Making Sense - Sam Harris - December 23, 2017


#110 — The Change Artist


Episode Stats

Length

45 minutes

Words per Minute

162.5692

Word Count

7,459

Sentence Count

443

Misogynist Sentences

2

Hate Speech Sentences

12


Summary

A.J. Jacobs is the author of several New York Times bestsellers, including The Know It All, The Year of Living Biblically, The Guinea Pig Diaries, and Most Recently, It s All Relative. He s the editor-at-large of Esquire Magazine, also a contributor to NPR, and he's written for The New York TIMES, The Washington Post, and other journals. And we talk about many of the topics he s touched over his career, including his full-immersion approach to journalism, the way he performs elaborate experiments on himself, and his recent adventures in human genealogy. And now, without further delay, I bring you A.J.'s interview with Sam Harris, in which they discuss: What is a guilty pleasure? Why does it fall in the pleasure index? And how did it make him feel about being a writer and a human being? What s the best thing he s ever read? All of which he talks about in this episode of The Making Sense Podcast, hosted by Sam Harris. To find a list of our sponsors and show-related promo codes, go to gimlet.fm/OurAdvertisers. We don t run ads on the podcast, but we do make good stuff, and we do our best to support the products we mention in the ad copy is great, too. We appreciate the support we get from you, we really appreciate it. We really do. Thank you for listening and supporting the podcast. - Sam Harris - The Best Week Ever - Sincerely, Your Support is Amazingly Good, Thank You, Myself, And I'll See You, Too, Thank Me, By So Much So Much, I'll Make It So Much More Than That's A Good Thing, I Can Say That I Can See That I'll Say That So Much By That I Say It, Too I'll Send It So It's At At At That And I Can Do It So I'll Also Say It So At That By It's A Lot By That And So Much And I Do That And That's Not Really A Good Repay It And A Good Place By So I Say That And A Really Can Say It And I Will Also Say So And A Lot And A Thank You So Much That I Do It In A Big Thank You And A Few More So I Can Also Say That In A Few Times And A Little More So Much In A Verb And A More So ...


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Welcome to the Making Sense Podcast.
00:00:08.820 This is Sam Harris.
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00:00:46.760 Today I'm speaking with the writer and journalist A.J. Jacobs.
00:00:51.120 A.J. is the author of several New York Times bestsellers, The Know-It-All, The Year of Living
00:00:56.900 Biblically, The Guinea Pig Diaries, and most recently, It's All Relative.
00:01:04.440 He's the editor-at-large of Esquire Magazine, also a contributor to NPR, and he's written
00:01:10.200 for the New York Times, the Washington Post, and other journals.
00:01:15.000 And we talk about many of the topics he's touched over his career.
00:01:18.600 We talk about his full-immersion approach to journalism, the way he performs elaborate
00:01:23.020 experiments on himself.
00:01:25.000 We talk about religion, gossip, polyamory, health advice, how to think about one's past
00:01:32.160 and future selves, the ethics of honesty and what's been called radical honesty, his recent
00:01:38.640 adventures in human genealogy in his new book, its connection to tribalism, and many other
00:01:45.880 topics.
00:01:46.280 And now, without further delay, I bring you A.J. Jacobs.
00:01:57.160 I am here with A.J. Jacobs.
00:01:59.180 A.J., thanks for coming on the podcast.
00:02:01.340 Thanks for having me, Sam.
00:02:02.840 So, you are really a unique sort of writer.
00:02:08.120 I mean, I'm sure there are other people who take a similar approach, but I can't name them
00:02:12.820 off the top of my head.
00:02:13.740 You go into each book and to some of your articles more or less determined to perform
00:02:19.660 a very elaborate and sometimes painful psychological experiment on yourself and presumably everyone
00:02:25.980 you care about.
00:02:27.640 We're going to run through some of these topics you've touched, but first, just summarize
00:02:32.480 your approach here and describe your background as a writer.
00:02:36.640 Yeah, as you said, I am a writer and a journalist, and what I like to do is I immerse myself in
00:02:43.360 an idea or lifestyle and then report back what I've learned.
00:02:47.900 So, for instance, I spent a couple of years trying to be the healthiest person alive.
00:02:53.020 I spent another trying to follow all the rules of the Bible as literally as possible.
00:02:57.880 For my new book, I wanted to help build the World Family Tree, which is a family tree with
00:03:04.100 millions of people all connected, and hopefully soon will be all seven and a half billion people
00:03:11.080 on Earth.
00:03:12.440 So, yeah, that's my—people call it experiential journalism, immersion journalism, whatever.
00:03:18.480 But it's a good job.
00:03:20.280 It's a fun job.
00:03:21.420 I think we should go through each of these because they're quite different and they're
00:03:25.980 independently interesting.
00:03:27.580 Was your first the year of living biblically?
00:03:29.880 Actually, no.
00:03:30.540 My first was where I decided I was woefully ignorant, so I tried to remedy it by reading
00:03:37.300 the encyclopedia from A to Z, Encyclopedia Britannica, when it still existed in print form.
00:03:42.320 I don't recall.
00:03:42.900 How far did you get?
00:03:43.700 Did you get to Z?
00:03:45.240 Well, yeah.
00:03:45.680 I don't want to, you know, spoilers, but yes, I did get to Z.
00:03:48.660 I got to—the last word is Ziviecz, a town in south-central Poland.
00:03:53.820 And how long did that take?
00:03:54.800 That took over a year and a half of reading about six or seven hours a day.
00:04:00.620 Was that a painful ordeal mostly, or was it an incredibly enriching, guilty pleasure
00:04:08.240 that you were just amazed that you could get paid to do?
00:04:11.760 Where did it fall in the pleasure index?
00:04:14.800 I would say both.
00:04:15.780 At times, it was incredibly painful, including for my wife, who started to—she fined me
00:04:21.760 $1 for every irrelevant fact I inserted into conversation, so she made a lot of money.
00:04:27.500 But at other times, it was a pure joy.
00:04:30.600 And actually, one of the big takeaways was it did make my life better, and it was partly
00:04:37.000 because reading about the full sweep of human history, it really was clear to me that the
00:04:42.200 good old days were not good at all.
00:04:44.220 They were disease-ridden, violent, sexist, racist, dirty, smelly.
00:04:52.080 So, you know, Steven Pinker's book, The Better Angels of Our Nature, I got to—I sort of saw
00:04:58.520 that through reading the encyclopedia.
00:05:01.880 And it just made me—even when I'm feeling down, even just this three-word phrase,
00:05:08.640 surgery without anesthesia, surgery without anesthesia, that—
00:05:12.860 Yeah, it brings you back.
00:05:13.800 That just—it really does.
00:05:15.780 So, yeah, it was overall an uplifting experience, if not for my wife.
00:05:21.160 And how much would you say stuck?
00:05:24.100 Is there a lasting benefit to it?
00:05:27.800 Do you have a sense of what it did to your mind?
00:05:30.040 I would say I retained less than 1%, although 1% of 33,000 pages is a lot more than I was
00:05:38.660 at before.
00:05:39.640 I wish that I could control what I retained, but I think the human brain is drawn to the
00:05:45.840 bizarre and the—for instance, I still remember that the origin of heroin was the Bayer Aspirin
00:05:56.000 Company invented heroin as a cough suppressant.
00:06:00.040 And it is actually a very effective cost suppressant, but it turns out it has some other side effects,
00:06:06.180 and they had to take it off the market.
00:06:07.860 But they're the ones who named it heroin after heroism.
00:06:11.220 So that's the kind of—you know, it has to do with sex and drugs.
00:06:16.680 Irrelevant fact for which you'll get fined, $1?
00:06:18.920 Yes.
00:06:19.460 Yeah.
00:06:19.800 If you want me to cut a check right now, I understand.
00:06:23.160 No, that's—I like facts like that.
00:06:25.260 But I do not have to live with you on a daily basis.
00:06:28.960 It's also often forgotten—I mean, it's amazing what Wikipedia has done to the stature of the
00:06:36.100 Encyclopedia Britannica, but it's often forgotten that some of those articles were really well-written.
00:06:42.440 I mean, there are famous editions of the Britannica where some of the great intellectuals of the day
00:06:48.620 were writing the articles.
00:06:50.180 I don't know if that persisted until the final edition, but—
00:06:53.240 No, no, but you're right.
00:06:55.460 Early on in the 1900s, you had Houdini writing about magic.
00:06:59.600 You had Freud writing about psychoanalysis.
00:07:04.380 So it really was—and the writing was quite literary.
00:07:08.040 So it was beautiful.
00:07:08.900 At the same time, it was also sort of a snapshot into the past because a lot of it was incredibly racist.
00:07:16.400 And a lot of it, you know, in the first edition, they said that California was quite likely an island.
00:07:23.920 So you do get to see all of the mistakes as well.
00:07:28.480 All right.
00:07:28.600 Well, let's go to another book that also has some nice writing in it and some that's not so nice.
00:07:35.280 And it has yet to be superseded fatally by Wikipedia or any other resource.
00:07:40.900 And that is the Bible.
00:07:42.340 So tell me how you hatched this plan to become the most religious person in New York City.
00:07:48.380 Right.
00:07:49.100 All right.
00:07:49.440 Well, yeah, the plan was to follow every rule of the Bible as literally as possible.
00:07:55.140 So I had two motivations for writing this book.
00:07:58.440 The first is that I hoped to expose the absurdity of fundamentalism by becoming the ultimate fundamentalist.
00:08:06.220 So, as you know better than me, there are millions of people who say they take the Bible literally, that homosexuality is a sin.
00:08:14.500 That's what the Bible says.
00:08:15.660 Creationism is true.
00:08:17.260 It seemed clear to me they were not taking the entire Bible literally.
00:08:21.200 They were taking parts.
00:08:22.960 It was very selective literalism.
00:08:24.820 They were ignoring other parts and cherry picking.
00:08:27.440 So I wanted to show what would it look like if you actually took the entire Bible literally without picking and choosing.
00:08:33.620 So I followed the hundreds of rules that are often ignored.
00:08:37.420 You know, the Bible says you can't shave the corners of your beard.
00:08:40.180 I didn't know where the corners were.
00:08:41.560 So I just grew this massive topiary.
00:08:43.900 I looked like, you know.
00:08:46.040 You look like Ted Kaczynski at the height of his bomb making prowess.
00:08:50.560 I definitely had a Kaczynski vibe.
00:08:53.580 The Bible says no wearing mixed fibers.
00:08:56.500 So I know poly cotton blends in my closet.
00:08:59.540 Bible says to stone adulterers.
00:09:01.900 So I thought I should try that.
00:09:03.200 I used pebbles because I didn't want to go to jail for life.
00:09:06.560 But basically, I followed everything and I acted like a crazy person, which is what you will do if you take the Bible literally.
00:09:14.280 So that was motivation number one, to show that fundamentalists are deeply misguided and actually not doing what they say.
00:09:22.120 The second motivation was a little more earnest.
00:09:25.220 I wanted to understand the appeal of religion and see if are there any aspects of religion that can make my life better.
00:09:33.200 Because I grew up with no religion at all.
00:09:35.700 I say in the book, I'm Jewish, but I'm Jewish in the same way the Olive Garden is Italian.
00:09:40.320 So not very.
00:09:42.340 So you were taking just the Old Testament or did you extend it to the New Testament?
00:09:47.180 I mostly did the Old because of my Jewish background and because that has most of the laws.
00:09:54.140 But I did dabble in the New.
00:09:56.040 So I did about eight months of Old, four months of New.
00:09:59.100 So were you officially a Jew for Jesus for the last third?
00:10:02.460 Third?
00:10:03.380 I suppose so.
00:10:04.560 I did meet with them.
00:10:05.740 They were interesting.
00:10:07.600 Yeah, I met with all sorts of different groups to see how they interpreted the Bible literally.
00:10:12.520 So that was the second motivation was to see, am I missing anything?
00:10:18.880 Were you missing something?
00:10:19.800 Well, let me, if I could just back up.
00:10:24.260 And one of the ways I looked at religion, which I found very helpful, were the three Bs.
00:10:31.100 I think it was a Jewish scholar who first came up with it.
00:10:33.780 That religion is belief, belonging, and behavior.
00:10:37.820 So belief in God, belonging to a community, and behavior.
00:10:42.440 So encouraging ethical behavior like no stealing or lying or going to a weekly meeting of some sort.
00:10:48.760 And so through this project, I did see the appeal of the first of two of those three, belonging and behavior.
00:10:58.280 I did see that rituals can be beautiful.
00:11:01.280 Like Passover, it can be, you know, you get together with your family, eat some food.
00:11:07.240 Some of it's good.
00:11:08.020 Some of it's disgusting.
00:11:10.320 But I see that.
00:11:12.620 And a community belonging to a community.
00:11:14.900 I mean, I think we are, as humans, we're built to belong to a community.
00:11:20.620 And there are studies on how people who go to church live longer.
00:11:24.340 And I don't think it's because God likes them better.
00:11:27.300 It's because they have a tight-knit group.
00:11:29.780 So I thought the, I understood more about two of the three.
00:11:34.640 The belief in the supernatural, I don't buy.
00:11:39.240 And I think I was actually a little too easy on supernatural belief in my book.
00:11:46.960 If I were going to write it again, I would come down harder on the dangers of supernatural belief.
00:11:54.240 And that that is, that the good of religion, because I do think sometimes religion can do good,
00:12:00.300 like the civil rights movement or anti-slavery.
00:12:03.800 But I think the good of religion can be outweighed by the bad because of these supernatural beliefs
00:12:12.640 can justify just the most horrible behavior.
00:12:16.440 My argument there is always that religion gives people reasons to be good,
00:12:20.840 but it gives them bad reasons where good reasons are actually available.
00:12:24.780 Right.
00:12:25.220 And so it's like, obviously, it's great that some people are inspired to do legitimately good things
00:12:31.540 on the basis of their religious beliefs, but it's just, it's a failure of a wider ethical
00:12:37.620 culture and conversation that they have those reasons as opposed to the truly unimpeachable
00:12:44.000 reasons one could have for a civil rights movement or anything else that we would agree is good.
00:12:50.160 And I think the danger is you can take the Bible and then interpret it in a hundred different
00:12:55.420 ways.
00:12:55.780 So it was used not just by abolitionists, but it was used by people in favor of slavery and
00:13:02.740 say it's in the Bible and that, you know, Cain's offspring are the, are meant to be slaves.
00:13:09.900 So yeah, I, I think that that is very dangerous in that sense.
00:13:15.320 Uh, but again, the, I, I do like the belonging and behavior.
00:13:20.540 So I am one of those who believes some sort of secular, uh, church, some sort of secular
00:13:27.460 religion might be good for, for our species.
00:13:32.720 So I see how you got the behavior and we should probably talk about specifically what you did
00:13:36.800 and, and its effect on you.
00:13:38.420 But the belonging part, I would imagine that because the roots of your, this experiment
00:13:44.820 were so obvious that you're, you're basically, you're, it's not a sincere conversion experience.
00:13:52.180 You're just trying it on for size and trying it on for the purpose of this, this writing
00:13:57.460 project, these communities that you interacted with, how did people treat you?
00:14:02.240 Were you pretending to be totally sincere for your interactions with them or, or how did,
00:14:06.520 how did these conversations go?
00:14:08.420 Well, I would say that in terms of sincerity, I, I do think that I was insincere in trying
00:14:14.820 to learn what the appeal of religion was.
00:14:17.680 And also it got very murky because even if you start something as a lark, if you, um, fully
00:14:25.460 commit to the behavior, then your mind eventually starts to turn.
00:14:31.600 Uh, so that was, uh, you know, it's basic cognitive behavioral therapy and cognitive dissonance.
00:14:38.420 I was acting as a religious person all the time.
00:14:42.480 And eventually my mind caught up.
00:14:45.400 It, it faded after I stopped, but I've actually found that it, that can be a very useful tool.
00:14:51.740 Uh, there's a great quote, uh, by the founder of Habitat for Humanity that says, it's easier
00:14:58.620 to act your way into a new way of thinking than to think your way into a new way of acting.
00:15:03.720 So I would, I would force myself, uh, to visit friends in the hospital.
00:15:09.320 And I would say, uh, again, even though I hated going to the hospital and my mind would, would
00:15:15.780 look around and say, Oh, I'm in the hospital.
00:15:17.540 I must be an ethical, compassionate person.
00:15:20.040 And you do that enough and you start to become a little bit better.
00:15:24.280 You hadn't put any of these friends in the hospital by stoning them for working on the
00:15:27.840 Sabbath or anything like that?
00:15:29.780 No.
00:15:30.380 Although I did stone one astrologer as well as an adulterer.
00:15:33.980 Uh, she did not think it was funny.
00:15:36.040 She was not into it at all.
00:15:38.300 But yes, there, um, so I would say there, there was an earnestness as well as of the,
00:15:44.640 the desire to satirize fundamentalism.
00:15:47.720 It was sort of those two prongs and, uh, it was interesting to see, I went spent a lot
00:15:54.380 of time with, uh, very religious people who were open to me, um, because, uh, I was going
00:16:01.160 in there to try to learn their point of view, even if I disagreed with it.
00:16:04.940 And one of my most interesting trips was going to the creation museum.
00:16:08.620 This was right before it opened.
00:16:11.320 And, uh, and as you know, that's the museum devoted to the idea that young earth creationism,
00:16:16.900 the world of 6,000 years, beautifully done museum, by the way, millions of dollars.
00:16:22.200 They have, uh, you know, beautiful statues of Eve and Adam, although you can't see any
00:16:28.120 of their private parts because, you know, that would be, uh, that would be sinful.
00:16:32.300 But, um, what struck me there is how intelligent the, how basically how amazing it is that very
00:16:43.480 intelligent people can believe very foolish ideas and, and the amount of mental energy
00:16:50.200 and mental gymnastics that these creationists used to justify their beliefs was astonishing.
00:16:57.940 I mean, I would go there.
00:16:59.860 They had a whole book in their library about the feasibility of Noah's Ark.
00:17:05.140 And it, it, it was so detailed and well-researched about how, uh, the ventilation system would
00:17:12.020 work, how they would get rid of manure.
00:17:14.760 And, um, it, it, it was a, it was an impressive work, but, uh, in my opinion, it was just, uh,
00:17:22.660 an exercise in, in, it was just a crazy use of mental energy, but they were very smart.
00:17:29.660 Yeah, it is interesting.
00:17:31.920 You actually don't have to be irrational across the board to be a religious maniac.
00:17:38.240 You just have to have an initial down payment of irrationality on the, on the basic premise
00:17:44.880 that say this single book was dictated by the creator of the universe.
00:17:49.180 But once you believe that, then you can put all of your remaining rationality to work, trying
00:17:56.640 to make sense of the text and getting it to square with all the inconvenient facts that
00:18:02.400 come your way from the wider world, then you can have people who are, go and get PhDs in
00:18:08.060 biochemistry and view everything they're learning through the lens of how to square it with the
00:18:14.480 book of Genesis.
00:18:15.800 Right.
00:18:16.180 And that is one of the people I met there was fascinating.
00:18:18.840 He was an astrophysicist and he has spent all his time doing just that.
00:18:22.940 He did believe that the, the universe was billions of light years across.
00:18:28.140 So how did he square that with the fact that the world was only 6,000, the universe was only
00:18:33.520 6,000 years old and he had all these complicated theories involving time travel and, uh, but it
00:18:40.360 really was remarkable.
00:18:41.500 I will say that one thing that, that, that made me more that, uh, I don't know if it's softened
00:18:48.020 my heart, but it made me understand a little more of that, why they were so passionate about
00:18:52.620 it is one of the creationists told me if evolution is true, we all, uh, evolve from pond scum.
00:19:00.940 And how can you have a dig, how can you have human dignity if we all are just pond scum?
00:19:07.380 And of course I do believe we evolve from pond scum and I believe that you can have, I actually
00:19:15.760 think it's inspiring that we've come so far from pond scum.
00:19:19.160 But, but not only that, we have a fair amount of pond scum, you know, still, if you just
00:19:24.000 look at the, you know, every person's microbiome, the ratio of bacterial cells to human cells
00:19:30.200 in any body is something like 10 to one.
00:19:31.940 It's just a crazy, I mean, it's a crazy place to try to hang your human dignity on some sort
00:19:37.640 of fundamental material difference between our species and the rest of nature.
00:19:44.180 Well, that's it.
00:19:44.700 I think that they really want to separate humans from everyone else.
00:19:50.180 There's a lot in religion that's about separation, uh, like, you know, even kosher, just separating
00:19:56.100 milk and meat, separating ourselves from the Philistines.
00:19:58.900 And that is, I view life as more of a, uh, a spectrum.
00:20:04.760 And so I'm okay with having us be on the same spectrum as animals, but, but they, uh, they
00:20:12.600 find it, uh, hard to retain the dignity.
00:20:16.160 So the challenge is to try to convince them, you know what, this is, you can still have human
00:20:21.700 dignity without, without a 6,000 year old arc.
00:20:25.880 Who were you in dialogue with mostly?
00:20:28.680 Was it mostly ultra-Orthodox Jews, or did you, you split your time evenly across a dozen
00:20:34.880 sects?
00:20:35.840 Who did you talk to?
00:20:37.060 And, and I can imagine that even among the Orthodox Jews you spoke with, your orientation
00:20:46.380 wasn't exactly what they would recommend, or was it?
00:20:50.660 Correct.
00:20:52.000 Yeah.
00:20:52.300 I spoke, I tried to spread myself around to at least a dozen.
00:20:56.640 So, um, the evangelical Christians and, uh, uh, the Jehovah's Witnesses, I, by the way,
00:21:04.560 uh, I might be the only person who, who boarded Jehovah's Witness, who out Bible talked to Jehovah's
00:21:10.800 Witnesses.
00:21:11.300 He came to my house and after three hours, he was like, all right, I've had enough.
00:21:15.400 I'm out of here.
00:21:16.020 Well done.
00:21:16.340 But I, thank you.
00:21:18.220 But yeah, and then the Hasidic Jews, but I also had more progressive rabbis and ministers
00:21:24.620 talking to me.
00:21:26.220 And, uh, yeah, you're right about the, the Hasidic Jews don't actually follow the Bible literally.
00:21:34.620 And as you know, they have, uh, the oral law, which is the Talmud.
00:21:39.500 And so something in the Bible, like for instance, it says that you should, in Leviticus, you should
00:21:46.420 not boil a baby goat in its mother's milk.
00:21:49.720 So if you're taking the Bible literally, I just had to avoid boiling a baby goat in its mother's
00:21:55.180 milk for a year, which I was able to do.
00:21:56.960 Um, but very Orthodox Jews have, it's been interpreted over the years and, and widen and widen to mean
00:22:03.020 do not have milk and meat at the same time.
00:22:05.720 So that's where you get no cheeseburgers.
00:22:07.880 So it is actually not, it's an offshoot of Judaism called Karaite Judaism does try to
00:22:14.760 follow the Bible literally, but they are seen as, uh, as sort of, um, uh, heretics.
00:22:20.980 What was the most surprising or a few of the most surprising changes in your outlook born
00:22:29.840 of adopting the mere behavior by rote?
00:22:33.140 Well, I would say, uh, yeah, I did become a slightly more compassionate.
00:22:38.560 One thing that was, I tried to, um, avoid gossiping and, uh, that can be defined in various
00:22:46.480 ways, but I just tried to cut out any negative talk about anyone.
00:22:50.980 And it was actually a remarkable experience because I did feel a little bit better about
00:22:57.920 humanity and the way I think it might've happened is my brain would, I would start to form a negative
00:23:04.840 thought about someone and my brain would, would sort of kick in and say, you know what, this
00:23:10.360 thought will never be expressed.
00:23:12.500 Let's not even follow through on it because it's a waste of energy.
00:23:16.680 So I, I had fewer negative thoughts and it made my, I, it, it made my life better.
00:23:23.280 I will say, I mean, I'm still, I still gossip all the time because I'm human, but I do think
00:23:29.180 I gossip maybe 30% less than I used to.
00:23:33.620 Right.
00:23:34.560 Gossip is very interesting.
00:23:35.720 And there's a, a similar rule in Buddhism, the whole doctrine of right speech and gossip
00:23:42.260 is one of the forms of speech that is considered just not useful for building a mind and a life
00:23:48.240 that, uh, you, you want to inhabit.
00:23:49.940 But I'm sensitive to the character of my own gossip and I'm kind of two minds about gossip
00:23:58.260 because on one level you, you can feel what's wrong with it.
00:24:02.500 If you're at all sensitive to this, you can immediately feel what's wrong with it because
00:24:06.020 if you're talking about people behind their back, one, if you, if you're sort of trading
00:24:11.800 in, in negative stories about them, especially for their entertainment value, you can see how
00:24:17.980 you're just sort of just kind of dining out on the, on the misfortunes of others.
00:24:21.460 And also you're introducing into the conversation with the people you're gossiping with this
00:24:27.640 rarely acknowledged fact, which is you are showing yourself to be the kind of person who will
00:24:33.740 talk about his or her friends in their absence.
00:24:38.980 This can be as stark as, you know, one friend getting up from the table to go to the bathroom
00:24:44.260 and the remaining friends talking about him or her in his or her absence in a way that
00:24:49.920 wouldn't survive that person's company without some problem.
00:24:55.840 And so, and so everyone is drawing from that experience, the message again, almost never
00:25:00.840 acknowledged that you're the sorts of friends who will dish about one another, you know, in
00:25:06.560 the other's absence.
00:25:07.300 And it just creates a fundamental lack of trust, often unacknowledged.
00:25:13.480 The rule I've set for myself is not really, it's not a non-gossip rule, but I, I really
00:25:20.460 try to be aware of how I'm talking about other people.
00:25:24.180 And I make every effort to only speak about them in a way that I would be comfortable with
00:25:30.800 them overhearing.
00:25:31.660 I tend never to say something about a person that I wouldn't say to his or her face.
00:25:39.740 And in many cases that I haven't said to his or her face.
00:25:42.400 And again, it's hard to be perfect here because you sometimes you're caught up in, in the moment
00:25:46.900 where you're, you're in dialogue with other people who are not at all following that kind
00:25:51.760 of standard.
00:25:52.500 And you're, it's kind of pushing your orientation around, but it's very useful to look at because
00:25:57.480 we'll talk about dishonesty too, because I know you've, you've touched that topic, but
00:26:01.900 it's, gossip can be really corrosive.
00:26:05.820 Although I guess that the flip side of it is, and this is where I don't totally align
00:26:09.780 with the, the Buddhist view that gossip is just bad.
00:26:13.120 It does serve a social function in the need that everyone feels to manage their reputation.
00:26:20.940 If reputation management were not a problem, the door to hell is sort of kicked open in the
00:26:26.660 sense that you now have totally shameless people willing to do more or less anything because
00:26:34.040 they, they just have no concern about their reputations.
00:26:38.380 And on some level we have a, a new president who fits that mold.
00:26:43.020 I guess he thinks he cares about his reputation, but he's someone who on some level just wants
00:26:49.600 to be talked about.
00:26:50.520 He doesn't really care in what vein.
00:26:53.300 And it's probably better for society that people can still be humiliated or, or embarrassed
00:27:01.680 by trespassing various norms.
00:27:04.940 Right.
00:27:05.200 Yeah, I, I agree with you.
00:27:06.500 There's, I think you do need some gossip, but it has to be the right kind of gossip.
00:27:11.720 You know, if there's a publisher I know, and you're, you're in talks with him, but I know
00:27:16.320 that, uh, that, uh, that, that publisher is a horrible person who lies and cheats and doesn't
00:27:21.480 pay.
00:27:22.120 That's the kind of gossip that I think is, uh, is instructive.
00:27:26.020 But a lot of gossip is just, uh, as you say, like a Roman holiday, uh, just, uh, pure joy
00:27:35.300 in other people's, uh, pain.
00:27:37.880 And that is, that is not a good way to go.
00:27:41.420 I actually just learned, this is a little sideline, um, but I learned of a, for one of
00:27:47.460 my books, I spent some time with the polyamory community.
00:27:50.500 I'm not polyamorous myself, but they had, uh, an interesting emotion that they call compersion.
00:27:59.040 Polyamory is an open relationship or polyamory is also conveys some implication of bisexuality.
00:28:06.380 No, it's just ethical non-monogamy.
00:28:09.240 So you could be in any formation.
00:28:11.840 Wasn't that part of the, the Bible experiment?
00:28:13.640 You're absolutely right.
00:28:14.820 I actually brought it up to my wife.
00:28:16.820 I was like, you know, David had 12 wives.
00:28:18.840 Solomon had 700.
00:28:20.720 I actually talked to, uh,
00:28:22.380 Well, let's split the difference.
00:28:23.520 Yeah.
00:28:24.620 Actually, that sounds exhausting.
00:28:26.300 I really don't relish that idea.
00:28:28.820 But, um, I did talk to, during my year of living biblically, the head of the, um, polygamy
00:28:34.740 association of America, who is very religious and had just this argument that in the old
00:28:40.660 Testament, all these men had wives.
00:28:43.200 And he actually had, like I said, it's an interesting idea.
00:28:46.300 How do I do it practically?
00:28:48.040 And he had some very, uh, specific advice.
00:28:50.720 He said, I should go out, marry the second woman, come back to my wife and, and tell her
00:28:56.740 it's a fait accompli, and then it's more likely that she'll accept it.
00:29:01.660 So just pure insanity.
00:29:03.940 Right.
00:29:05.380 That would have been a good article though.
00:29:07.540 I think, uh, your editor at Esquire might've signed off on that one.
00:29:11.020 Yeah, it would have been a good article, the end of my marriage, but, uh, yeah, um, if I
00:29:15.680 were committed, but they talk about compersion, which is happiness at other people's happiness.
00:29:22.200 So being joyful when your partner has sexual relations with another person.
00:29:29.220 And I love the idea.
00:29:31.260 I cannot imagine experiencing compersion whenever I think about my wife with another guy.
00:29:37.280 Is this a neologism of their, the polyamory community, or, or is this a word that I haven't
00:29:43.320 yet read in the OED?
00:29:44.780 I had never heard it.
00:29:45.880 So I, I think it might be, but maybe there's, there's some precedent for it.
00:29:50.500 Uh, but I thought it was a really interesting idea and they, their argument is like, just
00:29:56.040 try to think about if you are, if you love someone and your wife goes out and has a really
00:30:01.520 great meal at a restaurant, you would be happy for it, even if you're not there.
00:30:06.140 And you take that to the extreme and you should be happy if she has a vibrant sex life with
00:30:11.500 someone else.
00:30:12.180 And it's an interesting idea.
00:30:14.060 I cannot do it myself, but maybe the world would be better if you could.
00:30:18.580 It is a pretty Buddhist idea as well.
00:30:21.940 I mean, the, the, the, the Buddhist term for that attitude, it's, it's rarely thought of
00:30:27.640 in the context of extramarital sex, but the name for the mental state of being happy, being
00:30:33.680 made happy by the joy of others is sympathetic joy.
00:30:38.000 I like that.
00:30:39.040 It's more or less the way love feels in the presence of, of another person's joy.
00:30:44.100 When you're, when you're in the presence of another person's suffering, you feel compassion,
00:30:47.420 but to be made happy by the smile of, of someone you love is obviously an experience we all
00:30:53.520 share.
00:30:53.900 And then to extend that to all possible reasons why she could be smiling seems like a fairly
00:31:00.420 heroic act given the level of jealousy many people feel.
00:31:03.820 I mean, I think it is the level, cause I do think Schadenfreude is one of the worst emotions
00:31:08.060 out there.
00:31:09.040 Have you been able to cultivate this sympathetic compassion in yourself?
00:31:15.020 Yeah.
00:31:15.340 But it's just, there are conditions where it comes up against something else you seem to
00:31:20.300 really care about, like something like monogamy.
00:31:22.680 But yeah, no, I, I can understand it even in that context.
00:31:26.260 I mean, just imagine if you're, you know, if you had some terminal diagnosis, right.
00:31:29.820 And just what sort of person would you be if you, you found out you had six months to
00:31:34.480 live and now you're having to envision your, your wife's life going on for decades after
00:31:40.940 you.
00:31:41.560 And I don't know, do you have children?
00:31:44.060 So you have, you're picturing your wife and your children living long lives after you're
00:31:50.720 gone.
00:31:51.680 Then what do you hope for her in that context?
00:31:53.880 Do you hope that she meets some man who she's happy with and who, who's a great stepfather
00:31:59.200 to your children?
00:32:00.680 It's pretty easy for me to get there.
00:32:03.240 And obviously I don't want to think about that happening.
00:32:06.060 I mean, I wouldn't be made happy by this happening, but it's pretty obvious to me that
00:32:10.500 should I find myself in that situation, the only rational and, and decent ethical commitment
00:32:19.060 is to want my wife and children to be as happy as possible going forward and not be made needlessly
00:32:26.480 miserable by my absence.
00:32:28.440 Well, I, I think that is one, uh, one advantage of not believing in an afterlife or, or a soul
00:32:35.580 is that I really, since I believe that when the lights are out, the lights are out, what
00:32:41.780 happens after that has absolutely no impact on my, my joy or pain.
00:32:46.920 So I've actually given some thought to this and I, I told my wife, I, at my funeral, it's
00:32:54.320 totally up to you.
00:32:55.820 Even better crowdsource it, ask what people would want.
00:32:59.780 Do they want a speech?
00:33:01.020 Do they want, uh, just, just drink whatever they want, whatever would give them the most
00:33:07.040 happiness is what you should do.
00:33:09.560 Yeah.
00:33:10.280 Yeah.
00:33:10.820 Well, we need not take this in a morbid direction.
00:33:13.640 And presumably you and I are both healthy enough for the moment to be jealous husbands.
00:33:18.940 And on the topic of health, I, I, if there's more to say about the, the biblical experiment,
00:33:23.320 I want to say it, but I, I do want to touch your, your experiments in health as well, because
00:33:28.700 obviously that's of interest to, to every person who does not want to die.
00:33:34.540 Yeah.
00:33:34.940 So that one came about because I did not want to die, as you say, uh, and I, I was pretty
00:33:40.840 unhealthy for most of my life.
00:33:43.180 I, I sort of saw my body as a way to carry my brain around.
00:33:47.860 I didn't give much thought to it.
00:33:49.480 I wasn't traditionally fat.
00:33:51.680 I was more what they call a skinny fat.
00:33:54.240 So I, I, my body looked like sort of a snake that swallowed a goat.
00:33:58.440 Um, but I wanted to, uh, I, I think there's a lot to, uh, being healthy and the, the links
00:34:06.100 between health and emotions and, and brain.
00:34:10.080 So even if I was just doing it for, uh, a better mental state, uh, it was important.
00:34:16.400 So I decided to do a similar project to the Bible where I wrote down hundreds of pieces
00:34:23.000 of health advice and I, um, I tried to follow them all.
00:34:27.800 So I revamped every part of my life, my exercise regimen, my, my diet, uh, the way I slept, my
00:34:36.600 sex life, the way I went to the bathroom.
00:34:38.820 There is, uh, you know, the, the, the whole idea that, that our paleolithic for parents
00:34:45.580 were squatters, not sitters.
00:34:47.880 So I, um, I did everything possible.
00:34:51.320 Uh, it was supposed to be a year, but I was so out of shape.
00:34:53.840 It took me two.
00:34:54.600 And it was a really interesting, uh, experiment and it did change my life somewhat.
00:35:00.940 Um, and it also made me realize.
00:35:05.200 Did you, did you measure the change in, in terms of body fat and blood work and all that?
00:35:11.280 I did.
00:35:11.660 I did.
00:35:12.100 I went, I mean, part of it was being, uh, aligned with this, uh, the quantified self
00:35:17.600 movement, uh, which, uh, Kevin Kelly, your former guest was part of.
00:35:22.340 And, uh, yeah, so I definitely, I went in all the right directions.
00:35:26.360 I did feel better, but I also discovered just the, uh, the shocking amount of bunkum, uh,
00:35:34.460 and, uh, and quackery in the health world.
00:35:38.160 Uh, that might've been the most useful takeaway actually is, uh, is just this being able to
00:35:46.860 spot a little better this, the absurdities that are passed off as science.
00:35:55.080 So if you had to summarize your beliefs now about the best health advice, how would you
00:36:01.460 say someone should live so as to cheat death most reliably?
00:36:06.060 Well, I think one of the lessons was that I could pretty much summarize it in a, in a
00:36:11.300 paragraph or two.
00:36:12.580 Uh, they wanted me to write a health, uh, column for Esquire and I, I want, I, I was like, all
00:36:19.660 right, but, uh, it'll be the same two paragraphs pretty much every month.
00:36:23.140 I'm not sure anyone will want to pay attention, but, um, the, the basic idea is, uh, it's very
00:36:29.620 simple.
00:36:30.340 Move more, eat less.
00:36:31.700 Um, and when you do eat, eat real food, I do believe that, um, that processed carbs are,
00:36:39.040 are some of the worst.
00:36:40.480 They, I think there's like a lot of evidence for that.
00:36:43.320 Um, don't smoke, get a lot of sleep.
00:36:46.320 There's increasing evidence how important that is.
00:36:48.540 It affects everything from job performance to driving to your IQ at the day after.
00:36:54.020 Uh, and, uh, uh, don't hit yourself in the forehead with an ax.
00:36:59.020 Uh, it's, it's really quite, quite basic.
00:37:03.120 Uh, but, uh, but there are millions of people trying to make money by selling some sort of
00:37:10.460 secret.
00:37:10.860 Uh, and you know, there's like goop is perhaps the biggest violator that comes to mind.
00:37:18.000 And, uh, Goop being Gwyneth Paltrow's company, right?
00:37:22.040 With the insanity that they try to peddle.
00:37:24.980 Uh, and Dr. Oz, I've actually been on his show and I like him as a person.
00:37:29.420 And I think he's, he's probably a great heart, heart doctor from all I've heard, but he kind
00:37:34.600 of ran out of things to say.
00:37:37.740 He ran out of real advice and he got into the, uh, the whole, uh, I don't know if he's done
00:37:43.880 homeopathy, but he's done a lot like that.
00:37:46.160 Well, wasn't he, he was now, now we can get into gossip mode, but, uh, I'm pretty, I'm
00:37:50.240 pretty sure I, I won't say anything about him that I wouldn't say to him on this podcast.
00:37:54.760 Was he prosecuted for some, something he touted that turned out to be purely fictitious?
00:38:01.240 Oh, I wish I knew.
00:38:02.580 I can't.
00:38:03.140 I think that there was, there was something, but yeah, he has sort of gone down the path
00:38:07.580 of recommending miracle berries or something that, that lead to fat loss or something unseemly
00:38:14.660 for a real doctor.
00:38:16.400 So what was your, as far as the dietary advice, where did your research take you on the question
00:38:21.880 of eating meat versus being a vegetarian versus being a vegan?
00:38:26.600 Well, I am actually a vegetarian, but for ethical reasons, uh, more than health, as far as I can
00:38:32.940 tell, uh, and this gets to basic epistemological, uh, uh, concerns because I think people like Gary
00:38:41.800 Taubes, who I quoted in my book are very smart and he's very much into the idea that the cholesterol
00:38:47.800 hypothesis is wrong.
00:38:49.240 And, uh, he's sort of an advocate of the low carb movement.
00:38:54.100 So you've got Gary Taubes and the low carb movement on one end of the spectrum.
00:38:58.580 And then you've got, uh, books like the China diet on the other, which say that eating purely
00:39:05.520 vegan is the way to a long life.
00:39:08.480 So from what I can tell, it seems to me that the mostly plants does at this point have the
00:39:17.880 most evidence, scientific evidence behind it.
00:39:21.020 I know that Gary and many of his, uh, folks will disagree with that, but one thing that
00:39:28.080 they both agree on is that processed carbs are terrible for you.
00:39:32.120 So staying away from processed carbs and just eating real food, even if they both agree that
00:39:39.700 it should be real food.
00:39:40.960 So whether that's real meat or real vegetables, but it basically got to the idea.
00:39:45.520 I did not have the time to spend three years like Gary investigating whether the cholesterol
00:39:53.900 hypothesis was true.
00:39:55.960 Uh, and I think he's very smart, but for me in terms of health, I like to think of it
00:40:02.100 as almost like the, the rotten tomatoes model for deciding what's healthy.
00:40:07.820 Um, because you can always find an outlier who says bacon is good for you.
00:40:13.420 You should eat bacon three times.
00:40:14.860 So there are just so many quacks with great, uh, academic pedigree who will say the craziest
00:40:21.760 things.
00:40:22.400 So you've got to, you've got to look at the, the meta studies and the meta meta studies,
00:40:27.000 and you've got to.
00:40:28.480 So, so for me, it's looking at what a hundred reputable scientists say and sort of taking
00:40:34.320 the middle of what they say, the, the rotten tomatoes approach.
00:40:38.740 So if 80% say that, uh, it is, uh, it mostly plants, it has the most evidence now I'm going
00:40:47.580 to go with that.
00:40:50.200 It's quite humbling from a scientific perspective, how little consensus there is on some very basic
00:40:55.960 questions about diet.
00:40:57.120 So I had Gary on the podcast and it's amazing what happens when you touch this topic.
00:41:03.020 I thought I knew what it was to hit whatever third rail I hadn't yet hit as a topic of controversy,
00:41:09.540 but you know, now I get Gary's hate mail and it's, it's amazing how energized people are around.
00:41:16.440 So you're saying I should be prepared for.
00:41:18.820 I don't know how much, how hard it comes in the other direction.
00:41:22.120 I mean, the, the, there's a, a vegan mafia out there that will, uh, will hate you if you
00:41:27.440 dignify the claim that eating some meat is probably healthier than, than eating none.
00:41:33.600 I do want to define health because I do think there's a lot of evidence that a very low carb
00:41:39.500 diet, high protein diet will help you lose weight in a shorter period of time.
00:41:44.500 What I don't think that there's a lot of evidence on is that this will make your lifespan longer.
00:41:50.940 And since, uh, I'm, I'm married and sadly, I don't care as much about my waistline as I
00:41:56.960 should.
00:41:57.500 I'm more interested in the life lifespan, which I know is linked to obesity, but it's not the
00:42:02.660 same.
00:42:03.740 Yeah.
00:42:04.200 Yeah.
00:42:05.020 But it is amazing that the, I think the only totally uncontroversial statement about diet
00:42:11.140 that, that can be made now, the statement about which everyone will, uh, nod their head
00:42:19.620 in a scent is that eating less sugar is generally a good idea, right?
00:42:27.240 That no one, no one's advocating that you eat more sugar as in, you know, more food with
00:42:33.340 added sucrose.
00:42:34.920 And that's pretty much where consensus ends.
00:42:38.440 It's true.
00:42:40.100 Um, yeah, I mean, even salt is, uh, there's no clear consensus on that.
00:42:45.400 Yeah.
00:42:45.800 Yeah.
00:42:46.320 I will say in terms of diet, uh, I am very excited for clean meat and, uh, you know, lab
00:42:52.500 grown meat.
00:42:52.980 As am I.
00:42:53.580 I think that could be a huge game changer.
00:42:56.900 Ethically, that feels like the lever that would move the world if, if we can build it and,
00:43:02.760 and pull it hard enough because just to take suffering animals out of the equation entirely.
00:43:08.440 And yet allow everyone to eat meat if they want it, that would be huge.
00:43:12.920 Although I guess there is an interesting ethical wrinkle there where if you imagine that the
00:43:18.980 lives of farm animals or some class of farm animals are better than no life at all, right?
00:43:26.900 So if you imagine that it's possible to give farm animals, you know, even raised for slaughter
00:43:31.960 or raised to produce milk, if it's possible to give them lives worth living that are, you
00:43:37.300 know, better than not existing in the first place, well then canceling this industry by
00:43:42.680 finding some technological workaround to produce meat and, and milk without animals is a net
00:43:49.240 negative from that point of view.
00:43:50.940 But I would say that from what I understand, the life of the average industrial farmed animal
00:43:58.180 is not worth living, that the pain outweighs the pleasure.
00:44:02.160 So that if we are able to do cultured meat, then we can, sure, we can have a bunch of cows
00:44:09.200 having a wonderful life and outside of the factory farms.
00:44:14.780 So, um, I mean, I'm excited because it also opens up, you don't have to just eat cow meat
00:44:21.220 or chicken meat.
00:44:22.500 You can eat rhinoceros meat or any, uh, endangered species.
00:44:26.960 And I've even, uh, there's a friend of mine who wrote a book about this and there's talk
00:44:31.540 of ethical cannibalism.
00:44:33.460 Right, right.
00:44:34.140 I was going to suggest your next book topic could be the cannibal diet.
00:44:39.260 If anyone wants to eat me, I'm, I'm, listen, I am pleased to offer up my cells.
00:44:44.780 If we can recover some DNA from the shards of the cross, you can, you can eat the body
00:44:49.800 of Jesus for real.
00:44:51.120 There you go.
00:44:52.960 So is there anything that you are doing now that you weren't doing before that book?
00:44:57.340 If you'd like to continue listening to this conversation, you'll need to subscribe at
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00:45:24.260 Before we come back, to the fuhrough, let's have a great light.
00:45:28.000 Thank you.
00:45:28.360 Time to come back.
00:45:29.140 Thank you.
00:45:32.060 Thank you.
00:45:33.820 Take care.
00:45:34.280 Take care.
00:45:34.360 Take care.
00:45:36.080 Take care.
00:45:37.380 Bye.
00:45:37.820 So far.
00:45:38.240 Take care.
00:45:38.360 Bye.
00:45:38.380 Bye.
00:45:38.600 Bye.
00:45:39.640 And seven.
00:45:40.380 Bye.
00:45:41.060 Bye.
00:45:41.440 Bye.
00:45:42.320 Bye.
00:45:42.940 Bye.
00:45:43.040 Bye.
00:45:43.160 Bye.
00:45:44.760 None.
00:45:45.020 Bye.
00:45:45.180 Bye.
00:45:45.560 Bye.
00:45:46.280 Bye.
00:45:47.000 Bye.
00:45:47.600 Bye.
00:45:48.720 Bye.
00:45:49.660 Bye.
00:45:50.160 Bye.
00:45:50.860 Bye.
00:45:51.520 I'm.
00:45:52.060 win.