Order of Man - August 15, 2025


10 Ways to Make Yourself More Influential ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES


Episode Stats

Length

37 minutes

Words per Minute

177.97688

Word Count

6,714

Sentence Count

534

Misogynist Sentences

8

Hate Speech Sentences

10


Summary

As a man, it's our job to build and forge and develop a level of influence with the people that we want to serve. If you have no influence, then you cannot possibly serve anyone. You cannot serve people unless you develop and build influence.


Transcript

00:00:00.480 Make exceptionalism your standard.
00:00:03.740 We do everything with exceptionalism.
00:00:07.660 If you're going to cook dinner tonight, be exceptional.
00:00:11.840 My kids, I asked them what they wanted for dinner tonight.
00:00:13.740 They said, we want spaghetti.
00:00:15.400 That's going to be the best bowl of spaghetti they ever had.
00:00:19.820 If I show up ready to do this podcast, you can see the lighting's right.
00:00:25.240 The audio's right.
00:00:26.240 I just bought some new equipment that I'm going to be testing this weekend to make it even better
00:00:31.440 because I want to show up exceptionally.
00:00:36.480 Several years ago, I wrote a book called The Masculinity Manifesto
00:00:40.400 with the subtitle How a Man Builds Influence, Credibility, and Authority.
00:00:45.880 And specifically today, I want to unpack the influence equation,
00:00:49.680 the influence factor in that equation, I should say,
00:00:52.180 because I really believe that as a man, it's our job to build and forge and develop
00:01:00.280 a level of influence with the people that we want to serve.
00:01:03.500 If you have no influence, then you cannot possibly serve anyone.
00:01:08.980 I think influence gets a bit of a bad rap.
00:01:12.520 I think a lot of people tend to think that being influential
00:01:15.280 might have some sort of negative manipulation component to it.
00:01:20.120 And I don't believe that's the case at all.
00:01:22.180 Because we're dealing with people who get to decide whether or not they're going to be influenced by you.
00:01:27.300 And by the way, they are going to be influenced by you, whether they want to or not.
00:01:30.940 They're going to learn things about you.
00:01:34.420 They're going to read into you.
00:01:36.180 They're going to make decisions based on how you show up and how you respond.
00:01:40.300 And if you show up in a negative, destructive way, they're going to be influenced by that.
00:01:45.580 If you show up in a positive, constructive way, they're also going to be influenced by that.
00:01:49.580 So today I'm going to share with you 10 ways to become more influential in the lives of those you care about.
00:01:55.540 Your wife, your kids, your colleagues, your co-workers, your friends, your neighbors, whoever you are trying to serve.
00:02:00.820 You cannot serve people unless you develop and build influence.
00:02:04.480 Now, of these 10 things, some of you guys are probably going to agree with everything.
00:02:09.320 Some of you are probably going to question some.
00:02:13.120 And I would issue you a challenge to be able to have a constructive, valuable conversation,
00:02:20.260 not only about the topics I'm going to share with you today,
00:02:22.180 but anything else that you might think that maybe I missed or overlooked.
00:02:26.000 So let's just jump right into it today.
00:02:28.100 Number one, and these are in no particular order,
00:02:30.640 but when it comes to developing and building influence with other people,
00:02:35.200 number one is to build strength and lean muscle mass.
00:02:38.320 Now, I know that this is probably a weird place to start,
00:02:42.640 but I start here on purpose because when it comes to the way that you show up,
00:02:47.220 oftentimes your visual appearance is the first thing that people are going to see.
00:02:53.020 And if you're fat, obese, overweight, slobby, a little bit soft around the midsection,
00:03:01.480 people are just naturally going to draw some conclusions about that.
00:03:05.160 They're going to draw conclusions that you're not disciplined, that you have no goals.
00:03:10.580 They're probably going to draw conclusions that you're lazy.
00:03:13.160 Now, you might say, well, none of that is fair.
00:03:15.020 Fair has nothing to do with the way that people interpret the way that you show up.
00:03:20.200 There's something called the Adonis Index.
00:03:23.040 And the Adonis Index, if you guys want to look this up, it's a ratio.
00:03:26.480 It's a shoulder-to-waist ratio.
00:03:28.700 And the Adonis Index is measured as 1 to 1.618 ratio,
00:03:35.660 meaning that your shoulders should be, for your waist being 1, your shoulders should be 1.618.
00:03:42.300 Now, is that exactly right?
00:03:44.960 No.
00:03:45.260 But the principle is the same, that you need to have big, broad shoulders, lean waist, trim, strong, fit,
00:03:54.560 and people are going to make some inferences about you and how you're going to show up
00:03:59.160 and how you're going to serve them and how you lead yourself.
00:04:02.620 So we should all be striving towards that Adonis Index, the 1 to 1.618,
00:04:07.580 and making sure that we're eating correctly, that we're lifting weights.
00:04:14.100 Running is not enough.
00:04:15.680 Cardio is not enough.
00:04:17.500 Soft little HIIT workouts are not enough.
00:04:19.720 You need to actually go move really, really heavy weight.
00:04:23.400 Now, I know if you have different goals and objectives, that might be different.
00:04:27.080 But generally speaking, you ought to be, as a baseline,
00:04:31.720 be sitting around with big, broad shoulders, large chest, lean waist,
00:04:39.700 and that's going to really say a lot about how you show up.
00:04:42.940 Now, I'm not telling you by any means that I'm perfect on any of this.
00:04:46.260 These are things that I'm working on,
00:04:47.540 but that Adonis Index is something that I'm going to be working towards.
00:04:51.060 All right, number two, because we're talking about physical appearance.
00:04:53.840 Again, it's not all about physical appearance.
00:04:57.020 I'm going to go through some other things here shortly.
00:04:58.520 But most of the time, when people first meet you,
00:05:02.260 they're going to make impressions or references or assumptions
00:05:07.820 based on the way you look.
00:05:09.400 So lean, strong, fit, dense muscle mass, that's what they're looking at.
00:05:15.100 Number two is they're going to look at your clothes.
00:05:17.180 All right, they're going to see if you can match your clothes with your age.
00:05:21.080 Three factors here, your age, the occasion, and your build.
00:05:26.120 So your age, the occasion, and your build.
00:05:29.860 I see grown men who are 45, 50 years old,
00:05:32.680 and they're wearing these overly washed out jeans with different patterns.
00:05:38.980 They're bejazzled and bejeweled on the back pockets,
00:05:42.020 and they have like unnecessary stitching.
00:05:46.400 They wear the, what's the American fighter or whatever brand that's called, clothes.
00:05:53.380 And they're trying to make themselves look younger than they are.
00:05:57.440 These, a lot of the times, these are fit guys.
00:06:01.040 They're relatively handsome men.
00:06:03.540 And they're wearing clothes that just make them look like teenagers
00:06:08.180 or not even like teenagers, that they're trying to look like teenagers.
00:06:12.840 Guys and gals, I would say.
00:06:15.140 Dress your age, okay?
00:06:16.580 Ladies and gentlemen, dress your age, okay?
00:06:21.460 That doesn't mean you need to, ladies, you know, wear a muumuu out in public by any means
00:06:26.420 or for men to wear a three-piece suit everywhere you go
00:06:29.420 because that's how your grandpa did it.
00:06:31.120 I'm not saying that.
00:06:32.980 But dress your age, okay?
00:06:34.920 Wear jeans that fit.
00:06:36.840 Wear clothes that are at least in your decade.
00:06:40.340 That's not to say you can't be stylish.
00:06:41.840 You can, but dress your age, okay?
00:06:46.000 You don't, ladies, you don't need to look like a young, prepubescent teenager.
00:06:51.620 It looks foolish.
00:06:52.660 It looks silly.
00:06:53.800 Guys, same thing for you.
00:06:56.160 When, if I were to dress like one of my sons, I would look like a complete idiot.
00:07:02.900 And I often tell my sons they look like idiots as well, but you guys get the point.
00:07:08.020 Dress your age, also the occasion, okay?
00:07:11.380 You don't need to wear a three-piece suit everywhere you go.
00:07:14.200 If the situation calls for it and you're walking the red carpet, sure.
00:07:17.860 If it's a black tie affair, sure.
00:07:21.260 If you're going in for a job interview and it's a blue-collar job and you wear a three-piece suit,
00:07:25.480 everybody's going to laugh at you and mock you.
00:07:27.000 Of course they are.
00:07:28.720 So if that's what it is, wear a nice pair of work boots that you cleaned and conditioned
00:07:34.980 the night before that don't have holes where the steel toes are.
00:07:38.360 Wear a pair of jeans that isn't wholly gross and disgusting and dirty, but that fits you,
00:07:44.920 that's clean, that looks nice.
00:07:46.740 Wear a button-up t-shirt.
00:07:48.700 It doesn't need to be something James Bond would wear, but wear a button-up short-sleeve
00:07:53.900 collared shirt.
00:07:55.240 Tuck in, if it's appropriate.
00:07:57.340 Wear a nice leather belt and show up looking good, but also looking the part.
00:08:02.100 Always dress one level above what you're currently doing.
00:08:06.940 I just had a conversation with somebody not too long ago where they had said that the man
00:08:16.160 in their life had talked about showing up for dates, first dates, in a suit.
00:08:22.540 Like, guys, don't do that, okay?
00:08:26.460 I know what you're trying to do, but what you need to do is not only dress for the occasion,
00:08:32.220 but just one level above, not 10 levels above, just one level above.
00:08:36.940 And regarding build, I know a lot of guys that are more heavyset.
00:08:41.720 Maybe they're obese.
00:08:42.520 Maybe they're fat.
00:08:43.320 Maybe they just have a few pounds around the midsection, and they'll buy and wear baggy
00:08:46.860 clothes because they think it hides it.
00:08:48.460 You're not hiding anything, okay?
00:08:50.400 We all know what's going on.
00:08:53.220 If you are a little bit overweight, wearing clothes that fit actually will make you look
00:08:58.680 leaner.
00:08:59.600 Get the right patterns.
00:09:01.600 Vertical stripes, not horizontal.
00:09:04.440 That makes you look bigger.
00:09:05.900 Dark colors, preferably black, but always wear clothes that fit you.
00:09:10.880 They need to fit around the arms, fit in the shoulders, fit in the waist, length of jeans.
00:09:16.620 It should all fit.
00:09:17.660 It should all go together.
00:09:18.860 I know I've spent 20% of the time talking on your physical appearance, but guys, stop
00:09:26.340 overlooking this.
00:09:27.560 So many guys will say, oh, that's not important.
00:09:29.500 That shouldn't be important.
00:09:30.460 I don't care what should or shouldn't be.
00:09:32.360 I care what is, and people are making opinions and decisions based on the way you look.
00:09:38.680 Get lean, get strong, build muscle.
00:09:41.420 We don't want wiry, little flimsy spaghetti arms.
00:09:45.440 We don't want baggy, gross clothes that look like our sons picked those out for us.
00:09:49.900 We want clothes that fit.
00:09:51.160 We want to look the part.
00:09:52.180 We want to play the part.
00:09:53.020 We want to be the part.
00:09:54.000 All right.
00:09:54.260 Now, let's get into the meat of this.
00:09:56.580 So number three, learn to communicate well.
00:09:59.060 I think one of the things that I'm very good at is taking complex concepts and breaking
00:10:08.240 them down into the simplest form.
00:10:10.600 10 ways to make yourself more influential is a prime example of that.
00:10:14.700 That's something I'm really good at.
00:10:16.160 I can take those concepts, I can break them down, I can share them in a very user-friendly,
00:10:21.840 easy-to-digest manner, and it helps people see.
00:10:25.600 I don't beat around the bush.
00:10:28.140 I don't drone on and on about things, subject to interpretation on that one.
00:10:33.400 Some of you guys might think I talked too long, but learn to communicate well.
00:10:37.180 And this is the most important thing about communication.
00:10:41.560 You don't get to decide if you're communicating well.
00:10:44.580 Guess who gets to decide?
00:10:45.560 The people that you're communicating with.
00:10:48.340 So if you're trying to communicate with your kids and you think you're a great communicator,
00:10:52.180 but they're not doing what you say, or they're not buying into what you believe, then you're
00:10:56.420 not a great communicator because they're the only ones who get to decide that in that moment.
00:11:00.840 Your wife gets to decide that.
00:11:02.680 Your clients get to decide that.
00:11:04.840 Your colleagues and your coworkers, your boss, they get to decide that.
00:11:09.780 So I would spend more time and attention and energy on how people are responding to
00:11:15.540 you rather than me worrying about how well I'm communicating.
00:11:19.260 And I can just look, is this a person who's bored?
00:11:23.140 When I'm talking with them, are they distracted?
00:11:26.360 Are they disengaged?
00:11:27.580 Are they yawning?
00:11:28.500 Are they rolling their eyes?
00:11:29.740 That's a person who's not engaged in the conversation.
00:11:32.240 That's not their problem.
00:11:33.260 That's yours if you're trying to communicate a message.
00:11:37.240 Read people.
00:11:38.420 Read the room as they say.
00:11:40.640 Okay.
00:11:40.820 I can't tell you how often I talk with people and some of these people I actually really,
00:11:44.780 really like where I'm giving them all the cues like, okay, sounds good.
00:11:49.680 That's good.
00:11:50.400 Good to see you.
00:11:51.240 Glad to hear from you.
00:11:52.200 And they just won't get the hint that the conversation's over.
00:11:55.060 That's not my fault.
00:11:56.620 Now, maybe I need to be a little bit more clear in those circumstances, but if you want
00:12:00.700 to resonate with me and you want to be influential, then you dang well better understand the social
00:12:06.760 cues that are happening.
00:12:07.820 If somebody's leaning into you and they're nodding their head and their eyes are a little
00:12:13.140 wider and they're engaging in the conversation, you know you're communicating well with them.
00:12:18.320 If they're sitting back and they look bored or distracted or they're looking around or they're
00:12:25.080 giving the clues of like, hey, good to see you.
00:12:27.040 Thanks.
00:12:27.380 Appreciate you.
00:12:27.840 Yeah.
00:12:28.080 It's all like everything's good.
00:12:30.120 Like read it.
00:12:32.660 Okay.
00:12:33.720 Have a little insight.
00:12:35.360 Understand what is happening in the environment around you.
00:12:40.040 Stop being so self-absorbed.
00:12:42.020 Read the room.
00:12:44.260 What are people looking for from you?
00:12:47.240 Now, everybody's different.
00:12:48.740 Some people are going to want a lot more explanations.
00:12:51.140 Some people are going to want get down to brass tacks.
00:12:54.300 Some people are going to want to catch up about the weather and small talk.
00:12:57.620 Other people are going to want to dive deep into meaningful and significant conversations.
00:13:01.360 You're a grown man.
00:13:03.140 You can figure that out, but you can't do that unless you're willing to read how other people
00:13:08.520 are responding to you.
00:13:09.760 And if you want to be influential in their life, then you'll consider that.
00:13:14.640 All right.
00:13:15.280 Number, what is this?
00:13:16.380 Number four.
00:13:18.460 I'm making, oops, make a note here on my notes.
00:13:22.360 Make fun of yourself on occasion.
00:13:24.520 Self-deprecation is an amazing tool.
00:13:31.600 It breaks down walls.
00:13:33.900 It breaks down barriers.
00:13:35.700 It lets people know that you don't take yourself so seriously.
00:13:39.500 It lets them see that you're not driven by your ego.
00:13:42.720 It's okay to beat yourself up a little bit.
00:13:45.040 Now, I would not take that to the extreme because then it might come across as insecurity
00:13:50.440 and that's not effective communication.
00:13:52.040 But if somebody says, hey, you know what?
00:13:54.520 Yeah, you talk a lot.
00:13:55.500 You're like, you should see what I talk, how often I talk with people I like.
00:14:01.500 Okay.
00:14:01.800 Like what?
00:14:02.480 Like make jokes, laugh, enjoy life a little bit.
00:14:06.760 I've had people say, hey, Ryan, I can't believe you said this or that on social media.
00:14:11.400 You're an idiot.
00:14:12.120 And I said, you know, if only you knew what I say in real life, you'd actually think a
00:14:17.080 whole lot worse of me.
00:14:18.080 That is disarming.
00:14:22.100 I don't need to take everything so seriously.
00:14:24.860 I can lighten up.
00:14:25.780 I can loosen up.
00:14:26.600 This one is actually for me because I tend to be a more serious man by my nature.
00:14:32.300 But just insult yourself every now and then.
00:14:37.660 It catches people off guard and lets them know that you're a human being, that you don't
00:14:42.960 think so highly of yourself, that you can see the humor and the comedy and the way that
00:14:49.240 you show up.
00:14:50.220 You know, my kids always make fun of me for snoring.
00:14:52.720 I don't get defensive about that.
00:14:54.020 I do.
00:14:55.020 And we talk about having snoring contests.
00:14:57.700 They make fun of my cooking.
00:14:59.380 I don't need to get defensive about that.
00:15:01.100 It's not awesome, but I can cook a hell of a bowl of macaroni and cheese.
00:15:07.240 Like, it's just fun.
00:15:08.460 Lighten up a little bit, guys.
00:15:10.120 And just beat yourself up.
00:15:12.080 Throw yourself under the bus a little bit.
00:15:13.940 And I think people will resonate with you a little bit more deeply.
00:15:19.920 The next two are things that you should get good at saying specifically.
00:15:23.300 We talked a little bit about communication.
00:15:24.840 But number one is this.
00:15:26.000 And this is, I guess, point number five in this ways to be more influential.
00:15:28.980 Get good at saying, I don't know.
00:15:33.260 I think when we're, as men, are trying to be influential, we're trying to lead,
00:15:36.700 whether it's our families or in our professional aspirations and our careers,
00:15:40.620 we want to know everything.
00:15:43.160 Nobody expects you to know everything, okay?
00:15:45.300 Your kids don't expect you to have it all figured out.
00:15:47.220 Your wife doesn't expect you to have it all figured out.
00:15:49.100 Your colleagues, your clients, your coworkers, your neighbors, whoever,
00:15:51.860 they do not expect you to have it all figured out.
00:15:54.180 But one thing they do want from you is honesty.
00:15:56.720 So get good at saying, I don't know.
00:16:01.420 If one of your clients asks you a question and you don't know the answer,
00:16:06.520 just say it.
00:16:07.640 I don't know.
00:16:08.780 Don't make up some bullshit because they're going to see right through it.
00:16:12.440 I remember in my financial planning practice,
00:16:14.940 which is my business before Order of Man, which I started in 2015,
00:16:20.700 I thought that I had to have all the answers.
00:16:23.560 And when I realized that I can say, I don't know, but I'll find out,
00:16:27.660 I really felt a deeper connection with my clients.
00:16:31.040 Nobody was insulted.
00:16:32.760 Nobody thought less of me.
00:16:34.540 Nobody thought that I wasn't their guy, so to speak.
00:16:38.860 Anytime I said, you know what?
00:16:40.560 That's a good question.
00:16:41.540 I actually don't know the answer to that,
00:16:43.340 but I have a man in my office who does,
00:16:45.520 or I have a resource available to me,
00:16:47.520 or I've invested in this coaching.
00:16:49.280 I'm going to call my coach and ask him about that.
00:16:52.180 Every single person I ever said anything like that to
00:16:55.600 was always more respectful of me,
00:16:59.240 more influence with them,
00:17:02.160 because I was honest.
00:17:04.240 And isn't that what people want?
00:17:05.480 We all want honesty.
00:17:07.520 Don't fuck around, okay?
00:17:09.140 Like, don't tell me you know how to do something
00:17:11.900 if you don't know how to do it.
00:17:13.400 Because guess what?
00:17:14.140 Two things.
00:17:15.040 Number one, I'm going to see it.
00:17:16.400 If you tell me I can do something, but you can't,
00:17:19.780 I already know you can't do it.
00:17:22.140 Just by the way you're answering the question.
00:17:25.260 And number two, even if I let you do it,
00:17:27.420 I'm going to be sadly disappointed
00:17:29.040 because it's not going to show up
00:17:30.760 and perform the way that I need that thing to perform.
00:17:35.100 Don't do that to people.
00:17:36.240 Just be honest.
00:17:37.880 Okay, now, honesty isn't always comfortable, right?
00:17:40.580 If you have to tell your client, I don't know,
00:17:42.460 that's not a comfortable thing.
00:17:43.680 But you know what happens is when you say,
00:17:46.440 I don't know, and you truly don't know,
00:17:48.620 what people do, this is what they do in their brains.
00:17:52.340 And this is well-researched, by the way.
00:17:54.160 So what they actually do in their brains
00:17:56.420 is they say to themselves,
00:17:58.600 well, I may not have liked that answer,
00:18:01.980 but I know he's going to be truthful and honest with me.
00:18:06.540 And because he's going to be truthful and honest with me,
00:18:09.280 I know that I can trust him.
00:18:12.140 Think about it for yourself.
00:18:13.700 Anytime anybody said,
00:18:14.960 like if you went to the mechanic
00:18:16.060 and you brought your truck in,
00:18:19.320 and let's say it's having a hard time starting occasionally,
00:18:22.480 which is what my 2015 three-quarter ton GMC
00:18:25.900 is doing right now.
00:18:28.000 I brought it in the mechanic,
00:18:29.420 and the mechanic says, you know what?
00:18:31.380 I don't know.
00:18:32.420 I don't know what's going on.
00:18:33.900 I don't think they're incompetent,
00:18:35.800 especially if they say,
00:18:36.820 hey, we brought this guy in,
00:18:37.960 or we're going to look at it,
00:18:38.740 we're running these diagnoses on it.
00:18:41.240 I don't think less.
00:18:42.560 I actually think they're going to be honest with me.
00:18:44.660 So the next time I go in and the guy said for an oil change,
00:18:48.840 and the guy says, hey, we got your oil change,
00:18:50.640 but I noticed your driver's side rear tire needs to be replaced.
00:18:57.020 I'm actually going to believe him
00:18:58.640 because I know he's not bullshitting me.
00:19:02.700 See, we think that if we don't know
00:19:04.860 that people are just going to,
00:19:06.840 I don't know what, run away from us?
00:19:09.000 No, they're actually going to start believing you
00:19:11.500 because you're a man of your word.
00:19:13.820 You tell the truth.
00:19:15.040 And so when you make a recommendation,
00:19:17.020 they're actually going to believe it
00:19:18.480 because they should,
00:19:20.160 because you're truthful and you're honest.
00:19:22.200 All right, the next one here,
00:19:23.240 and this is point number six.
00:19:24.220 I said point number five was getting good at saying,
00:19:26.780 I don't know.
00:19:27.440 Point number six is get good at saying,
00:19:29.700 I don't agree with that.
00:19:32.960 Okay, if somebody says something to you,
00:19:35.160 let's say you're talking with your wife
00:19:36.540 about something one of the kids is dealing with.
00:19:40.280 You know, school's just getting started
00:19:41.660 for a lot of people across the country.
00:19:43.340 And let's say they have a bad day.
00:19:46.480 Maybe the teacher's not a great teacher
00:19:48.080 and little Timmy's having a hard time.
00:19:52.340 And your wife says, you know,
00:19:53.260 I really want to go talk to the teacher.
00:19:54.840 And you're like, don't go talk to the teacher.
00:19:56.760 Let this play out.
00:19:58.220 Let little Timmy figure it out for a minute.
00:20:01.440 You can say that.
00:20:03.120 You should say that.
00:20:05.000 Don't ever refrain from saying what you need to say,
00:20:07.720 especially in the things that are important.
00:20:09.120 So if your wife says,
00:20:09.880 I'm going to go talk to the teacher,
00:20:10.860 say, whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:20:12.320 I don't agree with that.
00:20:14.560 Let me explain why.
00:20:17.020 Now you don't need to dig in your heels.
00:20:19.260 You don't need to make it a worse situation.
00:20:21.940 But if you tell people your opinion,
00:20:24.280 even though you don't agree with theirs,
00:20:27.360 again, this goes back to the trust thing.
00:20:30.060 I want people in my corner I can trust.
00:20:32.460 I don't need yes men.
00:20:33.680 I don't need, I call them bobbleheads.
00:20:36.040 You know, you stick a bobblehead
00:20:37.220 on your dashboard of your vehicle.
00:20:38.640 And what does the bobblehead do?
00:20:39.980 It's like up and down their head,
00:20:41.260 up and down, regardless of what bump
00:20:43.000 or what turn or whatever else you go through,
00:20:45.040 up and down.
00:20:46.100 The bobblehead is just bobbing.
00:20:48.820 That's some of you.
00:20:51.060 You don't need to be a bobblehead.
00:20:53.100 Okay, you don't need to agree
00:20:54.260 with everything your wife says.
00:20:55.840 You don't need to agree
00:20:56.720 with everything your children say.
00:20:58.180 You don't need to agree
00:20:58.980 with everything your boss says.
00:21:00.700 Now, don't get me wrong.
00:21:02.840 There's a very clear way
00:21:05.760 to be tactical about this,
00:21:09.000 to exercise some tact,
00:21:11.580 to make sure you don't get yourself in trouble
00:21:13.740 with your wife or your kids or your boss
00:21:15.360 or whatever it might be.
00:21:16.580 But it's okay not to agree, respectfully.
00:21:20.280 So if your wife's like,
00:21:21.320 hey, we should do this,
00:21:22.540 hold on, babe.
00:21:24.600 I like where your head's at.
00:21:26.160 I know you want to serve little Timmy
00:21:27.520 and that's important to both of us,
00:21:29.440 but I actually don't agree with that.
00:21:30.900 And here's why.
00:21:32.440 And then make your case.
00:21:34.740 If your boss comes to you and says,
00:21:36.680 hey, you know what?
00:21:38.380 Steve, like we've got this thing going on.
00:21:40.700 We've got this initiative
00:21:41.520 and we need to do X, Y, and Z.
00:21:43.000 And in your mind, you're like,
00:21:44.080 I see it completely different.
00:21:47.900 Man, what if you had the balls
00:21:50.080 to say, hey, boss,
00:21:52.840 I might do this privately, by the way.
00:21:55.520 Okay, like we don't want to call our bosses
00:21:57.220 out in front of other people.
00:21:58.640 But I might sit down with my boss
00:21:59.980 and I might call him and say,
00:22:01.180 hey, boss, you know,
00:22:01.840 you talked about it at the conference this morning.
00:22:03.640 And man, I had some thoughts
00:22:04.860 I wanted to share with you
00:22:05.820 just based on some experience I've had.
00:22:07.520 Are you okay with that?
00:22:08.200 And he's going to say,
00:22:08.780 yeah, I'm good with that.
00:22:09.700 We can meet today at three o'clock.
00:22:11.640 And so you go into his office at three o'clock.
00:22:13.580 Remember, it's just you and him.
00:22:14.920 That's the caveat.
00:22:16.280 And you say, hey, boss,
00:22:17.280 you said this thing about this initiative.
00:22:19.420 And man, I've been thinking about it all day.
00:22:23.360 I don't agree with it.
00:22:25.540 I think what you're trying to accomplish is right.
00:22:29.480 But the one thing I've seen
00:22:30.940 based on where I'm in the department
00:22:32.840 and what I've seen from other people
00:22:34.620 is that this thing also needs to be addressed.
00:22:38.340 And so I would say,
00:22:39.720 what if we took your solution
00:22:41.760 and we just added this component to it
00:22:44.840 or tweaked this or adjusted that?
00:22:47.480 Be smart.
00:22:48.360 Okay, this is sensitive territory.
00:22:50.220 Be smart.
00:22:51.300 But I think that most bosses,
00:22:54.500 I do, I do believe this,
00:22:56.320 that most bosses would,
00:22:58.160 if you did it properly
00:22:59.060 and you did it in private,
00:23:00.560 would say,
00:23:01.940 hmm, I haven't considered that before.
00:23:05.440 Or I didn't think about that.
00:23:07.040 And that's interesting.
00:23:08.800 Tell me more.
00:23:10.100 And what you end up doing
00:23:11.040 is building more credibility
00:23:12.580 and influence with your boss
00:23:14.100 than just sitting back
00:23:15.460 and being that bobblehead
00:23:16.540 that we talked about.
00:23:17.820 Yes, boss, whatever you say, boss.
00:23:19.860 Because you know what's going to happen?
00:23:21.180 You already know the project's going to fail.
00:23:24.620 Don't let it fail.
00:23:25.940 Do what you need to do
00:23:26.860 to ensure that it doesn't.
00:23:28.500 All right, number seven.
00:23:31.940 Yes, seven.
00:23:32.960 Be ruthlessly consistent.
00:23:36.400 It's really important, men,
00:23:37.820 that when we show up for people
00:23:39.400 that we aren't scatterbrained,
00:23:41.320 that the way we show up today
00:23:42.740 isn't the way that we show up tomorrow
00:23:44.520 and that we always show up
00:23:46.360 with a unified response.
00:23:50.860 This is hard.
00:23:51.920 This is very hard.
00:23:53.480 And I'll give you just a very broad example.
00:23:57.300 I've got four kids,
00:23:58.660 three sons and a daughter.
00:24:00.380 And my sons and my daughter,
00:24:02.240 they know how to trigger me.
00:24:03.700 I don't know that they're doing it on purpose,
00:24:05.500 but they know how to push the buttons.
00:24:07.080 Maybe they are.
00:24:09.080 And I have to be very deliberate
00:24:11.080 and intentional
00:24:11.980 about the way that I respond to them,
00:24:13.900 especially in those moments of being triggered.
00:24:15.820 Because the last thing I want
00:24:17.340 is to show up in a way
00:24:19.320 that isn't conducive to their growth
00:24:21.160 and their development
00:24:23.780 as children who are working
00:24:26.100 to become young adults.
00:24:29.000 If I lose my cool,
00:24:31.560 if I get offended,
00:24:32.980 if I get upset,
00:24:34.080 if I fly off the handle,
00:24:35.660 and I've done all of those things.
00:24:37.100 I'm not saying I haven't.
00:24:39.000 That doesn't bolster influence with them.
00:24:41.700 What bolsters influence
00:24:42.720 is knowing that every time
00:24:44.240 they come talk to me,
00:24:45.340 whether it's they won
00:24:46.900 the grand prize at the science fair
00:24:50.160 or they got sent
00:24:53.840 to the principal's office
00:24:55.080 for bullying a kid today.
00:24:57.220 If they know
00:24:58.520 that they're always going to get
00:25:00.680 the same dad,
00:25:02.440 whether it's something positive
00:25:03.800 or something negative,
00:25:04.760 that's going to build
00:25:06.580 and elicit a level of trust
00:25:09.000 and influence with them.
00:25:11.940 Roger Kipling talks about it
00:25:13.580 in his poem,
00:25:14.440 If,
00:25:14.700 and he talks,
00:25:15.380 I'm obviously paraphrasing here,
00:25:17.540 but he talks about a man's ability
00:25:19.380 to meet both failure and triumph
00:25:22.700 with the same level of response.
00:25:26.000 If you can do that with your kids,
00:25:28.080 you will have much more
00:25:29.540 influence with them.
00:25:32.700 If you can do that with your boss,
00:25:34.320 your clients,
00:25:35.120 whoever you might be interacting with,
00:25:37.040 and you're always the same guy
00:25:38.740 across the board,
00:25:40.140 everybody's going to bet on you
00:25:41.780 because they know
00:25:42.740 how you're going to show up.
00:25:45.720 By the way,
00:25:46.460 that also applies
00:25:47.200 if you're an asshole,
00:25:48.020 always.
00:25:49.180 If you're always the asshole,
00:25:50.620 they're never going to go to you
00:25:51.860 because they know
00:25:52.400 you're always going to be that person.
00:25:53.740 But if you're always
00:25:54.480 the steadfast rock
00:25:56.340 that we as men
00:25:57.640 are designed to be
00:25:58.900 and called to be,
00:26:00.400 then I think
00:26:01.560 they're going to have
00:26:02.260 more trust
00:26:03.680 and influence
00:26:04.420 with you.
00:26:05.800 All right.
00:26:06.300 Number eight,
00:26:08.300 make exceptionalism
00:26:10.120 your standard.
00:26:11.620 We do everything
00:26:13.020 with exceptionalism.
00:26:15.380 If you're going to cook
00:26:18.140 dinner tonight,
00:26:19.160 be exceptional.
00:26:20.920 My kids,
00:26:21.680 I asked them what they wanted
00:26:22.340 for dinner tonight.
00:26:23.020 They said,
00:26:23.360 we want spaghetti.
00:26:24.700 That's going to be the best
00:26:26.300 bowl of spaghetti
00:26:27.940 they ever had.
00:26:28.680 if I show up
00:26:31.500 ready to do this podcast,
00:26:33.020 you can see
00:26:34.220 the lighting's right.
00:26:36.300 The audio's right.
00:26:38.060 I just bought
00:26:38.880 some new equipment
00:26:39.560 that I'm going to
00:26:40.180 be testing this weekend
00:26:41.480 to make it even better
00:26:42.840 because I want to show up
00:26:44.780 exceptionally.
00:26:48.220 When I play with my kids,
00:26:50.660 I'm fully present.
00:26:51.840 My phone's not with me
00:26:52.680 because that's not exceptional.
00:26:54.540 When I go to work,
00:26:55.580 I already know
00:26:55.980 what I'm going to do
00:26:56.620 throughout the day
00:26:57.220 because that's what
00:26:57.860 it requires
00:26:58.460 to be exceptional.
00:27:00.400 When I have a podcast
00:27:01.440 interview
00:27:01.940 and I'm interviewing
00:27:02.600 another man,
00:27:03.400 I'm prepared
00:27:04.000 and ready to go
00:27:04.700 and I show up
00:27:05.480 five minutes early
00:27:06.300 because that's exceptional.
00:27:08.660 Exceptionalism
00:27:09.060 is the standard.
00:27:11.560 Not maybe,
00:27:12.600 not I'm showing up
00:27:13.440 a little late,
00:27:14.120 not they'll forgive me,
00:27:15.260 not oh,
00:27:15.740 it's not a big deal.
00:27:16.640 No.
00:27:18.020 Exceptionalism
00:27:18.460 in all things,
00:27:20.040 in all ways,
00:27:21.140 when you get up
00:27:23.340 in the morning,
00:27:24.700 you get right up.
00:27:27.700 When you groom yourself
00:27:30.160 and brush your teeth
00:27:31.160 and shower
00:27:31.760 and you trim your beard
00:27:33.560 and you brush your teeth
00:27:34.660 and you make sure
00:27:35.540 you have good breath
00:27:36.340 and you look the best
00:27:37.320 for when you're ready
00:27:37.980 to go into work.
00:27:39.840 When you go into work
00:27:41.500 and you get in your car,
00:27:43.040 it's not a pigsty,
00:27:43.960 there's not wrappers
00:27:44.800 and bullshit
00:27:45.500 and trash
00:27:46.480 and all sorts
00:27:47.760 of nonsense left over.
00:27:49.020 No, it's clean
00:27:49.800 and it's neat
00:27:50.880 and it's orderly
00:27:51.780 and it's organized
00:27:53.800 because exceptionalism
00:27:55.340 is the standard.
00:27:57.840 You go wash your truck
00:27:59.280 and you get a detailed
00:28:00.680 and you pay attention
00:28:02.120 to those details.
00:28:03.200 You show up to work on time,
00:28:04.780 ready to do
00:28:05.440 what needs to be done.
00:28:06.880 You have good conversations
00:28:08.040 with good people.
00:28:08.920 When people try to distract you,
00:28:10.280 even if it's unintentional,
00:28:11.760 you have boundaries in place
00:28:12.940 that say,
00:28:13.240 hey, I'd love to talk with you.
00:28:14.140 I can't do it right now
00:28:14.880 because I got work to do.
00:28:16.380 But we can talk today
00:28:17.460 over lunch at noon.
00:28:18.580 Would you like to do that?
00:28:20.340 And then when you go
00:28:21.100 to lunch with those people,
00:28:21.980 you actually sit down
00:28:22.800 and you pay attention to them.
00:28:23.900 You're thoughtful
00:28:24.320 about where you're going.
00:28:25.340 You're thoughtful
00:28:25.720 about what you're eating
00:28:26.820 because you're exceptional.
00:28:30.220 Everything is done
00:28:31.180 with an exceptionalism.
00:28:32.420 And by the way,
00:28:33.480 if you're not going
00:28:34.580 to be exceptional with it,
00:28:35.800 just don't do it.
00:28:37.540 I'm not saying
00:28:38.220 you need to be the best
00:28:39.300 because that's what
00:28:40.380 a lot of people hear.
00:28:41.740 Ryan say,
00:28:42.280 I need to be the best
00:28:42.980 at everything I do.
00:28:43.900 You know what?
00:28:44.260 I'm not saying that at all.
00:28:45.360 If I went to go play
00:28:47.600 a pickup game of basketball
00:28:48.760 with my buddies tonight,
00:28:50.260 I would not be
00:28:51.040 the best basketball player there.
00:28:52.880 In fact,
00:28:53.400 it's a very high likelihood
00:28:55.140 that I'd be
00:28:56.180 the worst basketball player there.
00:28:58.400 But you know what I'll do?
00:28:59.760 Show up on time.
00:29:01.700 Wear the appropriate attire.
00:29:03.780 I'll look good
00:29:04.400 while I'm doing it.
00:29:05.160 I'll be a good team player.
00:29:06.500 I'll communicate effectively.
00:29:07.940 When I miss the layup
00:29:08.940 or miss a bad shot
00:29:09.760 or miss a pass,
00:29:10.420 I'll make fun of myself
00:29:11.780 as we talked about
00:29:13.120 in point number three or four
00:29:14.380 is that self-deprecation.
00:29:18.960 I'm going to be exceptional.
00:29:20.600 I'm going to be
00:29:21.180 the best mediocre pickup
00:29:23.660 game of basketball player ever.
00:29:26.880 And you should be that too.
00:29:29.060 You should always be exceptional.
00:29:31.620 Not the best.
00:29:33.000 Exceptional.
00:29:34.460 Subjective.
00:29:35.300 Exceptional at what you do.
00:29:37.000 All right.
00:29:37.500 Number nine.
00:29:38.880 Follow through on your commitments.
00:29:41.020 That's it.
00:29:42.160 If you say you're going
00:29:42.840 to be there at noon,
00:29:43.460 be there at noon.
00:29:44.280 If you say you're going
00:29:44.820 to do a thing,
00:29:45.480 do a thing.
00:29:46.600 If you tell somebody
00:29:49.160 that they can count on you,
00:29:50.720 make sure they count on you.
00:29:52.600 If you say you're going
00:29:53.420 to do some research
00:29:54.160 on a project
00:29:55.120 or a product
00:29:57.020 or whatever it might be,
00:29:58.000 you better well do that.
00:29:59.300 If you don't,
00:30:00.060 you're undermining your influence
00:30:01.360 and people are going
00:30:02.200 to start to realize it
00:30:03.120 and they're going to say,
00:30:03.760 this is a guy,
00:30:04.420 even subconsciously,
00:30:05.680 this is a guy
00:30:06.440 who can't be trusted.
00:30:08.120 I can tell him to do things.
00:30:09.420 I can tell him I want things.
00:30:10.420 But at the end of the day,
00:30:11.160 I can't rely on him
00:30:12.000 because I don't know
00:30:12.540 if he's going to show up.
00:30:13.720 Is that you?
00:30:14.880 It has been me.
00:30:16.300 And in some instances,
00:30:17.640 it still is.
00:30:21.000 My son,
00:30:21.880 my youngest son,
00:30:22.820 is really good
00:30:23.660 at calling me out on this.
00:30:25.740 He'll say,
00:30:26.300 for example,
00:30:26.840 Dad,
00:30:27.080 you said.
00:30:27.980 And you know what?
00:30:28.700 He's right.
00:30:29.820 I did say.
00:30:31.300 So I ought to do.
00:30:33.120 And if I'm not going to do,
00:30:34.680 then I shouldn't say.
00:30:36.620 So for example,
00:30:37.660 he wants to earn some money
00:30:38.880 for some Pokemon cards.
00:30:40.220 That's what he really wants
00:30:40.940 right now.
00:30:42.280 And last night,
00:30:42.940 he said,
00:30:43.200 hey, Dad,
00:30:43.520 can I clean the house
00:30:44.280 in the morning?
00:30:44.980 And I thought about it.
00:30:45.700 I'm like,
00:30:45.900 that sounds pretty good.
00:30:46.660 I'd love him to clean the house.
00:30:47.600 And my knee-jerk reaction was,
00:30:49.360 you know,
00:30:49.600 I want to say yes to him.
00:30:50.580 But I thought to myself,
00:30:51.540 you know what?
00:30:51.840 I've got an Iron Council call
00:30:53.080 in the morning.
00:30:54.640 The kids need to get ready
00:30:55.600 for the day.
00:30:56.360 I've got to organize a few things.
00:30:57.620 I've got to get ready for the day.
00:30:58.800 And so the answer is no,
00:31:00.100 because I'm not just,
00:31:01.240 I'm just not going to do that.
00:31:02.180 I'm not going to give him tasks
00:31:03.740 and assignments
00:31:04.280 and hold him accountable.
00:31:05.060 I'm not going to do it.
00:31:06.020 So I said,
00:31:06.440 hey, bud,
00:31:06.860 I love that you want
00:31:07.560 to clean the house.
00:31:08.600 But no,
00:31:09.080 we're not going to do that
00:31:09.760 this morning,
00:31:10.200 but we'll do it tonight.
00:31:12.360 And when he gets here
00:31:13.200 this evening,
00:31:13.620 then you better believe
00:31:16.120 that that's exactly
00:31:17.180 what we're going to do
00:31:17.760 because I said so.
00:31:20.440 We talked about this
00:31:21.600 on our brotherhood call,
00:31:23.060 the Iron Council this morning,
00:31:24.800 this idea of accountability
00:31:26.980 and the highest tier
00:31:28.000 of accountability
00:31:28.520 is doing the things
00:31:29.440 that you said you would do
00:31:30.320 because you said
00:31:31.440 you would do them.
00:31:32.820 Not because you have
00:31:33.600 a system in place,
00:31:34.540 not because you know
00:31:35.240 somebody else
00:31:35.700 is going to check in on you
00:31:36.660 and there's nothing wrong
00:31:37.400 with that,
00:31:37.880 but the highest tier
00:31:38.920 of accountability
00:31:39.500 is you're going to do a thing
00:31:41.700 because you said
00:31:42.820 you would do it.
00:31:45.360 So if you said,
00:31:46.280 hey, you know what,
00:31:46.920 Saturday morning,
00:31:47.600 I'm going to get up,
00:31:48.440 I'm going to go run five miles
00:31:50.160 and then you wake up
00:31:51.600 and you're like,
00:31:52.700 you know,
00:31:53.700 it's late,
00:31:54.580 I'm tired,
00:31:55.740 I'm comfortable,
00:31:56.980 I had a long week
00:31:58.360 and so I'm not going
00:31:59.760 to do that today.
00:32:00.860 Nope, wrong answer.
00:32:02.960 You are going to do it
00:32:04.120 because last night
00:32:05.580 you said you were
00:32:06.540 and especially
00:32:08.060 if you communicated
00:32:08.900 to other people
00:32:09.700 because they're going
00:32:10.180 to see you.
00:32:11.200 Your wife's going to see
00:32:12.360 that last night
00:32:13.200 you said,
00:32:13.840 I'm going to go run five miles
00:32:15.020 and this morning
00:32:15.620 you woke your ass up
00:32:16.540 and you didn't go run.
00:32:17.700 Your kids are going to see that.
00:32:19.460 They might be disappointed
00:32:20.320 that you're not going
00:32:20.880 to have a donut with them
00:32:21.720 in the morning
00:32:22.100 like you normally do,
00:32:22.960 but you know what
00:32:23.460 they're going to believe
00:32:24.000 is that dad
00:32:24.640 is a man of his word.
00:32:27.040 Do the shit you say
00:32:28.280 you're going to do
00:32:28.860 always.
00:32:30.200 All right,
00:32:30.600 the last one here guys,
00:32:32.380 this one is for me
00:32:33.320 more than anybody else.
00:32:34.460 Number 10,
00:32:35.280 laugh, smile,
00:32:35.880 and be more light.
00:32:37.600 Laugh, smile,
00:32:39.060 and be more light.
00:32:40.380 Not everything
00:32:41.300 is catastrophic.
00:32:42.900 Not everything
00:32:43.720 is the end of the world.
00:32:45.340 Not everything
00:32:46.320 ought to be taken
00:32:47.340 to the level
00:32:47.940 of seriousness
00:32:48.580 that you make it.
00:32:51.760 Just lighten up.
00:32:53.560 Okay,
00:32:53.760 I need to do this.
00:32:55.100 Choke,
00:32:55.660 laugh,
00:32:56.100 play,
00:32:56.660 smile,
00:32:57.960 tease,
00:32:58.880 wrestle,
00:33:00.220 tickle your kids.
00:33:01.180 Like,
00:33:01.380 these are the things
00:33:02.080 that are important.
00:33:03.000 Like,
00:33:03.140 just enjoy life
00:33:04.600 a little bit more.
00:33:06.460 Be lighthearted.
00:33:07.620 Laugh at yourself.
00:33:08.500 Laugh at other people.
00:33:11.000 Diffuse situations.
00:33:14.240 It's okay.
00:33:16.320 It's okay.
00:33:17.480 You know,
00:33:17.620 I'm 44 years old now.
00:33:20.440 God willing,
00:33:21.280 I'm halfway through my life.
00:33:24.200 And I just,
00:33:25.500 I'm a serious person
00:33:26.860 by nature,
00:33:27.720 but I think
00:33:28.460 lighthearted people
00:33:30.200 are often just
00:33:31.500 trusted a little bit more.
00:33:34.420 And by the way,
00:33:35.020 when I say lighthearted,
00:33:35.980 I don't mean flippant.
00:33:38.340 Because I know people like that.
00:33:39.580 They're lighthearted.
00:33:40.180 They're fun.
00:33:40.780 I really enjoy them,
00:33:41.640 but I can't trust them.
00:33:42.900 That's not what I'm saying.
00:33:44.420 I want lighthearted people
00:33:45.660 in my life
00:33:46.200 who I know
00:33:46.680 will actually get things
00:33:47.540 done.
00:33:48.160 You can have both.
00:33:49.120 You should be both.
00:33:50.360 So be more lighthearted.
00:33:52.260 So those are my 10 ways
00:33:53.460 to make yourself
00:33:54.040 more influential.
00:33:55.280 You know,
00:33:55.580 and I did put
00:33:56.480 a little bonus on here
00:33:57.440 because I thought about this
00:33:58.340 after I came up
00:34:00.480 with my 10.
00:34:01.300 And here it is.
00:34:02.360 Never let people
00:34:03.220 see you sweat.
00:34:04.980 Never let them
00:34:05.640 see you sweat.
00:34:07.120 Nothing is hard.
00:34:09.160 You know,
00:34:09.720 if you're really
00:34:10.740 struggling at work,
00:34:11.820 you're a leader
00:34:12.280 and you're really
00:34:12.840 struggling
00:34:13.300 getting the project done,
00:34:14.540 your job
00:34:15.520 is to diffuse,
00:34:16.560 to deescalate,
00:34:17.600 to make everything lighter.
00:34:19.160 And then if you need
00:34:20.360 to complain or vent,
00:34:21.600 complain to appear,
00:34:22.560 complain higher,
00:34:23.600 never complain lower,
00:34:24.760 never let people
00:34:25.900 see you sweat.
00:34:28.800 You know,
00:34:29.300 I remember
00:34:29.980 when I was playing sports,
00:34:31.340 if I got frustrated
00:34:33.920 or in wrestling,
00:34:35.420 if I got hurt
00:34:36.300 or even jiu-jitsu,
00:34:37.200 like when training jiu-jitsu,
00:34:39.960 you know,
00:34:40.220 if somebody catches you,
00:34:43.100 maybe they've got you
00:34:44.260 dead to rights.
00:34:45.160 You know,
00:34:45.400 they've got you
00:34:45.900 in a solid arm bar
00:34:47.740 or they have you
00:34:50.320 in a Kimura.
00:34:52.180 Don't,
00:34:52.660 don't scramble around
00:34:55.580 like a chicken
00:34:56.860 with his head cut off.
00:34:57.960 Like,
00:34:58.140 just relax.
00:34:59.680 Don't let them
00:35:00.400 see you sweat
00:35:01.120 because I've had this
00:35:02.540 happen more often
00:35:03.280 than not
00:35:03.820 is they got me
00:35:05.840 in a,
00:35:06.420 let's say,
00:35:06.780 Kimura
00:35:07.180 that's kind of like
00:35:08.040 60 to 70% there
00:35:10.160 but I'm not flailing around
00:35:11.760 and flopping around
00:35:12.660 and like showing my cards
00:35:15.080 and you know
00:35:15.860 what people do
00:35:16.500 in that case
00:35:18.140 a lot of the times
00:35:19.260 is they stop
00:35:20.380 because they don't think
00:35:21.020 it's working.
00:35:21.580 It was working.
00:35:22.940 I just didn't let people
00:35:24.120 see me sweat.
00:35:26.000 When my kids
00:35:26.940 are busting my ass
00:35:29.120 about whatever it might be
00:35:30.260 because they're kids,
00:35:31.780 I don't need to lose my cool.
00:35:33.460 Those are kids.
00:35:35.860 I don't need to let them
00:35:37.000 see me sweat.
00:35:38.400 I'm cool.
00:35:39.040 I'm calm.
00:35:39.540 I'm collected.
00:35:40.160 It's like the James Bond
00:35:41.700 of fatherhood
00:35:44.840 or the James Bond
00:35:46.040 of
00:35:46.760 your career aspirations
00:35:50.140 or being a husband.
00:35:51.700 Like,
00:35:51.980 we all ought to take some
00:35:53.220 lessons
00:35:55.460 from that.
00:35:58.520 Like,
00:35:58.840 be cool.
00:35:59.560 Be calm.
00:36:00.260 Be collected.
00:36:01.080 You can lose your mind later.
00:36:02.660 You can break down later.
00:36:03.680 You can cry
00:36:04.300 if you have to
00:36:05.040 later
00:36:05.640 but don't do it now.
00:36:08.240 Never let them
00:36:09.060 see you sweat.
00:36:09.700 All right, guys.
00:36:10.800 Those are my
00:36:11.460 10 plus
00:36:13.340 one
00:36:13.920 lessons
00:36:14.520 for making yourself
00:36:16.160 more influential.
00:36:17.300 If I missed anything
00:36:18.300 or if I'm off on anything,
00:36:20.300 let me know in the comments.
00:36:22.080 We're very active
00:36:22.920 on
00:36:23.240 Apple
00:36:24.240 podcasts
00:36:25.240 Apple podcast.
00:36:26.400 But also,
00:36:27.340 I've seen Spotify
00:36:28.440 really growing.
00:36:29.280 We have over
00:36:30.080 100,000
00:36:31.920 people who are subscribed
00:36:34.080 to this show
00:36:36.120 on Spotify.
00:36:37.620 And I'd love to
00:36:38.500 double that.
00:36:39.780 I'd love to get to 200,000.
00:36:41.320 But if we
00:36:41.920 strive for 200,000,
00:36:43.980 we only get to 150.
00:36:45.060 I'm good with that too.
00:36:45.840 So if you haven't yet,
00:36:47.860 subscribe.
00:36:48.600 The other cool thing
00:36:49.160 about Spotify
00:36:49.780 is that you can leave
00:36:51.020 reviews
00:36:52.380 and comments.
00:36:54.340 And another cool thing
00:36:55.420 on Spotify
00:36:55.960 is that we are now
00:36:57.160 starting to upload
00:36:57.980 all of our videos.
00:36:59.040 So if you
00:36:59.880 follow us on Spotify,
00:37:01.600 not only can you get
00:37:02.880 the audio,
00:37:03.560 but you could also get
00:37:04.340 the video
00:37:05.060 podcast available
00:37:06.960 not on YouTube
00:37:07.880 but directly on Spotify.
00:37:09.540 So head over there.
00:37:11.080 If you go to
00:37:11.920 orderofman.com
00:37:12.720 slash Spotify,
00:37:13.620 you'll find it.
00:37:15.040 All right, guys.
00:37:16.080 Make yourself influential
00:37:17.160 in all ways.
00:37:17.700 You have your marching orders.
00:37:18.660 I give you 10 plus 1 ways
00:37:19.960 to make yourself
00:37:20.620 more influential.
00:37:21.400 I hope you do
00:37:21.880 and I hope this serves you.
00:37:23.220 And if you have any feedback
00:37:23.940 for me, let me know.
00:37:25.020 Until then,
00:37:25.440 go out there,
00:37:25.880 take action
00:37:26.420 and become the man
00:37:27.560 you are meant to be.
00:37:33.300 Thank you for listening
00:37:34.180 to the Order of Man podcast.
00:37:36.180 You're ready to take charge
00:37:37.320 of your life
00:37:37.900 and be more of the man
00:37:39.040 you were meant to be.
00:37:40.300 We invite you to join the Order
00:37:41.620 at orderofman.com.