Order of Man

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart

00:00:05.000 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.440 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong. This is your life. This is who

00:00:17.220 you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,

00:00:22.800 you can call yourself a man. Kemp, what's up brother? Glad to be joining you again.

00:00:26.700 Mr. Mitchler. Mitchler. Mitchler. Don't say that anymore because guys are going to start

00:00:34.180 using that actually. I don't want them to. I told you what happened, right? We joked around

00:00:42.320 about having a different persona of you. Yes. Yes. That dude got kicked out of the Facebook

00:00:50.660 group. Oh, did somebody create it? Yes. Someone created one. And, uh, and then someone like,

00:00:58.840 and I can't remember who it was. I wish I could give them credit. Cause they're, they're like,

00:01:02.540 Hey, should I create one? I'm like, yeah, that's awesome. And, and, and it was, uh,

00:01:07.540 they used a different photo. It was a Brian Mitchler, I believe. And then someone made a comment

00:01:14.320 and then his reply to the comment was super negative. And then one of the moderators of

00:01:19.280 our Facebook group, I kicked him out. Awesome. Perfect. So it's working. The moderation is

00:01:25.640 working correctly. My alter ego would not last in our Facebook group. Yeah, exactly. I never saw it.

00:01:31.940 I wish I would have seen it. I know in hindsight at what I should have done is talk to the moderators

00:01:36.320 and just say, Hey, just so you know, this is more of a joke. So leave this guy, let this guy live in

00:01:41.960 here a little bit. So we can all, but heaven forbid, I mean, people, people, uh, they don't

00:01:47.280 like jokes. So anyways, well, good. I'm glad he got kicked out. Sounds like he deserved it.

00:01:54.680 We've been trying to tighten that Facebook group up a little bit. Cause you know, sometimes I think

00:01:59.860 we're at 60, almost 6,000 members in there. And sometimes when you have that many people, it just,

00:02:03.940 it has a tendency of getting off course. If you don't a course correct along the way. And I feel like

00:02:08.840 we, we went too long without course correcting and, and we ran into some problems and we're

00:02:14.100 dealing with it. So yeah. Yeah. Cool, man. Well, we got some great questions. I think speaking of

00:02:19.720 the Facebook group from the Facebook group, uh, you sent them over to me earlier, took a look through

00:02:24.080 them, um, scrub the dumb questions out. Cause contrary to popular belief, there are dumb questions.

00:02:29.440 And, uh, if your question didn't make the cut, well then, you know, we're talking about you.

00:02:33.740 Yeah. And, uh, if we do answer your question, then you know that yours was a good question.

00:02:38.020 Yours was a smart question as opposed to a dumb question.

00:02:40.960 And let's clarify, you are capable of good questions. So it's not an attack on you. It's

00:02:45.820 an attack on your question. So just change your question and create a better one.

00:02:50.040 One of my favorite quotes is the quality of your life will be determined by the quality

00:02:55.740 of the questions that you ask. And look, sometimes it's easy to say, well, I don't know what a good

00:03:00.640 question is. If you don't know, you don't know. But if you think about it, you know, right?

00:03:04.860 Like ask deep questions, ask profound questions, ask questions that have real implications towards

00:03:11.400 real things in your life. And I'm not saying ask us real questions. I'm saying ask questions

00:03:16.500 in your life, you know, like ask bosses and mentors and people who are further down the

00:03:21.500 path than you, uh, ask them genuine questions, not questions to hear yourself talk. A lot of

00:03:27.700 people do that. Uh, not where they just, they'd rather appear smart. Like, you know, those people

00:03:34.200 where they ask a question and they're only asking it because they want to appear like they're

00:03:38.360 intelligent, except for everybody knows and can see right through their crap. Cause it's like,

00:03:44.340 why in the world would that person ask that question? Or my favorite question asker is

00:03:48.240 the guy at the end of the meeting when the guy hosting the meeting is like, Hey, we're going to be

00:03:52.820 all done unless anybody has a question. And there's always that guy. Like everybody wants

00:03:58.660 to get out of the meeting. And there's always the guy who's like, well, I have a question about

00:04:03.920 blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And everybody's like, Oh, we just want to go. Or what's worse

00:04:09.480 one guy or what's worse is like, well, it's not really questions. It's more of a thought. And

00:04:14.140 you're like, Oh no. Yep. Here we go. Here we go. But anyways, a couple of qualifiers again,

00:04:21.520 not for this, but just like to help you in life is ask genuine questions. Like have sincere motives.

00:04:27.340 Like you want the answer. You don't want to just appear smart. Uh, ask open ended questions,

00:04:33.040 right? So not yes or no questions. And yeah, I mean, that's, and just think about it. Like just

00:04:40.420 think about your question before you ask it. Yeah. And would you add Ryan, ask yourself those

00:04:44.740 questions? Like totally. If they're really deep, deep questions, like having that conversation with

00:04:49.660 yourself, like how would I address this? Or what's the correct answer? If someone else was asking me

00:04:53.900 this, how would I respond? And you know, like work through that thought process on your own.

00:04:58.700 There's huge value there. Oh, I wholeheartedly agree with that. It's like, sometimes we just have to

00:05:05.260 work that out and always propose your own solutions. Right? So if you're going to ask a

00:05:10.780 question, it's bet it's stronger, it's a stronger position to say, okay, so I was thinking about this

00:05:17.020 and here was my thought. Is that right? Is there something that I'm missing? That's a way more

00:05:21.980 powerful question than like, I have no idea what the hell I'm doing. Will you help me? There's a huge

00:05:27.040 difference. One is accepting some burden of responsibility, meaning I've worked through this and

00:05:32.480 here's the best conclusion I've come to. Are there any blind spots I need to be aware of? That's

00:05:36.340 accepting some burden of responsibility versus help me. I'm helpless. I'm clueless. I don't know

00:05:41.880 what to do. And I'm desperate. That's a significantly inferior position. Totally. Totally. And I think you

00:05:48.060 use this analogy. It's like, it's hard to see the label when you're inside the bottle. Was it,

00:05:52.420 was it you that shared that with me? I like that. Um, but I wish I could take credit, but no,

00:05:57.560 no, but, but that does exist for people, but, but you can actually get a really good

00:06:02.460 grasp of, of the label. When you start asking yourself, yourself those questions and, and

00:06:07.860 having some thought provoking thought process around what are possible solutions. And if

00:06:12.620 you at least do those, then this conversation at least, or other conversations they might

00:06:17.600 have ended up becoming way more valuable because now we know that you've put the, the legwork

00:06:22.260 in that we've, you've already addressed or worked through some aspects of it. Now we can

00:06:26.200 kind of narrow our responses to something more specific. So that's true. But again,

00:06:31.940 I want to reiterate, this is, I'm not saying this for the sake of this podcast. I'm saying

00:06:36.780 this for the sake of life. Yeah. And, and I, I like the analogy about, you can't see the

00:06:43.200 label if you're in the bottle where that analogy falls short or metaphor, whatever it is fall

00:06:48.240 short is that human beings have our conscious beings, which means that we can extract ourselves

00:06:55.540 from the bottle because we want to, right? So we can, we can literally take ourself, maybe

00:07:01.880 not literally, but figuratively take ourselves, our consciousness out of the environment, out

00:07:07.100 of the circumstances and look at it from a perspective different than the one that we're currently

00:07:11.980 in. And, and that exercise in consciousness, like, for example, here's a great conscious question.

00:07:18.440 What would the ideal version of myself do in this circumstance? Yeah. Like what would the better,

00:07:25.820 more intelligent, tougher, more mature version of Ryan do if he met himself in these set of

00:07:33.160 circumstances? That's a, that's a conscious thought process. And it's a very powerful way of

00:07:39.680 projecting yourself into some future date and place that doesn't exist. And then working backwards

00:07:45.300 into making that a reality. Yeah. All right. Cool. Well, let's get into it. All right. Our first

00:07:52.740 question, like Ryan mentioned earlier, let me just say this really quick, facebook.com slash group

00:07:56.900 slash order of man. That's where we filled these questions. Join us there, join the order, join the

00:08:02.040 movement, participate as well as contribute to other men like minded men in that Facebook group. Our first

00:08:07.680 question, Tony DePaul Atano, how to deal with hate within family. My sister blames my wife and I

00:08:15.100 for the death of my father. And after many attempts to be civil, she continues to speak and act horrible

00:08:21.380 to my wife and I, my father was very sick for many years. And because we could not reverse the damage

00:08:27.500 in his body, it is our fault. He died in her eyes. Uh, the answer is just distance yourself.

00:08:36.820 I mean, that sucks. Cause you've got a sister that you, you love and you, you want to have her as

00:08:41.760 part of your life. Uh, objectively like too bad. I mean, that sucks, but you've got to distance

00:08:49.480 yourself. Like if she's going to be toxic and she's talking bad about you and your wife and

00:08:53.720 potentially undermining you with, with your kids, if there are kids in the picture or, or that carrying

00:08:58.860 and pouring over into other facets of your life. I mean, what can you do? What can you do live your

00:09:05.260 life? Sounds like you don't feel like this was your responsibility, your fault. So that's it.

00:09:13.160 Look, sometimes the answers I give and the answers that you and I kept, we talk about it, it's, it

00:09:19.020 doesn't make it like good or easy or comfortable. Sometimes the answer is the answer, but it still

00:09:25.060 sucks. And that this is one of those situations. You know, the answer is you've got to distance

00:09:30.600 yourself. That's not a good thought. You love your sister, I'm sure, but that's still

00:09:36.640 the answer. And that's why it's so powerful to get input from other people is they're not

00:09:42.000 emotionally attached to your decision making process. And they're not attached to the outcome

00:09:46.940 of, of that and the emotional baggage that comes with it, which actually gives you a different

00:09:52.600 level of clarity that you can't get yourself because you are emotionally vested in your decision

00:09:59.000 making process as you should be. You should use your feelings as a metric, not the only,

00:10:04.500 but a metric for what you should be doing. But look, if you've done all you can and you've

00:10:08.860 talked with her and you've communicated with her and you've set these expectations and boundaries,

00:10:12.600 and she's still being negative about what you're doing and undermining your relationship and your

00:10:17.200 wife and you, the answer is you got to limit yourself and distance yourself. And it's unfortunate

00:10:22.500 and it's too bad, but that is the answer. That is the solution.

00:10:26.200 Yeah. Can't change people. Right. I would bet too, that, that her frustration and her acting out

00:10:34.260 probably has more to do with her loss and probably her own personal regret than it does really blaming

00:10:41.840 you. Not that that changes the circumstance, but maybe at least gives you some power to have some

00:10:47.720 empathy and realize there's probably more going on there. And it's not as personal as it may seem,

00:10:52.800 even, even though she may even say the words that it's personal, if there's probably more going on

00:10:58.100 there and that she's dealing with some regret and she's not facing her demons and looking to blame

00:11:03.340 it on you guys. So it just gives you maybe some empathy to be able to look past that and not take

00:11:08.480 it so personal. That's the key. I mean, it gives you empathy in understanding what she may be dealing

00:11:13.720 with, but then it helps you in that this is probably not a thing. This is a thing that she's dealing

00:11:19.780 with some guilt or remorse and you are, you happen to be the scapegoat of it based on the limited

00:11:25.180 information we have. This is what it sounds like. Yeah. And you, and you mentioning kids being

00:11:29.560 involved, man, like imagine that, like, it's one thing if it's like your sister and she's only seen

00:11:34.440 that in front of you, but she starts having that kind of mentality around your kids. Oh man. Like

00:11:39.920 you got to, you got to get them out of your life. Like the impact could be horrible. So yeah.

00:11:44.980 Yep. Definitely. Boundaries. Boundaries. Yeah. Jonathan Rose, how do you balance time between

00:11:51.640 family work and personal? Uh, we talked about this in depth last week, so I don't think I'm

00:11:57.860 gonna hit on it. You know, just look, I, I realize it's a legitimate question and I appreciate the

00:12:02.120 question cause I know this is a tough one. Uh, but go back and listen to last week's AMA. We talked

00:12:07.180 about it. I think I used the analogy of a, of a surfer trying to ride a surfboard on a wave,

00:12:11.620 go back, listen to it, and you're going to get some good input. I'd rather get to a question that

00:12:16.040 we didn't just previously address. Okay. Rudy Chapman. We've all heard the old adage,

00:12:22.000 Jack of all trades, master of none. Is this a point at which this approach becomes problematic,

00:12:26.880 or is this always a flawed way of approaching things? I am one who finds myself interested in

00:12:32.560 wanting to learn about many things, but I also recognize that many of my skills are far more

00:12:37.040 mastered at this point. Some of these skills and hobbies are complimentary to one another

00:12:41.460 while others are not. Does this change the answer? Thank you guys. Uh, I'm a little bit

00:12:47.940 lost on this, but I, but I will say based on what I understand about this question is,

00:12:53.560 you know, we have these clever little, little, uh, phrases that we use. The problem is they don't

00:13:01.280 apply universally. They just don't like, right. There's nuances, there's exceptions, there's

00:13:09.600 different, you know, circumstances where something else would apply. So be careful of, of, of taking

00:13:16.260 this like one phrase and then thinking that, Oh, this is the way it's done or that other way is wrong.

00:13:23.760 Just learn from it and apply. This is why this is one of the downfalls of social media is everybody

00:13:30.720 takes things so literally, right? Like, like absolutely literally. And then if anything is

00:13:37.980 counter to that literal interpretation of a metaphor and analogy, then they don't know how

00:13:45.060 to handle it in life because it's conflicting with their thoughts. Like there's nuance guys,

00:13:50.140 there's exceptions, there's situations where this doesn't apply. Not everything is so black and

00:13:56.920 white. A lot is, and a lot isn't. So use a little critical thinking, uh, look for the solutions and

00:14:04.180 the answers in life. If something's working, look, I know there's circumstances where you need to know

00:14:09.440 a lot. Like you need to know a little, a little about a lot of stuff. Give you a great example. Um,

00:14:16.780 I had Bruce Pettit, uh, CEO and president of Leupold optics on, and look, the guy is,

00:14:23.900 he's a CEO of a big company doing great things. He's got a lot of, uh, practical application and

00:14:29.720 information and wisdom. Obviously he's very successful. And he said like, I need to know

00:14:35.420 certain things, but I can't know everything at an in-depth level. Like I need to know enough in

00:14:42.820 order to make an informed decision and trust that the guys that I have working guys and gals working

00:14:47.460 for me, uh, are, are the right people in the right places. And they're going to make those decisions.

00:14:52.320 So some things, yeah, you just need to know enough and other things you need to know deeply.

00:15:00.040 Other times you need to know broadly and you just look at your circumstance and figure out what's

00:15:05.180 going to work best for you and in your situation. That's it. You know, I even like to go to,

00:15:10.540 we can take jujitsu as an analogy. If all you know is one guard or one sweep, like you're super

00:15:18.180 good at that one sweep, people are going to learn that and they're going to adapt their game and

00:15:23.220 they're going to destroy you because you're, you're like so good at this one sweep. And yet

00:15:27.400 there's a way to, to, to defend against that sweep. And now all of a sudden you're stuck.

00:15:32.060 So you need to have a broad game and in certain areas you need to have a deep game too. Same thing

00:15:37.560 with life. Yeah. To quote you, is it serving you? Right. Is it, is it doing what it needs to be

00:15:43.860 done? And if it's not, then adjust and get focused in. Right. Right. Yep. All right. Dylan Morehouse,

00:15:50.560 how do you begin to live again while your father, your greatest role model has passed away?

00:15:58.560 Well, first my condolences. I, I, uh, I know that's a hard thing. My, my dad passed away

00:16:04.460 about a year and a half ago and, uh, wasn't necessarily the role model that maybe it sounds

00:16:10.420 like your father was, but still that's hard. You know, that's a, that's a difficult thing.

00:16:14.540 Uh, you live a life worthy of, of his commitment and dedication to you as his son. And that's it.

00:16:21.840 You know, you, you, you implement his teachings, you carry on his legacy, you carry on his name,

00:16:28.000 you carry on his character and his work ethic and everything that he brought into his life.

00:16:32.100 And it sounds like imparted upon you. Uh, and that's how you honor him. And that's how you help

00:16:38.360 him live on, frankly, because you want him to, like, you want him to live in your heart and soul

00:16:42.160 and, and in your work. And, and you want to recognize him and the work that you're doing

00:16:47.640 and recognize his hand and his effort in your marriage and in your family and the way you show

00:16:52.200 up in your career. And you do that by implementing everything that you possibly can, that he taught

00:16:56.520 you that he showed you. That's one component of it. The other component of it is find other men

00:17:03.220 who can teach you things that maybe your father didn't teach you or can continue teaching you things

00:17:08.920 that maybe, uh, never, he never had the chance to share with you or show you. So live, help his legacy

00:17:15.680 live on by the way you're, you're working and living your life. And also find other men who are going to

00:17:22.600 guide you, support you, mentor and coach you. And I won't say replace him as a father, but that will

00:17:30.760 fill in some of those gaps that he leaves behind as he's, as he's left us. So yeah, that's, that's a

00:17:38.520 tough situation, but let, let them live through you. Yeah, totally. I have the perfect example of this.

00:17:44.940 If you don't mind me sharing, um, my wife's grandmother, uh, she was, she was actually, uh,

00:17:52.800 an immigrant from France and the, the, her nickname is Mimi, which means grandma. I believe in, in French

00:17:58.980 and the way by which my wife has kept her in our life is amazing. So much that I was talking to my

00:18:09.060 eight year old, just like earlier this week. And she was like, Oh, I miss Mimi. And it's funny

00:18:14.420 because I'm, I'm like, you never met her. She died before you. Like, I didn't say this, but in my

00:18:20.760 mind, I was like, how interesting that my eight year old has a relationship with her great grandmother

00:18:26.180 due to, because due to my wife, holding onto her in a very positive way, sharing, sharing what

00:18:34.100 Mimi taught us, sharing photos of Mimi during Christmas, they sing a song that Mimi had them

00:18:40.060 seeing for every Christmas, ever since their little kids, right? Like it is very, she's still

00:18:46.440 very much part of our life. And, and my, my wife has ensured that her, how she's, how, who she is as a

00:18:55.360 mother is being driven by what was taught to her from, from Mimi. And it's, and it's amazing.

00:19:02.500 Awesome. Yeah. And we have this amazing relationship with someone that has passed

00:19:06.260 away years and years ago. That is so cool. Yeah. I love that. I love that. It's a great

00:19:10.920 example for sure. I don't tell Asia, I gave her any credit for anything. I just, no, no,

00:19:16.860 you don't want to, you don't want to go to her head and right. Us and the millions of other

00:19:21.340 people who will listen to this. We're the only ones who are going to know. Yeah. I had it figured

00:19:25.000 out. All right. Nahal, uh, Muhammad Khan. I am a 20 year old guy. My younger brother

00:19:34.460 who is in his teens is obsessed with beatboxing, but I hate it. So does my parents. And apparently

00:19:40.480 it does not secure any career for him. P.S. I live in Bangladesh and beatboxing is not

00:19:46.800 a major thing here. Like in the U S I don't think it's a major, is it a major thing here

00:19:51.940 in the U S I don't know. Tell your brother, it's not a big thing here either. Uh, how

00:19:56.100 do I explain to him like a responsible older brother that whatever he is doing, it is bothering

00:20:01.700 a lot of people, myself included, and apparently it's not going to help him in the long run.

00:20:06.300 IE no career in beatboxing. Now for everyone that can't relate to beatboxing brother, just

00:20:11.760 change beatboxing to, uh, video games, video. Yeah. Being a video game tester when I get older

00:20:20.020 or, you know, other career opportunities that may be very difficult to secure or, um, or a musician

00:20:27.800 or whatever, or artist of some sort. Totally. Dude, like maybe there's, maybe there's a language

00:20:35.860 barrier here. Maybe there's a cultural thing here. The kid likes to beatbox. So what?

00:20:42.460 Yeah. So what? Like, do you, are you even convinced that this guy, that your brother wants to make

00:20:49.100 this his career? And even if he does, like, why wouldn't you support him in that? Yeah. Why? I

00:20:54.780 don't understand what the problem is here. Like you say it bothers you. Why does it bother you? Like,

00:20:59.520 why does it bother you that he's found something that he likes to do? Like, I don't relate with that

00:21:04.740 necessarily. And maybe I'm like, that's interesting, strange, interesting. But like, what right do I have

00:21:11.100 to say that he shouldn't do that or that it's stupid or like, I don't see this at all? I mean,

00:21:18.200 he's a teenager, he's young, he's probably just doing it because he likes to have fun or it's

00:21:22.500 something. But how do you know it won't turn into a career? How do you know it won't turn into something?

00:21:26.400 How do you know it doesn't translate into, uh, maybe eventually becoming some sort of a musician

00:21:32.100 or an artist? Like you don't know. So why not, instead of like worrying about how this,

00:21:38.200 this is stupid and he shouldn't pursue it. Instead, you work with him and say, Hey, you know,

00:21:44.140 like I ran across this resource on YouTube and they teach you these new beats or whatever.

00:21:49.960 I'm showing my ignorance here. And, and you like help him, like you actually support him.

00:21:56.380 And in the meantime, you can also coach him and say, Hey, you know, like, what are your plans? Are you

00:22:01.100 going to go to college? Or what are your career aspirations? Like you can, you can do both. You can coach

00:22:06.000 him as a big brother to do things that are going to be practical and serve him. And you can also

00:22:09.940 support him in something he likes. I don't think there's, I see nothing wrong with this whatsoever.

00:22:15.860 And, uh, I, I think that there's a big problem with the way that it sounds like you might be

00:22:21.860 approaching it and your parents and you actually, if, if your parents are approaching this way,

00:22:27.740 they might be some contention and stress within the relationship. You can actually be the bridge.

00:22:32.980 You, you understand your parents cause you lean more towards your parents, but you're also more

00:22:39.000 connected with your brother. Cause you wouldn't be asking this question if you didn't care about

00:22:42.400 him. So it's obvious that you care about him. So be the bridge, like be the practical one,

00:22:47.240 but also the one that supports him and edifies him and uplifts him. That's a way more powerful

00:22:52.200 position than undermining something that might just be a hobby that the kid likes to do. Like

00:22:57.540 let him do his thing. He's not, he's not doing drugs. He's not running in a gang. You know,

00:23:02.660 he's, he's, he's could be worse. Yeah. It could be way worse. Like it's not bad at all. Like he's

00:23:08.720 doing something that's a talent. That's a skill. He's, he's probably exercising some level of

00:23:13.360 discipline and mastery. Like right on all the power to you, man. Go beat box. Like never before

00:23:20.460 tell him when there's a tournament and a competition, drive them to one. Say, Hey,

00:23:26.380 there's a competition over here. Like you should, you should join. Like I'll drive you down there.

00:23:31.180 Like support the guy, man, support him. Yeah. What's the flip side to it's like, okay. Flip side

00:23:38.780 to this is younger brother goes and decides to be a lawyer because mom and dad suggested that's the

00:23:45.300 best career. He hates it. He lives a life of regret of constantly doing what mom and dad

00:23:50.300 always suggested he do. He never pursued anything that caused interest in his own life. And that's

00:23:55.680 better. Right. Right. Like, and you know what, maybe he on his own will become a lawyer and he'll

00:24:02.660 be the beatboxing lawyer. Okay. Cool. Yeah. But at that point it will be his, it'll be his decision.

00:24:09.520 And that is different than just doing it because you told him to do it or that you were annoyed by it

00:24:15.140 or something else. So, yeah, yeah, I don't, I don't get that. But again, I'll reiterate, I believe

00:24:22.900 based on your question that you care about your brother, I just think there may be a better way to

00:24:28.300 go about doing this. Yeah. And, and, and so I can, so Khan doesn't feel like completely like

00:24:33.720 abandoned here. I can relate to this. I actually can. My, my oldest son is, he has Usher syndrome,

00:24:42.140 right? He had a hearing loss, severe hearing loss at, at, at birth and he's losing his vision

00:24:47.100 and his vision has gotten really, really bad of late. And, and originally when he went to college,

00:24:54.680 he wanted to do music therapy, right? Or he wants to do like certain things. And I'm, and as a parent,

00:25:01.500 I'm thinking, all right, you, you losing your vision, like, Hey bud, why don't we focus on like,

00:25:07.240 why don't we get the list of the careers that you can do while blind? Right. And we focus on those

00:25:13.080 items, but in the same breath, it's like, or you could pursue something you love as long as you can,

00:25:19.660 you know, it's like, who am I to also even say like, don't go for something that you can do right

00:25:24.580 now that you may not be able to do later. Right. It's like, you know, so, so I, I understand it.

00:25:30.400 Cause as a parent, I'm, I'm trying to like, you know, a little bit of a guidance and direction of

00:25:35.280 like, go after these things to do, do the sure thing that you can provide for your family. And,

00:25:39.620 and, and part of that is me saying, you know, crush your dreams a little bit. Don't do,

00:25:44.640 I mean, he could be amazing at it. Right. And even if it's very difficult for him to get into,

00:25:49.340 like, who am I to be shutting that down? So, so I, I understand the dichotomy there because you want

00:25:55.180 what's best for your brother. And that's a good thing. Um, but I get it. I don't know, man,

00:26:00.360 like I'm not in that situation, of course, with you and your son. And, and I see what you're saying,

00:26:04.700 but at the same time, it's like, okay, so like, so he won't be able to see. Okay. So he'll be the

00:26:13.660 first blind guy to do this. Yeah. That's awesome. Right. That like, that is awesome. We live in the

00:26:22.340 most amazing time in human history where the opportunities are abound. Like the risk is very

00:26:29.620 minimal and I, man, life's just too short to just do what other people think you should do,

00:26:40.680 or be limited by some sort of, uh, uh, medical condition. Like, God, I just think what an amazing

00:26:48.980 opportunity. Like I just feel, and I'm sure you do kit, but like, you'll be the first blind person

00:26:54.120 to ever do this. How cool is that? Yeah. I'm not saying you don't do that. I'm just saying like,

00:26:59.960 man, if we supported each other that way, whether it's your brother or your son or your friend or a

00:27:04.140 colleague or a coworker or a neighbor, your wife, man, life would be drastically different instead

00:27:09.540 of saying, well, you know, let's play it safe and let's be practical. Screw practicality, man.

00:27:14.760 Like you can be practical at any time. Like you'll, you'll be able to make the mortgage payment.

00:27:18.500 You'll be able to make the car pay. All that stuff will work out, but like, let's stop being so

00:27:22.980 practical and let's start thinking about something that maybe is impractical or a seemingly impossible

00:27:28.500 task is way better, way better. Yeah. A little bit more on the area of inspiring. Yeah. I like,

00:27:37.300 yeah, that's your job. Not only is it, not only is this gentleman's job to inspire, but it's his job to

00:27:45.460 facilitate and foster. So yes, encourage him and then drive him to the beatbox competition.

00:27:54.120 Like you're, you're so busy, like, Oh, it won't work that maybe there's opportunities that you could

00:28:00.500 actually help him make it work. Yeah. Or, or, and we've talked about this is like what opportunities

00:28:05.860 present themselves through beatboxing. Like maybe he'll be beatboxing and then he gets this huge

00:28:11.860 interest in working a recording studio because of it. And he would have never known about that if he

00:28:17.620 didn't do the whole beatboxing thing, right? Like opportunities will just naturally present

00:28:21.100 themselves too. If, if you, if you take the, the, the course, the path, like they'll present

00:28:28.140 themselves. They won't present themselves from a distance. They'll be there. You just won't see them.

00:28:33.400 You have to get closer to recognize them and you get closer by taking the steps and putting yourself

00:28:38.100 in the position to acknowledge the opportunities. Yeah. Cool. Barry loftus, how to successfully exit

00:28:46.420 a marriage. I asked this because it seems the majority of the posts are on cheating spouses and

00:28:54.240 et cetera. While we're all, while we are only reading one side of the story, I think it would be helpful

00:29:00.100 for men to understand that a woman should never complete you. It's a kind of all over the place.

00:29:08.420 Yeah. A little bit. Um, I don't, I don't like my wife is an integral part of my life. I don't know

00:29:16.660 that she completes me. Like, I think that's kind of a, I think that's kind of a weird thought. It's

00:29:21.980 kind of falls into the camp of like happy wife, happy life thing. You know, like you don't, don't,

00:29:26.960 don't make a woman the center of your universe. Like it just doesn't go well. Um, but that being

00:29:33.020 said, just because I believe that doesn't mean that we shouldn't be in a relationship, right?

00:29:38.080 Cause she is an integral part of what I'm doing and, uh, a big help and a support. And she keeps

00:29:43.400 me on track and holds me accountable. Like there's so much more that comes with it than you complete me.

00:29:49.080 And I want to make, I want to make my, my life circle around you. So I'm not sure how that ties

00:29:56.480 in with the first component of how to exit a marriage, exiting in a marriage. What I would

00:30:00.960 say, go ahead, Kip, if you have some, maybe I'm, I'm, I'm wondering if what he's asking is,

00:30:06.600 cause he made a point here about the majority of posts about cheating spouses that, that sometimes

00:30:11.120 in Facebook, we have these guys that are, their marriages are falling apart and they're falling

00:30:15.320 apart. And, and maybe he's, he's looking for, Hey, why don't we have this conversation around

00:30:20.400 a proper way to exit? Meaning I can be a complete man, even though my marriage fell apart, even

00:30:25.820 though someone cheated on me. And how do I move on beyond that? That that's what I'm asking.

00:30:32.060 Yeah, that's a good, I'm glad you clarified. The answer is to fix yourself. Like go, go into

00:30:36.740 Google and type in order of man, fix yourself. And you'll find two podcasts. One is fix your

00:30:45.300 marriage by fixing yourself. And the other one is fix yourself first. That's the answer.

00:30:50.360 Fix yourself, find new hobbies, develop new skills, build a band of brothers, go to the gym,

00:30:57.000 get your finances in order, work on yourself. It's always work on eat. By the way, even if you're in a

00:31:03.200 thriving marriage, the answer is work on yourself, work on yourself, work on yourself, work on yourself.

00:31:09.860 Your marriage will get better. If you work on yourself. And if your marriage is not doing well

00:31:15.240 for one reason or the other, it will either improve or it won't work, but you'll still position

00:31:21.320 yourself in a better position because you're worrying about fixing yourself, fix yourself,

00:31:25.880 fix yourself, fix yourself. All those posts in the Facebook group, the answer is fix yourself.

00:31:30.460 So go into Google, type order of man, fix yourself, and you'll find those two resources there. That's

00:31:38.740 it guys. Just work on yourself always and in all ways, and you'll be better. Everything around you

00:31:46.240 will be better. As far as exiting a marriage, there's some other considerations. I like Dave Ramsey's

00:31:52.840 input when he says that once you have made the decision to leave a marriage, it now becomes a

00:31:58.780 business transaction. It's very hard to do when you're emotionally invested and there's kids

00:32:03.820 involved and assets and businesses. But at that point, it's a business negotiation. You're worrying

00:32:11.180 about money, you're worrying about visitation, you're worrying about custody. I think it's business at that

00:32:15.820 point, which means that you need to try to extract the emotion and make practical, pragmatic business

00:32:23.720 and financial decisions. Yeah. Do us a favor. Hashtag fix yourself. Hashtag order of man. Some of you

00:32:34.720 guys on Instagram or Facebook, go ahead and find those posts and let's do some reposting. So guys

00:32:40.300 see that more often in the Facebook group or whatever social media you're using. And Ryan, I'm assuming you

00:32:46.460 would also say, Hey, this is also the answer for anything. So you're at work and your boss doesn't

00:32:54.140 do a good job and you're frustrated with how the team works. What do you do? Fix yourself, do your job

00:33:00.680 well, right? Do it amazing. Focus on what you do have control over, get your house in order, do your

00:33:06.740 part before bitching and moaning about how, you know, everyone else is not doing their, their part.

00:33:12.400 Yeah. It'll solve the, it'll solve your problems. Look, if you take about, if you take it in the

00:33:18.280 context of business, one of two things will happen. If you focus on yourself, the environment will get

00:33:22.920 better. Your boss will improve. Your employees will be more efficient. Or if you're an employee,

00:33:28.040 you'll get a new job. That's better than the one you're at right now because you've made yourself

00:33:32.760 more capable and people acknowledge and recognize that and they want to hire you. Yeah. Like, like,

00:33:37.840 tell me, here's a great way to look at it. If, if you've got a boss, who's, who's a dick or,

00:33:45.140 you know, he's, he's, he's doesn't want to help or support you, whatever. If you try to go correct

00:33:51.960 his behavior, it could, it could actually work or it could not work and you can find yourself out of a

00:33:58.500 job. Right. So there's downside. There is no downside to improving yourself.

00:34:06.420 Like there is zero risk at all whatsoever about focusing on being the best employee,

00:34:14.080 the best communicator, the best delegator, the best fill in the blank, no downside whatsoever,

00:34:20.760 no risk, no downside, only upside potential. So if we're talking about taking paths, like what

00:34:28.580 should my decision be? I would go with the high probability decision of correcting and fixing

00:34:34.460 yourself and working on yourself before I tried anything else. Now, then I can move into some of

00:34:40.620 these other tangents and some of these other strategies, but that should be the foundational

00:34:44.800 strategy because there's no possible downside or risk to it whatsoever. Yeah. And, and why don't we do

00:34:50.540 it? Cause it's work and we'd all, and we'd all much rather point the finger and be a victim and

00:34:57.180 not have to put the legwork in then, then actually say, Oh, okay. I just need to work. I need to do

00:35:03.000 my part. And so I think it's a natural tendency too. Yeah. It's ego, right? Because Kip, if you and

00:35:08.920 I are working together and the, the reason the project failed, if I can pin it on you, then I don't

00:35:15.160 risk any sell anything to myself. Right. So like, Oh, it's Kip's fault. I didn't, I didn't, I couldn't

00:35:20.400 complete my thing. Cause I was waiting on Kip the entire time. And therefore I, I, there's no

00:35:25.820 perceived risk except for everybody sees right through it. Everybody knows the reality of it.

00:35:30.520 And you end up just looking like a punk instead of a good employee or a good advisor or a good

00:35:37.260 manager or whatever, whatever it is you're trying to do or spouse spouse. Right. Exactly. Yep.

00:35:43.360 Cool. Trenton Alexander. If you didn't have a male mentor, where would you be? Where would be a good

00:35:49.800 place to learn and become a man books, podcasts, where, where it's a good place to find a mentor

00:35:55.940 order of man? Yeah. Iron council, iron council, sovereignty, this podcast.

00:36:06.120 And, and I think you have core spying communities around books around that, right? Like, you know,

00:36:12.900 a lot of the people that you interview on the Tuesday show, a lot of those guys have Facebook groups

00:36:18.060 that are tied to that book, right? No more Mr. Nice guy. And yeah. Yeah. So just look at our

00:36:27.140 podcast. And, uh, this week we had John level warrior poet society. He's running an awesome

00:36:33.540 organization. That conversation was bound to happen and inevitable because him and I are so much in

00:36:38.780 alignment with our philosophies about what it means to be a man and how a man shows up. He tends to lean

00:36:44.360 more towards the tactical training side of things. So if that's something that is appealing to you,

00:36:52.120 or you feel like is, is a deficiency or something you need to shore up, then that would be a good

00:36:56.340 angle. If you're like, well, I just, I need to be a better leader and I need to, to manage my team

00:37:00.800 better. Okay. Well, we've had Jocko on the podcast four times and he just came out with the new book,

00:37:07.120 leadership strategy and tactics field manual. So like, that would be a good avenue. And if you're like,

00:37:10.760 well, I want to, I want to learn how to like run an organization and start a business and,

00:37:16.580 and, and make things and build a business, then Pete Roberts with origin with, you know,

00:37:22.620 American manufacturing hands in daylight is hit his podcast. Like find something that sounds

00:37:28.800 intriguing to you and just like start exploring these paths and look at what we've, the guests

00:37:34.020 that we've had on the podcast, look at the conversations that we're having. One thing I hear a lot

00:37:38.500 is about mentors. Like, how do you find a mentor? It was so wrapped up in like, I have to have this

00:37:43.360 one official mentor who helps me with everything. That's not how this works. Right. Correct mentor.

00:37:48.460 Yeah. Right. That's not how this works. The way that it works is you figure out what you want,

00:37:53.600 right? So you want to get physically stronger. Okay. Well then you need to hire a strength and

00:38:00.880 conditioning coach. That is your mentor. Well, we'll like, how do you get them to mentor you?

00:38:07.140 You buy a shit. Like you buy his training, you go to his course, you go to his conference,

00:38:14.780 you buy a stuff. Oh, I was, I don't want to pay anything. Well then you're not, you don't care

00:38:20.420 about it then. Like you got to put some skin in the game. Like I hear this all the time. Well,

00:38:25.920 like, are there any free resources? No. Well, that's not true. The podcasts, it's all free.

00:38:33.220 There's YouTube channels. Those are all free. Oh yeah. But I'm looking for something more. Yeah.

00:38:36.840 Then invest in yourself. Like pay 20 bucks to buy one of these guys's books,

00:38:41.940 pay $500 to go to a course by two or three months worth of, if we're talking about strength and

00:38:47.600 conditioning by two or three months worth of, of coaching, you know, cost you a grand, maybe,

00:38:53.640 maybe less 500, 700, a thousand dollars. Okay. Well, if that's what you want, then that's what

00:38:58.060 you have to do. You have to invest in yourself. You know, you'll, you'll buy UFC fight package.

00:39:03.620 You'll buy the greasy burger at Burger King. You'll buy all the other crap that you don't

00:39:07.580 need on Amazon, but you won't invest in yourself. So yeah, you're not going to find those mentors,

00:39:13.960 find somebody who's doing what you want to do and then pay them to teach you how to do

00:39:18.720 it. You want to build up social media, find somebody who, who has a good social media following

00:39:24.160 and that teaches people how to build social media. You want to get, get better at jujitsu,

00:39:28.720 find a gym in your area and go there and buy a three month membership. If you want to be better

00:39:38.140 in your relationship, then maybe there's a guy in your neighborhood who has a killer marriage

00:39:43.340 and family and he's like, got it going on. Cool. Reach out to him and buy him dinner or buy him lunch

00:39:48.060 or invite him over for fight nights or invite him golfing or whatever. Like invest, just invest.

00:39:54.600 That's how you find mentors. There isn't like one life coach who's, and why should somebody give you

00:40:00.360 all of their time and attention anyways, without you giving anything in return? And I'm not putting

00:40:06.400 this guy on blast here, but there's so many people who think that like, like I'll get this all the time.

00:40:11.480 Hey Ryan, you know, like you're doing great things. Can, can I pick your brain? No,

00:40:15.960 you can't pick my brain. And if you want to, you can listen to the podcast. You can buy my book.

00:40:21.700 You can join the iron council. Oh, but you know what? Yeah. I was really just like hoping I could

00:40:26.940 talk to you for half an hour. Why in the hell would I do that? Why would I do that? I have other

00:40:34.600 people who are vested in, in growing and expanding who, who have committed to me. So I'm committed to

00:40:42.560 them. Like we built up a friendship and relationship and you just want to pick my

00:40:46.720 brain. Like how arrogant do you need to be to like, think that I don't have anything better to do.

00:40:54.180 If you want to, if you want to pick somebody's brain, pay them. Hey, and that look, I'm not

00:41:00.420 speaking out of my ass here. This is exactly what I did when I had my financial planning practice. So I,

00:41:04.680 I owned the practice for about nine, almost 10 years. And about, I want to say roughly seven years ago,

00:41:11.640 I wanted to start a financial planning podcast and a blog. Like I was doing it the, like traditional

00:41:17.580 financial planning way to build a practice. And I thought that this new digital media would be the

00:41:22.280 way to go. So I found this guy, his name's Jeff Rose, good financial sense. And he had a killer

00:41:27.540 podcast. I don't know if he had a podcast at this point, but he had a blog and he had a YouTube channel.

00:41:32.060 He was entertaining. He was fun. He was teaching about money. He was very, very successful.

00:41:35.660 So I reached out to him and I said, Hey Jeff, look, I love what you're doing. I'm trying to

00:41:41.360 build something similar in my practice. I have no idea where to start. Do you do any coaching?

00:41:46.000 And he's like, yeah, I do coaching. It costs this much. I think it was like,

00:41:49.980 I don't know. It was like $200 to talk to him for an hour. And I'm like, cool. Can I PayPal you? He's

00:41:54.640 like, yeah. PayPal him a couple hundred bucks, talk to him for an hour. And man, he set me on the,

00:41:59.720 on the path like that. $200 has turned into almost seven figures at this point, probably seven figures.

00:42:07.140 If I add up all of the income over the past, you know, seven years, it's invaluable when you invest

00:42:13.540 in yourself. So find people who are doing what you want to do, reach out to them. It's never been

00:42:18.700 easier to connect with these people and pay them, whether it's buying their products or paying for

00:42:23.340 coaching to teach them what it is you want to do. And they will, because that's how the economy works.

00:42:29.720 Tyler Cross, what is one habit that you have implemented in your life that has drastically

00:42:37.440 changed life? And what is one skill you're really going to hone in on and focus on this year?

00:42:45.960 Um, jujitsu. I mean, that's, I'm so focused on that right now. Like I'm all in on jujitsu. And that's

00:42:55.000 the one thing that I've done in the past eight months that has produced significantly better

00:43:00.580 results than anything else in my life. So I go three to four times a week now. Um, I watched

00:43:08.340 videos. I listened to instruction. Like I watched fights and I like analyze, like, I'm just like you,

00:43:14.900 Kip. I've geeked out on it, you know, like my, my wife and kids were gone for the last couple of days.

00:43:21.000 And at night I would just get on YouTube and I'm like, okay, like, how do you escape

00:43:26.520 side control? You know? And I'd watch all the little tech, step one, step two, step three.

00:43:32.100 And then I'd watch what he was doing with his pinky toe. Cause I'm like, well, if we put his pink,

00:43:36.040 like, you know what I'm saying? Like you get like really deep into it. And that's, that's where I'm at

00:43:41.060 right now. So that's it. That's the answer. And being disciplined of going to jujitsu.

00:43:46.540 What habit have you implemented in your life that maybe has had the most drastic change

00:43:52.980 overall? Um, that's it. Like just going, being disciplined and committed to going

00:44:01.560 because it's not easy. You know, like I go three days in the morning and two at night. So sometimes

00:44:09.060 I miss one of those for travel purposes or whatever else. Um, so, you know, three to four days a week,

00:44:14.500 it's not easy. Like I've got a busy schedule. I've got four kids. My wife needs my attention.

00:44:18.500 I've got this business to run, but that the habit of just being committed and disciplined and saying

00:44:24.340 yes to the things I've already committed to doing drastically improves my life. And you know what?

00:44:29.260 It's a very good correlation to everything else I'm doing in life. If I uphold my word to the things

00:44:33.780 that I say I want to do, whether it's jujitsu or archery or some of these other practices that I enjoy

00:44:38.400 doing, then it makes it easier for me to uphold my word in other areas like business and

00:44:44.180 uh, like I had, I'll give you an example. I had, uh, I had three or four podcasts over the past,

00:44:51.160 I would say year or so that I initially told the person I would have them on. And for one reason

00:44:56.320 or the other, it didn't work out or like, I wasn't super excited about the conversation,

00:45:00.520 but I thought in my head, I'm like, like I told these people, yes. Right. I, I, I accepted their

00:45:07.820 request to come on the podcast and, and I'm beating around the bush and not having them on. Cause I

00:45:12.720 wasn't super excited. I'm like, that's my fault. Like I shouldn't have said yes, maybe. But since

00:45:17.300 I did, like I already committed and said yes. So I reached out to every one of these individuals

00:45:21.600 and I said, Hey man, we never scheduled this podcast. Like let's get it done. And I did in

00:45:26.440 the past, over the past six months, I've done these, these four podcasts and they actually ended

00:45:33.360 up turning out really well because I put a lot of effort and research into making sure that it was a

00:45:38.460 good conversation. And I honored my word that was far better than any other benefit of having those

00:45:45.920 podcasts is I honored my word and I honored myself and those individuals because I made that commitment.

00:45:51.160 And when you do the things that you say you're going to do, that is a huge victory that spills over

00:45:59.260 into every single facet of your life. You just proved yourself, frankly, a man because you've lived up to

00:46:06.880 your word and you'll feel it in every part of you, how good you'll feel about yourself because you

00:46:13.120 honored your word. Love it. Mitchell Morshry. I would like some information on how to stop a bad habit

00:46:22.660 like chewing tobacco. I think a lot of us could help, uh, could use the help with stopping a habit

00:46:28.400 or an addiction of some sort. So there's a couple of good resources. Uh, one is atomic habits by James

00:46:36.080 clear. And we just had James on the podcast about maybe four or six weeks ago, somewhere in there.

00:46:42.260 So I would definitely look into his stuff. Uh, Charles Duhigg, the power of habit, or yeah,

00:46:47.000 I think it's called the power of habit, uh, is a really good resource. A couple of tips I would

00:46:51.480 give you right off, right off hand. In addition to what these guys will share with you, which is

00:46:55.640 significantly more than I can. Those are the two best resources in my experience. Anyways, is, uh,

00:47:01.600 number one, eliminate the temptation, right? So if you know, uh, that, that you, you want to stop

00:47:10.440 smoking, for example, and you know, that's a temptation of yours, just don't go to the gas

00:47:14.420 station because that's where you get cigarettes. So like, just stay away from the gas station.

00:47:17.980 Like, don't have it in your house. Stay away from the gas station. If that's where you buy cigarettes,

00:47:21.420 don't go into that store. Just change the store. Or, or if you do like you're driving to work and you

00:47:27.260 drive by that one convenience store and that's where you get your pack of cigarettes, like pick a new

00:47:31.120 route, pick a new route. And then in addition to that, I would say, uh, replace your habits. So

00:47:37.000 every time you have the temptation to smoke or to drink or whatever it is that you want to do,

00:47:40.740 just replace it with something more intentional that that is in line with your goal. That'll

00:47:45.160 move you in the right direction. Right? So if it's smoking, maybe it's, you know, you have a snack,

00:47:50.640 like you have some beef jerky or something, you know? So there's things you can do, but again,

00:47:54.940 I want to reiterate, and this goes back to the mentor thing and finding people who can teach you what

00:47:59.860 you want to know, James Clear, Charles Duhigg, the power of habit and, uh, atomic habits will help

00:48:06.420 you get on the path and significantly deeper than what I can share with you. Cool. Greg Murphy,

00:48:14.380 what do you do when your boss won't support you? Lost an employee due to a long-term sickness.

00:48:20.380 I've been able to keep things going, but now my boss decides not to fill the position because he

00:48:25.560 thinks everything is going fine. So workload has doubled and no additional compensation.

00:48:31.840 Yeah. I mean, look, let's think about it this way. Why would he like if everything's rocking and

00:48:40.780 rolling and nothing's hit any, and anything's come up, like, why would he do that? Cause

00:48:46.160 obviously he's like, Oh, this is actually better. Cause I just cut out $50,000 of payroll by having

00:48:50.560 this extra person. And now I don't have to pay this guy. So, I mean, you can understand, certainly

00:48:55.300 we can understand that, right? Like I, even though I don't like it, I can understand. Makes sense.

00:49:00.920 Yeah. Now that being said, I'm not going to undermine that. Like I'm not going to deliberately

00:49:07.320 sabotage my own efforts in order for him to understand that we need somebody else. But what

00:49:12.340 I would do is very, be very assertive in my communication with my employer. So Kip, you're my

00:49:18.360 boss. All right. And we just let somebody go. And I picked up this guy slack and I come to you.

00:49:23.220 Here's, here's a conversation I would have something along these lines. Hey Kip, you know, I've, I've

00:49:27.580 needed to talk with you about this. We let John go and I've been picking up his slack and I got to tell

00:49:32.080 you, I'm feeling a little bit of pressure. Um, things are still rocking and rolling, still doing

00:49:35.660 well, but I feel like with the added effort that I've put forth and the added effort that I will

00:49:41.640 continue to put forth, like I believe in what we're doing and I want this to work and I want this to be

00:49:46.080 as efficient as possible. Um, I feel like it's time to evaluate, uh, how I'm being compensated.

00:49:53.440 So I would like to talk with you about that. Are you open to having a conversation about that?

00:49:58.080 Well, I am Mr. Michler. In fact,

00:50:00.520 that is leadership material right there, young man. Yeah. I wish it would go like that.

00:50:06.560 I wish it would go like, what you'd probably say is, well, you know, we're, we're, we got a budget

00:50:11.420 figured out and we got this and that and say, Hey, you know, that's, that's understandable.

00:50:15.060 What can I do to prove to you that this is a conversation worth having?

00:50:20.260 Yeah. And you're going to say, well, I'd really need to see X, Y, and Z. Okay. Well, so let me

00:50:25.080 understand if, if we can hit these benchmarks and do these, these things over the next 60 days,

00:50:31.180 are you willing to circle around with me and have the conversation about, uh, looking at my

00:50:37.040 compensation package? Like put them on the spot, man. Not like a dick, but like tell him, Hey,

00:50:44.920 I'm doing a lot here now. Hopefully he's going to get the idea that he either needs to hire somebody

00:50:49.500 or that he needs to look at your compensation package. This is assertive communication. This

00:50:54.820 is the way men behave and communicate with each other. Now he might take that negatively. Okay. Well,

00:51:01.980 that goes back to what we were saying earlier about fixing yourself. You should be networking at

00:51:06.820 all times. You should be working on your communication skills. You should be, uh, uh,

00:51:11.760 getting involved in courses and, and, and looking at credentials and degrees and designations and all

00:51:18.920 these other things. So that if something goes South in the business, you're never going to be at a loss

00:51:22.940 for work. Cause if the guy's not going to work with you, like you need to probably consider going

00:51:28.500 to work with an organization that will, but you can't just do that on a whim. And I think it's only

00:51:33.680 right and fair to give him an opportunity. But if we're not willing to communicate this to an

00:51:38.880 employer, then yeah, like it is in his best interest not to give you a raise. It is in his

00:51:45.840 best interest based on the facts that he has to not hire somebody else. So make it, make it

00:51:55.520 difficult for him to say, for him, not to acknowledge that you need a raise by communicating

00:52:04.260 with him, like opening your mouth and sharing. That's hard. It's very hard, especially for

00:52:09.940 somebody who's never been a great communicator, never grew up around great communicators,

00:52:14.180 always kind of like put converse. A lot of parents are this way. Like, Oh, we don't talk about that.

00:52:18.660 This is difficult. I don't want to talk about that. And so you never learned how to confront

00:52:22.860 people. There's great resources, crucial conversations or crucial confrontations.

00:52:27.880 I think conversations, conversations, um, is a great book. Like there's so much information

00:52:34.120 out here, but you need to have a conversation with them and don't let them off the hook.

00:52:38.240 Cause what, what an employer will do is they'll try to kick it down the road,

00:52:42.200 kick the can down the road, right? Like, Oh yeah, man. Yeah. Kip, you're right. I know

00:52:46.220 next quarter we're working on this project. Let's talk about it in, in February or in, uh, in April.

00:52:51.700 Okay. Like we're just gotta get this done. Let's talk about it in April. Okay. That's fair. Hey Kip.

00:52:56.840 So, okay. So I'm hearing in April, let me ask you this. Uh, we're in February right now. So we have

00:53:01.500 February, March, April. So we have three months in the next 90 days. What would you need to see from

00:53:07.240 me? So that in April you feel confident with, uh, reevaluating my compensation package.

00:53:13.140 Totally. Like don't let him kick it down the road without you holding his feet to the fire.

00:53:19.020 Totally. Got to do it. And you're creating possibility for me, right? You're saying,

00:53:23.300 Hey, what would, what would need to be present for you to feel good about it? That's right. That's a

00:53:28.320 fair question. That's not threatening. I'd see that as like, okay, yeah. Awesome. If I saw these things,

00:53:34.100 I'd feel great about it. Like that's perfect. It's clear, concise. You're, you're creating a

00:53:38.500 possibility for me to like feel excited and feel good about that decision versus like strong arming.

00:53:44.340 Or we've talked about this in the past. It's like, well, I'm going to have to quit then. I mean,

00:53:47.720 don't, don't pull that number. Cause he may call your bluff. Right. So, um, I love this and I've

00:53:54.100 used this even in the IC. I've told guys the same thing. It's like, even in your personal life,

00:53:58.320 you really want to go to the origin jujitsu camp later this year, but you're afraid that your wife

00:54:05.180 would be upset about it. This is what you do. You come home and you say, honey, there's this Brazilian

00:54:09.940 jujitsu emerging camp. Jocko's going to be there. Ryan's going to be there. Kip's going to be

00:54:13.160 there. I really want to go. I think it'll be great for me. What would I need to do between

00:54:18.120 now and then for you to feel good about me going? That's a fair conversation. Yeah. And she's going

00:54:26.760 to say, well, this is what I expect. I'd want to see these things from you. And then you can look

00:54:30.860 at it and go done. I can do that. Yeah. But then you have to actually do it. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Of

00:54:37.900 course. We're assuming to all have integrity. Yeah. And, and also you might have to fill in

00:54:42.960 the blanks too. Right. So whether it's your wife or your boss, you have to go back and say,

00:54:47.140 right, well, clear expectations, but then backfilling what has happened. So I'd come to

00:54:52.060 you as my boss and I'd say, Hey, Kip, you remember, uh, I reached out to you in the middle of February,

00:54:58.300 uh, because John had left and, and I was carrying his workload. And I asked you what three things you

00:55:03.440 needed me to do. And you said, I need to do this, this, and this. And we'd evaluate our compensation

00:55:07.460 package in April. Believe it or not, it's April. Um, I just, can we schedule a meeting to sit down

00:55:12.620 and I can show you, uh, the metrics and how the department has improved and how this, this has

00:55:20.120 been good for you as the owner of the company. When would you like to do that? So you like actually go

00:55:25.300 back and you back fill what had happened and you hold them to it. Cause Hey, you said we'd talk

00:55:32.100 here. I am following up and here's what we've done. You got to backfill that conversation.

00:55:36.620 Don't just assume that, Oh, okay, cool. Like in April, he's going to reach out. No, he's not.

00:55:41.120 He's not. He's going to forget about it. Yeah. Guaranteed. Guaranteed. All right.

00:55:47.000 DeShel Rocha, my wife and I started my own business. Our, our own business.

00:55:53.380 Start over Kip. Cause you cut out there a little bit.

00:55:56.040 Yeah. Well, and I, I, I was kind of slaughtering it anyway. So DeShel Rocha, my wife and I,

00:56:01.440 he's, this is all, uh, typed wrong. Okay. My wife and I would like to start our own business

00:56:09.460 or should we continue working for my boss, making an average salary and her making an

00:56:14.760 average salary together. We can make a decent living, but should I take the risk and not

00:56:19.660 work for someone else anymore? Thank you, Ryan Mickler. And I only giggle guys like mid question,

00:56:24.680 just because I've talked to Ryan so many times and I've heard he talks so many times that I hear

00:56:29.960 these certain phrases and I immediately like you're in my head and I go, Oh, I know how I was going to

00:56:34.280 respond to these. So go ahead. Sorry. Can you hear that? That banging out there? A ton of snow just

00:56:41.520 felt like a ton of snow just fell off the roof. Um, all right. Well, there's risk in everything.

00:56:48.900 Everything carries a certain amount of risk. There's risk in maintaining the status quo. There's a risk

00:56:55.080 that you'll be fired. There's a risk that you'll have some lost opportunity costs because you're

00:57:00.980 leaving income and money and upward mobility on the table. So you have to evaluate what risk are

00:57:07.080 you willing to take? Are you willing to trade, uh, income mobility, for example, uh, for a little

00:57:14.060 perceived and I use perceived intentionally a little perceived security and safety. Are you willing to do

00:57:19.120 that? If the answer is yes, then you should say you definitely should stay. If the answer is no upward

00:57:27.180 mobility control, freedom, flexibility of my time is worth the risk. Cause there is risk in stepping out

00:57:32.620 of this business that we want to start not working out, but it's worth it. Then you should leave.

00:57:38.540 Then you should start that side business. But I would actually also suggest that there's probably a way

00:57:43.260 where you can have your cake and eat it too. In this situation now, and I don't know what business you

00:57:47.620 guys are looking at starting, but I started order of man, which is a business, uh, when I was fully

00:57:54.480 vested in the financial planning practice, I was, I was full time. I was busting my butt in the

00:57:59.120 financial planning practice. And for two hours in the morning and two hours in the evening, I was

00:58:03.100 doing order of man. And I did that for about seven or eight months before I made my first dollar

00:58:07.540 with, with order of man. I made about 15, no, $1,200 in November of 2015, uh, with order of man.

00:58:15.160 But for seven months I was doing both and, and you can do both. That's the beauty. Now,

00:58:20.000 depending on the business you're looking at starting, you know, that, that may vary a little

00:58:24.040 bit, but there's probably a way where you can do both. But look at the end of the day, here's the

00:58:29.360 thing. Why in the world would you settle? Why would you settle? I don't understand why people set.

00:58:38.740 Well, I understand why people settle for a mediocre life. Cause they're scared. They're

00:58:45.500 scared. You know what I'm scared of? I'm scared of sitting on my deathbed, whether it's tomorrow

00:58:52.080 or tonight or the next 40 years. And looking back at all of these opportunities that I could

00:59:00.520 have taken, but I didn't because I was scared. Be, be truthful with yourself. You're afraid.

00:59:10.640 You have to acknowledge that because you don't want to be afraid. You want to be courageous.

00:59:15.400 Most men want to be courageous. So what they'll do is they'll say, I'm not afraid, right? So they'll

00:59:20.440 lie to themselves. No, you're afraid. Understandably so. But if you acknowledge that the truth that you're,

00:59:28.440 you're, you're, you're operating in fear, maybe you'll do the right thing, which is to exhibit

00:59:34.000 some level of courage towards the thing that you want to have. Fear is getting in your way.

00:59:41.320 And I'm not saying be reckless. You have obligations and responsibilities. So I'm not saying just throw

00:59:48.380 caution to the wind. I'm just saying be bold, be assertive, be courageous, acknowledge the fear,

00:59:55.180 recognize that it's there, be truthful about it. Don't bury your head in the sand.

00:59:58.440 And then act in spite of the fear, put some plans in place to mitigate the potential risk and the

01:00:05.360 fear that you're dealing with and live your life the way that it's meant to be lived, which is doing

01:00:10.560 the things that you want to do. By the way, I'm not saying that living the life the way it's meant

01:00:14.460 to be lived is starting a business. I'm not saying that. I'm saying that if you think that's the way

01:00:20.000 your life is supposed to be meant, then you should do that. And your life should be lived by

01:00:26.700 working with an organization because there's some values and some things there that then you should

01:00:31.360 do that. You should find a way to live your life the way that you best see fit. Stop second guessing

01:00:37.220 yourself. Stop operating in fear and do what you know you should be doing. Make a plan to make it

01:00:41.660 happen and then make it happen. Robbie Porter, what kind of daily routine do you and your wife keep?

01:00:50.720 Does your family have a daily morning nightly routine? Have you found a good group of people

01:00:55.560 in your new city to connect with and build community? Do your boys go to public school?

01:01:00.360 If so, are they adjusting well? Thanks for your willingness to share your life with us.

01:01:05.080 Ryan Mickler. Robbie, that's like eight questions, dude.

01:01:08.620 So this is, I was going to say, this is ask me anything, not ask me everything.

01:01:14.520 No, it's cool. We can, we can, we can handle as many of these as possible. What's the first one?

01:01:21.140 Uh, routines. You and your wife. Yes. Yeah. We have a morning routine. So I get up, I exercise,

01:01:28.340 she gets up, she exercises, whether it's training or jujitsu. Uh, we come home, we do a family meeting,

01:01:34.140 we have some scripture study, we do a family prayer, and then we all get on the same page.

01:01:38.740 Generally, that's what we do. Not every day because it is what it is, but that's generally

01:01:43.120 what we do. Do you do a nightly routine as well? Um, not typically. I mean, I, I personally wind my

01:01:50.660 day down. Yeah. Um, but you know, we do, we play with our kids, we read them books. Uh, I, we put them

01:01:58.740 down. I sing them some songs. They know the star spangled banner, Gilligan's Island, the theme song

01:02:05.020 to fresh Prince of Bel Air. There's a few others that I can sing to them that I know. Um, and some

01:02:10.860 beat boxing in there. Um, take me out to the ball game. They know really well, like the classics,

01:02:16.620 right? The important ones. Uh, and then, okay. So that's what we do as far as routine building

01:02:22.800 community in the new city. Uh, yeah, I, you know, I actually, surprisingly, I've done a better job at

01:02:30.060 that than, than she has. Uh, but I'm, I'm very involved with, like, I get involved with, with

01:02:36.820 origin. I go to training. So I've met a lot of people there. Um, we've met some great people.

01:02:42.540 Uh, in fact, I had, it was funny cause the other day I had, um, uh, main, uh, warden service,

01:02:49.980 the fish and wildlife department. One of the, one of my buddies, Chris McCabe came over. Like

01:02:53.780 he just by, he was on a snowmobile patrolling and he stopped by to say hello. And then yesterday I

01:02:58.640 was out blowing snow. And, uh, one of my friends, he's a police officer. He stopped by. And so like

01:03:04.460 all these people are thinking like, who's this guy? Like a couple of months ago I had border patrol

01:03:10.520 over and there was three border patrol vehicles in my driveway for the entire day. Cause we had lunch

01:03:16.920 and we invited him over. We did some podcasting and I went down to the convenience store, uh,

01:03:21.500 the, the following day and the gal there, she's one of our neighbors. She's like, so like, what was

01:03:26.860 border patrol doing at your house? Like trying to figure out what's going on. But yeah, I try to

01:03:31.460 like, I'm in these people's community, you know? So I'm, it's my, it's on me to, to put myself in,

01:03:39.280 in this community to find friends, to support and give help and resources wherever I can and however I

01:03:46.220 can. And so I feel like we've done a pretty, pretty good job at that. Uh, so that's, that's

01:03:50.980 what I'd say for embedding ourselves in the community. Last question was, uh, public school,

01:03:55.400 uh, kids going to public school and if so adjusting well or not. Uh, we do homeschooling. This is our

01:04:01.140 first year of homeschooling. They are adjusting to homeschooling. Well, uh, yeah, we just made a

01:04:05.120 decision. You can go back and listen to a podcast about why I made that decision, but we made the

01:04:09.920 decision not to put them in public school. Um, in fact, right now they're driving back from a,

01:04:13.860 from a, uh, a homeschooling trip. They were gone for three days at this great wolf lodge somewhere

01:04:22.140 down in Massachusetts and they swam and they had a dance and they had a pizza party like with all

01:04:27.600 the homeschoolers. It's really cool. Um, but yeah, we've actually been liking the homeschooling a lot.

01:04:33.060 It's way better. It's way better. It's way more efficient, way more effective individual attention.

01:04:40.040 I spend more time with my kids. We do fun stuff. They learn better things. They're not learning all

01:04:45.180 this bullshit from, from these ideologies that I don't agree with. It's just way better on every

01:04:51.740 metric. So if you're listening and you're thinking or like it's ever crossed your mind, you ought to

01:04:59.180 seriously consider, think long and hard and do research about homeschooling. I'm just telling you,

01:05:04.380 it's going to become more and more viable as we continue to see culture and media and the

01:05:09.280 government and everything else get involved in our lives the way it has. Totally. Or just reach

01:05:13.620 out to Ryan and ask to pick his brain for an hour or so regarding the homeschooling. Yeah. And I'll

01:05:19.720 tell you how much it costs and we'll get it done. Hey, look, I'm happy to have a conversation with

01:05:25.020 everybody. I'm just not willing. I just don't know if you're willing to pay the price or not.

01:05:29.240 That's the question. Nathan Hutzel, do you view, I know, do you view family as a springboard for

01:05:39.180 individual success of each member or as a multi-generational story to be lived in under

01:05:45.840 a shared mission? Um, I would lean more towards, I like, this is an interesting question. Uh, I would

01:05:53.620 lean more towards individual success. It's not my job to dictate how my sons and daughter live their

01:06:00.180 life when they become adults. It is now like I, that's my job by definition to give them the

01:06:05.880 foundation and the knowledge and give them a mission and a purpose and tell them how we behave and what

01:06:09.600 morality looks like and, and how, how we live our lives. That is my job at its core. But ultimately

01:06:16.700 when they go out on their own, you know, they're going to have to make their own decisions. They're

01:06:20.820 going to have to decide what's important and what isn't important. Uh, hopefully I give them a

01:06:25.000 foundation of knowledge and truth and, uh, principles that they can build a successful life

01:06:29.380 and a successful marriage and career upon, but ultimately that's on them and they have no obligation

01:06:35.500 whatsoever to assume some sort of Mickler, uh, vision for, for life. You know, I hope they carry on my

01:06:44.800 legacy. I hope they remember me when I'm dead and gone as, as somebody who, you know,

01:06:50.820 did what he said he was going to do. He was willing to take some risks and try the things

01:06:54.360 that came to his mind that he worked hard. He cared about people. Uh, he attempted to do the

01:06:58.600 right things as often as he could. Um, in many ways he fell short. And when he did, he, he apologized

01:07:04.380 and he tried to write the situation. I hope that's how they remember me. Um, but as, as, as some sort of

01:07:11.060 like shared family, like Rockefeller type thing where we carry on this like generational, eh,

01:07:18.600 that's, that's on them. They can decide. And, um, hopefully I have empowered them with the tools

01:07:23.340 to be able to make good decisions for themselves and their families. Yeah. One, I can't help but

01:07:27.320 think, but by focusing on an individual success, that's what makes that general multi-generational

01:07:32.960 story possible is because you were someone honorable enough that they would want to be like,

01:07:38.120 versus being forced upon them. So. Right. I mean, it's funny because a lot of people talk about this

01:07:43.660 is like indoctrinating our children, which I've used that term, especially when it comes to the

01:07:47.840 previous question, public schooling, like it's indoctrination and other, other people have called

01:07:51.960 me on it and they've said, well, aren't you indoctrinating your children by sharing your

01:07:55.060 beliefs? Yes, but I'm the parent. So I should be doing that. Like I shouldn't be letting them be

01:08:02.400 indoctrinated by something else. So could you say it's indoctrination to take your kids to church?

01:08:07.640 Yeah, you could. Totally. That's the point. Like I, I am trying to indoctrinate them to

01:08:15.400 principles and beliefs and values and morality and principles that I think I said principles

01:08:20.320 twice that will serve them well. So yes, I am indoctrinating them. That's my job. I'm so sick

01:08:27.900 of this thing where it's like, let the kids do whatever they want. Let them decide and think for

01:08:32.020 themselves and let them determine if they're a boy or a girl. And let's, let's take hormone blockers

01:08:37.620 and let's let them make the decision. Kids are stupid. They're naive. They're innocent. They're

01:08:42.240 ignorant because they don't have life experience. You do. So it's your job to be able to teach them,

01:08:48.260 to guide them. And dare I say, if you want to use this term, indoctrinate them. It's not a bad thing.

01:08:54.220 Totally. All right, let's take one more. All right. Um, I'm going to jump over to,

01:09:00.800 well, I thought this would be a good one. Maybe you tell me it or not. Ragnar Virchis,

01:09:05.440 how would you describe a good, valuable post for the Facebook group? What are some things that men

01:09:11.520 could work on to improve the quality of their posts? I like that. Um, this, this applies to

01:09:17.700 life as we were talking about earlier in this podcast as well. Uh, I would say, well, there's

01:09:23.900 a lot of different things. One thing is you could share your, your wins, like share what's working

01:09:28.240 well. You know, a lot of people go in there and ask for feedback, like, Hey, I'm struggling with this.

01:09:32.060 What feedback do you have for me? I don't have any problem with that. I think that's good. That's

01:09:35.300 why we're doing it. But I would say you should have to share just as many wins as you ask for

01:09:38.920 feedback. Like, why would you take deposits if you're not going to put in withdrawals or excuse

01:09:43.700 me? Why, why would you take withdrawals if you're not going to make deposits, right? Like you need to

01:09:48.620 deposit just as much. And here's the beauty of that. The more you deposit, the more equity you have to

01:09:56.000 withdraw. So if you're in a Facebook group or you're in a conversation or you're in employment or

01:10:01.120 you're in relationship and you're making deposit, deposit, the deposit by sharing and adding value

01:10:05.520 and enhancing when it does come time to make a withdrawal, all the capital's there and you won't

01:10:10.740 have any problem with that. You'll get as much feedback as you need. But if all you ever do is

01:10:14.900 withdraw, withdraw, withdraw, withdraw, withdraw, people are going to get sick of that. And you're

01:10:19.420 going to overdraw your account, your human capital. So add value. Hey, this is working. And,

01:10:24.300 and I had this victory and here we are camping with my kids and I didn't used to do this,

01:10:28.940 but here's a couple of tips that I've been using to, to be more connected with my kids or,

01:10:33.280 Hey, I got a promotion at work. Again, this is not about bragging. It's about sharing what works.

01:10:38.060 I got a promotion at work and all I did was ask. Like I was so, uh, I was so afraid and,

01:10:43.440 but I just went and I asked my boss or I had a conversation with him and he gave me a raise,

01:10:47.680 a 20% raise, like share this stuff. So that that's one thing that can really change the culture of the

01:10:53.960 group. The other thing is if you are going to ask for feedback, instead of just asking also share

01:11:00.180 what you've already done to correct your own problems, right? So, Hey guys, I'm really struggling

01:11:05.740 in my relationship. My wife and I haven't been very intimate over the past, you know, six or seven

01:11:10.360 months. And I don't know what's happening, but here's some things that I did to initiate it. Uh,

01:11:16.200 I took her on a date and we've been doing regular date nights and, um, and I've been a little bit more

01:11:21.520 spontaneously. Like I just took her on a vacation last weekend. We went, we're gone for two days,

01:11:26.460 but I don't know, for some reason, she just doesn't seem to be all that connected. I'm wondering

01:11:31.340 if there's something I'm missing. That's different and significantly more impactful because you're,

01:11:37.740 you're depositing annual withdrawing than saying, Hey, my, my marriage is in trouble and I'm just so

01:11:42.800 lost and I'm, I'm frustrated and I'm scared and I don't know what to do. What should I do?

01:11:46.520 Now you just sound desperate. So solve your own problems, at least attempt to. And whenever I say

01:11:54.520 that, here's what people say. Some people they'll say, well, if he knew how to solve his own problem,

01:12:00.040 he wouldn't be answering the question, would he? Well, no, that's not necessarily true. Like you can

01:12:06.440 attempt to solve your own problems without knowing the answer. You can try things. You can see what

01:12:14.880 works. Maybe you had an idea or maybe you saw somebody as an example, but men attempt to solve

01:12:20.800 their own problems. I'm not saying go at it alone. I'm not saying be so arrogant that you don't accept

01:12:25.120 feedback, but at least like try at least. And you know what? I think more often than not, you'd be

01:12:31.960 surprised how you end up solving your own problems by just trying things. So that, that is a pet peeve of

01:12:40.620 mine would say, well, you know, like if you knew how to solve it, cause here's what I do. When people

01:12:44.940 say they have problems, I go in there and you'd probably see me do this. I say, well, what are

01:12:48.620 you going to do about it? Oh, what's your plan? How are you going to fix it? Like, that's my response.

01:12:54.000 Most guys like rush in to give advice. Like, I don't know anything about this guy. What, what are you

01:12:57.900 going to do to fix it? And a lot of times they hear crickets cause they don't want to solve their

01:13:02.560 own problems. They just want to complain. But the guys who answer me back, they're like, oh yeah,

01:13:06.360 that's a good question. I've, well, I've tried this and this and this. Those are the guys who actually end up

01:13:10.340 solving their problems. Cause you can tell they're assertive about it. Yeah. And then you'll have

01:13:14.240 the guy who comes back and says, well, if you, you know, don't you think if you knew what he was going

01:13:18.180 to do, or he had a plan that you'd already do it and you wouldn't need to ask the question. No, I don't.

01:13:22.140 Not necessarily. Yeah. Sometimes just be a little prod or a little poke, you know, and somebody calling

01:13:27.560 them out and saying, Hey, fix your shit. Uh, it might just actually be the thing that that individual

01:13:32.140 needs. So those are the two things I would give is, is share your victories and, uh, propose solutions

01:13:40.120 to your own problems when asking for feedback and advice. Cool. All right. We'll wrap up, um,

01:13:48.280 regarding that question, right. And these questions that we've answered, join us on Facebook at

01:13:53.080 facebook.com slash group slash order van join us there. And then of course you can learn more about

01:13:59.140 our exclusive brotherhood, the iron council at order of man.com slash iron council. I believe we do

01:14:05.940 still have some openings for the legacy event. That's June 11th through the 14th, 2020 in Maine

01:14:12.160 that's for, uh, men and sons between the ages of eight and 15 years old. And, uh, to learn more

01:14:20.460 about legacy, go to order of man.com slash legacy. And of course to support us and this mission of what

01:14:26.620 we're doing, subscribe to the podcast, subscribe to the YouTube channel, and just share the message.

01:14:31.860 And you can follow Mr. Mickler on Twitter and Instagram at Ryan Mickler.

01:14:38.060 Got her. Well done, man. Appreciate the, uh, the feedback and the input kit. We had some really

01:14:44.040 good questions. We didn't get through all of them, but man, I really liked those questions today. So

01:14:47.660 appreciate you guys asking those questions, being engaged. It's really important that you engage.

01:14:52.720 Um, not because like it helps us, although it certainly does when you engage and you ask questions

01:14:57.380 and you leave ratings and reviews for the podcast, that certainly helps. And I ask that you do that

01:15:00.900 stuff, but you're helping your fellow man. You know, like if you're, if you're asking a question

01:15:06.860 about whatever, any of the questions that we talked about today, it odds are that other men who are

01:15:12.120 listening to this podcast are dealing with the same issues. And I know that to be true because we get

01:15:16.120 emails and direct messages from guys. And in fact, I had one this morning and he said, Hey,

01:15:21.220 I really appreciate you. And Kip's, uh, asked me any things because there was a couple of things that I

01:15:25.520 was dealing with and you had answered somebody else. And that actually helped me. So by you engaging,

01:15:30.900 in this mission, whether it's simply asking a question or purchasing a hat or, uh, leaving a

01:15:38.560 rating or review, like you're helping other people, not just yourself. So I want to thank you for that.

01:15:44.660 That's important to us. So appreciate that. Um, but that's all I got. Anything else that you'd add,

01:15:49.000 Kip? No, sir. Okay. We'll be back on, uh, let's see Friday, right? Friday for Friday field notes.

01:15:56.300 I'm going to be talking about the difference between accepting fault and accepting responsibility.

01:16:02.140 So I have some interesting thoughts on that. So make sure you subscribe. Uh, but until then,

01:16:05.620 go out there guys, take action and become a man you are meant to be. Thank you for listening to the

01:16:10.240 order of man podcast. You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant

01:16:15.260 to be. We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.

A Father's Legacy, Asking Better Questions, and Dealing with Negative Family Members ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

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