TIMECAPSULE: From Witchcraft to Christianity w⧸ Mama Sha
Episode Stats
Length
2 hours and 20 minutes
Words per Minute
165.89551
Summary
Shannon shares her story of growing up in the occult and Satanism, how she became a Christian, and how she found her way into the world of witchcraft and the dark side of the occult. She is a Christian now, but at the time of this interview, she was raised in a Christian home.
Transcript
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News readers, politicians, teachers, lecturers.
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We are in a country and in a world that is being run by unbelievably sick people.
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The chasm between what we're told is going on and what is really going on.
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We know I'm saying shit what happened to the home of the brave.
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These motherf***ers, they're controlling us now.
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We know we're talking about how they made us try to be slaves.
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Heading the clouds and want to wake up to a dead in the grave.
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Only some are aware that the government really...
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Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen, to another episode of Nephilim Death Squad.
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That is Top Lobster, the father of disinformation.
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And today we are joined by Shannon, a.k.a. Mama Shah.
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just introduce yourself and describe sort of the nature of what you're here to talk about today.
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I am a Christian, but I came out of the occult and Satanism.
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It's sort of like split into two sections where I became a Christian.
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And then within the last year or so, I realized that the spiritual forces of darkness are very real and attached to Christians, too.
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And I listened to your interview on there and I caught...
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I didn't want to like ruin the whole story myself,
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but I think it would be cool to start at the beginning of what was going on in your life.
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Like how does one get into witchcraft and the occult?
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So, I was raised Christian kind of like my parents took me to like a Presbyterian church a couple of times growing up.
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But then after they got divorced, I, you know, kids are dramatic and like chill, especially teenagers.
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So, as a young teenager, I, my parents were divorced.
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They didn't have very many friends and I was one of those, like a typical goth 90s, early 2000s teenager.
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And so, I found a book at Borders on witchcraft, sort of advertised to teenagers.
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And up to that point, I had had no idea that witchcraft was anybody actually believed in it.
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Like, I thought it was something on like Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Charmed.
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So, that's, that was sort of my perspective on it.
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And then once I realized it was real, I was like, hell yeah.
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I think, I think Brad set us up here because he suggested our previous guest, Nix,
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who basically covered, uh, all the sex of Satanism.
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And just yesterday, we talked about Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
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We talked about, uh, like, goth and the style of, like, you know,
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this kind of, like, this soft entry into the occult and Satanism.
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And here we are today talking to somebody who this, this stuff just seemed to work on.
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Brad seemingly, uh, pitching us an underhand throw here.
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When it comes to, it's really interesting that you're talking about,
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I was just in this bookstore the other day, Books a Million.
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And there is, like, an entire, uh, New Age witchcraft occult section.
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And a lot of that stuff is what they pitch at teenagers.
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And I don't want to be the type of person that's like, don't watch Harry Potter.
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But these things do effectively act as a gateway.
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And I don't, um, I'm not the type of person that tells people to stay away from it
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Who, you seemingly came to Christ through the back door of the church.
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That's kind of the expression that I use when it comes to people who first found their way
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through the occult and then end up Christianity.
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Uh, it's just interesting, though, that you're here telling us it was a, it was a book on witchcraft
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Well, I mean, teenagers are very impressionable and they care a lot more about social standing
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and like appearance and everything like poetry, like dark poetry, like all of that cheesy stuff.
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Um, it's cheesy to us, but they, obviously I got super into it.
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Because you said initially when you had gotten into it, you, you didn't really believe anybody
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And then there was something that was tangible enough that kept you there.
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Uh, there was some sexual appeal and the whole aesthetic to, you know, like the goth subculture,
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you know, and I was very overweight at that time.
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Like I, I was 230 pounds in middle school and it, I think that played into it also was,
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uh, like wanting some sort of release to like escape myself and escape my family, escape
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And also witchcraft offers a, you get you like control.
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So you can control a world that is spiraling out of control.
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And like, I felt out of control in my body and it's just, it's a multifaceted.
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Um, issue, but, um, yes, so I got into witchcraft and I was sort of like toyed around with it
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And I, uh, tried a few spells and I, um, ended up doing basically like a love spell on this
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Um, and I left a candle burning in my room and I left for school with the candle burning
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And my, when I got home from school, like the whole house was filled with smoke damage.
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And, um, um, but the spell worked, which if you know anything about magic or like the,
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So when you, you sacrifice things to, um, like a, an entity or like a spell or whatever,
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like it can sort of increase the power is like, right.
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So as far as your offerings go, you kind of offered our entire room, right.
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And it worked, which is filled with things that you're, you know, are beloved to you.
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If you're a, if you're a teenager in your room, that's filled with all of your memories.
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Um, uh, this might be, if you don't want to, uh, don't answer it, but is there a specific
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name entity that's involved with, cause I assume that there is going to be a different
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principality for this sort of magic, this sort of spell that you're doing.
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So I, at that time I didn't have any idea about like demons or I was into goddesses.
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So I was like sacrificing to like Diana or, um, Hecate or Hecate, however you pronounce
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And, uh, so my, like I, I had been after, after that spell, I started to be attacked by
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shadow people, but I didn't have any concept about demons.
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And so like that didn't come in until a lot later.
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Um, so he, within like a couple of months, uh, he asked me out and I quickly realized
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I did not like him and he's like, yeah, and so I broke up with him and he, all the way
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through high school into college, he had a thing for me and would sort of, I think to like
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an obsessive level because I went on, I like became, I became like a full-blown lesbian in
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college and I like bought the, the leftist liberal, the whole pie.
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Um, and I was like full-blown blue haired, um, but even through all of that, that whole
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time he had like, uh, like an, uh, an obsession kind of thing going.
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So I, I personally think like looking back, I don't think it was actually the spell that
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worked, but probably like demonic oppression involved there.
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Can I circle back before you, before you move on?
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So you just said, uh, shadow people attacking you.
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Um, were these, it, were you able to tell where those, uh, entities or where those people
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that are, uh, astral projecting, like, like you opened up a door and now they're, they
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I think, uh, cause it was like choking and like holding me down and, and everything.
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And it would happen on like a consistent basis.
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I do have something related to that, that, um, when I was a kid long before I ever tried
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witchcraft, um, uh, there was, uh, a Satanist that lived at house, a couple of houses down
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And I think that he had like a thing for kids and he would like, we'd have our pool out as
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like a little kid and be like swimming me and my brother.
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And he would just be standing there watching us.
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And, um, I, around that same time, I would wake up sometimes at night and there would
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be like a shadow figure, not as more like a static, like on the old TVs, there'd be like
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white noise or static on a TV when it wasn't connected to anything.
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Um, a figure that looked like that just static would be like standing in my doorway, looking
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And you ever heard Shannon, other people's descriptive of that static man.
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Cause I I've heard that descriptive several times.
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Have you, I've only heard, I've, I talked to Tony Merkel about it and he said that he had
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a dream once about like a static person, but that's the only person I've heard that, um,
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Um, it's very far and few in between that you find somebody with an experience that somebody
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And I think that just speaks to the categorization of entities that are in this realm that we
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Oftentimes people are visited by the same entities.
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You know, you said something before, um, that you fell into the whole gambit of, you know,
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uh, leftism or liberalism, uh, you know, becoming a lesbian at, at some point.
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And it's fascinating because these are political and cultural alignments that always seem to
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And I just think that that's fascinating because that's not the forward facing, you know, mask
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of the movement, but it's always an element to it.
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It's like something about these ideologies and these spiritual practice practices.
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They prey on people who are, uh, disenfranchised from the general population.
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So people that are outliers that have had a negative experience one way or the other
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It's, it's really like these things are parasitic or, or, um, prey driven and they're waiting
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Um, I, I think that, um, like wounds like that, like, I'm sorry if y'all can hear that,
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but, um, I think that on the spirit realm, we have, when we go through social traumas
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and, um, just whatever, like emotional trauma, it can leave windows open to our bodies.
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And I think that that window like leaves opportunity for parasites, like you said, to climb in through
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And it's sort of like leaves us vulnerable, especially if you don't have like the, the
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armor of God, for example, which I had no idea what that even was until like a couple of years
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And I think, um, yeah, I think that's exactly right.
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Um, and it's certainly a contentious topic because it's, it's a touchy one, but it does
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seem like, um, within these organizations, there is a uplifting of women to a higher
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And when I mean these organizations, I mean like, uh, covens and, and, and, you know, uh,
00:14:48.800
at the top of the show, Top Lops has said that yesterday we were discussing various
00:14:52.980
sects of Satanism and such within these organizations, they'll elevate women to a high spiritual
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And I find it interesting that the church doesn't do that.
00:15:01.380
And I just wonder if it's because women are particularly spiritually vulnerable.
00:15:06.340
Um, I think in some ways women are a bit more in tune with the spiritual realm.
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Uh, it can interact with them a little bit more than, than men.
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And I think when you take women and you strip them of their spiritual understanding, but you
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cannot remove that interaction that still happens to them.
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Um, that's where things go wrong because now they don't have a map and they seek to further
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their interactions with this thing that's communing with them.
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And then we end up with this situation where you have, uh, the mothers of darkness or what
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Um, yeah, I think, I think that there is some truth to that.
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Um, and I don't, I guess, I don't know if you think it's like church tradition or like,
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I think there's also some like misunderstanding, uh, or misinterpretation of like the writings
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of Paul, um, about like women shouldn't like speak in church and things like that.
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Um, yeah, I, I, it does seem like women are by and large more in tune spiritually.
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If you want to corrupt, uh, people, it seems that you can leverage women.
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And I think this is a mistake that happens over and over again, where we lose our spiritual
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understanding, but it never stops interacting with us in particular women.
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And so, um, okay, so let's, let's, I'm sorry to interrupt.
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Let's continue this, uh, this, so you, you are a, for a period, you're really immersed in
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Uh, like you said, you went through this socially, culturally, politically, um, and of course,
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spiritually, how do you end up getting to, did you end up like finding a group or something
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Uh, in high school, I, uh, found friends and we did form a coven of sorts and it wasn't,
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I mean, we did some rituals and things, but it wasn't anything super hardcore, but I mean,
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we did, we did do some magic together and we also, uh, we did like study groups, like
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And, you know, it's a cheesy goth click, you know?
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What did you try to do, if anything, about this shadow people?
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You said that you were having instances where you were being choked and such.
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Um, I, I was an idiot, of course, uh, but, uh, so I, I knew intuitively that the shadow
00:17:50.980
people were coming at me because of the witchcraft performing magic.
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I felt like I had opened a door and, um, I, so I stepped back from magic for a short period
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Um, but I mean, ultimately I just accepted that they were going to happen and they began
00:18:12.980
happening less frequently, but I did experience like sleep paralysis and, um, you know, like
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But, uh, yeah, I never, I never thought it never occurred to me to try and protect myself.
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Um, I mean, I would do like salt circles and things, but, um, yeah, I didn't like, we didn't
00:18:34.740
So it was, it wasn't as easy to identify things like that.
00:18:40.140
And I didn't really understand like the mechanics of magic until later in life.
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Um, so yeah, these books, um, what are they telling you to do?
00:18:54.340
You have a book on witchcraft in the teenage section in your local bookstore.
00:18:58.520
Um, what is, what are the, you know, what is it about?
00:19:06.700
So it re so the book that I had specifically, all right.
00:19:10.860
A few books, but it, they basically did like a retelling of how women used to be in power.
00:19:21.780
And then as like the pendulum swung towards masculinity, uh, Christianity came in and like
00:19:31.440
And, um, so masculinity took over and then now the pendulum is swinging back towards feminism.
00:19:37.820
So there's like a dualistic, uh, balance that happens.
00:19:43.080
And, uh, like every 2000 years, it'll, the pendulum will swing is what this book said.
00:19:48.140
And it like retold how Christianity, um, was just a construct from, uh, Constantine to rule
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Rome and to unite the pagan empire and, uh, or the, uh, Roman empire under one God.
00:20:05.320
And it was like a, it had some seeds of truth to it, but it was like a revisionist history.
00:20:13.040
And then it also taught you how to build altars.
00:20:16.680
It gave you information on different deities and it was like the basic instructions on like
00:20:23.720
how to do a spell and how to protect yourself during the spell with like the salt circle
00:20:29.460
and, you know, calling on the different powers from Northeast, Southwest, and all of that
00:20:37.300
So this, um, altar, you said at one point you had built an altar.
00:20:44.380
Did you make an effort to dedicate that altar to any particular deity?
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Sorry, my husband's work computer keeps going off.
00:22:30.380
I wasn't sure if that was a, you were tapped there.
00:22:34.040
Um, yeah, you can figure that out because we're, this is pre-taped so we could edit that.
00:22:41.120
We used to usually go live and it's like, all right, well, I guess we'll just struggle
00:22:47.540
Um, I'm going to take this opportunity for a quick pee break, then I'll be right back.
00:22:54.460
Uh, so it's a, it's a deity, a patron protector of young children, especially young girls.
00:23:02.400
This is like, oh, this is an ancient Greek, Greek God.
00:23:04.800
So on this, yeah, on our, on this show here, we, uh, we kind of tie the, the idea of these
00:23:12.840
ancient, ancient deities, especially from the Greek pantheon.
00:23:16.560
We tie them back to, uh, possibly the Nephilim, possibly the fallen angels.
00:23:21.860
Some of them like, uh, Baal and Zeus have a lot, a lot of overlap as far as I think it's
00:23:30.020
And I mean, even, even if you look at the, uh, Statue of Liberty, that kind of resembles
00:23:37.780
So we think that, uh, we think that some of these deities, most of these deities are just
00:23:52.500
And the pagans back in, back in biblical times knew this, like their gods had many names.
00:23:59.400
Uh, so it would, the same deity would shift names like, uh, Ishtar.
00:24:06.360
And then she has a lot of similarities, in my opinion, to like Kuan Yin, who is like an Indian
00:24:15.740
But they have like these similarities where it's like, as people moved throughout, you
00:24:22.500
know, the European continent and Africa and everything, like they brought their gods with
00:24:29.460
And so, yeah, I think, I think that's exactly right.
00:24:33.760
Yeah, David, we're just like recapping, uh, just the rebranding.
00:24:37.180
And it's kind of interesting as, as you popped in, uh, into the stream yard before we were
00:24:42.440
talking about aliens and what we think is going to happen there.
00:24:46.220
And we've, we've been saying for a long time as well, aliens just seem like a rebranding
00:24:49.760
of, of demonic entities or possibly Nephilim or something.
00:24:58.100
I mean, I think that, um, there's several elements to the alien thing, whether or not it's
00:25:04.920
reverse engineered craft, or even it doesn't have to be reverse engineered, it could just
00:25:08.400
be technology that's been suppressed by our own military industrial complex.
00:25:11.980
But then there is an element that seems to be very real.
00:25:16.060
Uh, I just don't think they're from outer space.
00:25:17.840
I think that more than likely they're these kind of ancient adversarial biblical entities
00:25:22.360
and they've figured out ways through technology and such to interact with this realm a little
00:25:27.420
Um, but it speaks to human beings, um, our thirst for knowledge also plays really well
00:25:38.200
with our ego in such a way that if you rebrand something and present it to someone, they will
00:25:47.580
And that understanding is it like bolsters their ego.
00:25:50.600
So in a way, like you're talking about revisionist history from this witchcraft book, um, you
00:25:56.140
read this book and there is an egocentric element to it where you go, ah, I now have
00:26:05.320
And then it just, it folds into your rhetoric and the conversations that you have.
00:26:10.560
What really happened is 2000 years ago, things use, you know what I mean?
00:26:13.340
And it's like somehow that information gets tied into your personality.
00:26:18.260
And I think that it's so clever, the rebranding aspect of things, because it plays off of,
00:26:23.840
you know, natural human proclivities to kind of just want to be the best.
00:26:29.540
And we have the coveted knowledge that nobody else has.
00:26:31.980
And so I think that it's not just unique to aliens.
00:26:35.920
Um, even, you know, you're talking about Hecate, right?
00:26:40.840
And I think there's real precedent for at least Hecate or Hecate, however you would pronounce
00:26:49.500
it, being Lilith, um, the, the night monster that's spoken about in the Bible.
00:26:56.060
This, this, uh, female negative spirit that typically, um, lures men.
00:27:04.960
And I think it's where we get the idea of like the siren as well, or the harpy.
00:27:08.520
They described Lilith as a harpy, which I find fascinating, but, uh, there is something
00:27:13.900
there where, you know, you've taken this character and it's the same character, but you've rebranded
00:27:20.180
her for Norse mythology for maybe a native American bent, but it's the same one.
00:27:29.880
And, um, but now I know her as Hecate or I know her as X, Y, and Z.
00:27:35.700
Therefore, I have Gnosis, a deeper understanding of this subject.
00:27:39.020
And you lean on that and mistake that for the ability to trust this topic.
00:27:45.880
But yeah, it's, it's over and over again, things get rebranded and it just hijacks our
00:27:49.960
psychology and, you know, we get wrapped up in it.
00:27:59.180
Um, my dad was obsessed with native American lore, native American history, native American
00:28:06.460
We have like a minuscule amount of like Choctaw and it, um, he had all of like these flutes
00:28:14.620
and dream catchers and all of this stuff inside of our house.
00:28:19.340
And I had, I would have like this reoccurring nightmare where there was a, um, like a bird
00:28:32.480
And this happened, it was the exact same dream several times.
00:28:36.220
And I would be, and this was in waking reality, like in real life, I would be sitting in my
00:28:44.420
And I would see like these feathers, like go like above my bed and, and then down.
00:28:50.320
And I would like go and look and there'd be nothing there.
00:28:52.480
And like, I, this happened before I started getting into, um, witchcraft.
00:29:01.280
And I feel like maybe like spiritually something was like already had, like had its grips in
00:29:11.180
me and was like, sort of like pushing me in like this direction.
00:29:14.800
And I don't, I just think it's interesting, like with the Lilith tie in and like, um,
00:29:25.380
You'll see, um, Isis depicted as having, uh, bird wings, you know, or, or, you know,
00:29:31.580
these, most of these are fallen angels or some offshoot of them.
00:29:40.900
So harpies are, they have the lower half of a bird more or less, um, with, yeah, talons
00:29:46.340
and, uh, and gigantic wings and, you know, the upper half of a, of a, of a woman.
00:29:52.640
Cause it's like, you hear this, you hear this kind of story a lot where if someone gets involved
00:29:57.360
in this stuff, they're precursors in their childhood or their past that.
00:30:00.820
But yeah, they're like, I remember this happening and then boom, all of a sudden I'm waist deep
00:30:07.180
It's like, I don't want to say, I mean, we have free will, but it's almost like, like
00:30:12.080
there's a mark on you or there's like a susceptibility to you that they're like, I
00:30:19.680
And it, is it a matter of, um, you doing something that, that triggers this attention
00:30:27.020
Or is it a matter of, um, maybe a generational thing, for example, and this is very effectively
00:30:33.500
brings us to the question that I want to ask you.
00:30:35.280
But when I was younger, my grandmother, who I love dearly was, uh, you know, she thought
00:30:48.780
Um, she was a victim of adept, uh, alien abduction phenomenon when she was a child.
00:30:56.160
She didn't know what it was until she got older.
00:30:58.260
And, you know, there was cultural, uh, context for what she had gone through when she realized,
00:31:03.740
oh, wow, other people are, uh, experiencing this as well.
00:31:06.560
But I have a series of strange things that has, you know, they've always happened throughout
00:31:11.700
And I think in great deal, it probably has to do with some sort of like what the Bible
00:31:16.460
Um, so I'm wondering for you, Shannon, is there anything that you could look to in your
00:31:21.700
past where maybe, uh, uh, a relative was involved heavily in something that could have been passed
00:31:27.560
down or, um, does any of that seem to resonate with you?
00:31:35.020
Um, my, like I said, my dad was very into, um, like Native American religion and Native American,
00:31:45.960
And, um, his mother was like a quarter Choctaw and she, she was Christian, but she would also,
00:32:03.080
And, um, I don't know, I don't know, but my, I know that my father was into all of that.
00:32:24.600
Like, for example, if you had stayed on the path that you were on, then do you believe maybe,
00:32:31.900
uh, generations after you could have been, cause that's what it seems like from where
00:32:38.620
And I had my first son, um, before I got out of all of that.
00:32:48.900
Um, he, yeah, he's, we've had some wild experiences with him and he can see, I, I, I think I call
00:32:58.220
it like discernment of spirits, but he can like see spirits.
00:33:02.060
And, uh, he has these crazy, there's some weird stuff with dreams with him.
00:33:14.000
So after I became a Christian, um, I, and my son was already born.
00:33:24.360
And I was having this dream where a demon, a female bird demon, Lilith, I assume, um,
00:33:38.440
And all of a sudden my son's head appears in the dream.
00:33:43.860
And he was just, he's like glowing just his head.
00:33:49.080
And I wake up and he is laying on top of me and like shielding me.
00:33:56.620
He does not, I've never woken up with him like that.
00:33:59.580
And he, um, yeah, dude, he totally saved me in that instance from a demonic attack.
00:34:09.220
You said when he, when he appeared, he was glowing.
00:34:12.040
His head, like he poked his head into the dream.
00:34:22.280
And when I, when I, so I don't normally have dreams.
00:34:26.100
Um, when I, before I found out I was pregnant with him, I started having dreams that I was
00:34:33.600
pregnant with a boy and I was giving birth to a son and like, I don't have dreams and I
00:34:38.620
don't know if that's because he was inside of me or what, but like, um, yeah.
00:34:44.120
So after all of that happened, he, uh, became very ill.
00:34:48.540
He, um, got like strep throat and a staph infection.
00:34:53.600
And he had to, he were, we were in the hospital for 30 days and he had all of these surgeries
00:34:59.420
and he has like all of these like scars on him.
00:35:03.260
And like, I personally think it's because he's marked and, um, the enemy, whatever it
00:35:11.200
was trying to like, take him out is my personal opinion.
00:35:15.500
And he now every once in a while, he'll have these, just these crazy dreams.
00:35:28.680
So he, so for example, just recently, he'll have like, we've started praying and praying,
00:35:35.780
um, like the armor of God and for like a shield around the house.
00:35:39.760
And he will have these dreams where like, um, hordes of bees are like trying to like break
00:35:50.540
And then he'll, so that, that was the most recent dream, but okay.
00:35:54.660
Um, so we, uh, my pastor knows my testimony, right?
00:36:01.140
So, um, my pastor knows my testimony and we go to like a Baptist ish church.
00:36:06.920
So whenever I'm his official, like demon person.
00:36:10.880
So whenever there's somebody who is afflicted, he'll send them my way.
00:36:15.640
So I have had demonic experiences, but I didn't know what I was doing really when this, when
00:36:26.480
So I went and prayed over this person's house without their permission and, um, something
00:36:37.980
So this girl reaches out to me again for help with, uh, getting rid of this demon.
00:36:44.580
And as I'm telling her what to do, um, a demon like comes and tries to attach to me, but it
00:36:54.500
So it attaches to my son, the one who has all of these dreams.
00:36:57.520
And my, that night, um, he started, he dreamt that there was, he was being tortured and,
00:37:08.940
um, like all of like this weird stuff that he's like never been exposed to.
00:37:14.080
And I was able to cast it out of him and he, um, came to know the Lord, but he, man,
00:37:25.500
you just will have the, I don't know if they're like prophetic dreams or, um, y'all, I'm sorry.
00:37:42.360
No, I know it's a difficult thing to try to explain as well.
00:37:54.300
If we have questions, we're going to stop you and be like, what did you just say?
00:37:57.760
Well, here, while you, well, the reason that I asked what sort of dreams is because my son,
00:38:03.240
um, has had his fair share of strange experiences.
00:38:11.380
Although in the past he has told me a story about this when he was really little, he was
00:38:15.640
probably like three years old that he was, uh, in bed and it felt as though his body was
00:38:22.220
tied down to the bed with belts and, uh, and he saw a man pacing back and forth in the
00:38:31.000
Um, so at three years old, you know, he's explaining the hat man to me.
00:38:36.820
And it's weird because you don't, you try not to as a parent feed into it because, you
00:38:43.900
And I was just saying this on another show for a good night's sleep.
00:38:48.460
Like, obviously there's other very important reasons, but, uh, if you like to be able to
00:38:53.360
sleep at night as a parent, you don't feed into these things.
00:38:56.320
And I remember one day he came to me and he starts telling me about a dream that he had.
00:39:01.700
And whenever my son talks about dreams, I don't like feed in actively, but I do try, like
00:39:08.880
I'll, I'll tune in and I'll listen and I won't make it a big deal, but I'm listening.
00:39:12.480
Um, and, um, and he starts telling me about a dog, a black dog, uh, with red eyes that
00:39:19.840
And, um, and I said, huh, that's, I don't like that, but all right.
00:39:25.400
You know, and he's, he's saying that the dog is like his friend.
00:39:30.640
And, uh, then he comes to me only about a week later and he's describing his dreams and
00:39:38.100
And at that, I said, well, next time you see that dog, tell it in the name of Jesus
00:39:50.480
And, um, I think he's described that dog to me, maybe a total of three times.
00:39:57.780
And I don't even want to necessarily tell my son that, by the way, I don't want to say,
00:40:01.920
Well, he was like maybe eight at the time, seven engage in spiritual warfare.
00:40:07.740
If you feed into that, it becomes, well, I mean, it's a double-edged sword, right?
00:40:11.080
Because I do believe something is definitively happening, but also the imagination of a child
00:40:15.980
can take it to a point where who knows, then it's, then it's this recurring thing.
00:40:20.840
And he's in this realm where he's constantly coming back to me, telling me about, you know,
00:40:25.940
And, okay, so my son is five and he, we've had, because of where I came from, my family
00:40:38.300
has opened doors to spiritual, to spiritual attack, spiritual warfare, more so than the
00:40:45.000
And we will all experience paranormal activity occasionally.
00:40:49.380
And my son after, so I described about how, um, this demon came and attached to us and
00:40:59.620
it attached to my son and it was torturing him and his dreams.
00:41:04.060
And I started seeing, this was, this happened over a course of three days.
00:41:08.280
I started seeing this shadow person walking around and I didn't say anything to my son about,
00:41:15.140
about what had happened and he started seeing it too.
00:41:19.480
And he was like, mom, there was a man walking through our bedroom.
00:41:24.080
And he, so the first night he had the dream where a girl was like electrocuting him and
00:41:29.880
And then the second night it was this crazy sexual stuff that he had no words for.
00:41:43.780
And he's normally, he's the sweetest, kindest little boy.
00:41:49.740
Uh, whenever we would try and pray or talk about Jesus, he would get upset and he was
00:41:57.360
Like something had very clearly attached to him.
00:42:00.020
And, um, finally, after the second night where he had those, the sexual dreams, I sat him
00:42:08.460
down and I was like, okay, listen, um, my best friend, uh, is also very, she came out of,
00:42:25.180
I'm, I'm reading that unforgiveness is a, is a big window, like an open window in the
00:42:31.500
So I was like, okay, listen, buddy, you got to forgive your little brother.
00:42:35.740
Uh, my younger son is two and he is a terrorist.
00:42:48.520
And so I was like, do you forgive your little brother?
00:42:51.680
Like, do you, you have like, um, do you love him?
00:42:56.280
And I explained to him that like unforgiveness and sin leaves us vulnerable to spirits.
00:43:03.400
And I was straight up, like, I think a spirit has attached to you.
00:43:08.040
And he was like, I forgive, I forgive my little brother.
00:43:13.020
And I was able to cast it out of him after that.
00:43:15.540
And he said that he felt the bad kingdom leave him.
00:43:23.400
And we together, we walked through the whole house and cleared it out, uh, by, you know,
00:43:29.340
you, you take authority over your home and you cast demons out, uh, cause we have authority
00:43:40.520
Now, what did you, the chat is going crazy with what you just went, you went to somebody's
00:43:45.520
house and you started casting a demon out of someone else's house without their consent.
00:43:57.740
I would never, ever do that again, but I did do that.
00:44:01.900
I could see how you would think that's a good idea.
00:44:05.960
If you don't know, otherwise it's until you start to realize that the spiritual realm
00:44:12.740
Technically it hinges on a thought, like, uh, um, ownership.
00:44:16.060
So you have no ownership there, even though they have no right to be there.
00:44:23.860
Um, I'm not going to hash out the whole story, but when I moved into a new house, I
00:44:27.080
went through some strange stuff for a while until I realized like, I am the new owner of
00:44:32.900
this home and I have to take authority over it and tell these things to leave in the name
00:44:43.540
And I think, you know, it's all, it's all legalese.
00:44:47.440
You said something that, that prompted a question in my mind here.
00:44:50.680
You're talking about how somebody from your coven is now a Christian.
00:44:57.040
And I wonder, um, if we could talk a little bit about that, your, your coven, you know,
00:45:04.860
the people that you met actually met up with in real life.
00:45:10.800
And also what, where I imagine these people become fast friends.
00:45:15.880
So then what are their opinions when you stop showing up for your weekly, uh, witch meeting?
00:45:22.300
Um, I mean, it was, so the coven was in high school and we remained friends like through
00:45:29.080
our twenties and obviously I'm still good friends.
00:45:32.160
I'm in my thirties now and I'm still, she's my best friend.
00:45:35.680
Um, but we, so we would do some minor spells and like promise each other to each other.
00:45:47.640
And we felt like the universe was like butterflies would like buy in and like land on us and stuff.
00:45:58.460
So we took that to mean we're in the right track.
00:46:02.080
We're in one, we're one with mother nature and all of that stuff.
00:46:06.700
And, um, so, and we did a lot of, it was mostly like studying and like palm reading and, you
00:46:14.600
know, all the cheesy, typical, like new age, occult.
00:46:20.180
No, we never did a Ouija board, but we did do tarot cards.
00:46:23.260
We did do the tarot cards and we all, we believed in reincarnation.
00:46:28.300
And like, I believed I had committed suicide in a previous life and I had a lot of suicidal, uh,
00:46:35.580
predications and I, um, yeah, I struggled with self-harm and, um, so did, so did my friends in the
00:46:45.360
coven, which we didn't know that until later on in life when we like talked about it with one
00:46:51.040
another, like we all were experiencing self-harm.
00:46:53.960
Um, and yeah, so, I mean, so she became a Christian first and she admitted to me that
00:47:04.420
she was a conservative and I was still, you know, up to my eyeballs and the occult and was
00:47:13.260
like shocked because I had blue hair and facial piercings and I could not believe that my best
00:47:20.720
friend was a conservative and then when she became a Christian, I was like, what, who are
00:47:30.320
Uh, but because of our history, I did not like flip out at her, but I, I think that that
00:47:36.980
is like, was a seed that helped to lead me out of, um, that path too.
00:47:43.040
So, so what was her experience that drove her, cause I imagine she had to explain this
00:47:49.040
to you, um, what, what had her back away and become, you know, a conservative and a Christian?
00:47:55.120
I'm not sure about the conservative part, but, uh, her mother was diagnosed with cancer and,
00:48:06.200
The mother began going to church and, um, she survived the cancer and, um, my friend had
00:48:16.720
done all of this praying and, um, I think she saw, uh, I forget the specifics, but she saw
00:48:25.900
some sort of like confirmation from God that he was real and present and that her mother
00:48:34.800
So I'm not, I, she needs to get up on the internet and share her testimony.
00:48:39.960
So when she watches this, like you need to get on and share your testimony.
00:48:44.100
So, yeah, we'd be very interested in, in talking to her.
00:48:46.960
Um, oftentimes it's a personal experience that causes somebody to, to pivot in that way.
00:48:52.580
And, you know, based off of what you're describing here, that fits that bill.
00:48:55.900
When you were immersed in this and you were convinced that there were spiritual entities
00:49:02.240
and various ways that you could affect things on the spiritual realm, did you have an outlook
00:49:09.580
of good and evil or were these things not so cut and dry in your mind?
00:49:15.040
And there was no greater good and greater evil.
00:49:21.380
I didn't believe in, um, like I felt every, there was no true evil.
00:49:29.160
So like, even, uh, in terms of like the Holocaust, like I felt like, well, these people, we don't
00:49:35.820
know, like these people's like lived experience and how, um, we don't know what like drove them.
00:49:41.760
Anyway, it was not real, but I thought everything was gray.
00:49:47.100
So I didn't, because I feel like I turned this corner one day in my perception of the world
00:49:57.100
where I very much thought that there was a much greater gray area, um, in all matters.
00:50:05.600
And as I got older, I realized that that gray area is a place that you can get stuck in
00:50:13.580
and become indecisive and a bit of a fence sitter.
00:50:17.700
And in all matters, cultural, political, and, uh, spiritual, I think the middle is almost
00:50:30.460
So we're, we're, we're perceiving everything as mostly gray and there is no greater good or
00:50:35.000
Um, there is in fact a greater good and evil and you're either on the side of good or
00:50:41.400
really it's just all the bad side because these entities, if they can't get you to adhere to
00:50:49.000
them, they just certainly don't want you to adhere to God.
00:51:00.980
And now, like you said, the older that I get and the more experience I have, it's, so there's
00:51:12.260
Like, so when you're sitting in the middle, it's like, there's a, um, you're still in the
00:51:18.800
I think like there's the shadow still has like its control on you.
00:51:22.540
And like, I think you can get closer and closer to the good, but, um, yeah, like if you're
00:51:28.820
in a gray area, this shadow just has its claws in you and you just don't realize it.
00:51:35.220
Like in the Bible, it says that he, if you're not hot or cold, like if you're lukewarm, he's
00:51:42.980
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00:53:07.040
And what's interesting is there's almost a feeling of altruism where, or at least like
00:53:13.420
somehow immersing yourself in the nuance is somehow seen as a good thing.
00:53:22.360
And, and I, I, I do think there is something to be said about somebody who can see that
00:53:28.940
there are finer details to a topic, but I think what is significantly greater is someone who
00:53:41.500
I mean, shit, almost even to one side or the other.
00:53:44.560
I said it yesterday when it was like, we were talking about softer versions of, of
00:53:50.220
And there are those who are doing it as a LARP and an affront to Christianity and a
00:53:56.940
And they don't really believe in this on a spiritual level.
00:53:59.100
And I do think that that is almost worse than somebody who was convicted and says, these
00:54:06.600
Obviously that's terrible, but there is something bad about a lack of conviction.
00:54:15.760
And then also to dedicate yourself to something that you don't even believe is real.
00:54:19.760
Dedicating, you know, a disproportionate amount of time to, to an act or a joke or, you know,
00:54:25.780
sticking your nose up at another organization instead of pursuing something that you're passionate
00:54:36.980
Um, and we've kind of danced around this idea that this is likely Lilith because Lilith is
00:54:46.860
Um, it kind of sounds like you saw this more than twice.
00:54:54.240
Um, so I, like I said, I had those reoccurring dreams and then I didn't see, I had a fear of
00:55:01.420
birds for like this, this random fear of birds for years.
00:55:08.440
And, um, I don't know, I guess when I became a Christian, like that went away, but I didn't
00:55:15.480
And I, the, yeah, I've only seen it a few times.
00:55:19.980
And then, like I said, the dream that was a bird woman.
00:55:23.520
Like she had a female face and then there were like these feathers and like, like bird
00:55:32.920
So, I mean, I didn't see, there were like owls and things that would like, like hang around
00:55:39.320
my house and like scream, like scream, like screech owls.
00:55:43.340
And, um, I'm sure you've come across it in your research that these things are correlated.
00:55:50.460
And, uh, yeah, so I haven't, but ever since like that dream where like my son like stuck
00:55:57.800
his head in, I have not had any more, um, like encounters with, with her or it or whatever.
00:56:08.260
So I don't know if like God delivered me at that point.
00:56:10.820
I was an early Christian when I first became a Christian, I still had a ton of new age
00:56:16.160
beliefs and like, you know, I believed in like Christ consciousness and all of that stuff.
00:56:26.340
My, my wife, the same way your son poked his head into a dream.
00:56:30.400
Uh, my wife had the uncanny ability to wake me up from sleep paralysis when I used to be
00:56:36.320
And I, I mean, that was like, I was, I already really liked her.
00:56:43.900
Because, uh, you know what it's like, it's like, if you're in sleep paralysis, the, the
00:56:47.220
feeling of dread and, and, uh, despair is so intense and to be, uh, it very much feels
00:56:55.080
like you're rescued from that when somebody wakes you up from it.
00:56:57.320
So you're like screaming for somebody to come and wake you up.
00:57:03.340
And so I, I, I always got the feeling that, um, you know, there's, there's more than one
00:57:11.540
But when, when people that are so close to you also have that sort of a function, you know,
00:57:20.420
He has the ability to pop his glowing head into your dream realm and cast out Lilith or
00:57:24.520
whatever, you know, that's pretty, that's pretty handy.
00:57:28.840
Um, my, so just thinking about that, um, when, whenever there's like a spirit that is trying
00:57:37.440
to attach to me, I'll get, I'll hear a ringing, like a super loud, like a ring, like sort of
00:57:44.740
like tinnitus, but it's like, it's a short time, you know?
00:57:49.640
So the first time it happened to me was when I prayed over that girl's house without her
00:57:57.240
And then later on that night, I, I thought that something was going to happen.
00:58:02.280
Um, the first time that happened, like when I prayed and later on that night, my son,
00:58:07.080
the one with the dreams, um, I have three children.
00:58:10.020
So the one with the dreams had, um, some, he was, I was standing in my bedroom and he
00:58:15.580
was in the living room and he started yelling like, who's there, who's there.
00:58:20.600
So I, I came running in and he said that somebody had clapped right in front of his face.
00:58:26.500
And then he was like, is it possible for angels to be evil?
00:58:34.400
Um, actually, actually, yeah, that's how Genesis six, that's a very unsettling question though.
00:58:41.320
I had never brought that up to him before he came to that conclusion on his own.
00:58:44.960
Um, but I, I say that the ringing, uh, for me was like, oh, maybe that means that there's
00:58:55.680
Um, so I've had it happen numerous times since then.
00:58:59.200
And the night when the spirit attached to my son and was like in him and like torturing
00:59:07.200
Well, my husband, uh, is a Freemason and I have been praying for discernment, like for
00:59:14.340
God to give my husband discernment, help him to, if the root of Freemasonry is evil, help
00:59:21.040
him to see it because as his wife, it's, I can't say like, you're not allowed to do this.
00:59:30.700
He is, I don't, I don't want him to like resent me or feel controlled or whatever.
00:59:37.840
So we had, he had put up this big Freemason poster with like all of these symbols all over
00:59:43.800
Um, and our closet, which we have a large closet with like a chair and stuff.
00:59:49.260
So that's where he would sit and do his thinking or scrolling or whatever.
00:59:57.180
And one morning recently, all of a sudden he starts hearing this ringing and he's like,
01:00:05.080
And I had run up to him and I'm like, I bind you spirit in the name of Jesus.
01:00:12.820
He was like, and he used to have seizures as a kid.
01:00:16.760
And he said he would hear the ringing before he would have seizures.
01:00:20.740
And, uh, they couldn't, he had like scans done and they couldn't identify a cause for
01:00:27.140
So he heard the ringing and I ran up and I bound it.
01:00:31.500
And I was like, I, I cast you out devil, like, come out, like that kind of stuff.
01:00:36.380
And he was like, what is, what is happening right now?
01:00:43.380
And this happened right in front of the poster.
01:00:45.720
And, um, I was like, can we get rid of the poster?
01:00:53.600
So it was like the history of Freemasons and like a line.
01:00:57.520
And it had like all the different branches of Freemasonry.
01:01:01.240
There's tons of them and like history and symbols and yeah.
01:01:08.660
And he hasn't, he, I don't, I don't know if he's been to a session since that happened.
01:01:17.740
I wonder when it comes to the ringing, that's actually very fascinating to me.
01:01:26.640
I was just going to say it's something that happens to, I would imagine everybody.
01:01:33.300
And when it does happen to me, I feel the overwhelming urge that I should be paying attention
01:01:44.680
Um, and I just wonder if there's a, there's a significance to that because there are certain
01:01:49.500
things that happen in the human experience that everybody experiences, but we give very
01:01:55.340
For example, um, deja vu is a, is a fascinating one in the sense that everybody experiences
01:02:00.940
it, but there's simply nothing to be said about it.
01:02:03.480
And what's even more wild is you can kind of call it like a feeling or a sensation.
01:02:09.140
People have sensations that everybody understands.
01:02:13.400
That means you got to eat something or I'm sad.
01:02:16.520
And it's weird that we all have this conjoined sensation of, well, it feels like time itself
01:02:23.180
Uh, I've lived this moment before to some extent and Oh, it's still going.
01:02:28.580
And then all of a sudden it ends and you're like, yeah, it's done now, but it was going
01:02:32.920
And it's just strange because everybody has that feeling, but there's no information to
01:02:43.000
So even though we all know what it feels like to have time repeating on some sort of strange
01:02:48.920
And so I just find that insane that, you know, what that feeling is.
01:02:53.120
And it's the same way with the ringing in the ears.
01:02:57.540
It's like, well, when your ears are ringing, someone's talking about you.
01:03:01.160
And even that is like, oh, so you think this is significant too, right?
01:03:08.900
In my opinion is like, oh, people have always thought that this is significant, but you know,
01:03:15.640
And so when you say, um, that it, I mean, how would you describe it?
01:03:21.940
When your ears start ringing, that is your cue to look for what?
01:03:26.380
Um, I think it's like a spiritual alarm, essentially.
01:03:31.160
Um, like the, I don't know if it's the spirit or your body is like feeling something happening
01:03:37.940
Um, and my opinion is like, our consciousness is like out here and our brains are like a
01:03:47.720
And I think that entities are able to come into us through whatever is happening out here
01:03:56.420
Um, so I think we're spiritual beings and a material body, right?
01:04:00.720
So I think that when the ringing is happening, there is a demon attempting to infiltrate you.
01:04:09.880
Well, that's, I mean, it makes a lot of sense with the COVID stuff, right?
01:04:14.840
There's something about that, like toroidal field.
01:04:17.240
You ever, have you ever seen that donut around you?
01:04:20.480
You can tell when someone just another physical being is close to you.
01:04:24.400
Uh, you don't even, you don't have to see them.
01:04:29.940
So I don't doubt that that happens with the spiritual realm, but I was, I was getting
01:04:33.940
at the, we should all drink because I thought you were going to Jerry Marzinski with, with
01:04:38.200
the noise, um, licensed psychotherapist in the field for 35 years, yada, yada, yada.
01:04:42.320
We tell this story a thousand times, but, uh, one of his stories where he's sitting at his
01:04:46.520
desk and he's talking to a patient and, uh, he hears a crackling noise that travels across
01:04:51.240
his, his wall behind his head and into a garbage can.
01:04:55.660
And, uh, it turns out that that crackling noise wasn't some kind of entity that was
01:04:59.920
talking to his patient, telling him to kill him right then and there.
01:05:06.060
He perceived it as like a free, as like a TV static, which actually goes back to your TV
01:05:12.200
It's like a, like this crackling TV static noise that's traveling across, across the wall.
01:05:16.740
So these things are here, but we're perceiving them, uh, as frequency or vibration, which is
01:05:25.480
And the same thing will happen in sleep paralysis associated with the phenomenon.
01:05:30.760
There is this, everybody drink, um, associated with this phenomenon of sleep paralysis is
01:05:36.820
this intense, um, some people will describe it as a, a vibration.
01:05:42.980
I mean, I've, I've felt it as, um, what felt like I've never been tasered, but it seemed
01:05:50.180
like a taser almost like I had been electrocuted.
01:05:57.020
It was so powerful that it was audible, but also, um, I could feel it in my bones.
01:06:02.560
So I didn't even have to hear it because I think if something, you know, they have those
01:06:08.800
They rest on your skull and you could still hear clear as day, even though this is resonating
01:06:13.840
through your skull instead of through your eardrums.
01:06:15.500
Um, yeah, I think that I wouldn't even, if I had to audibly heard it, I still would have
01:06:21.460
gotten that sensation either way, because it just felt like I was being electrocuted.
01:06:25.420
So my body stiffens up and the emotion, by the way, that's associated with this type
01:06:36.160
And when I say that, I mean, I know this is old hat sleep paralysis, which is almost, I
01:06:42.420
feel bad in this realm that we're in where we're discussing conspiracy and spirituality.
01:06:46.760
We just, nobody wants to hear about sleep paralysis anymore.
01:06:52.560
I mean, I, I, I think it's fascinating, but, um, it, it evokes this feeling of dread
01:07:05.180
Like you're the recipient of this feeling instead of it being, um, generated from within
01:07:14.720
So it's like, whatever's going on, there's the minor version.
01:07:18.780
It seems like where you can get that frequency, but it's an audible one.
01:07:24.420
And then if you dial that all the way up, it's like somehow your spirit is in danger
01:07:29.160
and that's accompanied with a physical sensation, an audible sensation, you know, this intense
01:07:37.040
And, you know, it's, but it's, it all seems to be the same thing.
01:07:41.620
I didn't even make that connection, but I think that's, I mean, that's exactly, I think that's
01:07:47.000
Um, I have not even, I have not made that connection.
01:07:50.620
And like, I used to astral project and, um, you sort of use sleep paralysis and like that
01:07:57.780
state to, uh, it's like you're, you're switching channels.
01:08:01.960
So you have to like, um, sort of ride the wave, like, uh, as like your frequencies change,
01:08:09.080
uh, with like the buzzing, you can like send yourself out of your body.
01:08:13.460
Um, so it is, it's literally like that on a smaller scale.
01:08:22.740
Cause we're going into something that is endlessly fascinating to both top.
01:08:26.220
And I, I think we don't talk about it, but I do believe every time somebody mentions astral
01:08:31.900
projection, me and top, we both kind of like go on.
01:08:37.200
Um, um, this experience, how does it get on your radar?
01:08:45.020
What are some of the results that it's yielded?
01:08:47.860
So as a kid, I, when a trick that I would have when I was falling asleep, I would know that
01:08:55.460
I was almost asleep because I could see through my eyelids and I was like, okay, I'm almost
01:09:02.220
And then as an adult, I, um, heard about astral projection and I was like, that's stupid.
01:09:10.200
And then I heard, I read on the CIA website project, project Stargate and how the CIA has
01:09:19.080
confirmed that essentially astral projection is a real phenomenon.
01:09:24.460
And so I was like, okay, I'm going to try this.
01:09:26.960
So I started reading about people's experiences and how seeing through your eyelids is one
01:09:35.360
of the ways, you know, like you've done it or one of the ways, you know, like, um, it
01:09:41.580
can seem like you're, cause you are awake, but it's also not reality.
01:09:53.440
Like, especially if you don't know about astral projection, um, like, have you ever, uh, had
01:10:00.600
Like when, like when you were a kid and you would get up and get ready and then you would
01:10:06.160
wake up again and you would realize you'd never know anything.
01:10:10.000
That's essentially, uh, some people say that like, that's astral projecting is like you
01:10:15.660
were astral projecting, but you didn't realize it, um, and you would just like go about your
01:10:21.480
Or, um, so that, so I had that happen all the time.
01:10:27.160
Um, so I, so I, I forget exactly how I discovered about it, but I learned how to do it.
01:10:34.800
Uh, there's many different methods you can use, but the one I would use was, um, intentionally
01:10:41.080
triggering sleep paralysis and then, um, using the vibrations to, uh, essentially like eject
01:10:51.380
yourself, like into the spirit realm or the astral realm.
01:10:55.680
Um, when you say that you can see through your eyelids, you're seeing your room still,
01:11:00.300
Like, in other words, you're drifting off to sleep, but suddenly you're able to see your
01:11:04.920
But then the vibrations are, the vibrations you're describing are like when you're, cause
01:11:09.860
when I have sleep paralysis, it feels like, uh, like I am being like, just like violent.
01:11:21.360
So that's interesting because I hate that state of being like, yeah, I don't want to hang
01:11:31.200
Um, so your brain, your brain waves shift when you, uh, enter into sleep mode, when your
01:11:38.900
body goes into sleep, your brain waves become larger and deeper and you are, your brain is
01:11:45.520
always sending out waves, but we can't feel them because they're so, uh, like high pitched
01:11:52.240
Like it's just, we don't, we don't perceive it, but in sleep paralysis, you're feeling
01:11:56.440
your brain waves and they're, uh, they go throughout, like you said, there's a whole, uh, field
01:12:03.620
around you full of waves that you are emitting.
01:12:07.460
And, um, so with sleep paralysis, you're feeling your sleep cycle brain waves.
01:12:17.940
Um, so when you went to astral project, you, instead of fighting those waves, you lean into
01:12:33.340
Um, but when you're, when you're in sleep paralysis, instead of like screaming and like
01:12:40.020
trying so hard, like just lean into it and then you can like eventually roll out.
01:12:45.320
Um, I, I would do the rollout method, but there's different ways.
01:12:50.540
I tell you guys all the time when, uh, like I'll, I'll watch the Yankee game, watching
01:12:55.080
Michael K sitting in my uncle's living room, same sort of thing.
01:12:58.600
I suppose it's like a paralysis, like a, because it's like, it's an uncomfortable, there's an
01:13:06.360
Um, my, my hearing is zoomed in on Michael K talking, but there's like a weird vibration
01:13:11.740
around me and then I'll just be out of my body.
01:13:15.940
I'm like in the corner of the room watching myself and my uncle and my dad watch TV.
01:13:26.880
Like I said, it always happened watching the Yankees in this one place.
01:13:31.620
Like the conditions in this place were correct for that to happen.
01:13:36.080
Maybe the type of TV that it was coming through.
01:13:38.280
I don't, I don't know, but it's not something that I like to do.
01:13:41.180
And sometimes I think as a child, um, you kind of create the conditions too.
01:13:46.600
So if there's a familiar aspect to this, it almost falls into the realm of like ritual.
01:13:52.980
So here I am again in the same environment with the same people watching the same thing
01:13:58.580
Um, and I think that sometimes that's enough to put us in a form of autopilot and it allows
01:14:07.320
our consciousness to do something else because we've been here so many times.
01:14:12.160
So I used to have a similar thing where I'd be watching the TV at night, you know, same
01:14:16.460
thing sitting on my, well, I slept on like a futon as a kid and, um, I'd be on the futon.
01:14:24.080
It's, you know, the same time at night and I would always go through the same sensation
01:14:27.540
where I would get like tunnel vision and the room would seem incredibly stretched out
01:14:31.140
and the TV would get really small and far away feeling.
01:14:34.960
And then all that kind of weird stuff would start happening.
01:14:37.780
So sometimes I think, you know, just because you mentioned, is it the type of TV or something?
01:14:43.480
Like those old tube TVs in particular, I think they probably have a certain way because they
01:14:49.080
are often tied into this experience, you know, going back to that description of static, like
01:14:56.600
When you first turn a tube TV on and it changes the vibe of the room, you can tell when it gets
01:15:01.200
turned off and electrical buzzing stops and the atmosphere changes.
01:15:04.840
Well, yeah, there's even elements like with, with the guitar.
01:15:07.780
Um, people will kill you over, uh, solid state amps versus tube amps, which are solid state
01:15:13.820
is just like computer chips and stuff sounds really good.
01:15:16.800
So you guys wouldn't be able to tell, but if you're like an experienced guitar player and
01:15:21.480
you have a tube amplifier, um, well the, a modern day solid state amplifier could replicate
01:15:27.060
the exact sound and tone and all that stuff that you're going to get.
01:15:29.920
So you'll sound like Carlos Santana, but if you're actually playing through his stack with,
01:15:34.580
with the tube amplifier, with like a Marshall stack, whatever he's playing, there's a different
01:15:39.740
There's a different tonality like on you and you're keenly aware of that.
01:15:45.140
Whereas, so there is something to that technology and like, it's, it's, it's being played with.
01:15:51.360
And you're changing the atmosphere of, of the area that you're in, which I think is, is, you
01:15:57.060
know, certainly it's going to have its, um, sort of implications when it comes to this
01:16:02.300
If these things are all based off of frequency and, and, uh, harmonics, but I wanted to ask
01:16:07.380
you when you're doing this, what's kept me from doing this is, um, the overwhelming feeling
01:16:14.880
that something in the room was, you know, something was there and it was negative.
01:16:21.000
And I think that that played a pretty great role in me resisting this at all costs and
01:16:30.420
What I'm asking you was, uh, did you not have that sensation?
01:16:35.280
Was, was, was your feeling of slipping into sleep paralysis, something that was much more,
01:16:39.760
um, neutrally emotionally charged because for me, it was supremely negatively emotionally
01:16:46.100
charged and I didn't want to hang out in whatever state of existence this was any longer.
01:16:51.660
Um, it was always negative until I wanted to do the astral projection.
01:17:00.940
So I would always feel attacked and I always assumed that there was some sort of like paranormal
01:17:05.300
aspect to any time I would have like a sleep paralysis attack, but with the, um, astral
01:17:18.820
And I mean, but I also really wanted to do it and I would sort of like pray to my higher
01:17:24.940
self, my higher self to, um, help me in getting out of my body.
01:17:32.460
Do you think that you were, were you praying to some aspect of yourself or was something
01:17:40.120
I think there was something exterior helping me out because I had more success when I would
01:17:45.720
do that, like pray to my higher self to help me get out versus not.
01:17:52.020
I think, uh, undeniably there are spiritual aspects to it, you know?
01:17:58.620
Um, so I never saw anything particularly terrifying.
01:18:02.780
Um, I did have a couple of encounters with like entities, but I, um, very like pretty quickly
01:18:14.180
after learning how to astral project and like figuring out how to do it.
01:18:20.120
Um, I became a Christian and, um, and then I started having, we had like these demonic
01:18:28.260
And like, so I sort of dropped off of that and now whenever sleep paralysis starts, starts
01:18:39.680
So, and just like saying Jesus or praying is like releases me from it.
01:18:45.220
So I think that, um, astral projection, I mean, it's fun.
01:18:51.020
It's, it's exciting getting to like go into the astral realm, but I think it leaves you
01:18:57.240
And, um, like I've spoken to people where something like they felt like something rode back in with
01:19:03.460
them and now they have another presence like that is in their body.
01:19:08.160
And I think most people have like spirits attached to them, but they don't recognize that.
01:19:18.660
So they just, but in this case with this person, they could feel that there was an entity
01:19:25.500
And so, you know, like you can supposedly, if you run into a negative, a low vibration
01:19:33.640
being AKA a demon, um, that you can send love or positive energy at it.
01:19:50.280
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01:20:49.480
Um, I think that God answers prayers when they're mailed to the right address, meaning
01:21:00.760
And that other things will half-ass answer prayers, always with some terrible strings attached.
01:21:09.220
Um, and they don't really care about the mailing address.
01:21:15.060
Meaning, like, if you pray to something and it gets generally close enough to a little-
01:21:27.460
Well, then something's going to pick that up and they're going to run with it and they're
01:21:29.760
going to show you something that seems promising to get you on the line.
01:21:35.320
But when it comes to God, you've got to be very specific.
01:21:39.320
Uh, I do believe he answers prayers, but it can't be the universe, you know, whoever that-
01:21:52.640
And God does answer prayers, sometimes very quickly.
01:21:58.960
Like, I feel like deliverance has been placed on my heart and that God wants me to move toward-
01:22:06.460
Like, to try and help set people free who are in bondage, like I was in bondage.
01:22:12.740
And I feel like God has placed that on my heart.
01:22:15.160
So, like, recently I was praying, Lord, please let me see deliverance.
01:22:24.220
And literally the next morning, um, I had a friend who is under spiritual attack, uh,
01:22:34.300
Like, that happened, like, literally within, like, 10 hours of me praying that.
01:22:42.420
Like, God will let you know, or he lets me know at least that he is listening.
01:22:48.160
And I don't know, some weird stuff like that will happen sometimes.
01:22:52.600
Um, I've always been cautious in my prayers in that I do think they have to pass through a filter.
01:23:01.240
It's like, are you praying for something frivolous?
01:23:05.820
So, I've never been the type to pray for that sort of thing.
01:23:07.960
But, um, I try to make sure that my prayers are two things.
01:23:14.340
Of a spiritual nature and first and foremost, in alignment with God's will.
01:23:18.800
So, in other words, if I'm praying for something that's just not in the cards for me or for somebody else that's not part of God's plan, then so be it.
01:23:25.600
But it has to fundamentally be part of God's, you know, greater will.
01:23:29.740
So, um, yeah, I mean, can we talk a little bit then about, I know you said you had some altercations or some run-ins with some entities.
01:23:39.900
And the way that you said that made it sound like there's not too much to unpack there.
01:23:45.120
Uh, that these were maybe, um, uh, cursory interactions.
01:23:52.740
It's like, when you're astral projection, or astral projecting, rather, where are you going?
01:23:59.160
And, uh, even if these things were small, these interactions, to you, what were they like?
01:24:05.300
Um, so I wanted to go to, um, like Stonehenge and see the hinges in Scotland, also.
01:24:21.180
So I wanted to travel to Europe and see, you know, all of the, the different hinges, the, like, the stone, like, where ancient people placed all these massive stones.
01:24:36.340
And also, I, like, astral projected to this place in Scotland.
01:24:43.180
And, like, I, uh, my heritage is, uh, Scottish and Swedish.
01:24:50.600
But, so I was very interested in, like, the Scottish side.
01:24:59.360
And they used to have, uh, they would, like, put, way back in the day, they would, like, use the ground as, like, a part of, like, their structure.
01:25:10.880
And then also have, like, put, uh, like, grass and, like, turf and stuff, like, on top of their buildings.
01:25:17.840
So it was, like, this, I felt like I had time traveled.
01:25:21.440
And I went back and was, like, seeing these structures, how they would have been.
01:25:26.220
And there was a dog entity there, uh, that was sort of, like, a guardian of sorts.
01:25:39.640
This is, you're touching on something that seems to kind of peek its head out very often.
01:25:49.580
Um, you know, obviously, if you're a fan of Tony Merkel's, you're familiar with the concept of dog man.
01:25:56.500
There's certainly the, the concept of hellhounds.
01:26:06.320
Um, and then, of course, going back to what I was talking about with my, my son.
01:26:10.340
Uh, this, this dog entity, uh, with red eyes that, that spoke English.
01:26:16.160
Um, it's interesting because dogs do seem to have some place in the hierarchy in the spiritual realm.
01:26:24.020
Whether or not they're humanoid or even just, you know, like a, like a, uh, a quad, quad petal, a four-legged dog.
01:26:31.620
Um, doesn't always have to be a dude walking around with a dog head.
01:26:36.240
Is it ever daytime when you're astral projecting?
01:26:41.920
And so this time that I'm describing was in the daytime.
01:26:44.920
Um, I was at home and it was daytime, but when I, anyway, in this realm, it was daytime.
01:26:51.880
And, uh, the, this being was like a guardian of sorts, a guardian of this area or like the timeline or something.
01:27:05.400
He, and, uh, it is, I got like a male impression, but he like essentially chased me out of it.
01:27:17.260
The immediate area of Stonehenge, you're saying this thing.
01:27:20.300
So this was, I felt like I had gone back in time or it was like some sort of alternative timeline.
01:27:26.000
And it was like, uh, someplace in Scotland and it was like how they used to have like ancient, like stone age time, like how they would have their houses and they would like use them, put them like into the ground.
01:27:44.600
Um, it was sort of like a Hobbit ish, like Hobbiton, like, yeah, kind of a lot more like stone.
01:27:58.440
Like I wasn't expecting him and he just like appeared and was surprised and angry and wanted me to leave.
01:28:06.780
Do you get the feeling that you were in a different time or maybe could you have been in a different realm or aspect of a physical location in our reality?
01:28:18.680
Because oftentimes you hear the concept of this upside down and, um, and sometimes there are enough irregularities within the upside down that you may have like different structures where like generally it's the same geographical location, but sometimes there's enough variation where it's like that building didn't exist here, but it does there kind of.
01:28:39.000
That's very much how it is like when you astral project, it'll look the same, but in, in essence, but there will be differences like a house that has never had a, a fireplace will have a fireplace for example, or there'll be like extra buildings or things will be different colors.
01:29:02.780
I, I feel like there is like in the spirit world, there is like a whole society, like thing it looks like here, but just a little like different how they want it to be.
01:29:17.360
But like, there's like a whole society, like a whole thing, whole existence going on all around us that we just have no idea about.
01:29:25.120
What is it, I've heard it described as, um, it almost looks like it functions like another society.
01:29:35.020
And then I, that makes me wonder about the function of the entities, beings, people, whatever that inhabit that realm.
01:29:44.340
Are they aware of them being in a realm that's parallel to ours?
01:29:57.820
Are they aware that we really don't like it when they show up?
01:30:04.980
I think some of them intentionally hate us and don't want good for us.
01:30:13.080
And then like the, like, I don't think it's all demons, you know, like I, cause I, cause demons want to be like in your body sinning.
01:30:26.900
So when they jump in our, when they're with us and pushing us to do various things, like, I feel like they are receiving like the joy, the pleasure of whatever sin you have, like lust or whatever.
01:30:41.400
And like, that's why that they're, that's why they're doing it because they're in chains of darkness, like in the spirit world.
01:30:49.700
And they can't feel anything unless they're like inside a human body.
01:30:54.280
But then on the other side of that, these people that are inhabiting this upside down almost seem like there's some rhyme or reason, some functionality to that realm.
01:31:02.360
Like, I've even heard people describe it like, yeah, or like they have a job, you know what I mean?
01:31:10.140
So that doesn't strike me as some, something that's yearning to inhabit a physical body so that it can sin as much as it's indicative of somebody just going through the motions of their everyday life.
01:31:21.480
In fact, I've even heard it described where, when you're astral projecting, they might be keyed into you being there, but are freaked out because they can't see you.
01:31:30.500
You know, so there's like, there's a lot of really weird stuff about this that, even on this show, go ahead.
01:31:37.600
My husband, he, he talked about this on the confessionals, but he saw a, a group of like, little people.
01:31:47.780
It, like, like, they were sort of like translucent-ish and it was at, it was at night and they were standing next to this great tree.
01:31:57.780
And it was like a circle of like, little fairy dwarf people.
01:32:03.880
And like, him and two other people all saw the same thing.
01:32:07.580
And they all were able to describe it to each other afterwards.
01:32:11.340
But like, what, they, like, they didn't, these people didn't do anything.
01:32:15.920
Like, these little people, like, they, they recognized that my husband was there and like, they were like startled.
01:32:23.140
And then my husband was terrified and ran away and they all ran away.
01:32:28.520
And if you have too much of a productionist point of view, they don't, then where do they fit in?
01:32:34.900
And so, like, I was watching the movie, the original Hellboy films, which are actually, they, they age really well.
01:32:41.600
I went back and watched them with my son recently.
01:32:43.500
And in the second movie, they delve into this realm that's inhabited by sort of goblins and various, almost like Celtic mythology creatures.
01:32:58.500
And the way they get there is there is a portal that is under the London Bridge and they have to gain access to it by like speaking to the guard or whatever.
01:33:09.560
And I think a lot of things are hidden in fantasy that rhyme with something in reality, you know, in fictional films.
01:33:17.620
And I'm not saying that the base of the London Bridge has this other realm, but what I am saying is, I've heard enough testimony from people that describe things that you shouldn't see outside of the film Hellboy, or you shouldn't see outside of the film Lord of the Rings, or you shouldn't see, you know, insert your.
01:33:33.440
And, but yet, here people are telling these stories, and you can call them liars, but oftentimes there's patterns, if you care to look, that repeat themselves from one person's testimony to another, that make you go, either everybody's lying, or people are running into something that seemingly mirrors what we call, you know, fantasy Hollywood films.
01:33:57.040
And, you know, the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, Narnia, I've heard stories like that multiple times.
01:34:04.600
I've seen, I know this is something that's not, I've seen videos where people all of a sudden came into contact with something that looked like a garden gnome.
01:34:14.100
And all I can tell you is like, hey, it's just videos you see on the internet, but of the ones that I've seen, the people are so horrified that they react like somebody who's genuinely afraid of a mouse.
01:34:25.120
You ever see people, like, they get on a table, and they're screaming, and it's like, why are you so disproportionately afraid of this mouse?
01:34:34.980
So, you'll know that that is a hard thing to fake.
01:34:39.300
That's a very, when you see something that, you know, you're up on a chair and you're screaming.
01:34:43.160
Well, I've seen people do that to things that look like gnomes.
01:34:46.540
And then I've heard stories of people seeing gnomes.
01:34:49.360
What business is there in this realm that we inhabit for tiny people with red pointy hats?
01:34:55.120
But I've heard that story a lot, more than I should have heard it for something that doesn't exist.
01:35:00.020
So, I am a Christian, and I believe in Jesus Christ, but I also sometimes wonder, like, did the Bible just not bother to talk about the gnomes because it wasn't important necessarily to what the Bible was trying to get across?
01:35:11.660
Because the Bible tells you something very specific.
01:35:13.320
And there's so much that is under the sun that isn't in the Bible, which we know is real, right?
01:35:18.680
Like, I don't know if the Bible is talking about chimpanzees, but we know that chimpanzees are real.
01:35:22.060
So, I just wonder if that wasn't a component that made it because that's not what this is about.
01:35:27.020
That's out there, but this is telling you something very specific.
01:35:31.180
I think, like, I think it's a non-salvation issue.
01:35:44.420
I believe that he died for our sins and rose again.
01:35:47.340
And, like, he gives us authority to trample over serpents.
01:35:52.540
But I do think that there is much more to the spirit realm and reality than could be explained in the Bible.
01:36:03.080
And I think the Jewish people of the Old Testament were set apart from the rest of, you know, the world, the rest of the world at that time.
01:36:13.880
And their stories, their history is very specific to themselves, but it leaves out the rest of the world, you know?
01:36:22.440
So, like, there was a lot going on that isn't in the Bible.
01:36:31.420
And I think in some ways it can be a distraction, like getting obsessed with fairies and things or whatever, or, like, astral projecting.
01:36:39.800
All of that, I feel, is a distraction from what's truly important, which is Jesus and helping people.
01:36:48.080
There are so many people in bondage, so many people brainwashed.
01:36:51.940
So, like, it's just, and I think that that is what's truly important, is helping them and reaching them.
01:36:58.540
But I do think that there is a lot more to reality, you know what I mean?
01:37:04.320
Like, I think Bigfoot, fairies, Dogman, all of that is, it exists.
01:37:11.120
But I think that they're, like, extradimensional beings.
01:37:14.180
Like, they, maybe they can cross, they have the ability to cross over into our realm at, like, certain times or at will.
01:37:23.400
But, like, yeah, either everyone's wrong, everyone is lying, which it seems impossible that every single person is lying, or there's something going on.
01:37:35.720
And I think that the really unfortunate thing about that body of information, Bigfoot, fairies, things like that, astral projection, is that because Christianity doesn't cover it in any meaningful way,
01:37:51.920
when a book on witchcraft in the teenage section of Barnes & Nobles covers it, well, if you've had an experience or you've heard of an experience that just lodges itself in your brain and you just can't stop thinking about it,
01:38:07.480
it's like, my friend said they saw little people with red hats or, you know, whatever the case may be, all of a sudden here it is in this book.
01:38:13.400
Like, well, now this book is an authority on the topic.
01:38:16.360
And that's the problem, is we get amazed by these spiritual encounters, and then we find something that addresses it, and that something then becomes our authority on the topic.
01:38:27.700
Yeah, like a book on witchcraft in the teenage section of Borders, right?
01:38:36.920
I really want to get into how you become disenchanted with this, you know, version of reality that witchcraft has offered you,
01:38:46.940
and how you make this transition over into Christianity.
01:39:11.480
And I was with this woman for seven years, and she introduced me to hard drugs, and I lost everything,
01:39:24.600
and was basically living out of my car and homeless.
01:39:29.560
And my husband, the man who had become my husband, got me into rehab, and I figured out eventually that, so I had had an abortion at 18.
01:39:44.640
And, like, the guy that I was with pressured me to get an abortion, and, like, when I went, he went to, like, a metal show, like, that day, and, like, wasn't there for me.
01:39:56.220
And, like, my mom drove me, and she was a hardcore feminist, and anyway, so I started to torture myself, basically.
01:40:11.900
And I would, like, drink blackout drunk, like, almost daily.
01:40:17.460
This is because of the trauma associated with the abortion?
01:40:21.600
So, I, my husband, the man that would become my husband, got me into rehab, and I got clean for, I was probably clean for, like, two or three years, and was, like, waitressing and stuff.
01:40:40.240
And then we got pregnant, and we considered an abortion, and somebody at the clinic told me that when you have a baby and you decide to keep the baby, the universe will make everything work out.
01:41:04.540
So, I decided to keep the baby, and I gave birth to him.
01:41:07.980
And I, while I was nursing him one day, oh, so I, when I was pregnant, I was nine months pregnant, I suddenly remembered that I probably had a 401k.
01:41:24.260
And we didn't know how we were going to make ends meet.
01:41:28.420
He was working at some, like, lame job at an antique store.
01:41:34.720
I was waitressing and bartending, and I was, like, how are we going to do this?
01:41:39.700
But then suddenly one day, I remembered, hey, I have a 401k from that job that I lost due to drug addiction.
01:41:48.000
And I went to go look, and it turns out that I had $75,000 in my 401k.
01:42:00.100
But if I had remembered that I had had this 401k before I got pregnant, I would have used all, I would have blown it all on drugs.
01:42:09.000
I got a severance package of, like, $25,000, and I blew all of that in three months on drugs.
01:42:20.100
Can I just say, as an aside, I've known a lot of people who have been through very similar situations to yours, and at the peak of when they would be, they would have this proclivity to abuse drugs and live a debaucherous lifestyle, they often fall into an incredible amount of money.
01:42:35.680
I mean, that happens in so many, I know individuals that I can count, I think, exceeding, like, certainly exceeding one hand, who, at the height of their drug use, their debaucherous lifestyle, would come into more money than I've ever seen in my life.
01:42:54.600
And it would come and go, and they'd blow it on all kinds of crap, and then it would just be a funny story in hindsight.
01:43:02.500
But, I just find that funny, because you want to talk about the universe providing.
01:43:07.440
Well, it seems like maybe there's even something that wants to provide you with fuel to the fire that you're burning.
01:43:18.820
Maybe not a lot of other people have seen that.
01:43:23.420
And, you know, I think that there are, like, spiritual, I think there's something spiritual to most things that happen in the natural.
01:43:46.000
And I think that God, like, kept it from my memory or something.
01:43:51.260
And then suddenly, I remembered when I was nine months pregnant and didn't know what to do, that I had $75,000.
01:44:01.860
And I was like, I will pay off the truck if you marry me.
01:44:14.580
And, which I never thought in a million years would ever happen.
01:44:18.340
I was not one of those girls who dreamed about getting married, what my wedding was going to be like, and how many kids I was going to have.
01:44:27.440
So, after I had my son, I was sitting there nursing him.
01:44:36.260
And I would hang up my husband's clothes, his work clothes.
01:44:39.700
And all of a sudden, I see one of the shirts, like, something pinched the corner and, like, let go.
01:44:47.740
And I was like, what other explanation could there be?
01:45:00.960
Like, there was no logical explanation for what I just saw other than perhaps a spirit of some sort.
01:45:08.420
And so, a lot of weird stuff started happening.
01:45:15.860
And I looked into, I got, like, a bunch of sage and, like, burned it.
01:45:23.160
And, like, I was into witchcraft still at that time.
01:45:27.360
But I realized that, like, the demonic was real.
01:45:32.460
My husband saw, like, this tall, like, lanky white thing in our home.
01:45:54.920
Certainly, these things can be broken down into categories.
01:46:01.120
And while all this is going on, my dad is sending me Jordan Peterson videos.
01:46:07.120
And I would watch these videos looking for things to argue with.
01:46:12.000
So that I could, like, find things to, like, tell my dad, like, you're an idiot.
01:46:24.160
But I started watching enough of them to where, like, these seeds would start getting planted.
01:46:33.220
Instead of, like, finding things to argue with.
01:46:39.680
And I started thinking about, like, goals and things.
01:46:42.420
And he, but so I had a lot of free time on my hands because I was a stay-at-home mom.
01:46:49.140
So I consumed, like, all of his college courses that he, like, he, at that time, he had them all free on YouTube.
01:46:58.160
And so in these courses, he talks about Carl Jung and shadow work.
01:47:04.780
And shadow work is essentially where you go into your shadow, the things about yourself that you've, like, suppressed.
01:47:13.740
And you incorporate those things back into your personality to become a whole person.
01:47:23.600
The way you can tell what's in your shadow is by looking at other people and, like, the things that really annoy you and other people are what are in your shadow.
01:47:36.660
Like, when, like, people project their issues onto other people.
01:47:43.000
But so at that time, like I said, I was literally had blue hair.
01:47:49.200
And so naturally, the thing that I thought immediately jumped to mind were, like, MAGA people.
01:47:56.940
So in rehab, I had this guy that was in rehab with me who would wear, like, MAGA hats.
01:48:06.820
And, like, one of us would, like, leave the room or whatever.
01:48:12.120
And I was like, okay, that's the guy that pisses me off the most.
01:48:15.620
So in my mind, I was, like, trying to sympathize with him and, like, I don't know, like, empathize with a conservative standpoint.
01:48:27.160
So I got on Google and I was trying to find conservative media.
01:48:33.040
And it is so, like, at that time, I had no idea about, like, the echo chambers.
01:48:44.500
Like, I would try and find anything conservative.
01:48:47.940
And all I would get was, like, CNN or MSNBC or Rachel Maddow, which was all the stuff I was already consuming.
01:48:53.320
So that was the first time I really realized that there something weird was happening where, like, I couldn't find conservative viewpoints.
01:49:09.060
And I tried to listen to a few of their podcasts.
01:49:20.560
Like, I don't know if he could speak any faster.
01:49:29.180
And, like, I would get so angry at the things that they were saying, like, about Obama or Hillary Clinton, that I literally could not understand what they were saying.
01:49:44.120
So I would have to go back and, like, rewatch things again to, like, try and, like, push myself aside to listen.
01:49:53.500
So, but I, in that I learned how to set aside my emotions and look logically at a situation.
01:50:01.540
And before that, all I did was ride on my emotions.
01:50:06.540
So things started, my worldview started to shift at that point.
01:50:12.200
And I started to get into the Joe Rogan experience.
01:50:19.020
And in his interview, his first interview with Ben Shapiro, he asks Ben, like, why he believes in God.
01:50:29.180
And Ben Shapiro starts talking about the image of God and what that means.
01:50:34.220
And he essentially says, God placed man in a logical, ordered universe and to carry, to be the image of God is to be, is to understand the universe and to be able to steward the, to steward reality.
01:50:53.160
And we're the only beings, the only material beings that are able to do that.
01:50:58.060
And he said it in, like, a much more eloquent way, but that's essentially what he said.
01:51:12.200
And I saw that God was real and that I have been, like, I had been on the wrong path completely.
01:51:21.940
And so I still didn't think Christianity was the truth.
01:51:28.660
They are judgmental and smelly and I don't like Christians.
01:51:32.920
And so I was like, I'm going to read the Hebrew Bible and learn Hebrew and maybe I'll convert to Judaism.
01:51:44.100
I started to teach myself Hebrew and read the Old Testament.
01:51:48.360
And in Isaiah, it very, very clearly, and in Psalms, there are very clear references to Jesus, to somebody being crucified, to somebody, like, being killed.
01:52:10.800
My parents taught me that, like, there was no way to prove that Jesus existed and that faith is blind and et cetera.
01:52:17.600
So I got online and it's very easy to just look it up.
01:52:24.860
And even secular scholars, most of them agree that Jesus was a real person that walked the earth.
01:52:36.780
And the Dead Sea Scrolls are Isaiah, the scrolls of Isaiah, and they've been carbon dated to pre-exist Jesus, the time that Jesus would have existed.
01:52:47.860
And if you compare the Isaiah Scrolls to the scrolls that we use for, like, ESV translations, for example, they're identical.
01:52:57.140
So there was a prophecy about Jesus that existed, has been proven to exist, before Jesus walked the earth as, like, a material person.
01:53:12.480
So I logically converted, and then I, it took a little bit of time, and then I repented for the abortion, for being an occultist, and I received the Holy Spirit.
01:53:38.020
Like, I had been a lesbian for almost a decade before that.
01:53:42.360
So, like, those desires, though, have, like, completely melted away.
01:53:48.000
And I don't, I don't know if that was, it's a heart change.
01:53:53.720
Talk about a paradigm shift for you, because you, you, you go from a worldview that's completely informed by emotional decisions.
01:54:02.620
I mean, that's, that's, that's very much what it seems like.
01:54:04.600
And I do think that emotion, because we're emotional and we're logical, and that's kind of the divide.
01:54:10.440
And this negative spiritual realm feeds off of our emotions and manipulates us through them.
01:54:17.700
So you go from a world that's dominated by the emotional viewpoint to a world that is navigated quite successfully, considering where, where you've ended up in your spiritual path.
01:54:35.560
I, I took the same, almost the same exact steps, like, uh, Larry Elder, Ben Shapiro, Jordan Peterson, which is the top lobster name that's from his book, uh, about the lobster.
01:54:49.680
And, and it's a, I don't know where you're at now.
01:54:53.060
And it, I don't, I don't know, that's your own path.
01:54:55.980
But like, I kind of out, not that I outgrew these people, but I feel like they've changed a little bit.
01:55:01.300
They're a lot more about censorship now or whatever.
01:55:06.380
Like the weird stuff about like censoring, uh, free speech on Twitter.
01:55:11.300
And Peterson too, when he's going off about it, like you've got to take the vaccine, like he's kind of spiraling about it.
01:55:17.140
And there was a change, there's money involved, there's other in the fair, but it's one of these things where they'll tell you a hundred truths.
01:55:23.820
And then this one lie to deviate you from the path.
01:55:26.620
And I'm looking at Jordan Peterson and a Ben Shapiro, which I never knew his real motives, but to me, they've deviated from the path that I'm going towards right now, but it's fine because they, they put me on this path.
01:55:39.820
Like, I was like, I had to like really listen to what this guy was saying a couple of times because I was resistant to what he was saying, but something about it made me come back to it.
01:55:49.300
And good for you for like, cause it's hard when you have somebody like basically debunking your entire ideology and your entire worldview.
01:55:58.860
Uh, it's real easy to be like, screw you and never go back.
01:56:02.840
But like you went back and you listened, you're like, wait, there was, but there was something here.
01:56:06.280
It bothered me to bring to Ben Shapiro and you went back.
01:56:12.480
You were like, I know that was hard, but there's something here.
01:56:16.020
Well, I mean, so it wasn't, so I, it was more so like Klavan.
01:56:24.620
They had like this whole movement where it was like.
01:56:31.260
I still have, you can see Peterson's books are right here.
01:56:34.600
I have both of them and they serve a purpose, but he had a tendency to reduce everything to strictly allegory.
01:56:44.960
And these allegories being maps by which you can, you know, navigate and become a more effective person in your, they miss yourself to your family, to your community.
01:56:56.300
He misses, he misses a lot of like the spiritual stuff, but, uh, maybe, maybe, but not there.
01:57:07.340
And I'm having trouble deciding if that's, is that nefarious or not?
01:57:12.600
Is that, yeah, it's maybe it's purposeful, purposeful, but there's also a tier of people like how you're describing.
01:57:19.160
Like if, you know, if you're a blue haired feminist, you're not going to come to this show and have your mind changed.
01:57:25.520
This show is for people who are already sort of red pilled and we're taking that next step.
01:57:29.680
So there's like levels and portals that you've got to step through in order to get to, I guess, where I'm at.
01:57:35.860
I get, I, and I hope that we're at where the truth is or at least where we're like one step closer.
01:57:42.960
But, you know, Peterson had his, uh, his, uh, dissection of the, the book of Genesis is tremendous.
01:57:50.840
He misses a lot of important spiritual points, but, uh, the philosophical, the philosophical reasoning that he applied to it is just, it's irreplaceable.
01:58:01.080
And that's something that I've listened to a bunch of times and I should go back and listen again, but I just feel like lately the world has gotten like, like we're moving real fast to wherever we're going.
01:58:10.500
So I'm like, all right, we have to catch up and we've got to tell the people, but I don't know.
01:58:28.160
We'll always have these books, you know, of this guy who was.
01:58:35.300
I think he's a human being, you know, just like the rest of us.
01:58:39.020
Well, that's provided that it's even him anymore because I look at that and I'm like, is that, uh, Sacha Baron Cohen in a, in a two-tone suit?
01:58:52.320
And like, there were a lot of people who were saying, oh, he's the, the last prophet and things like that, because he seemed like this wise man that the world really needed.
01:59:02.500
And I think, you know, he stood, he was ringing the alarm long before years before everything fell apart with, uh, like the gender stuff and the attacks on free speech.
01:59:15.040
And it, I mean, you know, even, even David had a fall, you know, David had a fall.
01:59:22.680
All of these men of the Bible are human and they all had their pitfalls, Solomon.
01:59:28.120
They all had, they, God used them and he was with them, but they did have, they fell away at some point, you know, and like he can still redeem him and bring him back.
01:59:40.300
But I think it's ironic how his claim to fame was freedom of speech.
01:59:47.360
And he has like reneged on that because of, what was it?
01:59:52.880
It was, it was, it was about demon trolls on Twitter.
01:59:59.000
He's blocked me on Twitter for being a demon troll when I was just telling him that I was telling him the truth as I saw it.
02:00:09.620
But now we're, we're, my, my breaking off point, uh, with him was, uh, right around COVID where, you know, one of his things, his claim to fame to me was, uh, tell the truth or at least don't lie.
02:00:21.460
And, and don't apologize to the mob and, and, you know, it's like 2021 and he, he's talking to Trudeau on Dave Rubin show and he's like, I took your damn vaccine.
02:00:34.100
And it's like, that's not how it works, Jordan.
02:00:36.440
You knew that from 2018, you've, you've said that it's in your books and here you are making a deal with the devil for something that they're not going to give you back.
02:00:44.660
And, and like you, how many people have you led down the wrong path, whether you took the vaccine or not?
02:00:50.160
It's just like, you're encouraging people to do this.
02:00:52.600
And same thing with Ben Shapiro is like, Oh, my, my wife's a doctor.
02:00:56.140
It's just, I was like, listen, next, next, next shooter, next person up.
02:01:00.620
You have, you, you have a huge audience and you're, you're leading them.
02:01:05.420
So I'm like, well, now thanks for the work you've done, but we, we have to, we can't make idols out of these people.
02:01:11.960
We have to take the information they give us and continue to get new information from other people or, or do it ourselves.
02:01:19.040
This is, this perfectly highlights why it's important to follow Jesus Christ and to not idolize a man and follow a man because we're always going to fail.
02:01:29.820
And if you're following a man, well, then the line stops there.
02:01:33.060
All of a sudden you're standing in front of Jordan Peterson.
02:01:34.720
He's laying on the ground in tears on benzos and you're going, I don't know where to go anymore.
02:01:40.240
Because I, I've, I've made it a point in my life not to follow man, but it's still in some sort of way.
02:01:47.540
I mean, look, top lobster, I am, I have put him on this pedestal and I have these expectations of this guy.
02:01:54.720
And when he falls short of them, I'm very harsh at him.
02:01:58.460
And maybe, maybe I'm, you know, maybe I've said things to him that were a little too rough for him.
02:02:06.120
Would you be open top to a Jordan Peterson redemption arc?
02:02:15.760
But I've, I feel like we need, I've, I've moved on and, you know, he could help other people.
02:02:21.160
But for me, it's just like, I'm, I'm doing something else, but yeah.
02:02:24.800
I need him to come out and I need him to be like, I was wrong.
02:02:27.920
And there's a huge spiritual component and demons are real.
02:02:40.900
I mean, if you ask him if he believes in, he's like, what do you mean by God?
02:02:58.100
I told a bunch of people that I know that as well, that they, a lot of people do behave
02:03:01.860
as if there is a God, but do not say it with their mouth.
02:03:10.240
Well, I mean, unless you have anything left on the table that you, you feel compelled to
02:03:19.200
So that was, so we talked about, like, that's how I became a Christian, right?
02:03:25.660
And I went through, down this path where I wanted to be a witch and a Christian, and I
02:03:38.560
And then we, the whole COVID happened, everything happened, and we ended up, like, moving out
02:03:45.300
And I started going through this Baptist church, and we had been kind of looking at churches
02:03:51.240
where we lived before, but I experienced a lot of, like, judgment or whatever at the
02:03:59.780
I don't, I don't, anyway, we ended up at a Baptist church out here, and I, my beliefs
02:04:05.700
and my understanding of the Holy Spirit were refined, and eventually, like, all of that
02:04:11.960
new age stuff, like, fell off, and I became, like, a more solidly, like, I had, like, a
02:04:22.340
solid foundation to stand on, like, a truer understanding of the Bible, and, like, I stopped
02:04:27.600
looking for, like, reincarnation in the Bible, like, trying to, like, people would use, like,
02:04:34.300
calling John the Baptist Elijah as proof that they believed in reincarnation, but it's not
02:04:41.160
true, and, like, in the Bible, it says, like, you only die once, okay?
02:04:50.820
I'm still a member there now, and I, everything was fine until I came under, like, very severe
02:05:03.840
And, like, as a result of that, my beliefs have shifted again, and it's sort of, like,
02:05:12.200
I think that I had, like, the religious understanding down, and then true Christian spirituality has
02:05:21.400
So, like, the gifts of the Spirit and the Holy Spirit and, like, the authority that we
02:05:26.440
have over demons has, I now understand all of that, and I'm very, in a very real way, experiencing
02:05:39.880
Yeah, so, with the demonic oppression that I came under, my, I had just given birth to my
02:05:47.880
third baby, and she, this was earlier this year, and she is perfect and amazing, but we stopped
02:05:57.440
going to church because I had a newborn, and so I stopped reading the Bible, I stopped really, I
02:06:04.080
wasn't really praying a lot before that anyway, like, I would pray for, like, before meals, or, like,
02:06:11.200
pray, like, some before bed, like, thank God for the day, whatever, go to bed, and so that's where I
02:06:17.320
was spiritually, and my husband gets me this book, and he was so excited about this book, and he
02:06:23.540
really hyped it up, and as soon as I got it and opened it, I realized, like, oh, wait, I didn't,
02:06:33.640
okay, so it was a hand-bound, like, $160 book, and it had a giant pentagram on it, and Freemason
02:06:41.420
symbols, and it was a book on the history of symbols, and I flipped through it to the Christianity
02:06:48.320
section, and the first thing in the Christianity section is information on Buddhism, or voodoo, and,
02:06:55.460
like, how voodoo is done, and I was, like, okay, and I didn't want to hurt his feelings, so I accepted
02:07:05.360
this book, and I put it on top of my refrigerator, and I didn't look at it again, but then my in-laws
02:07:13.540
came to stay with us to see the baby, and I was, like, oh, they're Southern Baptists. I got to hide
02:07:20.940
this book, so I hid the book, and I moved it back to my bedroom, and I put it on my dresser, and then
02:07:29.660
we all started having nightmares. My youngest son started seeing, he called it the happy monster,
02:07:38.460
like, the happy monster from the playroom. He would, like, scream terrified, and, like, hide behind me,
02:07:43.980
and he'd be like, the happy monster is here, the happy, he's only two, so, like, his, how he explains
02:07:50.420
things is, he's still coming into language, but anyway, he would say the happy monster is here, and I would
02:07:55.460
rebuke it, and he would say that it left, but then it kept happening, and we all, I started having
02:08:02.180
these dreams where, like, I could not say Jesus, like, Jesus would not come out of my mouth, and
02:08:09.680
my husband was having nightmares, my children were having nightmares, everybody was, like, seeing weird
02:08:16.740
stuff, stuff that was moving, and we started going back to church again while all this was going on,
02:08:25.340
and while we were singing, I, the words that I was trying to sing, I sang, hell will rain forever,
02:08:34.960
that came out of my mouth, and I was, like, what is going on right now, and, like, trying to rebuke this
02:08:43.640
thing would not work, like, it would work, and, like, things would disappear, but it would, it kept coming
02:08:49.120
back, and I, that experience taught me a lot, it, I learned about, like, the legal rights that demons
02:09:01.600
have for Christians, even, like, Christians, you can come into agreement without realizing it with a
02:09:08.100
demonic entity, and the entity can control you, it can, like, go into you, even as a Christian, and that
02:09:15.160
is not something that, like, I believed or understood at all, and God, I think, I think God
02:09:23.780
finally gave me a dream where I saw the book, and I knew that there was, I saw myself as a teenager
02:09:31.100
doing occult, like, rituals, and I saw the book, and then I knew that there was a demon there, and I was
02:09:39.120
trying to scream for Jesus, and I could not say, Jesus would not come out of my mouth, and I was, like,
02:09:45.460
getting sleep paralysis, and the whole, the whole thing, and finally, after this dream, I realized
02:09:52.280
the book, I have accepted this book into my home, I have put my husband's feelings above God, and above
02:10:00.980
what I know God wants, and so I confronted my husband about the book, and he said that he thought
02:10:07.820
it would be, like, reading about Hitler, where, like, it's, um, it's harmless, you know, it's kind
02:10:13.660
of interesting, it's, like, dark and spooky, but it's, there's no harm in reading about Hitler, and I was
02:10:20.180
like, no, I have renounced all things occult, and as soon as I said that, I felt this oppression lift off
02:10:30.740
of me, and, like, I felt lighter, and, um, like, all, like, the fear and anxiety, like, I picked up vaping
02:10:38.760
and stuff again, and, like, I don't, like, while this was happening, and, like, I don't know, as soon as I
02:10:45.740
said I have renounced all things occult, it, I felt it leave me, and my husband got upset, and he took the book
02:10:53.100
away, and I felt, like, everything, like, leave, like, the darkness leave, and he sent the book back, and, um, that
02:11:02.680
began a whole journey, this all happened before the thing where, like, my son was attacked and had one in
02:11:11.680
him, so these, I, these all happened this year, but I feel like God was, like, teaching me, you know, so, like,
02:11:20.380
he allowed this to happen, and it, I repented for idolatry, repented for, like, accepting the stuff into my
02:11:27.820
home and begged for his mercy, but, like, in all of this, God has really used it to open my eyes to the authority
02:11:35.780
that we have as Christians, and we, like, the church is so dry right now, I think, like, the Pentecostals aren't in, like,
02:11:44.000
charismatic kind of non-denominational churches, I think, have, like, a much better grasp of, like, what's going on,
02:11:54.860
but by and large, like, all these Methodist churches, like, the Baptist churches, like, I love my brothers and sisters
02:12:02.520
in Christ, but it is dry as a bone, and, like, the, kind of, like, the Holy Spirit, like, is there and
02:12:11.780
accessible, and, like, we, and, like, prayer is, like, how we tapped in, tap into that power, the power that we
02:12:18.640
have, and I think there is something in us as humans that desires that power, that desires the supernatural,
02:12:26.980
that, which is why the New Age and the occult and all of these things are so popular now, and there is a
02:12:35.100
space that the church needs to step up and fill, and, like, we have to be talking about spiritual warfare.
02:12:43.380
Even Tucker Carlson is coming out about his demonic attacks, and, like, it is very real, and there is a very
02:12:52.160
serious need in our culture now of people that are willing and able to stand up with the Lord and,
02:13:00.320
like, break people free of these chains, and let people know, like, there is power in the Holy Spirit.
02:13:06.640
It is not weak. It is not, you just let people, you let everything, like, trample over you, and you just,
02:13:13.680
like, stay in your corner and pray and hope everything turns out okay. That is not how Christianity is
02:13:19.400
supposed to be. That's not what Jesus did. Jesus went out, and he set people free, and we are supposed
02:13:27.300
to be doing that. So, yeah, that's what I do. I think we're about to, we're about to see something
02:13:32.820
like that, some kind of revival. I just, like, kind of how we discussed with, like, a Jordan Peterson
02:13:39.280
type. I'm excited about it, but I, I'm weary about the, not the outcome of it, but I'm weary about the
02:13:48.120
players in it, because there's going to be a lot, there's a lot of people that are noticing that
02:13:51.840
that's happening, and they're already moving to fill these positions. So, which way they move,
02:13:57.680
I don't know. I just, you know, keep your eyes on God, keep your eyes on Jesus, and it's going to be
02:14:03.660
fun the next couple of years. I think it's going to be a good time, but I'm just keeping my head in a
02:14:09.200
swivel for the, the, the delusion, or the, whatever the, the trickery that, that might come with this,
02:14:15.260
because, yeah, that's, yeah. You're going to try something, like, a year ago, or whatever, some sort
02:14:20.880
of, like, I don't know. You're right, like, they're, like, the enemy, and the people who, you know,
02:14:27.820
are his minions, essentially, like, are going to move, and it's going to be deceptive, like, it's just
02:14:33.940
how they, how they work, but I think, like you said, keep your eyes on Jesus, keep your eyes on
02:14:39.620
God, and the Holy Spirit. I think that there's, like, I think the Holy Spirit is going to, like,
02:14:46.100
we've had, like, a lot of emphasis on Jesus and God, and I think that the Holy Spirit is missing
02:14:51.560
from the church, and it's a triune God. So, anyway. I think that, well, on that topic of the deception
02:15:00.180
that's coming that, that Top is anticipating, and I agree with that sentiment. I can feel it, too,
02:15:05.100
and I'll not be following, what's his name, Russell Brand anywhere. Thank you very much, but
02:15:11.580
on the topic of this dream that you had, you said you were, you had a dream where you could see
02:15:18.760
yourself when you were a teenager, and you're going through these books, and we did an episode
02:15:23.100
recently with Heidi Love on Mormonism, and I think what that episode did for me was it made it very
02:15:31.260
clear that the practices that are happening today are the same practices that were happening
02:15:38.740
in the beginning. It's all sort of like this Solomonistic magic, right? The idea that Solomon
02:15:45.360
bound these demons and had them do his will using various sigils and stuff comes from extra canonical
02:15:51.860
texts, but I think it makes a lot of sense because you can see the echoes of those practices still
02:16:00.300
happening today. It's the same entities, it's the same practices, the same magic, the same ceremonies,
02:16:06.040
the same rituals, and I think that that's what that dream, nothing new under the sun, right? And I think
02:16:10.960
that that's what that dream was, was like, look, you're doing the same thing. If the through line
02:16:17.320
is Solomonistic magic, which maybe it's not, I could be wrong, who cares? But if there is a
02:16:22.140
through line, and it's the same practices, what you're doing in your witchcraft practice is the
02:16:27.240
same thing that's happening in these Freemason halls. It's just different degrees of decorum,
02:16:34.280
you know what I mean, as far as like the level of the ceremony and the...
02:16:39.260
It's the same thing. It's the same thing. And I feel like that's what God was trying to show
02:16:42.800
you in that moment was like, you're beholden to the same exact practices right now. It's just
02:16:48.420
sitting on top of your fridge, but it's another book for another people, rebranded, you know,
02:16:55.000
packaged differently. It's the same thing, though.
02:17:01.760
I look forward to talking to you again. I don't know how much time, but I feel like you're going
02:17:07.800
to have a pretty good testimony maybe with your husband and what happens in your life because
02:17:13.440
you're at a... It seems like you're at like a point. You're at a point here where
02:17:24.000
I want God to use me. Like, that's my primary... Like, I want God to use me.
02:17:28.560
I want to help people who are where I was, which was blinded and deceived and, you know,
02:17:36.720
He kept your logic intact. It's funny because, you know, you don't use something for so long.
02:17:42.060
You think it gets rusty and dusty, but I think you navigated your way out of that using logic
02:17:49.300
in a way that a lot of people wouldn't have been able to do. So... And I mean, it's all for
02:17:54.920
your benefit and also the benefit of your family.
02:17:57.760
So, well, thank you very much for sharing your story. This was excellent. I thought it
02:18:05.680
was excellent. I thought it was really refreshing to hear. Oftentimes we have people on the show
02:18:11.480
who are experts in some, you know, maybe they're a theologian of some sort of biblical theologian
02:18:16.880
or... It's not often that we get to talk to somebody who came through that path that you
02:18:22.160
did. I came through it in a similar way, but I never adhered to anything and I never practiced
02:18:25.720
anything. It was just what first caught my interest. But you being in it, practicing it,
02:18:32.560
immersing yourself in it, and then coming out of the other end, I think that that testimony
02:18:37.560
resonates with a lot of people. Because like you said, I think you nailed it, right? We don't have
02:18:44.180
this spiritual connection in the West. So when witchcraft comes along and shows you these things
02:18:50.460
that, you know, are filled with truths, but fundamental lies, they're very attractive to
02:18:56.180
people. And the church is dropping that ball. Maybe, maybe it's our lot, which really the church
02:19:03.720
needs to look at itself. Why on earth are shows like this doing the job that they should be doing?
02:19:10.780
But there's a vacuum, there's a void. And, you know, voices like yours need to step up and fill that
02:19:17.740
void. Because I get the feeling that time is short. But thank you very much for coming on the show
02:19:24.040
today and sharing this. One more time, I know you don't have much in the way of for people to find
02:19:29.980
you, but I'm sure there's going to be people that are interested. So could you just let folks know?
02:19:34.200
You can find me on Instagram at Mama Shaw OC. It's private at the moment, but just send me a
02:19:40.280
friend request and I'll add you on. You need to update it. But yeah, just feel free to reach out if
02:19:46.620
anyone has any questions or anything. Thank y'all so much for having me on. I really appreciate
02:19:53.240
it. Like, I love the show. Y'all are speaking truth into the darkness.
02:19:58.440
Thank you. That means a lot. And again, thanks for your time. This is amazing. And
02:20:02.400
I think we'll be back. We might have the rest of the week off, David.
02:20:10.680
No, not this week. Sorry, guys. But maybe we'll figure something out for these people.
02:20:15.760
Well, maybe we'll do something last minute in a couple of days. But thank you again, Mama
02:20:20.320
Shaw. I don't want to dox you. And we'll see you guys next time. Peace out.
02:20:26.780
The greatest hypnotist on planet Earth is a oblong box in the corner of the room. It is constantly
02:20:33.740
telling us what to believe is real. If you can persuade them that what they see with their
02:20:39.860
eyes is what there is to see to go. Because they'll laugh in the face of an explanation that
02:20:46.800
portrays the bigger picture of what's happening. And they have.