Order of Man - 160： The Value Proposition ｜ Tyler Harris

00:00:00.000 Adding value is a phrase that we have all heard, like any other word the marketers of the world

00:00:04.680 get a hold of. It begins to lose some of its meaning when it's overused, but that overuse

00:00:09.580 doesn't make it any less valuable as a strategy for growth and success. My guest today, Tyler

00:00:14.200 Harris is using the idea of adding value to create a hugely successful social media business on top

00:00:19.820 of his already existing success in the financial services industry. Today, we talk about how

00:00:25.200 personal responsibility lies at the foundation of success, how and why every man should develop

00:00:30.420 more presence, why people are starving for the truth, and how the value proposition is so powerful.

00:00:37.040 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart your

00:00:42.060 own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time, every time. You are not easily

00:00:48.040 deterred, defeated, rugged, resilient, strong. This is your life. This is who you are. This is

00:00:55.360 who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself

00:01:00.740 a man. Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Michler, and I am the host and founder of

00:01:06.840 this podcast and this movement, frankly, The Order of Man. Whether you're new or been here for a long

00:01:11.780 time, I want to welcome you. I believe this is the best podcast available on the subject of

00:01:17.720 masculinity and taking back what it means to be a man, which I believe, and I know a lot of you

00:01:22.100 believe as well. This is much needed in society. Our goal and our mission here is to equip you with

00:01:27.360 the tools and the resources and then have the conversations with other highly successful men

00:01:32.220 distill and impart some of their wisdom with you, with me, so we can take that information and those

00:01:38.200 exercises and those thought processes and the things that they've done, the lessons they've learned,

00:01:42.220 the good, the bad, the ugly, and use them in our lives to improve for ourselves, our families,

00:01:46.680 our businesses, our communities, every front that we as men are and should be fighting.

00:01:50.620 So I am glad that you are here joining us. We've got, as always, an incredible, incredible lineup

00:01:55.500 coming forward, so make sure that you subscribe so you never miss one of these episodes. And also,

00:02:00.440 and I don't ask this a whole lot, but if there's somebody that you would like me to reach out to,

00:02:04.920 please let me know. Shoot me a message on Facebook or Instagram and email, wherever it may be.

00:02:10.180 Just shoot me a message and let me know, hey, here's somebody that you should have on,

00:02:13.680 and I will take a look at what they're up to and see if that's a fit and see if I can get ahold of

00:02:17.780 them and we'll make this show work for you. That's the goal. We want to have the conversations

00:02:22.360 that you and me and all these guys want to have as men. So guys, I don't have a whole lot of

00:02:27.200 announcements today. One thing I did want to share with you is that I am very, very active over on

00:02:32.220 Facebook, facebook.com slash groups slash order of man. You can join us there. And I've done a lot more

00:02:38.320 on Twitter, which is twitter.com slash order of man. And then I also am on Instagram and I do a lot

00:02:44.940 over there and I'm doing different things in every one of those platforms. So join us in each one of

00:02:49.900 those or join us in all of them. And then at Instagram, I'm at Ryan Michler at Ryan Michler.

00:02:55.340 My last name is spelled M I C H L E R. And I love to connect with people on any of those social media

00:03:00.920 platforms. So I'm looking forward to connecting outside of that. I do want to mention our show sponsor,

00:03:05.880 but more than just being a show sponsor, these are friends of mine, origin, Maine. I use their

00:03:10.620 products. I use their services. I believe wholeheartedly in what Pete Roberts is doing

00:03:14.940 over there. We've managed to build a friendship up over the past several months since he was on the

00:03:19.380 podcast. And the thing I like most about this company besides their products, of course, and I'll

00:03:23.640 talk about that here in a second is I just enjoy their story. I like their story. I like what they're

00:03:27.900 doing. Their goal is to take back American manufacturing. They claim a hundred percent made in America

00:03:35.000 without compromise. And in fact, they had some compression pants they wanted to make available.

00:03:39.100 And they'd been thinking about releasing these for two years, but the little elastic waistband on

00:03:44.240 these pants wasn't manufactured in America. So they sat on this product for years and years because

00:03:50.740 they couldn't uphold that claim of a hundred percent American made. And frankly, nobody would have known,

00:03:55.860 but these guys have integrity. So they went to the manufacturing, they figured it all out.

00:04:01.400 Finally, they got ahold of some of these elastic bands that are made in America and they

00:04:04.980 just released those compression pants. They do that. They do training gear, lifestyle apparel.

00:04:09.900 And then the thing that I use the most is part of their nutritional division and supplement lineup.

00:04:15.440 Pete has partnered with Jocko Willink. I know a lot of you guys follow Jocko and they have,

00:04:19.760 again, this nutritional division and supplements. It's the joint warfare, which is really, really good

00:04:24.300 for the joints, especially if you're rolling around on the mats or working hard. I do a lot of

00:04:28.740 CrossFit, which can be at times difficult and hard on the joints. So that has helped me there.

00:04:32.780 Also, their super krill that I take every single day and their supplement discipline. So guys,

00:04:38.620 go check that out. And I think you'll enjoy their products as much as I do. So if you head to

00:04:42.740 origin, O-R-I-G-I-N, Maine is in the state Maine, M-A-I-N-E.com slash order of man. You can learn a

00:04:50.720 little bit about their story. They've got some incredible videos over there, and then you can

00:04:53.480 check out their products and services. And then also use the code order, O-R-D-E-R,

00:04:58.780 all caps at checkout for 5% off. Again, it's origin, Maine.com slash order of man,

00:05:04.320 and then use an all caps order at checkout and you'll get that discount. I think again,

00:05:08.780 you're going to like them as much as I do. That's it guys. That's all I've got. As far

00:05:11.980 as announcements go, I do want to get into the conversation today. I have the honor of

00:05:15.540 introducing you to somebody who I've been following for a little while now, not too long,

00:05:19.660 but I have been extremely, extremely impressed by his level of dedication and discipline when it comes

00:05:25.500 to building his new business venture using the power of social media. I know a lot of you guys

00:05:30.400 are as well as we are here within the order of man. I talk with a lot of people who want to build

00:05:35.300 these social media movements and movements and organizations using those social tools,

00:05:40.500 but I talk with very few of them who are doing it in a way that actually moves the needle in the

00:05:45.660 right direction. And as I got to know more about Tyler's story, I can see why he's been able to move

00:05:50.540 the needle. He's been hugely successful in establishing relationships and putting in a

00:05:55.000 ton of work, just a lot of consistent work and discipline in order to thrive in the financial

00:06:00.420 services industry, which I know from experience, because in another life I was a financial advisor.

00:06:05.360 I still have my financial planning practice, and this is a very, very hard market to break into,

00:06:10.140 but now he's applying those same principles to his new endeavors. And that's what he's going to be

00:06:14.620 sharing with us today. Tyler, what's going on, man? Thanks for joining me on the show today.

00:06:21.620 Man, I am happy to be here, Ryan.

00:06:23.620 It's been a long time in the works, hasn't it?

00:06:25.560 It has. It has. I mean, we're two busy guys, and I guess that's what this is all about, right?

00:06:29.800 That's how it goes. But like I said, I'm excited to have you on today. You know,

00:06:32.600 one thing I've always noticed about you since I started following you is your

00:06:35.520 commitment to being consistent and disciplined in what you're doing. And that's where I want to start

00:06:40.420 things off because I think it's very easy for guys to be good for a week or a month or

00:06:44.440 potentially maybe even a year. But I've always been impressed with your level of

00:06:48.760 consistency. Where does that come from, man?

00:06:51.820 One thing that I think all my friends, family would say about me is that I'm just an all-in

00:06:57.680 kind of guy. And when I get on something, I don't really have any other mode but all-in. And so

00:07:04.960 when I decided to finally put myself out there, which took a long time to get to that point,

00:07:09.440 but when I did finally decide to put myself out there on social media and try to provide as much

00:07:14.080 value as humanly possible, I just went all-in on it. And it sounds cliche. I mean,

00:07:18.880 consistency is key. But for me, it's just like checking off boxes. Like if I know like,

00:07:24.260 hey, you're supposed to do this, this, this, and this on a daily basis, well, then that's my score

00:07:28.260 card. And I can just go right off that. And I know at the end of the day, if I did those things,

00:07:32.200 then I won the day. And for me, that was just the easiest way to kind of embark on this crazy

00:07:38.660 journey on social media by doing the things that I knew I was supposed to do on a daily basis

00:07:42.540 and just going all-in. So what do you feel like, you say this crazy journey on social media,

00:07:47.300 what do you feel like your goal is, your priority? What is it that you're trying to build and

00:07:51.720 accomplish through the use of social media? So the specific answer to that changes on a

00:07:56.720 probably a weekly basis, but the platform from the very beginning was just to provide value. So

00:08:03.120 I own an insurance company. I still sell life insurance every single day. What happened to me over

00:08:08.680 the last three and a half years is not normal. And it was going from a place being flat broke,

00:08:14.900 in debt, depressed, recently divorced, overweight. I mean, you name it. I was there. Some mentors came

00:08:21.340 into my life. And over those next three and a half years, everything changed. Every aspect of my life

00:08:27.060 changed. And it was this feeling of this responsibility. I almost, it's almost to the point

00:08:31.960 of guilt. Like if that happened to me, who am I not to go and try to do that for other people?

00:08:36.140 And so what most people will do is they will say, okay, I'm going to take incremental amounts of

00:08:42.200 time away from the career and replace it over here with this extra stuff that I can replace that

00:08:49.080 income. Right? Like my mindset was, I'll go all in continually on my career. And then this extra is

00:08:55.420 just like it says, extra stuff I'm doing on top of all the normal stuff. And I made a commitment never

00:09:00.600 to monetize for five years. And when I said it the first time, it was like, holy crap, did I just say

00:09:06.360 five years? But now we're a year in, I got four years left. I've just turned that switch off so that

00:09:11.320 I didn't want that conversation between me and another person in a DM or in a Facebook message

00:09:16.640 or in an email to be transactional. I wanted to genuinely try to provide as much value as humanly

00:09:22.840 possible. The whole goal was to give that person that was where I was three and a half years,

00:09:27.800 that tiny little spark that they may need to make a change, like that tiny little bit of motivation

00:09:33.320 that may actually push them in the right direction to say, okay, yeah, this guy is pretty much

00:09:39.800 describing me right now. He made a change and look at what's happened. And no one ever knows these

00:09:44.920 things until hindsight, that the blessing on the other side of that struggle that you're going through

00:09:49.120 right now, you won't be able to receive it until you become the person that can. And that's why you're

00:09:53.800 in it. Like if you can understand that purpose and the struggle, that is to me the ultimate

00:09:58.080 encouragement because you can sit back and say, okay, this sucks right now. Like I am in a terrible

00:10:02.420 situation, but it is for a reason. And there is a purpose behind it. And it's to grow me into that

00:10:07.960 person that can ultimately receive the blessings on the other side. Like I'm not going to get it until

00:10:12.600 I become that person. And that for me was the ultimate encouragement to know that I got myself

00:10:18.360 into the situation I was in, I could get myself out of it. And that's just what I want to. I want

00:10:23.260 so many more people to understand that, that are currently in that battle.

00:10:26.840 Yeah. I think there's a lot of guys that continue to make the same mistakes over and over again.

00:10:30.840 They fall into the same patterns, the same habits. They're doing the same thing over and over again.

00:10:35.100 And what I'm hearing you say is basically you've got to learn the lesson, right? Like if you don't

00:10:39.420 learn whatever lesson is being taught, you are doomed to continue to make the same mistakes

00:10:44.460 over and over again. How did you make the transition or get out of the rut? If you will,

00:10:50.300 it's very easy to maintain the course that you're currently on and you've got to do something

00:10:54.060 extremely different to get out of that rut. How did you personally do that?

00:10:57.280 So just like you said, making those same mistakes over and over again, that means that you haven't

00:11:01.800 taken personal responsibility, that you haven't taken ownership for the outcome of those mistakes or for

00:11:07.820 the outcomes of those things that you're actually doing. So for me, it was literally as cliche as it

00:11:12.280 sounds. It was looking in the mirror and saying, okay, all this stuff, I had been playing the victim

00:11:16.440 for like a year and a half. At that point, my wife had had an affair. Whoa, he's me. Like,

00:11:21.920 let's feel sorry for Tyler. Like he went through this horrible thing. I got laid off, terminated,

00:11:25.960 crazy termination from a job that the situation was all happening without me knowing. And then I got

00:11:30.700 caught up in it and it terminated me from a job that I love. Oh, feel sorry for me. Like I lost this

00:11:35.320 great job. Like, Oh, it's not, not my fault. These things happen to me. These things happen to me.

00:11:39.980 These things happen to me. And it was that switch into these things like happened for me. And it was

00:11:44.260 that moment where I was like, you know what, if I had been the absolute best husband in the entire

00:11:49.100 world, created the best environment in my home that has ever been created, would that affair still

00:11:54.100 have happened? Maybe, but probably not. Right. The likelihood is significantly less.

00:11:59.600 Significantly less. And so that's me. That's my, like, that was my fault. And I love people get

00:12:03.740 uncomfortable when I say that, that my ex-wife having an affair was my fault, but it was my fault.

00:12:07.900 Like if I would have been the man I was supposed to be, that wouldn't have happened. And then the

00:12:11.180 termination, like if I had been more attuned to what was going on around me, like it would never

00:12:14.720 happen. So it's just taking that responsibility and owning it. Like so many people want to push

00:12:19.820 blame on other people for the situation that they're in. It's just like, Hey, good or bad.

00:12:23.960 Cause now I can sit here and say like where I am right now because of me. But when I was in a

00:12:29.000 terrible situation, it was a little tougher to sit there and be like, Tyler, this is your fault.

00:12:33.100 Like you got yourself. You are exactly where you're supposed to be because these are all the

00:12:37.040 things that led up to it. And there you are. But the encouragement again, is you got yourself in

00:12:41.980 it and you can get yourself out of it. And then that's what I started to do to just dig myself

00:12:45.640 out of that. Yeah. I think there's a lot of people that take that accountability and

00:12:48.660 responsibility and think that's a scary thing. And it is to some degree, because it means that

00:12:53.100 your failures are the result of your actions or lack thereof. But I look at it and I tend to think

00:12:59.780 that's actually an empowering thought to your point. Because again, if you put yourself in that

00:13:04.740 position and you were that powerful to do that to yourself, then by default, it means

00:13:09.780 you're just as powerful to create a new reality for yourself. You talked about mentors. I'm

00:13:15.200 really curious what you have to say about that. You said the phrase you used is came into my

00:13:19.080 life, but I'd be willing to bet it goes deeper than that. Is that something that you intentionally

00:13:23.340 sought out? Like how did that work to have these mentors come into your life?

00:13:27.260 You know, I don't know that the mentors were intentionally sought out in that the timing that when

00:13:33.240 they came in and that they had actually proactively reached out to me at that time and not me reached

00:13:37.760 out to them. But I think the relationship that was cultivated, which took effort on both parts,

00:13:43.700 was something that I had to put effort into and that I pushed and pushed and pushed and pushed.

00:13:50.040 I mean, it was literally as random as a Facebook message from a guy. It's a Facebook message from a

00:13:54.240 guy. They were looking to hire someone and I took them up on the conversation and ended up finding a

00:13:59.100 little bit more about the business that they were in. And it's so funny, my mentor, Joseph Caldwell,

00:14:03.740 the very first words out of his mouth to me when we met, very first words. He said,

00:14:08.300 hey man, what's the most money you've ever made in 12 months? The very first words out of his mouth.

00:14:12.420 And I asked him at that time, he was like 97,000. He said, 97,000. He's like, hmm,

00:14:17.200 you can do better than that. And then we just kind of went on our conversation. It was like,

00:14:20.600 it didn't even happen. And that's something I've been talking about lately. It's just

00:14:23.540 actually getting down to like, what are people's exact adjusted gross incomes? And just that's a

00:14:28.700 whole nother tangent. We can go off on later, but there was no right or wrong answer to that.

00:14:32.540 He just wanted to judge really how I reacted to the question, number one. And if I told him number

00:14:37.600 two, and then just, it gives him more context in the conversation. And so from there, I started

00:14:42.900 working with these guys, helping build out a system with our insurance company. And they basically,

00:14:48.680 I like the term breathe life into me. Like they just, they saw something in myself that I didn't

00:14:55.200 see in myself at that time, as far as breathing confidence back in me. I mean, when you go through

00:14:59.900 some of the things that I had gone through, my confidence just was at an all time low. And I was

00:15:04.540 afraid to go all in. Like in the beginning, I talked about my friends always saying that I would

00:15:08.620 be one that would go all in. I was afraid to go all in again, especially on the career, because of

00:15:13.360 this fear that it could be taken away from me again. And they just gave me this audacity to

00:15:18.640 just 100% go all in on this business that we created. And I mean, the very next 12 months

00:15:25.740 made over $300,000 in the next 12 months, I got myself out of debt in 11 days after getting

00:15:31.360 started. But it took time, like, I don't like people hearing that go, Oh, that's great. When

00:15:35.920 I first met them, I waited a year for actually coming on board with them. It's just the time

00:15:41.360 wasn't right. Like timing's everything. I just wasn't ready to do that yet. I was doing some

00:15:45.000 other things. But when I finally committed and went all in, and they really just locked arms with

00:15:49.840 me. I mean, they gave me every support that I ever could need, and really just plugged me into a

00:15:54.880 system. I had the hard work ethic, I just needed a good system to be plugged into that I could just

00:15:59.340 put my head down and go to work. And they gave me on really empowered me with the ability to go out

00:16:04.360 and do that. And became family. I mean, these guys are brothers to me, they're in the office next door

00:16:09.060 here. And I'm now owner of this business with them. And it's just been something that like I've

00:16:14.840 owed them a tremendous debt for starting and being a catalyst of change in my life. And that's the

00:16:21.440 reason why I now want to do that for other people. I think I saw a number. I can't remember what it was.

00:16:26.320 You can tell me what it was. How many life insurance policies did you sell in 2017?

00:16:31.100 In 2017, it was like 2,137 or something like that.

00:16:36.100 I mean, you think about that. That's roughly, if my math right, roughly, let's just call it six

00:16:40.540 policies a day, every single day for 365 days. That to me is just insane. Talk to me about how

00:16:49.920 you make things like that happen. I mean, and obviously it didn't happen every single day.

00:16:53.580 You sold this many policies, but those are the averages. But talk to me about how it happened.

00:16:57.660 You couldn't be asking me this at any better of time because I just got back. I travel three to

00:17:01.840 four nights a week. And I just got back from Georgia, which is normally the area that I'm

00:17:05.640 traveling in. And I just got done writing 182 life insurance policies in four days.

00:17:10.560 Yeah, right. Exactly.

00:17:11.800 So the average life insurance agent in America that does it for a full-time career sells 150

00:17:16.560 policies a year. That's like the statistic. What has enabled us to do those type of volumes

00:17:21.080 is creating a system around an extremely narrow niche. That's my biggest sales advice or really

00:17:28.600 business advice in general that I give to people is you have to create and carve out that niche.

00:17:33.400 And most people think narrow like I'm a real estate agent. I'm like, hey, I'm going to be a real

00:17:37.280 estate agent and I'm going to focus on the east side of town. That's not near narrow enough. You

00:17:41.620 need to focus on first-time homebuyers looking for one-story homes in the 100 to 200 price range

00:17:48.460 on the east side of town. They become the expert on that. What we did is we carved out this niche and we

00:17:54.200 began to understand those people better than they even understand themselves in what we say,

00:17:59.960 how we say it, how we dress, the things that we pass out. Every single word that comes out of my

00:18:06.480 mouth has been methodically just thought out. It's all intentional. And to me, that's the ultimate

00:18:14.520 form of respect because I am giving a message to someone in the exact way that they can receive it

00:18:20.500 best, which to me, that's just the best way of respecting a customer and a potential client.

00:18:24.840 But by doing that and going all in on that one niche, we've been able to refine all of our

00:18:29.960 systems. It's no different than the manufacturing process. Once you figure out how to make something,

00:18:33.400 you're refining everything and how to make it faster. So when we did that, we were able to cut

00:18:37.380 down these presentations into short presentations and then meeting with people one-on-one in a very

00:18:42.800 quick fashion that I can get in and out in a matter of minutes and sell two, three policies in five

00:18:48.480 minutes with someone after I've given a presentation to a group of them. It's just going all in on a narrow

00:18:52.760 niche. But I think the key there is those people do not ever go as narrow as they should.

00:18:58.460 Yeah. I want to get to that in a second. But one of the things you said was this level of respect.

00:19:02.280 And I think that's a hundred percent accurate. I think what a lot of people probably hear when you

00:19:06.840 say that is that it's somehow inauthentic or even potentially manipulation. I don't look at it

00:19:12.820 like that at all. I tend to take your viewpoint, which is, Hey, I respect you. I want to do this

00:19:17.580 right by you. I want to do it in a way that's significant and relevant for you

00:19:21.620 and create a ultimate win-win situation here. I think a lot of people have this idea that somehow

00:19:26.900 if you're sold something that it comes at the expense of another human being. And I definitely

00:19:31.060 don't think it needs to be that way. Especially when you're dealing with life insurance. I mean,

00:19:35.540 no one's passionate about selling life insurance. Like no one really loves and is like super happy to

00:19:40.820 wake up in the morning and sell life insurance. But in how we've created this system, it enables us to

00:19:46.540 become passionate about the message that we're delivering because we tell the stories

00:19:51.180 of what happens when people die. And that my favorite line in the world, and some people see

00:19:55.960 this as insensitive. It's just truth is everyone gets to choose the legacy that they leave behind.

00:20:02.500 Everyone gets to choose. And in the realm of life insurance, if you think about that,

00:20:06.320 you get to choose like when you die, what happens? Do you want that legacy to be that your family had to

00:20:12.040 create a GoFundMe page? Your church had to do a bake sale so they could put you in the freaking 0.85

00:20:16.820 ground. Or take money in lieu of flowers, right? That's the thing you see a lot. Exactly. Or do you 0.98

00:20:22.240 want to leave them better financially than when you were even there and make it to where that they just

00:20:28.480 have to go through the grieving process, not also a gigantic financial burden because of you. Because

00:20:34.460 I promise you, again, it's insensitive, but that will taint that legacy if you put your family in

00:20:39.960 dire straits financially when you're gone. We're just very blunt. We just give people the truth

00:20:45.660 and the facts, and then they can do that with what they will. We do not sell. I think another

00:20:49.840 important, when you're talking about that respect, we serve. We do not sell. We serve. I'm there to

00:20:55.180 serve them, and I'm there to solve a problem that they have, which is if something happens,

00:20:59.940 are they going to be taken care of? And we serve them. We don't sell. I tell them in our briefing,

00:21:03.600 I tell them, if you choose to purchase additional coverage today, that's great. If you don't,

00:21:08.160 that's great. I promise you I'm going to eat lunch here in an hour, and I promise you I'm

00:21:11.920 going to eat dinner tonight. It's not important to me whether you do, but it's important to your

00:21:15.240 family. We're just very blunt about things, but I think when you're especially talking about

00:21:19.440 something as sensitive as life insurance and death and things like that, that the more blunt that you

00:21:24.860 can be, it just is what it is. You don't have to sugarcoat things. Tell the real story and be honest

00:21:30.520 with people, and people will resonate with that. I think the truth is refreshing too. I mean,

00:21:34.920 we get conned and we get sold and we get sold a bill of goods and people saying things that they

00:21:40.080 think we want to hear. And I think we have an ability to see right through that stuff. And so

00:21:43.880 as difficult as these conversations are to have it, quite honestly, it's refreshing to have somebody

00:21:49.660 just say, this is how it is black and white. Don't like it. Don't care. It's the truth, regardless of

00:21:55.420 how you feel about it. I think that's refreshing. Now you talk about this narrow niche. How does that work

00:22:00.320 in relationship to what you're doing now? Cause you talk about, Hey, we're not going to monetize

00:22:04.380 for four more years. We're kind of just spreading this message to the masses. How do you see this

00:22:09.020 applying and translating over into what you're doing now, as opposed to what the insurance industry?

00:22:14.600 That's a great question. And to be honest, a lot of this long-term four years from now has not been

00:22:22.000 thought through. And I think there's an important distinction there. And when I met with Gary Vaynerchuk

00:22:27.020 down at this event in Miami three weeks ago, and I was telling him about what I've been up to since

00:22:31.160 the last time I saw him. And I explained about turning that switch and not monetizing, not selling

00:22:35.500 anything for five years. You know, Gary, like Gary, he understands two words in your entire narrative,

00:22:41.080 your entire paragraph. He's like, got it, got it, got it. So he instantly said, no, no, no, you don't

00:22:46.800 understand. If you do that for five years, you'll never think about monetizing ever because that's how

00:22:53.040 you win. People don't do that. And if you can provide that much disproportionate value for five

00:22:58.300 years, and I'm not just talking about getting on Facebook every now and then and giving somebody

00:23:03.460 like a little like pound emoji, like comment back or something. I'm talking about investing heavily

00:23:09.080 in the time, energy, and quite frankly, the money. Like I spend a lot of money running Facebook ads,

00:23:15.400 Instagram ads, and doing all these things with zero revenue coming in and knowing that and still

00:23:21.380 willing to do that stuff. When you get a message from someone that is like a life changing,

00:23:27.240 life altering message, like, hey, I heard you on this video, and you said this, and it just crushed

00:23:32.740 me. And I really internalized that. And now I have made these changes in my life. And now it's six

00:23:38.460 months later, and my business is better, my relationship with my wife is better. When you

00:23:42.060 start getting this message, and you know this, it changes everything. Like your mind is then opened to,

00:23:47.600 okay, if I can change that person's life, like how many more people and then when you hear people

00:23:51.160 talk about Gary, like, you know, what kind of drug is this guy on? How does he have so much energy?

00:23:55.440 Like imagine getting 5000 of those emails every single day? How would you not wake up every

00:24:00.800 morning just in a flat sprint, because you're making that big of an impact? And so I don't know

00:24:06.360 like what it'll look like four years from now. But what I know is, for me, it's just the law of

00:24:11.560 attraction. I am casting this net. And just like conversation that I'm having with you right now,

00:24:16.180 conversations I've had with Gerard Adams on Friday in New York, these relationships that I'm building,

00:24:22.740 these connections that are being created, just by putting a good message out, that in itself will

00:24:28.040 become a extremely positive ROI in the future. But what it looks like as far as, you know, I got to

00:24:32.860 start building this email list so that on January 11th of 2000, whatever that is, you know, 22,

00:24:38.740 I dropped this product that is nowhere in my realm of thought process right now.

00:24:43.740 I mean, it's a really interesting perspective because it's very similar to what we did with

00:24:47.220 order of man. I started three years ago. So March of 2015. And although I had more of a niche than I

00:24:54.560 think that you do at this point, I was very clear with that. I didn't really have any intention of

00:24:59.640 quote unquote monetizing. It was me just wanting to have conversations with some amazing men and then

00:25:04.860 put it out into the world. And I think that's exactly right. When you start doing that and just have

00:25:08.980 faith that the more value you provide, the more it will inevitably be returned to you. It's an

00:25:14.280 eternal principle, just works like that. I am really curious though, with what you have going

00:25:18.400 on with your insurance practice, what you have going on here, all the other things that I know

00:25:22.320 you're doing. And you talk about Gary V. How do you find time for some of these other things that

00:25:28.060 you place an emphasis on? Maybe those are hobbies, family, friends, some of these other things that we

00:25:32.960 don't necessarily see from the outside looking in. So I have a very interesting thought on this whole

00:25:39.360 work-life balance. I said for a long time that it just doesn't exist. It's just so unique to each and

00:25:45.100 every person based on a million different variables. Right. But my problem with that word work-life

00:25:50.300 balance is that the vast majority of the time that people are talking about it, they're talking about

00:25:56.160 it and they're framing that conversation around taking away from something. Like one or the other,

00:26:01.680 right? So if you've got a scale and this one's the need to spend more time with your family and

00:26:06.620 this one's the go to work and you say, I need to spend more time with my family. So let's say,

00:26:11.440 okay, so that would mean that one's down here, right? Right. Tip the scales, right? Well,

00:26:14.920 everyone talks about that as though you have to take away from the one that's heavier so that it

00:26:20.540 balances the scale. No one talks about adding to the one that's lighter so that it balances to the

00:26:25.500 scale. I don't ever have a conversation where there's someone that's like, oh man, you know what?

00:26:29.560 I've just been way too much of an incredible father lately. I really need to ease back on the

00:26:34.940 time with my daughter. No one has that conversation. Sure. They're always using that conversation as an

00:26:40.280 excuse to work less. Right. Every single time I have this conversation. And so my whole thing is

00:26:45.780 going all in in all areas. If you need to spend more time with your family, then that's fantastic.

00:26:50.580 Spend more time with your family. It doesn't mean you need to work less. It may mean that you need to

00:26:53.780 sleep a little less. It may mean that you need to have less hobbies or need to go to happy hour less,

00:27:00.040 you know, every Thursday and every Friday and all the things that you do on the weekends. Like you

00:27:04.360 may need to punt that stuff for a little while, but it doesn't mean that you need to put any less

00:27:09.860 emphasis on your career and those aspirations. And so when I'm home, I try to be 100% home. And I say

00:27:16.080 try because I fail, but I try to be 100% all in when I'm at home. And I try to be all in when I'm

00:27:23.020 away. That's one thing that honestly, and this may sound strange, but me traveling, I spent 238

00:27:28.320 nights in a hotel last year and I've got an 18 month year old, 18 month year old. Like how does

00:27:33.100 that work, man? An 18 month old daughter. And for me traveling and being away, it's terrible,

00:27:41.260 obviously. But you know what, man, when I'm gone, all I do is work. If I'm not working or working out,

00:27:48.120 then I'm sleeping for like four or five hours, maybe because I'm gone. If I'm spending that time

00:27:52.340 away from my family, like I am going to spend all of it and get the best ROI from that time away

00:27:58.640 because I know what the cost is. I'm not sitting there with my daughter and with my wife that

00:28:02.940 evening. So why in the world from 7 PM to one o'clock in the morning, would I not be working

00:28:07.780 on all this other stuff? Like what am I going to do? Sit in my hotel room? What ends up happening

00:28:11.900 is people end up going to the bar. They end up doing all these other things that they shouldn't

00:28:14.780 be doing every single night when they're on the road. And there's a whole nother topic we could have

00:28:19.260 about salespeople on the road, but I just squeeze every ounce of every day when I'm on the road.

00:28:23.840 And that's what enables me to be able to go in all in on all those areas. And so I just,

00:28:28.680 I just think it's an interesting perspective that when you talk about balancing your work life and

00:28:33.180 your home life, that man, you can add to your home life without having to take away from the work life.

00:28:38.460 And I'm as happy as I've ever been. And so that for me, that's how I gauge it. I just love what I'm

00:28:43.900 doing and the whole social media stuff and my daily vlog that we're doing and the podcasts and all

00:28:48.900 these different things. I just genuinely enjoy it. And so I understand like somebody else,

00:28:52.880 they may not, I just love that process. And so for me, I'm getting enjoyment as though it is a hobby

00:28:58.480 from that. You know, I don't have really any other outside hobbies other than that because I genuinely

00:29:02.940 enjoy it. You may have heard of our exclusive brotherhood, the iron council by now. And if you

00:29:10.640 haven't, you're about to, I get so many questions about how to apply what we've been sharing here

00:29:15.680 through these conversations in the podcast. And of course our Facebook and Instagram and Twitter

00:29:20.580 accounts over the past three years. Well, the iron council, which again is our brotherhood

00:29:24.880 represents the next step. It's the next evolution in the application of the principles we've been

00:29:31.240 sharing. We've all heard that knowledge is power. That's a half truth. Knowledge when applied

00:29:37.140 is what's powerful. Each month we dive deep into a topic. I generate an assignment that will help

00:29:42.320 draw out the conversations and the challenges that we'll be participating in. And of course we put in

00:29:47.620 place the accountability to help you keep to the actions, keep to the actions that will help you

00:29:52.540 connect with people more deeply, launch that new business, lose that spare tire, build a new set of

00:29:57.940 skills. That's going to help you thrive as a man. And all of those things I have done for myself

00:30:02.080 and hundreds and hundreds of other men are doing this within the iron council and will continue to do

00:30:07.180 this moving forward and continue to level up in their lives as men. So guys, if you are interested

00:30:11.740 in joining us, head to order of man.com slash iron council. You can learn more about what we're

00:30:16.860 doing. Claim your seat at the table. Again, it's order of man.com slash iron council. Now let's get

00:30:21.800 back to the conversation with Tyler. I don't know if you know or not, but I'm a financial advisor.

00:30:26.900 I don't do much anymore. I'm so busy with order of man and all that we have going on over here.

00:30:30.520 And it's much more fulfilling to your point about enjoying the work that you do. But what I do see is

00:30:35.540 a lot of mismanagement of resources. And what I mean by that is to your point, a mismanagement of time.

00:30:41.420 It's like, Oh, I don't have time to do this. Well, let's inventory your day and really put that

00:30:46.240 statement to the test. You know, how much time are you dinking around on social media? And I'm not

00:30:50.440 talking about the work you do because that's work that's moving the needle, but I'm talking about

00:30:53.820 losing time on social media. How much time are you spending watching TV and dinking around? I mean,

00:30:59.600 how much more efficient, but it also works with money. You know, people say, well, I don't have as much

00:31:03.560 money to invest as I would like, or I need to make more money. Well, yeah, that's valid. Let's make more

00:31:08.240 money. But also let's look at the way you currently manage the resource of money and see if there's

00:31:13.480 something that we can do with what you already have. So that's a really interesting perspective.

00:31:17.340 And along those lines, I wanted to ask you, because you talk about having a list, having tasks,

00:31:22.280 having things that you need to get done. How do you know what the priority is? There's a million

00:31:27.540 things that you can do every single day. How do you define, I'm going to do this right now. Then when

00:31:32.820 I'm done with that, I'm going to do this. What does that actually look like for you?

00:31:35.440 I love that you asked that question right now, because it's one of my main focuses right now.

00:31:40.840 That whole phrase, my main focus is to remain focused. Last night we posted episode, was it

00:31:46.920 34 last night? 34, 33 or 34, this daily vlog that we do five days a week.

00:31:51.600 They all start to blend together when you're doing them every single day, right?

00:31:54.700 I mean, it's a 24 hour turnaround, which is just the level of work and hustle right now is just

00:32:00.120 mind boggling.

00:32:01.440 Is that sustainable to you? Do you think that's a sustainable model?

00:32:04.140 Only because I've never had more fun in my entire life. That's the only way.

00:32:08.520 The reason it's taking so much time is that I didn't realize that the creative process of that,

00:32:14.800 and when I mean creative process and TJ sitting here in the room with me and he's literally on

00:32:18.760 his computer right now editing, like that creative process of, okay, now we've got to create the

00:32:23.240 thumbnail. Move that red line down a little bit and let's try the text over here. I just realized that

00:32:28.920 I actually love, I enjoy doing that part. It sucks because like with Gary Vaynerchuk and what

00:32:35.260 he's built around, the whole concept of the daily vlog is to be able to take that content and to be 0.87

00:32:41.260 able to use it on all different types of platforms and so that it can eliminate me from the content

00:32:46.640 creation process.

00:32:47.580 Sure.

00:32:48.400 It has done the complete opposite because now I'm like even heavier.

00:32:51.480 Because you like it, right? You enjoy it.

00:32:53.260 So you like it.

00:32:53.840 So you guys actually love it. But I mean, it's every single day is something different. And my

00:32:58.260 priority right now is what is making me money and then what is making an impact? And right now,

00:33:06.340 like that's the turmoil going on in my brain every single day is those two going back and forth and

00:33:13.220 back and forth and back and forth and back and forth. Because one part of me pulls and says,

00:33:18.040 okay, if you put out X number of content and if we really get this thing moving forward and if I

00:33:22.740 bring on one more person to scale and this, that's going to make a gigantic impact. It's going to

00:33:27.900 change lives. And I can rationalize, holy cow, like that is insanely important at this exact second

00:33:33.300 on a Friday. But then I go to the other side and they're like, well, hey, don't forget about what's

00:33:37.680 funding all that.

00:33:38.680 Right.

00:33:39.000 Yeah. Okay. Got it. Got it. Got it. So it goes back and forth

00:33:42.780 throughout the day. But what I've done to alleviate some of that struggle is I use social

00:33:49.220 media as an accountability tool. I was doing this before the daily vlog. I did over 400 Facebook

00:33:54.280 lives last year. And I would get on there on Sunday night or Monday morning and I'd be driving

00:33:59.260 down to Georgia and I would say, all right, guys, my goal this week is to sell 100 life insurance

00:34:04.760 policies. And then on Monday, I would get on there throughout the day like, hey, just sold this

00:34:08.780 many, just sold this many. I do a recap every night and say, all right, guys, day one's done.

00:34:12.780 I have four and I sold 22 policies. So I'm a little bit behind. Day two, I'd recap and

00:34:18.120 say, hey, I sold 30 today. So now I'm actually ahead. Day four. Oh, my God, guys. Today I

00:34:22.800 had a terrible, terrible day. I only sold eight policies. So I've got a bunch more. I got

00:34:27.900 to step it up. I got to have my biggest day tomorrow to hit this goal of 100. Well, if

00:34:31.600 you sit there and you say 100 policies like 800 times in four days and you have all these

00:34:36.180 other people like by day three, day four, people are like sending me DMs and like messages.

00:34:39.760 They're like, yeah, they're rooting for you. I think you need like, was it 37 today? Like

00:34:43.660 hope you crush it. Like you got what? How many? One more meetings left. One more meeting. 0.97

00:34:46.860 Like, you know, hope you crush it. And then at the end of the week, I'll recap and say,

00:34:50.440 hey, my goal, like I said, was 100 policies. Ended up with 105. And it's every time it's

00:34:55.040 like almost like right on it. So that's what enables me to still stay focused on the stuff

00:35:00.300 that is bringing in obviously the income and is funding my ability to do all this extra stuff.

00:35:06.020 I think you make a really good point with social media. And I want to talk about this

00:35:09.260 because I think from the outside, again, looking in a lot of people tend to think that social

00:35:14.400 media is, you know, you hear the things it's making us dumber or we're less connected.

00:35:19.680 And there's maybe some element of truth to some of those statements. Well, the reason that

00:35:23.560 we're having this conversation, you and I is because of social media. There's probably

00:35:27.980 no other way that we would have connected had we not been introduced through social media.

00:35:31.980 And it's this really, really powerful tool that I think so many people dismiss or simply decide

00:35:38.380 that, hey, let's just watch cat videos all day, as opposed to this powerful tool to be able to

00:35:43.600 connect you with another human being. I go even crazier on that. Like I'm actually

00:35:47.800 extremely introverted person. And I struggled with those definitions of intro versus extroverted.

00:35:52.860 I think I'm maybe just an antisocial. I think it was Kendrick Lamar in that rap song where he

00:35:56.740 talks about being an antisocial. I think maybe that's it because I don't have any of the lack

00:36:00.580 of confidence on the introvert side, but I'm not a people person. Like I'm just not.

00:36:04.580 If you put me in a networking event and say like, hey, go mingle, that's literally my version of hell.

00:36:09.620 I will try to crawl underneath the tablecloth and just sit there on my phone and not talk to anyone.

00:36:15.820 But for whatever reason, with social media, when I started doing social media, using Facebook Live,

00:36:21.500 for some reason, when I connect with someone on social media, I actually like genuinely care more.

00:36:28.100 It's weird. And it's now carrying over into my quote unquote real life in person.

00:36:32.760 But when I meet someone, I used to do this running joke. I'm like, hey, how are you? My name is Tyler

00:36:37.240 Harris. And then when they say the name, I'm just like, la, la, la, la, la, la. Like if you ask me

00:36:41.100 their name right after they said it, I'm like, no clue. Sorry. But when I meet someone, literally when

00:36:45.720 someone gets on a Facebook Live and I see their name, I'm like, oh, it's John Doe. Oh, you mean

00:36:51.680 John Doe from Illinois? Oh, you mean John Doe from Illinois who coaches his son's wrestling team?

00:36:57.040 He's the assistant coach. And I met him at Take Ownership six months later. And then when he

00:37:01.240 walked up to me and shook my hand for the first time, I was like, oh, what's up, John? How's your

00:37:05.460 son's wrestling team going this year? Which blew his mind that I remembered. But that conversation

00:37:10.680 would never happen just in the real world, just have met somebody and build that relationship.

00:37:15.220 But when people start getting on stuff and on stuff and on stuff, for me, I connect way more. And I

00:37:21.820 don't know why. But when people say that social media is like ruining like communication and

00:37:26.660 relationships and being able to connect with other people, I could not disagree

00:37:30.240 more because there are thousands of people that if I read their name, I could picture their profile

00:37:36.120 picture. I could generally know kind of what they have going on. Just like you said, just like me and

00:37:41.040 you, like generally have an idea of what they're doing on a weekly basis, at least. And the other

00:37:45.680 thing is, the more content I'm creating, the more stuff I have going on on social media, the less I'm

00:37:50.780 actually consuming content on social media. It is very rare that you will find me actually just

00:37:55.820 scrolling through Instagram, scrolling through Facebook at all, partially because I'm so busy

00:38:00.440 posting. But it used to be the opposite. The more I started posting, the more I started getting

00:38:06.040 involved in all these different aspects of social media, the more I'm actually consuming

00:38:09.400 others' content. And I'm just focused on getting my message out there. So I see it as just an

00:38:14.540 incredible tool to connect with people. I have a guy that I talk to every couple of days that lives in

00:38:19.120 Australia and he's doing an internship right now at this new recording studio. And like,

00:38:23.940 how does that happen? Like I've done some stuff where his messages back to me have been like

00:38:27.920 life-changing stuff. It's the only way that stuff can happen.

00:38:31.280 Yeah, I agree. I mean, it's obviously been powerful for what we're doing here and has the

00:38:34.860 ability to impact lives. If you use it correctly, if you use it as just, Hey, this distraction from

00:38:39.260 life, then yeah, that's probably all it is. But if you use it correctly, it can be a very,

00:38:43.880 very powerful tool. Well, Hey man, we're bumping up against time here. I want to ask you a

00:38:48.100 couple of additional questions. And I know we've been a little bit all over the place,

00:38:50.720 but I think this is going to make a lot of sense for somebody who's trying to get

00:38:53.280 into whether it's a social media world or running a business, starting a business has an idea of

00:38:58.160 something. I think this conversation is going to make a lot of sense. But that said, the first

00:39:01.760 question I have for you as we wind things down is what does it mean to be a man?

00:39:04.920 That's a great question for me, going back to what I said earlier, a man is someone that has the

00:39:10.600 ability to go all in, not only in all areas, but to be able to go all in on the area that

00:39:17.600 they are focused on at that one second. I get on this podcast. My office right now is chaos.

00:39:22.400 Like I have 12 different meetings today. I just got done recording one of my podcasts,

00:39:25.860 but in this conversation, like I am all in on Ryan 100%. As soon as we get off this,

00:39:32.160 I am all in on the interview that I have with the guy coming in my office right now.

00:39:35.860 And then I am all in when I leave my office today with my family at home. This weekend is going to be

00:39:41.040 the most incredible weekend with my 18 month old daughter, because I will be all in and squeeze

00:39:46.740 every ounce that I possibly can from those hours that I have with her. And to me, that is the

00:39:52.600 ultimate version of a man that has the ability to do so many different things, but has the ability

00:39:58.660 to make you feel like you are the only person in the world when they spend time with you.

00:40:03.500 Powerful, man. I really like that. Well, how do we connect with you, learn more about what you're

00:40:06.740 doing and see what you're up to. Absolutely. So everything is at Tyler Harris page. So Tyler

00:40:11.740 Harris page on Instagram, facebook.com slash Tyler Harris page. So the daily blog that we do to 24

00:40:18.560 hour turnaround on that. And it is crazy in depth into my everyday life. That's on YouTube. It's

00:40:23.540 youtube.com slash the daily bread vlog. And then iTunes, we have the breadwinner podcast, a couple of

00:40:30.660 similar guests, Andy Frisella, Sean Whalen, a couple of guys that have been on your podcast and

00:40:35.100 incredible human beings. Absolutely. That's on iTunes. It's called the breadwinner podcast.

00:40:40.280 And it's pretty much it. I have another podcast called the sales wolves podcast where we get on

00:40:43.740 there and talk about sales and do a little howling and things like that. But if you go to Tyler

00:40:48.500 Harris page, you'll be able to find it all. Right on, man. We'll make sure we link that all up,

00:40:51.800 but I've appreciated you and getting to know you. You're inspiring, man. I got to tell you,

00:40:55.360 just watching what you're doing and watching your growth and seeing what you're all about has been

00:40:58.580 inspiring to me. And so I want to let you know, I appreciate that of you and honored you can come on the

00:41:02.700 show today, man. Thanks a lot. I am thrilled to be on like looking at the guests that have been on

00:41:06.900 your show. It's an honor to be on it. And I was looking at your book on Amazon last night and just

00:41:11.280 so you know, it said it was out of stock. So I'm assuming that's a good thing. It's a good thing.

00:41:15.260 And it's not a good thing. It's kind of like a catch 22, but we're getting ourselves worked

00:41:19.160 through it for sure. No, but I was just, we had a meeting this morning in my office and I was reading

00:41:23.000 the description of the book to my business partners. They just looked at me like, that's awesome.

00:41:28.320 That is awesome. I love everything that you're doing, the right intent behind it, man. And that's

00:41:32.440 everything to me. Thanks brother. Appreciate it. Absolutely.

00:41:37.040 Gentlemen, there it is. My conversation with Tyler Harris. I hope that you got some value out

00:41:41.540 of this. Obviously we talked a lot about value. I hope that you receive value from this as well.

00:41:45.880 Make sure if you would, I do ask this every week, but make sure to hit us up. All right. Hit us up

00:41:49.700 on social media, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, email. I don't care. However, you can get ahold of us.

00:41:54.260 Let us know what you thought of the show. Let us know what you were going to be implementing. That is

00:41:57.800 the most important thing. If there's a common theme between what I've talked about and what

00:42:02.380 my guests have talked about, it's always the application of new information. So many people

00:42:06.880 out there take what they learn, take what podcasts they listen to, and they just don't do a single

00:42:12.260 thing with it. They just sit on it and do nothing with it. Well, if you're not going to do anything

00:42:16.600 with it, it's not doing you any good. So let us know what you were going to apply. Let us know

00:42:21.480 what you were going to change. Let us know how you were going to use this information to improve

00:42:25.640 your life. And if you are interested in a track to run on a foundation, a framework for the way to

00:42:31.380 improve your life, to really place some systems and accountability and structure into your daily

00:42:37.380 schedule, I also want you to take a look at our exclusive brotherhood, the iron council.

00:42:41.840 Again, this is our brotherhood of over 365, 370, right in there right now, men who are working

00:42:48.100 together. We're banding together. We're working in 15 man battle teams. We're holding each other

00:42:52.640 accountable. We're having conversations with each other, myself, with guest experts that are going to

00:42:57.760 come on every single month. It's been an incredible, incredible experience. And I know I'm

00:43:02.180 uplifted and inspired when I see, I get messages from the men who have been actively involved in

00:43:07.560 stepping up in their lives. These guys are salvaging their marriages. They're starting new businesses.

00:43:12.260 Guys have lost 30, 40, 50, a hundred pounds. We had somebody that mentioned they lost over a hundred

00:43:17.160 pounds after joining the iron council. I mean, so many wonderful things going on. So if you would,

00:43:21.600 and are interested, check it out at orderofman.com slash iron council. Again, orderofman.com slash iron

00:43:27.880 council. And then guys share this. All right. We need more men in the fight. There's not enough

00:43:32.220 honorable, noble, virtuous, hardworking, dedicated men in society. And we need to reclaim what it means

00:43:40.240 to be a man. And this is just a small part of that movement. So please, if you would share,

00:43:45.740 subscribe, rate the podcast, review the podcast goes such a long way in getting the visibility out for

00:43:51.080 the movement of the order. So that's all I have for you guys today. Again, we've got a show that's

00:43:55.660 going to be coming out tomorrow called in the trenches with a good friend, Bubba Everett

00:43:59.860 Downs. He's interviewing regular ordinary guys like you and me about some of their journey and

00:44:05.200 their process to self-development for themselves. And then on Friday, we've got our Friday field notes,

00:44:09.440 which is just some of my thoughts and ramblings from throughout the week. So make sure again,

00:44:13.460 you subscribe, but until tomorrow and until Friday, take action and become the man you are meant to be.

00:44:21.080 Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast. You're ready to take charge of your life

00:44:25.540 and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the order at orderofman.com.

Order of Man - April 10, 2018

160： The Value Proposition ｜ Tyler Harris

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