158： The 1% Rule ｜ Tommy Baker
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Summary
In this episode, we talk about overcoming the Law of Diminishing Returns, how to effectively set goals, and how to harness the power of the 1% rule. My guest and friend, Tommy Baker, makes the case for focusing more on the process than the result. In fact, in his new book, "How to Fall in Love with the Process," he teaches how to fall in love with the process and achieve our wildest dreams.
Transcript
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Most of us tend to focus on that one big audacious goal that we all have.
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And the problem with that is that it may be so far out there or so unrealistic that subconsciously
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My guest and friend, Tommy Baker, makes the case for focusing more on the process than
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In fact, in his new book, he teaches how to fall in love with the process and achieve
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Today, we talk about overcoming the law of diminishing returns, how to effectively set
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goals, the greatest myths of achievement, and how to harness the power of the 1% rule.
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Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.
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When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time, every time.
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You are not easily deterred or defeated, rugged, resilient, strong.
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At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.
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My name is Ryan Mickler, and I am the host and the founder of this podcast, The Order
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I want to welcome you back, or I want to welcome you for the first time.
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If you are here for the first time, guys, this is a show about becoming a better man,
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a better husband, a better father, a better business owner, a better community leader,
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So to that end, we are interviewing the world's most successful men, guys like Dakota Meyer,
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Jocko Willink, Leif Babin, Andy Frisilla, Grant Cardone, Ryan Holiday, Joe DeSena.
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We've had such an incredible lineup of guests, and I've put together about eight to ten new
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shows that are going to be coming out here in the next couple of months, and I've got
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to tell you, our lineup just keeps getting stronger and stronger and stronger.
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So guys, if you haven't already done this, make sure you hit that little subscribe button.
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You're going to want to hit that button because you will be notified every single week, every
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single Tuesday when a new show comes out, a new interview show comes out, and you will
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So make sure you hit subscribe, leave us a rating and review while you're there.
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Also, we've got our show that comes out tomorrow, every Wednesday called In The Trenches.
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My good friend and fellow Iron Council member, Bubba Downs, hosts that show, and he talks with
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regular, ordinary, everyday guys like you and me who are in the trenches, doing the work,
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getting it done, struggling where we're struggling, achieving where we're achieving, and
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really just on this journey to make the best out of our life.
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And then of course, on Friday, we've got our Friday field notes, which is me.
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You're going to hear from me for about 10, 15, 20 minutes or so, talk about whatever.
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It might be on the subject of masculinity or responsibility or name it.
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I mean, if it's bouncing around in my brain, I'm having a conversation with you on Friday
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And I would love to get some feedback from you guys.
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If you don't, let me know, but give me some feedback so we can continue to improve
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the experience that you're having here with the Order of Man podcast.
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Now, outside of the podcast, guys, we've got the website, orderofman.com.
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You might want to check out facebook.com slash groups slash order of man.
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And then I've been getting quite a few emails from guys who are asking how they can get more
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or what's next or what is this Order of Man thing all about?
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And I think the best place to turn for that is our membership group.
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This is a collection of roughly 360 plus men right now having some serious conversations.
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And at the end of the day, my goal with that brotherhood is to really bridge the gap between
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99% of us know what we need to do, but we were trying to overcome that hurdle of how do
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How do we implement this and how do we actually put this into action?
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It's about taking the knowledge that you hear on this podcast and the other groups and the
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things that we're doing, and then applying that information to actually make it work and
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So we've got challenges, we've got assignments, we've got battle teams, we've got calls, we've
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got guest experts coming on, which is something we just barely added.
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In fact, just last week was our first guest expert.
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His name is Rourke Denver, a former Navy SEAL and just an incredible, incredible man.
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So guys, if you're interested in joining our brotherhood and banding with me and the other
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Again, that's orderofman.com slash iron council.
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Now, one thing you have not heard from me in a while is a show sponsor.
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And the reason for that is because I've regrouped.
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I kind of rethought the strategy of having a sponsor on the show and I didn't want to hawk
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I didn't want to share stuff with you that wasn't going to be relevant for you.
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So I have been contacted by and been in touch with some companies, but I specifically reached
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You may know him and his name is Pete Roberts with Origin.
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And I've managed to build a friendship with him.
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And he talked about wanting to mention what he's doing.
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I mean, basically these are guys, these are men in the woods of Maine.
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And what they're doing is frankly, they're taking America back.
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And the beauty of what they're doing is that they have 100% made in America products without
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Everything that they make, everything that they do is all made in America.
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And it's pretty incredible and pretty inspiring to watch some of their stories.
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They make training gear for jujitsu, which I know a lot of our audience is involved with
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And then the thing that I really am liking lately is they also have a nutritional division.
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And I know a lot of you guys probably listen to the Jocko podcast.
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And together they've come up with a couple of different products.
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The other is super krill, which I actually use the super krill and discipline.
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These are amazing nutritional products that I'm using in my everyday life.
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So if you are interested in learning a little bit more about what they're doing, their story
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and all the wonderful things, my friend, Pete Roberts over at origin is doing head to
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origin, Maine, origin, Maine, O-R-I-G-I-N, Maine.com slash order of man.
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You can check it out, see what they're up to and see if it's a good fit for you.
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So again, origin, Maine.com slash order of man guys, with that said, and that information
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out of the way, let me introduce you to my guest.
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Another great man, another great friend of mine.
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He has been on the show before, so you may recognize his name.
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He wrote a book a while back, but has since written a new book.
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And I knew based on your feedback and the messages and texts that I got after our original show
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that I needed to have him on again, to have a conversation about his, his new book.
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If you haven't listened to the first episode, you are going to hear why Tommy and I get along
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His enthusiasm, his engagement with life is infectious.
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He's the founder of the Resist Average Academy and podcast.
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He's got a passion guys for helping people achieve more in every single area of their
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Originally he's a fitness coach and he's still doing that, but he's since expanded his own
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And he's more focused now on helping people get their mindset, right?
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And then the followup is what you'll hear about today.
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Thanks for joining me back on the show again today.
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Tommy, it's an absolute pleasure to be here for a second time, my man.
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Well, we've had countless conversations podcasting wise.
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This is probably our fourth podcast together, I think.
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And you know, our conversations are sometimes could also be podcasts.
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That's like when you connect with people that are like-minded and that support and challenge
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I was looking at Instagram or Facebook or something earlier today.
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And we capped it last night with an awesome book launch party here in Scottsdale, Arizona.
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And as you know, to see all the support, you know, no one, no one goes through this alone.
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And so even from the person who just liked a couple of things on social media, the person
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who bought the book and some of my closest people, as much as it was about the book, it
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And I wish I could have been there for that, but obviously live a little far away to
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be able to make it down there on any given night.
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I've got an idea since I've gone through the book, but I would love to get a framework for
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It was really birthed from spending so much time in the trenches, coaching others and
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also just having conversations with people in everyday life and them setting these massive
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So they had really great intentions, but their expectations were extremely high.
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And what would happen, Ryan, is I'm sure like you've seen, they would get started in
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the moment that they experienced some adversity, the moment that they stopped feeling enthusiastic,
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the moment that they got off track for a second, they would just give up and give in because
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And so I really wanted to give people a system to say, no, that's not what it's about.
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How about we just place your self-esteem around the process?
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And that process is specifically, we're going to get 1% better every day.
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And if we can do that at the very minimum throughout over a year with incremental growth,
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And you and I know exponential growth, you can get up to 37x, 3,700.
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So anywhere in between that is something I would take any day of the week.
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And I wanted to give people that system to just wake up every day and fall in love with
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the process because you and I know that's what actually gives us meaning and fulfillment
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And how does this contrast with those that you hear that talk about setting big, crazy,
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I mean, is that something that's still worth doing or is this in contrast to that philosophy?
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So I still believe and I talk about it in the book, we still have to have that vision that
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pulls us the vision that, you know, you can call it moonshot thinking, you can call it
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I love people who think big, ambition, all that.
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But what the book does is you have to bring it down to today.
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And I mean, today, as in today, Friday, when we're recording this podcast, it's like based
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They set the big vision and then they get lost in the how.
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And I have a whole chapter on it's called the how is where dreams go to die because
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that's where we get lost in paralysis by analysis.
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And so we got to bring it back all the way to today.
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But as you know, the simple stuff many times also doesn't get done.
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We have to have a vision that we're going through is big, but we have to bring it down
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Because I hear you say that and I have certainly experienced that in my own life.
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But at the same time, it is important to figure out how you're going to do things.
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They say they want to build this business and they have this dream about the business.
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And we realize that today they have none of those things.
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And so to think way too far into the future that you're not even close enough,
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you haven't even experienced is where people get lost in paralysis by analysis.
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And so, of course, there's a part of the how that is crucial.
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But the part of the how that I focus on is the first 30 days based on the goal and the
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And that allows for this, these few pillars of execution that are high levels of urgency
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So there is a time and a place to think about the how.
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But in the book, I really argue if we spend most of our time on the what, we spend most of
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our time on the why, a deeply rooted emotional why.
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And then we bring it down to the first 30 days, the how will start to reveal itself.
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And I told the story last night at the book launch.
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You know, I moved out to Arizona a couple of years ago.
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But before that, I had a vision that I was going to be speaking to people and I was going
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I didn't know the specific people that were going to be there.
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I didn't know specifically what I was launching, but I had a vision.
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And then the next day after I set that vision, I started to move forward and I started to
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But as time went on, the how started to open up and reveal itself.
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And to me, that's why I say the how is where dreams go to die, because people get lost in
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And it's like, no, let's just focus on what you're going to do today and for the next
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But before we do, I really like where you talked about just identifying what you need to do over
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the next 30 days, because this is a conversation we have a lot.
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It's like, you know, sometimes you've just got to take that first step with a little bit
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And that's something you actually cover and talk about in the book as well.
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But just having a little bit of faith to take the first step, not really knowing where that's
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going to lead and not really knowing what the second step is, but knowing that once you
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take that first step in a way, that second step will begin to to manifest itself.
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It's that first step into something that's new and that's unknown.
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And you and I talked about this when you were on my show.
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Something that is different from where we are today is it can be seen as a threat.
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And so, you know, I tell people in the book, if you experience fear, if you experience doubt,
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if you experience, you know, high levels of just not knowing how you're going to do it,
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then like that's a sign that you're thinking big and bold.
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And that's a sign to actually move in and step into into that first step and that second
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And you and I know once we get, you know, a hundred steps in us, we start to create some
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momentum and we start to actually believe that it's not only possible, but it's going
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So I want to talk about the vision, the purpose, your mission, why?
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And quite honestly, in the entrepreneurial world, in the online space, they get thrown
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They become a little convoluted and it's hard to know what exactly that even means or if
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And I think if most people address it, they probably just address it at a surface level.
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And I think that's important, but is that really deep enough to drive you to take new
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So, so walk me through, if you would, how somebody begins to even articulate what these
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Many times they've become this, just this grand thing, right?
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Like I tell a story all the time about being at a seminar and, and, you know, the guy leading
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You're going to write down your life purpose in two sentences go.
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And I noticed everybody starts looking around, right?
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And it's like this overwhelming pressure to define your life's purpose in a couple hours,
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So one of the big things with purpose, with vision, with all of these deep things that are
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just like you said, status quo and personal development, entrepreneurship, success, mindset,
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I want to take out the pie in the sky feeling around it and bring it down to today.
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Because if you and I have to define our life purpose right now for the rest of our lives
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I mean, very rare is somebody going to be able to do that in a matter of a 35 to 45 minute
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So I like to bring that down and make it just really, really practical.
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And some of the exercises that I do in terms of identifying purpose and vision, all of
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So let's make a list of the things that light you up in life.
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Let's make a list of the real world skills that you have right now.
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And let's combine those and see what are some potential vehicles.
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And I like the word vehicle because it means it's an evolution that those two can fit into.
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And that's a place where we start to live into our purpose.
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But you and I know living in our purpose, living in our vision, this is an evolution.
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And so the process of it, we're always going to grow into it.
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So I think it actually lets people off the hook, Ryan, when our when we have to define
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our purpose and it's this big monumental thing, I think it lets people off the hook from actually
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So I just bring it down to ground level and say, hey, what lights you up?
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What skills do you have based on where you want to go?
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And then even that, because most people are living so disconnected from their purpose,
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even that's going to give you a bunch of energy and a new spark of enthusiasm that you didn't
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No, it's a good point, because even when I started Order of Man, like I didn't have some
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grand vision laid out of what I wanted to become.
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And we've been going now for three years, three years this month.
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And it's different than what I thought it would be when I started, because I didn't
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And it's morphed and it's evolved and it's grown in a different path than I thought it
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But I would have never got to this point, which I feel is like my life's work, my life's
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If I wasn't willing just to take one step and just see, you know, just see like, where
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And then you take the next step and the next step and the next step.
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And before you know it, you look back and think, man, how did I even get here?
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I'm excited I'm here, but how in the world did I even get here?
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And let me ask you, Ryan, as you said, it's different now.
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Is it more powerful or less powerful than you imagined?
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Way more powerful, way more powerful for me, way more uplifting and fulfilling and way
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more impactful and influential in a lot more people's lives than I thought it would be.
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And I wanted to harp on that for anybody listening, because this is the powerful part about the
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If we get so lost in the specifics of the vision that we become rigid and we set, this is
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our awareness, this is how we want it to look and feel like, et cetera, et cetera, we might
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miss the alternative that is actually even more powerful.
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The same thing that you just described, you had no idea, right?
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You just took the first step, you had faith and trust, but the end result or your current
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evolution of the end result was more powerful than you could have actually imagined.
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Because the greatest tragedy is not knowing what could have been, right?
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And you had no idea that what you just created would be a part of your reality today.
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I want to talk about the myths that you go through and there's five of them that you
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People set this false reality of what this is going to look like.
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For example, somebody goes into the gym for the first time in five or 10 years, and they
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think that they're going to be able to lose 20 pounds in a week.
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And then they don't, and they're distraught, and they think they're a failure because they
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And we see this in entrepreneurship all the time, right?
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You have the people, they quit their job, they start their business, and they assume that
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they're going to get to 10, 15, 20,000 a month quick.
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I mean, I've had so many people tell me after reading expert secrets, and they'll look at me
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in the eye and they say, man, I'm about to build a $20,000 a month funnel.
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I mean, it's just, it's completely unrealistic.
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And so, and then honestly, this has happened like 10 times now.
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And when I check back, this is just a massive issue.
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Because if we have these, just like you said, we have these massive expectations.
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Anything less than that means that we're not good enough.
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The program or the mentor that we went to scammed us because they promised these big things.
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And it's like, dude, let's get a reality check.
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You know, you've been on the couch for 14 years.
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Let's have you hit three workouts a week for three months and fall in love with that process,
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Well, what I really like about what you're talking about here, too, in the tagline or
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the subtitle of the book is basically falling in love with the process.
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And I like that because you can control the process, but you can't always control the outcome.
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Sure, you know, nine times out of 10, it's going to work out if you do the process.
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But I think if we measure our level of success based on the actions that we're taking and
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then essentially just letting the chips fall where they may, I think that's a much better
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You know this, I mean, you wrote the book, you've built order of man, you've completely
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transformed your marriage and your fitness, but it builds this powerful confidence.
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I'm going to fall in love with the process regardless of how I feel, regardless of moods,
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regardless of the weather, regardless of who's in office, regardless of how I got triggered
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And so for me, it's like I tell people, if you can move forward 1% every single day, even on
00:20:02.400
the days that you truly don't feel like it, then on the days that you feel like it, you're
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You talk about tracking this stuff and you're using 1%, which is obviously mathematics.
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So like how important is it, A, that you measure the 1% growth and how would you measure something
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that's difficult to quantify, like being a better father or being a better husband?
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It's 1% progress plus daily application plus persistence plus time equals success.
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So for example, if somebody has a business, I love setting revenue goals, but I really,
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and that's great to have that vision of revenue goals, but I want to set process goals.
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Let's find out what has the highest potential to convert someone into a sale.
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So in the book, I give, you know, the example of just a phone conversation and we set the
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The 1% goals are directly tied to the highest potential to create revenue in the business,
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And so in that example, it's about, okay, you're going to do 27 reach outs today.
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That's kind of just the example that I gave in the book.
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And when we focus on the numbers, when we focus on the process, many times the rest of the
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stuff falls into place and it falls into place in a more powerful way.
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But what this really does is it allows us to avoid procrastination and focus is a big
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part of this book because man, I go to a lot of events like you do.
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And you know, a lot of times people don't lack the ambition.
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They don't lack the skills per se, even though they're always in pursuit of acquiring them,
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but man, it's, it's a matter of focus and discipline and not procrastinating.
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And so the reason why people like to avoid talking about the process and they'd rather just
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talk about the big vision and revenue goal is because the process is the six inches in front
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of their face in terms of what they have to do today.
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When things are so simple and it's like, it's right in front of us, like that scares people
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So if it's, you know, I want to be a better father.
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Does that mean spending a certain amount of time with your kids on a weekly basis?
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And then every single week you're going to do three dates with your kids or whatever
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And I like the idea that you have of, okay, being a better father.
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But now you're talking about working backwards into defining what those mean for you because
00:22:34.040
Being a better father is different for me than it might be for somebody else.
00:22:37.300
Being wealthy is different for me than it might be for somebody else.
00:22:42.020
And you know this, the world, the universe, it doesn't respond to ambiguity.
00:22:48.480
And again, it's very easy to be ambiguous because it lets us off the hook.
00:23:00.980
And so how are we actually going to do the work on something that's not defined?
00:23:05.660
And that's why it is so important that you define it.
00:23:07.600
So here's one of the things that I'm dealing with personally, and I'll use my fitness journey.
00:23:11.620
For example, when I started this thing a little over four years ago, I was 50 pounds heavier
00:23:17.680
I got up to 235 pounds at my heaviest weight and I'm 5'10".
00:23:23.460
And I was able to lose that weight fairly quickly because the more overweight you are, the easier
00:23:30.700
But now I'm running into the law of diminishing returns.
00:23:33.720
And I feel like a lot of times I'm plateauing on my fitness journey because the gains aren't
00:23:40.940
So how do you begin to deal with these diminishing returns when you're talking about this 1% method?
00:23:47.360
It's such a great question because so many people deal with it.
00:23:49.860
I tell people to fall in love with the plateau.
00:23:54.120
Early on in your fitness journey, Ryan, you were experiencing breakthroughs very often, right?
00:23:59.820
Every day was something new, a PR, or I lost, you know, three pounds on the scale.
00:24:04.140
I mean, every day I was experiencing something.
00:24:08.340
And because your skill in regards to that and your current result were low.
00:24:12.020
And so it was very easy once you changed a lot of variables and committed, it was very
00:24:17.800
But now that you've gotten much better, you're much better.
00:24:19.980
I see the stuff that you post on Facebook, you're lifting these heavy ass deadlifts and everything.
00:24:24.200
But as you get stronger, as you get fitter, you're going to experience more plateaus.
00:24:29.140
In other words, you're going to experience less breakthroughs.
00:24:32.480
And on the exponential growth curve, it's actually pretty crazy because when you look at the
00:24:36.400
exponential growth curve, it's like, it looks flat.
00:24:41.680
And you're looking straight ahead and you're like, shit, I'm in a plateau.
00:24:43.880
I better change my program, better change my coach, better change my diet, better change
00:24:48.300
If you're doing the right things, if you're consistent, and obviously every time you get to new levels
00:24:53.180
of mastery, you have to tighten things up to continue to see results, but stay on it, stay
00:24:57.960
in the process, and the next breakthrough will come.
00:25:00.040
I just started really investing and immersing myself in boxing, which is a new thing in
00:25:05.140
And it's like every day I'm seeing a breakthrough.
00:25:07.480
On my hip, the guy tells me how to do my hips and to relax and boom, I hit a perfect punch,
00:25:12.640
But dude, two years from now, I sure as hell better not be experiencing a breakthrough every
00:25:17.540
I better be working on the fundamentals, working on the process, falling in love with that, and then
00:25:21.840
maybe experiencing a breakthrough every couple months.
00:25:24.060
And that's exactly what I tell people, because we think that the plateau means something isn't
00:25:29.360
We think the plateau means, oh, this doesn't work anymore.
00:25:32.560
When many, many times, and of course there's outliers, but many times it just means we're
00:25:37.360
gaining mastery, we're gaining skill, we're gaining results, and there's a more powerful
00:25:42.620
I think this is why I like what you're doing so much, because consistency is absolutely key.
00:25:48.120
I've seen people come into the podcasting game and go very quickly.
00:25:52.520
I've seen people come into social media and fizzle out very quickly.
00:25:56.000
I've seen people who will come into the gym for a couple of weeks or a couple of months
00:26:00.440
at the beginning of the year and then fizzle out quickly.
00:26:02.960
And I think the most successful people in the world have just found a way to be extremely
00:26:08.060
And that's what you talk about here is basically celebrating commitment.
00:26:14.360
It's celebrating that you got your ass out of bed and you went into the gym.
00:26:18.560
Part of the one percent rule is a code and part of it is number two is do it every single
00:26:28.360
And all of these kind of lead to the same thing that you just talked about, which is
00:26:32.860
And it's like the other day, our mutual friend Colby introduced me at this event and he's
00:26:39.080
He's like, dude, this guy has been consistent everywhere for the last three years.
00:26:49.060
And a lot of times people stop on the five yard line, man.
00:26:52.240
Like speaking about the plateau, they're right on the, on the edge of another touchdown,
00:26:58.420
And then, and then sometimes they never get that spark back, which to me is the biggest
00:27:04.460
I mean, it's so common that somebody just quits and throws in the towel and outside of just
00:27:13.000
I quite honestly don't know what to say when I run across that or see somebody else running
00:27:26.440
I talk about it all over the book, but man, if you don't have the inner drive, if you don't
00:27:30.320
have the inner fire, if you don't have the inner hunger, I mean, there's nothing that is
00:27:38.040
And I just tell people, you know, we have a couple of exercises that we do.
00:27:41.220
One of them is, and it may sound kind of weird, but I have people look in front of the mirror
00:27:44.540
and just spend time with themselves and ask themselves some questions.
00:27:51.320
And when you combine that with high levels of urgency, and for me, urgency means, you
00:27:56.020
know, one of my practical ways to create urgency in life, because Seneca on the shortness
00:28:00.940
And he talks about how much time we waste and how short of this experience is.
00:28:06.460
And we know that this experience is extremely short.
00:28:08.560
I wrote in the book, 150,000 people die every single day.
00:28:17.200
I've actually made, you know, my own death, a practical application to allow myself to,
00:28:24.780
And it's like, man, I don't want to wait until my parents pass away.
00:28:28.800
I don't want to wait until more people pass away in my life to actually wake up.
00:28:32.200
I was at a cemetery recently and there were young kids there, five years and younger.
00:28:37.480
Man, I was just bursting into tears because I was looking at them and they all left legacies.
00:28:40.840
They were here for two, three, four, five years.
00:28:46.340
He, you know, made everyone feel this way, et cetera, et cetera.
00:28:48.680
And it's like, if that type of stuff doesn't wake you up, if you don't have the hunger within,
00:28:53.180
you can listen to every episode of Order of Man.
00:28:55.360
You can listen to every episode of Resist Average.
00:28:58.840
You can get 1% rule, but man, we can't flip that switch for you.
00:29:02.480
And so it's very hard to answer that question because I just tell people,
00:29:05.480
create some space in your life, disconnect, and find out what you really want.
00:29:08.980
And if that doesn't spark you up, no book, no seminar, no program, no mentorship, no Jim Will.
00:29:18.460
Guys, this is probably the last week you're going to hear me talk about it
00:29:22.460
If you haven't heard me mention it before, this is our three and a half day experience.
00:29:25.820
It's in the mountains of Southern Utah, my backyard.
00:29:28.920
It's unlike any event that you've ever attended before.
00:29:31.960
We've got physical challenges, challenges to test you mentally and physically.
00:29:35.920
And of course, the brotherhood, the camaraderie that you can come to expect from any Order of Man experience.
00:29:40.740
My goal during the three and a half days that we're going to be spending together
00:29:43.220
is to make you bleed, is to make you sweat, is to make you cry.
00:29:46.020
And frankly, these things men don't really get all that much of in their everyday, ordinary, mundane lives.
00:29:51.720
My team and I are there to create new revelations in your own patterns and behaviors,
00:29:56.580
and then uncover the reasons that you perform the way you do in your life.
00:30:00.760
And then we're going to give you the framework for developing new thoughts and new ideas and new habits.
00:30:05.740
So if you can make it, or if you're at least interested in learning more about what it's about,
00:30:10.040
including the video from our last event, head to orderofman.com slash uprising.
00:30:17.960
I do hope to see you there again, only three spots left.
00:30:20.120
Now, with that said, let's get back to the conversation with Tommy.
00:30:24.740
You bring up this really interesting perspective of focusing on death.
00:30:29.080
And, you know, I talk about it and I think it's kind of a popular thing to address.
00:30:33.780
And I think it's something that a lot of people are aware of.
00:30:36.080
But I'm thinking about this, as you say this, one thing that I've noticed in my own life is
00:30:40.260
I have a little bit of a fear of flying and not so much that it cripples me not to fly,
00:30:48.400
And I noticed this last trip that every time I'm about to go on a flight for like two or
00:30:54.200
three days leading up to it, I'm a little nicer and more engaged with my kids.
00:31:03.300
Well, I think somewhere in the back of my brain, like there's a potential and a risk
00:31:12.720
So I wonder how much more effective I would be in all areas of life if I focused on that
00:31:18.700
every single day as opposed to when I'm going to go on a flight.
00:31:22.720
And again, people will say like, this is like this kind of negative.
00:31:25.580
Like, I don't want to focus on death every single day.
00:31:27.580
But I mean, it's reality and anything else is just distracting and avoiding from reality.
00:31:31.860
And so to me, I actually see it as a beautiful thing.
00:31:33.820
So I have daily practices that connect me to my last days.
00:31:36.980
Now, obviously, I don't know when those are going to come, so I just use visualization
00:31:42.840
If I had a blank sheet of paper, it's my funeral and people are saying, how did Tommy's life
00:31:49.440
And if that doesn't wake you up, same thing with you, like, because this is always on
00:31:52.400
my mind because I love stoicism and all they talk about this a lot.
00:31:55.600
And I say, if this was my last interaction with Taylor, my amazing girlfriend, if this was
00:32:01.620
And it could be a random call on a Tuesday at 4 p.m.
00:32:04.620
Like, did I say everything that I wanted to say?
00:32:06.940
Because, man, I'm about to get on the freeway and you never know what's going to happen.
00:32:10.120
When I talk to my parents or clients or whatever, it's like, did I look at them in the eye and
00:32:16.600
And I think if we can harness this, it actually becomes a beautiful, beautiful practice.
00:32:22.980
And I've done some pretty intense stuff around it that just, it keeps you grounded into what's
00:32:27.060
I mean, Steve Jobs, I quote him in the book, right?
00:32:30.480
He says, listen, in the face of death, you have massive clarity.
00:32:34.180
You understand that only a few things in life matter.
00:32:36.680
And what happens is we start to stack all of these things in life that don't matter.
00:32:40.240
They just add on through time, experiences, et cetera, et cetera.
00:32:49.120
And most importantly, the legacy that we want to leave this place with.
00:32:52.380
And when you can live from that, dude, every interaction is deep.
00:32:56.340
You have an interaction with a cashier at the grocery store.
00:33:10.740
One of the things that I've really been focused on over the past three or four weeks or so
00:33:15.040
is the process of elimination in my life and decluttering from physically decluttering
00:33:20.860
my office, decluttering our house, selling things we don't need, giving things away,
00:33:27.740
I can't even begin to describe how many emails I've unsubscribed from thousands and thousands
00:33:38.820
If I didn't, I'll make sure I do it after this conversation.
00:33:40.860
And you know what's really interesting about that is it allows me to focus on what is significant
00:33:45.380
in my life and eliminates a lot of the clutter and the noise and the confusion and the distraction
00:33:52.120
on this trivial nonsense that we are inundated with on a daily basis and just gives me so
00:33:58.540
much focus, clarity, and fulfillment because I have the time to focus on the things that
00:34:12.640
And so I go, I take people through an exercise and it's called audit deletion.
00:34:16.200
And now I say you should do this every quarter, but to be honest, you should do it every single
00:34:19.660
And I'm always asking my clients, Hey, what did you delete today?
00:34:24.540
And I don't care if it's something like an addiction to some Netflix show that isn't serving
00:34:28.320
you or, you know, I'll give you an example of one that I did recently.
00:34:31.620
So on the topic of travel, travel also stresses me out.
00:34:34.400
And it's just, I'm a very routine guy, sleep supplements, the whole thing.
00:34:38.560
So I know no matter how refreshing of a trip I take, when I get home, my mind's on overdrive
00:34:43.580
thinking on what I have to do, what I haven't done, et cetera, et cetera.
00:34:46.220
So I identified that a messy place takes my energy away.
00:34:51.220
A messy place actually pulls me further from my vision.
00:34:56.140
And so a simple hack that I did or not a hack, something I just put into my life was, okay,
00:35:00.300
every time I take a trip, I'm going to hire somebody.
00:35:03.780
So when I walk in, I don't care what state I'm in, I'm relaxed.
00:35:13.700
And I know people are going to be like, a hundred, yeah, right.
00:35:16.000
Because you're going to find, when you do a hundred, you're going to find the small
00:35:18.400
stuff, mental real estate that we think is insignificant, like scrolling on Instagram
00:35:26.020
And so we make a list on the left, people, places, environments, media, even food.
00:35:31.520
And on the right side, we do the same thing with stuff that gives us energy.
00:35:36.620
Immediately, I guarantee with anybody I've ever done this with, you can delete at least
00:35:43.360
We have no space and we have no bandwidth and we have no capacity.
00:35:46.500
And this is what people get messed up in personal development and growth, entrepreneurship.
00:35:56.220
We're wanting to add 19 new action steps every week.
00:36:02.720
And every single week, just find one thing to delete, one thing to shift, one thing to
00:36:08.060
And you'll create space for the stuff that truly matters.
00:36:13.160
Audit, like taking an audit, audit, audit deletion.
00:36:19.480
Anytime you experience what I call a level up, maybe you go to an event.
00:36:28.040
I'm going to take inventory of the environments that I'm in, the places.
00:36:37.060
You and I are not the same person when we interviewed on a podcast two years ago or whatever
00:36:44.100
And that means through that change, guess what has changed?
00:36:48.680
We've changed businesses, et cetera, et cetera.
00:36:50.840
And it's a beautiful process for people to implement.
00:36:55.520
I need to jump back to something we were talking about earlier.
00:36:59.340
And I think it's challenging because a lot of guys feel like maybe that's burnt out or
00:37:04.040
And you talked about, man, if you don't have it, there's not a whole lot you can coach to
00:37:07.400
But I do think that there's things that we can do in our lives to stoke that inner fire.
00:37:20.020
But the way that I was able to stoke that in my life, number one was to take some action.
00:37:26.280
When you take a step and you start taking action towards something, anything, I think
00:37:32.320
When you find other people that are uplifting, motivating, inspiring, that starts to light
00:37:37.880
When you find content, whether it's this podcast, your podcast, your book, 1% rule or my book
00:37:42.460
or whatever it may be and consuming that information.
00:37:45.140
These are all ways that you can stoke the fire because I truly believe we all have that
00:37:49.900
And it's our job on a daily basis to stoke that thing, to grow that thing to a bonfire
00:37:56.300
And for some of us, it's become, it's just barely, it's got a little bit of a spark.
00:38:08.240
I'll tell people that and they're like, there's no way you didn't have this fire before.
00:38:18.260
For me, I tell people, hey, listen, this is all we're going to do.
00:38:20.540
You're going to do one thing that you enjoy, that nobody has to tell you to do, that you
00:38:24.260
just enjoy every single day, that you haven't done in a while, and something that just gives
00:38:31.040
And so it starts to begin this process of getting out of what you call this rut or this
00:38:39.520
And to me, it's not about going out to necessarily get something.
00:38:43.480
It's remove the obstacles that are in the way of that fire and start to, like you said,
00:38:49.120
take a little bit of action, move forward, do something different.
00:38:59.360
And so one of the great ways to stoke this fire, to at least give it a spark, is to do something
00:39:04.700
If you normally wouldn't go to the boxing class, jump in.
00:39:08.560
If you normally wouldn't go to the personal development seminar, jump in.
00:39:12.200
If you normally would sit around thinking about what you're going to do, actually do
00:39:18.960
Something that just scares you a little bit, you jump into it.
00:39:22.140
That starts to bring the fire up just a little bit.
00:39:24.100
And if we can bring the fire up just a little bit, every single day we start to create the
00:39:27.480
momentum and we can get it right back to a place that we thought was we'd never get
00:39:32.460
Well, let's go back to these obstacles because you mentioned it just barely.
00:39:35.240
And I think we completely went off on a tangent, which was good.
00:39:41.060
The one that stood out to me, and I think a lot of guys would be interested in hearing
00:39:43.980
about, is this notion and idea of the highlight reel.
00:39:47.000
So can you explain what that means and then why that's a myth and why that becomes a challenge
00:39:52.720
And it's just this kind of cultural deal where we look at the, we look at quote unquote
00:39:58.500
success stories and we look at how people came out of nowhere and then we disqualify
00:40:03.520
So we don't know their story and so we say, well, hey, that person had money.
00:40:11.120
It's the worst practice you can do to disqualify somebody else's success.
00:40:14.900
And because what you're saying is they're on a pedestal and they have something that
00:40:18.040
So inherently your power to create is absolutely gone because, hey, if you didn't come from
00:40:22.200
that town, if you didn't come from this connection, then how are you going to be able
00:40:26.660
And so the overnight success came from just studying so many different seemingly overnight
00:40:33.040
successes, you know, bands that came out of nowhere.
00:40:35.680
But then when you look at their story, they spent years touring in a piece of crap van
00:40:40.180
and middle of nowhere, barely making it, being ripped off by labels and all of the stuff to
00:40:46.900
Like Good Will Hunting was a movie that everyone's like where these two guys came out of nowhere.
00:40:51.000
And when you look at them, they had both been Damon had been in the had been in the game
00:40:55.840
And they just wrote themselves that part because they were struggling, even though they were
00:41:05.720
I love the stories of doubt, of failure, of trying, of pivoting, because it gives me back
00:41:14.740
And there's no such thing as overnight success.
00:41:17.320
Everybody, people come from different evolutions and different things happen at different times.
00:41:20.640
And of course, like if you have a higher level of skill set and you're at the right time,
00:41:28.560
And I wanted to get rid of this myth, especially in a social media age.
00:41:32.600
And what are the messages that I try to promote?
00:41:33.900
One of the reasons why on my Instagram, I'll show me when I was writing the book, I was showing
00:41:39.680
And it's like, this is not what they're going to tell you it takes.
00:41:42.700
But if you want something really bad, like you might have to do something like this.
00:41:46.540
And it's not going to make the highlight reel, but it's part of the process.
00:41:52.080
This is a lot of the reason I don't resonate with the term superpower.
00:41:58.040
And what I have realized is there's not a single person out there that is a superhero,
00:42:02.980
Nobody has some superpower that guarantees them success.
00:42:06.440
And I think the more that we subscribe to that notion, the more that we do ourselves
00:42:11.160
injustice because we don't believe that we're powerful or that we have the superpower when
00:42:16.340
all it really is, is just getting good at a handful of things and executing relentlessly.
00:42:21.520
And at that small snippet, getting good at a handful of things, right?
00:42:24.940
Which means to me, it just says, you're going to pick skills that you're going to master
00:42:29.600
Like if we just snipped the whole podcast to that and people did that, the amount of
00:42:33.460
not only results that they would see, but the fulfillment within that process would
00:42:39.540
And then I'll cut everything that you just set out and it'll be a 10 second podcast and
00:42:50.840
So what you do in the book is you go through some, some skill sets, some things that you
00:42:55.220
need to develop in your life, you know, focus, persistence, endurance.
00:43:00.860
And for the sake of time, and we can't get to it all, but I am really curious about the
00:43:05.120
difference in the perspective that you have in persistence versus endurance.
00:43:11.980
Why do you have two separate chapters for that?
00:43:14.620
So this is the backend of the equation that I, that, that I came up with.
00:43:18.080
And one of the things that I talk about endurance is the last piece of the game.
00:43:21.440
So, so persistence to me is that, and I really borrowed a lot of this from Angela Duckworth's
00:43:28.380
To me are the same thing, but it's like, it's, that's kind of that attitude that, that it's
00:43:32.140
like, Hey, whatever comes my way, like, I'm going to keep going.
00:43:35.700
I'm going to keep going no matter what comes my way.
00:43:37.860
The adversity, you know, for a long time in my entrepreneurship journey, I was, you know,
00:43:42.080
and everybody has a story, so it's not anything new, but you know, I'd have to make the decision,
00:43:45.900
man, am I going to get gas or am I going to get food today?
00:43:47.620
And it's like, but deep down, deep down, I knew, like I knew without a shadow of a doubt,
00:43:52.260
I believe that there was something greater for me and that my current circumstances did not define
00:44:01.980
And there's this residue effect where I was putting in so much work, the results hadn't
00:44:07.180
And so to me, grit and persistence is just being able to look at circumstances in your life
00:44:16.500
Use that as fuel, but don't use it to say that you're, that you're not worthy, that you
00:44:25.260
And so to me, grit is about facing adversity and endurance is like, how long are you willing
00:44:30.940
Everybody wants to treat this game like it's a two mile race.
00:44:33.600
And I might not be the guy who's going all out from the start, but I'm going to keep moving.
00:44:38.520
And I, and during the endurance piece, I have a thing that says endurance is messy and deal
00:44:43.700
Endurance requires a lot of mental, physical, and emotional stamina.
00:44:47.560
And I gave a story about David Goggins, which is a super intense story about him.
00:44:53.320
The story where he was finishing the 100 mile event and he, and there's nothing messier
00:45:02.700
And so again, this goes, goes back to expectation.
00:45:10.960
But can you have enough grit to look at your circumstance and say, okay, I'm going to keep
00:45:16.880
Because so many people, Ryan, they give up when they're three feet from gold, they give up right
00:45:22.140
And so they're constantly hopping from thing to thing, business to business, relationship
00:45:26.180
to the relationship, always looking for that silver bullet when, hey, you had it all along.
00:45:33.600
And obviously, we could go so much more in depth in this.
00:45:37.880
And there's so many more chapters and conversations and bullet points and topics to be had here.
00:45:41.720
But just for the sake of time, guys, go out and pick a copy of the book up.
00:45:49.080
And Tommy, you and I are in alignment with probably about 99.9% of the things that we
00:45:56.480
Hey, as we wind down, I want to ask you a couple of questions.
00:46:00.100
So I'm curious to see how this may have changed or evolved.
00:46:02.320
And that question is, what does it mean to be a man?
00:46:06.520
And so to me, right now in my evolution, being a man means to really be the beacon.
00:46:13.340
Be the beacon physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
00:46:17.760
When I say be the beacon, that just means that you are grounded in who you are.
00:46:27.820
And it means being a leader, and most importantly, a leader for your own life.
00:46:31.560
Because when you can lead yourself in a world where everybody's searching for external
00:46:35.620
leaders outside of themselves, you actually become that beacon.
00:46:38.640
And when you become that beacon, that affects not only you, your family, the people around
00:46:43.140
you, but it creates the dent in the world that everybody's looking for.
00:46:48.160
How do we connect with you, learn more about what you're up to, and then, of course, pick
00:46:53.040
The best place for the book, 1% Rule, you'll find it on there.
00:46:56.820
And besides that, the best place to really connect with me is the Resist Average Academy podcast.
00:47:03.840
I believe episode 10, and then recently, I don't know the exact number, but I know it's
00:47:11.660
I mean, I don't even have to look at the numbers.
00:47:17.460
You know, if you follow Order of Men, we have a lot of similar ethos, and that would be a
00:47:24.780
Guys, go check out the book, Connect with Tommy.
00:47:30.880
I appreciate more than what you share here, which I do appreciate.
00:47:37.180
It's been good over the past two, three years to watch you evolve and grow and morph into
00:47:41.000
something truly inspiring for me and millions of people across the planet.
00:47:45.120
So, brother, I appreciate you for taking the time to join us today.
00:47:48.600
You're one of the guys, when I'm running up one of these mountains in Arizona, there's
00:47:54.120
And when you see another guy who's busting his ass, you don't say anything.
00:47:57.760
You just acknowledge him, and you look each other in the eye, and you know, hey, we're
00:48:01.860
And for us on our journeys, I see the same thing, man.
00:48:04.420
So, massive respect for what you do and what you've created, but most importantly, who you
00:48:09.120
We'll have to do that when I come down there, although I imagine you will run circles around
00:48:15.240
I'm a little concerned about that, quite honestly.
00:48:25.160
My conversation with my good friend, Tommy Baker, I hope that you enjoyed this one.
00:48:31.860
You probably heard that, and I would definitely, definitely encourage you to pick up a copy
00:48:40.900
And if you would, give us a shout out on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, wherever.
00:48:45.480
There might be new ones I'm not even aware of, but wherever you are on social media, we're
00:48:50.220
So just search for Order of Man, connect with me, connect with Tommy there, and let us
00:48:57.480
Let us know what you're going to be implementing in your life.
00:48:59.940
If you've read the book, give him a shout out for that and tell him how much you appreciate
00:49:05.480
Guys, outside of that, just a reminder of our brotherhood, The Iron Council.
00:49:12.060
Orderofman.com slash Iron Council is where you can go to learn a little bit more.
00:49:15.800
And then our three and a half day experience in the mountains of Southern Utah, it's called
00:49:30.080
And then the last thing is I had mentioned my good friend over at Origin.
00:49:34.140
If you go to originmain.com slash orderofman, you can check out what they're up to, what
00:49:39.560
they're doing with regards to their training and their compression gear and their nutrition
00:49:45.840
I use that nutrition line very, very regularly.
00:49:50.460
So guys, with that said, I'm going to call it a day.
00:49:56.640
If you would please share this podcast with another man that you feel would benefit from
00:50:00.660
the message that we're sharing here within the order.
00:50:04.280
I'm excited to be reclaiming what it means to be a man together.
00:50:07.040
I could not, could not do this without you guys.
00:50:09.160
But until Friday, guys, take action and become the man you are meant to be.
00:50:12.880
Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast.
00:50:16.500
If you're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be,
00:50:20.440
we invite you to join the order at orderofman.com.