150： Own the Dash ｜ Dakota Meyer
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Summary
Dakota Meyer is a retired Marine and the recipient of the highest military honor one could earn. Today, we talk about how he views the events that earned him that recognition, overcoming an attempted suicide, and how he has redefined himself through living in the service of others.
Transcript
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There are two days you have control over the day you're born and the day you die.
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Every other day in life represents an opportunity to choose how you decide to live it. My guest
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today, Dakota Meyer calls this own the dash. The dash is all the days between your date of birth
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and your date of death. Dakota Meyer is a retired Marine and the recipient of the highest military
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honor one could earn the medal of honor. Today, we talk about how he views the events that earned
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him that recognition, overcoming an attempted suicide, how he has redefined himself through
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living in the service of others and how he owns the dash. You're a man of action. You live life to
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the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path. When life knocks you down, you get
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back up one more time. Every time. You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong.
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This is your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day,
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and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man. Gentlemen, what is going on today?
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My name is Ryan Mickler and I am the host and the founder of this podcast, the order of man. I am so
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glad that you're here with us today. We have got so much going on. If you are listening to this show,
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the day it is being released in two days, just two days, one of the most exciting days of my life
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will be the release of my first book, sovereignty, the battle for the hearts and minds of men. So if
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you would, and if you're interested and you haven't done so already, you need to head to order of man.com
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slash book order of man.com slash book. You can do that in the next two days and download the
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introductory chapter for free. Outside of that, if you are interested in buying the book, you can
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use that same link order of man.com slash book. I can't even begin to describe how exciting it is
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and all the emotions that go into pouring your heart and soul and mind and everything else into
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the writing of a book. And then of course, putting it out into the public for you, for you to see,
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hopefully it will improve your life. So exciting times ahead. Outside of that, we just wrapped up
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our meetup in Nashville. A lot of you guys were there. It was an amazing, amazing event. We had
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so many great speakers and of course the brotherhood and the camaraderie and just the ability to rub
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shoulders with other guys who are on the same journey. If you weren't able to make it, I know a
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lot of you guys wanted to come and I hope that you can make it to a future event. We're going to be
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getting you the dates on future events because we're going to start ramping up on more of these
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meetups because it did go over so well. So be able to look out for that. Those will be available
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soon. And then outside of that, we've got our exclusive brotherhood, the iron council. I know
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I haven't talked about this a whole lot just because we've had so much going on over the past couple of
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months, but this is a digital band of brothers, but we've taken a lot of what we're doing online and
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we've actually taken it offline as we have put together some regional meetups for guys inside of
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the iron council. I'm not going to get into a lot of detail on that today because we do have so much
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going on, but if you're interested in learning more, uh, you can head to order of man.com slash
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iron council. That's a lot. Of course, we've got a lot going on, like I said before, but I would just
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want to make sure I give you all of the resources for those of you who are new guys. This is a show
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about becoming a better man. It's not necessarily about all of the information, although that's
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important. It's about the application. And so all of the tools and the resources that we're
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providing to you are about taking the information that we learn here through our guests, amazing,
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amazing guests. And today is no different. And then using that information to apply it and enhance
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our lives and the lives of the people we care about. So with that said, guys, I have got an
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amazing guest today. This has got to be one of my favorite episodes to date. His name is Dakota Meyer.
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He's a Marine. I mentioned earlier, he is also a medal of honor recipient. He's a New York times,
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bestselling author. He's a business owner, probably one of the most humble men that I've
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had the privilege of meeting in 2009. He and his squad were ambushed by Taliban insurgents in
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Afghanistan. He learned that some of his team members were missing. So he went back to find them
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and in the process rescued 12 wounded and provided cover for another 24 Marines and soldiers. I was
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absolutely blown away with his perspective on those events. I don't want to ruin the surprise and I won't
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do that, but this was not what I expected. And of course the subsequent depression, a failed
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suicide attempt that followed. But since then he has gone on to found a successful construction
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company and has now dedicated himself to serving others and allowing others to use his platform
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to share messages of inspiration across this nation. So guys, sit back, buckle up. Dakota is one of the
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most real humans I've ever met as he shares some of his personal stories, both good and bad
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that have made him who he is today. Dakota, what's up, man? Thanks for joining me on the
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show today. Hey, what's going on? Excited to have you on. I know we've bounced around a little bit,
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but we finally made this work. So life is busy though for you, it seems like. Yeah, no, man. I mean,
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all over the place, you know, it's hard to get an hour together, you know? It is for sure. How's the
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new podcast going? Cause you've got the new podcast, own the dash. How's that coming along? Yeah. So
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it's owning it with Dakota Meyer. You know, I launched it nine weeks ago, so it seems like it's doing
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pretty good. You know, I was so against it. I've been so against podcasts, YouTube. I don't know.
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I just, I don't know why it's just one of those things. I'm just, I don't know. It's like a mind
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block for me. And I started it and everybody, you know, they talked me into it. Uh, actually what
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got me started was I was on a Facebook live and I said, uh, if you guys want me to start a podcast,
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if I get a, I think it was like a hundred or 200 comments that says start a podcast, I'll start one.
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And I got it. So I had to turn around and start one. So I thought like, Oh man, I didn't,
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I didn't really want to do that, but now I'm committed to doing that. Right. Yeah. So I did
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it, but you know what I found out is I really enjoy it. You know, and I tell you what's really
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got me is the impact. You know, I never really sit down and thought about it until I was, I was
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talking to some other big podcasters and they're like, you know, you, you know, you got to think
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about it. Like people sit there and they listen to you for an hour, like you're riding in people's
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cars for an hour. And it was like, golly. I mean, you know, I know how important an hour of my day is
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and to think that people would take an hour out of their day to listen to what I have to say or
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what I bring to the table. It's just so, it's so, I mean, it just blew me away. The thought of it.
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I got that probably about four weeks in and I was just doing it like just as reps, like, okay,
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I'm going to get this. I'm going to do it. Cause I'm doing it because I said I was going to do it.
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And then it kind of switched for me to do it because it's like, golly, if people are going to give me
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their hour, I'm going to give them everything I got. And so I love it. I mean, I've had a lot of big
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guests on Tim Kennedy, uh, Shane Steiner, who's country music singer, you know, a businessman.
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I mean, just a great at a lot of things. And then, you know, you take Aubrey Marcus, you take,
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you know, uh, Jocko's going to come on, you know, I mean, you, you just, you know,
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I think you're going on a Jocko's podcast too, right?
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I am. I am. I'm going to go on Jocko's podcast the first week of February. So,
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you know, just to be able to do this and be able to be, I mean, and just like, you know,
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just like you, I mean, having me on, I mean, it's just like, I don't know. It's awesome, man.
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It's just cool. I like how you reached, I think you reached out to Jocko on Twitter, right?
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I did. You said, Hey, how do I get on your show? I did. You know, I like, I look up to Jocko.
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He's got one video that's really hit home and I probably watch it twice a day.
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Which one is that? It's the one where he says good.
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Oh yeah. It's a great, it's a great message. It's such a great, it's so simple too. Like,
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it's not one of these complicated things. Well, you know, your brain works this way. And if you think
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about it this way and you change your thinking in the worst moments of your time, it's like,
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Oh no, it's no bullshit. Like, it's like, just say good. You know? Yeah. It is incredible,
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you know? So, you know, it's awesome. I mean, it's awesome to be part of this community and then
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to see how people are actually using it. Right. I mean, how cool is that? I mean,
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how cool is it? I mean, do you sit there and think about that? I mean, how cool is it that people are
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like, I'm going to give you an hour of my day? It's unreal. And it's unreal when you get a message
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and somebody says how the work impacted them, or you see somebody in the airport and you're like,
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Hey man, I listened to your podcast. That to me is just wild. That's, I mean,
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like, I don't get paid to do my podcast. Right. And that's what makes it worth it is just hearing
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people write you. I mean, the messages and just saying, you know, man, you're, you know,
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you're really changing my life. It's like, Holy shit, you're changing mine. Like it's, you know,
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it's kind of like this mutual deal, right? Interesting. Yeah. As much as they think that
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you're changing their life, like they're really changing yours. You seem to be a pretty humble dude.
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Do you think that has to do with why putting yourself out there in the podcast and YouTube
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and all these other channels was somewhat of a challenge for you initially?
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Yeah. I mean, like, I just, like, I have this mind block that like, why would anybody want to
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listen to me? I don't really have anything to offer. I mean, I'm not, I'm not the smartest guy
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ever. Right. I mean, you know, I just, I don't think like I look in the mirror and I don't see
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anything to offer, you know what I mean? And that, but, but what I did realize was, and it took me this
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long to do it. Right. I mean, from, I got the medal of honor in 2011 and I fought it for a long time.
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It just, you know, everybody's like, Oh, well you have a platform. You have a platform. And,
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and I just, no, I don't know. I don't, I just, I don't want to, I don't want the platform. So I
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kept saying. Right. And so what I wanted to do is like, I go around and I see all these incredible
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people, man. I see all these, these incredible people like that, that'll never have a platform
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that are way better than I could ever be. Right. I mean, it just are incredible people. So I was like,
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you know what I want to do? What I want to do is, is I want to take people who never have a
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platform and I'm going to give them my platform by a podcast and talk about their story.
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And that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to go around America and I'm going to give all these
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incredible people who are out living their life and who are out, who are out making their world a
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better place, just the world around them a better place. And I'm going to go give them the platform
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who will never have the platform. And I'm going to go show how great they are because no politicians
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ever going to make America great again. Nobody in power. There's not going to be a, you know,
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there's never going to be anybody like that. That's going to make America great again.
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America's already great. And I'm going to go show the world why America is great by showing all
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these incredible people that make up America. That's powerful, man. So this idea, notion of
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service, like how can I help other people from the podcast to the actions that earned you the medal
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of honor? Is this something that you've learned? Is this something that you have developed or were
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you born with this heart of service? Walk me around that a little bit.
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No, you know, I mean, I actually had the same conversation, man, this morning, like right before
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we had this, me and my camera guy, he was kind of asking me the same thing. And I will say that I
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think that something instilled in me to always want to help the underdog, right? Because I mean,
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I was the underdog. I was never the fastest. I was never the smartest. I never looked the best. I was
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never the best in shape. I just I had heart, right? And that's what my dad taught me. I always
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realized what I was. But I'm going to use that, right? I'm going to use what I am like, I'm not
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the best. So I think that's what part of it was. But the other piece of it is, I mean, I can remember
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at 17 or 16 or 17 years old, I have my driver's license. And I remember driving down the road,
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I can tell you exactly where it was at. It was in Campbellsville, Kentucky, right across from the
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McDonald's over there. There's now a gas station on the right. And there's like this little apartment
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complex on the left over there. And I had left McDonald's that morning, you usually cruise the strip over
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there. And I seen this older guy beating up this woman. I was 16. And I pulled my trailblazer over
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for 1717. I had my trailblazer. So 17. I pulled my trailblazer over and I got out and I beat the
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shit out of this guy. Really? Some 30 or 40 year old man, right? I mean, because I seen him slam his
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girlfriend or wife or what I didn't get out and ask me a question off the hood of the car. And I just
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pulled my car over. I remember pulling in there and I just got out. And I mean, I just I just bought this
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guy. So I think there was always that piece of it in me, right? I hate seeing people suffer. But
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I tell you the point that really changed it. Because when I got in the Marine Corps, I was
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a cocky. I was a cocky guy. Listen, I lived my craft, right? I mean, I lived it. I loved it. I
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owned it. I wanted to be the best. And you know, I mean, I was a team leader and I'd accomplished quite
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a bit. And they train that into you as well, though, too. Yeah, I think it's instilled in you,
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right? I mean, you're around, but you're around a bunch of alpha males, right? I mean,
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you're around a bunch of people who just, you know, just, you know, they clash each other. And if
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you're not, if you come out one day and you even act halfway weak, you know, you're going to get
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the sick chick gets pecked, right? Yeah. So, you know, and you have to have that mentality to instill
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that confidence in a bunch of more, a bunch of alpha males, right? And so I think it's part of the
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mindset. But, you know, even in Afghanistan, this is how dumb I was. I mean, I'm gonna, I'm gonna
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really show myself here is I went into that valley on September 8, 2009 that day, man, I really
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thought, I really thought and believed that there's no situation I couldn't handle. Like,
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I never thought if I was going to be there, I could fix it is what I, is what I felt like,
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right? You know, I go in there and then I come out at the end of the day, everything that I cared
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about, everything that I loved was taken away from me in one day, everything. How so?
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You know, everything I cared about. I mean, I let my guys down, my honor, my commitment,
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my loyalty to my teammates, you know, letting them down and them dying and coming out, no
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team. I mean, everything that I cared about was gone that day. I mean, I lost, I got my
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ass kicked. I just remember telling myself, I'm going to live the rest of my life to make
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other people happy. And that's where I'm going to get my satisfaction is if I can just make
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somebody's life better by giving them a compliment. I can remember finding my teammates. I mean,
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I didn't physically die that day with them, but that Dakota Meyer died right there. And
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I've just committed my life to trying to make the world a better place. Like I just, that's all I
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want to do. That's all I want to do. I just want to make the world a better place. You know, people
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ask me all the time, what are you going to, so what's your goals in life? I want to change the
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world. And I tell everybody that works for me. I mean, I can, I can bring my, I can bring my,
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my camera guy over here right now, everybody that works for me. I say one thing to them.
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So my goal is to change the world. And if that's too big for you to believe in,
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then you don't need to be on my team. Hmm. How have you changed after the military? I mean,
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what specifically has changed? It sounds like a lot of your mindset. And I look, man, from the
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outside looking in, and the way that I understand it is that you rescued 12 people from that valley.
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But the way I hear you say it is that you let those guys down. Yeah. I mean, you know, you,
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I know people say, well, you know, that's the glass half empty mindset, but it's not, I mean,
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I think you have to own your failures too, right? I mean, you can't,
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listen, at the end of the day, I went back to a, an outpost and I walked into a room. I mean,
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literally the room, the house that we lived in on that outpost, I walked in and every guy that
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slept in that same room and every guy that came over with me and every guy that lived on that and
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ate and drank and then went on every mission with me. I walked in that room. I walked out of it on
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Monday and I walked back into it on Wednesday and I was packing up every other guy that slept in that
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room's stuff to send home to their family. And so, I mean, I did fail, you know, you can't,
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you know, people say, oh, well, you didn't fail. You didn't this. No, I did. I went in with an
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objective to get my teammates out. My teammates were expecting me to get them out. None of them
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made it home. And so that's a failure. You know, you have to own that. You have to learn it. And I
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tell people all the time, you're going to get tested one day, no matter, no matter what, you're going to
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be tested. You don't know where it's going to be at. It could be at the next concert. It could be the
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next red light. It could be the next shopping center. It could be the next mall. It could be
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hell. Who knows? It could be at the gym. Who knows? But you're going to be tested. And whether
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you succeed or fail, the decision's already made when that moment happens. It's going to be all
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those decisions, those millions of decisions that were made up to that point. And I got tested and
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I failed. And that's just part of it, you know, and I have to own that and I have to accept it.
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But I think that it's changed me to be a better person, to give more than I take. And it gave me a
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mindset to, Hey, you know what? Like, I just want to stop worrying about Dakota and I just want to
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worry about everybody else around me. Yeah. I mean, that's cool. Cause I look at a lot of guys
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who have an experience, maybe not as drastic or dramatic as that, but have an experience and use
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it as a opportunity or an excuse to implode, right. To self-destruct. And it sounds like you've
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taken the exact opposite route and used it as an opportunity to thrive and help others thrive.
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Well, I do. I mean, I've self-destructed. I mean, I've been down that road, you know,
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and I've been down it and I just, I have to understand that I'm not, when I go down that
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road, I have to understand that I'm not living a life worthy of what those guys would have wanted
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me to, you know, I answer to that. And, and I agree with you. I mean, look, you have an option,
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whether you succeed or you fail, it's all just a moment in time. A win lasts no longer than a loss does.
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It just lasts to the next, to the next test. Right. I mean, that's, that's it. I think that the people who,
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you know, who use it as an excuse, they choose to do that. They choose to become the victim.
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And I think that the day you become the victim is the day that you allow yourself to become the
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victim. And it's because you made that choice to become the victim. How did you turn yourself from
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a victim after this experience into somebody who owns his life and you've got own the dash and
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owning a podcast. I mean, how did you make that transition? I'm still transitioning every day.
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It's a struggle every day. Like, don't, don't let me sound like I got it all together because
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I struggle with it every day, man. I mean, it's an every day. It's a choice when I get out of bed of
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what's my day going to be like. I mean, every day, but I mean, it was in 2010. I was drinking a bottle
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of crown every day. I was, I was just, man, I was a train wreck. You know, I was the guy,
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I was that guy, right? The guy blaming everybody. You don't get it, right? You know, the guy that looks
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at you instead of wants to answer the question where you haven't been there, you don't know what it's
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like, right? You know, that cop out guy, right? Yeah. You know, so I would use that against people,
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right? Instead of just facing it. If they didn't tell me what I wanted to hear, I'd cut them out
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and I would use that answer. You know, well, that's bullshit. You've never been through what
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I've been through to belittle them, right? When they were really just trying to tell me what I
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needed to hear. Man, one day I was driving down the road. It's crazy because now in Kentucky,
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this road that I'm talking about is now called the Dakota Meyer highway. Really? And yeah, it's so crazy
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how it comes around, but I was driving down that road, man. One night I left, I don't remember where I left
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from. And my buddy, a close buddy of mine I grew up with, his shop is on that road and it's like,
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they got like a big welding shop. And I pulled over in that shop and man, I was just like,
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I was just down. I don't know why, you know, September's always a hard month because that's
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when I lost my team. And I pulled over and I remember I sent a text out. I think I said something
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like, I just can't do this anymore. And I pulled over and I got my Glock out and I stuck it to my head
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and squeeze the trigger. It didn't go off. Somebody had unloaded it. Oh man. And I always
00:18:15.560
keep all my guns loaded. Everyone, I mean, I can pull a gun out of a drawer here and they're all
00:18:19.720
loaded. And, um, I'd shot it the day before, man. I mean, I'd shot it the day before I was as sure as
00:18:26.000
shit that it was loaded and it didn't go off. I sobered up and I made a deal with myself. I said,
00:18:31.300
if I'm going to keep living life the way that I'm living, just rack another round into it and get over
00:18:36.840
with. If you're going to go around and you're going to treat people the way you do, and you're
00:18:40.520
going to just waste your life, then just go ahead and get off earth and stop wasting it. Just go ahead
00:18:45.460
and make that decision and do it. And I sat there for a minute and I said, but if I put my vehicle
00:18:50.460
in drive, I'll never look back. And I sat there for a few minutes, I put my car in drive and I got
00:18:55.720
home and that was it. What was the, and I don't want to make it sound like it was a switch on the
00:19:01.580
wall that you just flipped. I mean, you talk about this, you're still going through, but what do you do
00:19:05.460
at that moment? So you put the car in drive and you get home and you're like, okay, now what?
00:19:10.600
I've made the decision. Now, what do I do? Well, you start making better decisions. I mean,
00:19:14.020
you start looking around and seeing what's causing you to be this way, right? You got to start really
00:19:18.420
digging deep down. You have to make the choice that you don't want to be that way anymore.
00:19:23.460
And that's what I made a deal with myself. I looked in the mirror and said, you know,
00:19:27.200
where can I start? And I started chipping away, right? It's like eating an elephant, you know,
00:19:30.840
one bite at a time. And I started chipping away saying, look, I'm going to, I'm going to cut back on the
00:19:34.900
booze. You know, I'm going to start surrounding myself. I mean, I think it's the biggest piece
00:19:38.780
of this. The biggest piece of it is, is by surrounding yourself with people who make you
00:19:43.280
better. Like if you surround yourself with people who tell you what you want to hear, I mean, you're
00:19:48.660
not, that ain't a team. If you don't surround yourself with people who hold you accountable.
00:19:52.040
I mean, the people I was surrounding myself with were enabling me to do it. If you start hearing,
00:19:56.820
well, you know, you've been through a lot and then that that's justifiable, right? I mean,
00:20:01.020
nobody could imagine what you've gone through. No, that's bullshit. You know what?
00:20:04.120
Your worst day is no worse than my worst day. They're both equivalent in our scope of our
00:20:09.820
lens of life. So you don't have any more reason to be an asshole than I do. And I don't have any
00:20:14.240
more reason to be an asshole than you do. That's kind of what I had to accept. I had to look in the
00:20:18.180
mirror and stop blaming everyone around me. And I had to start blaming number one. I need to start
00:20:22.900
working on number one. And that's what I had to do. So I did. I cut down the drinking, right? First,
00:20:27.320
I had to be who I was. I mean, shit, I've never made good decisions when I was drinking. So
00:20:30.760
you got to start looking at what the, you know, you can't sit here. I hate the people who say,
00:20:35.460
well, I drink because I have PTSD. Oh, no, you don't. No, no. You drink because you're an
00:20:40.780
alcoholic. No, you can go get help for PTSD. Don't ever blame you getting drunk and driving
00:20:47.400
drunk and you being an asshole and this and that on, you see what I'm saying? Like you still make
00:20:52.580
the choice. I mean, look, I have the worst anxiety in the world. I may have the worst anxiety in the
00:20:57.560
world. I wake up at least once a month with my veneers. My veneers will come off or I'll be
00:21:03.600
puking, be crying in the fucking floor. I mean, it's still there every day, but does that give me
00:21:08.860
the right to get up and lay in my bed for a week straight and drink myself away? Does that give me
00:21:14.120
the, you know, do I, or do I try to find a healthier way to be, to do it right? I mean, for me going to
00:21:20.680
on it, that's where my team is. You know, the Tim Kennedys, the Aubrey Marcus, the Lance Armstrongs,
00:21:27.140
the, you know, I mean, me, I surround myself by people that I could never imagine myself being
00:21:32.040
because that way it's like, what, if you shoot for the stars and you hit the moon,
00:21:36.160
you know, look what you gained, right? And it's, but it's about that team keeping you accountable.
00:21:41.400
How did you start to develop this team? Cause you're, I mean, you're talking about some high
00:21:44.260
caliber guys. I know you work out with these guys. You live in the same area. How do you start
00:21:47.580
reaching out and connecting with the people who are going to push you? Not like you say,
00:21:51.440
enable you to continue the current path. Well, you know what I mean? They attract each other.
00:21:55.380
You start finding the team. You start looking at people saying, man, that guy right there or that
00:21:59.740
girl right there. Hey, they're badasses. They're, they're living it every day. You surround yourself
00:22:04.940
by people where you say, I don't know how they do it. Right? Like those are the words you got to look
00:22:09.660
for with people that you want to be surrounded by. Like, I don't know how they do it. I just wish I
00:22:15.120
could do half of what they do. Right. You look at those things in your mindset. Those are the types
00:22:19.460
of people you surround yourself with. Right. Not the people who are like, yeah, man, that guy,
00:22:23.600
that's a fun guy. He's a, he's a fun guy or, you know, you know what I mean? Like, I mean,
00:22:28.540
obviously you got to have all types in the team. Right. But I mean, the people who hold you
00:22:32.380
accountable, I mean, they have to, and it's always changing. Like, like my, my, you know, I still am
00:22:37.900
surrounded by Chris Schmidt, Toby Young, by guys back in Kentucky who got me out of this rut. I'm telling
00:22:42.840
you right now, if it wasn't for people like Chris Schmidt and Toby Young and Ann Young and Becca
00:22:47.480
Schmidt, Dean Adams, I mean, I would be dead. I would be dead. I'd be in a ditch somewhere dead.
00:22:53.220
No doubt. You know, the general Amos is the Bonnie Amos is, I mean, I can go down the whole list of
00:22:58.600
people who have impacted me at some segment along this journey and you have to continue to want to
00:23:03.200
be better. You know what I mean? Like you have to continue to want to be better and surround yourself
00:23:07.420
by better people all the time. And, you know, I'm just fortunate enough to go to the gym and I started
00:23:12.020
out the gym with Tim Kennedy and Shane Steiner. They invited me. Right. And I went in there and
00:23:16.220
I started working out with Eric Leha, with Juan Leha. I mean, I started working out with them,
00:23:21.400
Isik. I mean, all of them in there, all the trainers in there, but it was an environment
00:23:24.940
that they wanted to empower each other. Like they're all, you know, it's all competition,
00:23:29.340
but it's all about, you know, making each other better every day. And, you know, it was just,
00:23:32.600
that's how you'd start it. Right. Sure. You're only what you surround yourself by. You can't do
00:23:36.340
anything in life by yourself. You can't, you can't name one thing in your life that you do
00:23:41.560
on a daily basis that you don't have to rely on somebody else and somebody else doesn't rely on
00:23:45.920
you. There's nothing. So build your team. Gentlemen, just a quick pause to talk with
00:23:51.960
you about our show sponsor health IQ. I've talked about them in the past, but look guys, as you
00:23:56.940
know, it's our job to protect and provide. I believe that responsibility continues after we're
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insurance. That's health IQ.com slash order of man. Now, gentlemen, back to my conversation with
00:24:48.180
Dakota. So how did the concept of own the dash? Well, first of all, let me back up. Let's explain
00:24:54.860
what that is. Cause that concept to me is awesome. I love it. Explain what that is. Explain how it came
00:24:59.600
about. And then we'll talk a little bit more about it. Yeah. So on the dash, you know, one thing that
00:25:03.620
look, I wear on my wrist, my bracelet, you know, my teammates names on it every day.
00:25:08.560
Own the dash came from Linda Ellis wrote a poem called the dash. I won't quote it all the way,
00:25:13.780
but basically it says like, she talked about how, you know, cause I'm always the guy who's trying to
00:25:18.580
figure out what is success. What is success? Like, you know, everybody defines success and this and
00:25:23.660
that. What is success? And so one day my buddy gave me this speech and, and it was Linda Ellis.
00:25:29.100
And she said something like, she read of a man who stood to speak at a funeral of a friend.
00:25:33.880
He spoke the following words with the day you were born, but, and then said the last, you know,
00:25:39.360
the following day with tears. And so, you know, with, you know, on your tombstone, your last living
00:25:45.140
legacy, you got the day you were born and the day you died, which both of those days are the only two
00:25:49.920
days in life that you don't have any choices. Sure. Sure. I mean, you don't have any choices. Those are,
00:25:54.660
I know this sounds so crazy, but those two days are the most insignificant days of your life. I
00:26:01.140
think that when you're born that they should give you a sign that says you're dying now because you
00:26:06.820
are, you know what I mean? And so she said, what matters most of all is the dash in between. And I
00:26:13.520
thought about it, man, it really hit home because I mean, I've seen so many buddies, so much life,
00:26:18.240
man. I've seen so many people die. I've seen so many people, you know, how life is over,
00:26:23.440
right? This how quick, I mean, I've seen how quick life can be over. And she also talks about
00:26:28.080
it. And it doesn't matter what, how much your life matters. It's not about the cars or the cash or the
00:26:33.100
houses. It's not about what you have. It's about how people remember you. And then it hit home to
00:26:39.380
me even more. I'm like, okay, so I've been to a lot of funerals. You know, nobody ever talks about
00:26:44.020
the day you were born or the day you died. They get up there and they unfold this note, this paper that
00:26:48.920
they jotted down, these great memories, right? Because they're trying to make a great time
00:26:52.820
memorable, a time out of a bad day. And it's like, you write that for them. So you can own
00:26:59.560
that part of it. So how do you own your dash? How do you own your dash? You can do that. You
00:27:04.540
can't own how long it is, but you can own what it looks like. You can own and you can create and
00:27:09.880
make it be whatever you want to be. And you have to do that. And what matters the most, I think what
00:27:15.180
true success is, is what people say about you at your funeral.
00:27:19.600
Your legacy, right? Your legacy. And that's where the own the dash concept comes from is,
00:27:23.660
is own your dash every day. Wake up every single day and find something else to put on that piece
00:27:29.820
of paper for people around you of what they're going to say.
00:27:32.960
When you look around at the people around you and even yourself, where you guys are succeeding,
00:27:37.500
what does owning the dash actually look like? What are the things that you're doing and implementing
00:27:43.340
I'm hoping to go out and empower people, right? Look, me and you, we can only do so much. We can
00:27:49.180
only impact so much. But you know Admiral McRaven, right?
00:27:52.380
So, I mean, you heard his speech where he talks about how if I just impact, what is it, 12 people,
00:27:59.240
I think. And then those 12 people just impact 12 people. And one generation, everybody, if I worry
00:28:06.360
about 12 people around me and the same people at 12 people worry about 12 people around them,
00:28:10.620
everybody's going to be collected. So I'm trying to build a community of people
00:28:13.960
who want to go out and inspire and empower people to be the best them every single day.
00:28:18.540
And so just like with putting the videos up, the podcast, obviously, right? The podcast. I mean,
00:28:23.060
I think people are looking for hope. I'll never forget. I was at a speech in Las Vegas one time
00:28:27.040
and I was speaking. It was probably like two or 3000 people. And I said all these great things and
00:28:31.580
you know, and this woman stood up and she had to be the guttiest person in that room. I would have
00:28:35.820
never asked a question, right? She stood up and she said, okay, Dakota, I listened to all your
00:28:40.340
concepts. I believe all your concepts. I agree with all your concepts, but how do I get people
00:28:46.260
to believe in a world like I believed in? So what it told me was, is people see there's a problem.
00:28:52.640
They recognize that there's a problem in America. They know what the solution is. They just don't
00:28:57.300
know how to do it. And so that's what I'm trying to do. I'm trying to build this community, whether
00:29:01.680
it's virtually through a podcast of inspiring people to go out, no matter how bad your day is,
00:29:06.300
there's other people who do it every day to inspire and build a community of people who,
00:29:09.880
who believe, I mean, you have to, before you can go do anything, you have to believe you can do it.
00:29:14.640
And so I'm trying to be that voice of inspiring and lighten a fire inside of Americans that make
00:29:19.700
them want to go out and believe in this country. And instead of reading all this negative on the
00:29:23.800
news and I want to give them a place to go to where they know that they can leave there and they
00:29:28.780
know that they're going to be more inspired and empowered to go out and be better and go ahead
00:29:33.340
and continue on with the mission of making America the best that it can be.
00:29:36.580
It's a really interesting perspective. One of the questions I get asked all the time is,
00:29:42.500
how do I help my son? Or how do I help my nephew? Or how do I help my coworker who's dealing with
00:29:48.960
whatever they're dealing with? And I think this is what you're talking about. Do you have any
00:29:52.760
ideas or strategies for inspiring others to do and be something more?
00:29:58.960
Yeah. You have to be doing it yourself first. You know, you inspire your kids by living it.
00:30:03.540
You inspire the people around you by living it and by showing them, by being the constant
00:30:07.520
in the whole equation. You know what I mean? Like you have to be what you want to see people be.
00:30:14.020
So you start there. And then, because I was real big on like kind of what you're talking about of how
00:30:19.140
do you, what are these concepts that we can, like these steps to give people to help do this,
00:30:24.660
right? And so I started that and I was like, I'm going to be wrong if I do this, because guess
00:30:30.420
what? It's kind of like the same reason that public education is failing. You can't have one
00:30:35.600
lesson plan for 10 different kids. Makes sense. Yeah, exactly. Here's what you have to do here.
00:30:41.840
It's a simple concept. You have to be great every single day. You have to give everything you can
00:30:47.680
every single day, whether it's 50%, 110% tomorrow or 20%. You got to give it all. You got to show that
00:30:53.760
you got to, but also you have to care about other people more than you care about yourself.
00:30:58.580
And then you take those two concepts and then you find a way to empower individuals through
00:31:04.360
accountability to be the best them every single day. And each, everybody's going to be different.
00:31:08.320
Have you ever jumped in two cars and drove two cars the same way?
00:31:11.400
No, of course not. Of course not. So you can't do the same thing with two different people,
00:31:14.820
right? I mean, there's going to be some people, it's like a football team, right? Like you have to
00:31:18.780
figure out who your quarterback is. I promise if you have a offensive guard playing
00:31:23.680
quarterback in your team, your whole team screwed, right?
00:31:27.680
So you have to figure out what people are good at. You got to figure out what their strengths are.
00:31:30.940
And then you figure out, because they all have a purpose. That's the first thing you have to
00:31:34.300
realize. There's nobody in this big, on the team that's more important than the other. There's nobody.
00:31:39.660
And so you have to, you have to reinforce that to them, whether it's the person sweeping the floors
00:31:44.380
after the concert, or it's the person who's sitting up there and who is performing at the concert.
00:31:49.440
Every single one of them are important for the whole thing to work. They're all important for
00:31:54.340
the overall success of the organization. And you have to empower them and you have to let them know
00:31:58.840
that you're proud of them to do that. You appreciate them to do that.
00:32:01.820
So one thing I'm hearing in this conversation is you and the desire to serve other people and help
00:32:07.100
other people. I mean, that's apparent and that's obvious just in our conversation and me getting to
00:32:10.820
know you a little bit outside of this conversation. How do you personally find the balance,
00:32:15.020
if that's the right word, between serving other people, but also serving yourself and taking care
00:32:20.120
of yourself so that you have the capacity to serve others? Well, I'm still working on that one, man.
00:32:24.700
I honestly, like I live, I feed off of inspiring others. If I can't do that, if you took that away
00:32:32.640
from me, man, I'd be gone. I'd be gone. I mean, and that's a part that I'm still struggling with,
00:32:38.560
right? Is, is of seeing the worth in myself to put time back in myself. You know what I mean? Like
00:32:44.420
I feel guilty going to the gym to work out because I feel like I could be doing something to help
00:32:50.280
others. I have a lot of guilt because of that. So that, that's, we're all, we're all, look,
00:32:55.020
we're all working to be better, but people around me, like seeing that I'm helping others helps me,
00:33:00.520
right? Like I see people and people call me out. It helps me be a better person. So, you know,
00:33:05.840
yeah, I mean, it's, it's a hard balance. That, that's one thing that I could definitely use a
00:33:10.400
lot of work on is that balance. Yeah. I think, I think a lot of us are, are that way. And it's
00:33:15.680
important, you know, I found in my life, it's important for me to find a way to take care of
00:33:19.400
myself. So I don't exhaust myself and limit my capability and capacity to serve other people.
00:33:24.100
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, cause you know, here's the thing. I mean, if you're not, you know, the day,
00:33:28.200
the day that you're out in the middle of the ocean and you can't swim, you can't save anybody else.
00:33:32.480
Exactly. Yeah. I mean, you can't save anybody drowning around you.
00:33:35.600
You know what I mean? It is a balance, but you know, it's about that team though.
00:33:39.420
It's about that team around, you know, that they have to be, you know, that's part of that team
00:33:43.340
that has to be able to call you out and then you have to trust them and their judgment to listen.
00:33:47.920
Yeah. Good call. Good call. Well, Dakota, we're bumping up against time, man. We could talk about
00:33:51.620
this stuff all day. And I want to give the guys, of course, an opportunity to connect with you
00:33:55.400
because there's so much more here and so much more that you can share and have shared. So I appreciate
00:33:59.360
that. Before we wind things down, I want to ask you a couple additional questions. The first one is what
00:34:03.800
does it mean to be a man? You know, what does it mean to be a man? I mean, you know, to me being a
00:34:08.180
man is living a life of honor, is being a protector, is being someone worthy of the title
00:34:15.580
man. Right. I mean, I think that you, I think that, I think that you have to earn it every single
00:34:20.080
day, right? You can't, you can't be a shit bag. You can't, you can't treat people like shit and
00:34:25.120
then call yourself a man. You can't treat women like shit and call yourself a man. You can't watch
00:34:30.880
and know that bad shit's going on and turn your eye and call yourself a man. Every day you should
00:34:37.840
be sharpening that steel. Every day you should be sharpening that blade because people rely on you.
00:34:43.220
And that's part of, you know, having and being able to call yourself a man. You know, you have to live
00:34:47.960
a life of honor. You have to be able to take the hits, right? I mean, you have to do that and you
00:34:52.460
have to also be very respectful and, and knowing where you strike back. Some people think being a
00:34:57.720
man is going out and being this meat knuckle dragging. I don't think that that's it. I mean,
00:35:02.720
I think being a man is like, it's a holistic approach of, of knowing your weaknesses and working
00:35:08.460
on those, but also knowing your strengths and having those in the bag at any time. But I think at the
00:35:13.240
end of the day, it's living a life of honor and living a life of putting others first.
00:35:18.120
And it's a living a life of lending a hand up to people, even whether they deserve it or not.
00:35:23.340
It's not your, your choice to decide whether somebody deserves help or they don't deserve
00:35:27.020
help. It's just your honor and duty to do that. It's awesome, man. And you're obviously somebody
00:35:31.960
from my perspective who's embodying what that means. So I appreciate that of you. How do we connect
00:35:36.440
with you? How do we learn more about you? Listen to the podcast, get tapped into what you're doing.
00:35:39.840
Yeah, man. Look, uh, listen to the podcast. So you're going to come on it, right?
00:35:43.620
Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. I'm going to take you up on that. I'm going to come down and train with
00:35:46.200
you guys down there too. I'm in, I mean, that'd be great.
00:35:48.540
I'm on circles around me, I'm sure, but we'll do it all the same.
00:35:51.380
I don't know, man. I listen to the camera makes me look good. Uh, no, I mean, you'll connect with
00:35:56.300
me on my daily blog. I do that on YouTube, the Dakota Meyer YouTube. I also have the on the dash
00:36:00.520
YouTube where I put up my podcast, you know, the video podcast. Uh, you can check me out on
00:36:04.900
Twitter. I don't usually use Twitter that much. Right. But I get on there sometimes, uh,
00:36:08.880
to wreak a little bit of havoc. Uh, check me out on Facebook. You can go to own the dash.us
00:36:14.120
where we've got some product up and I put up some blogs and stuff and try to just, you know,
00:36:18.580
show the world just how great people are. So, you know, that's where you can connect with me.
00:36:22.780
You know, the Instagram Dakota Meyer 0 3 1 7, uh, on the Instagram. So go, go check me out.
00:36:28.160
Right on, man. We'll link all that up so the guys can connect. I got to tell you,
00:36:31.000
I've been excited about having this conversation with you and obviously lived up to the hype,
00:36:35.180
but I appreciate your level of humility and the fact that you are still on the journey.
00:36:40.260
You acknowledge that, uh, of course, appreciate your service to the country and the service that
00:36:44.260
you continue to render towards everybody. You come in contact, man, I can't say enough about
00:36:48.740
the good you're doing and how much I appreciate you for what you do.
00:36:51.540
No, thank you, man. Thank you for having me on. I mean, it was awesome. This is all this is,
00:36:54.780
I will say this is one of the best podcasts I've been on. So I appreciate it, man. I agree.
00:37:00.240
I don't either. Right on, man. Well, I'm looking forward to connecting down in, uh,
00:37:05.940
in Austin and, and getting to know you a little bit better and spending some time together.
00:37:09.080
All right. Thanks, man. I hope you have a great day.
00:37:11.860
There it is guys. Such a powerful, powerful conversation with again, one of the most humble
00:37:16.380
men I've met considering all of the amazing, amazing accomplishments that Dakota has had in his
00:37:23.080
life. Now, if you enjoyed this episode, I'm sure that you did, please let me and Dakota know.
00:37:27.520
We both want to hear from you. You can do that on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, wherever you
00:37:31.980
spend your social media time and attention. We are there. We want to hear from you. And more
00:37:36.340
important than just, again, the information that we're sharing, it's the application. So as you
00:37:41.160
tag us, as you share this stuff with us, let us know what you're actually doing in your life to
00:37:46.380
enhance your life, your family's life, your business, your community, every area that we as men are
00:37:51.680
required and frankly have a responsibility and obligation to show up again, Instagram, Facebook,
00:37:57.200
Twitter, wherever you are. Last announcements. As we close things down today, again, two days away
00:38:03.000
from the book launch, it would mean the world to me. If you would head over to order of man.com
00:38:08.140
slash book, pick up a copy of the book for yourself, pick up a copy for your dad, your brother,
00:38:12.860
your friend, your colleague, your coworker, more men need to hear about this. And when you do read
00:38:16.680
the book, please, if you would, this will go a long way in spreading the message that more men need
00:38:21.240
to hear, leave us a rating and review on Amazon. And of course the visibility for that book will
00:38:27.040
greatly improve when you do that. And I would appreciate any help that you could in getting
00:38:31.400
this message out guys. I am thankful for you. I'm thankful that you're tuning in each and every
00:38:35.360
week. I'm just as inspired by the stories that I see and what I hear from you guys,
00:38:38.980
as I hope that you are from me. So know that and let's continue to work on getting this message
00:38:44.780
out to the masses. Thanks again, guys. I hope to see you next week, but until then take action
00:38:49.840
and become the man you are meant to be. Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast.
00:38:56.080
You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be.
00:39:00.220
We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.