Order of Man - 10 Ways to Make Yourself More Influential ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

00:00:00.480 Make exceptionalism your standard.

00:00:03.740 We do everything with exceptionalism.

00:00:07.660 If you're going to cook dinner tonight, be exceptional.

00:00:11.840 My kids, I asked them what they wanted for dinner tonight.

00:00:13.740 They said, we want spaghetti.

00:00:15.400 That's going to be the best bowl of spaghetti they ever had.

00:00:19.820 If I show up ready to do this podcast, you can see the lighting's right.

00:00:25.240 The audio's right.

00:00:26.240 I just bought some new equipment that I'm going to be testing this weekend to make it even better

00:00:31.440 because I want to show up exceptionally.

00:00:36.480 Several years ago, I wrote a book called The Masculinity Manifesto

00:00:40.400 with the subtitle How a Man Builds Influence, Credibility, and Authority.

00:00:45.880 And specifically today, I want to unpack the influence equation,

00:00:49.680 the influence factor in that equation, I should say,

00:00:52.180 because I really believe that as a man, it's our job to build and forge and develop

00:01:00.280 a level of influence with the people that we want to serve.

00:01:03.500 If you have no influence, then you cannot possibly serve anyone.

00:01:08.980 I think influence gets a bit of a bad rap.

00:01:12.520 I think a lot of people tend to think that being influential

00:01:15.280 might have some sort of negative manipulation component to it.

00:01:20.120 And I don't believe that's the case at all.

00:01:22.180 Because we're dealing with people who get to decide whether or not they're going to be influenced by you.

00:01:27.300 And by the way, they are going to be influenced by you, whether they want to or not.

00:01:30.940 They're going to learn things about you.

00:01:34.420 They're going to read into you.

00:01:36.180 They're going to make decisions based on how you show up and how you respond.

00:01:40.300 And if you show up in a negative, destructive way, they're going to be influenced by that.

00:01:45.580 If you show up in a positive, constructive way, they're also going to be influenced by that.

00:01:49.580 So today I'm going to share with you 10 ways to become more influential in the lives of those you care about.

00:01:55.540 Your wife, your kids, your colleagues, your co-workers, your friends, your neighbors, whoever you are trying to serve.

00:02:00.820 You cannot serve people unless you develop and build influence.

00:02:04.480 Now, of these 10 things, some of you guys are probably going to agree with everything.

00:02:09.320 Some of you are probably going to question some.

00:02:13.120 And I would issue you a challenge to be able to have a constructive, valuable conversation,

00:02:20.260 not only about the topics I'm going to share with you today,

00:02:22.180 but anything else that you might think that maybe I missed or overlooked.

00:02:26.000 So let's just jump right into it today.

00:02:28.100 Number one, and these are in no particular order,

00:02:30.640 but when it comes to developing and building influence with other people,

00:02:35.200 number one is to build strength and lean muscle mass.

00:02:38.320 Now, I know that this is probably a weird place to start,

00:02:42.640 but I start here on purpose because when it comes to the way that you show up,

00:02:47.220 oftentimes your visual appearance is the first thing that people are going to see.

00:02:53.020 And if you're fat, obese, overweight, slobby, a little bit soft around the midsection,

00:03:01.480 people are just naturally going to draw some conclusions about that.

00:03:05.160 They're going to draw conclusions that you're not disciplined, that you have no goals.

00:03:10.580 They're probably going to draw conclusions that you're lazy.

00:03:13.160 Now, you might say, well, none of that is fair.

00:03:15.020 Fair has nothing to do with the way that people interpret the way that you show up.

00:03:20.200 There's something called the Adonis Index.

00:03:23.040 And the Adonis Index, if you guys want to look this up, it's a ratio.

00:03:26.480 It's a shoulder-to-waist ratio.

00:03:28.700 And the Adonis Index is measured as 1 to 1.618 ratio,

00:03:35.660 meaning that your shoulders should be, for your waist being 1, your shoulders should be 1.618.

00:03:42.300 Now, is that exactly right?

00:03:44.960 No.

00:03:45.260 But the principle is the same, that you need to have big, broad shoulders, lean waist, trim, strong, fit,

00:03:54.560 and people are going to make some inferences about you and how you're going to show up

00:03:59.160 and how you're going to serve them and how you lead yourself.

00:04:02.620 So we should all be striving towards that Adonis Index, the 1 to 1.618,

00:04:07.580 and making sure that we're eating correctly, that we're lifting weights.

00:04:14.100 Running is not enough.

00:04:15.680 Cardio is not enough.

00:04:17.500 Soft little HIIT workouts are not enough.

00:04:19.720 You need to actually go move really, really heavy weight.

00:04:23.400 Now, I know if you have different goals and objectives, that might be different.

00:04:27.080 But generally speaking, you ought to be, as a baseline,

00:04:31.720 be sitting around with big, broad shoulders, large chest, lean waist,

00:04:39.700 and that's going to really say a lot about how you show up.

00:04:42.940 Now, I'm not telling you by any means that I'm perfect on any of this.

00:04:46.260 These are things that I'm working on,

00:04:47.540 but that Adonis Index is something that I'm going to be working towards.

00:04:51.060 All right, number two, because we're talking about physical appearance.

00:04:53.840 Again, it's not all about physical appearance.

00:04:57.020 I'm going to go through some other things here shortly.

00:04:58.520 But most of the time, when people first meet you,

00:05:02.260 they're going to make impressions or references or assumptions

00:05:07.820 based on the way you look.

00:05:09.400 So lean, strong, fit, dense muscle mass, that's what they're looking at.

00:05:15.100 Number two is they're going to look at your clothes.

00:05:17.180 All right, they're going to see if you can match your clothes with your age.

00:05:21.080 Three factors here, your age, the occasion, and your build.

00:05:26.120 So your age, the occasion, and your build.

00:05:29.860 I see grown men who are 45, 50 years old,

00:05:32.680 and they're wearing these overly washed out jeans with different patterns.

00:05:38.980 They're bejazzled and bejeweled on the back pockets,

00:05:42.020 and they have like unnecessary stitching.

00:05:46.400 They wear the, what's the American fighter or whatever brand that's called, clothes.

00:05:53.380 And they're trying to make themselves look younger than they are.

00:05:57.440 These, a lot of the times, these are fit guys.

00:06:01.040 They're relatively handsome men.

00:06:03.540 And they're wearing clothes that just make them look like teenagers

00:06:08.180 or not even like teenagers, that they're trying to look like teenagers.

00:06:12.840 Guys and gals, I would say.

00:06:15.140 Dress your age, okay? 0.80

00:06:16.580 Ladies and gentlemen, dress your age, okay?

00:06:21.460 That doesn't mean you need to, ladies, you know, wear a muumuu out in public by any means 0.99

00:06:26.420 or for men to wear a three-piece suit everywhere you go

00:06:29.420 because that's how your grandpa did it.

00:06:31.120 I'm not saying that.

00:06:32.980 But dress your age, okay?

00:06:34.920 Wear jeans that fit.

00:06:36.840 Wear clothes that are at least in your decade.

00:06:40.340 That's not to say you can't be stylish.

00:06:41.840 You can, but dress your age, okay?

00:06:46.000 You don't, ladies, you don't need to look like a young, prepubescent teenager. 1.00

00:06:51.620 It looks foolish.

00:06:52.660 It looks silly.

00:06:53.800 Guys, same thing for you.

00:06:56.160 When, if I were to dress like one of my sons, I would look like a complete idiot.

00:07:02.900 And I often tell my sons they look like idiots as well, but you guys get the point.

00:07:08.020 Dress your age, also the occasion, okay?

00:07:11.380 You don't need to wear a three-piece suit everywhere you go.

00:07:14.200 If the situation calls for it and you're walking the red carpet, sure.

00:07:17.860 If it's a black tie affair, sure.

00:07:21.260 If you're going in for a job interview and it's a blue-collar job and you wear a three-piece suit,

00:07:25.480 everybody's going to laugh at you and mock you.

00:07:27.000 Of course they are.

00:07:28.720 So if that's what it is, wear a nice pair of work boots that you cleaned and conditioned

00:07:34.980 the night before that don't have holes where the steel toes are.

00:07:38.360 Wear a pair of jeans that isn't wholly gross and disgusting and dirty, but that fits you,

00:07:44.920 that's clean, that looks nice.

00:07:46.740 Wear a button-up t-shirt.

00:07:48.700 It doesn't need to be something James Bond would wear, but wear a button-up short-sleeve

00:07:53.900 collared shirt.

00:07:55.240 Tuck in, if it's appropriate.

00:07:57.340 Wear a nice leather belt and show up looking good, but also looking the part.

00:08:02.100 Always dress one level above what you're currently doing.

00:08:06.940 I just had a conversation with somebody not too long ago where they had said that the man

00:08:16.160 in their life had talked about showing up for dates, first dates, in a suit.

00:08:22.540 Like, guys, don't do that, okay?

00:08:26.460 I know what you're trying to do, but what you need to do is not only dress for the occasion,

00:08:32.220 but just one level above, not 10 levels above, just one level above.

00:08:36.940 And regarding build, I know a lot of guys that are more heavyset.

00:08:41.720 Maybe they're obese. 0.92

00:08:42.520 Maybe they're fat.

00:08:43.320 Maybe they just have a few pounds around the midsection, and they'll buy and wear baggy 0.89

00:08:46.860 clothes because they think it hides it.

00:08:48.460 You're not hiding anything, okay?

00:08:50.400 We all know what's going on.

00:08:53.220 If you are a little bit overweight, wearing clothes that fit actually will make you look

00:08:58.680 leaner.

00:08:59.600 Get the right patterns.

00:09:01.600 Vertical stripes, not horizontal.

00:09:04.440 That makes you look bigger.

00:09:05.900 Dark colors, preferably black, but always wear clothes that fit you.

00:09:10.880 They need to fit around the arms, fit in the shoulders, fit in the waist, length of jeans.

00:09:16.620 It should all fit.

00:09:17.660 It should all go together.

00:09:18.860 I know I've spent 20% of the time talking on your physical appearance, but guys, stop

00:09:26.340 overlooking this.

00:09:27.560 So many guys will say, oh, that's not important.

00:09:29.500 That shouldn't be important.

00:09:30.460 I don't care what should or shouldn't be.

00:09:32.360 I care what is, and people are making opinions and decisions based on the way you look.

00:09:38.680 Get lean, get strong, build muscle.

00:09:41.420 We don't want wiry, little flimsy spaghetti arms.

00:09:45.440 We don't want baggy, gross clothes that look like our sons picked those out for us.

00:09:49.900 We want clothes that fit.

00:09:51.160 We want to look the part.

00:09:52.180 We want to play the part.

00:09:53.020 We want to be the part.

00:09:54.000 All right.

00:09:54.260 Now, let's get into the meat of this.

00:09:56.580 So number three, learn to communicate well.

00:09:59.060 I think one of the things that I'm very good at is taking complex concepts and breaking

00:10:08.240 them down into the simplest form.

00:10:10.600 10 ways to make yourself more influential is a prime example of that.

00:10:14.700 That's something I'm really good at.

00:10:16.160 I can take those concepts, I can break them down, I can share them in a very user-friendly,

00:10:21.840 easy-to-digest manner, and it helps people see.

00:10:25.600 I don't beat around the bush.

00:10:28.140 I don't drone on and on about things, subject to interpretation on that one.

00:10:33.400 Some of you guys might think I talked too long, but learn to communicate well.

00:10:37.180 And this is the most important thing about communication.

00:10:41.560 You don't get to decide if you're communicating well.

00:10:44.580 Guess who gets to decide?

00:10:45.560 The people that you're communicating with.

00:10:48.340 So if you're trying to communicate with your kids and you think you're a great communicator,

00:10:52.180 but they're not doing what you say, or they're not buying into what you believe, then you're

00:10:56.420 not a great communicator because they're the only ones who get to decide that in that moment.

00:11:00.840 Your wife gets to decide that. 1.00

00:11:02.680 Your clients get to decide that.

00:11:04.840 Your colleagues and your coworkers, your boss, they get to decide that.

00:11:09.780 So I would spend more time and attention and energy on how people are responding to

00:11:15.540 you rather than me worrying about how well I'm communicating.

00:11:19.260 And I can just look, is this a person who's bored?

00:11:23.140 When I'm talking with them, are they distracted?

00:11:26.360 Are they disengaged?

00:11:27.580 Are they yawning?

00:11:28.500 Are they rolling their eyes?

00:11:29.740 That's a person who's not engaged in the conversation.

00:11:32.240 That's not their problem.

00:11:33.260 That's yours if you're trying to communicate a message.

00:11:37.240 Read people.

00:11:38.420 Read the room as they say.

00:11:40.640 Okay.

00:11:40.820 I can't tell you how often I talk with people and some of these people I actually really,

00:11:44.780 really like where I'm giving them all the cues like, okay, sounds good.

00:11:49.680 That's good.

00:11:50.400 Good to see you.

00:11:51.240 Glad to hear from you.

00:11:52.200 And they just won't get the hint that the conversation's over.

00:11:55.060 That's not my fault.

00:11:56.620 Now, maybe I need to be a little bit more clear in those circumstances, but if you want

00:12:00.700 to resonate with me and you want to be influential, then you dang well better understand the social

00:12:06.760 cues that are happening.

00:12:07.820 If somebody's leaning into you and they're nodding their head and their eyes are a little

00:12:13.140 wider and they're engaging in the conversation, you know you're communicating well with them.

00:12:18.320 If they're sitting back and they look bored or distracted or they're looking around or they're

00:12:25.080 giving the clues of like, hey, good to see you.

00:12:27.040 Thanks.

00:12:27.380 Appreciate you.

00:12:27.840 Yeah.

00:12:28.080 It's all like everything's good.

00:12:30.120 Like read it.

00:12:32.660 Okay.

00:12:33.720 Have a little insight.

00:12:35.360 Understand what is happening in the environment around you.

00:12:40.040 Stop being so self-absorbed.

00:12:42.020 Read the room.

00:12:44.260 What are people looking for from you?

00:12:47.240 Now, everybody's different.

00:12:48.740 Some people are going to want a lot more explanations.

00:12:51.140 Some people are going to want get down to brass tacks.

00:12:54.300 Some people are going to want to catch up about the weather and small talk.

00:12:57.620 Other people are going to want to dive deep into meaningful and significant conversations.

00:13:01.360 You're a grown man.

00:13:03.140 You can figure that out, but you can't do that unless you're willing to read how other people

00:13:08.520 are responding to you.

00:13:09.760 And if you want to be influential in their life, then you'll consider that.

00:13:14.640 All right.

00:13:15.280 Number, what is this?

00:13:16.380 Number four.

00:13:18.460 I'm making, oops, make a note here on my notes.

00:13:22.360 Make fun of yourself on occasion.

00:13:24.520 Self-deprecation is an amazing tool.

00:13:31.600 It breaks down walls.

00:13:33.900 It breaks down barriers.

00:13:35.700 It lets people know that you don't take yourself so seriously.

00:13:39.500 It lets them see that you're not driven by your ego.

00:13:42.720 It's okay to beat yourself up a little bit.

00:13:45.040 Now, I would not take that to the extreme because then it might come across as insecurity

00:13:50.440 and that's not effective communication.

00:13:52.040 But if somebody says, hey, you know what?

00:13:54.520 Yeah, you talk a lot.

00:13:55.500 You're like, you should see what I talk, how often I talk with people I like.

00:14:01.500 Okay.

00:14:01.800 Like what?

00:14:02.480 Like make jokes, laugh, enjoy life a little bit.

00:14:06.760 I've had people say, hey, Ryan, I can't believe you said this or that on social media.

00:14:11.400 You're an idiot.

00:14:12.120 And I said, you know, if only you knew what I say in real life, you'd actually think a

00:14:17.080 whole lot worse of me.

00:14:18.080 That is disarming.

00:14:22.100 I don't need to take everything so seriously.

00:14:24.860 I can lighten up.

00:14:25.780 I can loosen up.

00:14:26.600 This one is actually for me because I tend to be a more serious man by my nature.

00:14:32.300 But just insult yourself every now and then.

00:14:37.660 It catches people off guard and lets them know that you're a human being, that you don't

00:14:42.960 think so highly of yourself, that you can see the humor and the comedy and the way that

00:14:49.240 you show up.

00:14:50.220 You know, my kids always make fun of me for snoring.

00:14:52.720 I don't get defensive about that.

00:14:54.020 I do.

00:14:55.020 And we talk about having snoring contests.

00:14:57.700 They make fun of my cooking.

00:14:59.380 I don't need to get defensive about that.

00:15:01.100 It's not awesome, but I can cook a hell of a bowl of macaroni and cheese.

00:15:07.240 Like, it's just fun.

00:15:08.460 Lighten up a little bit, guys.

00:15:10.120 And just beat yourself up.

00:15:12.080 Throw yourself under the bus a little bit.

00:15:13.940 And I think people will resonate with you a little bit more deeply.

00:15:19.920 The next two are things that you should get good at saying specifically.

00:15:23.300 We talked a little bit about communication.

00:15:24.840 But number one is this.

00:15:26.000 And this is, I guess, point number five in this ways to be more influential.

00:15:28.980 Get good at saying, I don't know.

00:15:33.260 I think when we're, as men, are trying to be influential, we're trying to lead,

00:15:36.700 whether it's our families or in our professional aspirations and our careers,

00:15:40.620 we want to know everything.

00:15:43.160 Nobody expects you to know everything, okay?

00:15:45.300 Your kids don't expect you to have it all figured out.

00:15:47.220 Your wife doesn't expect you to have it all figured out. 0.99

00:15:49.100 Your colleagues, your clients, your coworkers, your neighbors, whoever,

00:15:51.860 they do not expect you to have it all figured out.

00:15:54.180 But one thing they do want from you is honesty.

00:15:56.720 So get good at saying, I don't know.

00:16:01.420 If one of your clients asks you a question and you don't know the answer,

00:16:06.520 just say it.

00:16:07.640 I don't know.

00:16:08.780 Don't make up some bullshit because they're going to see right through it.

00:16:12.440 I remember in my financial planning practice,

00:16:14.940 which is my business before Order of Man, which I started in 2015,

00:16:20.700 I thought that I had to have all the answers.

00:16:23.560 And when I realized that I can say, I don't know, but I'll find out,

00:16:27.660 I really felt a deeper connection with my clients.

00:16:31.040 Nobody was insulted.

00:16:32.760 Nobody thought less of me.

00:16:34.540 Nobody thought that I wasn't their guy, so to speak.

00:16:38.860 Anytime I said, you know what?

00:16:40.560 That's a good question.

00:16:41.540 I actually don't know the answer to that,

00:16:43.340 but I have a man in my office who does,

00:16:45.520 or I have a resource available to me,

00:16:47.520 or I've invested in this coaching.

00:16:49.280 I'm going to call my coach and ask him about that.

00:16:52.180 Every single person I ever said anything like that to

00:16:55.600 was always more respectful of me,

00:16:59.240 more influence with them,

00:17:02.160 because I was honest.

00:17:04.240 And isn't that what people want?

00:17:05.480 We all want honesty.

00:17:07.520 Don't fuck around, okay?

00:17:09.140 Like, don't tell me you know how to do something

00:17:11.900 if you don't know how to do it.

00:17:13.400 Because guess what?

00:17:14.140 Two things.

00:17:15.040 Number one, I'm going to see it.

00:17:16.400 If you tell me I can do something, but you can't,

00:17:19.780 I already know you can't do it.

00:17:22.140 Just by the way you're answering the question.

00:17:25.260 And number two, even if I let you do it,

00:17:27.420 I'm going to be sadly disappointed

00:17:29.040 because it's not going to show up

00:17:30.760 and perform the way that I need that thing to perform.

00:17:35.100 Don't do that to people.

00:17:36.240 Just be honest.

00:17:37.880 Okay, now, honesty isn't always comfortable, right?

00:17:40.580 If you have to tell your client, I don't know,

00:17:42.460 that's not a comfortable thing.

00:17:43.680 But you know what happens is when you say,

00:17:46.440 I don't know, and you truly don't know,

00:17:48.620 what people do, this is what they do in their brains.

00:17:52.340 And this is well-researched, by the way.

00:17:54.160 So what they actually do in their brains

00:17:56.420 is they say to themselves,

00:17:58.600 well, I may not have liked that answer,

00:18:01.980 but I know he's going to be truthful and honest with me.

00:18:06.540 And because he's going to be truthful and honest with me,

00:18:09.280 I know that I can trust him.

00:18:12.140 Think about it for yourself.

00:18:13.700 Anytime anybody said,

00:18:14.960 like if you went to the mechanic

00:18:16.060 and you brought your truck in,

00:18:19.320 and let's say it's having a hard time starting occasionally,

00:18:22.480 which is what my 2015 three-quarter ton GMC

00:18:25.900 is doing right now.

00:18:28.000 I brought it in the mechanic,

00:18:29.420 and the mechanic says, you know what?

00:18:31.380 I don't know.

00:18:32.420 I don't know what's going on.

00:18:33.900 I don't think they're incompetent,

00:18:35.800 especially if they say,

00:18:36.820 hey, we brought this guy in,

00:18:37.960 or we're going to look at it,

00:18:38.740 we're running these diagnoses on it.

00:18:41.240 I don't think less.

00:18:42.560 I actually think they're going to be honest with me.

00:18:44.660 So the next time I go in and the guy said for an oil change,

00:18:48.840 and the guy says, hey, we got your oil change,

00:18:50.640 but I noticed your driver's side rear tire needs to be replaced.

00:18:57.020 I'm actually going to believe him

00:18:58.640 because I know he's not bullshitting me.

00:19:02.700 See, we think that if we don't know

00:19:04.860 that people are just going to,

00:19:06.840 I don't know what, run away from us?

00:19:09.000 No, they're actually going to start believing you

00:19:11.500 because you're a man of your word.

00:19:13.820 You tell the truth.

00:19:15.040 And so when you make a recommendation,

00:19:17.020 they're actually going to believe it

00:19:18.480 because they should,

00:19:20.160 because you're truthful and you're honest.

00:19:22.200 All right, the next one here,

00:19:23.240 and this is point number six.

00:19:24.220 I said point number five was getting good at saying,

00:19:26.780 I don't know.

00:19:27.440 Point number six is get good at saying,

00:19:29.700 I don't agree with that.

00:19:32.960 Okay, if somebody says something to you,

00:19:35.160 let's say you're talking with your wife

00:19:36.540 about something one of the kids is dealing with.

00:19:40.280 You know, school's just getting started

00:19:41.660 for a lot of people across the country.

00:19:43.340 And let's say they have a bad day.

00:19:46.480 Maybe the teacher's not a great teacher

00:19:48.080 and little Timmy's having a hard time.

00:19:52.340 And your wife says, you know,

00:19:53.260 I really want to go talk to the teacher.

00:19:54.840 And you're like, don't go talk to the teacher.

00:19:56.760 Let this play out.

00:19:58.220 Let little Timmy figure it out for a minute.

00:20:01.440 You can say that.

00:20:03.120 You should say that.

00:20:05.000 Don't ever refrain from saying what you need to say,

00:20:07.720 especially in the things that are important.

00:20:09.120 So if your wife says,

00:20:09.880 I'm going to go talk to the teacher,

00:20:10.860 say, whoa, whoa, whoa.

00:20:12.320 I don't agree with that.

00:20:14.560 Let me explain why.

00:20:17.020 Now you don't need to dig in your heels.

00:20:19.260 You don't need to make it a worse situation.

00:20:21.940 But if you tell people your opinion,

00:20:24.280 even though you don't agree with theirs,

00:20:27.360 again, this goes back to the trust thing.

00:20:30.060 I want people in my corner I can trust.

00:20:32.460 I don't need yes men. 0.99

00:20:33.680 I don't need, I call them bobbleheads. 1.00

00:20:36.040 You know, you stick a bobblehead 0.97

00:20:37.220 on your dashboard of your vehicle.

00:20:38.640 And what does the bobblehead do?

00:20:39.980 It's like up and down their head,

00:20:41.260 up and down, regardless of what bump

00:20:43.000 or what turn or whatever else you go through,

00:20:45.040 up and down.

00:20:46.100 The bobblehead is just bobbing.

00:20:48.820 That's some of you.

00:20:51.060 You don't need to be a bobblehead.

00:20:53.100 Okay, you don't need to agree

00:20:54.260 with everything your wife says.

00:20:55.840 You don't need to agree

00:20:56.720 with everything your children say.

00:20:58.180 You don't need to agree

00:20:58.980 with everything your boss says.

00:21:00.700 Now, don't get me wrong.

00:21:02.840 There's a very clear way

00:21:05.760 to be tactical about this,

00:21:09.000 to exercise some tact,

00:21:11.580 to make sure you don't get yourself in trouble

00:21:13.740 with your wife or your kids or your boss

00:21:15.360 or whatever it might be.

00:21:16.580 But it's okay not to agree, respectfully.

00:21:20.280 So if your wife's like, 0.94

00:21:21.320 hey, we should do this,

00:21:22.540 hold on, babe.

00:21:24.600 I like where your head's at.

00:21:26.160 I know you want to serve little Timmy

00:21:27.520 and that's important to both of us,

00:21:29.440 but I actually don't agree with that.

00:21:30.900 And here's why.

00:21:32.440 And then make your case.

00:21:34.740 If your boss comes to you and says,

00:21:36.680 hey, you know what?

00:21:38.380 Steve, like we've got this thing going on.

00:21:40.700 We've got this initiative

00:21:41.520 and we need to do X, Y, and Z.

00:21:43.000 And in your mind, you're like,

00:21:44.080 I see it completely different.

00:21:47.900 Man, what if you had the balls

00:21:50.080 to say, hey, boss,

00:21:52.840 I might do this privately, by the way.

00:21:55.520 Okay, like we don't want to call our bosses

00:21:57.220 out in front of other people.

00:21:58.640 But I might sit down with my boss

00:21:59.980 and I might call him and say,

00:22:01.180 hey, boss, you know,

00:22:01.840 you talked about it at the conference this morning.

00:22:03.640 And man, I had some thoughts

00:22:04.860 I wanted to share with you

00:22:05.820 just based on some experience I've had.

00:22:07.520 Are you okay with that?

00:22:08.200 And he's going to say,

00:22:08.780 yeah, I'm good with that.

00:22:09.700 We can meet today at three o'clock.

00:22:11.640 And so you go into his office at three o'clock.

00:22:13.580 Remember, it's just you and him.

00:22:14.920 That's the caveat.

00:22:16.280 And you say, hey, boss,

00:22:17.280 you said this thing about this initiative.

00:22:19.420 And man, I've been thinking about it all day.

00:22:23.360 I don't agree with it.

00:22:25.540 I think what you're trying to accomplish is right.

00:22:29.480 But the one thing I've seen

00:22:30.940 based on where I'm in the department

00:22:32.840 and what I've seen from other people

00:22:34.620 is that this thing also needs to be addressed.

00:22:38.340 And so I would say,

00:22:39.720 what if we took your solution

00:22:41.760 and we just added this component to it

00:22:44.840 or tweaked this or adjusted that?

00:22:47.480 Be smart.

00:22:48.360 Okay, this is sensitive territory.

00:22:50.220 Be smart.

00:22:51.300 But I think that most bosses,

00:22:54.500 I do, I do believe this,

00:22:56.320 that most bosses would,

00:22:58.160 if you did it properly

00:22:59.060 and you did it in private,

00:23:00.560 would say,

00:23:01.940 hmm, I haven't considered that before.

00:23:05.440 Or I didn't think about that.

00:23:07.040 And that's interesting.

00:23:08.800 Tell me more.

00:23:10.100 And what you end up doing

00:23:11.040 is building more credibility

00:23:12.580 and influence with your boss

00:23:14.100 than just sitting back

00:23:15.460 and being that bobblehead

00:23:16.540 that we talked about.

00:23:17.820 Yes, boss, whatever you say, boss.

00:23:19.860 Because you know what's going to happen?

00:23:21.180 You already know the project's going to fail.

00:23:24.620 Don't let it fail.

00:23:25.940 Do what you need to do

00:23:26.860 to ensure that it doesn't.

00:23:28.500 All right, number seven.

00:23:31.940 Yes, seven.

00:23:32.960 Be ruthlessly consistent.

00:23:36.400 It's really important, men,

00:23:37.820 that when we show up for people

00:23:39.400 that we aren't scatterbrained,

00:23:41.320 that the way we show up today

00:23:42.740 isn't the way that we show up tomorrow

00:23:44.520 and that we always show up

00:23:46.360 with a unified response.

00:23:50.860 This is hard.

00:23:51.920 This is very hard.

00:23:53.480 And I'll give you just a very broad example.

00:23:57.300 I've got four kids,

00:23:58.660 three sons and a daughter.

00:24:00.380 And my sons and my daughter,

00:24:02.240 they know how to trigger me.

00:24:03.700 I don't know that they're doing it on purpose,

00:24:05.500 but they know how to push the buttons.

00:24:07.080 Maybe they are.

00:24:09.080 And I have to be very deliberate

00:24:11.080 and intentional

00:24:11.980 about the way that I respond to them,

00:24:13.900 especially in those moments of being triggered.

00:24:15.820 Because the last thing I want

00:24:17.340 is to show up in a way

00:24:19.320 that isn't conducive to their growth

00:24:21.160 and their development

00:24:23.780 as children who are working

00:24:26.100 to become young adults.

00:24:29.000 If I lose my cool,

00:24:31.560 if I get offended,

00:24:32.980 if I get upset,

00:24:34.080 if I fly off the handle,

00:24:35.660 and I've done all of those things.

00:24:37.100 I'm not saying I haven't.

00:24:39.000 That doesn't bolster influence with them.

00:24:41.700 What bolsters influence 0.97

00:24:42.720 is knowing that every time

00:24:44.240 they come talk to me,

00:24:45.340 whether it's they won

00:24:46.900 the grand prize at the science fair

00:24:50.160 or they got sent

00:24:53.840 to the principal's office

00:24:55.080 for bullying a kid today.

00:24:57.220 If they know

00:24:58.520 that they're always going to get

00:25:00.680 the same dad,

00:25:02.440 whether it's something positive

00:25:03.800 or something negative,

00:25:04.760 that's going to build

00:25:06.580 and elicit a level of trust

00:25:09.000 and influence with them.

00:25:11.940 Roger Kipling talks about it

00:25:13.580 in his poem,

00:25:14.440 If,

00:25:14.700 and he talks,

00:25:15.380 I'm obviously paraphrasing here,

00:25:17.540 but he talks about a man's ability

00:25:19.380 to meet both failure and triumph

00:25:22.700 with the same level of response.

00:25:26.000 If you can do that with your kids,

00:25:28.080 you will have much more

00:25:29.540 influence with them.

00:25:32.700 If you can do that with your boss,

00:25:34.320 your clients,

00:25:35.120 whoever you might be interacting with,

00:25:37.040 and you're always the same guy

00:25:38.740 across the board,

00:25:40.140 everybody's going to bet on you

00:25:41.780 because they know

00:25:42.740 how you're going to show up.

00:25:45.720 By the way,

00:25:46.460 that also applies

00:25:47.200 if you're an asshole, 0.56

00:25:48.020 always.

00:25:49.180 If you're always the asshole,

00:25:50.620 they're never going to go to you

00:25:51.860 because they know

00:25:52.400 you're always going to be that person.

00:25:53.740 But if you're always

00:25:54.480 the steadfast rock

00:25:56.340 that we as men

00:25:57.640 are designed to be

00:25:58.900 and called to be,

00:26:00.400 then I think

00:26:01.560 they're going to have

00:26:02.260 more trust

00:26:03.680 and influence

00:26:04.420 with you.

00:26:05.800 All right.

00:26:06.300 Number eight,

00:26:08.300 make exceptionalism

00:26:10.120 your standard.

00:26:11.620 We do everything

00:26:13.020 with exceptionalism.

00:26:15.380 If you're going to cook

00:26:18.140 dinner tonight,

00:26:19.160 be exceptional.

00:26:20.920 My kids,

00:26:21.680 I asked them what they wanted

00:26:22.340 for dinner tonight.

00:26:23.020 They said,

00:26:23.360 we want spaghetti.

00:26:24.700 That's going to be the best

00:26:26.300 bowl of spaghetti

00:26:27.940 they ever had.

00:26:28.680 if I show up

00:26:31.500 ready to do this podcast,

00:26:33.020 you can see

00:26:34.220 the lighting's right.

00:26:36.300 The audio's right.

00:26:38.060 I just bought

00:26:38.880 some new equipment

00:26:39.560 that I'm going to

00:26:40.180 be testing this weekend

00:26:41.480 to make it even better

00:26:42.840 because I want to show up

00:26:44.780 exceptionally.

00:26:48.220 When I play with my kids,

00:26:50.660 I'm fully present.

00:26:51.840 My phone's not with me

00:26:52.680 because that's not exceptional.

00:26:54.540 When I go to work,

00:26:55.580 I already know

00:26:55.980 what I'm going to do

00:26:56.620 throughout the day

00:26:57.220 because that's what

00:26:57.860 it requires

00:26:58.460 to be exceptional.

00:27:00.400 When I have a podcast

00:27:01.440 interview

00:27:01.940 and I'm interviewing

00:27:02.600 another man,

00:27:03.400 I'm prepared

00:27:04.000 and ready to go

00:27:04.700 and I show up

00:27:05.480 five minutes early

00:27:06.300 because that's exceptional.

00:27:08.660 Exceptionalism

00:27:09.060 is the standard.

00:27:11.560 Not maybe,

00:27:12.600 not I'm showing up

00:27:13.440 a little late,

00:27:14.120 not they'll forgive me,

00:27:15.260 not oh,

00:27:15.740 it's not a big deal.

00:27:16.640 No.

00:27:18.020 Exceptionalism

00:27:18.460 in all things,

00:27:20.040 in all ways,

00:27:21.140 when you get up

00:27:23.340 in the morning,

00:27:24.700 you get right up.

00:27:27.700 When you groom yourself

00:27:30.160 and brush your teeth

00:27:31.160 and shower

00:27:31.760 and you trim your beard

00:27:33.560 and you brush your teeth

00:27:34.660 and you make sure

00:27:35.540 you have good breath

00:27:36.340 and you look the best

00:27:37.320 for when you're ready

00:27:37.980 to go into work.

00:27:39.840 When you go into work

00:27:41.500 and you get in your car,

00:27:43.040 it's not a pigsty,

00:27:43.960 there's not wrappers

00:27:44.800 and bullshit 0.88

00:27:45.500 and trash

00:27:46.480 and all sorts

00:27:47.760 of nonsense left over.

00:27:49.020 No, it's clean

00:27:49.800 and it's neat

00:27:50.880 and it's orderly

00:27:51.780 and it's organized

00:27:53.800 because exceptionalism

00:27:55.340 is the standard.

00:27:57.840 You go wash your truck

00:27:59.280 and you get a detailed

00:28:00.680 and you pay attention

00:28:02.120 to those details.

00:28:03.200 You show up to work on time,

00:28:04.780 ready to do

00:28:05.440 what needs to be done.

00:28:06.880 You have good conversations

00:28:08.040 with good people.

00:28:08.920 When people try to distract you,

00:28:10.280 even if it's unintentional,

00:28:11.760 you have boundaries in place

00:28:12.940 that say,

00:28:13.240 hey, I'd love to talk with you.

00:28:14.140 I can't do it right now

00:28:14.880 because I got work to do.

00:28:16.380 But we can talk today

00:28:17.460 over lunch at noon.

00:28:18.580 Would you like to do that?

00:28:20.340 And then when you go

00:28:21.100 to lunch with those people,

00:28:21.980 you actually sit down

00:28:22.800 and you pay attention to them.

00:28:23.900 You're thoughtful

00:28:24.320 about where you're going.

00:28:25.340 You're thoughtful

00:28:25.720 about what you're eating

00:28:26.820 because you're exceptional.

00:28:30.220 Everything is done

00:28:31.180 with an exceptionalism.

00:28:32.420 And by the way,

00:28:33.480 if you're not going

00:28:34.580 to be exceptional with it,

00:28:35.800 just don't do it.

00:28:37.540 I'm not saying

00:28:38.220 you need to be the best

00:28:39.300 because that's what

00:28:40.380 a lot of people hear.

00:28:41.740 Ryan say,

00:28:42.280 I need to be the best

00:28:42.980 at everything I do.

00:28:43.900 You know what?

00:28:44.260 I'm not saying that at all.

00:28:45.360 If I went to go play

00:28:47.600 a pickup game of basketball

00:28:48.760 with my buddies tonight,

00:28:50.260 I would not be

00:28:51.040 the best basketball player there.

00:28:52.880 In fact,

00:28:53.400 it's a very high likelihood

00:28:55.140 that I'd be

00:28:56.180 the worst basketball player there.

00:28:58.400 But you know what I'll do?

00:28:59.760 Show up on time.

00:29:01.700 Wear the appropriate attire.

00:29:03.780 I'll look good

00:29:04.400 while I'm doing it.

00:29:05.160 I'll be a good team player.

00:29:06.500 I'll communicate effectively.

00:29:07.940 When I miss the layup

00:29:08.940 or miss a bad shot

00:29:09.760 or miss a pass,

00:29:10.420 I'll make fun of myself

00:29:11.780 as we talked about

00:29:13.120 in point number three or four

00:29:14.380 is that self-deprecation.

00:29:18.960 I'm going to be exceptional.

00:29:20.600 I'm going to be

00:29:21.180 the best mediocre pickup

00:29:23.660 game of basketball player ever.

00:29:26.880 And you should be that too.

00:29:29.060 You should always be exceptional.

00:29:31.620 Not the best.

00:29:33.000 Exceptional.

00:29:34.460 Subjective.

00:29:35.300 Exceptional at what you do.

00:29:37.000 All right.

00:29:37.500 Number nine.

00:29:38.880 Follow through on your commitments.

00:29:41.020 That's it.

00:29:42.160 If you say you're going

00:29:42.840 to be there at noon,

00:29:43.460 be there at noon.

00:29:44.280 If you say you're going

00:29:44.820 to do a thing,

00:29:45.480 do a thing.

00:29:46.600 If you tell somebody

00:29:49.160 that they can count on you,

00:29:50.720 make sure they count on you.

00:29:52.600 If you say you're going

00:29:53.420 to do some research

00:29:54.160 on a project

00:29:55.120 or a product

00:29:57.020 or whatever it might be,

00:29:58.000 you better well do that.

00:29:59.300 If you don't,

00:30:00.060 you're undermining your influence

00:30:01.360 and people are going

00:30:02.200 to start to realize it

00:30:03.120 and they're going to say,

00:30:03.760 this is a guy,

00:30:04.420 even subconsciously,

00:30:05.680 this is a guy

00:30:06.440 who can't be trusted.

00:30:08.120 I can tell him to do things.

00:30:09.420 I can tell him I want things.

00:30:10.420 But at the end of the day,

00:30:11.160 I can't rely on him

00:30:12.000 because I don't know

00:30:12.540 if he's going to show up.

00:30:13.720 Is that you?

00:30:14.880 It has been me.

00:30:16.300 And in some instances,

00:30:17.640 it still is.

00:30:21.000 My son,

00:30:21.880 my youngest son,

00:30:22.820 is really good

00:30:23.660 at calling me out on this.

00:30:25.740 He'll say,

00:30:26.300 for example,

00:30:26.840 Dad,

00:30:27.080 you said.

00:30:27.980 And you know what?

00:30:28.700 He's right.

00:30:29.820 I did say.

00:30:31.300 So I ought to do.

00:30:33.120 And if I'm not going to do,

00:30:34.680 then I shouldn't say.

00:30:36.620 So for example,

00:30:37.660 he wants to earn some money

00:30:38.880 for some Pokemon cards.

00:30:40.220 That's what he really wants

00:30:40.940 right now.

00:30:42.280 And last night,

00:30:42.940 he said,

00:30:43.200 hey, Dad,

00:30:43.520 can I clean the house

00:30:44.280 in the morning?

00:30:44.980 And I thought about it.

00:30:45.700 I'm like,

00:30:45.900 that sounds pretty good.

00:30:46.660 I'd love him to clean the house.

00:30:47.600 And my knee-jerk reaction was,

00:30:49.360 you know,

00:30:49.600 I want to say yes to him.

00:30:50.580 But I thought to myself,

00:30:51.540 you know what?

00:30:51.840 I've got an Iron Council call

00:30:53.080 in the morning.

00:30:54.640 The kids need to get ready

00:30:55.600 for the day.

00:30:56.360 I've got to organize a few things.

00:30:57.620 I've got to get ready for the day.

00:30:58.800 And so the answer is no,

00:31:00.100 because I'm not just,

00:31:01.240 I'm just not going to do that.

00:31:02.180 I'm not going to give him tasks

00:31:03.740 and assignments

00:31:04.280 and hold him accountable.

00:31:05.060 I'm not going to do it.

00:31:06.020 So I said,

00:31:06.440 hey, bud,

00:31:06.860 I love that you want

00:31:07.560 to clean the house.

00:31:08.600 But no,

00:31:09.080 we're not going to do that

00:31:09.760 this morning,

00:31:10.200 but we'll do it tonight.

00:31:12.360 And when he gets here

00:31:13.200 this evening,

00:31:13.620 then you better believe

00:31:16.120 that that's exactly

00:31:17.180 what we're going to do

00:31:17.760 because I said so.

00:31:20.440 We talked about this

00:31:21.600 on our brotherhood call,

00:31:23.060 the Iron Council this morning,

00:31:24.800 this idea of accountability

00:31:26.980 and the highest tier

00:31:28.000 of accountability

00:31:28.520 is doing the things

00:31:29.440 that you said you would do

00:31:30.320 because you said

00:31:31.440 you would do them.

00:31:32.820 Not because you have

00:31:33.600 a system in place,

00:31:34.540 not because you know

00:31:35.240 somebody else

00:31:35.700 is going to check in on you

00:31:36.660 and there's nothing wrong

00:31:37.400 with that,

00:31:37.880 but the highest tier

00:31:38.920 of accountability

00:31:39.500 is you're going to do a thing

00:31:41.700 because you said

00:31:42.820 you would do it.

00:31:45.360 So if you said,

00:31:46.280 hey, you know what,

00:31:46.920 Saturday morning,

00:31:47.600 I'm going to get up,

00:31:48.440 I'm going to go run five miles

00:31:50.160 and then you wake up

00:31:51.600 and you're like,

00:31:52.700 you know,

00:31:53.700 it's late,

00:31:54.580 I'm tired,

00:31:55.740 I'm comfortable,

00:31:56.980 I had a long week

00:31:58.360 and so I'm not going

00:31:59.760 to do that today.

00:32:00.860 Nope, wrong answer.

00:32:02.960 You are going to do it

00:32:04.120 because last night

00:32:05.580 you said you were

00:32:06.540 and especially

00:32:08.060 if you communicated

00:32:08.900 to other people

00:32:09.700 because they're going

00:32:10.180 to see you.

00:32:11.200 Your wife's going to see 1.00

00:32:12.360 that last night

00:32:13.200 you said,

00:32:13.840 I'm going to go run five miles

00:32:15.020 and this morning

00:32:15.620 you woke your ass up 0.92

00:32:16.540 and you didn't go run.

00:32:17.700 Your kids are going to see that.

00:32:19.460 They might be disappointed

00:32:20.320 that you're not going

00:32:20.880 to have a donut with them

00:32:21.720 in the morning

00:32:22.100 like you normally do,

00:32:22.960 but you know what

00:32:23.460 they're going to believe

00:32:24.000 is that dad

00:32:24.640 is a man of his word.

00:32:27.040 Do the shit you say

00:32:28.280 you're going to do

00:32:28.860 always.

00:32:30.200 All right,

00:32:30.600 the last one here guys,

00:32:32.380 this one is for me

00:32:33.320 more than anybody else.

00:32:34.460 Number 10,

00:32:35.280 laugh, smile,

00:32:35.880 and be more light.

00:32:37.600 Laugh, smile,

00:32:39.060 and be more light.

00:32:40.380 Not everything

00:32:41.300 is catastrophic.

00:32:42.900 Not everything

00:32:43.720 is the end of the world.

00:32:45.340 Not everything

00:32:46.320 ought to be taken

00:32:47.340 to the level

00:32:47.940 of seriousness

00:32:48.580 that you make it.

00:32:51.760 Just lighten up.

00:32:53.560 Okay,

00:32:53.760 I need to do this.

00:32:55.100 Choke,

00:32:55.660 laugh,

00:32:56.100 play,

00:32:56.660 smile,

00:32:57.960 tease,

00:32:58.880 wrestle,

00:33:00.220 tickle your kids.

00:33:01.180 Like,

00:33:01.380 these are the things

00:33:02.080 that are important.

00:33:03.000 Like,

00:33:03.140 just enjoy life

00:33:04.600 a little bit more.

00:33:06.460 Be lighthearted.

00:33:07.620 Laugh at yourself.

00:33:08.500 Laugh at other people.

00:33:11.000 Diffuse situations.

00:33:14.240 It's okay.

00:33:16.320 It's okay.

00:33:17.480 You know,

00:33:17.620 I'm 44 years old now.

00:33:20.440 God willing,

00:33:21.280 I'm halfway through my life.

00:33:24.200 And I just,

00:33:25.500 I'm a serious person

00:33:26.860 by nature,

00:33:27.720 but I think

00:33:28.460 lighthearted people

00:33:30.200 are often just

00:33:31.500 trusted a little bit more.

00:33:34.420 And by the way,

00:33:35.020 when I say lighthearted,

00:33:35.980 I don't mean flippant.

00:33:38.340 Because I know people like that.

00:33:39.580 They're lighthearted.

00:33:40.180 They're fun.

00:33:40.780 I really enjoy them,

00:33:41.640 but I can't trust them.

00:33:42.900 That's not what I'm saying.

00:33:44.420 I want lighthearted people

00:33:45.660 in my life

00:33:46.200 who I know

00:33:46.680 will actually get things

00:33:47.540 done.

00:33:48.160 You can have both.

00:33:49.120 You should be both.

00:33:50.360 So be more lighthearted.

00:33:52.260 So those are my 10 ways

00:33:53.460 to make yourself

00:33:54.040 more influential.

00:33:55.280 You know,

00:33:55.580 and I did put

00:33:56.480 a little bonus on here

00:33:57.440 because I thought about this

00:33:58.340 after I came up

00:34:00.480 with my 10.

00:34:01.300 And here it is.

00:34:02.360 Never let people

00:34:03.220 see you sweat.

00:34:04.980 Never let them

00:34:05.640 see you sweat.

00:34:07.120 Nothing is hard.

00:34:09.160 You know,

00:34:09.720 if you're really

00:34:10.740 struggling at work,

00:34:11.820 you're a leader

00:34:12.280 and you're really

00:34:12.840 struggling

00:34:13.300 getting the project done,

00:34:14.540 your job

00:34:15.520 is to diffuse,

00:34:16.560 to deescalate,

00:34:17.600 to make everything lighter.

00:34:19.160 And then if you need

00:34:20.360 to complain or vent,

00:34:21.600 complain to appear,

00:34:22.560 complain higher,

00:34:23.600 never complain lower,

00:34:24.760 never let people

00:34:25.900 see you sweat.

00:34:28.800 You know,

00:34:29.300 I remember

00:34:29.980 when I was playing sports,

00:34:31.340 if I got frustrated

00:34:33.920 or in wrestling,

00:34:35.420 if I got hurt

00:34:36.300 or even jiu-jitsu,

00:34:37.200 like when training jiu-jitsu,

00:34:39.960 you know,

00:34:40.220 if somebody catches you,

00:34:43.100 maybe they've got you

00:34:44.260 dead to rights.

00:34:45.160 You know,

00:34:45.400 they've got you

00:34:45.900 in a solid arm bar

00:34:47.740 or they have you

00:34:50.320 in a Kimura.

00:34:52.180 Don't,

00:34:52.660 don't scramble around

00:34:55.580 like a chicken

00:34:56.860 with his head cut off.

00:34:57.960 Like,

00:34:58.140 just relax.

00:34:59.680 Don't let them

00:35:00.400 see you sweat

00:35:01.120 because I've had this

00:35:02.540 happen more often

00:35:03.280 than not

00:35:03.820 is they got me

00:35:05.840 in a,

00:35:06.420 let's say,

00:35:06.780 Kimura

00:35:07.180 that's kind of like

00:35:08.040 60 to 70% there

00:35:10.160 but I'm not flailing around

00:35:11.760 and flopping around

00:35:12.660 and like showing my cards

00:35:15.080 and you know

00:35:15.860 what people do

00:35:16.500 in that case

00:35:18.140 a lot of the times

00:35:19.260 is they stop

00:35:20.380 because they don't think

00:35:21.020 it's working.

00:35:21.580 It was working.

00:35:22.940 I just didn't let people

00:35:24.120 see me sweat.

00:35:26.000 When my kids

00:35:26.940 are busting my ass 0.99

00:35:29.120 about whatever it might be

00:35:30.260 because they're kids,

00:35:31.780 I don't need to lose my cool.

00:35:33.460 Those are kids.

00:35:35.860 I don't need to let them

00:35:37.000 see me sweat.

00:35:38.400 I'm cool.

00:35:39.040 I'm calm.

00:35:39.540 I'm collected.

00:35:40.160 It's like the James Bond

00:35:41.700 of fatherhood

00:35:44.840 or the James Bond

00:35:46.040 of

00:35:46.760 your career aspirations

00:35:50.140 or being a husband.

00:35:51.700 Like,

00:35:51.980 we all ought to take some

00:35:53.220 lessons

00:35:55.460 from that.

00:35:58.520 Like,

00:35:58.840 be cool.

00:35:59.560 Be calm.

00:36:00.260 Be collected.

00:36:01.080 You can lose your mind later.

00:36:02.660 You can break down later.

00:36:03.680 You can cry

00:36:04.300 if you have to

00:36:05.040 later

00:36:05.640 but don't do it now.

00:36:08.240 Never let them

00:36:09.060 see you sweat.

00:36:09.700 All right, guys.

00:36:10.800 Those are my

00:36:11.460 10 plus

00:36:13.340 one

00:36:13.920 lessons

00:36:14.520 for making yourself

00:36:16.160 more influential.

00:36:17.300 If I missed anything

00:36:18.300 or if I'm off on anything,

00:36:20.300 let me know in the comments.

00:36:22.080 We're very active

00:36:22.920 on

00:36:23.240 Apple

00:36:24.240 podcasts

00:36:25.240 Apple podcast.

00:36:26.400 But also,

00:36:27.340 I've seen Spotify

00:36:28.440 really growing.

00:36:29.280 We have over

00:36:30.080 100,000

00:36:31.920 people who are subscribed

00:36:34.080 to this show

00:36:36.120 on Spotify.

00:36:37.620 And I'd love to

00:36:38.500 double that.

00:36:39.780 I'd love to get to 200,000.

00:36:41.320 But if we

00:36:41.920 strive for 200,000,

00:36:43.980 we only get to 150.

00:36:45.060 I'm good with that too.

00:36:45.840 So if you haven't yet,

00:36:47.860 subscribe.

00:36:48.600 The other cool thing

00:36:49.160 about Spotify

00:36:49.780 is that you can leave

00:36:51.020 reviews

00:36:52.380 and comments.

00:36:54.340 And another cool thing

00:36:55.420 on Spotify

00:36:55.960 is that we are now

00:36:57.160 starting to upload

00:36:57.980 all of our videos.

00:36:59.040 So if you

00:36:59.880 follow us on Spotify,

00:37:01.600 not only can you get

00:37:02.880 the audio,

00:37:03.560 but you could also get

00:37:04.340 the video

00:37:05.060 podcast available

00:37:06.960 not on YouTube

00:37:07.880 but directly on Spotify.

00:37:09.540 So head over there.

00:37:11.080 If you go to

00:37:11.920 orderofman.com

00:37:12.720 slash Spotify,

00:37:13.620 you'll find it.

00:37:15.040 All right, guys.

00:37:16.080 Make yourself influential

00:37:17.160 in all ways.

00:37:17.700 You have your marching orders.

00:37:18.660 I give you 10 plus 1 ways

00:37:19.960 to make yourself

00:37:20.620 more influential.

00:37:21.400 I hope you do

00:37:21.880 and I hope this serves you.

00:37:23.220 And if you have any feedback

00:37:23.940 for me, let me know.

00:37:25.020 Until then,

00:37:25.440 go out there,

00:37:25.880 take action

00:37:26.420 and become the man

00:37:27.560 you are meant to be.

00:37:33.300 Thank you for listening

00:37:34.180 to the Order of Man podcast.

00:37:36.180 You're ready to take charge

00:37:37.320 of your life

00:37:37.900 and be more of the man

00:37:39.040 you were meant to be.

00:37:40.300 We invite you to join the Order

00:37:41.620 at orderofman.com.

Order of Man - August 15, 2025

10 Ways to Make Yourself More Influential ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

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