The Lotto With Crowder crew is back with a special bonus episode featuring a special guest! This week, the crew talks about what not to bring to air on the Lotto with Crowder, an Australian homeowner discovers an unpleasant discovery, and Gerald tries to explain why he's allergic to crab.
00:02:37.000It could be that we didn't quite think it was ready for prime time.
00:02:39.000It could just be because we thought it was really funny the night before, and if we were writing it a couple beers, and the next morning, it didn't even make any sense.
00:02:57.000Yeah, but that's better than my stinger.
00:02:59.000Yeah, and you should know, by the way, we were just talking about Vegas, and Gerald and I were talking about how we didn't really like Vegas, and I mentioned the Bellagio buffet, and then you had your, whatever, quip.
00:03:10.000Yeah. And you guys, you all trying out smart ass.
00:03:13.000And then I was like, no, no, no, it's actually a good buffet, so you can get unlimited crab.
00:03:16.000And I think, did I hear this correctly?
00:03:18.000Did noodles sound off and say, I'm allergic to crab?
00:05:17.000An Australian homeowner made an unpleasant discovery when working in his yard.
00:05:23.000Now, if you're a bit yellow-bellied, you might want to look away because a family in Sydney's west found more than 100 red-bellied black snakes in their backyard.
00:05:34.000My goodness, let's go live to Liam Tapper in Sydney.
00:10:45.000You guys are used to a lot of people who use, like, prompter, and I just have notes, and I kind of am able to look.
00:10:52.000But then, when you're far enough removed from the minister's story that you clearly were so uninterested in that you didn't run it, It doesn't.
00:11:26.000Now I'm thinking of the British broadcaster.
00:11:29.000Yeah. The caricature of a British accent.
00:11:35.000So when we covered the Big Balls story originally, we actually came up with an idea for a song to go with it.
00:11:41.000Unfortunately, someone else kind of beat us to the punch, and that happens, especially in the era of the internet where...
00:11:46.000Sometimes you spend a lot of time crafting out a joke or a series of jokes, and someone will just sort of take a premise, but the premise is used online, and it can be half-baked, like, ah, we don't want to be seen as copying it.
00:17:05.000She's going to go to Jimmy John's every day.
00:17:07.000What? I thought she was going to get physically fit.
00:17:10.000No. The worst part about Oprah, do you guys remember in the 90s, it was an epidemic of her always, she was dispensing some kind of diet or health advice.
00:17:23.000It's like, yeah, yeah, I'm sure it works for you.
00:18:28.000And the plus one is actually seven plus one New Year's resolutions.
00:18:31.000Brian Stelter is going to try, but then he's going to, and I know usually you'd play us out, but we have a bunch of others too, because this is one.
00:21:22.000A joke is always best when it needs explaining.
00:21:25.000This one was written about someone in Congress who I don't know who they are, but their name sounds like a baseball player, so it's confusing.
00:21:32.000David Ortiz is gonna stop skipping leg day.
00:23:19.000You started this, and I was trying to make it so you didn't feel like you were alone in it, and then you made me feel like I was alone in it.
00:25:44.000You might remember a few weeks back when this European member of Parliament, Raphael Glucksmann, far-left Frenchman, demanded that Americans return the Statue of Liberty to France.
00:27:40.000So, we came up with a bunch of different bits of the Statue of Liberty thing, giving it back before we ended up landing on, and you saw these photoshops, Gluckman's backup offer.
00:29:35.000It comes with a full set of their branded bumper plates.
00:29:38.000And by the way, that means they're all the same diameter, which makes it quite convenient, for example, if you have to deadlift and you don't want to have to do a deficit.
00:29:43.000They have a fully adjustable incline-decline bench, which comes with it.
00:29:47.000And they also, by the way, have some daily video workouts.
00:30:36.000Just make sure that if we're talking JFK, the gunshot, there's a ricochet sound of a second shooter.
00:30:41.000I'm trying to remember where this is going because I'm like, how tasteless is this going to be?
00:30:46.000Every time I do this, I'm always a little worried because it's either something like, okay, shouldn't have made air, or it's something that we absolutely did not want the public to see.
00:30:54.000And when I'm thinking JFK and what's been surrounding it, I'm like, this could go sideways.
00:30:58.000Are we going to be like, it was the Jews!
00:31:00.000Yeah, well, I mean, we're obviously all starting from that premise.
00:34:09.000So, what's really interesting, do me a favor, find the painting of Lucifer and get the full painting, because when you look at it like that, you're like, wow, that looks pretty similar.
00:34:16.000No, both arms are up in that painting.
00:34:17.000Exactly. In the painting, both arms are up, the legs are spread, kind of like staggered, like they're taking a stance or something like that, I can't remember.
00:34:24.000But this made the rounds when everybody saw it, like, I can't believe it, and this guy's like, look, it's Lucifer!
00:36:06.000Even back then, it's like, oh yeah, for a very handsome man, you have to be jacked and ripped, which is very difficult to attain.
00:36:13.000Can you bring up that statue, the famous David statue?
00:36:16.000And you know, the one thing that you do notice, though, for sure, because you had a lot of athletes back then, when you're even going back to Greece, but you did have a lot of athletes, the original Olympians, they're jacked and they're ripped, but here's the primary difference that you notice, and this is kind of developed with the modern advent of weightlifting,
00:36:31.000because they would lift up boulders, they'd lift up other people.
00:37:19.000Yes. I can't say anything else on that.
00:37:25.000So! A little while ago, we covered a Senate hearing where Rabbi Levi Shemtov raised the issue not only of anti-Semitism on campus, but he said it's not enough to not be anti-Semitic.
00:38:28.000But then if you look the back and watch this clip to his right, our left, it looks like that guy is constantly looking toward the door for like an active shooter scenario.
00:38:37.000Watch. Anti-Semitism is not just an age-old prejudice.
00:41:10.000Yes. The one thing, though, with these watches, and I do like it, is the calendar always goes to 31. So you always have to reset it, like, on the first of the month.
00:42:22.000Either I didn't get the point across right, or I didn't get the wording across right, but the audience didn't receive them as well as I'd hoped.
00:42:42.000No, and then I would, not really, a couple guys would laugh, but then I would turn around and go like, like that, and go, I'm surprised that didn't work.
00:42:58.000Maybe if you add it, be like, well, the problem is after sleeping with, if you do that and tag it with the problem is after sleeping with multiple deaf women, turns out they all have the same safe word and sign.
00:43:24.000No, I'm just saying it was tough to make work because I had him holding Linus hostage and making him cuddle his blankie and saying his last words.
00:43:34.000It was one of those things that was early on where it was too dark and I didn't know how to transition it into something funny.
00:43:38.000I did have some things that I would have to...
00:43:40.000I had a bit about Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and the piece of crap grandfather who was a cripple until he knew he could get some free chocolate because...
00:43:48.000John Mulaney ended up doing something very similar.
00:43:50.000I was like, well, then people think that I lifted it.
00:43:54.000Well, I kind of stopped doing the one bit that I did about Donald Trump at debates because Shane Gillis, and his is very funny, he did it even though after, like mine goes back to 2015, you can see a YouTube installment.
00:44:35.000And I actually stopped reading the book when I read the joke that I used to tell on stage, and it was right after my wife and I had our first baby.
00:45:16.000I meant to say something like, growing up, my brother had Down syndrome, and then go into the story, but I said, when I was a kid, my brother had Down syndrome, and then, oh, he still does, but immediately I was like, oh, you friggin' hack.
00:45:27.000No, but that was just like a word whisker.
00:45:38.000Yeah, well, I'm not going to do it again.
00:45:40.000I mean, unless he's the first, like, he'd be a miracle of modern medicine if he just, like, woke up one day and came out looking like Jude Law.
00:47:09.000So I basically just right in front of him was eating the Oreos that his wife had sent.
00:47:13.000And that's when I discovered that another guy was like, oh yeah, I saw you eating in your sleep the other month or whatever.
00:47:20.000And so I was like, oh, have I been doing this my whole life?
00:47:21.000And then it just had like a revelation in my head, like all the times in my life where I've been sleep eating and it got blamed on my brother.
00:47:53.000I'm the monster just letting him take the blame for this.
00:47:56.000Oh man, that's like a nightmare where you're screaming and nothing comes out.
00:47:59.000Where he knows he's right and no one believes him.
00:48:02.000It's not because he's actually doing it!
00:48:07.000I've heard of that, and it is surprising, because I get night terrors, and it is surprising, but it's not as surprising as, for example, it would be really crazy if you woke up in the middle of the night, people found you sleep dieting.
00:54:02.000There are a lot of times, especially when it comes to advertisements, that we're finding we're shooting for a new sponsor or something the day before it's going to run.
00:54:13.000So we'll shoot it early in the afternoon and we'll end up turning a spot for the next morning.
00:54:22.000Don't let the IRS take advantage of you.
00:54:25.000When it comes to the sketches of the show, I don't think people understand...
00:54:28.000How much work goes into producing them?
00:54:44.000The lighting, the boom, the costumes, the makeup, you name it.
00:54:48.000And it's one of those things where you watch everybody sort of do their part and when everyone does it right, it comes together and it's an awesome thing.
00:54:57.000Everything from the keying, the compositing, the sound design.
00:55:04.000These are things that typically teams of people would take months and months to achieve, and we do it in record time with a skeleton crew, and it's because they're all rock stars.
00:58:08.000I mean, to see your parents work hard and get what they want, rather than what I saw in my father, which was work hard and get what you get.
00:58:17.000I don't think many people get that sort of opportunity.
00:59:30.000What? If I actually showed my daughter those sketches, she's 10. Now she wants me to do a sketch with her where she gets to hit me with a glass bottle, so I'm not going to do that, though.