Order of Man - 100% or 0%, No In-Between

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart

00:00:04.980 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.420 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong. This is your life. This is

00:00:17.020 who you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,

00:00:22.720 you can call yourself a man. Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Mickler.

00:00:27.640 I'm the host and the founder of the Order of Man podcast and movement. Welcome here.

00:00:32.180 Welcome back. If you don't know what we're all about here, my mission is to reclaim and restore

00:00:37.720 masculinity. Now, I have a lot of questions about what that means. Well, what it means is that we

00:00:43.640 embrace masculinity as we once did. Now, there's ways that we can improve and we always should

00:00:49.340 be considering improving how we show up as men and how we serve our families and our neighbors

00:00:53.640 and our communities. But the reality is that society collectively seems to be more and more dismissive

00:01:01.120 of masculinity and what it means to be a man. And of course, there's even attempts to completely

00:01:08.520 undermine masculinity altogether or to villainize it and make it something that is not only not needed,

00:01:17.480 but not even wanted in society. And it's a bit ironic to say the least because it's masculinity

00:01:23.760 that has afforded certain individuals who like to complain about it, all the luxuries they have

00:01:31.140 when it comes to complaining about it. For example, the technology or the freedom that they enjoy,

00:01:38.540 the liberty, the opportunity they have to share their opinions. And certainly they have a right to do

00:01:43.320 that because men have fought for that right. It's just a little, like I said, ironic considering it's

00:01:49.280 the incredible men that have come before who have afforded us these rights. And my fear is that at some

00:01:57.520 point we may need to regain or recontrol or fight again for those rights because we're so dismissive of

00:02:05.420 it. So that is my mission. That is my goal. And to that end, we have interviews with incredible

00:02:13.020 men. I think we've done over 370 interviews now. We also have our Ask Me Anything where we field

00:02:19.340 questions from you guys. We've got events and we've got courses and we've got all sorts of things going

00:02:24.800 on to help this noble calling. And today we've got this Friday field notes, which are thoughts that

00:02:31.180 have been bouncing around in my brain throughout the week based on conversations that I've had.

00:02:37.060 And I had a conversation a couple of days ago about this topic today, 100 or 0%. I'm going to

00:02:42.180 explain that in a minute and what that means because it's an important concept and one that

00:02:46.640 I've really had to learn the hard way in many ways over the past, even six months or so. Before I do,

00:02:53.560 I do want to mention if you're a father and you want to create a rite of passage for your son,

00:03:00.120 you don't need to do this alone. In fact, you don't need to recreate or reinvent the wheel. We've got a

00:03:04.960 program on May 28th on my property here in Maine. And I've partnered with Bedros Koulian with FitBody

00:03:15.080 Bootcamp. And of course, he's got his MDK program and he's also got another program called Squire

00:03:21.680 program. And I partnered with him in coming out here with his crew and his team, Ray Cash Care and the rest

00:03:28.340 of the guys. And we're going to help you with the rite of passage for your son. It's a 15 hour event.

00:03:35.280 It's designed to push you physically, mentally, emotionally, and get you to have a deeper

00:03:41.260 connection with your son, help you learn what you need to help him as a young man, learn what he needs

00:03:47.540 in order to transition into manhood. So that's on May 28th. We've already filled up half the spots.

00:03:53.200 I think we have 11 or 12 more spots available. And if you go to squireprogram.com slash Ryan,

00:04:02.180 squireprogram.com slash Ryan, you can get signed up and come out and visit me, Bedros, Ray, Matt,

00:04:10.460 Steve, Aaron, the rest of the crew. And then the most important thing is to be able to do this with

00:04:16.660 your son. So check it out, squireprogram.com slash Ryan. All right, guys, with all that said and out of

00:04:22.560 the way, I want to talk with you about this concept of 100% or zero. So my wife and I were talking the

00:04:29.820 other day, I think we were on a drive and I can't even remember the context of why this got brought

00:04:35.260 up. But I remember saying to her that I'm not interested in doing things at 50%. If I'm not

00:04:43.880 100% on board with something, whether it's a new product design or a new project I'm working on

00:04:51.020 or an opportunity that may have presented itself, whatever it shows up as, whatever form those

00:04:57.580 things show up as. If I'm not 100% in, I'm 100% out. So I'm 100% doing it or I'm not doing it at all.

00:05:06.720 I'm not going to half-ass anything. I'm not going to go at a speed that I'm less than capable of

00:05:13.540 doing. What is it that Ron Swanson says? Never half-ass two things, whole-ass one thing.

00:05:20.460 That's what I'm talking about, guys, is that if you're going to do something, go all in 100%,

00:05:26.700 balls to the wall. And if you're not willing to commit to that level, then maybe you ought to

00:05:31.580 consider not doing it at all. And I say that because life is so busy. We have so many different

00:05:39.460 things and opportunities and events and sports outings and activities and projects and demands

00:05:47.300 for our time and attention. And because we're inundated with all of this, which in many ways

00:05:52.700 is wonderful, we want to be helpful. We want to add value. We want to find meaning and significance

00:05:59.740 in our life. And so what do we naturally do? We say yes to everything. And the problem with that,

00:06:06.400 the primary problem anyways, is that we end up not being very good at anything. We kind of get by and

00:06:13.560 we float and we coast and we sneak by and we get the project in at just the right time, but we don't

00:06:18.960 commit fully to it. And we end up putting a product out, whether it's you personally or a task at work

00:06:25.700 that you're working on or a piece of art in whatever form that looks like. And it's just not as good as

00:06:32.200 it can be. And then we exhaust ourselves, right? You run yourself into the ground as a man because

00:06:39.000 you're running everywhere. You're letting other people dictate your schedule. You're not interested

00:06:43.180 in doing certain things, but you do many ways because you want to be helpful. And it's just not

00:06:47.380 a great path to being productive in the world. So I'm going to give you a few pointers here

00:06:53.660 that'll help you go a hundred percent or zero percent. But before I do, let me tell you this.

00:07:00.200 When I say go a hundred percent on things, I'm not saying that you need to be the best in the world.

00:07:05.920 Like if you're going to decide to run a marathon, that you need to win the marathon. Now,

00:07:09.960 if that's a goal of yours, all the power to you, but that's not what I'm saying.

00:07:13.500 Okay. Cause what I inevitably, when I bring up this conversation, I have guys who will say things

00:07:18.720 like, well, you know, Ryan, I don't need to be the best at everything I do. Just because you go a

00:07:24.420 hundred percent doesn't mean that you're trying to be the best at everything you do compared to

00:07:28.600 somebody else, but you dang well better be your best. And so if I'm going to be a father, if I'm

00:07:34.380 fathering in the moment, because my work is done, I'm there with my kids, we're playing a game

00:07:39.540 or we're wrestling in the front room, uh, or even we're watching TV together or, or just eating

00:07:45.500 dinner. Then I better dang well be the best father that I can possibly be in that moment.

00:07:51.600 That's what I mean by a hundred percent. I'm not saying that if you're interested in learning how

00:07:56.480 to play the guitar or pick up a paintbrush, uh, or start a podcast as a hobby or do something that

00:08:02.680 just might be interesting to you that you need to turn it into some, you know, business empire.

00:08:07.940 That doesn't mean 100%. What I'm saying is 100% effort. And that looks different for everybody

00:08:16.120 because you're different than me. What I can do is different than what you can do. What you can do

00:08:20.260 is different than what I, or somebody else can do, but you need to go 100% in your own way. And if

00:08:26.280 you're like, well, Ryan, I'm not interested in turning my, my artwork into a business. Fine. I'm not

00:08:31.060 telling you and you need to, I'm saying go all in on it, invest in it, invest in yourself, carve out

00:08:39.100 time, make it an important part of your day or your week or your schedule or your planning, your

00:08:43.900 systems, et cetera. So here's what I would say to you. Number one, take inventory of your life guys.

00:08:50.880 If you haven't documented what you're doing on a daily and weekly basis, there is a very,

00:08:56.520 very strong likelihood that you are wasting time throughout the day on trivial, meaningless,

00:09:04.360 unimportant, potentially even destructive or harmful activities. So what you need to do first

00:09:10.820 and foremost is you need to start tracking what it is you're doing and how you're spending your time.

00:09:18.060 It's been said that what gets measured gets improved. So the first step to being able to

00:09:24.160 have the capacity and the margin to go a hundred percent on the things that are important to you

00:09:28.800 is knowing how you're spending your time right now. What scheduler do you use? Are you writing it all

00:09:35.380 out as you go? And you won't need to do this forever, but I think it's pretty enlightening.

00:09:38.940 It has been for me as I've tracked how I'm spending my time throughout the day and where all that wasted

00:09:44.660 effort is. It might be in a meaningless project. It might be running around trying to appease

00:09:51.500 everybody else. It might be sitting on the pot, dinking around on your phone for an hour when

00:09:57.440 you could be working or you could be painting or you could be starting that side business,

00:10:02.340 but you better take an inventory of the way that you spend your life. I would do this on a daily

00:10:08.500 basis and I would do it for no less than two to four weeks because things change, right? Your days

00:10:15.980 aren't always the same. So if you measure it for a week, well, next week, it might be different

00:10:19.980 because of your work schedule or because things at home, but do it for a month, really track and

00:10:26.440 take inventory. And then what I would do and what I have done is you're going to create a list of

00:10:32.520 things that you want to be doing and a list of things that you don't want to be doing. Now,

00:10:37.620 unfortunately, some of those things you don't want to do have to get done. And down the road,

00:10:42.020 as you mature in this level of thinking 100 or zero, you can start to delegate that stuff.

00:10:47.720 You know, for example, podcast editing, I've been doing podcasting for seven years.

00:10:53.180 I got rid of the editing stuff very, very quickly because I noticed that I was getting bogged down

00:10:58.580 with editing my own podcast and what would take me an hour for a conversation would turn into a two

00:11:04.740 hour task or maybe even longer because I was spending time editing when really what I should

00:11:10.600 have been doing is looking to secure and build a relationship with the next guest that I wanted to have on

00:11:16.060 a podcast to serve you guys. But that said, the editing stuff needed to get done. So I hired

00:11:22.180 somebody. Now I don't have to do it. It's still getting done. I don't have to do it at 50% or do

00:11:29.220 an inferior job. Somebody else can do the highest caliber job. Chad Robeson is the guy who does it

00:11:34.940 now. He does an incredible job. Okay. But I hired him to do it so he can specialize in that and do what

00:11:40.800 he's good at and what he enjoys. And I can do what, what I enjoy, which is having conversations,

00:11:47.920 getting behind the camera, getting behind the microphone and going all in 100% on this thing.

00:11:53.920 So again, step number one, take inventory of your life for a month and make a list of all the things

00:12:00.640 that you enjoy doing, the things you want to go a hundred percent on, and then make a list of all

00:12:05.340 the things that you're at 99% on or lower and consider scrubbing those things that are unimportant

00:12:12.340 and consider delegating the things that need to get done to other people who it can be part of their

00:12:18.700 100% list. All right. Now what you do from there, once you start to inventory, you got to really think

00:12:25.500 about what you want out of life. You know, for me, for example, I want to be a world-class podcaster.

00:12:33.000 I don't, I don't want to be somebody who does blog posts. That isn't an interest of mine.

00:12:40.060 There's, there's a billion other, other things that I'm not interested in doing,

00:12:44.400 but when it comes to podcasting, yeah, this is important to me. I also want to be the absolute

00:12:50.660 best husband and father to my wife and my children. That is extremely, that is the most important thing

00:12:57.200 to me. So everything that I do in my life, I can use my ultimate desires and goals and objectives

00:13:05.600 as a litmus test for what I'm saying yes to and what I'm saying no to. And there are seasons to

00:13:11.540 this, by the way. So I'll give you an example. Many of you know, cause I've shared it quite often

00:13:15.720 over the past month or so that I'm in the process of writing a book. Well, I'm just about finished with

00:13:21.040 the first draft, the first manuscript of the book. Okay. In the meantime, the last 60 days,

00:13:27.020 I've gotten two dozen, three dozen or so requests for me to make an appearance on other people's

00:13:35.140 podcasts. Okay. Well, I know that I need to write the book. I know I want to be the best father I can

00:13:40.240 be. I know I want to be a great podcaster, but right now the emphasis is on family and the book.

00:13:46.280 That's where my priority is. So when people reach out and say, Hey Ryan, I'd love to have you on my

00:13:50.460 podcast because I know what I want. And I know how much time I have throughout the day. And I know

00:13:56.720 what my schedule looks like because I've inventoried it. I'm, I'm more able to say yes or no to things.

00:14:03.400 And so for podcasting, it's been no, the default is no longer. Yes. It's no, I'm not doing that right

00:14:10.260 now because I'm focused on the book. If you want to reach out at a later date and I don't just

00:14:15.040 randomly give them a date. Like I give them a specific timeline, then feel free to reach out

00:14:19.180 to me then. But up to that point, the answer is no. Let me tell you how liberating that is.

00:14:25.420 If you're not used to saying no to people, it's very challenging. It's very hard because again,

00:14:31.140 you want to appease people. You want to add value. You want to serve. These are all things that we've

00:14:36.700 talked about over the past six, seven years of doing this podcast, that it's important that we do

00:14:41.280 these things, but it can't come at the expense of you going a hundred percent. Cause if I say yes

00:14:46.920 to every other podcast opportunity that presents itself, that doesn't let me get my book done.

00:14:53.400 That doesn't let me be there and present and available for my wife and kids. You know,

00:14:58.060 some people will also want to meet, for example, in the evenings or the weekends. Well, I don't do that.

00:15:03.200 Okay. I meet from nine to five Monday through Friday. If you want to talk after hours or on the

00:15:10.340 weekend, you've really got to be a friend or a family member or something, because there's very

00:15:15.280 few exceptions to me doing work and podcasting because that's my time with my family. I know that

00:15:23.700 I protect that. I'm a hundred percent intentional about it. And anything that gets in the way is a

00:15:29.580 big no for me, but you can also figure out what you want to say yes to, because there are opportunities

00:15:36.820 that will present themselves that, that you want to take advantage of. And if you just say yes to

00:15:42.580 everything and kind of throw the spaghetti on the wall and see what sticks, you know, some's going to

00:15:46.860 work out. Some isn't, but if you know exactly where you're going, then you can be like a sniper.

00:15:53.880 Okay. Now it's not just random, like throw it all on the wall and see what sticks. It's no,

00:15:57.900 that's no, that's no, no, no. Yes. No, yes. No, no, no, no. Yes. And you know exactly how to make

00:16:05.600 your decisions. This is how you create maximum effectiveness, effective effectiveness, excuse me,

00:16:12.720 in your life, knowing what you want, knowing how you spend your time, knowing how you want to spend

00:16:18.520 your time, and then being able to identify what to say yes to and what to say no to.

00:16:24.320 Now the third component of this. So this is a three-part framework is you got to start making

00:16:29.240 your moves. All right. There's going to be things in your life right now that you're doing that,

00:16:34.580 you know, are at 50%. You're not a hundred percent on them. You don't want to be on a hundred percent.

00:16:39.260 You don't want to do them. They're ridiculous or it's not enjoyable. Maybe it doesn't need to be

00:16:45.220 done at all, or maybe it does, but somebody else needs to do it. You need to start making your moves.

00:16:49.320 So here's what I would say. If you've already committed to doing things, then do those things.

00:16:57.080 All right. I want you to be a man of your word. So I'm not saying to you that if you made a

00:17:01.940 commitment to somebody this weekend to help them move across town that, well, you know, Ryan said

00:17:07.780 that I should be a hundred percent in or a hundred percent out. So sorry, buddy, I'm out. No, if you

00:17:12.120 made a commitment to another person that you would be there to help them move or that you would coach

00:17:18.060 them, or you would jump on a phone call with them or whatever, then do that. Honor your word,

00:17:23.940 honor your commitment, and then don't make those kinds of commitments moving forward.

00:17:28.740 If you, if you don't want to stick to them, there might also be instances where things tend to get

00:17:34.900 done that you've committed to doing, but you don't actually need to do it. As I said earlier,

00:17:39.020 maybe you can delegate that. Maybe somebody else can, you can enlist the help of somebody else to get

00:17:44.360 that commitment and that obligation met, but you have to start making your moves. Cause if you just

00:17:49.480 take inventory and you kind of feel like, you know what you want, you know what you want to go a

00:17:53.680 hundred percent on, you know what you want to go zero percent on, but you don't really do anything

00:17:57.900 about it. It's, it's just wasted effort. And then why did you even listen to this podcast and take notes

00:18:03.720 and get all hopped up and hyped up and ready to move. So make your moves. You've got your list of

00:18:10.820 things. You know what to say yes to, you know what to say no to, you know what your prior commitments

00:18:16.220 and obligations are, finish those, finalize those, and now make better decisions moving forward.

00:18:21.920 It's a very simple framework guys, but I can assure you that if you follow this, you're going to be less

00:18:28.860 stressed out. You're going to be less overwhelmed. You're going to be more productive. You're going

00:18:34.880 to find more fulfillment and satisfaction in your life. And you're going to live a better life.

00:18:41.720 A hundred percent. You're going to live a better life. But if you want that better life and you want

00:18:47.040 to be a hundred percent, you want to be all in on your family. You want to be all in on your business.

00:18:50.400 You want to be all in on the certain activities that you are interested in doing. Then you've got to make

00:18:56.480 some sacrifices now. And that means that you won't be able to do it all. And that means you're going

00:19:02.520 to have to say no to people at the risk of them being upset that you're not as helpful as maybe

00:19:08.120 they would like that. You are going to have to take control of your schedule and not allow it to

00:19:13.100 be dictated by default or by other people that you are going to take control of it. And you're going

00:19:20.420 to make the most out of your life. And you're either going to go 100% on the activities you're doing,

00:19:25.360 or you're not going to do it at all. That is the path to effectiveness. That is the path to growth.

00:19:32.440 That is the path to fulfillment. So guys, hit me up on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter. Let me know.

00:19:40.700 Shoot me a message. Hey, this is what I'm saying yes to. This is what I'm saying no to. Ryan, this week,

00:19:46.300 I cut out these three non-essential tasks. This week, I delegated these duties and obligations

00:19:53.200 and responsibilities to a family member or somebody at work. And here's how it's lightened

00:20:00.420 my load. And I'm not saying this just so you can relax and take it easy. I'm saying you lighten

00:20:05.680 the load so that you can really place the emphasis on the things that are important. So life isn't

00:20:10.040 going to get easier for you. It's just going to be more effective. That's the point. All right,

00:20:16.040 guys. So stay in touch with me. Let me know how it goes. One last thing I need to share with you.

00:20:22.000 We're really, really on a big rating and review kick right now. So guys, if you would, please just

00:20:27.660 take a few seconds, jump on the podcast, wherever you're listening right now, go in there and click

00:20:33.700 five stars, right? You know, podcast is awesome. And here's what I like about it. It's going to take

00:20:39.720 you 30, 45, 60 seconds tops. And it's a good way to give back to what we're doing right here. A lot

00:20:46.300 of you guys ask, how can I help? How can I help? This is how you can help and don't undervalue it

00:20:51.580 because it only takes you 60 seconds. If thousands and thousands of guys leave those ratings and

00:20:56.060 reviews, it helps us climb in the charts. It helps us get this information out to other men in the world.

00:21:02.960 It's clear the world needs this. I started this podcast today by telling you how important this work

00:21:07.960 is in the world. This is something that you can do that only takes you a few seconds.

00:21:12.720 And also make sure you check out squireprogram.com slash Ryan. Squireprogram.com slash Ryan. If you

00:21:20.560 have a boy between the ages of 12 and 16 and you're available and want to come out and visit with me

00:21:24.920 and the crew on our property here in Maine on May 28th. All right, guys, remember it's a hundred percent

00:21:31.500 or it's zero percent. Go out there, take action, become the man you are meant to be.

00:21:37.300 Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast. If you're ready to take charge of your life

00:21:41.920 and be more of the man you were meant to be, we invite you to join the order at orderofman.com.

Order of Man - January 28, 2022

100% or 0%, No In-Between ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

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