Order of Man - 150： Own the Dash ｜ Dakota Meyer

00:00:00.000 There are two days you have control over the day you're born and the day you die.

00:00:04.240 Every other day in life represents an opportunity to choose how you decide to live it. My guest

00:00:08.640 today, Dakota Meyer calls this own the dash. The dash is all the days between your date of birth

00:00:13.900 and your date of death. Dakota Meyer is a retired Marine and the recipient of the highest military

00:00:19.900 honor one could earn the medal of honor. Today, we talk about how he views the events that earned

00:00:24.580 him that recognition, overcoming an attempted suicide, how he has redefined himself through

00:00:29.240 living in the service of others and how he owns the dash. You're a man of action. You live life to

00:00:34.200 the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path. When life knocks you down, you get

00:00:39.600 back up one more time. Every time. You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong.

00:00:47.460 This is your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day,

00:00:52.900 and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man. Gentlemen, what is going on today?

00:00:58.280 My name is Ryan Mickler and I am the host and the founder of this podcast, the order of man. I am so

00:01:03.340 glad that you're here with us today. We have got so much going on. If you are listening to this show,

00:01:09.140 the day it is being released in two days, just two days, one of the most exciting days of my life

00:01:14.320 will be the release of my first book, sovereignty, the battle for the hearts and minds of men. So if

00:01:20.500 you would, and if you're interested and you haven't done so already, you need to head to order of man.com

00:01:24.960 slash book order of man.com slash book. You can do that in the next two days and download the

00:01:30.640 introductory chapter for free. Outside of that, if you are interested in buying the book, you can

00:01:34.720 use that same link order of man.com slash book. I can't even begin to describe how exciting it is

00:01:41.380 and all the emotions that go into pouring your heart and soul and mind and everything else into

00:01:47.140 the writing of a book. And then of course, putting it out into the public for you, for you to see,

00:01:52.300 hopefully it will improve your life. So exciting times ahead. Outside of that, we just wrapped up

00:01:57.560 our meetup in Nashville. A lot of you guys were there. It was an amazing, amazing event. We had

00:02:02.500 so many great speakers and of course the brotherhood and the camaraderie and just the ability to rub

00:02:07.800 shoulders with other guys who are on the same journey. If you weren't able to make it, I know a

00:02:12.080 lot of you guys wanted to come and I hope that you can make it to a future event. We're going to be

00:02:16.000 getting you the dates on future events because we're going to start ramping up on more of these

00:02:20.160 meetups because it did go over so well. So be able to look out for that. Those will be available

00:02:24.980 soon. And then outside of that, we've got our exclusive brotherhood, the iron council. I know

00:02:30.420 I haven't talked about this a whole lot just because we've had so much going on over the past couple of

00:02:35.080 months, but this is a digital band of brothers, but we've taken a lot of what we're doing online and

00:02:39.480 we've actually taken it offline as we have put together some regional meetups for guys inside of

00:02:47.060 the iron council. I'm not going to get into a lot of detail on that today because we do have so much

00:02:51.700 going on, but if you're interested in learning more, uh, you can head to order of man.com slash

00:02:56.260 iron council. That's a lot. Of course, we've got a lot going on, like I said before, but I would just

00:03:00.880 want to make sure I give you all of the resources for those of you who are new guys. This is a show

00:03:05.320 about becoming a better man. It's not necessarily about all of the information, although that's

00:03:09.640 important. It's about the application. And so all of the tools and the resources that we're

00:03:13.520 providing to you are about taking the information that we learn here through our guests, amazing,

00:03:19.040 amazing guests. And today is no different. And then using that information to apply it and enhance

00:03:24.320 our lives and the lives of the people we care about. So with that said, guys, I have got an

00:03:28.580 amazing guest today. This has got to be one of my favorite episodes to date. His name is Dakota Meyer.

00:03:35.240 He's a Marine. I mentioned earlier, he is also a medal of honor recipient. He's a New York times,

00:03:40.200 bestselling author. He's a business owner, probably one of the most humble men that I've

00:03:45.120 had the privilege of meeting in 2009. He and his squad were ambushed by Taliban insurgents in

00:03:51.200 Afghanistan. He learned that some of his team members were missing. So he went back to find them

00:03:55.780 and in the process rescued 12 wounded and provided cover for another 24 Marines and soldiers. I was

00:04:02.720 absolutely blown away with his perspective on those events. I don't want to ruin the surprise and I won't

00:04:08.680 do that, but this was not what I expected. And of course the subsequent depression, a failed

00:04:13.740 suicide attempt that followed. But since then he has gone on to found a successful construction

00:04:18.240 company and has now dedicated himself to serving others and allowing others to use his platform

00:04:24.020 to share messages of inspiration across this nation. So guys, sit back, buckle up. Dakota is one of the

00:04:30.240 most real humans I've ever met as he shares some of his personal stories, both good and bad

00:04:36.280 that have made him who he is today. Dakota, what's up, man? Thanks for joining me on the

00:04:41.380 show today. Hey, what's going on? Excited to have you on. I know we've bounced around a little bit,

00:04:45.560 but we finally made this work. So life is busy though for you, it seems like. Yeah, no, man. I mean,

00:04:49.840 all over the place, you know, it's hard to get an hour together, you know? It is for sure. How's the

00:04:54.080 new podcast going? Cause you've got the new podcast, own the dash. How's that coming along? Yeah. So

00:04:57.920 it's owning it with Dakota Meyer. You know, I launched it nine weeks ago, so it seems like it's doing

00:05:02.400 pretty good. You know, I was so against it. I've been so against podcasts, YouTube. I don't know.

00:05:07.560 I just, I don't know why it's just one of those things. I'm just, I don't know. It's like a mind

00:05:11.820 block for me. And I started it and everybody, you know, they talked me into it. Uh, actually what

00:05:16.260 got me started was I was on a Facebook live and I said, uh, if you guys want me to start a podcast,

00:05:21.520 if I get a, I think it was like a hundred or 200 comments that says start a podcast, I'll start one.

00:05:26.740 And I got it. So I had to turn around and start one. So I thought like, Oh man, I didn't,

00:05:30.460 I didn't really want to do that, but now I'm committed to doing that. Right. Yeah. So I did

00:05:34.160 it, but you know what I found out is I really enjoy it. You know, and I tell you what's really

00:05:37.280 got me is the impact. You know, I never really sit down and thought about it until I was, I was

00:05:41.940 talking to some other big podcasters and they're like, you know, you, you know, you got to think

00:05:46.400 about it. Like people sit there and they listen to you for an hour, like you're riding in people's

00:05:51.780 cars for an hour. And it was like, golly. I mean, you know, I know how important an hour of my day is

00:05:57.880 and to think that people would take an hour out of their day to listen to what I have to say or

00:06:02.920 what I bring to the table. It's just so, it's so, I mean, it just blew me away. The thought of it.

00:06:08.100 I got that probably about four weeks in and I was just doing it like just as reps, like, okay,

00:06:12.360 I'm going to get this. I'm going to do it. Cause I'm doing it because I said I was going to do it.

00:06:15.480 And then it kind of switched for me to do it because it's like, golly, if people are going to give me

00:06:20.200 their hour, I'm going to give them everything I got. And so I love it. I mean, I've had a lot of big

00:06:24.220 guests on Tim Kennedy, uh, Shane Steiner, who's country music singer, you know, a businessman.

00:06:29.920 I mean, just a great at a lot of things. And then, you know, you take Aubrey Marcus, you take,

00:06:34.580 you know, uh, Jocko's going to come on, you know, I mean, you, you just, you know,

00:06:38.680 I think you're going on a Jocko's podcast too, right?

00:06:40.880 I am. I am. I'm going to go on Jocko's podcast the first week of February. So,

00:06:45.260 you know, just to be able to do this and be able to be, I mean, and just like, you know,

00:06:48.220 just like you, I mean, having me on, I mean, it's just like, I don't know. It's awesome, man.

00:06:51.680 It's just cool. I like how you reached, I think you reached out to Jocko on Twitter, right?

00:06:56.280 I did. You said, Hey, how do I get on your show? I did. You know, I like, I look up to Jocko.

00:07:00.580 He's got one video that's really hit home and I probably watch it twice a day.

00:07:05.700 Which one is that? It's the one where he says good.

00:07:08.380 Oh yeah. It's a great, it's a great message. It's such a great, it's so simple too. Like,

00:07:12.660 it's not one of these complicated things. Well, you know, your brain works this way. And if you think

00:07:16.360 about it this way and you change your thinking in the worst moments of your time, it's like, 0.99

00:07:19.720 Oh no, it's no bullshit. Like, it's like, just say good. You know? Yeah. It is incredible, 0.83

00:07:24.660 you know? So, you know, it's awesome. I mean, it's awesome to be part of this community and then

00:07:27.820 to see how people are actually using it. Right. I mean, how cool is that? I mean,

00:07:31.280 how cool is it? I mean, do you sit there and think about that? I mean, how cool is it that people are

00:07:34.400 like, I'm going to give you an hour of my day? It's unreal. And it's unreal when you get a message

00:07:39.040 and somebody says how the work impacted them, or you see somebody in the airport and you're like,

00:07:44.420 Hey man, I listened to your podcast. That to me is just wild. That's, I mean,

00:07:47.780 like, I don't get paid to do my podcast. Right. And that's what makes it worth it is just hearing

00:07:53.360 people write you. I mean, the messages and just saying, you know, man, you're, you know,

00:07:58.040 you're really changing my life. It's like, Holy shit, you're changing mine. Like it's, you know, 0.99

00:08:02.960 it's kind of like this mutual deal, right? Interesting. Yeah. As much as they think that

00:08:06.300 you're changing their life, like they're really changing yours. You seem to be a pretty humble dude.

00:08:11.240 Do you think that has to do with why putting yourself out there in the podcast and YouTube

00:08:16.120 and all these other channels was somewhat of a challenge for you initially?

00:08:19.060 Yeah. I mean, like, I just, like, I have this mind block that like, why would anybody want to

00:08:22.900 listen to me? I don't really have anything to offer. I mean, I'm not, I'm not the smartest guy

00:08:27.620 ever. Right. I mean, you know, I just, I don't think like I look in the mirror and I don't see

00:08:31.340 anything to offer, you know what I mean? And that, but, but what I did realize was, and it took me this

00:08:35.880 long to do it. Right. I mean, from, I got the medal of honor in 2011 and I fought it for a long time.

00:08:41.240 It just, you know, everybody's like, Oh, well you have a platform. You have a platform. And,

00:08:45.100 and I just, no, I don't know. I don't, I just, I don't want to, I don't want the platform. So I

00:08:48.360 kept saying. Right. And so what I wanted to do is like, I go around and I see all these incredible

00:08:52.180 people, man. I see all these, these incredible people like that, that'll never have a platform

00:08:56.620 that are way better than I could ever be. Right. I mean, it just are incredible people. So I was like,

00:09:01.100 you know what I want to do? What I want to do is, is I want to take people who never have a 1.00

00:09:06.060 platform and I'm going to give them my platform by a podcast and talk about their story.

00:09:10.320 And that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to go around America and I'm going to give all these

00:09:14.220 incredible people who are out living their life and who are out, who are out making their world a

00:09:19.180 better place, just the world around them a better place. And I'm going to go give them the platform

00:09:23.140 who will never have the platform. And I'm going to go show how great they are because no politicians

00:09:27.780 ever going to make America great again. Nobody in power. There's not going to be a, you know,

00:09:32.660 there's never going to be anybody like that. That's going to make America great again.

00:09:36.540 America's already great. And I'm going to go show the world why America is great by showing all

00:09:40.580 these incredible people that make up America. That's powerful, man. So this idea, notion of

00:09:45.760 service, like how can I help other people from the podcast to the actions that earned you the medal

00:09:52.040 of honor? Is this something that you've learned? Is this something that you have developed or were

00:09:57.020 you born with this heart of service? Walk me around that a little bit.

00:10:00.080 No, you know, I mean, I actually had the same conversation, man, this morning, like right before

00:10:04.380 we had this, me and my camera guy, he was kind of asking me the same thing. And I will say that I

00:10:09.500 think that something instilled in me to always want to help the underdog, right? Because I mean,

00:10:14.260 I was the underdog. I was never the fastest. I was never the smartest. I never looked the best. I was

00:10:19.500 never the best in shape. I just I had heart, right? And that's what my dad taught me. I always

00:10:24.620 realized what I was. But I'm going to use that, right? I'm going to use what I am like, I'm not

00:10:30.680 the best. So I think that's what part of it was. But the other piece of it is, I mean, I can remember

00:10:35.240 at 17 or 16 or 17 years old, I have my driver's license. And I remember driving down the road,

00:10:39.640 I can tell you exactly where it was at. It was in Campbellsville, Kentucky, right across from the

00:10:43.540 McDonald's over there. There's now a gas station on the right. And there's like this little apartment

00:10:47.220 complex on the left over there. And I had left McDonald's that morning, you usually cruise the strip over

00:10:51.640 there. And I seen this older guy beating up this woman. I was 16. And I pulled my trailblazer over

00:10:58.880 for 1717. I had my trailblazer. So 17. I pulled my trailblazer over and I got out and I beat the

00:11:04.520 shit out of this guy. Really? Some 30 or 40 year old man, right? I mean, because I seen him slam his 0.99

00:11:10.240 girlfriend or wife or what I didn't get out and ask me a question off the hood of the car. And I just

00:11:15.900 pulled my car over. I remember pulling in there and I just got out. And I mean, I just I just bought this

00:11:20.020 guy. So I think there was always that piece of it in me, right? I hate seeing people suffer. But

00:11:24.760 I tell you the point that really changed it. Because when I got in the Marine Corps, I was

00:11:28.240 a cocky. I was a cocky guy. Listen, I lived my craft, right? I mean, I lived it. I loved it. I

00:11:34.180 owned it. I wanted to be the best. And you know, I mean, I was a team leader and I'd accomplished quite

00:11:38.480 a bit. And they train that into you as well, though, too. Yeah, I think it's instilled in you,

00:11:43.320 right? I mean, you're around, but you're around a bunch of alpha males, right? I mean,

00:11:45.960 you're around a bunch of people who just, you know, just, you know, they clash each other. And if

00:11:49.560 you're not, if you come out one day and you even act halfway weak, you know, you're going to get 0.98

00:11:53.540 the sick chick gets pecked, right? Yeah. So, you know, and you have to have that mentality to instill 1.00

00:11:59.160 that confidence in a bunch of more, a bunch of alpha males, right? And so I think it's part of the

00:12:03.880 mindset. But, you know, even in Afghanistan, this is how dumb I was. I mean, I'm gonna, I'm gonna 0.99

00:12:08.440 really show myself here is I went into that valley on September 8, 2009 that day, man, I really

00:12:14.800 thought, I really thought and believed that there's no situation I couldn't handle. Like,

00:12:19.360 I never thought if I was going to be there, I could fix it is what I, is what I felt like,

00:12:24.220 right? You know, I go in there and then I come out at the end of the day, everything that I cared

00:12:30.660 about, everything that I loved was taken away from me in one day, everything. How so?

00:12:37.340 You know, everything I cared about. I mean, I let my guys down, my honor, my commitment,

00:12:41.300 my loyalty to my teammates, you know, letting them down and them dying and coming out, no

00:12:46.160 team. I mean, everything that I cared about was gone that day. I mean, I lost, I got my

00:12:50.780 ass kicked. I just remember telling myself, I'm going to live the rest of my life to make 0.99

00:12:55.700 other people happy. And that's where I'm going to get my satisfaction is if I can just make

00:13:01.160 somebody's life better by giving them a compliment. I can remember finding my teammates. I mean,

00:13:05.840 I didn't physically die that day with them, but that Dakota Meyer died right there. And

00:13:11.380 I've just committed my life to trying to make the world a better place. Like I just, that's all I

00:13:16.300 want to do. That's all I want to do. I just want to make the world a better place. You know, people

00:13:19.880 ask me all the time, what are you going to, so what's your goals in life? I want to change the

00:13:23.220 world. And I tell everybody that works for me. I mean, I can, I can bring my, I can bring my,

00:13:27.820 my camera guy over here right now, everybody that works for me. I say one thing to them.

00:13:32.500 So my goal is to change the world. And if that's too big for you to believe in,

00:13:36.460 then you don't need to be on my team. Hmm. How have you changed after the military? I mean,

00:13:40.720 what specifically has changed? It sounds like a lot of your mindset. And I look, man, from the

00:13:44.820 outside looking in, and the way that I understand it is that you rescued 12 people from that valley.

00:13:49.800 But the way I hear you say it is that you let those guys down. Yeah. I mean, you know, you,

00:13:54.060 I know people say, well, you know, that's the glass half empty mindset, but it's not, I mean,

00:13:58.860 I think you have to own your failures too, right? I mean, you can't,

00:14:02.180 listen, at the end of the day, I went back to a, an outpost and I walked into a room. I mean,

00:14:07.460 literally the room, the house that we lived in on that outpost, I walked in and every guy that

00:14:12.300 slept in that same room and every guy that came over with me and every guy that lived on that and

00:14:16.860 ate and drank and then went on every mission with me. I walked in that room. I walked out of it on

00:14:22.400 Monday and I walked back into it on Wednesday and I was packing up every other guy that slept in that

00:14:28.380 room's stuff to send home to their family. And so, I mean, I did fail, you know, you can't,

00:14:33.900 you know, people say, oh, well, you didn't fail. You didn't this. No, I did. I went in with an

00:14:37.460 objective to get my teammates out. My teammates were expecting me to get them out. None of them

00:14:42.340 made it home. And so that's a failure. You know, you have to own that. You have to learn it. And I

00:14:47.080 tell people all the time, you're going to get tested one day, no matter, no matter what, you're going to

00:14:50.780 be tested. You don't know where it's going to be at. It could be at the next concert. It could be the

00:14:54.380 next red light. It could be the next shopping center. It could be the next mall. It could be

00:14:58.980 hell. Who knows? It could be at the gym. Who knows? But you're going to be tested. And whether

00:15:02.980 you succeed or fail, the decision's already made when that moment happens. It's going to be all

00:15:08.580 those decisions, those millions of decisions that were made up to that point. And I got tested and

00:15:13.060 I failed. And that's just part of it, you know, and I have to own that and I have to accept it.

00:15:17.300 But I think that it's changed me to be a better person, to give more than I take. And it gave me a

00:15:23.400 mindset to, Hey, you know what? Like, I just want to stop worrying about Dakota and I just want to

00:15:28.360 worry about everybody else around me. Yeah. I mean, that's cool. Cause I look at a lot of guys

00:15:32.580 who have an experience, maybe not as drastic or dramatic as that, but have an experience and use

00:15:38.080 it as a opportunity or an excuse to implode, right. To self-destruct. And it sounds like you've

00:15:43.800 taken the exact opposite route and used it as an opportunity to thrive and help others thrive.

00:15:48.620 Well, I do. I mean, I've self-destructed. I mean, I've been down that road, you know,

00:15:51.640 and I've been down it and I just, I have to understand that I'm not, when I go down that

00:15:56.500 road, I have to understand that I'm not living a life worthy of what those guys would have wanted

00:16:00.780 me to, you know, I answer to that. And, and I agree with you. I mean, look, you have an option,

00:16:05.460 whether you succeed or you fail, it's all just a moment in time. A win lasts no longer than a loss does.

00:16:13.380 It just lasts to the next, to the next test. Right. I mean, that's, that's it. I think that the people who,

00:16:18.840 you know, who use it as an excuse, they choose to do that. They choose to become the victim.

00:16:23.940 And I think that the day you become the victim is the day that you allow yourself to become the

00:16:28.320 victim. And it's because you made that choice to become the victim. How did you turn yourself from

00:16:33.580 a victim after this experience into somebody who owns his life and you've got own the dash and

00:16:39.220 owning a podcast. I mean, how did you make that transition? I'm still transitioning every day.

00:16:43.160 It's a struggle every day. Like, don't, don't let me sound like I got it all together because

00:16:47.520 I struggle with it every day, man. I mean, it's an every day. It's a choice when I get out of bed of

00:16:51.860 what's my day going to be like. I mean, every day, but I mean, it was in 2010. I was drinking a bottle

00:16:58.700 of crown every day. I was, I was just, man, I was a train wreck. You know, I was the guy,

00:17:04.440 I was that guy, right? The guy blaming everybody. You don't get it, right? You know, the guy that looks

00:17:08.800 at you instead of wants to answer the question where you haven't been there, you don't know what it's

00:17:12.520 like, right? You know, that cop out guy, right? Yeah. You know, so I would use that against people,

00:17:16.820 right? Instead of just facing it. If they didn't tell me what I wanted to hear, I'd cut them out

00:17:20.880 and I would use that answer. You know, well, that's bullshit. You've never been through what 1.00

00:17:24.320 I've been through to belittle them, right? When they were really just trying to tell me what I

00:17:28.220 needed to hear. Man, one day I was driving down the road. It's crazy because now in Kentucky,

00:17:33.340 this road that I'm talking about is now called the Dakota Meyer highway. Really? And yeah, it's so crazy

00:17:39.820 how it comes around, but I was driving down that road, man. One night I left, I don't remember where I left

00:17:45.480 from. And my buddy, a close buddy of mine I grew up with, his shop is on that road and it's like,

00:17:51.500 they got like a big welding shop. And I pulled over in that shop and man, I was just like,

00:17:56.720 I was just down. I don't know why, you know, September's always a hard month because that's

00:18:00.340 when I lost my team. And I pulled over and I remember I sent a text out. I think I said something

00:18:05.260 like, I just can't do this anymore. And I pulled over and I got my Glock out and I stuck it to my head

00:18:10.780 and squeeze the trigger. It didn't go off. Somebody had unloaded it. Oh man. And I always

00:18:15.560 keep all my guns loaded. Everyone, I mean, I can pull a gun out of a drawer here and they're all

00:18:19.720 loaded. And, um, I'd shot it the day before, man. I mean, I'd shot it the day before I was as sure as

00:18:26.000 shit that it was loaded and it didn't go off. I sobered up and I made a deal with myself. I said, 0.99

00:18:31.300 if I'm going to keep living life the way that I'm living, just rack another round into it and get over

00:18:36.840 with. If you're going to go around and you're going to treat people the way you do, and you're

00:18:40.520 going to just waste your life, then just go ahead and get off earth and stop wasting it. Just go ahead

00:18:45.460 and make that decision and do it. And I sat there for a minute and I said, but if I put my vehicle

00:18:50.460 in drive, I'll never look back. And I sat there for a few minutes, I put my car in drive and I got

00:18:55.720 home and that was it. What was the, and I don't want to make it sound like it was a switch on the

00:19:01.580 wall that you just flipped. I mean, you talk about this, you're still going through, but what do you do

00:19:05.460 at that moment? So you put the car in drive and you get home and you're like, okay, now what?

00:19:10.600 I've made the decision. Now, what do I do? Well, you start making better decisions. I mean,

00:19:14.020 you start looking around and seeing what's causing you to be this way, right? You got to start really

00:19:18.420 digging deep down. You have to make the choice that you don't want to be that way anymore.

00:19:23.460 And that's what I made a deal with myself. I looked in the mirror and said, you know,

00:19:27.200 where can I start? And I started chipping away, right? It's like eating an elephant, you know,

00:19:30.840 one bite at a time. And I started chipping away saying, look, I'm going to, I'm going to cut back on the

00:19:34.900 booze. You know, I'm going to start surrounding myself. I mean, I think it's the biggest piece

00:19:38.780 of this. The biggest piece of it is, is by surrounding yourself with people who make you

00:19:43.280 better. Like if you surround yourself with people who tell you what you want to hear, I mean, you're

00:19:48.660 not, that ain't a team. If you don't surround yourself with people who hold you accountable.

00:19:52.040 I mean, the people I was surrounding myself with were enabling me to do it. If you start hearing,

00:19:56.820 well, you know, you've been through a lot and then that that's justifiable, right? I mean,

00:20:01.020 nobody could imagine what you've gone through. No, that's bullshit. You know what? 1.00

00:20:04.120 Your worst day is no worse than my worst day. They're both equivalent in our scope of our

00:20:09.820 lens of life. So you don't have any more reason to be an asshole than I do. And I don't have any 1.00

00:20:14.240 more reason to be an asshole than you do. That's kind of what I had to accept. I had to look in the 1.00

00:20:18.180 mirror and stop blaming everyone around me. And I had to start blaming number one. I need to start

00:20:22.900 working on number one. And that's what I had to do. So I did. I cut down the drinking, right? First,

00:20:27.320 I had to be who I was. I mean, shit, I've never made good decisions when I was drinking. So 0.99

00:20:30.760 you got to start looking at what the, you know, you can't sit here. I hate the people who say,

00:20:35.460 well, I drink because I have PTSD. Oh, no, you don't. No, no. You drink because you're an

00:20:40.780 alcoholic. No, you can go get help for PTSD. Don't ever blame you getting drunk and driving

00:20:47.400 drunk and you being an asshole and this and that on, you see what I'm saying? Like you still make 1.00

00:20:52.580 the choice. I mean, look, I have the worst anxiety in the world. I may have the worst anxiety in the

00:20:57.560 world. I wake up at least once a month with my veneers. My veneers will come off or I'll be

00:21:03.600 puking, be crying in the fucking floor. I mean, it's still there every day, but does that give me 0.99

00:21:08.860 the right to get up and lay in my bed for a week straight and drink myself away? Does that give me

00:21:14.120 the, you know, do I, or do I try to find a healthier way to be, to do it right? I mean, for me going to

00:21:20.680 on it, that's where my team is. You know, the Tim Kennedys, the Aubrey Marcus, the Lance Armstrongs,

00:21:27.140 the, you know, I mean, me, I surround myself by people that I could never imagine myself being

00:21:32.040 because that way it's like, what, if you shoot for the stars and you hit the moon,

00:21:36.160 you know, look what you gained, right? And it's, but it's about that team keeping you accountable.

00:21:41.400 How did you start to develop this team? Cause you're, I mean, you're talking about some high

00:21:44.260 caliber guys. I know you work out with these guys. You live in the same area. How do you start

00:21:47.580 reaching out and connecting with the people who are going to push you? Not like you say,

00:21:51.440 enable you to continue the current path. Well, you know what I mean? They attract each other.

00:21:55.380 You start finding the team. You start looking at people saying, man, that guy right there or that

00:21:59.740 girl right there. Hey, they're badasses. They're, they're living it every day. You surround yourself 0.99

00:22:04.940 by people where you say, I don't know how they do it. Right? Like those are the words you got to look

00:22:09.660 for with people that you want to be surrounded by. Like, I don't know how they do it. I just wish I

00:22:15.120 could do half of what they do. Right. You look at those things in your mindset. Those are the types

00:22:19.460 of people you surround yourself with. Right. Not the people who are like, yeah, man, that guy,

00:22:23.600 that's a fun guy. He's a, he's a fun guy or, you know, you know what I mean? Like, I mean,

00:22:28.540 obviously you got to have all types in the team. Right. But I mean, the people who hold you

00:22:32.380 accountable, I mean, they have to, and it's always changing. Like, like my, my, you know, I still am

00:22:37.900 surrounded by Chris Schmidt, Toby Young, by guys back in Kentucky who got me out of this rut. I'm telling

00:22:42.840 you right now, if it wasn't for people like Chris Schmidt and Toby Young and Ann Young and Becca

00:22:47.480 Schmidt, Dean Adams, I mean, I would be dead. I would be dead. I'd be in a ditch somewhere dead.

00:22:53.220 No doubt. You know, the general Amos is the Bonnie Amos is, I mean, I can go down the whole list of

00:22:58.600 people who have impacted me at some segment along this journey and you have to continue to want to

00:23:03.200 be better. You know what I mean? Like you have to continue to want to be better and surround yourself

00:23:07.420 by better people all the time. And, you know, I'm just fortunate enough to go to the gym and I started

00:23:12.020 out the gym with Tim Kennedy and Shane Steiner. They invited me. Right. And I went in there and

00:23:16.220 I started working out with Eric Leha, with Juan Leha. I mean, I started working out with them,

00:23:21.400 Isik. I mean, all of them in there, all the trainers in there, but it was an environment

00:23:24.940 that they wanted to empower each other. Like they're all, you know, it's all competition,

00:23:29.340 but it's all about, you know, making each other better every day. And, you know, it was just,

00:23:32.600 that's how you'd start it. Right. Sure. You're only what you surround yourself by. You can't do

00:23:36.340 anything in life by yourself. You can't, you can't name one thing in your life that you do

00:23:41.560 on a daily basis that you don't have to rely on somebody else and somebody else doesn't rely on

00:23:45.920 you. There's nothing. So build your team. Gentlemen, just a quick pause to talk with

00:23:51.960 you about our show sponsor health IQ. I've talked about them in the past, but look guys, as you

00:23:56.940 know, it's our job to protect and provide. I believe that responsibility continues after we're

00:24:02.180 gone. And the best way, the best way to ensure your family's taken care of, at least financially

00:24:06.660 is to have life insurance in place, but that doesn't mean that you need to overpay for it.

00:24:10.960 Health IQ is using science data. They're using stats to ensure that those who live a healthy

00:24:16.020 lifestyle save money on their life insurance. If you're healthy, you should have some perks to the

00:24:20.840 cost of insurance. And that's exactly what you'll have with health IQ. They're saving some people

00:24:25.000 up to 33% on the cost of their insurance. So like saving money on car insurance for being a good

00:24:30.660 driver, health IQ helps you save money on your life insurance for being healthy. Head to health IQ.com

00:24:37.500 slash order of man. You can get a free quote and also see if you qualify to save money on your life

00:24:42.040 insurance. That's health IQ.com slash order of man. Now, gentlemen, back to my conversation with

00:24:48.180 Dakota. So how did the concept of own the dash? Well, first of all, let me back up. Let's explain

00:24:54.860 what that is. Cause that concept to me is awesome. I love it. Explain what that is. Explain how it came

00:24:59.600 about. And then we'll talk a little bit more about it. Yeah. So on the dash, you know, one thing that

00:25:03.620 look, I wear on my wrist, my bracelet, you know, my teammates names on it every day.

00:25:08.560 Own the dash came from Linda Ellis wrote a poem called the dash. I won't quote it all the way,

00:25:13.780 but basically it says like, she talked about how, you know, cause I'm always the guy who's trying to

00:25:18.580 figure out what is success. What is success? Like, you know, everybody defines success and this and

00:25:23.660 that. What is success? And so one day my buddy gave me this speech and, and it was Linda Ellis.

00:25:29.100 And she said something like, she read of a man who stood to speak at a funeral of a friend.

00:25:33.880 He spoke the following words with the day you were born, but, and then said the last, you know,

00:25:39.360 the following day with tears. And so, you know, with, you know, on your tombstone, your last living

00:25:45.140 legacy, you got the day you were born and the day you died, which both of those days are the only two

00:25:49.920 days in life that you don't have any choices. Sure. Sure. I mean, you don't have any choices. Those are,

00:25:54.660 I know this sounds so crazy, but those two days are the most insignificant days of your life. I

00:26:01.140 think that when you're born that they should give you a sign that says you're dying now because you

00:26:06.820 are, you know what I mean? And so she said, what matters most of all is the dash in between. And I

00:26:13.520 thought about it, man, it really hit home because I mean, I've seen so many buddies, so much life,

00:26:18.240 man. I've seen so many people die. I've seen so many people, you know, how life is over,

00:26:23.440 right? This how quick, I mean, I've seen how quick life can be over. And she also talks about

00:26:28.080 it. And it doesn't matter what, how much your life matters. It's not about the cars or the cash or the

00:26:33.100 houses. It's not about what you have. It's about how people remember you. And then it hit home to

00:26:39.380 me even more. I'm like, okay, so I've been to a lot of funerals. You know, nobody ever talks about

00:26:44.020 the day you were born or the day you died. They get up there and they unfold this note, this paper that

00:26:48.920 they jotted down, these great memories, right? Because they're trying to make a great time

00:26:52.820 memorable, a time out of a bad day. And it's like, you write that for them. So you can own

00:26:59.560 that part of it. So how do you own your dash? How do you own your dash? You can do that. You

00:27:04.540 can't own how long it is, but you can own what it looks like. You can own and you can create and

00:27:09.880 make it be whatever you want to be. And you have to do that. And what matters the most, I think what

00:27:15.180 true success is, is what people say about you at your funeral.

00:27:18.660 Yeah. Legacy, right?

00:27:19.600 Your legacy, right? Your legacy. And that's where the own the dash concept comes from is,

00:27:23.660 is own your dash every day. Wake up every single day and find something else to put on that piece

00:27:29.820 of paper for people around you of what they're going to say.

00:27:32.960 When you look around at the people around you and even yourself, where you guys are succeeding,

00:27:37.500 what does owning the dash actually look like? What are the things that you're doing and implementing

00:27:41.560 in your life to own your own your life?

00:27:43.340 I'm hoping to go out and empower people, right? Look, me and you, we can only do so much. We can

00:27:49.180 only impact so much. But you know Admiral McRaven, right?

00:27:52.160 Yeah.

00:27:52.380 So, I mean, you heard his speech where he talks about how if I just impact, what is it, 12 people,

00:27:59.240 I think. And then those 12 people just impact 12 people. And one generation, everybody, if I worry

00:28:06.360 about 12 people around me and the same people at 12 people worry about 12 people around them,

00:28:10.620 everybody's going to be collected. So I'm trying to build a community of people

00:28:13.960 who want to go out and inspire and empower people to be the best them every single day.

00:28:18.540 And so just like with putting the videos up, the podcast, obviously, right? The podcast. I mean,

00:28:23.060 I think people are looking for hope. I'll never forget. I was at a speech in Las Vegas one time

00:28:27.040 and I was speaking. It was probably like two or 3000 people. And I said all these great things and

00:28:31.580 you know, and this woman stood up and she had to be the guttiest person in that room. I would have 1.00

00:28:35.820 never asked a question, right? She stood up and she said, okay, Dakota, I listened to all your

00:28:40.340 concepts. I believe all your concepts. I agree with all your concepts, but how do I get people

00:28:46.260 to believe in a world like I believed in? So what it told me was, is people see there's a problem.

00:28:52.640 They recognize that there's a problem in America. They know what the solution is. They just don't

00:28:57.300 know how to do it. And so that's what I'm trying to do. I'm trying to build this community, whether

00:29:01.680 it's virtually through a podcast of inspiring people to go out, no matter how bad your day is,

00:29:06.300 there's other people who do it every day to inspire and build a community of people who,

00:29:09.880 who believe, I mean, you have to, before you can go do anything, you have to believe you can do it.

00:29:14.640 And so I'm trying to be that voice of inspiring and lighten a fire inside of Americans that make

00:29:19.700 them want to go out and believe in this country. And instead of reading all this negative on the

00:29:23.800 news and I want to give them a place to go to where they know that they can leave there and they

00:29:28.780 know that they're going to be more inspired and empowered to go out and be better and go ahead

00:29:33.340 and continue on with the mission of making America the best that it can be.

00:29:36.580 It's a really interesting perspective. One of the questions I get asked all the time is,

00:29:42.500 how do I help my son? Or how do I help my nephew? Or how do I help my coworker who's dealing with

00:29:48.960 whatever they're dealing with? And I think this is what you're talking about. Do you have any

00:29:52.760 ideas or strategies for inspiring others to do and be something more?

00:29:58.960 Yeah. You have to be doing it yourself first. You know, you inspire your kids by living it.

00:30:03.540 You inspire the people around you by living it and by showing them, by being the constant

00:30:07.520 in the whole equation. You know what I mean? Like you have to be what you want to see people be.

00:30:14.020 So you start there. And then, because I was real big on like kind of what you're talking about of how

00:30:19.140 do you, what are these concepts that we can, like these steps to give people to help do this,

00:30:24.660 right? And so I started that and I was like, I'm going to be wrong if I do this, because guess

00:30:30.420 what? It's kind of like the same reason that public education is failing. You can't have one

00:30:35.600 lesson plan for 10 different kids. Makes sense. Yeah, exactly. Here's what you have to do here.

00:30:41.840 It's a simple concept. You have to be great every single day. You have to give everything you can

00:30:47.680 every single day, whether it's 50%, 110% tomorrow or 20%. You got to give it all. You got to show that

00:30:53.760 you got to, but also you have to care about other people more than you care about yourself.

00:30:58.580 And then you take those two concepts and then you find a way to empower individuals through

00:31:04.360 accountability to be the best them every single day. And each, everybody's going to be different.

00:31:08.320 Have you ever jumped in two cars and drove two cars the same way?

00:31:11.400 No, of course not. Of course not. So you can't do the same thing with two different people,

00:31:14.820 right? I mean, there's going to be some people, it's like a football team, right? Like you have to

00:31:18.780 figure out who your quarterback is. I promise if you have a offensive guard playing

00:31:23.680 quarterback in your team, your whole team screwed, right?

00:31:26.560 Right. Yep, exactly. 0.89

00:31:27.680 So you have to figure out what people are good at. You got to figure out what their strengths are.

00:31:30.940 And then you figure out, because they all have a purpose. That's the first thing you have to

00:31:34.300 realize. There's nobody in this big, on the team that's more important than the other. There's nobody.

00:31:39.660 And so you have to, you have to reinforce that to them, whether it's the person sweeping the floors

00:31:44.380 after the concert, or it's the person who's sitting up there and who is performing at the concert.

00:31:49.440 Every single one of them are important for the whole thing to work. They're all important for

00:31:54.340 the overall success of the organization. And you have to empower them and you have to let them know

00:31:58.840 that you're proud of them to do that. You appreciate them to do that.

00:32:01.820 So one thing I'm hearing in this conversation is you and the desire to serve other people and help

00:32:07.100 other people. I mean, that's apparent and that's obvious just in our conversation and me getting to

00:32:10.820 know you a little bit outside of this conversation. How do you personally find the balance,

00:32:15.020 if that's the right word, between serving other people, but also serving yourself and taking care

00:32:20.120 of yourself so that you have the capacity to serve others? Well, I'm still working on that one, man.

00:32:24.700 I honestly, like I live, I feed off of inspiring others. If I can't do that, if you took that away

00:32:32.640 from me, man, I'd be gone. I'd be gone. I mean, and that's a part that I'm still struggling with,

00:32:38.560 right? Is, is of seeing the worth in myself to put time back in myself. You know what I mean? Like

00:32:44.420 I feel guilty going to the gym to work out because I feel like I could be doing something to help

00:32:50.280 others. I have a lot of guilt because of that. So that, that's, we're all, we're all, look,

00:32:55.020 we're all working to be better, but people around me, like seeing that I'm helping others helps me,

00:33:00.520 right? Like I see people and people call me out. It helps me be a better person. So, you know,

00:33:05.840 yeah, I mean, it's, it's a hard balance. That, that's one thing that I could definitely use a

00:33:10.400 lot of work on is that balance. Yeah. I think, I think a lot of us are, are that way. And it's

00:33:15.680 important, you know, I found in my life, it's important for me to find a way to take care of

00:33:19.400 myself. So I don't exhaust myself and limit my capability and capacity to serve other people.

00:33:24.100 Yeah. Yeah. I mean, cause you know, here's the thing. I mean, if you're not, you know, the day,

00:33:28.200 the day that you're out in the middle of the ocean and you can't swim, you can't save anybody else.

00:33:32.480 Exactly. Yeah. I mean, you can't save anybody drowning around you.

00:33:35.600 You know what I mean? It is a balance, but you know, it's about that team though.

00:33:39.420 It's about that team around, you know, that they have to be, you know, that's part of that team

00:33:43.340 that has to be able to call you out and then you have to trust them and their judgment to listen.

00:33:47.920 Yeah. Good call. Good call. Well, Dakota, we're bumping up against time, man. We could talk about

00:33:51.620 this stuff all day. And I want to give the guys, of course, an opportunity to connect with you

00:33:55.400 because there's so much more here and so much more that you can share and have shared. So I appreciate

00:33:59.360 that. Before we wind things down, I want to ask you a couple additional questions. The first one is what

00:34:03.800 does it mean to be a man? You know, what does it mean to be a man? I mean, you know, to me being a

00:34:08.180 man is living a life of honor, is being a protector, is being someone worthy of the title

00:34:15.580 man. Right. I mean, I think that you, I think that, I think that you have to earn it every single

00:34:20.080 day, right? You can't, you can't be a shit bag. You can't, you can't treat people like shit and 1.00

00:34:25.120 then call yourself a man. You can't treat women like shit and call yourself a man. You can't watch 1.00

00:34:30.880 and know that bad shit's going on and turn your eye and call yourself a man. Every day you should 1.00

00:34:37.840 be sharpening that steel. Every day you should be sharpening that blade because people rely on you.

00:34:43.220 And that's part of, you know, having and being able to call yourself a man. You know, you have to live

00:34:47.960 a life of honor. You have to be able to take the hits, right? I mean, you have to do that and you

00:34:52.460 have to also be very respectful and, and knowing where you strike back. Some people think being a

00:34:57.720 man is going out and being this meat knuckle dragging. I don't think that that's it. I mean,

00:35:02.720 I think being a man is like, it's a holistic approach of, of knowing your weaknesses and working

00:35:08.460 on those, but also knowing your strengths and having those in the bag at any time. But I think at the

00:35:13.240 end of the day, it's living a life of honor and living a life of putting others first.

00:35:18.120 And it's a living a life of lending a hand up to people, even whether they deserve it or not.

00:35:23.340 It's not your, your choice to decide whether somebody deserves help or they don't deserve

00:35:27.020 help. It's just your honor and duty to do that. It's awesome, man. And you're obviously somebody

00:35:31.960 from my perspective who's embodying what that means. So I appreciate that of you. How do we connect

00:35:36.440 with you? How do we learn more about you? Listen to the podcast, get tapped into what you're doing.

00:35:39.840 Yeah, man. Look, uh, listen to the podcast. So you're going to come on it, right?

00:35:43.620 Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. I'm going to take you up on that. I'm going to come down and train with

00:35:46.200 you guys down there too. I'm in, I mean, that'd be great.

00:35:48.540 I'm on circles around me, I'm sure, but we'll do it all the same.

00:35:51.380 I don't know, man. I listen to the camera makes me look good. Uh, no, I mean, you'll connect with

00:35:56.300 me on my daily blog. I do that on YouTube, the Dakota Meyer YouTube. I also have the on the dash

00:36:00.520 YouTube where I put up my podcast, you know, the video podcast. Uh, you can check me out on

00:36:04.900 Twitter. I don't usually use Twitter that much. Right. But I get on there sometimes, uh,

00:36:08.880 to wreak a little bit of havoc. Uh, check me out on Facebook. You can go to own the dash.us

00:36:14.120 where we've got some product up and I put up some blogs and stuff and try to just, you know,

00:36:18.580 show the world just how great people are. So, you know, that's where you can connect with me.

00:36:22.780 You know, the Instagram Dakota Meyer 0 3 1 7, uh, on the Instagram. So go, go check me out.

00:36:28.160 Right on, man. We'll link all that up so the guys can connect. I got to tell you,

00:36:31.000 I've been excited about having this conversation with you and obviously lived up to the hype,

00:36:35.180 but I appreciate your level of humility and the fact that you are still on the journey.

00:36:40.260 You acknowledge that, uh, of course, appreciate your service to the country and the service that

00:36:44.260 you continue to render towards everybody. You come in contact, man, I can't say enough about

00:36:48.740 the good you're doing and how much I appreciate you for what you do.

00:36:51.540 No, thank you, man. Thank you for having me on. I mean, it was awesome. This is all this is,

00:36:54.780 I will say this is one of the best podcasts I've been on. So I appreciate it, man. I agree.

00:36:59.040 You tell that to all the podcasters.

00:37:00.240 I don't either. Right on, man. Well, I'm looking forward to connecting down in, uh,

00:37:05.940 in Austin and, and getting to know you a little bit better and spending some time together.

00:37:09.080 All right. Thanks, man. I hope you have a great day.

00:37:11.860 There it is guys. Such a powerful, powerful conversation with again, one of the most humble

00:37:16.380 men I've met considering all of the amazing, amazing accomplishments that Dakota has had in his

00:37:23.080 life. Now, if you enjoyed this episode, I'm sure that you did, please let me and Dakota know.

00:37:27.520 We both want to hear from you. You can do that on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, wherever you

00:37:31.980 spend your social media time and attention. We are there. We want to hear from you. And more

00:37:36.340 important than just, again, the information that we're sharing, it's the application. So as you

00:37:41.160 tag us, as you share this stuff with us, let us know what you're actually doing in your life to

00:37:46.380 enhance your life, your family's life, your business, your community, every area that we as men are

00:37:51.680 required and frankly have a responsibility and obligation to show up again, Instagram, Facebook,

00:37:57.200 Twitter, wherever you are. Last announcements. As we close things down today, again, two days away

00:38:03.000 from the book launch, it would mean the world to me. If you would head over to order of man.com

00:38:08.140 slash book, pick up a copy of the book for yourself, pick up a copy for your dad, your brother,

00:38:12.860 your friend, your colleague, your coworker, more men need to hear about this. And when you do read

00:38:16.680 the book, please, if you would, this will go a long way in spreading the message that more men need

00:38:21.240 to hear, leave us a rating and review on Amazon. And of course the visibility for that book will

00:38:27.040 greatly improve when you do that. And I would appreciate any help that you could in getting

00:38:31.400 this message out guys. I am thankful for you. I'm thankful that you're tuning in each and every

00:38:35.360 week. I'm just as inspired by the stories that I see and what I hear from you guys,

00:38:38.980 as I hope that you are from me. So know that and let's continue to work on getting this message

00:38:44.780 out to the masses. Thanks again, guys. I hope to see you next week, but until then take action

00:38:49.840 and become the man you are meant to be. Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast.

00:38:56.080 You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be.

00:39:00.220 We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.

00:39:08.980 Thank you.

Order of Man - January 30, 2018

150： Own the Dash ｜ Dakota Meyer

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