Order of Man - 4 Great Lies About Femininity ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart

00:00:04.960 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.420 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong. This is your life. This is who

00:00:17.100 you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,

00:00:22.680 you can call yourself a man. Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Michler.

00:00:27.700 I'm your host. I'm also the founder of the Order of Man podcast and movement.

00:00:31.780 And if you're new, and you might be new because the amount of subscribers that we've had,

00:00:36.060 gosh, over the past four months or so has been incredible. And that's a testament to the power

00:00:42.500 of the guests that we've had on. We've had Tim Tebow on, and we had Dave Rubin on a couple of

00:00:48.800 weeks ago. Vic Blends was this week. And we've got some other exciting, exciting guests. So

00:00:55.000 make sure you subscribe. And also, before I get into the meat of this discussion today,

00:01:00.080 make sure you check out the two events that I mentioned last week. The first one

00:01:03.680 is our Man Uncaged Summit. You can check that out at manuncaged.com slash live. I'm going to be

00:01:11.160 speaking with John Lovell, Bedros Koulian, Jack Donovan, Tanner Guzzi, Matt Boudreau. I probably,

00:01:19.900 did I say John Lovell? I probably forgot some people in there. But guys, it's going to be awesome.

00:01:24.580 And that's on May 7th in Northern California. It's a one-day event. You're going to mingle with us.

00:01:30.640 We've got a workout plan. We're going to be interacting. We're going to be sharing,

00:01:34.400 obviously, concepts and ideas with you. But I would love to see you there with me and the rest

00:01:39.000 of the guys. You can do that again at manuncaged.com slash live. And the other event is our

00:01:44.920 Squire program that's happening here on my property in Maine. You're going to see the barn. You're going to

00:01:50.920 see the 50 acres. You're going to go on this incredible hike. We've got something planned,

00:01:54.820 something special for you guys on that hike. And Bedros and his team, including Ray Care are going

00:02:00.060 to be out here. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. It's going to be for you and your son. This is a rite

00:02:05.680 of passage type program. And we're going to be pushing you physically, mentally, emotionally,

00:02:10.320 but it's all from a good place. All wanting you and your boys to thrive. So you can check that out.

00:02:15.520 I only have five spots left on that one or maybe less now. You can check it out at squireprogram.com

00:02:22.720 slash Ryan. And that one's May 28th. With that said, let's talk with you about the four great lies

00:02:28.500 of femininity. Because last week, if you didn't hear, it was the first series of this. And I talked

00:02:33.680 about the four great lies of masculinity. And those four great lies were masculinity is inherently toxic.

00:02:40.620 The second lie is that masculinity is inherently virtuous. The third lie was that masculinity is

00:02:47.820 earned. And the fourth lie is that masculinity is not as needed as it was once in society.

00:02:55.440 So if you hear those and you think that's right, or maybe you think that's wrong, how could that be

00:03:01.440 accurate? How could that be true? Go back and listen to that. And then we'll have a discussion about it.

00:03:06.000 But today, because I told you in that one that I would share with you the concept about the four

00:03:11.380 great lies of femininity, I thought I'd share with them with you right now. Tripping over my words,

00:03:16.800 can't think. So the first one that I wrote down here, and I think this is permeated so much of

00:03:22.920 society. It's so frustrating to me. And that is that women have to be more like men in order to be 1.00

00:03:30.340 feminine or in order to be strong, good women. Guys, that just isn't true. All right. When we do

00:03:36.820 this game of trying to make feminine women and women, more masculine or masculine men, more feminine,

00:03:43.260 all we end up doing is creating inferior versions of men and inferior versions of women. I get so 0.99

00:03:50.260 frustrated. I got a picture of my wife right there. And I get so frustrated because my wife has been a 1.00

00:03:55.160 homemaker now for, well, ever since we started having kids. So almost 15 years, 14 years ago.

00:04:01.760 And she's been at home and she's turned the house into a home and she's raised her children.

00:04:07.100 She's primarily responsible for homeschooling right now. And she has not worked outside of the house

00:04:11.520 in those 14 years. The first couple of years where we were married, she did. But once we started having

00:04:16.740 kids, she was done. And that was always her plan. And I'm not saying that that needs to be the path

00:04:21.600 for every woman. Trust me. But I'm never going to mock and ridicule a woman who decides that she

00:04:26.880 wants to go into the workforce and that's important to her. The same way that so many people will mock

00:04:33.940 and belittle and put down women who decide to stay at home and turn their house into a home and be a 0.99

00:04:40.820 loving housewife and homemaker. I mean, even those words, some people have a hard time saying housewife

00:04:46.860 and homemaker because they think it has a negative connotation. It doesn't have a negative connotation

00:04:52.020 at all. In fact, it's one of the most beautiful things that a woman can do, that she honors her

00:04:56.940 femininity, that she realizes that she doesn't need to go out into the workforce. She doesn't need to act 0.99

00:05:01.440 like a man, that she can take care of her family. She can do that in righteousness. She can take care of

00:05:07.000 me. She can provide for me as I provide for her in a different way. And there's honor in that.

00:05:12.280 She knows herself to be a feminine, beautiful woman because she's happy with what she's doing.

00:05:19.640 And ironically enough to me, it's the feminists who belittle a woman who do that. It's not men.

00:05:28.860 It's not other feminine women. It's the feminists. The ones that say, hey, we want women to have the 1.00

00:05:35.700 power to choose. And then you say, good, I want to stay at home. And they're like, you,

00:05:39.100 you're going to be a slave to your husband and he's just going to keep you barefoot and pregnant 1.00

00:05:44.280 in the kitchen. And yet they have no problem with women going out into the workforce and working for 1.00

00:05:49.440 another man, likely out in the workforce, another stranger who cares nothing about them, who has no

00:05:55.660 vested interest outside of what they can produce to the company. And that's feminine power. That's 1.00

00:06:00.720 not femininity. Ladies, please understand. If you want to go to the workforce and that's something 1.00

00:06:07.880 you want to do, all the power to you. I want you to be successful in that venture. I don't want you

00:06:12.500 to abdicate your responsibilities as a mother, but I still do want you to be successful in the

00:06:16.820 workforce. But ladies, if you're listening to this and you think I've always wanted to be a

00:06:21.480 homemaker, I've always wanted to be a housewife. I've always wanted to stay home and raise my children

00:06:26.580 in righteousness or even try homeschooling and be here and be supportive of my husband, then you do that

00:06:31.760 and you'd be the best at that. And it doesn't make you worse. It doesn't make you weak. It doesn't

00:06:36.660 make you inferior. It doesn't make you less of a woman. You are feminine the way that you are. 1.00

00:06:42.440 And I think we need to do a better job in society, especially those feminists honoring what true 1.00

00:06:48.400 femininity looks like, which is having the option and then stepping fully into who they are as women. 1.00

00:06:54.560 Number two is the lie is that femininity is weak. So we'll hear things like, oh, masculinity is strong 1.00

00:07:02.240 and yeah, it is strong. Sure. But femininity is not weak. It's different. But I don't know about you 0.97

00:07:12.260 guys. Like my wife had to birth our four children. My wife goes through just as much bull crap every 1.00

00:07:20.060 single day, trying to take the kids through homeschool and trying to keep them from fighting 0.99

00:07:24.440 with each other and signing up for things and extracurricular activities and all the stuff that

00:07:30.260 she goes through is just as demanding, if not more so than what I have to go through. And so does that

00:07:35.900 mean that because she knows who she is as a woman that she's weak? No, I'd say it's actually a strength. 0.99

00:07:41.560 Now it's different. I mean, physically I'm stronger than her. I think that's generally true.

00:07:45.420 I think emotionally, I have the potential to be more stoic than she does. I think a lot of the times

00:07:53.380 I'm speaking in generalities that women are going to be more in tune with their emotional feeling 1.00

00:07:57.860 side of the decision-making process. And men generally are going to be more in tune with the

00:08:03.040 rational, logical decision-making side of the process. And that's not to say that either one of

00:08:07.980 us can't tap into the other side. You know, we all make emotional decisions as men, whether we want

00:08:13.160 to realize it or not. And I'm not even suggesting even remotely that women can't be rational or

00:08:17.500 logical. I'm just saying there's a precedent for women on the emotion and the empathy and how in 1.00

00:08:25.020 tune they are with other people. I'm not like that. Most of the men I know are not like that. We can be,

00:08:30.400 and we are at times, but not generally. So ladies, it's not weak. You're not weak. Guys, you know that

00:08:38.640 if you've had a woman in your life, whether it's your mother or an aunt or your grandma or your wife

00:08:43.440 or your daughters or siblings, you know how, how strong women can be. It isn't weak and it isn't 1.00

00:08:49.520 inferior by the way. And again, I, I can't help but say this. It's not the men who are saying this.

00:08:56.540 It's not the men who are saying women are weak. It's the feminists. It's the feminists. 1.00

00:09:03.120 And they're saying femininity is weak. Therefore go out in the workforce and act like a man so you can be 0.69

00:09:07.920 strong. And so what they're actually simultaneously saying is you're weak. The way you are as weak.

00:09:13.580 I'm not saying that the men I know don't say that it's the feminists, the ones who say they're on 0.91

00:09:19.300 your side and they're not. So that's the second great lie is that femininity is weak. It's not at 1.00

00:09:25.100 all. Number three is I'm going to get fired up on some of this. This, this one, I'm going to get

00:09:32.420 really fired up is that your femininity is about more than you biologically bringing children into 0.88

00:09:39.580 the world. And there's a real common trend. And I'll explain why this trend is happening

00:09:44.600 that I see where people are beginning to call women chest feeders, birthing people, bleeders.

00:09:53.560 This is horrible. I was talking with my wife about this earlier today because I wanted her input on

00:10:00.340 this. And she said, I'm not one to get offended about what people say. And she's not. She's very

00:10:07.220 emotionally stable and resilient that way. She doesn't get offended or put off lightly. But she

00:10:12.320 said, but this I get really offended by because what they're doing is they're dismissing what it means

00:10:18.460 to be feminine and what it means to be a woman in general. And they're just relegating it to the 0.97

00:10:23.780 fact that I can pop babies out of my vagina. Okay. That's a horrible, horrible way to look at women. 1.00

00:10:32.320 You're a chest feeder. Oh, because you have breasts that provide milk to your babies. That's what you're 1.00

00:10:39.900 relegated to because your, your, your, your womb was made to carry life inside of you. And you can push 0.93

00:10:46.720 that through the vaginal canal and bring life into the world. That's what you're relegated to, 0.99

00:10:51.520 or that you have a period each month. And that's part of the natural cycle of life. And look, I don't

00:10:57.320 enjoy talking about that, but it's gotta be brought up. And that's what you're relegated to.

00:11:03.460 What a shame ladies, you really got to do a better job. I'm going to work for it, but you really got to 1.00

00:11:08.700 do a better job to making sure that you don't get assigned to these simple, uh, just like pushed off to

00:11:15.980 these like biological things that you happen to be able to do when it comes to nurturing and raising

00:11:20.160 children or, or not even that just bringing children into the world. But I'll tell you why

00:11:24.620 this is the case. It's because of this whole transgenderism idea, right? Because if, if we 0.92

00:11:30.300 said that a woman is, uh, gives birth and then you have one side of the equation that says, well,

00:11:37.560 anybody can be a woman as long as you feel like it. See how there's a conflict there. So the LGBTQI plus

00:11:44.760 whatever theory or ideology says that we can't call people who bring babies into the world.

00:11:53.120 We can't call them women because if we call them women, then we simultaneously undermine our own 0.98

00:11:59.500 position, which is that anybody who just feels like it, including myself could potentially be a woman.

00:12:04.940 So therefore they've had to assign you a thing, just like an art, not even arbitrary, just take one

00:12:12.880 element of who you are biologically and say, well, this is, they're not women. They're bleeders. 1.00

00:12:19.080 That's not a woman. That's a chest feeder. That's not a woman. That's a person who gives birth. 1.00

00:12:25.880 It's this manipulation of language that infuriates me because I know what the play is and you know

00:12:34.080 what the play is too. So don't put up with this. Okay. Femininity is more than your biological ability 0.99

00:12:40.140 to bring children into the world. It's your love. It's your empathy. It's your compassion.

00:12:46.240 It is your feelings. You know, when I asked my wife about things, she leads with that emotional side.

00:12:51.300 And I asked her because I don't have that as prevalent in me. And I appreciate it. She's very

00:12:56.960 intuitive. So I'll say, what do you think about this? She's like, I don't like that. Or she'll say,

00:13:01.220 you know, I don't like that person. Be careful around that person. I don't like that person

00:13:04.140 because she's in tune with it. And it's more than just, Hey, she can push babies through her 0.98

00:13:10.040 vaginal canal. It's no, she can be a mother and she can be lovely and she can turn the house into a 1.00

00:13:16.100 home and she can offer support and empathy and guidance and direction and love. I think about the most

00:13:21.180 simple scenario when my kids are out riding their bikes. My youngest who's six, he does pretty good

00:13:27.300 on a bike, but occasionally he'll fall and I'll scrape his knee. And what do I do? I'm like, get up,

00:13:32.060 rub some dirt on it, wipe it off, do whatever, get back on that bike. And what does mom do? 1.00

00:13:35.840 Hey, come here. Let me hold you. Let me wipe that off. Let me, let me kiss it. Let me, uh,

00:13:41.060 let me wash it off and put a bandaid on it. Is she wrong? No. Am I wrong? No. And the kids need both

00:13:47.680 masculinity and femininity in harmony, but it isn't about being a chess feeder or a bleeder or a 0.94

00:13:57.240 birthing person or any of these other bullshit terms that people use because their ideology 0.85

00:14:01.960 doesn't line with the reality of the situation. And then the last point I want to make, and this 0.83

00:14:07.200 point is actually the same point I made last week with regards to men last week regarding masculinity.

00:14:12.320 I said that masculinity is not needed in society as much as it once was. That's the lie. Well,

00:14:18.860 the same holds true for femininity. That feminine femininity is not as needed as it once was. And 0.89

00:14:24.660 what do you hear people say? Right. Oh, woman, woman empowerment. I don't need a man. I can do this

00:14:30.240 all on my own. I don't need a man. Okay. Well, maybe you can, and maybe you, you've been put in the 0.98

00:14:35.460 position where you've had to. My mother was in that position. She raised my sister and I primarily on her

00:14:40.000 own, but even her, she would admit, she'd say, Hey, you know, that's not ideal. And it doesn't make you

00:14:46.200 weaker or pathetic or whatever to, to have a man in your life. Like what, what a silly, what a silly 1.00

00:14:54.260 thought that anytime you decide to partner with somebody else, it inherently makes you weaker. 0.94

00:15:01.180 Ladies, you're beautiful. You're strong in many ways. You're, you're, you're special. You're

00:15:07.420 important. You're an integral part of society, just like men are. And it doesn't make me weak

00:15:13.440 to decide that I want to partner with a woman and walk hand in hand with her through life.

00:15:17.300 And it doesn't make you weak for deciding you want the same from a man. Now I know you can open the

00:15:21.240 doors. I know you can put your luggage in the airplane the same way a guy can. I know you can 1.00

00:15:25.800 run and be fit. Like, I know you can do all these things. Everybody knows men know you can do these

00:15:30.420 things. But it, when, when I offer to hold a door open for a woman, by the way, I've never had a

00:15:37.180 woman to turn that down personally. I know that happens, but I've never had, it doesn't mean I

00:15:42.620 think you're incapable. It means I honor you. When a woman on the, comes on the airplane and she's got 1.00

00:15:47.680 a big, heavy roller and she's trying to put it up in the thing. And I say, Hey, can I help you? And

00:15:51.220 she's like, Oh sure. And I grab it and I put it. It doesn't mean I think she's weak. Like I think

00:15:55.900 she could probably get it. It means I, I honor you. I respect you. Like you're a woman. I think

00:16:01.180 that's my job to respect women. And you know, I already hear what people are saying. They're like, 0.97

00:16:05.540 Oh, well, you know, like they don't respect you. That's not true. Some maybe, but the women that I

00:16:11.120 know are beautiful and they're lovely and they're strong and they're convicted and they have empathy

00:16:16.000 and compassion and kindness and heart in a way that I don't. So femininity is needed, especially, 1.00

00:16:23.500 especially, especially in this cold society that we live in. Everything is cold. Everything is

00:16:29.900 calculated. Everything is methodical. Everything is kept track of scores are kept tallies are totaled.

00:16:37.040 And it's all about the bottom line. We need femininity now more than ever. Kindness, empathy, 0.99

00:16:46.120 nurturing, support, guidance, intuition, love. This is what we need. So ladies, please, as you hear

00:16:58.080 this, don't ever, ever think that you need to act like a man. Don't ever think like you're weak. Don't

00:17:04.140 ever think that you're not needed in society. You are just as much as men in a different way. And that's

00:17:09.500 okay. Not only is it, isn't okay. It's encouraged. It's, it's important. This is, this is crucial

00:17:18.100 that we have feminine women. We have masculine men all working to fulfill our roles. And even as I say

00:17:25.940 that, Oh, roles. Oh my gosh. Roles. Wow. Outdated. Oh, your tyrannical patriarchy. Roles. What are you

00:17:31.700 talking about? Yeah. Roles. Cause you know where your fulfillment is found in stepping into your

00:17:38.560 femininity. Nurturing kids, raising children, offering support, being nurturing. And where is

00:17:46.580 fulfillment found for men in protecting and providing and presiding? Surely you're capable

00:17:52.300 of some of those things, but I'm just telling you, our fulfillment is found in those things.

00:17:55.760 Your fulfillment is found in something else. And there's nothing wrong with that.

00:18:01.200 There's something very right about that actually. So I figured today, guys, I would share the four

00:18:06.660 great lies about femininity since I shared the four great lies about masculinity last week. And 0.91

00:18:10.640 I hope you agree. And if you don't, or I'm missing something, maybe I misinterpreted or maybe I missed

00:18:16.620 something altogether, then please shoot me a message on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, wherever, YouTube,

00:18:22.000 whatever. And let me know, let's continue the discussion, but guys, this stuff's crucial.

00:18:26.720 We're going to get more in depth in all this and we have, and we're going to do it even more so as we

00:18:30.840 move forward. All right, guys, remember our events, May 7th, you can go to manuncaged.com

00:18:35.740 slash live. And then May 28th is our Squire program out here, squireprogram.com slash Ryan.

00:18:43.480 All right, you guys, we will be back next week. Until then, go out there, take action and become

00:18:48.040 a man, or in this case, the woman you were meant to be.

00:18:50.820 Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast. You're ready to take charge of your life

00:18:55.280 and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the Order at orderofman.com.

Order of Man - April 22, 2022

4 Great Lies About Femininity ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

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