Louder with Crowder - #CrowderDNCStream!! HodgeTwins and Andrew Klavan Guest! | Louder with Crowder

00:00:00.000 This is nice.

00:00:11.000 Yeah, we don't do this enough.

00:00:13.000 I know, we used to do this all the time, remember?

00:00:14.000 God, it's just nice to get out of the house.

00:00:17.000 No, no, no, no.

00:00:17.000 No.

00:00:21.000 No, we're just here to... Jeez.

00:00:23.000 This happens all the time.

00:00:24.000 I know.

00:00:25.000 I know, non-stop, probably because someone had to show up in full skeleton makeup.

00:00:29.000 That's not fair.

00:00:30.000 You guys used to do the same thing.

00:00:32.000 Yeah, 120 years ago.

00:00:33.000 It was a fashion thing back then.

00:00:34.000 It was different.

00:00:35.000 People weren't doing the skeleton look.

00:00:37.000 They want you to get a new thing.

00:00:37.000 Yeah, 700 AD called.

00:00:42.000 Hey guys, what do you think about doing matching cloaks?

00:00:45.000 Ooh! 0.96

00:00:46.000 Oh, that'd be fun!

00:00:46.000 Yeah, like a clone.

00:00:47.000 Yeah, I can make patches, see how we like them.

00:00:49.000 Let's make sure it's not a three-piece rocker.

00:00:51.000 I don't know if anyone's thinking we're in a gang.

00:00:53.000 No, that won't help at all.

00:00:54.000 Freaking Crusaders had to ruin that one for the rest of us. 0.73

00:00:56.000 Oh, that ship sailed a while ago.

00:00:58.000 Hey! 0.99

00:00:59.000 No!

00:01:00.000 Don't panic!

00:01:00.000 We're just here to get... You can't talk with these people!

00:01:04.000 Get used to it.

00:01:05.000 New normals here, guys.

00:01:07.000 Maybe for you.

00:01:10.000 What does that mean?

00:01:11.000 Here we go.

00:01:11.000 Yeah, what does that mean?

00:01:12.000 All I'm saying, at a certain point, what you get isn't worth what you get.

00:01:16.000 Okay, come on.

00:01:17.000 We all had to make changes. 0.98

00:01:19.000 Not this sh** again. 0.97

00:01:21.000 Look, forget about it. 0.99

00:01:21.000 Forget I said anything. 0.99

00:01:27.000 You don't think it's because we have hell following with us, do you? 0.99

00:01:33.000 doesn't help you're a strange animal that's what I know you're a strange

00:01:41.000 animal I come to follow, come on and be sweet to me.

00:01:43.000 you're a strange animal that's what I know you're a strange animal I come to follow, come on and be sweet to me. 0.73

00:02:09.000 Ooh, yeah, see, I can't do any thrusting because I hurt my back. 0.98

00:02:13.000 Don't do that.

00:02:14.000 Blame the two people of color next to me. 1.00

00:02:16.000 The Hodge twins.

00:02:17.000 Conservative twins.

00:02:18.000 How are you, gents?

00:02:19.000 We're doing great.

00:02:20.000 Where the white women at? 1.00

00:02:23.000 That's a horrible way to start a stream. 0.98

00:02:24.000 By the way, the hashtag is CrowderDNCStream.

00:02:27.000 We'll be streaming all night.

00:02:29.000 We'll be taking some of your tweets.

00:02:30.000 There's a promo code, CrowderDNCStream.

00:02:32.000 You get $20 off if you join MugClub.

00:02:37.000 It is a pretty good deal.

00:02:38.000 It's a pretty good deal.

00:02:39.000 We're redistributing.

00:02:40.000 What is that?

00:02:41.000 That looks like a James Cromwell character gone wrong.

00:02:45.000 That's just like, they said, let's put a guy who sunburned and pockmarked on air because he has Rivers Cuomo glasses.

00:02:53.000 Alright, we also will be going through the entire lineup tonight.

00:02:58.000 We were planning on doing this for the whole week and then we realized that, you know, we didn't want to.

00:03:05.000 That was about it.

00:03:06.000 It was a death wish.

00:03:06.000 I mean, there was no way I was gonna let you do that.

00:03:08.000 Oh, my half-Asian lawyer, Bill Richman, by the way.

00:03:10.000 Half-Asian lawyer Bill Richman, who refused to dress in 80s garb, it's 80s night, best 80s costume, wins... what do they win? 0.95

00:03:16.000 I mean, they win stuff.

00:03:17.000 They win a lock of post-rehab Michael Jackson's hair over I thought he was Tito.

00:03:26.000 I gained a little bit of weight.

00:03:27.000 A little Tito.

00:03:29.000 Tito to Jermaine.

00:03:32.000 Then we have Cute Maddie in overlays.

00:03:34.000 Too Cute Maddie.

00:03:35.000 She makes me sick.

00:03:35.000 And we have Audio Wave here.

00:03:38.000 I guess the question of the day is why?

00:03:43.000 Why are we doing this?

00:03:44.000 Why is anyone tuning in to this at this point?

00:03:45.000 We were planning on doing it all week because we didn't think that they would announce the VP candidate and then when they announced Kamala Harris we said, oh okay well we don't need to watch anyone else because no one cares.

00:03:54.000 But then I looked through tonight's lineup and it's like a who's who of nobody cares.

00:03:58.000 Tammy Baldwin.

00:03:59.000 Who is that?

00:04:00.000 Tammy Duxworth.

00:04:01.000 Can you read this one?

00:04:02.000 Who's who?

00:04:02.000 More like who's that?

00:04:03.000 Oh, Chris Coons.

00:04:06.000 That's for the auto sensor on YouTube.

00:04:10.000 Andrew Yang, Michael Bloomberg.

00:04:12.000 Do you think right before he walks out on stage, he's just going to have to take the barrel of the gun out of his mouth?

00:04:19.000 Just a minute, sir.

00:04:20.000 Just a minute.

00:04:21.000 Think about this first.

00:04:21.000 Andrew Yang, if you guys have seen the screenshots where he just responded to people on Instagram, like, I can't believe it's Biden.

00:04:27.000 He's like, I know, me either.

00:04:28.000 It's like you endorsed him!

00:04:31.000 Yeah.

00:04:31.000 Disappointed in Andrew Yang.

00:04:32.000 Disappointed.

00:04:33.000 I understand and know the feeling.

00:04:35.000 And then they dropped him out just because they needed an Asian who didn't come across as aggressive.

00:04:40.000 They're like, Andrew Yang, you come out here.

00:04:43.000 You don't seem, you know, you seem like friendly.

00:04:46.000 Like, you know, you drink and you swear. 0.99

00:04:48.000 That'll get the kids right along with Cardi B singing about her wet vagina and then interviewing the potential president of the United States. 1.00

00:04:54.000 Yang's just going to R-butt Dwyer this thing. 0.99

00:04:57.000 It's going to be rough.

00:04:58.000 I'd rather be watching Cuties.

00:05:01.000 I don't know, you know the thing is with Cuties... Maybe Bill Clinton. 0.99

00:05:05.000 Yeah, who also spoke earlier at the DNC.

00:05:09.000 It's a who's who of nobody cares.

00:05:12.000 Also a who's who of registered sex offenders.

00:05:15.000 That's the DNC.

00:05:16.000 Right now we have Gavin Newsom right here.

00:05:17.000 And we'll talk about him later.

00:05:18.000 This is the guy who was praising Donald Trump's handling of coronavirus until he went the other way because there was a convention coming up.

00:05:24.000 And this is a guy who obviously complained about violent protests back in 2016.

00:05:29.000 He was talking about the right-wingers.

00:05:33.000 We can bring that up.

00:05:34.000 He was talking about right-wing violence and how it's not funny and we can't spur it.

00:05:37.000 No condemnation of his entire city being torn apart.

00:05:41.000 Nope.

00:05:41.000 His constituents are leaving in droves.

00:05:44.000 They're all leaving.

00:05:45.000 Who would have thought that a sequel with Kurt Russell would be like looking into a crystal ball?

00:05:53.000 What do you guys expect for tonight?

00:05:55.000 Conservative Twins, by the way, is who they are. 1.00

00:05:57.000 Yeah, a bunch of liars, lying. 1.00

00:05:59.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:06:00.000 Hypocrisy. 0.90

00:06:02.000 I mean, Jesus, what's next for these people? 0.86

00:06:04.000 I mean, anything they say, man, it doesn't surprise me.

00:06:06.000 All right, well, I'm going to go through a list and you tell me what you guys think.

00:06:09.000 And you folks can tell me what you think.

00:06:11.000 We have, by the way, Andrew Klavan on the show.

00:06:13.000 Oh, I forgot the drinking game rules.

00:06:14.000 The drinking game rules, that's really important.

00:06:16.000 Drinking game rules, anytime Biden stutters, you have to take a drink.

00:06:20.000 If you hear any reference to him, by the way, it's not an exact verbiage, Black Lives Matter, fascist, fascism, racist, ism, anything about the U.S.

00:06:28.000 Postal Service, really any failing non-business and coronavirus, COVID.

00:06:33.000 We're all dead here, so let's just... Wait, so are the rules that we drink every time he stutters on a single word?

00:06:38.000 Because I've seen him stutter like nine times.

00:06:40.000 A past participle out.

00:06:42.000 It doesn't count if he's stuttering over the same vomit choke.

00:06:46.000 If he's continually aspirating his own vomit, it counts as one stutter.

00:06:53.000 Don't invite a lawyer if you don't want to get the rules.

00:06:55.000 I appreciate the rules.

00:06:56.000 That's what happened to me when I heard about Cuties.

00:07:01.000 Cuties is a show about, like, nine-year-olds twerking, and we're gonna get to the DNC here with our predictions.

00:07:07.000 Oh, wait, hold on.

00:07:08.000 So let's go to CNN really quickly, because they're saying that this is coming up.

00:07:11.000 I shouldn't be talking about cuties here.

00:07:13.000 I hope the virus is in check and the American spirit is unleashed and that we're not caring but hoping for the best.

00:07:20.000 I hope the virus is in check.

00:07:22.000 Is this a time capsule?

00:07:23.000 His senior year?

00:07:25.000 Hello, Mr. Beecham.

00:07:27.000 I hope the virus no longer exists.

00:07:29.000 Three months from now.

00:07:30.000 Hope you never change.

00:07:31.000 Did he not take this today?

00:07:32.000 I believe that America will have faced its darkest moment I hope not.

00:07:42.000 Is she talking about slavery?

00:07:44.000 She said the darkest moment.

00:07:45.000 The darkest moment.

00:07:47.000 She wants something bad to happen.

00:07:50.000 Look at this hotel room I'm in.

00:07:52.000 Oh, come on. 0.87

00:07:54.000 Laying it on thick right away.

00:07:56.000 A healthcare activist.

00:07:57.000 I can't even say anything.

00:07:58.000 It's gorgeous.

00:07:58.000 of America will be restored for all our communities.

00:08:01.000 All our families.

00:08:02.000 All of us.

00:08:03.000 And when I say all of us, it's a group.

00:08:07.000 They just brought him on because they were hoping it would trick people into thinking he was in the Roosevelt bloodline.

00:08:12.000 We will have a president who provides this country with real leadership.

00:08:16.000 They just brought him on because they were hoping it would trick people into thinking

00:08:18.000 he was in the Roosevelt bloodline.

00:08:19.000 Teddy or...

00:08:20.000 You know one of them.

00:08:21.000 You know the thing.

00:08:22.000 I hope we all get back to work.

00:08:25.000 Who's that?

00:08:27.000 That was my Korean cousin.

00:08:31.000 Hey, that's where the white women are wishing they were a B.B. 1.00

00:08:36.000 candidate. 0.86

00:08:36.000 Yeah, that's where the white women are at the Mushroom Cuts Are Us. 0.86

00:08:42.000 Do you think she went in and said, like, hey, could you make it look like I have half a beanbag on my chest?

00:08:47.000 Where's his neck at?

00:08:48.000 Andrew Yang, founder of Humanity Forward, they don't say former presidential candidate.

00:08:53.000 No, no, no. 0.80

00:08:53.000 Fails to this demented old circus monkey you will be watching tonight. 0.80

00:08:57.000 Failed. 0.97

00:08:57.000 Like, former, former senator. 0.97

00:09:00.000 Tattoo artist!

00:09:02.000 She's hot for a man. 1.00

00:09:03.000 She met Dina Von Teese once. 0.93

00:09:05.000 Well, that's what I'm talking about right here.

00:09:09.000 This time next year, I want a president who understands what military families need.

00:09:13.000 Crazy tale.

00:09:14.000 Oh, come on. 0.87

00:09:14.000 Who is she referring to? 0.87

00:09:15.000 Let's be careful.

00:09:16.000 What nationality is he?

00:09:17.000 Who is she? 0.99

00:09:18.000 Let's be careful.

00:09:19.000 What nationality is he?

00:09:20.000 I think I saw him on Deep Space Nine.

00:09:26.000 Did she just come from the beach?

00:09:31.000 Get a comb!

00:09:31.000 Neck action.

00:09:33.000 and our customers.

00:09:34.000 Neck action.

00:09:35.000 But next year, I want you to wear a mask or gloves.

00:09:39.000 Jowl action.

00:09:40.000 Oh, by the way, how's coronavirus doing?

00:09:41.000 Oh, look at the danger zone.

00:09:42.000 Oh, yeah.

00:09:43.000 Fido.

00:09:44.000 Look at that baseball in his neck.

00:09:46.000 Where he been, man?

00:09:49.000 He's been sneaking into people's houses, stealing guns and leaving crumbs that are much too small for the houses' mouses.

00:09:58.000 Do we have the ding for the drinking game?

00:10:01.000 We'll get it pulled up.

00:10:02.000 They said coronavirus.

00:10:03.000 Drink!

00:10:05.000 Are you going to be doing the ding all night?

00:10:07.000 I don't have the ding.

00:10:08.000 Oh, I thought you said you didn't have the ding.

00:10:11.000 What?

00:10:11.000 Oh no, Colin Powell!

00:10:15.000 You guys are new to this.

00:10:15.000 Oh no, Jamie Harrison.

00:10:17.000 You guys are new to the Republican thing. 1.00

00:10:20.000 Actually, Condoleezza Rice kind of came out and said, like, you guys are just a bunch of assholes. 1.00

00:10:24.000 You guys just suck. 1.00

00:10:25.000 Hey look, it's her! 1.00

00:10:26.000 It's Medusa.

00:10:30.000 I'm African-American.

00:10:32.000 All right, quick predictions.

00:10:33.000 What do you guys expect for tonight?

00:10:34.000 I think we're just going to see a lot of... not very many clear policy answers.

00:10:38.000 I think we can expect to... Oh my God, they're opening with Yang?

00:10:41.000 Right away?

00:10:42.000 What's he saying?

00:10:42.000 Is he opening in prayer?

00:10:44.000 No.

00:10:45.000 National Anthem?

00:10:46.000 No.

00:10:46.000 Pledge of Allegiance?

00:10:47.000 No.

00:10:48.000 American flag pin?

00:10:49.000 No.

00:10:49.000 It says map.

00:10:50.000 It's like, hmm... I don't want to be a... It seems like it's a little cliche to have, you know, running for national office representing your country flag pin.

00:10:59.000 Can I go with math?

00:11:00.000 What's the last name, Yang?

00:11:02.000 Can I do that?

00:11:02.000 Is that safe?

00:11:05.000 Also, maybe the other lapel could be an image of my tiger mom beating me.

00:11:09.000 I think that this would be palatable to middle America.

00:11:12.000 I think this is going to go over well, because the flag pins are passe.

00:11:14.000 If you voted for Trump or didn't vote at all back in 2016, I get it.

00:11:19.000 Many of us have gotten tired of our leaders seeming far removed from our everyday lives.

00:11:24.000 And we despair that our government will ever rise to the challenges of our time.

00:11:28.000 Oh, the challenges of our time before the COVID, like record low unemployment, like record low black unemployment, like record high labor force participation, GDP growth, all-time stock market highs, like actual wage growth for middle-class Americans.

00:11:43.000 I think it was about $5,000 a year.

00:11:44.000 More Americans who are paying less in taxes and more satisfied with their economic outlook than ever.

00:11:49.000 Please, Lord Jesus, save us from this.

00:11:51.000 Bring us your profit.

00:11:52.000 Wang.

00:11:54.000 Yang.

00:11:54.000 Wow.

00:11:55.000 It would have been great, too, if I didn't get his name wrong, but it's almost better.

00:11:58.000 Look who's coming up.

00:12:00.000 Why do you got Steph Curry coming up?

00:12:01.000 Steph Curry?

00:12:02.000 That's not on this lineup.

00:12:04.000 Looks like, you know what?

00:12:05.000 It looks like they bumped Pete Butt Gig for Steph Curry.

00:12:08.000 Butt Gig? 0.98

00:12:10.000 So I don't think we're going to see any clear policy answers tonight.

00:12:13.000 I think we're just going to hear a lot of platitudes.

00:12:14.000 We're going to hear about how bad Donald Trump is.

00:12:16.000 Please save us from our darkest hour.

00:12:18.000 We're going to trot out the celebrities.

00:12:20.000 Yeah.

00:12:20.000 We have John Legend, noted eugenicist John Legend.

00:12:25.000 He'll be on the show.

00:12:26.000 All right.

00:12:26.000 Let me see.

00:12:27.000 Let's see.

00:12:27.000 You guys know Pete Buttigieg.

00:12:28.000 You guys know him.

00:12:29.000 I love Pete.

00:12:30.000 Who got?

00:12:31.000 What do you predict for Pete Buttigieg?

00:12:32.000 Anything?

00:12:34.000 All right, let me move on.

00:12:35.000 What about Gavin Newsom?

00:12:37.000 Hey, Keisha Lance Bottoms, that's in your wheelhouse. 1.00

00:12:40.000 Yeah, Bottoms. 1.00

00:12:44.000 Tammy Baldwin, Duxworth, anyone have strong opinions?

00:12:47.000 Duxworth?

00:12:48.000 Who the hell is Tammy Duxworth? 1.00

00:12:49.000 That's what I thought. 0.98

00:12:50.000 She's the Asian. 1.00

00:12:51.000 I don't know, I thought maybe you guys could... Senator Chris Coons.

00:12:56.000 I like Coons. 1.00

00:12:59.000 I see where this is going.

00:13:00.000 You know you're gonna get that one.

00:13:00.000 Performance by John Legend and Common.

00:13:03.000 Oh no, performance?

00:13:05.000 Who's almost worse?

00:13:06.000 Is Common the guy who looks like Tyra Banks' brother but isn't Tyra Banks' brother, that guy?

00:13:09.000 I think you're correct.

00:13:11.000 He's bald.

00:13:12.000 Yeah, he's bald, right?

00:13:13.000 He's got like light eyes.

00:13:14.000 He's got dark eyes.

00:13:15.000 He's got dark eyes?

00:13:16.000 I'm thinking of Tyra Banks' brother, the guy who was in Dodgeball.

00:13:19.000 Which, I know, listen, I know this sounds tone deaf.

00:13:21.000 In large part because it is.

00:13:22.000 It's not the same guy.

00:13:23.000 I've always said this, like, you guys have lighter eyes, but when I see, when I meet really, like, darker black guys, you know, with light eyes, um, it scares me. 0.99

00:13:31.000 You're racist. 0.64

00:13:32.000 It just goes like, the only time I've ever seen it is that in, you know, the Queen of the Damned film, you know, where it's like they're vampires for Blade, which, you know, and then of course, what was that, Aaliyah? 0.96

00:13:39.000 Aaliyah. 0.99

00:13:40.000 When she died, we all had to act like, oh, we lost a marvelous talent, like we'll have to do with Cardi B and just, just wading our way through her talking about her wet vagina and cutting her asshole with her Freddy Krueger nails and be like, I can't believe we lost Cardi B to diabetes of all things! 0.99

00:13:55.000 Who knew? 0.99

00:13:56.000 To anal fissures! 0.99

00:13:57.000 I probably think AIDS. 0.98

00:13:58.000 It was an infection.

00:13:59.000 You started talking about that.

00:14:01.000 Cardi B interviewed our President of the United States.

00:14:03.000 Remember when we thought it was below the presidency? 0.98

00:14:05.000 What was the name of that fat black broad who was in the tub with the Froot Loops? 1.00

00:14:17.000 She does reaction videos on YouTube. 0.93

00:14:18.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:14:19.000 Well, she did.

00:14:19.000 And then the novelty wore off.

00:14:21.000 Barack Obama did an interview with her.

00:14:23.000 People thought it was below the presidency. 1.00

00:14:25.000 Now we have the potential president talking with a lady who's, forgive me, forgive my language, this is PG, we have to talk about who's like, yo, yo, my pussy can't breathe in these jeans! 1.00

00:14:34.000 You want me to get a yeast infection? 1.00

00:14:36.000 I gotta go interview the vice president!

00:14:38.000 The same woman who said she bragged about drugging and robbing men? 0.98

00:14:43.000 I drugged men and robbed them!

00:14:45.000 Now I'm gonna go interview the president?

00:14:46.000 What about healthcare though?

00:14:52.000 I don't know what the hell she does. 1.00

00:14:53.000 When she does that, I don't know what the hell that is. 0.99

00:14:55.000 get triggered just have someone go burp. Wait is that like a bird in an oil spill?

00:14:59.000 Yeah what does that represent? I don't know what the hell she does. When she does that I don't know what the hell 1.00

00:15:04.000 that is.

00:15:04.000 That sounds like those like when the pigeons were in the BP like BAAAAAAA.

00:15:09.000 You know when they're walking down with Dawn and we're supposed to care. I think it's like a tick.

00:15:14.000 I think so.

00:15:14.000 Is that what's happening?

00:15:15.000 It's like if you've got Tourette's, right, and you just can't control it.

00:15:18.000 Alright, let's go to Julia Louis-Dreyfus.

00:15:21.000 You guys familiar with Seinfeld?

00:15:22.000 I don't know if there's... Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:15:23.000 Okay, good.

00:15:23.000 I didn't know there was a cultural divide, like, for more, like, Fresh Prince fans.

00:15:26.000 She's the convention moderator. 0.67

00:15:31.000 ...is that's the year Donald Trump will finally release his tax returns. 0.99

00:15:35.000 Who gives a shit about tax returns? 0.99

00:15:39.000 Looks like the lady performer hired a lady writer. 1.00

00:15:41.000 Don't let him near a comedy pen!

00:15:43.000 First, let's reaffirm the all-American values that our party and Joe Biden stand for.

00:15:49.000 Like abortions. 1.00

00:15:50.000 Into nine months.

00:15:51.000 Jim Crow.

00:15:52.000 The KKK.

00:15:54.000 List is over. 1.00

00:15:56.000 Wow, using a white rag on a black child. 0.99

00:16:00.000 He's a cute kid. 0.99

00:16:01.000 Hey, it's my cousin.

00:16:02.000 I'm glad they're doing this.

00:16:04.000 He's so cute.

00:16:05.000 I hope you remember it.

00:16:06.000 and to the public for which it stands, one nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty

00:16:13.000 and justice for all.

00:16:16.000 Thank you.

00:16:27.000 Hey look, it's the chicks! 1.00

00:16:29.000 Soon to be the Zs! 1.00

00:16:30.000 Yeah, I'm not convinced.

00:16:32.000 They dropped Dixie Chicks because they thought that was racially insensitive, so they became the chicks, and of course they're going to change it to the Zs. 0.95

00:16:40.000 It's like when Lady Antebellum dropped it to Lady A, and then this black chick was like, THAT'S MY NAME THOUGH! 1.00

00:16:44.000 And they were like, we didn't know! 0.97

00:16:46.000 Also, I'm going to sue you!

00:16:48.000 Alright, hold on a second.

00:16:51.000 Let's listen to... I always feel bad because the one with the lesbian cut is the most talented, but you know everyone 1.00

00:16:56.000 looks at the the sisters We're so gallantly streaming

00:17:02.000 Ooh, nice strong change Pfft

00:17:05.000 I thought they could sing a lot better than this.

00:17:07.000 I think they're pretty good.

00:17:09.000 That is nice.

00:17:11.000 I think they're talented, they just hate their country.

00:17:13.000 What does Nick Cannon have to say now?

00:17:26.000 Very little melanin.

00:17:27.000 They got soul.

00:17:29.000 Unfortunately, you know, I mean, it's acrid.

00:17:32.000 But they have soul.

00:17:33.000 It's dark.

00:17:38.000 There's some soul in that.

00:17:42.000 Was that us or CNN?

00:17:44.000 Probably CNN.

00:17:46.000 That was us.

00:17:48.000 Oh, the brave.

00:17:50.000 Okay, that's...

00:17:52.000 They're good.

00:17:54.000 They can sing really well.

00:17:55.000 Oh my god, poor Wolf Blitzer.

00:17:58.000 They go from the Dixie Chicks, lovely looking ladies, to the guy who looks like Beans from Even Steven. 0.96

00:18:03.000 Hey, actually, Reg does have an answer to what skrrrt means, if you want to go into it.

00:18:07.000 Oh yeah, let's go to Reg the Bandit, our brilliant researcher-in-chief.

00:18:11.000 Reg, what does skrrrt mean?

00:18:14.000 Do we have him?

00:18:15.000 Okay, so, to the best of my understanding, skrrrt is an onomatopoeia used in the African American community, and it signifies moving away from someone quickly, or distancing yourself, And it's like the skidding of tires in a car.

00:18:32.000 Oh, OK.

00:18:33.000 So it's tied to felonies.

00:18:35.000 OK.

00:18:37.000 Is there anything?

00:18:38.000 Is there anything?

00:18:39.000 This is one thing that really does... OK, let's go through predictions here. 1.00

00:18:42.000 Andrew Yang, Michael Bloomberg, Jay Z, suck, suck, suck, suck. 1.00

00:18:45.000 No one cares. 1.00

00:18:46.000 It's CrowderDNC stream for $20 off and hashtag CrowderDNC stream for the hashtag.

00:18:51.000 Are we going to be able to see Reg there?

00:18:52.000 Reg the Bandit?

00:18:53.000 Yeah, pretty soon.

00:18:55.000 We were talking about this earlier today, right?

00:18:57.000 You have Cardi B, who just interviewed the Vice President.

00:19:00.000 I do feel bad for young black women because, like, that is a big part of their role models right now, is Nicki Minaj and Cardi B. And that wasn't always the case.

00:19:08.000 When people say, like, oh, this is black culture, well, what about Diana Ross?

00:19:11.000 You go back to The Supremes.

00:19:12.000 You go back to Aretha Franklin.

00:19:14.000 You go back to The Cosby Show.

00:19:16.000 You go back to Family Matters, Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, The Cosby Show.

00:19:21.000 These were by and large watched by white people.

00:19:23.000 It wasn't segmented away in its own network that Tyler Perry bought and sold to Oprah.

00:19:27.000 Yeah, that's why those shows were so important.

00:19:28.000 The Cosby Show was good for black people to see other successful black people. 0.99

00:19:31.000 You got Cardi B. I mean, it's better they didn't see The Green Room. 0.97

00:19:36.000 Too bad Bill Cosby was a creep.

00:19:37.000 Yeah, that's really unfortunate.

00:19:40.000 You know, we talked about this before.

00:19:41.000 We were talking about the Hidden Figures movie, right?

00:19:42.000 I mean, you got... What movie?

00:19:44.000 The Hidden Figures movie with the mathematicians, the black women who were helping NASA.

00:19:48.000 Oh, Hidden Figures!

00:19:49.000 I thought you said Invigors.

00:19:50.000 No, no, Hidden Figures.

00:19:51.000 And so think about it.

00:19:52.000 You had all of these women who were in that vein or who were actually in that and lived it, and you could have had them interviewing, but instead, Cardi B.

00:19:59.000 Well you know what's funny is like I bet you in a future like those because those ladies were all very nice in that film but they'll be like why is there no Awkwafina and Carly B?

00:20:08.000 Cardi B. Did I say Carly B?

00:20:09.000 Yeah, Carly. 0.92

00:20:10.000 I thought it was a white girl name.

00:20:12.000 I knew a girl named Carly.

00:20:13.000 She turned me down.

00:20:14.000 All right, let's go to David Kochner's latest character.

00:20:16.000 Oh boy, there's the name. 1.00

00:20:19.000 Shut up, you coon! 1.00

00:20:24.000 ...dignity of all people. 1.00

00:20:26.000 People Joe believes were made in the image of God.

00:20:29.000 Joe learned that from his parents, the nuns and priests right here in Delaware who taught him.

00:20:33.000 Who revoked his communion privileges.

00:20:35.000 Wait, were they the ones who taught him to love segregation?

00:20:38.000 Yeah, they're the ones who taught him to love segregation, oppose busing, and support abortion up to after birth.

00:20:43.000 I'm pretty sure that came straight down from the cardinals.

00:20:46.000 ...political tool.

00:20:47.000 I've known Joe about 30 years and I've seen his faith in action.

00:20:52.000 Everyone in D.C.

00:20:53.000 has known him 30 years.

00:20:54.000 That's the problem. 0.76

00:20:56.000 He's been suckling at the taxpayer's teat his entire life. 0.99

00:21:00.000 He has not been employed by the private sector since he was old enough to have a boner. 0.99

00:21:04.000 Sorry, a guinea.

00:21:06.000 I don't want that. I don't want that. Sorry, a guinea. Time and again I've seen him stop everything and listen, really 1.00

00:21:13.000 listen to someone who needs a shot. That's because he can't hear them. Hold on, speak up. Time and again I've seen him

00:21:21.000 change his phones for those with the larger keypad because he cares.

00:21:25.000 Really leans in when I start talking.

00:21:27.000 Time and time again I've seen him go to Iowa State Fairs and travel to caucuses across this land with his life alert bracelet just to show how much he cares.

00:21:40.000 I'm over it!

00:21:40.000 Let it go!

00:21:42.000 Why don't you guys over here?

00:21:44.000 How are they going to make slavery right?

00:21:46.000 and they've been called out.

00:21:48.000 Ding, ding, ding, ding.

00:21:50.000 Let it go, I'm over it.

00:21:52.000 Why don't you guys over here.

00:21:54.000 As punishment, since you didn't import the ding there, uh, uh, MJ, there you go.

00:21:58.000 How are they gonna make slavery right?

00:22:00.000 How are they gonna go back to danger?

00:22:02.000 Well, you see how they're gonna change it, is uh, is uh, by electing the

00:22:06.000 oldest white guy who supported segregation and said, they're gonna put y'all back in shape.

00:22:10.000 Laughter I do appreciate that another succeeding old white guy, this one doesn't even have hair, is the one who's telling us about how he's the one. 0.66

00:22:25.000 Guys, don't worry, we're going to fix this right after I finish my ninth Senate campaign, and I'm done with this, and I don't give it to my son, it'll be fine.

00:22:34.000 It'll be totally fine.

00:22:35.000 Yeah, and the poor guy does have hair. 0.99

00:22:37.000 I mean, his thing looks like it's made of damn pipe cleaners. 0.98

00:22:40.000 But, you know, he's got the hair plugs going on. 0.99

00:22:42.000 He did a shitty job, but the point is, like, you know, he's trying.

00:22:47.000 What is your faith? 0.87

00:22:48.000 So how would you use your faith and make a decisions foundation?

00:22:56.000 Oh, he steps out from the podium so he knows he's serious now.

00:22:57.000 Yeah, he's getting serious.

00:22:59.000 Most people aren't. 0.98

00:23:00.000 I'm willing to get down with you blacks! 1.00

00:23:03.000 This is propaganda. 0.99

00:23:04.000 Yeah, it is.

00:23:05.000 Love the music, though.

00:23:05.000 Love the music though.

00:23:07.000 Gonna drop a tear?

00:23:11.000 And obviously that's sad, that's very tragic, but that is what he uses right now rather than discussing the policies.

00:23:21.000 Does anyone know his coronavirus plan?

00:23:23.000 By the way, can Reg maybe bring that up?

00:23:25.000 I know he said he would double testing.

00:23:27.000 We have more testing than any country right now in the world, right?

00:23:30.000 We have more testing and Donald Trump mobilized the private sector, like him or hate him, to get more testing.

00:23:37.000 Right now you can go to CVS, Walgreens, Rite Aid, Duane Reade if you still live in the cesspool of filth and sadness and broken dreams and hypodermic needles that is New York City.

00:23:47.000 I highly recommend you leave 14,000 empty apartments.

00:23:51.000 Escape from LA, escape from New York.

00:23:55.000 Yeah, I was just going to say that you know how much it takes to actually say we're going to double it?

00:24:01.000 It takes absolutely no commitment.

00:24:01.000 Nothing.

00:24:03.000 He's a leader.

00:24:03.000 Yeah, but I'll double it.

00:24:05.000 Okay, nice.

00:24:05.000 I want you to take your asking price and double it.

00:24:08.000 Yes, yes.

00:24:09.000 Wow, that sounds really good.

00:24:11.000 He's going to double testing.

00:24:13.000 That's two times more than now.

00:24:16.000 That's two times as many.

00:24:18.000 And I know because I saw Andrew Yang's pin.

00:24:22.000 I think if he becomes president, they would actually suppress the numbers.

00:24:25.000 Yeah, of course!

00:24:28.000 Does anyone know any of his policies other than he really likes abortion and hates Donald Trump and he can't count to 10 if he's wearing mittens?

00:24:36.000 He's a natural born leader who's followed in the Senate his entire career.

00:24:39.000 He's a natural born leader who's followed in the Senate his entire career.

00:24:51.000 That's why I thought, you know, maybe she'd be your jam. 0.99

00:24:53.000 How are you feeling?

00:24:54.000 This is Mary Bottoms.

00:24:56.000 Yeah.

00:24:57.000 Cheekbone action.

00:24:58.000 Well, good evening.

00:24:59.000 I feel really good.

00:25:01.000 Thank you for asking.

00:25:02.000 My husband, on the other hand, is still having many of the lingering side effects that people talk about, but all in all, our family's doing great.

00:25:09.000 You can't breathe.

00:25:10.000 Being married to you?

00:25:10.000 He's got COVID.

00:25:11.000 Boy, I think a lot of Americans are Going to be dealing with that for a long time.

00:25:17.000 Hey Mera, I wanted to ask you something.

00:25:19.000 Yes, many of us will have a cough.

00:25:20.000 Is Atlanta ready for election day?

00:25:22.000 Sometime meaning a week.

00:25:23.000 A little bit of the sniffles.

00:25:26.000 We will be ready.

00:25:28.000 Do they also not remember that they are the network where Chris Cuomo was like quarantined for three days and came out. 0.96

00:25:34.000 Butt naked. 0.91

00:25:35.000 Appearing nude, yeah, in his wife's yoga video. 0.86

00:25:37.000 He was like, I'm totally fine now.

00:25:38.000 My teeth were chattering.

00:25:39.000 I had a fever of 106.

00:25:43.000 Oh hey Joe Louis.

00:25:44.000 We got weekend at Bernie's Joe Louis.

00:25:48.000 Hello Joe Louis.

00:25:49.000 Hello Joe Louis.

00:25:51.000 Look at this guy.

00:25:52.000 Look at this handsome boy.

00:25:53.000 Weekend at Joe Louis's.

00:25:56.000 The Hawaiian shirt.

00:25:57.000 Go say hi to the guys who used to be afraid of you.

00:26:01.000 Come on, go say hi! 0.97

00:26:06.000 Hey guys, you see the difference?

00:26:07.000 This is what I was saying.

00:26:08.000 When you have behaved dogs, they can be therapy dogs.

00:26:10.000 These guys were terrified of them mostly because they were chasing them when they were delivering.

00:26:13.000 He's leaning all over me.

00:26:14.000 I know, yeah, he loves you guys.

00:26:15.000 He's a leaner.

00:26:18.000 Oh, man, this thing's hard!

00:26:20.000 I know.

00:26:21.000 He narded one of you guys right in the... with his tail. 0.95

00:26:22.000 Yeah, he smacked me in the face with that tail. 0.98

00:26:23.000 Yeah, he's got that giant tail that just hits you right in the tip.

00:26:27.000 Bye, Joe Louis!

00:26:28.000 Okay, let's go back to Mayor Keisha Bottoms and her husband with the COVID.

00:26:33.000 He walked gently amongst us, not as a distant icon, but as a God-fearing man who did what he could to fulfill the as-yet unfulfilled promise of America.

00:26:48.000 What?

00:26:49.000 People often think that they... He what?

00:26:52.000 I'm sorry, speak into my good ear! 1.00

00:26:55.000 I don't speak, crazy bitch! 1.00

00:26:57.000 What, an unfulfilled dream of the United States of America? 1.00

00:27:01.000 She's mayor! 0.70

00:27:03.000 And she's speaking to endorse the old white guy who played second fiddle to the black guy with no resume, who became President of the United States. 0.99

00:27:10.000 She's a black... She's black, too. 0.93

00:27:12.000 Only in the United States could a man with zero qualifications, the public having zero access to his college records, and a man who did crack with a convicted domestic terrorist in Bill Ayers be elected President of the United States. 0.97

00:27:25.000 But still, the deck is stacked against us. 1.00

00:27:27.000 Cardi B writes songs about cutting her asshole with Freddy Krueger hands. 1.00

00:27:32.000 It's the American dream. 1.00

00:27:34.000 And she's today's Earth, Wind & Fire! 1.00

00:27:37.000 She's your hauling oaks for crying out loud! 1.00

00:27:39.000 No, hell no, she ain't hauling oaks! 1.00

00:27:41.000 Don't touch my hauling oaks! 0.94

00:27:44.000 You set him off.

00:27:45.000 Get me going. 1.00

00:27:46.000 Don't dump my stuff on my damn hauling oaks! 0.99

00:27:50.000 Alright, let's hear what she has to say. 0.99

00:27:51.000 You are disgracefully using this pandemic to spread misinformation and interfere with voting, forcing many 2020 to still risk their lives wait because

00:28:06.000 forcing tons of people to become more dependent on the Walk around with man. Yeah, you know what can we actually

00:28:14.000 do we have that let me see we have a the clip of Because they just said they just opened with you know Julia

00:28:19.000 Louis-Dreyfus Elaine saying we need to trust the experts Let's go to clip C, because she talked about Dr. Fauci, and now they're saying, we don't want to send people out into harm's way, like it's D-Day, and like, they're acting like you're gonna go to your local precinct in frickin' Denton County, and they're gonna open the doors and... Like, it's just, there's nothing, you just, just...

00:28:40.000 You know what?

00:28:41.000 You don't even need to wear a mask.

00:28:42.000 I do do it because you have to.

00:28:44.000 It's the law.

00:28:44.000 But the fact is you are not, this is not comparable to fighting Nazis.

00:28:50.000 Not even close.

00:28:51.000 It's not even close.

00:28:52.000 Let's go to the Clip Clip C of Dr. Fauci saying, hey can we go and vote in person?

00:28:57.000 Can people safely go out and vote in person given that this year there is so much concern around the vote?

00:29:05.000 I think if carefully done according to the guidelines, there's no reason that I can see why that not be the case.

00:29:13.000 All right, that's enough. That's it. That's it. That's it.

00:29:15.000 And he's got two strings to hold him down. He's got nothing on me.

00:29:20.000 I want to be a real boy.

00:29:23.000 For crying out loud.

00:29:24.000 His voice is that way because he's on the news a lot. 1.00

00:29:26.000 When you leave your house, you can get hit by a damn ice cream cone. 1.00

00:29:29.000 Get the flu! 1.00

00:29:30.000 Look at all the people going out now, shopping and going to the gas station, going to Bristol, going to work, they're wearing masks, but you can't show up at a damn voting to vote with a mask. 0.99

00:29:40.000 Imagine leaving your house looking like Dr. Fauci. 1.00

00:29:42.000 Do you have any idea how many people want to kick his ass just seeing him? 0.99

00:29:45.000 No, they can't see him, it's too short. 0.99

00:29:46.000 Why do they keep showing these old-ass videos from the 60s?

00:29:48.000 Let it go, it's over!

00:29:50.000 Oh, hold on a second, they're gonna bring out the German Shepherds. 0.99

00:29:52.000 Oh, wait, who was that one?

00:29:54.000 He was sister.

00:29:56.000 Life was extremely dangerous.

00:30:02.000 It was, that's right, it was.

00:30:04.000 I appreciate that they're reminding us about what Joe Biden furthered.

00:30:08.000 Did you see that guy Stan from The Office?

00:30:10.000 He said it's worse now and has kick-started trying to start a spin-off show.

00:30:14.000 He's like, racism is worse now than ever.

00:30:16.000 Really?

00:30:16.000 You've been fire hosed outside a pie shop recently, Stanley!

00:30:20.000 Have you been able to find another battle?

00:30:23.000 John was focused on ending voter suppression.

00:30:27.000 Are they really trying to show this in like, equate it to now?

00:30:30.000 Well, they're trying to honor John Lewis, and they'll avoid, like, the plague that John Lewis claimed when he was walking through the, uh, the, uh, I believe it was, was it the, walking to the house?

00:30:38.000 I don't know if he was walking down the Capitol steps.

00:30:40.000 Him and Clyburn, if I'm not mistaken, said that people spat on them, tea partiers, you know, those protesters, spat on them and called them the N-word.

00:30:47.000 Andrew Breitbart offered $100,000 to the United Negro College Fund, I can say it because that's still the name of the fund, and There was no footage.

00:30:55.000 And here's what matters!

00:30:56.000 There was footage of John Lewis, of Clyburn, walking up those steps.

00:31:00.000 There were gigabytes and gigabytes, and this was before 4K, there were gigabytes and gigabytes of crappy, grainy 720p footage, where you could hear everything and see everything, every single angle, like we were promised with original DVDs, remember they said you could watch things in 360, that never really came to fruition?

00:31:17.000 Not once did anyone say the N-word.

00:31:20.000 And the media said, well, just like me with Nashville, they said, well, why does he need to prove it?

00:31:23.000 Because someone called him the n-word.

00:31:25.000 Uh, because he said it?

00:31:26.000 Because he made a claim?

00:31:27.000 How about that?

00:31:28.000 If you make a claim of a hate crime, have some evidence of the hate crime.

00:31:34.000 Listen, obviously it's sad when someone dies, but let's not lie about John Lewis.

00:31:38.000 The guy was a race baiter professionally for the rest of his life.

00:31:45.000 I can't stand Maxine Waters, man. 0.98

00:31:48.000 Oh yeah, Maxine Waters.

00:31:52.000 Sometimes she kind of looks like a photo-negative Nancy Pelosi.

00:31:55.000 The black version. 0.95

00:31:57.000 She's definitely the black version of Nancy Pelosi. 0.88

00:32:01.000 Like if I were in a darkroom developing photos, I might get it wrong.

00:32:05.000 I'd label it Pelosi.

00:32:06.000 It's like Spy vs. Spy.

00:32:11.000 Today we are considering a fair housing measure which not only protects our nation's minorities, but it protects the needs of those with disabilities and families with children.

00:32:32.000 How long do we have to wait before we decide to ban assault weapons By the way, oh, did you see that, by the way?

00:32:38.000 It said, ban assault weapons, but it was a handgun registration, was it a handgun registration act?

00:32:42.000 Something handgun act.

00:32:44.000 So keep in mind that back then, they weren't even trying to hide it, like, assault weapons was a handgun.

00:32:47.000 If you were to tell people now, well, an assault weapon would be most of your handguns.

00:32:50.000 For example, any of the handguns that people are carrying in here, Americans would go, well, no, no, no, I thought you meant, like, you know, the AK-47 that that guy in Austin got killed for pointing at a car point-blank range.

00:32:59.000 No, back then, it was, they would say assault weapons and handguns interchangeably.

00:33:03.000 Then they realized they had to get away from it.

00:33:05.000 Yeah.

00:33:06.000 weapons that hurt.

00:33:13.000 Alright, here, let me go through the mail thing really quickly, because they were just talking about that.

00:33:17.000 Okay, so let's talk about the mail.

00:33:19.000 When people are saying, keep in mind, right off the bat, most of the pictures out there are hoaxes.

00:33:24.000 They're like, look, they're destroying mailboxes.

00:33:26.000 No, they're actually trying to replace mailboxes, and there were changes coming down the pike for USPS for a very long time.

00:33:31.000 You know why?

00:33:32.000 For 13 years in a row, they've lost money.

00:33:37.000 13 years in a row, they've lost money.

00:33:39.000 Imagine pitching that on Shark Tank.

00:33:42.000 Incredibly consistent.

00:33:42.000 What are your numbers?

00:33:43.000 Uh, well, we lost... 18 trillion?

00:33:48.000 But this is like the first, yeah, this is the first 13 years of the company, right?

00:33:51.000 Yeah, it's the first, right, yeah.

00:33:53.000 You've been reinvesting in inventory.

00:33:54.000 No, well, I mean, Amazon did.

00:33:56.000 Have you seen their new Amazon vans? 0.99

00:33:58.000 They really got their shit together. 0.98

00:33:59.000 Ooh, and FedEx has next day shipping. 0.98

00:34:03.000 That's fun.

00:34:04.000 But we really could use some money.

00:34:06.000 What kind of money do you have?

00:34:07.000 Well, I guess in a matter of speaking, it's really infinite, really, because we can just take it from taxpayers.

00:34:14.000 How we've lost all of it and haven't managed to turn a profit is, you know, your guess is as good as mine, but we could always use more.

00:34:21.000 So, Mr. O'Leary, more money, please.

00:34:23.000 More money, please.

00:34:26.000 So, alright, let me make sure I have this right.

00:34:27.000 So, when people say there hasn't been voter fraud, too, we talk about mail.

00:34:31.000 And I say this as someone who has had to mail in-vote, because I've been traveling, doing comedy shows.

00:34:35.000 I think one time I might have even been in Canada doing a stand-up show.

00:34:38.000 Canada?

00:34:39.000 Let's go through a couple of examples.

00:34:41.000 New Jersey.

00:34:41.000 They tried it in the primaries.

00:34:42.000 1.4-something million voters, between 1.4 and 1.5.

00:34:46.000 87% of them voted through mail.

00:34:48.000 It took counties more than six months to certify the election results.

00:34:53.000 65,000 ballots had to be thrown out completely for arriving late.

00:34:56.000 Those are just the ones that we know about.

00:34:58.000 That's called disenfranchised.

00:34:59.000 Michigan, 846 ballots just had to be thrown out because the voters were dead.

00:35:07.000 How the hell did they vote?

00:35:09.000 Exactly!

00:35:12.000 Great question.

00:35:14.000 Why do you ask that?

00:35:15.000 Andrew Yang is like, you do the math.

00:35:19.000 They're dead.

00:35:20.000 Oh wait, no, it's Common!

00:35:22.000 It's Common!

00:35:23.000 It is Common! 1.00

00:35:23.000 It's the guy with the... Oh, that damn hand action. 1.00

00:35:26.000 For people who don't know, the promo code is CrowderDNCStream for $20 off. 1.00

00:35:30.000 Oh, that damn hand action. 0.94

00:35:34.000 For people who don't know, the promo code is CrowderDNCStream for $20 off. 0.99

00:35:39.000 Still talking about Rosa Parks?

00:35:42.000 Doesn't seem like they're stuck in the past when nobody says anything.

00:35:47.000 Yeah.

00:35:48.000 Like, not only in the past, like, 40 years ago.

00:35:51.000 Well, they can't be stuck in the recent past, because that's Barack Obama.

00:35:54.000 Yeah.

00:35:56.000 Sure.

00:35:57.000 Look, it's the eugenist. 0.51

00:35:58.000 Yeah, exactly.

00:35:59.000 So this guy called, I believe if I'm not mistaken, he actually called Donald Trump, we have an overlay, I think, he called Donald Trump a eugenicist, and he's the guy who wanted to boycott states that put restrictions on abortions past the third trimester.

00:36:12.000 He's an actual, he supports actual eugenicism.

00:36:17.000 Yeah, Trump's the most pro-life president we ever had.

00:36:19.000 I know!

00:36:20.000 He called him a eugenicist and then he campaigned against, not only, I mean that's wrong on so many levels because of the idea of free enterprise, but because states wanted to put limitations on abortion, remember when it was Georgia, that was that whole thing?

00:36:30.000 He was leading the charge.

00:36:31.000 He's got, something else, by the way, when you see these commercials on CNN, can we bring up that image of the black guy who does a commercial for the testosterone? 0.60

00:36:38.000 Nugenics? 0.93

00:36:39.000 It's a black guy doing an ad.

00:36:42.000 For a supplement that's one letter off of eugenics.

00:36:45.000 He's like, eugenics work for me! 1.00

00:36:52.000 Before this, I was black as hell. 0.94

00:36:54.000 I've had some craze. 0.98

00:36:57.000 Is this it?

00:36:58.000 Yeah, this is it.

00:36:59.000 Oh, hold on, let me see.

00:37:00.000 Yeah, look, look.

00:37:01.000 Nugenix.

00:37:02.000 He's like a former football player, basketball player.

00:37:04.000 Yeah, baseball player.

00:37:04.000 Oh, look at that, Joe.

00:37:05.000 He actually works out in the gym I go to.

00:37:07.000 Really?

00:37:08.000 Yeah, I see him.

00:37:08.000 He actually seems like a nice guy.

00:37:10.000 He's a big dude, man. 1.00

00:37:11.000 He was sitting on a stationary bike, looked like a damn tricep. 1.00

00:37:15.000 Nugenix. 1.00

00:37:16.000 Nugenix.

00:37:17.000 Oh, that's horrible.

00:37:18.000 Speaking of which, you're the byproduct of eugenics there, Joe Louis. 0.98

00:37:22.000 They breed you for hunting boar.

00:37:24.000 I don't know why you're wearing a prison outfit, but go say hi.

00:37:27.000 Go say hi to Keith and Kevin.

00:37:28.000 Okay.

00:37:28.000 No, you want to say hi to me?

00:37:29.000 That's very nice of you.

00:37:30.000 I appreciate it.

00:37:31.000 He's a pretty sweet... Why does he have a shake?

00:37:35.000 My wife gave my dog a shiv.

00:37:37.000 I guess she's trying to go with the common theme.

00:37:39.000 All right, time for you.

00:37:40.000 Go say hi and then go get out, Joe Louis.

00:37:42.000 Joe Louis.

00:37:43.000 Come here, Joe Louis.

00:37:44.000 There you go.

00:37:45.000 I want to listen to common.

00:37:46.000 Hey, Joe Louis.

00:37:47.000 What are you doing down there, Jew? 1.00

00:37:49.000 What do you think they're doing?

00:37:56.000 Wait, is this a praise and worship song?

00:37:58.000 When the glory comes, it will be ours.

00:38:00.000 When the glory comes, it will be ours.

00:38:01.000 Black is King, did you hear that?

00:38:02.000 Go ahead, go.

00:38:03.000 Black is King.

00:38:03.000 Joe Louis, go.

00:38:04.000 Come on.

00:38:05.000 You gotta go to Mama.

00:38:05.000 I do have to ask a question because oftentimes you hear... Hold on a second, I can't get over.

00:38:10.000 When the glory comes, it will be ours.

00:38:12.000 They took the lyrics of praise and worship like, the glory will be yours, God.

00:38:16.000 It's like, whose glory?

00:38:18.000 Common's.

00:38:19.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:38:19.000 They got the whole choir.

00:38:20.000 The whole choir singing.

00:38:22.000 Whose glory?

00:38:24.000 John Legend.

00:38:25.000 Who's Lord?

00:38:26.000 Jesus.

00:38:27.000 It's Jesus.

00:38:28.000 Come in.

00:38:29.000 Unbelievable.

00:38:29.000 These people say they're so religious, but they're pro-choice.

00:38:32.000 Oh, they're wrong about everything.

00:38:34.000 And also, they believe that the quote, the verse is, give unto Caesar...

00:38:39.000 Give it all to Caesar!

00:38:40.000 Give it all to Caesar, provided, you know, that he increases the size of the DMV and makes sure you don't change mailboxes.

00:38:47.000 That's somewhere in Mark.

00:38:48.000 What were you about to say there, half-Asian?

00:38:50.000 I was going to say, the idea of if you were to have any time anyone who's a minority, particularly a black minority, decides to come out and do any kind of song or thing for Republicans or Trump, they're called being minstrels, right? 1.00

00:39:02.000 They're harkening back to the minstrel, right?

00:39:05.000 I wonder if we have any guests here who have ever been talked about like that.

00:39:08.000 And yet, here we have two gentlemen of color dancing for Joe Biden.

00:39:15.000 And yet no one is going, wait a minute, guys, wait a minute.

00:39:19.000 And yet, again, the irony. 0.80

00:39:20.000 Are we not seeing these gentlemen on national TV who are performing, who have made millions and millions and millions of dollars, able to do and spend those millions of dollars wherever they want, and yet they're here supporting a person whose vice president candidate called him a rapist.

00:39:36.000 Yeah, and not only that, but he doesn't even know that they're there.

00:39:41.000 Huh?

00:39:42.000 What?

00:39:43.000 Why couldn't we get Cardi B?

00:39:44.000 I loved her in Cuties. 0.95

00:39:46.000 Could you get me a Waterfella?

00:39:47.000 I'm Joe Biden's husband.

00:39:49.000 I'm common.

00:39:52.000 Yes, you are.

00:39:53.000 You are the common man.

00:39:54.000 The man I want to reach.

00:39:55.000 No, no.

00:39:55.000 I am.

00:39:56.000 I'm common.

00:39:57.000 Well, you're not.

00:39:57.000 We're all special, son.

00:40:00.000 I'm common.

00:40:01.000 No.

00:40:02.000 What?

00:40:03.000 What'd he say? 0.95

00:40:04.000 You're black? 0.97

00:40:05.000 You're gonna vote for me, right? 1.00

00:40:06.000 Y'all get back in chains!

00:40:07.000 What are you talking about? 0.99

00:40:09.000 You poor kids are just as smart as white kids. 1.00

00:40:12.000 I do appreciate that, you know, when they give the title for Julia Louis-Dreyfus, it says actress first.

00:40:18.000 Yes.

00:40:18.000 Because, you know, she's not actually living any of the things that she's talking about with regards to the policies or who she supports or any of that.

00:40:25.000 Right.

00:40:25.000 No, she's not even living up to the... How dare they show Dr. Martin Luther King, a Republican, Yeah, that's a good point.

00:40:31.000 I don't think they know.

00:40:32.000 A lot of people don't know.

00:40:33.000 I tell them at my comedy shows, it's like, WHAT?!

00:40:35.000 Mother of the K1 pumpkin!

00:40:38.000 Really? 0.90

00:40:38.000 White people get pissed when you tell them that, yeah. 0.90

00:40:40.000 I thought your show was mainly white people now.

00:40:41.000 It is, there was a few people that I told.

00:40:43.000 Especially like when we transitioned, they would come to our show and they'd be like, WHAT?!

00:40:48.000 They'd get pissed off if you tell them that.

00:40:50.000 Yeah, hey, well look, these people speak for you, haven't you heard? 0.98

00:40:56.000 That white broad with the jerry curls apparently speaks for the black community. 0.99

00:41:02.000 Our jobs are evaporating.

00:41:04.000 Our faith in the things...

00:41:08.000 I wonder why.

00:41:09.000 Our jobs are evaporating.

00:41:11.000 Mostly, I should note, almost entirely exclusively in blue states.

00:41:15.000 We are doing significantly worse just after the COVID compared to our red state brethren. 0.99

00:41:21.000 You know these people go home and say, like, man I can't believe I said all that shit. 0.99

00:41:26.000 It was so hard to just sit there and say that and keep a straight face. 0.99

00:41:29.000 And what's so funny is they try to make this stick.

00:41:32.000 Donald Trump obviously does really poorly in a lot of polls.

00:41:34.000 But even after all of this, and they've been trying to lay the economy at Donald Trump's feet, they still trust him.

00:41:41.000 The American public still trusts Donald Trump with the economy more than Joe Biden.

00:41:44.000 Yeah, I wish we had a job boom like February.

00:41:47.000 Yeah, you know.

00:41:48.000 I don't know.

00:41:49.000 Wait, hold on.

00:41:50.000 Employment, low, be nice.

00:41:51.000 Record setting S&P 500 or no?

00:41:54.000 Yeah, something like that.

00:41:55.000 That would be really cool.

00:41:56.000 That only helps rich people. 0.95

00:41:58.000 It doesn't affect Main Street.

00:41:59.000 Oh yeah, I thought you supported unions.

00:42:01.000 What do you think is going on with their pension? 0.92

00:42:03.000 Dummies.

00:42:04.000 What'd the Dems call it? 0.96

00:42:05.000 Trickle-down economics?

00:42:07.000 So what the hell kind of BS is that?

00:42:09.000 No, they call it trickle-up.

00:42:10.000 Yeah, because trickle-down kind of made sense.

00:42:12.000 Can we find a picture from this decade?

00:42:13.000 You know what?

00:42:14.000 How about just this century?

00:42:14.000 No human is illegal.

00:42:15.000 Of course not.

00:42:15.000 They're not from Mars.

00:42:16.000 Their conduct is illegal.

00:42:16.000 works every time.

00:42:17.000 Can we find a picture from this decade?

00:42:22.000 You know what, how about just the century?

00:42:23.000 No human is illegal, of course not, they're not from Mars.

00:42:27.000 Their conduct is illegal, they're here illegally. 1.00

00:42:30.000 Yeah, it's not so much the human itself as it is the caravan that went through the border

00:42:38.000 unprotected in the middle of the night with sex workers under the floorboards.

00:42:44.000 If we have to put our finger on it?

00:42:46.000 I think that's more of a problem that we have.

00:42:49.000 We do have Andrew Clavin.

00:42:50.000 Oh, we do have Andrew Clavin.

00:42:51.000 All right.

00:42:51.000 Again, the promo code is CrowderDNCStream.

00:42:54.000 You get $20 off Mug Club and use the hashtag CrowderDNCStream.

00:42:57.000 We'll be reading some of your tweets, looking at your outfits.

00:43:00.000 But Mr. Andrew Clavin, how are you, sir?

00:43:03.000 I'm good.

00:43:03.000 How you doing?

00:43:04.000 I love that suit.

00:43:04.000 You look like you just came from Casablanca.

00:43:06.000 Really?

00:43:07.000 I was...

00:43:08.000 No, come on now.

00:43:09.000 Has that been...

00:43:10.000 Oh, it's gone with the wind was canceled.

00:43:11.000 I think Miami Vice is still allowed until they find out that Don Johnson has been in

00:43:16.000 a couple of more conservative films like Brawl and Cell Block 99.

00:43:19.000 So I'm in the clear.

00:43:21.000 Andrew Klavan, what is this?

00:43:23.000 You look like you're in the town home in Pacific Heights when Matthew Modine had Kevin...

00:43:29.000 Had Michael Keaton twist and razor blades.

00:43:31.000 Is this a little garage for you?

00:43:34.000 the combination of Noah's Ark and the Poseidon Adventure for those of your audience.

00:43:39.000 The two people in your audience who know what the Poseidon Adventure was.

00:43:41.000 Yeah, it looks like it.

00:43:42.000 It's my loft.

00:43:43.000 I'm in the loft.

00:43:44.000 Well, you know what?

00:43:45.000 Next time when you come on, don't make your first reference a shitty Dennis Quaid film.

00:43:51.000 I remember, I remember I was watching actually, what was it, the Poseidon, the other, I'm not joking now, but the other Poseidon, the remake, whatever it was, with the ship, I think it was Poseidon Adventure.

00:44:02.000 Was it Poseidon Adventure?

00:44:03.000 Is that what it was called?

00:44:04.000 I think it was just Poseidon.

00:44:05.000 No, it was just Poseidon, the boat was called Poseidon.

00:44:06.000 Yeah, that's what we're talking about. 0.99

00:44:07.000 And I was there with my black manager, a guy named Tony Camacho, he's Dominican, and we were just sitting and about halfway through he just said, This shit. 0.99

00:44:17.000 Alright, you wanna go leave? 0.99

00:44:18.000 I'm like, sure.

00:44:19.000 We can do that.

00:44:20.000 I don't know if it was just a racial divide, but he had no qualms about the fact that he paid for a film and didn't want to finish it.

00:44:25.000 It's like, I'm not into this at all. 0.98

00:44:26.000 Whereas my cheap, sorry, white ass was like, well, don't we have to see how it ends? 1.00

00:44:29.000 Maybe it'll redeem the last two hours of our life lost that we'll never get back. 1.00

00:44:32.000 He's like, I ain't got time for this shit. 0.99

00:44:35.000 I got stuff to do. 0.99

00:44:36.000 I got water to drink.

00:44:39.000 Andrew, have you been watching the convention the previous nights?

00:44:42.000 I've been glued to this set.

00:44:43.000 I mean, the laughter, the tears, the sentimental moments of reminiscence that brought our nation together.

00:44:49.000 No, I haven't.

00:44:51.000 The funny thing is, you're not off at all.

00:44:52.000 Like, they just used John Lewis as a springboard to go back to a montage of fire hoses and German shepherds and talk about how America is more racist than ever.

00:45:00.000 It is.

00:45:01.000 It just gets worse and worse.

00:45:02.000 It's like a hell pit, you know? 0.95

00:45:04.000 I don't even understand how anybody... How did the black guy next to you, how did he get in the building? 0.97

00:45:08.000 What the hell is going on here?

00:45:12.000 Kevin?

00:45:14.000 I'm not going to touch that with a team football!

00:45:17.000 Affirmative action, man.

00:45:20.000 But they didn't qualify for the African American, because they're 52%, they qualified for the twin grant.

00:45:28.000 Really it was just, we wanted to do a sketch where we wanted to recreate Demolition Man and we couldn't afford a stunt double.

00:45:36.000 We just knew we'd have two of them.

00:45:37.000 after all i have to i've been dipping in i've been dipping in as uh... bill clinton

00:45:37.000 I've been dipping in.

00:45:49.000 would say into the uh... convention from time to time

00:45:53.000 and uh... what i see in all honesty what i see is a on the endless series

00:45:57.000 of totally immoral people telling me that they're better than i am

00:46:01.000 Which, I have to tell you, is unlikely. 0.99

00:46:03.000 It really is unlikely that, like, Bill Clinton, Kamala Harris... Kamala Harris, she is so... that woman is so corrupt. 1.00

00:46:10.000 I mean, here's a woman who literally slept her way into politics. 1.00

00:46:13.000 She's, like, held back evidence that could have gotten people out of death row.

00:46:17.000 It's like...

00:46:20.000 When you said she is so, and before you said corrupt, I thought you were going to go Indian. 0.99

00:46:26.000 She is just so Indian. 0.99

00:46:30.000 Just too much.

00:46:31.000 It's too much with the Indian. 1.00

00:46:33.000 It's like, lay off the Indian. 1.00

00:46:34.000 Exactly.

00:46:35.000 That's enough Indian. 1.00

00:46:36.000 Enough Indian. 1.00

00:46:36.000 Yeah, it's enough. 1.00

00:46:38.000 I mean, listen, you know, you do it like, you know, you do it like you have a Bobby

00:46:42.000 Jindal.

00:46:43.000 We're good for 12 years.

00:46:46.000 I'm just saying that at a certain point, the tokenism is all filled up.

00:46:49.000 So my point here tonight, Andrew, what do you predict we're going to be seeing from,

00:46:54.000 let's say, well, we already had John Legend and Keisha Bottoms, Joe Biden.

00:46:59.000 Yeah, he's the one nobody's talking about.

00:47:01.000 I think he's going to ask the question that is on everyone's mind.

00:47:06.000 Where am I?

00:47:07.000 Huh?

00:47:11.000 Is QG still up?

00:47:15.000 It's in my list.

00:47:16.000 The best speech of the convention so far has been Jill Biden, but I would have a lot more respect for her if she would stop them from doing this to her husband.

00:47:24.000 Because it's funny if you're cruel and soulless like myself, but it's really not.

00:47:29.000 You know, when you step back and you actually have some compassion and try not to go to hell, There's a guy who's deteriorating in front of us.

00:47:38.000 You know, it's kind of going to be like that scene in, you know, the... What's the scene with the singer?

00:47:44.000 A star is born.

00:47:45.000 Remember the star is born where... Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:47:48.000 No, I have no idea what you're talking about, but... The ship is turned upside down and the star... There we go.

00:47:56.000 There we go. 0.99

00:47:58.000 Stop it with the shitty Dennis Quaid references, Clayton! 0.99

00:48:02.000 It's too niche! 0.98

00:48:04.000 My comedy's broad!

00:48:06.000 No, I think you're right. 0.92

00:48:08.000 I mean, this is a demented old circus monkey at this point, Joe Biden. 0.95

00:48:12.000 Someone should be looking out for him. 0.98

00:48:12.000 It really is. 0.98

00:48:15.000 I mean, if anything, really, Kamala Harris, she could be the one to save him and just go out and say, you know what? 0.94

00:48:22.000 I said that you were a rapist, and I still think so.

00:48:25.000 Give her a couple of months. 0.99

00:48:26.000 Give her a couple of months. 0.52

00:48:27.000 You know what, let's do the read, Tara Reads.

00:48:30.000 I just saved you a bunch of money from having to reverse the ticket later on down the trail.

00:48:34.000 All right, I'll be back in a couple of months to collect my trophy. 0.99

00:48:37.000 Bye, see you later, rapist. 0.92

00:48:39.000 Hey, by the way, check out his Amazon Prime and Netflix queue, okay? 0.99

00:48:42.000 It reads like a who's who of Catch a Predator.

00:48:44.000 All right, bye.

00:48:45.000 She could end it. 0.92

00:48:47.000 She could put him out of his misery.

00:48:48.000 Do you think there was a...

00:48:49.000 Give her a couple of months. 0.52

00:48:51.000 Give her a couple of months. 0.52

00:48:52.000 She wants to get closer to the Oval Office before she does that. 0.99

00:48:54.000 Then all bets are off.

00:48:56.000 Yeah, I think you're...

00:48:57.000 I think, oh is this, I'm trying to see who's on right now.

00:48:59.000 It looks like, what's her name, that late night host. 0.92

00:49:02.000 It's not her.

00:49:03.000 Lily Singh?

00:49:04.000 Hold on a second, Andrea, I want you to see this because you know you're a talented writer.

00:49:04.000 It's not her.

00:49:07.000 I want you to give us an opinion on, you know, none of that.

00:49:10.000 I've heard them over and over and over again.

00:49:13.000 But nothing is more dangerous to our democracy than his attacks on mail-in voting during a pandemic.

00:49:21.000 Okay, here's the truth.

00:49:22.000 It's a pandemic.

00:49:23.000 Donald Trump doesn't want any of us to vote because he knows he can't win fair and square.

00:49:28.000 Wow, you smoking crack?

00:49:30.000 So whether you vote by mail or in person wearing your mask, it is your vote and it's your right.

00:49:36.000 Don't let Donald Trump take that away from you.

00:49:38.000 It's not your right to vote by mail without identification, without a process that's been set up in place with, effectively, if it were a company like the USPS that's lost money for 13 years in a row.

00:49:38.000 No!

00:49:50.000 It is your right to vote. 1.00

00:49:51.000 It's not your right to sit at home and watch your stupid Cardi B and potential presidential candidate interview and be like, I'm gonna vote though. 0.99

00:50:00.000 Well, how about you? 0.99

00:50:00.000 Do you have any ID with you? 0.99

00:50:01.000 Nah.

00:50:03.000 Well, okay, well then I guess you should mail it in. 1.00

00:50:05.000 Racist! 1.00

00:50:07.000 You racist! 1.00

00:50:08.000 You racist! 1.00

00:50:11.000 They've got a little problem with enthusiasm, you know. 0.80

00:50:13.000 It's like they figure they might be able to get people to go like, all right, I'll vote for Assad and then a male for Joe Biden, but nobody is going to, I mean, just really, no one in America is going to go like, yeah, I'll get out of this chair and walk down the hall and vote for, no, but I think who would say that?

00:50:28.000 It doesn't make any sense.

00:50:29.000 His next ploy is going to be every vote for Joe Biden comes with a free ex-chair.

00:50:34.000 In your house.

00:50:35.000 Or then it'll just be like, it'll just have to whittle it away to like, it'll be a lower back pillow, then maybe a nice like, cashmina.

00:50:41.000 But the point is, yeah.

00:50:43.000 You're gonna have to go to people's houses with like this, the lever, you know?

00:50:46.000 Here's the lever, can you pull it?

00:50:48.000 Maybe, I don't know, I'm fine.

00:50:53.000 Even the guy who opened it, Andrew Yang, can we bring up those screens?

00:50:59.000 Have you seen Andrew Yang?

00:50:59.000 We have the screenshots of on Twitter and Instagram where when Joe Biden was the nominee, people were saying, I can't believe this is happening.

00:51:05.000 And this is Andrew Yang saying, I understand and know the feeling.

00:51:09.000 You endorsed him and you were the number one person to speak.

00:51:16.000 Even people who are on the docket don't like him. 1.00

00:51:19.000 I bet you Steph Curry is going to come out and be like, listen, I know he's a piece of shit, but he's our piece of shit. 1.00

00:51:28.000 And he's like, you know, a couple of dribbles through the legs. 1.00

00:51:29.000 And everyone's like, ah, cheer for Steph Curry.

00:51:31.000 And then Brian Stelzo edited it together like it was for Joe Biden.

00:51:34.000 And is anyone pissed that, or these people should be pissed, that Joe Biden has spoken with none of them.

00:51:40.000 With none of them. 1.00

00:51:41.000 He spoke with the, forgive me, the wet pussy girl. 1.00

00:51:44.000 That's who he gave the interview to. 1.00

00:51:46.000 It's like, oh, I want to make sure that the person I give a scoop is really worthy of, oh, blowjobs and barbecue ribs. 0.99

00:51:53.000 In fact, she's dry as hell, too. 0.99

00:51:54.000 Well, that's what she says.

00:51:57.000 She says that's why she's, you know, giving medical advice to children like Kevin Jennings.

00:52:01.000 What were you about to say there, Andrew Klavan?

00:52:03.000 She's dry.

00:52:03.000 Well, I do like the fact that the press has been complaining for four years that Donald Trump is a threat to the First Amendment because he points out that they lie all the time.

00:52:11.000 This guy, he literally hasn't answered a question from any reporter in two months.

00:52:16.000 And when they ask him questions, it's always like, Where'd you get that tie?

00:52:19.000 You know, I like that tie.

00:52:20.000 It's very nice.

00:52:22.000 Am I wearing a tie?

00:52:23.000 Where am I?

00:52:25.000 No, it's a bib!

00:52:27.000 Oh, a tie!

00:52:29.000 How'd that get there?

00:52:31.000 And I heard that Hunter Biden... Is Hunter Biden literally going to be at this place?

00:52:35.000 Is that true?

00:52:36.000 I heard that.

00:52:36.000 No, no, no, they'll be playing a game Hunting Biden, where it's just they give everyone an old Winchester, they give them double-barreled shotguns and a recreation porch, and they just fire into the air to see if he shits himself.

00:52:47.000 I thought he was going to fly in on his private jet that he bought with the profits from his Ukrainian deal of $50,000 a day.

00:52:54.000 You watch your mouth!

00:52:55.000 That man is an energy expert, sir.

00:53:00.000 My dad is vice president.

00:53:02.000 Alright, here's your check.

00:53:03.000 Get out of my way.

00:53:03.000 Yeah, it'd be like me hiring you to fix my plumbing for half a mil.

00:53:09.000 Hey, I really like true crime.

00:53:12.000 How do you do with copper wiring?

00:53:14.000 Okay.

00:53:17.000 That's a wrench, isn't it?

00:53:17.000 I'll fix it.

00:53:18.000 Yeah, I would like a wrench tonight so I can beat myself over the head with it.

00:53:22.000 Just because, I think that if I shot myself, it would be like, I need to suffer at least close to as much as I will having to watch the rest of this. 0.89

00:53:32.000 So if I just hit myself in the head with a wrench, it would be the equivalent. 0.74

00:53:35.000 This is the other thing. 0.92

00:53:36.000 This is truly boring.

00:53:38.000 I mean, you know, I do have some sympathy for the fact that they had to do it all, you know, in this online virtual way, but they are really dull.

00:53:48.000 And, you know, the only thing that's interesting about them is recounting how corrupt they are.

00:53:52.000 You know, the only thing that's interesting about watching Bill Clinton is thinking, like, wait, isn't that the guy who, like, stuck a cigar in a girl young enough to be his daughter?

00:53:58.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:53:59.000 Talks about what we should do for our nation and Cardi B's like, that would be ill-advised if you want to keep that shit wet! 0.99

00:54:07.000 Don't be putting no Don, don't be putting no John Fuentes up in your hooch! 1.00

00:54:13.000 That's wet ash pussy, I think it's a little different. 1.00

00:54:21.000 Oh, I hate that this is America. 0.99

00:54:24.000 Like, just to think of it, the equivalent would be like, I'm trying to think, the equivalent would be like if, I guess, maybe, uh, uh, like, if, uh, Mondale were being, you know, the equivalent would be if, like, Bill Clinton were interviewed.

00:54:35.000 Let's even go there to, like, Salt-N-Pepa, right?

00:54:37.000 And people are like, oh, he's going to do it with the push it broads? 1.00

00:54:39.000 Where as this one is like, no way, pussy! 1.00

00:54:42.000 This shit gonna be in the Oval Office, all over your desk! 1.00

00:54:45.000 It's just so disgusting that these are the role models for young girls right now. 1.00

00:54:50.000 Like if it were JFK, I'm trying to think of a crossword, maybe it'd be like Diana Ross or Aretha Franklin asking about relevance.

00:54:56.000 This guy, the only interview he's given, that's right, the only interview Joe Biden's given that I know of is Cardi B!

00:55:02.000 Cardi B!

00:55:03.000 He did it because somebody told him, I'm sure this is why he did it, somebody told him that young black people are looking at this guy and saying, are you kidding me?

00:55:14.000 The older black people are going, wait, if it wasn't him, it was going to be Bernie Sanders. 0.97

00:55:18.000 And the young people are going, like, there was nobody else?

00:55:21.000 It was him and Bernie Sanders.

00:55:23.000 That's it.

00:55:23.000 They had to make a choice.

00:55:25.000 Yeah, and Killer Mike is out there endorsing Bernie Sanders. 0.99

00:55:28.000 And the only reason that black people couldn't get on board, they're like, y'all mean the cracker who all them bitches stole is Mike? 1.00

00:55:35.000 And he didn't do nothing! 1.00

00:55:36.000 He's supposed to be my president!

00:55:37.000 The guy who didn't do nothing, then he came up to me like, I'll barter, that's on Mike now.

00:55:40.000 He was like, yeah!

00:55:41.000 The white boy punk, the future president? 1.00

00:55:43.000 What up, bitch? 1.00

00:55:44.000 Would you lean over and slap this guy? 1.00

00:55:46.000 You shouldn't be doing this material.

00:55:48.000 I should absolutely be doing this material.

00:55:50.000 That's wrong.

00:55:51.000 Let's see.

00:55:53.000 Black Lives Matter.

00:55:54.000 What does Fauci say?

00:55:57.000 Final question.

00:55:59.000 On a scale from 1 to 10, how do you rate the United States Post Office, Andrew Klavan?

00:56:06.000 You know, listen.

00:56:07.000 I have to say this first.

00:56:09.000 My post lady is one of my favorite people.

00:56:11.000 She is like the nicest person in the world.

00:56:13.000 Is she white? 0.99

00:56:14.000 No, she's not.

00:56:15.000 She's white.

00:56:16.000 Everyone sees her supremacy, but go ahead.

00:56:20.000 She's just the nicest human being.

00:56:21.000 The place should be shut down.

00:56:22.000 Why on earth do we have a post office?

00:56:25.000 Tell me one thing that we do with the post office.

00:56:27.000 Nothing.

00:56:28.000 It's catalogs.

00:56:28.000 It's catalogs, catalogs.

00:56:30.000 You can get bills.

00:56:31.000 You can pay bills online.

00:56:33.000 It's over.

00:56:33.000 The post office is over.

00:56:37.000 I don't know.

00:56:39.000 Hey, listen.

00:56:39.000 Every time I do your show, they say to me, don't forget to plug the Andrew Klavan Show on the Daily Wire.

00:56:44.000 And I always forget because I'm too busy fighting with you.

00:56:46.000 Well, maybe you should go plug it to your post lady. 1.00

00:56:53.000 By the time you get that plug, it'll be, what, next year?

00:56:56.000 It'll be coming in with a bunch of like, well, I don't want to piss off a good contingency of our audience.

00:57:00.000 It consists of couponers.

00:57:02.000 So I don't want them to be, we don't want to lose the couponer audience.

00:57:05.000 Yeah, they just dropped.

00:57:06.000 They're not watching.

00:57:07.000 How else are they going to get their gain at 32 cents off?

00:57:10.000 Hey, it's a deal.

00:57:12.000 Alright, so it is the Andrew Klavan Show, of course, on the Daily Wire.

00:57:15.000 You're there, Ben Shapiro is there, Michael Knowles is there.

00:57:19.000 Who cares about them? 1.00

00:57:20.000 Just put the damn show on. 0.99

00:57:22.000 I just wanted to make sure that I paint the full picture in that it's a who's who of exclusively white. 1.00

00:57:32.000 That's a rule.

00:57:33.000 I mean, you know, it's an old rule, but, you know, we're fond of it.

00:57:35.000 You know, you're in Los Angeles.

00:57:38.000 Where could you find someone of color?

00:57:40.000 All right.

00:57:40.000 Thank you, Mr. Claven.

00:57:42.000 We appreciate it, brother.

00:57:43.000 All right.

00:57:44.000 Bye.

00:57:46.000 All right.

00:57:47.000 Who do we got going on here?

00:57:48.000 This guy.

00:57:50.000 Oh, Joe Biden's talking.

00:57:52.000 No, no, no.

00:57:53.000 He went and found random strangers who could speak better than him.

00:57:59.000 I need more of all you guys.

00:58:01.000 I can't hear you.

00:58:01.000 Why was he answering her and then moved to someone else?

00:58:07.000 Look, he talked about the middle class.

00:58:10.000 Who's she? 0.97

00:58:11.000 What'd he say?

00:58:11.000 Why was he answering her and then moved to someone else?

00:58:14.000 Look, he talked about the middle class.

00:58:16.000 Who's she? 0.97

00:58:17.000 What'd he say?

00:58:18.000 You're asking if it's passed down from one generation to the next, the equity in a home.

00:58:22.000 You know, the middle class has continuously taken hits and one of the reasons why we're on this call 1.00

00:58:28.000 is we realize how important it is to- No, we can bring up Reg the Bandit actually here.

00:58:32.000 Reg, I'm pretty sure you have the numbers.

00:58:33.000 The middle class is doing better than ever in the history of the United States.

00:58:36.000 They had the average income increase in the first few years of Donald Trump,

00:58:39.000 I believe it was about 5,000 something dollars as opposed to $1,000 under eight years of Barack Obama.

00:58:45.000 Reg the Bandit, I think you have that number there. I don't have it in front of me, I pretty much just have a schedule.

00:58:49.000 It's something along those lines, correct? It wasn't like a $5,000 average salary increase

00:58:54.000 in the first two years under Donald Trump compared to eight under Barack Obama?

00:58:59.000 And they're also paying an average of $1,600 less in taxes?

00:59:02.000 Yeah, I think that's about right.

00:59:05.000 All right.

00:59:06.000 As a matter of fact, he gets to the point. That's what I love about it.

00:59:10.000 I'll get you the overlay in a second. But yeah, it's an exponential increase

00:59:15.000 compared to what you see under Obama and people like that.

00:59:18.000 that.

00:59:19.000 So yeah, and then we also have, you know... Wait, hold on a second, do you guys see this?

00:59:24.000 It's Indian Ezra Klein!

00:59:26.000 Oh, yeah!

00:59:27.000 Come on! 0.61

00:59:28.000 Someone bring up Ezra Klein!

00:59:30.000 And our job is to speak the truth.

00:59:32.000 That's Indian Ezra Klein! 0.95

00:59:36.000 Someone bring up Ezra Klein so I don't get in trouble here.

00:59:39.000 Bring up Ezra Klein, Too Cute Maddie, otherwise I'm gonna be pissed because you're gonna leave me out hanging.

00:59:43.000 It's Indian Ezra Klein.

00:59:46.000 It's not Indian, he's African American.

00:59:49.000 Is that guy African American?

00:59:50.000 It's hard to tell with Kamala Harris beating the criteria. 0.87

00:59:52.000 Yeah, she kind of muddies the waters a little bit. 1.00

00:59:54.000 Your guess is as good as mine.

00:59:55.000 Come on! 0.61

00:59:55.000 It's the same guy! 0.61

00:59:56.000 It's the Indian Ezra Klein! 0.75

00:59:58.000 No, he's definitely African American.

00:59:59.000 Really?

01:00:00.000 Come on! 0.61

01:00:00.000 His name is Dr. Vivek Murthy. 0.61

01:00:07.000 Would you like to revise your answer, sir?

01:00:09.000 His cousin's Eddie Murphy, I think.

01:00:11.000 His nickname is Leroy.

01:00:14.000 Do you think there's tension in that household?

01:00:16.000 There's a little bit of jealousy?

01:00:19.000 He didn't live up to the standards of Eddie?

01:00:21.000 What if he just showed up in a leather blue jumpsuit?

01:00:23.000 What were you about to say there, Reg?

01:00:28.000 Oh no, I was going to affirm that he is indeed Indian.

01:00:33.000 Can we not forget that, you know, Joe Biden, in answering those questions, literally earlier, you're just hearing a bunch of random people with no facts spouting things that they think might be facts, and then you've got Joe Biden going, And not even answering them directly.

01:00:52.000 It's like someone asks a nonsensical question that really could be answered vaguely, and he's so uncomfortable on his feet that he's like, uh-huh, I think earlier this man was saying that we're in a new revolution. 0.99

01:01:03.000 That guy's like, what the fuck? 0.98

01:01:04.000 I didn't say anything about that. 0.99

01:01:05.000 Yeah, that's what I heard someone here say. 0.75

01:01:07.000 Maybe it was the fat guy in the glasses.

01:01:09.000 One of the big screens.

01:01:10.000 We do have a chat that says, uh, my income has increased by 25% since Trump took office.

01:01:16.000 I have hope for a real life for the first time.

01:01:18.000 Oh, well that's anecdotal, but I'm glad to hear it.

01:01:20.000 Yeah, and then Garrett says he's making more money than he ever has.

01:01:20.000 G-squared.

01:01:24.000 Garrett, you're not supposed to talk about your raises.

01:01:27.000 It makes the other employees jealous.

01:01:29.000 Especially too cute Maddie.

01:01:32.000 She's getting 77 cents on your quarter black dollar. 1.00

01:01:37.000 Not made of money.

01:01:38.000 Money doesn't grow on trees for women. 1.00

01:01:43.000 But you know what, because of systemic feminazis, no, because of systemic racism and misogyny, there's no way that there could be a Wisconsin senator that's a woman. 0.99

01:01:56.000 Oh wait, look at CNN.

01:01:57.000 Her head's shaped like the Liberty Bell. 0.96

01:02:02.000 Do we want to listen to Tammy Baldwin?

01:02:04.000 No, listen, I gotta take a leak, so let's go to a break.

01:02:08.000 Can we put in the slightly... Yeah, let's put in the short break.

01:02:08.000 You know what?

01:02:12.000 We'll go to a short break and we'll come back with more of your chat and hopefully not an... Oh, next is Tammy Duckworth.

01:02:18.000 Alright, we'll play a game or something.

01:02:20.000 We'll figure it out.

01:02:20.000 You don't need to be watching Tammys.

01:02:22.000 Openly gay person Oh, hi. 0.98

01:02:40.000 Hey.

01:02:40.000 I haven't seen you on the board.

01:02:43.000 Do you guys have Black Rifle coffee here?

01:02:46.000 No, I'm sorry, we only carry good small-batch coffee here.

01:02:50.000 Well, it is great small-batch coffee.

01:02:52.000 Well, that really can't be unless it's fresh-roasted.

01:02:57.000 Well, it is fresh-roasted.

01:02:59.000 I don't think you know what that means.

01:03:01.000 You know what this is?

01:03:02.000 This is Masa Lekua Pique, which of course, in the Indonesian language, it's weasel coffee.

01:03:12.000 You just made that up.

01:03:13.000 No, it's been passed through their digestive tract. 0.57

01:03:15.000 That's disgusting.

01:03:16.000 And then it's nature's wet processing.

01:03:18.000 Yeah, but is it good?

01:03:19.000 I mean, it's alright.

01:03:23.000 Are they investor philanthropists?

01:03:26.000 Do they support good causes?

01:03:28.000 Yeah, tons of causes.

01:03:29.000 Veterans causes and first responder causes, but it doesn't matter because they make good coffee.

01:03:34.000 So that's what I'm wanting.

01:03:36.000 Do you have any?

01:03:38.000 You know what?

01:03:38.000 Actually, I'm just gonna order it, then make it freshly roasted.

01:03:42.000 Black Rifle Coffee.

01:03:44.000 It's good.

01:03:45.000 So I've decided to hijack the show because everyone else has a tiny, tiny woman-like, 1.00

01:04:04.000 baby-like bladder. 0.98

01:04:06.000 Except for everyone here. 0.63

01:04:07.000 2Q Matty, Quarter Black, Audio Wade. 0.96

01:04:09.000 Huge bladder.

01:04:10.000 So we've got coming up Steph Curry.

01:04:12.000 You know what's funny about this is they've been showing Steph Curry's face since the very beginning because they want to keep people interested.

01:04:18.000 And every time they have a break, they're like, it's next!

01:04:21.000 Sorry, Stephen!

01:04:26.000 Hey, Joe Louis, place.

01:04:27.000 Hold it.

01:04:28.000 Hold it.

01:04:28.000 Good boy.

01:04:29.000 Sit.

01:04:30.000 Hold on a second.

01:04:31.000 There you go.

01:04:31.000 You'll be my coach for a little bit, Joe Louis.

01:04:32.000 Thank you.

01:04:34.000 The Podge twins, for the first time in their adult life, decided to go to the bathroom separately.

01:04:39.000 Joe Louis, you're in the microphone path.

01:04:40.000 Here, let's move back. 0.55

01:04:41.000 Joe Louis!

01:04:42.000 They decided to... Joe Louis!

01:04:44.000 Just move.

01:04:44.000 They decided to go to the bathroom separately.

01:04:46.000 They decided to go to the bathroom.

01:04:46.000 They usually pee together.

01:04:48.000 Holding hands works.

01:04:49.000 And then, and then, uh, uh, Tokunawa said, well, Steven, why don't you just go outside?

01:04:52.000 And I went outside, and it's the gymnastics class from next door, and they're doing stretches.

01:04:56.000 So I would have been, like, a registered sex offender in the next episode of Cutesies.

01:05:00.000 So my bladder's about to explode.

01:05:02.000 Alright, hold on, let's see what Joe Biden has to say.

01:05:04.000 What'd he have to say eight months ago?

01:05:10.000 Are they allowed to broadcast this as live?

01:05:13.000 Are they allowed to label it live?

01:05:15.000 Yeah, that's kind of rough.

01:05:17.000 There's got to be so many different inputs.

01:05:18.000 Hey, isn't that right?

01:05:19.000 You're a better, you're a better co-host than those two twins of color who just take, they're both taking dumps. 1.00

01:05:25.000 How dare you say that? 1.00

01:05:26.000 It's a white dog. 0.99

01:05:26.000 You even have more, you have more bowel control. 0.99

01:05:29.000 Just another white dog taking over. 1.00

01:05:31.000 By the way, for people who don't know, this is the bully lean that we talk about, where he just leans on you and gives you, your seat's been taken, bitch. 1.00

01:05:37.000 Oh, wow. 0.99

01:05:39.000 All right, Bill, can you handle it for just a couple minutes while I go to the bathroom?

01:05:42.000 Yeah, I got you.

01:05:43.000 I got you.

01:05:43.000 Or you can stay there.

01:05:44.000 All right, Joe Louis, come on.

01:05:47.000 Alright, there we go.

01:05:48.000 We got the seats back.

01:05:49.000 We do have a tweet.

01:05:52.000 Bill, we have a tweet for you.

01:05:54.000 It says, I love that Bill Richmond dressed as Short Round from Temple of Doom.

01:05:59.000 Was that your intention?

01:05:59.000 That is spot on.

01:06:00.000 Well, I'm not going to lie.

01:06:02.000 When I was a shorter boy, I was Short Round.

01:06:04.000 No, yes, that is exactly it.

01:06:07.000 Look, I've got to go with these, right?

01:06:09.000 If I'm not recognized as Short Round in public, it's because I'm Kim Jong Un.

01:06:13.000 You've got to go with what God gave you.

01:06:16.000 Hold on, can we see what's on CNN right now?

01:06:18.000 Look at this.

01:06:19.000 They are celebrating veterans of America, but never has a party been so consistently against the military and what they stand for.

01:06:28.000 I mean, we've got amazing people in this country who have been a part of serving and spreading democracy, and yet Here they are saying, oh, we want to celebrate our veterans.

01:06:39.000 We want to celebrate our military.

01:06:41.000 And they're doing anything but.

01:06:42.000 That's what they're doing this whole time is trotting out people and saying, oh, this is the people we support.

01:06:46.000 This is his faith.

01:06:47.000 His faith.

01:06:48.000 It's not anything he actually stands for.

01:06:51.000 They want to play videos of people protesting the war and people in the war at the same time and say, we're represented by both of these people.

01:06:58.000 Right.

01:06:59.000 So you see what they just said.

01:07:01.000 This election is bigger than politics.

01:07:04.000 I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

01:07:05.000 What have we been watching every night?

01:07:07.000 Unfortunately, we've been watching the same thing.

01:07:10.000 I think it literally actually is politics.

01:07:13.000 Oh my gosh, I hurt my back, by the way.

01:07:16.000 Looking terrible.

01:07:17.000 No, no, I hurt my back moving this guy around.

01:07:20.000 We have a video coming out with Jujitsu and I just hurt like a little... I snapped my shit up, man. 0.99

01:07:24.000 I snapped my shit up. 1.00

01:07:25.000 What were you guys talking about? 1.00

01:07:26.000 What did I miss on my own show?

01:07:27.000 Well, we were talking about the political use of veterans to try and convince America that the DNC is actually in favor of veterans. 0.99

01:07:35.000 Did some guy roll himself out on a skateboard without legs and shit? 0.98

01:07:37.000 No, they just plopped him there and then made fun of him. 0.99

01:07:40.000 Oh, really? 1.00

01:07:41.000 They said, how could you support these Republican wars, you fucking piece of shit? 1.00

01:07:45.000 This isn't an in-person event. 1.00

01:07:48.000 We're live, Bill!

01:07:49.000 You won't put on an 80s jacket, but he'll bring this potty mouth.

01:07:53.000 Yes, yes I will.

01:07:54.000 He won't bring his shoulder pads, but he'll bring his street lingo. 0.72

01:07:58.000 No, no, I'm standing on the shoulder pads so I can be a little taller.

01:08:00.000 You are standing on the shoulder pads of lesser half Asians. 1.00

01:08:03.000 I'm glad you grabbed that, that's good.

01:08:05.000 Keanu?

01:08:06.000 Keanu?

01:08:08.000 Tiger Woods?

01:08:09.000 Man!

01:08:10.000 Do we have from Reg the Bandit, do we have those sources on the middle class stuff?

01:08:14.000 I know that I was, yeah, what was it?

01:08:17.000 Yeah, we do have an overlay.

01:08:19.000 There we go, okay.

01:08:21.000 So Trump outperformed both Bush and Obama.

01:08:24.000 So you had eight years under George Bush, then about a thousand under Obama, and then under Trump, in a very short period of time, you had 5,000 increase in income.

01:08:37.000 So I was right.

01:08:37.000 I said 1,008 years under Obama, 5,000 under Trump.

01:08:40.000 You know, I should trust myself more.

01:08:43.000 YouTube, you did this to me.

01:08:45.000 You did this to me, YouTube.

01:08:46.000 You made me doubt myself by browbeating me for a year and a half.

01:08:50.000 You just need a motivational poster.

01:08:52.000 Half-Asian Bill's getting uncomfortable because he's like, don't talk about the conversations with the people I go to. 1.00

01:08:57.000 Nope, nope, nope.

01:08:58.000 I'm just thinking about all the work I get to do.

01:09:00.000 Oh, believe me, I'll make sure you have it cut out for you.

01:09:03.000 Who is this right now?

01:09:04.000 Is this another Tammy? 0.81

01:09:04.000 Yeah, let's see. 0.81

01:09:05.000 That's Jill Biden.

01:09:07.000 Oh, Jill? 0.94

01:09:08.000 I couldn't tell with the clown makeup.

01:09:10.000 Oh hey, you didn't see it, but my eye naturally goes to the fine print.

01:09:13.000 So right before they zoomed in, at the bottom it said, use of DOD footage does not, should not constitute, or does not constitute an endorsement of military activity.

01:09:23.000 So guys, don't worry, they're literally crossing their fingers behind their back, but in the front, so they know.

01:09:28.000 Because we wouldn't want our military to engage in activity that is of them.

01:09:32.000 We would hate for them to be endorsed.

01:09:35.000 It's like they bring out Steph Curry and be like, just so you know, hashtag not all basketball players, okay?

01:09:43.000 Hashtag, we don't endorse the NBA.

01:09:46.000 And you guys aren't big fans of LeBron.

01:09:48.000 You just did a video on him.

01:09:49.000 Used to be, man.

01:09:49.000 Big fan of LeBron, man.

01:09:51.000 Till he came out political, I was like, man, this guy's a moron. 1.00

01:09:55.000 What made you think he's a moron? 1.00

01:09:57.000 Was it that stupid hat that didn't even work as far as syntax? 1.00

01:10:01.000 It's just all the hypocrisy that comes out of his mouth about our president. 1.00

01:10:04.000 He talks down to him. 0.93

01:10:05.000 It's like, they win the series, they don't want to go to the White House.

01:10:07.000 I'm like, man, just stop being a kid.

01:10:09.000 Grow up.

01:10:10.000 Be a man.

01:10:11.000 Well, Joe Biden can teach him a lesson or two in that. 0.93

01:10:14.000 Did you say rapist? 0.96

01:10:17.000 You said man. 0.94

01:10:18.000 I stand corrected.

01:10:20.000 No, he's still in remedial manhood.

01:10:22.000 Hey, hey, hey, we're calling Biden the Benjamin Button mentally.

01:10:27.000 He's just... That's everyone though.

01:10:30.000 Everyone is Benjamin Button mentally.

01:10:32.000 Not running for president!

01:10:34.000 That's true.

01:10:35.000 There's a fine distinction we have to draw here.

01:10:38.000 Because Donald Trump went into office looking so weird, like you can't really, you can't tell the age.

01:10:44.000 He's been dying his hair blonde already for a decade.

01:10:50.000 Oh, thank you.

01:10:51.000 Is this, is he George?

01:10:52.000 Is it Rod Stewart?

01:10:55.000 Oh, wow.

01:10:56.000 Well, my aunt has a picture with his face on it.

01:10:58.000 I thought that was a picture with his face on it.

01:11:01.000 Yeah, picture with the face of Rod Stewart.

01:11:02.000 Old ladies love him.

01:11:04.000 Horrible.

01:11:04.000 Hey, you know she has a face.

01:11:06.000 Her face is up here, people.

01:11:08.000 Wow, gratuitous lost leg shot. 0.98

01:11:11.000 Get the leg in there! 1.00

01:11:14.000 We're gonna end her interview with the basic instinct shot with Sharon Stone.

01:11:19.000 Just the nose.

01:11:22.000 And then Cardi B be like, you gotta wash your metal snatch! 1.00

01:11:25.000 You gotta keep that shit lubricated! 1.00

01:11:29.000 Like the Tin Man! 1.00

01:11:32.000 You stupid! 1.00

01:11:36.000 I can while away the hours with my pussy flower! 1.00

01:11:40.000 Vote Joe Biden, y'all! 0.99

01:11:42.000 I want y'all to remember, when y'all thinkin' Joe Biden, think this cooch! 0.99

01:11:46.000 When y'all votin' Joe Biden, think about this snook! 1.00

01:11:50.000 It's like, come on!

01:11:51.000 I'm taking everything off the screen so they can gift that.

01:11:53.000 Yeah, absolutely.

01:11:55.000 Tammy Duckworth is a fan of it. 1.00

01:11:57.000 She knows what I'm talking about with her stupid shark necklace. 1.00

01:12:00.000 Oh, thank you very much Rod Stewart. 1.00

01:12:02.000 I appreciate it.

01:12:04.000 When you think about Tammy Duckworth, this is the thing you've got to think.

01:12:06.000 Look at her bio down there.

01:12:08.000 This coke's been corked!

01:12:11.000 Just disintegrated!

01:12:12.000 A veteran, Purple Heart recipient, former Assistant Secretary of Veteran Affairs, and yet in her fourth year in the Senate, Illinois is still one of the most corrupt Terrible, awful stakes in the entire union. 0.56

01:12:25.000 You can't even be an amazing veteran who was injured in war, who has done amazing things in war and logistics.

01:12:32.000 You can't get Illinois right.

01:12:35.000 And not only that, the funny thing is, nobody cares here.

01:12:39.000 That's where they start with everything you just listed.

01:12:41.000 They're like, can we show the mechanical leg?

01:12:44.000 Just tilt the camera back down, please.

01:12:46.000 Do we have like a glycerin bottle we can spray on there?

01:12:47.000 I'd really like to make it pop.

01:12:49.000 Look, it's just a bunch of check boxes.

01:12:53.000 Hey, did we check this box for you?

01:12:54.000 Great, we earned your vote.

01:12:56.000 Right, I was going to say, I heard one of the founders of BET, the founder of BET, talking about how when he was asked the party to go to the Democratic National Convention and said, hey, we want you guys to advertise on BET, they go, why, we have you guys already.

01:13:09.000 Legit.

01:13:10.000 Legit, they did that.

01:13:11.000 That's how taking for granted the minority vote is, because they're trotting people out, but they're not even talking about the ideals, the values.

01:13:18.000 You know, I know we're gonna get in the comments, let them talk, what are they actually talking about?

01:13:21.000 Guys, we already know what they're talking about, and it's nothing.

01:13:24.000 There's nothing but surface level. 0.99

01:13:27.000 Guys, we gotta change the system, because this white guy, he's better than the other white guy, but we hate white guys. 1.00

01:13:34.000 But also white guys are bad. 1.00

01:13:35.000 And Cardi B's doing a live stream right now, like, I like the Terminator, bitch! 1.00

01:13:39.000 If she's not the Terminator who can, like, change shapes, she's not the one who's like, uh, I'll be back! 0.99

01:13:45.000 Vote Biden!

01:13:46.000 Vote Biden!

01:13:47.000 Get that coochie! 1.00

01:13:50.000 Cardi B. Dude, I want that coochies! 1.00

01:13:53.000 Isn't there gotta be, there's gotta be an artist out there, if he was going for, like, a black female who just isn't awful? 1.00

01:14:01.000 Nope.

01:14:01.000 Well, there's like, isn't, like, isn't Nicki Minaj a class act?

01:14:05.000 She makes Nicki Minaj like she's going to run for president. 1.00

01:14:09.000 Yeah.

01:14:09.000 I mean, she's totally classic compared to Cardi B. Who else do we have right now?

01:14:14.000 Actually, Nicki Minaj is insane.

01:14:15.000 I mean, you can just get Beyonce.

01:14:17.000 I mean, she's from Texas. 0.95

01:14:18.000 Yeah, get Beyonce. 1.00

01:14:18.000 She's great. 1.00

01:14:19.000 Or one of the other singers from Destiny's Child.

01:14:21.000 No, they're all, they're, yeah, no, Beyonce buried them.

01:14:23.000 Oh, yeah, they're gone.

01:14:24.000 Is that because they were more attractive than her?

01:14:28.000 There was a one girl in Destiny's Child who I thought was... I don't know which one.

01:14:33.000 I stopped following them when they rhymed down like that with down like that 19 times in a Charlie's Angels song.

01:14:39.000 Can we do a quick count?

01:14:40.000 I'm just curious.

01:14:41.000 Maybe Reginald Bandy can do this.

01:14:43.000 I'm curious how many images they're going to show of Bo, the good son, versus Hunter, the promiscuous, child-having, widow-dating son.

01:14:50.000 Nobody cares about this one.

01:14:57.000 Let's see, what is this?

01:14:58.000 This is nothing but pre-rolls tonight!

01:15:01.000 It's not even live!

01:15:02.000 Yeah, it still says live on there.

01:15:03.000 It's like Dave Chappelle or Key and Peele tossing to sketches.

01:15:17.000 Use of DOD footage does not constitute a support.

01:15:20.000 Wow.

01:15:20.000 Bo!

01:15:20.000 They're going Bo now like he's Jackson!

01:15:23.000 You know, he can play two sports at once!

01:15:25.000 He just ended at didn't know.

01:15:26.000 Look, he's bolder back then!

01:15:27.000 service here he can play two sports at once you never had to ask if you do

01:15:32.000 something the right way he didn't know any other way he just ended it didn't

01:15:37.000 know he turned look he's bolder back then yeah he is We're supposed to believe that he grew hair!

01:15:43.000 That is interesting.

01:15:44.000 When the field was clear for him to run for the Senate, he chose to finish his job as AG instead.

01:15:53.000 After 9-11, he joined the National Guard.

01:15:55.000 He felt it was his obligation.

01:15:57.000 He did his duty to his country and deployed to Iraq.

01:16:01.000 Joe Biden served his country in battle.

01:16:04.000 What was his full name?

01:16:06.000 Was it Beau?

01:16:07.000 Beau Biden.

01:16:07.000 That was his full name?

01:16:08.000 Yeah, Beau.

01:16:09.000 Beau, was it short for something?

01:16:11.000 No, that's a southern name. 1.00

01:16:13.000 No, I'm an asshole. 1.00

01:16:15.000 I thought for sure it was short for something. 1.00

01:16:18.000 I have no idea.

01:16:19.000 I don't care.

01:16:20.000 Hey, when are we getting a montage for Hunter?

01:16:23.000 Yeah, I want to see the black sheep of the family.

01:16:27.000 But he's one rich black sheep. 0.75

01:16:30.000 He's got that on us.

01:16:32.000 Oh, it's Beau.

01:16:32.000 Spelled like French.

01:16:33.000 Beau means handsome.

01:16:37.000 I had no idea.

01:16:38.000 But Beau Jackson.

01:16:39.000 B-O is Beau Jackson.

01:16:41.000 What was that short for?

01:16:42.000 Nothing.

01:16:44.000 B-O is different from bowl.

01:16:46.000 I know, they are different.

01:16:47.000 It's just B-O? 0.69

01:16:48.000 They're just B-O. 1.00

01:16:48.000 Well, that's silly. 1.00

01:16:49.000 I have no idea. 0.79

01:16:50.000 Oh, Bill Clinton got to you?

01:16:51.000 That's a tragedy.

01:16:52.000 He's genuine.

01:16:53.000 No, that's just the sniff.

01:16:54.000 but it's never had anything to do with his work for Biden.

01:16:56.000 Oh, Bill Clinton got you?

01:16:58.000 Oh my god!

01:16:59.000 Joe Biden's empathy is genuine.

01:17:01.000 You can feel it.

01:17:02.000 He's genuine?

01:17:03.000 That's why President Obama asked Joe to head out to the Cancer Moon Shop.

01:17:06.000 That's the vortex velocity of his nasal cavity suction.

01:17:11.000 God, I'm never going to watch Seinfeld again.

01:17:15.000 It's tainted.

01:17:16.000 God, man.

01:17:17.000 She looks good, though. 0.99

01:17:19.000 She always looked great, but she's a batshit crazy liberal. 0.99

01:17:22.000 No, no, they got an actress, guys. 0.97

01:17:25.000 They're just paying her.

01:17:26.000 She's like, this is a gig, COVID, you gotta take what you can get.

01:17:30.000 Just make sure you put first actress, then convention moderator.

01:17:34.000 Oh, it's Pete!

01:17:35.000 It's Pete Butt Gig.

01:17:36.000 Let's see what he has to say.

01:17:37.000 What me worry?

01:17:39.000 He's at a wedding reception.

01:17:41.000 I see he remembered his hair in a can tonight.

01:17:45.000 Bring up that picture of him when he was doing a Skype call on CNN or something and he was clearly bald.

01:17:51.000 Like you ever see those late night commercials where they're like, your wife will never know!

01:17:56.000 And it's basically just spray paint, that's what he uses.

01:17:58.000 Look at the space between his nose and his lip, he could grow one hell of a mustache.

01:18:02.000 That's a shame, man.

01:18:03.000 He has a space to grow a mustache.

01:18:04.000 Yeah, there's a lot of real estate there.

01:18:06.000 I mean, if he grew his mustache out, man, that'd be some thick stache.

01:18:08.000 He did.

01:18:09.000 It's there.

01:18:10.000 It's right there.

01:18:10.000 There's no testosterone to push it out, though.

01:18:12.000 Hormonally, he can't grow a stache.

01:18:14.000 I mean, he has the real estate.

01:18:15.000 Yeah, he could probably grow one mean, gait mustache.

01:18:19.000 Oh yeah.

01:18:21.000 Do we have the overlay of him?

01:18:22.000 We're getting it pulled up.

01:18:23.000 Alright, we're gonna pull up the overlay of Pete Buttgig.

01:18:26.000 And by the way, I know this isn't a debate night.

01:18:28.000 This is a non-event.

01:18:29.000 In case people are tuning in going, why aren't you showing more of it?

01:18:31.000 They've said zero.

01:18:33.000 There's no way to fact check nothing.

01:18:35.000 Look at that!

01:18:36.000 Look at that!

01:18:39.000 It looks like Pete Buttgig was seated in a paddling chair in Dark Crystal and new Pete Buttgig sucked out half his soul.

01:18:49.000 Did he get a hair transplant?

01:18:51.000 We also have Biden's hair plug.

01:18:52.000 Oh, do we?

01:18:53.000 Yeah, we have a good image of that.

01:18:54.000 Look at that.

01:18:55.000 Looks like an artificial Christmas tree.

01:18:59.000 Hey, don't knock those artificial Christmas trees.

01:19:00.000 I like artificial Christmas trees!

01:19:01.000 Set those up, take them down.

01:19:02.000 Not on my head!

01:19:03.000 All right, let's hear what he has to say in front of his little solar-powered nightlights.

01:19:08.000 Imagine what we could achieve.

01:19:10.000 This coalition we are building this very season, gathering progressives and moderates, independents, and even what I like to call future former Republicans. 0.99

01:19:20.000 You're crazy! 0.95

01:19:23.000 He lost their own viewers at Moderates. 1.00

01:19:27.000 Why the hell would a Republican join the Democrats, the modern Democrats?

01:19:31.000 Could be out of work, want a free handout?

01:19:34.000 No, they're too classy to do that.

01:19:36.000 I don't know.

01:19:36.000 What do we have here?

01:19:37.000 to call out what is good in everything.

01:19:46.000 The ratings are down 48% from 2016.

01:19:49.000 I wonder why.

01:19:52.000 And then, what's funny though is that if we bring up the overlay, CNN tried to claim it was only 26%.

01:19:57.000 And the reason is because they say, well if you add all the cable, then it's actually only 26% if you're comparing it to only the networks from before.

01:20:06.000 No, no, no.

01:20:07.000 Compare the networks to networks, right, which is what matters because those are the people who are at... Same stats.

01:20:11.000 Same stats.

01:20:12.000 It's a 48% drop from 2016.

01:20:14.000 You must have those overlays.

01:20:15.000 Yeah, we're getting them pulled up.

01:20:16.000 Hey, did you guys... I didn't realize this, and Reg, maybe you can fact check it, but my understanding is that the first night of the convention drew 25% less viewers than in 2016.

01:20:29.000 No, no, no.

01:20:29.000 It's 48%.

01:20:30.000 48% lower?

01:20:35.000 He wasn't listening to me at all!

01:20:36.000 That was 30 seconds ago!

01:20:38.000 No!

01:20:39.000 You said it wrong!

01:20:40.000 There's the overlay!

01:20:41.000 You said it wrong!

01:20:42.000 No!

01:20:43.000 It's 48%!

01:20:44.000 That one's wrong!

01:20:45.000 That's the second night!

01:20:47.000 They're down 48% total from 2016.

01:20:49.000 The first night, when they didn't even know how bad it was going to be.

01:20:53.000 So the number you're citing, that's CNN.

01:20:55.000 That's the number if you add all the cable networks, the cable news networks.

01:20:59.000 And the problem is that's not usually the metric because those networks are always running whatever it is politically.

01:21:02.000 All I hear is you're admitting I'm right.

01:21:04.000 No, I literally have it written right here.

01:21:06.000 I said CNN tries to claim it's only 26% and then my lawyer, who's supposed to be on my side, says CNN is right.

01:21:14.000 He's a stelter fan.

01:21:16.000 No, I don't need JFX.

01:21:18.000 Hold on, let's see Turtle's Club Booker.

01:21:23.000 Book your lake laugh!

01:21:25.000 Bernie, don't you laugh, because I got questions for you, like, why does my girlfriend like

01:21:31.000 you more than she likes me?

01:21:33.000 Because she's smarter than you, and that's the obvious answer.

01:21:37.000 Where is Biden?

01:21:39.000 By the way, could you imagine how shocked they would all be if he said to a woman, like, because he's smarter than you, they'd be like, oh!

01:21:46.000 How could you ever insinuate that a man is smarter than a woman in a mushroom cut? 1.00

01:21:53.000 And I actually do think Klobuchar is probably smarter than all of them, I'm not going to lie.

01:21:55.000 So we do have the CNN overlay.

01:21:56.000 It looks like the first night of 2020 was down 25%.

01:21:59.000 But again, they're using the number, adding up all cable.

01:22:03.000 That's what matters, is you need to compare ABC, NBC, CBS to ABC, NBC, CBS.

01:22:08.000 They're trying to compare specifically ABC, NBC, CBS, MSNBC, CNBC.

01:22:12.000 And that's the point, is like every other objective, well I don't want to say objective, but most news outlets, and using a consistent comparison, it was down 48%, and they're trying to do the cable comparison.

01:22:21.000 Hold on, I want to hear what Klobuchar has to say, because she's a cut-up.

01:22:24.000 It goes to not only his kindness for calling me and being a mentor, but it also goes to how much he cares about our government and what people are saying.

01:22:30.000 A lot of people talking about him.

01:22:31.000 And that even when he's at home at night, he's watching and he cares.

01:22:34.000 I'm really excited for his speech.

01:22:35.000 But Amy, we all want to know, did your mother watch the speech?

01:22:41.000 Yes, that's what everyone wants to know about the potential leader of the free world.

01:22:46.000 Everyone wants to know, does your mother make good potato salad? 0.97

01:22:50.000 Why do I get the impression everybody we see talk they hate each other?

01:22:56.000 They just pretended?

01:22:58.000 No, I think that's probably likely at all of politics.

01:23:03.000 And I mean that all of them hate Cory Booker.

01:23:06.000 Did you see his fake laugh face?

01:23:07.000 Like he's losing his angel virginity. 0.91

01:23:10.000 Like he's losing his angel virginity.

01:23:14.000 Look at all!

01:23:18.000 That happened a long time ago.

01:23:19.000 It did happen a long time ago.

01:23:20.000 Look at all of them.

01:23:21.000 Jeez guys, read a newspaper.

01:23:25.000 Chief Paleface.

01:23:26.000 And by the way, that's the guy who's going to be the gun czar, Vado O'Rourke.

01:23:30.000 Good luck with that after you've just had the John Brown Socialist Gun Club. 0.57

01:23:34.000 You have more liberals buying guns than ever before because they're afraid of their own looters and rioters and for some reason white supremacists.

01:23:40.000 And then you have more first-time gun buyers than ever.

01:23:42.000 And what happened?

01:23:43.000 Did she get her hair cut by that vacuum suction hair cutter in Wayne's World?

01:23:48.000 What happened with that right now?

01:23:50.000 Give me the Legend of Zelda, Link to the Past, Sideburn action going on here.

01:23:55.000 It's like everyone here has deliberately had a crappy haircut just because they want everyone to know that they can't go to a barber because they take COVID seriously.

01:24:02.000 I think Blinkin's got the best haircut.

01:24:04.000 I do appreciate how most of them aren't even pretending to act like they're interested in being here.

01:24:09.000 Like, if you look at their faces, they're like, alright, is this over?

01:24:11.000 Especially Klobuchar. 0.88

01:24:12.000 She's like, really, guys?

01:24:14.000 Kamala?

01:24:15.000 Really?

01:24:15.000 Biden?

01:24:17.000 And you know what's worse than being on a Zoom call?

01:24:17.000 Really, guys?

01:24:20.000 Watching someone else's Zoom call.

01:24:23.000 Why are we watching 20 Zoom calls in one night?

01:24:26.000 This is horrible.

01:24:27.000 This is broadcasting.

01:24:27.000 Stay tuned!

01:24:28.000 After this, Bill Clinton will jerk off on Skype. 0.98

01:24:30.000 Is Bernard O'Rourke just, like, in a local library? 0.96

01:24:32.000 He's like, guys, I need this.

01:24:36.000 Now he was roleplaying for his OnlyFans account.

01:24:39.000 He's like, oh, let me stop by and endorse this.

01:24:41.000 Eh, you know, if I endorse this guy on the Zoom call, he's going to make me gun czar.

01:24:45.000 I don't know.

01:24:46.000 Buttons up his shirt.

01:24:47.000 I'm a librarian.

01:24:48.000 Buttons up his shirt, rides off on a skateboard.

01:24:50.000 Whee! 1.00

01:24:50.000 Radical! 1.00

01:24:51.000 And my faith in this country is reflective.

01:24:53.000 Yeah, and he's got his graph calculator.

01:24:54.000 He's like, look, I spelled boobs.

01:24:57.000 Anyway, endorse Joe Biden because he's what you got.

01:24:59.000 But he's so handsome.

01:25:02.000 And their urgency in the campaign that they're running and the administration that they're going to lead.

01:25:07.000 Oh! 0.60

01:25:07.000 This is a pre-taped Zoom call! 0.60

01:25:10.000 Did you hear that?

01:25:11.000 This is a pre-taped Zoom call!

01:25:14.000 Not only can Biden not be trusted, they can't trust people just endorsing Biden on a Zoom call!

01:25:21.000 Did you see that cut?

01:25:24.000 Look, each one of them has a little vomit can. 1.00

01:25:27.000 Look at that!

01:25:28.000 They didn't even try to hide it!

01:25:31.000 It's like 3 in the afternoon!

01:25:34.000 No, I'm in Brazil.

01:25:37.000 It's the same time zone.

01:25:38.000 You're just going down south.

01:25:40.000 Oh, dang it.

01:25:41.000 I'm in Tana.

01:25:42.000 I'm in Tana, Brazil.

01:25:43.000 I'm in the USSR.

01:25:45.000 Well, okay, we buy it.

01:25:46.000 All right, Bertie, you're off the hook.

01:25:48.000 Score one for the burn man.

01:25:51.000 And all of us, whether you're progressives, whether you're moderates, Whether you're moderates, by the way, speaking of moderates,

01:25:58.000 you would think, go ahead.

01:26:00.000 Ain't nobody in the Democratic Party a moderate anymore.

01:26:03.000 Do you know that Biden's lead over Trump dropped by two points after he announced Kamala Harris?

01:26:08.000 I don't even think he was leading to begin with.

01:26:13.000 But the fact that even the fake polls haven't gone... Hey, look!

01:26:16.000 It's the guy who banned Slurpees! 0.99

01:26:17.000 Yeah, it's the guy who wanted to pat down a bunch of black people. 0.99

01:26:20.000 Oh, he did. 0.99

01:26:21.000 He did pat down a bunch of black people. 0.98

01:26:23.000 He's off hours. 0.98

01:26:25.000 It's the guy who shows $300 million not enough.

01:26:28.000 It's all about people.

01:26:31.000 And the two people running for president couldn't be more different. 0.68

01:26:36.000 Slit mouth. 1.00

01:26:40.000 Are they talking about Kamala versus Joe?

01:26:50.000 You just ran a montage of fire hoses and German shepherds and MLK and you said that Donald Trump looks backwards.

01:26:58.000 No, Donald, I guess you could, in a manner of speaking, he looks backwards to January or February when black unemployment was at an all-time Technically that's a little bit of a glance in your rearview mirror.

01:27:09.000 Careful! 0.81

01:27:10.000 Shitty mayors may be larger than they appear.

01:27:13.000 It is unreal to me that they're talking about ones looking back.

01:27:17.000 All Joe Biden has done is run on the platform of racial division and hatred.

01:27:22.000 And by the way, he was the guy sowing those seeds back then!

01:27:27.000 So look at this thing at the bottom here.

01:27:30.000 Worth $55 billion per Forbes.

01:27:32.000 These are the things you've got to put on here, right?

01:27:33.000 Tammy Duckworth, you've got talking about her veteran history, her Purple Heart.

01:27:37.000 You've got this guy.

01:27:38.000 Hey, I just want to make sure at the end of this, I want to remind everyone that this guy was running for the Democratic presidential ticket and he's still hoarding $55 billion.

01:27:47.000 But don't worry, he's going to give everyone else's billions away, especially you middle class.

01:27:52.000 We're going to give it all away.

01:27:53.000 Just trust him.

01:27:54.000 The same part that wants to get money out of politics.

01:27:56.000 Hold on, let me see what he has to say.

01:27:58.000 say.

01:27:59.000 Before I ran for mayor, I spent 20 years running a business I started from scratch.

01:28:05.000 So I want to ask small business owners and their employees one question.

01:28:10.000 And it's a question for everyone.

01:28:13.000 Would you rehire or work for someone who ran your business into the ground?

01:28:19.000 And who always does what's best for him or her?

01:28:22.000 He is quite literally describing the only thing we know about Joe Biden's policy is that you should have a never-ending shutdown.

01:28:29.000 Would you vote again for the guy who shut your business down and ran it into the crowd?

01:28:34.000 They're making the case for President Donald Trump.

01:28:37.000 They're so tone deaf.

01:28:38.000 You could not reach out.

01:28:42.000 To an audience that would hate you more than small business owners right now!

01:28:47.000 De Blasio from New York City!

01:28:52.000 14,000!

01:28:52.000 14,000 empty apartments in New York City!

01:28:54.000 There aren't 14,000 billionaires on the list!

01:28:57.000 Let alone Manhattan! 0.95

01:28:59.000 They've left because you've screwed them! 0.97

01:29:01.000 The only thing they left were some plywood boards up on their business and some wire that was too small for a mouth. 0.97

01:29:07.000 I cannot believe it.

01:29:08.000 This guy just called out to small business owners saying, would you rehire Donald Trump?

01:29:12.000 Call out to anyone.

01:29:13.000 Like, call out to the Honduran caravan.

01:29:15.000 Call out to Cardi B's Instagram followers.

01:29:18.000 Don't try and call small business owners to the floor.

01:29:22.000 Bloomberg?

01:29:23.000 Wait so I guess what he's saying is if you want to hire a business owner hire the guy who's a career politician who's made less money as a private job than I'm sure Barron Trump's lemonade stand when he was nine.

01:29:34.000 Who would force all businesses to shut down indefinitely except for the businesses that he would force at gunpoint to double the testing somehow.

01:29:40.000 Are they actively trying to lose?

01:29:43.000 Like that's what all I'm seeing is that they're actively trying to lose.

01:29:45.000 Yeah, you know what, I wonder, I'm not a conspiratorial guy, but is Joe Biden pulling a Jake LaMotta at this point?

01:29:51.000 Let me hear what he has to say.

01:29:52.000 What a joke.

01:29:53.000 Ooh, that was some acting.

01:29:54.000 What a joke.

01:29:54.000 something he's incessantly talking about doing, but in the last three and a half years he

01:30:01.000 hasn't done anything. What a joke.

01:30:04.000 Ooh, that was some acting.

01:30:08.000 What a joke. It's like he couldn't get John Stossel's Give Me a Break because it's patented.

01:30:14.000 Yeah.

01:30:15.000 What a joke.

01:30:17.000 What a, what a, what a palooka. 0.93

01:30:20.000 Was that good?

01:30:21.000 I can do it again.

01:30:21.000 What a joke.

01:30:22.000 What a joke, guys.

01:30:24.000 Get me from the side this time. 0.94

01:30:25.000 What a joke, right, fellow small business owners and Negroes? 1.00

01:30:30.000 Trying to tell the difference between me and a guppy? 0.93

01:30:32.000 What a joke.

01:30:33.000 I don't know.

01:30:34.000 Can I?

01:30:35.000 I mean, they don't give you a pass at all, man.

01:30:37.000 I would stay away from the word Negro.

01:30:40.000 Far, far away.

01:30:41.000 Well, I didn't say it, I was quoting him.

01:30:42.000 Yeah, see, it's character work.

01:30:44.000 Character work.

01:30:46.000 I told you that my mom says Negroes, right? 0.99

01:30:47.000 She said it for a long time when she moved here because she's French.

01:30:50.000 And she was trying to say the less offensive thing.

01:30:52.000 And so it's even worse when she's foreign because, like, you know they assume she's some, like, Eastern Promises, Russian Mafia kind of thing. 0.97

01:30:59.000 Look, there's a bunch of Negroes over there. 1.00

01:31:02.000 No, she didn't say that. 0.84

01:31:03.000 You can't call them that. 0.97

01:31:04.000 Well, they're negroes. 1.00

01:31:06.000 No, she did say that.

01:31:07.000 She's like, uh, Denzel Washington, you know, for me, like, he's, people, like, that's the thing.

01:31:11.000 It doesn't matter, white or negro, he's a very good-looking guy.

01:31:14.000 You're like, oh my god, mom, stop that. 1.00

01:31:17.000 Stop being what you are.

01:31:20.000 Leaders who will bring integrity and stability, sanity and competence back to the White House.

01:31:27.000 Competence!

01:31:27.000 He said sanity.

01:31:28.000 Competence!

01:31:31.000 I feel like we're watching a hostage video with every single one of these.

01:31:33.000 They've got their hands tied behind this camera. 1.00

01:31:35.000 What was this shit? 1.00

01:31:38.000 Was it Judd Nelson from Breakfast Club? 1.00

01:31:42.000 He's expecting Wham! 0.56

01:31:43.000 to start playing.

01:31:43.000 Don't you!

01:31:48.000 I don't know if Bloomberg can.

01:31:50.000 I bet that was really funny.

01:31:52.000 I'd like a cabinet position.

01:31:59.000 I don't know if Bloomberg can.

01:32:03.000 I bet that was really funny.

01:32:05.000 By the way, don't you like the subtle messaging where they show all blue states?

01:32:09.000 It's a fantasy, it'll never happen.

01:32:11.000 I'm working on you.

01:32:12.000 While we're dreaming.

01:32:13.000 Hi, my name is Bridget Harrington and I'm 13 years old.

01:32:16.000 Brainwashed!

01:32:17.000 She doesn't seem to be brainwashed.

01:32:18.000 Oh, did you see he just looked off camera at the guy with the gun?

01:32:21.000 Daddy, please don't beat me!

01:32:24.000 Don't you mess up, boy!

01:32:26.000 Chozen over there, I'll sniff you, kid. 1.00

01:32:28.000 It's just his black adoptive mother snapping a belt. 0.99

01:32:35.000 He's got a stutter? 0.99

01:32:36.000 Oh, he's got a stutter? He's got a stutter. He's got a stutter.

01:32:42.000 He's got a stutter. It's so mean. This is so mean to do to a kid. It's mean man. Listen, if people are going to say it's 0.60

01:32:56.000 mean that we're saying... It is so mean to parade a kid out.

01:32:59.000 Yeah. Because it's like they said oh we need some... We don't have enough pre-recorded zoom calls. Bernie really screwed

01:33:04.000 the pooch by uh by broadcast it.

01:33:06.000 Broadcasting it from a summer beach home number four so we could see the afternoon. Can we go grab some more endorsements

01:33:11.000 from the Make-A-Wish Foundation?

01:33:13.000 Man, what the hell is going on?

01:33:15.000 I'm Braden and I'm being used.

01:33:18.000 No, no, no, guys.

01:33:19.000 There's a very strategic reason he's being used.

01:33:21.000 Hold on a second, Reg the Bandit can please inform me because I want to hurt myself.

01:33:26.000 So there's a pretty specific reason they're having a kid with a stutter on.

01:33:29.000 They're saying the talking point for Biden with his gaffes and his chronic, you know, misspeaking from the Democratic Party is that he has a stutter.

01:33:39.000 I just sent you a Newsweek piece that you know is Giving apologies, saying, oh, you know, it's because Biden has a stutter.

01:33:51.000 CNN ran a puff piece saying Biden opens up about stuttering and offers advice to young people who stutter.

01:33:57.000 And so that's that's a talking point that you never heard.

01:34:00.000 You know, in past elections, everyone just laughed and said, oh, yeah, Joe Biden, he's always making gaps, whatever.

01:34:05.000 But as it's gotten worse and worse now, it's like, no, no, no.

01:34:08.000 He has a disability.

01:34:09.000 So you cannot.

01:34:11.000 You can't make fun of it.

01:34:11.000 That started this year.

01:34:14.000 I've never heard of a stutter causing you to make up places that don't exist, and lie about meetings with people you've never seen in person.

01:34:22.000 There are amazing and incredible people who have stutters who make it through, but they don't have these kinds of gaffes. 0.90

01:34:27.000 You can't go through... Jon Stossel has a stutter, and he had his Eustachian tube crushed like the kid in It's a Wonderful Life from that damn pharmacist by that wrestler guy, and he still made a go of it!

01:34:38.000 I mean, look, but that kid's not forgetting where he is. 0.90

01:34:41.000 I mean, he knows exactly where he is.

01:34:42.000 He's in a prison, on a studio, inside of another prison, being told to say these things.

01:34:46.000 I mean... Oh my gosh.

01:34:48.000 That just, like, I feel so... Is it not so transparent?

01:34:52.000 All they're talking about is, our strength is our diversity.

01:34:55.000 Here's a lady with a biotic leg. 1.00

01:34:57.000 Hey, look, here's someone with progeria. 0.97

01:35:00.000 Kid, turn up your stutter.

01:35:02.000 Exploding the key with a stutter. 0.98

01:35:04.000 Yeah, and are we supposed to think that Donald Trump is like beating disabled kids? 0.96

01:35:08.000 Like what?

01:35:08.000 Like, oh no, Joe Biden's pro-disabled kid.

01:35:11.000 Yeah, and by the way, keep in mind that this is the party who said that Sarah, right, they should have aborted the baby with a disability and also mocked the Santorums for their baby.

01:35:19.000 Yeah, same party.

01:35:20.000 The same party who actually support eugenics, right? 0.91

01:35:22.000 They believe that abortion should be an option if, not only do they believe it should be an option if your baby has defects, but they believe in sex-selective abortion, like China. 0.54

01:35:32.000 These are his granddaughters?

01:35:33.000 This is his granddaughters?

01:35:35.000 These are the granddaughters The briars that have half chocolate have vanilla 0.99

01:35:40.000 OH MY GOD All the people were talking about what ice cream he likes that he drools down his bib.

01:35:48.000 I told you not to get the Haggins, Dad. 0.97

01:35:51.000 Give my money to those Mexicans. 1.00

01:35:55.000 I only want Breyers. 0.96

01:35:57.000 Is this the Kroger brand? 0.99

01:35:59.000 Oh, I shit myself again. 0.99

01:36:00.000 Oh, Dad. 0.99

01:36:02.000 Stephen, what's wrong with your impression is that he's feeding himself.

01:36:05.000 Yeah, that's right.

01:36:06.000 That's right, it's just Jill going...

01:36:08.000 He's like...

01:36:10.000 He has good looking grandkids though, good looking family.

01:36:14.000 Yeah, lovely.

01:36:16.000 Guys, don't worry...

01:36:17.000 A vote for Biden is a vote for more white people.

01:36:20.000 So that's the DNC motto.

01:36:24.000 Keep it up, guys.

01:36:24.000 We're in favor of minorities, except for Presidents.

01:36:27.000 I wonder how Joe Biden would treat them at the Thanksgiving table if they started just reciting Cardi B lyrics.

01:36:33.000 Alright, who are you?

01:36:35.000 Are you Cardi B? 1.00

01:36:36.000 Hey Grandpa, pass the potatoes, my wet pussy! 1.00

01:36:40.000 That's not what we do here. 1.00

01:36:41.000 Rub it on her face like a credit card! 1.00

01:36:43.000 You're disgusting. 1.00

01:36:44.000 You're a disgusting granddaughter. 1.00

01:36:46.000 I am so ashamed. 1.00

01:36:50.000 That's not what we do here, family.

01:36:52.000 We only do that for votes.

01:36:57.000 By the way, how much do you want to bet that that kid knew he was going to be on national television, so he worked really hard to clean up his stutter, showed up, went through the run-through, and was like, no, no, no, no, no, no.

01:37:05.000 When we first met you, go back to that.

01:37:07.000 They definitely used the worst take.

01:37:08.000 Yeah, they absolutely used the worst take.

01:37:11.000 Yeah, they kept having him retake it until he got tired.

01:37:14.000 Like, here, here, have a little whiskey, it helps loosen the nerves.

01:37:17.000 Good, whiskey's good.

01:37:19.000 How's that stutter doing?

01:37:20.000 Gosh, so manipulative.

01:37:22.000 Is it still, is it still, is your stutter, is it still okay enough to make an endorsement, but bad enough that we can't tell?

01:37:30.000 He should at least use an adult, man.

01:37:33.000 He was an adult with a stutter.

01:37:35.000 Guys, I appreciate, though, that all the photos I've seen of Joe Biden tonight, the ones that they've selected, he has no mustard or ketchup stains, which is a big thing for him.

01:37:44.000 It's an improvement.

01:37:45.000 That's because they actually just cover him in cellophane like Greek families with their furniture. 1.00

01:37:49.000 Oh, hey!

01:37:52.000 What happened to my briars?

01:37:53.000 Hey, what the African American's talking about? 1.00

01:37:55.000 Hey, look, it's Steph.

01:37:57.000 Hey, they all look like me.

01:38:00.000 It's a good-looking family though.

01:38:02.000 How are those ten-year-olds voting?

01:38:04.000 I'm gonna get that robe for good voting. 0.85

01:38:06.000 What the hell are they talking about?

01:38:09.000 Someone get the Hot Twins beers because they're teetotalers. 1.00

01:38:15.000 One, because the social injustice is around the corner.

01:38:18.000 Oh, social injustice is around the corner.

01:38:20.000 Drink! Drink!

01:38:21.000 What the hell are they talking about?

01:38:22.000 Someone get the Hot Twins beers because they're teetotalers. 1.00

01:38:24.000 You need more beers?

01:38:25.000 Okay.

01:38:26.000 Me too.

01:38:27.000 Do you know where they are?

01:38:28.000 Do you know where they are?

01:38:29.000 The kids are trying to escape, guys.

01:38:31.000 Is it just me or does husband and wife look like brother and sister?

01:38:33.000 Do you know what the president's job is?

01:38:42.000 Do you know what the President's job is?

01:38:47.000 I'm asking for a friend.

01:38:47.000 Please tell me.

01:38:49.000 Joe asked me to ask this.

01:38:55.000 If you could create the ideal person to lead this country, what characteristics would that person have?

01:39:03.000 A very kind personality.

01:39:07.000 What would you like to see taken care of?

01:39:11.000 How do you feel about the man sniffing your scalp?

01:39:15.000 Let's ask a child. 0.91

01:39:17.000 What are we doing?

01:39:18.000 They wouldn't let Joe Biden alone in the room with those kids.

01:39:23.000 I guarantee you.

01:39:24.000 They would not let Joe Biden alone in the room with those kids.

01:39:26.000 They know exactly how that would go.

01:39:27.000 Be like, hey, oh, look at the, you come back from a cruise?

01:39:30.000 No, no, when he's down, I just have my hair, it's, oh, I have, my daughter did one time

01:39:36.000 on the cruise and...

01:39:39.000 Oh.

01:39:42.000 Steph looks like he's under duress.

01:39:44.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:39:47.000 Yes, beers for Hodge twins!

01:39:48.000 Oh yeah!

01:39:53.000 Alright, once we pour the beer, I think we're going to do a truth-according-to-Smooth Manny segment.

01:39:57.000 I gotta warn y'all, when I get alcohol, it's going to turn into a hot mic.

01:40:03.000 Just careful.

01:40:04.000 Just be ready to turn it off.

01:40:05.000 You guys can say some words that Quarterback can kind of get away with.

01:40:09.000 Yeah, we need to pour it in their mugs there, because we don't want to be sued by the Bach.

01:40:13.000 Is this a new mug?

01:40:15.000 It's got juice in it, man.

01:40:17.000 Y'all need some new mugs, man.

01:40:18.000 Yeah, you didn't even check their mug for juice.

01:40:20.000 Oh, no.

01:40:21.000 No, no, no.

01:40:22.000 Don't put that in there.

01:40:23.000 Oh, that's going to be a real hot mug if you pour some Jameson in there.

01:40:27.000 She's really pretty, though, Steph Curry's wife.

01:40:29.000 And Steph Curry's a really good-looking guy, and you know what?

01:40:31.000 They seem pretty sharp.

01:40:32.000 It's just a shame to see them effectively being whored out on this to the highest bidder right now.

01:40:37.000 Because you know what?

01:40:38.000 Guess what?

01:40:39.000 The reason this is something that I actually think would connect with most Americans is because it goes against everything the Democratic Party stands for.

01:40:46.000 Family, husband and wife, raising children, traditional gender roles. 0.97

01:40:53.000 Here's the big question.

01:40:54.000 Yeah, what is it?

01:40:55.000 How much of your time and energy are you willing to devote to elect Joe Biden?

01:41:02.000 Cause it's gonna take a lot of energy.

01:41:04.000 For me, it's this evening.

01:41:05.000 Well, you put a gun to me and I still ain't voting for him.

01:41:10.000 Is this where they do it?

01:41:12.000 This year, we're gonna elect a president who's honest, experienced, and intelligent.

01:41:18.000 Well, one out of three ain't bad.

01:41:21.000 Experienced, that's for sure. 1.00

01:41:23.000 Wow, did she just call Trump stupid? 1.00

01:41:24.000 Oh no, what are we gonna do? 1.00

01:41:30.000 One of my favorite things Joe Biden says... Is to re-prompt her!

01:41:34.000 She's also blinking SOS.

01:41:36.000 ...for your commitment to family.

01:41:38.000 So, who better to introduce our nominee Joe Biden than his children?

01:41:45.000 Uh, someone qualified?

01:41:46.000 Hunter!

01:41:47.000 Hunter!

01:41:48.000 Bring him out! 0.97

01:41:49.000 You're like a TV host.

01:41:50.000 Joe Biden is our dad.

01:41:51.000 How long is he going to be talking for?

01:41:53.000 I thought that was going to go on for way longer.

01:41:54.000 We want to tell you what kind of president our dad will be.

01:41:55.000 Oh, we've already been on for two hours?

01:41:57.000 He will be tough and honest.

01:41:59.000 Karen.

01:42:00.000 Forgetful.

01:42:00.000 If they had him say honest, he looked like he was wincing when he said it.

01:42:03.000 He was like, honest!

01:42:04.000 Even when you don't want to hear it, they never let you down.

01:42:08.000 His left eye is not even moving.

01:42:10.000 That's because he threw up in his mouth a little bit.

01:42:12.000 You can never lean on.

01:42:13.000 He'll beam with pride every time you succeed.

01:42:16.000 He'll make your grandkids feel that what they've got to say matters.

01:42:21.000 He'll treat everyone with respect, no matter who you are.

01:42:24.000 He'll get up no matter how many times he's been knocked down.

01:42:27.000 He'll be the worst enemy any bully ever saw.

01:42:31.000 He'll be the best friend you ever had.

01:42:33.000 He'll love you with all of his heart.

01:42:35.000 He'll be the first man in the White House to put it in a reverse mortgage.

01:42:41.000 Selick is so convincing.

01:42:44.000 Will he raise America like he raised Hunter?

01:42:51.000 I think so.

01:42:52.000 Somebody take this kid off my back, I'm out of breath!

01:42:56.000 Put it right around front.

01:42:56.000 hear his strong voice just like it was yesterday.

01:43:02.000 He is smoking!

01:43:05.000 She is, yeah.

01:43:06.000 She's a good-looking lady. 1.00

01:43:08.000 And if he was here, we're pretty sure we'd know what he'd say.

01:43:13.000 Burger! 0.54

01:43:13.000 Burger, burger, burger! 0.54

01:43:15.000 You wanted to get those...

01:43:17.000 We gotta get that back up!

01:43:19.000 UGH! UGH! 1.00

01:43:21.000 UGH! 0.97

01:43:23.000 ...in moments both public and private.

01:43:25.000 He's the father...

01:43:27.000 Now they cut to something that was in front of a live audience at some point.

01:43:29.000 Because they wanted it to seem like, you know, people care.

01:43:31.000 My father, my hero, Joe Biden.

01:43:35.000 He couldn't sell out the back room at Michael's.

01:43:40.000 What?

01:43:40.000 The craft store.

01:43:41.000 It's over.

01:43:41.000 Cut to black.

01:43:42.000 Oh.

01:43:43.000 Oh my gosh. 0.99

01:43:44.000 Gotta put the black people in there. 1.00

01:43:46.000 That's a different cut to black.

01:43:47.000 What if in this montage, there was just a slow-mo of Cardi being this... And they cut right before the... cut.

01:43:57.000 Which by the way, if you think I'm being vulgar, people who don't know Cardi, that's the person he chose to give the scoop to.

01:44:03.000 Yeah, it's the number one song in the world.

01:44:04.000 The exclusive.

01:44:06.000 That's the number one song in the world?

01:44:08.000 Top 100, number one!

01:44:09.000 Why else do you think Ben Shapiro was reading it? 1.00

01:44:11.000 Well, kids drive to music industries, so... Yeah, and they're all dumb. 1.00

01:44:14.000 Yeah! 1.00

01:44:15.000 Yeah, apparently kids too.

01:44:16.000 Apparently it's very different from my childhood.

01:44:18.000 At that point, we were still into creepy crawlers and Stretch Armstrong.

01:44:22.000 And those arms, like, they stick to the wall?

01:44:25.000 I thought it was naughty because, like, I listened to that song, Naked, on the Spice Girls B-side of the cassette tape.

01:44:30.000 I was like, oh my gosh, the Spice Girls are singing about being naked.

01:44:33.000 Yeah, my wife's naked! 1.00

01:44:36.000 And then on the album cover, you could see their midriff. 0.99

01:44:39.000 Yeah, you could see their midriff. 0.64

01:44:41.000 Then it was like Salt-N-Pepa.

01:44:42.000 That was too much.

01:44:42.000 We were like, push it.

01:44:43.000 Push it good.

01:44:45.000 Push it real good. 1.00

01:44:46.000 Now it's just like, you know, it's just like... Cut my asshole! 1.00

01:44:50.000 When I came out of my boyhood! 1.00

01:44:51.000 Cut my asshole! 1.00

01:44:53.000 Cut my asshole! 1.00

01:44:54.000 No, I'm not! 1.00

01:44:54.000 That's not even an exaggeration. 1.00

01:44:55.000 I'm not making it up.

01:44:56.000 There's an Instagram video.

01:44:57.000 I can't even show it.

01:44:58.000 An Instagram video.

01:45:00.000 You're obsessed with this song.

01:45:01.000 Don't make us bring up the lyrics.

01:45:02.000 No, it's in this song!

01:45:04.000 She has like 200 million followers.

01:45:05.000 That's why he reached out to her.

01:45:07.000 And then she's like, yo, when you clean... Again, for people there, if your kids are in the room, sorry, this is what's actually... But you know what?

01:45:12.000 They've already heard this song. 1.00

01:45:13.000 She's like, yo, when you clean your asshole, you gotta go in. 1.00

01:45:16.000 But I just came out of the boiler room. 1.00

01:45:17.000 Look at my pans, labyrinth, nails. 1.00

01:45:19.000 I cut my asshole. 1.00

01:45:20.000 Y'all gotta be careful not to cut your... And she's talking about that. 1.00

01:45:23.000 Asshole. 1.00

01:45:24.000 She has problems wiping her ass. 1.00

01:45:26.000 Them damn nails she got. 1.00

01:45:28.000 Gotta treat your ass all right like you in church! 1.00

01:45:31.000 I mean, it's instructional. 1.00

01:45:36.000 Thought Democrats hated family.

01:45:38.000 Yeah.

01:45:39.000 Generally.

01:45:40.000 You see, you see... They're lying.

01:45:42.000 That's the thing though. 0.99

01:45:44.000 Yeah, they only hate it when it's... black families. 1.00

01:45:48.000 That's true. 0.99

01:45:49.000 Yeah, they lose a voting base.

01:45:51.000 Right?

01:45:54.000 Why do I care?

01:45:55.000 For the first time.

01:45:57.000 The job is a lot more than a paycheck.

01:45:59.000 It's about dignity.

01:46:01.000 Dignity?

01:46:02.000 Even Barack doesn't want to listen to Joe Biden.

01:46:04.000 not a father and it was a lesson he would never forget the job is a lot more

01:46:10.000 than a paycheck it's about dignity Joe Biden was handled the task 0.99

01:46:27.000 It's like, don't talk to me like that, black man. 1.00

01:46:30.000 When is he supposed to actually speak? 1.00

01:46:32.000 Talk to me like that, black man. 1.00

01:46:52.000 Hello, my name is Joe Biden. 0.94

01:46:57.000 We've only done one one-minute commercial break.

01:46:59.000 We have like all these commercial breaks.

01:47:00.000 We have all these sketches.

01:47:01.000 Let's get him in.

01:47:02.000 Yeah, he's supposed to be speaking now.

01:47:03.000 Biden is supposed to be speaking right now.

01:47:06.000 Maybe we can, uh, let's wait for Biden and see what happens.

01:47:10.000 And then, you know what, if he's so bad, then you guys can vote.

01:47:12.000 Vote, send, and we'll have 2CuteMaddie bring up the, uh, the overlays of votes in the chat

01:47:16.000 who are watching at the blaze if you want a truth according to a smooth mani segment

01:47:20.000 or to hear Biden finish his speech and our commentary.

01:47:23.000 Yeah.

01:47:24.000 It allows that child to become an object of ridicule.

01:47:27.000 When his teacher mimicked him and Joe ran home from school, his mother drove him back.

01:47:32.000 Man, they're really pulling, dragging this out.

01:47:33.000 Are they gonna try and create a whole backstory with a stutter now?

01:47:36.000 Is this what they're gonna try and do?

01:47:38.000 Back when he was a kid and he had a stutter, which is really inappropriate to mock him about.

01:47:45.000 You saw that kid in the pink shirt with the whale logo, right?

01:47:47.000 He stuttered too!

01:47:49.000 If you mock one stutterer in Joe Biden, you're mocking that kid who stutters!

01:47:53.000 Yeah, they just tried to explain his weird behavior.

01:47:58.000 Making a T for it.

01:48:01.000 She make me look her in the eye, look at me.

01:48:04.000 Remember Joey, you're the smartest boy in that class.

01:48:10.000 She loved you, Joe!

01:48:12.000 Sorry, Joey!

01:48:14.000 What is this?

01:48:16.000 Yep.

01:48:16.000 There it is!

01:48:18.000 There it is!

01:48:18.000 They're doing it!

01:48:20.000 Is this a new thing?

01:48:21.000 Have they ever talked about Joe Biden?

01:48:23.000 No, never.

01:48:23.000 I've never heard of this.

01:48:24.000 I've never heard about this before.

01:48:27.000 And by the way, I still have yet to hear him stutter at all. 0.88

01:48:31.000 I hear him say functionally retarded things. 1.00

01:48:34.000 Why does she want a pool full of black kids? 1.00

01:48:36.000 Because Joe Biden didn't want them to swim. 1.00

01:48:38.000 He voted against that shit. 1.00

01:48:40.000 Don't you remember? 1.00

01:48:40.000 I let kids sit on my lap. 1.00

01:48:42.000 Yeah, if you look closely... He's like, there's black kids in the pool! 0.98

01:48:45.000 If you look closely, it's Biden with a thing of Clorox. 0.97

01:48:50.000 Jesus Christ.

01:48:51.000 I quit the law firm and asked for a job to become a public defender.

01:48:55.000 Is this a biopic?

01:48:57.000 How many black men did he get locked up?

01:49:00.000 He's a public defender? 1.00

01:49:01.000 Well, yeah, just by being shitty. 0.99

01:49:04.000 You know what's funny? 0.96

01:49:05.000 I wanted to leave my law firm where there's accountability, incentives, and a private enterprise, and I wanted to suckle at the government teat where it doesn't really matter if I have an entirely losing record.

01:49:17.000 Well, there it is.

01:49:18.000 The first time.

01:49:19.000 Who does him stuttering?

01:49:20.000 Nobody would hire him.

01:49:21.000 Screw it.

01:49:21.000 I'd just be a public defender.

01:49:23.000 Let's see if in any of these archive footage videos if there's him stuttering.

01:49:26.000 I've never seen him stutter.

01:49:28.000 No, there isn't.

01:49:28.000 I ran.

01:49:29.000 Go ahead.

01:49:30.000 Yeah, I ran the Google Trends on this.

01:49:32.000 So you can see that it literally was just a couple of months

01:49:36.000 ago that it became a thing.

01:49:38.000 The stuttering?

01:49:39.000 This guy was the vice president to the United... He ran for president, what, four times?

01:49:43.000 I'm talking about a guy whose campaign was riddled with scandal back in the 80s, then was forced to shut down, and it never came up that he had a stutter until he walked out like he drank a bucket of salt water and did an interview with Cardi B and couldn't find his way.

01:49:56.000 Like, really?

01:49:58.000 This is what they're doing at the stutter?

01:50:00.000 This is all it is?

01:50:01.000 You know what?

01:50:02.000 This is what happens.

01:50:04.000 When you don't really have, you have an old white guy who really, when your whole campaign, right, your whole strategy at the DNC has been victimhood, has been victim status, right?

01:50:13.000 You need to have a victim card.

01:50:14.000 All right, okay, we got a black, like when Kamala Harris, she first won her seat, they were like, ah, you know what, first black, first Indian.

01:50:18.000 They're like, ah, okay, first black VP. 0.94

01:50:21.000 They go, all right, Pete Buttigieg, gay guy. 0.99

01:50:22.000 All right, Cory Booker, gay guy. 1.00

01:50:24.000 And then they go with Joe Biden, they're like, what do we got? 0.86

01:50:26.000 I don't know, I don't know.

01:50:27.000 And he was like, a stutter!

01:50:30.000 They need something so that they can shield them from criticism.

01:50:33.000 No, we don't dislike you because of your stutter. 1.00

01:50:36.000 We dislike you because you were part of an administration that saw the middle class shrink, barely outpaced inflation, that you supported segregation, you say a bunch of racist, stupid crap, and we know that the rest of the world would be laughing at us. 1.00

01:50:50.000 And I know you say that about Donald Trump, but the truth is Donald Trump is at least the kind of crazy that keeps people on their toes, like the kind of guy you don't really want as a cellmate because you don't know if you're going to wake up the next morning, right? 1.00

01:50:59.000 At least he keeps people honest.

01:51:02.000 Joe Biden would expose us to vulnerabilities that we haven't even imagined yet.

01:51:07.000 He can't take a debate with Donald Trump.

01:51:11.000 We're supposed to believe that he's going to stare down Putin?

01:51:17.000 Look at those dentures back then!

01:51:18.000 Did they zoom white in the photograph?

01:51:25.000 Sorry.

01:51:25.000 Back in the biopic.

01:51:26.000 What we can't have is a president who's capable and doesn't have any disabilities and is the consequence of his own actions.

01:51:33.000 How dare you say that?

01:51:36.000 How long was FDR in a wheelchair?

01:51:37.000 I don't know.

01:51:39.000 Years.

01:51:42.000 Yeah, can someone bring that up?

01:51:43.000 How long he was in a wheelchair?

01:51:45.000 I don't want to misspeak and then talk about a campaign or something.

01:51:49.000 But do you think he was rolling out like, Alright, make sure you tell them about my wheelchair first!

01:51:55.000 That should be first!

01:51:56.000 That should be first!

01:51:57.000 People should announce me!

01:51:58.000 They rebuilt the desk.

01:52:00.000 They rebuilt the desk to cover it up.

01:52:01.000 Yeah, because he wanted to project strength.

01:52:04.000 And Joe Biden is making up a condition that I'm not even sure is really a condition.

01:52:09.000 A stutter is a medical condition that usually involves more than just a stutter.

01:52:14.000 Hmm.

01:52:15.000 It's not like you just stutter. Usually there's some kind of a central nervous issue going on.

01:52:18.000 There's some kind of a tick. Sometimes there's some kind of a comorbidity or some kind of a

01:52:22.000 psychological, psychiatric condition. It's not usually just a stutter. So in other words, Joe

01:52:25.000 Biden, what has come along with the stutter? Is it shingles?

01:52:30.000 Right? Did you not get your TB vaccine or something?

01:52:33.000 So I'm counting a 97 to 1 ratio on Boe to Hunter now.

01:52:40.000 Also it's still about 30 to 1 even showing pictures of Joe Biden compared to Bo Biden.

01:52:47.000 I think Bo's the candidate.

01:52:50.000 For sure, I'm gonna mask.

01:52:53.000 Whatever helps cover up his stutter.

01:52:56.000 Very real stutter.

01:52:58.000 Forged unlikely friendships.

01:53:00.000 With only one.

01:53:00.000 Alright!

01:53:00.000 one. Alright! No! He's not going to do it! He's not going to do it! He's not going to

01:53:07.000 do it! He's not going to do it! He's not going to do it! He's not going to do it! He's not

01:53:14.000 He didn't!

01:53:16.000 Hold on, let me find some... I think I have some info here on the Joe Biden.

01:53:21.000 I don't even know.

01:53:22.000 I write down these thoughts and then I know I'm like that.

01:53:24.000 Hey, how come they haven't showed that quote of him calling someone a dog-faced phony soldier?

01:53:28.000 Yeah.

01:53:28.000 We do have that.

01:53:29.000 Or the clip of the guy he tells to stand up who's actually in a wheelchair.

01:53:33.000 Yeah.

01:53:34.000 We have that?

01:53:34.000 Or asking somebody to do push-ups.

01:53:36.000 Yeah, but nobody's showing that clip on CNN.

01:53:38.000 Or how about this quote?

01:53:39.000 It doesn't matter whether they were deprived as a youth.

01:53:41.000 Talking about black people.

01:53:42.000 It doesn't matter whether or not they're a victim of society. 1.00

01:53:45.000 The end result is they're about to knock my mother on the head with a lead pipe.

01:53:49.000 By the way, I don't think Joe Biden is racist.

01:53:54.000 I don't think Donald Trump is a racist. 1.00

01:53:55.000 I just want to hold him to the same standard, and he's an idiot. 1.00

01:53:57.000 Let's see if he fakes stutters! 1.00

01:53:58.000 Let's see if he fakes stutters!

01:53:58.000 Drink every time he fakes stutters!

01:54:00.000 Left us with this wisdom.

01:54:03.000 Give people light.

01:54:05.000 And they will find the way.

01:54:07.000 Give people light.

01:54:09.000 Those are words for our time.

01:54:11.000 You got a light?

01:54:12.000 Don't hide it under a bushel, you person of color! 1.00

01:54:18.000 Too much anger.

01:54:20.000 Too much fear.

01:54:20.000 Too much division.

01:54:22.000 No shit, Joe. 0.99

01:54:26.000 If you entrust me with the presidency, I will draw on the best of us, not the worst. 1.00

01:54:32.000 I'll be an ally of the light, not the darkness.

01:54:35.000 Did you say the white?

01:54:38.000 I'll be an ally of the whites, not the darkies. 1.00

01:54:40.000 I don't get it, Joe.

01:54:42.000 Make no mistake.

01:54:43.000 United, we can and will overcome this season of darkness in America.

01:54:49.000 Overcome what season of darkness?

01:54:50.000 You're talking about the greatest the country had ever been until you guys shut businesses down and started riots, which you still have yet to c-c-c-c-condemn, Junior.

01:54:59.000 He's talking about Black Lives Matter, that's what he's talking about.

01:55:02.000 The darkness.

01:55:06.000 I accept this nomination for President of the United States of America.

01:55:11.000 Of course you accept it!

01:55:12.000 It's all you've ever wanted!

01:55:13.000 I will be a Democratic candidate.

01:55:15.000 I will be an American president.

01:55:17.000 No you ain't, by definition.

01:55:19.000 Yeah, you have to be.

01:55:21.000 As hard for them as I did for those who did vote for me.

01:55:25.000 No stutter.

01:55:28.000 How does it happen that a stutter completely goes away if it's on prompter and you don't say retarded stuff?

01:55:34.000 Hey, that's not how a stutter works, by the way. 0.54

01:55:38.000 He's stuttering all over that little girl.

01:55:40.000 What a many times he, uh, taped this. 1.00

01:55:46.000 Dammit, Joe, it's the 100th time, Joe! 0.99

01:55:49.000 No, it's a hologram. 1.00

01:55:50.000 It's like Tupac.

01:55:51.000 Yeah, it doesn't have to be live.

01:55:53.000 Nothing else has been live, but they've left the live part. 0.99

01:55:55.000 Dammit, Joe, you can't say darkies! 0.99

01:55:58.000 But they were in the pool! 1.00

01:55:59.000 He was on the teleprompter!

01:56:03.000 Pledged a new deal in a time of massive unemployment, uncertainty, and fear.

01:56:09.000 Stricken by a disease, stricken by a virus, FDR insisted that he would recover and prevail, and he believed America could as well.

01:56:18.000 How did he get that wrong if that was written in front of him?

01:56:21.000 Like, he corrected disease to virus.

01:56:22.000 Does that count as a gaffle? 0.99

01:56:24.000 No, is he really smart where he just has a speechwriter who's an idiot who miswrote and he felt like thinking I was correct? 1.00

01:56:30.000 Do we want to believe that? 1.00

01:56:31.000 Or do we want to believe that he's just an idiot who misspoke? 1.00

01:56:34.000 Not just the privileged few at the top. 1.00

01:56:37.000 Like yourself?

01:56:38.000 Winning for those communities who have known the injustice of a knee on the neck.

01:56:44.000 Oh, come on, man.

01:56:44.000 For all the young people who have known only America... That's like one guy, by the way.

01:56:49.000 All the communities who have known the injustice of, like, that's, if you're really, you need to broaden your horizons of voting demographics.

01:56:56.000 The knee on neck vote is not that coveted.

01:56:59.000 It's not the best guy.

01:57:01.000 You know, no generation ever knows what history will ask of it.

01:57:06.000 All we can ever know is whether we're ready when that moment arrives.

01:57:10.000 You're not ready, Joe.

01:57:11.000 Now history has delivered us to one of the most difficult moments America has ever faced.

01:57:17.000 Not that bad.

01:57:18.000 Four! 0.99

01:57:19.000 But you were saying that in March!

01:57:22.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:57:23.000 They were saying this shit when Trump got elected. 1.00

01:57:26.000 But they were saying it when we had the best economy. 1.00

01:57:28.000 And we'll have that again.

01:57:29.000 Yeah.

01:57:30.000 They're saying it.

01:57:30.000 It's like, now it's kind of true because you guys made it so by shutting down basically the entire economy.

01:57:37.000 And if you would have your way, do it until Bill Gates shows up with his microchip vaccine.

01:57:42.000 I'm joking.

01:57:43.000 But...

01:57:46.000 Windows 98, don't trust him with a TV shot.

01:57:48.000 The point is, Bill Maher, remember he said, oh I hope we have an economy crash, because you know what, at a certain point it's more important.

01:57:56.000 Because the economy was so good, and it is so good, the fundamentals are still so sound, they need to try and drill it into people's heads that there's uncertainty outside of the uncertainty that they've created with their lockdown.

01:58:12.000 People are more confident in the economy than ever.

01:58:14.000 I don't trust Bill Gates trying to kill a virus in human. 1.00

01:58:16.000 He can't even fucking kill him in computer jail. 0.99

01:58:20.000 You have to get McAfee who dumps through a hammock hole. 1.00

01:58:25.000 McAfee is the virus.

01:58:29.000 This will determine what America is going to look like for a long, long time.

01:58:33.000 Character is on the ballot.

01:58:35.000 Compassion is on the ballot.

01:58:37.000 Decency.

01:58:38.000 Science.

01:58:39.000 Democracy.

01:58:40.000 They're all on the ballot.

01:58:41.000 Yes, on the red side.

01:58:42.000 Democracy is the ballot.

01:58:43.000 We are as a nation.

01:58:45.000 Democracy is the ballot.

01:58:46.000 It kind of is.

01:58:48.000 It's like a definition of it.

01:58:50.000 Would you like to have democracy?

01:58:51.000 Vote yes or no.

01:58:53.000 It's in, with, and under the ballot.

01:58:55.000 No rhetoric is needed.

01:58:57.000 Oh good! 1.00

01:58:58.000 Then shut the f**k up! 1.00

01:59:00.000 5 million Americans infected by COVID-19. 1.00

01:59:03.000 Drake!

01:59:04.000 More than 170,000 Americans have died.

01:59:08.000 By far the worst performance of any nation on Earth.

01:59:12.000 Lies! 0.92

01:59:13.000 Lies! 0.92

01:59:14.000 Lies, lies, lies, lies, lies, lies! 0.60

01:59:16.000 Per capita deaths are actually fantastic compared to many countries.

01:59:20.000 And they're significantly better in blue states.

01:59:23.000 In red states, sorry, than blue states.

01:59:24.000 If you look at the worst states as far as COVID deaths, these are states that had severe lockdown measures.

01:59:29.000 And by the way, almost synonymous with horrible nursing home policies because, surprise, surprise, Blue states, huge bloated bureaucratic government is inept, right? 0.95

01:59:39.000 So blue states have done significantly worse as far as deaths per thousand, deaths per million, deaths per capita, but they've also done unbelievably worse as it relates to the unemployment rates and economies.

01:59:50.000 If you look at certain areas of New York right now, 40% unemployment.

01:59:55.000 You can't find that in any red state.

01:59:57.000 I'm sure that you can find him somewhere in some hills with some people who, you know, the hills have eyes or something.

02:00:02.000 But the point is, we're talking about a major state in a major city, okay?

02:00:06.000 So let's just, we're doing worse.

02:00:07.000 No, and by the way, this is something too that CNN lied about.

02:00:10.000 I think Chris Cuomo, I don't even know if we have a clip where he said, wow, why is it that we're, we're actually, our economy is shrinking by 32% and Germany is only 11%.

02:00:18.000 No, dummy! 0.98

02:00:19.000 Germany's economy has actually shrunken more than the United States.

02:00:22.000 It's that we use an annualized rate.

02:00:24.000 So our rate was something like 10 point something percent, while Germany that had more lockdowns and I believe less deaths per capita, I'm not entirely sure, had an 11 percent shrinking of the economy.

02:00:34.000 So how does CNN not know?

02:00:37.000 But that's not what the prompter said.

02:00:39.000 How does CNN not know that you can't compare an annualized rate and a quarter?

02:00:43.000 Because Joe's making it up right now.

02:00:47.000 I'm surprised he's going this long.

02:00:49.000 He's talking about endurance, ain't he?

02:00:53.000 They stuffed smelling salts up his nose.

02:00:57.000 This is practically a marathon for the guy.

02:00:58.000 You know like with Hillary Clinton, they had to stab her with a bazipam-pam like the guy from 310 to Yuma?

02:01:05.000 With him they have to do it with just amphetamines like he's fighting in pride.

02:01:10.000 I see a different America. 1.00

02:01:11.000 You don't see shit, Joe. 0.99

02:01:12.000 One that's generous and strong. 1.00

02:01:14.000 Too many eye lifts.

02:01:14.000 Selfless and humble.

02:01:16.000 It's an America we can rebuild together.

02:01:19.000 You didn't build that!

02:01:21.000 He's gonna kill the virus. 1.00

02:01:24.000 He's gonna kill it. 0.98

02:01:28.000 He's gonna take care of the virus. 1.00

02:01:29.000 I'm gonna kill it! 1.00

02:01:30.000 I saw the deep blue sea! 1.00

02:01:33.000 But if you die, the virus dies with you. 0.80

02:01:36.000 You ate my bird! 0.99

02:01:41.000 Drink.

02:01:43.000 How do you deal with it?

02:01:44.000 Have you noticed this?

02:01:45.000 Nothing.

02:01:46.000 Nothing concrete until we deal with this virus.

02:01:48.000 How will you deal with it?

02:01:48.000 Can we go to his website?

02:01:50.000 Can someone bring up some Joe Biden policy?

02:01:52.000 Anything.

02:01:52.000 How's he going to deal with the virus?

02:01:53.000 All I've heard is that he said he would force private companies to double testing. 0.80

02:02:02.000 By the way, isn't it interesting that they're going to force private companies to double testing, but they're not going to force private delivery services to speed up ballot voting because they want the most incompetent shitheads they can possibly have handling our mail-in votes? 0.76

02:02:16.000 Like, you know what? 0.75

02:02:16.000 Hey, we really want mail-in votes. 0.75

02:02:18.000 Let's enlist the Amazon Prime fans.

02:02:20.000 Let's go to FedEx.

02:02:21.000 Like, no, no, the only one who can handle a job this important is the 13 years losing money running USPS!

02:02:29.000 So Biden's policy on his website is that he wants to strengthen the federal government, specifically the executive, to have a decisive public health response as well as a decisive economic response.

02:02:44.000 And yet in every moment, in every turn in the last six months, has said Trump can't and shouldn't do anything or direct anything.

02:02:50.000 Keep in mind, he said that Donald Trump was xenophobic because of the travel ban, and he said it was mass hysteria.

02:02:54.000 But it says decisive response.

02:02:56.000 What's a decisive response?

02:02:57.000 That's like when people talk about their journey on tantric yoga, right?

02:03:00.000 They're like, oh, and it is all about being present, and your body is entirely releasing energy, and it's about being one with... What are you talking about?

02:03:10.000 You're saying nothing.

02:03:12.000 You look into each other's eyes and pant.

02:03:15.000 What is he saying?

02:03:16.000 Does he say what the decisive policy is?

02:03:19.000 Or just, I want to have a decisive policy!

02:03:22.000 He's talking a whole bunch of nothing.

02:03:28.000 In short, we'll do what we should have done from the very beginning.

02:03:32.000 And what is that?

02:03:33.000 Our current president has failed.

02:03:35.000 Nothing.

02:03:35.000 In his most basic duty to the nation.

02:03:38.000 He's failed to protect us.

02:03:41.000 He's failed to protect America. 1.00

02:03:42.000 Do you mean no major wars, asshole? 1.00

02:03:45.000 Versus more drone strikes on civilians than anyone? 1.00

02:03:49.000 What the fuck is he talking about? 0.97

02:03:53.000 He hasn't protected us? 0.99

02:03:55.000 Up until your voting base rioted, we also had record low crime.

02:04:01.000 We can rebuild it together, though.

02:04:02.000 There's definitely a bunch of progressives burning up.

02:04:05.000 I understand how hard it is to have any hope right now.

02:04:08.000 What?

02:04:09.000 This is the problem with the left.

02:04:10.000 They only have hope in people, right?

02:04:12.000 Some deity.

02:04:13.000 Joe Biden's gonna... And it's just really tough to do when you had that hope in a charismatic person like Barack Obama, who was new, who people thought had good ideas, even though they had the wool pulled over their eyes.

02:04:21.000 But when you have to hope for some transcendent political figure to save you, and instead you get Joe Biden.

02:04:27.000 So that's why it's hard right now, because they don't believe in self-reliance, right?

02:04:33.000 I mean, you guys know about this.

02:04:34.000 You were talking about it when you used to be liberals.

02:04:35.000 They believe that the deck is stacked against them, and it needs to be someone changing the system, and the person changing the system who's going to fix all the problems is the guy who has suckled at the dollars of the system for 40 years.

02:04:48.000 Yeah, all liberals think the government should give you the American dream.

02:04:51.000 Hold on, guys.

02:04:52.000 They zoomed in.

02:04:53.000 They zoomed in.

02:04:54.000 Serious.

02:04:54.000 It's God's children.

02:04:56.000 I mean, he made a dookie in our lives.

02:04:59.000 do you think that on the bottom half of the country he's just swinging his head

02:05:02.000 I don't think he just made doors of opportunity they zoomed in with Elvis so

02:05:08.000 they didn't see his head once again He made it as a man.

02:05:14.000 Right off camera, Joe Biden's going, Do you have to make? 1.00

02:05:17.000 Man, fuck you, Joe! 1.00

02:05:20.000 Stop whispering at me, man! 1.00

02:05:21.000 That's what angers you most about tonight? 1.00

02:05:24.000 This motherfucker's getting all fucking whispering and shit. 1.00

02:05:27.000 He's getting all whispering. 1.00

02:05:31.000 You know, my dad was an honorable, decent man.

02:05:34.000 His dad was an honorable?

02:05:38.000 But he always got back up.

02:05:40.000 I'd like to meet that guy!

02:05:42.000 Sounds like a better guy than you.

02:05:44.000 He used to say, Joey, I don't expect the government to solve my problems, but I sure as hell expect them to understand them. 0.99

02:05:52.000 What the fuck does that mean? 1.00

02:05:57.000 You voted for a fucking Democrat, you're brain dead. 1.00

02:06:01.000 Boy, what's true with the beer, they really are hot money. 1.00

02:06:05.000 Now boys, that's okay, you can use potty mouth, just stay away from these slurps. 1.00

02:06:08.000 I fell for this shit for years! 1.00

02:06:09.000 I once voted for Al fucking Gore! 1.00

02:06:14.000 I was so lost, man! 1.00

02:06:17.000 It's a personal attack, yeah.

02:06:18.000 Dignity.

02:06:19.000 Respect and community.

02:06:22.000 Together we can and will rebuild our economy.

02:06:25.000 And when we do, we'll not only build back, we'll build back better.

02:06:30.000 Like you did under eight years of Obama?

02:06:33.000 A thousand year pay increase!

02:06:35.000 Under Obama, eight years, five thousand, in like two and a half, three years.

02:06:40.000 To every community.

02:06:42.000 With five million new manufacturing and technology jobs.

02:06:45.000 I'll go on the record and say this.

02:06:47.000 If you out there, anyone watching, if you believe that we had a better economy, if you would prefer the economy that existed under Barack Obama at any point than Donald Trump at any point, you're a succubus who is providing nothing of value to society.

02:07:01.000 I mean that.

02:07:02.000 Anyone who is working for a living, anyone who is paying taxes, anyone who is actually paying into the system cannot, logically, cannot objectively say that this economy was better under Barack Obama or even in the same league. 0.99

02:07:16.000 You can say that he liked peeing on Russian prostitutes on the Formica table. 0.98

02:07:20.000 Even though there's no evidence. 0.98

02:07:21.000 You can say you wish that they got him on the Russia collusion, even though there's no evidence.

02:07:24.000 You can say that he's mean.

02:07:25.000 You can say that he tweets too much. 0.97

02:07:27.000 You can say that he eats McDonald's and he drinks Diet Coke and maybe he's... You can say all those things, but you cannot objectively say if you are anything other than a non-contributing shitbag that the economy is not better under Donald Trump for you and your family. 0.95

02:07:45.000 You know what they're gonna call you? 0.98

02:07:45.000 I don't b-b-b-believe you! 0.98

02:07:47.000 You know what they're gonna call you as soon as you finish saying that? 0.99

02:07:51.000 You such a racist. 0.99

02:07:52.000 I know! 0.99

02:07:53.000 I know!

02:07:54.000 He's no Biden.

02:07:56.000 He's still going, man.

02:07:57.000 This is amazing.

02:07:59.000 It's not only a crisis, it's an enormous opportunity.

02:08:04.000 Yeah, you know who told him that?

02:08:05.000 to lead the world in clean energy.

02:08:07.000 By the way, that was a Freudian slip.

02:08:09.000 Don't let any crisis go to waste.

02:08:12.000 This isn't only a crisis that we created, it's an enormous opportunity, we hoped.

02:08:17.000 Yeah, you know who told him that?

02:08:18.000 His friends in the Chinese government.

02:08:21.000 After we burn down all the buildings and businesses, we'll build it back up.

02:08:25.000 I thought he was talking about climate change.

02:08:26.000 I think he actually was.

02:08:27.000 It's like nobody cares. 0.99

02:08:30.000 Why do you keep talking about this clean energy bullshit? 0.99

02:08:33.000 Like everything's gonna be solar and windmills. 0.99

02:08:38.000 Why couldn't it?

02:08:38.000 We're sleeping outside.

02:08:39.000 Another bird, man.

02:08:40.000 Did someone get Don Quixote?

02:08:43.000 windmill stopped working. Now the wind stopped blowing.

02:08:47.000 We're sleeping outside.

02:08:48.000 Not the bird, man.

02:08:49.000 Took it down.

02:08:50.000 Can someone get Don Quixote?

02:08:51.000 Social Security is a sacred obligation.

02:08:52.000 I'll settle for a panza.

02:08:53.000 A sacred promise made. They paid for it. The current president is threatening to break

02:09:02.000 that promise.

02:09:03.000 He's proposing to eliminate a tax that pays for almost half the social security. 0.99

02:09:10.000 Yeah, it's called people having more money and spending it, dumbass. 0.95

02:09:16.000 If you actually look at the tax revenues, it's remarkably similar. 0.95

02:09:19.000 Which again, I'm not going to say that tax revenues are higher under Donald Trump.

02:09:22.000 I'm sure Reg can probably find this.

02:09:23.000 I think they were slightly less.

02:09:25.000 But when you consider how much less people are paying in income taxes, you understand why the Laffer Curve exists.

02:09:32.000 You understand that you can only tax people so much.

02:09:34.000 Did you guys hear when it was Cuomo in New York?

02:09:37.000 Cuomo in New York was saying, I'm getting on the phone with... No, no, no.

02:09:40.000 We can't have a wealth tax.

02:09:42.000 I'm getting on the phone with billionaires offering to make them dinner because, don't you understand?

02:09:46.000 These billionaires are the most mobile people in the world and they're already taxed at the highest rates.

02:09:51.000 We can't screw New York City even more.

02:09:53.000 And I thought it was a Babylon Bee article. 1.00

02:09:55.000 Turns out Cuomo said that shit! 1.00

02:09:59.000 Hey, you're gonna cut the taxes! 1.00

02:10:00.000 No, no, no!

02:10:01.000 The revenue is about pretty much the same because people have more money and they spend it.

02:10:06.000 They put it into the economy.

02:10:07.000 These are people who do not understand economics whatsoever, and more importantly, they don't want you to understand economics.

02:10:13.000 And let's just say, let's say the tax revenue, let's say it was two trillion less.

02:10:18.000 Let's say it was $2 trillion less under Donald Trump than Barack.

02:10:21.000 It still wouldn't make a dent!

02:10:24.000 And it's not.

02:10:25.000 It's not.

02:10:26.000 I think Reg has those numbers.

02:10:28.000 I think it was slightly less when you account for inflation, the revenues under Donald Trump than Barack Obama, when you take into account that people are paying way less.

02:10:37.000 And there's usually a rubber band effect, by the way, when that happens, when you cut taxes and people pay less.

02:10:41.000 Businesses hire more.

02:10:42.000 I can tell you this.

02:10:43.000 We hired two more people here at Louder With Crowder because of the small business tax relief.

02:10:49.000 Because of the change in taxes, we invested, we could bet more on ourselves and hire more people.

02:10:56.000 Yeah, so in 2018, the federal revenues actually went up a little bit.

02:11:01.000 Oh, really?

02:11:02.000 Yeah, they went up some, and then I think they dropped a little bit in the following year.

02:11:07.000 So yeah, not a huge difference.

02:11:09.000 So they went up, and they went down a little bit, only people have a lot more in their account because they're paying less in taxes and have an average salary increase of $5,000.

02:11:15.000 Haha, well that seems like a bargain. 0.96

02:11:19.000 Let's see what Dr. Shit-His-Pants has to say. 0.99

02:11:21.000 She's an educator. 0.99

02:11:24.000 A mom, a military mom.

02:11:26.000 And unstoppable force.

02:11:27.000 Who's he talking about?

02:11:28.000 If she puts her mind to it.

02:11:30.000 Himself.

02:11:30.000 Just get out of the way.

02:11:32.000 She's going to get it done.

02:11:33.000 Transition.

02:11:34.000 She was a great second lady. 0.98

02:11:37.000 And I know she'll make a great first lady for this nation. 1.00

02:11:41.000 She loves this country so much.

02:11:44.000 And I'll always have the strength that can only come from family.

02:11:50.000 Then why don't you talk about family, Joe?

02:11:52.000 Why don't you talk at these riots and protests and the violent outbreaks and talk about how the single greatest indicator we have as to whether a child will end up having a family of his own, as to whether he'll graduate high school, go to college, commit crimes, have behavioral disorders, have an abortion, commit a violent crime, commit a felony.

02:12:08.000 The single greatest indicator we have, the single most reliable predictor, is not how much money is being spent in their public school, is not How many people do we have in the village to raise a child?

02:12:19.000 It's not the federal budget, it's do they have a mommy and daddy and are they still in the house together?

02:12:25.000 Why don't you go out and talk about that?

02:12:27.000 If you're saying you can only draw on strength that comes from a family, how about you change the welfare laws that encourage baby mamas? 1.00

02:12:33.000 How about that?

02:12:36.000 If they believe that taxes are so effective at curbing or manipulating behavior, and they believe that, right?

02:12:42.000 Because they want to tax gas and energy.

02:12:45.000 Hopefully, when you see that gas is so expensive, you'll start using less in your car.

02:12:48.000 They want to tax big gulps. 0.83

02:12:51.000 Why?

02:12:51.000 Because they think that if you see how expensive they are because of the taxes you're paying on big gulps, you're no longer going to purchase big gulps.

02:12:56.000 They want to put astronomical taxes on cigarettes.

02:12:59.000 Why?

02:13:00.000 Because they believe that'll curb your behavior if they decide to put taxes on cigarettes, so you'll do it less.

02:13:05.000 Yet, for some reason, they still incentivize single-parent households in our current social safety nets and welfare programs.

02:13:13.000 They know that taxes can affect behavior.

02:13:15.000 They use it unconstitutionally all the time!

02:13:18.000 And they disincentivize starting a business.

02:13:20.000 Yes!

02:13:21.000 Starting a business, starting a family.

02:13:22.000 Those are bad things.

02:13:23.000 They also disincentivize Income!

02:13:29.000 Never with Joe around.

02:13:31.000 Never close your eyes.

02:13:33.000 Never close your eyes.

02:13:37.000 Close your eyes and take a sniff.

02:13:46.000 What is he talking about?

02:13:51.000 It's about Nazis, man. 0.65

02:13:54.000 Really?

02:13:54.000 What'd you guys do for Israel?

02:13:56.000 You and Bucky Obama, buddy.

02:13:58.000 What'd you do?

02:13:59.000 Huh?

02:14:00.000 What went down with Iran?

02:14:01.000 Why don't you tell us how you gave it to them? 1.00

02:14:03.000 They ain't doing shit about these damn black lives matter beating up white people either. 1.00

02:14:07.000 Right. 1.00

02:14:08.000 Oh, they don't care.

02:14:09.000 They're gonna have Cardi B out there with a megaphone.

02:14:12.000 Get him!

02:14:13.000 That's not hate.

02:14:15.000 My father taught us that silence was complicity. 1.00

02:14:19.000 If Joe's father's laughing, he'll bitch slap him. 0.99

02:14:22.000 You would hope. 1.00

02:14:23.000 Boy!

02:14:24.000 At the time... But, you know, I mean, we don't know.

02:14:27.000 Dementia could run in the family.

02:14:28.000 You may not recognize him.

02:14:30.000 And we are.

02:14:33.000 You know... Man, I thought he was done!

02:14:39.000 Did he just compare Trump to Nazis?

02:14:40.000 That's what it sounded like.

02:14:41.000 He's gonna cry now.

02:14:41.000 They exploit everything that's bad that's happened in this country.

02:14:44.000 Gianna Floyd.

02:14:45.000 He's going to cry now.

02:14:46.000 Her daddy, George Floyd, is laid to rest.

02:14:50.000 They exploit everything that's bad that's happened in this country.

02:14:53.000 I'll never forget it.

02:14:54.000 When I leaned down to speak to her, she looked in my eyes and she said, and I quote,

02:14:59.000 Daddy changed the world.

02:15:03.000 Daddy changed the world.

02:15:06.000 Wow.

02:15:08.000 And then I took a big sniff.

02:15:09.000 Her word burrowed deep into my heart.

02:15:11.000 That's crazy.

02:15:12.000 Baby George Floyd murder.

02:15:13.000 You know what though, this is why people say, well why does it matter?

02:15:17.000 This is why it matters because you know what?

02:15:19.000 That girl, it's really sad that she's going to grow up without a dad because he made horrible

02:15:23.000 decisions and unfortunately there was bad training at the police department.

02:15:26.000 As far as I'm concerned, when you watch the whole tape, that cop did zero wrong outside of using the techniques that were taught to that police department.

02:15:33.000 You can find the flyer right now where they show people with knees on necks, which is horrible, that's horrible training.

02:15:37.000 There was no malice, there was no racism.

02:15:39.000 But you know what's really sad about that?

02:15:41.000 Is that no one sees the irony that thank God, that that little girl, Floyd's girl, was not the girl who was at the house of the lady who George Floyd mugged and robbed at gunpoint while his buddies pistol-whipped her.

02:15:52.000 She had a one-year-old in the house with her.

02:15:55.000 He changed the world.

02:15:56.000 Let's be honest about what it is. 0.93

02:15:57.000 If you want to bring up every single flaw that Donald Trump has, despite the fact that as a president he's done a damn good job, well how about you talk about the fact that this guy who changed the world was a serial violent felon?

02:16:09.000 And by the way, wasn't spending much time with that girl. 0.92

02:16:12.000 That girl could have used a dad instead of a mugger. 1.00

02:16:15.000 Yeah.

02:16:16.000 That's just too much common sense there, Steve.

02:16:20.000 You know, it's one of those things, two wrongs don't make a right.

02:16:23.000 But there's wrong and there's an accident.

02:16:24.000 And if you go and watch, you guys watch the full George Floyd tape.

02:16:29.000 And you understand that that was the technique.

02:16:30.000 I don't know why it was taught to members of the police department.

02:16:33.000 That cop didn't do anything wrong.

02:16:35.000 He followed policy.

02:16:36.000 And they called the ambulance twice.

02:16:37.000 And they gave him every opportunity to get in the car.

02:16:40.000 They not only gave him the opportunity, they said, we'll stay with you, we'll roll down the window and turn on the air.

02:16:45.000 And this guy, he just talked about fermenting hate?

02:16:48.000 You're asking for a lynch mob to go to that cop's house who was compassionate, empathetic, and barely used any naughty words.

02:16:55.000 Yeah, I find it weird that he's claiming he's got claustrophobia, but he was a big man.

02:17:00.000 He was in the front seat of the car.

02:17:02.000 It wasn't very much space, then all of a sudden when he's getting arrested, oh, I got claustrophobia.

02:17:06.000 No, he has incarcephobia.

02:17:09.000 That's what he was trying to say.

02:17:11.000 Joe Biden stuttered.

02:17:11.000 He's getting out of an old Metro Geo and he has no qualms with it.

02:17:13.000 Joe Biden stuttered.

02:17:14.000 Oh, that's right.

02:17:15.000 Yeah.

02:17:16.000 Incarcophobia.

02:17:17.000 Incarcophobia.

02:17:18.000 He's getting out of an old metro geo and he has no qualms with it.

02:17:25.000 Then all of a sudden they want to put him in the back of a Suburban.

02:17:27.000 He's like, oh, I can't.

02:17:29.000 I'm claustrophobic!

02:17:30.000 I was talking to a cop at the airport about that whole incident.

02:17:33.000 People like George Floyd, the drugs he had in his system.

02:17:36.000 A lot of them, they find them in jail dead.

02:17:38.000 Oh, all the time?

02:17:39.000 Heart attacks, all the time.

02:17:40.000 Yeah, he had lethal amounts.

02:17:41.000 You're talking about fentanyl and methamphetamine.

02:17:42.000 And he just had COVID.

02:17:44.000 Yeah.

02:17:44.000 That dude had everything.

02:17:45.000 And listen, it's absolutely sad that somebody died who didn't need to die and that a girl doesn't have a dad.

02:17:50.000 Yeah, exactly.

02:17:51.000 But we also don't need to layer tragedy on top of tragedy and now ruin their lives.

02:17:56.000 Didn't we learn anything from ruining Darren Wilson's life with Mike Brown?

02:17:59.000 Yeah.

02:18:01.000 That poor guy never gets his life back. 0.96

02:18:02.000 He asked to serve the black community.

02:18:04.000 That's why he was in Ferguson.

02:18:06.000 George Floyd's cause of death was a heart attack, right?

02:18:08.000 He had heart disease too, right?

02:18:10.000 You know, they're claiming that was the white medical examination.

02:18:14.000 They're hiring their own third party and it shows that it was clearly the cops and he had his neck.

02:18:18.000 So, who knows?

02:18:19.000 He says, she says, what?

02:18:21.000 Joe's getting angry now.

02:18:22.000 Oh, is he?

02:18:23.000 He's got his angry furrow brow.

02:18:27.000 Oh, thank God it's over.

02:18:30.000 Look at him.

02:18:30.000 They're playing gospel music.

02:18:32.000 He's like, can I walk away now?

02:18:34.000 Look at his wife. 0.69

02:18:35.000 Come on.

02:18:35.000 Somebody has to hold him by the shoulder.

02:18:37.000 They pre-taped clapping on the Zoom call.

02:18:40.000 Yeah.

02:18:41.000 You know they pre-taped clapping.

02:18:43.000 They cut away as soon as they saw.

02:18:45.000 Did you see that?

02:18:45.000 They're all looking to their left.

02:18:47.000 There's no way they could see them.

02:18:49.000 They're all laughing.

02:18:50.000 Laugh and clap now.

02:18:51.000 Yeah!

02:18:52.000 It's over.

02:18:56.000 What are you waving at?

02:18:57.000 And by the way, they didn't have to do this.

02:18:59.000 Look at Kamala. 0.65

02:19:00.000 They could have easily done this in front of a live audience.

02:19:01.000 She's laughing at herself, like, they're not really crapping, are they?

02:19:05.000 Look at us.

02:19:06.000 This is all pre-recorded.

02:19:08.000 Wear their masks.

02:19:09.000 Oh my, that, okay, I will say this.

02:19:10.000 We've done a lot of live streams in our day, and then it's, you know, you never know, because it can be a hit or miss.

02:19:15.000 As far as what, there is nothing to fact, there was nothing to fact check.

02:19:18.000 There was nothing there, it was just clips and clips and clips.

02:19:20.000 There was nothing, it was clips of, you know, my daddy, he likes Breyers.

02:19:26.000 And he is h-h-h-h-h-hooked on phonics.

02:19:29.000 Oh my God, look at that African American female. 1.00

02:19:31.000 She's a sellout. 1.00

02:19:32.000 She married a white man. 1.00

02:19:35.000 He is white, huh? 1.00

02:19:36.000 Yeah, she's such a sellout. 1.00

02:19:39.000 That's how we're supposed to view things now, everything through the prism of race.

02:19:41.000 I was just saying, we have some costumes.

02:19:45.000 Oh, we have some costumes!

02:19:46.000 80s costumes night.

02:19:47.000 We'll pull it out.

02:19:47.000 Sorry, Smooth Manny, we'll have to do your Cube of Saturn another day.

02:19:52.000 I was looking forward to that.

02:19:53.000 We'll have to learn the truth later.

02:19:54.000 We'll do it.

02:19:54.000 We have some other bits that we'll get to on Monster.

02:19:56.000 I just got so mad with the bullshit. 0.99

02:19:58.000 That's all good. 1.00

02:19:59.000 His shit went with the landslide, right, Trump? 1.00

02:20:01.000 I hope so. 1.00

02:20:02.000 I mean, this country should not be this dumb. 1.00

02:20:06.000 It's not dumb, it's people, I will say this, human beings are selfish. 1.00

02:20:10.000 Are naturally selfish. 0.99

02:20:11.000 And unfortunately, they also have short memories. 0.95

02:20:13.000 So it doesn't mean that people are dumb, but when you've told them that the deck is tacked against them, that the system is broken, and then you've proactively broken the system, as they've done right now with the COVID, and supporting the riots.

02:20:24.000 You know, over close to a billion dollars in property damage, 900 officer casualties, 14,000 arrests, and you've tried to put Americans in a state of fear and then promise them a handout?

02:20:34.000 I think, unfortunately, that is a recipe to gain some votes. 1.00

02:20:36.000 Not because they're idiots, but because people are inherently selfish. 1.00

02:20:39.000 And, really, it comes down to conservatives are inherent... everyone is inherently selfish, and then you combine selfishness with what is morally... 1.00

02:20:47.000 allowable, what is morally permissible in the idea of not intervening in someone else's life,

02:20:53.000 along with logic. Because even if you're selfish, you understand that, put it this way, if the

02:20:58.000 Democrats are the party of the poor, they need more Americans, at least a plurality of Americans,

02:21:03.000 to stay poor.

02:21:04.000 If Republicans are the party of the rich, they need at least half the country to be, or at least think, that they can be rich.

02:21:12.000 So one has to be hopeful, and one has to be, well, everything's stacked against you, I'm going to be your savior until the next Democrat comes on down.

02:21:20.000 Listen to the difference between, they can say Donald Trump is mean, sure.

02:21:23.000 They can say that Donald Trump is immature, bombastic, absolutely.

02:21:26.000 But Donald Trump's message is absolutely one of hope and optimism.

02:21:31.000 And hey, and he's not saying we can get back to, people say he wants to say we can get back to the 50s.

02:21:35.000 No, he's saying we can get back to January, which was the greatest our country has ever seen.

02:21:40.000 Until everyone in the media and the left said it was mass hysteria when I tried to put in a travel ban, and now they're shutting down the economy.

02:21:47.000 There's a huge, huge difference when you look at zero information, zero policy proposals from Joe Biden, and nothing but negativity, but nihilism, and the deck is stacked against you.

02:21:59.000 But the good news is the guy who's been in government for 40 years and done nothing will fix it in four.

02:22:06.000 He'll fix it this time.

02:22:07.000 He'll fix it this time.

02:22:09.000 Alright, let's go to the costume winners.

02:22:11.000 Who do we got?

02:22:12.000 Alright, we have Hall and Oates.

02:22:17.000 Me and the husband.

02:22:18.000 Is that?

02:22:18.000 Oh, is that?

02:22:18.000 I can't see.

02:22:19.000 That's a lady. 1.00

02:22:20.000 Oh, good for her. 0.96

02:22:21.000 Hall and Oates.

02:22:22.000 A lady with a mustache. 1.00

02:22:24.000 That's not bad at all.

02:22:25.000 I respect that.

02:22:25.000 Miracle on Ice.

02:22:27.000 Yep, yep.

02:22:28.000 That's a good one right there.

02:22:29.000 I like that.

02:22:30.000 She's also outside, which means... And then we have the winner! 1.00

02:22:34.000 I like this guy!

02:22:36.000 It's not a fat Albert, it's the Kool-Aid guy.

02:22:38.000 Alright, well what's his name, Ron?

02:22:39.000 Ron Mazur.

02:22:40.000 We will be getting you a merch pack and a lock of post-rehab MJ's hair.

02:22:48.000 That was some good costumes you guys put together pretty quickly for a really crappy night of people speaking on Skype.

02:22:58.000 Look what I've got the mask on now.

02:23:00.000 Yeah, they just left so far. It's like the UFC.

02:23:02.000 It's like the UFC.

02:23:03.000 Because now that they've gone outside, they need the mask.

02:23:05.000 No, but they didn't need it inside.

02:23:07.000 Right, right.

02:23:07.000 Now they have to go outside in the open air.

02:23:09.000 Put it on safe.

02:23:10.000 Make safe.

02:23:10.000 Put your blanket on.

02:23:12.000 God, I hate Democrats. 0.99

02:23:13.000 Man, Keith, dude. 0.99

02:23:14.000 Ugh.

02:23:15.000 They're standing alone on a stage, husband and wife, wearing masks.

02:23:19.000 Just think of it. This is a Democratic Party right now.

02:23:23.000 It is all about... I mean, they're charlatans. 0.97

02:23:25.000 They're absolute charlatans. 1.00

02:23:26.000 Look at this. 1.00

02:23:27.000 They're putting masks on.

02:23:28.000 There is no possible way they could be... That girl, they don't even have a mask on.

02:23:31.000 Where's the sheriff, man?

02:23:32.000 Someone arrest her. 1.00

02:23:33.000 Someone fine her.

02:23:33.000 At least she... and she's half inside her car.

02:23:36.000 Gosh.

02:23:37.000 Joe Biden's just on an outdoor stage. 1.00

02:23:40.000 This is the thing, they don't believe any of this shit. 1.00

02:23:43.000 They really don't. 1.00

02:23:44.000 They really don't.

02:23:45.000 Do you really think that these people are afraid for their life and that's why they're wearing a mask?

02:23:48.000 Do you think that's why he looks like Reptile from Mortal Kombat?

02:23:51.000 He does.

02:23:53.000 No, it's because right now he's like, oh, photo op, they're going to be taking the picture for tomorrow's papers so I better make sure I put my mask on because it was a pre-tape before.

02:24:01.000 Yeah.

02:24:02.000 I mean, I don't even think he just gave that speech.

02:24:04.000 Look, his hair is different.

02:24:05.000 Yeah, this is in Vegas, I think.

02:24:07.000 Where is this right now?

02:24:08.000 Is this in Vegas?

02:24:10.000 No, it says Wilmington, Delaware.

02:24:11.000 Where'd you get Vegas from?

02:24:13.000 You're drunk, go home.

02:24:16.000 Every night in Vegas is far worse.

02:24:18.000 Again, the promo code, I think it's still up here for the next 24 hours from the start of this stream.

02:24:24.000 $20 off if you enter in CrowderDNCStream at lottoespowder.com slash MugClub.

02:24:29.000 And on top of that, we have to make sure to thank the people who are sticking by us during all of this, during the height of cancel culture, Black Rifle Coffee.

02:24:37.000 Oh, that's right.

02:24:38.000 You can go ahead.

02:24:39.000 The boys got it over there right between them.

02:24:42.000 Hey, if you're in trouble, grab the coffee.

02:24:44.000 If you Republican and you ain't drinking Black Rifle coffee, then you ain't conservative.

02:24:52.000 Seriously.

02:24:54.000 I mean, if you're going to support a business, these guys are ex-veterans.

02:24:58.000 I know them personally.

02:24:59.000 These are some good guys. 0.98

02:25:00.000 And besides, this is some damn good coffee. 0.99

02:25:02.000 Damn good coffee. 0.99

02:25:04.000 Let's be honest, they don't drink coffee. 1.00

02:25:05.000 They're more Red Bull guys.

02:25:06.000 But!

02:25:08.000 I like a good cup of tea.

02:25:09.000 Do you?

02:25:10.000 Yeah, I drink coffee.

02:25:11.000 Do you drink coffee?

02:25:11.000 How do you drink it?

02:25:13.000 A lot of milk.

02:25:16.000 No, but Sid, this is good coffee.

02:25:18.000 My wife loves it.

02:25:19.000 BlackRifleCoffee.com slash Crowder.

02:25:23.000 And I don't know, do they still need to enter in the promo code Crowder?

02:25:24.000 Just go to the promo code Crowder.

02:25:27.000 You get 20% off your first order.

02:25:28.000 And I will say, I'm a huge coffee snob.

02:25:29.000 And by the way, to Chael Sonnen, who just got into coffee, we're going to be sending you a bag pretty soon because he finally sent me some of those healthy cereal boxes.

02:25:37.000 Listen, it's one of those things, it's a gimme.

02:25:39.000 If you drink coffee, It's unfortunately one of the great hazards that you have to navigate in the grocery aisle that almost all coffee companies, and certainly they hate everything you stand for.

02:25:50.000 If you look into what Starbucks and a lot of these companies, Black Rifle, is better coffee.

02:25:54.000 They hate you.

02:25:54.000 It's fresh roasted.

02:25:56.000 Yeah.

02:25:57.000 It's veteran owned and they do a lot for veteran causes and that's great, but it is better coffee.

02:26:02.000 And at the very, let's say it wasn't owned by veterans.

02:26:04.000 Let's say it just, it was owned by non-assholes who didn't hate everything you stand for. 0.99

02:26:09.000 And it is. 0.98

02:26:10.000 Wouldn't that still be enough?

02:26:11.000 You're going to be drinking that coffee every morning.

02:26:12.000 Might as well be better coffee that's not owned by people who want to destroy the very fabric of Western civilization.

02:26:19.000 Yeah, that's it.

02:26:20.000 BlackRifleCoffee.com slash Crowder.

02:26:23.000 We should also have a Loud Earth Crowder.com slash BlackRifleCoffee. 0.69

02:26:25.000 Let's do it.

02:26:27.000 Yeah, they even got a store in San Antonio.

02:26:30.000 They do?

02:26:31.000 Yeah.

02:26:31.000 Great coffee, I'm telling you.

02:26:32.000 You can go buy a cup of nice coffee.

02:26:33.000 Oh, that's right.

02:26:34.000 They sent me... You can buy a gun.

02:26:37.000 Right next door.

02:26:37.000 You buy a coffee walk, next door there's a gun shop.

02:26:39.000 I need a gun.

02:26:40.000 Actually, Evan at Black Rifle sent me that wonderful, it was like a $5,000 espresso machine from the San Antonio shop.

02:26:45.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:26:46.000 And then USPS played kickball with it.

02:26:51.000 Where it was totally broken and it was going to cost me $2,400 to repair.

02:26:55.000 Hey, that's an institution, Steve.

02:26:56.000 You can't talk about that, man.

02:26:57.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:26:58.000 It was poking out of the box.

02:26:59.000 They should be in charge of the election.

02:27:01.000 Actually, the metal frame was poking out of the box.

02:27:03.000 You'd think someone there would've been like... They were checking it for defects.

02:27:06.000 Oh, yeah, but we want them to handle the election of the free world.

02:27:09.000 Did it say your name, Stephen Crott, on it?

02:27:11.000 Uh, I don't think so.

02:27:12.000 I don't have anything delivered to my name. 1.00

02:27:13.000 Stephen Crott, I hate this asshole. 1.00

02:27:16.000 Let's play soccer. 1.00

02:27:17.000 We did that when we got here.

02:27:19.000 We just kicked it.

02:27:20.000 Yeah, that's why.

02:27:21.000 Well, it was ruined.

02:27:22.000 So, I do know about the store in San Antonio.

02:27:24.000 They still owe me an espresso machine.

02:27:26.000 No, they don't.

02:27:26.000 Actually, it's a post office.

02:27:28.000 I have so much that I could get into with the post office.

02:27:30.000 Hey, well, you know what?

02:27:31.000 That is nice to see that they are waving a flag instead of burning a car.

02:27:36.000 So, that's progress.

02:27:37.000 That is progress.

02:27:38.000 Who's an ace, Steven?

02:27:40.000 I'm saying that Democrats burn cars in police precincts.

02:27:44.000 What?

02:27:44.000 Was I not clear?

02:27:45.000 Look, here's the thing.

02:27:47.000 Everyone who's truly waving a flag out in that parking lot right now should be voting for conservative.

02:27:52.000 They're really good at making it look like they're very diverse.

02:27:56.000 No, I think they're pretty much making him look black with two white people in the middle.

02:28:00.000 That's what they're doing.

02:28:01.000 It's like they're making him look like a Malamar. 1.00

02:28:03.000 That's nice fireworks, though.

02:28:04.000 All right.

02:28:05.000 Thank you, everybody.

02:28:06.000 We appreciate you being with us. 0.80

02:28:07.000 We had so many other things that we were going to get to, but there was just so much crap tonight. 0.95

02:28:11.000 Uh-oh, he's got his mask off. 0.93

02:28:12.000 And we have the Hodge twins.

02:28:13.000 Look at that!

02:28:14.000 Put your mask on, Josh!

02:28:16.000 What changed?

02:28:17.000 What changed? 0.99

02:28:17.000 He's gonna die now! 0.99

02:28:18.000 That he pulled his mask off.

02:28:19.000 What changed that you can pull your mask off there, you felt the urge to put it on, he just took and now he's putting it back on.

02:28:25.000 What changed now? 1.00

02:28:26.000 She said, put your mask on you damn nitwit! 1.00

02:28:29.000 That lost him the election. 1.00

02:28:30.000 Why did he pull it off?

02:28:31.000 Did a six-year-old walk by?

02:28:32.000 That's not a lot of people there at all.

02:28:35.000 I'm waiting for all the memes to come out because every single one I see is like, oh you see these people going to a place and they're wearing it under their face or they got it hanging off and hey your candidate's doing it.

02:28:43.000 Yeah.

02:28:44.000 Awkward. 0.99

02:28:44.000 She's holding a rapist's hand. 0.99

02:28:46.000 There he goes, there he goes. 0.98

02:28:47.000 He took it off to yell particles.

02:28:51.000 Alright, so you heard it here.

02:28:53.000 We have the Hodge Twins, Conservative Twins.

02:28:54.000 I think they might be here for some stuff next week and certainly some content that we have going with them.

02:28:59.000 It's Conservative Twins on YouTube and Facebook is The Hodge Twins.

02:29:03.000 Always love having you here.

02:29:04.000 Half-Asian lawyer Bill Richman, Quarter Black Garrett, Audio Way, Too Cute Maddie. 1.00

02:29:07.000 Thank you so much.

02:29:08.000 The promo code is CrowderDNC.

02:29:10.000 Stream for $20 off at loudestcrowder.com and please That's the only thing that allows us to do this anyway.

02:29:14.000 We'll be doing special streams for every event.

02:29:16.000 Town hall, debates, if they ever actually happen.

02:29:19.000 And I think we learned a lot tonight, is you really do have a choice to make. 0.98

02:29:24.000 You have a choice to make between the greatest economy the United States has ever seen, no major wars, economic growth like we couldn't possibly imagine, a world that's actually fearfully respectful of us, or pure fucking chaos. 0.97

02:29:42.000 Joe Biden and Cardi B. We'll see you on Monday! 0.96

Louder with Crowder - August 21, 2020

#CrowderDNCStream!! HodgeTwins and Andrew Klavan Guest! | Louder with Crowder

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