Louder with Crowder - June 03, 2026


The California Election Situation Is Completely Bonkers


Episode Stats


Length

1 hour and 9 minutes

Words per minute

148.06848

Word count

10,234

Sentence count

1,090


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Transcript

Transcripts from "Louder with Crowder" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. Explore them interactively here.
00:00:00.000 Someday a boo and does a say never done I've never and fun pari rod that says Someday a boo Do you trust me?
00:00:12.000 Chut up there say to me Have my now wonderful time in my wheelchair, salam Father and does a say Chut up there say to me Have my now wonderful time in my wheelchair, salam Father and does a say I'm going to free you, Janey I ran away and I am not going back and I am not We're sorry, you should.
00:00:37.000 I ran away.
00:00:38.000 We're sorry.
00:00:40.000 We're not going back.
00:00:43.000 Let's make some magic!
00:00:51.000 Okay, fine.
00:01:00.000 Give up!
00:01:08.000 Go find me There's this girl.
00:01:22.000 I've never fun.
00:01:23.000 Pardon me, that says, someday I'll do.
00:01:27.000 There's no time in my life without you.
00:01:30.000 I've never fun.
00:01:32.000 Pardon me, that says, someday.
00:03:56.000 Thank you.
00:03:56.000 Goodbye.
00:05:09.000 Hey, welcome to the lineup live here on Rumble.
00:05:12.000 YouTube is dead.
00:05:13.000 Rumble did it.
00:05:13.000 Figuratively, figuratively, just to be clear.
00:05:16.000 A couple of things we want to get through today.
00:05:18.000 Jimmy Kimmel is complaining about the death of Late Night.
00:05:21.000 Now, he has made the claim because of Colbert that it's not dying, it's being poisoned.
00:05:27.000 Meaning it's, what are the implications?
00:05:29.000 The government.
00:05:30.000 It's not.
00:05:32.000 I'll prove to you it's not.
00:05:33.000 And then I'll present to you a theory as to why Jimmy Kimmel actually not only is on the chopping block, but should be more so.
00:05:40.000 Than Stephen Colbert, because we've crunched some numbers.
00:05:42.000 Then I also want to get into California.
00:05:44.000 I don't know if you know this, but Colombia, Texas, North Korea.
00:05:49.000 What do you think all of these countries, states have in common?
00:05:54.000 They can get elections done the same day, not California.
00:05:58.000 As you increase the window of vote counting, as you increase the margins, you also increase the margins for fraud, tomfoolery, and bullcrap.
00:06:07.000 So we'll get into that and what you can expect with the California election.
00:06:09.000 Also, Judge Ross, well, you know what?
00:06:12.000 There's no way to explain it.
00:06:13.000 Just enjoy this ditty about Bernie Sanders being an insane person.
00:06:26.000 You socialist cheat, avoiding the shows where you'd have to speak of this communist heat you want here at home.
00:06:39.000 You climbed down a rope of blankets and sheets, evaded the guards.
00:06:44.000 You land in this creep, it's time to get back to the old folks' home.
00:06:50.000 I'm reading your plan over again, and there's not a word.
00:06:58.000 That I comprehend, except when you shine in love, Bernie always, with him backwards.
00:10:08.000 Rumble Premium and join now for $99 annually or $9.99 a month, to get the entirely ad free experience and an ever expanding roster of content, creators, and free speech.
00:11:05.000 How are you?
00:11:10.000 Just in case anyone was hoping to use sickos with the ASMR, I'm not going to be crinkling starched socks or whatever it is.
00:11:21.000 You degenerates.
00:11:22.000 Glad to be with you.
00:11:24.000 Yeah, and for those that we had done that a while ago, Dashboard Confessional.
00:11:27.000 Yeah.
00:11:28.000 And by the way, most of the parodies and stuff we do, we still do them.
00:11:31.000 You might see some AI imagery if it's a stinger.
00:11:35.000 We have been doing this for a very long time, and I get that everyone out there and their dogs.
00:11:39.000 And consider themselves Weird Al just doing parodies through AI.
00:11:42.000 But nope, we still actually do it.
00:11:43.000 A little bit old school here, and your support makes it happen.
00:11:46.000 We appreciate it.
00:11:47.000 Chill, Morgan Carton, Morgan C. How are you?
00:11:49.000 I'm fantastic.
00:11:50.000 How long did you get to sing like that?
00:11:53.000 It's passable.
00:11:53.000 Well, it wasn't.
00:11:55.000 I'm sure there's quite a bit of auto to it.
00:11:56.000 Come on.
00:11:56.000 It's good.
00:11:58.000 It has to be in your register, and you have to be willing to embarrass yourself.
00:12:01.000 I think you were sweating your balls off after that session.
00:12:01.000 There you go.
00:12:04.000 You came out drenched, like, man, this is a tough song.
00:12:07.000 Yeah.
00:12:09.000 Yes.
00:12:10.000 Creep.
00:12:10.000 Creep.
00:12:11.000 Radiohead was tough because that was all high notes.
00:12:13.000 Yeah.
00:12:13.000 Yeah.
00:12:14.000 There are a few of those, but I learned how to sing out of spite.
00:12:18.000 We had an employee here who.
00:12:22.000 I'll tell the story in Mug Club.
00:12:24.000 Remember for me to tell the story in Mug Club, but literally, I took private vocal lessons as a personal hell for a year and a half out of spite.
00:12:32.000 Because I was told by someone who fancied themselves a singer that I would never be able to sing.
00:12:35.000 I was like, okay, all right, okay, good.
00:12:38.000 Yeah, hey, you know what?
00:12:39.000 Show me how.
00:12:40.000 Let me guess.
00:12:40.000 Let me guess.
00:12:41.000 It's karaoke.
00:12:42.000 Ain't no sunshine when she's gone.
00:12:43.000 Can't sing anything else?
00:12:44.000 I got it.
00:12:47.000 Who was it that gave you that pep talk?
00:12:48.000 Me.
00:12:48.000 Your dad?
00:12:49.000 Oh, I'm just kidding.
00:12:51.000 No, he doesn't give me pep talks.
00:12:52.000 He just tells me I'm a disappointment.
00:12:55.000 And he does it pretty much every day before we go live, which is weekdays, 11 a.m. Eastern.
00:12:59.000 Wednesday, June 24th at the Addison Improv in Dallas, Texas.
00:13:02.000 One of my favorite clubs.
00:13:04.000 They let me go there and work out some stuff on a weekday, and it's a great place.
00:13:07.000 Josh Firestein.
00:13:08.000 Yeah, good.
00:13:09.000 Well, that is a weekday, and maybe you'll come work some things out.
00:13:13.000 Maybe I will, but maybe I won't.
00:13:16.000 I wouldn't count on it.
00:13:17.000 But maybe I will.
00:13:17.000 But maybe.
00:13:18.000 Speaking of working out, hey, you know who I really like to work out to exercise to train?
00:13:22.000 I like the term train.
00:13:23.000 I don't like the term exercise because it makes you think Jane Fonda or Jazz Hands.
00:13:27.000 I really like members of our military to train.
00:13:30.000 I don't know what you're thinking, but I want to make sure that you're not maybe misinterpreting what I'm saying.
00:13:37.000 I largely want them to train because their job in many capacities, certainly those in combat roles, requires killing.
00:13:44.000 Yeah.
00:13:44.000 Yeah, it's a fight to the death.
00:13:45.000 It's a somewhat physical endeavor.
00:13:48.000 And so, more interested, I would say, I'm more interested than.
00:13:52.000 For example, rather gender equity, I'm more interested in physical readiness.
00:13:59.000 Does that make sense?
00:14:00.000 Comment below.
00:14:01.000 I know that I'm kind of old school.
00:14:03.000 I'm a Renaissance man, like that, I guess.
00:14:06.000 But I'd rather them be better at killing, regardless of race, regardless of gender.
00:14:12.000 Let's be honest, men are better at it, unless it's poison, than anything else.
00:14:18.000 And it's almost like we've always done that with the military.
00:14:22.000 Since the beginning of human history, Well, since the inception of combat between humans, conflict, all the way through, always, just to be clear.
00:14:32.000 So then it changed, and now people are really outraged that it's potentially being changed back.
00:14:37.000 Here we enter the influencer and your leftist Jim Bestie.
00:14:42.000 This is self described Kate Havlicek.
00:14:46.000 I hope I'm getting that wrong.
00:14:48.000 She took some time to let you know why Pete Hegsess worked out with the troops in Singapore's crap.
00:15:00.000 And here she is saying, the man who thinks physical standards were lowered to accommodate women.
00:15:06.000 Not that he thinks it was in writing.
00:15:08.000 I'll make sure she gets the butt shot real quick.
00:15:10.000 Seems like he couldn't train like a woman even when he's trying his hardest.
00:15:16.000 He's physically and intellectually inept.
00:15:19.000 She writes in the caption.
00:15:24.000 That's cute.
00:15:30.000 Now, try running into some pants.
00:15:47.000 So, so many things that I dislike about this, namely that she is, in fact, dressed like a whore.
00:15:52.000 And I know what you mean.
00:15:53.000 I know what you're saying.
00:15:54.000 What do you mean?
00:15:55.000 I mean, dressed like someone who would solicit.
00:15:59.000 Sexual services offer them in exchange for money or goods or services of equal value.
00:16:05.000 You know, a professional whore.
00:16:07.000 That's the only way that someone would dress like that once upon a time.
00:16:09.000 And let's look at that contrast.
00:16:11.000 She's a big, strong woman, by the way.
00:16:13.000 And of course, men are narcissists, all men.
00:16:15.000 That's the pop psychology term of the day.
00:16:17.000 He is being filmed by someone else in shorts and a t shirt.
00:16:22.000 She's set up a permanent tripod, selfie stick, makeup, bra, and I guess I'll be generous, not say panties and say booty shorts.
00:16:32.000 Booty shorts that are pulled up all the way up into the butt crack, all the way so that you think that there's some kind of butt there.
00:16:38.000 Right, exactly.
00:16:39.000 It's the push up bra for ass.
00:16:40.000 You have an ass stenciled on your already ass.
00:16:44.000 And then I have no doubt that I guarantee if you look through her social media, you will find some complaining, lamenting men looking at her and what it's like to be a woman in the modern gym space.
00:16:54.000 I would suggest not constantly seeking and engaging in attention seeking behavior and perhaps at some point consider not dressing up.
00:17:04.000 Like a professional lady of the night.
00:17:07.000 Also, that's cool that you can do the treadmill.
00:17:09.000 Now do something like fight a man.
00:17:14.000 Yeah, also, she's doing all these exercises fresh.
00:17:17.000 Yeah.
00:17:18.000 Like he's been working out all day.
00:17:19.000 She's like, look what I can do fresh off the bench.
00:17:21.000 Yeah.
00:17:22.000 I could do burpees and my vertical is a foot.
00:17:27.000 Well, and here's the thing too.
00:17:28.000 We'll get some numbers.
00:17:28.000 It's just, it's irrefutable.
00:17:31.000 Look, here's actually, I will tell you this this is a litmus test because a lot of men.
00:17:35.000 Will reach in and reach out, sorry.
00:17:37.000 And they'll ask me, um, because we've been labeled red pill, which we're not, manosphere, which we're not.
00:17:42.000 I don't recommend you be promiscuous and prove your worth by sleeping with a bunch of women.
00:17:44.000 And I think the material goods ultimately are unfulfilling.
00:17:47.000 So I disagree with most of them.
00:17:49.000 But I also understand the diagnosing of the problem.
00:17:51.000 And I also understand wanting to avoid finding yourself with a feminist woman.
00:17:54.000 Ask one question.
00:17:56.000 And, and yes, I'm removing nuance.
00:17:58.000 If you want to date with a woman, just ask her, this statement is true or false?
00:18:04.000 Men are physically stronger than women.
00:18:06.000 If the answer is anything other than true, if the answer is anything, if it includes caveats or, well, I know this girl or, well, some women, you need to leave because that's a woman who can't engage in the logical, rational process.
00:18:21.000 Yeah, if her answer is no, then you put her in a chokehold.
00:18:25.000 Yeah.
00:18:25.000 And you say, get out of it, Dan.
00:18:26.000 Get out of it.
00:18:27.000 I say, there you go.
00:18:27.000 There you go.
00:18:28.000 Oh, reality just hit you in the face.
00:18:30.000 And I call Joshua.
00:18:33.000 But because I was doing you.
00:18:35.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:18:36.000 Yeah, I get it.
00:18:37.000 But of course, not all, not all, not all.
00:18:39.000 But it is.
00:18:41.000 It's the closest to a universal, generalized statement that you can make that is true in the absolute sense, in the most absolute sense.
00:18:51.000 Anyone who goes, well, that's someone who will never be capable of arguing in good faith or resolving conflict in good faith because it's so clear.
00:18:59.000 Even this girl, your favorite leftist gym chick who can do pull ups and her numbers in the gym are impressive, a 13 year old boy would, and I don't say this anyone should, would kick the shit out of her and it wouldn't even be close.
00:19:13.000 It wouldn't even be close.
00:19:15.000 It would be like swatting a pigeon with a newspaper.
00:19:19.000 Now, former Secretary of Defense Dick Cheney never worked out with the troops, to be clear.
00:19:23.000 This is the First guy to have done it.
00:19:24.000 But Dick Cheney was never a troop.
00:19:26.000 Probably best, he was a terrible shot.
00:19:28.000 And if you look at other people who were secretaries of defense, they haven't done this training.
00:19:35.000 Or they haven't done this in a way that has been effectively used to boost morale.
00:19:40.000 And you've talked about it.
00:19:41.000 Yeah, because the left gives so much crap to Hegseth.
00:19:44.000 I've seen this video circulated all week of him doing his crossovers or whatever it's called and how he's doing it improperly.
00:19:49.000 I was taught to do it.
00:19:50.000 And people making fun of this lady making fun of his ability to do his burpees or whatever those thrusts are.
00:19:56.000 He's doing them.
00:19:57.000 Right.
00:19:57.000 No one has ever done it before.
00:19:58.000 I mean, maybe, I don't know.
00:20:01.000 I'm only looking back a few decades.
00:20:02.000 I don't know everything.
00:20:03.000 Maybe back in the Civil War, somebody was out there with the guys, you know, missing limbs and doing some burpees, but.
00:20:09.000 I bet you Teddy Roosevelt was like, I say that, private, you call that a crunch?
00:20:14.000 But he's doing things that people in their own chain of command aren't doing.
00:20:17.000 Right.
00:20:18.000 I remember being in the Army.
00:20:19.000 We never had, you know, a general out there with us.
00:20:22.000 Barely ever saw a colonel out there with us.
00:20:24.000 Or if they were out there with us, they weren't doing the same exercises we were doing.
00:20:27.000 Mm hmm.
00:20:27.000 Here's the guy who's in charge of the entire Department of War, previously Department of Defense, doing things that the average soldier, average sailor, average airman is doing.
00:20:36.000 That's huge for morale.
00:20:37.000 It boosts the guys.
00:20:38.000 You're out here with the boys?
00:20:40.000 Yeah.
00:20:40.000 Yeah, that's a very good point.
00:20:41.000 And you're 45 years old.
00:20:43.000 People go, oh, he's just a Fox News TV host.
00:20:46.000 If I was that guy on that ship with them in Singapore, and I go, man, this Fox News host is outpacing you, bro.
00:20:53.000 Yeah, no, exactly right.
00:20:54.000 You better get on your ass.
00:20:55.000 Hey, you know what?
00:20:56.000 If you guys are in the military, if you're combat veterans, active military veterans, let me know.
00:21:01.000 Would it be meaningful to you?
00:21:02.000 And I'm not saying that everyone, by the way, who's a commanding officer has to be able to do this, but I also understand the value in it.
00:21:07.000 And I also understand him wanting to help set the pace.
00:21:10.000 Now, let me give you some numbers that are just undeniable because going back to men are stronger than women.
00:21:17.000 You'll get exceptions.
00:21:18.000 Not all, not all, not all.
00:21:19.000 Whatever.
00:21:20.000 Let me give you some numbers.
00:21:21.000 Check the references, links in the description.
00:21:23.000 Women, as it relates to women in combat, they are 67% more likely than men in the Army to receive physical discharge.
00:21:31.000 For some type of musculoskeletal disorder or some kind of injury, they're 100% more likely to be injured while bearing loads compared to men in the Marines.
00:21:41.000 And just to give you an idea as far as the strength differential, because you can find people who are specialized in anything.
00:21:48.000 You can find a woman who can learn to squat some weight.
00:21:51.000 You can find maybe some men who are really good at pull ups, but for example, they can't do a bench press, right?
00:21:58.000 People get specialized.
00:22:00.000 Generalized strength is.
00:22:03.000 Pretty important and it's pretty inescapable.
00:22:05.000 And one of the most important metrics as you get older, as far as overall fractures, all cause mortality, a quality of life do people know this?
00:22:14.000 It's grip strength.
00:22:16.000 That's a huge component grip strength.
00:22:19.000 95% of men have greater grip strength than nearly all elite female athletes trained specifically in grip sports like judo.
00:22:28.000 That means that in grip strength, in the ability to monkey smash, 95% of men, the man off the couch eating potato chips, having never trained, is guaranteed to have a stronger grip capacity than the current female judo Olympian.
00:22:52.000 Okay?
00:22:53.000 Just stop.
00:22:54.000 Just stop.
00:22:55.000 Men are physically stronger than women.
00:22:57.000 This doesn't need to be offensive.
00:22:59.000 Women.
00:23:00.000 Have breasts more often than men.
00:23:02.000 Are there exceptions?
00:23:04.000 Sure.
00:23:06.000 That's not the conversation we're having.
00:23:09.000 How has this been playing out in the real world at all in 2022?
00:23:13.000 48% of enlisted women failed the Army combat fitness test, even, by the way, when we compensate for gender differences.
00:23:21.000 Only 8% of men.
00:23:25.000 It's just not even close.
00:23:28.000 And so this idea, like, This idea, we've talked about it so many times, but just think of how far off the beam we've gotten.
00:23:35.000 If you were to say in any other century, any other decade, like, well, of course, you know, women shouldn't be allowed in combat roles if they can't meet the physical requirements, everyone's like, what do you, why are, I hear you're saying words, but why are you wasting breath on something that everybody knows?
00:23:52.000 And now we have Instagram influencers saying, I can't believe it.
00:23:56.000 Yeah, you can.
00:23:57.000 Yeah, you can.
00:23:59.000 We all can.
00:23:59.000 Yeah.
00:24:00.000 That's it.
00:24:00.000 Especially when you have somebody, like Josh said, trying to reconnect.
00:24:03.000 That's been Hexess' kind of main cause is like reconnecting with the people that are actually going and doing the fighting and not just ruling from on high and having no understanding of what the men are actually going through now.
00:24:14.000 And he's doing a great job at that.
00:24:15.000 But that has been the very first thing they went after him for.
00:24:17.000 Do you remember when he was doing push ups or, sorry, pull ups with Kennedy?
00:24:20.000 They were doing that push ups and pull ups kind of challenge, I guess they were putting out there.
00:24:20.000 Yeah.
00:24:23.000 And everybody was like, ah, they're not even doing it.
00:24:25.000 I'm like, put the previous Secretary of Health and Human or whoever out there and see what they do.
00:24:30.000 These guys are actually trying to do something and engage with people.
00:24:33.000 Doing a good job at it.
00:24:35.000 The previous Secretary of Defense wouldn't even be caught dead in a PT uniform.
00:24:38.000 No, of course not.
00:24:39.000 God, it would look bad.
00:24:41.000 Yeah.
00:24:41.000 And the previous, well, was it Secretary?
00:24:45.000 Was it Assistant Secretary of Health, Rachel Levine?
00:24:47.000 I'm trying to remember the title.
00:24:48.000 Yeah.
00:24:49.000 No, she was the HHS Secretary.
00:24:50.000 I don't think she was Assistant.
00:24:51.000 Was it?
00:24:51.000 She was the HHS Secretary.
00:24:53.000 Yeah.
00:24:53.000 Well, you'll say, hey, RFK Jr., his voice is because he has a thing.
00:24:59.000 He had a voice thing.
00:25:00.000 Sure.
00:25:02.000 Rachel Levine is dying.
00:25:04.000 In front of you.
00:25:05.000 Yeah, well, at least RFK's not caught up on whether his cock should be there.
00:25:08.000 Yeah, exactly right.
00:25:10.000 It doesn't take a rocket scientist.
00:25:12.000 Shit, it's there, Apple.
00:25:15.000 It's always been there.
00:25:16.000 It's always going to be there.
00:25:19.000 I feel like he'd get exasperated just like, where's it going to go?
00:25:27.000 Also, Hegseth is 45.
00:25:29.000 I know.
00:25:30.000 How old is this chick?
00:25:31.000 Get back to me when you're 45.
00:25:33.000 Show me that running on the treadmill.
00:25:35.000 Yeah.
00:25:35.000 You're 45.
00:25:36.000 When you still haven't had a baby.
00:25:36.000 Yeah.
00:25:37.000 45 after you've traveled, a day full of work, and of course, no access to anabolics.
00:25:42.000 Yeah.
00:25:43.000 Although I don't know.
00:25:44.000 Just to be clear, it's just a real problem with the influencers.
00:25:47.000 Next, we want to go to the next one.
00:25:48.000 Okay.
00:25:48.000 Yeah.
00:25:49.000 You guys are probably familiar with, you know, that federal judge, Eleanor Ross.
00:25:56.000 Oh, is that the, that sounds like a first lady.
00:25:58.000 The one who was reprimanded for having sex with a deputy police chief in her chambers?
00:26:01.000 Ooh, I was right.
00:26:02.000 Nah, different person.
00:26:03.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:26:04.000 Also been, well.
00:26:07.000 I mean.
00:26:08.000 Was she reprimanded, or was it just like people said this happened and they said, All right, yeah, nice?
00:26:13.000 I don't know.
00:26:14.000 I just got here, yeah, pretty much.
00:26:15.000 And this obviously has been someone who's been at the forefront of some pretty high profile cases.
00:26:20.000 Now, I want to be clear this has been making the rounds, and I have not been able to fully verify the footage.
00:26:26.000 Someone claiming that they have audio of the activities going on in the chambers.
00:26:33.000 And if I were a betting man, I would bet that this perhaps isn't authentic, but it's funny enough that we decided to run it and do a 7 plus 1 anyway.
00:26:42.000 Here's the alleged audio from the Atlanta courthouse Jesus ain't going to help you now.
00:26:58.000 Jesus ain't going to help you now.
00:27:01.000 Did she not close the door?
00:27:04.000 These thin walls.
00:27:05.000 It could be.
00:27:06.000 End scene.
00:27:07.000 Yeah.
00:27:10.000 Now, I don't know if that is in fact authentic or not.
00:27:14.000 The story seems to be legitimate that this person was arrested.
00:27:17.000 I do know that they were denying it, the judge is denying it, and now she's lawyered up.
00:27:22.000 So there's like a chance, the video came out, she lawyered up, the deputy chief lawyered up.
00:27:26.000 It's like, all right, well, maybe.
00:27:28.000 Story is true.
00:27:29.000 That specific audio.
00:27:32.000 Seems like it may be a little performative.
00:27:33.000 And I know you're going to try and give me the Ben Shapiro WAP treatment.
00:27:35.000 It's like, believe me, I understand being vocal.
00:27:40.000 That just seems like you don't understand the concept of walls.
00:27:43.000 It's like you're trying to get caught.
00:27:45.000 Yeah, you're just showing off.
00:27:46.000 It's a little too performative at that point.
00:27:48.000 Yes, exactly.
00:27:48.000 Come on.
00:27:49.000 How good could it possibly be?
00:27:50.000 That being said, we also know that this is very common amongst judges and lawyers.
00:27:56.000 It's quite incestuous.
00:27:57.000 And the dirty talk at these courthouses gets quite hot, which brings us to this week's Seven Plus One.
00:28:08.000 You're forgotten, Sivan, in the chamber.
00:28:11.000 Thank you for the raid at the perfect time.
00:28:13.000 Yes.
00:28:14.000 Perfect time.
00:28:15.000 This is seven plus one legal dirty talk phrases that were uttered in this.
00:28:15.000 Welcome.
00:28:21.000 This is official business, folks.
00:28:23.000 Welcome to the raid, but this is official business.
00:28:23.000 This is official business.
00:28:26.000 That had taken place in the chambers of Judge Eleanor Ross.
00:28:29.000 Ross.
00:28:30.000 I keep forgetting.
00:28:31.000 It's almost like if you were to create generic black names.
00:28:33.000 Just a little.
00:28:34.000 Like Man Jamal Ross.
00:28:35.000 Eleanor Ross.
00:28:36.000 Seven plus one legal dirty talk terms or legalese, you know, jargon.
00:28:36.000 Okay.
00:28:42.000 Number seven, and of course we're going to be culturally sensitive.
00:28:46.000 Number seven, you about to get subpoenaed.
00:28:51.000 Hey, you have to show up.
00:28:54.000 Seven plus one legal dirty talk jargon in the boudoir.
00:28:59.000 I'll do number six.
00:29:00.000 I present to you Exhibit D.
00:29:05.000 And I present to you Exhibit D. Double D. Hey, nah.
00:29:09.000 You trying to squeak an extra D in on me, bitch?
00:29:13.000 Dang.
00:29:15.000 Number five, Josh.
00:29:17.000 This jury is hung.
00:29:19.000 Oh, that's how I call it.
00:29:22.000 That's how I call it.
00:29:24.000 Number four, this seems right up your alley, Gerald.
00:29:27.000 This is dirty talk legal needs to get the juices flowing, Gerald.
00:29:31.000 Get the juices flowing.
00:29:32.000 Got it.
00:29:33.000 Your consent is overruled.
00:29:35.000 Overruled.
00:29:36.000 Overruled.
00:29:37.000 Ooh, smack that gavel in there, Dad.
00:29:38.000 Oh, you heard that?
00:29:39.000 Hup.
00:29:40.000 You know what?
00:29:41.000 Sustained.
00:29:42.000 Yeah.
00:29:44.000 Erection.
00:29:45.000 That's right.
00:29:46.000 Sustained.
00:29:47.000 Four hours.
00:29:48.000 I erect.
00:29:51.000 Number two, number three, Mr. Joshua.
00:29:55.000 Time to present oral arguments.
00:29:57.000 Hey, now.
00:29:58.000 Gotta warm up now.
00:30:04.000 Seven plus one, legal, dirty talk terms.
00:30:06.000 It's the legalese.
00:30:07.000 It's the vernacular.
00:30:10.000 Number two, time for us to arrive at andor administer habeas acortis.
00:30:22.000 Not to be confused with habeas clitoris.
00:30:24.000 Let me know when you find it.
00:30:28.000 I think it's a myth.
00:30:34.000 Unsubstantiated.
00:30:35.000 That's right.
00:30:38.000 Next, you're going to tell me you got Atlantis in your panties.
00:30:42.000 And the number one, seven plus one, we're going to hell.
00:30:49.000 Legal, dirty top phrases heard.
00:30:51.000 Plus one, Joshua Feinstein.
00:30:53.000 We have reached a verdict.
00:30:54.000 Satisfied.
00:30:55.000 That's right.
00:30:56.000 That's right.
00:30:57.000 And plus one, we, the jury, find the defendant a filthy.
00:31:01.000 Eight percent plus one.
00:31:02.000 You forgot, Fivon, in the chamber.
00:31:11.000 Those were all in the chamber.
00:31:15.000 Oh, they got it all out the chamber.
00:31:17.000 All right.
00:31:18.000 We got to clear this chamber.
00:31:20.000 That's right.
00:31:23.000 Bailiff, prepare my chambers.
00:31:24.000 Matter of fact, you might want to send that chamber in for a few tests.
00:31:35.000 Usually, we don't derail it this fast.
00:31:36.000 I mean, hey, by the way, I need to mention, I don't know how to get any good way to manage all your crypto in one place.
00:31:43.000 Game for financial freedom with no middlemen.
00:31:46.000 Go to Rumble Wallet, wallet.rumble.com, link in the description.
00:31:49.000 It really is, if you want to be managing crypto and sort of uncouple or decouple, decouple from big banks, Rumble Wallet, they make it your one stop shop.
00:31:57.000 And you can actually interact with them.
00:31:59.000 Support creators there.
00:32:00.000 So, about to get fired from your courthouse job?
00:32:03.000 Yes, sir.
00:32:03.000 Go to Rumble Wallet now.
00:32:05.000 Yes, sir.
00:32:06.000 Should have decoupled sooner.
00:32:06.000 Manage your funds.
00:32:08.000 Hey, now.
00:32:11.000 The best part of my dick is this encrypt here.
00:32:17.000 Simple to use.
00:32:18.000 By the way, I left a little testimony on your chin.
00:32:20.000 Yeah, come on now.
00:32:22.000 Come on.
00:32:23.000 Yeah, I got one of them stable coins because it's too legit to quit.
00:32:27.000 It's stable.
00:32:28.000 Oh, nah.
00:32:29.000 None of that Ethereum bullshit.
00:32:35.000 It's a hyperly technical.
00:32:36.000 It is.
00:32:37.000 It's a crypto centric African American gigolo.
00:32:42.000 I'm working on it.
00:32:43.000 Double click that link in the description.
00:32:48.000 Double click!
00:32:50.000 Can't stop.
00:32:51.000 All right.
00:32:53.000 Nor should you.
00:32:54.000 Hey, you guys remember Late Night?
00:32:57.000 Now, you may not know this if you're new here.
00:33:00.000 This was originally a late night show.
00:33:03.000 I didn't have Fox News growing up.
00:33:05.000 I grew up in Canada where occasionally we could pirate some AM radio.
00:33:07.000 There was no right leaning content.
00:33:10.000 We had the government funded Broadcasting Corporation in Canada, and then we also had American television.
00:33:15.000 So I grew up with David Letterman.
00:33:17.000 Leno Conan was a big fan.
00:33:19.000 This show used to be at night until COVID, where we did two shows a day when everyone else was locked down.
00:33:25.000 And we found that many of you preferred or actually watched the late night show in the morning anyway because the format had changed.
00:33:32.000 And so we kind of hybridized it, and that's what you watch now.
00:33:34.000 But for years, it was later at night.
00:33:38.000 Late night is effectively, so I've lived it.
00:33:40.000 It is dead.
00:33:41.000 Late night as we knew it before.
00:33:44.000 Now, the hosts want to try and claim victim status and blame anyone but themselves.
00:33:51.000 It's time for Entertainment Minute.
00:34:03.000 So, and we'll make all the references every day.
00:34:06.000 Links in the description available at 11 a.m. when we stream.
00:34:09.000 It's one thing to say, hey, you know what?
00:34:10.000 It's not working because numbers across the board in traditional television are down significantly.
00:34:16.000 You look at what Carson used to have.
00:34:18.000 I mean, obviously, David Letterman, Leno would have less than that because now you have two.
00:34:22.000 You have two choices as opposed to one primary late night show.
00:34:25.000 Then you would look and see the numbers be lower than that when it was Letterman, Leno, and I believe Kimmel were still competing.
00:34:31.000 And then it got lower than that when you added people to TBS and other networks.
00:34:34.000 That's the nature of it.
00:34:36.000 For the same reason that you don't have album sales, or very rarely approaching what they used to be, we don't have the same touchstones that we used to, and that we all can kind of curate our own lists.
00:34:46.000 We don't have water cooler conversation.
00:34:48.000 So, late night, obviously, it's not lost on me, will be the victim of that to some degree.
00:34:53.000 But that's not the claim being made specifically by those leftist elitists like Colbert and Kimmel.
00:34:59.000 Let me give you the claim claim from Kimmel.
00:35:02.000 This is a recent Vulture article.
00:35:04.000 He said that it's not organic, it's not changing markets, and it's certainly not our performance.
00:35:10.000 He said, We're not just dying of natural causes.
00:35:14.000 We're being poisoned.
00:35:16.000 Of course, the implication being that they're being poisoned, that they're actually being taken out.
00:35:20.000 He is the victim of some type of government campaign.
00:35:24.000 Late night is being poisoned the same way Juliet was poisoned.
00:35:24.000 Yeah.
00:35:29.000 Well, time to end it all.
00:35:31.000 Bottoms up.
00:35:34.000 Come on, work already.
00:35:36.000 Why is this taking so long?
00:35:38.000 Forget this.
00:35:39.000 The final.
00:35:40.000 Ah!
00:35:43.000 Damn you, CBS!
00:35:49.000 I can't believe he did that.
00:35:50.000 I know.
00:35:51.000 I mean, I can't believe he blamed CBS.
00:35:53.000 Like, we just saw.
00:35:53.000 I can't believe I missed that on that last show.
00:35:55.000 I know.
00:35:57.000 Here's the truth.
00:35:58.000 So, we're being poisoned.
00:35:59.000 No, the truth is, you guys are losing the networks tens of millions of dollars.
00:36:04.000 In Colbert's case, it was 40 million.
00:36:05.000 And we actually have done some math on you, Kimmel, so I understand why you're protesting.
00:36:09.000 Here's a statement from CBS specifically with Variety.
00:36:13.000 They said, With this time buy model, because the time that was Colbert in the past, it's now been replaced by Byron Allen, who's buying that airtime for $15 million.
00:36:21.000 He said, with the time buy model, we have shifted an hour that was losing roughly $40 million annually to $15 million in profit, a $55 million swing.
00:36:33.000 There you go.
00:36:36.000 That's pretty clear.
00:36:37.000 Lose $40 million, make $15 million.
00:36:40.000 Far be it from me to say that Byron Allen is a comedic genius or that this show.
00:36:45.000 Is going to bring back the quality of a bygone era.
00:36:48.000 No, the network can't keep hemorrhaging money, and Byron Allen's going to buy the airtime.
00:36:53.000 Yeah.
00:36:53.000 And by the way, they also get the benefit of not having to deal with Colbert.
00:36:56.000 It's nice.
00:36:56.000 That's exactly right.
00:36:57.000 Now, keep in mind that Colbert, he had a salary, I believe his salary was somewhere around $15 million.
00:37:03.000 He had 200 employees, including 24 writers.
00:37:08.000 But Kimmel.
00:37:09.000 24?
00:37:10.000 Yeah, Kimmel said that CBS was lying.
00:37:13.000 That this was not a financial decision.
00:37:14.000 He said, Am I to believe that over the course of those two years, They suddenly started losing $40 million a year.
00:37:20.000 These are just made up numbers.
00:37:22.000 And then I realized well, first off, yeah, that can happen.
00:37:26.000 Just to be, this is super obvious.
00:37:27.000 Like, sure, you can lose a little bit of money.
00:37:30.000 This is any business.
00:37:31.000 And then you hope to make it back.
00:37:32.000 When you realize there's no hope of making it back because the host is not going to take a pay cut.
00:37:36.000 They're not going to downsize to compete in a more fluid market, a more mobile, a more fast developing and evolving market.
00:37:43.000 Then you say, okay, well, looks like we've played all of our cards.
00:37:46.000 This isn't going to, they just made up the numbers.
00:37:48.000 And that brings me to I know why Kimmel is playing dumb and or lying.
00:37:52.000 Because here's the claim that he makes that his show is making money.
00:37:58.000 He wants you to believe that.
00:37:59.000 It's not like when Leno Carson or even, he said, sorry, when Johnny Carson or even Jay Leno were raking in the dollars.
00:38:06.000 That's what he's, what is he even saying?
00:38:07.000 He's saying, I was quite specifically told by ABC that Jimmy Kimmel Live is profitable.
00:38:14.000 I understand why he protests too much because here's the truth.
00:38:14.000 That's what he said.
00:38:18.000 Or really, a theory.
00:38:20.000 So everything else, I've given you the references.
00:38:22.000 I can't prove the theory here that Kimmel is absolutely losing ABC money.
00:38:29.000 But I'll explain to you why I'm pretty confident in it.
00:38:32.000 Doing some basic math.
00:38:34.000 Okay.
00:38:35.000 Salary, Colbert, like we listed before.
00:38:37.000 Check the references.
00:38:37.000 $15 million.
00:38:38.000 Viewership was about $2.7 million.
00:38:40.000 Staff, about $200 million.
00:38:41.000 Budget was about $100 million.
00:38:44.000 He was losing the network $40 million a year.
00:38:47.000 Okay.
00:38:48.000 Do we have apples to apples comparisons with everything else and just not the network yet saying we're losing?
00:38:55.000 Yes, we do.
00:38:56.000 So let's look at the salary of Kimmel.
00:38:58.000 Colbert, $15 million.
00:38:59.000 Kimmel, $16 million.
00:39:00.000 Oh.
00:39:01.000 Viewership.
00:39:02.000 Slightly lower, $2.7 million from Colbert, $2.4 million from Kimmel, but that's including the bump with the controversy.
00:39:08.000 It's typically right around $2 million, a bad day, $1.5 million.
00:39:12.000 Staff, Colbert was $200 million, Kimmel's $200 to $250,000.
00:39:17.000 You look at budget, Colbert was about $100 million, Kimmel's about $120 million.
00:39:22.000 So if I were to estimate the losses for Kimmel with all of the direct apples to apples comparisons just on the show alone, he is, I would bet my bottom dollar, losing ABC $60 to $70 million a year.
00:39:36.000 Slightly more than Colbert.
00:39:37.000 They told me, though, that I'm making the money.
00:39:41.000 At what point do you just take some accountability and go, you know what?
00:39:45.000 Turns out I suck.
00:39:47.000 Not after 23 years.
00:39:47.000 At what point?
00:39:49.000 Yeah.
00:39:49.000 Has he been doing it for 23 years?
00:39:50.000 He's been on the air for 23 years.
00:39:51.000 Oh, my God.
00:39:52.000 I remember when he was new and people were like, yeah, this isn't going to work.
00:39:54.000 23 years of that show, yeah.
00:39:56.000 Wow.
00:39:57.000 And he's like, I'm not going anywhere.
00:39:59.000 I'm not retiring.
00:39:59.000 I'm not going anywhere.
00:40:01.000 Right.
00:40:01.000 Oh, yeah.
00:40:02.000 Yeah, just ensure that the next guy doesn't get a chance at batting.
00:40:05.000 Yeah, exactly.
00:40:05.000 Who's willing to take less but be more competitive.
00:40:07.000 Just do that.
00:40:08.000 Just.
00:40:09.000 Drag the ladder up behind you.
00:40:11.000 Now, here's the truth.
00:40:12.000 You could look at those numbers.
00:40:13.000 Of course, it's just a non viable entity in today's marketplace, late night on network television.
00:40:21.000 And they've chosen to deem themselves so important as gestures of the court who must be followed that it must be some kind of oppression.
00:40:30.000 It couldn't be a simple financial decision.
00:40:32.000 Well, let me present to you exhibits C through Z after we've gone through the finances.
00:40:38.000 Here may be some examples as to why people, certainly half of the country, Most of whom tuned into Carson and shows like Leno, even for a long time, Conan or Letterman before they became old and grumpy.
00:40:50.000 They were politically neutral, relatively speaking.
00:40:53.000 Here may be one of the reasons why half of the country is guaranteed to never tune into your show, hence costing the network money.
00:41:10.000 If hospitals get any more overcrowded, they're going to have to make some very tough choices about who gets an ICU bed.
00:41:16.000 That choice doesn't seem so tough to me.
00:41:18.000 Vaccinated person having a heart attack?
00:41:20.000 Yes, come right on in.
00:41:21.000 We'll take care of you.
00:41:22.000 Unvaccinated guy who gobbled horse goo?
00:41:25.000 Rest in peace, Wheezy.
00:41:39.000 It's for dogs, don't play chess.
00:41:40.000 It looks like a sign language gorilla who got hit in the head.
00:41:43.000 In fact, the only thing your mouth is good for is being Vladimir Putin's holster.
00:41:47.000 We hit some new lows over the weekend with the MAGA gang desperately trying to characterize this kid who murdered Charlie Kirk as anything other than one of them and doing everything they can to score political points from it.
00:41:59.000 Well, it happened again.
00:42:06.000 After a bizarre and vicious campaign fueled by a desperate need not to go to jail, Donald Trump has won the 20th.
00:42:12.000 That's right, more than half the country, but I'm a little bit because I wear striped shirts.
00:42:17.000 I've worn these heart sunglasses because my daughters, just as a joke, they have them, and as a joke, I put them on.
00:42:23.000 So I've done this.
00:42:24.000 And I love Yacht Rock and being brief.
00:42:27.000 What do we got?
00:42:27.000 There we go.
00:42:28.000 What do we got today?
00:42:29.000 Oh, it's steamed chicken.
00:42:31.000 Hey!
00:42:31.000 There we go.
00:42:32.000 Lewis.
00:42:39.000 Now, just to be clear, before I get to the montage of Kimmel crying and then crapping on someone running for mayor who actually made Do something about the fires.
00:42:48.000 I want to be clear.
00:42:49.000 I've said this many times, and I catch some flack from people on the right.
00:42:51.000 Like, John Oliver is funny.
00:42:52.000 John Stewart is funny.
00:42:53.000 There are plenty of people on the left who are legitimately funny.
00:42:56.000 Kimmel, Colbert, Fallon aren't, he's politically neutral, let's say.
00:43:01.000 They're not amongst them.
00:43:03.000 And I'll give you some examples of people who are on the left, but are viable because they're A, funny, and B, not incredibly greedy.
00:43:14.000 It's always these people who are like, ah, these billionaires.
00:43:17.000 You're making $16 million a year.
00:43:21.000 Do you think you could take two?
00:43:25.000 That's crazy.
00:43:26.000 Come on, dude.
00:43:27.000 Take five.
00:43:27.000 Could that staff instead of 200 be 50?
00:43:32.000 Could the writing staff instead of 24 be 10?
00:43:36.000 Because, congratulations, you still have a bloated staff that's about 10 to 15 times larger than any podcast host kicking your ass.
00:43:46.000 But here's a very special category of Jimmy Kimmel.
00:43:48.000 Here he is crying because he feels that that's a big part of comedy.
00:43:52.000 And his performative crying.
00:43:53.000 And I want you to specifically pay attention to the last clip where he's crying regarding the fires that had taken place, you know, in Los Angeles County and across California.
00:44:05.000 Because then the next clip is relevant.
00:44:06.000 Take a break from tax cuts for a minute and fully fund Chip immediately.
00:44:10.000 These people who were looking out for their neighbors.
00:44:14.000 More than half of this country voted for the criminal.
00:44:17.000 I posted a message on Instagram of the day he was killed, sending love to his family.
00:44:21.000 Oh, it has been a.
00:44:24.000 Very scary, very stressful, very strange week here in LA.
00:44:28.000 Where we work, where we live, where our kids go to school.
00:44:33.000 We are back in our studio, which we had to evacuate on Wednesday.
00:44:37.000 That's our building right there, the El Capitan.
00:44:40.000 That is how close this fire was to our theater here.
00:44:44.000 Many of us had to leave our homes in a hurry.
00:44:47.000 Some of our co workers lost their homes.
00:44:51.000 That's Hollywood.
00:44:53.000 Yeah.
00:44:54.000 Now, I understand being upset.
00:44:56.000 It's kind of your job.
00:44:56.000 Here's the thing.
00:44:59.000 If there's a national tragedy like 9 11, a somber moment is not out of line.
00:45:04.000 It's not lost on me.
00:45:06.000 Kimmel cried at moments when it was never called for whatsoever.
00:45:11.000 He chose, because it's your job as a comedian, as an entertainer, as a host, to help the people who maybe feel like they want to cry.
00:45:19.000 It's your job to turn that tear, hopefully, into a smile.
00:45:23.000 If someone feels alone, if someone feels hopeless, It's your job to help ease that a little bit.
00:45:29.000 As a matter of fact, that's the only purpose you serve as an entertainer or comedian.
00:45:32.000 You're not curing cancer.
00:45:34.000 And so, when you talk about just that last clip, hey, fires, yeah, I can let that's upsetting.
00:45:39.000 Now, remember, the left immediately blamed it on climate change.
00:45:43.000 But we now know, beyond any shadow of a doubt, it is the incompetent government of California, of Los Angeles County.
00:45:50.000 They weren't allowed to clear brush in the name of environmentalism.
00:45:53.000 The California State Park Superintendent Richard Fink said that the state doesn't clear brush because we're here to protect the natural habitat.
00:46:00.000 And they wouldn't allow residents to do it, including residents who could see the concern for their neighborhood and their house.
00:46:06.000 It was exacerbated by the fact that.
00:46:08.000 That the reservoirs, the water reservoirs, were completely empty.
00:46:11.000 Why?
00:46:12.000 Because of a fish that can't even swim and a whole thing to do with the dams.
00:46:17.000 Go check the reference.
00:46:17.000 The point is if you want to keep your citizens safe as a government and you know that fires are very likely, you make sure to clear the brush.
00:46:25.000 You make sure that on hand, you ideally have water or some type of anti fire liquid solution, if there's a better one.
00:46:34.000 Gas.
00:46:35.000 Just let us know.
00:46:37.000 Oh, alcohol, if it's enough.
00:46:38.000 But that quote is telling.
00:46:39.000 We're here to protect the natural habitat, not our citizens.
00:46:42.000 That's what's missing from it, not our citizens.
00:46:42.000 Right.
00:46:44.000 Everything is prioritized, not our citizens.
00:46:46.000 Well, and here's the reason that that matters crying, never any accountability.
00:46:51.000 You know what, actually, this is kind of.
00:46:53.000 I was crying and now I'm really mad because I realize what exacerbated these fires, our government.
00:46:59.000 Instead, he targets and insults the one person running for mayor of Los Angeles whose own home actually burned down and was very likely legitimately crying, Spencer Pratt.
00:47:12.000 And then we have a guy named Spencer Pratt running for mayor who unfortunately.
00:47:17.000 Is the Spencer Pratt from the reality shows?
00:47:21.000 After tomorrow, Spencer Pratt will either be one of two candidates for mayor or a carrot on the next season of The Masked Singer.
00:47:28.000 We'll see.
00:47:29.000 The polling shows that he's in a very tight race with Karen Bass and Nithya Rahman.
00:47:33.000 How that is possible, I have no idea.
00:47:35.000 I mean, I get why people are mad, but has anyone ever made a good decision when they're mad?
00:47:42.000 Yeah.
00:47:43.000 Plenty.
00:47:44.000 Not always, but sometimes.
00:47:46.000 Sometimes.
00:47:46.000 It's dead in the harbor, bro.
00:47:47.000 Sometimes.
00:47:48.000 But here's the thing it's not like people are making a decision when they're mad.
00:47:51.000 It's.
00:47:51.000 People were mad.
00:47:53.000 Yeah.
00:47:54.000 Then they listened to your bullshit, right?
00:47:55.000 People were mad, like, ah, my God, my house burned down.
00:47:57.000 Not you, of course.
00:47:58.000 But they're like, my house burned down.
00:48:00.000 I'm angry.
00:48:01.000 And then you said, it's because of global warming.
00:48:04.000 And they're like, ah, let's sign the Green New Deal or whatever the fuck.
00:48:07.000 And then they went, oh, wait, water reservoir.
00:48:10.000 Wait, the reservoirs to be filled with water don't have any of it?
00:48:15.000 Why is that?
00:48:16.000 Wait a second.
00:48:17.000 Brush that we know will guaranteed lead to fires, wildfires?
00:48:22.000 It can't be cleared?
00:48:23.000 Why is that?
00:48:24.000 Before I was angry, But now I'm educated, so I'm actually angry with the people who miseducated me.
00:48:32.000 I'm angry with you.
00:48:34.000 That's why it's close, Jimmy.
00:48:36.000 It's also reducing it to you're mad.
00:48:39.000 No, I'm homeless.
00:48:41.000 Right.
00:48:41.000 My house burned down.
00:48:43.000 You're mad.
00:48:43.000 Right.
00:48:44.000 No, I don't want people shooting up next to my kids' school, leaving the noodle there.
00:48:50.000 Right.
00:48:51.000 Yeah, exactly.
00:48:51.000 Or their noodles.
00:48:52.000 Yeah.
00:48:52.000 I don't want their leftover noodles either.
00:48:54.000 Yeah, so people.
00:48:55.000 That's not mad.
00:48:55.000 That's fed up.
00:48:56.000 That's concerned.
00:48:57.000 That's scared.
00:48:59.000 Right.
00:48:59.000 That's exactly right.
00:49:00.000 Well, the left will just, and they'll warp it.
00:49:01.000 They'll go, oh, what?
00:49:02.000 So you're scared of Trent?
00:49:03.000 No, I'm not.
00:49:04.000 Are you homophobic?
00:49:06.000 No.
00:49:07.000 You're mad?
00:49:08.000 You're mad that your house burned down?
00:49:10.000 Okay, let me be really clear here.
00:49:11.000 It's not just some kind of emotion devoid of logic, you know, like feminism.
00:49:16.000 It is, I don't agree that this is the best way to function as a society, you know, sexual degeneracy, and so I'm voting against it.
00:49:25.000 I'm not mad.
00:49:27.000 I am righteously frustrated and exhausted with a government that has never gotten it right and put me at risk, and so I am voting for a correction.
00:49:36.000 Now, if you want to say that that's anger, if you want to say that that's phobia, fine.
00:49:41.000 Now, argue the logic, argue the rationale.
00:49:46.000 The left doesn't.
00:49:47.000 So, whenever the left tries to do this with you, and you, you know, I had this with Change My Mind, where you are clear about definitions, about terms, and they go, Why are you playing semantics?
00:49:57.000 They're trying to prevent you from doing.
00:49:59.000 Exactly that, which is what they do, and it's the only way they ever win an argument.
00:50:05.000 That was to go, you're just homophobic.
00:50:07.000 You just vote for a special prat because you're mad.
00:50:09.000 That's why you go, no, hold on a second.
00:50:10.000 Define mad.
00:50:11.000 Define phobic.
00:50:12.000 Why semantics?
00:50:13.000 Because you're trying to dismiss my entire point of view, which is far more well reasoned, with a new made up term.
00:50:20.000 You don't get to say mad and phobic if I'm right.
00:50:25.000 Let me ask you this why were the water reservoirs empty?
00:50:30.000 Why are we not allowed to?
00:50:32.000 Do controlled burns?
00:50:34.000 And why have we had so many horrible wildfires?
00:50:37.000 What policy do you think has led to this, if any?
00:50:41.000 It wasn't happenstance.
00:50:42.000 Right.
00:50:43.000 It wasn't a coincidence.
00:50:44.000 Yeah.
00:50:45.000 So don't let them get it like your emotions.
00:50:47.000 The left is entirely the party of emotion.
00:50:49.000 Force them to argue the actual logic, the actual reasoning of the argument.
00:50:54.000 And here's the thing, too.
00:50:55.000 This is why these shows are very unsuccessful.
00:50:57.000 There are leftist shows, liberal shows that are successful.
00:50:59.000 So let me give you a really clear example.
00:51:01.000 My favorite one.
00:51:02.000 I have said this very often, and conservatives will get it.
00:51:04.000 John Stewart is one of the best.
00:51:06.000 He's funny.
00:51:06.000 Yeah.
00:51:07.000 So, Jon Stewart, you know, from 99 to 2015 hosted The Daily Show.
00:51:11.000 It was like around two, two and a half million, okay, to be clear.
00:51:16.000 Now, Trevor Noah came in his first year, 1.1 million.
00:51:21.000 And by his final season, it dropped to 380,000.
00:51:25.000 Ad revenue dropped by as much as 90%.
00:51:27.000 So, Trevor Noah took a gift, crapped all over it because he wasn't funny, and failed.
00:51:33.000 Jon Stewart, he's now actually brought the numbers back up to only when he hosts 1.2 million.
00:51:37.000 That's on Mondays.
00:51:38.000 He hosts on Mondays.
00:51:40.000 Now, granted, it's not going to be as big as.
00:51:41.000 Two and a half, but that's in the 90s and early 2000s where there weren't as many options.
00:51:45.000 1.2 million is a very respectable number on cable.
00:51:49.000 Trevor Noah couldn't maintain that because he sucks.
00:51:51.000 Jon Stewart doesn't suck.
00:51:53.000 I disagree with Jon Stewart.
00:51:54.000 He's very good.
00:51:56.000 You can see this with plenty of other hosts.
00:51:57.000 Just not Jimmy Kimmel.
00:51:59.000 Just not Stephen Colbert.
00:52:02.000 Certainly not Fallon.
00:52:03.000 And as you see, certainly not Trevor Noah.
00:52:05.000 You still have to be good.
00:52:07.000 Claptor can't be enough always.
00:52:10.000 And that's why it's dying.
00:52:13.000 It's not.
00:52:14.000 Someone poisoning you.
00:52:16.000 And I really, this is an actual call to anyone left in late night.
00:52:21.000 If you're on the chopping block, I would like to see a single person, because we've not seen this yet, offer to cut their salary in a way that would be actually proportional with the viewership.
00:52:34.000 If it was a podcast, you could have, you could actually have some auditors come in, right?
00:52:37.000 Valuators go, okay.
00:52:38.000 If you had a show online that averaged about, you know, really, let's talk about one point something million.
00:52:44.000 Okay, this would be the staff.
00:52:45.000 This would be about the average income and ad revenue, which is far more appropriate than these below.
00:52:50.000 I would love to see one of these hosts go, you know what?
00:52:52.000 I'll take the pay cut, and keeping a third or a fifth of the staff is better than none.
00:52:58.000 Let's actually try and do this right.
00:53:00.000 You want to be subsidized.
00:53:03.000 That's the problem.
00:53:05.000 No one should care about money except for the guy who hasn't earned it.
00:53:10.000 I got to keep my 15 mil.
00:53:13.000 All right.
00:53:15.000 The rest of us will actually have to earn our keep.
00:53:18.000 How about that?
00:53:18.000 The network is just trying to save money.
00:53:22.000 It's that simple.
00:53:22.000 As should you on your mortgage.
00:53:30.000 My girl likes it.
00:53:30.000 Whoa.
00:53:34.000 What up, fam?
00:53:35.000 It's your boy D Day, aka the D Rider, aka the Devastator, aka the Driveway Don.
00:53:43.000 And we out here in the streets.
00:53:44.000 And today, I'm blessing y'all with an exclusive tour of the brand new Wick.
00:53:49.000 Yeah, you feel me?
00:53:50.000 It's got the custom sliding door so the whole crew can roll up.
00:53:53.000 Got the tanning window so you can't see me count my stacks?
00:53:56.000 Brrrrr!
00:53:57.000 Daryl, did you spill G Fuel on the upholstery again?
00:54:01.000 Dad, shut up!
00:54:03.000 I'm doing a whip tour!
00:54:05.000 Yes, my assistant is just prepping the vehicle.
00:54:07.000 You know what I'm saying?
00:54:08.000 Cause we finna hit the club, drop some bands.
00:54:10.000 You know how we do?
00:54:11.000 You don't have any bands, Daryl.
00:54:13.000 You have a jar of loose change you stole from my nightstand.
00:54:16.000 Your mother has water aerobics in 20 minutes and she needs the Odyssey.
00:54:20.000 Man, I don't need no Odyssey!
00:54:22.000 I'm an independent mogul!
00:54:24.000 I'm finna upgrade to the Bentley as soon as my track goes platinum on SoundCloud!
00:54:28.000 You need to call American Financing.
00:54:30.000 They can help you get a mortgage even in this economy so you can finally get your own house and stop leaving empty hot pocket boxes in my garage.
00:54:38.000 You just jealous because my rims keep spinning and your hairline keep thinning.
00:54:42.000 I swear to God, when I roll up on you, I'm going to leave you in a chalk outline, old man.
00:54:46.000 I'm sorry.
00:54:47.000 I said I'll back you.
00:54:48.000 That's what I said.
00:54:49.000 I said I'll back you.
00:54:50.000 Call the pros at American Financing today at 1 800 974 6500 or visit www.americanfinancing.net slash Crowder.
00:54:59.000 NMLS 182 334.
00:55:02.000 If you start today, you may even delay up to two mortgage payments.
00:55:06.000 True.
00:55:06.000 A lot of people have saved money in American financing.
00:55:09.000 Like we have known so many people.
00:55:13.000 I haven't used it because I make $50 million a year.
00:55:19.000 Wait.
00:55:20.000 How did that get by me?
00:55:21.000 Yeah.
00:55:22.000 Well, he doesn't need to take a pay cut because he's not on the chopping block.
00:55:25.000 That's true.
00:55:26.000 That's true.
00:55:27.000 But I'd have to put everyone on the chopping block because, hey, your support.
00:55:31.000 Less than that budget overall for everything here, including what I pay myself, because we're actually governed and determined by you and your support.
00:55:38.000 You can click that button right there, join Rumble Premium.
00:55:40.000 Supported by viewers like you, not a foreign caliphate.
00:55:43.000 No one's robbing anyone else like Camel or Colbert, allegedly.
00:55:46.000 And keeps the lights on.
00:55:47.000 It's $99 a year.
00:55:48.000 You get everything ad free, 100% more show, as well as obviously the Friday show, every other content creator you see there, and this wonderful hand at schmuck, or try it for $9 a month.
00:55:57.000 And that will determine Gerald's salary andor debt load moving forward.
00:56:03.000 No.
00:56:04.000 And that's not funding 24 writers, by the way.
00:56:07.000 No, it's not.
00:56:08.000 It's funding for the first time two in addition to on the comedy.
00:56:13.000 Well, if you count the researchers, it's four, five, yeah.
00:56:16.000 Anywhere from 20 to 30 employees at any given time total.
00:56:20.000 And everyone is very multifaceted.
00:56:22.000 We all actually work as a team.
00:56:24.000 But as far as just sitting down on any sketches, it was me for the longest time.
00:56:27.000 It was me, and then you and Johnny Boy.
00:56:30.000 And I'm like, oh, man, two.
00:56:33.000 Let me put it this way.
00:56:34.000 Compared to kill yourself.
00:56:35.000 Every morning, because there was a blank page staring at you.
00:56:38.000 At one point in time, yes.
00:56:39.000 And it's certainly far from that.
00:56:40.000 Thank you, everyone, who's made my life less of a miserable hellscape.
00:56:44.000 Now, speaking of miserable hellscapes, just less.
00:56:47.000 Not completely clear of it.
00:56:49.000 Let me, I'm going to riddle me this.
00:56:53.000 What do these countries andor states have in common?
00:56:58.000 Mexico, Colombia, Texas, all of the United States, and Until pretty much the year 2000.
00:57:08.000 Even North Korea, same day election results.
00:57:13.000 California not amongst them.
00:57:14.000 As a matter of fact, I should say, North Korea is so efficient, they announced their election results the day before elections.
00:57:21.000 Pretty much.
00:57:22.000 That makes it easy, yeah.
00:57:23.000 No, no, no.
00:57:24.000 It's a choose your own path.
00:57:25.000 Always go back to the same path.
00:57:27.000 So, why can't California get anything right?
00:57:30.000 And why are they not able to match the exemplary standard set by Mexico and Colombia, where they have 401ks for drug trafficking?
00:57:42.000 It's time for the golden state of crime.
00:57:44.000 California.
00:58:00.000 So last night, California primary elections, including, you know, governor, and obviously people have been following the mayor of Los Angeles.
00:58:06.000 We'll get to the results, but headline here's from the Los Angeles Times is vote count for California governor, LA mayor could be painfully slow.
00:58:15.000 Don't expect instant gratification.
00:58:18.000 So it's your fault, you dumb prick.
00:58:22.000 Aww.
00:58:23.000 I expected instant.
00:58:24.000 The elitist, it never ends, the elitism.
00:58:26.000 And I know some of you are thinking that's fake.
00:58:28.000 Check the reference.
00:58:29.000 That's why we make.
00:58:30.000 These things are available every single day when we stream 11 a.m. Eastern.
00:58:33.000 Link is in the description.
00:58:35.000 Let's look at the results now, but don't expect instant gratification.
00:58:39.000 You know how you always voted and you'd get the result, and that's obviously something that's necessary and has been necessary historically to guarantee the integrity of election.
00:58:49.000 Don't expect that, entitled bitch.
00:58:53.000 I gotta take a lunch break.
00:58:54.000 That's right.
00:58:55.000 That's right.
00:58:55.000 I heard a pipe burst.
00:58:57.000 Simmer down.
00:58:58.000 So, Governor, 57% of the vote as of the time of this broadcast, I believe.
00:59:02.000 Could have changed since we've been live, has been counted.
00:59:05.000 What we have now is Steve Hilton, the Republican, 28%.
00:59:10.000 Javier Becerra, 25%.
00:59:14.000 Of course, the Democrat, Tom Steyer, 20%.
00:59:16.000 Chad Bianco, another Republican, 11%.
00:59:18.000 So right now, Steve Hilton seems to be winning as far as governor of California.
00:59:22.000 And I will say, you know, Steyer, the Democrat, is struggling.
00:59:26.000 His election day post on X may seem to get him over the hump, which, you know, what actually brings us to, for people who can't see it, it brings us to Gerald Reid's stuff.
00:59:36.000 Thank you.
00:59:44.000 All right, Billy, get the music.
00:59:45.000 Let's read what he wrote.
00:59:47.000 Good public transit is key for an affordable city, walkable city.
00:59:52.000 That's why I'm writing the D on Election Day.
00:59:55.000 Oh, my gosh.
00:59:56.000 This has been Gerald Reed's stuff because he can't help himself.
01:00:06.000 Sustained.
01:00:09.000 I demand instant gratification, y'all.
01:00:11.000 I demand gratification.
01:00:14.000 What are you saying?
01:00:15.000 Pawnee!
01:00:15.000 Did you just watch a pirate movie?
01:00:19.000 Maybe.
01:00:23.000 We all know he loves a good train.
01:00:26.000 Oh, jeez.
01:00:27.000 Looking for booty.
01:00:28.000 Yeah.
01:00:30.000 I mean, thank God, I mean, that Miss, you know, she should be, she has a future doing ads for Ozepic.
01:00:37.000 Katie Porter, her performance was so as 4% that she was, in fact, even though they haven't been called in, she has been forced to concede.
01:00:44.000 Here you go.
01:00:45.000 Hi, it's Katie Porter.
01:00:46.000 Tonight is election night.
01:00:48.000 The votes are still being counted.
01:00:49.000 But you hate it.
01:00:50.000 And it may take a few days here in California to have final numbers.
01:00:54.000 But we know tonight that we will not advance to the general election in November.
01:00:59.000 As I look back on this race, I am so incredibly proud of the campaign that we built together.
01:01:06.000 Why?
01:01:09.000 Are you proud of all those staffers you ran through?
01:01:11.000 Yeah, no kidding.
01:01:12.000 Why are you proud?
01:01:16.000 Did the definition of proud change?
01:01:18.000 It must have.
01:01:19.000 It must have.
01:01:20.000 We're so proud.
01:01:21.000 Doing so bad.
01:01:22.000 Being dead last.
01:01:23.000 I think she meant it in the sense of pride.
01:01:26.000 She's not proud of her work.
01:01:28.000 She's just saying, we're super gay.
01:01:30.000 Yes.
01:01:31.000 Yes.
01:01:32.000 That's something.
01:01:33.000 Maybe proud just means exist.
01:01:37.000 I guess.
01:01:38.000 We are so.
01:01:40.000 We existed.
01:01:41.000 We so existed at a point in time.
01:01:45.000 And now we're not going to.
01:01:47.000 She did, however, and I feel partially responsible for this.
01:01:51.000 She did have to kind of deal with some hurdles.
01:01:54.000 And she didn't mention the Oppo research hit piece that truly sunk her campaign, which came from here.
01:02:04.000 Hang on one second, everybody.
01:02:14.000 I don't want to keep doing this.
01:02:15.000 I'm going to call it.
01:02:17.000 Come on, guys.
01:02:18.000 This is sad.
01:02:19.000 This is really sad.
01:02:20.000 Think about it.
01:02:21.000 Now her kids have to spend more time with her.
01:02:22.000 That's true.
01:02:26.000 Mom's going to be home now.
01:02:29.000 Oh, God.
01:02:30.000 Where's Dad?
01:02:31.000 Give her her staff.
01:02:34.000 By the way, we have done no other scatological jokes throughout this entire show because of the fact that you earn one and it's still funny.
01:02:40.000 So let's go to the mayor race.
01:02:43.000 63% counted for Los Angeles mayor.
01:02:45.000 Karen Bass, 35% is where it stands right now.
01:02:48.000 Spencer Pratt.
01:02:48.000 30%.
01:02:50.000 Raman at 22%.
01:02:53.000 So, just to be clear, Pratt should be advancing, right?
01:02:58.000 Well, I don't know.
01:02:59.000 It depends on those magical mail in votes.
01:03:02.000 Remember, the final piece of the puzzle that we won't know tonight, right, is the late arriving vote by mail.
01:03:10.000 And we're talking about probably like a third of the vote in Los Angeles.
01:03:13.000 We're probably not going to be getting until tomorrow and maybe days to come after tomorrow.
01:03:18.000 The mail can still come in after Election Day.
01:03:21.000 And there's indications, and there's certainly a ton of precedent here, that that late arriving vote by mail is going to be significantly more Democratic friendly than all of the other votes.
01:03:32.000 Meaning, that would be good news for Bass.
01:03:35.000 That would be good news for Rahman.
01:03:37.000 If she's going to come out of tonight behind Pratt, it's a huge if.
01:03:40.000 But if she's going to come out of tonight behind Pratt, well, it's not a huge if at this point.
01:03:45.000 She would then have the opportunity, if she's close enough, to catch him with that.
01:03:48.000 But that is a 25,000 vote pad there.
01:03:51.000 Eight percentage points that Pratt has managed to build.
01:03:54.000 With that vote by mail here.
01:03:57.000 Yeah.
01:03:57.000 And they always say, right, they always say those mail in votes, we're expecting them to lean Democrat.
01:04:01.000 Pretty much always.
01:04:03.000 And so either that's true, which begs a question well, why would the mail in votes always be Democrat?
01:04:10.000 Or it's not true.
01:04:12.000 Now, I will say sometimes it's column A, sometimes it's column B. In the case of people voting for Hump, well, it's a lot easier for other people to go out effectively canvas and go, look, just fill this out.
01:04:21.000 We're going to send in a ballot and not verify it.
01:04:24.000 The laziest way of voting, and it's the laziest way of harvesting votes from people who don't care but can be bought for a sandwich.
01:04:33.000 So, 80% of votes are cast by mail.
01:04:36.000 This comes from the New York Times in California.
01:04:37.000 Ballots received close to or on election day, as well as those postmarked by election day and received within seven days, can take up to 30 days to be counted.
01:04:46.000 Why?
01:04:48.000 Why?
01:04:49.000 Because counting is hard.
01:04:50.000 Yeah.
01:04:51.000 Shit, whatever.
01:04:52.000 By the way, how is it harder?
01:04:55.000 To count them today than when they were hand ballots and you didn't have machines that did it for you.
01:05:04.000 It's harder today to run absentee voting, which is different, but that's how it should be.
01:05:12.000 It's harder today to count votes than it was in the 90s, 80s, 70s, 60s, 50s, 40s, 1800s.
01:05:23.000 Why?
01:05:24.000 Without electricity.
01:05:27.000 Either way, Pratt likes his shot.
01:05:32.000 Yeah, he's very, very good at this.
01:05:47.000 If he doesn't win this, he's going to do something, I would imagine, in the future.
01:05:50.000 He's shown himself to be pretty effective at campaigning.
01:05:54.000 I will say the reason that this matters, and we're going to have to go pretty soon and talk about why Steph Curry sucks.
01:06:00.000 The reason this matters is because so many people, especially generationally, if you are a parent or you have kids, nephews, nieces, grandchildren in their teens, it's incumbent upon you to make sure that they really understand this is not normal.
01:06:17.000 This idea of mass mail in voting, you are being conditioned to accept a system designed to accommodate fraud as normal.
01:06:26.000 It's never been normal, it's still not normal across the globe.
01:06:30.000 It really will never be normal outside of municipalities or countries where elections are not legitimate.
01:06:37.000 There's a reason for in person voting.
01:06:39.000 There's a reason for hard copies of ballots.
01:06:42.000 There's a reason for this, just like there's a reason for the Electoral College.
01:06:46.000 And I really, really would caution against anyone who just sort of skims over this, which brings us to it's not complicated, some solutions.
01:06:57.000 Okay, here's how you solve it.
01:06:58.000 This is not a difficult problem.
01:07:00.000 You ban mail in voting.
01:07:01.000 That's step one.
01:07:02.000 Boom!
01:07:03.000 Gone.
01:07:04.000 Of course.
01:07:05.000 Absentee voters, legitimate.
01:07:07.000 That's always been a thing.
01:07:09.000 You're out of country, you're on a business trip, you know you won't be here, you know you'll be out of state.
01:07:14.000 We have a system for that.
01:07:15.000 That is not the same as sending in ballots to addresses that can't be verified.
01:07:20.000 That's why I got some old ballots sent to Michigan and I don't know if a vote was cast there or not.
01:07:26.000 Step number two require voter ID, proof of citizenship.
01:07:32.000 Okay, do that.
01:07:35.000 Run elections on the same day.
01:07:36.000 Like Mexico and Colombia.
01:07:38.000 And those are awful places.
01:07:40.000 This has been my crazy solution.
01:07:48.000 It was a short segment.
01:07:49.000 Very short.
01:07:49.000 Just two things.
01:07:50.000 Yeah.
01:07:51.000 Will it fix all of it?
01:07:52.000 It'll fix about 80%, probably 90%.
01:07:54.000 Yes.
01:07:55.000 Probably 90%.
01:07:55.000 Just do it like Florida does.
01:07:57.000 Same day.
01:07:58.000 Yep.
01:07:58.000 Should be easy.
01:07:59.000 Yep.
01:08:00.000 Idiots.
01:08:01.000 Exactly right.
01:08:02.000 And we are going to, again, if you have not joined Rumble Prim, click that button right there.
01:08:06.000 And you get to continue with us.
01:08:07.000 We'll be taking your chat and also talking about.
01:08:09.000 I used to feel bad for Steph Curry.
01:08:12.000 Why?
01:08:12.000 Oh, because his wife's a bitch.
01:08:13.000 Yeah, I forgot about that.
01:08:15.000 And what do I mean by that?
01:08:16.000 I mean, she goes on podcasts and publicly trashes her husband all the time.
01:08:21.000 I don't just mean she has a tone I don't like, I mean, she's a bad spouse.
01:08:27.000 Okay.
01:08:28.000 So I used to feel bad for him.
01:08:30.000 Now I feel badly about him because he just couldn't help himself from trying to squeeze out an extra.
01:08:39.000 Few dollars, even though he's crazy wealthy, so he decided to what?
01:08:43.000 What?
01:08:44.000 Oh, work with communist China.
01:08:46.000 The next stage is set.
01:08:50.000 This is bigger than a shoe deal, bigger than the signature series.
01:08:55.000 This is the partnership of a lifetime.
01:08:59.000 The future of Curry Brand will be powered by a company truly rooted in sports and by tanning hands and slave labor.
01:09:06.000 Let's go.