Order of Man - 122： View From the Top

00:00:00.000 We all know the best view is at the top, but the reality is that it's often the most difficult to

00:00:04.640 get to. In other words, the view is earned, but how often have we expected the view without the

00:00:09.260 effort? My guest today and his second time on our show is Aaron Walker, the author of View from the

00:00:13.980 Top. Today, we talk about the struggles of life, how to lead a significant life, establishing

00:00:18.080 boundaries and creating margin, and how to get that view from the top. You're a man of action.

00:00:23.280 You live life to the fullest, embrace your fears, and boldly chart your own path. When life knocks

00:00:28.240 you down, you get back up one more time, every time. You are not easily deterred, defeated, rugged,

00:00:35.180 resilient, strong. This is your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become at the end of

00:00:41.940 the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man. Gentlemen, what is going on

00:00:47.860 today? My name is Ryan Mickler, and I am the host and the founder of Order of Man. I hope all is going

00:00:52.620 well for you this week. Man, it has been an exciting summer for me so far this year. I just got back

00:00:58.220 from Arizona a couple of weeks ago for an event, and last weekend, I was in San Diego for another

00:01:03.600 event, and coming up August 12th, I'll be at another event in Kansas City, but this time,

00:01:08.520 it's ours. It's the very first Order of Man meetup. If you want to learn more, head to

00:01:12.980 orderofman.com slash event to get registered, but guys, do it quick because we are going to be

00:01:18.020 shutting down registration August 1st. So again, that's our Order of Man meetup in Kansas City on

00:01:22.660 August 12th, and the details are at orderofman.com slash event. In the meantime, I'm just jumping

00:01:28.940 right into this today, but make sure you join our closed Facebook group. I haven't mentioned

00:01:33.740 it in a while, probably since I've been so busy, but we've got almost 34,000 men over

00:01:38.440 there. That number is mind-blowing to me. 34,000 men having some incredible conversations and

00:01:44.740 delving deeper into what we're talking about here on the podcast. If you are interested in

00:01:48.720 joining some of those discussions, and I imagine that you are, you can do that at facebook.com

00:01:53.220 slash groups slash Order of Man. And the third item I want to mention to you today is our exclusive

00:01:58.280 brotherhood, the Iron Council. Guys, we had nine new members join over the weekend, and they are now

00:02:04.560 going through their 30-day quick start. So they hit the ground running on some new tools and systems

00:02:09.420 that we've created to help you as a man get all you want out of your life. You can learn more about

00:02:14.020 that at orderofman.com slash ironcouncil. With that said, let us jump right into my introduction

00:02:20.240 of our guest today. His name is Aaron Walker. He is back for the second time. He was on the show.

00:02:25.200 I was looking at this in the early days, episode 35, actually, to be exact. So nearly 100 episodes

00:02:31.840 ago. But today he's here to talk about his new book, View from the Top. Our previous conversation

00:02:37.060 is one of my most downloaded episodes. So when Aaron and his team reached out, I knew I had to have

00:02:42.180 him on the show again. This guy's genuineness, which you're going to hear in the interview,

00:02:46.040 and his energy is contagious. He's overcome some major hurdles in his life. He talks a little bit

00:02:51.520 about a fatal car accident that he was involved in years ago, and has since gone on to create some

00:02:57.120 incredibly powerful businesses and befriend some other powerhouses themselves, like Dave Ramsey and

00:03:02.520 Dan Miller. And today he's here to talk with us about how he did it and so much more.

00:03:08.460 Aaron, thanks for joining me today. I'm glad you're back on the show for round two.

00:03:11.740 Hey, Ryan, what a blessing it is to be on your show, man. Thanks for having me back.

00:03:15.880 Yeah, I've been following your work for some time now, since before our last conversation.

00:03:20.020 And exciting news, you've got a book coming out, View from the Top. I want to start by asking you

00:03:25.560 what that view even looks like, because I think it's something that all men should have this desire

00:03:30.240 to strive for something great. What does that view look like for anybody who might be listening to

00:03:35.020 this show? You know, Ryan, oftentimes people don't even know what that view is, and you've got to

00:03:39.520 determine that for yourself. It would be impossible for me to come today and say, Hey, I've got the view

00:03:44.320 from the top figured out. You guys need to get on board. This is it. That's just not the way it works

00:03:50.000 because everybody's view from the top is different. It took me years to decide what that view from the

00:03:55.720 top was for me. I went through great success financially in my business. And then midway through,

00:04:01.700 I had a very bad automobile accident where I killed a pedestrian and it made me really reevaluate and think

00:04:07.780 through, is this it? I mean, is this all that there is to life? And I started thinking about

00:04:12.820 the significance aspect of it, reaching out, helping other people. So for me, it was different.

00:04:18.300 It wasn't just about the money, but it was how I could catapult and help other people achieve their

00:04:23.640 goals and dreams. And my goodness, the success even comes back tenfold. Plus I'm more significant.

00:04:29.840 So you got to decide, man, what do I want? Is it all about me or could it be maybe about others as

00:04:36.680 well? And that's what I try to teach in having a view from the top.

00:04:40.440 How have you found a life of significance for yourself? Because what I experience and the guys

00:04:45.380 that I talk with on a daily basis is they're climbing this mountain, if you will, and they

00:04:49.860 can't see the peak. They can't see the view. And if they do reach the peak, it's one of those false

00:04:53.880 peaks and they've got further to go. And they just feel like, man, I feel like I'm treading water here.

00:04:58.600 I feel like I'm moving, but I'm not really getting anywhere. How do you even strive for this

00:05:02.880 ambitious view that you're all working towards? Well, here's the thing. You've got to decide what

00:05:08.020 you want. There's even a document that I wrote called, What Do I Want? And Ryan, I can ask many

00:05:13.320 questions to guys and I'll go, hey, what do you really want out of life? How do you know when you've

00:05:18.840 won? Is it a certain dollar amount? Is it a sense of freedom financially? Is it time? Is it family?

00:05:27.260 What is it? What do you even want? And most people don't know. They're like, I don't know.

00:05:32.520 I was like, geographically speaking or financially speaking, if there were no limitations, what would

00:05:37.420 you do with your life tomorrow morning? And they're like, I don't know. And we need to stop long

00:05:43.140 enough and think Robin and I have lived very proactive our entire marriage. Next month we'll

00:05:48.400 celebrate 37 years, man. It's been an adventure, not all uphill. Thank you. It's not all been uphill.

00:05:55.140 I mean, we've had our valleys, you know, but the thing is, is we know what we want. And privately,

00:06:00.220 I won't share it here. Privately, we say, we want to make this much money. We want to be able to go

00:06:05.220 to these places. We want to have these things. We want to give this much away. We're very intentional.

00:06:10.420 I believe in living your life proactive, not reactive, but here's what happens, Ryan. People go

00:06:15.800 out there and they mortgage themselves to the hilt. They have to work 12, 14 hours a day to pay for

00:06:21.640 things. They probably shouldn't bought to begin with. And then it's like the dog that caught the

00:06:25.800 car. They don't know what to do with it when they catch it. And then they get to the top,

00:06:29.660 what they think. And they go, is this it? Are you kidding? I mean, is this all there is?

00:06:34.880 That's what happened to me when I had the automobile accident. I thought, well, I'm successful

00:06:38.800 financially. We've got a place on the ocean. We got a place in Nashville. You know, we got all this

00:06:43.700 stuff and that's okay. I don't want to make it sound bad because I love having nice stuff.

00:06:47.540 I love taking nice trips, but don't make it your only focus. And what happens is guys obtain a level

00:06:54.760 of financial contentment and then they go, it doesn't scratch the itch anymore. And I want to

00:07:00.080 plead with you to think about the relationships because the purpose, the meaning that I have in

00:07:05.780 my life today is way different. It's not just the money. It's a portion of it. And I hate it when people

00:07:11.520 with money go, money's not important. I don't go, you liar. Let's take it away from you and see how

00:07:15.880 important it is. Exactly. You only say that because you have it, right?

00:07:18.960 Yeah. That's ridiculous. It's insane for people to make that kind of comment.

00:07:23.080 But here's what happens though. When I had the wreck, I looked back and I thought, you know what?

00:07:28.020 I got money and I had a wreck and nobody cares that I've got a little bit of money, but my family.

00:07:33.660 It's like, how is Ryan's life better as a result of having known me? And you start thinking about that

00:07:40.360 question. You're like, how can I help him? How can I help make his podcast the best? How can I help

00:07:45.860 him in his relationship? How can I coach him or encourage him how to raise those three little

00:07:50.480 boys and that precious little daughter he's got? How can I help that guy not go through some of the

00:07:55.560 things that I did? And then you come back in 10 years and you go, big A, you gave me a tip, man.

00:08:00.580 I'm telling you, it changed my life. My goodness. Now what's important? Is it the relationship,

00:08:05.440 right? Is it your life being changed or was it that you had another $50,000 in the bank? I'm just

00:08:10.780 telling you, Ryan, we've got it confused, right? Go out there, get the money, make the financial

00:08:14.780 things and the goals and get all your stuff, do all that. But man, please carve out 25, 30% of your

00:08:21.860 time taking everybody else along the journey with you. I talked to David Novak recently. David is the

00:08:29.140 president of Yum Brands. Yum Brands has 40,000 restaurants. He's the fifth highest compensated

00:08:37.080 CEO in America. The guy's insane. And I said, David, how did you build this restaurant business to 40,000?

00:08:44.600 He said, I took people along with me. I said, you got to explain that. He said, it's all based on the

00:08:49.560 people that work for me. He said, my office from floor to ceiling, wall to wall is pictures of the

00:08:55.060 people that have helped take me there. I give them the credit. I pass it on for myself. I don't take

00:09:00.900 the notoriety. I say, Hey, it's this guy, this manager, this clerk, this person that does this.

00:09:06.000 They're the reason those people would run through the wall for him. Think about in your area,

00:09:10.880 whatever it is that you're doing. Do you give the credit to the people that are around you?

00:09:15.760 Listen, I lay in bed at night sometimes thinking, you know what? I might not have made any more money

00:09:19.460 today, but I changed somebody's life. I made an introduction that's going to change their life.

00:09:25.120 And man, when we do that, I promise you, you'll have that view from the top.

00:09:29.160 How do you reconcile significance, which I attribute to based on what you're saying here,

00:09:34.400 the ability to serve others and step up and share and all of those things

00:09:38.160 with wanting to make a lot of money. I've reconciled that, but I'd be really curious

00:09:42.900 because I know that there's men listening to this right now that think that those two

00:09:46.700 objectives are mutually exclusive and I don't believe they are.

00:09:50.180 No, no, no. You can simultaneously have both of those things. The first thing you've got to do is,

00:09:55.600 as we've already talked about, decide what success even is for you, right? If you don't know,

00:10:00.160 if you have no, it'd be like playing a baseball game and no rules, you know, no boundaries or a

00:10:05.580 soccer and nobody's got a whistle. It's like, how do you know when you've won? Like you just

00:10:10.380 keep saying, I'll be happy. When I get one more store, 50 more thousand, get the kids out of the

00:10:15.060 house, get the education paid for, get the mortgage paid off. Then I'll be happy. You're going to be

00:10:19.940 sorely, sorely disappointed because that's not going to happen. It's not going to scratch that itch.

00:10:26.240 Success normally is about ourselves and significance normally is about others. My focus for years was on

00:10:33.860 success period. And it took this horrible automobile accident and guys, I don't want y'all having to go

00:10:39.620 through, you know, relationship problems or financial problems or, you know, a lot of people,

00:10:44.800 they have a heart attack, then they lose 50 pounds. I'm like, dude, you're 50 pounds too late.

00:10:48.940 You need to be paying attention now. This is what I want you guys hearing from me. It's like, I've been

00:10:54.200 there, done that. It's like, Hey, it took a guy's life for me to go. What if that had been me

00:11:00.140 stepping off that curb and getting hit? My legacy would have been poor kid from Nashville,

00:11:06.180 Tennessee makes money, retires at 27. Nobody cares. Right. And then I started thinking, man,

00:11:11.520 how can I impact the lives of other people? My dad did that when he passed away, he left a legacy of

00:11:17.660 relationships, six and a half hours. The line was to the parking lot. He never made any money. He never

00:11:23.780 had any money, but the lives that he's changed was unbelievable. And I want to submit to the

00:11:30.200 listeners today that you can be highly successful, spending an inordinate amount of time working,

00:11:36.060 planning, strategizing, building a business that scales, man. I want you to do that because it's

00:11:41.580 incumbent on us as leaders, our families, our families signed up to be taken care of,

00:11:45.740 and you need to do a good job at that. But at the same time, look around, share your cards,

00:11:50.360 live a life of abundance, not scarcity, share with other people, take them along with you like

00:11:55.000 David Novak did with young brands. You can do it. And here's what I found, Ryan, when I really got it,

00:12:02.080 when I really understood what it was about, because I do reach out now and give you practical tips how

00:12:07.740 to do this. I'm twice as successful financially as I was before I learned this. So don't tell me it

00:12:14.020 can't work. Right. It will work. But along the way, you're taking everybody along with you.

00:12:18.640 How have you recognized in your life that you need to stop? I call it creating margin. And that's one

00:12:24.040 of the things that you said. I mean, we're up to our eyeballs in debt and we have no time to do

00:12:28.580 whatever we feel like we want to do in any given day. And guys are saying, you know, I've got 36

00:12:34.160 hours worth of work and I've only got 12 hours to do it. How do you find the margin and the time to be

00:12:40.260 able to reflect upon what it is you actually want to begin with? Well, first of all, you got to stop

00:12:45.360 the bleeding. Right. You can't say, well, hey, I never have the time. I never will have the time.

00:12:50.300 You've got to take control. And you didn't get into this quickly and you're not going to get out

00:12:54.560 of it quickly. I don't have the silver bullet that you're like, hey, do this and you'll be good to go.

00:12:59.540 It took you a long time to get where you have no margin. But here's what you need to do.

00:13:05.420 We write down everything and people say, oh, yeah, here we go. I've heard this. Well,

00:13:10.200 okay. So you hear it over and over. Maybe it works. But have you done it? That's the question.

00:13:14.680 Have you done it? Right. That's the thing. And here's what we do. I just got back from Chicago

00:13:19.020 with my COO and we spend three days there every quarter going over the next quarter. So what we

00:13:25.660 did this year is we literally, not figuratively, literally we work 20 hours a day for three days.

00:13:32.600 We get up 4 a.m. and we would hit it and we planned our year. Right now I have a Google

00:13:39.720 spreadsheet and it has the theme of the month, the books we're going to read in ISI, which is our

00:13:45.720 mastermind groups. We have the authors that we're going to interview. We have every question I'm going

00:13:50.920 to ask for every book. We have every person. There's six a month that I interview. We have every blog

00:13:57.360 titled, which is six per month. And we have the date that we're going to post it,

00:14:01.880 the date that it's due. And I have now through December and we're recording this in May. I have

00:14:07.020 now through December. I know what I'm going to be doing every single month. So the shiny objects

00:14:13.180 come along and I look at my calendar and I look at my plan and I go, it's not on here. It's going to

00:14:17.500 work maybe for you, but not with me because it's not on my plan. Right. And it keeps me focused.

00:14:22.960 Well, the problem is, is we have the shiny object syndrome. Oh, this looks good. Let's do this.

00:14:27.840 Oh, this looks good. Let's try this. And then you're not an inch wide and a mile deep. You're

00:14:33.040 just an inch deep and a mile wide. You're trying to do everything. You don't niche down on a plan.

00:14:37.980 Greg McCowan talks about it in essentialism a lot. We've really got to get focused on the things that

00:14:43.360 are important. We've got to prioritize our priorities. That's where we get screwed up.

00:14:48.920 We're like, I got to have balance. There's not a such thing. You can't do balance. What you need to do

00:14:53.800 is prioritize what's important in your life. You got to put the big rocks in first and you've got

00:14:58.760 to say, Hey, my faith, my family, you know, whatever is important to you. These are the

00:15:03.200 things I'm going to commit my time to. And if these other things work in good, no is a complete

00:15:09.580 sentence. Can you do this? No, I can't do that. Why can't you? Because it's not priority. It's not

00:15:15.900 important. And here's what happens. Can you do this? Sure. I can do it. You load your plate up. Hey,

00:15:20.920 can you do this? Absolutely. Bring it on. You know why? Because you don't want to say no to

00:15:24.720 anybody. And you're saying no to excellence in your life because you're too lazy to say no to

00:15:30.400 things that don't matter. We've got to get accountability around us. We got to get people

00:15:34.560 to say, Hey, Ryan, are you doing this? Are you taking care of your wife? Those three little boys

00:15:38.620 and your little girl, you having date night, you taking them out, you coaching ball. Are you doing

00:15:42.480 the important things? Are you at work 14 hours a day and somebody else is taking your kids to ball

00:15:47.540 practice? You don't even know your little girl's school teacher's name. You've not even been to a

00:15:51.880 recital. You know why? Because you're at work busy doing that. And what's going to happen? You're

00:15:56.180 going to come home with a pocket full of money one day to a house full of strangers. Then you're still

00:16:01.160 going to be a loser. So we can't do that. We got to prioritize our priorities. And when you do that,

00:16:06.520 you'll have great success and huge significance. So let's look at the other side of this,

00:16:10.360 because I hear you planning out a year in advance down to the titles of your blog posts and

00:16:14.820 everything else. And while I can see the value in that, I also see the value in the ability to

00:16:19.240 adapt and call an audible, if you will. So how do you personally adapt and tweak things around?

00:16:25.680 Should it not be a bright, shiny object, but a valid opportunity that presents itself?

00:16:30.840 Then I do it. Then I pivot and turn. But here's what happens is a lot of people use that excuse not

00:16:35.560 to plan. Oh, I like the spontaneity of it. Well, that is ridiculous. That doesn't mean it's etched

00:16:41.460 in concrete. I didn't write this in stone. I've got a plan. And if I feel I'm a person of faith,

00:16:47.100 so if I feel led at some point from the Holy Spirit to say, hey, change this, change that,

00:16:51.160 do this, I'll do it on a dime. I'll lead our mastermind groups that way. I'll go in sometimes

00:16:55.340 say, hey, we're supposed to be talking about this today, but I'll be honest with you. I've had this

00:16:58.960 life situation happen. We need to talk about that today. We're canning everything. Here's what we're

00:17:03.740 doing. And then we do it. But the thing is, is I've still got a plan. I can still go back to the

00:17:08.840 plan, right? I can go through methodically, very regimented, being very productive. And then if I

00:17:14.960 need to alter, I just change. So I want to go back to the accident that you had. I can't imagine

00:17:22.540 what must have been going through your mind and your life. That must have been a dark time in your

00:17:26.880 life. I have certainly had dark times in my life. And I know everybody listening to this has been

00:17:30.780 through challenges as well. What did you do first? I mean, is this a mindset thing? Is this taking

00:17:36.720 action? Like how did you overcome this trial that you've been dealt? Yeah, what I did first was

00:17:42.700 cried a lot. I bet. And I didn't want to come out of my house and I didn't for a period of time.

00:17:49.640 I can't even begin to tell you, you know, what you feel. Man, I pray nobody ever experiences anything

00:17:55.060 like that because somebody's dad, somebody's, you know, husband, somebody's son can't even begin to

00:18:00.960 tell you. So I got people around me. There were people at my church, my accountability group,

00:18:06.120 you know, the guys that came around me, a lot of guys I'd go out to lunch with and they just

00:18:10.400 listen, right? There's nothing they can say. What are they going to say? You know, they can't say

00:18:13.820 anything to make you feel better, but we're designed to be in community. See, the worst thing,

00:18:18.780 the enemy to excellence is isolation. If you want to really mess your life up, withdraw, pull back,

00:18:26.380 don't share, don't tell anybody the trials and tribulations and struggles you're dealing with.

00:18:31.560 And now you've built a facade. Now you've got this barrier around you because if anybody knows it,

00:18:36.840 they'll think you're weak. They'll think that you don't know. Well, that's a crock. That is nothing

00:18:41.560 further from the truth. Strength starts in transparency, authenticity. And when you let

00:18:47.360 that wall down in a few people, not everybody, don't be crazy. Don't tell the whole world. I'm

00:18:52.880 talking about trusted advisors. I'm talking about people that care about you. I'm talking about people

00:18:57.640 that get around you and love you unconditionally and people that get around you say, man, I know

00:19:02.320 this sucks. I know you're hurting. I know this is bad. And like, you know, how can I help you? Can

00:19:07.800 I encourage you? Can it take, it took me five years. Literally, I didn't work. I sold my business,

00:19:13.920 Robin and I traveled extensively, and I was glad I had a little bit of resources that allowed me to do

00:19:18.580 that. We built a new house, right? We changed locations. I had to get my legs back under me and you

00:19:24.200 don't get over that. God gives you the grace to learn how to deal with it. And he did. And I said

00:19:29.380 one day, Robin goes, all right, you're getting fat and lazy. It's time to get going. I had to pull

00:19:33.940 myself up, right? I had to go, you know what? I got a choice. I can either lay curled up under my desk

00:19:39.200 in the fetal position, or I can pull myself up, put my big boy britches on and go forward because my

00:19:45.920 family's counting on me. I've got people, I own businesses. I've got people working for me. I've got

00:19:50.560 family and kids and grandkids. I got to move on. And guys, listen, there's nothing you've done

00:19:56.200 that you can't consciously choose to move forward. I don't care what it is, right? You can't do

00:20:01.120 anything about what you've done in the past. The only thing you can do anything about is from

00:20:05.920 today forward, regardless of what it is. You can choose today. It's just like happiness. It's not

00:20:11.700 a choice. It's not a trade. It's a choice. Same way with moving on after a catastrophe. Listen,

00:20:18.140 if you can hear my voice and you're struggling, put it down, put it behind you and pick yourself

00:20:22.820 up and move forward. You got people counting on you. Yeah, I know that's a challenge, but it

00:20:26.680 certainly is true. And again, I've experienced that in my life where I've deliberately and

00:20:30.080 intentionally decided that I'm going to be happy or that I'm going to be productive or I'm going to

00:20:34.040 be effective or I'm going to serve other people. And I know for me, part of coming out of that dark

00:20:38.800 place in my life was yes, getting myself in order, my mindset and my body and my soul and all of that,

00:20:44.140 but then also leading this life of significance and finding ways to serve others. How have you found

00:20:50.560 it most effectively to reach out and build this, what I would call a band of brothers or trusted

00:20:56.180 advisors, as you refer to, and serving them so that they will, I guess, maybe not in turn serve you,

00:21:01.660 but it's a win-win relationship, right? Well, here's what happens. There's a mindset shift that's

00:21:07.400 got to take place. You can't just up one day and do this. You literally have to buy into this or

00:21:12.260 you'll flame out. You won't do it long. You'll do it on the surface, but it won't really mean

00:21:16.420 anything to you. When we were in the construction business, my partner in the construction business

00:21:20.940 really helped me see the value of this. Other builders would come around. We were one of the

00:21:25.200 top tier builders in Nashville and we built some amazing homes and small commercial and other

00:21:31.120 builders would come around and I would say, hey, they need to figure it out themselves. My partner

00:21:34.760 would say, you're crazy. Come here. And they would teach and show and we would help and we would

00:21:39.020 introduce. And I started getting it even more so. And these guys would start referring us people.

00:21:44.460 It's the natural reciprocity that happens once you do these things in whatever industry you're in.

00:21:50.880 I had a guy recently call me and he said, hey, big A, I want to join your mastermind group. He said,

00:21:56.120 but I've got to be totally transparent and honest with you right up front. And I said, okay.

00:21:59.800 He said, I want to do exactly what you're doing. I want to coach men. I want to lead mastermind

00:22:04.800 groups. I love what you're doing. I've heard so much about iron sharpens iron. And I'm just going

00:22:09.540 to be honest with you. The reason I want to join your group is because I want to learn exactly what

00:22:13.560 you're doing. And he stopped and I went, praise the Lord. Come on. I'll teach you everything I

00:22:19.100 know. And he said, what? I said, I'll show you how to coach. I'll give you the resources. I'll make

00:22:23.500 the introductions. I said, I even wrote a book called the mastermind blueprint. By the way, Ryan,

00:22:28.520 we just got Seth Godin's endorsement on that. But anyway, that's another day. So anyway,

00:22:33.160 right. And he goes, you're kidding me. And I said, no, I'm not kidding. Why would I be kidding

00:22:37.400 about it? I want men's lives to be transformed. Why would I not want to teach you how to do that?

00:22:42.840 We've got to have an abundance mindset, not a scarcity mindset. There's millions of men,

00:22:47.420 right? It's like it breeds other men when you helping people in your, if we have it so backwards,

00:22:54.820 we want to keep our cards close to our vest. We don't want to share. We don't want to tell

00:22:58.780 they'll steal the secret sauce. No, they won't. Listen, we had, when we were in the construction

00:23:04.520 business, we said, instead of fighting with the top 10 builders, we formed an alliance called the

00:23:09.960 master custom builder council. They were our competitors. We started to get together every

00:23:14.940 third Thursday of the month. We started sharing resources, ideas, subcontractors, vendors.

00:23:20.780 We started inviting speakers in to teach us and to educate us. We started sharing and listen,

00:23:26.500 the last year I was in the construction business, those 10 builders, we did $115 million in business

00:23:32.160 because we shared and everybody grew as a result of it because the vendors gave us better price

00:23:38.820 because we were buying in bulk. We started educating the community, which made us more competitive.

00:23:44.220 We started doing parade of homes and donating the money to charity. Everybody became the winner.

00:23:50.600 When I wasn't busy, I would give subcontractors and vendors to other builders. They would do a

00:23:56.380 lot of kind. We started building rapport. We started vacationing together. We were like

00:24:00.640 competitors at first. Listen, guys, in your industry, you can do the very same thing. Be courageous. Go

00:24:07.300 out there and do it differently, right? That's what we did. We were courageous. We did it differently

00:24:12.540 and we all grew as a result. Is that successful? Absolutely. Is it significant? Sure it is because it

00:24:19.720 helped everybody. And you're thinking, oh, that wouldn't work in my industry. Yes, it would.

00:24:24.780 It's the way you go about it. It's the approach you take to it. And it's about that servant mindset.

00:24:30.420 It's about how can I make your life better? Listen, Ryan, I know you're this kind of guy too.

00:24:34.860 When I go into a room, I want to bring the light. I don't want to suck the darkness out. I want to be

00:24:39.900 the guy that's like, hey man, let me introduce you to this guy. Let me help you. Practically speaking,

00:24:43.980 as I said earlier, just a few practical tips. We do that every day. We write emails of encouragement.

00:24:50.440 We do video. Listen, if you're not doing video, you're messing up. You've got to grab your phone

00:24:55.160 and send this video, a little 15, 20 second video to Ryan. Hey Ryan, happy birthday, man. Had you on

00:25:01.440 my mind. Or, hey, I want to introduce you to Bobby or just had you on my mind today. Just want to lift

00:25:06.880 you up, man. You send that video. Oh my goodness. You're talking about an indelible impression. It

00:25:11.800 adds to people. You get on LinkedIn and do an endorsement without somebody asking. I did a big

00:25:17.640 podcast host the other day. I did this endorsement and said, man, this guy rocks. Sent it. And I got

00:25:22.960 this message back and it said, this is freaking unbelievable. Can I share this with all my social

00:25:28.740 media world? Let me think about that a minute. It just comes back. See, because I'm thinking about

00:25:35.260 people before they ask. You help before they ask. You call them, encourage them. Man, when you do that,

00:25:41.100 you lay down at night. I'm tired, Brian. I'm wore out some nights while I lay down, but I go,

00:25:45.100 I left it all on the field. Your body might be worn out, but I imagine your soul and everything

00:25:48.920 else is uplifted. I squeeze every drop out. When I lay down at night, I'm like, oh my gosh,

00:25:53.920 I hope I can get up in the morning. I so can't wait to get up to do it again. It's the way to live

00:25:59.560 your life that has meaning. It has purpose, right? There's a reason that we do the things. It's not

00:26:04.980 just about get another $10,000 so you can do whatever. Get the money. You get the money. I promise you,

00:26:11.420 if you'll do some of the things I'm talking about, it will change your life radically.

00:26:15.100 Gentlemen, just a very quick pause to tell you about our elite brotherhood,

00:26:19.460 the Iron Council. Inside of the Iron Council, we just wrapped up completing our 12-week battle

00:26:24.740 plans for the third quarter. I can tell you, I'm excited about this. The guys inside of this

00:26:28.820 brotherhood are going to be doing some incredibly big things in the next 90 days. It is not too late

00:26:33.700 for you to jump on board with that. The old way of doing your planning and goal setting,

00:26:37.040 it doesn't work. We all know that, but we've created an entirely new framework for

00:26:41.400 identifying objectives and narrowing it down to what we call actionable tactics.

00:26:46.960 And then we also create checkpoints along the way. And of course, there's the accountability that

00:26:50.120 comes from connecting with 300 other motivated and ambitious men. So if you're interested in that

00:26:56.360 and all that we're doing inside of that brotherhood, you can learn more about this new way of building

00:27:01.500 the life you're after. Again, I invite you to join the Iron Council at orderofman.com

00:27:06.340 slash Iron Council. Now let's get back to my conversation with Aaron.

00:27:11.720 You and I are having this conversation, round two of this conversation, and we do very similar

00:27:16.020 things. And yet here we are having a conversation that serves you well. It serves me well. It serves

00:27:20.680 both of our audiences well. This is a win-win relationship and it is about abundance. I want

00:27:26.060 to, on that note, talk about the other side of this. And I don't know if it's a direct opposite,

00:27:30.900 but you also talk a lot about boundaries. And I think it's very easy to keep from setting

00:27:36.020 boundaries that could actually be very damaging to you and your ability to be successful and live

00:27:41.960 a life of significance. Can you talk to me about boundaries?

00:27:45.080 Yeah, I think boundaries open up all kinds of opportunities. I don't think it stifles anything.

00:27:49.900 I think it does. It puts a hedge around what's important. I've already talked about

00:27:54.540 prioritizing your priorities, right? So you build boundaries around that and you say, hey,

00:27:59.600 I build the list and say, this is what I'm going to do. That's a boundary. It helps me not chase the

00:28:04.360 sign the objects. I build boundaries in my marriage. And I'll tell you some things. Some

00:28:08.140 of you guys are going to go, you're an idiot. I'm going to lose some of you right here. And that's

00:28:11.600 okay. You might have already lost some, Aaron, just so you know. I'm just kidding. I'm going to be

00:28:15.420 hard time. No, that's okay. I'm good with it. But here's the thing, because my message is maybe not

00:28:21.380 for everybody that wants to hear it today. But here's the thing. Even in my marriage, I've built very

00:28:25.440 strong boundaries. And I travel and I speak. And I was in San Diego the other day and this real cute 25-year-old

00:28:31.560 blonde walked up to me and she jumped up beside me, took her phone, started taking a selfie. And I

00:28:36.200 backed away. And she looked at me kind of funny and she goes, did I do something? I said, yeah,

00:28:41.140 you did. I don't take pictures with women. And she goes, what? And I said, let me explain. And I asked

00:28:47.840 her her name. She told me her name and Susie or something or whatever it was. And I said, Susie,

00:28:51.120 let me ask you a question. Here I am, 56 years old. I'm out here in San Diego. And my wife's sitting at

00:28:57.440 home on our sofa, watching TV, waiting on me to get home. And she looks at Facebook and she sees

00:29:02.460 me in San Diego with this beautiful 25-year-old girl. And you think that's going to strengthen my

00:29:08.200 marriage? And she said, I didn't really think of that. I said, you know, I do that. And I fly all

00:29:13.900 over the country speaking. And my wife keeps seeing me with all these good looking girls. You know,

00:29:17.380 I want to do these selfies. And you think that's healthy? And she said, no, man. She goes, you know what?

00:29:21.600 I wish my husband felt that way. And I'm like, you know, we got to be careful. I don't go to lunch and

00:29:26.840 dinner with women. You know, if I write an email, my assistant's copied on it. I just think we got

00:29:32.080 to be careful. I think we're too loosey-goosey sometimes. I think, see, I have a very strong

00:29:36.660 marriage and I've been married 37 years and I want to be married 30 more years. And I think we've got

00:29:41.320 to be careful. Well, that's just one area of boundary. Same way with work, right? I mean,

00:29:45.720 I work virtually. I could literally work around the clock because we have clients all over the world.

00:29:50.900 But at some point I've got to go, I got to turn the light out. Metaphorically speaking,

00:29:54.780 I've got to say, I'm done. Facebook, we've had, I don't know how many thousands, hundreds. I don't

00:30:00.600 know how many people are on there. I could be talking to somebody around the clock, but I've

00:30:04.440 got to go, you know what? I'm done today. It's like, I'm finished. Could I work some more? Yeah.

00:30:07.980 Could I send another email? Could I have another client? Absolutely. But I'm like, Hey, I don't work

00:30:12.480 on Fridays, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. I take off. I only work four days a week. You know,

00:30:16.460 here's a little tip. I get more done now in four days than I did five and I make more money now in four

00:30:22.000 days. Yep. I've experienced the same thing. Well, I'm a lot more productive. I pay attention.

00:30:27.000 I don't say, Hey, I'll do it Friday. No, I better do it today. Cause I'm not working Friday. So now

00:30:31.080 I get a three day weekend every week. I make more money and my wife's thrilled as a result of it.

00:30:35.740 So I have accountability partners 30 years. I've been meeting with guys every week to hold me

00:30:41.740 accountable. Hey, how are you doing in this area? That area asked me very, very personal questions.

00:30:47.000 I've given them permission to, because I don't want to screw up. See when left alone, as I said

00:30:51.300 earlier, the enemy to excellence is isolation. We have these thoughts in our mind. We do things on

00:30:56.460 our own. And then eventually, you know, the, the darkness overtakes us and we need light shown in

00:31:02.080 the darkness and we need people around us to help us, to make us accountable, to make us the men that

00:31:07.000 God called us to be. And I want us all to have a level of accountability, have mastermind groups,

00:31:12.800 have people breathe in life into you, subject yourself to the scrutiny of other people.

00:31:17.000 Because there's wisdom in the counsel of the multitudes. And we only have one filter,

00:31:21.400 one lens. But when you get all these guys around you, they can go, you can't do that. And here's

00:31:25.540 why. And you're like, man, I didn't know what I didn't know. And so that's why I build boundaries.

00:31:30.880 How have you found those accountability partners? Because I know a lot of guys listening to this

00:31:34.400 agree and subscribe to that theory, but have found a difficult time in finding other like-minded

00:31:40.460 men, growth type minded men to surround themselves with.

00:31:43.680 Well, here, I'll tell you, I'll lose some more people right here. We'll just keep wheeling them

00:31:47.720 away.

00:31:48.340 For every one that we lose 10, we'll start listening. So it's okay.

00:31:51.800 That's okay. Here's the thing. We're so dead gum, got to have gratification instantly. You need to

00:31:58.100 learn to delay gratification. You need to quit having the microwave mindset. You need to have the mindset

00:32:03.980 of how's my life going to be better a year from now, five years from now, 10 years from now,

00:32:08.400 take time, right? The other day I told a guy, you need to start doing these videos and he's doing

00:32:13.340 them. And he came back to me and he goes, man, I've been doing those videos and they didn't work

00:32:17.020 at all. I said, how long you been doing them? He said, six weeks. I said, you're an idiot.

00:32:20.820 Six. So that's insane, man. Listen, I've been doing these podcast interviews for years and I just

00:32:26.100 keep doing them and keep doing them. And people would tell me early on, man, you're doing these

00:32:29.980 interviews and there's not going to pay anything. I said, well, we'll see. We'll see what happens.

00:32:33.680 Right. It's the longevity. Listen, you've got to do it consistently over and over. Same way with

00:32:38.820 the accountability. You got to find two or three guys that have the same core values as you. You

00:32:43.960 got to have people with high moral values, people with character, people with integrity and honesty.

00:32:49.560 Okay. Now, now we've got a recipe for a good man. I know sometimes you ask that, that's going to be

00:32:55.140 my answer. I done spilled my guts right here telling you what a man is, but you get a guy like that.

00:33:00.200 And once you get a guy like that, you go, Hey, can we have coffee on Friday mornings at six o'clock

00:33:05.700 just for an hour to talk about life? And you build his trust, right? You start building trust. The

00:33:11.480 guy's got to earn the trust. And once he earns the trust, you dole out things slowly. You know,

00:33:17.160 my wife and I are having a little trouble in this area. You ever experienced that? Or what advice

00:33:21.200 would you give? Or I got a teenager that's wayward and I don't know what to do. And I'm scared to tell

00:33:25.660 everybody because it's private and I don't want them to know, but I know you got kids. What would you do?

00:33:30.200 And you start getting this general consensus of these guys that have earned the trust that have

00:33:35.660 earned the right to speak into your life. Literally 30 years. I've been doing that with guys. It's

00:33:41.680 transformed my life. I don't even know where my life would be if I didn't have those guys because

00:33:45.960 they'd say, Hey man, you're working too much. You're not doing this. Or I had a guy call me out

00:33:50.660 one time. He said, I want you to go to breakfast with me. And I said, all right, went to breakfast with

00:33:54.160 him. He goes, I heard you tell a guy the other day, you've been all over South America fishing.

00:33:58.220 And I said, I have. He goes, you're a liar. You have not. And I said, what are you, this one of

00:34:01.900 my best friends. I said, what are you saying? He said, you've been to South America twice.

00:34:07.300 And I said, yeah. He goes, you told him that because you wouldn't even think you were a big

00:34:11.120 shot. And it made me think, he goes, you needed to say to that guy, I've been to South America twice.

00:34:17.060 He said, we've got to be careful the impressions that we're trying to give people. We need to be

00:34:21.680 accurate in what we're saying. People need to be able to trust you. Right. And so that's what guys

00:34:27.500 can do. I could embellish other stories and it have really consequential effects on people's lives.

00:34:33.860 Maybe not that story, but maybe others. We got to be accurate in what we say. See, it was a blind

00:34:39.180 spot that I had and he called it out. Every time I tell that story now, I think about it. And then

00:34:44.380 when I tell people things, I think, is that exactly accurate or do I need to fix that? I've had to fix

00:34:49.240 things. I'm like, that's not exactly what, right? So that's the value of these boundaries and having

00:34:54.960 these accountability groups. You talk about the journey and you talk about the consistency. How

00:34:59.840 does one maintain that level of consistent action, even though they might not experience immediate

00:35:05.220 results? Is this just a matter of faith? Is there more to this? Yeah, no, absolutely. It's called the

00:35:11.380 grind. It's hard. It's like, man, listen, you need to do the mundane task over and over and over

00:35:19.120 and here's where we lose most people. Here's why we don't have a lot of success or significance

00:35:23.200 of loss. People get tired. They go, you know what? I've been doing this for six weeks. Like

00:35:27.000 the guy I told you about, I finally got on that guy and made him do it for a period of

00:35:31.000 time. And now he says, this is unbelievable. I'm like, man, you got to stick with things.

00:35:36.420 I lay in bed sometimes and I think, Hey, I got to go do this video. And then I'm like, no,

00:35:40.880 I'm not going to do it. And I go, yeah, I am. Cause I told people I would do it. Get up and do

00:35:44.240 it. When I started doing Facebook lives, there were three people watching my wife and both my

00:35:48.300 daughters. And now we have hundreds and thousands of people that watch it. It's because it's

00:35:52.920 consistent, right? Your best tool in your toolbox is consistency. Dan Miller, good friend of mine,

00:35:59.440 15 years. He's never missed a newsletter on Fridays. Heard Darren Hardy speak the other day

00:36:04.080 and he said, best tool in your toolbox consistency. And I can attest to that. I've owned 12 businesses

00:36:09.240 now over 38 years. Consistency day in, day out, day in, day out. And I promise you, if you'll

00:36:16.620 do those mundane tasks over and over for a period of time, you'll have to establish what that period

00:36:21.060 of time is. I promise you, you will excel and the harvest will glean. You'll be able to get the

00:36:27.500 harvest. If you'll do it consistently, if you won't, don't even do it. Just forget it and just

00:36:33.500 say I'm lazy and I won't stick with it and I won't do it. I have to have the accountability partners

00:36:37.840 though. Hey, Aaron, did you do this? I'm in this book launch right now over and over and over. I got

00:36:41.960 to do things. I got to do these podcast interviews. I got to do things. And it's like, did you do it?

00:36:45.700 No, you got to do it. Okay. And you go back and you stay with it. It's like building a muscle.

00:36:50.760 It's the same thing. And you got to keep doing it over and over until it becomes a natural part

00:36:55.700 of your life. Charles Duhigg wrote a great book called The Power of Habit. If you haven't got that

00:37:00.460 book, you need to get it and read it. It'll help you develop new habits in your life that will radically

00:37:05.320 change the way you do things. Yeah, it's a great book and one I recommend a lot. And then also

00:37:09.300 speaking of books, Darren Hardy, you mentioned him. The Compound Effect is one of my most

00:37:13.280 recommended and gifted books. And it talks about the very thing that you're addressing right now.

00:37:17.820 So two great books. Let's add a third one because we are winding down on time, Aaron. And I just want

00:37:22.860 to make sure that the guys know that you do have that book coming up, View From The Top. I want to

00:37:27.980 give you an opportunity to tell us where we can find that book and read the book. But before we get to

00:37:32.900 that question, I do want to ask you the question I ask all of my guests. And that question is,

00:37:37.280 what does it mean to be a man? I know you alluded to it, but I'll let you give it another try right

00:37:42.420 here. Yeah, just because I know, man, you always ask that question and I blew it. But here I'm

00:37:47.260 fixing to redeem myself. You got to have somebody with strong core values, right? If you don't stand

00:37:52.440 for something, you'll fall for anything. So decide today who you are, what you're willing to stand for.

00:37:59.040 Be the man of character, have honesty and integrity, be able to stand alone, right? A lot of my mentor told me,

00:38:06.100 he said, hey, when you believe in something, be willing to stand there alone. Don't lick your

00:38:09.980 finger and stick it in the air to see which way the wind's blowing. And that's your decision.

00:38:13.820 Hey, that ain't a man. A man is willing to stand up and say, these are my core values. This is what

00:38:19.180 I believe in. And I'm willing to stand here on this rock. And this is the thing that I want to

00:38:24.140 accomplish in life as a result of having taken that position and that stand. I think it's a servant

00:38:29.440 leader. I think a man is not weak as being a leader. I think you need to put your wife and

00:38:35.440 your kids ahead of yourself because when you signed up, they're dependent on you. And I think you need

00:38:41.120 to have these core values, be a man of character, honesty and integrity, and be willing to be a

00:38:45.900 servant leader. Then I think we got a real man. Powerful stuff. Powerful stuff. Yeah. And when you

00:38:50.440 do stand up and you have those convictions, they will be tested. I can attest to that. And I know you

00:38:55.140 can as well. Aaron, I appreciate you, man. We went through a lot here today. If the guys are

00:38:59.540 listening and they want to know more about what you are doing and your work, and of course, the book,

00:39:04.140 how do we connect with you and purchase a copy of View from the Top? Yeah. Thanks, Ron, very much,

00:39:08.640 man. It's been a blast to be on here with you today. I am releasing my book right now. It's called

00:39:12.980 View from the Top. You can go to viewfromthetop.com forward slash book. You can get the book there

00:39:18.640 pre-order right now. And if you do that, I give you a copy of the Mastermind Blueprint I was alluding to

00:39:23.700 earlier to tell you how to build a Mastermind. We also give away five interviews with thought

00:39:29.220 leaders. I interviewed five amazing men. I'm going to give away all five of those interviews instead

00:39:35.280 of charging you. So go to viewfromthetop.com forward slash book. And we've only got a few

00:39:40.320 days left to get this. So be sure and jump on right now and go pre-order that. Right on. We will make

00:39:45.360 sure we link that up so anybody who's listening can check that out. Aaron, I got to tell you, man,

00:39:49.000 I appreciate you again coming on the show. I love your energy. I love your passion. You're

00:39:53.560 enthusiasm. And when we had the opportunity to talk again, I jumped on it because I was excited

00:39:58.540 about our conversation and you did not disappoint. So I appreciate you, brother. Thanks, Ryan. Have

00:40:02.540 a good one, buddy. We'll see you. Gentlemen, there it is. My conversation with Aaron Walker. If you are

00:40:08.320 interested in learning more about what he's doing and maybe even interested in picking up a copy of

00:40:12.860 his new book, View from the Top, you can do that at orderaman.com slash 122 as in episode 122.

00:40:19.480 I'm going to end this guys the same way I started, which is by giving you three resources

00:40:23.360 you should check out to further the conversations that we are having here. First, our first ever

00:40:27.880 order of man meetup again, August 12th, 2017 in Kansas city, which you can get the details for

00:40:33.440 at orderaman.com slash event, our closed Facebook group with thousands of men and additional

00:40:39.460 conversations at facebook.com slash groups slash order of man. And third, but not least our exclusive

00:40:45.240 brotherhood, the iron council, which I have mentioned a couple of times a day. You can learn more about

00:40:49.460 that and reserve your seat at the table at order of man.com slash iron council guys. I will look

00:40:54.460 forward to talk with you on Friday for our Friday field notes, but until then take action and become

00:40:58.740 the man you are meant to be. Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast. You're ready to take

00:41:05.420 charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the order

00:41:10.060 order of man.com.

Order of Man - July 18, 2017

122： View From the Top ｜ Aaron Walker

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