Order of Man - 144： Living Your Full Potential ｜ Bedros Keuilian

00:00:00.000 When I talk about reaching your full potential, it's a challenge because reaching that full

00:00:03.900 potential is pretty difficult to define. And it's a moving target. Once you think you've

00:00:08.740 reached it, you realize you've only scratched the surface on what you can actually do.

00:00:12.160 Today, I talk with someone who is striving every single day to do some amazing things

00:00:15.900 in his own life. And of course, helping you do the same. This is a powerful, powerful

00:00:19.920 episode where we dive deep into some uncomfortable conversations about taking charge of your

00:00:24.940 life and producing big. We cover the excuses we like to tell ourselves, learning how to

00:00:30.220 take imperfect action, how to dominate and crush the competition and striving to reach

00:00:35.600 your full potential.

00:00:36.900 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart

00:00:41.600 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time you

00:00:47.180 are not easily deterred, defeated, rugged, resilient, strong. This is your life. This

00:00:53.480 is who you are. This is who you will become at the end of the day. And after all is said

00:00:58.520 and done, you can call yourself a man.

00:01:01.640 Men, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Mickler and I am the host and the founder of

00:01:06.200 this podcast, the one you're listening to right now, The Order of Man. This is a podcast about

00:01:11.140 being a better man. And I want to thank you for joining me on this mission and the cause.

00:01:15.700 I was taking a look at the numbers today and we're about to hit 4 million downloads, 4 million

00:01:21.160 downloads. And of course we're just getting started, but I want to thank you for that.

00:01:24.960 It truly is inspiring. And I also want to ask if you would please share this. We are just

00:01:30.220 getting started. We've been around for a couple of years, but we've got so much more left in

00:01:34.440 us and there's going to be more men that need to hear this. So your brothers, your fathers,

00:01:38.520 your friends, your colleagues, your coworkers, if you would just share this show. And of course

00:01:41.660 the mission of The Order of Man, that would be much appreciated. We need to get this message

00:01:46.160 out. Now I do get also a lot of questions about how to further expand the conversation. Of course,

00:01:51.760 we're mostly digital with a podcast and the blog and the Facebook group and everything else that

00:01:55.980 we have going on. But we also want to take this offline because there's a lot of power that comes

00:02:01.140 from meeting face-to-face, shoulder-to-shoulder with other men. And we've got an opportunity to do

00:02:05.780 that coming up the end of January, January 26th and 27th to be exact in Nashville. We're going to have

00:02:11.760 the brotherhood, the camaraderie breakout sessions, and really opportunities to learn how to be better

00:02:16.880 men in our families, our businesses, our communities, our lives. And of course, we've got the book launch

00:02:22.940 party slash signing as well. There'll be a Q and a for me, everybody who registers will get a copy,

00:02:29.060 a signed copy of the new book coming out, which is going to be launched February 1st. So you're

00:02:32.900 going to get an early copy of that. If you are interested and you want to join us face-to-face,

00:02:37.240 shoulder-to-shoulder, you can do so at orderofman.com slash Nashville.

00:02:41.760 Orderofman.com slash Nashville. Outside of that guys, we've got the Facebook group,

00:02:45.820 facebook.com slash group slash order of man, roughly 40,000 men in there having some amazing,

00:02:51.500 amazing conversations about what it means to be a man. And then we've got our exclusive

00:02:55.140 brotherhood, which I'll tell you more about during the break. That is the iron council here.

00:02:59.480 You'll have an opportunity to band with 330, roughly other men all on the same mission to

00:03:04.420 accomplish big things in their life. Again, I'll tell you more about that during the break,

00:03:07.580 but for now I do want to introduce you to our guest. His name is Bedros Koulian. He's a coach,

00:03:14.700 he's a mentor, he's an author, but more importantly, he is an owner in several multi-million dollar

00:03:21.140 businesses, including the owner and founder of Fit Body Bootcamp. So, you know, this guy is serious,

00:03:26.320 he's legitimate, and he's got so much valuable information to share. Fit Body Bootcamp is actually

00:03:31.060 one of the largest and most successful franchises in the world. You're going to hear the tremendous,

00:03:36.920 tremendous odds this man has overcome, including migrating to the U.S., eating out of dumpsters,

00:03:42.400 having lice washed out of his hair by his mother with fuel. I mean, so many more inspiring stories

00:03:47.860 from this man. He's been featured in Inc., Entrepreneur Magazine, Dr. Oz, The Huffington Post,

00:03:53.620 so many more publications. And today he's here to talk with us about reaching our full potential.

00:03:57.580 Now, guys, I do want to give you a word of warning. This is a very powerful show. There's

00:04:01.840 so much great information in here, but it's also a very colorful show. So if you have sensitive ears

00:04:07.260 that are listening right now, now would be a good time to turn this episode off and listen to it when

00:04:13.300 the sensitive ears aren't tuning in. Again, very powerful. Just want to give that word of warning

00:04:17.260 and word of caution. Now, guys, if you would sit back, take notes if you can, and let's learn how

00:04:21.340 to reach our full potential. Bedros, what's going on, man? Thanks for joining me on the show today.

00:04:26.820 Thank you so much for having me, Ryan. It's a pleasure.

00:04:29.160 Yeah, I'm looking forward to it. I've been following you for a while now,

00:04:31.560 and we were supposed to connect months ago, but weren't able to make that work. And so

00:04:35.240 second time's a charm for us.

00:04:37.220 Yes, indeed. Let's do this, man.

00:04:38.760 Hey, I want to talk with you about ambition. I mean, we just get right into the show here.

00:04:42.120 And one thing that I've noticed about you and that I really admire about what you're up to is just

00:04:45.560 your level of motivation, ambition. Where does that come from? Is that something you've cultivated?

00:04:51.160 Is that your personality?

00:04:52.780 You know what? I don't think it's my personality. I think it's more of my responsibility.

00:04:56.000 And it's not like my dad put this on me, but when we escaped Communist Soviet Union

00:04:59.840 in 1980, came to America, when you're a six-year-old and you come to this country,

00:05:04.520 you don't really realize the opportunity you've been given. But right now, if I were in Armenia

00:05:08.680 in Communist Soviet Union, I would literally be a mechanic or a taxi driver. That's it.

00:05:13.660 And so the fact that my dad was willing to risk his life and gave us this opportunity, 0.97

00:05:17.340 as I got older, I realized, holy shit, I've got this massive responsibility to 0.96

00:05:22.000 really show my dad that I can reach my fullest potential. 0.93

00:05:25.840 So then I went on this whole voyage of figuring out what is my potential and figure that out,

00:05:30.900 develop my potential, my purpose. And now I'm on this hell-bent mission to achieve it before I die.

00:05:37.840 And I get target lock on so bad, no matter if something is good or bad, you know, point me to

00:05:43.460 alcohol or food. I can lock onto it and eat myself into a sickness or point me towards a purpose that's

00:05:49.660 going to change the world. And I can lock onto it as long as I believe in it. And for me,

00:05:52.960 it's fitness because I was a fat kid. I had no self-esteem, low self-image. Nobody talked to me.

00:05:58.620 And part of it was because I just felt like I was a loser. And so when I talked to a friend in school

00:06:03.380 who played football and he helped me figure out how to work out and eat right, and I lost 30 pounds

00:06:08.140 before senior year, I realized, holy smokes, this is my path. This is what I want to do.

00:06:12.660 So for me, it was real simple. I knew that I wanted to be a personal trainer and I wanted to touch

00:06:17.460 hundreds of thousands of lives worldwide. Well, it didn't quite work out that way because I became

00:06:22.100 a personal trainer, but I didn't know how to get clients. So I worked as a bouncer at a gay night 1.00

00:06:26.020 club. I worked as a fry cook at Disneyland, but I always had that side gig as a personal trainer

00:06:31.060 because that's what I wanted to do. And I just stayed locked onto that thing until I finally got

00:06:36.880 it. Now, you know, there was a whole journey that took place and, you know, mentors, et cetera.

00:06:41.160 But my ambition for me comes from wanting to show gratitude towards my dad who brought us to this

00:06:46.480 country. What changed for you in your life to finally recognize to some degree that appreciation

00:06:51.680 for the sacrifices that he made and the risk that he took to be able to do that for you and your

00:06:57.380 family? Well, what changed was I started to understand, right? Because when we came here and

00:07:01.480 I was a six-year-old kid, you know, even though we were broke, we were poor, we didn't have the best

00:07:06.880 living conditions. As long as you're a kid and you're around your mom and dad and your siblings,

00:07:10.640 you're happy. But as I grew up, I started to see the bigotry that my father had to deal with.

00:07:15.520 I remember my dad being yelled at many a times by people saying, go back to your own fucking 1.00

00:07:19.880 country, you foreigner. Go back to your own fucking country. You're taking our jobs. 1.00

00:07:23.200 We can't even understand what you're saying. Go back to your own fucking country. And that was 1.00

00:07:26.180 scarring. And as you become 13, 14, 15 years old, you realize, dang, my dad was doing okay in Armenia,

00:07:33.600 in this communist country, because he was a member of the communist party. He was part of that 18% of the

00:07:37.900 population who was a member. And so we had a good life there. But he knew that odds are his kids,

00:07:43.720 myself, my brother and my sister, who are significantly older than me, were not going

00:07:47.240 to have a good life. And so he wanted to escape. So he let go of a good life to come to a country 1.00

00:07:53.100 where people were yelling at us, were eating out of dumpsters, getting kicked out of apartments,

00:07:57.360 simply because he wanted us to have this opportunity. And so when you realize what your dad traded in,

00:08:04.900 you realize, man, I really owe it to him. Like, that's when I started to step up and go,

00:08:08.060 the only way I can repay my dad is to make life really good for him. And I remember my sister

00:08:14.120 always reminds me of this, because my sister is 15 years older than me. She goes, do you remember

00:08:17.600 when I was 11 years old at this point, someone had yelled at my dad for like, I don't know, 1.00

00:08:21.840 the hundredth time, go back to your own fucking country. And I remember telling my dad and my mom 0.99

00:08:26.320 that I'm going to grow up, I'm going to make so much money, I'm going to take care of you guys,

00:08:29.760 and no one's ever going to yell at you again. And that stuck with me, man. And today I take care of

00:08:34.480 them. They're in their eighties. They have a beautiful house. They travel the world. They've

00:08:37.980 got a chauffeur that I pay for. And I love that. That's awesome, man. One of the things I want to

00:08:42.460 go back to is you talked about being able to lock on and this ability that you have,

00:08:46.000 and it can be harnessed for a good, and it can be hardest as a destructive power as well.

00:08:49.740 You talked about booze and eating and these things like that. How have you used that for good and

00:08:56.740 avoided using that power to self-destruct or to get involved in things that aren't good for you?

00:09:02.480 Yeah. Well, there was a time that I did lock on to being an asshole. And I was locked on to being 1.00

00:09:06.940 a jerk and thinking that I could rip people off so much so that I was involved in a police helicopter 0.99

00:09:12.600 chase in my, let's say I was 19 years old. So me and my friends got into some problems and I was the 0.99

00:09:18.540 getaway driver. And Anaheim Police Department had a helicopter and police cars behind me. And I was

00:09:23.700 trying to get away. Needless to say, you can't get away from the cops. But I was locked on to making

00:09:28.080 money any way possible. And obviously, karma really kicks you in the nuts when you're trying

00:09:33.660 to make money illegally. And that's what happened in that case. So I knew I had this ability to lock

00:09:38.040 on and I had this creative mind where you show me a problem, I can come up with a solution. The

00:09:43.240 solution may not always be legal, but I can come up with a solution. So I said, all right, I don't want

00:09:47.280 karma to kick my ass anymore. So maybe the solutions to the problems that I face have to be legal, have to 0.99

00:09:51.880 be ethical, have to be value adding. And so I decided, you know, and by the way, the police helicopter

00:09:56.400 chase wasn't the only thing. After that, I got beat up by 14 gang members because I ended up

00:10:01.720 beating the shit out of one guy who I didn't know was in a gang earlier in that day. He followed me 0.88

00:10:06.900 back to where I was. And later that night, 14 of them showed up and literally beat the crap out of

00:10:12.900 me. I ended up in a hospital bed. So I realized very quickly that you could only get away doing

00:10:17.080 illegal and shady and criminal activity for so long before a group of guys beat you up or the cops come

00:10:23.520 and get you. And so I had to lock on to something more positive. And so again, I went back to,

00:10:29.380 all right, what do I love? Well, fitness. The whole time I was still fit and strong, which I guess when

00:10:34.920 you're fit and strong and you're beating the shit out of people, it works in your favor until they're 1.00

00:10:37.780 in a group and kick your ass. But I realized, what do I love? Fitness. I'm going to be a trainer. 1.00

00:10:42.660 And so I wanted to help more people. And I got satisfaction out of that. And one thing leads to

00:10:47.080 another and off you go. What was your question? Where'd I go off on this? I started ranting on this,

00:10:51.140 but no, it's good. I just wanted to know the difference between taking the ability to lock

00:10:55.380 on and maybe even obsession to a degree and using that and harnessing it for good, bro. I am fully

00:11:00.360 obsessed. The best entrepreneurs are fully obsessed, fully locked on. They go to the deepest, darkest

00:11:05.200 parts of their mind, of their soul to make their business work. And I don't care what people say

00:11:10.160 that, you know, well, we should all try and save the planet and hug each other and kumbaya. That's all

00:11:13.980 great. And that's all bullshit as well, because the best entrepreneurs bleed. They suffer. Their 1.00

00:11:18.980 family suffer. My family has suffered. I've had ulcers. I've literally bled in the toilet.

00:11:24.600 And I would do it all over again because, listen, I'm going to lock on to something destructive

00:11:28.780 anyway. That's just who I am. But I do know that if I lock on to something that's going to be

00:11:34.320 amazing, like building this fitness franchise that now helps hundreds of millions of people worldwide.

00:11:39.320 And if in the process, if I bleed a little bit, my family suffers a little bit, I'm okay with that.

00:11:43.200 And anyone who wants to be massively successful has to be okay with locking on,

00:11:47.140 getting obsessed, going to the dark side, the darkest, darkest places in your mind, 1.00

00:11:52.300 getting that chip on your shoulder and telling everybody to fuck off. Everyone who's ever told 1.00

00:11:56.000 you or implied that you can't do it, or you got a stupid idea, like this success is for them to 1.00

00:12:00.380 choke on. I love it. So one of the things that you talk a lot about is the immigrant edge. I've 1.00

00:12:05.540 heard you talk about that quite a bit. I'm really curious as to what that is, because I think from

00:12:09.720 the perspective of being born and raised in America, and we take so much for granted and haven't seen

00:12:14.780 anything outside of it and don't have this perspective, what is this like for you having

00:12:19.480 somewhat of a different background? Oh, dude, I'm telling you, if anyone who's born here could

00:12:24.660 somehow go live in a third world country for six months to a year, without the money they have,

00:12:29.820 like just go there broke and be broke. And you'll see how easily you can start getting resourceful.

00:12:34.940 Right now, I'll give you a great example. So we came to this country in 1980, I was six years old.

00:12:41.080 And 1982, when I was eight years old, in one of the 14 different apartments we lived in those two

00:12:46.320 years, they were all slums. And we were in the city of Anaheim, Santa Ana, that area. I got lice.

00:12:52.040 I got lice so bad as a kid, that my mom and dad couldn't afford lice treatment, because we were

00:12:56.480 that broke. We were eating out of dumpsters in the back of grocery stores. My mom made my dad

00:13:01.220 siphon out gasoline from a parked car. And then she used that cup and a half of gasoline to wash my hair 1.00

00:13:08.820 and kill the lice. So people go, you know, I don't have the resources for that knowledge,

00:13:13.720 or I don't have the resources to build that website. Well, get resourceful. If my mom can

00:13:17.360 make my dad siphon out gasoline and find a free solution to kill the lice in her kid's head, 0.98

00:13:23.140 you can certainly find the resources. So I'll give you another example. The immigrant edge makes you 1.00

00:13:27.500 get resourceful when you don't have resources. It makes you look at adversity as a massive advantage.

00:13:33.820 For example, we know we go to the gym and we work out to build our muscles. The more weights

00:13:37.960 you lift over time, the stronger your muscles get. And so the more weights you lift. Well, that's

00:13:42.820 great. That's adversity against your muscles. But why the fuck do we then chicken out when we have

00:13:47.360 adversity against our mental muscles or our entrepreneurial muscles, when you have a little 0.98

00:13:51.820 failure or competition or economy crashes? So when the economy crashed in 2008, I go, holy smokes,

00:13:58.980 what a great opportunity. Everyone is contracting and holding onto their purse strings and no one's

00:14:04.300 spending money on Facebook. This is when I'm going to launch my franchise because I can buy leads for

00:14:09.260 pennies on the dollar. And so I literally remember in 2009 filming pitch videos for Fit Body Bootcamp,

00:14:15.820 our franchise, and the videographer stopping at some point and going, hey, can I ask you a question?

00:14:20.880 I appreciate the job you've given me, but dude, there's like an 11.5% unemployment rate in the

00:14:25.540 country right now and you're trying to sell a $10,000 franchise. Who's going to buy it? And I was like,

00:14:30.540 dude, Facebook ads just got cheaper because everyone's contracting. I'm going to find where

00:14:34.960 the money went and I'm going to find how to extract that money in exchange for a franchise.

00:14:39.500 And he goes, all right, carry on. And he's the guy, his name is Rob. And he goes, you know what you

00:14:43.740 have? You've got this immigrant edge. So that's not even a term that I came up with. That videographer

00:14:48.100 came up with it when he goes, holy smokes, like everyone's contracting, you're trying to expand.

00:14:52.640 And it's because again, I use adversity as an advantage. So when the economy fails, to me,

00:14:57.700 that's just more muscle growth. When competition gets steep, there's just more people to crush

00:15:01.860 and more ways that can make my business better to stand out. I don't ever look at adversity

00:15:06.820 or not having resources as a reason to get into the fetal position and die.

00:15:12.300 I think everybody kind of knows, at least to some degree, how to build physical muscle,

00:15:16.520 but how do you develop and build this mental muscle? That is one of the questions I get a lot.

00:15:20.580 How do you build up mental toughness, fortitude, resiliency? What are some tactics that we can do to

00:15:25.100 employ there? Good question. And it's repetition. And then it's doing it on the smaller thing. So

00:15:30.380 of all the things you listed off, maybe you ought to also throw in there's decisiveness. As an

00:15:34.260 entrepreneur, you have to be decisive. And people go, all right, Bader, so you talk about being

00:15:38.420 decisive. You talk about making decisions and not being fearful of making decisions. Because I always

00:15:42.460 say, if you don't make a decision, circumstances will make the decision for you. And it's often not in

00:15:47.540 your best interest. And in fact, General Colin Powell once said that Americans lose more money

00:15:52.880 by being indecisive than making the wrong decision. Because as soon as you make the wrong decision,

00:15:57.860 and you find out it was the wrong decision, you can course correct. And so to me, decisiveness is

00:16:02.460 a great example. As an entrepreneur, you have to make decisions. But most of the time, you're not

00:16:07.740 ever going to have all the information you need to make the right decision every single time.

00:16:11.360 But what you can do is you can make the decision. So how do we become decisive and not afraid to make

00:16:16.440 big decisions? It starts with the small stuff. So Ryan, if you and I are going to go out tonight for

00:16:20.340 dinner, and we're like, all right, bro, so do we use Lyft or Uber? Fuck, someone make a decision. 1.00

00:16:25.980 Pick one, right? Do we want sushi or do we want steak? So it's going to be, hey, Ryan, listen, 1.00

00:16:30.500 man, I'm going to pick you up in an Uber at seven o'clock. We're going to go at steak. And then

00:16:33.720 afterwards, we're going to go to a bookstore and just hang out and have some coffee and shoot the 1.00

00:16:36.600 shit. All right, bro. Now, if you have an issue with that, you'll go, hey, B, I like the idea of 0.99

00:16:40.500 everything you said, except let's not do Uber. Let's do Lyft. Great. Let's do it. But you have to make

00:16:45.620 the small decisions quickly in your life. What time am I going to work out? Just don't say in the

00:16:49.800 morning, pick a fucking time in the morning, and then go. What shirt am I going to wear? Don't 0.99

00:16:53.860 hem and haw in front of your closet. Grab a goddamn shirt, put it on, and go work out. Go dominate your 1.00

00:16:58.440 day. When you make the small decisions fast, your brain doesn't know the difference when a big

00:17:03.460 decision comes. It just knows that when a question comes up, he answers. When the answer is right or

00:17:08.560 wrong, it doesn't matter. Because if it's right, keep going. If it's wrong, course correct. But you have

00:17:13.820 to train your body to make the small decisions first and make them fast so that when the big decisions

00:17:19.520 come, it feels just as simple. And this works on resiliency. This works on every other thing.

00:17:25.400 This ties in perfectly to what you talk about, which is taking imperfect actions. How do you

00:17:29.900 overcome the paralysis, if you will, that some people face when it comes to taking action,

00:17:36.060 knowing that it's just not going to be right and that's okay?

00:17:38.660 Good question. So the reason most people start hesitating when it's time to take action,

00:17:43.140 and you can just replace the word hesitation with start getting anxiety, is because anxiety or

00:17:48.340 hesitation or fear is just anticipation of future pain. That's all. Anxiety, hesitation,

00:17:54.220 fear is anticipation of future pain. So they go, you know what? I'm going to wait for things to be

00:17:57.900 perfect. I want to have all the perfect information. I want the economy to be perfect. I want to make

00:18:02.000 sure I have the perfect laptop before I launch this business. I want to have the perfect employees

00:18:05.260 around me. I want to make sure they have the perfect ebook cover. Fucking stop it. There's no such

00:18:09.920 thing as perfect. We have to take imperfect action and then course correct as we go. If you said that

00:18:15.820 I'm going to go to grandmama's house and it's an eight mile drive and I'm going to hold the steering

00:18:19.380 wheel perfectly straight, you'll end up crashing into a tree or a car or something because the road

00:18:23.920 curves and moves and there's bumps and stuff. And every second you're making hundreds of tiny little

00:18:29.520 movements, corrections on that steering wheel. So driving is imperfect. Breathing is imperfect.

00:18:35.040 When you woke up today, your day is imperfect. How do you expect everything else to be perfect?

00:18:39.300 And so most people cop out because they believe that I have to wait for perfection.

00:18:44.060 When in reality, what they're saying is I have a fear or I have anxiety about taking this action.

00:18:50.320 And I'm here to remind them that fear and anxiety is just anticipation of future pain.

00:18:54.420 And I'm here to tell you that the future pain that you're anticipating is all in your mind

00:18:57.900 because we always make up the worst case scenario. When in reality, it's never as bad as you think,

00:19:02.840 even if the worst case scenario happens. How do you know once you've made a decision

00:19:06.560 when it's time to make a course correction? Oh, you know, it's time to make a course correction

00:19:11.660 when things aren't working out the way they're supposed to. Now, unfortunately, most people think

00:19:16.340 that things are supposed to work out perfectly right out the gate. Like I'm a 15 year overnight

00:19:20.520 success. When I was bleeding, you didn't know of me. When I was eating one small meal a day and was

00:19:25.620 unable to digest. And so I was throwing it up. You didn't know of me, Ryan. I would literally walk

00:19:29.960 from my apartment to my car in the carport. And I had to like a fucking vampire walk through the 1.00

00:19:35.320 shadows because when the sun would just touch my skin, my skin would burn this physical tingling burn. 0.99

00:19:39.620 I would have essential tremors where I would lock up and just tip over and freeze for like a minute

00:19:44.800 or two. And my wife wouldn't have no idea what's going on. She just, you know, dogpiled on me with 1.00

00:19:48.120 blankets. I would have anxiety attacks so bad that I was having to go to the hospital. But nobody was

00:19:53.240 around when all that was happening. Now they're seeing the big franchise. Now they're seeing the

00:19:56.660 coaching clients. Now they're seeing all the thought leaders that I coach and consult. So you have to

00:20:01.100 give it a decade, a decade and a half to succeed. Now, when do you know it's time to course correct?

00:20:05.560 Sometimes you might know early on a year in six months in, but I say, ask a mentor. Like when

00:20:12.340 you're in the trees, you don't have the outside eyes. You're just seeing the trees. You don't

00:20:15.960 realize you're in a fucking forest. And so most people need to go, Hey mentor, I've been doing 1.00

00:20:20.040 this for six months. I'm not seeing any money. I'm already $50,000 in. Should I keep going?

00:20:24.900 Cause you're successful. And I figured you would know the answer. Or should I stop? The mentor might go,

00:20:29.800 Oh, you know what? You're almost on the right track. Just pivot 90 degrees this way and keep going.

00:20:34.200 Or they might say, that's an absolutely stupid idea. I can't believe you started it. 1.00

00:20:37.540 I'm glad you asked me now. Let's course correct completely and move on. But in the beginning,

00:20:42.580 you have to have mentors around you, people that you trust, people who have been there

00:20:46.220 already where you want to go. And if you don't have those mentors, then you have to,

00:20:50.580 man, you have to have a strong gut. But for me, I was fortunate enough to write mentors. I was a

00:20:54.720 personal trainer. I had clients. These clients were financially successful. And I would ask them

00:20:59.660 because I couldn't afford a mentor, a coach, someone to guide me along. But I would say,

00:21:04.100 Hey, look, this is what I'm trying to do. I'm trying to start a personal training studio.

00:21:07.040 Am I on the right track? Is this what you would do? And they would say, no, try it this way. And I

00:21:11.420 would. You bring up a really good point when you talk about mentors, because one of the questions I

00:21:15.520 get asked all the time is how to find mentors. But you just, you alluded to it right there is find

00:21:19.980 somebody who's succeeding at the level that you want to succeed at and ask them a handful of

00:21:24.000 questions. It's really that simple. That's it. And people go, well, but what if I can't pay

00:21:28.080 them, add some other value to their lives? I was a personal trainer. I was training this guy named

00:21:32.200 Jim Franco three times a week. As soon as I realized that he was a millionaire and he had

00:21:36.120 good business sense and I wanted his business sense, I said, Jim, can I train you four days a

00:21:40.760 week? The fourth day will be on me. And in exchange, if you can hang out for a half hour

00:21:45.420 and just give me some guidance on my ideas. He goes, sure, kid. And off we went. So you don't

00:21:50.000 always have to find a mentor, pay him. There's people all around you who are willing. Because let me

00:21:54.520 tell you, everyone who's been successful knows the darkness, the loneliness, the suffering in

00:22:00.020 silence, how painful it is. And we are willing to help others. You just have to ask.

00:22:06.340 I want to talk with you about our sponsor Health IQ. We've been talking about reaching your full

00:22:11.260 potential, but let's be honest, in some cases, and heaven forbid this happens, but it does,

00:22:16.200 our full potential is cut short if we were to die. We've got a responsibility to take care of our

00:22:22.260 families even after we pass away. And that's why I want to talk with you about Health IQ

00:22:25.920 and the life insurance that they offer. Health IQ is an insurance company that helps health

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00:22:57.300 life insurance, which means that you can protect your family, which I think is important, but

00:23:02.600 also keep more money in your pocket, which is also important. That's the same concept for

00:23:07.860 being a good driver with your auto insurance. These guys are going to save you money on your

00:23:11.900 life insurance for living a health conscious lifestyle. You can learn more and get your free

00:23:16.200 quote at health IQ.com slash order of man. Again, that's health IQ.com slash order Amanda

00:23:22.940 support the show. And of course, get your free quote and see if you can save money on your life

00:23:27.140 insurance. What does brotherhood even mean? Quite honestly, this is a word that I toss around quite

00:23:33.300 a bit when I talk about our exclusive brotherhood, the iron council, but I don't really talk a whole

00:23:37.860 lot about what that even means to me. A brotherhood is a group of men banded together towards a common

00:23:43.440 purpose. In this case of the iron council, it's about becoming a better man in every facet of our

00:23:48.740 lives. So when you join with a brotherhood, whether it's the iron council or something else,

00:23:52.820 the men that you're surrounded with should have an extreme desire to help themselves and to help you

00:23:59.060 succeed. And since that's the objective, you essentially give your permission for these men

00:24:03.940 to do and say the things that need to be done and said to help you achieve your objectives. This isn't a

00:24:09.300 place to feel warm and cozy and get pats on the back and reaffirm how good you're doing.

00:24:13.440 These are real conversations that need to be had in order to drive you to do some things that

00:24:18.740 you've never done. So if that sounds like something you need and something you're interested in,

00:24:23.740 join us inside the iron council at order of man.com slash iron council. Again,

00:24:28.780 order of man.com slash iron council. It's not always easy, not always comfortable,

00:24:32.820 but if you really want to accomplish big things, I can know a lot of you do.

00:24:36.560 You're not really looking for the comfortable and easy path. Anyways, again,

00:24:39.680 order of man.com slash iron council.

00:24:43.440 I want to go back to the health challenges that you were dealing with. What did that stem from? And

00:24:48.620 I'm assuming you're not dealing with those problems anymore. Help me understand how you

00:24:53.040 overcame some of that stuff. Yeah. So the problems really started setting in around 2011, 2012,

00:24:58.660 and they got really bad in 2013. I wanted to be rushed to the doctor's office because I thought I

00:25:03.040 had a massive heart attack and I was so ignorant that I thought I actually survived a heart attack, 0.59

00:25:07.100 Brian. When in reality, it was a massive anxiety attack that was so crippling. My throat was closing up.

00:25:12.860 I had tunnel vision. My arms were tingling. I couldn't even stand straight. So I had to like

00:25:16.680 sit down on the ground and all of a sudden it's just kind of washed away. And in my head, I go,

00:25:21.460 huh, look at that. I just fought off a heart attack and went about my business. That night I told my

00:25:26.260 wife and she goes, dude, we got to take you to the doctor. The next day I went to the doctor.

00:25:29.920 And of course they put you through the stress test, EKG and all that. Turns out it was the first of many

00:25:34.300 massive anxiety attacks that would keep me awake at night. And then when I started to will away the

00:25:39.240 anxiety attacks, all of a sudden I'm faced with essential tremors. And so my body locks up at the

00:25:45.140 end of a long day of work because my central nervous system wants me to stop, but I'm not stopping.

00:25:50.500 And all of that was stemming from, by the way, because I was a poorly disciplined, ineffective

00:25:55.600 leader. By that point, I had about five or six people working for me. Like most entrepreneurs,

00:26:00.960 I started off as a solopreneur and I knew that I have work ethic that I could count on myself and that 0.95

00:26:06.000 I can get shit done. But you have then a second employee, third employee, fourth, fifth, sixth,

00:26:10.420 you have different personalities. And I didn't know how to manage people because I still wasn't

00:26:15.160 confident in myself. I still didn't have the self-esteem and self-image that I wanted to have

00:26:19.740 or needed to have. Ryan, when a employee showed up late, instead of correcting them or having a talk

00:26:26.240 with them or writing them up like a entrepreneur should do, I would simply have this passive aggressive

00:26:31.580 adversary relationship with them. I'd start resenting them. And then when I had a business

00:26:36.300 partner who I wasn't necessarily excited to have because I would work as though I owned 100% of the

00:26:41.900 business, he would work as though he owned 10% of the business, even though we were 50, 50 partners,

00:26:46.340 instead of talking with him and saying, Hey man, you know, we got to be equally yoked here. Again,

00:26:51.360 I started building resentment and had this adversary relationship. And I know where it's from.

00:26:55.480 A lot of it is from because I don't want to hurt people's feelings. I was approval seeking.

00:26:59.520 I cared what people thought so much that I sacrificed my health, my relationship, even

00:27:05.340 my finances. Because in early 2014, I almost went bankrupt and folded Fit Body Bootcamp on

00:27:12.460 what was supposed to be this global franchise now should not exist had I not decided to man

00:27:17.440 up. And it was in 2014 that I finally decided, you know what, it's time to man up and become

00:27:22.080 an effective leader and to have the talks and communications and be decisive and wake up

00:27:26.680 early and actually start focusing on my fitness again. Everything that I had done when I was

00:27:31.540 younger to stay fit, I let go of and slowly things started to erode and you all of a sudden

00:27:37.600 feel like an imposter and you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings or you don't want to

00:27:41.860 have this awkward conversation or what if they quit? I mean, I was having these thoughts in

00:27:46.600 my head that what if a mediocre employee quits? What am I going to do now? Like that's how awful

00:27:52.200 my business was. And when I chose to become an effective leader and first to control of myself,

00:27:57.060 my headspace, my health, my fitness, my body, and started saying no to many opportunities so I can

00:28:02.660 say yes to the one opportunity, my franchise, I then started holding my employees to a higher

00:28:07.840 expectation. Ironically, more than half of them either quit or got fired within 90 days,

00:28:12.360 but I was now able to replace them with what I call fighter jets. I went from crop dusters to fighter jets

00:28:18.000 because I had higher self-esteem, I had higher expectations, and I was able to hire people

00:28:23.260 who fit that bill. I imagine that doesn't happen overnight. Someone doesn't go from

00:28:28.540 seeking approval of others and wanting to please everybody to now this assertive dominant type

00:28:34.280 leader, crop duster to fighter, for example. What does that actually look like? What are some of the

00:28:39.860 strategies and the things that you implemented first in order to adopt this new mindset?

00:28:44.280 Yeah, I'll tell you, you're absolutely right. It's not an overnight thing. It's not a light switch.

00:28:47.620 I wish it was a light switch where I can go, man up, dude, and then bam, the light switch goes off,

00:28:51.820 and you're a perfect leader. You're decisive. You know how to communicate. You've got clarity of

00:28:55.440 vision, and you only hire A-level players, and as soon as they're one degree off, you course correct

00:29:00.220 them. I just described to you what a high-performance leader is like. That was not me. Like I said,

00:29:05.420 in 2011, 12, 13, things got really bad, and it was a three-and-a-half-year, four-year journey for me to

00:29:12.240 become an effective leader, and I'm still a work in progress. I still don't think I'm the leader that I'm

00:29:16.340 going to be because if I was, I'd be doing $100 million a year now and not $20 million, right?

00:29:20.560 So I know my company has the potential to do $100 million a year, so I'm still not that leader.

00:29:24.560 I still don't have that team. I still don't have that vision clear, but I'm as clear as I've ever

00:29:29.140 been, and so what effective leadership looks like, it starts with you first. It's about leading from

00:29:34.820 the front, and I remember going, all right, I'm going to start manning up and start firing people or

00:29:39.220 having more expectations of them, but I was still showing up late to work because I didn't want to come

00:29:43.840 them to my office. I didn't want to talk to my business partner. I had anxiety talking to them,

00:29:48.680 so I said, wait a minute. They see me as an imposter right now because I'm asking them to show up early

00:29:53.100 or at least on time and to do the work, yet I'm behind on schedule. I'm missing out on meetings,

00:29:58.460 and so it starts with you first. Lead from the front and then set high expectations for them.

00:30:03.680 Become decisive. Stop hitting the snooze button. Start working out. Start eating right,

00:30:08.260 and then expect that of them, and get clear on your vision. My employees didn't know if I wanted

00:30:13.360 100 Fit Body Bootcamp locations worldwide or 2,500 locations, and they didn't know when I wanted it

00:30:18.600 by. Today, we've got a mission statement that everybody jives by. We've got all 46 people in

00:30:23.260 our building here who have an amazing culture, great morale, and it's because we're clear on our

00:30:27.500 vision. We're clear on our path. We're a team and not employees anymore. When I refer to now,

00:30:32.740 I say team. Back then, it was employees because employees clock in a little late,

00:30:38.560 clock out a little early, do the bare minimum to maintain employment. A team member, a high

00:30:43.560 performance team is a group of individuals who have a common goal, and they want to win at that

00:30:48.840 goal. They want to win, and I just happen to be the team leader, but it all was not a light switch,

00:30:53.680 man. It was like a dimmer switch, and sometimes that switch goes down, and you go, oh, oh, oh,

00:30:56.720 bring it back up, bring it back up, because every time you deal with adversity, you go,

00:31:00.800 I don't want to have this conversation. I don't want to have to have this negative

00:31:03.680 conversation with my business partner, but I said, it's time to man up, dude, and I would

00:31:07.180 have the conversation. One, it's time to man up after another. I ended up here, and I still have

00:31:13.420 a long way to go. Yes, we do. We all do, right? Well, you're talking about mindset. I'm really

00:31:17.160 curious about your distinction between being broke versus poor, because this is something that I've

00:31:22.060 seen you make, this distinction I've seen you make in the past, and I think it has to do with

00:31:25.200 mindset. Walk me through the distinction between those two terms. Yet another immigrant edge 1.00

00:31:29.280 mentality. When I came to this country, we were broke and poor. Broke to me is you're out of

00:31:34.820 money. Poor is a state of mind. You feel that money is not attracted to you. Poor means that

00:31:40.680 others have money, and you don't. Poor means that you don't believe in abundance. You believe in

00:31:45.140 scarcity, right? So Donald Trump has been broke many times, but he's never had a poor mindset. He's

00:31:52.480 been broke, and I tell my wife now, I'm like, hey, listen, I might make a bad decision with the

00:31:56.100 franchise, and we might end up going broke. But I'll tell you this, I'll never be poor, because

00:32:00.060 I will be broke for a small amount of time, and then I will find a solution to a problem that

00:32:05.040 society is having, and I will start charging for that solution. I will make money again. I'll get

00:32:09.800 us right side up again. So being broke is, you might have made a bad decision, and you're out of

00:32:14.960 money right now. Being poor is a state of mind. I doubt myself. I don't believe I'm worthy of success,

00:32:20.880 of money. I don't believe that I have a good relationship with money. I don't believe that I deserve

00:32:24.520 money. People got to break out of this poor mentality, man, because it's fucking choking 0.99

00:32:28.860 people out. I listened to a podcast interview that you did, and you were talking about the book that 0.97

00:32:34.260 I know you have coming up later in 2018, which we'll probably address at that point. And you

00:32:38.940 talked about you want to use this as a tool to make the most amount of money that you possibly can.

00:32:44.320 And I was really intrigued by that statement, because although I believe that statement to be true,

00:32:48.360 it's something that's a little bit counterintuitive and not common thinking. And I think there's a lot of

00:32:53.040 people who are probably listening to this that have a problem reconciling, adding value and being

00:32:58.160 valuable and making money doing it. Can you help me sync the two up?

00:33:03.560 Yeah, yeah, absolutely. So my goal is to make the book a New York Times bestseller. My goal is to use

00:33:07.780 the book to get up on stage and speak to hundreds of thousands of people so I can get coaching clients

00:33:13.500 who are paying me $50,000 to $100,000 to come on board and then 10% to 20% of equity in their

00:33:18.100 business. I want to control so many businesses out there. And I want to make so much obscene amount

00:33:23.260 of money because I realize now money is only a vehicle to freedom and impact nothing else money 1.00

00:33:29.120 is bad when I go get a hooker and put cocaine on her tits and snort it. That's when money is bad. 1.00

00:33:33.900 But money is great when I want to help people. And when I want to take care of my family,

00:33:38.060 and when I want to be free. And listen, I use money to buy back my time. I use money to help

00:33:43.760 Shriners Children's Hospital. They have 22 hospitals right behind my computer. In fact,

00:33:47.880 right now, I'm pointing this way because I got a Facebook Live running. I got six awards

00:33:51.740 from Shriners Children's Hospital sitting on the shelf. It's not because of my good looks. It's

00:33:55.700 because of all the obscene amount of money I've gave them to build up the hospitals for kids who

00:33:59.500 couldn't afford medical treatments. Because when I came to this country, I couldn't afford medical

00:34:02.780 treatments. We've got 52 kids adopted through Compassion International. My goal is to have 5,000 kids

00:34:08.040 adopted through Compassion International. Those kids aren't free. They cost me money. Right now,

00:34:12.300 actually, this Saturday, we're locking down the Target in Chino Hills. And we're going to spend

00:34:16.600 over $200,000 of our money to buy toys for Toys for Tots. So the kids who otherwise would not have

00:34:22.680 any toys to open on Christmas morning can have toys to open that costs money. When I fly first class with

00:34:28.200 my family, sometimes I want to buy out the entire first class because I just do. And there's nothing

00:34:33.120 wrong with that. And I've been broke. I've been poor. I've eaten out of dumpsters. I've had my hair

00:34:38.820 washed with gasoline. I've lived in slums. I've had my house broken into. I don't like that lifestyle.

00:34:43.540 I doubted where my next paycheck was going to come from. I've seen how lack of money creates

00:34:48.140 static and negative energy between family members. And I don't want that for me. And so I want to make

00:34:53.880 an obscene amount of money, but in exchange for a massive value that I plan on adding to the world.

00:34:59.080 And more people need to look at it that way.

00:35:01.400 I've heard you talk a lot about the American dream. And I really am interested in your perspective

00:35:06.000 of what that is and how you've created that for yourself.

00:35:08.960 Yeah, man. Oh, the American dream. Listen, people think that the American dream is dead. And in fact,

00:35:13.440 I read a study, Ryan, just last year, 2016. And it said that 74% of Americans believe that the

00:35:20.840 American dream is dead. And then the article went on to define the American dream. You go to college,

00:35:25.540 you get your degree, either a four-year or an MBA, you get into this business, you stay there for 25,

00:35:31.220 35 years, and you come out of there with a pension and a retirement fund and a gold Rolex. 0.98

00:35:37.280 Fucking A, that's not the American dream. The American dream is now available to more of us 0.96

00:35:42.500 easily. The barrier to the American dream is lower. Here's why. If anybody listening to this

00:35:48.220 has a solution to a problem and they want to sell it to the masses in the world, they no longer have

00:35:54.700 to go to ABC, NBC, cable network channels to buy airtime. They could literally start creating how-to

00:36:01.320 videos on YouTube and Facebook and Instagram. And through these how-to videos can start building

00:36:06.980 a tribe of prospects. And then they can go to PayPal and create a free shopping cart. Then they can go to

00:36:13.740 WordPress and create a free website. And then they can convert a Word doc into a PDF or a series of

00:36:19.860 videos using their iPhone. I mean, you literally have an info product or a coaching business,

00:36:25.280 or you can link up with someone through GoFundMe and raise the capital to create a product or a

00:36:31.480 service that the world needs. The barrier to entry to the American dream has never been lower than

00:36:36.300 today. It is not retiring from a company after 30 fucking years of service, only to have that company 0.96

00:36:41.540 say, sorry, we're not going to give you the pension plan and the retirement fund that we thought we 0.94

00:36:45.140 could because we underestimated what the future holds. The American dream is you taking control

00:36:50.060 of your own life, of your own destiny, and doing something with it, building a massive amount of

00:36:55.420 wealth. Because at the end of the day, I got to take care of my kids. I got to take care of the

00:37:00.560 charities that I see value in. I got to make sure that my parents and my wife's parents are buried.

00:37:05.960 We don't want to think that they might end up in the sick home or in the hospital. But what if they do?

00:37:10.480 Oh, well, I didn't account for that. So I didn't make that kind of money. Fucking A,

00:37:13.340 go make that kind of money. So God forbid your parents or her parents end up in a hospital or 1.00

00:37:18.560 an early grave, you can take care of that. There's nothing more empowering than being able to solve

00:37:23.860 problems with money. Yeah. Powerful stuff. I'm fired up. Just listening to you. I'm fired up.

00:37:28.740 Bedros, we're running up against time. I want to ask you as we wind down. Well, first of all,

00:37:32.460 is there anything that I should have asked you that I didn't? Because you are a inspiring and

00:37:36.620 motivational guy. I want to make sure we get the most of this. No, man. I think you asked me

00:37:40.380 everything that's worth asking. Good. Well, the next question is,

00:37:43.340 what does it mean to be a man? Oh, dude, what means to be a man is to be able to pay it forward

00:37:48.120 to your kids, especially men who have little boys as sons. Holy cow. I can tell you this,

00:37:54.100 dude, and I don't talk about this a lot. But as a young boy, between the ages of four and six,

00:37:58.160 I was molested by two older boys repetitively in Armenia. Thank God we escaped that fucking communist 1.00

00:38:03.100 country. And I grew up with a chip on my shoulder with rage, with anger, with shame. And as a man, 1.00

00:38:09.560 we have a responsibility to our kids, bro. The money's all great. And I'm going to teach my kids

00:38:14.800 to make lots of money and to help people with their money because money can multiply help. You

00:38:19.180 can go and make one sandwich at a time at a soup kitchen. I can have boatloads of sandwiches show

00:38:23.900 up at a soup kitchen with money. And that's how we help with money. But as a man, if you can raise

00:38:29.580 good kids who are strong, who have a voice, who know how to say no, who can go and tell an adult,

00:38:35.360 man, I've raised my kids now. One is 10 years old. One is 12 years old as modern day nights.

00:38:41.400 And I think as a man, we have that responsibility to do that. That might sound a little old fashioned

00:38:45.520 to some people and that's okay. Fuck them. But that's the responsibility that I have more than 1.00

00:38:49.920 making money is to raise decent human beings that are going to help this fucking planet and be strong 0.97

00:38:55.260 and have a voice and have confidence. Everything that I didn't have. 0.97

00:38:58.680 That's powerful stuff. Well, how do we connect with you and learn more about what you're doing?

00:39:02.580 Easiest, fastest way to connect with me is on social media, you know, Instagram, Facebook,

00:39:06.840 or just to go to my website, manup.com. Right on. We'll make sure we link that all up.

00:39:12.100 Bajor, so I got to tell you, I appreciate the intensity. It's always fun to have a conversation 1.00

00:39:15.740 with somebody as fired up as you are. And that's infectious, quite honestly. And I know you've been

00:39:20.200 a big help in my business as I've expanded and pursued the American dream for myself. So I want

00:39:24.800 to tell you, I appreciate you and the way you show up. Thanks, man. I really appreciate you and the

00:39:28.580 opportunity here, Ryan. Gentlemen, there it is. Mr. Bedros Koulian. Again,

00:39:33.600 I hope you learned so much from this episode. I know that I certainly did. I was taking notes

00:39:38.180 throughout the episode. I know a lot of this stuff I'm going to apply in my personal life,

00:39:42.580 and I hope you do the same. If you would, if you enjoyed this show, what I would encourage you to do

00:39:46.940 is to reach out to me, reach out to Bedros on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter, wherever you are.

00:39:52.560 Let us know what your biggest takeaway from the show was. I enjoy reading that stuff. I enjoy seeing

00:39:57.620 how you guys are applying what is being learned. So you can hit us up on any of the social media

00:40:02.400 channels that you happen to be on. And if you want the links for this show, any of the information

00:40:07.600 that we talked about, you can head to order of man.com slash one four four. Now, in the meantime,

00:40:12.860 guys, I gave you a couple of announcements earlier in the show. We've got the live meetup January 26th

00:40:17.980 and 27th in Nashville, 2018. You can get registered at order of man.com slash Nashville. Make sure you do

00:40:25.260 that. That's going to be a book launch party slash camaraderie brotherhood breakout sessions.

00:40:30.200 So much information going on there to help you really launch your 2018 with a bang. Other than

00:40:35.840 that, you can join our Facebook group at facebook.com slash groups slash order of man and our

00:40:40.700 exclusive brotherhood for those select few who are always looking to level up and really do the

00:40:46.060 things that need to be done and have the conversations that need to be had in order to

00:40:49.560 excel on new levels. You can do that at order of man.com slash iron council. I will look forward

00:40:55.500 to talking with you on Friday for our Friday field notes, but until then take action and become the

00:41:00.040 man you are meant to be. Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast. You're ready to take

00:41:05.980 charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the order

00:41:10.640 of man.com.

Order of Man - December 19, 2017

144： Living Your Full Potential ｜ Bedros Keuilian

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