Order of Man - September 27, 2024


7 Signs of Masculine Maturity ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES


Episode Stats

Length

37 minutes

Words per Minute

183.6262

Word Count

6,897

Sentence Count

388

Misogynist Sentences

5

Hate Speech Sentences

13


Summary

The more a man can regulate his emotions, the more capable he is of being a protector, a provider, and a presider. These are the 7 Signs of Masculine Maturity, and are things you can implement in your life today.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 I've been volatile.
00:00:01.040 I've been up and down.
00:00:02.520 I've really taken the highs to the extreme and really taken the lows to extreme.
00:00:07.400 I've reacted unnecessarily to other people, some of those people, the closest people in
00:00:12.020 my life.
00:00:12.460 And I've allowed my emotions as an immature man to dictate the way that I operate or navigate
00:00:18.180 through this thing we call life.
00:00:19.940 But the more a man can regulate his emotions, the more capable he is of being a protector
00:00:24.340 and provider and a presider, which is what we talk about every single day here on this
00:00:28.340 podcast and in this movement.
00:00:30.000 You're a man of action.
00:00:32.740 You live life to the fullest, embrace your fears, and boldly charge your own path.
00:00:37.040 When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time, every time.
00:00:41.760 You are not easily deterred or defeated, rugged, resilient, strong.
00:00:46.820 This is your life.
00:00:47.900 This is who you are.
00:00:49.320 This is who you will become at the end of the day.
00:00:52.260 And after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.
00:00:56.000 Ben, welcome here today to the Order of Man podcast.
00:01:00.060 Thank you for tuning in.
00:01:01.100 I am Ryan Michler.
00:01:02.060 I'm the host and the founder of this organization and movement, and I am glad that you're here.
00:01:06.960 I've got a very, very important one.
00:01:09.640 These are seven signs of masculine maturity.
00:01:14.400 These are things that I'm working on.
00:01:15.780 They're things that I've identified.
00:01:17.120 They're things that I can implement in my life to varying degrees.
00:01:20.860 But at the end of the day, I think if men implemented these seven things, not only would they feel better about themselves, other people would feel better about them.
00:01:28.820 And I know that's a little counterintuitive based on what society would tell you, that you have the zero-ass mentality.
00:01:35.080 You don't care what other people think.
00:01:37.100 That is the furthest thing from the truth, guys.
00:01:40.040 The reality is this.
00:01:41.440 You should care about what people think.
00:01:43.440 And more specifically or accurately, I would say what some people think.
00:01:47.580 There are people that you're trying to lead, your wife, your kids, colleagues, coworkers, neighbors, friends, family, et cetera, clients.
00:01:56.000 Those are people you're trying to lead.
00:01:58.100 And if you want to lead yourself first effectively and you want to help lead other people effectively and help them get to a place that they could not have imagined going on their own,
00:02:06.660 then you need to be aware of these seven signs of masculine maturity.
00:02:11.140 And when you do and you implement these and you grow and you develop and you get better at implementing these seven things, everything else will start to fall into place.
00:02:20.180 Now, I'm going to get into these seven signs.
00:02:21.860 I'm going to share with you some things that I think you can do above and beyond what I'm going to share with you today here at the end of the podcast.
00:02:26.660 But for now, I want to start with one of my favorite poems because I drew a lot of inspiration for this conversation from this poem by Rudyard Kipling.
00:02:35.500 And it's called If. A lot of you guys are very familiar with If. Let me read this to you.
00:02:41.140 If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you.
00:02:47.060 If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, but make allowance for their doubting too.
00:02:53.400 If you can wait and not be tired by waiting or be lied about, don't deal in lies.
00:02:58.700 Or being hated, don't give way to hating and yet don't look too good nor talk too wise.
00:03:06.120 If you can dream and not make your dreams your master.
00:03:09.980 If you can think and not make thoughts your aim.
00:03:14.480 If you can meet with triumph and disaster and treat those two imposters just the same.
00:03:20.360 If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken, twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools.
00:03:26.500 Or watch the things you gave your life to broken and stoop and build them up with worn out tools.
00:03:34.000 If you can make one heap of all your winnings and risk it on one turn of pitch and toss.
00:03:39.900 And lose and start again at your beginnings.
00:03:43.200 And never breathe a word about your loss.
00:03:45.900 If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew to serve your turn long after they are gone.
00:03:51.300 And so hold on when there is nothing in you except the will which says to them, hold on.
00:03:58.920 If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue or walk with kings nor lose the common touch.
00:04:04.280 If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you.
00:04:07.760 If all men count with you, but none too much.
00:04:11.000 If you can fill the unforgiving minute with 60 seconds worth of distant run.
00:04:15.580 Son, yours is the earth and everything that's in it.
00:04:20.960 And which is more, you'll be a man, my son.
00:04:25.380 Like I said, one of my favorite poems.
00:04:28.580 A lot of great, great information in here.
00:04:31.900 I know it's a poem.
00:04:33.040 I know that we can just kind of skip through it.
00:04:35.360 We can overlook a lot of the lessons that are taught in this poem by Rudyard Kipling.
00:04:39.600 Which happens to be, like I said, one of my favorite.
00:04:42.220 But I wanted to expand on this a little bit more.
00:04:45.320 Not directly correlated or tied to this.
00:04:47.440 But some thoughts that I think are indirectly tied to what Rudyard Kipling shares here.
00:04:52.120 So let's get into these seven signs of masculine maturity.
00:04:56.820 Number one, emotional regulation.
00:04:59.980 Guys, I've been in positions in my life where I have not been regulated emotionally.
00:05:04.780 I've been volatile.
00:05:06.160 I've been up and down.
00:05:07.300 I've really taken the highs to the extreme and really taken the lows to extreme.
00:05:13.600 I've reacted unnecessarily to other people.
00:05:17.440 Some of those people, the closest people in my life.
00:05:20.280 And I've allowed my emotions as an immature man to dictate the way that I operate or navigate
00:05:26.700 through this thing we call life.
00:05:28.980 But the more a man can regulate his emotions,
00:05:31.440 the more capable he is of being a protector and provider and a presider.
00:05:36.100 Which is what we talk about every single day here on this podcast and in this movement.
00:05:41.000 It's not always easy.
00:05:42.600 And I think the best way to learn to regulate your emotions is to begin to be comfortable in sitting with your emotions.
00:05:49.540 Too often society, or even just culturally, or maybe by your dad even, you learned that we suppress our emotions,
00:05:56.500 that we hide them, that we don't talk about them, that we don't address them,
00:06:00.160 that we just box them up and we never worry about them again.
00:06:02.820 And well, I think at times there's probably some validity to that.
00:06:06.780 I can't break down when my kids are relying upon me.
00:06:10.460 But there are moments where I can really just sit and reflect and be comfortable with sadness,
00:06:16.860 or sorrow, or loss, or grief, or jealousy, or envy,
00:06:20.000 or any of the emotions that you and I experience every single day.
00:06:25.300 And let's just extrapolate sadness.
00:06:28.260 I know a lot of men are sad and they're feeling lonely potentially.
00:06:32.360 They're having a hard time.
00:06:33.760 They're dealing with loss.
00:06:34.800 They're dealing with tragedy.
00:06:35.780 They're dealing with a job loss or a medical ailment,
00:06:38.080 or a breakdown of a marriage or a long-term relationship.
00:06:41.820 And I feel that sorrow for you.
00:06:44.560 And so we try to bury it.
00:06:47.520 We try to box it up and pretend it doesn't exist.
00:06:50.160 The problem with that is that if you never get familiar with your emotions,
00:06:53.520 you're never going to be able to regulate them.
00:06:56.400 So I would suggest, when appropriate, that's the key phrase here, when appropriate,
00:07:02.200 that you sit in your sadness and you sit in your sorrow
00:07:04.880 and you learn how to be comfortable with being sad, or mad, or angry, or jealous, etc., etc.
00:07:12.520 The more familiar you are with not just your emotions, but anything in life,
00:07:16.620 the more comfortable you're going to be when you experience those things.
00:07:20.520 There are minutes and moments and even days of sadness in my life
00:07:25.440 for past mistakes, and sorrow, and loss, and tragedy, and embarrassment.
00:07:33.020 But I'm okay sitting with those things because I know that I need to show up powerfully
00:07:37.260 for the people in my life.
00:07:38.980 And if I can't regulate my own emotions,
00:07:42.400 I sure as heck can't help other people regulate theirs.
00:07:46.400 So when my kids come to me distraught about what's going on with school,
00:07:49.500 or what's going on with life,
00:07:51.040 or they just got dumped by their boyfriend or their girlfriend,
00:07:53.800 or just the pains of living life and going through childhood,
00:07:58.680 if I'm not strong enough to deal with my own stuff,
00:08:00.960 I sure as heck cannot help them deal with their stuff.
00:08:04.360 And what I end up doing is lashing out,
00:08:07.740 reacting instead of responding.
00:08:10.180 This up and down, the highs and lows of every little thing that comes at me.
00:08:14.900 But I think a man doesn't allow these little deterrents to distract him.
00:08:21.680 He's not easily triggered.
00:08:24.260 He doesn't react the way that most young men do,
00:08:28.000 or even maybe some older men.
00:08:30.860 Instead, he decides to be engaged, reasonable, responsible,
00:08:34.540 and respond to the environment as opposed to react.
00:08:40.700 So that's number one.
00:08:41.360 Number two is extreme responsibility.
00:08:45.320 I can't tell you how often I talk with guys about what's going on in their life,
00:08:48.560 and all of them are saying,
00:08:49.420 yeah, yeah, my wife, and yeah, yeah, my boss,
00:08:51.400 and yeah, the economy, and yeah, this person,
00:08:53.280 or yeah, my childhood, or yeah, my genetics,
00:08:55.460 or pick your excuse of choice.
00:08:58.620 Now, I will say that some of those are reasons.
00:09:01.780 For example, if you had a rough childhood,
00:09:03.580 it might be a reason that you have some struggles in your life,
00:09:07.240 but it's certainly not an excuse for it.
00:09:08.920 And the difference between reasons and excuses is that a reason is something that's legitimate,
00:09:16.180 and it's like a comma in a sentence.
00:09:19.740 I had this happen in my life, comma,
00:09:22.080 so therefore, I need to be aware of that and be better.
00:09:24.700 But an excuse is a period.
00:09:27.780 I had this happen in my life when I was a kid, and that's why, period.
00:09:33.160 Can you see how an excuse hinders and halts your progress and growth?
00:09:38.620 But a reason is actually powerful because you know what's going on,
00:09:43.860 and you can identify it, and you can start to work against it, to overcome it.
00:09:49.440 And that's what I mean by extreme responsibility.
00:09:52.180 Now, I will say this, because a lot of the times,
00:09:54.080 especially when it comes to relationships, guys will say,
00:09:56.880 Ryan, I've taken extreme responsibility, and nothing's changed,
00:10:00.400 and she's not seeing it.
00:10:02.000 That's not your responsibility.
00:10:03.520 So extreme responsibility doesn't mean take responsibility for things that aren't yours.
00:10:09.780 It means take responsibility for the things within your control.
00:10:13.380 And two things can exist simultaneously.
00:10:15.200 If we're using the example of a relationship,
00:10:18.300 you could have really messed up a lot of things.
00:10:21.360 I've messed up in relationships, a lot of things.
00:10:24.580 And simultaneously, she could be messing up a lot of things.
00:10:28.460 But I am not responsible for her behavior.
00:10:30.700 I'm not responsible for external factors in my life.
00:10:34.540 I'm responsible for the way that I show up.
00:10:38.640 So when I say extreme responsibility,
00:10:41.460 I'm not saying put it all on your shoulders
00:10:43.300 and don't allow for any opportunity or any factor of the other party
00:10:48.800 or external resources playing a factor.
00:10:50.640 They certainly do.
00:10:51.320 And that's a reason, not an excuse.
00:10:55.920 That's a reason for you to get better.
00:10:57.740 That's a reason for you to overcome.
00:10:59.240 Take responsibility for the things within your control
00:11:02.720 and don't take responsibility for the things outside of your control.
00:11:07.400 An extreme example of this would be if I was going to go camping this weekend.
00:11:11.360 And in southern Utah, the high desert that I'm in right now,
00:11:14.960 we're looking at 80 degrees, 85, maybe even 90 degrees
00:11:18.340 based on our current temperatures.
00:11:19.700 So if I go camping this weekend, believing that it's going to be 85, 90 degrees,
00:11:25.240 I'm going to pack for the camping trip one way.
00:11:29.100 Well, if a freak storm comes in, and all of a sudden now it's 50 degrees,
00:11:33.360 and it's raining, but I haven't prepared for that,
00:11:37.180 that's going to be a problem.
00:11:39.800 Now, I can't control the weather.
00:11:41.040 So I'm not going to take responsibility for the weather.
00:11:44.680 That's something outside of my control.
00:11:46.300 But what I can do is acknowledge maybe I should have looked at the weather
00:11:49.780 before I went camping.
00:11:51.920 Maybe I should have some resources available to me
00:11:54.640 should the weather go sideways.
00:11:57.460 So there's things I can do, and there's things that I can't do.
00:12:00.520 Focus on the things you can control and let the rest take care of itself.
00:12:04.380 Number three, effective communication.
00:12:06.920 I get so tired of hearing, and this is a social media thing.
00:12:12.620 It's an ego thing.
00:12:14.140 It's beating on your chest.
00:12:15.460 It's braggadocious.
00:12:16.380 It's arrogant, and it's stupid.
00:12:18.440 These guys who are like, I'm just speaking my truth,
00:12:21.880 and they're using it as a permission slip to be an a-hole to everybody.
00:12:25.760 It's my truth.
00:12:27.240 I'm just speaking my truth.
00:12:28.640 If they don't like it, that's on them.
00:12:31.400 What an arrogant, unproductive way to live your life.
00:12:36.920 The other one I hear is, zero Fs.
00:12:39.240 That's a zero Fs mentality.
00:12:40.360 If they don't like it, they can F off.
00:12:42.880 What an arrogant way to live your life.
00:12:46.180 It's ridiculous.
00:12:47.580 It's nonsense.
00:12:49.520 Now, sure, there's some people who don't really matter in your life,
00:12:52.720 and those people you can just ignore.
00:12:54.540 But to tell them to F off,
00:12:58.140 to have that zero Fs mentality,
00:12:59.620 to play this game of my truth
00:13:01.960 just because you don't like what somebody said to you
00:13:04.280 and you're emotionally dysregulated,
00:13:06.980 that's not a sign of maturity.
00:13:08.860 That's a sign of immaturity.
00:13:12.600 A sign of maturity says,
00:13:14.380 hey, there are people I actually care about
00:13:16.460 what they think of me.
00:13:19.520 Believe it or not,
00:13:20.380 and contrary to what everybody else,
00:13:21.880 all these man guys on social media will tell you,
00:13:23.920 is like, I actually care about
00:13:25.280 what some people think of me.
00:13:28.260 People I want to aspire to be like,
00:13:30.360 people I'm motivated by,
00:13:32.280 my children,
00:13:33.780 my girlfriend,
00:13:35.300 you guys.
00:13:36.140 Like, I care about what you think of me
00:13:38.640 because that allows me to be more influential in your life,
00:13:44.360 and I have noble ambitions to lead my kids
00:13:47.020 and you and everybody else that I care about
00:13:49.140 in a healthy direction.
00:13:51.020 But if I just marched around
00:13:55.100 and beat it on my chest
00:13:56.540 and, you know,
00:13:57.400 swung my dick around
00:13:58.420 and told everybody how wonderful I was
00:14:00.460 and their opinions weren't relevant to me,
00:14:03.400 that's like what a child,
00:14:05.460 that's what a boy does.
00:14:06.560 That's not what a man does.
00:14:08.900 And so a man has effective communication,
00:14:11.020 which means this,
00:14:12.460 you can recognize what your people need,
00:14:15.440 and then you can adapt your delivery
00:14:18.140 based on what your people need,
00:14:20.020 not your virtues.
00:14:22.080 I'm not saying to compromise yourself.
00:14:24.100 I'm not saying to be somebody you're not,
00:14:25.760 but I'm saying you're certainly capable
00:14:27.300 of being kind and empathetic
00:14:29.000 just as much as you're capable
00:14:30.660 of being bold and assertive.
00:14:33.900 A man knows how to effectively communicate
00:14:36.300 based on what his people needs.
00:14:39.040 If my daughter needs to be told,
00:14:40.880 hey, you know what,
00:14:41.660 knock the attitude off,
00:14:42.780 then I'm going to do that.
00:14:43.800 But if she needs me to put my arm around her
00:14:45.960 and say, what's going on, bud?
00:14:49.000 You seem upset.
00:14:50.160 What can I help you with?
00:14:51.420 And she gets a little emotional and teary-eyed,
00:14:53.540 then that's what I'm going to be.
00:14:57.760 And also in relationship to
00:15:00.420 being an effective communicator
00:15:03.660 is not raising your voice,
00:15:06.980 not losing control,
00:15:08.640 not being so frustrated
00:15:10.120 that you lose all sense of who you are
00:15:12.500 and how you show up for people.
00:15:13.860 Effective communication is being bold,
00:15:18.740 being assertive,
00:15:20.260 knowing your boundaries.
00:15:21.220 We're going to talk about some of that in a minute,
00:15:22.640 knowing what your goals and objectives are,
00:15:24.420 knowing what you want for other people,
00:15:25.740 but communicating it in a way
00:15:27.460 where it lands for them.
00:15:31.320 Communication is really interesting
00:15:32.620 because a lot of people think,
00:15:34.840 like, if I want somebody to receive a message,
00:15:38.020 then it's 100% on me
00:15:39.760 and 0% on them.
00:15:41.680 Or if I'm listening to a message,
00:15:43.240 it's 100% on me
00:15:44.600 and 0% on them to receive it.
00:15:46.640 Or 100% on them
00:15:47.980 to deliver it in a way
00:15:48.980 that I need to hear it
00:15:49.860 and 0% on me
00:15:51.500 to use some discernment
00:15:53.800 in what they're saying.
00:15:55.300 But communication is very interesting.
00:15:57.240 It's not a 0-100% game
00:15:59.680 or what we would call a zero-sum game.
00:16:01.620 It's a 100-100% game.
00:16:04.100 And what I mean by that
00:16:05.440 in two parties of communication,
00:16:06.900 there has to be at least two,
00:16:08.120 is that you as the communicator
00:16:10.220 have a 100% responsibility
00:16:12.320 for delivering a message
00:16:13.980 in a way that the receiver of the information
00:16:16.780 is going to actually receive and comprehend it.
00:16:19.600 You have 100% responsibility to do that.
00:16:22.700 And also,
00:16:24.080 the receiver of the message
00:16:25.800 independently has 100% responsibility
00:16:28.900 for ensuring
00:16:29.760 that they are receiving it correctly.
00:16:34.100 And when both parties agree
00:16:35.840 that I'm going to take 100% responsibility
00:16:37.960 for delivering a message
00:16:39.160 and also I'm going to take over here
00:16:41.020 100% responsibility
00:16:42.780 for receiving the message,
00:16:44.280 that's when communication happens.
00:16:48.220 But if any of the parties decide,
00:16:50.200 hey, it's not my responsibility
00:16:51.340 and that's that zero-s mentality,
00:16:53.500 I don't give an F what they think.
00:16:55.140 It's on them if they don't get it.
00:16:56.640 No.
00:16:57.540 If you care about people
00:16:59.140 and you want to inspire
00:17:00.420 and motivate and influence them,
00:17:02.440 it's on you
00:17:03.720 to ensure you do it
00:17:05.180 in a way that lands for them.
00:17:06.260 And everybody is different.
00:17:08.460 So you have to know your people.
00:17:09.900 And not only are they different,
00:17:11.180 they're different
00:17:11.740 in different moments of time.
00:17:15.160 My children are different in the morning
00:17:17.080 than they are in the afternoon
00:17:18.180 because they're tired
00:17:18.880 and they just woke up
00:17:19.720 and they're groggy
00:17:20.340 and they don't want to play
00:17:21.580 or wrestle or tickle
00:17:22.560 or have conversations.
00:17:24.500 In the afternoon,
00:17:25.460 they'll wrestle with me,
00:17:26.360 they'll joke with me,
00:17:27.180 they'll play with me,
00:17:27.980 we can have conversations.
00:17:29.560 It's different from moment to moment.
00:17:30.840 Know your people
00:17:31.600 and effectively communicate with them.
00:17:34.660 Number four,
00:17:36.060 ruthless self-care.
00:17:39.020 Men who are mature
00:17:40.140 care about themselves.
00:17:43.120 Yes, they care about others.
00:17:44.540 And like I said earlier,
00:17:45.500 two things can exist simultaneously.
00:17:47.580 Yes, they care about other people,
00:17:49.580 but they know the best way
00:17:51.360 to care about other people
00:17:52.280 is to ensure
00:17:52.860 that they're taking care of themselves.
00:17:55.800 That's your physical,
00:17:57.360 mental,
00:17:58.000 and emotional health.
00:17:59.180 And I'm not going to dive deep
00:18:00.340 into all of these
00:18:01.140 because we do in other podcasts
00:18:02.480 and just for the sake of time today.
00:18:04.580 But guys,
00:18:04.960 you've got to take care
00:18:05.720 of your spiritual well-being.
00:18:09.000 You have to take care
00:18:09.900 of your mental
00:18:10.440 and emotional state.
00:18:11.680 You have to take care
00:18:12.320 of your intellect.
00:18:13.100 You have to take care
00:18:13.700 of your finances.
00:18:14.500 You have to take care
00:18:15.100 of your physical fitness.
00:18:16.080 You even need to take care of,
00:18:17.140 and this one's controversial
00:18:18.000 with men,
00:18:18.820 the way you look.
00:18:21.440 If you look like a homeless bum
00:18:23.380 because again,
00:18:24.980 you don't care
00:18:25.440 what anybody else thinks.
00:18:27.180 That's not maturity.
00:18:28.580 That's arrogance.
00:18:30.060 That's immaturity.
00:18:31.080 You're selfish.
00:18:33.620 And a lot of guys
00:18:34.400 will be like,
00:18:34.740 Ryan, what are you talking about?
00:18:35.720 It's selfish
00:18:36.240 to just wear whatever I want?
00:18:37.700 Yes.
00:18:39.100 Yes.
00:18:40.040 That's what I'm saying.
00:18:41.620 I've got a good friend,
00:18:42.420 Tanner Guzzi.
00:18:43.000 He does a lot with
00:18:43.900 men's persona
00:18:45.700 and their appearance
00:18:46.760 and style
00:18:47.560 and how they present themselves
00:18:48.920 and show up.
00:18:49.600 And not only that,
00:18:50.220 but how they feel
00:18:50.800 about themselves
00:18:51.320 when they show up
00:18:51.940 in a powerful way
00:18:52.680 based on their appearance.
00:18:54.180 What do you look like?
00:18:56.200 Are you 60, 70, 80 pounds overweight?
00:18:59.060 Did you brush your teeth this morning?
00:19:00.560 Did you do your hair?
00:19:01.380 Did you trim your beard
00:19:02.260 if you have one
00:19:02.960 or shave if you don't?
00:19:05.340 Are you wearing nice clothes?
00:19:06.760 Are they all
00:19:07.240 tattered
00:19:08.440 and holy
00:19:09.340 and stained?
00:19:12.620 Are you wearing
00:19:13.400 like a superhero T-shirt
00:19:14.820 and cargo shorts
00:19:16.040 and Crocs
00:19:16.760 with socks?
00:19:20.220 That's not how men show up.
00:19:21.860 And you know it's true.
00:19:24.720 And the guys are like,
00:19:25.400 what are you talking about?
00:19:25.920 I can wear whatever I want.
00:19:27.140 Yeah, because you're being immature.
00:19:29.540 That's an immature thought.
00:19:31.260 And you might say,
00:19:32.040 well, Ryan,
00:19:32.420 who are you to say?
00:19:33.300 It's not me.
00:19:34.100 It's everybody.
00:19:35.800 You're being judged.
00:19:38.720 Okay, let me ask you this.
00:19:40.140 If you're wearing a superhero
00:19:41.480 like a Hulk T-shirt,
00:19:43.260 cargo shorts
00:19:43.980 that are way too baggy
00:19:45.080 or basketball shorts
00:19:47.320 down to your shins
00:19:48.380 and dirty gray socks
00:19:50.620 that are supposed to be white
00:19:51.660 with Crocs
00:19:52.600 with those little like
00:19:53.380 little things,
00:19:55.200 little charms
00:19:55.880 or whatever you put
00:19:56.620 in your Crocs,
00:19:58.040 if that's what you're wearing
00:19:59.300 and you don't think that's bad,
00:20:00.480 wear that to the next interview
00:20:01.480 you have.
00:20:02.300 Wear that to work tomorrow.
00:20:04.360 You wouldn't do that.
00:20:05.880 And that just proves the point.
00:20:08.180 Your attire
00:20:08.980 and the way you look
00:20:09.820 is dependent on where you are.
00:20:11.720 So if you're going to go out
00:20:12.380 in public,
00:20:14.180 show up
00:20:15.300 fully.
00:20:18.080 I'm not saying
00:20:18.720 you need to wear a suit
00:20:19.620 by any means,
00:20:20.520 but show up.
00:20:21.640 Put a nice clean shirt on.
00:20:23.860 Do your hair
00:20:24.560 or wear a hat
00:20:25.480 that represents who you are.
00:20:27.600 Have shorts that fit.
00:20:28.980 Wear tennis shoes
00:20:29.820 or boots
00:20:30.320 or whatever is appropriate
00:20:31.240 for whatever it is
00:20:32.800 you're doing.
00:20:33.380 But be conscious
00:20:34.720 of the way that you show up.
00:20:35.920 You know who doesn't care
00:20:36.700 about the way they look?
00:20:37.800 Kids.
00:20:38.900 Boys.
00:20:40.800 They don't give a shit.
00:20:43.200 I know because
00:20:43.940 I have three of them.
00:20:45.300 My daughter cares
00:20:46.120 about the way she looks,
00:20:46.920 but my boys,
00:20:48.400 the older they get,
00:20:49.460 I guess now that they're
00:20:50.360 teenagers
00:20:50.960 and trying to impress girls
00:20:52.720 maybe a little bit,
00:20:53.580 but my youngest,
00:20:54.620 he doesn't care.
00:20:55.320 He just wants something
00:20:55.960 that's comfortable.
00:20:58.260 That's where he's at right now,
00:20:59.520 but that's not
00:21:00.320 what a man does.
00:21:02.020 So think about the way
00:21:03.100 that you're showing up
00:21:03.960 in your appearance,
00:21:05.140 in your dress,
00:21:05.920 in your communication skills,
00:21:07.840 in the way that you show up
00:21:09.120 physically,
00:21:09.620 what your physique looks like,
00:21:11.580 the way you carry yourself,
00:21:12.900 the way you talk,
00:21:13.600 the way you hold your shoulders
00:21:14.540 up and high
00:21:15.380 and walk around
00:21:16.060 with pride in who you are,
00:21:17.420 not being overly proud,
00:21:19.060 pride of who you are
00:21:20.580 as a man.
00:21:21.780 That's mature.
00:21:23.880 Next,
00:21:24.400 clear purpose.
00:21:27.240 If you don't know
00:21:27.920 what you want,
00:21:29.060 that's not a level
00:21:30.140 of maturity.
00:21:31.300 Mature men know
00:21:31.920 what they want,
00:21:32.820 and I'm not going to tell you
00:21:33.680 what you should want.
00:21:34.600 That's up to you to decide.
00:21:35.780 That's why I use this
00:21:36.900 tool right here
00:21:38.540 called the Battle Planner.
00:21:40.120 You can go to our store
00:21:42.200 and look up Battle Planner
00:21:43.180 and figure that out,
00:21:44.080 but I know exactly
00:21:46.720 what I want.
00:21:47.480 I'm,
00:21:47.900 oops,
00:21:48.380 bumped my mic there.
00:21:49.260 I know exactly
00:21:49.860 what I want.
00:21:51.340 I know what I want
00:21:52.300 financially.
00:21:53.960 I know what my goals
00:21:54.920 are financially.
00:21:56.520 I have investments
00:21:57.600 that I'm interested in.
00:21:58.860 I have investment opportunities
00:22:00.300 that I'm looking for.
00:22:01.540 I know what I want
00:22:02.320 with my physique.
00:22:03.140 I know what I want
00:22:03.760 my body fat percentage
00:22:04.660 to be like.
00:22:05.400 I know what I want
00:22:06.140 to look like.
00:22:06.660 I know all of those things.
00:22:08.000 I know what my,
00:22:09.220 I want my relationship
00:22:09.900 to look like.
00:22:10.580 I have goals and ambitions
00:22:11.540 and desires for this business.
00:22:14.020 I know what it means
00:22:14.840 to be a good dad.
00:22:15.860 I'm not always
00:22:16.600 achieving these things
00:22:17.880 by any means,
00:22:18.460 but I know what it looks like.
00:22:22.080 And any man worth his weight
00:22:23.760 knows what he wants.
00:22:26.440 And I would submit to you,
00:22:27.840 and you can tell me
00:22:28.440 if I'm wrong,
00:22:29.020 but if you don't know
00:22:29.720 what you want,
00:22:30.480 you are actually feeling
00:22:31.680 bad about yourself
00:22:32.760 because you know,
00:22:34.480 don't you,
00:22:34.900 that you were destined
00:22:35.760 for something.
00:22:36.500 And I mean that
00:22:38.400 in a very literal sense.
00:22:39.720 You are destined
00:22:41.100 to do something.
00:22:43.800 You're here for a reason.
00:22:45.100 This is not just happenstance.
00:22:46.600 We aren't just random,
00:22:48.780 a random collection
00:22:49.960 of cells and atoms
00:22:51.060 and everything else
00:22:51.740 that goes into
00:22:52.200 the biological makeup
00:22:53.140 of who we are.
00:22:54.120 A clump of cells,
00:22:55.660 as it's so often referred.
00:22:57.500 That's not who you are.
00:22:59.480 You are divine,
00:23:00.880 and you were designed
00:23:01.960 for something great.
00:23:03.100 What is it?
00:23:03.720 You might not know
00:23:05.800 what it is today,
00:23:06.520 especially if you've been
00:23:07.260 wandering around aimlessly
00:23:08.180 for a long time,
00:23:09.140 but the better
00:23:11.600 that you can get
00:23:12.640 at identifying
00:23:13.360 even just a small
00:23:14.740 little degree
00:23:15.360 better than you were
00:23:16.120 yesterday,
00:23:17.540 man, that's what
00:23:18.380 makes you mature.
00:23:20.580 Vision,
00:23:22.300 direction,
00:23:23.880 clarity,
00:23:25.420 focus,
00:23:26.520 purpose,
00:23:27.900 passion,
00:23:28.380 are all centered
00:23:31.480 around what
00:23:32.700 do you want?
00:23:35.460 And if I went around
00:23:36.440 and I asked 100
00:23:37.260 or 1,000 guys today,
00:23:38.520 what do you want?
00:23:40.460 A lot of them would say,
00:23:41.580 I don't know,
00:23:41.940 just live a good life.
00:23:43.220 Welcome to the club.
00:23:44.020 We all want to live
00:23:44.600 a good life.
00:23:45.140 What do you mean?
00:23:48.840 Does that mean you want
00:23:49.720 to have a better
00:23:50.300 romantic relationship?
00:23:51.780 Does that mean you better
00:23:52.500 want to connect
00:23:53.040 with your kids?
00:23:53.760 Does that mean that you
00:23:54.540 want to make more money
00:23:55.560 doing something?
00:23:56.340 Does that mean you want
00:23:56.960 to quit your job
00:23:57.620 and do something
00:23:58.120 you're passionate about?
00:23:59.740 I don't know what it means
00:24:00.820 and too many of you
00:24:03.500 don't know what it means
00:24:04.240 for you.
00:24:05.400 What exactly do you want?
00:24:07.000 If you want a great
00:24:07.480 resource on this,
00:24:08.340 the battle plan
00:24:08.860 is a great resource
00:24:09.780 and our brotherhood,
00:24:10.980 the Iron Council,
00:24:11.860 which is at
00:24:13.000 orderofman.com
00:24:14.060 slash ironcouncil.
00:24:15.120 I'm going to talk
00:24:15.580 about that a little bit
00:24:16.360 here in a minute
00:24:17.860 because I've got
00:24:18.320 some announcements
00:24:19.060 on that,
00:24:19.700 but have clear purpose,
00:24:21.160 guys.
00:24:22.060 If you are rudderless,
00:24:24.000 if you are without aim,
00:24:25.440 that's immaturity.
00:24:26.460 If I were to ask
00:24:28.120 my eight-year-old son,
00:24:30.420 hey, bud,
00:24:31.120 like, what do you want
00:24:31.900 in life?
00:24:33.040 He'd say,
00:24:33.480 well, I don't know.
00:24:34.120 I'm going to play
00:24:34.460 some Legos
00:24:35.140 and have some friends
00:24:36.860 and like go swimming
00:24:37.560 tonight.
00:24:38.420 That's what he would say.
00:24:40.440 And that's fine for him.
00:24:43.780 But there's a lot
00:24:45.140 of grown men
00:24:45.880 who have a very
00:24:47.800 similar response
00:24:48.800 even though they're
00:24:49.320 30, 40, 50 years old.
00:24:51.340 I don't know.
00:24:52.800 Make a little money,
00:24:53.500 I guess.
00:24:53.980 Have a little sex
00:24:54.600 now and then
00:24:55.160 and just kind of be happy.
00:24:57.360 That's immature.
00:25:00.660 Make those things
00:25:01.440 more sophisticated.
00:25:02.720 And the world,
00:25:03.900 this is one lesson
00:25:04.600 I learned a long time ago,
00:25:05.920 probably 15,
00:25:06.560 20 years ago.
00:25:08.040 The world will give you
00:25:09.180 exactly what you ask of it.
00:25:11.620 And I found that
00:25:12.160 to be true in my life.
00:25:13.080 I've had big,
00:25:14.140 audacious,
00:25:15.140 crazy goals.
00:25:16.240 And then I've achieved them
00:25:17.320 and I've looked back
00:25:17.980 and remembered,
00:25:18.700 oh my gosh,
00:25:19.200 I talked about that
00:25:20.040 10 years ago
00:25:20.700 wanting that.
00:25:21.660 The world gave me,
00:25:22.740 I forgot about it
00:25:23.480 and the world still gave me
00:25:24.600 what I asked of it.
00:25:27.040 So if you're asking
00:25:27.880 for a little sex,
00:25:29.360 a little money here and there,
00:25:30.420 you're probably going to get it.
00:25:33.040 But that's not
00:25:33.800 as sophisticated
00:25:34.520 or mature
00:25:35.500 as it could otherwise be.
00:25:37.040 So if you're going to dream
00:25:37.860 and the world's going to
00:25:38.400 give you what you want,
00:25:39.900 might as well go in swinging.
00:25:41.760 All right,
00:25:41.940 let's move on
00:25:42.340 to the next one.
00:25:43.500 Established boundaries.
00:25:47.180 Mature men
00:25:47.840 don't let themselves
00:25:48.800 get trampled on
00:25:49.720 by women,
00:25:51.240 by their kids,
00:25:53.160 by their employers,
00:25:54.520 by their clients,
00:25:55.740 by anyone.
00:25:58.880 Mature men know
00:25:59.980 how they will be treated
00:26:01.060 and how they will not be treated.
00:26:05.300 And when other people,
00:26:06.620 whether it's a significant other
00:26:07.640 or a boss
00:26:08.280 or a client
00:26:08.860 steps over that line,
00:26:10.360 they're willing to say
00:26:11.920 because they've done
00:26:12.500 all these other things
00:26:13.160 because they have the confidence
00:26:14.020 they need to say it,
00:26:15.120 I will not be treated like that.
00:26:16.860 And they can do it respectfully.
00:26:19.480 So I'm going to go back
00:26:20.140 to sign number one,
00:26:22.860 which was emotional regulation.
00:26:25.640 Let's say you get home
00:26:26.560 from work tonight
00:26:27.700 and it's been a long day
00:26:28.720 and you're exhausted
00:26:29.500 and you lost a client,
00:26:31.460 your boss yelled at you,
00:26:32.360 you didn't get as much done
00:26:33.100 as you wanted to
00:26:33.620 and you get home
00:26:34.120 and you walk in the doors
00:26:34.920 and the minute you walk in,
00:26:36.120 your wife starts berating you
00:26:37.420 about,
00:26:38.100 I don't know,
00:26:38.640 the fact that you
00:26:39.520 didn't put the toilet seat down
00:26:41.840 or you didn't put the dishes
00:26:42.860 in the dishwasher
00:26:43.720 or you're not the man
00:26:45.920 you could be
00:26:46.500 and she just completely berates you
00:26:48.160 about who you are
00:26:49.720 and how you're showing up.
00:26:51.580 If you fly off the handle
00:26:53.480 and you lose it with her
00:26:55.220 and you lash out verbally
00:26:57.120 or even worse physically
00:26:58.740 because you're not
00:27:00.700 emotionally regulated,
00:27:01.780 you're letting other people
00:27:02.760 dictate how you feel
00:27:03.780 about yourself,
00:27:05.200 that's not matured either.
00:27:08.180 So I'm not saying that
00:27:09.220 because you can establish boundaries,
00:27:10.700 you have to be a dick
00:27:11.420 to everybody.
00:27:12.200 What I'm saying is that
00:27:13.280 if your wife starts doing that,
00:27:14.680 you have the confidence
00:27:15.780 to say,
00:27:16.980 hey hon,
00:27:18.120 not sure what's going on
00:27:19.500 with your day.
00:27:20.320 I had a pretty difficult day.
00:27:22.660 I think everything
00:27:23.520 that you're sharing with me
00:27:24.440 is valid
00:27:24.880 and we can certainly
00:27:25.460 talk about those things
00:27:26.520 but the way you're saying it,
00:27:27.780 I will not allow you
00:27:28.500 to say it to me like that.
00:27:30.200 So if you'd like to
00:27:31.400 try it differently
00:27:32.720 or we need a break
00:27:34.800 and you can come back
00:27:35.540 to me later,
00:27:36.260 that's fine
00:27:36.880 but I'm not going
00:27:38.420 to be treated like that.
00:27:41.020 If a client calls you up
00:27:42.280 and he starts chewing
00:27:42.960 your ass out
00:27:43.620 because you did something wrong
00:27:44.640 and you didn't do this
00:27:45.220 and you didn't do that
00:27:45.880 and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,
00:27:46.500 some of those
00:27:47.480 could be legitimate
00:27:48.100 but you need to have
00:27:49.160 the audacity to say,
00:27:50.120 hey listen,
00:27:51.480 Mr. and Mrs. Smith,
00:27:52.600 I know you're upset.
00:27:54.300 I messed up,
00:27:55.220 I dropped the ball
00:27:55.800 on these things
00:27:56.480 and you know me,
00:27:58.740 I'm going to work
00:27:59.400 really, really hard
00:28:00.640 to fix and correct
00:28:01.980 what we messed up here
00:28:03.820 but in order
00:28:05.300 for this relationship,
00:28:06.640 client,
00:28:07.300 advisor relationship
00:28:08.320 to work,
00:28:09.300 you are going
00:28:09.880 to be respectful
00:28:10.500 to me
00:28:10.980 as I have been
00:28:12.300 respectful to you
00:28:13.200 so if you'd like
00:28:14.800 to talk about it,
00:28:15.660 we can do this
00:28:16.260 in a respectful way
00:28:17.400 and I will do
00:28:18.340 everything within my power
00:28:19.620 to make sure
00:28:20.320 I help you with
00:28:21.180 X, Y, and Z.
00:28:22.900 Man, if you can't say
00:28:23.980 that to a client
00:28:24.900 who's overstepped
00:28:26.080 their bounds,
00:28:27.120 you're not being
00:28:28.000 as mature as you could be
00:28:29.060 and there's a lot
00:28:29.860 of reasons for that.
00:28:30.840 Some of them
00:28:31.320 we're addressing today
00:28:32.120 and some of them
00:28:32.700 we haven't got into
00:28:33.460 but that's the point
00:28:35.500 that you need to get to
00:28:36.360 is to be able
00:28:36.780 to communicate effectively
00:28:37.780 what your boundaries are
00:28:38.720 and not let anybody
00:28:39.720 step over them
00:28:40.640 and not in a way
00:28:42.540 that's emotionally
00:28:43.080 dysregulated
00:28:44.000 but a respectful,
00:28:45.340 clear, assertive way.
00:28:48.940 Like you will not
00:28:49.860 be messed with.
00:28:51.400 You will not be humiliated.
00:28:53.320 You will not be belittled
00:28:54.440 or berated.
00:28:55.680 You will not be treated
00:28:56.640 a certain way
00:28:57.460 and the people in your life
00:28:59.600 need to know it
00:29:00.360 respectfully
00:29:01.540 and you need to have
00:29:02.880 consequences for them
00:29:03.780 stepping over the line.
00:29:04.720 The client thing,
00:29:05.480 for example,
00:29:05.940 if a client keeps doing that,
00:29:07.380 you need to be in the position
00:29:08.460 where you can say,
00:29:08.980 hey, you know what?
00:29:10.820 I'm out of this.
00:29:12.940 You're going to have to go
00:29:13.740 find a different person,
00:29:15.260 a different company,
00:29:16.300 a different service,
00:29:17.240 a different advisor.
00:29:19.040 I've asked you multiple times
00:29:20.540 to treat me with respect
00:29:21.580 and every time you call in,
00:29:22.680 you yell,
00:29:23.100 you belittle,
00:29:23.520 you berate
00:29:23.920 and I'm not interested in this.
00:29:26.680 So I'm happy to help you
00:29:28.240 find somebody else
00:29:29.180 but it's not going to be
00:29:30.760 with me anymore.
00:29:31.880 That's the consequence
00:29:32.920 but you can only do that
00:29:34.320 if you're doing
00:29:34.660 these other things.
00:29:36.100 All right, guys,
00:29:36.640 let's get into the last one.
00:29:38.460 The last point
00:29:39.460 of a mature,
00:29:41.600 masculine man
00:29:42.360 is service-oriented.
00:29:45.840 As you probably know,
00:29:47.440 our motto is
00:29:48.640 to protect.
00:29:49.620 It's right over here.
00:29:50.520 You can't see it
00:29:51.020 because it's kind of
00:29:51.680 fuzzed out a little bit
00:29:52.520 but protect,
00:29:53.800 provide,
00:29:54.340 preside.
00:29:56.700 All three of those
00:29:57.720 have an element of service.
00:29:59.380 It's our job
00:30:00.040 to serve other people.
00:30:01.980 Serve your wife,
00:30:02.740 serve your kids,
00:30:04.380 serve your clients,
00:30:05.480 serve your community.
00:30:07.140 Now, again,
00:30:08.460 point number four,
00:30:10.100 I believe it was,
00:30:10.760 ruthless self-care.
00:30:11.780 I'm not saying
00:30:12.460 serve people
00:30:13.140 at your own expense.
00:30:15.540 Like, we can't just
00:30:16.420 pick one of these
00:30:17.180 and say,
00:30:17.480 I need to be service-oriented
00:30:18.360 and then forsake
00:30:19.520 all the other seven points.
00:30:21.300 They all work
00:30:22.260 harmoniously together.
00:30:24.080 So yes,
00:30:24.720 you can be service-oriented
00:30:25.880 but in order to be
00:30:26.740 maximally service-oriented,
00:30:28.460 you need to also
00:30:29.060 take care of yourself.
00:30:30.780 They work together.
00:30:32.560 Synergenistic.
00:30:33.540 Is that a right word?
00:30:34.980 Synergenistic.
00:30:35.840 Synergy.
00:30:36.400 I don't even know
00:30:36.980 if that's the right word.
00:30:39.360 But the point
00:30:39.980 that I'm making here
00:30:40.680 is that we look
00:30:42.000 to serve,
00:30:42.740 we look to provide,
00:30:43.700 we look to add value,
00:30:45.280 we care about other people
00:30:46.840 and in some cases,
00:30:47.920 I would say
00:30:48.460 we put their needs
00:30:49.140 above our own.
00:30:52.260 Just today,
00:30:53.080 actually,
00:30:53.380 in fact,
00:30:53.740 I was driving,
00:30:54.420 I was running some errands,
00:30:55.240 I was driving back
00:30:55.880 to my house
00:30:56.520 and I was heading
00:30:57.280 east on the road
00:30:58.460 and I looked over
00:31:00.900 and westbound
00:31:02.180 on the other side
00:31:02.960 of the highway
00:31:03.700 I was on,
00:31:04.680 I saw just a bunch
00:31:06.040 of stuff,
00:31:07.560 clutter,
00:31:07.920 just like go up
00:31:08.640 in a cloud.
00:31:09.160 I'm like,
00:31:09.400 what in the world?
00:31:09.960 And I looked over there
00:31:10.740 and it looked like
00:31:13.160 a woman had rammed
00:31:14.200 into the back
00:31:14.960 of a truck
00:31:15.480 and I'm not sure
00:31:16.280 what happened
00:31:16.760 because I only just
00:31:17.380 saw the cloud
00:31:17.900 and that's all I saw.
00:31:19.460 But I turned around.
00:31:22.680 I stopped,
00:31:24.240 I got in a good spot,
00:31:25.220 I turned around,
00:31:25.840 I went back over there
00:31:26.640 because I was going to help.
00:31:29.300 I would assume
00:31:30.580 because I just took
00:31:31.380 a quick glance
00:31:32.020 and I don't know
00:31:32.520 the situation
00:31:33.120 but it looks like
00:31:33.800 she was an elderly woman
00:31:34.760 so I'm not sure
00:31:35.480 if she had,
00:31:36.180 you know,
00:31:37.660 a lapse
00:31:39.020 in brain function
00:31:41.900 or something
00:31:42.360 and I'm not saying
00:31:42.860 that negatively,
00:31:43.700 it just seems like
00:31:44.760 something happened there.
00:31:45.720 That was my initial thought.
00:31:47.580 So I stopped
00:31:48.440 and I turned around
00:31:49.260 and I got over there
00:31:50.920 and when I got over there,
00:31:53.100 there was already
00:31:53.660 three people
00:31:54.300 who had stopped
00:31:54.960 and there was
00:31:56.540 a undercover
00:31:58.040 unmarked
00:31:59.600 pickup truck
00:32:00.400 that happened
00:32:00.880 to be a police officer
00:32:02.260 and he had turned
00:32:03.440 around behind me.
00:32:04.160 I saw him turn around
00:32:04.760 behind me
00:32:05.200 and he pulled in
00:32:05.800 and he was there
00:32:06.360 and by the time
00:32:07.280 I got there,
00:32:07.760 there was three
00:32:08.140 or four people there
00:32:08.980 including a police officer.
00:32:10.600 At that point,
00:32:11.840 I didn't have
00:32:12.320 any other value to add
00:32:13.380 so I just got
00:32:14.880 out of the way
00:32:15.400 but the point
00:32:17.500 that I'm making
00:32:18.060 is that I had to get back
00:32:19.400 to run podcasts
00:32:20.180 and run my business
00:32:20.880 and do other stuff.
00:32:21.720 I've got a lot of things
00:32:22.320 to do today
00:32:22.800 but I stopped
00:32:23.620 because that's
00:32:24.520 what the community
00:32:25.280 requires.
00:32:26.020 That's what this woman
00:32:26.780 or even the gentleman
00:32:27.880 who was in the pickup
00:32:28.560 required of me.
00:32:30.840 Now it turned out
00:32:31.740 that I wasn't needed
00:32:32.760 and so I knew my role
00:32:35.100 and I backed out of the way
00:32:36.080 so other people
00:32:36.640 could do what they needed
00:32:37.320 to do
00:32:37.660 but that's what I'm saying
00:32:38.620 like service-oriented, guys.
00:32:42.400 That's our job
00:32:43.480 and we ought to be working
00:32:45.500 on making ourselves
00:32:46.380 more capable
00:32:47.100 in every single way
00:32:48.660 to add value
00:32:50.240 and to serve
00:32:50.980 other people.
00:32:54.480 These are the seven signs
00:32:55.800 of masculine maturity
00:32:57.140 and as Rudyard Kipling says
00:33:00.120 if you get these things right
00:33:01.940 you will be a man
00:33:03.420 and isn't that what we want?
00:33:06.720 Don't we want to be men?
00:33:08.820 Not only is it the benefit
00:33:10.000 to the people
00:33:10.580 that we're working to serve
00:33:11.560 but it's a benefit to us.
00:33:13.640 Like how good do you feel
00:33:14.920 when you know
00:33:15.460 you fully showed up
00:33:16.900 for your kids
00:33:18.320 or your wife
00:33:20.900 and significant other
00:33:21.640 was having a really
00:33:22.280 difficult time at work
00:33:23.340 and you fully showed up
00:33:24.740 for them
00:33:25.100 and they're better
00:33:26.360 because of the relationship
00:33:27.460 they have with you
00:33:28.280 or you're coaching
00:33:29.860 your son's game
00:33:30.660 and you're fully engaged
00:33:32.080 and he feels more
00:33:33.260 connected to you
00:33:34.280 or your daughter's
00:33:36.000 having a hard time
00:33:36.900 with a bully at school
00:33:38.440 or a friend
00:33:39.980 that she's having
00:33:40.560 an argument with
00:33:41.560 and you fully show up
00:33:42.860 and you listen to her
00:33:44.100 because you've got
00:33:45.040 everything of your own
00:33:45.840 locked down
00:33:46.380 that you can be present
00:33:47.140 for her
00:33:47.640 and now she feels
00:33:49.200 better about going
00:33:50.720 to school tomorrow
00:33:51.500 or your client
00:33:53.680 who's upset
00:33:55.440 about the way
00:33:56.380 that something went down
00:33:57.360 but you're mature enough
00:33:58.280 to handle it like a man
00:33:59.520 and instead of being upset
00:34:01.140 even though they might
00:34:01.740 still have some
00:34:02.480 frustration
00:34:03.460 they're like
00:34:03.920 you know what
00:34:04.460 he's still the guy
00:34:07.260 to help me
00:34:07.840 or you did something
00:34:10.700 for your boss today
00:34:11.700 because you wanted
00:34:12.680 him to win
00:34:13.320 and you wanted
00:34:13.720 the organization
00:34:14.260 to win
00:34:14.900 and you're a better
00:34:16.100 employee in his eyes
00:34:17.440 because you stepped
00:34:18.760 up to the plate
00:34:19.460 when everybody else
00:34:20.460 was like
00:34:20.740 that's not my job
00:34:21.800 they don't pay me
00:34:22.860 enough to do it
00:34:23.720 those are the kind
00:34:27.360 of men we want to be
00:34:28.240 and if we can dial
00:34:30.180 these seven things in
00:34:31.340 everything else
00:34:33.940 will be better
00:34:34.820 all right guys
00:34:36.260 I also told you
00:34:36.920 I was going to give
00:34:37.320 you a resource
00:34:37.960 if you want to learn
00:34:39.020 more about this
00:34:39.780 kind of thing
00:34:40.440 and not just learn
00:34:42.040 about it
00:34:42.420 but actually apply it
00:34:43.420 we have an organization
00:34:44.620 called the Iron Council
00:34:45.840 when I started the Iron Council
00:34:47.640 almost 10 years ago
00:34:48.980 it was my goal
00:34:50.220 to bridge the gap
00:34:51.060 between the information
00:34:52.060 we know
00:34:52.640 and the information
00:34:53.900 that we're applying
00:34:54.740 because we're not
00:34:56.720 a lack of information
00:34:57.780 you've heard these things
00:34:59.040 before
00:34:59.500 you may have heard
00:35:00.180 them different
00:35:00.640 or from somebody else
00:35:01.660 or maybe this resonates
00:35:02.800 more or less with you
00:35:03.780 than somebody else
00:35:04.520 has said it
00:35:04.920 this is not new information
00:35:06.380 so if it were only
00:35:09.120 a matter of information
00:35:10.060 then we'd all be wealthy
00:35:11.000 and have the six pack
00:35:12.040 and have the relationship
00:35:13.400 we want
00:35:13.880 and all the sex
00:35:14.480 we want
00:35:14.760 and all the money
00:35:15.240 we want
00:35:15.580 and all the wildest dreams
00:35:16.520 would come true of ours
00:35:17.420 it's not a matter
00:35:19.340 of what we know
00:35:20.000 it's a matter
00:35:20.420 of what we do
00:35:21.160 and in the Iron Council
00:35:22.520 we're bridging the gap
00:35:23.600 and we're creating
00:35:24.140 systems and frameworks
00:35:25.400 and brotherhood
00:35:26.080 and camaraderie
00:35:26.700 and accountability
00:35:27.220 to make sure
00:35:28.260 that you apply
00:35:29.180 these seven things
00:35:30.740 that you actually
00:35:32.360 make more money
00:35:33.280 even though you know
00:35:33.900 how that you actually
00:35:34.600 make more money
00:35:35.480 that even though
00:35:36.320 you know how
00:35:36.800 to have a conversation
00:35:37.620 with your wife
00:35:38.120 you actually have
00:35:38.920 the conversation
00:35:39.560 with your wife
00:35:40.260 that even though
00:35:41.740 you know what it takes
00:35:42.520 to get a six pack
00:35:43.260 you actually get
00:35:44.100 the six pack
00:35:44.780 we're doing a preview call
00:35:46.940 on Monday
00:35:47.480 September 30th
00:35:48.520 so this is Friday
00:35:49.420 on Monday
00:35:50.900 two or three days
00:35:51.780 from now
00:35:52.180 we are going to be
00:35:53.880 doing a preview call
00:35:54.840 at eight o'clock
00:35:56.320 p.m. eastern
00:35:57.320 for the Iron Council
00:35:58.580 if you go to
00:35:59.060 orderofman.com
00:35:59.960 slash
00:36:00.480 excuse me
00:36:01.300 theironcouncil.com
00:36:03.800 slash preview
00:36:04.680 theironcouncil.com
00:36:06.660 slash preview
00:36:07.920 you can just
00:36:09.520 get signed up there
00:36:10.340 get notified
00:36:10.880 get registered
00:36:11.520 and you'll be able
00:36:12.540 to join us
00:36:13.960 for that call
00:36:14.700 on Monday
00:36:15.560 September 30th
00:36:16.640 at 8 p.m. eastern
00:36:18.080 love to have
00:36:18.720 as many of you
00:36:19.280 there as possible
00:36:20.280 we're going to
00:36:21.160 peel back the curtain
00:36:21.860 and show you
00:36:22.300 how we bridge the gap
00:36:23.140 between what we know
00:36:23.860 and what we do
00:36:25.340 all right guys
00:36:26.520 that's my lesson
00:36:27.480 for you today
00:36:27.960 again emotional regulation
00:36:29.280 extreme responsibility
00:36:30.680 effective communication
00:36:32.360 ruthless self-care
00:36:34.000 clear purpose
00:36:35.300 established boundaries
00:36:36.500 and service oriented
00:36:38.760 I hope that serves you guys
00:36:40.480 I hope that helps
00:36:41.560 if you have any
00:36:41.940 thoughts and ideas
00:36:42.800 please let me know
00:36:43.700 otherwise
00:36:44.140 theironcouncil.com
00:36:45.260 slash preview
00:36:45.900 and I will see you all
00:36:47.340 Monday night
00:36:48.240 until then
00:36:49.000 go out there
00:36:49.340 take action
00:36:49.940 and become the man
00:36:51.060 you are meant to be
00:36:52.340 thank you for listening
00:36:56.540 to the order of man podcast
00:36:58.300 you're ready to take charge
00:36:59.680 of your life
00:37:00.240 and be more of the man
00:37:01.380 you were meant to be
00:37:02.300 we invite you to join
00:37:03.580 the order
00:37:03.960 at order of man
00:37:05.100 dot com
00:37:05.800 and be a fresh
00:37:08.140 for different years
00:37:08.740 and be more of the man
00:37:09.660 and be more of the man
00:37:11.300 you are the man
00:37:11.700 who instagram and youtube
00:37:12.460 for both of their
00:37:13.680 supporting stars
00:37:14.360 from a number and one
00:37:14.800 where monde
00:37:15.040 and peace
00:37:16.040 and history
00:37:16.300 and love
00:37:16.580 and the life
00:37:17.200 and the woman
00:37:18.920 as a chiefANG I wanted to be
00:37:20.080 to get into,
00:37:20.460 to get into the laws
00:37:21.560 if there's only one
00:37:22.140 a man
00:37:22.840 and curious
00:37:24.680 and that the one
00:37:26.420 and that's goals
00:37:27.040 and the truth
00:37:27.880 and that comes in
00:37:27.960 and that's a fun
00:37:29.800 and I love
00:37:31.580 for you
00:37:33.020 and it's just