Louder with Crowder - Trump Defunds the WHO! | #8 Good Morning MugClub

00:00:00.000 Oh But it's not the intro it was me

00:00:15.000 It's kind of like a segway, really more of a technical blend.

00:00:22.000 We have, of course, Corda Black Garrett, Audio Wade, and Gerald A. is here.

00:00:26.000 I appreciate him being here.

00:00:27.000 My half-nation lawyer Bill Richman is not here, so to run interference for me, which means that I have no protection, is Evan Brendan.

00:00:32.000 How are you, sir?

00:00:33.000 Good.

00:00:33.000 Good morning.

00:00:34.000 I'm glad you... where'd you get those masks?

00:00:34.000 Good.

00:00:36.000 I got them from Origin, Maine.

00:00:38.000 Nice.

00:00:38.000 Origin, Maine.

00:00:39.000 Yeah.

00:00:39.000 This is the guy who climbs all the trees and the poles, and he had no idea he was going to be on the show until just now.

00:00:45.000 Oh! 0.60

00:00:45.000 Well, welcome! 0.60

00:00:47.000 Not really.

00:00:47.000 Thanks for bringing your masks.

00:00:48.000 I do want to know, though, who chose... put up... show your pajamas there, even, Brendan.

00:00:52.000 Show your pajamas, yeah.

00:00:53.000 Did you make the silk selections?

00:00:56.000 There were two options, and one of them was like...

00:00:59.000 One of them was not silk.

00:01:01.000 When they're silk, you go silk.

00:01:03.000 He opted to go Death Comedy Jam.

00:01:06.000 And by the way, you and you, Audio Wade, you could both be a Home Alone color palette.

00:01:11.000 It's all green and burgundy.

00:01:13.000 And that burgundy is, I think, exclusive to morning robes.

00:01:17.000 I don't like colors used for anything else other than filthy old robes.

00:01:20.000 You're like, how long have I had this robe?

00:01:22.000 And why is it burgundy?

00:01:24.000 Nothing else wants to occupy that part of the color wheel.

00:01:28.000 Everybody from Big Robe got together and said, no, burgundy.

00:01:30.000 By the way, the color wheel is a sham.

00:01:32.000 It's a hoax.

00:01:32.000 Really?

00:01:33.000 Some of them are just shades.

00:01:34.000 So it is Mug Club Quarantine. 0.99

00:01:36.000 Use the hashtag Mug Club Quarantine so we can knock out that bastard Jim Acosta. 0.99

00:01:36.000 That's the hashtag. 0.99

00:01:40.000 I think he's trending right now.

00:01:41.000 The promo code is quarantine.

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00:01:52.000 Schedule every night at 8pm, all of April.

00:01:55.000 And of course, Good Morning Monk Club, Monday, Wednesday, Friday.

00:01:58.000 We will be talking about Donald Trump wanting to defund the World Health Organization.

00:02:04.000 Chris Cuomo.

00:02:05.000 Yeah.

00:02:06.000 Right up.

00:02:07.000 Which is kind of tough because what do you do when I do what a POS segment with Chris Cuomo.

00:02:10.000 It's almost like I've explored all the nooks and crannies.

00:02:12.000 You really have.

00:02:13.000 Like at this point I had to do underwater spelunking.

00:02:16.000 There are new nooks.

00:02:17.000 There are no new nooks.

00:02:17.000 New crannies.

00:02:18.000 There's a lot of... No, Chris Cuomo, Chris Cuomo, he's positively convex.

00:02:24.000 There's nothing to unpeel.

00:02:27.000 There isn't even a breakfast nook.

00:02:29.000 None at all.

00:02:30.000 And what else are we going to be talking about?

00:02:31.000 We'll also be talking about, oh, just showing some of the video from the best Trump presser of this week.

00:02:38.000 Let me know if you would like, I've thought about us just running the Trump press briefings, just because I want to do the job that the media won't when CNN cuts out from it.

00:02:45.000 So I know it's not what we do, obviously it's an entertainment comedy channel, but maybe here or at Crowder Bits where you can subscribe, we might just run a feed from one of the public networks.

00:02:52.000 Yeah.

00:02:52.000 be defunded so let me know what you think well what do you mean monetize

00:02:56.000 sorry do you work here look the shake who do you think is signing the fronts

00:03:02.000 of your checks bin Solomon's that Google speaking of which that's our first story

00:03:06.000 I think Stevie son can bring it up that Donald Trump is putting his name on the

00:03:14.000 Yeah, which people are really upset about.

00:03:15.000 The Treasury said that it won't create a delay, but honestly, who knows? 0.99

00:03:20.000 I think it's petty and stupid, and Donald Trump shouldn't care, but neither should you. 0.99

00:03:25.000 You're getting a check! 1.00

00:03:27.000 That's that you did nothing for other than stay at home.

00:03:30.000 Yeah.

00:03:31.000 You're getting a snow day check.

00:03:32.000 Can we call them Trump checks?

00:03:34.000 Can we call them Trump checks?

00:03:36.000 Please?

00:03:36.000 Pence is like, I'd like to put my name on one of those.

00:03:36.000 Yeah.

00:03:38.000 No, no, no, no, no one.

00:03:42.000 No one would buy it.

00:03:44.000 I believe you all got your Trump checks.

00:03:46.000 You don't even have sideburns.

00:03:49.000 Really quickly, let's tune into, oh there we go, let's see what CNN has going on.

00:03:54.000 Sanjay Gupta is there, as well as a canary.

00:03:56.000 A canary? 0.94

00:03:57.000 Weird Al.

00:03:58.000 I was going to say, Weird Al.

00:03:59.000 And or Slash.

00:04:00.000 Yeah, didn't recognize him without the top hat.

00:04:04.000 Not 100% sure about that.

00:04:06.000 Okay, so we'll get to Donald Trump defunding, and also we'll be playing hipster or hobo

00:04:09.000 You can play along with us.

00:04:10.000 Send in your chats at The Blaze.

00:04:12.000 I know the chat kind of sucks in that it doesn't give you a username, but just type in your name in your chat.

00:04:16.000 But first, I always want to thank our sponsors.

00:04:18.000 Today's show is sponsored, brought to you by BED.

00:04:22.000 Zuh.

00:04:23.000 People ask... Beds.

00:04:27.000 I wrote this very poorly.

00:04:28.000 But we do appreciate the support.

00:04:29.000 Beds.

00:04:30.000 People ask how we prepare for this show, by the way.

00:04:32.000 And really, I don't know how we would do it here for Good Morning Montgomery without beds.

00:04:36.000 Right.

00:04:37.000 And you use this product pretty often, right?

00:04:39.000 Almost every day.

00:04:40.000 I use a bed almost every day.

00:04:40.000 Wow.

00:04:41.000 That is very useful.

00:04:42.000 And for many hours.

00:04:44.000 Hours a day.

00:04:45.000 So to check out this product, go to your favorite search engine and type in BEDS.

00:04:48.000 Use the promo code ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ Brennan, do you use a bed?

00:05:02.000 I imagine you sleep upside down.

00:05:03.000 I got out of my bed 30 minutes ago.

00:05:05.000 Really?

00:05:06.000 That's a great thing to tell your employer.

00:05:08.000 Yeah, we thought you prepped.

00:05:10.000 I put in zero effort.

00:05:12.000 Unfortunately for me, you're a genius, so I can't fire you, but don't use it as leverage.

00:05:16.000 I don't know that that's true.

00:05:19.000 Oh, by the way, this is something that my friend Johnny Boy and I have been doing.

00:05:21.000 I realize we talked about it off air.

00:05:22.000 We haven't talked about it on air. 0.98

00:05:25.000 You're such a narc, Gerald. 0.98

00:05:26.000 If you tell on me on this, I swear to you. 0.99

00:05:28.000 Why am I the narcissist?

00:05:29.000 Because you've always said that you would tell on me, even if I committed a righteous crime.

00:05:33.000 So I have not harmed anybody.

00:05:35.000 You said, if you murdered somebody, I would put you in. 1.00

00:05:38.000 Pedophiles. 1.00

00:05:39.000 Pedophiles. 0.98

00:05:39.000 I knew that would shut you up. 0.98

00:05:41.000 Registered sex offenders.

00:05:43.000 One of my good friends, and I swear, Audio Wade, if you sell me out, I know you won't. 0.95

00:05:47.000 I know you won't, because snitches get stitches. 1.00

00:05:50.000 Which is a horrible message for a community, by the way.

00:05:53.000 But you gotta go with it.

00:05:55.000 Johnny Boy and I have found pedophiles.

00:05:57.000 And we don't commit any crimes other than disturbing the peace.

00:06:00.000 Okay, that's good.

00:06:01.000 We drive out in front of their houses at night and honk.

00:06:04.000 Incessantly.

00:06:05.000 Until we see the lights turn on.

00:06:06.000 But I know you're thinking, what about the other people in the neighborhood?

00:06:08.000 We find corner lot pedophiles.

00:06:09.000 Are you serious?

00:06:10.000 I swear to God.

00:06:11.000 We have found multiple corner lot pedophiles.

00:06:14.000 They do really well for themselves in the real estate market.

00:06:16.000 I would love for there to be some kind of a study, a meta-analysis of pedophiles on corner lots.

00:06:22.000 Tweet using the hashtag AnnoyThePedophiles.

00:06:24.000 I want everyone to do this.

00:06:26.000 Find the pedophiles in your neighborhood.

00:06:28.000 And I don't mean someone who peed in a public park.

00:06:29.000 I don't mean someone who's like a 19-year-old who had a girlfriend who was 17.

00:06:32.000 No, no, no.

00:06:33.000 You can read up there.

00:06:34.000 We're talking about actual pedophiles who are a harm to others, which is why, like, I'm Charles Bronson in Death Wish.

00:06:42.000 In a Nissan.

00:06:44.000 And the kid's probably in there, you know, like, I don't know, watching Dora the Explorer.

00:06:49.000 He's like, what the hell?

00:06:52.000 And I feel good because I know I made his life more unpleasant.

00:06:56.000 What time do you guys typically do this?

00:06:57.000 As late as we can, which for me means about 10.30.

00:07:00.000 Because after that, I'm not going to be any good to anyone.

00:07:04.000 I wouldn't be any good to you, and I wouldn't be serving the community in accosting pedophiles properly if I tried to go any later.

00:07:11.000 I wonder how this little bit would have gone if Bill had been here, your lawyer.

00:07:15.000 I already told him.

00:07:16.000 He said it was a good idea.

00:07:17.000 He said it was good?

00:07:19.000 He's going to join us.

00:07:21.000 What do you think about it, pedophiles honking?

00:07:24.000 I don't know.

00:07:24.000 I don't really feel like that's a good deterrent.

00:07:26.000 You don't think?

00:07:27.000 What do you mean?

00:07:28.000 I don't know.

00:07:28.000 I don't think of things.

00:07:29.000 Oh, geez.

00:07:30.000 What did you think was going to happen?

00:07:31.000 He's like, I don't think it's not a good deterrent.

00:07:37.000 All right.

00:07:38.000 So let's get to the first story.

00:07:40.000 President Trump wants to defund the World Health Organization.

00:07:43.000 I don't want to say that this show influences heads of state, but we were kind of early on the China thing and World Health Organization, and then you see it kind of It was sort of parroted on Fox News from people who were not talking about that even beforehand.

00:07:56.000 And then Donald Trump's like, you know what?

00:07:58.000 I think we should look into the who's. 1.00

00:08:00.000 No more Dahu During for those sons of bitches. 1.00

00:08:05.000 I'm not even going to leave a crumb that's too small for a mouse. 1.00

00:08:09.000 That's a Grinch reference.

00:08:10.000 So let's watch.

00:08:11.000 Let's go to the clip for people who missed it that he is going to defund the World Health Organization.

00:08:16.000 I love it.

00:08:16.000 Today I'm instructing my administration to halt Funding of the World Health Organization while a review is conducted to assess the world.

00:08:28.000 Health organization.

00:08:29.000 The world?

00:08:30.000 A review of the world.

00:08:32.000 Covering up the spread of the coronavirus.

00:08:36.000 Everybody knows what's going on there.

00:08:38.000 Everybody knows what's going on there.

00:08:42.000 China.

00:08:43.000 They told me not to say Chinese virus.

00:08:47.000 Oh my.

00:08:48.000 It must have slipped.

00:08:48.000 I didn't say it.

00:08:51.000 Whoa.

00:08:52.000 Whoa.

00:08:53.000 I'm so slippery.

00:08:54.000 We were half a second away from that happening, I swear.

00:08:56.000 We're going to review the world.

00:08:59.000 We're going to review the galaxy, but the Milky Way wouldn't take part in the census. 0.77

00:09:07.000 Something that I love about this.

00:09:07.000 So a couple of things.

00:09:09.000 We absolutely should, by the way.

00:09:10.000 And let me be really clear as to why, before I get into some of the fallout, which is just delightful.

00:09:15.000 It really is.

00:09:17.000 I don't want to say... the press is not the enemy of the American people.

00:09:19.000 That's what Stalin said.

00:09:20.000 People try to attribute this quote to Donald Trump.

00:09:22.000 The press... I think he said that now, since I defended him, which kind of, you know, hung me out to dry.

00:09:26.000 But!

00:09:27.000 Shouldn't have said it, if he said it. 0.98

00:09:29.000 Communists are the enemy of the American people.

00:09:31.000 Does that sound like McCarthyism? 0.72

00:09:32.000 I'm fine with it.

00:09:33.000 By the way, he was right about a lot of stuff.

00:09:34.000 He wasn't totally wrong, okay?

00:09:38.000 Communism is the enemy of the American people.

00:09:40.000 And communist sympathizers are the enemy of the American people.

00:09:44.000 That means the World Health Organization.

00:09:45.000 And that means the media who carries their water.

00:09:47.000 If you are a member of the media, and you are excoriating our president at this point for simply saying that we should defund the World Health Organization, you're a communist sympathizer.

00:09:57.000 There is Team America, and there is Team Communists who don't even acknowledge that Taiwan exists. 0.56

00:10:02.000 So, when given the option of funding communist propaganda or not, usually I choose to, well, to not.

00:10:10.000 Yes.

00:10:11.000 Well, you should.

00:10:12.000 And forgive us for looking at history and saying, well, look, this is a failed ideology that leads to millions of its citizens being killed and oppressed and typically ends very poorly in World War.

00:10:21.000 So, we'll not go down that road.

00:10:23.000 If you guys can just, like, report the news, that'd be great.

00:10:25.000 It just happened a couple of times.

00:10:26.000 Just a couple of times.

00:10:27.000 And in the realm of American history... Every single time it happens.

00:10:30.000 I mean, it happened like, you know, what, 30 years ago?

00:10:33.000 World War II?

00:10:34.000 It's not like, give or take, another 40, rounding.

00:10:39.000 But in the realm of history, we look back at like, oh, you look back at the Romans and the Ottomans, you're talking about a very large gap compared to how long it's been since our last world war.

00:10:48.000 Not that long.

00:10:49.000 Do you know when World War II was there, Brennan?

00:10:51.000 The 40s.

00:10:53.000 You got it about right.

00:10:53.000 Hey, there you go.

00:10:56.000 Pretty close.

00:10:57.000 So, of course you have the leftist politicians.

00:11:00.000 They've been completely outraged and going to bat for the World Health Organization.

00:11:03.000 None other than Jim Acosta.

00:11:05.000 Love it.

00:11:05.000 You can always count on him.

00:11:07.000 He took it so far to say that Donald Trump unfairly blamed the World Health Organization in China.

00:11:13.000 Now, the operative word there is unfairly.

00:11:16.000 Because it would be unfair if President Trump blamed the World Health Organization in China and they had nothing to do with it.

00:11:23.000 If they were completely innocent, that would be unfair.

00:11:25.000 If it were the Italian flu.

00:11:27.000 If it were the Luxembourg sniffles. 0.76

00:11:30.000 That's a valid point.

00:11:31.000 But it did come from China.

00:11:33.000 China lied about it.

00:11:34.000 And the World Health Organization said, don't worry, we'll help.

00:11:40.000 We like you.

00:11:41.000 Thank you very much, and we'll help carry your water.

00:11:43.000 Yeah, kind of like me with this morning show here.

00:11:46.000 Is he alive?

00:11:47.000 Is he still alive?

00:11:48.000 I don't know if he can breathe through that mask, actually.

00:11:50.000 Can you breathe?

00:11:50.000 Do you need to pull it down?

00:11:51.000 Do you need to pull down the mask?

00:11:52.000 It's loose.

00:11:53.000 Hey, don't touch the mask!

00:11:54.000 Oh, you just ruined it! 0.92

00:11:56.000 You're trying to take down the mask, and he hits the microphone like a Jerry Lewis spit.

00:12:02.000 Oh, the mask!

00:12:03.000 Hey, ladies! 1.00

00:12:05.000 Somebody give this guy a phone.

00:12:10.000 And here's something, we've talked about this quite a bit.

00:12:12.000 If it existed in a vacuum, the World Health Organization, right? 0.99

00:12:15.000 If it just existed as though, oh, they kind of suck, they said some crappy things. 0.99

00:12:18.000 Right. 0.99

00:12:18.000 No, it doesn't. 0.99

00:12:19.000 Context matters.

00:12:20.000 Taiwan warned the World Health Organization of the dangers of human-to-human transmission in December.

00:12:26.000 In December!

00:12:27.000 And they ignored.

00:12:28.000 Seems like that information would have been helpful.

00:12:31.000 It seems like it would have been helpful.

00:12:31.000 Seems like.

00:12:32.000 I could be wrong.

00:12:33.000 And then they denied the claim.

00:12:35.000 They denied the claim saying that, they said that Taiwan never did that.

00:12:38.000 And then Taiwan said, Oh!

00:12:40.000 Goofy, I have receipts!

00:12:42.000 They brought this up, they released the emails.

00:12:44.000 So I think we have that as an over...

00:12:46.000 They released the emails, this has nothing to do with...

00:12:48.000 That's that, yeah.

00:12:49.000 This is my live read for beds.

00:12:51.000 Promo code, glad you wrote that down.

00:12:53.000 Geez.

00:12:54.000 Now is that a transgender on CNN right now? 0.99

00:12:57.000 That's the problem with the whole LGBTQAIP movement. 1.00

00:13:00.000 I never give them the benefit of the doubt.

00:13:01.000 Wait, wait for the voice.

00:13:03.000 If there's an above average amount of makeup, I assume it's a guy.

00:13:03.000 Wait for the voice.

00:13:06.000 Love you myself, but I am a guy.

00:13:06.000 Yeah.

00:13:12.000 So conventional wisdom.

00:13:13.000 No, with a little bit of mic feedback, which could be confused as Adam's apple reverberation.

00:13:21.000 Do you like surprises?

00:13:22.000 No, not in my morning news.

00:13:27.000 One of the things about this is that Donald Trump, we can say what we want to say.

00:13:27.000 Yeah, go ahead.

00:13:31.000 He didn't just defund the WHO.

00:13:33.000 He basically said, we're going to stop all funding to do a review.

00:13:36.000 Right.

00:13:37.000 Which he could still end up going back and saying, all right, we'll fund them.

00:13:40.000 I doubt that'll happen.

00:13:41.000 This is the first step towards defunding them.

00:13:43.000 But that's a reasonable thing to do, to say, whoa, whoa, whoa.

00:13:45.000 There's all this evidence that these guys were bad actors in this, and they should have done their job better.

00:13:50.000 We're not going to fund them until we figure that out.

00:13:51.000 Why is that controversial?

00:13:52.000 And it's entirely accurate, because the Chinese can't act. 1.00

00:13:57.000 They're very bad actors, like I said. 0.82

00:14:00.000 Jackie Chan was their best one.

00:14:01.000 He was their best one.

00:14:02.000 That's their MVP.

00:14:02.000 And he's not even that good.

00:14:05.000 Now, I know you're gonna say, that's racist.

00:14:05.000 Yeah.

00:14:08.000 Sure. 0.91

00:14:09.000 So, I don't, yeah, like, it is amazing that Asians are really bad actors. 1.00

00:14:13.000 I think when you saw Kim Jong-il die, that entire nation deserved a Razzie.

00:14:16.000 Yeah, and that's certainly not what I meant. 0.90

00:14:18.000 It wasn't like, oh, he shed a tear, you know, like the Native American because a little bit of trash by the roadside, you know, like, hi!

00:14:23.000 Oh, yeah, that's tough to find that job hard to fill yeah I don't know how much of it is they were indoctrinated how

00:14:32.000 much of them like they bought the propaganda sure But it's so tough to know because it was so bad at the art

00:14:37.000 of acting they'll be killed Yeah, that's the whole thing. Can you think of any good

00:14:40.000 Asian actors Brendan?

00:14:41.000 Jet Li's and what yeah bendable. Yeah, he did some great.

00:14:47.000 He did some great work with DM and or X. Yes Yeah

00:14:53.000 me. It was an experiment.

00:14:56.000 And here's a good thing, there's a new poll out too, because the media's just been torching

00:15:02.000 obviously any of their credibility.

00:15:04.000 And that's important to note.

00:15:05.000 Remember right now, because I guarantee you four, five, six months from now, stories are

00:15:09.000 going to come out about the World Health Organization corruption, where everyone else is going to

00:15:13.000 acknowledge it.

00:15:14.000 Just like after the story, Donald Trump didn't want to send ventilators.

00:15:17.000 They didn't need 40,000 ventilators.

00:15:18.000 No place on earth at this point, well I don't know about other countries, no place in the United States, I should say, needed 40,000 ventilators.

00:15:25.000 New York City topped out at 4,000.

00:15:28.000 So they covered it saying, Donald Trump doesn't care about states, doesn't care about people dying, he's not sending out ventilators.

00:15:33.000 They just move on when it turns out they don't need the ventilators.

00:15:33.000 And now what do they do?

00:15:36.000 This is what they'll do.

00:15:37.000 Right now they defend the World Health Organization.

00:15:38.000 Why?

00:15:39.000 Because they hate Donald Trump, that they can't help themselves.

00:15:42.000 Wait a second, you do know that the World Health Organization, like they're parroting communist propaganda points and they you know they refuse

00:15:46.000 to acknowledge Taiwan it's like no I I know I side with them because you don't 1.00

00:15:52.000 Donald Trump I can't help it there's nothing there's nothing I could do he said

00:15:56.000 they don't he said he didn't like them I have to defend them which Donald Trump

00:16:01.000 has gotten say I don't like Hitler and just watch them tear themselves apart

00:16:06.000 limb from limb so there's a new

00:16:10.000 Just so you know, it's not just us.

00:16:11.000 Let's tune into CNN right now.

00:16:12.000 Do they have moms? 1.00

00:16:13.000 Oh, that's right.

00:16:13.000 They can learn.

00:16:13.000 I wanted to make sure, you never know.

00:16:15.000 Millions of children, your children, our children, out of school because of this pandemic.

00:16:19.000 Many still don't have what they need, don't have Wi-Fi, don't have computers.

00:16:23.000 Do they have moms? They can learn.

00:16:25.000 So, oh that's right, you hate that. You're not on board with the mom.

00:16:30.000 How did we learn before Wi-Fi?

00:16:32.000 How did we learn?

00:16:33.000 Can anyone get me a book report on how fire was started?

00:16:36.000 A what report?

00:16:37.000 How did they do it without charter schools?

00:16:41.000 I know this is wrong, but what do we do during the summertime when the same exact number of kids are out of school?

00:16:47.000 Oh, oh no.

00:16:49.000 I don't know.

00:16:49.000 I know that there's no daycare and stuff, so that's the caveat, but I mean, come on.

00:16:53.000 What was that wrong? 0.89

00:16:55.000 Do you need a zip fizz to clean up your brain here?

00:16:58.000 You're like, I know it's wrong, but summer vacation.

00:17:01.000 I'm sorry.

00:17:04.000 I'm trying to compute what could possibly have been offensive there.

00:17:06.000 The caveat was that there is no daycare for people who are going to work that used it during the summer.

00:17:10.000 So daycare's done.

00:17:12.000 Yeah, but daycare isn't required when you're home all day and you can care.

00:17:16.000 Right, yeah.

00:17:17.000 I get that, yeah.

00:17:18.000 But moms and dads still work from home sometimes, so I'm saying there's caveats.

00:17:22.000 Even, Brendan, I'm hoping this might be one of those things where you catch something we miss because we, you know... Do you know what he thought was offensive in that statement?

00:17:28.000 No, but I guess I don't see his point, though, because like...

00:17:32.000 Summer is supposed to be only three months, not like the whole year?

00:17:36.000 Yeah!

00:17:36.000 No, my whole point was that in summer, the exact same number of kids are out and we deal with it for three months and it's not that big of a deal.

00:17:43.000 Oh, okay, so I see.

00:17:44.000 You were talking about an entirely unrelated point.

00:17:45.000 I was playing 4D chess and you guys were still like 2D.

00:17:48.000 No, no, no, you were playing chess in a pool.

00:17:51.000 It's still 4D, Steven.

00:17:52.000 You could be on a floaty and play chess.

00:17:56.000 No, we were talking about how will they learn.

00:17:58.000 They can learn.

00:17:59.000 I had a teacher one time who got mad at me in the third grade for missing class because we were going on a family trip.

00:18:04.000 My parents were like, do you really think that he's not going to learn more traveling across North America than sitting in a class?

00:18:12.000 He'll find out what happened to the big red dog.

00:18:15.000 We can tell him.

00:18:17.000 Spoiler alert.

00:18:18.000 We can tell them once we pass Toronto, okay?

00:18:20.000 It's not that big of a deal.

00:18:22.000 And again, all of this is designed when you look... Ah, it's a Sarah McLachlan thing.

00:18:25.000 I can't even look.

00:18:26.000 Why do they do this?

00:18:27.000 Why do they do this?

00:18:28.000 We get it.

00:18:28.000 Rescue a dog and buy gold and bed sheets, CNN.

00:18:31.000 We understand your target market.

00:18:33.000 Oh boy.

00:18:35.000 It is just so userous.

00:18:37.000 I can't look at it right now.

00:18:38.000 90% of Republicans, 60% of Democrats, and 70% of Independents believe that China is responsible for the spread of the virus, according to the most recent Harris poll.

00:18:41.000 Yeah, so that's 70%.

00:18:42.000 Look at this, 90% of Republicans, 60% of Democrats, and 70% of Independents believe that China

00:18:49.000 is responsible for the spread of the virus according to the most recent Harris poll. 0.78

00:18:52.000 Racist.

00:18:53.000 Yeah, so that's 70%. 0.87

00:18:54.000 Yeah, actually it's 75% of Independents.

00:18:57.000 Oh, okay, sorry, I got that wrong.

00:19:04.000 It's not me!

00:19:04.000 It's an overlay!

00:19:05.000 It's an overlay!

00:19:05.000 It's not me!

00:19:06.000 It's an overlay!

00:19:06.000 It's not me!

00:19:07.000 It's not me!

00:19:07.000 It's an overlay!

00:19:07.000 It's not me!

00:19:07.000 It's an overlay!

00:19:08.000 It's not me!

00:19:08.000 It's an overlay!

00:19:09.000 It's not me!

00:19:09.000 It's an overlay!

00:19:09.000 It's not me!

00:19:10.000 It's an overlay!

00:19:10.000 It's not me!

00:19:10.000 It's an overlay!

00:19:11.000 It's not me!

00:19:11.000 It's an overlay!

00:19:12.000 It's not me!

00:19:12.000 It's an overlay!

00:19:13.000 It's not me!

00:19:13.000 It's an overlay!

00:19:13.000 It's not me!

00:19:13.000 It's an overlay!

00:19:14.000 It's not me!

00:19:15.000 It's an overlay!

00:19:15.000 It's not me!

00:19:16.000 It's not me!

00:19:16.000 It's an overlay!

00:19:17.000 It's not me!

00:19:22.000 It's not me I don't like it. 0.99

00:19:24.000 It sucks. 0.98

00:19:26.000 It's making me look bad. 0.98

00:19:27.000 So I guess, yeah, I said 75.

00:19:28.000 I said 70.

00:19:28.000 You know what?

00:19:29.000 I undershot it.

00:19:30.000 Yeah, it's 75% of independence.

00:19:32.000 You know, I actually had this happen a long time ago when I talked about the Detroit unemployment rate being 27.8%.

00:19:36.000 Oh.

00:19:37.000 And I don't know if it was Washington Post who fact-checked me, like, no, it's actually 28.2.

00:19:41.000 Oh.

00:19:41.000 I stand corrected.

00:19:43.000 Thank you for making my point.

00:19:44.000 And the funny thing is that they corrected me.

00:19:45.000 The next day it went to 50%.

00:19:49.000 Wow.

00:19:49.000 In Detroit.

00:19:50.000 Well, well, well.

00:19:51.000 Let's not concern ourselves with minor details.

00:19:54.000 And the article was probably like, Steven Crowder gets it wrong again.

00:19:56.000 I get it wrong very often, I'm not going to lie.

00:19:58.000 This is very common.

00:20:00.000 Totally missing your whole point.

00:20:01.000 As wrong in my selection this morning.

00:20:04.000 That's true.

00:20:05.000 It goes way back, actually.

00:20:09.000 This is remarkable to me that the media has no understanding that the American public don't trust them and don't trust the World Health Organization.

00:20:16.000 Yeah, and they feel like they're the ones that are the arbiters of truth.

00:20:18.000 They're out there just like putting it out there like, oh yeah, of course, everybody trusts us.

00:20:21.000 We're out here doing our job and standing up against the lies of this media.

00:20:24.000 No, I don't think they believe that.

00:20:25.000 This administration.

00:20:26.000 You don't think that?

00:20:27.000 No, I don't think they believe that.

00:20:28.000 I think at this point they're going, oh, people don't trust us.

00:20:31.000 We're circling the drain.

00:20:32.000 And so let's just go full tilt leftist and then ask for a bailout.

00:20:37.000 I mean, that's possible.

00:20:38.000 No, it's what they've said.

00:20:39.000 No, I know they want to be bailed out.

00:20:40.000 So next story is, are you ready for this, Brendan?

00:20:42.000 He doesn't even have any water.

00:20:43.000 Do you want some milk?

00:20:45.000 I would love some milk.

00:20:47.000 Let's get Brandon a mug full of milk.

00:20:50.000 That'll help him be the Brandon I took care of for a week and a half at my house after he blew out his knee.

00:20:57.000 Remember when you thought you had to amputate your leg?

00:21:01.000 He was like, it doesn't work anymore.

00:21:02.000 It just turned out that he had tied the knee brace way too tight.

00:21:05.000 It was way more purple than what you have going on right now.

00:21:08.000 Yeah, but I don't have anything going on with my knee right now.

00:21:10.000 So you mean it's more purple than standard skin color?

00:21:12.000 Yes.

00:21:13.000 Yes.

00:21:13.000 Oh, yeah, my foot when it was in the ice bath.

00:21:15.000 It was.

00:21:16.000 But the thing is, we were trying to solve this problem with Brendan.

00:21:18.000 He had knee surgery from standing.

00:21:20.000 And he was over at my house because I was like, well, you can't just live.

00:21:24.000 And I appreciate it.

00:21:25.000 He wanted to come into work that day.

00:21:26.000 I was like, I haven't had knee surgery.

00:21:28.000 That's not going to happen.

00:21:28.000 No.

00:21:29.000 So he came to our house, and he had to sit there, and we took care of him for about a week, and he was going, my knee, my leg really hurts, and we're trying to figure out what's wrong with it, if we have to call the hospital, what we need to do, elevate his leg, and he didn't tell us that he had ratcheted it down like a camper van.

00:21:45.000 Why would you put on a hitch and I then finally I lift up his pant legs and it looks like like like I

00:21:51.000 would imagine like Kathy Bates varicose veins you know in the bottom of her like is it varicose veins 1.00

00:21:55.000 or is it spider veins it's the same I'm not necessarily but you know the veins of fat people

00:22:00.000 yes particularly old fat women my aunt had that that's what your leg looked like yeah and he just 0.89

00:22:04.000 didn't think to let us know like oh wait maybe you should know that I tied it down with a rope

00:22:10.000 and then used a hockey skate ratcheting tool.

00:22:13.000 I thought putting a tourniquet on my leg would actually help it.

00:22:16.000 Yeah, exactly.

00:22:17.000 I thought the best thing was to entirely stop blood flow to the area to ensure healing.

00:22:22.000 I read a medical book from the 1800s and they said if I just bleed myself, I'll get better.

00:22:28.000 He doesn't have an understanding of human growth factors at all.

00:22:33.000 Silly Brendan, but I'm glad you're with us.

00:22:35.000 Okay, so this is something I wanted to talk about, because I realize that everyone else got this wrong, okay?

00:22:41.000 Everyone else, including everyone here, are saying, did you see how funny the presser was on, was it Tuesday?

00:22:46.000 No, it was Monday.

00:22:47.000 Monday night.

00:22:48.000 So this is when Donald Trump presented the video to the media of what a crappy job they've been doing.

00:22:53.000 It was his gift to them.

00:22:54.000 It was his gift to us, really.

00:22:56.000 Yeah, it really was.

00:22:57.000 And it was remarkable, but most people saw, if you were watching a main feed, first off, if you were watching CNN, they cut the feed.

00:23:02.000 Yeah.

00:23:02.000 Of course they do.

00:23:03.000 Who here has been watching the briefings at night?

00:23:07.000 I've watched about half.

00:23:09.000 I just saw the video later online.

00:23:11.000 Have you been watching them at all?

00:23:13.000 Can you imagine being in the CNN booth?

00:23:15.000 Cut it! 1.00

00:23:16.000 This is wonderful.

00:23:17.000 Knowing that in case I get something wrong that one of you can correct me.

00:23:20.000 You're using the clips that I've disseminated.

00:23:22.000 They could be incorrect!

00:23:26.000 We're trusting.

00:23:26.000 So the funny thing is with this presser that Donald Trump gave, people saw the video.

00:23:31.000 So you saw the feed of the video.

00:23:32.000 But what you didn't see, unless you watched a cheap sort of local Fox affiliate stream, which is what I usually do, local Fox, local CBS, you know, media that shouldn't exist anymore.

00:23:42.000 I just want to enjoy the last few.

00:23:44.000 The death throes of Fox 5 Tempe, Arizona.

00:23:50.000 Or it could be a CBS 6 Flagstaff.

00:23:54.000 They have a wonderful beat reporter whose name escapes me.

00:24:00.000 Um, so if you watch one of these local affiliates, they don't have the budget for, you know, the Michael Bay camera swoops.

00:24:06.000 And so all they have is one shot that just does this.

00:24:10.000 And so they didn't show the feed of the video, they showed the actual whole room with Donald Trump presenting this video.

00:24:18.000 with a timeline presenting it to the media.

00:24:20.000 And here's what's so amazing about this. 0.97

00:24:21.000 And we'll just we'll play this and I want everyone if you haven't seen it, what's amazing is that he is doing this with the people who are being highlighted in that video as morons in the room. 0.94

00:24:33.000 And then a couple times he looks at them and points at them.

00:24:36.000 So this is, again, you need to, this is the kind of thing that everyone needs to be seeing.

00:24:41.000 You don't just want to see the Windows Movie Maker crappy video made by a White House intern.

00:24:45.000 The entertainment factor here is watching Trump present. 0.98

00:24:48.000 It's like the inception of petty assholery.

00:24:53.000 But it's wonderful.

00:24:54.000 So let's play this clip from The Oppressor on Monday.

00:24:57.000 Now with that, I have a couple of interesting... We have a few clips that we're just going to put up.

00:25:03.000 We could turn the lights a little bit lower.

00:25:04.000 I think you'll find it interesting.

00:25:05.000 I really want to see.

00:25:06.000 Let's get some nice ambiance.

00:25:08.000 I'll ask you some questions.

00:25:10.000 He's easing them in.

00:25:11.000 Because you're so guilty, but...

00:25:14.000 Most importantly, we're going to get back onto the reason we're here, which is the success we're having, okay?

00:25:21.000 Please, you can put it on.

00:25:24.000 He looms over.

00:25:26.000 People should be more concerned right now with the flu in this country.

00:25:29.000 A lot of people are concerned about the coronavirus because they're hearing a lot of news about it right now.

00:25:33.000 But the reality is, comparing it to the flu, for example, it's not even close to being at that stage.

00:25:38.000 What if it is worse?

00:25:40.000 Is this a moment where maybe country politics aside, a little bit of pride aside, do we have U.S.

00:25:47.000 officials, should U.S.

00:25:49.000 professionals such as yourself get involved?

00:25:51.000 How worried should Americans be about coronavirus?

00:25:54.000 Coronavirus is not going to cause a major issue in the United States.

00:25:58.000 And now, I don't know who did the editing, but someone's like, we don't need transitions!

00:26:02.000 Now look at this, watch, watch!

00:26:06.000 That's a moving timeline!

00:26:08.000 It's a scroll!

00:26:09.000 Oh, we're tired on that.

00:26:11.000 We will be suspending all travel from Europe to the United States for the next 30 days.

00:26:16.000 To unleash the full power of the Trump administration, I wish I loved anything as much as Donald Trump loves

00:26:21.000 watching himself.

00:26:21.000 There's an emergency.

00:26:23.000 I am great.

00:26:23.000 Wait, watch it.

00:26:24.000 I am great.

00:26:26.000 Wait, watch it. At one point he looks someone in the eye.

00:26:31.000 Yeah, now with these weird transitions.

00:26:34.000 Yeah, I was talking like...

00:26:35.000 It's amazing that this was actually... You'd think he could hire, you know, the guy who's Peter Berg.

00:26:40.000 Look at that.

00:26:41.000 Look.

00:26:43.000 Look at that.

00:26:43.000 Now look!

00:26:44.000 He looks directly in someone's face!

00:26:45.000 Look at that right there! 0.90

00:26:46.000 He points up like, Remember that quote?

00:26:48.000 Remember that quote, you little pishat? 1.00

00:26:51.000 There's nowhere to hide!

00:26:55.000 The idea was to halt the spread of the disease, keep transmissions to a minimum.

00:26:59.000 Sounds reasonable.

00:27:00.000 So uncomfortable!

00:27:01.000 And Pence is just looking forward like he's at salute.

00:27:05.000 Like someone's about to fold up the flag and put it on a casket.

00:27:07.000 He's got that Adam and Eve pose.

00:27:10.000 It did actually take a pretty aggressive measure against the spread of the virus.

00:27:15.000 No, look, look, he's looking directly.

00:27:17.000 See, he points to someone.

00:27:19.000 See that?

00:27:19.000 Remember that?

00:27:20.000 Remember that?

00:27:21.000 That was you.

00:27:22.000 That was you.

00:27:23.000 I think the all caps was Trump's call.

00:27:26.000 How about this?

00:27:31.000 No!

00:27:32.000 He's probably looking at someone who works for Cuomo right now.

00:27:36.000 He returns calls.

00:27:37.000 He reaches out.

00:27:39.000 He's been proactive.

00:27:40.000 He tilts his head like, that's nice.

00:27:42.000 My voicemail is totally on.

00:27:44.000 Are you hearing this?

00:27:45.000 Is everyone hearing this?

00:27:47.000 Get enough volume?

00:27:49.000 Are you hearing this? Is everyone hearing this?

00:27:52.000 Medical stations.

00:27:54.000 And that's been very, very helpful.

00:27:56.000 The president has been outstanding through all this.

00:27:59.000 The vice president's been outstanding.

00:28:01.000 Members of the Cronin- Look at this guy.

00:28:03.000 He gives an eyebrow.

00:28:05.000 He does a Macaulay Culkin like, the eye.

00:28:08.000 My parents are in Florida and I'm in New York.

00:28:11.000 Wow, that's amazing the president said that.

00:28:13.000 I'm so glad he said it.

00:28:13.000 Aren't you, media?

00:28:15.000 Aren't you?

00:28:15.000 few minutes before I walked in here to say indeed they would grant that to New

00:28:19.000 Jersey so that's a big step for us. Well it's amazing the president said that.

00:28:23.000 I'm so glad he said it. Aren't you media? Aren't you? No that's right you're the one

00:28:28.000 who said that previous thing I pointed at you to call you out for. Arizona's request for a

00:28:33.000 presidential major disaster declaration. I want to thank the president. The lady behind him is

00:28:39.000 is Italian.

00:28:41.000 She talks with her hands, folks.

00:28:44.000 She just had a spicy meatball.

00:28:46.000 We make the best meatballs.

00:28:49.000 Look, he keeps looking someone in the eye at about his 5 o'clock.

00:28:54.000 uh... five o'clock the the the president the vice president for doing a really

00:28:57.000 good job of the issue it's a good uh...

00:29:02.000 and now he's definitely walks back slowly Look.

00:29:04.000 So we could give you hundreds of clips like that from governors, including Democratic or Democrat as I call them governors, which is actually the correct term.

00:29:15.000 I know someone had a talk with him.

00:29:18.000 They did.

00:29:19.000 So I was like, you know, you say Democrat, but depending on the context, people would say Democratic.

00:29:22.000 No.

00:29:24.000 I know terms.

00:29:25.000 I don't know terms.

00:29:28.000 I make terms.

00:29:32.000 I'm writing a new book.

00:29:32.000 Do you know what it's called?

00:29:34.000 The Art of the Terms.

00:29:36.000 So many terms.

00:29:38.000 To me, it is petty and childish and exactly the punishment that this media deserves for their misdeeds.

00:29:45.000 They're petty and childish too.

00:29:46.000 Absolutely.

00:29:47.000 It is like you having your nose rubbed in the carpet where you peed.

00:29:52.000 And so many people were like, I can't believe that he would do something like that in the midst of this crisis, that he would go out there and start off a press briefing like, have you watched what you've said about this president?

00:30:03.000 What is he supposed to do?

00:30:04.000 This is an honest question.

00:30:05.000 What is the president supposed to do when the media constantly lies and mischaracterizes what he says and does?

00:30:11.000 Is he supposed to just say, well, maybe you're right.

00:30:13.000 Maybe I am a bad guy, right?

00:30:15.000 When he's not wrong.

00:30:16.000 No, he can say, look, you guys said what you said you didn't say.

00:30:19.000 Hold that thought because I think Brendan's buzzing in.

00:30:21.000 What do you think, Brendan?

00:30:22.000 I really wasn't buzzing.

00:30:25.000 It was a malfunctioning buzzer.

00:30:28.000 Thanks, Brendan.

00:30:29.000 This is not a drill.

00:30:33.000 I get that it's petty and it's childish in the way that he did it, but it was absolutely what he said.

00:30:37.000 I mean it in the most wonderful of ways.

00:30:39.000 That's exactly what they deserve.

00:30:41.000 They need someone who just simply is simplistic. 0.97

00:30:44.000 Here's the thing, Donald Trump is not a dumb guy. 0.98

00:30:47.000 No. 0.96

00:30:47.000 People can say he's bombastic, but Donald Trump hasn't aged since he's become president. 0.96

00:30:51.000 Even if you compare him to Barack Obama or George W. Bush, he came in as bombastic, as not super articulate, but he is surprisingly quick on his feet sometimes.

00:30:59.000 He absolutely is.

00:31:01.000 But it's not gone away.

00:31:02.000 Think about Biden.

00:31:03.000 Someone was saying Biden could be president for eight years.

00:31:05.000 What?

00:31:05.000 Just in the last two years.

00:31:06.000 No, he doesn't make it through anything.

00:31:08.000 But look, he's mean for playing for them what they said.

00:31:13.000 Yeah.

00:31:14.000 At the end of the day, that's what we're saying, is that the president, how dare he play them what they said to them? 1.00

00:31:19.000 They either have to show their own words on their networks, or cut it and look like idiots. 1.00

00:31:23.000 Wait, hold on one second. 1.00

00:31:24.000 Speaking of idiots, CNN right now, their chyron says, union pushes to designate grocery workers as first responders. 1.00

00:31:30.000 And it looks like it is the MyPillowGuy's Ghost of Christmas Future. 1.00

00:31:35.000 Was he in the freezer too long?

00:31:36.000 Was that what your knee looked like?

00:31:37.000 It's like a used vacuum bag.

00:31:39.000 They pulled up, they dragged him out next to Walt Disney's corpse.

00:31:42.000 It looks like he's green-screened onto his own real background.

00:31:46.000 Hey, hey, hey, Walt!

00:31:47.000 We're gonna put- Walt!

00:31:49.000 Hey, Walt!

00:31:50.000 Shh! 0.97

00:31:50.000 Walt! 0.97

00:31:51.000 Wake up.

00:31:52.000 We need to put you next to Sanjay Gupta because his makeup artist is on furlough.

00:31:56.000 We need to make him look better by comparison.

00:31:58.000 Union pushes to designate grocery workers as first responders.

00:32:02.000 As unions would.

00:32:03.000 Well, good.

00:32:04.000 Yeah, because when I think first responders, step aside 9-11 firefighters who are running directly into the rubble.

00:32:10.000 There's someone at the Piggly Wiggly who has to check out my dentine ice.

00:32:14.000 I gotta restock the pickle aisle.

00:32:15.000 Oh my god.

00:32:16.000 I need time and a half. 1.00

00:32:17.000 What stupid things are they saying? 1.00

00:32:18.000 Protection equipment becomes available Think about this for a second. 1.00

00:32:22.000 This should be the main story right now.

00:32:24.000 It really is like a used vacuum bag. 0.88

00:32:27.000 Did he just say something about hating Jews? 0.93

00:32:28.000 I like that again, Wade.

00:32:29.000 That's still good.

00:32:30.000 That's even good the second time.

00:32:31.000 I appreciate it.

00:32:32.000 I'm gonna ask you this, because it gets better with age.

00:32:33.000 Oh my gosh, think about this for a second.

00:32:38.000 This should be the main story right now.

00:32:40.000 Not only that we are potentially not funding the World Health Organization, but hey, here's

00:32:45.000 The World Health Organization is basically an arm of the Chinese propaganda, Communist Party.

00:32:50.000 And instead, they're having a guy to talk about grocery stores.

00:32:53.000 Here's the thing.

00:32:54.000 I think that grocery store clerks, great, we should give them masks. 1.00

00:32:57.000 No problem with it.

00:32:59.000 But it's amazing to me that this is the coverage right now.

00:33:02.000 I understand that you don't want to cover the fact that you were bent over and effectively pretty sexually accosted like Joe Biden circa 93.

00:33:12.000 We're in 2019, what are you talking about?

00:33:14.000 Think about how uncomfortable that would be to be a member of the press and have the president show your misdeeds, show your quote saying, this is not as bad as the flu, and then look you in the eye like, remember it!

00:33:27.000 I remember!

00:33:32.000 He's like pointing with a little pointer.

00:33:33.000 Jim, is this you?

00:33:36.000 Am I mistaken?

00:33:37.000 But is that you, Jim?

00:33:38.000 All I'm doing is playing what you said.

00:33:40.000 Jim, is that you?

00:33:41.000 Oh, I see what you did.

00:33:42.000 You played a clip of me yesterday out of context.

00:33:46.000 Well, guess what?

00:33:47.000 Two can play at that game.

00:33:48.000 Only I'll include all the context. 0.99

00:33:51.000 Because context is what makes you assholes. 0.99

00:33:55.000 He's so diabolical for doing this. 1.00

00:33:58.000 He's like a super villain. 1.00

00:33:59.000 Show me on this doll where you screwed yourself. 0.98

00:34:06.000 So good. 0.97

00:34:09.000 I love it.

00:34:10.000 I love that this is his mentality, like that he's going to call them out every single time.

00:34:15.000 It's hilarious. 0.97

00:34:16.000 Show me on this doll where you screwed yourself.

00:34:18.000 I feel like you would just put it in a weird place.

00:34:23.000 Oh, that's weird.

00:34:25.000 You must be doing yoga. 0.99

00:34:28.000 So determined to screw yourself.

00:34:30.000 I appreciate your commitment, Jim. 0.79

00:34:32.000 Know what, when it comes to screwing themselves, you're tops.

00:34:39.000 By the way, do we have a Mug Club chat that we want to do?

00:34:41.000 Yeah, we do.

00:34:42.000 Okay, a couple of chats.

00:34:42.000 Let's take that before we go to a traffic update.

00:34:44.000 Yeah, we've got, good morning, guys.

00:34:45.000 Let's see, what face is the name, I guess?

00:34:47.000 Oh, that's not a real name.

00:34:48.000 Good morning, guys.

00:34:49.000 As you are a coffee guru, Steven, and because of anxiety and caffeine sensitivity, do you know of any decaf coffees that don't remind me of Wade's carried obsession?

00:35:00.000 Don't finish that.

00:35:01.000 He's not obsessed with them.

00:35:03.000 He's obsessed with joking about them, you know, so he can put some distance between himself and his secret thoughts.

00:35:08.000 I should have read this before I read it.

00:35:10.000 I should have double checked.

00:35:12.000 Gibbon is feeding me these.

00:35:14.000 Thanks Gibbon.

00:35:16.000 I don't know a whole lot about decaf because I'm a man.

00:35:18.000 They have a sensitivity!

00:35:22.000 I know they have decaf at Black Rife.

00:35:23.000 I don't drink decaf and I assume if their decaf is as good as their other blends then it's probably plenty good.

00:35:28.000 Decaf you tend to lose something because of the process.

00:35:30.000 I don't know.

00:35:30.000 I'm just not a big fan.

00:35:31.000 So I have anxiety and I just drink through it.

00:35:36.000 I drink through it, I power through it with more caffeine.

00:35:38.000 It's like an alcoholic being like, I'm an alcoholic, but I drink through it!

00:35:40.000 I drink coffee through the other side.

00:35:42.000 Um, yeah.

00:35:42.000 Another chat, is that what you were about to say there, Adioi?

00:35:44.000 Yeah, uh, let's see.

00:35:45.000 Uh, good morning.

00:35:46.000 If you could roast any president, who would you choose?

00:35:49.000 Thanks for the morning show, guys.

00:35:50.000 What says roast any president?

00:35:51.000 Roast, excuse me.

00:35:52.000 So I don't know if that means put them on my roster.

00:35:54.000 Huh.

00:35:54.000 I was assuming.

00:35:55.000 Is that short for something?

00:35:56.000 You were too busy scanning two lines ahead to make sure they don't reference your obsession with hot, hairy things.

00:36:03.000 If I could roast any president?

00:36:05.000 I don't know.

00:36:06.000 I honestly don't.

00:36:07.000 I've thought about this because they asked me to write at one point, I don't know who it was, to write for the Gridiron dinner.

00:36:12.000 Sure.

00:36:12.000 Not the correspondent, they asked me, and I said, well, no, I'm not going to write for someone else.

00:36:15.000 I mean, I'll show up and do it.

00:36:16.000 And instead, I think they had, like, Rich Little or something, you know?

00:36:18.000 I was like, oh, wait, what does Reagan sound like?

00:36:22.000 Tell me, Frank Travolino!

00:36:26.000 I don't know if Donald Trump has a thick enough skin to laugh at himself.

00:36:30.000 That's probably true.

00:36:31.000 Is it better that you like somebody that you're roasting or that you dislike?

00:36:34.000 Which way makes it easier?

00:36:35.000 Probably the best would be Ronald Reagan.

00:36:37.000 He seemed to have the best sense of humor about himself.

00:36:39.000 Who would I like to roast the most?

00:36:40.000 Jimmy Carter.

00:36:43.000 There's kind of a rule in comedy that nothing is off-limits.

00:36:46.000 Why did you just say really?

00:36:47.000 Because he's a Georgia peanut farmer?

00:36:49.000 Why would you assume that?

00:36:50.000 Why are you attributing motive?

00:36:53.000 There's no chess.

00:36:55.000 And he's not even playing checkers.

00:36:57.000 He's playing backgammon on a checkers board, but he's wildly entertaining himself.

00:37:01.000 He thinks that he knows what the chess is.

00:37:03.000 That's a backgammon board.

00:37:05.000 Just say it, and that's like the commercial.

00:37:07.000 Just say, he just thinks the commercial is just, I win!

00:37:09.000 He thinks that's the rule to the game.

00:37:11.000 No, I said I win!

00:37:13.000 But you woke daddy, he clearly, but I said I win!

00:37:16.000 So, Jimmy Carter, and the reason why is in comedy there's a rule that nothing is off limits except the helpless.

00:37:22.000 Okay.

00:37:22.000 Yeah.

00:37:23.000 So, that means typically, like, you know, people who have, um, obviously, like, disease, like, terminal illnesses, or people who are, you know, mentally retarded. 0.97

00:37:30.000 Like the Kim Peel thing. 0.60

00:37:32.000 Mentally retarded people. 1.00

00:37:33.000 But all of that goes out the window because Jimmy Carter was president. 0.96

00:37:37.000 So, it would be the one time where I could, not that I have a dream of laying into mentally retarded people, but I would be able to see what works when making fun of a mentally retarded person to the mentally retarded face. 1.00

00:37:51.000 of Jimmy Carter.

00:37:51.000 A few months back there was a time when Jimmy Carter was in the hospital because he had a bunch of pressure on his brain, and I think we did a joke on the show.

00:37:58.000 I think we did.

00:37:59.000 I think we cut it, right?

00:38:00.000 Because it was too mean?

00:38:02.000 It made it.

00:38:02.000 Oh, wow!

00:38:03.000 It was on the air. 0.89

00:38:04.000 Well, I'm just a horrible human being.

00:38:05.000 It's out there.

00:38:05.000 Go find it.

00:38:06.000 There goes the sponsorship from beds.

00:38:09.000 Aw, man.

00:38:09.000 They're very sensitive.

00:38:10.000 They won't touch us with a more than 10-foot bed post.

00:38:13.000 I love how relaxed Brendan is right now.

00:38:16.000 He's just chilling over there, right?

00:38:17.000 Are you alright there, Brendan?

00:38:18.000 Did another one perk you up?

00:38:20.000 You don't drink caffeine, do you?

00:38:21.000 No, the coffee machine's too complicated, so I don't want to touch it.

00:38:24.000 Yeah, it's a button.

00:38:25.000 You quite literally hit a button.

00:38:27.000 Right, but to clean it is... You don't have to.

00:38:30.000 You hit a button.

00:38:31.000 If I don't drink from it, then I won't be expected to clean it.

00:38:35.000 What are you talking about?

00:38:36.000 No one expects you to clean anything if only because we don't trust you.

00:38:40.000 We don't want salmonella! 0.98

00:38:42.000 This guy's brilliant.

00:38:43.000 We do have a question that includes something about coffee.

00:38:46.000 So, Paige says, if President Trump reopens the economy too soon, do you think it could potentially cost him votes in November?

00:38:52.000 Also, what coffee brewing method do you use in the studio?

00:38:55.000 Keep up the great work, guys.

00:38:56.000 I don't think that he can reopen the economy.

00:38:59.000 Parts of the economy too soon, at this point.

00:39:01.000 I think at this point, many parts of the economy.

00:39:03.000 I think at this point we need to determine what is non-essential.

00:39:06.000 What is essential, actually, on the opposite.

00:39:08.000 We need to determine what is, sorry, no wait, what is non-essential.

00:39:10.000 Wait, what am I saying?

00:39:13.000 I got topsy-turvy because I was watching that timeline.

00:39:16.000 Remember when you... Donald Trump could do this.

00:39:19.000 Remember when you said essential but you meant non-essential?

00:39:22.000 Are you sure you want to roast me?

00:39:24.000 I can show many clips of this, of your word whiskers.

00:39:29.000 You do an hour every day, two hours in April, which the quality took a nosedive.

00:39:34.000 Frankly, I was surprised you did that.

00:39:35.000 We were all surprised.

00:39:38.000 He even put Brendan on the show after he was still on painkillers.

00:39:46.000 What was the question?

00:39:47.000 About him losing votes.

00:39:49.000 No, I didn't mean to figure out what is non-essential.

00:39:52.000 In other words, the only industries that should be shut down and we should only be quarantining people who are vulnerable, old people. 1.00

00:39:57.000 I've been saying this all along.

00:39:58.000 Old people, people who are already sick, people with diabetes, quarantine them because that'll also benefit them long term if we develop some kind of a herd immunity. 0.99

00:40:06.000 I'm going to say herd mentality.

00:40:07.000 That's not a good thing.

00:40:08.000 No, no, no.

00:40:09.000 A herd immunity, but that can only happen if this runs its course.

00:40:12.000 It is going to run its course no matter what.

00:40:14.000 One way or the other, right.

00:40:15.000 The only thing that we're doing right now is slowing down, maybe overrunning the hospitals, which really isn't happening right now, and maybe that's because of the efforts.

00:40:22.000 But I don't think he can lose votes, but I think that the media will look for every single possible opportunity.

00:40:29.000 Wait, hold on a second, hold on a second.

00:40:30.000 the economy up. And I know we say that, he can't technically do all of that. It's really going to

00:40:33.000 go down to the states where it should be to say, hey, this is what we're going to do. I'm fine if

00:40:37.000 New York and California stay closed a little longer. They have more cases than anybody else.

00:40:40.000 So that's totally fine. But I think what they'll do is they'll look for the one.

00:40:40.000 Yeah.

00:40:44.000 I just want to make sure that you're done your research.

00:40:45.000 I'm 99% sure that I know New York has, they have two, they have one third of all cases in the

00:40:49.000 United States.

00:40:50.000 Wait, hold on a second. Hold on a second. Experts warn 400,000 could die in Japan if virus isn't

00:40:55.000 contained. You want to.

00:40:57.000 Really, guys?

00:40:58.000 You want to just watch that number go down like Ferris Bueller hacking into Ed Rooney's computer?

00:41:02.000 Yeah.

00:41:03.000 400,000.

00:41:04.000 Beep!

00:41:06.000 Great!

00:41:07.000 It's unbelievable.

00:41:09.000 I guarantee you it will not be 400,000.

00:41:11.000 I love that movie.

00:41:12.000 I guarantee you.

00:41:14.000 And I don't even know.

00:41:15.000 I don't have the numbers in front of me.

00:41:16.000 I'm just willing to stake my reputation on it.

00:41:18.000 Roll the dice there.

00:41:19.000 400,000 in Japan.

00:41:19.000 I will roll the dice.

00:41:22.000 Okay, I don't guarantee you, but I'm pretty sure.

00:41:24.000 I'm relatively sure.

00:41:26.000 As far as coffee, you know, we have an automatic, we have a Jura espresso machine here.

00:41:29.000 It's the most expensive non-camera equipment that we have, because Black Rifle is a sponsor.

00:41:34.000 So that's what we use in the studio.

00:41:35.000 And then at home, I usually use a Chemex, or I just do a quick pour-over thing.

00:41:40.000 Keep it pretty simple.

00:41:41.000 Or sometimes I use the individual pour-over.

00:41:43.000 So that is the best way, if you want good coffee, to just do a pour-over if you can.

00:41:47.000 Have an electric kettle, you control the temperature, it's pretty easy.

00:41:50.000 Otherwise, you have to get a really expensive coffee machine.

00:41:53.000 Like the Mr. Coffee, Black & Decker.

00:41:55.000 I would say if it's under $150, it's not getting the coffee hot enough.

00:41:59.000 We have a traffic update, right?

00:42:00.000 We do have a traffic update.

00:42:01.000 I was going to say, we actually have a breaking news story at the top of the map.

00:42:06.000 Reg should send it to us.

00:42:07.000 No.

00:42:09.000 China urges the U.S. 0.97

00:42:10.000 not to halt its funding to the World Health Organization.

00:42:14.000 China has an opinion about this.

00:42:16.000 China, if you care about that so much, you first.

00:42:21.000 How about you fund them?

00:42:23.000 Yeah, it's fine.

00:42:23.000 This is another thing.

00:42:24.000 Why should we be subsidizing your organization?

00:42:26.000 Or how about this?

00:42:27.000 Okay, China.

00:42:27.000 China.

00:42:29.000 How about, here are the rules.

00:42:31.000 First, you acknowledge Taiwan, you apologize, you cut the debt in half that anybody owes you at this point, you pay reparations, and you start funding the World Health Organization, and you know what?

00:42:41.000 How about toss a few bucks into NATO?

00:42:45.000 Then we'll consider taking any... This is what I would like to see.

00:42:50.000 If you do all of those things, then we will consider not ruining your day by messing up your entire government.

00:42:58.000 How about that?

00:43:00.000 This is as close to an act of war what China has been doing at this point as we have seen in the modern age. 0.69

00:43:05.000 Think about the Cold War and what we were afraid of.

00:43:07.000 Obviously nuclear weapons, but that's already happened now at this point.

00:43:10.000 China just needs to buddy up with the right people, by the way.

00:43:15.000 You can't even find a nuclear weapon outside of this hemisphere.

00:43:19.000 And it is remarkable that this is just more proof they expect the United States to front the world health care bills, medical innovation, we're the ones who have to come up with a vaccine, and we're the ones who have to fund the organization that lied to us about the disease and denied the only information that was actually accurate in December because of political motivations when it comes to Taiwan.

00:43:37.000 Why would we ever take part in anything the World Health Organization does?

00:43:41.000 Why should we care?

00:43:42.000 And China, even more, please do answer me this, why should we care what you think? 0.99

00:43:47.000 Even if there's 19 billion of you!

00:43:50.000 Now Donald Trump looks like he was, not prophetic, but he could see the future, like he was pulling out of some of these deals with China on purpose and saying, these guys are really, really horrible, we shouldn't be dealing with them this way, and it's because, oh my god, he was looking at them objectively.

00:44:02.000 Yeah.

00:44:03.000 And not bowing to everything they want to.

00:44:04.000 I'm bringing up the article now as this is breaking, so I apologize.

00:44:07.000 Yeah, no.

00:44:07.000 Global pandemic more than... The number of cases in New York... Domestic airline travel, TSA screens less than... What is this?

00:44:14.000 Oh, okay.

00:44:14.000 Well, here it is, right?

00:44:15.000 During Wednesday's press briefing in Beijing, Chinese foreign ministry spokesman Zhao Lijian said President Donald Trump... That's pretty good.

00:44:22.000 That's very good.

00:44:23.000 Authentic.

00:44:23.000 I would have thought that Brendan would chime in there since he's such a Jet Li fan.

00:44:28.000 I don't know that that means he can speak Cantonese or Mandarin.

00:44:30.000 By the way, the fact that I said, name me a good Chinese actor, and he said Jet Li.

00:44:35.000 Do you have any idea how shameful, what a black dot that is on your country's history? 1.00

00:44:39.000 It is.

00:44:39.000 China.

00:44:40.000 Imagine if they were like, can you name any good American actor?

00:44:43.000 And just some American would be like, Steven Seagal?

00:44:47.000 He run like a girl. 1.00

00:44:50.000 I think that's all I can think of.

00:44:54.000 You don't want to seem racist.

00:44:57.000 I don't know.

00:45:00.000 I don't care.

00:45:00.000 Apparently it's racist now to make fun of the Chinese language just because I don't know how to pronounce it.

00:45:04.000 You can do it with anything.

00:45:05.000 I can do it with Italian.

00:45:08.000 That's not Italian. 0.99

00:45:09.000 But the Italians are just like, ha ha ha, it's funny. 1.00

00:45:13.000 That's how they respond.

00:45:14.000 Really?

00:45:14.000 Yeah, that's exactly how they respond.

00:45:17.000 To a racist.

00:45:18.000 So, Donald Trump's decision to cut U.S.

00:45:23.000 contributions to the WHO, this comes from ABC News, to the World Health Organization, would impact all countries across the globe, especially the more vulnerable ones.

00:45:31.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:45:31.000 You mean like Taiwan?

00:45:32.000 And you mean like a pandemic impacts every country in the world?

00:45:34.000 China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, How about you help the most vulnerable countries in the world?

00:45:46.000 This is a great example right here.

00:45:47.000 They're not saying, hey, the World Health Organization helps the most vulnerable countries in the world.

00:45:52.000 What they're saying is, the World Health Organization entirely relies on the United States subsidization to fund the most vulnerable countries in the world.

00:46:01.000 China, why don't you take care of them? 1.00

00:46:03.000 Any Islamic nations, by the way, pick one ever! 1.00

00:46:06.000 Are they helping the most vulnerable countries in the world?

00:46:08.000 Why does it fall on the United States?

00:46:09.000 Canada!

00:46:10.000 Your own national defense!

00:46:11.000 Go! 0.95

00:46:13.000 We wouldn't even have time to make the Orville Redenbacher before you guys would be speaking fluently in another language.

00:46:18.000 We need to give you healthcare!

00:46:20.000 We need to give you security, we need to overpay into NATO, and then, now, for some reason, we have to pay a propaganda wing of the Chinese government and the World Health Organization, or it's our fault that people have to dig wells in Zambia. 0.95

00:46:34.000 How about you go screw yourself, China? 1.00

00:46:37.000 Just do a little bit. 0.98

00:46:38.000 We just want you to do a... How about you start with your own people, by the way?

00:46:42.000 Why is it the United States... Yeah, it'd be helpful.

00:46:43.000 Why is it our job to help the most vulnerable elsewhere, but we cannot help the Chinese? 1.00

00:46:47.000 Not to mention that you won't even allow us to help the Chinese by being fair and bringing in our goods to China.

00:46:52.000 They don't have access to it.

00:46:53.000 They have to make the goods that get exported, but you can't let them get the quality stuff.

00:46:56.000 You can't let them get the stuff that they want because, of course, you have a class structure, right?

00:47:00.000 You abuse your own people, and you want to call out the United States to fix the world in the most vulnerable... And I get it!

00:47:07.000 This is the expectation because we've always done it, and this is why it's so fun.

00:47:10.000 No one here... You know what they're not saying?

00:47:12.000 You know what this is not saying?

00:47:14.000 What you're not saying is that the United States is an evil empire.

00:47:17.000 We hear that all the time, right?

00:47:18.000 The United States is an empire.

00:47:19.000 When, can you imagine anyone, anyone, can you imagine the Mongolians going like, ah, hey, yeah, China, could you not, could you take down the law? 0.88

00:47:28.000 It's kind of tough for us, but oh, sorry, my bad, my bad.

00:47:31.000 No!

00:47:32.000 No, could you imagine going to the Roman Empire?

00:47:33.000 Someone who's under their thumb.

00:47:35.000 I'm just saying, hey, you know what?

00:47:36.000 You're not doing enough for the people across the globe.

00:47:38.000 I know the Roman Empire and the Greeks and the Ottomans, but I don't exactly know what's happening outside of their empire.

00:47:44.000 I mean, a lot, but not a lot.

00:47:45.000 What are you doing for Ethiopia?

00:47:47.000 That's an old place.

00:47:47.000 There you go.

00:47:49.000 No!

00:47:50.000 You don't say that to an empire.

00:47:51.000 You say, please don't rape us and pillage our stuff.

00:47:54.000 The United States is the only world superpower.

00:47:57.000 By the way, the only world superpower who fled the world's greatest superpower one century to become the only global superpower the next century.

00:48:05.000 And we've left places better than we found them.

00:48:08.000 Now, I know what you're going to say.

00:48:09.000 Hold on a second.

00:48:10.000 What about the Middle East?

00:48:11.000 You're right.

00:48:11.000 It's a quagmire.

00:48:12.000 But that's because the governments there are run by animals.

00:48:16.000 Not all the people, but the government. 0.97

00:48:18.000 That neighborhood was screwed up before we moved in.

00:48:21.000 It was really bad before we got there. 0.75

00:48:22.000 It's not like in Kandahar they saw United States Marines rolling in and said, better go to the neighborhood.

00:48:27.000 Exactly.

00:48:28.000 Property values are going down.

00:48:28.000 You said, hey, finally we might have a neighborhood.

00:48:31.000 Yeah, exactly.

00:48:31.000 This place!

00:48:32.000 Look at this!

00:48:32.000 Bondats!

00:48:33.000 It looks like the Bronx!

00:48:34.000 Oh, and I'm confused.

00:48:35.000 China wants, they want to have all the influence that they can with the WHO.

00:48:39.000 This is your golden opportunity, China. 0.97

00:48:40.000 Step up.

00:48:41.000 They want to have the influence.

00:48:42.000 Spend some money.

00:48:42.000 But they want, this also tells you how much they expect the American media to be complicit.

00:48:47.000 Oh, of course.

00:48:47.000 They want the influence, but they don't want to front the cash.

00:48:49.000 So they're hoping that Jim Acosta reads this or Stephanopoulos gets a hold of it.

00:48:53.000 Let's prepare the show now.

00:48:55.000 Yeah!

00:48:55.000 Yeah, Stephanopoulos!

00:48:57.000 You so good!

00:48:58.000 You're one of the top economies in the world.

00:48:59.000 You pay the $360,000,000 that's the difference between what we pay and what you pay.

00:49:04.000 you think our economy is not no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no

00:49:08.000 american misunderstand our economy is house of card oh it's not real oh it's founded on

00:49:14.000 on years and centuries of human rights abuse and it's not work when you when you when you take away

00:49:19.000 that we can't have free economy to work no no no no house of card you know house of card i do yeah 0.94

00:49:24.000 kevin spacey rape kid yeah pretty much yeah our economy like the guy who raped kid well china 0.55

00:49:29.000 just do me a favor and talk to russia the ussr about this because we did this game before and

00:49:34.000 they end up falling yeah you're gonna fall so um that was improv there's a little one that's good

00:49:40.000 for a little one act yeah a little one act about watergate so furthermore the move

00:49:44.000 weakens the who's capabilities and harms international cooperation

00:49:50.000 Well, okay, this sounds bad.

00:49:51.000 It's like the political compass test we'll be taking tonight.

00:49:53.000 Harms international cooperation.

00:49:55.000 Ah, who are we supposed to be cooperating with?

00:49:59.000 Doesn't that matter?

00:49:59.000 It does.

00:50:00.000 Can you hear Brendan drinking milk with his mask?

00:50:02.000 Is it through the mask?

00:50:03.000 I think he tried to drink it through the cheesecloth mask.

00:50:05.000 I feel like it would just run down his shirt.

00:50:09.000 We should probably find out before the end of the show.

00:50:11.000 At present, the global pandemic situation is grim and is at a critical moment, Zhao told reporters.

00:50:17.000 We urge the U.S.

00:50:17.000 to fulfill its responsibilities and obligations and support them to lead the international combat against the pandemic.

00:50:23.000 Guess what?

00:50:24.000 I don't want to cooperate with you.

00:50:26.000 I want nothing to do with you.

00:50:29.000 Zero.

00:50:30.000 This is amazing to me.

00:50:31.000 It would be like Nancy Pelosi reaching out.

00:50:33.000 You know the same person who was dancing in Chinatown saying, hey, we're Chinatown strong.

00:50:36.000 Come on down to San Francisco, Chinatown. 1.00

00:50:37.000 We're all fine.

00:50:39.000 It's just allergies.

00:50:42.000 It would be like her saying, hey, let's cooperate to Donald Trump.

00:50:45.000 Just cooperate in the impeachment.

00:50:47.000 Why would I ever cooperate with that?

00:50:49.000 I have an idea here.

00:50:50.000 I'm willing for the United States to go ahead and go back to the level of funding for the WHO that they were before.

00:50:55.000 China, you open up completely. 0.87

00:50:57.000 You don't get to tell us what the numbers are in your country.

00:51:00.000 You give us full access.

00:51:01.000 This is like the atomic stuff, the IAEA, right?

00:51:04.000 No, we dropped that on Japan.

00:51:06.000 No, no, no.

00:51:07.000 I didn't see the bombs, Steven.

00:51:10.000 Open the country up for us.

00:51:11.000 Let us see what's really going on.

00:51:13.000 I don't understand, I don't understand why the, well I know exactly why the expectations of the United States.

00:51:16.000 You know what, we'll do the traffic update, we'll do it later because we're actually, I didn't realize how late we're running.

00:51:21.000 Alright, so then we also have to get to Hipster or Hobo.

00:51:24.000 Ooh, that's back!

00:51:25.000 It is, it's back.

00:51:27.000 So now let's get to this other issue.

00:51:30.000 Is there anything else anyone want to chime in on China at all?

00:51:32.000 Oh my god, what's happening on CNN?

00:51:34.000 Taraji P. Henson creates free virtual therapy for black communities.

00:51:38.000 Well that's nice.

00:51:40.000 What virtual, what do you mean virtual therapy?

00:51:42.000 I don't, I, are those eyebrows painted on?

00:51:45.000 I think they might be.

00:51:47.000 They probably are.

00:51:50.000 Isn't it odd that, what's her name, Poppy, what's her name?

00:51:52.000 Poppy Harlow.

00:51:53.000 Poppy Harlow has to pretend like she's taking this whole thing seriously. 0.95

00:51:56.000 That's a real person.

00:51:59.000 That's a real person.

00:52:00.000 I thought that was a PewDiePie character.

00:52:01.000 I first misread Henson character.

00:52:03.000 It's Tarahi P. Henson.

00:52:06.000 I thought it was something that came out of the creature shop.

00:52:10.000 Not a racial thing, just to be clear.

00:52:12.000 She happens to be, uh, your guess is as good as mine.

00:52:16.000 I mean because of the hair and the eyebrows.

00:52:18.000 If we had a protractor, I'm sure we could tell where those eyebrows were headed.

00:52:24.000 If you look at the art, go off into the horizon line there.

00:52:27.000 Your makeup artist shouldn't have to factor in trigonometry equations to make sure.

00:52:32.000 I don't know, the cosine, the tangent, I'm just, words.

00:52:35.000 She's a genius though.

00:52:36.000 I'm just using words.

00:52:38.000 Can you do trigonometry Brendan?

00:52:43.000 I bet you he can.

00:52:44.000 I bet you Brendan probably can.

00:52:44.000 Why'd you have to think about that, by the way?

00:52:46.000 You don't need to think about it.

00:52:47.000 It's not a trick question.

00:52:48.000 He didn't say, like, what's 5 plus 5, and you're like, uh, 10.

00:52:52.000 He's like, do trig right now.

00:52:53.000 Yeah, I'm not asking him to do trigonometry.

00:52:55.000 Remember how expensive those graphic calculators were, too?

00:52:56.000 I know, the TI-85.

00:52:58.000 It's an expensive way to spell boobs! 1.00

00:53:01.000 You didn't upgrade your jokes with the new calculator that you can graft them out? 0.95

00:53:05.000 You could have grafted boobs. 1.00

00:53:06.000 A good joke is a good joke. 0.98

00:53:07.000 Oh, hey, you know what?

00:53:09.000 I do have a story that's happened today.

00:53:11.000 Oh my gosh.

00:53:12.000 You know, I'm up somewhere between 3.30 and 4.30.

00:53:15.000 And not because you told me to, Jocko.

00:53:17.000 Are you getting after him?

00:53:19.000 I make my own decisions.

00:53:20.000 You're not the boss of me.

00:53:22.000 So, I was up very early and I drive.

00:53:25.000 I just go for a drive and I drink my coffee in the morning.

00:53:27.000 It's kind of my routine.

00:53:27.000 I listen to the news.

00:53:29.000 I have to be very careful because I listen to usually NPR.

00:53:31.000 Right.

00:53:32.000 Does it make you mad?

00:53:33.000 No, I fall asleep at the wheel.

00:53:34.000 Really?

00:53:34.000 Yeah, I've had to change it with other news.

00:53:36.000 Maybe sleep more?

00:53:38.000 No, no, it's just NPR.

00:53:39.000 It's all illegal.

00:53:40.000 They are federally funded to be boring.

00:53:43.000 Oh, okay.

00:53:43.000 So I was driving and then I stopped it and I hate this.

00:53:46.000 To my everlasting shame, quick trip.

00:53:48.000 Come on, you have Chuck Norris doing your... Sponsor this show!

00:53:51.000 I am the biggest advocate for QuickTrip.

00:53:52.000 Why?

00:53:53.000 Because I grew up in Montreal, where we didn't have anything like that.

00:53:56.000 I remember my wife used to mock me because I just loved QuickTrips.

00:53:58.000 I'd be like, look at this gas station!

00:54:00.000 You can get anything in here!

00:54:03.000 You could even get gas!

00:54:04.000 And she's like, why is this so amazing?

00:54:08.000 I'm like, because... Well, that's a fact.

00:54:12.000 Montreal is an island, and that's very astute.

00:54:14.000 So, the St.

00:54:15.000 Lawrence River, I'm sure you're familiar with the waterways and the locks.

00:54:18.000 Okay.

00:54:21.000 Zero parts of him.

00:54:22.000 The only familiarity I have with Canada is like Scott Pilgrim.

00:54:27.000 So that last part, don't say that out loud.

00:54:29.000 Cartoons, yeah.

00:54:30.000 Yeah, cartoons.

00:54:32.000 Just poorly made films.

00:54:33.000 Well, it's not a cartoon.

00:54:34.000 So what was I talking about before?

00:54:35.000 Oh, so I stopped, but unfortunately this morning there was only a racetrack.

00:54:38.000 Oh no.

00:54:38.000 I needed to stop because I had a problem with my mug was leaking and stuff

00:54:42.000 So so what I was doing was wanting to carry out any trash at racetrack again

00:54:47.000 Racetrack not even close to QuickTrip if I have to stop and go into a 7-eleven

00:54:51.000 I honestly contemplate blowing my head off every single time. It is so bad. Yeah. Yeah, I mean it's

00:54:57.000 No, it's terrible.

00:54:58.000 It's terrible.

00:54:58.000 And like I said, I won't do it with a Walther.

00:55:00.000 I will make sure if I ever harm myself, I'll do it with a competitor's firearm because I don't want to besmirch their reputation.

00:55:06.000 I don't want to sully their good name.

00:55:07.000 So maybe it'll be like if I have to go into a 7-Eleven ever again, I hope there's a Ruger nearby.

00:55:13.000 That's all I hope.

00:55:14.000 There you go.

00:55:15.000 So I go into a racetrack and my wife left one of those fizzy waters there, coconut, which tastes like suntan lotion.

00:55:22.000 It tastes like I'm drinking the subject of a Jimmy Buffett song.

00:55:28.000 Coconut LaCroix. 0.87

00:55:29.000 It's disgusting. 0.81

00:55:30.000 Or what's his name? 0.90

00:55:32.000 Kenny Chesney. 0.99

00:55:34.000 Except the latter is closeted gay. 0.97

00:55:37.000 Which got me into a street fight, by the way. 0.86

00:55:40.000 You know that story, because I kept making fun of Kenny Chesney.

00:55:42.000 You don't talk about Kenny like that!

00:55:45.000 Oh, he's your Kenneth.

00:55:47.000 You're on a first-name basis.

00:55:48.000 I digress.

00:55:49.000 So, coconut fizzy water.

00:55:51.000 I'm carrying this stuff into the trash, but accidentally, you know, and some of it spills.

00:55:54.000 Yeah.

00:55:55.000 On the crotchal area.

00:55:57.000 Oh.

00:55:58.000 And this happens, and I'm always, like, I don't want to, since I often get recognized, particularly at gas stations, people feel like there's this weird connection, so they can just talk, like, for 20 minutes.

00:56:06.000 You're just like me!

00:56:07.000 Right, it's like, I'm not, I don't know you, and I probably don't even like you.

00:56:11.000 Well, you might.

00:56:12.000 It's possible.

00:56:12.000 You never know.

00:56:13.000 Well, because often they're not people who, like, are watching right now.

00:56:15.000 They're, like, people who've seen me on television or something.

00:56:17.000 And they'll, like, hand me their business card.

00:56:20.000 They'll be like, hey man, I do insulation for premium homes.

00:56:24.000 Well, I don't have a premium home and I don't use insulation.

00:56:27.000 Cool.

00:56:28.000 I mean, you don't need any more.

00:56:28.000 Thanks!

00:56:29.000 And then I go get my big gulp.

00:56:31.000 I accidentally pull it, and as I'm getting out of the car, I notice that it looks like a crotchal, like a piece, like I've urinated myself.

00:56:37.000 And I walk out, and there's this girl who's Latino. 0.97

00:56:39.000 I don't know if she's Mexican. 1.00

00:56:40.000 Could be Honduran.

00:56:41.000 I don't know.

00:56:42.000 We'll just say Latino. 0.84

00:56:42.000 Don't assume. 0.84

00:56:43.000 Olive skin tone.

00:56:45.000 And she looks at me, and she looks at me like this.

00:56:46.000 She looks, and she goes, because the door opened up, and I was playing NPR very loudly, because that's what has to keep me awake.

00:56:53.000 She opened the door, and she looks at me like this, and does that.

00:57:00.000 And so right away, without thinking, I actually, like, I acted, like, because I wanted her, I thought, she's only seen it for a split second, so she doesn't know what's happening here.

00:57:09.000 She doesn't know the context.

00:57:09.000 She didn't think this was happening right now, so I actually went like, and dropped more on myself.

00:57:16.000 What?

00:57:16.000 So it didn't look like I had peed myself.

00:57:18.000 So she looks, she goes, Looks down, and with quick thinking, I'm like, oh, she's gonna think it's pee unless I go, oh, oh, oh, no!

00:57:24.000 So now it just looks like you peed yourself, and now you're trying to cover it up.

00:57:27.000 Yeah, exactly, thank you.

00:57:28.000 No, no, it's not what it looks like.

00:57:29.000 She bought it.

00:57:30.000 She bought it.

00:57:31.000 Yeah, because I said, donde esta bathroom? 0.78

00:57:31.000 She did. 0.78

00:57:31.000 She bought it? 0.78

00:57:34.000 And she was like, over there.

00:57:36.000 So she knew that I needed to use it.

00:57:38.000 Otherwise, she'd be like, why do you care?

00:57:39.000 So maybe you have more pee that you were able to cut it off. 0.98

00:57:42.000 And then I went in and someone's like, ah, it looks like it was a black lady. 0.97

00:57:46.000 All my interactions happen to be with minorities.

00:57:48.000 It's a black lady at a racetrack behind the custom food section, goes like, somebody had an accident! 1.00

00:57:56.000 I'm kidding, it looks like you dropped it. 0.60

00:57:59.000 So that was it.

00:58:00.000 Was Johnny Boy there?

00:58:00.000 Because he would have loved that.

00:58:01.000 No he wasn't.

00:58:02.000 That would have made his morning.

00:58:03.000 This may seem like going backward, but Kenny Chesney is actually short for Kenneth Chesneth.

00:58:07.000 Really?

00:58:08.000 Chesneth.

00:58:09.000 Yeah, I changed that name too.

00:58:11.000 Yeah, and that's short for Peter Puffer.

00:58:14.000 By the way, how much time do you actually spend in gas stations?

00:58:18.000 Because most of us go in and out very quickly.

00:58:19.000 As much as I possibly can.

00:58:20.000 Is this your story where you walk the aisles and hang out?

00:58:23.000 Just loiter around.

00:58:24.000 What's going on?

00:58:25.000 I look and see what new energy drink selection.

00:58:28.000 They rotate new energy drinks more so than the magazine stand.

00:58:31.000 You're like, what's this?

00:58:32.000 Oh, bang. 0.91

00:58:33.000 Oh, Celsius.

00:58:33.000 This is new.

00:58:34.000 Oh, wow, this is a new one.

00:58:35.000 And then you realize that the reason that a lot of them are sort of rotating is because they're entirely illegal.

00:58:42.000 Very dangerous.

00:58:43.000 There's nothing wrong with just the caffeine, guarana, ginseng.

00:58:47.000 But my dad, the first pre-workout was something called Ultimate Orange.

00:58:51.000 And that was ephedra.

00:58:54.000 That's super close to ephedra.

00:58:55.000 So ephedra is illegal now, but ephedrine you can get in certain over-the-counter decongestants.

00:59:00.000 Right. 0.78

00:59:00.000 And I remember my dad taking this, because some idiot at the gym, you know, my dad played hockey, he always worked out, he's always been in shape, but he didn't even drink coffee. 0.78

00:59:06.000 Someone just said, hey, take this Ultimate Orange. 0.98

00:59:08.000 It'll help you work out.

00:59:09.000 My dad said, that sounds like a good idea.

00:59:11.000 And he took it, and I remember my dad going, okay, bye, see ya, I'm going to the gym.

00:59:14.000 It was called Plant Up Muscle.

00:59:15.000 It was early in the morning.

00:59:16.000 And he walks out, and less than one minute later, he walks back in and just lays down.

00:59:21.000 Okay.

00:59:22.000 Okay.

00:59:24.000 Alright, we may need to call a doctor.

00:59:26.000 Just like he thought his heart was going to beat out of his chest.

00:59:29.000 Oh, wow.

00:59:30.000 So that happens with energy drinks.

00:59:31.000 Anyway, but I peed.

00:59:32.000 I didn't pee, I didn't pee!

00:59:33.000 You did!

00:59:34.000 I was like, oh, I'm sorry, I peed and I fixed it.

00:59:36.000 And I realized telling this story, it was very Gary Shanling-esque.

00:59:40.000 And so she thought I peed my pants and instead I poured the Waterloo all over my chest.

00:59:48.000 It was cold and...

00:59:51.000 That's my Gary Shandling.

00:59:52.000 I was sitting there listening to Gary Shandling afterwards to see if he had a story.

00:59:54.000 You don't know because you don't follow entertainment.

00:59:56.000 No, I understand.

00:59:57.000 Oh, that's right.

00:59:58.000 That's right.

00:59:58.000 Transformers 4.

01:00:00.000 Is there another one?

01:00:01.000 I don't think he's in the fourth one.

01:00:03.000 What is this?

01:00:03.000 So let me see here.

01:00:04.000 Oh! 0.60

01:00:04.000 Chris Cuomo! 0.60

01:00:05.000 Okay.

01:00:05.000 Let's go to Chris Cuomo, then we'll play Hipster or Hobo.

01:00:06.000 I had no idea we walked through 45 minutes of this, and John King is on here with us.

01:00:09.000 This is what happens.

01:00:10.000 John King and Sanjay Gupta.

01:00:13.000 Or, as it's known, a viewable, self-unhelped book.

01:00:17.000 It's like, if there could be a book teaching you how to develop the opposite of charm, it would be co-written.

01:00:23.000 It would be written by John King, forwarded by Sanjay Gupta.

01:00:26.000 I can't tell which one.

01:00:28.000 I can't tell which one's darker.

01:00:29.000 I just hit my own microphone.

01:00:30.000 Did you just get into a fight with your microphone?

01:00:34.000 Is your microphone a Sanjay Gupta fan?

01:00:37.000 Hey, don't talk about my friend!

01:00:39.000 You don't know what this thing's done to me.

01:00:42.000 Oh boy.

01:00:43.000 Maybe you started it.

01:00:44.000 But it was funny!

01:00:45.000 It wasn't that funny.

01:00:48.000 Someone get me Bill!

01:00:53.000 So, here's another story.

01:00:55.000 Chris Cuomo, and I love this.

01:00:57.000 Because I love Chris Cuomo.

01:00:58.000 But not for the reasons that most don't.

01:01:01.000 Um, Chris Cuomo, uh, he, this week, if you hadn't been following, uh, he trashed his, he trashed his job, but not the way that you think, saying that he didn't want to be involved with hyper-partisan politics anymore.

01:01:12.000 He didn't like, well, play the audio clip, but the context here is he actually thinks that CNN is not left enough.

01:01:19.000 So that changes it a little bit, especially with the follow-up.

01:01:22.000 Let's roll the clip of good old Chris Cuomo.

01:01:24.000 I don't want to spend my time doing things that I don't think are valuable enough to me.

01:01:33.000 Valuable.

01:01:34.000 Namely being Chris Cuomo.

01:01:35.000 Well, I don't like what I do.

01:01:40.000 Well, neither do we, Chris.

01:01:41.000 I like doing this show, I like talking to you guys, but I don't value indulging irrationality

01:01:51.000 and hyper-partisanship.

01:01:57.000 I don't think it's worth my time. 1.00

01:01:59.000 And I don't want some jackass, loser, fat tire biker to be able to pull over and get in my face and in my space and talk bullsh** to me. 1.00

01:02:11.000 And in my place. 1.00

01:02:13.000 I don't want to hear it.

01:02:14.000 Somewhere there's a Hell's Angel like, Joke's on you!

01:02:15.000 My tire's standard! 1.00

01:02:19.000 I drive a street bob, bitch! 1.00

01:02:22.000 So, um, here's what's so funny. 1.00

01:02:24.000 You guys all heard that, right?

01:02:25.000 And I want to make sure, I know sometimes we tell jokes on a comedy show and someone's like, is that a real story?

01:02:30.000 That was Chris Cuomo.

01:02:31.000 That was not anyone here's 100% him.

01:02:33.000 I want to be very clear.

01:02:34.000 Is everyone in agreement that that was Chris Cuomo and you heard him say it?

01:02:37.000 Certified.

01:02:38.000 Even Brendan?

01:02:39.000 Uh, yes.

01:02:40.000 Speak louder, I can't hear you through the mask.

01:02:41.000 Yes.

01:02:41.000 Woah, calm down!

01:02:42.000 Woah, don't yell!

01:02:43.000 You're gonna blow my ears, man. 1.00

01:02:44.000 Son of a bitch. 1.00

01:02:46.000 So, then, I think this was yesterday, he walked it back. 1.00

01:02:48.000 This is a direct quote.

01:02:50.000 It says, I never said it, I never meant it.

01:02:52.000 Well, first off, if you never said it, why would you need to specify I didn't mean it?

01:02:56.000 In the event that I might have said it, I also did not mean it.

01:03:01.000 So I have you cornered here.

01:03:03.000 I didn't say it!

01:03:04.000 Covering all the bases, just in case.

01:03:06.000 Do you understand how recording systems work, Chris Cuomo?

01:03:10.000 Like, did you not see Trump's press conference?

01:03:14.000 I was sick, I forgot.

01:03:15.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:03:16.000 Have I showed you my lungs yet?

01:03:17.000 My x-ray?

01:03:18.000 My x-ray.

01:03:19.000 It looks totally normal? 1.00

01:03:20.000 The diagnosis from doctor was, shows signs of being a pussy. 1.00

01:03:25.000 It's weird how they came up with that diagnosis so fast. 0.99

01:03:28.000 It is remarkable to me that this guy said that right there, and then just said, I never said it, I never meant it.

01:03:35.000 This just shows you the lack of accountability.

01:03:37.000 He thinks that if he doesn't say it on CNN, it must not exist.

01:03:39.000 Well, I said it on some kind of a podcast, and I can just go on my network and say that I didn't say it.

01:03:43.000 I think he was being honest, though.

01:03:45.000 I think this is a guy who really wants to be a hyper-partisan.

01:03:47.000 He doesn't think that CNN is a hyper-partisan enough, because he's never seen a Laura Kyron's, because he doesn't have a monitor, so he thinks that he has.

01:03:53.000 That's a valuable context.

01:03:56.000 And what he was saying is he wants to push back against Donald Trump.

01:03:59.000 He wants to be more of an open leftist ideologue.

01:04:02.000 And it's not worth his time.

01:04:03.000 They don't pay him enough.

01:04:04.000 But I think I know why he walked it back.

01:04:06.000 Because this talentless hack actually makes six million dollars a year. 0.63

01:04:10.000 What?

01:04:11.000 For CNN.

01:04:12.000 Six million dollars a year.

01:04:12.000 Six million?

01:04:14.000 Just for him?

01:04:15.000 He should just give a portion of it to the World Health Organization.

01:04:17.000 I think it's a write-off.

01:04:20.000 Wow!

01:04:20.000 By the way, I don't know if that's entirely confirmed, because they have my, like, black celebrity net worth.

01:04:25.000 For some reason, black celebrity net worth, we can bring this up, maybe, has me listed at four million.

01:04:29.000 Really? 0.92

01:04:30.000 Are you a black celebrity? 0.84

01:04:31.000 No, I don't know why, but it says I own waterfront property in Dallas, Texas. 0.90

01:04:37.000 Well, that's not true.

01:04:38.000 Well, it's not true for anyone!

01:04:40.000 It's not just fake news for me, it's not true for anyone.

01:04:42.000 It could be a lake, I guess.

01:04:43.000 Oh, by the way, by the way, the random biker guy he rants about, I guess it was an actual person, he ranted about, came forward, filed a police report, he caught Cuomo, this just came, this is breaking, he caught Cuomo violating quarantine and Cuomo had a meltdown and told him that he'd fined him.

01:04:59.000 Seriously?

01:05:00.000 He's right there.

01:05:01.000 Well, here's the thing.

01:05:02.000 You hate bullies.

01:05:02.000 Here's the thing.

01:05:03.000 Chris Cuomo, I think you're a bully. 0.98

01:05:04.000 A bicycle guy! 0.99

01:05:06.000 Not a biker guy. 1.00

01:05:07.000 Well, the reason I thought biker is because he said fat tire biker.

01:05:10.000 That's the name of a motorcycle. 0.82

01:05:12.000 No, you're right, but he's dumber than we thought, and so he's talking about a cyclist who had one of those big fat tire bikes.

01:05:18.000 No, I will tell you, I've never done this. 0.93

01:05:20.000 I don't think violence solves problems.

01:05:21.000 Chris Cuomo, I always want to say governor, but you haven't earned that. 0.92

01:05:25.000 You're the brother of a guy who did it and has nipple rings, so we don't know what you do. 0.98

01:05:29.000 Yeah, we'll see. 0.58

01:05:30.000 I would welcome you on the show, and I know I would be respectful, civil, but I don't expect you would be, so we can also just have, you know, a Wrestlemania for all I want.

01:05:37.000 We can have a cage match. 0.95

01:05:38.000 I don't care.

01:05:39.000 And I also, you know, I've noticed that there's this trend with Chris Cuomo, where he always plays the tough guy.

01:05:44.000 You know, when the guy called him Fredo, he was like, That's an insult to your people!

01:05:47.000 That's an insult to your people!

01:05:49.000 It's an insult to my people!

01:05:50.000 No, first off, no it's not.

01:05:51.000 I'll push you down the stairs! 1.00

01:05:52.000 It's not a racial epithet.

01:05:53.000 Yeah, he threatened to push him down the stairs.

01:05:55.000 And right here he told the biker that he would find him.

01:05:57.000 Chris Cuomo, I understand what you're yearning for.

01:05:59.000 All of us are yearning.

01:06:01.000 All of us are longing for human contact during this quarantine.

01:06:03.000 The good news for you, Cuomo, is I am incredibly easy to find.

01:06:07.000 And very willing.

01:06:08.000 Very willing.

01:06:09.000 On one day's notice, not only will I host you on this show, but I would gladly allow you to find me in a sanctioned match.

01:06:16.000 He always talks about his training, too, by the way.

01:06:18.000 There's an interview here where he's talking about how he does CrossFit and how he trains MMA, but where he trains MMA is more like street defense, like it's really tough.

01:06:27.000 I would love to test the theory!

01:06:29.000 Let's see if it's working for you.

01:06:31.000 And then he tries to accuse people of being bullies.

01:06:33.000 Hold on a second.

01:06:34.000 You get paid six million dollars a year to go on CNN and a guy catches you violating quarantine, which by the way you have espoused should be against the law.

01:06:45.000 He blows the whistle on you and you threaten him with violence on a nationally publicized program, which you then walk back? 0.96

01:06:52.000 You are the definition of a bully! 0.94

01:06:54.000 You punch down and then walk it back when someone above you at your network punches, not really punches down, but spanks you and says, NO! 0.99

01:07:00.000 No, Chris Cuomo!

01:07:01.000 Don't be on the carpet!

01:07:02.000 You're like, I'll never do it again!

01:07:04.000 As he's shoving your head into it.

01:07:05.000 So you punch someone who doesn't even work in the industry, and then you immediately cower when someone at CNN tells you, you can't do that.

01:07:05.000 I feel so bad.

01:07:11.000 That's way out of line.

01:07:12.000 So I would love to hold you accountable, Chris Cuomo.

01:07:15.000 I wouldn't do it with Brian Stelter.

01:07:16.000 It wouldn't be fair, and there's a reason for weight classes.

01:07:18.000 Chris Cuomo and I, exactly right in there.

01:07:20.000 He claims he's 220.

01:07:22.000 Work for a debate, or work for a... Bully me!

01:07:25.000 Bully me!

01:07:26.000 Just bully me, Chris Cuomo.

01:07:27.000 Bring it! 0.98

01:07:28.000 So I was confused.

01:07:29.000 Honestly, when I first heard the quotes and everything and I saw some of the stuff come

01:07:33.000 out, I thought, oh, well, he's not going to go as far left anymore.

01:07:37.000 He's tired of being a partisan hack.

01:07:40.000 But no, he wants to go further left.

01:07:44.000 If you've watched any media, if you're working at CNN or MSNBC, do you not watch the other

01:07:49.000 people to kind of see what's going on a little bit?

01:07:51.000 There is nothing that I can think of that is worse than him on CNN.

01:07:55.000 Maybe Stelter is worse on CNN than he is, and maybe Tapper at times, but maybe Stelter is worse. 0.99

01:08:02.000 Stelter is the fat closeted gay Chris Cuomo. 0.99

01:08:06.000 You can say a lot of things about Chris Cuomo, but the only two things you can't say about him are that he's morbidly obese and closeted homosexual. 0.99

01:08:15.000 But you can say those about Brian Stelter, which is why I wouldn't want to fight him. 0.92

01:08:19.000 Wouldn't be fair.

01:08:19.000 That would be punching down.

01:08:20.000 Yeah, you don't want to do that.

01:08:22.000 Yeah, it would be punching down and punching in and then trying to retrieve it from the amoebic mass that is Brian Stelter's just... I bet you it would be very hard to suplex.

01:08:32.000 Because he'd be like grabbing a giant bar of soil.

01:08:32.000 He would.

01:08:35.000 Like the blob?

01:08:36.000 I hope he goes as far left as he wants and ends up without a job.

01:08:39.000 I don't hope he ends up without a job.

01:08:40.000 I do.

01:08:41.000 If he goes that far left, I don't want him on the news.

01:08:44.000 I would like Chris Cuomo to just take a pay cut to like a quarter million a year and watch him soil himself.

01:08:50.000 That's what it would be like.

01:08:52.000 Live like not even the rest of us.

01:08:53.000 You can't live on that.

01:08:55.000 Come on, nobody can live on that.

01:08:56.000 You're too busy threatening bikers and guys in pop-up tents.

01:08:59.000 It looked like a circus.

01:08:59.000 What was it?

01:09:00.000 It was like, I'll throw you down the stairs, man.

01:09:01.000 OK, good luck.

01:09:02.000 That's a tough guy move.

01:09:03.000 You think everyone's just going to react like it's a Lifetime movie?

01:09:05.000 Oh no, I should have picked more wisely with my life partner.

01:09:08.000 No.

01:09:09.000 You can try and push someone.

01:09:11.000 Have we ever seen Chris Cuomo?

01:09:11.000 He never does it.

01:09:13.000 We've seen plenty of video.

01:09:15.000 We've heard plenty of callouts from Chris Cuomo from people who could do nothing about it or have no interest in doing anything about it.

01:09:21.000 Have we ever seen Chris Cuomo respond to someone challenging him or challenge someone scarier than him?

01:09:26.000 We've never seen it.

01:09:28.000 Ever.

01:09:29.000 He got really, really, really pushy in that video, by the way, when somebody finally stood between them.

01:09:33.000 Then he was, like, all aggressive, like, yeah, yeah, that's right!

01:09:36.000 Hold me back, that's right!

01:09:37.000 Better hold me back! 0.99

01:09:38.000 I've been doing CrossFit, bruh!

01:09:40.000 I've been doing those pull-up thingies where you, like, swing to get the momentum.

01:09:43.000 I've been doing not-pull-up pull-ups.

01:09:45.000 I've been doing pull-ups where I completely remove the lat from the equation, and it's just a violent kipping movement, and my lower back's pretty sore, but I ice bath it. 0.99

01:09:54.000 Uncle Rabdo, bitch! 1.00

01:09:56.000 Uncle Rhett's really good at swimming in, like, the dolphin motion. 1.00

01:10:00.000 Yes, exactly.

01:10:01.000 I don't—no, no, no.

01:10:01.000 That's true.

01:10:02.000 I don't do breaststroke or—I only do butterfly stroke.

01:10:05.000 Because it's hard.

01:10:05.000 Why?

01:10:06.000 But do you know how to swim normally?

01:10:07.000 No.

01:10:07.000 I don't even—I've never learned it.

01:10:08.000 I'll die in the ocean if I get there.

01:10:10.000 I do Jacob's Ladder, bro.

01:10:12.000 It's, like, a really hard ladder.

01:10:12.000 What's that?

01:10:14.000 Come at me. 0.99

01:10:15.000 Okay, if you insist.

01:10:18.000 By the way, hit the notification bell.

01:10:19.000 We'll go to Hipster Hobo here in a minute, read some of your chats.

01:10:19.000 We do have to get going.

01:10:22.000 Hit all notifications because subscriptions don't mean a whole lot on YouTube.

01:10:25.000 And of course, do consider joining up at louderwithcrowder.com slash MugClub.

01:10:29.000 And please renew because we're not monetized on the YouTube.

01:10:32.000 This is all that keeps it going.

01:10:33.000 And it's been really fun to interact with you guys and read your chats.

01:10:36.000 Of course, our wonderful sponsors.

01:10:37.000 Well, you know, Walther.

01:10:38.000 Try the Walther.

01:10:39.000 That's all we say.

01:10:40.000 And that's all we need to say.

01:10:41.000 That's all you gotta say.

01:10:43.000 They're firearms.

01:10:44.000 They are cool, beautifully designed, and deadly.

01:10:47.000 They don't need me to sell them!

01:10:49.000 They sell themselves!

01:10:50.000 they're like cigarettes point point and shoot much like this guy on cnn right

01:10:54.000 yes the sun says save $200 with that was it the pergola yeah the sunsetter

01:10:58.000 awnings steven well designed dangerous that rachel ray it mostly doesn't

01:11:03.000 provide shade because sun typically comes in at an angle so what depends if

01:11:08.000 Of course, a Black Rifle Coffee.

01:11:09.000 BlackRifleCoffee.com slash Crowder.

01:11:11.000 Enter the promo code Crowder.

01:11:12.000 You get $20 off, and this is my favorite roast.

01:11:15.000 It is unbelievable.

01:11:16.000 I really like it, and I've told you this.

01:11:17.000 A long time ago, I hated Black Rifle Coffee.

01:11:20.000 And the reason why, they came to be a sponsor a year ago and I said no.

01:11:23.000 Because I purchased a bag of their coffee at a gun store in Michigan.

01:11:28.000 And it was old and stale. 0.99

01:11:29.000 And so I was like, ugh, this is like, all this, like I paid for crap. 0.99

01:11:32.000 And then finally someone said, well, just, you need to order it roasted. 0.98

01:11:35.000 And I was like, oh, what a world of difference.

01:11:38.000 And they're pretty stringent now about who can carry their stuff.

01:11:40.000 So I apologize, Black Rifle.

01:11:42.000 I just, you know, I prejudged you.

01:11:44.000 I judged a book by your sold in the B room of a gun range cover.

01:11:51.000 I should have known that it wasn't a paracetamol.

01:11:54.000 It was right next to the 9mm.

01:11:57.000 I was like, yeah, you know what, throw in a bag of coffee.

01:12:00.000 Might as well.

01:12:03.000 Look at this thing!

01:12:04.000 Look at the commercial!

01:12:05.000 Yeah, it's gone on forever.

01:12:06.000 Look at it!

01:12:07.000 Do we have any more chat before we go to Hipster or Hobo?

01:12:09.000 Let's bring up a couple more chats, and then we're going to play Hipster or Hobo.

01:12:09.000 We do.

01:12:12.000 I want you to play along with us.

01:12:13.000 We haven't done this in a whole long time, and that's largely because we had to remove all Spot the Tranny videos from YouTube.

01:12:20.000 That was one of the conditions to still not being monetized anyway, so I don't know why we did it.

01:12:25.000 Yeah, so what?

01:12:26.000 A condition to what?

01:12:27.000 So Braden says, hello from Nashville, love the show.

01:12:29.000 Question for the whole group.

01:12:31.000 I've noticed conservatives slash libertarians seem to have a more finely tuned BS radar than Democrats when it comes to news stories and life in general.

01:12:39.000 We are more skeptical by nature.

01:12:40.000 Why do you think that is?

01:12:42.000 I think it's really simple and I think the World Health Organization, and I appreciate your question.

01:12:45.000 I think this whole World Health Organization debacle just shows it for what it is, in that the left believes in the value of the collective over the individual.

01:12:52.000 And any kind of an ideology that values the power and freedom, liberty of the individual over the collective is, by the very nature, going to be individualistic.

01:13:02.000 And this is why it's so funny to me when people say, oh, I'm not left or right, I take them on an issue-by-issue basis, like there's some kind of a free thing.

01:13:09.000 But that's what conservatism is.

01:13:10.000 It is actually being an individualist and understanding that every single person is different.

01:13:15.000 Now, we tend to share the same values, of course, on free market principles, on what the legitimate role of government is, but the reason that we believe in shrinking those roles and shrinking taxes and shrinking government intrusion, any kind of public intrusion, is because we understand that individuals should be left to make their own decisions because we believe that they tend to do it better than a bureaucracy in Washington, D.C.

01:13:36.000 Now, keep in mind, let's look at this right now.

01:13:38.000 Climate change.

01:13:39.000 Now, the message you've been sold, right, between right and left, is from the left, from people like Chris Cuomo, who, granted, he hasn't been hyper-partisan enough, apparently.

01:13:48.000 Can somebody please throw that man a lifeline?

01:13:50.000 Good God.

01:13:51.000 Let him be more partisan.

01:13:52.000 They say, well, you deny science, when really the conservatives are saying, hey, hold on a second.

01:13:56.000 The planet can be warming, humans can be contributing, I just don't think that the Paris Agreement is going to fix it, and I don't think that China's going to play ball. 0.91

01:14:03.000 So, that's an individual look at the issues.

01:14:05.000 You have plenty of conservatives who Yeah.

01:14:07.000 Yeah.

01:14:07.000 actually think that maybe it will support that policy. You have plenty of

01:14:09.000 conservatives who don't think the earth is warm to be on a catastrophic amount

01:14:12.000 and you have plenty of conservatives who think that humans are... all different

01:14:15.000 kinds of conservatives on that spectrum. The left, what do they say is you deny

01:14:18.000 science. And you say, well, hold on a second, what do you think about the arguments I presented?

01:14:21.000 I'm gonna trust the scientists. Oh, okay, so let's look at the World Health

01:14:25.000 Organization. Let's look at this current...

01:14:27.000 SARS number 2 epidemic because it was SARS number 1. This is the sequel. We say, hold

01:14:32.000 on a second, I'm not quite sure if we're going to get 2.5 million deaths because I'm looking

01:14:35.000 at the death rate right now and you can't really account for this with the mortality

01:14:37.000 rate and the testing rate and we don't really know who's been infected yet. And the left

01:14:39.000 says it's absolutely going to be 2.5. Well, hold on a second, what about the issues that

01:14:42.000 I just brought up? I trust the scientists. They say 2.5. Oh, beep, beep, beep. Now they're

01:14:48.000 saying 100,000, 240,000. I trust the scientists. Why? You trusted them before. They're still

01:14:52.000 absolutely right. Well, I'm telling you now I think there's actually a problem because

01:14:55.000 if you look at the individual death rates and it was mortality rate of 6%, 7%, now it

01:14:58.000 might be 0.04% when you take into account people without preexisting conditions and

01:15:03.000 beep, beep, beep.

01:15:04.000 Oh, it's $60,000 now.

01:15:05.000 So what about that $2.5 million?

01:15:07.000 I still trust the scientists.

01:15:09.000 Why do you hate science?

01:15:10.000 They look at every issue from a collective lens, and they defer to authority consistently because they believe authority has it right.

01:15:17.000 That's why in this pandemic, they believe if the CDC had more money, we'd be aces.

01:15:21.000 So it's very simple.

01:15:23.000 It boils down to conservatism, libertarianism, we value—I'm doing, see, my left, your right.

01:15:30.000 That was a good job.

01:15:32.000 I know the stage terms here.

01:15:36.000 See right here?

01:15:37.000 Upstage.

01:15:38.000 Right there?

01:15:39.000 Downstage.

01:15:40.000 And through!

01:15:42.000 You're now forgetting which one's right and left.

01:15:45.000 My left, your right.

01:15:46.000 Libertarians, conservatives, by nature, value the power and freedom of the individual.

01:15:51.000 Of course, it takes a village.

01:15:53.000 That's Hillary Clinton's book. 1.00

01:15:55.000 I don't think it takes a village.

01:15:56.000 I think it takes good parents.

01:15:59.000 Yeah, and one of the things that we don't subscribe to as conservatives is there is some kind of elite class of people who know far, far, far better than anybody else what is good for us and how to implement it, right?

01:16:10.000 We understand that, and if anything, we've learned this from small businesses around the country and in technology, that there are plenty of people that can be experts in their field that have great things to contribute.

01:16:18.000 We don't need it to be the top person.

01:16:20.000 We can talk to a lot of great people.

01:16:22.000 Well, they always think that it's some ruling class who's going to fix it, provided it's the right person.

01:16:25.000 I will say this, and I really do respect Joe Rogan for having taken his licks here, saying he would... He didn't say he would vote for Trump, by the way.

01:16:31.000 That's a misreporting of what Joe Rogan said.

01:16:33.000 He said he would probably prefer Trump over Biden.

01:16:35.000 But you know what?

01:16:36.000 This is the idea that you see from the left, like, well, it needs to be the right person. 0.99

01:16:39.000 And his primary gripe with Biden, he said, you know, the Democratic Party, they made us all out to be morons when they pick this guy. 0.99

01:16:47.000 Why didn't Bernie make you out to be morons when you picked that guy? 0.99

01:16:51.000 That guy's going to smooth over all the wrinkles that are wrong with the current Democratic Party and say, ah, Biden is the problem. 0.99

01:16:58.000 If you had Bernie? 1.00

01:16:59.000 Point to a candidate that didn't make him morons. 0.99

01:17:01.000 I'm not saying, by the way, I don't say we'd be fine if it was Trump. 0.98

01:17:05.000 No, I'm saying I'm actually grateful that we have a president who wants to give more power to the states, who wants to give people more money in their pocket rather than taking their taxes.

01:17:12.000 I want the guy who doesn't really need or want the job.

01:17:15.000 And Joe Biden desperately needs this job.

01:17:18.000 Because the other stop, it's the old folks home. 1.00

01:17:20.000 And it's nice, they have pergolas, we saw them on CNN, but he'd rather be relevant until the state of being catatonic.

01:17:26.000 Okay, we have to go right now to, not to a commercial, where we are going to play for the first time I believe in two years, Hipster or Hobo.

01:17:33.000 Let's go!

01:17:34.000 Hipster Ho! 0.90

01:17:39.000 Nope.

01:17:43.000 Did we just lose the hipster hobo segment?

01:17:43.000 What just happened?

01:17:46.000 Oh no.

01:17:47.000 Did everything stop?

01:17:48.000 It just froze on the guy peeing.

01:17:50.000 Can we try it again?

01:17:52.000 Let me try it again.

01:17:53.000 Let's see if we'll try it again.

01:17:54.000 We'll try it again.

01:17:55.000 Hipster, oh my god.

01:18:01.000 How did we lose that?

01:18:02.000 This is the worst thing that's ever happened to me.

01:18:06.000 Ever.

01:18:07.000 Ever.

01:18:08.000 This hurts.

01:18:09.000 This is worse than SARS.

01:18:10.000 And that's really what bothers me most about COVID-19 is that I can't make SARS jokes anymore.

01:18:15.000 Maybe we should all just sing the intro.

01:18:17.000 Well, but no, you first.

01:18:19.000 It's like China demanding we fund the World Health Organization.

01:18:23.000 You go first, Brendan.

01:18:24.000 Can you sing it for us?

01:18:24.000 How about you do it?

01:18:27.000 Let's go.

01:18:28.000 Come on.

01:18:28.000 It's Hipster Hobo.

01:18:29.000 Hipster Hobo, I wish I knew.

01:18:33.000 Hipster Hobo, some things are not what they seem. 1.00

01:18:40.000 Our obnoxious assholes will destroy the value of your property. 0.99

01:18:47.000 And copyright strike. 1.00

01:18:49.000 Thank you, that was a good idea.

01:18:50.000 I mean, you were awful, but it was a good idea.

01:18:52.000 No, actually, he wasn't bad. 0.53

01:18:53.000 I'm here to make you shine.

01:18:54.000 Brendan can sing.

01:18:56.000 Anyone else notice that?

01:18:57.000 Even uncomfortable and with a mask on, he can sing.

01:19:00.000 He's the masked singer.

01:19:01.000 Okay, so for people who don't know, can we play the game though?

01:19:03.000 Do we know if those work?

01:19:04.000 Oh, yeah.

01:19:05.000 Okay, we can play the game.

01:19:06.000 So for people who aren't familiar, this is actually, I've noticed it's a striking, this was two years ago, now kind of everyone else knows this, striking similarity between hobos and hipsters to the point where it's almost difficult to tell the difference.

01:19:17.000 Yeah, it's almost impossible.

01:19:18.000 It's a tough game.

01:19:18.000 And so, what is going to happen right now is Quarterback Garrett and Audio Wade, they are going to show us a picture, and we are all going to have to guess if it's a hipster or hobo.

01:19:25.000 Okay.

01:19:26.000 And the one with the highest score gets absolutely nothing in return.

01:19:29.000 Oh.

01:19:30.000 Gets to end this program.

01:19:31.000 Are you ready, sir?

01:19:32.000 Alright, let's go!

01:19:33.000 Number one!

01:19:35.000 Let's see this.

01:19:36.000 Okay, is that a hipster or a hobo?

01:19:38.000 It's a nice mug.

01:19:39.000 What do you think, Brendan?

01:19:40.000 Hipster or hobo?

01:19:41.000 Looks like a hipster trying to look like Jon Snow.

01:19:45.000 Oh! 0.60

01:19:46.000 Good call.

01:19:46.000 Quarter black Garrett, what do you think?

01:19:48.000 I'm thinking hobo. 0.77

01:19:49.000 Okay.

01:19:49.000 I'm thinking hobo because the long hair, he's got that... Yeah, I'm gonna go hobo too.

01:19:54.000 Hipster.

01:19:55.000 Okay, here's what I will say.

01:19:55.000 Here's what I will say.

01:19:56.000 I'm going to say hipster because I'm looking at that tumbler and I'm seeing a two-tone.

01:20:01.000 It looks like underneath his pinky it's a different tone.

01:20:04.000 Like it could be a clean canteen.

01:20:05.000 He could have found it.

01:20:06.000 Or it could be a hydro flask.

01:20:08.000 So I'm gonna say hipster.

01:20:09.000 Alright, let's find out! 0.84

01:20:11.000 That one is a hobo indeed, just third grade math, no GED. 1.00

01:20:23.000 I was surprised, but the thing is, I was right in my assessment. 0.65

01:20:29.000 That's a hobo who does take great, he pays great attention to drink wear. 1.00

01:20:34.000 Hold on, so you were wrong?

01:20:36.000 Is that hobo sponsored by Turbos? 0.98

01:20:40.000 He's getting all the hobos on board with terms.

01:20:42.000 Who bet hobo? 0.98

01:20:43.000 That was me.

01:20:44.000 You two.

01:20:44.000 Alright, so you guys 2-0.

01:20:46.000 Let's show us another one. 0.68

01:20:47.000 Hipster hobo. 0.74

01:20:48.000 Let's see what this is. 0.61

01:20:51.000 Oh, that's a trick.

01:20:52.000 That's a trick.

01:20:55.000 We probably shouldn't play the clip on that one.

01:20:58.000 Should we not?

01:20:59.000 I don't know.

01:21:00.000 You know what?

01:21:02.000 I hate that I have been put in the position right now where I have to make a judgment call without all the information available to me because we could lose our jobs, but I'm going to call it.

01:21:09.000 We're going to do it.

01:21:12.000 That is a transgender hipster because hobos cannot afford the hormones. 1.00

01:21:19.000 Yeah. 0.97

01:21:20.000 I think we all agree.

01:21:21.000 It could be state funded.

01:21:23.000 Let's see.

01:21:24.000 Let us know. 0.98

01:21:32.000 He's neither of them, just a tranny. 1.00

01:21:37.000 He-she. 0.96

01:21:39.000 Two years ago.

01:21:42.000 I will say this.

01:21:43.000 I appreciate you looking out, Audio.

01:21:45.000 I was trying.

01:21:46.000 I really tried.

01:21:47.000 You threw me a lifeline and I was like the guy who threw me the lifesaver and all that.

01:21:51.000 No!

01:21:52.000 Get that laptop out of my face!

01:21:54.000 I don't need it!

01:21:55.000 No!

01:21:55.000 Someone handed me the floaties, and they're like, I don't need a kickboard!

01:21:59.000 Because you drown.

01:22:03.000 Alright, number three.

01:22:04.000 Let's see this one.

01:22:05.000 Yeah, let's wash the taste out of our mouth from that one.

01:22:07.000 Okay, I feel like this one is so obvious that it's a hipster that it should be a hipster.

01:22:12.000 There are no lenses, but is it just because he can't afford the lenses?

01:22:14.000 How do you know there are no lenses?

01:22:16.000 That's either a hipster or Ted Bundy.

01:22:18.000 I can't tell.

01:22:18.000 Here's also the wrench that's been tossed into these plants.

01:22:21.000 That could either be a hipster who purchased Warby Parker glasses, or it could be a hobo who has donated Warby Parker glasses.

01:22:27.000 That's a great point.

01:22:30.000 There are just tons of hobos walking around with Tom's shoes and Warby Parker glasses.

01:22:34.000 They are.

01:22:35.000 And we thought it was a style statement.

01:22:37.000 It's not.

01:22:38.000 It's just sadness.

01:22:39.000 If you go to Skid Row, you're like, is this an outdoor... is this a coffee house or a beer garden?

01:22:43.000 No, it's just wonderful companies. 0.88

01:22:46.000 Feces.

01:22:46.000 It's compassionate capitalism.

01:22:48.000 Did you get these for free or for $300?

01:22:49.000 for three hundred dollars yes and i don't want to worry three hundred dollars are i think

01:22:55.000 it's so obvious that it's a hipster to be hit it's not going to say it

01:22:58.000 What do you think, Brendan?

01:22:59.000 I feel like it's trying to be a trick question.

01:23:01.000 Yeah, so I'm willing to bet... You think it's a hipster?

01:23:04.000 Oh, yeah.

01:23:05.000 Straight hipster.

01:23:06.000 I don't know.

01:23:06.000 You could be right.

01:23:07.000 You see, you're playing 4D chess here.

01:23:08.000 No, that's my... No, you don't play any chess.

01:23:12.000 You play badgammon with a wall. 0.53

01:23:15.000 I'm going to say that it is just a very attractive hobo. 0.99

01:23:21.000 That one is a hipster, you see.

01:23:22.000 How about well kept?

01:23:24.000 That one is a hipster you see, you should have known by his fair trade teeth. 0.97

01:23:36.000 Also a white supremacist. 0.97

01:23:38.000 That is wrong.

01:23:39.000 I couldn't know that his tea was fair trade.

01:23:41.000 Hipster baby.

01:23:42.000 Got it. 0.98

01:23:43.000 Anybody who takes a photo and lifts the blue curve to get rid of the blacks, just like, that's a hipster. 1.00

01:23:48.000 What? 0.96

01:23:48.000 Wrong. 0.96

01:23:48.000 Computers. 0.96

01:23:50.000 What are you talking about?

01:23:52.000 It's a niche.

01:23:54.000 I hate all that is this right now.

01:23:56.000 Okay, let's do one more.

01:23:57.000 Let's call it a tiebreaker.

01:23:59.000 I don't think anyone's getting this right.

01:24:00.000 So let's see this last one for Hipster Hobo. 0.81

01:24:02.000 You can play along with us.

01:24:04.000 Well, that's not fair.

01:24:05.000 We're not even seeing facial features.

01:24:08.000 I'm going to say that beard's too coiffed.

01:24:10.000 The neck is clean.

01:24:10.000 It's too nice.

01:24:11.000 The neck is clean.

01:24:12.000 Right.

01:24:13.000 Wait a second.

01:24:13.000 We haven't seen a single hobo yet.

01:24:15.000 Not one hobo yet.

01:24:17.000 The very first one was a hobo.

01:24:18.000 The first one?

01:24:18.000 It didn't look like it, but it was.

01:24:20.000 Oh, it was the Tervis-sponsored hobo.

01:24:22.000 That's right.

01:24:23.000 It was the hobo-slash-Yeti-cooler model. 0.98

01:24:25.000 Right, yeah.

01:24:27.000 Well, in that case, I'm going to say hipster here.

01:24:29.000 Hobo.

01:24:31.000 What do you think?

01:24:32.000 I'm going hipster, too.

01:24:34.000 I love how I have to cue him every time.

01:24:37.000 He's been good at this game, though.

01:24:39.000 Brennan is brilliant.

01:24:40.000 He's a sleeper.

01:24:40.000 He knows his hobos.

01:24:41.000 He's a dark horse in all of this.

01:24:43.000 He just can't cook spaghetti noodles well.

01:24:45.000 He burns them to a crisp.

01:24:47.000 Why did you try to cook spaghetti noodles?

01:24:48.000 You just threw them in a pot.

01:24:49.000 I've been told that it's incorrect to call them spaghetti noodles.

01:24:53.000 It's not correct at all, yeah.

01:24:55.000 Mostly because it was actually penne.

01:24:57.000 It wasn't spaghetti at all.

01:24:59.000 He thinks that spaghetti is a synonym for pasta.

01:25:01.000 OK.

01:25:01.000 We all agree.

01:25:02.000 We all say hipster.

01:25:03.000 Let us know! 1.00

01:25:04.000 That one is a hipster indeed, he wears wool scarves and 95 degree, what a dick. 1.00

01:25:18.000 Oh jeez. 0.99

01:25:19.000 By the way, I also know why we didn't play this before because it is a gross violation

01:25:25.000 of copyright.

01:25:26.000 That's wrong.

01:25:27.000 Almost every rule.

01:25:28.000 We have trademark infringement and the entire Paul Simon and Garfunkel catalog as well as

01:25:35.000 just human decency.

01:25:37.000 If Joe Biden gets lost in the woods, who would you like to see as the Democratic frontrunner?

01:25:40.000 listen do we have any we have any chats like a good chat to send us out

01:25:42.000 otherwise we're just gonna go out and and do the personality test yeah so if

01:25:47.000 Joe Biden gets lost in the woods who would you like to see as the Democratic

01:25:50.000 front-runner thank you for all the extra content Jordan T okay I will say this

01:25:54.000 I would, if Joe Biden, can you read that again?

01:25:56.000 If Joe Biden gets lost in the woods, who would you like to see as the Democratic nominee?

01:26:00.000 Okay.

01:26:00.000 Uh, I would like to see whoever drove him out and left him in the woods.

01:26:04.000 That is the person who I would like to see.

01:26:06.000 Cause it would give us at least a Democrat with a little bit of chutzpah. 1.00

01:26:09.000 If someone has the nerve to recognize a problem that his, thy name is Joe Biden.

01:26:14.000 So I'm going to drive him to the Ozarks and let him fend for himself, which you know, he can't.

01:26:19.000 That's the person who I want to be.

01:26:22.000 And of course we know it can't be Bernie.

01:26:23.000 He can't drive because of cataracts.

01:26:24.000 So my guess is it would be, what's his name?

01:26:28.000 What's his name here?

01:26:29.000 Beto.

01:26:30.000 Beto.

01:26:31.000 Francis O'Rourke.

01:26:32.000 Beto?

01:26:33.000 So there you go.

01:26:34.000 I want, bring me Francis Beto O'Rourke because he did a good job dropping Joe Biden off in

01:26:41.000 Good job.

01:26:41.000 That is what I want to see.

01:26:42.000 That's the level of political discourse.

01:26:43.000 OK, we do have to get going tonight.

01:26:45.000 We will be taking the Political Compass quiz because you asked for it.

01:26:47.000 I'm not happy about it.

01:26:48.000 And of course, the live show tomorrow at 8 p.m.

01:26:52.000 A lot of credit dot com slash schedule.

01:26:54.000 So you can follow us.

01:26:54.000 We'll see you tonight.

01:26:55.000 Thank you.

Louder with Crowder - April 15, 2020

Trump Defunds the WHO! | #8 Good Morning MugClub

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