4 Great Lies About Femininity ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES
Episode Stats
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Summary
In this episode, Ryan talks about the 4 Great Lies of Femininity, and why they are so common in society. He also talks about why women have to be more like men in order to be good ones.
Transcript
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You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart
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your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.
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You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong. This is your life. This is who
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you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,
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you can call yourself a man. Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Michler.
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I'm your host. I'm also the founder of the Order of Man podcast and movement.
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And if you're new, and you might be new because the amount of subscribers that we've had,
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gosh, over the past four months or so has been incredible. And that's a testament to the power
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of the guests that we've had on. We've had Tim Tebow on, and we had Dave Rubin on a couple of
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weeks ago. Vic Blends was this week. And we've got some other exciting, exciting guests. So
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make sure you subscribe. And also, before I get into the meat of this discussion today,
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make sure you check out the two events that I mentioned last week. The first one
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is our Man Uncaged Summit. You can check that out at manuncaged.com slash live. I'm going to be
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speaking with John Lovell, Bedros Koulian, Jack Donovan, Tanner Guzzi, Matt Boudreau. I probably,
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did I say John Lovell? I probably forgot some people in there. But guys, it's going to be awesome.
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And that's on May 7th in Northern California. It's a one-day event. You're going to mingle with us.
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We've got a workout plan. We're going to be interacting. We're going to be sharing,
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obviously, concepts and ideas with you. But I would love to see you there with me and the rest
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of the guys. You can do that again at manuncaged.com slash live. And the other event is our
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Squire program that's happening here on my property in Maine. You're going to see the barn. You're going to
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to be out here. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. It's going to be for you and your son. This is a rite
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of passage type program. And we're going to be pushing you physically, mentally, emotionally,
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but it's all from a good place. All wanting you and your boys to thrive. So you can check that out.
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I only have five spots left on that one or maybe less now. You can check it out at squireprogram.com
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slash Ryan. And that one's May 28th. With that said, let's talk with you about the four great lies
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of femininity. Because last week, if you didn't hear, it was the first series of this. And I talked
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about the four great lies of masculinity. And those four great lies were masculinity is inherently toxic.
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The second lie is that masculinity is inherently virtuous. The third lie was that masculinity is
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earned. And the fourth lie is that masculinity is not as needed as it was once in society.
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So if you hear those and you think that's right, or maybe you think that's wrong, how could that be
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accurate? How could that be true? Go back and listen to that. And then we'll have a discussion about it.
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But today, because I told you in that one that I would share with you the concept about the four
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great lies of femininity, I thought I'd share with them with you right now. Tripping over my words,
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can't think. So the first one that I wrote down here, and I think this is permeated so much of
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society. It's so frustrating to me. And that is that women have to be more like men in order to be
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feminine or in order to be strong, good women. Guys, that just isn't true. All right. When we do
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this game of trying to make feminine women and women, more masculine or masculine men, more feminine,
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all we end up doing is creating inferior versions of men and inferior versions of women. I get so
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frustrated. I got a picture of my wife right there. And I get so frustrated because my wife has been a
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homemaker now for, well, ever since we started having kids. So almost 15 years, 14 years ago.
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And she's been at home and she's turned the house into a home and she's raised her children.
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She's primarily responsible for homeschooling right now. And she has not worked outside of the house
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in those 14 years. The first couple of years where we were married, she did. But once we started having
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kids, she was done. And that was always her plan. And I'm not saying that that needs to be the path
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for every woman. Trust me. But I'm never going to mock and ridicule a woman who decides that she
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wants to go into the workforce and that's important to her. The same way that so many people will mock
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and belittle and put down women who decide to stay at home and turn their house into a home and be a
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loving housewife and homemaker. I mean, even those words, some people have a hard time saying housewife
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and homemaker because they think it has a negative connotation. It doesn't have a negative connotation
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at all. In fact, it's one of the most beautiful things that a woman can do, that she honors her
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femininity, that she realizes that she doesn't need to go out into the workforce. She doesn't need to act
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like a man, that she can take care of her family. She can do that in righteousness. She can take care of
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me. She can provide for me as I provide for her in a different way. And there's honor in that.
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She knows herself to be a feminine, beautiful woman because she's happy with what she's doing.
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And ironically enough to me, it's the feminists who belittle a woman who do that. It's not men.
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It's not other feminine women. It's the feminists. The ones that say, hey, we want women to have the
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power to choose. And then you say, good, I want to stay at home. And they're like, you,
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you're going to be a slave to your husband and he's just going to keep you barefoot and pregnant
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in the kitchen. And yet they have no problem with women going out into the workforce and working for
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another man, likely out in the workforce, another stranger who cares nothing about them, who has no
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vested interest outside of what they can produce to the company. And that's feminine power. That's
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not femininity. Ladies, please understand. If you want to go to the workforce and that's something
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you want to do, all the power to you. I want you to be successful in that venture. I don't want you
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to abdicate your responsibilities as a mother, but I still do want you to be successful in the
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workforce. But ladies, if you're listening to this and you think I've always wanted to be a
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homemaker, I've always wanted to be a housewife. I've always wanted to stay home and raise my children
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in righteousness or even try homeschooling and be here and be supportive of my husband, then you do that
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and you'd be the best at that. And it doesn't make you worse. It doesn't make you weak. It doesn't
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make you inferior. It doesn't make you less of a woman. You are feminine the way that you are.
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And I think we need to do a better job in society, especially those feminists honoring what true
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femininity looks like, which is having the option and then stepping fully into who they are as women.
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Number two is the lie is that femininity is weak. So we'll hear things like, oh, masculinity is strong
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and yeah, it is strong. Sure. But femininity is not weak. It's different. But I don't know about you
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guys. Like my wife had to birth our four children. My wife goes through just as much bull crap every
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single day, trying to take the kids through homeschool and trying to keep them from fighting
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with each other and signing up for things and extracurricular activities and all the stuff that
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she goes through is just as demanding, if not more so than what I have to go through. And so does that
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mean that because she knows who she is as a woman that she's weak? No, I'd say it's actually a strength.
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Now it's different. I mean, physically I'm stronger than her. I think that's generally true.
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I think emotionally, I have the potential to be more stoic than she does. I think a lot of the times
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I'm speaking in generalities that women are going to be more in tune with their emotional feeling
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side of the decision-making process. And men generally are going to be more in tune with the
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rational, logical decision-making side of the process. And that's not to say that either one of
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us can't tap into the other side. You know, we all make emotional decisions as men, whether we want
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to realize it or not. And I'm not even suggesting even remotely that women can't be rational or
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logical. I'm just saying there's a precedent for women on the emotion and the empathy and how in
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tune they are with other people. I'm not like that. Most of the men I know are not like that. We can be,
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and we are at times, but not generally. So ladies, it's not weak. You're not weak. Guys, you know that
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if you've had a woman in your life, whether it's your mother or an aunt or your grandma or your wife
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or your daughters or siblings, you know how, how strong women can be. It isn't weak and it isn't
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inferior by the way. And again, I, I can't help but say this. It's not the men who are saying this.
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It's not the men who are saying women are weak. It's the feminists. It's the feminists.
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And they're saying femininity is weak. Therefore go out in the workforce and act like a man so you can be
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strong. And so what they're actually simultaneously saying is you're weak. The way you are as weak.
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I'm not saying that the men I know don't say that it's the feminists, the ones who say they're on
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your side and they're not. So that's the second great lie is that femininity is weak. It's not at
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all. Number three is I'm going to get fired up on some of this. This, this one, I'm going to get
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really fired up is that your femininity is about more than you biologically bringing children into
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the world. And there's a real common trend. And I'll explain why this trend is happening
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that I see where people are beginning to call women chest feeders, birthing people, bleeders.
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This is horrible. I was talking with my wife about this earlier today because I wanted her input on
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this. And she said, I'm not one to get offended about what people say. And she's not. She's very
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emotionally stable and resilient that way. She doesn't get offended or put off lightly. But she
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said, but this I get really offended by because what they're doing is they're dismissing what it means
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to be feminine and what it means to be a woman in general. And they're just relegating it to the
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fact that I can pop babies out of my vagina. Okay. That's a horrible, horrible way to look at women.
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You're a chest feeder. Oh, because you have breasts that provide milk to your babies. That's what you're
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relegated to because your, your, your, your womb was made to carry life inside of you. And you can push
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that through the vaginal canal and bring life into the world. That's what you're relegated to,
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or that you have a period each month. And that's part of the natural cycle of life. And look, I don't
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enjoy talking about that, but it's gotta be brought up. And that's what you're relegated to.
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What a shame ladies, you really got to do a better job. I'm going to work for it, but you really got to
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do a better job to making sure that you don't get assigned to these simple, uh, just like pushed off to
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these like biological things that you happen to be able to do when it comes to nurturing and raising
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children or, or not even that just bringing children into the world. But I'll tell you why
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this is the case. It's because of this whole transgenderism idea, right? Because if, if we
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said that a woman is, uh, gives birth and then you have one side of the equation that says, well,
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anybody can be a woman as long as you feel like it. See how there's a conflict there. So the LGBTQI plus
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whatever theory or ideology says that we can't call people who bring babies into the world.
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We can't call them women because if we call them women, then we simultaneously undermine our own
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position, which is that anybody who just feels like it, including myself could potentially be a woman.
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So therefore they've had to assign you a thing, just like an art, not even arbitrary, just take one
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element of who you are biologically and say, well, this is, they're not women. They're bleeders.
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That's not a woman. That's a chest feeder. That's not a woman. That's a person who gives birth.
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It's this manipulation of language that infuriates me because I know what the play is and you know
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what the play is too. So don't put up with this. Okay. Femininity is more than your biological ability
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to bring children into the world. It's your love. It's your empathy. It's your compassion.
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It is your feelings. You know, when I asked my wife about things, she leads with that emotional side.
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And I asked her because I don't have that as prevalent in me. And I appreciate it. She's very
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intuitive. So I'll say, what do you think about this? She's like, I don't like that. Or she'll say,
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you know, I don't like that person. Be careful around that person. I don't like that person
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because she's in tune with it. And it's more than just, Hey, she can push babies through her
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vaginal canal. It's no, she can be a mother and she can be lovely and she can turn the house into a
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home and she can offer support and empathy and guidance and direction and love. I think about the most
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simple scenario when my kids are out riding their bikes. My youngest who's six, he does pretty good
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on a bike, but occasionally he'll fall and I'll scrape his knee. And what do I do? I'm like, get up,
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rub some dirt on it, wipe it off, do whatever, get back on that bike. And what does mom do?
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Hey, come here. Let me hold you. Let me wipe that off. Let me, let me kiss it. Let me, uh,
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let me wash it off and put a bandaid on it. Is she wrong? No. Am I wrong? No. And the kids need both
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masculinity and femininity in harmony, but it isn't about being a chess feeder or a bleeder or a
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birthing person or any of these other bullshit terms that people use because their ideology
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doesn't line with the reality of the situation. And then the last point I want to make, and this
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point is actually the same point I made last week with regards to men last week regarding masculinity.
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I said that masculinity is not needed in society as much as it once was. That's the lie. Well,
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the same holds true for femininity. That feminine femininity is not as needed as it once was. And
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what do you hear people say? Right. Oh, woman, woman empowerment. I don't need a man. I can do this
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all on my own. I don't need a man. Okay. Well, maybe you can, and maybe you, you've been put in the
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position where you've had to. My mother was in that position. She raised my sister and I primarily on her
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own, but even her, she would admit, she'd say, Hey, you know, that's not ideal. And it doesn't make you
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weaker or pathetic or whatever to, to have a man in your life. Like what, what a silly, what a silly
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thought that anytime you decide to partner with somebody else, it inherently makes you weaker.
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Ladies, you're beautiful. You're strong in many ways. You're, you're, you're special. You're
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important. You're an integral part of society, just like men are. And it doesn't make me weak
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to decide that I want to partner with a woman and walk hand in hand with her through life.
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And it doesn't make you weak for deciding you want the same from a man. Now I know you can open the
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doors. I know you can put your luggage in the airplane the same way a guy can. I know you can
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run and be fit. Like, I know you can do all these things. Everybody knows men know you can do these
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things. But it, when, when I offer to hold a door open for a woman, by the way, I've never had a
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woman to turn that down personally. I know that happens, but I've never had, it doesn't mean I
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think you're incapable. It means I honor you. When a woman on the, comes on the airplane and she's got
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a big, heavy roller and she's trying to put it up in the thing. And I say, Hey, can I help you? And
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she's like, Oh sure. And I grab it and I put it. It doesn't mean I think she's weak. Like I think
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she could probably get it. It means I, I honor you. I respect you. Like you're a woman. I think
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that's my job to respect women. And you know, I already hear what people are saying. They're like,
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Oh, well, you know, like they don't respect you. That's not true. Some maybe, but the women that I
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know are beautiful and they're lovely and they're strong and they're convicted and they have empathy
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and compassion and kindness and heart in a way that I don't. So femininity is needed, especially,
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especially, especially in this cold society that we live in. Everything is cold. Everything is
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calculated. Everything is methodical. Everything is kept track of scores are kept tallies are totaled.
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And it's all about the bottom line. We need femininity now more than ever. Kindness, empathy,
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nurturing, support, guidance, intuition, love. This is what we need. So ladies, please, as you hear
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this, don't ever, ever think that you need to act like a man. Don't ever think like you're weak. Don't
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ever think that you're not needed in society. You are just as much as men in a different way. And that's
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okay. Not only is it, isn't okay. It's encouraged. It's, it's important. This is, this is crucial
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that we have feminine women. We have masculine men all working to fulfill our roles. And even as I say
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that, Oh, roles. Oh my gosh. Roles. Wow. Outdated. Oh, your tyrannical patriarchy. Roles. What are you
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talking about? Yeah. Roles. Cause you know where your fulfillment is found in stepping into your
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femininity. Nurturing kids, raising children, offering support, being nurturing. And where is
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fulfillment found for men in protecting and providing and presiding? Surely you're capable
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of some of those things, but I'm just telling you, our fulfillment is found in those things.
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Your fulfillment is found in something else. And there's nothing wrong with that.
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There's something very right about that actually. So I figured today, guys, I would share the four
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great lies about femininity since I shared the four great lies about masculinity last week. And
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I hope you agree. And if you don't, or I'm missing something, maybe I misinterpreted or maybe I missed
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something altogether, then please shoot me a message on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, wherever, YouTube,
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whatever. And let me know, let's continue the discussion, but guys, this stuff's crucial.
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We're going to get more in depth in all this and we have, and we're going to do it even more so as we
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move forward. All right, guys, remember our events, May 7th, you can go to manuncaged.com
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slash live. And then May 28th is our Squire program out here, squireprogram.com slash Ryan.
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All right, you guys, we will be back next week. Until then, go out there, take action and become
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a man, or in this case, the woman you were meant to be.
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Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast. You're ready to take charge of your life
00:18:55.280
and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the Order at orderofman.com.