144： Living Your Full Potential ｜ Bedros Keuilian
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
225.66737
Summary
In this episode, Ryan interviews Bedros Koulian, founder and CEO of Fit Body Bootcamp, a multi-million dollar business. Bedros shares his story about how he went from a small town to owning one of the most successful franchises in the country.
Transcript
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When I talk about reaching your full potential, it's a challenge because reaching that full
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potential is pretty difficult to define. And it's a moving target. Once you think you've
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reached it, you realize you've only scratched the surface on what you can actually do.
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Today, I talk with someone who is striving every single day to do some amazing things
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in his own life. And of course, helping you do the same. This is a powerful, powerful
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episode where we dive deep into some uncomfortable conversations about taking charge of your
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life and producing big. We cover the excuses we like to tell ourselves, learning how to
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take imperfect action, how to dominate and crush the competition and striving to reach
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You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart
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your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time you
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are not easily deterred, defeated, rugged, resilient, strong. This is your life. This
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is who you are. This is who you will become at the end of the day. And after all is said
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Men, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Mickler and I am the host and the founder of
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this podcast, the one you're listening to right now, The Order of Man. This is a podcast about
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being a better man. And I want to thank you for joining me on this mission and the cause.
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I was taking a look at the numbers today and we're about to hit 4 million downloads, 4 million
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downloads. And of course we're just getting started, but I want to thank you for that.
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It truly is inspiring. And I also want to ask if you would please share this. We are just
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getting started. We've been around for a couple of years, but we've got so much more left in
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us and there's going to be more men that need to hear this. So your brothers, your fathers,
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your friends, your colleagues, your coworkers, if you would just share this show. And of course
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the mission of The Order of Man, that would be much appreciated. We need to get this message
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out. Now I do get also a lot of questions about how to further expand the conversation. Of course,
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we're mostly digital with a podcast and the blog and the Facebook group and everything else that
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we have going on. But we also want to take this offline because there's a lot of power that comes
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from meeting face-to-face, shoulder-to-shoulder with other men. And we've got an opportunity to do
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that coming up the end of January, January 26th and 27th to be exact in Nashville. We're going to have
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the brotherhood, the camaraderie breakout sessions, and really opportunities to learn how to be better
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men in our families, our businesses, our communities, our lives. And of course, we've got the book launch
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party slash signing as well. There'll be a Q and a for me, everybody who registers will get a copy,
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a signed copy of the new book coming out, which is going to be launched February 1st. So you're
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going to get an early copy of that. If you are interested and you want to join us face-to-face,
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shoulder-to-shoulder, you can do so at orderofman.com slash Nashville.
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Orderofman.com slash Nashville. Outside of that guys, we've got the Facebook group,
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facebook.com slash group slash order of man, roughly 40,000 men in there having some amazing,
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amazing conversations about what it means to be a man. And then we've got our exclusive
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brotherhood, which I'll tell you more about during the break. That is the iron council here.
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You'll have an opportunity to band with 330, roughly other men all on the same mission to
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accomplish big things in their life. Again, I'll tell you more about that during the break,
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but for now I do want to introduce you to our guest. His name is Bedros Koulian. He's a coach,
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he's a mentor, he's an author, but more importantly, he is an owner in several multi-million dollar
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businesses, including the owner and founder of Fit Body Bootcamp. So, you know, this guy is serious,
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he's legitimate, and he's got so much valuable information to share. Fit Body Bootcamp is actually
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one of the largest and most successful franchises in the world. You're going to hear the tremendous,
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tremendous odds this man has overcome, including migrating to the U.S., eating out of dumpsters,
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having lice washed out of his hair by his mother with fuel. I mean, so many more inspiring stories
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from this man. He's been featured in Inc., Entrepreneur Magazine, Dr. Oz, The Huffington Post,
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so many more publications. And today he's here to talk with us about reaching our full potential.
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Now, guys, I do want to give you a word of warning. This is a very powerful show. There's
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so much great information in here, but it's also a very colorful show. So if you have sensitive ears
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that are listening right now, now would be a good time to turn this episode off and listen to it when
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the sensitive ears aren't tuning in. Again, very powerful. Just want to give that word of warning
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and word of caution. Now, guys, if you would sit back, take notes if you can, and let's learn how
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to reach our full potential. Bedros, what's going on, man? Thanks for joining me on the show today.
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Thank you so much for having me, Ryan. It's a pleasure.
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Yeah, I'm looking forward to it. I've been following you for a while now,
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and we were supposed to connect months ago, but weren't able to make that work. And so
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Hey, I want to talk with you about ambition. I mean, we just get right into the show here.
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And one thing that I've noticed about you and that I really admire about what you're up to is just
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your level of motivation, ambition. Where does that come from? Is that something you've cultivated?
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You know what? I don't think it's my personality. I think it's more of my responsibility.
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And it's not like my dad put this on me, but when we escaped Communist Soviet Union
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in 1980, came to America, when you're a six-year-old and you come to this country,
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you don't really realize the opportunity you've been given. But right now, if I were in Armenia
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in Communist Soviet Union, I would literally be a mechanic or a taxi driver. That's it.
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And so the fact that my dad was willing to risk his life and gave us this opportunity,
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as I got older, I realized, holy shit, I've got this massive responsibility to
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really show my dad that I can reach my fullest potential.
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So then I went on this whole voyage of figuring out what is my potential and figure that out,
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develop my potential, my purpose. And now I'm on this hell-bent mission to achieve it before I die.
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And I get target lock on so bad, no matter if something is good or bad, you know, point me to
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alcohol or food. I can lock onto it and eat myself into a sickness or point me towards a purpose that's
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going to change the world. And I can lock onto it as long as I believe in it. And for me,
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it's fitness because I was a fat kid. I had no self-esteem, low self-image. Nobody talked to me.
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And part of it was because I just felt like I was a loser. And so when I talked to a friend in school
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who played football and he helped me figure out how to work out and eat right, and I lost 30 pounds
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before senior year, I realized, holy smokes, this is my path. This is what I want to do.
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So for me, it was real simple. I knew that I wanted to be a personal trainer and I wanted to touch
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hundreds of thousands of lives worldwide. Well, it didn't quite work out that way because I became
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a personal trainer, but I didn't know how to get clients. So I worked as a bouncer at a gay night
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club. I worked as a fry cook at Disneyland, but I always had that side gig as a personal trainer
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because that's what I wanted to do. And I just stayed locked onto that thing until I finally got
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it. Now, you know, there was a whole journey that took place and, you know, mentors, et cetera.
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But my ambition for me comes from wanting to show gratitude towards my dad who brought us to this
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country. What changed for you in your life to finally recognize to some degree that appreciation
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for the sacrifices that he made and the risk that he took to be able to do that for you and your
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family? Well, what changed was I started to understand, right? Because when we came here and
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I was a six-year-old kid, you know, even though we were broke, we were poor, we didn't have the best
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living conditions. As long as you're a kid and you're around your mom and dad and your siblings,
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you're happy. But as I grew up, I started to see the bigotry that my father had to deal with.
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I remember my dad being yelled at many a times by people saying, go back to your own fucking
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country, you foreigner. Go back to your own fucking country. You're taking our jobs.
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We can't even understand what you're saying. Go back to your own fucking country. And that was
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scarring. And as you become 13, 14, 15 years old, you realize, dang, my dad was doing okay in Armenia,
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in this communist country, because he was a member of the communist party. He was part of that 18% of the
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population who was a member. And so we had a good life there. But he knew that odds are his kids,
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myself, my brother and my sister, who are significantly older than me, were not going
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to have a good life. And so he wanted to escape. So he let go of a good life to come to a country
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where people were yelling at us, were eating out of dumpsters, getting kicked out of apartments,
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simply because he wanted us to have this opportunity. And so when you realize what your dad traded in,
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you realize, man, I really owe it to him. Like, that's when I started to step up and go,
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the only way I can repay my dad is to make life really good for him. And I remember my sister
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always reminds me of this, because my sister is 15 years older than me. She goes, do you remember
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when I was 11 years old at this point, someone had yelled at my dad for like, I don't know,
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the hundredth time, go back to your own fucking country. And I remember telling my dad and my mom
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that I'm going to grow up, I'm going to make so much money, I'm going to take care of you guys,
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and no one's ever going to yell at you again. And that stuck with me, man. And today I take care of
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them. They're in their eighties. They have a beautiful house. They travel the world. They've
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got a chauffeur that I pay for. And I love that. That's awesome, man. One of the things I want to
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go back to is you talked about being able to lock on and this ability that you have,
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and it can be harnessed for a good, and it can be hardest as a destructive power as well.
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You talked about booze and eating and these things like that. How have you used that for good and
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avoided using that power to self-destruct or to get involved in things that aren't good for you?
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Yeah. Well, there was a time that I did lock on to being an asshole. And I was locked on to being
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a jerk and thinking that I could rip people off so much so that I was involved in a police helicopter
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chase in my, let's say I was 19 years old. So me and my friends got into some problems and I was the
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getaway driver. And Anaheim Police Department had a helicopter and police cars behind me. And I was
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trying to get away. Needless to say, you can't get away from the cops. But I was locked on to making
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money any way possible. And obviously, karma really kicks you in the nuts when you're trying
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to make money illegally. And that's what happened in that case. So I knew I had this ability to lock
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on and I had this creative mind where you show me a problem, I can come up with a solution. The
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solution may not always be legal, but I can come up with a solution. So I said, all right, I don't want
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karma to kick my ass anymore. So maybe the solutions to the problems that I face have to be legal, have to
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be ethical, have to be value adding. And so I decided, you know, and by the way, the police helicopter
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chase wasn't the only thing. After that, I got beat up by 14 gang members because I ended up
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beating the shit out of one guy who I didn't know was in a gang earlier in that day. He followed me
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back to where I was. And later that night, 14 of them showed up and literally beat the crap out of
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me. I ended up in a hospital bed. So I realized very quickly that you could only get away doing
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illegal and shady and criminal activity for so long before a group of guys beat you up or the cops come
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and get you. And so I had to lock on to something more positive. And so again, I went back to,
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all right, what do I love? Well, fitness. The whole time I was still fit and strong, which I guess when
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you're fit and strong and you're beating the shit out of people, it works in your favor until they're
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in a group and kick your ass. But I realized, what do I love? Fitness. I'm going to be a trainer.
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And so I wanted to help more people. And I got satisfaction out of that. And one thing leads to
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another and off you go. What was your question? Where'd I go off on this? I started ranting on this,
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but no, it's good. I just wanted to know the difference between taking the ability to lock
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on and maybe even obsession to a degree and using that and harnessing it for good, bro. I am fully
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obsessed. The best entrepreneurs are fully obsessed, fully locked on. They go to the deepest, darkest
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parts of their mind, of their soul to make their business work. And I don't care what people say
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that, you know, well, we should all try and save the planet and hug each other and kumbaya. That's all
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great. And that's all bullshit as well, because the best entrepreneurs bleed. They suffer. Their
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family suffer. My family has suffered. I've had ulcers. I've literally bled in the toilet.
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And I would do it all over again because, listen, I'm going to lock on to something destructive
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anyway. That's just who I am. But I do know that if I lock on to something that's going to be
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amazing, like building this fitness franchise that now helps hundreds of millions of people worldwide.
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And if in the process, if I bleed a little bit, my family suffers a little bit, I'm okay with that.
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And anyone who wants to be massively successful has to be okay with locking on,
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getting obsessed, going to the dark side, the darkest, darkest places in your mind,
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getting that chip on your shoulder and telling everybody to fuck off. Everyone who's ever told
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you or implied that you can't do it, or you got a stupid idea, like this success is for them to
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choke on. I love it. So one of the things that you talk a lot about is the immigrant edge. I've
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heard you talk about that quite a bit. I'm really curious as to what that is, because I think from
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the perspective of being born and raised in America, and we take so much for granted and haven't seen
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anything outside of it and don't have this perspective, what is this like for you having
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somewhat of a different background? Oh, dude, I'm telling you, if anyone who's born here could
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somehow go live in a third world country for six months to a year, without the money they have,
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like just go there broke and be broke. And you'll see how easily you can start getting resourceful.
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Right now, I'll give you a great example. So we came to this country in 1980, I was six years old.
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And 1982, when I was eight years old, in one of the 14 different apartments we lived in those two
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years, they were all slums. And we were in the city of Anaheim, Santa Ana, that area. I got lice.
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I got lice so bad as a kid, that my mom and dad couldn't afford lice treatment, because we were
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that broke. We were eating out of dumpsters in the back of grocery stores. My mom made my dad
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siphon out gasoline from a parked car. And then she used that cup and a half of gasoline to wash my hair
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and kill the lice. So people go, you know, I don't have the resources for that knowledge,
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or I don't have the resources to build that website. Well, get resourceful. If my mom can
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make my dad siphon out gasoline and find a free solution to kill the lice in her kid's head,
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you can certainly find the resources. So I'll give you another example. The immigrant edge makes you
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get resourceful when you don't have resources. It makes you look at adversity as a massive advantage.
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For example, we know we go to the gym and we work out to build our muscles. The more weights
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you lift over time, the stronger your muscles get. And so the more weights you lift. Well, that's
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great. That's adversity against your muscles. But why the fuck do we then chicken out when we have
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adversity against our mental muscles or our entrepreneurial muscles, when you have a little
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failure or competition or economy crashes? So when the economy crashed in 2008, I go, holy smokes,
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what a great opportunity. Everyone is contracting and holding onto their purse strings and no one's
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spending money on Facebook. This is when I'm going to launch my franchise because I can buy leads for
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pennies on the dollar. And so I literally remember in 2009 filming pitch videos for Fit Body Bootcamp,
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our franchise, and the videographer stopping at some point and going, hey, can I ask you a question?
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I appreciate the job you've given me, but dude, there's like an 11.5% unemployment rate in the
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country right now and you're trying to sell a $10,000 franchise. Who's going to buy it? And I was like,
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dude, Facebook ads just got cheaper because everyone's contracting. I'm going to find where
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the money went and I'm going to find how to extract that money in exchange for a franchise.
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And he goes, all right, carry on. And he's the guy, his name is Rob. And he goes, you know what you
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have? You've got this immigrant edge. So that's not even a term that I came up with. That videographer
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came up with it when he goes, holy smokes, like everyone's contracting, you're trying to expand.
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And it's because again, I use adversity as an advantage. So when the economy fails, to me,
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that's just more muscle growth. When competition gets steep, there's just more people to crush
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and more ways that can make my business better to stand out. I don't ever look at adversity
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or not having resources as a reason to get into the fetal position and die.
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I think everybody kind of knows, at least to some degree, how to build physical muscle,
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but how do you develop and build this mental muscle? That is one of the questions I get a lot.
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How do you build up mental toughness, fortitude, resiliency? What are some tactics that we can do to
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employ there? Good question. And it's repetition. And then it's doing it on the smaller thing. So
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of all the things you listed off, maybe you ought to also throw in there's decisiveness. As an
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entrepreneur, you have to be decisive. And people go, all right, Bader, so you talk about being
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decisive. You talk about making decisions and not being fearful of making decisions. Because I always
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say, if you don't make a decision, circumstances will make the decision for you. And it's often not in
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your best interest. And in fact, General Colin Powell once said that Americans lose more money
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by being indecisive than making the wrong decision. Because as soon as you make the wrong decision,
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and you find out it was the wrong decision, you can course correct. And so to me, decisiveness is
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a great example. As an entrepreneur, you have to make decisions. But most of the time, you're not
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ever going to have all the information you need to make the right decision every single time.
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But what you can do is you can make the decision. So how do we become decisive and not afraid to make
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big decisions? It starts with the small stuff. So Ryan, if you and I are going to go out tonight for
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dinner, and we're like, all right, bro, so do we use Lyft or Uber? Fuck, someone make a decision.
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Pick one, right? Do we want sushi or do we want steak? So it's going to be, hey, Ryan, listen,
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man, I'm going to pick you up in an Uber at seven o'clock. We're going to go at steak. And then
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afterwards, we're going to go to a bookstore and just hang out and have some coffee and shoot the
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shit. All right, bro. Now, if you have an issue with that, you'll go, hey, B, I like the idea of
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everything you said, except let's not do Uber. Let's do Lyft. Great. Let's do it. But you have to make
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the small decisions quickly in your life. What time am I going to work out? Just don't say in the
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morning, pick a fucking time in the morning, and then go. What shirt am I going to wear? Don't
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hem and haw in front of your closet. Grab a goddamn shirt, put it on, and go work out. Go dominate your
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day. When you make the small decisions fast, your brain doesn't know the difference when a big
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decision comes. It just knows that when a question comes up, he answers. When the answer is right or
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wrong, it doesn't matter. Because if it's right, keep going. If it's wrong, course correct. But you have
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to train your body to make the small decisions first and make them fast so that when the big decisions
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come, it feels just as simple. And this works on resiliency. This works on every other thing.
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This ties in perfectly to what you talk about, which is taking imperfect actions. How do you
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overcome the paralysis, if you will, that some people face when it comes to taking action,
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knowing that it's just not going to be right and that's okay?
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Good question. So the reason most people start hesitating when it's time to take action,
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and you can just replace the word hesitation with start getting anxiety, is because anxiety or
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hesitation or fear is just anticipation of future pain. That's all. Anxiety, hesitation,
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fear is anticipation of future pain. So they go, you know what? I'm going to wait for things to be
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perfect. I want to have all the perfect information. I want the economy to be perfect. I want to make
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sure I have the perfect laptop before I launch this business. I want to have the perfect employees
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around me. I want to make sure they have the perfect ebook cover. Fucking stop it. There's no such
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thing as perfect. We have to take imperfect action and then course correct as we go. If you said that
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I'm going to go to grandmama's house and it's an eight mile drive and I'm going to hold the steering
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wheel perfectly straight, you'll end up crashing into a tree or a car or something because the road
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curves and moves and there's bumps and stuff. And every second you're making hundreds of tiny little
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movements, corrections on that steering wheel. So driving is imperfect. Breathing is imperfect.
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When you woke up today, your day is imperfect. How do you expect everything else to be perfect?
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And so most people cop out because they believe that I have to wait for perfection.
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When in reality, what they're saying is I have a fear or I have anxiety about taking this action.
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And I'm here to remind them that fear and anxiety is just anticipation of future pain.
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And I'm here to tell you that the future pain that you're anticipating is all in your mind
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because we always make up the worst case scenario. When in reality, it's never as bad as you think,
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even if the worst case scenario happens. How do you know once you've made a decision
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when it's time to make a course correction? Oh, you know, it's time to make a course correction
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when things aren't working out the way they're supposed to. Now, unfortunately, most people think
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that things are supposed to work out perfectly right out the gate. Like I'm a 15 year overnight
00:19:20.520
success. When I was bleeding, you didn't know of me. When I was eating one small meal a day and was
00:19:25.620
unable to digest. And so I was throwing it up. You didn't know of me, Ryan. I would literally walk
00:19:29.960
from my apartment to my car in the carport. And I had to like a fucking vampire walk through the
00:19:35.320
shadows because when the sun would just touch my skin, my skin would burn this physical tingling burn.
00:19:39.620
I would have essential tremors where I would lock up and just tip over and freeze for like a minute
00:19:44.800
or two. And my wife wouldn't have no idea what's going on. She just, you know, dogpiled on me with
00:19:48.120
blankets. I would have anxiety attacks so bad that I was having to go to the hospital. But nobody was
00:19:53.240
around when all that was happening. Now they're seeing the big franchise. Now they're seeing the
00:19:56.660
coaching clients. Now they're seeing all the thought leaders that I coach and consult. So you have to
00:20:01.100
give it a decade, a decade and a half to succeed. Now, when do you know it's time to course correct?
00:20:05.560
Sometimes you might know early on a year in six months in, but I say, ask a mentor. Like when
00:20:12.340
you're in the trees, you don't have the outside eyes. You're just seeing the trees. You don't
00:20:15.960
realize you're in a fucking forest. And so most people need to go, Hey mentor, I've been doing
00:20:20.040
this for six months. I'm not seeing any money. I'm already $50,000 in. Should I keep going?
00:20:24.900
Cause you're successful. And I figured you would know the answer. Or should I stop? The mentor might go,
00:20:29.800
Oh, you know what? You're almost on the right track. Just pivot 90 degrees this way and keep going.
00:20:34.200
Or they might say, that's an absolutely stupid idea. I can't believe you started it.
00:20:37.540
I'm glad you asked me now. Let's course correct completely and move on. But in the beginning,
00:20:42.580
you have to have mentors around you, people that you trust, people who have been there
00:20:46.220
already where you want to go. And if you don't have those mentors, then you have to,
00:20:50.580
man, you have to have a strong gut. But for me, I was fortunate enough to write mentors. I was a
00:20:54.720
personal trainer. I had clients. These clients were financially successful. And I would ask them
00:20:59.660
because I couldn't afford a mentor, a coach, someone to guide me along. But I would say,
00:21:04.100
Hey, look, this is what I'm trying to do. I'm trying to start a personal training studio.
00:21:07.040
Am I on the right track? Is this what you would do? And they would say, no, try it this way. And I
00:21:11.420
would. You bring up a really good point when you talk about mentors, because one of the questions I
00:21:15.520
get asked all the time is how to find mentors. But you just, you alluded to it right there is find
00:21:19.980
somebody who's succeeding at the level that you want to succeed at and ask them a handful of
00:21:24.000
questions. It's really that simple. That's it. And people go, well, but what if I can't pay
00:21:28.080
them, add some other value to their lives? I was a personal trainer. I was training this guy named
00:21:32.200
Jim Franco three times a week. As soon as I realized that he was a millionaire and he had
00:21:36.120
good business sense and I wanted his business sense, I said, Jim, can I train you four days a
00:21:40.760
week? The fourth day will be on me. And in exchange, if you can hang out for a half hour
00:21:45.420
and just give me some guidance on my ideas. He goes, sure, kid. And off we went. So you don't
00:21:50.000
always have to find a mentor, pay him. There's people all around you who are willing. Because let me
00:21:54.520
tell you, everyone who's been successful knows the darkness, the loneliness, the suffering in
00:22:00.020
silence, how painful it is. And we are willing to help others. You just have to ask.
00:22:06.340
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insurance. What does brotherhood even mean? Quite honestly, this is a word that I toss around quite
00:23:33.300
a bit when I talk about our exclusive brotherhood, the iron council, but I don't really talk a whole
00:23:37.860
lot about what that even means to me. A brotherhood is a group of men banded together towards a common
00:23:43.440
purpose. In this case of the iron council, it's about becoming a better man in every facet of our
00:23:48.740
lives. So when you join with a brotherhood, whether it's the iron council or something else,
00:23:52.820
the men that you're surrounded with should have an extreme desire to help themselves and to help you
00:23:59.060
succeed. And since that's the objective, you essentially give your permission for these men
00:24:03.940
to do and say the things that need to be done and said to help you achieve your objectives. This isn't a
00:24:09.300
place to feel warm and cozy and get pats on the back and reaffirm how good you're doing.
00:24:13.440
These are real conversations that need to be had in order to drive you to do some things that
00:24:18.740
you've never done. So if that sounds like something you need and something you're interested in,
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join us inside the iron council at order of man.com slash iron council. Again,
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order of man.com slash iron council. It's not always easy, not always comfortable,
00:24:32.820
but if you really want to accomplish big things, I can know a lot of you do.
00:24:36.560
You're not really looking for the comfortable and easy path. Anyways, again,
00:24:43.440
I want to go back to the health challenges that you were dealing with. What did that stem from? And
00:24:48.620
I'm assuming you're not dealing with those problems anymore. Help me understand how you
00:24:53.040
overcame some of that stuff. Yeah. So the problems really started setting in around 2011, 2012,
00:24:58.660
and they got really bad in 2013. I wanted to be rushed to the doctor's office because I thought I
00:25:03.040
had a massive heart attack and I was so ignorant that I thought I actually survived a heart attack,
00:25:07.100
Brian. When in reality, it was a massive anxiety attack that was so crippling. My throat was closing up.
00:25:12.860
I had tunnel vision. My arms were tingling. I couldn't even stand straight. So I had to like
00:25:16.680
sit down on the ground and all of a sudden it's just kind of washed away. And in my head, I go,
00:25:21.460
huh, look at that. I just fought off a heart attack and went about my business. That night I told my
00:25:26.260
wife and she goes, dude, we got to take you to the doctor. The next day I went to the doctor.
00:25:29.920
And of course they put you through the stress test, EKG and all that. Turns out it was the first of many
00:25:34.300
massive anxiety attacks that would keep me awake at night. And then when I started to will away the
00:25:39.240
anxiety attacks, all of a sudden I'm faced with essential tremors. And so my body locks up at the
00:25:45.140
end of a long day of work because my central nervous system wants me to stop, but I'm not stopping.
00:25:50.500
And all of that was stemming from, by the way, because I was a poorly disciplined, ineffective
00:25:55.600
leader. By that point, I had about five or six people working for me. Like most entrepreneurs,
00:26:00.960
I started off as a solopreneur and I knew that I have work ethic that I could count on myself and that
00:26:06.000
I can get shit done. But you have then a second employee, third employee, fourth, fifth, sixth,
00:26:10.420
you have different personalities. And I didn't know how to manage people because I still wasn't
00:26:15.160
confident in myself. I still didn't have the self-esteem and self-image that I wanted to have
00:26:19.740
or needed to have. Ryan, when a employee showed up late, instead of correcting them or having a talk
00:26:26.240
with them or writing them up like a entrepreneur should do, I would simply have this passive aggressive
00:26:31.580
adversary relationship with them. I'd start resenting them. And then when I had a business
00:26:36.300
partner who I wasn't necessarily excited to have because I would work as though I owned 100% of the
00:26:41.900
business, he would work as though he owned 10% of the business, even though we were 50, 50 partners,
00:26:46.340
instead of talking with him and saying, Hey man, you know, we got to be equally yoked here. Again,
00:26:51.360
I started building resentment and had this adversary relationship. And I know where it's from.
00:26:55.480
A lot of it is from because I don't want to hurt people's feelings. I was approval seeking.
00:26:59.520
I cared what people thought so much that I sacrificed my health, my relationship, even
00:27:05.340
my finances. Because in early 2014, I almost went bankrupt and folded Fit Body Bootcamp on
00:27:12.460
what was supposed to be this global franchise now should not exist had I not decided to man
00:27:17.440
up. And it was in 2014 that I finally decided, you know what, it's time to man up and become
00:27:22.080
an effective leader and to have the talks and communications and be decisive and wake up
00:27:26.680
early and actually start focusing on my fitness again. Everything that I had done when I was
00:27:31.540
younger to stay fit, I let go of and slowly things started to erode and you all of a sudden
00:27:37.600
feel like an imposter and you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings or you don't want to
00:27:41.860
have this awkward conversation or what if they quit? I mean, I was having these thoughts in
00:27:46.600
my head that what if a mediocre employee quits? What am I going to do now? Like that's how awful
00:27:52.200
my business was. And when I chose to become an effective leader and first to control of myself,
00:27:57.060
my headspace, my health, my fitness, my body, and started saying no to many opportunities so I can
00:28:02.660
say yes to the one opportunity, my franchise, I then started holding my employees to a higher
00:28:07.840
expectation. Ironically, more than half of them either quit or got fired within 90 days,
00:28:12.360
but I was now able to replace them with what I call fighter jets. I went from crop dusters to fighter jets
00:28:18.000
because I had higher self-esteem, I had higher expectations, and I was able to hire people
00:28:23.260
who fit that bill. I imagine that doesn't happen overnight. Someone doesn't go from
00:28:28.540
seeking approval of others and wanting to please everybody to now this assertive dominant type
00:28:34.280
leader, crop duster to fighter, for example. What does that actually look like? What are some of the
00:28:39.860
strategies and the things that you implemented first in order to adopt this new mindset?
00:28:44.280
Yeah, I'll tell you, you're absolutely right. It's not an overnight thing. It's not a light switch.
00:28:47.620
I wish it was a light switch where I can go, man up, dude, and then bam, the light switch goes off,
00:28:51.820
and you're a perfect leader. You're decisive. You know how to communicate. You've got clarity of
00:28:55.440
vision, and you only hire A-level players, and as soon as they're one degree off, you course correct
00:29:00.220
them. I just described to you what a high-performance leader is like. That was not me. Like I said,
00:29:05.420
in 2011, 12, 13, things got really bad, and it was a three-and-a-half-year, four-year journey for me to
00:29:12.240
become an effective leader, and I'm still a work in progress. I still don't think I'm the leader that I'm
00:29:16.340
going to be because if I was, I'd be doing $100 million a year now and not $20 million, right?
00:29:20.560
So I know my company has the potential to do $100 million a year, so I'm still not that leader.
00:29:24.560
I still don't have that team. I still don't have that vision clear, but I'm as clear as I've ever
00:29:29.140
been, and so what effective leadership looks like, it starts with you first. It's about leading from
00:29:34.820
the front, and I remember going, all right, I'm going to start manning up and start firing people or
00:29:39.220
having more expectations of them, but I was still showing up late to work because I didn't want to come
00:29:43.840
them to my office. I didn't want to talk to my business partner. I had anxiety talking to them,
00:29:48.680
so I said, wait a minute. They see me as an imposter right now because I'm asking them to show up early
00:29:53.100
or at least on time and to do the work, yet I'm behind on schedule. I'm missing out on meetings,
00:29:58.460
and so it starts with you first. Lead from the front and then set high expectations for them.
00:30:03.680
Become decisive. Stop hitting the snooze button. Start working out. Start eating right,
00:30:08.260
and then expect that of them, and get clear on your vision. My employees didn't know if I wanted
00:30:13.360
100 Fit Body Bootcamp locations worldwide or 2,500 locations, and they didn't know when I wanted it
00:30:18.600
by. Today, we've got a mission statement that everybody jives by. We've got all 46 people in
00:30:23.260
our building here who have an amazing culture, great morale, and it's because we're clear on our
00:30:27.500
vision. We're clear on our path. We're a team and not employees anymore. When I refer to now,
00:30:32.740
I say team. Back then, it was employees because employees clock in a little late,
00:30:38.560
clock out a little early, do the bare minimum to maintain employment. A team member, a high
00:30:43.560
performance team is a group of individuals who have a common goal, and they want to win at that
00:30:48.840
goal. They want to win, and I just happen to be the team leader, but it all was not a light switch,
00:30:53.680
man. It was like a dimmer switch, and sometimes that switch goes down, and you go, oh, oh, oh,
00:30:56.720
bring it back up, bring it back up, because every time you deal with adversity, you go,
00:31:00.800
I don't want to have this conversation. I don't want to have to have this negative
00:31:03.680
conversation with my business partner, but I said, it's time to man up, dude, and I would
00:31:07.180
have the conversation. One, it's time to man up after another. I ended up here, and I still have
00:31:13.420
a long way to go. Yes, we do. We all do, right? Well, you're talking about mindset. I'm really
00:31:17.160
curious about your distinction between being broke versus poor, because this is something that I've
00:31:22.060
seen you make, this distinction I've seen you make in the past, and I think it has to do with
00:31:25.200
mindset. Walk me through the distinction between those two terms. Yet another immigrant edge
00:31:29.280
mentality. When I came to this country, we were broke and poor. Broke to me is you're out of
00:31:34.820
money. Poor is a state of mind. You feel that money is not attracted to you. Poor means that
00:31:40.680
others have money, and you don't. Poor means that you don't believe in abundance. You believe in
00:31:45.140
scarcity, right? So Donald Trump has been broke many times, but he's never had a poor mindset. He's
00:31:52.480
been broke, and I tell my wife now, I'm like, hey, listen, I might make a bad decision with the
00:31:56.100
franchise, and we might end up going broke. But I'll tell you this, I'll never be poor, because
00:32:00.060
I will be broke for a small amount of time, and then I will find a solution to a problem that
00:32:05.040
society is having, and I will start charging for that solution. I will make money again. I'll get
00:32:09.800
us right side up again. So being broke is, you might have made a bad decision, and you're out of
00:32:14.960
money right now. Being poor is a state of mind. I doubt myself. I don't believe I'm worthy of success,
00:32:20.880
of money. I don't believe that I have a good relationship with money. I don't believe that I deserve
00:32:24.520
money. People got to break out of this poor mentality, man, because it's fucking choking
00:32:28.860
people out. I listened to a podcast interview that you did, and you were talking about the book that
00:32:34.260
I know you have coming up later in 2018, which we'll probably address at that point. And you
00:32:38.940
talked about you want to use this as a tool to make the most amount of money that you possibly can.
00:32:44.320
And I was really intrigued by that statement, because although I believe that statement to be true,
00:32:48.360
it's something that's a little bit counterintuitive and not common thinking. And I think there's a lot of
00:32:53.040
people who are probably listening to this that have a problem reconciling, adding value and being
00:32:58.160
valuable and making money doing it. Can you help me sync the two up?
00:33:03.560
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. So my goal is to make the book a New York Times bestseller. My goal is to use
00:33:07.780
the book to get up on stage and speak to hundreds of thousands of people so I can get coaching clients
00:33:13.500
who are paying me $50,000 to $100,000 to come on board and then 10% to 20% of equity in their
00:33:18.100
business. I want to control so many businesses out there. And I want to make so much obscene amount
00:33:23.260
of money because I realize now money is only a vehicle to freedom and impact nothing else money
00:33:29.120
is bad when I go get a hooker and put cocaine on her tits and snort it. That's when money is bad.
00:33:33.900
But money is great when I want to help people. And when I want to take care of my family,
00:33:38.060
and when I want to be free. And listen, I use money to buy back my time. I use money to help
00:33:43.760
Shriners Children's Hospital. They have 22 hospitals right behind my computer. In fact,
00:33:47.880
right now, I'm pointing this way because I got a Facebook Live running. I got six awards
00:33:51.740
from Shriners Children's Hospital sitting on the shelf. It's not because of my good looks. It's
00:33:55.700
because of all the obscene amount of money I've gave them to build up the hospitals for kids who
00:33:59.500
couldn't afford medical treatments. Because when I came to this country, I couldn't afford medical
00:34:02.780
treatments. We've got 52 kids adopted through Compassion International. My goal is to have 5,000 kids
00:34:08.040
adopted through Compassion International. Those kids aren't free. They cost me money. Right now,
00:34:12.300
actually, this Saturday, we're locking down the Target in Chino Hills. And we're going to spend
00:34:16.600
over $200,000 of our money to buy toys for Toys for Tots. So the kids who otherwise would not have
00:34:22.680
any toys to open on Christmas morning can have toys to open that costs money. When I fly first class with
00:34:28.200
my family, sometimes I want to buy out the entire first class because I just do. And there's nothing
00:34:33.120
wrong with that. And I've been broke. I've been poor. I've eaten out of dumpsters. I've had my hair
00:34:38.820
washed with gasoline. I've lived in slums. I've had my house broken into. I don't like that lifestyle.
00:34:43.540
I doubted where my next paycheck was going to come from. I've seen how lack of money creates
00:34:48.140
static and negative energy between family members. And I don't want that for me. And so I want to make
00:34:53.880
an obscene amount of money, but in exchange for a massive value that I plan on adding to the world.
00:35:01.400
I've heard you talk a lot about the American dream. And I really am interested in your perspective
00:35:06.000
of what that is and how you've created that for yourself.
00:35:08.960
Yeah, man. Oh, the American dream. Listen, people think that the American dream is dead. And in fact,
00:35:13.440
I read a study, Ryan, just last year, 2016. And it said that 74% of Americans believe that the
00:35:20.840
American dream is dead. And then the article went on to define the American dream. You go to college,
00:35:25.540
you get your degree, either a four-year or an MBA, you get into this business, you stay there for 25,
00:35:31.220
35 years, and you come out of there with a pension and a retirement fund and a gold Rolex.
00:35:37.280
Fucking A, that's not the American dream. The American dream is now available to more of us
00:35:42.500
easily. The barrier to the American dream is lower. Here's why. If anybody listening to this
00:35:48.220
has a solution to a problem and they want to sell it to the masses in the world, they no longer have
00:35:54.700
to go to ABC, NBC, cable network channels to buy airtime. They could literally start creating how-to
00:36:01.320
videos on YouTube and Facebook and Instagram. And through these how-to videos can start building
00:36:06.980
a tribe of prospects. And then they can go to PayPal and create a free shopping cart. Then they can go to
00:36:13.740
WordPress and create a free website. And then they can convert a Word doc into a PDF or a series of
00:36:19.860
videos using their iPhone. I mean, you literally have an info product or a coaching business,
00:36:25.280
or you can link up with someone through GoFundMe and raise the capital to create a product or a
00:36:31.480
service that the world needs. The barrier to entry to the American dream has never been lower than
00:36:36.300
today. It is not retiring from a company after 30 fucking years of service, only to have that company
00:36:41.540
say, sorry, we're not going to give you the pension plan and the retirement fund that we thought we
00:36:45.140
could because we underestimated what the future holds. The American dream is you taking control
00:36:50.060
of your own life, of your own destiny, and doing something with it, building a massive amount of
00:36:55.420
wealth. Because at the end of the day, I got to take care of my kids. I got to take care of the
00:37:00.560
charities that I see value in. I got to make sure that my parents and my wife's parents are buried.
00:37:05.960
We don't want to think that they might end up in the sick home or in the hospital. But what if they do?
00:37:10.480
Oh, well, I didn't account for that. So I didn't make that kind of money. Fucking A,
00:37:13.340
go make that kind of money. So God forbid your parents or her parents end up in a hospital or
00:37:18.560
an early grave, you can take care of that. There's nothing more empowering than being able to solve
00:37:23.860
problems with money. Yeah. Powerful stuff. I'm fired up. Just listening to you. I'm fired up.
00:37:28.740
Bedros, we're running up against time. I want to ask you as we wind down. Well, first of all,
00:37:32.460
is there anything that I should have asked you that I didn't? Because you are a inspiring and
00:37:36.620
motivational guy. I want to make sure we get the most of this. No, man. I think you asked me
00:37:40.380
everything that's worth asking. Good. Well, the next question is,
00:37:43.340
what does it mean to be a man? Oh, dude, what means to be a man is to be able to pay it forward
00:37:48.120
to your kids, especially men who have little boys as sons. Holy cow. I can tell you this,
00:37:54.100
dude, and I don't talk about this a lot. But as a young boy, between the ages of four and six,
00:37:58.160
I was molested by two older boys repetitively in Armenia. Thank God we escaped that fucking communist
00:38:03.100
country. And I grew up with a chip on my shoulder with rage, with anger, with shame. And as a man,
00:38:09.560
we have a responsibility to our kids, bro. The money's all great. And I'm going to teach my kids
00:38:14.800
to make lots of money and to help people with their money because money can multiply help. You
00:38:19.180
can go and make one sandwich at a time at a soup kitchen. I can have boatloads of sandwiches show
00:38:23.900
up at a soup kitchen with money. And that's how we help with money. But as a man, if you can raise
00:38:29.580
good kids who are strong, who have a voice, who know how to say no, who can go and tell an adult,
00:38:35.360
man, I've raised my kids now. One is 10 years old. One is 12 years old as modern day nights.
00:38:41.400
And I think as a man, we have that responsibility to do that. That might sound a little old fashioned
00:38:45.520
to some people and that's okay. Fuck them. But that's the responsibility that I have more than
00:38:49.920
making money is to raise decent human beings that are going to help this fucking planet and be strong
00:38:55.260
and have a voice and have confidence. Everything that I didn't have.
00:38:58.680
That's powerful stuff. Well, how do we connect with you and learn more about what you're doing?
00:39:02.580
Easiest, fastest way to connect with me is on social media, you know, Instagram, Facebook,
00:39:06.840
or just to go to my website, manup.com. Right on. We'll make sure we link that all up.
00:39:12.100
Bajor, so I got to tell you, I appreciate the intensity. It's always fun to have a conversation
00:39:15.740
with somebody as fired up as you are. And that's infectious, quite honestly. And I know you've been
00:39:20.200
a big help in my business as I've expanded and pursued the American dream for myself. So I want
00:39:24.800
to tell you, I appreciate you and the way you show up. Thanks, man. I really appreciate you and the
00:39:28.580
opportunity here, Ryan. Gentlemen, there it is. Mr. Bedros Koulian. Again,
00:39:33.600
I hope you learned so much from this episode. I know that I certainly did. I was taking notes
00:39:38.180
throughout the episode. I know a lot of this stuff I'm going to apply in my personal life,
00:39:42.580
and I hope you do the same. If you would, if you enjoyed this show, what I would encourage you to do
00:39:46.940
is to reach out to me, reach out to Bedros on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter, wherever you are.
00:39:52.560
Let us know what your biggest takeaway from the show was. I enjoy reading that stuff. I enjoy seeing
00:39:57.620
how you guys are applying what is being learned. So you can hit us up on any of the social media
00:40:02.400
channels that you happen to be on. And if you want the links for this show, any of the information
00:40:07.600
that we talked about, you can head to order of man.com slash one four four. Now, in the meantime,
00:40:12.860
guys, I gave you a couple of announcements earlier in the show. We've got the live meetup January 26th
00:40:17.980
and 27th in Nashville, 2018. You can get registered at order of man.com slash Nashville. Make sure you do
00:40:25.260
that. That's going to be a book launch party slash camaraderie brotherhood breakout sessions.
00:40:30.200
So much information going on there to help you really launch your 2018 with a bang. Other than
00:40:35.840
that, you can join our Facebook group at facebook.com slash groups slash order of man and our
00:40:40.700
exclusive brotherhood for those select few who are always looking to level up and really do the
00:40:46.060
things that need to be done and have the conversations that need to be had in order to
00:40:49.560
excel on new levels. You can do that at order of man.com slash iron council. I will look forward
00:40:55.500
to talking with you on Friday for our Friday field notes, but until then take action and become the
00:41:00.040
man you are meant to be. Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast. You're ready to take
00:41:05.980
charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the order