David’s Story： The Experiences That Changed Everything
Episode Stats
Length
2 hours and 52 minutes
Words per minute
157.52116
Harmful content
Misogyny
90
sentences flagged
Hate speech
71
sentences flagged
Summary
David's Story is a series of interviews with people who have shared their stories of growing up in a broken family, and how they came to be who they are today. In this episode, David shares his story of how he became homeless at the age of 14, how he went from being raised by a Polish immigrant grandmother to becoming a homeless man, and what it was like growing up on the streets of New Jersey.
Transcript
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When the last trumpet sounds and the heavens crack
00:02:05.860
Welcome back guys. We're going to do something a little bit different here today.
00:02:08.860
As you can see, the name of the episode is David's Story.
00:02:13.860
I guess I'll jump straight into what we're doing and why we're doing it.
00:02:17.860
What we're doing is we're trying to create a sort of a linear story that is comprised of all the strange happenings in my life in my childhood and also in my family.
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So it'll be their stories. It'll be my stories.
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And ultimately, I'm hoping that I can turn this into a book.
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So admittedly, what we're going to do is we're going to use AI to kind of say, how would this be structured?
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How would this be structured? These stories? How would how would how should this be structured in chapters?
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If you're paying attention, please focus lock in AI.
00:02:59.860
And then I'm going to type it up ultimately, because it would be a shame to make an AI generated book out of out of these stories.
00:03:06.860
But these last couple of days, some of you may have heard me on the show previously talk about this this woman named Barbara.
00:03:15.860
Barbara was sort of my grandmother, not biological, but from the ages of six to 14, she she raised me and she was an interesting character.
00:03:28.860
Polish woman from Elizabeth, New Jersey. And she I was telling top before the show started that, you know, even back in like 96 or 97, I remember sitting on the porch with her and she'd go, David.
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David, look up. Look, you see the clouds that are left behind from the planes.
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They don't disappear, David. They don't disappear. It didn't used to be like this.
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And, you know, she had all these stories that she would share with me, but.
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I guess the way it went was my my mother was dating her son for a long time, so my mom and dad got separated when I was real little and around the age of six, she got together with this guy.
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He moved in. His family kind of became my family. And.
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I mean, years later, eight years later, they separated when they separated.
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I didn't have a connection to these. I was only 14 years old when that happened.
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2004, I didn't have a cell phone or any of those things, so.
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And then only, you know, a few years later, I would be homeless by the ages of 17.
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I was homeless. So needless to say, my life took me in a direction where, like, I just lost contact with these people, which is weird.
00:04:56.860
Something came over me maybe three days ago, four days ago.
00:05:04.860
I just had this thing weighing on me to reach out to her.
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And, you know, I had this lexicon of phone numbers that I still remember in my head from childhood.
00:05:13.860
So I thought I had it, man, like I was pretty sure I remembered her number.
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You know, I got that this this line is disconnected thing, and I went through the time again.
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I got a different number and that one was disconnected, too.
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And and I started taking to Google and the white pages and I'm trying to find this woman's number over and over again.
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And I started to get, you know, if Matt was here, he'd make fun of me because I started to get kind of this heavy spirit.
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You know, I'm going through the Internet, I'm going through Google and I'm finding, you know, mentions of her age.
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84 years old was the last time that they, you know, that she was.
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So I start taking to social media and I can't find any traces of her.
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And that guy, you know, her son, he he was my stepdad from when.
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You have a family, a group of people in your life, and then all at once.
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I haven't talked to him since I was, you know, 14 years old.
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And I could kind of see that his social media was there.
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And at one point I did manage to find like a number that was supposedly supposed to be his on Google.
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You know, I'm trying to get in contact with your mother.
00:07:07.860
And I explained that I was just having difficulty.
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It was just like I felt like this thing was put on me to reach out to her.
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So long story short, I did get in contact with somebody a few days later.
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Of my old stepdad never never exchanged a word with this woman.
1.00
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He got into a relationship right after him and my mom separated.
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And I just reached out to this lady and I said, hey, I know this is weird.
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But Barbara was really meaningful to me and I'm having a hard time tracking her down.
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And then before that night was over, I guess she decided to break the news to me that.
00:08:14.860
In fact, Barbara had been dead since 2021.
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I haven't seen this woman since I was 14 years old.
00:09:00.860
Since then, I've had some more correspondence with.
00:09:12.860
And she said that Barbara used to talk about me.
00:10:58.860
I'm not saying that my grandmother was a bad person.
00:11:04.860
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And she went about dealing with them the wrong way.
00:12:32.860
And then those experiences bled into their children.
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And I worked really hard to keep any of this away from him because you know.
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The beginning of the solution that like now has come to fruition.
00:13:28.860
Like he doesn't have these experiences anymore.
00:13:43.860
This episode you're going to hear a lot of the same stories that you've heard
00:14:03.860
And I think there's going to be some some jumping back and forth.
00:14:10.860
My families take place before I was born and after I was born and
00:14:18.860
This lady's like almost a side quest in your family lineage.
1.00
00:14:26.860
Well, actually, I think I think I want to start with her stories.
00:14:34.860
But just saying what I said about my own son and how careful I am.
00:14:45.860
Little white house in the suburbs, you know, drove an old Buick, I think.
00:15:03.860
She would cook a kielbasa and and pierogies and, you know, just.
00:15:10.860
Nothing about her broke the mold in any staggering way.
00:15:21.860
Her husband would be out in the garage tinkering.
00:15:56.860
This is not a woman who you would say was a bad.
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What we're all familiar with now is as sort of a sleep paralysis.
00:17:33.860
And I think she had made some correlations that.
00:17:55.860
She described it in her childhood home in Elizabeth.
00:17:58.860
And she described it in the home that I was living in with her.
00:18:26.860
In the face of the conventional explanation of it.
00:18:29.860
The conventional explanation is that it's a psychological phenomenon.
00:19:00.860
It's actually a really good explanation for it.
00:19:29.860
Would confirm to Barbara that she also saw him.
00:19:49.860
She said she didn't want her mother to hear her.
00:19:52.860
I don't know if it's because she thought she would get mad or anything like that but.
00:20:17.860
For Barbara this was not a psychological phenomenon.
00:20:39.860
And I don't think I've ever actually had myself.
00:22:10.860
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I wasn't really the recipient of a lot of violence, but I did witness a lot of violence, a lot of yelling and abandonment specifically.
00:23:19.860
So when I was real little, we're talking like two, three years old, my mom and my dad separate.
00:23:24.860
And I can remember just, I don't know, countless nights crying into my pillow for my dad to come.
00:23:40.860
Like a lot of people, their households get separated, mom and dad get divorced, whatever.
00:23:51.860
And throughout the research on this show, it's like trauma is the doorway that these things slip in.
00:24:04.860
And shortly after that, we leave the house that I grew up in.
00:24:12.860
Must have been maybe four years old when we lived there.
00:24:15.860
Now in this house, it's one of the first houses that are built on Raleway Avenue in Elizabeth.
00:24:24.860
You know, if you just think about the early settlements of the 13 colonies, right?
00:24:29.860
That whole area, that upper east, northeast coast.
00:24:57.860
So six, seven people in this one house, few dogs, all women.
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I would say like, I was just, I was raised by women.
00:25:12.860
And some of my earliest memories there are bizarre.
00:25:20.860
I do remember conversations that would come from all different directions, whether it was, you know, grandma or the aunts or my mom, that would dismiss all of the thuds and creaks and footsteps and everything else is just, just ghosts.
00:25:36.860
These women did not, like, nobody ever pulled a punch when I was a kid.
1.00
00:25:42.860
And because the house was really old, like I said, so plausible.
00:25:47.860
And I remember one of the strangest occurrences I ever had in that house came from my aunt.
00:26:00.860
And, and to this day, she is, think about the worst version of schizophrenia, what it does to a person.
00:26:11.860
I, maybe I'm too crass and I lack the ability to describe it in, in more graceful words.
00:26:17.860
She looks like a before and after photo of somebody on crack in just the worst way.
00:26:27.860
I went to go visit some family and they showed me a picture of her and it was in ghastly.
00:26:33.860
It's, it's, it's remarkable to me that she's still alive.
00:26:39.860
And of course the system that just fails her constantly.
00:26:44.860
But then of course, you know, that area, right?
00:26:54.860
She got arrested for trying to climb the George Washington bridge.
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She's been arrested for standing on the New Jersey transit tracks.
00:27:03.860
And like before the train ever came, people called the police and, but they had to stop
00:27:07.860
the train from running to get her off the tracks.
00:27:11.860
And she was even like in the local news, you know, for that spat.
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I got more than a few stories about her, but before she's ever diagnosed, before she really
00:27:27.860
goes off the deep end, she's, I think she's babysitting us, me and her two kids.
00:27:34.860
And she asked me to go and get the silverware drawer.
00:27:38.860
I remember that day she was sick and she was laying on the sofa.
00:27:42.860
We had this tan leather sofa in the living room and bizarre request request, but I, I
00:27:48.860
go and I get this silverware drawer and I'm, I'm so young, like four or five.
00:27:53.860
And I'm like wrestling this thing out of the cabinets and I'm carrying it down the hallway.
00:28:01.860
And there's this one hallway that leads from the kitchen to the living room and it's carpeted
00:28:11.860
She would lay down in that fucking hallway, dude.
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And you would step on her and she would stand up and people would go for a ride on her back
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Um, and I'm in that hallway and everything starts to feel strange and I, and I hear a
00:28:30.860
And it's even at that age, I discern that it's not, I didn't hear it with my ears.
00:28:41.860
It's the only time in my life I've ever heard what people would call like mind speak or telepathy.
00:28:51.860
And she just said, as if she was talking to somebody else, she goes, he's going to drop
00:29:01.860
And as soon as that happened, it was like, I got vertigo.
00:29:18.860
I let that thing go because I couldn't detect up and down anymore.
00:29:36.860
And I don't remember if it happened to me or if it happened to one of her kids, because
00:29:49.860
But, and I remember, I don't, like I said, I don't know who it was happening to these days.
00:30:04.860
I used to say that it happened to me, but now it's a memory of a memory.
00:30:11.860
Somebody got pinned down and choked on the kitchen floor.
00:30:17.860
And I know that whoever it happened to the other kids watched it happen.
00:30:26.860
And either the one who got choked, I don't know if that was me.
00:30:29.860
I don't know, or the ones who were watching said, I'm going to call the police.
00:30:42.860
And then I don't know what happened after that.
00:30:48.860
And that's kind of like where that one leaves off.
00:30:52.860
In fact, that one was so strange to me that I thought I was going to be schizophrenic.
00:31:01.860
And I knew that my aunt, you know, as I got older, was schizophrenic.
00:31:09.860
It was like, schizophrenia doesn't onset into a, into men typically past a certain age.
00:31:23.860
So when that happened, like when I finally crossed that, you know, that threshold, I, I did sigh a breath of release or relief rather.
00:31:32.860
You know, I remember checking in one day, like, oh man, I'm past that age.
00:31:37.860
When, when you last spoke with your cousin, he's the one that's in and out of juvie.
00:31:41.860
He would have been the guy that saw this happen to you or to him or to somebody, right?
00:32:08.860
I mean, I, I do, I do want to look at this at the day.
00:32:12.860
I mean, yeah, I reached out to her son recently and we'll get into, to what happened to him.
00:32:18.860
Um, for the first time, basically since I was 12 or 13, he also ended up becoming schizophrenic.
00:32:28.860
And, uh, he got put in juvie and then in juvie, some things went wrong.
00:32:36.860
And then he got put into adult prison as he, as he got older.
00:32:45.860
Um, that's an interesting, uh, wrinkle in the story, right?
00:32:53.860
And yeah, if you're watching from outside of your body, which I've had that similar experience.
00:33:03.860
And then also that would lead you to question, why would she send you to do such a bizarre
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task that almost knowing that you'd fail in order to then do that?
00:33:14.860
If it was you, I've told my mom about it and she just goes like, no, that never happened.
00:33:21.860
But when I tell you like that story had me checking in every few years with what the age for schizophrenia
00:33:38.860
Is it because you didn't want, you didn't want to become the way she was?
00:33:59.860
I also knew there was something in the research that suggested schizophrenia has a tendency to skip a generation.
00:34:08.860
Um, I actually want to look that up real quick.
00:34:17.860
Schizophrenia doesn't technically skip a generation in direct predictable way, but it can appear that way because it's polygenetic or polygenic rather, and not solely inherited.
00:34:27.860
And while it often clusters in families, the risk depends on combination of.
00:34:30.860
Okay, so so there was a time when I guess what appears that way was what I interpreted as, you know, the research.
00:34:39.860
The research says it skips a generation apparently just appears to skip a generation.
00:34:42.860
But I was thinking like, oh, maybe it came from my grandmother and one kid got it, but the other kid got skipped the other kid being my mom.
00:34:57.860
And that maybe that meant like I was afraid of this.
00:35:00.860
Not like, you know, but it was just something that would cross my mind and I would get worried.
00:35:05.860
So there's no way like when she said it didn't happen.
00:35:17.860
I remember that woman's voice, and I know what that instance did to me as far as like my my fascination with with schizophrenia.
00:35:29.860
And then as far as the seeing it from a different POV, I just wonder if I was.
00:35:36.860
I don't think that means that I was dying necessarily.
00:35:40.860
It could just mean like I was disassociating from trauma.
00:35:45.860
And children, I think, have an ability sometimes to slip like if there truly is a thing astral projecting or any of that shit, which I think is a real.
00:35:57.860
I think kids can often slip into that accidentally, given the right circumstances.
00:36:02.860
And I think that that's probably what I ended up doing.
00:36:07.860
Another weird story that happened in that house.
00:36:11.860
Which kind of connects to what we were just talking about, this disassociation.
00:36:32.860
My mom was very distant and she'll tell you she didn't know how to be a mom.
00:36:38.860
Before my mom and my aunt were born, had a son.
00:36:51.860
They made my grandmother put him up for adoption.
00:36:58.860
One of my aunts said, well, I think they almost wanted to see her push back.
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There were a lot of fascinating things in that briefcase.
00:37:36.860
And we'll probably get into that later, but one of these things is.
00:37:45.860
And it was this heart wrenching song that she had written about.
00:38:07.860
Reuniting families who were put up for adoption and things like that.
00:38:12.860
And she was trying to appeal to them and you know.
00:38:30.860
I always say it's like a funny story with my name.
00:38:44.860
Which we actually were talking about that with Vicki Joy Anderson the other day.
00:40:17.860
I remember she had me looking into crystal balls.
00:46:42.860
But I was at least like in the nicer side of town.
00:46:47.860
I used to say I had like a Goonies kind of childhood.
00:47:09.860
You know my kind of infamous black baby story.
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You know so we can kind of get this all in there.
00:49:50.860
If there was anything that this could have been.
00:52:33.860
It's not something you think about all the time.
00:54:01.860
I would be getting shoots in the bottom of my feet.
00:54:39.860
But there was a time where I would reach out to him.
00:55:44.860
Anything that left me with a lingering feeling of dread.
00:55:47.860
It was a fascinating thing that happened to us.
00:56:18.860
That picture that you showed of the tall grass and the garbage heap.
00:56:36.860
It looks like you're walking in the distance on the top.
00:56:41.860
It's like the tall grass is tall enough to obfuscate the giant concrete pipe.
00:56:46.860
But the pipe is tall enough that it would look like in this photo here.
00:56:49.860
You were traveling along the brown tips of the tall grass in the distance.
00:56:53.860
So you would see everything down to your feet pretty much.
00:57:32.860
Only people you're ever going to find back there.
01:01:43.860
I guess we're fucking living in this place now.
01:02:04.860
Like we've moved to the really bad side of town.
01:02:50.860
Chrome was right next to a place called Port Redding.
01:03:52.860
I'm standing on my front porch and he hears it.
01:09:16.860
The bunch of black dudes kick her door in.
1.00
01:10:17.860
I guess just about what it's like to be schizophrenic.
01:10:31.860
And she tells me a couple of interesting things.
01:16:56.860
I don't know if he had a lady's voice in his head.
01:17:05.860
I think he was also like a pants around the ankles pisser.
01:17:23.860
And right on the other side of the chain link fence was.
01:22:39.460
Because I've definitely smelled things that are off.
01:22:59.860
and he goes i knew i wasn't tripping when i smelled that so yeah he's smelling this too
01:23:06.220
but you know it's just like i think there's layers to it i think the deeper you are
01:23:11.840
in this generational iniquity thing like i think a dog man is something that you got to have layers
01:23:18.180
of access maybe to see that and you know i think that my grandmother
01:23:26.740
i guess to revisit some of her actually no what no we're not going to go there that's just
01:23:33.700
how it goes with my cousin so that was just to show you like aunt lisa's got this thing
01:23:39.920
and then the kids got it too now what's his name his name is julian okay and he's crushing right now
01:23:46.360
he's working hard you know he's got a baby he just had a baby girl like thank god like he gets to have
01:23:54.620
a fucking life you know what i mean like 12 to 25 i'm sitting over here bitching because 6 to 14 i
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01:24:00.420
live with people that i didn't know this dude was in the fucking system from like 11 or 12 to like 25
0.97
01:24:05.960
years old and his mother is just rotting away on the street somewhere his brother
01:24:14.060
you know he he's he's troubled life's not easy for him and he i think and i'll get into this later is
01:24:27.900
doing the same thing grandma did he's leaning into the new age he's leaning into a d-based form of
0.75
01:24:34.700
spirituality that's not christ-centered so he's doing crystals he's you know he's got a fucking
0.99
01:24:43.920
sigil on himself not a sigil it's like an anti-possession symbol it comes from the show
01:24:49.080
supernatural i was gonna say that it's a fucking wb show dude it literally has no roots anywhere
0.96
01:24:58.000
previous to that show i mean it's a pentagram in a circle like you know obviously yeah sure it's got
01:25:03.880
some roots but like in its specific form it only appears in that show first that's still like i
01:25:10.460
guess you know a powerful symbol of sorts but like damn dog it comes from that but that's this dude
01:25:16.480
going through shit trying to grab onto something to deal with what he sees as very real
01:25:23.140
um so after i get kicked out going back to you know my mom meets the new guy shortly after that i
01:25:33.640
get kicked out i'm dating a girl and she has great internet
0.88
01:25:49.020
it's it's it's the same time because i'm dating this girl actually when i'm reading this book
01:25:54.720
my mom tells me it's whitley striber communion i go to barnes and nobles i steal it
01:25:59.960
it's still it's still on the shelf at barnes and nobles like so i read this book i remember i'm
01:26:07.400
with this girl at the time and i am homeless but i have a job i'm a security officer for a company
01:26:13.580
called sora s-o-r-a and i am guarding a fucking aldi's in the hood i'm five seven these are black
0.99
01:26:24.780
people they don't take me seriously at all dude at all and aldi's and aldi's yeah all these i used
01:26:32.660
to think all these was going to be like like all these used to be trash it's kind of dope now yeah
01:26:38.020
now it's nice but like when i was guarding all these like it was trash and um specifically the
01:26:45.460
issue that they had was homeless people would wait for the cart so they would pull a scheme they'd go
01:26:49.820
hey hey can i help you load your groceries into the car into your car and then in exchange they
01:26:55.460
get the quarter right so if you do that because you need a quarter to take a cart from aldi's if
01:26:59.200
you do that enough you can go across the street to the liquor store and get a 40 because a 40 is like
01:27:05.380
at the time is like two dollars and change so like really kind of a it was really straightforward
01:27:12.240
no definitely not five seven and a half just five seven five seven if i'm lucky um so so uh
01:27:20.660
i remember on my lunch breaks from that place i mean this girl you know we're teenagers she would
0.99
01:27:29.060
she would drive me there and then we would sit in her car and then i would just get out of the car
01:27:35.500
and go be like hey stop bothering these old people there you go this is a banger shirt
0.88
01:27:40.120
no longer available um but i would i would you know we would sit in her black honda accord
01:27:46.020
in the parking lot of aldi's i'd be on the clock i was allowed to sit in my car and you just get out
01:27:51.900
basically as a deterrent at any given time say hey don't bother these people don't do that don't do
01:27:56.820
that so it's kind of a chill gig and while i was in there i would read this book and this is where
01:28:04.060
the connections came in as i'm reading this book over and over again whitley striver's communion is
01:28:12.260
an amalgamation of abductee testimony that's what it is i don't know how many people are in it but
01:28:19.420
it's a lot so you start to notice patterns sleep paralysis shadow people i think there's even a
01:28:29.500
mention of hat man in that book there it is it's got the cover with the that's the one that i had
01:28:34.860
the one with the the face on it oh yeah not that one the one with the black eyes beneath it um but
01:28:40.900
yeah so yep that's it but dude imagine this this is real life this isn't a movie right and i'm reading
01:29:03.300
but the stories that they're describing are barbara's stories they're describing sleep paralysis
01:29:12.060
i had only heard sleep paralysis from barbara they're describing these shadow people standing
01:29:16.860
over you while you can't move in the night i had only heard those stories from barbara
01:29:20.960
and at some point i'm pretty sure it mentions a man with a hat
01:29:24.420
when i knew it was like the mystery of my life caught on fire like there was something there
01:29:33.920
there was something real like i was in a movie i was in a horror movie there was something and like
01:29:40.740
all of a sudden man and i think it was like it came at a time where my life was so like fucked up
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01:29:50.960
you know what i mean like i i had nobody the only person i had was this girl
01:29:55.160
you know mom no dad no no relatives like nothing everything is gone all my childhood friends like
01:30:01.840
everything is gone i've been removed over and over and over again i'm just lost in space
01:30:06.760
it was the perfect time for me to focus only on that i didn't want to look at like my life
01:30:12.500
and i become hyper obsessive yeah like hey look at this gnostic knowledge right
01:30:18.780
it wasn't even just like this gnostic knowledge too it was like this is happening around me
01:30:24.460
by that time i also had had one sleep paralysis experience i was before i was kicked out so it was
01:30:32.940
pretty relative to that time frame because i was only in that house for about a year and a half where i was
01:30:36.620
kicked out i woke up one morning to somebody holding me face down in my pillow and i could feel the weight
01:30:45.880
of somebody on my back and i remember going through like a few different really explosive thoughts
01:30:52.740
i thought it was my mom fucking around with me i'm just trying to make sense of it right
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01:30:57.080
it's not like my mom ever had a history of doing that to me or anything like that but like
01:31:00.020
something is happening i have to make sense of it and then it lasts so long that i'm i'm i'm
01:31:06.320
dramatically suffocating so my brain goes to like there's an intruder and they're trying to kill me
01:31:11.160
and and then finally it's so chaotic i can't even determine that i'm i'm paralyzed i can't tell that i
01:31:18.740
can't do this with my arms right i just can feel a person on my back there's a priority list you're
01:31:23.840
thinking about when you wake up and somebody's suffocating you and the the fact that like you don't
01:31:28.100
have full autonomy over your limbs is actually a secondary observation the number one observation
01:31:33.160
is somebody's on my back and they're trying to kill me i finally finally gain control and i explode
01:31:39.600
my face out of the pillow i turn around nobody's in the room so i had i had had like sleep paralysis
01:31:45.260
um this this one time uh now that's not hey no it's not the same thing as a mistake um and
01:31:54.120
i i think i had like moments where sleep paralysis was starting to come upon me because i remember for
01:32:01.340
a period i wouldn't sleep on my back turns out it happens a lot if you sleep on your back at least
01:32:05.080
if you're susceptible to it um all these a dude uh still reserved likes their delis i don't think i
01:32:11.440
think all these is um getting popped now for like all kinds of horrifying crap in their food
01:32:15.760
horse meat uh is a big one it's fine i'm gonna go there after the show it's like when you find out
01:32:21.220
that they're cooking cats in the chinese restaurants in new york and new jersey and i'm like these are
01:32:24.920
great cats so i had a little bit of of knowledge and i guess what what i'm getting at is that it
01:32:32.320
made it personal now like it's my grandma and it's this woman who raised me and i've had like some kind
01:32:37.360
of experience like this and i start just feverishly after after the book i would stay up dude like i would
01:32:46.780
sneak into this girl's um room so that i didn't have to sleep on the streets and i wouldn't go to
0.67
01:32:54.600
sleep i would sit at her computer till four till the sun came up researching researching researching
01:33:01.420
all of these experiences i was obsessed with the hat man for a while just trying to understand like
01:33:08.820
why what is he what is this and in that time i saw my dad like once or twice while i was dating this
01:33:18.580
chick i was so obsessed with it that i asked him and he said yeah he said he had woken up several times
01:33:26.300
throughout his life to see that guy and that he would be paralyzed and the way that he would get out
01:33:32.500
of it was like with anger he would get so angry that he would burst out of it he said that there was
01:33:37.300
times where he would even step up to him and he'd watch him just just like like grains of sand just
01:33:43.420
disappear just and he said he you know he thought it because i have a brother um he thought it was him
01:33:50.620
he's just trying to make sense of it like who is in my room who's standing in the corner who's sitting
01:33:56.240
in the chair and this thing would just vanish and then he would same phenomenon of my aunt first
01:34:03.320
episode of the show of the top lobster show it was a hat man hat man guy she was doing all kinds of
01:34:10.660
crazy stuff scissors scissors in the lawn seeing which doctors to get him to go away and uh oh yeah
01:34:15.340
it's the same story everybody sees the same guy and they'll say it's you know um
01:34:20.160
strictly a psychological phenomenon but i didn't buy that because of barbara's story
01:34:27.060
mm-hmm and that the duster and the hat is unique to like western culture it's just like out of all
01:34:33.500
the things my aunt saw this entity in puerto rico though and that's not really puerto rican culture
01:34:41.340
this um who's the guy that made the kruger movies right he made them he made he designed freddy
01:34:49.660
kruger based off of his friends like night terror experience that he that he learned about
01:34:54.100
wes craven wes craven thank you nance um yeah uh kruger was and think about it the fedora
01:35:00.280
and the nightmares and shit like yeah so this thing for me by the way like this is the this is the
0.69
01:35:08.440
inception this is what i want this book to to be about in so many ways because
01:35:21.740
permanently towards this and this is actually what was really hard because barbara
01:35:35.360
i had gotten in touch with barbara in 2020 after the lockdowns
01:35:43.100
and she got it man she was like this is bullshit don't get the vaccine
0.64
01:35:49.500
um and i'm just telling her like all the things that i've learned by then i hadn't talked to her
01:35:55.540
for so long i had learned so much and and that was the last conversation that i had with her i talked
01:36:05.440
to her a couple of times in the span of a few months in 2020 and i i did stop by one day i brought my son
01:36:17.220
in his uh car seat stroller you know kind of click into one another
01:36:24.140
and i pulled up and i and i brought him into that house
01:36:27.480
and i sat in the living room with her and i showed her my son and
01:36:38.460
that was it 2020 and then 2015 when my son was born
01:36:49.240
and um so i had this conversation with her during 2020 and we're
01:36:57.760
telling her all the things that i learned and i just wanted to
01:37:05.520
i guess i i had dedicated my life to those things
01:37:15.220
you know i wanted to tell her that like these stories that you told me when i was a kid they
01:37:30.540
and for a long time to my own detriment i wouldn't let them go
01:37:46.760
that's why i was trying to get in touch with her i think like it wasn't it wasn't just that
01:37:49.380
like i told you there was something that just came over me and i was supposed to
01:37:52.080
like i felt like i was supposed to reach out to her
01:37:54.200
there's like reach out to her about what like i definitely would have told her this
01:38:01.600
but yeah man you know you start looking into this whole thing this
01:38:27.180
all the album covers with one eye symbolism where the pop star is covering their eye
01:38:33.120
and then it's all the music videos with all the
01:38:39.020
and it just spirals and spirals and spirals i mean a lot of the guys
01:38:42.620
who are listening and girls that are listening to this show right now like they're in that
01:39:29.740
we've we've kind of coined it like the i don't think we coined it but this idea of like the refining fire
01:39:46.940
you know the abandonment thing and everything but like
01:40:11.440
you know until you're ready to come out of the oven
01:41:01.320
too she'd sit me down and tell me to look at the ball and tell me what she saw