Order of Man - 146： A Life of Adventure ｜ Laval St. Germain

00:00:00.000 I want you to take a serious, truthful look at your life.

00:00:03.040 When is the last time that you went on an adventure?

00:00:05.620 And I'm not talking about a date with your wife 0.63

00:00:07.320 or trying a new restaurant

00:00:08.980 or you happen to take a new way to work.

00:00:10.680 I'm talking about a real adventure,

00:00:12.540 one that scared you, one that pushed you,

00:00:14.680 and frankly, one that made you feel alive.

00:00:16.680 Today, I'm joined by adventure enthusiast,

00:00:18.560 Laval St. Germain, to talk about why it's critical we,

00:00:21.640 as he would say, step out and shove off.

00:00:24.460 Today, we cover establishing new perspectives

00:00:26.540 for life's challenges,

00:00:27.620 why most men are content with living vicariously through others,

00:00:31.940 the danger of cognitive distortions,

00:00:33.980 and how to live a life of adventure.

00:00:36.020 You're a man of action.

00:00:37.540 You live life to the fullest.

00:00:39.000 Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.

00:00:41.920 When life knocks you down,

00:00:43.300 you get back up one more time, every time.

00:00:46.360 You are not easily deterred, defeated,

00:00:48.700 rugged, resilient, strong.

00:00:51.420 This is your life.

00:00:52.540 This is who you are.

00:00:53.760 This is who you will become.

00:00:55.760 At the end of the day,

00:00:56.560 and after all is said and done,

00:00:58.720 you can call yourself a man.

00:01:01.020 Men, what is going on today?

00:01:02.200 My name is Ryan Michler,

00:01:03.540 and I am the host and the founder of this podcast,

00:01:05.560 The Order of Man.

00:01:06.820 First podcast of 2018.

00:01:09.000 I am stoked that you've decided to join with us today.

00:01:11.820 I really can't think of a better way

00:01:13.420 to start the new year off than tuning into this show.

00:01:15.980 And then, of course,

00:01:17.120 this is important, implementing.

00:01:18.540 Actually implementing what it is me and my guests

00:01:20.440 are sharing each and every week.

00:01:22.140 Now, I've been so inspired by the messages

00:01:24.000 and the letters and the emails that I get from you,

00:01:26.960 and I'm honored to be on this journey together.

00:01:29.320 Guys, a couple of quick announcements,

00:01:30.760 as I normally do before we get into the meat of the show.

00:01:33.060 We are getting close to our meetup in Nashville

00:01:35.080 later this month, January 26th and 27th, 2018.

00:01:39.640 Again, in Nashville,

00:01:40.560 we're going to have the brotherhood

00:01:41.700 and the camaraderie and the breakout sessions

00:01:43.560 and the events and the team leadership

00:01:46.000 and team development stuff

00:01:47.220 that we're doing.

00:01:47.740 So much amazing stuff going on

00:01:50.440 at the event again in Nashville.

00:01:52.740 And, of course, we are coordinating that

00:01:54.820 with the book launch party.

00:01:55.980 So when you join with us, you get registered.

00:01:58.400 You are going to also get a copy,

00:02:00.540 a signed copy of the new book

00:02:01.940 that's going to be released February 1st,

00:02:04.480 which is titled Sovereignty,

00:02:06.100 The Battle for the Hearts and Minds of Men.

00:02:07.680 I'm so excited to get this book into your hands.

00:02:10.140 It's been a big, challenging undertaking for me,

00:02:13.400 and I'm finally, finally going to be able to release this.

00:02:16.260 I can't tell you how exciting that is.

00:02:18.620 So I hope to see you there.

00:02:19.640 Orderofmen.com slash Nashville to get registered.

00:02:22.740 Outside of that, you can join in the conversation

00:02:24.860 we're having on Facebook,

00:02:26.240 facebook.com slash groups slash orderofmen.

00:02:28.980 And third, our exclusive brotherhood,

00:02:31.340 The Iron Council.

00:02:32.300 I want to bring this up really quickly

00:02:33.840 because what's going to happen

00:02:35.200 is for those of you who are in The Iron Council.

00:02:38.000 So if you're already in The Iron Council

00:02:39.380 or you're on the fence,

00:02:40.680 now is the time to join

00:02:41.700 because anybody who's in The Iron Council

00:02:43.720 also gets a free, this is all on me,

00:02:46.700 a free option to attend another half day

00:02:50.180 at the meetup that we're doing in Nashville.

00:02:52.440 And it's going to be with me.

00:02:53.820 It's probably going to be with 20 to 25

00:02:55.400 other Iron Council men.

00:02:56.920 This is a high caliber group of men

00:02:59.020 you are going to want to spend a half day with.

00:03:01.400 And again, that's going to be covered

00:03:02.580 if you are a member of The Iron Council.

00:03:04.820 You can get registered at orderofmen.com

00:03:06.980 slash Iron Council.

00:03:08.900 So that's all the announcements I have for you today.

00:03:11.040 I want to introduce you to my guest today.

00:03:13.280 Again, he's an explorer extraordinaire.

00:03:15.420 He's an adventurer.

00:03:16.320 His name is Laval St. Germain.

00:03:18.140 This man is so qualified to talk with us

00:03:20.520 about living a life of adventure.

00:03:22.280 His resume includes being the only Canadian

00:03:25.320 to climb Everest without supplemental oxygen,

00:03:28.580 climbing and skiing Iraq's highest peak,

00:03:30.920 the fastest ever crossing North Atlantic solo row,

00:03:33.980 climbing the highest peaks

00:03:34.960 on six of the seven continents,

00:03:36.760 among other amazing accomplishment.

00:03:39.180 He spent 53 days rowing across the Atlantic

00:03:41.800 that I mentioned earlier.

00:03:43.320 He's lost three fingers to frostbite.

00:03:45.440 He's a mountaineer, an endurance athlete.

00:03:48.180 He's a pilot.

00:03:48.880 What more can I say about this guy?

00:03:50.740 He's incredible and inspiring.

00:03:52.760 And in this episode shares one of the most

00:03:55.000 heart-wrenching stories about him

00:03:57.820 and one of his sons who unfortunately passed away.

00:04:02.400 But I love his perspective with that experience

00:04:05.120 and how he's taken that and become a better man for it.

00:04:08.580 Guys, I know you're going to walk away inspired

00:04:10.680 and ready to live your own life of adventure.

00:04:15.440 LaValle, what's going on, man?

00:04:16.520 Thanks for joining me on the show today.

00:04:18.060 Hey, thanks, Ryan.

00:04:18.720 Thanks for having me on.

00:04:19.780 Yeah, I apologize about yesterday.

00:04:21.560 We had, for those of you who are listening,

00:04:23.080 we had a little bit of a mishap.

00:04:24.340 I had a next door neighbor who decided that yesterday

00:04:26.720 during, right during the middle of our show

00:04:28.400 was a perfect time to chop down his mulberry tree.

00:04:30.840 So I think we're okay.

00:04:32.320 I think we're safe today.

00:04:34.000 It's like I said, it's the Murphy's Law.

00:04:35.980 Well, and I know you've probably dealt with this a lot

00:04:37.860 in your expeditions and everything that you've been on

00:04:40.360 is that if something's going to go wrong

00:04:41.980 or can go wrong, it will, right?

00:04:44.000 That's right.

00:04:44.500 You hope for the best,

00:04:45.480 but you plan and anticipate the worst, absolutely.

00:04:48.080 Well, we're going to get into this.

00:04:49.220 I know we're going to talk about adventure.

00:04:51.140 Before we do today,

00:04:53.480 I want to make sure that we understand

00:04:56.500 how important this is.

00:04:57.600 And I think this is so overlooked in today's society,

00:05:00.480 especially among men,

00:05:01.860 is this need and desire for adventure.

00:05:04.580 And yet you look around

00:05:05.780 and there seems to be so many men

00:05:07.400 who are incapable of

00:05:09.640 or have no desire to live this life of adventure.

00:05:13.060 Is that what you're finding

00:05:14.160 or do you see something different?

00:05:16.520 Yeah, I seem to see that a lot.

00:05:17.800 And I don't know if it's because

00:05:18.860 I've become more aware of it

00:05:19.980 or I'm getting older,

00:05:20.840 but it seems like our culture is both,

00:05:23.460 we'll call it North American culture.

00:05:24.840 So the US and Canadian cultures,

00:05:27.960 you know, and the UK, Australia,

00:05:29.520 New Zealand as well.

00:05:30.360 And maybe the rest of Western Europe

00:05:31.780 is rounded corners and nerf edges.

00:05:34.640 And I heard that quote on the radio

00:05:36.440 just the other day.

00:05:37.240 And it really describes it.

00:05:39.120 We're not expected to experience

00:05:41.160 any misfortune or any discomfort nowadays.

00:05:45.100 It seems like it's just something

00:05:46.360 that is not allowed.

00:05:48.300 I just saw an ad for,

00:05:49.600 I think it was a Lincoln the other day,

00:05:51.020 and you can order food

00:05:52.720 right from the sort of the command center

00:05:54.940 in the center of that,

00:05:56.040 I almost called it an airplane,

00:05:57.480 but in the center of that SUV.

00:05:59.380 And that's just so indicative,

00:06:01.440 I think, of where we've headed.

00:06:03.140 We're at the tipping point

00:06:04.580 where you go to and from work

00:06:07.660 or your activities in a vehicle

00:06:09.740 that weighs 5,000 pounds,

00:06:11.980 burns a ton of fuel,

00:06:13.420 and you can order your pizza

00:06:15.140 or your dinner to arrive at home

00:06:16.740 right from the command center

00:06:18.120 in the middle of the vehicle.

00:06:20.040 And I think that's sort of,

00:06:20.980 it doesn't bode well for us,

00:06:22.360 I think, as a culture

00:06:23.180 for relying that much on automation

00:06:25.540 and comfort all the time and convenience.

00:06:28.400 Yeah, I mean,

00:06:28.620 there's so many wonderful things

00:06:29.880 that come from technology.

00:06:31.000 I mean, you and I

00:06:31.980 wouldn't be having this conversation

00:06:33.240 if it weren't for some of the

00:06:34.600 modern luxuries and technology

00:06:36.800 that we enjoy,

00:06:37.720 but what do you see

00:06:38.500 being the damaging

00:06:39.840 or the side effects

00:06:41.200 of living this life of comfort

00:06:42.860 like you're talking about?

00:06:44.680 Well, too much of it.

00:06:45.560 There's a lot of wonderful things

00:06:46.700 that come from food as well,

00:06:48.540 and we need it to survive,

00:06:50.160 but that doesn't mean

00:06:50.920 that we can just overconsume

00:06:52.340 and make it the focus

00:06:53.780 of our entire life,

00:06:55.680 our entire day.

00:06:56.660 And one thing I really

00:06:57.900 am distressed by

00:06:59.280 is the amount of time

00:07:00.260 that people live behind glass

00:07:01.840 or, sorry, looking at glass.

00:07:03.540 I guess behind glass as well

00:07:04.860 in their vehicles

00:07:05.440 and in their homes,

00:07:06.160 but more specifically

00:07:07.040 looking at the glass

00:07:07.920 of their cell phones

00:07:09.040 and their iPads

00:07:09.860 and smartphones, etc.

00:07:11.860 Not really experiencing the world

00:07:13.240 because you can get

00:07:14.620 just about anything you want

00:07:16.360 that's not real

00:07:17.120 through your phone.

00:07:18.040 You can be looking

00:07:18.640 at an Instagram post

00:07:19.780 from Nepal.

00:07:20.580 You could be looking

00:07:21.120 at a Twitter video,

00:07:22.900 somebody's feed

00:07:23.660 who's climbing in Alaska.

00:07:24.960 You could be watching

00:07:26.280 a Facebook Live

00:07:27.240 of somebody repairing

00:07:28.340 their vehicle,

00:07:29.560 anything.

00:07:30.440 And it's just,

00:07:31.620 it seems to be a substitute

00:07:32.940 for going on

00:07:33.620 and really experiencing

00:07:34.460 the real world.

00:07:35.240 You know,

00:07:36.100 I don't know if you've ever

00:07:37.260 gotten into Stoicism,

00:07:38.600 but I really like

00:07:39.200 some of the stuff

00:07:39.920 that the Stoics say.

00:07:40.960 And one of the sort of

00:07:41.740 the all-encompassing sayings

00:07:44.380 or all-encompassing philosophies

00:07:45.880 of Stoicism

00:07:46.800 is practice misfortune.

00:07:48.440 And I interpret that

00:07:49.380 as practice being uncomfortable,

00:07:51.500 practice discomfort,

00:07:53.140 practice pain,

00:07:54.500 and that's the pain

00:07:55.280 of a good workout

00:07:55.880 the next day

00:07:56.520 or that's the pain

00:07:57.260 of cold fingers

00:07:58.440 when you're riding

00:07:58.900 your bike in the wintertime

00:07:59.920 or that's the pain

00:08:01.360 of walking to a restaurant

00:08:02.240 versus driving,

00:08:03.040 that type of thing.

00:08:03.640 And I think it's really important

00:08:04.620 that we do that.

00:08:05.760 And in a way,

00:08:06.760 I think it's especially important

00:08:07.920 for us as men

00:08:09.300 to do that.

00:08:10.700 So from my perspective,

00:08:11.740 when you practice

00:08:12.780 this misfortune

00:08:13.600 or the pain

00:08:14.080 like you're talking about,

00:08:15.000 it gives us a new perspective

00:08:16.400 in the way that we view life

00:08:18.060 and of course,

00:08:18.680 other hardships

00:08:19.260 that we're likely

00:08:19.880 to face throughout life.

00:08:21.160 But you don't get that

00:08:22.260 when you live vicariously

00:08:23.900 through the computer screen

00:08:25.860 or the social media channels

00:08:27.340 that we see.

00:08:28.200 And I think that's probably

00:08:29.180 the most damaging thing

00:08:30.380 is that you tend to be,

00:08:32.540 and I'm just speaking

00:08:33.740 generally here,

00:08:34.360 a weaker person

00:08:35.220 when you don't experience

00:08:36.540 these things

00:08:37.060 and trials and adversities

00:08:39.340 that have the potential

00:08:40.620 to derail you will

00:08:42.000 if you're not used

00:08:43.180 to hardship.

00:08:44.400 Yeah, and Ryan,

00:08:45.220 one of the books

00:08:46.200 that is capturing

00:08:46.960 that right now

00:08:47.560 that's sort of

00:08:48.140 in the zeitgeist

00:08:49.020 is Tribe

00:08:49.640 by Sebastian Younger.

00:08:50.700 And he talks about

00:08:51.260 that exact thing

00:08:52.200 that we're in a world now

00:08:53.880 where we're not

00:08:54.640 being challenged anymore.

00:08:55.580 We don't have

00:08:55.880 a common purpose.

00:08:56.720 We're not pulling

00:08:57.180 in the same direction.

00:08:58.280 And in North America

00:08:59.400 and in Europe,

00:09:00.620 we talk about

00:09:01.200 the greatest generation.

00:09:02.280 Well, that was the generation 1.00

00:09:03.100 that fought

00:09:03.640 and won World War II

00:09:04.780 and then helped

00:09:05.860 rebuild Europe

00:09:06.760 and the economies

00:09:08.440 of the U.S.

00:09:09.080 and Canada

00:09:09.480 after that.

00:09:10.520 And that's because

00:09:11.300 of the fact

00:09:11.860 that these people

00:09:12.640 were being stressed,

00:09:13.520 that they were

00:09:14.020 practicing misfortune,

00:09:15.660 obviously not intentionally,

00:09:17.300 but I think

00:09:17.940 the best comes out

00:09:19.180 in people sometimes

00:09:19.980 when they go through

00:09:20.660 these difficult times

00:09:21.900 when you are stressed.

00:09:22.800 It's pretty easy

00:09:23.420 to go through life

00:09:24.180 and never get your heart rate up

00:09:25.440 or never be challenged

00:09:26.280 nowadays,

00:09:26.940 especially if I go back

00:09:28.580 to that statement

00:09:29.160 about that Lincoln car.

00:09:30.340 If you can order dinner

00:09:31.200 on your drive home

00:09:32.340 by tapping on a screen,

00:09:33.740 not even having to

00:09:34.560 telephone anybody anymore,

00:09:35.920 not even have to think about it,

00:09:37.040 not even have to pick up

00:09:37.860 the groceries

00:09:38.380 at the grocery store,

00:09:39.380 I mean,

00:09:39.920 that brings a whole new level

00:09:40.980 of automation to our lives

00:09:42.160 and comfort versus discomfort.

00:09:44.840 Yeah, I actually heard a quote

00:09:46.260 and I can't remember

00:09:46.980 who said it

00:09:47.720 or where I read it

00:09:49.000 and what the author

00:09:50.040 had said is that

00:09:50.820 we almost in a way

00:09:51.940 need a new world war

00:09:53.580 without it having to be

00:09:54.820 a world war.

00:09:55.880 Something of that nature

00:09:57.500 to in a way

00:09:58.700 shock us back

00:09:59.400 to the reality

00:10:00.040 of dealing with hardships

00:10:01.660 and then being united

00:10:02.660 in a common purpose.

00:10:04.360 Yeah, I've heard that too.

00:10:05.100 I've heard in,

00:10:06.080 I think it was Sebastian Younger

00:10:07.280 who was talking about

00:10:08.020 in his book,

00:10:08.980 the people of Sarajevo,

00:10:10.300 some of them look back

00:10:11.280 with fondness

00:10:12.000 on what the war did to them

00:10:13.840 and the fact that

00:10:15.440 the city was never closer

00:10:16.920 even though it was

00:10:17.660 completely torn apart

00:10:18.780 in the sectarian lines

00:10:19.760 that people were living life

00:10:21.660 at the very limit

00:10:22.540 and at its most rich

00:10:23.820 because of the fact

00:10:24.600 that there is a conflict

00:10:25.480 and we don't have to go

00:10:27.060 that far in a global sense

00:10:28.320 but in an individual sense,

00:10:30.340 I really think we all need to,

00:10:31.820 and this is one of my,

00:10:33.420 this is my slogan

00:10:34.240 on my website

00:10:34.900 is to step out

00:10:35.860 of our comfort zones

00:10:36.640 and shove off from the dock

00:10:37.980 and I talk about that

00:10:39.800 because when you unzip

00:10:41.320 your tent without oxygen

00:10:42.420 at the high camp

00:10:43.180 on Mount Everest in Tibet

00:10:44.280 and step out into the night

00:10:45.680 to go to the summit,

00:10:47.100 you know that you're going

00:10:47.940 to be experiencing

00:10:48.720 the very definition

00:10:50.260 of discomfort

00:10:51.000 and the very definition

00:10:53.000 of the practice

00:10:53.900 of misfortune

00:10:54.740 or when you shove off

00:10:55.620 a tiny little dock

00:10:56.600 on a cold morning

00:10:57.840 in Halifax, Canada

00:10:58.880 to row across

00:10:59.940 the North Atlantic,

00:11:00.620 that is the epitome

00:11:02.380 of challenge,

00:11:03.820 the epitome of not knowing

00:11:05.720 what's going to happen

00:11:06.640 and I really love that.

00:11:09.080 I really am addicted

00:11:11.000 to that type of practice

00:11:12.520 of misfortune,

00:11:13.340 that type of pushing myself

00:11:14.520 and the only way

00:11:15.640 to know that

00:11:16.260 is by doing it.

00:11:17.420 So if somebody listening

00:11:18.360 to this podcast

00:11:19.120 hears me say that,

00:11:20.100 they may shake their head

00:11:21.000 and tsk, tsk

00:11:21.740 and that's too challenging

00:11:22.800 or that's too risky

00:11:23.860 or that's too dangerous

00:11:24.920 but it really makes life

00:11:27.080 a heck of a lot richer

00:11:28.080 I believe

00:11:28.580 and it makes you better

00:11:29.440 as a person

00:11:30.020 and better as a man.

00:11:31.920 We can go so many

00:11:32.600 different directions

00:11:33.240 in this conversation.

00:11:34.100 We can talk about

00:11:34.600 physical preparation

00:11:35.600 and anticipation

00:11:36.420 of some of these events

00:11:37.420 and these things

00:11:37.880 that you've done

00:11:38.480 but I'm really actually curious

00:11:40.400 about the mental preparation

00:11:42.080 because I think physically

00:11:43.520 a lot of guys

00:11:44.140 probably know what to do

00:11:45.280 and there's a lot

00:11:45.720 of information out there

00:11:46.700 but when it comes

00:11:47.420 to preparing yourself

00:11:48.460 mentally for enduring hardship,

00:11:51.520 I think there's a lot

00:11:52.300 of misunderstanding

00:11:52.960 on what that looks like.

00:11:54.380 How have you been able

00:11:55.380 to prepare mentally

00:11:56.360 for some of the challenges

00:11:57.560 that you faced?

00:11:59.220 I think my background,

00:12:01.080 Ryan, as an airline pilot

00:12:02.220 has really helped

00:12:02.880 in my day-to-day job

00:12:04.080 and what I did this morning

00:12:05.100 before we had this conversation

00:12:06.540 was I flew a Boeing 737 around

00:12:08.820 and what you do with that

00:12:10.860 is you prepare,

00:12:11.720 you have briefings,

00:12:12.880 you anticipate

00:12:13.540 what's going to go wrong.

00:12:14.760 In fact, every day

00:12:15.800 you do a complete emergency briefing

00:12:17.920 with your entire crew,

00:12:18.960 all the flight attendants,

00:12:19.880 the other pilot,

00:12:20.820 you talk about what each of us

00:12:22.100 is going to do

00:12:22.560 if we have an emergency

00:12:23.320 and I select that every morning.

00:12:24.680 That's one of the requirements

00:12:25.620 of my job

00:12:26.160 and then once I get

00:12:26.720 in the cockpit,

00:12:27.640 I sit down with my first officer

00:12:29.620 who's my co-pilot

00:12:30.740 and we have to review

00:12:32.780 an emergency

00:12:33.820 at the worst time

00:12:34.820 which is just as aircraft

00:12:35.880 is lifting off the ground

00:12:36.940 and we lose an engine

00:12:37.740 and we do that

00:12:38.300 every single day

00:12:39.500 and I've been an airline pilot

00:12:40.560 since I was 21 years old

00:12:42.260 so you can imagine

00:12:43.820 that I think

00:12:45.000 just like in the military,

00:12:46.260 especially when you get

00:12:46.820 to special forces type teams

00:12:48.380 as well,

00:12:48.920 is that it's all about

00:12:50.000 preparing for the worst,

00:12:52.220 obviously hoping for the best

00:12:53.540 just like we're hoping

00:12:54.220 that your neighbor's

00:12:54.840 not going to trim

00:12:55.440 their mulberry bush today

00:12:56.520 like it could have occurred earlier

00:12:57.800 but you have to,

00:12:59.820 through preparation,

00:13:00.800 gain the confidence

00:13:01.460 to be able to shove off that dock,

00:13:03.340 to be able to unzip that tent

00:13:04.620 and preparation

00:13:05.700 is the drug that you need

00:13:07.400 or is the magic elixir

00:13:09.180 that allows you

00:13:09.840 to do this stuff

00:13:10.820 with confidence

00:13:11.560 but in the back of your mind

00:13:12.760 you know that things

00:13:13.460 can go wrong

00:13:14.260 but you know that

00:13:15.320 your preparation

00:13:16.420 has been as well

00:13:17.820 as it could be

00:13:18.500 or perfect

00:13:19.100 and there's that old adage

00:13:21.340 and it's from,

00:13:22.080 it's not a Stoic

00:13:23.340 but it's a Greek philosopher

00:13:24.600 Archelokas

00:13:25.360 who said that 0.99

00:13:26.220 when the shit hits the fan 0.99

00:13:27.700 we don't rise to the level 0.99

00:13:29.220 of our hopes,

00:13:30.000 expectations and prayers,

00:13:31.720 we fall to the level

00:13:32.700 of our training

00:13:33.320 and I think that really helps

00:13:35.140 when you're going to step out

00:13:36.360 on these type of extreme adventures

00:13:37.960 that you have that type

00:13:38.900 of training and preparation.

00:13:40.500 That's funny you would say that

00:13:41.340 because as you were talking

00:13:42.360 I actually wrote that quote down

00:13:44.000 knowing that I wanted to address that

00:13:45.360 and bring that up

00:13:46.000 because that's exactly

00:13:46.720 what it sounds like

00:13:47.660 is that level of training.

00:13:49.080 My question is

00:13:49.760 how do you know

00:13:50.500 when you're adequately prepared

00:13:51.860 because you can't

00:13:53.100 fully anticipate everything

00:13:54.620 and I think there's a point in time

00:13:56.440 where it becomes paralysis

00:13:57.660 by analysis

00:13:58.480 and there's also a point in time

00:14:00.060 where it's time to

00:14:00.860 like you say

00:14:01.460 shove off

00:14:02.120 and actually go do the thing.

00:14:03.700 How do you know

00:14:04.220 you're to that point?

00:14:05.600 You don't.

00:14:06.100 You use your experience.

00:14:07.020 You use the stuff

00:14:07.720 you've learned

00:14:08.120 in other expeditions

00:14:09.060 or other aspects of your life

00:14:10.400 but you never really know.

00:14:12.100 You go,

00:14:12.600 you do as best as you can

00:14:13.680 to prepare for something.

00:14:14.620 For example,

00:14:15.200 when I decided to row

00:14:16.080 across the North Atlantic,

00:14:17.000 I was not an ocean roer.

00:14:19.040 I had a serious case

00:14:20.480 of imposter syndrome.

00:14:21.860 I was a specialist

00:14:23.460 in the mountains.

00:14:24.560 I was a specialist

00:14:25.160 on a bike.

00:14:26.060 I was a climber,

00:14:27.440 an ultra runner,

00:14:28.060 that type of thing

00:14:28.780 but knew nothing

00:14:29.900 about the oceans.

00:14:32.520 I live as close

00:14:33.320 to the oceans

00:14:33.820 as you are there in Utah

00:14:35.240 and it was a completely

00:14:37.160 new arena

00:14:38.600 for me to dabble in

00:14:39.680 so I literally sat down

00:14:40.880 and made a list,

00:14:41.920 a checklist

00:14:42.380 of what I thought

00:14:43.500 I needed to know

00:14:44.280 to row the North Atlantic

00:14:45.780 successfully

00:14:46.380 and that meant

00:14:47.500 the courses

00:14:48.100 I thought I needed

00:14:48.780 to take,

00:14:49.660 the books I thought

00:14:50.380 I would need

00:14:50.740 to read about,

00:14:51.600 of course I didn't

00:14:52.120 have any idea

00:14:52.740 what the name

00:14:53.160 of these books were,

00:14:54.260 the people I wanted

00:14:55.080 to talk to,

00:14:55.860 the boat I wanted

00:14:56.920 to get built

00:14:57.580 and I just slowly

00:14:58.620 went through that list

00:14:59.600 over several months

00:15:00.480 methodically checking it off

00:15:01.820 until it was all done

00:15:02.800 and that meant

00:15:03.920 things like doing

00:15:05.020 my Yacht Master

00:15:05.740 Ocean Theory training,

00:15:07.040 well before that

00:15:07.620 I actually did

00:15:08.140 my Day Skipper training

00:15:09.700 which is just how

00:15:10.240 to chug around

00:15:10.840 in a boat near the shore

00:15:11.980 then I had to do

00:15:13.020 all the stuff

00:15:13.860 that's involved

00:15:14.380 with that,

00:15:14.780 the navigation at sea,

00:15:16.520 the reading of the tides,

00:15:17.940 the predicting the tides,

00:15:19.220 the marine operator

00:15:20.540 radio's license

00:15:21.300 you have to get,

00:15:22.820 how to handle storms

00:15:24.020 at sea,

00:15:24.780 storm tactics,

00:15:25.580 I read book

00:15:26.240 after book

00:15:26.880 after book

00:15:27.480 on storm tactics

00:15:28.640 and disasters at sea

00:15:29.760 which is probably

00:15:30.900 not the best thing

00:15:31.800 when it comes to

00:15:32.580 my dreams at night

00:15:34.060 but it certainly

00:15:35.640 helped me

00:15:36.040 when things did go wrong

00:15:37.220 and I just put together

00:15:39.040 a list

00:15:39.420 and I don't know

00:15:40.240 if I had all the items

00:15:41.200 on the list,

00:15:41.940 Ryan,

00:15:42.680 but it worked

00:15:43.300 and for me

00:15:44.760 that list was sufficient

00:15:45.900 to get me across alive

00:15:46.960 which is really

00:15:47.540 all I wanted to do

00:15:48.360 is to get across alive

00:15:49.460 I wasn't looking

00:15:50.000 for a record

00:15:50.640 I wanted to do it

00:15:51.840 with some style

00:15:52.560 meaning without any assistance

00:15:53.660 and I wanted to do it safely

00:15:55.140 because I wanted to come back

00:15:56.040 and see my kids

00:15:56.680 and my wife again,

00:15:57.400 so.

00:15:58.020 One of the things

00:15:58.680 that really stood out to me

00:15:59.700 is that you turned to others

00:16:01.200 who had some level

00:16:02.300 of expertise

00:16:02.900 when it comes to

00:16:04.040 some of the certificates

00:16:04.900 that you needed

00:16:05.640 and talking with

00:16:06.760 some of the experts

00:16:07.620 it sounds like

00:16:08.620 building that team

00:16:09.460 although maybe

00:16:09.980 you didn't use that team

00:16:11.040 during the actual event itself

00:16:12.680 was a critical component

00:16:14.520 of preparation for you

00:16:15.520 am I understanding

00:16:16.060 that correctly?

00:16:17.360 Yeah,

00:16:17.460 I talked to people

00:16:18.140 who had rowed the ocean alone

00:16:19.380 and then I put together

00:16:20.460 a team behind the scenes

00:16:21.600 so I had a really good

00:16:22.600 wind, weather, and waves guy

00:16:24.040 who's actually a flight dispatcher

00:16:25.620 at my airline

00:16:26.380 and he's the guy

00:16:27.180 that did my weather

00:16:28.100 when I was on Mount Everest

00:16:29.680 as well.

00:16:30.180 This guy lives

00:16:31.320 in the middle of the prairies

00:16:32.380 or he's from the middle

00:16:33.260 of the prairies

00:16:33.780 here in Canada

00:16:34.460 in a province called Saskatchewan

00:16:35.960 and has never had anything

00:16:37.580 to do with mountains

00:16:38.400 never had anything

00:16:39.180 to do with the ocean

00:16:40.000 or with extreme adventure

00:16:42.140 or even the outdoors

00:16:43.440 but he is an absolute

00:16:45.420 Star Trek bum head

00:16:46.820 when it comes to weather

00:16:47.740 and so this guy

00:16:49.460 became an expert

00:16:50.400 on Everest weather

00:16:51.200 he became such an expert

00:16:53.280 that people for years

00:16:54.420 afterwards

00:16:54.840 have been calling him

00:16:55.700 to try and do their weather

00:16:56.840 for Everest

00:16:57.500 because on Everest

00:16:58.800 you have to hit

00:16:59.520 a certain window

00:17:00.320 just perfectly

00:17:01.100 it's when the

00:17:01.800 high altitude winds

00:17:03.160 or the high velocity winds

00:17:04.500 at high altitude

00:17:05.140 called the jet stream

00:17:06.020 move off the top

00:17:06.980 of the mountain

00:17:07.440 and prior to that happening

00:17:09.500 there's a window

00:17:10.540 between the winds moving

00:17:11.860 and the monsoon period

00:17:13.760 of heavy snow starting

00:17:14.800 so what happens

00:17:15.520 is a huge low pressure system

00:17:16.880 forms over

00:17:17.600 the Bay of Bengal

00:17:19.000 flexes into Asia

00:17:21.500 into the Himalayas

00:17:22.760 moves that jet stream

00:17:23.680 to the north

00:17:24.180 over Tibet

00:17:24.780 and then you have

00:17:25.740 to get up there

00:17:26.420 during that period

00:17:27.600 of the wind

00:17:28.600 being pushed north

00:17:29.540 and the monsoon winds

00:17:31.640 that are coming

00:17:32.200 are the monsoon snows

00:17:33.620 that are coming

00:17:34.080 off the Bay of Bengal

00:17:34.980 hitting you

00:17:35.440 and he called

00:17:35.920 that window perfectly

00:17:36.820 so that guy

00:17:38.560 was on my team

00:17:39.260 for the row as well

00:17:40.040 so he was the guy

00:17:40.780 doing my wind

00:17:41.400 my weather

00:17:42.320 and my waves

00:17:42.880 every day

00:17:43.500 we'd have a communication

00:17:44.980 via email

00:17:45.560 and he would talk

00:17:46.440 about the currents

00:17:47.200 I could expect

00:17:47.940 the wave heights

00:17:49.280 storms that were coming

00:17:50.660 when the storms

00:17:51.320 would hit me

00:17:51.760 when they would end

00:17:52.340 that type of thing

00:17:53.000 so yeah

00:17:53.920 I had a team

00:17:54.500 behind me

00:17:55.060 so just like

00:17:56.380 you might have

00:17:57.020 special forces guy

00:17:58.120 on the sharp end

00:17:58.840 of the spear

00:17:59.320 doing something

00:17:59.960 there's a whole team

00:18:01.020 behind those guys

00:18:01.780 that are helping out

00:18:02.540 so I got all the glory

00:18:03.880 but those guys

00:18:04.940 are very important

00:18:05.740 the team I had

00:18:06.780 Jim Redeker

00:18:07.280 and his gang

00:18:07.920 who were my dispatchers

00:18:10.440 how do you weigh

00:18:11.720 the risk involved

00:18:12.940 versus the reward

00:18:13.920 that it will produce

00:18:14.820 because you talk

00:18:15.520 about wanting

00:18:16.080 for example

00:18:16.700 with your

00:18:17.220 North Atlantic row

00:18:18.880 you talk about

00:18:19.740 wanting to return home

00:18:20.660 to see your wife

00:18:21.400 and did you say

00:18:22.080 kids or child

00:18:22.920 kids

00:18:23.900 I've got a daughter

00:18:25.560 and a son

00:18:26.140 okay

00:18:26.600 yeah the hardest part

00:18:27.920 absolutely the hardest part

00:18:29.340 of any of these expeditions

00:18:30.400 is leaving the house

00:18:31.900 on the way to the airport

00:18:33.020 to depart

00:18:34.020 either

00:18:34.420 to either

00:18:35.880 whether I'm climbing

00:18:36.660 in Iraq

00:18:37.100 or I'm climbing Everest

00:18:38.420 or I'm going across

00:18:39.720 the Atlantic alone

00:18:40.440 that is the hardest

00:18:41.200 most heart-wrenching

00:18:42.320 difficult thing

00:18:42.900 I've ever done

00:18:43.540 but it certainly

00:18:45.440 is an impetus

00:18:46.100 to come back alive

00:18:47.100 but it's the toughest

00:18:48.380 there's nothing like it

00:18:49.480 to say goodbye

00:18:50.640 to your kids

00:18:51.220 and knowing that

00:18:51.860 you're going on

00:18:52.360 an expedition

00:18:52.840 that is a little bit

00:18:54.860 out of the ordinary

00:18:55.500 why do you do it?

00:18:57.640 I don't know why I do it

00:18:58.640 it's been asked that question

00:18:59.740 50,000 times

00:19:01.220 and it's just part

00:19:01.960 of who I am

00:19:02.660 it's just part

00:19:03.560 of who I am

00:19:04.220 it's just the way

00:19:05.160 I've evolved

00:19:05.900 as a person

00:19:06.640 and if you look back

00:19:09.240 I don't have the intelligence

00:19:10.720 to look back

00:19:11.580 and piece it all together

00:19:12.520 and how this puzzle

00:19:13.240 came together

00:19:13.800 and why this boy

00:19:15.200 from a small farming community

00:19:17.100 in northern Alberta

00:19:17.820 Canada

00:19:18.260 started to do this stuff

00:19:19.580 because I certainly

00:19:20.720 didn't live near the mountains

00:19:21.800 I didn't near live the ocean

00:19:23.360 I lived in a small

00:19:25.100 French Canadian

00:19:25.900 farming town

00:19:26.540 with German farmers

00:19:27.380 around it

00:19:27.920 and my dad's

00:19:29.120 French Canadian

00:19:29.680 my mom's German

00:19:30.520 very conservative

00:19:31.440 although my dad

00:19:32.480 was a huge reader

00:19:33.800 he still is a huge reader

00:19:36.220 my mom was big

00:19:36.960 into physical fitness

00:19:37.900 and those two

00:19:39.220 influences combined

00:19:42.000 and with my dad

00:19:43.660 telling me that

00:19:44.380 you know

00:19:44.660 as he saw me

00:19:45.300 always reading

00:19:46.300 National Geographic

00:19:47.100 growing up

00:19:47.720 he said

00:19:48.800 you know

00:19:49.240 you obviously

00:19:50.040 want to go to these places

00:19:51.120 why don't you get

00:19:51.820 your commercial pilot's license

00:19:54.100 become an airline pilot

00:19:55.120 and then you can visit

00:19:55.720 all these places

00:19:56.340 and go do all that stuff

00:19:57.520 so boom

00:19:58.360 I did

00:19:58.900 and funny enough

00:20:00.640 my brother followed

00:20:01.400 in my footsteps

00:20:01.960 he's an airline pilot

00:20:03.100 our oldest son did

00:20:04.680 who we lost

00:20:05.580 three years ago

00:20:06.280 and then

00:20:06.680 my young boy

00:20:07.820 Eric

00:20:08.280 started his

00:20:09.080 private pilot training

00:20:10.400 two nights ago

00:20:11.160 he's 16

00:20:11.980 so

00:20:12.480 I think there's some

00:20:13.660 flying in her blood 0.94

00:20:14.400 as well

00:20:14.760 but that flying

00:20:16.180 opens up the whole world

00:20:16.980 because we have

00:20:17.780 very cheap tickets

00:20:18.740 to fly anywhere

00:20:19.400 in the world

00:20:19.880 I was going to say

00:20:20.540 it would get a little

00:20:21.020 expensive

00:20:21.320 I'm sure it gets expensive

00:20:22.380 even taking that

00:20:23.740 into consideration

00:20:24.520 yeah

00:20:25.520 an ocean rowing boat

00:20:26.520 is probably about

00:20:27.740 as much as a Ferrari

00:20:28.720 but thank god

00:20:29.820 I just sold it

00:20:30.620 so it's

00:20:31.300 I'm getting some

00:20:32.000 slowly getting some

00:20:32.780 points back

00:20:33.340 from my wife Janet

00:20:34.220 on that one

00:20:34.880 but yeah

00:20:35.380 I've got some

00:20:36.740 expensive habits

00:20:37.220 did you finance that

00:20:38.060 yourself?

00:20:38.540 did you have sponsors?

00:20:39.820 I had about 30%

00:20:41.020 of this last expedition

00:20:42.380 was covered by sponsors

00:20:43.500 but all the others

00:20:44.480 I've done

00:20:44.860 were done 100%

00:20:46.140 on my own

00:20:46.640 other than the fact

00:20:47.280 that equipment

00:20:48.260 and that type of thing

00:20:49.100 clothing

00:20:49.500 and small things

00:20:51.240 like that

00:20:51.640 but I actually had

00:20:52.400 some financial sponsorship

00:20:53.520 on the last one

00:20:54.300 then I turned it

00:20:54.940 into a cancer fundraiser

00:20:56.440 as well

00:20:56.820 it was called

00:20:57.140 the Confront Cancer

00:20:58.220 Ocean Row

00:20:58.940 because I always imagine

00:21:00.880 that walking

00:21:01.440 into your doctor's office

00:21:02.420 with some type of ailment

00:21:03.520 that you don't know

00:21:04.080 what it is

00:21:04.560 and then he calls you back

00:21:06.020 to tell you

00:21:06.520 what the test results are

00:21:07.700 and sits you down

00:21:08.360 and tells you

00:21:08.760 you have cancer

00:21:09.300 it's probably a lot

00:21:10.120 like being taken

00:21:11.020 to the dock

00:21:11.960 on the edge

00:21:12.760 of the North Atlantic

00:21:13.500 on a cold rainy day

00:21:14.660 and being shoved off

00:21:15.500 in a boat

00:21:15.880 and saying

00:21:16.180 you know what

00:21:16.660 you're going to be out there

00:21:17.840 for about three to six months

00:21:19.020 of chemo

00:21:19.600 the seasickness you get

00:21:21.520 from the waves

00:21:22.100 is just going to be

00:21:22.720 like the sickness

00:21:23.660 you get from the chemo

00:21:24.840 even though you're going

00:21:25.760 to be surrounded

00:21:26.200 by people electronically

00:21:27.260 like I was

00:21:27.880 and satellite phones

00:21:28.780 and email

00:21:29.200 and that type of thing

00:21:29.960 you really are on your own

00:21:31.280 and you're not really

00:21:32.600 100% sure

00:21:33.460 whether you're going

00:21:33.860 to make it out

00:21:34.280 the other side

00:21:34.960 and you're going

00:21:35.420 to have storms

00:21:36.440 of pain

00:21:37.100 and darkness

00:21:37.720 and terror

00:21:38.760 and I really thought

00:21:40.240 that it was a good metaphor

00:21:41.120 for what a cancer patient

00:21:42.280 must go through

00:21:43.000 so I did the row

00:21:44.180 as a cancer fundraiser

00:21:45.260 because I've had

00:21:45.740 some very close friends

00:21:47.240 who have been diagnosed

00:21:48.360 with cancer

00:21:48.900 and lost my father

00:21:50.060 in a lot of cancer

00:21:50.740 etc

00:21:51.120 the same story

00:21:51.840 we all have

00:21:52.420 everybody's been touched

00:21:53.340 by cancer

00:21:53.840 and I thought

00:21:54.240 it was a good way

00:21:55.680 to draw some attention

00:21:56.560 to cancer

00:21:57.560 in the province

00:21:58.140 that I live in

00:21:58.700 yeah it's really powerful

00:21:59.760 and I'm sure

00:22:00.200 that reminder

00:22:00.760 that you were actually

00:22:01.600 doing it for a higher cause

00:22:02.820 and something very noble

00:22:04.540 and virtuous

00:22:04.960 probably

00:22:05.500 well I don't want

00:22:06.560 to put words in your mouth

00:22:07.240 but I'm assuming

00:22:07.880 that it kept you going

00:22:08.700 at times

00:22:09.160 yeah I don't think it did

00:22:10.980 I think

00:22:11.360 I don't want to sound pithy

00:22:12.980 but it was really

00:22:13.960 my desire to see my family

00:22:16.060 which is the strongest thing

00:22:17.280 the thought of Janet

00:22:18.540 standing on that dock

00:22:19.580 in France

00:22:20.000 when I got there

00:22:20.660 and then walking home

00:22:22.300 or flying home

00:22:23.180 and walking through that airport

00:22:24.200 and seeing the kids

00:22:25.100 that is an incredible magnet

00:22:27.460 and that magnet

00:22:29.100 pulled me right across

00:22:30.040 the North Atlantic

00:22:30.680 so that's really

00:22:32.060 what it's all about

00:22:32.820 I think

00:22:33.220 is you come back

00:22:34.420 from living on the edge

00:22:35.580 and you're back home

00:22:36.380 in the arms of your family

00:22:37.280 and I don't know

00:22:38.340 it's part of being a man

00:22:39.300 I think to be back home

00:22:40.300 and safe and sound

00:22:41.180 yet you just came back

00:22:42.280 from battle

00:22:43.520 in quotation marks

00:22:44.460 how long did that trek

00:22:45.880 take you?

00:22:46.980 it was 53 days

00:22:48.020 from the time

00:22:48.880 I shoved off

00:22:49.500 to the time

00:22:49.960 I got to the other side

00:22:51.000 and it was

00:22:52.040 quite an adventure

00:22:53.160 yeah

00:22:53.540 guys I know

00:22:56.360 I've talked with you

00:22:56.960 about the Iron Council

00:22:57.860 before

00:22:58.280 it is incredible

00:22:59.120 digital community

00:23:00.140 and that's really

00:23:00.820 what it's been

00:23:01.280 up to this point

00:23:01.820 a digital community

00:23:02.720 yes we've helped

00:23:03.500 hundreds of men

00:23:04.100 across the planet

00:23:04.700 accomplish some huge goals

00:23:05.960 but at the end of the day

00:23:06.900 it's digital

00:23:07.880 it's all done through

00:23:09.060 the website

00:23:09.920 and technology

00:23:10.740 but what we really

00:23:11.620 wanted to make

00:23:12.260 is something personal

00:23:13.620 so we're in the process

00:23:14.680 right now

00:23:15.160 of creating regional meetups

00:23:16.260 and gatherings for men

00:23:17.400 inside of the Iron Council

00:23:18.800 and in addition to that

00:23:19.780 and I mentioned this earlier

00:23:20.740 if you are a member

00:23:22.000 of the Iron Council

00:23:22.720 we are throwing in

00:23:23.820 a free half day

00:23:24.740 with me

00:23:25.280 and the other members

00:23:26.280 of the Iron Council

00:23:26.920 at the meetup

00:23:27.820 in Nashville

00:23:28.840 which is going to be held

00:23:29.680 January 26th

00:23:30.780 and 27th

00:23:31.500 2018

00:23:32.080 we're always looking

00:23:33.580 for new ways

00:23:34.080 to connect powerful men

00:23:35.240 so they can learn from

00:23:36.720 and be accountable

00:23:37.560 for and to each other

00:23:38.920 so if you want to learn more

00:23:40.140 about what we're up to

00:23:41.080 you want to claim your seat

00:23:42.300 at the table

00:23:42.820 and join with us digitally

00:23:44.720 and now locally

00:23:45.980 and regionally as well

00:23:47.180 I invite you to get registered

00:23:48.620 at orderofman.com

00:23:50.100 slash Iron Council

00:23:51.280 again you're going to get

00:23:52.080 that extra half day

00:23:53.160 at the meetup

00:23:53.780 later this month

00:23:54.520 orderofman.com

00:23:56.280 slash Iron Council

00:23:57.300 I hope to see you there

00:23:58.160 now with that said

00:23:59.300 let's get back

00:23:59.820 to the conversation

00:24:00.500 with Laval

00:24:01.100 it's really interesting

00:24:04.500 to hear you talk about

00:24:05.520 your father

00:24:06.020 and your mother

00:24:06.600 and of course

00:24:07.100 now the fact

00:24:07.820 that you're a father

00:24:08.480 you talk about

00:24:09.940 him in a way

00:24:11.260 your father

00:24:11.740 being an instrument

00:24:12.980 in helping you

00:24:13.960 identify

00:24:14.580 and even giving you

00:24:15.560 some guidance

00:24:16.220 and direction

00:24:16.820 into what

00:24:17.520 you're supposed

00:24:18.240 to be doing

00:24:18.740 I thought that was

00:24:19.300 a really powerful

00:24:19.900 lesson there

00:24:20.440 and then of course

00:24:20.920 it sounds like

00:24:21.380 you're passing that

00:24:21.980 on to your kids

00:24:22.540 as well

00:24:22.960 yeah

00:24:24.240 and I think I am

00:24:25.380 but I think I've

00:24:25.860 learned a lot

00:24:26.300 from my relationship

00:24:26.900 with my dad

00:24:27.440 my dad and I

00:24:27.900 became estranged

00:24:28.960 when I was in my 20s

00:24:30.380 when my mom and dad

00:24:31.700 divorced suddenly

00:24:32.800 and I with the benefit

00:24:35.540 of hindsight

00:24:36.100 saw some things

00:24:37.140 in our relationship

00:24:38.500 that I didn't really like

00:24:39.600 and we were

00:24:40.420 incommunicado

00:24:41.340 for quite a few years

00:24:42.640 and I think

00:24:43.680 a lot of people

00:24:45.340 who do these types

00:24:47.280 of things

00:24:47.700 have some type

00:24:48.500 of pathology

00:24:49.260 in their background

00:24:49.960 and it doesn't have

00:24:51.060 to be anything significant

00:24:52.540 but I think

00:24:53.520 that I had

00:24:54.620 some relationship issues

00:24:56.000 with my dad

00:24:56.820 and I

00:24:57.240 maybe without even

00:24:58.740 knowing

00:24:59.040 maybe subconsciously

00:25:00.160 was trying

00:25:00.520 to prove myself

00:25:01.320 to him

00:25:01.780 and I've tried

00:25:03.700 to you know

00:25:04.560 your last question

00:25:05.240 about why I do it

00:25:06.280 and I think

00:25:07.280 there may be

00:25:07.700 something there

00:25:08.260 but I just don't

00:25:09.160 know exactly

00:25:09.740 what that is

00:25:10.340 I certainly

00:25:10.860 did not have

00:25:11.400 a bad childhood

00:25:12.160 I honestly

00:25:13.640 did not have

00:25:14.180 a bad relationship

00:25:15.280 with my dad

00:25:15.900 until my 20s

00:25:17.220 we've now

00:25:17.800 speaking again

00:25:18.880 but I really

00:25:20.260 think that

00:25:20.820 there was

00:25:21.300 some type

00:25:21.820 of friction

00:25:22.400 or some type

00:25:23.200 of pathology

00:25:24.280 between us

00:25:25.080 that may have

00:25:26.320 caused me

00:25:27.000 to step out

00:25:27.700 and do that

00:25:28.100 or contributed

00:25:29.080 to me trying

00:25:29.820 to prove myself

00:25:30.460 I'm not sure

00:25:31.080 what it is

00:25:31.520 and it's hard

00:25:31.900 to put my finger

00:25:32.580 on it

00:25:32.900 but a lot

00:25:33.900 of times

00:25:34.300 when you have

00:25:34.840 people that do

00:25:35.500 these types

00:25:35.920 of things

00:25:36.280 there's issues

00:25:37.080 like that

00:25:37.660 and there's

00:25:38.040 addictions issues

00:25:38.780 in the family

00:25:39.420 as well

00:25:39.860 and my mom

00:25:41.120 and my dad

00:25:41.600 were weren't

00:25:42.860 addicted to anything

00:25:43.580 but I know

00:25:44.360 my dad had

00:25:45.160 relatives on his

00:25:46.040 side of the family

00:25:46.720 where there's a

00:25:47.340 sort of a long

00:25:48.040 line of alcoholism

00:25:49.100 and I think

00:25:50.340 that maybe

00:25:51.000 if there is

00:25:52.040 such a thing

00:25:52.620 and I don't

00:25:53.000 know if it's

00:25:53.340 ever been proven

00:25:54.400 but if there is

00:25:55.000 some type

00:25:55.380 of addictive

00:25:55.920 gene

00:25:56.600 or addictive

00:25:57.820 behavior

00:25:58.360 that can be

00:25:58.860 passed down

00:25:59.540 then maybe

00:26:00.040 I have that

00:26:01.080 but I've pushed

00:26:02.440 it into things

00:26:03.180 like physical

00:26:04.220 fitness

00:26:04.620 and travel

00:26:05.640 and pushing 0.99

00:26:06.800 myself

00:26:07.280 I guess

00:26:07.700 I'm addicted

00:26:08.560 to practicing

00:26:09.180 misfortune

00:26:09.780 maybe

00:26:10.120 but we were

00:26:11.360 at base camp

00:26:12.120 on Everest

00:26:12.520 and one of the

00:26:13.040 guys in Aussie

00:26:13.800 did an informal

00:26:14.960 survey

00:26:15.380 he went around

00:26:15.980 we were all

00:26:16.320 sitting around

00:26:16.740 one night

00:26:17.180 and in this

00:26:18.440 tent

00:26:18.760 at a table

00:26:19.600 kind of sitting

00:26:20.400 there in our

00:26:20.760 down jackets

00:26:21.340 freezing

00:26:21.740 and he asked

00:26:22.300 everybody

00:26:22.660 and I think

00:26:23.840 about 95%

00:26:25.520 of the people

00:26:26.080 there had

00:26:26.620 addictions

00:26:27.300 in their family

00:26:27.880 background

00:26:28.380 yeah

00:26:29.400 a lot of the

00:26:30.160 guys that I've

00:26:30.640 talked with

00:26:31.060 and I've talked

00:26:31.500 with some

00:26:31.980 extremely

00:26:32.580 extremely

00:26:33.020 successful men

00:26:33.740 amongst yourself

00:26:34.460 who have

00:26:36.200 learned to

00:26:37.020 harness that

00:26:37.800 addiction gene

00:26:39.180 if that is

00:26:39.740 such a thing

00:26:40.300 or the power

00:26:41.140 of obsession

00:26:41.700 to produce

00:26:43.400 positive outcomes

00:26:44.280 rather than

00:26:44.700 destructive ones

00:26:45.520 and I think

00:26:45.920 it's very easy

00:26:46.540 for men

00:26:47.500 who are very

00:26:47.900 successful

00:26:48.320 to go either

00:26:49.080 way if they

00:26:49.760 can't keep

00:26:50.220 that thing

00:26:50.540 in check

00:26:50.980 oh yeah

00:26:52.000 I think

00:26:52.500 there's something

00:26:53.040 there

00:26:53.360 and I'm not

00:26:54.600 learned enough

00:26:55.200 to know what

00:26:55.720 it is

00:26:56.040 but there is

00:26:56.660 something that

00:26:57.160 occurs when you

00:26:57.920 come from a

00:26:58.480 long line of

00:26:59.320 people with

00:26:59.820 addictions issues

00:27:00.500 for sure

00:27:01.020 and every family

00:27:02.300 just about I think

00:27:03.220 has an alcoholic

00:27:04.280 somewhere in it

00:27:05.040 but some people

00:27:05.660 have more

00:27:06.160 so

00:27:06.680 it's interesting

00:27:07.960 that you talk

00:27:08.560 about maybe

00:27:09.420 subconsciously

00:27:10.340 trying to prove

00:27:11.000 something

00:27:11.340 we just recently

00:27:12.140 had John Eldridge

00:27:13.160 on the show

00:27:13.620 I don't know

00:27:13.900 if you're

00:27:14.100 familiar with

00:27:14.520 his work

00:27:14.940 he wrote

00:27:15.760 the book

00:27:16.300 Wild at Heart

00:27:16.980 among probably

00:27:17.860 a dozen other

00:27:18.480 books

00:27:18.840 and he says

00:27:20.120 that most

00:27:20.820 that all men

00:27:21.800 are out there

00:27:22.540 trying to answer

00:27:23.220 the question

00:27:23.780 of am I

00:27:24.920 enough

00:27:25.380 and it's

00:27:26.460 almost along

00:27:27.160 the same lines

00:27:27.900 of what you're

00:27:28.560 talking about here

00:27:29.240 trying to prove

00:27:30.380 yourself in a way

00:27:31.900 to your father

00:27:32.540 do you feel like

00:27:33.180 that's still the

00:27:33.840 case do you feel

00:27:34.500 like something else

00:27:35.240 is driving you now

00:27:36.220 that's interesting

00:27:37.680 that's interesting

00:27:37.700 because I heard

00:27:38.420 your podcast

00:27:39.140 I listened to it

00:27:40.460 twice actually

00:27:41.140 there is some

00:27:42.080 stuff there

00:27:42.580 but I think

00:27:43.040 what happens

00:27:43.600 now

00:27:43.860 Ryan I don't

00:27:44.760 know if you

00:27:45.160 have kids

00:27:46.180 but once you

00:27:47.520 go from that

00:27:48.500 fresh

00:27:49.140 when I say

00:27:50.580 this I say

00:27:51.340 this in a sense

00:27:52.220 that fresh

00:27:53.260 out of the womb 0.96

00:27:53.920 meaning when you're

00:27:54.880 still living with

00:27:55.660 your parents

00:27:56.240 I think you're

00:27:56.800 and as a young

00:27:57.900 adult you're

00:27:58.580 trying to prove

00:27:59.060 yourself to your

00:27:59.740 dad and to your

00:28:00.740 mom but your mom

00:28:01.460 is more of a

00:28:03.040 maternal figure

00:28:03.720 obviously who's a

00:28:04.620 caring a person

00:28:05.960 versus somebody

00:28:06.500 who really pushes

00:28:07.160 you now once

00:28:09.040 you have children

00:28:09.820 though that swaps

00:28:11.540 and you're trying

00:28:12.260 to now to try

00:28:14.160 you're trying to

00:28:14.880 now to prove

00:28:15.360 yourself prove

00:28:16.500 yourself is such

00:28:17.060 a bad word but

00:28:17.980 you're trying to

00:28:18.500 validate or elevate

00:28:20.960 yourself in the eyes

00:28:22.020 of your children

00:28:22.840 and I think that's

00:28:23.700 very important

00:28:24.340 because if you

00:28:24.940 live like that

00:28:25.720 you're going to

00:28:26.400 really watch what

00:28:27.240 you do watch

00:28:27.980 what you say and

00:28:28.980 practice what you

00:28:29.680 preach and I

00:28:31.120 think that's very

00:28:31.820 important and what

00:28:32.620 happens is if you

00:28:33.420 come from a

00:28:34.280 bit of a troubled

00:28:35.200 background with

00:28:35.940 either one of your

00:28:36.580 parents but

00:28:37.060 specifically with

00:28:37.840 men and their

00:28:39.020 fathers then I

00:28:39.920 think that you

00:28:40.560 learn from those

00:28:41.540 mistakes that your

00:28:42.440 dad made and I've

00:28:43.800 learned from mistakes

00:28:44.560 that I've made with

00:28:45.420 my oldest son as

00:28:46.380 well and you

00:28:47.180 you really try and

00:28:48.640 become a person

00:28:49.940 that your son does

00:28:50.900 not have to look

00:28:51.760 back on with any

00:28:52.980 type of regrets or

00:28:54.880 that your son will

00:28:56.120 always look up to

00:28:57.200 because I think the

00:28:58.160 ultimate aim as a

00:28:59.220 father and as a

00:29:00.020 man is that if

00:29:01.340 your son at age

00:29:02.160 40 has somebody

00:29:03.040 say who is your

00:29:03.780 hero that he

00:29:05.120 names his parents

00:29:05.940 he names his

00:29:06.460 mom and his dad

00:29:07.160 and then whoever

00:29:08.480 else has impacted

00:29:09.440 his life and I

00:29:10.120 think that's

00:29:10.560 extremely important

00:29:11.680 and I think it's

00:29:12.400 a good way to

00:29:13.380 sort of keep the

00:29:14.800 trajectory of your

00:29:15.500 life moving in the

00:29:16.340 right direction

00:29:16.980 knowing that you're

00:29:18.020 always being watched

00:29:19.100 and you know they

00:29:20.040 quite often say that

00:29:21.080 people who think

00:29:22.240 that they're on

00:29:22.720 camera perform a

00:29:23.760 lot different than

00:29:24.880 if they think

00:29:25.640 they're not being

00:29:26.160 watched so if you

00:29:26.860 always keep that in

00:29:27.560 mind that what

00:29:28.560 you're saying what

00:29:29.540 you're doing and

00:29:30.140 how you're performing

00:29:30.960 is being soaked

00:29:32.520 up by your son or

00:29:34.100 your daughter it

00:29:35.320 really helps and I

00:29:37.220 don't want to keep

00:29:37.700 hitting on the

00:29:38.220 stoicism or the

00:29:39.200 stoic stuff but

00:29:40.120 Epictetus said that

00:29:42.120 man is affected not

00:29:43.360 by events but by the

00:29:44.600 view he takes of

00:29:45.520 them meaning that the

00:29:46.800 way you react to

00:29:47.700 things is so

00:29:48.300 critically important

00:29:49.260 and your kids see

00:29:50.340 that your wife sees

00:29:51.960 that and if they see

00:29:53.720 that you react to a

00:29:54.640 crisis in a way that

00:29:56.200 keeps them safe the

00:29:57.120 family safe and you

00:29:58.580 remain intact in

00:29:59.860 their eyes it's

00:30:00.580 extremely important

00:30:01.340 I don't know if I'm

00:30:02.180 making sense but

00:30:02.900 that's the way I like

00:30:03.620 to to see it now is

00:30:05.300 that you're performing

00:30:06.100 for your kids yeah I

00:30:07.900 mean total sense that's

00:30:08.760 such a powerful

00:30:09.300 perspective because I

00:30:10.340 have four kids and I

00:30:12.420 know that's certainly

00:30:13.160 been true of me and

00:30:14.320 that I do want to in a

00:30:15.820 way perform certainly I

00:30:17.980 want it to be authentic

00:30:18.800 and genuine but I do

00:30:20.060 want to be the best

00:30:21.300 version of myself as a

00:30:22.460 man so that my sons

00:30:24.160 can emulate that and my

00:30:25.720 daughter can find down

00:30:27.740 the road the type of

00:30:28.940 man hopefully that I'm

00:30:30.160 excited that she's

00:30:31.500 decided to give her

00:30:32.380 heart to if you will

00:30:33.340 yeah and and I think

00:30:35.080 the reason and I

00:30:36.580 heard the interview

00:30:37.180 like I said twice

00:30:38.060 Ryan and I know that

00:30:39.080 you grew up without a

00:30:40.180 father figure in your

00:30:41.060 life and what you're

00:30:42.820 doing now is really

00:30:43.780 interesting because you're

00:30:45.460 doing exactly what

00:30:46.500 John talked about in

00:30:47.400 the interview that

00:30:48.200 you're always striving

00:30:50.760 for and looking for

00:30:52.060 what it means to be a

00:30:53.140 man to what it means to

00:30:54.120 be a father and I

00:30:55.700 mean the name of your

00:30:56.340 podcast is the order

00:30:57.460 of man I think that

00:30:58.500 is so critical but

00:30:59.840 what it tells me and

00:31:02.240 by the interview that

00:31:03.140 you did with him and

00:31:03.940 by the fact that you

00:31:05.200 have this podcast and

00:31:06.200 this community that

00:31:06.960 you're growing is that

00:31:08.020 as a man you need to

00:31:09.440 always be learning and

00:31:10.720 you need to always be

00:31:11.700 improving that you're

00:31:12.620 even when you're lying

00:31:14.300 in your deathbed in

00:31:15.160 your 80s or 90s you

00:31:16.240 have to be wanting to

00:31:17.140 improve and I think

00:31:18.880 that's really important

00:31:19.680 we can't be completely

00:31:20.780 comfortable with who we

00:31:21.680 are and I think that

00:31:23.220 this type of podcast and

00:31:24.960 this type of group or

00:31:26.160 this type of philosophy

00:31:27.180 is that of always

00:31:28.540 trying to improve

00:31:29.460 either in our own

00:31:31.020 eyes or in the eyes

00:31:32.200 of our family and of

00:31:33.420 our peers so it's we

00:31:35.500 are biologically

00:31:36.420 programmed hardwired to

00:31:38.280 perform I mean the

00:31:40.140 males a hundred thousand

00:31:41.880 years ago competing for

00:31:43.580 the reproductive rights

00:31:45.020 of a female were the

00:31:45.960 ones who performed the

00:31:47.880 ones who were the

00:31:48.520 strongest the ones who

00:31:49.500 are the funniest the

00:31:50.400 ones who are who are

00:31:51.840 the the best hunters

00:31:53.660 best gatherers that

00:31:54.820 type of thing and that

00:31:55.680 now has cascaded down

00:31:57.740 and we we are no

00:31:58.760 different than we were

00:31:59.460 a hundred thousand

00:31:59.980 years ago so it's it

00:32:01.500 all makes perfect sense

00:32:02.520 if you go back to an

00:32:03.460 evolutionary sense I

00:32:05.140 know there's a lot of

00:32:05.820 guys that are listening

00:32:06.540 to this that aren't

00:32:07.500 real satisfied or

00:32:08.420 comfortable with where

00:32:09.200 they are they feel

00:32:10.140 like they're in this

00:32:10.840 place of complacency or

00:32:12.320 mediocrity and can't

00:32:13.600 quite put their finger

00:32:14.580 on what's going on I

00:32:15.920 would probably urge you

00:32:17.500 that there is some sort

00:32:18.300 of adventure that you

00:32:19.300 need to take part in but

00:32:21.100 how do you suggest

00:32:21.920 somebody get started

00:32:22.960 because they're not

00:32:23.580 going to go from I

00:32:25.020 don't know what I'm

00:32:25.620 missing to now I want

00:32:26.580 to climb Mount

00:32:27.440 Everest well let me say

00:32:29.160 that I'm one of those

00:32:29.960 guys I think we all

00:32:31.100 are that we all feel

00:32:32.920 like that we're

00:32:34.080 experiencing

00:32:34.520 mediocrity in our

00:32:35.320 lives we all feel

00:32:36.040 like we're not

00:32:36.420 achieving what we need

00:32:37.360 to be achieving and

00:32:38.540 if you don't that's a

00:32:39.420 problem because that

00:32:41.360 means you're sitting

00:32:41.920 back and you're too

00:32:42.640 comfortable we should

00:32:43.480 never ever be satisfied

00:32:44.740 with where we are I

00:32:45.840 mean we can be

00:32:46.440 content we can be

00:32:48.300 comfortable in our

00:32:49.420 lives meaning that we

00:32:50.340 can be paying the

00:32:51.040 bills and providing

00:32:51.960 your family with a

00:32:53.020 nice house and an

00:32:54.500 education and all that

00:32:56.100 type of stuff but I

00:32:57.020 think you should always

00:32:58.040 have a little rock in

00:32:58.940 your shoe about where

00:32:59.720 you should be in your

00:33:00.340 life and always be

00:33:01.220 trying to improve so I'm

00:33:03.260 part of that tribe of

00:33:04.200 guys who are experiencing

00:33:05.260 mediocrity every day or

00:33:06.700 I should have done my

00:33:07.720 workout earlier I should

00:33:08.860 have done this I should

00:33:09.780 have repaired that I

00:33:11.260 should have read this

00:33:12.060 book that is what you

00:33:13.160 need to do but the deal

00:33:15.180 with people that listen

00:33:16.460 to me speak is they

00:33:17.400 want to know how to get

00:33:18.220 started they want to

00:33:19.020 know you know what

00:33:20.060 kind of workout should

00:33:20.860 I do to do this and

00:33:21.940 how did you get

00:33:23.040 started well it's

00:33:23.860 organic it just happens

00:33:25.160 but the number one

00:33:26.080 thing is you have to

00:33:26.880 take action it's very

00:33:28.800 easy and taking no

00:33:30.600 action gives you an

00:33:31.600 immediate reward let

00:33:33.140 me explain so so I

00:33:35.200 got up at 3 30 this

00:33:36.320 morning to go to work

00:33:37.160 so obviously when I

00:33:38.200 came home I had to

00:33:39.700 take a nap but

00:33:40.560 believe it or not

00:33:41.220 before work this

00:33:42.000 morning I went to the

00:33:42.760 gym because I wanted 0.95

00:33:44.900 to get that workout

00:33:45.760 out of the way so that

00:33:46.720 it wasn't hanging over

00:33:47.580 me the rest of the

00:33:48.320 day sort of a Jocko

00:33:49.340 Willink type philosophy

00:33:50.400 I believe and you

00:33:52.780 would have an immediate

00:33:54.260 reward if you decide

00:33:55.340 to lay in that bed and

00:33:56.160 hit snooze on your

00:33:57.000 alarm on your iPhone

00:33:57.940 and just have a second

00:33:59.840 alarm set that's two

00:34:00.880 hours later you get an

00:34:02.340 immediate reward and

00:34:03.780 the reward is sleep

00:34:05.280 comfort warmth under

00:34:06.780 that comforter and

00:34:08.420 it's absolutely

00:34:09.380 immediate but the

00:34:10.300 things that are the

00:34:11.260 most rewarding in life

00:34:12.440 are the rewards you

00:34:13.580 get from a delayed

00:34:14.700 activation of that

00:34:15.700 meaning that going to 0.99

00:34:17.000 the gym sucks getting 0.96

00:34:18.240 out of the bed in 0.99

00:34:18.780 that morning running

00:34:19.800 down to the gym at

00:34:20.660 minus five degrees

00:34:21.580 here but the reward

00:34:23.860 I'm going to get is

00:34:24.580 going to be it's going

00:34:25.240 to come later so

00:34:26.280 action will give you

00:34:27.880 a reward that's far

00:34:29.020 better than the

00:34:29.700 immediate reward of

00:34:30.600 not doing something so

00:34:31.920 it's so important that

00:34:33.880 people take that step

00:34:35.080 no matter what it is

00:34:36.220 you know whether it's

00:34:37.460 starting a podcast

00:34:38.240 that's a tough thing to

00:34:39.480 decide to do but no

00:34:41.200 matter what you listen

00:34:42.140 to if you listen to

00:34:42.960 any interviews on

00:34:43.800 people starting podcasts

00:34:44.920 the number one

00:34:46.040 recommendation they

00:34:47.040 make is just make a

00:34:48.680 podcast 100% that's

00:34:50.780 how it is with

00:34:51.200 adventure that's how

00:34:51.960 it is with fitness

00:34:52.640 that's how it is with

00:34:53.400 going on a trip that's

00:34:54.520 how it is with going to

00:34:55.820 the airport and going

00:34:56.600 somewhere you just have

00:34:57.960 to do it and thinking

00:35:00.000 about it and studying it

00:35:01.440 is no substitute for

00:35:02.900 that action portion of

00:35:04.420 it obviously you have to

00:35:05.280 be prepared so but you

00:35:06.940 have to pull the trigger

00:35:07.860 sometime and life is

00:35:10.020 damn short so I mean it

00:35:12.600 is so incredibly short you 0.98

00:35:14.660 have to take advantage of

00:35:15.860 things now I mean it's

00:35:17.760 that old Mark Twain

00:35:18.560 saying right 20 years

00:35:19.620 from now you'll be more

00:35:20.500 disappointed by the

00:35:21.340 things you didn't do

00:35:22.220 than by the ones you

00:35:23.040 did do and you have to

00:35:25.440 keep those cliches and

00:35:27.300 those quotes in mind all

00:35:28.540 the time so action move

00:35:30.660 unzip that tent shove

00:35:32.040 off get going here's the

00:35:34.100 interesting thing is I

00:35:35.260 think we'd like to come

00:35:36.300 up with a lot of excuses

00:35:37.340 as to why we can't or why

00:35:39.540 we're not going to get

00:35:40.520 started but at the end

00:35:41.920 of the day I mean an

00:35:42.660 adventure is not really

00:35:43.600 that difficult from

00:35:44.720 getting off the couch

00:35:46.060 and going on a hike

00:35:47.500 or signing up for a

00:35:49.200 Spartan race and all of 0.99

00:35:50.320 these low barrier type

00:35:51.460 things that we can engage

00:35:52.520 in to develop the habit

00:35:54.080 of doing of acting of

00:35:56.540 getting out there and

00:35:57.320 then of course we

00:35:58.000 develop and grow and

00:35:58.920 expand from there but

00:36:00.100 like you said it's just

00:36:00.840 a matter of starting

00:36:01.660 something anything

00:36:02.700 different than what

00:36:03.460 you're doing right now

00:36:04.240 yeah you just have to

00:36:05.560 do something different

00:36:06.480 you have to experiment

00:36:07.740 right I read an article

00:36:09.280 in the New York Times

00:36:10.200 the other day about old

00:36:11.280 habits you know people

00:36:12.160 stay stuck in their 0.53

00:36:13.100 habit and the quote was

00:36:14.360 that experimentation is

00:36:15.500 an act of humility

00:36:16.360 meaning that you're

00:36:17.780 experimenting because

00:36:19.020 you're telling yourself

00:36:19.960 that you don't really

00:36:20.940 know what it's like

00:36:21.840 an acknowledgement that

00:36:22.900 you simply just don't

00:36:24.840 know what it means to

00:36:26.320 try something new

00:36:27.220 meaning whether that

00:36:28.480 means a Spartan race

00:36:29.440 like you said whether

00:36:30.300 that means going to a

00:36:31.300 presentation about

00:36:32.200 somebody who's climbed

00:36:33.060 Everest or somebody

00:36:33.920 who's talking about

00:36:34.620 philosophy but that's how

00:36:37.100 you break out of these

00:36:38.060 old habits is you admit

00:36:39.200 to yourself that you

00:36:40.040 don't know you admit

00:36:40.840 yourself that you have

00:36:42.200 to experiment and try

00:36:43.480 things and and I go

00:36:44.820 back again to this

00:36:45.820 discomfort meet new

00:36:47.020 people and you know

00:36:49.640 people listening to me

00:36:50.760 to speak always talk

00:36:51.740 about the fact that

00:36:52.500 it's crazy you're

00:36:53.580 suicidal to row across

00:36:54.960 the ocean below and 1.00

00:36:55.660 you're you're nuts to 0.99

00:36:56.820 climb Everest without 1.00

00:36:58.100 oxygen but all of us

00:36:59.980 are so darn certain of

00:37:02.260 dangers even though we

00:37:04.340 don't know anything about

00:37:05.440 it it's we're experts on

00:37:06.860 it we're expert on the

00:37:07.780 fact that people are

00:37:08.660 going to die rowing

00:37:09.480 across an ocean below

00:37:10.300 we're expert on the

00:37:11.140 fact that there's no

00:37:12.320 way climbing Everest

00:37:13.320 without oxygen is a

00:37:14.160 good idea but we've

00:37:15.140 never done it and we

00:37:16.140 don't know and I find

00:37:17.460 that really interesting

00:37:18.700 it's obviously a

00:37:19.500 survival mechanism

00:37:20.360 because doing these

00:37:21.740 things is not something

00:37:23.580 that that Darwin would

00:37:24.900 approve of so to speak

00:37:26.060 but it's it's so

00:37:27.220 important that we break

00:37:28.240 old habits and that we

00:37:29.160 experiment and that

00:37:30.080 means experimenting

00:37:30.800 getting up early in the

00:37:31.780 morning that means

00:37:32.380 experimenting doing a

00:37:33.380 workout that type of

00:37:34.400 thing these are the

00:37:35.540 cognitive distortions

00:37:36.940 that all of us deal

00:37:37.820 with and we have a

00:37:38.840 tendency to make

00:37:39.520 things grander than

00:37:40.480 they really are and

00:37:41.720 more dangerous and

00:37:43.040 yes more life

00:37:43.920 threatening than they

00:37:44.820 probably will be it's

00:37:46.000 an amazing talent that

00:37:46.940 we have for staying

00:37:47.600 alive but it does

00:37:48.320 nothing to build up

00:37:50.020 resiliency and

00:37:50.880 toughness yeah we

00:37:52.140 have to have that

00:37:52.720 imagination we have to

00:37:53.800 know that if if we go

00:37:55.260 down that that valley

00:37:56.720 in the in the savannah

00:37:58.000 50,000 years ago that

00:37:59.880 we there's a really good

00:38:00.760 chance there'll be

00:38:01.300 leopards there and

00:38:02.880 going around it might be 0.70

00:38:04.000 safer but it might be

00:38:05.080 three times as long and

00:38:06.380 our imagination will

00:38:07.640 obviously picture us

00:38:09.460 being torn to pieces

00:38:10.360 by a leopard and

00:38:11.860 that's what keeps us

00:38:12.720 alive so it's it's a

00:38:14.100 survival mechanism but

00:38:15.160 you can obviously if

00:38:16.840 you're aware of that

00:38:17.420 you can work around

00:38:18.240 that you can hack it so

00:38:19.500 to speak and get

00:38:20.140 around it

00:38:20.640 level as we wind down

00:38:22.380 on time here I want to

00:38:23.500 ask you a couple

00:38:24.080 additional questions the

00:38:25.240 first one is what does

00:38:26.580 it mean to be a man

00:38:27.600 I think I touched on it

00:38:29.180 earlier Ryan for me it

00:38:30.780 means always accepting

00:38:31.800 the fact that you don't

00:38:32.580 know it all that you

00:38:34.180 need to learn you need

00:38:35.440 to strive to be

00:38:36.360 better it's about

00:38:38.240 keeping commitments

00:38:39.360 and promises and in a

00:38:41.080 family sense that's what

00:38:42.060 I'm really aiming at

00:38:43.060 here is that we lost

00:38:44.820 our oldest son he was a

00:38:46.660 young pilot just starting

00:38:48.020 up in a company up in

00:38:49.520 the northwest territories

00:38:50.520 which is the Canadian

00:38:51.820 Arctic and he went for

00:38:53.560 a canoe one night with

00:38:54.460 a pretty girl and 20

00:38:55.860 meters from shore the

00:38:56.720 canoe flipped and she 1.00

00:38:58.320 elected to swim to shore

00:38:59.420 and he decided to stay

00:39:00.300 with the boat and this

00:39:01.260 is on the second largest

00:39:02.140 river in North America

00:39:03.100 the Mackenzie River and

00:39:04.180 Richard our son disappeared

00:39:06.580 and drowned and they

00:39:09.460 recovered him eight days

00:39:10.380 later and that was

00:39:11.960 simply a reinforcement of

00:39:14.540 the fact that that life is

00:39:16.700 short but it gave us as a

00:39:19.520 family a you know a new

00:39:21.540 wisdom on death and a new

00:39:23.080 wisdom on on looking back

00:39:25.060 at mistakes and things that

00:39:26.780 I probably would have done

00:39:27.800 differently and I think that

00:39:30.300 goes back to what I'm saying

00:39:31.520 is that you have to always

00:39:32.640 learn and you have to

00:39:33.960 always pick yourself up

00:39:35.160 when something goes wrong

00:39:36.860 and one thing I'd say that

00:39:38.280 as a as a man in a family

00:39:40.240 and men are not always the

00:39:42.320 leaders of the family and

00:39:43.360 not at all I mean the wife

00:39:45.200 or the mother can be the

00:39:46.240 leader but I really think

00:39:47.620 it's important in my opinion

00:39:49.000 that you are a leader with

00:39:51.440 the family and that doesn't

00:39:53.300 mean that in a military sense

00:39:54.780 that means that if something

00:39:55.620 goes wrong that you take a

00:39:56.800 leadership role just like I do

00:39:58.100 as an airline captain I never

00:39:59.380 let anybody see me crack and

00:40:01.500 that that I protect the

00:40:03.000 family at all costs and so

00:40:04.980 when Richard died I I took

00:40:06.980 the phone call from the RCMP

00:40:08.680 or the Royal Canadian

00:40:10.060 Mounted Police and that night

00:40:11.580 I was sleeping in our

00:40:12.440 youngest son's bed and Janet

00:40:13.860 had our youngest son in our

00:40:15.840 bed and I literally I took

00:40:18.100 the call and I was 2 30 in

00:40:19.400 the morning I sat there till

00:40:20.520 2 45 and I just ran through

00:40:23.280 what I needed to do to come

00:40:24.740 out of this healthy as a

00:40:25.680 family and I think believe it

00:40:28.860 or not at in my 40s I

00:40:30.720 discovered what it really is

00:40:31.880 to be to be a man and a

00:40:34.040 father when you go through

00:40:34.860 something like that because

00:40:36.060 we as a family Janet and I

00:40:38.700 very deliberately went through

00:40:39.920 a process of telling

00:40:41.300 ourselves that we're going to

00:40:42.280 survive this and come out of

00:40:43.400 this changed saddened but not

00:40:46.880 destroyed by losing our son and

00:40:48.500 we went through a process of

00:40:49.940 basically a checklist of what

00:40:51.860 we had to do to get through

00:40:52.920 this and it it changes you and

00:40:56.160 it's I think it's when I

00:40:57.360 really discover what it what

00:40:58.460 it means to be in my case a

00:41:00.180 father and and a man it came

00:41:02.940 at an incredible cost but it

00:41:05.840 is something that I would

00:41:08.400 never want to do again ever and

00:41:10.220 it's it's it's highly not

00:41:12.000 recommended but even in this in

00:41:14.540 the worst tragedy you can come

00:41:16.080 out of there with a little bit

00:41:16.920 of wisdom and I think we have

00:41:19.040 first and foremost I want to say

00:41:20.880 that I am sorry for your loss I

00:41:22.580 can't even begin to imagine what

00:41:23.920 that's like but I do have to

00:41:25.120 say that I admire and respect

00:41:27.420 your perspective on it and how

00:41:29.420 you've taken a situation that I

00:41:30.840 again can't even imagine and

00:41:32.040 turn that into a force in a way

00:41:34.280 for good and changing yourself

00:41:35.560 and your family and and I'm sure

00:41:37.540 thousands of people that you're

00:41:38.680 impacting as well so I do

00:41:39.940 appreciate that of you how do we

00:41:42.040 connect with you how do we learn

00:41:43.340 more about what you're doing I

00:41:44.740 know you do a lot of public

00:41:45.700 speaking and you talk about the

00:41:46.840 adventures that you've been on

00:41:47.860 and the hardships that you've

00:41:48.760 overcome how do we find out

00:41:50.200 more sure you can go to my

00:41:51.780 website and it's just lavalstgermain.com

00:41:54.660 and it's l-a-v-a-l-s-t-g-e-r-m-a-i-n 1.00

00:42:00.660 dot com or at lavalstgermain so just

00:42:04.580 like that at twitter at lavalstgermain

00:42:06.860 and on instagram at lavalstgermain

00:42:08.940 and then of course you can search me

00:42:10.180 up on on facebook and yeah I love

00:42:14.160 sharing the stories I mean I've got

00:42:16.400 some really unusual ones from skiing

00:42:18.060 across landmines in northern Iraq to

00:42:20.240 row in an ocean or cycling in the

00:42:22.640 middle of an arctic winter so it's

00:42:24.280 it's an interesting life I'm very

00:42:26.260 fortunate to have led it and I love

00:42:27.580 sharing my story right on well I

00:42:29.380 look forward to connecting more with

00:42:30.800 you learning more about what you're

00:42:31.880 doing and of course hearing all the

00:42:32.960 stories that we weren't able to get

00:42:34.060 to so laval I've got to tell you I

00:42:35.960 appreciate the way that you show up

00:42:37.400 it's inspiring to have somebody like

00:42:39.020 you come on the show talk about what

00:42:40.540 you're up to and the way that you

00:42:41.620 live life is definitely a motivation

00:42:44.320 for me to think about living my life

00:42:46.100 on bigger terms and taking part in

00:42:48.300 more adventures so thanks for joining

00:42:49.940 us and thanks for imparting some of

00:42:51.460 your wisdom today thanks for having me

00:42:53.360 on Ryan I've really enjoyed it and

00:42:54.900 yeah let's stay in touch

00:42:55.940 gentlemen there it is mr laval st

00:42:59.620 germain I hope that you are walking

00:43:01.360 away with as much information and

00:43:03.900 inspiration as I did when we had the

00:43:06.460 conversation I told you about the

00:43:08.460 story with his son and how heart

00:43:10.440 wrenching that was but again his

00:43:11.680 perspective was amazing to me and how

00:43:15.300 he's able to take that experience

00:43:17.240 which is a horrific and horrible

00:43:18.680 experience and turn it into frankly

00:43:20.780 something that's very positive in his

00:43:22.240 life and becoming a new and a better

00:43:24.620 man so guys if you are interested in

00:43:26.940 getting the show notes you can head to

00:43:28.320 order of man dot com slash one four six

00:43:30.860 order of man dot com slash one four six

00:43:33.300 and then as always make sure you share

00:43:34.900 with us on Twitter or Instagram or

00:43:36.640 Facebook wherever you are let us know

00:43:38.720 what you thought of the show and how you

00:43:40.300 are going to be improving your life

00:43:42.140 because you listened in what you're

00:43:43.520 going to be doing differently in the

00:43:45.220 meantime I wanted to mention again I

00:43:47.440 know you're probably getting sick

00:43:48.540 hearing this but trust me it's coming

00:43:50.020 up quick I won't be talking about a

00:43:51.820 much longer our meetup slash book

00:43:54.120 launch party in Nashville January 26 27

00:43:56.740 2018 you can go to order of man dot com

00:44:00.360 slash Nashville order of man dot com

00:44:02.860 slash Nashville to get registered and

00:44:04.800 then of course if you are a member of

00:44:06.200 the Iron Council you're going to get

00:44:07.940 that free half day event a day early

00:44:10.180 and band with me and the other that

00:44:12.380 probably going to be 20 to 25 maybe

00:44:13.960 even 30 Iron Council members there so

00:44:16.240 if you are interested in the Iron

00:44:17.580 Council it's order of man dot com slash

00:44:19.720 Iron Council guys with that said I

00:44:22.500 will look forward to talking with you

00:44:23.760 on Friday for our Friday field notes

00:44:25.360 but until then take action and become

00:44:27.460 the man you are meant to be thank you

00:44:30.680 for listening to the order of man

00:44:32.080 podcast you're ready to take charge of

00:44:34.360 your life to be more of the man you

00:44:36.120 were meant to be we invite you to

00:44:37.940 join the order and order of man dot com

00:44:40.380 you

00:44:41.800 you

00:44:43.800 you

00:44:45.800 you

00:44:47.800 you

00:44:49.800 you

00:44:51.800 you

00:44:53.800 you

00:44:55.800 you

00:44:59.800 you

00:45:01.800 you

Order of Man - January 02, 2018

146： A Life of Adventure ｜ Laval St. Germain

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