Order of Man - 10 Strategies for Forging Mental Fortitude ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest, embrace your fears, and boldly chart

00:00:05.000 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time, every time.

00:00:10.440 You are not easily deterred or defeated, rugged, resilient, strong. This is your life. This is who

00:00:17.240 you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,

00:00:22.800 you can call yourself a man. Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Michler,

00:00:27.740 and I am the host and the founder of this podcast and the movement that is Order of Man. Whether

00:00:32.600 you're here for the first time or been with us for years now, I want to welcome you. This is a

00:00:38.580 podcast designed to give you the conversations and tools and resources you need to be more equipped

00:00:45.080 in your life as a husband, a father, a business owner, a community leader, whatever facet of life

00:00:51.200 you're showing up as. And we've had some incredible, incredible guests over the past several weeks,

00:00:56.160 and we will continue to have those incredible guests as well. So not a whole lot going on today.

00:01:02.760 I just want to get right into the topic because it is a very, very important one. We're going to

00:01:09.200 talk about forging mental fortitude. Before I get into that, I do want to make a very,

00:01:15.140 very quick mention of our show sponsors origin main. Now you guys have heard me talk about these

00:01:20.800 guys for a very long time. That's because they're good friends, but not only that, they make some

00:01:25.740 incredible products and their story is amazing. Everything that they make is sourced in and made

00:01:32.660 in America. In fact, it's just made down the road. I live about 15 minutes tops from the origin factory.

00:01:39.220 I know these guys, well, they make geese and rash guards, but they make their boots.

00:01:44.580 They make their denim. They make the supplemental lineup with Jocko. So they've got a ton going on and

00:01:50.880 we've got a discount for you. In fact, I think they have some black Friday sales going on as well,

00:01:56.580 but you can use the discount too, which is order. That is the code O R D E R at checkout. And you'll

00:02:03.180 get a discount on everything they have over there. I would highly encourage, especially if you're

00:02:08.740 looking for a gift to look into their denim and also look into their new boot lineup. You will not

00:02:14.620 be disappointed. I've got both on, in fact, right now, again, that's origin, Maine, Maine is in the

00:02:20.740 state, Maine origin, Maine.com and use the code order at checkout guys. Let's talk about forging

00:02:28.080 mental fortitude. Now I'm sure that, you know, quite a few people who seem to crumble at the slightest

00:02:35.140 sign of challenge and hardship and adversity. And all of us are going to face difficult challenges in

00:02:41.040 our lives. This could be a health situations, a death in the family, the loss of a job, a natural

00:02:48.140 disaster, an emergency, a layoff, so many different things that are bound to happen us on, on potentially

00:02:54.540 a daily basis, but certainly in our life and your ability to be tough and strong mentally and

00:03:00.640 emotionally is going to determine a lot of your level of success and not only your level of success,

00:03:06.580 but the level of success for the people that you have responsibility for. These are coworkers,

00:03:11.040 and colleagues. It's your wife and your children. It's people that you're mentoring or coaching.

00:03:15.780 And so your responsibility to be mentally tough and gritty and have some resolve is very, very

00:03:22.680 important. Needless to say. So what I thought I'd do with you today here is share with you four

00:03:27.720 mindsets of mental fortitude, and then talk with you about 10 specific skillsets that I have identified

00:03:34.400 and begun to use in my life, some longer than others. And I can tell you through experience that each

00:03:40.260 one of these, uh, these, these skillsets has really, really improved my ability to be stronger as I

00:03:48.220 inevitably face what life has to throw at me. Uh, the reason I came up with this and where this

00:03:53.060 information came from is last week, I had the opportunity to go to present to the air force one

00:03:58.360 crew and see air force one, which was an incredible, incredible experience. And part of that was, uh, an

00:04:04.860 experience that I got to participate in because I have developed these strategies for mental fortitude

00:04:10.380 and have put me in the position where I'm able to have opportunities like that. So, uh, this is

00:04:15.860 formatted and tweaked and changed a little bit from that presentation so I could deliver it to you and

00:04:20.540 hopefully it helps you and improve your life. So let's just jump right into it. Again, we're going to

00:04:24.280 talk about the mindsets first. Number one, the first mindset is understanding that mental fortitude

00:04:29.220 is a learned skill. I used to believe that the guys who were the toughest and the strongest and

00:04:36.380 had this mental resolve, uh, that I admired and respected in other individuals. We're just born

00:04:41.920 with that. And what I've learned through the course of podcasting over nearly five years now is that

00:04:48.060 the men that I've had, and these are entrepreneurs and scholars and athletes and warriors, and the most

00:04:54.160 successful men on the planet weren't always that way. They created that in themselves.

00:04:59.020 They learned these skillsets and they developed an element of mental fortitude over a very long

00:05:05.260 and sustained period of time. If you believe that mental fortitude is just some gift that some men

00:05:11.220 inherently have, then you dismiss the work required to develop mental fortitude in your life and

00:05:17.540 therefore you to have more of it than you currently have. If you believe it's just bestowed on certain

00:05:23.400 people, then that dismisses your need, uh, to develop it in your own life. So understand that

00:05:30.040 first and foremost, it is a learned skill. It can be developed. It should be developed and it's your

00:05:34.760 responsibility and obligation to do it. Number two is you are either moving towards or moving away

00:05:41.460 mental from mental fortitude. Uh, you don't live in a vacuum. You don't live in an environment where

00:05:46.880 the things that you say and do and the way you behave and show up and interact with your environment

00:05:51.680 and other people don't matter. Everything that you do matters. The way you do things, the way you

00:05:56.740 interact, the, the, the way that you communicate with people. And all of those actions are either

00:06:02.680 moving you away from, or they're moving you towards being stronger and tougher. And so you ought to

00:06:08.340 consider the way that your actions are speaking and what they're telling you and how you're using,

00:06:15.540 uh, your behavior patterns to create and formulate pathways in your brain, which ultimately produce

00:06:22.940 the thoughts that you have and the actions that you take. You are either moving away or towards

00:06:27.920 mental toughness. Number three, that mental toughness is a perishable skill. It's, it's, it goes away.

00:06:35.860 It's not like riding a bike where you, you learn how to ride a bike and then you can jump right back

00:06:40.940 on after being off of a bike for 20 years and just instantly remember it goes away. And if you

00:06:46.780 aren't doing things on a daily basis, which we're going to talk about when we get to skill sets,

00:06:50.560 but if you weren't doing things on a daily basis that help you be stronger mentally and emotionally,

00:06:57.260 then you are getting weaker by default. And what maybe shouldn't have derailed you could possibly

00:07:04.620 derail you if you aren't intentional and deliberate and active in pursuing, becoming mentally stronger.

00:07:11.860 The fourth mindset is that mental fortitude is relative. There's no point in life where you get

00:07:19.600 to a stage and you get to just check it off the box and say, or congratulate yourself that you are now

00:07:26.060 mentally strong and there's nothing else you need to do. It's kind of like the old, uh, the potential,

00:07:31.660 the reaching your full potential argument. I mean, you can't reach your full potential.

00:07:36.980 It's impossible. I don't know of one single individual who's ever reached their full potential

00:07:41.140 in life and there never will be because it's a moving target. Once you reach what you thought

00:07:46.100 was your full potential, you open yourself up and you unlock yourself to new opportunities and new

00:07:51.780 experiences that make that potential even greater for you to do bigger and better things. So it's

00:07:57.560 relative. This is also the same reason why if you're in a leadership position, you'd be,

00:08:01.840 you ought to be very, very careful of comparing, uh, your employees or kids, their level of toughness

00:08:08.400 to another. That's not really your goal. When it comes to leadership, your goal, when it comes to

00:08:13.140 leadership is sure to inspire and motivate and to teach your people what is possible, but it's also

00:08:18.480 to help them be tougher than they were yesterday, not necessarily tougher than the guy next to them.

00:08:24.000 Granted, there is an element of using what other people are doing as a framework for inspiration and

00:08:30.400 motivation, but you can't tell another individual that they're being tough or weak. All you can hope

00:08:36.440 to accomplish and work towards accomplishing is helping that individual be just a bit more tough

00:08:42.900 than they were yesterday. So those are the mindsets. Again, it's a learned skill. Number two is that

00:08:49.220 each of your actions on a daily basis are moving you away or towards forging mental fortitude.

00:08:55.140 Number three, it's a perishable skill. It will go away if you don't exercise it. And number four is

00:09:00.560 that mental fortitude is all relative and you can continue to grow and expand on it. So let's get into

00:09:05.860 the skillsets. I know I'm going through this pretty quickly. Um, but there's so much here to unpack

00:09:10.860 and I don't really want to overlook anything, but I want to get it all in. And ultimately, and hopefully

00:09:16.200 you guys will be taking notes and you'll be incorporating these skillsets into your life.

00:09:20.380 So number one, focus on the controllable. It is amazing to me how many men on a daily basis,

00:09:27.220 focus on the things that are completely beyond their control. They get upset about the weather

00:09:32.780 and they get upset about the way other people are responding and they get upset about things that

00:09:36.640 they can't do anything about. And I used to be the same way. And I still do to some degree.

00:09:41.580 It's a difficult thing to overcome, but it's, it's not worth getting wrapped up in things that

00:09:47.940 you can't control. The problem with doing that is that if you are focused and, and you're,

00:09:53.560 you're spending energy and time and resources and money and all of these other things towards

00:09:59.620 things that are uncontrollable, then you inevitably take that away from things that are, and you're

00:10:04.920 being inefficient and you're being ineffective and you're not directing your resources in the

00:10:10.260 best possible way. So ask yourself, is this something I can do something about? If the

00:10:16.920 answer is yes, then maybe you ought to consider pouring some resources into that. If the answer

00:10:21.880 is no, then I would ask what is something I can control? What is something I can do and

00:10:28.600 spend your energy resources, attention, et cetera, on that thing. Number two, surround yourself

00:10:34.540 with mentally strong people. I told you rule number four, mindset number four was that a mental

00:10:40.180 fortitude is relative. So if you surround yourself with mentally weak people, then you will begin to

00:10:46.900 believe that that's how you're supposed to operate. You it's been said you are the average of your five 0.94

00:10:51.780 friends that I hold think holds pretty true. If the people you're around are, are weak and cowardly 0.99

00:10:58.680 and pathetic and easily flustered and triggered, then that's probably a pretty good indicator that you 1.00

00:11:04.640 will likely be like that as well. If you want to be tougher, stronger, grittier, more resilient, 0.99

00:11:11.280 then find those individuals in your life. The order of man podcast and the videos that you're watching

00:11:17.060 on YouTube have been an instrumental part of my growth because I've been able to surround myself

00:11:22.020 with again, entrepreneurs, athletes, scholars, warriors, successful men that are of high caliber and

00:11:29.240 that are strong mentally and emotionally. And short of saying osmosis, it's certainly not that,

00:11:35.560 uh, but it does wear off and it does rub off and you are comparing yourself to how these guys are

00:11:41.620 performing. This is the reason that we started our exclusive brotherhood, the iron council, because we

00:11:46.760 recognize that we are stronger together. It's the, the proverb that iron sharpens iron, right? If you

00:11:54.060 want to be tougher, then you're going to put yourself around tougher men. And inevitably you will learn from

00:11:58.920 them. You will grow from them. You will be challenged by them. And you will do one of two things. You will

00:12:03.900 cower and remove yourself from that circumstance because you're too weak to handle it. Or you will

00:12:09.680 show some resolve and you will get stronger in your mind and work towards being a mentally tougher

00:12:16.560 individual. Number three, reframe your fear. A lot of people, a lot of guys, uh, tend to believe that

00:12:24.160 emotions are bad and emotions aren't bad. If, if they weren't there to serve us in some capacity,

00:12:30.740 we would not have developed the emotions that we display. So anger and fear and greed and jealousy

00:12:39.420 and all of these, uh, emotions that we would consider negative. They're not negative. They're

00:12:44.620 simply teaching you something. So your emotions, you don't need to hide those. You don't need to suppress

00:12:49.740 those. That's not what anybody's asking you to do. But what I would highly encourage you to do is to

00:12:55.140 understand what those emotions are telling you. And then you can reframe the fear and reframe the

00:13:02.340 rest of the emotions from something that's bad and scary to something that is trying to teach you

00:13:07.000 something. And that's how I look at emotions. I consider it like a, uh, a gauge on the dashboard.

00:13:13.460 If you look at your dashboard of your vehicle and you look at all the gauges and you look at the,

00:13:17.760 the, the gas gauge and you look at the odometer and the speedometer, you look at all these things,

00:13:22.080 it's telling you different things. It's giving you different feedback so that you can react

00:13:26.000 accordingly. And that's all your emotions are doing. You don't need to get upset about them.

00:13:30.420 You don't need to freak out about it. If you're mad or glad or happy or sad or angry or whatever it

00:13:35.500 is, then just use it as an indicator to improve your life. Now with regards to fear, some people

00:13:41.420 believe that fear is a bad thing and that if you're afraid, you should just run away from that thing.

00:13:45.640 And it sounds silly, but it's either subconscious, uh, that, or maybe it's a conscious decision that

00:13:51.480 they run away from it. But you've got to ask yourself, if you are feeling some sort of fear,

00:13:57.320 you really ought to ask, is this dangerous? Like, am I going to put myself in danger or am I just going

00:14:05.100 to put myself in some discomfort? And you have to be able to distinguish between the two because if

00:14:10.840 it's dangerous, then okay, there's a case to be made that you ought to avoid doing that thing.

00:14:14.940 But if it's simply going to be uncomfortable for you, then there's a case to be made that you ought

00:14:20.420 to step into that thing. And you want to do that because the more that we do of things that are

00:14:25.100 uncomfortable, the more familiar they become and the more familiar they become. And the more we engage

00:14:29.760 in those things, the more competent we become. And the more competent we become in those things,

00:14:33.880 the more confidence that we develop, which breeds more courage and competence. And it's this big

00:14:39.520 cycle. So fear isn't a bad thing. And it's not something to be afraid of. It's not something

00:14:45.560 to run away from. It's something to be embraced and something to learn from. Now, once you've

00:14:50.500 reframed the fear from being a bad thing to being an indicator for you, you'd move on to step number

00:14:55.860 four, which is doing the things that scare you, whether that's speaking in public or asking a woman on a

00:15:02.760 date or asking for a raise or securing a promotion or starting a business. There's probably a laundry

00:15:08.940 list of things that you want to do that you haven't done. And if you're being truthful,

00:15:13.100 the reason you haven't done them is because you're scared to do those things. And the sooner you can

00:15:18.900 embrace that and you can start working towards those things and move into the fear and move into

00:15:24.700 the things that scare you, a couple of things are going to happen. One, you're going to realize that

00:15:29.280 maybe it's not as scary as you thought it was, and you'll be able to move past what that fear was.

00:15:34.540 The other thing that will happen is that you, again, will make yourself more competent and you

00:15:40.300 will become familiar with it. And then it won't be as scary. And then it's all relative. And now

00:15:45.040 you can push yourself into greater and, and, and more pressing issues that you haven't addressed

00:15:50.180 before. And I, and I talked about this on Instagram not long ago. And I said, if you want

00:15:54.680 to have level 10 success, you need to be able to deal with level 10 problems. This is the reason

00:16:01.580 that people who win the lottery, they can't keep their money. The reason they can't keep their

00:16:06.600 money is because they didn't earn the money in the first place. And more accurately, they didn't

00:16:10.820 develop the skillset they needed to acquire, let alone keep that level of wealth. So you've got to

00:16:16.580 constantly be moving yourself from level one problems, the level two problems, the level three

00:16:21.660 problems, the level four problems, because the more that you solve those types of problems,

00:16:26.060 the more you elevate yourself in the process, whether it's relationally or spiritually or

00:16:31.060 financially or physically, same thing with lifting weights. If you can lift a 200 pounds,

00:16:37.480 if you keep putting yourself under that pressure, eventually you're going to be able to lift two

00:16:42.200 10, two 20, two 30, two 50, 300, because you're able to solve the problem that is 200 pounds,

00:16:48.800 two 10, et cetera. So do those things that scare you. Number five is to detach yourself and not

00:16:55.560 take anything personally. If you thought about or knew how often or how little people thought about

00:17:03.340 you, I think a lot of people would be surprised. But I think you'd probably do a little bit more

00:17:08.520 than you have in the past. Most people seem to be worried about the judgment of others. They're

00:17:13.220 worried about what other people will think and, and how they'll judge them or if they'll be

00:17:17.580 ostracized from the group and if they'll be mocked or ridiculed. And yeah, you're going to

00:17:22.880 experience some of that. When you put yourself out into the world, uh, you're going to experience

00:17:27.340 that. But people think so little of you because they have their own problems to deal with.

00:17:32.040 And anybody who takes the time to bash on you or beat you up over something that you're doing

00:17:36.320 probably isn't a qualified source of concern or frustration. Anyways, I mean, I have to deal with

00:17:43.080 this on a daily basis. You know, there's 95 to 99% of the feedback and engagement that we get is

00:17:50.100 positive. And then there's always the one to 2% of the people who don't like me or don't like the

00:17:54.880 message or don't like the way I'm communicating it or don't like the hat or don't like the beard or

00:17:58.620 don't like whatever. And I've learned not to take that stuff personally because what people say about

00:18:04.740 me actually says more about them than it ever does me. So I asked myself is when I'm, when I'm

00:18:12.460 trying to detach from being upset or being offended, I asked myself two simple questions. Number one

00:18:19.180 is the source of criticism or feedback qualified because if it's qualified, I probably ought to

00:18:25.220 consider it. There's the notion that there's, you know, zero F's given that I'm not going to care

00:18:29.300 what anybody else thinks. That to me is arrogant. In fact, it's silly and it's not going to help you

00:18:34.500 improve your life. If you're not worried about what high achievers think of you and what you can

00:18:41.000 learn from them. I think that's, there's value in that. Um, so ask yourself again, number one,

00:18:47.940 is it qualified? If it's not, let it, let it ride, let it slide. It's not a big deal. If it is

00:18:53.900 move to question number two, which is it true? Is it true? Number one, is it qualified? Number two,

00:19:00.500 is it true? I tend to just assume that people aren't great at communication.

00:19:09.020 Well, number one, they don't like communicating, which means that number two, they're not great,

00:19:14.080 great at it. They haven't practiced it enough. And so even though the delivery of feedback or

00:19:19.920 criticism may be a little bit harsh, just understand, or even decide that, although it

00:19:25.900 might be true that some people just haven't communicated effectively. And then I can look

00:19:29.780 at feedback objectively. And that's the goal is to look at it as objectively as possible,

00:19:34.920 realize that it's probably not directed at you. And there's something that can be learned from it

00:19:40.320 if it's qualified and if it's true. So that was number five is detaching yourself and not taking

00:19:46.300 anything personally. If you want to learn more on that, by the way, you can read a book called the

00:19:50.780 four agreements, uh, by Don Miguel Ruiz. And he talks about it as the second agreement is not taking

00:19:58.180 anything personally. All right. Number six is anticipating adversity and creating and building

00:20:05.460 in contingencies. If you can understand and anticipate that there's going to be things

00:20:10.960 wrong, that things are going to happen, that problems are going to arise, then you're going

00:20:15.800 to be tougher. And you're adequately going to prepare yourself for those unforeseen unexpected

00:20:20.640 events. Now you're not going to be able to adequately prepare exactly for what those things are,

00:20:25.640 but you can guess, you can anticipate, you can, you can make calculated and educated decisions

00:20:32.300 based on what's happened in the past. You can ask other people who have been in these scenarios,

00:20:36.400 what they've dealt with, what obstacles and trials and hurdles they've had to overcome.

00:20:41.100 And the more you do that, the better equipped you are to overcome the inevitable challenges that

00:20:47.240 will be faced as you level up from one to two to three to 10 and so on. Anticipate those

00:20:52.800 adversities and build in the contingencies. When you think, Hey, this might go wrong,

00:20:57.520 build in a second plan for it. And I'm not saying you have to take that plan. I'm not having

00:21:01.620 saying that you should invest all your energy in that plan, but think about what could go wrong.

00:21:07.000 Companies spend millions and millions of dollars on the concept of red teaming. So what they'll do

00:21:12.460 is they'll take a project or an idea or something that they're working on and they'll get it to the

00:21:18.020 degree that they think they can put it out there into the world. And they'll have a department or

00:21:22.340 a team come in and try to blow the thing up. Like literally try to go in there and destroy it

00:21:29.200 or throw kinks in the system or mess with it in some way in order to expose those vulnerabilities.

00:21:36.080 And that's not fun. It requires effort and it requires killing your sacred cow to a degree,

00:21:42.460 because a lot of us tend to believe that the things that we create are perfect. They're not,

00:21:46.580 but if we can be real about that and try to poke holes in what we create or the message that we put

00:21:52.540 out into the world, we're going to adequately prepare ourselves for, uh, the challenges that we're going

00:21:57.640 to face and the problems that are going to arise. Number seven, live with uncompromising standards

00:22:05.020 and values. The results that you've produced in your life are a result of the data points that

00:22:14.880 you're operating by. The data points you're operating by are your experiences, your lessons,

00:22:21.020 your beliefs, your conditioning, your programming from your parents and your teachers and from your

00:22:28.660 friends and colleagues and everything that you've come into contact with. And you're making your

00:22:33.280 decisions in the way that you're thinking is based off of the data that it's using your data. So what you

00:22:41.920 need to learn to do, if you want to produce a different result, if you want to be tougher in your life

00:22:47.040 is to use different data or add new variables to the equation. And that's a standard operating

00:22:53.760 system or a standard operating procedure. If you haven't taken the time to really identify

00:22:59.540 and articulate the way that you're going to show up, uh, the way that you're going to live your life,

00:23:05.240 then you're going to sell yourself short and you're going to expose yourself to risk. That doesn't

00:23:10.700 need to be there. I'll give you an example. I talk with a lot of guys who have stepped out on their

00:23:15.680 wife. And when I asked them, why did you do that? Inevitably I hear something like I lost myself in

00:23:23.540 the moment. Uh, I got carried away. Uh, I didn't, I didn't realize it until it was too late. Well,

00:23:29.320 what this means is they weren't thinking about these decisions beforehand, because if they knew who they

00:23:34.180 were beforehand, they would be less likely to make that decision in the heat of the moment. So you have

00:23:40.000 to make decisions before you let your emotions and the situation wrap you up and entangle in its,

00:23:46.420 in its web, make those decisions. Now over here on this wall, over the side of me, I have my code of

00:23:52.840 conduct that I wrote and illustrated in the book, uh, sovereignty, the battle for the hearts and minds

00:23:57.600 of men. You can look in that book or you can create your own code of conduct. I also have another

00:24:02.680 code of conduct right next to it that my two oldest sons and I wrote, uh, at one of our events,

00:24:09.380 we wrote it together and it's handwritten. They helped me with it. And I've got it framed there

00:24:13.880 with Barnwood from where that event was. And, uh, that's a code that we live by. And we know what

00:24:20.280 the standard is. We actually hold each other to that expectation and that standard. And when we fall

00:24:26.280 short of it, cause we will, cause we're human, we make mistakes, then we fix it. And it should be

00:24:32.120 uncomfortable by the way, when you're trying to fix things, when you mess up on a standard and

00:24:36.000 you're trying to fix it, it, it should be uncomfortable. It should be painful to a degree,

00:24:40.380 because if it's not, you're probably going to fall into the same traps that you do over and over and

00:24:44.760 over again. But if it's painful and uncomfortable, when you try to fix it good, maybe next time you

00:24:50.740 won't do it again. So number seven, again, uncompromising standards and values, something to live by.

00:24:56.000 Number eight, creating small wins consistently. It's not enough to be good.

00:25:02.280 Every once in a while, doing something once a week is probably not going to, going to work out well,

00:25:08.080 or at least not going to help you improve. You've got to be disciplined. You've got to create those

00:25:12.580 small wins consistently day in and day out. You've got to do those activities as often as you possibly

00:25:18.680 can. I use jujitsu as an example. Uh, you know, I've been busy over the past three weeks or so,

00:25:24.540 and I've made up all kinds of reasons and excuses as to why I can't be at class and why I can't do it.

00:25:29.640 And they sound really legitimate, but if I'm looking at it objectively, they're not.

00:25:33.380 And my coach, Pete Roberts, he's with origin. I talked about them earlier. Uh, he said, Ryan,

00:25:39.280 you can't get good by doing this once a week. You have to be more consistent with it. And it's true,

00:25:44.600 not just true of jujitsu, but it's true with podcasting. It's true with learning how to speak

00:25:49.600 in public. It's true with communicating with your, with your spouse or your kids or your employees.

00:25:55.180 If you want to get good at it, you have to do it consistently. And that consistency is what's

00:26:00.660 going to build up the, the armor or the immunities to what we're bound to face in life. That's what

00:26:07.260 makes you stronger. Number nine, taking extreme ownership. I think this one's maybe a little

00:26:14.460 self-explanatory, but let me share this insight with you is if you weren't willing to take ownership

00:26:20.740 of, or responsibility of your life and your situations and everything around you, then you

00:26:27.140 are in essence, attempting to absolve yourself of dealing with a difficulty, right? Because if it's

00:26:34.000 somebody else's fault or somebody else's responsibility, or this individual did this,

00:26:37.880 and this individual did that, and none of it is on your shoulders, then you don't have to be tough.

00:26:43.520 They have to be tough because it's their responsibility, but you don't have to. And I want to be clear.

00:26:48.240 There's a distinction between taking and accepting fault and taking and accepting responsibility.

00:26:54.800 It's not always your fault. There's things that go wrong in life that are not your fault,

00:27:00.240 that you didn't cause, you didn't create. And yet you find yourself in this situation,

00:27:04.420 but just because it isn't your fault doesn't mean it's not your responsibility. It is your

00:27:08.940 responsibility. It's your life. It's your results. It's what you're after. And so I'm not telling you

00:27:15.120 to take on some weird misguided sense of fault and blame for the things that go wrong. I'm telling

00:27:20.720 you to accept responsibility for yourself, your environment, and your surroundings. And when you

00:27:25.780 do, you're, you're telling your mind that, Hey, I've, I've owned this. So now I need to find a way to,

00:27:33.060 to fix it, to figure it out, to make it work. This is a great phrase in, in Latin, and I won't say it

00:27:39.460 in Latin, but the phrase is I will find a way or make one. And if you're telling yourself and live

00:27:46.340 by the idea that you're going to take ownership of your life, then you're accepting that belief

00:27:51.300 that you will find a way or make one. If you want to be successful, you'll find a way to be successful.

00:27:56.900 If there's not already one there, then you'll make a way to be successful. And all the great

00:28:02.180 and successful people have done that. The guys that I've had on this podcast, over 280 men that I've

00:28:06.680 interviewed, they, they weren't born great. Sure. They had some fortunate events and some things

00:28:12.440 that happened in their life that may have led them to greatness, but ultimately it was on them

00:28:16.520 to develop that. And they developed it to, through taking responsibility of their life and their

00:28:21.380 actions. And the last one I want to share with you, as far as the skillsets go, when it comes to

00:28:25.780 forging mental fortitude is remembering your why it's very, very important that you remember why you're

00:28:31.940 doing things because you are going to get caught up in the monotony and the mundane activities and

00:28:39.020 tasks that need to be accomplished in order for you to achieve. It's just the way life is. And if you

00:28:45.240 want to be able to succeed and thrive, then you're going to have to remember why you're doing that in

00:28:50.480 the first place. There's days that I don't want to do a podcast. There's days where I don't want to do

00:28:57.880 emails and don't want to be on social media and don't want to do all sorts of things, but I do

00:29:02.880 them anyways, because I realize how important it is in the grand scheme of things. And I know exactly

00:29:07.880 why I'm doing it. I do it because of my family. I do it because I find value in the mission of

00:29:14.840 reclaiming and restoring masculinity. And because I have my eye fixed on that prize, the long-term why

00:29:21.900 of what I'm doing, it allows me to get through the house and the what's on a daily basis, especially

00:29:27.640 those things that maybe I'm less than motivated to accomplish. So there it is guys. That's what I

00:29:33.980 know about forging mental fortitude wrapped up in a, I don't know, 30 minute conversation or so,

00:29:38.820 maybe not even that long. I know I went through a quick, but, uh, review this, write this stuff down,

00:29:44.040 try to incorporate as many of these as you can. And it's likely that you're incorporating a lot of these

00:29:47.920 right now. So maybe you just learned one or two new things that will help you on the path of being

00:29:52.140 stronger. Uh, let's go through the mindsets. Then we'll go through the skillsets. Then we'll wrap it

00:29:56.860 up for the day. Mindsets. Number one, mental fortitude is a learned skill. Number two is every

00:30:02.660 action and thought thought is moving you towards or away from mental fortitude. Number three, mental

00:30:07.900 fortitude is perishable. And number four, mental fortitude is relative. Now let's go through the

00:30:14.080 skill sets. One focus on the controllable. Number two, surround yourself with mentally strong people.

00:30:20.360 Number three, reframe your fear from something that's negative to something that can serve you.

00:30:25.620 Number four, do the things that scare you. Number five, detach yourself and take nothing personally.

00:30:32.060 Number six, anticipate adversity and build in contingencies. Number seven, live by uncompromising

00:30:38.280 standards and values. Excuse me. Number eight, create small wins consistently. Number nine,

00:30:45.060 take extreme ownership. And number 10, remember your why. All right, guys, that's all I've got for

00:30:50.960 you today. I hope that helps again. Uh, remember, uh, this is an important mission. It's critical that

00:30:56.280 we as men step up and, uh, reclaim and restore masculinity and our ability to be mentally strong

00:31:04.240 and to show resolve and grit is something all men can improve regardless of what level you're at.

00:31:10.600 It's what, uh, will ensure that you're successful and ensure that the people you have responsibility

00:31:16.000 and obligation for as well, guys, we'll be back on Tuesday for our, ask me anything. So please make

00:31:23.300 sure that you subscribe, uh, again, and always honored during this battle. We just had Thanksgiving

00:31:28.760 and, uh, I'm thankful for you. I'm thankful to stand shoulder to shoulder with you. You inspire me

00:31:33.580 as much as I hope to inspire you and lead you towards becoming a more capable and, and better

00:31:39.100 man yourself. So again, uh, make sure you click subscribe wherever you are and, uh, you'll never

00:31:45.120 miss one of these videos or episodes. All right, guys, go out there, take action, become a man. You

00:31:50.080 are meant to be. Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast. You're ready to take charge of

00:31:55.060 your life and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.

Order of Man - November 29, 2019

10 Strategies for Forging Mental Fortitude ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript