Louder with Crowder - May 16, 2025


Guru Crowder Takes on Looksmaxxing, The Friend Zone, and Getting Cold Feet

Hosted by
Steven Crowder
Mentioned
Guru Crowder Gerald Vince John Thomas Cary Grant Vincente Noodles Mm-mm
🔴 Trump's Huge Qatar Deal Launches Major Shift In US Policy - But is That a Good Thing? Flashback: Busting the Jeffrey Epstein Suicide Myth

Episode Stats


Length

10 minutes

Words per minute

167.11

Word count

1,724

Sentence count

215

Harmful content

Misogyny

9

sentences flagged

Toxicity

24

sentences flagged

Hate speech

7

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

It's Friday, which means there could be anything, figuratively and literally, back here could be the show, because you're there, and I'm going to take you on a journey. It's the Taste of Friday, and by that we mean plain water.

Transcript

Transcripts from "Louder with Crowder" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. Explore them interactively here.
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:59.000 Welcome.
00:01:00.000 It is Friday.
00:01:01.000 Welcome, Vince viewers.
00:01:02.000 One word, Vince.
00:01:04.000 I believe in Latin that comes from the word Vincente, which means one who's thin, but he wears it well.
00:01:15.000 Now, we're glad to have you.
00:01:17.000 And the lineup here, Rumble exclusive.
00:01:19.000 No more YouTube.
00:01:20.000 Rumble is the one that did YouTube in 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. Eastern.
00:01:24.000 If you are not a Rumble Premier member, you just keep watching and it goes right into the next show.
00:01:27.000 This is the future of live streaming.
00:01:29.000 And by the way, Rumble has been number one across all categories consistently.
00:01:33.000 I don't even know if there have been any exceptions for weeks.
00:01:35.000 And that's because of you.
00:01:37.000 So we appreciate it.
00:01:38.000 Today is Friday, which means there could be anything back here.
00:01:42.000 I'm saying it figuratively.
00:01:42.000 Back here could be the show because you're there.
00:01:45.000 And I'm going to take you on a journey.
00:01:48.000 Let's see what we got.
00:02:26.000 It's the Taste of Friday.
00:02:28.000 And by that, I mean plain water.
00:02:30.000 Let's say.
00:02:31.000 Yeah.
00:02:32.000 It's not tasty.
00:02:33.000 No, it's not very celebratory, is it?
00:02:35.000 Mm-mm.
00:02:35.000 Can someone get some Everclear in here?
00:02:37.000 Can we call Mission Control?
00:02:38.000 Champagne, maybe?
00:02:39.000 By the way, I'm sure people think I'm an alky.
00:02:40.000 I've told people, for emergencies, I always have some water, some obviously of prepared-with-crowder food, and I always have a few bottles of Everclear.
00:02:48.000 Because you can use it as fuel, you can dilute it, use it as a sanitizer, but people come in like, why do you have so much Everclear?
00:02:53.000 You can just have a good time.
00:02:54.000 And I say, I explain it, but then they see the equal amount of jugs of orange juice.
00:03:01.000 Well, and I say, well, I don't have an excuse.
00:03:03.000 I don't really have an explanation for that.
00:03:04.000 You're a one-to-one man, huh?
00:03:05.000 Don't judge me.
00:03:06.000 So, today could be anything.
00:03:08.000 It's Friday, and sometimes it's a slow news day, which means we want to serve you better.
00:03:12.000 And so, you know, the best way that we can serve you is with our qualifications.
00:03:17.000 And you all well know that I am a guru certified.
00:03:21.000 It's time for Tough Love.
00:03:22.000 Tough Love! 1.00
00:03:27.000 With Guru Crowder.
00:03:29.000 you I wear it proudly.
00:03:33.000 I went through the course.
00:03:35.000 It was a multi-part questionnaire.
00:03:38.000 Five parts.
00:03:39.000 Five questions.
00:03:40.000 And I didn't even have to wrap my John Thomas around one of those bo staffs. 0.99
00:03:44.000 Yeah, but you did have to hit yourself in the junk a number of times. 0.98
00:03:47.000 No, I let other men kick me in the junk to prove my pain tolerance. 0.98
00:03:50.000 Because that's how you know they're really good fighters, those monks in Tibet. 0.96
00:03:54.000 I mean, granted, they never actually challenge themselves. 0.87
00:03:56.000 They just get kicked in the nuts by other equally small weak monks. 0.95
00:03:59.000 What if you get hit in the face, though? 1.00
00:04:00.000 Like, I get you can take one to the balls, but can you... 0.97
00:04:02.000 Well, I don't think my pain tolerance has anything to do with the mineral density of my teeth. 1.00
00:04:08.000 The point is, the Asians are silly with the martial arts, and they largely don't work. 1.00
00:04:14.000 So you can send in your requests, of course, for life advice, relationship advice. 0.99
00:04:18.000 Be careful.
00:04:18.000 Yeah, I mean, but you know what you're signing up for.
00:04:21.000 Tough love at louderwithcrowder.com.
00:04:23.000 It's sort of, you know, they have anti-heroes.
00:04:24.000 This is the anti-feel-good advice.
00:04:28.000 We're going to roast you a little bit. 0.86
00:04:29.000 A little bit. 0.89
00:04:30.000 You have to.
00:04:30.000 Yeah.
00:04:31.000 In some cases, more than others.
00:04:32.000 Yeah, of course.
00:04:33.000 Yeah, in some cases, you really deserve it.
00:04:34.000 So let's go to our first letter, writer, emailer?
00:04:39.000 What do we say?
00:04:40.000 Thing.
00:04:40.000 Okay.
00:04:41.000 It's been a long week.
00:04:45.000 Hi, Guru Crowder.
00:04:48.000 Okay.
00:04:48.000 Good start.
00:04:49.000 I appreciate it.
00:04:51.000 I've been struggling with loneliness and the associated feelings of worthlessness.
00:04:56.000 I'm 24, have never gone on a date.
00:04:58.000 Alright, hold on a second.
00:04:59.000 Stop.
00:05:00.000 First off, you left off my name, so good.
00:05:02.000 Yeah.
00:05:03.000 Wow.
00:05:05.000 It's tough love.
00:05:06.000 This is why I say it's an evil mean man wrapped in a veneer of Christendom.
00:05:15.000 And he's like, ah, Gerald is really nice.
00:05:17.000 I'm like, you don't really watch it.
00:05:18.000 There is a simmering beneath the surface.
00:05:22.000 No, you're 24. So look, lonely, worthless. 1.00
00:05:25.000 I mean, I wasn't even shaving really until I want to say I was like 25. I just had peach fuzz.
00:05:29.000 So you have a long way to go.
00:05:31.000 A lot of people have gotten to your age and haven't necessarily been Casanova.
00:05:35.000 So don't be too hard on yourself, but we'll get to the rest of it.
00:05:39.000 I know many, but I'm sure they're out there.
00:05:41.000 Yeah, I've never gone on a date.
00:05:43.000 Meanwhile, several of the people I went to school with are engaged or married.
00:05:47.000 I've been trying to make myself more desirable by getting a better job, going to the gym, and taking better care of myself.
00:05:52.000 Well, you should do that for yourself anyway.
00:05:54.000 This used to be called being a man, a complete man.
00:05:58.000 And you should do this whether you are seeking a mate or taking a vow of celibacy.
00:06:04.000 Whatever it is that you do to improve yourself, people now call it looks-maxing.
00:06:08.000 You mean brushing your hair?
00:06:10.000 And teeth. 0.66
00:06:11.000 You mean exercising and eating semi-right?
00:06:15.000 It's not looks-maxing.
00:06:17.000 You think Cary Grant was like, I think I'm going to be looks-maxing.
00:06:20.000 No, he was just a good-looking guy.
00:06:21.000 He probably took a salad every now and then.
00:06:25.000 I've started going to a good church in my area and have gone to some other events where I should be able to meet some respectable women. 1.00
00:06:31.000 Okay, good.
00:06:32.000 You're looking to find some places where they'd be available.
00:06:35.000 Despite all this, I haven't had any success trying to get a date.
00:06:38.000 Is there something I'm missing?
00:06:40.000 I haven't seen a picture.
00:06:44.000 Could factor in.
00:06:46.000 I mean, I don't know.
00:06:47.000 Are you missing a tooth?
00:06:49.000 Hey.
00:06:50.000 Are you...
00:06:51.000 Whoa! 0.71
00:06:52.000 A little too close to our home. 0.99
00:06:54.000 Do you have a pig nose? 0.94
00:06:55.000 I mean, the point is there are a multitude of reasons, but the good news is... 0.66
00:06:59.000 There's a style for every type of lady out there. 1.00
00:07:02.000 Everyone has their different flavors.
00:07:03.000 And however freakish you may or may not be, there's someone out there where you just do it for them.
00:07:09.000 You just haven't met them yet.
00:07:10.000 Well, and as they get older, they get more desperate.
00:07:12.000 Yeah, that's absolutely true.
00:07:13.000 Use that to your advantage. 0.98
00:07:13.000 I knew a retarded couple. 0.98
00:07:16.000 Both he and she were retarded who live in the basement apartment. 1.00
00:07:20.000 That my grandfather and my father used to manage.
00:07:22.000 And it was a huge liability.
00:07:24.000 Like, I don't think they should have been allowed to live there by themselves.
00:07:26.000 They burned the whole building.
00:07:27.000 They came close.
00:07:29.000 But by God, they loved each other.
00:07:30.000 There you go.
00:07:31.000 And the moans that you heard from that basement apartment on Victoria Street.
00:07:36.000 We would genuinely have to make our best estimate.
00:07:41.000 Is someone being hurt and in need of medical attention?
00:07:44.000 Or is this just how retarded people bone? 1.00
00:07:47.000 They're making more retarded. 1.00
00:07:49.000 No, I think... 0.86
00:07:51.000 I don't know.
00:07:53.000 Alright.
00:07:54.000 If it matters at all, I'm 6 '2", weigh 230 pounds, can bench over 200, squat over 300, and deadlift over 400.
00:08:01.000 That's not bad.
00:08:02.000 Okay, that's not bad.
00:08:03.000 Those are respectable numbers.
00:08:04.000 In other words, you're probably within striking distance.
00:08:07.000 You're not wildly out of shape at all.
00:08:08.000 You're actually in shape.
00:08:09.000 Yeah, it seems like you're in decent shape.
00:08:10.000 You're tall.
00:08:11.000 That's a huge plus.
00:08:12.000 So even if you're very ugly, if you're tall and you're funny, you can find somebody.
00:08:21.000 Tall and funny, that's about all.
00:08:23.000 Throw a few bucks on top of it, you are on easy street.
00:08:28.000 Sorry, Noodles, not to throw the hype thing in there, but you all have many qualities that Gerald doesn't have, you know, like a soul.
00:08:37.000 I have blue eyes and brown hair.
00:08:40.000 Funny enough, I found this out.
00:08:41.000 There are some women who really don't like blue eyes. 1.00
00:08:44.000 Did you know that?
00:08:44.000 No.
00:08:45.000 Yeah, there are some women who find them lifeless. 1.00
00:08:49.000 Babies are born with blue eyes.
00:08:50.000 If you don't like that, then, you know.
00:08:52.000 I'm just saying, I realize it, because I always thought I had boring eyes.
00:08:54.000 They're like hazel green.
00:08:56.000 They're not all Jews, are they? 0.94
00:08:57.000 I didn't just advocate.
00:08:58.000 Whoa, whoa.
00:08:59.000 See what I'm talking about?
00:09:00.000 He didn't skip a beat.
00:09:03.000 He didn't have to think about it, did he?
00:09:05.000 He said it in a way of like, I want to pull it back if they are.
00:09:07.000 If it's like, oh, this is like specifically amongst the Jewish population.
00:09:10.000 I'm like, well, I did say eradicate, and I don't want that to happen. 0.99
00:09:12.000 Way to retrieve your soul from the depths of hell by crapping all over God's chosen people. 0.99
00:09:16.000 Well, actually, I was protected.
00:09:18.000 Protecting them.
00:09:18.000 You picked a fight with the viewer and then decided, this isn't enough.
00:09:21.000 I'm going to pick a fight with the Lord.
00:09:23.000 That's great.
00:09:25.000 All right.
00:09:26.000 What happened?
00:09:27.000 Blue eyes, brown hair.
00:09:28.000 I have very strong Christian beliefs, which generally translates to politically conservative beliefs.
00:09:32.000 My main hobbies are hunting, fishing, reading, basically anything gun-related.
00:09:36.000 I will tell you this.
00:09:37.000 Most women, there are not a lot of women who are into the gun-related hobbies.
00:09:40.000 Some of them will often, like, fake it and be like, yeah, I am!
00:09:44.000 But they're not.
00:09:45.000 Now, there are women who are pro-gun and who will go shooting every now and then, but as far as being really into the hobby, there just aren't many.
00:09:51.000 Pretty much all of these are largely male-exclusive.
00:09:55.000 So, outside of those...
00:09:57.000 You may be running into fewer opportunities than the average bear to meet a woman. 1.00
00:10:02.000 You know, if a guy is into going to the gym, it's a 50-50 shot.
00:10:05.000 Who he runs into could be a man, could be a woman. 0.52
00:10:07.000 If a guy is into, I mean, I don't know whatever else it is, a cycling.
00:10:11.000 If a guy is into dance class.
00:10:13.000 If a guy is into cooking and he goes to a cooking class or down to the local rec center, there's a good chance he runs into women.