Making Sense - Sam Harris - September 23, 2022


#297 — Preparing for the End

Topics
preparing for death
Hosted by
Sam Harris
Mentioned
Shoshana Berger BJ Shosh Frank Osseseski T.J. Miller BJ Miller Christopher Hitchens Frances McDormand Daniel Dennett Jesse Strang Beginner Shosham Seneca
#296 — Repairing Our Country #298 — Leaving the Faith (Rebroadcast)

Episode Stats


Length

1 hour and 4 minutes

Words per minute

155.68

Word count

10,042

Sentence count

—

Harmful content

Misogyny

8

sentences flagged

Toxicity

38

sentences flagged

Hate speech

12

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

This week is the 4th anniversary of Waking Up, and I wanted to share a bit more about why I built the app in the first place. It seems to me that many of you in the Making Sense audience don t necessarily understand what I'm doing over there. While waking up is described as a meditation app, its purpose isn't to help you meditate, it's to help help you live a more fulfilling life altogether. The point is to close the gap between you and the person you seem to be in this moment. And the point of waking up isn t to merely know more, or to believe new things, but to live a life that is more fulfilling altogether. We don't run ads on the podcast, and therefore it's made possible entirely through the support of our listeners, who support what we're doing here. So if you enjoy what we re doing here, please consider becoming a supporter of the podcast. We ve always provided free membership to anyone who can afford it, and there s also a good chance that you can become a member of the MINDING MIND as a business which can grow a pretty simple course of membership. You can get access to all kinds of MIND-related perks, including a free membership and access to a lifetime of mentoring, as well as access to special ad-free courses, training, and a library of books, courses, and resources. If you like what you're reading, you'll need to become a MIND'SOMEthing, you can support the podcast by becoming a member, and you'll get a FREE membership in the making sense and access all sorts of perks, too! You'll get the chance to access to some of the best resources, including the latest and the most amazing resources, like the best ones in the world, like The Making Sense Podcasts making sense and much more. You get a chance to learn more about what it means to be part of a community of likeminded people who are making sense, and so much more! Make sense, make sense of it all, and learn how to live in a world where you can thrive now and thrive in a better place to thrive in the future, and live in the best way possible you'll benefit from it all so you can be a good thing make sense, too much so that you'll thrive now in making sense. -Sam Harris Sam Harris

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 welcome to the making sense podcast this is sam harris just a note to say that if you're hearing
00:00:12.500 this you are not currently on our subscriber feed and will only be hearing the first part
00:00:16.900 of this conversation in order to access full episodes of the making sense podcast you'll
00:00:21.800 need to subscribe at sam harris.org there you'll find our private rss feed to add to your favorite
00:00:27.020 podcatcher along with other subscriber only content we don't run ads on the podcast and
00:00:32.500 therefore it's made possible entirely through the support of our subscribers so if you enjoy what
00:00:36.680 we're doing here please consider becoming one
00:00:38.840 okay well this week is the fourth anniversary over at waking up and i wanted to share a bit more about
00:00:53.280 why i've decided to put so much attention over there to build the app in the first place seems
00:01:00.080 to me that many of you in the making sense audience don't necessarily understand what i'm doing over
00:01:04.720 there when i was a teenager after two people very close to me died i became interested in certain
00:01:14.560 esoteric questions like what is the nature of consciousness and what is a self and what's the
00:01:22.820 connection between the human mind and reality in the first place how is it possible to
00:01:27.620 understand reality and how should our answers to such questions inform how we live now these topics didn't just
00:01:36.880 interest me philosophically or scientifically i wanted to explore them directly through firsthand
00:01:42.660 experience which is to say i wasn't looking to merely know more or to believe new things i wanted to live
00:01:50.820 differently and all this culminated for me after my sophomore year in college when i dropped out of
00:01:57.720 school for what amounted to a full decade this was the late 80s and 90s and during that time i made many
00:02:04.820 trips to india and nepal where i got a chance to study with some of the greatest meditation teachers
00:02:09.660 alive at that point and i spent about two years on silent retreats ranging in length from one week to
00:02:16.920 three months i also read very widely in the literature of philosophy and religion and contemplative
00:02:23.940 spirituality both from the east and the west i also took psychedelics occasionally more so in the
00:02:31.540 beginning and all of this served to fundamentally change my perspective on what was possible for minds
00:02:39.580 like ours so i came out of these years of seeking a very different person and in many ways i found the
00:02:45.900 experiential answers i had been looking for but none of this amounted to making viable contact with the
00:02:52.460 world much less a career so eventually i went back to school where perhaps unsurprisingly i majored in
00:02:59.040 philosophy and because i was still fascinated by the core questions of the mind and its connection to
00:03:05.380 reality at large i then did a phd in neuroscience however just as i was beginning my doctoral research
00:03:11.880 studying belief disbelief and uncertainty using functional magnetic resonance imaging september 11th
00:03:18.620 happened and because i had spent the previous decade deeply immersed in religious literature
00:03:24.440 my concerns about the threat of fundamentalism were already very well formed it really didn't take me
00:03:32.260 more than 24 hours to figure out what we were dealing with and to anticipate how confused many smart
00:03:39.780 people would be by the problem of jihadism the truth is many are still confused by it so i stepped
00:03:47.720 away from my research at that point and published two books the end of faith and then letter to a
00:03:53.780 christian nation which dealt with the christian backlash to the end of faith in both of these books i argue
00:04:00.340 that faith and reason really are in conflict and that religion and science therefore are in perennial
00:04:06.440 conflict and together with the biologist richard dawkins and the philosopher daniel dennett and the
00:04:12.540 writer christopher hitchens i became known as a new atheist and as one of the four horsemen of a new wave of
00:04:19.040 opposition to organized religion and all this took some years to play out and the resulting skirmishes in the
00:04:27.100 culture war kept me away from my research for nearly four years however i've always been truly bored by
00:04:36.240 politics and most interested in those first questions that sent me to asia and into the silence of
00:04:42.360 retreat these questions about consciousness and the self and the nature of reality whether we can know
00:04:51.100 what is real ultimately for me these are not divorced from everyday concerns in fact they directly relate
00:04:58.460 to the most fundamental causes of human happiness and suffering and to the larger question of what it
00:05:03.660 means to live a good life and ironically they keep bringing me back to politics which happens a fair
00:05:09.740 amount on this podcast my main concern at this point is to figure out how we can all live together
00:05:16.860 so as to maximize the chance that humanity will thrive now and in the future so while waking up is
00:05:25.320 often described as a meditation app its purpose isn't just to help you meditate it's to help you live a more
00:05:31.020 examined and fulfilling life altogether the point is to help you close the gap between the person you
00:05:37.900 want to be and the person you seem to be in this moment now like this podcast waking up is run as a
00:05:44.860 subscription business however also like this podcast we've always provided free membership
00:05:49.780 to anyone who can't afford it you need only send an email to support at waking up.com to receive a free
00:05:55.900 year on the app and this can be repeated as many times as one needs our business philosophy is pretty
00:06:02.500 simple of course we want to grow as a company and build wonderful things but we never want money to be
00:06:08.740 the reason why someone can't benefit from our work we also give a minimum of 10 percent of our profits to
00:06:14.480 the most effective charities and this commitment to reducing suffering on other fronts has been
00:06:19.920 central to our mission from the beginning now perhaps you've tried meditation before and decided
00:06:25.200 it's not for you or you think all this talk about the nature of mind and the illusoriness of the self
00:06:30.480 is just new age mumbo-jumbo well okay but if you leave it there you really are shirking the challenge
00:06:40.940 i'm posing to you because my claim is that you have spent most of your life lost in thought that is
00:06:49.320 thinking without recognizing thought itself as a process and therefore not recognizing what the mind
00:06:55.500 is like prior to identification with thought and this status quo is the basis of all of your suffering
00:07:03.740 it's the mechanism by which disappointment and worry and regret and anger and sadness
00:07:11.660 color your life
00:07:13.380 it's the thing that makes you bad company for others
00:07:17.500 and for the important people in your life whom you ostensibly love 1.00
00:07:22.080 it's what makes you an asshole 1.00
00:07:25.020 when you are an asshole 1.00
00:07:26.960 and you are extraordinarily likely to spend the rest of your life in this condition unless you 1.00
00:07:34.340 look into the matter deeply and it's over at waking up that i most fully explore this terrain
00:07:41.340 so yet another pitch from me to look into it if you haven't and as chance would have it today's
00:07:49.160 conversation is about death and how to prepare for it in practical terms
00:07:53.620 now death is something i've thought a lot about
00:07:57.780 i've always had a sense that i think about it more than most people
00:08:01.160 certainly more than most people i know
00:08:03.560 i lost one of my best friends when i was 13
00:08:06.880 and my father died when i was 17
00:08:10.220 i don't think this is an unusual amount of exposure
00:08:13.660 to death
00:08:14.800 but for some reason these losses were very formative
00:08:18.560 for me
00:08:19.360 for as long as i can remember certainly since i was 13
00:08:22.880 i've thought about death many times a day
00:08:26.400 some of this thinking may have been morbid
00:08:28.800 but much of it's been useful
00:08:31.400 though i can't say i haven't wasted time
00:08:34.240 i don't have any important regrets at this point
00:08:37.700 in the last few years i've been keenly aware that i've outlived my father
00:08:42.920 he died at 51
00:08:44.760 and i've often recalled what it was like for him to live his last year of a life
00:08:49.260 interrupted by sickness and death
00:08:51.880 when i read or listen to authors or philosophers or scientists who i admire
00:08:57.800 i notice which ones are dead
00:08:59.860 and i notice what age they were when they lived their last day of life
00:09:04.140 and when i hear or read one of them say something about the future
00:09:07.980 i occasionally do a quick bit of math
00:09:10.540 and realize this was a future they never lived to see
00:09:13.900 i enjoy old films and photographs
00:09:17.760 but not merely for what their creators intended
00:09:21.220 i also view them as rather vivid obituaries to the people in them
00:09:26.060 so more and more i live with a sense of the finiteness of life
00:09:30.260 and it's making me wiser i think
00:09:32.980 i mean we work and travel
00:09:36.060 and eat and sleep
00:09:38.520 and dream
00:09:39.760 and we repeat these things
00:09:42.140 as though we might live forever
00:09:43.900 and yet one day we will die
00:09:46.340 there is something astonishing
00:09:50.120 about this
00:09:51.180 i really don't think i'm afraid to die
00:09:54.460 though perhaps i'm afraid of the chaos and pain and indignity
00:09:59.220 that might surround the process of dying
00:10:01.600 but as to the ultimate experience of finally surrendering my life in the world
00:10:06.720 i don't actually worry about that
00:10:08.880 and again i would credit my experience with meditation
00:10:11.600 and also with psychedelics for that
00:10:14.020 i do believe it's possible to run the loss of everything in emulation mode
00:10:19.740 before it actually happens
00:10:21.660 you might see my description of what it was like to take five grams of mushrooms
00:10:26.000 for more color there
00:10:27.740 however losing the people i love
00:10:31.680 is something that worries me
00:10:33.640 paradoxically it doesn't worry me that i will lose everyone when i die
00:10:37.740 i just worry that i could lose some very important people
00:10:40.580 while i still have many years yet to live
00:10:42.720 and i'm also aware that i have at least a few people in my life
00:10:46.320 who are very worried about losing me
00:10:48.240 so anticipated sorrow haunts our living
00:10:53.900 we know we're going to lose people
00:10:56.600 and we know that others we love will lose us
00:10:59.720 we know therefore we will be givers and receivers of grief
00:11:04.120 what a strange situation
00:11:07.560 so much of my interest in meditation derives from this
00:11:12.820 how can we live truly fulfilling lives in light of death
00:11:17.400 how can we prepare our minds to lose everything
00:11:21.420 well among other things
00:11:24.820 by learning what it means to not hold on to anything
00:11:29.000 what is it like to have a mind
00:11:31.960 that doesn't cling to memories
00:11:34.860 or to hopes for the future
00:11:37.040 or to experience itself
00:11:39.620 that is really the essence of meditation
00:11:43.120 meditation isn't in the end a practice
00:11:46.640 you add to your life
00:11:48.100 it is the discovery
00:11:50.060 of what it means
00:11:51.780 to not cling to experience
00:11:54.140 to identity
00:11:55.580 to a concept of a self
00:11:57.820 what is that experience like
00:12:01.160 it's doing less
00:12:03.040 rather than more
00:12:04.300 it is ceasing to do something
00:12:07.040 you're doing by tendency
00:12:08.900 right now
00:12:10.100 and if you can't find
00:12:12.360 that experience of freedom
00:12:13.880 now
00:12:14.720 it seems very unlikely that you'll find it
00:12:17.480 later
00:12:18.440 amid the great unraveling
00:12:21.040 at the end of life
00:12:22.240 anyway
00:12:23.880 today's conversation is a very practical discussion
00:12:26.200 about the unavoidable fact
00:12:28.300 that life ends
00:12:29.680 either you will die 0.80
00:12:31.660 and others will have to deal with the aftermath
00:12:33.660 or you will live long enough
00:12:35.820 to have to deal with the deaths
00:12:36.860 of the people you love
00:12:37.880 and then you will die 0.83
00:12:39.880 and there really is a fair amount
00:12:41.940 of practical wisdom
00:12:42.860 that can help you navigate this process
00:12:45.020 today I'm speaking with B.J. Miller
00:12:48.020 and Shoshana Berger
00:12:49.120 and they've written a very compassionate
00:12:50.980 and useful book
00:12:52.480 A Beginner's Guide to the End
00:12:54.800 Practical Advice for Living Life
00:12:57.260 and Facing Death
00:12:58.240 and as I emphasized several times
00:13:00.500 in this conversation
00:13:01.360 the conversation really isn't a surrogate
00:13:04.420 for reading the book
00:13:05.360 because there is a fair amount
00:13:06.820 of practical advice to give here
00:13:08.980 B.J. Miller is a hospice
00:13:11.100 and palliative medicine physician
00:13:12.660 who's worked in many different settings
00:13:15.140 and he now sees patients and families
00:13:17.500 at the UCSF
00:13:18.580 Helen Diller Family Comprehensive Cancer Center
00:13:21.220 he speaks all over the country
00:13:23.120 and internationally
00:13:24.360 on the theme of living well
00:13:26.380 in the face of death
00:13:27.260 and he's been profiled
00:13:28.820 in the New York Times
00:13:29.760 and elsewhere
00:13:31.120 Shoshana Berger
00:13:33.000 is the editorial director of IDEO
00:13:34.740 and she was a senior editor
00:13:36.640 at Wired
00:13:37.280 she's written for the New York Times
00:13:39.460 Fast Company
00:13:40.480 Time
00:13:41.260 Wired
00:13:41.900 Popular Science
00:13:43.520 and other journals
00:13:45.160 she's also the author 0.64
00:13:47.060 of another book
00:13:47.880 Readymade
00:13:48.960 How to Make Almost Everything
00:13:50.900 and today we talk about
00:13:53.180 preparing for death
00:13:54.720 we discuss the difference
00:13:56.600 between palliative care
00:13:58.080 and hospice
00:13:58.780 the tension between
00:14:00.580 getting the most out of life
00:14:01.920 and not clinging to experience
00:14:04.020 we talk about
00:14:05.760 planning for death
00:14:06.760 while still healthy
00:14:07.720 the importance of an advanced directive
00:14:10.160 navigating the healthcare system
00:14:12.440 pain control
00:14:13.840 at the end of life
00:14:14.720 assisted suicide
00:14:16.660 psychedelic therapy
00:14:18.520 for end of life anxiety
00:14:19.840 and other topics
00:14:21.460 again this is a subject
00:14:24.160 you might not want to think about
00:14:25.500 but I'm convinced
00:14:26.840 you'll be better off
00:14:27.660 if you do
00:14:28.260 and now I bring you
00:14:30.660 BJ Miller
00:14:31.500 and Shoshana Berger
00:14:32.660 I am here with BJ Miller
00:14:40.060 and Shoshana Berger
00:14:41.080 BJ, Shoshana
00:14:42.420 thanks for joining me
00:14:43.280 thanks for having us
00:14:44.720 thanks for having us Sam
00:14:45.500 so you have written
00:14:47.840 a wonderfully useful book
00:14:50.060 together
00:14:50.680 A Beginner's Guide to the End
00:14:52.220 Practical Advice for Living Life
00:14:54.240 and Facing Death
00:14:55.220 but it will not be without
00:14:57.160 trepidation
00:14:58.120 that most people pick up
00:14:59.260 such a volume
00:15:00.740 and I want us to just
00:15:03.040 get into
00:15:03.900 really everything
00:15:05.580 relevant here
00:15:06.780 I mean there's no way
00:15:07.680 this conversation
00:15:08.460 will be a surrogate 0.96
00:15:09.760 for reading your book
00:15:10.540 because your book
00:15:11.380 is filled with
00:15:12.180 practical advice
00:15:13.600 that really is better read
00:15:15.680 than listened to
00:15:16.880 in terms of
00:15:17.980 the kind of
00:15:18.560 checklist advice
00:15:19.840 one can have
00:15:20.880 for people facing
00:15:23.180 terminal illness
00:15:23.940 or going through
00:15:25.260 the experience
00:15:25.800 of having a loved one
00:15:27.140 face it
00:15:27.800 so we'll touch on
00:15:28.940 some of that
00:15:29.600 and anything that
00:15:30.700 seems super important
00:15:32.360 feel free to
00:15:33.940 interject it
00:15:34.760 but it's just a note
00:15:36.080 to listeners
00:15:36.580 that there's more
00:15:37.600 in the book
00:15:38.000 of practical significance
00:15:39.600 than we will cover here
00:15:41.240 but before we jump
00:15:42.500 into the topic
00:15:43.260 perhaps each of you
00:15:44.520 can tell me
00:15:45.860 how you came to
00:15:47.260 focus on
00:15:48.340 death and dying
00:15:49.700 professionally
00:15:50.880 to this degree
00:15:51.940 how is that
00:15:52.960 most people
00:15:53.580 think about death
00:15:54.980 but you two
00:15:56.180 have gone
00:15:56.660 all in
00:15:57.420 maybe BJ
00:15:58.380 we can start with you
00:15:59.660 how did you come
00:16:00.380 to this topic
00:16:00.960 yeah
00:16:01.880 a couple different ways
00:16:03.340 Sam
00:16:03.680 professionally
00:16:04.680 well
00:16:04.960 I don't know
00:16:05.720 personally professionally
00:16:06.560 kind of came
00:16:07.320 kind of co-evolved
00:16:09.220 you know
00:16:09.760 for me
00:16:10.220 a lot of it
00:16:10.960 starts with
00:16:11.980 my own injuries
00:16:14.040 when I was 19
00:16:15.540 you know
00:16:15.920 sophomore in college
00:16:16.940 that's when I came
00:16:17.880 very close to death
00:16:18.900 myself
00:16:19.440 and that
00:16:21.140 you know
00:16:22.560 was a real
00:16:23.020 wake up
00:16:23.640 call
00:16:24.300 as you can imagine
00:16:25.120 to take life
00:16:26.840 well
00:16:27.600 as I say
00:16:28.540 take life seriously
00:16:29.380 but also playfully
00:16:31.140 take you know
00:16:31.680 but really get into
00:16:33.100 this thing
00:16:33.540 while I have it
00:16:34.320 it might be worth
00:16:35.320 telling that story
00:16:36.260 however
00:16:36.720 briefly you want to
00:16:37.960 because it's
00:16:38.760 you know
00:16:39.040 people
00:16:39.320 might imagine
00:16:40.900 that you were
00:16:41.400 playing football
00:16:42.180 and got a concussion
00:16:43.440 or something
00:16:44.660 more prosaic
00:16:45.500 but you
00:16:45.880 you had a fairly
00:16:46.620 spectacular encounter
00:16:47.700 with mortality
00:16:48.580 or near mortality
00:16:49.740 I did
00:16:51.200 but
00:16:51.400 I'm chuckling
00:16:52.860 because you reminded me
00:16:53.920 of a moment
00:16:54.860 at a restaurant
00:16:55.720 long ago
00:16:56.760 when I was wearing
00:16:57.360 shorts
00:16:57.800 so I'm a triple amputee
00:16:59.280 guys
00:16:59.580 I'll tell that story
00:17:01.260 in a second 0.78
00:17:01.660 but
00:17:02.100 very sweet
00:17:04.420 ancient woman 0.83
00:17:05.980 approached me
00:17:06.720 in a restaurant
00:17:07.220 and tapped me
00:17:08.120 in the shoulder
00:17:08.780 and said
00:17:09.460 football injury
00:17:11.020 and
00:17:11.780 I've never
00:17:13.320 I didn't know
00:17:14.640 how to answer that
00:17:15.200 but anyway
00:17:15.500 so yeah
00:17:16.160 when I was 19
00:17:17.120 I was just
00:17:18.660 horsing around 1.00
00:17:19.220 with friends
00:17:19.720 and
00:17:20.140 there was a
00:17:21.420 parked commuter train
00:17:22.520 just on the edge
00:17:23.460 of campus
00:17:23.940 sitting there
00:17:24.580 not moving
00:17:25.300 not you know
00:17:25.900 just sitting there
00:17:26.640 and we decided
00:17:27.640 to climb it
00:17:28.180 like you'd climb
00:17:28.800 a tree
00:17:29.200 just kind of
00:17:29.900 being
00:17:30.180 sophomores
00:17:31.700 sophomoric
00:17:32.680 and
00:17:33.460 the power lines
00:17:34.880 run overhead
00:17:35.520 and when I stood up
00:17:37.200 I had a metal watch
00:17:38.600 on my left wrist
00:17:39.760 and the electricity
00:17:40.880 arc to the watch
00:17:42.940 and
00:17:44.100 a big explosion
00:17:45.940 and
00:17:46.300 you know
00:17:47.020 I was in and out
00:17:47.720 of
00:17:47.920 I was close to death
00:17:49.160 in the burn unit
00:17:49.860 there in New Jersey
00:17:50.660 for you know
00:17:51.460 maybe six weeks
00:17:52.400 or so
00:17:52.900 in there a total
00:17:54.020 of three months
00:17:54.700 or so
00:17:55.080 but
00:17:55.300 survived
00:17:56.680 hello
00:17:57.300 but ended up
00:17:58.340 losing both legs
00:17:59.540 below the knee
00:18:00.220 and my left arm
00:18:01.260 below the elbow
00:18:01.900 so
00:18:03.360 yeah
00:18:03.740 it was a pretty
00:18:04.220 spectacular moment
00:18:05.320 that
00:18:05.620 was a real
00:18:06.780 you can imagine
00:18:07.580 real crossroads
00:18:08.240 in my life
00:18:08.840 that led me
00:18:09.700 into medicine
00:18:10.320 and
00:18:11.240 an interest
00:18:12.040 in life
00:18:12.980 that included
00:18:13.860 death
00:18:14.280 an interest
00:18:15.500 in life
00:18:15.880 that included
00:18:16.360 loss
00:18:16.820 and suffering
00:18:17.460 as well as
00:18:18.540 joys
00:18:19.000 and
00:18:19.260 immutability
00:18:20.760 and change
00:18:22.000 so
00:18:22.420 that was
00:18:23.460 very much
00:18:24.160 my entree
00:18:24.640 that took me
00:18:25.580 into medicine
00:18:26.320 at first
00:18:27.300 I was going to do
00:18:27.780 rehab medicine
00:18:28.680 disability
00:18:29.400 was the thing
00:18:30.120 that I kind of
00:18:30.700 walked away
00:18:31.100 most interested
00:18:31.940 in
00:18:32.140 what do
00:18:32.900 human beings
00:18:33.600 do when they
00:18:34.080 bump up
00:18:34.560 against things
00:18:35.180 they can't
00:18:35.920 change
00:18:36.520 or can't
00:18:37.160 control
00:18:37.680 and that was
00:18:39.040 really the nugget
00:18:39.700 for me
00:18:40.240 and from there
00:18:41.200 it was also
00:18:41.840 entwined with
00:18:42.620 death
00:18:43.340 but as I kind of
00:18:44.760 got into it
00:18:45.440 more and more
00:18:46.100 suffering death
00:18:47.300 wanting to change
00:18:48.560 not wanting to
00:18:49.680 change
00:18:50.100 that whole stew
00:18:51.160 kind of begat
00:18:52.600 palliative medicine
00:18:54.020 that took me
00:18:54.740 into hospice
00:18:55.640 and palliative medicine
00:18:56.400 and from there
00:18:57.220 death became
00:18:58.580 front and center
00:18:59.640 with a lot of
00:19:00.200 the hospice work
00:19:01.060 but even for
00:19:02.460 patients who had
00:19:03.400 plenty of life
00:19:04.100 left
00:19:04.500 I was noticing
00:19:05.760 that death
00:19:06.540 either metaphorical
00:19:08.060 death
00:19:08.360 or you know
00:19:09.040 physical death
00:19:09.940 it could be
00:19:11.560 this great
00:19:12.120 prompt
00:19:12.700 this great
00:19:13.820 foil
00:19:14.400 and so
00:19:15.700 that is
00:19:16.360 when I really
00:19:16.840 began to work
00:19:17.500 with it
00:19:17.840 professionally
00:19:18.400 to mirror
00:19:19.680 what I was
00:19:20.060 doing personally
00:19:20.780 so anyway
00:19:22.000 I don't know
00:19:22.680 how short
00:19:23.060 that was
00:19:23.520 but that's
00:19:23.920 the gist
00:19:24.280 of how I
00:19:24.740 got into
00:19:25.200 this subject
00:19:26.000 and
00:19:27.060 Shoshana
00:19:28.340 how did you
00:19:28.880 come to this
00:19:29.540 so it started
00:19:30.840 as a very
00:19:31.680 personal
00:19:32.320 issue for me
00:19:33.560 I had
00:19:34.240 a lot of
00:19:35.280 exposure to
00:19:36.120 death
00:19:36.560 pretty early
00:19:37.620 on in life
00:19:38.440 my college
00:19:40.000 roommate
00:19:40.580 OD'd
00:19:41.640 and I've
00:19:42.400 had actually
00:19:43.020 two
00:19:44.120 boyfriends
00:19:45.300 die of the
00:19:45.880 same cancer
00:19:46.580 which is
00:19:47.160 very odd
00:19:48.300 and then
00:19:49.520 the kind
00:19:51.080 of
00:19:51.360 critical
00:19:52.320 death
00:19:52.640 for me
00:19:52.960 was my
00:19:53.420 father's
00:19:54.040 death
00:19:54.360 and
00:19:54.740 I met
00:19:55.740 BJ
00:19:56.140 just after
00:19:57.760 that
00:19:58.120 and that's
00:19:58.580 when it
00:19:58.820 became
00:19:59.120 professional
00:19:59.680 so we
00:20:00.200 actually
00:20:00.500 we met
00:20:01.140 at IDEO
00:20:01.800 the global
00:20:02.340 design
00:20:02.740 company
00:20:03.120 where I
00:20:03.460 work
00:20:03.860 at the
00:20:04.820 time
00:20:05.100 BJ
00:20:05.360 was the
00:20:06.100 executive
00:20:06.640 director
00:20:07.120 of the
00:20:07.500 Zen
00:20:07.660 Hospice
00:20:08.260 which is
00:20:08.780 this
00:20:09.400 beautiful
00:20:09.800 residential
00:20:10.360 hospice
00:20:10.920 located
00:20:11.440 it used
00:20:11.860 to be
00:20:12.100 located
00:20:12.440 in a
00:20:12.800 Victorian
00:20:13.220 house
00:20:13.580 in San
00:20:13.940 Francisco
00:20:14.360 where
00:20:15.620 people
00:20:15.980 came
00:20:16.380 for
00:20:16.760 comfort
00:20:17.240 and care
00:20:17.860 at the
00:20:18.160 end
00:20:18.280 of
00:20:18.420 life
00:20:18.800 and
00:20:19.860 as
00:20:20.480 you
00:20:20.620 may
00:20:20.780 know
00:20:21.160 Sam
00:20:21.600 hospice
00:20:22.180 carries
00:20:22.740 an
00:20:23.120 unfortunate
00:20:24.120 stigma
00:20:24.860 many
00:20:25.940 people
00:20:26.220 actually
00:20:26.720 consider
00:20:27.280 it
00:20:27.460 to be
00:20:27.700 a
00:20:27.820 kind
00:20:28.000 of
00:20:28.100 death
00:20:28.340 sentence
00:20:28.800 so
00:20:29.960 BJ
00:20:30.580 and
00:20:30.960 his
00:20:31.120 team
00:20:31.340 came
00:20:31.660 to
00:20:31.820 IDEO
00:20:32.120 hoping
00:20:32.380 we
00:20:32.560 could
00:20:32.700 find
00:20:33.020 a
00:20:33.360 creative
00:20:34.020 way
00:20:34.520 to
00:20:34.860 recast
00:20:35.740 or
00:20:36.100 effectively
00:20:37.160 rebrand
00:20:37.960 hospice
00:20:38.660 in a
00:20:39.100 way
00:20:39.240 that
00:20:39.420 would
00:20:39.620 communicate
00:20:40.120 its
00:20:40.460 value
00:20:40.980 because
00:20:41.740 it's
00:20:42.020 really
00:20:42.620 the
00:20:42.840 most
00:20:43.060 holistic
00:20:43.720 palliative
00:20:45.240 and
00:20:45.860 free
00:20:46.440 suite
00:20:46.860 of
00:20:47.020 care
00:20:47.360 you can
00:20:47.980 opt
00:20:48.220 for
00:20:48.460 at
00:20:48.600 the
00:20:48.700 end
00:20:48.820 of
00:20:48.960 life
00:20:49.300 and
00:20:50.180 so
00:20:50.540 when
00:20:50.800 the
00:20:51.020 designers
00:20:51.440 at
00:20:51.620 IDEO
00:20:51.880 caught
00:20:52.120 wind
00:20:52.300 that
00:20:52.420 we'd
00:20:52.580 be
00:20:52.700 working
00:20:52.960 on
00:20:53.260 designing
00:20:53.620 the
00:20:53.780 end
00:20:53.900 of
00:20:54.020 life
00:20:54.280 experience
00:20:54.760 they
00:20:54.960 were
00:20:55.140 so
00:20:55.520 excited
00:20:55.880 about
00:20:56.140 working
00:20:56.480 on
00:20:56.720 something
00:20:57.240 that
00:20:58.260 was
00:20:58.440 so
00:20:58.660 consequential
00:20:59.540 and
00:20:59.960 so
00:21:00.200 poorly
00:21:00.600 designed
00:21:01.340 in
00:21:02.200 American
00:21:02.540 in
00:21:03.100 American
00:21:03.440 largely
00:21:03.580 because
00:21:03.900 we
00:21:04.120 live
00:21:04.560 in
00:21:05.020 denial
00:21:05.580 of
00:21:05.860 our
00:21:05.980 own
00:21:06.160 mortality
00:21:06.640 and
00:21:07.080 do
00:21:07.360 everything
00:21:07.820 we
00:21:08.060 can
00:21:08.280 to
00:21:08.420 avoid
00:21:08.700 thinking
00:21:09.020 about
00:21:09.320 it
00:21:09.540 so
00:21:10.420 this
00:21:11.400 idea
00:21:11.740 of
00:21:12.040 designing
00:21:12.460 quite
00:21:12.760 literally
00:21:13.260 life
00:21:14.500 and
00:21:14.720 death
00:21:14.960 was
00:21:15.240 extremely
00:21:15.800 exciting
00:21:16.260 and
00:21:16.620 everyone
00:21:17.500 wanted
00:21:17.800 to work
00:21:18.160 on it
00:21:18.960 designers
00:21:19.860 were throwing
00:21:20.400 themselves
00:21:20.780 into
00:21:21.000 the
00:21:21.160 volcano
00:21:21.520 and
00:21:22.400 I
00:21:23.240 ended
00:21:23.420 up
00:21:23.600 on
00:21:23.700 a
00:21:23.820 small
00:21:24.040 team
00:21:24.620 we
00:21:25.220 created
00:21:25.600 this
00:21:25.940 kickoff
00:21:26.380 meeting
00:21:26.880 to
00:21:27.760 invite
00:21:28.240 BJ
00:21:28.580 in
00:21:29.480 where
00:21:30.560 we
00:21:30.760 actually
00:21:31.020 built
00:21:31.320 this
00:21:31.580 tunnel
00:21:32.080 that
00:21:32.560 led
00:21:33.020 from
00:21:33.340 our
00:21:33.600 office
00:21:34.040 entrance
00:21:34.560 on
00:21:34.860 the
00:21:35.000 pier
00:21:35.360 at
00:21:36.100 the
00:21:36.240 bay
00:21:36.520 in
00:21:36.740 San
00:21:36.900 Francisco
00:21:37.320 to
00:21:37.780 this
00:21:38.020 dome
00:21:38.360 like
00:21:38.600 structure
00:21:39.160 built
00:21:39.900 a
00:21:40.080 small
00:21:40.900 group
00:21:41.420 just
00:21:41.680 sitting
00:21:41.900 in
00:21:42.040 the
00:21:42.140 round
00:21:42.460 and
00:21:43.300 internally
00:21:44.000 that
00:21:44.320 meeting
00:21:44.620 space
00:21:44.920 became
00:21:45.300 known
00:21:45.620 as
00:21:45.820 the
00:21:46.100 death
00:21:46.340 yurt
00:21:46.720 and
00:21:47.880 on
00:21:48.420 that
00:21:48.680 first
00:21:49.160 day
00:21:49.720 when
00:21:50.060 we
00:21:50.200 met
00:21:50.420 BJ
00:21:50.760 we
00:21:51.860 led
00:21:52.180 him
00:21:52.400 in
00:21:52.720 through
00:21:52.900 this
00:21:53.100 liminal
00:21:53.880 tunnel
00:21:54.400 this
00:21:55.180 passageway
00:21:55.860 that
00:21:56.060 terminated
00:21:56.540 in
00:21:56.760 this
00:21:56.960 candlelit
00:21:57.460 dome
00:21:57.800 and
00:21:59.180 it
00:21:59.280 had
00:21:59.420 a
00:21:59.560 transparent
00:22:00.040 top
00:22:00.640 and
00:22:00.780 it
00:22:00.920 caught
00:22:01.140 the
00:22:01.340 flickering
00:22:01.800 shadows
00:22:02.300 of
00:22:02.620 the
00:22:02.820 candle
00:22:03.160 light
00:22:03.540 and
00:22:03.760 we
00:22:03.980 just
00:22:04.300 wanted
00:22:04.520 to
00:22:04.720 create
00:22:05.040 an
00:22:05.260 intimate
00:22:05.660 safe
00:22:06.340 inner
00:22:06.780 sanctum
00:22:07.260 for
00:22:07.540 this
00:22:07.740 conversation
00:22:08.340 there
00:22:09.600 were
00:22:09.700 10
00:22:09.880 of
00:22:10.000 us
00:22:10.140 there
00:22:10.480 and
00:22:11.120 our
00:22:11.420 assignment
00:22:11.800 was
00:22:12.040 to
00:22:12.180 come
00:22:12.360 ready
00:22:12.600 to
00:22:12.780 talk
00:22:13.040 about
00:22:13.300 how
00:22:13.580 we
00:22:13.900 design
00:22:14.460 our
00:22:14.680 final
00:22:15.100 moments
00:22:15.600 on
00:22:15.800 earth
00:22:16.080 so
00:22:17.180 we
00:22:17.660 started
00:22:18.100 going
00:22:18.540 around
00:22:18.820 the
00:22:19.020 room
00:22:19.320 and
00:22:20.100 each
00:22:20.520 person
00:22:21.100 painted
00:22:22.540 a
00:22:22.940 more
00:22:23.180 opulent
00:22:23.840 picture
00:22:24.580 than
00:22:24.920 the
00:22:25.080 last
00:22:25.500 of
00:22:25.720 what
00:22:26.040 their
00:22:26.240 final
00:22:26.560 moments
00:22:26.980 might
00:22:27.380 look
00:22:27.640 like
00:22:27.980 alone
00:22:29.180 at
00:22:29.460 the
00:22:29.560 top
00:22:29.780 of
00:22:29.920 a
00:22:30.080 mountain
00:22:30.400 or
00:22:30.940 being
00:22:31.260 surrounded
00:22:31.780 by
00:22:32.040 all
00:22:32.180 your
00:22:32.300 friends
00:22:32.680 and
00:22:32.860 family
00:22:33.260 but
00:22:33.760 in
00:22:33.900 a
00:22:34.040 forest
00:22:34.520 or
00:22:35.520 assembling
00:22:36.620 your
00:22:37.040 perfect
00:22:37.520 curated
00:22:38.140 death
00:22:38.640 playlist
00:22:39.440 and
00:22:41.160 I
00:22:42.200 remember
00:22:42.500 I was
00:22:42.820 dreading
00:22:43.220 my
00:22:43.440 turn
00:22:43.800 because
00:22:44.180 I
00:22:44.700 was
00:22:45.040 fresh
00:22:45.460 off
00:22:45.700 of
00:22:45.820 my
00:22:46.000 father's
00:22:46.500 death
00:22:46.820 just
00:22:47.060 three
00:22:47.280 months
00:22:47.500 before
00:22:47.940 and
00:22:48.200 I
00:22:48.320 just
00:22:48.860 started
00:22:49.220 at
00:22:49.440 IDO
00:22:49.980 and
00:22:51.040 I
00:22:51.140 wanted
00:22:51.380 to
00:22:51.620 join
00:22:51.920 this
00:22:52.140 rapture
00:22:52.940 but
00:22:53.740 I
00:22:54.320 witnessed
00:22:55.060 my
00:22:55.640 father's
00:22:56.100 death
00:22:56.340 as
00:22:56.620 something
00:22:57.040 so
00:22:57.620 quiet
00:22:58.900 and
00:22:59.380 something
00:23:00.000 that
00:23:00.220 didn't
00:23:00.500 remotely
00:23:01.000 resemble
00:23:01.560 any
00:23:01.860 of
00:23:02.000 these
00:23:02.200 lofty
00:23:02.640 visions
00:23:02.960 I
00:23:03.240 mean
00:23:03.340 my
00:23:03.520 father
00:23:03.840 suffered
00:23:04.700 with
00:23:04.920 dementia
00:23:05.360 and
00:23:05.940 depression
00:23:06.480 for
00:23:06.880 many
00:23:07.080 years
00:23:07.560 and
00:23:08.400 he
00:23:08.540 did
00:23:08.700 not
00:23:08.940 have
00:23:09.140 an
00:23:09.260 easy 0.86
00:23:09.520 death 0.62
00:23:10.020 and
00:23:10.680 by
00:23:10.820 the
00:23:10.980 time
00:23:11.160 we
00:23:11.280 got
00:23:11.460 him
00:23:11.600 on
00:23:11.720 hospice
00:23:12.300 he
00:23:12.520 was
00:23:14.080 mostly
00:23:14.440 unconscious
00:23:14.940 he
00:23:15.580 hadn't
00:23:16.160 uttered
00:23:16.520 an
00:23:16.640 intelligible
00:23:17.200 word
00:23:17.680 for
00:23:17.920 a
00:23:18.100 year
00:23:18.400 and
00:23:19.520 my
00:23:19.720 last
00:23:19.960 moments
00:23:20.240 with
00:23:20.520 him
00:23:20.780 were
00:23:21.120 you
00:23:21.640 know
00:23:21.860 as
00:23:22.960 I
00:23:23.940 would
00:23:24.100 imagine
00:23:24.980 many
00:23:25.360 last
00:23:25.740 moments
00:23:26.160 with
00:23:26.400 loved
00:23:26.620 ones
00:23:26.900 are
00:23:27.100 just
00:23:27.320 very
00:23:27.600 quietly
00:23:28.080 by
00:23:29.140 the
00:23:29.280 bedside
00:23:29.740 stroking
00:23:30.180 his
00:23:30.380 forehead
00:23:30.760 and
00:23:31.220 wetting
00:23:31.800 his
00:23:32.020 lips
00:23:32.300 with 0.95
00:23:32.480 a
00:23:32.640 sponge
00:23:33.020 and
00:23:33.520 whispering
00:23:33.980 that
00:23:34.200 I
00:23:34.340 loved
00:23:34.600 him
00:23:34.960 and
00:23:35.280 scrambling 0.89
00:23:36.620 to find
00:23:37.180 a
00:23:37.480 CD
00:23:38.380 of
00:23:38.700 Yiddish
00:23:39.020 music
00:23:39.720 because
00:23:40.240 I
00:23:40.480 knew
00:23:40.640 those
00:23:40.940 were
00:23:41.120 the
00:23:41.360 beloved
00:23:41.720 songs
00:23:42.160 of his
00:23:42.480 childhood
00:23:42.840 and
00:23:43.680 that
00:23:43.880 hearing
00:23:44.480 is the
00:23:44.880 last
00:23:45.160 sense
00:23:45.520 that
00:23:45.820 you
00:23:46.220 lose
00:23:46.760 hoping
00:23:47.180 that
00:23:47.400 he
00:23:47.500 would
00:23:47.660 hear
00:23:47.860 that
00:23:48.180 so
00:23:49.300 anyway
00:23:49.500 I
00:23:49.620 was
00:23:51.640 with
00:23:51.880 this
00:23:52.160 exercise
00:23:52.640 that
00:23:52.940 we
00:23:53.060 designed
00:23:53.440 for
00:23:53.660 kicking
00:23:53.940 off
00:23:54.180 this
00:23:54.360 work
00:23:54.660 with
00:23:54.840 BJ
00:23:55.180 and
00:23:55.500 the
00:23:55.640 Zen
00:23:55.760 Hospice
00:23:56.320 but
00:23:57.060 my
00:23:57.500 father's
00:23:58.060 experience
00:23:58.480 felt so
00:23:59.100 undesigned
00:23:59.840 and so
00:24:00.260 over
00:24:00.720 medicalized
00:24:01.580 and in
00:24:02.260 many ways
00:24:02.800 quite
00:24:03.420 inhumane
00:24:04.180 and so
00:24:05.120 when my
00:24:05.460 turn
00:24:05.800 came
00:24:06.120 I
00:24:06.280 just
00:24:06.480 said
00:24:07.120 as
00:24:07.320 much
00:24:07.620 and
00:24:07.780 I
00:24:07.980 broke
00:24:08.360 into
00:24:08.600 tears
00:24:09.000 and I
00:24:09.320 remember
00:24:09.680 BJ
00:24:10.040 was
00:24:10.320 sitting
00:24:10.600 across
00:24:11.000 the
00:24:11.240 room
00:24:11.420 from
00:24:11.660 me
00:24:11.940 and
00:24:12.860 locked
00:24:13.200 eyes
00:24:13.620 with
00:24:13.900 me
00:24:14.280 and
00:24:15.600 I
00:24:15.760 knew
00:24:16.080 that
00:24:16.480 he
00:24:16.720 understood
00:24:17.260 as a
00:24:18.520 palliative
00:24:18.820 care
00:24:19.060 physician
00:24:19.440 whose
00:24:20.160 work
00:24:20.520 is to
00:24:20.860 usher
00:24:21.160 people
00:24:21.560 through
00:24:21.860 this
00:24:22.140 human
00:24:22.500 condition
00:24:23.080 of
00:24:23.700 suffering
00:24:24.360 he
00:24:25.340 knew
00:24:26.020 that
00:24:26.520 that's
00:24:27.740 what
00:24:27.940 death
00:24:28.200 looks
00:24:28.480 like
00:24:28.760 and
00:24:28.880 it
00:24:29.040 looks
00:24:29.340 nothing
00:24:29.680 like
00:24:29.980 what
00:24:30.180 we
00:24:30.340 see
00:24:30.520 on
00:24:30.700 TV
00:24:30.960 and
00:24:31.320 it
00:24:31.640 often
00:24:33.180 happens
00:24:33.600 in an
00:24:33.880 ICU
00:24:34.280 and
00:24:34.820 in a
00:24:35.420 clinical
00:24:35.940 setting
00:24:36.420 so
00:24:37.420 anyway
00:24:37.660 I came
00:24:38.080 to
00:24:38.220 understand
00:24:38.640 that
00:24:38.880 designing
00:24:39.260 one's
00:24:39.600 life
00:24:39.900 and
00:24:40.160 death
00:24:40.440 doesn't
00:24:41.280 mean
00:24:41.420 that
00:24:41.540 you
00:24:41.640 can
00:24:41.800 really
00:24:42.020 control
00:24:42.420 it
00:24:42.620 it
00:24:42.740 means
00:24:42.940 that
00:24:43.060 you
00:24:43.160 can
00:24:43.300 come
00:24:43.500 up
00:24:43.680 with
00:24:43.840 some
00:24:44.080 principles
00:24:44.680 for
00:24:45.540 how
00:24:45.920 to
00:24:46.040 be
00:24:46.180 true
00:24:46.440 to
00:24:46.600 how
00:24:46.740 you
00:24:46.880 want
00:24:47.040 to
00:24:47.160 live
00:24:47.500 well
00:24:49.100 so
00:24:49.260 you've
00:24:49.620 introduced
00:24:49.920 a couple
00:24:50.460 of
00:24:50.900 terms
00:24:52.240 here
00:24:52.600 and
00:24:53.640 also
00:24:53.920 a
00:24:54.340 stigma
00:24:55.520 associated
00:24:56.120 with
00:24:56.460 one
00:24:56.860 of
00:24:56.980 them
00:24:57.100 perhaps
00:24:57.360 we
00:24:57.520 can
00:24:57.760 explain
00:24:59.000 this
00:25:00.080 state
00:25:00.760 of
00:25:00.860 affairs
00:25:01.160 so
00:25:01.560 BJ
00:25:02.380 can
00:25:02.600 you
00:25:02.720 differentiate
00:25:03.140 palliative
00:25:04.160 care
00:25:04.520 from
00:25:04.900 hospice
00:25:05.620 and
00:25:06.420 either
00:25:07.300 one
00:25:07.480 of
00:25:07.580 you
00:25:07.680 can
00:25:07.880 tell
00:25:08.720 us
00:25:08.880 why
00:25:09.360 there
00:25:10.060 is
00:25:10.260 such
00:25:10.480 a
00:25:10.740 gravity
00:25:11.820 to
00:25:12.480 invoking
00:25:13.640 hospice
00:25:14.600 care
00:25:14.900 and
00:25:15.440 you
00:25:16.140 know
00:25:16.260 how
00:25:16.460 we
00:25:16.920 should
00:25:17.140 think
00:25:17.640 about
00:25:17.840 that
00:25:18.120 yeah
00:25:18.820 sure
00:25:19.380 and
00:25:19.900 shosh 0.97
00:25:20.120 maybe
00:25:20.340 I'll
00:25:21.180 define
00:25:21.580 some
00:25:21.780 of
00:25:21.820 these
00:25:21.960 things
00:25:22.240 and
00:25:22.520 yeah
00:25:23.060 I'll
00:25:23.260 leave
00:25:23.400 it
00:25:23.520 to
00:25:23.640 you
00:25:23.740 to
00:25:23.880 help
00:25:24.960 us
00:25:25.220 understand
00:25:25.700 how
00:25:25.940 they
00:25:26.100 land
00:25:26.420 with
00:25:26.600 the
00:25:26.760 public
00:25:27.140 we've
00:25:27.580 been
00:25:27.740 wrestling
00:25:28.560 with
00:25:28.860 I mean
00:25:29.180 palliative
00:25:31.060 care
00:25:31.360 it gets
00:25:32.360 so
00:25:32.840 confusing
00:25:33.640 Sam
00:25:34.140 and I
00:25:34.340 really
00:25:34.480 appreciate
00:25:34.880 your
00:25:35.080 question
00:25:35.480 I mean
00:25:35.740 people
00:25:36.060 within
00:25:36.440 medicine
00:25:36.820 get
00:25:37.100 confused
00:25:37.560 about
00:25:37.820 what
00:25:38.000 the heck
00:25:38.260 palliative
00:25:38.580 care
00:25:38.860 is
00:25:39.080 so
00:25:39.260 it's
00:25:39.480 really
00:25:39.740 important
00:25:40.660 so
00:25:41.840 hospice
00:25:43.320 came
00:25:43.680 first
00:25:44.080 it's
00:25:44.300 an
00:25:44.440 ancient
00:25:44.720 idea
00:25:45.220 really
00:25:45.980 took
00:25:46.260 off
00:25:46.560 in
00:25:46.760 modern
00:25:47.040 terms
00:25:47.420 in
00:25:47.580 the
00:25:47.720 UK
00:25:47.960 in
00:25:48.180 the
00:25:48.320 60s
00:25:48.780 came
00:25:49.040 to
00:25:49.180 the
00:25:49.320 US
00:25:49.660 in
00:25:49.840 the
00:25:50.040 70s
00:25:50.580 and
00:25:50.680 80s
00:25:51.180 as a
00:25:51.520 sort
00:25:51.840 of
00:25:51.920 a
00:25:52.040 non-medical
00:25:52.780 largely
00:25:53.220 volunteer
00:25:54.000 approach
00:25:54.940 to care
00:25:55.480 and it
00:25:56.260 was very
00:25:56.520 beautiful
00:25:56.940 and in
00:25:58.220 the 80s
00:25:58.840 Medicare
00:25:59.280 got in
00:25:59.740 the business
00:26:00.120 and started
00:26:00.560 paying for
00:26:01.120 it in a
00:26:01.400 novel
00:26:01.660 way
00:26:02.040 and you
00:26:03.180 tell me
00:26:03.580 Sam
00:26:03.780 we can
00:26:04.060 take
00:26:04.280 any
00:26:04.440 little
00:26:04.660 tributaries
00:26:05.260 on
00:26:05.480 policy
00:26:05.960 fronts
00:26:06.320 or
00:26:06.460 whatever
00:26:06.660 else
00:26:06.980 along
00:26:07.220 the way
00:26:07.500 here
00:26:07.700 but
00:26:07.980 since the
00:26:09.220 80s
00:26:09.700 hospice
00:26:10.280 became
00:26:10.840 an
00:26:11.180 insurance
00:26:11.680 benefit
00:26:12.200 so that's
00:26:13.160 how we
00:26:13.380 say
00:26:13.520 we're
00:26:13.740 on
00:26:14.060 hospice
00:26:14.640 we're
00:26:14.840 on
00:26:15.120 the
00:26:15.320 insurance
00:26:15.740 benefit
00:26:16.180 called
00:26:16.540 hospice
00:26:17.100 so it's
00:26:17.960 hospice
00:26:18.680 has many
00:26:19.900 meanings
00:26:20.400 but
00:26:20.760 it is
00:26:22.060 this
00:26:22.260 kind of
00:26:22.620 care
00:26:22.880 reserve
00:26:23.220 for the
00:26:23.580 final
00:26:23.880 six
00:26:24.340 months
00:26:24.660 or a
00:26:25.000 year
00:26:25.220 of
00:26:25.400 life
00:26:25.700 say
00:26:26.000 but
00:26:26.600 into
00:26:26.820 the
00:26:27.020 80s
00:26:27.360 and
00:26:27.480 90s
00:26:28.820 people
00:26:29.460 who did
00:26:29.740 this
00:26:29.920 kind
00:26:30.160 of
00:26:30.240 work
00:26:30.480 one way
00:26:30.800 and
00:26:30.860 another
00:26:31.120 would
00:26:31.360 kind
00:26:31.600 of
00:26:31.680 realize
00:26:31.900 well
00:26:32.040 why
00:26:32.280 are we
00:26:32.960 waiting
00:26:33.360 till
00:26:33.860 the
00:26:34.200 end
00:26:34.680 of
00:26:34.880 people's
00:26:35.400 lives
00:26:35.840 to
00:26:36.220 listen
00:26:36.640 to
00:26:36.900 them
00:26:37.200 to
00:26:38.020 defer
00:26:38.400 to
00:26:38.560 their
00:26:38.780 experience
00:26:39.500 to
00:26:40.340 honor
00:26:40.600 them
00:26:40.940 to
00:26:41.300 tend
00:26:41.600 to
00:26:41.740 their
00:26:41.900 comfort
00:26:42.300 to
00:26:42.520 their
00:26:42.700 peace
00:26:43.160 help
00:26:43.820 them
00:26:44.040 make
00:26:44.300 meaning
00:26:44.800 deal
00:26:45.600 with
00:26:45.800 meaninglessness
00:26:46.540 you know
00:26:47.620 help
00:26:47.820 the
00:26:48.040 families
00:26:48.640 reckon
00:26:49.060 and square
00:26:49.740 what's
00:26:50.080 going
00:26:50.300 on
00:26:50.680 and
00:26:50.940 live
00:26:51.220 on
00:26:51.720 you know
00:26:52.780 it's
00:26:52.880 beautiful
00:26:53.400 beautiful
00:26:53.860 stuff
00:26:54.340 but it
00:26:54.700 was
00:26:54.960 we
00:26:55.500 reserved
00:26:55.880 it
00:26:56.000 for the
00:26:56.240 final
00:26:56.460 six
00:26:56.760 months
00:26:57.020 or
00:26:57.200 less
00:26:57.380 to
00:26:57.580 live
00:26:57.920 you
00:26:58.080 know
00:26:58.180 so
00:26:58.420 in
00:26:58.540 the
00:26:58.660 90s
00:26:59.200 the
00:27:00.900 idea
00:27:01.620 was
00:27:02.020 to try
00:27:02.320 to break
00:27:04.880 nation
00:27:05.240 which
00:27:05.520 is
00:27:05.660 the
00:27:05.820 thing
00:27:06.000 that
00:27:06.160 said
00:27:06.380 six
00:27:06.660 months
00:27:06.900 or
00:27:07.060 less
00:27:07.220 to
00:27:07.400 live
00:27:07.840 and
00:27:08.000 you
00:27:08.100 got
00:27:08.240 to
00:27:08.380 give
00:27:08.600 up
00:27:08.800 certain
00:27:09.080 kinds
00:27:09.380 of
00:27:09.500 care
00:27:09.680 to
00:27:09.860 go
00:27:10.060 on
00:27:10.340 to
00:27:10.460 hospice
00:27:11.000 all
00:27:11.600 these
00:27:11.740 kind
00:27:11.920 of
00:27:12.020 invented
00:27:12.480 hurdles
00:27:13.640 man-made
00:27:14.740 and so
00:27:15.840 in the
00:27:16.040 90s
00:27:16.400 the field
00:27:16.800 of
00:27:16.940 care
00:27:17.500 grew up
00:27:18.000 the
00:27:18.640 term
00:27:18.880 was
00:27:19.060 coined
00:27:19.360 by
00:27:19.620 Balfour
00:27:20.020 Mount
00:27:20.300 in
00:27:20.520 Canada
00:27:20.840 who
00:27:21.000 was
00:27:21.080 one
00:27:21.200 of
00:27:21.240 the
00:27:21.360 first
00:27:21.580 hospice
00:27:22.040 docs
00:27:22.380 in
00:27:22.600 North
00:27:23.140 America
00:27:23.560 and
00:27:23.940 we
00:27:24.340 were
00:27:24.460 trying
00:27:24.640 to
00:27:24.800 evade
00:27:25.500 the
00:27:25.720 baggage
00:27:34.880 you 0.99
00:27:35.220 die
00:27:35.460 it's
00:27:35.640 not
00:27:35.800 about
00:27:36.100 celebrating
00:27:36.860 death
00:27:37.300 per se
00:27:37.920 it's
00:27:38.800 really
00:27:39.000 about
00:27:39.280 celebrating
00:27:39.780 life
00:27:40.140 and
00:27:40.300 eking
00:27:40.580 out
00:27:40.840 all
00:27:41.020 that
00:27:41.180 you
00:27:41.300 can
00:27:41.560 while
00:27:41.760 you
00:27:41.940 can
00:27:42.280 so
00:27:43.380 out
00:27:43.820 of
00:27:43.920 care
00:27:44.060 grew
00:27:44.280 up
00:27:44.500 in
00:27:44.660 the
00:27:44.800 90s
00:27:45.260 as
00:27:45.420 a
00:27:45.540 field
00:27:45.820 to
00:27:46.340 say
00:27:46.600 no
00:27:47.240 no
00:27:47.420 our
00:27:47.660 work
00:27:47.960 here
00:27:48.200 is
00:27:48.380 multiple
00:27:49.100 disciplines
00:27:49.880 coming
00:27:50.340 together
00:27:50.860 to
00:27:52.340 you know
00:27:53.300 mitigate
00:27:53.720 suffering
00:27:54.340 essentially
00:27:54.880 to
00:27:55.520 focus
00:27:55.980 on the
00:27:56.340 experience
00:27:57.000 of
00:27:57.220 illness
00:27:57.600 not
00:27:57.960 the
00:27:58.100 transactions
00:27:58.760 of
00:27:59.200 disease
00:27:59.660 management
00:28:00.220 to
00:28:01.020 help
00:28:01.340 you
00:28:01.460 suffer
00:28:01.720 less
00:28:02.100 and
00:28:02.320 help
00:28:02.600 you
00:28:02.780 realize
00:28:03.720 more
00:28:04.040 joy
00:28:04.420 that's
00:28:05.440 kind
00:28:05.660 of
00:28:05.740 the
00:28:05.880 gist
00:28:06.300 so
00:28:07.180 palliative
00:28:07.680 care
00:28:07.940 is
00:28:08.200 this
00:28:08.400 now
00:28:08.600 the
00:28:08.760 umbrella
00:28:09.140 term
00:28:09.600 since
00:28:10.020 2006
00:28:11.020 the
00:28:11.960 field
00:28:12.240 at
00:28:12.420 large
00:28:12.900 is
00:28:13.320 palliative
00:28:13.660 care
00:28:14.160 hospice
00:28:15.400 now
00:28:15.620 is
00:28:15.780 considered
00:28:16.400 a
00:28:16.660 subset
00:28:17.040 of
00:28:17.300 palliative
00:28:17.620 care
00:28:17.900 that is
00:28:18.280 this
00:28:18.500 kind
00:28:18.820 of
00:28:18.980 multidiscipline
00:28:19.720 work
00:28:20.060 but
00:28:20.720 still
00:28:21.020 reserved
00:28:21.420 for the
00:28:21.740 final
00:28:21.980 months
00:28:22.320 of
00:28:22.480 life
00:28:22.820 whereas
00:28:23.980 in
00:28:24.260 palliative
00:28:24.560 care
00:28:24.920 it's
00:28:25.600 the
00:28:25.720 same
00:28:25.920 training
00:28:26.440 you're
00:28:27.900 a
00:28:28.000 hospice
00:28:28.380 doc
00:28:28.660 as
00:28:28.860 well
00:28:29.000 as
00:28:29.120 a
00:28:29.220 palliative
00:28:32.600 people
00:28:32.780 for
00:28:32.980 many
00:28:33.180 years
00:28:33.720 or
00:28:34.100 people
00:28:34.380 who
00:28:34.540 are
00:28:34.620 in
00:28:34.680 remission
00:28:35.080 who
00:28:35.300 aren't
00:28:35.500 dying
00:28:35.760 anytime 0.68
00:28:36.180 soon
00:28:36.560 so
00:28:37.600 sorry
00:28:38.140 for the
00:28:38.460 long
00:28:38.640 answer
00:28:38.960 brother
00:28:39.240 but
00:28:39.480 that's
00:28:39.900 kind
00:28:40.180 of
00:28:40.240 hard
00:28:40.360 to
00:28:40.480 do
00:28:40.580 it
00:28:40.740 succinctly
00:28:41.320 that's
00:28:41.460 good
00:28:41.580 so
00:28:41.760 but
00:28:42.520 is
00:28:43.200 it
00:28:43.320 true
00:28:43.460 to
00:28:43.620 say
00:28:43.820 that
00:28:44.160 hospice
00:28:45.160 only
00:28:46.300 gets
00:28:46.760 triggered
00:28:47.280 once
00:28:48.200 you
00:28:48.700 admit
00:28:49.160 you
00:28:49.500 being
00:28:49.820 the
00:28:50.060 patient
00:28:50.580 the
00:28:50.800 family
00:28:51.220 in
00:28:52.160 concert
00:28:52.520 with
00:28:52.820 the
00:28:53.340 health
00:28:53.540 care
00:28:53.700 provider
00:28:54.080 that
00:28:55.200 you're
00:28:56.360 no
00:28:56.840 longer
00:28:57.120 doing
00:28:57.540 anything
00:28:57.980 to
00:28:59.200 fight
00:29:00.500 this
00:29:00.760 illness
00:29:01.180 and
00:29:02.600 overcome it
00:29:03.000 you're
00:29:03.140 not
00:29:03.340 deliberately
00:29:04.040 prolonging
00:29:04.740 life
00:29:05.120 at that
00:29:05.460 point
00:29:05.740 what
00:29:06.020 is it
00:29:06.580 that
00:29:06.740 you
00:29:07.000 are
00:29:08.000 no
00:29:08.220 longer
00:29:08.460 doing
00:29:08.860 in
00:29:09.380 order
00:29:09.560 to
00:29:09.860 invoke
00:29:10.620 hospice
00:29:11.140 so
00:29:11.820 that's
00:29:12.040 right
00:29:12.260 so
00:29:12.520 you're
00:29:12.720 pointing
00:29:12.940 to
00:29:13.160 the
00:29:13.300 two
00:29:13.580 main
00:29:14.080 stipulations
00:29:14.980 of
00:29:15.240 the
00:29:15.380 hospice
00:29:15.840 benefit
00:29:16.180 to
00:29:16.460 qualify
00:29:16.980 for
00:29:17.360 this
00:29:17.640 kind
00:29:17.940 of
00:29:18.100 care
00:29:18.440 to
00:29:18.980 be
00:29:19.160 paid
00:29:19.460 for
00:29:19.820 two
00:29:20.600 things
00:29:21.000 two
00:29:21.720 doctors
00:29:22.120 have
00:29:22.320 to
00:29:22.440 certify
00:29:22.960 that
00:29:23.200 your
00:29:23.460 death 1.00
00:29:24.040 will
00:29:24.220 likely
00:29:24.580 come
00:29:24.940 in
00:29:25.120 six
00:29:25.380 months
00:29:25.660 or
00:29:25.820 less
00:29:26.040 we're
00:29:27.400 pretty
00:29:27.940 bad
00:29:28.280 at
00:29:28.420 prognosis
00:29:28.920 so
00:29:29.200 it's
00:29:29.380 a
00:29:29.460 best
00:29:29.780 guess
00:29:30.140 and
00:29:31.000 the
00:29:31.140 second
00:29:31.380 stipulation
00:29:31.920 is
00:29:32.060 what
00:29:32.160 you're
00:29:32.280 pointing
00:29:32.480 to
00:29:32.700 is
00:29:32.860 you
00:29:32.980 have
00:29:33.240 to
00:29:34.380 essentially
00:29:35.240 stop
00:29:35.780 trying
00:29:36.580 to
00:29:37.000 combat
00:29:37.520 this
00:29:38.000 illness
00:29:38.520 so
00:29:39.640 if
00:29:39.900 you're
00:29:40.120 dying
00:29:40.540 from
00:29:41.000 say
00:29:41.380 heart
00:29:41.640 failure
00:29:42.020 if
00:29:42.660 that's
00:29:42.900 your
00:29:43.040 hospice
00:29:43.520 diagnosis
00:29:44.160 you
00:29:45.880 can
00:29:46.100 come
00:29:46.480 into
00:29:46.660 hospice
00:29:47.240 we
00:29:47.960 will
00:29:48.180 stop
00:29:48.640 a lot
00:29:49.000 of
00:29:49.100 these
00:29:49.240 expensive
00:29:49.740 heart
00:29:50.200 pumps
00:29:50.540 and
00:29:50.740 things
00:29:50.920 like
00:29:51.080 that
00:29:51.340 that
00:29:51.540 are
00:29:51.700 sustaining
00:29:52.960 your
00:29:53.220 life
00:29:53.600 or
00:29:54.360 trying
00:29:54.780 to
00:29:55.040 cure
00:29:55.460 or
00:29:55.720 reverse
00:29:56.240 the
00:29:56.840 heart
00:29:57.060 disease
00:29:57.600 that
00:29:58.720 care
00:29:59.040 then
00:29:59.280 goes
00:29:59.580 into
00:29:59.940 instead
00:30:00.380 making
00:30:00.740 sure
00:30:01.020 you're
00:30:01.180 comfortable
00:30:01.600 and
00:30:02.500 working
00:30:02.880 with
00:30:03.180 you
00:30:03.300 for
00:30:03.420 the
00:30:03.560 time
00:30:03.780 that
00:30:03.940 you
00:30:04.060 have
00:30:04.440 to
00:30:04.640 realize
00:30:05.060 certain
00:30:05.380 things
00:30:05.660 in
00:30:05.780 your
00:30:05.880 life
00:30:06.140 etc
00:30:06.420 becomes
00:30:06.800 much
00:30:07.100 more
00:30:07.340 social
00:30:07.900 much
00:30:09.100 more
00:30:09.320 supportive
00:30:09.820 in a
00:30:10.340 word
00:30:10.600 rather than
00:30:11.500 trying to
00:30:11.820 fight
00:30:12.080 the
00:30:12.240 disease
00:30:12.600 you're
00:30:12.800 trying
00:30:12.920 to
00:30:13.040 support
00:30:13.360 the
00:30:13.540 person
00:30:13.860 so
00:30:14.080 that's
00:30:14.320 the
00:30:14.440 kind
00:30:14.580 of
00:30:14.700 segue
00:30:14.980 of
00:30:15.320 care
00:30:15.700 your
00:30:16.340 other
00:30:16.600 diagnoses
00:30:17.220 if you
00:30:17.600 have
00:30:17.800 diabetes
00:30:18.340 and
00:30:18.640 any
00:30:18.800 other
00:30:18.960 thing
00:30:19.120 that
00:30:19.280 can
00:30:19.460 continue
00:30:19.840 to
00:30:20.000 be
00:30:20.160 treated
00:30:20.480 but
00:30:20.720 the
00:30:20.880 diagnosis
00:30:21.420 that
00:30:21.720 qualifies
00:30:22.240 you
00:30:22.360 for
00:30:22.460 hospice
00:30:22.940 you're
00:30:23.780 no
00:30:23.940 longer
00:30:24.420 qualified
00:30:25.140 to
00:30:25.440 push 0.64
00:30:25.740 back
00:30:26.100 on
00:30:26.300 that
00:30:26.500 disease
00:30:26.980 and
00:30:27.880 in
00:30:27.980 the
00:30:28.080 80s
00:30:28.380 that
00:30:28.520 made
00:30:28.680 a lot
00:30:28.880 of
00:30:29.000 sense
00:30:29.240 there
00:30:29.440 wasn't
00:30:29.740 by
00:30:30.040 the
00:30:30.200 time
00:30:30.420 you
00:30:30.600 reached
00:30:31.120 this
00:30:31.320 point
00:30:31.600 there
00:30:31.800 wasn't
00:30:32.060 much
00:30:32.280 more
00:30:32.520 to
00:30:32.680 try
00:30:33.040 to
00:30:33.360 beat
00:30:33.600 your
00:30:33.800 disease
00:30:34.300 or
00:30:34.940 by
00:30:35.100 then
00:30:35.280 the
00:30:35.440 person
00:30:35.760 was
00:30:35.920 really
00:30:36.080 not
00:30:36.300 interested
00:30:36.740 in
00:30:36.960 this
00:30:37.120 or
00:30:37.240 that
00:30:37.420 treatment
00:30:37.800 was
00:30:38.060 too
00:30:38.260 taxing
00:30:38.800 too
00:30:39.020 toxic
00:30:39.500 it's
00:30:40.340 getting
00:30:40.540 a little
00:30:40.820 messy
00:30:41.480 now
00:30:41.920 because
00:30:42.160 a lot
00:30:42.500 of
00:30:42.620 treatments
00:30:42.940 coming
00:30:43.260 down
00:30:43.420 the
00:30:43.560 pike 0.99
00:30:43.800 can
00:30:44.660 help
00:30:45.020 you
00:30:45.280 live
00:30:45.640 a little
00:30:45.900 bit
00:30:46.080 longer
00:30:46.420 a little
00:30:46.680 bit
00:30:46.840 more
00:30:47.040 comfortably
00:30:47.580 but
00:30:48.480 are
00:30:48.760 not
00:30:49.060 ever
00:30:49.360 intended
00:30:49.780 to
00:30:50.060 say
00:30:50.360 fix
00:30:50.820 or
00:30:51.020 cure
00:30:51.340 your
00:30:51.560 illness
00:30:52.000 so
00:30:52.540 there's
00:30:52.680 an
00:30:52.800 increasing
00:30:53.400 gray
00:30:54.260 zone
00:30:54.700 of
00:30:55.020 treatments
00:30:55.460 that
00:30:55.860 might
00:30:56.200 qualify
00:30:56.960 from a
00:30:57.640 palliative
00:30:58.000 point of
00:30:58.420 view
00:30:58.540 but
00:30:58.780 don't
00:30:59.160 from a
00:30:59.520 hospice
00:30:59.920 point of
00:31:00.280 view
00:31:00.360 for
00:31:00.520 these
00:31:00.720 reasons
00:31:01.020 so
00:31:01.260 it
00:31:07.240 giving
00:31:07.380 up
00:31:07.680 because
00:31:08.460 in
00:31:08.620 some
00:31:08.800 way
00:31:08.940 you
00:31:09.080 are
00:31:09.240 you're
00:31:09.460 giving
00:31:09.740 some
00:31:10.060 choices
00:31:10.440 up
00:31:10.780 does
00:31:11.360 that
00:31:11.480 make
00:31:11.640 sense
00:31:11.940 kind of
00:31:12.720 picture
00:31:12.940 that
00:31:13.180 so
00:31:13.540 the
00:31:13.700 question
00:31:14.160 I
00:31:14.380 posed
00:31:14.940 about
00:31:16.020 people's
00:31:17.280 hesitation
00:31:17.800 around
00:31:18.500 invoking
00:31:19.900 it
00:31:20.120 sort
00:31:20.520 of
00:31:20.660 answers
00:31:21.000 itself
00:31:21.500 because
00:31:21.800 it
00:31:22.440 comes
00:31:22.700 at
00:31:22.840 the
00:31:22.960 moment
00:31:23.180 where
00:31:23.360 you
00:31:23.460 have
00:31:23.640 to
00:31:23.780 admit
00:31:24.020 that
00:31:24.320 okay
00:31:24.780 you're
00:31:25.360 going
00:31:25.560 to 0.99
00:31:25.720 die 0.96
00:31:25.940 from 0.95
00:31:26.100 this
00:31:26.300 thing
00:31:26.580 and
00:31:27.140 it's
00:31:27.840 no
00:31:27.980 longer
00:31:28.260 a
00:31:28.940 story
00:31:29.220 of
00:31:29.440 how
00:31:29.640 you're
00:31:29.820 going
00:31:30.020 to
00:31:30.240 get
00:31:30.580 better
00:31:30.900 from
00:31:31.320 the
00:31:31.840 cancer
00:31:32.160 whatever
00:31:32.480 it
00:31:32.660 is
00:31:32.840 that's
00:31:33.320 right
00:31:33.520 Shoshana
00:31:34.340 did you
00:31:34.600 have
00:31:34.700 something
00:31:34.880 you
00:31:35.020 wanted
00:31:35.180 to
00:31:35.300 say
00:31:35.440 there
00:31:35.600 well
00:31:36.280 I
00:31:36.480 just
00:31:36.700 I
00:31:37.180 always
00:31:37.900 look
00:31:38.980 at
00:31:39.140 the
00:31:39.300 kind
00:31:39.520 of
00:31:40.280 etymology
00:31:40.960 of
00:31:41.180 these
00:31:41.380 things
00:31:41.680 hospice
00:31:42.320 and
00:31:42.520 hospitals
00:31:43.120 and
00:31:43.720 hospitality
00:31:44.560 you know
00:31:45.340 it's
00:31:46.020 all
00:31:46.600 about
00:31:47.180 caregiving
00:31:48.520 and
00:31:49.320 how
00:31:50.500 we
00:31:50.800 care
00:31:51.160 for
00:31:51.400 people
00:31:51.920 how
00:31:52.440 we
00:31:52.600 care
00:31:52.780 for
00:31:52.980 each
00:31:53.180 other
00:31:53.620 you know
00:31:54.680 through
00:31:54.860 the
00:31:55.060 entire
00:31:55.400 arc
00:31:55.700 of
00:31:55.880 life
00:31:56.260 and
00:31:56.860 we
00:31:57.620 pay
00:31:57.880 a lot
00:31:58.440 of
00:31:58.560 attention
00:31:58.920 for
00:31:59.240 how
00:31:59.540 we
00:31:59.880 care
00:32:00.660 for
00:32:01.220 our
00:32:02.140 firstborn
00:32:02.820 for
00:32:03.140 how
00:32:03.360 we
00:32:03.540 care
00:32:03.820 for
00:32:04.220 children
00:32:05.040 and
00:32:06.080 very
00:32:06.340 little
00:32:06.780 for
00:32:07.480 how
00:32:07.880 we
00:32:08.300 usher
00:32:09.460 people
00:32:09.720 out
00:32:09.980 of
00:32:10.120 life
00:32:10.460 and
00:32:11.520 you
00:32:11.800 know
00:32:11.940 part
00:32:12.420 of
00:32:12.600 the
00:32:12.900 project
00:32:13.200 of
00:32:13.380 this
00:32:13.560 book
00:32:13.800 was
00:32:14.240 knowing
00:32:14.920 that
00:32:15.260 there
00:32:15.500 was
00:32:15.640 this
00:32:15.880 book
00:32:16.180 what
00:32:16.540 to
00:32:16.700 expect
00:32:17.080 when
00:32:17.260 you're
00:32:17.380 expecting
00:32:17.840 for
00:32:18.120 new
00:32:18.280 parents
00:32:18.740 which
00:32:19.020 has
00:32:19.180 sold
00:32:19.400 500
00:32:20.140 million
00:32:20.600 copies
00:32:21.040 and
00:32:21.340 every
00:32:21.840 set
00:32:23.180 of
00:32:23.340 parents
00:32:23.680 gets
00:32:23.980 their
00:32:24.240 newly
00:32:24.740 minted
00:32:25.120 copy
00:32:25.500 we
00:32:26.380 wanted
00:32:26.660 to
00:32:26.860 create
00:32:27.080 something
00:32:27.380 like
00:32:27.680 that
00:32:28.100 a
00:32:28.360 stepwise
00:32:28.800 approach
00:32:29.300 to
00:32:29.760 thinking
00:32:30.260 about
00:32:30.680 this
00:32:30.900 experience
00:32:31.480 for
00:32:31.760 the
00:32:31.940 other
00:32:32.180 end
00:32:32.360 of
00:32:32.500 life
00:32:32.840 and
00:32:33.780 hospice
00:32:34.580 is a
00:32:34.840 part
00:32:34.980 of
00:32:35.080 that
00:32:35.280 yeah
00:32:36.160 so
00:32:37.140 you
00:32:37.280 mentioned
00:32:37.680 BJ
00:32:38.300 that
00:32:38.520 you
00:32:38.820 were
00:32:39.640 at
00:32:39.820 the
00:32:40.140 zen
00:32:40.680 hospice
00:32:41.520 does
00:32:42.160 that
00:32:42.360 suggest
00:32:42.840 that
00:32:42.980 you
00:32:43.120 were
00:32:43.880 you
00:32:44.300 a
00:32:44.420 zen
00:32:44.680 practitioner
00:32:45.300 before
00:32:45.780 you
00:32:46.520 came
00:32:46.760 to
00:32:46.940 it
00:32:47.040 or
00:32:47.160 did
00:32:47.700 you
00:32:47.780 just
00:32:47.980 come
00:32:48.340 as
00:32:48.600 a
00:32:48.720 hospice
00:32:49.080 doctor
00:32:49.500 who
00:32:49.880 happened
00:32:50.320 to
00:32:50.480 land
00:32:50.800 at
00:32:51.000 that
00:32:51.260 particular
00:32:52.200 hospice
00:32:52.680 well
00:32:53.620 I
00:32:53.800 came
00:32:54.120 there
00:32:54.520 more
00:32:55.080 more
00:32:55.520 the
00:32:55.720 latter
00:32:56.060 Sam
00:32:56.520 I
00:32:56.760 came
00:32:57.500 there
00:32:58.000 for
00:32:59.440 entranced
00:33:00.960 by
00:33:01.160 two
00:33:01.400 things
00:33:01.840 at
00:33:02.200 Zen
00:33:02.360 Hospice
00:33:02.660 Project
00:33:02.920 which
00:33:03.160 had
00:33:03.280 started
00:33:03.620 in
00:33:03.840 1987
00:33:04.460 and
00:33:04.820 I
00:33:04.900 know
00:33:05.000 you've
00:33:05.200 had
00:33:05.320 a
00:33:05.480 beautiful
00:33:05.800 interview
00:33:06.100 with
00:33:06.320 Frank
00:33:06.620 Osseseski
00:33:07.260 who
00:33:07.700 was
00:33:07.900 the
00:33:08.060 founding
00:33:08.340 executive
00:33:08.840 director
00:33:09.260 back
00:33:09.580 in
00:33:09.700 the
00:33:09.820 80s
00:33:10.260 I
00:33:11.140 mean
00:33:11.220 a
00:33:11.360 really
00:33:11.540 remarkable
00:33:12.140 little
00:33:12.800 place
00:33:13.220 and
00:33:13.880 it
00:33:14.000 had
00:33:14.160 closed
00:33:14.540 down
00:33:14.880 after
00:33:15.160 Frank
00:33:15.460 left
00:33:15.720 and
00:33:15.860 it
00:33:15.940 was
00:33:16.060 just
00:33:16.300 reopening
00:33:16.840 so
00:33:17.980 I
00:33:18.200 came
00:33:18.500 there
00:33:18.900 as
00:33:19.300 a
00:33:19.420 hospice
00:33:19.800 doctor
00:33:20.160 as
00:33:20.540 an
00:33:20.680 agnostic
00:33:21.260 hospice
00:33:22.040 doctor
00:33:22.380 who
00:33:22.680 was
00:33:22.820 broadly
00:33:23.200 interested
00:33:23.820 in
00:33:24.580 spirituality
00:33:25.120 or
00:33:26.480 just
00:33:26.780 philosophy
00:33:27.580 how we
00:33:28.240 approach
00:33:28.700 the truth
00:33:29.320 how we
00:33:29.660 approach
00:33:30.040 life
00:33:30.480 so I
00:33:31.380 was
00:33:31.540 interested
00:33:32.440 in
00:33:32.740 Buddhism 0.96
00:33:33.040 and
00:33:33.460 had
00:33:33.760 studied
00:33:34.220 it
00:33:34.380 a little
00:33:34.660 bit
00:33:34.940 and
00:33:35.120 found
00:33:35.440 it
00:33:35.700 irrefutable
00:33:38.180 in
00:33:39.060 so
00:33:39.260 many
00:33:39.480 ways
00:33:39.860 didn't
00:33:40.580 really
00:33:40.760 see it
00:33:41.020 as a
00:33:41.220 religion
00:33:41.560 but
00:33:41.860 more
00:33:42.180 as a
00:33:42.520 philosophy
00:33:43.100 and
00:33:44.240 my
00:33:44.540 agnosticism
00:33:45.280 fit
00:33:45.580 I thought
00:33:46.220 pretty
00:33:46.520 snugly
00:33:47.020 within
00:33:47.360 those
00:33:47.680 confines
00:33:48.360 but I
00:33:49.020 was
00:33:49.160 really
00:33:49.320 there
00:33:49.720 as
00:33:50.060 a
00:33:50.160 hospice
00:33:50.520 doc
00:33:50.780 who
00:33:51.020 loved
00:33:53.880 architecture
00:33:54.600 and this
00:33:55.600 sweet
00:33:55.980 little
00:33:56.240 guest
00:33:56.560 house
00:33:56.940 this
00:33:57.180 Victorian
00:33:57.660 was
00:33:57.980 anything
00:33:58.540 but a
00:33:59.160 nursing
00:33:59.440 anything
00:33:59.800 but a
00:34:00.300 hospital
00:34:00.700 and
00:34:01.040 there
00:34:02.060 was
00:34:02.160 a
00:34:02.280 belief
00:34:03.200 or
00:34:03.540 an
00:34:04.220 observation
00:34:04.820 that
00:34:05.340 bones
00:34:06.440 of a
00:34:06.780 place
00:34:07.160 the
00:34:07.700 inanimate
00:34:08.280 objects
00:34:08.840 the
00:34:09.200 design
00:34:09.800 all of
00:34:10.360 that
00:34:10.580 could
00:34:10.820 affect
00:34:11.180 the
00:34:11.340 experience
00:34:11.920 of course
00:34:12.660 it
00:34:12.820 can
00:34:13.040 the
00:34:13.340 beauty
00:34:13.600 of a
00:34:13.880 place
00:34:14.140 of course
00:34:14.500 it
00:34:14.660 can
00:34:14.880 so
00:34:15.140 I
00:34:15.900 was
00:34:16.060 there
00:34:16.220 for
00:34:16.380 the
00:34:16.560 house
00:34:16.960 and
00:34:17.320 I
00:34:17.480 was
00:34:17.660 there
00:34:18.000 because
00:34:18.540 they
00:34:18.800 had
00:34:19.020 a
00:34:19.180 basis
00:34:19.500 of
00:34:19.820 care
00:34:20.320 in
00:34:21.140 volunteerism
00:34:22.000 and in
00:34:22.420 spirituality
00:34:22.940 and that
00:34:23.840 seemed
00:34:24.080 like a
00:34:24.580 very
00:34:25.140 interesting
00:34:25.740 perhaps
00:34:26.400 a
00:34:26.640 larger
00:34:27.100 better
00:34:28.020 catchment
00:34:28.880 for this
00:34:29.300 subject
00:34:29.660 than the
00:34:30.260 sort
00:34:30.440 of
00:34:30.560 reductive
00:34:31.240 medical
00:34:31.800 model
00:34:32.740 per se
00:34:33.660 Shoshana
00:34:35.180 do you
00:34:35.580 have a
00:34:35.840 background
00:34:36.140 in
00:34:36.480 meditation
00:34:37.180 or any
00:34:37.760 spiritual
00:34:38.720 practice
00:34:39.220 that's
00:34:39.660 informing
00:34:40.060 your
00:34:40.280 approach
00:34:40.560 to this
00:34:40.900 well
00:34:41.420 Sam
00:34:41.700 I
00:34:41.880 largely
00:34:42.700 learned
00:34:43.060 to
00:34:43.220 meditate
00:34:43.500 from
00:34:43.860 you
00:34:44.140 I
00:34:44.620 have to
00:34:45.640 give you
00:34:46.020 credit
00:34:46.380 here
00:34:46.740 someone
00:34:48.580 gifted
00:34:49.080 me
00:34:49.640 a
00:34:50.180 subscription
00:34:51.100 to
00:34:51.720 waking
00:34:52.120 up
00:34:52.500 and
00:34:52.800 you
00:34:53.740 you know
00:34:54.800 I had
00:34:55.120 dabbled
00:34:55.660 in
00:34:56.040 meditation
00:34:56.500 before
00:34:57.040 and
00:34:57.440 growing up
00:34:58.220 in the
00:34:58.440 Bay Area
00:34:58.780 you can't
00:34:59.280 help but 0.92
00:34:59.740 like
00:35:00.020 osmotically
00:35:00.760 be exposed
00:35:01.380 to
00:35:01.960 all of
00:35:02.920 the
00:35:03.280 Buddhist 1.00
00:35:04.620 activity
00:35:06.180 around
00:35:06.580 here
00:35:06.900 and you
00:35:07.340 know
00:35:07.440 we have
00:35:08.000 spirit
00:35:08.780 rock
00:35:09.100 here
00:35:09.440 and
00:35:09.720 so I
00:35:11.000 had
00:35:11.200 a yoga
00:35:12.500 practice
00:35:12.920 and certainly
00:35:13.540 I was
00:35:13.860 interested
00:35:14.240 but really
00:35:14.900 it wasn't
00:35:15.400 until I
00:35:15.940 started
00:35:16.420 having you
00:35:17.820 in my
00:35:18.120 ear
00:35:18.300 that I
00:35:18.660 started
00:35:19.140 more
00:35:19.740 religiously
00:35:21.220 meditating
00:35:22.280 but I
00:35:23.080 just say
00:35:23.520 that
00:35:23.800 for me
00:35:25.460 the death
00:35:26.420 of my
00:35:26.660 father
00:35:26.920 was such
00:35:27.480 a
00:35:28.900 tectonic
00:35:29.700 shift
00:35:30.540 for me
00:35:31.100 and it
00:35:32.280 so rattled
00:35:33.040 me to
00:35:33.420 the core
00:35:33.920 that
00:35:34.260 I did
00:35:35.660 turn to
00:35:36.640 various
00:35:38.040 different
00:35:38.640 spiritual
00:35:39.800 guides
00:35:40.820 and
00:35:41.520 faiths
00:35:42.580 I
00:35:42.740 certainly
00:35:43.780 turned
00:35:44.160 back
00:35:44.480 to
00:35:44.780 my
00:35:45.040 Jewish
00:35:45.280 community
00:35:45.680 and I
00:35:46.140 listened
00:35:46.920 to
00:35:47.380 a lot
00:35:47.980 of
00:35:48.500 you
00:35:49.120 know
00:35:49.240 very
00:35:49.580 wise
00:35:50.060 teachers
00:35:50.560 who
00:35:51.980 grapple
00:35:52.900 with
00:35:53.280 loss
00:35:53.820 and death
00:35:54.460 and grief
00:35:55.120 in a
00:35:56.200 way that I
00:35:56.960 think is
00:35:57.240 very useful
00:35:58.040 to me
00:35:59.240 the
00:36:00.080 Tibetan
00:36:01.180 practice
00:36:02.420 of
00:36:02.820 meditating
00:36:03.420 on death
00:36:04.000 five times
00:36:04.900 a day
00:36:05.180 I think
00:36:05.480 it is
00:36:05.960 is really
00:36:06.960 right
00:36:07.360 is that
00:36:08.900 you should
00:36:09.400 be
00:36:09.740 you should
00:36:10.620 keep 0.99
00:36:10.900 death
00:36:11.160 close
00:36:11.660 because of
00:36:12.840 course
00:36:13.220 it is
00:36:13.960 everywhere
00:36:14.340 and
00:36:14.940 we are
00:36:15.820 dying
00:36:16.100 all the
00:36:16.420 time
00:36:16.760 and having
00:36:17.380 that
00:36:17.800 having
00:36:18.500 that
00:36:18.760 inform
00:36:19.180 how you
00:36:19.580 live
00:36:20.080 it
00:36:20.480 that
00:36:21.740 has
00:36:21.960 changed
00:36:22.260 my
00:36:22.460 life
00:36:22.700 that
00:36:22.900 has
00:36:23.100 brought
00:36:23.340 more
00:36:23.600 urgency
00:36:24.080 to
00:36:24.320 my
00:36:24.480 life
00:36:24.900 it
00:36:25.120 has
00:36:25.300 brought
00:36:25.700 much
00:36:26.280 more
00:36:26.480 connection
00:36:27.040 more
00:36:27.620 presence
00:36:28.140 and
00:36:28.920 and so
00:36:29.140 I think
00:36:29.400 that's
00:36:29.620 all
00:36:29.760 very
00:36:30.020 useful
00:36:30.480 yeah
00:36:31.480 yeah
00:36:32.160 well
00:36:32.520 more or
00:36:33.080 less
00:36:33.220 every
00:36:33.560 spiritual
00:36:34.300 tradition
00:36:34.960 recommends
00:36:36.060 that we
00:36:36.300 keep
00:36:36.600 death
00:36:37.100 in mind
00:36:37.680 and
00:36:39.040 you know
00:36:40.360 it's the
00:36:40.900 impermanence
00:36:41.600 of life
00:36:42.460 that motivates
00:36:43.440 most
00:36:43.940 philosophical
00:36:44.860 reflection
00:36:45.440 or
00:36:45.860 deliberate
00:36:46.760 practice
00:36:47.340 that's
00:36:47.820 aimed
00:36:48.240 at
00:36:48.500 wisdom
00:36:49.140 but
00:36:50.400 it's
00:36:51.020 always
00:36:51.220 seemed
00:36:51.400 to me
00:36:51.580 that
00:36:51.720 there's
00:36:51.900 a
00:36:52.520 paradox
00:36:53.160 or a
00:36:54.140 seeming
00:36:54.620 paradox
00:36:55.080 between
00:36:55.760 the
00:36:56.740 two
00:36:57.400 modes
00:36:57.800 of
00:36:57.940 response
00:36:58.600 to
00:36:59.200 this
00:36:59.600 reflection
00:37:00.760 I mean
00:37:01.040 there's
00:37:01.480 the
00:37:01.740 there's
00:37:02.420 the
00:37:02.540 mode
00:37:02.780 in which
00:37:03.080 we can
00:37:03.560 we can
00:37:04.440 really
00:37:04.680 you know
00:37:04.940 seize
00:37:05.280 the day
00:37:05.860 with a
00:37:06.280 sense
00:37:06.440 of
00:37:06.560 urgency
00:37:06.940 and
00:37:08.100 you know
00:37:09.080 follow
00:37:09.420 a sort
00:37:09.840 of
00:37:09.960 carpe
00:37:10.240 diem
00:37:10.640 piece
00:37:11.680 of
00:37:11.780 advice
00:37:12.240 which
00:37:13.360 is
00:37:14.200 just
00:37:14.500 alone
00:37:15.240 can
00:37:16.160 be a
00:37:16.560 kind
00:37:16.920 of
00:37:17.300 just
00:37:19.080 a
00:37:19.260 further
00:37:19.620 adumbration
00:37:20.780 of our
00:37:21.280 attachment
00:37:21.980 to things
00:37:22.840 and clinging
00:37:23.560 to things
00:37:24.060 I mean
00:37:24.300 you know
00:37:24.640 there's
00:37:24.880 no
00:37:25.020 bucket
00:37:25.340 list
00:37:25.800 however
00:37:26.560 fully
00:37:27.060 accomplished
00:37:27.760 that's
00:37:28.860 the
00:37:29.060 same
00:37:29.500 as
00:37:29.800 recognizing
00:37:30.520 a
00:37:31.580 quality
00:37:31.900 of
00:37:32.080 mind
00:37:32.460 that
00:37:32.840 just
00:37:33.080 doesn't
00:37:33.440 cling
00:37:33.920 to
00:37:34.640 experience
00:37:35.700 and to
00:37:36.340 life
00:37:36.680 itself
00:37:37.140 and so
00:37:37.480 there's
00:37:37.780 I think
00:37:38.260 there's
00:37:38.440 this
00:37:38.620 potential
00:37:39.460 trade-off
00:37:40.440 and confusion
00:37:41.020 between
00:37:41.440 the
00:37:42.320 urgency
00:37:42.900 of
00:37:43.820 trying to
00:37:44.620 get the
00:37:45.020 most out
00:37:45.500 of life
00:37:46.000 which
00:37:46.240 again
00:37:46.780 there's
00:37:47.440 a lot
00:37:47.740 to be
00:37:48.020 said
00:37:48.260 for that
00:37:48.740 but
00:37:49.560 that's
00:37:50.220 distinct
00:37:50.700 between
00:37:51.420 simply
00:37:52.560 recognizing
00:37:53.280 that this
00:37:53.800 moment
00:37:54.320 is already
00:37:55.080 enough
00:37:55.580 right
00:37:56.260 and I
00:37:56.560 think
00:37:56.820 more and
00:37:57.200 more
00:37:57.360 we want
00:37:58.400 and certainly
00:37:58.960 anyone with a
00:38:00.100 meditation practice
00:38:01.740 will find this
00:38:02.380 familiar
00:38:02.980 we want a mind
00:38:04.700 that is
00:38:05.580 at peace
00:38:06.740 with
00:38:07.380 experience
00:38:08.740 whatever it is
00:38:09.780 and is
00:38:10.080 at peace
00:38:11.360 with
00:38:11.800 the reality
00:38:13.280 that we're
00:38:13.760 at bottom
00:38:14.520 we're not really
00:38:15.340 in control
00:38:16.040 of anything
00:38:17.020 and
00:38:18.160 and
00:38:18.360 it's
00:38:18.880 these
00:38:19.720 kind of
00:38:20.100 nested
00:38:20.560 illusions
00:38:20.980 of
00:38:21.220 control
00:38:21.560 that
00:38:21.840 we
00:38:22.340 sort
00:38:22.560 of
00:38:22.680 fight
00:38:22.920 our
00:38:23.060 way
00:38:23.220 beyond
00:38:23.720 as we
00:38:24.340 confront
00:38:25.100 our
00:38:25.460 and
00:38:26.320 others
00:38:26.820 mortality
00:38:27.580 I'm
00:38:28.360 wondering
00:38:28.560 if either
00:38:29.200 of you
00:38:29.360 have any
00:38:29.820 reaction
00:38:30.920 to that
00:38:31.280 because
00:38:31.480 in my
00:38:32.260 own
00:38:32.460 life
00:38:32.680 I
00:38:32.860 noticed
00:38:33.260 that
00:38:33.480 I
00:38:33.640 really
00:38:34.140 am
00:38:34.320 running
00:38:34.540 both
00:38:34.940 programs
00:38:35.480 I mean
00:38:35.700 there are
00:38:35.860 many
00:38:36.040 things
00:38:36.360 I
00:38:36.600 do
00:38:37.020 because
00:38:37.800 I
00:38:37.920 want
00:38:38.140 to
00:38:38.260 do
00:38:38.380 them
00:38:38.660 and
00:38:38.780 I
00:38:38.920 have
00:38:39.580 vacations
00:38:40.580 planned
00:38:41.080 and
00:38:41.360 projects
00:38:42.000 planned
00:38:42.460 and
00:38:42.780 there
00:38:43.380 is
00:38:43.500 a
00:38:43.600 sort
00:38:43.760 of
00:38:43.900 bucket
00:38:44.180 list
00:38:44.600 mode
00:38:45.340 of
00:38:46.280 prioritizing
00:38:47.220 things
00:38:47.700 that
00:38:48.040 on their
00:38:49.060 face
00:38:49.360 seem like
00:38:49.860 good
00:38:50.440 and
00:38:50.580 enjoyable
00:38:50.900 uses
00:38:51.240 of
00:38:51.440 time
00:38:51.800 and
00:38:52.520 I
00:38:53.760 wouldn't
00:38:53.980 say
00:38:54.140 that
00:38:54.340 that
00:38:54.680 is
00:38:54.800 a
00:38:54.940 waste
00:38:55.140 of
00:38:55.300 time
00:38:55.580 but
00:38:55.940 if
00:38:56.760 you
00:38:57.120 are
00:38:57.600 living
00:38:57.880 with
00:38:58.140 the
00:38:58.460 illusion
00:38:59.260 that
00:38:59.600 your
00:38:59.800 happiness
00:39:00.240 is
00:39:00.520 going
00:39:00.680 to be
00:39:00.960 secured
00:39:01.480 only
00:39:02.680 when
00:39:02.940 you
00:39:03.180 arrive
00:39:04.020 at
00:39:04.160 the
00:39:04.300 peak
00:39:04.540 of
00:39:04.680 all
00:39:04.860 these
00:39:05.120 mountains
00:39:06.160 that
00:39:06.980 you're
00:39:07.340 planning
00:39:07.600 to
00:39:07.780 climb
00:39:08.100 you
00:39:08.780 seem
00:39:09.060 guaranteed
00:39:09.980 to be
00:39:10.280 disappointed
00:39:10.780 and
00:39:11.480 there's
00:39:12.340 sort
00:39:12.480 of
00:39:12.560 a
00:39:12.720 figure
00:39:12.940 ground
00:39:13.300 reversal
00:39:13.740 that
00:39:14.080 needs
00:39:14.740 to be
00:39:14.960 accomplished
00:39:15.340 where
00:39:15.580 you
00:39:15.720 can
00:39:15.880 recognize
00:39:16.340 well
00:39:16.600 it's
00:39:17.280 possible
00:39:17.660 to be
00:39:17.960 already
00:39:18.440 happy
00:39:19.200 before
00:39:20.300 anything
00:39:21.100 happens
00:39:21.720 before
00:39:22.240 the
00:39:22.420 vacation
00:39:22.800 actually
00:39:23.200 arrives
00:39:23.620 it's
00:39:24.700 only
00:39:24.860 worked
00:39:25.160 out
00:39:25.440 for
00:39:26.040 me
00:39:26.400 in
00:39:26.860 continually
00:39:27.980 kind
00:39:28.560 of
00:39:28.620 being
00:39:28.800 buffeted
00:39:29.340 back
00:39:29.680 and
00:39:29.840 forth
00:39:30.100 between
00:39:30.380 those
00:39:30.600 two
00:39:30.900 modes
00:39:31.420 and
00:39:31.820 recognizing
00:39:32.720 that
00:39:32.980 one
00:39:33.340 needs
00:39:34.180 to
00:39:34.360 supersede
00:39:34.820 the
00:39:34.980 other
00:39:35.200 for
00:39:35.760 me
00:39:35.940 yeah
00:39:37.140 Sam
00:39:37.700 you're
00:39:38.700 really
00:39:38.860 putting
00:39:39.120 something
00:39:39.400 really
00:39:39.680 important
00:39:40.120 here
00:39:40.460 and
00:39:40.900 I
00:39:41.420 think
00:39:41.600 in
00:39:41.740 some
00:39:41.900 ways
00:39:42.080 Shosh 0.99
00:39:42.380 and I
00:39:42.780 you know
00:39:43.500 the book
00:39:43.860 in some
00:39:44.180 ways
00:39:44.320 as a
00:39:44.640 beginner's
00:39:46.260 treatise
00:39:47.460 we mostly
00:39:49.940 sort of
00:39:50.900 suggest
00:39:51.600 or come
00:39:52.140 up to
00:39:52.780 find our
00:39:54.020 way to
00:39:54.720 oh boy
00:39:55.300 okay
00:39:55.860 time is
00:39:57.840 finite
00:39:58.960 my time
00:39:59.700 is finite
00:40:00.380 on this
00:40:01.480 planet
00:40:01.800 and okay
00:40:03.360 let's take
00:40:04.140 life seriously
00:40:04.740 let's figure
00:40:05.480 out what
00:40:05.820 let it
00:40:06.460 distill
00:40:07.220 what we
00:40:07.860 care about
00:40:08.380 and let's
00:40:08.760 pursue those
00:40:09.420 things that
00:40:09.880 we care
00:40:10.280 about
00:40:10.640 something
00:40:11.800 really
00:40:12.240 beautiful
00:40:13.140 and
00:40:13.660 wonderful
00:40:14.580 about
00:40:14.980 that
00:40:15.360 one of
00:40:16.220 the
00:40:16.320 things
00:40:16.480 if we
00:40:16.720 were
00:40:16.800 going
00:40:16.900 to
00:40:16.960 write
00:40:17.120 like
00:40:17.300 an
00:40:17.440 intermediate
00:40:17.880 guide
00:40:18.620 I
00:40:19.320 think
00:40:19.660 we'd
00:40:19.960 spend
00:40:20.220 more
00:40:20.500 time
00:40:20.960 on
00:40:21.300 you know
00:40:21.900 like
00:40:22.080 a
00:40:22.220 second
00:40:22.480 book
00:40:22.800 like
00:40:23.000 squaring
00:40:24.220 the
00:40:24.900 limits
00:40:25.520 of
00:40:26.540 that
00:40:27.380 approach
00:40:27.920 along
00:40:28.780 with
00:40:28.980 the
00:40:29.280 limits
00:40:29.620 of
00:40:29.820 the
00:40:30.020 self
00:40:30.440 you know
00:40:31.180 and if
00:40:31.740 you just
00:40:32.000 stay
00:40:32.280 in yourself
00:40:32.940 all the
00:40:33.480 time
00:40:33.780 you're
00:40:33.960 only
00:40:34.080 going
00:40:34.260 to
00:40:34.320 get
00:40:34.480 so
00:40:34.720 far
00:40:35.080 that
00:40:36.240 would
00:40:36.400 probably
00:40:36.680 be
00:40:36.940 the
00:40:37.120 second
00:40:37.600 big
00:40:38.320 book
00:40:38.620 but
00:40:39.380 you're
00:40:39.660 right
00:40:39.840 on
00:40:40.120 I
00:40:40.280 think
00:40:40.520 as I've
00:40:41.180 gone down
00:40:41.740 this road
00:40:42.080 myself
00:40:42.540 or my
00:40:43.000 work
00:40:43.380 I am
00:40:44.000 increasingly
00:40:45.020 tuned
00:40:45.620 into
00:40:46.120 and it's
00:40:46.920 always a
00:40:47.300 dynamic
00:40:47.700 just as
00:40:48.160 you're
00:40:48.280 saying
00:40:48.580 Sam
00:40:49.000 of this
00:40:49.520 other
00:40:49.940 piece
00:40:50.420 of
00:40:50.620 learning
00:40:53.040 to be
00:40:53.720 okay
00:40:54.220 with what
00:40:54.880 already
00:40:55.480 is
00:40:56.040 front
00:40:57.220 preload
00:40:58.120 your
00:40:58.380 happiness
00:40:58.880 or your
00:40:59.340 peace
00:40:59.740 and then
00:41:00.180 work
00:41:00.440 from
00:41:00.680 there
00:41:01.020 don't
00:41:02.160 this
00:41:02.760 idea
00:41:03.220 of
00:41:03.780 hedging
00:41:04.840 you know
00:41:05.380 leveraging
00:41:06.520 your
00:41:07.340 current
00:41:08.860 peace
00:41:09.500 for
00:41:09.900 some
00:41:10.320 better
00:41:11.000 peace
00:41:11.840 or more
00:41:12.460 happiness
00:41:12.980 down the
00:41:13.360 road
00:41:13.520 this
00:41:13.740 kind
00:41:14.060 of
00:41:14.160 I used
00:41:14.440 to do
00:41:14.700 this a
00:41:15.060 lot
00:41:15.260 with
00:41:15.460 myself
00:41:15.920 and I
00:41:16.220 do it
00:41:17.100 less
00:41:17.320 and less
00:41:17.860 this sort
00:41:18.580 of
00:41:18.760 leveraging
00:41:19.320 the present
00:41:19.880 for some
00:41:20.440 possible
00:41:21.240 future
00:41:21.760 and so
00:41:23.000 I think
00:41:23.380 what your
00:41:23.660 point is
00:41:24.000 just
00:41:24.260 perfect
00:41:24.720 Sam
00:41:25.020 it's
00:41:25.300 it's
00:41:25.740 really
00:41:25.980 not
00:41:26.840 one
00:41:27.180 or the
00:41:27.460 other
00:41:27.700 it's
00:41:28.000 not
00:41:28.180 being
00:41:28.760 or
00:41:29.280 doing
00:41:29.760 it's
00:41:30.200 it's
00:41:31.160 really
00:41:31.620 I think
00:41:32.680 the
00:41:32.940 project
00:41:33.580 ends
00:41:33.920 up
00:41:34.180 being
00:41:34.720 cultivating
00:41:36.360 the
00:41:36.640 good
00:41:37.140 judgment
00:41:37.640 to
00:41:38.640 pull
00:41:39.260 on
00:41:39.500 the
00:41:39.620 right
00:41:39.840 tool
00:41:40.200 and
00:41:41.620 to
00:41:41.880 not
00:41:42.160 see
00:41:42.500 these
00:41:42.820 as
00:41:42.980 a
00:41:43.100 dichotomy
00:41:43.680 it's
00:41:43.880 not
00:41:44.040 being
00:41:44.440 versus
00:41:44.880 doing
00:41:45.320 it's
00:41:45.720 not
00:41:46.060 caring
00:41:47.140 about
00:41:47.460 achievement
00:41:47.960 versus
00:41:48.720 what
00:41:49.100 you know
00:41:49.360 it's
00:41:49.500 not
00:41:49.680 these
00:41:50.240 are
00:41:50.380 false
00:41:50.720 divides
00:41:51.200 you
00:41:51.460 can
00:41:51.640 do
00:41:51.820 both
00:41:52.240 and
00:41:52.400 I
00:41:52.540 think
00:41:52.720 over
00:41:52.900 time
00:41:53.300 what
00:41:53.500 you
00:41:53.620 really
00:41:54.000 a
00:41:54.320 mature
00:41:54.720 person
00:41:55.320 gets
00:41:55.800 to
00:41:56.080 is
00:41:56.460 this
00:41:56.800 sense
00:41:57.320 of
00:41:57.500 judgment
00:41:57.820 of
00:41:58.380 toggling
00:41:59.260 between
00:41:59.700 the
00:41:59.980 two
00:42:00.220 applying
00:42:01.440 these
00:42:02.880 approaches
00:42:03.340 and
00:42:03.580 these
00:42:03.760 mindsets
00:42:04.320 at the
00:42:04.640 right
00:42:04.820 time
00:42:05.200 and
00:42:05.420 holding
00:42:05.780 it
00:42:05.960 all
00:42:06.180 loosely
00:42:06.600 leaving
00:42:07.680 room
00:42:07.940 for
00:42:08.140 things
00:42:08.400 that
00:42:08.560 you
00:42:08.660 just
00:42:08.900 don't
00:42:09.200 understand
00:42:09.940 so
00:42:11.140 there's
00:42:11.440 some
00:42:11.600 like
00:42:11.780 perhaps
00:42:12.220 like
00:42:12.400 a
00:42:12.520 unifying
00:42:13.020 theory
00:42:13.500 out
00:42:13.780 there
00:42:13.980 that
00:42:14.160 we
00:42:14.280 haven't
00:42:14.560 kind
00:42:14.760 of
00:42:14.880 hit
00:42:15.640 on
00:42:15.860 just
00:42:16.100 yet
00:42:16.320 but
00:42:16.560 you
00:42:16.740 move
00:42:17.000 between
00:42:17.440 these
00:42:17.780 valences
00:42:18.460 and
00:42:19.260 that's
00:42:19.520 where
00:42:19.600 so much
00:42:20.000 the
00:42:20.200 action
00:42:20.500 is
00:42:20.680 that's
00:42:20.880 where
00:42:21.000 you
00:42:21.120 stay
00:42:21.300 really
00:42:21.660 I
00:42:22.200 think
00:42:22.320 very
00:42:22.520 present
00:42:22.960 with
00:42:23.260 yourself
00:42:23.760 in
00:42:24.420 real
00:42:24.640 time
00:42:25.080 you
00:42:25.840 can
00:42:26.160 square
00:42:26.860 the
00:42:27.180 expectations
00:42:27.920 of
00:42:28.200 yourself
00:42:28.620 and
00:42:28.880 from
00:42:29.120 others
00:42:29.560 of
00:42:29.820 you
00:42:30.060 and
00:42:30.220 of
00:42:30.340 your
00:42:30.460 life
00:42:30.820 and
00:42:31.220 the
00:42:31.360 potential
00:42:31.760 you
00:42:31.960 have
00:42:32.180 to
00:42:32.340 make
00:42:32.560 something
00:42:32.940 with
00:42:33.200 it
00:42:33.400 with
00:42:34.460 the
00:42:34.740 idea
00:42:35.040 that
00:42:35.260 it's
00:42:35.980 never
00:42:36.180 going
00:42:36.380 to be
00:42:36.580 enough
00:42:36.920 if
00:42:37.160 you're
00:42:37.280 really
00:42:37.500 paying
00:42:37.780 attention
00:42:38.220 there's
00:42:38.920 always
00:42:39.240 more
00:42:39.560 it's
00:42:39.860 always
00:42:40.200 a
00:42:40.400 work
00:42:40.620 in
00:42:40.780 progress
00:42:41.260 so
00:42:41.660 yeah
00:42:42.360 I don't
00:42:42.980 know
00:42:43.100 that I'm
00:42:43.340 saying
00:42:43.580 anything
00:42:44.020 novel
00:42:44.440 there
00:42:44.680 Sam
00:42:44.940 I think
00:42:45.220 you spelled
00:42:45.660 that perfectly
00:42:46.380 but that
00:42:46.920 so much
00:42:47.640 really
00:42:48.100 is as far
00:42:49.000 as I can
00:42:49.380 see
00:42:49.620 is the
00:42:50.060 project
00:42:50.500 yeah
00:42:51.740 yeah
00:42:52.000 well
00:42:52.180 just the
00:42:52.800 being
00:42:53.080 doing
00:42:53.480 opposition
00:42:54.420 lends
00:42:55.200 itself
00:42:55.540 to
00:42:55.840 being
00:42:56.660 while
00:42:57.020 doing
00:42:57.400 right
00:42:58.140 I mean
00:42:58.420 really
00:42:59.420 you can
00:42:59.860 run
00:43:00.240 those
00:43:00.500 two
00:43:00.860 together
00:43:01.900 yeah
00:43:02.420 yeah
00:43:02.880 yeah
00:43:04.240 yeah
00:43:04.780 there's that
00:43:05.300 great phrase
00:43:06.000 life is what
00:43:06.960 happens while
00:43:07.520 you're
00:43:07.680 planning that
00:43:08.220 vacation
00:43:08.720 right
00:43:09.320 I mean
00:43:10.020 we tend
00:43:11.160 to live
00:43:11.860 in any
00:43:12.960 tents
00:43:13.440 but the
00:43:13.820 present
00:43:14.240 we
00:43:14.720 live in
00:43:15.760 the past
00:43:16.320 and feel
00:43:16.700 regret
00:43:17.060 we are
00:43:17.800 planning
00:43:18.200 for the
00:43:18.580 future
00:43:19.060 I remember
00:43:20.020 this
00:43:20.300 there's
00:43:20.760 I don't
00:43:21.300 know if
00:43:21.560 you ever
00:43:21.920 saw that
00:43:22.460 movie
00:43:22.840 Nomadland
00:43:23.780 oh
00:43:24.440 no
00:43:24.680 no
00:43:25.180 oh
00:43:25.500 it's
00:43:25.880 this
00:43:26.140 wonderful
00:43:26.660 movie
00:43:27.040 with
00:43:27.300 Francis
00:43:27.680 McDormand
00:43:28.240 but there's
00:43:28.820 a story
00:43:29.520 it's
00:43:30.040 basically
00:43:30.360 about
00:43:30.680 people
00:43:31.020 who
00:43:31.300 hit
00:43:31.540 the
00:43:31.720 road
00:43:32.100 in
00:43:32.920 vans
00:43:33.940 and are
00:43:34.400 are
00:43:34.820 unhoused
00:43:35.620 and just
00:43:36.100 you know
00:43:36.620 just
00:43:36.920 travel
00:43:37.420 through
00:43:38.120 life
00:43:38.540 and
00:43:40.080 there's
00:43:41.460 one scene
00:43:42.180 in which
00:43:42.540 they're all
00:43:42.980 sitting around
00:43:43.440 the fire
00:43:44.000 at night
00:43:44.540 in essentially
00:43:45.900 the trailer
00:43:46.400 park and
00:43:47.040 telling stories
00:43:48.300 of why
00:43:49.020 they became
00:43:49.540 nomads
00:43:50.180 and one
00:43:51.960 woman 0.99
00:43:52.300 says
00:43:52.900 you know
00:43:53.380 I was
00:43:53.920 working
00:43:54.320 in the
00:43:54.600 corporate
00:43:54.840 world
00:43:55.300 for
00:43:55.720 20
00:43:56.200 years
00:43:56.600 and
00:43:56.880 my
00:43:57.860 boss
00:43:58.340 saved up
00:43:59.480 for
00:43:59.800 a boat
00:44:00.340 which
00:44:01.160 he had
00:44:01.680 parked
00:44:01.980 in his
00:44:02.300 driveway
00:44:02.680 and
00:44:03.140 he kept
00:44:04.400 saying
00:44:04.720 you know
00:44:04.980 I just
00:44:05.380 I can't
00:44:06.100 wait to
00:44:06.480 retire
00:44:06.960 and take
00:44:07.420 this
00:44:07.640 boat
00:44:07.920 out
00:44:08.240 and
00:44:08.580 just
00:44:09.120 set
00:44:09.420 sail
00:44:09.840 and
00:44:10.260 everything
00:44:11.560 was dreaming
00:44:12.320 about
00:44:12.700 this
00:44:12.960 future
00:44:13.440 this
00:44:13.740 imagined
00:44:14.320 future
00:44:14.800 happiness
00:44:15.300 that he
00:44:16.080 was in
00:44:17.080 pursuit
00:44:17.460 of
00:44:17.900 and
00:44:19.020 then of
00:44:19.540 course
00:44:19.760 he
00:44:20.220 got a
00:44:21.860 terminal
00:44:22.140 diagnosis
00:44:22.680 while still
00:44:23.460 at work
00:44:24.040 and a
00:44:25.180 very short
00:44:25.860 window of
00:44:26.420 time
00:44:26.820 and
00:44:27.600 that
00:44:28.140 boat
00:44:28.460 never
00:44:28.800 left
00:44:29.160 the
00:44:29.340 driveway
00:44:29.700 and
00:44:31.700 she
00:44:32.420 says
00:44:32.780 that was
00:44:33.080 the
00:44:33.260 moment
00:44:33.520 that
00:44:33.840 catalyzed
00:44:34.380 her
00:44:34.600 and
00:44:34.820 she
00:44:35.040 was
00:44:35.200 like
00:44:35.420 my
00:44:36.920 life
00:44:37.440 I'm
00:44:38.220 not
00:44:38.360 waiting
00:44:38.620 for
00:44:38.820 my
00:44:39.000 life
00:44:39.200 to
00:44:39.380 start
00:44:39.680 I'm
00:44:40.400 going
00:44:40.520 to
00:44:40.640 start
00:44:41.000 it
00:44:41.140 now
00:44:41.460 and
00:44:41.860 she
00:44:42.120 got
00:44:42.560 in
00:44:42.700 the
00:44:42.800 van
00:44:43.060 and
00:44:43.280 rode
00:44:43.480 off
00:44:43.680 into
00:44:43.820 the
00:44:44.000 sunset
00:44:44.280 and
00:44:45.300 I
00:44:45.420 think
00:44:45.620 there's
00:44:46.440 so
00:44:47.040 much
00:44:47.220 wisdom
00:44:47.580 in
00:44:48.300 so
00:44:48.720 much
00:44:48.960 of
00:44:49.280 the
00:44:50.040 conversations
00:44:50.580 you
00:44:50.900 have
00:44:51.260 about
00:44:51.580 this
00:44:51.940 about
00:44:52.280 that
00:44:52.620 illusory
00:44:53.960 pursuit
00:44:54.540 of
00:44:54.780 some
00:44:55.000 future
00:44:55.540 happiness
00:44:56.080 when
00:44:56.720 really
00:44:57.500 the
00:44:57.740 moment
00:44:58.240 that
00:44:59.000 we
00:44:59.160 have
00:44:59.440 now
00:44:59.820 is
00:45:00.080 the
00:45:00.260 most
00:45:00.620 voluminous
00:45:03.220 opportunity
00:45:03.840 we have
00:45:04.360 for that
00:45:04.840 and
00:45:06.380 I have
00:45:06.960 to say
00:45:07.200 there was
00:45:07.520 a lot
00:45:08.220 of
00:45:08.600 lessons
00:45:09.580 about
00:45:09.940 that
00:45:10.300 in
00:45:10.600 caregiving
00:45:11.180 for
00:45:11.660 me
00:45:12.060 so
00:45:13.440 when I
00:45:13.760 was taking
00:45:14.120 care of
00:45:14.540 my
00:45:14.700 father
00:45:15.080 I
00:45:16.340 really
00:45:16.880 had to
00:45:18.080 investigate
00:45:18.840 the nature
00:45:19.860 of time
00:45:20.600 in a
00:45:21.160 different
00:45:21.380 way
00:45:21.640 I
00:45:21.760 had to
00:45:22.200 really
00:45:22.760 synchronize
00:45:23.860 to
00:45:24.140 his
00:45:24.520 time
00:45:25.040 which
00:45:26.140 was
00:45:26.520 very
00:45:27.300 slow
00:45:28.100 a much
00:45:28.480 slower
00:45:28.880 metabolic
00:45:29.340 rate
00:45:29.720 than I'm
00:45:30.060 certainly
00:45:30.360 used to
00:45:30.740 I'm
00:45:30.940 a really
00:45:31.260 busy
00:45:31.760 full-time
00:45:33.160 working
00:45:33.520 person
00:45:33.960 with two
00:45:34.480 teenagers
00:45:34.940 and
00:45:35.920 we mostly
00:45:37.320 live
00:45:37.960 in
00:45:38.960 chronos
00:45:39.840 that
00:45:40.080 linear
00:45:40.840 clock
00:45:41.540 time
00:45:42.040 of which
00:45:43.240 there's
00:45:43.480 never
00:45:43.740 enough
00:45:44.180 right
00:45:44.640 the
00:45:45.920 stoic
00:45:46.720 philosopher
00:45:47.160 Seneca
00:45:47.600 writes
00:45:48.480 about
00:45:48.680 the
00:45:48.840 shortness
00:45:49.240 of
00:45:49.420 life
00:45:49.780 and
00:45:50.020 you
00:45:50.220 know
00:45:50.300 he
00:45:50.440 postulates
00:45:50.960 that
00:45:51.240 it
00:45:51.540 feels
00:45:52.400 long
00:45:52.980 if you
00:45:53.320 know
00:45:53.420 how
00:45:53.560 to
00:45:53.700 live
00:45:53.900 it
00:45:54.120 you
00:45:54.360 know
00:45:54.500 that
00:45:54.660 you
00:45:54.780 can
00:45:55.040 if
00:45:55.780 you
00:45:56.100 find
00:45:57.160 length
00:45:58.380 in
00:45:58.660 those
00:45:58.880 moments
00:45:59.400 time
00:45:59.780 can
00:45:59.940 be
00:46:00.080 elastic
00:46:00.640 and
00:46:01.340 can
00:46:01.540 expand
00:46:02.100 and
00:46:02.400 contract
00:46:02.880 depending
00:46:03.280 on how
00:46:03.660 we
00:46:03.820 inhabit
00:46:04.240 it
00:46:04.500 so
00:46:04.780 you
00:46:05.300 can
00:46:05.440 either
00:46:05.640 be
00:46:06.080 kind
00:46:06.440 of
00:46:06.560 ravaged
00:46:07.220 by
00:46:07.700 chronos
00:46:09.060 and
00:46:09.220 linear
00:46:09.440 time
00:46:10.520 and it
00:46:10.820 can
00:46:10.940 become
00:46:11.160 very
00:46:11.380 transactional
00:46:12.300 you know
00:46:12.660 we have
00:46:12.900 all these
00:46:13.480 phrases about
00:46:14.220 that time
00:46:14.740 is money
00:46:15.240 and you're
00:46:15.720 wasting
00:46:16.040 time
00:46:16.740 time waits
00:46:18.080 for no
00:46:18.460 one
00:46:18.840 but
00:46:20.180 you know
00:46:21.400 when you
00:46:22.220 are caregiving
00:46:23.060 you really
00:46:23.500 have to
00:46:23.840 slow
00:46:24.160 time
00:46:24.580 down
00:46:25.140 and
00:46:26.380 just
00:46:27.180 be
00:46:27.440 there
00:46:27.760 and
00:46:28.820 there
00:46:29.340 are
00:46:29.500 real
00:46:29.700 depths
00:46:30.180 to
00:46:30.540 plumb
00:46:30.980 I
00:46:31.240 found
00:46:31.660 there
00:46:32.000 you know
00:46:32.300 I would
00:46:32.620 often
00:46:32.860 just
00:46:33.120 end up
00:46:33.480 sitting
00:46:33.720 on the
00:46:34.020 couch
00:46:34.320 with my
00:46:34.720 father
00:46:35.040 holding
00:46:35.440 hands
00:46:36.140 and
00:46:37.300 there
00:46:38.180 was
00:46:38.600 a
00:46:39.280 universe
00:46:39.740 of
00:46:40.000 feeling
00:46:40.340 there
00:46:40.660 that I
00:46:40.960 really
00:46:41.200 hadn't
00:46:41.500 had
00:46:41.760 with
00:46:41.940 my
00:46:42.120 father
00:46:42.420 before
00:46:42.840 because
00:46:43.160 we
00:46:43.320 had
00:46:43.420 had
00:46:43.620 a
00:46:43.760 very
00:46:44.020 heady
00:46:44.380 kind
00:46:44.700 of
00:46:44.900 relationship
00:46:46.260 that
00:46:46.600 was
00:46:46.940 really
00:46:47.420 built
00:46:47.680 on
00:46:48.080 commerce
00:46:48.980 of
00:46:49.140 ideas
00:46:49.540 and
00:46:50.020 just
00:46:50.540 conversation
00:46:51.160 and
00:46:51.520 suddenly
00:46:52.080 he
00:46:52.500 had
00:46:52.660 no
00:46:52.840 use
00:46:53.160 for
00:46:53.340 language
00:46:54.020 no
00:46:55.040 use
00:46:55.360 for
00:46:55.540 hearing
00:46:55.800 about
00:46:56.100 my
00:46:56.380 life
00:46:56.740 and
00:46:56.880 my
00:46:57.040 accomplishments
00:46:57.600 but
00:46:57.980 just
00:46:58.960 sitting
00:46:59.360 and
00:46:59.780 being
00:47:00.120 with
00:47:00.400 him
00:47:00.660 and
00:47:00.820 watching
00:47:01.140 my
00:47:01.400 kids
00:47:01.660 play
00:47:02.100 became
00:47:03.040 this
00:47:03.460 shift
00:47:04.040 in
00:47:04.780 how
00:47:05.580 you
00:47:05.920 inhabit
00:47:06.360 time
00:47:06.800 and
00:47:06.960 feel
00:47:07.240 time
00:47:07.680 and
00:47:07.880 it
00:47:08.700 it's
00:47:09.340 like
00:47:09.600 there's
00:47:10.260 that
00:47:10.440 phrase
00:47:10.760 don't
00:47:11.060 just
00:47:11.220 sit
00:47:11.420 there
00:47:11.620 do
00:47:11.800 something
00:47:12.180 which
00:47:12.620 gets
00:47:13.160 inverted
00:47:13.720 in
00:47:15.200 the
00:47:15.320 most
00:47:15.500 lovely
00:47:15.800 way
00:47:16.080 when
00:47:16.280 you're
00:47:16.420 taking
00:47:16.620 care
00:47:16.860 of
00:47:17.020 someone
00:47:17.320 who
00:47:17.520 needs
00:47:17.740 quiet
00:47:18.100 and
00:47:18.300 it
00:47:18.560 turns
00:47:18.860 into
00:47:19.140 don't
00:47:19.620 just
00:47:19.800 do
00:47:20.080 something
00:47:20.580 sit
00:47:21.500 there
00:47:21.800 yeah
00:47:22.720 so
00:47:24.420 okay
00:47:24.780 so
00:47:25.000 we can
00:47:25.740 we're
00:47:26.720 really
00:47:27.060 talking
00:47:27.400 about
00:47:27.600 both
00:47:27.840 sides
00:47:28.160 of
00:47:28.280 this
00:47:28.480 but
00:47:28.840 I
00:47:29.860 think
00:47:29.980 it's
00:47:30.100 useful
00:47:30.320 to
00:47:30.660 acknowledge
00:47:31.420 how
00:47:32.280 different
00:47:32.840 they
00:47:33.920 are
00:47:34.240 even
00:47:34.460 though
00:47:34.820 they
00:47:35.640 both
00:47:35.940 come
00:47:36.140 to
00:47:36.280 mind
00:47:36.540 when
00:47:36.700 we
00:47:36.840 talk
00:47:37.080 about
00:47:37.300 death
00:47:37.660 and
00:47:38.360 there's
00:47:38.600 the
00:47:38.800 difference
00:47:39.480 between
00:47:39.900 being
00:47:40.440 the
00:47:40.620 one
00:47:40.840 dying
00:47:41.300 and 0.97
00:47:42.000 being
00:47:42.480 among
00:47:43.460 the
00:47:43.780 bereaved
00:47:44.860 or
00:47:45.240 soon
00:47:45.680 to be
00:47:45.920 bereaved
00:47:46.860 and
00:47:47.240 they're
00:47:47.700 just
00:47:47.880 they're
00:47:48.340 very
00:47:48.740 different
00:47:49.420 experiences
00:47:50.620 obviously
00:47:51.880 I can
00:47:52.140 only
00:47:52.280 talk
00:47:52.540 about
00:47:52.820 one
00:47:53.280 of
00:47:53.400 them
00:47:53.580 but
00:47:53.920 BJ
00:47:55.700 you
00:47:55.960 have
00:47:56.140 seen
00:47:56.560 both
00:47:57.740 for
00:47:58.500 years
00:47:58.840 and
00:47:59.000 years
00:47:59.280 and
00:47:59.520 I
00:47:59.920 can
00:48:00.060 imagine
00:48:00.360 you've
00:48:00.580 seen
00:48:00.880 hundreds
00:48:01.900 if not
00:48:02.280 thousands
00:48:02.640 of
00:48:02.840 people
00:48:03.120 die
00:48:04.260 and 1.00
00:48:04.920 that
00:48:05.600 many
00:48:05.800 families
00:48:06.380 and
00:48:07.320 circles
00:48:08.020 of
00:48:08.180 friends
00:48:08.500 go
00:48:08.880 through
00:48:09.340 the
00:48:09.740 bereavement
00:48:10.080 process
00:48:10.560 I
00:48:11.300 think
00:48:11.900 we
00:48:12.020 should
00:48:12.120 cover
00:48:12.420 any
00:48:13.000 side
00:48:13.320 of
00:48:13.420 it
00:48:13.520 you
00:48:13.600 want
00:48:13.880 to
00:48:14.020 but
00:48:14.240 perhaps
00:48:14.780 we
00:48:14.960 can
00:48:15.080 start
00:48:15.560 with
00:48:16.180 and
00:48:16.600 this
00:48:16.760 is
00:48:16.860 sort
00:48:17.040 of
00:48:17.160 where
00:48:17.320 your
00:48:17.600 book
00:48:18.340 starts
00:48:19.420 with
00:48:20.580 advice
00:48:21.200 for
00:48:21.880 healthy
00:48:23.260 people
00:48:23.680 for
00:48:23.960 whom
00:48:24.240 death
00:48:24.640 is
00:48:24.860 still
00:48:25.240 fairly
00:48:26.200 hypothetical
00:48:27.040 right
00:48:28.140 I mean
00:48:28.300 they may
00:48:28.540 have
00:48:28.680 had
00:48:28.860 someone
00:48:29.100 close
00:48:29.440 to
00:48:29.540 them 1.00
00:48:29.660 die 1.00
00:48:29.900 at 0.99
00:48:30.020 some
00:48:30.180 point
00:48:30.420 but
00:48:30.640 they're
00:48:31.320 not
00:48:31.500 dealing
00:48:31.820 with
00:48:32.040 it
00:48:32.140 now
00:48:32.440 and
00:48:32.680 life
00:48:33.240 is
00:48:33.560 quote
00:48:34.520 normal
00:48:34.920 and
00:48:35.840 you
00:48:36.620 haven't
00:48:36.920 been
00:48:37.180 dragged
00:48:38.040 into
00:48:38.340 the
00:48:38.700 kingdom
00:48:39.780 of
00:48:40.160 mortality
00:48:41.120 which
00:48:41.600 happens
00:48:42.020 the moment
00:48:42.380 your
00:48:42.640 day
00:48:43.340 is
00:48:43.480 now
00:48:43.840 going
00:48:44.540 to be
00:48:44.680 spent
00:48:44.900 at
00:48:45.020 a
00:48:45.140 hospital
00:48:45.520 whether
00:48:46.240 for
00:48:46.440 your
00:48:46.580 own
00:48:46.740 illness
00:48:47.060 or
00:48:47.320 the
00:48:47.720 illness
00:48:48.040 of
00:48:48.260 someone
00:48:48.980 you
00:48:49.140 love
00:48:49.400 so
00:48:50.300 let's
00:48:51.400 talk
00:48:51.580 about
00:48:51.740 normal
00:48:52.080 life
00:48:52.420 what
00:48:52.700 do
00:48:53.120 you
00:48:53.300 both
00:48:53.780 advise
00:48:54.660 people
00:48:55.020 to
00:48:55.320 do
00:48:56.160 now
00:48:56.960 well
00:48:58.360 so
00:48:58.560 maybe
00:48:58.780 I'll
00:48:58.960 set
00:48:59.180 us
00:48:59.340 up
00:48:59.520 here
00:48:59.800 if
00:48:59.980 that's
00:49:00.160 all
00:49:00.280 right
00:49:00.460 and
00:49:00.700 we
00:49:01.460 can
00:49:01.640 play
00:49:02.120 together
00:49:02.440 on
00:49:02.600 this
00:49:02.760 one
00:49:02.920 too
00:49:03.160 I
00:49:04.920 couple
00:49:05.620 thoughts
00:49:06.020 you
00:49:06.520 know
00:49:06.640 one
00:49:07.040 is
00:49:07.220 just
00:49:07.380 to
00:49:07.580 get
00:49:07.720 to
00:49:07.900 your
00:49:08.060 you
00:49:08.320 know
00:49:08.420 the
00:49:08.540 pretext
00:49:08.940 of
00:49:09.040 your
00:49:09.120 question
00:49:09.520 Sam
00:49:09.880 it's
00:49:10.180 yeah
00:49:10.820 you
00:49:11.600 could
00:49:12.020 very
00:49:12.380 easily
00:49:12.860 and
00:49:13.180 well
00:49:13.480 make
00:49:13.780 the
00:49:13.920 argument
00:49:14.180 when
00:49:14.440 do
00:49:14.560 we
00:49:14.680 begin
00:49:14.960 dying 0.92
00:49:15.400 you
00:49:15.660 know
00:49:15.740 you
00:49:15.940 could
00:49:16.260 certain
00:49:16.840 they
00:49:18.820 were
00:49:19.040 born
00:49:19.500 somewhere
00:49:20.560 after our
00:49:21.120 brain
00:49:21.380 stopped
00:49:21.660 developing
00:49:22.140 if they
00:49:22.560 ever
00:49:22.700 do
00:49:22.940 you
00:49:23.200 know
00:49:23.340 pick
00:49:23.600 a
00:49:23.740 but
00:49:24.220 that
00:49:24.440 that
00:49:24.700 that
00:49:25.120 that
00:49:25.460 that's
00:49:25.860 an
00:49:25.980 evasive
00:49:26.380 answer
00:49:26.940 there
00:49:27.540 is
00:49:27.900 something
00:49:28.780 different
00:49:29.800 about
00:49:30.360 when
00:49:31.620 your
00:49:32.140 horizon
00:49:34.920 when you
00:49:35.540 have
00:49:35.860 when
00:49:36.060 you
00:49:36.180 know
00:49:36.460 the
00:49:36.680 thing
00:49:36.920 that's
00:49:37.180 going
00:49:37.320 to
00:49:37.420 end
00:49:37.620 your
00:49:37.780 life
00:49:38.180 it's
00:49:38.760 not
00:49:39.040 it's
00:49:39.340 just
00:49:39.660 it's
00:49:40.420 more
00:49:40.560 of a
00:49:40.800 spectrum
00:49:41.200 as you
00:49:41.620 move
00:49:41.900 from
00:49:42.160 abstraction
00:49:42.760 to
00:49:43.140 reality
00:49:43.620 but
00:49:44.520 there
00:49:44.680 are
00:49:44.820 meaningful
00:49:45.200 differences
00:49:45.740 from
00:49:46.060 someone
00:49:46.440 who's
00:49:46.740 at
00:49:46.860 the
00:49:46.980 end
00:49:47.120 stages
00:49:47.520 of
00:49:47.900 an
00:49:48.260 illness
00:49:48.640 and
00:49:48.920 dying
00:49:49.620 at
00:49:49.780 any
00:49:49.960 moment
00:49:50.360 from
00:49:51.060 someone
00:49:51.440 who's
00:49:51.680 walking
00:49:52.040 around
00:49:52.420 talking
00:49:52.880 and
00:49:53.200 otherwise
00:49:54.180 in good
00:49:54.700 health
00:49:55.040 per se
00:49:55.520 et cetera
00:49:55.920 so
00:49:56.220 your
00:49:57.900 question
00:49:58.280 alone
00:49:58.540 brings up
00:49:58.940 a lot
00:49:59.140 of good
00:49:59.360 points
00:49:59.680 but let's
00:50:00.080 just hold
00:50:00.500 that
00:50:00.760 there's
00:50:01.060 a
00:50:01.220 difference
00:50:01.500 between
00:50:02.040 sort
00:50:02.960 of
00:50:03.020 the
00:50:03.140 acute
00:50:04.180 or
00:50:04.440 near
00:50:04.860 term
00:50:05.160 dying
00:50:05.560 phase
00:50:06.020 and
00:50:06.260 the
00:50:06.740 rest
00:50:06.940 of
00:50:07.100 life
00:50:07.360 and
00:50:08.120 you
00:50:08.240 see
00:50:08.360 that
00:50:08.540 in
00:50:08.660 the
00:50:08.800 body
00:50:09.140 you
00:50:09.480 know
00:50:09.580 one
00:50:09.840 you
00:50:10.100 know
00:50:10.240 one
00:50:10.460 of
00:50:10.560 our
00:50:10.700 chapters
00:50:11.040 is
00:50:11.320 on
00:50:11.560 final
00:50:11.960 days
00:50:12.420 when
00:50:12.660 things
00:50:14.340 rules
00:50:15.520 of
00:50:15.760 thumb
00:50:16.040 that
00:50:16.260 guide
00:50:16.580 you
00:50:16.760 through
00:50:16.900 the
00:50:17.020 rest
00:50:17.200 of
00:50:17.340 life
00:50:17.540 no
00:50:17.740 longer
00:50:17.980 really
00:50:18.300 apply
00:50:18.760 you
00:50:19.220 know
00:50:19.360 food
00:50:19.700 and
00:50:19.900 water
00:50:20.200 goes
00:50:20.580 from
00:50:20.820 something
00:50:21.320 of
00:50:21.840 sustenance
00:50:22.880 to
00:50:23.060 something
00:50:23.320 that
00:50:23.500 actually
00:50:23.780 can
00:50:24.020 hurt
00:50:24.240 you
00:50:24.400 for
00:50:24.580 example
00:50:25.040 so
00:50:25.880 there's
00:50:26.080 some
00:50:26.260 other
00:50:26.460 examples
00:50:26.960 in the
00:50:27.300 world
00:50:27.520 of
00:50:27.700 physiology
00:50:28.320 but
00:50:28.680 so
00:50:29.680 but
00:50:30.400 let's
00:50:30.940 take
00:50:31.280 so
00:50:31.780 that's
00:50:32.420 all
00:50:32.620 behind
00:50:33.220 your
00:50:33.440 question
00:50:33.880 but
00:50:34.160 let's
00:50:34.440 get
00:50:34.640 to
00:50:34.920 the
00:50:35.140 to
00:50:35.540 your
00:50:35.640 question
00:50:36.020 so
00:50:36.340 you
00:50:37.160 know
00:50:37.360 one
00:50:38.160 of
00:50:38.240 the
00:50:38.300 reasons
00:50:38.580 why
00:50:38.880 and
00:50:39.120 by
00:50:39.240 the
00:50:39.320 way
00:50:39.480 let's
00:50:39.780 give
00:50:39.900 Shosham
00:50:40.320 credit
00:50:40.540 it was
00:50:40.760 her
00:50:40.960 idea
00:50:41.180 to
00:50:41.320 write
00:50:41.500 this
00:50:41.740 book
00:50:42.040 and
00:50:42.200 it
00:50:42.300 was
00:50:42.420 a
00:50:42.560 terrifying
00:50:42.960 prospect
00:50:43.580 but
00:50:44.000 we
00:50:44.520 both
00:50:44.840 it
00:50:45.060 was
00:50:45.160 an
00:50:45.260 easy
00:50:45.480 thing
00:50:45.840 for
00:50:46.020 me
00:50:54.020 lot
00:50:54.160 of
00:50:54.300 unnecessary
00:50:54.800 suffering
00:50:55.580 and
00:50:56.340 it
00:50:56.460 was
00:50:56.580 also
00:50:57.760 a joy
00:50:58.220 to
00:50:58.420 write
00:50:58.700 with
00:50:59.100 Shosh 0.99
00:50:59.480 in so
00:50:59.860 many
00:51:00.020 ways
00:51:00.300 as a
00:51:01.180 layperson
00:51:01.740 as a
00:51:02.160 caregiver
00:51:02.560 as a
00:51:03.000 design
00:51:03.340 thinker
00:51:03.820 not
00:51:04.560 as a
00:51:04.900 clinician
00:51:05.240 so
00:51:05.700 just
00:51:06.520 wanted
00:51:06.740 to
00:51:06.900 get
00:51:07.100 that
00:51:07.340 out
00:51:07.520 there
00:51:07.700 too
00:51:08.020 so
00:51:08.760 you
00:51:09.220 know
00:51:09.420 and
00:51:10.180 I'll
00:51:10.320 cut
00:51:10.480 to
00:51:10.580 you
00:51:10.720 Shosh 0.99
00:51:10.900 in
00:51:11.040 a
00:51:11.120 second
00:51:11.300 because
00:51:11.560 a lot
00:51:11.900 of
00:51:12.000 your
00:51:12.120 work
00:51:12.360 was
00:51:12.500 some
00:51:12.680 of
00:51:12.800 those
00:51:12.940 early
00:51:13.200 chapters
00:51:13.720 but
00:51:14.520 just
00:51:14.720 to
00:51:14.920 say
00:51:15.300 you
00:51:16.160 know
00:51:16.400 the
00:51:16.840 reasons
00:51:17.520 to
00:51:18.120 write
00:51:19.060 a
00:51:19.200 book
00:51:24.020 your
00:51:24.300 early
00:51:25.380 in
00:51:25.560 life
00:51:25.880 the
00:51:26.860 thesis
00:51:27.220 is
00:51:27.460 don't
00:51:27.840 wait
00:51:28.120 until
00:51:28.360 that
00:51:28.580 diagnosis
00:51:29.260 to
00:51:29.720 realize
00:51:30.160 you're
00:51:30.400 mortal
00:51:30.720 if
00:51:30.940 you
00:51:31.060 can
00:51:31.400 invite
00:51:32.760 the
00:51:33.240 truth
00:51:33.800 of
00:51:34.160 death
00:51:34.840 into 0.98
00:51:35.220 your
00:51:35.460 life
00:51:35.720 earlier
00:51:36.200 and
00:51:37.220 you'll
00:51:37.500 receive
00:51:37.860 its
00:51:38.100 lessons
00:51:38.500 and
00:51:39.720 on
00:51:39.920 practical
00:51:40.320 terms
00:51:40.860 there
00:51:41.420 are
00:51:41.540 some
00:51:41.700 things
00:51:42.080 any
00:51:42.340 of
00:51:42.480 us
00:51:42.620 can
00:51:42.800 do
00:51:43.000 early
00:51:43.340 in
00:51:43.540 life
00:51:43.780 that
00:51:43.980 will
00:51:44.160 prepare
00:51:44.580 us
00:51:44.960 for
00:51:45.400 our
00:51:45.680 eventual
00:51:46.080 death
00:51:46.540 in
00:51:46.780 some
00:51:47.000 real
00:51:47.220 practical
00:51:47.680 ways
00:51:48.080 so
00:51:48.340 one
00:51:49.100 thing
00:51:49.260 to
00:51:49.400 realize
00:51:49.740 is
00:51:49.980 our
00:51:50.140 healthcare
00:51:50.480 system
00:51:51.120 the
00:51:52.400 default
00:51:54.020 system
00:51:54.340 are
00:51:54.700 to
00:51:55.220 put
00:51:56.000 you
00:51:56.120 on
00:51:56.260 machines
00:51:56.780 take
00:51:57.200 you
00:51:57.300 to
00:51:57.380 ICU
00:51:57.820 do
00:51:58.380 everything
00:51:58.840 humanly
00:51:59.320 possible
00:51:59.800 to
00:52:00.320 keep
00:52:00.620 your
00:52:00.760 heart
00:52:01.040 beating
00:52:01.500 and
00:52:02.680 in
00:52:02.900 the
00:52:03.320 world
00:52:03.580 of
00:52:03.760 medicine
00:52:04.100 again
00:52:04.400 a
00:52:04.560 very
00:52:04.760 reductive
00:52:05.260 very
00:52:05.460 powerful
00:52:06.000 but
00:52:06.240 very
00:52:06.480 reductive
00:52:07.060 lens
00:52:07.460 onto
00:52:07.720 life
00:52:08.460 basically
00:52:09.620 holds
00:52:10.000 that
00:52:10.160 if
00:52:10.240 you
00:52:10.320 got
00:52:10.440 a
00:52:10.540 heartbeat
00:52:10.840 you're
00:52:11.100 alive
00:52:11.500 essentially
00:52:12.160 some
00:52:12.780 brain
00:52:13.220 activity
00:52:13.640 you're
00:52:13.800 alive
00:52:14.160 most
00:52:14.920 of us
00:52:15.220 wouldn't
00:52:15.520 consider
00:52:15.920 that
00:52:16.220 living
00:52:17.100 by
00:52:17.560 some
00:52:17.860 definition
00:52:18.480 but
00:52:19.360 that's
00:52:19.640 the
00:52:19.760 healthcare
00:52:20.060 definition
00:52:20.660 so
00:52:21.160 if
00:52:21.500 you
00:52:21.720 don't
00:52:22.200 do
00:52:22.460 say
00:52:22.800 an
00:52:22.940 advanced
00:52:23.300 directive
00:52:23.740 you
00:52:24.600 run
00:52:24.840 the
00:52:25.000 risk
00:52:25.320 of
00:52:25.600 just
00:52:25.840 falling
00:52:26.180 down
00:52:26.420 the
00:52:26.600 default
00:52:27.040 path
00:52:27.440 of
00:52:27.600 medicine
00:52:27.920 and
00:52:28.100 ending
00:52:28.320 up
00:52:28.620 in
00:52:28.900 the
00:52:29.060 situations
00:52:29.560 you
00:52:29.800 probably
00:52:30.220 don't
00:52:30.500 want
00:52:30.660 to
00:52:30.740 be
00:52:30.900 in
00:52:31.060 or
00:52:31.240 you
00:52:31.360 might
00:52:31.620 not
00:52:31.860 want
00:52:32.060 to
00:52:32.140 be
00:52:32.280 in
00:52:32.460 so
00:52:32.740 there's
00:52:33.600 a
00:52:34.080 big
00:52:34.260 reason
00:52:34.520 to
00:52:34.680 think
00:52:34.880 about
00:52:35.100 it
00:52:35.220 so
00:52:35.400 you
00:52:35.700 can
00:52:36.020 get
00:52:36.260 the
00:52:36.440 sort
00:52:36.580 of
00:52:36.700 death
00:52:36.980 that
00:52:37.220 suits
00:52:37.860 you
00:52:38.160 another
00:52:38.980 reason
00:52:39.280 of
00:52:39.420 course
00:52:39.680 is
00:52:39.980 to
00:52:40.740 prepare
00:52:41.100 for
00:52:41.400 it
00:52:41.520 so
00:52:41.700 that
00:52:41.960 it's
00:52:42.480 kind
00:52:42.720 of
00:52:42.780 one
00:52:42.900 of
00:52:42.960 the
00:52:43.080 kind
00:52:43.360 est
00:52:43.520 things
00:52:43.720 you
00:52:43.880 can
00:52:44.060 do
00:52:44.220 for
00:52:44.400 your
00:52:44.540 family
00:52:44.940 and
00:52:45.180 friends
00:52:45.560 people
00:52:46.040 who
00:52:46.280 will
00:52:46.460 live
00:52:46.640 on
00:52:46.820 after
00:52:47.100 you
00:52:47.260 if
00:52:47.400 you've
00:52:47.700 stated
00:52:48.100 your
00:52:48.380 wishes
00:52:48.820 if
00:52:49.920 you've
00:52:50.140 made
00:52:50.280 it
00:52:50.420 clear
00:52:50.660 how
00:52:50.900 you
00:52:51.080 want
00:52:51.260 to
00:52:51.360 go
00:52:51.540 out
00:52:51.840 then
00:52:52.860 you
00:52:52.960 take
00:52:53.140 so
00:52:53.320 much
00:52:53.500 guesswork
00:52:53.980 out
00:52:54.180 of
00:52:54.260 the
00:52:54.400 people
00:52:54.800 who
00:52:54.940 will
00:52:55.080 survive
00:52:55.460 you
00:52:55.680 and
00:52:55.920 you
00:52:56.020 can
00:52:56.160 ease
00:52:56.500 their
00:52:56.720 grief
00:52:57.080 but
00:52:58.360 the
00:52:58.540 third
00:52:58.800 reason
00:52:59.120 to
00:52:59.260 do
00:52:59.420 all
00:52:59.560 this
00:52:59.760 stuff
00:53:00.060 I
00:53:00.180 think
00:53:00.320 it's
00:53:00.460 the
00:53:00.600 best
00:53:00.900 or
00:53:01.020 the
00:53:01.140 biggest
00:53:01.500 or
00:53:01.780 something
00:53:02.200 like
00:53:02.440 that
00:53:02.700 is
00:53:03.680 what
00:53:04.760 we've
00:53:04.980 touched
00:53:05.180 on
00:53:05.440 once
00:53:06.080 you
00:53:06.240 realize
00:53:07.040 you
00:53:07.900 will 0.99
00:53:08.180 die 1.00
00:53:08.520 at 0.99
00:53:08.700 some
00:53:08.880 point
00:53:09.240 you
00:53:10.400 in a
00:53:10.840 sense
00:53:11.040 can
00:53:11.200 start
00:53:11.440 really
00:53:11.700 living
00:53:12.000 and
00:53:13.060 I
00:53:13.200 have
00:53:13.340 seen
00:53:13.540 that
00:53:13.760 play
00:53:14.000 out
00:53:14.160 a
00:53:14.360 zillion
00:53:14.640 times
00:53:15.020 over
00:53:15.240 in
00:53:15.380 my
00:53:15.540 own
00:53:15.780 life
00:53:16.060 and
00:53:16.180 others
00:53:16.660 and
00:53:17.480 so
00:53:17.620 that's
00:53:18.420 the
00:53:18.560 setup
00:53:18.820 that's
00:53:19.140 why
00:53:19.700 prepare
00:53:21.220 otherwise
00:53:21.840 gosh
00:53:22.340 you just
00:53:22.640 say
00:53:22.880 people
00:53:23.960 have been
00:53:24.180 dying
00:53:24.440 forever
00:53:24.880 it's
00:53:25.900 a natural
00:53:26.280 thing
00:53:26.620 when my
00:53:27.080 turn 0.91
00:53:27.340 to die 1.00
00:53:27.720 I'll 1.00
00:53:27.960 die 1.00
00:53:30.600 us
00:53:30.780 about
00:53:31.040 this
00:53:31.300 well
00:53:31.520 we
00:53:31.780 need
00:53:31.900 a
00:53:32.040 book
00:53:32.160 to
00:53:32.300 tell
00:53:32.460 us
00:53:32.580 about
00:53:32.780 this
00:53:33.000 because
00:53:33.160 we've
00:53:33.400 invented
00:53:33.940 structures
00:53:35.380 and
00:53:35.740 systems
00:53:36.220 that
00:53:36.920 make
00:53:37.840 certain
00:53:38.580 inevitabilities
00:53:39.560 in life
00:53:40.000 a little
00:53:40.420 inhospitable
00:53:41.620 and shaky
00:53:42.300 and
00:53:42.560 counterintuitive
00:53:43.340 so
00:53:44.160 anyway
00:53:44.780 over to
00:53:45.060 you
00:53:45.200 Shosh 0.99
00:53:45.420 maybe
00:53:45.680 on some
00:53:46.060 of the
00:53:46.240 advanced
00:53:46.520 planning
00:53:46.960 and other
00:53:47.280 things
00:53:47.700 sure
00:53:48.960 well
00:53:49.240 is
00:53:49.480 that
00:53:49.900 I
00:53:50.120 just
00:53:50.340 want
00:53:50.460 to
00:53:50.560 make
00:53:50.720 sure
00:53:50.920 we're
00:53:51.220 answering
00:53:51.560 your
00:53:51.780 question
00:53:52.140 here
00:53:52.360 Sam
00:53:52.620 is
00:53:52.860 that
00:53:53.020 really
00:53:53.340 it
00:53:53.660 about
00:53:54.000 like
00:53:54.440 how
00:53:54.860 you
00:53:55.020 prepare
00:53:55.380 yourself
00:53:55.820 for
00:53:56.020 this
00:54:00.600 I
00:54:00.980 think
00:54:01.140 it's
00:54:01.300 natural
00:54:01.760 for
00:54:02.220 people
00:54:02.580 who
00:54:02.920 are
00:54:03.280 healthy
00:54:04.100 right
00:54:04.520 and
00:54:04.920 for
00:54:05.300 whom
00:54:05.540 there's
00:54:06.700 nothing
00:54:07.380 bad
00:54:07.800 on this
00:54:08.100 front
00:54:08.320 has
00:54:08.480 happened
00:54:08.880 yet
00:54:09.380 to
00:54:10.220 want
00:54:11.800 to
00:54:11.960 use
00:54:12.220 that
00:54:12.460 time
00:54:12.900 to
00:54:13.220 think
00:54:13.560 about
00:54:13.900 everything
00:54:15.020 other
00:54:15.620 than
00:54:16.000 planning
00:54:16.900 for
00:54:17.700 the
00:54:18.640 inevitable
00:54:19.000 even
00:54:19.900 if
00:54:20.060 they
00:54:20.260 could
00:54:20.680 pay
00:54:20.820 lip
00:54:21.060 service
00:54:21.360 to
00:54:21.580 the
00:54:21.800 understanding
00:54:22.820 that
00:54:23.200 it
00:54:23.420 is
00:54:23.580 inevitable
00:54:23.960 it's
00:54:24.420 just
00:54:24.680 you
00:54:25.120 know
00:54:25.240 there
00:54:25.380 are
00:54:25.720 many
00:54:25.900 people
00:54:26.180 who
00:54:26.600 don't
00:54:27.000 have
00:54:27.180 wills
00:54:27.740 and
00:54:27.880 even
00:54:28.040 if
00:54:28.200 you
00:54:28.280 have
00:54:28.440 a
00:54:28.600 will
00:54:28.860 that
00:54:29.080 really
00:54:30.600 every
00:54:31.280 aspect
00:54:31.680 of
00:54:31.880 planning
00:54:32.260 you
00:54:33.260 deal
00:54:33.460 with
00:54:33.580 in
00:54:33.660 your
00:54:33.780 book
00:54:34.020 and
00:54:34.140 again
00:54:34.340 the
00:54:34.940 checklist
00:54:36.040 aspect
00:54:36.600 of
00:54:36.940 this
00:54:37.200 I
00:54:37.720 think
00:54:37.840 is
00:54:37.960 best
00:54:38.220 delivered
00:54:38.640 by
00:54:39.060 your
00:54:39.220 book
00:54:39.540 not
00:54:39.760 so
00:54:39.940 much
00:54:40.140 by
00:54:40.400 audio
00:54:40.740 but
00:54:41.000 I
00:54:41.560 think
00:54:41.720 some
00:54:41.920 of
00:54:42.000 the
00:54:42.120 big
00:54:42.480 points
00:54:42.920 are
00:54:43.100 worth
00:54:43.460 talking
00:54:44.240 about
00:54:44.580 for
00:54:44.860 instance
00:54:45.120 the
00:54:45.380 advanced
00:54:46.440 directive
00:54:46.880 I
00:54:47.880 love
00:54:48.340 your
00:54:48.560 take
00:54:49.060 on it
00:54:49.300 as well
00:54:49.560 Shoshana
00:54:49.940 but
00:54:50.180 I'm
00:54:50.780 also
00:54:50.960 wondering
00:54:51.280 if
00:54:51.500 the
00:54:51.720 physician's
00:54:52.560 eye
00:54:52.740 view
00:54:53.160 of
00:54:53.920 death
00:54:54.340 having
00:54:54.780 seen
00:54:55.180 many
00:54:55.560 many
00:54:55.760 people
00:54:56.040 die
00:54:56.540 could
00:55:00.600 resuscitation
00:55:02.220 or
00:55:02.420 not
00:55:02.840 etc
00:55:03.840 well
00:55:05.900 I'm
00:55:06.260 definitely
00:55:06.620 going to
00:55:07.340 hand
00:55:07.640 that
00:55:07.840 one
00:55:08.000 over
00:55:08.180 to
00:55:08.360 BJ
00:55:08.620 but
00:55:09.000 I'll
00:55:09.260 just
00:55:09.480 say
00:55:09.720 from
00:55:10.140 my
00:55:11.060 perspective
00:55:11.520 in
00:55:12.580 writing
00:55:13.100 the
00:55:13.320 book
00:55:13.500 and
00:55:13.680 talking
00:55:14.020 to
00:55:14.240 hundreds
00:55:14.600 of
00:55:14.900 people
00:55:15.320 about
00:55:16.060 how
00:55:17.040 to
00:55:17.280 kind
00:55:17.520 of
00:55:17.680 grapple
00:55:18.140 with
00:55:18.480 this
00:55:18.880 experience
00:55:19.420 it's
00:55:20.540 so
00:55:20.740 taboo
00:55:21.340 in
00:55:21.620 our
00:55:21.740 culture
00:55:22.100 and
00:55:22.560 you're
00:55:23.260 absolutely
00:55:23.560 right
00:55:23.820 we
00:55:24.000 don't
00:55:24.440 want
00:55:24.780 to
00:55:24.900 think
00:55:25.080 about
00:55:25.320 it
00:55:25.440 we
00:55:25.600 don't
00:55:25.920 talk
00:55:26.220 about
00:55:26.480 it
00:55:26.620 we
00:55:26.800 don't
00:55:27.120 have
00:55:27.400 conversations
00:55:28.080 about
00:55:28.580 it
00:55:28.820 we have
00:55:29.460 a
00:55:29.600 colleague
00:55:30.040 Jessica
00:55:30.540 Zitter
00:55:30.820 who
00:55:31.660 is a
00:55:31.920 palliative
00:55:32.200 care
00:55:32.440 doc
00:55:32.760 and
00:55:32.920 an
00:55:33.060 ER
00:55:33.240 doc
00:55:33.580 and
00:55:33.760 she
00:55:34.120 actually
00:55:34.560 wants
00:55:34.860 to
00:55:35.040 institute 0.98
00:55:35.620 death 0.98
00:55:36.420 ed
00:55:36.860 in
00:55:37.220 schools
00:55:37.840 as a
00:55:38.440 counterpart
00:55:40.880 to
00:55:41.300 sex
00:55:41.580 ed
00:55:41.880 because
00:55:42.620 we
00:55:42.980 really
00:55:43.260 do
00:55:43.480 think
00:55:43.780 that
00:55:44.080 it
00:55:44.720 should
00:55:44.920 be
00:55:45.440 just
00:55:45.900 a
00:55:46.160 conversation
00:55:46.620 that
00:55:46.840 we
00:55:46.940 have
00:55:47.120 throughout
00:55:47.420 life
00:55:47.740 and
00:55:47.880 there
00:55:48.020 are
00:55:48.120 so
00:55:48.300 many
00:55:48.480 different
00:55:48.760 touch
00:55:49.080 points
00:55:49.380 throughout
00:55:49.640 life
00:55:49.960 when
00:55:50.140 it's
00:55:50.300 appropriate
00:55:50.760 like
00:55:51.180 when
00:55:51.480 your
00:55:51.700 kid
00:55:52.180 goes
00:55:52.660 and
00:55:52.920 becomes
00:55:53.500 a
00:55:53.860 driver
00:55:54.180 and
00:55:54.400 takes
00:55:54.600 his
00:55:54.760 driver's
00:55:55.220 test
00:55:55.500 and
00:55:57.140 has
00:55:57.360 to
00:55:57.560 choose
00:55:58.280 whether
00:55:58.500 or not
00:55:58.920 they
00:55:59.260 want
00:55:59.440 to
00:55:59.540 become
00:55:59.780 an
00:55:59.940 organ
00:56:00.160 donor
00:56:00.540 great
00:56:03.040 opportunity
00:56:03.760 to start
00:56:04.360 talking
00:56:04.740 about
00:56:05.140 yes
00:56:06.540 there is
00:56:07.020 a
00:56:07.200 possibility
00:56:08.200 that
00:56:08.560 when
00:56:08.720 you
00:56:08.840 get
00:56:09.000 behind
00:56:09.300 that
00:56:09.520 wheel
00:56:09.820 you
00:56:10.320 will
00:56:11.440 get
00:56:11.680 in
00:56:11.840 an
00:56:12.020 accident
00:56:12.340 and
00:56:12.680 let's
00:56:12.960 think
00:56:13.180 about
00:56:13.920 what
00:56:14.680 you
00:56:14.880 might
00:56:15.160 offer
00:56:16.700 the
00:56:16.980 world
00:56:17.380 in
00:56:18.100 a
00:56:18.220 very
00:56:18.400 generous
00:56:18.720 way
00:56:19.220 if
00:56:19.480 that
00:56:19.660 happens
00:56:20.240 so
00:56:20.880 there's
00:56:21.220 so
00:56:21.700 many
00:56:22.060 opening
00:56:22.780 gambits
00:56:23.340 throughout
00:56:23.640 life
00:56:24.140 when
00:56:24.760 you
00:56:24.880 can
00:56:25.000 have
00:56:25.180 this
00:56:25.360 conversation
00:56:25.840 but
00:56:26.100 I'll
00:56:26.240 just
00:56:26.400 say
00:56:26.580 that
00:56:26.780 there
00:56:27.020 are
00:56:28.020 a
00:56:28.220 couple
00:56:28.460 of
00:56:28.680 different
00:56:28.920 things
00:56:29.180 we
00:56:29.320 talk
00:56:29.560 about
00:56:29.780 in
00:56:29.880 the
00:56:30.000 book
00:56:30.280 and
00:56:30.440 one
00:56:30.780 is
00:56:31.320 the
00:56:32.280 kind
00:56:32.500 of
00:56:32.620 material
00:56:33.300 mess
00:56:33.780 that
00:56:34.020 we
00:56:34.180 accumulate
00:56:34.700 in
00:56:35.260 life
00:56:35.680 and
00:56:35.980 how
00:56:36.260 to
00:56:36.780 deal
00:56:37.660 with
00:56:37.900 that
00:56:38.340 because
00:56:39.220 of
00:56:39.700 course
00:56:39.840 you
00:56:40.000 hand
00:56:40.340 all
00:56:40.600 of
00:56:40.740 that
00:56:40.920 down
00:56:41.380 to
00:56:41.780 the
00:56:42.060 people
00:56:42.460 who
00:56:43.200 you
00:56:43.940 love
00:56:44.400 and
00:56:44.980 it's
00:56:45.780 a lot
00:56:46.260 and
00:56:46.900 there's
00:56:47.120 this
00:56:47.320 great
00:56:48.140 Swedish
00:56:48.660 notion
00:56:49.220 of
00:56:49.540 death
00:56:50.060 cleaning
00:56:50.480 that
00:56:50.860 as you
00:56:51.240 get
00:56:51.380 older
00:56:51.680 you
00:56:51.920 should
00:56:52.180 go
00:56:53.140 through
00:56:53.440 your
00:56:53.680 material
00:56:54.500 world
00:56:55.480 and
00:56:55.720 decide
00:56:56.200 what
00:56:56.860 you
00:56:57.380 need
00:56:57.840 and
00:56:58.000 what
00:56:58.180 you
00:56:58.320 can
00:56:58.520 give
00:56:58.740 up
00:56:58.920 because
00:56:59.440 you
00:57:00.240 don't
00:57:00.380 want
00:57:00.520 to
00:57:00.620 pass
00:57:00.840 that
00:57:01.040 along
00:57:01.340 you
00:57:01.480 don't
00:57:01.620 want
00:57:01.740 to
00:57:01.820 pass
00:57:02.020 that
00:57:02.220 mess
00:57:02.420 along
00:57:02.780 it's
00:57:03.240 a lot
00:57:03.680 to
00:57:03.840 get
00:57:04.000 through
00:57:04.320 for
00:57:04.600 the
00:57:04.740 people
00:57:04.960 you
00:57:05.120 love
00:57:05.340 and
00:57:05.460 then
00:57:05.620 there's
00:57:06.420 of
00:57:06.620 course
00:57:06.800 the
00:57:06.960 emotional
00:57:07.500 mess
00:57:08.080 that
00:57:08.320 we
00:57:08.460 create
00:57:08.800 in
00:57:08.980 life
00:57:09.320 as
00:57:09.600 human
00:57:09.900 beings
00:57:10.360 which
00:57:10.720 is
00:57:11.120 much
00:57:12.120 more
00:57:12.360 complicated
00:57:12.980 but
00:57:14.180 that
00:57:14.680 is
00:57:15.020 where
00:57:15.300 the
00:57:15.520 meat
00:57:15.760 is
00:57:16.220 thinking
00:57:18.060 about
00:57:18.760 your
00:57:19.620 relationships
00:57:20.260 and
00:57:21.320 whether
00:57:21.680 or not
00:57:22.100 you
00:57:22.360 have
00:57:22.980 resolved
00:57:24.720 old
00:57:26.160 disputes
00:57:26.980 people
00:57:28.700 in your
00:57:29.360 life
00:57:29.720 what do
00:57:30.140 they need
00:57:30.460 to hear
00:57:30.900 from you
00:57:31.520 how
00:57:33.620 are you
00:57:35.360 feeding
00:57:36.220 and watering
00:57:36.780 your
00:57:37.040 relationships
00:57:37.640 throughout
00:57:38.040 life
00:57:38.440 and
00:57:38.920 Ira
00:57:40.100 Bayak
00:57:40.580 another
00:57:40.940 palliative
00:57:41.420 care
00:57:41.640 physician
00:57:42.100 who we
00:57:42.800 interviewed
00:57:43.060 for this
00:57:43.480 book
00:57:43.720 has this
00:57:44.180 beautiful
00:57:44.520 framework
00:57:45.000 of
00:57:45.760 saying
00:57:46.440 the
00:57:46.640 four
00:57:46.840 things
00:57:47.200 that
00:57:47.400 matter
00:57:47.640 most
00:57:48.360 at
00:57:49.100 the
00:57:49.240 end
00:57:49.380 of
00:57:49.520 life
00:57:49.900 and
00:57:50.280 those
00:57:50.660 things
00:57:51.080 are
00:57:51.580 please
00:57:52.580 forgive
00:57:52.920 me
00:57:53.320 I
00:57:54.160 forgive
00:57:54.560 you
00:57:55.020 thank
00:57:56.460 you
00:57:56.860 and
00:57:57.760 I
00:57:57.980 love
00:57:58.220 you
00:57:58.520 and
00:57:59.620 you
00:58:00.120 know
00:58:00.200 he
00:58:00.300 says
00:58:00.520 that
00:58:00.700 just
00:58:01.000 saying
00:58:01.440 those
00:58:01.820 things
00:58:02.520 can
00:58:03.080 really
00:58:03.580 unburden
00:58:05.040 the
00:58:05.680 people
00:58:06.120 around
00:58:06.640 you
00:58:07.080 and
00:58:07.360 feeling
00:58:07.720 like
00:58:08.060 they
00:58:08.360 have
00:58:08.880 they've
00:58:09.820 come
00:58:10.000 to
00:58:10.200 terms
00:58:10.720 with
00:58:11.200 letting
00:58:12.560 you
00:58:12.840 go
00:58:13.220 and
00:58:14.520 feeling
00:58:14.880 resolved
00:58:15.320 about
00:58:15.640 that
00:58:15.940 and
00:58:16.100 we
00:58:16.580 actually
00:58:16.880 asked
00:58:17.240 him
00:58:17.460 Ira
00:58:17.720 it's
00:58:18.400 been
00:58:18.560 10
00:58:18.780 years
00:58:18.960 since
00:58:19.160 you
00:58:19.280 wrote
00:58:19.440 that
00:58:19.600 book
00:58:19.780 is there
00:58:20.140 anything
00:58:20.840 else
00:58:21.200 you'd
00:58:21.400 add
00:58:21.500 to
00:58:21.640 that
00:58:21.820 list
00:58:22.120 and
00:58:22.300 he
00:58:22.420 said
00:58:22.800 you
00:58:23.780 know
00:58:23.880 actually
00:58:24.140 there
00:58:24.360 is
00:58:24.580 I
00:58:25.020 talked
00:58:25.560 to
00:58:25.900 60
00:58:26.680 year
00:58:26.880 old
00:58:27.060 men
00:58:27.460 who
00:58:28.360 are
00:58:28.600 still
00:58:29.140 carrying
00:58:29.720 around
00:58:30.400 the
00:58:31.640 wish
00:58:31.980 that
00:58:32.240 their
00:58:32.460 dead
00:58:32.760 fathers
00:58:33.220 had
00:58:33.460 said
00:58:33.680 to
00:58:33.820 them
00:58:34.060 I'm
00:58:34.320 so
00:58:34.520 proud
00:58:34.820 of
00:58:35.000 you
00:58:35.200 and
00:58:36.700 you
00:58:37.660 know
00:58:37.780 so
00:58:38.040 I've
00:58:39.220 really
00:58:39.500 built
00:58:40.040 that
00:58:40.280 into
00:58:40.620 the
00:58:41.340 way
00:58:41.520 that
00:58:41.660 I
00:58:41.820 raise
00:58:42.140 my
00:58:42.340 kids
00:58:42.600 just
00:58:42.840 taking
00:58:43.160 every
00:58:43.560 opportunity
00:58:44.160 to
00:58:44.620 tell
00:58:45.300 them
00:58:45.680 how
00:58:46.380 proud
00:58:46.640 of
00:58:46.780 them
00:58:46.980 I
00:58:47.160 am
00:58:47.520 and
00:58:47.780 you
00:58:48.220 know
00:58:48.300 I
00:58:48.420 think
00:58:48.600 we
00:58:48.740 just
00:58:49.120 we
00:58:50.520 again
00:58:51.080 just
00:58:51.440 you
00:58:52.040 know
00:58:52.160 returning
00:58:52.640 to
00:58:53.140 this
00:58:53.660 moment
00:58:54.040 is
00:58:54.320 the
00:58:54.500 only
00:58:54.740 moment
00:58:55.280 that
00:58:55.620 we
00:58:55.760 can
00:58:55.940 be
00:58:56.140 sure
00:58:56.400 of
00:58:56.800 knowing
00:58:58.420 that
00:58:58.780 you
00:58:59.020 are
00:58:59.240 expressing
00:58:59.660 the
00:58:59.900 things
00:59:00.120 that
00:59:00.280 you
00:59:00.400 need
00:59:00.600 to
00:59:00.760 express
00:59:01.340 and
00:59:02.000 and
00:59:02.700 then
00:59:02.820 all
00:59:02.960 the
00:59:03.080 paperwork
00:59:03.480 stuff
00:59:03.860 you're
00:59:04.040 right
00:59:04.220 Sam
00:59:04.520 we
00:59:04.980 cover
00:59:05.280 off
00:59:05.520 in
00:59:05.620 the
00:59:05.720 book
00:59:05.880 we
00:59:06.000 actually
00:59:06.260 have
00:59:06.500 this
00:59:06.780 notion
00:59:07.260 of
00:59:07.520 a
00:59:07.680 when
00:59:07.920 I 0.99
00:59:08.100 die
00:59:08.380 file
00:59:08.880 which
00:59:09.740 has
00:59:09.940 like
00:59:10.100 20
00:59:10.380 things
00:59:10.820 in it
00:59:11.140 that
00:59:11.320 you
00:59:11.620 want
00:59:12.140 to
00:59:12.260 put
00:59:12.400 in
00:59:12.520 there
00:59:12.680 and
00:59:12.800 that
00:59:12.940 can
00:59:13.080 be
00:59:13.220 in
00:59:13.320 a
00:59:13.440 shoebox
00:59:13.980 or
00:59:14.180 on
00:59:15.780 the
00:59:15.920 cloud
00:59:16.240 wherever
00:59:16.640 but
00:59:16.980 you
00:59:17.900 know
00:59:18.020 it's
00:59:18.180 a
00:59:18.280 place
00:59:18.580 where
00:59:18.920 your
00:59:19.240 family
00:59:19.560 can
00:59:19.780 go
00:59:20.040 to
00:59:20.280 find
00:59:20.620 all
00:59:20.920 of
00:59:21.080 the
00:59:21.280 logistical
00:59:21.840 stuff
00:59:22.380 that
00:59:22.640 just
00:59:22.900 traps
00:59:24.000 people
00:59:24.380 up
00:59:24.600 when
00:59:24.780 they're
00:59:24.940 in
00:59:25.040 the
00:59:25.180 thick
00:59:25.360 of
00:59:25.520 grief
00:59:25.840 and
00:59:26.020 they
00:59:26.180 can't
00:59:26.420 even
00:59:26.580 think
00:59:26.900 straight 0.70
00:59:27.300 and
00:59:27.660 they
00:59:27.860 just
00:59:28.120 need
00:59:28.440 very
00:59:29.200 clear
00:59:29.620 instructions
00:59:30.200 for
00:59:30.840 how
00:59:31.500 to
00:59:31.920 shut
00:59:32.400 down
00:59:32.620 a
00:59:32.760 life
00:59:33.040 BJ
00:59:34.300 before
00:59:34.560 you
00:59:34.840 give
00:59:35.140 us
00:59:35.300 the
00:59:35.580 DNR
00:59:36.860 particulars
00:59:37.500 I
00:59:38.260 forget
00:59:38.540 if
00:59:38.720 you
00:59:38.920 mention
00:59:40.140 this
00:59:40.400 in
00:59:40.520 the
00:59:40.660 book
00:59:41.020 do
00:59:41.620 we
00:59:41.780 know
00:59:42.220 the
00:59:42.780 statistics
00:59:43.260 on
00:59:43.740 just
00:59:44.460 what
00:59:44.720 percentage
00:59:45.120 of
00:59:45.320 people
00:59:45.700 die
00:59:47.040 suddenly 0.81
00:59:47.640 and
00:59:48.100 bypass
00:59:48.980 any
00:59:49.800 need
00:59:50.060 for
00:59:50.220 advice
00:59:50.620 around
00:59:51.160 how
00:59:52.180 to
00:59:52.320 navigate
00:59:52.680 a
00:59:52.920 terminal
00:59:53.240 illness
00:59:54.100 I
00:59:54.400 mean
00:59:54.480 they're
00:59:54.640 just
00:59:54.800 I
00:59:55.120 guess
00:59:55.280 this
00:59:55.460 is
00:59:55.940 more
00:59:56.380 or
00:59:56.500 less
00:59:56.660 cardiac
00:59:57.260 events
00:59:57.840 and
00:59:58.100 accidents
00:59:58.920 we're
00:59:59.180 talking
00:59:59.420 about
00:59:59.640 here
00:59:59.800 but
01:00:00.100 do
01:00:00.460 we
01:00:00.580 know
01:00:00.880 what
01:00:01.220 the
01:00:01.420 percentages
01:00:01.780 are
01:00:02.060 the
01:00:02.760 data
01:00:03.480 that
01:00:03.720 I've
01:00:04.120 seen
01:00:04.780 referenced
01:00:05.420 I
01:00:06.300 have
01:00:06.500 to
01:00:06.640 say
01:00:06.840 I
01:00:07.000 haven't
01:00:07.220 chased
01:00:07.520 it
01:00:07.680 down
01:00:07.940 to
01:00:08.160 its
01:00:08.380 source
01:00:08.780 but
01:00:09.440 the
01:00:09.600 data
01:00:09.820 I've
01:00:10.020 seen
01:00:10.220 referenced
01:00:10.820 around
01:00:11.180 your
01:00:11.420 question
01:00:11.820 Sam
01:00:12.180 is
01:00:12.560 and
01:00:13.340 it
01:00:13.480 mirrors
01:00:13.780 my
01:00:14.140 own
01:00:15.220 experience
01:00:15.680 and
01:00:15.860 my
01:00:16.020 practice
01:00:16.420 but
01:00:16.800 maybe
01:00:17.980 10
01:00:18.460 to
01:00:18.620 20
01:00:19.020 percent
01:00:19.440 of
01:00:19.700 people
01:00:20.160 can
01:00:21.020 look
01:00:21.240 forward
01:00:21.560 to
01:00:21.780 that
01:00:22.060 sort
01:00:22.360 of
01:00:22.480 spontaneous
01:00:23.080 death
01:00:23.800 where
01:00:24.620 they're
01:00:24.960 fully
01:00:25.540 alive
01:00:25.940 one
01:00:26.160 moment
01:00:26.520 and
01:00:26.760 whammo
01:00:27.640 gone
01:00:28.060 and
01:00:29.420 there's
01:00:29.820 not
01:00:30.100 much
01:00:30.380 in
01:00:30.540 between
01:00:30.840 space
01:00:31.400 and
01:00:32.120 that
01:00:32.260 number
01:00:32.600 is
01:00:32.800 shrinking
01:00:33.140 in
01:00:34.160 part
01:00:34.460 due
01:00:34.660 to
01:00:34.800 the
01:00:34.940 advances
01:00:35.320 of
01:00:35.560 medicine
01:00:35.880 we're
01:00:36.140 able
01:00:36.360 to
01:00:36.560 keep
01:00:36.780 people
01:00:37.180 alive
01:00:37.560 myself
01:00:37.920 as
01:00:38.240 one
01:00:38.400 of
01:00:39.120 them
01:00:39.260 we
01:00:39.720 can
01:00:39.940 keep
01:00:40.140 folks
01:00:40.440 alive
01:00:40.980 but
01:00:41.920 not
01:00:42.160 unscathed
01:00:43.240 and so
01:00:43.660 a lot
01:00:43.960 of
01:00:44.080 people
01:00:44.420 now
01:00:44.840 a lot
01:00:45.120 of
01:00:45.240 illnesses
01:00:45.560 that
01:00:45.880 were
01:00:46.120 immediately
01:00:47.000 terminal
01:00:47.640 nowadays
01:00:48.900 are
01:00:49.240 chronic
01:00:49.660 at least
01:00:50.520 for many
01:00:50.920 years
01:00:51.420 so
01:00:52.420 another
01:00:52.900 thing
01:00:53.280 that
01:00:53.480 the
01:00:53.800 book
01:00:54.060 steps
01:00:54.600 into
01:00:54.940 or
01:00:55.180 our
01:00:55.420 time
01:00:55.860 steps
01:00:56.240 into
01:00:56.540 is
01:00:56.780 this
01:00:56.960 moment
01:00:57.280 where
01:00:57.940 science
01:00:58.660 and
01:00:58.820 medical
01:00:59.020 science
01:00:59.340 has
01:00:59.520 advanced
01:00:59.980 and
01:01:01.040 it's
01:01:01.340 smeared
01:01:02.760 or
01:01:03.040 protracted
01:01:03.940 this
01:01:04.160 dying
01:01:04.580 phase
01:01:05.140 and
01:01:05.960 that
01:01:06.180 has
01:01:06.500 lots
01:01:07.040 of
01:01:07.200 consequences
01:01:07.760 so
01:01:08.140 for
01:01:09.140 good
01:01:09.440 and
01:01:09.640 for
01:01:10.040 ill
01:01:10.360 we
01:01:10.960 live
01:01:12.240 with
01:01:12.680 this
01:01:12.900 thing
01:01:13.140 that
01:01:13.320 will
01:01:13.480 cause
01:01:13.780 our
01:01:13.960 death
01:01:14.260 oftentimes
01:01:14.800 for
01:01:15.120 many
01:01:15.320 years
01:01:15.680 and
01:01:15.900 so
01:01:16.100 more
01:01:16.880 and
01:01:17.040 more
01:01:17.220 of
01:01:17.340 us
01:01:17.480 are
01:01:17.620 dying
01:01:17.880 from
01:01:18.120 chronic
01:01:18.460 illness
01:01:18.860 that
01:01:19.240 will
01:01:19.420 very
01:01:19.760 likely
01:01:20.220 it is
01:01:20.620 right
01:01:20.780 now
01:01:20.980 very
01:01:21.240 likely
01:01:21.560 the
01:01:21.760 reason
01:01:22.020 the
01:01:22.400 way
01:01:22.640 you
01:01:22.980 or
01:01:23.240 I
01:01:23.420 will 0.99
01:01:23.600 die 1.00
01:01:23.900 and 1.00
01:01:24.820 that
01:01:25.020 number
01:01:25.340 is
01:01:25.620 growing
01:01:25.940 as
01:01:26.480 the
01:01:26.680 population
01:01:27.220 ages
01:01:27.580 so
01:01:27.880 these
01:01:28.460 issues
01:01:28.740 are
01:01:28.920 becoming
01:01:29.240 more
01:01:29.580 and more
01:01:30.020 important
01:01:31.040 or
01:01:31.440 powerful
01:01:32.820 and in
01:01:33.980 the coming
01:01:34.560 decades
01:01:34.980 they will
01:01:35.340 continue
01:01:35.800 to swell
01:01:36.460 aging
01:01:37.860 dying
01:01:38.380 is going
01:01:38.720 to be
01:01:39.000 increasingly
01:01:39.540 in our
01:01:39.960 face
01:01:43.140 so
01:01:44.540 with that
01:01:45.600 another
01:01:45.860 reason
01:01:46.520 to pay
01:01:47.020 attention
01:01:47.440 to this
01:01:48.120 stuff
01:01:48.700 now
01:01:49.200 as
01:01:50.500 you're
01:01:51.060 talking
01:01:51.460 and reminded
01:01:52.020 too
01:01:52.300 of one
01:01:52.520 of the
01:01:52.700 joys
01:01:52.980 of
01:01:53.220 this
01:01:54.340 work
01:01:54.660 that
01:01:54.840 we
01:01:55.040 did
01:01:55.240 together
01:01:55.660 or do
01:01:56.040 together
01:01:56.460 there's
01:01:58.080 also
01:01:58.260 just
01:01:58.520 the
01:01:58.700 magic
01:01:59.040 like
01:01:59.320 you're
01:01:59.520 doing
01:01:59.800 with
01:02:00.000 us
01:02:00.200 today
01:02:00.480 Sam
01:02:00.840 of
01:02:01.000 just
01:02:01.260 talking
01:02:01.740 about
01:02:02.100 these
01:02:02.380 things
01:02:02.740 and
01:02:03.040 you
01:02:03.160 have
01:02:03.360 done
01:02:03.560 such
01:02:03.800 a
01:02:03.940 beautiful
01:02:04.160 job
01:02:04.600 before
01:02:05.000 us
01:02:05.280 too
01:02:05.520 I
01:02:05.680 mean
01:02:05.760 this
01:02:05.960 subject
01:02:06.260 is
01:02:06.540 not
01:02:06.860 a
01:02:07.980 stranger
01:02:08.420 on
01:02:08.780 your
01:02:09.040 work
01:02:09.900 and
01:02:10.340 that's
01:02:10.640 beautiful
01:02:11.100 just
01:02:13.140 pulling
01:02:13.560 things
01:02:13.900 out
01:02:14.080 of
01:02:14.160 a
01:02:14.300 closet
01:02:14.640 and
01:02:16.020 you
01:02:16.740 know
01:02:16.820 one
01:02:17.040 thing
01:02:17.240 I
01:02:17.360 kind
01:02:17.560 of
01:02:17.640 want
01:02:17.820 to
01:02:17.940 get
01:02:18.120 out
01:02:18.340 there
01:02:18.700 I'm
01:02:19.440 going
01:02:19.780 around
01:02:20.000 here
01:02:20.260 non-linearly
01:02:21.140 but
01:02:21.360 you
01:02:22.200 know
01:02:22.340 as
01:02:22.540 you're
01:02:22.740 referencing
01:02:23.260 a moment
01:02:23.740 ago
01:02:24.080 about
01:02:24.380 there are
01:02:24.880 some
01:02:25.060 important
01:02:25.360 differences
01:02:25.840 between
01:02:26.280 living
01:02:26.580 and
01:02:26.800 dying
01:02:27.080 and 1.00
01:02:28.540 I'll
01:02:28.900 just
01:02:29.060 say
01:02:29.220 I'll
01:02:29.540 jump
01:02:29.720 to
01:02:29.920 what
01:02:30.960 feels
01:02:31.260 to
01:02:31.420 me
01:02:31.580 like
01:02:31.800 really
01:02:32.080 good
01:02:32.380 news
01:02:32.740 and
01:02:32.920 good
01:02:33.420 news
01:02:33.660 observation
01:02:34.240 a lot
01:02:34.640 of
01:02:34.720 this
01:02:34.900 is
01:02:35.100 that
01:02:35.300 a lot
01:02:35.900 of
01:02:36.000 the
01:02:36.240 what
01:02:36.840 feel
01:02:37.240 like
01:02:37.480 neurosing
01:02:38.040 around
01:02:38.740 regret
01:02:39.540 and
01:02:39.860 getting
01:02:40.120 it
01:02:40.300 right
01:02:40.640 and
01:02:41.280 learning
01:02:42.180 how
01:02:42.460 to
01:02:42.640 heed
01:02:43.100 or
01:02:43.320 pay
01:02:43.600 attention
01:02:44.080 or
01:02:44.420 quiet
01:02:45.220 our
01:02:45.420 critic
01:02:45.940 all
01:02:46.400 the
01:02:46.600 things
01:02:46.900 that
01:02:47.080 we
01:02:47.260 kind
01:02:47.460 of
01:02:48.200 frantically
01:02:48.820 do
01:02:49.420 to
01:02:49.880 ourselves
01:02:50.320 and
01:02:50.540 to
01:02:50.680 each
01:02:50.900 other
01:02:51.180 when
01:02:51.940 we
01:02:52.140 have
01:02:52.420 this
01:02:52.600 sort
01:02:52.800 of
01:02:52.960 open
01:02:53.760 ended
01:02:53.960 life
01:02:54.320 in
01:02:54.520 front
01:02:54.700 of
01:02:54.820 us
01:02:55.020 in
01:02:56.000 some
01:02:56.200 ways
01:02:56.360 that's
01:02:56.680 the
01:02:56.800 hard
01:02:57.020 part
01:02:57.400 that's
01:02:58.500 you
01:02:58.960 know
01:02:59.080 I
01:02:59.280 wouldn't
01:02:59.660 but
01:02:59.880 by the
01:03:00.300 time
01:03:00.600 someone
01:03:01.000 is
01:03:01.380 actually
01:03:01.900 dying 0.75
01:03:02.380 you
01:03:02.720 know
01:03:02.820 in
01:03:02.940 their
01:03:03.080 final
01:03:07.240 fall
01:03:07.560 apart
01:03:08.020 bit
01:03:08.680 by
01:03:08.860 bit
01:03:09.160 and 0.75
01:03:09.820 dying
01:03:10.140 in
01:03:10.320 some
01:03:10.540 ways
01:03:10.720 has
01:03:10.880 already
01:03:11.140 begun
01:03:11.520 they've
01:03:12.440 already
01:03:12.700 said
01:03:12.980 a lot
01:03:13.260 of
01:03:13.360 goodbyes
01:03:14.000 when
01:03:14.780 you're
01:03:14.960 kind
01:03:15.180 of
01:03:15.660 shaken
01:03:16.140 down
01:03:16.660 by
01:03:16.960 that
01:03:17.340 chronic
01:03:18.260 process
01:03:19.000 you know
01:03:20.340 one of
01:03:20.600 the things
01:03:20.840 that often
01:03:21.340 goes
01:03:21.660 especially
01:03:22.040 if you
01:03:22.300 have
01:03:22.420 some
01:03:22.620 loving
01:03:22.880 support
01:03:23.320 around
01:03:23.580 you
01:03:23.760 are
01:03:24.020 you
01:03:24.480 know
01:03:24.580 I
01:03:24.740 don't
01:03:24.920 hear
01:03:25.180 a lot
01:03:25.400 of
01:03:25.500 people
01:03:25.720 in
01:03:25.820 their
01:03:25.920 death
01:03:26.120 beds
01:03:26.420 wailing
01:03:26.780 about
01:03:27.160 regrets
01:03:27.560 actually
01:03:28.080 I
01:03:28.660 hear
01:03:28.740 a lot
01:03:28.900 of
01:03:29.060 folks
01:03:29.360 at
01:03:29.540 the
01:03:29.660 time
01:03:29.860 of
01:03:29.980 diagnosis
01:03:30.480 wailing
01:03:30.900 about
01:03:31.200 regret
01:03:31.620 that's
01:03:32.700 an
01:03:32.800 important
01:03:33.060 difference
01:03:33.460 so I
01:03:33.740 just
01:03:33.880 want to
01:03:34.220 kind
01:03:34.360 of
01:03:34.440 note
01:03:34.680 that
01:03:34.920 there's
01:03:35.100 some
01:03:35.240 good
01:03:35.440 news
01:03:35.720 here
01:03:35.960 that
01:03:36.160 I
01:03:36.320 think
01:03:36.500 in
01:03:36.640 some
01:03:36.860 ways
01:03:37.220 living
01:03:37.960 is
01:03:38.240 the
01:03:38.460 harder
01:03:38.780 part
01:03:39.640 or
01:03:41.000 some
01:03:41.260 ways
01:03:41.440 more
01:03:41.640 complicated
01:03:42.240 dying
01:03:43.460 can
01:03:43.720 really
01:03:44.100 bring
01:03:44.380 us
01:03:44.560 down
01:03:44.780 to
01:03:44.940 the
01:03:45.080 essentials
01:03:45.500 and
01:03:45.880 distill
01:03:46.360 life
01:03:46.860 and
01:03:47.040 make
01:03:47.240 it
01:03:47.380 very
01:03:47.720 obvious
01:03:48.560 in
01:03:48.820 some
01:03:49.020 ways
01:03:49.320 so
01:03:49.760 let
01:03:50.060 that
01:03:50.220 be
01:03:50.360 good
01:03:50.560 news
01:03:50.940 that's
01:03:51.740 interesting
01:03:51.980 meanwhile
01:03:52.540 I've
01:03:53.540 actually
01:03:53.720 never
01:03:53.960 heard
01:03:54.280 that
01:03:54.560 point
01:03:55.020 made
01:03:55.420 and
01:03:55.580 it
01:03:55.840 seems
01:03:57.420 intuitively
01:03:58.040 right
01:03:59.160 do you
01:03:59.840 have an
01:04:00.060 explanation
01:04:00.400 for it
01:04:01.460 well
01:04:01.980 I
01:04:02.380 don't
01:04:03.120 say
01:04:03.660 that
01:04:03.880 not a
01:04:04.240 scientific
01:04:04.640 if you'd
01:04:06.160 like to
01:04:06.420 continue
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