00:13:36.100The other kids, like Jess always says that, too.
00:13:37.660she's like 10 and then there was babies in the house and you know her older sister's like uh 11
00:13:42.920or 12 or whatever and now everybody's involved in raising these kids but the grandma is really0.99
00:13:47.680the mom yeah that's basically you know what was going on except it was just all women there was
00:13:52.760no men in the house i have a very faint memory of my grandpa one time on his knee he's singing
00:13:56.840the abcs you know but he passed away shortly after that so i was not even my grandpa that's
00:14:02.580my great grandpa my mom's dad bounced when she was a kid so that grandpa i have no idea the0.79
00:14:08.500clairvoyant so that lady's all fucked up right yeah she her husband bounces on her very early0.88
00:14:13.940she's left to raise these kids she's already had uh to put one of her kids up for adoption do you1.00
00:14:19.260know how she fell into the clairvoyant thing like she was a lifelong alien abductee victim
00:14:24.400so from childhood she was expressing stories you know and and uh telling the adults around her
00:14:32.420that horrifying things were happening they didn't know it's not that they didn't believe it
00:14:37.060from my understanding they just didn't there's what the fuck do we do you know and so later on
00:14:41.660in life once i got a hold of some of those stories the testimony from her i recognized what it was
00:14:47.980because i had read some books on it and i was familiar with the phenomenon enough she was
00:14:52.620trying to explain alien abduction to people who didn't have a grid for she was saying alien
00:14:57.060abduction they just were like what what's she talking about i don't even know that they they
00:15:01.000were confused it's just like when a kid comes to you you go like okay maybe you pray with them i
00:15:04.420don't even know if they did that i mean it seems that my family was like catholic to some extent
00:15:08.780but like by the time i come around there's no serious practitioners or like you know real people
00:15:13.140of faith um but she's saying you know that she would be laying in bed at night and she would
00:15:20.280either be visited by a bright white light that would appear in her window or she would be uh
00:15:25.560visited by you know little shadow people or a white owl in her window and um and then she would
00:15:32.180scream when she could finally muster up because it seemed like she was in some type of paralysis
00:15:35.860or whatever and you know her mother would come running in the room and as soon as she would
00:15:41.640touch the door that light or those shadows or that owl would vanish you know so over and over
00:15:47.620again nothing's there how old were you when you knew that about your grandma that was a weird
00:15:52.580era of my life that was like um you could call it like a saga i was 15 to 16 years old when i
00:15:59.860started to put a bunch of weird pieces together and discover that um my family was almost
00:16:07.780i guess for lack of a better term plagued by something that hit others harder and some of
00:16:16.020them wouldn't even like really look at it they just go like oh strange happenings you know keep
00:16:19.760movement only this is a generational thing and um how did it happen though for you did your grandma
00:16:25.520sit down and say listen man i used to have this owl come visit or did your mom tell you about
00:16:29.280your grandma so grandma betty that's who we're talking about with the owl she dies by the time
00:16:35.460i'm sick so 1996 she passes away so she's not telling me anything at all uh because she's dead
00:16:41.000and that was a weird time for me because you know i had lost my dad and then my mom became very
00:16:49.820absent and then this lady that was supposed to be my mom just died and then all that like shortly
00:16:55.100after that i'm whisked off to like a new family like people i've never met before and that's six
00:16:58.820six yeah so um then then i've got it's basically my mom is dating a guy who she will date for the
00:17:07.140next eight years and his house and family become my house and family overnight i just move there
00:17:13.380that go then she goes hey we're gonna you're going to sleep over somebody's house and then
00:17:18.120i never go back home no way that's it i just never go back home that's kind of cool though0.97
00:17:22.020and no it sucked ass because i had the dopest action figures i had street sharks i had spider0.91
00:17:26.240man action figures i had all the cool at the old house yeah we just left i was told we're gonna go0.99
00:17:31.720spend the night at my friend's house that's what my mom said and then i would wake up day after day
00:17:37.320after day wanting to go back home to see you know my great grandma my aunt always wait and the mom
00:17:41.720was like well i don't know if this is gonna work out with this dude or not so i'll just tell them
00:17:44.520that it's like a temporary thing i have no idea so who's who tells you that hey grandma betty was
00:17:49.400getting visited by like 15 years old i go and visit my aunt margaret and margaret is like
00:17:54.360a actual angel like this woman is your actual mom's sister or no grandma's sister so my great
00:18:00.280on okay got it she is to this day the most like caring and charitable person that i know she's
00:18:06.940grandma betty's sister grandma betty's not a clairvoyant aunt margaret not a clairvoyant
00:18:11.040not getting visited by aliens super based i don't think she's getting visited by aliens if she is
00:18:15.040she's smart enough to not really share it with kids because that's a crazy thing to do um and
00:18:20.020i guess what ends up happening is i so i'm with my cousin from florida we are at aunt margaret's0.98
00:18:28.040house in new jersey and like kids do we make a ouija board it's a shit ass one it's not like an0.91
00:18:34.960actual what's your cousin's name katherine so me and katherine are we make a ouija board and we0.96
00:18:40.340don't really ever even get to the point of interacting what do you mean make a ouija board
00:18:43.440they don't you don't just buy them uh so there was a shelf or um you're like a tall dresser with
00:18:49.060drawers but it was a shitty one and it was press board mostly so we managed to get like the backs
00:18:55.780of one of the drawers out you've got a press board rectangle now and we just took some sharpie and
00:19:00.340we're drawing out a ouija board so you're just naturally prone to the occult like you're just
00:19:05.300naturally like drawn you're just like hey we got nothing else to do let's just make a ouija board
00:19:09.300i i guess so i don't know i i mean that sounds yeah maybe maybe it seems like i'm saying like
00:19:15.380your cousin you're like want to go play baseball no let's go to find the ice cream truck no let's
00:19:18.740go to the arcade no let's make a ouija board man start doing a cold stuff well uh yeah i guess so
00:19:24.340You're just kind of like that was just kind of the route that like you're saying that you kind of inherited this generational thing through your family.
00:19:30.420Maybe. I don't want to put too much weight on that.
00:19:32.300I imagine a lot of kids have screwed around with the Ouija board.
00:20:34.080Well, that's a weird thing, not to go off topic, but I got buddies.
00:20:37.040I think maybe a lot of people do that took acid and didn't come back or took mushrooms and didn't come back.
00:20:43.200It's like some people do the thing and then they don't come back.
00:20:46.920I mean, from from my point of view, it looks now like you just kick open a doorway, you know, and you've given access.
00:20:53.720Yeah. My dad told me that, too. When I first was in rehab in I mean, it was way later that he told me when I was already a grown up.
00:21:00.900He's like, yeah, dude, like we freaked out when we knew you're into acid and stuff because I had buddies in the 70s that were doing acid that never came back.
00:21:08.620Yeah. So she, you know, Aunt Margaret ends up telling us enough information. And what came out was this story about my grandmother, Grandma Betty, the clairvoyant who passed away when I was six, had a lot of experiences that she didn't know what to do with.
00:21:30.980because it's basically like oh i see the kids are doing something spooky she's sharing spooky
00:21:34.240family stories with us and she says uh there was a book that she read once upon a time that rattled
00:21:42.260her so much that she actually asked your mother my mother her daughter not to read it don't ever
00:21:48.380read this book whatever she read in this book had disturbed her so much that she she didn't want to
00:21:53.700deal with it she wanted like no mention of it she didn't want her daughter to read it she want
00:21:57.980anybody know what the hell is going on and so i after that left and there's some weird
00:22:06.200occurrences that week because i my schizophrenic aunt is there that week at at aunt margaret's0.92
00:22:12.520house and she's on her meds and i do get to talk to her and she says some of the weirdest shit
00:22:17.260ever about smelling the devil before he appears and he smells like sulfur and and rotting flesh0.96
00:22:23.460and when she smells that smell she knows it's him she turns around she'll see him sometimes
00:22:27.640he'll be you know what okay which aunt is this this is the schizophrenic aunt aunt lisa okay okay
00:22:33.740because we're talking about a lot of people now there's so many crazy women okay i'm trying to
00:22:37.620keep track but so it's aunt lisa aunt lisa is mom's sis my mom's sister okay the daughter of
00:22:42.680the clairvoyant okay technically aunt margaret is her aunt too right because aunt margaret is great
00:22:48.500aunt okay so aunt lisa being one generation lower and aunt lisa yeah she's she's full-blown0.65
00:22:54.780schizophrenic i think it's you know these things had access to her because of generational iniquity0.99
00:22:59.760and when she used the ouija board she really kicked that shit wide open that week was a big0.98
00:23:03.120week it's a weird week yeah during that week you're spending time with aunt lisa who did the0.97
00:23:06.900ouija board never came back she's talking about smelling the devil before he shows up so i know
00:23:12.060aunt lisa's crazy by this point everybody's well aware and aunt margaret's taking care of her
00:23:17.320aunt lisa's on her meds so she's doing pretty well she's helping clean and cook things are
00:23:21.740going pretty pretty cool for her and um i'm on the porch with her it's an enclosed porch
00:23:26.620and it's nighttime in the mountains kind of the border of like you know upstate new york
00:23:33.480and new jersey so when it's dark it's dark you see all the stars it's pitch black there's no0.99
00:23:37.940street lamps and she's on this porch with me the fucking lights are off and she's smoking a cigarette0.99
00:23:42.080so i can smell him before he shows up and her fucking cigarette chair i can remember it her0.99
00:23:48.700cigarette cherry is bright red in the darkness of the porch and i'm just sitting there 15 years old1.00
00:23:53.260listening to this woman who like you know she's a weird character man she used to use leave0.99
00:23:59.340messages on my house phone and and you i'd go downstairs in the morning and i'd press play on0.94
00:24:04.000the house phone answer machine and she'd be like david where are you and then she'd go quiet and1.00
00:24:11.020she would go this she would she would do this shit it was so crazy my mom would get so upset dude0.99
00:24:14.260because it's her sister she loves her sister but like you know you can't she go he's dead isn't he1.00
00:24:19.100you fucking killed him you know yeah dude and i'm just sitting there she's crazy she's no wonder you0.99
00:24:25.160guys get touchy when i pick up the phone and don't say anything no you don't like those silences i1.00
00:24:29.840tell you what though my mom used to do this thing to me where when aunt lisa would show up because
00:24:34.240she would have her episode she would dip for a long time and then she'd come back and she would
00:24:38.060bang on the door my mom would take me in the closet and cover my mouth so i was a little kid
00:24:43.680somebody's banging on the door she just didn't want to have an access to you she's like i don't1.00
00:24:47.340it wasn't just to me it was just like she couldn't handle her sister you know her sister would show0.95
00:24:51.740up to her job because you know years later even though we would have moved a half an hour away0.84
00:24:56.300my mom still kept the same job since i was a child and at least i knew where that was and it1.00
00:25:01.620was in elizabeth elizabeth is a bit of a shithole it is like a slum it's a hood and and lisa would0.78
00:25:06.720just be cracked out walking through the streets of elizabeth and every once in a while she'd find0.81
00:25:11.880herself in those neck of the woods and just show up in my mom's job and then everybody including0.99
00:25:17.200my mom would have to deal with so her co-workers would have to deal with it at least by the way1.00
00:25:22.020at least that's not like a bar your mom your mom worked at a no my mom worked at a business1.00
00:25:25.300furniture company oh she'd show up at like a normal place a normal fucking place of business1.00
00:25:29.720yes it was grandma betty her mother who worked at the bar okay got it so my mom was in that bar0.90
00:25:34.880doing cocaine at like 13 uh-huh that's like the stories that she's told me um so anywho yeah i
00:25:41.320i get that information about that book but she doesn't know the name of the book but she said
00:25:46.440my mom was told not to read it so i get back home and i say hey mom you know is it true that i called
00:25:53.480i called her mom like you know grandma betty i called her mom they they all told me to call her
00:25:59.000mom uh so i called her mom my whole life so i was like hey mom is it true that mom it was always a
00:26:05.400weird conversation as i got older i realized that was strange tattoos when you were 15.
00:26:10.600um i had a couple of tattoos when i was maybe 15 16 yeah and um what were the what was like0.89
00:26:16.440the first tattoo was it an arm tattoo fucking douchebag nautical star on my shoulder and then0.69
00:26:21.880um and then a trinity on my hand uh which is that one i pick and poke that when i was homeless so0.93
00:26:28.600bro at 15 you got the hand tattoo or 16 came in like 16 yeah tail end of 16 beginning of 17.
00:26:34.120So you were already saying, like, yeah, F the whole thing, man.
00:26:36.660I don't plan on being – because back then it wasn't cool to have, like, visible tattoos.
00:26:44.060Yeah, like back then if you went to go, you know, try to get hired for a job and they saw a tattoo that was visual, like, that would matter.
00:26:51.100It's strange, though, because I've never had –
00:33:38.740It's like what I will say is, and this is going to sound really offensive, but the people who wrote the Bible weren't great at telling stories.
00:39:18.180i feel like we haven't even scratched the surface 39 minutes i figured we were at like 10. no no bro
00:39:24.180what we're making good time no dude he's got a wild ass story and i knew there's no way he'd tell
00:39:29.460me unless it was like on a show yeah um what a crazy person dude like he just grew up in this0.66
00:39:34.980crazy ass environment like the spirit realm was just like get this guy like don't let him out0.97
00:39:39.780don't don't let him figure out who he is you just get that feeling as you're hearing this story0.88
00:39:43.700You can't have that many people circling the camp trying to, like, destroy a child and be raised in that environment unless, like, the spirit realm is like, don't let him get loose.
00:59:17.220So you look at it like whatever that voice was was, like, trying to save you because you were taking this silverware drawer with, like, steak knives in it to your aunt who was crazy and potentially going to kill you with the knives?
01:06:41.960So in that same trailer park that my buddy lived where we saw the penises on the cover of The Little Mermaid because he had all the OG VHSs, we had a little wooded area.
01:06:53.340So basically there was the town, and on the outskirts of town was a trailer park, and then right out there was, like, the woods edge.
01:08:00.160dirt trails with ramps all kinds of stuff was like that too that was like the best it was also
01:08:04.560edged up against um a section of the trailer park where they just took old decommissioned trailers
01:08:10.360and just abandoned them there nice so you could explore them endlessly they were filled with all
01:08:14.540the things of the people who lived in their prior like none of it was emptied out so you could just
01:08:18.600go we'd visit those things i'd find like pocket knives and okay it was the best so we're in there
01:08:24.500one day and i'm sure hat man's like breeding in there dude no i don't think i don't know if he0.74
01:08:28.720breeds i don't know if he if he gets any it would be hanging if he has sex so we would spend time
01:08:36.780by the creek there was a creek that ran through those woods and there was tall grass and we would
01:08:40.680stomp down paths through that tall grass and one day i'm in there with my buddy shane uh shane o'brien
01:08:46.260shout out to shane and we uh we're walking out of the tall grass to go meet up with our buddies who
01:08:52.100are sitting on their bikes by the ramps and all of a sudden something starts rustling like not just
01:08:57.000rustling like hauling ass in the tall grass towards us i grew up in a house where my mom was
01:09:03.620we we loved the crocodile hunter as a kid all i did was watch animal planet we had so many dogs0.99
01:09:12.480at a time we had raccoons we had owls we had tortoises we had every fucking critter you could0.83
01:09:17.600imagine what do you mean as pets yeah you had a raccoon as a pet yeah they actually make really0.96
01:09:21.780good pets no i've heard that but i just you didn't strike me as the type i thought you would be more0.98
01:09:25.400concerned about the owl we had owls as pets parents all kinds of shit like man all kinds of0.95
01:09:30.460in your house yeah yeah well interestingly enough in the backyard of the railway house we had um0.97
01:09:36.220my mom called it the run or something like that but it was like giant cages they would have been
01:09:39.980for dogs i guess big big ass the raccoons lived in those they lived in those you'd go out there
01:09:44.640and pet them and feed them and they had babies back there and we had the baby it was really cool0.97
01:09:49.040so all of that to say like i know animals i know animals i don't give a shit now it's not something0.91
01:09:54.580that i talk about now because i was just so exhausted from the smell of animals from having0.96
01:09:58.820animals and just like i don't want shit i got cats now i'm good but i knew i was familiar with0.87
01:10:04.480whatever lived there in carteret new jersey there wasn't shit i mean towards the end of me living0.94
01:10:08.880there we started to get whitetail that was weird like we didn't have whitetail in the area and they
01:10:13.440started to you know it became a real problem in the northeast actually the amount of whitetail
01:10:17.120um and so there wasn't anything that was going to be causing that much ruckus of that size
01:10:23.820that was pretty much not a dog so in my mind in the couple you're in the high you're in the high
01:10:30.120grass trying to go to the homies and something's causing something's running towards me and running
01:10:33.800towards you yeah you can see the way the grass is parting and you're just watching the grass kind
01:10:38.780of go like this getting closer watching is like that's a stretch this happens in three seconds
01:10:43.800yeah it's so fast yeah i think dog i grab my buddy he grabs me that's the kind of fear that
01:10:49.380we're in we're like it's so startling as kids i'm like 11 i think we just grab each other and
01:10:56.580this dog dog this thing bursts out in front of us now now we created a path right time of day
01:11:05.580it's day it's daylight dog i mean just bright daylight yeah yeah middle of the day whatever
01:11:09.180summer probably summertime maybe i don't know middle of the day it's not cold out i know that
01:11:13.660like it's it's a nice probably spring or summer day you liked it when your friend held you tight
01:11:18.980like that i didn't like dude we just prepared to die like i thought we were gonna get mulled by it
01:11:23.220was that crazy of a situation it was it was and it just happened so quick the thing that it was
01:11:28.020moving towards us so definitively that it was clear it was coming for us to do something to you
01:11:33.540whatever this thing is is coming for us whatever so we grab each other it bursts out into the path
01:11:39.540that we've created and then in like one stride it's out of the path and onto the other side of
01:11:44.980the tall grass but what we saw when it came out far enough that i probably could have leaned and
01:11:49.680touched it uh was toddler sized we're 11 this is toddler size baby herman baby baby black0.74
01:11:58.760black baby black baby naked black baby no or no wiener didn't see a wiener moving pretty fast0.99
01:12:08.300no hair naked black baby wow black but like black like like um gray like the cover of your bible1.00
01:12:19.080black black like that not like a like what we call like a black person today but actual black0.99
01:12:24.680well when you're 11 that's all you kids you go black baby oh black baby and you run out of the0.99
01:12:32.140out of the well and i'm sure it's like an instinct for a human it doesn't matter where you live on0.83
01:12:36.840the planet or what time period that you're in tall grass and something's coming at you like that
01:12:40.520the grass is split you're like oh you know because there's people where it's like lions or bears or
01:12:44.480whatever like there's something coming for me and it comes by does it make eye contact or is it just0.91
01:12:49.740like no i remember that it runs by like it didn't give a shit about us like it didn't even know you0.94
01:12:53.560were there uh you know knowing we were there i don't know didn't care yeah didn't care didn't0.66
01:12:58.420interact and it was just off in the tall grass on that side now so we run out now because where did
01:13:03.580to go like where did you see did you see the grant you're just like let's go in that direction what's
01:13:07.880your buddy's name is shane like shane let's go let's go no we didn't there's no conversation
01:13:12.340we just scream and run out of there so this whole interaction from inception from the moment we see
01:13:20.340it to the moment we react till it passes us by and we run this happened within a window of five
01:13:25.500probably less than five seconds and we run out of there we go out screaming we run past our friends
01:13:31.760we run through the trailer park we run all the way to the park that's nearby sort of and we
01:13:36.340collapse in the grass because we're exhausted by that time and the story for the longest time is
01:13:40.840just like yeah we saw a naked black baby it wasn't until I was like 16 years old wait and that's at0.99
01:13:45.86011 yeah so you're just hanging with the homies sometime like maybe you're playing baseball in0.59
01:13:50.200the street or whatever and Shane's like bro remember that black baby Shane never talked about
01:13:55.480it he would when I would ask but he never brought it up eventually he wouldn't when I would ask
01:14:01.560anymore and that wasn't like we were adults by that time i would check in with him periodically
01:14:05.900i send him a dm i say hey man yeah i want to talk about that thing he was like no i don't like i
01:14:10.820don't want to talk he ended up growing up and being normal yeah so he was like yeah dude i don't want
01:14:15.120to have any association with like when i was so what i do know about shane is like he didn't see
01:14:21.200what it was because when we grab each other he maybe closed his eyes and so i would ask him like
01:14:27.600what he saw and rather than say it was a dog it was a raccoon or whatever he would say i don't
01:14:32.960know i don't know i don't know what we saw i just know i was scared and then years later when i'd
01:14:39.020bring it up again because i just can't let these things go he would say i don't want to talk about
01:14:42.880it did he ever say i like the way you held me though no i don't think he ever said i like the
01:14:47.500way that i held him we held each other it was a mutual holding okay so i didn't do it wasn't like
01:14:53.140it was one side top is a tough crowd today dude i cannot even get him to smile i don't know what
01:14:57.680he's doing over there no i know but he's just like not even he's really upset he's not going
01:15:03.220on the next show that could be it i think he's just you know he's like i've heard okay so okay
01:15:07.000so we got the 11 year old black baby thing shane doesn't ever want to talk about it again
01:15:11.260doesn't want to talk about now we know we can kind of close out that whole thing yeah that's
01:15:15.920that's okay what was the abduction or potential abduction okay so that's actually um brings us
01:15:20.940right back to when i was researching and i had this notion because of course when you're looking
01:15:25.240up sleep paralysis in the hat man people will say it's purely a psychological phenomenon your body
01:15:29.440goes into a state of paralysis so that you don't act out your dreams which you know and everybody's
01:15:33.900having the same dream about happening no no no but they're just saying like first and foremost
01:15:38.080you're in a state of paralysis while you dream it's a biological function makes a lot of sense
01:15:42.220to me actually uh secondly some people suffer from a condition where they will wake up but their body
01:15:47.340will still be in that paralysis but since you're kind of in a pseudo sleep state you still have the
01:15:51.560ability to hallucinate visually and so the state of paralysis causes fear because you are unable
01:15:57.580to move and since you're still in this pseudo soups uh sleep state where you can see visual
01:16:02.880hallucinations the fear causes the hallucinations to be menacing so that actually really makes a lot
01:16:10.280of sense to me and i would i had some hang-ups because barbara told me a story one time about
01:16:15.540seeing the hat man where she saw it and she shared a room with her sister when she was little and the
01:16:21.260next morning she was talking to her sister and she goes I saw it last night and her sister goes I saw
01:16:25.040it too and now as if that's not strange enough they were speaking in hushed tones they didn't
01:16:29.320want their mom to hear and but she did end up overhearing at the breakfast table and she's like
01:16:33.480what are you girls talking about when they finally tell her that they've been seeing a man with a
01:16:37.480black hat she goes I saw him last night too she's in a different room of the house so two girls of
01:16:44.880the same age see it in the same night and then their mother who's in a different room of the
01:16:48.800house also sees them that night so when you tell me it's it's purely a visual hallucination that
01:16:54.140sounded okay initially but now you're like i don't know guys so i'm just in this mode where i'm like
01:16:59.500maybe some of it but not all of it yeah that's weird it reminds me of one time me and scotty boy
01:17:04.480and lebowski were eating mushrooms at delval and we were looking not a real story we were looking
01:17:08.740scotty boy lebowski yeah scotty boy and lebowski the three of us and my dog mickey when she was a
01:17:13.760puppy got sprayed by a skunk like we just took mushrooms and like right when they kicked in a
01:17:17.480skunk sprayed my dog we had to chase her all it was crazy but anyway we're at the top of this
01:17:21.960mountain looking down on the lake at delval anybody from livermore will know what i'm talking
01:17:25.520about to livermore we all three watched the same scene from baywatch like like it was like baywatch
01:17:32.520you guys don't remember baywatch okay yeah there was super uh it was like this whole yeah there's
01:17:37.120a lot of that we watched this whole chase scene down on the lake like it's it's probably midnight
01:17:42.480or one in the morning we're just tripping like on the top of this mountain looking down on the lake
01:17:45.760who's chasing who it was just this whole boat chase scene i don't know i call the bay watch
01:17:50.240scene well the three of us all saw it like because at some point we're all watching this chase scene
01:17:54.800of the boat and this whole thing going down on the beach and everything so do you think it actually
01:17:58.320happened i don't know it's just that's what i'm thinking of when you're telling the story i'm
01:18:01.120like what what exactly because i'm like because we're all watching it and at some point like all
01:18:06.240of all three of us like look at each other like yo are you are you are you watching this are you
01:18:11.680seeing this and you know i think i was like what watching what they're like this whole boat
01:18:16.400chasing down i'm like yeah you guys see it too like what like we're all seeing you guys could
01:18:21.520have bore witness to something at night that was actually much more when i was younger me and my
01:18:25.680wife my wife we were uh on adderall and unisoms so one is keeping you awake and one is forcing
01:18:33.600you to sleep yes used to get mad at me for doing them doing the highs and lows okay so so did you
01:18:38.160ever have those moments where i would be able to take my phone and streak it across the night sky
01:18:41.920and it would leave a visual tracers yeah i only had those from like acid or mushrooms or ecstasy
01:18:47.280so i would be able to after i did it the light would stay in the sky from adderall in another
01:18:53.120and unison so uh unisoms i think it was unisoms which one of those are both pharmaceuticals
01:18:57.520one is to put you to sleep the other one's keeping you up that's why so you're in this like
01:19:01.600REM state walking and and dreaming sort of and um but i was able to see it three-dimensionally i
01:19:08.180could put my head underneath the streak of light and also my wife could too what yeah i don't
01:19:13.300remember being like i mean i would get streakers like i was on acid and drank jägermeister the
01:19:16.940first time i drank jägermeister you know jägermeister is is actually supposed to like
01:19:20.400be super good for you i don't know it's not alcohol it was a medicine all i know is i thought
01:19:24.500yeah i thought it was cough syrup like i was on acid i drank it and i was like who's who are we
01:19:28.920drinking cough syrup like what's going on right now tastes like and then like when i gave it back
01:19:32.380to somebody and my hand came back i had tracers and they went like that and it was straight like
01:19:36.280i just remember that was the very first time i ever saw tracers but then it was a pretty common
01:19:40.300occurrence with hallucinogens but i've just never heard of it with like pharmaceuticals yeah adderall
01:19:44.380and unisoms don't do it so so um you know a lot of what i'm reading as far as like the biological
01:19:50.540function of sleep paralysis is making a lot of sense but there's still things that like it's this
01:19:54.800is data that i can't let go of you know in the sense that she saw it and her sister saw and her
01:20:00.480mom saw it i can't just chalk that up to visual hallucinations we're not all having the same
01:20:05.480hallucination at the same time but what i do think is reasonable is to say well if any aspect of this
01:20:12.140is a psychological slash biological phenomenon then by nature of looking into it as aggressively
01:20:19.940as i am which is to say like till five o'clock in the fucking morning by this point i'm pretty much0.89
01:20:26.080i'm kicked out of my house and i'm sneaking in the bedroom of my girlfriend through the window0.96
01:20:32.200you're kicked out of your house with the mom's boyfriend yeah i get kicked out shortly after0.99
01:20:36.540that so so they separate i don't see barbara fucking basically ever again no way then we0.89
01:20:43.380just move in with some new dude again and and then they kick me out like at what age uh i was0.92
01:20:49.220kicked out the tail end of 16 so we leave barbara whoa whoa whoa so you leave the you leave the
01:20:55.360mom's boyfriend that you were living with barbara about 15 go to this other house with mom and new
01:20:59.900boyfriend and get kicked out of that house yeah yeah so okay so we leave there about 15 uh-huh
01:21:04.720we live in the hood during that time i get ko'd with a baseball bat and i think it really changed
01:21:09.600a lot about me what do you mean um one-on-one fight or like no i got jumped by like i don't0.99
01:21:14.880know it was could have been like 10 dudes they cracked my head with a bat they beat the shit
01:21:19.000out of me you were just walking through the hood did you start like saying something no you don't0.99
01:21:23.240say shit you just walk through the hood i had to go through them because they were on the avenue0.95
01:21:26.800that led to where i lived in the hood because we moved from one area to the really bad area of town1.00
01:21:31.460because my mom couldn't afford you know to live in a house on our own so we had to get a shitty
01:21:36.360apartment in the hood and um and at that time 15 years old right like i remember that night i was
01:21:41.360hanging out with some girl and it was later than i usually would have gotten home because i was
01:21:46.180trying to put the moves on her and before you knew it it was like you know 10 10 30 at night
01:21:51.040and i'm like all right i gotta start getting my mom like the the leash was off you know when this
01:21:55.540happened when we moved my life no more rules there was no more rules that's it it was just
01:21:59.740like chaos and so so you start walking through the hood and basically there's like a bunch of
01:22:04.820dudes and they're all like slap boxing and and chopping it up on the corner and you know they
01:22:10.220see me as soon as i see them now i have a decision to make if i turn and they're like oh he's gonna
01:22:16.160give chase yeah i know it i just know enough about it i've lived there long enough i go okay they're0.50
01:22:20.860gonna chase me so the only shit that i could do is like i gotta move right through them so i moved0.57
01:22:24.840right through them i just kept walking and they were on the same sidewalk that i was so i walked0.99
01:22:28.080right through them and like i felt like i almost made it out they kind of like didn't give a shit0.72
01:22:31.660about me then all of a sudden i heard like uh yo um uh you don't say like hey what's up guys you0.96
01:22:38.340don't say anything you just walk 30 at night and it's 10 black dudes you don't say really anything0.99
01:22:42.020yeah you know so they go um what are you a bitch and they weren't talking to me they were talking0.99
01:22:47.480to the kid with the bat i think he's a kid because i think they were actually a little bit younger0.98
01:22:50.700than me you know i don't know how but either way uh he wasn't so he swung and i can almost like i
01:22:58.940remember the sound of the bat wait you didn't see the swing of the bat came to the back of my head0.66
01:23:03.640So they clapped me in the back of the head and I woke up, I was, I had a bunch of cuts and bruises and everything all over me and I was leaking from my arms and shit. I think it was mostly from just hitting the ground like a tree, like, and, um, and I couldn't see out of my left eye and I was in and out of consciousness and I, and I managed to somehow get my way home, which was like, it was a little twisty and turny. I wasn't fucking exactly close to home.
01:23:27.480it was still like a good 10 minute walk and i keep having these like these moments where every0.76
01:23:32.780time i come to consciousness i'm closer to home than i was before so somehow i'm on like autopilot
01:23:37.680it's just straight concussion stuff yeah yeah yeah and then of course i get home and i just0.51
01:23:41.560fucking throw up everywhere and and my mom puts me in a tub of cold water tells me not to go to sleep0.54
01:23:47.040um concussion protocol yeah yeah we don't go to the hospital because they're just gonna make you0.99
01:23:52.180pay a lot of money to tell you not to go to sleep right yeah we call the cops the cops can't do
01:23:56.680anything about it because it's like who am I even yeah I don't know but after that I become like a
01:24:01.880very wild person um and that is like wild how like reckless um yeah reckless and much louder than I
01:24:14.360ever was I used to be a pretty reserved kid so something happened you're like you know what I'm
01:24:18.580not gonna go through this silent man like the Cypress Hill song I ain't going out like that
01:24:22.000came on in your head and you were like you know what yeah I'm not sort of kind of I mean I just
01:24:26.040became this really loud person like i wasn't always like that i used to be like pretty reserved
01:24:31.260pretty in my friend group that was one thing but like you know what did you think guys like that
01:24:37.320are just gonna get beat up with bats in the hood like i'm gonna have a voice now you know
01:24:41.040so after that i move right and i move in with this new guy i do go to school for about a year
01:24:45.900and a half before i'm kicked out and uh i'm like standing on teachers desks i'm kicking their
01:24:51.800papers off their desks like all kinds of crazy you're just wiling out yeah yeah yeah i kind of0.53
01:24:57.380like lost my shit a little bit and um and it was it wasn't ever like mean it was like i just became0.68
01:25:05.200this character but whatever so um i move out after that and and you know after i get kicked out so i0.91
01:25:14.740get kicked out like the tail end of 16 something like that so i don't know you know the whole thing
01:25:19.760is a little bit blurry maybe i move into this place at like 15 15 and a half by the end of like
01:25:24.98016 i'm kicked out already um i obviously didn't keep going to school and i'm pretty much homeless
01:25:33.780and uh and i'm staying over my girlfriends a lot it's just like some i'm messing up the timeline
01:25:40.640a little bit like there's some molding or melding together of like a year of my life that i'm but
01:25:45.720the last couple years of high school well i mean i was kicked out you know so i never did that i
01:25:50.360got kicked out sophomore year so did you have a job when you were kicked out or did you just like
01:25:54.760you were just like roaming the streets no i mean i i ended up moving into some dude's house he let
01:25:59.640me stay there he was a heroin addict he ended up going to jail shortly after he let me stay there
01:26:04.200so i have like a whole house and um but then of course we don't pay the bills so all the lights
01:26:08.600go out and it's crazy and it becomes um abandoned and they get like these notices on the door
01:26:15.640of like evacuation or not uh eviction and yada yada but we don't evict um so that's when you
01:26:21.760move to florida no no no no okay so but during this time i'm electing to stay at my girlfriend's
01:26:27.640a lot and i am looking this shit up till like five o'clock in the morning every night for a long
01:26:35.120time like i i never had access to a computer like that so i'm just going nuts doing all the research0.64
01:26:41.340And I remember saying to myself, like, if this is a psychological phenomenon, all this stuff that I'm looking up, then it stands to reason that by by nature of looking at it, it might happen to you.
01:26:50.800Like like if you watch a movie and then you have a dream about a movie. Right.
01:26:54.440So I'm prepared for that. And I don't think that it's.
01:26:58.300Yeah, I could see what you're saying. It's like as you read the Bible and you see these supernatural stories, you're saying, yeah, one of these stories could happen to me now.
01:27:04.080Yeah, yeah. Well, this is, like, such obsession. And I think I'm also doing it because I'm outsourcing my own, like, pain and suffering of, like, my life being chaotic and fucking, you know, not having – I don't have anybody in my life anymore who was there since the beginning. Like, it's all gone.
01:27:22.340So rather than face that reality, I'm, like, I'm outsourcing everything. I'm looking into this. This is my great, you know, mountain to climb.
01:27:31.080Because one day you're going to have a podcast called Nephilim Death Squad, and you're going to be big doing this.
01:27:35.860Well, no, more so, I don't want to – how could I do the insurmountable task of fixing my life?
01:54:12.100Shortly after that, I started welding.
01:54:12.920You're like, yo, I need to switch from dumpster eating to full-on taking care of the family.
01:54:17.340Actually, big shout-out to Joe Rogan because he made me obsessed for a period of time with self-discipline, health and nutrition, martial arts.
01:54:28.060And those things really helped me to like learning martial arts helped me to learn to
01:57:09.860You kind of have to find your way and figure out what's going to stick.
01:57:12.720Well, I didn't – eventually what would happen at every job is I would say that it would kind of like kill my spirit and this idea of like life on repeat, the nine to five until I die and I feel desperately like I'm supposed to do something else.
01:57:26.960And what was odd was that something else felt like podcasting, which was fruitless.0.99
01:57:31.580And I had people in my life who were talking shit to me or behind my back saying like, why the fuck is he doing this?0.97
01:57:39.300podcasting yeah why is he trying to podcast like this is literally not going to do anything for0.99
01:57:43.080him and i'm like every time i put it down i got to pick it back up so i did this i did a couple
01:57:48.080shows um i'm not going to say the first one because i i think it was with my wife i think
01:57:53.180she'd be mortified if anybody ever went back and found those those episodes we don't want to know
01:57:57.420uh and then i did where i belong and then i did uh dick dudes and then what do you mean like in
01:58:02.260your in your house like yeah in my house wherever i was i would move to places i moved here and
01:58:07.020there and you just figured out how to set up a camera and just do a podcast keep doing it yeah
01:58:10.780and then i you know i did another show called was it always about alien stuff no it wasn't about
01:58:15.700that no it wasn't those stories always came up if you ever go back to those old what were you
01:58:19.800talking about um whatever whatever i thought was interesting no no whatever i thought was
01:58:24.860interesting so i talked to let's say my first thing with where i belong i talked to a guy who
01:58:29.220was doing psychedelics i talked to another dude that was a stand-up comedian who did a documentary
01:58:33.740on psychedelics. I talked to a bow hunter. I talked to a guy who did like the, what would
01:58:41.040you call those? The really big trails that go across America. There's three big ones. There's
01:58:44.420the Appalachian Trail. Not the chemtrails. You guys both say that the same time. He's awake,0.98
01:58:51.120though. That's good. That's good. The Appalachian Trail, the Pacific Crest or something, and then
01:58:56.320there's another one. So I talked to that guy. So he hiked those trails. Yeah, it took days and
01:59:00.200days or months whatever you want to talk about but i always kept going back to it and so this
01:59:06.120last job you know the the the one that i was welding at that i was really good at i started
01:59:11.880doing um david jay versus the world which was a comedy show and it was like well produced and we
01:59:16.480bought a studio and we bought all the equipment and we we did it wait what when when was that
01:59:21.120that was uh 2020 during covid yeah in new jersey in new jersey and i was doing it at the same time
01:59:28.340that i was working and i felt really good like i felt really good like i was doing a good groove
01:59:33.040i was doing a product that i was i was happy about oh there it is yeah dave and jay versus
01:59:36.640the world bro that's awesome yeah there's there's our set i was really proud of that and uh but we0.79
01:59:41.080got no views because we couldn't market worth a shit we couldn't promote worth a shit we didn't
01:59:45.160know how to use social media let's click one of those pictures bigger i want to see what he looked0.97
01:59:48.620like back we were doing a uh has he got your head in a noose he's got my head i bought him a knife
01:59:54.660i don't like one of his things i don't like it and uh i don't like that picture oh i remember0.95
01:59:59.140that episode we were talking about a guy from fucking like survivor who gores a pig uh on the0.88
02:00:04.980on the show i could get down with that but not with the doing it to a human okay so you're doing0.97
02:00:09.480that in 2020 we we don't have a ton of time i wish we had more time but top's got to go
02:00:13.940and he doesn't want to go on the next show too okay yeah we know but i gotta know anyway no no
02:00:18.800know how i gotta know how did you leave new jersey did you meet top while you were up north or did
02:00:24.720you meet him when you got here how did all this part of the story that everybody wants to know
02:00:28.960i'm in new jersey um the podcast ended because my homeboy had a baby and he was like i just want to
02:00:35.000do all hands on deck with the baby i said okay man that's cool so we we stopped doing the show
02:00:38.760i was still working at khc i still wanted to do a show and the other thing was like i'm making
02:00:45.500pretty decent money but like the housing market still looks like a nightmare i'm still going to
02:00:49.820be stretched thin like i want to go and have something more i don't want to just stay here
02:00:53.860and settle because there is still something in me this is what really showed me like there's
02:00:58.160something wrong there's something calling to me and it calls to me across all these jobs and even
02:01:02.480when i have one that's good and these people love me and i love them and they've become almost like0.99
02:01:07.500family which is the gayest cliche shit to ever say about a job still like something is fucking0.99
02:01:12.180wrong. Yeah. Something is wrong. So we decided like, Hey man, let's take a chance. Let's go to1.00
02:01:17.380Florida. And my wife's about it. I was also getting sick. So I had cancer. And then after I,1.00
02:01:23.740I got the cancer testicles. Yeah. The one, well, one of the testicles, just get them cut out.0.95
02:01:27.780You just cut, lose the nut. And, but after that, how did you know you had, I felt it in the shower0.99
02:01:32.900over and over again. What do you mean? You could feel the nub on it, especially when you got your
02:01:36.840balls all sudsy, you know, you get a real good feel for them. You know, your balls, right? You're1.00
02:01:40.640with them all the time. Every shower you take, you go, I know these balls. And then all of a sudden,0.99
02:01:45.000like one day I was like, I don't know these balls. And then like the next time I showered,0.98
02:01:50.060I was like, yeah, that's still there. So it took like a lot of confirmation. Showers was always the
02:01:55.340place where I'm like, no, I know this thing has not always been there. Like there's some sort of
02:01:59.980tough spot on my nut. And it ended up being cancer. We didn't get it biopsied because we
02:02:05.420didn't want it to spread. Doctor was like, look, you're still going to crush if I cut this thing
02:02:08.600off. Nothing's going to change. I said, all right, man, let's just cut it off. It turned
02:02:11.960out to be, yeah, it was cancer, but it was like real low grade shit. Like some Manoa1.00
02:02:15.600cancer. I don't know what the fuck it was. Um, it was such a blip on the radar of my1.00
02:02:19.200life. It moved really fast. Like I found it. I took care of it. I had no history of going
02:02:23.560to the doctor, but at this point, like something just moved me through the system. I took care
02:02:27.240of it, recovered from the surgery super fast. And, um, I was doing Dave and Jay versus the0.96
02:02:32.740world while I had that whole surgery done for content. It was fast, man. It was, and
02:02:36.920And I'm never, like, the type of person, like, you've never heard me say, have you ever heard me say I'm a cancer survivor?
02:02:59.680You know, I went through surgery, which was, like, the recovery time was really, really fast.
02:03:03.480But something did happen in my immune system after that, and every winter from that moment on ended up giving me pneumonia and a collapsed lung and all this other shit.
02:12:16.060So I guess what ends up happening is we get into a conversation and I tell Top I do a show about all this crazy shit.0.97
02:12:26.060And I already know that he's interested in it because we are on the members community of the confessionals.0.95
02:12:31.220So Top goes, I'm going to actually check it out.0.97
02:12:33.220And then he fucking does, which is insane because to tell anybody, hey, watch my two hour long fucking podcast, even though I have no followers or anything.0.99
02:15:41.720No, no, I'm very familiar with that feeling out process with Top.
02:15:44.600I know exactly what you're talking about.0.97
02:15:46.360Well, I think that's very much how Top felt about this place because he kept telling me, you know, you got to come to this coffee shop and meet this wanker.0.97