Louder with Crowder - June 26, 2026


The Friday Show: We Finally Answer the "Man or Bear" Question


Episode Stats


Length

21 minutes

Words per minute

142.55

Word count

3,079

Sentence count

375


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Transcript

Transcripts from "Louder with Crowder" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. Explore them interactively here.
00:00:03.000 But my
00:04:44.000 80 fishers are tender.
00:04:46.000 Hey, hey, boo boo.
00:04:47.000 You can't make a Folsom Street picnic basket without a crack and a couple of eggs.
00:04:51.000 But Yogi, my anal prolapse drags when I walk.
00:04:56.000 Better bear up, boo boo.
00:04:58.000 We gotta go sneak into the park to prepare for the parade.
00:05:01.000 Oh, Yogi.
00:05:08.000 F it!
00:05:10.000 Click Rumble Premium and join now for $99 annually or $999 a month to get the entirely ad free experience and an Ever expanding roster of content, creators, and free speech.
00:05:43.000 Sometimes those old sketches without context are almost worse.
00:05:49.000 Or better.
00:05:50.000 Yeah, I guess it depends how you look at it.
00:05:52.000 I think that one is from 2016.
00:05:53.000 You guys let us know below.
00:05:53.000 You comment.
00:05:54.000 It's Friday.
00:05:55.000 It's Friday.
00:05:56.000 And you know what that means?
00:05:57.000 This is just an ode to Mug Club, to Rumble Premium, the OGs.
00:06:00.000 We've been doing a Friday show for a while, but if you are not a Rumble Premium member or an OG Mug Club member, you miss it.
00:06:06.000 You miss it.
00:06:07.000 It's one of those things we do for you guys.
00:06:09.000 So today we're going to be talking about homosexuals.
00:06:14.000 Ha ha ha.
00:06:15.000 Yeah.
00:06:16.000 In soccer, but I repeat myself.
00:06:17.000 Stop it.
00:06:18.000 And who would have thought that the Iranians wouldn't want a gay pride soccer match?
00:06:24.000 And the Egyptians.
00:06:25.000 Yes, and the Egyptians.
00:06:28.000 This is just, it's just, we were trying to write bits for it, and nothing we could write was more absurd than a gay pride soccer match for the Iran versus Egypt game.
00:06:38.000 In Seattle.
00:06:39.000 Yeah.
00:06:40.000 We were going like, hey, we'll get into that more.
00:06:40.000 Yeah.
00:06:42.000 And then, hey, you know that old question?
00:06:44.000 Hey, would you choose a bear?
00:06:46.000 Or a man in the woods that they've been asking women.
00:06:49.000 A lot of women choose the bear.
00:06:50.000 Well, we have a video as to how that turns out.
00:06:52.000 Best case scenario.
00:06:53.000 It's still bad.
00:06:54.000 And then a Mug Club movie review, Toy Story 5.
00:06:57.000 Both Captain Morgan and I saw it.
00:06:58.000 Captain Morgan, how are you?
00:06:59.000 Fantastic.
00:07:00.000 How are you?
00:07:00.000 I'm all right.
00:07:01.000 Yeah, getting better?
00:07:02.000 Yeah, I'm recovering.
00:07:04.000 No bars in your chest anymore, so that's good.
00:07:05.000 No, that's good.
00:07:06.000 That's nice.
00:07:08.000 This is dynamic.
00:07:08.000 Yeah.
00:07:09.000 And it wasn't weird to me.
00:07:09.000 Yeah.
00:07:12.000 Not underscore Firestine on X, or you can follow him, actually, Josh underscore Firestine on Instagram.
00:07:17.000 We have a story later about you at his stand up show, Mr. Firestine.
00:07:20.000 Yeah, and I got some new stand up shows coming.
00:07:22.000 I got links coming.
00:07:23.000 I got them this morning.
00:07:24.000 Yeah.
00:07:24.000 So I got some stuff in Laredo, Texas, and some near Austin, near Dallas.
00:07:28.000 Whoa, Laredo.
00:07:31.000 I'll go see your show.
00:07:32.000 I don't know that one.
00:07:32.000 Jeez.
00:07:33.000 Ah, it's a song.
00:07:34.000 I think you made it up.
00:07:34.000 That's okay.
00:07:35.000 I was saying, Jeez, because the Michael Bolton pleading guilty.
00:07:39.000 Oh, really?
00:07:39.000 To what?
00:07:40.000 To retaining national security?
00:07:43.000 There's like a fine of a couple million dollars.
00:07:45.000 It's John Bolton.
00:07:45.000 He gets locked up.
00:07:46.000 Who's going to sweep between Bullwinkle cartoons?
00:07:48.000 I know.
00:07:49.000 That's John Bolton.
00:07:50.000 Oh, I know.
00:07:50.000 John.
00:07:51.000 You said Michael Bolton.
00:07:51.000 Yeah.
00:07:52.000 I was kind of joking around, but nonetheless.
00:07:52.000 Yeah.
00:07:54.000 When a man loves a war.
00:07:57.000 Yeah.
00:08:01.000 Anytime I hear Bolton, it's always Michael.
00:08:03.000 Celebrate his entire catalog.
00:08:04.000 Yeah, except there are other Boltons who aren't Michael.
00:08:06.000 There are, yeah, no, 100%.
00:08:07.000 But it said, I don't know if it said a minimum or maximum, meaning there will be some jail time or that he could have zero to up to like 60 months in jail.
00:08:15.000 It seems, I just never understood that too about sentencing.
00:08:18.000 It's like, oh, that crime comes with a minimum penalty of two years to four.
00:08:23.000 Five life sentences.
00:08:24.000 You're like, this seems a little broad.
00:08:26.000 It's a bit of a range.
00:08:26.000 Can we narrow it in?
00:08:28.000 Yeah, you'll probably be fine.
00:08:29.000 That's crazy.
00:08:31.000 Zero to 60 months.
00:08:31.000 That's also how long he has to live.
00:08:33.000 So, yeah, it's nice to not work.
00:08:35.000 But his mustache will live on forever.
00:08:37.000 Here's the first story.
00:08:39.000 There's a fashion designer out there named Rick Owens, I guess.
00:08:41.000 And I am.
00:08:42.000 What a fun name for a fashion designer.
00:08:44.000 I'm a fashion designer.
00:08:44.000 Yeah, I know.
00:08:45.000 What's your name?
00:08:45.000 Rick.
00:08:46.000 Yeah.
00:08:46.000 Yeah, Rick.
00:08:47.000 It's like the least fashion designer name you could have.
00:08:49.000 It's like, God, he's neck and neck each year for the most prestigious fashion design award.
00:08:54.000 Alongside Dale, you gotta watch out for Randy, he's a new up and comer.
00:08:54.000 Yeah.
00:09:00.000 He's in Prague, he's like, Dale, he always fins.
00:09:04.000 So, I guess he's an Adidas designer, fashion designer, but he rolled out this new, super cool, consumer friendly collaboration at the Paris Fashion Show.
00:09:20.000 Hey, It's so practical.
00:09:27.000 Oh, look, it's HBO Snape.
00:09:34.000 I get it.
00:09:38.000 He went down to like a spirit Halloween shop and got one of those self inflating, you know, dinosaur costumes.
00:09:43.000 Yeah, it's got the little fan.
00:09:44.000 Yeah, perfect.
00:09:45.000 Let's just apply that to a Serbian tracksuit.
00:09:48.000 Yeah, can we squirt a little fart in there?
00:09:50.000 Nice.
00:09:50.000 Yeah, yeah, exactly.
00:09:52.000 Also, by the way, his next piece of clothing he's going to release is going to be an FBI shirt that reads Federal Booby Inspector.
00:09:59.000 Oh, dude, that's incorrigible.
00:10:00.000 Thanks.
00:10:01.000 Very avant garde for cutting edge.
00:10:03.000 Here's the thing this is the problem with postmodern art, and fashion really is just a byproduct of that.
00:10:10.000 Once upon a time, art was supposed to be pleasing to the actual.
00:10:14.000 Consumer, the person who might be looking at art, the person who might be listening to music, the person who would be most likely to purchase an item of fashion wear, to use a term, if that's an actual term.
00:10:24.000 Now it's for gay guys in Prague, so they can say, hey, look what I did.
00:10:29.000 It's no longer of value.
00:10:31.000 And they spent, it would be one thing if they just did this on their own time.
00:10:33.000 They spend so much money and they fly in, and it's this cavalcade of homo-disgenic activists under the guise of fashion.
00:10:42.000 You guys, when was the last time you saw a fashion show that made sense and showed anything that you want to wear?
00:10:47.000 The only way that makes sense is if you are in a plane crash and you need an emergency life vest.
00:10:54.000 I want to see one of those guys trying to get into a car.
00:10:56.000 I know, right?
00:10:57.000 Exactly.
00:10:58.000 With the little air ducts on their legs.
00:11:01.000 Nike just competes by having a compartment you press and an air mask drops.
00:11:05.000 Look, we can move on too.
00:11:06.000 I don't know why they're German.
00:11:07.000 That's how I picture useless Europeans.
00:11:10.000 It's fair.
00:11:11.000 Look, it looks very, you look chic.
00:11:15.000 Well, it's a country that's only 36 years old, so.
00:11:17.000 Pretty much, pretty much.
00:11:18.000 It's not a real place.
00:11:18.000 It's not a real place.
00:11:19.000 I would just walk and puncture.
00:11:20.000 As I did.
00:11:21.000 It's like a small hole, and I walked by.
00:11:23.000 That's a serious crime, Gerald.
00:11:24.000 No, it's not.
00:11:25.000 That you're using a deadly weapon that's battery.
00:11:27.000 I would never use a deadly weapon, just like a needle.
00:11:30.000 It's my stabbing.
00:11:31.000 Not their skin, their outfit.
00:11:34.000 It looks like they were inspired by that first moment when you get in a pool or a hot tub and the front starts flowing.
00:11:39.000 Hey, guys, look, I got a front butt.
00:11:41.000 That should be on the runway.
00:11:41.000 You know what?
00:11:43.000 You guys are too mean.
00:11:45.000 If they get stabbed or poked, they got rum flats underneath.
00:11:48.000 Very nice.
00:11:48.000 It is practical.
00:11:49.000 You guys are being kind of harsh on this.
00:11:51.000 We're barely getting down the stairs.
00:11:53.000 Yeah.
00:11:54.000 Well, like all fashion, it's just a regurgitation of other trends, and Adidas has actually run Dr. Gary Miller out of the fashion industry and into now, I support it, campaigning for city council in Danville, Virginia.
00:12:07.000 This is Dr. Gary Miller.
00:12:08.000 We're here on Kimberly Rose where we are installing 1,600 feet of brand new sidewalks.
00:12:12.000 He's a marvelous talent.
00:12:17.000 Jerry Nadler does.
00:12:19.000 He stalks like a leopard.
00:12:22.000 Is he advocating for sidewalks or catwalks?
00:12:24.000 My belt slipped off my nipples.
00:12:26.000 It's the crosswalk a senior uses to get to the grocery store.
00:12:30.000 It's the path a child walks to school, or the way a neighbor rolls a floor.
00:12:33.000 Sir, get your voopa out of my child's face.
00:12:35.000 The street with the sidewalk is a safer street, a healthier neighborhood.
00:12:38.000 That's why I made a promise in 2022.
00:12:40.000 That's not your best angle.
00:12:41.000 I'm proud to say that it's finally happening.
00:12:45.000 This neighborhood isn't the river district, and it's not the casino, but the people that live here matter just as much.
00:12:51.000 That's why I want to ensure that we use Danville tax dollars to help the people.
00:12:55.000 Who live in Danville.
00:12:56.000 I'm Dr. Jerry Miller, and I'd be proud to have your vote on November 3rd.
00:13:00.000 Under Armour, he's an athlete.
00:13:01.000 Yeah, I'll vote for him.
00:13:03.000 The same bees that stung his FUPA sting under his eyes.
00:13:03.000 Yeah, I would.
00:13:08.000 I hate making fun of it.
00:13:09.000 It's just like your body's trying to tell you something, man.
00:13:11.000 You need to see a doctor.
00:13:13.000 No, dude, he's been working relentlessly.
00:13:15.000 No sleep until these streets have sidewalks.
00:13:16.000 No, no, no.
00:13:17.000 Till FUPA!
00:13:17.000 No!
00:13:17.000 Sleep!
00:13:18.000 I thought you were going to say sidewalks.
00:13:20.000 1600 feet of sidewalks.
00:13:21.000 It's not that.
00:13:22.000 Listen, good job, but 1,600 feet of sidewalk.
00:13:23.000 And you know what?
00:13:25.000 You lay 1,600 feet of sidewalk and tell me how your eyes look out.
00:13:28.000 Any of it.
00:13:28.000 That's true.
00:13:29.000 He just made sure it got done.
00:13:30.000 You lay 1,600 feet of sidewalk and tell me how your eyes look.
00:13:33.000 That's true.
00:13:34.000 Any of it.
00:13:35.000 He just made sure it got done.
00:13:36.000 That's it.
00:13:37.000 Do you think he's the kind of guy who, once the sidewalks get put in, and invariably there's some teenagers or kids like handprints, he's just like, lose his mind?
00:13:45.000 Can you imagine being one of those concrete layers?
00:13:49.000 He's standing there, his foot was out.
00:13:51.000 He's like, you missed a spot right there.
00:13:53.000 What kind of a mixture did you use?
00:13:55.000 I've been working concrete for 35 years.
00:13:58.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:13:59.000 I'd bend over to help you, but I'm not physically capable.
00:14:05.000 I hope he does well.
00:14:06.000 I do, yeah.
00:14:06.000 Good for him.
00:14:07.000 Also, that's why you guys need to lift your weights because you don't want to shrivel as you get to the top of your head.
00:14:12.000 I mean, honestly, dude, it's less about his body and more about the position of his waist and his pants.
00:14:17.000 Well, that's also why you need to lift weights to improve your posture.
00:14:19.000 It's the fountain.
00:14:20.000 If there was a pill that helped you as much as lifting weights twice a week, it would be the most popular medication on the planet.
00:14:25.000 It helps with all that bone density, posture.
00:14:27.000 I just.
00:14:29.000 No one wants to lift?
00:14:30.000 Ain't nobody wanting to lift some heavy ass weights.
00:14:32.000 Yeah, he should have taken his foundation.
00:14:33.000 I'm about to peed that.
00:14:34.000 Yeah.
00:14:35.000 Yes, he should have.
00:14:36.000 He would actually.
00:14:38.000 You know what?
00:14:39.000 There was another guy who looked just like him, and he took this.
00:14:42.000 Now he looks like Jude Law.
00:14:43.000 Totally fine.
00:14:44.000 It's science.
00:14:45.000 This claim has not been proven.
00:14:47.000 Also, it says a lot about me that whenever I try and go to an example of a good looking guy, it's always Jude Law.
00:14:51.000 All right.
00:14:57.000 Well, I mean, he's gay too, so there's a chance.
00:14:59.000 No, he's not.
00:15:00.000 He likes them nannies.
00:15:02.000 Oh, yeah.
00:15:02.000 Is he?
00:15:03.000 He cheated on Jude Law at the Sienna Miller with the nanny.
00:15:06.000 Oh, jeez.
00:15:07.000 I seriously thought he was gay.
00:15:09.000 Really?
00:15:10.000 To Law?
00:15:10.000 Yeah, I thought I did.
00:15:11.000 I don't follow him very well.
00:15:11.000 No.
00:15:12.000 I've tried.
00:15:13.000 He plays a gay wizard.
00:15:15.000 Does he?
00:15:16.000 He has double Harry Potter.
00:15:16.000 No, that's a stupid thing.
00:15:18.000 All right, okay.
00:15:19.000 Speaking of the wonderful world of wizarding.
00:15:22.000 You got that?
00:15:24.000 Wonderful world of wizarding.
00:15:27.000 So, I don't know how to.
00:15:31.000 Like, I will say this.
00:15:32.000 I don't like, in general, the Iranian government.
00:15:38.000 Honestly, Egypt, while we're at it.
00:15:40.000 So, Let's set that up.
00:15:42.000 Okay.
00:15:43.000 But I also get it.
00:15:45.000 Like, they were upset.
00:15:46.000 So, there's a World Cup match between Iran and Egypt.
00:15:50.000 It's taking place in Seattle.
00:15:52.000 And they designated this match, and they do it every year, an official pride match.
00:15:58.000 Yes, gay pride.
00:15:59.000 It's not gone over well.
00:16:01.000 A World Cup pride match between Iran and Egypt.
00:16:06.000 In Seattle, LGBTQ rights organizers are pushing ahead despite international backlash.
00:16:11.000 Last year, the city's World Cup.
00:16:12.000 Cup committee designated June 27th.
00:16:13.000 The world needs to change, not just.
00:16:15.000 12 months in Seattle is very queer, very trans.
00:16:19.000 It is a welcoming sanctuary city for so many people who seek a place where they can be themselves and can thrive.
00:16:27.000 This is happening right in the middle of our Pride season, so it just makes sense.
00:16:31.000 That's right, it just makes sense.
00:16:39.000 Pride match was an irrational move.
00:16:44.000 So Seattle is moving forward with Pride match plans.
00:16:47.000 Though they know their programming is going to be.
00:16:47.000 I'm wrong.
00:16:49.000 Yeah, but Iran calling something irrational.
00:16:50.000 And celebrations will largely be outside the stadium.
00:16:54.000 And this will go completely over the heads of the leftists in Seattle.
00:16:59.000 You won't know why.
00:17:00.000 They'll only be upset when it affects them.
00:17:01.000 Well, I can't bring my.
00:17:02.000 Well, you said, I can't bring my Pride flag.
00:17:04.000 Yeah, how about all of the people who are killed in said countries because they speak with a lisp?
00:17:08.000 You didn't care when they're throwing kids off of rooftops halfway around the world, but now that you can't carry your flag.
00:17:12.000 Yeah.
00:17:13.000 America is the big evil.
00:17:16.000 Let's just.
00:17:16.000 This is Iran, just to give you an idea.
00:17:18.000 Iran, Egypt, if they were good enough soccer teams, but as I understand it, they're not really like the upper echelon.
00:17:23.000 But imagine they were, where they would sell tickets, you know, they would be one of those teams where guaranteed draw.
00:17:29.000 You don't think for a second that they would exert their power, their pressure, and there would be no pride match.
00:17:33.000 Now, apply that globally with nukes.
00:17:37.000 That's what they would do.
00:17:38.000 They have it their way and no other way.
00:17:41.000 You'd think this would be a teaching moment for those on the left, but it won't be.
00:17:46.000 Now, I will say Iran finally relented and agreed under one condition.
00:17:54.000 We couldn't really see that it was a drag face.
00:17:59.000 Yeah.
00:18:00.000 We were close.
00:18:00.000 Ah.
00:18:02.000 Trust me, we got one coming up that's good.
00:18:05.000 A for effort.
00:18:05.000 Okay.
00:18:06.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:18:06.000 That one's on me.
00:18:08.000 Just to be clear, it's not an official FIFA event.
00:18:10.000 So nothing's taking place in the stadium.
00:18:10.000 No, it's a stadium.
00:18:12.000 The fans are going to be allowed to bring LGBTQ trolls.
00:18:15.000 Which I think is hilarious.
00:18:17.000 Listen, I don't align with these people in any way ever.
00:18:21.000 But the trolling here is awesome.
00:18:21.000 Right.
00:18:24.000 Yeah.
00:18:25.000 It's funny to me.
00:18:25.000 I get it.
00:18:26.000 And Kalashi actually has, right now, I guess, Iran a 25% chance to win and Egypt for 40%.
00:18:32.000 A tie is more likely than Iran went with.
00:18:34.000 37%?
00:18:36.000 That's way too high for a World Cup game, playoff, World Series game.
00:18:36.000 Yeah.
00:18:42.000 It's only soccer, and the most likely score is 0 0.
00:18:45.000 That's not the average score.
00:18:47.000 It's the most likely if you were to pick one score.
00:18:49.000 By the way, those odds, that's 102%, which is the same odds that have been given that the new Ayatollah's gay.
00:18:55.000 So that is very, very close.
00:18:59.000 Now, here's the kind of thing where people just go, ah, you know what?
00:19:02.000 It's fine.
00:19:03.000 We'll just coexist.
00:19:04.000 On the flip side, At the World Cup.
00:19:06.000 Here's the thing.
00:19:07.000 I love that Europeans are experiencing the United States and they're seeing how great it is.
00:19:11.000 There still are a lot of Europeans who are fags.
00:19:15.000 So that brings us to the English YouTuber, Angry Ginge.
00:19:19.000 Fag?
00:19:20.000 He, allegedly, right?
00:19:24.000 I mean, probably.
00:19:26.000 So he got really upset in the stands over what he said was we don't see it on camera, the racism in the crowd during this match between England and Ghana.
00:19:36.000 Here's the thing let's assume something really racist was said.
00:19:40.000 All right, let's just grant that.
00:19:41.000 Yeah.
00:19:42.000 When the guy says, hey, you know what, I'm sorry, and I'll stop, the masculine thing to do would be move on.
00:19:49.000 So when I say fag, what I misspoke, what I meant to say is that English YouTuber Angry Ginge is a woman.
00:19:56.000 We have a situation where the gentleman that was there is actually being racist.
00:20:00.000 So we're going, getting supervised.
00:20:03.000 I'm a politician steward.
00:20:05.000 Because, I mean, kick it out is the saying.
00:20:07.000 I will stand by that.
00:20:08.000 So I've gone, he's gone now, getting supervised.
00:20:10.000 I'm going to see what.
00:20:12.000 The man sat in front was making incredibly racist comments towards the Ghana national team.
00:20:15.000 Sorry about my comment about Ghana.
00:20:17.000 It won't happen again.
00:20:18.000 No, it won't happen again because you're going to get thrown out, mate.
00:20:21.000 Really?
00:20:21.000 Yeah.
00:20:21.000 I'm giving that.
00:20:22.000 Just forget about it.
00:20:23.000 Forget about you being racist.
00:20:24.000 No, mate.
00:20:24.000 You forget about me being racist or forget about your gay bucket hat.
00:20:27.000 Yeah, that's what they want to be bothered with during a match.
00:20:37.000 Yeah, I'm kidding.
00:20:38.000 I've got him reported it.
00:20:45.000 The guy is not being kicked out of the stadium.
00:20:53.000 We saw him as we left.
00:20:56.000 Yeah, because it's America.
00:21:00.000 I think it's absolute fucking disgrace.
00:21:03.000 He's been able to stay in.
00:21:06.000 I just think it's wrong on every single level that people have to stay.
00:21:09.000 Go fucking home.
00:21:10.000 The steward that came up to me the first time said, All right, well, if he does it again, tell him that.
00:21:14.000 I said that they can't be here next time.
00:21:15.000 Otherwise, everyone gets two chances.
00:21:17.000 It's ridiculous.
00:21:19.000 There can't be a next time.
00:21:21.000 Listen, if he's allowed to say something mildly racist once and not do it again, then everybody's going to want to be able to say something mildly racist once and not do it again.
00:21:32.000 It'd be anarchy.
00:21:33.000 It'd almost be like people being raped en masse in the streets.