02:46.000 Yeah.

03:02:47.000 Yes, Sven Computer.

03:02:48.000 It's okay, at Sven Computer.

03:02:49.000 You have the overlay?

03:02:51.000 Alright.

03:02:52.000 It's okay.

03:02:53.000 Sorry, people.

03:02:54.000 This is the show.

03:02:55.000 No, it's live.

03:02:55.000 I think people like that.

03:02:56.000 We completely crash.

03:02:56.000 Usually, you know, just so you know, overlays, we are so meticulous.

03:03:00.000 Usually what you're seeing now is we watch something, we say, hey, that sounds like BS.

03:03:05.000 And so then we say, OK, let's do some research.

03:03:07.000 And then we have the overlays pre-made.

03:03:09.000 And then you see them that night.

03:03:09.000 Yeah.

03:03:10.000 Are you going to go ask them to shut up?

03:03:12.000 Just tell them they don't need to do their electrical stuff today.

03:03:14.000 There are people out there with weed whackers and weed blowers.

03:03:18.000 Oh, my gosh. 1.00

03:03:19.000 Hopper's going to go kill them. 1.00

03:03:20.000 He's going to be angry. 0.99

03:03:20.000 That's the problem when you have a corporate office and people, you know, they're doing this. 0.99

03:03:23.000 We have to wash everyone's windows today.

03:03:25.000 Not ours!

03:03:28.000 Not ours!

03:03:29.000 We've got SimpliSafe though.

03:03:31.000 All right, hold on a second.

03:03:32.000 We got the overlay there, Sven?

03:03:33.000 Sven Shapiro points out on Twitter.

03:03:35.000 This is not a new development.

03:03:36.000 I mean, the UN is known for just criticizing Israel, just slamming it every turn.

03:03:41.000 So the 135 resolutions pretty much in the last 10 years, more than 50% have been against Israel.

03:03:48.000 And 83 of the last 97 criticizing countries have also been against Israel.

03:03:54.000 So, just so you know, it's not new.

03:03:56.000 So it's about moving the American embassy?

03:03:58.000 Well, it's about us saying that Jerusalem is the capital and moving our embassy there.

03:04:03.000 And agreeing with that.

03:04:03.000 Right.

03:04:04.000 Moving our embassy there.

03:04:05.000 Something that has been done technically.

03:04:07.000 Yes, but it's our embassy.

03:04:09.000 People understand, for example, in the United States there's a German embassy.

03:04:11.000 We can do whatever the hell we want is what you're saying, right?

03:04:13.000 Germany can put their embassy where they want in the United States. 0.99

03:04:15.000 Honest, dumb question. 0.95

03:04:16.000 What does the UN have to gain by supporting, like, leaning a little Hamasi? 0.99

03:04:20.000 I think it shows the bias.

03:04:22.000 Yeah, but I don't know what they have.

03:04:23.000 It is a good question.

03:04:24.000 What do they have to gain?

03:04:25.000 Well, what they would probably claim is, here's a good example, right?

03:04:28.000 There's more peace and tension.

03:04:29.000 When you have Syria, Egypt, Jordan, everyone wanting to wipe Israel off the face of the map, and the UN are a bunch of spineless pansies, right? 0.68

03:04:35.000 For example, you know, if you look at the UN, you look at the Seven Day War, it's like, oh, here's a place that gained land in a defensive war, Israel.

03:04:35.000 Yeah.

03:04:42.000 When countries came together to wipe them out, If the UN wants, I don't know, this is just a hunch, if the UN wants as little work to do as possible, it's just a lot easier to side with everyone who wants to kill them.

03:04:53.000 There's one little plot of land, everyone wants them out, and the UN wants to appease as many people as possible.

03:04:58.000 So, mob rule.

03:04:59.000 Yeah, hold on, Sven Computer had something.

03:05:01.000 So, as Reginald just said, this is coming from CBS, so this resolution that they're voting on right now is stating that any decision to change the status of Jerusalem is null and void, has no legal effect, and that it must be rescinded.

03:05:12.000 So that's precisely what they're voting on.

03:05:14.000 You know what?

03:05:14.000 Big middle finger to you, UN.

03:05:17.000 We can do whatever we want.

03:05:18.000 I'm sorry.

03:05:18.000 I mean, Trump yesterday just tweeted... I don't care if you like it.

03:05:21.000 I don't know if he tweeted it, but he said that... I can't hear you.

03:05:23.000 Beep, beep, boop. 1.00

03:05:26.000 Trump said that he's watching this closely, beep beep, because all these countries, all the Muslim countries that are going to vote against Israel, beep beep, they are getting foreign aid by the US, beep beep, so he wants to cut the funding, potentially, if they keep on voting that way against Israel.

03:05:43.000 Am I the only one who thinks it's entirely reasonable?

03:05:46.000 Yeah.

03:05:46.000 Very, very reasonable.

03:05:47.000 And I'll bring the spiritual component in.

03:05:48.000 Like, this is prophesied.

03:05:49.000 Like, nobody's gonna like Israel. 0.98

03:05:51.000 Sorry.

03:05:51.000 It's just gonna be the case.

03:05:52.000 And they know that.

03:05:52.000 Well, tweet me that as Crowder.

03:05:53.000 Hashtag CrowderCNNLivestream.

03:05:55.000 Tweet me what you think on the Israel situation.

03:05:57.000 Do you think that we... Maybe if we bring that a little down, Jared, because now it's hot on my chest.

03:05:57.000 Yeah.

03:06:01.000 Maybe it's because you're showing so much of your chest.

03:06:03.000 Well, here's the problem.

03:06:04.000 If I button this, it's so... It stretches out over the days.

03:06:07.000 It's just cotton.

03:06:08.000 There's no underarmor.

03:06:08.000 That's true.

03:06:09.000 Yeah, you gotta throw it in there and shrink it.

03:06:11.000 I come by this honestly.

03:06:13.000 You should just go topless towards the end.

03:06:15.000 That's really when things will get interesting.

03:06:16.000 Someone said, so Samir Karam said the UN decision will be based on the fear of violent countries and greed when it comes to the rich countries like Saudi Arabia.

03:06:22.000 That is one thing, though.

03:06:24.000 You got to admit, you kind of have to go with one or the other.

03:06:28.000 Either the Jews are money-grubbing, you know, shekel hucksters, or they took the only plot of land in that entire area of the world with no oil. 1.00

03:06:37.000 Yeah. 0.94

03:06:38.000 You've made a horrible financial decision.

03:06:40.000 Well, it's really interesting.

03:06:41.000 You know, we had some Egyptian people that we knew that they would say that the Israelis, they could run their hands through the sand and pull out gold because they could produce stuff in land that nobody else could.

03:06:49.000 If you look historically, every time that the Jews were not there inhabiting it, it was like jackals in ruins, man. 0.97

03:06:54.000 It didn't really work out so well.

03:06:56.000 Oh, we're going to get flak for you referring to the jackals.

03:06:58.000 No, I understand.

03:06:58.000 Wait, what?

03:06:59.000 What's the jackal reference?

03:07:00.000 I feel like you guys just brightened everything up, and now it's my turn to see the television.

03:07:04.000 They're working on it.

03:07:05.000 They're moving the lights around a little bit. 0.97

03:07:06.000 It really does look stupid when I see Jared walking around in his onesie right now. 0.99

03:07:10.000 Like, I didn't realize how dumb it looks. 1.00

03:07:11.000 You know what you look like in real life. 0.94

03:07:13.000 Oh, Haley's back up, or is this just a flashback?

03:07:15.000 Probably a flashback.

03:07:16.000 It's a flashback.

03:07:17.000 Okay.

03:07:18.000 I mean, I respect her.

03:07:19.000 She got up there and said, we're going to be the only people that stand with Israel, and thank God, that's a promise in the Bible that we're going to be okay if we do that.

03:07:26.000 Hold on, Sven Computer has some research here.

03:07:27.000 Yes.

03:07:28.000 Well, it's still raining, too.

03:07:31.000 Okay, good.

03:07:33.000 I mean, Saudi Arabia... At Sven Computer, by the way, for people who are wondering.

03:07:36.000 At Sven Computer, use a hashtag.

03:07:37.000 Use a hashtag.

03:07:38.000 You can only get giveaways if you use the hashtag.

03:07:40.000 And by the way, give me that bell.

03:07:41.000 Go ahead.

03:07:43.000 I mean, Saudi Arabia is on the UN Women's Rights Commission, so just so you know what kind of a joke the UN is. 0.98

03:07:50.000 Saudi Arabia for women's rights.

03:07:53.000 It's like Puerto Ricans for birth control. 1.00

03:07:55.000 Ouch. 0.62

03:07:56.000 They have a lot of children.

03:07:57.000 And I'm going to get in trouble for jackals?

03:07:59.000 Really?

03:08:00.000 What?

03:08:00.000 But it's expected of me.

03:08:02.000 Oh, that's true.

03:08:03.000 That's true.

03:08:03.000 You don't have the license that I do.

03:08:04.000 I called Hopper a white supremacist earlier.

03:08:06.000 Well, he is.

03:08:07.000 And the Hodge twins, back that up, I loved watching those guys.

03:08:10.000 You should have seen the Hodge twins, by the way.

03:08:12.000 Oh, that's awesome.

03:08:13.000 Nothing like perpetuating the original stereotype.

03:08:15.000 We're terrified of Hopper.

03:08:17.000 Terrified of Hopper.

03:08:17.000 Yeah.

03:08:19.000 You know, I'm just gonna say it.

03:08:19.000 Separate the two.

03:08:20.000 It was so funny.

03:08:21.000 We were sitting there, Hopper was growling and trying to get in, right?

03:08:23.000 Like he was just now.

03:08:24.000 He's always trying to get in the studio just because he wants to hang out.

03:08:26.000 And the Hodge twins look at me and they go, you know what your dog's saying, right?

03:08:29.000 I said, what? 0.99

03:08:29.000 He's saying, yeah, there's niggers over there. 0.99

03:08:35.000 No, you're supposed to come in and say hi! 0.99

03:08:36.000 You're like, I don't want a dog to come and say hi.

03:08:38.000 I'm a bitten by a dog. 0.99

03:08:40.000 You mean this all-white dog is gonna come and say hi to these black kids? 1.00

03:08:43.000 Watch someone say, did you ever see The N-Word? 0.99

03:08:43.000 I don't know. 0.99

03:08:45.000 Yes, I have in my lifetime.

03:08:46.000 Of course, quote him.

03:08:47.000 When I quoted the Hodge twins.

03:08:48.000 Yeah.

03:08:50.000 They're so funny.

03:08:50.000 Every time I sing a rap song, too.

03:08:53.000 Oh my gosh, do we have another?

03:08:54.000 Are we going to YouTube Carol 2?

03:08:55.000 Is that what we need to go to here soon, or when are we?

03:08:57.000 Let's see.

03:08:58.000 In 15 minutes.

03:08:59.000 You guys actually have a schedule?

03:09:00.000 In 15 minutes, segment 2 of the YouTube Carol.

03:09:00.000 Holy cow.

03:09:05.000 Can we tell people who the Ghost of Christmas Past is at that point, or do they need to watch?

03:09:08.000 Wait, I think they need to get the reveal.

03:09:10.000 I think you've got to tune in to see who the Ghost of Christmas Past is, but I want you to picture someone very feminine and floaty and...

03:09:17.000 That's all I'll give you.

03:09:19.000 That's a lot of detail.

03:09:20.000 So the Twitter consensus is she's good-looking. 0.98

03:09:23.000 The Twitter consensus is right.

03:09:24.000 She is.

03:09:25.000 I'm just saying it doesn't do what it does for Gavin to me.

03:09:29.000 That's true.

03:09:29.000 Okay?

03:09:30.000 It doesn't make me stand up and go, yeah, that's a really beautiful woman. 0.64

03:09:33.000 You keep talking.

03:09:34.000 I have to send a text here.

03:09:35.000 Yeah, I will.

03:09:37.000 Jared, how are you?

03:09:38.000 No, I'm just kidding.

03:09:39.000 People are wondering why you aren't wearing a onesie today, by the way.

03:09:42.000 Well, no, no, that's not in my contract.

03:09:44.000 Do we have a taser?

03:09:45.000 That's not in my contract.

03:09:46.000 It needs to be tased.

03:09:48.000 It is after your bonus.

03:09:51.000 Did I accept that by clicking accept, you promise to abide by these terms and conditions?

03:09:55.000 But Jared Liz, you are wearing the new shirt.

03:09:57.000 I am wearing the new shirt that I'm going to draw my face in like right over here and protest.

03:10:03.000 It's okay.

03:10:04.000 It's alright.

03:10:05.000 It's a beautiful shirt.

03:10:07.000 No, no, that's okay.

03:10:08.000 It's a season of perpetual hope.

03:10:09.000 Season of perpetual hope?

03:10:11.000 So one of the things, I know we're talking about CNN, we kind of mentioned it just a second ago.

03:10:13.000 Oh my god, that's like Candy Crowley, just remove water. 0.99

03:10:16.000 This is not, this is... That's what I was saying, she's kind of like the junk Muppet lady in Labyrinth. 1.00

03:10:21.000 Your vegetable, you need your vegetable! 0.90

03:10:23.000 It is interesting.

03:10:26.000 What I was going to say is that the fair way to present this, what's going on right now, we shouldn't have had to look this up.

03:10:32.000 For the average viewer that doesn't have time to look this up, they have no idea what's going on, they're tuning out.

03:10:35.000 That's what bothers me.

03:10:36.000 We should hear, the United States is moving its embassy, right, that should be in some kind of scroll down here.

03:10:42.000 And instead it says Trump's decision on Jerusalem, not the American people's decision in 1995 that was voted on in Congress, right?

03:10:50.000 That's not what we're hearing, and the capital that we've given them already.

03:10:54.000 There should be more context, and it's very easy to do in a short period of time, and they're not doing it.

03:10:59.000 So the United States is just getting bashed in the UN, and that's all we're kind of hearing.

03:11:03.000 We're not hearing the other side of the story, which we should be able to do whatever the hell we want with our own embassy.

03:11:07.000 Well, what's just crazy to me is they were talking about how 9 million tiny Tims are going to die because of the CHIP program, you know, Child Health Care Initiative, and it's not true.

03:11:13.000 No, and somebody tweeted out a picture to me and a couple other people on the team that had like a pre-1950s photograph of a child dying from type 1 diabetes, and I was like, well, it's good that you had to go back to pre-1950s because no children will die like that, okay?

03:11:26.000 True.

03:11:27.000 You can go to an emergency room today and get whatever you need if your child is in that severe of a condition.

03:11:27.000 Not with this.

03:11:32.000 You're fine.

03:11:33.000 It's going to be taken care of, but scare tactics.

03:11:35.000 Hey, how many nose jobs do you think that lady in the middle has had? 1.00

03:11:39.000 It's a pretty good looking nose.

03:11:40.000 How many do you think the guy on the right has not had?

03:11:42.000 Ouch.

03:11:42.000 You're going to say this as a guy with a schnoz?

03:11:46.000 Look at the side profile on this, guys.

03:11:48.000 Get a side profile.

03:11:50.000 People can't see.

03:11:50.000 Switch.

03:11:52.000 Oh, for you.

03:11:53.000 For me, for me, for me.

03:11:55.000 Get a side profile on this schnoz.

03:11:56.000 Look at this.

03:11:57.000 There you go.

03:11:58.000 Here, I'll give you some.

03:11:59.000 No, that's just flesh color.

03:12:00.000 There's a lot of contrast.

03:12:01.000 There you go.

03:12:01.000 Hey, isn't this comfortable?

03:12:02.000 It is comfortable.

03:12:03.000 Do I have a way to recline?

03:12:05.000 There's a button on your left there.

03:12:05.000 Yeah, you do.

03:12:06.000 Just make sure you don't kick over any stands or anything in here.

03:12:10.000 It's on the side.

03:12:10.000 Where's the button?

03:12:11.000 It's on the right side.

03:12:13.000 And this is the part of the show where men try to figure out how to work really easy things in life.

03:12:19.000 It's all on this side of the... Alright, so... Oh, I can't see that because it's coming from my seat.

03:12:26.000 It's way over there, yeah.

03:12:29.000 Are you gonna- ooh, is it electric?

03:12:30.000 It's electric.

03:12:31.000 Oh.

03:12:32.000 What about my foot?

03:12:33.000 Work it.

03:12:33.000 You're good.

03:12:34.000 There's another button.

03:12:35.000 There's like ten buttons.

03:12:37.000 Use your buttons.

03:12:39.000 Oh, boy!

03:12:40.000 Look at that. 0.99

03:12:42.000 Hot damn, this is so much better. 0.99

03:12:44.000 That's nice. 0.99

03:12:45.000 There we go.

03:12:46.000 That's good stuff.

03:12:47.000 Yours works too.

03:12:48.000 Yeah, I'm not into that.

03:12:49.000 My wife would never allow me to have one like this. 0.99

03:12:51.000 So she got me, my wife got me that leather recliner in there.

03:12:54.000 Looks really nice, but it's for short people.

03:12:56.000 You've sat in it, it's like your calves are off of it and your head.

03:12:59.000 This is amazing.

03:13:01.000 You know, short people have it Pretty good in this country.

03:13:04.000 Do you think we could make the setup work if we ditch those and put this in here?

03:13:07.000 Do you think it would look just awful?

03:13:08.000 It would look so bad.

03:13:11.000 But it would be really comfortable.

03:13:12.000 All right, well, this is going to go in the office space and I'm going to have, for the morning pitches, this is going to be my thing.

03:13:18.000 That would be good.

03:13:20.000 Recline.

03:13:21.000 I don't know that I want to.

03:13:21.000 Use it.

03:13:21.000 Recline.

03:13:22.000 Do full recline.

03:13:23.000 Bring the legs up first. 1.00

03:13:24.000 It's not in my contract!

03:13:24.000 It's in your contract.

03:13:25.000 You didn't read it.

03:13:30.000 We updated this one.

03:13:31.000 Oh, oh, hold on.

03:13:32.000 What are you doing?

03:13:33.000 I'm trying to get it to... Yeah, that's the back.

03:13:35.000 That's the back.

03:13:36.000 There we go.

03:13:36.000 No, I got, like, four... There's four buttons, right?

03:13:36.000 Hold on.

03:13:38.000 So the first one is to recline your legs.

03:13:38.000 Yeah, there's four buttons.

03:13:40.000 Guys, tweet him at G. Morgan Jr. 1.00

03:13:41.000 so he learns how to recline his damn chair. 1.00

03:13:43.000 Shut it. 1.00

03:13:44.000 Shut it.

03:13:45.000 Okay, so that's the other button.

03:13:47.000 To recline your... Alright, you know what?

03:13:48.000 I'm bored with you.

03:13:49.000 Here we go.

03:13:50.000 Here we go.

03:13:51.000 I love this again, but Trump calling Dems want to shut down for the holidays.

03:13:54.000 No, it should read Democrats are going to shut down for the holidays.

03:13:57.000 Right.

03:13:58.000 Or like Trump said the Democrats would.

03:14:00.000 No, but they are though.

03:14:01.000 He's quoting a fact.

03:14:02.000 And by the way, here's the thing.

03:14:03.000 I'm actually not that against it.

03:14:05.000 Oh, there we go.

03:14:06.000 Joe, can you ring me the bell?

03:14:06.000 Hold on.

03:14:08.000 Well, my chair now.

03:14:09.000 I gotta figure out how to recline.

03:14:10.000 Who has joined Mug Club today? 0.56

03:14:12.000 Hashtag CrowderCNN livestream.

03:14:14.000 We will read it out loud.

03:14:15.000 Sven, bring up the Twitter and we will hit the bell every time someone lets us know that they've joined Mug Club.

03:14:21.000 It has to be confirmed.

03:14:22.000 It's confirmed!

03:14:24.000 Do you have a good online link to buy Walters from?

03:14:27.000 Recovering Millennial.

03:14:28.000 You know what?

03:14:29.000 Is there?

03:14:30.000 I don't think there's a specific one for us, no.

03:14:32.000 I don't know if there's not, not from us, but listen, if you are a fan of Walther sponsoring the show, you want that, you want this show to continue, you want more like the CNN livestream, just call Walther, let them know that you heard about them on this show.

03:14:43.000 Listen, we're not in it to make any, we don't make any more money if they sell more Walthers, right?

03:14:43.000 Yeah.

03:14:47.000 They're just helping to sponsor the show because it's, I truly believe, I mean, you have it, it's, it's, they're just, they're the best guns out there at the price point.

03:14:54.000 Their newest one, have you seen their newest one, the Creed?

03:14:56.000 So it's their low price point Walther.

03:14:56.000 I haven't seen that one.

03:14:58.000 Sorry, this is a commercial right now.

03:14:59.000 So we're kind of doing a commercial.

03:15:00.000 It's their low price point Walther.

03:15:02.000 So it's, uh, I think $3.50 if you get in the stores.

03:15:04.000 Yeah.

03:15:05.000 It'd be comparable to like a Glock 17.

03:15:07.000 And by the way, that's available in California.

03:15:08.000 A lot of the Walthers aren't.

03:15:09.000 They have a 10 round magazine.

03:15:11.000 Their new one, the Creed.

03:15:12.000 Just Google reviews, Walther Creed.

03:15:15.000 You will find nothing but glowing reviews.

03:15:16.000 As a matter of fact, some people are like, I don't know if I like the Creed better than the PPQ because it's so good.

03:15:21.000 It has a half cocked, uh, double single action trigger.

03:15:24.000 So it's not a strike or fire game.

03:15:26.000 It's basically kind of like, it's like a double single, except it's always half cocked.

03:15:29.000 So it effectively, it's a five pound trigger pull.

03:15:33.000 That's about the PPQ is about six.

03:15:35.000 So it is, but it has a metal wider trigger guard, kind of like you'd be used to more so with, um, you know, more traditional, like a SIG or something like that.

03:15:42.000 Yeah.

03:15:43.000 So, uh, even their lowest price one, the new Creed, if you, if you're looking, if it's out of your price range, cause Walther is going to be really high quality lifetime warranty, their Creed is their less expensive one.

03:15:51.000 It's around $300.

03:15:53.000 It is still the best.

03:15:54.000 They're good guns.

03:15:54.000 It's unbelievable.

03:15:55.000 They really are good guns.

03:15:57.000 We don't make any more money if they sell them.

03:15:59.000 So just let Walther know that you heard about them from us.

03:16:02.000 That's it.

03:16:03.000 We're not trying to sell you anything, but Walther firearms are amazing.

03:16:05.000 You're going to buy a gun by that one. 0.68

03:16:06.000 Everyone here, this whole studio, we all have Walthers.

03:16:08.000 We carry Walthers.

03:16:09.000 We have Walthers at home.

03:16:12.000 Everyone, we can't say enough good things about them. 0.98

03:16:13.000 I'd shoot Sven with Walthers. 1.00

03:16:14.000 I wouldn't shoot him with anything else. 0.98

03:16:15.000 Is CNN recovering?

03:16:16.000 Okay.

03:16:17.000 I will always remember the battle, the grand battle of S. Crowder and Gene Morgan Jr.

03:16:20.000 versus the recliner.

03:16:24.000 Someone said we're number four in trending, but I don't see us trending at all.

03:16:27.000 No?

03:16:27.000 No, I don't see us trending at all.

03:16:29.000 That's wrong.

03:16:30.000 Maybe it just needs to update.

03:16:31.000 You know what, maybe... Oh, I see us trending.

03:16:32.000 We moved down the trending list, guys.

03:16:33.000 It's okay for a little bit, because it's a boring hour here with what they're doing.

03:16:37.000 Their stuff is boring.

03:16:38.000 But tonight, we need you getting us to number one trend.

03:16:41.000 That's what we need you doing.

03:16:41.000 Oh, it'll happen.

03:16:42.000 This is just kind of like warming up.

03:16:43.000 Tonight gets wild and wooly.

03:16:44.000 I joined the mug... Okay, Sven, can you ring up the Twitter?

03:16:47.000 Yes.

03:16:48.000 All right.

03:16:49.000 Mike Samuel says, I joined Mug Club at 9.58am.

03:16:50.000 Hey! 0.99

03:16:50.000 Nice. 0.99

03:16:51.000 There you go. 0.99

03:16:53.000 Every time a Mug Clubber joins, Muhammad gets sexually accosted in hell. 1.00

03:16:59.000 It's going to be a long day for him.

03:17:02.000 You should have something special for existing subscribers that change to a three-year subscription.

03:17:06.000 Upsell Ahoy.

03:17:07.000 You know what?

03:17:07.000 Oh.

03:17:08.000 We don't, but that's not a bad idea.

03:17:09.000 People are like, do we get a mug every time?

03:17:11.000 You don't, because it's pretty expensive.

03:17:13.000 It's a good mug.

03:17:13.000 Yeah.

03:17:16.000 That's a good idea.

03:17:16.000 If you renew for three years, we'll make sure you get something special.

03:17:21.000 Maybe what we can do, Jared, is do actual handmade mugs by you and I, like Ghost Schwayze.

03:17:26.000 It's not a bit, but if people do it for three years, we do an actual handmade mug by us.

03:17:26.000 Oh, no.

03:17:31.000 Awesome.

03:17:31.000 These are pan-painted and hand-etched.

03:17:34.000 They're squishy and, like, feels good in your fingers.

03:17:38.000 Y'all are having a little bit of a homoerotic. 0.97

03:17:39.000 Maybe we'll sell handmade mugs that you make with Gerald.

03:17:41.000 No, no, no.

03:17:42.000 Again, not in the contract.

03:17:44.000 So these are hand-painted, hand-etched at lottoescutter.com slash mug club, but they're not hand-formed because we just don't, I mean, that's incredibly expensive.

03:17:51.000 It is, and difficult to do.

03:17:52.000 Tell us what you want to hear us talk about most here during the live stream.

03:17:55.000 We're kind of going based on what, but they just, it's so repetitive.

03:17:57.000 I can't believe cable news still exists.

03:17:59.000 How can you watch CNN anymore?

03:18:00.000 I think it's just people leaving it on in doctor's offices and hoping that people only watch it for two or three minutes at a time.

03:18:05.000 That makes it.

03:18:06.000 Airports, there we go.

03:18:07.000 Yeah, airports as well.

03:18:09.000 Everywhere you travel, you see it.

03:18:10.000 You're indoctrinated with it.

03:18:13.000 I guess trending is curated for people, because people are showing me right now it's number four on their trending list.

03:18:16.000 I kind of thought that too, because it was showing up on Edward's before it showed up on mine, and then it showed up on yours and mine, which is kind of weird.

03:18:16.000 Oh, that's good.

03:18:22.000 Yeah.

03:18:24.000 I don't know if it's curated, but I know there is a difference between where you have it set.

03:18:27.000 So it's like United States trends or world trends or some... If you had it set on your pornography trends, though, you're probably not going to see it there, right?

03:18:36.000 Yeah.

03:18:37.000 Well, I don't know.

03:18:38.000 Wait, what are we talking about now?

03:18:40.000 I don't know.

03:18:41.000 Oh, I thought we were still talking about mugs.

03:18:42.000 I guarantee you with history.

03:18:44.000 OK, so Steven S. Ellis said, I ought to renew my mug club, but I'd rather give you my money directing YouTube.

03:18:48.000 No, Mug Club doesn't go to YouTube at all.

03:18:49.000 Right.

03:18:50.000 So just so you know, our YouTube revenue has been cut by a quarter.

03:18:52.000 But Mud Club Revenue has significantly outpaced it.

03:18:55.000 That's why we don't have overlays of all the employees, do we?

03:18:57.000 We do not.

03:18:58.000 Okay, so in this room we have full-time, we have Not Gay Jared, Sound Guy Edwards, Fenn Computer, he's part-time, Gerald Morgan, myself obviously, we have Aaron the intern, we have Darren, Francine, Garrett is part-time, then we have Courtney Scoffs on the website, of course, we have Casey.

03:19:18.000 on the website.

03:19:19.000 We have Broadigan on the website.

03:19:20.000 We have Corey.

03:19:21.000 We have Nicole.

03:19:21.000 We have several people who are part-time, and all of this is because of Mug Club.

03:19:26.000 We have Reg. Reg. Reg. Reg is our super researcher.

03:19:29.000 Squat 630 pounds.

03:19:30.000 Reginald, I love you, brother.

03:19:31.000 He's been making this possible today since we had our whole system go out.

03:19:35.000 He's helping send us overlays, which we're getting to you.

03:19:38.000 It's an amazing team of people.

03:19:40.000 It really is.

03:19:41.000 They do a lot of work and it's the only way we can keep doing it.

03:19:45.000 We can't do it with YouTube revenue.

03:19:46.000 We can't do it with the Google revenue.

03:19:47.000 MugClub is the way.

03:19:48.000 But we've never created MugClub to take that away from you.

03:19:51.000 What we've done is use MugClub.

03:19:53.000 Use our partnership with CRTV to create more and better content and give it to you for free.

03:19:58.000 People who don't pay get more free content because my goal, you see, with Change My Mind is to go out and change people's minds.

03:20:03.000 And then the people who pay get more content.

03:20:05.000 You get a full-length daily show, the nightly show.

03:20:08.000 You get morning grinders.

03:20:09.000 You get Roman Millennial. 0.97

03:20:09.000 You get Gavin McGinnis. 0.97

03:20:10.000 So you don't have to join, but if you want us to be able to fight back and there's no one else who's going to be doing it, that's just, you know, $69 for the year.

03:20:19.000 That's what, seven bucks a month?

03:20:20.000 That's what it takes if you're a student, veteran, military, and we cannot thank you enough.

03:20:24.000 I'm up.

03:20:24.000 All right, that's it.

03:20:25.000 But yeah, any dollars to Mug Club, go directly to us.

03:20:28.000 That's fantastic.

03:20:29.000 So you're seeing another thing on CNN right now.

03:20:31.000 The Congress needs to reach a deal by midnight tomorrow.

03:20:35.000 Why do we wait to the last second every single time?

03:20:37.000 What do you mean they need to reach a deal?

03:20:39.000 Well, it's a spending deal, right?

03:20:40.000 You've got to pass the budget so that the government doesn't shut down, right?

03:20:43.000 And we always kind of seem to kind of walk all the way up to the edge of the cliff before we do it.

03:20:47.000 I find it funny how they bitch about the tax plan, and it's going to add $1.5 trillion over 10 years is what they're claiming, which, this is amazing, because 10 trillion in 8 years, that's barely outpacing inflation.

03:20:55.000 That's fantastic.

03:20:56.000 But now it's like, okay, when it comes to spending, they won't cut anything.

03:21:00.000 So the Democrats are like, how could you dare reduce taxes on people?

03:21:03.000 And it's like, okay, well, how about we cut some stuff?

03:21:04.000 No!

03:21:06.000 How about we drug test for people to get welfare checks? 1.00

03:21:10.000 You're a monster! 0.97

03:21:11.000 Or the whole work program where you have to go out and work. 0.99

03:21:14.000 You have to try to find a job.

03:21:15.000 You can sit on unemployment for a very, very long time right now. 0.98

03:21:18.000 Someone just said you look like a motherless goat. 0.98

03:21:21.000 Well, I'm the son of a motherless goat. 0.97

03:21:22.000 I think the reason is because you're wearing this.

03:21:24.000 You're the only one not in a Christmas cheer.

03:21:26.000 Look, man, I have Christmas cheer.

03:21:27.000 Look, when you come back later, dress in red and green. 1.00

03:21:29.000 Son of a bitch, dress in red and green. 1.00

03:21:31.000 How in the world? 1.00

03:21:32.000 Don't be such a prick, Gerald. 1.00

03:21:32.000 That's so insensitive. 1.00

03:21:34.000 I'm red and green colorblind, and you're telling me to dress in red and green?

03:21:36.000 It's unbelievable.

03:21:37.000 You have to dress in red and green too, sound guy.

03:21:38.000 Edward?

03:21:39.000 Yeah, see?

03:21:40.000 See, I'm not the only one.

03:21:40.000 Get a scarf or shawl, something.

03:21:42.000 Get a shawl.

03:21:42.000 Look at this guy.

03:21:43.000 At least he's fat and he's jolly. 1.00

03:21:44.000 Have some damn Christmas spirit. 1.00

03:21:46.000 I hate those glasses. 1.00

03:21:47.000 Those glasses scream affection.

03:21:52.000 Okay, hold on a second.

03:21:53.000 Hold on, someone just said, someone just said, Forrest Riley, Sven, can we bring this up as an overlay?

03:21:59.000 Forrest Riley, just looking at Twitter, you were top 10 US for me, but then you were bumped by the Great American Tax Heist.

03:22:04.000 So let's keep it going.

03:22:04.000 Thanks, CNN.

03:22:05.000 Hashtag crowd our CNN livestream.

03:22:07.000 Forrest Riley, and if you go to work, keep us going.

03:22:07.000 Boom.

03:22:09.000 Just put us on in the background, make it your radio show for the day.

03:22:12.000 Guests coming in and out nonstop, not to mention YouTube Carol.

03:22:12.000 Yeah.

03:22:14.000 Forrest Riley finally joined Mug Club for the CNN stream.

03:22:17.000 Give me your best gump joke I haven't heard.

03:22:19.000 What do you mean best gump joke?

03:22:20.000 Gump.

03:22:21.000 Gump?

03:22:22.000 Is that a genre of jokes? 0.99

03:22:26.000 Every time someone joins Mug Club, Muhammad is sexually accosted in hell. 0.88

03:22:32.000 I need to, you know what? 0.81

03:22:33.000 I think people should tweet and tell me that I look just fine.

03:22:36.000 I need some help here.

03:22:36.000 What are you talking about?

03:22:37.000 You guys are tiny.

03:22:38.000 You're on me.

03:22:38.000 Someone said, what are you talking about?

03:22:39.000 You guys are tiny.

03:22:40.000 I think people don't realize Gerald is 6'5".

03:22:43.000 Yeah, I'm a little taller.

03:22:44.000 Don't lie.

03:22:44.000 What are you, 240, 250?

03:22:45.000 245, and I'm about 6'2.5", 220.

03:22:45.000 245.

03:22:45.000 Yeah.

03:22:46.000 245.

03:22:47.000 And I'm about 6'2.5", 220.

03:22:49.000 Yeah.

03:22:51.000 When you already ate your discs, did you shorten?

03:22:51.000 Because after the...

03:22:53.000 No, I didn't.

03:22:55.000 I didn't end up having that kind of surgery.

03:22:56.000 Hold on a second.

03:22:58.000 Sean Davis, WTTV, says, just signed up for Mug Club from Sydney, Australia.

03:23:02.000 Merry Christmas to Chopper.

03:23:04.000 It's Hopper, but hey!

03:23:06.000 Chopper doesn't mind. 0.99

03:23:07.000 Every time someone joins Mug Club in Australia, Muhammad is raped by a kangaroo in hell. 1.00

03:23:15.000 That's even worse. 0.99

03:23:15.000 Oh my gosh, Hopper hates the bell. 0.99

03:23:17.000 He doesn't.

03:23:18.000 He looked up to you and he's like, dude, really?

03:23:20.000 We're still on some people's trending list?

03:23:20.000 Seriously?

03:23:22.000 Okay, hold on a second.

03:23:24.000 Someone said something not nice about you, but then there was something way worse about me.

03:23:27.000 No, no, no.

03:23:28.000 Let's hear it.

03:23:29.000 Someone said, ghost of Christmas past, feminine floaty Ben Shapiro.

03:23:29.000 Hold on.

03:23:32.000 We have to get to this second – we have to get to the second – Michael Carroll.

03:23:38.000 Republicans heap praise on Trump for tax bill success.

03:23:38.000 Okay, hold on a second.

03:23:41.000 You know what?

03:23:41.000 Hey, listen.

03:23:42.000 Hey, here we go.

03:23:43.000 Everyone give him a clap for Donald Trump.

03:23:44.000 He hasn't done much this year.

03:23:46.000 This is a good one.

03:23:46.000 This tax bill is a good one.

03:23:48.000 I would have liked to see the LLC, the stuff, the passive versus active income.

03:23:53.000 This is a good one for him.

03:23:54.000 Okay, right now we are going to go to segment number two, two of five of the tale of Ebenezer YouTube ghost of past, present, and future, teaching him of his covetous, censoring, throttling ways.

03:24:06.000 Segment two here, I believe that we see Ebenezer YouTube, who just was met by the ghost of Clint Howard slash Susan Wojcicki, is awoken, awakened from his slumber, ghost of Christmas past, so we get to look on YouTube Passed.

03:24:21.000 Enjoy.

03:24:23.000 Susan was Jizki's ghost that bothered Ebenezer YouTube exceedingly.

03:24:30.000 It was a restless night, and upon resolving that he could no more find sleep than go to heaven, the clock broke upon his listening ear.

03:24:39.000 Oh, Holy Spirit, whose coming was foretold.

03:24:54.000 I am.

03:24:55.000 But you're just a girl. 0.86

03:24:57.000 Oh, you're so sweet.

03:24:59.000 I can remember more than 15 years.

03:25:01.000 I'm the ghost of you two past.

03:25:02.000 What business have you here then?

03:25:04.000 Your welfare. 1.00

03:25:05.000 And to help you stop being a dick. 1.00

03:25:07.000 So take heed. 1.00

03:25:08.000 Come.

03:25:09.000 But spirit, I am mortal.

03:25:12.000 Am I about to fall?

03:25:13.000 A touch of my hand and you can fall as well.

03:25:13.000 Don't worry.

03:25:16.000 A touch of your hand?

03:25:17.000 Well, for safety's sake.

03:25:19.000 Cheers to that!

03:25:28.000 Cheers!

03:25:29.000 What are we, Spirit?

03:25:30.000 We are back to 2005.

03:25:31.000 The launch of YouTube.

03:25:34.000 Oh yes, Spirit.

03:25:37.000 I was a boy here.

03:25:38.000 A young man.

03:25:39.000 Everyone was having a great time.

03:25:39.000 Indeed.

03:25:41.000 It didn't suck yet.

03:25:42.000 Oh yes, Spirit.

03:25:43.000 This was a joyous place.

03:25:45.000 There are my first partners.

03:25:47.000 Chad Hurley and Steve Chan.

03:25:52.000 Oh, there's another cat video!

03:25:54.000 I think there may be too many now.

03:25:56.000 Too many?

03:25:57.000 There can never be too many!

03:25:59.000 Everything's allowed on the platform or it doesn't work!

03:26:01.000 It's free and open!

03:26:03.000 Cheers to that!

03:26:08.000 Free and open Hamburg. 0.82

03:26:10.000 How foolish we were, Spirit, if we had any idea back then what we know now.

03:26:15.000 These are merely shadows of the past. 0.97

03:26:17.000 They can't hear you. 0.83

03:26:18.000 I see no fools before me.

03:26:20.000 Only men who wanted a free and open platform. 0.84

03:26:22.000 Besides, you were already bigger than Myspace.

03:26:25.000 Myspace created their own downfall when they became a safe haven for pedophiles.

03:26:30.000 If I'd have known back then what I know now, these people wouldn't have a job.

03:26:34.000 Posting all these problematic videos.

03:26:37.000 It's a miracle we didn't go belly up!

03:26:39.000 Don't you see?

03:26:40.000 This is the environment that made YouTube what it is.

03:26:42.000 The freedom of it.

03:26:43.000 The fairness.

03:26:44.000 Hits.

03:26:45.000 Comments.

03:26:45.000 Likes.

03:26:46.000 These were the things that made YouTube great and pushed the best people to the top.

03:26:49.000 It was a meritocracy.

03:26:51.000 Let me show you something.

03:26:57.000 That's Sound Guy Cricket's place.

03:26:59.000 And his, uh, his board.

03:27:00.000 Tiny, um... Tiny, uh...

03:27:05.000 Tiny Knock AJ.

03:27:06.000 Tiny Knock AJ.

03:27:07.000 That's it.

03:27:09.000 I had it at the tip of the tongue.

03:27:12.000 YouTube inspired this boy.

03:27:14.000 If not for your platform, he'd still be a homeschool child with nothing more than Warren McGee and me videotapes.

03:27:20.000 Instead, he learned how to livestream his video games.

03:27:23.000 With your platform, he's been able to get billions of views and support the whole Cratchit family.

03:27:29.000 I did not know the Cratchits were in such need, Spirit.

03:27:33.000 A remarkable lad.

03:27:34.000 And a gross violation of child labor law.

03:27:36.000 What's going to say?

03:27:37.000 Hey! 0.99

03:27:39.000 Oh, father!

03:27:42.000 Father, I'm so glad you're home.

03:27:44.000 You worked so hard for such long hours.

03:27:47.000 Oh, little one, you shouldn't worry about that.

03:27:51.000 You just get your rest and take your meds.

03:27:53.000 But father, I have over one million subscribers on YouTube.

03:27:57.000 And YouTube says as the partnership program grows, it'll pay more and more as bigger sponsors come in.

03:28:03.000 You won't have to work for Ebeneezer at all!

03:28:06.000 Oh, Tiny Not Gay Jared! 0.94

03:28:08.000 You're such a dreamer! 0.83

03:28:10.000 You should be teaching us all!

03:28:12.000 Oh, Father!

03:28:18.000 There was another Christmas.

03:28:21.000 Oh, remember Spirit?

03:28:23.000 Please, do not show me that Christmas.

03:28:29.000 This is Ebeneezer YouTube's viral video compilation.

03:28:33.000 2000. History of dance.

03:28:33.000 2008.

03:28:38.000 Charlie bit my finger.

03:28:44.000 I am.

03:28:45.000 The best of gravity.

03:28:54.000 Tap.

03:28:55.000 Fall down the stairs.

03:28:59.000 Oh, please, Brian.

03:29:00.000 Maya, hey! 1.00

03:29:03.000 My heart!

03:29:04.000 Baby, eat the lemon.

03:29:11.000 Friday!

03:29:12.000 Friday!

03:29:13.000 I call you Kale on Friday. 0.97

03:29:16.000 I'm back.

03:29:38.000 O spirit, why do you delight in tormenting me?

03:29:40.000 These are the shadows of things that have been.

03:29:43.000 They are what they are, do not worry.

03:29:45.000 Leave me! 1.00

03:29:50.000 Just as quickly as it appeared, the spirit faded from view, and Ebenezer U2 found himself once again in his chambers.

03:30:00.000 Unsettled and unrested.

03:30:03.000 Awaiting more apparitions to come.

03:30:07.000 Here we go.

03:30:08.000 Oh, yeah.

03:30:10.000 Oh, God.

03:30:10.000 Oh, hello!

03:30:11.000 Nobody wants to see that.

03:30:12.000 Oh, hello there!

03:30:14.000 Oh, geez. 1.00

03:30:15.000 Is that your name on your butt? 1.00

03:30:16.000 Do you have your name? 1.00

03:30:17.000 I do, I have my name emblazoned. 1.00

03:30:18.000 Your name is on your ass! 1.00

03:30:19.000 On your butt? 1.00

03:30:20.000 I did it actually for the Covenant Church Christmas show. 0.99

03:30:22.000 Remember that?

03:30:23.000 Yes.

03:30:25.000 Oh, those were the days.

03:30:27.000 Hey, is Jared's name?

03:30:28.000 Is it?

03:30:28.000 No.

03:30:29.000 No. 0.97

03:30:30.000 Can you put... That's like the most concave arse I've ever seen. 0.99

03:30:34.000 Hey, this is a beautiful arse. 1.00

03:30:36.000 You don't even know. 1.00

03:30:37.000 Oh my gosh.

03:30:38.000 I've gotten some positive reinforcement from people that say I look just fine without a onesie.

03:30:41.000 Thank you very much.

03:30:43.000 All right.

03:30:43.000 Well, that was, by the way, that's the least, I would say, elaborate of the segments, probably.

03:30:49.000 Yeah, I think so.

03:30:50.000 They get more and more elaborate as we go.

03:30:51.000 That's fantastic, though.

03:30:52.000 So, Blair White, actually.

03:30:53.000 Blair White, thank you so much.

03:30:54.000 B-dubs. 1.00

03:30:54.000 Atmis Blair White, thank you for doing that. 1.00

03:30:56.000 Great job.

03:30:57.000 Yes.

03:30:57.000 Very nice.

03:30:58.000 Very nice.

03:31:00.000 Hey, Prediction, what do you think happens with Ebeneezer YouTube?

03:31:03.000 The person who gets it right gets a free shirt.

03:31:04.000 By the way, at Courtney Scoffs is going to be the one following you, following up for any free merch that's given out.

03:31:10.000 We already had the one who's going to get the free shirt.

03:31:12.000 Call it.

03:31:12.000 Nice.

03:31:13.000 What do you think happens with Ebeneezer YouTube?

03:31:14.000 Tweet us and use the hashtag at CrowderCNNLiveStream and we'll get you some free swag if you get it.

03:31:20.000 Let's see.

03:31:21.000 Let's go to Twitter and see.

03:31:22.000 What do you think happens to Ebeneezer YouTube?

03:31:23.000 It's still a commercial on CNN.

03:31:24.000 Yeah. 1.00

03:31:24.000 Stupid commercials. 1.00

03:31:25.000 Who's our next guest, by the way? 1.00

03:31:28.000 Okay, 11 o'clock, so in half an hour we'll have Stefan Molyneux.

03:31:31.000 Very nice.

03:31:32.000 Well, that's going to be fun.

03:31:33.000 That'll be fun.

03:31:34.000 Not really.

03:31:35.000 I mean, it'll be fun to have Stefan Molyneux, but not this.

03:31:35.000 I can't say the same line.

03:31:38.000 Right, yeah.

03:31:39.000 will still be— Okay, it's still talking about the Jews.

03:31:39.000 Haley, U.S.

03:31:42.000 All right, let's see.

03:31:43.000 Or using international coalition.

03:31:45.000 Great, now he's twerking. 1.00

03:31:47.000 I would rather drag my dick through a mild broken glass than watch six hours of CNN straight. 1.00

03:31:50.000 Praise be to Mug Club. 0.99

03:31:52.000 Thank you very much.

03:31:52.000 There we go.

03:31:54.000 Thank you very much.

03:31:55.000 Looks like S. Crowder is channeling Michael Caine on YouTube.

03:32:00.000 Probably there's some of that.

03:32:00.000 I mean, it's a Cockney accent.

03:32:02.000 After a year of listening to S. Crowder finally whining, I've finally joined LWC Mug Club during hashtag Crowder CNN livestream.

03:32:11.000 That's George Washington, Gdubs underscore 59.

03:32:15.000 Thank you so much!

03:32:17.000 Every time you join Mug Club, Mohamed gets an unwanted handy in hell. 0.87

03:32:21.000 So, we, um, keep it trending.

03:32:24.000 Hashtag CrowderCNN livestream.

03:32:25.000 We want to gain thousands of Mug Club subscribers just so we can do more of this, so we can do more undercover Antifa, so we can do more Change My Minds. 0.53

03:32:33.000 One thing, and I would love it if you do, this is just a moment of sincerity here.

03:32:36.000 Tweet me at AskCrowder, use the hashtag, For people who've joined the Mug Club, do you feel like you've gotten your money's worth? 0.68

03:32:43.000 We've tried really hard.

03:32:44.000 Jared knows this.

03:32:45.000 Not that Jared knows this.

03:32:46.000 He knows that we've been working ourselves to the bone.

03:32:49.000 We've tried really hard to make sure you got your money's worth.

03:32:51.000 We've tried really hard to not be those guys who take your money for a pay subscription service.

03:32:56.000 And then it's the same thing.

03:32:57.000 Yeah.

03:32:57.000 And so what we've tried to do is we've tried to upgrade the studio.

03:33:00.000 We've tried to increase the quality of content.

03:33:03.000 We've tried to increase the influence, you know, the stings that we've done.

03:33:06.000 Undercover Antifa, that had 14 million plays.

03:33:09.000 Changed my mind itself.

03:33:09.000 Wow.

03:33:10.000 Can you imagine trying to do Antifa video when it's just you and I in the bedroom?

03:33:14.000 Imagine trying to do it when it was just you and I. We would have never been able to do... The person was arrested.

03:33:17.000 We would have never been able to do Undercover Antifa.

03:33:19.000 We would have never been able to do Change My Mind where we go down on the street.

03:33:22.000 So what we really have tried to do is take Mug Club and grow and give you guys your money.

03:33:27.000 And invest it in it.

03:33:28.000 And we've never taken away from you two.

03:33:30.000 No.

03:33:30.000 YouTube is where we... This is why we're here.

03:33:32.000 We're here to stay.

03:33:32.000 We love the people on YouTube who've made it happen.

03:33:34.000 We know some of you can't afford to support us, but genuinely, do you feel you've gotten your money's worth?

03:33:40.000 And tweet me, at S. Crowder, maybe at NotGayJared, with hashtag CrowderCNN livestream, what you would like to see.

03:33:46.000 You know, you're the investors in Mug Club.

03:33:47.000 You're effectively the equity shareholders.

03:33:49.000 If you go away, so does all of this.

03:33:52.000 We can't do it without you.

03:33:54.000 Do you feel like you've gotten your money's worth?

03:33:56.000 What can we change?

03:33:56.000 And what can we add?

03:33:57.000 Let's go to Twitter here.

03:33:59.000 Wow.

03:33:59.000 You have a lot more Twitter stuff going on than I usually do.

03:34:01.000 You've 100- Thank you, Colano says you 100% delivered money well spent.

03:34:05.000 There we go.

03:34:06.000 I think you're gonna see a lot of that.

03:34:07.000 I think you deliver a lot of content for the money.

03:34:09.000 And you know, you know, you get a lot of other stuff too from the other people.

03:34:12.000 Uh-oh! 0.94

03:34:13.000 Look at this!

03:34:13.000 Get us a long shot!

03:34:14.000 Look at Hopper!

03:34:15.000 Look at Hopper with the Christmas lights! 0.98

03:34:17.000 Hopper, the white supremacist reindeer! 0.98

03:34:21.000 Watch, people are going to say Stephen has a white supremacist dog. 0.99

03:34:23.000 He does. 0.99

03:34:24.000 He's so white. 0.98

03:34:25.000 True to the oldie, black elf. 1.00

03:34:27.000 Netanyahu rejects vote, calls UN a house of lies. 0.99

03:34:29.000 The only thing that could have been better is if Netanyahu gently rested his balls on their face. 0.97

03:34:37.000 Netanyahu said, let me tell you how Israel feels about UN. 0.99

03:34:42.000 This dog is like the most lovable dog in the world.

03:34:44.000 Look at this.

03:34:44.000 Look at Hopper.

03:34:45.000 He'll kill people if they try to break in. 1.00

03:34:45.000 Look at him. 1.00

03:34:47.000 He's got his light up.

03:34:50.000 Hopper's the best dog there is.

03:34:51.000 Hopper's also much bigger than that camera.

03:34:54.000 I'm a large individual and he's pretty large even compared to me.

03:34:54.000 No, yeah.

03:34:57.000 Everything is skewed.

03:34:57.000 Do you realize that?

03:34:58.000 Because we're all so big.

03:34:59.000 It's true.

03:35:00.000 You don't understand.

03:35:01.000 We need like some kind of...

03:35:04.000 thing in the background like it's 7-eleven that tells the height or something like that someone said watching every day youtube dies because mug club provides that's what they think about uh trending number eight um maybe not ask you to guess the ending with 12 hours to go someone said scrooge gets throttled and then jihadi bond comes in and beats the ghost of christmas past this is from luke birds with the line of the day keep going to sven's uh just his youtube stream Sven, you can bring up some of the best tweets, and you can even tell me what tweets you think are really good, okay?

03:35:31.000 Because I'm going here, and we were originally able to, me, send you my screen.

03:35:36.000 Technical difficulties were rolling on the fly, and Sven Computer is helping us, and Reg, and the team is helping to make it happen.

03:35:42.000 Someone just said you're at number three right now.

03:35:44.000 That's pretty good.

03:35:45.000 I don't think we are, though.

03:35:47.000 I need to move my phone, Hopper.

03:35:49.000 See, I'm not on my trend anywhere, so I don't know, but I think maybe people have it set to you.

03:35:53.000 I have it set to world.

03:35:54.000 That's probably why.

03:35:56.000 Alana Workman says, I definitely feel like I've gotten... Sorry, people, we're just... It's a commercial on there, so it's commercial to us.

03:36:01.000 I definitely feel I've gotten more than my money's worth I watch every day, and you love the addition of the Change My Mind segments.

03:36:08.000 Thank you so much.

03:36:09.000 Money well spent from Varick Bridges.

03:36:11.000 Thank you, guys.

03:36:12.000 I joined Mug Club when DailyWits first started, and all I got was some lousy mug.

03:36:17.000 I'm set to stay trends and number 10 still.

03:36:20.000 Still in the top trends.

03:36:21.000 There you go.

03:36:22.000 Maybe they have a US trends.

03:36:23.000 I don't know.

03:36:24.000 It's curated based on people have different trends.

03:36:26.000 It's kind of different, right?

03:36:27.000 Don't worry.

03:36:27.000 Yeah.

03:36:28.000 Tonight is prime time.

03:36:29.000 That's when it gets, unless there's a terrorist attack, in which case that'll become the number one trend and CNN will say, there's nothing to see here.

03:36:34.000 So, uh, I don't know what the person did it for.

03:36:37.000 Jason Lisenby says, I say Ebenezer buys into Mug Club.

03:36:40.000 Is that what you think happens?

03:36:41.000 Ooh, that's a good plot twist.

03:36:44.000 Let's see.

03:36:45.000 We better get that three-year renewal gift announcement.

03:36:47.000 I didn't even know there was a three-year renewal.

03:36:49.000 Here's what I know.

03:36:50.000 If we do offer a three-year renewal, it will come with a very serious gift.

03:36:55.000 I don't know what it'll be.

03:36:56.000 But for people who want to do a three-year renewal, thank you so much for your faith in us.

03:37:00.000 If we do that, maybe it could be an autographed shirt, maybe it could be a handmade mug.

03:37:04.000 It could be a nude of I'm not gay Jared.

03:37:07.000 It could be a nude, I'm not gay Jared.

03:37:09.000 But we'll do something really cool for three-year renewals.

03:37:12.000 I can't believe we didn't think of that.

03:37:13.000 Maybe some hand-drawn Mohammed pictures. 1.00

03:37:17.000 I'm overwhelmed that people want to join for three years.

03:37:17.000 Maybe.

03:37:21.000 Thank you so much for having the faith in us and the whole team.

03:37:26.000 At Sven Computer is his Twitter.

03:37:27.000 At Sven Computer, beep beep.

03:37:29.000 We actually got someone who even sent us a purchase confirmation from CRTV, if you want to bring that up.

03:37:33.000 Alright, let me see it.

03:37:34.000 Purchase confirmation, here we go!

03:37:40.000 Every time someone joins Mug Club, Blitzer makes a visit to hell to ask Mohamed what he should say that night in the show.

03:37:47.000 Well, by the end of 16 hours, these words, they're not even analogies.

03:37:52.000 Just mental pictures are going to be wildly inane.

03:37:58.000 Now I understand why Eskrider hasn't done a shout out for me in my BF. 0.76

03:38:01.000 It's because I'm Latina and he is a white supremacist at the Scarlet Fox.

03:38:04.000 No, thank you so much, Scarlet Fox.

03:38:06.000 Trending 12 here in Canada.

03:38:07.000 Did you get the thing?

03:38:08.000 Can we run the video that Darren sent you?

03:38:11.000 There was a video run in Vermont about us and our tranny Sting.

03:38:15.000 Can you get it?

03:38:16.000 Because apparently they said we removed the video.

03:38:16.000 I'll find it.

03:38:19.000 And I don't think we did remove the video.

03:38:21.000 No.

03:38:21.000 You wouldn't do that.

03:38:22.000 I don't think it's been removed.

03:38:24.000 A McGee and me reference.

03:38:26.000 Crowder's CNN livestream has just won today.

03:38:28.000 Thank you so much.

03:38:30.000 The money is well worth it.

03:38:31.000 I don't know how I haven't been yelled at yet.

03:38:31.000 Watching in school.

03:38:35.000 Grade 11, by the way.

03:38:36.000 That's awesome.

03:38:37.000 You must be Canadian. 1.00

03:38:38.000 If you say grade 11, what do you Americans say?

03:38:40.000 11th grade, yeah.

03:38:40.000 11th grade.

03:38:41.000 Or junior.

03:38:43.000 That's a Canadian thing.

03:38:44.000 So we probably, in the future, should probably just do... So this person has us at number two.

03:38:44.000 Yeah.

03:38:49.000 Number two is good.

03:38:50.000 So it must be depending on state.

03:38:53.000 What's number one?

03:38:54.000 Number one is winter solstice, we were number two, and then uranium one's number three, and CNN's not talking about any of them!

03:39:01.000 It's because they're on top of it.

03:39:02.000 Well maybe the winter solstice.

03:39:04.000 It's Christmas.

03:39:06.000 Because you know in the ratings room, CNN, Jeff Zucker is singing, don't let the sun go down on... and it went down.

03:39:13.000 It already went down.

03:39:14.000 We're dead.

03:39:14.000 It's done.

03:39:15.000 We're done.

03:39:16.000 Yes, at Sven Computer.

03:39:18.000 Another confirmation here if you want to bring it up.

03:39:19.000 Another confirmation.

03:39:20.000 Thank you so much for joining Mug Club.

03:39:22.000 Another Purpose Responders.

03:39:23.000 Thank you so much. 0.99

03:39:25.000 Every time someone joins Mug Club, Mohammed in hell gets raped. 0.99

03:39:29.000 That's just the most blatant one. 0.99

03:39:30.000 And then the other ones will... Here's what... I know people are saying, you joke a lot.

03:39:35.000 But it's not a joke. 0.98

03:39:36.000 I think Mohammed is in hell. 0.99

03:39:38.000 Oh no, he is definitely in hell. 0.99

03:39:40.000 There's absolutely no question about it.

03:39:42.000 Hey, I'm just, I mean, it's not my fault.

03:39:45.000 You got a problem, take it up with God.

03:39:46.000 It's not me.

03:39:47.000 Subscription boy.

03:39:47.000 Another one.

03:39:48.000 Howdy.

03:39:49.000 This is thanks for the student discount for today.

03:39:51.000 Hey, there we go.

03:39:52.000 Thank you so much, Pepper.

03:39:52.000 Pepper.

03:39:53.000 We have too many coming in right now.

03:39:55.000 So if it's intermittent, pick your joining wisely.

03:39:57.000 We can't make a whole show about you joining, but we very much appreciate it.

03:39:59.000 Okay, let's bring up some CNN.

03:40:01.000 Oh, they're talking about don't fire Robert Mueller.

03:40:04.000 Okay, more Russia. 0.77

03:40:07.000 Is it me, or did Donald Trump not say yesterday that he wasn't firing Mueller?

03:40:13.000 A part of me wonders as I keep saying this, because I know Donald Trump, the reverse psychology works, would like, don't fire Mueller.

03:40:17.000 He's like, I'm not gonna fire Mueller.

03:40:19.000 Like, don't fire Mueller.

03:40:20.000 I already told you I'm not gonna fire Mueller.

03:40:21.000 Like, don't fire Mueller.

03:40:22.000 You know what?

03:40:23.000 I'm gonna fire him.

03:40:25.000 Do you think that's what they're trying to do a little bit?

03:40:26.000 Maybe a little bit.

03:40:27.000 They're going to try to back him into a corner a little bit on it.

03:40:29.000 Maybe he wants to fire Mueller, and they know, and they're going out just trying to see if they can get ahead of it.

03:40:34.000 I'm trying to see here.

03:40:36.000 So when they actually do do it.

03:40:37.000 Hold on a second.

03:40:38.000 What is this with the Mueller deal?

03:40:39.000 There's no—I mean, yeah.

03:40:42.000 Exactly.

03:40:43.000 He said... You know why they're bringing that up?

03:40:45.000 So that you can put on the screen, Russian investigation.

03:40:48.000 I have it from Washington Post.

03:40:49.000 Yeah, but it's so you can put on the screen, Russian investigation in Trump.

03:40:52.000 You want to have that every single time.

03:40:53.000 Good point.

03:40:55.000 Guys, I'm not gonna lie, I'm tired.

03:40:57.000 You gotta take a break.

03:40:58.000 I can't!

03:40:59.000 I can take five minutes break.

03:41:00.000 I think we should keep going.

03:41:00.000 I think so!

03:41:01.000 I'm gonna keep going.

03:41:01.000 No, no, no, no.

03:41:02.000 I'm gonna keep going through and then for lunch maybe someone else can help.

03:41:05.000 Who do you want to fill in and host while I'm gone? 0.97

03:41:07.000 Tweet me at S Crowder with Crowder.

03:41:08.000 Hashtag Crowder CNN livestream.

03:41:10.000 Because I'm not gonna lie, 60 hours is long.

03:41:12.000 Not in a onesie.

03:41:15.000 I think I miscalculated my level of energy.

03:41:17.000 I think anybody, I mean, you're having to watch like a soul-sucking channel.

03:41:22.000 Well, also with the lights, it's kind of hard.

03:41:24.000 Well, yeah, you need to take a break every once in a while.

03:41:25.000 I don't need a break now.

03:41:26.000 Every once in a while. 0.94

03:41:27.000 Don't you be a martyr.

03:41:27.000 Don't be a martyr.

03:41:29.000 Don't you do it, Steven! 1.00

03:41:31.000 By the way, for people who are like, hey, you called him a pussy, are you a Christian? 0.98

03:41:35.000 Let me just take this time here to say thank you to our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ for A, keeping us alive and providing us for the opportunity and the birth of Not the birth of the United States, but being born in the United States and we're able to do this. 0.98

03:41:51.000 Christian, thank you, Jesus.

03:41:53.000 Happy birthday, baby Jesus, even though that's probably not when you were born, but it's when they celebrated the winter solstice.

03:41:57.000 Who cares?

03:41:57.000 I get it.

03:41:58.000 Secular trees, Christmas, whatever.

03:41:59.000 We took the holiday back.

03:42:00.000 Yep.

03:42:01.000 Christian, thank you.

03:42:01.000 And if you're an atheist, thank you so much for being with us.

03:42:03.000 And we don't care.

03:42:04.000 Sven Computer is an agnostic.

03:42:06.000 He just got his first Bible not that long ago.

03:42:08.000 That's true.

03:42:08.000 Whether he wanted it or not.

03:42:10.000 Thank you so much.

03:42:11.000 But do not use us as examples.

03:42:13.000 Just like, don't look to Muslims as examples for Islam, look to Muhammad. 0.96

03:42:17.000 Don't look to us, because we make mistakes, look to Christ.

03:42:20.000 He's the example. 1.00

03:42:22.000 Not me when I say Muhammad's getting raped in hell. 0.98

03:42:25.000 Honestly, I don't know how bad Jesus would be about that. 0.99

03:42:27.000 You're accurate.

03:42:28.000 I don't know about the rape.

03:42:30.000 Well, everything else is true.

03:42:31.000 Yes, at Sven Computer.

03:42:33.000 I was actually just about to bring it up.

03:42:36.000 Someone just said that on Twitter.

03:42:38.000 You're joining my club around 10.15. 0.99

03:42:39.000 I heard when you join, an unsaid person gets raped by Bob Hicks' foot in hell. 0.64

03:42:44.000 And also, two other people joined. 0.99

03:42:46.000 All right, two people joined.

03:42:47.000 Give us their names, Sven.

03:42:49.000 Aaron Bauer and D. Krotzkiet.

03:42:54.000 Thank you so much.

03:42:55.000 Every time you join, Is Yasser Arafat dead?

03:43:00.000 Yes.

03:43:01.000 Yeah, I believe so.

03:43:02.000 Every time you join, Yasser Arafat gets a pineapple jammed up his lower intestine.

03:43:10.000 Do you think Mohammed's like, huh, this is a busier day than normal? 1.00

03:43:14.000 Why don't you take the reins for one second?

03:43:15.000 I have to answer.

03:43:16.000 This is not YouTube, so we can't pull in the video.

03:43:19.000 Okay.

03:43:19.000 But, Edward, can you pull down CNN for a second and bring up the Bumps track?

03:43:24.000 Let's play the audio from this.

03:43:26.000 This comes from...

03:43:28.000 WCAX Channel 3, it looks like an NBC affiliate, about our video in Burlington, Vermont.

03:43:34.000 So this is the audio on this.

03:43:35.000 Perfect.

03:43:39.000 During a private support group health care meeting in October, the Vermont Pride Center got some unwanted and unknown guests.

03:43:39.000 I can't hear it.

03:43:47.000 So we were just trying to help them, not realizing that at the same time they had a whole new agenda that we hadn't experienced before.

03:43:55.000 Right-wing activist Stephen Crowder runs a website and podcast.

03:43:59.000 He and three people associated with him pose as a family from Montreal trying to get more information on health care for their trans son.

03:44:08.000 They filmed the entire meeting with hidden cameras.

03:44:11.000 Asking questions about getting free health care.

03:44:13.000 To have folks outside of the community, let alone coming in with malnutrition, to expose this conspiracy of trans folks really trying to access services, is absolutely absurd. 0.78

03:44:26.000 The meeting happened months ago, but the video was just recently discovered.

03:44:31.000 Now the Pride Center and its members say they are ready to move forward.

03:44:38.000 IT WAS A TOWN HALL!

03:44:42.000 OFEN'S IN A TOWN HALL!

03:44:43.000 Hey, Ben, go to the research docs and bring up the Facebook event, or Reg, if you can text it to me, their Facebook event, it was the trans town hall, what the hell, Ken?

03:44:55.000 Bring it up for us, okay?

03:44:57.000 Bring it up for us, let us know when you have it. 0.98

03:44:58.000 These transgender people are complaining. 1.00

03:45:01.000 It was a public town hall in Vermont, which is also a single-party consent state. 0.87

03:45:06.000 They're just mad that people are catching them.

03:45:09.000 Well, and they didn't even address any of the problems that you exposed.

03:45:13.000 They're just pissed that somebody came in and exposed it.

03:45:16.000 It's like, oh, this is a breach of privacy.

03:45:20.000 The sign was not there.

03:45:22.000 No, it has been since added.

03:45:24.000 By the way, by the way, if it's a public town hall, you cannot say no recording.

03:45:29.000 Right.

03:45:30.000 Sorry, guys.

03:45:30.000 Doesn't matter.

03:45:31.000 Just like if you're in a state that's a single party consent state, you can't say, hey, you're not allowed to record this phone call.

03:45:36.000 They can record the phone call.

03:45:37.000 If you show up to a public protest and say, hey, you can't record me, guess what?

03:45:37.000 Yeah.

03:45:40.000 They can record you.

03:45:41.000 Well, and isn't it funny that every single time that something comes out of recording or anything else, they never address the issue.

03:45:45.000 Hold on one second.

03:45:46.000 Let's bring up CNN because they're speaking right now on the tax cut bill.

03:45:46.000 Hold that.

03:45:49.000 Let's bring this up.

03:45:50.000 Hold that thought.

03:45:51.000 With a minimal footprint, something that Alaskans have been fighting for for 38 years.

03:45:57.000 You don't give up on something when the cause is right, when you know you have so much to contribute.

03:46:05.000 So to colleagues who have stood with us as the Alaska delegation, with those who have stood with Alaska, with those who have stood for American energy production, Today is indeed a bright, bright day.

03:46:20.000 We thank you for your continued support.

03:46:22.000 Alaska will make you proud.

03:46:24.000 Yeah, sorry, people can hear Gerald.

03:46:25.000 He's like, ah, I'm leaving.

03:46:26.000 Yeah, it's fine.

03:46:27.000 You're not expected to stay here.

03:46:28.000 Thank you, though.

03:46:29.000 All right.

03:46:32.000 For my two fans, they'll know.

03:46:34.000 Hey, can I search our research document in the document, or do I just have to search?

03:46:40.000 I think you search it in the document.

03:46:41.000 There's a little spot at the very top.

03:46:43.000 It doesn't show up for me.

03:46:44.000 It's loading.

03:46:45.000 The dots on the top, maybe?

03:46:45.000 Oh, it's loading.

03:46:46.000 All right.

03:46:47.000 You have the trans town.

03:46:47.000 You got it, Sven.

03:46:48.000 Sven, can you come here?

03:46:49.000 dots on the top maybe for brightness in our public life if you think about the impact all right do you got it sven you have the trans town what the hall yeah how do i uh sven can you come here spend the computer that means you're having all right i'm gonna make the point that i was gonna Every single time one of these things come out, like the Hillary Clinton stuff, all the emails and stuff like that that come out about the document dumps that we've had, right?

03:47:12.000 Nobody talks about, you're just pissed off because somebody found out you were doing something wrong or something stupid or something people wouldn't support.

03:47:20.000 All you do is say, well, you invaded our privacy or you did it the wrong way to find it. 0.67

03:47:24.000 And if something comes out on Republicans every single time, it focuses on the issue and not the way people got the documents.

03:47:24.000 How is that the thing?

03:47:31.000 I don't understand how this is even a thing still.

03:47:34.000 How does that defense still work? 0.99

03:47:35.000 Like, how stupid are people for them to go, yeah, you're right, they shouldn't have been recording. 0.98

03:47:40.000 Forget the fact that you're trying to give people, you know, access to healthcare that they shouldn't have in the first place and encouraging them to do things that are scientifically proven to be bad for them and increase suicide rates and everything else. 1.00

03:47:52.000 They were just mad that someone leaked it.

03:47:54.000 They weren't mad about the content of the leaks.

03:47:55.000 Yeah.

03:47:56.000 At all. 0.98

03:47:57.000 Look, if you don't want people to be mad at you for being jerks to heads of other states in emails, don't be jerks to heads of other states in emails. 0.99

03:48:03.000 That's one way to do it. 0.98

03:48:04.000 Then nobody can ever find an email where you said it.

03:48:04.000 All right?

03:48:07.000 How many times does this have to happen before people take precautions?

03:48:09.000 Hold on one second here.

03:48:10.000 I'm trying to find our researcher in the tax bill.

03:48:12.000 We did a video on the whole tax bill, but we didn't.

03:48:15.000 I don't know why it's not here.

03:48:17.000 Do you have the overlay on the town hall there, Sven?

03:48:20.000 Yes, we do.

03:48:21.000 Okay, Sven Computer, let's bring up the overlay.

03:48:23.000 So just so you know, this is what you just heard.

03:48:24.000 They're complaining in Vermont that we went into a private gathering.

03:48:28.000 No, look.

03:48:29.000 It is a trans... Read it. 1.00

03:48:31.000 Read it.

03:48:32.000 Bring it up.

03:48:33.000 What the healthcare trans town hall.

03:48:35.000 What the healthcare trans town hall open to the public.

03:48:39.000 You tell me that's a private meeting.

03:48:41.000 We went to a town hall where they discussed how to lie to health insurance.

03:48:47.000 to get sex change operations paid for and it went all the way as far as electrolysis and the media like we just showed you reports that we went in and we illegally recorded them and that the video we took we didn't take down the video that's I'm trying to claim a victory you know what a victory is we told Shia LaBeouf and his people to piss off and guess what they did you know what a real victory is Facebook was throttling us and what was actually announced in the end gadget article and we said a lot of court that's an actual victory You know what a real victory is?

03:49:12.000 Mashable came after us with some false, stupid, bullshit copyright claim, and we told them we're gonna counter-file, and so they dropped it. 0.98

03:49:18.000 That's a real victory. 0.97

03:49:19.000 They're trying to claim a victory, saying they committed an illegal act, and because we went after them, they removed the video.

03:49:24.000 We didn't commit an illegal act, and we didn't remove the video. 1.00

03:49:27.000 Piss off, you're just mentally deranged trannies who are absolutely upset that you were made to look like the fools that you are. 1.00

03:49:33.000 And by the way, we just had a tranny play Ghost of Christmas Past. 1.00

03:49:35.000 Okay.

03:49:36.000 Blair White came in.

03:49:37.000 Equal opportunity.

03:49:37.000 Blair White thinks that it is child abuse for what you people want to do to put your kids on puberty blockers.

03:49:42.000 We didn't break the law.

03:49:43.000 We're not backing down.

03:49:44.000 Our video is not going anywhere. 0.80

03:49:46.000 And you can piss off.

03:49:47.000 And here's the thing.

03:49:48.000 YouTube, you need to start playing by the law.

03:49:50.000 YouTube, one thing they do, they don't care if it's a single party consent state.

03:49:54.000 might try and take our video off of YouTube.

03:49:54.000 Doesn't happen.

03:49:56.000 But guess what? 0.97

03:49:56.000 You join Mug Club, you still get to see the full damn episode on Mug Club. 0.97

03:50:00.000 We'll put it up everywhere we possibly can because YouTube doesn't even play by their own rules. 0.68

03:50:05.000 We've gotten signed releases on YouTube interviewing people and they've changed their mind and YouTube has asked us to blur their faces out, which we did, but that's not the law. 0.88

03:50:14.000 So shut up. 1.00

03:50:15.000 Liberals try to act like they care about rule of law. 1.00

03:50:17.000 You don't.

03:50:18.000 Trannies in Vermont, you lost. 1.00

03:50:21.000 We didn't break the law.

03:50:22.000 The video's still up.

03:50:24.000 And you need some counseling.

03:50:26.000 Sven Computer, yeah.

03:50:28.000 I have just a bug of people who joined and sent their confirmation, so if you just want to read their names.

03:50:32.000 Okay, let's just hold on.

03:50:33.000 We'll read some mug clubs and then we'll get to the tax bill.

03:50:35.000 Yeah, so we got Brian Littlejohn right here.

03:50:38.000 Then we have Soler Jonathan Cantal.

03:50:42.000 This guy doesn't have a legitimate name.

03:50:44.000 Nice.

03:50:44.000 Alright, keep reading them.

03:50:45.000 Then we have at FoldMeJelly.

03:50:48.000 Also, just subscribe.

03:50:50.000 Khalil Alusta.

03:50:50.000 Interesting names.

03:50:53.000 There we go.

03:50:53.000 Here's the tuna can right here.

03:50:55.000 Noah, and then this guy said if you can pronounce his name correctly, instead of just the one he subscribed for now, he's going to subscribe for three years.

03:51:02.000 What's his name?

03:51:03.000 It should be on your screen right now.

03:51:05.000 No, no, I can't see it.

03:51:06.000 Is it Michelle?

03:51:07.000 Is it that one?

03:51:08.000 Or Michael?

03:51:08.000 Let me guess.

03:51:08.000 Yeah.

03:51:12.000 Michelle DeFranco.

03:51:13.000 Okay, maybe it's subscribe for three years.

03:51:15.000 Or Mikael DeFranco.

03:51:17.000 Mikael?

03:51:18.000 I don't know, because it can't be the obvious answer.

03:51:20.000 It could be Michael or Michelle or whatever, yeah.

03:51:22.000 It could be Michael, that could be... Anyway, hey, thank you so much for joining.

03:51:27.000 Every time you join Mug Club, some stupid tranny tries to threaten us with a BS lawsuit that we beat. 1.00

03:51:32.000 You like beating trannies? 1.00

03:51:42.000 See, I would take this person over the UN ambassador. 0.98

03:51:45.000 Other than Nikki Haley.

03:51:47.000 Really?

03:51:48.000 Yeah, absolutely, 100%.

03:51:49.000 Really?

03:51:49.000 You don't like Nikki Haley?

03:51:50.000 I didn't say that.

03:51:51.000 I said I would take this person before.

03:51:53.000 That surprises me.

03:51:55.000 No.

03:51:56.000 Keep it talking.

03:51:57.000 Keep it talking.

03:51:58.000 I have some work to do here.

03:51:59.000 You do some work.

03:52:01.000 She, well, maybe.

03:52:02.000 I don't know.

03:52:03.000 That's harsh to say, though.

03:52:04.000 I think the men behind him, or her, have had more work done.

03:52:08.000 Is that the Wizard of Oz?

03:52:08.000 Let's be honest.

03:52:13.000 He's pulled the curtain.

03:52:15.000 Looks like they erected Robert Byrd from the dead.

03:52:17.000 Yeah.

03:52:18.000 We're gonna put you in the front row, but no one's gonna see you because you're four feet eleven.

03:52:22.000 By the way, can I take this opportunity to complain?

03:52:23.000 Oh god, hold on, breaking news.

03:52:25.000 Nunez, it's not a secret, we are investigating the DOJ.

03:52:29.000 Of course it's not!

03:52:30.000 How is that breaking news?

03:52:31.000 It's, it's, this is CNN!

03:52:33.000 Everything's breaking news.

03:52:35.000 Breaking news, the sun is out today.

03:52:36.000 Here is some actual breaking news. 1.00

03:52:38.000 Apple, you suck. 1.00

03:52:39.000 Here's the thing. 1.00

03:52:40.000 I have a new iPad Pro, so I'm trying to save money here, okay?

03:52:43.000 Oh, it doesn't matter if I go close up.

03:52:45.000 I thought you had a close shot.

03:52:46.000 The only available keyboard is this thing from Apple right now, and it sucks, and it just stops working, and Apple makes it and charges $150.

03:52:54.000 Look at this.

03:52:54.000 What is this?

03:52:55.000 It's like origami paper mache.

03:52:56.000 I've had kids in preschool make paper mache masks that are more durable, and it just stopped working here.

03:53:03.000 Apple.

03:53:04.000 This is the third one!

03:53:05.000 Really?

03:53:06.000 All right.

03:53:07.000 Hopefully it comes back for you.

03:53:08.000 This is what happens when you watch CNN for... Has it been... It hasn't even been three hours?

03:53:12.000 No, it has.

03:53:13.000 It has.

03:53:13.000 What time do you guys start?

03:53:14.000 6.30?

03:53:15.000 No, no, we start at 8 Eastern, 7.

03:53:17.000 7, 7, okay, yeah.

03:53:18.000 Okay, let's see if this works.

03:53:19.000 Yeah, you're getting... Okay, I got it working.

03:53:21.000 All I have to do is completely disconnect the state-of-the-art Apple keyboard so that I can reconnect it to the state-of-the-art iPad.

03:53:27.000 And then you throttle my phone because it's not an iPhone X. All these Samsung people out there are like, damn right, preach it, brother! 0.72

03:53:32.000 All these Google phones, all these other ones, they're like, yeah, Apple sucks. 0.99

03:53:36.000 I don't know. 0.85

03:53:37.000 By the way, Apple's just fine, by the way.

03:53:39.000 Hashtag Crowder CNN Livestream.

03:53:39.000 Go back.

03:53:40.000 They supported net neutrality along with YouTube and Facebook and Twitter. 0.99

03:53:44.000 So believe your stupid YouTube and Twitter stars telling you you have to support net neutrality. 0.99

03:53:49.000 You're locking arms with Tim Cook. 1.00

03:53:49.000 Because guess what? 1.00

03:53:51.000 He's not affected.

03:53:51.000 He can throttle your old little phone.

03:53:53.000 Yeah, no, we believe they're altruistic.

03:53:55.000 These companies are supporting a little guy. 1.00

03:53:57.000 Dumbass. 1.00

03:53:58.000 Merry Christmas. 1.00

03:54:00.000 Tim Cook, screw you! 1.00

03:54:03.000 Enjoy your broken foreheads. 1.00

03:54:05.000 What is this commercial for? 0.99

03:54:06.000 This looks ridiculous. 0.98

03:54:09.000 Exploring a different America. 0.98

03:54:10.000 States of change.

03:54:11.000 And they were showing all the people, they were trying to show Trump as the bashers.

03:54:15.000 I've noticed an uptick in those, like these news channels putting out these heartfelt TV shows like that.

03:54:21.000 Yeah.

03:54:22.000 So speaking of which, I serve at a church and we have a great questions class where you can ask any question that you want, no matter what it is.

03:54:29.000 And there was a girl in college who came and said, do you think it's a violation of the separation of church and state for Donald Trump to tweet out that we serve God, not government?

03:54:39.000 And remember how we talk about all the time how kids are getting indoctrinated?

03:54:42.000 She said, everybody that was on campus during the election told me that they were glad that I was, that I should be glad I was not there because it was just the most toxic place ever.

03:54:50.000 And they're just getting indoctrinated over and over and over.

03:54:53.000 And if you think CNN is bad, college professors are worse.

03:54:57.000 College campuses are worse because when I told her that it's not state being out of church, being out of business as state, but state out of church, she looked at me like she had never heard that before.

03:55:05.000 And she had never heard the backstory of any of it before.

03:55:08.000 And she's fighting to try to kind of maintain some kind of belief on a college campus and it's almost impossible.

03:55:08.000 Yeah.

03:55:13.000 So I like that you guys are going on to the college campus.

03:55:15.000 You should probably... I wonder if Hopper Wishbone needs to debunk some separation of church and statesmen.

03:55:20.000 Yeah.

03:55:21.000 He might need to do that.

03:55:21.000 We just haven't had the time.

03:55:22.000 We need to make some more hires.

03:55:23.000 Yeah.

03:55:23.000 I think Sven Computer has some more overlays, you were saying.

03:55:28.000 Yes, BB.

03:55:29.000 If you want to go into the tax stuff.

03:55:32.000 Okay, let's go into the tax stuff.

03:55:33.000 So this is now what we're on after the Trump-Russia deal.

03:55:35.000 They're talking about the tax bill.

03:55:36.000 We've talked about this before.

03:55:37.000 They go into where they talk about it's the biggest, the biggest beneficiaries are corporations.

03:55:42.000 There's a private jet tax.

03:55:44.000 No, there isn't a private jet tax, by the way.

03:55:46.000 It's just so that private flights aren't charged the same as a commercial tax.

03:55:49.000 Right.

03:55:50.000 Just picture that right now. 1.00

03:55:51.000 Should you pay the same kind of a tax as Amtrak because you drive your stupid little Prius very poorly like a shopping cart? 1.00

03:55:57.000 No. 1.00

03:55:58.000 Even I would support you with that.

03:55:59.000 There is no private jet.

03:56:00.000 There's the golf course tax break, right?

03:56:02.000 That's completely BS.

03:56:03.000 It's about land conservation.

03:56:05.000 Golf courses happen to be one of them.

03:56:07.000 There's the death tax.

03:56:08.000 We've been talking about this.

03:56:09.000 The biggest beneficiaries.

03:56:10.000 Shouldn't you be able to give your kids whatever you want? 0.99

03:56:12.000 This is one of those things to me that's like, whoa, why should someone be able to give more than 11 million dollars to their kids who didn't earn it?

03:56:17.000 Why should you be able to tell me one way or the other?

03:56:18.000 Well, hold on a second.

03:56:19.000 It's even simpler.

03:56:20.000 Neither did you.

03:56:21.000 Yeah.

03:56:22.000 You didn't earn it.

03:56:23.000 I just find it so funny that all of a sudden liberals care, the progressives care about who's earned it.

03:56:27.000 Who's earning something.

03:56:28.000 The death tax.

03:56:28.000 Yeah.

03:56:29.000 We're taxing money that isn't earned from those kids. 0.76

03:56:32.000 So Nancy Pelosi worked for that?

03:56:33.000 Yeah, exactly.

03:56:34.000 So Debbie Wasserman Schultz can do it? 1.00

03:56:36.000 Well, we created the system.

03:56:37.000 Chuck Schumer told that field?

03:56:38.000 Sorry, that's not how it works.

03:56:40.000 Well, essentially what you're doing, the reason that some of the rich people are getting a benefit from this is you are repealing stuff that was stealing from people that made money.

03:56:48.000 Right.

03:56:48.000 You should feel good that you're not stealing quite as much and not being quite as much of a jerk to people that are out there making money that, by the way, are the ones that employ you and give you the money to go buy your kids Christmas gifts for Monday.

03:57:00.000 Well, they also have been talking about, they've talked about this before, they talked about today, about Obamacare premiums, that 9 million did to anything because of the chip thing, which is false. 0.87

03:57:06.000 That's not true.

03:57:07.000 But then even the premiums going up 10% in the next decade under Obamacare, what is it?

03:57:11.000 Mine went up 300%.

03:57:14.000 It went up 105% on average.

03:57:15.000 Yeah.

03:57:16.000 By the way, that average includes people getting the subsidized.

03:57:19.000 That's why it's kind of like when people say... Even with the subsidies going up, they're like, thank you very much, Obama.

03:57:23.000 To give you an example, the 105% rise.

03:57:25.000 I had a doctor.

03:57:26.000 I have hypothyroidism.

03:57:27.000 So when people are fat and they're like, it's glandular, I actually have that.

03:57:30.000 I have to take a pill for hypothyroidism every day. 0.98

03:57:33.000 It doesn't count for his butt, though. 1.00

03:57:34.000 No, it doesn't count for my ass. 1.00

03:57:36.000 The pill does everything, but... That's just the... Dippin' dots. 1.00

03:57:39.000 So, oh my gosh, look at this.

03:57:39.000 Yeah.

03:57:41.000 Look at this, she's an angry... She is. 1.00

03:57:42.000 She's an angry lesbian on CNN. 1.00

03:57:44.000 Ooh. 0.99

03:57:45.000 That's a bad... That's a bad hairdo, too.

03:57:46.000 What you talkin' about, Nunez?

03:57:46.000 I'm sorry.

03:57:47.000 Okay, let me go back to my story.

03:57:48.000 She looks like everyone that's ever worked at the, uh, at the, uh, like the arenas.

03:57:53.000 Directing to your seats.

03:57:54.000 Yes!

03:57:54.000 Yes, but they're nice people, so stop.

03:57:56.000 You in the nosebleed!

03:57:57.000 No, I'm not, I have a... You in the nosebleed! 1.00

03:58:00.000 I have a court side.

03:58:02.000 And of course, by the way, when we're talking about reducing corporate tax rate, we have the highest corporate tax rate of any industrialized economy.

03:58:06.000 In the world.

03:58:07.000 What was I saying before that?

03:58:09.000 Okay.

03:58:09.000 So here's an example.

03:58:10.000 So I have hypothyroidism, right?

03:58:11.000 Yes.

03:58:11.000 My thyroid was over whatever it is, a TSH or T3.

03:58:14.000 It was over five.

03:58:15.000 Like the range, the healthy range is about like one to five.

03:58:19.000 And mine was over that range.

03:58:20.000 I went to my doctor and said, well, it doesn't seem like I'm that far over the range.

03:58:23.000 Like I'm only like closer to six.

03:58:25.000 And he was like, well, hold on a second.

03:58:26.000 That's a really big number.

03:58:28.000 One is a big number there.

03:58:29.000 He said, and here's the deal.

03:58:30.000 That hypothyroid range includes that ideal thyroid, that thyroid range that doctors use includes people with hypothyroidism and diabetes and people who have thyroid disease.

03:58:38.000 He goes, when you eliminate from the population, people with thyroid disease, that range goes from one to five to about 0.5 Yeah.

03:58:47.000 He goes, I'd like to have you under two, ideally.

03:58:49.000 I'd like to have you in that 1.5 range as far as TSH.

03:58:51.000 Yeah.

03:58:52.000 So he said there's a range including people who have diseases or you use the range of people who are healthy.

03:58:57.000 So when we say that under Obamacare, premiums have gone up 105%, that includes the totality, just overall premiums, including people who all of a sudden got subsidized health care.

03:59:09.000 So you remove the people who are getting subsidized healthcare who aren't working, who are getting it from you, and that's why you have a 300% increase.

03:59:09.000 Right.

03:59:15.000 Right.

03:59:16.000 And we had over a 100-something percent increase.

03:59:18.000 I was paying $98 a month, and it was a $3,500 deductible, and I had a fully HSA-qualified plan, and I fully funded my HSA, I had AFLAC just in case I had an accident, and I had short-term disability at work.

03:59:30.000 I injured my back, had a $150,000 surgery, I was out of pocket zero dollars.

03:59:36.000 I used my HSA account, I used short-term disability, and I used AFLAC and my insurance.

03:59:41.000 I had zero dollars come from my day-to-day spending budget to take care of that.

03:59:45.000 That's exactly how you want people like me to be able to do that.

03:59:48.000 And now my plan is $300 for a $6,000 deductible.

03:59:53.000 And it has almost none of the benefits that I need.

03:59:54.000 I go in to get stuff done and it's terrible.

03:59:56.000 Warning.

03:59:56.000 Hold on a second.

03:59:57.000 Firing Mueller would be crossing red line.

03:59:59.000 Red lines don't matter! 0.98

04:00:00.000 Former National Press Secretary Bernie, yeah, there are three things there.

04:00:03.000 A. Trump said he's not going to be firing Mueller.

04:00:06.000 B. She was a campaign advisor for Bernie Sanders.

04:00:11.000 And C. Democrats don't mean red lines. 1.00

04:00:13.000 So shut the hell up, you angry, angry, warriors-looking lesbian. 1.00

04:00:17.000 A little militant there, yeah. 1.00

04:00:18.000 I know, she's probably not.

04:00:20.000 She looks like the lady from Warriors who was talking into the microphone. 0.89

04:00:22.000 She looks like the Amazon who didn't make the Wonder Woman cut. 0.99

04:00:29.000 By the way, for your rant on Apple, I'm getting some Team, what is it?

04:00:34.000 Yeah, Team Android stuff, thanks a lot.

04:00:34.000 What is the Android?

04:00:36.000 No, Brittany, no.

04:00:37.000 Team Android does not work.

04:00:38.000 Okay.

04:00:39.000 I don't know who Brittany is.

04:00:40.000 That's what I got for the last one.

04:00:40.000 Apple.

04:00:41.000 I don't think people really care what you're talking about.

04:00:42.000 I'm just saying, you ranted on Apple.

04:00:44.000 What about, well, you're not Team Android.

04:00:47.000 No, I'm saying now I'm getting that in my, because I stood up for Apple.

04:00:50.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

04:00:51.000 Now people are hating me for it.

04:00:52.000 Listen, the only reason I'm, it's like, I'm a battered wife.

04:00:56.000 I'm not gonna lie, like, I hate This, okay?

04:01:00.000 But you can't let it go.

04:01:01.000 I hate that I've paid for iTunes.

04:01:03.000 Now I don't need it.

04:01:04.000 You just need Spotify, right?

04:01:05.000 A monthly.

04:01:06.000 I hate that I've paid for things on here.

04:01:08.000 I hate that I have things synced on my iPhone.

04:01:10.000 I hate that I have a Mac, an iMac.

04:01:13.000 There goes that Apple sponsorship.

04:01:14.000 I absolutely hate it, but I'm like a battered wife.

04:01:17.000 We're like, you'd be nothing without me.

04:01:19.000 I'm like, no, I'm going to leave.

04:01:20.000 You can't make it out there without me.

04:01:20.000 I'm going to leave.

04:01:22.000 No one will love you, bitch. 1.00

04:01:24.000 And I'm like, I'll take the iPhone 10. 1.00

04:01:28.000 I'm not gonna lie, I have a battered wife. 1.00

04:01:28.000 Yes, I'll take the upcharge. 1.00

04:01:29.000 I'll take the iWatch too, thank you.

04:01:32.000 I don't want the iWatch.

04:01:33.000 You bought it as a sleep pad and you wore?

04:01:35.000 Well, I could use that.

04:01:37.000 I really need to check up on my REM sleep.

04:01:39.000 $9,000?

04:01:39.000 I'll take out a loan.

04:01:39.000 How much is it?

04:01:43.000 I think that's most people with Apple.

04:01:45.000 Well, I think you commit to one, and then you just stick with it no matter what.

04:01:48.000 Right?

04:01:48.000 Yeah.

04:01:48.000 Because you know how to use it, you're comfortable with it, you've got all the stuff you want on it, and really, for the stuff most people do, it doesn't matter.

04:01:54.000 Oh, okay, bring this up, Sven.

04:01:55.000 Bring the overlay up.

04:01:56.000 Simone D. Sanders, do you have the overlay?

04:01:58.000 This is the lady right now on CNN.

04:02:01.000 This is her overlay, Sven.

04:02:02.000 Overlay, Sven.

04:02:03.000 We're writing to Nick to step in a second, so we're switching.

04:02:03.000 Go, go, go.

04:02:07.000 Oh, okay.

04:02:07.000 We'll bring it up later.

04:02:08.000 We'll bring it up later. 0.94

04:02:09.000 Well, her Twitter says, rabid feminist. 1.00

04:02:14.000 I don't know if she's a lesbian, but she's dipped her toe in the water. 1.00

04:02:18.000 Is it warm?

04:02:21.000 I think it's only room temperature.

04:02:24.000 Maybe I'll be a tranny. 0.93

04:02:26.000 Wow, this guy looks weird. 0.92

04:02:28.000 Who says rabid feminist? 1.00

04:02:31.000 Did she not realize that sounds more pejorative than she means?

04:02:34.000 I don't know.

04:02:35.000 Oh, here we have video.

04:02:36.000 If we could bring in video, she straight up mocked that Trump's. 1.00

04:02:39.000 Remember the Trump supporter who was beaten up by the mob?

04:02:41.000 Yeah.

04:02:42.000 That's that lady. 1.00

04:02:43.000 She was just like, oh, my goodness, poor white people. 1.00

04:02:43.000 She's still on there. 1.00

04:02:45.000 That's who she is.

04:02:46.000 I knew I didn't like her for a reason.

04:02:47.000 I don't feel bad about anything I said.

04:02:48.000 You need to trust your gut.

04:02:50.000 Everyone in this room, fire your cannons at her like you're someone who just got a letter of mark and reprisal from Madison. 0.96

04:02:57.000 Just aim it at her. 1.00

04:03:00.000 Boom! 0.99

04:03:01.000 Boom! 0.99

04:03:01.000 Do you have any idea what would happen if I were on air and a black person were beaten up by a Trump supporter and I was like, oh my god, Paul Negroes! 0.99

04:03:07.000 Do you have any idea what would happen? 0.98

04:03:09.000 Rightfully be fired.

04:03:10.000 And then I'd have to do something like this.

04:03:11.000 MugClub, thank you for joining.

04:03:14.000 This is the wonder of it.

04:03:15.000 I can only be fired by you people.

04:03:18.000 If I say something that is so offensive, That is so off the beam.

04:03:24.000 You let me know, and you stop.

04:03:26.000 No one can stop us.

04:03:28.000 No one can stop us from livestreaming CNN.

04:03:30.000 No one can stop us from going into tranny town halls. 1.00

04:03:32.000 No one can stop us from going undercover Antifa.

04:03:34.000 And when the media says there's no story here, even though someone was arrested from Not Gay Jared, who bravely went into undercover Antifa, guess what?

04:03:41.000 We can do it.

04:03:42.000 And no one can stop us.

04:03:44.000 I think we should lay his life on the line more often.

04:03:46.000 I think we should too.

04:03:47.000 And you know what a big thing our sponsorship with Walther by the way yeah by the way this is I'll take this out appendix carry just so just so you can see okay hold on check it make sure it's cleared and right yeah pointed at me to check thanks yeah you're good clear so just say this is clear okay there's nothing in the magazine this is the PPS all right this is the Walther PPS that I have in my chastity belt right now it's an amazing carry gun now the reason I say this is Walther came on as a sponsor a big part of it is because you joined A big part is because they see how many people have joined up on Mug Club and supported us.

04:04:16.000 And so they realize, you know what?

04:04:18.000 We don't need to be the sponsor who tepidly joins and then we're afraid and we pull out because we already know what they're about and we know that there are people out there who are willing to support them.

04:04:26.000 So if we get sponsors, we're not beholden to sponsors being upset over us offending somebody.

04:04:33.000 Absolutely.

04:04:33.000 It gives you complete freedom.

04:04:35.000 I met John King once, by accident.

04:04:37.000 He was actually very nice.

04:04:38.000 Okay.

04:04:39.000 He was maybe nice.

04:04:39.000 He was very nice.

04:04:40.000 He was, he was a wide body.

04:04:43.000 Uh, it looks like he's lost weight.

04:04:44.000 You can already see like, look, if he doesn't have shoulder pads on his suit, he's a little wide.

04:04:48.000 It's just, it's all hip.

04:04:49.000 Like an old Matt Iseman.

04:04:51.000 You see that?

04:04:53.000 I can see it.

04:04:53.000 Maybe.

04:04:54.000 I think Matt Iseman's on the show today, by the way.

04:04:56.000 Really?

04:04:57.000 Um, hold on a second.

04:04:58.000 Any other hit points?

04:05:04.000 Dramatic showdown.

04:05:09.000 Dramatic showdown.

04:05:10.000 I love this.

04:05:11.000 You went to vote on Trump's... Who cares?

04:05:13.000 Let him do whatever the hell he wants.

04:05:16.000 This has been, every president has said, Israel's capital is Jerusalem.

04:05:21.000 What was the resolution?

04:05:24.000 Was it like 300-something?

04:05:26.000 It was like a blowout.

04:05:27.000 If you could ever have a blowout, it was a blowout in the Senate, it was a blowout in the House.

04:05:30.000 I think it was 90-something in the Senate.

04:05:32.000 It was over 400, I believe, in the House.

04:05:36.000 Yeah, I'm sure I have this somewhere.

04:05:37.000 It's somewhere down there.

04:05:38.000 Either way, it was passed in 1995.

04:05:40.000 The red line was 1999.

04:05:41.000 We started red lines and not following them a long time ago, apparently.

04:05:44.000 And then every candidate came through, every president who ever gave a speech to AIPAC said, Jerusalem is your capital, right?

04:05:50.000 We're not moving it, right guys?

04:05:51.000 We're not moving it.

04:05:52.000 Okay, we got to sign that document twice a year to push it back to where we're not moving.

04:05:55.000 But every one of us is going to say that your capital is Jerusalem.

04:05:58.000 Okay, controversial Jerusalem.

04:06:00.000 So, an FU if you don't like it, okay?

04:06:01.000 That's what we should be telling the world right now.

04:06:04.000 Alright, can someone guess, can someone guess, so there was, this was in 1995, Congress passed the Jerusalem Embassy Act.

04:06:08.000 Roy Morfow.

04:06:08.000 See this right here.

04:06:09.000 Controversial Jerusalem.

04:06:09.000 Okay.

04:06:10.000 So, and F you if you don't like it, okay?

04:06:12.000 That's what we should be telling the world right now.

04:06:14.000 All right.

04:06:14.000 Can someone guess?

04:06:15.000 Can someone guess?

04:06:17.000 So this is 1995.

04:06:17.000 So there was.

04:06:18.000 Congress passed the Jerusalem Embassy Act.

04:06:21.000 They've never mentioned this on CNN yet.

04:06:22.000 No.

04:06:22.000 Okay?

04:06:23.000 Never once mentioned it.

04:06:24.000 Let's add this to the CNN hit list, either Sven or Reg.

04:06:24.000 You know what?

04:06:29.000 1995, Congress passed the Jerusalem Embassy Act for relocating the embassy of the United States to Jerusalem and recognizing it as Israel's capital.

04:06:34.000 Okay?

04:06:35.000 And the recognition was supposed to occur.

04:06:36.000 I know you have to get going, Joe.

04:06:37.000 Do you want to go?

04:06:38.000 I'm good.

04:06:38.000 No, I'm good.

04:06:39.000 No later than May 31st, 1999.

04:06:40.000 It passed 95 to 3 in the Senate.

04:06:41.000 93 to 5.

04:06:41.000 passed 95 to 3 in the Senate. 93 to 5. 93 to 5.

04:06:41.000 Yep.

04:06:41.000 93 to 5.

04:06:46.000 Yep. 374 to 37 in the House.

04:06:49.000 That means a bunch of pansies didn't vote, by the way.

04:06:51.000 So this is... Right.

04:06:51.000 It means... About a hundred people.

04:06:53.000 It means if it had occurred under Obama's tenure, which it didn't, he'd just be sitting like, uh, President!

04:06:56.000 It's like, we know you're here!

04:06:57.000 We know you're here!

04:06:58.000 I'm running for President!

04:06:59.000 Yeah, we know you're here, but do you have a vote?

04:07:00.000 President! 1.00

04:07:01.000 No, no, we know you're here, do you have a penis, sir? 1.00

04:07:04.000 Do you have a spine? 1.00

04:07:07.000 Eh, present.

04:07:09.000 93 to 5, Senate, 374 to 37, where it was supposed to be recognized as Israel's capital, with the embassy, no later than May 31st, 1999.

04:07:16.000 Nothing gets voted on 93 to 5, by the way.

04:07:18.000 Nothing does.

04:07:19.000 Nothing!

04:07:19.000 Like, I can't agree that the day has started 93 to 5, okay?

04:07:22.000 You can't have a vote simply to, uh, let's say, I don't know, just a vote to take a poll on who hates puppies.

04:07:30.000 Okay, and I know you can't have a vote, and you're just going to give it to them.

04:07:34.000 You could not do it.

04:07:35.000 It wouldn't happen.

04:07:35.000 374 to 37, 93 to 5.

04:07:36.000 It's been recognized for decades.

04:07:38.000 This is the first president to enforce it.

04:07:39.000 So the UN is effectively saying, are we going to pass a resolution saying that we don't like that Donald Trump did this?

04:07:46.000 This is why I say, why do we care about the UN?

04:07:48.000 Why are we in the UN anymore?

04:07:50.000 They serve no purpose.

04:07:51.000 We should kick them out.

04:07:51.000 It's not like NATO.

04:07:52.000 Yeah.

04:07:53.000 That's good office space we could use for something else.

04:07:55.000 We should kick them out.

04:07:56.000 You know what we should do? 0.99

04:07:56.000 They're useless at this point. 0.99

04:07:57.000 You know what else we should do?

04:07:58.000 We were talking about Canadian health care with Jordan Peterson earlier.

04:08:01.000 Are we ready with Molyneux or do we need a few more?

04:08:03.000 We need about 30 seconds.

04:08:05.000 We should, any drug we invent, we don't give to any other country outside the United States.

04:08:10.000 Any medical innovation, any research, you don't benefit if you have socialized health care.

04:08:14.000 Yeah, and by the way, you don't, you don't, we don't use our military to protect you.

04:08:14.000 We're like China.

04:08:18.000 Ooh, that's the biggest one.

04:08:19.000 Yeah.

04:08:20.000 We, if we, we should sign a resolution saying nobody in the UN gets our military assistance.

04:08:26.000 None of you.

04:08:27.000 Guess what?

04:08:27.000 Yeah.

04:08:28.000 Go back to protecting your own trade.

04:08:29.000 Okay.

04:08:30.000 Go ahead.

04:08:30.000 Go ahead and guard your own ships.

04:08:32.000 But we have these giant oil fields and we have no, I'm sorry.

04:08:35.000 I know your air force is a guy in a propeller plane with a shotgun.

04:08:39.000 Yes, you can afford terrible health care that everybody has, but nobody has access to, because you don't defend yourself!

04:08:39.000 We get it.

04:08:44.000 I know.

04:08:45.000 We do!

04:08:45.000 Alright, I know, you have to go.

04:08:46.000 Alright, buddy, I'll be back in a little bit.

04:08:47.000 Y'all have fun.

04:08:47.000 Thanks, Eric.

04:08:47.000 See ya.

04:08:48.000 This wrist hurt, too.

04:08:48.000 Bye.

04:08:49.000 I've sprained both wrists.

04:08:50.000 And his giant meat hook.

04:08:52.000 Thank you, atgmorganjr.

04:08:55.000 We have Stefan Mahler coming up.

04:08:56.000 Hashtag CrowderCNN livestream.

04:08:58.000 Make sure it's trending for this guy, because people like him.

04:09:01.000 And, uh, we're glad to have him on the show since we just took a steaming dump on Canada.

04:09:05.000 I'm sorry that was your intro.

04:09:07.000 At Stephan Molyneux, that's where the Mac's.

04:09:08.000 Stephan, how are you, sir?

04:09:11.000 I'm very well, Stephen.

04:09:12.000 Merry Christmas to you and yours.

04:09:12.000 How you doing?

04:09:14.000 Uh, horribly.

04:09:15.000 I'm not gonna lie to you.

04:09:16.000 I miss—'cause you know we're doing the 16-hour CNN livestream?

04:09:19.000 I'm—without a hint— Oh, wait, wait!

04:09:21.000 Oh, no.

04:09:22.000 I have a, um, I'm— I am.

04:09:27.000 I've got my blast helmet, my stormtrooper outfit, I've got tear-away pants for no particular reason, and I'm ready for CNN to scour my brain of reason and evidence.

04:09:37.000 All my years of philosophical training can be taken out by one pixel-based shotgun blast of irrationality from the mainstream media, I'm said, baby.

04:09:46.000 Is it wrong that that looks refreshing?

04:09:50.000 Well, it may look more refreshing than CNN, that's all I'm saying.

04:09:53.000 Oh, I know, I know.

04:09:53.000 I look at it and I'm like, oh.

04:09:55.000 It's like the oasis, it's like the mirage in the middle of the desert.

04:09:58.000 I'm sitting there going, oh.

04:10:00.000 I'm looking at you right now.

04:10:01.000 It's like a spear commercial. 0.92

04:10:02.000 And you look like a hawk, you look like a hawk.

04:10:04.000 Stefan is a hot dog and the Clorox is just like a martini.

04:10:08.000 Alright, at Stefan Molyneux.

04:10:10.000 Stefan, I don't know if you've been following at all.

04:10:14.000 I don't know if you've been following the stream at all, but do you want me to catch up to speed?

04:10:16.000 Just a brief hit list of some of the biases?

04:10:19.000 You know, just just in case people end up only watching this segment, which I'm not saying I'd recommend it.

04:10:23.000 I'm just saying it's going to be the best segment, but you might as well catch up people in case they just dip in here.

04:10:27.000 OK, so let me do this really quick.

04:10:28.000 So right away we tuned in.

04:10:30.000 Stoking the Russian hysteria with the idea that Trump is going to fire Mueller.

04:10:33.000 Of course, he already said that he wasn't.

04:10:34.000 Maybe he will, but he said that he wouldn't.

04:10:35.000 Adam Schiff on Mueller probe was up there nine months ago.

04:10:38.000 He said he had evidence on President Donald Trump.

04:10:40.000 There's been nothing.

04:10:40.000 And they had him on here for like half an hour.

04:10:42.000 Not a single mention, not one of Uranium One trending on Twitter, depending where you are.

04:10:46.000 That's number three and that's number four.

04:10:48.000 We were number three.

04:10:49.000 So sorry, a little ego there.

04:10:51.000 Chip program.

04:10:51.000 They literally said nine million tiny Tim's will die because Republicans don't want to fund the child health care initiative.

04:10:57.000 It's not true.

04:10:57.000 They actually Put some legislation forward to fund it for another five years.

04:11:01.000 Democrats just don't like the mechanism of funding.

04:11:03.000 No mention of the Melbourne attacker being an Afghani named Saeed Nyori.

04:11:06.000 They just said some guy ran over some people in Melbourne.

04:11:09.000 Holiday shoppers, by the way, not Christmas shoppers. 1.00

04:11:10.000 The cherry on top of the shit cake. 1.00

04:11:12.000 And then we have... Sorry, there's no censoring here today. 0.99

04:11:15.000 Uh, mysterious death of border patrol agent.

04:11:16.000 They were saying, we are mysterious.

04:11:18.000 What's the cause?

04:11:19.000 Two illegal, uh, immigrant drug cartels are the only suspects right now. 0.79

04:11:23.000 We can't confirm it, but they didn't even mention it at all. 0.96

04:11:25.000 They had DeSimone Sanders on to talk about the Mueller probe, who, of course, mocked Trump supporters being beaten by black mobs, saying, poor white people.

04:11:31.000 And, of course, they've been talking about Israel nonstop and the embassy saying...

04:11:34.000 Basically, I've been presenting it as though this is some kind of a new idea to move the embassy to Jerusalem.

04:11:39.000 Not talking about the 1995 vote for the embassy to be moved to Jerusalem and it to be recognized as Israeli capital no later than May 1999.

04:11:46.000 That's just the hit list from 8 o'clock a.m.

04:11:49.000 to now, Stefan.

04:11:51.000 Your floor.

04:11:53.000 Right. 0.94

04:11:54.000 Well, first of all, I mean, the idea that they would fire Mueller would be ridiculous.

04:11:58.000 Mueller is like the Christmas gift that keeps on giving.

04:12:02.000 Because with Mueller, you have this whole Russia hysteria, Russian bears are crawling up my leg, and not in the way that I like.

04:12:10.000 And in the meantime, you know, Trump can go around fixing the country while everyone's distracted.

04:12:14.000 Squirrel!

04:12:15.000 Russians! 0.99

04:12:15.000 They're off doing their crazy stuff and Mueller should just keep going. 0.99

04:12:18.000 I'm really sorry for all the people whose life savings are being scoured clear by this political witch hunt, but it does give the Democrats something to focus on that keeps them distracted while the country gets saved.

04:12:30.000 Well, I am amazed that there's no mention of Uranium One.

04:12:32.000 And they even said like, well, is it just meddling?

04:12:35.000 Or was there collusion?

04:12:37.000 As though there isn't an answer number three.

04:12:39.000 Like, maybe none of it.

04:12:41.000 Maybe Donald Trump had nothing to do with it.

04:12:42.000 It's like, did he meddle?

04:12:43.000 Or did he just collude?

04:12:43.000 Did they meddle?

04:12:45.000 And then they go into Mueller and they have Schiff, who's been promising evidence for nine months.

04:12:48.000 Like you said, it's a gift because they promise evidence and then there's nothing and they move on down the trail.

04:12:55.000 But wouldn't it be terrible, as Hillary Clinton said, wouldn't it be terrible, shocking and appalling, Stephen, if Trump did not recognize and accept the outcome of a democratic election?

04:13:05.000 Wouldn't that just be the worst conceivable thing in the world?

04:13:08.000 Oh, Lord, I just, you know, if you ever want to know what's really going on in the mind of a leftist, just look what they're accusing other people of, and that's their darkest acted out fantasies.

04:13:18.000 I think you're right.

04:13:19.000 Right now they just showed a chart here up on CNN that 22% were the biggest contributors to the UN.

04:13:24.000 Stephan, do you think we should even be, well, we, I said the United States.

04:13:27.000 I know, you know, listen, you're our friends over there in Canada, but I know you'd probably rather be American at this point.

04:13:31.000 You're trying.

04:13:32.000 You're doing better.

04:13:33.000 Do you think the US should be involved with the UN at all at this point?

04:13:36.000 Oh, no.

04:13:37.000 The UN is a massive spider-based cancer for spreading leftism around the planet.

04:13:44.000 The idea that you have, what is it, Saudi Arabia chairing the Women's Rights Commission, and I don't know, it was like Zimbabwe on the Human Rights Council and so on. 0.90

04:13:52.000 It's affirmative action for evil people. 0.86

04:13:54.000 I like the idea that this shouldn't have anything to do with anything. 0.98

04:13:57.000 What if we just cut off a portion of the clitoris? 1.00

04:14:00.000 Right? 0.97

04:14:01.000 And the UN's like, yeah, yeah, that sounds good.

04:14:01.000 Right?

04:14:04.000 I'm just pretty much sure that on no sane planet should gynecologists be equipped with chainsaws. 1.00

04:14:10.000 That is not the way a sane planet should ever operate.

04:14:13.000 And I like what Trump said.

04:14:15.000 He said, hey, you don't like the Jerusalem thing?

04:14:17.000 Maybe we'll just cut your foreign aid.

04:14:19.000 Now, why there's foreign aid to begin with is completely beyond me.

04:14:22.000 I don't know if it's white guilt or if it's just buying off votes or whatever, but you know, how about you just, anybody who says anything, are you breathing?

04:14:29.000 Okay.

04:14:29.000 No foreign aid for you.

04:14:30.000 I mean, it's terrible for the countries involved.

04:14:32.000 It's just the whole process of transferring money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.

04:14:38.000 And it's just another form of corporate welfare, because you give a bunch of money to Zimbabwe in American dollars, they end up having to spend it someplace, which benefits American companies.

04:14:45.000 So yeah, let's just get rid of foreign aid completely.

04:14:47.000 It hasn't worked.

04:14:49.000 The countries are not better off and the deficit just keeps growing in America and all the Western countries.

04:14:54.000 So yeah, this internationalism thing, it comes out of a fundamental misunderstanding.

04:14:58.000 Everyone thinks, well, the reason why there was a Second World War is that people weren't talking enough.

04:15:02.000 So let's get a place together where people can talk and everything will be fine.

04:15:06.000 And now we just have another kind of invasion going on.

04:15:09.000 Right, hold on.

04:15:10.000 Hey, sound guy Edward, make sure you close both doors when you come in.

04:15:12.000 We have like a photo, a red room, and there are two doors, and one of them was being left open so I could hear someone yelling.

04:15:18.000 Oh, I thought it was, was it not going to be a draft?

04:15:20.000 I don't see any nipples. 0.65

04:15:21.000 I was hoping that maybe that'd be a draft. 0.94

04:15:22.000 I don't care. 0.99

04:15:23.000 I'm going to show you some nipples. 1.00

04:15:24.000 Oh, there we go. 0.99

04:15:25.000 Hang on.

04:15:25.000 Okay.

04:15:26.000 By the way, I don't know if you saw this. 0.97

04:15:27.000 We're sponsored by Walther now, a firearm company with balls. 0.83

04:15:30.000 And so look at this, Stephan. 0.98

04:15:33.000 Pow, pow, pow.

04:15:33.000 Appendix carrying.

04:15:35.000 That's a Walther.

04:15:35.000 That's a Walther firearm there.

04:15:37.000 They saw the show, and they said, we'll sponsor you anyway.

04:15:40.000 So how good is that?

04:15:41.000 Did they specifically say that it should be in your groin?

04:15:44.000 Was that in the contract, or it's just a rider that you have? 1.00

04:15:47.000 I know I want nothing but red M&Ms and a gun where my dick should be. 1.00

04:15:51.000 Well, there is no other rider than me. 1.00

04:15:55.000 What?

04:15:55.000 And it's a holster with options.

04:15:56.000 It's a holster with options.

04:15:57.000 It's actually a Nate Squared holster.

04:15:58.000 So I wear it on the side, but here with the onesie, it was kind of hard to do.

04:16:02.000 It wasn't because there's no loop.

04:16:03.000 Anyways, long story short, but here, let me, it's funny that you mentioned this, no foreign aid.

04:16:06.000 That's, you know, I'm actually kind of on board with that, but what's ironic here, so let's, let's both agree on that, but now let's get into the reality that there is foreign aid.

04:16:14.000 The only place liberals have problems with foreign aid is the one place that actually respects, to some degree, human rights.

04:16:21.000 Right now, Israel. 0.83

04:16:22.000 They have no problem with foreign aid with Saudi Arabia.

04:16:24.000 They want more foreign aid to Hamas.

04:16:26.000 But really, today, this is a referendum on not hating Israel.

04:16:30.000 We're not even talking about foreign aid today.

04:16:32.000 We're just talking about recognizing an embassy that was already passed as a bill in 1995.

04:16:38.000 So, as someone who's a libertarian, you know yourself, you're consistent.

04:16:41.000 No foreign aid across the board.

04:16:42.000 But do you see this irony?

04:16:44.000 That the only time liberals have a problem with foreign aid is when it is Israel?

04:16:49.000 Well, of course, the big problem with Israel for the liberals, Stephen, is that the Jews in Israel have a very strong in-group preference.

04:16:56.000 They don't allow migrants. 1.00

04:16:57.000 They're kicking out a bunch of people who came in.

04:16:59.000 They have a wall.

04:17:01.000 They have a sense of culture, of history, of pride, and they want to keep the country for themselves.

04:17:06.000 Now that very idea gives liberals hives and shakes and spina bifida and Lord knows what else.

04:17:11.000 So I think that they're concerned that That a cultural country that wishes to keep its own identity exists, because, by God, man, what if that idea were to spread elsewhere?

04:17:20.000 What would happen?

04:17:21.000 Oh, the horror!

04:17:22.000 Yeah.

04:17:23.000 And the thing is, like we talked about here in the United States, the equivalent there isn't really a race of people, there are Jews as a race of people, but people who are, okay, boom, you subscribe to the Constitution, when you come here you actually take this naturalization oath, and if you don't believe it, You're out. 0.74

04:17:34.000 That's terrifying to liberals here in the United States.

04:17:37.000 You know, what makes an American is a set of ideals.

04:17:38.000 And they go, well, hold on a second.

04:17:39.000 No, no, no.

04:17:40.000 We don't have to believe in freedom of speech.

04:17:42.000 You don't have to believe in the Second Amendment.

04:17:43.000 What are you talking about?

04:17:44.000 That's in the oath when you become a citizen here.

04:17:46.000 Yeah, it is crazy to me.

04:17:48.000 Here's my situation with Israel. 0.75

04:17:50.000 And I've talked about this, and this is not necessarily super popular with the Christian community.

04:17:54.000 No foreign aid, period.

04:17:56.000 Now, Israel is a pivotal military ally of ours because it's the one area where, you know, listen, we need a place to land, we need a place to refuel, we need a safe haven where there's an entire sea of people who want to destroy us, but you can do that without the kind of money that exchanges hands as it does right now.

04:18:09.000 But if you look at Ron Paul, What they basically said is we're funding to the tune of all of these countries around Israel.

04:18:15.000 If you add it all up, we're giving far more money to countries who want to eviscerate Israel than Israel itself. 0.87

04:18:21.000 We give more to them individually, but if you just say no funding at all, right?

04:18:25.000 No funding at all to anybody, Israel would actually be better off because of the funding we give to other countries who want to kill them. 0.87

04:18:31.000 That to me is entirely sensible.

04:18:33.000 Well, as far as I understand it, I'm no expert of the economics even, but as far as I understand it, Jews in America, not the poorest demographic in the known universe.

04:18:42.000 So, you know, if people want to help a country, they can write checks and send money.

04:18:46.000 You know, it's not like there'll be no help going from America to Israel if there's no foreign aid.

04:18:51.000 But you're right.

04:18:51.000 I mean, why are you selling hundreds of billions of dollars of arms to places like Saudi Arabia and also giving money to defense for Israel?

04:18:59.000 I mean, talk about funding both sides of the coin. 0.94

04:19:01.000 I mean, it's ridiculous. 0.70

04:19:02.000 And here's something I don't understand, too. 0.82

04:19:03.000 Like, Saudi Arabia, I get it, you know, and you look back, okay, then it goes all the way back to the Clintons and the Bushes and their allyship with Saudi Arabia, and then you kind of have it with the UAE.

04:19:12.000 Qatar, Clock Boy. 0.79

04:19:14.000 Clock Boy, gosh.

04:19:15.000 That was this year, Clock Boy.

04:19:16.000 What a long year.

04:19:17.000 Was it?

04:19:18.000 No, it wasn't.

04:19:18.000 Really?

04:19:19.000 Wasn't it?

04:19:20.000 No, I've so lost track.

04:19:23.000 We'll talk about it.

04:19:24.000 I've so lost track of time these days.

04:19:25.000 He did a resurgence.

04:19:25.000 You know what?

04:19:26.000 He came back.

04:19:27.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

04:19:28.000 He went away and he came back.

04:19:29.000 Yeah, he came back.

04:19:29.000 He tried a lawsuit.

04:19:30.000 He moved overseas.

04:19:31.000 He came back.

04:19:32.000 Oh yeah, it was a big mess.

04:19:32.000 That's it.

04:19:33.000 Yeah, it was Clock Boy 2, back to the briefcase.

04:19:36.000 So he didn't, by the way, he didn't build anything.

04:19:39.000 He put a Philips alarm clock in a briefcase and he turned up the volume.

04:19:42.000 And he was like, hey guys, I had nothing to see here.

04:19:45.000 No one knows.

04:19:45.000 CNN didn't report that.

04:19:46.000 What was that?

04:19:46.000 CNN didn't report it.

04:19:47.000 No, CNN didn't report it.

04:19:48.000 So what's crazy to me is, like you said, we're talking about this.

04:19:51.000 Every now and then we have an alliance with someone in the Middle East not named Israel.

04:19:55.000 Israel has been pretty consistent here over the last couple of decades.

04:19:57.000 But Saudi Arabia, then they screw up. 0.75

04:19:59.000 Egypt, then they screw up. 0.98

04:20:00.000 Turkey, then they screw up. 0.97

04:20:01.000 Even if you go back to, you know, before the Iran conflict, you look, there were all different kinds of alliances, and it always goes sour.

04:20:08.000 So my whole thing is I understand that people say, well, listen, we have to be diplomatic, but you know, you know, they're going to turn on you at some point.

04:20:15.000 At this point, we're going to lose some of the biggest alliances just because we say, yeah, we can put the embassy in Jerusalem.

04:20:20.000 So why do it?

04:20:21.000 Just say no more money.

04:20:22.000 That's it.

04:20:23.000 None.

04:20:23.000 Zero.

04:20:23.000 How about that?

04:20:24.000 Well, can you, can you imagine?

04:20:26.000 Let's just, let's just do a thought exercise here for you and your listeners.

04:20:29.000 I warn you, I am very, my thoughts are slower than usual after five hours of CNN.

04:20:35.000 Oh no, listen, I specifically wanted to come in later, just to have the slight intellectual advantage.

04:20:40.000 You've got me beat on biceps, but if you're exhausted, I might have a chance.

04:20:45.000 But let's imagine that there was a religion somewhere out there in the world that specifically allowed its adherents to lie to people who weren't part of that religion and be perfectly moral.

04:20:52.000 Like, you know, because with Christianity, it's a, you know, do not bear false witness and so on, and it's a universal commandment.

04:20:58.000 But let's just imagine there are a couple of religions out there that specifically say, totally fine, in fact, if it's advantageous for your religion, you can completely lie to people not part of your religion.

04:21:08.000 And let's say that America or the West as a whole Didn't really notice that particular clause and entered into these contracts with people whose religion specifically says they never have to keep a contract with you in any way shape or form.

04:21:21.000 I wonder if a lot of foreign policy could be improved by just reading a few sections of, say, said religious text and making decisions accordingly.

04:21:29.000 You can't even ask them, I think, by the way, this thought exercise.

04:21:29.000 That's true.

04:21:29.000 You know what?

04:21:33.000 I believe he's speaking of the Islamic belief of taqiyah, which is you're allowed to lie. 1.00

04:21:38.000 By the way, you're allowed to lie in times of war.

04:21:40.000 What means, or times of oppression.

04:21:41.000 What is a time of oppression?

04:21:43.000 Anytime you're not the ruling class with everyone subjugated.

04:21:45.000 So basically, it's always a time of oppression until Islam takes over the entire world. 1.00

04:21:48.000 The problem is you can't even ask them to renounce taqiyah. 0.99

04:21:53.000 Let's say certain people took an oath It's like, I promise.

04:22:02.000 So no Takeya.

04:22:03.000 No!

04:22:05.000 I swear to God.

04:22:05.000 You swear.

04:22:07.000 Your God.

04:22:07.000 I swear to any God.

04:22:09.000 Yeah, I know.

04:22:10.000 What if people swore on a Bible?

04:22:12.000 Anyway, this is going to go on and on.

04:22:15.000 This could go on and on.

04:22:16.000 Can you imagine?

04:22:17.000 I know, alright.

04:22:18.000 No, really, I can't.

04:22:19.000 I mean, those Klingons, they've got some, well, you know, odd beliefs. 1.00

04:22:22.000 Let's just put it that way.

04:22:23.000 Hold on one second.

04:22:24.000 Let's let Stephen hear this.

04:22:26.000 John King is talking.

04:22:27.000 votes to condemn Trump's Jerusalem decision.

04:22:27.000 U.N.

04:22:29.000 It's just recycling!

04:22:30.000 It's just recycling.

04:22:32.000 ...in a year in which Republicans are trying to protect their majorities, and you already see the beginnings of a Democratic wave because of the president's unpopularity.

04:22:39.000 This is better than...

04:22:39.000 Huh?

04:22:41.000 I really say this, but Donald Trump is right on the politics here.

04:22:44.000 A shutdown would be terrible tomorrow.

04:22:45.000 Do you think they know we're watching them?

04:22:48.000 Here's what's crazy, Stefan, right?

04:22:49.000 They have all this money.

04:22:51.000 They are talking about the same thing that they've been talking about from this morning.

04:22:54.000 There is nothing new.

04:22:56.000 And they're paying them to have this opulent set and a round table, and all they are doing is discussing the same thing we are, except with a lag, because they have to have middlemen get them the breaking news online.

04:23:08.000 Literally today, they've had, like, breaking news.

04:23:10.000 Well, that's not breaking.

04:23:10.000 We've known this for 30 minutes.

04:23:12.000 I mean, do you think we're watching them die?

04:23:15.000 Do you think that CNN, do you think in five years' time, cable news as we know it won't really exist?

04:23:19.000 It'll be some other form?

04:23:22.000 Oh, listen, Stephen, I mean, come on, you and I and the audiences that we have and the trajectory of our growth, like we just ran the numbers, Mohammed on my channel grew 20% year over year.

04:23:32.000 We're not watching them die.

04:23:34.000 We're helping them.

04:23:36.000 We're like the nurse in the operating room.

04:23:38.000 It's like, well, you know, this patient doesn't seem to be doing well.

04:23:40.000 Oops! 0.78

04:23:41.000 Kicked out the plug!

04:23:43.000 Well, I guess I just saved everybody some money.

04:23:45.000 So, no, I like to think that I'm not just a passive participant in watching the decaying orbit of the mainstream media as it burns up in the stratosphere of intelligent thought and alternative media.

04:23:55.000 I like to think that I'm not just helping someone fly, I'm giving them a little bit of a push as well.

04:24:00.000 So, yeah, I think we're a little bit more active than just observers.

04:24:03.000 I think you're right.

04:24:04.000 I think you've done a lot.

04:24:05.000 And then I think all the people who joined Mug Club today, they're basically the person with the pillow going, I can't bear to watch this. 0.93

04:24:11.000 Let me just say one other thing, just looking at that CNN panel.

04:24:16.000 This question of diversity is interesting because it seems to me that they're only focused on the surface with regards to diversity.

04:24:26.000 Because, of course, on CNN, you never want a libertarian.

04:24:29.000 You might get a rhino sort of floating through from time to time who's, you know, willing to say a few things to the Republican base while basically informing with what the left wants.

04:24:38.000 But any actual diversity of opinion at CNN is completely absent.

04:24:43.000 So they have, I guess, women and blacks and other groups who all have the same beliefs.

04:24:49.000 So in other words, they say diversity is only skin deep.

04:24:53.000 Diversity is like what covers your dome, what's inside your brain.

04:24:58.000 There can be no diversity of any kind, any way, shape, or form.

04:25:02.000 No divergent opinions, no opposite arguments, nothing like that.

04:25:06.000 And that to me is really interesting because I value diversity of opinion.

04:25:09.000 You know, nobody has a monopoly on truth and we all benefit from having our arguments sharpened by opposition.

04:25:14.000 But with CNN, it is this monotonous sameness.

04:25:18.000 And this is why I think that the audience for CNN is sort of functionally retarded because smart people want – they don't like things being the same. 1.00

04:25:25.000 Hold on one second.

04:25:26.000 One second.

04:25:27.000 128 to 9, the vote to condemn Trump's Jerusalem decision.

04:25:30.000 And it was 300-something to like 5 or – it was like 300-something to 50 to recognize it as the embassy in 95.

04:25:36.000 It was 97 to 3 or 95 to 3 or 93 to 5.

04:25:39.000 So it's like – it's just so funny.

04:25:41.000 UN is a complete flip-flop of countries not beholden to being politically correct.

04:25:45.000 Sorry.

04:25:45.000 Continue with your thought.

04:25:46.000 It's a – well, it's a team thing.

04:25:49.000 Right.

04:25:49.000 I mean, if you take the jerseys of your team and put them on the other team, suddenly you've swung to the other side of the stadium and it's not cheering for them.

04:25:56.000 You've seen all of these videos that people have online and they take a Trump speech and they go to a leftist and they say, Obama made this speech.

04:25:56.000 It's just a team thing.

04:26:04.000 What do you think?

04:26:05.000 And they're like, oh, it's magical.

04:26:07.000 I'm transported.

04:26:08.000 I'm floating.

04:26:09.000 I'm not in Kansas anymore.

04:26:10.000 I'm in the dopamine nirvana drip of mainstream media kibble.

04:26:15.000 Right.

04:26:16.000 And so they all, so they don't care about the content.

04:26:19.000 It's just the team.

04:26:20.000 The left has their team.

04:26:21.000 The right has their team.

04:26:23.000 And there's no principles involved, certainly on the left.

04:26:25.000 I think on the right, the never Trumpers were principle less, although I think they're kind of coming around now.

04:26:30.000 But I see it the other way.

04:26:32.000 There's no moral content to any of this.

04:26:34.000 I see them meeting in the middle because Trump hadn't really accomplished a whole lot until this tax bill and the net neutrality kind of thing.

04:26:41.000 I see both of them kind of coming and going, okay, he's doing some stuff finally at the end of the year.

04:26:44.000 You know, I saw a lot of Trump people are upset that he didn't get the wall done and the Never Trumpers saying, told you so.

04:26:49.000 And now I see pro-Trump people and the Never Trumpers going, all right, this is good right now.

04:26:54.000 This is a good end of year rap.

04:26:58.000 Well, you know, I don't agree that he didn't get much done.

04:27:00.000 It's just that he didn't get stuff done that changes things now.

04:27:03.000 But in terms of, you know, SCOTUS, Gorsuch on the bench, in terms of other stuff that happened behind the scenes, there's a lot of sort of building for the future.

04:27:11.000 I mean, the guy's settling in for another seven years and, you know, all going well.

04:27:14.000 He's going to get them.

04:27:16.000 So I think he's kind of building for the future.

04:27:19.000 You know, it's like saying, well, there's nothing going up on the building.

04:27:21.000 It's like, yeah, but blueprints are being drawn up furiously and bids are being put together.

04:27:24.000 So it takes a while for stuff to manifest.

04:27:27.000 This is one of the big manifestations.

04:27:28.000 And isn't it amazing, Steve?

04:27:31.000 Talk about the ultimate Grinch party.

04:27:33.000 It's like, wait, wait, American workers are getting more money for Christmas?

04:27:37.000 That's the worst thing in the world!

04:27:38.000 I know, I know!

04:27:39.000 Are you kidding?

04:27:40.000 Do you have no idea how this looks?

04:27:42.000 Do you have no idea of the Grinch-like, savage optics of this?

04:27:47.000 People are keeping more of their own money to spend on their families at Christmas?

04:27:47.000 Oh no!

04:27:51.000 I can't see!

04:27:52.000 I had someone tell me, because everyone here gets a salary, which is better than most people out there, and there's a huge, or big, really big, I like to say huge, Christmas bonus incentive.

04:28:03.000 And you know, because the reason for that is with us, Q4 with sponsors, or it used to be YouTube, it's exponentially higher, right?

04:28:10.000 With advertisers, they dump all their ad money.

04:28:12.000 So if we hit these certain things, you guys get really big bonuses.

04:28:14.000 And someone actually bitched about this bill on Twitter. 0.94

04:28:17.000 I don't have it up in front of me, and said, yeah, that's nothing new.

04:28:20.000 My corporate employer used to do this, give us bonuses at the end of the year so they could get a tax break.

04:28:26.000 So, that's because they make a bunch of money at the end of the year.

04:28:29.000 A lot of businesses, like Gerald, he works in wine.

04:28:31.000 He gets most of his orders.

04:28:33.000 If you work in retail, most of your orders.

04:28:34.000 If you work in commercials, most of your orders come in in Q4.

04:28:37.000 As a matter of fact, 70% of next year, Q4, by the way, for people who don't know, means fourth quarter of the year.

04:28:43.000 70% of next year's ad inventory is sold in the fourth quarter of this year because they're making a bet on what their tax burden is going to be the next year.

04:28:52.000 It just, it just, it really does come down to Appealing to selfishness.

04:28:56.000 I really do think that's what it is.

04:28:57.000 People are like, well, they're just doing it to avoid taxes.

04:29:00.000 Yeah, so what you're saying is that if you lower taxes, people get more money.

04:29:00.000 And you got $10,000!

04:29:07.000 I think that's kind of course, and this is true, because the left, every time they want to get rid of something, they raise taxes on it.

04:29:13.000 So they're completely aware.

04:29:14.000 The taxes fundamentally fuel economic decisions.

04:29:17.000 My favorite of the day.

04:29:18.000 Well, there were two, if you don't mind indulge me for a second.

04:29:20.000 Go ahead.

04:29:21.000 Hold on, let me just check the schedule and see.

04:29:23.000 One second, let me check the schedule here, one second.

04:29:25.000 Yep, you got time, you're good.

04:29:26.000 Okay, go ahead.

04:29:26.000 All right.

04:29:27.000 So Bill Kristol tweeted out, isn't there something creepy about corporations giving cash bonuses to employees explicitly because of the passage of certain legislation or because of specific regulatory actions?

04:29:38.000 Doesn't it have something of a road to corporatist serfdom feel to it?

04:29:44.000 I'm sorry, Bill, that people are getting more money around Christmas and that a bunch of companies have raised the minimum amount they'll pay to employees to $15 an hour.

04:29:44.000 I'm sorry.

04:29:52.000 I'm sorry.

04:29:53.000 I have no idea in what universe that is a bad thing.

04:29:56.000 That is a terrible... Oh, no!

04:29:58.000 We're now being enslaved by corporations who are giving us more money out of the goodness of their hearts and the competition of the market.

04:30:05.000 It's like... And Pelosi.

04:30:07.000 Pelosi.

04:30:08.000 Oh, Lord. 0.87

04:30:09.000 Shamefully, Republicans were cheering against the children as they robbed from their future and ransacked the middle class to reward the witch.

04:30:15.000 Okay, Pelosi, Pelosi, Pelosi.

04:30:17.000 Michelle Malkin had a great quote.

04:30:19.000 She said, Hush, woman, your net worth in 2016 was $83 million on a less than $200,000 a year government salary.

04:30:25.000 How is Pelosi worth that much?

04:30:26.000 Nancy Pelosi, the left is very concerned about the children, which is why they're for abortion up to kindergarten, and massive national debts to be passed along to the next generation.

04:30:36.000 But now you see, they care about the children, and it's so funny to watch the left caring about deficits, and it's just amazing.

04:30:41.000 Yeah, there's like a $1.5 trillion deficit over the next ten years.

04:30:46.000 We had $10 trillion added over the last eight.

04:30:48.000 You guys couldn't care less.

04:30:50.000 And I do think that Republicans, Conservatives, need to be concerned about that, need to be consistent.

04:30:53.000 Now here's the deal.

04:30:54.000 That passed, and now Democrats are holding them hostage when it comes to spending cuts.

04:30:58.000 Nothing.

04:30:59.000 They don't want to cut anything.

04:31:00.000 So this is why it's so funny.

04:31:02.000 This is the bias by omission.

04:31:04.000 CNN actually, because if there's a shutdown this time, it'll be the Democrats, just like it was the Republicans last time.

04:31:09.000 We owned it.

04:31:10.000 You know why?

04:31:11.000 We're fine with it.

04:31:12.000 If it comes to, with this kind of an increase in the deficit, this kind of attack, shutdown.

04:31:18.000 We were the villains.

04:31:18.000 And we owned it.

04:31:19.000 Republicans said, fine.

04:31:20.000 But right now, they know that most people don't want to see a shutdown, so it said, Trump colon says Democrats want shutdown.

04:31:28.000 It's like, just say Democrats want the shutdown.

04:31:30.000 But they had to, because they know it's bad, they had to put Trump colon just commenting on them wanting the shutdown.

04:31:35.000 Yeah, I mean, a good example, We've just added now, to our kind of Rolodex here, one more hire.

04:31:41.000 We were going to hire two more people here coming into the new year.

04:31:44.000 Now we're going to hire three.

04:31:45.000 If this bill takes effect very quickly and we see the actual ramifications, people are thinking, yeah, if we have more money, we hire more people.

04:31:53.000 And let's say we hire another person, right, who's unemployed, and I make more money.

04:31:59.000 I don't get the problem with that.

04:32:00.000 I don't understand.

04:32:03.000 Well, here's the thing too, right?

04:32:04.000 So, and this is a little technical, but I really want people to understand this.

04:32:07.000 So there's a big problem with the American tax code, which I won't get into the details of it, but basically it's the difference between territorial and worldwide taxation.

04:32:16.000 So what this means is I think it's about 2.4 trillion dollars.

04:32:20.000 That's trillion dollars that American corporations who are multinationals have parked in overseas bank accounts that they don't want to bring back to the United States because the taxes are going to be ridiculous.

04:32:30.000 At a 45% corporate tax rate, one of the highest in the world.

04:32:34.000 Now, this changes all of that.

04:32:37.000 And it allows them to bring the money back for I think it's about a 15% tax on cash, like an 8% tax on equipment and so on.

04:32:44.000 So this could potentially mean hundreds of billions or even trillions of dollars rolling back into the US economy to be invested, to grow, to raise wages, to drive economic growth.

04:32:55.000 And it seems to me now that the left has simply become A parody of patriotism.

04:33:00.000 I think they're not concerned that the tax bill, the tax cuts are going to fail.

04:33:05.000 They're concerned that it's going to succeed and it's going to transition more people from receiving government money to paying taxes.

04:33:11.000 Because when you pay taxes, suddenly you care about your tax rates.

04:33:15.000 When you're receiving money, not so much.

04:33:16.000 And their whole base could be eviscerated through this process.

04:33:19.000 Well, you were saying that too, right?

04:33:20.000 In another show, Not Gay Jared. 0.82

04:33:21.000 You've been silent for like an hour, so I want people to know you're still alive.

04:33:24.000 When you were in college, you didn't really think about it.

04:33:26.000 And you were never liberal, but you never really thought about taxes and how it would affect you.

04:33:29.000 I didn't know any of this.

04:33:30.000 Now I bet you think about it.

04:33:32.000 Now I bet you think about taxes.

04:33:33.000 Now I bet you get every write-off you possibly can.

04:33:36.000 And you're not necessarily Bernie Sanders wealthy or Nancy Pelosi wealthy, but you do okay.

04:33:41.000 Yeah, you know, it really is, it's amazing to me, like here, let me simplify it because you were getting technical.

04:33:47.000 What we want to do here, the biggest effect is going to be corporations.

04:33:51.000 Yes.

04:33:51.000 Now, without getting too technical, the reason that'll be the biggest effect of this tax bill is because we're going to lower our corporate tax rate from the highest in the industrialized world to just be the same as most European nations.

04:34:05.000 Is that too technical for people out there?

04:34:08.000 You can tweet me and Stefan Molyneux, use the hashtag, CrowderCNNLivestream.

04:34:11.000 We're just going to lower it to say, like, the price of the UK.

04:34:15.000 And I think it was actually Apple.

04:34:17.000 Someone was warning, saying, hey, you're going to have a flux of incoming investments, so you better be ready for that and have infrastructure for that, because now people are... I mean, the United States is the best place to start a business because, obviously, of the environment fostering innovation, but then it's not the best place to...

04:34:33.000 Yeah, yeah, but now it's not it wasn't the best place for people to keep a business now it's going to be both or at least competitive on both and That's a huge deal by the way Let me let me let me end on this because we do have to get going Stefan Molyneux the net neutrality thing Did you not find this hysterical that all youtubers were acting as a net neutrality?

04:34:51.000 And I'm gonna hold a second Google Facebook YouTube.

04:34:53.000 They all support it.

04:34:54.000 They have all clearly censored and Tim Cook of Apple I just think this is the perfect, just the perfect irony was pro-net neutrality and now we find out that they're throttling old phones.

04:35:06.000 No, that's right.

04:35:07.000 Let me ask you this just before we go.

04:35:09.000 What was your first, like, I got my first job when I was like 10, but I started paying taxes when I was 11, when I was working in a bookstore.

04:35:15.000 And you get that first paycheck and you're like, because in your mind you're like, oh, I was making like $2.50 an hour back in the day, right?

04:35:20.000 Oh, I worked, I worked four hours, that's $10, which was, you know, a good chunk of money.

04:35:24.000 Right.

04:35:25.000 And then you get your paycheck and it's like, well, let's just say it's not $10.

04:35:28.000 And I think the fact that people are getting jobs later and later and later means that they just don't get that Oh, OK, I guess all this stuff isn't free.

04:35:36.000 I am paying for it.

04:35:37.000 And when was what was your first big tax whiplash?

04:35:40.000 Well, you know, it's funny because I think in Canada, though, they give it back to you at the end of the year if you're under 18, if I'm not mistaken.

04:35:45.000 So I'm not sure.

04:35:46.000 This was in England, but I don't remember getting anything back.

04:35:49.000 Okay, okay.

04:35:49.000 Well, I don't want to speak out of turn, but I believe they withhold it and then you get it all back when you're under 18.

04:35:54.000 So I don't want someone to say, you're lying.

04:35:55.000 But I remember my dad, my first real taxable, I mean, I'd mowed lawns and shoveled walkways was when I did Arthur.

04:36:00.000 I was the voice of the brain.

04:36:02.000 I started when I was 12.

04:36:03.000 And these were big checks.

04:36:04.000 So they weren't they weren't small checks because it was it was the number nine rated show of the 90s as far as viewership.

04:36:04.000 Right.

04:36:10.000 And that being said, they weren't huge.

04:36:13.000 People would think you always think you make more.

04:36:14.000 But it was big enough to actually see the taxes.

04:36:16.000 And my dad sat me down and said, OK, this is basically Social Security.

04:36:21.000 This is, you know, I don't know if that's what the word is in English.

04:36:27.000 That's how we call it in French.

04:36:28.000 I actually have never thought of Medicare.

04:36:31.000 Socialized healthcare.

04:36:32.000 This is what you're paying for.

04:36:33.000 And I'm going like, oh, but that's a lot.

04:36:35.000 And he said, yeah.

04:36:36.000 I said, but I remember as a kid, it's been like, but our healthcare is really bad.

04:36:39.000 Mom had to wait over a year to get an MRI. 1.00

04:36:42.000 He said, yeah.

04:36:43.000 And I said, okay.

04:36:44.000 He goes, so what do you think about that?

04:36:46.000 And that's when I became a conservative.

04:36:47.000 12 years old.

04:36:48.000 My first Arthur paycheck.

04:36:49.000 Yeah.

04:36:51.000 Yeah, no, and so the fact that a lot of kids aren't getting jobs until their 20s, and then maybe they get low rent jobs where their tax brackets aren't that high, but yeah, the longer you can push off people getting a job, the more that you can make them think that there's all this just free stuff in the world and only mean people want to keep poor people from getting it.

04:37:06.000 Well, they can just fight for $15, which is ironic because I think like four companies, AT&T, I think it was Boeing, like four major Fortune 500, probably top 50 companies as far as employers in the United States said, they're going to be raising their minimum wage up to $15 an hour.

04:37:19.000 So look, there are two ways to do it.

04:37:21.000 Force businesses to do it and charge them more and tax them more or give them more money.

04:37:25.000 And now we have the fight for $15.

04:37:27.000 All right, Stefan Molyneux, where's the best place for people to find you, brother?

04:37:29.000 You've been fantastic and helped relieve me of hosting duties for if only a moment.

04:37:34.000 Well, freedomainradio.com or youtube.com slash freedomainradio are the two places to get a hold of the big chatty foreheads ramblings. 1.00

04:37:42.000 Absolutely.

04:37:43.000 And listen, if you want the segment from this for your own channel, you can get it because this is 16 hours, so anyone can piecemeal what they want.

04:37:49.000 I'm already tired.

04:37:50.000 I don't know how I'm going to make it.

04:37:51.000 It's not I have 12 hours to go.

04:37:53.000 Oh, my God.

04:37:54.000 All right.

04:37:55.000 12 hours to go.

04:37:56.000 It's 16 hours.

04:37:56.000 We were going to do a 24 hour live stream.

04:37:58.000 Are you crazy? 1.00

04:37:59.000 Aren't you your own boss? 1.00

04:38:02.000 How much salt do you have for a boss that he's putting you in the salt mines of capital for this long? 1.00

04:38:06.000 What are you, crazy? 0.99

04:38:07.000 My audience... You should start a union against yourself! 0.99

04:38:11.000 I was waterboarded last year and I had this idea.

04:38:13.000 It was a joke.

04:38:14.000 And everyone laughed in the pitch me.

04:38:15.000 I said, what's worse than waterboarding?

04:38:16.000 I said, I could watch CNN for 24 hours.

04:38:19.000 Ha ha ha ha ha.

04:38:20.000 And everyone got quiet.

04:38:20.000 Be your own boss.

04:38:21.000 Taste the freedom of things that would be illegal if someone forced you to do it.

04:38:26.000 Actually, you know what?

04:38:27.000 In Guantanamo Bay, 16 hours or more was considered sleep deprivation.

04:38:27.000 It is!

04:38:31.000 You add Don Lemon to the mix.

04:38:34.000 You know what you need to do, is you need to do, I'm gonna do my next Christmas show driving a big truck, because there's no way you could do it this long without it being completely illegal.

04:38:42.000 That's what you need, of course. 0.99

04:38:43.000 Shit shower and shave breaks every couple of hours. 1.00

04:38:45.000 No, I don't get it. 0.99

04:38:46.000 I'm gonna get a lunch break at some point.

04:38:48.000 But you helped me, uh, riding Copa.

04:38:49.000 Stefan Molyneux, thank you very much!

04:38:51.000 We must go!

04:38:51.000 Bye, sir!

04:38:52.000 Thanks, bye.

04:38:53.000 And, uh, he's right.

04:38:54.000 I don't know why I did this.

04:38:55.000 Hey, in the lighting, I feel like my mouth is like a black hole.

04:38:58.000 Is that just the monitor?

04:39:01.000 My teeth are not black, just so you know.

04:39:03.000 Oh, my wife is in here. 1.00

04:39:05.000 What is this?

04:39:05.000 Oh, is my voice—does my voice sound rough?

04:39:10.000 Sorry.

04:39:12.000 Sorry.

04:39:12.000 That's my hot wife, by the way.

04:39:15.000 She wants to get out quickly.

04:39:16.000 All right, take—take Opera with you, sweetheart.

04:39:18.000 She's, uh... Okay, all right, let's go.

04:39:21.000 Oh, CNN poll.

04:39:21.000 Trump approval at 35%.

04:39:22.000 Hey, you know what?

04:39:23.000 Hey, you know what?

04:39:25.000 I was going to say, wife!

04:39:29.000 I have an extra mug that I don't need.

04:39:31.000 I have three mugs here.

04:39:32.000 Two is about the limit before I start spilling something.

04:39:34.000 Thank you.

04:39:36.000 I don't like to mix... This is just water.

04:39:38.000 I don't like to mix water and coffee mugs because there's always a sheen of oil when you start putting water in it.

04:39:38.000 This is good.

04:39:38.000 I'll keep this.

04:39:43.000 I don't know.

04:39:44.000 It just makes me feel pretty gross.

04:39:46.000 You want to take a three-minute break?

04:39:48.000 I got something queued up for us.

04:39:49.000 What do we have queued up for?

04:39:50.000 Well, hold on a second.

04:39:51.000 Hold on a second.

04:39:52.000 Rove, keep Trump off 2018 campaign trail.

04:39:56.000 35% disapproval rating.

04:39:56.000 All right, guys, we need to keep this trending.

04:39:58.000 If you don't right now, but tonight, we really need this to be trending.

04:40:03.000 Hold on.

04:40:03.000 Before we go, Sven has something to say.

04:40:06.000 Do we want to thank some more people on Twitter?

04:40:10.000 Yes, really quickly.

04:40:11.000 Let's read them out.

04:40:11.000 People who are joining.

04:40:12.000 People who have joined Mug Club.

04:40:13.000 Let's go to the overlays.

04:40:15.000 Hold on one second.

04:40:18.000 First of all, this guy, I don't know how they do it.

04:40:21.000 At NeroDB, he drew you already.

04:40:24.000 And he joined Mug Club?

04:40:24.000 Wow!

04:40:28.000 I don't know about that.

04:40:29.000 If he does that, he's probably already a member, let's be honest.

04:40:31.000 Well, thank you so much.

04:40:32.000 Listen, what's his name?

04:40:34.000 His name is Nero, at NeroDB underscore.

04:40:37.000 Okay, either Sven or, you know what, at CourtneyScoffs.

04:40:39.000 We'll follow you and get your info.

04:40:41.000 We'll get you a free t-shirt, my friend.

04:40:43.000 Thank you for the... Bring that up one more time, Sven.

04:40:46.000 Hey, Sound Guy, bring this CNN down just as we do this really quickly.

04:40:50.000 Republicans out-compete?

04:40:51.000 Alright, they're just doing more anti-Trump stuff.

04:40:53.000 We'll get back to it once they get to something substantive.

04:40:55.000 Okay, give us some more, Sven.

04:40:57.000 Alright, then.

04:40:58.000 I mean, I'm sure I've missed a lot of people now, but, you know.

04:41:01.000 So we'll thank Justin Rodriguez who signed up.

04:41:04.000 Thank you very much.

04:41:05.000 Thank you.

04:41:06.000 Thank you very much!

04:41:08.000 Shane Hicks.

04:41:10.000 Thank you very much.

04:41:11.000 Boom.

04:41:12.000 Pat Jennings, add more people.

04:41:13.000 Thank you very much.

04:41:14.000 Thank you very much to everyone who, every time you join Mug Club, John King makes a face like he just made.

04:41:23.000 Did Muhammad get sexually harassed in hell?

04:41:26.000 I hope not. 0.51

04:41:27.000 But he did.

04:41:27.000 You decide.

04:41:28.000 He did, though.

04:41:29.000 There's no guessing game.

04:41:29.000 He did.

04:41:30.000 Muhammad was sexually harassed in hell. 0.99

04:41:32.000 Every time you join the Mug Club, Muhammad is tortured in hell. 0.99

04:41:37.000 Now, what am I saying? 0.98

04:41:38.000 Mohammed's in hell. 1.00

04:41:39.000 What do we have queued up?

04:41:40.000 Because I know we've got three minutes.

04:41:41.000 This is a quick best of.

04:41:42.000 It's a little recap of our year.

04:41:43.000 It's a little, uh, little... Okay, quick best of, just so I can take a break to go to the restroom, and I will be back, and hopefully the honey lemon ginger tea will help, uh, and we'll keep the tweeting going.

04:41:54.000 Hashtag CrowderCNN livestream!

04:41:56.000 See you in three minutes. 0.99

04:41:58.000 Come here, you little sh**. 1.00

04:42:08.000 Bye. 1.00

04:42:13.000 - What's that unbelievable discussion? - It's an economic thing.

04:42:36.000 - What?

04:42:39.000 What?

04:42:42.000 I thought I heard it off, William! 0.99

04:42:44.000 No, you piss off! 0.99

04:42:45.000 No, you piss off, William! 0.99

04:42:46.000 No, you first! 0.99

04:42:48.000 No, you! 1.00

04:42:49.000 No, you! 1.00

04:42:51.000 No, you piss off! 1.00

04:42:51.000 You first! 1.00

04:42:53.000 What?

04:42:53.000 No, I just... I didn't hear... I can't hear you!

04:42:53.000 What?

04:42:57.000 No, you piss off, William Wallace! 0.51

04:42:59.000 Jinx! 0.99

04:42:59.000 you owe me a grog what are you doing? 0.99

04:43:20.000 Huh?

04:43:22.000 Oh, I'm producing now.

04:43:24.000 What?

04:43:24.000 Huh?

04:43:26.000 What's he doing here?

04:43:29.000 I'm replacing Jared now.

04:43:31.000 No, you're not.

04:43:32.000 Have you joined the lock-up?

04:44:01.000 Let's give Aisha a little bit of a black eye. 1.00

04:44:13.000 I think that's her next step.

04:44:14.000 Muhammad, of course, did strike Aisha, but only lightly, causing her great pain. 1.00

04:44:20.000 He's gonna call Aisha, motherfuckers. 1.00

04:44:27.000 Oh, no! 1.00

04:44:28.000 Oh, yeah. 1.00

04:44:29.000 You just called the president of the United States a big bitch. 1.00

04:44:38.000 You will be on the team. 1.00

04:44:41.000 How can you be so selfish?

04:44:44.000 Turn me up on the...

04:45:03.000 You're welcome for that.

04:45:06.000 And we are back with the old CNN.

04:45:08.000 What are they up to now?

04:45:10.000 It's still commercial break time.

04:45:12.000 But we wanted to remind people out there that we do have some new swag.

04:45:17.000 We have a louderwithcrowdofshop.com.

04:45:18.000 I feel like I don't, I never did this before I met Stephen.

04:45:21.000 You know that?

04:45:22.000 I never did this.

04:45:25.000 I feel like it, it does kind of reset your brain a little bit.

04:45:28.000 We do have some new swag.

04:45:29.000 louderwithcrowdofshop.com.

04:45:31.000 We got that Ready Sven.

04:45:34.000 There we go.

04:45:35.000 The new Crowder, official Crowder shirt.

04:45:35.000 There it is.

04:45:38.000 You can buy it now, as of today, as of brand new and available.

04:45:43.000 It probably won't make it before, for Christmas.

04:45:45.000 If I'm being honest, I wish I can feed you false hope.

04:45:50.000 Up to 2X.

04:45:51.000 We'll be getting probably bigger sizes in soon for that one.

04:45:55.000 But yeah, you can go check that out.

04:45:57.000 See it.

04:45:58.000 There's still some great Christmas gifts on there for the whole family.

04:46:02.000 Sven.

04:46:04.000 Do we have any new people joining?

04:46:05.000 Do we have any updates on your Mug Club there?

04:46:09.000 I think I still have some, like this guy over here, Michael Hafna.

04:46:12.000 Thank you very much for joining.

04:46:14.000 But yeah, I have to go through Twitter first.

04:46:17.000 Okay.

04:46:18.000 We can't even keep up.

04:46:19.000 It's just too much.

04:46:20.000 Keep sending them in, though.

04:46:20.000 Can't keep up.

04:46:21.000 We will try to keep up with you as you send in your confirmations and letting us know that you subscribed.

04:46:28.000 Very happy to have you with us and on board the Mug Club ship.

04:46:34.000 Hand-knit mug.

04:46:35.000 Mine's filled with ginger tea at the moment.

04:46:39.000 It burns my throat a little bit, but kind of in a good way.

04:46:41.000 I kind of like.

04:46:43.000 But yeah, we were waiting for CNN.

04:46:46.000 You know, the commercial breaks turned out to be my favorite parts.

04:46:49.000 Of the whole thing.

04:46:50.000 It started smelling like gross man in here.

04:46:53.000 I understand that.

04:46:55.000 But, oh, we have, we bring some audio back in here.

04:46:59.000 Some CNNs back.

04:47:00.000 Who is this guy again?

04:47:01.000 Why do you keep writing his name?

04:47:02.000 John King.

04:47:05.000 John King. 0.76

04:47:05.000 It's a boring white guy name. 0.76

04:47:06.000 That's why it's hard. 0.64

04:47:07.000 All right, guys, this is way harder than I thought it was going to be.

04:47:12.000 I'm just trying to not hit Hopper when I recline.

04:47:15.000 Use of our Walter sponsorship if we... Blow ourselves off?

04:47:15.000 Okay.

04:47:17.000 Blow ourselves away?

04:47:18.000 I don't think so.

04:47:19.000 to not hit hopper when I recline.

04:47:20.000 Okay.

04:47:22.000 Is there a misuse of our wall for sponsorship if we blow ourselves off?

04:47:27.000 Yeah.

04:47:27.000 Blow ourselves away?

04:47:28.000 I don't think so.

04:47:30.000 Hold on one second here.

04:47:30.000 You got it.

04:47:32.000 There we go.

04:47:33.000 All right.

04:47:34.000 Same back time.

04:47:35.000 By the way, unless it happened while I was gone, still no mention yet of Uranium One.

04:47:40.000 Nothing?

04:47:40.000 No, nothing.

04:47:41.000 Nothing.

04:47:42.000 No.

04:47:44.000 That's okay.

04:47:44.000 You can keep the volume up here, Senator Edward, as long as we're going, the two of us.

04:47:47.000 With this warning.

04:47:49.000 Firing Mueller would be a ghost.

04:47:50.000 We get it.

04:47:51.000 He's not firing Mueller.

04:47:52.000 Oh, this isn't even live.

04:47:53.000 This is a replay.

04:47:54.000 This is also something, by the way, hashtag CrowderCNN livestream.

04:47:57.000 Keep it going.

04:47:58.000 The whole reason for this, yeah, is it torture?

04:48:01.000 But Jared knows, understands the reason for this.

04:48:01.000 Absolutely.

04:48:04.000 It was to show people Unedited.

04:48:06.000 So people can watch this at any point.

04:48:08.000 This will be archived 16 hours through an entire news cycle.

04:48:08.000 They'll go back.

04:48:13.000 Just how biased they are.

04:48:14.000 Do you see the problem that just happened there?

04:48:15.000 If you tuned in, you would have thought that was live.

04:48:18.000 You would have thought, well, that's just newsworthy.

04:48:20.000 They're just covering a live speech right now about Mueller.

04:48:23.000 They're not.

04:48:24.000 Breaking news reruns.

04:48:25.000 They're rerunning anti-Trump speeches, whether it's someone at the UN, or they rerun anti-Republican, anti-conservative speeches, and it's just on CNN.

04:48:35.000 And if you just were to tune into CNN right now, you'd think that's what was going on.

04:48:38.000 Here's a question.

04:48:39.000 Do you think that they were always so bad, and it's becoming more and more exposed?

04:48:45.000 Or do you think Trump kind of called them out, got in a pissing competition, and then they just doubled down?

04:48:52.000 No, I think it's always been this bad.

04:48:53.000 I've always maintained that it's been this bad.

04:48:54.000 I mean, you go back, people think Walter Cronkite was a journalist.

04:48:57.000 That's true, but even like a few years ago, we thought, okay, CNN's kind of the level-headed one of the... No, I didn't.

04:49:01.000 You don't think so?

04:49:02.000 No, you did.

04:49:03.000 You did when you came to work for me, because you didn't really know.

04:49:05.000 You were never, and I'm saying this, I'm not saying this to insult you, he was never a liberal, but you would admit you were not nearly as aware of this.

04:49:13.000 I always said, I've always said, I don't really, I don't have a problem with MSNBC because they're honest.

04:49:17.000 The problem I have with CNN is they try and act as though this is down the middle and it's a bias by omission.

04:49:22.000 Right.

04:49:22.000 So it's like, you know, right now, finally, finally, for the first time, it's 1245 Eastern.

04:49:29.000 White House, there's no consideration of firing special counsel.

04:49:32.000 But they said that yesterday.

04:49:35.000 Hashtag inside politics.

04:49:36.000 They said it yesterday.

04:49:38.000 This is not new.

04:49:39.000 So they just, if they just ignore.

04:49:42.000 What the White House said yesterday and then today go on about how firing Mueller would be a horrible mistake.

04:49:48.000 And now it makes it seem, if you were just watching CNN today, as though, well, it took Donald Trump long enough to say we wouldn't do it.

04:49:54.000 Remember when they said it took him long enough to condemn the white supremacists?

04:49:57.000 Well, that's because you were watching CNN.

04:49:59.000 He did it right away.

04:50:01.000 And they did it again!

04:50:03.000 They said, no, we're not firing Mueller yesterday.

04:50:05.000 But if you're watching CNN until 1246 today, you would think they might still be firing Mueller.

04:50:12.000 I hate these panels.

04:50:13.000 It's just like professional.

04:50:14.000 And I hate them on any network, to be fair.

04:50:17.000 To be fair, we're effectively doing a panel in onesies in a recliner right now.

04:50:20.000 This is true.

04:50:21.000 But we're making fun of their panel, like the cool kids, so it's okay.

04:50:24.000 What do you think is the most egregious sin from CNN?

04:50:27.000 What do you think is the worst?

04:50:28.000 29% say no, but among Republicans, 48% say no.

04:50:31.000 You let me know.

04:50:33.000 Tweet me, at S. Crowder, hashtag CrowderCNNLivestream.

04:50:35.000 What do you think is the most egregious sin from CNN?

04:50:38.000 What do you think is the worst?

04:50:40.000 Do you think it's the bias when they have people like Don Lemon who are blatantly left?

04:50:44.000 Or do you find it worse?

04:50:44.000 As a matter of fact, let's get a poll up here.

04:50:46.000 Let's get a poll on the Twitter cycle.

04:50:49.000 Let's get a poll up on Twitter.

04:50:51.000 What is worse?

04:50:52.000 The proactive liberal propaganda or the constant soft bias by omission?

04:50:58.000 The ones that people don't know about?

04:51:00.000 I think it's, you know, I love Keith Olbermann being out there for GQ.

04:51:04.000 I think it makes it better for us.

04:51:06.000 But when they go forward and they run something as though it's live and it's clearly a rerun, that's where I have a problem.

04:51:12.000 That's where I say, listen, you're not being honest about what you're doing here.

04:51:15.000 To me, that's far, far worse than someone, you know, than Rachel Maddow.

04:51:20.000 John King, he looks like the postman from Santa Claus is Coming to Town, the one who tells the story, and his face looks like clay.

04:51:29.000 He's talking about the postman who's like, this story of Chris Strangle.

04:51:33.000 Or like if, I don't know, Martin Short just overinflated himself.

04:51:40.000 Did anyone get the poll up?

04:51:43.000 I'm going to get my nails.

04:51:44.000 What's the man's biggest sin?

04:51:44.000 Okay, all right.

04:51:46.000 Most egregious.

04:51:49.000 Blatant leftist propaganda or the constant lies by omission.

04:51:54.000 The constant soft bias.

04:51:56.000 Before we even get to the poll, I'm sure I already have some answers here.

04:51:59.000 Is it biased by omission?

04:52:00.000 a question of, is that really what happened?

04:52:03.000 And to this end, if you're the best...

04:52:05.000 Was it biased by omission?

04:52:07.000 Omission.

04:52:08.000 So, you know, Jared's tweeting this out right now, so if there's a typo, don't blame me. - Interviewed by the Mueller team.

04:52:14.000 What's going on with the U.N.

04:52:15.000 vote?

04:52:15.000 Well, listen, the U.N., it was 100-something to, like, it was overwhelmingly, for someone asking me, I think it's Logan Barrett, you were asking me what's going on with the U.N., it's overwhelmingly they want to condemn Donald Trump for moving the embassy, and no mention yet that in 1995 it passed by 300-something to, like, 90 in the House to recognize uh the embassy of jerusalem of the embassy of israel in jerusalem there's they haven't even mentioned that so if you don't have any here's the thing if you have no context as to history

04:52:43.000 if you don't know that clinton george w bush barack obama and donald trump have all said we're going to recognize the embassy of jerusalem as in uh embassy my brain is already getting imagine when we had alcohol to the mix The, the embassy of Israel is Jerusalem. 0.99

04:53:01.000 If you have no historical context, you're going to think Trump's a dick. 0.95

04:53:04.000 Why is he doing that? 1.00

04:53:05.000 What a bully. 0.56

04:53:06.000 He's the only one doing what everyone else said they were going to do. 0.94

04:53:09.000 And I'm not a huge Trump fan.

04:53:10.000 Obama and Clinton.

04:53:11.000 Oh yeah, Obama and Clinton.

04:53:12.000 It started with Clinton.

04:53:13.000 Yeah.

04:53:15.000 By the way, I don't necessarily think it's a bad thing to go after Mueller a little bit.

04:53:18.000 Is that what I said?

04:53:19.000 You haven't put this out yet?

04:53:19.000 Yeah.

04:53:21.000 No, you said hold for a second.

04:53:22.000 Late in the eyes.

04:53:25.000 All right.

04:53:25.000 By the way, I don't necessarily think it's a bad thing to go after Mueller a little bit.

04:53:31.000 He's kind of a dick. 0.99

04:53:35.000 I agree. 1.00

04:53:35.000 Let's be honest. 1.00

04:53:36.000 If nothing else, wherever you line up, and I don't like that Donald Trump has done this, and I certainly don't like that Barack Obama has done this, the politicization of federal bureaus, whether it's the FBI, whether it's the NSA, I think you see that it really does depend on who's in office and what the politics are of the people at the helm of those places, what happens.

04:53:52.000 I mean, you saw Republicans and Democrats both love and hate James Comey and flip-flopped twice on that in about the span of... A month?

04:54:00.000 Maybe a month.

04:54:01.000 Yeah.

04:54:02.000 Maybe a month. 0.94

04:54:02.000 It's ridiculous. 0.94

04:54:03.000 So, you just see, people, it really is about political expediency. 0.94

04:54:07.000 So let's not act like the Mueller thing is about exposing some deep, dark secret.

04:54:10.000 What, you think CNN doesn't know there's corruption?

04:54:12.000 You think CNN really doesn't think there was corruption in the Obama administration?

04:54:16.000 Him using the IRS?

04:54:17.000 You think they never talked about it?

04:54:18.000 You think they don't know?

04:54:19.000 It's not like they care.

04:54:20.000 Just like it's not as though Apple cares about net neutrality.

04:54:23.000 It's not as though Facebook and Google want you to have a free and open internet.

04:54:27.000 There's always an angle, okay?

04:54:28.000 Be aware, just don't drink the Kool-Aid.

04:54:29.000 Don't drink that Kool-Aid.

04:54:31.000 Well, I always said, too, that that's something that I think is striking about the current presidency and the one previous.

04:54:38.000 It's not that so much that media got so bad so fast, as much as it is they went from complete omission of everything Obama ever did.

04:54:48.000 It wasn't Obama.

04:54:49.000 It wasn't the Obama network, the Obama hate network.

04:54:51.000 No.

04:54:52.000 So they never talked about anything Obama did.

04:54:54.000 And now they talk about and speculate everything Trump even could possibly do.

04:54:59.000 That's a good point.

04:55:00.000 So it's the contrast.

04:55:01.000 It's about, are they applying their standards equally?

04:55:04.000 If you were to just, like, I mean, I'm pretty, we pretty much take a, I mean, I got so much hate because I took a, dropped a steaming pile.

04:55:04.000 Yeah.

04:55:11.000 On Donald Trump, when he came out and when, I was like, he was a Democrat his whole life. 1.00

04:55:16.000 Talked about, when he was talking about grab by the pussy, I was like, this is just ridiculous. 1.00

04:55:19.000 First off, it's not sexual harassment. 1.00

04:55:21.000 I never thought it was rape or an omission of sexual assault.

04:55:23.000 What bothered me more was he was talking about the Access Hollywood woman, the wife, who was a wife of someone. 1.00

04:55:27.000 I was like, if Trump talked that way about my wife, I'd kick his ass. 1.00

04:55:30.000 And you even had Trump hard, who are so diehard Trump fans, they were like, you really think you could kick Donald Trump's ass? 1.00

04:55:37.000 Yes. 1.00

04:55:38.000 Yes.

04:55:39.000 But I praise him where it's fair. 0.99

04:55:41.000 I took a big old steaming crap on... Steven Seagal is Batman, I'm sure. 0.98

04:55:44.000 Yes, and Steven Seagal is a real fighter. 0.99

04:55:47.000 That's a good point.

04:55:48.000 It's like Dinesh D'Souza said.

04:55:49.000 There have been plenty of people who have committed campaign finance violations.

04:55:53.000 And he did do it.

04:55:55.000 But he's the only person who went to jail the way he did for doing that.

04:55:59.000 Is the law applied equally?

04:56:01.000 Are the journalistic standards applied equally?

04:56:04.000 And the only person... I love it when you watch House of Cards.

04:56:08.000 Or you watch... Actually, House of Cards is actually... I don't see House of Cards for a show that's political, with a bunch of liberals in it.

04:56:13.000 It's probably the most apolitical show I think I've watched. 0.99

04:56:16.000 As far as just everyone sucks. 0.99

04:56:16.000 Yeah. 0.99

04:56:18.000 And pretty much all the bad guys are Democrats.

04:56:20.000 And Republicans.

04:56:21.000 Conway was a bad guy, too.

04:56:22.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

04:56:23.000 Conway wasn't a good guy.

04:56:24.000 Like, basically, there are no good people.

04:56:25.000 It just surprises me, because I thought, I don't want to watch House of Cards because of how liberal... And it wasn't.

04:56:29.000 It didn't end up being very liberal.

04:56:30.000 It sounded like West Wing would be one that they're pretty hard on.

04:56:33.000 West Wing was pretty hard on Republicans.

04:56:35.000 And then he did the newsroom, that rant that we rebutted.

04:56:35.000 You know, Sorkin is.

04:56:38.000 They're really pushing the SE Cup show, I guess.

04:56:40.000 Oh, it's on HLN.

04:56:42.000 Oh, sorry, SE.

04:56:46.000 I'm sorry.

04:56:47.000 I like SE Cup, but if you want people to watch it at SE, come on this show.

04:56:51.000 We'll promote it for you.

04:56:52.000 And HLN will see a rating spike.

04:56:55.000 I know that sounds cocky, but HLN, oh, my God, that's where dreams go to die.

04:56:58.000 That's true.

04:56:59.000 By the way, we already have over 16,000 people watching this.

04:57:02.000 That's more than CNN has watching their show.

04:57:06.000 No, no, no, no.

04:57:06.000 Here's the thing, though.

04:57:07.000 It's also not measured the same.

04:57:08.000 CNN, just the way they measure it, It's not like a rolling average.

04:57:13.000 So remember like election night we had 35 people watching, but once it was archived it was a million people?

04:57:17.000 We had 35,000 people on election night, but then it was a million people when it was archived.

04:57:17.000 35,000 people.

04:57:22.000 Yeah, that's true.

04:57:24.000 So it's a different kind of average the way they do it online.

04:57:25.000 It's actually accurate.

04:57:27.000 There was something else I was going to say.

04:57:28.000 That's a good segue into how bad CNN's polls suck in general.

04:57:31.000 The ratings are awful.

04:57:32.000 funny is cnn ratings are off does anyone's okay hold on a sudden let me look at eighth or tenth of all the news you have some of the responses fan the tweets or do you mean mug club joins yeah i'm not up joins no no i meant responses to the poll let me see here i've got a couple um what does uh from eric says what does u.s condemning the u.s actually entitled though it just seems like political jibber jabber that's the point that's the entire point eric m not pc just c Omission is a lot worse because it's harder to prove them wrong.

04:57:57.000 Lies are not a big deal because you can produce the truth.

04:58:00.000 That's what I think. 0.83

04:58:01.000 What I think is actually worse, this guy is the guy on the Bravo network, the queer in the chair. 1.00

04:58:01.000 Here's the thing. 1.00

04:58:06.000 That's who this guy is.

04:58:07.000 Well, him and Anderson Cooper.

04:58:07.000 I guess he has a show.

04:58:10.000 You don't think when they yell cut, that just becomes one big Coke-fueled orgy? 0.73

04:58:13.000 Come on now.

04:58:14.000 They replaced Kathy Griffin with this guy and Anderson Cooper. 0.67

04:58:17.000 I would say Orgy.

04:58:18.000 Orgy doesn't imply exclusivity.

04:58:20.000 I think theirs is pretty exclusive.

04:58:22.000 Anderson Cooper gets out of his straight man voice in the show.

04:58:25.000 Yeah.

04:58:26.000 And then he catches himself.

04:58:27.000 And he would do that every now and then with Kathy Griffin, where he would sit there and he would speak and he would say, well, the New Year's ball is going to...

04:58:33.000 Stop it! 0.99

04:58:34.000 And he would go back to it.

04:58:35.000 Watch this.

04:58:36.000 When he has a queen like this guy, I don't know the guy's name, but he has that Bravo, What Else Happened, that show, or E!

04:58:41.000 Network.

04:58:41.000 Someone can let me know who it is.

04:58:42.000 Watch. 0.95

04:58:43.000 Anderson Cooper is going to sound more gay than any New Year's Eve prior. 0.95

04:58:47.000 Watch. 0.98

04:58:48.000 Mark my words. 0.97

04:58:49.000 Mark my words and there will be a compilation of my words and Anderson Cooper acting super gay. 0.89

04:58:55.000 What is more aggressively aggressive? 0.98

04:58:57.000 Blatant lies.

04:58:58.000 I'm eating.

04:58:59.000 Calm Crowder.

04:59:02.000 What's this?

04:59:02.000 What?

04:59:03.000 What is this?

04:59:03.000 He spoke today?

04:59:04.000 That just said earlier.

04:59:05.000 I guess I didn't know that.

04:59:05.000 Did Al Franken speak today?

04:59:07.000 Now keep in mind we've only been watching CNN today, right?

04:59:10.000 I guess the president forgot about that.

04:59:13.000 He spoke today?

04:59:14.000 Yeah.

04:59:16.000 That just said earlier.

04:59:17.000 Did all Franken speak today?

04:59:19.000 He says he's not going to leave public life, but pretty much pack up and get out.

04:59:23.000 This is an example of how much...

04:59:24.000 I guess I didn't know that.

04:59:25.000 Now, keep in mind, we've only been watching CNN today, right?

04:59:28.000 So all of the real news, we don't know about.

04:59:30.000 So if Franken spoke earlier today, if it wasn't becoming of the Democratic Party, we didn't see about it.

04:59:37.000 And that's a good example today.

04:59:38.000 What we know about is only what CNN is telling us. 0.99

04:59:41.000 So I want you guys to see, if I say, let me ask you this, if I say Al Franken spoke today, do you think of me as an idiot? 0.98

04:59:48.000 Do I sound uninformed? 0.98

04:59:49.000 I'm a CNN viewer today.

04:59:54.000 I am only a CNN viewer today.

04:59:57.000 He spoke today.

04:59:57.000 Yeah, he did.

05:00:00.000 People saying bias by omission is more egregious in my opinion.

05:00:06.000 A lot of people saying that.

05:00:07.000 A lot of people answering that poll that way.

05:00:10.000 Yeah, a lot of people, you know what, I agree with you. 0.99

05:00:15.000 You know, a good example would be the Russian pissing prostitute story. 1.00

05:00:17.000 CNN, Russian pissing prostitutes, or whatever it was, peeing on furniture, peeing on Trump, whatever it was, it was fake. 1.00

05:00:23.000 And the thing that bothers me is they just move on. 0.99

05:00:25.000 And when they talk about the Trump dossier, or sometimes they'll even reference it.

05:00:28.000 It's like, hold on, do you mean the fake dossier?

05:00:31.000 They don't actually reference.

05:00:34.000 What the lie was.

05:00:35.000 And this is one thing.

05:00:37.000 I would love, tweet me, at S. Crowder, and use the hashtag, hashtag CrowderCNNLivestream.

05:00:43.000 Why would CNN protect their source?

05:00:46.000 The source of false stories that embarrass them?

05:00:50.000 It doesn't make sense to me.

05:00:50.000 Why do you think?

05:00:52.000 This is me going, Jesse Ventura know the facts.

05:00:55.000 I better not do that much if I want to.

05:00:57.000 No Bernie voice today if I want to make it to the end.

05:00:59.000 Why would they protect their source?

05:01:02.000 All of them, pretty much.

05:01:03.000 Well, yeah, especially when the story was fake, why wouldn't they?

05:01:06.000 I mean, it's not like they're not in the business of throwing people under the bus.

05:01:09.000 That's all CNN does. 0.54

05:01:11.000 That's all Barack Obama did.

05:01:12.000 He threw everyone under the bus.

05:01:13.000 I don't know how to turn off the ding from these notifications.

05:01:15.000 Is it bothering anyone?

05:01:16.000 Can you hear it on the mic or no?

05:01:17.000 Okay, good.

05:01:17.000 No.

05:01:18.000 Why would they be protecting a source that embarrassed them?

05:01:23.000 Unless revealing the source is more damning.

05:01:26.000 Unless it's more embarrassing for them.

05:01:28.000 It's because, like any bad, like Big Bang Theory, you might have a bad episode, but you've got to keep writing for the next one.

05:01:35.000 Yeah, I keep swinging the bat.

05:01:36.000 I guess.

05:01:37.000 Come up with the next BS.

05:01:38.000 It's one weighted bat.

05:01:39.000 It's the same sort, just recycled over and over again.

05:01:41.000 I don't know, I would like to hear your theories on it.

05:01:43.000 Hold on, yeah, we have Sven Computer, said he has something for us.

05:01:45.000 What do you have?

05:01:46.000 So, Franklin tweeted that he's giving a series of foul speeches.

05:01:48.000 A series of foul speeches.

05:01:50.000 So that's from yesterday, but that's what he's doing.

05:01:52.000 So he's going to beat the drum a little bit.

05:01:54.000 So is he not officially resigned?

05:01:56.000 Apparently not.

05:01:58.000 Am I the only one who thought he had officially resigned?

05:02:00.000 Didn't everyone else hear?

05:02:01.000 And by the way, I can't hear you.

05:02:02.000 I can't hear you.

05:02:04.000 Can you hear me now?

05:02:05.000 No.

05:02:06.000 Beep, beep, bop, bop.

05:02:07.000 Okay.

05:02:08.000 Oh, hey.

05:02:10.000 My algorithm is too good to do beeping.

05:02:12.000 No, your AI is not that advanced yet.

05:02:12.000 Oh yeah, well no.

05:02:14.000 Maybe at contract renewal if you do a good job.

05:02:16.000 Alright.

05:02:17.000 Beep, beep. 0.92

05:02:18.000 So didn't you think that Sven Computer?

05:02:21.000 Didn't you think he was retired?

05:02:23.000 No, because I'm informed.

05:02:27.000 You didn't think he resigned?

05:02:28.000 Well, he kind of tased the resigning part.

05:02:32.000 Beep beep.

05:02:32.000 But then it was kind of clear that he said he still had a couple of weeks to go.

05:02:37.000 So in the coming weeks, he kind of still left it open.

05:02:39.000 So I think he was just waiting for the Roy Moore thing.

05:02:41.000 Beep beep bop.

05:02:43.000 It always surprises me when people resign.

05:02:45.000 The beep beep bop never gets old for me.

05:02:47.000 Never gets old.

05:02:48.000 But how awkward must it be when you resign and you stick around for months?

05:02:54.000 Or weeks?

05:02:55.000 That's weird.

05:02:57.000 Yeah.

05:02:58.000 Do we have a Twitter card for Josh Wolf?

05:02:58.000 Hold on a second.

05:03:00.000 We're looking at it and people are saying we don't.

05:03:02.000 I'm pretty sure we do.

05:03:03.000 We don't.

05:03:03.000 We got it.

05:03:04.000 All right.

05:03:05.000 What were you saying before that?

05:03:06.000 A series of speeches before you resign?

05:03:09.000 That is weird.

05:03:09.000 Yeah.

05:03:10.000 It seems weird.

05:03:11.000 Like, I am going to resign, but not before I use this pulpit.

05:03:11.000 It is weird.

05:03:15.000 Not before I use this job I have no interest in doing anyway.

05:03:19.000 To take pot shots before I leave.

05:03:21.000 I mean, can you imagine an employee? 0.98

05:03:22.000 It's like an employee giving two weeks notice, and then they just start talking mad crap on the boss.

05:03:28.000 And you're like, well, listen, you gotta go.

05:03:29.000 It's like, but I gave you two weeks notice, you have to give me two weeks.

05:03:31.000 Like, you're not doing your job, and you're just coming in, and you pooped on the photocopier.

05:03:35.000 You have to leave, Al Franken. 0.98

05:03:37.000 You defecated on the photocopier. 0.98

05:03:39.000 No, no, no, I'm taking my two weeks. 0.98

05:03:42.000 Why don't we just get rid of him?

05:03:44.000 I know there's a legal process.

05:03:46.000 Hold on, I'm getting a bunch of tweets here.

05:03:49.000 January 2nd is going to be his last day.

05:03:52.000 Okay, so he said he would resign.

05:03:56.000 And people thought he might not do it, I guess, if more loss.

05:03:58.000 Okay.

05:03:59.000 Yeah, I'm remembering now.

05:04:00.000 We've been a little out of the loop because we've been watching CNN preparing for this and also taping the YouTube Carol, so I'm probably the least sharp.

05:04:06.000 Today, I guarantee you, I'm the least sharp I've ever been on news because I am only watching CNN.

05:04:11.000 I mean, this is something I've realized.

05:04:12.000 This is a real disservice.

05:04:14.000 I really think that it would be, and probably the same with Fox News, only the difference is people who watch CNN really think they're getting the full scoop because it's the most trusted name in news.

05:04:24.000 I think people kind of know what they're getting with Fox News or MSNBC.

05:04:27.000 Isn't it alarming how woefully ill-informed, we would be misinformed if we watched CNN as our main news source?

05:04:33.000 And there's a lot of people who do that.

05:04:34.000 They marry themselves to one network, one source of information.

05:04:38.000 I know those kind of people.

05:04:39.000 I wouldn't do it if it was Fox or MSNBC.

05:04:41.000 I wouldn't do it with any of them.

05:04:43.000 Oh no, it's your favorite!

05:04:45.000 It's Wolf Blitzer.

05:04:48.000 Why do you hate Wolf Blitzer so much?

05:04:49.000 I hate him.

05:04:50.000 He is... See, you hate the bias by omission, you hate the bomb basketball, I hate the mediocrity. 1.00

05:04:57.000 He's aggressively mediocre.

05:04:58.000 He's really not good at anything.

05:05:00.000 He's not good.

05:05:00.000 And so vanilla.

05:05:01.000 You know what pissed me off the most is back when Hillary was still kind of... 1.00

05:05:05.000 Trying for the election real hard.

05:05:07.000 He interviewed her and he really set it up like he was going to stick it to her, right?

05:05:13.000 And he asked like, you know, so these Wikileaks, what about these?

05:05:13.000 Right.

05:05:17.000 It seems pretty condemning on your blah, blah, blah, blah.

05:05:21.000 Well, you know, there's no credibility to those.

05:05:24.000 Good enough for me, and he moved on.

05:05:26.000 I was like, that is his career though.

05:05:26.000 Yeah.

05:05:28.000 Right.

05:05:28.000 He didn't even try.

05:05:29.000 He didn't even try.

05:05:29.000 I think we lost the CNN feed.

05:05:30.000 Is that sound good?

05:05:31.000 We're going to refresh it?

05:05:32.000 Yeah, we're going to refresh it, dear.

05:05:33.000 All right. 0.97

05:05:34.000 Someone's telling you to get off your device, you dang kid. 0.96

05:05:35.000 See, I have a reason to. 0.93

05:05:37.000 I'm working on the Twitters. 0.95

05:05:38.000 He's just screwing around. 0.98

05:05:39.000 He's farting around. 0.98

05:05:40.000 All right, listen, let's go to some more Mug Club joins, and then we have Josh Wolf coming on relatively soon. 0.74

05:05:46.000 Live now, 16 hours of fun, a YouTube Carol premiere drop-in.

05:05:49.000 Thank you so much, Red in Maryland.

05:05:50.000 FFS, you left out the most accurate option.

05:05:53.000 Blatant, non-stop spin propaganda in support of the deep state and globalist leftist anti-western agenda, said TruthSplainer.

05:05:59.000 Well, the tinfoil hat in that guy's future.

05:06:02.000 All right, Sven, you have some, or you know what, Jared, go back over there so you can help with Sven.

05:06:08.000 Go back over there so we can get Sven's, you have some sign-ups, right?

05:06:11.000 Yes, yes we do.

05:06:12.000 Recline your seat.

05:06:12.000 Beep beep.

05:06:13.000 There's too many buttons.

05:06:14.000 There's so many buttons on there, I know.

05:06:16.000 We've got Nikki Haley back up, and that's not the right crop. 1.00

05:06:19.000 Alright, so go back because Edward's about to have a heart attack.

05:06:25.000 And we need you to hit the switcher so we can get more Mug Club sign-ups, because we've been having more Mug Club sign-ups.

05:06:29.000 Alright, there we go.

05:06:30.000 Mug Club sign-ups.

05:06:31.000 Who is this, Sven?

05:06:32.000 Can you read their names?

05:06:32.000 Read out their names.

05:06:33.000 I can't read their names because the prompter isn't adjusted properly, so I can't see their names.

05:06:38.000 Nicholas Davis, thank you very much.

05:06:39.000 Nicholas Davis, hey!

05:06:41.000 Rob Walker.

05:06:43.000 Rob Walker, keep it on there.

05:06:44.000 Rob Walker.

05:06:44.000 Hi, Rob Walker.

05:06:45.000 David Gepper.

05:06:46.000 Gepper.

05:06:47.000 I don't know the French name, but thank you very much.

05:06:47.000 David Gepper.

05:06:49.000 Thank you very much.

05:06:50.000 Robert.

05:06:51.000 RK711.

05:06:52.000 There you go.

05:06:53.000 James Cole.

05:06:54.000 Who?

05:06:55.000 James Cole.

05:06:57.000 How many more of these, Sven?

05:06:58.000 Kimi Notoko.

05:06:59.000 It's like five more.

05:07:00.000 Okay.

05:07:00.000 Kimi.

05:07:01.000 Hey, thank you, Kimi.

05:07:02.000 Axel Ekliburch.

05:07:04.000 You should know that one.

05:07:04.000 Thank you.

05:07:05.000 You're German, Sven Computer. 0.70

05:07:06.000 Well, I'm trying to pronounce it.

05:07:07.000 I can't hear you.

05:07:08.000 Beep, beep, boop, boop, go. 0.96

05:07:10.000 Jonathan Pebble.

05:07:11.000 Jonathan Pebble.

05:07:13.000 Maxine at Irate Ginger.

05:07:15.000 Maxine at Irate Ginger.

05:07:16.000 Sorry, you have no soul.

05:07:17.000 And the last two guys, Rafael Sampaio and Nick Rowles.

05:07:21.000 And Nick Rowles.

05:07:22.000 Thank you guys so much.

05:07:24.000 Every time you join Mug Club, Mohammed is sexually accosted in the underworld. 0.96

05:07:29.000 Now when I say underworld, I mean hell. 0.79

05:07:31.000 So, uh, I'm looking here, reading some of your tweets.

05:07:34.000 Thank you so much.

05:07:34.000 We have YouTube Carol Segment 3 coming up in not too long.

05:07:37.000 We have Josh Wolf who's going to be on the show.

05:07:39.000 UN votes 128 to 9 to condemn Trump's Jerusalem decision.

05:07:44.000 What is that?

05:07:45.000 I don't know what that means!

05:07:49.000 I don't know what that means to condemn him!

05:07:51.000 How is that a vote?

05:07:53.000 Is it a vote to say... Hey, Sven Computer, can you hit me with some research here?

05:07:56.000 Because again, I've only been watching... I've only been watching... Not right now.

05:08:00.000 We'll do it in a little bit.

05:08:02.000 We'll do lunch in a little bit.

05:08:04.000 I've only been watching CNN today.

05:08:05.000 Is there some kind of resolution?

05:08:06.000 Is there some kind of legislation?

05:08:08.000 Is there some kind of actual proposal sanctions they're putting on the table?

05:08:11.000 Or just to condemn it?

05:08:13.000 Is the UN actually going to do anything?

05:08:15.000 So I'll leave that to you, and we'll see what we can get here.

05:08:21.000 Will the UN actually do anything?

05:08:22.000 I'm trying to find this.

05:08:24.000 I don't get it.

05:08:31.000 I don't get it!

05:08:32.000 Why is there a vote?

05:08:32.000 Let's bring up the volume here.

05:08:33.000 Do you notice, by the way, how they always keep it as close as possible, showing this because it makes Israel look huge? 0.85

05:08:38.000 Do you notice, by the way, how they always keep it as close as possible, showing this because it makes Israel look huge? 0.85

05:08:38.000 Zoom out! 0.85

05:08:43.000 Zoom out.

05:08:45.000 Just hit the next minus sign on Google Maps.

05:08:52.000 Just one.

05:08:53.000 And you'll be like, oh, oh.

05:08:56.000 And it's, wait, hold on a second.

05:08:57.000 And it's everyone here who wants, not just Israel, but all Jews? 0.99

05:09:00.000 I like the message that Nikki sent yesterday at the United Nations for all of these nations that take our money and then they vote against us at the Security Council.

05:09:09.000 Good, good.

05:09:09.000 Or they vote against us potentially at the Assembly.

05:09:13.000 They take hundreds of millions of dollars, and even billions of dollars, and then they vote against us.

05:09:17.000 Well, we're watching those votes.

05:09:19.000 Let them vote against us.

05:09:20.000 We'll save a lot.

05:09:22.000 We don't care.

05:09:23.000 But this isn't like it used to be, where they could vote against you, and then you pay them hundreds of millions of dollars, and nobody knows what they're doing.

05:09:29.000 Good!

05:09:29.000 This is the kind of thing I like from President Trump.

05:09:29.000 Good!

05:09:31.000 Not tweeting, and not saying, oh, I have the best athlete, but saying, alright, you want to vote against us?

05:09:36.000 We're just not going to give you money.

05:09:36.000 Fine.

05:09:38.000 That's a threat from the President.

05:09:40.000 Well, I think if you're talking about Egypt or Jordan... Egypt, which receives more than a billion dollars in U.S.

05:09:45.000 economic... Correct.

05:09:46.000 Not anymore!

05:09:47.000 ...which also receives a significant amount of... Hundreds of millions of dollars.

05:09:50.000 Right.

05:09:51.000 And both these countries are partners of the United States when it comes to fighting terror.

05:09:57.000 You know what?

05:10:00.000 Here's my opinion on that.

05:10:02.000 Oh, Egypt's fighting terror?

05:10:03.000 Not enough. 1.00

05:10:04.000 Egypt sucks. 1.00

05:10:08.000 You fight terror because you're fighting certain sects. 1.00

05:10:08.000 You know what? 1.00

05:10:10.000 If you still have death for apostasy, you still don't get any money.

05:10:14.000 But we're technically fighting ISIS because of our political... I don't care.

05:10:16.000 Hey, no more Sharia law? 0.76

05:10:22.000 A few bad apples doesn't spoil the whole country.

05:10:25.000 Who cares about state?

05:10:26.000 That's Sven Computer.

05:10:28.000 Remember, I can't hear you.

05:10:30.000 Yeah, good.

05:10:30.000 Beep, beep.

05:10:31.000 Jared, if you can bring it up.

05:10:33.000 So obviously we saw on CNN just a second ago.

05:10:36.000 They voted in favor of condemning what President Trump did.

05:10:40.000 But it's null and void.

05:10:42.000 So basically it's non-binding, and as Haley already pointed out, we have it here.

05:10:45.000 Haley says that despite the result of the vote, BB, the United States will go forward with moving the embassy to Jerusalem.

05:10:53.000 So there's no action?

05:10:54.000 No.

05:10:55.000 So we've just spent four hours on a vote that is just saying, ooooh.

05:11:00.000 Which makes it even more amazing that 128 nations would kind of go on the record as anti-Semites.

05:11:07.000 And the fact that that German accent makes it so... 0.95

05:11:14.000 I can't believe there would be some countries that would have problems with the Jews.

05:11:19.000 I just, I can't even fathom it.

05:11:21.000 I can't even.

05:11:22.000 I don't even.

05:11:23.000 It does not compute.

05:11:25.000 In Germany, we don't.

05:11:27.000 We feel so bad.

05:11:29.000 We give them what they say here.

05:11:30.000 This is for Jew.

05:11:31.000 It's like a pun, but retribution.

05:11:36.000 This is amazing to me.

05:11:37.000 Now listen, if this seems a little useless, if you feel like you're getting bored at some points because of the Christmas news cycle, that's the point.

05:11:44.000 We do a show, a nightly show, right?

05:11:46.000 Jared knows this.

05:11:47.000 We do a nightly show. 0.87

05:11:48.000 We don't have to talk a bunch of bullcrap all day.

05:11:51.000 They're talking about a non-binding UN resolution to condemn us recognizing the embassy, which by the way, in Jerusalem, it was already signed!

05:12:04.000 It was already signed as a bill!

05:12:05.000 And there's that map again!

05:12:06.000 There's that map again!

05:12:08.000 Hey, Sven, can you do me a favor?

05:12:09.000 Bring up a map of Israel just slightly further out than that, and let's highlight everyone who wants to kill Israel. 0.95

05:12:17.000 And that's another lie by omission, right?

05:12:19.000 If you zoom in, you're like... For example, right here.

05:12:21.000 If you were to zoom in to, I don't know, let's say the state of... I'm trying to think of what's nearby.

05:12:26.000 What would be nearby.

05:12:27.000 Okay, you zoom in to the state of Maine.

05:12:30.000 To the point where you just see the corner of the other northeastern states that border Maine.

05:12:30.000 Right?

05:12:33.000 You're like, oh my god, Maine's, it's humongous.

05:12:36.000 Yeah.

05:12:37.000 But then you zoom out and you're like, oh, and New York and Connecticut and Vermont and New Jersey, they all want to kill Maine.

05:12:43.000 You'd be like, well, they stand no chance.

05:12:44.000 But if you do the zoom in, that's a lie by omission.

05:12:47.000 This is the kind of stuff that happens day in and day out.

05:12:49.000 And it's also what's really telling, right?

05:12:53.000 Send me your tweets.

05:12:54.000 Hashtag CrowderCNN live stream.

05:12:55.000 We're reading them live.

05:12:56.000 And please join Mug Club. 0.76

05:12:57.000 It's the only way we can continue to do this.

05:12:58.000 If it seems like an exercise in futility, this is.

05:13:01.000 The whole purpose right now is to show you, A, there's not that much to talk about in a 24-hour news cycle.

05:13:06.000 And so they have to manufacture.

05:13:08.000 news, right?

05:13:08.000 They have to manufacture news.

05:13:09.000 It doesn't really matter.

05:13:10.000 And what do they do with that?

05:13:12.000 Every single time when it comes to manufacturing, it comes out of the liberal propaganda factory.

05:13:18.000 It comes out with the small little maps.

05:13:20.000 So you see Israel as though it looks like it's more than the size of half of the state of Roleidon. 0.59

05:13:26.000 It comes out from the liberal propaganda factory in the vote you see to condemn Trump's decision that's non-binding.

05:13:32.000 It It comes out in the liberal propaganda factory in that they've never mentioned Geranium One.

05:13:37.000 It comes out in the propaganda factory in that they've never discussed the 1995 resolution and every single president saying they would recognize Jerusalem as the capital of Israel and that it would be its embassy.

05:13:48.000 It comes out from the liberal factory in nine million tiny Tims dead, right?

05:13:52.000 There's not much in the news.

05:13:54.000 So if there's not much in the news, They manufacture it and it's always left.

05:14:00.000 That's what bothers me from CNN.

05:14:02.000 Yeah, I think at Sven Computer has the overlay here, right?

05:14:04.000 For the Israel. 0.92

05:14:05.000 Yes, so this is all the nations around Israel and their relations to them.

05:14:09.000 So most of these nations around Israel, but they just don't even have relations.

05:14:12.000 Where's Israel in there? 0.90

05:14:13.000 It's so small you can't see because it's buried right here down there. 0.94

05:14:17.000 And those are all the nations that want to kill them?

05:14:19.000 Pretty much, yeah.

05:14:20.000 What does green mean versus the red?

05:14:22.000 Green means good relations, so there's like a couple of countries that... Not anymore?

05:14:25.000 Egypt shouldn't... That's an old map, because Egypt and Israel... Yeah, this might be like a year old, but you know, like limited relations, like it's most countries, and no relations.

05:14:25.000 Yeah.

05:14:33.000 Yeah.

05:14:33.000 No, Saudi Arabia and Egypt are strained now.

05:14:36.000 And by the way, they might have good relations, but they also support country... The other... Here's the thing.

05:14:40.000 The two greens still support all the other X's, often depending on the month, right?

05:14:45.000 So this is, zoom out, let's zoom out here.

05:14:48.000 Put us where Israel is, okay? 0.99

05:14:50.000 So point us where Israel is, Sven.

05:14:52.000 - I put it over here.

05:14:53.000 - Yeah, it's right under that blue thing.

05:14:56.000 - It's the what?

05:14:57.000 - Right in the center screen there.

05:14:58.000 - Right, right in the center, okay.

05:14:59.000 Now that's Israel, the little blue thing, okay? 0.98

05:15:01.000 So it looks on the screen, it fills the whole screen on CNN, right?

05:15:05.000 It's that little blue thing.

05:15:06.000 Okay, now that's Israel. 0.84

05:15:08.000 Now zoom out to all the nations around Israel that actually want to eradicate either Israel or all Jews. 0.93

05:15:15.000 Zoom out.

05:15:16.000 So remember, that little thing was Israel.

05:15:17.000 Hold on, you gotta center it here.

05:15:18.000 That little thing was Israel. 0.75

05:15:20.000 Look at this. 0.79

05:15:23.000 All of them want them dead, and now you can basically put Egypt on that list. 0.99

05:15:26.000 Saudi Arabia's Eddie Hasfield.

05:15:27.000 Iran, for example, is not even on here.

05:15:29.000 You know, other nations to the right.

05:15:30.000 Iran, Pakistan, they all want to have the Jews gone. 1.00

05:15:34.000 So why don't you show that now, CNN?

05:15:36.000 So too, Israel's haters.

05:15:41.000 Here's a point.

05:15:42.000 If you're in Israel, right, you see the sunrise, you go, oh, it's going over nations that want to kill us. 0.83

05:15:47.000 And then you see the sunset, and you go, oh, it's going down over nations that want to kill us.

05:15:51.000 That's it.

05:15:53.000 All of it.

05:15:54.000 Midnight Friday deadline looming on government shutdown.

05:15:56.000 Okay, hold on a second.

05:15:58.000 What do we got here?

05:15:59.000 Kroner scene in the left room.

05:16:00.000 All right.

05:16:01.000 Apparently we're trending in Seattle, so keep it going.

05:16:07.000 I'm going to take a lunch break.

05:16:10.000 So I'm going to take a lunch break first.

05:16:11.000 I'm going to pass off to ‑‑ is Courtney ready?

05:16:14.000 Let me see.

05:16:15.000 Never mind.

05:16:16.000 We'll do Josh Wolfe.

05:16:17.000 Okay.

05:16:17.000 - See what time is it now? - Josh Wolf.

05:16:20.000 - Oh, nevermind.

05:16:21.000 We'll do Josh Wolf.

05:16:23.000 Okay, while I do Josh Wolf, you guys can start eating lunch, and then after that, we'll go to someone else.

05:16:32.000 So you can be eating lunch, but... Alright, hold on.

05:16:34.000 Lunch lady! 1.00

05:16:35.000 Lunch lady! 1.00

05:16:37.000 Garçon! 0.88

05:16:40.000 Actually, it'd be femme. 1.00

05:16:41.000 It'd be lady.

05:16:41.000 The lunch lady's my wife.

05:16:43.000 Femme. 0.82

05:16:44.000 If you join Mug Club, I won't have to have my wife fetch us lunch in a 16-hour livestream. 0.97

05:16:47.000 So you need to eat there.

05:16:48.000 You know, you have to eat there.

05:16:49.000 Yeah, that's fine.

05:16:50.000 And then I'm gonna leave to eat lunch somewhere else.

05:16:54.000 Because you've all had bathroom breaks much longer than me.

05:16:59.000 No, no, they're gonna do lunch first.

05:17:00.000 They're gonna do lunch first because I have to get on the phone with Josh Wolfe.

05:17:04.000 Thank you!

05:17:04.000 Just bring everyone lunch.

05:17:05.000 Everyone's lunch but mine.

05:17:07.000 And if you could just put mine in the microwave, I'll eat it a little later.

05:17:09.000 But I gotta host Josh Wolfe.

05:17:12.000 Stephen Molyneux was right.

05:17:13.000 I need to form a union against myself.

05:17:15.000 What?

05:17:16.000 Not a bad idea.

05:17:18.000 By the way, when it comes to the government shutdown, you know, CNN, they're acting like the Republicans are the ones who are in trouble.

05:17:22.000 They actually introduced a short-term spending bill to fund the government, I think, through, what is it?

05:17:28.000 January 19th.

05:17:29.000 The Democrats just need to sign off on it.

05:17:30.000 That's it.

05:17:31.000 So there won't be any shutdown until after 19th.

05:17:34.000 Votes?

05:17:34.000 That's it.

05:17:35.000 The vote is today.

05:17:36.000 I haven't seen that mentioned on CNN at all.

05:17:37.000 As a matter of fact, I didn't know that that vote was today until Reg just sent it to me because I'm watching CNN.

05:17:43.000 If I'm watching CNN, I am not only ill-informed, I'm not uninformed.

05:17:48.000 You're probably worse off.

05:17:48.000 I am misinformed.

05:17:50.000 So keep this in mind, people.

05:17:52.000 Get this to everyone who watches CNN right now.

05:17:54.000 Hashtag CrowderCNNLivestream.

05:17:55.000 Send this to your relatives who watch CNN and think that it's honestly straightforward.

05:17:58.000 I want you to send this along because I want to expose to the world how biased CNN is.

05:18:03.000 Let's also add this to the hit list here.

05:18:06.000 Sven and Reg that they're not even even mentioning the fact that there's a short-term spending bill to fund us through January 19th.

05:18:12.000 It hasn't even been mentioned uranium one hasn't been mentioned this hasn't been mentioned.

05:18:15.000 It's unbelievable to me that this is a news network.

05:18:19.000 I mean, are you gonna say it's it's not fit?

05:18:22.000 It's not you're discussing about you're discussing the government shutdown, right?

05:18:25.000 Yeah, so you lose the argument like well, we didn't think it was fit.

05:18:27.000 Well, no, you thought it was fit to talk about the government shutdown all day.

05:18:30.000 And how much water we should drink, right?

05:18:33.000 How much wine?

05:18:34.000 How much wine we should drink?

05:18:35.000 You thought it was fit to talk about government shutdown all day, and then you didn't include the fact that Republicans have already put something before you to completely prevent a government shutdown January 19th, and it's just the vote is today?

05:18:46.000 You can't tell me that it wasn't news fit to cover.

05:18:50.000 Alright, do we have Josh Wolfe on the line?

05:18:51.000 Yep, we're ready.

05:18:52.000 Josh Wolfe, are you there, sir?

05:18:53.000 I'm here, man.

05:18:55.000 How you doing?

05:18:56.000 Not well.

05:18:58.000 Well, listen, I'm just judging by what you're wearing.

05:19:01.000 I'm not doing well either.

05:19:02.000 Yeah, well, listen, yeah, that's fair.

05:19:05.000 Although I had to take off at one point my firearm chastity belt because it got to be too constraining.

05:19:10.000 No, I've been watching CNN now for... five and a half?

05:19:15.000 About five hours?

05:19:16.000 Too long.

05:19:16.000 Five hours, and I'm starting to lose my mind.

05:19:19.000 Now listen, you're a good example.

05:19:20.000 You're more like of a moderate.

05:19:22.000 What is your view on CNN?

05:19:22.000 Yeah.

05:19:24.000 By the way, your Twitter is JoshWolfComedy, right?

05:19:28.000 Yeah, at JoshWolfComedy, yeah.

05:19:29.000 At JoshWolfComedy.

05:19:30.000 What's your impression of CNN?

05:19:33.000 Well, I honestly don't watch it because it's...

05:19:39.000 Okay, it's not news.

05:19:41.000 And listen, you know me, I'm more moderate, for sure.

05:19:43.000 But it's just the same three or four people sitting on a panel complaining all day, and I have better things to do with my life.

05:19:43.000 Right.

05:19:51.000 You know what I mean?

05:19:53.000 Well, not necessarily, but I think I understand the sentiment.

05:19:57.000 I don't have anything better to do today.

05:19:59.000 I have 16 hours of this.

05:20:02.000 You know, here's the thing, though.

05:20:03.000 I want to know how you decided how many buttons to unbutton on that thing.

05:20:07.000 Like, right now you're at two.

05:20:09.000 Yeah.

05:20:10.000 No, this is just one.

05:20:11.000 Oh, that's just one?

05:20:12.000 It's just one.

05:20:13.000 See, if I button the top one, the problem is it still does the same thing.

05:20:17.000 It just looks weird.

05:20:19.000 So I'm like, I might as well give it more.

05:20:21.000 You know, I can unbutton all the way down to the sternum and sit here.

05:20:26.000 Now I look like Stripper Santa.

05:20:28.000 That's how you watch CNN.

05:20:31.000 Well, just as you say it, Anderson Cooper and that gay host from what's the Bravo or Eat Show, what also happened last... Andy Cohen. 0.99

05:20:40.000 Andy Cohen, yeah.

05:20:41.000 They're both doing the New Year's... I think you should name one nipple Anderson and the other one Cooper.

05:20:48.000 And then you should just talk to him and rub him as you watch CNN. 0.88

05:20:53.000 Alright, listen, I know you're new.

05:20:55.000 You probably haven't been watching a ton.

05:20:56.000 Do you want me to give you just kind of a brief hit list of CNN today?

05:21:00.000 Sure.

05:21:02.000 I've been sleeping.

05:21:07.000 Yeah, I can tell.

05:21:09.000 The reason we've been doing this is because I've always maintained that CNN is the liberalism, the bias by omission.

05:21:15.000 A lot of people think of them as news.

05:21:17.000 I don't care about MSNBC or Fox News.

05:21:18.000 You know who they are.

05:21:20.000 We're pretty honest about You know, listen, I'm biased.

05:21:23.000 If you want to fact check me, tell me I'm wrong.

05:21:25.000 We try and provide as many sources.

05:21:26.000 I think that's the only way to do it.

05:21:27.000 I think it's pretty impossible to not have inherent biases.

05:21:31.000 So with CNN today, by the way, I am the least informed I've ever been on news.

05:21:36.000 I've been wrong about key issues because I've been watching it since the moment I've been up.

05:21:39.000 So just give an idea.

05:21:40.000 These are things that CNN has done today.

05:21:42.000 We just talked about those Stefan Molyneux.

05:21:43.000 So let me hit it really fast.

05:21:44.000 Uh, they've been stoking the Russian hysteria with the idea that Trump's going to fire Mueller.

05:21:47.000 He said yesterday he wasn't going to fire Mueller.

05:21:49.000 They only mentioned it today about 40 minutes ago.

05:21:52.000 Adam Schiff was on for the Mueller probe.

05:21:54.000 He, nine months ago, mentioned there was evidence.

05:21:56.000 There's never been any evidence.

05:21:57.000 No mention at all of Uranium One.

05:21:58.000 That's the Hillary Clinton uranium deal. 0.96

05:22:00.000 It's been trending number one on Twitter all day.

05:22:02.000 No mention of the Melbourne attacker.

05:22:04.000 Uh, they just said a Melbourne guy ran his truck into, uh, some holiday shoppers, not Christmas shoppers.

05:22:08.000 They didn't mention he was Afghani Saeed Nouri, not even mentioned.

05:22:11.000 They said 9 million Tiny Tims will die because Republicans don't want to fund the CHIP program, Child Health Care Initiative.

05:22:17.000 That's not true.

05:22:17.000 They actually put, uh, uh, uh, legislation before... They did say Tiny Tims.

05:22:21.000 They did say Tiny Tims.

05:22:22.000 They did say Tiny Tims.

05:22:23.000 Not that Jared has his mouth full, but he can vouch.

05:22:25.000 They said Tiny Timms.

05:22:26.000 That's true.

05:22:26.000 Oh, and also, just for what it's worth, CNN homepage, you got UN condemns Trump's Jerusalem decision, and no space for Mueller or any other things, but we got some space for Prince Harry and Meghan Markle reveal engagement photos.

05:22:40.000 Then they said, okay, let me- Let me wrap this up.

05:22:44.000 Mysterious death of Border Patrol.

05:22:45.000 Cause unknown.

05:22:46.000 Well the only suspects are two illegal immigrant drug cartels. 0.62

05:22:48.000 And then they have been talking about the Israel resolution passed by the UN.

05:22:52.000 No mention at all in 1995 how over 300 something to 90 there was a vote to recognize the embassy in Jerusalem and every single president has said that Jerusalem is the capital.

05:23:01.000 And then they're also talking about the government shutdown.

05:23:03.000 No mention of the fact that Republicans have actually introduced a clean short-term spending bill to fund us through Uh, January 19th.

05:23:09.000 So the point is, they've covered all the issues, but they just have so selectively provided information, it is not- Everything has been a lie.

05:23:18.000 Well, here's my thing with news, and I don't think there's fake news, man.

05:23:24.000 I think what you said is the right word.

05:23:26.000 There's biased news.

05:23:28.000 And every news outlet provides biased news, which is a problem for me, because you're already putting it through a filter instead of just relating what's happened.

05:23:38.000 And I think That is the basic problem, because people don't want the news to give them facts, they want the news to back up their point of view.

05:23:47.000 And I think going into news that way is inherently bad.

05:23:52.000 But isn't it worse though, isn't it worse for, my point is, the reason we chose CNN is because if we were to say we're going to tune into MSNBC, there would be no surprises people like well yeah of course he's going to say that but if you watched cnn today for example you would genuinely have no idea that every single president has recognized jerusalem as the capital of israel going back to clinton you would genuinely have no idea that the republicans are not trying to kill nine million tiny teams you would genuinely have no idea that they've said you don't need a government shutdown let's Let's sign this bill right now.

05:24:21.000 Vote today to fund us through January 19th.

05:24:24.000 I think that's so much worse than Keith Olbermann yelling, draping himself in the American flag about how much he hates Republicans because people think this is straight down the middle.

05:24:32.000 That's my problem.

05:24:34.000 I agree with that 100%.

05:24:35.000 I just want to know who okayed the term 9 million Tiny Tims.

05:24:41.000 That's really where, I mean, that's the problem.

05:24:44.000 I can't, every time you say it, I can't get past, like, 9 million kids with these wooden, like, crutches, you know what I mean?

05:24:52.000 Like, who's lining up the 9 million Tiny Tims?

05:24:55.000 If only it weren't for the Republicans, Father, my TB would have been fixed.

05:25:02.000 I honestly think, and I was talking to your brother about this two days ago when we talked on the phone.

05:25:07.000 You know what I think would fix politics across the board on both sides?

05:25:11.000 And you're someone who takes jiu-jitsu and has taken some martial arts, right?

05:25:15.000 Yes. 0.99

05:25:15.000 My problem is, is I think most politicians, and I can tell by the way they talk and their smug fucking faces, that they've never been punched in the face. 0.99

05:25:24.000 Everybody should get punched in the face one time as a consequence for something stupid they've said. 1.00

05:25:29.000 Well, I think... See how brave they are. 1.00

05:25:31.000 I think they should get their ass kicked. 1.00

05:25:32.000 Because a punch in the face can just be nothing. 1.00

05:25:33.000 But I mean, actually get their asses kicked. 1.00

05:25:35.000 I think so. 1.00

05:25:36.000 Just because it's like, you have any idea what you just said?

05:25:38.000 You just insulted an entire nation of people! 1.00

05:25:41.000 You get your ass kicked! 1.00

05:25:42.000 Just once! 1.00

05:25:44.000 I think everybody, in my view, the world would be better if everybody had to work in the service industry for a year, everybody had to wait tables or do something like that for a year, and everybody got their ass kicked one time. 0.99

05:25:56.000 Just one time. 0.89

05:25:57.000 It would change the entire way people talk to each other.

05:26:03.000 My boxing coach hit me really hard in the liver because I said that I thought Chinatown was a better movie than The Godfather that year, and he's Italian. 1.00

05:26:12.000 So I get my ass kicked all the time. 0.99

05:26:13.000 I think Chinatown's a better film. 0.99

05:26:14.000 Don't get me wrong, he's a raping, quaalude creep, Roman Polanski, but I think Chinatown was better. 0.99

05:26:19.000 I will tell you how good of a fighter I am, ready? 0.68

05:26:21.000 The last fight I was in, this is how I decided I shouldn't fight anymore.

05:26:24.000 The last fight I was in, I got hit twice.

05:26:27.000 Once here, and once here.

05:26:30.000 Because when he hit me here, I was like, man, I don't like this, and I turned around and he hit me one time when I was running away.

05:26:36.000 It's actually good, though.

05:26:37.000 You gave him your helmet to hit, but yeah.

05:26:41.000 No, I didn't get my... Go ahead.

05:26:43.000 No, no, I'm tired.

05:26:43.000 Yeah, go ahead.

05:26:44.000 You take the reins.

05:26:46.000 The less I have to talk right now, the better. 0.98

05:26:48.000 I will say that, see, for me, the ass-kicking makes you... gives you a little bit of trepidation, at least. 0.99

05:26:58.000 Do you think Trump's kids have ever been punched in the face? 1.00

05:27:00.000 No, I don't think Trump has ever had his ass kicked either. 0.99

05:27:03.000 And I think that you can tell with that bravado of somebody who's said things to people and just never had a consequence. 0.99

05:27:12.000 And I think that's bad, you know what I mean?

05:27:14.000 Yeah.

05:27:14.000 Do you remember the time you got punched in the face?

05:27:17.000 Yes, I remember exactly.

05:27:18.000 Where were you?

05:27:19.000 Where were you the first time you got punched in the face?

05:27:21.000 I was in the locker room at Centennial Regional High School.

05:27:23.000 I was in the locker room with a bunch of his friends, yeah.

05:27:26.000 And do you remember, it woke you up a little bit, didn't it? 0.99

05:27:29.000 You were like, oh shit! 1.00

05:27:31.000 Yeah, only he was the one who was talking crap and then also punched me in the face. 1.00

05:27:37.000 And I learned that one, I learned that lesson the hard way. 0.98

05:27:39.000 Sometimes you can try and avoid it and they just corner you in the locker room where there are no teachers.

05:27:43.000 But it definitely did change my outlook, yeah.

05:27:46.000 Right?

05:27:47.000 Because you were like, oh, I could get punched. 1.00

05:27:49.000 I remember the last time I took an ass kicking. 0.99

05:27:52.000 I was in Seattle and I was running my mouth, man. 0.99

05:27:56.000 I was running my mouth.

05:27:58.000 And the dude just kind of shook his head like, hey man, you know, I would stop this.

05:28:03.000 And I was like, what are you going to do?

05:28:05.000 And he caught me on the chin.

05:28:08.000 You know, the chin shot that makes it go night night?

05:28:10.000 That's on the side here.

05:28:10.000 Yeah.

05:28:11.000 That's the button.

05:28:13.000 So he hit my button.

05:28:14.000 The next thing I remember was waking up with a couple of well-placed shoes in the rib shot.

05:28:20.000 I think he pissed off Boss Rudin.

05:28:25.000 It's just commercial.

05:28:26.000 Yeah, obviously we're not talking legislatively, but I do think this political ruling class, these are people who just haven't really been challenged to the same degree, and that's what bothers me.

05:28:34.000 Let me ask you this before we go, because obviously I know that you've worked with Chelsea Handler quite a bit, and I don't want to put you on the spot, but she's got a lot of flack recently because she did some stand-up, which I was fine with, but it was, you know, it was seen as... she was making fun of black people.

05:28:48.000 But everyone gave... A recent stand?

05:28:49.000 Recent, yeah, it was her saying, like, someone making fun of black people.

05:28:52.000 And it was totally Chelsea Handler stuff. 0.61

05:28:54.000 But it's because she tweeted out that anyone who makes racist jokes should be jailed. 0.57

05:28:57.000 And so she was really upset because people went after her. 0.99

05:29:00.000 And I got to wonder, you know, like with this stuff, like, how long until liberals, like you said, you were kind of more liberal, kind of moderate, but how long until liberals realize that this is biting them in the ass now? 0.98

05:29:10.000 If you say people should be jailed for offensive things, they're coming for every comedian always. 0.96

05:29:15.000 Yeah, I, as a comic, I feel like my stage is really the last bastion of free speech.

05:29:22.000 And I always feel like if you walk into a comedy club and you get insulted or offended, that's your problem.

05:29:27.000 That's not my problem.

05:29:29.000 And I, but I don't, I'm not okay with comics or anybody who decides that what they say is an offensive, but the other people saying it are being offensive.

05:29:42.000 Do you know what I mean?

05:29:46.000 Either you're offended by everything or nothing, but you can't laugh at the black jokes if you're not gonna laugh at the woman jokes, or you can't laugh at the fat jokes if you're not gonna laugh at the Mexican jokes. 0.90

05:29:55.000 That is not, in my mind, that is not okay. 0.97

05:29:57.000 I laughed my ass off with the, uh, do you know the Hodge twins?

05:30:00.000 Have you ever seen them on YouTube?

05:30:02.000 Yeah, they're so fun.

05:30:03.000 Well, they were here and they were in they were in the YouTube carol that we're doing.

05:30:06.000 I just about pissed myself laughing because like the very the very I wrote a script.

05:30:10.000 Right.

05:30:10.000 And they were and I wrote it for them.

05:30:12.000 I was like, I wrote around the Hodge twins.

05:30:12.000 I was telling the story earlier.

05:30:13.000 And so I wrote it, you know, them arguing and I wrote, you know, them are and I wrote N dash dash dash a like he was going to because they call each other that.

05:30:21.000 And I was like, listen, you don't have to say it.

05:30:24.000 I was just trying to think to write in your voice.

05:30:26.000 He's like, yeah, man, I got you.

05:30:28.000 And I wrote it once toward the end of the script.

05:30:29.000 The very first line out of his mouth, he's like, at least that's what you've been telling us, niggas. 1.00

05:30:33.000 And I'm like, OK, this is going to be fine.

05:30:36.000 This is fine.

05:30:37.000 I don't know what I was worried about.

05:30:39.000 And someone right now could say, he just said the N-word.

05:30:39.000 Yeah, I know.

05:30:42.000 Yep! 0.80

05:30:43.000 I'm quoting exactly what they said.

05:30:44.000 It was in the script.

05:30:44.000 That one wasn't even in the script.

05:30:46.000 No, it wasn't even in the script.

05:30:47.000 They said it so many more times. 0.97

05:30:48.000 And even I felt a little stupid after that. 0.97

05:30:50.000 Like, you know what?

05:30:51.000 These guys know I'm not writing this to be racist.

05:30:53.000 These guys, I said, I'm going to write this in your voice, and then you kind of make it your own. 0.96

05:30:56.000 And so it was, bitch this, and make some gains that, and you know. 1.00

05:31:00.000 Here's the deal. 0.98

05:31:01.000 Here's how you can tell, for me.

05:31:04.000 Here's how you can tell that no matter what anybody says, it's not the word, it's the intent.

05:31:09.000 Right.

05:31:10.000 Right?

05:31:10.000 Because if we say the N-word is the worst word that you can say to a black person, if it was simply the word, then nobody would be able to say the N-word.

05:31:19.000 Hold on one second, one second, one second, we have to hold this, hold on.

05:31:21.000 Russian investigation, it's breaking, Josh.

05:31:24.000 Hold on.

05:31:24.000 Yeah.

05:31:25.000 Look at, whoa.

05:31:25.000 Oh, no!

05:31:28.000 Oh, I said Mueller.

05:31:31.000 That's right, Mueller.

05:31:34.000 Oh, never mind.

05:31:35.000 There's no, there's nothing breaking.

05:31:36.000 They're bringing up the exact same information from later, like, Democrats don't think he should be fired.

05:31:41.000 I love how they have a custom graphic for Russia investigation.

05:31:44.000 They literally have a, yeah.

05:31:45.000 It's like, this is their go-to.

05:31:46.000 This is a branded segment.

05:31:47.000 They created an After Effects.

05:31:50.000 They should blend Fox and MSNBC and have one host from each and then they can just give Each of their sides on a story.

05:32:03.000 Right.

05:32:04.000 Do you know what I mean?

05:32:05.000 I've thought about that before, actually, just like having, I've thought about it on our website for a day, just having it be two columns, all the liberal sites and all the conservative sites covering the exact same stories, because that's how we do our show pitches.

05:32:05.000 Yeah.

05:32:15.000 I go, oh, this story came, and if it came, nine times out of ten, we use the liberal sources.

05:32:19.000 Oh, this came from UFPO.

05:32:20.000 Oh, this came from Salon.

05:32:21.000 And then I go to Daily Wire.

05:32:22.000 I go to see the exact same story to see how both, as a matter of fact, when I have my Google Home, which is always on mute or unplugged, but in the morning I say, good morning, Google.

05:32:30.000 And it gives me news of the day.

05:32:32.000 I have it set to PBS, and then Fox News, and then BBC, and then, ah, that's it.

05:32:39.000 There's no other conservative one.

05:32:40.000 So I have two liberal ones and the Fox News, and side by side, and I will listen to it, say, from PBS at, you know, 4.45 a.m.

05:32:49.000 I think everybody should, instead of just reading headlines.

05:32:49.000 Yeah.

05:32:52.000 Yeah.

05:32:52.000 of a truck into a crowd of holiday shoppers and it'll be fox news fair and balanced at 5 45 p.m and afghani man's name sakhi nori ran you know i'm like oh i'm hearing the exact same story side by side so that's what i try and do i wish everyone did it because i think everybody should instead of just reading headlines yeah or breaking news we have i will say though wolf blitzer i mean i feel like he's really as far as the head

05:33:21.000 the beard hair combo length i think he's at his all-time best right now Right now?

05:33:26.000 It's really all blended in.

05:33:28.000 It looks like a one-piece.

05:33:28.000 Yeah.

05:33:30.000 You think he ages like a fine wine?

05:33:33.000 I think he went through a rough patch and I No, I think he ages like my wife when she graduated college.

05:33:42.000 My father-in-law had a port that he'd been saving.

05:33:44.000 It was like from 1964.

05:33:46.000 And it had been in the family forever.

05:33:48.000 And we did it at our college graduation, a nice seafood restaurant.

05:33:52.000 And he put the corkscrew in and the cork just disintegrated.

05:33:56.000 It was so brittle.

05:33:57.000 It was ruined.

05:33:58.000 So I think Wolf Blitzer ages like that port.

05:34:03.000 Can I tell you my brother once we went to we were huge Red Sox fans and we grew up with no money and I remember one time You know, we all caught up like a basically a Peter Pan bus Which is a Greyhound bus from our small town of Massachusetts Right to Fenway Park and my brother got to see a game and he caught a foul ball You know the odds of catching a foul ball, right?

05:34:23.000 Right And he's like eight or nine.

05:34:24.000 He's psyched and he's got it up on a mantle until he's like 14.

05:34:27.000 And he's always like, I'm giving this to my kid.

05:34:30.000 Well, I was like 12.

05:34:31.000 And I couldn't find a baseball to go to the park to play with.

05:34:35.000 So I was like, well, I'll just take this one.

05:34:37.000 And I'll bring it back. - Right.

05:34:41.000 You know how long it lasted?

05:34:43.000 About eight seconds, and we lost it in the woods. 0.99

05:34:45.000 Now ask your brother how much of an ass-kicking you would have gotten if you had stolen that off of his... Oh my god. 0.98

05:34:53.000 So I tried to replace it with a different ball. 0.99

05:34:55.000 It was like that scene from Risky Business, dude.

05:34:56.000 It was like the scene from The Sandlot.

05:34:58.000 It's the exact scene from The Sandlot.

05:35:00.000 I think you're telling me the story of The Sandlot.

05:35:02.000 No, so I threw it away.

05:35:03.000 I threw it into the woods, right?

05:35:05.000 He comes back.

05:35:05.000 Yeah.

05:35:06.000 I put my dad, because my dad caught a...

05:35:08.000 I got hit hard.

05:35:12.000 Yeah, by your brother.

05:35:13.000 Because we had a rule, no neck up.

05:35:15.000 No, no, that's a brother rule, yeah.

05:35:16.000 I got hit one solid punch in the chest. 0.97

05:35:21.000 He said, I'm going to hit you every day I remember this.

05:35:24.000 So he hit me hard in the chest for like a good two and a half, three months, dude. 0.69

05:35:31.000 Just he would wake up and be like, oh yeah.

05:35:33.000 I was like, oh yeah, I won't do that anymore.

05:35:35.000 So you're saying that needs to happen to Wolf Blitzer.

05:35:37.000 We do have to go.

05:35:37.000 All right.

05:35:38.000 I love what it says right here.

05:35:38.000 But one more thing.

05:35:39.000 Right now it says GOP lawmaker says President Trump won't fire Mueller. 0.99

05:35:44.000 Well, no, no, no shit. 1.00

05:35:46.000 Donald Trump said that. 1.00

05:35:48.000 They said it yesterday.

05:35:52.000 I know, I gotta go.

05:35:53.000 Alright, at joshwulfcomedy, thank you so much for being here.

05:35:56.000 So where will you be performing next live for people who want to follow you?

05:35:59.000 I'm actually going to be in Buffalo, and Owen is going to come down and do some guest sets with me.

05:36:04.000 Okay.

05:36:04.000 In Buffalo at Helium in the middle of January.

05:36:07.000 Go to ComedianJoshWolf.com for tour dates.

05:36:10.000 I'm at JoshWolfComedy, and I've got a really cool podcast with Freddie Prinze Jr.

05:36:14.000 called Prince and the Wolf.

05:36:15.000 It's on iTunes.

05:36:16.000 All right.

05:36:18.000 Thank you so much for being here, Josh.

05:36:19.000 We must go.

05:36:21.000 Bye, bye, bye, bye.

05:36:22.000 I can't believe it's now GOP Lawmaker.

05:36:24.000 It seems to me the trend here And then I'm going to go get lunch, and then you're going to bring Courtney on to just fill in while I grab lunch. 0.99

05:36:32.000 It seems to be the trend just to get people really upset about things that either aren't happening, are very unlikely to happen, or things that would inevitably happen anyway but aren't anything new so that people get upset.

05:36:42.000 So it's like, ugh, Donald Trump could fire Mueller.

05:36:46.000 Can you believe this?

05:36:47.000 And it's like, well, it's not going to happen.

05:36:48.000 But they want people to be really mad about it.

05:36:50.000 They want people to be like, ugh.

05:36:50.000 Yeah.

05:36:52.000 Oh, Donald Trump recognizes the embassy of Jerusalem as the capital of Israel.

05:36:56.000 But that's nothing new.

05:36:57.000 That's always been the case.

05:36:58.000 They just want people to get mad about things, period.

05:37:01.000 It's like high school.

05:37:04.000 It's like high school drama, but, you know, stuff that affects nuclear bombs and such.

05:37:09.000 I mean, all of these stories are delivered in a way Reg was talking to me about this.

05:37:14.000 They're just designed to get people mad.

05:37:16.000 Yeah.

05:37:17.000 I think Fox News is guilty of that too.

05:37:18.000 Cable News is guilty of that.

05:37:19.000 I think doing it with comedy, you know, for people who've joined Mug Club when we do it every night, we're not beholden to that.

05:37:25.000 We don't need you to be mad.

05:37:27.000 We don't need you to be angry.

05:37:30.000 We don't necessarily even need you to feel like you've had a great political victory.

05:37:32.000 We just need you to feel entertained and laugh.

05:37:34.000 There's one thing that always does bother me about conservatives too.

05:37:37.000 The kind of prehensile idea that outrage is the only emotion we can explore.

05:37:42.000 That's true, that's a good point.

05:37:43.000 And I feel like there are other ways to make points and educate people and inform that don't rely on just the outrage machine.

05:37:50.000 Right.

05:37:51.000 In fairness, conservatives are just guilty of that as liberals.

05:37:54.000 Yeah, conservatives are just as guilty of it.

05:37:56.000 My thing is, I think everyone knows Fox News.

05:37:58.000 And again, the reason everyone knows Fox News is so biased is because of things like CNN and New York Times.

05:38:01.000 Everyone calls out Fox News.

05:38:03.000 But who's calling out CNN?

05:38:06.000 Us.

05:38:07.000 That's it.

05:38:08.000 No one out now, everyone kind of is, but for years, if you go back and listen to our podcast, if you're not, it's only on audio because it wasn't on YouTube, but you go back three years ago, you will hear us bitching about CNN.

05:38:18.000 This was long before Trump, long before he ever ran.

05:38:20.000 This was in the era of Barack Obama.

05:38:22.000 No one was complaining about CNN.

05:38:24.000 Trump shined a light on it because he went after them.

05:38:26.000 Unfortunately, he went after them probably because of personal reasons.

05:38:29.000 But before that, who's going after, everyone's going after Fox News.

05:38:32.000 It's like, it's an ideological monopoly.

05:38:34.000 Yeah.

05:38:39.000 You know, we talk about government media.

05:38:39.000 No.

05:38:41.000 No one calls us out, government media.

05:38:42.000 Who's there to call out PBS?

05:38:42.000 Yeah, no one calls out.

05:38:43.000 No one's there.

05:38:44.000 Unless you have this, you know, little online channel or something.

05:38:46.000 There's no one there to call them out.

05:38:49.000 PBS.

05:38:50.000 Well, the point is, you get it.

05:38:51.000 You know, everyone thinks NPR is straightened down the middle of the Capitol.

05:38:53.000 I listen to NPR because government tells me the truth.

05:38:56.000 Yeah, there you go, Buckaroo.

05:38:57.000 So, listen, bring up the overlay.

05:38:58.000 LotterosCreditor.com slash MugClub.

05:39:01.000 $69 for students, veterans, military.

05:39:03.000 $99 annually if you just don't have any of those discount codes.

05:39:05.000 But it's Christmas, so right now you can be a student.

05:39:07.000 We have it?

05:39:08.000 It's going up.

05:39:08.000 It's going up?

05:39:09.000 I don't see it.

05:39:09.000 There we go.

05:39:11.000 We're the ones here.

05:39:12.000 16 hours calling out CNN.

05:39:14.000 I get it.

05:39:15.000 There's going to be 45 minutes here or there where nothing is happening.

05:39:18.000 That's why we're filling it with great guests, some sketches, some games, right?

05:39:21.000 We're trying to make this as fun for you as possible.

05:39:23.000 But the point of this is something that could not be proven any other way.

05:39:27.000 It couldn't be proven any other way outside of sitting down for 16 hours and showing you CNN.

05:39:34.000 And watching CNN so that you can see the bias occur in real time all day.

05:39:40.000 It can't happen through a blog post.

05:39:41.000 It can't happen through a cable news segment.

05:39:44.000 I have to sit here for 16 hours to show you guys so you can see how bad it is, to see what it is.

05:39:51.000 For someone who doesn't know, someone who's apolitical, we have the left and we have the right and then there's this huge swath of people in the middle who just flip on the CNN and think they're getting a straight story.

05:39:58.000 It could not be shown any other way, and the only way we're able to do this is through Mug Club.

05:40:04.000 I can't have a full-time job and do this.

05:40:06.000 I can't be mentally adjusted and do this.

05:40:08.000 So, lightoffclatter.com slash Mug Club.

05:40:10.000 Do we have a break that we can go to?

05:40:11.000 We're going to get a word from our sponsors, and then we'll be back with Courtney.

05:40:11.000 We do.

05:40:13.000 Yeah, we'll go to a word from our sponsors, and then Courtney and Jared, they're going to pinch hit for me for a little bit while I just eat some lunch, and then I'll be right back.

05:40:20.000 Thank you so much.

05:40:21.000 Keep it going.

05:40:22.000 Hashtag CrowderCNN livestream.

05:40:24.000 Okay, so SimpliSafe's big selling point is that it's mostly wireless and you can install it, even a dope like me, in under an hour.

05:40:31.000 or if we're going to put that to the test.

05:40:42.000 Central location.

05:40:43.000 This is a central location.

05:40:45.000 But there's my wife's essential oil diffuser.

05:40:48.000 So I have to decide between Being safe, potentially not mugged, murdered, raped in my sleeve.

05:40:56.000 Or the smell of nutmeg. - Starting your system in touch mode. - This is my old bag of security.

05:41:06.000 Well, hopefully we don't get robbed by any midgets. 1.00

05:41:34.000 So that sound is clearly obnoxious, but I think that's the point.

05:41:39.000 It took less than 40 minutes to get everything installed.

05:41:43.000 We didn't have glass break sensors, which in one area will be useful, so we're going to order those.

05:41:49.000 And having worked with other alarm systems that were wired into a house, this was a lot easier and certainly seems reliable.

05:41:58.000 Everything that we've tested works.

05:41:59.000 So simplysafe.com slash Crowder, you get $200 off right now.

05:42:05.000 And I gotta say, I'm pretty impressed.

05:42:06.000 Plus I have an excuse to unplug the essential oil diffuser, which was really annoying.

05:42:13.000 SimpliSafe.com. 0.98

05:42:16.000 I hate you. 0.98

05:42:18.000 Oh, oh, oh, oh, Donner! 0.99

05:42:30.000 I just came over to congratulate you on the baby boy!

05:42:35.000 Oh, you should be ashamed of yourself, Donner!

05:42:38.000 Who ever heard of a red-nosed reindeer?

05:42:42.000 That's messed up, Santa.

05:42:43.000 That's borderline racist.

05:42:44.000 Well, I am Aryan.

05:42:46.000 Yeah, I noticed with the lawsuit last year.

05:42:48.000 Well, who ever heard of a negro elf? 1.00

05:42:57.000 And we are back with the suffering and the pain and all of those things which I wish not to bear for myself.

05:43:05.000 But we are also back with Courtney Kirchhoff who's here to make it a little more bearable.

05:43:10.000 Courtney, sweetheart. 0.99

05:43:12.000 Hello.

05:43:13.000 How are we?

05:43:14.000 How are you doing?

05:43:16.000 I'm good.

05:43:17.000 I'm going to close the Skype image so I don't have to see myself, I guess.

05:43:21.000 That's all it is.

05:43:21.000 You haven't done that in a while.

05:43:22.000 I'm going to move it over so that I just see your smiling little face.

05:43:26.000 My little elf hat.

05:43:27.000 You guys are dark in there.

05:43:29.000 It's the only way to deal with the suffering because if we fooled ourselves with too much light, we would trick ourselves into thinking we are in a more pleasant place than we actually are.

05:43:40.000 So we like to keep it real.

05:43:42.000 So you're just going all in on hell.

05:43:44.000 All in on hell and deathy.

05:43:45.000 I always thought about that.

05:43:46.000 Wouldn't hell actually be like really bright if it's full of fire?

05:43:49.000 Not darkness.

05:43:50.000 I think it'd be like dark, like a maroon flame.

05:43:54.000 Or like dark fire.

05:43:55.000 Like you can't see where the fire is coming from.

05:43:58.000 I mean, these are just my thoughts on hell if we're going to talk about it.

05:44:03.000 Hell looks like this in reality.

05:44:04.000 Just this.

05:44:06.000 That's what hell looks like.

05:44:07.000 Are we regretting the 16-hour thing?

05:44:10.000 Yes.

05:44:11.000 Because it seems like this could have been accomplished in like six.

05:44:15.000 I'm regretting all the things.

05:44:16.000 All of our fans are regretting all the things.

05:44:18.000 I'm so sorry.

05:44:19.000 They're actually sending their mugs back for teaching them anything.

05:44:23.000 This was a wise decision.

05:44:26.000 What's been your biggest takeaway so far?

05:44:29.000 Say again?

05:44:30.000 I was trying to interrupt you.

05:44:31.000 I was going to ask, what's your biggest takeaway today from the CNN non-stopness?

05:44:38.000 Well, I'm not surprised.

05:44:39.000 First of all, it's the Christmas cycle.

05:44:41.000 Things aren't really happening, and those things that are happening run contrary to CNN's narrative.

05:44:46.000 So Nikki Haley is just lighting up the UN.

05:44:49.000 And tax reform went through, and everybody's kind of happy about it, so CNN is just trying to focus on the Mueller, Mueller, Mueller, or anything that they don't like.

05:45:00.000 It's not going well for CNN, but I don't think anything ever does.

05:45:04.000 I mean, they have Wolf Blitzer.

05:45:06.000 Chris Cuomo.

05:45:07.000 I want to see Steven bend Chris Cuomo over.

05:45:10.000 I think he would enjoy that.

05:45:12.000 I think Chris would enjoy that too much.

05:45:14.000 Do it like he was in prison.

05:45:15.000 I think that's part of the problem.

05:45:17.000 That's what I want to see.

05:45:18.000 I think he'd be digging that.

05:45:20.000 He likes it.

05:45:20.000 Do it to me.

05:45:23.000 I know.

05:45:24.000 I had a phone conversation with Steven yesterday and he was talking about what he wanted to do to Chris Cuomo.

05:45:29.000 I'm like, okay.

05:45:33.000 Okay.

05:45:34.000 This is good.

05:45:36.000 This is going to be good.

05:45:37.000 I can't say it on air because you know it's like a Me Too kind of an issue.

05:45:42.000 Yeah.

05:45:42.000 Oh wait, Wolf!

05:45:43.000 President Trump from winning last year's election and they're not calling for an investigation.

05:45:43.000 Wolf!

05:45:48.000 He kind of looks like for a perspective.

05:45:50.000 He kind of looks like Obi-Wan Kenobi, but just gayer.

05:45:55.000 It looks like a bridge troll in a suit. 1.00

05:45:59.000 Look at that, too.

05:46:00.000 Like one of Santa's elves got promoted.

05:46:02.000 Like you're not sure how to handle it, but this guy just outworked all the other elves and landed a job at CNN in New York.

05:46:07.000 Just like every elf's dream.

05:46:08.000 So that's a Photoshop, but I want a Photoshop of Wolf Blitzer as a cast member of The Hobbit or one of the Fellowship of the Rings.

05:46:17.000 I want to see Wolf marching on Mordor.

05:46:19.000 Yeah.

05:46:22.000 If somebody could do that Photoshop for us.

05:46:25.000 I'll retweet it.

05:46:25.000 I'm running Steven's Twitter today, so I have all the power.

05:46:28.000 That's good.

05:46:29.000 That's some real power.

05:46:30.000 Who's this?

05:46:32.000 Who's this?

05:46:33.000 I don't know.

05:46:35.000 Juana Summers.

05:46:38.000 Okay, in a not racist way, what kind of hairstyle would you call that?

05:46:42.000 I love how we read all of our really in-depth commentary with just ad hominem attacks.

05:46:50.000 That hairdo, those glasses.

05:46:53.000 If I go to my hairdresser and I say I'm done with the layers, I'm done with the white girl layers, how would I request that haircut? 0.99

05:47:02.000 What words would I use?

05:47:05.000 I don't know, like a, uh, like an overgrown ranch style house bush.

05:47:11.000 That's a genre.

05:47:15.000 I'm sure exactly what you're thinking in your head.

05:47:15.000 Google image that.

05:47:17.000 That's what pops up.

05:47:18.000 First Google search.

05:47:19.000 What do you think it takes to become one of these, like... There's the main host, right?

05:47:24.000 There's the Anderson Coopers and Chris Poole boys of the world.

05:47:27.000 But there's also like this second tier, second, third tier of just no-name political commentators.

05:47:34.000 Are these just communication majors who just found a... had a good contact?

05:47:39.000 How does one become a... one of these no-named nobody political analysists?

05:47:45.000 It could have been they slept with somebody.

05:47:46.000 Okay.

05:47:48.000 Or there was maybe like a pool going on and it was the next poor schlub who got to go next.

05:47:54.000 I think, I would say with the women they needed to be, I'm not going to say that, but that's... If you're filtering yourself, you know it's bad. 0.99

05:48:04.000 I'm like, wait a second.

05:48:07.000 I can't say that as a woman.

05:48:09.000 Women, they're not the fox women. 1.00

05:48:11.000 So let's just leave it there.

05:48:13.000 We don't have the glass cam for Erwine looking up underneath the transparent table.

05:48:17.000 No, no.

05:48:18.000 They're fine looking women. 1.00

05:48:18.000 I'm sorry. 1.00

05:48:19.000 They're just not Megyn Kelly.

05:48:21.000 No.

05:48:22.000 Yeah.

05:48:23.000 So it used to be that for, if you were a woman in news, you had to be super hot.

05:48:29.000 Not so much for CNN.

05:48:31.000 So I don't know what else takes.

05:48:34.000 I don't know what they go for.

05:48:35.000 I guess it's trendy to look like a...

05:48:39.000 Like, you have a few Tumblrs?

05:48:42.000 Like, you couldn't, you know... You're like a professional Tumblr host.

05:48:47.000 I feel like that's what they're going for here.

05:48:48.000 Oh, Tumblr, like the account.

05:48:49.000 Like, I thought you were obscuring Daily Wire again.

05:48:53.000 No, no, I'm still on just the ad hominem attacks of these people.

05:48:58.000 But... I think it's real possible you're gonna need a shot of caffeine or adrenaline at some point today.

05:48:58.000 Okay.

05:49:03.000 Oh, for sure.

05:49:04.000 I'm already suffering.

05:49:05.000 This is... Well, think about it.

05:49:07.000 This is already...

05:49:08.000 I think we considered the election livestream one of the longest, most exhausting streams of our lives.

05:49:15.000 And we're basically at that point now.

05:49:17.000 It's been about six hours.

05:49:18.000 That's about how long the... The difference is that during the election, things were actually happening.

05:49:23.000 Happening and getting better.

05:49:24.000 Progressively more encouraging.

05:49:26.000 Getting better, and there was an end point that was reasonable.

05:49:30.000 There's no good end point here.

05:49:30.000 There's nothing to look forward to with this.

05:49:32.000 I think the election livestream was like six hours.

05:49:35.000 Yeah, we're creeping up on that.

05:49:37.000 Six hours, you're not even to the halfway point.

05:49:39.000 No, no, six hours, yeah, we're at six hours now, I think.

05:49:43.000 I know, that's not that halfway point of six, of a 16 hour.

05:49:46.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

05:49:48.000 What I'm saying is... Pull out your old math book.

05:49:50.000 Calculator out.

05:49:51.000 Maybe borrow some fingers.

05:49:53.000 And it was against the law.

05:49:54.000 I'm curious about the narrative that Donald Trump had.

05:49:57.000 You borrow some fingers to me.

05:49:58.000 No.

05:50:00.000 That's my connection. 1.00

05:50:01.000 It's shit. 0.99

05:50:02.000 Sorry. 0.99

05:50:03.000 It's all good.

05:50:06.000 Thank you.

05:50:07.000 Yeah.

05:50:09.000 I'm hearing myself in your studio.

05:50:10.000 It's awkward.

05:50:11.000 Yeah.

05:50:11.000 It's finally got it.

05:50:13.000 I don't have my three-point lighting yet.

05:50:14.000 I have my overhead light, my window, my headlight.

05:50:18.000 It's working.

05:50:18.000 It's working better than some of the CNN interviews you saw this morning from Capitol Hill.

05:50:21.000 They were awful.

05:50:22.000 Just awful lighting.

05:50:25.000 I heard that.

05:50:26.000 And then you were talking about they don't have three-point lighting.

05:50:28.000 I'm like, I don't have three-point lighting either, but I'm working on it.

05:50:32.000 What's this right now?

05:50:33.000 GOP lawmakers claim conspiracy against Trump during election.

05:50:36.000 I love all the branded Russia investigation stuff they have.

05:50:39.000 Like they hired a whole firm just to create a package for Russia investigation.

05:50:42.000 stuff they have.

05:50:43.000 Like they hired a whole firm to create a package for Russia investigation.

05:50:49.000 Well, at this point, CNN is just keeping the Russian investigation alive because there is no proof of collusion. 0.98

05:50:58.000 It's just desperate, wishful thinking that they're going to find out that Trump is a Russian prostitute, and I don't think that's true. 0.95

05:51:08.000 I think that's part of the problem with all these networks, CNN most of all. 0.97

05:51:11.000 I think it's not so much just that they're dishonest, by omission and commission, but when they are wrong, plan A is to double down.

05:51:25.000 When it's not going the way it should, double down, double down, double down.

05:51:28.000 Just hope for the best.

05:51:29.000 Can we make a Russian collusion thing happen?

05:51:32.000 Can we work on that?

05:51:32.000 Yeah.

05:51:33.000 Can we send some guys up there?

05:51:35.000 Some more inane sources?

05:51:37.000 The Nazis took that take. 0.71

05:51:39.000 I don't think Hitler is actually the person who started this phrase, but if you tell a lie often enough, people will believe it. 0.94

05:51:46.000 Yeah.

05:51:46.000 And I think that's what CNN is doing with their, oh my God, the Russian collusion thing.

05:51:52.000 It's like the more we keep harping on it, It's gonna take with some idiots who are already watching CNN. 1.00

05:51:58.000 They're gonna believe that. 1.00

05:51:59.000 That Trump really is slutty for Russia, when really it's them. 0.99

05:52:03.000 Yeah, I think that's... There we go, that was the right one. 0.99

05:52:06.000 I think it's more proof that it's not about the information, it's about controlling the narrative.

05:52:13.000 If you control the narrative, that's just as good as the information.

05:52:17.000 What the history books say is more valid than what actually happened in history.

05:52:21.000 So if you're the one writing the books, you are controlling...

05:52:26.000 They're essentially kind of playing God in that sense of controlling how history is being written in accordance with what their agenda is, not with what truth and facts and actual information data says.

05:52:42.000 Well, and it also kind of takes down the Trump legacy, whatever that legacy will be, if there's an asterisk by his name that says, oh, and just so you know, all the news networks in 2017 were investigating whether or not he was a Russian spy.

05:52:55.000 So that kind of takes down any accomplishment that he might have and taints it, even though there's just no evidence.

05:52:55.000 Yeah.

05:53:02.000 In fact, uranium won.

05:53:04.000 If there's evidence, it's that the Democrats were in bed with the Ruskies, not Donald Trump.

05:53:09.000 So it's projection, too.

05:53:11.000 Yeah.

05:53:11.000 They're covering for the Democrats while saying, look, look, this is actually what Trump did when really it was Obama and Hillary that were engaging in a little nookie nookie with the Russians over nuclear weapons.

05:53:11.000 Yeah.

05:53:22.000 Yeah.

05:53:23.000 I don't know why we're not talking about that.

05:53:25.000 Here's a question for you.

05:53:26.000 Do you think looking down the road, call it 5, 10, 15, 20 years, do you think Trump, do you think his legacy will recover from all of the bad press or do you think it will define his presidency for eternity?

05:53:41.000 Because if you look at, there's been some presidents who...

05:53:44.000 The media is absolutely tainted. 1.00

05:53:46.000 I think George Bush is probably tainted forever as the dumb president. 0.97

05:53:49.000 Then you look back and see, you know, presidents like Ronald Reagan who, while they're looking, look back on as kind of some, you know, some of the heroes of conservatism, the heroes of the Republican Party. 0.95

05:54:00.000 At the time, it wasn't, especially when he first ran, it was a lot of negative press.

05:54:05.000 You know, this Hollywood actor coming up, entering into politics.

05:54:08.000 It wasn't all, he lost, who did he lose to the first time?

05:54:12.000 I forget who, was it Carter?

05:54:14.000 Reagan?

05:54:15.000 Yeah, did he lose to Carter the first time?

05:54:18.000 I think it was Gerald... Well, in the primaries, I think it was Gerald Ford, wasn't it?

05:54:23.000 In the primaries, yeah.

05:54:24.000 But point being, that's an example of a president who clearly recovered.

05:54:28.000 There are a thousand people tweeting us right now telling us how wrong we are.

05:54:32.000 I'm sorry, I've closed that off.

05:54:34.000 It's the nerves of being in front of.

05:54:35.000 It's just live streaming.

05:54:37.000 It's orientate.

05:54:39.000 We're writing history.

05:54:40.000 It's out there.

05:54:41.000 What matters is what we meant and what we say, not what happened.

05:54:44.000 I would have said yes.

05:54:45.000 I think they are They are trying to taint his legacy and they would have pulled it off had it not been for conservative media kind of throwing it the other way.

05:54:55.000 And the reason I say that, after a certain amount of time when that politician has lost influence, it's kind of okay to turn on them.

05:55:04.000 The only reason I say that, I saw that there's a new trailer for the movie Chappaquiddick, which is about Ted Kennedy.

05:55:10.000 Huh?

05:55:12.000 That's all about Kennedy?

05:55:15.000 Do you know what Chappaquiddick is?

05:55:16.000 I don't know much about this.

05:55:17.000 We're finding out the shallowness of Jared's.

05:55:20.000 By the way, I'm back.

05:55:20.000 - I know.

05:55:21.000 - They're so fired.

05:55:22.000 - By the way, I'm back.

05:55:23.000 - Okay, so Ted Kennedy.

05:55:24.000 - Yeah, we got, he knows, Gerald knows.

05:55:26.000 - Driving with a re-choke of me. 1.00

05:55:27.000 - Yeah.

05:55:28.000 - Yeah.

05:55:29.000 - He takes her off a bridge.

05:55:32.000 He gets himself out of the car.

05:55:33.000 Okay.

05:55:34.000 Okay.

05:55:35.000 Yeah.

05:55:35.000 The broad and the bridge.

05:55:36.000 Okay.

05:55:37.000 Yeah.

05:55:37.000 I know about that.

05:55:38.000 I didn't know.

05:55:39.000 You said it weird.

05:55:40.000 I'm a very visual person.

05:55:41.000 If you spelled it out, I'd be like, Oh yeah, there it is on paper. 0.86

05:55:44.000 I hear things that I'm a retard.

05:55:45.000 I can't spell Chappaquiddick.

05:55:48.000 I do know exactly what you're talking about.

05:55:48.000 Okay.

05:55:50.000 Believe me.

05:55:50.000 Yes.

05:55:51.000 So there's a movie now and the trailer that I saw that was two, it was about two minutes.

05:55:56.000 We have it on ladderwithcrowder.com.

05:55:59.000 They were showing Ted Kennedy in a negative light.

05:56:03.000 The Kennedys used to be untouchable until recently.

05:56:06.000 They were the media darlings.

05:56:08.000 Yeah, it was Camelot.

05:56:09.000 They were our version of the royal family.

05:56:11.000 That's why when JFK visited Dallas it was such a big deal because he had so much pushback here.

05:56:16.000 It was kind of unprecedented for him to have that much hate.

05:56:20.000 Hate, that's what we're known for too.

05:56:24.000 That's kind of it.

05:56:25.000 The media is turning on the Clintons a little bit.

05:56:27.000 The media is turning on the Kennedys.

05:56:29.000 So when those people are out of power and they can no longer influence, the left throws them under the bus.

05:56:35.000 They're pretty cruel.

05:56:36.000 But here's the thing I think is interesting is that The main pushback against the CNN is not coming from Fox News.

05:56:43.000 I don't think it's coming from any of the main news sources.

05:56:46.000 No, it's coming from us.

05:56:47.000 It's coming from independent media like Lara Crotter, like Daily Wire, like all these other independent shows, which never obviously existed back in the days of Kennedy.

05:56:58.000 You wonder what it would have done to his legacy at the time had they been able to call him out on He'd have been done.

05:57:06.000 I mean, if we'd had the social media access or YouTube or anything else out there... I can't hear Gerald.

05:57:10.000 Turn on his mic.

05:57:11.000 Okay, I'll get him for you.

05:57:12.000 Oh, no.

05:57:13.000 My mic is not on.

05:57:15.000 Oh, jeez.

05:57:16.000 Here we go.

05:57:18.000 Finally.

05:57:19.000 All right.

05:57:20.000 Hopefully, can you hear me now, Courtney?

05:57:22.000 I feel like... I can hear you, but not through your mic.

05:57:25.000 Oh.

05:57:26.000 Use your outside voice.

05:57:27.000 I am using my outside voice.

05:57:29.000 How dare you?

05:57:30.000 No, we're good.

05:57:31.000 It's hard because they tell me, like, you don't project very well.

05:57:34.000 Right, exactly.

05:57:35.000 Yell in my house.

05:57:38.000 No, what I was saying is that if there had been social media, if there had been any kind of access to YouTube or any of the instant kind of news things that we have today that can really get at the base of the story, they would have been screwed at the time.

05:57:52.000 There's just no way.

05:57:53.000 I mean, this would not...

05:57:54.000 It wouldn't have happened. 0.84

05:57:55.000 Yeah, the Kennedys would have been screwed at the time that it happened.

05:57:57.000 By the way, is anybody a fan of The Crown on Netflix here?

05:58:00.000 I haven't watched it yet.

05:58:01.000 So, spoiler alert, season two.

05:58:03.000 It's not really, it's not.

05:58:04.000 But season two, they don't treat the Kennedys all that well.

05:58:08.000 It shows you the true debauchery that was really going on.

05:58:10.000 The show, The Kennedys, that miniseries, I forget which network it was on.

05:58:13.000 I saw that one, too.

05:58:14.000 I think it was History Channel, wasn't it?

05:58:16.000 It could have been.

05:58:16.000 No, I think it was an HBO miniseries or something.

05:58:20.000 On the Kennedys?

05:58:21.000 Yeah, the one with Katie Holmes and... Yeah, maybe so.

05:58:24.000 All of it did not paint the Kennedys in a good light.

05:58:27.000 No, but it painted them in a realistic light.

05:58:29.000 Like, he had lots of women that he was sleeping with, as well as his wife occasionally.

05:58:32.000 That kind of thing, you know?

05:58:33.000 It's like, come on!

05:58:34.000 Interesting though, as much pushback as people like Sina could face today from independent media that only exists because of online technology, and of course things like Mud Club that helped fund them, What amazes me on CNN is they know people can call them on stuff with a quick Google search.

05:58:53.000 Exactly.

05:58:54.000 They're depending on people not knowing how to use Google.

05:58:57.000 But that's the thing.

05:58:58.000 We all have that friend, though, who buys the Trevor Noah narrative lock, stock, and barrel.

05:59:04.000 So you can't... These people...

05:59:07.000 CNN's audience, MSNBC's audience, they're all idiots who need to just turn them off and research for themselves. 1.00

05:59:13.000 But that takes effort. 1.00

05:59:14.000 So they just sit there and they take this propaganda thinking that they're informed.

05:59:18.000 And that's really the most dangerous part.

05:59:20.000 When you think about it, they're voting.

05:59:24.000 It's the willing participants of the forum.

05:59:26.000 They're willing participants, and they're lazy, and if you dare say anything to them, they're like, well yeah, but I heard it on NPR.

05:59:31.000 I'm like, oh my god, you're the problem.

05:59:33.000 Honestly, what about somebody who's a huge fan of CNN?

05:59:36.000 CNN is their thing.

05:59:39.000 Yeah, I don't know.

05:59:41.000 I don't really know.

05:59:42.000 Maybe it's just the circles I go in.

05:59:43.000 I could name you a couple Fox News people who are like, they don't like it, but it's like, every morning it's Fox and Friends.

05:59:49.000 I can't tell you anybody who's like, Cooper is my guy.

05:59:51.000 Can't wait for, yeah.

05:59:52.000 Lemon is my guy.

05:59:53.000 Like, every night.

05:59:54.000 Fareed Zakaria, whatever it is. 0.86

05:59:55.000 I never miss it.

05:59:56.000 Yeah.

05:59:56.000 Hey, I don't know.

05:59:57.000 And Courtney's frozen.

05:59:58.000 Uh-oh.

05:59:59.000 We go away from frozen Courtney?

06:00:00.000 Uh-oh.

06:00:03.000 Come back.

06:00:03.000 There we go.

06:00:04.000 I think I'm unfrozen now.

06:00:04.000 You're coming back.

06:00:05.000 There we go.

06:00:06.000 Nice.

06:00:07.000 I like unfrozen Courtney better. 0.92

06:00:10.000 Usually when it freezes, it takes me a pretty unflattering and then people Photoshop, which is fine, but... Here's the thing, though.

06:00:17.000 They can pause at any moment and do the same thing, so you're not really seeing them as much.

06:00:21.000 That's true.

06:00:22.000 If you're going to Photoshop it, do it in an epic fashion, you know, put like a walter in my hand, have me riding a unicorn or something.

06:00:22.000 That's true.

06:00:29.000 Yeah.

06:00:29.000 That's all I ask.

06:00:31.000 Right.

06:00:32.000 Wow.

06:00:32.000 That's crazy.

06:00:33.000 Crazy stuff.

06:00:34.000 So, I hate it.

06:00:35.000 But the CNN, they were pushing some stuff about Damascus being under siege.

06:00:35.000 We missed it.

06:00:39.000 Yeah.

06:00:40.000 Mentioning nothing about the Islamic State and everybody else that's fighting.

06:00:44.000 Like, none of this stuff.

06:00:46.000 It's not an Arab problem.

06:00:48.000 We were talking about Israel just a little while ago and how the entire Arab world, it's not the more accurate thing to say.

06:00:54.000 By the way, I think we said Jordan.

06:00:55.000 Jordan's actually cool with them now to some degree.

06:00:57.000 Yeah.

06:00:57.000 Are they?

06:00:58.000 So, I mean, it's much better than it was. 0.95

06:01:01.000 It's more accurate to say the Muslim world around them was trying to kill him. 1.00

06:01:05.000 That's a much more accurate descriptor. 0.79

06:01:07.000 Instead of just saying Arab, because that pushes it off.

06:01:10.000 It is a Muslim... Remember... Which is funny, because that seems far more racist. 0.94

06:01:13.000 Yeah, exactly!

06:01:13.000 It does, right?

06:01:14.000 But remember when we were seeing all of these things happen, and you would say, somebody did something.

06:01:18.000 We'd all go, okay, look, let's just wait, but...

06:01:21.000 You know, he was yelling Allahu Akbar when he did it. 0.98

06:01:24.000 Maybe he was an Islamic person who kind of went crazy. 1.00

06:01:28.000 It would be, it's more accurate. 0.99

06:01:30.000 I get it.

06:01:30.000 It's okay.

06:01:31.000 Like, you don't want to say that this person, that you don't want to, you don't want to attribute it to their beliefs, but you have to, right?

06:01:36.000 Because their beliefs are what motivates them to do this.

06:01:38.000 And I'm not talking about all Muslims, right? 1.00

06:01:40.000 Hashtag not all Muslims. 0.81

06:01:41.000 Well, it's funny because I mean. 0.93

06:01:42.000 You're such a shill. 1.00

06:01:43.000 I know, right?

06:01:45.000 Well, you know that's what people are going to say.

06:01:46.000 There's so many peaceful Muslims.

06:01:48.000 Of course there are.

06:01:48.000 I understand that.

06:01:50.000 But when you have a gigantic population within your belief that believes it's okay for you to convert by the sword and to kill infidels. 1.00

06:01:58.000 That's Jews and us, by the way. 1.00

06:01:59.000 We're the great Satan. 0.99

06:02:00.000 They're the little Satan.

06:02:01.000 So we still take preeminence even in the hatred list. 1.00

06:02:04.000 So screw you. 0.98

06:02:04.000 Sorry, guys. 0.98

06:02:05.000 Well, this goes back to the sin by omission thing because People report all day long if a guy did something wrong and ever even wore a Trump hat.

06:02:05.000 Yeah.

06:02:17.000 Exactly.

06:02:18.000 They'll photoshop the hat in to make it look good.

06:02:22.000 We'll go back in time, we have no problem calling out the World War II, the Holocaust, kind of a result of the beliefs of Hitler. 0.88

06:02:28.000 But when it comes to the atrocities that happen every single day in the Middle East, We have a hard time calling out what is it.

06:02:34.000 Oh, it's just Iran. 0.96

06:02:36.000 They kind of have some different policy ideas.

06:02:38.000 It's like, no, there's, there's a, there's a, there's a threaded ideology.

06:02:42.000 I always have trouble with that word.

06:02:43.000 Ideology, ideology, ideology, ideology. 1.00

06:02:45.000 Just think of idiot. 1.00

06:02:46.000 I think she made different pronunciations. 1.00

06:02:47.000 Ideology, ideology.

06:02:48.000 Did you get that, Courtney?

06:02:50.000 You like that?

06:02:51.000 I did.

06:02:52.000 I liked it.

06:02:53.000 He's rambling, so he needs help.

06:02:55.000 This is like, this is almost like an episode of Morning Grinders in the afternoon.

06:02:58.000 Yeah, it's Morning Grinders, which is when most people end up watching Morning Grinders.

06:03:01.000 Well, pretty much.

06:03:02.000 Yeah, that happens.

06:03:02.000 We're talking about things that are meaningful, and this is why we don't do it.

06:03:05.000 We don't have meaningful conversations in the mornings.

06:03:07.000 It's just not... Well, that's not nice.

06:03:09.000 It's not as entertaining, so that's funny.

06:03:11.000 This actually, I didn't even realize, I didn't even think about the fact that we're all together.

06:03:13.000 This is the Morning Grinders crew, but... Yeah, we're not going to be in tomorrow either, people.

06:03:17.000 No Morning Grinders in the morning.

06:03:17.000 Yeah, sorry guys.

06:03:18.000 This is a good time to change the plug, probably.

06:03:20.000 Tomorrow, there will be no Morning Grinders.

06:03:22.000 Yeah, that's the best plug we could possibly do.

06:03:23.000 Best plug.

06:03:24.000 Instead, we are providing you with a full episode-length behind-the-scenes and blooper and gag reel from the YouTube Carol.

06:03:33.000 So once you see the rest of this thing, you are going to realize why you want that.

06:03:38.000 You may not know you want that yet.

06:03:40.000 Of course, the Hodge twins and Clint Howard's show, you can get a clue.

06:03:43.000 But once you see the rest of them, you will realize just why you want that so badly.

06:03:47.000 When Steven gets back, I'm going to ask him a question about the availability of that.

06:03:56.000 He was gone for less and I'm trying I'm trying to get him to like take I think the the whole thing was that you had to watch CNN not talk the whole time.

06:04:03.000 Watching's bad enough it burns your eyes out.

06:04:05.000 Right? 1.00

06:04:06.000 Stop being a pussy. 1.00

06:04:09.000 And Steven's back. 1.00

06:04:11.000 You need a minute.

06:04:14.000 I put it on the thing over here.

06:04:16.000 And I brought a wine of the day and I meant to get it out of the way before you got back in here so you couldn't chastise me.

06:04:22.000 Thank you, Courtney, Jared, and Gerald.

06:04:24.000 I didn't watch any of it because I wanted to not watch anything that relates to this for at least 15 minutes.

06:04:33.000 We just talked about some of the things that you do, you know.

06:04:37.000 Really?

06:04:38.000 That's what I've had an appendix carry people do.

06:04:38.000 That's happening?

06:04:40.000 Is this what we missed by not having you?

06:04:42.000 Pow, pow, pow, pow, pow.

06:04:44.000 Wait, hold on a second.

06:04:45.000 I think there's someone over there.

06:04:47.000 Hold on.

06:04:48.000 Check it.

06:04:48.000 Huh?

06:04:49.000 Huh?

06:04:49.000 Clear?

06:04:50.000 Huh?

06:04:51.000 Pow! 0.91

06:04:52.000 Okay, we're good.

06:04:54.000 Oh God.

06:04:54.000 Somebody take his gun away from him.

06:04:56.000 People are gonna say, why are we being irresponsible?

06:04:58.000 But I just think it's fun to tell.

06:04:59.000 It's clear.

06:05:00.000 Yeah, it is.

06:05:03.000 Watch him, Mike.

06:05:03.000 Watch y'all freaking watch him.

06:05:04.000 What are you, Courtney? 0.58

06:05:05.000 Are you Appendix Carry?

06:05:09.000 Inquiring minds want to know.

06:05:10.000 Hey, this girl's good-looking on CNN. 0.99

06:05:12.000 Mm-hmm.

06:05:13.000 I've always thought she was cute.

06:05:14.000 She has, like, a warm... Isn't that Brooke Baldwin?

06:05:17.000 Is that who that is?

06:05:19.000 Is it?

06:05:19.000 Yeah.

06:05:20.000 I don't know.

06:05:21.000 Oh, yeah, that is Brooke Baldwin.

06:05:23.000 She was the one who was all scandalized when Clay Travis said he believed in the First Amendment and boobs. 0.99

06:05:30.000 I do like boobs. 0.99

06:05:30.000 She just, like, freaked out. 0.99

06:05:32.000 Everybody likes boobs. 1.00

06:05:33.000 That's why it was so silly. 0.99

06:05:34.000 And I love that the First Amendment allows me to say that I like boobs. 0.98

06:05:38.000 We're not boobies. 0.99

06:05:39.000 Everybody likes boobs, dummy. 1.00

06:05:39.000 Did you just say that? 1.00

06:05:40.000 We're not really boob guys We're not boob guys You like the first feminine boobs? 0.99

06:05:43.000 Did you just say that? 0.99

06:05:44.000 Like everybody likes boobs dummy No Not Anderson Cooper Who doesn't? 1.00

06:05:51.000 Man boobs. 1.00

06:05:52.000 Man boobs. 0.99

06:05:53.000 Men still have boobs. 1.00

06:05:54.000 I have nipples, Greg. 1.00

06:05:55.000 Can you milk me? 0.99

06:05:55.000 He loves other big, giant things that form a crack when they're pushed together. 0.99

06:05:59.000 Wait, you're wearing green.

06:06:00.000 Thank you, Courtney.

06:06:01.000 Gerald, go get something from my wife that's red or something.

06:06:05.000 You need me in red so that I can't see it.

06:06:07.000 This is insensitive to colorblind people.

06:06:09.000 Courtney, don't you think it's insensitive for people to not be wearing something Christmassy?

06:06:14.000 That's why I'm wearing green.

06:06:15.000 I know!

06:06:16.000 Thanks a lot, Courtney.

06:06:17.000 He just threw it in the glove box.

06:06:18.000 Just throw it at him. 0.63

06:06:19.000 My wife, I need a scarf. 1.00

06:06:20.000 I don't know how to put it on.

06:06:21.000 Wait, go back to Gerald.

06:06:22.000 Is he wearing a Louder With Crowder shirt, though?

06:06:24.000 Let's go back to Gerald.

06:06:25.000 That's entirely foreboding.

06:06:25.000 That's a new one, too.

06:06:27.000 Even Sven, computer, had the decency to wear the Christmas vacation jacket.

06:06:31.000 Sven is just silver and gold.

06:06:34.000 Silver and gold.

06:06:35.000 You know what I love about that?

06:06:37.000 How can you measure their worth just by the pleasure it gives?

06:06:42.000 What about blood diamonds, bro lives, you prick?

06:06:45.000 You just measure it's worth by the pleasure it gives?

06:06:47.000 What if you're a sadist?

06:06:48.000 Diamonds do not equal love, ladies. 0.97

06:06:50.000 I don't know.

06:06:50.000 Sorry.

06:06:51.000 I'm just not a fan of that song.

06:06:52.000 I'm not a fan of diamonds.

06:06:54.000 How can you measure it's worth just by the pleasure it gives?

06:06:57.000 Well, that's a horrible way to measure it's worth.

06:06:59.000 Right.

06:07:00.000 Rapists get a whole lot of pleasure out of it. 0.76

06:07:02.000 That's terrible.

06:07:03.000 Silver and Gold sounds like the new trainee duo that's going to sweep the internet soon.

06:07:06.000 Okay, let me ask you, Courtney, and then I'll let you go.

06:07:09.000 Courtney, Gerald, Jared, what did I miss in my 20 minutes?

06:07:13.000 You're looking at it.

06:07:14.000 Not much of anything.

06:07:15.000 We started talking about Muslim stuff a little bit because they put up something about Damascus not mentioning anything about what's really going on.

06:07:22.000 We mocked a woman's hair a little bit. 0.96

06:07:26.000 We did some ad hominem attacks.

06:07:29.000 There wasn't really much going on on CNN.

06:07:31.000 Is that the point?

06:07:32.000 That's got the Sharon Stone basic instinct here going on right now. 1.00

06:07:36.000 I know.

06:07:37.000 It's not clean.

06:07:38.000 Oh, really?

06:07:39.000 See, the thing is, you're going to get so many tweets like, Oh, it's sexy.

06:07:41.000 It's like after you got out of the shower.

06:07:43.000 Yeah.

06:07:44.000 Yeah.

06:07:44.000 I like that.

06:07:45.000 Yeah.

06:07:47.000 I won't meet people like that.

06:07:48.000 Courtney done to the shower.

06:07:49.000 Yeah.

06:07:50.000 This took a turn.

06:07:51.000 Love you, Courtney.

06:07:55.000 Courtney's all clean here.

06:07:57.000 She used a loofah here. 0.92

06:08:02.000 Oh my gosh.

06:08:04.000 Listen, I know you have work to do.

06:08:04.000 All right, Courtney.

06:08:05.000 Thank you so much, sweetheart, for being by.

06:08:07.000 We'll have you by later tonight when this isn't as torturous.

06:08:10.000 But thank you for helping me get a 20-minute lunch break in.

06:08:13.000 Good.

06:08:14.000 All right, Pumpkin.

06:08:15.000 You be well.

06:08:16.000 Bye.

06:08:17.000 Take care.

06:08:18.000 Bye. 0.99

06:08:18.000 See, I can say sweetheart to Courtney and she's not offended because she's not a feminist bitch. 0.99

06:08:22.000 And she's actually a sweetheart. 0.98

06:08:24.000 She is a sweetheart.

06:08:25.000 You know one thing I will say about Courtney?

06:08:27.000 Oh, look, how is scheduled today?

06:08:28.000 Vote to keep government running.

06:08:30.000 Well, hold on a second.

06:08:31.000 Did they mention that Republicans put a measure forward to fund through January 19th?

06:08:34.000 Have they mentioned that that's what the vote is?

06:08:36.000 I haven't heard it or seen it.

06:08:37.000 I haven't heard it once.

06:08:38.000 No.

06:08:40.000 All right, tweet me at S Crowder for those people out there.

06:08:42.000 there oh oh oh oh oh you got ow i think i just poked him in the eyeball he's got an elf beard nice oh this dog he's how close where does he need to be for you to see the close-up on him uh right in front of you right in front of me next hour right there okay get over there hopper hopper come here he goes to the nearest pets is where he goes he's like get that get it off

06:09:10.000 get it off I got you, buddy.

06:09:14.000 Oh gosh.

06:09:16.000 Oh, gosh.

06:09:20.000 All right.

06:09:21.000 So listen again, by the way, no, never mind.

06:09:26.000 I'm just amazed.

06:09:28.000 No mention at all yet?

06:09:29.000 No.

06:09:30.000 No mention that Republicans have already put forward a measure to keep us... No, they had to keep you watching their breaking news, repeat headlines.

06:09:37.000 Oh, that's Tamara Holder! 1.00

06:09:39.000 She's the one who Gavin McGinnis went nuclear on on Fox News.

06:09:41.000 I remember I used to be on Hannity's Great All-American Panel with her.

06:09:45.000 And that was actually, I will tell you this, this is going to sound really bad, but I'm giving you all the inside baseball because who cares?

06:09:49.000 I'm my own... I'm self-employed and apparently decided to work 16 hours today.

06:09:54.000 It's your own damn fault. 0.99

06:09:55.000 Immeasurable torture. 0.99

06:09:56.000 I remember I was on a panel with her on Fox News, and the same happened with Lonnie Davis and Doug Schoen, but specifically her.

06:10:03.000 And I realized, these people on news don't know anything.

06:10:09.000 Actually, it came over me.

06:10:10.000 I was going, oh my gosh.

06:10:11.000 Because I always felt as though I was woefully ill-equipped.

06:10:14.000 I was like, well, I shouldn't be on air.

06:10:15.000 I'm no expert.

06:10:16.000 And then I was on with Tamara Holder.

06:10:18.000 Very nice girl.

06:10:19.000 But I was on with Tamara Holder, and I said, wow. 0.89

06:10:23.000 Well, yeah, I should probably be speaking on news, if only to balance it out with someone who knows something.

06:10:29.000 I mean, these people on news know almost nothing.

06:10:32.000 And this sounds terrible to say.

06:10:33.000 Tamara Holder is a very nice girl.

06:10:36.000 She knows nothing.

06:10:37.000 Uh oh.

06:10:39.000 That's just the truth.

06:10:41.000 Yeah.

06:10:42.000 By the way, why is this bad?

06:10:43.000 Some companies to hand out bonuses to employees and it's in the frame of GOP tax cuts.

06:10:48.000 Is that a bad thing?

06:10:49.000 Disney Harris, taxes shouldn't be cut for the rich like me.

06:10:52.000 Oh, well then pay more.

06:10:53.000 Really?

06:10:53.000 Pay more, go ahead.

06:10:54.000 Why do I care what the Disney... That's the Disney Harris?

06:10:58.000 Oh my God.

06:10:59.000 I did not do anything to earn that money.

06:11:02.000 So give it away!

06:11:03.000 Give it away! 0.53

06:11:03.000 Yes! 0.53

06:11:04.000 Neither did Debra Wasserman Schultz!

06:11:06.000 Tell you what, you can find the federal tax... Hold on, let's turn this up, Senator Edward.

06:11:10.000 from other people and corporations, mostly in the 1%.

06:11:10.000 1% is 300,000 joint household income.

06:11:14.000 But it's probably- 1% is 300,000 joint household income.

06:11:16.000 Right.

06:11:17.000 To you.

06:11:18.000 For example, if you work for a living, your income is probably gonna be taxed at a higher rate than mine.

06:11:24.000 Once I set up a plastic corporation- Oh, good lord.

06:11:27.000 21%.

06:11:27.000 Yes!

06:11:27.000 Yes.

06:11:29.000 I really hope I've made you angry.

06:11:31.000 You should be.

06:11:32.000 You've made us angry by the looks.

06:11:33.000 No one who votes for this tax bill will be voting with your life in mind.

06:11:36.000 That's another thing that I don't care about.

06:11:39.000 Can we talk about this?

06:11:39.000 Here's another thing with CNN.

06:11:40.000 They want you to get mad, and they just appeal to your own selfish motives.

06:11:43.000 They're not voting with you in mind.

06:11:45.000 Why do you need to vote with only your own self-interest in mind?

06:11:45.000 Here's the deal.

06:11:50.000 Why don't you vote on what's right?

06:11:53.000 You know what I mean?

06:11:54.000 Like, what if a thief were to vote with his own self-interest in mind?

06:11:57.000 You know what I mean?

06:11:58.000 And that's what you have!

06:11:59.000 That's what Congress is!

06:12:00.000 When it's run by Democrats.

06:12:01.000 They're just voting for them to take more stuff!

06:12:05.000 They're like, Republicans vote against their own self-interest.

06:12:05.000 I don't understand this point.

06:12:07.000 To me, that's a beautiful thing.

06:12:09.000 To me, someone who stands nothing to gain by not stealing half after it's been taxed half from a wealthy person.

06:12:16.000 For me, that person in the middle of Arkansas who stands nothing to gain by repealing the death tax but saying, you know what?

06:12:22.000 I probably won't make any more, it won't put another, it won't put another penny in my pocket, but if that man wants to pass it down, I think it's wrong.

06:12:30.000 This Chapelle bit, they're talking about a comedy bit saying Trump is... Chapelle is fighting for me, not the poor.

06:12:36.000 Well, these are their sources.

06:12:38.000 The Disney heiress who didn't give it away in the first place, right?

06:12:41.000 Put your money where your mouth is, lady. 1.00

06:12:43.000 And write the check.

06:12:44.000 Write it to the IRS.

06:12:45.000 We'll get you the address.

06:12:46.000 You can send it.

06:12:47.000 Here's the thing.

06:12:48.000 She just said, I didn't earn it.

06:12:49.000 Okay, fine.

06:12:50.000 But that's the argument.

06:12:50.000 But you speak for yourself.

06:12:51.000 Like we said, they didn't earn it.

06:12:53.000 But neither did Congress.

06:12:56.000 Why didn't you give them any more right to it?

06:12:57.000 Why does anyone feel... Okay, if I work my ass off, and I have, alright?

06:13:02.000 If I work my ass off and we build something up, and you people willingly join Mug Club, as you have today, by the hundreds already, and you join up because you want to see this kind of content, you want to see someone call CNN and they're bullcrap, you join up because you want to support our business with your dollar over other businesses.

06:13:17.000 You've decided, right?

06:13:19.000 Instead of supporting a multi-national corporation, multi-billion dollar corporation, like Turner, CNN, you've decided you want to support independent media, lotearthcreditor.com, and you've given me your dollars, and we have a renewal rate that's insane.

06:13:31.000 I'm really touched.

06:13:31.000 Yeah.

06:13:32.000 People are asking to renew for three years.

06:13:33.000 We don't even have that as an option, I don't think.

06:13:35.000 But we will create an option and give you an awesome gift if you do.

06:13:37.000 But if you decide to do that, okay, and you say it's been worth every penny for you, and you're happy, and we haven't ripped you off, and let's say, at the end of my life, I have $20 million.

06:13:49.000 And that's after, let's say, that's after I'd have made $40 million and it's been taxed at $20 million.

06:13:54.000 Now listen, not even close.

06:13:55.000 I'm just saying there's a dream, right?

06:13:57.000 Let's say I have millions of dollars.

06:13:59.000 Why is it wrong?

06:14:00.000 Why has Debbie Wasserman Schultz or Nancy Pelosi or Mitch McConnell, why do they have more of a right to that money that I've earned?

06:14:10.000 Being passed than my children.

06:14:12.000 They don't.

06:14:13.000 Well, no, I know that, but I'm just trying to make any logical argument, any reasonable argument.

06:14:17.000 Can you let Hopper go in the, uh... Yeah, yeah, yeah.

06:14:19.000 Someone needs to let Hopper out.

06:14:21.000 He keeps wanting to come in and out of the studio.

06:14:23.000 I just, someone tweet me, at S. Crowder, hashtag CrowderCNNLivestream.

06:14:27.000 What is the argument?

06:14:28.000 Why does the government have more right to your estate, to what you've earned in your lifetime, than your blood?

06:14:36.000 Can anyone give me an answer?

06:14:39.000 I'm looking through your tweets right now, actually.

06:14:41.000 I think I can give you what I think the answer will probably be.

06:14:44.000 All right, let me hear it.

06:14:45.000 Because I want to hear what the wrong answer is.

06:14:47.000 Exactly.

06:14:48.000 I think the answer is because there's need.

06:14:50.000 Because there's poverty.

06:14:51.000 There's people that have less than you that need it more than you do, which comes to a very, very, very, very dangerous place.

06:14:57.000 They need it more than you do.

06:14:58.000 And at some point, we can take it from you by force, if necessary, to give it to people who need it.

06:15:03.000 I think that's what the answer is going to be.

06:15:05.000 I think that's the exact wrong way to do it.

06:15:07.000 Oh, good!

06:15:08.000 128 to 9 to condemn Trump.

06:15:11.000 Oh, that's good.

06:15:13.000 Hold on a second, sorry.

06:15:16.000 Someone said Jared needs more caffeine, so someone get Jared some more caffeine, because people are saying he looks like he's falling asleep here.

06:15:22.000 That's accurate, that's accurate.

06:15:26.000 You were awesome.

06:15:27.000 I love this.

06:15:27.000 My only Christmas wish...

06:15:29.000 Is for a Mug Club subscription.

06:15:30.000 Well, Justin Leeds, maybe you'll get what you wish for.

06:15:34.000 You can donate at pay.gov.

06:15:35.000 That's true.

06:15:36.000 You can always donate at pay.gov.

06:15:37.000 Now, do you know why most people don't donate at pay.gov?

06:15:40.000 Because it's probably the charity where the least amount of money goes to people in need.

06:15:45.000 I don't know the name of an organization that actually measures what percentage of charitable donations actually goes to those in need.

06:15:50.000 I think the worst rated was Bono.

06:15:53.000 His one foundation, because less than 1%, ironically, went to those in need.

06:15:57.000 I think it's like Christian Children's Fund, they changed the name, it was over 80%.

06:15:57.000 That's awesome.

06:16:02.000 If you're over 60, it's really rare.

06:16:03.000 Yeah.

06:16:04.000 So you can always donate your money to pay.gov.

06:16:07.000 I won't be doing it, but hopefully the Disney-Harris, who sits on a throne of anti-Semitic bloodlust and cryogenically frozen freak shows. 0.81

06:16:16.000 The multibillion-dollar company that buys multibillion-dollar companies.

06:16:21.000 You remember when Warren Buffett was making that same argument?

06:16:24.000 Someone just said it was really cute when Hopper was leaning on you, but yes, go ahead.

06:16:26.000 That's true.

06:16:27.000 Hopper's a cute animal.

06:16:29.000 Yes.

06:16:29.000 He made me cute.

06:16:30.000 That's what I'm saying.

06:16:32.000 He was making that exact same argument, saying that his secretary was going to pay a higher percentage than him, and never did he say, and by the way, to correct that problem, I sent the government more money.

06:16:42.000 Nobody has ever said that or done that.

06:16:44.000 He's going to give a lot away to charity, and that's fine.

06:16:46.000 We are all for giving it away to charity to help, but not having it stolen from you.

06:16:51.000 At a certain point, I've paid for the services that we enjoy as citizens.

06:16:55.000 I've paid my share of fire, water, roads, police, whatever else you want to throw in there.

06:17:01.000 I've paid my share at some point.

06:17:03.000 You don't have any right to tell me I have to pay more.

06:17:06.000 Right?

06:17:06.000 Yeah.

06:17:07.000 I understand you have the thought that maybe I should, but you can't defend it.

06:17:10.000 And that's the issue that we have right now is that they're saying, no, no, no.

06:17:10.000 Right.

06:17:12.000 Every need that we can possibly find that gives us power to put money in somebody else's hands, to stay in office, that is something that we have to take money from you to give to them.

06:17:22.000 Well, someone said, uh, because Marxism.

06:17:24.000 That's from Lisa B. Well, yeah, reasonable.

06:17:26.000 Someone said, uh, government is God.

06:17:28.000 Once you die, everything goes to God.

06:17:29.000 Uh, someone said... It's a bad God.

06:17:32.000 ...because it's not your money either way.

06:17:33.000 The government just lets you use it.

06:17:35.000 No, that's God's money.

06:17:36.000 All good things flow from our benevolent... No, I think these are sarcastic answers.

06:17:38.000 Yeah, I know.

06:17:40.000 Um, and someone asked, here's something interesting.

06:17:42.000 King Colli, I don't know, J. Ford 88 says, the government is virtuous and moral, so they need to take your money and distribute it in a fair manner.

06:17:48.000 Now...

06:17:49.000 No, no, I'm pretty sure this is sarcastic, but that is actually a really good summary of what the left believes.

06:17:57.000 They believe corporations are evil, power corrupts, look at net neutrality.

06:18:01.000 It's this selective corporatism, by the way.

06:18:04.000 They're supporting that neutrality.

06:18:04.000 is inherently virtuous.

06:18:06.000 Google, Facebook, Twitter, they're inherently virtuous because they support our things until they don't.

06:18:10.000 And businesses, people who actually have to provide a service or a product to make a living are inherently evil.

06:18:17.000 And government, for some reason, which is the biggest bloated multi-billion dollar, trillion dollar, however you want to compare it, Conglomerate, corporation, amalgamation of everything that is unholy, for some reason, when it comes to them, and by the way, they've run up a bill of trillions and trillions of dollars, not only my money, not only your parents' money, but our kids' kids' kids' money, you're supposed to believe for some reason that they are inherently morally right and virtuous.

06:18:45.000 And by the way, which one is inherently morally right and virtuous?

06:18:47.000 When you're talking about the death tax, you're saying, well, the government will know how to use it better.

06:18:50.000 Well, which government?

06:18:51.000 George W. Bush?

06:18:53.000 Barack Obama?

06:18:55.000 Donald Trump?

06:18:55.000 Because guess what?

06:18:56.000 Each person, each administration, has wildly different ideas of what they want to do with your money.

06:19:00.000 But they still all have access to take money from your kids.

06:19:02.000 So liberals aren't even consistent with, look what Donald Trump wants to do!

06:19:06.000 Yeah, but you want to give him all the money! 0.79

06:19:07.000 No, I don't want to give all the money, but it's the next guy!

06:19:10.000 But he's going to have it now!

06:19:11.000 I think they fool themselves by thinking, OK, if it goes to government, then everything's up for a vote.

06:19:17.000 Then it's still my decision.

06:19:17.000 Yeah.

06:19:19.000 It's like, no, that's not how it works.

06:19:21.000 Not quite how it works.

06:19:22.000 Speaking of, oh, go ahead.

06:19:23.000 I was going to say, you know, you look at the corporatists and even the robber barons in their worst days, the people that were having other people killed so they wouldn't join unions would blush at what government officials do.

06:19:35.000 These guys, like, government is the most corrupt.

06:19:38.000 It's not real life.

06:19:38.000 We have House of Cards.

06:19:40.000 But I have a strange feeling that it's probably closer to real life than we want to believe.

06:19:44.000 Yeah.

06:19:45.000 The stuff that goes on in politics and around power is nothing.

06:19:45.000 Okay.

06:19:49.000 I mean, isn't the corporations... You heard what Kevin Spacey did with the boom mic though, right?

06:19:53.000 Oh, well.

06:19:56.000 And ironically, House of Cards, we were saying this, is the least biased show out there because everyone's just horrible.

06:20:00.000 They don't feel any requirement to make anyone, you know, redeemable.

06:20:05.000 Right.

06:20:05.000 You mentioned that about West Wing, too.

06:20:06.000 I think you guys were talking about it.

06:20:07.000 He's a big West Wing fan.

06:20:08.000 Huge West Wing fan.

06:20:09.000 Before Aaron Sorkin lost his mind and did Newsroom, which was the worst thing ever.

06:20:13.000 He's done some bad stuff.

06:20:13.000 He's done some very bad stuff, but he does a lot of great stuff.

06:20:15.000 He does good dialogue.

06:20:16.000 That was fair because he gave both sides.

06:20:18.000 He obviously had a liberal slant, but he at least presented the Republican point of view in that show reasonably.

06:20:23.000 Like it wasn't some crazy person making the argument.

06:20:25.000 Look at this.

06:20:25.000 Hold on real quick.

06:20:27.000 This hasn't changed.

06:20:27.000 U.N.

06:20:27.000 votes 128 to 9.

06:20:29.000 Trump's breaking news.

06:20:30.000 That should be Clinton's, actually.

06:20:32.000 It should be Clinton's Jerusalem. 0.99

06:20:35.000 It should actually be 360 whatever people in Congress.

06:20:41.000 Breaking news.

06:20:42.000 How dishonest is this?

06:20:44.000 Find out who the nine are that voted with us.

06:20:46.000 Yeah, let's find out who the nine are.

06:20:47.000 I'd say UK.

06:20:49.000 Who are the nine? 0.69

06:20:50.000 Tweet us.

06:20:52.000 Um, I'm curious, who would you think, who would vote with us, Jared?

06:20:55.000 You think Canada?

06:20:58.000 No.

06:20:58.000 But here's, you know, here's my point, you guys remember my point?

06:20:59.000 It says breaking news.

06:21:01.000 Yeah.

06:21:01.000 It always says breaking news.

06:21:02.000 We talked about this at nine or ten.

06:21:04.000 That's a lie.

06:21:05.000 Yeah.

06:21:07.000 Can you see the screen?

06:21:08.000 Yep.

06:21:09.000 Stay right there.

06:21:10.000 Stay right there.

06:21:12.000 This is a lie!

06:21:14.000 Where's the camera?

06:21:16.000 You just look towards Jared.

06:21:18.000 Oh, you're good, you're good.

06:21:19.000 Where is it though?

06:21:20.000 This... This is a lie!

06:21:20.000 It's back there.

06:21:25.000 That's not true!

06:21:27.000 This isn't true! 0.98

06:21:28.000 You're terrible! 0.96

06:21:29.000 This is all untrue! 0.99

06:21:33.000 Everything about it is a lie!

06:21:36.000 Probably false.

06:21:36.000 It is not breaking news!

06:21:39.000 Do you see me?

06:21:40.000 Nah, it's a little dark.

06:21:41.000 Come back.

06:21:41.000 Get further back.

06:21:44.000 It's a lie.

06:21:48.000 Everything here has been a lie today.

06:21:50.000 We have our hit list.

06:21:51.000 We're not even at night time.

06:21:52.000 That's Candy Crowley, remove water. 1.00

06:21:54.000 This is a lie.

06:21:56.000 Mark the time.

06:21:59.000 It said earlier.

06:22:00.000 It said it was yesterday, right?

06:22:02.000 Earlier doesn't mean yesterday!

06:22:06.000 It's not yesterday!

06:22:08.000 December 21st, 118 PM, Steven loses his mind.

06:22:11.000 When people watch CNN, when you say, Al Franken said this earlier, if I say, yeah man, earlier, I started the livestream today.

06:22:20.000 If I say earlier, do you think yesterday?

06:22:22.000 No.

06:22:23.000 No!

06:22:24.000 No, if I say breaking news, do you think that I'm saying something that's not breaking news?

06:22:30.000 Probably so. 1.00

06:22:32.000 Son of a bitch! 1.00

06:22:34.000 This isn't that hard. 1.00

06:22:36.000 Why?

06:22:37.000 Sorry, Sound Guy Edward, I know your work is cut out for you.

06:22:40.000 But gosh, I'm done.

06:22:41.000 I'm done with it now.

06:22:42.000 I just, I can't believe, it's a lie!

06:22:44.000 The only way this could happen, by the way, uh...

06:22:50.000 Hold on a second.

06:22:51.000 You're fine.

06:22:51.000 I think Sven Computer had something on you.

06:22:53.000 Sven Computer has it, but the only... This is the only way this could happen.

06:22:56.000 And I don't expect this to be the most fun thing that you've watched.

06:22:59.000 Believe me, I don't.

06:23:00.000 This is by far the worst thing I've ever done in my life.

06:23:03.000 I hate it.

06:23:04.000 I would much rather be waterboarded. 0.80

06:23:05.000 Yes.

06:23:06.000 It is so painful.

06:23:09.000 It is a lie.

06:23:12.000 It's a lie!

06:23:12.000 Straight from the pit, brothers!

06:23:15.000 That it's breaking news!

06:23:17.000 I don't know what... I mean, I guess they could say, well, what really constitutes breaking news?

06:23:22.000 Just like earlier, it said breaking news.

06:23:24.000 A GOP lawmaker says they are unlikely to fire Mueller.

06:23:30.000 First off, that GOP lawmaker didn't say it.

06:23:32.000 The White House officially said it, and they said it yesterday.

06:23:35.000 It's like saying, like, I don't know, gosh.

06:23:39.000 It's like saying, you know, what was the vote?

06:23:40.000 You're going to lose your voice here.

06:23:41.000 I'm going to lose my voice.

06:23:42.000 Sven, what were we going to say?

06:23:42.000 Sorry.

06:23:43.000 You've got to come down.

06:23:45.000 Well, so, the nations that... I can't hear you.

06:23:47.000 What?

06:23:47.000 What was that?

06:23:47.000 What?

06:23:49.000 The nations that voted for the resolution... Bob, that was the U.S.

06:23:54.000 obviously, Israel, Guatemala, Honduras, the Marshall Islands, Micronesia, Nauru, Palau, and Togo.

06:24:00.000 So... Pretty useless nations. 0.98

06:24:02.000 Are you serious? 0.99

06:24:03.000 Yeah.

06:24:04.000 We couldn't strong-arm anybody else?

06:24:07.000 Yeah, France and the U.K.

06:24:09.000 voted for the resolution, so they were in on it.

06:24:12.000 Oh, France and the U.K.

06:24:13.000 screwed us on that?

06:24:15.000 Wait, so Guatemala voted?

06:24:19.000 The Federated Nations of Micronesia also... Why?

06:24:22.000 Why would Guatemala be on the Israeli side? 0.84

06:24:24.000 This is, again, I'm watching CNN today, so I have no idea.

06:24:27.000 I have no context.

06:24:28.000 Yeah, none.

06:24:30.000 Togo.

06:24:30.000 No major nation stuck it out with this, apparently.

06:24:34.000 I think Guatemala is like the most reasonable of the list.

06:24:36.000 Yeah, well, except Israel, for obvious reasons. 0.93

06:24:38.000 Well, of course, yeah. 0.90

06:24:39.000 Of course Israel wouldn't vote to like, oh crap, Jerusalem's our capital, really?

06:24:43.000 I don't, yeah. 0.95

06:24:44.000 So many construction costs.

06:24:46.000 It would have been funny if they would have actually voted to condemn themselves, because they're like, hell, you've done it to us so many times, we might as well do it.

06:24:51.000 We just can't even.

06:24:52.000 Let me ask you this, Jerusalem.

06:24:53.000 Yeah.

06:24:54.000 Right now, where's Jerusalem?

06:24:57.000 I mean, which country is it?

06:24:57.000 What do you mean?

06:24:59.000 It's not in Palestine? 0.63

06:24:59.000 It's in Israel. 0.63

06:25:01.000 No.

06:25:01.000 It's not in Egypt?

06:25:02.000 No.

06:25:02.000 None of those places.

06:25:02.000 It's not in Jordan?

06:25:03.000 Not Syria? 0.89

06:25:04.000 No.

06:25:04.000 Not one of the countries that wanted to wipe them off the face of the map?

06:25:06.000 No.

06:25:07.000 So is it actually in Israel?

06:25:08.000 Yeah.

06:25:08.000 So it's not like we have to expand Israel's territory for Jerusalem?

06:25:12.000 No.

06:25:12.000 So it's in Israel right now?

06:25:12.000 No.

06:25:14.000 Has been for a long time.

06:25:15.000 Why?

06:25:15.000 Yeah.

06:25:16.000 So why is this a thing?

06:25:17.000 Hmm.

06:25:18.000 We're talking about Jerusalem.

06:25:22.000 It's in Israel.

06:25:23.000 It'd be like right now, them saying like... The Eternal Capital.

06:25:25.000 Oh! 0.60

06:25:25.000 Like, if we wanted to move the capital from Washington, D.C. 0.60

06:25:28.000 I don't know.

06:25:29.000 To Vancouver.

06:25:29.000 Let's say... Well, no, no, not to Vancouver.

06:25:31.000 That's the opposite.

06:25:32.000 To New York City.

06:25:33.000 We're wanting to move it to Dallas.

06:25:34.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

06:25:35.000 People would be like, well, what about Vancouver?

06:25:37.000 They really think... It doesn't matter.

06:25:39.000 We already have these cities.

06:25:40.000 Yeah, yeah.

06:25:40.000 Why would you say Vancouver?

06:25:41.000 That's the worst analogy.

06:25:42.000 I thought you were going the opposite way.

06:25:43.000 Like, saying we were going to move it.

06:25:44.000 Why would I go the opposite way?

06:25:45.000 I thought you were doing it.

06:25:45.000 He's not making any sense.

06:25:46.000 He's not making any sense.

06:25:46.000 No.

06:25:47.000 Did you get caffeine?

06:25:48.000 No one brought it to me.

06:25:49.000 Nobody brought it to you.

06:25:50.000 Caffeine, garcon! 0.95

06:25:51.000 Someone needs to bring, what do you want?

06:25:52.000 You want the coffee machine or you want the energy pack thing?

06:25:54.000 Those energy packs are great.

06:25:56.000 We'll do some coffee here in just a second.

06:25:57.000 Okay, Gerald will help us with some coffee in just a second.

06:26:01.000 Okay, Sven, what was it you had that was interesting?

06:26:02.000 We have some more signups, don't we?

06:26:04.000 Of course we have.

06:26:06.000 I'm sorry, what?

06:26:07.000 Of course we have.

06:26:07.000 Beep, beep.

06:26:10.000 What's about, is there something happening?

06:26:12.000 Hopper wants to come back.

06:26:13.000 Hopper's coming back in.

06:26:14.000 We have new digs.

06:26:14.000 I don't know how I like him.

06:26:16.000 Hopper! 0.93

06:26:16.000 What? 0.93

06:26:17.000 Hopper, come here, buddy!

06:26:18.000 Come here, Hopper, come here.

06:26:20.000 Go that way, go that way, go that way.

06:26:24.000 I'm the closest.

06:26:26.000 I'm just the closest.

06:26:30.000 He's got a socialisms for figs onesie.

06:26:31.000 We're selling them for babies now.

06:26:33.000 At ottowithcrowdershop.com.

06:26:35.000 I want to see pictures of babies in that.

06:26:37.000 Awesome.

06:26:38.000 I love it. 1.00

06:26:39.000 Hopper's just, he's just, he's a whore for pets. 1.00

06:26:42.000 He is. 0.99

06:26:43.000 When I'm doing the show he doesn't come to me because he knows I'm distracted and I won't pet him.

06:26:46.000 Well, I think he comes to the closest pet person and works his way over.

06:26:50.000 He's very strategic.

06:26:51.000 What's the short?

06:26:52.000 If I were to go this way, what's the short?

06:26:53.000 If I go the way the crow flies to pets, it's Gerald.

06:26:59.000 That's true.

06:27:00.000 Even though he made me put it in the house when he was supposed to dog sit me once.

06:27:04.000 The one time Hopper ever pooped in the house was when he was dog sitting, and he pooped in the corner of the office, which tells me that Gerald, at G. Morgan Jr., send him your hate, hashtag CrowderCNN livestream, did not let him out to go to the bathroom.

06:27:14.000 I did my job, didn't I, buddy?

06:27:15.000 You have no wife, no prospects, no kids, and no dog, and so you don't understand.

06:27:18.000 What do you mean no prospects?

06:27:19.000 What are you talking about?

06:27:20.000 The dogs need to go out like every two hours.

06:27:22.000 So this dog woke me up in the middle of the night, and when they got back, I was like, hey, is this pretty normal?

06:27:26.000 And he goes, no, he just didn't respect you.

06:27:30.000 That is true.

06:27:32.000 Hopper is the sweetest dog, as you can see, but Hopper pushes.

06:27:32.000 It is true.

06:27:36.000 He pushes for sure to see where you are.

06:27:39.000 He'll growl. 0.99

06:27:40.000 He almost bit Clint Howard's balls off. 0.99

06:27:44.000 Clint Howard, okay, this is a true story. 0.97

06:27:45.000 I love Clint Howard.

06:27:46.000 You saw him in there as Susan Wojcicki.

06:27:48.000 He did a brilliant job.

06:27:49.000 But Clint Howard is an eccentric guy.

06:27:52.000 I don't think that's breaking news.

06:27:54.000 We don't need a chyron. 1.00

06:27:56.000 But so the Clint Howard, we have a rule with Hopper, right?

06:27:57.000 Since he's a big dog, people ask him, what breed is he?

06:27:59.000 He's a Dogo Argentino.

06:28:00.000 So very strong, you know, 80 plus pounds.

06:28:02.000 These are hunting dogs.

06:28:04.000 So the rule is, and if you ever do dog training or you go with, like Cesar Millan talks about this, but there are other dog trainers too, even ones that aren't that aggressive in their training of dogs.

06:28:12.000 And some people, oh, Cesar Millan's abusive.

06:28:14.000 No, he's not.

06:28:14.000 Anyway, point is, They will tell you, ignore the dog, always when you come home.

06:28:17.000 When you come home, ignore him, take just like a liter of the pack, a liter of a dog pack, doesn't come in, and just go, and fawn over you with praise.

06:28:25.000 You come in, you set your bags down, take your shoes off, and then call him over.

06:28:29.000 And a big reason, you know, for him, if you don't call him over, he'll come over and he'll throw your hand, he's done it with his fen computer.

06:28:35.000 He'll knock you over. 0.84

06:28:36.000 Well, he's a big dog, yeah. 0.90

06:28:36.000 He'll knock you over. 0.90

06:28:37.000 Yeah, he's a big dog.

06:28:38.000 Most people, he'll lean on you and knock you over.

06:28:39.000 And he'll do it to be pet, but if you have a cup of coffee or something, Oh, developing now, FBI director grilled amid bias claims.

06:28:47.000 Wait.

06:28:47.000 Bias claims?

06:28:48.000 You mean, hold on, replace FBI deputy director with CNN?

06:28:54.000 But hey, you'll like this.

06:28:55.000 It doesn't say breaking news.

06:28:57.000 I know, but it's a little toned down, at least.

06:28:57.000 What says developing now?

06:29:00.000 A little.

06:29:01.000 I hope Anthrax is delivered to their... No, he doesn't.

06:29:04.000 Not real anthrax, like an envelope, like in House of Cards, where it's like a lockdown, where no one can do their job for four hours, they just blow the powder.

06:29:10.000 I call this the tale of misfortune CNN.

06:29:13.000 But like one of those things that gives them, it's not anthrax, but it gives them a heart attack, so they die from that, so you're still guilt-free.

06:29:13.000 What?

06:29:20.000 Right, it's like the chalk.

06:29:21.000 Yeah, you can sleep at night.

06:29:22.000 No, it wasn't me.

06:29:22.000 Wasn't you.

06:29:23.000 What was the answer?

06:29:23.000 Oh, Hopper.

06:29:25.000 So anyway, so the point is with Hopper, you ignore him and same thing, you don't pet him unless you call him over, otherwise he'll learn to bully you.

06:29:25.000 Yes.

06:29:30.000 Right.

06:29:30.000 So we told Clint Howard and his significant other, who is lovely by the way, lovely lady, if you're watching, thank you so much for coming with Clint.

06:29:36.000 She was really sweet.

06:29:37.000 Sweet, sweet people.

06:29:38.000 Very bright guy too, Clint Howard.

06:29:40.000 And we're like, okay, so listen, don't acknowledge Hopper when you walk in, ignore him, and then when you settle in, sit down and just call him over in a firm voice and, you know, pet him and praise him and that's the best way that he'll love you for life.

06:29:40.000 Just eccentric.

06:29:51.000 Yeah.

06:29:52.000 Walks into the studio.

06:29:53.000 First- Breaks the first rule before he's- Hi, Hopper!

06:29:56.000 Yeah.

06:29:57.000 And I swear to you, Jared, you can tell me- Now, Jared, you can tell me if I'm exaggerating.

06:30:01.000 He's like, You're a good dog!

06:30:03.000 Oh, firm!

06:30:04.000 So he's- He actually says, like, Oh, firm!

06:30:06.000 And he does this, like, Hey, Hopper!

06:30:11.000 Just like that.

06:30:12.000 And Hopper starts doing this.

06:30:13.000 And I see his hair going up.

06:30:17.000 And Hopper, God bless him.

06:30:19.000 He's just a growler.

06:30:20.000 He's not a biter, but- Oh, Hopper! 1.00

06:30:22.000 Yeah!

06:30:23.000 I'm your buddy!

06:30:24.000 You don't need to growl!

06:30:25.000 I'm like, hey, how about we bring Hopper over here?

06:30:27.000 I was expecting breaking news.

06:30:28.000 Right-wing extremist dog massacres Glenn Howard.

06:30:32.000 Can you imagine Hopper getting into an animal?

06:30:34.000 Has he ever gotten into something? 0.97

06:30:36.000 Because he's white, he has blood all over him. 1.00

06:30:38.000 It would just look like a murder scene. 0.83

06:30:40.000 Yeah, developing now.

06:30:41.000 Hopper killed a lizard.

06:30:42.000 A lizard?

06:30:43.000 How did he catch a lizard?

06:30:44.000 Ow, I got a cramp in my foot.

06:30:46.000 You ever get a cramp, like a spasm in the arch of your foot?

06:30:48.000 Is this a CNN watching spasm?

06:30:49.000 No, this is not a joke.

06:30:51.000 Those are the worst.

06:30:52.000 Stand up, stand up, stand up, stand up!

06:30:54.000 Walk it off! 1.00

06:30:58.000 Attaboy.

06:30:59.000 It's okay.

06:30:59.000 You're doing good.

06:31:00.000 Hey man, this is what it takes to be an athlete to be on this show.

06:31:03.000 There you go.

06:31:06.000 Oh, nope.

06:31:07.000 Nobody wants to see that.

06:31:08.000 Yeah, right now it's the self-hate running through your body, coursing through your veins from this moment. 0.71

06:31:16.000 Is this what really fat people that sit on the couch all day feel like?

06:31:19.000 Thank you, sweet Jesus.

06:31:20.000 And I mean that, that we got this chair in time.

06:31:22.000 Because imagine doing this on those chairs.

06:31:25.000 Those are like beautiful, super expensive chairs, but they are not comfortable.

06:31:28.000 Yeah, not for long periods of time, at least.

06:31:30.000 OK, so we were saying something before that.

06:31:32.000 Hopper killed a lizard.

06:31:33.000 Yes, he killed a lizard.

06:31:34.000 Kind of looked like this guy.

06:31:36.000 And then he killed the rat, which looked like him, and he killed the lizard, which looked like her.

06:31:40.000 He killed the rat in my parents' garage.

06:31:44.000 And it was so fast.

06:31:46.000 It was so fast, because you've seen him when he gets old.

06:31:46.000 I don't understand.

06:31:49.000 He's such a big dog.

06:31:50.000 And he's like eight and a half.

06:31:51.000 He's not young.

06:31:51.000 He just looked, and all we heard was...

06:31:54.000 Boom! 0.99

06:31:55.000 And then he went back, and his ears were up, and he just stared, and he kind of did this, where he looked at us, and the same thing with the lizard on the wall, uh, outside.

06:32:02.000 And that's when he goes out, when you let him out to the bathroom, every now and then, Gerald Dogg sits, he looks at that, he just walks out, and he fixates.

06:32:10.000 Yeah, he tries to find stuff.

06:32:11.000 And I will tell you this, when Hopper fixates, when he gets rigid and his ears go up, he's a majestic looking dog.

06:32:17.000 Yeah.

06:32:18.000 Because he's tall, and he's got this barrel chest, and he's big.

06:32:21.000 When he's kind of hunched over, he's happy, he's wiggly, you're like, oh, OK.

06:32:24.000 But when he gets really on alert, he is a beautiful.

06:32:27.000 And I've seen people cross the streets because they're terrified of him.

06:32:29.000 Well, of course.

06:32:30.000 He's a gigantic dog.

06:32:30.000 Remember that one time we were out in the park, playing around, and you had the laser?

06:32:35.000 Yeah.

06:32:35.000 And he almost took my knee out.

06:32:37.000 Yeah, I know.

06:32:38.000 I mean, like, I had to lift my leg up off the ground, otherwise he would have blown my leg out, because he was following the laser.

06:32:43.000 Wait, is this live?

06:32:44.000 Can someone tell me, is this live?

06:32:45.000 No, I believe this is, no, this is not live, because I saw it earlier today when I was on here.

06:32:51.000 They're just replaying stuff.

06:32:53.000 Okay, here's why.

06:32:54.000 And Reg was just sending this to me.

06:32:55.000 I forgot about this.

06:32:55.000 Yesterday, McCabe was questioned for, I think, seven... Reg is saying seven and a half hours.

06:33:02.000 At Sven Computer, make sure I can hear you, but can we confirm that it was seven and a half hours?

06:33:06.000 I would have to check the article, but... Yes, okay.

06:33:09.000 You can just say yes.

06:33:10.000 I already know.

06:33:11.000 I was doing it to give you a cameo.

06:33:12.000 Well, I can bring up the article if you want to.

06:33:12.000 Damage?

06:33:14.000 Okay.

06:33:14.000 So, we'll bring up the article.

06:33:15.000 Yeah, that'd be great.

06:33:17.000 Beep-beep. 0.99

06:33:17.000 Good lords. 0.99

06:33:19.000 How hard is it to say beep-beep-boop with every word in your computer?

06:33:21.000 Beep-beep-boop. 1.00

06:33:22.000 That's what computers say.

06:33:23.000 Try doing it when you're not speaking in your native language.

06:33:26.000 Yeah, I know.

06:33:26.000 Beep-beep.

06:33:27.000 Try hosting.

06:33:28.000 Try being tortured for 16 hours.

06:33:31.000 And having a cramp.

06:33:32.000 He gets to wear a sweatsuit every day at work.

06:33:34.000 Well, that is a masculine thing.

06:33:35.000 Well, he doesn't really get to wear a sweatsuit.

06:33:36.000 He's a computer.

06:33:37.000 That's true.

06:33:39.000 Uh, by the way, this lady, someone's not looking out for her on air. 1.00

06:33:44.000 Aw, come on. 0.96

06:33:45.000 I'm just saying, someone's not looking out for her.

06:33:47.000 No, my mom would say this.

06:33:48.000 My mom would say, French-Canadian, she's, uh, the way she is, is not doing her any favor. 1.00

06:33:55.000 I've been around your mom enough times.

06:33:57.000 It's not doing her any favor.

06:33:58.000 Same thing like if you're a little boisterous, she's like, hey, you're not shy?

06:34:03.000 Which is funny because French Canadians say, hey, sois pas gênée means, hey, don't be shy.

06:34:07.000 Like, hey, do you want this?

06:34:08.000 Sois pas gênée.

06:34:08.000 But then if you do something bad, they're like, y'est pas gênée, which means, hey, he's not shy.

06:34:12.000 So it's like, your invitation is a pretext to your screw you.

06:34:17.000 Yeah.

06:34:18.000 Okay, so, 7.5 hours McCabe was questioned.

06:34:21.000 Couldn't provide one single example.

06:34:24.000 Wow.

06:34:25.000 Not one of a substantive dossier, this Trump dossier allegation, that had been verified by the FBI.

06:34:32.000 Here, I have this right here.

06:34:33.000 I think Sven Kamiri has the overlay.

06:34:35.000 When asked, when he learned of the dossier, he had been funded by... When asked, when he learned that the dossier, let's go to Sven's overlay.

06:34:42.000 Sorry, I have a hiccup.

06:34:43.000 I had the worst salmon for lunch.

06:34:45.000 I had a 15 minute lunch and it was salmon jerky.

06:34:48.000 Love you, sweetheart.

06:34:50.000 Had been funded by the Hillary Clinton campaign and the DNC.

06:34:52.000 McCabe claimed he could not recall despite the reported existence of documents with McCabe's own signature on them.

06:35:01.000 So still no mention of Uranium One.

06:35:04.000 Still don't mention it, by the way, hashtag CrowderCNN livestream.

06:35:07.000 It's been trending all day, certainly more than anything CNN's put out there.

06:35:10.000 You know they're just in that office, furious.

06:35:13.000 I can't say exactly, because I would be in legal trouble, but I knew they didn't like it this morning.

06:35:18.000 I guarantee you now they're furious.

06:35:19.000 Hey, CNN, CNN, just so you know, it gets a lot worse when your primetime programming starts.

06:35:25.000 I just want you to know, this is going to be really bad for you.

06:35:29.000 Like, it's gonna be very uncomfortable.

06:35:31.000 I want everyone, everyone right now, everyone who's watching, every Mug Club member, blast out. 1.00

06:35:34.000 Hashtag CrowderCNN livestream.

06:35:36.000 Let's boost it up to the top for a little bit, because I know there's gonna be a lull.

06:35:38.000 You're gonna need your five-hour energy, your afternoon snack.

06:35:40.000 Jared needs some caffeine.

06:35:42.000 But, tonight, I need everyone out there.

06:35:45.000 Tonight, during prime time, all hands on deck.

06:35:48.000 It is going to be biblical. 0.81

06:35:50.000 Okay?

06:35:52.000 Okay?

06:35:53.000 It's gonna be biblical with the CNN and their scrap there, huh?

06:35:57.000 Yeah.

06:35:57.000 Huh?

06:35:59.000 Yeah.

06:35:59.000 Oh gosh, that lady's even worse when she smiles.

06:36:01.000 Don't do it.

06:36:03.000 Oh, we have to go to, uh... Oh, no, no.

06:36:03.000 What?

06:36:05.000 We have, uh... We have a... Something interesting I found earlier.

06:36:07.000 Sven has the overlay from TechCrunch.

06:36:10.000 Get that one.

06:36:10.000 What's the computer overlay from TechCrunch?

06:36:12.000 So this is trending right now on Facebook.

06:36:16.000 Facebook will ditch disputed flags on fake news and display links to trustworthy articles instead.

06:36:21.000 So in other words, they're just not going to... Guess who determines who trustworthy articles are?

06:36:25.000 Yeah, so here you go.

06:36:26.000 Facebook, who supported net neutrality because they want a fair and open internet, are going to determine what news you read by WaPo and Snopes.

06:36:35.000 Because they have your best interest at heart. 0.91

06:36:37.000 You dummies. 1.00

06:36:38.000 I'm sorry, but you stupid morons on YouTube who think net neutrality was for you. 1.00

06:36:43.000 You are just eating out. 1.00

06:36:45.000 They have you eating from the palm of their hand.

06:36:47.000 Good for you!

06:36:51.000 You YouTube, Facebook, Google, Twitter rubes.

06:36:55.000 Jack Dorsey bent you over his desk and combed your hair, but didn't even ask you before he started.

06:37:02.000 Those who are, who supported the 2015 net neutrality rules.

06:37:06.000 We don't use the sheep diss very often, but this is pretty, this is a good use of sheep.

06:37:11.000 Yeah.

06:37:13.000 I don't know, I think it's Edward Sango saying it's frozen.

06:37:15.000 I don't think the stream is frozen.

06:37:16.000 It's working fine.

06:37:18.000 It is...

06:37:20.000 Well, you know what's going to happen with Facebook.

06:37:22.000 The good thing for us is we probably won't be that harmed because Facebook was caught throttling us and we have them on record admitting that we weren't the kind of news they wanted to go after.

06:37:30.000 So if they want to, come on Facebook.

06:37:32.000 And by the way, this is a good time to mention lotterworthcreditor.com slash MugClub.

06:37:35.000 The only reason we were able to hire my half-Asian lawyer, Bill Richman, and put him now on retainer.

06:37:40.000 So Bill Richman is now going to be on retainer is because of you joining at lotterworthcreditor.com slash MugClub.

06:37:45.000 Hit the overlay there, NotKJared.

06:37:47.000 Hit the overlay.

06:37:48.000 LouderWithCrowder.com.

06:37:50.000 Bill Richmond, good example.

06:37:51.000 SMU Law grad.

06:37:51.000 Great guy.

06:37:53.000 Unbelievable lawyer.

06:37:54.000 And he said, this is the most entertaining job I've ever done.

06:37:57.000 He loves working with us and now we're able to put him on retainer.

06:38:00.000 Not only that, but give him profit sharing in the Louder With Crowder enterprise.

06:38:03.000 Because listen, it's taken a lot of time.

06:38:05.000 And guess what?

06:38:06.000 He did some of it pro bono.

06:38:08.000 Bill Richmond has worked with CRTV and us and he gave us his services for free sometimes.

06:38:13.000 He comes in when he records these commercials, he's not charging.

06:38:15.000 You know why?

06:38:16.000 Because he's a conservative and he understands that we're fighting back.

06:38:18.000 I don't think you've closed the fridge all the way.

06:38:20.000 Close the fridge all the way, you behemoth! 0.98

06:38:24.000 Kind of sexy, you're making me uncomfortable.

06:38:25.000 So all of this, everyone you see working, but also a bunch of people, I forgot him when we were talking about employees.

06:38:29.000 Bill Richmond's going to be, he's been on retainer here in our partnership with CRTV, and then he's going to be on retainer specifically under Mug Club in 2018.

06:38:39.000 Because listen, Shia LaBeouf, Mashable, Facebook.

06:38:44.000 YouTube, they keep losing.

06:38:44.000 They keep losing.

06:38:46.000 We have yet to lose.

06:38:46.000 Set them up, knock them down.

06:38:47.000 And we've said this, we don't expect to be the shark of online media, but we can make ourselves a puffer fish.

06:38:52.000 You have made us a puffer fish.

06:38:54.000 And the reputation has followed us.

06:38:57.000 When we went to the YouTube Summit, they just said, oh, yeah, pick someone else.

06:39:01.000 Pick someone else.

06:39:02.000 They did this whole... I remember I overheard people talking.

06:39:04.000 They said, well, what do you mean?

06:39:05.000 What do you mean with the lateral cuddle?

06:39:06.000 What do they do?

06:39:07.000 I said, oh, the adpocalypse kind of happened.

06:39:08.000 And they were like, oh, well, everyone was complaining.

06:39:10.000 They said, no, no, no, no, no.

06:39:11.000 They did this whole Tranny Bain uprising thing where they read verbatim things that weren't in safe mode. 0.73

06:39:18.000 And their stuff was a jihadi bond.

06:39:20.000 They went really public with it.

06:39:21.000 They have this lawyer just...

06:39:23.000 Like, it's just, like, unless you really have something on them, they're like, don't do it.

06:39:28.000 They know Bill Richmond by name at YouTube.

06:39:31.000 And that's entirely because of ModClub.

06:39:33.000 Yeah.

06:39:33.000 So thank you guys so much.

06:39:34.000 You guys do a great job.

06:39:36.000 Is this when we have, uh, segment three?

06:39:36.000 Uh, do we have to go?

06:39:39.000 In about ten minutes.

06:39:39.000 Uh, coming up soon.

06:39:40.000 Hey, I got a question.

06:39:41.000 Um, there's games, too, right?

06:39:43.000 But we're not doing, uh, well, no, it says here on the schedule that we have YouTube Carol 3.

06:39:43.000 There are some games.

06:39:47.000 Ooh.

06:39:47.000 Do we have a 3?

06:39:48.000 We can launch it.

06:39:49.000 It says that at 1.30.

06:39:50.000 Yeah.

06:39:51.000 And the only reason is because I have to go to the bathroom because I ate lunch and that was the first time actually I drank some caffeine.

06:39:56.000 Yeah.

06:39:57.000 And so now I really have to, um, as Obama said, it got us all wee-weed up.

06:40:02.000 By the way, my impressions will be, there will be nine by this evening because someone said, please do the Bernie voice.

06:40:07.000 Before we go, Sven, computer, add something.

06:40:07.000 Hold on a second.

06:40:09.000 BB, do we want to, uh, ring the bell a little bit more?

06:40:11.000 Yes, let's ring the bell, by the way, for Mug Club members. 0.97

06:40:13.000 Thank you so much, by the way.

06:40:14.000 The people who've joined Mug Club, it's the only way we're able to do this and fight back. 0.98

06:40:17.000 And I don't expect you to watch all of this.

06:40:19.000 You have to.

06:40:19.000 I get that it's not fun.

06:40:20.000 Believe me, I know.

06:40:21.000 Believe me, I know.

06:40:21.000 You have to.

06:40:22.000 I know.

06:40:25.000 Let's go.

06:40:25.000 Boom.

06:40:26.000 Thank you, Dadward84.

06:40:28.000 Thank you very much.

06:40:28.000 Who?

06:40:29.000 Dad, at Dadward84.

06:40:30.000 Beep beep.

06:40:31.000 Okay, Dadward84.

06:40:32.000 Thank you very much!

06:40:33.000 Yes!

06:40:34.000 At BennyJ2345.

06:40:35.000 Thank you, Mr. J!

06:40:37.000 There we go.

06:40:38.000 Albert Prada.

06:40:39.000 Thank you very much.

06:40:40.000 There we go.

06:40:41.000 Thank you very much!

06:40:42.000 Joshua McTiernan.

06:40:44.000 Thank you very much.

06:40:44.000 Thank you very much, Joshua!

06:40:45.000 That was very Jewish of you.

06:40:46.000 Gino, at TheGino.

06:40:48.000 Thank you very much.

06:40:48.000 Gino, thank you very much!

06:40:50.000 And Alex Brown.

06:40:52.000 Alex Brown, thank you very much.

06:40:54.000 Thank you so much to more Mug Club members.

06:40:59.000 Every time you join Mug Club, Candy Crowley gains 10 pounds. 1.00

06:41:05.000 So, uh, I believe that we are going to have, uh, right now.

06:41:10.000 Right now, right?

06:41:11.000 Okay, so there are five segments.

06:41:11.000 Segment three.

06:41:13.000 Five segments.

06:41:14.000 We've said it's a five segment miniseries of, uh, a YouTube Carol.

06:41:18.000 The tale for those who have missed segment one and segment two.

06:41:19.000 I think we're going to rerun all the segments at the end of the night.

06:41:21.000 I was going to ask you that.

06:41:22.000 Put them all together.

06:41:23.000 For people who missed them.

06:41:23.000 I had a question about that.

06:41:24.000 So we're going to do one through, uh, and then before the five, before the final segment, the fifth segment, we're going to run segments one through four again.

06:41:31.000 Gotcha.

06:41:31.000 So you can get the whole story.

06:41:32.000 Tale of Ebeneezer YouTube.

06:41:34.000 The man, the creator of YouTube, in life was partners with CEO Susan Wojcicki.

06:41:38.000 He's being visited right where we last left Ebeneezer YouTube.

06:41:41.000 He was visited by the spirit of Susan Wojcicki.

06:41:44.000 And then he was warned that he would be visited by three spirits.

06:41:48.000 Ghost of Christmas Past was Trini Blair White.

06:41:51.000 Lovely Trini.

06:41:52.000 Great ghost.

06:41:53.000 And then I believe now we are at the point where He awaits more apparatus.

06:41:57.000 Ebeneezer YouTube, because I know who is in this.

06:42:00.000 And he is amazing.

06:42:03.000 This is Ebeneezer YouTube seeing... I'm just thinking of him, I'm sorry.

06:42:09.000 The ghost of YouTube present.

06:42:12.000 Let's see what kind of redemption there is for Ebeneezer YouTube.

06:42:15.000 A YouTube Carol, segment three.

06:42:22.000 Restless and still pondering the lessons of the first spirit.

06:42:25.000 It wasn't long before Ebenezer YouTube found himself awakened by yet another apparition.

06:42:32.000 *Squeak* Hello.

06:42:52.000 Hey.

06:42:53.000 Are you the ghost of Christmas present?

06:42:58.000 Should I come in?

06:42:58.000 Yep.

06:43:06.000 I know you better, man.

06:43:09.000 Well, if you want.

06:43:11.000 I must say I've never quite met anyone like you, Spirit.

06:43:25.000 Really?

06:43:26.000 More than 1,800 of my brothers have come before me.

06:43:28.000 1,800?

06:43:29.000 Why?

06:43:31.000 What a precedent.

06:43:34.000 Precedence.

06:43:38.000 I don't... Precedent is a legal opinion upon which other legal opinions are based.

06:43:42.000 Precedence is about priority and order of things.

06:43:44.000 Yes, of course.

06:43:45.000 Teach me tonight's lesson, spirit.

06:43:47.000 I am prepared to learn from the present.

06:43:50.000 All right, fine.

06:43:52.000 Touch my robe.

06:43:55.000 I'm not entirely comfortable. 1.00

06:43:58.000 Don't be a dick. 1.00

06:43:58.000 It's not like that. 1.00

06:43:59.000 You gotta touch my robe in order to get this transport thing.

06:44:01.000 Look, just... Come on.

06:44:03.000 Right now.

06:44:06.000 I'm just kidding!

06:44:06.000 Oh, Ebeneezer!

06:44:07.000 Let's go.

06:44:07.000 I'm just kidding!

06:44:08.000 Oh.

06:44:14.000 Oh, yes, spirit.

06:44:15.000 It's my nephew, Fred.

06:44:17.000 It's Fred Computer and his roommate, Gerald.

06:44:20.000 Do you want to play a game?

06:44:21.000 Me?

06:44:22.000 Obviously.

06:44:23.000 Let's play a game of yes or no.

06:44:23.000 Oh, okay.

06:44:25.000 I'll be it.

06:44:25.000 Okay.

06:44:26.000 What's trending on YouTube right now?

06:44:29.000 Guess.

06:44:30.000 Is it... Ben Shapiro?

06:44:32.000 No.

06:44:33.000 Is it... Ruben?

06:44:34.000 Certainly not. 0.99

06:44:35.000 Is it... Louder With Crowd- Don't be silly. 0.97

06:44:40.000 Is it an unwanted video? 0.99

06:44:40.000 Wait! 0.99

06:44:41.000 Always.

06:44:42.000 Is it wildly unpopular?

06:44:44.000 Of course!

06:44:44.000 So it's not Shapiro.

06:44:46.000 It's not Ruben.

06:44:47.000 It's an unwanted video, but it's trending anyway.

06:44:50.000 It's BuzzFeed Boldly painting in period blood!

06:44:50.000 Why?

06:44:53.000 Only 18,000 plays in six days.

06:44:53.000 Yes!

06:45:00.000 And it's still number one trend?

06:45:03.000 What about your video?

06:45:04.000 Two million plays!

06:45:05.000 In one day? 1.00

06:45:07.000 I'll groom my ass. 1.00

06:45:12.000 I'm getting deported. 1.00

06:45:15.000 Oh spirit, I never meant to hurt my own nephew.

06:45:19.000 You must understand that BuzzFeed women painting in period blood had to take precedence. 1.00

06:45:23.000 Precedence?

06:45:25.000 Look, it doesn't even matter.

06:45:26.000 We've got more to see.

06:45:27.000 Let's go.

06:45:28.000 Oh, Spirit.

06:45:30.000 I can't bear anymore.

06:45:32.000 Please, Spirit.

06:45:32.000 Show me no more.

06:45:35.000 I can't even.

06:45:36.000 Come on, let's go. - Spirit.

06:45:46.000 That sound got Cratchit's house.

06:45:48.000 Yes.

06:45:52.000 Father!

06:45:53.000 Father, come and see!

06:45:54.000 My latest video has 200,000 plays in just three hours!

06:45:59.000 Such a mega-feast.

06:46:00.000 Well, very appreciated.

06:46:17.000 What is it?

06:46:19.000 It's already been demonetized.

06:46:23.000 Already?

06:46:24.000 They seem to be getting demonetized faster this time of year.

06:46:30.000 Oh, don't worry about it right now.

06:46:33.000 Come on, you need some rest.

06:46:34.000 Come on.

06:46:37.000 Such a remarkable child.

06:46:39.000 Indeed.

06:46:40.000 Tell me, spirit.

06:46:41.000 What does he have?

06:46:42.000 It's indigestion.

06:46:43.000 Oh, don't worry.

06:46:44.000 I'll find another way to pay for your anti-retroviral treatment.

06:46:48.000 I'm done with my last 200 CD pornos!

06:46:50.000 Tell me Tony, not Kate Jared Woodleaf.

06:46:52.000 That is a question for the future.

06:46:54.000 It's not my gig. 1.00

06:46:55.000 But I will tell you that if these shadows remain unaltered, ergo, you don't stop being a dick, the child will die. 0.99

06:47:05.000 Oh, spirit. 0.99

06:47:07.000 Tell me he can be saved.

06:47:09.000 Oh, Spirit.

06:47:10.000 Why should you leave me so soon?

06:47:13.000 My time on this Earth... is very brief.

06:47:18.000 Sorry, Chuck.

06:47:19.000 Oh, Spirit.

06:47:20.000 I feel as though I've learned so much from you.

06:47:23.000 Yet, I could stand to learn more.

06:47:25.000 The rest is for the Ghost of Christmas yet to come.

06:47:29.000 Oh, tell me, Spirit.

06:47:31.000 Does Tiny not get Jared to have to die? 0.95

06:47:33.000 Well, if he'd rather die, then he'd better do it. 0.65

06:47:35.000 And decrease the surplus population. 0.83

06:47:40.000 Do you remember you said that?

06:47:41.000 I remember.

06:47:42.000 It was a callback to the thing that you said.

06:47:44.000 Are you sure you remember?

06:47:44.000 I remember.

06:47:45.000 I'll go ahead.

06:47:46.000 Do you want to sit under my rope?

06:47:49.000 Alone with his thoughts, Ebeneezer YouTube found himself cloaked with dread.

06:47:55.000 For he knew what awaited him next.

06:48:02.000 Now, all right, boys, it's time to try and learn to fly.

06:48:04.000 Who's willing to step up?

06:48:06.000 I'll give it a try, Mr. Coach.

06:48:07.000 Okay, boy, that's good.

06:48:08.000 Now try and get your flight underneath you.

06:48:10.000 Oh, wow!

06:48:12.000 Look at him go!

06:48:12.000 Great first start!

06:48:14.000 I'm flying!

06:48:16.000 Yippee! 1.00

06:48:18.000 Now great job, son.

06:48:19.000 What's your name? 0.96

06:48:23.000 Oh wow, that's hideous. 0.94

06:48:25.000 Let's not let this young man join in any reindeer games. 1.00

06:48:28.000 Oh, my stupid nose ruins everything. 1.00

06:48:32.000 I don't mind your nose, Rudolph. 1.00

06:48:34.000 I think it's cute.

06:48:35.000 I'm cute?

06:48:36.000 She thinks it's cute?

06:48:37.000 She thinks I'm cute! 0.93

06:48:40.000 I'm cute!

06:48:43.000 Real quick, do you consent to what's about to be forthcoming?

06:48:49.000 Gosh, that... bomb there.

06:48:57.000 Are we good to go?

06:48:57.000 Are we back up?

06:48:58.000 Awesome, sweet.

06:48:59.000 Man, I love it.

06:49:00.000 I love it.

06:49:01.000 That character looked very familiar.

06:49:02.000 He was on top of my tongue.

06:49:07.000 Yeah, it's not real clear.

06:49:09.000 I gotta tell you, so far I'm loving this.

06:49:10.000 I can't wait to see 4 and 5.

06:49:12.000 I'm kind of taking this journey with everybody else out there.

06:49:14.000 I get to see all this and we get to see little Fred computer in there.

06:49:17.000 It's very nice.

06:49:18.000 Good job, Fred computer.

06:49:18.000 Very nice.

06:49:19.000 He's not here.

06:49:20.000 I'm not saying that to anybody in the room.

06:49:22.000 Take the camera off of the man.

06:49:25.000 All right, so now we're back up with CNN, and they're talking about a North Korean soldier defecting at the border with the South.

06:49:31.000 Second defection in less than two months, and the fourth one this year.

06:49:36.000 That's news?

06:49:38.000 Somebody's going to run from the frozen hell of North Korea. 0.97

06:49:42.000 By the way, how many U.N.

06:49:44.000 resolutions... Smith Computer, look this up.

06:49:45.000 How many U.N.

06:49:46.000 resolutions this year have condemned North Korea versus how many have condemned...

06:49:53.000 Anybody want to take any bets on who has more UN resolutions condemning them?

06:49:53.000 Israel.

06:49:57.000 Let's just compare these two.

06:49:59.000 One place has freedom and opportunity and a fantastic economy.

06:50:03.000 The other place is literally a frozen hell whose leader is so insecure that everybody has to do what he says and say he's the best looking, has the best haircut, has the best girl, can shoot 18 holes of golf and 18 strokes.

06:50:16.000 And there was some other weird...

06:50:17.000 That's why he's not filming the Asian Muppets spinoff.

06:50:20.000 Yes, exactly, right?

06:50:21.000 So how many have condemned that one versus this other one where...

06:50:26.000 I wish this carol.

06:50:27.000 Yes, it's kind of weird.

06:50:30.000 I'm betting, yeah, Steven's milling around, he's doing some stuff.

06:50:33.000 I've been cleaning up stuff because it got dirty and I'm obsessive.

06:50:36.000 He is obsessive.

06:50:37.000 About cleanliness.

06:50:38.000 But not the compulsive part, just the obsessive.

06:50:40.000 Hey, but if I bend over and I fix this stuff... Oh, oh, is that the money shot right there?

06:50:45.000 Oh, hi!

06:50:46.000 Oh, you're off screen, thank God.

06:50:47.000 Rack the bell.

06:50:48.000 Get it.

06:50:48.000 Just.

06:50:49.000 I've got to pour some in that.

06:50:51.000 This vessel is great.

06:50:52.000 It holds so much liquid. 0.99

06:50:54.000 You know, you could put a beer, like, on your arse, and it would stay. 1.00

06:50:57.000 Oh, absolutely. 1.00

06:50:58.000 I have done it.

06:50:58.000 It's like a shelf.

06:50:59.000 So, for a lot of people, do we have a long enough shot where you can see me on the floor here?

06:51:03.000 Yeah, okay, so for people who don't know do we have any M&Ms or anything?

06:51:06.000 Yeah, North Korean soldier defects at border with South. 1.00

06:51:09.000 No shit! 0.99

06:51:10.000 So, does anyone have anything like M&M's or something like that? 0.99

06:51:10.000 We were talking about that. 0.99

06:51:13.000 I got drugs.

06:51:14.000 Can you see?

06:51:15.000 You got drugs?

06:51:15.000 Yeah, what are you gonna do?

06:51:16.000 Give me something, just so I'll show you, because I have a giant butt and I have an inverted sternum. 0.97

06:51:22.000 It can't be like chips. 0.93

06:51:23.000 I don't want crumbles on me.

06:51:24.000 It has to be something solid.

06:51:25.000 Something solid and rolly?

06:51:27.000 Some coffee beans.

06:51:28.000 Okay, give me a handful of coffee beans.

06:51:30.000 A handful of coffee beans. 0.97

06:51:32.000 Coffee sucks anyway, so you waste whatever you want. 0.87

06:51:35.000 Don't get it on the floor, because coffee beans will kill Hopper. 0.99

06:51:38.000 Okay, so picture these.

06:51:40.000 Can they see clearly?

06:51:41.000 Do we need to turn up any light?

06:51:43.000 They can see it once you get it on your chest, I believe.

06:51:44.000 Do we need anyone to turn up any light?

06:51:46.000 This is true, okay?

06:51:47.000 So, by the way, I'm protecting my pecker with my Walther appendix carry.

06:51:51.000 Thank you so much, Walther, for sponsoring the show.

06:51:53.000 You guys have balls of steel.

06:51:55.000 So, when I was a kid, I have rested a beer.

06:51:55.000 That's right.

06:51:58.000 I've tried it.

06:51:58.000 You have?

06:51:59.000 I have rested a beer on my ass while I'm vertical. 1.00

06:52:02.000 Okay, there you go. 0.99

06:52:02.000 Now you can see me. 0.99

06:52:03.000 So, when I was a kid, I'm missing a portion of a sternum.

06:52:06.000 Alright, here you go.

06:52:07.000 So, let's do it this way. 0.99

06:52:08.000 We're selling some sex. 0.99

06:52:09.000 Join Mug Club here. 0.99

06:52:11.000 Oh my gosh, it looks so S&M right now, with this.

06:52:14.000 So I would sit and watch TV, right?

06:52:16.000 So I'd have a pillow here, and because of my inverted sternum, right here, look, I would put my M&Ms Right in there.

06:52:25.000 And just eat from them.

06:52:25.000 That is awesome.

06:52:26.000 Now, I know you think I can do that.

06:52:28.000 Right now, try and do it.

06:52:29.000 I guarantee you, you can't.

06:52:31.000 All you normies, all you cis normies, look at this.

06:52:33.000 Normies.

06:52:34.000 You can put more.

06:52:35.000 Look, actually, okay, let's do this.

06:52:36.000 Let's grab the coffee beans, Jared.

06:52:38.000 Let's see how many coffee beans we can fit.

06:52:40.000 Ooh, well, you can fit them before they start rolling off.

06:52:43.000 What are we talking about?

06:52:44.000 Okay, so hold on.

06:52:46.000 One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

06:52:50.000 Let's take bets!

06:52:51.000 Let's take bets on Twitter.

06:52:53.000 I'm going to guess... I'm going to guess 40.

06:52:55.000 Hold on, hold on, hold on.

06:52:56.000 Before you do, Edward, before you do. 1.00

06:52:58.000 Bets on... Because CNN sucks shit and there's nothing on there right now. 1.00

06:53:02.000 This is what we resort to. 1.00

06:53:04.000 This is the absurdity of the 24-hour cable news cycle.

06:53:07.000 Join my club.

06:53:08.000 I've humiliated myself enough.

06:53:10.000 Don't put them in, Sound Guy Edward, until I tell you to.

06:53:12.000 I don't want to get one extra minute of humiliation that is necessary.

06:53:18.000 I have my pride!

06:53:19.000 So, okay.

06:53:19.000 No you don't.

06:53:21.000 Let's see, let's take bets on Twitter.

06:53:24.000 Courtney, Reg, whoever's doing it, take bets.

06:53:26.000 How many to just count? 18?

06:53:28.000 Take them out and count again.

06:53:28.000 13, 18, 13.

06:53:30.000 How many coffee beans can we fit in Crowder's Turnham?

06:53:31.000 Hashtag CrowderCNNLivestream.

06:53:33.000 Alright, 1, 2, everyone count!

06:53:34.000 You're right.

06:53:34.000 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13.

06:53:35.000 I was right!

06:53:35.000 So that's 13 right now.

06:53:36.000 Oh my gosh, they look like rat droppings. 0.84

06:53:38.000 Everyone count.

06:53:39.000 Three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen.

06:53:48.000 I was right.

06:53:48.000 Okay, so that's thirteen right now.

06:53:48.000 You were right.

06:53:50.000 Hold on.

06:53:50.000 Yes.

06:53:51.000 Oh, my gosh.

06:53:52.000 They look like rad droppings.

06:53:53.000 I can just see the Photoshop.

06:53:54.000 All right.

06:53:55.000 So does anyone have a pillow?

06:53:56.000 Give me some.

06:53:56.000 My head doesn't hurt so much.

06:53:57.000 Yeah, we'll find that.

06:53:58.000 Alright, someone give me a pillow. 0.55

06:54:01.000 This better not be a bomb.

06:54:01.000 What's in here?

06:54:03.000 Okay, there's 13. 0.99

06:54:05.000 Alright, let me cover my nipples. 1.00

06:54:06.000 This is a family show. 0.99

06:54:07.000 Okay. 0.95

06:54:08.000 The hell it is.

06:54:11.000 Not a word!

06:54:13.000 Let's take bets!

06:54:13.000 Thirteen!

06:54:14.000 Alright?

06:54:15.000 I'm saying fifty.

06:54:16.000 Twenty-six.

06:54:16.000 Fifty.

06:54:17.000 Fifty.

06:54:17.000 Twenty-six?

06:54:18.000 How many can we fit before they start to trickle out?

06:54:20.000 Thirty-five.

06:54:20.000 No, no, no.

06:54:20.000 Fifty.

06:54:20.000 You don't need to throw them in or you're going to have to get up in there.

06:54:22.000 Okay.

06:54:22.000 Fifty.

06:54:23.000 Fourteen.

06:54:24.000 Do it faster.

06:54:25.000 Fifteen.

06:54:25.000 Come on.

06:54:26.000 Sixteen.

06:54:28.000 Eighteen.

06:54:28.000 Seventeen.

06:54:29.000 Nineteen.

06:54:29.000 Twenty.

06:54:30.000 Come on.

06:54:31.000 Twenty-one.

06:54:32.000 Twenty-three.

06:54:32.000 Twenty-two.

06:54:33.000 Twenty-five.

06:54:33.000 You're going to be way off.

06:54:33.000 Twenty-four.

06:54:34.000 Oh, man.

06:54:35.000 Twenty-six.

06:54:35.000 Twenty-seven.

06:54:36.000 I'm closer.

06:54:37.000 Twenty-nine.

06:54:37.000 Twenty-eight.

06:54:39.000 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, hold on a second, 37.

06:54:43.000 Let me just make sure it's even, right?

06:54:45.000 When I was a kid, they'd be like, do you want a bowl for your M&M's?

06:54:49.000 I'd be like, hell no, I don't want a bowl.

06:54:50.000 I came built in with one.

06:54:51.000 I don't want a bowl.

06:54:53.000 I'm going to use my body.

06:54:54.000 I'm a minimalist.

06:54:55.000 Alright, 5 more.

06:54:56.000 2, 3, 4.

06:54:57.000 You lost count, didn't you?

06:54:59.000 Yeah, it was 36.

06:55:00.000 I didn't make any recounts.

06:55:01.000 I'm still holding 36.

06:55:01.000 No, 36. 36.

06:55:04.000 37, 38, 39... 39 coffee beans in my sternum that's missing!

06:55:08.000 42, 43, 44, 45... 45!

06:55:09.000 Hold on... 46, 47... Hold on a second, hold on a second.

06:55:09.000 45!

06:55:14.000 I gotta flatten it, because it's not fair if it's not... We do have to make the most of the inverted sternum space.

06:55:20.000 Picture little Steven.

06:55:20.000 Okay?

06:55:21.000 Picture little Steven.

06:55:22.000 Little brain from Arthur.

06:55:23.000 I would just sit here and eat M&M's all day.

06:55:24.000 48, 49... Come on, 50!

06:55:25.000 - 48, 49. - Come on, 50! - 50. - 51, 52. - 53. - 53, 54. - 54, 55. - Gosh, this is gonna go on forever. - 56, 57, 58, 59.

06:55:25.000 50!

06:55:36.000 57, 58, 59.

06:55:37.000 Oh, oh, oh.

06:55:38.000 No, no, careful, careful.

06:55:39.000 Don't do that!

06:55:39.000 You're going to break the rules!

06:55:41.000 People are wildly entertained.

06:55:45.000 Are you not entertained?

06:55:46.000 Alright, just go fast.

06:55:47.000 I'll just generally count them.

06:55:49.000 7 more.

06:55:49.000 7.

06:55:50.000 Do math.

06:55:51.000 60.

06:55:51.000 You said 28, Jared.

06:55:51.000 We're over 60.

06:55:52.000 You suck at estimating. 0.99

06:55:53.000 - We're over 60. - 60. - You said 28, Jared, you suck at estimating. - I suck at really bad. - There's five more. - There's 65. 0.99

06:55:53.000 There's 5 more. 0.99

06:56:02.000 I like the recapping.

06:56:03.000 We're not going to have any more coffee beans for the machine when we're done.

06:56:06.000 There's five more.

06:56:07.000 What are we, 70?

06:56:07.000 75?

06:56:08.000 Yeah.

06:56:08.000 Keep going.

06:56:09.000 There's 10.

06:56:11.000 We're 85?

06:56:11.000 There's 25 in your hand.

06:56:12.000 Put your whole hand down there.

06:56:14.000 25 in your hand.

06:56:15.000 Let's see how much we've got.

06:56:15.000 Whole hand.

06:56:16.000 All of it in there.

06:56:17.000 Edward, put it in there.

06:56:18.000 Look at this!

06:56:19.000 I didn't think... Oh!

06:56:19.000 Put it in there.

06:56:22.000 I don't know.

06:56:22.000 Okay, that's enough.

06:56:23.000 That's enough.

06:56:24.000 We need coffee beans for the... I guess you can eat espresso beans, because they do chocolate covered espresso beans.

06:56:29.000 You don't want to drop any.

06:56:29.000 Alright, get them out.

06:56:30.000 Don't drop any.

06:56:31.000 Yeah, don't drop.

06:56:31.000 Because we still have enough for the coffee machine, right?

06:56:33.000 Yeah, of course.

06:56:34.000 How many are there?

06:56:34.000 Okay, okay.

06:56:35.000 There's uh... Fifteen.

06:56:38.000 That's an estimate.

06:56:38.000 Eighteen.

06:56:39.000 Who cares?

06:56:41.000 Over a hundred coffee beans!

06:56:43.000 Over a hundred coffee beans in my sternum!

06:56:43.000 Come on!

06:56:46.000 Just trying to be reasonable!

06:56:47.000 What's that?

06:56:48.000 That's like, we're getting a hundred, what are we, 150?

06:56:50.000 150, yeah.

06:56:51.000 Look at this!

06:56:54.000 I had no idea how deep it was.

06:56:56.000 I had no idea, I had no idea how young I was going to die.

06:57:00.000 Because this is a problem that can grow into your... No, no, oh, there we go, that's the limit, that's the limit.

06:57:04.000 Oh, it fell.

06:57:04.000 Okay, that's the limit.

06:57:05.000 That's like 250.

06:57:06.000 Let's call it 250.

06:57:07.000 Edward, you have to, someone has to pick this up.

06:57:09.000 You have to scoop and clean.

06:57:11.000 So there you go.

06:57:11.000 Someone has to pick this up.

06:57:13.000 250!

06:57:13.000 Playing prone.

06:57:13.000 So when people complain about having a weird body shape, I have titties.

06:57:20.000 And the reason I have man breasts in a weird way is because my sternum is inverted. 0.96

06:57:24.000 Hold on, don't move, don't move, don't move. 0.75

06:57:25.000 Don't move.

06:57:25.000 Half of it.

06:57:26.000 Get these.

06:57:27.000 Yeah, they went under my back.

06:57:29.000 Trump speaks to media, breaking news.

06:57:29.000 What's going on CNN?

06:57:32.000 Ahead of Walter Reed visits.

06:57:33.000 Ahead of Walter Reed visits.

06:57:34.000 I thought it was going to be with the... Hold on a second.

06:57:36.000 We got something behind here.

06:57:37.000 I don't want coffee beans down in my lower back.

06:57:40.000 Yeah.

06:57:40.000 Alright, hold on a second.

06:57:41.000 Hold on a second.

06:57:42.000 Oh, this is... Damn. 1.00

06:57:43.000 Oh, let's go. 1.00

06:57:44.000 Let's cut to Jared.

06:57:45.000 Let's cut to... Let's cut to a... Let's cut to something.

06:57:47.000 Close shot of somebody.

06:57:49.000 I'm reaching my back here.

06:57:50.000 Let me get the video.

06:57:50.000 Hold on.

06:57:51.000 Oh, my God!

06:57:53.000 I have to go to the audio.

06:57:55.000 I don't know where it's at.

06:57:56.000 A bunch fell in here somewhere. 1.00

06:57:57.000 Your ass is down there. 1.00

06:57:58.000 Yeah, I know. 1.00

06:57:59.000 I feel it.

06:58:00.000 I know.

06:58:00.000 I feel it.

06:58:02.000 I'm just kidding.

06:58:02.000 Nothing.

06:58:02.000 I got nothing.

06:58:03.000 I got nothing in my hair. 0.99

06:58:04.000 Last little jerk. 0.99

06:58:06.000 Alright. 1.00

06:58:08.000 So there we go.

06:58:09.000 Who bet?

06:58:10.000 Sven, bring up the overlay.

06:58:11.000 Who bet 200 coffee beans?

06:58:12.000 Let's make sure there are none here first.

06:58:13.000 That was one person who said 200, but that was like 41 seconds ago, so I think that's cheated.

06:58:18.000 There was no one that close.

06:58:20.000 There was no one that close?

06:58:21.000 Everyone guessed way less?

06:58:21.000 No.

06:58:22.000 Yeah.

06:58:23.000 I can't hear you.

06:58:24.000 60, 70, 80.

06:58:24.000 Beep beep.

06:58:27.000 Alright.

06:58:31.000 That's what you tipped in for.

06:58:34.000 Are you not entertained?

06:58:35.000 Are you not entertained?

06:58:37.000 Random draw will decide the winner of the Virginia Statehouse race.

06:58:41.000 Okay, well there's something that's actually kind of newsy.

06:58:42.000 Because might as well.

06:58:44.000 Hold on a second.

06:58:48.000 Alright, keep it going while I check the Twitter here.

06:58:50.000 Well, you know what, Sven, get us the closest person and then we'll get them a free shirt.

06:58:54.000 Free shirt to whoever guessed this with the missing circle.

06:58:56.000 I never realized that, like, you've heard me say it before, but that's a lot of coffee beans.

06:59:00.000 It is.

06:59:00.000 That was, like, the whole jar.

06:59:02.000 Can you grind them?

06:59:03.000 How many shots do you think that probably is?

06:59:04.000 Espresso shots?

06:59:05.000 That's probably at least, like, three, four?

06:59:09.000 Espresso shots?

06:59:11.000 Way more than that.

06:59:12.000 I don't even know.

06:59:12.000 Really?

06:59:13.000 Way more than that.

06:59:13.000 All you weirdos that drink coffee and espresso.

06:59:15.000 So, who's getting a t-shirt?

06:59:16.000 I'm sorry, what?

06:59:17.000 Who guessed the closest?

06:59:18.000 Well, there was one person who said 200, but that person was, like, 42.

06:59:22.000 Go back to the beginning of it.

06:59:22.000 No, no, no.

06:59:23.000 So, before we started it, who was the closest in their guess?

06:59:26.000 And so, this is the problem.

06:59:26.000 Right.

06:59:29.000 With 24-hour news is that you get the same story 74 times.

06:59:33.000 Again, it's an interesting story.

06:59:35.000 They brought this up multiple times.

06:59:37.000 I've seen it twice since I've been here, once earlier, every single time.

06:59:41.000 And so I think what it did is it came down to a vote and they showed like the sheet where somebody drew a line through one candidate and then circled the other one, like trying to change the scantron for your test and it doesn't work.

06:59:51.000 Same thing.

06:59:52.000 So they're just going to draw film canisters. 0.99

06:59:53.000 They just pick four topics for the day and just kill them all.

06:59:59.000 And they're like, hey, so what should we do next?

07:00:01.000 Um, I don't know, Russia? 0.99

07:00:02.000 Maybe Trump and Russia and Trump and prostitutes? 0.97

07:00:04.000 It's just like every radio station you hate that plays the same tunes all along. 0.96

07:00:07.000 You're like... If the Democrats win, the parties are going to split control of the lower chamber.

07:00:14.000 This is more entertaining than an election, sorry!

07:00:17.000 At least this can't be bought, right?

07:00:19.000 You can't just throw too much money at it.

07:00:20.000 You're flipping a coin, basically.

07:00:22.000 I'd like to see, like, physical contests, or maybe math.

07:00:25.000 I don't know.

07:00:26.000 Can we get some smart and active people in Congress?

07:00:28.000 Alright, I know this is a state house race.

07:00:31.000 Oh, okay, sorry.

07:00:32.000 Go ahead, continue.

07:00:33.000 At least when Pence has to break a tie, it seems like there's some rationale behind it.

07:00:37.000 He comes down and fulfills... Oh, hold on!

07:00:39.000 Now time for some real news!

07:00:41.000 Real news!

07:00:42.000 Look at this guy!

07:00:45.000 You gotta get him over to you, man.

07:00:46.000 This is good.

07:00:47.000 Go over there, bud.

07:00:48.000 Ow! 1.00

07:00:48.000 Go, go, go. 1.00

07:00:51.000 When he steps on your foot... Oh geez!

07:00:52.000 I got it.

07:00:54.000 The Republican love fest, shall we call it, over taxes.

07:00:57.000 Oh, hold on.

07:00:58.000 He's focused on more media issues.

07:01:00.000 Deadline level.

07:01:01.000 Spending for almost every government function online.

07:01:04.000 The dog is that compensated.

07:01:06.000 We hooked him.

07:01:07.000 Deadline.

07:01:08.000 We'll take you back to Washington.

07:01:10.000 We hooked him!

07:01:13.000 He's got it going on, man.

07:01:14.000 It's like that Kansas City Chiefs commercial where it's the Raiders guy and he's got the little vest that lights up.

07:01:20.000 Hey, listen.

07:01:22.000 If you don't join Mug Club, Hopper can't play for Hopper's veterinary bills.

07:01:26.000 If you don't join Mug Club, Hopper will die.

07:01:31.000 Little Hoppers will die everywhere if you don't join Mug Club. 1.00

07:01:34.000 I don't want you looking at my face, but I can kiss your nose. 0.98

07:01:37.000 Good boy, Hopper.

07:01:37.000 There you go.

07:01:38.000 Do you want to take that off?

07:01:39.000 Hopper, do you want to take that off?

07:01:41.000 That's a steal.

07:01:42.000 Hey, I saw a vet that signed up when I was looking through my Twitter feed.

07:01:44.000 Oh, nice.

07:01:45.000 Fantastic.

07:01:46.000 People signing up.

07:01:47.000 So, continue with what you were saying.

07:01:48.000 More than one vet.

07:01:49.000 Oh, that's what I was talking about.

07:01:50.000 You know the irony in the Facebook fake news?

07:01:53.000 They let the story trend for days.

07:01:55.000 Yeah.

07:01:56.000 They let the story trend for days on...

07:01:56.000 Sorry.

07:01:59.000 I'm trying to remember the story here.

07:02:02.000 It was the Facebook... Oh yeah, it was the WikiLeaks.

07:02:05.000 The WikiLeaks that Donald Trump Jr.

07:02:06.000 had direct contact with WikiLeaks.

07:02:07.000 Remember?

07:02:08.000 It just turned out some random guy.

07:02:10.000 They ran that for days as though... Now here's the thing.

07:02:12.000 Was there contact with some... Sure.

07:02:14.000 But they ran it... The story... They ran the story that Donald Trump Jr.

07:02:17.000 was in contact with WikiLeaks.

07:02:19.000 And Facebook ran that for days.

07:02:19.000 Yeah.

07:02:20.000 That's the big irony.

07:02:21.000 Everybody runs it.

07:02:22.000 They just pick it up and run with it.

07:02:23.000 And then they don't do any research.

07:02:24.000 And the problem is, is that it doesn't... We're not asking them to be, like, incredible investigative journalists.

07:02:29.000 We're not asking for that.

07:02:30.000 No.

07:02:31.000 Who are they?

07:02:31.000 We'd love for that.

07:02:32.000 CNN?

07:02:32.000 Yeah.

07:02:33.000 But we're asking them to do some basic research before they run with this stuff, and they don't do that.

07:02:38.000 These things are very easy.

07:02:38.000 No.

07:02:39.000 You and I can go online and debunk these things in ten minutes.

07:02:43.000 You've got an entire editorial staff that can't do that?

07:02:45.000 When it comes to this, so we have different people who do, you know, Aaron, the intern edits, and he's brilliant with editing.

07:02:45.000 Are you serious?

07:02:49.000 And Jared helps with a lot of that, too.

07:02:51.000 And Jared helps with some sketch ideas and everyone.

07:02:54.000 But when it comes to research, there's really, it's me, Reg, and then Sven.

07:03:01.000 That's it.

07:03:01.000 And Reg is scary.

07:03:02.000 Reg is scary, but that's it.

07:03:04.000 Don't get on his bad list.

07:03:05.000 And by the way, I'm usually not doing research.

07:03:07.000 Usually what happens is I watch Samantha Beer. 1.00

07:03:08.000 I watch them on CNN and I go, hold on a second.

07:03:11.000 What was that vote in Congress for?

07:03:13.000 Didn't it go through the House and Senate?

07:03:13.000 What was the vote?

07:03:15.000 The Senate and House?

07:03:16.000 And by how much did it pass in 95 to recognize Jerusalem?

07:03:19.000 It wasn't supposed to happen by 95?

07:03:20.000 I usually, I have so much that I remember.

07:03:22.000 They've got the leg cam.

07:03:22.000 Look at there.

07:03:23.000 Look at that, just seeing up the dress. 0.93

07:03:25.000 Great for you, CNN, keeping your journalistic integrity.

07:03:27.000 That's very Fox-ish.

07:03:28.000 Brooke Baldwin will tell everyone who will listen, I'm a journalist. 0.95

07:03:30.000 And when you're like, hey, nice gams, you're a sexist.

07:03:33.000 You literally just got an angle.

07:03:35.000 You got a wide angle lens up your dress, Brooke Baldwin.

07:03:39.000 Gotta have some standards.

07:03:41.000 For crying out loud, I'm surprised CNN doesn't broadcast from a sigmoidoscope. 1.00

07:03:45.000 So I guess with Wolf Blitzer, you might have to, his head's so far up his ass. 0.99

07:03:50.000 So what happened is, I don't even know what I was talking about. 0.99

07:03:54.000 You're talking about the stories, Reg and Research.

07:03:57.000 So it's Reg and Sven, and I just have so much that I remember, and I go, hey, I don't know exactly how this is BS.

07:04:03.000 And I think with Israel, I might have been like, it's like 300-something to 10. 0.53

07:04:08.000 You know how it is, you just know.

07:04:09.000 And then Reg and Sven find it.

07:04:11.000 And we very rarely get caught flat-footed with anything that's actually wrong.

07:04:16.000 We certainly haven't this year.

07:04:17.000 Yeah, have we?

07:04:21.000 I don't think so.

07:04:22.000 The one picture.

07:04:26.000 We use the picture of the wrong transgender. 1.00

07:04:28.000 Right.

07:04:29.000 Did we just turn off the light in here?

07:04:29.000 What?

07:04:31.000 Oh, okay.

07:04:33.000 Can you still see me or do I look too shadowy?

07:04:35.000 Can you guys?

07:04:35.000 Oh, geez.

07:04:36.000 Aaron the intern is here.

07:04:39.000 Hey, you want this chair?

07:04:40.000 No, no, no, no.

07:04:43.000 Aaron the intern is here, everybody.

07:04:45.000 Oh my gosh, look at you.

07:04:48.000 Here, I'll help you.

07:04:53.000 I wonder whose idea it was for him to wear this.

07:04:55.000 I hope he likes it.

07:04:56.000 You feel comfortable in that?

07:04:57.000 This is actually the most comfortable I've been all day.

07:05:00.000 Really?

07:05:00.000 You like that outfit?

07:05:00.000 Yeah.

07:05:02.000 Is there any stretch in it?

07:05:04.000 How many beers have you put in that?

07:05:04.000 No.

07:05:06.000 Because I know that Stine. 0.98

07:05:07.000 That's a big Stine.

07:05:08.000 This is two beers.

07:05:09.000 It's two beers?

07:05:09.000 Yeah.

07:05:10.000 Because I remember we used to take that to the Stine Night at Brewery Navant.

07:05:13.000 Yeah.

07:05:13.000 And it was Stine Night like on Mondays.

07:05:15.000 And they were like, oh it was free mug night where you brought your own mug and they'd fill it for five bucks and I would bring that and they'd be like, damn it! 0.99

07:05:19.000 Shoot! 1.00

07:05:20.000 It's like the fat guy walking into the buffet. 1.00

07:05:22.000 We're losing money tonight.

07:05:24.000 How are you doing?

07:05:25.000 Yeah, I've been watching it.

07:05:25.000 You were watching the stream?

07:05:26.000 It's good.

07:05:27.000 It's good stuff.

07:05:28.000 The last 30 minutes was epic.

07:05:32.000 Don't disturb me.

07:05:34.000 Now are you a CNN watcher?

07:05:35.000 No.

07:05:36.000 I don't watch any news really.

07:05:36.000 No.

07:05:40.000 You're really instilling confidence that you work on our show there, Aaron the intern.

07:05:43.000 You didn't let me finish.

07:05:44.000 I said I read the news.

07:05:45.000 What do you read?

07:05:45.000 Oh, you read the news.

07:05:46.000 I think, and Courtney was saying this, I think that we probably go through more news in six hours at Loud or with Crowder than CNN goes through in a day.

07:06:04.000 Yeah.

07:06:05.000 As far as like actual news stories.

07:06:08.000 He's aiming the guns away.

07:06:10.000 They're not loaded.

07:06:11.000 They're not loaded.

07:06:12.000 We're hoping for a ricochet, right?

07:06:14.000 One of them might be.

07:06:15.000 One of them might have in the magazine and nothing in the chamber.

07:06:17.000 Well, I can tell you it's not, it's not racked.

07:06:18.000 No, no, don't, don't, don't fool around.

07:06:20.000 Don't mess with it with the gloves.

07:06:21.000 Come on.

07:06:22.000 That's just a, come on.

07:06:23.000 Walther is sponsoring us.

07:06:23.000 They don't want us to say, hey, the guy in the bunny suit accidentally discharged one.

07:06:27.000 Look who's on CNN right now!

07:06:27.000 Oh, geez!

07:06:28.000 Who the hell is that? 0.98

07:06:29.000 Oh, boy. 0.90

07:06:31.000 pleads for government funding mother pleads for government to keep funding kids insurance rachel hoffman who's rachel hoffman can someone run some research on this why is she in the news please don't tell me they just plucked out a mother to say republicans want kids to die well they always do that jared bring up this right now so people can see there's this mother i mean i i've uh portly who by the way look at that's her on the left and that's her on the right that's her instagram picture Come on.

07:06:57.000 She is, look at, she, every trick in the book.

07:07:00.000 Welcome to online dating world, buddy.

07:07:01.000 You never know.

07:07:02.000 I know.

07:07:04.000 That's why I, you gotta meet in person.

07:07:05.000 Look at her face, look, I can just see her, can someone give me volume on it?

07:07:08.000 She's, I just see her doing this, like the attitude, and I can't even hear her right now.

07:07:12.000 This is what?

07:07:13.000 Who is this woman? 1.00

07:07:13.000 But you know what she's saying. 1.00

07:07:14.000 Does anyone know who this woman is? 0.91

07:07:15.000 Spending computers on it?

07:07:16.000 Look!

07:07:17.000 Rachel Hoffman.

07:07:17.000 Oh, let's see what she says.

07:07:18.000 Why, no!

07:07:18.000 Does anyone know who this woman is?

07:07:18.000 Who is this woman?

07:07:20.000 What would happen then?

07:07:23.000 What would your office say?

07:07:24.000 Hold on, let's see what she says. 0.59

07:07:26.000 It would be pretty scary.

07:07:28.000 I could try to put her on insurance through work.

07:07:30.000 I know, but who is Rachel Hoffman? 1.00

07:07:32.000 You know, there's no telling how much would be covered.

07:07:34.000 Insurance for nine million kids hangs in the balance.

07:07:36.000 It doesn't.

07:07:37.000 as you know six to seven times via ambulance she spent more than a combined total of 21 days in the hospital at one point i mean four days in the hospital can run eleven thousand dollars and that's a lot to cover even if you're just doing a cop you get screwed pretty pretty heavily it is obviously cuddling to parents like you the the notion of kicking the chip can down the road this But you know that's not what's going on.

07:07:37.000 No, it doesn't.

07:08:02.000 Here, by the way, this goes back to our hit list.

07:08:04.000 This is the Chip program.

07:08:06.000 Right, Chip?

07:08:06.000 Nine million tiny Tims I said earlier?

07:08:08.000 This is important because we're coming back to it.

07:08:09.000 So this is a good example.

07:08:11.000 They talked about something earlier.

07:08:12.000 They said nine million tiny Tims, right?

07:08:13.000 Yeah.

07:08:14.000 No editorialization there, just the most trusted name in news.

07:08:18.000 And now, and by the way, it's completely false, okay?

07:08:21.000 The Republicans have actually put forward a plan to fund CHIP for another five years.

07:08:25.000 Democrats just have to vote on it, they don't like the funding mechanism.

07:08:27.000 So earlier they editorialized with nine million tiny Tims to die, and now it says nine million kids hanging in the balance.

07:08:34.000 The only reason this woman is up here is because they want to put a face to it to make you feel bad as though Republicans want to take away health care. 1.00

07:08:41.000 They're taking the same story and recycling it In a way that solely appeals to emotions.

07:08:47.000 Okay, let's look at the intellectual argument.

07:08:49.000 Okay?

07:08:50.000 Okay, you play liberal.

07:08:51.000 Alright.

07:08:52.000 Oh, jeez.

07:08:52.000 Okay, you play liberal right now with what they're saying.

07:08:56.000 But hold on, let's see what Rick Santorum says.

07:08:58.000 Senator Rick Santorum is here.

07:09:00.000 Okay, please, Senator Rick Santorum.

07:09:02.000 Please lay into them.

07:09:03.000 Lay into Mrs. Early 90's haircut pantsuit there on the left. 1.00

07:09:08.000 Her name's Pam. 0.98

07:09:10.000 She looks like her name is Pam.

07:09:11.000 It's really, as Hazel's mom said, terrifying.

07:09:14.000 And it's important to recognize that this exists for people who are working and make too much money to qualify for Medicare or Medicaid, but don't, as the mom said, have the resources to fully cover these really serious medical conditions.

07:09:29.000 So this mom and her family, they're doing what America tells them to do.

07:09:33.000 Go out there and get a job and work.

07:09:36.000 Bitching on CNN is a job? 1.00

07:09:36.000 Really? 1.00

07:09:39.000 I mean, I know bitching at CNN, technically, right now is a job. 1.00

07:09:41.000 But that's because of you, lateralthecutter.com.

07:09:43.000 You made this opportunity possible.

07:09:45.000 Thank you.

07:09:45.000 16 hours.

07:09:46.000 Doesn't get any worse.

07:09:47.000 16 hours.

07:09:48.000 Doesn't get any worse.

07:09:49.000 If in three weeks from now, this safety net is gone.

07:09:53.000 Gone.

07:09:54.000 How can she do that appropriately? 0.97

07:09:55.000 Okay. - I brought a casserole to the church pot.

07:09:58.000 She's the kind of one who would bring, like, the tuna casserole to the potluck and be like, Damn it, Pam! 1.00

07:10:01.000 We said we had nine tuna casseroles! 0.99

07:10:04.000 We said anything but tuna casserole!

07:10:05.000 Hold on, Santorum.

07:10:06.000 This is teed up.

07:10:07.000 Hold on, I just want to keep interrupting her now because she's repeating the same point ad nauseam.

07:10:10.000 Look at Brooke- Okay, let's also look at Brooke Baldwin's face.

07:10:13.000 Right now, she's looking at her with sincerity.

07:10:16.000 She's looking at her with empathy, okay?

07:10:17.000 This is the soft bias that you may not see.

07:10:19.000 Watch when Senator Santorum starts to speak.

07:10:21.000 By the way, I love Senator Santorum on CNN, but he looks like Wallace and Grumman.

07:10:27.000 And how much time will she give him to respond?

07:10:30.000 So she's had what?

07:10:30.000 Yeah, let's see.

07:10:31.000 Have we had a time?

07:10:32.000 She was at least 3.03.

07:10:32.000 It's 3.05.

07:10:34.000 So she's had at least two full minutes to people watching.

07:10:37.000 Hashtag Crowder CNN live stream.

07:10:40.000 Okay.

07:10:40.000 You are compassionate as a father of many, you know, in hearing this whole story.

07:10:45.000 It's just, I know this is also about the deficit.

07:10:47.000 We say Republicans want to fund this for five years, Rick Ventura.

07:10:49.000 Look at Baldwin's face.

07:10:50.000 Look at how the softness is gone from her face.

07:10:53.000 We say Republicans want to fund this for five years.

07:10:55.000 OK.

07:10:58.000 Well, with all due respect, I haven't heard a single Republican talking about not reauthorizing chip or not funding chip.

07:11:05.000 This is not a controversial issue.

07:11:07.000 Look at Baldwin's face.

07:11:08.000 We need to cut.

07:11:09.000 Look at how the softness is gone from her face.

07:11:12.000 Do you see that now?

07:11:13.000 Pam and Brooke.

07:11:15.000 They're upset.

07:11:16.000 They don't like that he's speaking.

07:11:17.000 And interrupted.

07:11:18.000 And interrupted again.

07:11:18.000 Look at this!

07:11:19.000 20 seconds.

07:11:19.000 20 seconds in!

07:11:20.000 And interrupted.

07:11:22.000 Look at this!

07:11:22.000 And interrupted again.

07:11:25.000 From 3.02 to 3.05, he started speaking at 3.06. 20 seconds.

07:11:31.000 He was interrupted 20 seconds in.

07:11:33.000 20 seconds in, and the actual senator, Pam, has been cut off. 0.96

07:11:40.000 Was cut off immediately.

07:11:42.000 Do you want to take this off, Hopper?

07:11:43.000 Go ahead and take it off.

07:11:45.000 I'll rip it.

07:11:47.000 Look at that!

07:11:51.000 Look at the face of Brooke Baldwin. 0.99

07:11:52.000 Does anyone else see this?

07:11:54.000 Look at the face of Brooke Baldwin. 0.99

07:11:56.000 It's like when Hopper looks at you for... Hopper, come on.

07:11:58.000 Go, go, go.

07:11:58.000 Go ahead.

07:11:59.000 Look it down if it's interested.

07:12:00.000 Okay, so now he's had 40 seconds.

07:12:06.000 Combined.

07:12:07.000 Not uninterrupted.

07:12:08.000 Now, there may be legislative reasons for it to be delayed until March.

07:12:13.000 You put in the CR and it's going to be a bigger package of this.

07:12:15.000 You know what?

07:12:16.000 I understand how that can be disconcerting.

07:12:18.000 But let me just give you all the assurance that I can.

07:12:21.000 The chip funding is going to continue.

07:12:24.000 There will not be cuts in it.

07:12:26.000 Oh, gosh. 0.97

07:12:27.000 The lady on the left has the face of the crazy one on Y-Swap. 1.00

07:12:29.000 but I can tell you the one program The lady on the left has a face of the crazy one on White Swap. 0.99

07:12:35.000 I hope Rick is right.

07:12:36.000 We all do.

07:12:36.000 I said it right.

07:12:37.000 I really do.

07:12:38.000 But we need to know for the record the Republicans control the House and the Senate and CHIP expired in October.

07:12:44.000 How does money run out?

07:12:45.000 Because it's being spent.

07:12:46.000 Some states will certainly run out by all accounting and analysis out there by the end.

07:12:52.000 How does money run out?

07:12:53.000 Because it's being spent.

07:12:54.000 Who spends more money than anyone?

07:12:57.000 But it's not the same thing as a program.

07:13:00.000 You really hope that he's right?

07:13:00.000 Really?

07:13:00.000 We hope?

07:13:00.000 Stop it.

07:13:01.000 So, Edward, bring that down.

07:13:02.000 Bring that down. 0.90

07:13:03.000 This is crazy.

07:13:03.000 - Speak louder than the words the senator referenced.

07:13:06.000 - We hope for, listen, let's take the senator, we hope the senator is right, and we hope that, you know, - Really?

07:13:12.000 - We're continuing funding it for a long time.

07:13:12.000 We hope?

07:13:13.000 - You really hope that he's right? - Let's stop taxes.

07:13:16.000 Let's move on to that.

07:13:17.000 - Edward, bring that down, bring that down.

07:13:18.000 This is crazy, this is crazy.

07:13:20.000 The thing is, you hope, you just threw something out there and said Republicans are probably going to let children die.

07:13:27.000 Yeah.

07:13:27.000 We hope they're going to fund it.

07:13:29.000 It's never not been funded.

07:13:31.000 Everybody has talked about Chip being taken care of.

07:13:34.000 It's never going to be a problem.

07:13:35.000 No, it's never not been.

07:13:36.000 What it is, and what they don't talk about... And it's a scare tactic now.

07:13:36.000 Yeah.

07:13:39.000 Oh, here we show the Disney broad again. 0.53

07:13:41.000 For crying out loud!

07:13:43.000 Can I say something, too, without being sexist?

07:13:45.000 Look at what time of day it is.

07:13:45.000 No.

07:13:46.000 I mean, you can say it, but it'll be sexist no matter what.

07:13:48.000 Well, it's funny that they ran this story.

07:13:50.000 It's not funny that they ran this story right now.

07:13:52.000 And I don't say this is a sexist thing at all, but more moms are watching right now than will be later. 1.00

07:13:57.000 Yeah.

07:13:57.000 And so this is pulling at the heartstrings of moms.

07:13:59.000 They're gonna let your kids die. 0.97

07:13:59.000 It's true. 0.97

07:14:01.000 Right.

07:14:02.000 They switched from Tyra, Oprah.

07:14:02.000 Right?

07:14:04.000 I don't know who's going on right now.

07:14:05.000 Who's the one who fainted?

07:14:06.000 It was the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life.

07:14:08.000 What does that mean for the evening news?

07:14:10.000 Well, the evening news is going to be all Trump and politics and hardcore.

07:14:13.000 It means because men tend to work more. 0.82

07:14:16.000 No, don't, now be nice.

07:14:17.000 No, it's true.

07:14:18.000 Women, there are more stay-at-home moms than stay-at-home dads. 1.00

07:14:21.000 I agree, 100%.

07:14:21.000 Wendy Williams.

07:14:23.000 She's the one who faked it and I about peed myself laughing because she was fine afterwards.

07:14:28.000 But did you see that you were right?

07:14:29.000 Three minutes, 20 seconds.

07:14:31.000 If we did a stopwatch on this, And then we're back to Chappelle.

07:14:36.000 So now they just showed a Disney clip, a liberal, and now they're showing a Dave Chappelle clip saying Trump is fighting for me, not the poor.

07:14:42.000 So look, we have a Democrat guest, Pam, we have a liberal host, and we have one Republican former senator guest, who they've interrupted.

07:14:50.000 And now they've shown a pro-Democrat clip from a Disney broad, and now a pro-Democrat clip from Dave Chappelle.

07:14:56.000 So basically, we've now stacked the deck, host, guest, two clips, four to one.

07:15:02.000 I was about to say, how many— The most awesome thing I ever knew.

07:15:04.000 How many Republicans have we seen on here, other than when they're cutting away to a conference or something like that, when the Republicans are announcing the tax plan?

07:15:11.000 How many voices of opposition have they brought on today?

07:15:14.000 Does anybody know?

07:15:15.000 Well, here's something even worse.

07:15:18.000 Not only that, it's been one that I've seen, maybe two.

07:15:20.000 I think there was a black guy from the Wall Street Journal.

07:15:23.000 Do you know where that Disney clip came from?

07:15:25.000 Aaron the Intern, you'll know this.

07:15:27.000 So now this one?

07:15:28.000 Yes!

07:15:29.000 That's exactly it!

07:15:30.000 Oh, yeah.

07:15:31.000 We do this stuff all the time.

07:15:32.000 Okay.

07:15:32.000 Alright, I think we have some games to play.

07:15:33.000 Aaron, the intern, everybody.

07:15:34.000 Thank you so much.

07:15:35.000 I don't want to keep you drinking your beer.

07:15:39.000 It is just, now this.

07:15:40.000 Now for those people who don't know, now this is an incredibly liber- is now this?

07:15:44.000 Thank you.

07:15:46.000 And the intern, everybody.

07:15:47.000 They just don't make costumes in our sizes.

07:15:49.000 No, there you go.

07:15:50.000 Grab that microphone.

07:15:51.000 Thanks.

07:15:51.000 It is just now this.

07:15:54.000 Now, for those people who don't know, now this is an incredibly liberal.

07:15:57.000 Is now this?

07:15:58.000 Who is now this?

07:15:59.000 It's not the occupied Democrats, but it might as well be, right?

07:16:03.000 It might as well be.

07:16:04.000 I don't think they're on YouTube, but they're a huge Facebook video.

07:16:06.000 But it's like Vox, right?

07:16:08.000 It's really far left.

07:16:08.000 It's like Soros videos for Facebook moms.

07:16:10.000 It's Soros videos for Facebook moms.

07:16:12.000 So CNN isn't even producing the content.

07:16:14.000 They didn't even have the foresight to sit down and interview the Disney lady. 0.99

07:16:17.000 Now this, a Facebook group, by the way, a Facebook group who's going to curate genuine news.

07:16:17.000 Right.

07:16:22.000 Right.

07:16:23.000 Unbiased.

07:16:24.000 Now this creates a clip and then CNN runs it.

07:16:28.000 As though it's their own.

07:16:29.000 And they say, what do you think, Pam?

07:16:31.000 And then Pam goes on for three minutes and they say, what do you think, former Senator Santorum?

07:16:34.000 And we have to go, that's it.

07:16:35.000 Look at the faces he's getting right now.

07:16:37.000 Look at the faces.

07:16:38.000 Oh, man.

07:16:39.000 At least they're letting him talk.

07:16:41.000 I just want to point out one, in the middle of that, what the senator said in terms of some companies.

07:16:45.000 He's absolutely correct and I think it's important to point that out.

07:16:47.000 A moment of honesty.

07:16:47.000 Whoa!

07:16:48.000 Wells Fargo, the 5th, 3rd, Bancorp said they plan to hike their company-wide minimum wages to $50 an hour.

07:16:54.000 Comcast?

07:16:55.000 Comcast, AT&T, Honesty.

07:16:56.000 So if you work for MSNBC, you'd be getting a bonus right now.

07:17:00.000 She's talking Todd Warner.

07:17:01.000 Nevertheless, that's a good thing for the administration.

07:17:05.000 Just trying to sneak that in there.

07:17:06.000 Go ahead.

07:17:06.000 Boom.

07:17:07.000 That's funny.

07:17:08.000 That was fair.

07:17:09.000 She gave him one.

07:17:10.000 She did.

07:17:11.000 Me too.

07:17:11.000 There were falsehoods in what the senator said.

07:17:14.000 And I'm not going to comment on Ms. Disney.

07:17:16.000 Hold on a second.

07:17:16.000 How is that possible?

07:17:17.000 83% are from the 1%.

07:17:18.000 So what does that mean?

07:17:20.000 I'm just saying 83% of the beneficiaries, I guess.

07:17:22.000 Not saying 83% of Americans.

07:17:23.000 who will get a tax break from this, a sustained tax break, are from the 1%.

07:17:23.000 No.

07:17:29.000 That's not true.

07:17:29.000 Hold on a second.

07:17:30.000 How is that possible?

07:17:32.000 83% are from the 1%.

07:17:35.000 So what does that mean?

07:17:37.000 In less than a decade.

07:17:38.000 I mean, it's like 5% of the beneficiaries, I guess.

07:17:41.000 Not saying 83% of Americans.

07:17:43.000 No, no.

07:17:44.000 Let me be really clear with you.

07:17:44.000 Okay.

07:17:46.000 Let's bring this up.

07:17:48.000 This is misleading though, so here's why she's saying that.

07:17:51.000 She's saying that because the corporate tax rate stays that way forever and you get rid of the inheritance tax.

07:17:55.000 Right.

07:17:56.000 But these things are supposed to sunset, what, after 10 years?

07:17:59.000 How many times have they not been renewed?

07:18:01.000 Tax cuts tend to get renewed.

07:18:01.000 Right.

07:18:04.000 That's the only way that you can make that comment, but it's incredibly misleading to say 87 or whatever she just said, 85% of the beneficiaries are going to be in the 1%.

07:18:12.000 Well, yeah, exactly.

07:18:13.000 That's so not true.

07:18:14.000 Here's the thing.

07:18:15.000 Who cares?

07:18:16.000 I'm saying it's not true, you're right.

07:18:18.000 By the way, no.

07:18:20.000 1% would be joint household income of $300,000.

07:18:21.000 $300,000 or something.

07:18:23.000 It might be $400,000, depending on the numbers you use.

07:18:25.000 It's 3-something, 4-something joint household income.

07:18:27.000 If you're in New York, that gets you a walk-up.

07:18:29.000 You're ashamed and afraid to walk up to.

07:18:31.000 They give you a bulletproof vest and a set of keys.

07:18:31.000 Yeah, exactly.

07:18:33.000 Yes, exactly.

07:18:34.000 And say, bob and weave.

07:18:35.000 And what they're just doing here is, again, this is what's important with CNN.

07:18:38.000 All they're doing is, that's what Bernie Sanders does.

07:18:40.000 Look at this percent and this percent.

07:18:40.000 The 1%, the 12%, the 15%.

07:18:42.000 Well, hold on a second.

07:18:45.000 What you're talking about is these corporations being allowed to keep half.

07:18:51.000 If you make more than $40,000 a year, you're going to get a tax break.

07:18:54.000 How about that?

07:18:54.000 If you make more than $44,000 a year, you're going to get a tax break.

07:18:56.000 If you don't, it basically stays the same.

07:18:59.000 You still get a little one when he's doubling the standard deduction.

07:19:06.000 That's a huge tax break for a ton of people.

07:19:08.000 People that work for me are going to be able to use that.

07:19:10.000 Okay, hold on a second here.

07:19:12.000 I want to hear this.

07:19:15.000 Good point.

07:19:16.000 Good point.

07:19:17.000 Look at her shaking her head. 1.00

07:19:18.000 No, no, no, no, no.

07:19:20.000 And Brooke now smirkly laughing.

07:19:26.000 No, it's not.

07:19:28.000 No.

07:19:29.000 It's not.

07:19:30.000 The one-time tax raise for the middle class will go away and they will have no permanent benefits.

07:19:30.000 I'm Pam.

07:19:36.000 But why will they go away?

07:19:37.000 This is the thing, they don't explain it.

07:19:40.000 Like, as though Donald Trump designed it to go away.

07:19:43.000 Tax plans get rescinded.

07:19:44.000 Now what you're talking about is a fundamental changing of the highest corporate tax rate in the industrialized world.

07:19:50.000 Spur the economy?

07:19:50.000 That will do what?

07:19:51.000 Of course spur the economy.

07:19:52.000 So everybody gets more money.

07:19:53.000 We already see it.

07:19:54.000 Oh, breaking news.

07:19:54.000 Yes.

07:19:57.000 128 to 9!

07:19:57.000 UN votes to condemn Trump's Jerusalem decision.

07:19:57.000 Breaking News!

07:20:01.000 Again.

07:20:02.000 Guys!

07:20:02.000 Anti-tax.

07:20:03.000 Breaking News!

07:20:04.000 You keep saying that word.

07:20:05.000 I don't think it means... Breaking News!

07:20:08.000 Breaking News!

07:20:09.000 CNN's lying about Breaking News.

07:20:11.000 Breaking News! 0.85

07:20:12.000 We're bullshitting you.

07:20:13.000 Breaking News! 0.78

07:20:13.000 Everything they've said has been a lie! 0.78

07:20:15.000 When it comes to Breaking News, that's not new.

07:20:17.000 Look at the storyline.

07:20:18.000 What's considered the time frame, guys?

07:20:20.000 Anyone know for Breaking News?

07:20:21.000 I don't know, but do you think it's outright lies or just sensationalism?

07:20:26.000 I don't know.

07:20:27.000 I think this is important to kind of tie into Mug Club because I think these guys are beholden to getting viewers.

07:20:30.000 Because they're supposed to be.

07:20:31.000 But I'm wondering if it's like if there's considered a cutoff at, you know, I don't know, it's breaking news for 12 hours.

07:20:36.000 I don't know if that's their journalistic standards.

07:20:38.000 I think this is important to kind of tie into Mug Club because I think these guys are beholden to getting viewers.

07:20:42.000 They're beholden to getting clicks.

07:20:43.000 They're beholden to sponsors who will pull their advertising if they don't.

07:20:47.000 And so they have to sensationalize stuff to get people to tune in.

07:20:49.000 It has to be breaking news.

07:20:51.000 It has to be life or death.

07:20:52.000 It has to be kids dying.

07:20:53.000 It has to be Trump and Russia instead of real news.

07:20:56.000 Otherwise, they have no money, they have no jobs.

07:20:58.000 Whereas because of Mug Club, we can just give them the straight information. 0.99

07:21:01.000 If you like it, great.

07:21:02.000 If you don't, sorry, you paid to be here.

07:21:04.000 Strange computer, bring up that overlay here real quick.

07:21:06.000 80% of Americans are going to be getting a tax break.

07:21:08.000 Yes.

07:21:09.000 Okay, just so you know, 80% of Americans are going to be getting a tax break.

07:21:11.000 Most of them don't know this.

07:21:11.000 That's a lot.

07:21:12.000 This comes from TheAtlantic.com.

07:21:17.000 So yeah, the cuts shrink over time, eventually reducing to basically where we are today.

07:21:22.000 Which is not bad.

07:21:23.000 It still is pretty bad.

07:21:24.000 Well, I mean, relatively speaking, if you're saying if Trump's reelected, it probably goes on.

07:21:28.000 That's the thing.

07:21:28.000 Right.

07:21:29.000 You only have so much.

07:21:30.000 It's an uphill battle to get any tax cuts in with Democrats anyway.

07:21:33.000 This is the only thing they would accept.

07:21:34.000 Let me ask you this.

07:21:35.000 Just put your critical thinking gap on before I get too technical.

07:21:38.000 OK, they're trying to pass a tax bill where 80 percent of Americans receive tax cuts.

07:21:42.000 OK, that's what's happening right now.

07:21:43.000 Hold on a second.

07:21:45.000 Genuine question to people out there.

07:21:47.000 Who do you think is fighting the tax cuts?

07:21:49.000 If the tax cuts were going to be longer than, say, to 2027, who do you think would be the sticking point for tax cuts for 80% of Americans?

07:21:57.000 Do you think it would be Republicans or do you think it would be Democrats?

07:22:00.000 The reason they shrink back down is because of what you have to do to get any kind of tax reform in through the Democrats.

07:22:06.000 If Republicans had their way, none of you would be paying these rates.

07:22:09.000 If Republicans had their way, you'd have a flat tax.

07:22:11.000 If you could, if conservatives had their way, well, fair tax, no, I'm a flat tax guy.

07:22:15.000 A fair, flat tax is what I mean.

07:22:16.000 Well, fair tax is a different thing.

07:22:18.000 I didn't mean to run to the thing.

07:22:18.000 I know it's a thing.

07:22:19.000 It's just, to me, people watch the internet are like, oh, it's good.

07:22:21.000 Ask yourself, why would those tax breaks, and when we say break, what we mean is not taking half, Why would the 80% of Americans receiving tax breaks, not including all the benefits of employment, not including all the benefits of the corporate tax rate reduction, why would 80% of Americans who are receiving tax breaks see that reduced to 2027?

07:22:41.000 You have to ask yourself, is it more likely that Republicans said, we don't want Americans to get tax breaks in 2027, or is it more likely that in order to appease the Democrats, They had to find some kind of a middle ground, which meant these tax breaks won't last forever, kind of like the Bush tax breaks.

07:22:57.000 Who wants the tax breaks for 80% of Americans, Republicans or Democrats?

07:23:00.000 That's it.

07:23:01.000 That's the main question. 1.00

07:23:02.000 If you answer Republicans, you shouldn't be—you're an idiot. 1.00

07:23:06.000 You shouldn't be watching this stream. 1.00

07:23:08.000 You should be there with Pam.

07:23:11.000 Republicans want you to be able to keep and spend more of your own money.

07:23:14.000 Do you have the overlay at the Fenn computer?

07:23:16.000 We got it up already.

07:23:17.000 Oh, we got it up?

07:23:19.000 Yeah.

07:23:19.000 80% of households will see some benefit in 2018.

07:23:23.000 And you know, the 20% that want to complain about this, you're not paying a lot in taxes anyway.

07:23:28.000 I get it.

07:23:29.000 But everybody is getting some benefit out of this, right?

07:23:32.000 It says 80% because there's got to be some groups that don't, right?

07:23:35.000 But if you're not paying taxes anyway, you're probably not going to see a huge benefit out of this.

07:23:38.000 But they did, what is it, double the child care tax exemption?

07:23:41.000 They doubled the ability for you to write off or the standard deduction so you don't have to worry about itemizing?

07:23:46.000 For everybody out there right now who is poor living in an apartment, you should be celebrating like it's Christmas. 1.00

07:23:52.000 Because technically, it pretty much is.

07:23:53.000 Right.

07:23:54.000 But you get... That's huge!

07:23:55.000 You have a deduction that goes from, what, $6,000 to $12,000 now?

07:23:59.000 Right off the top?

07:24:00.000 Well, and this is what it comes down to.

07:24:03.000 Most Americans don't know they're getting a tax break.

07:24:06.000 It's because they listen to this.

07:24:06.000 Right.

07:24:07.000 Statistical reality.

07:24:08.000 80% of Americans are getting a tax break.

07:24:11.000 We're not even talking about corporate tax or unemployment.

07:24:11.000 Period.

07:24:14.000 80% of Americans are getting a tax break.

07:24:15.000 Period.

07:24:16.000 The majority of Americans don't realize they're getting a tax break.

07:24:19.000 80% don't realize it.

07:24:20.000 I didn't know that Al Franken spoke yesterday!

07:24:24.000 Because it said earlier!

07:24:25.000 Because I've been watching CNN all day.

07:24:28.000 Do you understand how today, like my brain is toxified.

07:24:30.000 Yeah.

07:24:30.000 I'm not joking.

07:24:31.000 You're like behind a whole day now.

07:24:32.000 I'm behind a whole news cycle today.

07:24:34.000 The only reason I'm not is because of Sven, Reg, and Courtney who are sending me some texts going, hey, this just happened.

07:24:40.000 Remains a mystery.

07:24:41.000 Still a mystery.

07:24:42.000 Remains a mystery.

07:24:43.000 Five hours later.

07:24:44.000 OK, Sven, get another overlay up here of this, the two illegal immigrants. 0.77

07:24:48.000 That's in our document.

07:24:50.000 So this, they're saying remains a mystery.

07:24:51.000 Horrible that this man died.

07:24:52.000 I feel awful for this man's fiance.

07:24:54.000 Of course.

07:24:55.000 But guess what?

07:24:55.000 Yeah.

07:24:56.000 If you're watching, OK, let's see if they say anything about the two illegal immigrant drug cartels.

07:25:00.000 Let's see.

07:25:01.000 Let's watch this.

07:25:02.000 It's been a month since Angio Cho's fiancé, Border Patrol agent Rogelio Martinez, was killed on duty.

07:25:09.000 A month wondering what happened.

07:25:11.000 The whole thing is very confusing.

07:25:13.000 You know, and just the fact that nobody's getting any answers just makes it even worse.

07:25:18.000 On the night of November 18th, Martinez was working alone, checking culverts along the interstate near Van Horn, Texas, about 30 miles from the Mexican border.

07:25:27.000 Whatever happened next left Martinez badly injured and unconscious.

07:25:31.000 He never regained consciousness and later died in the hospital from head injuries.

07:25:35.000 I still have the last I love you note he left that night he left to work.

07:25:40.000 He said I love you.

07:25:42.000 And I found it the following morning when I was going through my makeup.

07:25:47.000 How did that make you feel?

07:25:50.000 No mention yet.

07:25:52.000 No mention yet of the suspects.

07:25:54.000 None.

07:25:55.000 Let's see if they do afterwards.

07:25:56.000 Sven, you have the overlay for that?

07:25:58.000 Okay.

07:26:00.000 But no answers.

07:26:02.000 A second agent, Stephen Michael Garland, was also found injured in the same area, but survived.

07:26:07.000 The Border Patrol Union was quick to label it an attack.

07:26:10.000 Texas Governor Greg Abbott called it murder, and on Twitter, the president used the incident to promote the southern border wall he's promised to build.

07:26:18.000 But the local sheriff, Oscar Carrillo, who responded to the scene that night, says it did not look like an attack to him.

07:26:25.000 These agents didn't get clipped by a truck.

07:26:26.000 may have fallen eight to ten feet to the bottom of the culvert.

07:26:29.000 He told Dallas Morning News it's even possible they were clipped by a passing tractor trailer.

07:26:33.000 The union disagrees.

07:26:35.000 These agents didn't get clipped by a truck.

07:26:37.000 They didn't get clipped by a car.

07:26:40.000 It's just plain to see that they were attacked.

07:26:40.000 They were attacked.

07:26:43.000 That was cut really fast.

07:26:44.000 They were attacked by whom?

07:26:45.000 Okay, good.

07:26:45.000 They were attacked by whom?

07:26:45.000 There we go.

07:26:47.000 There we go.

07:27:00.000 Okay, good.

07:27:01.000 Fine.

07:27:05.000 You had the opportunity to actually go out to that scene.

07:27:07.000 - Tried.

07:27:07.000 What did that tell you?

07:27:08.000 - Might tie them to the scene.

07:27:09.000 The FBI has since indicated it's no longer looking in that direction.

07:27:14.000 - You had the opportunity to actually go out to that scene.

07:27:17.000 What did that tell you? - I find it very hard that-- - Wow.

07:27:23.000 - A fall could have caused all the damage that he had.

07:27:28.000 And as far as him being, you know, sideswept, it couldn't have happened either because he was not off the freeway.

07:27:37.000 He was actually on the side road.

07:27:38.000 From the damages to his face, I mean, there's no way.

07:27:42.000 There's no way.

07:27:43.000 The one person who might have answers, Agent Garland, says he doesn't remember anything after arriving at work that day.

07:27:50.000 Garland has so far not responded to interview requests, and Ochoa says he's also not reached out.

07:27:56.000 At least now they're mentioning it.

07:27:57.000 And I just figured, you know, eventually, you know... Maybe they saw the hashtag CrowderCNN livestream.

07:28:02.000 Maybe they saw CNN livestream.

07:28:04.000 Keep the hashtag going, guys.

07:28:04.000 They're changing it.

07:28:06.000 Keep the hashtag going, CrowderCNN livestream.

07:28:08.000 This is unbelievable to me.

07:28:10.000 To believe that he can't remember.

07:28:12.000 Yeah.

07:28:13.000 Anything.

07:28:16.000 For its part, the Border Patrol Union says that Garland suffered severe head trauma, that he wants to remember what happened, wants to get it out in the open, and ultimately wants justice to be done.

07:28:27.000 Scott McClain, CNN.

07:28:28.000 Sven Computer, let's bring up that overlay.

07:28:28.000 So hold on a second.

07:28:31.000 Thank you so much.

07:28:33.000 Oh, we have a call?

07:28:34.000 We have another guest coming up.

07:28:36.000 David Barton.

07:28:37.000 Oh, David Barton!

07:28:38.000 Is he on the line already?

07:28:40.000 We have David Barton coming up.

07:28:41.000 I don't really know what we'll be talking about with David Barton.

07:28:43.000 Do we have anything specific on history?

07:28:44.000 Because that guy has artifacts and all that kind of stuff.

07:28:46.000 Oh yeah, that's cool.

07:28:47.000 You really don't know how to put on a scotch.

07:28:49.000 Your wife put this on me.

07:28:50.000 You're dispelling... It's really disgusting. 1.00

07:28:53.000 Your wife did it. 0.99

07:28:54.000 Alright, we got a commercial.

07:28:55.000 So before... Hey, can you move those firearms back before Aaron the Intern moved them away from him?

07:28:59.000 I wanted them aimed at him.

07:29:00.000 They were aimed at that chair very, very tactfully. 0.85

07:29:02.000 I should pull the trigger, right?

07:29:06.000 No, no, no, no. 0.97

07:29:07.000 Put them back.

07:29:07.000 I don't know what you mean.

07:29:09.000 For crying out loud.

07:29:10.000 I didn't see it.

07:29:11.000 None of you have any sense of presentation.

07:29:13.000 These guys are sponsors.

07:29:16.000 Move your mug.

07:29:17.000 Your mug doesn't... Oh, wait.

07:29:18.000 Wasn't there... Did you just take this mug?

07:29:21.000 No, it's been there the whole time.

07:29:22.000 There's water in it.

07:29:24.000 I know, but it's mine.

07:29:25.000 It's been there the whole time.

07:29:26.000 I didn't move anything when I put it there.

07:29:29.000 Alright, there you go.

07:29:30.000 It's terrible.

07:29:31.000 It's like you're an old married couple.

07:29:32.000 It is my mug.

07:29:34.000 Everything looks good?

07:29:34.000 All right, go ahead and sit down.

07:29:37.000 We'll be ready for David Barton.

07:29:40.000 I'm ready for David Barton.

07:29:40.000 I'm just making sure I display...

07:29:41.000 Everything looks good?

07:29:42.000 ...for our wonderful sponsors.

07:29:44.000 Well, I'm going to put my mug there when I'm drinking it.

07:29:46.000 Just put it there.

07:29:47.000 You have a cup holder.

07:29:48.000 Oh, okay.

07:29:48.000 I didn't know.

07:29:49.000 It might be a little small, but it'll work.

07:29:51.000 It doesn't, it doesn't fit.

07:29:52.000 It's gonna spill so bad.

07:29:53.000 It's gonna, it just, I can't do it.

07:29:55.000 I'm just, look at this, the beautiful Walters.

07:29:57.000 We gotta have the beautiful Walters. 1.00

07:29:58.000 Aww, look at that.

07:29:59.000 Our sponsor.

07:30:00.000 For crying out loud.

07:30:00.000 Yeah.

07:30:01.000 Yeah, good job.

07:30:02.000 Who is Sven Computer texting?

07:30:03.000 Good job.

07:30:04.000 Who are you texting?

07:30:04.000 You texting your buddy there, Sven Computer?

07:30:06.000 You have no buddies.

07:30:07.000 He doesn't have anybody, alright.

07:30:08.000 This is your buddy!

07:30:10.000 We are your buddy!

07:30:12.000 We have David Barton on the line?

07:30:12.000 I'll be back.

07:30:13.000 We got him.

07:30:14.000 We have Matt.

07:30:14.000 All right.

07:30:15.000 I'll be back.

07:30:15.000 You're leaving?

07:30:16.000 We have master historian and artifact collector extraordinaire, Mr. David Barton.

07:30:22.000 Mr. Barton, can you hear me, sir?

07:30:23.000 I sure can.

07:30:24.000 I'm glad to have you.

07:30:26.000 David, my brain is mush.

07:30:28.000 Are you aware of what's going on today?

07:30:29.000 No.

07:30:32.000 Okay, I guess Darren has... I hope Darren has filled... I've been watching... We're watching CNN for 16 hours straight today.

07:30:38.000 The entire original CNN clock.

07:30:40.000 So the reason we're doing this is because I was waterboarded last year and we said, what's worse than waterboarding?

07:30:45.000 So we've been trending here today.

07:30:47.000 Hashtag CrowderCNN livestream.

07:30:49.000 Hopefully you tweet it out to keep it going.

07:30:51.000 We're a thorn in their... For 16 hours and we are what?

07:30:53.000 Are we... We are 7 and 12, I think.

07:30:53.000 12?

07:30:55.000 7 hours and 12 minutes in.

07:30:55.000 Maybe halfway.

07:30:56.000 Seven hours and 12 minutes.

07:30:58.000 Not even halfway.

07:31:00.000 So we've been watching it all day.

07:31:04.000 Let me give you a brief hit list, David.

07:31:07.000 Brief hit list of CNN.

07:31:08.000 They've been talking about Russia hysteria.

07:31:11.000 Not mentioning that Trump's saying Trump's going to fire Mueller.

07:31:13.000 He already said no.

07:31:14.000 Adam Schiff was talking about the Mueller probe.

07:31:16.000 Nine months, no evidence.

07:31:18.000 No mention at all of Uranium One.

07:31:19.000 That's been the number one trend all day.

07:31:20.000 They say that Republicans want to cut the chip program, leaving nine million, and I quote, tiny Tims without insurance.

07:31:25.000 No mention of the Melbourne attacker, Afghani Saeed Nayori.

07:31:28.000 They just said some random guy ran a truck into people.

07:31:31.000 For the longest time until just now, they didn't acknowledge the two illegal immigrant drug dealers who were suspects with the man killed at the border patrol.

07:31:37.000 And they have never mentioned the 1995 Israel vote to recognize, of course, Jerusalem as the official capital, where they would put the embassy and every president thereafter.

07:31:46.000 And of course, now they're talking about a government shutdown with no recognition of the Republicans' promise to fund short-term funding to January 19th.

07:31:55.000 They're just saying the Republicans want to shut down the government.

07:31:57.000 So this is all just today.

07:31:59.000 We've been just doing this because the only way, David, to actually show people is to sit down and watch this for their entire original clock to show all the lies by omission.

07:32:08.000 And I think a big one is Israel that we're talking about today.

07:32:10.000 I know you're a historian.

07:32:12.000 Tell people who don't know, you know, first off, let's do this.

07:32:16.000 Tell them about the 1995 vote that passed overwhelmingly in the Senate and House.

07:32:22.000 And for how long Jerusalem has been recognized as the capital of Israel.

07:32:26.000 They've been acting like this is a new thing.

07:32:28.000 Yeah, well, Jerusalem has been recognized the capital of Israel for 3,500 years.

07:32:33.000 It's just that America got around to acknowledging that in 1995, and that is what Congress passed.

07:32:38.000 That was under Bill Clinton, said, yep, Israel, Jerusalem is the capital of Israel.

07:32:43.000 Everybody else in the world knows that.

07:32:45.000 And so what happens is, every six months since, and they put a little clause in there that says, every six months the President can, for security reasons, say, well, we're not going to move our embassy there.

07:32:54.000 And we've been doing that every six months since 1995.

07:32:57.000 And finally Trump said, that hadn't worked out too well.

07:33:00.000 That's supposed to bring peace, and us not moving our embassy there is supposed to make the Palestinians really happy. 0.85

07:33:05.000 That hasn't happened, so let's try something different.

07:33:07.000 So, you know, no real change except we've done what the law required us to do back in 1995.

07:33:14.000 It is a huge deal.

07:33:15.000 Let me ask you, why haven't presidents kept their word on that?

07:33:17.000 Why haven't they actually just recognized it?

07:33:20.000 Two answers.

07:33:21.000 State Department and U.S.

07:33:23.000 military.

07:33:24.000 State Department says, no, no, no, don't do that.

07:33:26.000 That's a really bad deal.

07:33:27.000 And by the way, the State Department kind of think they are their own government.

07:33:30.000 They don't really think themselves a part of the American government.

07:33:33.000 If you remember when Ronald Reagan said, tear down this wall, the State Department sent out this notice that he doesn't speak for us.

07:33:38.000 He speaks for himself as President of the United States.

07:33:41.000 So State Department is its own little renegade thing over there, and they are not friends of Israel.

07:33:46.000 They are not very pro-Israel at all.

07:33:48.000 And then they tell the military guys, you know, if this happens, there's going to be a massive war over there.

07:33:52.000 We're going to get sucked into this war.

07:33:53.000 We don't want to do this.

07:33:55.000 So what happens is the military guys repeat what the State Department has told them, and that's what it's been for nearly 20 years now, the State Department pulling the strings on this.

07:34:03.000 Are you aware of the vote today in the UN?

07:34:05.000 What's transpired?

07:34:07.000 Now, they've been saying breaking news all day, 128 to 9.

07:34:09.000 I don't know what the rule is.

07:34:12.000 Maybe you can tell us historically.

07:34:14.000 It seems to me like six hours later, it's no longer breaking news.

07:34:17.000 And they keep running the same speeches as though they're live.

07:34:19.000 I don't know if you know this, David.

07:34:20.000 This is what they do on CNN.

07:34:22.000 If you were to tune in right now, you would think the Al Franken resignation speech is live.

07:34:27.000 You would think the Nikki Haley speech is live because it says breaking and it shows them speaking.

07:34:31.000 It keeps saying breaking Trump-Russia probe, breaking 128 nations vote to condemn the United States on Israel.

07:34:39.000 It is remarkable to me.

07:34:41.000 Let me ask you this, and then I want to get into the history kind of of Christmas in the United States.

07:34:44.000 I know you want to talk about that.

07:34:45.000 Historically, do you think that journalism has always been this bad in the United States, and we just are now able to see it with social media?

07:34:52.000 Or do you think there was actually a golden era where this isn't the kind of stuff that they did in mainstream media?

07:34:57.000 No, there's always been some bias there.

07:34:58.000 I mean, Founding Fathers started the Committee of Correspondence because they said there's a British bias in the news.

07:35:03.000 And there was.

07:35:04.000 So we started our own alternative news media back then.

07:35:07.000 It was horseback.

07:35:08.000 It's kind of like the social media of the day, if you would.

07:35:10.000 So there's been bias, but there's always been a level of integrity where that you didn't just flat out lie about things.

07:35:17.000 Right.

07:35:17.000 Fake news.

07:35:18.000 I mean, fake news has happened.

07:35:20.000 I've got some some news that was running back in 1777, where the New York newspapers were faking letters from George Washington, running them in the newspaper to make people think bad about George Washington.

07:35:32.000 Was this Dan Rather the first?

07:35:36.000 That's right.

07:35:37.000 So it goes on.

07:35:38.000 But by the time you get to the 1830s, it's really, really interesting in the sense that they would report news out of the Capitol.

07:35:45.000 The Washington Globe was the newspaper, kind of like the Washington Post.

07:35:48.000 And they would give you the news of both parties, what they were doing.

07:35:51.000 And they would say, oh, by the way, here's our thought.

07:35:54.000 And then they would jump all over policy and say, now that's our opinion.

07:35:57.000 Now we're coming back to news.

07:35:58.000 So they were really good about not putting their opinion into the news.

07:36:02.000 That's something we don't do anymore.

07:36:03.000 Today, our opinion is Breaking news!

07:36:06.000 You know, if CNN doesn't run this stuff over and over, their 12 viewers aren't going to see all this stuff.

07:36:10.000 Oh, hey, one second.

07:36:11.000 One second, David Barton.

07:36:12.000 Look, breaking news.

07:36:13.000 U.N. votes 128 to 9 to condemn Trump's Jerusalem decision.

07:36:16.000 Again, I don't know if you can see if you can see program.

07:36:18.000 It says breaking news right now.

07:36:20.000 I would just they're beyond mockery.

07:36:23.000 It says breaking news.

07:36:24.000 And by the way, do we need to point out that it's already been vetoed in Security Council?

07:36:30.000 This is a worthless vote.

07:36:31.000 It has absolutely no meaning.

07:36:32.000 And Israel has been condemned More than any other nation in the world.

07:36:39.000 And we're talking Iran, we're talking Cuba, we're talking Venezuela.

07:36:42.000 Israel has had more resolutions condemning them than any other nation in the world.

07:36:46.000 North Korea, you name it.

07:36:47.000 So the UN, this is really a trumped up thing, and every week they will have resolutions to condemn something in Israel.

07:36:54.000 That's just a standard weekly stuff.

07:36:56.000 You'll never hear that on CNN either.

07:36:58.000 No, of course you won't, which doesn't surprise me.

07:37:00.000 Let me ask you, so I know you wanted to talk about that we don't have a ton of time here, but the history of Christmas here.

07:37:04.000 It's a Christmas livestream.

07:37:06.000 Christmas and the United States.

07:37:07.000 A lot of people misconstrued with this one.

07:37:10.000 I got a lot of flack for saying Kwanzaa wasn't real.

07:37:13.000 But you tell us, what's the kind of marriage of the history of the United States and Christmas there?

07:37:18.000 Well, Christmas in New England just wasn't celebrated until 1870 in New England, Massachusetts area.

07:37:24.000 If you went to school and celebrated Christmas, you were expelled out of school.

07:37:28.000 It was illegal to celebrate Christmas in New England until after the Civil War.

07:37:31.000 So 1870 becomes a federal holiday.

07:37:34.000 Now, everybody was still very much pro-Jesus Christ.

07:37:36.000 That wasn't the issue.

07:37:37.000 The issue was, we don't make a big celebration festival out of it, because that's what they do in Europe, and we ain't Europe, and we're not doing that stuff.

07:37:44.000 OK.

07:37:44.000 Now, in the South, they did because in the South, you had more of the high church.

07:37:47.000 George Washington celebrated Christmas every year with a fox hunt and et cetera.

07:37:51.000 Andrew Jackson out of the South, he did the same thing.

07:37:53.000 But your northern presidents and northern areas, they didn't do it.

07:37:56.000 What's kind of fun is where history is, where the modern history starts 1890, 1890 or 1890.

07:38:03.000 1889 is the first Christmas tree in the White House.

07:38:06.000 That's under Benjamin Harrison.

07:38:08.000 1895 is the first Christmas lights in the White House, under the Clevelands. 0.98

07:38:13.000 By the time you get to 1923... What's the reason for the change there?

07:38:18.000 Was there a conscious decision?

07:38:19.000 What's the reason for the change?

07:38:21.000 Was it just an individual decision?

07:38:21.000 Was it cultural?

07:38:25.000 Well, back in the beginning, so much of what went on in America was guys fleeing religious persecution of Europe.

07:38:31.000 And the church that was persecuting them, Europe, was really big on huge Christmas celebrations, and they wanted none of that.

07:38:37.000 Now, they believe the birth of Christ is really important, but they didn't want that Austen-ish stuff.

07:38:42.000 But by the time you get to the end of the Civil War, we're not worried about Europe anymore.

07:38:46.000 And so that's where it starts becoming a holiday.

07:38:48.000 Actually, there's some fun stuff I kind of pulled out.

07:38:52.000 Eisenhower is obviously, you know, D-Day kind of stuff.

07:38:55.000 Right.

07:38:56.000 He's the first guy to get Hallmark Christmas cards to do Christmas cards for the White House.

07:39:01.000 He had 38 different Christmas cards done in the White House, but Eisenhower actually painted the covers on the Christmas cards.

07:39:07.000 These are a couple of Eisenhower's Christmas cards.

07:39:09.000 He was a noted author, a noted artist.

07:39:12.000 And so he painted covers on the Christmas cards.

07:39:15.000 Some of them, I think, would be a little different for us.

07:39:17.000 That's a Christmas card from the White House.

07:39:19.000 That's a picture of George Washington, but it's painted by President Eisenhower.

07:39:22.000 So that's a White House Christmas card, a little bigger than what we have.

07:39:26.000 By the way, contrast that with this.

07:39:29.000 This is a Christmas card from the Civil War.

07:39:31.000 This one right here.

07:39:33.000 That tiny thing is a business card, but that's a Civil War Christmas card.

07:39:36.000 It actually has the Lord's Prayer on it.

07:39:38.000 That was a Christmas card.

07:39:39.000 Can I ask you something?

07:39:40.000 Did Hallmark exist before those Christmas cards that you just showed?

07:39:43.000 Was Hallmark a card business before Christmas cards?

07:39:46.000 Yes.

07:39:47.000 What kind of cards did they do?

07:39:47.000 And what did they do?

07:39:49.000 Well, they did cards, but they just didn't do it for the White House.

07:39:51.000 And so what Eisenhower did was make a partnership for them to do it with the White House, and so they started doing White House.

07:39:57.000 Now, on the other side, consider this.

07:39:59.000 Jimmy Carter, when he gets in, he gives 70,000 Christmas cards, then it goes to 100,000 next Christmas, then it goes to 105,000 Christmas cards he gave out.

07:40:09.000 He gave out so many Christmas cards, Carter actually created a commission to study how many Christmas cards should be given out.

07:40:16.000 That's an easy thing.

07:40:16.000 How much did that commission cost?

07:40:19.000 Exactly!

07:40:21.000 Something you're doing yourself.

07:40:23.000 You're sending the Christmas cards.

07:40:25.000 This is a really famous Christmas card.

07:40:28.000 This is the first Christmas card to have the nativity scene out of the inside of the White House.

07:40:33.000 It's signed on the inside with John Kennedy and with Jackie Kennedy.

07:40:39.000 There were only 30 of these signed because while they were signing them, they left to go to Dallas.

07:40:44.000 He was assassinated, never signed the rest.

07:40:46.000 So this one never got mailed.

07:40:48.000 But that's a Christmas card that really is a famous Christmas card.

07:40:52.000 Way to be a downer on a Christmas live stream there, David.

07:40:57.000 Exactly right.

07:40:58.000 You also have this Christmas card.

07:41:00.000 This is the first Christmas card to have a Bible verse in it.

07:41:04.000 This is what came out after 9-11.

07:41:06.000 George and Laura Bush did this Christmas card in 2009.

07:41:09.000 So there's a lot of fun stuff here.

07:41:12.000 Here's a Christmas card actually from outer space.

07:41:15.000 Apollo 8 was the first Apollo mission to the moon, and on Christmas Eve they were orbiting the moon, and Frank Borman, this is actually the picture they took of Christmas Eve, the Earth rising over the moon, and then Frank Borman prayed a prayer for all of America there on Christmas Eve night, and they read the Genesis story.

07:41:35.000 That's a Christmas card from the moon.

07:41:37.000 Lots of fun Christmas stuff in American history.

07:41:39.000 There is a lot of fun Christmas stuff in American history.

07:41:41.000 What about the Kwanzaa?

07:41:42.000 Do you have any Kwanzaa artifacts?

07:41:44.000 Do you have any of the electrical cords that were used to beat the black Marxists from Ron Everett? 0.73

07:41:50.000 I'm sure you're aware of this.

07:41:51.000 Most people don't know anything about Kwanzaa.

07:41:53.000 Ron Everett was actually charged with beating women, soldering irons.

07:41:58.000 He was basically a Marxist liberation theologist. 0.63

07:42:01.000 Horrible person.

07:42:02.000 Less than 4%, less than 1% of African Americans celebrate it. 0.56

07:42:05.000 It's just interesting to me because we act as though all the holidays have to be as legitimate as all the other holidays.

07:42:11.000 Well, you'll love this.

07:42:12.000 I'm in Texas, conservative state, right?

07:42:14.000 So what happened last time we did our history standards in America?

07:42:14.000 Right.

07:42:17.000 The teachers, 240 teachers write the standards.

07:42:20.000 They recommended we take Christmas out and put Kwanzaa in.

07:42:24.000 Why?

07:42:25.000 What was their justification?

07:42:27.000 Well, we have to be equal, because everything is equal.

07:42:30.000 Now, as you point out, Kwanzaa doesn't get celebrated, Christmas does, but it's just the goofiness of what goes on in textbooks now.

07:42:37.000 Oh, gosh.

07:42:38.000 OK, well, listen, we have to—hold on a second.

07:42:39.000 What?

07:42:39.000 GOP tax cuts.

07:42:40.000 Oh, no, more breaking news soon on the Israel deal.

07:42:43.000 Really quickly.

07:42:44.000 David, for people who don't know, I've talked about this.

07:42:46.000 Give people, just like, if we can just take two minutes, the kind of the history of modern Israel.

07:42:51.000 Why are the Jews in there in that tiny plot of land, surrounded by people who want to kill them, and like you said, why have they had more sanctions put against them than, say, North Korea or even actual Islamic caliphates?

07:43:05.000 Yeah, there's about 2 billion people who want to see the 13 million Jews exterminated.

07:43:10.000 So if you keep odds, you're outnumbered 189 to 1.

07:43:13.000 What happened was Israel had been in that land, and you go all the way back to 2,000 years ago when Rome destroyed it and dispersed it, and you go back to the time of the founding fathers.

07:43:21.000 The founding fathers, John Adams, John Quincy Adams, others, wanted to see Israel reestablished as a nation back in the late 1700s, early 1800s.

07:43:31.000 So that's been going all along.

07:43:32.000 Finally, after World War I, Great Britain gets control.

07:43:36.000 They say, we're giving the Holy Land back to the Jews.

07:43:38.000 That was the Balfour Declaration.

07:43:40.000 You get to World War II, they gave half the land away to the Jordanians, Transjordan, etc.

07:43:45.000 So Israel is a really, really small place compared to what it had been and what it was intended to be after World War I.

07:43:52.000 And so right now what they're doing is they're trying to make it even smaller.

07:43:55.000 It is the size of New Jersey with the population of Indiana.

07:43:59.000 So it is not a big place at all.

07:44:01.000 And when Obama and other presidents talk about going back to the 67 borders, that means seven miles wide.

07:44:09.000 Explain to people who don't know, why is 67 so pivotal?

07:44:13.000 People who aren't aware of that seven-day war of, right, three countries who said, let's wipe Israel off the face of the map.

07:44:20.000 They gained land in a defensive maneuver, right?

07:44:24.000 That's right.

07:44:25.000 They gained land by defending themselves.

07:44:27.000 By defending themselves, and they went and drove the attackers out of the lands where they were being attacked.

07:44:32.000 And actually, that was part of what was supposed to be Israel's land back under the Balfour Declaration, the way it was divided up at World War I. So, what happened was, when World War II started, that land was supposed to belong to Israel.

07:44:43.000 Excuse me.

07:44:44.000 After World War II, it was given to Israel, but nobody was going to go in and defend Israel, and the British... Hold on, pause really quickly, because this is pivotal.

07:44:50.000 This is pivotal for people who don't know.

07:44:52.000 Who gave it to Israel? 0.90

07:44:54.000 It wasn't just a bunch of Jews.

07:44:56.000 Who voted to make that land Israel's? 0.85

07:44:58.000 David Barton.

07:44:59.000 The United Nations voted to do that.

07:45:01.000 There you go!

07:45:02.000 Thank you.

07:45:03.000 Most people have no idea.

07:45:04.000 Continue.

07:45:05.000 But that's just a tidbit that I think CNN seems to miss.

07:45:08.000 Go ahead.

07:45:09.000 Yeah, 1948 the U.N.

07:45:10.000 gave it to Israel, and at that time the U.N.

07:45:13.000 nor anybody else is going to defend their mandate to give it to Israel.

07:45:17.000 And at that time, in 1948, the British had made it illegal for Jews to own guns.

07:45:23.000 So now Israel has to go in and defend themselves.

07:45:26.000 It's illegal to own guns.

07:45:26.000 They don't have guns.

07:45:28.000 And here come these other people after them.

07:45:28.000 Right.

07:45:30.000 So even though they were given the land, what happened was the Jordanians and others came in and took a lot of the land. 0.99

07:45:36.000 And Israel let them keep that, and they built their own military and air force, and in 67, those three nations came after to get everything else that was there, and Israel just crushed them in that six-day war. 0.56

07:45:49.000 And they ended up keeping some of the land that they had been originally given, that the others had taken from them, and so they still are much smaller than what the mandate was in 1948.

07:45:59.000 But you're right, the UN gave it to them, and now the UN condemns them for what the UN gave to them, so it's a crazy thing.

07:46:05.000 It really is absolutely mind-boggling to me for anyone who understands the history of modern Israel.

07:46:10.000 I mean, imagine walking home tonight. 0.78

07:46:13.000 Imagine walking home and three muggers decide, hey, we're going to beat this guy to death.

07:46:19.000 And you just so happen to be able to defend yourself.

07:46:22.000 And when you defend yourself, you take away their guns and you run away.

07:46:25.000 And then people want to arrest you for taking their guns away from them so that they couldn't hurt you again.

07:46:30.000 I think that's a pretty fair analogy.

07:46:31.000 I think liberals want to do that every day in America.

07:46:33.000 Yeah, that's what happens every day in America.

07:46:35.000 That's kind of the analogy I use.

07:46:37.000 They fought back, and they fought back effectively, and now we're talking about just reckoning.

07:46:41.000 Let me ask you this really quickly.

07:46:43.000 Has Jerusalem ever been a capital of any other country?

07:46:47.000 No, it's like saying, well, it's an internet.

07:46:50.000 And see what happened, the UN said we want it to be an international city.

07:46:53.000 Okay, New York's an international city, but it's still part of the United States.

07:46:57.000 It doesn't belong to other nations.

07:46:59.000 Miami's an international city.

07:47:00.000 Dallas is an international city.

07:47:02.000 So they say, oh, it's an international city.

07:47:03.000 Israel can't own that. 1.00

07:47:05.000 It's been their capital 3,500 years.

07:47:07.000 Give me a break.

07:47:08.000 That's been the only capital they've had for 3,500 years.

07:47:11.000 Was it the capital ever of Palestine?

07:47:15.000 You know, Palestine didn't exist. 0.96

07:47:17.000 Palestine is what the Romans named the land in honor of the Philistines who hated the Jews.

07:47:23.000 And so since the Romans hated the Jews, they said, let's name it after the Jews' greatest enemy, the Philistines. 0.64

07:47:27.000 By the way, the Palestinians are not the Philistines. 0.59

07:47:30.000 The Palestinians were all white guys. 1.00

07:47:32.000 They weren't Arabs.

07:47:33.000 And they left by the fourth century A.D.

07:47:35.000 Right.

07:47:35.000 So the Palestinians that are in there today have no ancient claim on the land at all.

07:47:39.000 It's like renaming Iran the Queer Killer Stein or something. 0.88

07:47:39.000 No. 0.88

07:47:43.000 Yeah. 0.96

07:47:44.000 Let's just name it after people who wanted to kill them.

07:47:46.000 Was it ever the capital of, because I'm trying to say, you know, there were times obviously when the Jews didn't have control over Jerusalem and now they act as though it's this really, it's this holy site and it's just steeped in Muslim history.

07:47:46.000 Okay.

07:47:57.000 Was it ever the capital of obviously the biggest Muslim empire, the Ottoman Empire?

07:48:01.000 When they had control, was Jerusalem their capital?

07:48:03.000 It was not their capital.

07:48:05.000 No, it was Constantinople.

07:48:06.000 Who else do we have?

07:48:07.000 I think we have so many caliphates.

07:48:10.000 Put it this way.

07:48:11.000 Never been a capital of any Islamic country, nation, caliphate, ever. 0.96

07:48:15.000 Do I have that right?

07:48:17.000 You have that right, and it also doesn't appear in the Quran.

07:48:21.000 Only the deed.

07:48:23.000 Yeah, only Hadith when Muhammad, they claim he ascended to heaven, which was, I mean, I don't buy it, but you know, listen, that's not why you're here. 0.94

07:48:31.000 He never came to Jerusalem, he never was there at all.

07:48:33.000 No, he never set foot in Jerusalem.

07:48:36.000 It's mentioned, what, 600-something times?

07:48:38.000 400-something times by name, right, in the Old Testament, and another 200-plus times, if I'm not mistaken, with the term, obviously, the term Zion, which they're basically interchangeable.

07:48:46.000 So over 600 times, Jerusalem is mentioned specifically in the Torah, right?

07:48:51.000 Never in the Quran. 0.60

07:48:52.000 That's right.

07:48:53.000 It's not there.

07:48:54.000 All right.

07:48:55.000 Well, thank you, Mr. Barton.

07:48:56.000 Interesting history on American History and Christmas.

07:48:59.000 I didn't know all of that with the Christmas cards.

07:49:00.000 I'm not surprised with the Jimmy Carter stuff.

07:49:02.000 Mr. Barton, we do have to get going.

07:49:04.000 Where's the best place for people to find you?

07:49:06.000 Wallbuilders.com.

07:49:08.000 Wallbuilders.com, and pretty soon we're going to come out there.

07:49:10.000 We'll do a tour, right?

07:49:11.000 And we can tape a show from there.

07:49:14.000 You guys have tens of millions.

07:49:15.000 It's like they have the Hope Diamond.

07:49:17.000 It's a bunch of Civil War suits and cards and letters.

07:49:20.000 Thank you so much, David Barton.

07:49:21.000 You're a brilliant man.

07:49:22.000 We appreciate you educating us.

07:49:24.000 We must go.

07:49:26.000 Oh, he's nice.

07:49:26.000 Look, we got those little color bars going on there.

07:49:28.000 Oh, David Barton, what a nice man.

07:49:30.000 Gerald Love, where were you for a long time?

07:49:33.000 I was prepping next stuff, next segments and such.

07:49:34.000 When are we going to start?

07:49:35.000 I know we have some games and things like that planned.

07:49:37.000 We do.

07:49:38.000 We have a surprise coming in about 15, 20 minutes.

07:49:41.000 Okay.

07:49:41.000 And then we have some games coming soon after that, so there's going to be some good things and some presents coming.

07:49:47.000 Some presents?

07:49:48.000 Some presents.

07:49:49.000 Yeah, I got a little something special.

07:49:51.000 Sven Computer, what is it you were saying?

07:49:53.000 Sven Computer was texting me something.

07:49:54.000 Something about... Because I saw you texting on your phone, and I said, don't text on your phone!

07:49:58.000 Well, beep beep, I only texted on my phone to answer questions from fans, because I'm too stupid, because I'm a very bad computer, beep beep, so I don't know how to set up both accounts on this MacBook and Safari, so I can just switch like I could on the phone, but now I just opened the second browser to do it.

07:50:17.000 So you're good now?

07:50:18.000 So you just, so in other words, instead of having to use an ancient phone, you just open a new browser?

07:50:18.000 Yeah.

07:50:23.000 Exactly. 0.98

07:50:24.000 You are a terrible computer.

07:50:25.000 That was three minutes of my life I'll never get back.

07:50:27.000 We could have spent that on CNN.

07:50:29.000 I have no idea.

07:50:30.000 It's a commercial right now.

07:50:30.000 Well, there's nothing on CNN.

07:50:32.000 What block are we in for the shows, by the way?

07:50:34.000 What was that?

07:50:35.000 We're at the three, we're almost at four o'clock block, right?

07:50:40.000 Yeah.

07:50:40.000 So, uh, we're almost at 3 o'clock.

07:50:42.000 Jake Tapper's.

07:50:43.000 Jake Tapper's coming up.

07:50:44.000 Oh, Jake Tapper's coming up in a little bit.

07:50:45.000 Alright, you know what?

07:50:46.000 Can we do me a favor?

07:50:46.000 I have to go to the restroom really quickly because I've been drinking caffeine and I probably need to get some more caffeine.

07:50:53.000 Do we have some commercials here that we can run?

07:50:55.000 Do we have a response?

07:50:55.000 What do we have?

07:50:57.000 SimplySafe.

07:50:57.000 By the way, last week to do this, simplysafe.com slash Crowder, save yourself 10%.

07:51:03.000 If you don't need a home security system, don't get one.

07:51:05.000 If you need one, get SimplySafe.

07:51:06.000 No cords, easy to install, $15 a month, no contracts.

07:51:11.000 It's as safe as it gets.

07:51:13.000 It's as foolproof as it gets.

07:51:14.000 It's better than a lot of the wired systems.

07:51:15.000 It's easier.

07:51:16.000 I moved into a house with a wired system.

07:51:17.000 I stopped using it.

07:51:18.000 I use SimplySafe.

07:51:19.000 If you don't want home security, don't get it.

07:51:20.000 If you get it, Get SimpliSafe.

07:51:22.000 It's the best one.

07:51:23.000 It's the least expensive one.

07:51:24.000 It's the most convenient one.

07:51:26.000 SimpliSafe.com slash Crowder to save 10%.

07:51:27.000 Here's a commercial for it.

07:51:28.000 I have to pee really bad.

07:51:29.000 Yeah, I'm telling you, the SimpliSafe system is great.

07:51:29.000 I'll be right back.

07:51:34.000 It covers a whole house 24-7.

07:51:34.000 - I was 24/7, it's the, yes, it's the one that got the award from CNET. - - Now there are no other people for this dollar, just $50. - - - - - Yeah. - Now I'm telling you, the SimpliSafe is incredible.

07:51:53.000 It detects everything.

07:51:54.000 I got motion sensors, glass break... Okay, SimpliSafe.

07:51:58.000 I'll get the message.

07:51:59.000 There's no place around here for a guard dog anymore.

07:52:02.000 I hear you loud and clear.

07:52:06.000 Of all the guard dog-ed homes in the world, you had to walk into mine. 0.93

07:52:13.000 Take care of my boy, Hooman.

07:52:15.000 He likes it when you lay with him on the couch after the Thursday livestream.

07:52:20.000 And he likes to take walks.

07:52:23.000 And he likes it when you throw trash all over the house when he's not home.

07:52:26.000 That's why I did it.

07:52:28.000 You win Simply Safe!

07:52:30.000 You win!

07:52:32.000 Hello there!

07:52:56.000 Who are you?

07:52:57.000 Who are you in my car? 0.99

07:52:58.000 I'm your not gay Jared on a shelf. 1.00

07:52:59.000 I come complimentary with every Mug Club sign up, now through the new year. 0.85

07:53:03.000 But I already am a Mug Club member.

07:53:04.000 I did join the Mug Club.

07:53:05.000 Thought I'd come free of charge.

07:53:07.000 I don't want you complimentary.

07:53:09.000 No, I don't want you at all.

07:53:10.000 Be that as it may, I'm still here to tell you about the Mug Club. 0.97

07:53:14.000 $69 for students and vets.

07:53:14.000 $99 annually.

07:53:16.000 Gives you access to all of Lotter Earth Crowder's daily content.

07:53:20.000 And all of CRTV's content, including Mark Levin, Mark Stein, and Michelle Malkin.

07:53:25.000 How did you get in here in the first place?

07:53:28.000 Slim Jim.

07:53:32.000 No, wait, wait.

07:53:37.000 We are Santa's elves!

07:53:56.000 We are Santa's elves!

07:53:57.000 Oh, Mama, how can I eat with all that racket?

07:54:01.000 Eat, Santa!

07:54:03.000 They're singing for you!

07:54:05.000 Oh, those elves won't ever shut the hell up! 0.99

07:54:08.000 Santa!

07:54:09.000 The language in front of the elves! 1.00

07:54:12.000 Oh, shut up, you old ungrateful bitch! 1.00

07:54:14.000 You'll never love me anyway. 1.00

07:54:16.000 We are set.

07:54:18.000 We are set.

07:54:39.000 What are you doing here?

07:54:42.000 It's the middle of the night!

07:54:44.000 Good evening, Jared.

07:54:46.000 I heard that you were in need of a guard dog services.

07:54:49.000 And I would like to... Son of a...

07:54:56.000 And we are back with more hell. 0.99

07:55:15.000 Just lots more suffering.

07:55:18.000 Before we do anything else, hold on a second.

07:55:19.000 Pence, Plod, Defense, Trump, Time.

07:55:21.000 Oh, I thought it was breaking news.

07:55:22.000 All right.

07:55:22.000 Thank you so much to everyone who's still been supporting Mug Club.

07:55:24.000 This is the only reason we're able to do this.

07:55:25.000 I know this seems like an exercise in futility.

07:55:27.000 The only reason...

07:55:27.000 It's not fun.

07:55:29.000 Who's talking?

07:55:30.000 Oh, it's CNN.

07:55:30.000 Pence.

07:55:31.000 I forgot we still had to watch this shit. - That's it. 1.00

07:55:35.000 Um, sorry, pardon me, pardon the- it is- this is really bad.

07:55:38.000 This is torture.

07:55:39.000 Now, you don't have- you don't have to sit here, so you don't have to pay attention to CNN much.

07:55:42.000 I see you kind of zoning out sometimes.

07:55:44.000 Still pretty bad.

07:55:45.000 It's awful.

07:55:46.000 It's awful for like the- it's awful if you're doing this, focusing for 16 hours.

07:55:49.000 It's awful if you catch 30 seconds in the airport.

07:55:51.000 It's just awful.

07:55:53.000 By the way, I just didn't have time for coffee, so I got one of these energy pack things.

07:55:55.000 Those are pretty good.

07:55:56.000 It's a Celsius stuff.

07:55:56.000 They're not bad.

07:55:58.000 We need an energy-packed sponsor.

07:56:00.000 Anyway, we are going to have... Who else do we have on the schedule here?

07:56:04.000 Coming up soon, we have Joyvilla, Matt Iseman, Kevin Sorbo, Clint Howard, Ben Shapiro, Andrew Klaven, Dean Cain...

07:56:17.000 Wow!

07:56:17.000 That's a yummy list.

07:56:18.000 There's a yummy, yummy list, especially Dean Cain.

07:56:22.000 Let's split the difference with these lights here, Sound Guy Edward, because I know we brightened up those kind of... They were dimmer before, and then I was stupid, and let's just put them in between the two, because it hurts my... The light, dude!

07:56:32.000 It hurts my eyes!

07:56:34.000 You try watching CNN for 16 hours.

07:56:37.000 We're here.

07:56:38.000 You wouldn't do it.

07:56:38.000 We're all here.

07:56:39.000 That's why we're here.

07:56:40.000 Come prime time, this is going to get pretty, like I said, pretty wild and wooly.

07:56:43.000 Right now, Pence lobs, defends Trump time and time again.

07:56:46.000 How is this a news issue?

07:56:48.000 The vice president defends and praises the president.

07:56:53.000 Just in.

07:56:56.000 No, this is not new.

07:56:57.000 This is not new.

07:56:59.000 Bannon said this a long time ago.

07:57:00.000 Sun Computer, someone bring this up.

07:57:02.000 I've read this from Bannon many, many times.

07:57:05.000 He was not a fan of George W. Bush.

07:57:08.000 Someone bring this up here. 0.99

07:57:11.000 Bush, Bannon, I'm searching this.

07:57:12.000 It amazes me that they're saying this is just in.

07:57:18.000 So here's one thing.

07:57:19.000 You can say Bannon doesn't like Bush 43.

07:57:21.000 What you can't say is that it's just in.

07:57:24.000 It's like you can tell me, hey, here's some, if you have four-year-old chocolate chip cookies.

07:57:24.000 Just in.

07:57:31.000 You can say, hey, I got some cookies.

07:57:33.000 Fine.

07:57:34.000 What you can't say is, I have freshly baked cookies.

07:57:37.000 It's as if they have three public graphics.

07:57:40.000 They have Breaking News, Justin, and Developing.

07:57:43.000 And they just kind of roll the dice which one comes up for each story.

07:57:45.000 Like, ah, we haven't used Justin in a little while.

07:57:49.000 I think Sven said he found one.

07:57:52.000 Alright, let's get Sven.

07:57:54.000 Let us know when you have that overlay ready.

07:57:56.000 Alright, he has it ready.

07:57:57.000 Are you ready?

07:57:58.000 It's just like a Slade article.

07:57:58.000 I think it's just this.

07:58:00.000 Okay, it's a Slade article.

07:58:01.000 Sven said that George W. Bush's presidency was the most... Hold on, can we hear Sven?

07:58:04.000 Can we hear Sven?

07:58:05.000 Can you hear him, Jared?

07:58:05.000 Yeah, now we can hear him.

07:58:06.000 Yes.

07:58:06.000 Okay, Sven Computer, what is the truth?

07:58:09.000 I know that I've heard this quote from Bannon before, that it's not just in, as CNN is saying.

07:58:12.000 Well, he said that George W. Bush's presidency was the most destructive in history.

07:58:17.000 Yeah, well right now it says just in.

07:58:18.000 So go to the screen, Matt Gage here.

07:58:21.000 It says just in.

07:58:22.000 Report Bannon calls Bush 14 residency most destructive.

07:58:26.000 Just in.

07:58:28.000 There has not been a more destructive presidency than George Bush's.

07:58:31.000 This is in October?

07:58:32.000 Yes.

07:58:33.000 Yes.

07:58:33.000 Alright Sven, you know what that means.

07:58:33.000 From Bannon?

07:58:34.000 Add that to the BS list.

07:58:35.000 Let's add this to the BS list.

07:58:37.000 Let's add this to the CNBS list.

07:58:38.000 We're gonna go back over it at the end of the show.

07:58:41.000 I would say just in, when it's from October, it would count.

07:58:46.000 No?

07:58:47.000 Can we submit this list to Santa as just like a hit list?

07:58:51.000 A hit list.

07:58:51.000 When we're done with all this, say, hey, Santa.

07:58:54.000 You asking Chris Kringle to commit an act of domestic terrorism against CNN?

07:59:00.000 Yes.

07:59:01.000 Soon, House to vote to keep government running.

07:59:02.000 I feel like he'd get off.

07:59:03.000 Soon, House to vote to keep government running.

07:59:06.000 And another commercial break.

07:59:08.000 I've been doing this for 16 hours.

07:59:09.000 I took a 20 minute break for lunch and three pee breaks.

07:59:13.000 They've just taken, I just came back from my urination break and it's a constant commercial.

07:59:17.000 And it's Liberty Mutual.

07:59:20.000 Always with the Liberty Mutual.

07:59:22.000 And I keep, who's this broad yawning?

07:59:24.000 I see this commercial all the time on here.

07:59:26.000 Tyler PM.

07:59:27.000 Tyler PM, ah.

07:59:29.000 There you go.

07:59:30.000 We could use some of that right now.

07:59:30.000 Oh my gosh.

07:59:32.000 Well, here's the thing.

07:59:33.000 Right now I'm still trying to stay caffeinated and alert.

07:59:35.000 When we switch to beer, this is gonna be a free-for-all.

07:59:37.000 This is gonna go downhill so fast.

07:59:41.000 I really hope you guys understand.

07:59:43.000 Oh wait, hold on one second.

07:59:44.000 There's an old, there's a member, okay?

07:59:44.000 I do have something.

07:59:47.000 Jim Jackson, who just joined Mug Club today.

07:59:50.000 He's 70 years old and got our Twitter account to tweet me in hopes of getting mentioned.

07:59:55.000 Jim Jackson.

07:59:56.000 Jim, if you're watching, I can't find your Twitter right now while I'm live on air, but I did get this message from CRTV Customer Service.

08:00:04.000 Thank you so much for joining Mug Club.

08:00:07.000 We appreciate it.

08:00:08.000 Hey, Jim Jackson.

08:00:10.000 Jim Jackson.

08:00:12.000 Seventy-year-old Jim Jackson.

08:00:12.000 Jim Jackson.

08:00:14.000 Every time Jim Jackson joins Mug Club, an army of Christian angels maul Muhammad in hell from heaven. 0.99

08:00:22.000 They just do it with arrows because they wouldn't, they don't get their hands dirty.

08:00:25.000 They don't have passports.

08:00:26.000 Muhammad's in hell, have you heard? 1.00

08:00:28.000 That's kind of the general consensus.

08:00:29.000 It hasn't been on breaking news.

08:00:30.000 It hasn't been on breaking news.

08:00:31.000 It's developing.

08:00:32.000 It's developing, Kyra.

08:00:37.000 This is going to get really interesting when we're just passed out from all the alcohol and exhaustion.

08:00:41.000 Spirit, how can we bear it?

08:00:43.000 I'm sitting there.

08:00:43.000 I just can't.

08:00:44.000 This is a good example of what happens with the morning pitch on this show.

08:00:50.000 So you see the show every night.

08:00:51.000 Those who are Mug Club members, livewithcrowder.com slash mug club.

08:00:54.000 So on YouTube, we're just watching clips, right?

08:00:54.000 It's a nightly show.

08:00:56.000 And you see the full show Thursday.

08:00:57.000 But there's a full show every single day.

08:00:59.000 So we do the same pitch every single day, whether it's Monday or Thursday, OK?

08:01:03.000 And I go in and I go, I was watching CNN this morning and it said just in, Steve Bannon says George W. Bush was the most destructive presidency in history.

08:01:13.000 Or Bush 43, most destructive presidency in history.

08:01:15.000 And I'll say, I know that's not true because I read that months ago.

08:01:18.000 Please, one of you get an overlay for that.

08:01:20.000 And then either Sven or Reg, who's brilliant and scary, gets an overlay for it.

08:01:25.000 Like Aladdin.

08:01:25.000 When they were saying Aladdin was cultural appropriation, I went into red.

08:01:27.000 I said, I said, I just cultural appropriation.

08:01:30.000 I know that the original Aladdin was a story of like a like a Chinese shoesmith or tailor or something.

08:01:35.000 It's like when your mom shares Numa Numa on Facebook, you're like, like it's brand new.

08:01:39.000 Mom, mom, this is this is not new.

08:01:39.000 Right.

08:01:41.000 This is I've seen it's great video.

08:01:43.000 That guy's since killed himself.

08:01:45.000 He's dead. 0.68

08:01:46.000 Mom, he's dead.

08:01:47.000 So dead.

08:01:47.000 He died of a coronary years ago.

08:01:49.000 But the point is, that's the daily pitch, right?

08:01:52.000 I think I know, and even Reg went to me, he went back, he goes, how do you, how did you remember that Aladdin was a Chinese tailor?

08:01:57.000 I've been, this is all I've done my whole life is be filled with rage at lies.

08:01:57.000 I'm like, I don't know.

08:02:02.000 It's crazy to me too, is it's, Now, we know the production obviously takes some time, but they are news, so you'd figure they had that part figured out.

08:02:10.000 We figure out news faster on Twitter and are more on top of things than they are running the same rehearsed stuff over and over and over again.

08:02:19.000 Oh, a new story.

08:02:20.000 I told you, this is on the front page earlier.

08:02:24.000 Breaking.

08:02:27.000 No, it's not.

08:02:30.000 Oh! 0.60

08:02:30.000 5 out of 10. 0.60

08:02:31.000 Oh, Brooke Baldwin shoots at very specific angles, which now makes sense.

08:02:35.000 I hate to say it.

08:02:37.000 I hate to say it.

08:02:39.000 But she's not the Brooke Waldwin she presents herself to be. 0.99

08:02:43.000 Ad hominem, you bet your ass it's ad hominem because Mug Club. 0.99

08:02:46.000 Because no sponsor can drop us and Walther won't because they have balls. 0.99

08:02:49.000 Right? 0.99

08:02:50.000 Big balls. 0.99

08:02:51.000 Big, brassy Walther balls. 0.99

08:02:52.000 Half German because they're still made here. 0.96

08:02:54.000 That's true.

08:02:56.000 That's true.

08:02:57.000 So this is right now.

08:02:58.000 Now we're moved on to talking about engagement.

08:03:01.000 Listen, if it seems like, why are you doing this?

08:03:02.000 Why are you talking about Pointless?

08:03:04.000 The whole idea here is, it's actually an exercise in psychology.

08:03:08.000 Have you ever gone to a psychologist or a therapist?

08:03:10.000 No.

08:03:11.000 Well, they teach you something called mirroring, particularly in relationships.

08:03:14.000 And you don't want to mirror if someone's really upset or angry, right?

08:03:17.000 Obviously, you don't just want to scream back.

08:03:18.000 But if someone is intense or someone is happy or someone is very clearly displaying an emotion.

08:03:22.000 I learned about this in Mindhunter.

08:03:24.000 He said, match his body language.

08:03:25.000 OK, so mirror.

08:03:26.000 Yeah.

08:03:27.000 So what we're doing is we're mirroring CNN to a degree today. 1.00

08:03:31.000 How stupid is CNN? 1.00

08:03:34.000 This stupid. 1.00

08:03:35.000 Coffee beans in my sternum stupid. 1.00

08:03:37.000 Buttons, not snaps. 1.00

08:03:38.000 Yeah, I know.

08:03:39.000 These are snaps.

08:03:40.000 These are buttons.

08:03:40.000 These are buttons?

08:03:41.000 By the way, Crystal Heath is watching.

08:03:42.000 She said you look funny, but they're not footie pajamas.

08:03:45.000 They're not.

08:03:45.000 I got it shafted.

08:03:46.000 I gotta bring my own.

08:03:47.000 We have to get everyone custom footies. 0.82

08:03:49.000 Footies not included.

08:03:50.000 I'm gonna, like, I remember everyone gave, uh, gave, uh, Pajama Boy a bunch of flack for that, you know, Obama commercial talking about Obamacare, but I'm not gonna lie.

08:03:56.000 Which one's Pajama Boy?

08:03:57.000 You don't know Pajama Boy?

08:03:59.000 Pajama Boy was a famous meme.

08:04:01.000 It was a grown-ass man with a mug of hot cocoa.

08:04:03.000 People say I look like him, right? 0.63

08:04:04.000 That guy with the glasses?

08:04:05.000 Yeah, but you don't.

08:04:06.000 He looks more like the guy from Big Bang who was Rust when he was a kid.

08:04:09.000 I hate that show.

08:04:10.000 It's the worst show that's ever existed.

08:04:14.000 The point is, I disliked him because he wanted to talk about Obamacare over hot cocoa.

08:04:19.000 Not because of the pajamas.

08:04:20.000 I think that was a missed opportunity from conservatives.

08:04:22.000 What's wrong with pajamas?

08:04:23.000 What's wrong with footie pajamas? 0.80

08:04:25.000 You could try shot 6 over there too.

08:04:26.000 Aaron's got the hand cam.

08:04:28.000 Oh, Aaron the intern has the hand cam.

08:04:30.000 He's out of his pink bunny nightmare costume.

08:04:32.000 Look at that.

08:04:34.000 Look at this.

08:04:35.000 Oh, he can zoom too.

08:04:38.000 Oh no, it's Jake Tapper!

08:04:41.000 Can someone bring up when Jake Tapper specifically went after me?

08:04:45.000 Can someone bring this up?

08:04:50.000 Let me bring this up.

08:04:51.000 Let me find it.

08:04:52.000 I want to say that was, like, six months ago.

08:04:57.000 What's this?

08:04:57.000 I see a door opening.

08:05:00.000 The studio door is opening.

08:05:02.000 Is that Gerald coming back?

08:05:04.000 But Jake Tapper got really mad.

08:05:05.000 I don't remember what it was, but I remember he was wrong.

08:05:07.000 And I remember I really kind of thought I respected Jake Tapper before the CNN thing.

08:05:11.000 People said, well, he generally shoots it straight, straight down the middle.

08:05:14.000 And he doesn't now.

08:05:15.000 We all know that that's completely untrue with Jake Tapper.

08:05:17.000 I don't remember what it was, though.

08:05:19.000 He said something, and he was quoting somebody.

08:05:23.000 And we were very specific in saying that he was quoting somebody, but he still was grilling a guy.

08:05:29.000 It was something that was unfair and was biased.

08:05:30.000 I don't remember exactly what it was.

08:05:31.000 I'll have to find it.

08:05:32.000 I'm sure Courtney can find it for me.

08:05:34.000 Um... I need to find it.

08:05:38.000 It was Ladder with Crowd or something.

08:05:39.000 What are you looking at?

08:05:42.000 Anyway, someone can find it.

08:05:43.000 I'm sure Sven, someone can find it here.

08:05:45.000 Uh, no.

08:05:47.000 Shotgun might be useful now.

08:05:50.000 This could be a good thing.

08:05:54.000 Okay.

08:05:55.000 CNN poll.

08:05:56.000 47% approve Mueller's handling of Russia probe.

08:05:59.000 I guess that's kind of breaking news.

08:06:01.000 It's a CNN poll, by the way.

08:06:02.000 So here's what happened.

08:06:03.000 Like, man.

08:06:05.000 Hashtag CrowderCNN livestream is really carving us up.

08:06:08.000 We're just recycling the same stories, acting as though it's new.

08:06:10.000 Let's get- Quick! 0.99

08:06:11.000 Update the Russian investigation branding!

08:06:13.000 Let's get Fat Bela Lugosi on it.

08:06:13.000 Quick!

08:06:16.000 Let's get Fat Bela Lugosi with Harry Potter glasses. 0.99

08:06:18.000 Ad Hominem, you bet your ass we're marrying CNN. 1.00

08:06:20.000 So now, they're breaking news with a new poll. 0.98

08:06:23.000 Okay?

08:06:24.000 Is it Pew Research?

08:06:25.000 Is it Rasmussen?

08:06:25.000 No.

08:06:27.000 Is it AP?

08:06:27.000 No.

08:06:28.000 No.

08:06:28.000 It's a new CNN poll!

08:06:30.000 What happens is there's nothing in the news, so they call up a few people who still have landlines.

08:06:35.000 They threw up a Twitter poll.

08:06:36.000 Do you like Mueller's approach after we've been reporting all day about how awesome he is and Donald Trump might fire him?

08:06:42.000 Target only fans.

08:06:44.000 Target people who like Wolf Blitzer's Facebook page.

08:06:48.000 Well, that really narrows it down.

08:06:49.000 I think there's 4,000 people.

08:06:51.000 Is that enough of a sample size?

08:06:52.000 Let me call Monmouth.

08:06:54.000 Yeah, but it's enough of a sample size.

08:06:56.000 His mom created that many Facebook pages?

08:06:59.000 I have no idea.

08:07:00.000 His mom created that many accounts.

08:07:02.000 Oh, jeez!

08:07:03.000 Oh, careful!

08:07:04.000 Oh, no!

08:07:04.000 It appears that there was a Dickens singer who just slammed into our arcade machine.

08:07:09.000 This is news to me.

08:07:10.000 I don't know what's happening here.

08:07:12.000 Hello!

08:07:14.000 Hello, who are you?

08:07:15.000 Good King Wenceslaw stood out on the Feast of Stephen, where the snow lay round about, deep and crisp and even, brightly shone the moon that night.

08:07:30.000 Though the frost was cruel, When a poor man came in sight, Gathering winter fuel.

08:07:44.000 Hither, page, and stand by me!

08:07:46.000 If thou know'st it telling, Yonder peasant, who is he?

08:07:53.000 Where and what his dwelling?

08:07:55.000 Sire, he lives a goodly hence Underneath the mountain, Right against the forest fence, By St.

08:08:05.000 Agnes' fountain.

08:08:11.000 Bring me flesh and bring me wine, bring me pine logs hither. 0.86

08:08:17.000 Thou and I will see him dine when we bear them thither.

08:08:24.000 Page and Moloch, forth they went, forth they went together.

08:08:30.000 Bravo!

08:08:31.000 Wild winds, wild moment.

08:08:35.000 Wild moment, the weather.

08:08:41.000 Bravo!

08:08:44.000 Woo! 0.99

08:08:46.000 Oh, I keep going?

08:08:47.000 I don't want to interrupt you.

08:08:47.000 Is that okay?

08:08:48.000 No, you're the weather.

08:08:49.000 How are you?

08:08:50.000 I am doing well.

08:08:51.000 Now, this is... I was not aware of... So, how do I introduce myself to you?

08:08:56.000 Nice to meet you, Stephen.

08:08:56.000 I am Stephen.

08:08:57.000 And we're the carolers!

08:08:58.000 You are the carolers.

08:08:59.000 Yes, we are.

08:08:59.000 Okay.

08:09:00.000 And do you do this every year?

08:09:02.000 Yes, we do.

08:09:03.000 Is this the only thing you do every year?

08:09:04.000 Do you sing full-time when not doing the caroling?

08:09:07.000 No, also professional opera singers and, you know, sing around.

08:09:10.000 Okay, well that explains it.

08:09:11.000 When Nat Geager and I have to do a parody, he's terrible and so am I. And one of us is like, we need to get a good singer to do this.

08:09:18.000 Let's get their card.

08:09:20.000 Do they have more songs?

08:09:20.000 Jared.

08:09:21.000 I don't want to interrupt.

08:09:23.000 Continue if you can.

08:09:24.000 Let's not do Carol of the Bells.

08:09:25.000 Okay, which one?

08:09:26.000 Oh Holy Night.

08:09:26.000 Okay.

08:09:27.000 You don't like Carol of the Bells?

08:09:28.000 Okay, I like Oh Holy Night.

08:09:29.000 Well we can, it's just that, that's okay.

08:09:31.000 No, it's, no.

08:09:31.000 It's hard?

08:09:33.000 No, missing a part.

08:09:35.000 What's your favorite Carol?

08:09:36.000 What is my favorite Carol?

08:09:37.000 That's a good question.

08:09:38.000 Well it's funny because we're talking about how we like Carol of the Bells because of the Home Alone thing, but I will say Oh Holy Night and I also really like Oh Come All Ye Faithful.

08:09:46.000 Those are probably my favorites.

08:09:48.000 So Oh Holy Night, Oh Come All Ye Faithful, I like them.

08:09:49.000 And I bet you got a great voice for it.

08:09:51.000 They should have had you do Bing Crosby in The White Christmas.

08:09:53.000 Did you see the play this year?

08:09:55.000 Oh yeah, I love it, love it.

08:09:56.000 You would have been better though because you're a bass.

08:09:58.000 The guy was like soprano almost.

08:10:00.000 But I have a piece for radio.

08:10:02.000 Oh, come on now. 0.98

08:10:04.000 I have a face for radio, it hasn't stopped me, nor any of these schlubs. 1.00

08:10:07.000 Look at him, he's got a computer for a head.

08:10:11.000 Alright, I won't interrupt you.

08:10:12.000 Thank you so much, this is a nice break for me.

08:10:18.000 Thank you, guys.

08:10:19.000 O come, O ye faithful, joyful and triumphant.

08:10:19.000 This was a pleasant surprise.

08:10:28.000 O come ye, O come ye to Bethlehem.

08:10:37.000 Come and behold him, born the King of angels.

08:10:45.000 O come, let us adore him.

08:11:01.000 Christ the Lord.

08:11:06.000 Sing, vials of angels.

08:11:10.000 Sing in exultation.

08:11:15.000 Sing, all ye citizens of heaven above.

08:11:22.000 Glory to God in the highest.

08:11:30.000 O come, let us adore him.

08:11:33.000 Oh, come let us adore him.

08:11:39.000 Oh, come let us adore him.

08:11:45.000 Christ the Lord.

08:11:52.000 Very nice.

08:11:54.000 Very nice.

08:11:55.000 Thank you.

08:11:56.000 Fantastic.

08:11:56.000 Thank you.

08:11:57.000 And you Daniel Day-Lewis-ed it.

08:11:58.000 You stayed in character.

08:11:59.000 Really quickly, I have to use it as a plug.

08:12:00.000 If you guys want to see more Carol... See, these, they don't come cheap, because this is actually what they do for... You earn a living doing this, right?

08:12:06.000 And we earn a living hiring people like this who earn a living.

08:12:09.000 So, lionwealthcreditor.com slash MugClub.

08:12:11.000 Thank you so much.

08:12:11.000 That was very... Now, who put this together?

08:12:14.000 I'm the leader, and this group is called Collins Classic Carolers, and they've been singing since 1985 together.

08:12:21.000 Not the same people, but... Well, I mean, who put together the surprise?

08:12:24.000 I had no idea you were coming.

08:12:26.000 Well, we were.

08:12:26.000 Oh, Darren!

08:12:27.000 Darren and Hilaria.

08:12:28.000 Very nice!

08:12:28.000 Darren and Hilaria.

08:12:29.000 This is fantastic.

08:12:30.000 Now, how long do we have them here for?

08:12:31.000 Do we just keep...

08:12:32.000 I think one more number?

08:12:33.000 One more number.

08:12:34.000 Let's throw to Twitter, if you don't mind, if you can wait about one minute.

08:12:34.000 Okay, hold on a second.

08:12:38.000 And what song do you want to hear them sing on Twitter most?

08:12:43.000 Okay, this is hashtag CrowderCNN livestream.

08:12:45.000 I don't know if I've told you, I've been watching CNN for 16 hours straight.

08:12:48.000 And I'm very exhausted.

08:12:50.000 So I'm going to check on Twitter right now.

08:12:52.000 And people, by the way, very complimentary.

08:12:54.000 People saying that you are incredible.

08:12:57.000 So, uh, there are a lot of people.

08:12:59.000 Let's see, hold on.

08:13:00.000 It's almost too many compliments for me to get through.

08:13:02.000 The SuddenKalers is making my day, to be honest, said LittleSnowNinja.

08:13:05.000 They sound great.

08:13:06.000 Do you know the Grinch by chance?

08:13:12.000 No, it's not very Dickens-y.

08:13:13.000 Thank you, it was emotional.

08:13:15.000 Can the acapella piano man next?

08:13:17.000 Listen!

08:13:18.000 Guys!

08:13:18.000 Come on!

08:13:19.000 Come on, give us a real Christmas song, Twitter!

08:13:22.000 They're screwing around with me.

08:13:24.000 We have half a million people on Twitter, and everyone wants to be the comedian.

08:13:28.000 We have these world-class singers here, give us a Christmas song.

08:13:31.000 Okay, someone said we have several votes now for either Heart the Herald Angels Sing or Silent Night.

08:13:37.000 Which one would you prefer?

08:13:39.000 I like Hark the Herald Angels Sing.

08:13:42.000 I like Silent Night.

08:13:44.000 You like Silent Night?

08:13:44.000 Really?

08:13:46.000 It's German, so it's appropriate. 1.00

08:13:47.000 Oh wait, is Silent Night a German song, Sven Computer?

08:13:49.000 We can sing it in German!

08:13:53.000 And I can't hear you, Sven Computer.

08:13:55.000 Okay, thank you.

08:13:56.000 Now shut off his mic.

08:13:57.000 Alright, Silent Night, is that what we're going to do?

08:14:00.000 German, then English?

08:14:01.000 Sure.

08:14:02.000 This is actually Sven Computer.

08:14:02.000 Well, you know, he's German.

08:14:04.000 He is German.

08:14:04.000 He is here on a J-Visa.

08:14:07.000 We had an application process for the show, over 500 applicants, and we got him over here.

08:14:12.000 And a very, very bright young man.

08:14:14.000 Hence, he's a neural net processor, a learning computer, and I'm sure he'd love to hear the German.

08:14:18.000 Okay.

08:14:19.000 I'd love to hear it.

08:14:20.000 I just couldn't sing along.

08:14:21.000 Okay.

08:14:22.000 Okay.

08:14:22.000 Beep, beep, boop.

08:14:23.000 That's fine.

08:14:23.000 Beep.

08:14:24.000 I was there showing nuggets over.

08:14:26.000 Maybe 50 bucks there. - Geez, I don't know what's happening.

08:14:30.000 This could just be a military takeover.

08:14:31.000 That's exactly what it is.

08:14:32.000 Okay.

08:14:32.000 All right.

08:14:33.000 Silent Night.

08:14:33.000 could be a military takeover of our program and I have no idea.

08:14:36.000 That's exactly what it is.

08:14:38.000 All right.

08:14:39.000 Okay.

08:14:40.000 I'm eager.

08:14:40.000 Silent Night.

08:14:41.000 I'm eager.

08:14:41.000 Stille Nacht.

08:14:47.000 Heilige Nacht.

08:14:52.000 Aller schläft einsam walt.

08:15:02.000 Nur das Strat, o Heilige Par.

08:15:11.000 Holde knabre im lopigen hart.

08:15:21.000 Schlaf in hirische Ruh.

08:15:31.000 Schlaf in hirische Ruh.

08:15:40.000 Silent Night.

08:15:46.000 Holy Night.

08:15:51.000 All is calm on.

08:15:59.000 All is bright, round yon virgin, mother and child. 0.82

08:16:13.000 Holy infant, so tender and mild.

08:16:23.000 Sleep in heavenly peace.

08:16:34.000 Sleep in heavenly peace.

08:16:44.000 Wow, that was fantastic.

08:16:47.000 Unbelievable.

08:16:48.000 And you speak German fluently, or just enough to be dangerous? 1.00

08:16:52.000 Just a little bit.

08:16:53.000 That was very impressive.

08:16:55.000 And by the way, I don't say that lightly.

08:16:57.000 I mean, that was unbelievable. 0.97

08:16:59.000 Because we had a Dickens caroling group at my church, and they just sucked. 0.98

08:17:04.000 They were really bad.

08:17:06.000 And my mother-in-law, to give you an example, my mother-in-law sang backup. 0.99

08:17:10.000 She toured with Aretha Franklin, Joni Mitchell, the Grateful Dead, Stevie Nicks for about 25 years.

08:17:17.000 And she was just texting me how great you guys were.

08:17:21.000 Because it doesn't mean anything for me.

08:17:22.000 I'm a comic, right?

08:17:23.000 I'm like, it sounds good to me, because I go jingle bells, Batman smells.

08:17:29.000 That was incredible.

08:17:30.000 So we have them for three songs.

08:17:31.000 They have to get going.

08:17:32.000 They probably have no idea 15,000 people are watching.

08:17:33.000 They have no idea 15,000 people are watching as we speak.

08:17:35.000 Thank you.

08:17:36.000 Okay, well let me say goodbye.

08:17:37.000 By the way, this is just, don't worry, this is just my Walther, they're sponsors of the show.

08:17:40.000 What was your name, sir?

08:17:41.000 Scott.

08:17:42.000 Jackie.

08:17:43.000 And Ted.

08:17:43.000 Jackie.

08:17:44.000 Nice to meet you.

08:17:44.000 Scott, Jackie, and Ted.

08:17:45.000 Scott, Jackie, and Ted, everybody.

08:17:46.000 Give them a round of applause on the Twitter.

08:17:49.000 That was incredible.

08:17:51.000 That is amazing, Carolyn.

08:17:51.000 Truly.

08:17:53.000 Probably the best I've ever heard.

08:17:54.000 Merry Christmas.

08:17:54.000 Thank you.

08:17:55.000 Joy to the world, the Lord is come.

08:17:59.000 Let earth receive her King.

08:18:04.000 Let every heart prepare Him room.

08:18:09.000 Let the doorman receive them in the lobby.

08:18:15.000 They were really good.

08:18:16.000 Thank you guys.

08:18:17.000 That was a surprise.

08:18:18.000 I had no idea that this was coming down the pike. 0.96

08:18:21.000 And wow, they were really good.

08:18:23.000 And that wasn't as a joke.

08:18:24.000 There was a really bad carolers group from my church.

08:18:27.000 Why should I believe that 100%?

08:18:29.000 And I got in trouble for saying, guys, we shouldn't do this.

08:18:33.000 Like, why?

08:18:33.000 I was like, do you think Jesus wants to hear bad singing?

08:18:36.000 This is me when I was in youth group.

08:18:38.000 And I was saying it about myself because they asked me to join the caroling.

08:18:42.000 Kind of like if they would have asked me to join CNN back before I knew what I know now.

08:18:46.000 Like, would you really want to hack journalists on your trusted network?

08:18:50.000 You know, I mean, this is like when I was 12 years old or something.

08:18:52.000 And I said it at youth group.

08:18:53.000 I said, no, I don't want to go caroling.

08:18:55.000 And they said, why?

08:18:56.000 And I said, because it's offensive.

08:18:57.000 And they said, why?

08:18:58.000 I said, it's bad.

08:18:59.000 You really think Jesus wants to hear bad singing?

08:19:01.000 But I was saying it about myself as much as them, but I was still also saying it about them.

08:19:05.000 And I got in trouble.

08:19:06.000 I got called in from the youth pastor.

08:19:08.000 Point is, that was not that.

08:19:10.000 That was very good.

08:19:10.000 That was not that at all.

08:19:12.000 And very appropriately themed.

08:19:13.000 Very appropriately themed.

08:19:15.000 More YouTube Carol coming up.

08:19:16.000 I realized they probably had no idea that you're not Gay Jared, because when I said it I saw them go like, what?

08:19:21.000 What?

08:19:22.000 Listen, let's be honest.

08:19:23.000 It's a formal introduction.

08:19:24.000 Yes, when it comes to singing, caroling, the creative arts, there's probably a good chance that one of them was eyeing you and was disappointed.

08:19:30.000 Hey, at Sven Computer, remember I need to be able to hear you, how was the German?

08:19:34.000 The German was surprisingly good.

08:19:36.000 But I guess opera singers, beep beep, they're often from other countries, because there are a lot of German operas, beep beep, and they're often sung by foreign singers.

08:19:49.000 Really?

08:19:50.000 There aren't a lot of good German singers?

08:19:52.000 No, we're not that big of a nation, beep beep.

08:19:54.000 Yeah, but neither is Canada.

08:19:57.000 We have Shania Twain, Celine Dion, and so many comedians from Canada.

08:20:00.000 You ever notice that?

08:20:01.000 A lot of comedians.

08:20:02.000 Jim Carrey, Mike Myers, John Candy, Eugene Levy.

08:20:04.000 I mean it just goes on and on and on.

08:20:06.000 Yeah, but it's just like...

08:20:08.000 I mean, obviously there are a lot of German opera singers, but for some of the biggest pieces, like Mozart pieces, that would be Austrian by the way, but they just bring an outside talent if they need like a very good voice for this particular role.

08:20:22.000 So yeah.

08:20:23.000 Okay.

08:20:24.000 Well, a lot of people really liked them.

08:20:26.000 So that was a nice break for me, if only to sit and listen to music for three carols.

08:20:31.000 I don't want to go back now.

08:20:32.000 I don't want to look back.

08:20:33.000 I'm literally avoiding looking at a CNN screen.

08:20:35.000 And then there's just this.

08:20:36.000 It's a long-term reauthorization.

08:20:39.000 It doesn't touch the budget cap issue that will lead to sequestration, large cuts across the defense industry and other places as well.

08:20:47.000 It's not a long-term reauthorization of the Children's Health Association.

08:20:49.000 health insurance program.

08:20:50.000 People want a five-year reauthorization.

08:20:52.000 It's not a long-term reauthorization.

08:20:54.000 Right now, I have a news update on my iPad about CNN and about their poll.

08:21:00.000 It's an update everywhere.

08:21:02.000 Oh, gosh.

08:21:04.000 Thank you, Aaron the Intern, for filming the carolers.

08:21:06.000 That was very nice.

08:21:07.000 Now, by the way, apparently there are a lot of other unplanned events that I don't know about, so hopefully... Coffee Beans and My Sternum was unplanned.

08:21:14.000 Dare I say, I think it's more ethic.

08:21:16.000 Yeah, I would say that this was probably a little higher quality.

08:21:20.000 This was the most family-friendly of the following events.

08:21:23.000 All right, Dickensingers, Dickensingers, I'm looking at the schedule.

08:21:25.000 We have Joy Villa coming up soon.

08:21:26.000 We have Joy Villa coming up in not too long.

08:21:29.000 All right, well, I don't know what we're going to talk about with Joy Villa a ton, but we'll see what we can do.

08:21:34.000 Thank you, Aaron, the intern, for filming the Dickens Carolers.

08:21:36.000 He was the one with the handheld.

08:21:37.000 He did the MTV camera there.

08:21:39.000 Yeah, the MTV camera.

08:21:40.000 It gets us right in the action.

08:21:41.000 So here, I think... How do you...

08:21:47.000 Yeah, I don't know.

08:21:48.000 Someone sent me something about... Oh, okay.

08:21:51.000 Here's what happened with Jake Tapper.

08:21:52.000 I just sent it to you, Sven.

08:21:54.000 We took a meme that was clearly meant to be tongue-in-cheek, and he was like, that's a false description.

08:21:59.000 Read this.

08:22:01.000 That's the one.

08:22:01.000 And it was about him basically reading a story about proof of media and the DNC colluding against Trump.

08:22:07.000 So that's what it was.

08:22:08.000 That's why Jake Tapper's such a wiener.

08:22:10.000 Hashtag CrowderCNN livestream. 0.96

08:22:12.000 Go tell Jake Tapper he's a wiener. 0.57

08:22:14.000 He was a wiener because he got mad about a meme.

08:22:19.000 Okay, a special announcement from Mrs. Crowder, apparently.

08:22:21.000 I'm sorry, I'm in my casual wear today.

08:22:23.000 Okay.

08:22:25.000 We actually had a fourth caroler.

08:22:28.000 And this fourth caroler was in the green room.

08:22:32.000 A woman, of course.

08:22:33.000 I think I know where this is going.

08:22:34.000 Sobbing hysterically because she didn't know that this was singing for Stephen Crowder.

08:22:40.000 And she couldn't even handle it.

08:22:42.000 I'm so sorry, I'm so... I just can't... So your mom's in the green room?

08:22:48.000 No, my mom's not in the green room.

08:22:49.000 I thought it was because I was talking about... I thought, oh, because her mom is that way.

08:22:49.000 Oh, I thought it was your mom.

08:22:49.000 No!

08:22:53.000 Her mom is super emotional and sweet. 0.93

08:22:54.000 So, I'll tell you something that's really funny.

08:22:55.000 And she'll just be like, she'll just be like, I'm overwhelmed with emotion.

08:22:58.000 She's like an unbelievable singer. 0.97

08:22:59.000 So I thought, oh, no, did I spoil it by coming on the interval?

08:23:01.000 No, no, so I will tell you something that's really funny that happened.

08:23:03.000 So she's sitting there.

08:23:03.000 Okay.

08:23:04.000 Mrs. Kraut, everybody.

08:23:05.000 Hey! 0.99

08:23:06.000 So I'm sorry.

08:23:07.000 Every time Mrs. Crowder is on the stream, somebody says something incredibly inappropriate that's meant to be complimentary.

08:23:14.000 So we're in there, and of course she's weeping that she can't go on.

08:23:16.000 So they had to sing different songs, actually.

08:23:18.000 Because she hates me?

08:23:18.000 Because she hates you.

08:23:19.000 Yeah, she hates you.

08:23:20.000 The dude was actually a fan, though.

08:23:23.000 One of the dudes was like a huge fan, like, oh my gosh!

08:23:25.000 Was it me, or did you think it was because she was like touched because she likes the show?

08:23:27.000 No, no, no, no.

08:23:28.000 She was weeping because she hates you.

08:23:30.000 And so Darren and I are like, well, if you have an opinion, go in there and tell him.

08:23:34.000 If you disagree, go in there and tell him.

08:23:35.000 Of course, just like a liberal pansy, you know?

08:23:38.000 You know, it's all weeping, no talk.

08:23:40.000 This story took a weird turn.

08:23:42.000 So real quick.

08:23:42.000 So I know we've got all day, so I'll leave you be.

08:23:47.000 So then you were just talking about my mom and it's so funny because she said, I just can't, I can't, I can't endorse something like this.

08:23:56.000 And Darren goes, well, do you celebrate Christmas?

08:24:02.000 Well, I mean, it's kind of my job to, I mean, yes.

08:24:04.000 Are you a Christian?

08:24:05.000 No.

08:24:06.000 So she complies.

08:24:07.000 That went right over her head.

08:24:08.000 But then I start telling her, my mom's a big conservative, and she actually sang with Aretha Franklin at the inaugural ball for Bill Clinton, because that's what professionals do.

08:24:20.000 And... Your mom did?

08:24:22.000 Yeah, my mom sang.

08:24:23.000 That's right.

08:24:24.000 Because when you're a professional, that's what you do.

08:24:24.000 You know why?

08:24:26.000 Is she still in the green room?

08:24:28.000 Oh, no, no, no.

08:24:29.000 She wept her way out.

08:24:30.000 She's gone.

08:24:31.000 Yeah, she's gone. 0.87

08:24:32.000 So, anyway, Merry Christmas to our fourth weepy, wimpy, sad sack of women. 1.00

08:24:40.000 So, the guy, one of the guys was a fan.

08:24:42.000 One of the guys was a big fan.

08:24:43.000 What about the other two?

08:24:44.000 The other one was really sweet.

08:24:45.000 I'd imagine that's jarring.

08:24:46.000 The other one's really sweet.

08:24:47.000 I suspect he might have been a fig.

08:24:50.000 That's why I was saying that not K. Jarrett might have caught off guard.

08:24:56.000 So the reason I say that is because he started, like, when the girl was, like, she wept the entire time, still weeping, and your dad and I obviously, like, were very polite, but, like, come on, you know?

08:25:08.000 Your cat didn't die.

08:25:10.000 And so he, the fig, which I believe... Don't use that word, we don't know.

08:25:15.000 He embraced the weepy caroler.

08:25:20.000 And then, and then I'll leave in a second.

08:25:23.000 So then the caroler that's a fan, the other man, was saying how his college, his daughter in college is such a fan of you and oh my gosh I just told my kids I'm here and they can't even believe it and so... Know which man?

08:25:33.000 The guy that was closer to you, yeah.

08:25:33.000 The guy who was closest to me?

08:25:34.000 Okay.

08:25:35.000 And so... Well, come on, listen, let's be honest.

08:25:37.000 If you're gonna call, you know which one is... Go ahead.

08:25:39.000 So, um, as he's, uh, as he's saying this, and Weepy is standing at the door cowering, um, I, you know, your dad and I made sure to kind of discuss loudly- Just try and sound a little more empathetic.

08:25:51.000 This is traumatizing to her, right?

08:25:52.000 I'm sorry, I- She thought she just walked into Hitler's studio.

08:25:56.000 This isn't a safe space!

08:25:57.000 This isn't a safe space!

08:25:59.000 I don't like her knowing where the studio is.

08:26:01.000 Well, don't go into detail, but- I won't.

08:26:01.000 I know, me either.

08:26:03.000 I mean, I was gonna be like- No, stop it, stop it, stop speaking with that.

08:26:07.000 So anyway, I, sorry, I do feel bad for people that cry, but not for her.

08:26:12.000 That's all.

08:26:12.000 Is that it?

08:26:14.000 What happened?

08:26:14.000 What did the woman do?

08:26:15.000 She was just neutral?

08:26:16.000 The woman was just like neutral, being like, how I get my money. 1.00

08:26:20.000 So that, that's fair.

08:26:21.000 Well, she was white. 1.00

08:26:22.000 Yeah, I know.

08:26:22.000 Yeah, she was white.

08:26:23.000 So there was a, there was a, I don't know why you did that.

08:26:26.000 Oh yeah, that's true.

08:26:27.000 She's right.

08:26:28.000 But if I was asking for money, I'd probably be like, how do I get my money?

08:26:31.000 How do I get my money?

08:26:32.000 And that's why I married you.

08:26:34.000 So there were supposed to be four carolers.

08:26:35.000 There were supposed to be four carolers.

08:26:38.000 Hashtag CrowderCNN Livestream.

08:26:40.000 How many of you still pay for?

08:26:42.000 Oh, we haven't paid yet.

08:26:43.000 You are not going to pay for more than three carolers, Jared Metella.

08:26:46.000 Good.

08:26:47.000 Well, hold on a second.

08:26:48.000 Is it like, do you prorate it?

08:26:49.000 Or is it just a package deal?

08:26:50.000 I don't know.

08:26:52.000 Let her weep off the earth and decrease the surplus population. 1.00

08:26:54.000 Like I felt bad for like 10 seconds.

08:26:56.000 And then when we get, here's the thing, I felt bad for like 10 seconds, then we gave her the opportunity to come in here and make her case. 0.99

08:27:01.000 Cause I am all about woman empowerment.

08:27:03.000 Oh, you know, if she'd have come in here, I would have listened to her.

08:27:06.000 You would have been so polite.

08:27:07.000 Absolutely.

08:27:07.000 You would have been so polite.

08:27:08.000 Well, especially if you walked her in here. 0.99

08:27:09.000 If I just thought she was coming in to attack me, but if you just said, Hey, listen, this caroler doesn't agree with you.

08:27:14.000 Uh, she wanted to voice her opinion.

08:27:15.000 You know, not if she threw a glass of water on me, but people have seen the change my mind segments.

08:27:18.000 Absolutely!

08:27:19.000 I mean, in fairness, she's probably safer with you than with me in the green room.

08:27:22.000 Do you have any idea how many times I have performed for liberal audiences?

08:27:27.000 I know!

08:27:28.000 And liberal club owners as a stand-up comic?

08:27:30.000 You know why?

08:27:31.000 Because that's what professionals do. 1.00

08:27:32.000 She can never Can I say bitch? 1.00

08:27:35.000 No, don't say- You just did! 0.99

08:27:38.000 She can never complain about- Oh, she can never bitch in the verb. 1.00

08:27:41.000 Okay, I was like, that's not a character. 0.99

08:27:41.000 Yeah, she can never bitch. 0.99

08:27:42.000 You never name call. 0.96

08:27:43.000 No, I never name call. 0.99

08:27:44.000 I've never heard you call anyone a bitch in your life. 0.98

08:27:46.000 Never. 0.99

08:27:47.000 But I've heard you say, don't bitch about it. 1.00

08:27:48.000 Yeah, don't bitch about it. 1.00

08:27:49.000 But you can never- Complain about the gay cake baking. 1.00

08:27:49.000 Alright, that's why I'm surprised. 1.00

08:27:55.000 If you are not like she literally lost her gay cake baking card complaining. 0.99

08:28:00.000 She lost her gay cake baking card! 0.99

08:28:03.000 She did! 0.96

08:28:04.000 That's a popular card.

08:28:05.000 Trump's all the other ones.

08:28:06.000 So anyway, I was upset because we were really excited to bring you four carolers, and we had four special songs planned out, and... Oh, so that's why you said three?

08:28:16.000 Yeah.

08:28:16.000 I was like, how many songs do we have?

08:28:18.000 And you were like, oh, three.

08:28:19.000 And I was like, why are we... And, well, they had to change some of the different songs.

08:28:22.000 I was really disappointed.

08:28:22.000 I was really disappointed about that.

08:28:23.000 Why?

08:28:23.000 There were some songs that... Because there were songs that required another female.

08:28:23.000 Why?

08:28:27.000 And so she was busy.

08:28:28.000 That's why they said, we won't sing Carol of the Bells.

08:28:30.000 And I was like, oh, please sing Carol of the Bells.

08:28:33.000 They're like, now. 1.00

08:28:34.000 Because one of us thinks you're an asshole. 1.00

08:28:34.000 And they were like, no. 1.00

08:28:36.000 Right.

08:28:37.000 Okay.

08:28:38.000 For people who don't, by the way, thank you.

08:28:39.000 You're welcome.

08:28:39.000 Thank you.

08:28:40.000 Tell people watching right now, because they're just talking about VP Pence, surprise visit to Afghanistan, breaking news.

08:28:45.000 Whoa, stop the press.

08:28:47.000 For people watching, that's okay, I don't need to hear this right now.

08:28:51.000 We'll go back to it.

08:28:53.000 Jake Tapper's a wiener.

08:28:54.000 So, tell people how often this kind of, a lot of people don't understand how often this kind of thing happens, where we run into people who don't like us, or we become, you know, a part of a small group or something, and someone, and you find out someone is uncomfortable.

08:29:06.000 I mean, this isn't an isolated incident.

08:29:08.000 Yeah, and what's really funny, though, is you and I, I think we make a point to be, especially with strangers, very, very friendly, because that's the right thing to do, is to be really friendly to people, not apathetic.

08:29:20.000 So we really can make a point to be very friendly to people.

08:29:23.000 Okay, not counting Weepy in the green room, but we make a point to be... I'm sure you were probably friendlier to her than you're telling the story now.

08:29:30.000 No, oh my gosh, yeah, absolutely.

08:29:31.000 My wife, what happens is she's super, super nice, and then she gets mad, and then 30 minutes later she's telling the story.

08:29:35.000 So she tells the story, telling the rage she felt at the time. 0.65

08:29:37.000 Yeah, basically what happens is I'll be like, and then I murdered him, but really I just gave him a dirty look.

08:29:44.000 Right. 0.80

08:29:44.000 Like that's kind of my equivalent. 0.80

08:29:45.000 I thought for sure it was going to be your mom because you were saying like, oh, she was so touched, she would be weeping.

08:29:50.000 And I was like, yeah, because your mom would be touched if I were to talk about what a great singer she is.

08:29:53.000 So I thought, oh, I should have just not complimented her mom because then she would be able to sing. 0.99

08:29:57.000 And then you said she was crying and I, and I, I can't believe my instinct.

08:30:02.000 I made the connection, the connection immediately.

08:30:04.000 I thought like, I, at first I, and I thought like, wait, there's a split chance.

08:30:07.000 Cause she, it was nervous because she likes the show or was she, and you answered the question immediately.

08:30:07.000 Was she crying?

08:30:12.000 But back to the point you were making before, like usually when we got, you know, When we're talking to just, you know, strangers, we want to be overly friendly, we want to be really friendly.

08:30:20.000 And when someone figures out who you are and they don't like you, what's interesting is, like, we'll stay friendly with them, but all of a sudden they become really rude and abrasive.

08:30:30.000 And it's bizarre because, like, we weren't being rude and abrasive, but because they have this idea of who you are and they don't like your ideas, they become snotty and rude first.

08:30:39.000 Have you noticed that?

08:30:40.000 Well, I'm glad you didn't come in and see my Walther chastity belt.

08:30:43.000 It probably would have escalated things.

08:30:45.000 She would have walked in... Here's a question though.

08:30:47.000 If you're the other carolers, do you feel...

08:30:50.000 Are you upset by the situation of you being, you know, Nazi, Stephen Carter? 0.61

08:30:53.000 Or are you pissed off at her for leaving you hanging?

08:30:56.000 A good killer never leaves the singer behind!

08:30:58.000 Never leaves the singer behind.

08:30:59.000 No, I... I'd be pissed!

08:31:00.000 I'd be like... Get in there! 0.99

08:31:04.000 I don't give a rat's ass how you feel about his politics. 0.99

08:31:07.000 We're a quartet! 0.98

08:31:08.000 But he believes that people should be able to keep more than half after death of their state.

08:31:14.000 I will say the one thing that made me feel like even a little bit better, which then she like locked herself into the green room where we're.

08:31:30.000 Yeah, she, like, locked herself- She locked you out of my green room?

08:31:32.000 Yeah, and Darren and I are banging on the door, and she locks herself in the green room.

08:31:37.000 And then I'm like, okay, well, there's like 12 guns in there.

08:31:41.000 But she's never going to touch them because she's terrified if she looks at them, they're going to go off.

08:31:46.000 And so I'm kind of also feeling a little bit glad because she's traumatized enough, but we're going to hear even more PTSD by having her around the gun.

08:31:53.000 Do you have any idea the press release?

08:31:56.000 A caroler in full breaking news on the chyron, or developing a fully Dickens-era-dressed caroler blew her brains out in Steven Crowder's green room today when she was forced at gunpoint to perform Hark the Herald Angels Sing for the notorious troll artist.

08:32:13.000 It's just amazing to me. 0.97

08:32:14.000 And his Nazi dog. 0.75

08:32:15.000 Oh, God.

08:32:17.000 Okay, well, thank you, sweetheart.

08:32:18.000 You're welcome.

08:32:19.000 I appreciate it.

08:32:20.000 Thank you for trying.

08:32:20.000 Sorry I didn't get the fourth carrot.

08:32:21.000 Thank you very much.

08:32:22.000 Mrs. Crowder, everybody.

08:32:23.000 Hey, come on. 0.77

08:32:25.000 She gave it the old college try.

08:32:26.000 They were still great as a triplet.

08:32:28.000 Someone has been asking me, why do you keep wiggling your toes?

08:32:30.000 You know why?

08:32:31.000 It's because, first off, I have a sciatica thing.

08:32:35.000 Particularly so I have to wiggle my right toes.

08:32:38.000 And then I just kind of do both.

08:32:40.000 That's all.

08:32:41.000 And I haven't had much time for exercise today because I've been sitting in this chair, so I'm a little wiggly, I'm not going to lie.

08:32:45.000 I'm a little bit... I want to get the jitters out.

08:32:48.000 I get that really bad in my legs sometimes.

08:32:50.000 In fact, one time I went to sleep and I was like, oh, I need to sleep better.

08:32:53.000 So I took two Benadryl.

08:32:57.000 Turned out that had a reverse reaction.

08:32:58.000 I woke up with all the jitters in my legs.

08:32:59.000 Oh really?

08:33:00.000 Yeah.

08:33:01.000 I don't get restless leg.

08:33:03.000 It's become a habit because, you know, I have the herniated lower disc, or one of them's ruptured, one of them's herniated.

08:33:08.000 Anyways, so what happens is then, like, I get these stingers, so I got in the habit of moving my toes.

08:33:14.000 And so now I just happen to do it a lot, because when I'm sitting, I'm like, oh, just move my toes, make sure they're still there.

08:33:18.000 Sure.

08:33:19.000 Make sure my toes are still there, and they're still there, unlike the fourth caroler.

08:33:22.000 That's crazy to me.

08:33:24.000 Do we have Joyvilla on the phone?

08:33:25.000 Yeah, about 30 seconds out.

08:33:26.000 In about 30 seconds, okay.

08:33:27.000 Well, actually, it's a perfect time to bring on Joyvilla to ask her about that.

08:33:31.000 Yeah, has she ever been ditched by a, by a panty killer? 0.93

08:33:35.000 Yeah, I have no idea.

08:33:35.000 This is crazy to me that that would even occur.

08:33:41.000 So, David Barton, okay, then Joy Villa, then we have a break, and then, okay, that's, that's, I mean, here's one thing, too, people.

08:33:47.000 This is, when we talk about, no one really has a monopoly on tolerance. 0.98

08:33:50.000 I've met some, some conservatives, some Republicans who are asses, right? 0.99

08:33:50.000 That's the truth. 0.99

08:33:55.000 I'm not going to say that it's only liberals, but There is a skew.

08:34:00.000 There is absolutely a disproportionate, there is an imbalance of intolerance right now.

08:34:05.000 And it certainly comes from the left.

08:34:06.000 I mean, just look at the way they treated Santorum on CNN.

08:34:08.000 It's like a political bell curve if the bell had been left in the sun for like 3,000 years.

08:34:12.000 It's a little slouched.

08:34:13.000 You know what else, though?

08:34:14.000 Let's say I were hired as a stand-up comedian, okay?

08:34:18.000 And I don't do it as much anymore because we just have to work on the show so much.

08:34:21.000 We work so many hours.

08:34:22.000 Nakia, Jared, and I, by the way, we're going to be doing Virginia Tech in February, and we're going to actually take—if you want this show, if you want Lotta with Crowder, To be taken on the road to your show, to your school.

08:34:31.000 Sorry, my brain is already mush and I have to make it to midnight.

08:34:33.000 Good Lord.

08:34:34.000 Send me your tweet at S Crowder. 0.89

08:34:36.000 Hashtag CrowderCNN livestream.

08:34:37.000 We're going to bring the full show, not stand up.

08:34:39.000 We're going to bring the full show.

08:34:40.000 We'll broadcast the show and do Q&A with the audience at your school.

08:34:43.000 That's going to happen in 2018, is the next year, to follow 2017, I believe.

08:34:49.000 That doesn't sound right yet.

08:34:51.000 Watch this.

08:34:51.000 People are going to say you're on cocaine, especially after what Gavin said, but the air is being recycled in here.

08:34:51.000 Watch this.

08:34:58.000 And we have to keep it pretty dry because of the, uh, I think almost the dehumidifier's been too successful for today.

08:35:03.000 Does your nose dry?

08:35:03.000 I think it has been.

08:35:04.000 My nose has been a little dry today.

08:35:06.000 A little bit, yeah.

08:35:08.000 Yeah, I don't know.

08:35:10.000 Okay, we have our next guest, so we will get this out on the Twitter.

08:35:13.000 Uh, you know her, you love her.

08:35:14.000 Is there an underscore on her Twitter?

08:35:16.000 Uh, yes.

08:35:17.000 There's the underscore.

08:35:18.000 She is Joy underscore Villa, known artist and, uh, friend of the show.

08:35:23.000 Joy, how are you?

08:35:25.000 Merry Christmas!

08:35:26.000 Oh, I wish... I wish I could say Merry... Now, you're a Christmas person.

08:35:30.000 You're not a Kwanzaa person, correct?

08:35:32.000 I am a Christmas person, yes.

08:35:34.000 Not a Kwanzaa person.

08:35:35.000 It's less than 1%.

08:35:37.000 It's less than 1%.

08:35:38.000 Were you just watching?

08:35:39.000 Did you just hear the carolers' story?

08:35:41.000 I'll say I'm a Kwanzaa.

08:35:42.000 If somebody wants to claim it, if they identify as a Kwanzaa celebrator, I'm not gonna, you know, fart on their train.

08:35:49.000 But I don't, personally.

08:35:51.000 Did you just say fart on their train?

08:35:53.000 Yeah, because there's a closed space.

08:35:55.000 Nobody's supposed to fart on a train.

08:35:56.000 That's not a phrase, Joy.

08:35:57.000 That's not a phrase.

08:35:58.000 I've heard fart in an elevator.

08:35:59.000 I've seen it often, you guys.

08:36:01.000 All right.

08:36:01.000 Oh, okay.

08:36:02.000 It's a told phrase.

08:36:03.000 Stop trying to make it a thing, Joy.

08:36:04.000 It's not going to be a thing.

08:36:05.000 Let me ask you, did you just watch this, the carolers?

08:36:07.000 Did you just hear that story?

08:36:08.000 No.

08:36:09.000 Oh, she wasn't watching.

08:36:09.000 I heard a little bit of the story.

08:36:11.000 I didn't hear the whole thing.

08:36:12.000 What happened?

08:36:13.000 They surprised me with some Christmas carolers, the whole team, very nice of them.

08:36:17.000 I'm watching CNN for 16 hours.

08:36:19.000 I'm sure you're probably aware of this.

08:36:20.000 It's torture.

08:36:21.000 And I'm very tired already at this point.

08:36:23.000 My brain is mush.

08:36:24.000 You're all just wasted, I can tell. 0.98

08:36:25.000 I'm completely misinformed now.

08:36:28.000 I am behind an entire news cycle because I've been watching CNN all day.

08:36:31.000 What do you identify now?

08:36:32.000 What do you identify as?

08:36:34.000 Um, suicidal.

08:36:35.000 And so, what happens is they bring in these carolers.

08:36:38.000 I didn't realize, my wife just told me this story, there was a fourth caroler.

08:36:42.000 And she was in the green room and she started sobbing.

08:36:44.000 And she said, I didn't realize there was two of them, I refused.

08:36:47.000 And she locked herself in my green room, locking my producers out. 0.98

08:36:52.000 And so only three carolers came in to do the song.

08:36:54.000 She refused to perform.

08:36:56.000 And even my producer said, I'm surprised that there was guns in the green room.

08:36:59.000 I heard that.

08:37:00.000 We got guns in the couch! 0.98

08:37:00.000 In that couch! 0.98

08:37:01.000 I love it!

08:37:02.000 I heard that.

08:37:03.000 Yes, yes.

08:37:03.000 There are many.

08:37:04.000 There are guns in every room.

08:37:05.000 In every room.

08:37:07.000 Everywhere in the office.

08:37:07.000 In the green room.

08:37:09.000 Those two actually.

08:37:09.000 In this studio.

08:37:11.000 In that couch.

08:37:12.000 We got guns in the couch.

08:37:14.000 We got guns.

08:37:14.000 I got a gun right now.

08:37:15.000 Look, I got a gun chesty belt from Walter.

08:37:18.000 Pow, pow.

08:37:18.000 Maybe you shouldn't have a gun.

08:37:20.000 You're suicidal watching CNN.

08:37:22.000 Maybe someone should take this away.

08:37:24.000 That should be part of the universal background check.

08:37:24.000 This is true.

08:37:26.000 And she refused to come out.

08:37:27.000 And they said, listen, you can go out and air your grievances.

08:37:30.000 And if anyone has seen the Change My Mind segment, I'm not someone who pounces on anybody.

08:37:33.000 That would be beautiful.

08:37:34.000 It would be a change my mind, right?

08:37:35.000 You know?

08:37:37.000 I mean, listen, you're more conservative now.

08:37:37.000 Let me ask you this.

08:37:39.000 I don't know if you've always been this way.

08:37:41.000 What do you do if you're asked to do a gig and it's something, you know, you're there and the person happens to be liberal?

08:37:47.000 Do you do it?

08:37:49.000 Well, of course I would do it.

08:37:50.000 Are you kidding me?

08:37:51.000 I would literally have to boycott 99% of anything I ever do if I was going to do that.

08:37:57.000 I mean, I grew up conservative and then I went more liberal because it was just so much easier.

08:38:03.000 And I was honestly brainwashed, just like you're about to be watching CNN.

08:38:06.000 They do great propaganda.

08:38:09.000 And then I said, you know what?

08:38:10.000 F this.

08:38:11.000 You know, I need to be an independent person.

08:38:13.000 And that's when I came out with the Trump dress and everything.

08:38:15.000 But I mean, I tell you, I'll sing for anybody as long as they're not, you know, killing babies and stuff like that.

08:38:21.000 Well, so now I'm not a Planned Parenthood fundraiser.

08:38:24.000 Yeah, never, ever.

08:38:25.000 Actually, I would troll a Planned Parenthood fundraiser.

08:38:28.000 I would, like, bring a baby and be like, I didn't support this baby.

08:38:32.000 And I'd, like, choose life on my dress or something like that.

08:38:35.000 That would be fun.

08:38:36.000 That would be pretty funny.

08:38:36.000 But let's say, like, I don't know, Joe Lieberman or Barack Obama, they said, hey, they're big.

08:38:41.000 Or Misha, is it Misha? 0.63

08:38:43.000 They're big fans.

08:38:43.000 Misha Obama.

08:38:44.000 And they say, hey, they're big fans.

08:38:45.000 Would you come sing at Misha's?

08:38:47.000 Is it Misha? 0.66

08:38:48.000 Is it a daughter?

08:38:49.000 Michelle!

08:38:50.000 No, Michelle's the wife. 1.00

08:38:51.000 Malia, Malia, Malia.

08:38:53.000 If they say, hey listen, Malia's a big fan, would you come and sing at her birthday party?

08:38:56.000 Would you sing?

08:38:58.000 Yeah!

08:38:58.000 I would!

08:38:59.000 Okay, there we go! 1.00

08:39:00.000 It's not that... That's stupid! 1.00

08:39:03.000 If you're a singer, you get paid to sing. 1.00

08:39:05.000 It's not like, you know, singing for Hitler or something.

08:39:09.000 I mean, that's crazy.

08:39:11.000 I mean, would I sing for Hillary Clinton?

08:39:14.000 No.

08:39:15.000 That I could not do.

08:39:16.000 Yeah, that'd be a little different.

08:39:17.000 I mean, if it's like for Molly Obama, just to sing, you know what I mean?

08:39:21.000 Could I interview you for some of that K-tar money, though? 0.97

08:39:21.000 Yeah. 0.97

08:39:24.000 Right!

08:39:25.000 Oh, you know what?

08:39:26.000 You're right.

08:39:27.000 Look at this.

08:39:28.000 What is going on with this?

08:39:29.000 Oh, you know what?

08:39:30.000 It's just it's just that.

08:39:31.000 Hold on.

08:39:31.000 You know what?

08:39:32.000 Let me fix it for you, Joy.

08:39:32.000 You're right.

08:39:33.000 So right now, Jono and Brennan.

08:39:36.000 Hold on.

08:39:36.000 This is CNN.

08:39:37.000 They're reading a tweet from John Owen Brennan saying that Trump's response to the UN's vote is outrageous.

08:39:44.000 So let's go back on this.

08:39:46.000 The UN's vote is to condemn Trump recognizing Jerusalem as the capital of Israel, which it is, and putting the embassy in Jerusalem, which it's supposed to have been since 99.

08:39:55.000 And the vote is outrageous because it was 128 to 9 to condemn Trump.

08:40:00.000 It means nothing.

08:40:01.000 And now CNN is talking about How John Owen Brennan tweeted that Trump's response to this crazy decision is outrageous.

08:40:10.000 Do you see how watching this every day would just turn your brain to absolute mush?

08:40:14.000 It's crazy.

08:40:15.000 Totally.

08:40:16.000 I mean, you wouldn't even be able to think for yourself. 0.99

08:40:19.000 CNN is so ridiculous. 1.00

08:40:20.000 They have no truth. 1.00

08:40:22.000 They're just like a gossip site.

08:40:24.000 CNN is like E!

08:40:25.000 News, Kardashians, Real Housewives.

08:40:28.000 They're exactly in that category now. 0.99

08:40:30.000 It's just total, it's crap entertainment. 0.97

08:40:33.000 It's not even real news. 0.99

08:40:34.000 It's not reporting.

08:40:35.000 I think it's served, though, and that's what this whole stream is about, is to illuminate kind of the biases because everyone knows Keith Olbermann has a bias, right?

08:40:42.000 But for the longest time, people thought Jake Tapper was fair and straight down the middle, and I think people now know that's not the case.

08:40:48.000 And so the whole purpose to this stream is, I was like, listen, We can't cheat it.

08:40:52.000 Nothing up my sleeve.

08:40:53.000 No camera tricks.

08:40:54.000 We're going to sit and watch the original clock from pillar to post so you can see what a day in CNN news is like.

08:40:59.000 And this is what we're seeing.

08:41:00.000 And I think a lot of people for a long time thought, oh, Jake Tapper's not Keith Olbermann.

08:41:04.000 He is.

08:41:04.000 He hides it better.

08:41:07.000 Yeah, exactly.

08:41:08.000 It's more insidious.

08:41:10.000 Thank you for your service.

08:41:15.000 You guys are tortured for the cause.

08:41:17.000 I wouldn't even do that.

08:41:19.000 Oh, believe me, waterboarding was nothing compared to this.

08:41:23.000 Waterboarding was bad.

08:41:23.000 And I mean it.

08:41:25.000 What are you going to do next year?

08:41:25.000 Don't get me wrong.

08:41:28.000 Well, I don't know.

08:41:29.000 I don't know.

08:41:30.000 I'm going to have to bring in that caroler and give her a switchblade and bring in caroler number four just to be West Side Story trying to dodge her whole show. 1.00

08:41:41.000 I have no idea.

08:41:42.000 I don't know where we go from here.

08:41:43.000 I don't know how much worse it can get, Joy.

08:41:45.000 I just... So, okay, I'm glad to hear you say that, because I would perform stand-up.

08:41:48.000 Like I said, I wouldn't perform for a function that would be, like, Planned Parenthood or something, but if just someone who happened to be a liberal... But I guess I can see it.

08:41:56.000 We happen to... We're more activists.

08:41:58.000 Especially if it was a liberal's kid.

08:42:00.000 I mean, if it was something that... Also, you're not doing a super crazy show.

08:42:04.000 I mean, it's humor.

08:42:05.000 You're a comedian.

08:42:06.000 And I guess it's crazy to her mind.

08:42:09.000 But first of all, you're letting CNN take over for a little bit.

08:42:12.000 You're watching CNN.

08:42:13.000 It's a show that you're not totally... You do a change my mind segment.

08:42:17.000 It's not like you're so hard right, you wouldn't even hear her say she voted for Obama or something.

08:42:23.000 So for her to totally boycott you is crazy.

08:42:25.000 She got paid for this too, right?

08:42:28.000 I don't- that's the question!

08:42:29.000 Okay, hold on.

08:42:30.000 Oh, let me hear Nakajiri, because I have a question about that.

08:42:32.000 Here's the parallel with the pizza thing again, though.

08:42:33.000 I can understand a little bit, because this is kind of- this is us on duty performing- making the show, right?

08:42:39.000 We are making- this is the Lockheller program.

08:42:41.000 This is- if she did this part, I get it.

08:42:42.000 She- it's part of the- what we do.

08:42:46.000 Yeah.

08:42:46.000 But would she serve you tea at a restaurant?

08:42:48.000 Would she- Would she make you, uh, you know, let you check out in her lane at Walmart?

08:42:52.000 Would she bake me a wedding cake?

08:42:53.000 Would she bake you a wedding cake? 0.99

08:42:54.000 So here's the thing.

08:42:55.000 How far does it go?

08:42:56.000 Exactly.

08:42:57.000 Here's the question, though.

08:42:58.000 The parallel there. 0.90

08:43:00.000 Coursera's never argued that we shouldn't serve gay people in restaurants.

08:43:03.000 She said, hey, I don't want to be a part of this event.

08:43:03.000 No!

08:43:05.000 So there's the parallel.

08:43:08.000 Yeah, she just did it. 1.00

08:43:08.000 She just did it. 1.00

08:43:09.000 I don't think she has to at all.

08:43:09.000 Here's the thing.

08:43:11.000 And not me, Jared.

08:43:12.000 I need to say something really important. 0.98

08:43:14.000 If you're really not gay, you need to unbutton that a little bit. 1.00

08:43:17.000 You need to just show the goods. 0.96

08:43:17.000 Okay? 0.96

08:43:19.000 Ladies are waiting, you know. 1.00

08:43:22.000 Yeah, baby.

08:43:23.000 Put on appendix carry.

08:43:27.000 Both of us have to for the rest of the day.

08:43:28.000 I've been I've been committed to this.

08:43:30.000 Yeah, appendix carry this Walter.

08:43:31.000 No, that's very true.

08:43:33.000 Um, hold on a second.

08:43:34.000 Someone's just sending me something.

08:43:36.000 Hold on a second.

08:43:37.000 Victoria's acting police commissioner tells Sky News the alleged Street attackers attributed his actions to perceived mistreatment of Muslims, but has no known links to any terrorist groups.

08:43:37.000 Breaking.

08:43:48.000 So, the Afghani, whose name, Saeed Nouri, was never mentioned on CNN, seems that he was motivated by perceived mistreatment of Muslims.

08:44:00.000 I am just... Oh, we haven't given you the hit list.

08:44:01.000 Sorry, hold on, Joy.

08:44:02.000 And then I'll go back to the payment issue.

08:44:04.000 So the hit list, CNN stoking Russia hysteria with the idea that Trump is going to fire Mueller.

08:44:09.000 Adam Schiff was talking about the Mueller probe.

08:44:09.000 He said he wouldn't.

08:44:11.000 Even though he's been saying for nine months he has evidence, there is no evidence.

08:44:13.000 They haven't mentioned Uranium One once, Joy.

08:44:16.000 Not once.

08:44:17.000 All day, number one trend.

08:44:20.000 No mention, of course, of the Melbourne attacker being Afghani Saeed Nayori, so now we'll see if they actually talk about this because this just broke on Twitter.

08:44:26.000 They told it to Sky News.

08:44:28.000 The CHIP program, they literally said 9 million tiny Tims would go without health care because of Donald Trump.

08:44:34.000 They said that?

08:44:35.000 Yeah, they actually used the words tiny Tims.

08:44:37.000 And then they've never mentioned the 99.95 Israel vote for it to be the embassy and the, of course, the the capital.

08:44:45.000 And then, of course, they just said they said breaking Justin Bannon hates Bush.

08:44:49.000 They said where Steve Bannon said Bush 43 was the most destructive president ever.

08:44:53.000 By the way, I don't agree with him, but they just said Justin that actually came to us from October.

08:44:57.000 So that's the hit list thus far.

08:45:00.000 And not to mention the way they're presenting the Israel issue.

08:45:02.000 It's just the bias.

08:45:04.000 But let me ask you this.

08:45:05.000 What do you think is more harmful?

08:45:07.000 MSNBC, people like that caroler, or the soft bias by omission?

08:45:12.000 The lies that you're not aware of are being told because they just never give you the full story.

08:45:17.000 What do you think is worse?

08:45:19.000 I think it's a great question, the omission.

08:45:22.000 The soft omission.

08:45:23.000 Because there are people who still think CNN is real news.

08:45:27.000 They have their contracts with airports, so they're just blasted propaganda everywhere.

08:45:31.000 And if you don't tell the whole story, you're literally lying.

08:45:34.000 That is a lie by omission.

08:45:35.000 You don't give a fair and balanced side.

08:45:38.000 And if you don't start talking about Uranium One, which is huge breaking news, which ties the Clinton, you know, horribleness into everything, and also New York Times, They did a story about how the Clintons were taking money for something with Russia.

08:45:53.000 They did something like that about a year ago, and now they're refusing to even bring up their own stories.

08:45:59.000 Well, they're refusing to bring this up, and I'm just amazed.

08:46:01.000 Right now they're talking, it says, you know, it's continually said breaking about the UN vote.

08:46:05.000 Now it's not saying breaking, but it had been saying that all day.

08:46:08.000 And it had been saying breaking, you know, they're voting for government shutdown.

08:46:11.000 The Republicans, by the way, we've said this, have already said, well, there doesn't need to be a shutdown till the 19th.

08:46:16.000 You just need to vote on it.

08:46:17.000 But they're not saying Republicans are going to avoid a shutdown to the 19th so you can actually sit down and hash this out.

08:46:21.000 They're just saying Republicans want to shut down.

08:46:23.000 And here we are, right now they're talking about tax increases on Puerto Rico businesses.

08:46:28.000 Nothing on the Melbourne attack.

08:46:28.000 Nothing.

08:46:31.000 They've never mentioned that he was Afghani named Sayyid Nouri.

08:46:33.000 And now on Sky News, you'd think, how do I have this now five, ten minutes before CNN that he said it was about Muslim mistreatment?

08:46:43.000 How have they not mentioned this?

08:46:45.000 And when they do, if they do mention it, what are they going to do to spin it?

08:46:49.000 Because they're not going to say that he was Muslim.

08:46:51.000 They're not going to say, you know, they're not going to say any of that.

08:46:53.000 I think they will.

08:46:54.000 But I think right now they're figuring out how to spin it.

08:46:56.000 I think right now they're figuring out how to spin it.

08:46:58.000 And if he did anything that was, you know, that could be considered out of character, they'll go the mental health issue.

08:47:03.000 Right.

08:47:04.000 So I would if I don't know about you, but I would stop this.

08:47:08.000 This seems to me if they're going to say breaking news, Steve Bannon didn't like Bush 43.

08:47:12.000 Seems like the guy who just ran a truck into Christmas shoppers and said it was because of mistreatment.

08:47:17.000 Seems like that would be breaking news to me.

08:47:19.000 Okay, Joy.

08:47:20.000 So we went back.

08:47:21.000 Do we have to pay the four singers?

08:47:23.000 Because you've sang in a group.

08:47:24.000 What's the rule?

08:47:25.000 Can I prorate it for three?

08:47:28.000 Um, my gosh.

08:47:29.000 Okay, so if I get paid, when I get paid to sing, I have to do the actual job.

08:47:33.000 It's just like anything, gardening.

08:47:35.000 I mean, that's the singers.

08:47:36.000 I'll tell you from the perspective of a singer, struggling in Hollywood for many years, struggling as an entertainer.

08:47:41.000 The whole thing is like, oh, can you sing at my wedding?

08:47:43.000 Oh, can you sing at my party?

08:47:44.000 And they don't want to pay you because they just want free entertainment.

08:47:47.000 That's totally disrespectful because it's like if you pay somebody to cut your hair, you're not trying to get a freebie or, you know, fix your car.

08:47:54.000 So on that side, singers want to work to get paid.

08:47:58.000 Now if a singer gets paid and they don't work, They shouldn't get paid then.

08:48:04.000 I mean, she showed up, she didn't do the job. 0.55

08:48:06.000 I don't think you should pay her.

08:48:08.000 You know, I mean, what's the reason she gave?

08:48:10.000 She just freaked the hell out?

08:48:11.000 That's not good enough.

08:48:12.000 She doesn't know you.

08:48:13.000 She doesn't know anything about what you guys are doing.

08:48:16.000 Okay, I'm sorry, I'm reading this story as it unfolds.

08:48:18.000 I'm Melbourne because CNN's not telling us about it.

08:48:19.000 It's for the first time I actually feel like I'm informed on something.

08:48:23.000 So I don't have to, okay, I don't have to pay the fourth singer.

08:48:25.000 I just pay for the three.

08:48:26.000 I don't think you should.

08:48:27.000 No.

08:48:27.000 She didn't do the job.

08:48:29.000 Okay, I think that's more than fair.

08:48:31.000 Hey, let me ask you, Sven... I think he paid for her gas to come out or something.

08:48:34.000 I don't know what the deal was, if it was like gas... Ah, they carpooled.

08:48:38.000 Hey, Sven Computer, let me ask you.

08:48:41.000 What do you think?

08:48:42.000 Do you think I need to pay for the... If it's a quartet, do I pay full price or do I prorate it for three?

08:48:42.000 You were there.

08:48:47.000 No, you prorate it.

08:48:48.000 Everyone says prorate it for three.

08:48:49.000 Okay, so it's not like I would be a miser for doing that because she made it a point to not come out.

08:48:55.000 I should make it a point to not pay her.

08:48:57.000 Yeah.

08:48:58.000 All right.

08:48:58.000 Okay.

08:48:59.000 I mean, you can do it in all, you know, you can do it in a polite way.

08:49:01.000 Just like, you know, I'm sorry, but you didn't do your job.

08:49:04.000 So these singers did, they get paid and have a good life.

08:49:08.000 You know, you don't have to be nasty about it.

08:49:09.000 But the fact of the matter, she's not, she shouldn't pick up a paycheck.

08:49:12.000 I just hate artists.

08:49:13.000 And I know I've been a stand-up comic my whole life, but I just hate how self-important artists are.

08:49:16.000 Sometimes I'm like, I cannot do this.

08:49:18.000 I cannot.

08:49:18.000 You don't understand me.

08:49:19.000 It's like, there are people out there You're dying right now in foxholes, okay? 0.99

08:49:22.000 You're a cowler. 1.00

08:49:23.000 Get your ass in here, okay? 1.00

08:49:25.000 Do your best El Divo impression, do a holy night, and march on out, all right? 1.00

08:49:29.000 It's me sitting here in a onesie and a Santa hat watching CNN.

08:49:32.000 We're not sending people to death marches.

08:49:36.000 All right, okay.

08:49:37.000 What was her excuse just because of who you are?

08:49:40.000 That's it, that's it.

08:49:41.000 She had no reason.

08:49:42.000 She was like, I didn't know it was David Grutter!

08:49:44.000 And then the one guy... I just talked to Darren.

08:49:46.000 Apparently she was melting in the hallway and I couldn't stand up.

08:49:49.000 Oh, really?

08:49:50.000 I was talking to Darren.

08:49:50.000 Hold on.

08:49:51.000 Apparently, she was melting in the hallway. 0.94

08:49:53.000 Could not stand up and, like, could barely support her own weight.

08:49:58.000 Really?

08:49:59.000 Troubling.

08:49:59.000 Can we get Darren out here to tell his version?

08:50:01.000 Because he spent a lot of time with her.

08:50:02.000 Darren usually doesn't like to be on camera, but I'm sure we can get him out here after once we're done with... Why don't we have a live camera team in the hallway?

08:50:09.000 That would have been great.

08:50:11.000 Yeah, now looking back, I should have had a camera in the green room.

08:50:14.000 I would have loved to see... Yeah, that would have been great.

08:50:17.000 Well, I have a beautiful...

08:50:20.000 I have a beautiful old nickel-plated Smith & Wesson revolver that sits on a shelf, so it's like that, but it's on a gun stand.

08:50:28.000 And it's really just mainly just aesthetic, because it's a beautiful classic revolver with a rosewood grip handle and beautiful underlug to the barrel.

08:50:37.000 So I wonder if she was eyeing that at one point, like... I mean...

08:50:43.000 It's just, it's just how many, you know what I mean?

08:50:44.000 She's too triggered!

08:50:46.000 No, she's probably triggered by guns. 1.00

08:50:47.000 People like that, they need their pussy hat, you know, to feel better about themselves. 1.00

08:50:53.000 Where's Madonna? 0.99

08:50:55.000 She was like Ace Ventura when nature calls.

08:51:00.000 She was like Ace Ventura when nature calls, seeing all the animal heads.

08:51:03.000 She was like, Stephen Carter!

08:51:04.000 Then she saw a gun.

08:51:07.000 Close up, everything was triggering to her.

08:51:10.000 There was no safety.

08:51:14.000 Oh my God.

08:51:15.000 All right, Joy, I'm sorry.

08:51:16.000 I'm glad we got your input.

08:51:17.000 Where's the best place for people to find you?

08:51:19.000 We have to get going.

08:51:20.000 Yes.

08:51:21.000 Well, they can go to bringjoytocongress.com because I just announced my exploratory endeavor into Congress, a possible Congress run for Florida, the state of Florida.

08:51:30.000 Bringjoytocongress.com.

08:51:31.000 Bringjoytocongress.com.

08:51:33.000 Bing? 0.57

08:51:33.000 Bring? 0.57

08:51:34.000 I'm already tired.

08:51:34.000 Bing.

08:51:35.000 I'm sorry.

08:51:35.000 I swear, this is caffeine.

08:51:36.000 This is not...

08:51:38.000 No, I haven't had anything to... That one guy was a baritone, though.

08:51:41.000 The guy who had his eyes on you.

08:51:43.000 Bringjoytocongress.com.

08:51:46.000 Well, listen, Joy, it's a long shot, but you have a brass pair on you to do that, so let us know.

08:51:52.000 Keep us updated.

08:51:53.000 I mean that as a compliment. 1.00

08:51:54.000 I know that you don't have testicles. 0.99

08:51:56.000 Well, you know, if I did, it would be an honor. 0.99

08:51:58.000 If you did, it would be an honor.

08:52:00.000 A brass pendulous pair.

08:52:02.000 So, joyvilla, joy underscore villa at Twitter.

08:52:04.000 Thank you so much for joining us, Joy.

08:52:05.000 We must go.

08:52:06.000 Love you guys.

08:52:08.000 Love you very much.

08:52:09.000 We appreciate it.

08:52:10.000 A lovely lady, lovely lass.

08:52:12.000 Okay, hold on.

08:52:12.000 Before we bring Darren out, let's watch this.

08:52:15.000 Let's bring up some CNN real quick.

08:52:16.000 Here's Jake Tapper.

08:52:18.000 Any mention, any mention, Sven Computer, you've been paying attention to CNN.

08:52:22.000 Any mention of the Melbourne attack yet?

08:52:24.000 Sven, do you need some caffeine, Sven Computer?

08:52:24.000 No.

08:52:26.000 Sven, do you need some caffeine, Sven Computer?

08:52:26.000 No.

08:52:32.000 Do you need some Figgy Pops?

08:52:34.000 I'm a computer.

08:52:35.000 Oh, wait, hold on a second.

08:52:37.000 So, rather than run a story on the actual motives of a Muslim terrorist who ran a van into Christmas shoppers, let's speculate over whether the super villain Steve Bannon might run for president someday.

08:52:37.000 Ah.

08:52:46.000 So, rather than run a story on the actual motives of a Muslim terrorist who ran a van into Christmas shoppers, let's speculate over whether the super villain Steve Vannon might run for president someday.

08:53:02.000 Okay?

08:53:03.000 Yeah, Sven Computer, you're hitting it at your lamp for your overlay.

08:53:06.000 Yes, if Jared can bring it up.

08:53:10.000 So, the police spoke this morning to this guy, because he apparently improved in the hospital, beep beep, and this guy said, they said, he spoke about dreams, beep beep, boop boop, and he spoke about voices, but he also did attribute some of his actions to the poor treatment of Muslims, beep beep.

08:53:25.000 So it sounds like this guy is like, already planning for the court sessions, he's like, yeah, I'm mentally ill, but they mistreat Muslims.

08:53:35.000 Yeah, that's a good read on it.

08:53:37.000 Yeah, it does sound... It's like, uh... Why did you do this?

08:53:43.000 Because Muhammad is the holiest prophet, peace be upon him, and I believe the holy land... Because right now we're looking at Tel Aviv moving to Jerusalem... Also, my toaster talks to me.

08:53:54.000 Completely covering his face.

08:53:55.000 Okay, everybody!

08:53:56.000 We have Papa Crowder in the house!

08:53:57.000 Sorry, I know you don't usually like to come out here.

08:54:00.000 Fine.

08:54:01.000 This is good stuff.

08:54:02.000 Hold on a second, I'm going to whip this out of the way, because, you know this, what I do is if I have caffeine, what?

08:54:06.000 I got a stash going over here to dispose of stuff.

08:54:08.000 Just because if I have the full caffeine, I feel like I've had too much.

08:54:11.000 Huh.

08:54:13.000 Pick it up on the way out.

08:54:13.000 Close enough.

08:54:15.000 Darren, tell us the story here.

08:54:17.000 This is fascinating.

08:54:18.000 Someone, let's get the tweet out about the Caroller story, and let's get an image out, Sven Computer, with Darren here in studio.

08:54:24.000 What actually happened?

08:54:25.000 So, this poor gal. 1.00

08:54:26.000 It's the worst thing that could have happened to her, but the best thing for us.

08:54:30.000 This is great show fodder, I'm sorry.

08:54:33.000 And I can't do any more justice than Hillary already did, but she was sobbing, and Her diaphragm convulsing, I exaggerate, zero. 0.85

08:54:44.000 Steadying herself.

08:54:46.000 She means diaphragm.

08:54:47.000 Yeah, that diaphragm.

08:54:48.000 Didn't fall out on the floor.

08:54:50.000 May have.

08:54:51.000 At one point, this diaphragm, and then this diaphragm go, like a gremlin who's been watered after midnight.

08:54:58.000 OK, go ahead, sorry.

08:55:00.000 Holding on to the doorframe to steady herself.

08:55:03.000 She was so devastated.

08:55:05.000 And I just kind of pressed in and said, what is it?

08:55:07.000 What's bothering you?

08:55:13.000 And she finally said, she just, is it something about the show that's offended you?

08:55:16.000 Okay.

08:55:17.000 Well, what do you know about the show?

08:55:20.000 And she said, I know about the show, she said.

08:55:22.000 Okay.

08:55:22.000 And I said, okay, well, if there's something that bothers you, get out there and let them know.

08:55:28.000 Go in there and let them know.

08:55:29.000 Thanks for letting me, thanks for giving me fair warning, Pops.

08:55:32.000 Zero warning.

08:55:34.000 And I said, that's what you do.

08:55:35.000 You don't get offended.

08:55:36.000 You don't break down.

08:55:37.000 You engage in the process.

08:55:39.000 Hold on a second.

08:55:39.000 Something's wrong.

08:55:40.000 I'll give you my hat.

08:55:40.000 You have to be Christmasy.

08:55:43.000 She didn't want to do that.

08:55:44.000 She could barely speak.

08:55:46.000 So, how am I looking?

08:55:49.000 You look like her meeting.

08:55:49.000 You look like Henry Cavill in any scene of battle in Superman.

08:55:53.000 Just perfectly slick?

08:55:54.000 Just perfectly slick.

08:55:55.000 So, convulsing in the hallway, and Hillary says, you know, my mom was a professional singer, and she actually sang at Bill Clinton's inaugural, she told you, because it was her job.

08:55:55.000 Alright, sorry.

08:56:04.000 Yeah, inauguration.

08:56:04.000 Inauguration, I think.

08:56:05.000 You said inaugural.

08:56:06.000 So you meant to say inaugural ball or inauguration.

08:56:08.000 Come on, the half-Asian lawyer isn't here right now. 1.00

08:56:10.000 You done messed up, Pops.

08:56:12.000 Ray hours and 38 minutes in.

08:56:13.000 What?

08:56:14.000 Ray hours and 38 minutes in.

08:56:17.000 But that's what you do when you're a professional.

08:56:19.000 And she kind of fell silent on that.

08:56:21.000 And I said, you sing Christmas carols, right?

08:56:24.000 Yep, that's what I do.

08:56:26.000 You're part of the carol team?

08:56:27.000 You do that throughout the holiday season?

08:56:27.000 Yeah.

08:56:29.000 Yeah, I have for a long time.

08:56:30.000 Do you consider yourself a Christian?

08:56:34.000 Feeling like she'd been caught, she said, I don't identify as that at all.

08:56:38.000 My fault would have been, oh, you don't identify. 1.00

08:56:40.000 Do you have a cock? 0.99

08:56:43.000 That's another subject, but anyway. 1.00

08:56:45.000 Seems appropriate at that point.

08:56:47.000 It's all about identifying.

08:56:48.000 Okay.

08:56:49.000 But didn't realize she just made our point.

08:56:51.000 Right.

08:56:52.000 That she's willing to sing Christmas carols, although not a Christian. 1.00

08:56:54.000 And she locked herself in my green room?

08:56:56.000 Yeah, we couldn't get in there at one point.

08:57:02.000 There's a revolver right on the shelf!

08:57:05.000 And many more that she can't see.

08:57:05.000 Yes.

08:57:06.000 I was very concerned, but... It's not loaded.

08:57:09.000 Okay.

08:57:10.000 Yeah, that one's not loaded.

08:57:11.000 You know, I thought she might come out of there fan and the hammer on all of us. 1.00

08:57:13.000 You don't know.

08:57:14.000 No, that one's not loaded.

08:57:15.000 And the reason it's not loaded is so that they think that one, and I've got another one that is loaded.

08:57:19.000 So it's like a feint.

08:57:19.000 Yeah.

08:57:20.000 We've got to update our Walther commercial.

08:57:22.000 Instead of Aaron the Intern in the bathroom, it's just a caroler coming around the door.

08:57:25.000 Well, it wasn't one of those sweet Walters in there.

08:57:28.000 No, it wasn't.

08:57:29.000 It's an old revolver.

08:57:30.000 It's more of a classic.

08:57:31.000 It's not something I would use.

08:57:33.000 So that's all the news fit to print on it.

08:57:34.000 It's good stuff for us, but wow.

08:57:37.000 So she just left.

08:57:39.000 You're not going to pay her, are you?

08:57:40.000 Oh, I don't think she's worthy of that.

08:57:42.000 I mean, they're going to take a hit.

08:57:43.000 They have to.

08:57:45.000 Yeah.

08:57:46.000 Did they say you're paying for four, so you're going to take it and write it down to three?

08:57:49.000 Yeah, it was an important fourth voice for Carol of the Bells and some of the other stuff that adds the Yeah, let's get a poll going.

08:57:55.000 Hold on a second.

08:57:56.000 Poll Twitter on Carolers here.

08:57:59.000 So let's get a poll going.

08:58:01.000 Carolers. 0.84

08:58:01.000 Hold on. 0.84

08:58:03.000 Yeah, it doesn't... Look at that.

08:58:04.000 Look at that spell check. 0.99

08:58:05.000 Damn it! 1.00

08:58:07.000 Damn it, Apple! 1.00

08:58:08.000 It's done it to me a few times, too. 0.99

08:58:09.000 So yeah, I want to hear from Twitter, and then Sven Computer, we'll have you bring up the results of the poll.

08:58:13.000 Do you think that Pops Crowder, or myself, Well, really, I mean, it's you guys.

08:58:19.000 Your mug club.

08:58:20.000 It's your dollar.

08:58:20.000 It's your dollar with this.

08:58:22.000 This is something you guys paid for.

08:58:24.000 Democracy.

08:58:26.000 But let's be honest.

08:58:26.000 I'll veto the hell out of you.

08:58:28.000 If I was like, we don't really think we want to pay for it. 1.00

08:58:31.000 The world's sickest dildo. 0.98

08:58:33.000 And Sven Peter's like, it's mine! 0.99

08:58:35.000 So what do you think?

08:58:36.000 Do we pay?

08:58:37.000 Do we pro-rate it down to three?

08:58:39.000 They have a rate.

08:58:40.000 Let's just say they have a standard rate.

08:58:41.000 But did it say this includes X songs and X amount of carolers?

08:58:48.000 We assumed it was four.

08:58:49.000 Okay.

08:58:50.000 That's what we auditioned.

08:58:51.000 And a number of songs... You auditioned them?

08:58:54.000 Well, we saw them and they sang for us.

08:58:56.000 But... Where?

08:58:57.000 They didn't say how many songs they'd do.

08:59:00.000 We thought we'll frame that in with time.

08:59:03.000 Based on where we were in the show.

08:59:04.000 So... So we won't... It's not a time issue or a number of songs.

08:59:04.000 Okay.

08:59:08.000 It's a fullness of voice.

08:59:11.000 Yeah.

08:59:12.000 You auditioned four?

08:59:13.000 Yeah.

08:59:13.000 Where did you audition them?

08:59:15.000 Okay, I won't say it.

08:59:16.000 I won't say it, but, you know, I just wonder if it was like it was in the middle of a Starbucks and people were like, shut up!

08:59:20.000 Or I wonder if it was, you know, in the green room and she saw the revolver.

08:59:22.000 No, no.

08:59:23.000 We didn't audition her here.

08:59:24.000 I was going to say, wow, that is, well, thank you very much for even trying to put that together.

08:59:28.000 It was a lot of fun.

08:59:29.000 This was, this was high drama and you guys are, you know, completely unaware of it going on behind the scenes.

08:59:34.000 I have, well, I know there are more surprises set for me, so, um... Let's just... Hold on, let me, let me, hold on a second, let me read the poll here.

08:59:39.000 Has the poll gone out, guys?

08:59:41.000 Let me see, real quick, if the poll has gone out.

08:59:43.000 I don't think it's out yet.

08:59:45.000 You don't think it's out yet?

08:59:46.000 Yeah.

08:59:47.000 It is out or no?

08:59:47.000 No, no, it's not out yet.

08:59:48.000 Beep, beep, boop, dammit. 1.00

08:59:49.000 Dammit. 1.00

08:59:50.000 Alright, you know what, we'll let you know. 0.99

08:59:51.000 We'll let you know with the results of the polls and then that'll be based on how you use the work card.

08:59:56.000 Sounds good.

08:59:56.000 Alright, thanks Papa Crowder.

08:59:56.000 Good.

08:59:58.000 Don't let your tweet win through, Steven.

09:00:00.000 I didn't put a tweet out.

09:00:01.000 Oh.

09:00:02.000 I was asking the team to right now.

09:00:03.000 Oh, hey, Hopper!

09:00:05.000 Hey, buddy!

09:00:06.000 Hey, look at this! 0.99

09:00:07.000 This one's a little bit gay. 0.99

09:00:09.000 This one's a little bit gay. 0.99

09:00:09.000 Little bit gay. 0.99

09:00:10.000 I don't like this on you. 0.99

09:00:11.000 I don't like the tiara.

09:00:12.000 Let's take this off.

09:00:13.000 Let's just say, in light of the events of the previous entertainment, the night could get much worse.

09:00:19.000 The night could get much worse?

09:00:20.000 So much worse.

09:00:21.000 Oh gosh.

09:00:22.000 Well how much worse are we talking?

09:00:24.000 Thank you, Hopper!

09:00:25.000 Do you want to use this as a chew toy?

09:00:25.000 Thank you!

09:00:26.000 It has potential.

09:00:27.000 For a lot worse.

09:00:29.000 Look at Hopper, people who aren't watching, it's a CNN commercial right now for people who don't know, look at him.

09:00:33.000 This dog wraps around your leg for affection.

09:00:37.000 You'd think that we never pet this dog.

09:00:38.000 If he's not in here, he's being pet by someone else in the green room.

09:00:41.000 I wonder if Hopper was locked in the green room with her.

09:00:44.000 That would have been hilarious. 0.99

09:00:45.000 The crazy lady. 1.00

09:00:46.000 She probably thought it was illegal to leave. 0.91

09:00:47.000 Oh Hopper, if you'd have bited her, you would have been the hero.

09:00:51.000 If you'd have bited her, you would have been the hero for all time. 0.99

09:00:53.000 Okay, thank you for licking my face. 0.55

09:00:55.000 Sorry, I let my dog lick my face sometimes, because he looks like he's a little bit tired and hasn't gotten enough attention from me today.

09:01:02.000 Okay.

09:01:04.000 I think the consensus will go to the poll.

09:01:05.000 The consensus is going to be some point here pretty soon.

09:01:08.000 My guess is don't pay for the fourth caroler.

09:01:10.000 Who do we have next year on the docket?

09:01:12.000 Do we have a break that we can go to so I have to use the bathroom again?

09:01:14.000 I know we've got a little bit.

09:01:17.000 Do we have any of the Home Alone things or any other... Yeah, we have some things we can run.

09:01:17.000 Do we have any other breaks?

09:01:22.000 We do have a couple of things.

09:01:22.000 Alright, I'm going to let you guys take over the helm for a couple of minutes because I have to go use the restroom.

09:01:28.000 How long do I have?

09:01:30.000 I'll buy you two minutes.

09:01:32.000 Okay.

09:01:32.000 Buy me two minutes.

09:01:35.000 Two minutes and then you guys host without me if I'm not ready because I might need a little more.

09:01:41.000 Alright.

09:01:42.000 Let's go!

09:01:43.000 Let's go, Hopper! 0.98

09:01:44.000 Let's go!

09:01:45.000 We'll be right back, everybody!

09:01:46.000 Gee, Mr. Dentist, what is this place?

09:01:49.000 I don't know, it seems some kind of Auschwitz for toys.

09:01:53.000 No, we're in the island of misfit toys, where all the toys who are imperfect were exiled by Santa.

09:02:00.000 Like Hitler. 0.91

09:02:01.000 But Alana, you don't even look like you have that serious a problem. 0.99

09:02:05.000 Yeah, what's that asshat's problem? 1.00

09:02:07.000 Oh, he's a squirt gun who only shoots jelly. 1.00

09:02:10.000 He couldn't rack his brain to solve that one.

09:02:13.000 And there's me, a b-b-b-boat that can't stay afloat.

09:02:16.000 If you're a talking boat, you can't stay afloat.

09:02:18.000 You're not a boat anymore, you're a shipwreck.

09:02:21.000 Oh, I've been here for years.

09:02:24.000 Nobody wants to play with a Charlie in the box.

09:02:27.000 Okay, Charlie, I'm gonna give you a pro tip here. 1.00

09:02:30.000 If it's that much of a problem, Call yourself Jack, dumbass! 1.00

09:02:35.000 The only way they could even know your name is Charlie is if you're telling them! 0.99

09:02:41.000 Okay, so SimpliSafe's big selling point is that it's mostly wireless and you can install it, even a dope like me, in under an hour.

09:02:49.000 we're going to put that to the test.

09:03:00.000 This is a central location.

09:03:00.000 Central location.

09:03:03.000 But there's my wife's essential oil diffuser, so I have to decide between being safe, potentially not mugged, murdered, raped in my sleeve, or the smell of nutmeg.

09:03:14.000 Starting your system in test mode.

09:03:21.000 This is my old badge of security.

09:03:23.000 Well, hopefully we don't get robbed by any midgets. 1.00

09:03:25.000 So that sound is clearly obnoxious. 0.95

09:03:55.000 but I think that's the point.

09:03:57.000 It took less than 40 minutes.

09:03:59.000 Think of everything installed.

09:04:01.000 We didn't have glass break sensors, which in one area will be useful, so we're going to order those.

09:04:07.000 And having worked with other alarm systems that were wired into a house, this was a lot easier and certainly seems reliable.

09:04:16.000 Everything that we've tested works.

09:04:17.000 So simplysafe.com slash Crowder, you get $200 off right now.

09:04:23.000 And I gotta say, I'm pretty impressed.

09:04:24.000 Plus I have an excuse to Unplug the essential oil diffuser, which was really annoying.

09:04:30.000 Simplistic.com. 0.98

09:04:31.000 I hate you. 0.94

09:04:35.000 Why are you here? 1.00

09:04:55.000 I'm your not-gay Jared on a shelf! 1.00

09:04:57.000 I come complimentary with every mud club setup now through Christmas! 0.99

09:05:00.000 I'm sorry, I forgot to turn it up.

09:05:18.000 She's side, boys.

09:05:33.000 Cheers.

09:05:34.000 Thank you.

09:05:36.000 Harper. - Yeah.

09:05:39.000 What are you doing here?

09:05:40.000 It's the middle of the night!

09:05:41.000 Good evening, Jared.

09:05:44.000 I heard that you were in need of a guard dog services.

09:05:47.000 And I would like to... Son of a... Son of a...

09:06:07.000 Bye.

09:06:07.000 Thank you.

09:06:09.000 Hold on a second.

09:06:10.000 Hold on.

09:06:11.000 Thank you everybody, I'm back.

09:06:11.000 Hold on.

09:06:12.000 Do not show Sven.

09:06:13.000 Sven computer needs to get his computer on.

09:06:15.000 What are you doing?

09:06:17.000 Oh! 0.60

09:06:19.000 Oh wait, I forgot.

09:06:20.000 I have a vitamin I have to take.

09:06:23.000 Because everyone in here is sick. 0.90

09:06:25.000 By the way, most supplements are- Ah crap, I'm out of water. 0.96

09:06:27.000 Hold on. 0.93

09:06:28.000 Jared, Sven, take control.

09:06:30.000 I'll be over in just a second.

09:06:31.000 Okay.

09:06:32.000 Take control!

09:06:34.000 take control of the live stream.

09:06:36.000 We acknowledge some more people.

09:06:41.000 Yeah, we'll talk about it.

09:06:43.000 I just saw some breaking news about the House voting for the government shutdown.

09:06:50.000 Is that actually breaking news, or is that fake news?

09:06:52.000 No, no, that's real news.

09:06:54.000 That's legitimate news.

09:06:55.000 That's the first bit of legitimate news I think we've had.

09:06:57.000 Yeah, if you want me to bring up a tweet for that.

09:06:59.000 Yeah, that'd be good.

09:07:01.000 If this is actually real or not.

09:07:02.000 You want to give us a little audio there, sound guy?

09:07:03.000 Sound guy, Edward?

09:07:04.000 Let's see it.

09:07:05.000 It is coming from CNBC.

09:07:07.000 ...shows more than half of Americans say President Trump's comments on the investigation have been false.

09:07:14.000 Let's begin with our senior round's first pundit, Jeff Zellie.

09:07:17.000 Jeff, what's the latest?

09:07:20.000 Well, there is indeed widespread misinformation... You can bring it down a little more now.

09:07:29.000 So, the house just passed the spending bill, so all the tiny Tims won't have to die, beep beep boop.

09:07:34.000 Ah, the tiny Tims will live!

09:07:36.000 They'll live another day.

09:07:37.000 They'll live to see another day, tiny Tims.

09:07:39.000 Beep beep boop, right?

09:07:41.000 That was a translation, a rough translation.

09:07:41.000 Yeah.

09:07:45.000 You know?

09:07:47.000 It's unfortunate only because that was a great line they had there.

09:07:50.000 And I too am surprised they made it past the CNN executive filters.

09:07:54.000 But... What do we have now?

09:07:58.000 Still back on Trump surprises in Afghanistan.

09:08:01.000 Breaking news.

09:08:04.000 Wait!

09:08:04.000 I don't know if that's real or not either.

09:08:05.000 Did some actual news happen?

09:08:07.000 Some actual news... You know what?

09:08:09.000 I think this deserves a bell.

09:08:11.000 What happened?

09:08:12.000 A little celebratory bell.

09:08:13.000 They announced that the Owls passed a bill saving the Tiny Tims from the government shutdown.

09:08:18.000 All the Tiny Tims! 0.92

09:08:19.000 Do you mean... Now they're back on the Russia investigation.

09:08:24.000 Poll.

09:08:25.000 I'm walking in, 56% distrust Trump's handling of the Russia probe.

09:08:25.000 CNN poll.

09:08:30.000 Yeah, send computer.

09:08:31.000 Fill me in.

09:08:32.000 Talking about a poll... I can't hear you.

09:08:35.000 Talking about a poll, beep beep boop.

09:08:38.000 We have the results for the should we pay the fourth girl poll and initially it was 85-15% but then all the shills came in and now it's only 78% that say we shouldn't pay the fourth girl.

09:08:49.000 Pay the fourth girl. 1.00

09:08:50.000 Okay.

09:08:51.000 So the consensus is pay for three.

09:08:51.000 Alright.

09:08:56.000 But they were going to do four songs and only did three.

09:08:59.000 I don't care about the songs.

09:09:00.000 I just care about the people.

09:09:02.000 I don't want to screw any songs. 0.57

09:09:03.000 I just want to screw the person.

09:09:04.000 Yeah. 0.99

09:09:05.000 Exactly.

09:09:06.000 Hard.

09:09:08.000 Hold on a second, Penn's just arrived.

09:09:09.000 Okay, hold on a second here.

09:09:12.000 And they're talking about Penn's making a trip to Afghanistan.

09:09:16.000 So, I want to make sure.

09:09:18.000 They passed the bill that we're talking about, the Republicans who wanted to avert it to January 19th.

09:09:23.000 Is that what we're talking about?

09:09:23.000 19th or 15th?

09:09:24.000 Is it 15th?

09:09:26.000 It's January 19th.

09:09:28.000 So that's the bill we're talking about?

09:09:30.000 So the one that the Republicans suggested?

09:09:31.000 Yep.

09:09:32.000 So the one that they said the Republicans wanted to kill all the Tiny Tims?

09:09:35.000 But the bill that just got passed is the one that Republicans suggested, right?

09:09:35.000 Yeah.

09:09:39.000 Correct?

09:09:40.000 It appears to be the case, BB, but we're on a CNN news cycle, so we wouldn't really know, BB.

09:09:47.000 Alright, do you see, do you see the issue here?

09:09:48.000 Now here's the deal.

09:09:49.000 If you, and right now, when I come in, I was gone for, how long was I gone for?

09:09:52.000 Three minutes?

09:09:53.000 Yeah, three minutes.

09:09:54.000 Three minutes, and it came through, they, they, like we said in the hit list, nine million tiny Tims have to die. 0.87

09:10:00.000 Talked about how, sorry, pardon me, they didn't mention it, I'm sorry, listen, there's no, there's no mic, mute button, I just drank a portion of milk and I have a banana here.

09:10:09.000 I'm going to be eating on the microphone.

09:10:10.000 I was gone for three minutes.

09:10:11.000 And the Republican bill that we've been telling you about all day.

09:10:14.000 They had buffer on either side of that for the minutes, by the way.

09:10:16.000 So it was basically 30 seconds.

09:10:16.000 Oh, yeah.

09:10:18.000 So three minutes, I'm gone, which just tells you I have horrible timing.

09:10:18.000 Yeah, 30 seconds.

09:10:22.000 Three minutes, I'm gone.

09:10:23.000 And you have 45 seconds only.

09:10:25.000 Were they letting you know about the bill we've been telling you all day?

09:10:29.000 Why do they have to let you know?

09:10:30.000 Because it passed.

09:10:32.000 It made it through.

09:10:33.000 The reason Tiny Tim's 9 million aren't going to die is because of something Republicans suggested.

09:10:41.000 And the Democrats finally went along with it.

09:10:44.000 CNN covered evil Republicans wanting them to die all day, 40 seconds to the fact that it's now happening because of Republicans.

09:10:51.000 Yeah, what are you?

09:10:52.000 Oh, are you, uh...

09:10:55.000 Yeah, that's right, that's right, that's right.

09:10:57.000 If I'm trying to remember, this is the one, they cut off, as a matter of fact, as he was trying to communicate it, they cut off Senator Rick Santorum, remember?

09:11:04.000 Remember they had that broad, they had Pam, and then they had shrinking Kandi Crowley?

09:11:09.000 Which really isn't saying much, just was smaller than Kandi Crowley.

09:11:13.000 Basically anyone who's not Kandi Crowley.

09:11:15.000 But the point is, now why do I despise Kandi Crowley so much?

09:11:19.000 Because she almost single-handedly lost Mitt Romney the election with her bias at the debate. 0.97

09:11:24.000 Remember?

09:11:25.000 It was way worse than anything Megyn Kelly did with Donald Trump. 1.00

09:11:28.000 We had her on, didn't we?

09:11:30.000 Megyn Kelly?

09:11:31.000 Crowley.

09:11:31.000 No.

09:11:32.000 No, we never had Crowley.

09:11:32.000 No, Monica Crowley.

09:11:33.000 Monica Crowley.

09:11:34.000 No, no, no.

09:11:34.000 I mixed the two up a little bit.

09:11:35.000 No, why would you mix it?

09:11:36.000 I was thinking like, she's so nice.

09:11:38.000 He hasn't been understanding my jokes all day.

09:11:40.000 Monica Crowley is lovely. 0.72

09:11:42.000 She's very pretty. 0.99

09:11:43.000 Candy Crowley is a monster. 1.00

09:11:47.000 I'm going to retroactively ingest those jokes, because I'm sure they're clever. 0.75

09:11:49.000 Sven, get an overlay of Candy Crowley ready, so that we can show Tiny Not Gay Jared what it is. 0.88

09:11:55.000 And I'm going to eat my banana here.

09:11:57.000 So, oh gosh, it's your favorite.

09:12:00.000 I'm going to eat this banana.

09:12:02.000 So, Jared, take the reins here hosting for a little bit.

09:12:05.000 Just please, please don't discard that banana peel in the wrong place.

09:12:09.000 It could be a hate crime in at least 48 states.

09:12:13.000 I do not want a camera on me while eating a banana.

09:12:15.000 I don't need the photoshops.

09:12:17.000 Okay, let's be honest.

09:12:18.000 I kind of want the photoshops.

09:12:19.000 Alright.

09:12:20.000 I'm giving you a layup, guys! 1.00

09:12:26.000 Merry Christmas, you filthy animals. 0.99

09:12:28.000 Okay, Sven Computer, what's going on? 0.99

09:12:30.000 We wanted to see Candy Crowley, right?

09:12:32.000 Yes, yes, yes.

09:12:33.000 Oh, F. Yeah.

09:12:35.000 Did you see how I said the lady kind of looked like Candy Crowley? 0.94

09:12:38.000 Do you see what I meant?

09:12:40.000 At first I thought Candy Crowley, you know, got on a, got started counting points.

09:12:44.000 That's what I thought.

09:12:51.000 Can you see how they look alike?

09:12:52.000 Yeah, looks like she's got a Fitbit or something. 1.00

09:12:57.000 I got it for my sleep.

09:12:58.000 I actually got an Apple Watch because I'm a battered wife.

09:13:02.000 I have to get the Apple Watch.

09:13:03.000 Hashtag CrowderCNN livestream.

09:13:05.000 Listen, guys.

09:13:07.000 Oh, let me finish my banana.

09:13:08.000 But, um, Notgate Jared, you tell- Hey, Sven Computer.

09:13:12.000 You plug Mug Club here, okay? 0.95

09:13:14.000 Because your job depends on it, and so does your work visa.

09:13:17.000 You take one minute and make sure that we can hear you, Sven Computer.

09:13:20.000 He's a computer intern for people who don't know. 0.98

09:13:22.000 He deserves to be abused. 0.94

09:13:24.000 And we brought him over from Germany, and we pay him more than a living wage. 0.85

09:13:28.000 But why do computers need visas?

09:13:29.000 Beep beep boop. 0.99

09:13:30.000 Well, in this case, I don't know, Sven!

09:13:32.000 You tell me!

09:13:32.000 But you plug MugClub here while I finish my banana so that people know that you were hired because more people joined MugClub.

09:13:38.000 Yeah, so, guys, if you want to have a job here, then you need to continue promoting the show and then...

09:13:46.000 being Muck Club members, because then we can bring in more German people, beep, beep, and we can start a takeover and turn this into a horrible Nazi show. 0.99

09:13:54.000 Beep, beep, boop. 1.00

09:13:55.000 Before you think everyone else is joking.

09:14:00.000 The fourth killer will be thrilled.

09:14:02.000 Anything else, Fen?

09:14:06.000 Uh, no.

09:14:07.000 No, nothing.

09:14:07.000 No, thanks.

09:14:08.000 Beep beep.

09:14:08.000 Nothing else at all?

09:14:09.000 Hook us up with the prices.

09:14:12.000 Where do you find this mug club?

09:14:14.000 Well, you can go to ladderwithcrowder.com slash mug club and if you are any student, if you're a student of life, you can sign up.

09:14:22.000 Beep beep.

09:14:23.000 And get a discount.

09:14:24.000 A big discount.

09:14:25.000 Today.

09:14:25.000 It's only $69.

09:14:27.000 Usually we verify students, but today, it's Christmas!

09:14:31.000 And you get a muck that's like $200,000 per muck, so it's a good deal.

09:14:33.000 It is!

09:14:34.000 It's like a Clint Howard snow globe.

09:14:37.000 Yeah.

09:14:38.000 Beep, beep. 0.92

09:14:39.000 Well, thank you, Sven.

09:14:40.000 Peter, appreciate that little plug.

09:14:42.000 Well, here's a... Well, hold on a second, by the way, guys, just so you know, I want to make sure you see this.

09:14:47.000 And there's no magazine in there.

09:14:48.000 Just so people get... Obviously we knew before we put these guns on display, right?

09:14:52.000 But people are tuning in now.

09:14:53.000 Okay, just making sure you know.

09:14:55.000 I don't know how well we can see this.

09:14:55.000 Nothing in here.

09:14:57.000 Can we, um... Let's see if we can turn this up.

09:15:00.000 And I want to go back to your story, Sven.

09:15:02.000 Because right now they're just talking about Nunez and Mueller.

09:15:06.000 45 seconds devoted to the fact they said Tiny Tims were not going to die.

09:15:10.000 Alright, here you go.

09:15:12.000 Yeah, let's bring a close-up action here.

09:15:14.000 So, like I said, let me, uh, bring a close-up action.

09:15:17.000 Let me take out my Walther for my chastity belt.

09:15:20.000 Now, why am I so excited?

09:15:21.000 Walther is now sponsored a lot with Crowder, okay?

09:15:24.000 Right.

09:15:25.000 I know where I'm looking.

09:15:26.000 Okay, nothing in here in the magazine.

09:15:27.000 Okay, I'm just making sure you know there is no magazine in this gun.

09:15:30.000 Alright, clear it, clear it, clear it, clear it.

09:15:32.000 See it, see it.

09:15:33.000 Can you see?

09:15:34.000 Boom.

09:15:34.000 Okay, good.

09:15:35.000 Making sure you see it.

09:15:36.000 I know because everyone's gonna give me... No magazine in this gun.

09:15:39.000 And it's clear.

09:15:40.000 Okay.

09:15:41.000 So, these are, people say if you're going to get one gun, Walter is a sponsor, we can also, German company, we say Walter, Sven, right, in German, Sven Computer.

09:15:51.000 If you're going to get one gun, one gun, I know, one gun, no, but I'm, oh, that's right, I'm showing it right here.

09:15:57.000 One gun, I recommend the Walter PPS.

09:15:59.000 Now, they're a sponsor of the show, why should you support them?

09:16:02.000 We don't get sponsors to the show who aren't the best.

09:16:04.000 Here's the truth, we've had other firearms companies come to us to offer to sponsor the show.

09:16:09.000 But we didn't use their firearms.

09:16:11.000 We didn't like their firearms.

09:16:12.000 A couple of them were pretty limited in the firearms that they actually offered.

09:16:15.000 Now, what do I believe in firearms?

09:16:17.000 I'm a big revolver guy, you know that.

09:16:18.000 And then, if you're gonna get a semi-automatic, get one that is ultra-reliable, ultra-simple, lifetime guarantee, and I'm a big believer if you're not a gun enthusiast, a 9mm.

09:16:29.000 Right?

09:16:30.000 And why?

09:16:31.000 Because typically... 40 is going out because a 9mm with the ballistics, it's every bit as effective.

09:16:36.000 It's cheap, it's plentiful, and it's pretty easy for most people to shoot.

09:16:39.000 So if you're gonna get one gun, the reason you support Walther is not because they support the show, but that's... but they're also the best.

09:16:45.000 So, we sit and we create all these ad campaigns, like SimplySafe, PrepareWithCredit.com.

09:16:49.000 Walther was really easy.

09:16:50.000 Try the Walther.

09:16:52.000 If you're gonna buy a firearm this Christmas, just go and try the Walther.

09:16:54.000 Go to a range, try your Glocks, try your Smith & Wessons, try your Rugers.

09:16:58.000 Just ask to try the Walther.

09:16:59.000 Yeah, they support the show, and they're more than happy to.

09:17:02.000 They're not afraid of the content, but their firearms are better.

09:17:05.000 If you get one gun, this is what I recommend.

09:17:07.000 The PPS.

09:17:08.000 Why?

09:17:09.000 The PPS is a single-stack 9.

09:17:10.000 You can see it's actually, I believe, the thinnest single-stack 9mm in existence.

09:17:14.000 This one has a laser, okay, so you can see.

09:17:16.000 I don't know, I'm trying to aim it, so there you go, you can see.

09:17:18.000 Has a laser, so removes the guesswork, right?

09:17:21.000 Laser, boom, defend yourself.

09:17:23.000 You can have a 6-round magazine, so 7 rounds, 8 rounds, or 9 rounds.

09:17:26.000 So if you're only going to have one firearm, something that you can carry, and also switch to a bigger magazine to carry 9 rounds is what I recommend, the Walther PPS.

09:17:34.000 Yeah, the limited edition comes with six, seven, and eight rounds, so you can have seven, eight, or nine rounds, okay?

09:17:41.000 This is what is going back, hold on a second, in my Walt of Chastity belt right now, from Nate Squared Holsters.

09:17:46.000 We're gonna get a custom holster actually made for the show.

09:17:49.000 Great company, but they're not a sponsor of the show yet, but they are a great company.

09:17:53.000 So this, again, cleared just for people who are tuning in.

09:17:54.000 This is the Walther PPQ.

09:17:56.000 Now, why am I showing you this?

09:17:58.000 These are their two main guns.

09:17:59.000 This is their full size.

09:18:00.000 That means two stack, two stack of nine, two rows effectively of nine millimeter rounds going to this magazine.

09:18:05.000 This is, I think, 15?

09:18:06.000 Capacity?

09:18:07.000 14 or 15 plus one?

09:18:09.000 So either 15 or 16 rounds.

09:18:11.000 This is the most amazing gun that I've ever shot, as far as not like a custom-made 1911, to shoot accurately.

09:18:19.000 Go try it.

09:18:20.000 It is my gun.

09:18:22.000 It is the gun I use.

09:18:23.000 I have several guns, but it's one of my nightstand guns.

09:18:25.000 Oh, what are you saying?

09:18:26.000 I'm looking somewhere else?

09:18:28.000 Oh, that's what you use, too.

09:18:29.000 Yeah, after I told you.

09:18:30.000 You were like, eh, I like the Glock.

09:18:31.000 I was like, just try the Walther.

09:18:33.000 That's why I said, just try the Walther.

09:18:34.000 I said, Jared, Jared, just try the Walther.

09:18:34.000 That's how we came up with the idea.

09:18:37.000 It's the best firearm out there.

09:18:38.000 We're not listen.

09:18:39.000 They're actually not expecting us to plug them this show But if you're looking I know Christmas season right now a lot of people looking at buying firearms I highly recommend the Walther's this thing is out-of-the-box Silly accurate to shoot and we couldn't be more ecstatic when we did the gun video first time gun owners That guy went to the range for the first time.

09:18:56.000 It was Walter was not a sponsor of the show This is a very recent thing.

09:18:59.000 It just was the best gun.

09:18:59.000 It's going into 2018.

09:19:02.000 It's like it's like It's a product that you're a fan of for a long time, and then you find out that your views are aligned and they're willing to sponsor the show.

09:19:11.000 It's as good as a partnership can be, and it's a great feeling.

09:19:13.000 So, that's all.

09:19:14.000 I'm just giving this plug to the sponsor because there's nothing that they're talking about here.

09:19:17.000 Oh, breaking news!

09:19:19.000 House Republicans secretly probe Justice Department.

09:19:21.000 No, that's not breaking news.

09:19:23.000 That's not breaking news.

09:19:24.000 There's nothing new.

09:19:27.000 Here's another one.

09:19:28.000 CNN.

09:19:30.000 Not CNN, sorry.

09:19:30.000 The opposite of that.

09:19:33.000 Majority of Democrats just voted against giving disaster aid to those affected by hurricanes and wildfires.

09:19:39.000 251 to 169, it passed an $81 billion disaster aid for hurricane and wildfire relief.

09:19:46.000 Now here's a question to you, right?

09:19:47.000 All right, you can lower those lights.

09:19:48.000 Sorry, now that we're, uh, look at this.

09:19:50.000 Now I look like I'm trying to do a Burt Reynolds spread.

09:19:54.000 Here's why this matters, because they'll say, well, what about Republicans who voted to reduce hurricane relief in some points?

09:19:59.000 Well, listen, the overall premise of conservatism is not to spend other people's money, right?

09:20:06.000 The overall premise of liberalism, of progressivism, is that the government is a centralized power.

09:20:11.000 That's why They have the death tax, because it's the government's anyway.

09:20:15.000 It's not yours. 0.78

09:20:16.000 It's not between you and God.

09:20:17.000 It's between you and the government, and they have the right to take everything.

09:20:19.000 You're lucky to have any of it.

09:20:20.000 So, the Democrats have no problem spending.

09:20:22.000 So when they accuse Republicans or conservatives of Ted Cruz of disaster relief, saying, why are you not wanting to help these people from these disaster relief?

09:20:30.000 Usually it's because these bills come with crazy earmarks, right?

09:20:33.000 And it's the spending that conservatives have a problem with.

09:20:35.000 The spending on other frivolities.

09:20:37.000 Often it has nothing to do with disaster relief.

09:20:39.000 Now here's the thing.

09:20:40.000 Democrats, leftists, don't have a problem with that anyway.

09:20:44.000 They want that.

09:20:44.000 They want as much of your money, as much spending as humanly possible.

09:20:47.000 So there is no reasonable, there's no reasonable actual, there's no, my brain is mushy, there's no reason, there's no valid reason Democrats can give to not vote for 81 billion in disaster relief.

09:21:00.000 This is something that would be straight down center plate. 0.73

09:21:02.000 They vote to spend on anything, including forcing Hobby Lobby to get you the morning after pill.

09:21:10.000 And they just voted against disaster relief.

09:21:12.000 And this actually is breaking.

09:21:13.000 Can we bring up that overlay, Sven?

09:21:16.000 No, we are going to have guests.

09:21:18.000 Oh, we have, uh, is that Iceman?

09:21:19.000 Uh-huh.

09:21:20.000 All right, listen, we have our next guest.

09:21:21.000 Let's get our card out here on Twitter.

09:21:23.000 Uh, favorite of the show, we bumped him last week.

09:21:25.000 I felt bad, or two weeks ago, because something happened, and so we're like, we're gonna get you a... He was sick, too.

09:21:29.000 What?

09:21:29.000 He was sick, too.

09:21:30.000 He was sick, that's right.

09:21:31.000 Hold on one second.

09:21:32.000 Before you bring him on, let me put the Walter back, because we have to keep this on display.

09:21:37.000 So that's all!

09:21:38.000 Our advertising campaign is very simple, okay?

09:21:40.000 It's just... Try the Walter.

09:21:43.000 Deadass, though. 0.90

09:21:44.000 Uh-huh. 0.97

09:21:47.000 Oh, please.

09:21:48.000 I'm gonna keep this going for a while. 0.91

09:21:49.000 Deadass. 1.00

09:21:50.000 Branded ass. 1.00

09:21:51.000 Alright, there's the old PPK. 0.99

09:21:53.000 I'll bring it out.

09:21:53.000 I'll say it's not a favorite of mine, but it's an iconic gun.

09:21:56.000 So, alright, we have up next, I believe he's with us, Matt Isman, winner of Celebrity Apprentice, host of American Ninja Warrior, also a bunch of- I'm not hearing you!

09:22:06.000 You can't hear me yet?

09:22:07.000 Can Matt Isman not hear me?

09:22:08.000 Hold on one second, let's make sure we double check this.

09:22:11.000 Can you hear me now?

09:22:12.000 I can hear you.

09:22:13.000 Wait, is that a Walter in your pants or are you just happy to see me?

09:22:17.000 A little bit of both.

09:22:18.000 Listen, it's a Walter in my pants, but it's aiming at you because I'm happy to see you.

09:22:23.000 They're a sponsor of the show!

09:22:28.000 You're Buzz Lightyear in a pair of glasses.

09:22:32.000 By the way, James Bond carried a Walther PPK, so... He did.

09:22:36.000 Endorsed by the MI... or whatever he was.

09:22:40.000 The 00 group.

09:22:40.000 00.

09:22:42.000 You just pulled a Trump and tossed yourself into a corner.

09:22:45.000 Are you guys dressed like pajama boy from Obamacare?

09:22:49.000 It was like a Jeff Bloom 180.

09:22:51.000 Fact check your – well, I don't know.

09:22:54.000 By the way, are you guys dressed like Pajama Boy from Obamacare?

09:22:59.000 Or is this just for the marathon?

09:22:59.000 See?

09:23:01.000 That's what I was – well, because I got waterboarded on this last year, and so we figured we had to do it now.

09:23:06.000 And I'd rather be waterboarded.

09:23:08.000 You know what?

09:23:08.000 I'm sorry, I have to do this with every single guest.

09:23:10.000 Can I give you the... By the way, Sven, let's add to the hit list the fact that they only gave 45 seconds to when the bill passed.

09:23:16.000 Alright, I'm going to give you... You know we've been watching CNN all day.

09:23:18.000 We're doing the full 16-hour clock because it's the only way to expose their bias to actually show, unedited, all day how their news works.

09:23:25.000 I'm going to give you a really quick hit list, okay?

09:23:28.000 Of what we've seen today.

09:23:30.000 Right away, CNN, the Russia hysteria, the idea that Trump's going to fire Mueller.

09:23:33.000 Of course, he said he wasn't going to fire Mueller.

09:23:35.000 They only announced that later today when, in fact, they said that last night.

09:23:39.000 Adam Schiff was on and he, nine months ago, said he had evidence on the Mueller probe.

09:23:42.000 Nothing.

09:23:42.000 No evidence.

09:23:43.000 He came back on.

09:23:44.000 They have him on as a talking point.

09:23:45.000 No mention, not once, of Uranium One.

09:23:47.000 They said the chip program, 9 million tiny Tims were going to die.

09:23:50.000 They actually used the word because of Republicans, 9 million tiny Tims would die.

09:23:55.000 Here's the thing, turns out that's not true, and now the extension actually has been put into action until January 19th.

09:24:01.000 No mention of the Melbourne attacker still, that he was Afghani, Saeed Nouri.

09:24:05.000 They've never mentioned that at all.

09:24:06.000 They just said some guy ran a van into some holiday shoppers, not Christmas shoppers.

09:24:14.000 No wait, let's make sure we blame the van.

09:24:17.000 Yes!

09:24:18.000 Well, they needed better van control in Australia.

09:24:21.000 You know that Walter PPK is not nearly as dangerous as a Chevy passenger van.

09:24:26.000 I know!

09:24:27.000 That's what I was saying.

09:24:28.000 Can you believe we give 14 year old girls the ability to, not 14 year olds, but 16 year old girls, they're texting and you've given them a Tahoe?

09:24:36.000 Yeah.

09:24:38.000 The keys are by the front door, literally on the way to murder.

09:24:41.000 It really is.

09:24:42.000 My neighbor, when he was 14, he crashed a van into a ditch.

09:24:46.000 He only injured himself, but I know no one who's injured themselves with a Walther PP.

09:24:54.000 What do you have, the PPN?

09:24:55.000 This is the PPS and that's the PPQ.

09:24:58.000 The PPK is kind of their classic model.

09:25:03.000 - You sound like the German computer now. - Yes, you sound like Sven Kvot.

09:25:10.000 But he's a good little intern.

09:25:11.000 Of course they've been talking about Israel. 0.84

09:25:12.000 They've been saying breaking news all day for the 128 to 9 vote from the UN, the resolution to just say Donald Trump sucks because he's recognizing Jerusalem as the capital of Israel, which it is.

09:25:24.000 Then they said breaking news, breaking news, Bannon doesn't like Bush 43.

09:25:29.000 Of course he said that in October.

09:25:31.000 They actually said breaking news.

09:25:32.000 And then finally, when actually the government shut down, because they were talking about it all day, 9 million tiny Tims will die.

09:25:38.000 They had panel after panel after panel after panel after guest after guest after guest, and we were talking about how Republicans put forward a bill to basically stop a government shutdown to January 19th.

09:25:47.000 Democrats just had to vote for it.

09:25:49.000 It finally happened, and they gave it 45 seconds.

09:25:51.000 I actually went for a pee break.

09:25:53.000 I came back, and the coverage of it was over, when that was their entire day's coverage.

09:25:57.000 So that's the hit list.

09:26:00.000 It's I mean it's sad that you we you're just acknowledging what I think we are all realizing is that there isn't news it's newsertainment where it's we're pandering to what people want to see and and it's so hard to find authentic Facts!

09:26:18.000 Without doing the research on your own.

09:26:20.000 And it's so disappointing to feel like, whether it's Fox or particularly MSNBC and CNN, which presents itself as the voice of the people, and you see the bias.

09:26:31.000 Or in late-night television.

09:26:33.000 I thought, you know, Owen Benjamin is a friend of mine and I'm so glad he's found a home with you.

09:26:38.000 But like he tweeted out, look at the diversity of late-night television.

09:26:42.000 Right.

09:26:42.000 They all vote the same way.

09:26:43.000 They all hold the same political beliefs.

09:26:47.000 And so, it's sad when you realize that there isn't the diversity we expect.

09:26:54.000 No, there isn't!

09:26:55.000 Well, did you hear the story just now?

09:26:56.000 We had carolers come in.

09:26:57.000 I don't know if you've been watching.

09:27:00.000 They couldn't sing Christmas carols!

09:27:02.000 No, no!

09:27:04.000 They have to sing holiday carols!

09:27:05.000 No, no, no, no, no!

09:27:06.000 It's worse!

09:27:07.000 We don't acknowledge Christmas!

09:27:08.000 It's worse!

09:27:09.000 It was a surprise to me.

09:27:10.000 I didn't know about this.

09:27:11.000 Three carolers came in.

09:27:13.000 Turns out there was a fourth caroler in the green room who almost, like, she figuratively, like, melted, locked herself in my green room so no one could get in and said, I didn't realize this was for Steven Crowder!

09:27:23.000 I can't do this!

09:27:25.000 Like, I'm a monster, and refused to come in and sing the carols.

09:27:28.000 I was like, why can't you sing Carol of the Bells?

09:27:28.000 And I didn't know.

09:27:30.000 That's the one I like.

09:27:31.000 It got really awkward for a minute.

09:27:32.000 And they got really awkward for a minute because one of them refused to sing.

09:27:36.000 So she's saying she wouldn't bake a cake.

09:27:39.000 There's someone she didn't agree with.

09:27:41.000 That's exactly what we said.

09:27:43.000 She has every right not to, but the Twitter poll says, I don't have to pay.

09:27:43.000 Here's the thing.

09:27:46.000 I'm prorating.

09:27:47.000 It's a quartet.

09:27:48.000 I'm prorating for three.

09:27:49.000 I think that's reasonable.

09:27:51.000 Yeah.

09:27:52.000 I think we do have this right to refuse service, but it's the hypocrisy of it when it gets reversed.

09:28:01.000 And particularly with someone like you, who really You are not controversial!

09:28:06.000 You're a comedian who is... By the way, did you survive the Twitter purge?

09:28:12.000 I think...

09:28:14.000 On December 18th, right?

09:28:15.000 Aren't you?

09:28:16.000 No, I don't know.

09:28:16.000 I'm fine.

09:28:17.000 Are you incredibly alt-right?

09:28:18.000 Yeah, exactly.

09:28:19.000 That's what you would think, right?

09:28:20.000 Dangerous?

09:28:20.000 You and Milo gonna lose the blue checks?

09:28:24.000 Well, Milo did, but I mean, it's just so, it's like, we do, like, Darren was the one, you know, he booked you on the show.

09:28:29.000 Darren was Pops Crowder.

09:28:30.000 He's the booker for the show because, lo and behold, we had a booker who used to be on one of the bigger shows.

09:28:35.000 Refuse to book this show.

09:28:36.000 She was hired, took a check for a month, never booked the show.

09:28:38.000 So we're like, Darren, could you do this?

09:28:39.000 You're basically booking the guests.

09:28:40.000 He said, yeah, sure.

09:28:41.000 I can do it.

09:28:42.000 And it's great.

09:28:43.000 I get to have my dad working for me to help produce the show.

09:28:45.000 And he was the best person for the job.

09:28:47.000 But I was going to say something before that.

09:28:49.000 Something about booking.

09:28:49.000 What were we talking about?

09:28:51.000 I don't know.

09:28:52.000 Well, carolers are just the... I don't remember.

09:28:55.000 The inequality, the Twitter purge.

09:28:55.000 The pizza thing.

09:28:57.000 Oh, the Twitter purge.

09:28:58.000 Yeah, we're talking about the Twitter thing.

09:29:01.000 The change my mind deal.

09:29:02.000 Like, Darren said, go in, see if you disagree with him.

09:29:05.000 Do you know, what do you know about the show?

09:29:07.000 He said, like, her diaphragm.

09:29:08.000 I was like, I just can't do it.

09:29:11.000 And then he was like, go in.

09:29:12.000 You can go in and tell him what you don't, and he'll actually sit down with you.

09:29:14.000 I bet you he'd like to have you sit down.

09:29:17.000 She locked herself in my green room, which, by the way, has a revolver on display in the room.

09:29:23.000 I was like, she must have been, it must have been like Rambo back in NOM. 1.00

09:29:23.000 A classic revolver. 1.00

09:29:26.000 She's like, ahhhh! 1.00

09:29:29.000 How often do they do what you're doing, where you're sitting down here saying, I don't always agree with CNN, but I will give them the chance to sit here for 16 hours and acknowledge if they If they were to change your mind or at least to be open to it and that's what's so frustrating is someone who makes a living with words or to see someone like Owen Benjamin

09:29:50.000 Who expresses opinions and rather than saying, let's discuss this, let me hear your point of view, it is censored, it is you are immediately toxic, where there's trial without jury and you're immediately considered this Nazi right winger.

09:30:08.000 And it's so unfortunate, I think, to live in an era where We have such avenues of free speech, but nobody's engaging in them.

09:30:17.000 Rather, it's simply echo chambers.

09:30:20.000 Yeah, I mean, we could communicate more than ever, right?

09:30:23.000 That was the idea of the internet.

09:30:24.000 You know, you can surf the tube or play Mortal Kombat with a friend in Vietnam.

09:30:30.000 And instead, people just refuse to engage at all.

09:30:33.000 And it's not because of conservatives.

09:30:34.000 I hate to say it.

09:30:35.000 I know people, why are you saying left?

09:30:36.000 It is left-right.

09:30:37.000 Listen, I would never go in and be like, I won't perform stand-up if I found out there was a liberal there.

09:30:42.000 And if the person said, hey, you're allowed to go in and tell this person and, you know, have a conversation.

09:30:47.000 Particularly if it were like, let's say a Dave Rubin, or let's say, I don't know, Christine Hoff Summers, or let's even say someone even like a Van Jones.

09:30:55.000 Van Jones, I'd disagree with him on that.

09:30:56.000 I would go in and I'd talk with him about it.

09:30:58.000 And only the left freaks out.

09:31:00.000 They freak out.

09:31:01.000 This caroler freaked out.

09:31:02.000 You'd have a conversation with Cenk if he allowed it.

09:31:04.000 I wanted to have a conversation with Cenk for years, and since he didn't, that's when I crashed the Cenk panel as Cenk.

09:31:10.000 You know I felt bad about it.

09:31:11.000 Here's one of the things I think is a big difference, again, we talked about before, between liberals and conservatives.

09:31:16.000 I assume when I talk to people, strangers, when I go into businesses, I assume they're probably left-leaning.

09:31:21.000 I assume that's the default position of most non-politically engaged Americans.

09:31:27.000 And then you realize that people like this, they don't see the spectrum.

09:31:30.000 They just see normal content, normal venues to perform in, and right-wing Nazis.

09:31:35.000 Yeah, that's YouTube.

09:31:36.000 It's normal and right-wing Nazis. 0.96

09:31:37.000 They go, normal, Tranny makeup tutorials, normal, vote Hillary Clinton, YouTube, we are the world, normal. 0.97

09:31:37.000 That's it. 0.97

09:31:45.000 I'm stretching.

09:31:45.000 What are you doing?

09:31:46.000 Oh, you're stretching, okay.

09:31:47.000 You look like the Burger Meister Meister Burger when he's in the wheelchair. 1.00

09:31:50.000 You know, the other thing that bothers me too is to say, say I'm more conservative in some of my positions.

09:31:58.000 That's not to say I don't believe in gay marriage or believe in rights for people or charity where people say, you know, again, as someone who was in health care before, To say I believe in people having health care.

09:32:13.000 I just believe that the free market is a better system of providing it.

09:32:16.000 So when I say I may be opposed to the government getting involved in it, it's not as though I'm saying I want people to die or tiny Tim's to go away.

09:32:26.000 I'm saying I just think that the free market is a more efficient way of doing it than the government.

09:32:30.000 Certain things the government should do, like having the army protecting us, providing some infrastructure.

09:32:34.000 Right.

09:32:34.000 But I'm more and more convinced of the merit of the free marketing.

09:32:39.000 And what I don't like is, particularly when you look at something like Twitter, which I'm not going to argue it's a public utility, but to say like, your existence is supposed to be predicated on the exchange of ideas.

09:32:53.000 And when you censor people or shadow ban people, I think it does it a disservice because you're not really engaging in the thoughtful exchange of ideas.

09:33:04.000 And I think you lose the credibility.

09:33:06.000 And when you see this clear bias towards views of a certain sort, you feel as though it's being abused.

09:33:19.000 This idea of the free speech, which I just dislike.

09:33:23.000 Yeah, I don't understand it at all.

09:33:25.000 Matt, where are you?

09:33:26.000 Do you have a driver today, or did you pull aside and get in a passenger seat?

09:33:31.000 My girlfriend is in the dentist. 1.00

09:33:31.000 Are you riding a bitch? 1.00

09:33:35.000 Because last time I was trying with the steering wheel, I have the phone on the dashboard. 1.00

09:33:40.000 But unfortunately, I look like powder.

09:33:42.000 This lockdown is just terrible.

09:33:45.000 I remember that movie.

09:33:46.000 That was a terrible film.

09:33:48.000 It was.

09:33:49.000 But I'm glad for the reference.

09:33:51.000 Are you going to the restroom as Sven Computer?

09:33:51.000 Sven Computer's leaving.

09:33:53.000 All right, Spend Computer's going to the restroom. 1.00

09:33:55.000 Apparently he's been offended.

09:33:56.000 Let me ask you this, Matt.

09:33:56.000 Hey, you know what?

09:33:57.000 He goes for updates.

09:33:58.000 Let's say he goes for updates.

09:34:01.000 You show up, and you're doing stand-up, and it turns out that you are doing stand-up, and let's say it's a private party, and it turns out the guy who's running the private party is a real liberal.

09:34:12.000 He's really liberal.

09:34:14.000 You've already agreed?

09:34:15.000 You've already signed the contract?

09:34:16.000 Do you do it?

09:34:17.000 Of course!

09:34:18.000 I'm okay!

09:34:19.000 I'm just saying, it's Joyful, it's not even a question, okay?

09:34:21.000 So it's not just me.

09:34:22.000 No, I'm not, no, no, no, I like, I have no problem where, first of all, my comedy's not political.

09:34:28.000 I've chosen to, you know, talk about myself, Goofy, whatever, but...

09:34:28.000 Right, of course.

09:34:33.000 Hold on one second, pause!

09:34:35.000 Breaking news, breaking news, breaking news!

09:34:36.000 CNN poll, 56% distrust Trump's handling of Russia probe.

09:34:41.000 Okay, sorry, breaking news.

09:34:42.000 I didn't want us to miss that.

09:34:43.000 Matt, go ahead.

09:34:45.000 It's so amazing when they have these, I was watching it last night on the show, saying that, you know, 77% of women have reported being sexually abused at work.

09:34:55.000 And I'm not disagreeing with it, and I'm not disagreeing that what's going on right now, this purge, this outing of inappropriate behavior is good.

09:35:04.000 But you also start to question some of these studies, or the wage gap, where you feel women make 77 cents on the dollar, and you've seen it discredited.

09:35:14.000 You start to wonder about some of these statistics that people cherry-pick, and so often there are no sources cited on it.

09:35:21.000 Well, like CNN.

09:35:23.000 Right now they're breaking news.

09:35:24.000 You know what their breaking news is?

09:35:26.000 CNN poll.

09:35:26.000 I mean, they probably threw a poll up on their Facebook page.

09:35:30.000 And we know, you know, where you're the phrasing of a question can can can absolutely manipulate the outcome.

09:35:42.000 Like, do you think President Trump, who's been so irresponsible or who, you know, got peed on in a Russian hotel, how do you think he's handling it?

09:35:50.000 And you're like, well, clearly, you know, these questions can be guided.

09:35:53.000 I think it's incredibly difficult to phrase something in a truly neutral fashion or simply to ask someone just a question of how do you feel President Trump is handling Russia?

09:36:03.000 And I don't feel that when you look at, when you really get into these polls, I think a lot of times the biases of the people polling are revealed.

09:36:12.000 I would probably say I think he hasn't handled the Russia probe well just because he's been going off half-cocked on Twitter.

09:36:12.000 Well, you know what?

09:36:17.000 Now, he's mostly, this administration has mostly been vindicated when it comes to their direct interaction or any kind of collusion.

09:36:22.000 There's not a scrap of evidence.

09:36:25.000 They questioned, I think, McCabe yesterday for seven and a half hours.

09:36:29.000 They're like, no, there is no evidence of the Trump dossier.

09:36:31.000 Nothing that the FBI confirmed, right?

09:36:31.000 Nothing.

09:36:33.000 But if they were to ask me, I'd be like, yeah, I don't think Donald Trump's handling it well because he needs to shut up.

09:36:38.000 He just needs to shut up and let the truth come out.

09:36:39.000 Because the truth is helping him. 0.69

09:36:41.000 He's not.

09:36:42.000 So even I would be in that 56.

09:36:44.000 The misdirect of, did he handle it well?

09:36:47.000 No.

09:36:47.000 Has he done anything illegal?

09:36:49.000 You know, the implication and sort of where they conflate the two of, we don't think he's handling it well, therefore he should be impeached, is the natural conclusion.

09:36:58.000 Where do you go for news, Matt?

09:36:59.000 Because we were talking about this.

09:37:00.000 I think the same thing would obviously happen with Fox.

09:37:03.000 I don't go to the news.

09:37:05.000 I tend to go online.

09:37:07.000 For me, it's finding a mix of people.

09:37:12.000 I'll follow guys like Brian Stelter or Jake Tapper.

09:37:15.000 Me too.

09:37:16.000 I like to hear different points of view.

09:37:18.000 I think Tapper is a guy who tries to get it right.

09:37:23.000 He's a wiener.

09:37:24.000 He got mad at us because we did a meme that included him. 0.98

09:37:26.000 I was like, it's a meme, you wiener. 0.99

09:37:28.000 It usually has a good sense of humor, but I try to follow a variety of people and hear the different takes on a type of story and then try to do some research and draw my own conclusions.

09:37:41.000 But honestly, you know, again, I've said this, I was talking to your pops, and I'm like, one of the things that shocks me is as I listen to, you know, occasionally listen to the Young Turks, it's, Cenk is very hard, but you listen to it and you feel biases revealed.

09:37:56.000 And one of the things I appreciate is with louder with Crowder is you're very open about your points of view and you're very open to being challenged and that's another thing when i look at joe rogan i always appreciate joe ironically for this guy who's seen as kind of the meathead

09:38:13.000 um you know bow and arrow provider guy that he's a guy who i think is willing to have his ideas changed and challenged and to bring people in who disagrees with and rather than attack them say it's more that thing of like you do which is great is change my mind Yeah, I don't know.

09:38:33.000 It's one of those things.

09:38:34.000 We sat down.

09:38:35.000 I said, I don't know.

09:38:36.000 Is it me?

09:38:37.000 I said, you know, maybe I'm wrong.

09:38:38.000 Let's just sit down and have someone change their mind.

09:38:40.000 This is how it came about.

09:38:41.000 It was at a pitch meeting.

09:38:42.000 I said, but I don't want, you know, I can't have Sally Cohn come on and change my mind.

09:38:45.000 I can't have Christopher Titus come on and change my mind.

09:38:46.000 But just some, like, I don't know, some liberal on campus.

09:38:49.000 I just wonder if there's something I've missed.

09:38:51.000 And then I said, you know what?

09:38:53.000 Let's just go on there and actually listen.

09:38:53.000 Let's do that.

09:38:56.000 And then they have a segment that has millions... It's the opposite of cable news.

09:38:59.000 It's unlimited time, unedited.

09:39:00.000 I think people are craving that.

09:39:02.000 And I think it's because of today.

09:39:03.000 I mean, look how dishonest this is.

09:39:05.000 At the very least, you know where people stand with those segments.

09:39:08.000 I think that's what people are craving now.

09:39:11.000 I watched an episode of Sarah Silverman's I Love You America, which I thought was a similar premise to Change My Mind.

09:39:20.000 But when I watched it, I felt like Um, you know, she chose a family of Trump supporters who were, I thought, probably, you know, exaggerated caricatures. 1.00

09:39:31.000 And there was always kind of a wink at the camera of, aren't these people idiots? 0.97

09:39:35.000 Even though it's open and I'm like, Sarah, I thought she missed to do a genuine show where she really went into somebody who's, who's semi-informed, you know, where, You don't want to choose, you want to choose someone like on a college campus or someone who theoretically would have some informational backing because it's so easy to cherry pick and find someone who says, I don't like gun control, but they're not going to have statistics to back it up and you can embarrass them. 0.98

09:40:01.000 But to have someone come on who's like, all right, I want someone who's relatively informed and let's have an honest discussion.

09:40:07.000 And, and I think to me, that's so much more productive to have two people respectfully disagree.

09:40:13.000 Here's the thing, it's productive if the people are willing to have an honest conversation.

09:40:18.000 If they don't, it's productive for the person watching.

09:40:20.000 So a good example, we've had several different change my mind.

09:40:23.000 So the first one was just me talking with college kids and one of them changed their mind.

09:40:29.000 And then one, when she realized she didn't have a leg to stand on, said, I'm trans disabled.

09:40:33.000 And I noticed that's a big thing that changed my mind.

09:40:35.000 The second, they think, oh wait, maybe I'm not making my points very well. 0.96

09:40:38.000 Well, as a woman who could be raped, or as a trans-disabled, or as, you know, a quadriplegic black Jew with rickets, whatever it is, you know, they just pick something. 0.99

09:40:47.000 They're the most, you know, oppressed class du jour. 0.98

09:40:49.000 We've noticed that with every single change of my mind.

09:40:51.000 But then, there were some, for example, there was an hour change of my mind with pro-life, and I realized the lady was fine with abortion up until nine months. 1.00

09:40:59.000 And so you realize sometimes it's futile.

09:41:01.000 And that was more productive for the audience, because even though it was cringe-worthy, and you're like, why isn't, why is this going nowhere?

09:41:07.000 Because sometimes it's okay to say, you know what, we're not gonna find common ground if you're okay with abortion up to nine months.

09:41:12.000 And then the next ones were, some people came up and threatened me, some people, you get both, and you have to accept that going in.

09:41:17.000 But if you don't have honesty in your approach, I don't know, to me, it's just valueless.

09:41:22.000 And watching CNN today, I mean, I tell you, Matt, I'd much rather be waterboarded Again, than doing 16 hours of CNN.

09:41:29.000 This is really painful because I'm getting mad.

09:41:32.000 And I don't want to be mad all day, but they're just, nothing is honest.

09:41:35.000 It's something, and I go back to Owen Benjamin.

09:41:39.000 I really think he's a thoughtful guy who, some people are like he's going off the deep edge, but I love the honesty.

09:41:45.000 And one of the things he said was, I'm always willing to have a discussion with someone if I feel we have shared values.

09:41:52.000 So if the idea is we ultimately want people in America to be healthier, we may just disagree about whether the government should do it or private enterprise should do it.

09:42:01.000 We can have that discussion to have a discussion with someone about, you know, the value of life and when abortion can go.

09:42:08.000 If you truly believe they they they share the same value, you.

09:42:12.000 You can have a discussion and an honest disagreement.

09:42:15.000 If you feel in the end, we kind of want the same things, like, you know, a healthier populace, a safer life, and we just disagree about how to get there, you feel like, are you going for the gun there or something else?

09:42:26.000 No, I was moving it because I realized it had ridden up in a weird way and it looked like an uptuck.

09:42:34.000 It's one of those things where I'm like, I'm always happy to discuss with someone I disagree with someone.

09:42:39.000 Where, you know, you say, but I, but I believe that we both want the best for this country.

09:42:47.000 I don't think we do anymore though, Matt.

09:42:48.000 I don't think we do anymore.

09:42:50.000 And that's when, and that was one of the points that Owen makes is that's what's scary is when you see people, when you feel like we don't have that common goal, that's when I think it gets scary because then it becomes intractable.

09:43:02.000 It used to be every debate.

09:43:04.000 If you used to be like Dawkins, Dinesh D'Souza, Christopher Hitchens, whoever it was, they would say, I disagree with you, but I'll fight to the death for your right to say it.

09:43:12.000 Now it's just like, you can't say this because I don't like it.

09:43:15.000 And so I think that's the big thing with Change My Mind.

09:43:17.000 It's not about finding common ground.

09:43:19.000 It's about finding truth.

09:43:20.000 And the truth is, a lot of people don't really want the same things anymore.

09:43:23.000 But Matt, we do have to get going.

09:43:25.000 Where's the best place for people to find you?

09:43:26.000 You've got to be in some Hallmark Christmas movies or something, right?

09:43:29.000 Is it Hallmark Channel?

09:43:30.000 I just got let go from the Hallmark Channel.

09:43:34.000 There's a caroling job open for you. 0.99

09:43:34.000 Dammit, I'm sorry. 0.99

09:43:35.000 show but it was a great run it's all it's there's a caroling job open for you the american ninja warrior experience is our next thing we're actually going to be touring live go to anw experience.com or find me on twitter at matt eisman instagram and matt eisman facebook matt eisman or find me watching you guys and trolling not gay jared i'm such a horrible human It was the cross eyes. 0.99

09:44:01.000 I was like, Hey Matt, are you getting some sun in your eye?

09:44:01.000 It was last time.

09:44:03.000 And you're like, no, I actually have a problem with my eye. 0.99

09:44:05.000 And I was like, oh damn. 0.99

09:44:06.000 And then this, I'm like Hallmark. 0.99

09:44:08.000 And you're like, I just got fired.

09:44:09.000 Honestly, you know what?

09:44:11.000 It's, it's one of those things though.

09:44:13.000 Like it's free enterprise.

09:44:15.000 You let me go.

09:44:16.000 And it's, it's the kind of thing of, you know, why I appreciate what you've done creating your own.

09:44:21.000 And I often talk to, I was just on with Anthony Cumia and I send out my best to Artie Lang, another guy who's like, I'm going to create my own thing that no one can take away from me because otherwise you work at the pleasure of people and particularly when you do what you do where you have an exchange of ideas that you believe in.

09:44:38.000 It's important I think to create your own safety net because otherwise someone disagrees with you and and we see that now in this industry.

09:44:48.000 Conservative people come out and their careers are gone.

09:44:51.000 That's why.

09:44:52.000 I come on this show but I'm very neutral and very It's true. 0.95

09:44:55.000 You're very friendly and I make fun of your eyes and your previous employer.

09:44:58.000 I'm a horrible person.

09:44:59.000 We'll send you a free t-shirt.

09:45:00.000 At Matt Eisman.

09:45:01.000 We must go, sir.

09:45:02.000 Thank you.

09:45:02.000 Have a Merry Christmas.

09:45:03.000 See you guys.

09:45:04.000 Merry Christmas.

09:45:05.000 Take care.

09:45:05.000 Bye.

09:45:06.000 You're right.

09:45:06.000 I'm an awful human being.

09:45:09.000 Remember that almost happened the first time we had Owen on.

09:45:11.000 We didn't know who this guy was.

09:45:14.000 If you looked on the webcam, he had this giant gaping black spot on his teeth.

09:45:21.000 Oh, that's right with Owen.

09:45:22.000 I'm like, is that a piece of food?

09:45:24.000 Or is he missing teeth there?

09:45:24.000 Yeah.

09:45:26.000 And we finally brought it up, and he was like, oh, it's broccoli.

09:45:29.000 Buying his time.

09:45:30.000 Yeah.

09:45:31.000 Hopper just, Hopper came in with a bow, and it's gone.

09:45:32.000 And it's gone.

09:45:33.000 It's gone.

09:45:34.000 is here.

09:45:34.000 G. Morgan Jr.

09:45:35.000 I have a wine of the day, finally.

09:45:37.000 Is that one that people can actually open?

09:45:37.000 Right?

09:45:39.000 Yeah, this is for you guys here.

09:45:40.000 Y'all have had to watch CNN for so long, I figured a one liter of Caymus Cabernet... Is that good?

09:45:46.000 It's very good.

09:45:47.000 Yeah, the sound guy Edward over there is clapping.

09:45:50.000 Wait, is that the one that we had in the boat?

09:45:52.000 Uh, no.

09:45:53.000 No, that's not the one. 1.00

09:45:53.000 Dammit! 1.00

09:45:55.000 Jackie, you know the wine we're talking about! 1.00

09:45:56.000 Is that a different one?

09:45:58.000 It's a different one, I know.

09:45:59.000 Is it?

09:45:59.000 I don't know the one we're talking about.

09:45:59.000 I'm kidding.

09:46:00.000 The one that we have in the boat.

09:46:01.000 So you would like this one, I think.

09:46:02.000 So we're gonna open this one up, hopefully, in a little while.

09:46:02.000 Okay.

09:46:04.000 I don't know if you can drink on air.

09:46:05.000 Is that a thing?

09:46:06.000 Yeah, we can do whatever we want on air.

09:46:08.000 I'm kidding, I know.

09:46:08.000 Let's bring up some CNN.

09:46:09.000 Did you hear the... You heard the Cariller story.

09:46:11.000 Oh, gosh.

09:46:12.000 I heard the tail end of it.

09:46:13.000 Okay.

09:46:13.000 It's insane.

09:46:14.000 Well, you heard the now note, tiny... Okay, here we go.

09:46:16.000 John O'Brien.

09:46:17.000 The Trump-admitted threat to retaliate against nations that exercise sovereign right to... is beyond outrageous.

09:46:21.000 Shows real Donald Trump blindly expects loyalty and subservience from everyone.

09:46:24.000 The qualities used found in narcissistic, vengeful autocrats.

09:46:27.000 Here's the thing. 0.98

09:46:28.000 I do think that Donald Trump is narcissistic and vengeful.

09:46:31.000 But I don't think he is at all out of line when this is a vote at the UN simply to condemn. 0.72

09:46:31.000 Yes. 0.72

09:46:37.000 It's basically a vote to try and chastise and embarrass the United States to say, all right, we're not giving you any more money.

09:46:43.000 Am I the only one who thinks that's entirely reasonable?

09:46:46.000 I think it's reasonable.

09:46:47.000 We cut their allowance a little bit and say, all right, you want to lash out at mom and dad a little bit?

09:46:51.000 Fine, go for it.

09:46:52.000 And this is one of those moments where I appreciate the Donald Trump that does double down.

09:46:57.000 I don't want a Donald Trump.

09:46:58.000 Oh, I'm sorry.

09:46:58.000 I don't want a Obama.

09:46:59.000 My bad.

09:46:59.000 I'm sorry.

09:47:00.000 My bad.

09:47:00.000 I don't want a Donald Trump that says, you know what?

09:47:03.000 And it has!

09:47:03.000 It has no teeth, right?

09:47:05.000 This has no teeth.

09:47:06.000 There's nothing to it.

09:47:07.000 It's the UN doing what the UN does, which is absolutely zero.

09:47:11.000 They sit there and they talk about stuff, but they don't actually do anything.

09:47:16.000 It's the same UN that does that.

09:47:18.000 Yeah, they came to like, hey, we're going to vote.

09:47:19.000 We'll give you like Tobago and Trinidad.

09:47:21.000 We'll give you Guatemala. 0.99

09:47:23.000 We'll give you the Micronesia.

09:47:25.000 But everybody else is going to vote against you.

09:47:27.000 Trump's like, yeah, all right.

09:47:28.000 That's fine with me.

09:47:29.000 It's just so funny, he gets a serious face on him.

09:47:40.000 Okay, so developing now.

09:47:42.000 Oh my gosh, Rebekah again!

09:47:42.000 German.

09:47:44.000 Developing now.

09:47:45.000 UN votes 128 to 9 to condemn Trump's Jerusalem decision.

09:47:48.000 Okay, but hold on a second.

09:47:50.000 How can that be developing now if the tweet that you just posted from Brennan is half a day, it was like posted at two.

09:47:57.000 So how can this be developing now if he is condemning Donald Trump's statement to the vote?

09:48:03.000 So for that tweet to occur, there had to be the vote, Donald Trump's statement, And then, I just forgot his name.

09:48:10.000 Andrew, is Brenner?

09:48:12.000 Andrew, oh, he has three names.

09:48:13.000 Andrew what?

09:48:14.000 Brenner.

09:48:14.000 Andrew, ah.

09:48:15.000 I don't know that.

09:48:16.000 Anyway, the point is three things have had to occur, but now they're still saying developing now.

09:48:16.000 I'm sorry.

09:48:20.000 How is this developing now?

09:48:21.000 It's not.

09:48:22.000 They're Chiron stuck. 1.00

09:48:23.000 None of this is.

09:48:24.000 They're Chiron stuck. 1.00

09:48:25.000 I can't believe.

09:48:26.000 Oh, my gosh.

09:48:28.000 This is just what we have to deal with.

09:48:30.000 Now here's the deal.

09:48:31.000 It's a slow news cycle, right?

09:48:33.000 Because it's Christmas.

09:48:34.000 I love this.

09:48:35.000 Nikki Haley's quote.

09:48:36.000 We're gonna remember this when you ask us for money.

09:48:40.000 As well we should!

09:48:41.000 How is that not entirely appropriate?

09:48:42.000 That's reasonable.

09:48:43.000 Let's get a poll up on Twitter.

09:48:44.000 Do you think it's reasonable for the United States to withhold funding from nations who voted to chastise us over Israel?

09:48:52.000 Put out a poll.

09:48:54.000 Yes, no, or choice number three, Tay is not gay Jared.

09:49:00.000 Do you think it's reasonable for the United States to withhold funding from UN nations who Voted to chastise the United States.

09:49:00.000 Can you repeat?

09:49:10.000 Voted to embarrass... I mean, to me, this is a vote... It's inconsequential, right?

09:49:14.000 The whole purpose for it is grandstanding to flip the bird to the United States.

09:49:17.000 But they shouldn't have done it.

09:49:18.000 They shouldn't have done it.

09:49:19.000 You don't pick on the guy that's funding your operation.

09:49:21.000 I know!

09:49:21.000 We give them more money than anyone.

09:49:24.000 Yeah.

09:49:25.000 We allow... Look, the UN isn't what has kept us out of war for the past X number of years, having a world war, right?

09:49:31.000 Since 1945.

09:49:32.000 It helps, obviously, having that?

09:49:34.000 The fact that we're dominant is what has kept us out of having a world war.

09:49:34.000 No!

09:49:38.000 I don't think it helps at all.

09:49:40.000 I understand NATO, particularly post-World War II.

09:49:42.000 And we're talking about Poland.

09:49:42.000 Right.

09:49:44.000 Well, hold on.

09:49:44.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

09:49:45.000 Sven Computer, you probably know the history of NATO more than I do, right?

09:49:48.000 Because that directly involves your homeland more.

09:49:51.000 Right?

09:49:51.000 NATO?

09:49:52.000 And then you talk about...

09:49:53.000 Do you know a lot about NATO?

09:49:54.000 I would know more about the European Union in general, but, I mean...

09:49:58.000 B.B. B.B., it's just, like, obviously after World War II, you kind of wanted to have the world stick together.

09:50:04.000 BB, at least the civilized part.

09:50:06.000 Right, yeah.

09:50:07.000 The rest of those guys we didn't really care about.

09:50:09.000 Well explain for people who don't know the difference between like the UN and NATO.

09:50:11.000 NATO is actually about like military, military alignment.

09:50:15.000 Yeah, it's basically the counter form against the Warsaw Pact, BB, that the Soviet Union had with all their satellite states.

09:50:25.000 Yeah.

09:50:26.000 So yeah, and actually the U.S.

09:50:28.000 was a little bit reluctant in letting in Germany into NATO because, you know, sketchy Germans. 1.00

09:50:35.000 We love you now. 1.00

09:50:36.000 You guys are kind of jerks. 1.00

09:50:38.000 You're going to lower that over them for so long? 1.00

09:50:38.000 Yeah, but that's the thing. 1.00

09:50:40.000 Well, here's what's funny.

09:50:41.000 Another century.

09:50:42.000 I don't ever hear Republicans.

09:50:43.000 I think that was one thing where Donald Trump, if I'm not mistaken, I don't think he ever did.

09:50:47.000 But he was criticized maybe at one point for saying he wanted a pull from NATO.

09:50:50.000 And I was going, ooh, that's really not super intelligent.

09:50:54.000 NATO has a valid reason for existence.

09:50:57.000 We benefit the least from NATO compared to European nations.

09:50:57.000 Yeah.

09:51:00.000 But I'm like, are they killing this guy?

09:51:02.000 They're trying to.

09:51:03.000 That was last week.

09:51:04.000 That was last week?

09:51:05.000 It's breaking news!

09:51:06.000 That was last week and it's breaking news?

09:51:07.000 Yeah.

09:51:08.000 And this is the problem with the 24-hour news cycle.

09:51:10.000 Here's the thing, we have to do it once, and obviously these people get prepped for one hour, and they can't even come. 1.00

09:51:15.000 We're doing this once, a whole 16-hour cycle, to prove to you that it is complete and total bullshit. 0.99

09:51:22.000 And also to torture ourselves. 0.97

09:51:23.000 So that's why you need to join loudearthcrowder.com.

09:51:25.000 The only people who are going to call them on it... You guys say, why don't you broadcast?

09:51:30.000 You don't want us broadcasting all day.

09:51:32.000 Because at some point we have to lie to you.

09:51:34.000 And dilute the content.

09:51:35.000 It's $99 annually.

09:51:36.000 $69 for students, veterans, or active military.

09:51:38.000 Just enter the promo code studentveteranmilitary.

09:51:41.000 You get our show.

09:51:42.000 You get Gavin McGinnis.

09:51:42.000 You get Phil Robertson.

09:51:43.000 You get Michelle Malkin.

09:51:44.000 You get Mark Levin.

09:51:45.000 You get...

09:51:46.000 We're a late night show, but we don't have to be a 24-hour news cycle.

09:51:49.000 No.

09:51:49.000 What's crazy to me is we have a hit list.

09:51:51.000 We'll go through it at the end when we finalize.

09:51:52.000 Grinders.

09:51:52.000 We're the only ones who are going to call these people on it.

09:51:54.000 And the wonder is, we're a late night show, but we don't have to be a 24-hour news cycle.

09:51:58.000 What's crazy to me is we have a hit list.

09:51:58.000 No.

09:52:00.000 We'll go through it at the end.

09:52:01.000 When we finalize, also we'll show you the end of YouTube, Carol.

09:52:03.000 If you have to fabricate news, you were talking about this, they always fabricate it from a leftist point of view.

09:52:10.000 Right.

09:52:11.000 And it amazes me that they still even try, what's offensive to me is they still even try to feign this concept of being fair-minded. 0.99

09:52:19.000 But is it that the left, and I say this with all due respect, is it that you're so stupid that you actually buy it and only the left can get away with this? 0.95

09:52:26.000 Or is it that that's just where the money is at from corporations and things like that, and so they have to do it to appease the kind of people that are going to fund these programs. 0.98

09:52:35.000 It's a genuine question, because I know Foxlean's way right, obviously, right?

09:52:38.000 Yeah.

09:52:39.000 And he gets a lot of, like, gold sponsors and, you know, make seniors spend all their money kind of sponsors.

09:52:43.000 Because the world's going to end tomorrow.

09:52:43.000 Yeah, reverse mortgages.

09:52:45.000 I get it.

09:52:46.000 Uncirculated silver dollar.

09:52:47.000 Uncirculated silver dollars.

09:53:09.000 So, here we go, they're showing us again today this whole yawning lady.

09:53:13.000 I've seen this commercial at least 50 times.

09:53:14.000 Tylenol PM.

09:53:15.000 Tylenol PM.

09:53:16.000 This is unbelievable to me that this is a day of news.

09:53:19.000 So really, we've only... This is no news either.

09:53:21.000 I don't know that there's been a real piece of news.

09:53:22.000 Well, the Australian attack.

09:53:24.000 They haven't covered it!

09:53:24.000 Other than that, okay.

09:53:25.000 Well, no, that's what I'm saying.

09:53:27.000 Like, there's been a piece of news that happened today, but they haven't covered it.

09:53:29.000 Or at least accurately covered it.

09:53:30.000 Have they covered it yet, Sven Computer?

09:53:32.000 The vote.

09:53:32.000 Fact check us.

09:53:33.000 Yeah?

09:53:34.000 Sven Computer?

09:53:35.000 You're our fact checker.

09:53:37.000 So what do you want, fact check?

09:53:38.000 fact check has cnn covered since we've been watching i went to the bathroom did they cover at all the melbourne attack i don't think so i don't think so okay good i can't hear you thank you um this is like hazing it just never gets fun computer made a great point about how they're gonna try and chalk it up to mental illness but it's just so brilliant the way the guy framed it so computer make your point It had us laughing, but it's a good point.

09:54:00.000 And by the way, people, if you want to talk, go along with the stream.

09:54:03.000 Hashtag CrowderCNN livestream.

09:54:04.000 As we go into prime time, we want to be a real thorn in their side.

09:54:08.000 We have a grand finale, a slam-bang show set up for you guys.

09:54:11.000 But you were saying this about the Afghani Muslim who committed a terror attack.

09:54:16.000 It was a good point.

09:54:17.000 Make it again.

09:54:18.000 Yes.

09:54:19.000 Beep-beep. 0.99

09:54:20.000 So, I mean, actually, the police came out with a statement today.

09:54:23.000 Beep-beep. 0.99

09:54:24.000 But because His condition improved in the hospital and they talked to him and they came out and said that this guy said that he was basically talking to his toaster in his free time but also it was because Muslims are mistreated.

09:54:41.000 So it was kind of already setting the stage for when he has to make his point in front of a court.

09:54:51.000 I'm crazy. 0.99

09:54:52.000 Yeah, I'm crazy, but also you mistreat Muslims. 0.99

09:54:54.000 Yeah, exactly. 0.76

09:54:57.000 How much do you want to bet his main motivation there was probably the mistreatment of Muslims?

09:55:04.000 That is a brilliant strategy, though.

09:55:07.000 The first thing I do... 0.98

09:55:08.000 If ever I kill someone in a fit of rage, I'm eating a pile of my own crap right afterwards and throwing it across the floor. 0.98

09:55:15.000 Let's start a Twitter poll on that. 0.97

09:55:16.000 I'm gonna do a Tyler Durden.

09:55:18.000 You don't know where I've been!

09:55:21.000 So they call me and I'm like, well your honor, clearly I was out of my mind.

09:55:24.000 It was temporary insanity.

09:55:26.000 I'm not crazy anymore.

09:55:28.000 So we're good to go, right?

09:55:28.000 I'm good.

09:55:29.000 30 days in a solarium and you're back on the streets.

09:55:32.000 It'll look like that movie with Robert De Niro and Parkinson's.

09:55:34.000 You put me in for a little bit, they'll give me some medication, I'll be high for a few days, and then you let me out, right?

09:55:41.000 Yeah.

09:55:41.000 What were you saying at Sven Computer?

09:55:42.000 No?

09:55:43.000 No, no?

09:55:44.000 Yeah, we have a broad consensus on the poll we sent out regarding the U.S.

09:55:48.000 and the nations who voted against the U.S.

09:55:52.000 today, and 94% agree that we should withhold funding.

09:55:56.000 Withhold funding.

09:55:56.000 Yes!

09:55:58.000 Okay, we all agree that we should withhold funding.

09:56:00.000 There's still in the world.

09:56:01.000 Oh gosh, I forgot!

09:56:02.000 It's the, it's the, hold on a second.

09:56:03.000 This should be Not Gay Jared's hour. 0.99

09:56:05.000 This is the situation with Wolf Blitzer.

09:56:06.000 Bring it up.

09:56:09.000 Look at him run.

09:56:10.000 I'm free!

09:56:11.000 Well, did he get killed?

09:56:12.000 Because it's not funny to get killed.

09:56:13.000 No, he didn't get killed, I don't think.

09:56:16.000 There was no Chris Cuomo today.

09:56:16.000 Hey, wait!

09:56:21.000 No, he's in the morning.

09:56:23.000 We were streaming, he was not there.

09:56:27.000 No, he was not.

09:56:27.000 Don't tell me we had a day where we streamed and it wasn't Chris Cuomo.

09:56:30.000 I think he missed his mark, or we missed ours, I don't know.

09:56:33.000 This was last month's escape, maybe not today's.

09:56:33.000 Look at this.

09:56:35.000 Yeah.

09:56:35.000 Left a frozen hell.

09:56:36.000 Hey, by the way, did you notice anything?

09:56:37.000 There?

09:56:37.000 Maybe not today's.

09:56:38.000 Yeah.

09:56:38.000 Left a frozen hell.

09:56:38.000 No.

09:56:44.000 Hey, by the way, did you notice anything?

09:56:46.000 There?

09:56:47.000 No.

09:56:48.000 There's a wall.

09:56:52.000 It's a fence.

09:56:53.000 It's a fence with barbed wire, but the principal's assigned it.

09:56:57.000 Yeah, seems to work for South Korea.

09:56:59.000 Seems to work.

09:57:00.000 By the way, you have to.

09:57:03.000 Like, here's the truth.

09:57:05.000 You can't, you can only know the difference by the uniform.

09:57:07.000 I mean, do you think South Koreans can tell the difference between North Koreans and South Koreans?

09:57:12.000 Physically, aesthetically?

09:57:13.000 No.

09:57:13.000 Yeah.

09:57:14.000 Hey, it's confirmed.

09:57:14.000 No way.

09:57:15.000 Last week on Morning Grinders, we had facial recognition software that could not tell Asians apart.

09:57:21.000 Scientific evidence.

09:57:22.000 They are genetically the same people, right?

09:57:24.000 Because they, I mean, they just basically just put the wall in, right?

09:57:27.000 Well, except I think North Koreans are on average like five inches shorter or something now because they're malnourished. 1.00

09:57:31.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

09:57:31.000 Bring that up.

09:57:32.000 Hey, Sven, bring that up as a research overlay here when you can.

09:57:35.000 I believe that, yeah, North Koreans are a significant amount shorter because of communism.

09:57:40.000 Yeah, communism makes short, sterile men.

09:57:45.000 That's not fake news.

09:57:46.000 Get off your phone!

09:57:47.000 Listen, Chief.

09:57:48.000 I'm coordinating with people that need to be coordinated with.

09:57:50.000 Alright, fine.

09:57:52.000 So let's get up that overlay and then, Sven, we will do some more Mug Club announcements after that.

09:57:57.000 We've had a lot of people joining up with Mug Club today.

09:57:59.000 Very appreciative.

09:58:00.000 We have some breaking news that's not being covered.

09:58:02.000 Papa John.

09:58:03.000 Not Papa John's.

09:58:04.000 Papa John is one of the top trends right now.

09:58:07.000 Oh no, did he die? 0.99

09:58:08.000 No, I was concerned he raped somebody. 0.99

09:58:10.000 Thank God he did not. 0.98

09:58:12.000 But he is stepping down, apparently, from Papa John's amidst allegations from white supremacists.

09:58:17.000 Protest true support for white supremacists.

09:58:19.000 You're breaking the rules.

09:58:20.000 You're supposed to only watch CNN.

09:58:22.000 It's all the news that's fit.

09:58:22.000 Not real news.

09:58:24.000 But hey, I'm pointing out the things they are omissioning.

09:58:27.000 Not covering, okay. 0.99

09:58:28.000 Someone's got to call them on their bullshit omissions. 0.98

09:58:30.000 Now on Sven computer, you have the overlay? 0.99

09:58:30.000 That's true, okay. 0.99

09:58:32.000 Is it the height?

09:58:33.000 Yes, North Koreans, this is from BBC, North Koreans on average are up to 3.1 inch shorter. 1.00

09:58:38.000 Gosh, damn. 1.00

09:58:40.000 That's a Korean penis difference. 1.00

09:58:41.000 Look at this, yeah. 1.00

09:58:43.000 Yeah.

09:58:44.000 Wow.

09:58:44.000 Beep beep.

09:58:46.000 It was a swing and a miss, I'll give you that one.

09:58:48.000 Where are we going?

09:58:49.000 It was a swing and a miss.

09:58:50.000 Yeah, there you go.

09:58:51.000 Thank you.

09:58:52.000 We've got crotch issues here. 0.99

09:58:54.000 It's confirmed! 0.90

09:58:56.000 It is confirmed.

09:59:01.000 Oh my gosh. 0.99

09:59:02.000 This sucks to be in North Korea. 0.98

09:59:04.000 I just find this crazy that we've gone through all this and no mention of the Muslim revenge attack in Melbourne. 0.99

09:59:11.000 Nothing?

09:59:12.000 So Papa John is stepping down.

09:59:13.000 And then Sven, you can get to the new Mug Club members. 0.92

09:59:15.000 By the way, for Mug Club members, we ring the bell. 0.70

09:59:16.000 For people who join Mug Club, Sven will be reading out some overlays.

09:59:19.000 Papa John's stepping down.

09:59:20.000 Why?

09:59:21.000 Because people were mad because of the NFL thing and all that?

09:59:24.000 This is unbiased as it gets.

09:59:24.000 This is from The Hill.

09:59:25.000 It says, Papa John's CEO stepped down after remarks on NFL protests drew support from white supremacists.

09:59:31.000 Why is that his fault?

09:59:32.000 I wouldn't think it would be.

09:59:33.000 Could be.

09:59:33.000 More appropriate from Truth and Sheed.

09:59:35.000 So Papa John Pizza is basically rearranging titles of the CEO who made racially toned comments about black NFL players protesting systemic white supremacy. 0.98

09:59:42.000 We are still not eating their nasty pizzas. 0.86

09:59:45.000 Funny enough, I think they have one of the best pizzas going around.

09:59:48.000 Yeah, I know.

09:59:50.000 Uh, no, I don't think they have best of anything.

09:59:50.000 For delivery?

09:59:53.000 Ah!

09:59:53.000 Uh, Sven Computer, overlays of new Mug Club members.

09:59:56.000 Let us know, tweet me, at S. Crowder, if you, uh, have joined the Mug Club today.

09:59:59.000 Can we free- can we, uh, refresh it there?

09:59:59.000 It's frozen on that!

10:00:01.000 Uh, it's not gonna- it has to refresh the screen.

10:00:02.000 So, yeah.

10:00:02.000 Yeah.

10:00:03.000 If you join Mug Club, we will ring the bell, read your name out, and by the way, every time- every time someone joins Mug Club, Muhammad is sexually accosted in hell. 0.92

10:00:11.000 Yeah, what were you- you already- you have one? 0.54

10:00:13.000 Yeah, we have- we have multiple ones.

10:00:15.000 Okay, alright, let's read them out here, Sven.

10:00:15.000 Oh!

10:00:17.000 You have to give us the name while we get the CNN feedback.

10:00:19.000 Ben Harrison.

10:00:20.000 Dan Harrison, hey!

10:00:21.000 Thank you very much.

10:00:24.000 John Kan at Joseph Kan 16.

10:00:26.000 There we go.

10:00:27.000 Thank you for joining Mug Club today.

10:00:28.000 We appreciate it.

10:00:29.000 Kind of good gamer.

10:00:30.000 There we go.

10:00:30.000 Thank you very much.

10:00:31.000 Kind of good gamer.

10:00:33.000 Become a better gamer.

10:00:34.000 William Trash, nice last name.

10:00:37.000 There you go.

10:00:39.000 Travis, I'm not even going to try to pronounce that.

10:00:42.000 Beep beep.

10:00:45.000 And veteran Heath also joined.

10:00:48.000 Thank you for your service.

10:00:49.000 I hope you use a veteran discount.

10:00:53.000 Thank you very much.

10:00:53.000 Emily Weber.

10:00:55.000 Okay, Emily what?

10:00:57.000 Viva, that's the German word for Viva. 0.68

10:00:58.000 Is that the last one?

10:00:59.000 Viva.

10:01:00.000 Is that the last one?

10:01:00.000 Viva.

10:01:01.000 Yeah, that's the last one.

10:01:02.000 So there we go, thank you!

10:01:03.000 Every time you join Mug Club! 0.96

10:01:05.000 Muhammad's having a bad day! 1.00

10:01:08.000 It's Wednesday in hell for Muhammad. 1.00

10:01:11.000 Do you guys know that joke?

10:01:12.000 Yes.

10:01:13.000 Oh, you know that joke.

10:01:14.000 I do.

10:01:14.000 I just don't know how to say it.

10:01:15.000 By the way, tweet me.

10:01:17.000 How are you guys at Sven Computer?

10:01:18.000 Tweet me at scrowd.

10:01:19.000 Are you guys liking Sven Computer?

10:01:20.000 He's a research machine.

10:01:21.000 Are you happy to have him?

10:01:22.000 He's going to be doing some research for us in the new year.

10:01:26.000 At Sven Computer.

10:01:26.000 Show him you love him.

10:01:27.000 I don't like where he's at.

10:01:28.000 Sven, do you know the joke about Wednesday in hell?

10:01:32.000 No.

10:01:33.000 Hey, I can't hear you.

10:01:37.000 Okay, so this is one of my, this is one of my, this is a joke that my...

10:01:42.000 My dad told me, but he told me the clean version as a kid.

10:01:45.000 I think I told you this joke, though.

10:01:46.000 Oh, you have, for sure.

10:01:47.000 Oh, okay, but it's not a joke, like, that you knew before.

10:01:50.000 Uh, I don't know.

10:01:50.000 Okay, so it's not a joke that everybody knows.

10:01:52.000 Okay, so a guy dies, okay, and he dies and he shows up in hell.

10:01:56.000 So here's an old man joke for ya.

10:01:58.000 Hashtag CrowderCNN livestream.

10:02:00.000 I want everyone out there, okay, part of the Crowder army, because people are coming home from work, a lot of people aren't aware of the livestream.

10:02:05.000 I want everyone to hashtag CrowderCNN livestream Send out the punchline, because it's a one-phrase punchline.

10:02:13.000 I'll give it to you, and I want you to send it out, because that's why I'll tell you about Muhammad, how it ties in afterwards. 0.93

10:02:19.000 So be ready for the punchline.

10:02:21.000 All of the Crowder Army out there, Crowderheads, hashtag CrowderCNNLivestream. 0.90

10:02:24.000 So this guy dies. 0.79

10:02:25.000 He finds himself in hell.

10:02:26.000 Yeah.

10:02:27.000 So he's walking through hell, and there are all of these beautiful chandeliers.

10:02:31.000 It's like a five-star hotel he's going through.

10:02:34.000 And he says, where am I?

10:02:37.000 And Satan comes out.

10:02:38.000 And he says, hey, man, how you doing? 0.77

10:02:39.000 Welcome to hell.

10:02:41.000 And he says, well, this is hell.

10:02:42.000 This is not, I can't imagine this.

10:02:44.000 This is not what I expected.

10:02:45.000 He says, well, yeah, no, we get kind of a bad wrap up there, you know, the big guy.

10:02:48.000 No, no, no, this is hell.

10:02:49.000 This is what it is.

10:02:50.000 It's not what you expect.

10:02:51.000 I said, hey, listen, do you like food?

10:02:51.000 He's like, why?

10:02:54.000 Are you a foodie at all?

10:02:54.000 And the guy goes, well, look, that's how I died of coronary.

10:02:57.000 He says, yeah, I love food.

10:02:57.000 He's an overweight guy.

10:02:58.000 He goes, oh, my gosh, you're going to love Mondays.

10:03:01.000 We have the biggest buffet that you've ever seen.

10:03:03.000 And, of course, we also have a la carte, made to order.

10:03:05.000 The best chefs are down here.

10:03:07.000 Monday, it's just all day, all you can eat the best food.

10:03:10.000 My gosh, it sounds amazing.

10:03:11.000 He's like, yeah, you know, hell's not what you think.

10:03:12.000 He goes, hey, by the way, do you like to gamble?

10:03:15.000 Are you a casino guy?

10:03:15.000 Like, are you a gambler?

10:03:16.000 He goes, well, yeah, that's why my second wife left me.

10:03:18.000 He goes, oh my gosh, we have the best casino.

10:03:21.000 All of hell turns into the casino.

10:03:23.000 Better than any Vegas casino on Tuesday.

10:03:26.000 Drinks, girls, anything you want on the house, free all day, Tuesday. 0.51

10:03:31.000 If you're a gambler, you're going to love Tuesdays.

10:03:32.000 My guess is, this is really, I'm really surprised. 0.99

10:03:35.000 He goes, hey, by the way, do you love being gang raped by angry, horrible men nonstop without mercy? 0.99

10:03:42.000 And the man says, no, of course not. 0.99

10:03:46.000 Satan goes, oh, you're going to hate Wednesdays.

10:03:53.000 Muhammad hates Wednesdays. 0.99

10:03:56.000 I wanna see that hashtag out there.

10:03:58.000 MohammedHatesWednesdays. 0.94

10:04:00.000 Hashtag ConnorCNLivestream.

10:04:02.000 It's just, it's not my joke.

10:04:03.000 It was a joke that I remember my dad told me.

10:04:05.000 He was like, do you, he was trying, I remember, he used to tell me jokes when I was a little kid, but he told me like, hey, do you like, but he told me, hey, do you like being pickpocketed and robbed and beaten up and bullies?

10:04:16.000 I was like, no, he's like, you're going to hate Wednesdays.

10:04:16.000 Yeah, right.

10:04:17.000 And I was like, that's so funny.

10:04:19.000 There could be nothing worse than being mugged.

10:04:22.000 Turns out there is.

10:04:24.000 And that's what happens in Wednesdays.

10:04:25.000 Punchline for your dad also could have been that it was Detroit all along.

10:04:28.000 It was Detroit all along.

10:04:30.000 That's true. 0.97

10:04:31.000 You go to hell, you show up and they say, we're full. 0.98

10:04:33.000 Detroit. 0.99

10:04:34.000 Detroit.

10:04:35.000 The overflow room.

10:04:36.000 So that's why I was saying Muhammad's going to hate Wednesdays. 0.99

10:04:38.000 They're down in Toledo now, by the way.

10:04:39.000 They've overflown Detroit as well.

10:04:41.000 Oh, really?

10:04:42.000 It's just kind of run off everywhere.

10:04:43.000 Oh, hold on.

10:04:43.000 Let's bring it up.

10:04:44.000 Wolf Blitzer.

10:04:45.000 Down to the deadline.

10:04:46.000 The government shut down with little time to spare.

10:04:48.000 We're following the votes and the crucial issues left undecided as lawmakers kick the can down the road.

10:04:54.000 Well, hold on a second.

10:04:55.000 You also didn't tell me, Sven.

10:04:57.000 This is the same thing.

10:04:59.000 Yeah.

10:05:00.000 Every single thing that's on the hit list.

10:05:01.000 It's like every time.

10:05:02.000 United Nations rebuke.

10:05:03.000 And you just talked about O'Brenner or whatever his name is rebuking Donald Trump for his rebuke of the United Nations rebuke.

10:05:09.000 Think about that.

10:05:10.000 CNN story is Donald Trump basically rebukes Hamas by recognizing Jerusalem as a capital.

10:05:17.000 UN votes to rebuke Donald Trump and the United States, then Donald Trump comments and rebukes them, and then Andrew Brenner rebukes Donald Trump's rebuke of the UN's rebuke, and that's been like 80% of the coverage.

10:05:34.000 That's a bad news day.

10:05:35.000 This is news.

10:05:36.000 The most trusted name in news.

10:05:38.000 Go back to blindly collecting balls in your yard in this... James Earl Jones.

10:05:38.000 Right.

10:05:44.000 How does this fly, by the way?

10:05:45.000 How does this work as a concept 24-hour news?

10:05:47.000 Wolf Blitzer can't fly.

10:05:48.000 I think he sinks like a stone.

10:05:51.000 I have a situation room with Wolf Blitzer.

10:05:53.000 There's no situation today!

10:05:55.000 You've got the buoyancy of a lead pipe.

10:05:55.000 None!

10:05:58.000 House votes to avoid shutdown.

10:06:00.000 It goes to the Senate, but it looks like it'll probably be done by Friday.

10:06:04.000 But all day they're saying 9 million tiny Tims are going to die.

10:06:06.000 - Yeah, that's fine.

10:06:07.000 We're good there.

10:06:08.000 Well, no, wait to the Senate vote.

10:06:11.000 Oh, well, whatever.

10:06:11.000 It's gonna pass the Senate.

10:06:13.000 It's just so silly to me that this is what people do with their day.

10:06:17.000 I know a guy who just has Fox News on 24-7.

10:06:19.000 Yeah.

10:06:20.000 And then I know a guy who has to... And this is not in every airport in the country.

10:06:22.000 I can't do it.

10:06:23.000 Could you imagine someone stuck on a layover today?

10:06:26.000 No, hey, your dad actually and I were talking in the green room and he's like, I think most of the numbers that CNN gets is because it's a captive audience.

10:06:33.000 In the airport, you got nowhere to go.

10:06:33.000 Yeah.

10:06:34.000 Especially in the hotel room.

10:06:35.000 In the hotel room, yeah.

10:06:36.000 You're trying to do it like it's pure... Bells go, we ring it, and he's dead.

10:06:36.000 In the traffic.

10:06:39.000 Yeah, exactly.

10:06:40.000 Yeah, that's exactly it.

10:06:41.000 It's like, what happened to your dad?

10:06:42.000 Was he bipolar?

10:06:43.000 Was he depressed?

10:06:44.000 Was he... No!

10:06:44.000 He had a layover in Atlanta!

10:06:46.000 And all they had was CNN!

10:06:48.000 It was a situation room.

10:06:48.000 Wolf Blitzer!

10:06:50.000 It got delayed.

10:06:51.000 Did they contractually have all... Yeah, I don't know if that counts into the ratings.

10:06:55.000 That has to, because how do you separate it out, right?

10:06:58.000 Well, it doesn't make any sense to me, because they're lucky to poll a few hundred thousand viewers.

10:07:03.000 Does that count?

10:07:04.000 I think it does.

10:07:05.000 I think they get like 5,000 viewers, and the rest of it's airports and hotels.

10:07:08.000 I'm gonna do a research here.

10:07:10.000 It can't count as entire views, because I mean, people are just passing by and watching for a few seconds.

10:07:14.000 It's a more captive audience.

10:07:14.000 You know what?

10:07:17.000 They estimate based on capacity.

10:07:18.000 So it's like, I had this explained to me by a friend who ran a sports bar.

10:07:21.000 And the reason why a lot of smaller sports bars didn't purchase the UFC issues pay-per-views early on is because it's based on capacity.

10:07:27.000 And so, if you have a bar that's, you know, the capacity is 2,000 people, they charge you tens of thousands of dollars.

10:07:33.000 That's why a lot of us didn't do the Floyd Mayweather fight.

10:07:33.000 It's expensive.

10:07:37.000 It's so expensive.

10:07:39.000 And a lot of people just want to make enough money for it.

10:07:42.000 Yeah, big, big letdown.

10:07:44.000 Breaking news!

10:07:45.000 CNN poll.

10:07:46.000 56% says Trump comments on Russia.

10:07:47.000 Here's what's crazy to me.

10:07:49.000 It's clearly not an ongoing poll.

10:07:51.000 No.

10:07:52.000 And it's clearly not breaking news.

10:07:54.000 No.

10:07:55.000 Gosh, isn't he a good-looking guy, Mike Pence?

10:07:57.000 Let's just be honest here.

10:07:59.000 He's a... He shouldn't have dinner with women. 1.00

10:08:01.000 Hold on a second.

10:08:02.000 They gave one line of the speech.

10:08:03.000 I want to hear what Mike Pence has to say.

10:08:04.000 No.

10:08:05.000 He's our vice president.

10:08:06.000 Why would you?

10:08:07.000 I so appreciate you being in this with me.

10:08:09.000 Hashtag crowd our scene in a live stream because every time I think I'm gonna get a glimpse of news like, oh, what did Vice President Pence say in Afghanistan?

10:08:17.000 Nothing.

10:08:17.000 Didn't happen.

10:08:18.000 Wolf Blitzer just opens his pie hole on it and I just, I don't, he has nothing interesting, he would have someone at a dinner party.

10:08:23.000 We get commentary on nothing.

10:08:25.000 Do you have any, have you ever been to a dinner party?

10:08:27.000 Back to Russia Probe.

10:08:28.000 Back to Russia Probe.

10:08:30.000 But they had a really cool swish pan.

10:08:32.000 Yeah.

10:08:34.000 It's like P-Ray.

10:08:36.000 Okay, the Russia investigation is... CNN poll, 61% say serious matter, 34% say effort to discredit Trump. 1.00

10:08:44.000 It's so stupid. 0.99

10:08:47.000 Sven Computer, does it include Nielsen? 1.00

10:08:49.000 Does it include the CNN numbers?

10:08:50.000 Does it include places like airports?

10:08:54.000 If we can bring it up, because I think it's measured by the Nielsen ratings, and yes, they include TV viewing in public places.

10:09:02.000 Ah, I knew it!

10:09:03.000 So they do include it?

10:09:04.000 So I guess airports should be included, if bars and hotels and gyms and everything is included.

10:09:04.000 Yes.

10:09:07.000 Bars, hotels, gyms, and the office.

10:09:09.000 But it doesn't say airports on there.

10:09:09.000 Yeah.

10:09:11.000 Well, it doesn't specifically say airports.

10:09:12.000 No, but it's got to be.

10:09:14.000 So what are CNN's overall, I mean, last I checked, like Anderson, I remember Red Eye at Fox News used to beat Anderson Cooper.

10:09:19.000 Red Eye was at 3 a.m.

10:09:20.000 Yeah, exactly.

10:09:21.000 And Anderson Cooper is when Anderson Cooper is 7, 8, 7 Central, 8 Eastern. 7 to 10.

10:09:29.000 So this has got to be reruns, right, in there?

10:09:31.000 He doesn't do three hours every night.

10:09:34.000 Who knows?

10:09:35.000 I think he does.

10:09:37.000 Can't be.

10:09:38.000 You think so?

10:09:39.000 I think that little sprite prances out for three hours.

10:09:41.000 I don't know what they're going to have him do tonight.

10:09:43.000 It's a lovely day!

10:09:44.000 I imagine by the end he's going to be singing Clang Clang Clang with the trolley and a feather boa doing his best.

10:09:48.000 He's stuck with Papa John's.

10:09:53.000 By the way, upon further reading of the article, Airports is confirmed.

10:09:58.000 Oh, it is confirmed!

10:10:00.000 Actually, it appears in the article.

10:10:01.000 We gotta find out the numbers, because the airport has to scale.

10:10:01.000 Oh my gosh.

10:10:03.000 I mean, think about all the airports in the United States and the people that travel through.

10:10:07.000 The capacity of airports is gigantic.

10:10:10.000 The international viewership of CNN.

10:10:12.000 Oh yeah.

10:10:13.000 It's off the charts.

10:10:14.000 Well, CNN doesn't make their money off... Oh, hold on.

10:10:17.000 Okay.

10:10:21.000 I was really just hoping to hear Mike Pence's speech!

10:10:23.000 Oh, here we go.

10:10:25.000 Now give us Paul Ryan.

10:10:26.000 Switch band.

10:10:27.000 Moving.

10:10:27.000 That was a moving speech.

10:10:27.000 It's cool.

10:10:28.000 Pure.

10:10:30.000 Look at Mitch McConnell.

10:10:30.000 - The last generation to maybe ever. - Moving, it was a moving speech. - Mike Allen of Axios asked Senate Majority - Bure.

10:10:37.000 - Mitch McConnell, whether it was over the last. - Look at Mitch McConnell, he sits with his knees together like Forrest Gump.

10:10:41.000 - You know I'm not gonna answer. - He looks like a ventriloquist dummy with those two lines down, you know what I mean?

10:10:45.000 It's to keep from having an accident, okay? 0.99

10:10:48.000 I expect the Koch brothers to have their hand up his ass like, Hey, Mitch McConnell, do it like we rehearsed. 0.99

10:10:52.000 These are good people. 0.99

10:10:53.000 Alright!

10:10:58.000 Oh my gosh.

10:10:59.000 There's the Fox News angle, right?

10:11:01.000 Making sure they show the legs.

10:11:03.000 Ooh, Kilmeade's gained some weight.

10:11:05.000 Be nice.

10:11:05.000 Ouch.

10:11:06.000 I'm not being nice.

10:11:07.000 I don't have to be nice.

10:11:08.000 I'm being honest.

10:11:09.000 Listen, you're on television.

10:11:10.000 It's your job.

10:11:11.000 It's true.

10:11:12.000 Your job is to just take care of yourself.

10:11:14.000 You're not taking care of yourself today.

10:11:17.000 I'm not taking care of myself today.

10:11:19.000 That's why I look exhausted.

10:11:20.000 Look at these bags.

10:11:21.000 It looks like Mitch McConnell's sphincter.

10:11:24.000 How do you know?

10:11:25.000 Well, I'd imagine it looks like his chin parts.

10:11:31.000 Oh my gosh.

10:11:33.000 I just find it funny, Reg just said this to me, 56% say Trump's comments on Russia are probe or false.

10:11:38.000 This is a good example here, okay?

10:11:40.000 This is a CNN poll.

10:11:42.000 Right.

10:11:43.000 So this has been breaking news.

10:11:45.000 I think that we should put a moratorium on calling anything breaking news that's opinion.

10:11:49.000 Okay, that's opinion.

10:11:51.000 Because only 17% of Americans think they're getting a tax break.

10:11:55.000 80% are.

10:11:57.000 So breaking news is 80% of Americans are getting a tax break.

10:12:00.000 Not breaking news, only 17% of Americans are not retarded. 1.00

10:12:05.000 And also, breaking news should not be internal polls.

10:12:11.000 No, it shouldn't be in journal polls.

10:12:12.000 It's just as arrogant as me saying, breaking news.

10:12:14.000 I'm a little tired.

10:12:15.000 Polls can be incredibly misleading, too, depending on how you ask questions.

10:12:18.000 And most of the time, 56% of people can't possibly have an informed opinion about what they're being asked.

10:12:24.000 Well, yeah, because they're fetching it to their own fan base.

10:12:25.000 It's like, come on, you've been watching CNN.

10:12:27.000 What do you think about what we're saying, is basically what the poll is.

10:12:29.000 You're asking people on the page who are mad about us doing a meme of Jake Tapper.

10:12:33.000 It's true.

10:12:34.000 I don't think, really, do you think that this meme was accurate?

10:12:37.000 I just think that's mean.

10:12:38.000 I stand by that meme.

10:12:39.000 Did you make the meme?

10:12:39.000 The meme meme?

10:12:41.000 No, but I think I endorsed it.

10:12:42.000 Okay, hold on.

10:12:42.000 Oh, okay.

10:12:43.000 Sven Computer has another overlay for us.

10:12:45.000 No, it's not an overlay.

10:12:46.000 It's just my opinion.

10:12:47.000 Well, hold on.

10:12:48.000 You're supposed to be facts.

10:12:49.000 If there are facts to the opinion... Well, I guess.

10:12:52.000 Let me hear you.

10:12:53.000 So, I think the mechanism here is that CNN... People watch CNN.

10:12:58.000 CNN tells them, you're not getting a tax break.

10:13:01.000 Then they ask in a poll, they go, well, what I've heard, I'm not getting a text break, beep beep.

10:13:06.000 And then CNN again, it's like a circle, and they just report on like, oh, people aren't getting a text break.

10:13:09.000 But you did it with a beep beep.

10:13:11.000 You're just saying what Gerald said with a beep beep.

10:13:12.000 With a beep beep.

10:13:13.000 But I wasn't listening.

10:13:14.000 Sven, that's lazy research.

10:13:17.000 Sven Computer.

10:13:18.000 You're actually doing what they're doing.

10:13:19.000 Sven Computer needs an iOS update.

10:13:21.000 He needs an update.

10:13:22.000 He needs to prove.

10:13:24.000 He's still on Sven computer snow leopard.

10:13:26.000 Reset the firmware all together.

10:13:27.000 Yeah, just shut him down for a minute How dare you do that in that chair? 1.00

10:13:32.000 How dare you?

10:13:32.000 How dare you do that?

10:13:34.000 This guy doesn't know anything and he got beat you to the punch.

10:13:36.000 No, but you're absolutely right.

10:13:41.000 Nothing.

10:13:42.000 Oh, now it finally says, House approves short-term spending bill to avoid shutdown.

10:13:45.000 So, we got 45 seconds.

10:13:47.000 Not GOP, because a minute ago it was their fault if we don't.

10:13:49.000 Now it's just House.

10:13:50.000 Yeah, now it's just House. 0.77

10:13:51.000 It was Republicans want to kill 9 million tiny tins.

10:13:51.000 Not GOP comes together.

10:13:53.000 Exactly, but now it's the House.

10:13:54.000 It's general.

10:13:56.000 What is that guy?

10:13:57.000 It looks like Click... He looks like one of the CGI orcs.

10:14:02.000 Like, now when they were cool, but they became CGI, and you're like, ah, that's not believable.

10:14:05.000 Looks like Dick Clark screwed Dracula.

10:14:11.000 Representative. 0.59

10:14:12.000 That's something that'll stick with me for a while.

10:14:14.000 He looks like Dick Clark's ball dropped on his face.

10:14:17.000 Blunt.

10:14:19.000 Do you think Dick Clark knew when he did Dick Clark's ball dropping thing that that was going to become a euphemism?

10:14:24.000 Do you think he knew that?

10:14:25.000 Do you think he had the foresight or was it a much more innocent time?

10:14:29.000 I was like, what should we call my New Year's extravaganza?

10:14:32.000 We started like in the 19th century, so... I don't think you have the foresight of Twitter.

10:14:36.000 87% of the people listening need you to explain what that is.

10:14:39.000 Is that a hair hat?

10:14:40.000 You think that's a hair hat?

10:14:41.000 You don't think that's a hair hat on the right?

10:14:41.000 No.

10:14:43.000 No.

10:14:43.000 Not Wolf Blitzer.

10:14:44.000 You don't think it's a hair hat on the right?

10:14:46.000 No.

10:14:46.000 I do.

10:14:46.000 I vote yes.

10:14:48.000 I don't think so.

10:14:49.000 From this image right here.

10:14:49.000 I do.

10:14:50.000 Yeah.

10:14:51.000 Let's throw a poll up.

10:14:51.000 It's a good one.

10:14:52.000 I'll give him that.

10:14:53.000 I want to throw a poll up.

10:14:54.000 Hashtag CrowderCNN livestream.

10:14:55.000 Is that a hair hat on the right?

10:14:58.000 They just had his name.

10:14:59.000 Roy Blunt.

10:15:00.000 Roy Blunt.

10:15:01.000 You shouldn't make fun of him because he's a Republican.

10:15:02.000 I think that's a hair hat.

10:15:04.000 It's not a hair hat.

10:15:05.000 Hold on a second.

10:15:06.000 Let me get up closer.

10:15:07.000 It's not.

10:15:10.000 I think that's a hair hat.

10:15:12.000 Now, I can't be sure because we're... We need Francine. 0.74

10:15:15.000 Francine's good at this. 0.99

10:15:16.000 We're pirating the live stream.

10:15:16.000 Yeah, she is.

10:15:18.000 It's true.

10:15:19.000 So it's not 4K.

10:15:20.000 It's not 4K.

10:15:21.000 So you cannot... But this here looks very... Look at this line.

10:15:25.000 It's the ridge line.

10:15:26.000 Okay, look there.

10:15:27.000 It doesn't go, well... I'm telling you, I think it's fine.

10:15:31.000 I think it's a hair hat that's sewn on.

10:15:33.000 So, you two think it's a hair hat?

10:15:35.000 Spank Computer, what do you think? 1.00

10:15:38.000 Hair hat or no?

10:15:39.000 I think from my angle I can't actually see the TV.

10:15:42.000 So you're abstaining from the vote?

10:15:44.000 Like 35 nations did today on the Israel vote?

10:15:44.000 Yes.

10:15:46.000 Yes.

10:15:46.000 I'm Canada right now.

10:15:47.000 Those chickens.

10:15:49.000 Canada of opinions.

10:15:51.000 He is Switzerland. 0.51

10:15:52.000 We don't really know.

10:15:54.000 We don't know.

10:15:55.000 He doesn't get to be Switzerland because he's German.

10:15:57.000 No, too late.

10:15:59.000 No, he doesn't get to eat Switzerland.

10:15:59.000 Yeah, it's too late.

10:16:00.000 That ship sailed.

10:16:01.000 Listen, if you're German, you don't even get to pretend to be another country. 1.00

10:16:04.000 Okay, so when, but when does that stop?

10:16:06.000 Never?

10:16:06.000 Doesn't.

10:16:07.000 No!

10:16:07.000 That's reasonable.

10:16:08.000 Yeah, it's a few million people, it never goes away.

10:16:09.000 What if somebody else comes around and does something horrible like that?

10:16:11.000 Like all Muslim countries that attack other people that are peaceful. 1.00

10:16:11.000 Here's one thing. 1.00

10:16:15.000 I mean, we could throw them into that, right?

10:16:16.000 What do you mean?

10:16:17.000 They could be like the new Germany. 0.97

10:16:18.000 They're trying to kill people like ISIS. 1.00

10:16:19.000 What you don't realize is they've just killed so many people, it's like rollover minutes.

10:16:28.000 terrible we're good for such a long time we're such terrible people Don't you worry about it.

10:16:34.000 Sven Computer's not laughing at all.

10:16:37.000 Now he fakes it.

10:16:40.000 He's like, ha ha, ha ha.

10:16:41.000 Your processor is saying it would be best in your best interest to laugh right now.

10:16:46.000 If you want to maintain your visa.

10:16:47.000 Fake laugh.

10:16:48.000 I was going to ask you this.

10:16:49.000 OK, Sven Computer.

10:16:50.000 I know you're tired.

10:16:51.000 I can only imagine.

10:16:53.000 Let me imagine.

10:16:55.000 Let me ask you this, Sven Computer.

10:16:59.000 You applied for your job here, right?

10:17:01.000 You had no experience as far as working in film.

10:17:05.000 We've done the Golden Ticket.

10:17:06.000 By the way, we still also have a Golden Ticket for another... We won't talk about it now because we'll get too many submissions during the stream.

10:17:11.000 Did you think you'd be working here?

10:17:13.000 Did you really think you were gonna get it?

10:17:15.000 Beep, beep, bop.

10:17:15.000 Uh, no.

10:17:16.000 Really?

10:17:17.000 Why didn't you think you thought too many submissions?

10:17:19.000 Yeah, also qualified people.

10:17:21.000 Beep, beep, bop.

10:17:22.000 Yeah, do you know why you were picked?

10:17:24.000 Because I put in more effort than anyone else.

10:17:26.000 That's exactly what it was.

10:17:27.000 Germans do that.

10:17:28.000 You did.

10:17:28.000 Well, I knew that.

10:17:29.000 That was like a thing I said.

10:17:30.000 Like, hey, I can work harder.

10:17:32.000 Beep, beep. 0.92

10:17:33.000 Yeah, I know.

10:17:34.000 But then he came here and he said, by the way, do you get three months off in the summer?

10:17:38.000 Because that's kind of a big one for me.

10:17:41.000 That's the standard.

10:17:41.000 No.

10:17:43.000 That's kind of a close-handed issue.

10:17:45.000 You know, I have open-handed issues and close-handed issues.

10:17:49.000 Three months off as an intern.

10:17:52.000 Listen, Sven Computer applied out of hundreds of applicants.

10:17:52.000 No, it is true.

10:17:55.000 I wish he would sign off on us playing his tape sometime.

10:17:59.000 So people see what a hard work is like a real tape.

10:18:00.000 His audition tape?

10:18:01.000 His audition tape.

10:18:01.000 Here's the thing.

10:18:02.000 It was a technical mess, but the guy put in a lot of effort.

10:18:07.000 And then he sent me a tape of me being waterboarded in space.

10:18:10.000 And he just, he really worked.

10:18:10.000 Yeah.

10:18:11.000 It actually wasn't a technical mess.

10:18:12.000 He did some stuff that was really cool with the split screen and him playing dart.

10:18:15.000 So it was him talking to me, saying why he would be the best person in the job.

10:18:17.000 Oh, this was like a whole production.

10:18:18.000 It was a whole production Spent Computer did.

10:18:20.000 Everyone else barely sent in an email with their basic information.

10:18:23.000 And Spent sent in a whole entire video saying, hey, this is why I'm qualified.

10:18:26.000 A, B, C, D.

10:18:27.000 He hooked us.

10:18:28.000 I realized he's a good storyteller.

10:18:30.000 He hooked us in and then gave us his resume.

10:18:33.000 Right.

10:18:33.000 That is good.

10:18:34.000 He got us to like him first.

10:18:35.000 He suckered us.

10:18:35.000 He suckered you.

10:18:36.000 Spent Computer suckered us.

10:18:37.000 And now he's here.

10:18:40.000 We would have thought we'd learn after World War II.

10:18:42.000 Doing the 16-hour live stream.

10:18:44.000 This is how Skynet begins.

10:18:45.000 Okay, so we have, well, okay.

10:18:47.000 We're in the homestretch, so there's less than six hours to go.

10:18:51.000 We just crossed 10 hours.

10:18:52.000 We crossed 10 hours!

10:18:54.000 Atta boy!

10:18:56.000 Tweet out a celebratory tweet.

10:18:57.000 CrowderCNN livestream hashtag.

10:18:59.000 I'm saying this because I can't be tweeting while doing this.

10:19:01.000 It's either Sven Computer or Courtney helping with my Twitter.

10:19:05.000 You're going, how can you toot while you're on air?

10:19:07.000 I can't do all of this at the same time.

10:19:09.000 Just, I know.

10:19:09.000 FYI.

10:19:10.000 It's not even movie magic.

10:19:12.000 I'm just lying to you.

10:19:12.000 There's a reason why we made sure all Walthers were unloaded in the studio because the dictation would have been too great.

10:19:18.000 Here's the thing, I will tell you this.

10:19:19.000 I am exhausted and I hate CNN, but I was more so worried that I would want to hurt you.

10:19:23.000 You know, like cabin fever, that we'd be at each other's throats.

10:19:25.000 It's been pretty good.

10:19:26.000 Yeah.

10:19:27.000 Yeah, I mean, nobody's been seriously injured yet.

10:19:29.000 No, nobody's been.

10:19:30.000 Honestly, I feel good.

10:19:32.000 I'm in the room.

10:19:32.000 I feel good.

10:19:32.000 Other than the carol.

10:19:34.000 I was a little pissed before we aired when I found out we had no ability to get overlays, and now we're kind of jerry-rigging it.

10:19:38.000 It's worked.

10:19:38.000 But I was like, meh.

10:19:39.000 We have more surprises that could go terribly wrong.

10:19:42.000 That's what I'm not happy about, that fourth caroler.

10:19:42.000 Well, yeah, I know.

10:19:45.000 You never know.

10:19:45.000 Yeah.

10:19:46.000 Listen, if a caroler comes to your studio and locks herself in your green room, thereby locking out your own producers and refuses to perform even though you've paid them and they signed a contract- They know your address now. 1.00

10:19:57.000 Can you say that person's kind of a bitch? 1.00

10:20:00.000 Uh, yeah. 1.00

10:20:01.000 That's at G. Morgan Jr.

10:20:01.000 Okay, good.

10:20:04.000 The theologian. 0.99

10:20:05.000 You also should have men in black to her ass so she doesn't remember our studio's at. 1.00

10:20:09.000 Do you realize what you just said? 1.00

10:20:10.000 Did you do the flashy thing on me?

10:20:12.000 Do you realize the phrase that just came out of your mouth?

10:20:14.000 Oh, jeez.

10:20:19.000 I didn't hear it. 0.99

10:20:20.000 He said we also should have men in blacked her ass so she wouldn't have little studios. 1.00

10:20:24.000 That's gonna be written down. 0.99

10:20:26.000 Well, there you go.

10:20:27.000 There goes my senate run.

10:20:28.000 What were you gonna say, Sven Computer?

10:20:32.000 I just wanted to bring up the poll results, so 71% think that that was indeed a hair hat that we saw.

10:20:38.000 Oh, come on! 0.99

10:20:40.000 No, no, no!

10:20:41.000 Stop, stop that! 0.99

10:20:42.000 That's not true!

10:20:43.000 That's not true!

10:20:44.000 Fake, fake news!

10:20:45.000 You can be a recount.

10:20:46.000 There are no hanging chads there.

10:20:48.000 No, it's not fake news.

10:20:49.000 You guys don't know what you're talking about.

10:20:49.000 Not fake news.

10:20:51.000 We are tent- gosh, we've been doing this for ten hours.

10:20:53.000 I still say we need to get Francine on that one later on, because she's- she's- she's- We'll let her watch the video and see if she can tell.

10:20:58.000 Let's see, Francine- I'm gonna send- I'm gonna send a note to Senator Roy Blunt.

10:21:00.000 Anybody from Missouri on Twitter, we want you to send a note to your senator's office and ask him, is that a piece?

10:21:07.000 Look, see, here's the thing- Is that carpet?

10:21:09.000 You don't just look at the- you don't just look at the- the hair.

10:21:11.000 You gotta look at the face it goes with, because the face- I'm done listening to you.

10:21:14.000 It's unnatural.

10:21:15.000 I'm done.

10:21:15.000 We're done.

10:21:16.000 You've aggravated us.

10:21:17.000 Sufficiently.

10:21:17.000 I'm done.

10:21:18.000 I think.

10:21:19.000 You think it's a piece?

10:21:19.000 I think it's a piece.

10:21:20.000 Good, good, good.

10:21:20.000 Okay, good.

10:21:21.000 No!

10:21:21.000 Never mind.

10:21:21.000 You're done.

10:21:22.000 No!

10:21:22.000 What?

10:21:23.000 How does stuff turn so quickly on me?

10:21:24.000 It doesn't follow the face.

10:21:25.000 Look at it.

10:21:26.000 It's weird.

10:21:26.000 Oh my gosh.

10:21:27.000 That's really weird.

10:21:27.000 It's weird.

10:21:29.000 Everyone today has looked really pretty weird aside from Jake Tapper.

10:21:29.000 You know what?

10:21:33.000 And I say this as someone who looks weird.

10:21:34.000 Like, here's the thing.

10:21:36.000 Look right now at Wolf Blitzer.

10:21:38.000 All of that is a choice.

10:21:41.000 That beard is a choice.

10:21:42.000 That hair is a choice.

10:21:44.000 Those glasses are a choice.

10:21:45.000 I'm not entirely convinced he didn't die years ago and they just green screened compliments and everything.

10:21:50.000 Just generic responses.

10:21:51.000 That's how I felt about Larry King.

10:21:53.000 He's not even alive.

10:21:54.000 I felt like Larry King was a Jim Henson character for years.

10:21:56.000 Yeah.

10:21:58.000 I feel like he's been locked away with Richard Simmons by that Wiccan from Rio. 1.00

10:22:02.000 Have you heard that story about Richard Simmons?

10:22:04.000 He's been locked in his mansion from his maid. 0.97

10:22:06.000 She's a witch. 1.00

10:22:08.000 I was one of the last people to talk with Richard Simmons on Twitter by direct message.

10:22:11.000 Yeah, he was gonna come on the show, and he was like, uh, I don't have time right now, please stop messaging me, and just, like, disappeared, and then his Twitter was shut down, and then we've heard that he was, like, kidnapped.

10:22:19.000 By his maid?

10:22:19.000 Really?

10:22:20.000 Yeah, by, like, his house lady, who apparently was from Brazil. 0.88

10:22:23.000 Apparently he went down to Brazil, this is true.

10:22:25.000 Don't screw around with that.

10:22:26.000 And since he came back, they said he was doing a bunch of witchcraft, weird stuff, and everyone has said that he's cut out his family, so whether it's witchcraft or not, maybe he's a member of a cult.

10:22:33.000 I don't know what the story is.

10:22:34.000 Either way, spiritual stuff can happen.

10:22:35.000 All of that is a choice.

10:22:35.000 Okay, look at Wolf Blitzer.

10:22:37.000 That's just really weird to me.

10:22:39.000 It's just not great.

10:22:40.000 It's bizarre to me.

10:22:42.000 Everything CNN has done today is a choice.

10:22:44.000 Here's the thing.

10:22:45.000 Let's get, uh, do we have any games that we can get going or something?

10:22:47.000 Yeah. 0.98

10:22:47.000 We can, but we, uh, we have a guest coming in here and she's hot and suckin' here. 0.98

10:22:50.000 How long, can I go to the restroom before we have the guest? 1.00

10:22:53.000 Yeah, we'll, we'll, we'll go for it.

10:22:53.000 Alright, Gerald, hold down the fort.

10:22:54.000 I've gotta use the restroom really badly.

10:22:55.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, do it.

10:22:56.000 I've been drinking water, hold on a second, let me make sure if I need to get more water before it. 0.91

10:23:00.000 And, uh, you know what, this time try not to suck. 0.79

10:23:02.000 That's impossible. 0.92

10:23:04.000 I don't know what you're talking about.

10:23:05.000 Is the temperature good for everyone in here?

10:23:07.000 I don't care.

10:23:07.000 I think we're fine.

10:23:08.000 You know, it's a little chilly, but I'm, like, cold sweating.

10:23:10.000 I'm cold sweating, too.

10:23:11.000 I don't know why.

10:23:12.000 I don't want to warm it up.

10:23:13.000 I don't know why that is.

10:23:15.000 If you warmed it up, it'd be, like, you'd fall asleep.

10:23:18.000 You don't want to do that.

10:23:19.000 I'm just getting some more fresh air.

10:23:20.000 I think it's commercials.

10:23:21.000 Oh, yeah.

10:23:21.000 How long does it take to circulate fresh air in a room if you open it outside?

10:23:24.000 That long, right?

10:23:25.000 I don't know.

10:23:26.000 That quick?

10:23:26.000 Two, three days.

10:23:27.000 I have no idea.

10:23:29.000 Why are you looking at me as though I have an informed opinion?

10:23:31.000 I trust you and Gerald to do a job, not a commercial.

10:23:34.000 We're gonna run a commercial here.

10:23:35.000 We're not gonna run a commercial.

10:23:36.000 Not gonna run a commercial? 1.00

10:23:37.000 We're gonna burn this mother down, baby. 1.00

10:23:37.000 No. 1.00

10:23:40.000 Like there's no tomorrow.

10:23:41.000 Nah, I will tell you this.

10:23:42.000 Did I miss the 4th Christmas YouTube Carol?

10:23:46.000 It's not aired yet.

10:23:48.000 And so you're gonna show the entire thing?

10:23:50.000 Are you gonna make that available afterwards?

10:23:51.000 Like in its entirety?

10:23:55.000 Oh man, it's been so cool.

10:23:57.000 I've seen so many people talking about it.

10:23:58.000 A lot of people on Twitter are talking about the show today and how much fun they're having with it, though.

10:24:03.000 I think it's the fact that they're seeing Steven get tortured by having to watch this.

10:24:07.000 And you as well, Nagi Jared.

10:24:10.000 Yeah.

10:24:11.000 It's a, it's like a glutton for punishment.

10:24:11.000 Yeah.

10:24:13.000 Sven computer sitting over there in the chair that looks remotely like my chair.

10:24:18.000 Um, yeah, I don't want you to be too comfortable over there, my friend.

10:24:22.000 It's definitely going to be a chair I go back into.

10:24:23.000 So, go ahead.

10:24:25.000 Guys, Steven's biggest dream in the world.

10:24:27.000 He has midgets coming in the studio later. 1.00

10:24:32.000 But can he hear us in the green room? 0.97

10:24:34.000 He's peeing.

10:24:34.000 We're good.

10:24:36.000 He has midgets. 0.63

10:24:37.000 Little people? 0.61

10:24:38.000 Of course.

10:24:39.000 Little people. 0.82

10:24:40.000 Oh.

10:24:40.000 Yes.

10:24:41.000 They're coming to see us.

10:24:44.000 Yes!

10:24:45.000 Eastern.

10:24:49.000 That's fantastic.

10:24:51.000 That is fantastic.

10:24:53.000 Hashtag CrowderCNN livestream, baby.

10:24:55.000 This is what we do.

10:24:56.000 We're getting sued.

10:24:56.000 Oh my gosh.

10:25:01.000 We're getting sued by somebody.

10:25:02.000 That's definitely going to happen.

10:25:04.000 You know what you also get?

10:25:06.000 So the CNN stuff is incredibly repetitive, but you also start to see the commercials over and over and over.

10:25:11.000 I think we have more sponsors than they do.

10:25:12.000 It's hard to make me wonder.

10:25:13.000 No, I know.

10:25:14.000 There's not a lot of variety going on here. 1.00

10:25:16.000 It's just silly, stupid commercials. 1.00

10:25:18.000 None of them make any sense to me. 1.00

10:25:20.000 The only one that I like is the sloth one that's trying to play Pictionary or whatever it is.

10:25:23.000 And it's kind of funny because the sloth can't do it.

10:25:25.000 I don't know.

10:25:26.000 I watched the movie that the sloth was in and it was really funny too, so whatever.

10:25:30.000 Do we want to just thank a couple more people that signed up?

10:25:34.000 Yeah, let's do that.

10:25:35.000 I'll get the bell.

10:25:37.000 Bring out the bell!

10:25:38.000 Oh, he's here.

10:25:39.000 We'll do it later.

10:25:40.000 Let's do it before our next guest.

10:25:43.000 Well, no, because I'm not on the screen right now.

10:25:45.000 We're going to connect with our next guest.

10:25:46.000 I can read out the names.

10:25:48.000 Well, no, don't do the names.

10:25:49.000 All right, well, listen.

10:25:51.000 What did they talk about while I was gone?

10:25:54.000 Oh, nothing.

10:25:55.000 Just stuff about things and places.

10:25:57.000 Mostly the weather.

10:25:58.000 Yeah.

10:25:59.000 It's pretty good.

10:26:01.000 So you got nothing, basically.

10:26:02.000 They're a commercial and we got nothing.

10:26:04.000 We actually came to the conclusion that we have more sponsors than they do because they keep running the same commercials over and over and over.

10:26:10.000 Well, listen, we've been... It's just so manufactured.

10:26:12.000 Since they're running commercials, one thing we'll say is we've been really limited with sponsors.

10:26:12.000 Yeah.

10:26:15.000 Why?

10:26:15.000 Because you've joined... So we don't have to do sponsors, right?

10:26:18.000 But here's something that's awesome about Mug Club members. 0.98

10:26:19.000 Vladoscutter.com slash Mug Club.

10:26:20.000 Listen, that's the only way we're able to do this.

10:26:22.000 Right.

10:26:23.000 This is all we do full-time, and we are the only alternative to late night right now.

10:26:28.000 There's no one else, and our goal... And you're better than late night.

10:26:30.000 Well, no, no.

10:26:31.000 Our goal is to... But my opinion... People say, well, thank you very much.

10:26:33.000 But our goal, people say, what's your goal?

10:26:35.000 Our goal is to grow this and to be bigger, not just in the Young Turks, but Colbert, Kimmel, Fallon, all of them.

10:26:41.000 We're gunning for them all, and you guys have made this year... We're coming up on 1.2 million... 1 point... Sorry.

10:26:49.000 Yes, 1.2 million subscribers. 1.00

10:26:50.000 My brain is a piece of crap. 1.00

10:26:52.000 It's all because of you. 1.00

10:26:52.000 So... 1.00

10:26:53.000 It's all because of you.

10:26:54.000 We're creating more free content because of you.

10:26:56.000 And we don't have to have 50 commercials.

10:26:56.000 We appreciate that.

10:26:58.000 And that's one thing.

10:26:59.000 We'll have a few commercials.

10:27:00.000 We'll start incorporating them.

10:27:01.000 Mug Club members don't get mad either about commercials.

10:27:03.000 No, actually, I want you guys to play, like, get your commercials into, like, something that I can watch because they're so funny.

10:27:10.000 They're so entertaining.

10:27:11.000 Our audience, and thank you so much for making it happen, has been so supportive.

10:27:11.000 Well, that's one thing, too.

10:27:15.000 That's why Walther, people don't understand, the paying members, where we don't have to run ads because you're paying, but the paying members is what shows people like Walther, people like SimpliSafe, they go, oh my gosh, there's a lot of, not many people pay for things on the internet.

10:27:28.000 And Walther just, they have the balls to stand up and support the show.

10:27:31.000 Listen, like I said, about Walther, it's a sponsor for us. 0.97

10:27:35.000 If you're not a firearm person, don't buy a gun.

10:27:37.000 If you're going to buy a gun, all I'm asking you is to try the Walther.

10:27:41.000 Go to the gun range, Glock 19, Glock 7, try the PPQ.

10:27:45.000 If you're going to get a Smith & Wesson Shield, or the Ruger LCP, or whatever it is, or the Sig... They're all good guns, by the way.

10:27:51.000 They're all good guns.

10:27:53.000 Try the Walther PPS.

10:27:54.000 Try it, and even... Here's the thing.

10:27:56.000 They support this show.

10:27:58.000 And that's great.

10:27:59.000 And so if you want to support – if you find them kind of, okay, within the margin of error and you want to support the company that supports your show, great.

10:28:06.000 But here's the deal.

10:28:07.000 If it's not a good product, don't purchase it.

10:28:09.000 But I am just asking you to try it because I have never had anyone try them and not choose the Walther.

10:28:14.000 And that's what – we went after them.

10:28:15.000 We're like, listen, listen.

10:28:16.000 This is why I want you to be a sponsor.

10:28:17.000 Yeah, it's a good product.

10:28:18.000 We don't want a product that we have to sell all the time.

10:28:21.000 No.

10:28:21.000 You know, whether it's bedsheets or reverse mortgages or gold, we can just tell people, go right now, do me a favor, people out there, and then you can tweet me at S Crowder, of course, hashtag CNN, Crowder CNN livestream.

10:28:31.000 Google Walter PPQ review, okay?

10:28:35.000 Tell me if you find anything short of glowing.

10:28:37.000 Google Walter PPSM, that's what I'm carrying right now, PPSM2 review.

10:28:41.000 You won't find anything short of glowing.

10:28:43.000 Even their new one, their Creed, their budget gun, I've never fired it.

10:28:46.000 Yeah.

10:28:46.000 Just go Google it and go try it!

10:28:48.000 And we are so thankful to Walther.

10:28:50.000 Honestly, like, I can't tell you, that's one of the... For me this year, that's one of the biggest... That and the success have changed my mind.

10:28:54.000 It's been huge.

10:28:55.000 I didn't realize, 1.9 million plays for the Two Genders one, I believe?

10:28:59.000 Oh, I didn't even know that.

10:29:01.000 1.9 million, that's incredible.

10:29:02.000 Yeah, that's crazy.

10:29:03.000 You're getting close to a million, probably already past a million, the numbers just haven't refreshed on the other one.

10:29:07.000 No, they all have over a million, except for, obviously, Kwanzaa, but that was seasonal.

10:29:09.000 Yeah, yeah, that's true.

10:29:11.000 Well, I like the way you guys do this, too.

10:29:13.000 I like the way you guys do commercials, because, you know, every time you would, if you ever listen to talk radio or anything like that, it's like, it's the cheesy, and I only use whatever, and you're like, yeah, whatever, we know you got paid.

10:29:22.000 You guys do really fun commercials, where, you know, you put some time and some effort and energy into it, so it's entertaining, and so I'm like, I, of course, want to buy that product now.

10:29:30.000 You know what's so cool, too?

10:29:31.000 Listen, right now they're talking, breaking news, FBI director backs up Comey claims of Trump request for loyalty.

10:29:37.000 Okay, what does that mean?

10:29:38.000 What president wants disloyalty anyway?

10:29:40.000 Especially Comey, the guy who's been flip-flopping. 0.99

10:29:42.000 Listen, I used to feel bad for Comey until I realized he's just kind of a dick. 0.98

10:29:47.000 Like, you ever notice that? 0.98

10:29:47.000 It's just like, Comey, some of it you bring on yourself. 0.98

10:29:49.000 I don't feel bad for him.

10:29:50.000 He did this himself.

10:29:51.000 My wife just stole beer from our fridge. 1.00

10:29:53.000 Did you realize that?

10:29:53.000 Wow.

10:29:53.000 She did?

10:29:54.000 Yeah, she just stole beer from our fridge. 1.00

10:29:55.000 Maybe she's setting up a game.

10:29:56.000 Unreal.

10:29:57.000 I don't know.

10:29:57.000 Anyway, I thought she was asking you if you wanted a beer, and I thought you said yes, and then she just stole our beer.

10:30:03.000 That was gonna be nice.

10:30:06.000 Oh, okay.

10:30:08.000 The cool thing, too, I will say this about right now, claims for loyalty.

10:30:10.000 The cool thing I'll say about Walther, and then I'll stop talking about our sponsor, is I told him, like, hey, listen, just so you know, I have an old Smith & Wesson revolver, and I really like my Ruger SP-101 revolver.

10:30:21.000 So, like, they're like, that's okay, that's fine.

10:30:23.000 I was like, well, I know you don't have revolvers, so if ever I mention it, they're like, even if there were other semi-automatics that you had that you liked, we wouldn't care.

10:30:31.000 They never said you have to only plug Walther.

10:30:34.000 Well, it gives you some ability to be honest.

10:30:35.000 Think about how crazy that is.

10:30:36.000 What sponsor does that? 0.90

10:30:37.000 I would want exclusivity.

10:30:39.000 Yeah, go talk to them all. 0.98

10:30:40.000 If Simplified Wine was sponsoring and paying money to sponsor this show, I'd be like, screw you.

10:30:43.000 Simplifiedwine.com, you just can't afford it.

10:30:45.000 That's true.

10:30:47.000 Thank you.

10:30:47.000 Oh, bless you, sir.

10:30:48.000 This is what we have, the Comey deal.

10:30:48.000 OK, hold on a second.

10:30:50.000 Yes.

10:30:51.000 I just, I honestly, I just, I can't believe how, one thing I will say, and I want to hear from you guys, hashtag CrowderCNN livestream.

10:30:58.000 Were you, did you, like, do you think?

10:31:01.000 Only when CNN has understood the depths of their failure.

10:31:08.000 Did you understand the magnitude of how bad they were?

10:31:11.000 They won't change until dollars start to get affected.

10:31:14.000 That's the only way stuff like this changes.

10:31:16.000 Well, Sina doesn't make their dollars off of viewers. 0.99

10:31:17.000 They make it off of, like, licensing footage.

10:31:19.000 Well, that's what I mean.

10:31:20.000 Like, until something breaks in their model financially, they'll keep putting crappy stuff out there.

10:31:24.000 You know how worried we get?

10:31:25.000 You know this, where we're like, ah, gosh, we've got to get a good guest.

10:31:27.000 Yeah.

10:31:27.000 Like, oh, man, that guy.

10:31:28.000 They've had Roy Blunt on for this entire half hour.

10:31:32.000 It's like, come on.

10:31:33.000 Who I'm still convinced, by the way, the poll says a hairpiece.

10:31:35.000 It's not a hairpiece.

10:31:36.000 Absolutely.

10:31:37.000 You are citing a poll?

10:31:39.000 You think that that's good information?

10:31:41.000 I'm not railed against polls.

10:31:42.000 No, no, I'm just saying most people think it's... What are you, Bernie Sanders?

10:31:44.000 I'm not saying it's breaking news.

10:31:45.000 According to the poll... I'm not saying it's breaking news.

10:31:48.000 It's true.

10:31:48.000 It's just opinion.

10:31:49.000 Okay.

10:31:49.000 But I'm right, because it's a majority.

10:31:52.000 Just like democratic socialism.

10:31:53.000 Let me say this.

10:31:55.000 Gosh, I need, I think I need some, could you do me a favor?

10:31:57.000 You want some caffeine?

10:31:58.000 No, give me a couple of Figgy Pops over there. 0.90

10:32:00.000 Figgy Pops?

10:32:00.000 Alright.

10:32:01.000 By the way, you guys, they're not sponsored.

10:32:02.000 You ever had Figgy Pops?

10:32:03.000 They're delicious.

10:32:04.000 I get them at Costco.

10:32:05.000 It's just cocoa, coconut, and fig paste wrapped up in one.

10:32:10.000 By the way, that's Edward, the sound guy, if you hear him in the background.

10:32:12.000 No, no, they're in the fridge.

10:32:12.000 That's just him.

10:32:14.000 They're in the fridge.

10:32:16.000 You're like, he's like Lenny in Of Mice and Men.

10:32:18.000 I didn't mean to kill the rabbit, George.

10:32:21.000 I just wanted better ketchup on my beans, George.

10:32:25.000 See that's, that's an American, uh, that's John Steinbeck.

10:32:28.000 Sven Computer doesn't understand the reference.

10:32:31.000 Do you want some figgy, do you want some, hey, Jared, Jared, Jared, do you want some figgy pop?

10:32:38.000 Okay, hold on a second, hold on a second.

10:32:40.000 Let me give you back, can you close this up?

10:32:42.000 Sorry guys, I'm going to be eating on the mic.

10:32:43.000 Hashtag CrowderCNN livestream.

10:32:44.000 By the way, we're going to need your help.

10:32:45.000 When people get back from work, you guys have been the workday crowd.

10:32:48.000 It's going to be a whole different crowd. 0.96

10:32:50.000 We want to get this thing to top three trending like it was earlier so that Don Lemon starts blubbering like the blatant, blatant feminine homosexual he is once you get a few drinks in him. 0.96

10:33:01.000 Yeah. 0.97

10:33:02.000 Go ahead.

10:33:03.000 So we want to get the, we're getting requests for a couple things.

10:33:06.000 Okay.

10:33:08.000 Lots of requests for alcohol and lots of requests for Wonder Woman. 1.00

10:33:14.000 Wonder Woman?

10:33:14.000 I kid you not.

10:33:15.000 What do you mean?

10:33:16.000 Requests for Wonder Woman.

10:33:17.000 So, at this point in the evening, I would like to welcome in Wonder Woman to kick off the alcohol portion of our evening.

10:33:27.000 Oh my God.

10:33:28.000 No, no, no.

10:33:30.000 Got to know everybody.

10:33:33.000 Merry Christmas, everybody.

10:33:35.000 So, here's what we want to do.

10:33:36.000 We want to get some... I'm not looking at them.

10:33:38.000 Yeah.

10:33:40.000 Do it.

10:33:42.000 Oh, God.

10:33:43.000 Oh, oh! 0.58

10:33:43.000 Alright. 0.58

10:33:44.000 On the Twitters!

10:33:45.000 Here's what we need your help.

10:33:46.000 We need... Aaron, the intern at K-Wonder Woman, has a... How many ounces is that?

10:33:51.000 Three beers.

10:33:52.000 That's three beers?

10:33:53.000 Three cans.

10:33:54.000 Three cans of beers.

10:33:56.000 So that's like 36 ounces of fluid.

10:33:58.000 Plus some head. 0.69

10:34:01.000 Oh, gosh.

10:34:05.000 Here's the thing, Aaron the Intern came in a pink bunny costume earlier.

10:34:08.000 Sorry, I'm eating on air.

10:34:09.000 I don't get to take a break.

10:34:12.000 Did you drink what was in that mug earlier?

10:34:14.000 He's lit.

10:34:14.000 You're like five beers in.

10:34:16.000 Be careful.

10:34:19.000 By the way, for people who don't know, Aaron, the intern, has been doing an unbelievable job editing the YouTube Carol.

10:34:22.000 We're gonna have more YouTube Carol segment four.

10:34:24.000 Yep.

10:34:25.000 And then everything at the end, the grand finale.

10:34:26.000 Can't wait.

10:34:27.000 You were in there, so was Sun Computer.

10:34:28.000 Everyone did a really good job, and Aaron is the brilliant editor who made it happen.

10:34:32.000 I wish he would coach some other editors.

10:34:34.000 Yeah, that'd be great.

10:34:35.000 Oh.

10:34:35.000 Because he hoards it.

10:34:35.000 Did you just call him a whore?

10:34:38.000 No, he hoards the editing because he's so good at it. 0.99

10:34:40.000 Oh, lord.

10:34:41.000 The problem is, often we're like, hey, Aaron, and they're like, I'll just do it.

10:34:44.000 I'm like, Aaron, you don't have to be here this late.

10:34:45.000 He's like, well, I'm the only one who can do this.

10:34:46.000 I'm like, yeah, you're right.

10:34:48.000 But we need to hire someone else to do it!

10:34:49.000 We gotta get another guy. 0.97

10:34:50.000 Or a girl. 0.68

10:34:51.000 Could be a girl.

10:34:51.000 That was really sexist of me.

10:34:52.000 I apologize.

10:34:53.000 Especially you're in Wonder Woman editing.

10:34:54.000 Let's be honest, it's gonna be a guy.

10:34:59.000 You're supposed to be empowering women! 1.00

10:35:01.000 I would welcome it, but I have not met one female editor.

10:35:04.000 Okay, here's one thing I will say.

10:35:06.000 My history.

10:35:06.000 Read him.

10:35:07.000 Here's one thing I will say. 0.98

10:35:08.000 I have had to hear you bitch about the Wonder Woman schtick. 1.00

10:35:11.000 For months. 0.99

10:35:12.000 You know what?

10:35:13.000 You know what this is?

10:35:14.000 Because you've lost some weight, you look good.

10:35:16.000 Is this because you wanted to show people that you lost weight?

10:35:18.000 Well, I have lost weight.

10:35:19.000 You do.

10:35:20.000 You look a lot better.

10:35:20.000 I think people will see.

10:35:21.000 This is a merry Christmas.

10:35:23.000 This is your Christmas present.

10:35:24.000 Boom.

10:35:25.000 Well, you have another Christmas present on the way.

10:35:26.000 Can I get an Alexa?

10:35:28.000 How is this my Christmas present?

10:35:28.000 No.

10:35:31.000 I can't drink this yet.

10:35:33.000 Why can't you drink it yet?

10:35:33.000 We've got to wait for the polls to come in.

10:35:35.000 How long?

10:35:37.000 How long does it take?

10:35:38.000 How many seconds can I down this?

10:35:40.000 In how many seconds can you down this?

10:35:41.000 Okay, so we have a poll going?

10:35:42.000 Okay, in how many seconds can Aaron the intern... What?

10:35:47.000 What, Sven?

10:35:49.000 You can't do a poll, you've got to just ask the question.

10:35:52.000 Sven, double check to make sure it's not already up the poll to see... It's a poll, how fast can Sven... I've got to blare away at this bitch. 1.00

10:35:52.000 What's the poll? 1.00

10:36:04.000 Hey, by the way, Blaire White taping Ghost of Christmas.

10:36:06.000 Blaire, if you're watching, and her boyfriend, Joey, was very nice.

10:36:10.000 Her boyfriend, Joey, was a super cool dude.

10:36:13.000 And that scene where she got me in a headlock, Joey was there, I said, listen, I hope you know that I wrote this.

10:36:17.000 And he's like, yeah, I know, because it's funny, because it's Blaire.

10:36:19.000 It's totally fine.

10:36:20.000 And Blaire White really got me in the bosoms. 1.00

10:36:24.000 And I looked at him, and he was like, dude, it's hilarious.

10:36:26.000 Don't worry.

10:36:26.000 Joey and Hilary both laughed their asses off.

10:36:28.000 Oh yeah, my wife loves it. 0.99

10:36:29.000 My wife is a total, you know, they call her a faghead because she was a model for a long time, so gay guys love her. 0.99

10:36:33.000 I was like, I don't know if it's the same thing with trannies. 1.00

10:36:35.000 Turns out they like her! 0.56

10:36:37.000 Works out.

10:36:38.000 I would tell you this.

10:36:40.000 We've played Spot the Trainee.

10:36:41.000 We all agreed with Blair.

10:36:43.000 And I hope Blair doesn't take offense to this, because it would be... I think it's more of a compliment.

10:36:46.000 Yeah, we wouldn't know.

10:36:48.000 Yeah.

10:36:49.000 I mean, going by the thumbnail picture that's on Twitter, your dad and I were having a candid conversation.

10:36:53.000 He's like, so, you know, Blair what?

10:36:55.000 And I'm like, yeah, I didn't know.

10:36:57.000 You know what would give me pause with Blair?

10:36:58.000 I had no idea.

10:37:00.000 What do you think, Aaron?

10:37:01.000 What would give me pause is almost too feminine. 0.97

10:37:07.000 Like in the mannerisms where you'd be like, hold on a second, this is almost a caricature of a girl. 0.89

10:37:07.000 You know what I mean? 0.89

10:37:13.000 Maybe.

10:37:14.000 I don't know.

10:37:14.000 But I don't think I would catch on.

10:37:15.000 I think most people though, that's what like... No one can hear you.

10:37:19.000 You meet like a gay guy and they're just being women. 1.00

10:37:21.000 That's what it really comes down to.

10:37:23.000 Yeah.

10:37:24.000 I guess you're right.

10:37:25.000 I don't know.

10:37:25.000 Maybe.

10:37:26.000 But Blair was very nice, came out... By the way, special thanks to Hodge Twins, Clint Howard, Blair White, Bill Richmond, our half-Asian lawyer, and we have Mark... Well, people did guess.

10:37:36.000 That's right.

10:37:36.000 Coach Ripito.

10:37:37.000 Mark Ripito for narrating.

10:37:39.000 Oh, he did that?

10:37:40.000 Yep.

10:37:41.000 And there's actually, there are more cameos to follow in a YouTube Carol.

10:37:45.000 We have segment four, and then the grand finale of tonight is the entire episode.

10:37:50.000 We're gonna put it up and have a grand finale.

10:37:52.000 That's the way to end the show right there.

10:37:53.000 Although I don't take any responsibility for not gay Jared singing.

10:37:57.000 Ooh.

10:37:58.000 Ooh, yeah, that's true.

10:38:00.000 Is the poll up, Sven Computer?

10:38:03.000 Yes, the pull is up.

10:38:04.000 I gave four options.

10:38:05.000 The first one is under 10 seconds, then under 20 seconds, then actually it would be 21 to 30.

10:38:10.000 I don't want anyone getting sick in the studio.

10:38:12.000 Yes, but... Just do me a favor, go throw up where the caroler would lock yourself in. 1.00

10:38:15.000 I'm not gonna throw this up.

10:38:17.000 On the caroler.

10:38:18.000 You heard the story of the carolers.

10:38:19.000 I was there.

10:38:19.000 Well, you were there.

10:38:20.000 I was there.

10:38:20.000 How bad was it?

10:38:21.000 No, I wasn't there.

10:38:22.000 I was filming.

10:38:23.000 For people who don't know, by the way, hashtag CrowderCNN live stream.

10:38:25.000 For people who are re-hearing it, we had carolers come in.

10:38:27.000 It was a quartet.

10:38:28.000 One of them refused to come in and serenade me because she found out who I was. 0.98

10:38:32.000 She was like bawling. 1.00

10:38:33.000 She was convulsing and crying and unable to control herself, according to your dad.

10:38:37.000 I heard the story from him.

10:38:38.000 So you weren't there for that?

10:38:39.000 No, but I did drive out.

10:38:41.000 Pick up some supplies, and I did see her.

10:38:43.000 Okay.

10:38:44.000 She was very upset in the car.

10:38:45.000 On the way out, like, to the point where you probably thought I did something horrible?

10:38:48.000 Yeah, it was like, it was like somebody threw, you know, food in her face.

10:38:48.000 Yeah.

10:38:52.000 Yeah.

10:38:53.000 She was very upset.

10:38:53.000 I don't understand, like, is there, is there somebody on the liberal side, like, as a normal person, that you'd be like, yeah, this person is so bad, I wouldn't want to be around them?

10:38:59.000 Like, I wouldn't care.

10:39:00.000 Maybe I disagree with them, but I wouldn't care.

10:39:01.000 I think that if I were in a room, and I've said this for, if I were in a room with Nancy Pelosi, I'd just start vomiting uncontrollably with the Exorcist.

10:39:08.000 But if someone, if I were in a green room, and they said, hey, you're going to be doing stand-up for Nancy Pelosi, I would probably say, listen, she's not going to find me funny.

10:39:15.000 I don't want to do this.

10:39:17.000 Here's your money back.

10:39:18.000 But if they said, hey, Nancy is open to have, if you go in, you can have a conversation with Nancy, I would go in.

10:39:24.000 I would go in if it were Hitler. 0.98

10:39:25.000 I would go in and have that conversation.

10:39:27.000 I guarantee you, that's something I can't even fathom.

10:39:28.000 Because Nancy can make her the butt of a lot of jokes. 1.00

10:39:30.000 Yeah, I'd just go in and I'd be like, hey Nancy, why the long face?

10:39:34.000 And she'd be like, what? 0.99

10:39:34.000 I'd be like, I'm sorry, I meant why the horribly frightening bitch face? 0.99

10:39:40.000 I had to rephrase. 0.96

10:39:41.000 And then she wouldn't laugh, but I wouldn't be able to tell because she'd be like... And I'd be like, Nancy, are you laughing?

10:39:46.000 Are you frowning?

10:39:46.000 She'd be like, can't you tell?

10:39:47.000 I'd be like, no, because of the horribly frightening bitch face, Nancy. 1.00

10:39:49.000 You know when you're aborting three million babies a year? 1.00

10:39:52.000 You know that one time?

10:39:54.000 And then her frown would go...

10:39:56.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

10:39:57.000 That does sound good.

10:39:58.000 People just smile at my face.

10:39:59.000 I like choice.

10:40:00.000 Oh gosh.

10:40:01.000 Nancy Pelosi is, I've said this, I don't misuse the word evil.

10:40:04.000 Oh man.

10:40:05.000 And I don't even misuse it for Hillary Clinton.

10:40:06.000 I think Hillary Clinton is just, a part of me somewhat feels empathetic because she's been humiliated by her husband.

10:40:13.000 Yeah.

10:40:14.000 I just think Nancy Pelosi is one of the few people who I really genuinely think has no morals and is evil.

10:40:21.000 Well, you're not the only person with that opinion, too.

10:40:24.000 Mr. Narrator has the same opinion.

10:40:25.000 Remember the bottle of wine?

10:40:26.000 Oh, yeah, Coach Mark Ripito.

10:40:27.000 Remember when we were over at the tasting room?

10:40:29.000 Yeah, Coach Mark Ripito.

10:40:29.000 He wouldn't be mad at us.

10:40:30.000 He had some really nice bottles of wine.

10:40:33.000 He gave me a $400 bottle of Will It Rye, a limited edition.

10:40:36.000 And he had a really expensive bottle of wine.

10:40:38.000 I hope Coach Ripito doesn't mind me saying this.

10:40:41.000 And I said, like, I don't remember what I said.

10:40:42.000 He said, well, I have... I said, you're going to have to save it for a special occasion.

10:40:45.000 And he's like... He said...

10:40:47.000 He had one in mind.

10:40:48.000 He said, I'll save this to uncork when Nancy Pelosi dies.

10:40:53.000 And I said, Mark, that was really dark.

10:40:57.000 He's like, oh, I'm not even joking.

10:40:59.000 have one for harry reed already when when when nancy pelosi dies the best part about this is that somebody took the time to think about those things like you know what i didn't get a nice bottle like at some point he went to the store and bought a bottle of wine to prep for that bottle of wine or beer for christmas day much less yeah well i'll tell you what coach mark repito has foresight All right, so before the guest, are we doing the Aaron challenge?

10:41:25.000 Okay, what's the poll?

10:41:26.000 What are the poll results?

10:41:27.000 Let's bring it up as an overlay.

10:41:29.000 Can we bring it up as an overlay or no?

10:41:30.000 Yes, we can.

10:41:30.000 All right, let's bring it up as an overlay.

10:41:32.000 I guess the question was how fast can Aaron the intern chug this?

10:41:35.000 Yeah, so the majority of people think he will do it between 10 and 20 seconds.

10:41:39.000 How many people answered?

10:41:40.000 821 now.

10:41:42.000 This poll has been up for like four minutes.

10:41:42.000 921?

10:41:43.000 Oh, it's been up for like two.

10:41:45.000 Beep, beep, boop. 1.00

10:41:45.000 People are lazy. 1.00

10:41:46.000 No, I'm saying that's surprisingly fast.

10:41:48.000 Okay, so most people think you will chug it between what?

10:41:50.000 11 and 20 seconds.

10:41:51.000 11 and 20 seconds.

10:41:52.000 31% say under 10 seconds.

10:41:54.000 80% say 20 to 30 seconds.

10:41:57.000 And then 13% think you're going to totally lose it.

10:42:03.000 Okay, hold on a second.

10:42:03.000 Beep, beep, boop.

10:42:04.000 Hold on a second.

10:42:05.000 So what's the majority of people think what?

10:42:06.000 11 to 20 seconds.

10:42:08.000 Beep, beep, beep.

10:42:08.000 The majority of people think 11.

10:42:09.000 That's pretty ambitious.

10:42:10.000 It's ice too.

10:42:11.000 How many beers?

10:42:12.000 To be fair, I've never chugged a huge beer.

10:42:14.000 I don't want you to get sick in the studio.

10:42:15.000 I can hold my beer.

10:42:17.000 I just don't know.

10:42:17.000 No, you really can't.

10:42:19.000 That's the thing.

10:42:19.000 I'm saying this respectfully.

10:42:21.000 Is it like him?

10:42:22.000 Uh, no.

10:42:23.000 You don't have a super high tolerance for a guy yourself.

10:42:23.000 No, no.

10:42:25.000 I'm talking about liquor.

10:42:26.000 Liquor.

10:42:26.000 No, beer, you don't have a high tolerance, Aaron.

10:42:28.000 No, I do.

10:42:29.000 My wife and I were talking about it.

10:42:30.000 Are you going to get angry?

10:42:31.000 No, no, he's a sweetheart when he's drunk.

10:42:33.000 But it doesn't take much.

10:42:34.000 That's why I'm genuinely, like, I don't want him to get hurt.

10:42:38.000 He's going to get hurt.

10:42:39.000 Aaron, you don't have to do this.

10:42:40.000 You've already thrown the poll out.

10:42:41.000 But I didn't even, this wasn't my idea!

10:42:44.000 And the poll's on my Twitter.

10:42:45.000 What happens if he hurls all over the studio?

10:42:47.000 That's not going in the next Cheers parody intro.

10:42:50.000 It would be funny though.

10:42:51.000 Alright, Aaron, out of your own volition, what do you think?

10:42:53.000 Do you want to do this or not?

10:42:56.000 I'm drinking this.

10:42:56.000 Okay, hold on a second.

10:42:57.000 Okay.

10:42:57.000 But promise me you won't do it beyond the point of like hurting yourself.

10:43:01.000 I promise.

10:43:02.000 Like if you really, like, okay.

10:43:03.000 If I feel like I can't do it, and to be fair, I've never chugged three cans of beer.

10:43:06.000 Yeah, I know.

10:43:07.000 No, listen, I don't care what, I mean, if they take you, they can just give you some knack and you'll be fine, but I don't want, just not the carpet.

10:43:12.000 Okay.

10:43:13.000 All right.

10:43:14.000 I've got a clock right now on my iPad, okay?

10:43:18.000 So let me know.

10:43:19.000 Yeah, Gerald, hold the mic up at him.

10:43:21.000 Hold on a second, breaking news!

10:43:23.000 No, never mind, it's just about Comey, Donald Trump.

10:43:25.000 I thought maybe we'd have to actually go back to CNN.

10:43:27.000 This is what you have to do.

10:43:28.000 Well, hold on, what's better when you chug beer?

10:43:30.000 Is it standing or sitting?

10:43:32.000 Well, Kobayashi would shake his stomach to get more hot dogs in it.

10:43:35.000 Kind of like Anderson Cooper.

10:43:36.000 Let's do a countdown. 0.60

10:43:38.000 Are you ready?

10:43:39.000 Aaron, the intern.

10:43:39.000 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.

10:43:39.000 Matt Stein, go!

10:43:40.000 Alright, one second.

10:43:42.000 Are you ready?

10:43:42.000 Five, four, three, two, one.

10:43:48.000 That's dying.

10:43:48.000 Go, Aaron, the intern.

10:43:49.000 There we go.

10:43:50.000 All right, one second.

10:43:51.000 Two, three, five, six, eight.

10:43:58.000 Don't feel like you have to beat the poll.

10:44:00.000 Don't feel like you have to beat the poll.

10:44:02.000 13 seconds.

10:44:04.000 14 seconds.

10:44:05.000 Don't get yourself sick.

10:44:06.000 Not on my carpet.

10:44:08.000 19 seconds.

10:44:09.000 21.

10:44:09.000 20.

10:44:09.000 The majority of the poll people were wrong.

10:44:13.000 What was the second most?

10:44:14.000 On the 10 seconds.

10:44:16.000 So third was anyone after?

10:44:18.000 Well, I don't call.

10:44:19.000 Yeah, the brain freeze.

10:44:20.000 And oh my gosh, there's some significant backwash in there.

10:44:23.000 I can see it.

10:44:23.000 Look at that.

10:44:24.000 That's disgusting.

10:44:25.000 That's my stein! 0.78

10:44:27.000 Oh, he's getting it all over himself!

10:44:27.000 Oh, it's your stein.

10:44:29.000 Alright, 40 seconds!

10:44:30.000 40 seconds.

10:44:31.000 42 seconds.

10:44:32.000 - See a timer? - 42 seconds. - I have to go.

10:44:36.000 - All right, you have to go? - Yeah, let's get Wonder Woman out of here. 0.96

10:44:39.000 Alright, get him in the bathroom. 1.00

10:44:41.000 Get him in the bathroom. 0.98

10:44:42.000 Wonder Woman, everybody, and the intern.

10:44:44.000 Thank you very much.

10:44:45.000 Let me just say, 42 seconds.

10:44:47.000 He was contractually obligated to wear the Wonder Woman costume.

10:44:51.000 He was not contractually obligated to chug that beer.

10:44:53.000 Sven, you looked really sad, Sven Computer.

10:44:56.000 Well, beep beep, I only looked sad because I think Courtney deleted my poll.

10:44:59.000 Which was fair, because I messed up the numbers, but... Yeah, uh... beep beep.

10:45:04.000 No, no, no, do not start!

10:45:07.000 I thought he was coming in a throw-up.

10:45:09.000 Yeah, and I was in the direct line of fire.

10:45:11.000 He's that kind of a vindictive intern.

10:45:15.000 All right, hashtag CrowderCNNLivestream.

10:45:16.000 There you go.

10:45:17.000 I didn't expect you would see that.

10:45:18.000 Did we miss the guest?

10:45:21.000 No, I think there was a little bit of a technical difficulty there.

10:45:23.000 I think it worked, Skye.

10:45:25.000 Okay, so we're not going to have Kevin Sorbo?

10:45:26.000 Yeah, I think we're going to have Kevin Sorbo, and we missed another one, too.

10:45:29.000 Did we miss Clint?

10:45:31.000 No, we didn't miss Clint.

10:45:32.000 Clint's still coming.

10:45:33.000 Steven Wilford, the guy from The Shooter.

10:45:35.000 Oh, he couldn't make it?

10:45:35.000 Yeah, he couldn't make it.

10:45:37.000 Okay, but we still have Clint, right?

10:45:38.000 Clint's coming up here soon.

10:45:39.000 Okay, Clint Howard is coming up in five minutes.

10:45:42.000 So Clint Howard is coming up in five minutes.

10:45:43.000 I'm resetting this.

10:45:45.000 Listen guys, let's get this out.

10:45:47.000 Hashtag CrowderCNN livestream.

10:45:49.000 Guys, here's the deal.

10:45:49.000 We've now had an entire news cycle, okay?

10:45:52.000 Most news occurs before six o'clock.

10:45:55.000 Yeah.

10:45:55.000 Let alone before 7 o'clock Eastern.

10:45:57.000 Everything is a rehash.

10:45:59.000 And we have our hit list.

10:46:00.000 For those people who are tuning in, the hit list.

10:46:02.000 CNN, Russia hysteria with the idea that Trump was going to fire Mueller, even though he said he wouldn't.

10:46:05.000 They had Adam Schiff on.

10:46:06.000 Nine months he's been saying Mueller evidence.

10:46:08.000 Nothing.

10:46:09.000 No mention of Uranium One.

10:46:10.000 Not once a day.

10:46:12.000 No mention of this, by the way, and we've been trending all day to one degree or another.

10:46:16.000 They said the CHIP program that Republicans wanted to put nine million tiny Timbs in a shallow grave.

10:46:21.000 Turns out that's not the case, because then it turns out that the Republicans actually didn't want to shut down the government.

10:46:25.000 They wanted to extend it to June 19th.

10:46:26.000 Oh no, that was the House thing.

10:46:27.000 That was the House thing, sorry.

10:46:28.000 CHIP, by the way, Republicans, not a single Republican is trying to get rid of the child health care initiative.

10:46:33.000 No, no one.

10:46:33.000 No one is.

10:46:34.000 No one is, no one is, no one is, no one is.

10:46:36.000 Uh, no mention of the Melbourne attacker being Afghani Saeed Nayori, who, by the way, said he was doing it because of the mistreatment of Muslims.

10:46:42.000 That's not even been mentioned up here.

10:46:43.000 Apparently we have this guy, we have Scarforehead on here, we have Lex Luthor to talk about something else.

10:46:47.000 And then, uh, they had Simone D. Sanders on to talk about the Mueller probe. 0.94

10:46:50.000 By the way, this is the person who mocked Trump supporters being by black people saying, uh, poor white people.

10:46:54.000 No mention of the 1995 Israel vote to move the embassy and recognize it in Jerusalem, which passed overwhelmingly in both the House and the Senate.

10:47:00.000 No mention of the short-term funding for Republicans to the January 19th.

10:47:03.000 They just now said, well, the House has extended it, even though they said the Republicans wanted to die them.

10:47:08.000 Wanted them to die.

10:47:09.000 They had breaking news just now developing Bannon hates Bush 43. 0.98

10:47:14.000 That was from October.

10:47:16.000 And then they only devoted 45 seconds to when the Tiny Tim Bill actually passed.

10:47:20.000 Yeah, and then when they had the one lone conservative voice that everybody would kind of get behind Rick Santorum on there, they gave the other lady three minutes. 0.60

10:47:26.000 They gave Santorum 20 seconds before both the host and the other guest interrupted him.

10:47:32.000 It was crazy.

10:47:32.000 Do you notice this?

10:47:33.000 Hold on a second.

10:47:33.000 They have the breaking news come in before they go to commercial.

10:47:36.000 Yes.

10:47:36.000 So they want us to, that's a cheat.

10:47:38.000 It's breaking news, Liberty Mutual.

10:47:41.000 It's a better spot.

10:47:42.000 Breaking news, USAA.

10:47:44.000 I can't believe it.

10:47:45.000 That should be illegal.

10:47:46.000 Can you imagine if you screwed over the viewers here like that?

10:47:49.000 They wouldn't take it.

10:47:50.000 Because they can walk away instantly.

10:47:52.000 They can walk away whenever they want.

10:47:53.000 These people are a captive audience on this.

10:47:55.000 Our parody with like Perry Matheson who used to do fake news and all the fake commercials that we would make and the fake breaking news and the fake warnings.

10:48:03.000 It wasn't any worse than CNN.

10:48:05.000 No.

10:48:06.000 It was just funnier.

10:48:06.000 It's pretty much on par.

10:48:08.000 So if you're going to go for news entertainment, go for something that's blatantly news entertainment.

10:48:11.000 Yeah.

10:48:12.000 That's my opinion.

10:48:13.000 Just call it what it is.

10:48:14.000 Breaking news! 1.00

10:48:15.000 I think CNN sucks. 0.99

10:48:17.000 It's not breaking news. 0.99

10:48:17.000 Are you used to FaceTime then? 0.99

10:48:19.000 It's been out there for quite a while now.

10:48:20.000 Okay, so of course the article is, by the way, the Comey thing they're talking about now, it's from June.

10:48:26.000 So I have this from Washington Post.

10:48:27.000 They're talking about Comey said, actually Trump did demand loyalty from me.

10:48:30.000 I have this article up right now from the Washington Post from Devlin Barrett in June.

10:48:35.000 And it was James Comey said President Donald Trump told him at the White House, I need loyalty.

10:48:39.000 I expect loyalty during their private dinner conversation in January.

10:48:42.000 That sounds reasonable.

10:48:45.000 But what's not reasonable is to act as though it's breaking news today.

10:48:48.000 Right.

10:48:49.000 Again, for people who are tuning in now, I know you're getting out of work.

10:48:52.000 I hate to repeat myself, but again, this happens in a 16-hour livestream.

10:48:55.000 This was the only way to prove to you definitively, beyond a doubt, the entire original clock of CNN.

10:49:03.000 It's all been a fraud today.

10:49:05.000 All of it.

10:49:06.000 And the actual news that you need to know about?

10:49:08.000 Nothing.

10:49:09.000 So this is, go reference this live stream, this 16 hour live stream whenever people talk about fake news.

10:49:14.000 When Facebook wants to say we're fake news, well listen, we're able to fight back because you guys joined up at Mug Club.

10:49:14.000 Yeah.

10:49:19.000 When YouTube wants to say we're fake news, what about CNN?

10:49:22.000 They're literally talking about stories from June and October and they have the chyron saying breaking news!

10:49:26.000 And every headline is misleading.

10:49:28.000 Either by what it omits or by what it says.

10:49:30.000 Every single headline.

10:49:31.000 So if that's all you get, which is what most people get, you're not only not informed, you're misinformed.

10:49:36.000 Yeah, I am genuinely... Okay, you tell me now, KJ.

10:49:39.000 Do you feel as though today is probably the first day in a long time where you actually feel out to lunch in regards to what's going on in the world?

10:49:47.000 Oh, absolutely.

10:49:48.000 I feel much more informed even in the brief time we spend in the morning before pitch meeting.

10:49:53.000 Yeah.

10:49:54.000 What do you think, uh, at Sven Computer?

10:49:59.000 Do you feel like this is probably the day where you're the most misinformed or least informed on news in a long time?

10:50:04.000 No, no, no, in a long time.

10:50:09.000 Yeah, compared to a normal day.

10:50:10.000 But my point is, a normal day, you just check the news and you move on.

10:50:12.000 We've been watching news all day.

10:50:14.000 All day.

10:50:14.000 And have nothing to show for it.

10:50:16.000 Really.

10:50:17.000 You've only been here for a few hours.

10:50:19.000 Tell us!

10:50:20.000 You've seen the outside world!

10:50:21.000 What's it like?

10:50:23.000 There's not a whole lot going on out there, but... The Melbourne Attackers, the main news story of the day.

10:50:28.000 Yeah, the thing that they're not covering.

10:50:30.000 I don't know.

10:50:31.000 I don't know that there's a whole lot else going on, but that doesn't excuse them from running the same stuff and pushing a narrative every time.

10:50:36.000 That's dishonest.

10:50:36.000 I think there's a part of it that is just genuine laziness.

10:50:39.000 I think there's a part of it that they put together a package, say, hey, here's a topic.

10:50:43.000 Here are three factual points about it.

10:50:45.000 Let's speculate for four hours.

10:50:46.000 Yeah.

10:50:47.000 And then when we get done with that, we'll save that.

10:50:50.000 We'll rerun it two hours later.

10:50:51.000 Well, that's what news has become, and that's why I think people enjoy shows like this so much, is because you get a lot of the facts behind the opinions.

10:50:57.000 We'll give you the opinion, and we'll tell you exactly what we think, but we'll tell you why.

10:51:01.000 Well, let me tell you the logic behind what we do, compared with CNN.

10:51:03.000 Right now they're doing commercials, so we're not missing anything.

10:51:05.000 Again, hashtag CrowderCNN livestream.

10:51:06.000 Yeah, commercial, non-stop commercial, non-stop commercial.

10:51:09.000 Sven Computer knows this, and NotGayJared knows this, and you've seen this, where we're like, there's nothing in the news today.

10:51:14.000 So you know what?

10:51:14.000 We're going to pick a topic, for example, oh, the United States was built off the backs of slaves.

10:51:19.000 Right.

10:51:19.000 Or we're going to pick a topic like the myth of the Native American genocide.

10:51:23.000 Or we're going to pick a topic like the myth of the Crusades and what they actually were as a retaliatory action.

10:51:28.000 There's so much to discuss throughout human history and through sociology and culture.

10:51:33.000 And since we're not beholden to lying about the news, we can come out, tell a few jokes about news of the day, and it doesn't have to be consequential because we can joke about it being inconsequential and then say, listen, not much happened, so we're going to dive into a topic today that maybe you might want to know about.

10:51:48.000 Now, if it's topical, we'll dive into the tax bill.

10:51:50.000 If it's topical, we'll dive into a terrorist attack that happens in the East.

10:51:54.000 Or we'll do the Historicity of Jesus.

10:51:55.000 Right, exactly.

10:51:56.000 But if there's nothing topical, we can do the Historicity of Jesus.

10:51:59.000 We can do the Historicity of the Kingdom of David.

10:52:01.000 We can talk about the history of the FCC.

10:52:04.000 We did net neutrality when there was a slow day a long, long time ago because we said, well, nothing's going on today.

10:52:11.000 Let's try and educate our audience on net neutrality.

10:52:13.000 Now, think about that for a second.

10:52:14.000 It was really boring to the point where a lot of people said, man, your guest, I can't remember who he had on as a guest, but he was a net neutrality guy.

10:52:21.000 He was really boring.

10:52:22.000 And he was really smart, though.

10:52:23.000 People said, man, it was really boring yesterday, but it was necessary.

10:52:25.000 I didn't really understand that about net neutrality.

10:52:27.000 This was maybe six months ago?

10:52:30.000 Uh, something like that.

10:52:31.000 Maybe five.

10:52:31.000 Think about that.

10:52:32.000 If you don't do that, if you don't take time out of your day to prioritize with news, people are only reacting to what they're hearing about net neutrality at the last second.

10:52:39.000 And it's just inch deep information.

10:52:41.000 And it's treated as newsworthy as this breaking news that Comey claims Trump requested loyalty.

10:52:45.000 I have it right in front of me.

10:52:46.000 That happened in June.

10:52:47.000 Not all information is dessert, right?

10:52:49.000 Sometimes you need the spinach of information, like you need the background and the understanding, the stuff that takes a little time to get so you can have an informed opinion when stuff does happen.

10:52:57.000 Right.

10:52:57.000 And sometimes you need to give them that.

10:52:59.000 I think, too, what you guys do well is that you don't act like there's breaking news when there isn't.

10:53:05.000 You take what you're given.

10:53:06.000 You don't try to create something to create some kind of fake watch, right?

10:53:11.000 You gotta watch because something's gonna come out tonight.

10:53:13.000 You're honest.

10:53:13.000 Yeah.

10:53:16.000 It's weird.

10:53:17.000 Honest is weird.

10:53:18.000 Well, here's the thing.

10:53:19.000 Even when we lie, it's funny and it's deliberate.

10:53:21.000 Yes. 0.99

10:53:21.000 Like when we say, Justin Trudeau's gonna be on the show tonight in just a big vagina costume, people laugh. 0.99

10:53:27.000 That's not any more illegitimate than what CNN claims is actual news. 0.97

10:53:27.000 But you know what? 0.97

10:53:31.000 Speaking of what's not fake news, it is our hero of the year, Stephen Williford, who's with us.

10:53:36.000 He's with us!

10:53:37.000 He's with us.

10:53:38.000 Mr. Williford, can you hear me, sir?

10:53:42.000 Mr. Williford, can you hear us, sir?

10:53:45.000 I don't think he can hear me.

10:53:46.000 He might be frozen.

10:53:47.000 What's that?

10:53:47.000 He might be frozen.

10:53:48.000 Oh, damn it. 0.99

10:53:49.000 By the way, did we ever get him all those shirts? 0.99

10:53:52.000 I believe so.

10:53:52.000 Okay, we had a whole bunch of shirts about Stephen Williford.

10:53:55.000 He's the man who took out the shooter outside of San Antonio.

10:53:58.000 Was it something Springs?

10:54:00.000 Something Springs?

10:54:01.000 Yeah.

10:54:03.000 My brain's getting tired, guys.

10:54:03.000 Sutherland Springs.

10:54:06.000 Okay, Mr. Williford, can you hear us, sir?

10:54:09.000 Yes, I can.

10:54:13.000 Mr. Wilford, thank you so much.

10:54:14.000 I just lost video again, but okay.

10:54:17.000 Well, we can see you, and my gosh, this must be a killer season for you with the beard.

10:54:17.000 Oh, I'm sorry about that.

10:54:21.000 Do you go to department stores and just start a bidding war?

10:54:28.000 You'd be a perfect Santa.

10:54:29.000 I don't know.

10:54:30.000 We had a Santa Claus at our parade that was just brutal.

10:54:32.000 It was awful sometimes.

10:54:33.000 We actually said, couldn't you get like Stephen Wilford?

10:54:35.000 Because not only does he have the beard, but he's cheery, and this Santa was grumpy.

10:54:39.000 Mr. Wilford, thank you so much.

10:54:40.000 Do you realize that you are one of us having you on the show after what happened in Sutherland Springs?

10:54:45.000 You are probably the guest we've had the most feedback about all year.

10:54:50.000 And we've had president, ever on the show, we've had presidential candidates.

10:54:53.000 So many people said, hey, we want to reach out and speak with Mr. Williford and send him, you know, whether it was shirts or food or offer their help.

10:55:00.000 And of course we kept your obviously location identity private.

10:55:03.000 But you've, you've, you had a reaction or people had a reaction to you that they've never had from anyone on the show, sir.

10:55:11.000 Well, thank you.

10:55:12.000 I appreciate all the support.

10:55:15.000 Now, did you get the shirts?

10:55:16.000 Did we get those to you yet?

10:55:19.000 We have not got them yet.

10:55:20.000 - Okay, well you know what, then maybe it's been, we have a bunch of shipments that need to go out.

10:55:23.000 We have some shirts that were made specifically for you by our merch people.

10:55:27.000 Let me ask you, how has the rest of the year here been for you?

10:55:30.000 Are you gearing up to, do you think you'll be enjoying Christmas?

10:55:33.000 Have you been able to relax?

10:55:34.000 Has the press left you alone now finally? - The press has pretty much left me alone.

10:55:40.000 Saturday is our Christmas ride with the church.

10:55:45.000 And we're hoping to have a lot of motorcycles there.

10:55:48.000 Now, we were actually at one point trying to get you a motorcycle to get a sponsorship going, and it was just really hard to get a hold of someone.

10:55:56.000 But I know you ride Harleys, and so how many people do you expect to have riding motorcycles down for this Christmas ride?

10:56:03.000 Oh, we have no clue.

10:56:04.000 Oh, all right.

10:56:06.000 I've been contacted by a lot of different groups that want to come, and they want to bring toys.

10:56:11.000 Well, we may have a real problem this year.

10:56:14.000 We may have more toys than we have kids to give them to.

10:56:17.000 That's a good problem to have.

10:56:20.000 That's great.

10:56:20.000 And this is the spirit of CNN time.

10:56:23.000 We can speculate on how many people will be there.

10:56:25.000 Yeah, this is the spirit of CNN.

10:56:26.000 We can speculate on how many people will be there.

10:56:28.000 Hey, Mr. Wilford, let me ask you.

10:56:29.000 Did you get any requests from CNN to appear on any other primetime shows?

10:56:34.000 Oh, yeah, I did.

10:56:35.000 Oh, okay.

10:56:36.000 You opted not to?

10:56:38.000 I opted not to.

10:56:39.000 Yeah, well, I don't know if you know what's been going on today.

10:56:43.000 We're an hour 10 or 12 or something.

10:56:45.000 We're watching 16 hours of CNN.

10:56:46.000 And I got to tell you, every single hour, every single headline has been a falsehood.

10:56:51.000 So, listen, we're in the late night show just doing what we can.

10:56:55.000 And so I hope you feel like we did your story justice.

10:56:58.000 We did you justice and gave you a fair platform because, listen, man, you touched our lives.

10:57:03.000 We only wanted to have you on to say thank you so much for giving us the privilege of having you on the show and for, you know, what you've done to save lives.

10:57:10.000 There's not much more.

10:57:11.000 I don't want to take much of your time, but thank you so much.

10:57:13.000 We're so glad you made the time here today.

10:57:15.000 Thank you guys so much.

10:57:17.000 I appreciate y'all.

10:57:18.000 You did give me a fair place to voice what happened, and I so appreciate that.

10:57:25.000 Well, thank you so much, Stephen Williford.

10:57:27.000 Heroes come in all shapes and sizes.

10:57:29.000 We do have to get going because we have some other guests.

10:57:31.000 I know you had some issues with Skype.

10:57:32.000 Mr. Williford, thank you so much, and you have a Merry Christmas, and let us know what happens with that ride.

10:57:36.000 If you have some extra toys, I'm sure we can help find some people who need them.

10:57:41.000 Thank you very much, and y'all have a Merry Christmas, too.

10:57:44.000 Thank you.

10:57:45.000 God bless.

10:57:46.000 Stephen Williford.

10:57:48.000 Nice man there.

10:57:48.000 A hero.

10:57:51.000 Hold on, intern Garrett is here in the corner.

10:57:55.000 Oh, he needs Jared for one second.

10:57:56.000 Do we have Clint Howard or is Clint Howard late?

10:57:58.000 Clint Howard's Skype issues.

10:58:00.000 Skype issues. 0.99

10:58:01.000 Ah, damn it. 0.99

10:58:02.000 What else is new? 0.99

10:58:03.000 All right.

10:58:04.000 Well, here's the thing.

10:58:05.000 At some point I'm going to need to grab dinner.

10:58:09.000 So... We've got a few things coming up.

10:58:12.000 Hold on, keep talking.

10:58:17.000 So I don't think I'd ever actually seen him.

10:58:19.000 I didn't get to see the episode where you interviewed him and gave him kind of the opportunity to talk about it, but I am shocked that he didn't do like a CNN or something like that as well.

10:58:28.000 I get it.

10:58:29.000 His daughter was a fan.

10:58:30.000 And that's why people say, are you Christians?

10:58:32.000 And there's a rhyme and a reason.

10:58:32.000 Absolutely.

10:58:33.000 When this guy saved lives, we got a scoop in the sense that his daughter was a fan and she was actually looking to reach out to us.

10:58:40.000 Because she said, I want someone who's going to give my dad enough room to breathe and not try and... Yeah, just manipulate him, whatever.

10:58:40.000 Okay.

10:58:46.000 Well, not only that, but also not doing a Barbara Walters, just trying to get him to cry.

10:58:49.000 Right.

10:58:49.000 Yeah, that's true.

10:58:50.000 Because he almost made me cry on air.

10:58:51.000 Yeah.

10:58:52.000 And honestly, just now, like, I want to ask him, you know, I don't want to be distasteful, but I'm curious, what's the fallout been like?

10:58:58.000 But I do think there are certain conversations that should be held for off air.

10:59:01.000 And I do this with a lot of guests.

10:59:01.000 Right.

10:59:03.000 And then if they say, no, I'm cool talking about it on air.

10:59:05.000 Right.

10:59:05.000 No, we do it.

10:59:06.000 I don't try and corner people and create that kind of drama on air.

10:59:09.000 But that guy, he's the guy who stopped the shooter in Sutherland Springs with an AR-15 and no one talked about it and he came on our show.

10:59:16.000 And gosh, what a blessing that that guy's been there.

10:59:18.000 So when people say, yeah, there's a rhyme and a reason to our life and this show, and of course you've supported it at lottowithcutter.com slash MugClub, where we've had scoops And you know what else I will say about Steven Wilford?

10:59:28.000 It taught me the conservatives out there who are real and who only care about some ratings.

10:59:33.000 Because he did our show, and he did a 40-something minute interview, and he did one other show that was his friend, local, I think in Arkansas or something like that, and some conservative sites that I know I sent the video to, and we had the better interview, the other one was a puff piece, didn't run ours, ran another one.

10:59:50.000 By the way, for people who don't know, it's not like Daily Wire.

10:59:53.000 Daily Wire I love, and they ran our piece, and we always support Daily Wire, and Shapiro's gonna be on the show, so just before the rumor mill starts.

10:59:58.000 But there were some other big conservative sites that never ran our interview with Stephen Williford, which to me is like, if you're a conservative site, and we gave him a platform, and he was begging for help to his church and support, and we gave him, and he said, this is the best platform that I've been given, thank you so much for being fair, and conservative sites didn't run it?

11:00:17.000 These sites are just in it for the money, you realize, too.

11:00:19.000 It happens on the right.

11:00:19.000 It happens on the right, just like on the left.

11:00:21.000 And that was an eye-opener for me.

11:00:21.000 Yeah.

11:00:23.000 It definitely does, and I think that's the sad part of it, too, because there's a business behind this, right?

11:00:27.000 Right.

11:00:27.000 So I think you got involved in this originally because you had a passion for bringing comedy and information together in a way that was fun and entertaining, but educational, right?

11:00:35.000 And being honest about it.

11:00:37.000 And obviously you wanted to have a business.

11:00:38.000 I took the brown nosing from Gerald today.

11:00:39.000 It's too much.

11:00:40.000 I'm not brown nosing.

11:00:42.000 I'm trying to give fans kind of an insight into this.

11:00:45.000 I feel like I can more than you guys because y'all are in this all day every day.

11:00:48.000 I have one foot out and one foot in.

11:00:50.000 So I have more perspective.

11:00:51.000 Right.

11:00:52.000 Swing both ways.

11:00:54.000 I do not swing both ways.

11:00:55.000 I knew you were going to get something like that.

11:00:56.000 Okay, go ahead.

11:00:57.000 You didn't say anything about Caymus being gay either.

11:00:57.000 Sorry, I'm going to interrupt you.

11:00:59.000 That was the first.

11:01:00.000 Well, I didn't want to.

11:01:00.000 The first time you haven't done that.

11:01:01.000 I realized it was too much.

11:01:02.000 Yeah, I appreciate that.

11:01:03.000 But I think you guys do a good job by... Because you're lonely.

11:01:07.000 I am not lonely.

11:01:08.000 I have prospects.

11:01:09.000 See, that cuts a little deeper than... It just throws me.

11:01:12.000 What do you do?

11:01:13.000 Do you throw the feint?

11:01:13.000 Like, what am I going to do?

11:01:14.000 Do I go, hey, Gabriel, you're lonely.

11:01:16.000 Ouch! 1.00

11:01:17.000 That cuts. 0.99

11:01:19.000 Call me straight up gay and I'm fine. 0.91

11:01:19.000 Okay, so I continue. 0.91

11:01:21.000 Yeah, of course.

11:01:21.000 I can kind of roll with it.

11:01:22.000 But anyway, I think you guys do a good job with that.

11:01:25.000 Obviously, you do want to have the business part, but you're not willing to sacrifice who you are to make the money.

11:01:29.000 You're not willing to just throw out a bad product just because it gets clicks or anything like we're seeing on CNN today.

11:01:34.000 No.

11:01:35.000 You do something that hopefully people enjoy, but even if people didn't enjoy it, this is what you would do.

11:01:40.000 Right?

11:01:40.000 Yeah.

11:01:41.000 Or you'd go on to another career and go, you know what?

11:01:43.000 Maybe this just isn't for me.

11:01:44.000 I go on to another career because nobody enjoys it, nobody signed up, but everybody did sign up.

11:01:48.000 Well, I think it's important, and this is one thing for people who've joined, and at Sven Computer can jump in because he was a Mug Club member before he ever worked for us.

11:01:55.000 Were you really?

11:01:56.000 Yeah, he was.

11:01:57.000 I did not know that.

11:01:58.000 His video included him with a mug.

11:01:59.000 We allowed Germany to get a mug? 0.99

11:02:01.000 Hold on a second, developing now.

11:02:03.000 Haley echoes Trump. 0.88

11:02:05.000 Breaking news!

11:02:06.000 Breaking news, everybody!

11:02:08.000 Haley Nikki Haley agrees with Trump on Israel. 0.71

11:02:12.000 This is just a crappy... Oh, there it is. 0.81

11:02:14.000 There's Kandi Crowley, remove water. 1.00

11:02:16.000 It's like Kandi Crowley who's been in a sauna suit who's been cutting for wrestling practice.

11:02:21.000 So, one thing I will say, and I'm incredibly grateful for, is our brand, Loud Earth Crowder, is based on, I know watch all the liberals say no, is based on truth.

11:02:28.000 Yes.

11:02:29.000 And listen, whether you agree or not, whether we get things right or not, people make mistakes.

11:02:33.000 But you don't go out and do Change My Mind if you don't think that you have, it's purely an argument from truth.

11:02:37.000 Right.

11:02:38.000 You don't go out there and put clips up and, you know, Sven Computer, at Sven Computer, does overlay after overlay every single day.

11:02:43.000 You don't provide direct sourcing and overlays if you don't think that you're telling the truth.

11:02:47.000 Right.

11:02:48.000 And sometimes we get it wrong.

11:02:49.000 Right.

11:02:49.000 You hide it.

11:02:50.000 Sometimes we get it wrong and we've apologized.

11:02:51.000 Yeah.

11:02:52.000 But that's what our audience will call us on.

11:02:56.000 The first people to tell us are like, hey, man, I'm a Mug Club member.

11:02:58.000 Yeah.

11:02:59.000 But I really think you got this wrong.

11:03:00.000 And so we have to apologize the next day.

11:03:02.000 So it doesn't work for us.

11:03:03.000 For example, if we only, the reason we're so excited about Walther and SimpliSafe was a great sponsor is it's a product that we use.

11:03:11.000 And honestly, SimpliSafe, I had security before I didn't use.

11:03:14.000 And then when they were like, hey, listen, try the SimpliSafe.

11:03:16.000 I was like, this is incredible.

11:03:17.000 Absolutely I support this.

11:03:19.000 But I've never sold anything out there that I either don't have in my house.

11:03:23.000 There was a sponsorship recently.

11:03:24.000 I was like, eh, I won't say what it is, but it involves, it's like one of those boxes delivered to your house.

11:03:30.000 And I won't say which one, there's so many of them, so I'm not really, but I was like, it's kind of gimmicky.

11:03:34.000 I was like, honestly, I don't, and it's kind of expensive.

11:03:37.000 And I didn't want to do it, and people were shocked.

11:03:39.000 So because it's based on truth, if we tell you, hey listen, the Walther, we use it, it's the best firearm out there, it's because we mean it.

11:03:46.000 And we may be wrong.

11:03:47.000 You may think the HK is better, you may think the SIG is better, but we all genuinely believe that Walther makes the best, and we went after them as a sponsor, based on that first.

11:03:57.000 We go after sponsors based on who we use and who we think the best is first, and if they don't, then we just don't run a sponsorship, we run another mug club ad.

11:04:05.000 Well, and I feel like, too, I get a little bit of perspective because I've been a close friend of yours for a while, but I've kind of seen where you started, kind of to where you are today.

11:04:13.000 You have no science.

11:04:15.000 I do have science.

11:04:16.000 But one thing, too, we always try to give you the facts.

11:04:18.000 I'll tell you that afterward.

11:04:18.000 We got into a big argument.

11:04:19.000 Oh, we always get into arguments sometimes, but mostly about Transformers.

11:04:23.000 One of the things that I love, though, and this is one of the things that attracts me.

11:04:26.000 Hold on one second, one second, really quickly.

11:04:27.000 Look at Wolf Blitzer.

11:04:28.000 Can we bring this up?

11:04:29.000 Look at Wolf Blitzer.

11:04:30.000 He can't even read Prompter right.

11:04:31.000 He can't do it.

11:04:32.000 He's looking down like this.

11:04:34.000 Now anyone who knows this show knows that I have a prompter, but I don't read a prompter.

11:04:40.000 I have a prompter for jokes, to know which topics are coming up, and to know which overlays we're going to be hitting.

11:04:45.000 But it's incredibly rare, unless I have something very specific that's a fact that I need to get correct.

11:04:51.000 That I have Prompter.

11:04:52.000 We can show you at some point what our show map is like.

11:04:54.000 We'll release one publicly at some point and you'll see.

11:04:55.000 It's like, okay, this point, this point, this point.

11:04:58.000 It's a guide.

11:04:58.000 But even then, I cannot believe that Wolf Blitzer doesn't know how to read Prompter.

11:05:02.000 I see his eyes going down.

11:05:04.000 Like, it is just so, such low quality.

11:05:06.000 The gap between what is on cable and even what we're doing here right now, and we're going for a feel, right?

11:05:12.000 We're going for the pubby kind of relaxed feel.

11:05:14.000 It is so minimal.

11:05:15.000 So marginal. 0.99

11:05:17.000 And for hundreds of millions of dollars, I think that's the biggest takeaway for me today, is how much CNN sucks and how much money it costs for them to suck. 0.99

11:05:24.000 Go ahead, continue. 0.99

11:05:26.000 It's a lot of money.

11:05:26.000 By the way, we have breaking news.

11:05:27.000 GOP intensifies attacks to undermine now.

11:05:31.000 Undermine?

11:05:32.000 It's changed to undermining the Russian investigation.

11:05:34.000 What does that tell you, the word undermine?

11:05:36.000 That we're doing something illegal.

11:05:37.000 No, it assumes the premise.

11:05:39.000 It assumes the premise that there's collusion to begin with.

11:05:41.000 Yeah, yeah, that's true.

11:05:41.000 Oh, okay.

11:05:42.000 It assumes there's nothing else.

11:05:43.000 You're smarter than I am, and so I didn't know.

11:05:45.000 Earlier this morning, you weren't here.

11:05:46.000 They said, did the Russians just meddle, or was there collusion?

11:05:49.000 I don't accept your premise.

11:05:50.000 How about neither?

11:05:51.000 Yeah, exactly.

11:05:52.000 So right now, GOP intensifies attacks to undermine Russia investigation.

11:05:55.000 Now, this is another thing.

11:05:57.000 Attacks?

11:05:57.000 Does undermine mean, guys, can we stop it with the Russia thing?

11:06:02.000 You just had McCabe for 7.5 hours and he said there's not a single source, not a single confirmed report of the Trump dossier.

11:06:06.000 And you've had to retract every report you've said on Russia that you've aired.

11:06:09.000 You've had to retract so much stuff.

11:06:11.000 Not every, of course.

11:06:12.000 So everything.

11:06:12.000 Right?

11:06:13.000 But anyway, this is one of the reasons that I think we need... And one thing, really quick, the irony is they're calling people conspiracy theorists for saying that the Mueller probe, you know, is a campaign against Trump.

11:06:22.000 It's like, listen, this is designed to discredit Trump, and they go, you're just a conspiracy theorist. 0.99

11:06:28.000 Pissing Russian prostitutes? 0.99

11:06:30.000 You've been running this whole conspiracy about Russia for an entire year! 1.00

11:06:35.000 How are we the conspiracy theorists for saying, you've had a year, you just had a guy sit down on your desk for seven and a half hours and say none of it's confirmed by the FBI, we think this is probably bullcrap, and you're like, well you're just a conspiracy theorist. 0.99

11:06:46.000 You told us he was having Russian prostitutes piss on the veneer! 1.00

11:06:52.000 I'm sorry, I've interrupted you like five times. 1.00

11:06:52.000 Okay, go ahead. 1.00

11:06:54.000 No, no, no, you're fine, but it's absolutely true.

11:06:56.000 I want to hit one point on that, too.

11:06:57.000 I was reading an article recently from somebody who leaned left, and I want to say that it was either New York Times or Washington Post, and he said, no wonder Trump is saying fake news.

11:07:07.000 And he listed story after story after story, that they came out, big headlines, and then he listed the story that they had to run to retract it, or the headline that they had to change to make it accurate.

11:07:17.000 And it was incredible.

11:07:18.000 I hope we can pull something up.

11:07:20.000 Maybe not today, but another time.

11:07:22.000 It's insane.

11:07:22.000 No wonder he thinks that, because every big reveal that comes out turns out to be nothing, or it turns out to be something that's overstated, or it turns out to be something that really doesn't matter, it's not connected to Russia at all.

11:07:32.000 Alright, back to what I was saying.

11:07:34.000 The big thing, and this is for everybody out there, and if this show ever stops doing that, you gotta find another show.

11:07:39.000 It's Act 1711, right?

11:07:40.000 Go out and form your own opinion.

11:07:42.000 We're gonna give you the facts, we're gonna give you an opinion, but go out and make your own decision based on the evidence.

11:07:47.000 And if ever people stop giving you evidence, why would you ever believe them?

11:07:51.000 I don't understand how stuff like this works.

11:07:52.000 It's a poll.

11:07:53.000 No.

11:07:53.000 Hold on.

11:07:53.000 Sources?

11:07:53.000 of CNN polls.

11:07:54.000 Hey, Sven, have you seen any sources today that have been like legitimate concrete sources outside of CNN?

11:08:01.000 Like, I haven't seen any sources outside of obviously a vote was taken, but it seems to me they just make a bunch of claims and they don't provide the overlays for them.

11:08:08.000 They don't provide the sources for them.

11:08:09.000 Is it just me?

11:08:10.000 Yeah, no, that's not just you, beep beep.

11:08:12.000 They just show a clip of something that happened, like the Republicans, on the stairs in front of the White House, and then they just give their opinion to it.

11:08:20.000 And then it's a poll.

11:08:21.000 Every single time.

11:08:21.000 And then there's a poll on it, yeah.

11:08:23.000 Alright, listen, guys.

11:08:24.000 It's 7 o'clock.

11:08:25.000 We're gonna start going into primetime, okay?

11:08:27.000 Yeah.

11:08:27.000 So, hashtag CrowderCNN live stream.

11:08:29.000 Time to step it up, baby.

11:08:29.000 Let's go.

11:08:29.000 The Crowder heads out there.

11:08:30.000 Here's what I want you to do.

11:08:32.000 I want you to start sending this to CNN.

11:08:34.000 At CNN.

11:08:35.000 At Anderson Cooper.

11:08:36.000 Start sending this stuff to their hosts.

11:08:37.000 With our quotes.

11:08:38.000 With our screen grabs.

11:08:39.000 With our clips.

11:08:39.000 Your photoshops.

11:08:40.000 Start sending this to CNN.

11:08:42.000 Make sure they know that you see the facade.

11:08:45.000 That's what I want to see right now.

11:08:48.000 This is... Hold on one second.

11:08:49.000 Let's go back to this.

11:08:51.000 We can't switch.

11:08:52.000 We can't switch.

11:08:52.000 Can you switch?

11:08:53.000 Alright.

11:08:53.000 Let's look at this real quick.

11:08:55.000 Let's break this down.

11:08:57.000 Breaking news.

11:08:59.000 Breaking news.

11:09:01.000 FBI officials backed up Comey and claimed that Trump asked for loyalty.

11:09:04.000 This is not breaking news!

11:09:07.000 Not breaking news.

11:09:08.000 Comey claimed that Trump asked for loyalty in June.

11:09:12.000 They're saying some anonymous source is backing it up.

11:09:14.000 That is what we call a lie.

11:09:19.000 It's a lie! 0.97

11:09:21.000 Straight from the pit of hell, Josephine! 0.88

11:09:23.000 It's not breaking news!

11:09:25.000 You can call it what you want.

11:09:27.000 You can say that, hey, maybe, it seems like now some unnamed, and by the way, I don't trust any unnamed sources anymore, do you?

11:09:33.000 No, no, not at all.

11:09:34.000 I understand protecting your sources, like when it comes to like the Clintons, because they're gonna kill a guy, right?

11:09:39.000 But like, when it comes to, it's just, everything is unnamed. 0.94

11:09:42.000 It's like, well, why does a source need to be unnamed if they're just claiming that some Russian prostitutes peed in front of Donald Trump? 0.96

11:09:48.000 Yeah. 0.86

11:09:48.000 Well, and how do you have people vet an unnamed source? 0.86

11:09:51.000 Like, how do you have this process?

11:09:52.000 That was one of the things the article brought up.

11:09:54.000 If you use sources like that all the time, you can't have people go in and vet them because then the circle widens too much and the source gets outed.

11:10:00.000 I understand rarely, right?

11:10:02.000 I understand rarely, like, hey, listen, we just have to keep the sources secret.

11:10:04.000 I get it.

11:10:05.000 I get it.

11:10:05.000 OK, but this is all they do.

11:10:08.000 FBI official.

11:10:08.000 Do we know at Spend Computer, does anyone know who the FBI official is?

11:10:11.000 Wasn't it the deputy, the deputy director?

11:10:16.000 I thought they had that on there earlier.

11:10:18.000 Do we know who it is?

11:10:19.000 Do we know who the FBI official is?

11:10:22.000 I want to say it's the Deputy Director, but I could be wrong.

11:10:25.000 I haven't seen it.

11:10:27.000 I haven't seen it.

11:10:28.000 Uh... Hold on, I'm looking right now.

11:10:31.000 I'm running some research and Sven's going to have it as an overlay.

11:10:34.000 They've been saying this is breaking news.

11:10:36.000 GOP intensifies attacks to undermine Russian investigation.

11:10:38.000 What does that mean?

11:10:39.000 Yeah.

11:10:41.000 But they keep throwing that up.

11:10:42.000 Okay, hold on, let's be fair.

11:10:43.000 Let's listen.

11:10:44.000 Let's listen for a second.

11:10:45.000 What does it mean, GOP intensifies attacks?

11:10:47.000 Let's go, Fat Bela Lugosi.

11:10:49.000 But as Manu said, what is key here is, in addition to the contemporaneous notes, there's now a contemporary corroborating with this, basically, to the account.

11:10:59.000 I mean, this isn't just James Comey now going to a car and typing up notes to make sure it's No.

11:11:05.000 It's not.

11:11:05.000 freshly kept right after the event.

11:11:07.000 It is also that he shared with a senior official inside the FBI.

11:11:12.000 Those two things together build credibility around what Comey says occurred.

11:11:18.000 So I think that is no doubt a significant development.

11:11:21.000 No, it's not.

11:11:22.000 When you look at the CNN poll, it appears that Republicans...

11:11:26.000 If you look at our internal poll from our Facebook page... - Among remote-- You don't need to keep the volume on this.

11:11:33.000 That's okay, Edward.

11:11:33.000 I'll let you know when we need to bring it down.

11:11:35.000 Thank you, though.

11:11:36.000 Breaking news!

11:11:36.000 GOP intensifies attacks to undermine Russia probe.

11:11:37.000 We haven't actually defined intensifies.

11:11:39.000 We haven't defined attacks.

11:11:40.000 Russia investigation down from 28% last month.

11:11:44.000 Breaking news.

11:11:44.000 GOP intensifies attacks to undermine Russia probe.

11:11:47.000 We haven't actually defined intensifies.

11:11:51.000 We haven't defined attacks.

11:11:53.000 We haven't defined undermining.

11:11:54.000 And then 61% of Americans say investigation is a serious matter.

11:11:59.000 We haven't even defined serious matter.

11:12:01.000 Do you see those general terms there in a poll and how that can be 0% indicative?

11:12:07.000 Yeah, 100%. 0.99

11:12:08.000 If I watched this and I had no idea what was going on in this country and I wanted to figure something out, I'd be like, oh, the GOP is a bunch of jerks that are attacking people that are just trying to get the truth. 0.99

11:12:17.000 That's what I would think. 0.98

11:12:18.000 And 61% of Americans would agree that this is a serious matter and we should just let things play out.

11:12:22.000 And that's not really what's going on at all.

11:12:25.000 Okay, so I have this from Reg right now.

11:12:27.000 So this guy on the left is Manu Raju, and he's the one who aired the fake news story last week about Trump Jr.

11:12:33.000 and WikiLeaks.

11:12:35.000 And now he's the one saying you gotta believe the unnamed sources.

11:12:37.000 And Trump Jr., obviously, that turned out to be absolutely nothing.

11:12:40.000 Oh, it was nothing?

11:12:41.000 Like, absolutely.

11:12:42.000 Do not say nothing, Berger, or you'll be kicked out.

11:12:45.000 And I said absolutely.

11:12:45.000 I didn't say it.

11:12:45.000 I know.

11:12:46.000 I should never say absolutely.

11:12:47.000 That's okay.

11:12:48.000 But, nothing.

11:12:49.000 There's nothing wrong with absolutely.

11:12:50.000 I know you don't want to be on this show.

11:12:52.000 It's absolutely wrong.

11:12:53.000 But that's the guy who posted the fake Trump Jr.

11:12:55.000 story.

11:12:55.000 The Indian guy.

11:12:56.000 He's reasonable.

11:12:58.000 Here's another Democrat, by the way.

11:13:00.000 Another Democrat.

11:13:01.000 There's been that one Republican from Missouri that did not have a hairdo on.

11:13:06.000 And then the other one.

11:13:08.000 Rick Santorum.

11:13:08.000 That's it, I think.

11:13:10.000 No, they had that, the guy who thought I had a hairpiece.

11:13:12.000 Blunt.

11:13:12.000 That's what I said, I said the guy from Missouri that did not have a hairpiece.

11:13:15.000 I didn't.

11:13:15.000 Oh, same guy.

11:13:16.000 Well, they'll have politicians on because no one likes politicians.

11:13:19.000 I know, but it's Democrats, like everything you hear.

11:13:21.000 It's not balanced at all.

11:13:22.000 Are they talking about McCabe?

11:13:24.000 Is McCabe the one who's saying that Comey said Trump asked for loyalty?

11:13:28.000 Sun Computer, is that what we're talking about?

11:13:29.000 Is McCabe the one who's saying that Comey said Trump asked for loyalty?

11:13:33.000 Send computer?

11:13:34.000 Is that what we're talking about?

11:13:35.000 A Mueller investigation or just an effort to...

11:13:37.000 So this isn't new.

11:13:37.000 Okay.

11:13:38.000 That would have been said yesterday.

11:13:39.000 Right.

11:13:40.000 Yes.

11:13:40.000 Right?

11:13:41.000 That's in his testimony yesterday.

11:13:42.000 So again, it's not breaking news.

11:13:45.000 This is why I was confused.

11:13:46.000 I knew that McCabe said that.

11:13:48.000 But I didn't think he's...

11:13:48.000 Yeah.

11:13:51.000 This is what we're talking about with something McCabe said yesterday.

11:13:53.000 And he was asked...

11:13:54.000 It seems as though Republicans' tactics...

11:13:58.000 Okay, I'm looking right here.

11:14:00.000 I'm reading up on this.

11:14:01.000 Yeah, okay.

11:14:02.000 McCabe was questioned for 7.5 hours.

11:14:04.000 He had no evidence in the Trump dossier, nothing confirmed.

11:14:06.000 And then he said, like, yeah, Comey did tell me at one time that Trump asked him for loyalty basically at a dinner party.

11:14:11.000 That's what you want.

11:14:12.000 I mean, not like loyalty.

11:14:13.000 You're making it sound like he's trying, he's going to break the law to be loyal.

11:14:16.000 And maybe he did, but we don't know if he did.

11:14:19.000 Right.

11:14:19.000 But even if it was just loyalty, it wasn't blind loyalty.

11:14:22.000 It wasn't illegal loyalty.

11:14:24.000 It was just loyalty.

11:14:24.000 Like, hey man, be loyal to me in this office with what you do in your job.

11:14:29.000 Okay.

11:14:30.000 So I want to make sure I have this correct.

11:14:32.000 And Sven, computer, correct me if I'm wrong, because I am very misinformed from having watched this now for how long?

11:14:37.000 How long?

11:14:38.000 I've been doing it since... You're gonna have to scrub your brain for a week.

11:14:40.000 More than 11 hours.

11:14:40.000 Okay.

11:14:45.000 They are now saying, breaking news, FBI official backs up Comey's claim that Trump asked for loyalty.

11:14:50.000 I want to read their headline and what this actually means is breaking news.

11:14:54.000 Yesterday, McCabe, under questioning for 7.5 hours, who said there was not a scrap of evidence for the Trump dossier, did in fact confirm that James Comey told him once Trump asked Comey for loyalty.

11:15:05.000 Do I have that correct?

11:15:06.000 Yes, PP.

11:15:07.000 Clearly that's the story here, PP.

11:15:08.000 Do you think their concern is warranted at all?

11:15:10.000 Can we bring back in the carolers?

11:15:12.000 I don't even care if it's the one who doesn't want to sing for me.

11:15:13.000 This is terrible.

11:15:17.000 Or at least a Mothra ammunition?

11:15:20.000 No, no, no.

11:15:21.000 Well, here's the thing.

11:15:22.000 Think about this for a second.

11:15:23.000 For those who are just tuning in, there was a caroler here today who bawled her eyes out, refused to come in and perform for me.

11:15:29.000 Think about this for a second.

11:15:31.000 If she's watching CNN, of course she thinks I'm a monster. 0.98

11:15:34.000 She thinks that Pence is a monster. 1.00

11:15:38.000 Paul Ryan is a monster. 0.99

11:15:39.000 If you're watching CNN, look how false it is! 0.99

11:15:42.000 How do you argue against this?

11:15:44.000 When people blame me for dressing up like a tranny and Wendy Davis for dividing the country... Like, here's the thing.

11:15:49.000 I don't think anybody... When we do the really absurd stuff, the really offensive stuff, right?

11:15:53.000 Not gay Jared? 1.00

11:15:53.000 Yeah. 1.00

11:15:53.000 When we do the really absurd offensive stuff, I don't think anybody... 1.00

11:15:58.000 Who wasn't going to be offended anyway.

11:15:59.000 He's going, that's it.

11:16:00.000 I'm divided.

11:16:01.000 I'm never talking.

11:16:01.000 No, I think people go like, all right, that's him doing his thing.

11:16:04.000 He's a comedian every now and then he goes too far.

11:16:05.000 But what will divide the country is a constant morphine drip of lies and bias, violation all day, every day. 1.00

11:16:14.000 It's been Trump is corrupt. 0.99

11:16:16.000 Republicans are helping with corruption. 1.00

11:16:18.000 They want 9 million tiny Tim's to die.

11:16:20.000 They don't care about the middle class.

11:16:22.000 The wealthy only get the tax breaks.

11:16:23.000 And the truth is, There's no evidence of the corruption.

11:16:26.000 Nine million tiny Tims will not die.

11:16:28.000 And as a matter of fact, no one wants to defund Chip.

11:16:30.000 And as a matter of fact, 80% of Americans will get tax breaks.

11:16:33.000 By the way, also something you're not talking about, the Muslim in Australia blew people up. 1.00

11:16:39.000 Because he said there was mistreatment of Muslims.

11:16:41.000 Yeah, and maybe he heard. 0.98

11:16:42.000 He didn't blow people up, he ran them over with his toaster.

11:16:45.000 Alright, you can turn it down now a little bit, sound guy Edward.

11:16:47.000 I was just, I wanted to see, I wanted to listen for a little bit and see if they had something.

11:16:50.000 Maybe we were going to get something good.

11:16:52.000 Oh my god.

11:16:53.000 Senator Mark Warner again with nothing.

11:16:57.000 I don't know why he signed up for this.

11:17:00.000 You should have just done waterboarding.

11:17:01.000 Do we have a game or something to break up?

11:17:02.000 I'm going to have to eat dinner soon.

11:17:03.000 Do we have an interview coming up here soon?

11:17:05.000 Oh, Ben Shapiro in three minutes.

11:17:06.000 Okay, and then I'm going to do... Is Clint Howard a no-go?

11:17:09.000 Clint Howard, I think, is a no-go at this point.

11:17:11.000 He's not very Skype savvy.

11:17:13.000 We usually do FaceTime, but we don't have FaceTime.

11:17:15.000 Oh, shoot.

11:17:17.000 Oh, well.

11:17:19.000 It's okay.

11:17:20.000 Well, hold on a second.

11:17:21.000 We're about 10 minutes out.

11:17:22.000 I need to get dinner at some point.

11:17:25.000 I need to eat something.

11:17:26.000 Can someone even just bring me something that I can eat?

11:17:28.000 Yeah.

11:17:29.000 I can just, I just can't leave because I have to, oh, you know what?

11:17:31.000 Here, hold on a second.

11:17:32.000 Ben is, hold on a second.

11:17:33.000 Let me see this.

11:17:34.000 At 615.

11:17:34.000 Wait, Ben is going to be in 10 minutes?

11:17:39.000 No.

11:17:40.000 Uh, three.

11:17:41.000 Three minutes.

11:17:41.000 Oh, never mind then.

11:17:42.000 So you should be good?

11:17:43.000 Alright, after Ben, but then Clavin's... I have to do Clavin right after Ben?

11:17:46.000 There's a little break, I think.

11:17:48.000 They're so fast!

11:17:49.000 Alright, okay, that's fine.

11:17:51.000 Not that I don't want to have Andrew Clavin, I need to get some... I think I'm out of water here.

11:17:54.000 Here, give me your water.

11:17:55.000 No, I think... I have some water, I'm good.

11:17:58.000 My throat definitely hurts.

11:17:59.000 I brought wine and all you want is water.

11:18:00.000 I understand.

11:18:01.000 Oh, you know what?

11:18:02.000 I do... You know what?

11:18:02.000 If you can grab a bottle of water...

11:18:04.000 That'll be fine.

11:18:05.000 Thank you, sir. 0.99

11:18:05.000 Sorry, because I have to host this stupid show. 0.99

11:18:07.000 You guys, I don't know why you're still watching. 0.99

11:18:09.000 I hate you for it, but I love you for it.

11:18:11.000 Lodworthcutter.com slash MudClub, please join.

11:18:15.000 I don't know why you put me through this.

11:18:17.000 Let's go back to the thing of you just forming a union against yourself at some point.

11:18:20.000 It's the only logical result of all this.

11:18:23.000 Okay, keep talking, because I...

11:18:25.000 Keep talking.

11:18:26.000 There's nothing to talk about in this news.

11:18:27.000 It's just the worst stuff ever.

11:18:29.000 Sven Computer and Jared, keep talking here.

11:18:33.000 Sven, you're in a better position over there because you can actually see the television.

11:18:38.000 I can't.

11:18:39.000 Yeah.

11:18:40.000 I've never been jealous of you in my entire life, but at this moment.

11:18:42.000 That's why I'm so relaxed.

11:18:43.000 Beep beep.

11:18:45.000 I can see that.

11:18:47.000 Can you imagine working in the environment of CNN?

11:18:52.000 That must be really tough, you know?

11:18:54.000 Because I think you're just so trapped in your little chamber then.

11:18:58.000 Yeah.

11:19:00.000 Chapter what?

11:19:01.000 The little echo chamber.

11:19:02.000 Oh, I thought you said chambered in.

11:19:03.000 I'm like, is that a German gas kind of thing?

11:19:05.000 I could see that.

11:19:08.000 All about the chambers.

11:19:11.000 I don't know, I can feel like it would just be a really, um... Oh my god, is this what you guys do when I'm gone?

11:19:15.000 This right here?

11:19:17.000 This is awful.

11:19:18.000 Awful conversation? 0.73

11:19:18.000 Someone swallow a knife! 0.73

11:19:20.000 Throw a piece of food at somebody! 0.69

11:19:22.000 Do something!

11:19:23.000 It just got awkward when I started talking about chambers and I realized what I just said.

11:19:27.000 Talking about chambers, it kind of got derailed a little bit, Steven.

11:19:30.000 Then we have Ben coming on next.

11:19:33.000 Hold on a second here.

11:19:35.000 I don't want to wait on Ben because I have to get some water because I have to keep up with this motor mouth.

11:19:42.000 My throat feels like I spent New Year's Eve drunk on lemon.

11:19:50.000 Or Anderson Cooper.

11:19:51.000 Take your pick.

11:19:52.000 Hey Gerald!

11:19:55.000 You know what?

11:19:55.000 Hold on one second.

11:19:56.000 Keep it going.

11:19:56.000 I'm just going to pour some water in here.

11:19:58.000 You got it.

11:19:59.000 You got time.

11:20:00.000 - We can go nowhere.

11:20:01.000 We're good. - All right, hold on one second. - More Liberty Mutual.

11:20:04.000 We're not missing anything.

11:20:08.000 See, one thing I think is amazing is that... They... They... They... No thanks, man.

11:20:13.000 I'm good.

11:20:14.000 It's why you're so happy, though.

11:20:15.000 - I'm never late.

11:20:16.000 - Does anyone else need water?

11:20:17.000 Do you need water?

11:20:18.000 - No thanks.

11:20:19.000 - I'm good.

11:20:19.000 - You sure you don't want water?

11:20:20.000 - No.

11:20:21.000 - You're just drinking Red Bull. 1.00

11:20:22.000 You're disgusting. 1.00

11:20:23.000 - That's why I'm so happy though. 1.00

11:20:25.000 Looks so chipper.

11:20:25.000 - What were you saying, Sven?

11:20:27.000 - I'm level-headed.

11:20:28.000 I just think it's amazing that CNN has recycled this McCabe story so much today.

11:20:34.000 They actually thought for a second that it was a new story.

11:20:38.000 Like a new old story they brought up.

11:20:39.000 But in fact, they just bring up breaking news with the same story with kind of different headlines.

11:20:43.000 From yesterday!

11:20:44.000 It was like Al Franken.

11:20:45.000 It said, from earlier.

11:20:46.000 When you run a story on news that says from earlier, I don't think anybody in their right mind would assume that means yesterday.

11:20:52.000 Yeah.

11:20:53.000 All right, do we have Shapiro?

11:20:54.000 We have Shapiro.

11:20:55.000 All right, Mr. Shapiro, sir, can you hear me slash see me?

11:20:59.000 Oh, I'm here, and I can see you wearing your crazy outfit, and you're not getting waterboarded this year, so this is not nearly as interesting as it was last year.

11:21:06.000 I am not, and I will say this, crazy enough, I'm 12 hours in, but you look more tired than me, so you must just be unhappy.

11:21:13.000 Well, I mean, you can always guarantee that's a true thing.

11:21:15.000 I mean, that is always true.

11:21:17.000 But also, I've been up since like some crazy hour, and I was up a crazy hour yesterday.

11:21:20.000 Oh, yeah, did you have to watch all of Wolf Blitzer?

11:21:24.000 Dude, I mean, I'm sorry.

11:21:25.000 It's hard for me to feel bad for you.

11:21:27.000 You are literally living the life of a welfare queen right now. 0.90

11:21:30.000 You're literally sitting on a couch, watching television all day, and then bitching about it.

11:21:33.000 By the way, this is my welfare charity belt.

11:21:34.000 It's not Mari.

11:21:35.000 All right, let me ask you this, Ben Shapiro, Mr. Smartass, Mr. Smarmy Little, ooh, our capital needs to be in Jerusalem.

11:21:42.000 All right, let me ask you this.

11:21:44.000 Would you rather be waterboarded or watch 16 hours of CNN?

11:21:49.000 I'm not as brave as you.

11:21:50.000 I'd rather watch 16 Hours of CNN.

11:21:52.000 Really?

11:21:52.000 I thought you took waterboarding like a man, but I'll be honest with you, that did not look pleasant.

11:21:56.000 I'll tell you this, I've been really looking forward to getting you on.

11:22:01.000 Ben, you obviously are one of our favorite, people love you on the show, you're one of my favorite guests.

11:22:04.000 Why were you up so early?

11:22:05.000 Is this because of work or because of the little ones?

11:22:08.000 Ben Shapiro is a father, by the way.

11:22:09.000 I was in that because, so yesterday I was up at like 4 o'clock Eastern time because I was speaking at a TPUSA event, flew back, did my show, hosted for Mark Levin, and then this morning I was up hosting for Glenn Beck.

11:22:21.000 So it's been, and then I did my show again.

11:22:24.000 So it's been like every hour has been a broadcast hour in the last 24.

11:22:27.000 Here, Ben, you can just recycle the same one topic.

11:22:30.000 I wish I could do that.

11:22:34.000 I was so close to saying, you know what, let's just take yesterday's show and recut it like a little bit and then I can just sleep.

11:22:39.000 Yeah, we couldn't do it.

11:22:41.000 Ben, I have to do this because I do this with each guest because I know obviously you haven't been watching all of it, but hit list here today from CNN.

11:22:47.000 And the reason we did this for people who are watching right now is because I said this is the only way to prove how biased CNN is. 0.92

11:22:53.000 It's the bias by And also because you are the worst masochist I have ever met in my entire life. 0.97

11:22:58.000 And every year you have to come up with some new way to torture yourself. 0.98

11:23:01.000 Oh, you should see my closet.

11:23:02.000 That's a fair point.

11:23:03.000 The walk-in closet.

11:23:04.000 It's a closet by definition only.

11:23:06.000 Next year, folks, show up as Stephen Crowder jumps on an IED for Christmas.

11:23:12.000 Well, here's the thing, because I really think the lies by omission are what are so corrosive.

11:23:17.000 They choose not to cover what their dishonest... Like, Keith Olbermann doesn't bother me.

11:23:21.000 He's going to drape himself on the American flag and blubber about Republicans.

11:23:23.000 I get it.

11:23:23.000 So let me just kind of give you a hit list here, really quickly, breakdown.

11:23:27.000 And then, uh, then we can go through it.

11:23:28.000 So, right away they start off the day by stoking the Russia hysteria, the idea that Trump was going to fire Mueller, even though he's... Mueller.

11:23:33.000 Mueller.

11:23:33.000 Even though he said he wasn't.

11:23:34.000 They had Adam Schiff on regarding the Mueller probe.

11:23:37.000 See, my brain is mush now, twelve hours in.

11:23:39.000 Nine months he's been talking about this, no evidence.

11:23:41.000 No mention.

11:23:42.000 Not a single reference to Uranium One.

11:23:44.000 Never.

11:23:44.000 Today.

11:23:45.000 It's been trending number one on Twitter.

11:23:46.000 No reference to this show, which was trending number three on Twitter.

11:23:48.000 They said the TRIP program, Republicans were going to kill 9 million tiny Timbs.

11:23:53.000 Then, no mention of the Melbourne attacker, Afghani Signore, being Muslim, nor being Afghani, nor saying that it was because of mistreatment of Muslims. 0.93

11:23:59.000 They had Simone D. Sanders on to talk about the Mueller probe, who mocked Trump supporters being beaten by a black mob.

11:24:04.000 No mention at all of the 1995 Israel vote.

11:24:07.000 Of course, the fact that basically the embassy is supposed to have been in Jerusalem.

11:24:11.000 It was supposed to be in Jerusalem in May 1999.

11:24:14.000 Every single president, Clinton, Bush, Obama, Donald Trump, all said they would recognize the Capitol being in Jerusalem.

11:24:20.000 No mention of that.

11:24:20.000 No mention of the short-term funding from Republicans to January 9th, so there wouldn't be a government shutdown.

11:24:24.000 Then when they finally put that through, and now we're kicking it to the Senate where it'll probably happen, They just said, oh, the House votes to not shut down, and they only devoted 45 seconds to that when they admitted that I think that the Tiny Tims, 9 million people won't have to die.

11:24:40.000 Also, finally, breaking news, Ben.

11:24:42.000 Breaking news, Bannon said Bush 43 is one of the most destructive presidencies.

11:24:48.000 I knew it was BS.

11:24:49.000 That was actually from October.

11:24:51.000 So this is their hit list thus far.

11:24:52.000 Are you trying to say they're bad at their jobs?

11:24:54.000 Did you think it was this bad?

11:24:56.000 You know, I have been, unfortunately, in the gym when the only thing on the television was CNN.

11:25:02.000 And the good news is it makes you so angry that you actually power lift.

11:25:04.000 Like, all of a sudden I was lifting like Crowder.

11:25:06.000 But the bad news is that you're watching CNN, and I will say that when you watch CNN for any length of time, what you see is that you are doing breaking... First of all, the number one thing is they'll say, breaking news, then they will repeat a headline they literally said 35 seconds ago.

11:25:19.000 That's exactly what they're doing right now!

11:25:21.000 Yeah, this is Wolf Blitzer's particular specialty.

11:25:24.000 He's really great.

11:25:25.000 What I love particularly about Wolf is that Wolf plays the kind of innocent, I just stumbled into a political show and I don't know anything better than anyone on TV.

11:25:34.000 It really is incredible.

11:25:35.000 He'll be in the middle and be like, so you're at a house called the White House.

11:25:39.000 Thank you for that.

11:25:43.000 Now this house you live in, President Trump, it's white, correct? 0.57

11:25:47.000 Yeah, that's pretty much all of Wolf Blitzer's show.

11:25:50.000 And the Russian hysteria.

11:25:51.000 I mean, I don't know if Adam Schiff has a real job.

11:25:53.000 I mean, obviously he doesn't.

11:25:54.000 He just basically sits on the CNN set for nine hours a day and waits for them to cut to him desperately hoping against hope that now will be his time to shine.

11:26:02.000 But I've never seen anybody appear on CNN as often as I've seen Adam Schiff.

11:26:06.000 One second, let me pause you.

11:26:08.000 Because right now it says, new tonight, Brennan calls Trump narcissistic vengeful.

11:26:11.000 They literally talked about that tweet four hours ago, but right now it says, new tonight.

11:26:16.000 Just like it did with breaking news.

11:26:17.000 It said breaking news, and it was Al Franken's speech from yesterday.

11:26:21.000 And then it said earlier.

11:26:22.000 Ben, you've been in news more so, obviously than entertainment for a long time, worked on radio.

11:26:26.000 What's the shelf life on saying breaking news, or like, when I see something on news that says earlier, I always assume it was earlier that day.

11:26:35.000 Not like two or three days old.

11:26:37.000 They do this all the time.

11:26:38.000 Yeah, I mean, they'll usually use breaking news.

11:26:42.000 They shouldn't use breaking news for more than maybe an hour or two.

11:26:45.000 Senate just passed, by the way, Senate just passed a stopgap spending bill, just so you know.

11:26:48.000 Right now, just kick it to Trump's desk.

11:26:50.000 So it's done.

11:26:50.000 Go ahead.

11:26:51.000 Well, I guess that we, once again, we were this close to all dying.

11:26:55.000 I mean, we've all died several times in the last weeks, right?

11:26:58.000 If you haven't died, it's net neutrality.

11:27:01.000 After net neutrality, you know, I woke up this morning, I hopped in my car, I looked around, and it was after the tax bill had passed, and I looked around, there was no one on the roads, I figured I was the only one left alive, and then I realized it was just 5.15 in the morning.

11:27:11.000 Who the hell is out on the roads at 5.15 in the morning?

11:27:13.000 This is the way that they cover the news.

11:27:15.000 Yeah, I mean, CNN's coverage, particularly on, you know, the Middle East issues, is pretty astonishing.

11:27:20.000 I did see, I, maybe, well, I'm sure you saw it.

11:27:22.000 So you tell me, I heard that Jake Tapper actually did a decent monologue on the UN and their bias against Israel.

11:27:27.000 So was that true? 0.99

11:27:28.000 I will tell you what, when he turned on, I think we had a guest who came in, or I was playing with my nipples. 0.91

11:27:33.000 No wait, that was where, I have a hole in my sternum here, and no one believed me, so we tried to see, I have an inverted sternum, so I was trying to see how many coffee beans we could fit in my sternum. 0.94

11:27:42.000 Take a guess!

11:27:46.000 208 coffee beans can fit in my sternum.

11:27:51.000 What am I doing with my life?

11:27:55.000 What have I done wrong?

11:27:57.000 Maybe we are all dead and this is hell.

11:28:02.000 I'm literally on a show where I'm guessing the number of coffee beans one of my friends can fit in his inverted sternum.

11:28:07.000 You don't need to guess anymore, Ben.

11:28:10.000 You know what?

11:28:11.000 That's it.

11:28:11.000 I'm converting to Christianity because obviously I was not saved enough to avoid this fate.

11:28:16.000 We're clearly happier! 0.99

11:28:18.000 Well, let me ask you, Ben, because CNN isn't giving us any crap. 0.90

11:28:20.000 I have a smile that's crossing my face. 0.91

11:28:21.000 It's amazing.

11:28:22.000 I've avoided the pogroms and I get to celebrate with the jury.

11:28:26.000 This is a long day for us.

11:28:28.000 Let me ask you, Trump-Russia deal right now.

11:28:30.000 When you were on the show, a lot of people know that you don't like Trump.

11:28:33.000 They go, ah, Ben's a never-Trumper.

11:28:34.000 But when you were on this show, you even said, no, I don't think Trump had anything to do with the Russians.

11:28:38.000 I think some, like Paul Manafort, people like that.

11:28:39.000 You said, I think people like that obviously did some things that were dishonest.

11:28:43.000 But with this investigation, I mean, seven and a half hours with McCabe yesterday and nothing.

11:28:47.000 Now they're trying to say breaking news.

11:28:49.000 Comey said Trump asked for loyalty.

11:28:50.000 Listen, you're not a Trump fan.

11:28:52.000 Is there anything new here for CNN to warrant being on the Russia probe all day nope there's there hasn't been anything new for months and and i don't really think that there's any i mean i have been saying for months i don't think there's anything there other than ancillary activity by man i mean i actually named what i thought was happening right i said there might be ancillary activity by manafort and flynn and i named the players because if you're watching this at all you can see who are the guys who are most likely to get swept up in this and it was never trump no it was It was never going to be Trump.

11:29:18.000 And as far as the idea that, you know, I dislike Trump, you know, I dislike his personality.

11:29:23.000 Sure.

11:29:23.000 I think that's not a presidential personality.

11:29:24.000 He does silly things. 0.94

11:29:25.000 But I've said since the election that I am sometimes Trump, right? 0.97

11:29:29.000 Gorsuch?

11:29:30.000 After the election was over, then it's, I mean, I coined good Trump, bad Trump.

11:29:33.000 Good Trump, bad Trump is a Shapiro creation.

11:29:35.000 I will claim credit for that.

11:29:36.000 We have a theme song.

11:29:37.000 And so the last three weeks has been really good Trump.

11:29:40.000 Really good Trump.

11:29:41.000 And last week, particularly, has been terrific Trump.

11:29:43.000 Yeah.

11:29:44.000 I mean, I can't help but love it when the man tells the UN to go F itself.

11:29:48.000 I mean, that's just spectacular. 0.86

11:29:49.000 Yeah, well, here's the thing, because a lot of people say, oh, he's a globalist cuck, right?

11:29:53.000 I think, wouldn't we both agree that Trump's saying, all right, you vote basically to admonish the United States.

11:29:59.000 That's all the UN vote was, right?

11:30:00.000 It was chastising.

11:30:01.000 It was trying to embarrass the United States.

11:30:02.000 There's nothing binding there.

11:30:03.000 Nothing's going to happen.

11:30:04.000 Isn't it totally reasonable to say, OK, you want to vote to try and just, you want to chastise us?

11:30:09.000 No more money.

11:30:11.000 Yeah, exactly.

11:30:11.000 It's great.

11:30:12.000 I mean, I think it's great.

11:30:13.000 And Nikki Haley at the UN... Angry Nikki Haley is my spirit animal.

11:30:17.000 That's sexy, Nikki Haley.

11:30:18.000 I'm not going to lie.

11:30:19.000 Angry Nikki Haley is... Angry Nikki Haley makes me want to put coffee beans in my sternum. 1.00

11:30:25.000 If you know what I mean.

11:30:26.000 If you know what I mean.

11:30:30.000 No, no, continue the one.

11:30:31.000 We just shut Ben Shapiro up!

11:30:33.000 We just shut Ben Shapiro up!

11:30:35.000 Ben Shapiro's at a loss for words.

11:30:37.000 Ben, take it!

11:30:38.000 You've accomplished something magnificent today.

11:30:40.000 With my Walther chastity belt!

11:30:42.000 Okay, go ahead.

11:30:44.000 This is a Walther, by the way, a sponsor.

11:30:46.000 It's actually a Walther appendix carry, but it just looks like a chastity belt under this lighting.

11:30:50.000 But you gotta admit, you gotta admit that one.

11:30:52.000 But yeah, Nikki Haley.

11:30:53.000 Okay, you win.

11:30:54.000 I like Nikki Haley a lot.

11:30:55.000 You think she's potentially presidential material? 1.00

11:30:58.000 It's hard to see how she's not.

11:30:59.000 I mean, she's obviously well-spoken, and she does have a gravitas that I thought she lacked, actually, in politics until her performance at the UN in recent months.

11:31:07.000 So that's been terrific.

11:31:08.000 Obviously, I think Trump's tax plan is quite good.

11:31:12.000 I think that he's stayed off Twitter.

11:31:13.000 He hasn't gotten in a fight with LeVar Ball, so he gets affirmative action points for that.

11:31:17.000 He doesn't, every time, President Trump, when it comes to, you know, what he does, if he's not getting in a fight with a low IQ human being, then that is a positive, a real positive for him.

11:31:27.000 I mean, I've been saying on my show, go on vacation now.

11:31:29.000 You know, Mr. President, you've had a couple of good weeks.

11:31:31.000 Now's a perfect time.

11:31:31.000 Go golf.

11:31:32.000 Turn off your phone.

11:31:33.000 Have yourself a Shabbos.

11:31:35.000 No TV, no phone.

11:31:37.000 Just go away for a couple of weeks.

11:31:38.000 If Trump deprives the left of the tweets, they're not going to be able to talk about anything except rehash this Russian stuff, which is a big nothing.

11:31:46.000 And not only is it a big nothing, there is significantly more evidence that the Obama administration was colluding with Russia.

11:31:51.000 Over Hezbollah, then there is that Trump was colluding with Russia to win the election.

11:31:54.000 Sure.

11:31:55.000 That's the real under-told story of the last couple of weeks, is that Politico story that just blows the lid off of the Obama administration basically saying it's fine that Hezbollah is smuggling drugs and murdering people so long as they can get the Iran deal done.

11:32:06.000 Yeah, well obviously not.

11:32:07.000 Uranium One has been trending all day for a reason, and not to do the but Hillary thing.

11:32:10.000 Here's the one thing, with Donald Trump, like we've talked about, I don't think Trump has had anything to do with Russia.

11:32:16.000 The problem with Donald Trump and Russia, like you said, is his tweeting, is his talking about it.

11:32:21.000 Here's the thing, the truth, as it comes out, is better and better for Donald Trump, but it gets overshadowed by him getting a little bit nervous, gets a little trigger happy, and then goes after someone on Twitter.

11:32:30.000 It's like, listen, if you said nothing and waited two months, this is all pretty good.

11:32:34.000 The fact that McKay was Totally agree.

11:32:47.000 I think he may be starting to figure that out because, you know, a few weeks ago there was talk that he was going to fire Mueller, and now he's saying, I'm not going to fire Mueller, which is the smart move, because here's the deal.

11:32:56.000 If Mueller comes forward with anything against Trump, we're all going to say, well, that The investigation was flawed from the very beginning.

11:33:02.000 I mean, we're going to have to take that into account now because the Mueller investigation was filled with anti-Trump people, some of whom were legitimately texting each other while having an affair that they had an insurance policy against Trump becoming president.

11:33:11.000 We're all going to have to take a serious look at that, no matter what they find.

11:33:14.000 And then if they find nothing, then he's off the hook.

11:33:15.000 So I think that Trump is starting to figure that out.

11:33:17.000 The real question now is, is this Is new Trump here, right?

11:33:21.000 Is this new Trump?

11:33:22.000 Have people figured out how to box him in?

11:33:24.000 You know, you praise him a lot, you do the Mike Pence routine, you say nice things about him, you surround him with people who are giving him good advice, and then you praise him and tell him to go golfing.

11:33:32.000 And that's fine.

11:33:32.000 If that's the way this is going to work, then maybe we have a couple of really good years here at the very least.

11:33:37.000 Or is this going to be another one of these instances where we get a really high high and a really low low, right?

11:33:41.000 What comes next?

11:33:42.000 And we're not going to know that until after the new year, I hope at least.

11:33:44.000 I hope that he doesn't do anything next week because God, we need a vacation.

11:33:47.000 Come on.

11:33:48.000 Well, I think I think it's a good point.

11:33:49.000 I think a lot of people understand that you can have both.

11:33:51.000 I think, well, if you you're just going to muzzle him and you're going to take away what made Trump what people like.

11:33:55.000 Actually, that's not really true.

11:33:56.000 So a good example, because people often like like Steve Bannon.

11:33:58.000 I mean, Steve Bannon, it's funny.

11:34:00.000 He's like, I'm a street brawler.

11:34:01.000 OK, Steve.

11:34:02.000 But to use the example of fighter, A lot of people say Mike Tyson was a brawler.

11:34:07.000 Actually, Mike Tyson was a pure talent, raw power.

11:34:09.000 This is an analogy.

11:34:10.000 I know it sounds, but this is an analogy.

11:34:11.000 It's pretty important.

11:34:12.000 A lot of people know Kamado, right?

11:34:14.000 People go back to his original trainer.

11:34:15.000 When he died, it fell apart for Mike Tyson.

11:34:16.000 Mike Tyson was a physical specimen, but Mike Tyson wasn't a brawler.

11:34:20.000 Mike Tyson was a guy with crazy power and speed, and he learned a style of peekaboo boxing, which was hyperly technical.

11:34:26.000 So what did that do?

11:34:27.000 That allowed Mike Tyson to defend himself, and then when the opportunity arose, And destroy people because he learned how to keep himself safe until then.

11:34:36.000 That's the same thing with Donald Trump.

11:34:37.000 Listen, you can be Donald Trump when the U.N. tries to embarrass you.

11:34:41.000 That's when we want you to you can tell them to go F themselves for all I care. 0.98

11:34:44.000 What we want you.

11:34:45.000 But that only holds water if you remain silent when the truth would vindicate you.

11:34:51.000 So I think people think it's one or the other.

11:34:52.000 It would be better for him in the sense of being a better Trump.

11:34:55.000 And it would be better for everyone because I like a lot of the policy.

11:34:59.000 I mean, I was asked by a member of the Trump administration recently to grade them, and I said, I'll give you guys an A-minus on executive policy.

11:35:04.000 This is before they passed the tax bill, so I said C-minus on negotiations with Congress.

11:35:08.000 Now that's probably a C or a C+. 0.99

11:35:10.000 And in terms of rhetoric, I'll give you guys an F, because the problem is that Every time you do something great, within five minutes you're doing something stupid again. 0.66

11:35:17.000 If you could get that F up to a B, this looks like a pretty good administration, right?

11:35:21.000 If suddenly all the boo-boos go away, like I did an entire list of his accomplishments versus his drawbacks, and nearly all of the accomplishments are substantive, and nearly all the drawbacks are rhetorical. 0.76

11:35:29.000 Nearly all the drawbacks are things like Charlottesville, or him getting in stupid Twitter fights with people, or him deciding that he's just gonna rip on LeVar Ball for a year.

11:35:36.000 You know, all this kind of stuff detracts from what has been a presidency that's actually gotten some things done. 0.94

11:35:42.000 And it's actually important now.

11:35:43.000 People are saying, well, you know, why can't you just filter that out?

11:35:45.000 You know, you Shapiro, you Kremlin, why can't you guys just filter that out? 0.81

11:35:48.000 Filter out the stuff that he says and just watch the stuff that he does.

11:35:50.000 And the reason is because what he says actually matters.

11:35:53.000 He's the president of the United States.

11:35:54.000 Right.

11:35:55.000 And right now, the Democrats, he's he's gotten a great year of economics.

11:35:58.000 He's gotten a good tax bill passed.

11:36:00.000 He's done really well in foreign policy.

11:36:02.000 ISIS is basically done.

11:36:03.000 He's done really well on a lot of fronts, and his approval rating is 37%, and it's D plus 18 on the general congressional ballot.

11:36:09.000 Right.

11:36:09.000 Which says to me that it ain't about the policy, it's about people don't like him.

11:36:12.000 So that means that he better do something to turn that around.

11:36:15.000 It's also because of things like you see with CNN.

11:36:17.000 CNN goes, breaking news, internal poll, people don't like Donald Trump, it becomes a self... Breaking news!

11:36:22.000 Most Americans don't think they're going to get a tax break.

11:36:25.000 80% of Americans are going to get a tax break.

11:36:27.000 So it's really hard to go by polls or approval rating because of the self-fulfilling prophecy that is CNN.

11:36:31.000 But I will say this, today they said earlier, Al Franken, they meant yesterday.

11:36:35.000 Today they said FBI official, they meant McCabe, they meant that was yesterday.

11:36:38.000 They've been recycling stories.

11:36:40.000 And here's the thing, very little of it has directly involved Donald Trump, because like you said, we've had good Trump, and so it's a fire that if he just stops giving it oxygen, CNN will embarrass themselves.

11:36:50.000 Today has been, I will tell you this, the difference in quality between cable news, for example, CNN, and your show, or even late night and our show, is so minimal now, it's shocking.

11:37:01.000 I'm amazed they have an entire research department and they've gotten so much wrong today.

11:37:05.000 Your research department is you and, like, one other person helping you produce.

11:37:08.000 With us, we have Sven Computer and a guy named Reg who does it remotely. 0.96

11:37:12.000 I think, if nothing else, today has shown us how much money they spend on sucking and being dishonest.

11:37:18.000 And if Trump just stops giving them oxygen, you know, they can only have so many days of news like this, Ben, until CNN goes under. 0.71

11:37:24.000 I agree.

11:37:24.000 And I also think that you may be the only person in America who's ever watched more than 15 minutes of CNN.

11:37:29.000 I mean, really, I think that one of the reasons they can keep recycling the news is because I would say probably the average time spent watching is maybe half an hour, 15 minutes.

11:37:38.000 Oh, no, no, no.

11:37:39.000 Half an hour would be off the chart spent.

11:37:40.000 I guarantee it's like eight or less.

11:37:42.000 So if somebody's watching your show, they're going to watch three hours of your show, right?

11:37:46.000 I mean, they'll watch the whole thing on YouTube, or they'll watch an hour of it, like a big segment.

11:37:50.000 When people listen to my show, they listen to the entire thing.

11:37:52.000 They're listening to 45 minutes to an hour of content.

11:37:54.000 And at the speed I speak, that's like an hour and 15 of content.

11:37:57.000 You know, if you watch it, and I'm not repeating myself, but if you watch CNN, the content repeats.

11:38:02.000 And this is not rare, right?

11:38:03.000 In time-bound media, where you're, like, live radio, this is true also, in any live setting, you tend to repeat yourself a lot because you only want to hit the top-line stuff.

11:38:11.000 You want to hit the stuff that's going to grab people's attention.

11:38:13.000 If they're just tuning in right now, it's sort of a rule.

11:38:16.000 When there's no news to actually recycle, you just end up recycling crap from eight months ago.

11:38:21.000 And right now, the last thing they want to talk about is the actual news.

11:38:23.000 Because if they were talking about the actual news, the actual headlines today are Nikki Haley just destroying people at the UN.

11:38:28.000 It's the fallout from the tax reform, which includes a bunch of companies coming out and saying they're going to give bonuses to people.

11:38:33.000 Like, they don't want to report that.

11:38:35.000 So they'd rather report on garbage that was rumored to be damaged. 0.65

11:38:38.000 Hold on. 0.81

11:38:38.000 More than that. 0.81

11:38:39.000 Boeing, uh, was it AT&T?

11:38:41.000 Several companies are raising their minimum to 15.

11:38:43.000 Oh, AT&T, Comcast, yeah, that's right.

11:38:45.000 Yeah, there were a bunch of them.

11:38:46.000 I'm trying to remember, uh, it was, uh, Wells Fargo.

11:38:48.000 Wells Fargo, that's right.

11:38:49.000 Remember the fight for 15, the protest.

11:38:51.000 Nakajara had signed up, by the way.

11:38:52.000 It was a fake.

11:38:52.000 The SEIU would show up, take some pictures.

11:38:54.000 He was never actually notified when the rallies would take place.

11:38:56.000 No, I get emails all the time, but they never actually take place.

11:38:59.000 It's just anecdotal stories of nothingness.

11:39:00.000 So there are two ways to skin a cat. 0.61

11:39:02.000 Raise the death tax to 68%, raise taxes on businesses from the highest corporate tax rate in the industrialized world, or, as we see right now with this bill, give people more of their money.

11:39:11.000 And guess what?

11:39:12.000 You got your fight for 15!

11:39:13.000 But there's nothing on it!

11:39:15.000 Nothing!

11:39:15.000 Nothing all day!

11:39:16.000 This is my favorite thing that happened.

11:39:17.000 This is my favorite thing that happened yesterday, was Chuck Schumer going out there and ripping AT&T, saying that the proof positive that corporate tax rates will not help companies is that AT&T only pays an 8% corporate tax rate, but they've not increased their employment for the last several years.

11:39:30.000 And as he's saying that, on the split screen, AT&T is announcing that they're gonna give $1,000 bonuses to all of their employees and increase employment.

11:39:37.000 That was pretty spectacular.

11:39:39.000 So he doesn't realize what's happening.

11:39:42.000 I mean, the Democrats are so shocked and appalled, and they don't know what line to take on this tax cut, because the tax cut's gonna be relatively popular, because people are getting money back.

11:39:52.000 There's never been a tax cut that's unpopular in the United States before this one, and so this one will flip as well.

11:39:57.000 Yeah.

11:39:57.000 So they're going crazy, and you're seeing Nancy Pelosi, as you mentioned, talking about Tiny Tim and getting that story completely wrong.

11:40:03.000 Completely wrong.

11:40:04.000 Or talking today about Frankenstein and getting that story completely wrong.

11:40:08.000 I legitimately at this point don't know if Nancy Pelosi knows how to read, because she's cited two great pieces of world literature.

11:40:12.000 I think she once could, but she hasn't blinked in eight years.

11:40:16.000 My eyes are so watery, I can't see through the filter! 1.00

11:40:19.000 It's like a fishbowl in front of my iPad, son of a bitch! 1.00

11:40:23.000 Why is the whole world anamorphic? 1.00

11:40:25.000 Okay, Ben, let me just follow up, because I know we have to go.

11:40:27.000 We have Clayton coming on soon.

11:40:28.000 Thank you so much.

11:40:29.000 Honestly, this is our last show of the year. 0.97

11:40:31.000 You are one of our favorite guests on this show, as much crap as you give me and I give you. 0.94

11:40:35.000 My favorite moment of today, okay? 0.96

11:40:37.000 And then I want to hear your favorite moment of the year.

11:40:39.000 My favorite moment of today is when people came out and talked about how Apple is slowing down old phones, and minds were blown on Twitter when I said, by the way, Tim Cook was a big supporter of net neutrality.

11:40:53.000 So it's like to me, it's like, hold on a second, you thought they were altruistic along with Facebook, Twitter, Google.

11:40:57.000 They're for the little guy.

11:41:01.000 And by the way, it's not like it's justifiable.

11:41:03.000 Like for example, if, if, uh, for, if I don't know, our, our internet provider said, Hey, listen, you're streaming HD all day for 16 hours.

11:41:09.000 We're going to have to charge you a little more than your basic plan.

11:41:12.000 I'd be okay with it.

11:41:13.000 In this case, Apple is just slowing down phones regard just because they want you to buy new phones.

11:41:18.000 And, uh, that's my favorite.

11:41:20.000 That's actually more work for them.

11:41:21.000 It's pretty good.

11:41:22.000 That's pretty solid.

11:41:23.000 In the last 48 hours, I have to say, my favorite thing was definitely my exchange with Rosie O'Donnell.

11:41:28.000 Oh, that's true.

11:41:29.000 Tell people who don't know, with Rosie O'Donnell, didn't she tell you to blow her?

11:41:34.000 My good friend Rosie O'Donnell, she tweeted out that she wanted to bribe a bunch of Republican senators not to vote for the tax bill. 1.00

11:41:40.000 This was Tuesday evening.

11:41:42.000 And I tweeted out, like, Rosie, this is called federal bribery, right?

11:41:45.000 I'm under 18 USC.

11:41:47.000 Yeah, 201B, I believe it is.

11:41:49.000 This is a federal crime punishable by three times the amount you're trying to bribe to the federal government and 15 years in prison.

11:41:56.000 So you might want to back off of that.

11:41:58.000 And then I tweeted that President Obama, if he initiated an actual investigation and prosecution into Rosie O'Donnell, would immediately deserve to have his face etched into Rushmore.

11:42:09.000 That we would actually just start the carving tomorrow if he locks up Rosie O'Donnell. 1.00

11:42:12.000 So Rosie O'Donnell tweeted at me, To suck her dick was the actual line. 1.00

11:42:19.000 But hold on a second! 1.00

11:42:20.000 I'm gonna have that on repeat because Ben, you can see how uncomfortable he was, but he knew he had to repeat it for a fake thing. 1.00

11:42:25.000 Rosie O'Donnell said to suck her dick. 1.00

11:42:31.000 It was like me eating a banana earlier. 1.00

11:42:39.000 There's no way around it.

11:42:40.000 Just, you're in deep.

11:42:41.000 Continue.

11:42:42.000 Go.

11:42:42.000 This show is, oh man, just terrible.

11:42:45.000 In any case, so Rosie O'Donnell, so then I tweet back at Rosie O'Donnell and I want to get the exact quote because I was very proud of myself.

11:42:52.000 What I actually tweeted back to her was, quote, You're already a felon, Rosie. 0.99

11:42:57.000 Don't be a homophobic sexual harasser, too. 0.99

11:42:59.000 And then I followed that up. 1.00

11:43:00.000 Hashtag me too.

11:43:01.000 Can you imagine if Harvey, if they ever found out that Harvey Weinstein had said that?

11:43:06.000 Like, it would be, it's just Rosie O'Donnell. 0.99

11:43:09.000 It's everything rolled into, it's homophobia, it's transphobia, it's sexual harassment.

11:43:15.000 You could make the case that it's anti-Semitism.

11:43:17.000 I mean, I wouldn't, but for fun.

11:43:19.000 I wouldn't go there, but it's definitely me too.

11:43:21.000 Listen.

11:43:23.000 I did nothing to deserve this.

11:43:24.000 I was just sitting there minding my own business and talking about the law and saying that President Trump should lock her up.

11:43:29.000 That's all I was saying.

11:43:31.000 And all of a sudden, I find myself, you know, in a position where somebody is trying to force me to perform sexual acts that are anatomically impossible given her actual genetics.

11:43:41.000 And so I find this really troubling.

11:43:43.000 Wrong place, wrong time.

11:43:44.000 You were Rosie O'Donnell's potted plant, Ben.

11:43:46.000 I'm sorry.

11:43:47.000 It was just in the cards for you.

11:43:50.000 Okay, Ben, before we go, what has been your favorite moment of the year?

11:43:54.000 I guess 2017, big year.

11:43:55.000 Obviously, recently, Rosie O'Donnell.

11:43:57.000 Do you have one that sticks out?

11:43:58.000 Favorite moment of the year?

11:44:00.000 I mean, favorite political moment of the year?

11:44:01.000 I have to say, I really have been enjoying this last week.

11:44:04.000 So the Nikki Haley moment at the UN, basically telling them to go F themselves, I think that ranks really, really high on the list. 0.95

11:44:10.000 But it's hard to... I mean, the news cycle moves so fast that if you had asked me this three days ago, it would have been something within the three days before that, because it's just...

11:44:18.000 Crazy stuff has been happening all year, and the favorite stuff for me has not been all the stuff that's been happening with me, like the Berkeley thing.

11:44:25.000 I thought, by the way, one of my favorite moments of the year was you guys infiltrating Antifa at University of Utah, right?

11:44:29.000 Oh, thank you.

11:44:30.000 That was definitely high on the list.

11:44:31.000 That's also because we potentially saved your life.

11:44:33.000 That too.

11:44:34.000 I mean, I'm grateful for that.

11:44:36.000 But you hold my life in your hand.

11:44:38.000 So on the one hand, you'll try to save my life with that.

11:44:40.000 On the other hand, you'll bring me on your show, and you'll nearly kill me with talk of your inverted sternum.

11:44:44.000 Yes, it's true.

11:44:44.000 This is just the games that we play here on Latinx Radio.

11:44:47.000 This is absolutely true.

11:44:48.000 So there you go.

11:44:48.000 Ben Shapiro is 10-second Tom of the news cycle, the most recent news cycle.

11:44:52.000 Were you going to say something?

11:44:53.000 No, I was going to say my throat.

11:44:54.000 All right.

11:44:54.000 Well, listen, Ben Shapiro.

11:44:55.000 And by the way, his Tumblr isn't all that bad.

11:44:58.000 I mean, if you can get past the stomach cancer.

11:45:00.000 It does travel well.

11:45:01.000 But Ben Shapiro, DailyWire.com, the Ben Shapiro Show, and so the war begins.

11:45:07.000 Ben, thank you so much, brother.

11:45:09.000 And have a happy Hanukkah and a happy New Year.

11:45:13.000 We appreciate you.

11:45:14.000 You too.

11:45:16.000 And your mug ain't that bad either.

11:45:17.000 I mean, I even used it to pee in the other day.

11:45:20.000 Well, thank you, I appreciate it.

11:45:21.000 By the way, little known fact, in a pop-up tent... Yeah?

11:45:26.000 Yeah, the tumbler's one hell of a porta-potty.

11:45:27.000 Ben, thank you very much!

11:45:29.000 We will see you... No, hang up on him, sound guy.

11:45:30.000 Edward, he doesn't get to get a comeback after that.

11:45:32.000 That's a parting shot.

11:45:33.000 We're bringing a snack for you now, because we're going to bring in Klaven in a few minutes. 0.99

11:45:37.000 And then we have a surprise performance.

11:45:40.000 Okay, I need to get a snack.

11:45:42.000 Hold on one second here, let me...

11:45:45.000 Snack is coming in, uh, in time now.

11:45:48.000 And, uh, Jill Stein's been on, I don't know if you noticed.

11:45:50.000 I'm really worried.

11:45:51.000 I'm really worried that the snack is either gonna be, like, pure bourbon or something, because you want me to be a liability?

11:45:56.000 Or, can I leave and, can I leave and go, uh, just beyond, can I go beyond the green room?

11:46:00.000 Can I go to the bathroom down the hall?

11:46:03.000 Uh, if Darren is prepared to greet you on the way there.

11:46:08.000 Okay.

11:46:09.000 So, if I can confirm that, for sure.

11:46:11.000 Okay, let's see if you can confirm that, because I have to go just for a second.

11:46:15.000 We have a bathroom in the green room, but I have to go to the bathroom down the hall, because... Just if you can just confirm it.

11:46:21.000 Yeah, I'll try to confirm it right now.

11:46:22.000 I've been on air for twelve and a half hours.

11:46:25.000 And I love you, but I needn't burden you with this.

11:46:28.000 Can I go to the bathroom down the hall?

11:46:31.000 Yes, okay, they can walk me down.

11:46:32.000 All right, so listen, Sven and NotGayJarrod and Gerald, take the reins. 0.59

11:46:35.000 I will be back with Andrew Klavan in just a second.

11:46:37.000 Or Sven and Gerald.

11:46:38.000 Wait, Jarrod, Jarrod, you need to be here.

11:46:40.000 What happened?

11:46:40.000 I can't leave if NotGayJarrod's not here.

11:46:42.000 No, he's good.

11:46:43.000 It can't just be, no, it can't just be you and Sven computer.

11:46:46.000 He's coming right back in.

11:46:47.000 Okay, all right.

11:46:49.000 It's the reign of the co-hosts.

11:46:51.000 It's the reign of, it's the what?

11:46:52.000 He's getting the hang of it.

11:46:53.000 He's a better computer.

11:46:54.000 He's doing better.

11:46:57.000 Doing the BB, but that was a good interview.

11:46:59.000 Oh, I love- Ben is one of my favorite guys.

11:47:02.000 I think we're up over 16,000 people watching right now, too.

11:47:04.000 16,000?

11:47:04.000 Okay, I don't need to know how many people.

11:47:05.000 Don't tell me.

11:47:06.000 I just want to focus on the product, not on the number.

11:47:08.000 Yeah, whatever. 1.00

11:47:09.000 I'm just saying you're doing good, you jerk. 1.00

11:47:11.000 Merry Christmas, you filthy animal. 1.00

11:47:13.000 Yeah, Merry Christmas, you filthy animal. 1.00

11:47:14.000 Insane. 1.00

11:47:15.000 So Ben converted to Christianity right here on the show.

11:47:18.000 Rare spot.

11:47:18.000 I think he saw... And was shut up.

11:47:21.000 Well, he saw... Look, the Jews, they have a history of perseverance, but us Christians... You know, the Jews that are fans of us right now are like, just shut up. 0.99

11:47:30.000 We're bearing it through 16 hours of CNN. 0.95

11:47:33.000 That's true.

11:47:34.000 It's no 40 years in the desert, but it's pretty damn close.

11:47:37.000 I think it was 38 years in the desert.

11:47:39.000 Was it 38?

11:47:39.000 Yeah, I think it was technically 38.

11:47:40.000 Why did they round up?

11:47:42.000 I don't know.

11:47:43.000 See how the show changes when we start talking about theology?

11:47:47.000 I can't do voices or jokes or anything nearly as funny as what Steve can do.

11:47:49.000 I know you can't.

11:47:51.000 Probably your least capable talent.

11:47:52.000 Thank you.

11:47:53.000 Thank you.

11:47:54.000 I don't I think I'm fired after this too Yeah, so I was I was very impressed.

11:47:58.000 He's a he's a really good guy.

11:47:59.000 I've only heard him speak one other hopper. 0.57

11:48:02.000 No You know how many tweets I'm gonna get? 1.00

11:48:07.000 You just made Hopper feel bad, you jerk! 1.00

11:48:11.000 What do to you? 1.00

11:48:12.000 Oh my gosh, he did a lot.

11:48:13.000 Has there been has there been any news by the way?

11:48:15.000 Because I went out and checked, so I deleted Twitter from my phone a long time ago so that I would have some sanity, and I went and reloaded it back on just for the rest of tonight's show.

11:48:23.000 And I saw the Papa John's thing, he's gonna be CEO, or no, he's gonna be the chairman now, instead of the CEO, right?

11:48:28.000 So that's something that could have been talked about.

11:48:30.000 Yeah.

11:48:31.000 And there was, I thought there was one or two other things that were not, like, big, that were kind of noteworthy things that could have been, you know, talked about, but no, we're not getting any of that from CNN, and I kind of hate Steven for this.

11:48:43.000 I love him to death, but... I hate him for all of this.

11:48:45.000 Making us all, like, watch CNN.

11:48:47.000 Yeah.

11:48:48.000 And have just the boredom of that.

11:48:49.000 It's kind of bad.

11:48:50.000 No, I'm sorry.

11:48:51.000 I haven't done anything to deserve this, especially around the holidays.

11:48:54.000 I will say this.

11:48:55.000 I feel like this is like Saw, where he tells you, like, hey, if you go online to this website, like, the heat lamps are gonna just get hotter and hotter with all the people, and, like, all of the fans of the show are like, ah, this is great, we love...

11:49:07.000 Yeah.

11:49:07.000 You guys are having to do this.

11:49:08.000 And so, like, I think this was going to breed more things like this.

11:49:12.000 Yeah.

11:49:12.000 Hopefully not 16 hours.

11:49:14.000 Hopefully not 16 hours.

11:49:15.000 But, you know, what are you going to do?

11:49:16.000 Not much.

11:49:17.000 We can, what we can do is we can run a SimpliSafe commercial while I clear my throat because I feel like I want to... Can you do the let me clear my throat thing?

11:49:25.000 Here's my light.

11:49:26.000 Let me clear my throat.

11:49:27.000 And here we go.

11:49:28.000 A SimpliSafe commercial.

11:49:29.000 This is from our wonderful sponsor.

11:49:33.000 And we'll be right back after this, this word, this word.

11:49:36.000 Let it encourage you.

11:49:40.000 Look who I found.

11:49:42.000 I have nowhere to go.

11:49:43.000 Hopper, we're home!

11:49:46.000 What?

11:49:47.000 You mean, you miss me?

11:49:49.000 Hopper, of course we missed you, buddy!

11:49:51.000 But I thought you didn't want me no more, now that you have SimpliSafe and I'm a guard dog.

11:49:55.000 SimpliSafe is just as much for dogs as anything else.

11:49:57.000 You're the most important thing in the house.

11:49:59.000 Never leave.

11:50:01.000 You mean it?

11:50:02.000 Hopper! 0.93

11:50:03.000 You're such a good boy!

11:50:04.000 SimpliSafe can never replace you!

11:50:06.000 Yeah!

11:50:08.000 We can work together!

11:50:09.000 SimpliSafe can help make me a better guard dog.

11:50:12.000 Of course it can't replace me.

11:50:13.000 I don't know what I was thinking.

11:50:15.000 SimpliSafe can help monitor and warn, but it can't scare and bite bad guys like Hopper can.

11:50:23.000 Oh no!

11:50:23.000 Buglers!

11:50:24.000 Quick! 1.00

11:50:25.000 Run everybody!

11:50:25.000 They can't catch us all!

11:50:26.000 Oh no, the abominable snowman is back!

11:50:42.000 Haven't I shown you when I mutilate beasts and take out their teeth?

11:50:46.000 This is one mighty humble mambo!

11:50:50.000 Oh no!

11:50:51.000 They're just pushing on the cliff!

11:50:54.000 This got really dark for a children's special.

11:50:57.000 We better go look over the cliff mysteriously so that we can have conflict but still convince children that everything's okay.

11:51:03.000 Yeah, you're right.

11:51:04.000 Let me look over... No, they're definitely both dead.

11:51:06.000 their blood's all over the place.

11:51:08.000 The entire CRTV lineup, including...

11:51:29.000 Oh, oh, oh, oh, please, please help me.

11:51:32.000 I'm...

11:51:33.000 I'm not Gay Jared on the Shelf. 0.80

11:51:35.000 I only came to offer the Mug Club, giving you access to all of Vladaroth Crowder daily programming.

11:51:41.000 Only $99.69 for students and veterans.

11:51:45.000 But then, unspeakable things happened to me.

11:51:50.000 You can change this!

11:51:52.000 You have the power to change this!

11:51:53.000 Help! 0.98

11:51:53.000 Help me! 0.98

11:51:54.000 Please help me!

11:51:55.000 Please!

11:51:55.000 No!

11:51:56.000 No, don't go!

11:51:56.000 Don't go!

11:51:57.000 Please!

11:51:58.000 No, no, no, no, no, no!

11:52:00.000 Please, please, please.

11:52:01.000 I'm not good.

11:52:01.000 You're on yourself.

11:52:02.000 Please, you can help me, please.

11:52:04.000 Come back.

11:52:05.000 Come back.

11:52:05.000 No.

11:52:06.000 All right, we are back.

11:52:19.000 There we go.

11:52:20.000 And we have a guest on with us soon here.

11:52:22.000 One thing, I hate to actually eat while we have a guest on.

11:52:24.000 Oh, you know what?

11:52:24.000 I just realized, did I take this yet?

11:52:26.000 I don't know.

11:52:27.000 This isn't a sponsor, but it's actually, when people say what supplements are, I take very few supplements or vitamins, but there's actually just something called KSM-66.

11:52:32.000 It's the closest thing to, like, a natural miracle drug.

11:52:37.000 Really?

11:52:37.000 Slash steroid, yeah.

11:52:39.000 It decreases cortisol, increases testosterone, helps your immune system, helps with endurance, increases hemoglobin.

11:52:43.000 I'd like some more testosterone.

11:52:44.000 They're actual double-blind, placebo-controlled clinical trials, so anyway.

11:52:49.000 I've been sharing this right now to help me with my energy.

11:52:52.000 We have our guest.

11:52:53.000 Hold on.

11:52:53.000 I know!

11:52:54.000 I see your thumbs up, Sound Guy Edward!

11:52:55.000 Hold! 1.00

11:52:58.000 Gosh, I've been here for 13 hours.

11:52:59.000 Give me a break.

11:53:00.000 Alright, our next guest.

11:53:01.000 I love him.

11:53:02.000 You love him.

11:53:02.000 He's also on the Daily Wire network and their Tumblr mostly sucks, but his show is pretty good.

11:53:07.000 You love him.

11:53:08.000 You follow him.

11:53:08.000 It's the Andrew Klavan Show at AndrewKlavan on the Twitter.

11:53:11.000 Mr. Klavan, can you hear us, sir?

11:53:15.000 I don't think he can hear us.

11:53:16.000 Sound Guy Edward, all this thumbs up, and hold on a second, Sound Guy Edward didn't even have this stuff write yet.

11:53:21.000 What's happening?

11:53:23.000 I would have just taken the time to eat my raspberries.

11:53:26.000 Now I can hear you.

11:53:27.000 Oh, great!

11:53:28.000 How are you, Mr. Klaven?

11:53:29.000 I'm so much happier before.

11:53:30.000 Hey, look!

11:53:32.000 You, um, sorry, I don't know if you know what's been going on today.

11:53:34.000 You've been briefed? 1.00

11:53:37.000 I heard that you were going to sit in front of CNN for 16 hours, but I thought even you were not that stupid. 1.00

11:53:43.000 Well, no, you were wrong. 1.00

11:53:47.000 16 hours.

11:53:48.000 CNN, what are we, hour 12, hour 13?

11:53:52.000 Almost 13.

11:53:52.000 No, no, coming up in hour 13, right?

11:53:55.000 630?

11:53:55.000 Wait, we're coming up on 8 and we go to midnight, so hour 12.

Louder with Crowder - December 21, 2017

Crowder's 16-Hour CNN Torture Livestream! (Part 1) | Louder With Crowder

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