160： The Value Proposition ｜ Tyler Harris
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Summary
Tyler Harris is using the idea of adding value to create a hugely successful social media business on top of his already existing success in the financial services industry. Today we talk about how personal responsibility lies at the foundation of success, how and why every man should develop a presence, why people are starving for the truth, and how the value proposition is so powerful.
Transcript
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Adding value is a phrase that we have all heard, like any other word the marketers of the world
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get a hold of. It begins to lose some of its meaning when it's overused, but that overuse
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doesn't make it any less valuable as a strategy for growth and success. My guest today, Tyler
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Harris is using the idea of adding value to create a hugely successful social media business on top
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of his already existing success in the financial services industry. Today, we talk about how
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personal responsibility lies at the foundation of success, how and why every man should develop
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more presence, why people are starving for the truth, and how the value proposition is so powerful.
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You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart your
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own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time, every time. You are not easily
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deterred, defeated, rugged, resilient, strong. This is your life. This is who you are. This is
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who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself
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a man. Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Michler, and I am the host and founder of
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this podcast and this movement, frankly, The Order of Man. Whether you're new or been here for a long
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time, I want to welcome you. I believe this is the best podcast available on the subject of
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masculinity and taking back what it means to be a man, which I believe, and I know a lot of you
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believe as well. This is much needed in society. Our goal and our mission here is to equip you with
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the tools and the resources and then have the conversations with other highly successful men
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distill and impart some of their wisdom with you, with me, so we can take that information and those
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exercises and those thought processes and the things that they've done, the lessons they've learned,
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the good, the bad, the ugly, and use them in our lives to improve for ourselves, our families,
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our businesses, our communities, every front that we as men are and should be fighting.
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So I am glad that you are here joining us. We've got, as always, an incredible, incredible lineup
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coming forward, so make sure that you subscribe so you never miss one of these episodes. And also,
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and I don't ask this a whole lot, but if there's somebody that you would like me to reach out to,
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please let me know. Shoot me a message on Facebook or Instagram and email, wherever it may be.
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Just shoot me a message and let me know, hey, here's somebody that you should have on,
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and I will take a look at what they're up to and see if that's a fit and see if I can get ahold of
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them and we'll make this show work for you. That's the goal. We want to have the conversations
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that you and me and all these guys want to have as men. So guys, I don't have a whole lot of
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announcements today. One thing I did want to share with you is that I am very, very active over on
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Facebook, facebook.com slash groups slash order of man. You can join us there. And I've done a lot more
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on Twitter, which is twitter.com slash order of man. And then I also am on Instagram and I do a lot
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over there and I'm doing different things in every one of those platforms. So join us in each one of
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those or join us in all of them. And then at Instagram, I'm at Ryan Michler at Ryan Michler.
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My last name is spelled M I C H L E R. And I love to connect with people on any of those social media
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platforms. So I'm looking forward to connecting outside of that. I do want to mention our show sponsor,
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but more than just being a show sponsor, these are friends of mine, origin, Maine. I use their
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products. I use their services. I believe wholeheartedly in what Pete Roberts is doing
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over there. We've managed to build a friendship up over the past several months since he was on the
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podcast. And the thing I like most about this company besides their products, of course, and I'll
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talk about that here in a second is I just enjoy their story. I like their story. I like what they're
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doing. Their goal is to take back American manufacturing. They claim a hundred percent made in America
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without compromise. And in fact, they had some compression pants they wanted to make available.
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And they'd been thinking about releasing these for two years, but the little elastic waistband on
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these pants wasn't manufactured in America. So they sat on this product for years and years because
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they couldn't uphold that claim of a hundred percent American made. And frankly, nobody would have known,
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but these guys have integrity. So they went to the manufacturing, they figured it all out.
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Finally, they got ahold of some of these elastic bands that are made in America and they
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just released those compression pants. They do that. They do training gear, lifestyle apparel.
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And then the thing that I use the most is part of their nutritional division and supplement lineup.
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Pete has partnered with Jocko Willink. I know a lot of you guys follow Jocko and they have,
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again, this nutritional division and supplements. It's the joint warfare, which is really, really good
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for the joints, especially if you're rolling around on the mats or working hard. I do a lot of
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CrossFit, which can be at times difficult and hard on the joints. So that has helped me there.
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Also, their super krill that I take every single day and their supplement discipline. So guys,
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go check that out. And I think you'll enjoy their products as much as I do. So if you head to
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origin, O-R-I-G-I-N, Maine is in the state Maine, M-A-I-N-E.com slash order of man. You can learn a
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little bit about their story. They've got some incredible videos over there, and then you can
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check out their products and services. And then also use the code order, O-R-D-E-R,
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all caps at checkout for 5% off. Again, it's origin, Maine.com slash order of man,
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and then use an all caps order at checkout and you'll get that discount. I think again,
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you're going to like them as much as I do. That's it guys. That's all I've got. As far
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as announcements go, I do want to get into the conversation today. I have the honor of
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introducing you to somebody who I've been following for a little while now, not too long,
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but I have been extremely, extremely impressed by his level of dedication and discipline when it comes
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to building his new business venture using the power of social media. I know a lot of you guys
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are as well as we are here within the order of man. I talk with a lot of people who want to build
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these social media movements and movements and organizations using those social tools,
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but I talk with very few of them who are doing it in a way that actually moves the needle in the
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right direction. And as I got to know more about Tyler's story, I can see why he's been able to move
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the needle. He's been hugely successful in establishing relationships and putting in a
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ton of work, just a lot of consistent work and discipline in order to thrive in the financial
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services industry, which I know from experience, because in another life I was a financial advisor.
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I still have my financial planning practice, and this is a very, very hard market to break into,
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but now he's applying those same principles to his new endeavors. And that's what he's going to be
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sharing with us today. Tyler, what's going on, man? Thanks for joining me on the show today.
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It has. It has. I mean, we're two busy guys, and I guess that's what this is all about, right?
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That's how it goes. But like I said, I'm excited to have you on today. You know,
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one thing I've always noticed about you since I started following you is your
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commitment to being consistent and disciplined in what you're doing. And that's where I want to start
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things off because I think it's very easy for guys to be good for a week or a month or
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potentially maybe even a year. But I've always been impressed with your level of
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One thing that I think all my friends, family would say about me is that I'm just an all-in
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kind of guy. And when I get on something, I don't really have any other mode but all-in. And so
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when I decided to finally put myself out there, which took a long time to get to that point,
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but when I did finally decide to put myself out there on social media and try to provide as much
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value as humanly possible, I just went all-in on it. And it sounds cliche. I mean,
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consistency is key. But for me, it's just like checking off boxes. Like if I know like,
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hey, you're supposed to do this, this, this, and this on a daily basis, well, then that's my score
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card. And I can just go right off that. And I know at the end of the day, if I did those things,
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then I won the day. And for me, that was just the easiest way to kind of embark on this crazy
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journey on social media by doing the things that I knew I was supposed to do on a daily basis
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and just going all-in. So what do you feel like, you say this crazy journey on social media,
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what do you feel like your goal is, your priority? What is it that you're trying to build and
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accomplish through the use of social media? So the specific answer to that changes on a
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probably a weekly basis, but the platform from the very beginning was just to provide value. So
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I own an insurance company. I still sell life insurance every single day. What happened to me over
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the last three and a half years is not normal. And it was going from a place being flat broke,
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in debt, depressed, recently divorced, overweight. I mean, you name it. I was there. Some mentors came
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into my life. And over those next three and a half years, everything changed. Every aspect of my life
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changed. And it was this feeling of this responsibility. I almost, it's almost to the point
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of guilt. Like if that happened to me, who am I not to go and try to do that for other people?
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And so what most people will do is they will say, okay, I'm going to take incremental amounts of
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time away from the career and replace it over here with this extra stuff that I can replace that
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income. Right? Like my mindset was, I'll go all in continually on my career. And then this extra is
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just like it says, extra stuff I'm doing on top of all the normal stuff. And I made a commitment never
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to monetize for five years. And when I said it the first time, it was like, holy crap, did I just say
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five years? But now we're a year in, I got four years left. I've just turned that switch off so that
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I didn't want that conversation between me and another person in a DM or in a Facebook message
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or in an email to be transactional. I wanted to genuinely try to provide as much value as humanly
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possible. The whole goal was to give that person that was where I was three and a half years,
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that tiny little spark that they may need to make a change, like that tiny little bit of motivation
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that may actually push them in the right direction to say, okay, yeah, this guy is pretty much
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describing me right now. He made a change and look at what's happened. And no one ever knows these
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things until hindsight, that the blessing on the other side of that struggle that you're going through
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right now, you won't be able to receive it until you become the person that can. And that's why you're
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in it. Like if you can understand that purpose and the struggle, that is to me the ultimate
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encouragement because you can sit back and say, okay, this sucks right now. Like I am in a terrible
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situation, but it is for a reason. And there is a purpose behind it. And it's to grow me into that
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person that can ultimately receive the blessings on the other side. Like I'm not going to get it until
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I become that person. And that for me was the ultimate encouragement to know that I got myself
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into the situation I was in, I could get myself out of it. And that's just what I want to. I want
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so many more people to understand that, that are currently in that battle.
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Yeah. I think there's a lot of guys that continue to make the same mistakes over and over again.
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They fall into the same patterns, the same habits. They're doing the same thing over and over again.
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And what I'm hearing you say is basically you've got to learn the lesson, right? Like if you don't
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learn whatever lesson is being taught, you are doomed to continue to make the same mistakes
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over and over again. How did you make the transition or get out of the rut? If you will,
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it's very easy to maintain the course that you're currently on and you've got to do something
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extremely different to get out of that rut. How did you personally do that?
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So just like you said, making those same mistakes over and over again, that means that you haven't
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taken personal responsibility, that you haven't taken ownership for the outcome of those mistakes or for
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the outcomes of those things that you're actually doing. So for me, it was literally as cliche as it
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sounds. It was looking in the mirror and saying, okay, all this stuff, I had been playing the victim
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for like a year and a half. At that point, my wife had had an affair. Whoa, he's me. Like,
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let's feel sorry for Tyler. Like he went through this horrible thing. I got laid off, terminated,
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crazy termination from a job that the situation was all happening without me knowing. And then I got
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caught up in it and it terminated me from a job that I love. Oh, feel sorry for me. Like I lost this
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great job. Like, Oh, it's not, not my fault. These things happen to me. These things happen to me.
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These things happen to me. And it was that switch into these things like happened for me. And it was
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that moment where I was like, you know what, if I had been the absolute best husband in the entire
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world, created the best environment in my home that has ever been created, would that affair still
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have happened? Maybe, but probably not. Right. The likelihood is significantly less.
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Significantly less. And so that's me. That's my, like, that was my fault. And I love people get
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uncomfortable when I say that, that my ex-wife having an affair was my fault, but it was my fault.
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Like if I would have been the man I was supposed to be, that wouldn't have happened. And then the
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termination, like if I had been more attuned to what was going on around me, like it would never
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happen. So it's just taking that responsibility and owning it. Like so many people want to push
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blame on other people for the situation that they're in. It's just like, Hey, good or bad.
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Cause now I can sit here and say like where I am right now because of me. But when I was in a
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terrible situation, it was a little tougher to sit there and be like, Tyler, this is your fault.
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Like you got yourself. You are exactly where you're supposed to be because these are all the
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things that led up to it. And there you are. But the encouragement again, is you got yourself in
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it and you can get yourself out of it. And then that's what I started to do to just dig myself
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out of that. Yeah. I think there's a lot of people that take that accountability and
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responsibility and think that's a scary thing. And it is to some degree, because it means that
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your failures are the result of your actions or lack thereof. But I look at it and I tend to think
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that's actually an empowering thought to your point. Because again, if you put yourself in that
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position and you were that powerful to do that to yourself, then by default, it means
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you're just as powerful to create a new reality for yourself. You talked about mentors. I'm
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really curious what you have to say about that. You said the phrase you used is came into my
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life, but I'd be willing to bet it goes deeper than that. Is that something that you intentionally
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sought out? Like how did that work to have these mentors come into your life?
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You know, I don't know that the mentors were intentionally sought out in that the timing that when
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they came in and that they had actually proactively reached out to me at that time and not me reached
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out to them. But I think the relationship that was cultivated, which took effort on both parts,
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was something that I had to put effort into and that I pushed and pushed and pushed and pushed.
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I mean, it was literally as random as a Facebook message from a guy. It's a Facebook message from a
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guy. They were looking to hire someone and I took them up on the conversation and ended up finding a
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little bit more about the business that they were in. And it's so funny, my mentor, Joseph Caldwell,
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the very first words out of his mouth to me when we met, very first words. He said,
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hey man, what's the most money you've ever made in 12 months? The very first words out of his mouth.
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And I asked him at that time, he was like 97,000. He said, 97,000. He's like, hmm,
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you can do better than that. And then we just kind of went on our conversation. It was like,
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it didn't even happen. And that's something I've been talking about lately. It's just
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actually getting down to like, what are people's exact adjusted gross incomes? And just that's a
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whole nother tangent. We can go off on later, but there was no right or wrong answer to that.
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He just wanted to judge really how I reacted to the question, number one. And if I told him number
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two, and then just, it gives him more context in the conversation. And so from there, I started
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working with these guys, helping build out a system with our insurance company. And they basically,
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I like the term breathe life into me. Like they just, they saw something in myself that I didn't
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see in myself at that time, as far as breathing confidence back in me. I mean, when you go through
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some of the things that I had gone through, my confidence just was at an all time low. And I was
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afraid to go all in. Like in the beginning, I talked about my friends always saying that I would
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be one that would go all in. I was afraid to go all in again, especially on the career, because of
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this fear that it could be taken away from me again. And they just gave me this audacity to
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just 100% go all in on this business that we created. And I mean, the very next 12 months
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made over $300,000 in the next 12 months, I got myself out of debt in 11 days after getting
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started. But it took time, like, I don't like people hearing that go, Oh, that's great. When
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I first met them, I waited a year for actually coming on board with them. It's just the time
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wasn't right. Like timing's everything. I just wasn't ready to do that yet. I was doing some
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other things. But when I finally committed and went all in, and they really just locked arms with
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me. I mean, they gave me every support that I ever could need, and really just plugged me into a
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system. I had the hard work ethic, I just needed a good system to be plugged into that I could just
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put my head down and go to work. And they gave me on really empowered me with the ability to go out
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and do that. And became family. I mean, these guys are brothers to me, they're in the office next door
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here. And I'm now owner of this business with them. And it's just been something that like I've
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owed them a tremendous debt for starting and being a catalyst of change in my life. And that's the
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reason why I now want to do that for other people. I think I saw a number. I can't remember what it was.
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You can tell me what it was. How many life insurance policies did you sell in 2017?
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In 2017, it was like 2,137 or something like that.
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I mean, you think about that. That's roughly, if my math right, roughly, let's just call it six
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policies a day, every single day for 365 days. That to me is just insane. Talk to me about how
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you make things like that happen. I mean, and obviously it didn't happen every single day.
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You sold this many policies, but those are the averages. But talk to me about how it happened.
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You couldn't be asking me this at any better of time because I just got back. I travel three to
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four nights a week. And I just got back from Georgia, which is normally the area that I'm
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traveling in. And I just got done writing 182 life insurance policies in four days.
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So the average life insurance agent in America that does it for a full-time career sells 150
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policies a year. That's like the statistic. What has enabled us to do those type of volumes
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is creating a system around an extremely narrow niche. That's my biggest sales advice or really
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business advice in general that I give to people is you have to create and carve out that niche.
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And most people think narrow like I'm a real estate agent. I'm like, hey, I'm going to be a real
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estate agent and I'm going to focus on the east side of town. That's not near narrow enough. You
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need to focus on first-time homebuyers looking for one-story homes in the 100 to 200 price range
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on the east side of town. They become the expert on that. What we did is we carved out this niche and we
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began to understand those people better than they even understand themselves in what we say,
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how we say it, how we dress, the things that we pass out. Every single word that comes out of my
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mouth has been methodically just thought out. It's all intentional. And to me, that's the ultimate
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form of respect because I am giving a message to someone in the exact way that they can receive it
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best, which to me, that's just the best way of respecting a customer and a potential client.
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But by doing that and going all in on that one niche, we've been able to refine all of our
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systems. It's no different than the manufacturing process. Once you figure out how to make something,
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you're refining everything and how to make it faster. So when we did that, we were able to cut
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down these presentations into short presentations and then meeting with people one-on-one in a very
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quick fashion that I can get in and out in a matter of minutes and sell two, three policies in five
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minutes with someone after I've given a presentation to a group of them. It's just going all in on a narrow
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niche. But I think the key there is those people do not ever go as narrow as they should.
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Yeah. I want to get to that in a second. But one of the things you said was this level of respect.
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And I think that's a hundred percent accurate. I think what a lot of people probably hear when you
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say that is that it's somehow inauthentic or even potentially manipulation. I don't look at it
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like that at all. I tend to take your viewpoint, which is, Hey, I respect you. I want to do this
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right by you. I want to do it in a way that's significant and relevant for you
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and create a ultimate win-win situation here. I think a lot of people have this idea that somehow
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if you're sold something that it comes at the expense of another human being. And I definitely
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don't think it needs to be that way. Especially when you're dealing with life insurance. I mean,
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no one's passionate about selling life insurance. Like no one really loves and is like super happy to
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wake up in the morning and sell life insurance. But in how we've created this system, it enables us to
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become passionate about the message that we're delivering because we tell the stories
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of what happens when people die. And that my favorite line in the world, and some people see
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this as insensitive. It's just truth is everyone gets to choose the legacy that they leave behind.
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Everyone gets to choose. And in the realm of life insurance, if you think about that,
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you get to choose like when you die, what happens? Do you want that legacy to be that your family had to
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create a GoFundMe page? Your church had to do a bake sale so they could put you in the freaking
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ground. Or take money in lieu of flowers, right? That's the thing you see a lot. Exactly. Or do you
00:20:22.240
want to leave them better financially than when you were even there and make it to where that they just
00:20:28.480
have to go through the grieving process, not also a gigantic financial burden because of you. Because
00:20:34.460
I promise you, again, it's insensitive, but that will taint that legacy if you put your family in
00:20:39.960
dire straits financially when you're gone. We're just very blunt. We just give people the truth
00:20:45.660
and the facts, and then they can do that with what they will. We do not sell. I think another
00:20:49.840
important, when you're talking about that respect, we serve. We do not sell. We serve. I'm there to
00:20:55.180
serve them, and I'm there to solve a problem that they have, which is if something happens,
00:20:59.940
are they going to be taken care of? And we serve them. We don't sell. I tell them in our briefing,
00:21:03.600
I tell them, if you choose to purchase additional coverage today, that's great. If you don't,
00:21:08.160
that's great. I promise you I'm going to eat lunch here in an hour, and I promise you I'm
00:21:11.920
going to eat dinner tonight. It's not important to me whether you do, but it's important to your
00:21:15.240
family. We're just very blunt about things, but I think when you're especially talking about
00:21:19.440
something as sensitive as life insurance and death and things like that, that the more blunt that you
00:21:24.860
can be, it just is what it is. You don't have to sugarcoat things. Tell the real story and be honest
00:21:30.520
with people, and people will resonate with that. I think the truth is refreshing too. I mean,
00:21:34.920
we get conned and we get sold and we get sold a bill of goods and people saying things that they
00:21:40.080
think we want to hear. And I think we have an ability to see right through that stuff. And so
00:21:43.880
as difficult as these conversations are to have it, quite honestly, it's refreshing to have somebody
00:21:49.660
just say, this is how it is black and white. Don't like it. Don't care. It's the truth, regardless of
00:21:55.420
how you feel about it. I think that's refreshing. Now you talk about this narrow niche. How does that work
00:22:00.320
in relationship to what you're doing now? Cause you talk about, Hey, we're not going to monetize
00:22:04.380
for four more years. We're kind of just spreading this message to the masses. How do you see this
00:22:09.020
applying and translating over into what you're doing now, as opposed to what the insurance industry?
00:22:14.600
That's a great question. And to be honest, a lot of this long-term four years from now has not been
00:22:22.000
thought through. And I think there's an important distinction there. And when I met with Gary Vaynerchuk
00:22:27.020
down at this event in Miami three weeks ago, and I was telling him about what I've been up to since
00:22:31.160
the last time I saw him. And I explained about turning that switch and not monetizing, not selling
00:22:35.500
anything for five years. You know, Gary, like Gary, he understands two words in your entire narrative,
00:22:41.080
your entire paragraph. He's like, got it, got it, got it. So he instantly said, no, no, no, you don't
00:22:46.800
understand. If you do that for five years, you'll never think about monetizing ever because that's how
00:22:53.040
you win. People don't do that. And if you can provide that much disproportionate value for five
00:22:58.300
years, and I'm not just talking about getting on Facebook every now and then and giving somebody
00:23:03.460
like a little like pound emoji, like comment back or something. I'm talking about investing heavily
00:23:09.080
in the time, energy, and quite frankly, the money. Like I spend a lot of money running Facebook ads,
00:23:15.400
Instagram ads, and doing all these things with zero revenue coming in and knowing that and still
00:23:21.380
willing to do that stuff. When you get a message from someone that is like a life changing,
00:23:27.240
life altering message, like, hey, I heard you on this video, and you said this, and it just crushed
00:23:32.740
me. And I really internalized that. And now I have made these changes in my life. And now it's six
00:23:38.460
months later, and my business is better, my relationship with my wife is better. When you
00:23:42.060
start getting this message, and you know this, it changes everything. Like your mind is then opened to,
00:23:47.600
okay, if I can change that person's life, like how many more people and then when you hear people
00:23:51.160
talk about Gary, like, you know, what kind of drug is this guy on? How does he have so much energy?
00:23:55.440
Like imagine getting 5000 of those emails every single day? How would you not wake up every
00:24:00.800
morning just in a flat sprint, because you're making that big of an impact? And so I don't know
00:24:06.360
like what it'll look like four years from now. But what I know is, for me, it's just the law of
00:24:11.560
attraction. I am casting this net. And just like conversation that I'm having with you right now,
00:24:16.180
conversations I've had with Gerard Adams on Friday in New York, these relationships that I'm building,
00:24:22.740
these connections that are being created, just by putting a good message out, that in itself will
00:24:28.040
become a extremely positive ROI in the future. But what it looks like as far as, you know, I got to
00:24:32.860
start building this email list so that on January 11th of 2000, whatever that is, you know, 22,
00:24:38.740
I dropped this product that is nowhere in my realm of thought process right now.
00:24:43.740
I mean, it's a really interesting perspective because it's very similar to what we did with
00:24:47.220
order of man. I started three years ago. So March of 2015. And although I had more of a niche than I
00:24:54.560
think that you do at this point, I was very clear with that. I didn't really have any intention of
00:24:59.640
quote unquote monetizing. It was me just wanting to have conversations with some amazing men and then
00:25:04.860
put it out into the world. And I think that's exactly right. When you start doing that and just have
00:25:08.980
faith that the more value you provide, the more it will inevitably be returned to you. It's an
00:25:14.280
eternal principle, just works like that. I am really curious though, with what you have going
00:25:18.400
on with your insurance practice, what you have going on here, all the other things that I know
00:25:22.320
you're doing. And you talk about Gary V. How do you find time for some of these other things that
00:25:28.060
you place an emphasis on? Maybe those are hobbies, family, friends, some of these other things that we
00:25:32.960
don't necessarily see from the outside looking in. So I have a very interesting thought on this whole
00:25:39.360
work-life balance. I said for a long time that it just doesn't exist. It's just so unique to each and
00:25:45.100
every person based on a million different variables. Right. But my problem with that word work-life
00:25:50.300
balance is that the vast majority of the time that people are talking about it, they're talking about
00:25:56.160
it and they're framing that conversation around taking away from something. Like one or the other,
00:26:01.680
right? So if you've got a scale and this one's the need to spend more time with your family and
00:26:06.620
this one's the go to work and you say, I need to spend more time with my family. So let's say,
00:26:11.440
okay, so that would mean that one's down here, right? Right. Tip the scales, right? Well,
00:26:14.920
everyone talks about that as though you have to take away from the one that's heavier so that it
00:26:20.540
balances the scale. No one talks about adding to the one that's lighter so that it balances to the
00:26:25.500
scale. I don't ever have a conversation where there's someone that's like, oh man, you know what?
00:26:29.560
I've just been way too much of an incredible father lately. I really need to ease back on the
00:26:34.940
time with my daughter. No one has that conversation. Sure. They're always using that conversation as an
00:26:40.280
excuse to work less. Right. Every single time I have this conversation. And so my whole thing is
00:26:45.780
going all in in all areas. If you need to spend more time with your family, then that's fantastic.
00:26:50.580
Spend more time with your family. It doesn't mean you need to work less. It may mean that you need to
00:26:53.780
sleep a little less. It may mean that you need to have less hobbies or need to go to happy hour less,
00:27:00.040
you know, every Thursday and every Friday and all the things that you do on the weekends. Like you
00:27:04.360
may need to punt that stuff for a little while, but it doesn't mean that you need to put any less
00:27:09.860
emphasis on your career and those aspirations. And so when I'm home, I try to be 100% home. And I say
00:27:16.080
try because I fail, but I try to be 100% all in when I'm at home. And I try to be all in when I'm
00:27:23.020
away. That's one thing that honestly, and this may sound strange, but me traveling, I spent 238
00:27:28.320
nights in a hotel last year and I've got an 18 month year old, 18 month year old. Like how does
00:27:33.100
that work, man? An 18 month old daughter. And for me traveling and being away, it's terrible,
00:27:41.260
obviously. But you know what, man, when I'm gone, all I do is work. If I'm not working or working out,
00:27:48.120
then I'm sleeping for like four or five hours, maybe because I'm gone. If I'm spending that time
00:27:52.340
away from my family, like I am going to spend all of it and get the best ROI from that time away
00:27:58.640
because I know what the cost is. I'm not sitting there with my daughter and with my wife that
00:28:02.940
evening. So why in the world from 7 PM to one o'clock in the morning, would I not be working
00:28:07.780
on all this other stuff? Like what am I going to do? Sit in my hotel room? What ends up happening
00:28:11.900
is people end up going to the bar. They end up doing all these other things that they shouldn't
00:28:14.780
be doing every single night when they're on the road. And there's a whole nother topic we could have
00:28:19.260
about salespeople on the road, but I just squeeze every ounce of every day when I'm on the road.
00:28:23.840
And that's what enables me to be able to go in all in on all those areas. And so I just,
00:28:28.680
I just think it's an interesting perspective that when you talk about balancing your work life and
00:28:33.180
your home life, that man, you can add to your home life without having to take away from the work life.
00:28:38.460
And I'm as happy as I've ever been. And so that for me, that's how I gauge it. I just love what I'm
00:28:43.900
doing and the whole social media stuff and my daily vlog that we're doing and the podcasts and all
00:28:48.900
these different things. I just genuinely enjoy it. And so I understand like somebody else,
00:28:52.880
they may not, I just love that process. And so for me, I'm getting enjoyment as though it is a hobby
00:28:58.480
from that. You know, I don't have really any other outside hobbies other than that because I genuinely
00:29:02.940
enjoy it. You may have heard of our exclusive brotherhood, the iron council by now. And if you
00:29:10.640
haven't, you're about to, I get so many questions about how to apply what we've been sharing here
00:29:15.680
through these conversations in the podcast. And of course our Facebook and Instagram and Twitter
00:29:20.580
accounts over the past three years. Well, the iron council, which again is our brotherhood
00:29:24.880
represents the next step. It's the next evolution in the application of the principles we've been
00:29:31.240
sharing. We've all heard that knowledge is power. That's a half truth. Knowledge when applied
00:29:37.140
is what's powerful. Each month we dive deep into a topic. I generate an assignment that will help
00:29:42.320
draw out the conversations and the challenges that we'll be participating in. And of course we put in
00:29:47.620
place the accountability to help you keep to the actions, keep to the actions that will help you
00:29:52.540
connect with people more deeply, launch that new business, lose that spare tire, build a new set of
00:29:57.940
skills. That's going to help you thrive as a man. And all of those things I have done for myself
00:30:02.080
and hundreds and hundreds of other men are doing this within the iron council and will continue to do
00:30:07.180
this moving forward and continue to level up in their lives as men. So guys, if you are interested
00:30:11.740
in joining us, head to order of man.com slash iron council. You can learn more about what we're
00:30:16.860
doing. Claim your seat at the table. Again, it's order of man.com slash iron council. Now let's get
00:30:21.800
back to the conversation with Tyler. I don't know if you know or not, but I'm a financial advisor.
00:30:26.900
I don't do much anymore. I'm so busy with order of man and all that we have going on over here.
00:30:30.520
And it's much more fulfilling to your point about enjoying the work that you do. But what I do see is
00:30:35.540
a lot of mismanagement of resources. And what I mean by that is to your point, a mismanagement of time.
00:30:41.420
It's like, Oh, I don't have time to do this. Well, let's inventory your day and really put that
00:30:46.240
statement to the test. You know, how much time are you dinking around on social media? And I'm not
00:30:50.440
talking about the work you do because that's work that's moving the needle, but I'm talking about
00:30:53.820
losing time on social media. How much time are you spending watching TV and dinking around? I mean,
00:30:59.600
how much more efficient, but it also works with money. You know, people say, well, I don't have as much
00:31:03.560
money to invest as I would like, or I need to make more money. Well, yeah, that's valid. Let's make more
00:31:08.240
money. But also let's look at the way you currently manage the resource of money and see if there's
00:31:13.480
something that we can do with what you already have. So that's a really interesting perspective.
00:31:17.340
And along those lines, I wanted to ask you, because you talk about having a list, having tasks,
00:31:22.280
having things that you need to get done. How do you know what the priority is? There's a million
00:31:27.540
things that you can do every single day. How do you define, I'm going to do this right now. Then when
00:31:32.820
I'm done with that, I'm going to do this. What does that actually look like for you?
00:31:35.440
I love that you asked that question right now, because it's one of my main focuses right now.
00:31:40.840
That whole phrase, my main focus is to remain focused. Last night we posted episode, was it
00:31:46.920
34 last night? 34, 33 or 34, this daily vlog that we do five days a week.
00:31:51.600
They all start to blend together when you're doing them every single day, right?
00:31:54.700
I mean, it's a 24 hour turnaround, which is just the level of work and hustle right now is just
00:32:01.440
Is that sustainable to you? Do you think that's a sustainable model?
00:32:04.140
Only because I've never had more fun in my entire life. That's the only way.
00:32:08.520
The reason it's taking so much time is that I didn't realize that the creative process of that,
00:32:14.800
and when I mean creative process and TJ sitting here in the room with me and he's literally on
00:32:18.760
his computer right now editing, like that creative process of, okay, now we've got to create the
00:32:23.240
thumbnail. Move that red line down a little bit and let's try the text over here. I just realized that
00:32:28.920
I actually love, I enjoy doing that part. It sucks because like with Gary Vaynerchuk and what
00:32:35.260
he's built around, the whole concept of the daily vlog is to be able to take that content and to be
00:32:41.260
able to use it on all different types of platforms and so that it can eliminate me from the content
00:32:48.400
It has done the complete opposite because now I'm like even heavier.
00:32:53.840
So you guys actually love it. But I mean, it's every single day is something different. And my
00:32:58.260
priority right now is what is making me money and then what is making an impact? And right now,
00:33:06.340
like that's the turmoil going on in my brain every single day is those two going back and forth and
00:33:13.220
back and forth and back and forth and back and forth. Because one part of me pulls and says,
00:33:18.040
okay, if you put out X number of content and if we really get this thing moving forward and if I
00:33:22.740
bring on one more person to scale and this, that's going to make a gigantic impact. It's going to
00:33:27.900
change lives. And I can rationalize, holy cow, like that is insanely important at this exact second
00:33:33.300
on a Friday. But then I go to the other side and they're like, well, hey, don't forget about what's
00:33:39.000
Yeah. Okay. Got it. Got it. Got it. So it goes back and forth
00:33:42.780
throughout the day. But what I've done to alleviate some of that struggle is I use social
00:33:49.220
media as an accountability tool. I was doing this before the daily vlog. I did over 400 Facebook
00:33:54.280
lives last year. And I would get on there on Sunday night or Monday morning and I'd be driving
00:33:59.260
down to Georgia and I would say, all right, guys, my goal this week is to sell 100 life insurance
00:34:04.760
policies. And then on Monday, I would get on there throughout the day like, hey, just sold this
00:34:08.780
many, just sold this many. I do a recap every night and say, all right, guys, day one's done.
00:34:12.780
I have four and I sold 22 policies. So I'm a little bit behind. Day two, I'd recap and
00:34:18.120
say, hey, I sold 30 today. So now I'm actually ahead. Day four. Oh, my God, guys. Today I
00:34:22.800
had a terrible, terrible day. I only sold eight policies. So I've got a bunch more. I got
00:34:27.900
to step it up. I got to have my biggest day tomorrow to hit this goal of 100. Well, if
00:34:31.600
you sit there and you say 100 policies like 800 times in four days and you have all these
00:34:36.180
other people like by day three, day four, people are like sending me DMs and like messages.
00:34:39.760
They're like, yeah, they're rooting for you. I think you need like, was it 37 today? Like
00:34:43.660
hope you crush it. Like you got what? How many? One more meetings left. One more meeting.
00:34:46.860
Like, you know, hope you crush it. And then at the end of the week, I'll recap and say,
00:34:50.440
hey, my goal, like I said, was 100 policies. Ended up with 105. And it's every time it's
00:34:55.040
like almost like right on it. So that's what enables me to still stay focused on the stuff
00:35:00.300
that is bringing in obviously the income and is funding my ability to do all this extra stuff.
00:35:06.020
I think you make a really good point with social media. And I want to talk about this
00:35:09.260
because I think from the outside, again, looking in a lot of people tend to think that social
00:35:14.400
media is, you know, you hear the things it's making us dumber or we're less connected.
00:35:19.680
And there's maybe some element of truth to some of those statements. Well, the reason that
00:35:23.560
we're having this conversation, you and I is because of social media. There's probably
00:35:27.980
no other way that we would have connected had we not been introduced through social media.
00:35:31.980
And it's this really, really powerful tool that I think so many people dismiss or simply decide
00:35:38.380
that, hey, let's just watch cat videos all day, as opposed to this powerful tool to be able to
00:35:43.600
connect you with another human being. I go even crazier on that. Like I'm actually
00:35:47.800
extremely introverted person. And I struggled with those definitions of intro versus extroverted.
00:35:52.860
I think I'm maybe just an antisocial. I think it was Kendrick Lamar in that rap song where he
00:35:56.740
talks about being an antisocial. I think maybe that's it because I don't have any of the lack
00:36:00.580
of confidence on the introvert side, but I'm not a people person. Like I'm just not.
00:36:04.580
If you put me in a networking event and say like, hey, go mingle, that's literally my version of hell.
00:36:09.620
I will try to crawl underneath the tablecloth and just sit there on my phone and not talk to anyone.
00:36:15.820
But for whatever reason, with social media, when I started doing social media, using Facebook Live,
00:36:21.500
for some reason, when I connect with someone on social media, I actually like genuinely care more.
00:36:28.100
It's weird. And it's now carrying over into my quote unquote real life in person.
00:36:32.760
But when I meet someone, I used to do this running joke. I'm like, hey, how are you? My name is Tyler
00:36:37.240
Harris. And then when they say the name, I'm just like, la, la, la, la, la, la. Like if you ask me
00:36:41.100
their name right after they said it, I'm like, no clue. Sorry. But when I meet someone, literally when
00:36:45.720
someone gets on a Facebook Live and I see their name, I'm like, oh, it's John Doe. Oh, you mean
00:36:51.680
John Doe from Illinois? Oh, you mean John Doe from Illinois who coaches his son's wrestling team?
00:36:57.040
He's the assistant coach. And I met him at Take Ownership six months later. And then when he
00:37:01.240
walked up to me and shook my hand for the first time, I was like, oh, what's up, John? How's your
00:37:05.460
son's wrestling team going this year? Which blew his mind that I remembered. But that conversation
00:37:10.680
would never happen just in the real world, just have met somebody and build that relationship.
00:37:15.220
But when people start getting on stuff and on stuff and on stuff, for me, I connect way more. And I
00:37:21.820
don't know why. But when people say that social media is like ruining like communication and
00:37:26.660
relationships and being able to connect with other people, I could not disagree
00:37:30.240
more because there are thousands of people that if I read their name, I could picture their profile
00:37:36.120
picture. I could generally know kind of what they have going on. Just like you said, just like me and
00:37:41.040
you, like generally have an idea of what they're doing on a weekly basis, at least. And the other
00:37:45.680
thing is, the more content I'm creating, the more stuff I have going on on social media, the less I'm
00:37:50.780
actually consuming content on social media. It is very rare that you will find me actually just
00:37:55.820
scrolling through Instagram, scrolling through Facebook at all, partially because I'm so busy
00:38:00.440
posting. But it used to be the opposite. The more I started posting, the more I started getting
00:38:06.040
involved in all these different aspects of social media, the more I'm actually consuming
00:38:09.400
others' content. And I'm just focused on getting my message out there. So I see it as just an
00:38:14.540
incredible tool to connect with people. I have a guy that I talk to every couple of days that lives in
00:38:19.120
Australia and he's doing an internship right now at this new recording studio. And like,
00:38:23.940
how does that happen? Like I've done some stuff where his messages back to me have been like
00:38:27.920
life-changing stuff. It's the only way that stuff can happen.
00:38:31.280
Yeah, I agree. I mean, it's obviously been powerful for what we're doing here and has the
00:38:34.860
ability to impact lives. If you use it correctly, if you use it as just, Hey, this distraction from
00:38:39.260
life, then yeah, that's probably all it is. But if you use it correctly, it can be a very,
00:38:43.880
very powerful tool. Well, Hey man, we're bumping up against time here. I want to ask you a
00:38:48.100
couple of additional questions. And I know we've been a little bit all over the place,
00:38:50.720
but I think this is going to make a lot of sense for somebody who's trying to get
00:38:53.280
into whether it's a social media world or running a business, starting a business has an idea of
00:38:58.160
something. I think this conversation is going to make a lot of sense. But that said, the first
00:39:01.760
question I have for you as we wind things down is what does it mean to be a man?
00:39:04.920
That's a great question for me, going back to what I said earlier, a man is someone that has the
00:39:10.600
ability to go all in, not only in all areas, but to be able to go all in on the area that
00:39:17.600
they are focused on at that one second. I get on this podcast. My office right now is chaos.
00:39:22.400
Like I have 12 different meetings today. I just got done recording one of my podcasts,
00:39:25.860
but in this conversation, like I am all in on Ryan 100%. As soon as we get off this,
00:39:32.160
I am all in on the interview that I have with the guy coming in my office right now.
00:39:35.860
And then I am all in when I leave my office today with my family at home. This weekend is going to be
00:39:41.040
the most incredible weekend with my 18 month old daughter, because I will be all in and squeeze
00:39:46.740
every ounce that I possibly can from those hours that I have with her. And to me, that is the
00:39:52.600
ultimate version of a man that has the ability to do so many different things, but has the ability
00:39:58.660
to make you feel like you are the only person in the world when they spend time with you.
00:40:03.500
Powerful, man. I really like that. Well, how do we connect with you, learn more about what you're
00:40:06.740
doing and see what you're up to. Absolutely. So everything is at Tyler Harris page. So Tyler
00:40:11.740
Harris page on Instagram, facebook.com slash Tyler Harris page. So the daily blog that we do to 24
00:40:18.560
hour turnaround on that. And it is crazy in depth into my everyday life. That's on YouTube. It's
00:40:23.540
youtube.com slash the daily bread vlog. And then iTunes, we have the breadwinner podcast, a couple of
00:40:30.660
similar guests, Andy Frisella, Sean Whalen, a couple of guys that have been on your podcast and
00:40:35.100
incredible human beings. Absolutely. That's on iTunes. It's called the breadwinner podcast.
00:40:40.280
And it's pretty much it. I have another podcast called the sales wolves podcast where we get on
00:40:43.740
there and talk about sales and do a little howling and things like that. But if you go to Tyler
00:40:48.500
Harris page, you'll be able to find it all. Right on, man. We'll make sure we link that all up,
00:40:51.800
but I've appreciated you and getting to know you. You're inspiring, man. I got to tell you,
00:40:55.360
just watching what you're doing and watching your growth and seeing what you're all about has been
00:40:58.580
inspiring to me. And so I want to let you know, I appreciate that of you and honored you can come on the
00:41:02.700
show today, man. Thanks a lot. I am thrilled to be on like looking at the guests that have been on
00:41:06.900
your show. It's an honor to be on it. And I was looking at your book on Amazon last night and just
00:41:11.280
so you know, it said it was out of stock. So I'm assuming that's a good thing. It's a good thing.
00:41:15.260
And it's not a good thing. It's kind of like a catch 22, but we're getting ourselves worked
00:41:19.160
through it for sure. No, but I was just, we had a meeting this morning in my office and I was reading
00:41:23.000
the description of the book to my business partners. They just looked at me like, that's awesome.
00:41:28.320
That is awesome. I love everything that you're doing, the right intent behind it, man. And that's
00:41:32.440
everything to me. Thanks brother. Appreciate it. Absolutely.
00:41:37.040
Gentlemen, there it is. My conversation with Tyler Harris. I hope that you got some value out
00:41:41.540
of this. Obviously we talked a lot about value. I hope that you receive value from this as well.
00:41:45.880
Make sure if you would, I do ask this every week, but make sure to hit us up. All right. Hit us up
00:41:49.700
on social media, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, email. I don't care. However, you can get ahold of us.
00:41:54.260
Let us know what you thought of the show. Let us know what you were going to be implementing. That is
00:41:57.800
the most important thing. If there's a common theme between what I've talked about and what
00:42:02.380
my guests have talked about, it's always the application of new information. So many people
00:42:06.880
out there take what they learn, take what podcasts they listen to, and they just don't do a single
00:42:12.260
thing with it. They just sit on it and do nothing with it. Well, if you're not going to do anything
00:42:16.600
with it, it's not doing you any good. So let us know what you were going to apply. Let us know
00:42:21.480
what you were going to change. Let us know how you were going to use this information to improve
00:42:25.640
your life. And if you are interested in a track to run on a foundation, a framework for the way to
00:42:31.380
improve your life, to really place some systems and accountability and structure into your daily
00:42:37.380
schedule, I also want you to take a look at our exclusive brotherhood, the iron council.
00:42:41.840
Again, this is our brotherhood of over 365, 370, right in there right now, men who are working
00:42:48.100
together. We're banding together. We're working in 15 man battle teams. We're holding each other
00:42:52.640
accountable. We're having conversations with each other, myself, with guest experts that are going to
00:42:57.760
come on every single month. It's been an incredible, incredible experience. And I know I'm
00:43:02.180
uplifted and inspired when I see, I get messages from the men who have been actively involved in
00:43:07.560
stepping up in their lives. These guys are salvaging their marriages. They're starting new businesses.
00:43:12.260
Guys have lost 30, 40, 50, a hundred pounds. We had somebody that mentioned they lost over a hundred
00:43:17.160
pounds after joining the iron council. I mean, so many wonderful things going on. So if you would,
00:43:21.600
and are interested, check it out at orderofman.com slash iron council. Again, orderofman.com slash iron
00:43:27.880
council. And then guys share this. All right. We need more men in the fight. There's not enough
00:43:32.220
honorable, noble, virtuous, hardworking, dedicated men in society. And we need to reclaim what it means
00:43:40.240
to be a man. And this is just a small part of that movement. So please, if you would share,
00:43:45.740
subscribe, rate the podcast, review the podcast goes such a long way in getting the visibility out for
00:43:51.080
the movement of the order. So that's all I have for you guys today. Again, we've got a show that's
00:43:55.660
going to be coming out tomorrow called in the trenches with a good friend, Bubba Everett
00:43:59.860
Downs. He's interviewing regular ordinary guys like you and me about some of their journey and
00:44:05.200
their process to self-development for themselves. And then on Friday, we've got our Friday field notes,
00:44:09.440
which is just some of my thoughts and ramblings from throughout the week. So make sure again,
00:44:13.460
you subscribe, but until tomorrow and until Friday, take action and become the man you are meant to be.
00:44:21.080
Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast. You're ready to take charge of your life
00:44:25.540
and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the order at orderofman.com.