It's CBD Awareness Month! To celebrate, visit CBDistillery.co/RUMBLE and use promo code RUMBLE to save up to 60% off everything. For the initiated, it's time for Tough Love! with Guru Crowder, where you can send in your requests for life or relationship advice.
00:04:52.000It's toughlove.com where you can send in your relationship, your life advice because it's not every day that you get a certified guru forever stamp or not.
00:05:02.000And we just ask that you respect the title.
00:05:37.000I had an uncomfortable encounter this week.
00:05:40.000I downloaded the Grok app on my phone to ask it some business-related questions while I was driving, and I noticed a button at the top that said, sexy.
00:05:49.000The fact that it wasn't the very first thing you noticed is a testament to what a good man you are.
00:05:53.000I didn't even know there was this button.
00:05:55.000Well, that's just because you're oblivious.
00:05:57.000So in your case, it's a good sign of character.
00:08:10.000This basically phone sex went on for a few minutes with me awkwardly answering very suggestive questions with one-word answers like it's my first time.
00:08:52.000There were moments when I felt like Joaquin Phoenix's character maybe wasn't so unusual after all, that movie Her.
00:08:59.000And afterwards, I prompted her to help me understand Bernoulli's principle, and we went back and forth on stories of Romulus and the origins of Rome.
00:09:17.000Just to make sure that we're not being led down a trail here, I think we should have HR Sam try and recreate this at some point, just so that we can make sure that we're being told the truth.
00:09:27.000Yes. I'm over here looking for the damn...
00:12:49.000And you combine that with the fact that a lot of men aren't interested in a lot of young women as far as what they have to offer right now.
00:12:57.000They're checking out of the dating pool.
00:13:00.000I'm not saying that everyone is an Andrew Tate.
00:13:03.000But you have to look at the rise of an Andrew Tate and say, okay, why?
00:13:06.000He is actually acknowledging legitimate problems.
00:13:10.000I don't agree with most of his solutions.
00:13:12.000Maybe in theory on paper where he talks about traditional relationships and he talks about having children and families, but certainly not in practice with the life that he's lived.
00:13:21.000But you can't just point the finger at Andrew Tate.
00:13:23.000You need to point the finger at the modern feminist movement.
00:13:26.000So if you provide that easy of an out...
00:13:29.000Yeah, I think it's going to be more and more attractive to young people, especially considering how good these AI bots can get.
00:13:37.000I mean, we already have that problem where a lot of young men aren't interested in sex with an actual partner.
00:14:13.000And so this was one of those things where in high school, in early part of high school, like you had to go get like a magazine or something like that if you wanted actual pornography, right?
00:14:19.000Right. And then with computers becoming more affordable and available in your homes and with the internet, with, you know, the dial-up internet access that we had, all of a sudden you had this same kind of issue where a lot of the barriers were removed for people that were younger to be able to look at pornography.
00:14:34.000Young guys that, you know, and I'm talking like in their 15, 16, 17, 18 years old, like your hormones are raging.
00:14:53.000But I think we've taken some pretty positive steps, but look how much later it is.
00:14:57.000I'm talking about, say, 95, 96, and so really we're talking about 30 years later and finally Pornhub is being banned in certain places and people are really concerned about the effects of pornography on the generation.
00:15:07.000What do you mean being banned from minors?
00:15:10.000But also banned outright because they're not taking the steps necessary to make sure that miners are protected and also revenge porn is something that is screened out as well.
00:15:20.000But we're starting to see the societal impacts.
00:15:22.000Do we have to wait 30 years to see the societal impacts of this kind of thing?
00:15:27.000Because then it went to AOL Instant Messenger and just to tell myself, and I've told my story before, I didn't always make the right decisions.
00:15:34.000But I was chatting with a girl in college, freshman year of college, on AOL Instant Messenger.
00:16:03.000He started to feel like, hey, I'm just going to kind of see how this goes and do an experiment and maybe shine a light on how bad this is for people.
00:16:42.000This is kind of new to me because I haven't used AI in this way, but it doesn't surprise me at all.
00:16:48.000And you see, for example, in Japan where they have those sex robots and you have all kinds of birth rate problems.
00:16:55.000But, you know, this would be a problem no matter what.
00:16:58.000For example, if you go throughout all of human history, you have men who can have great wives and then there's a prostitute and the man falters, right?
00:17:06.000That temptation has always been a problem.
00:17:08.000It is exacerbated dramatically when you have completely destroyed the roles of men and women in society and the gender norms that once were expectations.
00:17:20.000And it's really corrosive because now you have a lot of women saying...
00:17:24.000I think in 30 years, the estimates are 60% of women are going to be single.
00:17:27.000I think they're saying in the next five years, it's close to 40%.
00:17:30.000They say, well, there's nothing out there in men that I want.
00:17:34.000Well, what you're dealing with right now is the feminization and the browbeating and the privilege checking of toxic masculinity where men have been made to be ashamed of what they are.
00:17:47.000And then the covert feminism that you see from, unfortunately, even women on the right going, well, I don't want my man to be ultra-sensitive, and I don't think that he should be afraid of toxic masculinity.
00:17:54.000I expect him to provide and to protect.
00:17:56.000So now you've set an expectation and a duty for the man, but a lot of men are out there going, okay, but what's the duty of a woman?
00:18:02.000And Andrew Wilson has talked about this.
00:18:04.000He was on Pierce Morgan, did a pretty effective job of it.
00:18:07.000We have duties as men, and I can tell you from the male perspective, a big reason that men are checking out of the dating pool is because they feel as though they are the only ones burdened with duties.
00:18:16.000Often the response will be, well, my duty is to love my husband.
00:18:37.000That's a duty with a contractual obligation.
00:18:41.000And we have a lot of young women who've bought the lie of feminism who think they can have all the things, and men are going, well, you can have all the things, you just can't have me.
00:18:48.000If you want a masculine man, those men want a feminine woman, and they're in short supply.
00:18:58.000There's distrust between the sexes, and it's a lot easier.
00:19:01.000This would be a problem no matter what, especially being new in a novelty, but it's going to be a bigger problem where men might actually prefer it.
00:20:24.000Also, you'd have to tell them to send it back.
00:20:28.000Get one of those temporary stamps to send back.
00:20:34.000I wanted to answer a question about, he said, do you think this is going to threaten Christianity that's analogous to the impact of the Enlightenment on Catholicism?
00:21:52.000We developed a technology that could connect people seamlessly beyond all languages, cultures, traditional barriers, geography, and we immediately put tits on it.
00:22:40.000Where it's not just someone, you know, let's say there's like a 30 minute porno video and that leaves them like 29 minutes to just refractory periods.
00:22:50.000I don't know who watches for three minutes.
00:22:56.000But they don't feel like they know what it is to some degree.
00:22:59.000They don't necessarily know how it's rewiring their brain, but they don't think it's an actual connection, which is actually how a lot of people justify pornography.
00:23:08.000With this, it might actually trick them into going, you know what, I prefer the companionship of this person where they think they have a friend.
00:23:25.000Like, this is someone who you would have an ongoing conversation with Ara, who learns you, who knows what you like, who knows how to push your buttons, you know?
00:23:32.000And you probably will feel like you can be completely open.
00:23:36.000Because it's like, well, this isn't a real person.
00:23:38.000I'm not going to be judged for anything that I say.
00:26:23.000No, I think, honestly, if you're in a situation where you have some limitations, I think gaining strength should be one of the goals that people look at instead of losing weight.
00:26:40.000Your body's going to feel better the stronger that you get.
00:26:43.000And I'm not talking like weightlifting to be a bodybuilder or anything like that.
00:26:46.000I'm talking like stuff that I do where I'm just lifting to maintain some good strength so that my body doesn't suffer because I've got bad knees, got a bad back, and the more my core goes down, the more my leg muscles go down, my knees hurt more, my back hurts more when I've been lifting.
00:28:31.000And if they think that all of this motivation is going to make a difference, nothing's going to be as effective as saying, you just have to do it no matter what.
00:28:37.000And work around injuries if you need to.
00:28:41.000As far as training, look, keep it really simple.
00:28:44.000Okay, I've recommended starting strength from Mark Repeteau.
00:31:11.000No, but it's going to be more than enough for you to maintain joint health, integrity, have some strength benefits, and have that progressive overload.
00:31:18.000So if you really don't believe that you'll stick with it unless it's super, super, super short, then just do that.
00:31:25.000Start with that, and then you can add to it.
00:31:26.000Yeah, I 100% agree, and I was going to say that my story is very similar on lifting.
00:32:28.000You had more strength than you had faith in your ability.
00:32:31.000Yeah, I was very much concerned that I would be injured, but I thought, okay, I'll take that into account because I probably won't continue if I do hurt myself.
00:32:37.000So I'm going to start out really low and just kind of be consistent.
00:32:40.000It takes me between 30 and 45 minutes to do that.
00:32:43.000If I want to take a little more time, I can.
00:32:45.000But now that I've done it, there are days where I look at Tim and I'm like, are you lifting?
00:32:52.000That's why I do it in the morning before the show.
00:32:54.000Because I know myself well enough to know that after doing the show, I'm so tired that I won't be able to.
00:33:01.000And also, at that point, it's too big of a variable where I could be...
00:33:05.00030% weaker this day just because our show went late and it was exhausting and there was something wrong, so I gotta get it done in the morning.
00:33:11.000And mine's largely focused around conserving energy.
00:33:13.000It's like, what can I do without spending myself?
00:33:16.000And I want a period of about a year and a half where, at least a year, where I was training twice a week about...
00:33:51.000Don't try to come up with just do it and make sure that you do it for what is it they say you have to do something for 28 days or 21 days to make it a habit whatever the heck it is it could be different for you just do it and when you start seeing those results like you're getting somewhat stronger that's that motivation kind of kicks in there for me when I start to see some result now I'm getting to the point where Tim's just heckling me,
00:34:13.000and that's basically what's making me add weight.
00:35:05.000As a matter of fact, the only reason for Arnold, not the only, but the primary reason for Arnold's success is that he was willing to experiment with new designer steroids that people were scared to take because they didn't know the long-term health effects at that point in time.
00:35:17.000And then, same thing, I won't mention this name because it's someone who is in the conservative space and has been on the show.
00:35:24.000It was at a firearm conference, and he was telling people, he goes, look, I practice, you know, being in the military, I practice with my firearm six days a week, two hours, and if you're not doing that minimum, you might as well not have it.
00:35:39.000You want to tell the old lady here, or let's say a middle-aged lady who's working and has kids that she needs two hours a day, six days a week?
00:35:55.000If she has a revolver and she puts it in there in her nightstand, she's still better off having it if she only goes to the range once a month than not.
00:36:40.000With MS, I would say, be mindful of your recovery.
00:36:43.000Don't... Push it too far because you actually do have a condition where, you know, your recovery may be impeded.
00:36:49.000But it sounds to me like, honestly, I don't know you, but I'm proud of you.
00:36:53.000Losing weight when having been diagnosed with MS, that is not easy.
00:36:56.000A lot of people would just give up and throw themselves a pity party.
00:37:00.000So you may not have the motivation, you may not want to do it, but you can do it because you've already done something that most people would instead make excuses for.
00:37:48.000Their least expensive option, like the power rack, so if you don't have a lot of money, that still is a great deal with a lifetime warranty, 10, 12-gauge steel, and it still comes with a pulley that's plate-loaded.
00:38:50.000Whenever I see Coe, it makes me think of Duluth Trader and Coe.
00:38:53.000And I know that Coe is short for company, but for some reason I always get a snapshot of something in my mind that just makes me think, is it company or corporate?
00:40:12.000I said no, and although I know it was the right thing to do, I'm having a hard time forgiving them, but also myself, because I feel like the heart defect is all my fault.
00:40:21.000After miscarriage at eight weeks in 2022, I got pregnant again at 34 in the fall of 2023.
00:40:25.000Early on, we found out there was a problem via ultrasound.
00:40:27.000We were given potential diagnosis of hydrops, fatalis, Turner syndrome, and cystic hygroma?
00:41:15.000If you look up the two individual drugs contained in the inhaler, Formotorol is specifically associated with congenital heart defects at less than the maximum effective dose.
00:41:48.000By the way, it doesn't matter if you used it once.
00:41:50.000You would have been well within your rights to use it often if you were told that it was safe and found out later that perhaps, I don't know, you were lied to by the pharmaceutical companies who, oh, on a technicality, this combined drug hasn't been studied, right, in pregnancy, but the individual ones may be a problem.
00:42:05.000I'm very sorry this has happened, but you really can't blame yourself for this.
00:42:12.000I'm actually not advocating this, but there actually could be liability lawsuits if you were actually advised this from a doctor.
00:42:28.000You have nothing to feel guilty about.
00:42:30.000And I know that's easy for me to say because I don't have to live with the condition that your child has, but it seems like they could live a long, full life.
00:42:37.000And the good news is, with medical advancements, I mean, it's only going to get more effective in treating this kind of condition, I would imagine.
00:42:49.000I was shuffled between a regular OBGYN, a maternal fetal medicine specialist, a genetics counselor, and a pediatric cardiologist.
00:42:54.000At different points, everyone but the pediatric cardiologist offered recommended I get an abortion for which they would have to refer me out since they all worked at different Catholic hospitals.
00:43:02.000I live in a state where no questions asked.
00:43:06.000After that point, you need a medical reason to do so.
00:43:08.000After saying no multiple times, the maternal fetal medicine doctor pushed for me to get an amniocentesis because of the heart and the fact that she was a little behind in growth.
00:43:18.000Amniose post their own risks, including but not limited to hemorrhage, preterm labor, infection, miscarriage, maternal death, and fetal abnormality.
00:43:25.000My daughter had enough problems, so once again, I said no.
00:43:28.000My in-laws then drove in from another state four hours away to try to persuade me to change my mind about getting an abortion or at the very least getting an amniocentesis.
00:43:35.000At this point, I was 22 weeks pregnant.
00:43:36.000I stood firm about not aborting her, but I did make an appointment for the test.
00:43:39.000I ended up canceling it a few hours later, and I'm incredibly grateful I did.
00:43:42.000After being put through the ringer of a million more doctor's appointments and tests, I gave birth to an otherwise healthy baby girl.
00:43:48.000She did four days in the NICU for observation, never even needed oxygen, and she had her first open-heart surgery in October.
00:43:54.000She's eight months old now, and if you didn't know about her heart condition, you would never know anything.
00:43:58.000Well, screw those people with a wire brush.
00:44:15.000I mean, you'd be well, in my opinion, I don't know if legally, well within your right to bitch slap said doctors at any point during this personal journey.
00:44:29.000True. And short-tempered anytime my husband's parents are around us, I understand, asking me to take their picture with their beautiful granddaughter and wanting me to pump so they can feed her.
00:44:37.000I just can't get everything out of my head.
00:44:39.000These people wanted me to kill her on top of that.
00:44:41.000I feel like my baby's life sentence is all my fault because I didn't quite do enough due diligence.
00:45:01.000They spend all their time thinking about what they could have, should have done, and so they die rather than do the one thing that would have saved their life.
00:45:08.000Thinking. In this case, thinking about your beautiful child.
00:45:12.000So I guess the option is, what would you do if you were me?
00:45:59.000They're probably like, and what I mean by that is ignorant liberals who don't think it's a life and they thought they were doing the humane thing.
00:46:08.000In their mind, it's two different things.
00:46:09.000It's, oh, it was a fetus, it wasn't a human being, and now it's a human being.
00:46:12.000And they love the human being, they didn't care about the fetus.
00:46:14.000That's how they justify their evil actions, the left.
00:46:17.000Never mind the fact that it's the same DNA.
00:46:19.000Never mind the fact that it's the same child that was just a smaller version of it, just like your child who's five now was four and was three and was two.
00:46:26.000And if you want to talk about the physical location, okay, it was in the womb, all right, fine, but it was in the womb up until two hours before it came out.
00:46:32.000So none of their arguments hold water, but in their head...
00:46:34.000They detach themselves from the reality that it is the same child, toddler, infant, baby that just happened to be in that birth canal a couple hours later.
00:47:26.000You're going to see babies born earlier and earlier.
00:47:28.000So they just have to shut themselves off and say something, something, my body, my right, my choice.
00:47:33.000So if that's the only sin that they've committed, it could be out of ignorance and I wouldn't hold it against them for the rest of your life.
00:47:39.000Right. Because those children or this child, maybe you have other children.
00:47:45.000If they love their grandparents, you don't want to be the one stopping them from having a relationship with their grandparents, provided they're not doing something actively corrosive to that child.
00:48:03.000Combine that with some ignorance on abortion, and all of a sudden they're like, they don't want that for you, they don't want that for this child.
00:48:08.000Yeah, but the alternative's kind of worse.
00:48:09.000They didn't really connect those dots, right?
00:48:11.000The alternatives would just give up and kill the child.
00:48:13.000So I think 100% you have to try to find forgiveness in your heart because when we told you a minute ago to focus on the child and not some of the mistakes you've made, you also need to have the opportunity for them to be able to focus.
00:48:24.000And by the way, these are perceived mistakes you've made.
00:49:03.000You don't want to be, just for your own personal benefit, you don't want to hold this animosity or any kind of grudge against them for a mistake that they made.
00:49:14.000I would seek some conversation about it and say, hey, do you feel differently now that this has happened?
00:49:18.000Would you do anything differently back then if you feel like you really need to?
00:49:21.000But even if they don't, it just hurts you to be angry with them and to constantly mull it over in your head.
00:49:27.000So I just don't think it's a very beneficial thing, especially if it's an isolated incident and there's not a bunch of other issues that you've had as well.
00:49:37.000In today's age, I think all of us in the room, if something like this is going on, we're doing everything we can and we're fighting for that baby.
00:49:45.000My wife and I have had conversations, if it comes down to me, it's the baby.
00:49:48.000Those kinds of things where we're willing to make those kinds of sacrifices.
00:49:52.000But that's not the population at large, typically.
00:49:57.000For you to make that stand against doctors, which can be very intimidating, and also make you feel like you're taking crazy pills, like, I'm just going to do what I want to do.
00:50:06.000That's a lot more than just about everybody else in the kind of the general population would have done because there were a lot of easier routes to take.
00:50:14.000Yep. And you chose life and sometimes that's a hard route.
00:50:17.000And I know I just pronounced root and route.
00:50:45.000Also, just to give you an idea, when I had knee surgery, I had, so I had a great doctor and then they sent me home without pain pills in the middle of a snowstorm, by the way.
00:53:05.000For the last year or so, I have been hinting and straight up asking him to think about starting a family, but he told me that he cannot think about having kids right now because he will probably have to have open heart surgery in 10 years and may not make it through.
00:53:17.000He says that he cannot wrap his head around potentially leaving a child fatherless that early in life and he feels that it would be selfish to start.
00:53:23.000In 10 years, he will be 40. But that is obviously still too young in my mind to leave this world.
00:53:28.000He is upset that he will likely make me a widow soon in life, but I don't know how to get him to understand that God has it and everything will be okay regardless.
00:53:52.000If I can take this one just right off the bat, first off, I appreciate, and this is well written, I appreciate the letter.
00:54:00.000Look, this is one of those scenarios where the left, they think they have a corner on empathy, and so they use it as an answer for everything.
00:54:08.000In this case, though, this is someone you love who I bet you is genuinely scared.
00:54:15.000Because if this is his reasoning, it's not, oh, how could you bring children into the world when, you know, global warming?
00:54:21.000This is a guy, I don't know the details, but if he's facing his very mortality, seems like this is a reason that he's, however warped you may think it is, it's a selfless reasoning.
00:54:33.000Where he's going, I don't want to bring a child into the world when I don't know if I'm even, like, I don't want to create a fatherless household for a child.
00:54:42.000Now, it doesn't mean that it still can't be hashed out, but I would say, please do approach this with some empathy and understanding because it sounds like a guy who's scared and a guy who's trying to do the right thing.
00:54:53.000And by the way, maybe there isn't necessarily a definitive right or wrong answer.
00:54:58.000Like, I could see the argument being made here as far as...
00:55:02.000If I have a 50-50 shot of living, it would be irresponsible for me to bring a child in who I know won't have a father.
00:55:08.000And I can also see the reasoning behind, hey, you know, I have to have faith and step out in faith, and this is important to you, so it's better to leave you with a piece of me and let's pray for the best.
00:55:20.000I don't think that either are finding themselves in a pit of moral abyss.
00:55:29.000But what I do know is this is a guy who's probably pretty scared, probably pretty rattled.
00:55:32.000If he's telling you the truth and he's been living with something a little worse than he's let on, that's not atypical of men.
00:55:39.000As much as women go, oh, men have a cold and women are tough.
00:55:43.000It's like a guy just wants to be taken care of because he wants you to show that you love him, okay?
00:55:46.000We've built nations and gone out to war.
00:55:48.000You don't think anyone had colds in World War I trenches?
00:55:52.000But he's probably living with a lot of fear and chewing on it.
00:55:59.000It seems like you love him, that he knows you love him.
00:56:03.000Maybe explain to him, this is really important to you, again, assuming you're not being selfish, that, hey, you'll cross that bridge when you get there and you still would rather have a piece of him and a child together because he's the love of your life than not.
00:56:19.000that even in the face of the worst possible scenario, you'd still rather have that and that you will take care of that because a man feels like it's his responsibility, again, to protect and provide.
00:56:29.000And he doesn't know if he's physically going to be there
00:57:00.000You're like an inch shorter than me, maybe.
00:57:04.000So tomorrow's really never guaranteed.
00:57:06.000And as a husband and a father, you think about leaving people.
00:57:11.000If something, God forbid, the worst thing happened, and you've got kids and you hear stories about this, it definitely happens in life where things happen.
00:57:18.000You could be Ukrainian and grow up in a place where you lose people instantly to a war or something like that.
00:57:35.000You could have some difficult surgeries to have to go through, but you could be fine and make it through those.
00:57:39.000Two, you could end up dying at 10 years if that's something that you feel like, you know, that's the prognosis that the doctor said you may not make it through the surgery and there's a high likelihood of that.
00:57:49.000But you'll have 10 years of being able to sow into somebody who is going to bring you an immense amount of joy and happiness during those 10 years.
00:57:58.000Or you can live for 10 years just waiting and counting the days.
00:58:02.000So it's almost like it could potentially be a giving up on life moment for him in some ways.
00:58:09.000Now, it may not manifest in every single way.
00:58:10.000I mean, still get up, go to work, do things, go to ballgames, whatever you do for fun.
00:58:15.000But I think life is going to be a lot better taking the risk.
00:58:19.000And I think if you approach it the way Steven said, where you have a lot of empathy and understanding and you're not telling him like, you have to do this for me, but it's like, hey, I think we should just continue to live life as though we're going to be around because that's really what you kind of have to do every single day anyway.
00:59:16.000What if he doesn't have the energy because, you know, he's not pumping blood the way that he should?
00:59:22.000You can quell some of that by letting them know.
00:59:24.000I will tell you how long of a way it goes for a woman to tell a man, because most men never experience this, and when you do, it's shocking.
00:59:32.000You tell them, like, hey, just so you know, I'm going to be okay, and I've got this.
00:59:36.000I'm going to take care of this, and whatever happens to you, I can take care of this.
00:59:40.000It's what I sign on for, taking care of you and taking care of this child.
00:59:44.000And I'm going to make sure that if something happens, and I don't think it will, and we'll pray about it, that this boy or girl is going to know who they're, I will make sure of that.
00:59:57.000We'll be there if you have to go through it in the hospital.
01:00:00.000You know, men often feel like they always have to be that protector and provider.
01:00:04.000And the truth is, no one is that at all moments in time.
01:00:07.000This goes back to what we talked about, this idea of duty.
01:00:10.000This man may be mixed up inside, but I see this stemming from a man who feels an obligation, a sense of duty that, well, it would be irresponsible for me to bring a child in the world and leave him fatherless because he doesn't want to set a Child up for failure.
01:00:23.000And I know that you love this man, and I also think there's a strong argument to be made, like Gerald said, but you might be setting this up right now in a dynamic of him on the side of duty, and you on the side of emotion, what you feel and what you've always wanted.
01:00:37.000Where if you approach it that way, he may be like, yeah, but you're being selfish.
01:00:41.000Because what about that kid not having a debt?