Order of Man - June 20, 2025


6 Books Every Father Should Read ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

Topics
happy father's day The Boy Crisis Strong Fathers regulating emotions and masculinity good and strong fathers
Hosted by
Ryan Michler
Mentioned
Warren Farrell John Eldridge Meg Meeker Connor Beaton Robert Peel Iron John Sovereignty Ryan Mickler Carl Jung Preside
The 'Yes' Mentality, Becoming a Man of Honor, and When to Start a Business ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING CODY JEFFERSON ｜ Build a Life That Calls to You

Episode Stats


Length

18 minutes

Words per minute

176.13

Word count

3,185

Sentence count

167

Harmful content

Misogyny

3

sentences flagged

Toxicity

4

sentences flagged

Hate speech

8

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In honor of Father's Day, I give you 5 book recommendations that every father ought to read, embrace, know, understand, and implement in his life and for the betterment of his children. 1. The Boy Crisis by Dr. Warren Farrell 2. Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters by Meg Meeker 3. The Third Branch: How to Help Our Families by John Wooden 4. How to Support Our Fathers by Bill Cosby 5. How To Support Our Sons by John Grisham

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 I have really struggled in a lot of ways with my daughter.
00:00:02.860 And that's why I, about six months ago, picked up a copy of this book, Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters.
00:00:08.820 In it, Meg Meeker talks about the importance of a male role model in a young woman's life.
00:00:15.060 A stable, centralized, emotionally intelligent, rational, level-headed, kind, disciplined male role model in the life of a young lady, a young girl,
00:00:26.220 is crucial to their development and sense of self-worth.
00:00:32.780 Gentlemen, you know how important fatherhood is.
00:00:35.280 Whether you grew up as a young boy with an engaged, present, loving, committed, disciplined father, or the complete opposite.
00:00:44.420 Maybe your father was not physically around, or maybe he was, and he was verbally or emotionally or even physically abusive.
00:00:51.740 Regardless, whether you had a present, loving father in your life or not,
00:00:56.820 I think it's safe to say that all of us understand the importance of having that type of father in our lives.
00:01:02.460 A father who's engaged, who loves his children, who works hard on himself,
00:01:06.820 who stands as a beacon and a pillar of an example to his young boys and girls.
00:01:13.300 I know I'm a little bit late in getting this one to you for Father's Day.
00:01:16.740 That was last weekend.
00:01:17.740 I've been pretty busy with some traveling with my oldest son.
00:01:21.920 This is becoming a family tradition each summer where we spend a week on the island of Molokai
00:01:28.520 hunting together Axis deer and goats and everything else that we can hunt and feed our families with.
00:01:36.820 In fact, a couple of years ago, speaking of Father's Day,
00:01:40.380 I almost died hunting goats on the big island in Hawaii in front of my son.
00:01:46.700 It was on Father's Day, and I had made a miscalculation, we'll say, and was very close to my death.
00:01:55.800 And I'm not exaggerating, and that is not hyperbole.
00:01:59.480 But we made it through, and here I am.
00:02:02.060 And as of the release of this podcast, hopefully I'm back from Hawaii with my son after a successful hunt.
00:02:08.040 But it got me thinking a lot about how important the role as fathers that we play in the lives of our children.
00:02:16.500 Our boys ultimately look to us as an example of the kind of men they're going to become.
00:02:22.220 And our daughters ultimately look not only to us as an example of the type of people they will become,
00:02:27.240 but also the type of men that at some point they will partner with
00:02:31.700 and hopefully build a long-term, committed, loving relationship where they can build their own family together.
00:02:39.520 And on the back of Father's Day, let me first say this.
00:02:42.520 Happy Father's Day to all of you who are fathers and you're doing the work.
00:02:46.380 I know it's difficult. I know it's thankless many times.
00:02:49.740 I know there's a lot of sleepless nights.
00:02:51.120 If you have a newborn, you know that.
00:02:53.100 Even if you have, as I do, a 17-year-old who's getting ready to branch out on his own and take on the world,
00:03:00.040 that's a new concern for me.
00:03:01.920 Maybe you're an empty nester, but you still think about your sons and daughters
00:03:05.180 and what they might be experiencing.
00:03:07.260 So I just want to say happy Father's Day.
00:03:09.100 I know I'm a week late, but I was busy doing fatherly things.
00:03:13.220 So today I thought, in honor of Father's Day, I would share with you five book,
00:03:16.560 actually I think I have six, six book recommendations
00:03:18.960 that I believe every father ought to read, embrace, know, understand, and implement
00:03:25.660 in his life and for the betterment of his children.
00:03:28.920 So let's get right to it.
00:03:29.740 Number one is The Boy Crisis by Dr. Warren Farrell.
00:03:34.920 Unfortunately, we live in a culture and a society that is stacked against our young men.
00:03:41.800 And when I started this movement 10 years ago, I would say things like that.
00:03:45.320 And it was amazing to me how many people would mock and ridicule and criticize
00:03:49.980 and overlook and diminish what I was saying.
00:03:54.100 But I don't think it's a question anymore.
00:03:56.740 At least I hope it's not.
00:03:58.400 The school system, academia, the medical community, entertainment, the government,
00:04:03.600 all of these institutions are quite literally stacked against the betterment of our young men.
00:04:07.680 And in that book, Dr. Warren Farrell makes the case that there is a crisis for young men
00:04:13.260 in the halls of academia, specifically, and why our institutions and how exactly they are failing
00:04:22.440 our young boys.
00:04:24.260 We see failing metrics from incarceration rates, drug use, suicide, depression, anxiety,
00:04:33.420 even grades are slipping behind, engaged in families, engaged in relationships.
00:04:39.100 Men are just falling behind.
00:04:41.240 And he talks about specifically what the problems are and what we might be able to do as fathers
00:04:46.260 to not only help our sons, but help our community.
00:04:51.380 And I do believe we have a responsibility to do that.
00:04:54.160 If we can first take care of ourselves, second, take care of our families,
00:04:57.360 third, start to branch out and take care of other people,
00:05:00.040 then we have a responsibility to do that.
00:05:01.580 So if you want to know the root of the issues that we're dealing with in this country,
00:05:05.700 specifically regarding the struggling and horrendous metrics for our young men,
00:05:12.620 The Boy Crisis is a very, very great read.
00:05:15.500 And I've had Dr. Warren Farrell on the podcast twice now.
00:05:18.240 So if you want to just catch the hour-long synopsis,
00:05:20.980 you can type in Order of Man Warren Farrell in the search,
00:05:24.800 wherever you listen to podcasts, and you'll find it.
00:05:27.440 So The Boy Crisis is number one.
00:05:29.260 Number two is a book called Iron John.
00:05:31.580 By Robert Bly.
00:05:32.960 This is a little bit of poetry, a little bit of fiction.
00:05:36.800 It's a very good book.
00:05:37.980 It's a very interesting read.
00:05:39.240 But he makes the case in that book that men are, or young boys,
00:05:44.240 are designed to at some point separate from their mothers.
00:05:49.920 And in the book, he introduces a character that I believe he calls the wild man.
00:05:53.800 And the wild man is this hairy creature that introduces this young boy to who he is by nature
00:06:01.080 and helps him recognize and acknowledge that he's no longer an innocent little child
00:06:05.600 that should cling to his mother but should embrace risk and challenge and adventure
00:06:10.220 and at some point separate from the mother.
00:06:12.620 And I know the ladies who listen, and there are quite a few, quite a few single mothers, in fact,
00:06:17.640 who listen to this podcast might think to themselves or might act as if they don't want to let their young boys grow up.
00:06:25.100 But I can see why it would be uncomfortable.
00:06:27.620 I can see why that would be a challenging thing for you.
00:06:31.020 Maybe even more so than your male counterparts, his father or stepfather or other uncles and grandparents,
00:06:36.960 grandfathers in his life.
00:06:38.420 But we've got to let our boys grow up.
00:06:41.280 And we've got to let them embrace what it means to be a quote-unquote wild man
00:06:46.000 within contained and controlled environments for the better outcome of themselves and for other people.
00:06:51.140 So I love this book.
00:06:52.980 It's called, again, Iron John by Robert Bly.
00:06:57.100 And I think it's entertaining, it's informative,
00:07:00.520 and it really underscores the importance of boys separating from their mothers
00:07:04.880 and stepping into the quote-unquote wild man that they have within them.
00:07:10.140 Number three, one of my favorite books of all time, in fact, very, very instrumental
00:07:14.600 in the early formation of this movement,
00:07:17.520 is a book called Wild at Heart by John Eldridge.
00:07:21.940 I had John on the podcast two or three months ago at this point,
00:07:25.860 and what an honor it was to be able to sit down face-to-face with John
00:07:29.760 and tell him thank you for being so instrumental in creating the movement
00:07:35.220 that we now call Order of Men,
00:07:37.260 with, of course, the Protect, Provide, Preside mission and motto.
00:07:41.380 In the book, again, very similar thread line,
00:07:44.200 he makes the case that men are designed to step away from their mothers,
00:07:50.200 designed to step away from the feminine, 0.70
00:07:52.180 and step into a wild sort of life.
00:07:55.240 One of my favorite quotes of all time is,
00:07:57.120 deep in his heart, every man longs for a battle to fight,
00:08:00.500 an adventure to live, and a beauty to rescue.
00:08:03.440 And in this book, John makes the case that we as men ought to embrace those things,
00:08:07.400 a battle to fight, an adventure, and a beauty to rescue.
00:08:10.460 He also talks about the importance of embracing the wild nature of ourselves
00:08:17.480 and how we can get into nature, how we can get into the world,
00:08:21.100 we can learn about who we are, we can separate from our mothers, 0.60
00:08:25.080 we can embrace fully who we are as men.
00:08:29.160 And I think if I were to give a quick synopsis
00:08:32.680 or even just one sentence overview of what this book is,
00:08:36.700 he makes the case that men are constantly asking themselves,
00:08:41.440 consciously or subconsciously,
00:08:43.440 do I have what it takes?
00:08:46.440 Do I have what it takes?
00:08:48.240 That's what all men are trying to answer. 0.99
00:08:51.060 And if you have young boys,
00:08:52.520 whether you're a father or you're a mother,
00:08:54.780 you need to help them with activities, encounters, experiences,
00:09:01.460 that help them formulate the answer in the affirmative,
00:09:05.120 that yes, they do indeed have what it takes.
00:09:07.720 Not always comfortable, not always easy,
00:09:10.060 but worth it if we want to see our young men develop.
00:09:13.320 Number four, this one is for the girl dads. 0.95
00:09:16.240 It's called Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters by Meg Meeker.
00:09:20.700 I have three boys and one daughter.
00:09:24.940 I'm not going to say I'm great with my sons.
00:09:27.200 I think that would be an overstatement,
00:09:28.640 but I'm better with my sons than I am with my daughter.
00:09:31.720 And the reason is, is because I understand boys.
00:09:34.480 I understand the nature of boys.
00:09:36.600 I get what young men are doing.
00:09:38.600 Obviously, I've been in their shoes.
00:09:40.840 I know what it's like to have all those hormones 0.65
00:09:42.740 coursing through your veins.
00:09:44.820 And you're worried about girls and competing
00:09:47.900 and fighting and posturing and taking risks
00:09:50.700 and gaining independence as a young boy.
00:09:53.580 I don't know the same thing about young women. 1.00
00:09:56.020 And to be blunt as I can,
00:09:58.880 I have really struggled in a lot of ways with my daughter.
00:10:01.720 And that's why I, about six months ago,
00:10:03.940 picked up a copy of this book,
00:10:05.500 Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters.
00:10:07.700 In it, Meg Meeker talks about the importance 0.86
00:10:10.600 of a male role model in a young woman's life.
00:10:14.280 In fact, I think in The Boy Crisis,
00:10:17.120 Dr. Warren Farrell talks about this too,
00:10:18.940 that a stable, centralized, emotionally intelligent,
00:10:25.400 rational, level-headed, kind, disciplined male role model
00:10:29.240 in the life of a young lady, a young girl,
00:10:31.860 is crucial to their development and sense of self-worth.
00:10:36.460 So if you have young daughters
00:10:38.480 and you're wondering how you can connect with them,
00:10:41.260 but still maintain your masculine frame
00:10:43.680 and love on your daughters
00:10:45.780 the way you ought to love on them as a man,
00:10:48.980 this is a great book.
00:10:50.300 She's not making the case
00:10:51.700 that you need to be more feminine 0.80
00:10:52.880 or you need to be more soft
00:10:54.880 or you need to act out of character
00:10:56.600 based on who you are as a man,
00:10:58.320 but how we embrace our masculine characteristics
00:11:01.020 in order to lead, guide, instruct, coach,
00:11:04.600 and ultimately serve our daughters.
00:11:07.200 That one's called Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters
00:11:09.460 by Meg Meeker.
00:11:10.700 I have two more here for you guys.
00:11:12.800 The next one, I think this is number five,
00:11:14.800 is Men's Work by Connor Beaton.
00:11:17.320 Connor is a deep thinker.
00:11:20.340 He's trained with psychology and therapy
00:11:24.480 and he understands a lot of what I fail to understand
00:11:28.780 as a man.
00:11:30.160 I'm an intuitive person by nature.
00:11:32.560 I feel like if it's something I should do,
00:11:34.820 then I ought to go do it.
00:11:35.820 And I think where Connor and I might differentiate
00:11:37.860 a little bit more is he's a deeper thinker.
00:11:39.700 And in his book, Men's Work,
00:11:42.180 he talks about integrating the shadow.
00:11:45.120 If you're familiar with shadow work
00:11:47.020 and the concepts by people like Carl Jung,
00:11:50.520 you might have a little bit of a glimpse
00:11:52.040 into what Connor talks about in the book, Men's Work.
00:11:55.740 How do we embrace who we truly are?
00:11:58.200 How do we embrace the challenging sides
00:12:01.040 or even the darker emotions that we may experience?
00:12:05.660 And what I like about the work that he's doing
00:12:07.480 is he's talking about how to regulate our emotions.
00:12:11.600 And as fathers, that's crucial that we do.
00:12:14.460 I have four kids.
00:12:15.500 I get frustrated.
00:12:16.400 I get angry.
00:12:17.120 I get short.
00:12:17.760 I get agitated all the time with my children.
00:12:20.600 And the difference between successful fathers
00:12:22.620 and I think unsuccessful fathers
00:12:24.900 is the men who learn how to regulate their emotions
00:12:28.520 and show up in a very powerful way for themselves
00:12:31.660 and for the people that they love.
00:12:33.720 So if you're looking for a book
00:12:34.820 on how to regulate yourself,
00:12:36.620 how to understand the nature of masculinity and manliness,
00:12:40.100 how to wrestle with the darker nature
00:12:41.960 at times of ourselves and integrate that,
00:12:44.920 not stuff it down, not eliminate it,
00:12:46.660 not avoid it,
00:12:47.340 and certainly not pretend as if it doesn't exist,
00:12:49.700 but to embrace who we are as men,
00:12:53.120 integrate it into the way that we show up
00:12:55.400 and show up powerfully as masculine, manly role models
00:12:59.960 for the people that we love and we care about.
00:13:03.060 And the last one, and of course, this is a bit biased,
00:13:05.960 I would highly encourage you guys,
00:13:07.420 if you have not yet read a copy of my book,
00:13:09.760 Sovereignty, The Battle for the Hearts and Minds of Men,
00:13:12.700 I think that's crucial.
00:13:14.440 I would not have wrote it
00:13:15.340 if I didn't think that was the case.
00:13:17.280 There is a battle for your heart
00:13:19.300 and your mind and your soul.
00:13:21.860 And academia, as I mentioned earlier,
00:13:23.700 medical institutions and the government
00:13:25.960 would love nothing more than for you to be weak, 1.00
00:13:28.780 pathetic, cowardly, lazy, 1.00
00:13:30.720 and a sack of crap, 1.00
00:13:33.480 if I'm being blunt as I can be. 1.00
00:13:35.620 Because you are easier to control
00:13:37.560 when you are behaving that way.
00:13:39.720 If you want to lead your wife, 0.99
00:13:42.000 if you want to lead your children,
00:13:44.040 it is a prerequisite that you have sovereignty,
00:13:46.940 that you have liberty over your own life,
00:13:49.800 that you can lead yourself,
00:13:51.700 that you can overcome temptation,
00:13:54.060 that you can figure out how to serve
00:13:55.420 not only yourself, but other people.
00:13:57.600 And in the book, I make the case
00:13:59.060 that sovereignty is probably the biggest battle
00:14:01.780 that we as men will ever face,
00:14:03.780 but the one that's going to move the needle the most.
00:14:06.460 When a father, a patriarch,
00:14:08.480 is in his home,
00:14:09.840 and he's leading righteously,
00:14:11.680 and he's leading in his masculinity,
00:14:13.480 and he's leaning into who he is as a man,
00:14:15.740 and he's serving his wife and his kids,
00:14:18.080 we become unstoppable.
00:14:19.460 And if thousands, hundreds of thousands,
00:14:23.360 millions, and even billions of people,
00:14:25.480 men around the planet,
00:14:27.100 embrace the idea of sovereignty in their own lives,
00:14:29.680 and then turn around and serve those they love,
00:14:32.080 mainly to their children,
00:14:33.360 the world will be a completely different place.
00:14:36.520 So I tried to give you a broad array.
00:14:39.740 It's not all on parenting, per se,
00:14:42.180 but these six books that I shared with you
00:14:44.540 will not only help you become a better man,
00:14:46.720 but they will help you become a better father.
00:14:49.800 Now, I don't want you to read 17 books.
00:14:51.980 I don't even know if I'm even suggesting at this point
00:14:54.100 that you read all six for the rest of the year,
00:14:56.320 because more important to me
00:14:58.100 is not how many books you read,
00:14:59.740 but how much you're implementing.
00:15:01.720 So if you pick two books out of this,
00:15:03.940 maybe you read a book a month,
00:15:05.700 maybe you read one per quarter.
00:15:07.880 We've got two more quarters,
00:15:08.980 so you read two of these books,
00:15:10.320 and you implement everything that you can
00:15:12.660 from those books,
00:15:13.460 you'll be better off than if you didn't.
00:15:15.520 So again, the books are
00:15:16.860 The Boy Crisis by Warren Farrell,
00:15:19.380 Iron John by Robert Bly,
00:15:21.740 Wild at Heart by John Eldridge,
00:15:23.860 Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters by Meg Meeker,
00:15:28.100 Men's Work by Connor Beaton,
00:15:30.160 and of course, Sovereignty by me, Ryan Mickler.
00:15:33.220 Those are the six books that I would recommend
00:15:35.400 on the tail end of Father's Day.
00:15:38.400 I know I missed it last week.
00:15:39.940 I'm actually recording this episode before Father's Day
00:15:42.460 because we've got our trip coming up,
00:15:45.180 and I will be unavailable for the next week
00:15:47.700 as I spend time with my oldest son.
00:15:49.680 And unfortunately, and fortunately,
00:15:53.200 I don't have many of these left.
00:15:55.160 This might be the last one I have with my son
00:15:57.420 before he moves out.
00:15:58.680 I might have one more next year,
00:16:00.240 but it's coming quick,
00:16:01.420 and it's poignant that we're talking about
00:16:03.860 the importance of being good fathers,
00:16:06.380 whether they're leaving,
00:16:07.600 whether you're having newborns,
00:16:09.440 or maybe you're becoming an empty nester.
00:16:12.860 Crucial that we learn how to step up
00:16:14.620 as men and as fathers.
00:16:16.380 So let me know.
00:16:17.020 If there's other books that you would like
00:16:18.580 to add to this list, please let me know.
00:16:21.220 There's a great resource that we just made available.
00:16:23.640 It's our bookshelf.
00:16:24.560 If you go to orderofman.com bookshelf,
00:16:28.040 all of these books are on that list.
00:16:30.680 You're going to get 20 to 25 books
00:16:32.600 that every man ought to read
00:16:34.240 in the subjects of philosophy, masculinity,
00:16:39.100 philosophy, I think I already said philosophy,
00:16:41.420 fatherhood, et cetera.
00:16:43.080 So if you go to orderofman.com bookshelf,
00:16:45.200 you'll get those 25 books,
00:16:46.440 including the books that I'm currently reading
00:16:48.280 as of right now.
00:16:50.460 One other resource,
00:16:51.340 if you want to go deep into any of these subjects,
00:16:53.520 fatherhood, or the boy crisis,
00:16:56.940 or how to integrate your shadow work,
00:16:59.120 or free yourself and become more wild by nature
00:17:03.120 in a constructive way,
00:17:04.900 then join our exclusive brotherhood,
00:17:06.840 the Iron Council.
00:17:07.840 It's open for enrollment until the end of June.
00:17:11.020 You can do that at orderofman.com
00:17:12.880 slash ironcouncil.
00:17:14.580 All right, guys, again, a little late, I know,
00:17:18.160 but I want to wish those of you who are fathers
00:17:19.940 or soon-to-be fathers a happy Father's Day.
00:17:22.680 You are doing good work.
00:17:24.400 You are doing much-needed work.
00:17:26.420 The world would not operate without you.
00:17:29.220 I know there's a common push out there
00:17:31.780 to say that maybe men aren't needed.
00:17:33.840 That is the furthest thing from the truth.
00:17:35.760 You are needed.
00:17:37.080 You are appreciated.
00:17:38.700 And you are making a difference.
00:17:41.780 All right, guys, we will be back next week
00:17:44.200 for another interview.
00:17:45.160 Until then, go out there, take action,
00:17:47.180 be a good and strong, capable father,
00:17:49.680 and become the man you are meant to be.
00:17:55.340 Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast.
00:17:58.320 If you're ready to take charge of your life
00:17:59.940 and be more of the man you were meant to be,
00:18:02.000 we invite you to join the order at orderofman.com.