On this episode of the Ask Me Anything Podcast, we are joined by long time friend and former co-host of the show, Kip, to discuss UFC 246, UFC 246 and UFC 246. We also talk about the Dillashaw vs. Cejudo fight, the upcoming UFC Fight Night event, and much more!
00:01:44.980Yeah. Well, I know I was talking with his fiance and him, and he said that. He's like, all right, man, I got to go work out when we were done.
00:01:51.120So he went and worked out after we were done with the podcast.
00:01:53.680And working out to him is a little different, a lot different than what we would consider a workout.
00:01:59.000You know, we consider a workout, going to the gym for 45 minutes, and actually half of the 45 minutes is spent dinking around, checking Facebook, or moving between weights or whatever else.
00:02:09.340And this guy is insane. Absolutely insane.
00:02:12.560Yeah. I'm sure. Just like a balls out. I'll see you in five hours.
00:02:28.280Sponsored the middleweight division. It was awesome. It was great.
00:02:32.240It was, think of it as like an, think of it as UFC fight card, but it's all jujitsu and grappling instead.
00:02:40.880So we have guys that match up fighters, align them. We have a card. We have an MC. You know what I mean?
00:02:48.420And we, and we worked through the brackets as part of the event. It was in this old restored church, downtown Salt Lake called Church and State. And it was, it was cool.
00:02:58.260It was cool. It looked cool, man. I was excited that you were able to do that and get that done. Speaking of UFC, did you see the fights?
00:03:23.260He may have been able to recover or he may not have. It could have gone either way. And it was to me, like from my perspective, and I'm not an expert. You're more so than I am.
00:03:33.720From my perspective, you could make a case or an argument for either way, either stopping it or they stopped it too early.
00:03:43.560Yeah. I mean, he did look like he got zinged a couple of times.
00:03:46.440Oh, yeah. Especially in the replays. Yeah. He looked like he got.
00:03:49.780Yeah. He was getting, he was getting hurt a little bit. So it's just on these title fights, you know, you almost want to give him the benefit of the doubt and just kind of take, let them take a little bit more damage than normal, just in case.
00:04:00.960Yeah. It was interesting because I heard one of the announcers or commentators, I guess you'd say, he said, he said something really interesting. He said, sometimes you've got to save these fighters from themselves.
00:04:13.040Because if you take a guy like Dillashaw at the highest possible level he could be fighting at and others as well is they will sacrifice themselves, their health for a title or for that fight. And so I could definitely see how that is applicable for sure.
00:04:32.560Yeah. Fighter mentality, man. These guys are crazy. I've trained with some guys that they would almost die if you didn't throw a talent, you know, so I've seen it. We saw it this weekend at that PGI tournament.
00:05:10.460So it's just a different world. And I guess there's probably things that, that maybe we would fight to that level for as well.
00:05:16.720It's just, it's just a different priority. It's really fascinating.
00:05:19.620And to your point, look at Goggins, man. You read that book and it's like, this guy is, there's some crazy in there, right?
00:05:26.460Like I'm unprepared. I'm going to run this, this crazy race. I'm going to do my first Ironman in Kona.
00:05:33.420Like, and you don't think he's hurting, like hurting and destroying his body. He certainly is.
00:05:41.860And he knows it. And he knows it. And when you listen to the rest of that podcast, you'll hear, he knows it. He talks about, maybe, maybe you heard it already, but he started talking about some of that.
00:05:51.600Yeah. How, how he said, you know, I paid the man and I would gladly do it all over again. I mean, he broke himself down and he knows it. And he's still, he's still suffering the consequences physically of some of the, the, the hell that he put himself through.
00:06:07.920Yeah. Well, let's get into it, man. Shall we?
00:06:11.200Yeah. Yeah. So we, we covered, um, Patreon and Iron Council questions last week.
00:06:17.620Yeah. Uh, we, you guys certainly stepped up to the game and gave us a lot, a whole lot of questions. We got through those last week and now we're down to the Facebook group. So that's where these questions are coming from.
00:06:31.760All right. John call. I've had a stepdaughter for about two years now, but my wife and I just had our first son together. Any advice for a first time dad of a newborn? Congrats to Kip and his wife on their recent birth. Also, thanks for all that you guys do.
00:06:48.060Uh, hope you guys had a great holiday. Happy new year.
00:06:51.740I mean, the advice that I have is all the advice you hear, right? Like, like take care of her, make sure you're doing this stuff for you still. Um, just, just roll with it as best you can. This is temporary. It's going to be tough for a little while. You hear all that stuff.
00:07:07.580Seasons. Right. So the advice that I would give you something different than maybe you've heard in the past is just remember from this point on.
00:07:15.540And it was before, cause you have a stepdaughter. I believe he said that you, your job now as a father is to render yourself obsolete.
00:07:25.100That is your primary responsibility. Your primary responsibility is to put yourself out of a job.
00:07:29.440So when you're approached with a situation or just interaction on a daily basis with your daughter and your son, just remember that everything that you do should be designed to put yourself out of work.
00:07:44.500So how can you teach now? A newborn is a little different, right? There's, you can't teach a newborn how to be self-reliant, right? But just keep that in mind because you've heard all the other stuff. You know what it is. Just roll with it. Do what you know you should be doing.
00:07:59.120But just keep in mind as an overarching principle that your job as a father is to put yourself out of work and it's awkward and it's uncomfortable and it's not always fun.
00:08:09.680And you're going to need to have some serious conversations and do some things as far as discipline and structure and guidance that isn't always easy or enjoyable or pleasurable, but that is your job and that is your focus.
00:08:22.200And I think if more parents, both fathers and mothers recognize that their job is to become obsolete, the world would be a completely different place.
00:08:33.880Because I think what happens as fathers and mothers is we take the path of least resistance and the path of least resistance is to make our children, quote unquote, happy, right?
00:08:42.840If we can make them happy and we're conditioned that way because what do babies do? They cry.
00:08:46.420So we give them what they want until they stop crying. That behavior, it doesn't change down the road or at least the underlying principle of the behavior.
00:09:16.920Eric Collum, helping a spouse deal with postpartum and the stress of a newborn while still stretching thin at her own career.
00:09:26.180I don't know. If somebody else has this figured out, then they're better off than just about 99% of us.
00:09:33.560Give her space. Sounds like you recognize and understand what's going on.
00:09:37.600My wife dealt with this. It was very, very difficult, especially for our first baby.
00:09:41.780She recognized it for our subsequent three and that was good.
00:09:46.880But have a plan. Keep the lines of communication open.
00:09:49.700She recognizes it. So I would keep those lines of communication open, talking with her, figuring out, okay, when this happens or you're feeling down, how is it that I can help?
00:09:58.880Does it help for me to take the baby? Does it help for me to leave you alone? Does it help for me to support around the house?
00:10:05.660Figure out what support and help looks like to her so that you can do and be those things and supportive in the way that she needs it.
00:10:13.180Because I know a lot of guys, by default, they'll go in and try to fix it.
00:10:16.640Oh, just be happy and just, just, it's okay and everything will be fine.
00:10:20.640And I mean, look, I haven't been in that situation, but I imagine that if you're dealing with that, the last thing you want to hear is, oh, it's okay and you'll be fine and be, you know, pandered to a little bit.
00:10:33.560That would be flat out annoying. So don't make it worse by handling it the way you think you should handle it.
00:10:39.480Lines of communication open, figure out what would be helpful to her and engage in those things.
00:10:45.980Yeah. The only thing I'd add is, is have like a, I don't know what, what you'd call it, but some type of rule of, hey, if you're crazy stressed, whether we planned it or not, or it's not my time with the kid or whatever.
00:10:59.760And you reach this heightened level of like, I'm, I can't deal. Then you just come to me and say, I can't deal. And, and I'll take care of the kids. I'll watch the baby. I'll do whatever you go for a drive, you go for a walk, you go for run, you know, and, and be able to allow her to, uh, impromptu have those opportunities to step away because a lot of the time where their stress is not going to be planned, right?
00:11:24.780It's, it's going to be in this moment of crisis and, and they need someone to be able to just step in and, and take care of things so they can.
00:11:32.180Yeah. Yeah. I agree. And I would also say that when, when times aren't bad, when she's not feeling this way and she's feeling uplifted and positive, those are times where you can have conversations about this stuff because I'll tell you from my experience, the way that she's going to feel when she's getting this way,
00:11:48.780she's going to think she's a bad mom. Yeah. And so if you rush in and save and like, Oh, just go for a drive. And what she hears is neglect your motherly responsibilities and duties.
00:12:00.160And so she's going to think, Oh, I'm a bad mom. I shouldn't be doing this. I shouldn't feel this way. And then this whole problem just compounds. It's a cycle.
00:12:08.900So when, when things are good and it's not so emotionally unstable, that's a good time to have a conversation about expectations and how to handle it when things are off and, and they will be off.
00:12:22.800Yeah. Hmm. Good call. Ellis Lloyd Williams, his question, would you advise, what would your advice be to work hard at a career while you're still young and do all the things you want to do later in life or vice versa?
00:12:37.240I don't think those are mutually exclusive terms. Yeah. I don't think you have to choose.
00:12:45.280Yeah. Um, you would agree Ryan though, that most people think they do right. That, that you can't do both.
00:12:52.240Yeah. I believe that's probably true, but I think that you can work hard and that you can be diligent. Now, should you be going out and drinking with your buddies all weekend and acting crazy and neglecting your responsibilities or your opportunities for growth?
00:13:06.740No, I don't think so. I think that you, you should be diligent in your studies or diligent in securing a promotion or diligent in your work duties and obligations and responsibilities.
00:13:16.660And that way, when all your buddies are still trying to, trying to figure out where the latest party is, you're knee deep in a potentially rewarding career. But that doesn't mean that you can't take time for yourself. I mean, we can engage in so many different things and so many different opportunities and experiences that to just to say that, uh, you can't do both.
00:13:37.140I think is, is, is, is misleading yourself and limiting some opportunities that may otherwise arise.
00:13:43.340Yeah. I can't help, but think about what we talked about last week, the, the difference between, and I can't remember the terms that you use Ryan, but kind of this, this pursuit of, um, uh, I shouldn't even say pursuit of happiness. Cause then we all think of the movie.
00:13:58.840Um, but it's the right term, but this pursuit of happiness versus this pursuit of gratification or fulfillment or satisfaction.
00:14:08.840And so I think as long as you're young and you've gotten past this, this, this, this folly of happiness, right. Of seeking happiness only, um, then it doesn't matter. Right. Because then you're not wasting your time. Right. Then you are going after things that are meaningful. You're creating memories. You are, uh, doing these things that are a little bit more substantial in your life than just, uh, living in the moment. Yeah. Would you say that?
00:14:37.520Yeah, for sure. And I, and I think one of the hardest things for me, because I'm a serious guy, most people kind of understand that if they've been listening to the podcast around for any amount of time, it's like, it was really hard for me to figure out why the hell I would go out and hang out with people.
00:14:51.340Cause I thought that was like a waste of time. Like we just go out and we drink or we just socialize or we just watch the game. Like that sounds ridiculous. That sounds like a huge waste of time. But what I had to learn is that this is how people connect.
00:15:03.920And as long as I was deliberate and intentional about the way that I was doing it and who I was surrounding myself with, uh, then I felt like it was part of, well, let me put it this way, that it was an opportunity to expand my capacity, expand my network, which would at some future date, extend, expand my potential for, for growth and progress in my career and every other aspect of life.
00:15:29.920I go to conferences, for example, I'm like, I'm not here to just hang out. I mean, I'm, I, I pick and choose the conferences I go to very intentionally, very deliberately. And although I enjoy spending time with people and quote unquote, having fun, um, it's still, there's still a lot of intention behind it so that it is yes, fun and uplifting, but it's also purpose driven and meaningful to me as well.
00:15:53.520Right. I'm just not going out and drinking my life away. That's ridiculous. It's, Hey, I'm going to engage with people that edify me, that uplift me and can help me become a better human being.
00:16:02.400Yeah. Copy. All right. Chris and Drioni, Drioni wife wants more family time together. Two teenage daughters could not be more polar opposite of each other. It's almost like they scheme and wait for one to say what, what, wait for one to say they want to do something. So the other can say they don't almost all family time adventures turn into a fight. I'll own this. It's totally my fault.
00:16:29.340I gave up on the leadership role years ago while focusing on growing my business lessons learned. How do I fix it now? Three women all want different things. I just want harmony.
00:16:39.520It's not just women. Men want different things too. So let's not blame it on women. Let's not say that it's women. You know, I know men who are just as temperamental about what it is they're going to be doing on any given Saturday night or whatever it may be.
00:16:51.560Yeah. In his world, it's three women. Yeah.
00:16:53.500Right. Of course. I'm not denying that. I'm just saying this is not a specific or exclusive to women. This is just the human condition. Everybody wants different things. So you need to, you said it yourself. What's the solution? To be a leader. To step back into the leadership role that you are capable of stepping into and that you have an obligation to step into as the lead of the house and the father of the home and the husband of the home as well.
00:17:19.600But it's never too late. What are you going to do? Throw up your hands and say, well, because I wasn't a leader for the first 15 years of life, I guess I'm out. Like it's too late. No, you still have time. You still have an opportunity. So you've got to lead by example. Number one, you've got to communicate expectations. And I would say when it comes to differing and disagreeing opinions on what we should do. First of all, it's not really a democracy.
00:17:42.420Like my, my house is not a democracy. My wife and I ultimately decide what is going to happen within the household. Now we allow our children to some degree, have some input and say in the way that we're going to engage and spend our time.
00:17:56.280But at the end of the day that we decide that's how it goes. That's the rule. And that's the expectation. So if you're springing things on people last minute and saying, Hey, we're trying to figure out what we should do this weekend. What do you guys think? Of course, that's going to turn into a knockout drag down fight because you gave them right. The decision. Right. So communicate it early. One thing that we do in our house is every morning we have a family meeting in addition to some other things that we do.
00:18:23.100And we talk about what's going to be happening throughout the day, where people are going to be, what classes or sports activities we have. If mom and I are going out on a date, what we're going to be doing moving into the weekend so that we can all prepare ourselves physically and mentally for what's going to take place in the next 24 hours.
00:18:41.100Because the ability to communicate these things effectively up front has been instrumental in making sure that everybody's on the same page. But we also talk about sacrifice and understanding that the world doesn't revolve around any one of us.
00:18:55.660My kids know that the world doesn't revolve around you. Sometimes we're going to go out and we're going to engage in an activity that might not be at the top of your list, but today's not about you. So get over it. This is a very selfish attitude. It needs to be addressed.
00:19:07.680Yeah. And I can't help but say like, how many times have we had our kids say, Oh, I don't want to do that. And then you do it. And they're like, Oh, that was so fun. I'm so glad we did that. Right.
00:19:16.720It's like, right. I mean, ask them for input, but in the end, I mean, ultimately you and your wife probably know what's best for your daughters and what's best for the family.
00:19:24.940The other day, um, my, my second son, he wasn't feeling very well. He's a little under the weather and he had an attitude that went with it, of course. Right. So, so I knew my wife needed a break. Speaking about this earlier and we, she just needed a break. I could tell like it was getting to her that day.
00:19:41.140Yeah. And so I, I said, Hey kids, let's go. I got to go get my, my truck washed. And if you have little kids like going, taking your truck through the car wash is a fun thing for kids, right? Like it's so insignificant, but kids love for whatever reason to go into the car wash and see the car get washed while they're sitting in it. So I'm like, Hey guys, just get in. I got to go with my truck washed. And three of my kids are like, yeah, awesome. Let's jump in.
00:20:05.360And in my other little guy, he was not feeling well. He was mad as it was. He was like, yeah, that's stupid. I'm not doing that. I'm staying here. I said, no, you're not staying here. You're going to get your butt out of the house. You're going to get in the car and you're going to come with me.
00:20:21.900Yeah. You're like, you sit in the bed.
00:20:24.440Right. Yeah, exactly. Let's wash you off here. Yeah. You know, but I told him and I explained why, Hey mom just needs a breather for a minute. I got to get my truck washed anyways. We're going to go out. We're going to take 20, 30,
00:20:35.360minutes and get this done. And then we're going to come back and all is going to be well. And he was so pissed off, so pissed off until we got into the car wash. And then he's just staring out the window, watching the soap and watching the machine do its thing. And he loved it. You know, so you're the dad, be assertive, put your foot down, but at the same time, communicate the expectations and the standard very clearly upfront and give them time to process it too.
00:20:59.520Yeah. Yeah. Especially if they're boys, it seems, that seems like a boy thing. Like that's a me thing for sure.
00:21:07.620Time to process stuff, right? Like Asia could, Asia could tell me on Sunday and say, this is going to be the, your worst week possible. I need you double time helping on all these things. Like, and, and, and if she told me that on Sunday, my ability to deal with that is, is pretty, pretty good.
00:21:27.780Sure. But if Tuesday at 4 PM, she goes, Oh, Hey, by the way, I need this tonight. And you know what I mean? Then I'm like, uh, like for whatever reason, for me, it's like, I can process it. If I have, if I, if I'm notified ahead of time, I can almost do it.
00:21:44.200I don't think it's a man's thing. No, no, I think it's a personality thing.
00:21:48.240That's why I blame it on it. I blame it as a man thing.
00:21:50.360So, no, I don't. I, I mean, I, I need that advance notice because if I don't have it, then I can't adjust my schedule and plan things accordingly and really do the things that I need to do in order to be adequately prepared for that thing. But I don't think that's it. I don't think that's gender specific. I just think that's the way that we approach. Like, are you an organized person who needs structure and discipline? Or are you a free spirit? If you will, who's like, let's just do it. Cause it sounds fun.
00:22:17.700And, and I know both men and women who fall. My wife's like that too, which is probably why you're attracted to your wife. And I'm attracted to my wife because it balance, it's that yin and yang, right? It balances it out. It's kind of, it's, it's intriguing and fascinating to me. And at the same time, it's frustrating, you know, but it's a side of me that I don't have. And I think you and I are very much in alignment that way. Not because we're men, just because that's our personality.
00:22:43.380Yeah. Well, and luckily for our kids, they get a little both. Cause my kids crack joke all the time. It's like, oh, mom's leaving tonight. Great. We're now, we're going to be stuck home cleaning the house and organizing things. Cause that's exact. I mean, that's my mode, right? It's like, all right, let's get something done and productivity, man. Let's feel good in three hours from now.
00:23:03.620Yep. Yeah. You and me are very, very much alike in that.
00:23:07.180That's funny. That's funny. All right. Justin Finney. Next question. I have been trying to work on eye contact. I thought this was a really interesting question, by the way. I've been trying to work on eye contact as well as walking with my head up. I'm a really outgoing person. So I don't know, even know why I need to do this. I feel now that I'm trying to work on this. It feels forced and awkward and other people can sense it. Does this go away? And is there anything I can do to make it feel natural?
00:23:34.420So I was thinking about, um, as you're reading this, I was thinking about, uh, playing catch last year with, with my sons. Cause we play, we play sports all year long, but we're kind of getting close where we're getting into baseball season.
00:23:49.700Yeah. And I was playing catch and I'm right-handed. So I was playing catch with my son and my, my second son, and he was having a really hard time throwing the ball. I'm like, what is your problem?
00:23:59.720Like, does he look awkward too? Yeah. He just looks like he's out of water. Ridiculous. And I'm like, what is your problem? Like just grab the ball and step and throw it. And then I stopped for a second. I said, well, wait a second. Like, what if, what if I try to throw left-handed? So that's what I did. I took my glove off and I started throwing left-handed. And I, the things that I was saying to him,
00:24:25.580I had to turn around and say to myself, like, what is your problem? You know, how to throw a baseball, you know, the mechanics of leverage and getting speed and velocity on the ball. You know how to grip the ball, you know, your stance and you know, all of that stuff. And yet you can't do it because you're not familiar with it. That's it. That's all it is.
00:24:47.600So this gentleman who's having a hard time with eye contact and keeping himself upright. Yeah. It feels awkward because you're not used to doing it. It sounds like. That's it. That's the only reason it feels awkward. So just keep doing it. Just keep practicing. You'll get more natural. But yeah, anytime you're doing something new, it's going to feel awkward. It's going to feel stupid. It's going to feel silly. That's a good indicator that you've put yourself in a position to learn something new that you haven't quite mastered yet. So just keep doing it. Just keep doing it.
00:25:18.440And Justin, people are probably just noticing you because your presence is better, right? You couldn't ask that. I don't, you don't know that if you look awkward or not, you're putting that meaning and you're assuming that people are noticing that you're quote-unquote.
00:49:04.300she was calling my wife directly and trying to tell her how the relationship should go or tell me how the relationship should go severed, done, not our relationship, but I won't tolerate that.
00:49:15.240And I would just come to her and I would say,
00:53:00.040Like if there's one thing that I wish I could see more in not only the members of order of man and the iron council and just this movement in general is that we would stop looking for excuses.
00:57:46.320Just like you wouldn't want somebody to be hard or rough with your daughter when she decides to go out and accept somebody's hand in marriage.