Order of Man - 8 Skill Sets Every Man Needs to Master ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.

00:00:06.020 When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.480 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong.

00:00:15.500 This is your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become.

00:00:19.760 At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.

00:00:24.720 Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Michler and I am the host and the founder of this movement and the podcast that is Order of Man.

00:00:32.620 I want to welcome you here today. I do this every week, but I want to welcome you for the first time if you're new and welcome you back if you're not.

00:00:40.820 If you don't know what we're all about, this is a show about reclaiming and restoring masculinity in a society that seems to be increasingly dismissive of it.

00:00:49.520 And to that end, we have this podcast. Actually, we have three podcasts a week.

00:00:54.520 We have our interview show. Earlier this week, I released my conversation with Medal of Honor recipient Kyle Carpenter, so make sure you check that out.

00:01:02.440 We've had other guys on as well. David Goggins, Jocko Willink, Grant Cardone, Andy Frisella, Tim Kennedy, Dakota Meyer, New York Times bestselling authors, scholars, athletes, warriors, you name it.

00:01:14.380 If there's been somebody who has an interesting and unique perspective story to share, then we get that gentleman on the podcast and distill everything that we can in his experience and life and bring that to you.

00:01:28.580 Hopefully help you become a more capable husband, father, business owner, community leader, et cetera, et cetera.

00:01:33.760 I got a good one lined up, I think, anyways, for you today regarding some skill sets that I think we as men need to learn to develop.

00:01:40.800 But before I get into that, this morning, I was over at Origin.

00:01:45.480 You guys have heard me talk about Origin. These guys do rash guards, geese, lifestyle apparel.

00:01:51.560 Specifically, and recently, they came out with their denim line and their boot line.

00:01:56.660 Their boot lineup I've been talking about for, I don't know, four to six weeks now, it's finally available for pre-order.

00:02:05.100 So you've got to get on it very, very quickly because based on my conversations with them this morning, with Pete over at Origin this morning, they're doing really, really well.

00:02:14.080 So you need to get on it quickly because they're going to be backed up before too long and probably shut that down.

00:02:18.460 And I also, this morning, did one thing. I jumped on their website and I wanted to just make sure that our discount that we have available for Order of Man listeners applies to not only their supplements that are partnered up with Jocko and their geese and rash guards, but also their denim and their boots.

00:02:36.320 And I can confirm as of this morning that the discount code, ORDER, O-R-D-E-R, works for everything.

00:02:43.300 So if you pick up a pair of boots, you're going to get that discount on those boots as well.

00:02:46.800 Head to originmaine.com. Originmaine.com is in the state main and click on the boots, find a pair that you like.

00:02:55.820 I have the bison boots specifically. You can check those out. You can change the soles and the eyelets and the laces and some other customization features, and then use the code ORDER, O-R-D-E-R, at checkout, and you'll get your discount there.

00:03:07.900 All right, guys, let's get into this discussion today.

00:03:12.120 Today, about almost five years ago now, I made a video, one of my very first videos on YouTube.

00:03:19.660 And by the way, if you're not following us on YouTube, if you're listening, you probably, you may not be.

00:03:24.680 It's at youtube.com slash order of man.

00:03:26.960 If you're watching this video now, obviously you are connected with us on YouTube.

00:03:30.260 Regardless, I did a video, like I said, roughly five years ago, and I titled it Eight Skillsets Every Man Needs to Master.

00:03:38.700 And then I did another video several years ago called Nine Skillsets Every Man Needs to Master.

00:03:43.400 That first one that we released, I want to say it has just about 600,000 views, which is pretty amazing.

00:03:52.240 It's pretty incredible that that many people have seen it, and there's been some debate as to whether they agree with it or not.

00:03:58.280 But I was really curious, if I were to go back now, knowing what I know five years later, would I say the same things about skill sets that men need to master?

00:04:08.500 And surprisingly, maybe not surprisingly, but interestingly enough, most of the skill sets that I went through were very similar to what I believe now.

00:04:18.240 And that's what I wanted to share with you today.

00:04:19.760 Okay, this isn't an exhaustive list.

00:04:22.420 It is titled Eight Skillsets That Every Man Needs to Master.

00:04:26.000 I realized that the likelihood of us actually becoming a master in these skill sets is maybe not even possible.

00:04:33.500 I mean, what is a master?

00:04:35.020 It's a good question to ask.

00:04:36.540 But somebody had pointed out on Instagram, because I had made a post on there, and I'll talk with you about that in a minute, about these skill sets.

00:04:42.220 They said, we could just take a lifetime focusing on one of these and still not become a master, which I agree with.

00:04:50.400 But I also responded to this individual, and I said that that may be true, but the pursuit, the pursuit alone of mastery, whether you get there or obtain something or not, the pursuit alone is a worthwhile investment.

00:05:03.600 And it's going to help you lead a more fulfilling, profitable, enjoyable, successful life, however you define that.

00:05:11.120 So we're going to get into this.

00:05:12.340 Again, I know it's not exhaustive.

00:05:14.420 I've isolated eight skill sets.

00:05:16.500 I believe that every man should master and should work towards.

00:05:20.660 I believe that there are other skills outside of what I'm talking about here.

00:05:24.400 So please don't think that I forgot something or this is it.

00:05:29.200 Like this is the only thing I think about when it comes to being a man.

00:05:32.320 And I've got some bonus skill sets as well, based on some feedback on Instagram, because I had made this post on Instagram yesterday.

00:05:40.360 By the way, if you're not following over there, make sure you do at Ryan Mickler.

00:05:45.240 My last name is spelled M-I-C-H-L-E-R.

00:05:48.940 Very, very active over on Instagram.

00:05:50.660 And I try to stay as engaged as I possibly can with, uh, with you guys there.

00:05:54.940 Okay, let's get into this again, eight skill sets.

00:05:57.660 Every man needs to master not exhaustive and also not in any order.

00:06:01.280 Number one, excuse me, uh, is physical strength.

00:06:05.420 It is imperative, imperative that we, as men learn to get strong.

00:06:08.960 Now, I don't know what it is about some guys, but they just want to create all the little exceptions and find all the little places where it's not, you know, it doesn't apply.

00:06:18.560 I realize that maybe physical strength isn't as important as it once was, but you are going to be a more capable man when you're strong.

00:06:25.260 Now, bottom line, now I'm going to probably have people say, well, what about guys who are injured or disabled?

00:06:30.500 That doesn't absolve them of the responsibility to be physically strong.

00:06:36.160 Now they may not be as strong as somebody else.

00:06:38.100 They may not necessarily be as physically capable as somebody else, but that doesn't mean that they can't improve themselves.

00:06:44.220 And it's not about comparison to other individuals.

00:06:46.500 It's about comparison to yourself and who you were 24 hours ago.

00:06:50.820 So continue to make yourself strong.

00:06:52.800 David Gilmore in a book called manhood in the making.

00:06:56.440 If you want a good book, that's a good book.

00:06:58.600 It is pretty detailed.

00:07:00.880 It's not very anecdotal.

00:07:02.300 It's more scientific and a lot more detailed.

00:07:05.700 But if you're interested, it's a great book on generally and throughout most of cultures and all of history, what it has actually meant to be a man.

00:07:13.300 So it's called manhood in the making.

00:07:15.160 He talks about the difference, the distinction between being a good man and being good at being a man.

00:07:22.780 A lot of you guys are familiar with Jack Donovan.

00:07:24.940 He talks about the same concept and the distinction between, again, a good man and being good at being a man.

00:07:30.500 When I look at what it means to be a good man, I think we're talking more about the morality of a man.

00:07:38.140 That's what it means to be a good man.

00:07:39.880 But morality doesn't necessarily translate over into capability, which is what it means to be good at being a man.

00:07:48.580 So you can have a moral man who is completely incapable and he might be a good human being, but he's not good at being a man.

00:07:56.040 I hope that distinction makes sense.

00:07:57.300 On the other side of things, you can have a man who is good at being a man, but he's missing the morality component.

00:08:05.260 He's missing the good man component.

00:08:07.240 So I think you should have both.

00:08:08.740 You should definitely be working towards both.

00:08:10.720 But to me, it's undeniable that somebody who is fit, somebody who is strong, somebody who is conditioned,

00:08:18.880 somebody who really cares about the body they have and is tuning that body is going to be more capable.

00:08:27.260 He's going to have more energy.

00:08:28.740 He's going to have more excitement and passion and opportunities.

00:08:35.100 He's going to have more stamina.

00:08:36.840 Like it's just, it's going to be better whether he's at work or in a relationship or any facet of life.

00:08:42.280 So what I would suggest is that you find a way to become physically strong.

00:08:46.760 Now, this isn't a podcast about the best way to do that.

00:08:49.420 There's an infinite number of ways to do that, but ultimately you should be training.

00:08:53.780 You should be strength training.

00:08:55.380 Yes, you're going to want to do conditioning and other things as well.

00:08:57.760 And you have other things that you're excited about and I get it, but you should be strength training.

00:09:01.740 You should be lifting heavy things, putting them down and then lifting them back up again.

00:09:05.960 I use Sorenex a lot.

00:09:08.400 They make some amazing exercise equipment.

00:09:12.120 I've used starting strength in the past who does, they do a phenomenal job.

00:09:16.260 I've been heavily, heavily involved in CrossFit for the past five years or so.

00:09:20.700 So many different ways to do it.

00:09:22.320 Again, I'm not debating which is the best.

00:09:25.640 I'm just telling you, we've got to get physically strong.

00:09:28.540 There's all sorts of opportunities and circumstances which may arise in which

00:09:32.400 we'll need to be physically strong and people will look at us for that strength.

00:09:35.480 Number two is learning to be an assertive communicator.

00:09:38.980 You've got to be an assertive communicator.

00:09:40.700 I've talked about this, I think at length in the past, but there's four primary modes of communication.

00:09:48.040 There's an aggressive communicator.

00:09:51.180 There's a passive communicator.

00:09:54.320 There's the passive aggressive communicator.

00:09:57.380 And then ultimately the highest tier of communication, which is assertive communication. 1.00

00:10:02.520 The aggressive communicator is the jerk. 1.00

00:10:04.740 He's the a-hole. 1.00

00:10:05.860 He's the guy that nobody likes. 0.54

00:10:07.200 He railroads, he bullies, he pushes people over and yeah, he might get the job done, 0.58

00:10:11.240 but he leaves a wake of collateral damage in his path and usually will only experience

00:10:16.960 results short term until people catch on to him.

00:10:19.680 They realize they don't like this individual and no longer want to be led by this individual

00:10:23.380 and who this person is.

00:10:24.680 On the other side of the spectrum, you have the passive communicator. 0.98

00:10:28.100 This is the wimp. 0.83

00:10:29.040 This is the weenie. 0.92

00:10:29.720 This is maybe even the nice guy, the quote unquote nice guy.

00:10:33.520 Robert Glover wrote a book called No More Mr. Nice Guy, which I highly recommend.

00:10:37.880 By the way, guys, I'm going to give you a lot of resources today.

00:10:40.000 So just have your notepads handy or come back and check this out.

00:10:43.160 But a great book is called No More Mr. Nice Guy.

00:10:47.000 Talks about not being the nice guy.

00:10:49.620 Being a nice human, but the nice guy is different.

00:10:52.320 He gets friend zoned, he's railroaded, he's pushed around, he's bullied, his opinion doesn't

00:10:58.080 matter if he shares it at all.

00:10:59.540 He's a people pleaser.

00:11:00.580 He wants everybody to be happy and he's not willing to take care of himself.

00:11:04.120 Now, the passive aggressive communicator is really a, he's a bit of both, right?

00:11:13.780 But he's disguising.

00:11:15.680 He probably falls more in line with the aggressive person, but he's disguising it as, as being

00:11:22.100 nice, right?

00:11:23.060 He's, he's not, he knows that he shouldn't be the a-hole. 1.00

00:11:25.640 So what does he do?

00:11:26.700 He uses humor and sarcasm to take that edge off, but it really just ends up coming back 0.79

00:11:34.160 as manipulative and condescending and arrogant. 0.80

00:11:38.140 Now, I'm not saying we can't have fun and we can't tell jokes and we can't push each

00:11:43.180 other around and, and, and, and, and mock each other to a degree.

00:11:46.300 If it comes from the right place, that's not what I'm suggesting.

00:11:48.280 But I am saying that if you are the type of guy who can't take anything seriously, who

00:11:53.520 can't make straight comments to an individual has to do it underhandedly or around their back

00:11:58.840 or take little pop shots, that's a pretty good indicator that you're not being assertive.

00:12:04.640 You're being passive aggressive and it's not effective way of communication.

00:12:08.900 Now, the fourth, and what I would consider the elevated tier of communication is assertive.

00:12:13.540 This is a man who knows what he wants.

00:12:15.620 He's willing to communicate that to individuals.

00:12:18.400 He's not so concerned with other, what other people think of them.

00:12:21.980 He can share his thoughts and ideas.

00:12:23.960 Even if people don't agree, he doesn't throw temper tantrums or have meltdowns or think that

00:12:28.700 he's being persecuted just because somebody happens to contradict what he says.

00:12:32.240 He takes new ideas and new inputs, but ultimately he speaks his mind and he shares what needs

00:12:38.760 to be shared from his vantage point.

00:12:40.620 It's, it's a much more effective way to communicate with people.

00:12:44.040 It's not always comfortable, especially if you're moving from a passive to an assertive,

00:12:49.040 but it's a very, very powerful way to communicate with individuals to get what you want and to

00:12:55.060 help other people get what they want as well.

00:12:57.200 Uh, what you want and what other people want is it's not mutually exclusive and in a lot

00:13:03.160 of ways they can actually align perfectly, but you need to be an assertive communicator

00:13:07.160 in order for that to happen.

00:13:08.400 Uh, another resource I'll give you again, get your notepads out for this one.

00:13:12.200 Cause I'm going to give you a lot of resources is the assertiveness workbook.

00:13:15.700 So if you recognize that you are an a-hole and nobody likes you assertiveness workbook, 0.92

00:13:20.800 if you recognize that you can't share your opinion or you're afraid to, or people railroad

00:13:25.080 you or talk over you assertiveness workbook, this is how we move into assertive communication.

00:13:30.100 Number three, self-defense.

00:13:32.200 Initially I put martial arts down here and martial arts is a component of it, but I wanted

00:13:36.800 to broaden it out.

00:13:37.780 So I think that you should be making yourself into a weapon of sorts.

00:13:43.560 You should be training your body and your mind in order to protect not only yourself,

00:13:48.420 but to protect those you have a responsibility for, whether that's your family or your coworkers,

00:13:53.860 your neighbors, potentially even complete strangers.

00:13:56.700 You should be training your mind, your body, your, your, whatever, every, every aspect, your

00:14:02.940 intellect, your, every part of you should be trained towards self-defense.

00:14:06.760 Now we talk a lot about one of the core tenants of being a man is that of a protector.

00:14:11.680 Well, you can't be a protector if you don't know how to defend yourself and other people.

00:14:16.160 And what I've seen a lot of men do is they believe that if something goes down, if it hits

00:14:23.080 the fan, that somehow they'll miraculously turn into this superhero.

00:14:28.480 And it's not the case.

00:14:30.180 There's a quote by, I think it was Epictetus.

00:14:33.840 I might be off on that, but he says, we don't rise to the level of our expectation.

00:14:38.280 We fall to the level of our training.

00:14:41.180 So if you aren't training your body in martial arts, if you aren't learning how to handle

00:14:46.660 a firearm, this is actually a big one.

00:14:48.780 If you own a firearm, but don't train with it regularly, you might actually become a liability

00:14:54.620 as opposed to the asset that you're supposed to be.

00:14:57.480 You need to train yourself in physical altercations, in natural disasters, and things that might come

00:15:04.840 up that you need, again, to protect yourself and other people.

00:15:09.100 There's a lot of great resources on this.

00:15:12.000 Clint Emerson, who's coming on the podcast again, former Navy SEAL, is going to talk with

00:15:15.720 us about that.

00:15:16.800 We had Pat McNamara on several weeks ago.

00:15:19.260 We have James Yeager, who's coming on the podcast very soon.

00:15:22.680 I hesitate to name names because I'm going to leave somebody out, but go back and look.

00:15:28.240 Colonel Dave Grossman is another great resource.

00:15:31.160 He wrote a book called On Killing and On Combat.

00:15:34.640 In fact, I probably have him somewhere back behind me.

00:15:37.760 And we did a podcast with him as well and talked about the body's physiological response

00:15:43.300 to threats and negative situations.

00:15:46.100 Very, very powerful interview.

00:15:47.460 In fact, his interview, his question or his response to what does it mean to be a man is

00:15:53.080 probably and likely my favorite answer in over 200 episodes where I've asked that question.

00:15:59.600 So you should be, you should be capable in administering violence in the right context.

00:16:06.580 Again, being good at being a man and being a good man.

00:16:09.240 So a good, excuse me, I'm back up being good at being a man, somebody like that could administer

00:16:15.840 violence.

00:16:16.320 But if you don't have the good man, the morality part figured out, you probably ought to work

00:16:19.840 on that as well.

00:16:20.640 Maybe that's a bonus.

00:16:21.700 So that was number three, self-defense, uh, specifically with regards to martial arts.

00:16:25.700 I like jujitsu.

00:16:26.980 I'm not going to get into a debate about which is the best martial art.

00:16:30.800 They all have their validity and being well-rounded is probably going to serve you best.

00:16:35.760 So maybe that's Muay Thai.

00:16:36.860 Maybe that's boxing and wrestling and karate and jujitsu, but learning the arts of administering

00:16:45.180 violence.

00:16:45.580 And then of course the self-control and restraint that comes with it as well.

00:16:48.560 And I'll talk about that here in a little bit.

00:16:50.380 Uh, number four, emotional resilience.

00:16:53.580 I have seen so many videos lately of men, uh, males, we'll say males, males who cannot

00:17:04.100 control their emotions.

00:17:06.420 They're, they're emotional.

00:17:08.620 I should say they're overly emotional.

00:17:10.600 They allow their emotions to control and dictate their behaviors.

00:17:15.400 Typically not in the best way possible that, that doesn't help them or anybody else.

00:17:19.820 Uh, they, they cower, they get completely railroaded by the smallest of circumstances.

00:17:26.600 They lash out at other individuals all because they're letting the stimulus or I should say

00:17:31.980 the response of emotions to circumstances dictate their behavior.

00:17:36.160 Your emotions are an indicator.

00:17:38.780 I've talked about this at length.

00:17:40.120 They're an indicator of something that's working and something that maybe is not working.

00:17:44.960 You don't need to be overly emotional.

00:17:48.860 You don't need to, the new age thinking is be a hundred percent vulnerable and exhibit

00:17:54.180 all of your emotions.

00:17:55.580 No.

00:17:56.220 Are there times?

00:17:57.500 Sure.

00:17:57.960 But there's also times where you need to suck it up.

00:18:00.520 You need to not display those emotions.

00:18:03.180 You need to strive to understand those emotions and then drive forward in the best way possible

00:18:07.680 using the indicator of emotions as a metric, a metric, not the only metric.

00:18:13.680 So if you're angry and that's the only stimulus you're using to respond, you're probably not

00:18:20.120 taking in all the input that you could.

00:18:22.220 There's also reasoning and logic that you probably ought to take into consideration.

00:18:27.640 Uh, a great resource on this would be stoicism.

00:18:31.880 Uh, I've had two, potentially even three.

00:18:35.700 I can't remember right off hand, two interviews, maybe three with Ryan holiday.

00:18:39.560 He wrote a book called obstacle is the way ego is the enemy and stillness is the key.

00:18:45.480 And then a fourth book called, uh, the daily stoic, all great resources.

00:18:49.660 If you want to go back to the source, then you probably ought to read Marcus Aurelius's

00:18:55.040 meditations.

00:18:56.160 That is a classic.

00:18:58.920 That is a book that I recommend that every man read.

00:19:01.700 Um, I have 10 on that list and that is definitely on that list.

00:19:06.240 Marcus Aurelius meditations get introduced to the idea of stoicism.

00:19:10.260 I'll tell you this.

00:19:11.500 Stoicism is not the suppression or absence of emotions.

00:19:15.420 It's a quest to understand and then respond accordingly.

00:19:21.600 Number five.

00:19:23.480 Now this is my background.

00:19:24.660 It's financial acumen.

00:19:26.080 If you don't understand how the resource of money works, you're going to have a hard

00:19:30.720 time creating fulfillment, creating wealth, creating sustainability, offering services

00:19:35.560 in a market, uh, adding value in economies.

00:19:38.480 You need to understand how this little green piece of paper we call money works.

00:19:42.740 You need to understand how to make it.

00:19:44.860 You need to understand how to keep it.

00:19:46.540 You need to understand how to protect it, how to budget it, how to invest it, how to keep

00:19:51.040 it from the government legally, not tax evasion, tax avoidance.

00:19:56.100 There's a distinction.

00:19:57.020 Tax avoidance is legal.

00:20:00.120 And I believe moral tax evasion on the other hand is illegal.

00:20:04.180 So I'm not suggesting you do anything illegal, but I'm telling you that you ought to take

00:20:07.760 advantage of tax codes that are going to play to your benefit.

00:20:10.360 So you can keep more of your hard earned dollars.

00:20:12.520 You need to learn these things, uh, resources.

00:20:16.300 Dave Ramsey has some great beginner resources on paying off debt and budgeting.

00:20:21.300 Uh, there's a great book.

00:20:22.640 If you want to learn about how the stock market works called a random walk down wall street,

00:20:28.040 that's a great book.

00:20:29.640 Um, investopedia is a great place online to maybe not get individual financial or investment

00:20:36.580 advice, but to start to understand some of the terms and, and, and the, the nomenclature

00:20:42.500 that's used to explain how the, how money works.

00:20:46.560 Uh, what else?

00:20:48.740 Let's listen to podcasts, read the book.

00:20:50.760 I mean, whatever you can do, find people who are financially successful, turn to financially

00:20:55.080 successful people, uh, hire a financial advisor.

00:20:58.620 Uh, Daniel Crosby wrote a book called, I might butcher this one, the laws of wealth.

00:21:05.180 I believe it is Daniel Crosby, the laws of wealth.

00:21:07.780 One of the best segments of that book is he actually goes through and gives you

00:21:12.020 a list of questions and ideas and considerations when you're looking for a financial advisor.

00:21:17.780 So if you're in the market for a financial advisor, and this was my background.

00:21:20.940 So I agree with everything Dr.

00:21:22.580 Crosby said in this, uh, pick up that book, Dr.

00:21:25.480 Daniel Crosby.

00:21:26.460 I believe again, it's called the laws of wealth or something like that.

00:21:30.460 You'll find it.

00:21:31.000 Daniel Crosby, the laws of wealth.

00:21:32.860 And, uh, you'll be able to make a more informed, more accurate decision on, on who you hire regarding

00:21:38.440 your, your financial planner.

00:21:40.340 That's number five.

00:21:41.900 Number six, effective networking.

00:21:44.740 You don't make decisions in a vacuum and everything that you've created in your life

00:21:48.840 is not solely due to what you have done.

00:21:53.700 There has been somebody else in your path, a father, a mother, a mentor, a coach, a counselor,

00:22:01.340 a teacher, a friend, a business partner, somebody in your life has helped you accomplish what

00:22:09.060 you have and no opportunity will present itself without a connection to another human being.

00:22:15.040 Now I have been very, very fortunate in that we've got this podcast and through the podcast,

00:22:21.240 I've been able to network with and meet some of the most phenomenal successful men on the

00:22:29.280 planet. Now, not all of you are going to start a podcast and I'm not suggesting that you do,

00:22:34.600 but I am suggesting that you learn how to network. And I'm not talking about going to sleazy and cheesy

00:22:40.440 networking meetings. Some of those have some validity and importance and relevance to them.

00:22:45.900 I'm just talking about learning how to connect and relate with other individuals, ultimately

00:22:51.600 learning how to serve other people in a way that's meaningful for them and helping those people

00:22:56.560 win. In fact, like I said, I was at origin factory earlier this morning. I was talking with Pete and

00:23:03.760 he had invited somebody who I introduced him to. And I have no gain from that, but it was an opportunity

00:23:11.880 for me to help these two individuals get connected. And they're both going to win and succeed because

00:23:17.040 of that. And the world famous Zig Ziglar says, if you help enough people get what they want,

00:23:23.900 you will inevitably get what it is you want. So I've prided myself on learning how to create

00:23:31.660 relationships, learning how to serve other individuals, how to find out what it is they're

00:23:36.260 after, and then be the mediator for lack of a better term between what this individual wants

00:23:42.600 and then the resource they need to have it. And I make introductions like that because I enjoy

00:23:47.560 networking. I enjoy seeing my connections and my friends win. And that requires me knowing what people

00:23:52.880 want, what they're after having other connections that I can make introductions to. And, uh, it's been

00:23:58.580 a very, very powerful way to Excel. Yeah. I feel fulfilled, but I also success Excel because these

00:24:04.860 friends, these acquaintances, and these networking connections, they want me to win too. It's reciprocal.

00:24:11.460 So you don't have to be the sleazy car salesman guy. It's not what I'm suggesting. You don't have to

00:24:16.500 hand your card out to every individual who might actually buy something from you. That's not networking.

00:24:21.220 Okay. That's sleazy sales tactics. Networking is finding other people who you can help figuring out

00:24:27.920 how you can help them and then giving them that opportunity period. That's all networking is.

00:24:33.900 And I've been able to make some great connections. And because of those great connections,

00:24:37.620 we've accelerated very, very quickly within order of man. And I met my wife and, uh, name it any

00:24:44.300 opportunity that I've had. My, my other businesses have come because of the networking, the ability to

00:24:49.140 connect with successful people. Uh, number seven. So six again was effective networking. Number seven

00:24:54.860 is physical presence. Now, initially when you hear physical presence, you might think that I'm just

00:25:01.340 talking about being present in the moment and being aware and situationally aware of what's going on

00:25:06.120 around you being present. Of course, all of that stuff is very, very important, but there's another

00:25:11.020 dynamic to this and this dynamic. It's something that gets overlooked quite a bit because, well,

00:25:18.460 I don't know necessarily why it is. Let me tell you what it is. It is your ability to present yourself

00:25:24.780 in a, in an effective way. It's the way you look. It's the things that you wear. It's the way that you

00:25:31.580 carry yourself. It's like keeping your shoulders back and having your chest out and making eye to eye

00:25:36.460 contact and shaking somebody's hand properly. This presence, this awareness of yourself and how

00:25:43.200 you're portraying yourself to other people is very, very important. And I'm not suggesting you

00:25:48.140 manipulate it. And I'm not even suggesting that you fake it till you make it, but you ought to be very,

00:25:53.100 very aware of the message, the nonverbal message that you're sending out into the world. When you walk

00:25:59.760 into a room or when you shake somebody's hand for the first time, or when you make eye contact with

00:26:04.660 that individual, or when somebody looks at you, what do they think about you? What messages are

00:26:10.380 you sending out without having to say anything? And the sooner you can figure that out and move in

00:26:15.020 the direction that you want to move, the better off you're going to be. Now people will say, well,

00:26:19.500 real men don't care about how they look. That's not true at all. I've got a great friend called

00:26:24.200 Tanner Guzzi. His name is Tanner Guzzi, uh, who, uh, talks a lot about, uh, style and not only style,

00:26:32.960 but the psychology of style. And one of the things that he does a series on is real men,

00:26:39.680 quote unquote, real men don't care about how they look. And he shows all of these men throughout all

00:26:43.840 of time and history and how, what they wore and why they wore it and what they were adorned with

00:26:48.920 and what it signified. Uh, and he has said that in that series, the, the men who seem to care most

00:26:56.700 about what they're wearing is the warrior class. And it's the war. The reason I think it is,

00:27:03.000 and we've talked a little bit about this, Tanner and I is because warriors know the true cost of

00:27:10.160 battle. They're intimately familiar with the cost of engaging in war. And because of that,

00:27:16.820 they would rather posture. This is my hypothesis. Anyways, they'd rather posture and prevent

00:27:23.500 rather than get themselves into battle because they understand that cost. And so they'll do things,

00:27:30.000 they'll say things, they'll wear things, and they'll communicate verbally and non-verbally

00:27:34.220 how powerful they are. Uh, how capable they are is that show of might in a way so that they can avoid

00:27:42.540 confrontation. Now we can take that evolutionary hardwiring and psychology and apply it to modern

00:27:50.660 times. If you look attractive people, both men and women get more opportunities, more opportunities

00:27:56.940 with the opposite sex, more opportunities for promotions and jobs. They make more money. And 1.00

00:28:01.600 you can think, well, that's not fair. You can think about real men don't care about how they look. You

00:28:05.180 can do all of that. That's fine. You can play that game. It's just not reality. So your feelings

00:28:11.120 don't really matter in the case. The reality is that the way you look and the way you present yourself

00:28:16.660 matters. It's big volumes to individuals and you can ignore it and you can play ignorant to it,

00:28:23.360 or you can recognize it and use it as a tool. Just the way a carpenter would use a hammer to build a

00:28:30.460 house. You can use your presence and the way that you're non-verbally communicating with other

00:28:36.460 individuals as a tool and a benefit to help you accomplish more and produce effective outcomes for

00:28:43.940 you and other people. If you want a great resource on this, I would definitely follow Tanner, Tanner

00:28:48.700 Guzzi. His last name is spelled G U Z Y. He's very, very active on Twitter. You can find him there

00:28:53.640 and follow the man, learn from him, figure out what works, figure out what doesn't. Um, we're going to

00:28:59.540 get more into the other side of physical presence in here in a minute, but, uh, that is something

00:29:03.100 that's very, very important. Something that's overlooked and quite often dismissed by men who think that

00:29:08.820 they're above the way they look or it's not important. And it is a number eight. And this is

00:29:14.900 the last one that I wrote down on my list. And then I've got four or five bonus points based on what

00:29:20.300 these guys shared on Instagram. But number eight is continual education, continual education. A lot

00:29:27.700 of people seem to believe that once they get done with high school or, or, or college, that they've got

00:29:33.280 their degree. Now the learning is over. They don't need to figure out anything else. Well, I mean,

00:29:38.440 you're, I guess you can do that, but if you're not open to new information, you're not learning new

00:29:43.920 skills, you're not evolving and growing and expanding. You're selling yourself short. Um,

00:29:50.240 I just got an email before I hit record on this podcast. And it was a gentleman who he, he apologized.

00:29:56.080 And I really wasn't sure what he was apologizing at first. And what he said, uh, in the email was that

00:30:02.360 he didn't generally agree with what I believed about masculinity. And he dismissed what I was

00:30:08.000 doing because he didn't agree with all of what I was saying. And then he, uh, encouraged other people

00:30:13.440 not to listen to the podcast because of how wrong he thought my, my ideas were. Um, but he said, you

00:30:19.680 know, I've, I've listened to you. Um, I listened to another podcast you were on and he can see how I've

00:30:26.140 evolved and how my thoughts have matured and offered that apology for not necessarily giving

00:30:33.240 a fair shake, which I actually really appreciate that level of humility. I mean, obviously in this

00:30:38.340 case, it, it feels good, but just that level of humility in any situation to admit to some,

00:30:43.780 maybe wrong thinking and try to rectify that situation. But it's a testament to the power of

00:30:49.880 evolution. You know, you'll hear people who say, you're just not the same person you used to be.

00:30:54.780 That's right. I'm not the same person I used to be. And if I was, that would be the problem.

00:31:00.920 The problem is not that I'm evolving, that I'm growing, that I'm changing, that I'm a different

00:31:06.940 person. The problem comes when you're the same person. So continue to grow, find things that are

00:31:12.080 interesting and fascinating. Uh, be curious, explore, learn, say yes to things that normally you

00:31:17.540 wouldn't say yes to open yourself up to the broad possibility of what this life has to offer.

00:31:22.260 And you'll be very, very surprised what you'll find and where it will lead five years ago,

00:31:28.600 six years ago. I never in a million years thought we'd be leading this organization and we'd be

00:31:33.760 impacting millions and millions of men across the planet. It started because I thought it would be

00:31:38.400 a cool idea to figure out how to podcast. And so I podcasted with my old financial planning firm.

00:31:44.520 I started a podcast and you know, it didn't work. I enjoyed the medium of podcasting. I didn't want

00:31:49.060 to continue to have that financial conversation. And so I pivoted and here you are listening to

00:31:54.700 the order of man podcast. After doing this now for five years, it's grown, it's morphed. It's

00:31:59.920 evolved. It's become something new. It's become better because I, I hope, and I strive to be open

00:32:05.600 to continual education and continual learning. So those are my eight skill sets. Now you inevitably

00:32:11.480 listen to this and thought that you agree with some, you probably disagree with others. Um, and I'm sure,

00:32:17.020 I'm sure that you have your, your, your list in your head of things that you think should be

00:32:23.720 included here. And if that's the case, that's great. I would love to hear that. You can share

00:32:28.420 that in the comments on YouTube. Uh, you can hit me up on Instagram or Twitter, both at Ryan

00:32:33.440 Michler. My last name again is spelled M I C H L E R. I made a post on Instagram the other day and we

00:32:39.380 talked about, uh, my eight skill sets. And then, um, a bunch of men chimed in and gave their thoughts.

00:32:46.200 So I thought I'd share those as bonus with you. I'm not going to get it in depth with you, but

00:32:49.820 just some more meat to chew on, if you will. So the bonus answers that the guys gave him on

00:32:54.880 Instagram, number one, survival skills. So yeah, learning how to survive in a, an emergency,

00:33:00.840 a natural disaster, some sort of situation where you might be out in the wilderness or find yourself

00:33:05.040 alone, or you have to get out of a situation. I definitely think hunting is there. That's something

00:33:09.260 I've been very, very, uh, involved with over the past two years. Um, but shelter, making building

00:33:15.240 a fire, food storage, anything to keep you and other people alive. Another one was self control

00:33:22.340 and then also self awareness. I think that those self control and the self awareness could probably

00:33:28.460 fit a little bit into the emotional resiliency. I think stoicism addresses both self control and

00:33:35.700 self awareness. I also think the self control side of things can be focused on when it comes to

00:33:40.960 self defense, because you begin to learn more about yourself. So I realized there's a lot of,

00:33:44.620 a lot of a crossover in these, but I thought those were worthy of consideration, self control,

00:33:49.660 self awareness. Uh, another one, spiritual strength. Uh, the individual who said this and several

00:33:55.000 individuals did say, said walking with God. Now that's something that I choose to do. I choose to

00:34:00.020 follow his path. Uh, God is present in my life and an important factor in what it is that I do in my

00:34:07.460 business and in the community and with my family. Uh, I, I'm sure it's like that for a lot of you

00:34:13.540 guys. If it's not God, okay. Some sort of higher power, higher calling, some sort of tapping into

00:34:20.580 something that's above and beyond yourself. Maybe you want to call it the universe or energy or

00:34:25.460 multiple gods. I don't know. I don't know what you call it. I call it God. That's what it is for me,

00:34:30.500 whatever it is for you, but there's power in having some sort of higher authority, higher compass.

00:34:36.960 It's probably the best thing is it's a compass to keep you grounded in reality and move you in the

00:34:43.160 right direction. When we deviate from the compass, things go South quickly. Every time I've ever deviated

00:34:48.840 from that path, things have gone South. Every time I've, I've made a conscious decision to stay on that

00:34:54.260 path, things have went well. A lot of guys say they don't want to subject themselves or put the

00:34:59.060 mercy, put themselves at the mercy of, of a God or the universe or whatever it is. Well, okay, that's,

00:35:06.040 that's fine. But these self-imposed limitations and parameters in which we operate are going to serve

00:35:11.800 you. It's the whole discipline equals freedom mentality. It just goes deeper and broader than

00:35:16.520 that. Uh, another one that somebody talked about was leadership wholeheartedly agree. Leadership is

00:35:22.440 critical. A third component of what it means to be a man is to preside, to lead effectively.

00:35:27.640 And by incorporating all of the eight that I shared with you today, I believe that you're going to be

00:35:31.660 a better leader, a more capable leader, somebody who has vision and can guide and, and direct and

00:35:39.660 cast the vision and help people get to a place that they could not have imagined going on their own.

00:35:44.940 So leadership, a critical component of, of manliness and masculinity. And the last one,

00:35:50.280 uh, and I kind of lumped these all together, but it's just, it's, it's basic handiness. So auto

00:35:56.900 repairs, plumbing, electrical, fixing other things around the house, being creative, building projects,

00:36:03.100 working, doing woodworking, working with your hands, the more, uh, that you can be handy, the more

00:36:09.160 capable you are, the more reliable you are, the more frugal you can be. Cause you can do a lot of

00:36:14.460 things yourself. Uh, but there's value in being handy. I have not always been handy. I'm not the most

00:36:19.760 handy guy now, but I'm constantly learning and evolving and figuring things out. It used to be

00:36:24.100 that I changed light bulbs. Well, now I can wire, uh, uh, uh, fan. Uh, it used to be that I could just

00:36:31.560 fill up the gas in the gas tank. Well, now I can change my own oil and I can, uh, diagnose what's

00:36:36.840 going on when I can't get the car to turn over. So we, we continue to learn, which is a point that I

00:36:41.180 made point number eight, and we get better and we approve ourselves as, as being handy. So those are

00:36:46.640 some bonuses. Again, you're going to have a lot of bonuses as well. So please share. Uh, we're going

00:36:50.300 to call this one a day, but again, let me just recap here and we'll let you get out to it again,

00:36:56.140 guys. I know this is not an exhaustive list. I get that. I'm not even suggesting that it is. I'm not

00:37:01.240 suggesting that this is all you need to know is just to get the wheels turning a little bit in you

00:37:06.160 thinking about what you should master. Number one, physical strength. Number two, assertive

00:37:11.340 communication. Number three, self-defense. Number four, emotional resilience. Number five,

00:37:18.680 financial acumen. Number six, effective networking. Number seven, physical presence. And number eight,

00:37:25.660 continual education, continual learning. So that's what I've got for you guys today. Again,

00:37:30.360 connect with me on YouTube. If you're not already watching this video, if you are watching the video,

00:37:34.520 maybe you just want to listen to the podcast when you don't have access to YouTube or don't have time

00:37:39.940 to sit down and watch a video. You can do that too. Uh, connect with me also on Twitter and

00:37:44.180 Instagram at Ryan Mickler. And as I part today, I just want to tell you that I appreciate you guys.

00:37:49.060 I appreciate you being on this path, whether you realize it or not. You being on this path with me

00:37:53.800 is helping me to become more capable. It's helping me be accountable and responsible for what we're

00:38:00.060 talking about here and every other facet and corner of what we, we address. So we'll sign out until

00:38:06.600 next week. Next week, I believe my conversation with Jack Carr, Jack Carr, author of terminal list

00:38:13.900 and true believer goes live. So you're definitely going to want to subscribe to the podcast or on

00:38:18.680 YouTube. And, uh, we've got some other great interviews lined up. All right, guys, get out

00:38:22.580 there, take action and become the man you are meant to be. Thank you for listening to the order of man

00:38:27.340 podcast. You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be.

00:38:32.100 We invite you to join the order and order of man.com.

Order of Man - October 11, 2019

8 Skill Sets Every Man Needs to Master ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

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