Order of Man - 10 Green Flags to Look For in a Woman ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart

00:00:04.980 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.460 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong. This is your life. This is who

00:00:17.180 you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,

00:00:22.720 you can call yourself a man. Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Mickler.

00:00:27.620 I'm the host and the founder of the Order of Man podcast and movement, and I am glad you're here.

00:00:33.200 We need more of us. Way more of us. We've got hundreds of thousands of men. We need millions

00:00:38.960 of men in this battle to reclaim and restore masculinity. Guys, it is a battle. It's a

00:00:43.760 battle against culture and society at large. It's against the powers that would be, even our elected

00:00:48.760 officials, school board members. It's clear and it's evident that there is, at a minimum,

00:00:54.960 a dismissal of masculinity, but I would say a downright attempt to undermine, erode, diminish,

00:01:04.640 dismiss, and eliminate masculinity altogether. And it's my job to help restore that, to reclaim

00:01:10.480 that to where it needs to be, where we are able to lead ourselves, lead our families, lead our

00:01:14.680 businesses, our communities, and every other facet of life. So today, I'm going to be talking with

00:01:19.380 you about something that I think has the power to be the most important decision that you make.

00:01:26.560 And that's the decision that you make with regards to who you decide to be with for potentially the

00:01:33.200 rest of your life. Now, fortunately, I've made a good decision. I didn't have this all dialed in,

00:01:38.540 what I'm going to share with you today, which is 10 green flags to look for in a woman. 1.00

00:01:41.300 Uh, but I got lucky in a lot of ways and maybe I attracted her, uh, finding the right woman. I 0.72

00:01:47.760 don't know. Um, I think I was more lucky than anything else almost 20 years ago. Uh, but I have

00:01:53.760 identified some things that I've seen in thousands and thousands of men, uh, when they're partnered up

00:01:58.540 with a woman that generally lend to a more successful relationship. Now, I'm not going to be telling you

00:02:04.920 that if you find somebody with all of these characteristics and traits that everything is going

00:02:08.520 to work out perfectly, I can't make that prediction, but I will tell you, if you listen to what I have

00:02:13.620 to share here with regards to green flags to look for, uh, with woman, then I think you can have a, 1.00

00:02:19.580 uh, better chance of having this, not only succeed in your marriage, but have it thrive and,

00:02:24.100 and have this partner in life who you honor and she honors you and you enjoy each other's company

00:02:30.000 and you go take on the world together. Uh, before I get into all of that, just want to make a very

00:02:34.720 quick mention of our friends and show sponsors over at origin USA. As you know, I'm the advocate

00:02:39.760 for American made products and everything they make is 100% made and also sourced in America.

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00:03:26.340 So those are the Delta jeans. Go check them out at originusa.com

00:03:30.240 and use the code order O R D E R to save some money when you do. All right, guys,

00:03:35.100 let's talk about 10 green flags to look for in a woman. Uh, the reason I even started thinking 1.00

00:03:40.340 about this is the other day we were sitting down, my wife and I, and our four children

00:03:44.920 for dinner and she had made burgers. And for whatever reason, the burgers were just

00:03:50.600 exceptionally good. She's a great cook. She, she bakes, she does a lot of food preservation 1.00

00:03:56.280 and canning and cooking and baking and all of that stuff. So she really knows her way

00:04:00.420 around the kitchen. Uh, and, but these burgers were phenomenal. I don't know why they were

00:04:05.620 so good. And I asked her and she's like, I don't know. They're just how I normally cook

00:04:09.520 them. I don't know why they're so good, but I pressed her on it. And she told me something

00:04:12.640 that I didn't know that she saves bacon grease. And then she uses that bacon grease in other meals. 1.00

00:04:19.780 So she'll have bacon and she'll use it in burgers and she'll use it in all kinds of other 1.00

00:04:23.560 products and whatever else she's making. I had no idea. And apparently she's been doing

00:04:27.680 this for years, but I had no idea. So I shared this kind of half jokingly, like look for a woman,

00:04:32.340 uh, who saves bacon grease and uses it in other meals and you'll be fine.

00:04:36.860 And I was blown away with the response that I got. A lot of guys, uh, their women do the same

00:04:42.220 thing. They didn't know her to grandma or their mom did that. And, and although it's kind of a joke,

00:04:47.540 it's, there's also, I think maybe some slight validity to it. You know, if she's that thoughtful

00:04:52.620 or that aware and she's great in the kitchen, then maybe that's something to look for. But, uh, 0.96

00:04:57.100 as I say that a little bit tongue in cheek, there's, I started to think about what other

00:05:00.640 factors or what other features you should be looking for in a woman. Cause most of the time, 1.00

00:05:05.300 what we hear is the red flags, right? The things that you, you don't want and you want to be aware

00:05:10.000 of, and those are important, but what should you be looking for specifically? Because it's important

00:05:14.380 to look for what you don't want, but it's also important to look for what you do want.

00:05:18.200 So what I did over the last couple of days is I really thought about what are some

00:05:21.940 characteristics and features, some behaviors, some thoughts and mindsets that she would need

00:05:27.200 to have that for me would be a good indicator that this is a woman that I potentially would 1.00

00:05:31.820 want to partner with for the rest of my life. This is a major, major decision that you're going

00:05:35.900 to be making. And for those of you who are already married, uh, I want you to ask if, if your wife has

00:05:41.900 these traits and characteristics, and if not, uh, I'm not saying, you know, throw her to the curb or 0.87

00:05:46.500 you need a divorce, but I think that you should be working towards these things. And maybe there's

00:05:50.560 some conversations that need to be had, or maybe she wants to listen to this podcast. And, uh, maybe

00:05:55.360 you want to talk with her about these things in a, in a tactful, respectful way, because I think it's

00:05:59.880 going to set you guys up for success. And that's what I want. I want you guys to thrive. I want your

00:06:03.560 kids to thrive. Uh, and we know that when kids have both of the parents involved and at home and

00:06:07.920 they're honoring each other and love each other, that they have a greater likelihood of success.

00:06:12.440 And so do the husband and wife as well. So let's break this down. Number one, and these are not

00:06:16.560 in any order guys. So, uh, just take it for what it is. Number one, you want to look for somebody

00:06:21.280 who has a great relationship with her parents. And again, like none of these are deal breakers.

00:06:26.080 None of these mean that if, if, if your, your wife or your potential wife doesn't have any of

00:06:31.220 these characteristics, that she's going to be a loser, that you're going to have a divorce.

00:06:34.400 It doesn't mean that. I just think it's going to increase your odds and your rate of success.

00:06:39.900 So take that for what it is. She has a great relationship with her parents. All right.

00:06:43.980 Because if she doesn't have a great relationship with her mom, odds are that she's going to have 1.00

00:06:48.700 less likelihood of knowing how a woman acts and a woman shows up and how a woman behaves. And same 0.99

00:06:54.340 thing with her father. If she doesn't have a great relationship with her father, did she ever have

00:06:59.840 the male role model in her life? Did she ever have a male presence in her life? And then also how does

00:07:04.960 that spill over into the way that she views masculinity and manliness? Because if she had, for example, 0.58

00:07:10.080 an abusive father and she's, she's linked abusiveness with men or masculinity, don't you 0.95

00:07:18.440 think that's probably going to create some sort of a riff in your relationship? Absolutely. So I think

00:07:24.000 it's a green flag. If your wife or your potential wife has a great relationship with her parents,

00:07:30.260 she still talks with her mom. She still talks with her dad. They have activities and things that they

00:07:35.460 do together. They enjoy spending their time together. They respect, they honor. These are

00:07:40.160 all things that I would look for and think, well, that's a pretty good thing is that she has a model 0.98

00:07:45.440 for how a woman shows up for how a woman behaves. She had a woman in her life who taught her and coached 1.00

00:07:51.760 her and led her into being the kind of woman that you would like to partner with. And then also she has, 0.99

00:07:56.520 there's a man in her life who was modeling masculinity and honoring himself as a man and showing up as a

00:08:03.980 father and husband and a worker and employee and business owner and leader in the community and

00:08:09.640 every other facet. So that's a green flag guys. If you can find somebody who has a great relationship

00:08:14.600 with their parents, then I would say that's something to definitely be aware of. All right.

00:08:18.680 Number two, she honors femininity and masculinity. All right. It's very important that she honors 0.83

00:08:25.920 herself as a woman, that she knows that she can be lovely and kind and empathetic and caring,

00:08:34.720 and even tap into that emotional intelligence. Because if you don't, and you have somebody who's

00:08:41.000 wanting to act more masculine, then there's going to be a butting of heads, or there's going to be you

00:08:45.900 who's going to be maybe having to move away from that masculinity and moving more into that feminine 1.00

00:08:50.600 role. So what I'm looking for is somebody in my life who is very feminine. Now that doesn't mean

00:08:55.500 she's delicate. It doesn't mean she's incapable of doing things. I'm going to talk about that here

00:08:59.980 in a little bit. It just means that she likes to be a woman. She, she, she finds value, intrinsic value 0.86

00:09:06.600 in being a woman. And she believes also that there's intrinsic value in men, that masculinity is not

00:09:14.700 inherently evil as much of society would have. You believe that masculinity is inherently positive and

00:09:21.440 constructive and, and, and supportive and even aggressive and dominant at times in order to

00:09:28.880 achieve desired objectives and outcomes. So guys, like if, if you're dating somebody who doesn't

00:09:35.660 honor femininity, you know, if you have one of these extreme feminist women, like that's going to 1.00

00:09:40.420 create some real challenges in your relationship. If you have somebody who's even at the slightest

00:09:45.660 little inkling, a man hater, then of course that's going to create, create a problem in your

00:09:50.460 relationship. And if you think it's bad now, she's on her best behavior. Wait 10 years, wait 15 years,

00:09:57.420 wait 20 years. If you think it's bad now, it only gets worse, especially as she's fed all of this

00:10:02.080 bullshit from society and from elected officials and from schooling that, that tell her, you know, 0.98

00:10:08.700 you don't need a man and you should, you can do everything a man needs to do in order to prove 1.00

00:10:13.020 yourself as a woman. Guys, we're looking for lovely, empathetic, kind, nurturing women.

00:10:21.820 And alternatively, she honors and respects and loves the fact that you're a masculine man who's

00:10:27.400 physical, who's capable, who could assert himself in positive and constructive ways. And if you find a

00:10:34.060 woman who does that, then you're well on your path. All right. Number three, she has friends that you 1.00

00:10:39.140 like, or at least good friends, friends that are good for her. That's probably a better way to say

00:10:43.720 it. Friends who are good for her. Cause you're not going to like every friend she has and they're not

00:10:47.640 going to all like you. And that's, that's completely understandable, but like she has to have friends

00:10:53.160 that are good for her. Cause guys, if you get involved with a woman who has friends who are bad 0.96

00:10:57.800 for their bad influences, they ask her to do dumb shit. They, they, they, they're still out, you know, 0.99

00:11:03.140 at 30, 35, 40 years old, getting wasted and getting drunk and running around and flirting with God, like

00:11:09.940 that's not, that's not going to be conducive for relationship. It really isn't, you know? And so a lot

00:11:14.820 of guys will overlook red flags because they like this woman or they're in love or the sex is great

00:11:19.700 or whatever it might be. And I'm here to tell you that her friends are a big indicator of how she's going

00:11:25.140 to act. So if she has friends who are good for her, then odds are she's going to be a better person

00:11:30.840 because she's around those people. But if she's around friends who are not good for her and are

00:11:36.580 bad influences on her, then she's going to start acting like that. And you're going to have a real

00:11:41.660 problem on your hands because those friends are going to undermine you. They're going to work

00:11:46.320 against you. They're going to create problems for her. They're going to put little rifts in the 1.00

00:11:50.320 relationship. They're going to sow seeds of discontent. And it's not going to be conducive to

00:11:55.060 you having a meaningful and significant relationship with this woman. So it's not that you would look for

00:12:00.040 somebody who doesn't have friends, quite the opposite, actually. I'm going to talk about that

00:12:03.740 here shortly, but they better be friends who are good for her. And if she's not willing to

00:12:09.540 find friends who are good for her, I would strongly consider that as to whether or not you want to get

00:12:14.860 into a relationship with that person. Now, a lot of you guys might say, well, Ryan, that's not fair

00:12:18.480 because she's her own person. And if her friends aren't good, maybe she can be a good influence.

00:12:22.420 Hey, look, if you're willing to make that risk and make that gamble, all the power to you.

00:12:26.820 And I genuinely wish you luck. I do. I wish you luck.

00:12:31.040 But I don't think it's going to pan out well for you. I don't think it's going to play in your

00:12:34.640 favor. And that might be a deal breaker. So consider that. Meet her friends. Get to know

00:12:40.480 her friends. Ask what she's doing. Ask how she's spending her time and who she's spending her time

00:12:43.740 with because that's going to be a large indicator of how she behaves and shows up. All right. 0.98

00:12:47.700 Number four, she has her own hobbies and interests. Guys, she doesn't need to be involved 0.94

00:12:52.040 in everything you do. She doesn't need to like everything that you do. She doesn't need to want to do

00:12:56.060 all the things that you do, but she damn well better have her own hobbies and interests 1.00

00:12:59.680 because I've talked with thousands of men at this point, over six and a half years of doing this,

00:13:03.920 who will admit to me that their wife just kind of stays at home and doesn't really do much. 0.99

00:13:10.200 They don't have things they're interested in. They don't have hobbies. They don't have activities

00:13:13.420 and they just kind of sit at home and it's like exhausting. It's got to be exhausting for a woman, 1.00

00:13:18.640 but it's got to be also exhausting for the men in these relationships because they can't ever get

00:13:22.340 any sort of reprieve or escape from these relationships. So guys, find a woman who has

00:13:27.320 her own hobbies and interests. And I've talked about this at length. Edify her in those things.

00:13:32.140 Uplift her, support her, honor in those things. If she likes beekeeping or race car driving,

00:13:37.020 or she wants to go to the gun range, or she likes to hunt, or she likes to sew,

00:13:41.540 or she likes to cook or bake or paint or take pictures or go on nature walks. I don't know,

00:13:48.860 whatever it is, be supportive of that. You want somebody who has their own hobbies and interests

00:13:54.620 that they're excited about, that they're passionate about, that they're very involved with.

00:13:58.360 Because here's the deal. When a woman has those hobbies and activities and interest, 1.00

00:14:01.860 and she goes out and she engages in those things, she's always going to come back better.

00:14:07.060 Just like you do. When you go to jujitsu or you go on a hike or you go hunting or whatever it is you

00:14:12.880 do, you come back more engaged. You come back more energized, ready to be totally into the relationship

00:14:19.340 because you're rejuvenated. Well, the same goes for her. So if she's not like that, and she's just

00:14:24.960 sitting around at home and doesn't really have her own thing she's interested in, man, that's a problem.

00:14:31.000 So guys, if your wife doesn't have something right now, or your girlfriend or potential wife

00:14:37.560 doesn't have something right now, like you better have a good long discussion about working her

00:14:43.460 towards something that she could be excited about and really start to pursue. So my wife personally

00:14:48.660 does a lot of gardening. I already talked about this, does food preservation, cooking, baking.

00:14:54.240 She has her bees that she's very involved with. She loves her bees. So she does a lot of homesteading 0.86

00:15:00.320 type things. And I'll tell you what, I love it. I love it. I love that she has her own things. I love

00:15:04.640 that. I don't need to be there at her every, every second of every day that she can go out and do her

00:15:10.980 own thing and enjoy life. And that goes into a point number five, which is that she's independent.

00:15:17.220 She's independent. All right. She doesn't need you guys. She wants you, right? If you find a woman 0.99

00:15:24.420 who's just clingy and needy and just, and needs to call you every two minutes when you're gone. Okay.

00:15:29.060 That feels really good. That strokes the ego for a little bit, but at some point that's going to get

00:15:33.360 exhausting. And so what you want to do is you want to find somebody who's independent. Now, of course,

00:15:38.700 this can go over the edge, right? She can be so fiercely independent that anytime you suggest 1.00

00:15:44.520 anything, she's going to take that to the extreme and wonder why you're badging her or that you're 0.99

00:15:50.060 trying to control her. So yeah, it becomes a problem, but then you get into point number two,

00:15:55.100 I made, which is that femininity masculinity dynamic. So, but what you do want is you do want

00:15:59.780 somebody who's independent. They're resilient. They're independent. They don't need you all the

00:16:03.820 time. They can get by on their own. They can do things on their own. They can figure things out.

00:16:08.000 They're resilient and like, you don't need to be there emotionally, uh, physically all the time.

00:16:14.700 Cause again, that's going to get exhausting. Again, I think all of these, these points, and I'm

00:16:19.480 thinking about this now are all very intertwined. You know, she's going to be independent if her

00:16:23.720 mother and father taught her that she's going to be independent, but not so independent that she

00:16:28.160 isn't willing to partner with a man. If she honors femininity and masculinity and the power of having 1.00

00:16:32.000 both. Uh, so they're all very, very connected, but you do want to look for somebody who's

00:16:36.820 independent, uh, not, not dependent on you or anybody else for her own physical, mental,

00:16:43.680 or emotional, uh, wellbeing. So that was number five. So let's get to number six.

00:16:48.480 She despises drama and gossip. You want a very even keel person. Again, this is, 1.00

00:16:54.120 this is the dichotomy here, right? Because we're talking about femininity. And I think women generally 1.00

00:16:58.800 have a higher emotional intelligence. They're able to tap into that emotional feeling side of

00:17:03.140 the equation more readily than I think men are. Uh, but that can go too far, right? Where they're 0.99

00:17:10.540 driven by the way they feel they're driven by their emotions. They're driven by even drama and gossip

00:17:17.580 and all of these little things that people don't need to get involved in. You know, I, I personally

00:17:23.080 despise gossip and drama. And if I start to hear it, whether it's in the, in the work environment or just

00:17:27.780 with my own friends, like I disengage because I don't have time for it. I don't have the mental,

00:17:33.280 emotional, or physical capacity to be able to deal with bullshit. And if she likes that, 1.00

00:17:38.440 if she likes the drama and she, and there are people who do, you know, there are,

00:17:42.560 and she likes that. And she gets wrapped up in that and she gets consumed by it. And it,

00:17:45.880 and it takes up her time and attention and energy, man, exhausting for you. That is going to play on you.

00:17:51.820 So you want somebody who is even keel, somebody who's mature enough not to get down the rabbit 0.99

00:17:57.720 hole of gossip and drama and baggage and bullshit. That's all I'll say on that. Cause you know what 0.98

00:18:04.500 that looks like. You know, what drama looks like it's it, that's a red flag drama is, but if you

00:18:09.500 have somebody who doesn't enjoy that and they, they stay away from it, then you're going to have

00:18:13.800 a better time. Uh, number seven, her goals are aligned with yours guys. Her goals are aligned

00:18:21.900 with yours. And inevitably I'll have people say, you know, everybody has different goals and desires.

00:18:27.520 And I get that, you know, my wife, she doesn't have the same goals that I do, but our goals are

00:18:33.320 aligned, right? Like the things that she does around the house and at home to make this house a

00:18:37.960 home are not my own personal goals. Those are her personal goals, but they're very much in alignment

00:18:42.700 with mine. My desire to go out into the workforce and provide and do something special here with

00:18:47.800 order of man aren't necessarily her goals and desires, but they're very much aligned with hers

00:18:52.420 because as I do my work, she's able to do her work and they're complimentary. They're aligned.

00:18:57.020 That's what I mean. When I say they're aligned, they're not the same, but they're moving in the

00:19:01.800 same direction. So you need to start talking about these things. And I'll tell you, there are millions

00:19:05.940 and millions of men out there who aren't having these kinds of conversations, especially when they're

00:19:10.380 vetting. And I'm using that term deliberately. It may sound a little harsh if you've never heard

00:19:15.020 it like that before, but you, when you're dating a woman and you're wanting to get serious with

00:19:18.920 somebody and you're wanting to even commit to this person for a lifetime, you better vet her.

00:19:24.220 All right. And if you're, if you're not, and she better vet you too, by the way, okay,

00:19:28.780 this goes both ways. But if, if you're not having the conversations about what do you want to do in

00:19:35.440 your, your life? Do you want a career? Do you want kids? Do you want to stay at home? Do you want to be in

00:19:40.020 the workforce? Do you want to live on the East coast? Do you want to live on the West coast?

00:19:43.720 Like these are all critical conversations. And by the way, any of them can be deal breakers.

00:19:48.980 And the only person that gets to determine what's a deal breaker and what isn't is you,

00:19:53.660 you get to decide that not anybody else. So you better start talking with her about these serious

00:19:59.340 things. What does she want out of life? What does she hope to accomplish? Because if you don't talk

00:20:03.720 about it, you might luck out and, and find somebody who does have aligned goals, uh, or you might find

00:20:10.960 somebody whose goals are at direct odds with what you want to have in your life. You know, for example,

00:20:16.380 if you want five kids and she doesn't want children at all, how's that going to work? I mean, one of you

00:20:23.260 is going to have to sacrifice in that, right? Either she's going to sacrifice and have two or three or 1.00

00:20:27.980 four or five kids, or you're going to sacrifice and you're not going to have any. And that's a problem,

00:20:33.780 right? Because then there's animosity, there's bitterness, there's resentment because you went

00:20:39.920 along with something she wanted or vice versa. And then life is harder and you hate each other. You

00:20:44.860 despise each other because you blame the other person for not being able to accomplish your goals

00:20:50.980 and desires and objectives. So make sure that your goals are aligned guys. And if they're not,

00:20:56.860 again, might be a deal breaker. I can't tell you whether or not it is, but I'm giving you permission

00:21:02.600 as if you needed it from me, that any of these could be deal breakers. And you need to have these

00:21:06.640 serious conversations and think long and hard about the way that the rest of your life is going to go.

00:21:11.480 All right. Number eight, this one's going to fire some people up, but she needs to be politically 1.00

00:21:15.920 and spiritually aligned with you. Now, can it work again? This, when I was talking about the fact

00:21:21.360 that she had a great relationship with her parents, can it work if she doesn't? Yeah, I think it can.

00:21:25.280 I think that if she's not aligned politically or spiritually with you, that it probably can work.

00:21:30.600 But I would say that's the exception, not the rule. Because these are charged topics,

00:21:37.020 especially politics in today's world and climate. And if she's diametrically opposed to you when it 0.80

00:21:43.440 comes to politics and spirituality, how's that going to work? Now, you might be of a different

00:21:51.720 political party or affiliation. You might be a different denomination when it comes to your

00:21:57.000 spirituality. Yeah, sure. But like, if at the root of the way you believe is completely opposite,

00:22:08.280 how's that going to work? Especially when you guys bring kids into the world, because now

00:22:12.040 your decisions and her decisions are going to be impacting those kids. And can you imagine trying

00:22:17.160 to raise a child politically or spiritually to have some of these beliefs about culture and society

00:22:23.900 and religion, and she's the opposite of that or vice versa? Like, again, resentment, contention,

00:22:32.260 animosity, bitterness, which all leads to divorce. So not to mention the headache. And look, let's talk

00:22:40.680 about politics for a minute. I don't even care what side of the aisle you're on. If you're more

00:22:45.660 conservative and she's more left-leaning or liberal, that's going to be annoying for both of you. 1.00

00:22:54.860 And I would say, if you look at the spectrum of whether it's spirituality or politics, the greater

00:23:00.260 the divide, like the further right you are, left you are, and right or left she is, the greater the

00:23:06.180 divide there, the more challenging it's going to be. But you better take it into consideration

00:23:11.380 that she's politically, culturally even, and spiritually aligned with you. And if she's not,

00:23:18.620 I kind of think you're, you're gambling. You're, you're just kind of rolling the dice and hopefully

00:23:22.680 it'll work out. And that's not a great strategy for long-term success. Number nine, guys, she honors

00:23:27.520 herself. She honors herself. She honors her word. She honors her body by taking care of it. 0.70

00:23:35.080 She, she, again, this goes back to the point number two about honoring femininity. She loves 0.93

00:23:40.740 being a woman so much so that she works on it. She tries to improve in that department. She tries 0.51

00:23:46.580 to make herself better. That goes to point number four. She has her own hobbies and interests,

00:23:50.540 but guys, if you find somebody who doesn't honor herself mentally, physically, emotionally,

00:23:57.900 spiritually, that's not good. That is not good at all. So you want somebody who's proud of herself,

00:24:04.440 who honors herself, who takes care of herself, who spends time improving and getting better

00:24:11.260 and believing that they had, have real value to add. A lot of, a lot of guys I talk with have spouses

00:24:17.380 who have mental illness. Some, some even I've heard, you know, bipolar postpartum is a big deal

00:24:24.780 as you start to have kids. And I'm not saying, you know, well, I'll say it this way. A lot of these

00:24:30.320 guys kind of get into that after the fact. And if you've already committed, then I think you really,

00:24:34.260 owe it to her to honor her and honor the commitments and values you've made. But if you start to see

00:24:39.020 some of this stuff ahead of time, you really have to ask yourself, is this somebody I want to be

00:24:44.600 with? Like if she doesn't take care of herself, she treats her body horribly. She has a bad past. 1.00

00:24:52.340 Again, gambling, could it work? Maybe, you know, maybe she changes and people do, you know, people 0.95

00:24:57.360 do change and they get better and they improve or they come across information or they find, find

00:25:00.960 somebody in their life that gets them on the track, but you're gambling and I wouldn't gamble

00:25:05.480 with this. So find somebody who honors herself, who treats herself right, who believes she's valuable

00:25:12.240 and you're going to have a better time of it. All right. And the last one here, guys, this is,

00:25:16.620 this is so important. So important is that she's financially responsible.

00:25:21.820 She has, she has to be financially responsible guys. If she's not financially responsible,

00:25:30.300 oh my gosh, can you imagine what life is going to look like every time you have to talk about money

00:25:35.000 and she comes to the relationship with 50, 60, 80, a hundred thousand dollars worth of debt.

00:25:40.180 She spends like it's going out of style or the world's going to end and, and she's broke and she 0.98

00:25:44.760 has the mindset of poverty. Like you're not going to get ahead in life.

00:25:48.800 They're not. And she doesn't need to have everything dialed in with your finances. You

00:25:54.540 probably don't, but she needs to be at least responsible about it so that you guys can make 0.99

00:26:00.600 decisions together about how you're going to spend your, your money and your resources.

00:26:05.120 Look for somebody who's financially responsible. And you can tell, I mean, if you're going to start

00:26:09.860 dating a woman and vetting this woman to potentially ask her to marry you, then I think the least you

00:26:16.020 should be doing is asking about her, not only the other things I talked about here, but also

00:26:20.500 asking about how she handles money and what she believes about money and how much money she wants

00:26:24.660 to make and how much money you think they need. And how do you feel about spending? Like ask these

00:26:30.400 questions. You can start uncovering a lot of this stuff very, very quickly. And you should,

00:26:35.160 and you should. So guys, I know this one today was geared more towards our, our single brothers

00:26:40.360 or those who maybe are in a relationship and thinking about taking this to the next level.

00:26:44.640 But I'll also say this, if you're already committed to a woman, you've already asked 0.82

00:26:48.600 her to marry you. You need to honor that commitment and you need to really work towards ensuring that

00:26:54.180 she's got these points dialed in. And again, if you've already made this commitment, it's not a

00:26:59.320 deal breaker, but you need to be working towards ensuring that she has these green flags so that 0.99

00:27:05.380 your life can get better and her life can get better and your kids' lives can get better and

00:27:10.300 everybody can improve because you guys are together. She's reasonable. She's got these green flags.

00:27:15.780 Maybe I'll talk about men's green flags as well. Cause I know we have some female listeners too. 1.00

00:27:20.980 I don't, I don't want this to come across as me, you know, going after or picking on women or

00:27:27.080 saying that you should leave. If a woman doesn't have all of these, isn't able to check all these off 1.00

00:27:31.300 the list. I don't want it to come across as this, but guys, my job is to give you the tools and

00:27:36.200 resources and conversations that you need to succeed in life. And who you choose to marry

00:27:41.100 and who you choose to partner with is a huge, huge component of that. And so it's very important

00:27:45.760 that I give you this information, even at risk of offending some people because they don't hit

00:27:50.940 all these boxes. Now you're going to let me know how you feel and you're going to give me some feedback.

00:27:54.840 Maybe I missed some things, maybe some additional green flags need to be on this list,

00:27:58.460 or maybe you think I'm off on one of these things. And if that's the case, cool. Let's talk

00:28:01.980 about it. I'm always open for discussion if it's done reasonably and respectfully. And if it's not

00:28:07.040 going to be, then I'm just not interested. So let's recap here. Number one, again, not any order.

00:28:11.700 Number one, I guess even the prerequisite is that, as I said earlier, she saves bacon grease for future 1.00

00:28:16.440 meals, but outside of that, number one, great relationship with her parents. That's a green flag.

00:28:22.500 Number two, she honors femininity and also masculinity. Number three,

00:28:26.840 she has friends that you like, or I think I changed that one, not friends that you like,

00:28:31.660 friends that are good for her. That's what I said. Friends that are good for her. Number four,

00:28:35.620 she has her own hobbies and interests. Number five, she's independent. Number six,

00:28:41.580 she despises drama and gossip. Number seven, her goals are aligned with your goals. Number eight,

00:28:47.960 she's aligned politically and spiritually. Also, I'd say culturally as well, because there's a lot of

00:28:53.900 cultural issues that people might differ on as well. Number nine, she honors herself by taking

00:29:00.220 care of herself mentally, physically, emotionally, et cetera. And number 10, she's financially

00:29:04.720 responsible. That isn't exhaustive. And I'm not here to tell you that if she hits all of those boxes,

00:29:10.460 that she is absolutely going to be the one to work everything out with. And all your real wildest

00:29:16.120 dreams will come true. And I'm also not saying that if she doesn't hit all of these, that she's going

00:29:20.040 to be a horrible person and no good for you. And it's bound for divorce. I'm just saying,

00:29:24.100 these are green flags. These are things to consider. These are conversations you need to

00:29:27.920 have. These are topics you need to discuss and you need to be aware of these things so that you

00:29:32.400 have the best odds of success in your relationship and in your life. All right, you guys, there are the

00:29:40.640 10 green flags to look for in a woman. Guys, we'll be back next week. Until then, go out there, 1.00

00:29:45.320 take action and become the man you are meant to be. Thank you for listening to the Order of Man

00:29:50.040 podcast. You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be.

00:29:55.120 We invite you to join the order at orderofman.com.

Order of Man - November 19, 2021

10 Green Flags to Look For in a Woman ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

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