Making Sense - Sam Harris - July 01, 2026


#483 — The Knots We Tie Ourselves Into


Episode Stats


Length

22 minutes

Words per minute

162.46

Word count

3,700

Sentence count

189

Harmful content

Hate speech

4

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 you're listening to making sense with sam harris this is the free version of the podcast so you'll
00:00:06.400 only hear the first part of today's conversation if you want the full episode and every episode
00:00:11.360 you can subscribe at sam harris.org there are no ads on this show it runs entirely on subscriber
00:00:18.000 support if you enjoy what we're doing here and find it valuable please consider subscribing today
00:00:22.960 I am here with Alain de Botton. Alain, thanks for joining me.
00:00:29.540 Thank you so much for having me.
00:00:31.180 So I think this conversation probably is, I don't know, two decades coming. I feel like I've known
00:00:38.020 about you for at least 20 years and admired your work from afar. You've done many things. You've
00:00:43.880 written many books and you have the School of Life, which I would love to talk about. But how
00:00:49.020 How do you describe your career at this point?
00:00:51.520 What is it that you focus on and how are you showing up mostly now as a thinker?
00:00:58.960 Sure.
00:00:59.200 I mean, I'm broadly interested in the slightly paradoxical and elusive sources of human
00:01:03.660 happiness, unhappiness, sorry, that are not really related to material or political shortfalls
00:01:09.200 or events, but broadly lie in the psychological space.
00:01:12.340 our amazing human ability to make a hell out of often pretty benign circumstances.
00:01:21.000 I'm fascinated by, as I say, the knots we tie ourselves into. And I write books. I operate on
00:01:28.620 YouTube. As you say, I run this organization called the School of Life in London. We're
00:01:34.740 interested in emotional education. And, um, I'm also a psychotherapist. So, um, I see clients
00:01:42.000 one day a week. Nice. And as well as writing books and things. And the school of life has
00:01:47.320 published many books that are, are you the author of those books or did you, is it? I am. I and a
00:01:53.460 colleague are the author of all the books. Yes. Wow. So, um, you are more prolific than you get
00:01:58.560 credit for then because how many books have you written? There are a lot of them. Well, the school
00:02:02.780 of life has 70 books under its brand and i've written 15 under my name so it's a little too
00:02:08.740 much and um i leave it to experts to diagnose what the problem might be this is this is l ron hubbard
00:02:14.680 territory though happily with much better content wow uh okay well then i'm glad to see you away
00:02:21.420 from your keyboard for the at least uh the hour that we're speaking thank you well see you have
00:02:29.060 focused on these timeless issues of, as you just put it, our capacity to suffer unnecessarily,
00:02:38.560 it's pretty easy to uncouple that from the historical moment. I mean, there are ways in
00:02:44.000 which current technology and changes in culture, I think, are amplifying that capacity and making
00:02:51.960 it more difficult to be happy in some very ordinary ways. Perhaps these changes are making
00:02:58.040 it easier too. Let's just talk about culture for a moment. What most concerns you about
00:03:03.620 the cultural changes that we're seeing happening, more or less accelerating hour by hour around us
00:03:11.760 now? I wonder if I might start in an unusual, slightly unusual and slightly provocative place,
00:03:17.900 which is with religion and with the decline in much of the modern world with what I would be
00:03:26.100 careful to call it a religious mindset as opposed to belief. And I think we're still, you know,
00:03:31.020 I still diagnose modern societies as coming out of the very long religious age which preceded it. 0.87
00:03:40.280 And, you know, taking my cue from a thinker like Nietzsche, who predicted, I think very accurately,
00:03:46.580 that the end of belief would be trouble for human beings. I mean, it's not like there was no trouble
00:03:51.920 before, and don't get me wrong, there was a lot of trouble before as well, but that there were
00:03:55.700 particular kinds of trouble that were going to beset non-religious eras, predominantly non-religious
00:04:02.180 eras. And I think it's a good place to look. I mean, let's look at some of the things that
00:04:08.360 religious societies do and secular societies have problems with. One of the things that
00:04:13.940 religious societies do is to socialize in ritual forms certain kinds of psychological transitions
00:04:22.220 which secular societies have a lot of trouble orchestrating or putting on the agenda. I mean,
00:04:28.060 our diaries are filled with business meetings and technical priorities. In the more religious eras,
00:04:34.740 days were devoted to ideas, to priorities of the soul, if you like. Now, one can have all kinds of
00:04:41.180 objections to how those priorities were framed, but it's a very interesting way in which
00:04:45.960 in the 19th century, what happens is that private life gets personalized and individualized to an
00:04:53.640 unprecedented degree. And so if you're in love, if you're struck by nature, if you're interested in
00:04:59.620 community, if you're moved by the sight of mountains, et cetera, you do that on your own.
00:05:04.020 You don't, you're not within any kind of structure. And, you know, we've had a hard time
00:05:10.200 cohering people into structures that, you know, guide psychological, I guess when you might call
00:05:18.240 health, religions talk to the soul. We don't need to use that word soul, but it's a very interesting
00:05:24.000 word. Let me just explore that in the current context. I mean, there are religious societies
00:05:29.880 or large communities now that you envy for the degree to which their commitment to
00:05:37.060 their specific doctrines and ideology grants them depth of community and kind of thickness of
00:05:45.900 culture? They're not atomized in ways that you admire? Yeah. Again, slightly strangely, no.
00:05:52.120 I'm not interested in looking backwards or sideways to religious eras. I'm doing something
00:05:58.420 slightly unusual, which is to say, to really advocate for creativity, creativity in the
00:06:04.420 areas in which religions used to operate. I'm not interested in reviving religions or fostering 0.98
00:06:11.560 new forms of religiosity, but rather in exploring what religions were up to and thinking about
00:06:16.960 what some of the gaps, you might say, are. I mean, many of the museums of Europe,
00:06:24.500 take the Rijksmuseum in Amsterdam, were explicitly modeled in the late 19th century on churches.
00:06:30.220 There was a very common belief that culture would replace scripture, that in the absence of
00:06:36.820 divine beliefs, what would pick up the slack, what would direct emotion, what would provide points of
00:06:43.540 communion, etc., would be the arts. And that's why, as I say, so many civic, cultural buildings
00:06:51.700 look like churches or temples, places of worship.
00:06:55.680 The very direct kind of reference.
00:06:57.600 And so one might say, well, isn't that fair enough?
00:06:59.860 And I draw attention really to the way in which
00:07:02.360 that seems a slightly incomplete project.
00:07:04.720 So I'm speaking to you from London.
00:07:06.420 If you showed up at the Tate Gallery
00:07:07.900 and went to the Rothko room
00:07:09.620 and knelt down in front of a Rothko
00:07:12.420 and burst into tears
00:07:13.560 and were profoundly moved in a way
00:07:15.820 that we're not really used to in the age of museums
00:07:19.420 and according to the codes of how to behave in a museum,
00:07:21.700 you'd be quickly ushered out by the guards. You're supposed to imbibe art in ways that are,
00:07:28.220 you know, one might say chilly, even cold. It's a private experience. It's non-ecstatic.
00:07:33.820 It is not done with others. And there's a sort of limit to what we're allowed to expect
00:07:38.500 from a work of art. It's both meant to be extremely important and nothing to cry about,
00:07:44.220 or indeed dance about. And that strikes me. And I'm intrigued because all societies, I mean,
00:07:49.820 take the ancient Greeks who had some fascinating rituals. So once a year, there was the festival
00:07:54.800 of Dionysus. Dionysus, the god of wine, the god of night, the god of folly. And he's got his
00:08:02.020 ritual moments. And the whole citizenry, especially women, exit the city during the 0.85
00:08:08.520 festival of Dionysus, dance in ecstatic ways to the beating of drums. And of course, our friend
00:08:14.860 Nietzsche here is very interested in this. What's going on here? What are the ancient Greeks
00:08:19.020 knowing? What do they know about us that we seem to have forgotten? And I'm not the first person
00:08:24.300 to point out that there has been a huge increase, at least in recorded incidents, of what we call
00:08:31.020 mental illness, mental unwellness. And one of the ways of thinking about that epidemic of mental
00:08:37.100 unwellness is that the extreme emotions, the untenable emotions that manifest themselves now
00:08:44.120 privately were, have been in different points in history, marshaled around common rituals,
00:08:52.860 which one might say handled them pretty cleverly, quite intelligently. You know, for the ancient
00:08:59.620 Greeks, the concept of going a little mad once a year, or perhaps more often, was taken very
00:09:06.120 seriously and was not seen, was seen as different from actually being mad. Going mad is something
00:09:13.860 that you do because, you know, there's divine madness in each of us. Being mad is a more
00:09:19.100 permanent state, often to do with denying the fact that there is divine madness in us. And so,
00:09:25.400 you know, the Greeks rather cleverly had these two characters, Apollo and Dionysus at the center
00:09:29.620 of their culture. Apollo, interested in reason, in calm, in order, balance, symmetry. And Dionysus,
00:09:36.540 very interested in other things. Again, I'm less interested in the specifics of these gods.
00:09:41.340 We might find other gods. We might find other festivals. We might look at things differently.
00:09:45.640 But there's a methodology there. There's a way of structuring experience, which modern society
00:09:51.220 doesn't have. And I'm very interested in drawing attention to that.
00:09:55.160 Well, that's very interesting. I think I want to just explore all of that terrain again a little more systematically, just because I'm interested to discover if there's anything we disagree about. I think you and I have been thought to have disagreed. I think your book, Religion for Atheists, came out. When was that?
00:10:14.860 2012.
00:10:15.900 Oh, yeah.
00:10:16.760 2012. So, yeah, about the same time as you were very prominent on what looked like another side.
00:10:22.320 I was the foreheaded atheist along with Christopher Hitchens and Richard Dawkins and Daniel Dennett. And yeah, I think people thought you and I fundamentally disagreed about a few things there. And I'm hearing echoes of that suspicion in what you just said, but I'm not sure I disagree with any of what you said, but I just want to try to figure this out.
00:10:42.680 So I think I can completely sign up to the set of claims that I thought I heard, which is that one, secular culture is uncomfortable with ecstasy, right? 0.69
00:10:56.580 We don't have a frame in which to think about it and integrate it and normalize it and even prioritize it.
00:11:04.900 And ecstasy might even be the wrong noun.
00:11:08.140 It's more that there's a positive end to the continuum of human well-being that has
00:11:13.800 not been well explored, especially in Western culture and especially of late.
00:11:18.960 And I very much like your use of the word ecstasy.
00:11:22.240 I think it's bang on.
00:11:24.200 And, you know, let's go straight to the nightclub at this point.
00:11:27.780 You know, the word ecstasy has been linked to, obviously, traditionally a drug that you
00:11:32.140 take at a nightclub.
00:11:33.400 And, you know, even if you think of the nightclub, the nightclub, there are nightclubs all over
00:11:37.760 the world, they don't have very high cultural prestige. There's no psychological meaning
00:11:43.320 appended to them. There's no transcendental function. They are in the world of fun,
00:11:48.960 of recreation, which I think is a real pity. And I think one of the things that the modern world
00:11:54.420 does is it misses out on drawing from things like the nightclub, the themes the previous ages
00:12:02.400 would have mined in them. So just to add a few pieces to this puzzle for you to work with,
00:12:08.020 I think what you're arguing for is that secular culture needs a conception of profundity and the
00:12:15.060 sacred that traditionally only religion was able to give us. Totally, totally. That's absolutely
00:12:21.660 right. And even, you know, take the concept of the planetarium. So all around the world,
00:12:26.740 planetariums, you go and look at stars. How do we justify planetariums? It's overwhelmingly
00:12:31.920 to do with scientific explanation rather than or, or A-W-E. In other words, you know, you go to
00:12:39.680 planetarium and they're very keen to tell you about the precise dimensions of, you know, Kepler 32b
00:12:44.060 and, you know, the rings of Saturn, et cetera, rather than what I think would be an equally
00:12:50.500 apposite point, which is how small we are in the universe, you know, ego reduction, which has
00:12:56.720 traditionally been one of the functions that religion has taken on very effectively. You know,
00:13:00.640 in Zen Buddhism, there were moon viewing ceremonies on platforms. Poetry was read,
00:13:06.140 rice cakes were eaten, or still are in some parts of Japan at some points. In other words,
00:13:10.720 the moon is being used not as an astronomical phenomenon, but as a sort of psychosocial
00:13:17.560 phenomenon, as a tool of culture. And that's very helpful. So if we look at, you know,
00:13:22.800 the nightclub, the planetarium, et cetera, there are lots of things that secular culture has,
00:13:28.560 but isn't properly connecting up with some of the themes that religions were pretty good
00:13:34.380 at bringing to the fore. Well, now, as you, I'm sure, are aware, there's this resurgent interest
00:13:41.000 in psychedelics, both on the research end and on the so-called recreational end. And granted,
00:13:48.360 there are two very different moods with which one can approach this project. It can be the nightclub
00:13:54.360 mood of just having fun or the more contemplative mood of actually trying to understand something
00:14:02.040 deep and durable and profound about the nature of your mind and your capacity for
00:14:07.040 overcoming the unnecessary suffering of which you referenced at the beginning here.
00:14:11.400 Yes. I mean, I think psychedelics are very interesting. I've explored this theme. I mean,
00:14:16.700 if we look at, you know, you mentioned these two functions. Absolutely. I mean, if you,
00:14:20.780 you know, one of the functions of psychedelics, MDMA, et cetera,
00:14:24.360 is socially to remind us of what we have in common with other people. You know, when people say,
00:14:30.620 I took this substance and I loved everybody. This is, of course, one of the feats of kind
00:14:36.020 of spiritual development in all religions, that it is through kind of meditative activities and
00:14:42.380 also ecstatic activities that you discover that the barriers between humans are, let's put it
00:14:48.460 gently, exaggerated in normal life. In normal life, we focus on the differences, but how
00:14:54.280 interesting and how nice life would be if we focused on the similarities. And we may need a
00:14:59.080 substance and a setting in which that can more easily be accessible to us. And then, you know,
00:15:04.240 you mentioned self-exploration. Well, exactly. I mean, the Freudians, bless them, and I'm very
00:15:09.420 indebted to the Freudian tradition, they understand that one of the main obstacles to thinking about
00:15:14.620 yourself is fear, that there are resistance based on a fear of all sorts of deeply uncomfortable
00:15:20.800 things about oneself, like, you know, one's sexuality may be more complicated, one may have
00:15:25.660 aggressive urges, where one's supposed to be merely, inverted commas, nice, etc. And that
00:15:30.360 a substance like MDMA might lower the defenses, enabling one to achieve insight. And again,
00:15:39.300 you know, what a serious mission for something which for too long languished in the lane called
00:15:45.160 fun. Have psychedelics been part of your process? I mean, have you taken the various drugs?
00:15:52.560 I don't know if I'm going to be arrested for saying so. I don't know. But yes, I have. I have
00:15:57.880 taken MDMA and psilocybin in sort of clinical or pseudo-clinical settings. In other words, for
00:16:04.220 these ends of self-exploration more than so-called fun. And they've been tremendously helpful in
00:16:10.240 essentially, you know, my problem with drugs and alcohol was always that these things were
00:16:17.540 not being used seriously. It's not the substance itself that I didn't have any problem with. And
00:16:21.800 again, religions have been wonderful at reminding us. I mean, you know, what is Dionysus responsible
00:16:27.620 for? He's responsible for the God of wine. He's a God of wine. And how interesting to put wine
00:16:32.760 right at the center of, you know, ritual and psychological development. And we too often
00:16:39.300 fail to do that. Yeah, well, the Greeks, as you know, had the Ellicinian mysteries for a couple
00:16:44.840 of millennia. And, you know, those who partook came away saying that this was the foundational
00:16:52.040 few days of their lives. And to some degree, at least if we don't blow it and recapitulate some
00:16:59.520 of the errors of the 1960s here, what the current moment promises is a more sober, more methodical,
00:17:07.500 more scientifically informed, but yet nonetheless profound kind of reintegration of that kind of
00:17:14.000 ritual, you know, the pharmacological ritual in culture.
00:17:18.240 I mean, you know, I'm thinking about why people are boring. All human beings have very complex
00:17:22.820 lives, but we all know some people who, when you come into their vicinity, you yourself feel that
00:17:28.900 you have an awful lot to say to them and around them. And there's a lot of feeling. And other
00:17:33.380 people, we feel, you know, they are saying, what have you been up to lately? And the mind goes
00:17:37.680 completely blank, largely because I tend to think that this is a function of how much they've
00:17:42.580 explored of themselves. A so-called interesting person is generally somebody who's been very
00:17:47.840 interested in themselves, not in a narrowly egocentric way, but they've opened a lot of
00:17:52.160 doors. And I think one unconsciously senses that when you come into contact with them and then you
00:17:57.180 have a lot to say. I would immediately put you in that category, Sam, which is why people enjoy
00:18:02.280 talking to you. And I think that one of the things that psychedelics allow people to do is more
00:18:08.120 easily explore bits of their minds, which when they are outside of the substance, continues and
00:18:14.360 gives them a kind of space, which they allow to other people to, you know, explore their own
00:18:20.520 minds. And so one ends up, you know, having a more interesting time and a more, if you use a
00:18:26.160 hackneyed word, compassionate time, where there's a lot more on the table to discuss and to feel.
00:18:31.320 Well, let's talk about the attenuation of the ego, because it strikes me that there's a normative, optimal, entirely desirable version of this. And it's one that I've thought a lot about and spoken a lot about. But there's also pathological counterfeits, I would say. And they relate to the discomfort we referenced a moment ago around ecstasy and secular culture and its political implications.
00:18:58.500 I mean, when you're talking about, you know, the Dionysian attitude and what that looks like at the level of a crowd, I mean, it looks one way in a rave or, you know, other nightclub setting.
00:19:12.600 It looks another way in a political context, you know, that, you know, one could argue that at a large political rally, you know, Nuremberg looking or otherwise, there is a kind of self-overcoming of the individual.
00:19:26.980 There's this kind of fusion to some larger end that amounts to people kind of losing themselves in shoulder-to-shoulder contact with their brothers and sisters.
00:19:39.300 And the pathology of all of that is all too obvious when you just read any bit of history.
00:19:46.900 How should we think about the success and failure of what lies beyond the ego?
00:19:54.400 Such a fascinating question.
00:19:55.820 I'd begin with the story of every human in a family. You emerge into the world with a mother
00:20:02.080 and a father. And it's hard to remember, but essential to remember how mighty every mother
00:20:08.280 and father or every caregiver looks to an infant. This large person can throw a ball across the
00:20:15.080 garden, can master language, can write, can sing, can pick you up and spin you around the room.
00:20:21.680 And from that experience, all of us have rooted in us, I think, a capacity to be awed by another
00:20:32.000 human and, as it were, to imagine, to project onto them an all-knowing quality. And in normal
00:20:41.020 development, in normal psychological development, we gradually discover in adolescence that our
00:20:48.540 parents are flawed, that even though they looked absolutely powerful when we were seven,
00:20:54.120 by the time we're 17, we discover that they're boring, frightened, uncertain, and in many ways,
00:21:01.240 not sure of where they're going. And these are wonderful discoveries, necessary discoveries
00:21:05.260 of adolescence. And if I can make a strange link of democracy, democracy is the democratic mindset
00:21:11.480 is one which is post-adolescent and properly recognizes the impossibility of heroes.
00:21:19.360 There are no heroes. There are merely humans like you and me who are finding their way prone to
00:21:26.380 error and not omnipotent. But in moments of stress, in moments of regression, people and peoples
00:21:32.980 will, as you know, of course, regress back to that childhood mentality. And then you get serious
00:21:40.220 dangers because if somebody's the daddy or the mummy and they don't have the benevolence that
00:21:45.380 you know we sometimes associate with those words then you've got trouble on your hands and I think
00:21:51.160 it's in all of us all of us can be in danger depending on our you know state of mind and
00:21:56.780 the atmosphere around of projecting onto leaders a power that that no adult can possess simply
00:22:04.680 because that's where we all came from and it's a lot easier when you're feeling under pressure
00:22:09.600 to believe that.
00:22:11.640 Members can hear the full conversation
00:22:13.280 by subscribing at samharris.org.
00:22:15.860 Subscribers get a private RSS feed
00:22:17.700 you can use with your favorite podcast player.
00:22:19.980 Death is a very important thing to keep on the agenda,
00:22:22.060 not just for the actual moment you're going to die,
00:22:24.220 but for everything it symbolizes
00:22:26.480 about your limits of understanding and control.
00:22:30.360 Accepting death in its metaphorical sense of limits
00:22:34.040 is a wonderful route to making you,
00:22:37.400 you know, a little bit less of a difficult person, a little bit less of an awkward person.
00:22:42.460 People become a lot more fun when they accept their limitations.