Order of Man

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.

00:00:06.020 When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.440 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong.

00:00:15.500 This is your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become.

00:00:19.760 At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.

00:00:25.280 Kip, what's up, man? Glad to have you back on the Ask Me Anything. It's going to be a good show today.

00:00:29.160 We've got to be fairly quick, I think, because you've got a hard stop here in the next hour or so.

00:00:33.280 So we're going to try to get through as many questions as we can.

00:00:35.700 Sounds good. We'll go straight up. David Goggins on the episode.

00:00:39.440 That's right. We were talking about it earlier.

00:00:42.280 I mean, to be able to have a conversation with David, it was the end of last week.

00:00:46.740 Sat down in the hotel with him and cranked it out, man. It was amazing.

00:00:51.020 One of the questions you were asking, though, before we hit record is,

00:00:54.680 did they get a hotel room and then just do back-to-back podcasts?

00:00:57.880 I think that's what you were asking.

00:00:59.420 Yeah.

00:01:00.560 No, they didn't do that. He was actually down in Las Vegas for a conference. He was speaking there.

00:01:05.980 I don't know what conference it was. And he told me he turned down over 200 podcast interview requests.

00:01:12.680 Yeah, he said that.

00:01:13.440 Yeah. So I think ours was the 15th that he did, which might sound like a lot,

00:01:19.720 but when you're doing a book launch, it really isn't a whole lot of podcasts to do 15 and to be able to make that cut.

00:01:25.680 And then ours was the last one he was doing.

00:01:27.460 So, yeah, I just went down there.

00:01:31.020 They connected us, just went down there, sat down with him, and then he did his weekend thing, whatever it was he was doing that weekend.

00:01:39.420 So working out, I'm sure.

00:01:40.940 That's awesome.

00:01:42.460 Running constantly is what he is.

00:01:44.980 Yeah. Well, I know I was talking with his fiance and him, and he said that. He's like, all right, man, I got to go work out when we were done.

00:01:51.120 So he went and worked out after we were done with the podcast.

00:01:53.680 And working out to him is a little different, a lot different than what we would consider a workout.

00:01:59.000 You know, we consider a workout, going to the gym for 45 minutes, and actually half of the 45 minutes is spent dinking around, checking Facebook, or moving between weights or whatever else. 0.62

00:02:09.340 And this guy is insane. Absolutely insane. 0.94

00:02:12.560 Yeah. I'm sure. Just like a balls out. I'll see you in five hours.

00:02:16.380 Yeah. Oh, absolutely. Yep. 100%.

00:02:18.220 Yeah. Crazy.

00:02:19.540 Yeah, man. You had a busy weekend, though, too. You had your, what was it called? Proving Grounds Invitational?

00:02:23.720 Yeah. Proving Grounds Invitational. Order Man was a sponsor.

00:02:27.100 That's right, man.

00:02:28.280 Sponsored the middleweight division. It was awesome. It was great.

00:02:32.240 It was, think of it as like an, think of it as UFC fight card, but it's all jujitsu and grappling instead.

00:02:40.880 So we have guys that match up fighters, align them. We have a card. We have an MC. You know what I mean?

00:02:48.420 And we, and we worked through the brackets as part of the event. It was in this old restored church, downtown Salt Lake called Church and State. And it was, it was cool.

00:02:58.260 It was cool. It looked cool, man. I was excited that you were able to do that and get that done. Speaking of UFC, did you see the fights?

00:03:04.660 Oh, I know. Yeah, it's tough.

00:03:06.920 What's your call, man, on the Dillashaw and Cejudo fight? Did they stop it early?

00:03:10.800 I would say it's a tad early, especially for a title fight. However, you cannot deny the fact that Dillashaw is against the ropes, man.

00:03:20.320 I mean, he was taking damage for sure.

00:03:22.020 He was in trouble.

00:03:22.620 Yeah.

00:03:23.260 He may have been able to recover or he may not have. It could have gone either way. And it was to me, like from my perspective, and I'm not an expert. You're more so than I am.

00:03:33.720 From my perspective, you could make a case or an argument for either way, either stopping it or they stopped it too early.

00:03:43.560 Yeah. I mean, he did look like he got zinged a couple of times.

00:03:46.440 Oh, yeah. Especially in the replays. Yeah. He looked like he got.

00:03:49.780 Yeah. He was getting, he was getting hurt a little bit. So it's just on these title fights, you know, you almost want to give him the benefit of the doubt and just kind of take, let them take a little bit more damage than normal, just in case.

00:04:00.960 Yeah. It was interesting because I heard one of the announcers or commentators, I guess you'd say, he said, he said something really interesting. He said, sometimes you've got to save these fighters from themselves.

00:04:12.640 Totally.

00:04:13.040 Because if you take a guy like Dillashaw at the highest possible level he could be fighting at and others as well is they will sacrifice themselves, their health for a title or for that fight. And so I could definitely see how that is applicable for sure.

00:04:32.560 Yeah. Fighter mentality, man. These guys are crazy. I've trained with some guys that they would almost die if you didn't throw a talent, you know, so I've seen it. We saw it this weekend at that PGI tournament.

00:04:45.200 I bet, man.

00:04:45.820 I heard, I heard, I heard the guy's knee and his Achilles stretching and popping and he's not tapping.

00:04:54.260 On like a heel hook or what was it on?

00:04:56.140 Yeah, on a heel hook and he would not tap. He was just like, no, I'm not tapping. I'm like, you crazy sort of.

00:05:01.960 And then eventually he tapped. 0.94

00:05:03.840 Eventually. Yeah.

00:05:04.860 Yeah.

00:05:05.160 But it's just like, dude, you just tap earlier.

00:05:07.460 Crazy.

00:05:07.980 That is crazy, man.

00:05:10.140 Yeah.

00:05:10.460 So it's just a different world. And I guess there's probably things that, that maybe we would fight to that level for as well.

00:05:16.720 It's just, it's just a different priority. It's really fascinating.

00:05:19.620 And to your point, look at Goggins, man. You read that book and it's like, this guy is, there's some crazy in there, right?

00:05:26.460 Like I'm unprepared. I'm going to run this, this crazy race. I'm going to do my first Ironman in Kona.

00:05:33.420 Like, and you don't think he's hurting, like hurting and destroying his body. He certainly is.

00:05:41.860 And he knows it. And he knows it. And when you listen to the rest of that podcast, you'll hear, he knows it. He talks about, maybe, maybe you heard it already, but he started talking about some of that.

00:05:51.600 Yeah. How, how he said, you know, I paid the man and I would gladly do it all over again. I mean, he broke himself down and he knows it. And he's still, he's still suffering the consequences physically of some of the, the, the hell that he put himself through.

00:06:07.040 Yeah.

00:06:07.920 Yeah. Well, let's get into it, man. Shall we?

00:06:11.200 Yeah. Yeah. So we, we covered, um, Patreon and Iron Council questions last week.

00:06:17.620 Yeah. Uh, we, you guys certainly stepped up to the game and gave us a lot, a whole lot of questions. We got through those last week and now we're down to the Facebook group. So that's where these questions are coming from.

00:06:29.020 Yes, sir.

00:06:29.900 All right. We'll dive into it.

00:06:31.760 All right. John call. I've had a stepdaughter for about two years now, but my wife and I just had our first son together. Any advice for a first time dad of a newborn? Congrats to Kip and his wife on their recent birth. Also, thanks for all that you guys do.

00:06:48.060 Uh, hope you guys had a great holiday. Happy new year.

00:06:51.740 I mean, the advice that I have is all the advice you hear, right? Like, like take care of her, make sure you're doing this stuff for you still. Um, just, just roll with it as best you can. This is temporary. It's going to be tough for a little while. You hear all that stuff.

00:07:06.700 Seasons. Yeah.

00:07:07.580 Seasons. Right. So the advice that I would give you something different than maybe you've heard in the past is just remember from this point on.

00:07:15.540 And it was before, cause you have a stepdaughter. I believe he said that you, your job now as a father is to render yourself obsolete.

00:07:25.100 That is your primary responsibility. Your primary responsibility is to put yourself out of a job.

00:07:29.440 So when you're approached with a situation or just interaction on a daily basis with your daughter and your son, just remember that everything that you do should be designed to put yourself out of work.

00:07:44.500 So how can you teach now? A newborn is a little different, right? There's, you can't teach a newborn how to be self-reliant, right? But just keep that in mind because you've heard all the other stuff. You know what it is. Just roll with it. Do what you know you should be doing.

00:07:59.120 But just keep in mind as an overarching principle that your job as a father is to put yourself out of work and it's awkward and it's uncomfortable and it's not always fun.

00:08:09.680 And you're going to need to have some serious conversations and do some things as far as discipline and structure and guidance that isn't always easy or enjoyable or pleasurable, but that is your job and that is your focus.

00:08:22.200 And I think if more parents, both fathers and mothers recognize that their job is to become obsolete, the world would be a completely different place.

00:08:33.880 Because I think what happens as fathers and mothers is we take the path of least resistance and the path of least resistance is to make our children, quote unquote, happy, right?

00:08:42.840 If we can make them happy and we're conditioned that way because what do babies do? They cry.

00:08:46.420 So we give them what they want until they stop crying. That behavior, it doesn't change down the road or at least the underlying principle of the behavior.

00:08:56.880 Yeah.

00:08:57.080 The behavior, the way they do it because they start to become manipulative and everything else.

00:09:00.800 But human beings, little infants by design are manipulative. They are manipulating you.

00:09:06.280 You have to understand what is the best approach based on the overall objective of rendering yourself obsolete.

00:09:12.240 Yeah. Copy.

00:09:14.080 All right. Moving on.

00:09:16.920 Eric Collum, helping a spouse deal with postpartum and the stress of a newborn while still stretching thin at her own career.

00:09:26.180 I don't know. If somebody else has this figured out, then they're better off than just about 99% of us.

00:09:33.560 Give her space. Sounds like you recognize and understand what's going on.

00:09:37.600 My wife dealt with this. It was very, very difficult, especially for our first baby.

00:09:41.780 She recognized it for our subsequent three and that was good.

00:09:46.880 But have a plan. Keep the lines of communication open.

00:09:49.700 She recognizes it. So I would keep those lines of communication open, talking with her, figuring out, okay, when this happens or you're feeling down, how is it that I can help?

00:09:58.880 Does it help for me to take the baby? Does it help for me to leave you alone? Does it help for me to support around the house?

00:10:05.660 Figure out what support and help looks like to her so that you can do and be those things and supportive in the way that she needs it.

00:10:13.180 Because I know a lot of guys, by default, they'll go in and try to fix it.

00:10:16.640 Oh, just be happy and just, just, it's okay and everything will be fine.

00:10:20.640 And I mean, look, I haven't been in that situation, but I imagine that if you're dealing with that, the last thing you want to hear is, oh, it's okay and you'll be fine and be, you know, pandered to a little bit.

00:10:33.560 That would be flat out annoying. So don't make it worse by handling it the way you think you should handle it.

00:10:39.480 Lines of communication open, figure out what would be helpful to her and engage in those things.

00:10:45.980 Yeah. The only thing I'd add is, is have like a, I don't know what, what you'd call it, but some type of rule of, hey, if you're crazy stressed, whether we planned it or not, or it's not my time with the kid or whatever.

00:10:59.760 And you reach this heightened level of like, I'm, I can't deal. Then you just come to me and say, I can't deal. And, and I'll take care of the kids. I'll watch the baby. I'll do whatever you go for a drive, you go for a walk, you go for run, you know, and, and be able to allow her to, uh, impromptu have those opportunities to step away because a lot of the time where their stress is not going to be planned, right?

00:11:24.780 It's, it's going to be in this moment of crisis and, and they need someone to be able to just step in and, and take care of things so they can.

00:11:32.180 Yeah. Yeah. I agree. And I would also say that when, when times aren't bad, when she's not feeling this way and she's feeling uplifted and positive, those are times where you can have conversations about this stuff because I'll tell you from my experience, the way that she's going to feel when she's getting this way,

00:11:48.780 she's going to think she's a bad mom. Yeah. And so if you rush in and save and like, Oh, just go for a drive. And what she hears is neglect your motherly responsibilities and duties.

00:12:00.160 And so she's going to think, Oh, I'm a bad mom. I shouldn't be doing this. I shouldn't feel this way. And then this whole problem just compounds. It's a cycle.

00:12:08.900 So when, when things are good and it's not so emotionally unstable, that's a good time to have a conversation about expectations and how to handle it when things are off and, and they will be off.

00:12:22.800 Yeah. Hmm. Good call. Ellis Lloyd Williams, his question, would you advise, what would your advice be to work hard at a career while you're still young and do all the things you want to do later in life or vice versa?

00:12:37.240 I don't think those are mutually exclusive terms. Yeah. I don't think you have to choose.

00:12:45.280 Yeah. Um, you would agree Ryan though, that most people think they do right. That, that you can't do both.

00:12:52.240 Yeah. I believe that's probably true, but I think that you can work hard and that you can be diligent. Now, should you be going out and drinking with your buddies all weekend and acting crazy and neglecting your responsibilities or your opportunities for growth?

00:13:06.740 No, I don't think so. I think that you, you should be diligent in your studies or diligent in securing a promotion or diligent in your work duties and obligations and responsibilities.

00:13:16.660 And that way, when all your buddies are still trying to, trying to figure out where the latest party is, you're knee deep in a potentially rewarding career. But that doesn't mean that you can't take time for yourself. I mean, we can engage in so many different things and so many different opportunities and experiences that to just to say that, uh, you can't do both.

00:13:37.140 I think is, is, is, is misleading yourself and limiting some opportunities that may otherwise arise.

00:13:43.340 Yeah. I can't help, but think about what we talked about last week, the, the difference between, and I can't remember the terms that you use Ryan, but kind of this, this pursuit of, um, uh, I shouldn't even say pursuit of happiness. Cause then we all think of the movie.

00:13:58.840 Um, but it's the right term, but this pursuit of happiness versus this pursuit of gratification or fulfillment or satisfaction.

00:14:08.840 And so I think as long as you're young and you've gotten past this, this, this, this folly of happiness, right. Of seeking happiness only, um, then it doesn't matter. Right. Because then you're not wasting your time. Right. Then you are going after things that are meaningful. You're creating memories. You are, uh, doing these things that are a little bit more substantial in your life than just, uh, living in the moment. Yeah. Would you say that?

00:14:37.520 Yeah, for sure. And I, and I think one of the hardest things for me, because I'm a serious guy, most people kind of understand that if they've been listening to the podcast around for any amount of time, it's like, it was really hard for me to figure out why the hell I would go out and hang out with people.

00:14:50.980 Yeah.

00:14:51.340 Cause I thought that was like a waste of time. Like we just go out and we drink or we just socialize or we just watch the game. Like that sounds ridiculous. That sounds like a huge waste of time. But what I had to learn is that this is how people connect.

00:15:03.920 And as long as I was deliberate and intentional about the way that I was doing it and who I was surrounding myself with, uh, then I felt like it was part of, well, let me put it this way, that it was an opportunity to expand my capacity, expand my network, which would at some future date, extend, expand my potential for, for growth and progress in my career and every other aspect of life.

00:15:29.920 I go to conferences, for example, I'm like, I'm not here to just hang out. I mean, I'm, I, I pick and choose the conferences I go to very intentionally, very deliberately. And although I enjoy spending time with people and quote unquote, having fun, um, it's still, there's still a lot of intention behind it so that it is yes, fun and uplifting, but it's also purpose driven and meaningful to me as well.

00:15:52.000 Yeah. You're just not killing time.

00:15:53.520 Right. I'm just not going out and drinking my life away. That's ridiculous. It's, Hey, I'm going to engage with people that edify me, that uplift me and can help me become a better human being.

00:16:02.400 Yeah. Copy. All right. Chris and Drioni, Drioni wife wants more family time together. Two teenage daughters could not be more polar opposite of each other. It's almost like they scheme and wait for one to say what, what, wait for one to say they want to do something. So the other can say they don't almost all family time adventures turn into a fight. I'll own this. It's totally my fault.

00:16:29.340 I gave up on the leadership role years ago while focusing on growing my business lessons learned. How do I fix it now? Three women all want different things. I just want harmony. 1.00

00:16:39.520 It's not just women. Men want different things too. So let's not blame it on women. Let's not say that it's women. You know, I know men who are just as temperamental about what it is they're going to be doing on any given Saturday night or whatever it may be.

00:16:51.560 Yeah. In his world, it's three women. Yeah. 0.92

00:16:53.500 Right. Of course. I'm not denying that. I'm just saying this is not a specific or exclusive to women. This is just the human condition. Everybody wants different things. So you need to, you said it yourself. What's the solution? To be a leader. To step back into the leadership role that you are capable of stepping into and that you have an obligation to step into as the lead of the house and the father of the home and the husband of the home as well.

00:17:17.660 Even late in the game.

00:17:19.600 But it's never too late. What are you going to do? Throw up your hands and say, well, because I wasn't a leader for the first 15 years of life, I guess I'm out. Like it's too late. No, you still have time. You still have an opportunity. So you've got to lead by example. Number one, you've got to communicate expectations. And I would say when it comes to differing and disagreeing opinions on what we should do. First of all, it's not really a democracy.

00:17:42.420 Like my, my house is not a democracy. My wife and I ultimately decide what is going to happen within the household. Now we allow our children to some degree, have some input and say in the way that we're going to engage and spend our time.

00:17:56.280 But at the end of the day that we decide that's how it goes. That's the rule. And that's the expectation. So if you're springing things on people last minute and saying, Hey, we're trying to figure out what we should do this weekend. What do you guys think? Of course, that's going to turn into a knockout drag down fight because you gave them right. The decision. Right. So communicate it early. One thing that we do in our house is every morning we have a family meeting in addition to some other things that we do.

00:18:23.100 And we talk about what's going to be happening throughout the day, where people are going to be, what classes or sports activities we have. If mom and I are going out on a date, what we're going to be doing moving into the weekend so that we can all prepare ourselves physically and mentally for what's going to take place in the next 24 hours.

00:18:41.100 Because the ability to communicate these things effectively up front has been instrumental in making sure that everybody's on the same page. But we also talk about sacrifice and understanding that the world doesn't revolve around any one of us.

00:18:55.660 My kids know that the world doesn't revolve around you. Sometimes we're going to go out and we're going to engage in an activity that might not be at the top of your list, but today's not about you. So get over it. This is a very selfish attitude. It needs to be addressed.

00:19:07.680 Yeah. And I can't help but say like, how many times have we had our kids say, Oh, I don't want to do that. And then you do it. And they're like, Oh, that was so fun. I'm so glad we did that. Right.

00:19:16.720 It's like, right. I mean, ask them for input, but in the end, I mean, ultimately you and your wife probably know what's best for your daughters and what's best for the family.

00:19:24.940 The other day, um, my, my second son, he wasn't feeling very well. He's a little under the weather and he had an attitude that went with it, of course. Right. So, so I knew my wife needed a break. Speaking about this earlier and we, she just needed a break. I could tell like it was getting to her that day.

00:19:41.140 Yeah. And so I, I said, Hey kids, let's go. I got to go get my, my truck washed. And if you have little kids like going, taking your truck through the car wash is a fun thing for kids, right? Like it's so insignificant, but kids love for whatever reason to go into the car wash and see the car get washed while they're sitting in it. So I'm like, Hey guys, just get in. I got to go with my truck washed. And three of my kids are like, yeah, awesome. Let's jump in.

00:20:05.360 And in my other little guy, he was not feeling well. He was mad as it was. He was like, yeah, that's stupid. I'm not doing that. I'm staying here. I said, no, you're not staying here. You're going to get your butt out of the house. You're going to get in the car and you're going to come with me.

00:20:21.900 Yeah. You're like, you sit in the bed.

00:20:24.440 Right. Yeah, exactly. Let's wash you off here. Yeah. You know, but I told him and I explained why, Hey mom just needs a breather for a minute. I got to get my truck washed anyways. We're going to go out. We're going to take 20, 30,

00:20:35.360 minutes and get this done. And then we're going to come back and all is going to be well. And he was so pissed off, so pissed off until we got into the car wash. And then he's just staring out the window, watching the soap and watching the machine do its thing. And he loved it. You know, so you're the dad, be assertive, put your foot down, but at the same time, communicate the expectations and the standard very clearly upfront and give them time to process it too.

00:20:59.520 Yeah. Yeah. Especially if they're boys, it seems, that seems like a boy thing. Like that's a me thing for sure.

00:21:06.340 What, what part of it?

00:21:07.620 Time to process stuff, right? Like Asia could, Asia could tell me on Sunday and say, this is going to be the, your worst week possible. I need you double time helping on all these things. Like, and, and, and if she told me that on Sunday, my ability to deal with that is, is pretty, pretty good.

00:21:27.780 Sure. But if Tuesday at 4 PM, she goes, Oh, Hey, by the way, I need this tonight. And you know what I mean? Then I'm like, uh, like for whatever reason, for me, it's like, I can process it. If I have, if I, if I'm notified ahead of time, I can almost do it.

00:21:44.200 I don't think it's a man's thing. No, no, I think it's a personality thing.

00:21:48.240 That's why I blame it on it. I blame it as a man thing.

00:21:50.360 So, no, I don't. I, I mean, I, I need that advance notice because if I don't have it, then I can't adjust my schedule and plan things accordingly and really do the things that I need to do in order to be adequately prepared for that thing. But I don't think that's it. I don't think that's gender specific. I just think that's the way that we approach. Like, are you an organized person who needs structure and discipline? Or are you a free spirit? If you will, who's like, let's just do it. Cause it sounds fun.

00:22:17.700 And, and I know both men and women who fall. My wife's like that too, which is probably why you're attracted to your wife. And I'm attracted to my wife because it balance, it's that yin and yang, right? It balances it out. It's kind of, it's, it's intriguing and fascinating to me. And at the same time, it's frustrating, you know, but it's a side of me that I don't have. And I think you and I are very much in alignment that way. Not because we're men, just because that's our personality.

00:22:43.380 Yeah. Well, and luckily for our kids, they get a little both. Cause my kids crack joke all the time. It's like, oh, mom's leaving tonight. Great. We're now, we're going to be stuck home cleaning the house and organizing things. Cause that's exact. I mean, that's my mode, right? It's like, all right, let's get something done and productivity, man. Let's feel good in three hours from now.

00:23:03.620 Yep. Yeah. You and me are very, very much alike in that.

00:23:07.180 That's funny. That's funny. All right. Justin Finney. Next question. I have been trying to work on eye contact. I thought this was a really interesting question, by the way. I've been trying to work on eye contact as well as walking with my head up. I'm a really outgoing person. So I don't know, even know why I need to do this. I feel now that I'm trying to work on this. It feels forced and awkward and other people can sense it. Does this go away? And is there anything I can do to make it feel natural?

00:23:34.420 So I was thinking about, um, as you're reading this, I was thinking about, uh, playing catch last year with, with my sons. Cause we play, we play sports all year long, but we're kind of getting close where we're getting into baseball season.

00:23:49.700 Yeah. And I was playing catch and I'm right-handed. So I was playing catch with my son and my, my second son, and he was having a really hard time throwing the ball. I'm like, what is your problem?

00:23:59.720 Like, does he look awkward too? Yeah. He just looks like he's out of water. Ridiculous. And I'm like, what is your problem? Like just grab the ball and step and throw it. And then I stopped for a second. I said, well, wait a second. Like, what if, what if I try to throw left-handed? So that's what I did. I took my glove off and I started throwing left-handed. And I, the things that I was saying to him,

00:24:25.580 I had to turn around and say to myself, like, what is your problem? You know, how to throw a baseball, you know, the mechanics of leverage and getting speed and velocity on the ball. You know how to grip the ball, you know, your stance and you know, all of that stuff. And yet you can't do it because you're not familiar with it. That's it. That's all it is.

00:24:47.600 So this gentleman who's having a hard time with eye contact and keeping himself upright. Yeah. It feels awkward because you're not used to doing it. It sounds like. That's it. That's the only reason it feels awkward. So just keep doing it. Just keep practicing. You'll get more natural. But yeah, anytime you're doing something new, it's going to feel awkward. It's going to feel stupid. It's going to feel silly. That's a good indicator that you've put yourself in a position to learn something new that you haven't quite mastered yet. So just keep doing it. Just keep doing it.

00:25:17.480 You're good. Keep going.

00:25:18.440 And Justin, people are probably just noticing you because your presence is better, right? You couldn't ask that. I don't, you don't know that if you look awkward or not, you're putting that meaning and you're assuming that people are noticing that you're quote-unquote.

00:25:31.040 I would actually push back on that.

00:25:32.820 You think?

00:25:33.220 Yeah.

00:25:33.860 You think so?

00:25:34.480 Yeah. Because if you're feeling it, there's some legitimacy to it.

00:25:38.580 That's true. Like if you feel awkward, people will see awkward.

00:25:42.440 Right. And I think it's better to own it.

00:25:46.680 Yeah.

00:25:47.480 Like I would say, so I would take the alternate of that, like putting meaning to it. I would just say, own it.

00:25:52.780 What I mean by that is just internalize that. Yeah, I feel awkward, but that's cool because it means I'm doing something different.

00:25:58.600 Yeah.

00:25:59.420 Like I even, when I first got on stage, I was so uncomfortable and so nervous and so scared.

00:26:05.660 And I would just like struggle my way through a presentation.

00:26:08.540 And I think the audience resonated with that.

00:26:11.040 They saw how uncomfortable and awkward I was.

00:26:13.180 But what I started doing is I started, when I got out on stage, I would say, hey, I'm feeling really awkward right now.

00:26:21.980 I would just own it.

00:26:23.540 So, I'd get out there and I'd say, hey, I'm so glad to be here.

00:26:26.940 I would be lying if I didn't tell you I was a little, I wasn't a little nervous with all the eyeballs on me, but I'm working through it.

00:26:33.280 So, bear with me.

00:26:34.100 I really appreciate you giving me this opportunity to share some of my ideas with you.

00:26:38.120 What was your thing?

00:26:38.780 It was like hands?

00:26:39.540 You didn't know what to do with your hands?

00:26:40.880 Hands are always weird.

00:26:41.940 I don't know what to do with those.

00:26:44.020 I really got in the habit of pacing a lot.

00:26:46.800 Like just pace from side to side.

00:26:48.100 Pace, pace, pace, pace, pace.

00:26:49.620 I didn't understand a lot.

00:26:51.540 I didn't understand tempo.

00:26:53.060 I didn't understand how to slow down your words and really make a point.

00:26:58.500 I rushed through everything.

00:27:00.220 I couldn't tell stories very well.

00:27:02.760 Yeah, I really struggled.

00:27:04.000 But I just owned it.

00:27:05.000 And you know what's really interesting about owning it?

00:27:07.160 Is people are more lenient of that as well.

00:27:09.900 Yeah, because you're authentic.

00:27:12.380 You're authentic.

00:27:13.320 That's right.

00:27:15.940 We're not going to use that word in every podcast.

00:27:18.740 You're raw.

00:27:20.300 Yes.

00:27:21.440 People understand that because they resonate with it.

00:27:25.020 They know.

00:27:25.940 They can relate.

00:27:26.940 Scary.

00:27:27.960 Dude, I know what it feels like to be up there.

00:27:30.020 I resonate with you.

00:27:30.940 Thank you for being real about that.

00:27:32.640 Yeah, cool.

00:27:33.560 There you go, Justin.

00:27:34.360 There's your marching orders.

00:27:36.360 Cameron Barron, what would you say are the top five skills

00:27:39.280 we should teach our boys to help them become solid young men

00:27:42.180 and eventually great men.

00:27:43.900 I've got a four-year-old boy,

00:27:45.860 and there are many skills that I lack due to my dad being a workaholic

00:27:50.240 and not taking the time to teach me.

00:27:53.140 I'd like to teach myself before he's at an age where I can teach him.

00:27:58.200 I like the distinction you made.

00:27:59.340 I think you made this distinction maybe a couple, two or three weeks ago.

00:28:02.700 And you said there's the hard skills,

00:28:04.520 and then there's the soft skills.

00:28:07.180 Yeah.

00:28:07.660 So, the hard skills would be change a tire,

00:28:11.460 know some basic electrical and plumbing for around the house,

00:28:15.980 know some basic, you know, mechanical stuff for your vehicle.

00:28:22.260 What else?

00:28:23.180 Know some basic medical supplies, I would say, would be pretty important.

00:28:27.040 Knowing how to shoot a firearm, knowing how to defend yourself.

00:28:29.300 Like, these type of skills that we would generally consider manly,

00:28:32.720 but they're hard skills, right?

00:28:34.140 Those are actually the easy ones,

00:28:35.980 because you can just read a book or watch a YouTube video,

00:28:38.200 and you're like, oh, cool.

00:28:39.040 I know how to do it now, right?

00:28:41.680 But I also agree with what you said about the soft skills,

00:28:44.920 and those are infinitely harder.

00:28:46.480 They're harder to develop.

00:28:47.400 They're harder to recognize,

00:28:48.460 and they take a lot more time to actually develop.

00:28:50.540 So, what would I say those are?

00:28:52.200 I would say discipline is critical.

00:28:56.540 Work ethic is very, very important.

00:28:59.620 The ability to communicate ideas effectively

00:29:02.360 is probably one of the single greatest assets

00:29:04.960 that a person could possess.

00:29:09.740 There's three.

00:29:10.560 What would you add to that?

00:29:14.760 I mean, there's an infinite number of skills,

00:29:17.820 soft skills, that is, and hard skills as well.

00:29:20.520 But yeah, I would say discipline.

00:29:21.700 I'd throw that violence in there a little bit.

00:29:23.940 What'd you say?

00:29:24.820 Handling, dealing with your aggression or...

00:29:27.960 Yeah, I would call that like emotional...

00:29:29.700 Mental fortitude.

00:29:30.200 Mental fortitude or even just emotional maturity.

00:29:33.060 Yeah.

00:29:34.220 Yeah.

00:29:35.060 Yeah, grit, fortitude, all of those things.

00:29:38.360 Yeah.

00:29:39.080 Yeah.

00:29:40.140 Cool.

00:29:40.560 Cool.

00:29:41.180 All right.

00:29:41.900 Paul Simmered.

00:29:43.700 The point of order of man is to help men 0.97

00:29:46.060 reclaim their sovereignty.

00:29:47.820 With the exception of acute medical conditions,

00:29:50.380 to what extent do you feel working on that reclaiming

00:29:53.540 could replace medical treatment?

00:29:55.700 I know you're not doctors,

00:29:57.240 but this is something I've been thinking a lot about

00:29:59.160 this past several months.

00:30:00.800 Thanks.

00:30:01.340 Best podcast out there for this critical work.

00:30:03.880 I just want to make sure I clarify here.

00:30:07.700 He's saying like how does the ability to take care of yourself

00:30:11.180 medically will help with your sovereignty?

00:30:16.120 Is that what you think he's asking?

00:30:17.900 Well, I mean, really, it's like Phil working on...

00:30:20.440 Reclaiming could replace your medical treatment.

00:30:22.700 So, people getting medical treatment,

00:30:25.980 how much of that could be removed and unneeded

00:30:30.360 if men reclaimed their sovereignty?

00:30:32.600 Oh, a huge percentage of it.

00:30:34.400 A huge percentage of it.

00:30:35.900 So, let me give you an example.

00:30:37.860 If you're eating Burger King every day

00:30:40.180 and you're 50 to 60 to 80 pounds overweight,

00:30:43.060 you're going to get diabetes.

00:30:45.980 Period.

00:30:46.960 You're going to get diabetes.

00:30:48.600 And if you don't, you're going to have high blood pressure.

00:30:50.640 You're not going to sleep well.

00:30:52.380 You're going to have all sorts of problems

00:30:54.060 that stem from having an extra 50 pounds on you.

00:30:56.540 I know it because I was there.

00:30:58.360 And so, when I would sleep at night,

00:30:59.560 I had restless leg syndrome and I had sleep apnea.

00:31:02.980 Why?

00:31:03.540 Because there was a big layer of fat

00:31:06.280 literally trying to suffocate me at night.

00:31:09.640 So, when I lost my weight,

00:31:11.820 restless leg syndrome went away.

00:31:13.940 Sleep apnea went away.

00:31:15.860 I stopped snoring.

00:31:17.400 These are all minor things,

00:31:18.520 but they could turn into more serious problems.

00:31:21.600 But because I reclaim my sovereignty,

00:31:23.660 it's the adage, discipline equals freedom.

00:31:25.820 Jaco says that, of course.

00:31:26.820 And Aristotle said,

00:31:27.800 through discipline comes freedom.

00:31:28.960 He said that 2,000 years ago.

00:31:30.940 So, if you ditch, in this case, the Burger King

00:31:33.600 and instead decide to eat organic,

00:31:37.760 you know, organic, healthy, quality sourced meats,

00:31:42.380 you are eating vegetables and fruit,

00:31:45.100 you're cutting out processed sugar,

00:31:46.460 you're eating or drinking enough water.

00:31:49.100 These are all, these all require discipline.

00:31:51.580 That is how you regain your sovereignty.

00:31:54.780 Would you also include medical,

00:31:57.020 mental as well?

00:31:59.760 How so?

00:32:00.440 How do you mean?

00:32:01.240 Well, I mean, I can't help but think that like,

00:32:03.900 I mean,

00:32:04.620 like Paul said, right?

00:32:06.340 We're not doctors.

00:32:07.040 But I can't help but think that a great deal of individuals

00:32:11.140 are on meds for mental health

00:32:15.960 based upon the fact that they haven't,

00:32:18.680 they're not living fulfilled lives.

00:32:21.760 Oh, 100%.

00:32:22.000 That they're not addressing the problem at home,

00:32:24.860 that they're depressed,

00:32:25.760 that they feel unfulfilled,

00:32:27.180 that, you know what I mean?

00:32:28.460 And they're looking for a pill to solve

00:32:31.880 the mindset problem that they're choosing not to address.

00:32:35.640 Right. 1.00

00:32:36.300 Look, if you can't handle your shit, 1.00

00:32:38.600 and we'll just say that, 1.00

00:32:39.460 because that's what it is.

00:32:40.420 And I'm talking about at every level.

00:32:42.500 Even what we talked about earlier,

00:32:44.240 if you can't change a tire on your car,

00:32:46.920 then you have given away your sovereignty.

00:32:50.120 Because what happens if you get a flat tire? 1.00

00:32:53.160 You have to sit there like an idiot 1.00

00:32:55.260 waiting for AA to come pick you up. 1.00

00:32:58.400 Or AAA, excuse me, not AA.

00:33:00.500 AAA to come pick you up.

00:33:03.000 That's a lack of sovereignty.

00:33:04.980 You are now relying upon some other person

00:33:07.980 or some organization to do something

00:33:10.380 that you should know how to fix.

00:33:12.460 I feel like a victim.

00:33:13.860 You are a victim.

00:33:15.000 Because you're helpless.

00:33:16.180 And you've done nothing to get yourself

00:33:18.360 out of that position.

00:33:19.980 If you're broke, 0.99

00:33:21.100 because you can't get your ass out of bed 0.99

00:33:23.800 a little early and study 0.98

00:33:24.860 and get a new designation or a new degree

00:33:26.740 or turn in some job applications

00:33:28.860 or secure a promotion,

00:33:30.280 and now you're up to your eyeballs in debt,

00:33:32.120 you have given your sovereignty to your creditors.

00:33:35.340 So every time we give away some sort of authority

00:33:38.400 or responsibility that we should possess ourselves,

00:33:41.180 we give away our sovereignty.

00:33:42.580 We begin to enslave ourselves to other people,

00:33:46.180 other institutions,

00:33:47.760 the governments,

00:33:48.960 creditors,

00:33:49.940 even the healthcare industry,

00:33:51.680 prescription medication,

00:33:52.700 because we aren't willing to do

00:33:54.740 what needs to be done

00:33:55.820 in order to maintain control

00:33:57.600 and sovereignty over our own lives.

00:33:59.360 Yeah.

00:34:00.460 I'm such on the Goggins train, man.

00:34:02.780 And you have to say this,

00:34:04.340 like,

00:34:04.940 and sometimes it's not fair,

00:34:07.340 right?

00:34:07.620 We could all,

00:34:08.380 everyone that's listened to Goggins,

00:34:09.920 read Goggins' book

00:34:11.100 or listened to it,

00:34:11.840 we could all argue 0.98

00:34:12.980 that he was dealt a shitty hand. 0.96

00:34:16.060 Of course. 0.96

00:34:16.600 And not only,

00:34:18.260 but then we could also justify

00:34:19.880 that if he ended up

00:34:22.100 living an ineffective life,

00:34:24.660 ended up on meds for the rest of his life,

00:34:26.660 was highly depressed,

00:34:27.800 we would all excuse that away

00:34:29.700 and say,

00:34:30.600 you know what?

00:34:31.720 Yeah,

00:34:31.960 it's understandable.

00:34:32.820 Look how his upbringing was,

00:34:34.820 right?

00:34:35.040 Look what he had to deal with.

00:34:36.740 But guess what?

00:34:38.180 He did it.

00:34:39.900 He did it.

00:34:41.600 And not only did he not do those things,

00:34:43.680 but he dealt with it.

00:34:44.860 Like,

00:34:45.120 to your point, 1.00

00:34:45.760 he dealt with his shit 1.00

00:34:47.000 and now look how crazy inspirational 1.00

00:34:49.580 that guy is.

00:34:51.100 Well,

00:34:51.600 forget about the inspiration.

00:34:52.980 Just think about the quality of his life.

00:34:55.320 Yeah.

00:34:56.340 Yeah.

00:34:56.980 I mean,

00:34:57.200 think about how fulfilled he is,

00:34:58.560 how satisfied he is.

00:35:00.240 Totally.

00:35:00.900 And he has every excuse

00:35:02.200 and reason not to.

00:35:03.660 Yes,

00:35:03.940 he does.

00:35:04.600 And we actually talked about

00:35:05.780 that in the podcast

00:35:06.880 about what separates an individual

00:35:08.720 who does what he does.

00:35:09.840 Because I even said,

00:35:10.520 I'm like,

00:35:10.740 let's be honest,

00:35:11.280 you're not the only one

00:35:12.280 to be dealt this hand

00:35:13.060 you're talking about.

00:35:13.800 He's like,

00:35:14.040 yeah,

00:35:14.160 that's true.

00:35:15.220 And so I said,

00:35:16.080 well,

00:35:16.180 what's the difference

00:35:16.880 between a guy like you

00:35:18.100 and somebody who decides

00:35:20.380 to use that as an excuse

00:35:22.480 or a reason to fail in life?

00:35:25.080 So go check it out.

00:35:26.240 But yeah,

00:35:26.560 I mean,

00:35:27.020 yeah,

00:35:28.320 you don't want to give away

00:35:29.280 your sovereignty.

00:35:29.920 You don't want to give away

00:35:30.840 your control.

00:35:31.520 Now,

00:35:31.640 that doesn't mean

00:35:32.260 that you can't be helped

00:35:33.160 occasionally.

00:35:33.980 That doesn't mean

00:35:34.540 that you can't have a team

00:35:35.640 there to support

00:35:36.320 and uplift

00:35:36.760 and edify you.

00:35:37.660 I mean,

00:35:37.860 for example,

00:35:38.500 I could do this podcast

00:35:39.360 on my own

00:35:40.040 because I'm capable

00:35:41.400 of doing it.

00:35:42.040 I have the training.

00:35:42.780 I have the skills.

00:35:43.540 I have the education.

00:35:44.540 I have the ability

00:35:45.180 to do it.

00:35:45.680 But that doesn't mean

00:35:46.660 that I shouldn't

00:35:48.200 not bring you

00:35:49.100 into the podcast

00:35:49.860 because you help,

00:35:51.220 you support,

00:35:51.780 you bring something

00:35:52.460 to the equation

00:35:53.140 I wouldn't have my own.

00:35:55.280 But that doesn't mean

00:35:56.460 I'm a helpless dude.

00:35:57.840 Like that doesn't mean

00:35:58.840 that if you were gone,

00:35:59.560 I wouldn't be able

00:36:00.020 to figure this thing out.

00:36:01.140 Just like a couple

00:36:02.260 of months ago,

00:36:02.880 you were gone.

00:36:03.600 You couldn't make it.

00:36:04.180 So my wife filled in

00:36:05.440 and what,

00:36:06.240 a couple of weeks ago,

00:36:06.940 I was gone.

00:36:07.620 You did it.

00:36:08.700 So we haven't given away

00:36:09.940 our sovereignty.

00:36:10.520 We're just supporting each other.

00:36:12.760 Yeah.

00:36:13.180 I hope that distinction

00:36:14.620 is really,

00:36:15.360 really important

00:36:15.860 because here's what

00:36:16.960 a lot of people

00:36:17.500 will talk about

00:36:18.100 is they'll say,

00:36:18.780 well,

00:36:19.080 how do you maintain

00:36:19.720 your sovereignty

00:36:20.320 but believe in God?

00:36:21.740 That's a big one.

00:36:22.540 How do you maintain sovereignty

00:36:26.340 and yet give your life to God?

00:36:28.140 I don't think

00:36:28.980 that they're at odds

00:36:30.080 with each other.

00:36:31.840 I don't,

00:36:32.260 I don't,

00:36:32.960 I really don't.

00:36:34.160 Maybe somebody

00:36:34.940 can explain it to me

00:36:35.780 but I don't understand

00:36:36.820 how somebody

00:36:37.800 can think

00:36:39.100 that we

00:36:39.860 have to give

00:36:41.280 all of our obligation

00:36:42.560 and moral responsibility

00:36:43.900 to succeed in life

00:36:45.620 to a higher power

00:36:46.780 in order to give

00:36:48.160 our life to Him.

00:36:49.320 That seems

00:36:49.820 really strange to me.

00:36:50.880 I can't wrap my head

00:36:51.640 around this concept.

00:36:52.340 That a lot of people believe.

00:36:54.560 That is an interesting thought.

00:36:57.360 I can't,

00:36:58.320 well,

00:36:58.640 yeah,

00:36:59.040 I don't know

00:36:59.500 if you want to rat hole on it

00:37:00.940 but yeah,

00:37:01.320 that is an interesting thought.

00:37:02.760 There's a lot of people

00:37:03.580 that,

00:37:03.920 look,

00:37:04.340 I believe

00:37:05.720 that there's a plan for me.

00:37:07.260 I believe

00:37:07.740 that his,

00:37:08.860 that he knows

00:37:09.620 what he's doing.

00:37:11.000 I don't know

00:37:11.740 what he's doing.

00:37:12.360 I believe he knows

00:37:13.060 what he's doing

00:37:13.640 but I also believe

00:37:14.700 that I have a moral obligation

00:37:16.180 and responsibility

00:37:16.880 to take care of myself.

00:37:19.040 Yeah.

00:37:19.620 To use all the gifts

00:37:20.680 and the abilities

00:37:21.320 and the opportunities

00:37:22.120 that present themselves

00:37:23.280 or he has presented to me

00:37:24.820 to the best of my ability

00:37:26.860 and if I'm not doing that 0.98

00:37:28.160 then I'm slapping him 0.99

00:37:30.480 in the face 1.00

00:37:31.160 if you will.

00:37:32.180 Yeah,

00:37:32.340 I think

00:37:33.020 at the root

00:37:33.880 of why that doesn't make sense

00:37:35.160 to you

00:37:35.520 is I,

00:37:36.080 I would assume

00:37:37.400 that you believe

00:37:38.380 that God expects you

00:37:40.000 to be sovereign.

00:37:42.240 He's,

00:37:42.800 he's given us

00:37:44.020 expectation.

00:37:44.760 Well,

00:37:45.020 and think about it

00:37:45.720 by the very,

00:37:47.080 by the very plan

00:37:48.440 that we're talking about here

00:37:50.080 we have our free agency

00:37:52.340 which means

00:37:53.600 we have sovereignty

00:37:54.340 over ourselves.

00:37:55.600 We are inherently born

00:37:56.640 with sovereignty

00:37:57.340 over ourselves.

00:37:58.460 It's the one thing

00:37:59.380 that can't be taken away.

00:38:01.080 Yeah.

00:38:01.900 Right?

00:38:02.180 We can be imprisoned.

00:38:03.320 We can be stripped

00:38:04.340 of all of our possessions.

00:38:05.800 We can be verbally

00:38:07.600 and physically

00:38:08.460 and mentally

00:38:09.340 and sexually abused 0.98

00:38:10.660 and violated. 0.94

00:38:11.940 This is the whole premise

00:38:12.800 of Viktor Frankl's work

00:38:13.880 and his book

00:38:14.760 Man's Search for Meaning.

00:38:15.940 I mean a man

00:38:16.560 who in a concentration camp

00:38:18.400 was in

00:38:18.860 the most horrific,

00:38:21.480 disgusting,

00:38:22.880 tragic situation 0.71

00:38:24.460 that a human being

00:38:25.960 can ever be thrust into

00:38:27.560 and yet he maintained

00:38:29.100 his dignity

00:38:29.960 because he decided

00:38:31.080 that he was going

00:38:31.900 to respond

00:38:32.700 to this circumstance

00:38:34.420 in a positive manner.

00:38:36.100 This is somebody

00:38:36.840 who even though

00:38:38.100 everything

00:38:38.740 including his family

00:38:39.860 and his way of life

00:38:40.800 and his dignity

00:38:41.940 in a lot of ways

00:38:42.740 was stripped away

00:38:43.740 from him

00:38:44.280 decided to maintain

00:38:45.600 his individual

00:38:46.600 and personal sovereignty.

00:38:48.220 Yeah.

00:38:48.500 That's a powerful,

00:38:49.360 powerful story.

00:38:50.520 And I think

00:38:51.860 at the center

00:38:52.380 of that book

00:38:53.240 is that he,

00:38:54.320 it was him

00:38:55.640 finding purpose

00:38:56.620 or creating purpose

00:38:58.320 in the storm

00:39:00.040 and within his circumstance.

00:39:02.080 Yeah.

00:39:02.600 I mean Goggins

00:39:03.160 talks about this as well

00:39:04.220 since we're on

00:39:04.760 the Goggins kick.

00:39:06.040 It's like how does a man 0.99

00:39:07.300 run hundreds

00:39:10.280 upon hundreds

00:39:11.120 of miles

00:39:11.800 broken

00:39:13.120 and bruised

00:39:14.260 and battered

00:39:15.120 with broken legs

00:39:16.440 and just completely

00:39:17.900 destroyed physically

00:39:19.260 and mentally

00:39:20.120 and emotionally.

00:39:21.020 How does he do that?

00:39:23.200 He attaches,

00:39:24.380 because you talk about this a lot,

00:39:25.360 it's like don't put meaning to it.

00:39:26.720 In this case,

00:39:27.460 I think you would agree

00:39:28.340 we should put meaning to this.

00:39:31.140 We should find meaning

00:39:32.360 in the things

00:39:33.140 that we're engaged with.

00:39:34.540 Just like this podcast.

00:39:35.680 If we were just going

00:39:37.560 through the motions,

00:39:38.280 how miserable would this be?

00:39:39.700 But we have found purpose

00:39:40.760 in having this conversation.

00:39:42.980 We find,

00:39:43.400 you find purpose

00:39:44.220 in jujitsu

00:39:45.480 and doing the Proving Grounds

00:39:46.680 Invitational.

00:39:48.660 Yeah.

00:39:48.800 We find purpose

00:39:49.860 in leading a family

00:39:51.080 and all of those things

00:39:52.700 pose an element

00:39:53.880 of discomfort

00:39:56.000 and misery,

00:39:59.120 I guess you'd say,

00:39:59.780 maybe even a little bit.

00:40:01.020 Yeah.

00:40:01.300 And yet,

00:40:01.780 we're okay with that

00:40:03.160 because we recognize

00:40:04.020 that there's purpose

00:40:04.880 to the suffering.

00:40:06.260 Yeah.

00:40:06.920 Higher meaning.

00:40:08.200 Yes.

00:40:09.440 Yeah.

00:40:10.840 Samuel Ratkin,

00:40:12.200 his question,

00:40:12.920 I think my wife and I

00:40:14.320 of seven years

00:40:15.280 are ready to try

00:40:16.320 to have a kid.

00:40:17.420 Any advice

00:40:18.020 on what questions

00:40:18.720 to ask yourself

00:40:19.720 to determine

00:40:20.420 if you are actually ready?

00:40:22.100 I already know the answer.

00:40:23.000 I know the answer.

00:40:24.140 I know the right answer.

00:40:26.260 Well,

00:40:26.740 I thought he was going to ask

00:40:28.240 like any advice

00:40:29.060 for like having kids.

00:40:30.220 I'm like,

00:40:30.460 well,

00:40:30.580 I think you know

00:40:31.040 how to do it.

00:40:31.800 I think it's pretty straightforward.

00:40:33.400 Just keep practicing,

00:40:34.280 buddy.

00:40:36.340 Well,

00:40:36.740 you're not ready.

00:40:37.400 You'll never be ready.

00:40:39.640 So,

00:40:40.400 what are you going to do?

00:40:42.280 Like,

00:40:42.560 I mean,

00:40:42.880 I guess I would say

00:40:44.460 that make sure

00:40:45.060 you're mentally 0.55

00:40:46.540 and physically

00:40:48.720 and financially

00:40:49.780 mature enough

00:40:50.700 to handle

00:40:51.220 what you're about

00:40:51.820 to get yourself into.

00:40:53.160 That doesn't mean

00:40:53.660 you're ready.

00:40:54.200 Okay,

00:40:54.300 there's a difference.

00:40:54.920 Please understand that.

00:40:55.820 There's a difference

00:40:56.600 between ready

00:40:57.700 and mature enough.

00:40:59.880 Mature enough

00:41:00.480 means that you're capable

00:41:01.720 of handling situations

00:41:02.980 that arise.

00:41:04.240 And let's talk about financially.

00:41:05.700 If you can't make

00:41:06.300 your mortgage payment,

00:41:07.420 probably shouldn't bring

00:41:09.020 a kid into the world

00:41:09.720 because you're not

00:41:10.840 mature enough financially

00:41:12.020 to be able to handle

00:41:13.220 the expense

00:41:13.820 that comes with

00:41:14.320 raising children.

00:41:15.980 If you are

00:41:17.540 uncontrollably angry

00:41:19.160 and you're depressed

00:41:20.280 and maybe even

00:41:21.260 potentially suicidal

00:41:22.300 or you've got some

00:41:23.340 real issues

00:41:24.600 mentally that you need

00:41:25.400 to work through,

00:41:26.140 you're not mature enough

00:41:27.400 to bring a child

00:41:28.180 into the world.

00:41:28.700 And I think

00:41:30.040 that this is a huge,

00:41:31.060 even if your relationship

00:41:32.520 isn't mature enough,

00:41:34.660 this is why I say

00:41:35.580 don't,

00:41:36.560 and people push,

00:41:37.460 men push back

00:41:38.040 on this all the time.

00:41:39.000 Don't have sex 0.98

00:41:39.860 with women 0.98

00:41:40.180 before you're married.

00:41:42.060 You're just

00:41:42.760 not committed enough.

00:41:44.780 You're not,

00:41:45.500 the relationship

00:41:46.240 is not mature enough

00:41:47.940 to potentially bring

00:41:49.500 a child into the world.

00:41:50.840 It's not.

00:41:52.420 And you put yourself

00:41:54.240 and the woman 0.95

00:41:55.120 and the potential child

00:41:56.560 at a disadvantage

00:41:57.380 because you decided

00:41:58.700 to do something

00:41:59.500 that produced a result.

00:42:00.560 We all know what happens

00:42:01.320 when you weren't mature

00:42:02.920 enough to do so.

00:42:05.180 So,

00:42:05.740 ask yourself,

00:42:06.500 am I mature enough

00:42:07.260 to handle this

00:42:07.780 financially,

00:42:08.760 physically,

00:42:09.540 mentally?

00:42:10.040 Is the relationship

00:42:11.040 mature enough

00:42:11.820 that we can get through this

00:42:13.020 because now we're placing

00:42:14.060 this quite literally

00:42:15.580 a wedge between us.

00:42:17.580 Yeah,

00:42:18.160 that relationship

00:42:18.880 survive, right?

00:42:20.120 That baby's not going 0.65

00:42:20.900 to bring you closer together.

00:42:22.720 It may at times,

00:42:24.400 right?

00:42:24.800 At times.

00:42:25.620 And then the other part

00:42:26.480 of the time

00:42:26.940 is going to drive

00:42:27.560 you guys apart.

00:42:28.780 I think you probably,

00:42:30.120 I mean,

00:42:30.320 you're seven years

00:42:30.900 into a relationship.

00:42:31.860 You're asking the question.

00:42:33.200 It's natural

00:42:33.920 to be nervous

00:42:34.540 and skeptical

00:42:35.280 and maybe be hesitant

00:42:36.360 about that.

00:42:37.320 I think if you're asking

00:42:38.100 these type of questions,

00:42:39.200 it's a pretty good sign

00:42:40.380 that you're a mature individual

00:42:41.880 who's trying to take

00:42:42.860 this seriously.

00:42:44.260 Yeah,

00:42:44.860 yeah.

00:42:45.380 But I think the main thing

00:42:46.520 is,

00:42:46.980 yeah,

00:42:47.440 things aren't going

00:42:48.160 to be perfect.

00:42:48.740 You're not going

00:42:49.140 to be ready.

00:42:50.760 If you got those

00:42:51.940 baseline items covered

00:42:52.980 that Ryan's talked about,

00:42:54.100 just do it.

00:42:55.800 it'll be the greatest,

00:42:57.500 the greatest thing

00:42:58.900 and the most difficult

00:43:00.160 thing you ever do

00:43:00.880 in your life.

00:43:01.640 And it'll all be worth it.

00:43:04.540 Agreed.

00:43:05.400 And worst case,

00:43:06.260 just practice

00:43:06.880 and just keep practicing

00:43:07.880 and see what happens.

00:43:09.640 Well,

00:43:09.980 we know what happens.

00:43:12.120 That's what kills me

00:43:13.160 is these people,

00:43:13.960 man,

00:43:14.120 they keep having kids.

00:43:15.200 It's like, 0.83

00:43:15.480 what the hell 0.84

00:43:15.940 are you doing? 1.00

00:43:17.220 Do you not know

00:43:18.420 how this happens?

00:43:19.860 It's not like

00:43:20.740 bringing kids

00:43:21.340 in the world

00:43:21.780 is like this fun,

00:43:23.000 enjoyable experience

00:43:24.200 where everything's blissful

00:43:25.960 and life is just wonderful

00:43:27.900 and it's easy

00:43:29.160 and it makes everything

00:43:30.420 that much better.

00:43:32.500 I don't understand.

00:43:33.620 Rating kids is hard.

00:43:35.800 The act of bringing

00:43:36.880 a child into the world

00:43:38.440 is literally

00:43:39.200 the most painful thing

00:43:40.720 that I think

00:43:41.200 a woman could ever experience. 0.99

00:43:43.340 Like,

00:43:43.920 this is not a fun process.

00:43:46.400 Stop having kids. 0.53

00:43:48.260 If you're not mature enough

00:43:49.480 to do so.

00:43:50.380 And then not only that,

00:43:51.080 it's a huge detriment

00:43:51.840 to society.

00:43:52.980 It's a drain on,

00:43:53.800 I mean,

00:43:54.360 children by their very nature

00:43:55.740 are a,

00:43:56.920 a,

00:43:57.620 a stress,

00:43:59.280 a strain on resources.

00:44:00.740 They're consumers.

00:44:01.900 Period.

00:44:02.860 For a long time.

00:44:04.260 For a very long time.

00:44:05.700 Yeah.

00:44:06.180 So not only

00:44:06.800 do you have to provide

00:44:07.600 for yourself,

00:44:08.200 now you have to

00:44:09.300 produce for this consumer

00:44:11.380 who that's all they do.

00:44:14.420 It's

00:44:14.860 anyways,

00:44:17.500 we might be getting off

00:44:18.400 on a soapbox here,

00:44:19.340 but yeah,

00:44:20.040 it's just

00:44:20.620 mature enough.

00:44:21.580 You need to be mature enough.

00:44:22.460 It sounds like

00:44:23.220 without knowing you,

00:44:24.880 it sounds like

00:44:25.400 because you're asking

00:44:26.260 these questions,

00:44:27.180 you're definitely

00:44:28.220 on the right track.

00:44:29.320 Do it, Sam.

00:44:30.420 What else we got?

00:44:31.420 All right.

00:44:32.060 Nick Frazen.

00:44:33.680 How would you deal

00:44:34.480 with a toxic family member

00:44:35.960 if someone in your

00:44:36.940 immediate family

00:44:38.040 is trying to control you

00:44:39.420 and bring you down?

00:44:40.780 How would you approach

00:44:41.660 and handle the situation?

00:44:42.720 man,

00:44:45.940 I'm just like,

00:44:46.680 maybe I'm just

00:44:47.200 really short today,

00:44:48.480 but don't deal with that.

00:44:51.340 Yeah.

00:44:52.480 What?

00:44:54.340 Okay.

00:44:55.360 So someone in your family 0.92

00:44:56.540 is toxic.

00:44:57.200 Stop engaging with them

00:44:58.900 in a toxic conversation.

00:45:01.240 Like there's conversations

00:45:02.300 that I'm not going to have

00:45:03.260 with my mom

00:45:03.780 or my sister

00:45:04.300 because I'm not interested

00:45:05.940 in going there.

00:45:06.500 I don't need to win them over.

00:45:07.440 They don't need to win me over,

00:45:08.720 but we can have plenty

00:45:09.700 of other conversations

00:45:10.840 that are great,

00:45:13.280 that are wonderful

00:45:13.800 and they edify and uplift

00:45:15.040 all of us,

00:45:16.000 all parties involved.

00:45:17.480 But I'm not going to have

00:45:18.140 conversations

00:45:18.840 that lead to toxicity.

00:45:20.820 If somebody's going to be crazy,

00:45:22.480 I don't care who it is.

00:45:24.180 I'm not bringing it into my life.

00:45:25.400 I don't care if it's my own mom.

00:45:27.100 I'm not bringing it into my life.

00:45:28.620 Let me paint this picture, Ryan.

00:45:30.540 So what if your sister's

00:45:33.660 being toxic

00:45:34.320 and we're not saying she is.

00:45:36.520 So if she's listening,

00:45:37.380 don't take her some.

00:45:38.040 We're just using it

00:45:38.720 as an example.

00:45:40.120 But let's say she's toxic 0.99

00:45:41.360 and he uses this phrase

00:45:44.520 trying to control you

00:45:45.760 and bring you down.

00:45:46.500 So let's say she's.

00:45:47.360 My sister?

00:45:48.000 I mean,

00:45:48.300 how is my sister

00:45:49.180 going to control my life?

00:45:50.960 No,

00:45:51.180 but what if she's running her mouth 1.00

00:45:52.580 and saying bad things about you?

00:45:54.360 Do you just ignore it though?

00:45:55.580 Or do you confront her?

00:45:56.900 It's your sister.

00:45:58.360 Yeah.

00:45:58.700 Like what,

00:45:59.320 what bearing does she have

00:46:02.080 on my life?

00:46:03.440 Yeah.

00:46:04.260 Like this is drama.

00:46:05.900 Like this is.

00:46:06.440 That's getting sucked into it

00:46:07.560 if you take that approach.

00:46:08.380 That's all you're doing.

00:46:09.300 And I don't care if it's.

00:46:10.740 Look,

00:46:11.100 the only exception I would make here

00:46:12.740 to what I'm talking about

00:46:14.140 is if your wife is doing that stuff. 1.00

00:46:16.360 Because that's a direct correlation. 1.00

00:46:18.220 But if your mom's talking shit 1.00

00:46:20.080 or your sister's talking shit 1.00

00:46:21.540 or you have like this cousin who, 1.00

00:46:24.220 that's your fault. 0.54

00:46:27.200 You like the drama

00:46:28.280 just as much as they do.

00:46:29.360 Because if you didn't,

00:46:30.040 you wouldn't be involved.

00:46:31.760 Yeah.

00:46:31.880 Because my cousins

00:46:32.600 and my mom

00:46:33.460 and my sister

00:46:34.160 have no bearing

00:46:35.420 or relevancy

00:46:36.240 in my day-to-day operations

00:46:37.900 of the way that I raise my family,

00:46:39.560 the way that I go about my work.

00:46:41.480 And if somebody's

00:46:42.480 being quote-unquote toxic

00:46:44.540 and it's actually having

00:46:46.480 a bearing on my life,

00:46:48.740 you got problems.

00:46:50.480 You're allowing it.

00:46:51.600 Yeah.

00:46:51.800 You're allowing it.

00:46:53.440 It's just like people say,

00:46:54.760 oh, 0.99

00:46:55.040 my competitor's talking crap about me. 0.99

00:46:57.020 Yeah. 0.97

00:46:57.380 And who?

00:46:58.540 Who is it?

00:46:59.500 How does that impact you?

00:47:01.840 Totally.

00:47:02.000 Just handle your business.

00:47:03.900 And all that stuff

00:47:04.520 seems less relevant.

00:47:06.040 Yeah.

00:47:06.300 And I think there's a positive,

00:47:09.320 there's a higher road, right?

00:47:12.340 If we look at those scenarios

00:47:13.380 on how to deal with

00:47:15.040 those things that might come up.

00:47:18.240 It's not even a higher road.

00:47:19.580 It's just,

00:47:19.820 I'm not even going to go down that road.

00:47:21.620 But that's what I mean.

00:47:22.540 Like that is the higher road, right?

00:47:24.180 I've actually had a client,

00:47:26.020 believe it or not,

00:47:26.560 if a couple months ago

00:47:27.400 says we came in

00:47:29.000 and they said,

00:47:30.520 oh,

00:47:30.720 well,

00:47:30.860 your competitors said this,

00:47:32.040 what do you have to say about them?

00:47:34.040 They said that to me.

00:47:35.040 And I was like,

00:47:35.840 that's not how we do business.

00:47:38.320 I'm not going to sit here.

00:47:39.400 I'm not going to sit here

00:47:40.320 and be bad mouthing another company.

00:47:42.460 Right.

00:47:43.040 You know,

00:47:43.340 like we are,

00:47:44.900 the results in which we have

00:47:46.260 where their client speaks for themselves.

00:47:48.620 Simple.

00:47:49.260 I don't care what our competition does.

00:47:51.640 You know?

00:47:51.780 Right.

00:47:52.280 It's crazy.

00:47:53.120 It is crazy,

00:47:54.000 but people love the drama, man.

00:47:55.760 Yeah.

00:47:56.280 Your client,

00:47:57.180 they want to get you guys fighting over them.

00:48:00.080 Right?

00:48:00.560 Totally.

00:48:01.140 It's like,

00:48:01.560 nah,

00:48:01.840 not my game.

00:48:02.760 Yeah.

00:48:03.020 And you just live a better life for it.

00:48:05.340 You have more,

00:48:06.300 look,

00:48:06.780 even with a client situation,

00:48:08.240 if a client's like that,

00:48:09.260 you really want to work with a guy like that?

00:48:11.100 Totally.

00:48:11.820 Totally.

00:48:12.420 Yeah.

00:48:12.800 I mean,

00:48:13.140 you get,

00:48:14.240 and a lot of people don't realize this

00:48:15.560 in the world of,

00:48:16.540 at least in my opinion,

00:48:17.540 in the world of business,

00:48:18.360 like that,

00:48:19.560 it's a relationship

00:48:20.520 when you work with a client.

00:48:22.340 So not every client's built for you either.

00:48:24.940 Yes.

00:48:25.420 Right?

00:48:25.740 It's two ways.

00:48:26.620 We have,

00:48:27.000 yeah,

00:48:27.180 we have this tendency to say,

00:48:28.280 oh,

00:48:28.500 well,

00:48:28.720 we have to please,

00:48:29.400 no,

00:48:30.040 no.

00:48:30.680 Sometimes they're not a good fit for us.

00:48:32.460 Right.

00:48:32.860 So,

00:48:33.320 yeah,

00:48:33.820 totally.

00:48:34.540 Yeah.

00:48:34.780 I don't get this whole,

00:48:35.920 like my family member's toxic.

00:48:37.340 So stop dealing with your family member.

00:48:39.720 So just,

00:48:40.380 so let's give,

00:48:41.180 let's give Sam some,

00:48:43.060 uh,

00:48:43.520 no,

00:48:43.740 it wasn't Sam.

00:48:44.580 Let's give Nick some practical,

00:48:45.880 like you're,

00:48:46.640 from your perspective,

00:48:47.400 you're like,

00:48:47.840 Hey,

00:48:48.500 don't engage.

00:48:49.600 Like,

00:48:49.820 don't even,

00:48:50.520 I'll give you,

00:48:50.660 I'll give you like an example.

00:48:51.780 Let's say,

00:48:52.320 and I'm just making stuff up here.

00:48:54.060 So let's just take,

00:48:55.500 let's take my mom, 1.00

00:48:56.680 for example,

00:48:57.540 let's do,

00:48:57.920 and she's not doing this,

00:48:58.860 but let's just assume for the sake of argument that she was getting involved in my relationship.

00:49:03.900 Uh,

00:49:04.300 she was calling my wife directly and trying to tell her how the relationship should go or tell me how the relationship should go severed, done, not our relationship, but I won't tolerate that.

00:49:15.240 And I would just come to her and I would say,

00:49:17.520 Hey,

00:49:18.100 the relationship that you and I have is this fits in this box.

00:49:23.660 We don't step out of that.

00:49:25.840 So if you continue to step out of that box,

00:49:28.300 then the box gets smaller.

00:49:31.660 So here's the line.

00:49:33.960 Here's the boundary that you will not cross.

00:49:37.860 And if you cross it,

00:49:38.980 there are consequences.

00:49:40.200 And the consequences means the relationship contracts.

00:49:43.220 So you will not call my wife.

00:49:46.200 You will not text her.

00:49:47.580 And you and I will not have conversations about the way I conduct my family business or my marriage.

00:49:53.340 Can we agree to that?

00:49:54.840 Yes,

00:49:55.220 we can agree to that.

00:49:55.920 Good.

00:49:56.260 Now she steps over that line again.

00:49:57.900 The box gets smaller.

00:49:59.000 Hey,

00:49:59.460 you and I agreed that we wouldn't have these conversations.

00:50:02.160 So unfortunately,

00:50:03.200 we're just going to have to cut off communication.

00:50:05.820 Oh,

00:50:05.980 but Ryan,

00:50:06.460 you're being so harsh.

00:50:07.500 It wasn't my decision.

00:50:08.580 I had a conversation with my mom and I told her the expectations.

00:50:13.780 She made the decision to change the dynamic of the relationship.

00:50:17.940 Not me.

00:50:19.420 She made that decision.

00:50:21.300 Guys,

00:50:22.020 don't get sucked into the drama.

00:50:24.040 I don't care who it is.

00:50:26.280 If you're continually,

00:50:27.680 here's the deal.

00:50:28.640 If you continually see drama and toxicity in your relationship,

00:50:33.120 you are the toxic individual.

00:50:34.920 You have allowed it to happen and you are perpetuating the problem because you enjoy it to some degree.

00:50:42.040 Because if you didn't,

00:50:42.980 you would be repulsed by it and you would do everything you could to carve it out of your life.

00:50:48.900 Don't be part of the problem.

00:50:50.900 Be the solution.

00:50:53.980 Mic drop.

00:50:55.220 Boom.

00:50:55.940 Boom.

00:50:56.760 Done.

00:50:56.980 Take a couple more and then we'll get you out of here,

00:50:58.760 Kip.

00:50:58.980 All right.

00:50:59.520 Rob Thomas,

00:51:00.960 legs go before lungs.

00:51:02.280 What would you recommend to improve leg stanima?

00:51:04.920 Exercising them.

00:51:08.840 Next question.

00:51:10.280 No,

00:51:10.460 really like.

00:51:11.360 Yeah.

00:51:11.920 Run more.

00:51:12.980 Do more squats.

00:51:13.820 Do more deadlifts.

00:51:14.760 Do more leg presses.

00:51:15.800 Do more curls or whatever.

00:51:17.580 Just work them more.

00:51:19.740 And I think it's key to what you're doing,

00:51:21.520 right?

00:51:21.900 Like what,

00:51:22.740 what kind of stanima are you trying to get with your legs,

00:51:25.020 right?

00:51:25.320 Is it biking?

00:51:26.120 Is it running?

00:51:27.320 You know what I mean?

00:51:27.660 You got to practice a lot of the time.

00:51:29.300 You got to practice what you're trying to increase your stanima.

00:51:31.700 Yeah.

00:51:32.280 We want to be very careful of overthinking situations.

00:51:35.580 I've noticed that as a reoccurring theme in the questions that we're having here is

00:51:41.780 people are overthinking things.

00:51:44.340 How do I get better at speaking in public?

00:51:46.740 Speak more in public.

00:51:48.380 How do I build strength in my legs?

00:51:51.200 You exercise them.

00:51:52.580 You work them.

00:51:53.460 Yeah.

00:51:53.640 Put them under load.

00:51:55.020 Well,

00:51:55.200 and I think it's because people don't want to like this speaking in public scenario.

00:51:59.740 People don't want to hear that,

00:52:01.320 right?

00:52:01.660 Like they would rather have you say,

00:52:03.700 Ryan,

00:52:03.960 I think.

00:52:05.340 Yeah.

00:52:06.580 Read this book or do this thing in front of the mirror.

00:52:10.360 You know what I mean?

00:52:11.060 So many times a day.

00:52:12.820 And then next time you do public speaking,

00:52:14.540 it'll be easier.

00:52:15.820 Right.

00:52:15.980 In reality,

00:52:16.460 a lot of the guys,

00:52:17.080 we talk about this all the time.

00:52:18.220 It's like,

00:52:18.640 there's certain things you're not going to learn unless you actually do it.

00:52:22.800 Yep. 1.00

00:52:23.400 And unfortunately you might look like an ass. 1.00

00:52:25.460 It might be embarrassing and that's just the way it goes. 1.00

00:52:28.940 Right.

00:52:29.280 And that might be where the learning is.

00:52:31.040 And I think a lot of time we don't want to hear that.

00:52:34.060 I think you're right.

00:52:34.940 In the Facebook group,

00:52:35.940 we see this a lot is guys ask questions and they're like,

00:52:38.600 Hey,

00:52:38.760 what would you do in this like really weird,

00:52:40.580 strange situation?

00:52:41.720 And everybody's quick to jump on.

00:52:43.060 Oh,

00:52:43.160 do this,

00:52:43.460 do this,

00:52:43.720 do this.

00:52:44.180 Most of the time I just say,

00:52:45.100 well,

00:52:45.500 what do you think you should do?

00:52:48.120 And they come back and they're like,

00:52:49.100 well,

00:52:49.180 I think I should do this.

00:52:50.260 Good.

00:52:50.500 Do that.

00:52:50.840 Yeah.

00:52:51.260 Try that.

00:52:51.640 Well,

00:52:52.120 I was really looking.

00:52:52.960 No,

00:52:53.480 stop.

00:52:54.580 You already know.

00:52:56.160 Go do it.

00:52:57.920 Please just go do it.

00:53:00.040 Like if there's one thing that I wish I could see more in not only the members of order of man and the iron council and just this movement in general is that we would stop looking for excuses.

00:53:10.800 We'd stop overanalyzing.

00:53:12.780 We'd stop researching. 0.98

00:53:14.460 We'd stop reading so many damn books and having so many damn conversations and, 0.98

00:53:18.920 and asking for so much insight and just go do things. 1.00

00:53:25.040 Have a conversation with your wife.

00:53:27.260 Take your daughter on a date. 0.99

00:53:28.860 Take your boys out camping.

00:53:30.740 Ask for the promotion.

00:53:32.360 Go to college and finish up your career.

00:53:34.440 Go speak in public.

00:53:36.220 Go run a marathon.

00:53:37.740 Go do something and learn from the experience rather than trying to live vicariously through

00:53:43.520 what everybody else thinks it is you should be doing.

00:53:46.600 Go experience.

00:53:48.960 Now,

00:53:49.420 once you've experienced,

00:53:51.340 like let's say,

00:53:52.400 oh,

00:53:52.660 how do I train for a marathon?

00:53:54.360 You just run a lot.

00:53:57.500 That's how you train for a marathon.

00:53:59.300 And then you go do the marathon.

00:54:00.960 Now,

00:54:01.400 I think you kind of earned the right to come back and critique yourself and ask for feedback.

00:54:05.740 You're like,

00:54:05.880 hey guys,

00:54:06.660 I experienced shin splints or I,

00:54:08.240 you know,

00:54:08.440 I dealt with this at mile 15 and here's what I did.

00:54:11.400 Any,

00:54:11.840 anybody else run a marathon that could help me through that?

00:54:14.260 You don't even know what the problem is because you haven't been through it.

00:54:17.980 How do you even know what questions to ask?

00:54:20.520 Go experience.

00:54:22.020 The greater risk is that you sit back and you wait for everybody else to figure out your problems.

00:54:27.260 It's not that you're going to go do it and fail.

00:54:29.680 That's not the greater risk.

00:54:30.820 The greater risk is you don't do it at all because you're worried about what everybody else has to say.

00:54:34.760 Even,

00:54:35.220 even you and me,

00:54:35.960 Kip,

00:54:36.160 stop listening to us,

00:54:37.420 please.

00:54:38.100 And just go experience life.

00:54:40.420 And hopefully we can maybe get you pointed in the right direction.

00:54:44.120 Occasionally.

00:54:45.060 I love it.

00:54:46.080 Two more questions really quick.

00:54:47.540 Yeah.

00:54:47.740 No,

00:54:47.940 that's fine.

00:54:48.260 If you're good,

00:54:48.620 I'm good with time.

00:54:49.520 So yeah,

00:54:49.740 let's do these two and then we'll wrap up.

00:54:52.140 Craig Perkins,

00:54:52.920 what is your biggest concern and worry about regarding your move to Maine?

00:54:57.680 I don't have a concern.

00:55:00.200 Done.

00:55:01.280 I mean,

00:55:01.860 like worst case scenario,

00:55:03.540 we don't enjoy it and we move back home.

00:55:07.140 I'm,

00:55:07.760 I,

00:55:08.520 a lot of people ask me like,

00:55:09.540 Oh,

00:55:09.700 why,

00:55:09.960 why are you moving to Maine?

00:55:10.720 I'm like,

00:55:10.960 I have no logical reason.

00:55:12.060 I have no,

00:55:13.160 you know,

00:55:13.900 the,

00:55:14.100 the worst case scenarios will be out some money and some time in exchange for an experience.

00:55:20.280 And then we just moved back home.

00:55:22.060 So experience be great.

00:55:23.740 Even if you move back,

00:55:24.780 you'll be great.

00:55:25.200 Cause you're like,

00:55:25.760 man,

00:55:26.280 that was cool.

00:55:27.240 I love home.

00:55:28.120 Yeah.

00:55:28.420 I will say that in all fairness,

00:55:30.120 though,

00:55:30.440 the cold is a little scary to me.

00:55:32.160 But it'll be fine.

00:55:34.340 It'll be fine.

00:55:35.320 It'll be fine.

00:55:36.240 That's,

00:55:36.560 that's the thing.

00:55:37.040 It'll be fine.

00:55:38.140 You're not going to die.

00:55:39.340 It'll be better than fine.

00:55:40.360 It'll be great.

00:55:41.100 It'll be wonderful.

00:55:41.960 It'll be a grand adventure.

00:55:43.620 Grand adventure.

00:55:44.560 Brett Moore,

00:55:45.520 his question from,

00:55:46.960 I come from a family of boys and I've had the first,

00:55:50.040 I've been the first one to have a daughter in two generations.

00:55:52.940 Having a daughter is foreign to me.

00:55:54.720 What are the top three things you know about raising girls?

00:56:01.380 It's the same thing,

00:56:02.560 right?

00:56:02.800 Your job is to render yourself obsolete.

00:56:04.940 How's your,

00:56:05.480 how old is your girl?

00:56:06.680 She's five.

00:56:07.880 She's five.

00:56:08.580 Okay.

00:56:09.480 So I got a seven and a five.

00:56:11.440 Yeah.

00:56:11.840 I mean,

00:56:12.560 you,

00:56:13.260 maybe,

00:56:13.540 you know,

00:56:13.720 more than me.

00:56:14.240 I,

00:56:14.520 I just,

00:56:15.500 they're different.

00:56:16.580 They're a hundred percent different.

00:56:18.220 I,

00:56:18.760 I had two bulls.

00:56:19.580 I had three boys before the girls came along and I thought,

00:56:23.040 Oh no,

00:56:24.400 we're going to have a girl and I'm not going to enjoy it. 1.00

00:56:26.680 I was really concerned about it because I,

00:56:29.180 I knew boys.

00:56:30.100 I,

00:56:30.260 I,

00:56:30.820 you know,

00:56:31.140 I rough house with them.

00:56:32.240 I can play with them or whatever.

00:56:33.400 And I thought it would not be fun.

00:56:35.620 Have it a girl, 0.99

00:56:36.520 but it's been complete opposite.

00:56:38.800 I,

00:56:39.460 I love it.

00:56:40.860 Like the girls are great.

00:56:42.640 They're more sensitive.

00:56:44.080 We know this.

00:56:45.100 These are all the things that we already know,

00:56:46.840 right?

00:56:47.040 They're going to be more sensitive.

00:56:48.680 They're not a stern.

00:56:50.000 They require a little bit more sensitivity and how you speak to them.

00:56:55.340 Like I remember when Kika was littler, 1.00

00:56:58.600 I'd go,

00:56:59.240 Hey,

00:56:59.420 go clean your room.

00:57:00.140 Like kind of yell a little bit.

00:57:01.520 And she would just break down and like melt,

00:57:04.680 you know,

00:57:05.140 I'm like,

00:57:05.560 Oh my gosh.

00:57:06.300 Like,

00:57:07.220 you know,

00:57:07.500 I at the,

00:57:08.320 not just not yell at,

00:57:10.320 I can't even talk too loud.

00:57:11.620 Right.

00:57:11.960 If I talk too loud,

00:57:13.060 she got like all sensitive about it and everything.

00:57:15.300 So,

00:57:16.140 um,

00:57:16.760 it's different.

00:57:17.620 It's different,

00:57:18.200 but it's so the difference is awesome.

00:57:20.780 It's just so great.

00:57:21.820 And so it's a whole different world.

00:57:23.340 I love it.

00:57:24.300 Yeah.

00:57:25.100 I think at the end of the day,

00:57:26.360 your job is to model the type of man she'll eventually choose to be with. 0.99

00:57:29.840 Totally.

00:57:30.720 So be kind,

00:57:32.660 be compassionate,

00:57:34.220 understand and empathetic,

00:57:35.960 understand that she's probably going to be generally speaking more sensitive than your boys are.

00:57:41.940 Um,

00:57:42.380 you're probably not going to be as,

00:57:43.880 as hard or rough with her.

00:57:46.320 Just like you wouldn't want somebody to be hard or rough with your daughter when she decides to go out and accept somebody's hand in marriage.

00:57:53.560 Right.

00:57:54.100 Yeah.

00:57:54.820 Um,

00:57:55.560 yeah,

00:57:56.860 but also you got to be tough,

00:57:58.420 right?

00:57:58.600 You got to have discipline.

00:57:59.520 You got to help her be self-reliant.

00:58:01.540 One of the things that you talked about is,

00:58:03.040 is,

00:58:03.960 uh,

00:58:04.400 martial arts for women and,

00:58:05.860 and letting them be capable of handling themselves and taking care of themselves.

00:58:11.080 And we figured these things out.

00:58:14.040 We figure them out.

00:58:15.360 Totally.

00:58:15.880 My,

00:58:16.600 so I've,

00:58:17.440 I've,

00:58:17.820 we're reading the,

00:58:19.160 we've read both warrior kid books from Jocko.

00:58:22.100 We're,

00:58:22.520 we're almost,

00:58:23.220 we're chapter 20 of the second book.

00:58:25.720 Dude,

00:58:26.240 I cannot tell you how much my daughters are eating that book up. 1.00

00:58:32.140 They are obsessed with warrior kids and the conversation,

00:58:37.160 man,

00:58:37.700 I just,

00:58:38.640 I was thinking about it last night.

00:58:40.020 I thought Jocko,

00:58:40.820 thank you,

00:58:41.260 man.

00:58:41.980 Cause like my daughter,

00:58:43.760 she,

00:58:44.100 like,

00:58:44.520 she's jumping ahead.

00:58:45.320 You know what?

00:58:45.680 I think what's going to happen.

00:58:46.660 I bet Mark is going to not buy his new bike and he's going to give his money to Nathan.

00:58:50.420 So he can go to Jiu Jitsu class.

00:58:51.880 Like she's already like kind of like all excited and she's like working through it.

00:58:55.920 And I'm like,

00:58:56.580 this is perfect.

00:58:57.200 And then my five-year-old's like,

00:58:59.180 you know what I would do?

00:59:00.460 And she starts telling me what she would do since she's a warrior kid.

00:59:03.260 You know,

00:59:03.540 I'm just like,

00:59:04.180 this is spot on,

00:59:05.360 man.

00:59:05.540 I love it.

00:59:06.040 Spot on.

00:59:07.000 Yeah.

00:59:07.660 Very cool.

00:59:08.460 Sorry.

00:59:08.840 Shout out to Jocko.

00:59:09.960 No,

00:59:10.160 it's good.

00:59:10.660 I kind of feel like the theme of this asked me anything was like,

00:59:13.560 I don't know,

00:59:14.000 just go figure it out.

00:59:15.280 Take action.

00:59:19.040 Sometimes that's the answer though,

00:59:20.520 man.

00:59:21.160 It's like,

00:59:22.400 just go do it.

00:59:23.340 Just go do it.

00:59:24.180 We have all the skills and the abilities and the,

00:59:26.420 and the ability to learn and expand ourselves.

00:59:28.700 So get out there and,

00:59:29.700 and go do it.

00:59:30.980 Learn from it.

00:59:32.200 Yeah.

00:59:33.260 It's funny.

00:59:34.240 We'll wrap up,

00:59:35.140 but I,

00:59:35.840 I meant to say this.

00:59:37.680 So when I did that episode by myself a couple of weeks ago,

00:59:40.680 yeah,

00:59:41.240 it was so good by the way,

00:59:42.720 because I'm getting ready to wrap up.

00:59:45.280 And I said,

00:59:47.640 and then immediately came to my mind,

00:59:49.420 take action and be the man.

00:59:50.720 You're,

00:59:50.940 I was like,

00:59:51.500 that's really funny.

00:59:52.660 Like I've been so degraded and even across my mind,

00:59:56.580 that is what I needed to say when we wrapped up.

00:59:59.000 So you're being,

00:59:59.720 you're being conditioned to believe this stuff.

01:00:02.340 Yeah.

01:00:02.660 You're brainwashing me.

01:00:03.660 Right.

01:00:03.920 It's right.

01:00:04.440 That's absolutely what's happening.

01:00:07.000 Well,

01:00:07.440 cool.

01:00:07.700 Well,

01:00:07.820 let's call it a day.

01:00:08.580 Um,

01:00:09.100 we got through quite a few questions.

01:00:10.560 There's probably more left over,

01:00:11.980 but we'll,

01:00:12.260 we'll keep going.

01:00:12.980 And,

01:00:13.360 uh,

01:00:13.620 maybe I'll be in a better mood next time where I actually give like real

01:00:16.600 answers rather than just go figure it out.

01:00:18.800 Go do it.

01:00:19.400 Go figure it out.

01:00:19.940 Stop asking me questions.

01:00:21.080 Just go do it. 0.99

01:00:22.140 Go with some balls. 1.00

01:00:23.620 That's right. 0.97

01:00:24.860 All right.

01:00:26.040 Wrap us up,

01:00:26.640 man.

01:00:26.780 Take us home.

01:00:27.940 Yeah.

01:00:28.380 So guys,

01:00:29.000 I mean,

01:00:29.320 we,

01:00:29.580 we do have quite a bit of questions probably next.

01:00:32.160 We,

01:00:32.660 we do have enough for next week.

01:00:34.460 However,

01:00:34.900 in the coming episodes,

01:00:36.900 if you want to contribute to the AMA and get your questions answered,

01:00:41.600 you can do it one of three ways.

01:00:43.380 Uh,

01:00:43.660 join us on Patreon at patreon.com forward slash order of man,

01:00:47.800 or on the Facebook group,

01:00:49.620 which is facebook.com slash group slash order of man,

01:00:52.820 or join the iron council,

01:00:54.520 which is our exclusive brotherhood and mastermind where we take these

01:00:59.160 conversations that we have on this podcast.

01:01:01.360 We,

01:01:01.940 we have the conversations and the challenges.

01:01:04.880 from different books that we're reading and topics that we have during the

01:01:07.780 month.

01:01:08.060 And we meet with different,

01:01:09.340 we meet as a team on a regular basis and think of it as,

01:01:14.140 instead of being a spectator in the game of basketball,

01:01:16.300 we're actually on the court and you're dealing with like-minded men and

01:01:20.400 working through your battle plans,

01:01:22.500 your goals and other objectives that you have in your life.

01:01:25.800 You can learn more about the iron council at order of man.com slash iron

01:01:30.060 council.

01:01:30.480 You can connect with Mr.

01:01:32.700 Mickler at Ryan Mickler on Insta.

01:01:36.280 And then Twitter is now at Ryan Mickler as well.

01:01:38.900 Yeah.

01:01:39.040 Doing a lot more over there.

01:01:40.220 Yeah.

01:01:40.340 Okay.

01:01:40.940 All right.

01:01:41.260 So follow him on his personal accounts,

01:01:43.080 um,

01:01:43.960 more than the at order of man ones.

01:01:46.320 That's right.

01:01:48.120 Yeah,

01:01:48.560 I think that's good.

01:01:49.500 Um,

01:01:49.780 the only other thing I would add is make sure you check out our legacy event.

01:01:54.020 This is a father son event happening April 11th through the 14th,

01:01:58.140 2019.

01:01:59.020 It's designed for fathers or father figures and their boys between the ages of

01:02:04.280 eight to 15.

01:02:05.240 We just implemented some new activities and some new,

01:02:08.900 uh,

01:02:09.240 some new goals and programs in the,

01:02:11.680 in the event itself.

01:02:12.680 It's absolutely unbelievable.

01:02:14.400 It'll be life changing for you and your boys.

01:02:16.100 So again,

01:02:17.000 April 11th through the 14th,

01:02:18.460 2019 order of man.com slash legacy.

01:02:21.580 We actually have the video from our last event on that page,

01:02:25.320 order of man.com slash legacy.

01:02:26.660 So you can see a little bit about what it is we're doing and what we're

01:02:30.700 blowing up and the conversations we're having and everything else.

01:02:33.540 It's a good time.

01:02:34.560 It's a good time.

01:02:35.580 Did I tell you my son got in trouble?

01:02:38.160 Yeah.

01:02:38.360 We talked about it last week,

01:02:40.000 but did we talk about why?

01:02:41.780 Yeah.

01:02:42.140 Because he,

01:02:42.960 uh,

01:02:43.260 to make the,

01:02:44.160 um,

01:02:44.600 the Tannerite more explosive.

01:02:46.720 Yeah,

01:02:46.880 that's right.

01:02:47.260 He learned that at legacy events.

01:02:48.760 So we'll be sure to teach your sons as well.

01:02:50.400 Just make sure they don't do reports on it afterwards.

01:02:53.000 Uh,

01:02:53.360 tribe builder course.

01:02:54.340 Did you end up,

01:02:55.320 did we end up filling those two to three spots?

01:02:57.020 Um,

01:02:57.540 I think,

01:02:58.240 uh,

01:02:58.500 no,

01:02:58.700 I opened a few more spots.

01:02:59.920 So if you are interested in tribe builder,

01:03:01.880 building a movement and an organization,

01:03:03.180 like we've done here with order of man,

01:03:05.020 uh,

01:03:05.720 you can go to order of man.com slash tribe builder that starts on February 1st.

01:03:10.720 So you've got what?

01:03:12.260 Four or five,

01:03:13.360 maybe,

01:03:13.800 well,

01:03:13.960 I guess like set seven days or something left.

01:03:16.040 So make sure you get on that pretty quickly here.

01:03:17.960 Cool.

01:03:19.140 That's it.

01:03:19.600 All right,

01:03:20.380 sir.

01:03:21.120 Okay,

01:03:21.480 guys.

01:03:21.860 Appreciate you guys.

01:03:22.700 Glad to be on this journey with you.

01:03:24.060 Um,

01:03:24.260 thanks for asking the questions,

01:03:25.320 supporting what it is we're doing.

01:03:26.600 Thanks for the rating reviews,

01:03:27.640 everything that you're doing to support the movement.

01:03:29.240 Appreciate you.

01:03:29.820 Go listen to obviously this one,

01:03:31.660 go listen to the Friday field notes.

01:03:33.280 Uh,

01:03:33.640 this week I've got a really good one and it's titled an attack on masculinity

01:03:38.160 question mark.

01:03:39.560 So I addressed that a little bit.

01:03:41.240 And then is there an attack?

01:03:42.580 That's right.

01:03:43.440 Go listen to David Goggins as well.

01:03:45.760 All right,

01:03:46.040 guys,

01:03:46.340 get out there,

01:03:47.100 go out,

01:03:47.520 take action,

01:03:47.980 become the man you are meant to be.

01:03:49.820 Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast.

01:03:52.700 You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be.

01:03:56.760 We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.

01:03:59.860 Yeah.

01:04:00.280 Yeah.

01:04:00.820 Yeah.

01:04:00.960 Yeah.

01:04:11.300 Yeah.

01:04:11.580 Yeah.

01:04:11.620 Yeah.

5 Skills to Teach Young Men, Man's Search for Meaning, and Reclaiming Your Sovereignty ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

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