Louder with Crowder - LIVE: CNN FACTCHECK! #MugClubQuarantine FINALE! | Donald Trump Jr., Nick Di Paolo

00:00:00.000 Long bookmarked rubble, that I bury still always. x4 Long bookmarked rubble, that I bury still always. x4

00:00:37.000 Long bookmarked rubble, that I bury still always. x4 Long bookmarked rubble, that I bury still always. x4

00:01:00.000 Now I can say he's lived, until he's loved.

00:01:02.000 Well, go out and love someone.

00:01:03.000 Could I do her?

00:01:04.000 Have you told her?

00:01:06.000 No, you know me.

00:01:07.000 I'm too shy.

00:01:08.000 If I could cable her.

00:01:10.000 Why not semaphore?

00:01:11.000 Arthur, you've got to declare yourself openly.

00:01:13.000 Otherwise you'll stay right where you are.

00:01:15.000 Bosham.

00:02:12.000 you I have plain, simple feelings.

00:02:17.000 And I use plain, simple words.

00:02:19.000 And I simply have to let you know.

00:02:21.000 Plainly, that I... No, no.

00:02:23.000 namely and simply what? 0.99

00:02:25.000 I'm a fool I'm a fool 0.99

00:03:12.000 Draw the knives and you have it. 1.00

00:03:14.000 Oh, no, really, I think you ought to give him a chance.

00:03:16.000 He seems kind of... helpless.

00:03:19.000 Helplessness is the last thing I am looking for.

00:03:21.000 Does it light? Even shimmy.

00:03:51.000 Look, please, if we're going to spend the rest of our lives together, you must learn not to interrupt.

00:04:04.000 The rest of our lives?

00:04:06.000 Yes.

00:04:07.000 You mean marriage?

00:04:08.000 Of course.

00:04:09.000 You've got a nerve.

00:04:10.000 I've got several of them.

00:04:13.000 They all function normally.

00:04:15.000 Do you realise what you've said?

00:04:17.000 I should do.

00:04:18.000 It's pounded in my brain often enough.

00:04:20.000 Asleep and awake.

00:04:21.000 In the drowsy fantasy moment of every lonely dawn.

00:04:24.000 Come on.

00:04:29.000 No, it's just the sudden realization of the fact that I love you.

00:04:35.000 I love you.

00:05:19.000 Nobody ever does And here I thought you could talk to me I understand Nobody ever does

00:05:39.000 And here I thought you could talk to me I understand you

00:05:50.000 Bye!

00:05:52.000 Oh Oh

00:06:18.000 Oh And here I thought you could talk to me

00:06:34.000 I'll just have to think of something else.

00:06:35.000 Here I thought you could talk to me.

00:06:37.000 I thought you could talk to me.

00:06:41.000 Thanks for watching!

00:06:43.000 If you enjoyed this video, please like and subscribe!

00:06:45.000 Thanks for watching!

00:06:47.000 If you enjoyed this video, please like and subscribe!

00:06:49.000 Thanks for watching!

00:06:51.000 If you enjoyed this video, please like and subscribe!

00:06:53.000 Thanks for watching!

00:06:55.000 If you enjoyed this video, please like and subscribe!

00:06:57.000 Thanks for watching!

00:06:59.000 If you enjoyed this video, please like and subscribe!

00:07:01.000 Thanks for watching!

00:07:03.000 If you enjoyed this video, please like and subscribe!

00:07:05.000 Thanks for watching!

00:07:07.000 If you enjoyed this video, please like and subscribe!

00:07:09.000 Thanks for watching!

00:07:11.000 If you enjoyed this video, please like and subscribe!

00:07:13.000 Thanks for watching!

00:07:15.000 If you enjoyed this video, please like and subscribe!

00:07:17.000 Thanks for watching!

00:07:19.000 If you enjoyed this video, please like and subscribe!

00:07:21.000 Thanks for watching!

00:07:23.000 If you enjoyed this video, please like and subscribe!

00:07:25.000 Thanks for watching!

00:07:27.000 If you enjoyed this video, please like and subscribe!

00:07:29.000 Thanks for watching!

00:07:31.000 If you enjoyed this video, please like and subscribe!

00:07:33.000 Thanks for watching!

00:07:35.000 If you enjoyed this video, please like and subscribe!

00:07:37.000 Thanks for watching!

00:07:39.000 If you enjoyed this video, please like and subscribe!

00:07:41.000 Thanks for watching!

00:07:43.000 If you enjoyed this video, please like and subscribe!

00:07:45.000 Thanks for watching!

00:07:47.000 If you enjoyed this video, please like and subscribe!

00:07:49.000 Thanks for watching!

00:07:51.000 If you enjoyed this video, please like and subscribe!

00:07:53.000 What a day.

00:07:54.000 That's very honest Allowance

00:08:00.000 That's very honest Expecto Patronus

00:08:04.000 Facts That's very honest

00:08:08.000 1, 2, 3 Birthday

00:08:14.000 Only post on When there's no one else to speak

00:08:18.000 Balls and carry That's where birthday

00:08:22.000 Only post on When there's no one else to speak

00:08:26.000 Balls and carry Are you there, sir?

00:08:30.000 Are you there, sir?

00:08:55.000 Are you Scrooge.

00:09:00.000 Poculus where?

00:09:02.000 Blood lies within the chamber I wonder

00:09:06.000 Scrooge I wonder

00:09:12.000 Little girl Sunshine, daisy, watermelon

00:09:18.000 Sunshine, daisy, watermelon I strongly recommend

00:09:26.000 Potion Manchipora! 1.00

00:09:29.000 No such thing, ma'am.

00:09:31.000 Anyone who hears this, why is it always me?

00:09:34.000 Or Manta Bora?

00:09:36.000 No such thing, ma'am.

00:09:38.000 One, two, three.

00:09:40.000 Where are they?

00:09:42.000 Only in Pinsa.

00:09:42.000 Where are they, where are they, where are they?

00:09:45.000 Bolton's Parry.

00:09:46.000 And it's like, where are they?

00:09:47.000 Only in Pinsa.

00:09:48.000 Where are they, where are they, where are they?

00:09:51.000 Bolton's Parry.

00:09:52.000 And it's like, where are they?

00:09:54.000 Only in Pinsa.

00:09:54.000 Oh, you piss off, all you do is run, run, run, take the bulls and carry them inside your wear.

00:09:59.000 Monday. 0.99

00:10:00.000 Oh, you piss off, all you do is run, run, run, take the bulls and carry them inside your wear. 0.98

00:10:05.000 Monday. 0.99

00:10:06.000 My eye cockiness, I bleed from cravings to a boulder. Cockiness.

00:10:10.000 Wear.

00:10:11.000 Terry.

00:10:12.000 Oh, my eye cockiness, I'm choking from cravings to a boulder.

00:10:15.000 One cockiness.

00:10:16.000 Wear.

00:10:17.000 Blood.

00:10:18.000 My eye cockiness, I bleed from cravings to a boulder. Cockiness. 0.87

00:10:22.000 Wear.

00:10:23.000 Oh, my eye cockiness, I'm choking from cravings to a boulder.

00:10:28.000 One cockiness.

00:10:29.000 Wear.

00:10:30.000 Blood.

00:10:51.000 Perhaps the moon knows the secret of the new sound.

00:10:55.000 Open your mind.

00:10:57.000 So bright.

00:11:08.000 Open your mind. Let us begin our quest to find it.

00:11:12.000 I've got new.

00:11:19.000 I've got everything I need.

00:11:26.000 I've got you.

00:11:31.000 Okay, let's have fun.

00:11:36.000 I've got you.

00:11:50.000 He's so bright and bright.

00:11:53.000 Pull on this hand, sis.

00:11:55.000 He's so bright and he won't get out my face.

00:11:59.000 He's so bright and bright.

00:12:02.000 Pull on this hand, pull on this.

00:12:04.000 He's so bright and he won't get out my face.

00:12:08.000 I've got you. 1.00

00:12:13.000 I see I see so so so fuck off you. 1.00

00:12:17.000 the picture I'm- I'm- I'm- Icy, icy, zoo, zoo! 1.00

00:12:20.000 I've got new- Zoo, zoo!

00:12:23.000 Icy, icy, zoo!

00:12:25.000 I've got new- Ciao!

00:12:29.000 Uh! 0.96

00:12:29.000 You must choose! 0.96

00:12:29.000 It's cool outside! 0.96

00:12:31.000 Bimbo, bimbo! 1.00

00:12:32.000 My name is Mr. Susan!

00:12:33.000 You must choose!

00:12:34.000 And now it is time for you to do the choosin'!

00:12:37.000 I am Mr. Peeble!

00:12:38.000 It's zoo, zoo time!

00:12:38.000 I've got new. You must choose. Captain Kevin, it's trapped in cabinets.

00:12:57.000 Can I get out?

00:12:58.000 Will I get out?

00:12:59.000 Of course you will. 0.99

00:12:59.000 You're like a dingle dine, rinse rinse ya head D-d-d-d-dingle dine, burn a bed now 0.99

00:13:04.000 Oh, you're like a dingle dine We all get up and play 1.00

00:13:06.000 Mmm, everything I need here You're like a dingle dine, rinse rinse ya head 0.98

00:13:11.000 D-d-d-d-dingle dine, burn a bed now Oh, you're like a dingle dine 1.00

00:13:14.000 We all get up and play I did a rhyme, oh!

00:13:17.000 Better bet he's not a nice dude I'm a nice dude, I'm a nice dude

00:13:21.000 I'm a nice dude, I'm a nice dude You, you're my nice dude

00:13:26.000 Go get some time Nicey, nicey, zoes, go back off, you 0.82

00:13:30.000 Zoes, go nicey, nicey, zoes Pop, pop, pop, pop 0.98

00:13:34.000 Back off, you, back off, you Yeah, nicey, nicey, zoes, go back off, you 1.00

00:13:39.000 Zoes, go nicey, nicey, zoes You, you're my nice 1.00

00:13:43.000 Back off, nice Go get some time, back, back, back

00:13:45.000 Nicey, nicey, zoes, go back off, you Zoes, zoes, nicey, nicey, zoes 1.00

00:13:51.000 Back off, you Go get some time

00:13:55.000 Back off, back off, back off You're a nice dude

00:14:11.000 Used to turn out, out of the big world But I, I found a girl in you

00:14:39.000 Your dream, your dream came true Nothing compares, no worries

00:14:47.000 Used to turn out, out of the big world But I, I found a girl in you

00:14:57.000 Your dream, your dream came true Nothing compares, no worries

00:15:05.000 Get the bomb back, get the bomb back, get the bomb, get the bomb

00:15:23.000 And get your skin now, now, now Settle down, peace, calm, find your balance

00:15:37.000 Settle down, peace, calm And get your skin now, now, now

00:15:50.000 Settle down, peace, calm, find your balance Nothing compares, no worries

00:15:59.000 Get the bomb back, get the bomb back, get the bomb, get the bomb

00:16:16.000 Now, now, you know how Now, now, now, now

00:16:34.000 Used to turn out, out of the big world But I, I found a girl in you

00:16:43.000 Your dream, your dream came true Nothing compares, no worries

00:16:52.000 And get your skin now, now, now And get your skin now, now, now 0.92

00:17:01.000 Settle down, peace, calm, find your balance Nothing compares, no worries

00:17:10.000 Get the bomb back, get the bomb back, get the bomb, get the bomb

00:17:18.000 Nothing compares, no worries Nothing compares, no worries

00:17:24.000 Nothing compares, no worries Nothing compares

00:17:29.000 Thanks for watching!

00:17:31.000 Subscribe to my channel for more videos!

00:17:56.000 Like and share! 0.77

00:18:15.000 It came this way.

00:18:17.000 Oh, let explain to the trouble that I'm always in, always in

00:18:41.000 Oh, let explain to the trouble that I'm always in, always in

00:19:09.000 Just compare your day with your awesome day If I just compare my awesome day, the hell I think they are

00:19:17.000 Just compare your day with your Just compare my awesome day, the your things they are

00:19:25.000 Buy the life of a thief, buy the life of a thief, away to your

00:19:47.000 One would like a couple people, and a wonderful me, make a bunch of people, make wonderful things

00:20:03.000 Oh, let explain to the trouble that I'm always in, always in

00:20:20.000 Oh, let explain to the trouble that I'm always in, always in

00:20:36.000 You hear that, Samson? Beautiful.

00:20:46.000 Beautiful.

00:21:06.000 Beautiful people and beautiful people, beautiful people and beautiful people

00:21:30.000 You're hoping that your life has a little bit of a kick to it.

00:21:38.000 Oh, sorry.

00:21:41.000 My dear, goodbye.

00:21:43.000 Your heart has fallen apart if you keep on hoping.

00:21:49.000 You're hoping that your life has a little bit of a kick to it.

00:21:57.000 Oh, sorry.

00:22:00.000 My dear, goodbye.

00:22:03.000 Your heart has fallen apart if you keep on hoping.

00:22:08.000 You're hoping that your life has a little bit of a kick to it.

00:22:37.000 Oh, sorry.

00:22:50.000 Oh father, we're knowing you're begging to turn Oh father, we're knowing you're begging to turn

00:22:59.000 Goodbye, your heart was full of soul If you keep wanting to be your own

00:23:07.000 You'll regret your life Oh father, we're knowing you're begging to turn

00:23:13.000 Oh father, we're knowing you're begging to turn Goodbye, your heart was full of soul

00:23:22.000 If you keep wanting to be your own Oh father, we're knowing you're begging to turn

00:23:30.000 Oh father, we're knowing you're begging to turn Goodbye, your heart was full of soul

00:23:38.000 If you keep wanting to be your own You'll regret your life

00:23:45.000 Oh father, we're knowing you're begging to turn Oh father, we're knowing you're begging to turn

00:23:53.000 Oh father, we're knowing you're begging to turn Goodbye, your heart was full of soul

00:24:00.000 If you keep wanting to be your own You'll regret your life

00:24:07.000 Oh father, we're knowing you're begging to turn Goodbye, your heart was full of soul

00:24:13.000 Here we go.

00:24:17.000 Hey We'll Get excited! Here we go!

00:24:21.000 You can't take today's for granted. We'll be there someday.

00:24:43.000 You can't take today's for granted. We'll be there someday.

00:24:43.000 Alright man.

00:24:59.000 I'm gonna go ahead and get started.

00:25:25.000 Alright.

00:25:31.000 You think when you got there, you think when you got there, you think when you got there, you think when you got there,

00:25:47.000 you, you, you.

00:25:49.000 Up to the Y-B-C, I'm ready to dance. 0.83

00:25:55.000 We are standing by, I hope we shoot there.

00:26:01.000 I'm wishing, I'm meaning to care. 0.99

00:26:06.000 We are standing by, I hope we shoot there.

00:26:12.000 I'm wishing, I'm meaning to care. 0.98

00:27:10.000 Come on.

00:27:10.000 I've thought it all out.

00:27:15.000 you lie come on i thought it all out it just wouldn't work beautiful

00:27:48.000 it just isn't done that way you are going oh yeah i guess so

00:28:15.000 come on is

00:28:43.000 oh i'd like to kiss

00:29:09.000 oh life itself

00:29:35.000 um is

00:30:02.000 so i want you to get

00:30:29.000 Gotta get down.

00:30:30.000 i want you to get down gotta go get, gotta go get

00:30:34.000 it's a strada it's a strada 1.00

00:30:40.000 do that shit out here it's a strada 1.00

00:31:00.000 melt your mouth oh look, some hearing 1.00

00:31:06.000 what are you doing? 1.00

00:31:08.000 i need six feet of fucking distance i stepped into that door knowing 0.99

00:31:12.000 like there's a little bit of racism here Yeah. 0.99

00:31:14.000 Bye.

00:31:18.000 Good lord.

00:31:19.000 Even for me, that was too much.

00:31:22.000 That doesn't even make sense.

00:31:27.000 Red Skull here needs some crackers.

00:31:30.000 Thomas Finnegan with our traffic update.

00:31:32.000 Tell us what's going on this morning there, Thomas.

00:31:36.000 That doesn't sound good.

00:31:43.000 Wow.

00:31:43.000 Nothing good, Steven.

00:31:45.000 Nothing good.

00:31:47.000 What part of the body is this?

00:31:50.000 I'm not, what?

00:31:52.000 Quarterback Garrett? 0.99

00:31:53.000 It's around my anus. 0.96

00:31:55.000 I'm not a scientist so I don't know what we need to fight the coronavirus but I'll tell 0.84

00:32:03.000 you what we want.

00:32:04.000 More Joe Biden coronavirus updates.

00:32:12.000 It's time for, uh, People at Work!

00:32:13.000 Let's go check it out!

00:32:18.000 I'm sorry about this.

00:32:19.000 This is embarrassing.

00:32:20.000 I'm sorry about that.

00:32:20.000 Put on a mask and... Brendan?

00:32:29.000 We're on the same team, Jongi.

00:32:34.000 That remote's not working, man.

00:32:39.000 We live in a COVID quarantine, a COVID quarantine, a COVID quarantine.

00:32:46.000 Go like milk chocolate, milk chocolate, still alive.

00:32:50.000 You're on the same team, Jonny.

00:32:51.000 Go, Alistair!

00:32:52.000 That remote's not working, man.

00:32:54.000 Go like milk chocolate, milk chocolate, still alive.

00:32:58.000 Life-size game.

00:33:00.000 Coronavirus can flow or it can crash.

00:33:04.000 Where you from, Schmuckville?

00:33:07.000 No, don't.

00:33:07.000 Been 5.

00:33:08.000 I'd say that's a wrap.

00:33:10.000 Thanks for watching.

00:33:11.000 I'll see you next time.

00:33:12.000 Bye.

00:33:13.000 Bye. 0.99

00:33:14.000 You're a strange animal, that's what I know... 0.99

00:33:33.000 You're a strange animal, I come to follow... 0.99

00:33:47.000 Come on, come on, come on! 0.97

00:33:49.000 Bring it over here.

00:33:50.000 All right.

00:33:51.000 Glad to be with you.

00:33:51.000 This is the finale.

00:33:53.000 Are you ready?

00:33:54.000 If you will.

00:33:54.000 You don't have to will because it is the finale.

00:33:57.000 You have no choice.

00:33:59.000 It is the end of Mug Club.

00:34:01.000 Use the hashtag Mug Club Quarantine. 0.89

00:34:02.000 The end of Mug Club Quarantine. 0.55

00:34:04.000 Here's that promo code.

00:34:05.000 The promo code is QUARANTINE.

00:34:07.000 You get $30 off.

00:34:08.000 It expires tonight.

00:34:10.000 We're doing two shows a day.

00:34:11.000 Good Morning Mug Club.

00:34:12.000 All that stuff.

00:34:12.000 We have a great show tonight.

00:34:13.000 What we're going to do is we are going to... You know how usually you live to tape?

00:34:19.000 Yeah.

00:34:19.000 Right.

00:34:20.000 Late night shows.

00:34:21.000 This is taped to live.

00:34:23.000 Because we didn't know when there was going to be a press briefing today.

00:34:26.000 They said there wasn't going to be one.

00:34:27.000 It was some meeting with, you know, old people. 0.99

00:34:29.000 But it ended up...

00:34:31.000 It ended up being a press briefing.

00:34:32.000 So most of you were at work or doing whatever, you know, violating federal law in public parks.

00:34:38.000 If you're a mom, perhaps, hopefully you were taken out in zip ties.

00:34:42.000 So we're going to run it as though it's live so you can watch it with us.

00:34:46.000 We will then, after that fact check, four hours of CNN.

00:34:50.000 Ask me why four hours.

00:34:51.000 Why four hours?

00:34:52.000 Because we desperately wanted to get a piece of Chris Cuomo.

00:34:56.000 We prolonged this just for him?

00:34:57.000 Just for Chris Cuomo. 1.00

00:34:58.000 Because he's always threatening to kick people's asses. 1.00

00:35:00.000 Me first. 1.00

00:35:01.000 Me first.

00:35:02.000 Please.

00:35:02.000 I'm in line, Chris Cuomo.

00:35:04.000 I get the biceps don't hack it.

00:35:05.000 They don't happen by accident.

00:35:07.000 You can hit me right on the button and I'm sure that I will fall.

00:35:11.000 See?

00:35:11.000 Giving you an offer.

00:35:12.000 It's open.

00:35:12.000 If not, I'll take it up with your wife.

00:35:14.000 Not because she's your wife, but because she is a public figure who offers health advice. 0.99

00:35:18.000 Florox baths.

00:35:20.000 So we're going to do that.

00:35:21.000 We have so many guests tonight.

00:35:23.000 Well, we have four.

00:35:23.000 But they're big guests.

00:35:25.000 The best guests.

00:35:27.000 We have the Don Jr.

00:35:28.000 Donny, as I call him.

00:35:30.000 We have Nick DiPaolo.

00:35:31.000 We have the Hodge twins.

00:35:32.000 So that's three, but they count as two.

00:35:35.000 Oh, they do.

00:35:35.000 That's true.

00:35:36.000 Unless we're going to the original statute in the Constitution.

00:35:38.000 What do black people count as? 0.85

00:35:39.000 Four-fifths?

00:35:40.000 I feel like twelve-eighths.

00:35:42.000 Three-fifths.

00:35:42.000 I don't know.

00:35:43.000 Which is ironic because they're larger than the average white person.

00:35:47.000 Six-fifths.

00:35:47.000 Certainly the Hodge twins.

00:35:48.000 Six-fifths.

00:35:49.000 Thanks, Wade.

00:35:50.000 So again, the promo code is QUARANTINE.

00:35:53.000 Let's bring up the drinking game rules for tonight.

00:35:54.000 Let's bring up the drinking game rules.

00:35:56.000 This will help you get through the evening with us.

00:35:58.000 Or can we do drinking game rules right now?

00:35:59.000 Oh, drinking game rules.

00:36:00.000 Okay, there you go.

00:36:01.000 Every time that President Donald Trump tonight is misrepresented or CNN requires fact-checking, that's where you take a drink along with us.

00:36:09.000 You should drink some water first.

00:36:11.000 And of course, we will be... Yeah, no, don't drink any water.

00:36:13.000 No, this is going to be a long night of drinking.

00:36:16.000 As well as we'll be doing some giveaways tonight.

00:36:18.000 A lot of giveaways.

00:36:21.000 Should I announce it now, or should I announce the main giveaway later?

00:36:23.000 I think people are going to be excited to hear.

00:36:25.000 We've been kind of teasing him all day.

00:36:27.000 Is it a lock of your hair?

00:36:29.000 Well, he works at a massage parlor, so his mind is always set on teasing.

00:36:32.000 I'm not going to lie.

00:36:33.000 So, we'll be giving away props, we'll be giving away merch items that have been used on the air, but the final major giveaway here today is we will fly... is it one or two?

00:36:44.000 We're going to be flying one selectee winner and a guest with them.

00:36:48.000 Wow.

00:36:49.000 So two?

00:36:50.000 He could have answered two.

00:36:51.000 This lawyer needs a lawyer. 1.00

00:36:54.000 We get it.

00:36:56.000 We will be sending two people out here, bringing two people out here, live in studio to be part of our live studio audience.

00:37:02.000 Which, by the way, it's two benches.

00:37:05.000 This bench is part of the live studio audience usually, and then we move it from the live audience from there to over here.

00:37:10.000 Let me show you.

00:37:11.000 We got the benches.

00:37:12.000 It's normally there.

00:37:14.000 So this is the first part of the live audience here, and then what we're sitting in is here.

00:37:19.000 So you'll come out here, and you'll be like that.

00:37:21.000 You get to sit in the live stream chair.

00:37:23.000 You'll be like this.

00:37:24.000 But no couch.

00:37:25.000 You'll have to sit in a squat position.

00:37:26.000 It's amazing.

00:37:29.000 So you can sit on one of the two casting couches that are here.

00:37:34.000 Half-Asian Bill is all concerned about the giveaway rules, and then he does that. 0.70

00:37:38.000 He solicits people.

00:37:39.000 What are you talking about?

00:37:40.000 There's no ficus or anything in the corner.

00:37:42.000 We're fine.

00:37:42.000 So very important, of course, lawyerly rules.

00:37:45.000 See the official rules for eligibility.

00:37:46.000 Avoid where prohibited.

00:37:48.000 And most importantly, no purchase necessary.

00:37:51.000 But we will be doing, we will be giving these prizes away all day.

00:37:55.000 Has he been drinking?

00:37:56.000 Is he drunk already?

00:37:57.000 He took three shots before the show.

00:37:59.000 Which, by the way, we'll do that once we start.

00:38:00.000 We have the Asian Rosé shot.

00:38:02.000 Good Morning Mug Club.

00:38:04.000 He looks very Asian.

00:38:06.000 Yeah.

00:38:06.000 But then Gibbon, who works here, doesn't.

00:38:08.000 Like, we all thought he was Italian.

00:38:10.000 Yeah, he kind of has an Italian accent.

00:38:11.000 For like six months.

00:38:12.000 And then Good Morning Mug Club, he was like Red Skull within four minutes. 0.90

00:38:16.000 It was like three sips of beer.

00:38:17.000 So we're gonna see how it goes tonight, which is unfortunate because he's also our showrunner tonight.

00:38:21.000 It's like a direct correlation between the show starts this arc here. Yeah, it goes down. That's when you know

00:38:27.000 I made the spreadsheet. We're good like He said it's pre-made.

00:38:31.000 We're going to do the first giveaway later, correct?

00:38:34.000 Yeah.

00:38:34.000 Okay, good.

00:38:35.000 So let's do this.

00:38:36.000 Let's get right to it.

00:38:37.000 We're going to have Reg the Research Bandit on later to live fact-check CNN.

00:38:40.000 Boom.

00:38:40.000 Many of you probably saw some portions of this press conference.

00:38:44.000 Starts off kind of slow.

00:38:45.000 I want to warn you guys.

00:38:46.000 I should introduce everyone, by the way.

00:38:47.000 Half-Asian Bill Richman is here, my lawyer. 0.91

00:38:49.000 Quarter Black Garrett is there, Audio Wade.

00:38:52.000 G. Morgan Jr.

00:38:53.000 is there, Gerald A. Too Cute Maddie is here.

00:38:55.000 I had a burp throw up because she's so cute, it disgusts me.

00:39:00.000 You could fit her in your back pocket, and she's cute, and all the tweets are always like, oh, too cute, Maddie, I want to mail order you.

00:39:10.000 And I don't even think they want to use official postage.

00:39:12.000 Hopefully the show will go off without a hitch, but because we've been doing these morning shows, if Marissa Tomei's biological clock was going like this, my circadian clock is All over.

00:39:25.000 I have no idea what time it is because I've been up at 4 a.m.

00:39:28.000 every single morning.

00:39:29.000 Eat that, Jocko. 0.99

00:39:31.000 Before, did you take any pictures to post?

00:39:34.000 No, I don't.

00:39:34.000 You have to Instagram that.

00:39:35.000 I'm not that self-important.

00:39:38.000 I just get things done.

00:39:40.000 I don't need to talk about it.

00:39:41.000 Couldn't you just get after it?

00:39:42.000 Like that time I had one of the Young Turks whacked. 1.00

00:39:45.000 Um, okay, so we're gonna go... Why did you, why would you make it more awkward than it needs to be?

00:39:50.000 It was delayed.

00:39:50.000 You're delayed?

00:39:51.000 I am, yeah.

00:39:51.000 He's delayed because he's already been drinking.

00:39:53.000 So Mug Club Quarantine is a hashtag.

00:39:54.000 We'll be taking your tweets a little bit later, reading them out loud.

00:39:56.000 Again, remember the drinking game rules?

00:39:58.000 Every time Trump, uh, owns the media right now, he actually is for this first, during the presser.

00:40:05.000 What is it called?

00:40:06.000 It's not a presser.

00:40:06.000 It's like a briefing.

00:40:07.000 It was like meeting with the AARP club.

00:40:11.000 But it turned into a wild bully press.

00:40:14.000 So anytime Donald Trump owns the media, you drink.

00:40:17.000 And then after that, afterward, when we have to live fact-check CNN or they misrepresent Donald Trump, you drink.

00:40:23.000 Audio Wade is here.

00:40:23.000 I can't see Audio Wade.

00:40:24.000 He's like Wilson here.

00:40:25.000 So let's not have another repeat of Wednesday where he was, you know, Mr. Silent Sally over here.

00:40:31.000 the best phrase that was my equivalent to Barack Obama's we weed up so I just

00:40:38.000 threw words we we up all right so we got this Let's start playing today's AARP press briefing of Donald Trump and then four hours of fact-checking.

00:40:48.000 Stay with us because I would like it if you did.

00:40:53.000 But you don't have to.

00:40:54.000 Alright, let's get the volume up.

00:40:57.000 Let me make sure we're getting this up.

00:40:59.000 This is a horrible start.

00:41:00.000 I mean, I like the regimented way that they're sitting.

00:41:02.000 It's like a live guest.

00:41:03.000 Right.

00:41:04.000 I hope we see Dr. Birx again.

00:41:10.000 I cannot hear him at all at this point.

00:41:12.000 We'll get it fixed in a second.

00:41:14.000 You know what?

00:41:15.000 Right before we start the presser, let's start the Asian rosacea. 0.99

00:41:15.000 Let's do this then. 0.99

00:41:18.000 Let's do it.

00:41:19.000 Do we have an idea for that?

00:41:23.000 We've got to get Gibbon in here, right?

00:41:31.000 The camera's live and he's like, oh, I can speak.

00:41:33.000 I can speak to my loved ones live right now, unfiltered, and he ruins everything.

00:41:37.000 Almost everything.

00:41:38.000 You know you're not supposed to speak during intros.

00:41:41.000 Hey.

00:41:41.000 Don't look me in the face.

00:41:42.000 Hey.

00:41:44.000 Hey.

00:41:44.000 Steven's right.

00:41:47.000 Gerbils, come in here.

00:41:48.000 Gerbils!

00:41:48.000 Everyone out there, I want you to tweet us.

00:41:50.000 Who do you think is... Come in here.

00:41:51.000 Come in here.

00:41:51.000 If he says come in here, you come in here.

00:41:52.000 Oh, you're gonna talk on that mic?

00:41:53.000 Okay.

00:41:54.000 Alright.

00:41:54.000 Who do you think is... Who looks more Asian?

00:41:57.000 Between him?

00:41:57.000 Who looks more Asian?

00:41:58.000 Can this go from him?

00:41:59.000 Yeah, look at... That's the... Over by the wall.

00:42:01.000 Okay.

00:42:02.000 Wait.

00:42:03.000 So who's... He's the only Asian I've ever seen who doesn't know how to work a camera. 1.00

00:42:09.000 Over by the wall.

00:42:10.000 Apparently he's not the Asian taking the picture.

00:42:12.000 He's that Asian always flashing the peace symbol at every single monument and fountain. 0.99

00:42:17.000 It is dark in here.

00:42:17.000 I do not know where the camera is.

00:42:18.000 It's over there by the chalkboard.

00:42:19.000 You did Kim.

00:42:20.000 What about me?

00:42:20.000 You were just making a De Niro face.

00:42:21.000 Make that face again. 1.00

00:42:22.000 issues.

00:42:23.000 Alright.

00:42:24.000 So what I want to do is...

00:42:25.000 Wait, wait, wait.

00:42:26.000 You did Kim.

00:42:27.000 What about me?

00:42:28.000 Wait, hold on a second.

00:42:29.000 You were just making a De Niro face.

00:42:30.000 Make that face again. 1.00

00:42:31.000 No, that wasn't the face you were making.

00:42:32.000 Oh, that's not it.

00:42:33.000 It was like this.

00:42:34.000 She was going like...

00:42:35.000 I was in Taxi Driver!

00:42:36.000 So, who looks more Asian than Kim? 0.70

00:42:37.000 Kim.

00:42:40.000 Let's go Bill.

00:42:41.000 We see Bill.

00:42:42.000 We see Goebbels.

00:42:42.000 Let's see Goebbels.

00:42:43.000 Look at that.

00:42:44.000 He looks Italian or Lebanese.

00:42:46.000 I wouldn't believe it until I saw the whiskey.

00:42:49.000 You know, I was born really Asian.

00:42:50.000 I got more white as I aged.

00:42:52.000 Really?

00:42:52.000 That's how it works.

00:42:53.000 Your hair's not even dark.

00:42:54.000 I had Asian eyes as a kid.

00:42:56.000 Really?

00:42:56.000 Oh yeah, that's right, I saw those pictures.

00:42:58.000 You were adorable.

00:42:59.000 Is it racist to say that Asian babies are the cutest, or is that just... No, actually I think it's fact.

00:43:05.000 I wish that if I could have a small child, when I have children, I would wish that I could somehow pass on some hidden gene for an Asian baby without all the other, you know, horrible traits. 1.00

00:43:17.000 Is that why I'm here?

00:43:19.000 Wow.

00:43:19.000 Okay, wait.

00:43:20.000 So, look.

00:43:21.000 Look at his picture.

00:43:21.000 You mean like being good at math and stuff?

00:43:23.000 No, I don't want to be good at math.

00:43:24.000 I want to have people skills.

00:43:27.000 Listen, you're not good at math, you're people skills.

00:43:30.000 Listen, the good at math and not knowing how to interact, that's what's gotten China in hot water with the rest of the globe right now.

00:43:38.000 Not just neighboring Asian countries, all over the world right now, China.

00:43:43.000 There's that photo.

00:43:44.000 Where's that photo?

00:43:44.000 Pull that photo back up.

00:43:45.000 Pull that photo back up.

00:43:46.000 Pull the photo back up.

00:43:47.000 You gotta get to sear this in your memory so for later you can see.

00:43:50.000 And you could also remember that Goebbels looks like a thinner faced Louis C.K.

00:43:55.000 So don't forget that.

00:43:57.000 And I look like a slightly fatter Kim Jong Un.

00:44:00.000 You know what's funny is in this right here, that you look very much like I would picture, you know, a law firm website.

00:44:06.000 Platt, Richmond, like there's Richmond.

00:44:08.000 He looks like a lawyer.

00:44:10.000 And then, uh, Goebbels looks like he's doing a Hollister ad.

00:44:14.000 It looks like we just caught, but you guys did it in the same room.

00:44:16.000 I'm just preparing myself to die a little inside with whatever you're gonna say.

00:44:19.000 I'm okay with the Hollister ad.

00:44:20.000 Yeah, Hollister ad.

00:44:21.000 Honestly, that's pretty, that's tame.

00:44:23.000 And plus, you're generically ethnic, so like, we can tick the box, but you don't intimidate white people.

00:44:28.000 That's right.

00:44:28.000 You know what I mean?

00:44:29.000 People are just like, oh, I feel good about buying these low-cut jeans.

00:44:32.000 I don't.

00:44:33.000 Who cares about the pubic bones on the bag as I walk through the food court because I just supported a minority-owned business.

00:44:39.000 There you go.

00:44:40.000 He makes me look in that photo like I'm about to say, your honor, my client bleeds, not kills me.

00:44:46.000 It's a pedophilia, 77 counts.

00:44:48.000 And your client's name is Sammy the Bull.

00:44:50.000 That's what it looks like in there.

00:44:52.000 Alright, what do you got in there, Gerbles?

00:44:55.000 I'm drinking one of those Belgian-French beers that I can't pronounce.

00:44:58.000 Belgian-French beers that you can't pronounce.

00:45:00.000 How do you pronounce it in your native tongue?

00:45:02.000 Haagen-Dazs! 0.66

00:45:03.000 Right?

00:45:04.000 Hey, that's Korean. 0.86

00:45:05.000 He's Korean.

00:45:07.000 Come on! 0.61

00:45:08.000 When did it become racist to say Ching Chong Ching Chong?

00:45:11.000 Roseanne's got it.

00:45:11.000 That was Rosie.

00:45:12.000 I didn't get that memo.

00:45:13.000 Fat R names.

00:45:16.000 Rosie and Roseanne.

00:45:17.000 It's just totally a hoax.

00:45:18.000 We put that together in China, sent that to you guys, and we're like, we're offended.

00:45:23.000 Imagine the Chinese people do that with English, like saying all English people like... Right? 0.99

00:45:33.000 That's good.

00:45:34.000 It's kind of like in France.

00:45:37.000 They're like... That actually sounds like when my grandparents... When they imitate English? 0.66

00:45:45.000 No, not just imitating English, but when they're like talking shit about me. 0.98

00:45:48.000 Like I know, because they'll be like... Billy. 0.98

00:45:53.000 Failure.

00:45:56.000 Half-breed! 1.00

00:45:57.000 Why don't they go back to English for 50 years? 0.93

00:45:59.000 All right, so now we are going to go live.

00:46:01.000 Let's rewind it just a couple of frames here if we can.

00:46:04.000 Thank you, Goebbels.

00:46:04.000 We'll check back in with you when you look very much like a red pepper.

00:46:09.000 Finish that beer.

00:46:10.000 Yeah, okay.

00:46:11.000 Here we go.

00:46:12.000 Hail to the chief!

00:46:13.000 Bring him up.

00:46:14.000 Well, thank you very much.

00:46:15.000 Please.

00:46:15.000 Look, he heard me.

00:46:16.000 Oh, yeah.

00:46:17.000 Mud Club Quarantine.

00:46:18.000 Hashtag Mud Club Quarantine. 0.86

00:46:19.000 Live fact-checking for four hours after this.

00:46:20.000 Good guy.

00:46:21.000 Sign a proclamation declaring the month of May to be Older Americans Month.

00:46:27.000 I don't know if I'm in that category.

00:46:29.000 Turn it up a little bit.

00:46:30.000 I have a feeling I am.

00:46:31.000 He has a dry voice.

00:46:32.000 He sounds tired.

00:46:33.000 I feel good.

00:46:33.000 He does.

00:46:34.000 It's been a long time.

00:46:35.000 And I'm going to try and not talk too much during this portion because I know you guys want to hear it.

00:46:40.000 We can bring this up post-conference, right?

00:46:43.000 When we need to.

00:46:44.000 We're here today to discuss the unprecedented steps that we're taking to protect our seniors from the virus.

00:46:52.000 I'll also announce vital new actions to safeguard our nursing homes and most vulnerable citizens as we gradually and safely reopen our country and it's very exciting to see what's happening.

00:47:04.000 We're joined today by Secretary Alex Azar.

00:47:07.000 Thank you.

00:47:08.000 Secretary Robert Wilkie.

00:47:10.000 Robert, thank you very much.

00:47:11.000 Administrator Seema Verma.

00:47:14.000 Thank you.

00:47:14.000 Great job.

00:47:16.000 Why didn't I get a great job?

00:47:18.000 He's like a grandmother with Werthers. 1.00

00:47:19.000 You have a great job.

00:47:20.000 You have a great job.

00:47:21.000 Terrible.

00:47:21.000 Bureau General Joseph. He's like a grandmother with Werther's like

00:47:25.000 Advocates for America seniors who are here with us today.

00:47:35.000 Thank you all very much as we tragically Yeah.

00:47:42.000 seen, the virus poses the greatest risk to older Americans.

00:47:47.000 Together as one nation, we mourn for every precious life that has been lost.

00:47:51.000 Almost like every virus.

00:47:52.000 And there have been many. There have been many. We're so saddened by it. Through our

00:47:58.000 aggressive actions and the devotion of our doctors and nurses, however, we have held

00:48:03.000 our fatality rate far below hard-hit other countries such as Spain and Italy and United

00:48:10.000 Kingdom in Sweden.

00:48:13.000 We're way below other countries.

00:48:15.000 We're deploying every tool, resource, and power at our disposal to protect our seniors and Americans of every age and background.

00:48:25.000 Early on, we implemented life-saving travel restrictions and directed billions of dollars toward the development of therapies and vaccines.

00:48:33.000 He's going to.

00:48:34.000 He's going to.

00:48:34.000 He has a Q&A that's rip-off.

00:48:36.000 We moved at a speed that people are absolutely stunned to see.

00:48:44.000 We accelerated treatments, including remdesivir, which is reportedly showing encouraging preliminary results.

00:48:52.000 That was the very big story yesterday.

00:48:54.000 It was announced by Gilead in early March.

00:48:59.000 He practiced that word.

00:49:00.000 Gilead, first name Terry.

00:49:01.000 First name Terry.

00:49:13.000 We took action to step up enforcement.

00:49:15.000 Yeah, what was the law in New York with nursing homes?

00:49:18.000 I think Reg can probably put that information.

00:49:20.000 They had a law where they really screwed up, where they basically put them all in nursing homes. 0.95

00:49:25.000 Oh, I think they forced them to take in some people with COVID patients.

00:49:28.000 Yeah, it was awful in New York.

00:49:30.000 It was a disaster.

00:49:31.000 Which, I mean, But that being said, I also kind of understand old people in nursing homes, right? 0.94

00:49:35.000 I mean, you can't take them out and put them in general hospitals, but it was a disaster for New York.

00:49:40.000 Especially when you look at the numbers, of course, where New York, I think it was 95% of people were over the age of 70.

00:49:45.000 It's just, it's unfortunate, but it was, God, what a nightmare in New York for old folks' homes.

00:49:53.000 First they have the syphilis, and then they got the COVID.

00:49:58.000 The COVID doesn't get you, the clap will.

00:50:01.000 And we're helping them to live independently.

00:50:06.000 We dramatically expanded access to telehealth, a very big deal for Medicare beneficiaries.

00:50:13.000 The number of Medicare patients using telehealth has increased from roughly 11,000 a week to more than 650,000 people a week.

00:50:21.000 So that's from 11,000 a week to 650,000.

00:50:22.000 Amazing.

00:50:23.000 So that's from 11,000 a week to 650,000.

00:50:28.000 That's almost an impossible number to believe, right?

00:50:32.000 But it's really, uh, it's really something.

00:50:34.000 I think that's a drink.

00:50:35.000 I think that's an ome, right?

00:50:38.000 You don't believe it, do you?

00:50:41.000 It's almost an unbelievable number.

00:50:43.000 And the reason I say that is because you didn't believe it, and you didn't believe it, and you didn't believe it. 1.00

00:50:49.000 You were all equally pieces of unbelieving shit. 1.00

00:50:53.000 needs one. Nobody who's needed a ventilator has been without a ventilator. 1.00

00:50:57.000 I'm surprised that the president doesn't have like an oversized American flag pin

00:51:02.000 just to be like I'm wearing the largest pin. It's the largest. No president's

00:51:07.000 worn a pin as large. I'm surprised he's not out there with a novelty hand mitt.

00:51:11.000 Here's that source from Reg.

00:51:14.000 Yeah, NBC News.

00:51:16.000 Yeah, that's right.

00:51:17.000 They were forced to take recovering patients.

00:51:19.000 So they were sent back in really before it would have been appropriate to do so.

00:51:24.000 And I know you guys know most of this stuff, and I think what we can probably do is we can probably skip the other experts before the Q&A, because they're going to repeat what he says.

00:51:38.000 But this is important, because keep in mind, HuffPo, BuzzFeed, Reddit, which really is just an extension of those at this point, they were saying that Donald Trump was trying to hold people hostage, that he was using lives as a negotiation tactic when he wasn't sending 40,000 ventilators to New York.

00:51:55.000 They never needed them.

00:51:56.000 They never needed the 40,000.

00:51:57.000 They had what they needed.

00:51:58.000 Other states had what they needed.

00:51:59.000 And then other countries now are getting ventilators from us.

00:52:02.000 We've had more than enough.

00:52:04.000 They wanted you to think that Donald Trump was trying to hold it back from states because he's this tyrannical dictator who wanted people to die.

00:52:10.000 It's not true.

00:52:11.000 We have more than enough ventilators, and we've gotten them out quickly. 0.97

00:52:15.000 Right, and for everybody out there on Facebook, we've still got idiots out there texting, tweeting, whatever they're doing on social media, saying, oh, no ventilators for people. 0.98

00:52:23.000 He made a very fine point of it. 0.98

00:52:24.000 Nobody who has needed a ventilator has been denied one.

00:52:27.000 Period.

00:52:27.000 End of story.

00:52:27.000 I don't think we're on Facebook.

00:52:28.000 We got temporarily banned because we weren't. 1.00

00:52:31.000 There are morons aplenty. 0.79

00:52:33.000 Yeah, we had the gall to run those doctors from Bakersfield who were talking about their 2,000 close patients who they tested and got antibody testing and they said that the lockdown probably wouldn't work, that it had a lower fatality rate than initially projected, and then Facebook removed our stream. 0.99

00:52:45.000 You know, listening to doctors, it's always been just a terrible plan apparently.

00:52:52.000 Unless it's a doctor who's brilliant, looks like Geppetto without a mustache, and hasn't seen a patient in 20 years.

00:53:02.000 So you know before when at Tesla they were making additional ventilators, what the media was calling ventilators? 1.00

00:53:08.000 Shit! 1.00

00:53:08.000 What are we doing with Italy? 1.00

00:53:09.000 Well, really, they were making, I think, CPAP machines and similar type machines and giving

00:53:13.000 them and the hospitals were very thankful.

00:53:16.000 And someone said, oh, no, you didn't give anything.

00:53:17.000 And the hospitals were like, no, we did get breathing machines.

00:53:20.000 And now more recently, you're seeing nurses and other folks who are coming out on social

00:53:24.000 media raising questions about the continuous use of ventilators because they're a more

00:53:28.000 extreme version, the pressure they put on the lungs.

00:53:30.000 Yes, they were saying that CPAPs and those machines like that are actually better if

00:53:34.000 the patient can breathe on their own in like a pressurized environment, but not nearly

00:53:38.000 as severe as ventilators.

00:53:39.000 Now, we have to caveat, because we don't want to get banned, the science isn't totally in now, but there are a lot of people saying that actually we would rather, you know, it's like training wheels before you go to the last resort, right?

00:53:50.000 You don't want to put them on a ventilator if you can use something that assists with them breathing by themselves.

00:53:56.000 And a lot of people didn't know what to do in this situation to treat a patient, and so the ventilator was kind of like this catch.

00:54:01.000 Like, okay, ventilator, ventilator.

00:54:03.000 But hold on a second, he's back up.

00:54:05.000 I do want to say, you mentioned the word governor, and we've had a lot of great success in relationship with governors.

00:54:12.000 He's like an improv guy.

00:54:13.000 He's like, did someone say, did someone say governor?

00:54:16.000 Pick a profession.

00:54:17.000 Doctor!

00:54:18.000 Horse trainer!

00:54:19.000 Dentist!

00:54:20.000 I heard governor.

00:54:22.000 The Governor at Starbucks.

00:54:24.000 Oh, okay, there's your latte.

00:54:26.000 I didn't order a latte.

00:54:28.000 You're supposed to play along.

00:54:30.000 It's yes, and.

00:54:32.000 There's your latte, constituent.

00:54:36.000 This is tremendous progress. 0.99

00:54:38.000 I don't want to cast dispersions, but you suck at improv.

00:54:44.000 I'm not as young as you, so... 0.52

00:54:47.000 And we have others coming in.

00:54:48.000 They'll come in one or two a day and we're seeing them and whatever we can help them with.

00:54:54.000 Now to be clear folks, the reason we're running this is because I know that we couldn't do it live earlier, otherwise it would have been a seven hour stream.

00:54:59.000 We want you to see this.

00:55:01.000 So that then you understand the live fact-checking coverage.

00:55:04.000 We've been doing this obviously all week, doing two shows a day, where we'll watch these press conferences and go, oh my gosh, I can't believe that this is what Chris Cuomo is saying tonight!

00:55:11.000 I can't believe that this is what Don Lemon is saying!

00:55:12.000 We just watched it!

00:55:13.000 So we want you to experience that.

00:55:15.000 It's one thing to just watch the press briefing, which is what most conservatives do.

00:55:19.000 It's another thing to just watch CNN or MSNBC, which is what most leftists do. 0.95

00:55:23.000 We want you to watch the conference with us, for yourselves, and then watch CNN and see how wrong they get it.

00:55:31.000 Actually, I should go one step further.

00:55:32.000 They don't get it wrong.

00:55:33.000 They proactively twist it.

00:55:34.000 Yeah, they intentionally twist it to fit their worldview.

00:55:37.000 Most people don't know that.

00:55:38.000 Speaking of twisted, that guy's face is very asymmetrical.

00:55:40.000 I think it was the stroke.

00:55:43.000 Don't make that joke.

00:55:44.000 The last time we made the joke about Richard Painter, it turned out he had shingles.

00:55:47.000 He actually had a stroke?

00:55:50.000 He actually had shingles.

00:55:51.000 This guy?

00:55:55.000 You can't do that to us!

00:55:57.000 Gerald!

00:55:58.000 We trust you, Bill!

00:55:59.000 You say it's not a joke.

00:56:00.000 I'm in the fact-checking... Yeah, it's like my mom.

00:56:02.000 My mom is French-Canadian.

00:56:03.000 She doesn't understand.

00:56:04.000 She'd be like, Stephen, I'm sorry, your father is... He's dead.

00:56:08.000 I'm like, what?

00:56:09.000 I'm not... This is... It's so unexpected.

00:56:12.000 I'm like, Mom, how did he die?

00:56:13.000 I got you!

00:56:17.000 It's like, you mean you just lied?

00:56:19.000 Yeah!

00:56:20.000 That's funny!

00:56:21.000 No, it's not!

00:56:23.000 I thought my biological father had assumed room temperature, Mom!

00:56:28.000 I know!

00:56:29.000 And I'm five!

00:56:31.000 I'm so random!

00:56:32.000 No! 1.00

00:56:33.000 No, you're a sociopath! 1.00

00:56:36.000 The humor skipped a generation on the mother's side. 1.00

00:56:39.000 Yeah.

00:56:39.000 Oh my gosh.

00:56:40.000 No, she actually has a great sense of humor, but every now and then it gets really dark.

00:56:43.000 And I think she thinks it's acceptable because we have kind of a dark sense of humor.

00:56:49.000 So she doesn't realize, like, no, but it needs to come with either a wink and a nod or a twist, you know?

00:56:54.000 You can't be too good at the story.

00:56:56.000 The prestige, if you will. 0.97

00:56:57.000 Instead, she just ends up kicking you in the face. 1.00

00:57:00.000 Yeah, and you're like, well, that's not... Get it?

00:57:02.000 Thanks.

00:57:04.000 It's not my fault you don't like to laugh.

00:57:06.000 You don't get joke.

00:57:09.000 ...have protected our country in the hardest of times.

00:57:12.000 So are these the experts he was bringing up that you were talking about?

00:57:14.000 He's the governor of Tennessee.

00:57:15.000 Oh, governor of Tennessee.

00:57:16.000 ...a loving legacy of being our neighbors and our friends and our grandparents.

00:57:19.000 You're the only 10 I see, Wade.

00:57:20.000 And it's time for us to protect them.

00:57:23.000 And we should do so by...

00:57:28.000 pursuing social distancing, for example, in every way that we can with them.

00:57:32.000 And the distance is sometimes a great goal if I haven't hugged my own

00:57:35.000 elderly mom in eight weeks. But we're doing right by these citizens, and you're doing right.

00:57:40.000 He didn't mention his mother-in-law.

00:57:41.000 By holding on to these citizens to make sure that they, that we do our personal part to make sure that they're safe.

00:57:49.000 And while valuing our freedoms all at the same time.

00:57:53.000 So while I think, as a country, we may be hard-pressed on many sides, we are not crushed.

00:57:57.000 And we are grateful for your leadership and for this team's leadership.

00:58:01.000 That being said, I do like that he's looking at Donald Trump like, uh... Is this okay?

00:58:05.000 That's fine, you can say that.

00:58:07.000 Continue.

00:58:08.000 He's getting the slight nod.

00:58:10.000 Look, he's gonna say something complimentary about him and crappy to the media.

00:58:14.000 As we take steps to safely reopen our country... What did he just say?

00:58:20.000 He's a great governor, by the way.

00:58:22.000 Yeah.

00:58:23.000 I knew it!

00:58:24.000 Great man.

00:58:25.000 Great governor, by the way. 1.00

00:58:26.000 Not like that whore in Michigan! 1.00

00:58:32.000 That's what people tell me. 1.00

00:58:33.000 That's what they tell me.

00:58:33.000 I would never say that.

00:58:34.000 You see, earlier, whenever he was like, we have a lot of great governors.

00:58:37.000 Some aren't so great, but that's okay.

00:58:40.000 That's okay.

00:58:41.000 You know who I'm talking about.

00:58:42.000 Very talented.

00:58:44.000 But it's mostly not okay.

00:58:45.000 But I'm saying it.

00:58:46.000 And then sometimes it's not okay.

00:58:46.000 But it's okay, too.

00:58:48.000 But then it's also okay.

00:58:51.000 So there's that.

00:58:52.000 He loves them as they are.

00:58:53.000 Terrible.

00:58:54.000 They really appreciated it.

00:58:55.000 They really do.

00:58:56.000 You've done a fantastic job.

00:58:57.000 Look at it.

00:58:58.000 So generous with the compliments.

00:59:01.000 FEMA will send supplemental shipments of personal protective equipment to all 15,400 Medicaid and Medicare-certified nursing homes in America.

00:59:12.000 Right, babe?

00:59:13.000 Second, CMS is providing states with 81 million dollars from the CARES Act to finish their inspections of nursing homes at this very critical time.

00:59:23.000 You have to do that.

00:59:26.000 That's a spot.

00:59:28.000 Spot that we have to take care of.

00:59:29.000 I guess you could call it a little bit of a weak spot because things are happening at the nursing homes and we're not We're not happy about that.

00:59:37.000 We don't want it to happen, so we're checking that out very carefully and methodically.

00:59:40.000 This is an example where you never see it in the media.

00:59:43.000 You hear always these, you know, Trump never cares, he never talks about certain people, certain groups taking care of, you know, the older folks.

00:59:50.000 But then you hear these statements where he's literally just made an admission that things are not as great as he would have wanted them to be, and taking on a measure of responsibility.

00:59:59.000 old people because let's be honest if he weren't president he'd see his own

01:00:03.000 reflection in their pearly dentures right he could be amongst them yeah I

01:00:08.000 mean it's a bit I mean not with the billions of dollars but you know well

01:00:10.000 like a really nice one through a baby monitor I mean state scientists resident

01:00:19.000 and patient advocates family members by the way when he brings the next expert

01:00:24.000 that will do the first giveaway And then we'll come back with the Q&A.

01:00:28.000 And then we have Donald Trump Jr.

01:00:30.000 Yeah.

01:00:30.000 Huge.

01:00:30.000 Not quite as huge as him.

01:00:32.000 you are on the agents for further steps we can take to protect our nation's seniors.

01:00:37.000 My administration will never waver in its relentless commitment to America's seniors.

01:00:42.000 We owe them a sacred and unbreakable obligation, and we will fulfill that obligation with every

01:00:48.000 resource and power that we can.

01:00:49.000 I'm pretty sure his commitment to American seniors will be twisted as denigrating the young and xenophobic, because he didn't mention, you know, Russian seniors, Icelandic seniors, the young in Denmark.

01:01:04.000 President Trump doesn't care about the crushing debt seniors are imposing.

01:01:08.000 I just don't care about seniors.

01:01:12.000 Oh wow.

01:01:13.000 He's definitely going to get one of those, didn't mention Puerto Rico, American Guam, American Samoa.

01:01:19.000 I can already hear their articles being written right now.

01:01:23.000 You can hear them being written.

01:01:24.000 Somewhere Tulsi Gabbard is laughing because she's going to pick up those states. 0.99

01:01:39.000 We'll show them the same love and loyalty they've shown us and they've shown our nation every day of their lives.

01:01:45.000 Sometimes they're a little persnickety though.

01:01:48.000 Let's be honest here.

01:01:48.000 Let's be honest.

01:01:50.000 And I hate the whole OK Boomer thing.

01:01:52.000 I think we should respect our elders more, obviously.

01:01:55.000 But talking about the loyalty that seniors show us, where are they going to go?

01:02:01.000 I'm not going to walk here by myself, not without my daughter across Canada.

01:02:05.000 You know what I mean?

01:02:07.000 They're pretty much stationary. 0.99

01:02:09.000 That's why they're so easy to kill.

01:02:11.000 What you're missing is that he's already campaigning for Florida. 0.93

01:02:14.000 Listen, all of you.

01:02:16.000 Literally all of you.

01:02:18.000 We've lost too many of our seniors to this horrible virus, to a horrible social safety net, and gators. 1.00

01:02:27.000 One or two at Epcot.

01:02:28.000 I don't know why they build those soapbox homes right next to Gator Ponds.

01:02:31.000 Alright, we're gonna go to the first giveaway here.

01:02:33.000 So, do we show the commercial first?

01:02:35.000 Our very first giveaway is actually going to be signed by me, or monogrammed, what's the proper legal term, does it matter?

01:02:41.000 Personalized.

01:02:42.000 Personalized props, see if you can guess it, from this exact sketch.

01:02:48.000 My Little Tupac, My Little Tupac, grab your piece and do rad. 0.92

01:02:54.000 My Little Tupac, My Little Tupac, we know you used to be a theater fag. 1.00

01:03:00.000 My Little Tupac, My Little Tupac, we'll kick it with blunts and crystal. 1.00

01:03:05.000 My Little Tupac, My Little Tupac, let's kill Biggie Smalls. 0.99

01:03:11.000 I love you, My Little Tupac. 0.97

01:03:15.000 My Little Tupac, each sold separately.

01:03:21.000 All right.

01:03:21.000 I don't know if you can guess it.

01:03:23.000 Can you guess it?

01:03:23.000 I think someone was thinking we're giving a 1911 away.

01:03:28.000 Hey, how are we giving these away, by the way?

01:03:30.000 We're going to ship them out.

01:03:31.000 Are we picking them from Mug Club? 0.82

01:03:33.000 Yeah.

01:03:33.000 So we've picked them from people, all kinds of folks who signed up for Mug Club.

01:03:37.000 We also, of course, no purchase necessary.

01:03:39.000 We had alternate entries as well.

01:03:40.000 Picked those at random.

01:03:41.000 All the people who are supporting.

01:03:43.000 The show, literally, the people who are making this happen without Mug Club could not happen. 0.98

01:03:49.000 So we dug deep into the prop house so we can fuzzily show you a little Tupac.

01:03:57.000 My Little Tupac by Hasbro.

01:04:00.000 This is why I went to law school, right here.

01:04:01.000 right here.

01:04:02.000 Right here.

01:04:03.000 Right here.

01:04:04.000 See what I did there?

01:04:05.000 That's good.

01:04:06.000 Oh boy.

01:04:07.000 Guys, he found the camera.

01:04:08.000 There he is.

01:04:09.000 There he is.

01:04:10.000 He found the camera.

01:04:12.000 Can you see me, Dad?

01:04:15.000 The little hidden camera.

01:04:16.000 I'm going to put this on the... I don't want to do it because people will say that's a hate crime.

01:04:24.000 I thought we were going to do the winner later.

01:04:24.000 That's true.

01:04:27.000 Let me show the winner.

01:04:28.000 Who's the winner, Michael?

01:04:30.000 Michael H. from California.

01:04:33.000 Should we be saying his name in the city?

01:04:36.000 I don't know.

01:04:37.000 We doxxed you, Mike.

01:04:39.000 OJ might show up for his memorabilia.

01:04:43.000 My little Tupac with my ideas, son.

01:04:46.000 I'm not saying I stole it, but if I did...

01:04:49.000 By the way, how do you feel about killing?

01:04:51.000 All right, all right.

01:04:53.000 We'll go back now live to the Trump press.

01:04:55.000 We're going to go to the question and answer portion because you don't need to see the other folks.

01:04:58.000 You just want to see the Don.

01:04:59.000 That's right.

01:05:00.000 We might venture into different territory also, I think.

01:05:04.000 John, please.

01:05:07.000 I guess.

01:05:09.000 Not a wise one, but it's... We could venture straight into other territory.

01:05:12.000 The Vice President said just a short time ago he believes that General Michael Flynn may have unintentionally lied to him or misspoken when he talked to him and did not include his meeting with the Russian ambassador to the United States.

01:05:28.000 Do you believe that General Flynn may have unintentionally Well, I really have to talk to the Vice President, but I'll tell you what, General Flynn was under enormous pressure, and it was an artificial pressure, because what they did to General Flynn was a disgrace.

01:05:43.000 It was a total disgrace.

01:05:44.000 It's shocking.

01:05:45.000 And I hear even more information came out today.

01:05:48.000 What they tried to do to destroy him and to hurt this presidency was, perhaps in our country's history, there's never been anything like it.

01:05:57.000 An absolute disgrace.

01:05:58.000 Perhaps.

01:05:59.000 But I'll rely on what the Vice President said.

01:06:02.000 I can say this, and I think you understand this, John, very well.

01:06:06.000 What happened to General Flynn should never happen again to a citizen of this country.

01:06:09.000 Yes, please.

01:06:10.000 I consider that a media frame.

01:06:15.000 They're not six feet apart.

01:06:17.000 Where are their masks?

01:06:18.000 I wouldn't be six feet apart if she was the reporter in question. 0.54

01:06:21.000 Or Dr. Birx.

01:06:21.000 It's not those groups.

01:06:26.000 So you were gay happy! 0.99

01:06:27.000 Overrated. 0.99

01:06:27.000 I don't like roots. 0.99

01:06:28.000 You see this?

01:06:28.000 You see this right here?

01:06:30.000 He's in a uniform.

01:06:31.000 But he'd have to use that power if he's exonerated.

01:06:34.000 Overrated.

01:06:35.000 I don't think I've ever seen anything like it.

01:06:36.000 What they did, what they wrote, you see this, General, you wouldn't want this happening

01:06:40.000 to you, what they did to General Flynn.

01:06:41.000 You see this?

01:06:42.000 You see this right here?

01:06:43.000 It's just dispassionate.

01:06:44.000 He's in a uniform.

01:06:45.000 So, you know, I guess we'll get to that maybe someday or maybe not.

01:06:49.000 Hopefully we won't have to get there.

01:06:51.000 So what do you think is bringing him back into your administration?

01:06:55.000 Well I think he's a fine man.

01:06:56.000 I think it's terrible what they did to him.

01:06:59.000 It's something that nobody's asked me, but you're asking me for the first time.

01:07:02.000 I would certainly consider it.

01:07:04.000 Yeah, I would.

01:07:05.000 I think he's a fine man.

01:07:08.000 I think he's got a great family.

01:07:10.000 He loves his son.

01:07:11.000 And you can just hear right now another part of their bogus Russia probe just unraveling.

01:07:19.000 Right now, Don Lemon's going, but I needed that!

01:07:25.000 And Donald Trump's just the cat with the ball of yarn.

01:07:28.000 Oh, good.

01:07:29.000 I might rehire Flynn.

01:07:30.000 No!

01:07:31.000 In what capacity would you bring him back?

01:07:34.000 Well, look, I mean, I'm not even, this is really the first time I've been asked the question, but I think he'll be fully exonerated one way or the other.

01:07:42.000 And so certainly he'd be capable of coming back.

01:07:44.000 He suffered greatly.

01:07:47.000 And I'll be asking Donald Trump Jr.

01:07:50.000 about Flynn.

01:07:51.000 Obviously, I think the question everyone wants answered is, why did he plead guilty?

01:07:55.000 Could you lift that up a little bit?

01:07:59.000 Your son-in-law, one of your top advisors, Jared Kushner, yesterday said the government's response has been a quote, great success story.

01:08:06.000 Is that the right tone and message at a moment when people are still dying?

01:08:13.000 Other things that I talk about in my speech today, that I speak about all the time, and that's death.

01:08:17.000 You think it's success when people have died?

01:08:18.000 Yes.

01:08:19.000 When it's 60,000 instead of 2.2 million, like you guys quoted?

01:08:25.000 I'd call that a success.

01:08:28.000 When?

01:08:28.000 Doesn't mean that deaths are a note of success, they're not a metric of success, but the lives saved, yes.

01:08:38.000 And the world has suffered greatly.

01:08:41.000 But what Jared was talking about, and what I talk about a lot, is no, I don't think anybody's done the job that we've done, other than at Public Relations, because the press just won't talk about the facts.

01:08:55.000 A ventilator problem that was caused by the fact that we weren't left ventilators by a previous administration.

01:09:02.000 The cupboards were bare, as I say often.

01:09:05.000 And unnamed.

01:09:06.000 Unnamed.

01:09:08.000 And I know you're out there thinking, was it Grover Cleveland's first or second administration?

01:09:13.000 Listen, I don't want to cast dispersions, but the covers were left bare.

01:09:18.000 And it wasn't William Taft, okay?

01:09:22.000 I know some of you are thinking, McKinley?

01:09:24.000 No.

01:09:25.000 Hoover! 0.62

01:09:27.000 I don't know if there's a Hoover.

01:09:28.000 I don't think there's a Hoover.

01:09:29.000 Presidency?

01:09:30.000 Yeah.

01:09:30.000 No, he's fake.

01:09:31.000 He's fake. 0.71

01:09:33.000 Wow.

01:09:33.000 No, he's not fake.

01:09:34.000 Let's dig into that.

01:09:35.000 Come on, let's dig into that.

01:09:36.000 He's looking a little pink on screen.

01:09:38.000 He is looking a little red.

01:09:40.000 He called me to talk about South Korea.

01:09:42.000 They've done a really good job, but he said, what a job you've done.

01:09:45.000 This is a much bigger country, you understand.

01:09:48.000 You mean you're changing the denominator?

01:09:49.000 Basic masks!

01:09:49.000 You know we had a talk with some country today.

01:09:51.000 Listen, listen, I don't like you, okay?

01:09:52.000 All of the things, we've solved every problem, we solved it quickly.

01:09:56.000 But to think that now we're giving thousands of ventilators to other countries, allies

01:10:01.000 and other than allies, to be honest.

01:10:03.000 You know we had a talk with some country today.

01:10:08.000 Listen, listen, I don't like you, okay?

01:10:12.000 But I'll send you some CPAP.

01:10:15.000 I want you to know that I'll remember this.

01:10:18.000 I do not like you, Egypt. 1.00

01:10:23.000 I farted on one out of a thousand. 0.98

01:10:26.000 You're never going to know which one.

01:10:28.000 Good luck!

01:10:31.000 But I will give you one more chance, Egypt. 1.00

01:10:33.000 They were building cars and other things, and now we're building thousands a week.

01:10:37.000 It's funny because the fart in a CPAP, it would have to be so directional.

01:10:42.000 No, what's great about it is, then they put the mask on and it's just like... In Egypt, I assume that's how they talk. 0.77

01:10:52.000 That's something, yeah.

01:10:53.000 A good Egyptian.

01:10:53.000 The Armenian people are really very, very strong.

01:10:58.000 We're very proud of the job we've done.

01:11:00.000 We had very little to work with because the previous administration left us very... Ooh, that one was important.

01:11:06.000 Drink the previous.

01:11:08.000 Not the indefinite article.

01:11:11.000 Yeah, that was great.

01:11:25.000 Well, I need it, and I sign it, and we do have executive orders, and they help us a lot, and they've helped us a very lot here.

01:11:33.000 We also sign things having to do with production, as you know.

01:11:37.000 I've used that very, very powerfully, the Act.

01:11:41.000 You don't look very pink. 1.00

01:11:43.000 No, I just wanted to say I'm kicking your red ass. 1.00

01:11:45.000 sister. No sister to or brainpower or what you don't look very big. 1.00

01:11:53.000 Yeah, I just wanted to say I'm kicking your red ass. That's true. Let me see. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Same camera. I don't know. 1.00

01:12:04.000 It does make a difference.

01:12:09.000 I don't know.

01:12:09.000 We'll have you come back in once you've gotten a little more liquor in you.

01:12:13.000 It couldn't have been me because I'm that Asian that doesn't know how to use cameras. 1.00

01:12:15.000 Alright, I know I told you to drink responsibly tonight, now drink very responsibly.

01:12:20.000 One, you can take an Uber home.

01:12:21.000 Two, I'm drinking whiskey.

01:12:23.000 What are you drinking?

01:12:25.000 I gotta move up to whiskey.

01:12:29.000 Oh really?

01:12:30.000 Alright, we'll check back in with our Asian rosacea afterwards. 0.53

01:12:34.000 I want to see lobster next.

01:12:37.000 I will say this.

01:12:38.000 Governor Murphy and Governor Cuomo have a tougher situation because that's really a hotbed.

01:12:43.000 That's a very, very dense area.

01:12:46.000 People don't realize.

01:12:47.000 I think New Jersey, believe it or not, is the single most dense area in the country.

01:12:51.000 Who would think that?

01:12:53.000 Because who wants to be New Jersey?

01:12:53.000 Really?

01:12:55.000 And I didn't know that there was enough room left since Kevin Smith lives there.

01:12:57.000 working very very hard and I didn't know that there was enough room left since

01:13:02.000 Kevin Smith lives there. But it's so quiet.

01:13:09.000 It's because my fat joke landed flat.

01:13:11.000 Oh.

01:13:12.000 He's lost weight.

01:13:13.000 What's the question?

01:13:14.000 I think the operation is doing really well.

01:13:16.000 I think that things are being discovered that you wouldn't have thought possible.

01:13:21.000 The Abbott machine, Abbott Laboratories, a great, great scientific company, they came

01:13:27.000 up with a machine that I would say two months ago nobody ever heard of this machine.

01:13:31.000 And all of a sudden, boom, people come into my office, they get tested, it takes them

01:13:35.000 five minutes and they feel very good.

01:13:37.000 of them have never been tested.

01:13:40.000 How much do you want to bet that every time someone comes into his office and gets tested that Donald, President Donald Trump actually goes, boom!

01:13:46.000 Boom! 0.99

01:13:46.000 Tested! 0.99

01:13:46.000 Boom! 0.99

01:13:46.000 at a bath. 0.99

01:13:47.000 Matt, Charlie Brushhead, Matt, he's fine.

01:13:50.000 Randy.

01:13:51.000 And we're over six million tests.

01:13:54.000 And you know that when the president gets within 100 years.

01:13:55.000 How much do you want to bet that every time someone comes into his office and gets tested

01:13:57.000 that Donald, President Donald Trump actually goes, boom, boom, tested, boom, tested.

01:14:06.000 Unbelievable work.

01:14:07.000 And when somebody uses the word successful, I mean, it really has been successful.

01:14:12.000 It's been very successful.

01:14:13.000 But if you look at mortality and mortality rates, you know, this country, it's a very sad thing to be talking about.

01:14:21.000 Whoever thought you'd be talking about such a thing two months ago was... All we talked about was the economy.

01:14:25.000 Sounds very Jewish when he says that.

01:14:27.000 Whoever thought you'd be talking about such a thing?

01:14:28.000 Yes, President Trump, all the press talked about was how good the economy was doing. 0.95

01:14:33.000 I love how he forces their hand with that, like, you probably know this, I know you know this, and so people don't want to seem like an idiot, so like, mm-hmm, I do know this, you probably know this, we had the best economy ever, mm-hmm, wait, nope, but the camera's off them. 0.92

01:14:45.000 Remember when that was all we were talking about? 0.96

01:14:52.000 Well, China doesn't want to see me elected. And the reason is that we're getting billions and

01:14:59.000 billions of dollars, many billions of dollars a month from China. China never gave our country

01:15:04.000 anything. China gave us nothing, not 10 cents. And whether it was Biden in charge of China,

01:15:11.000 which was a joke because he ripped off, they ripped off our country for eight years.

01:15:15.000 And in all fairness to Biden and Obama, this went on long before they got into office.

01:15:22.000 You can go through many administrations until I came along.

01:15:26.000 Then we signed a trade deal where they're supposed to buy, and they've been buying a lot actually, but that now becomes secondary to what took place with the virus.

01:15:35.000 The virus situation is just not acceptable.

01:15:40.000 Like a father with a child.

01:15:45.000 I'm not mad.

01:15:46.000 They would take this country for a ride like you've never seen before.

01:15:49.000 They would take this country for a ride like you've never seen before.

01:15:56.000 Oh, I don't want to catch dispersions, but sleepy Joe Biden.

01:16:02.000 Unemployment numbers coming out today. 30 million now unemployed.

01:16:08.000 Have you given any thought to possibly extending?

01:16:11.000 Yeah, the press is really taking the mask rule seriously. 0.98

01:16:14.000 Look how much crap they gave Pence. 0.99

01:16:16.000 The one guy has it under his chin like it's a clamshell. 1.00

01:16:20.000 And the other one has it like it's Bing Crosby's pipe down to the right on her neck. 0.97

01:16:25.000 Like, just stylishly asymmetrical.

01:16:28.000 The guy has it just loose right here.

01:16:30.000 It's full of cheez-its.

01:16:32.000 It's like a horse feeder.

01:16:33.000 A horse feeder.

01:16:36.000 And then I think the fourth quarter is going to be incredibly successful.

01:16:38.000 I think next year we're going to have a phenomenal year, economically.

01:16:42.000 But only if you elect him.

01:16:43.000 Mr. President, Mr. President.

01:16:44.000 The thing is, that's true.

01:16:45.000 It is true, yeah.

01:16:46.000 Do you hold President Xi Jinping responsible for misinformation?

01:16:51.000 Well, I don't want to say that.

01:16:52.000 I don't want to say that.

01:16:53.000 But I do.

01:16:54.000 Certainly, it could have been stopped.

01:16:56.000 It came out of China, and it could have been stopped.

01:16:58.000 I don't want to say that.

01:16:59.000 I don't want to say that.

01:17:00.000 But I'm going to say it anyways.

01:17:01.000 Mr. President, I want to, but I will.

01:17:05.000 Oh, this will be interesting for the Bill Gates.

01:17:07.000 By the way, we're fact-checking CNN.

01:17:08.000 We're doing this because we have to, but CNN for four hours afterward.

01:17:11.000 An hour of it is a Bill Gates town hall.

01:17:14.000 Considering that he is the biggest donor to the World Health Organization outside of the United States.

01:17:19.000 The United States, the country, and then Bill Gates, the person.

01:17:22.000 And he's been saying that China's been doing a fantastic job.

01:17:24.000 They've done almost everything right in comparison to the United States.

01:17:27.000 It'll be really interesting to see that town hall.

01:17:29.000 Also, I think he's evil.

01:17:32.000 Bill.

01:17:33.000 Bill Gates is evil, right?

01:17:34.000 Yeah, Bill Gates.

01:17:34.000 I don't throw that around.

01:17:35.000 I'm not the QAnon conspiracy person.

01:17:39.000 But I get the sense that if someone was really pulling evil strings behind the scenes, it's the guy who supports population control and thinks that China has it right.

01:17:47.000 That's true.

01:17:47.000 And he's got the money.

01:17:48.000 And wants to basically put tattoo chips into children to see if they've been vaccinated.

01:17:53.000 It's a dye.

01:17:54.000 What do they call it?

01:17:56.000 They don't want to use the term chip.

01:17:58.000 But it's basically a dye tattoo that you would put under the skin that allows governments to know if children have had their vaccinations.

01:18:06.000 And then when people say, oh, he wants to microchip, people are like, oh, fact check!

01:18:09.000 Snopes, it's not a microchip.

01:18:10.000 What would you call it?

01:18:11.000 Yeah, something.

01:18:12.000 It's a tattoo that's under the skin that is scanned so you know people's whereabouts.

01:18:17.000 And he wants to contact trace that way.

01:18:19.000 Have you seen Internet Explorer before?

01:18:19.000 I'm not worried.

01:18:22.000 Never works.

01:18:23.000 Literally, not worried about it.

01:18:24.000 it yeah hold on exactly I think you should respond 48 seconds last time we

01:18:45.000 Yeah.

01:18:46.000 Drink!

01:18:47.000 And there is such a thing.

01:18:48.000 Be a little faster on the ding button.

01:18:50.000 He's drunk already.

01:18:51.000 If you look at Brett Kavanaugh, this is an outstanding man.

01:18:54.000 He was falsely charged.

01:18:57.000 What happened with him was an absolute disgrace to our country.

01:19:02.000 That must bother your lawyer.

01:19:03.000 He was falsely accused.

01:19:05.000 He just said charged.

01:19:08.000 He was falsely arraigned, wrongfully had bail set, and was incorrectly judged by a jury of his three years.

01:19:19.000 He was wrongfully selected for the Hunger Games.

01:19:22.000 He said, frankly, he shouldn't have volunteered as tribute.

01:19:25.000 I would never volunteer this tribute, but that's what he that's the kind of guy Brett Kavanaugh is

01:19:28.000 Beer on two beers Hunger games on

01:19:34.000 Hey, it's jesus. All right. Okay. Let's we're supposed to be watching this live

01:19:40.000 But we do have when donald trump jr. Calls and he steps you answer the problem

01:19:44.000 Is he there okay, let's pause it real quick. Mr. Donald trump jr. Are you there? Can you hear us sir?

01:19:52.000 I can, I'm here, I'm listening and I was about to hang up.

01:19:56.000 There was a little bit too much trope impersonating going on.

01:20:00.000 You know it's kind of weird because we're watching your father right now and then it's a very similar face but on the brawny man shirt.

01:20:09.000 I'm like the lumberjack version of Trump. 0.55

01:20:15.000 Well you know you pull it off well actually the two weeks in quarantine I have like a weird Tiger Army rockabilly hairdo and my wife won't have sex with me it's a really Yes, not that much. 0.91

01:20:28.000 Thank you for outing me, Donald Trump Jr.

01:20:31.000 Okay, so listen, I don't know how much you know what we're doing, but because obviously the press briefing wasn't, but it turned into a press briefing, and a wonderful one, by the way, a lot of people missed it because it happened earlier in the day.

01:20:42.000 We've been doing this, you know, we've been doing two shows every day for the month of quarantine, and we've watched all the briefings, and then we've all been pulling our hair out watching CNN afterward, going, I can't believe they're painting it this way.

01:20:52.000 So today we're watching this as though it's live, even though it was earlier, so that most people can see it for themselves, and then live fact-checking CNN for four hours.

01:21:02.000 Let me ask you this, Donald Trump Jr., do you prefer Mr.

01:21:06.000 Jr., Mr. Trump Jr.?

01:21:08.000 Yes.

01:21:09.000 Okay.

01:21:09.000 I'm down.

01:21:10.000 Just Don.

01:21:11.000 Alright, Don.

01:21:13.000 Don, your family lived in New York, obviously, and you had to play nice with both the right and the left for a very long time, and I know that you used to appear on CNN, and so did your dad.

01:21:23.000 How would you describe that transition now, in the way that they've treated him, and how you view the media, considering you were such a big part of it with such big shows for so long?

01:21:33.000 I've been a conservative my whole life, so that was always a little bit of an interesting navigation.

01:21:38.000 That said, I'll be candid.

01:21:40.000 The first political fundraising thing I ever did was for Andrew Cuomo when he was running for AG back in the day.

01:21:47.000 Again, when you're a real estate developer, the Attorney General signs off on offering plans on anything that you're going to do to get building, so you do have to Play that game.

01:21:57.000 I think it's why my father was well-suited to kind of jump into that system because he knows exactly how it works Right, uh, you know and so many people don't you know, this is not a pure system by any Any means right, you know watching it now.

01:22:11.000 I mean I did CNN because You know, I think they were at least Somewhat fair to us, you know back before my father won

01:22:19.000 because they wanted him to be the nominee because he was the path of least

01:22:23.000 resistance for crooked Yeah, so it wasn't like they were being you know, honest or

01:22:28.000 they were being magnanimous or that they were being, you know, impartial or you know

01:22:33.000 Bipartisan they were hoping to get Trump there so that she could destroy him 0.97

01:22:41.000 You know, what's funny I?

01:22:42.000 First off, I love that you refer to your father by his last name.

01:22:46.000 You're like Don Trump.

01:22:47.000 You're the white Don King. 0.99

01:22:48.000 Magnanimous, outrageous, lascivious, contagious! 0.92

01:22:56.000 All right, so switching gears here, because you've been on Twitter, I've been following you, and you've really been on the Michael Flynn thing.

01:23:04.000 I want to ask you, why are the handwritten notes in the documents that were released yesterday, why are they so important, and what does it tell us about, or what should people see in there about the motives behind Flynn?

01:23:15.000 Because it seems like a really, it's a really complicated story to a lot of people, so if you can distill it for them.

01:23:20.000 Honestly, you know, this is basically the first time I've said it sort of on public.

01:23:25.000 I'm pretty loud anyway.

01:23:28.000 I take a position on a lot of stuff.

01:23:30.000 I get pretty aggressive, and I don't sort of toe the line.

01:23:34.000 I sort of usually fly across it.

01:23:37.000 And Michael Flynn is probably the one issue that I've actually been reasonably quiet on until I saw this stuff starting to come out.

01:23:47.000 Meaning for the last few years, it's one of my biggest regrets, frankly, of the last few years. 0.98

01:23:52.000 And it's because even me, Who's been on the receiving end of that bullshit? 0.97

01:23:57.000 Meaning, you know, I was the number two target of the Mueller investigation. 0.98

01:24:01.000 I don't think anyone's contesting that.

01:24:03.000 Right.

01:24:03.000 I played it a little differently.

01:24:04.000 I was a little bit more aggressive.

01:24:06.000 I did everything my lawyers told me not to do.

01:24:08.000 I was loud.

01:24:09.000 I went on TV.

01:24:10.000 I fought back. 1.00

01:24:11.000 I taught shit. 1.00

01:24:15.000 My lawyers were like, you're killing us here. 1.00

01:24:18.000 And then two years later, they actually said you were right.

01:24:21.000 They go, Don, you know what, you were actually right because the other side had no intention of trying to get to the truth.

01:24:26.000 Right.

01:24:27.000 It was always about that.

01:24:28.000 So by you fighting back, you sort of put yourself in a position where they were meaning I could have rolled over and died and they would have shown me exactly zero quarter.

01:24:37.000 right now and that's what a lot of us to do a much better job of that and you

01:24:40.000 know the right uh... the right is that there is a growing over a diet

01:24:44.000 at the first side of a little bit of resistance and you know i think that's

01:24:48.000 what my father's been able to get through some of those things so that

01:24:50.000 they were correct with what it was not taking a stronger position in favor of him

01:24:55.000 Now, I knew they did it.

01:24:56.000 I knew what they tried to do to me.

01:24:59.000 I got a little bit luckier in whatever it was, whether it was strategy, willingness to push back, ability to pay insane amounts of legal fees, whatever it may be.

01:25:10.000 But when I see what happened now, I say, man, even me, even with that experience, I still had a hard time Believing and reconciling that these guys could be that crooked, that they could go so far out of their way to set up a guy that is... Meaning, there has to be truth to this thing.

01:25:30.000 There has to be something there, and that's why I don't want to go all in on this issue.

01:25:34.000 And now I'm seeing those notes, and it's like, what do we try to get?

01:25:37.000 What's the objective?

01:25:38.000 To try to get him to lie so we can fire him? 1.00

01:25:40.000 Get him to lie so we can try to kill Trump? 0.99

01:25:42.000 Get him to do this? 0.94

01:25:43.000 I mean, the only objective they had no interest in was Truth!

01:25:49.000 It had nothing to do with the truth.

01:25:52.000 It was all a setup.

01:25:53.000 Now, again, you saw that from the page, Rockstuff. 1.00

01:25:56.000 You saw it from Brennan, who can lie in front of Congress and Comey and all of these sanctimonious assholes. 0.99

01:26:03.000 You see that? 1.00

01:26:04.000 No, come on. 0.85

01:26:05.000 I'm amazed.

01:26:06.000 He's always silent, as sanctimonious as he is.

01:26:09.000 He's been pretty quiet.

01:26:11.000 And the fact that these guys aren't in jail when we start seeing what's coming out now.

01:26:14.000 And by the way, what I can only imagine will come out in the next few weeks as they start to release these things.

01:26:19.000 But what I want to know is, for the last few years, The FBI has been sitting on these things, knowing it's there, knowing it's exculpatory evidence, not giving it to Flynn's legal team.

01:26:31.000 Basically, if it wasn't for his legal team being aggressive and being like, wait a second, there's gotta be more to this, and pushing and pushing and pushing, this guy would have signed his life away because presumably they went after his kid like they did to me.

01:26:44.000 Trying to hurt my father.

01:26:46.000 I mean, it was a very similar deal, and I wish I would have been more aggressive about it, but it was even hard for me as just a reasonable American to assume that these people could be such corrupt people.

01:27:00.000 Let me ask you this.

01:27:01.000 Do you think it was hard for you as well?

01:27:02.000 Because unlike yourself, Flynn effectively admitted guilt.

01:27:07.000 But that's my point, you know, because he was, now again, whether he was railroaded, whatever it was he was doing, you know, they tried making him seem like a bad actor, because, you know, he was a general for 30 years, and he gave a speech in Turkey, and they paid him, ooh, like, I don't know, you know, again, if you're that guy, you know, you work your life, now you have an ability to do that, like, it was nothing wrong with it, but they made it seem like it was so wrong, that I was like, man, I don't know if I can jump in on this, like, Uh, it's, it's just, it's truly disgusting.

01:27:35.000 It's really disheartening.

01:27:37.000 Yeah.

01:27:37.000 And again, this is not a reflection on the door kickers at the FBI.

01:27:40.000 I always got to make that clear because then, you know, CNN runs the guy, Donald Trump doing your hates agents.

01:27:46.000 I don't hate agents.

01:27:46.000 I hate the guys that don't carry guns.

01:27:48.000 Right. 1.00

01:27:48.000 Bureaucrats at the top, the guys that got there by Being the biggest dipshit, uh, not the door kickers. 1.00

01:27:55.000 Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, Don Jr. 0.96

01:27:58.000 I mean this, you are like the, uh, the Kim Jong Un to your dad's Kim, but I mean that in the best way.

01:28:03.000 Like, you are all the good parts of your dad, except Kim Jong Il had no redeeming qualities, don't get me wrong, but you are like turned up to an 11 in that you're like, you know what?

01:28:12.000 I don't really care.

01:28:13.000 I don't really need to be appreciated by the media.

01:28:15.000 I, please run.

01:28:16.000 I'm not a politician.

01:28:16.000 I don't have to play in that game.

01:28:17.000 I'm not in the White House.

01:28:19.000 I can say what so many of us are actually thinking, and I just don't care if they try to cancel me.

01:28:24.000 They've been trying to throw me in jail.

01:28:27.000 Getting canceled is the least of my concerns.

01:28:31.000 Although in jail, getting cancelled is a euphemism for what happens with your bunkmates, so I would still keep your head on a swivel. 0.98

01:28:37.000 But I tell you what, I would chop off my arms and legs. 0.77

01:28:40.000 I would just be nubbling on the show if you were to run for governor of Michigan and kick that Whitmer out. 1.00

01:28:47.000 That is a fight that I would so love to see.

01:28:49.000 I know it's one of those matchups like a gorilla versus a grizzly bear, but oh my god, that's a dream of mine.

01:28:56.000 I don't know if it'd be that tough, especially, you know, I think she could have done a lot more for me.

01:29:00.000 Well, no, there's a difference, right?

01:29:01.000 You know, it'd be one thing if it was She probably made every bad decision for Michigan because she wasn't worried about Michigan.

01:29:09.000 She was running for VP for the last two months. 0.65

01:29:12.000 So every TV appearance, everything that she could do to try to attack Trump, the only thing she forgot about was her constituency.

01:29:18.000 Minor details if you're the governor.

01:29:23.000 So I'm not that worried about it, but the reality is I would love her to be the VP pick because you just have a case after case of literally ignoring the people It is her job to take care of so that she could either bolster Joe Biden.

01:29:39.000 I mean, the amount of stories that I'm hearing about people that they couldn't get PPP in Michigan because she didn't take the declaration seriously.

01:29:48.000 So they got in line two weeks behind literally 350 million other Americans that were buying for the same stuff and lost out.

01:29:56.000 I mean, she's done a major disservice to the people of her state just being a partisan hack. 0.98

01:30:00.000 Oh yeah, she's been absolutely terrible.

01:30:02.000 Let me ask you this.

01:30:03.000 I know you're busy and we're late.

01:30:05.000 I'm not busy at all, actually.

01:30:08.000 It looks like you had a question.

01:30:09.000 It looks like you had a question.

01:30:11.000 Grab a bill.

01:30:12.000 So, you know, you've been a long time businessman, not only in the areas of real estate, but

01:30:18.000 the businesses that are served by commercial real estate, not only in the city of New York,

01:30:23.000 but in the state and around the country.

01:30:25.000 What type of message do you have for those folks who are sitting there right now?

01:30:28.000 You have tenants, you have workers of tenants, restaurant workers, businesses who are saying, we need to get back to work.

01:30:34.000 And it's not a partisan thing.

01:30:36.000 He knows his own resume.

01:30:37.000 That's true.

01:30:38.000 What do you have as a message for those folks?

01:30:43.000 Hey, no one wants to get back to work more than me, you know, and I'm in that world.

01:30:47.000 I mean, we're in hospitality.

01:30:48.000 You know, you have an 800 room hotel with two people staying in there.

01:30:51.000 Let me get, it's just not a good business model.

01:30:53.000 Right.

01:30:54.000 You know, I want to get back to work, but it's not just to make money for me.

01:30:57.000 I also want to put the people that have been our employees, people who've been, you know, we've had to have some really tough conversations over the last few months.

01:31:06.000 I want to get them back to work.

01:31:08.000 But you saw, I mean, the partisan hackery.

01:31:11.000 So we are a hotel company.

01:31:14.000 We were specifically excluded from being able to take advantage of any of the funds or any of the programs that literally any other hotelier in America could take advantage of.

01:31:26.000 It wasn't like my father was negotiating in favor of hotels and trying to get something for us, but the Democrats carved us out of that.

01:31:32.000 So Jay Pritzker, who's the governor of Illinois but happens to own Hyatt Hotels, No problem.

01:31:39.000 There's nothing to see here.

01:31:40.000 Right.

01:31:40.000 You know, so they did that fake thing where it's like, well, we'll carve out members of Congress, members of Congress who have no other businesses, no other this, you know, because they're just trying to hurt Trump.

01:31:50.000 Now, it's not going to hurt me.

01:31:53.000 It's going to hurt the thousands of people we actually employ because we do actually employ real people.

01:31:59.000 Right.

01:31:59.000 I mean, we have stuff in New York.

01:32:01.000 Chuck Schumer is probably hurting some of his voters.

01:32:05.000 Yeah.

01:32:05.000 yes constituents by literally trying to penalize trump because that's what

01:32:10.000 you gotta do so you know it it's a it's a sad world in which we've been

01:32:13.000 we do have to get back to work that we have to do this a way i'm not downplay

01:32:17.000 severity of some of this thing

01:32:19.000 especially in certain areas right right i mean we are cities the epicenter of

01:32:24.000 you know outside of who hung new york city is the american at the center

01:32:30.000 Now, that could have been California, that could have been Washington.

01:32:32.000 New York City got it worse, or whatever it may be.

01:32:37.000 I don't think that should start off the same.

01:32:39.000 Now, I have a cabin in upstate New York.

01:32:42.000 I know a lot of people there.

01:32:43.000 They don't know anyone who's had it, anyone who's brought it.

01:32:46.000 They don't know of a single case, but they also are shut down.

01:32:49.000 They're two and a half hours outside of the city.

01:32:51.000 Well, you know, I don't think you have to hold them to the same stand that you do New York City.

01:32:55.000 Now, you maybe encourage people from New York City who are sick, don't go there.

01:32:59.000 Don't bring it with you there.

01:33:00.000 But like, you know, it's not even a state-by-state solution.

01:33:03.000 And I think my father's been really good about sort of saying, hey, you know, I believe in the Constitution.

01:33:07.000 I believe in sort of federalism.

01:33:09.000 We're going to let the governors decide for their states. 0.92

01:33:11.000 But the governors probably also can't decide city-by-city.

01:33:14.000 They've got to look at these things.

01:33:16.000 You know, it's not one state.

01:33:18.000 You could open all of upstate New York and probably not add any fuel to the fire.

01:33:22.000 Now, I don't know if you're there yet for New York City, but, you know, we got to start making those decisions.

01:33:26.000 It's going to be a point of return where you don't come back from.

01:33:30.000 And it's a little scary now watching the Democrats petition for bailouts. 0.99

01:33:35.000 Not for anything that it relates to COVID-19, but for literally stupid and reckless spending decisions over decades. 0.99

01:33:43.000 It's like, how's our change? 0.97

01:33:45.000 Yeah, they held up the small business stimulus right when they wanted to get their little earmarks in, and now they cannot beg for the money fast enough for their states.

01:33:53.000 And actually your father taught, we didn't get there because this is taped to live, where he talked about, I think I love your dad, he said, now the Republican governors, he said, they're not asking for bailouts.

01:34:03.000 You can call it luck or talent.

01:34:08.000 Or maybe it's just a different rate, maybe it's just a different frame of mind.

01:34:12.000 It's not a spent spending bill, they didn't spend 50 times more than they earned or could

01:34:17.000 possibly... but that's the reality.

01:34:19.000 You know, hey, as Clyburn said, we're never going to let a good crisis go to waste, so

01:34:24.000 the left will definitely try to make up for decades of mismanagement and misspending.

01:34:32.000 I think that's an important note, by the way, because that state equivalency is very similar to what we talked about, you know, comparing sort of the Obama stimulus versus what happened right now, you know, with the COVID-19, right?

01:34:41.000 Effectively, the federal government stepped in.

01:34:43.000 And in the absence of data, rightfully so, I said, hey, listen, we need to stop things

01:34:48.000 right now.

01:34:49.000 We need people to slow down.

01:34:50.000 That was the government intervening, and so it's the government's responsibility to make

01:34:53.000 sure that these businesses can stay afloat.

01:34:55.000 That's not the same as bailing out American Airlines for the umpteenth time because they

01:34:58.000 spent money irresponsibly, and people need to draw that delineation between Texas and

01:35:03.000 California.

01:35:04.000 Hey, we're shutting you down.

01:35:05.000 But you can't do that Hey, as a landlord, if I say, hey, I'm shutting you down, or if I'm a tenant, I'm saying, well, you can't just say, I'm going to force these situations on you, and then congratulations, you're on your own.

01:35:05.000 You can't do that.

01:35:16.000 But, you know, and again, you know, even some of the states that have done that to us, we can't take advantage of it because we're Trump, but we're always going to be held to a different standard.

01:35:24.000 Because, you know, that's the nature of the political game, but it's only a political

01:35:28.000 game not because of any logical reason.

01:35:29.000 Right.

01:35:30.000 Can I ask you one question?

01:35:31.000 So one thing I will say that does, like you said, none of us are saying the virus, just

01:35:35.000 like your dad didn't, the president did not say the virus was a hoax.

01:35:38.000 He was talking about the media trying to lay the blame at his feet as a hoax and of course

01:35:41.000 doing the bidding for China.

01:35:43.000 But one thing I do wonder, you know, especially considering the antibody testing that is coming

01:35:46.000 out now, and even Cuomo himself, I believe, saying that the mortality rate is revised

01:35:51.000 to 0.5% and likely lower for young people.

01:35:55.000 When do you think we'll start seeing some of those revised numbers in these press conferences?

01:35:59.000 Because I'm always, I hate to say it, but slightly disappointed that that info isn't getting out to more Americans because it's important for them to know.

01:36:05.000 A lot of them still may think that it's a 4% mortality rate and we know it's not.

01:36:10.000 It's a really good point.

01:36:11.000 I think the reality is that, you know, they're sort of figuring this out now.

01:36:11.000 I've been saying that.

01:36:14.000 I mean, some of these things I'm seeing back in New York, you know, 20% of people have it.

01:36:17.000 I was like, well, you know, 20% it's a lot different.

01:36:21.000 20% of New York with 13 million people or whatever it is.

01:36:23.000 You know, so millions have it.

01:36:25.000 You're right.

01:36:27.000 It's significantly, you know, more negligible.

01:36:29.000 And then you have the cases.

01:36:30.000 Well, hospitals are getting paid more money if someone dies of COVID.

01:36:33.000 So it's like, that guy was hit by a bus, but looks like COVID!

01:36:37.000 Looks like COVID.

01:36:39.000 Let's, you know, let's just, you know, I want to, you know, what's going to be the interesting statistic is going to be what happens, Steven, at the end of the year when we find out how few people actually died of the regular flu?

01:36:51.000 Because I have a feeling I have a feeling the flu statistics will go to virtually zero.

01:36:57.000 Trump will not get credit for that.

01:36:58.000 Right.

01:36:59.000 But I have a feeling that flu will go virtually to zero to bolster these numbers.

01:37:03.000 So the whole thing... It already has, actually.

01:37:04.000 We covered that on the show.

01:37:05.000 It already has.

01:37:06.000 The last couple of months, not exactly zero, but the flu deaths have gone down drastically, right?

01:37:11.000 And because they're all being registered as COVID-19.

01:37:13.000 And some people try to argue, well, that's because of social distancing.

01:37:15.000 It would have long been before social distancing could have had an effect because of that rubber band effect.

01:37:19.000 So it's already happening.

01:37:20.000 Yeah.

01:37:21.000 The reality, listen, in the areas that, I don't know that anyone got bombarded as badly as they were possibly anticipating it.

01:37:28.000 Don't forget, no one's talking about the success story that Donald Trump has had because they said two million people were gonna die and we're at, what, 140th of that?

01:37:39.000 Whatever the exact math is, but I think they've done an amazing job.

01:37:43.000 They won't talk about that.

01:37:44.000 They won't talk about Donald Trump in January 28th said, hey, This probably makes sense.

01:37:51.000 Let's shut down travel from the epicenter of the outbreak.

01:37:57.000 Nancy Pelosi, Chuck Schumer, that's racist. 1.00

01:38:01.000 It's premature.

01:38:03.000 It's too aggressive.

01:38:05.000 If you're looking out for your people, isn't that literally the number one thing you could do as a doctor?

01:38:10.000 Hold on, Donald Jr.

01:38:12.000 The Don Jr., if I may.

01:38:14.000 Nancy Pelosi and de Blasio were shooting videos, TikToks, like the famous nurses now, From Chinatown, encouraging people to eat out in Chinatown.

01:38:24.000 Now, I don't know exactly what it's like in New York or San Francisco, but I'm from Montreal, where we have one hell of a Chinatown.

01:38:30.000 I wouldn't eat out in Chinatown when there isn't a pandemic. 0.99

01:38:34.000 If I eat and comment on that, I will be, you know, they will have to cancel.

01:38:39.000 Way to lay a landmine.

01:38:40.000 But that's the point.

01:38:41.000 about it.

01:38:42.000 No, no, no.

01:38:43.000 To be clear, Donald Trump Jr. loves his General Tso's chicken, okay?

01:38:48.000 We're all very clear on this.

01:38:49.000 I'm just saying, you know, like Chinatown, Montreal, Chinatown, put your stuff in the 1.00

01:38:52.000 refrigerator.

01:38:53.000 It would be nice every now and then.

01:38:54.000 But that's the point.

01:38:55.000 So it's the, that Donald Trump can take probably the action that's certainly slow to flatten

01:38:59.000 the curve better than anything we could have done while we were preparing for potentially

01:39:05.000 That never quite happened the way it did in certain areas, but not certainly what they were predicting, right?

01:39:10.000 Two million deaths is, you know, it's a big difference than where we are.

01:39:13.000 Not one of these, again, should happen if China was honest. 0.74

01:39:18.000 If China spent more time and more money trying to feed their people rather than stealing our military technology, If they did a little bit of that, maybe people wouldn't have to eat bat. 0.97

01:39:31.000 And if people weren't eating bat, maybe they would. 0.99

01:39:34.000 You know, these are minor details that no one's willing to say.

01:39:37.000 Eating bat is not a minor detail!

01:39:41.000 That's one hell of a detail.

01:39:42.000 People worrying about trying to save face, look powerful in front of the world.

01:39:47.000 You know, they've managed to shut down travel, I'm hearing, to Beijing and Shanghai from Wuhan, but they let everyone else fly all over the world.

01:39:55.000 What this crisis has taught us is that, frankly, Donald Trump was more right in 2016 than we ever knew. 0.63

01:40:02.000 And I believe he was damn right then.

01:40:04.000 But we have to have some control of these things. 0.84

01:40:06.000 We have to have control of our borders, our supply chains.

01:40:09.000 We have to have American manufacturing.

01:40:11.000 I mean, you had the Chinese.

01:40:13.000 Literally threatening to withhold the antibiotics that American companies developed, although we manufacture them there for some strange reason.

01:40:21.000 They're gonna withhold sending our stuff to us during a crisis because we're not blindly adhering to the Communist Party's propaganda after they literally lied and put the world in this place.

01:40:33.000 And I'm watching mainstream media being like, Well, Phil, this is from the Chinese Communist Party.

01:40:38.000 Not a single case!

01:40:39.000 It's amazing!

01:40:41.000 Okay, well, let us in and ask a person.

01:40:43.000 No, no, no.

01:40:44.000 That is too far.

01:40:45.000 You cannot... I mean, what are we, imbeciles? 1.00

01:40:49.000 Well, to be fair, in Don Lemon's defense, I think that he actually, his IQ is at the point where he might be eligible for special grants. 0.99

01:40:57.000 But I will say this.

01:40:58.000 Support, yeah.

01:40:59.000 Yeah, that is something that is very important.

01:41:01.000 We actually, I was live on air, right, and we do this morning show this month, and so some of us were checking news as it comes in, and I was reading a quote regarding the World Health Organization.

01:41:09.000 And I was reading a quote regarding Donald Trump wanting to pull funding from the World Health Organization.

01:41:13.000 It was a statement from a Chinese ambassador.

01:41:16.000 And it happened while I was on air, and I read it, and I just said, well, of course they're going to react that way.

01:41:19.000 And you guys remember, off air, I said, wait a second, wait a second.

01:41:22.000 Was that Lilian Zhizang, whatever his name was, I said, wait, was that the communist propagandist who blamed the coronavirus on our own troops?

01:41:32.000 And an hour after I was on air, I said, wait, hold on a second.

01:41:35.000 Yes, that's the guy who spread the conspiracy theory that our troops started the coronavirus.

01:41:40.000 And he was cited, he was quoted in Washington Post, in New York Times, Forbes.

01:41:46.000 Not just quoted and then like, you know, Hit hard, quoted as though it was gospel.

01:41:53.000 No one's gonna call him a conservative, but Jonathan Swan from Axios actually interviewed the ambassador and asked him about those questions.

01:42:02.000 And the guy's literally, I can't speak for that.

01:42:04.000 I go, but this guy is a blue checkmark verified spokesperson for the Chinese government.

01:42:11.000 And he said, well, that's not my job.

01:42:14.000 It is your job!

01:42:16.000 Specifically your job!

01:42:18.000 Jonathan Swan did a good job of hitting it, but the interview got literally no traction other than people like myself on social being like, has anyone thought about watching this?

01:42:27.000 Because this is literally someone finally calling them out, asking them simple questions about the propaganda that they've been spreading.

01:42:34.000 Yeah.

01:42:34.000 And they literally had like a bumbling answer that was nothing.

01:42:38.000 It was insane.

01:42:39.000 Well, I'll give you one more and then I have to go and have one final question.

01:42:42.000 But actually, when we ran, I don't know about you, but the scariest thing this month, the thing for me that really made me think there's something more sinister afoot with the media, rather than just ignorance, right? 0.93

01:42:51.000 Because sometimes people are just ignorant.

01:42:52.000 You know, you have your Don Lemons and your Brian Stelters. 0.98

01:42:54.000 I don't know anything.

01:42:55.000 But then you have people who are actually trying to subvert the truth.

01:42:58.000 And it was that interview, and it only had a few hundred, maybe a couple thousand plays when we ran it on the show, where this Asian reporter asked the World Health Organization about Taiwan on Skype.

01:43:08.000 And he said, sorry, the Skype cut out.

01:43:10.000 I couldn't hear you.

01:43:11.000 And she asked again about Taiwan and their refusal to recognize Taiwan, and he just hung up.

01:43:17.000 Live on air, and no one covered it.

01:43:19.000 And we showed that on air after that, you know, it got millions of plays.

01:43:22.000 I know that you do this job as well, but sometimes for me, when I look at something like this and I go, I feel chills running down my spine.

01:43:28.000 Not like Chris Matthews when Barack Obama was... It's really scary.

01:43:30.000 I mean, you see, and again, you know...

01:43:33.000 Obviously, that's that's an extreme version.

01:43:35.000 But honestly, we're seeing the same thing just in the way that the left handles it.

01:43:38.000 Who is it?

01:43:39.000 Like Chris Krizilla, whatever his name is on CNN today, literally did a piece asking about the Tara Reid, you know, accusations against Joe Biden.

01:43:48.000 Now, it was a liberal, about as liberal as it gets.

01:43:52.000 On CNN, he brought it up on his show.

01:43:54.000 Now, it wasn't too far, it wasn't aggressive, it was not nearly what he would have done to Brett Kavanaugh or Donald Trump under similar circumstances, but he brought it up, and within minutes, trending on Twitter was left-wing people trying to get a leftist fired from CNN for literally bringing up a question that if Donald Trump or a Republican did, would be, let's call it, the Huge, with a capital Y, huge story of the year!

01:44:24.000 It could be the biggest story of the year, and they're literally trying to get a uber-leftist fired for even mentioning an accusation that literally has corroboration from 30 years ago, much more credible than anything these bastards threw at Brett Kavanaugh, where they did 700 pieces on something, where it's like, well, so when did it happen?

01:44:47.000 I don't know, but it happened.

01:44:49.000 Where did it happen?

01:44:50.000 I have no idea.

01:44:51.000 What year was it?

01:44:53.000 I don't know.

01:44:55.000 I mean, give me a break already.

01:45:00.000 It's insanity.

01:45:02.000 so this guy asked a simple question mentioned what should be the biggest story of the day

01:45:07.000 with perhaps the exception of corona and they try to fire him i mean this is what we're up against

01:45:14.000 and it's also why the right loses all the time because right the left will sacrifice any morality 0.97

01:45:20.000 any decency any principles to try to win and push their bullshit agenda 0.96

01:45:25.000 And, you know, we don't play the same way, and I think we probably should. 0.96

01:45:28.000 Wait, does that mean it's curtains for your eyes?

01:45:30.000 He's getting the Muppet cane from his family over here.

01:45:31.000 Oh, here we go.

01:45:32.000 So, final question.

01:45:33.000 Two questions.

01:45:34.000 Two-part question.

01:45:35.000 Hey, what are you doing?

01:45:35.000 I'm in the middle of an interview, princess!

01:45:37.000 It's okay!

01:45:39.000 He's like, no, you're not!

01:45:40.000 You're done!

01:45:41.000 I don't like it when you get this way!

01:45:43.000 Um, two questions.

01:45:45.000 Hey, Mrs. Gilfoyle, how are you?

01:45:47.000 Really seriously, the louder was prouder.

01:45:50.000 We could hear him in my neighborhood.

01:45:52.000 I'm mostly taking the louder part.

01:45:54.000 I have to have a little bit more decency.

01:45:57.000 But I appreciate, he's in such a good mood being on with you.

01:46:00.000 He's super excited.

01:46:01.000 But I appreciate it, he's in such a good mood, like being on with you, he's like super excited, so.

01:46:06.000 This is him in a good mood?

01:46:08.000 Yeah, I'm in a great mood, I like fighting!

01:46:11.000 I miss fighting!

01:46:13.000 It's true, he is related to his dad.

01:46:16.000 I got that gene.

01:46:20.000 That's my final question, because we do have to go, but my final question, two questions.

01:46:23.000 It's part A, part B. A, is this genetic?

01:46:25.000 Because I notice you do this as well.

01:46:27.000 And B, when you're at Thanksgiving, do you say to your dad, Donald Trump, please pass the potatoes?

01:46:34.000 Sounds like an invite to me!

01:46:35.000 By the way, if you think he's funny, when you know, with some of these one-liners

01:46:39.000 at these press conferences, you gotta sit at like a family holiday,

01:46:42.000 you know, where you have like just a lot of alpha personalities around the table vying for dominance.

01:46:47.000 It's pretty awesome.

01:46:48.000 I mean, if you film this, it would be a whole new level of respect.

01:46:54.000 Yes, it sounds, I accept your invite.

01:46:57.000 Okay, well thank you so much.

01:46:58.000 Obviously you have to get back to your lovely lady there and your wonderful upstate.

01:47:03.000 Hopefully you're heavily armed because you just told people that you're the President's son in upstate New York.

01:47:09.000 Especially with Bill Gates' contact tracing software.

01:47:11.000 I don't think anyone's ever accused me of not being a vocal and strong proponent of the Second Amendment.

01:47:16.000 I'm always heavily armed.

01:47:18.000 That is absolutely true.

01:47:19.000 And you know what?

01:47:20.000 I will be as well after we watch the Bill Gates town hall on CNN.

01:47:23.000 So thank you so much, Donald Trump Jr.

01:47:25.000 We really appreciate you taking the time, brother.

01:47:27.000 Be safe.

01:47:28.000 Thank you.

01:47:28.000 Better you than me.

01:47:29.000 Enjoy that one.

01:47:31.000 God bless.

01:47:32.000 You know what?

01:47:32.000 I know we've gone.

01:47:33.000 I think we need it.

01:47:34.000 We can't do this anymore.

01:47:35.000 We're going to have to just go to work. 1.00

01:47:37.000 I mean, listen, guys, it's one of those things you can't catch lightning in a bottle or get the president's son to say shit sticks. 0.99

01:47:46.000 You can't plan it. 0.99

01:47:48.000 You just got to let it roll.

01:47:48.000 I will tell you what.

01:47:49.000 I will tell you what.

01:47:50.000 I was thrilled to have him on because the first time we had him on, he was doing the book tour.

01:47:53.000 Right.

01:47:53.000 And I kind of knew all the answers.

01:47:55.000 I like this version of Donald Trump.

01:47:56.000 Yeah.

01:47:57.000 There was a lot of honesty there.

01:47:58.000 Yeah, he's very much like his father.

01:48:00.000 Like he said, though, it's a little bit more unfiltered and a little funnier, because he knows he can just punch right back at those guys a little bit better.

01:48:05.000 Well, I feel like President Donald Trump would actually prefer to be able to say that, but he can't.

01:48:09.000 Yeah, I agree.

01:48:10.000 Like, I think that Donald Trump Jr.

01:48:11.000 is a reflection, typically, of what his father probably understands.

01:48:15.000 Like, he's talking about the numbers, he's talking about upstate New York, and Donald Trump has to be a little... Donald Sr.

01:48:20.000 He's just thrown me for a loop right now because he refers to himself.

01:48:25.000 He's saying what his dad is thinking.

01:48:28.000 It's also exacerbated because Donald Trump refers to himself in the third person.

01:48:33.000 Can you imagine that Thanksgiving table saying, Donald Trump pass the potatoes, Donald Trump will not pass the potatoes.

01:48:39.000 Donald Trump Jr.

01:48:40.000 wants to say, Donald Trump is not a potato passer.

01:48:46.000 Eric, you get it.

01:48:46.000 Alright.

01:48:47.000 Okay, well listen, here's what we're going to do.

01:48:50.000 We're going to take a quick commercial break.

01:48:51.000 How long is this commercial break?

01:48:53.000 We do have a giveaway.

01:48:56.000 And then we're just going to have to go live.

01:48:57.000 Is a town hall with Bill Gates going on right now?

01:48:59.000 It is not yet.

01:49:00.000 Bill Gates isn't on.

01:49:01.000 Because I did not want to miss that.

01:49:03.000 No, it's Gupta.

01:49:06.000 Gupta can go sit on a tack.

01:49:09.000 Well, that's not nice.

01:49:10.000 Got it.

01:49:11.000 That was a Don Rickles thing.

01:49:12.000 Sanjay Gupta, why don't you go eat yourself some chimichurri instead of a tack?

01:49:16.000 Huh?

01:49:17.000 He says huh.

01:49:17.000 What?

01:49:18.000 Go home and sleep with your broom.

01:49:22.000 Alright, the giveaway!

01:49:23.000 Alright, the giveaway.

01:49:23.000 The next giveaway is... Epstein.

01:49:26.000 Wait, what?

01:49:27.000 Hold on a second.

01:49:27.000 He's dead.

01:49:28.000 Oh, that's right!

01:49:29.000 That's right, giveaway.

01:49:29.000 Do we have a clip from it?

01:49:31.000 Yeah, we have a clip.

01:49:32.000 Okay, so we are... As Mr. Draven leans, we can... Again, we are looking for 55 kilograms.

01:49:37.000 We have 28, 25, 6 on the neck, and 58 on the rump.

01:49:39.000 Neck cartilage.

01:49:40.000 58 on the neck.

01:49:41.000 Alright, let me get this off.

01:49:47.000 I'm gonna take my helmet.

01:49:49.000 Thank you.

01:49:49.000 Yes, there appears to have been a lot of commotion.

01:49:52.000 What do you think went wrong?

01:49:55.000 Here's the thing, though.

01:49:59.000 Please bring that in, Jocko Correspondent.

01:50:01.000 So this is the giveaway right here.

01:50:03.000 Or I guess you want to... Yeah, I'll hold it right here.

01:50:04.000 Thank you, sir.

01:50:05.000 Look at this.

01:50:06.000 We are giving away... That's memorabilia.

01:50:08.000 A piece of history!

01:50:08.000 What happened to you?

01:50:09.000 Oh, wow.

01:50:10.000 That's... Well, you guys made me make fun of Jocko for 20 minutes.

01:50:14.000 Really?

01:50:15.000 I didn't know flights were starting that early. 0.93

01:50:17.000 Yeah, he wanted to prove how gay he was. 0.95

01:50:19.000 He gave me a different kind of beating. 0.93

01:50:22.000 Well, you did the Mike Tyson.

01:50:24.000 He made you love him.

01:50:26.000 So we are giving this away.

01:50:28.000 Thank you, Smooth Manny.

01:50:29.000 I appreciate it.

01:50:30.000 Now I'm gonna get a call from Jocko.

01:50:32.000 At 4.15am.

01:50:32.000 Yikes.

01:50:32.000 So, this is what we're giving away right now.

01:50:35.000 This is the neck strap.

01:50:36.000 By the way, my throat was so sore.

01:50:38.000 So here's the thing.

01:50:39.000 I wasn't able to break the bones in my neck during the Epstein livestream. 0.98

01:50:43.000 My throat was so sore for two days, you would think I had a mild case of COVID.

01:50:47.000 Oh wow.

01:50:48.000 But I didn't.

01:50:49.000 Before COVID.

01:50:50.000 No, thank God I did not.

01:50:51.000 It was just, you know, a slight fracture in my hyoid.

01:50:56.000 Who is the winner right now?

01:50:57.000 We're signing this and sending this out to... Jacob M. Jacob M. in Cheyenne, Wyoming!

01:51:04.000 I've never been... Is that a nice talk?

01:51:06.000 Cheyenne!

01:51:08.000 I'm from Cheyenne, Wyoming!

01:51:09.000 That was in the Max Fisher play.

01:51:11.000 Oh my gosh, Anthony Fauci's on.

01:51:12.000 He really does look like Geppetto without his mustache.

01:51:15.000 Don't bring it up yet.

01:51:17.000 Here's the deal.

01:51:18.000 We're going to give this away to Mr. Cheyenne Wyoming, and of course, the final giveaway... I forgot his name.

01:51:23.000 The only name in my head right now is Dumbledore, and it's a senior or a junior, and that's about all the bandwidth I have right now.

01:51:30.000 So enter in the promo code QUARANTINE, remember that, and you still get $30 off, and then we're still going to be here for two and a half more hours, three hours?

01:51:38.000 Two and a half more hours, live, Fact-checking, CNN, there's gonna be a Bill Gates town hall, and of course, oh my god, Chris Cuomo.

01:51:45.000 Your favorite! 0.99

01:51:46.000 Please tweet it at him when we're doing this, because I've never wanted anything as much as I want Christopher Cuomo to kick my ass. 0.99

01:51:54.000 Because I know I wouldn't stand a chance. 0.99

01:51:55.000 Yeah, of course.

01:51:56.000 And so, it's an offer.

01:51:59.000 You should take it.

01:52:01.000 If you're a man, you'll take the offer.

01:52:03.000 So this goes to Mr. Cheyenne.

01:52:05.000 Our final giveaway tonight is going to be someone, two people flying out here live in studio.

01:52:10.000 And thank you.

01:52:11.000 We just have a quick commercial break.

01:52:12.000 We will be back after this to live fact check.

01:52:15.000 CNN, stay with us. 0.99

01:52:17.000 There it is again.

01:52:18.000 so strong.

01:52:25.000 louder with crowdershop.com supporting free speech since two thousand and 1.00

01:52:33.000 With people being banned from social media left and right, you can now purchase this de-platform-this limited edition LouderWithCrowderShop.com t-shirt, signifying your insubordinance to authority, and request for them to kiss your ass and lick your b****. 0.99

01:52:46.000 Order with PradaShop.com today! 1.00

01:52:59.000 I had no idea.

01:53:00.000 I thought it was a four.

01:53:01.000 What's the next commercial?

01:53:02.000 Do we have like a two or three minute commercial break?

01:53:04.000 Yeah, we got one of those.

01:53:05.000 Yeah, I don't want a five minute commercial break.

01:53:06.000 Guys, I'm sorry.

01:53:07.000 I'm sorry.

01:53:08.000 It's number one.

01:53:09.000 I have to go number one and quarter black Garrett. 0.83

01:53:13.000 He's running on quarter black time.

01:53:16.000 That's true.

01:53:17.000 Canadian time we call it in the serving industry.

01:53:19.000 So he didn't tell me.

01:53:21.000 I didn't know it was 30 seconds.

01:53:22.000 Half Asian Bill is gone. 0.95

01:53:23.000 Gerald is back.

01:53:24.000 We will be back after this.

01:53:25.000 How long break?

01:53:27.000 30 seconds.

01:53:28.000 Good lord!

01:53:29.000 More! 0.72

01:53:30.000 You don't want 30 seconds?

01:53:31.000 That's what you want? 1.00

01:53:31.000 You're aggravating me, you little bastard! 1.00

01:53:34.000 It's 3 minutes and 30 seconds. 1.00

01:53:36.000 Okay, 3 minutes and 30 seconds.

01:53:37.000 In 3 minutes, I will be back.

01:53:38.000 My bladder is about to explode.

01:53:41.000 See you in 3 minutes for live fact-checking CNN.

01:53:43.000 Gotta go!

01:53:43.000 30 seconds.

01:53:44.000 So, healthcare and overtime at two and a half?

01:53:56.000 Three and a half and dental.

01:53:57.000 We can do that.

01:53:59.000 We can do that.

01:54:26.000 if you're listening on audio you're probably wondering what's going on

01:54:30.000 If you're not listening on audio, subscribe at SoundCloud and Apple Podcasts.

01:54:34.000 Tonight on Comedy Central.

01:54:36.000 Yeah.

01:54:37.000 Uh-huh.

01:54:38.000 Corona, baby.

01:54:39.000 I've never just told jokes to myself.

01:54:41.000 Hello?

01:54:42.000 Black people? 0.81

01:54:43.000 I'm not even trying to be funny here. 0.99

01:54:44.000 Trevor dishes his hottest takes.

01:54:48.000 What?

01:54:49.000 We've got to clear the air.

01:54:51.000 I'm not too old, but I'm pretty damn old.

01:55:31.000 This is a call from Steven Crowder regarding your Mug Club membership renewal.

01:55:36.000 If you plan to renew, please press 1.

01:55:38.000 I'm just going through like a really, really, really like struggle today right now.

01:55:45.000 I'm really like deciding whether I should get the Rolls Royce Phantom or just like a Tesla, you know, Model X, the SUV.

01:55:58.000 This is an automated call and I cannot answer your questions.

01:56:09.000 Steven Crowder calling, buddy.

01:56:10.000 What's going on? 0.99

01:56:11.000 I would say go with the Royce because it's a status symbol and it's a big ol' swingin' d**k. 0.98

01:56:18.000 This is Steven Crowder calling. 0.88

01:56:21.000 I don't have a house on the island.

01:56:23.000 I don't have any of those things.

01:56:24.000 You know I don't have those things.

01:56:28.000 I only have Mug Club and it's only as valuable as its weakest link.

01:56:33.000 Are you talking to someone else or are you talking to your other own personality?

01:56:37.000 This is Steven Crowder calling you right now from Mug Club to see...

01:56:44.000 Alright.

01:56:44.000 Okay.

01:56:45.000 You know what?

01:56:46.000 This is the opposite of a robo-call.

01:56:48.000 This is a call to an insane... You only speak of the things that the insane lament.

01:56:56.000 You know what?

01:56:57.000 I don't want you in my club.

01:56:58.000 Go get yourself a tumbler.

01:57:00.000 We are back.

01:57:15.000 Please do tweet out Mug Club Quarantine.

01:57:17.000 Hashtag Mug Club Quarantine.

01:57:19.000 This is a 9% building here.

01:57:22.000 And of course the promo code is quarantine.

01:57:25.000 They are on a commercial break on CNN like it's their job because their job is not to report.

01:57:30.000 Yes.

01:57:30.000 No.

01:57:30.000 So much stuff.

01:57:30.000 It's to run ad space for self-lubricating pocket catheters and gay stuff.

01:57:35.000 You had a correction here regarding our giveaways tonight.

01:57:38.000 So we're going to be doing a lot of giveaways and because we have so many exciting things,

01:57:42.000 commercial breaks, guests, whatever, we will be probably having to give more of these gifts

01:57:47.000 away afterwards and that's fine.

01:57:50.000 I can do it because my wife and I volunteered for years.

01:57:52.000 So before you judge me, we volunteered to help special needs people.

01:57:55.000 You just called them retarded. 0.97

01:57:56.000 So I don't know why you feel the right to judge me.

01:57:58.000 I can't say that.

01:57:59.000 I was about to say his name.

01:58:00.000 He used to, anytime you tell a story, he would go, yes?

01:58:04.000 And then you start talking.

01:58:04.000 Anyone talk.

01:58:05.000 Just talk for a second.

01:58:07.000 Yes?

01:58:09.000 And then he'd end your phrase.

01:58:11.000 OK.

01:58:12.000 Oh, no!

01:58:13.000 No!

01:58:13.000 Campo!

01:58:14.000 No!

01:58:15.000 And he would do that every single time and hit you. 0.76

01:58:16.000 He'd strike you? 0.99

01:58:17.000 And one time he called me a retard. 0.94

01:58:20.000 What was the look on your face? 0.92

01:58:23.000 Come on, tell me.

01:58:24.000 I just laughed!

01:58:25.000 I just laughed!

01:58:26.000 Why would I get mad?

01:58:26.000 Like, who am I to tell him that he can't?

01:58:28.000 It was funny.

01:58:28.000 Oh, it's hilarious!

01:58:30.000 But what he would do is he would do that, and he would do it when you were telling, like, Bible stories, because this was at a church.

01:58:35.000 So you'd do, like, praise and worship, Bible stories, and snack time.

01:58:38.000 And then Daniel was thrown in the lion's den.

01:58:44.000 And then they came back the next day to see, and he was still alive.

01:58:49.000 Oh, no, no, Daniel, okay, good.

01:58:54.000 He's a pro-lion guy!

01:59:00.000 I tell you what, having volunteered with special needs people, there is an untapped resource there.

01:59:05.000 We see them as obviously like, you know, what do they say now, special needs, mentally handicapped, but there were certain things that they could laser in on that most people who don't have those disabilities, whatever you want to call it, That we would never be able to do in a million years.

01:59:19.000 There was a guy named Scott.

01:59:20.000 You can go back and watch this.

01:59:21.000 It was a pro-life video that we did, because a huge portion of babies now who are known to have disabilities before they're born are aborted.

01:59:28.000 And there was one guy who could tell you, you could name any song, any rock song, from probably 1961 through today.

01:59:35.000 He could tell you the track listings on the whole album, the B-sides, which recording studio. 0.89

01:59:42.000 And I felt like an idiot, because he would walk in and go, smoke on the water! 0.95

01:59:47.000 I don't know. 1.00

01:59:48.000 I'm going to sound like an idiot right now. 0.98

01:59:49.000 I'll be like, 1968, this I was to record in the studio. 0.99

01:59:51.000 You know that one?

01:59:52.000 I'd be like, yeah, because I'm not special needs.

01:59:54.000 I should know that.

01:59:56.000 And instead I would just lie.

01:59:58.000 I'd be like, do you know, uh, Alice Cooper's school's out?

02:00:01.000 And then he'd be like, yeah, and he'd name me everything about it.

02:00:04.000 And then I went home wanting to swallow a knife.

02:00:06.000 Well, yeah, that's a reasonable response.

02:00:07.000 And the guy was showing you up.

02:00:08.000 And the same thing, there was some other, it's the math.

02:00:08.000 He's cooler than you are.

02:00:10.000 There was one guy who could do math equations so quickly.

02:00:13.000 It was remarkable.

02:00:14.000 Hey, I bet you some people who can't do math equations, let's go to CNN.

02:00:18.000 Now it's time for our live fact checking.

02:00:20.000 Let's see who's talking.

02:00:21.000 Not equally in all states, but we've got to try to figure out how the balance of those two forces will play out.

02:00:29.000 But certainly our numbers are going to go up once we take that all into account.

02:00:34.000 Can you give me a little more juice there, AudioAge?

02:00:37.000 Has that happened around the world?

02:00:40.000 Oh, can we show our folks actually?

02:00:43.000 Reg the Bandit, I believe, is on with us.

02:00:45.000 Glenn Beck was asking me, how many researchers do you have doing this?

02:00:48.000 Precisely one.

02:00:50.000 But we only need one, Reg the Bandit.

02:00:52.000 He's so secretive, he doesn't have a camera right now.

02:00:52.000 Is he there?

02:00:54.000 Okay, alright, that's fine.

02:00:55.000 I don't want people to see him because I want him all for myself.

02:00:55.000 Good.

02:00:58.000 Mysterious.

02:00:59.000 And his contract does not have a match clause.

02:01:03.000 He lives in Jakarta.

02:01:04.000 If you want to go look more up, Jakarta.

02:01:06.000 Super deep.

02:01:06.000 I love how much Anderson's contributing there.

02:01:07.000 Many of the models I look at, Dr. Murray, don't extend out a few days or a few weeks.

02:01:11.000 and who's lucky enough to have the quick decline must be related to at some level to you know

02:01:16.000 behavior and social distancing but we're having a hard time predicting in advance.

02:01:21.000 I love how much Anderson's you know contributing there.

02:01:24.000 Many of the models I look at Dr. Murray don't extend out a few days or a few weeks.

02:01:28.000 Yours goes to August. I'm curious how did you pick August and and what are your expectations after that?

02:01:36.000 I love how, by the way, they say, new model, project 72,000.

02:01:40.000 Oh, really?

02:01:41.000 That's interesting.

02:01:42.000 You're really taking a risk there.

02:01:44.000 You know what?

02:01:46.000 I think that we've probably had around 60,000 deaths so far.

02:01:49.000 Really?

02:01:49.000 The experts got nothing right.

02:01:52.000 You said 2.2 million, and then your revised number was 100 to 240,000.

02:01:58.000 When social distancing would take effect?

02:02:00.000 And now we're like, well, he said 72,000.

02:02:03.000 At the very end, he put the plus just in case.

02:02:07.000 It's like midnight on election night.

02:02:09.000 Everybody's like, it looks like Donald Trump's going to be president.

02:02:13.000 Maybe.

02:02:14.000 A new model.

02:02:15.000 And what is the margin of error on your model, Dr. Christopher Murray?

02:02:20.000 Plus or minus 2.2 million.

02:02:22.000 I do like the fact that at one point it was 140th of the projection is where we're at, right?

02:02:28.000 So if you keep saying that, and now they've revised it down from 2.2 million to 72,000, so now we're going to have 140th of that, which means, you know, people are going to be coming back from the dead when they go back and do... No!

02:02:39.000 Michael Jackson?

02:02:39.000 You think I'm joking?

02:02:40.000 They're going to go back and redo the autopsies and realize, oh, wait a minute!

02:02:44.000 Pennsylvania took 200 out right away, and they did it very quietly.

02:02:47.000 And keep in mind that there were over 3,000 in a day in New York that were completely untested.

02:02:51.000 Hey, Steven, we got Reg.

02:02:53.000 Oh, we have Reg.

02:02:54.000 We have Reg the Research Bandit.

02:02:55.000 Let's see him there.

02:02:56.000 Reg, are you with us?

02:02:59.000 Hello, how are you doing?

02:03:00.000 I'm doing fine.

02:03:01.000 I don't want to hear from you. 0.97

02:03:02.000 That's not the right way to wear a mask, you prick. 0.84

02:03:06.000 He's a brilliant researcher.

02:03:09.000 He has a Mensa-level IQ, and he puts the mask underneath his nostrils.

02:03:16.000 I tried to give enough room that you can still understand my speech, because when I get it up here... Yes, because you speak through your nasal cavity.

02:03:24.000 I don't know, you get a little resonance right here.

02:03:27.000 Hey, hey, hey! 0.55

02:03:28.000 Don't pull it down! 0.98

02:03:29.000 I do like that you can see the Muppet porn he's watching. 0.97

02:03:32.000 Right? 0.98

02:03:35.000 No, that's just Anderson Cooper.

02:03:36.000 The mirrored glasses were a bad choice.

02:03:39.000 Alright, well thank you Reg.

02:03:40.000 We're gonna go, we're gonna watch some CNN and live fact check it and you help us.

02:03:43.000 You're a brilliant man.

02:03:44.000 We're glad to have you with us.

02:03:46.000 I'll be on call.

02:03:49.000 If there is one person who I don't want mad at me, it's that man.

02:03:50.000 I mean, come on.

02:03:53.000 If there is one person who I don't want mad at me, it's that man.

02:03:58.000 I'm very nice to him.

02:03:59.000 There have been...

02:04:00.000 That man has led to the arrest of pedophiles, Antifa members, and he squat 630. 0.62

02:04:08.000 That's true.

02:04:09.000 Terrifying.

02:04:11.000 Alright, let's go back to CNN.

02:04:13.000 People need to hear the lies so we can factor it.

02:04:14.000 Hey guys, question.

02:04:16.000 Can you take your cats to the vet?

02:04:18.000 That's what CNN wants to know.

02:04:19.000 To put them down?

02:04:20.000 Stop it! 0.99

02:04:21.000 Cats are the worst. 1.00

02:04:23.000 Shut up. 1.00

02:04:24.000 A cat is fine. 1.00

02:04:25.000 He's so angry.

02:04:26.000 Who here would know more about cats than him?

02:04:28.000 I'm not eating them.

02:04:29.000 We're not talking about your favorite musical.

02:04:33.000 I liked the movie, okay?

02:04:34.000 Not the musical.

02:04:35.000 Kidding.

02:04:36.000 Why is he still here?

02:04:37.000 Why would you say that?

02:04:39.000 You promised me he'd be gone if he talked about cats again.

02:04:45.000 Alright, hold on.

02:04:46.000 I need to see something.

02:04:47.000 Your expertise has always been so much.

02:04:48.000 You're seeing this train wreck on CNN.

02:04:51.000 Thank you, Anderson.

02:04:53.000 Quick reminder at the bottom of your screen, you'll see our social media scroll shows some of the questions that you're sending us.

02:04:58.000 Please follow me.

02:04:58.000 You can tweet us your questions with the hashtag CNN Town Hall.

02:05:01.000 Another cat question.

02:05:02.000 This would be like 17 cat questions.

02:05:04.000 This is just Anderson Cooper's partner texting from his west side village.

02:05:09.000 Anderson, what about our cows?

02:05:10.000 Oh, hold on!

02:05:10.000 Grey's Anatomy!

02:05:11.000 Also Baltimore's former health commissioner.

02:05:13.000 So, Dr. Wen, with this latest coronavirus modeling showing an increase in the estimated deaths nationwide, and as they're gonna now incorporate the ending of social distancing, it's likely to go up.

02:05:23.000 Does it concern you that so many states are relaxing their ordinance?

02:05:26.000 Okay, fact check!

02:05:26.000 Alright, drink, fact check!

02:05:28.000 Okay.

02:05:30.000 Because of social distancing, it's likely to go up.

02:05:33.000 No, if you actually look at the numbers, before social distancing could take effect, it went down, and there is no correlation between the lock- I should say, not necessarily the social distancing, but the lockdowns, right?

02:05:45.000 The lockdowns.

02:05:46.000 Before the lockdowns went into effect, the numbers went down, and there's no correlation between places that have done full lockdowns and shutting down the virus.

02:05:52.000 People point to Sweden a whole lot.

02:05:54.000 I hate that Sweden's been used as political football because Donald Trump today was saying they have a disaster because the left's been trying to say that it was a disaster.

02:05:59.000 There's actually, I think, a headline we can bring up from CNN earlier today that said, Death rates soar in Sweden.

02:06:05.000 Here's why.

02:06:05.000 Well, hold on a second.

02:06:07.000 Apparently, soar is a synonym for exactly middle of the pack.

02:06:11.000 Yeah.

02:06:12.000 In all of Europe.

02:06:14.000 Because Sweden is below Belgium, below France, below Italy, below Spain, I think below Switzerland.

02:06:20.000 If I'm not mistaken, I think they might be below the UK at this point and above some other countries.

02:06:25.000 Right?

02:06:25.000 So you want to say... and they had no lockdown at all.

02:06:28.000 They didn't even quarantine older individuals.

02:06:31.000 Now that being said, there's a difference between lockdown and social distancing.

02:06:34.000 If you look at the states, for example, the great state of Texas, or you look at Georgia, they're easing the lockdown so people can go back to work, but of course they are still following federal guidelines and there's a four-phase plan.

02:06:45.000 Is it four or is it up to 14 now?

02:06:46.000 I have no idea.

02:06:47.000 They keep adding phases.

02:06:48.000 They're encouraging social distancing, but they aren't locking people in their houses against their will.

02:06:54.000 So for them right now, they go, well, we're revising the death rate because of easing.

02:06:58.000 You're not revising it because you think the number is going to go up because of easing social distancing.

02:06:58.000 No, you're not.

02:07:01.000 You're just looking at the patterns now because we actually have some data where you didn't have it before.

02:07:07.000 So you made up numbers like 2.2 million, which is likely mathematically impossible unless the entire continent of the United States was covered by an old folks home. 1.00

02:07:17.000 An old folks dome. 0.98

02:07:19.000 Dome, yeah.

02:07:19.000 So a question, they were saying basically they just wanted to spread the number of cases out, not cut the number of cases down that we actually had, right?

02:07:26.000 That was the flattening the curve, right?

02:07:28.000 Am I correct in saying that?

02:07:29.000 Overall, we're still going to have the same number of people eventually get this.

02:07:32.000 Wouldn't that mean the same number of deaths as well?

02:07:35.000 Just in a longer period of time?

02:07:36.000 Actually, it could be worse.

02:07:37.000 And this is something that people are talking about.

02:07:38.000 Wait, who's this guy?

02:07:39.000 Hold on, let's watch this real quick.

02:07:40.000 He's a high school student.

02:07:40.000 He's a kid.

02:07:41.000 No, no, that's young Wolverine.

02:07:42.000 Soccer player. 1.00

02:07:45.000 Stop licking hairy assholes. 1.00

02:07:46.000 Yeah, that's herpy. 1.00

02:07:47.000 We need to get Dr. Joy.

02:07:48.000 You want to say on national television?

02:07:49.000 with this symptom or any remedies. 1.00

02:07:52.000 Stop licking hairy assholes. 1.00

02:07:54.000 Yeah, that's herpes. 1.00

02:07:54.000 We need to get Dr. Choi. 1.00

02:07:56.000 You don't want to say that on national television?

02:07:58.000 It's all him.

02:07:59.000 Where's Dr. Choi?

02:08:00.000 Oh, I want to see the answer to this.

02:08:02.000 Well, as far as I know, there is no association that we know... As far as I know... As far as I know, there's no association between COVID-19 and pustules on your tongue.

02:08:18.000 The guy in the middle is like, he's got that smile where he's gritting his teeth because he can see that someone in the back is getting fired for letting that message go through.

02:08:29.000 That'll take care of that.

02:08:37.000 It's my favorite activity while my partner tweets about cats.

02:08:42.000 Repeated shaking with chills, muscle pain, headaches, sore throat, loss of taste or smell.

02:08:48.000 They just named, by the way, every time I get off a plane.

02:08:53.000 Every time I get off a plane, outside of the fever and chills, I have a sore throat, I'm tired.

02:08:57.000 I don't know about you, but when I travel and I'm in a long plane ride, my taste and smell is always a little bit messed up.

02:09:03.000 And I noticed that most of all when I went to Florida last time because I was in a cigar lounge.

02:09:07.000 And I was like, everything is just muted.

02:09:10.000 And I was having cigars that I really typically like.

02:09:12.000 And the guy who owns the cigar lounge, who actually used to run the Havana room in New York, so he knew Rudy Giuliani and Rush Limbaugh and all these people who would come in.

02:09:20.000 He said, oh, he said, have you flown lately?

02:09:22.000 Have you taken a long flight?

02:09:23.000 I said, yeah, I've been flying a lot.

02:09:24.000 He goes, yeah, that's actually very common for people.

02:09:25.000 You're in the dry air.

02:09:27.000 Often you might have a cold and you don't know it.

02:09:29.000 Something about the compression, decompression.

02:09:31.000 But he said for me, if I take long flights, even when I fly to, if I go to Europe, because sometimes he'll be doing these cigar tastings, I make sure that I leave myself a day to acclimate.

02:09:42.000 And you only notice this probably with wine, something that's really more palate sensitive.

02:09:45.000 Yeah, when I travel out to Napa Valley, you know?

02:09:48.000 Had the same kind of thing happen.

02:09:49.000 Doesn't taste nearly as good until the fifth winery of the day.

02:09:51.000 Yeah, but that's because you get drunk on the plane.

02:09:53.000 Yeah, I mean you're smashed at that point.

02:09:55.000 So what's the point of these questions on the bottom?

02:09:57.000 I'm not sure.

02:09:58.000 This is people sending in their questions.

02:10:00.000 They're not actually being... Oh, panic!

02:10:03.000 Oh my god.

02:10:04.000 Bill and Melinda Gates.

02:10:05.000 Oh boy. 0.95

02:10:07.000 This is disgusting. 0.77

02:10:08.000 So many levels. 1.00

02:10:09.000 Disgusting. 0.99

02:10:10.000 I don't know. 0.99

02:10:11.000 I don't know.

02:10:14.000 Is this gonna kill me?

02:10:15.000 No, it'll do the opposite.

02:10:17.000 Are they microchipping?

02:10:19.000 What is that?

02:10:20.000 It's subdermal.

02:10:22.000 I don't know what carrier.

02:10:25.000 Melinda Gates or Sanjay Gupta on a beach party.

02:10:28.000 It's like I'm back in the studio with Brian Stelter.

02:10:31.000 I did, I'm good.

02:10:33.000 Oh look, Bill Gates is on television, but he's in here.

02:10:36.000 Which one do I shoot?

02:10:38.000 Who's the imposter? 1.00

02:10:39.000 All of them.

02:10:40.000 What is it?

02:10:41.000 What is it with CNN and showing people, showing their hosts training?

02:10:46.000 It's like Chris Cuomo sitting there like, hey, listen guys, you should be really responsible and get vaccinated.

02:10:51.000 Don't forget to have your pets spayed or neutered.

02:10:53.000 You don't have to be on the air dog.

02:10:57.000 Sanjay Gupta is jogging.

02:10:59.000 Look, there's Chris Cuomo again!

02:11:00.000 There he is.

02:11:02.000 What is it?

02:11:02.000 In a park.

02:11:03.000 I'll take it.

02:11:04.000 Put it in there.

02:11:05.000 I thought you weren't supposed to be in person.

02:11:06.000 I don't want anything to do with Bill or Melinda Gates.

02:11:10.000 I don't even care if it's Melinda Gates.

02:11:14.000 I want nothing to do with a woman who's dressed like the black and white cookie. 1.00

02:11:21.000 Melinda, next time shave. 0.98

02:11:25.000 She did it!

02:11:25.000 The next ones are going to be suppositories.

02:11:26.000 You're going to wish you took these.

02:11:30.000 That was lost on you guys.

02:11:35.000 Why are they lecturing these people who are out actually being socially distant?

02:11:38.000 Did you see those reporters?

02:11:40.000 I mean, come on.

02:11:41.000 They were jogging near a beach.

02:11:42.000 I think those are closed, technically, right?

02:11:44.000 How much do you want to bet that Sanjay Gupta puts on more bronzer to make himself look even more brown?

02:11:50.000 Like, just for job security.

02:11:51.000 He's smirking at himself!

02:11:51.000 Look at that!

02:11:52.000 That was my run.

02:11:53.000 That was a good clip right there.

02:11:54.000 I thought I tuned into the Bollywood channel for a moment.

02:11:56.000 Because I'm a leading man.

02:11:58.000 I thought I tuned into the Bollywood channel for a moment because I'm a leading man.

02:12:05.000 I don't care what William Morris and Debra said.

02:12:07.000 I think it's okay not to wear a mask.

02:12:10.000 I carry one with me if people are going to be around.

02:12:12.000 People are frightened, Anderson, so I think it, you know, like I said, I think it shows

02:12:17.000 that you're taking this seriously.

02:12:18.000 Yeah.

02:12:19.000 Dr. Wen, this next question came in via Facebook with our hashtag CNN Town Hall.

02:12:22.000 It's there at the bottom of the screen.

02:12:24.000 The question is, should we change our clothes after returning home from being in public

02:12:27.000 places like the grocery store.

02:12:29.000 This is news?

02:12:30.000 This is news?

02:12:33.000 I know that the virus can live on cardboard, it can live on plastic, I know it can live on fabric, but can it live on my fabric though?

02:12:43.000 Like what about like a nice silk?

02:12:44.000 The answer is no.

02:12:46.000 What about a nice silk?

02:12:47.000 I hear the worms have antimicrobial properties.

02:12:50.000 Die! 0.91

02:12:51.000 Career-wise. 0.99

02:12:52.000 Yes.

02:12:53.000 Physically.

02:12:54.000 Career-wise.

02:12:54.000 And not the doctor.

02:12:56.000 Just Sanjay Gupta. 0.84

02:12:57.000 I just want Sanjay Gupta's segment to die.

02:12:59.000 I love that Anderson Cooper hasn't changed.

02:13:01.000 This isn't like a serious interview and he hasn't changed how he's interviewing.

02:13:04.000 Is this serious?

02:13:05.000 Can you change your clothes after going out to the grocery store?

02:13:10.000 they're repeating questions. Yeah I know. They don't have enough people tweeting about CNN so

02:13:17.000 they have to repeat questions. Let's tweet at them. And the ones they're repeating are,

02:13:22.000 can you get COVID twice? Change my clothes. We have Carly Burton again on for the third time. 1.00

02:13:29.000 Okay.

02:13:30.000 ... spending the first few months of life in an ultra...

02:13:33.000 That was creepy.

02:13:33.000 Were they six feet away?

02:13:34.000 Unlikely.

02:13:34.000 impact on a child's immune system. Thank you. I'm not a doctor but yes. That was creepy.

02:13:41.000 Well Carly I'm in the same boat as you. First of all congratulations but I also

02:13:45.000 have a four-week-old and no one else has held the four-week-old other than my

02:13:50.000 immediate family and we're certainly not planning to go to any public places.

02:13:54.000 Look I wouldn't worry about lack of exposure for now because actually... You're holding your baby with tongs?

02:14:01.000 Just a couple of pool cues?

02:14:03.000 How are you holding your baby?

02:14:04.000 Let's just put him on Molec for a little bit.

02:14:06.000 What is that smile?

02:14:07.000 Anyway, and this outbreak is going to be over at some point and we will be able to see people

02:14:12.000 again.

02:14:13.000 And in the meantime, I would say you can also boost the baby's immunity by breastfeeding

02:14:17.000 if you can, doing a lot of skin to skin contact and just enjoying the baby.

02:14:22.000 That was her saying, by breastfeeding if you can, I don't. 0.98

02:14:31.000 What is Wade doing on CNN?

02:14:32.000 It's almost like Brodigan and Wade.

02:14:33.000 What is Wade doing on CNN?

02:14:35.000 It's almost like Brodigan and Wade.

02:14:39.000 It is.

02:14:41.000 I have a love for talent.

02:14:43.000 I didn't hear what it is.

02:14:45.000 Somebody's not going to have the vaccine.

02:14:47.000 That's a good point.

02:14:49.000 What we say is that the fatality rate for those who get infected with the seasonal flu is around .1.

02:14:54.000 Now keep in mind though, keep aside the vaccine for a second, because we all have lived on this planet, we all have some immunity to this seasonal flu because there's some variation of the flu.

02:15:06.000 It changes a bit every year, but we do develop some immunity.

02:15:09.000 And because a lot of people have been exposed, we start to develop some herd immunity.

02:15:14.000 All have immunity to the flu? 0.99

02:15:16.000 No, that's why some people get the FLU, ASSHOLE! 0.99

02:15:20.000 We also all live on this planet. 0.99

02:15:21.000 Did he just argue against getting the flu vaccine?

02:15:23.000 So in this country, if 30 million people become infected with the seasonal flu, which is not

02:15:31.000 that atypical, at least 30,000 people roughly would die of that.

02:15:34.000 So I think that's the way to sort of think about it.

02:15:37.000 Wait, did he just say roughly 30,000 people would die of the flu?

02:15:42.000 No, 2017-2018 with a vaccine at 62,000.

02:15:45.000 Normal is a huge variance, you can't pin a normal on that.

02:15:48.000 I'm sorry, I know you're trying to be Mr. Balanced here, but the fact is it goes from 12,000 to 80,000.

02:15:51.000 It goes from 12,000 to 80,000.

02:15:52.000 If you look at a through line for a hundred years, it's about 30,000 people a year, but

02:15:55.000 there are spikes.

02:15:56.000 But the question was in the absence of a vaccine.

02:15:59.000 Right.

02:15:59.000 An average year right now with the vaccine might be 30-something thousand, but we've had several years that were significantly beyond that.

02:16:06.000 Much higher, yeah.

02:16:06.000 And that matters because with the flu vaccine, I think it was 2017-2018 year, we can go to Reg, I think that was the season, right?

02:16:13.000 Because it goes from the fall through the winter through about May.

02:16:17.000 They initially had it at 80-something thousand deaths, and just like you said, then they revised it down to 62,000.

02:16:22.000 That's with the vaccine.

02:16:23.000 So it does matter when they're talking, they said, you know, the flu only has a 0.1% mortality rate.

02:16:28.000 Well, hold on a second.

02:16:29.000 What's the mortality rate that we're seeing right now for COVID-19?

02:16:32.000 It's between 0.5.

02:16:34.000 Some people are saying as low as 0.1.

02:16:37.000 Let's say it's 0.7.

02:16:39.000 It's still much closer to the flu than it was to the experts' projections.

02:16:43.000 Right, and he didn't even address that point of the question.

02:16:45.000 He just talked about the seasonal flu and said that some of the numbers are around 30,000.

02:16:49.000 He didn't say, yes, you're actually right.

02:16:51.000 It is closer to the flu than we thought.

02:16:53.000 Hold on.

02:16:53.000 We're both probably wrong.

02:16:54.000 Reg the Research Bandit, did I have that about right?

02:17:00.000 You got it right.

02:17:04.000 He's not right, Reg.

02:17:06.000 Give me the 20 year average flu deaths.

02:17:08.000 What's the 20 year average flu deaths, Reg?

02:17:11.000 Yearly average.

02:17:12.000 20 year average for flu deaths.

02:17:14.000 He's like, do do do do do do do.

02:17:17.000 Are you, are you, are you typing from an Ikea showroom?

02:17:20.000 What is that?

02:17:21.000 Is that an Elka?

02:17:25.000 This used to all be in an Ikea showroom.

02:17:28.000 Right?

02:17:29.000 It could be 40, but it's pretty close.

02:17:31.000 It just would be odd because you would think that if he has access, if he's in Sweden, he wouldn't be on lockdown.

02:17:36.000 It's true.

02:17:37.000 building Ikea shelves. Anyway, you know, you're here's the point that you're right in that there's

02:17:41.000 an average but that's including the flu vaccine and we have had significantly higher death rates.

02:17:46.000 Well and the misnomer is that basically or the false information is that the flu vaccine that

02:17:50.000 we have every year is going to prevent us from getting the flu that comes around that year.

02:17:53.000 That's why we have spikes. But don't you hear Sanjay Gupta who's a doctor? I know.

02:17:57.000 We all have immunity to the flu. We have some.

02:17:59.000 What does that even mean?

02:18:00.000 Does he mean to say that society at large... But the reason we don't have a cure for the common cold is that it's a different cold, it's a different strain.

02:18:07.000 So I don't understand the point that he was making there.

02:18:11.000 Like you said, it sounded like he was making the case against a flu vaccine.

02:18:14.000 I'm still back on I was told not to listen to doctors.

02:18:17.000 Susan Wojcicki told me, don't listen to doctors. 1.00

02:18:20.000 You should listen to the World Health Organization.

02:18:22.000 They know best.

02:18:23.000 They don't think the flu exists.

02:18:24.000 Is Sanjay there?

02:18:25.000 Is he at the who?

02:18:27.000 No idea.

02:18:28.000 But apparently Soledad O'Brien is doing ice cream commercials now. 1.00

02:18:32.000 And she's not even a lead!

02:18:34.000 Daily Harvest.

02:18:35.000 They just cut to someone else.

02:18:36.000 If they show that commercial again, bring it up.

02:18:38.000 That'd look like Soledad O'Brien if you put her in the aging freezer. 1.00

02:18:42.000 It looks like Soledad O'Brien if you just kept her under constant UV light. 1.00

02:18:47.000 So what is, when we're talking about the numbers in the European countries, what I really find interesting is no one is actually doing a comparison to say, okay, here are the different levels of lockdown, right?

02:19:00.000 Or, you know, different stages of quarantine, and then comparing death rates to levels of quarantine.

02:19:05.000 Right.

02:19:05.000 Because really what it comes down to is, we all acknowledge that, yes, you could eliminate all COVID deaths by just shooting everyone on the planet.

02:19:13.000 You could also... So what tends to work?

02:19:15.000 That's China's plan. 0.98

02:19:17.000 Don't steal it.

02:19:19.000 I'm not stealing my own plan.

02:19:22.000 At least half of it.

02:19:23.000 Let me be the lawyer here.

02:19:25.000 You play the lawyer.

02:19:26.000 The point being, if you're looking at when you see Sweden in the middle of the pack, and sure, is Sweden going to have more deaths today or tomorrow than it does today? 0.57

02:19:34.000 Sure.

02:19:34.000 Is the number going to keep going up for at least some period of time?

02:19:37.000 Sure.

02:19:37.000 But if they're at the middle of the pack with having virtually no public restrictions, then we need to look at what are the restrictions that really matter, yet you have other countries that are in complete lockdown where their numbers are soaring.

02:19:48.000 Well, you can even look at states.

02:19:49.000 The states that have the most severe lockdowns are New York, California, and Michigan.

02:19:53.000 Nary a COVID case to be found!

02:19:56.000 Now, again, it's tough to compare that.

02:19:58.000 Why?

02:19:58.000 Because of population density.

02:20:00.000 That being said, you're not really making the population density argument with Michigan, say, versus Ohio.

02:20:05.000 Oh, God!

02:20:06.000 Oh, man!

02:20:08.000 Oh, God!

02:20:08.000 Oh, man!

02:20:09.000 Oh, God!

02:20:10.000 Let's see what Bill Gates has to say.

02:20:12.000 I was just gonna say, Reg says that average for the last 7 years is over 40,000.

02:20:12.000 Smirky McGee.

02:20:16.000 So?

02:20:16.000 That was 7 years!

02:20:19.000 I said 100.

02:20:19.000 You think they were measuring?

02:20:23.000 What do you think they were measuring? 1.00

02:20:24.000 Flu deaths with a sundial, you son of a bitch? 1.00

02:20:26.000 1918, you don't remember that one? 1.00

02:20:29.000 That was a big one.

02:20:29.000 Let's take that one out.

02:20:31.000 It's true.

02:20:33.000 I was making a joke, but I realized that a joke needs to be based in truth, and obviously Actually, no.

02:20:38.000 They do smallpox because they're just like, these symptoms are so severe.

02:20:41.000 I bet you they couldn't have told you the difference between a cold and a flu back then.

02:20:44.000 It would have been tough, I bet.

02:20:46.000 But you know what?

02:20:46.000 Nothing a few leeches can't fix.

02:20:48.000 A little bloodletting, something like that. 0.91

02:20:50.000 Just bleed it out of him. 0.96

02:20:51.000 Go out west, get some sun, Doc. 0.91

02:20:53.000 Cocaine?

02:20:54.000 We do have the best sun.

02:20:55.000 Very best sun.

02:20:56.000 King of suns.

02:20:56.000 No.

02:20:56.000 A little Shakespearean.

02:20:57.000 Is it giving a feedback if you bring it up?

02:20:59.000 will we be lulled into complacency in the summer only to be pushed back up in the fall?

02:21:08.000 And there's a lag time as people- There's a little Shakespearean in it.

02:21:10.000 ... a little more juice, audio-way when you bring it up.

02:21:12.000 Or is it giving a feedback if you bring it up?

02:21:14.000 No, we got it.

02:21:15.000 We got it.

02:21:16.000 So you can think, hey, these policies are good, let's go looser, and yet the people's

02:21:20.000 behavior is just starting to take advantage of those.

02:21:24.000 And so very quickly you can get yourself back into exponential growth. 0.99

02:21:27.000 Damn that freedom. 0.99

02:21:28.000 It never was. 1.00

02:21:29.000 Hold on.

02:21:30.000 That's a lie.

02:21:31.000 It was never exponential growth.

02:21:32.000 No, it was never exponential growth.

02:21:33.000 Never grew exponentially, ever.

02:21:34.000 I've been talking to a lot of people and there does seem to be this cognitive-

02:21:37.000 Hold on a second, and here's also what matters, by the way.

02:21:38.000 Do you notice that the goal posts have changed?

02:21:40.000 We can probably bring up Elon Musk's tweet about, and what's funny is the leftists are like, this proves that it worked because he showed Gavin Newsom's predictions with no intervention, Gavin Newsom's prediction with social distancing, I think it was March 30th, and then Gavin Newsom's...

02:21:55.000 Yeah.

02:21:55.000 with social distancing, I think somewhere in April, right?

02:21:59.000 And the hospital capacity, or how much of their capacity they had filled, remained constant.

02:22:04.000 Because again, keep in mind, the idea here was never that we could eliminate all COVID

02:22:08.000 deaths.

02:22:09.000 Even starting with the idea that it could be 2 million, and they said, maybe we can

02:22:12.000 lower it down to 220,000.

02:22:14.000 We just have to make sure that those don't all happen.

02:22:16.000 When?

02:22:17.000 In April.

02:22:18.000 That was the reason for the lockdown, to not overburden hospitals.

02:22:21.000 Now, undeniably, hospitals are furloughing, they're laying off workers, and they are not at full capacity.

02:22:28.000 The extra hospitals that have been opened up, they don't need them.

02:22:31.000 There you go, right there.

02:22:31.000 Yes, it was a prediction.

02:22:32.000 April 1st and April 10th.

02:22:33.000 Okay, I was pretty close.

02:22:34.000 That's the actual data.

02:22:36.000 And he posted that, and people think that he's a A Nazi for crying out loud.

02:22:39.000 So we need to be clear about what the goal was.

02:22:42.000 We never said that we could eliminate all COVID deaths.

02:22:44.000 It's not possible.

02:22:46.000 You can't do it.

02:22:47.000 It was flatten the curve, flatten the curve, flatten the curve.

02:22:49.000 And now they've switched the meaning of flatten the curve to go from not overburdening the healthcare system to flattening the curve so that we just don't see a peak in deaths at any point at all.

02:23:00.000 Well, listen, if we don't develop herd immunity, of course we're going to see a peak in the fall, like you see with flu.

02:23:04.000 And that's the argument that people are making with Sweden, that there could be some kind of a herd immunity.

02:23:09.000 Now, where that number is and how much, you know, whether it takes effect, if you don't have an effective vaccine yet, that remains to be seen.

02:23:15.000 That being said, let me read you a couple of examples here, okay?

02:23:18.000 Because this really matters.

02:23:19.000 Let me read you some of the COVID deaths when we're talking about these deaths and deaths that could spike.

02:23:23.000 Meet Mr. McNally.

02:23:25.000 of the first thousand COVID deaths.

02:23:26.000 I'm not using their first name.

02:23:27.000 He had surgeries for lung cancer, several, and then he was registered as a COVID death.

02:23:32.000 Mr. Siegel was 89 years old.

02:23:33.000 He had prostate cancer, melanoma, had multiple heart surgeries, and he was listed as a COVID death.

02:23:39.000 The lowest person I could find on this list was Mrs. Peavy. 1.00

02:23:42.000 She's 58.

02:23:43.000 She was a smoker, heart failure, pneumonia, pulmonary disease.

02:23:46.000 They listed the cause of death as COVID.

02:23:48.000 Now listen, all deaths matter.

02:23:49.000 All deaths are tragic.

02:23:50.000 I want to be really clear, but here's the thing.

02:23:52.000 If you look at these numbers, these people, And you look at the stats.

02:23:55.000 The stats are very clear, right?

02:23:57.000 90-something percent.

02:23:58.000 I was playing it conservatively, saying 80% of the deaths are coming from people who are 70 years or older with comorbidities.

02:24:04.000 It's really 90 to 95%.

02:24:06.000 New York, I think they said a 95%.

02:24:08.000 Reg can bring that up.

02:24:08.000 I think Italy had it at 98%, which is a good portion of Italy.

02:24:12.000 The point here is, you don't save the infirm by quarantining the healthy.

02:24:18.000 The only chance, if we understand and we are truthful, rather than trying to engage and to feed into media sensationalism, if we understand that this is a disease that affects people who already have pre-existing conditions, severe pre-existing conditions, and are at or beyond life expectancy, the best thing you can do is quarantine those people, the vulnerable, the sick, and let those who are robust and can withstand it go out and let the virus run its course so that these people don't have to be quarantined for years to come.

02:24:48.000 Right now is the time for them to stay home because we know, statistically, old, sick, they can stay home so people of a .01 to .05 percent, meaning people below the age of 50 who are not sick, can go out, let the virus run its course, so that they're not nearly as contagious when the old people go back out into the wild. 1.00

02:25:09.000 I was just going to say, we do have the headline from Reg, and we also have Nick DiPaolo on the line.

02:25:14.000 Oh, we do have Nick DiPaolo!

02:25:16.000 Okay, well, hopefully Nick DiPaolo understands that we had Donald Trump Jr.

02:25:19.000 who called the Democrats asshats, so we ran a little bit late, and then we have to get to our Our Illuminati town hall with Bill Gates.

02:25:27.000 But right now, one of the funniest men walking the face of the earth.

02:25:32.000 If you want to see one of the best pure stand-up comedians, period, ever, you watch this man.

02:25:38.000 I don't have the notes.

02:25:38.000 I know he has a podcast on YouTube.

02:25:40.000 It's available everywhere podcasts are.

02:25:42.000 But he will give me the website, angrily, no doubt.

02:25:44.000 Mr. DiPaolo, how are you, sir?

02:25:47.000 Very well.

02:25:48.000 Thanks for having me on, Stephen Boyd. 0.83

02:25:50.000 I thought I'd be on a show where they use strong language like asshat. 0.98

02:25:55.000 Well, I didn't use it.

02:25:56.000 It was the president's son, who, by the way, refers to his dad as Donald Trump.

02:26:00.000 So, I... He was like, you know, they want to get Donald Trump.

02:26:04.000 Like, wait, do you mean your father?

02:26:06.000 Yeah, I come... Is that what he's saying?

02:26:09.000 Yes!

02:26:09.000 Imagine that Thanksgiving table.

02:26:11.000 Donald Trump passed the turkey.

02:26:12.000 Donald Trump's passing the potatoes.

02:26:15.000 Like a stepkid talking to his stepdad.

02:26:18.000 Hey, Jim!

02:26:19.000 Hey, wait a second!

02:26:20.000 Just to be clear here, Nick DiPaolo, right now, is coming out of the closet.

02:26:25.000 Because when you told me that you started cigarettes, and I said, have you considered vaping? 0.99

02:26:28.000 You said, eh, I don't want to be a fag. 1.00

02:26:30.000 And now I see you've got your jewel. 0.99

02:26:32.000 Nick, admit that that's a true conversation.

02:26:36.000 You couldn't be more wrong.

02:26:37.000 I do both.

02:26:40.000 At the same time.

02:26:42.000 Switch hitter.

02:26:43.000 ...anybody tells me anything.

02:26:47.000 Including this yellow fever we're experiencing.

02:26:50.000 Oh my god.

02:26:50.000 No offense to your guests.

02:26:53.000 No, that's okay.

02:26:53.000 It's only half of them.

02:26:54.000 And by the way, he hates the Chinese government because he's not a member of it, just like the Chinese people in China. 0.96

02:27:00.000 Let me ask you, first off, Nick, what's the plug?

02:27:02.000 Where can people go to watch your show?

02:27:03.000 Because you're all over the place.

02:27:05.000 NickDip.com.

02:27:06.000 Monday through Thursday, we drop it at 5 Eastern Time.

02:27:10.000 NickDip.com and, you know, YouTube.

02:27:14.000 Yeah.

02:27:14.000 And you're just tearing it up, and I'm glad that more people are watching.

02:27:17.000 Really, if you guys are looking for one of the funniest... I don't think that I've ever... I mean, Norm Macdonald comes... Norm Macdonald is up there, but as far as just bust-a-gut laughing... We were driving back from Austin, and it last changed my mind when Kiefer Sutherland showed up with a concrete milkshake.

02:27:31.000 Johnny Boy and I were listening to Nick DiPaolo in tears laughing to the point where my wife was with her noise-canceling headphones behind us, and she's like, She just didn't understand.

02:27:41.000 Uh, Nick... She sounds like a party animal. 1.00

02:27:44.000 She couldn't hear, you know, she was listening to soothing dolphin sounds or whatever it is, which wasn't so soothing when I told her that dolphins commit gang rape.

02:27:51.000 It's an episode of Lock Up with Flipper, but she didn't get this.

02:27:54.000 Hey, Nick, let me ask you.

02:27:55.000 You moved from... She committed gang rape. 0.99

02:27:58.000 Hey, Nick, uh... Apologize.

02:28:01.000 Uh, but I don't.

02:28:02.000 So, you, um, moved from New York, and I don't think I'm letting the cat out of the bag.

02:28:05.000 You've talked about this on air.

02:28:06.000 You're in Georgia now, right?

02:28:08.000 Yeah, I moved to Savannah and everybody was making fun of me when I left New York.

02:28:14.000 Yeah, because... I've been hiding behind body bags.

02:28:18.000 Well, let me ask you this.

02:28:20.000 Right now, has that provided you new perspective on this pandemic?

02:28:23.000 Because when I lived in New York, I remember thinking, oh my gosh, if there's some kind of a disaster, I can't get out.

02:28:29.000 I mean, if I wanted to get to work on a weekday and I was in the Upper East Side, I couldn't get on the Green Line, let alone if I wanted to get off the island.

02:28:35.000 Has it changed your perception?

02:28:38.000 Uh, absolutely.

02:28:39.000 I, you know, we were talking about this and people are saying, why is New York such a hotbed?

02:28:44.000 And I said to one of my comedian buddies, are you kidding me?

02:28:46.000 Do you remember when you used to go to the men's room at the comedy cellar?

02:28:50.000 You'd brush crotches with three guys on the way out by accident.

02:28:54.000 There's no way to move.

02:28:57.000 It's the most densely parked, you know, it's, it's just, uh, And they're all laughing at me, and I came down here and absolutely love it.

02:29:06.000 I was sort of a northern redneck, at least according to my friends.

02:29:15.000 I just like the attitude down here.

02:29:17.000 I like Governor Kemp saying, hey, we're going to do what we do, all right?

02:29:20.000 We're going to roll the dice.

02:29:22.000 And what's that looking like for you guys?

02:29:24.000 Because it's very comparable to Texas, where we are, where I think a lot of people in New York, they think that folks in Georgia or folks in Texas are just throwing open the doors and going hog wild.

02:29:33.000 And that's certainly not the case here.

02:29:35.000 I would imagine.

02:29:36.000 I think it's working out great.

02:29:38.000 My wife went to a nail salon and she got products. 1.00

02:29:40.000 I think it's working out great.

02:29:44.000 I was just talking about that with my wife.

02:29:48.000 These restaurants, they have permission to open now, and they're not even opening.

02:29:56.000 The media's got everybody scared.

02:29:58.000 I'm sorry, I don't want to use the word sham, but It's such, oh, the statistics you were just mentioning.

02:30:07.000 Right.

02:30:07.000 So right on the money.

02:30:09.000 You know, if you're under 75 and you don't have lung cancer, you know, you don't have much to worry about.

02:30:15.000 Let's be honest here.

02:30:16.000 Right.

02:30:16.000 This is a bad flu.

02:30:18.000 Yeah.

02:30:18.000 No, I think, and people tried to say that you were, you know, people were science deniers if you said that.

02:30:22.000 It's like, well, hold on a second.

02:30:23.000 Flu is 0.1 and the original death rates of, I'm not, I saw as low as, as low as 4, as high as 7.

02:30:29.000 And really, let's say it's That's the least conservative estimate at this point, the most liberal estimate.

02:30:33.000 In New York, from Cuomo, he said 0.5.

02:30:34.000 That's still a lot closer to the flu.

02:30:37.000 And certainly with young people, it's even lower.

02:30:39.000 Yeah, that's remarkable to me that a lot of people aren't opening.

02:30:42.000 And Nick, here's one thing that I think, this is why it always surprises me when people say like, oh, you're a comedian, but you're a conservative.

02:30:48.000 You know, you used to get whenever they did a Comedy Central roast, they'd talk about you being a Republican.

02:30:52.000 I go, well, hold on a second.

02:30:53.000 At least we're self-aware, because, you know, we understand when they say there's a new normal.

02:30:58.000 We don't have a restaurant with 200 capacity, and Anderson Cooper's not demanding that we only have 60 seats in there.

02:31:03.000 Like, we are not affected, and these people in the media are not affected by the new normal nearly as much as the average American business owner or worker, and I think at least we have some self-awareness that, you know, we're privileged and that we don't have to worry about capacity, because that would destroy Georgia and Texas.

02:31:20.000 I guess it would, but I tell you, I'm hearing comedians talk about, oh, stand-up's never gonna come back.

02:31:28.000 Do you agree with any of that? 1.00

02:31:30.000 No, I think they're pussies. 1.00

02:31:32.000 We never shut down! 0.99

02:31:33.000 What you're seeing right now, we never shut down.

02:31:35.000 I went to my employees and I said, and I spoke with my legal counsel, you're my half-Asian lawyer, I said, there's an acceptable risk, and there's an unacceptable risk, and then everyone said, oh yeah, no, we're 99% sure that we got it in January, because two guys here we thought had it, and we do jujitsu in the office, so like, it's like they were, you know, breathing and sweating into our face, like dragging me to hell.

02:31:54.000 So we all had it!

02:31:56.000 Everybody's saying that they had it, but I'm not kidding you.

02:31:59.000 I know I had it.

02:32:00.000 In the middle of March, I went to Chicago, right?

02:32:03.000 Oof.

02:32:04.000 I shook hands.

02:32:05.000 Two sold-out shows.

02:32:07.000 Things are finally kicking.

02:32:08.000 I'd sold out five out of my six last shows.

02:32:10.000 Finally making the money that I've been wanting to make for years.

02:32:14.000 Never been happier. 1.00

02:32:15.000 Not complaining about getting on a goddamn plane. 1.00

02:32:17.000 You poor son of a bitch! 1.00

02:32:21.000 I said you poor son of a bitch, because I remember I was talking on the phone, and you were like, ah, you know, I don't want to have to be going there and doing hilarities in fucking Hasbro Heights, and now you're selling out theaters, and this thing hits because of the Chinese! 1.00

02:32:33.000 Yeah, I know. 1.00

02:32:36.000 Somebody has some bat wing soup, but anyway, I shook hands after both shows. 0.99

02:32:45.000 I must have, I'm not kidding you, Steven, I must have shaken 200 hands after the shows, meet and greet.

02:32:51.000 I walk into the green room and I go, hey, who's slice of pizza is that?

02:32:54.000 They go, you can have it.

02:32:58.000 That reminds me of Mr. Morogatou.

02:33:00.000 Yeah, he never finishes the second half.

02:33:03.000 It's okay, you can have it.

02:33:04.000 As I'm finishing the crust, I go, oh jeez.

02:33:10.000 I feel fine that night.

02:33:11.000 This is true.

02:33:12.000 I get home.

02:33:15.000 I go to bed, I wake up about two in the morning, I have to use the bathroom, I get up and just like Cuomo said, my teeth were chattering and my whole body was convulsing.

02:33:27.000 I have never had chills like that in my life.

02:33:30.000 Went to sleep, soaked through my sheets and it happened the next night too.

02:33:35.000 And I went to an urgent care, you know, it was in a parking lot behind an Applebee's in Fuller, Georgia.

02:33:41.000 I'm sure it was a good one.

02:33:42.000 Wow.

02:33:43.000 Not sure why we needed the Applebee's.

02:33:45.000 And they tested me, not for COVID, obviously, because this was early in the game, but they tested me for the regular flu.

02:33:51.000 And I know I didn't have a fever because it broke the night before.

02:33:54.000 So I test, but I know I've never had chills like that and never soaked through my sheets.

02:34:01.000 I definitely...

02:34:03.000 I think I picked something up at Zany's, ironically.

02:34:07.000 Yeah, I think that you possibly have the worst luck imaginable.

02:34:10.000 So here's what I will say.

02:34:11.000 I want you to prepare yourself for the fact that we're going to get back to normal.

02:34:15.000 Not a new normal.

02:34:16.000 We'll get back, your show's going to be doing really well, you'll continue selling out live events, doing your stand-up, and then the United States will be hit by a tsunami.

02:34:24.000 So that's how this ends.

02:34:27.000 Why does it always have to be the Asian thing that ruins it? 1.00

02:34:30.000 No, it's funnier that way, and Asians don't fight back. 1.00

02:34:34.000 So, what am I going to do? 0.99

02:34:36.000 Blame it on a black guy? 0.99

02:34:37.000 You want to take my life in my hands, Nick? 1.00

02:34:39.000 You're in Georgia.

02:34:40.000 There are going to be people watching this who are of that ilk.

02:34:43.000 I love that.

02:34:45.000 I'm in Savannah.

02:34:46.000 I've never been happier, man.

02:34:48.000 I've just never been happier.

02:34:50.000 Yeah, it is a friendly, it's funny.

02:34:52.000 I don't know about, okay, since we've dipped, you know, we've walked into the racism closet, my experience That's what they call it, yeah.

02:35:01.000 Well, I am, I am.

02:35:03.000 You tell me about, if this is yours, my experience with black women who are older, like over the age of 50, is fantastic.

02:35:12.000 Significantly above the societal average.

02:35:14.000 They're always nice, you always make their day if you give them a compliment.

02:35:18.000 But then, with black women my age, and Quarter Black Garrett has testified to this, far more grumpy. 0.98

02:35:25.000 There's a weird generational gap where I almost...

02:35:28.000 Yeah, absolutely.

02:35:30.000 Oh, absolutely.

02:35:32.000 I only date black women over 60. 0.85

02:35:33.000 That's a good rule. 0.97

02:35:37.000 There you go.

02:35:37.000 That's how he got to COVID, was banging Aunt Jemima.

02:35:40.000 So, uh, right.

02:35:42.000 Listen, uh, Like, can't we have the Blaze or something?

02:35:46.000 This is streaming. This is streaming everywhere.

02:35:49.000 We've already been banned from YouTube because we ran a clip of doctors saying, like, yeah, we shouldn't lock everybody down, and Facebook banned our frickin' page, so I don't care.

02:35:56.000 I know, I saw that guy, Eric said, there's a guy from the World Health Organization, was it today or yesterday, saying that Sweden is now the model we should be following. 0.58

02:36:05.000 They don't know what the F they're talking about.

02:36:07.000 Did I say F?

02:36:08.000 You can say whatever you want, Nick.

02:36:10.000 I don't really care.

02:36:10.000 This is live.

02:36:11.000 I never know with you. 1.00

02:36:12.000 I came on years ago and I, you know, I demonetized your whole fucking thing. 0.99

02:36:16.000 No, no, no, that's not true. 0.99

02:36:18.000 You know, Nick puts on this front, but he's really a big softie at heart.

02:36:20.000 Do you know how I know?

02:36:22.000 Because when he was on my show for the second time, I was in Grand Rapids, Michigan, and I remember because I was driving past Madcap, I picked up a cup of coffee.

02:36:28.000 Huh.

02:36:29.000 I get a call from Nick DiPaolo.

02:36:30.000 Well, you know what?

02:36:31.000 I shouldn't.

02:36:31.000 It's illegal in Michigan because it's, you know, you have that authoritarian wench over there.

02:36:35.000 I hung up.

02:36:36.000 Okay.

02:36:36.000 Then I get another call from Nick DiPaolo.

02:36:38.000 Huh.

02:36:38.000 Hang up.

02:36:39.000 Ignore.

02:36:39.000 Get another call from Nick DiPaolo.

02:36:40.000 And as far as I'm concerned, if someone calls me three times in a row and doesn't text, someone must be dead.

02:36:45.000 Instead, I pick up and Nick DiPaolo, this is, this is the very first thing. 1.00

02:36:49.000 Are you out of your fucking mind? 0.99

02:36:51.000 I go, what are you doing? 1.00

02:36:51.000 I'm doing your podcast. 1.00

02:36:53.000 They're doing a, trying to plug my show in Minneapolis. 0.99

02:36:55.000 You got my face next to a picture of fucking Muhammad. 1.00

02:36:59.000 You're the only one! 1.00

02:36:59.000 in the Bob Ruskets and you were freaking out and I was so surprised. Yeah, that's, that, you're the only one. That's 1.00

02:37:11.000 the only time I was a little bit scared. This is about two days after, you know, 8 Jews were slaughtered in France for

02:37:20.000 drawing attorneys. Yes, it was. I remember, and I was a little, you know, I

02:37:20.000 I like to let it die down here.

02:37:23.000 Steve, no disrespect, but I'm going to get killed by a Muslim. 1.00

02:37:27.000 I want it to be on my own terms. 1.00

02:37:29.000 Right, yes.

02:37:31.000 You'll write the satanic jokes.

02:37:33.000 Nick DiPaolo, we do have to get going and watch the Bill Gates Illuminati Town Hall.

02:37:38.000 Where's the best place for people to find you?

02:37:40.000 NickDip.com, and we record it in the afternoon, drop it at 5 o'clock Eastern, and it's on Facebook and everywhere else, YouTube, and it's finally catching on, and you're an inspiration, Steve, so I appreciate it.

02:37:54.000 Don't say that, because it'll be like that Blue Angels air show, where everyone followed the leader and went...

02:38:01.000 I think so.

02:38:02.000 Please follow somebody else.

02:38:04.000 Bill Gates could be a good example.

02:38:06.000 Thank you, Nick.

02:38:06.000 We appreciate it, brother.

02:38:07.000 Everyone, go to nickdip.com.

02:38:08.000 One of the funniest men alive.

02:38:10.000 Let's go to Bill Gates.

02:38:11.000 He looks like an angry Muppet. 0.66

02:38:12.000 like a angry Muppet animated you know it seems I was gonna say he looks like an

02:38:17.000 albino gecko well They screen-tested him for Geico commercials.

02:38:21.000 Now we're going to talk about vaccines.

02:38:22.000 Right.

02:38:22.000 They screen tested him for Geico commercials.

02:38:25.000 But if we get to this point that we're talking about, Bill, with testing and having enough

02:38:30.000 contact tracing, which you say, you know, we should be able to get to these things.

02:38:34.000 If we use your microchipping, Bill Gates.

02:38:36.000 Let me make sure I bring this up so I have it right because they'll fact check me if

02:38:39.000 I say microchip.

02:38:41.000 So first off, of course, you said that China did a good job.

02:38:43.000 He trashed the United States response.

02:38:44.000 He said that the World Health Organization is the best organization in the world at dealing with this stuff.

02:38:48.000 Really?

02:38:48.000 The organization that said it couldn't be transmitted through human-to-human contact?

02:38:53.000 You Windows 2000-inventing prick!

02:38:56.000 And then he said that we had no national tracking system, so he praised South Korea.

02:39:02.000 Does anyone else get absolutely terrified when we talk about contact tracing?

02:39:06.000 Like, people are worried about, like, it's like, I don't want to, oh my God, on my iPhone, I don't want to accept cookies someone might, I better put a sticky note on it.

02:39:14.000 Contact tracing so the South Korean government can dox me?

02:39:17.000 Sure, sign me up!

02:39:19.000 As long as it keeps me from experiencing I'll give you all my rights!

02:39:25.000 Or what is it, the 80% that are asymptomatic or whatever the number is?

02:39:27.000 It's incredibly high.

02:39:29.000 Reg, you can fact check me on that.

02:39:30.000 I think it's, I've heard anywhere from 25 to 40%.

02:39:32.000 He's been pushing a nationwide shutdown of everything.

02:39:35.000 And then what he wanted to install, let me bring this up from the Scientific American.

02:39:39.000 You guys can bring it up.

02:39:40.000 Contact tracing dye into children.

02:39:44.000 So you can bring it up as an overlay because people can see it.

02:39:46.000 It looks I mean, look at that.

02:39:48.000 It looks like a chip.

02:39:49.000 If it functions like a chip, really, it doesn't matter if you're saying a chip or not.

02:39:51.000 It spikes going into the skin.

02:39:53.000 It's on the research stock here.

02:39:54.000 You see this?

02:39:56.000 Yeah, that looks like a chip.

02:39:57.000 And videos were removed for fact-checking, like, ah, you know, Bill Gates wants this, like, tracking chip.

02:40:02.000 Like, it's a contact.

02:40:03.000 Tell me that doesn't look like a chip!

02:40:06.000 For crying out loud.

02:40:07.000 Look at that!

02:40:09.000 We don't want chips.

02:40:11.000 No.

02:40:13.000 You know what?

02:40:14.000 Get the hell out of here. 0.85

02:40:15.000 We've had enough of you two. 0.98

02:40:16.000 Get the hell out of here. 0.51

02:40:20.000 We don't want your dress! 1.00

02:40:21.000 What is he wearing?

02:40:22.000 Aqua socks?

02:40:23.000 Come here real quick.

02:40:24.000 Are those Toms?

02:40:25.000 Come here, come here, hold on a second.

02:40:26.000 Come here, hold on.

02:40:27.000 Come here real quick.

02:40:28.000 Come here real quick.

02:40:29.000 Are those Toms?

02:40:30.000 Just so I can give you a foot. 0.99

02:40:31.000 But they don't show when he wears his Vans.

02:40:32.000 She wears her- Look at this.

02:40:34.000 Malouf and Gates apparently was going to a beach.

02:40:35.000 And it was in the Pacific Northwest because it was going to be rocky.

02:40:39.000 And then you're wearing your Steven Spielberg autistic New Balance shoes. 0.65

02:40:43.000 Seriously.

02:40:44.000 Get the hell out if only for the shoe wear.

02:40:46.000 Oh my gosh.

02:40:47.000 If only for the shoe wear.

02:40:47.000 Don't be back.

02:40:52.000 So, this is, I want to make sure that I have this right.

02:40:55.000 Hey, actually, can we bring up Reg the Research Bandit?

02:40:57.000 Can you give me a quick recap of, uh, I remember contact tracing dye, and it looking very much like a chip, and it was specifically to provide information, this is what I remember, specifically providing information so that people could know which children had been vaccinated, and, you know, could star in the next episode of Black Mirror.

02:41:15.000 Reg, do I have that about correct?

02:41:20.000 Yeah, it's essentially an under the skin tattoo.

02:41:26.000 And it seems to make sense insofar as that you think, well, then you don't need to carry around your vaccination records everywhere with you.

02:41:33.000 But then the problem is, that you have this global system of control and tracking

02:41:38.000 people.

02:41:39.000 Yeah, well...

02:41:40.000 It's a small price to pay for not having to carry papers.

02:41:43.000 You know, because you couldn't just take a picture of them and keep them in your phone.

02:41:47.000 Right.

02:41:48.000 You have any ways.

02:41:49.000 Next time you go on the Mr. Toad ride in Disney World, it sounds like,

02:41:52.000 It's a small world, aaaah!

02:41:55.000 Wow.

02:41:57.000 Not sure why.

02:41:58.000 Well, that's what they sing at the Mr. Toad ride.

02:42:00.000 I don't know why.

02:42:01.000 It's been imprinted in my brain like a microchip because I remember waiting in that line for three hours and the ride sucked.

02:42:07.000 Fact check that, Reg!

02:42:10.000 It was two hours.

02:42:11.000 You get angry at Reg for no reason.

02:42:12.000 Alright, let's go back to Bill Gates and see what else he has to say.

02:42:14.000 We do have a lot of giveaways.

02:42:16.000 Any time.

02:42:16.000 Can we do a giveaway?

02:42:17.000 Well, let's do it after the next commercial break.

02:42:19.000 Alright, we're doing the commercial break here.

02:42:21.000 It would be brought to bear and they'd have very clear advice on things like testing prioritization.

02:42:27.000 So that is a deep set of skills where they're getting input from all the states, but in the entire world, that's the best group of people.

02:42:38.000 There's an opportunity here for them to help with testing prioritization, and I hope they'll seize it.

02:42:45.000 I agree with Sanjay right now.

02:42:47.000 I'm also confused as to what the hell he's saying.

02:42:51.000 You don't want to look too much in the rearview mirror in terms of what went right or what went wrong there.

02:42:56.000 We should be listening to doctors like Bill Gates.

02:42:58.000 Yes, exactly!

02:42:59.000 Well no, Bill Gates is safe because everything he says goes along with the World Health Organization.

02:43:04.000 Including Taiwan what?

02:43:07.000 And it cannot be transmitted through human-to-human contact.

02:43:10.000 Here's the thing, do you know how...

02:43:13.000 Do you know what my qualifications are, personally, in dispensing medical advice?

02:43:18.000 About the same as Bill Gates.

02:43:21.000 They're almost exactly comparable.

02:43:25.000 So neither are qualified.

02:43:26.000 Except if you're not responsible for Vista.

02:43:28.000 Or Microsoft Paint.

02:43:31.000 Or the Zune.

02:43:34.000 You didn't have all the PCR machines activated to do those tests.

02:43:40.000 So, you know, some places listened to what was being said in January and did those things and some did not.

02:43:50.000 Wait, hold on a second.

02:43:56.000 Some places listened to them in January.

02:43:59.000 He's talking about the World Health Organization.

02:44:01.000 This matters, this is what matters the most about this.

02:44:04.000 The left, because they have an echo chamber here, right, and they don't, have you seen, by the way, has anyone seen them provide any sources at all?

02:44:10.000 By the way, Sanjay Gupta jogging in short pants doesn't count, okay? 0.99

02:44:14.000 They haven't shown any sources whatsoever, and just now, they're completely unaccountable, so they never get called on their shit. 0.98

02:44:21.000 They never have to correct it. 0.97

02:44:22.000 And Bill Gates right now just said, we could have been following the advice in January.

02:44:26.000 In January, the World Health Organization, to whom you are the second largest donor outside of the United States as a whole, and the same World Health Organization, Bill Gates, whom you said were the best at handling these kinds of crises throughout the history of mankind, told the world through Twitter that it couldn't be transmitted from human to human contact!

02:44:46.000 So if we were to follow their advice, Bill, what would we have done, Mr. Gates?

02:44:52.000 They also didn't like travel bans either.

02:44:54.000 They thought that that could lead to racism and other problems.

02:44:57.000 Yeah.

02:44:57.000 It would not be effective.

02:44:58.000 Yeah.

02:44:58.000 Yeah, exactly.

02:44:59.000 Permatattoo.

02:45:01.000 Chip.

02:45:02.000 By the way, it's a chip.

02:45:03.000 Never mind.

02:45:04.000 I was going to say.

02:45:04.000 It's not a chip.

02:45:05.000 It's happenstance that the QR code has the numbers six three times in it in a row.

02:45:11.000 Oh, wow.

02:45:12.000 Coincidence.

02:45:12.000 Also, we prefer that you put it on your forehead if possible.

02:45:15.000 But sure, sure, we leave the choice to you.

02:45:16.000 Or your hand.

02:45:17.000 Either way.

02:45:17.000 Or your hand.

02:45:17.000 We leave the choice to you.

02:45:18.000 To activate it, you have to bow down and pray.

02:45:19.000 Oh, look!

02:45:20.000 For Hersey!

02:45:21.000 Look!

02:45:23.000 Do you hear those horns?

02:45:24.000 You'll figure out different ways of applying those things.

02:45:29.000 So I think every month, the therapy story Uh, they'll have some good news.

02:45:33.000 There's a lot of trials out in various countries.

02:45:35.000 The list of things being tried is very long.

02:45:38.000 Uh, the one I'd have to say I'm the most optimistic about is taking antibodies and manufacturing those, you know, finding the best antibody that a human has made.

02:45:48.000 Did you notice that Bill Gates speaks exactly like Trump, but because he's a nerd, he'll give him more respect?

02:45:55.000 There are a lot of things.

02:45:56.000 Let me just say exactly what he just said about Donald Trump.

02:45:58.000 There are a lot of things that we could do, and we're looking into more things.

02:46:04.000 The one that's most promising is the antibodies, and we're looking at the best antibodies.

02:46:11.000 Just because he has glasses and hasn't been laid in half a century, we're supposed to respect his opinion more.

02:46:16.000 Melinda is a saint.

02:46:18.000 How dare you.

02:46:18.000 to that. Melinda is a saint. How dare you. Or a beard.

02:46:24.000 Bill, just stay with us. We're going to take a There has been no fucking reporting! 0.99

02:46:29.000 about the latest uh... reporting hope of that they will continue to have a look at it 0.79

02:46:36.000 he's coming up for a while does that feel better about the uh... therefore

02:46:52.000 We also have a game we can play.

02:46:54.000 I don't want to play the game tonight.

02:46:57.000 They say, my therapist said, that when you're really mad, to make sure that you don't take it out on anybody, find an isolated place and scream into the void.

02:47:09.000 CNN works just as good.

02:47:10.000 Yeah.

02:47:10.000 It is the abyss.

02:47:11.000 Live to many, many tens of thousands of people.

02:47:14.000 That's not an isolated place.

02:47:15.000 The only people who might be affected are people in the Atlanta airport on layover.

02:47:19.000 That's true.

02:47:20.000 And I hate them.

02:47:21.000 All right, what's the next giveaway here?

02:47:23.000 What do we have?

02:47:24.000 We're gonna have to double up some of these.

02:47:26.000 Yeah, we're gonna have to do two giveaways really quickly.

02:47:28.000 We're giving away the Optimus Prime.

02:47:29.000 Give away the Optimus Prime.

02:47:32.000 Did I win that one?

02:47:36.000 No.

02:47:37.000 Oh, yeah.

02:47:38.000 There it is.

02:47:39.000 There's the Optimus Prime.

02:47:40.000 The Target employee.

02:47:41.000 The Target employee.

02:47:42.000 Hold on a second.

02:47:43.000 We'll do, because we have clips for all these giveaways, right?

02:47:46.000 So here's what we can do.

02:47:47.000 Can you layer them up so I can do three giveaways and then we can just run those sketches?

02:47:51.000 Does that work?

02:47:52.000 Yes.

02:47:52.000 Okay, don't worry.

02:47:53.000 Garrett can work on that.

02:47:54.000 Let me know when you're ready to do that.

02:47:55.000 So this Optimus Prime, right, is actually from our Can you say it?

02:48:03.000 Can I say the word?

02:48:06.000 My Little Transgender Individual.

02:48:07.000 My Little Transgender Individual Formers.

02:48:11.000 And then we are also giving away, this will be signed by me.

02:48:14.000 This will be actually not signed by me, but it'll be signed in Mandarin.

02:48:20.000 Cantonese. 0.99

02:48:20.000 Damn it. 0.99

02:48:22.000 I always forget about the economics. 0.99

02:48:24.000 You will also be drawing something on it.

02:48:26.000 Oh, it's true. 1.00

02:48:27.000 Penis. 0.98

02:48:28.000 So we're giving away the Optimus Prime, Bill's gavel, half-Asian Bill's gavel, and we are also going to be giving away, I believe we have this coming up here, is the Operation game that was the Bernie Sanders edition. 0.97

02:48:42.000 For people who don't remember it, that is terrifying.

02:48:45.000 I don't even know who that is.

02:48:46.000 Batman?

02:48:46.000 Is that person on the payroll?

02:48:48.000 I think it's Tim from Asia.

02:48:51.000 Okay, now I know.

02:48:52.000 Pretty sure that's Wuhan Batman.

02:48:55.000 Ah, the bad, I got it.

02:48:57.000 Quick, Robin, do you have antibodies in that utility belt?

02:49:01.000 No, just AIDS.

02:49:04.000 Fresh out.

02:49:07.000 Fresh out, but I have the shark repellent. 1.00

02:49:09.000 Why are you such a fag, Robin? 1.00

02:49:12.000 It's totally useless. 1.00

02:49:13.000 Holy homophobia! 0.99

02:49:14.000 Holy homophobia, Batman!

02:49:16.000 That's right.

02:49:16.000 Correct.

02:49:18.000 Don't you forget it.

02:49:19.000 Look at the hair, it's so realistic.

02:49:21.000 Yeah, so that's the Bernie Operation.

02:49:23.000 And then we also have one more we are going to be giving away.

02:49:25.000 So we have this Optimus Prime, this gavel, this Bernie Sanders Operation game, which by the way, little known story about this Bernie Sanders Operation game.

02:49:33.000 One day we'll have the outtakes.

02:49:34.000 This was right after Bernie Sanders had the actual operation on his heart.

02:49:38.000 Yes, that's right!

02:49:39.000 Do you remember this, Audrey?

02:49:40.000 That's right!

02:49:41.000 Okay, AudioLed, you tell the story.

02:49:42.000 He says you remember it.

02:49:43.000 We were in there.

02:49:44.000 You'll see this in the commercial in just about 30 seconds.

02:49:46.000 We were in there where I was Bernie on the operating table.

02:49:50.000 What happened?

02:49:51.000 Yeah, so it was, I think, two days after he had the heart attack, and I think you were laying on there thinking, and I think you said out loud, have we thought through this?

02:50:02.000 I said, is this too soon?

02:50:04.000 I'm going to just go on the record, for my own credibility, they did not call me.

02:50:08.000 They did not call you.

02:50:09.000 Not at all, no.

02:50:11.000 And then finally, the other giveaway.

02:50:12.000 So we can pair these up, because we have so many.

02:50:14.000 The final giveaway here for this break.

02:50:16.000 Look, they're back from the town hall.

02:50:17.000 Gosh, I have to pee.

02:50:18.000 Bringing it is the Rock'Em Sock'Em Rabbis. 1.00

02:50:21.000 That was a commercial that you guys were big fans of.

02:50:24.000 The Rock'Em Sock'Em.

02:50:24.000 Is there someone?

02:50:25.000 Bill Gates can make a Windows program, but he can't bring me a frickin' board game?

02:50:30.000 Oh, we have another.

02:50:32.000 Yeah, my cousin.

02:50:35.000 You might need to go to the long shot.

02:50:37.000 There we go.

02:50:38.000 Wow.

02:50:38.000 And that's our that's our new intern.

02:50:40.000 So hope you didn't send out any other applications.

02:50:43.000 Yeah.

02:50:45.000 She did the Asian laugh, too! 0.99

02:50:47.000 I told you!

02:50:49.000 Oh, that ain't funny!

02:50:52.000 Yeah, well, they're not going to be hiring you at the Clinique.

02:50:56.000 We have a whole Asian now.

02:50:57.000 I've ruined so many lives.

02:50:59.000 Oh, man.

02:51:00.000 OK, so we have the Transformer.

02:51:01.000 We have Bill's Gavel.

02:51:02.000 We have the Operation Game, Bernie Edition.

02:51:04.000 Rock'em Sock'em Rabbis. 1.00

02:51:05.000 Do we have it all teed up as a commercial?

02:51:07.000 We have it all teed up.

02:51:08.000 So for those of you who missed it, these were the commercials.

02:51:10.000 Some of the best stuff from Loud Earth Crowded.

02:51:11.000 We'll be giving all of these away, and we'll announce the winners after this break.

02:51:15.000 My little train, my little train.

02:51:18.000 My little train, my little train.

02:51:24.000 Don't worry, my little train.

02:51:27.000 Here, you can use whatever restroom you like. 0.73

02:51:31.000 Thanks, Optimus Prime!

02:51:36.000 My Little Tr**ny. 0.78

02:51:38.000 Available exclusively at Target.

02:51:41.000 Chino.

02:51:43.000 Cortita.

02:51:45.000 Como un bebe.

02:51:47.000 Viva el mente de reyes sus creantes.

02:51:50.000 Te rompen la mitad.

02:51:53.000 Doctor!

02:52:06.000 I've got campaign finance pain!

02:52:10.000 You've got larceny in your heart!

02:52:11.000 Your arteries are clogged! 0.60

02:52:13.000 OPERATION!

02:52:14.000 You should've taken drugs!

02:52:16.000 OPERATION!

02:52:17.000 Your back is off the charts!

02:52:19.000 You need a baboon heart! 1.00

02:52:22.000 Operation, remove the pieces and collect your fee.

02:52:26.000 But don't touch the aortic valve!

02:52:32.000 Operation by Bernie Sanders.

02:52:34.000 Rockin' Sockin' Rabbis! 1.00

02:52:52.000 Oh boy!

02:52:53.000 Rock'em Sock'em Rabbis! 1.00

02:52:55.000 Boom! 0.99

02:52:57.000 Right in the kipper!

02:52:58.000 Press the buttons!

02:52:59.000 Move the joystick thingies!

02:53:00.000 Knock his kipper to the floor!

02:53:02.000 Right in the boonum! 0.87

02:53:03.000 You're the winner!

02:53:07.000 He's just like me!

02:53:09.000 Best two out of three?

02:53:10.000 Dad, you're my best friend.

02:53:12.000 Rock'em Sock'em Rabbis! 1.00

02:53:14.000 By Milton Bradston.

02:53:17.000 So, uh, it was funny about the time when I had to go and jump into the pool to film the hippo scene.

02:53:26.000 How was it there?

02:53:27.000 How was it?

02:53:27.000 You know, so a couple funny points out of that.

02:53:30.000 One, you know, there are certain, you know, have you ever heard the story where, like, if you throw a frog in a hot water, he's gonna, like, jump out, but if you just, like, Turn the heat up.

02:53:41.000 I look back at three or four years ago.

02:53:43.000 What is every review about boiling live animals?

02:53:47.000 It's just culture.

02:53:48.000 You gotta talk about what you know, right?

02:53:50.000 And I remember all the things that I wouldn't do on this show, and that I was asked to do, and then of all the things that my wife was like, really?

02:53:59.000 You stood in for a hippo?

02:54:01.000 That was the thing!

02:54:03.000 That was the thing!

02:54:04.000 She was like, whatever, and I was like, But I look good.

02:54:07.000 I wore my suit.

02:54:08.000 You look good.

02:54:10.000 Yeah.

02:54:11.000 I did a good hippo.

02:54:13.000 I threw the suit away.

02:54:14.000 I didn't worry about it.

02:54:15.000 But this is the actual gavel.

02:54:16.000 It was in the pool.

02:54:17.000 Alright.

02:54:18.000 Read the winner to the giveaway.

02:54:19.000 Let's go.

02:54:20.000 Our first winner.

02:54:22.000 Tony H. and a Texas.

02:54:25.000 Optimist Prime.

02:54:26.000 Optimist Prime.

02:54:26.000 Going straight to you.

02:54:27.000 Next one.

02:54:29.000 Evan T. Fort Worth, Texas.

02:54:31.000 Nice.

02:54:31.000 The gavel.

02:54:35.000 Mark Y. Is that Marky or Mark Y?

02:54:38.000 Mark Y Battleground.

02:54:41.000 Indiana.

02:54:41.000 It's on the screen!

02:54:43.000 What do you mean you're trying to late-dox him?

02:54:47.000 How funny would it be if Corinne's last name was like Muskowitz?

02:54:51.000 Actually, that would be perfect.

02:54:55.000 I think it would be.

02:54:57.000 That's everybody.

02:54:57.000 That's everybody so far.

02:54:59.000 By the way, the promo code is QUARANTINE.

02:55:01.000 You get $30 off.

02:55:02.000 It expires tonight.

02:55:03.000 This is the end of Mug Club Quarantine Month.

02:55:06.000 And you can let us know what you want more of after this month.

02:55:10.000 We'll be taking one week off.

02:55:11.000 One week.

02:55:12.000 We're not actually all gonna be gone for a week.

02:55:14.000 We actually have some stuff to do behind the scenes to prepare for super videos going forward because a lot of these have been thrown for a loop.

02:55:19.000 And importantly, when we come back on May 11th, we'll be announcing the grand prize winner, who will be flying out here to be in studio, in the audience, in the show.

02:55:30.000 First time we've ever done it.

02:55:31.000 Amazing.

02:55:32.000 Incredible.

02:55:32.000 I can't tell you who it is, but we're pretty sure they'll have a lot of vowels in their last name.

02:55:36.000 Other than that, it seems like we're cleaning out the prop closet, and that's what the giveaway is.

02:55:41.000 Totally untrue.

02:55:41.000 Dude, don't say that.

02:55:42.000 It does seem like that is a component to this.

02:55:44.000 Is this the moment we get to fire Gerald?

02:55:46.000 Or...

02:55:47.000 I don't know.

02:55:48.000 He's the co-host equivalent of Tenured.

02:55:53.000 Since Gerald is the smartest person here, like most professors, but yet... You know there's people asking that, like, what dirt does Gerald have on Steven that he's still on the show? 0.98

02:56:06.000 Oh, I don't know how many times you've seen my penis. 0.98

02:56:08.000 Do you pronounce your name Gerald? 1.00

02:56:09.000 Do you mispronounce your own name?

02:56:12.000 I don't think you can.

02:56:13.000 Who's calling, however you pronounce it?

02:56:15.000 I don't know if there's a G-E-R-A-L-D. 1.00

02:56:16.000 We got a G-E-R-A-L-D in the Rosacea Challenge.

02:56:18.000 He's over here trying to catch up.

02:56:20.000 Well, first, let's actually fact check CNN for a little bit.

02:56:22.000 I'm sorry, they really haven't been giving us much.

02:56:24.000 It's just Bill Gates saying, we want the best antibodies.

02:56:27.000 Let's see what he's talking about right now as he sniffs farts.

02:56:30.000 Antibodies, finding some of these super antibodies and then essentially cloning them and turning them I like super antibodies.

02:56:37.000 I'm Bill Gates and I approve these farts.

02:56:40.000 The cameraman is like, seriously Bill, stop moving.

02:56:44.000 Yes, that's monoclonal antibodies and that's the factory that the Foundation Therapeutic Accelerator Group reserved.

02:56:54.000 Did he say Bilderbergs?

02:56:56.000 And he's laughing.

02:56:57.000 That was a good one.

02:57:00.000 It leaves an aftertaste on the palate. 0.99

02:57:05.000 Disgusting.

02:57:07.000 CNN just posted a question, how do we improve African nations response to COVID-19? 0.72

02:57:12.000 And the name of the person who posted it was Arian.

02:57:17.000 Yes.

02:57:18.000 Like, with a Y?

02:57:19.000 R-E-L. 0.99

02:57:20.000 They did A-R-Y-A-N. 1.00

02:57:22.000 Oh my gosh.

02:57:23.000 Well, you know they're going to run it again because they're not getting that many tweets.

02:57:26.000 Please.

02:57:27.000 No, but they're watching this so we're going to take it down, so good thing we're recording this.

02:57:31.000 You know what? 0.99

02:57:32.000 Nothing brings me more joy than knowing that Chris Cuomo is in the green room right now with his iPhone going, shit! 0.99

02:57:39.000 Who's on my account? 0.99

02:57:45.000 Someone timecode that.

02:57:46.000 Someone out there in the control room timecode that because I want to go back and find that tweet with Arian.

02:57:51.000 You sure?

02:57:52.000 I'm sure.

02:57:53.000 Oh yeah.

02:57:54.000 Well you're probably more sensitive to that thing.

02:57:56.000 Only my bottom half.

02:58:01.000 They've literally done this Frank Cologne question a thousand times.

02:58:05.000 And I get infected if I swim in the ocean.

02:58:08.000 Is COVID in water?

02:58:08.000 He live tweeted it to the World Health Organization.

02:58:10.000 He's just spamming everybody.

02:58:11.000 thousand times can I get infected if I swim in the ocean?

02:58:16.000 Is COVID in water?

02:58:20.000 He live-streamed it to the World Health Organization. He's just spamming everybody

02:58:26.000 because he wants to know if he can go to Cape Cod this summer.

02:58:30.000 I've already got tickets.

02:58:31.000 I now feel bad for calling out the Aryan thing. 1.00

02:58:34.000 Don't feel bad.

02:58:34.000 Yeah, because some intern's going to get fired.

02:58:39.000 They're going to go down, they're going to be like, interns, who did that?

02:58:42.000 And Chris Cuomo's going to raise his hand.

02:58:45.000 I was filling in.

02:58:45.000 Chris, why are you here again?

02:58:47.000 It's going to be Chris Cuomo's wife, because like, work your way up. 1.00

02:58:51.000 Start with a health blog, advocating crystals, then start screening the tweets for CNN, then hopefully I get a 12pm slot.

02:59:01.000 There's almost none of these constructs that don't have some problem.

02:59:04.000 But, you know, hey, we're here to solve problems.

02:59:06.000 PM is new. Everyone does that. Are you kidding? The Carson Daily Hour. Their manufacturing

02:59:10.000 challenge is also very large. There's almost none of these constructs that don't have some

02:59:16.000 problem. But you know, hey, we're here to solve problems.

02:59:20.000 This is the most important tool, the most urgent tool mankind has to invent. Yeah, I mean,

02:59:26.000 that's why we're spending so much time talking about vaccines. But once we get to that point,

02:59:30.000 there's seven billion roughly people.

02:59:32.000 By the way, assuming that we get a vaccine, and obviously I'm pro-vaccine for COVID, but that also, you're assuming that everyone is going to take it.

02:59:41.000 Or will want to take it.

02:59:42.000 Flu vaccines, every year that we have, there's this gigantic number of people that just don't do it, including myself for a long time.

02:59:48.000 What's the number of people who take flu vaccines per year?

02:59:50.000 Reg can probably find it.

02:59:51.000 I think it's under 20%.

02:59:52.000 I would bet it's really low.

02:59:54.000 I bet older people take it a lot.

02:59:56.000 People susceptible to stuff like that would do it, but everybody else is like, eh, whatever.

03:00:01.000 But why are they, again, moving the goalposts?

03:00:03.000 Now it's about the vaccine.

03:00:04.000 We can't do anything until the vaccine.

03:00:06.000 So here's the thing that we need to be clear about with Bill Gates.

03:00:08.000 You can bring this up as an overlay.

03:00:09.000 He thinks we should have a permanent lockdown of everything until we have the vaccine.

03:00:13.000 No.

03:00:13.000 Absolutely not.

03:00:14.000 Well, I know.

03:00:15.000 Don't argue with me.

03:00:16.000 I'm arguing with him.

03:00:17.000 They said it's going to come out in January.

03:00:18.000 $11 billion is like, you know, guys, don't worry.

03:00:21.000 Don't worry.

03:00:22.000 I'll be safe.

03:00:23.000 He's going to be sitting there with his harem. 0.77

03:00:24.000 We're all in this together, guys.

03:00:27.000 Everybody's out mad maxing it around.

03:00:29.000 By Aram, I mean Gerald's favorite, the cast of Cats.

03:00:35.000 Really what I mean is he's gonna have Idris Elba and the clones that he could afford to make.

03:00:39.000 Oh my gosh.

03:00:40.000 In a hot tub.

03:00:43.000 Someone just asked, will there ever be a home test kit for COVID-19? 1.00

03:00:46.000 Are they an idiot? 1.00

03:00:46.000 What's up with Mr. Mistoffelees from Cats? 1.00

03:00:49.000 I mean, oh man.

03:00:51.000 You know the names, I don't.

03:00:53.000 Someone just asked, will there ever be a home test kid for COVID-19? 1.00

03:00:56.000 Are they idiots? 1.00

03:00:59.000 There already is one. 1.00

03:00:59.000 There's already a home antibody test. 1.00

03:01:01.000 I think it's from Quest, if I'm not mistaken.

03:01:03.000 I think it's from Quest Labs.

03:01:05.000 I'm sure.

03:01:05.000 What was that that was just brought up?

03:01:06.000 I think that was the percentage of people that get the flu vaccine.

03:01:10.000 Oh, what was the number?

03:01:11.000 It hovers around 40%.

03:01:12.000 Looks like 40.

03:01:13.000 40?

03:01:13.000 Okay, that's higher than I thought.

03:01:15.000 I was wrong.

03:01:16.000 17, 18, which was the worst year, was 37%.

03:01:18.000 So a little bit of a dip.

03:01:19.000 I did like this question that just came up before, which was, can you get a flu test that's positive and have COVID-19?

03:01:26.000 I do think that's an interesting question.

03:01:29.000 Yeah, they won't answer it.

03:01:30.000 Because then again, the comorbidity... Honey, text me if you know the answer.

03:01:34.000 The comorbidity question is really important because if you're able to have the flu and COVID at the same time... Oh, that would suck. 0.56

03:01:41.000 I mean, yeah, it's gonna suck.

03:01:43.000 And would we be surprised if there was a higher incident of deaths for people who have the flu and COVID?

03:01:49.000 I wouldn't be surprised.

03:01:50.000 Hold on one second.

03:01:50.000 Okay, right now, what was the last question I asked Reg to research?

03:01:54.000 I think it was the number of people, percentage, that get the flu shot.

03:01:57.000 No, no, I asked him.

03:01:58.000 Oh, okay.

03:01:58.000 Oh, there's one more?

03:01:59.000 That Aryan thing? 1.00

03:02:00.000 No, it wasn't the Aryan thing.

03:02:01.000 Quest Diagnostics.

03:02:02.000 Quest Diagnostics!

03:02:03.000 Yeah, that's right.

03:02:04.000 I think it's Quest Diagnostics who came up with a home antibody test.

03:02:09.000 Because I think it's pathology...

03:02:09.000 We're already drunk.

03:02:11.000 There you go.

03:02:12.000 Antibody test.

03:02:13.000 So that's an antibody test, not just a COVID test.

03:02:15.000 But that tells you if you've ever actually had the disease.

03:02:17.000 And then I think it's, if I'm not mistaken, pathology laboratories.

03:02:20.000 I'm not entirely sure.

03:02:22.000 Maybe it's LabCorp.

03:02:23.000 They have, you know, quick testing stations set up in Walgreens.

03:02:27.000 In a lot of Walgreens. 0.99

03:02:27.000 So these are dumb questions. 0.99

03:02:29.000 Now here's the challenge, though, right now. 0.99

03:02:30.000 And I know all of us are not paying attention.

03:02:32.000 We're all trying to see that Aryan question circulate.

03:02:34.000 That's the only thing we're looking for now.

03:02:34.000 We are.

03:02:37.000 So here is the challenge.

03:02:39.000 For, I don't know if we can set a timer, for two minutes we are not to talk.

03:02:44.000 We are just to listen to CNN.

03:02:46.000 The promo code is quarantine because earn this.

03:02:51.000 For two minutes we will watch After which, we'll see if there's anything to actually verify, confirm is correct, or fact check.

03:02:59.000 But for two minutes... Alright.

03:03:01.000 Hold on, I have one question.

03:03:02.000 Can I stand up and shake my fist at the screen if I get really pissed?

03:03:02.000 What?

03:03:07.000 You absolutely can.

03:03:08.000 Okay, great.

03:03:08.000 As a matter of fact, I'd be disappointed if you didn't because it would look like an angry small child.

03:03:14.000 And that's good.

03:03:15.000 It is.

03:03:15.000 It's funny.

03:03:16.000 It's funny, because it's an angry small child, but it's the first, like, angry small child I can hit legally.

03:03:21.000 I wouldn't, but I know that if I really needed to, you could.

03:03:23.000 No, no, I added that in the contract.

03:03:25.000 Nice! 0.94

03:03:25.000 You're allowed to. 0.94

03:03:26.000 Wow!

03:03:26.000 That's fantastic.

03:03:28.000 Too bad Bill Gates didn't cosign.

03:03:28.000 Nice man.

03:03:30.000 Two minutes, everybody!

03:03:31.000 Two minutes, and all of you at home can write down your notes, so we can hopefully all... Let's everyone here write down your notes, and then we can see if we all have the same thing we want to fact check.

03:03:39.000 Ooh, a game!

03:03:40.000 Two minutes.

03:03:41.000 Start now.

03:03:42.000 And so, you know, Germany, for example, has done things well, but they did have the benefit that they saw Italy being overwhelmed and their exposure came after Italy, so they were able to respond.

03:03:53.000 But now the exposure in Sweden and Germany were about at the same time.

03:03:58.000 If you look at the IHME, which is a group that we fund, if you look at their forecast, you had Chris Murray on earlier, You look at the death rate in Sweden versus Germany that they forecast, it's way higher up in Sweden.

03:04:19.000 You know, somebody can decide, a politician, if that's what really happens, was it worth it?

03:04:25.000 You know, that's what this is all about, is if you open ActivityX, you know, are you willing to accept a somewhat higher health burden because of that?

03:04:36.000 Sweden, you know, they made their decision, they seem happy with their decision, but they are forecast to have substantially higher death rate than most other countries.

03:04:49.000 One of the things in your paper that I thought was really particularly interesting were all the things that we need to learn about the virus, like if it is weather dependent, how many people never get symptoms but are contagious, what symptoms mean, you should get tested.

03:05:01.000 I mean, there's so much we still don't know about this.

03:05:06.000 Yeah, there are many countries Uh, where the epidemic is not nearly as intense, uh, as we would expect.

03:05:15.000 And so is it just a delayed effect?

03:05:17.000 Is there something about the vaccines they get in their youth?

03:05:21.000 You know, people think this BCG vaccine might, you know, be a helpful thing.

03:05:25.000 We don't know.

03:05:26.000 And so we have to assume it's going to be as bad in all those countries.

03:05:33.000 Uh, you know, in the Southern hemisphere, you have Brazil, Australia, South Africa have cases, so they're not completely immune, even though the force of infection may be less.

03:05:45.000 You famously talked about preparing for a pandemic.

03:05:48.000 That's two minutes!

03:05:49.000 Okay, hold on a second!

03:05:52.000 Reg, the research bandit, please bring up Sweden and the fact that they failed to protect and acknowledge their infirm and their older people with their nursing homes.

03:06:00.000 They had a similar situation to New York.

03:06:02.000 And if you look at Sweden, Sweden is actually middle of the pack compared to Europe.

03:06:04.000 He specifically took Germany and Sweden because he tried to take a country that had very severe measures and also took an early stance.

03:06:11.000 And frankly, they have different demographics comparing it directly to Sweden, which is directly middle of the pack.

03:06:15.000 You know what would be an accurate comparison as well would be Sweden versus Belgium, Sweden versus France.

03:06:19.000 Sweden vs. UK.

03:06:20.000 Sweden vs. Spain. 0.98

03:06:21.000 I don't know why he only picked Germany, because it's the one country, I guess, in Western civilization that is actually doing significantly better than the United States, and that's because of a very homogenous culture, an authoritarian government who's very comfortable with removing people's private rights, and they suck. 0.98

03:06:21.000 Italy. 0.98

03:06:36.000 Here's the thing.

03:06:37.000 Germany, good on you.

03:06:38.000 You got coronavirus right.

03:06:40.000 But when it comes to world wars, you're responsible for, still, all of them, if we're keeping a tally.

03:06:46.000 So, it's a trade-off.

03:06:48.000 I mean, please bring up Sweden.

03:06:50.000 You're gonna hold that against them still?

03:06:52.000 If someone thinks that I'm making it up in regards to Sweden, just bring up the deaths per million and look at Sweden.

03:06:58.000 They didn't take any measures at all, which we are not even advocating, and they're...

03:07:03.000 Far better off than some countries who took very strict measures.

03:07:07.000 Not saying they're the best, not saying they're the worst.

03:07:09.000 But that's actually the strongest counter-argument to what Bill Gates is saying, because if Sweden were definitively the best, then we would know, and we'd be basing it off that data.

03:07:17.000 If they were definitively the worst, he would have the best case here that he could make.

03:07:20.000 Instead, it's like Starsky and Hutch, where they were trying to find out if a guy was named big because he was small, ironic, and he's 5'10", which is just about average.

03:07:31.000 That's Sweden.

03:07:32.000 It's right in the middle.

03:07:33.000 It's not an argument for either side.

03:07:36.000 Wow.

03:07:37.000 Like Ohio!

03:07:37.000 That's a terrible argument.

03:07:38.000 Well, nobody cares about Ohio.

03:07:40.000 By the way, my wife has texted me and she said, yes, you can get both the flu, like seasonal flu and COVID-19.

03:07:46.000 At the same time.

03:07:47.000 Right.

03:07:48.000 How much you want to bet if you die?

03:07:51.000 Yeah.

03:07:51.000 Which one's gonna be on the list?

03:07:52.000 Which one's gonna be on the list.

03:07:54.000 Yeah. 0.99

03:07:54.000 Well, she did put a stethoscope on your ass, and so I'm not sure if we should take it. 0.99

03:07:58.000 I hate to tell you this. 0.99

03:07:59.000 It's gospel. 1.00

03:08:00.000 I think your wife may be retarded. 1.00

03:08:02.000 She's not! 1.00

03:08:03.000 You take it back!

03:08:04.000 How dare you?

03:08:05.000 Good lord!

03:08:07.000 Actually, she's not.

03:08:07.000 I told her to.

03:08:08.000 Honestly, if you're gonna check for a pulse, there's probably a... There's no better place!

03:08:11.000 There's a lot of blood flow required to keep this tissue alive! 0.97

03:08:14.000 That's true.

03:08:15.000 There's a large, large amount.

03:08:17.000 Pathways...

03:08:20.000 Look at it!

03:08:20.000 Hey, Kim Kardashian, sit down.

03:08:23.000 I don't feel like it.

03:08:25.000 Where's that lighter?

03:08:28.000 So you know, when you open this, the butane starts coming out.

03:08:33.000 Okay, let's go back to Bill Gates.

03:08:35.000 We do have that graph.

03:08:36.000 It has Belgium, UK, Italy, and Sweden all highlighted.

03:08:41.000 I am still amazed that Sweden is lower than the UK.

03:08:44.000 Yeah.

03:08:46.000 Totally open.

03:08:46.000 Never shut down.

03:08:49.000 By the way, Promo Code Warranty.

03:08:51.000 They removed Arian. 0.97

03:08:52.000 They did.

03:08:53.000 The one right after it was J. Warren.

03:08:58.000 Can you rewind people who are watching the live stream?

03:09:00.000 We have the tweet.

03:09:05.000 Oh! 0.60

03:09:06.000 Oh! 1.00

03:09:07.000 Holy shit! 1.00

03:09:08.000 We got it! 0.98

03:09:09.000 Can someone put Reg, Reg, Reg the Research Bandit, please bring up all of the air, what

03:09:14.000 Arian, Tilda, search his tweets.

03:09:16.000 Please bring up all of their tweets.

03:09:18.000 Are they black? 0.97

03:09:19.000 I wanna see if CNN just got trolled by a white supremacist. 0.98

03:09:23.000 Which by the way, I always suspected Sanjay Gupta of being in bed with, and that means, that's saying a lot because I ended a phrase with a...

03:09:34.000 He's had a lot of drinks.

03:09:35.000 Did you just say you ended a sentence with a parallelogram?

03:09:38.000 Hey, that's the guy right there.

03:09:40.000 I don't understand the reference.

03:09:42.000 Put it up again.

03:09:42.000 Twitter picture, put it up.

03:09:43.000 I've never seen a greater white wolf than the one on that show.

03:09:45.000 Alright, so these... okay, maybe not.

03:09:47.000 I've never seen a greater white wolf than the one on that shirt.

03:09:49.000 But I'm just saying, why pick that name?

03:09:51.000 Hey, maybe it's ironic.

03:09:53.000 Is there any person that black in the world named Arian?

03:09:58.000 Not on purpose.

03:10:00.000 Did his mother pick his name off a hate crime watch list? 0.81

03:10:06.000 It was to appease the angry white people.

03:10:10.000 I feel like this is one of my mom jokes with my aunts, and they're like, skinny Billy. 0.99

03:10:14.000 And I'm like, damn it, mom. 0.98

03:10:17.000 That stings. 0.99

03:10:20.000 She said it's per CDC.

03:10:22.000 Now, you know, we can trust them.

03:10:24.000 We can trust her.

03:10:24.000 Yes, exactly.

03:10:25.000 It wasn't just her opinion.

03:10:26.000 Oh, only nine minutes until Chris Cuomo.

03:10:29.000 What you've all been waiting for.

03:10:29.000 Oh boy.

03:10:31.000 The secrets of the Aryan Brotherhood.

03:10:35.000 I am excited about seeing him.

03:10:37.000 Dr. Cuomo? 0.99

03:10:38.000 Yeah, because everything he says is ridiculous. 1.00

03:10:40.000 He makes these facial expressions that just make you want to punch a guy. 0.99

03:10:45.000 It's exciting.

03:10:46.000 Yeah, and he's much more entertaining than Anderson Cooper.

03:10:49.000 This has been one of the most boring shows I've ever seen.

03:10:52.000 He was better on the mole.

03:10:54.000 He wasn't better in anything.

03:10:55.000 He has Bill Gates and Dr. Sanjay Gupta up there.

03:10:57.000 That's the problem with Gerald A. He can't give credit where it's due.

03:11:01.000 I can't.

03:11:01.000 He won't even give it up for Gerald B.' 's

03:11:05.000 He still won't eat it.

03:11:05.000 Lamprey.

03:11:07.000 What an amazing!

03:11:08.000 And you lose all credibility. 0.99

03:11:09.000 That little prick. 0.99

03:11:11.000 Put him in this chair. 0.99

03:11:12.000 I'm telling you. 1.00

03:11:13.000 With his dumb mouth open thing. 1.00

03:11:14.000 No, no. 1.00

03:11:15.000 If Gerald B wins an Oscar, you're going to have to eat a crow.

03:11:17.000 You're going to eat some serious crow.

03:11:18.000 Because I will eat a lot of crow.

03:11:20.000 Where's that giveaway?

03:11:21.000 What's that number on the menu?

03:11:23.000 Oh, number 7.

03:11:24.000 Humble pie.

03:11:25.000 No.

03:11:26.000 Not gonna do it.

03:11:27.000 I'm gonna work on my pose.

03:11:28.000 You know what?

03:11:29.000 It's okay.

03:11:29.000 Guess what?

03:11:30.000 You don't need to.

03:11:31.000 I ordered it for you at Humble Pie Shack.

03:11:33.000 I can do it too!

03:11:34.000 I just did it!

03:11:35.000 They do to-go and pick up right now.

03:11:36.000 Everyone's doing to-go and pick up.

03:11:38.000 I'm gonna go pick you up four Humble Pies.

03:11:41.000 And then you know what else?

03:11:42.000 I'm gonna inject them into you.

03:11:43.000 Anybody's not required.

03:11:44.000 Inject them?

03:11:45.000 Yeah, because I want to make sure that Humble Pie is running through your veins for the rest of all time.

03:11:49.000 And I want you to remember this.

03:11:51.000 Hey, look at me.

03:11:52.000 For all your days.

03:11:55.000 Forever.

03:11:56.000 So do we have any chats?

03:11:58.000 Do we have any chats?

03:12:00.000 So Steven stole my soul, let's go to chats!

03:12:04.000 We'll take a look.

03:12:05.000 Did we find anything from Aryan guy? 1.00

03:12:07.000 Well, Aryan only has three tweets. 1.00

03:12:09.000 Okay, Reg, the research bandit.

03:12:10.000 That's how you know he's a real account.

03:12:11.000 Yeah, and two of them are hashtag CNN town hall.

03:12:15.000 Okay, so let me see, what was the other two tweets?

03:12:18.000 So, how do we improve African countries response and then how do we convince our government to take much strict ways to beat the coronavirus.

03:12:26.000 Okay, but there's one more down there.

03:12:27.000 And the other one is a response to an NBA video that just says, breathe out of nose.

03:12:34.000 Anger-breathing, anger-breathing.

03:12:36.000 It doesn't say anything, actually.

03:12:37.000 Yeah, that's true.

03:12:38.000 It's just an emoji.

03:12:39.000 It's emotion.

03:12:40.000 Hey, if anyone thought it was, you know, confirmed that they thought it was a concern, it was the fact that it came back around and they took them off.

03:12:47.000 Yeah, exactly.

03:12:48.000 Someone at CNN is watching this.

03:12:51.000 Okay, here's one thing.

03:12:54.000 It's a loop.

03:12:55.000 Oh gosh.

03:12:55.000 He just comes back from break and he's looking at the monitor gaily.

03:13:01.000 And now there's nothing wrong with that.

03:13:02.000 Only he tries to cover it up.

03:13:03.000 There's always this internal struggle with Anderson Cooper because he's out of the closet, but he tries to cover it up.

03:13:08.000 Unless Captain Griffin's on or something and he just can't contain himself.

03:13:11.000 But he comes back from the break and he's sitting there and he's like...

03:13:19.000 And it's like, come on!

03:13:21.000 Just let your freak flag fly, man!

03:13:22.000 Are you talking about Gerald? 0.75

03:13:24.000 No, this man is straight.

03:13:26.000 Oh, I'm not saying you're straight.

03:13:27.000 I'm his accountability partner.

03:13:28.000 I'm just saying they do the same thing.

03:13:31.000 By the way, your software still sends the monthly report to me.

03:13:35.000 Weird stuff.

03:13:35.000 So here's the thing.

03:13:38.000 Let's look at the process.

03:13:40.000 CNN, this is how you know CNN is watching us right now.

03:13:43.000 Because CNN chose that tweet.

03:13:46.000 It's not an automated software.

03:13:48.000 They chose that tweet.

03:13:49.000 It made it through their screeners.

03:13:51.000 It made it into the rotation of 9 to 12 tweets because that's about all they have.

03:13:56.000 And only when we brought up that it seemed like a troll because it was a black man named Aryan asking about Africa, only after all of those fail safes failed, but we caught it, did they remove it from the rotating door of tweets.

03:14:11.000 I'm sending them an invoice.

03:14:13.000 You should.

03:14:14.000 You just saved them a lawsuit.

03:14:15.000 In case you had to wonder why media is dead, you can't trust people who run a white supremacist tweet.

03:14:22.000 You shouldn't!

03:14:23.000 Look at him! 0.97

03:14:23.000 That's the white supremacist I ever saw one! 0.97

03:14:25.000 Hey guys, you know what?

03:14:26.000 This is the real news here.

03:14:27.000 Is he talking about his baby?

03:14:28.000 Is he?

03:14:44.000 What am I trying to figure out?

03:14:47.000 Are these kidnapping photos?

03:14:48.000 Okay, hold on a second.

03:14:49.000 We're here to fact check CNN.

03:14:51.000 Don't come back without a baby, HR.

03:14:51.000 Just so you know, the reason why we're not right now is because Anderson... Okay, here.

03:14:56.000 Fact check.

03:14:57.000 There are no butt babies. 1.00

03:15:01.000 Fact-checked.

03:15:02.000 False.

03:15:02.000 He photoshopped it.

03:15:04.000 There are no but babies.

03:15:06.000 The technical term.

03:15:07.000 Scientific term.

03:15:08.000 Babies cannot be transmitted.

03:15:10.000 Did you text your wife on that one?

03:15:14.000 Are there or are there not but babies?

03:15:17.000 Let's get confirmation.

03:15:20.000 He's adorable.

03:15:21.000 He's an adorable baby.

03:15:22.000 Let's be clear.

03:15:25.000 This is what CNN, they want us to just be like, it's a gay guy with a partner and they have a baby and they're supposed to be like, oh yeah, no questions.

03:15:32.000 Yeah.

03:15:32.000 He just, he drew the short straw by having Anderson Cooper as his father.

03:15:36.000 You know how I know this is not Anderson Cooper's baby?

03:15:38.000 That baby is already more expressive than Anderson Cooper has been in two hours.

03:15:43.000 I mean, come on.

03:15:43.000 See, now look.

03:15:45.000 Actually, he kind of looks like... And can you get a hat that fits for your baby, Anderson Cooper?

03:15:50.000 I feel like it's about to yell, Gryffindor!

03:15:55.000 Does Anderson Cooper look like a...

03:15:58.000 Head shaved Glenn Close?

03:16:00.000 He does!

03:16:02.000 You know what?

03:16:02.000 If someone can bring up the image of Glenn Close and Hook as the male pirate, they look strikingly similar, only she had a beard.

03:16:09.000 Which Anderson Cooper cannot grow.

03:16:10.000 Anderson Cooper trying to smile is creepy.

03:16:12.000 I feel like Anderson Cooper's like, I'm gonna end my boring show with baby pics!

03:16:17.000 Pretty much.

03:16:17.000 Jazz it up right at the very end.

03:16:19.000 We're going to have Bill Gates come on here and not talk about the permanent microchip so that your children can have all of their information publicly available.

03:16:29.000 And then we're going to show my baby without providing any biological answers.

03:16:33.000 Dox the babies! 1.00

03:16:37.000 They've shown the baby at least 19 times.

03:16:42.000 Did our stream get cut?

03:16:43.000 Because you said DOX the babies! 1.00

03:16:47.000 I didn't mean it.

03:16:48.000 Don't do it.

03:16:49.000 We do have Glenn Close.

03:16:51.000 Do we?

03:16:54.000 No, that's Glenn Close.

03:16:56.000 No, that is Glenn Close, but I want it next to Anderson Cooper.

03:16:58.000 That is Anderson Cooper.

03:16:59.000 It's Anderson Cooper with a beard.

03:17:01.000 No, so those are both Glenn Close.

03:17:02.000 No, no, do the one in pink of Glenn Close next to Anderson Cooper.

03:17:07.000 Oh man, that's crazy.

03:17:09.000 He is such a good actor.

03:17:13.000 Wow.

03:17:15.000 When Mr. Zucker, president of CNN, walked over to Anderson and said, who doubted me?

03:17:19.000 Was it you? And Anderson's like, no, no, no, no. He said, hmm, the stelter box. No! No! No! That's what happened.

03:17:28.000 Fact check it. Hey, so Reg, get on that. Do it. I dare you.

03:17:32.000 Hey Reg, did you ever think that's what you'd be fact checking? Your super powers would be used for this. Oh, I

03:17:38.000 see what Reg is doing. We have two more minutes. Don't do that. Look how long their commercial breaks are.

03:17:45.000 They're four minutes long and we feel guilty about taking two and a half minutes to actually create original content.

03:17:50.000 They run six minutes of Trivago.

03:17:54.000 Let's give a couple more giveaways here. 0.51

03:17:59.000 Okay, I will say this.

03:18:00.000 This next one.

03:18:00.000 And again, the promo code is quarantine.

03:18:02.000 This is the end of Mug Club Quarantine. 0.67

03:18:04.000 Hashtag Mug Club Quarantine.

03:18:05.000 We appreciate every one of you who have been with us.

03:18:07.000 And here's the thing.

03:18:08.000 I know that a lot of you, sometimes there's a disconnect because we provide a lot of free content.

03:18:12.000 Especially this month because we wanted to be with you.

03:18:13.000 We know how lonely a lot of people were feeling out there.

03:18:17.000 But do understand that with, you know, the YouTube.com slash Steven Crowder.

03:18:21.000 Why am I doing that?

03:18:22.000 HGTV backslash with the channel being demonetized.

03:18:26.000 Obviously we have a couple of sponsors, and Black Rifle Coffee, fantastic, and obviously we have Walther, and ExpressVPN has come in to do a few spots here and there.

03:18:34.000 But really, we are sponsored by viewers like you joining up at Mug Club.

03:18:38.000 Otherwise, all the content ceases to be, so please do join up if you want this content to continue.

03:18:43.000 And let us know!

03:18:43.000 Let us know if you want more Good Morning Mug Club, what you want to see, because we've dumped a bunch of weird content this month.

03:18:49.000 We just said, let's just try this stuff because we have the bandwidth and we have the time.

03:18:54.000 Well, we already know the answer.

03:18:56.000 What?

03:18:56.000 People love it.

03:18:57.000 What?

03:18:57.000 I mean, people love the video game with Jean-Guy, they've loved... I'm not saying they loved it because they enjoyed it, but they did love laughing at you about it.

03:19:10.000 Of course.

03:19:10.000 I feel so bad for de Hidenado.

03:19:13.000 He walked into a crap storm and had no idea. 0.90

03:19:16.000 People love Gerald when he talks about on Mass Monday. 0.98

03:19:20.000 Gerald is great at Mass Monday, I will say.

03:19:22.000 They have respect for him now. 0.99

03:19:26.000 Damn you, Bill, what I laugh at a joke about! 1.00

03:19:28.000 Just me! 1.00

03:19:29.000 Right under there!

03:19:30.000 No, but it is really exciting because, you know, we're talking about the break next week, off air for a little while, but I'll tell you, it's so exciting the different things that are on the list to get filmed, that'll be ready for when we come back, and the different projects that we're working on.

03:19:42.000 We can only do it because of Mug Club, because of the people who are listening on the podcast, people who are deciding to support, who are supporting despite everything that's going on, and people who are even gifting these to their friends.

03:19:52.000 It's amazing.

03:19:53.000 And people are re-upping even though they have time left on their subscriptions.

03:19:58.000 Mug Club is better than Bernie Bros in every way.

03:20:00.000 And, uh, okay, so let me go to this, and then you know what?

03:20:04.000 Sorry, I hate to switch commercials up on you and stuff, but if we can do the same thing, we'll do, uh... I'll do it.

03:20:08.000 Let's do it.

03:20:10.000 Uh... Okay.

03:20:11.000 This was actually probably my favorite sketch.

03:20:14.000 Ever?

03:20:14.000 Ever.

03:20:15.000 Of the year.

03:20:16.000 Wow.

03:20:16.000 Okay, alright.

03:20:17.000 AudioWay, do you remember how I came in and I was like, I was a little late one morning?

03:20:20.000 Right.

03:20:20.000 And do you remember why I was late?

03:20:23.000 It's the Ruxpin. 0.94

03:20:24.000 I was late because I was finding the perfect soundbites for Suge Knight Ruxpin.

03:20:27.000 I almost don't want to give this away.

03:20:28.000 I want this on my desk.

03:20:30.000 yes all that's right yes the perfect sound my trust find the perfect sound

03:20:34.000 bites for sugar night rocks exactly I don't even remember yeah you can bring

03:20:38.000 it okay sugar night rocks been let's bring this in this is I almost don't

03:20:41.000 want to give this away I want this on my desk it's too late make another one

03:20:44.000 quarter like I can make another one Tonight?

03:20:48.000 No, don't make another one tonight.

03:20:49.000 He's got people.

03:20:49.000 So this is, look how much this looks like Suge Knight.

03:20:52.000 Yeah.

03:20:52.000 It is remarkable.

03:20:53.000 So what was the story?

03:20:54.000 I don't even know what prompted it, but we did... Yeah, it doesn't matter.

03:20:57.000 We did a Suge Knight Ruxpin sketch, and I spent several hours that morning looking up the perfect actual soundbites from Suge Knight to put into a Teddy Ruxpin parody commercial.

03:21:08.000 Yeah.

03:21:09.000 And it was very responsible because I made everyone else's day late, but I think it yielded dividends.

03:21:15.000 You'll see from the commercial.

03:21:17.000 And then we also have, uh, right here, uh, this is, so we have a bag of sand from the beaches of Normandy.

03:21:23.000 Oh my god, look at Chris Cuomo!

03:21:24.000 He got a shorn!

03:21:26.000 Oh, that's a self-haircut if I've ever seen one!

03:21:28.000 That was Christina.

03:21:28.000 Wow.

03:21:30.000 What is Ti- He looks like Tintin! 0.97

03:21:32.000 They're still talking about the baby.

03:21:35.000 A little pass up there, yeah.

03:21:36.000 What is wrong with Sanjay Gupta's face?

03:21:38.000 It's like, what is he doing?

03:21:39.000 I don't understand.

03:21:41.000 OK.

03:21:42.000 This is a jar of, let me bring this up real quick, just because it's the first time we've seen Chris Cuomo's horrible face.

03:21:42.000 All right.

03:21:46.000 It's amazing.

03:21:47.000 I literally do not have language to kind of wrap my head around it and to explain it.

03:21:51.000 But I think.

03:21:52.000 I mean, I'm happy.

03:21:53.000 Yeah.

03:21:54.000 I'm happy to hear you.

03:21:55.000 Whether talking about Chris's haircut or in a better way.

03:21:58.000 And more important.

03:21:59.000 Wow, that's a bad haircut.

03:22:00.000 And you will honor the memory?

03:22:05.000 of your loved ones in a way you never imagined through how you love this kid. 1.00

03:22:10.000 And your waspy ass is going to... This is new! 1.00

03:22:15.000 Oh my gosh!

03:22:18.000 Breathe!

03:22:18.000 Bill, breathe!

03:22:22.000 He did say, that was pretty funny, your waspy. 0.94

03:22:26.000 I know, because it sounded like wafty.

03:22:29.000 Like wafty, like it's wind running through an empty alleyway. 0.99

03:22:33.000 And you know we weren't going to get banned because you said asshats. 0.97

03:22:43.000 So we have Suge Knight Ruxpin. 0.98

03:22:44.000 This is a vial of sand from the Saving Private Ryan parody, the intro.

03:22:49.000 Because we actually brought in the beaches of Normandy into our green screen.

03:22:51.000 You'll get to see some behind the scenes there.

03:22:54.000 How many pounds of sand?

03:22:54.000 Hundreds of pounds.

03:22:56.000 Many, many hundreds of pounds of sand.

03:22:57.000 At least 50 bags.

03:22:58.000 And to be clear, you're not just going to get this vial of sand.

03:23:00.000 You will also get a signed Change My Mind banner from one of our actual lines, Change My Minds.

03:23:06.000 Here, you can just walk in and hold it up there, Wuhan Batman.

03:23:10.000 There we go.

03:23:11.000 Trump is not racist.

03:23:13.000 Thank you very much.

03:23:13.000 There you go.

03:23:14.000 Hey, am I the only one who thinks that Chris Cuomo, he looks like he's at, who was, what was that band that always had the eyes like they were on drugs?

03:23:19.000 Was it ELO, was it, who was it?

03:23:21.000 That doesn't narrow it down.

03:23:22.000 Not ELO, it was like IFO, AFO, it was like a techno band where they always had the black pupils. 1.00

03:23:27.000 No idea.

03:23:27.000 Anyway, that's what Chris Coleman looks like.

03:23:29.000 So, we have a vial of sand from the beaches of Normandy.

03:23:32.000 We have the Suge Knight Ruxpin.

03:23:34.000 And then, finally, we have one more here, actually, that we have to go get from the ceiling.

03:23:39.000 Oh, yeah.

03:23:39.000 Really?

03:23:39.000 It is because even Brendan put it up on the ceiling.

03:23:42.000 He climbed it like it was a palm tree.

03:23:44.000 He did.

03:23:44.000 We have the giant Brian Stelter face.

03:23:47.000 Let's bring this in here.

03:23:47.000 Yeah, you can just bring him in.

03:23:48.000 You don't have to wait.

03:23:49.000 We're not so close.

03:23:54.000 It's a giant Brian Stelter face and this is the one that even Brendan, if you guys remember that sequence where we showed the security camera footage live on air.

03:24:02.000 He climbed up 60 feet.

03:24:03.000 I saw that.

03:24:03.000 And you had to have him sign a waiver after that if he was doing any of this going forward in the office.

03:24:07.000 In blood.

03:24:11.000 He had a rough day at school.

03:24:12.000 He said none of the kids would talk to him.

03:24:14.000 the Brian Stelter face.

03:24:16.000 This will be a really short commercial break, and we will be right back with the winners,

03:24:20.000 and then Chris Cuomo, which I've been looking forward to.

03:24:22.000 Oh yeah.

03:24:23.000 That's why we're still here.

03:24:24.000 One minute.

03:24:25.000 He had a rough day at school.

03:24:27.000 He said none of the kids would talk to him.

03:24:29.000 I have an idea.

03:24:30.000 Oh boy, Suge Knight Ruxpin.

03:24:33.000 I swear to y'all, it's like this. 1.00

03:24:35.000 I'm going to beat the dog s*** out of you. 1.00

03:24:37.000 If a d*** is telling you that the police didn't do it, they a punk-ass d***. 1.00

03:24:41.000 So if you ask me if I know who killed Tupac, I'm the d*** that said, hey, absolutely not. 1.00

03:24:49.000 I'm going to f*** you up, man. 0.99

03:24:51.000 That light is f***ing me up. 1.00

03:24:56.000 They've got us surrounded!

03:24:57.000 I don't know how much more we can take!

03:24:58.000 Come on! 0.61

03:24:59.000 Don't think like that!

03:25:00.000 I promise you, after this, I'll buy everyone here a round of beer!

03:25:03.000 Okay?

03:25:03.000 Even Brandon!

03:25:04.000 Thank you, sir!

03:25:05.000 Was he gonna salute?

03:25:06.000 He was gonna salute!

03:25:07.000 That's not protocol!

03:25:13.000 Corporal Black, tell me you have some good news for us!

03:25:15.000 Right now, Captain!

03:25:16.000 There's hardly anybody left!

03:25:18.000 They took out Gathered, Trigger, you got ambushed, Vince Shapiro's gone, and it gets worse!

03:25:22.000 It's not gonna get any worse!

03:25:23.000 It's just box videos!

03:25:25.000 It's all unboxings and makeup tutorials with training! 0.74

03:25:28.000 Corporal Black! 0.70

03:25:29.000 Corporal Black! 0.99

03:25:32.000 I'm making up crap, but don't let me fool you! 1.00

03:25:37.000 Tell me, tell me, tell me! 0.99

03:25:39.000 Come on, tell me the answer.

03:25:42.000 You can be my lover, but I'm a troubled dancer.

03:25:46.000 Have the stutter.

03:25:58.000 We are back live.

03:26:04.000 We're hoping we're going to get some actual fact-checking of Chris Cuomo really quickly.

03:26:08.000 But first, give us the winners.

03:26:11.000 The winners are here.

03:26:12.000 They are Nicholas C., he gets the Suge Knight bear.

03:26:15.000 Nice.

03:26:16.000 Stantee, Michigan.

03:26:16.000 Hold on a second, there are no Aryans in here, correct?

03:26:19.000 No, no Aryans.

03:26:19.000 Yes, correct, we've pre-checked.

03:26:20.000 Not a one.

03:26:22.000 Next is Nick S., he wins the Jar of Sand.

03:26:25.000 Nice.

03:26:26.000 Joshua D. gets the D.

03:26:30.000 The big stelter face.

03:26:33.000 I think the Hodge twins, I think we're going to run out of time because we have to hit Cuomo here.

03:26:37.000 So let them know and let Darren know.

03:26:39.000 Hodge twins, we'll have you on when we come back.

03:26:42.000 Let's do Hodge twins as the first guest when we come back. 0.99

03:26:44.000 I appreciate you guys waiting up.

03:26:45.000 But I know that they're on Pacific.

03:26:47.000 They're fine.

03:26:48.000 It's like dinner time.

03:26:49.000 And let's be honest, they go to bed like at 4 in the morning.

03:26:52.000 Wow.

03:26:53.000 It's a cultural thing.

03:26:56.000 Tell that to the families.

03:27:02.000 And before you jump to the conclusion that this is about more about Trump, no.

03:27:07.000 The answer is less.

03:27:08.000 The answer is less of this talk.

03:27:10.000 Less of the lies.

03:27:12.000 Less of the jumping leadership and mixed messaging.

03:27:15.000 All right.

03:27:15.000 We're sorry.

03:27:16.000 I forgot about the drinking game.

03:27:17.000 We have to fact check this, even though he hasn't said anything.

03:27:19.000 He's just accused the president of lying.

03:27:21.000 And why do I say discounted?

03:27:23.000 The president has complimented China dozens of times since January

03:27:30.000 and about their behavior in the outbreak and vis-a-vis covid.

03:27:35.000 Now the administration is planning to take broad action against them.

03:27:41.000 So China is a very sophisticated country and they could have contained it. 0.96

03:27:46.000 They were either unable to or they chose not to.

03:27:50.000 And the world has suffered greatly.

03:27:51.000 I'm holding them accountable.

03:27:52.000 True.

03:27:53.000 Is that something you prefer to do now in the next few weeks?

03:27:55.000 No, I don't want to do that.

03:27:56.000 I want to find out what happened.

03:27:57.000 I think we'll be able to get a very good, very powerful definition of exactly what happened.

03:28:03.000 We're working on it strongly now and I think it's going to be very powerful.

03:28:08.000 Just know this.

03:28:08.000 What was wrong with that?

03:28:09.000 Criticism he just levied against China is absolutely applicable to him and to the United States of America, its government.

03:28:17.000 Okay.

03:28:17.000 What?

03:28:18.000 What he just said about China is every bit as true. 1.00

03:28:20.000 Okay.

03:28:21.000 Did the United States start the coronavirus, Chris Cuomo?

03:28:24.000 Hold on a second.

03:28:25.000 Don't quote the Chinese ambassador who blames it on American troops.

03:28:27.000 I know you love to quote Chi-Com propaganda. 0.95

03:28:30.000 No, we didn't start it, and we didn't lie about starting it, and we didn't tell people that it couldn't be transmitted through human-to-human contact, and we didn't actually blame another country for being racist when they put a travel ban from our country, which would be the country of origin for the virus.

03:28:45.000 Again, I'm speaking, of course, hypothetically if we were Chinese.

03:28:47.000 China also we don't suck yeah but after the whistleblower doctor who blow the 0.98

03:28:51.000 whistle on this and then made him sign a statement saying he wouldn't do that 0.94

03:28:55.000 and why is Cuomo still in his basement and this broad is in the field you

03:28:58.000 couldn't go out and do that work yourself mr. Cuomo you're too busy

03:29:01.000 threatening guys and fat tire bicycles what's what I find to be incredible is

03:29:05.000 that it is un unquestioned at this point even in mainstream media that the that

03:29:10.000 the coronavirus as we currently know it was known to the Chinese authorities in

03:29:16.000 in November, December.

03:29:18.000 They knew.

03:29:18.000 And they did not decide to give any information about it.

03:29:22.000 And then on top of that, they've actually made active orders in the last 30 to 45 days to silence people who are investigating the source of the disease.

03:29:32.000 And those instructions are not, hey, Hold on a second, let's watch this real quick.

03:29:38.000 I'm not disappointed in anyone.

03:29:39.000 Just literally, we don't want any discussions about it whatsoever.

03:29:41.000 Hold on a second, let's watch this real quick.

03:29:42.000 I have a point about whistleblowers, remind me.

03:29:44.000 The relationship with China is a good one, and my relationship with him is really good.

03:29:52.000 Yes, relationships change.

03:29:55.000 Kind of like the Japanese after the whole Pearl Harbor shtick. 1.00

03:29:59.000 The point is that things change when you screw up.

03:30:03.000 That's why relationships end. 0.92

03:30:05.000 That's why family members become estranged.

03:30:06.000 And by the way, you said that every single criticism lobbed against the Chinese government from Donald Trump could be directed toward the United States.

03:30:14.000 You know how I know that's not true?

03:30:15.000 Because Chris Cuomo, you still exist.

03:30:18.000 You haven't been disappeared like legitimate whistleblowers in China!

03:30:22.000 Yeah.

03:30:23.000 By the way, it's also called negotiating.

03:30:26.000 Okay?

03:30:26.000 You can take a very hard line with people and then soften it up just a bit so that you can get them to the table.

03:30:30.000 It's like when you go and you buy a car, you know the used car salesman is trying to screw you, but you act like you're his friend, so you get a good deal, and then afterwards you walk off the lot and go, Can I say as an example, when I was in college I was assigned to this group that would work with people who were students visiting from all around the world.

03:30:47.000 And I had one person assigned to me for a semester who was from central China. 0.93

03:30:53.000 And one of the things we talked about the most was how shocked she was when she got here about the fact that the country was not Just completely overridden with trash. 0.90

03:31:04.000 Oh, wait, hold on a second. 0.94

03:31:04.000 Hold on a second. 0.94

03:31:05.000 Continue.

03:31:05.000 But intelligence community also concurs with the wide consensus that the COVID-19 virus was not man-made or genetically modified.

03:31:11.000 That's not the point.

03:31:13.000 Where did it originate?

03:31:14.000 I almost said originate.

03:31:15.000 Originate?

03:31:19.000 Doesn't that matter?

03:31:20.000 Here's the thing.

03:31:21.000 Let's say it's not man-made.

03:31:22.000 Okay?

03:31:23.000 Let's say that it didn't come from a lab.

03:31:25.000 Let's say it was an accident because you guys eat bat soup. 1.00

03:31:27.000 I'm with Bill.

03:31:27.000 He's about to say something about that.

03:31:28.000 Aren't you still accountable for the fact that you lied about it when you couldn't save lives?

03:31:31.000 Yes.

03:31:31.000 Go ahead.

03:31:32.000 They just said they're going to still investigate it.

03:31:34.000 That wasn't a strong point for them.

03:31:37.000 They're basically saying, hey, we don't think this is man-made, and we're trying to figure out if it got out of the Wuhan lab.

03:31:42.000 Why would you put that up as a point for you in any way, shape, or form if you're trying to poke at Trump? 0.98

03:31:47.000 Because Chris Cuomo is retarded. 1.00

03:31:48.000 Hey, guys, this helps, right? 0.99

03:31:50.000 Big Banner, he walks in with, like, the big check.

03:31:52.000 Not great.

03:31:53.000 Hey, you know what they're not doing anymore?

03:31:54.000 These live tweets.

03:31:55.000 Yeah.

03:31:57.000 Cut that.

03:31:58.000 They stopped that real fast.

03:31:59.000 All right, so this woman was coming to me, and we literally went, like, a bill of rights, went through all the different bill of rights.

03:32:07.000 the different parts of the rights that are in there, along with the amendments that came

03:32:11.000 afterwards and she was just shocked.

03:32:13.000 And the one she was most shocked about is the point you just made about Chris Cuomo.

03:32:16.000 She said, I cannot believe that people are allowed to criticize the government.

03:32:22.000 She goes, I just, I'm waiting every day for that person to not be on the news anymore.

03:32:29.000 And yet, Chris Cuomo is here able to talk about this and exaggerate and lie and mislead. 0.98

03:32:35.000 And suck at his job. 0.98

03:32:36.000 Right, and selectively. 0.99

03:32:38.000 And not only is he not disappeared, but he's paid to do it.

03:32:42.000 Millions to do it.

03:32:43.000 And by the way, while we're talking about lying, then bitches about doing it on a podcast, saying that he doesn't want to do it anymore, and then he just goes on air and says, that's not true, I never said it. 0.78

03:32:52.000 We played the tape on the show!

03:32:54.000 We all heard you say it!

03:32:56.000 You said that you were tired of the partisan hackery, and really though, the worst part about that story is that he wanted to leave CNN because he didn't think it was partisan hack-like enough!

03:33:05.000 Wait, wait, wait.

03:33:06.000 Is he saying right now that it's dangerous to be out there?

03:33:10.000 there he was talking about his... he was talking about his friends having to wear bulletproof

03:33:15.000 vests to cover this.

03:33:16.000 During this unprecedented national shutdown, pain and frustration rising.

03:33:21.000 Get this guy a pop filter.

03:33:26.000 By this weekend, more than half of our states will have started to reopen.

03:33:30.000 Is this guy a Scot?

03:33:32.000 Is he a Scot?

03:33:33.000 Craig, what's his face?

03:33:34.000 It's the principal.

03:33:35.000 CNN is obsessed with outsourcing jobs.

03:33:38.000 We're not going to make anything here.

03:33:41.000 It's just for the staff to be able to keep providing for the families on the day-to-day.

03:33:45.000 No, it's Beto and Son Restaurant.

03:33:45.000 I know that guy.

03:33:45.000 Josh Peck?

03:33:46.000 It's got a great restaurant in West Allis.

03:33:47.000 It's Utah from midnight.

03:33:49.000 No, it's a Beto and Son restaurant.

03:33:51.000 I do actually know that guy.

03:33:52.000 He's got a great restaurant in West Allis.

03:33:55.000 Beto and Son, yeah.

03:33:56.000 I knew his dad.

03:33:57.000 Not Beto, not that Beto.

03:33:58.000 Yeah, different Beto.

03:33:59.000 Different Beto.

03:34:02.000 Cool Beto.

03:34:05.000 Hey, uh, Garson, I'll need to fill up again.

03:34:08.000 By the way, hit the ding about five times right now.

03:34:11.000 Ah, son of a ding.

03:34:12.000 Everything that Chris Cuomo just said was incorrect.

03:34:19.000 By the way, please, everybody watching right now, tweet Chris Cuomo.

03:34:22.000 Let him know that we are watching him and that their network just ran a tweet from someone in the Aryan Brotherhood and we caught it.

03:34:30.000 Can we do hashtag Fredo, too?

03:34:32.000 And we're gonna plaster that all over the internet like we're Banksy.

03:34:38.000 No salad bars?

03:34:39.000 Man, that's amazing. 1.00

03:34:40.000 Somewhere the last remaining Ponderosa's like, shit! 0.99

03:34:44.000 They were like, you can't pass the plate at church, it has to be a stationary collection box. 1.00

03:34:48.000 Why are they asleep?

03:34:50.000 Let's open them up this weekend, but let's make sure everybody plays ball.

03:34:55.000 So this is a real test case for us. 0.62

03:34:57.000 He looks like an alcoholic finger puppet.

03:34:59.000 But the crowds packed too tight.

03:35:02.000 Good thing that aerosol coronavirus is killed by UV light.

03:35:08.000 60 seconds.

03:35:10.000 He goes, and the beaches were packed too tight, and every picture he showed were beaches not packed too tightly.

03:35:10.000 Did you hear what he said?

03:35:15.000 Come on, guys.

03:35:18.000 And by the way, they still have these same guidelines in these states.

03:35:24.000 This is also something that's important to me.

03:35:26.000 This is a principle that we need to understand.

03:35:28.000 If the laws are unenforceable, they're useless.

03:35:32.000 In other words, you either have to lock people indefinitely in their houses, Or, you're going by the honor system, hoping that people don't go to a nude beach and lay on the same towel, right?

03:35:44.000 That's what you're hoping, but the fact is, you can't enforce it.

03:35:46.000 You can't really enforce a six-foot rule unless you want to lock up women for having their kid play in a public park. 1.00

03:35:53.000 Look, if Costco and Home Depot and Walmart and Kroger and Tom Thumb and every other food store can be open, surely I can go to a beach.

03:36:00.000 By the way, that was redundant.

03:36:01.000 We understand they're a grocery store.

03:36:02.000 Okay, yes.

03:36:03.000 But Home Depot's not a grocery store.

03:36:05.000 Give more examples.

03:36:06.000 Costco's not necessary.

03:36:07.000 I mean, like, if all these businesses can be open and we can go in there.

03:36:10.000 What about, dare I say, Sam's Club?

03:36:14.000 Steven, we have standards, okay?

03:36:16.000 If all of those can be open, surely a public beach can.

03:36:20.000 I keep thinking when I look at Chris Cuomo with his haircut that, like, Trump drafted him.

03:36:25.000 It was like, hey!

03:36:26.000 We need you!

03:36:27.000 Put him on the front lines!

03:36:29.000 This is actually all his entire show.

03:36:29.000 We need you!

03:36:31.000 It was just one big, long-running audition for Stripes 2.

03:36:36.000 Can someone bring up a picture of Rin Tin?

03:36:38.000 Sorry, Rin Tin.

03:36:39.000 Tin Tin.

03:36:39.000 Not Rin Tin Tin.

03:36:40.000 I was saying Rin Tin Tin.

03:36:41.000 Bring up a picture of Tin Tin. 0.99

03:36:42.000 Let's hear what kind of crazy crap he has to say. 0.99

03:36:42.000 Let's listen to him. 0.99

03:36:45.000 And we don't.

03:36:46.000 You have not.

03:36:46.000 Okay, Chris Cuomo, let me tell you something.

03:36:48.000 and I, we have to believe in the process and what we're told.

03:36:53.000 And we don't.

03:36:54.000 Credibility is key.

03:36:57.000 You have no right.

03:36:58.000 Okay, Chris Cuomo, let me tell you something.

03:37:01.000 It's one thing to have a differing opinion.

03:37:03.000 All right, little Chris.

03:37:05.000 Little Chrissy.

03:37:06.000 Your wife is Christina.

03:37:06.000 Or is that your wife?

03:37:07.000 I don't know.

03:37:08.000 She's piggybacking off of your fame to sell people crystal lamps. 1.00

03:37:12.000 How many lives does she have on her hands, by the way, Chris Cuomo? 0.64

03:37:15.000 But Chris Cuomo, do you know what the problem is here?

03:37:18.000 It's not that you have a differing opinion and you don't think that Donald Trump has been 100% effective.

03:37:22.000 I think that all of us here would agree that Donald Trump has made some good decisions and he's made some missteps. 0.95

03:37:27.000 For example, when he tweeted out his crap about Sweden today, Piss me off, but I understand why he's doing it.

03:37:33.000 Donald Trump, I don't think, I don't think believes for a second, I don't think any mathematician or any epidemiologist believes for a second that now, knowing what we know now, and we had an absence of data, now we have overwhelming data that 2.2 million American lives would be lost, okay? 0.97

03:37:48.000 But he wants to play that up, President Donald Trump.

03:37:50.000 That being said, I think it's understandable.

03:37:50.000 Of course.

03:37:51.000 look this administration saved 2 million lives.

03:37:54.000 So no Americans are getting the truth from either the left who want to attack Donald

03:37:57.000 Trump or Donald Trump who wants to use their standards by which to defend themselves.

03:38:01.000 So I have a problem with Donald Trump doing that.

03:38:03.000 That being said, I think it's understandable.

03:38:05.000 But Chris Cuomo, you may have a differing opinion from Donald Trump and I understand

03:38:09.000 that reporters should hold the president accountable.

03:38:12.000 My main gripe with you Chris Cuomo is why do you not ever hold the Chinese Communist 0.83

03:38:19.000 government as accountable as you hold Donald Trump.

03:38:24.000 No!

03:38:24.000 Not all accusations that can be levied against the Chinese government can be aimed at the United States.

03:38:30.000 Not at all.

03:38:31.000 Like whistleblowers disappearing, like lying about a virus, like blaming it on American

03:38:35.000 troops.

03:38:36.000 No, they can't.

03:38:38.000 There is not any kind of a moral equivalency between the two.

03:38:41.000 I just wish that Chris Cuomo, you were as outraged about the Chinese government silencing

03:38:47.000 and likely killing its own journalists as you are about Donald Trump now being pissed

03:38:52.000 off at the Chinese government for silencing its journalists.

03:38:55.000 Or, you know what, at the very least, how about this? 1.00

03:38:57.000 Be just, be half as pissed off at the Chinese propagandist communist government as you are at people riding bicycles while you're lying about your self-quarantine, you stupid, showy, weak prick. 1.00

03:39:11.000 Come at me, bro. 1.00

03:39:12.000 You threaten to kick everybody's ass. 1.00

03:39:14.000 Me first. 1.00

03:39:15.000 I'm first in line.

03:39:16.000 You name the spot.

03:39:17.000 Name the place.

03:39:18.000 It can be a debate.

03:39:20.000 It can be a physical fight.

03:39:21.000 I know you love to challenge people on that front on a regular basis.

03:39:25.000 I've never issued this to anyone but you. 1.00

03:39:27.000 You are a horrible, dishonest disgrace for a human being. 1.00

03:39:31.000 And I know I'm sounding young Turks right now. 1.00

03:39:34.000 At one point in this country, when we talk about the polarization in this country, listen, I get it.

03:39:38.000 There's right, there's left.

03:39:39.000 I understand it.

03:39:39.000 I don't have a problem with polarization, for example, when it comes to abortion, up until and including nine months.

03:39:44.000 I think some partisanship is pretty good.

03:39:46.000 You know where we should be united?

03:39:49.000 We should be united when a foreign government lied about a virus that you covered, by the way.

03:39:55.000 You actually covered their tweets and their quotes saying that it couldn't be transmitted from human-to-human contact.

03:40:01.000 Disappearing, magically, they're journalists, silencing dissent, committing gross abuses of human rights, especially when they are against your country.

03:40:11.000 You are a communist sympathizer and you hate the United States of America.

03:40:15.000 And you know what? 0.91

03:40:16.000 This is more legitimate journalism than your show because you're talking to Donald Trump, who you know doesn't watch your show, like Everyone else in America, but I know that your network has someone watching this stream because you took down your oopsie mistake of including an Aryan Brotherhood retweet.

03:40:33.000 Yeah.

03:40:34.000 Well, look, if you're going to pick any country to side with... My cigar probably went out.

03:40:37.000 Yeah. 0.99

03:40:38.000 You're going to have to suck on it really... I'm not going to go anywhere else. 1.00

03:40:41.000 Geez, Gerald.

03:40:42.000 I just had a moment.

03:40:44.000 Could you imagine that?

03:40:46.000 He's Mr. Chamberlain.

03:40:47.000 We will never, ever, ever surrender. 1.00

03:40:50.000 Yes, but you suck a mean dick. 1.00

03:40:52.000 He wasn't going to say that. 1.00

03:40:53.000 I was going to say, really?

03:40:55.000 With a cigar, you have to puff on it a lot to get it to come back to life.

03:40:58.000 And it sounded bad.

03:40:58.000 I was trying to stop myself, and I couldn't.

03:41:00.000 So Gerald, stop digging down the hole.

03:41:01.000 What was your point?

03:41:02.000 I'm just going to die on the hill.

03:41:03.000 We're just going to go to break.

03:41:05.000 I mean, really, if you're going to pick any country, like, what is the only, North Korea was like the only worst country on the list, potentially, to pick than China to side with over the United States to say that every criticism leveled at them could be leveled at us too.

03:41:18.000 If Tony hated Donald Trump, Chris Cuomo would say that he was a freedom fighter.

03:41:22.000 How blind do you have to be?

03:41:22.000 Exactly!

03:41:24.000 How much of a no-talent ass clown do you have to be to say something like that? 1.00

03:41:28.000 It's Kid Mr. Sam's Club! 0.99

03:41:30.000 Are there any more stories?

03:41:32.000 You need to chug more bottles of wine during the break!

03:41:34.000 I know, right? That really was...

03:41:36.000 He's crossed the line a number of times for me, but that is one of the most egregious things that I've ever heard a

03:41:41.000 reporter in the United States say.

03:41:43.000 Every criticism that you could level, think about exactly what that means.

03:41:46.000 Every criticism, like you said, that you can level at them, you can level at not this country, but Trump and this administration.

03:41:55.000 He silences whistleblowers.

03:41:55.000 Right, exactly.

03:41:56.000 He silences people.

03:41:57.000 Sorry.

03:41:57.000 He basically drags people who are dissidents into a COVID-infested hospital and says, good luck!

03:42:03.000 Right?

03:42:03.000 He didn't do any of that stuff.

03:42:04.000 All he did was stuff you disagreed with, that you gave him a hard time for when he was trying to respond appropriately. 0.97

03:42:10.000 And now that people want to go back to work and they disagree with your sorry ass, you're pissed at them because you think they don't care about anybody else's lives. 0.98

03:42:18.000 That's not true! 0.99

03:42:18.000 And you know what else? 0.99

03:42:19.000 I read that his house is made of all steel.

03:42:22.000 Prick! 1.00

03:42:22.000 Damn you! 1.00

03:42:24.000 You post-modernist prick! 1.00

03:42:26.000 It's not even recyclable! 0.98

03:42:28.000 Look, I've definitely seen way more CNN than I think is safe this month.

03:42:32.000 And I've seen way more of Chris Cuomo than I think is safe this month.

03:42:36.000 You saw the new pic.

03:42:36.000 Did he tweet you?

03:42:37.000 Did he DM you too?

03:42:38.000 Too much.

03:42:39.000 Wow.

03:42:39.000 Twice.

03:42:42.000 But what I do have to say is heartening to me, are people who had regularly watched CNN before and found it to be their main source, having watched it so much more now during quarantine, Are the people who are now like, I can't get a single shred of neutral news out of that.

03:43:04.000 And I cannot listen to anything that they say.

03:43:06.000 They can't go more than two sentences unless they're showing Anderson Cooper's baby without criticizing Trump.

03:43:15.000 Because in not a single point in any of these times that we've talked about this, have they said, you know, we really need to take a hard look at the numbers that came out of China.

03:43:25.000 We really need to be doing investigation.

03:43:27.000 We need to be taking action.

03:43:29.000 Not a single shred of criticism.

03:43:32.000 And if you come out of this without a shred of criticism for the way that China has handled this, and instead you go, well if there's any criticisms it's also against Trump!

03:43:42.000 Yeah.

03:43:42.000 And every American.

03:43:43.000 Let me ask you this. 0.98

03:43:44.000 It's ridiculous. 0.99

03:43:44.000 Genuine question, because you have a lot of family. 0.99

03:43:46.000 Now, do you have family or friends in mainland China?

03:43:49.000 Because I know mostly Hong Kong.

03:43:50.000 So I have some family, an extended family, who are both in Hong Kong and in mainland China.

03:43:54.000 OK.

03:43:54.000 Let me ask you this.

03:43:55.000 Removing the communist government, because we've talked about this, there's a big separation between the Chinese communist government and the people.

03:44:01.000 What do you think the people of China think about their government and the propagandists like their ambassador?

03:44:07.000 What do you think they think when they hear someone like Chris Cuomo parroting those points?

03:44:11.000 Let me put it this way.

03:44:12.000 I have a relative who I won't even identify because I'm literally fearful for her safety.

03:44:17.000 That's okay.

03:44:17.000 They all look alike.

03:44:18.000 Yeah, but when you're there, you can tell them differently.

03:44:20.000 Steven, not to them.

03:44:21.000 They can tell.

03:44:22.000 Not to them.

03:44:23.000 Kind of like pufferfish can tell other pufferfish, but I'm not opposed.

03:44:25.000 Yeah, no, that's actually correct.

03:44:28.000 But I won't say what her relation is to me, but I will tell you that in America, she would be considered a leftist, and in China, she's considered a threat. 0.92

03:44:38.000 That is how far... That's how far a leftist is.

03:44:40.000 The government is in China about their own rights. 0.91

03:44:44.000 We were close before when she was living in the United States, and now she's not anymore.

03:44:48.000 She's living in China. 0.71

03:44:49.000 And what I see, the few things that I am able to see that come through, which are usually kind of direct communications or through another relative, There are things where I would say, wow, you would probably be a revolutionary here in terms of how far left you are compared to American politics, but you are a threat to the Chinese government there because of how much you protest about what they're doing, about the news, about the scientists, about the data, about the health, about the safety. 0.51

03:45:18.000 You can't honestly be a journalist or a human being and look at what China is doing and say, this is what America Well, I'm wondering where all the outrage is when they were doing their anti-Nike campaigns.

03:45:29.000 I mean, when they were doing their stuff about, oh, let's eliminate sweatshops.

03:45:31.000 They hated China, right?

03:45:32.000 What about now?

03:45:33.000 Do those sweatshops all of a sudden vanish into thin air like they're whistleblowers?

03:45:38.000 Why is there no outrage over the sweatshops?

03:45:40.000 They're still in China!

03:45:42.000 You're fighting for a living wage here?

03:45:43.000 You're saying that Americans shouldn't go back to work because they're not paid enough?

03:45:47.000 How about you speak out for China?

03:45:48.000 But you're carrying the water for the government who, I don't know, someone can fact-check me, I assume, compared to American standards, pennies a day.

03:45:55.000 What's the average minimum wage in China?

03:45:56.000 A couple bucks.

03:45:57.000 I think it's two baths.

03:45:58.000 Two baths?

03:46:01.000 That's a bad idea.

03:46:02.000 And a mean cup of thin soup.

03:46:06.000 Let's remember, here in this country we can go out, find great sponsors like Black Rifle Coffee and pandas, the national animal of my country.

03:46:15.000 I don't like them.

03:46:16.000 I know you don't. 1.00

03:46:17.000 I don't like any species of animal that you have to convince that thoroughly to fuck. 1.00

03:46:23.000 Don't trust him. 1.00

03:46:24.000 You can't get it done.

03:46:26.000 You can't have any freedoms.

03:46:27.000 You can't have any facts.

03:46:28.000 You can't have any news.

03:46:29.000 Unless it goes through the filter.

03:46:31.000 It's against biology.

03:46:33.000 We do have a 10-10 picture.

03:46:34.000 There it is!

03:46:37.000 That is it!

03:46:38.000 Oh, come on! 0.99

03:46:39.000 And they're both members of the Aryan Brotherhood. 0.95

03:46:43.000 Oh my gosh.

03:46:44.000 That's really close.

03:46:45.000 All right, let me hear what he has to say.

03:46:46.000 He's a little Ed Grimley.

03:46:47.000 And then once they go to the break, we'll come back and we'll do a three-minute challenge with Chris Cuomo, but I want to hear him really good.

03:46:51.000 How to do this the right way to balance these interests with mayors of three of America's largest cities, Atlanta, San Antonio, and San Diego, all at the same time.

03:47:03.000 Let's have a conversation.

03:47:04.000 You know, it doesn't have to be a tit-for-tat all the time.

03:47:06.000 Let's all get together, same table, same boxes.

03:47:10.000 So you're wrong.

03:47:11.000 Romantic in one place and what they have is questions for each other.

03:47:16.000 So one thing I will say, and we'll go to a quick, if we have a short commercial break we can go to, this guy pisses me off too.

03:47:22.000 This guy all of a sudden for some reason, you know, he doesn't care about human rights abuses but he gets mad when a sea turtle shows up in a six-pack plastic ring.

03:47:29.000 So when you talk about your relative in mainland China being, who would be a far leftist in the United States but a threat to China, this is also why I think a lot of people, when conservatives absolve themselves when they talk about immigration, and listen, all illegal immigration, stop.

03:47:43.000 But then when we talk about legal immigration, a lot of these people are more conservative than they realize.

03:47:48.000 So she might be fiscally liberal. 0.91

03:47:50.000 She might see herself as more left because she's in the face of a Chinese communist government. 0.93

03:47:55.000 But when she comes to the United States, it's pretty easy with a lot of... And this is to everyone out there, by the way.

03:47:59.000 And let me clarify.

03:48:00.000 That's what she was.

03:48:02.000 Right.

03:48:02.000 Before she went there.

03:48:03.000 Right.

03:48:03.000 Because then realizing what the actual enacting of those policies would look like.

03:48:09.000 Right.

03:48:09.000 If you take the logical extension of, look everyone, we need to have the power to be able to keep you in your homes at any moment, no matter whether you say you can or you can't.

03:48:19.000 We need to tell you, if you want to know what the facts are, you can only get one source and it's the WHO.

03:48:24.000 Are you talking about Michigan or are you talking about China?

03:48:27.000 Well, I was trying to... I lost track.

03:48:33.000 By the way, I use Freshly.

03:48:34.000 They're not a sponsor.

03:48:35.000 And their food is... Eh, take it or leave it.

03:48:37.000 But it's convenient.

03:48:37.000 That's a live read.

03:48:40.000 They don't run.

03:48:43.000 I was going to say, I was like, is the roombook picking up the freshly?

03:48:46.000 We'll choose to take it.

03:48:47.000 But a lot of those people, so they come here and they think that they're left because there really is no, you know, I come from Quebec, for example.

03:48:52.000 We really only had the Liberal Party in Quebec and Liberal separatists, right?

03:48:55.000 We really didn't have a conservative bloc in Quebec, not a significant one anyway.

03:48:59.000 And that's a lot of these countries.

03:49:00.000 their conservative would really be our Democrats.

03:49:03.000 But once people like your relative, they come to the United States 0.94

03:49:05.000 and they see themselves as more left, it's not that hard.

03:49:08.000 This is a call to action for everyone out there who has immigrant friends

03:49:11.000 or friends who are part of a minority class that would typically be considered

03:49:15.000 a part of the voting block for Democrats.

03:49:17.000 It doesn't take super long to show them that economic authoritarianism is inextricably tied

03:49:25.000 to authoritarianism, period, to the silencing of dissent.

03:49:28.000 Listen, people like Chris Cuomo, I joke about this, but people like Governor Whitmer,

03:49:33.000 people like Anderson Cooper, they mock.

03:49:36.000 Americans who just don't want to be locked at home against their will indefinitely.

03:49:41.000 The Americans out there who are protesting, and let's get rid of the statistics, which of course CNN has been wrong about it every single turn, and so has the World Health Organization.

03:49:49.000 They want to talk about emotion.

03:49:50.000 They want to talk about the spirit.

03:49:52.000 The spirit of these Americans is they just want an answer.

03:49:55.000 They want to go back to work.

03:49:57.000 They want to provide for their families, and they're crapped on by these people who live in New York City and Washington DC and Los Angeles, and they make millions of dollars.

03:50:06.000 For wanting to go back to work, and not only are they crapped on personally with all of these effectively video op-eds when they're not running chyrons of Aryan Brotherhood tweets, but they're crapped on because these broadcasters call governments, it's a call to arm for governments to lock down these people's freedoms and ensure that they don't have the right to protest, that they don't have the right to go to work, that the government has to step in and say, when you open there has to be a new normal and you can only have 25% capacity.

03:50:34.000 It's not that hard to present that, and people who flee governments that were acting very similarly, be it China, be it Mozambique, be it Quebec, with the language police.

03:50:44.000 When I was in Quebec, I couldn't open Stephen's Apostrophe S Diner without being fined or facing jail time if it wasn't of larger font in French.

03:50:54.000 It's not that hard to convince these people, hey listen, if you don't want the kind of government that you fled, Then don't vote Democrat.

03:51:01.000 And they get it.

03:51:02.000 They almost always get it.

03:51:04.000 Yeah, absolutely.

03:51:05.000 And by the way, government, if you're out there listening, we love the people in it,

03:51:08.000 but you have only the power that we give to you, right?

03:51:12.000 That's the whole bargain that we made.

03:51:13.000 We said we would let you have power.

03:51:14.000 I wish that were true.

03:51:15.000 That's how it's supposed to be.

03:51:16.000 That's the bargain that we made.

03:51:17.000 We said we would let you have...

03:51:18.000 So when people rise up against what they believe to be tyrannical decisions, don't be surprised.

03:51:24.000 Because God forbid people get together and say, look, I have the personal responsibility.

03:51:28.000 We are not, what we know for sure, we are not facing the 1918 flu pandemic.

03:51:33.000 We're not facing something that has a 10, 20, 30 percent mortality.

03:51:35.000 We're facing worse.

03:51:36.000 Chris Cuomo with a segment stinger that just said, let's get after it.

03:51:40.000 So let's see what he has to say.

03:51:41.000 We're not facing that.

03:51:42.000 Come on, 1010.

03:51:43.000 So tonight, we decided to do something a little bit different, okay?

03:51:46.000 Let's try to really get together here, all right?

03:51:50.000 We have the mayors from around the country, three of our biggest cities, different parties.

03:51:56.000 Let them compare notes.

03:51:57.000 Let them talk.

03:51:57.000 I basically just want to give them my show's time.

03:51:59.000 See what happens.

03:51:59.000 Have a Zoom conversation.

03:52:04.000 There's a man in this?

03:52:05.000 got his aviators gone. Obviously, the mayor of Atlanta.

03:52:09.000 Okay. Ron Nuremberg. Well, and Kevin Faulkner, San Diego. Welcome

03:52:15.000 each and all how we doing? So which one of those do we know which one of those is a conservative Republican? Red

03:52:22.000 Bandit? All right. First of all, thank you for taking the opportunity. And I mean what I said, less me more you a

03:52:29.000 good Thank God.

03:52:30.000 That's something we can all agree with.

03:52:32.000 That's just a celebratory drink.

03:52:34.000 A celebratory drink.

03:52:34.000 It's going on in Atlanta, which had nothing to do with the mayor, right?

03:52:39.000 The governor did not care about it.

03:52:40.000 Is this Reg the Bandit?

03:52:41.000 Reg the Bandit, which one of them is a conservative Republican, if any?

03:52:45.000 Uh, Kevin Falconer is the mayor of San Diego, is a Republican.

03:52:50.000 That doesn't surprise me because they have Camp Pendleton right near them.

03:52:53.000 Which was the other one?

03:52:55.000 This is where the rubber meets the road, right?

03:52:58.000 Antonio. Okay. Well, thanks, Chris. Thanks for having us.

03:53:02.000 Okay. San Diego is speaking.

03:53:04.000 You can just pop, you can pop back in later there. Reggie banded. I appreciate you operating

03:53:08.000 under a mask. Thank you. Right. And when we're talking about businesses and reopening businesses,

03:53:15.000 they're in our cities. And so our ability to not only clearly communicate, but our ability to say,

03:53:23.000 here's the rules of the road that we're going to establish when we're ready to reopen.

03:53:28.000 I think is one of the most important things that all of us as mayors are working on right now.

03:53:33.000 To really set that criteria, to communicate that criteria, because as you have talked about, people are ready to get back to work.

03:53:41.000 But people want to do it safely.

03:53:43.000 And so one of the things that we're really working with is how do we interact keeping small businesses going right now.

03:53:51.000 One of the things that we've been doing in San Diego is our small business relief fund and really ensuring that we have that foundation for businesses to actually have a job to go back to.

03:54:00.000 And that is I mean, you get a lot of talk about Washington relief, you know, in Sacramento and, you know, in California, but our revenue comes from a strong economy.

03:54:13.000 And so that's incredibly important for the mayor.

03:54:16.000 As you know, the services, police, fire, trash, paper, water.

03:54:21.000 So we're all, all of us as mayors.

03:54:22.000 are really seeing that downward trend in revenue. So we want to get back to work,

03:54:26.000 but we want to do it safely. We want to do it with confidence, and we want to do it by data-driven

03:54:32.000 and with our health professionals. That's really what I've been trying to stress here in San Diego.

03:54:36.000 All right, I got you, Mr. Mayor, on the hypothetical side of how you want to set it up.

03:54:40.000 So, going from Mr. Mayor to Madam Mayor, uh, the reality, uh, that you're seeing Mayor Bottoms in terms of, uh, putting out a message, uh, having it resonate with people.

03:54:54.000 He gave an argument saying we want to do it, we want to do it safely, we want it to be data-driven.

03:54:58.000 If we have to rewind the tape, he said we want it to be data-driven.

03:55:01.000 Then Chris Cuomo, less of me, more of you, Mr. Cuomo says, okay Mr. Republican, we get your hypothetical.

03:55:09.000 Atlanta, D next to your name, can you give us the reality? 1.00

03:55:13.000 This is the liberal bias by omission that people don't understand there, because Chris Cuomo isn't saying something mind-numbingly stupid. 0.88

03:55:21.000 He just discredited everything this guy said by acting as though it's hypothetical, but everything she's about to say is God's nectar to Chris Cuomo's little, ironically, wrestler-like ears, even though he's never seen a day of combat. 0.91

03:55:38.000 Well, that's not true.

03:55:40.000 He fights everyone.

03:55:41.000 That's true.

03:55:43.000 Particularly if they're windmills.

03:55:45.000 Do I just step on a cord and ruin it?

03:55:48.000 No, you're good.

03:55:49.000 You're good.

03:55:49.000 Oh, that's her.

03:55:50.000 Oh, okay.

03:55:50.000 some semblance of normalcy.

03:55:53.000 And as the mayor just said, it's about finding something for people to get back to.

03:56:00.000 Please explain to us the reality, mayor who doesn't know how to use headphones

03:56:03.000 on national television.

03:56:05.000 That corporations and small businesses are balancing their votes as well.

03:56:09.000 It's because she's fiddling with the headphones.

03:56:12.000 How funny would it be if Chris Cuomo called her Vivian from Fresh Prince right now?

03:56:17.000 Viv!

03:56:19.000 I see Ron Nuremberg shaking his head.

03:56:22.000 San Antonio, Texas, obviously, meeting the wave of aggressive reopening there. 0.85

03:56:27.000 I'm not going to saddle you with what you, Lieutenant Governor, said, that there are more important things in life than living, which was one of the most ridiculous things I've ever heard in my life.

03:56:34.000 You've said nothing like that. 1.00

03:56:35.000 Why is that stupid? 1.00

03:56:42.000 A man who isn't willing to die for anything is a man who is living for nothing. 1.00

03:56:47.000 Like values, morality, freedom, liberty?

03:56:51.000 Would you be willing to give this day to that?

03:56:55.000 To come back to this field?

03:56:56.000 I'm just kidding.

03:56:57.000 No!

03:56:59.000 No!

03:56:59.000 We want to go home!

03:57:00.000 Ron, tell us!

03:57:01.000 The button on the top of my shirt is broken, but I'm here on national TV.

03:57:04.000 I leave it open on purpose.

03:57:05.000 They may take our COVID.

03:57:07.000 The button on the top of my shirt is broken, but I'm here on national TV.

03:57:11.000 I leave it open on purpose.

03:57:13.000 And the guidance from our public health officials about when it's safe to reopen.

03:57:18.000 And it's a challenge.

03:57:19.000 Same health officials who said 2.2 million dead, by the way.

03:57:21.000 I know our state government, I know Mayor Bottoms is dealing with that.

03:57:23.000 And a four to seven percent death rate.

03:57:24.000 A lot.

03:57:25.000 We've had that as well here with a reopening in Texas that really defies the gating criteria

03:57:31.000 that public health officials have universally accepted as the right time to open.

03:57:36.000 But the success of our efforts here in San Antonio with flattening the curve Not really.

03:57:41.000 Flattening the curve was never about limiting the spread of the virus.

03:57:43.000 Flattening the curve was referring to not overburdening our hospital systems.

03:57:46.000 Flattening the curve was never about limiting the spread of the virus.

03:57:53.000 Flattening the curve was referring to not overburdening our hospital systems.

03:58:00.000 If there is 1% of the population who could transmit the virus, the virus will spread.

03:58:07.000 People don't understand what they're watching.

03:58:10.000 Either you have to lock down everyone and the entire economy until it's down to 0%, which would be impossible, and by the way, no one is advocating, or flattening the curve was about making sure that our hospitals could keep up with treating the virus appropriately.

03:58:29.000 By the way, Chris Cuomo's a prick who wants open borders.

03:58:31.000 65% of Americans are against it.

03:58:33.000 Outside of Democrats, every single cross-section, we can bring this up as an overlay from Red to the Research Bandit, every single cross-section, you look at Republicans, Independents, different demographics are like, yeah, we should close down the borders right now.

03:58:44.000 Only Democrats are split on it.

03:58:46.000 That mayors are uniquely qualified to address and it's an aspect that's going to affect all of us.

03:58:54.000 So we're going to take it to a personal level.

03:58:56.000 Let's keep the mayors. 1.00

03:58:57.000 Please come back.

03:58:58.000 I just want to make one point.

03:58:59.000 Please.

03:59:00.000 It was hilarious.

03:59:01.000 Yes.

03:59:02.000 Just one point.

03:59:03.000 Please.

03:59:03.000 Thank you, Wade.

03:59:04.000 Please come back.

03:59:07.000 Greg Abbott said the other day, the governor of Texas, when he announced the reopening, somebody said, well, what about these county commissioners and these city mayors saying that you have to have a mask out in public and you can't?

03:59:17.000 He goes, none of that matters.

03:59:22.000 I will not let anybody be given a ticket.

03:59:25.000 I will not let anybody be arrested and detained and have any legal ramifications from somebody taking actions, and I'm paraphrasing obviously, somebody taking actions that go against what I just said.

03:59:35.000 And what I just said is that these people can open up at 25% capacity Eat it.

03:59:41.000 He didn't say that last part, but he should have.

03:59:43.000 It would have been a good thing to stick the landing.

03:59:44.000 No, he did.

03:59:45.000 It was in reference to restaurants.

03:59:46.000 Yeah, yeah.

03:59:46.000 I smoked with a police officer today.

03:59:49.000 I need food.

03:59:50.000 We have to go on a break soon.

03:59:52.000 Oh, we do?

03:59:52.000 We don't have to go on a break.

03:59:53.000 Yes, we do.

03:59:54.000 Why do we have to go on a break?

03:59:55.000 Because I have to pee.

03:59:57.000 Well, can someone take over?

03:59:58.000 Somebody get a bottle for him.

03:59:59.000 I'll take over the TriCaster.

04:00:01.000 Let me do it.

04:00:01.000 Can Wuhan Batman take over the TriCaster?

04:00:04.000 Because we only have 20 minutes.

04:00:05.000 We do literally have to take that break, though.

04:00:07.000 Oh, OK.

04:00:07.000 All right.

04:00:08.000 How long is the break?

04:00:08.000 Or you can just talk about Black Rifle for a little bit.

04:00:11.000 Yeah, there you go.

04:00:12.000 No, but not if he has to pee.

04:00:13.000 Yeah, I do have to pee really bad.

04:00:15.000 On the Black Rifle coffee, does it soak it up?

04:00:18.000 Yeah, I will tell you this.

04:00:18.000 All right.

04:00:20.000 I forgot my point, but really the point I should have been making is BlackRifleCoffee.com slash Crowder.

04:00:26.000 Entering promo code Crowder.

04:00:28.000 It tastes good and it does the body good.

04:00:31.000 20% off your first order.

04:00:36.000 How many tens of thousands of bags of coffee did they give away?

04:00:39.000 Many thousands. 0.99

04:00:41.000 They put Tom's to shame and you don't have to buy shitty shoes. 0.98

04:00:45.000 Al, there's a rock. 0.97

04:00:46.000 Roman centurions had better shoes than Toms. 0.98

04:00:51.000 What's this?

04:00:51.000 Oh, that's right!

04:00:52.000 I haven't tried this yet.

04:00:54.000 This is the new Black Rifle.

04:00:55.000 We just got it in today.

04:00:57.000 This is their new cold brew.

04:00:58.000 I think it's their cold brew can.

04:01:00.000 So they have a couple of flavors.

04:01:01.000 This is just espresso with cream.

04:01:03.000 Don't open it, please.

04:01:03.000 Well, I'm looking at the ingredient profile here, actually.

04:01:06.000 This is nice, actually, if you look at the sugars compared to a lot of the other ones out there.

04:01:10.000 So this is from Black Rifle.

04:01:11.000 If you want to get a pre-made cold brew, that's not really my thing, but my dad loves cold brew because it doesn't irritate his stomach as much because, you know, it doesn't have the same kind of chlorogenic acid.

04:01:20.000 So BlackRifleCoffee.com slash Crowder. 0.66

04:01:23.000 And I think you can buy... Can you buy the cold brew on the site yet?

04:01:26.000 It just came out.

04:01:27.000 If you can't right now, you can very shortly.

04:01:30.000 Okay, if you can't right now, my personal recommendation, I love the vintage blend, that's my favorite, and I like the AK-47, if you do espresso at home, for pour over, I love the gun, I think it's called Gunship Roast.

04:01:43.000 I'm a coffee snob, I've had the best coffees in the world, I went to, you know, I took you to that coffee, which you didn't like, you don't like coffee.

04:01:49.000 I just, I can't.

04:01:49.000 Where I did all these flights of coffee, and I will tell you, I would put those up there, with any of them, but far more reasonably priced, and they're veteran owned and operated, they support veteran causes.

04:01:58.000 I just realized Wuhan Batman came in, gave me the can, and left, and Garrett's about to piss his pants like he's driving for a lover to NASA.

04:02:07.000 What if we do this?

04:02:07.000 What if we just bring up CNN when they come back from commercial and he can just step out for a second while that's out?

04:02:12.000 But I will say one thing.

04:02:13.000 That's our break.

04:02:14.000 We can't forget that tonight at midnight Central Time, 1159, we end the drawing for our grand prize giveaway.

04:02:23.000 So if you are thinking about it, Oh, you love it.

04:02:28.000 You love it.

04:02:29.000 You love it.

04:02:33.000 Oh, it's stock food.

04:02:33.000 Stock food.

04:02:34.000 It's fine.

04:02:35.000 Puppies.

04:02:36.000 Puppies.

04:02:36.000 Okay, okay.

04:02:37.000 It's puppies.

04:02:37.000 You're fine.

04:02:38.000 It's alright, buddy.

04:02:39.000 You're back.

04:02:40.000 So, our grand prize giveaway.

04:02:42.000 If you're a Mug Club member at $11.59, you sign up for Mug Club.

04:02:46.000 You can also go to crowder.com slash giveaway.

04:02:50.000 If you want a no-purchase necessary, see the official rules.

04:02:53.000 Voidware prohibited.

04:02:54.000 I'm here.

04:02:55.000 I'm lawyering you.

04:02:56.000 China.

04:02:58.000 China.

04:03:01.000 I am so excited.

04:03:04.000 We've given away so many prizes for our Mug Clubbers. 0.93

04:03:06.000 They've supported us so much.

04:03:08.000 Black Flag Rifle's supporting us.

04:03:09.000 But here's the thing. 0.58

04:03:10.000 We're going to have one of y'all in the friggin' studio.

04:03:13.000 Two, with a guest. 0.70

04:03:14.000 With a guest, yes.

04:03:15.000 I already peed my pants.

04:03:17.000 Three minutes.

04:03:18.000 We'll just be silent for three minutes.

04:03:19.000 Bring this up. 1.00

04:03:20.000 Garrett, go take your crap. 0.99

04:03:21.000 Somebody get the mic in the bathroom for Garrett to pee. 1.00

04:03:23.000 It's like a league of their own.

04:03:25.000 Just set it up with us in a little box in the corner.

04:03:27.000 Can you reverse it?

04:03:28.000 Switch it and reverse it.

04:03:32.000 Done and go.

04:03:32.000 Go, go, go, go, go.

04:03:33.000 Look at this.

04:03:35.000 I'm pop walking.

04:03:36.000 All right.

04:03:37.000 Three minutes.

04:03:39.000 Silence challenge starting.

04:03:41.000 Three minutes.

04:03:42.000 Three minutes.

04:03:42.000 Here we go.

04:03:44.000 Georgia has already opened in parts that affect Atlanta, to be sure.

04:03:50.000 So, what I'm hinting at about daily life are really two main things for people that live in major cities like your own, okay?

04:03:58.000 You got mass transportation.

04:04:01.000 And then you got the big one that nobody wants to touch.

04:04:04.000 Schools.

04:04:05.000 And we know why.

04:04:06.000 We know why the president, we know why nobody, governor, wants to talk about schools.

04:04:10.000 Because you get it wrong with schools, you're going to pay a political price that's going to be hard to survive.

04:04:15.000 So Georgia and Texas, school is closed.

04:04:18.000 California, you guys are figuring out what to do with the rest of the year.

04:04:21.000 It's closed right now.

04:04:22.000 But starting with you, Mayor Bottoms, the idea of school, And reopening.

04:04:28.000 You can't reopen an economy and get people back to work if their kids aren't back in school because they won't be able to leave the house.

04:04:34.000 Nobody can take care of the kids, especially in the populations that you guys represent. 1.00

04:04:38.000 How do you deal with that?

04:04:40.000 I'll just give you another layer to that, Chris.

04:04:43.000 In Georgia, there are independently run school boards.

04:04:47.000 Most of them are not controlled by the mayor, separate school entities.

04:04:52.000 And so when we were at the beginning of this pandemic, our governor deferred to local control and local leadership and decision making as to when to shut down schools.

04:05:05.000 So that being said, I don't know what the governor will do as it relates to the schools of this coming fall.

04:05:12.000 I know that the Board of Regents has already announced that they anticipate that college campuses will be open.

04:05:19.000 That's going to be very interesting.

04:05:21.000 I think, again, that's driven by economics.

04:05:24.000 Because you're going to have young adults living in close proximity and congregate living spaces, which is what we actually don't want in the middle of a pandemic.

04:05:36.000 And so we'll see where we are.

04:05:38.000 There's been a big push for us to get laptops and tablets and broadband connection out to all of our students.

04:05:47.000 So hopefully we'll be prepared for whatever the fall looks like.

04:05:52.000 But Ron, Mayor Nirenberg, what I'm talking about, obviously the specific application is, we're getting a little break on school right now because we're getting close to the summer.

04:06:01.000 But if Texas moves as aggressively as it wants to, economically, getting people back to work, where are their kids going to go?

04:06:07.000 Still got another month or so to deal with.

04:06:10.000 That's right.

04:06:11.000 And I have an 11-year-old at home, so I know that very well.

04:06:15.000 Um, you know, we have been working through childcare options for essential workers since this began a couple of months ago.

04:06:21.000 And so we have opportunities for childcare, even as Texas begins to open up.

04:06:26.000 But that is a big challenge.

04:06:28.000 And one of the reasons why I think there was a push by some of the essential workers in the medical community not to

04:06:33.000 close schools down Because you begin to close schools down, you lose-

04:06:37.000 What about summer?

04:06:39.000 Where are people going to work?

04:06:41.000 Summer! Yeah, it's weird.

04:06:44.000 How is that even humanly possible?

04:06:46.000 It's almost like the idea of complementarianism and having one parent who stays at home as opposed to having them

04:06:51.000 raised by some kind of daycare from the nanny state might be more conducive to a more productive child in less

04:06:56.000 adulthood!

04:06:57.000 I hate my life so much.

04:06:59.000 What happened to summer?

04:07:01.000 You're talking about one month.

04:07:04.000 You can't put your kids in front of the Nintendo for one month?

04:07:08.000 You hate them that much?

04:07:13.000 Just give him Breath of the Wild.

04:07:14.000 Sorry, I'm letting this stroke pass.

04:07:17.000 What's the rule on my life insurance policy with the suicide if it's due to Chris Cuomo?

04:07:23.000 I think there's a caveat.

04:07:24.000 They arrest him and sue him.

04:07:27.000 That's enumerated?

04:07:28.000 Let me tell you something real quick.

04:07:30.000 I'm glad that the mayor of San Antonio spoke about this.

04:07:34.000 I have an almost two-year-old son.

04:07:36.000 He's in daycare.

04:07:37.000 My wife and I both work.

04:07:39.000 Obviously it's harder to have them at home.

04:07:41.000 We have some family that's helping, so that's nice.

04:07:43.000 But I have people who work for me who are single parents or even dual parents with dual incomes,

04:07:50.000 and they have kids, multiple kids, and it's a real tough time.

04:07:54.000 They're making it work.

04:07:55.000 We're adapting.

04:07:55.000 We're working less, but still obviously paying and doing all the things we can do.

04:08:00.000 Our daycare was open because they serve so many essential workers.

04:08:05.000 And the last thing he said there was, remember, the essential workers were pushing to keep the schools and daycares open.

04:08:12.000 So again, I guess we don't listen to doctors anymore, according to Susan Wojcicki.

04:08:16.000 But the reality is, The kids are among the safest populations.

04:08:21.000 Again, not to say that some won't get it, that it's not a risk, that it's not a problem.

04:08:25.000 More transmission, we get it.

04:08:26.000 But when we go, oh, it's just...

04:08:28.000 Hold on a second.

04:08:29.000 Look, her Skype is freezing so she looks like Boy George.

04:08:31.000 Yeah.

04:08:32.000 Okay, continue.

04:08:33.000 If we're saying, oh, it's just economic reasons, people are literally dying from these economic

04:08:40.000 conditions.

04:08:42.000 And if we ignore that, we are complacent with what's happening.

04:08:46.000 So here's the thing, too.

04:08:47.000 Remember this.

04:08:48.000 This is three and a half months from now that they talk about the schools opening back up in the fall.

04:08:53.000 What are they going to do there?

04:08:54.000 And Donald Trump better get... Are you telling me that in three and a half months, this whole thing that you've been telling us, we just need a few more weeks to flatten the curve.

04:09:00.000 We just need a few more weeks to get out from under this.

04:09:02.000 In three and a half months, we're not going to get there?

04:09:04.000 When will we ever get there?

04:09:04.000 They will do everything in their power to try and keep schools from opening.

04:09:08.000 Yeah, absolutely!

04:09:09.000 And create chaos!

04:09:09.000 We'll hold town halls with heads of Harvard who are saying that homeschooling is a threat to national security.

04:09:15.000 They will do everything they can.

04:09:16.000 They're looking at the stock market roaring back right now.

04:09:19.000 They understand the fuse that is lit in people who want to get back to work.

04:09:22.000 I don't know if you remember this.

04:09:23.000 Bill Gates said this.

04:09:25.000 Actually, I think it was in the interview that I sent to you, Reg, earlier today.

04:09:28.000 CNN.

04:09:28.000 I think it was March 31st with Bill Gates where he said, You know, we can't bring it up as a clip, but people can go and watch it.

04:09:35.000 It was with Sanjay Gupta and Anderson Cooper and their little three... Don't go back and watch that.

04:09:39.000 Don't do it.

04:09:40.000 You know, I don't know that even if you do reopen the economy, I mean, you can tell people that they can reopen their restaurant, but people aren't going to want to.

04:09:40.000 Don't do it.

04:09:49.000 Again, that's the professional, that's the expert.

04:09:52.000 People right now are protesting to be able to reopen their business.

04:09:56.000 They've been wrong on every single front, and that's because not only do these people want to be able to make a living, not only do these people not want to starve and they want to put food on the table, but they want to do it themselves.

04:10:09.000 A lot of these people could collect a check But instead, they want to earn a check and they're being crapped on.

04:10:17.000 Restaurants are getting phone calls in the state of Texas because Friday is when they can open back up at 25%.

04:10:22.000 We are opening back up our tasting room at 25% capacity.

04:10:26.000 We sold out in a day.

04:10:28.000 Because we set it up as an event.

04:10:29.000 We can only have so many people. 0.99

04:10:30.000 I just hope you stop serving 25% crap. 0.99

04:10:32.000 No. 1.00

04:10:33.000 Take the bare foot off your shelves, son of a bitch. 1.00

04:10:36.000 You know I'm a fine wine shop. 1.00

04:10:37.000 Don't you dare.

04:10:39.000 Don't you dare. 1.00

04:10:39.000 Hey, in Gerald's defense, it's all crap. 1.00

04:10:42.000 No, Gerald actually got me some wine. 0.99

04:10:42.000 No, I'm kidding. 0.99

04:10:44.000 It was amazing.

04:10:45.000 Gerald's an unbelievable sommelier.

04:10:47.000 I will say this.

04:10:49.000 Is there anywhere you can keep people?

04:10:51.000 It's more of a local business, really.

04:10:52.000 No, we ship all over the country.

04:10:52.000 Yeah.

04:10:53.000 He doesn't teach you wine.

04:10:54.000 Where do they go?

04:10:55.000 Simplifiedwine.com.

04:10:56.000 Simplifiedwine.com.

04:10:57.000 I mean, if only he was as good at jokes.

04:11:00.000 Yeah, I choose to focus my efforts on, I guess, wine.

04:11:03.000 I don't know.

04:11:04.000 I will say, I don't like wine, and he found, what was it, the Gunlock Bunshaw that you found?

04:11:07.000 Gunlock Bunshoe Mountain Cuvée.

04:11:08.000 They're going to love it.

04:11:09.000 I loved it, yeah. 0.99

04:11:10.000 Let's see what Chris Gomez has to say and how dumb it is. 0.98

04:11:10.000 Okay, hold on. 0.98

04:11:13.000 We're great because we are good.

04:11:15.000 We are good to one another.

04:11:17.000 And I want to show you that because I'm doing right with our Americans right after this.

04:11:23.000 I want to show you how good we could be.

04:11:25.000 It just cuts to helmet footage from the bicycle rider.

04:11:29.000 I got your bicycle right here!

04:11:32.000 Quarantine my yay! 1.00

04:11:34.000 Somebody stay between us so I don't have to look like this.

04:11:37.000 Hasn't he been telling us for four years that we shouldn't make America great?

04:11:40.000 Now he's saying, no, no, no, we're great because we treat each other right, but we treat each other right by, you know, fascist lockdowns and keeping people from making a living and making sure that they can't survive.

04:11:51.000 I forgot, this is the Asian Rosacea Challenge.

04:11:51.000 Okay, hold on a second.

04:11:54.000 Oh, wow.

04:11:55.000 You didn't drink much tonight, because you're not red like you were that morning. 1.00

04:11:58.000 He's red!

04:11:58.000 He looks red to me!

04:11:59.000 I was working on it.

04:12:00.000 I've been pounding this wild turkey, but see, the problem is I was also drinking Black Rifle coffee in the can.

04:12:06.000 Oh, wow.

04:12:06.000 I think that I sabotaged myself.

04:12:08.000 Well, I think doing lines of Coke actually counteracts the alcohol.

04:12:10.000 Your parasympathetic nervous system doesn't know what to do with you right now.

04:12:13.000 Is it fight or flight?

04:12:15.000 Fight!

04:12:15.000 No, fight!

04:12:16.000 No, flight! 0.98

04:12:16.000 Flight! 0.98

04:12:17.000 What'd I stop?

04:12:19.000 Look at the camera.

04:12:20.000 I might want to rematch with Bill.

04:12:23.000 Both of you look at the camera.

04:12:24.000 You know what, here.

04:12:25.000 You go ahead and take my seat, Goebbels.

04:12:27.000 Under lights.

04:12:28.000 Oh yeah, you gotta see that, yeah.

04:12:30.000 No, as opposed to that morning on Good Morning Mod Club.

04:12:32.000 Yeah, and we do have the before picture here as well.

04:12:35.000 OK.

04:12:35.000 Before picture, let me see this.

04:12:37.000 Now back.

04:12:39.000 He does both.

04:12:40.000 I'm just naturally... Hold on.

04:12:42.000 I'm just literally naturally darker than this three-quarter white abomination, OK? 1.00

04:12:48.000 Yeah, Gibbon's got those bags.

04:12:50.000 Look at those eyes.

04:12:51.000 They're like a doll's. 1.00

04:12:52.000 Don't be shit-talking the three-quarter whites. 1.00

04:12:54.000 Those are my people. 1.00

04:12:57.000 Sometimes half-Asian go away. 1.00

04:12:59.000 Sometimes Asian go away. 0.99

04:13:01.000 Oh my gosh, I'm wearing this shirt!

04:13:04.000 I do look like Quint right now!

04:13:05.000 I have the beard!

04:13:06.000 There you go!

04:13:06.000 This is basically the Quint outfit.

04:13:08.000 Perfect!

04:13:09.000 Because back then I didn't have sideburns, or my rockabilly hairdo.

04:13:12.000 Yeah, you just need the hat.

04:13:13.000 Speak up!

04:13:14.000 You just need the hat.

04:13:15.000 You're Quint.

04:13:16.000 Bye, gerbils.

04:13:18.000 One of the best parodies we've done.

04:13:22.000 I know half the people here have to go.

04:13:24.000 I'm so mad at Chris Cuomo.

04:13:25.000 It's like anger fuel where I could just keep going.

04:13:28.000 It is a great film.

04:13:29.000 It is.

04:13:30.000 Fantastic.

04:13:31.000 One of the best parodies we've done.

04:13:32.000 Here's the thing.

04:13:33.000 I know half the people here have to go.

04:13:35.000 I just like, I'm so mad at Chris Cuomo.

04:13:37.000 It's like anger fuel where I could just keep going.

04:13:39.000 I do.

04:13:40.000 I am really happy though that we made the decision to stick around for Chris because

04:13:45.000 He is.

04:13:46.000 He really is. 0.92

04:13:47.000 Him and Skelter are the worst. 0.78

04:13:48.000 I feel bad.

04:13:49.000 Him and Skelter are the worst, but I'm not going to waste a weekend.

04:13:51.000 So Chris is the best.

04:13:52.000 Anderson's been worse as far as boring, but Chris has been worse as far as infuriating.

04:13:57.000 I'll send him my address and a pair of gloves.

04:14:02.000 Hey, can I issue a quick apology?

04:14:04.000 What?

04:14:05.000 I'm really sorry, guys.

04:14:06.000 I threw that gif that we just did.

04:14:10.000 But it was the closest thing, and I was like, I don't want to throw the mug at Gerald's head.

04:14:14.000 Again.

04:14:14.000 So I'm really sorry, but it just, you know.

04:14:16.000 You know how long it took for louder to come out of my skin?

04:14:18.000 It's vinyl.

04:14:19.000 It's all good.

04:14:19.000 I got an update from the studio crew.

04:14:21.000 I actually might have beat Bill, because they said that my legs were beat red.

04:14:24.000 Oh, really?

04:14:25.000 So maybe it transformed my head to red.

04:14:26.000 Oh, they are pretty red.

04:14:27.000 I can't go down there.

04:14:30.000 What is that?

04:14:31.000 What was that?

04:14:31.000 Yeah, look at how red those are!

04:14:33.000 Did you get summer?

04:14:34.000 Those varicose veins, man!

04:14:35.000 What, do you have diabetes?

04:14:36.000 Get some compression socks on!

04:14:38.000 Hey, listen, you're still a good skinny Louis C.K.

04:14:42.000 I think I'm 2 for 2.

04:14:44.000 You are 2 for 2.

04:14:44.000 Okay, you guys let us know who won.

04:14:47.000 We haven't read any chats.

04:14:48.000 Wait, are you good at driving and making railroads?

04:14:52.000 It can't take all your jobs.

04:14:53.000 What we have here is a failure to intoxicate!

04:14:58.000 Can I ask you guys a question?

04:15:02.000 What is the thing that you're most excited about?

04:15:04.000 Knowing that, you know, we're in Texas and other states.

04:15:07.000 Fighting Chris Cuomo.

04:15:07.000 Okay, yes, that would be great.

04:15:09.000 You know he's going to choose to do it on the deck of a battleship, which, you know, may be off the coast of Texas.

04:15:14.000 Can we do it on the USS Comfort?

04:15:15.000 Yes!

04:15:17.000 Because we know they have a lot of empty space.

04:15:19.000 And just a ring of COVID patients.

04:15:22.000 And if you get too close to the edge, they cough on you.

04:15:25.000 He's going to be the Roberto Duran of on-air broadcaster fights, only without the winning record.

04:15:32.000 So what are you excited to get reopened?

04:15:34.000 I mean everyone I talk to who is not just like ready to like bury themselves has said either they've admitted that they are going to take advantage of the fact that more businesses are open and either go to those businesses and do takeaway or something like that or carry out and other folks are like yeah I'm gonna go to it.

04:15:51.000 I mean there are local restaurants that are like I can seat a hundred people at 25% capacity because that's how much patio space we have.

04:15:58.000 This is the best weather to enjoy it.

04:15:59.000 You know, I mean, these businesses are going back, so I don't know if anyone has anything they're really looking forward to.

04:16:04.000 I will tell you what, and I have been very straightforward about this on the show in Good Morning Mug Club.

04:16:10.000 My life has been affected almost zero.

04:16:13.000 I am the Howard Hughes.

04:16:15.000 of on-air broadcasters.

04:16:18.000 We cut his nails.

04:16:19.000 I am so boring.

04:16:21.000 I stay home.

04:16:22.000 I very rarely go out.

04:16:24.000 My wife and I often, like, you know what our fun night is?

04:16:27.000 Is we're in the same room together.

04:16:28.000 We're cuddle up on the couch with Betty and I'm watching, like, reruns of Larry Sanders and she's reading a book about, like, North Korean serial killers.

04:16:37.000 That's it.

04:16:37.000 So as far as what am I looking forward to?

04:16:39.000 Leaders.

04:16:40.000 I would probably say the gym.

04:16:40.000 She's no reading that book about leaders.

04:16:42.000 She just reads nothing but like crazy.

04:16:43.000 Probably the gym and let's not name it, but the cigar lounge where I can have a steak.

04:16:50.000 Right.

04:16:50.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

04:16:51.000 That's a great place.

04:16:52.000 That's a great little spot.

04:16:53.000 What about yourself?

04:16:55.000 So I'm excited about going to some of the restaurants nearby that have been just teetering on the brink.

04:17:00.000 And they're one-off local restaurants that serve great food and have been around.

04:17:06.000 And these are the places, too, that were out there while they couldn't do seating. 0.98

04:17:11.000 They were still digging deep to serve... Holy crap! 1.00

04:17:13.000 Did you see that? 0.99

04:17:14.000 He just came back and then left.

04:17:16.000 Wow.

04:17:17.000 He came back for 30 seconds and then left.

04:17:19.000 This is why we can't fact check CNN.

04:17:21.000 Sorry, but oh my gosh.

04:17:22.000 But they've been serving people in the community, giving meals, and it's exciting to be able to support those folks again.

04:17:30.000 Also, I like to eat, so I'm going to eat.

04:17:32.000 By the way, to everyone out there, to those who do have the means, Do support your local businesses.

04:17:39.000 Do go out there.

04:17:39.000 Try and support restaurants.

04:17:40.000 Try and go to your local stores.

04:17:42.000 Tip well.

04:17:42.000 I mean, we've been doing that with even people who, like, come by the house.

04:17:46.000 Like, we have a guy who comes and does the pool stuff.

04:17:48.000 Now, that's a good example.

04:17:49.000 It's not hard to do the pool thing.

04:17:50.000 It's really not hard to keep a pool in shape.

04:17:52.000 But we know that this guy makes a living doing that, and so we have him come out once a week, and we've just tipped him a little bit extra.

04:17:57.000 So anyone out there who does have the means and is not unemployed, Please do consider.

04:18:02.000 What can you do?

04:18:03.000 You know what?

04:18:03.000 Honestly, instead of just funneling your money into a charity, it's just as useful to support your local businesses, because it's basically a charity that's self-sustaining.

04:18:12.000 You need to support your local Joe Biden.

04:18:14.000 Yeah, I know.

04:18:15.000 Joe Biden is here.

04:18:16.000 Best not to make eye contact.

04:18:18.000 I'm trying not to.

04:18:18.000 And if he lays India, it's best to just let him finish.

04:18:21.000 Oh, please, no.

04:18:23.000 Best just to let him finish.

04:18:24.000 Everyone stay seated.

04:18:25.000 We do have a couple of chats here.

04:18:28.000 And we do have more giveaways.

04:18:29.000 We do.

04:18:30.000 Plenty.

04:18:31.000 I really should have invested in better security.

04:18:34.000 These COVID cutbacks.

04:18:37.000 He's taking his place.

04:18:38.000 Oh, he's falling asleep.

04:18:39.000 That's tiring.

04:18:41.000 Is he dead?

04:18:45.000 He stopped.

04:18:46.000 Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine I'd make my income like this.

04:18:53.000 Chat says, you helped me get through my last deployment.

04:18:57.000 I'm glad I was finally able to join Mug Club for this deployment. 0.99

04:19:00.000 Once I get my mug, it will be coming with me on deployment three times.

04:19:06.000 I'll send you pictures.

04:19:07.000 Semper Fi, guys.

04:19:07.000 What's odd is that he clearly only had enough characters, so he had to misspell it once.

04:19:13.000 Thank you very much Semper Fi.

04:19:15.000 We really appreciate it, brother.

04:19:16.000 And we get a lot of people who listen and watch on military basis.

04:19:20.000 And I tell you what, that really does mean a lot to us because when people talk, and listen, obviously healthcare workers who are out there when there's uncertainty, of course they're brave and they should be commended.

04:19:29.000 But let's not forget the people who are real heroes all seasons of every year.

04:19:34.000 The American troops who really are going forward and fighting for our freedom.

04:19:37.000 And by the way, fighting for our freedom to protect us from tyrannical governments who want to destroy it, like China. 0.60

04:19:44.000 Just because they haven't attacked us, just because we're not at war with China, does not mean that they are not a government, not the people, a government diametrically opposed to our ideas.

04:19:53.000 And so I'm so grateful that we have people like that out there.

04:19:55.000 We have a second one here.

04:19:56.000 Did you check on Joe?

04:19:58.000 No, I don't care.

04:20:00.000 He's fine.

04:20:00.000 He's good.

04:20:02.000 He's docile.

04:20:03.000 Get rid of him and trot out John Kasich. 0.96

04:20:05.000 Hey, hey, someone pour that Black Rifle cold brew on his face. 0.93

04:20:11.000 Another chat here.

04:20:12.000 I'm so happy that you did the month of Mug Club.

04:20:14.000 It showed me that I needed it, lol.

04:20:15.000 Y'all are fantastic.

04:20:17.000 Well, thank you very much.

04:20:18.000 You're fantastic.

04:20:19.000 Our pain and suffering showed you you needed this show.

04:20:21.000 Honestly, we only promised four hours, and I don't know how much longer we're going to go.

04:20:25.000 And Bill, I know you have a Mrs. to get home to. 1.00

04:20:27.000 We might go another few minutes, another 15.

04:20:28.000 I can go a little bit more because this is the part of my job that, truthfully, I enjoy the most.

04:20:34.000 It's the prep, it's all the other work, it's the business stuff, which you know and you help handle, but all the stuff going on with sponsors and making sure that we're not getting completely removed from social media platforms.

04:20:44.000 But actually being here and being able to interact with you guys, be it the chat or you guys tweet us and we see you in the comments section, it's meant a lot to everyone here as well, so I really do appreciate it.

04:20:57.000 Yeah, thank you.

04:20:57.000 So what else do we got?

04:20:58.000 Chats? 0.98

04:20:59.000 We got giveaways?

04:20:59.000 Yes, we do have several giveaways, actually.

04:21:01.000 We got six more to go.

04:21:02.000 Oh my gosh!

04:21:03.000 We can just run straight through them.

04:21:05.000 Alright, let's knock them out! 1.00

04:21:06.000 Can someone else read them?

04:21:07.000 Yeah, absolutely.

04:21:08.000 Alright, read the giveaways that we have.

04:21:10.000 Alright, so we got... I'm just gonna jump straight to it.

04:21:13.000 Yeah.

04:21:14.000 Just straight to the winner.

04:21:15.000 Let's just do that.

04:21:16.000 Okay, the winner.

04:21:17.000 Okay.

04:21:17.000 Winner is... Hey, everyone.

04:21:18.000 Thank you for getting him out of here.

04:21:19.000 Cool, thank you.

04:21:20.000 Paul Ben.

04:21:21.000 I said not to let him out of your sight.

04:21:24.000 Only one person gets a mask?

04:21:27.000 And it's Bill?

04:21:28.000 I never realized how much... I never... Aw, there you go.

04:21:31.000 That one's been used, though.

04:21:32.000 Adam West, Batman.

04:21:34.000 Batman just checked his inherent racism.

04:21:36.000 He only gave a mask to the Asian. 0.95

04:21:39.000 Aw, but he loves me.

04:21:41.000 Oh, hold on a second.

04:21:41.000 Look, bring this up really quickly before we go to that.

04:21:43.000 At least 31 states moving to reopen by weekend despite rising deaths warnings.

04:21:49.000 Well, how are they going to reopen there, Chris? 1.00

04:21:51.000 That's a Ben's Curve, asshole! 1.00

04:21:56.000 He's lost it. 1.00

04:21:56.000 The wine's hitting him. 1.00

04:21:57.000 He said he couldn't bend it!

04:21:58.000 It's bent!

04:21:58.000 Yeah, that's exactly how people yell from their bicycles to him.

04:22:03.000 Well, let's do this, Chris.

04:22:04.000 Why don't we just follow the advice from your pals in China?

04:22:08.000 They've reopened?

04:22:10.000 Yeah.

04:22:11.000 I mean, look, if we can say that's where the curve's going.

04:22:14.000 It's remarkable.

04:22:15.000 Despite death warrants.

04:22:17.000 Despite peaking deaths.

04:22:18.000 It's like, hold on a second.

04:22:19.000 Unless there are no deaths, there are obviously always going to be more deaths.

04:22:24.000 And so the idea is, again, we're talking about a phased program.

04:22:27.000 In Texas, frankly, I don't even know how honestly smart it is to Only allow 25% of capacity, because that might be one foot in, one foot out, where they might not be able to make enough of an income.

04:22:37.000 Right, I think it's two weeks and they're gonna say, hey, I think it's just covering themselves.

04:22:41.000 Just in case.

04:22:41.000 The point is it's far more conservative than Lil' Cuomo.

04:22:44.000 CNN sent an entire team to Wuhan, and we're all supposed to be excited that they're reopening, while we sit at home and watch on CNN.

04:22:54.000 The curb that is bent, that is being claimed that it's not bent!

04:22:58.000 That was the last straw.

04:22:59.000 What do you think Sanjay?

04:23:00.000 I don't know.

04:23:01.000 We check in with Tintin in Wuhan in short pants.

04:23:03.000 Chris?

04:23:05.000 Make sure you have a mask.

04:23:07.000 All right, let's do the giveaways.

04:23:09.000 Max S!

04:23:09.000 Too cute, Matty.

04:23:10.000 Top Gun helmet.

04:23:12.000 Oh! 0.60

04:23:12.000 Bullet hole included? 0.60

04:23:14.000 Let's get some of these in here.

04:23:15.000 Let's keep going, let's keep going.

04:23:16.000 Top Gun helmet, that's gonna go to Max S. Katrina E. Katrina E got the custom-made stage-worn fig shirt. 0.98

04:23:21.000 That's right.

04:23:22.000 Those are not for sale.

04:23:24.000 Only giveaway.

04:23:24.000 Not for sale.

04:23:25.000 Not for sale.

04:23:26.000 Just to be really clear.

04:23:27.000 Just a prop.

04:23:29.000 That one right there.

04:23:30.000 All right, Alexander B. got the Bill Law So we've got a mug.

04:23:34.000 I didn't know this was... Is this a thing?

04:23:36.000 So we've got some shirts.

04:23:38.000 Bring a law firm mug.

04:23:39.000 So bring it over.

04:23:40.000 You get a mug.

04:23:41.000 It's got my name on it.

04:23:42.000 Bill got a mug?

04:23:44.000 I brought my own mug.

04:23:45.000 Thank you.

04:23:47.000 Like a normal person.

04:23:47.000 Wait, hold on a second.

04:23:49.000 We missed that bit.

04:23:50.000 I didn't even know about this.

04:23:52.000 What's going on here?

04:23:54.000 Oh, come on. 0.87

04:23:55.000 For Bill!

04:23:56.000 Oh, good!

04:23:57.000 Yeah.

04:23:58.000 You and Ozzy Osbourne, apparently.

04:23:59.000 Good for you.

04:24:01.000 Good for you.

04:24:02.000 Support your people. 0.99

04:24:02.000 That's disgusting. 0.99

04:24:04.000 By the way, just... Let's be fact-checked by Snopes.

04:24:08.000 It could be a different strain of coronavirus that is bioavailable in bats.

04:24:14.000 So we don't want to judge because to appropriate is to appreciate.

04:24:18.000 All Americans, lest you be racist, should try bat soup before you knock it.

04:24:24.000 Or any winged rodent.

04:24:25.000 No, no, no.

04:24:26.000 They got bat souffle, bat gumbo, bat creole, bat kebabs. 1.00

04:24:29.000 They got flying squirrel stew.

04:24:30.000 Yup, yup, they got flying squirrel stew.

04:24:36.000 Are there any other flying rodents?

04:24:38.000 There must be.

04:24:38.000 Okay, what are the last of the giveaways?

04:24:42.000 No, we got two more.

04:24:42.000 Amber H gets the half-Asian Bill Cancer tumbler.

04:24:46.000 I just want to let you know.

04:24:48.000 It's a different Amber H. And maybe it's the same. 0.53

04:24:50.000 I don't know.

04:24:51.000 So we got this tumbler.

04:24:54.000 But it's actually from my firm.

04:24:56.000 And I've signed it here.

04:24:58.000 And just so you know, guaranteed that it's crappy, it has the Ben Shapiro, Star of David seal of approval on the back.

04:25:08.000 Wow. 0.93

04:25:08.000 So it does have cancer. 0.93

04:25:09.000 Confirmed.

04:25:12.000 Wow.

04:25:13.000 Okay.

04:25:13.000 This is coming off as anti-Semitic.

04:25:15.000 I don't know.

04:25:16.000 It's okay.

04:25:17.000 Hello!

04:25:18.000 What are you kidding?

04:25:20.000 I love Ben Shapiro.

04:25:21.000 Not anti-Semitic.

04:25:22.000 Not least.

04:25:24.000 You have a tough act to follow because the Chinese government is not super tolerant of Jews.

04:25:27.000 That's another thing.

04:25:28.000 Bill de Blasio, not tolerant of Jews.

04:25:31.000 See him out there? 0.95

04:25:32.000 You gotta round him up!

04:25:33.000 Yeah, he was like, oh, you know, there's lots of people gathering.

04:25:36.000 I'm not just going to send the cops this time.

04:25:37.000 I'm actually going to go down there and tell the cops which people to ask over celebrating the death of their religious leader.

04:25:43.000 And there's some Jews inside.

04:25:44.000 Burn Jericho's memorating our mourning.

04:25:45.000 We feel like we've heard this before.

04:25:48.000 Yeah, very similar.

04:25:50.000 What?

04:25:51.000 De Blasio?

04:25:52.000 I'm sorry, only one group that he specifically labels in an entire city's worth, and it's the Jewish community.

04:25:59.000 Crying out loud, Mussolini, put some distance between him and yourself, De Blasio.

04:26:04.000 Be a little more subtle, okay?

04:26:06.000 Alright, we got one more, last but not least.

04:26:08.000 Joshua B. Josiah.

04:26:10.000 Oh, Josiah.

04:26:11.000 Sorry, I can't read.

04:26:13.000 Half-Asian Bill's Panda Mug.

04:26:15.000 He's been drinking through it the whole show.

04:26:17.000 He's got Corona all over him.

04:26:19.000 Josiah lives in a small town in Indiana.

04:26:21.000 That's someone on a commune if I've ever seen it.

04:26:24.000 Hey, hey, I would not use this mug in public.

04:26:26.000 You're the next Branch Dominion. 0.99

04:26:28.000 If that guy knows how to work a loom.

04:26:32.000 Right, yeah.

04:26:32.000 What is he, unwanted?

04:26:34.000 Is he telling the future? 1.00

04:26:36.000 Is he promising a woman a firstborn and spinning shit into gold? 0.99

04:26:40.000 A little bit, Steve. 1.00

04:26:41.000 Yes, he was.

04:26:42.000 All right, hold on a second here.

04:26:43.000 How do they make those fireplaces?

04:26:45.000 Let's, uh, and by the way, give them the rules really quickly for someone who's going to be flown out here.

04:26:48.000 Again, the purple coat is quarantine $3 off.

04:26:50.000 Yeah.

04:26:51.000 So we've got quarantine.

04:26:52.000 Go ahead, finish that part.

04:26:53.000 No, that was it.

04:26:53.000 I'm done.

04:26:54.000 No, no.

04:26:54.000 Quarantine.

04:26:55.000 $30 off it ends tonight at midnight.

04:26:56.000 Do this.

04:26:57.000 Your thing.

04:26:57.000 The final giveaway.

04:26:58.000 So if you're renewing, renew.

04:27:00.000 You've got to be active.

04:27:01.000 If you're registered or you otherwise apply through the alternate ways that we have, because no purchase is required, look at the official rules.

04:27:07.000 But anyone who is a registered Mug Club member by midnight tonight, 1159 Central, will be entered in the drawing for the grand prize, which we will announce when we come back from our break.

04:27:16.000 On May 11th, for the grand prize, which is coming out to this godforsaken studio, this godforsaken crew, and with the new props in our prop closet.

04:27:26.000 It's true.

04:27:27.000 I gotta work on those.

04:27:28.000 How many Gerald B's do you have, be honest?

04:27:30.000 Do you mean double-sided?

04:27:33.000 Let's see what they have, and then we'll see what they have, and then we'll go to the next segment.

04:27:38.000 You keep the camera on!

04:27:39.000 So Chris Cuomo... We don't have to do this as conservatively as you cats want everywhere.

04:27:45.000 Well, I'll give you half a point for that.

04:27:47.000 There are states...

04:27:50.000 Montana, Wyoming, Alaska.

04:27:51.000 By the way, a lot of countries have turned a corner because all of their most vulnerable are dead.

04:27:58.000 I'm not laughing at the dead, but seriously, like, Italy and Spain?

04:28:01.000 The reason they've turned a corner before us is because there are only so many 92-year-olds that the virus can kill. 0.85

04:28:07.000 We killed everybody.

04:28:08.000 It's called a fire break in the population. 1.00

04:28:10.000 You just kill the people.

04:28:11.000 That headline right there is saying that Italy is better off than the United States. 0.98

04:28:15.000 Do you understand that?

04:28:17.000 It's true.

04:28:19.000 It's not true.

04:28:23.000 So the doctor right before that was actually saying, you really need to treat different states with different population densities differently.

04:28:33.000 And it seems like he's saying...

04:28:37.000 Forget it.

04:28:37.000 He's in a new segment now.

04:28:38.000 He can't be held accountable for things he said last segment.

04:28:42.000 Didn't happen.

04:28:43.000 And then the second question is, does science love you?

04:28:46.000 you.

04:29:03.000 And you just, you have to take a certain amount of time for human trials in order to ensure that you have a vaccine that is both safe and effective.

04:29:10.000 And that's very, very hard to compress.

04:29:12.000 That's a pretty, that's a pretty fixed amount of time.

04:29:14.000 You know, I think it's a good idea that they're talking about trying to manufacture at the same time, or at least build the manufacturing capacity so they're ready to go.

04:29:22.000 Great that they're doing that.

04:29:24.000 What I'm frustrated by is that they can invest in warp speed for vaccine, but they're not investing in warp speed for testing.

04:29:32.000 By the way, does anyone else notice that Anderson Cooper and Sanjay Gupta were in the studio and Chris Cuomo has been cleared of all coronavirus? 0.90

04:29:39.000 He's just a prick who wants to broadcast from his basement. 0.99

04:29:42.000 He's just a diva. 1.00

04:29:43.000 There's no reason that he couldn't be in a studio.

04:29:45.000 I think he's just in a trailer in a different part of the same studio.

04:29:52.000 It's the Airstream Hour with Fredo!

04:29:53.000 I'm not sure.

04:29:54.000 One company in Maine, love Maine, don't get me wrong, but one company in Maine making

04:30:00.000 the swabs with the polyurethane tips, one, is all we've been able to figure out.

04:30:06.000 That's just a bad fact.

04:30:07.000 I don't understand why the desperation isn't there on the PPE side and the testing side.

04:30:12.000 But here's your problem, John.

04:30:13.000 We have plenty of PPE.

04:30:14.000 Hold on, hold on.

04:30:15.000 Hold on a minute.

04:30:16.000 By the way, industry is also required.

04:30:18.000 The guy who's bashing companies, corporations, business.

04:30:24.000 Oh man, everyone needs to be locked down.

04:30:26.000 Oh, we need to break up all these corporations.

04:30:28.000 I can't believe these corporations aren't out there making these products.

04:30:31.000 There's only one in America?

04:30:34.000 Terrible, I can't believe it.

04:30:35.000 What happened to, where's Q-tip?

04:30:39.000 Where's Q-tip in all this?

04:30:41.000 I need another banner to throw.

04:30:43.000 Well, we're fresh out.

04:30:46.000 Let's see what he's asking here.

04:30:47.000 People are scared.

04:30:48.000 They want to get back to work.

04:30:49.000 People die.

04:30:50.000 People get sick.

04:30:51.000 It's part of reality.

04:30:53.000 We're not going to all die.

04:30:54.000 We're not going to all get sick.

04:30:55.000 We're past the fear.

04:30:57.000 And we want to get back to life so we can take care of our families.

04:31:01.000 That could be tough to overcome, no matter what the numbers are.

04:31:05.000 Yeah. 1.00

04:31:06.000 The human spirit is a real bitch. 1.00

04:31:09.000 We're past the fear, but don't worry. 1.00

04:31:11.000 Here at CNN, we'll make sure that you fear again.

04:31:14.000 Keep that fear up.

04:31:15.000 Keep America afraid again.

04:31:18.000 His question was, talk for five minutes.

04:31:20.000 Thoughts on that?

04:31:21.000 We're going to go to a restaurant without additional testing, without additional evidence that it is safe to do so.

04:31:28.000 Wait!

04:31:29.000 This is from Cambridge, Massachusetts.

04:31:31.000 We've talked about Los Angeles County, New York City.

04:31:33.000 Whoa, Biden, what's going on here?

04:31:35.000 What did I say?

04:31:36.000 Massachusetts?

04:31:37.000 I couldn't get Massachusetts about that.

04:31:39.000 Sorry.

04:31:40.000 I don't have those in Asia, but don't think I'm not feeling the Belgian ales.

04:31:45.000 He's from Cambridge, MA.

04:31:51.000 He's from some other place in the state that's not Boston.

04:31:55.000 He's from Cambridge.

04:31:56.000 How far is that from Chelsea?

04:31:58.000 Because we have New York City, right?

04:32:00.000 We have Santa Clara County, we have Miami-Dade County, and then I think, if I'm not mistaken, Reg, the research band that can bring it up, I think it was Chelsea in MA who did antibody testing.

04:32:11.000 Where they're saying we need more testing but then they immediately refute any antibody

04:32:15.000 testing that shows the death rate might be 0.5 to 0.1 is inaccurate.

04:32:19.000 How many counties over is that from Cambridge?

04:32:20.000 I don't think it's that far.

04:32:21.000 Not very far.

04:32:22.000 But here's the problem.

04:32:23.000 Do you know how much testing we would need to satisfy these goons? 0.99

04:32:26.000 Billions.

04:32:26.000 Well, you know what's funny?

04:32:27.000 Let me tell you why.

04:32:28.000 These are the people who believe that the census should be done by sampling, and they don't understand that conservatives argue it's unconstitutional because, hey, let's just have an election done by sampling.

04:32:36.000 The reason, though, they want to do it by sampling, and it is a valid argument, is that it's a much more accurate way to collect data, which is perfect for epidemiology.

04:32:45.000 They want to do elections that way, but all of a sudden, when it comes to antibody testing, which is the originally intended purpose of sampling-type data, they throw it out.

04:32:55.000 Right, but here's your problem.

04:32:57.000 I go get tested right now.

04:32:59.000 I leave here.

04:32:59.000 I go to your favorite gas station, QT.

04:33:01.000 You know you love it.

04:33:03.000 I get a test result back on the phone before I get there and it says, hey, no COVID-19.

04:33:07.000 Fantastic.

04:33:07.000 I walk in.

04:33:08.000 I touch a door.

04:33:08.000 I come back out to the car.

04:33:10.000 Guess what?

04:33:10.000 I could possibly have it because somebody else touched it.

04:33:12.000 Now I need another test because I've touched a surface in public.

04:33:16.000 I need that test 50 times a day.

04:33:19.000 Every American would need the test 50 times a day to make sure they don't have it and they're not spreading it. 1.00

04:33:24.000 This is stupidity. 1.00

04:33:25.000 Look, I took a test. 1.00

04:33:27.000 My test said my blood test positive brings sick as fuck of Chris Cuomo. 1.00

04:33:32.000 I'm leaving. 0.99

04:33:32.000 I'm not going to be here for another minute. 0.99

04:33:35.000 I'm sending Fat Soup Batman in here.

04:33:37.000 He's taking my seat.

04:33:38.000 No, okay.

04:33:39.000 Thank you, Bill.

04:33:40.000 Bye, Bill.

04:33:40.000 Love you, Bill.

04:33:42.000 Love you, half-Asian Bill Richman.

04:33:43.000 We should get going soon, anyway.

04:33:45.000 No, I think that's absolutely accurate.

04:33:47.000 And that was another thing that the doctors in Bakersfield were saying, that if they test...

04:33:51.000 Don't throw it again, oh Bill, he threw it again.

04:33:55.000 Oh boy.

04:33:56.000 He needs anger management, change my mind.

04:33:58.000 He'll be okay. 0.99

04:33:59.000 He needs a Cuomo dummy to hit.

04:34:00.000 Those doctors, was it Erickson from Bakersfield, California, they talked about that, they said, I bet you if we went into your house and tested, we would find traces of COVID-19.

04:34:07.000 Somewhere.

04:34:07.000 Think about this for a second.

04:34:09.000 People are all, you're going to grocery stores, you're going to Costco, you're going out to all these essential places, especially if you're going and you're getting tests, let's say you're going to a pharmacy.

04:34:17.000 People, this idea that people are staying home, It's not accurate.

04:34:21.000 It's all really a variance of degrees.

04:34:23.000 What is this?

04:34:24.000 Bill Gates is back here again?

04:34:26.000 What are you trying to do?

04:34:27.000 Another vaccine.

04:34:28.000 Bill said I could show up with you guys and talk to you about vaccines.

04:34:32.000 Really?

04:34:32.000 What information do you have to provide for us about vaccines, Bill Gates?

04:34:37.000 Well, I have one right here, Steven, if you wanted to try it.

04:34:39.000 You know what I love is he's been holding his finger to flick it.

04:34:43.000 Now he's going, there you go.

04:34:44.000 He's a flicker.

04:34:45.000 So I appreciate the method.

04:34:46.000 He's a flicker.

04:34:47.000 I appreciate the method acting.

04:34:50.000 Like, the most concerning part in this horrifying motion pictorial is that, is Bill Gates gonna flick it to make sure there's no noxious gases?

04:34:59.000 I think it was a very nice flick, though.

04:35:01.000 It was a good flick.

04:35:03.000 I'll tell you what, I don't trust what's in that.

04:35:05.000 Give it to Gerald.

04:35:06.000 No, no, no.

04:35:07.000 I'll take it, whatever it is.

04:35:10.000 There you go.

04:35:11.000 Gerald, would you like to have some?

04:35:12.000 No, what the hell is that?

04:35:13.000 I'll take it.

04:35:14.000 You have a nice suit.

04:35:15.000 Your suit looks like early aughts Jordan Peterson raped Window XP.

04:35:19.000 Hey, watch out, there's equipment.

04:35:20.000 There we go.

04:35:21.000 Please don't.

04:35:21.000 I'm well familiar with it.

04:35:23.000 Like Jordan Peterson from those old videos?

04:35:25.000 You're well familiar with words?

04:35:28.000 No, that was your cue, Bill Gates.

04:35:31.000 Like the real Bill Gates.

04:35:35.000 He just won't leave.

04:35:36.000 This vodka is very potato-y.

04:35:37.000 Look, once you start him up, he'll never stop, Stephen.

04:35:40.000 He'll never stop.

04:35:41.000 Oh, boy.

04:35:45.000 I can't even put the lipstick on.

04:35:46.000 This is worse than children playing doctor.

04:35:48.000 Hey Bill Gates!

04:35:49.000 Do you like surprises?

04:35:50.000 It's a vaccine.

04:35:51.000 It smells like hand sanitizer.

04:35:53.000 Hey Bill Gates, do you like surprises?

04:35:56.000 Oh it's a vaccine.

04:35:59.000 It's a vaccine?

04:36:00.000 Yeah.

04:36:01.000 Whoa! 0.71

04:36:02.000 Smells like hand sanitizer.

04:36:04.000 Straight vodka.

04:36:07.000 We should not let your two edit bays be that close to each other. 1.00

04:36:10.000 It's not good.

04:36:11.000 They have infected one another.

04:36:12.000 It's just a surge of bad ideas on a regular basis.

04:36:23.000 Alright listen I think we're all about to tap out because when the MyPillowGuy comes

04:36:26.000 up with Bible verses.

04:36:31.000 Not that I don't like a good Mike Lindell interpretation of scripture.

04:36:35.000 The subtitle is, From Crack Addict to CEO.

04:36:38.000 That's what it says.

04:36:39.000 Hey, it's a come up story.

04:36:42.000 Everybody loves a come up story.

04:36:44.000 Good job.

04:36:45.000 From crack addict to MyPillow CEO to interpretations of the most complicated verses in all of the New Testament, read this new interpretation of the Book of Revelations from Mike Lindell.

04:36:57.000 Okay, let's see what Chris, please Chris, give us something to fact check on the way out here.

04:37:02.000 ...the reopen now trend.

04:37:04.000 The Massachusetts governor, Governor Charlie Baker, extended the stay-at-home order there until May 18th.

04:37:11.000 Now, even before that was announced, Boston's mayor had made clear his city wasn't going to reopen any time soon.

04:37:19.000 We have the mayor, Marty Walsh, joining us now.

04:37:22.000 Welcome to the Prime Time, sir.

04:37:24.000 Thank you for taking the opportunity.

04:37:26.000 Thanks, Chris.

04:37:27.000 Thanks for having me.

04:37:30.000 I know the anxiety level there is real as well, and they're hearing people and watching people reopen.

04:37:38.000 Why do you not feel the fervor?

04:37:43.000 Because it's not the right thing to do, and my job right now is to keep people safe and keep people alive.

04:37:49.000 No city should be allowed to exist that elects a mayor named Marty.

04:37:59.000 Listen, this city's a hell house.

04:38:03.000 Put Marty on it! 1.00

04:38:05.000 Marty'll fix this piece of shit, this crap hole over here. 1.00

04:38:09.000 Marty knows what's happening, okay? 1.00

04:38:12.000 I know, I saw him down there at Finnegan's Pub. 0.99

04:38:15.000 Marty knows these people who are going out there protesting all about their fucking civil rights. 0.98

04:38:21.000 Marty's gonna put the kibosh on that. 0.99

04:38:24.000 So fast, it'll make your head spin.

04:38:27.000 By the way, go Patriots. 0.99

04:38:28.000 Giants suck, right? 0.97

04:38:30.000 He's also got great stories. 1.00

04:38:32.000 The best stories.

04:38:33.000 Oh my.

04:38:35.000 Mahdi has the stories about this time that he went down to the bar and there were two folks, two packs, two people of color who clearly weren't supposed to be there.

04:38:44.000 Mahdi let him have it.

04:38:45.000 And not in a racist way, too, because like, I'm not racist, right?

04:38:50.000 Like, I understand what's up, what's happening. 0.99

04:38:52.000 But Mahdi, you know, he don't tolerate that showboating, single-ball player, streetball bullshit. 0.97

04:38:59.000 He's a team player. 0.96

04:39:00.000 Mahdi's the man for me. 0.92

04:39:00.000 Mahdi's down to the fundamentals. 0.92

04:39:03.000 He's all about the basics.

04:39:04.000 And that's what wins games.

04:39:07.000 Go Celtics. 1.00

04:39:08.000 Knicks suck. 1.00

04:39:10.000 The fundamentals, baby. 1.00

04:39:12.000 It's all about the fundamentals.

04:39:14.000 That's a terrible accent. 0.54

04:39:15.000 I'm horrible at bossing.

04:39:17.000 I think I'm horrible at all accents.

04:39:21.000 It's a camaraderie though.

04:39:24.000 People of color are really disproportionately affected by the COVID-19.

04:39:30.000 That's not really a problem for Boston, but it's something that we think about when we're talking about other municipalities.

04:39:38.000 And Marty's got that on the front of his mind.

04:39:40.000 So, that's what we appreciate about Marty.

04:39:43.000 He's not Collard himself.

04:39:45.000 What he thinks about him, you know?

04:39:47.000 Like a lot of us, we don't really think about him that much.

04:39:50.000 Like my friends, you know, we're just a couple of guys from Southie, you know.

04:39:54.000 And I know people give us a hard time because we got like Matt Damon and Ben Affleck and everyone thinks, but we're not all a bunch of fruitcakes just because we don't have colleagues.

04:40:02.000 We're allies.

04:40:03.000 We're allies.

04:40:04.000 We're certainly allies.

04:40:05.000 You know, like really, people don't realize this.

04:40:08.000 The Celtics in Boston, Like, they think about Larry Bird.

04:40:12.000 We had a lot of, we had a lot of Negroes on that team as well. 0.99

04:40:15.000 Yeah, yeah.

04:40:16.000 It's true.

04:40:16.000 We always had that right.

04:40:17.000 To compete.

04:40:18.000 To compete.

04:40:19.000 Everyone, yeah, listen.

04:40:20.000 Everyone thinks it was all about magic and Hakeem Olajuwon, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.

04:40:25.000 My left nut could throw up three pointers faster than Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.

04:40:31.000 Larry Bird wiped the court with a... That's a prolific left nut.

04:40:35.000 Owned the whole Los Angeles Lakers.

04:40:38.000 And I don't mean that in a racist way.

04:40:40.000 Ask Marty about it.

04:40:42.000 I think any time you have to say, I don't mean that in a racist way, 60 times.

04:40:45.000 It means you're from Boston.

04:40:47.000 It means that you probably mean it in a racist way.

04:40:50.000 You just don't want to be labeled that way.

04:40:53.000 Okay, I'm just waiting for some kind of information here that's valuable so that I can be sent off on a high note.

04:41:02.000 Well, he brought Mayor Marty on, and he hasn't got anything useful.

04:41:04.000 Let's hear what Marty has to say, and let's hear our next response from Chris Cuomo.

04:41:08.000 Chris Cuomo.

04:41:09.000 Christopher Cuomo.

04:41:11.000 That's very cute.

04:41:13.000 It is.

04:41:13.000 It's probably what his kid says.

04:41:14.000 Hey, hey, listen.

04:41:16.000 Chris, don't think that we forgot for a second that your wife was out there hawking Himalayan salt lamp cures for the coronavirus and doing the Clorox bleach baths that they had to release a statement about. 0.99

04:41:29.000 You're over there, your broad's blaming Donald Trump for telling people to drink Lysol, which he never fucking did. 0.94

04:41:36.000 But your wife was taking baths and Clorox, talking about vitamin C and earthen mats, how that was going to stop the next pandemic. 1.00

04:41:44.000 All I'm trying to say, Chris, is I understand you want to be a man of the people, but you're a fucking prick. 1.00

04:41:51.000 That sums it up, man. 1.00

04:41:52.000 I don't even know what to say after that.

04:41:53.000 Those are Marty's words, not mine.

04:41:54.000 Marty lets him stay at his house.

04:41:55.000 You know what, Chris?

04:41:55.000 right.

04:41:56.000 Because the shelter system is breaking down and there's no capacity and they can't be

04:41:58.000 in the hospitals right now.

04:42:00.000 There's nowhere for them to go in New York City.

04:42:02.000 You made special accommodations for the homeless.

04:42:05.000 And that was a humane thing but also a tactical thing.

04:42:08.000 Marty lets them stay at his house.

04:42:09.000 Because people start using that as an excuse.

04:42:10.000 You know what, Chris?

04:42:11.000 I'm going to stop you there.

04:42:13.000 We thought it was a humane thing to do. 1.00

04:42:16.000 We had a bunch of homeless guys, a bunch of homeless gals, bastards over here. 1.00

04:42:24.000 We collected so many homeless. 0.99

04:42:26.000 We were laying down a trail of sandwiches outside of your Airstream, all the way down to Cambridge, until we realized that we weren't actually rounding up the homeless to send them to hospitals.

04:42:41.000 They were just folks from Boston.

04:42:43.000 So now we have to rethink our approach, Chris.

04:42:46.000 And I really wish that you wouldn't have asked me on the broadcast when I'm nine Jamersons in.

04:42:56.000 And if we don't take all the precautions today, well, you know what?

04:42:59.000 There's going to be more coronavirus in September, and there'd be a chance that our kids don't go back to school.

04:43:04.000 And that's not going to help our society.

04:43:05.000 That's not going to help our children.

04:43:07.000 That's not true.

04:43:07.000 It's a complete lie.

04:43:08.000 And I think that we have to continue to take this very seriously right now.

04:43:12.000 We don't have that negative necessarily, you know, labeling of our homeless population because we did build out space for quarantine, for additional space in our shelter so they could self kind of Physical distance and we have at the Convention Center and at Boston Medical Center we have some hospital beds with healthcare for the homeless for our homeless that are COVID positive.

04:43:34.000 Well, you guys earned the hashtag Boston Strong, and this is a very different kind of test trying to get that goal.

04:43:40.000 This is what put them over the line?

04:43:42.000 Amazing, amazing endurance to make it through.

04:43:45.000 But we'll be watching your city, because once again, you are doing things that call for strength.

04:43:51.000 That I agree with.

04:43:52.000 Yeah, that I agree with.

04:43:53.000 Yes, that's exactly what I was waiting for.

04:43:57.000 Stay blessed, stay healthy, and please be aware you have this platform.

04:44:01.000 It's a phone call away to tell people how it's going and why you're doing what you're doing.

04:44:06.000 Thanks, Chris.

04:44:07.000 It's good to see you better.

04:44:09.000 Watching you go through this is really interesting to see, and I hope you and your family stay safe as well.

04:44:14.000 God bless you.

04:44:16.000 What are you doing on Tuesday?

04:44:17.000 It became proof positive that I am the weak link in my family because the missus and my son... Yeah, you didn't need COVID to do that, Chris.

04:44:24.000 It was fairly obvious. 0.99

04:44:26.000 I don't mean to bust balls here, Chris, but your wife sells salt candles and she's been telling people they gotta buy fucking crystals to try and cure coronavirus. 0.99

04:44:39.000 Clorox, baths, right? 0.99

04:44:41.000 And I gotta tell ya, there was still no doubt in our mind that you're the fuckin' weakest link in that family, Chris. 0.98

04:44:48.000 There was never a shred of doubt. 0.98

04:44:50.000 So, listen.

04:44:52.000 I'm not gonna speak on behalf of Marty, but I'll speak on behalf of the real people of Boston who wanna go back to work, right?

04:44:58.000 Listen.

04:44:59.000 Uh, y'all, everybody, I don't know why I would say y'all from Boston, y'all.

04:45:03.000 Everyone out there, y'all see a transplant.

04:45:05.000 Everyone out there, you can use, ah, look, look, we got a little Betty over here. 1.00

04:45:11.000 Come on.

04:45:12.000 Come on, dog.

04:45:14.000 You got an hour and a half left to take advantage of.

04:45:17.000 Mug Club quarantine discount.

04:45:19.000 I don't care.

04:45:20.000 I love you, you little... Okay, that's a little aggressive.

04:45:25.000 Eventually she's gonna eat your face. 1.00

04:45:26.000 Promo code quarantine to get $30 off. 0.67

04:45:29.000 Mug Club quarantine is the hashtag.

04:45:31.000 You don't have a lot of time left.

04:45:32.000 Do it!

04:45:33.000 Hour and a half.

04:45:35.000 She is.

04:45:35.000 Okay.

04:45:36.000 She gets on us, she licks us, I'd say, okay, time to go to bed.

04:45:39.000 Alright, well listen, if I'm entering the promo, I'll end this from Boston, okay? 0.55

04:45:43.000 I wish there was more to fact check.

04:45:44.000 I hope this has been of value to you, but everyone at home, listen, including, we know that we can just look at the, we can look at the actuary tables, and we know there's probably Probably a significantly lower amount of people watching from Boston today than there were last month.

04:46:00.000 Of all races. 0.91

04:46:01.000 Of all fucking creeds. 1.00

04:46:09.000 Listen, I don't care. 0.99

04:46:11.000 This is the thing about this virus, K. It's a great fucking equalizer. 0.99

04:46:15.000 It doesn't care any color of the rainbow. 0.99

04:46:18.000 Black, red, yellow, or white. 1.00

04:46:20.000 Fucking black. 1.00

04:46:21.000 It doesn't... 1.00

04:46:24.000 Right, listen, all I'm saying, COVID, it doesn't give a shit, right? 0.99

04:46:29.000 That's what I'm saying. 0.99

04:46:29.000 You're truly colorblind. 0.99

04:46:31.000 Everyone out there, listen, we're all in this together, not Chris Cuomo.

04:46:36.000 I do obviously recommend everyone enter in the promo code QUARANTINE.

04:46:40.000 You'll get $30 off.

04:46:42.000 Yeah.

04:46:42.000 At least until midnight, and then, you know, I don't know what to do.

04:46:45.000 Midnight Central.

04:46:46.000 After that, you're pretty much out of luck, and I appreciate you spending this time with us.

04:46:51.000 I'm gonna take one week off, okay?

04:46:52.000 One week off next week.

04:46:54.000 We'll be back with a whole new show.

04:46:56.000 I appreciate you being with us.

04:46:59.000 I want to go home.

04:47:00.000 I think I'm going to call myself an Uber if that's still in line.

04:47:04.000 Are they still running Uber?

04:47:05.000 I'm going to call myself an Uber.

04:47:06.000 Don't stop by QT.

04:47:06.000 Stop by Duncan.

04:47:08.000 About 20 minutes later, take myself a huge dump.

04:47:11.000 And I'll see you in about a week and two days.

04:47:14.000 Thanks so much for tuning in.

04:47:15.000 Love you. 0.99

04:47:16.000 And I'm sorry we dragged you through the fucking mud. 0.99

04:47:19.000 We did. 0.99

04:47:19.000 Let's play us out. 0.99

04:47:20.000 Let's just be done.

Louder with Crowder - April 30, 2020

LIVE: CNN FACTCHECK! #MugClubQuarantine FINALE! | Donald Trump Jr., Nick Di Paolo

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript