Order of Man

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart

00:00:05.000 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.500 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong. This is your life. This is who

00:00:17.240 you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,

00:00:22.800 you can call yourself a man. Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Michler.

00:00:27.760 I'm the host and the founder of the Order of Man podcast and movement. Now, we've done over,

00:00:32.140 gosh, it's probably been 750 plus episodes at this point. You know what we're all about,

00:00:36.640 but if you are just new, you're just visiting us, hearing this podcast for the first time,

00:00:40.760 this is one of three podcasts that we do every single week, and this is your Ask Me Anything.

00:00:46.620 So, we're fielding questions from our Facebook group, which can be found at facebook.com slash

00:00:51.880 groups slash Order of Man. Sometimes we're fielding questions from Instagram. Sometimes we're

00:00:57.540 fielding questions from our exclusive brotherhood, the Iron Council, which can be found at orderofman.com

00:01:03.020 slash Iron Council. And today, I am writing solo again. Sometimes I'm, usually I'm joined by my

00:01:10.020 co-host and friend, Kip Sorensen, but we've been a little sporadic lately as we've gotten into spring

00:01:15.620 and summer. So, sometimes you'll get him, sometimes you'll get me, sometimes you'll get both of us,

00:01:20.020 and we'll let you decide which is the better host. These ones come directly from Facebook. We

00:01:27.260 solicited, if I can say that word, solicited some questions from you last week or a couple of weeks

00:01:34.080 ago, and I want to make sure I get to the follow-up, the ones that we have not yet got to. So,

00:01:39.040 we'll get into that in here just in a minute. Guys, before we do, just want to mention our free

00:01:43.760 Battle Ready course program that's available if you go to orderofman.com slash Battle Ready.

00:01:49.300 It's going to walk you through the tools, the frameworks, questions. You have some challenges

00:01:53.980 that are going to help you accomplish more in your life. It's going to give you a path and a track to

00:02:00.620 run on. And it's not my path. It's not another man's path. It's our framework, but it's all designed

00:02:05.540 to help you create your own path towards progress and growth and expansion and becoming a better man,

00:02:10.780 which is what you should be doing, not taking it directly from me or anybody else,

00:02:16.080 using frameworks that work from other successful men, implementing it in your own way,

00:02:21.500 and then making it your own. So, check out that free course at orderofman.com slash Battle Ready.

00:02:27.160 All right, guys. With that said, let's get into the questions. The first one today comes from Joshua

00:02:32.540 Thompson. He says this, it seems that every time you post something in the group about men being leaders

00:02:39.540 in their home or being better at presiding in their home, there's a lot of controversy within

00:02:43.960 the group. Why do you think that is? From your view, what part of the message are people not

00:02:48.020 understanding? How much of the controversy revolves around the application of idea versus the actual

00:02:53.720 idea itself? I actually don't see a whole lot of this controversy. I guess it's proportionate.

00:03:01.120 You know, it just comes with the territory. Maybe I'm just used to seeing people who don't always

00:03:05.080 agree. And that's fine. You know, we can have disagreements and see things from a different

00:03:09.600 perspective as long as we're all going to be civil about it. But if there is any disagreement,

00:03:14.220 I would imagine most of it comes from the application of the idea. Now, there is a lot of

00:03:21.480 new, I call it new age thinking, that says that men aren't necessarily the leader. Or, you know,

00:03:28.480 what a lot of guys will do is they'll say, they'll assume that just because I'm talking about the man

00:03:32.660 being the leader in the home, that he's some sort of tyrannical patriarch of the home, that his wife 0.79

00:03:39.360 doesn't have a say and that she doesn't get to communicate or she doesn't get to lead in her own 0.83

00:03:44.320 right. And that's not at all what I'm saying. When I talk about the man being the leader of the home,

00:03:48.760 my wife has plenty of say. And I turn to her often for advice and insight. And I value her opinion when

00:03:55.940 it comes to leading our family well. I think the buck stops with me. So ultimately, I have to make

00:04:02.280 the decisions that are going to be in my family's best interest. My wife honors that. She respects

00:04:07.560 that. But that's also because I've earned the right in her eyes to be able to do that. So some people

00:04:15.540 will say, even men listening to this podcast, that's antiquated thinking. It's outdated. It's

00:04:21.280 stereotypical gender roles, all this kind of stuff, which I don't buy into. There's a lot of that

00:04:26.780 nonsense going around. So even those individuals have infiltrated our Facebook group and other

00:04:31.460 elements of what we're doing. And that's fine. Again, we can have disagreements about it. But

00:04:35.880 again, if there is a disagreement, I think it's going to come more from the application of the

00:04:41.360 principle. How do we effectively lead? What does it actually mean to be a leader in the home versus

00:04:47.040 the concept of men being leaders generally in the home? I think most people who have followed us

00:04:54.700 for any amount of time would agree with that. And if you don't agree with that, well, that is one of

00:04:59.820 the foundational principles of what makes a man a man. So if you don't agree that men should be leading

00:05:06.620 their families and their businesses and their communities well, probably not the best place

00:05:10.600 for you because this is one of the principles that we operate under. So that's what I think.

00:05:15.080 All right, here we go. Let's go to Adam Mitchell. This is one that gets brought up a lot, guys.

00:05:20.620 And I always answer these questions because it needs to be reiterated. So here it is. Is it more

00:05:26.160 important to go after a job that pays highly but isn't in a field you're pursuing or go into a field

00:05:33.380 that interests you making less money? This is what is known as a false dichotomy, that it's only one

00:05:43.380 or the other. You can go into a career path that pays you well, but you're going to be miserable

00:05:48.200 or not interested in it. Or you can find something that interests you, that you love, that you're

00:05:54.760 excited about, that doesn't pay well. Well, there might be another option here that we're overlooking.

00:06:02.480 And that option might be that you can find a career path that interests you, that you're engaged in,

00:06:08.160 that you're pursuing, that you're excited about. And you can also make a lot of money. And you can

00:06:13.780 also have the freedom and flexibility to spend time with your family and your friends and going

00:06:17.700 on adventures and partaking in the other, the things that you want to do in life. And I would say

00:06:23.960 that's probably what you ought to be pursuing. Now there's seasons for everything. I've done

00:06:27.940 everything from electrical work, heating and air, pizza delivery, landscaping. I mean,

00:06:34.960 I've done it all. Retail, financial planning, and some of those I was more excited about than others.

00:06:41.940 So it's taken me a long time to get to the point now where I'm in a career path with order of man

00:06:47.020 that I'm engaged in, that I'm excited about, that I wake up every day thinking about,

00:06:52.340 that I want to continue down the path. And at this point, six years into this thing,

00:06:56.520 it's fairly lucrative. I've made more money doing this than I have in any other job,

00:07:03.340 including owning my own financial planning practice. So I think we need to be careful of

00:07:08.260 the false dichotomies. We need to be careful of trapping ourselves or pigeonholing ourselves into

00:07:12.840 being miserable for money or being satisfied with our work and broke. Look for the third option,

00:07:21.500 the best of both worlds, which is satisfied with your work and also making a lot of money.

00:07:28.040 Now, means to an end? Yeah. Sometimes you got to do work that sucks because you got to put food on

00:07:31.840 the table. And that's what men do too. But that isn't the end in and of itself. That's just the

00:07:36.140 means to the end, which is a better position all around. All right. This one comes from Chris

00:07:41.360 Coep or Coep. He says, my 17-year-old son is doing his absolute best not to graduate next year by

00:07:47.980 skipping school and not completing his work when he does go. I keep preaching on the importance of

00:07:53.540 graduating and pushing for him to go to school, but it only seems to drive us further apart. He says,

00:07:58.280 he just wants to be a man and be done with school. At what point do you think it's good to just let

00:08:03.560 him go his own way and see if he sinks or swims? You know, I actually agree with part of what your

00:08:09.260 son has said. He just wants to be a man and done with school. I get that. I understand that. I can

00:08:14.760 resonate with that. I know when I was 17, 16, 17, 18 years old, I was a junior and a senior in high

00:08:20.300 school. I was ready. I was done. I mean, I was taking classes that just were not important. A lot of

00:08:26.380 them were just elective classes just to, you know, get the credits, but they weren't really

00:08:30.120 actually going towards any meaningful education or schooling. So I was so pissed off and ready to

00:08:36.240 be done. And that actually is a good sign of independence. Again, I go back to means to an

00:08:41.720 end. Maybe you've already explained this to him, Chris, but hey, look, if you want to be a man,

00:08:45.600 sometimes a man does what he needs to do. And it's not always going to be fun and it's not always

00:08:51.360 going to be enjoyable, but your life is going to be better if you put your nose down and your head down

00:08:55.900 and you get to work and you take the last, what, two months, three months, maybe. I don't even

00:09:01.240 think it's that. Well, I guess maybe he's a junior, so he's got school next year too. So tell him, put

00:09:08.020 his head down, tell him you're going to help him out. If he wants to do other things, maybe he wants

00:09:12.280 to start looking into a trade school or he wants to do some sort of an internship with somebody this

00:09:18.300 summer, but maybe give him a taste of what is to come as he's in between his junior and senior

00:09:25.060 year. I'm assuming that's the case. That way he can maybe get a break and a respite from the formal

00:09:30.440 education and get into the real world, feel like he's providing, and that might scratch the itch for

00:09:35.900 another year. And then you explain to him that, hey, let's lock it in for the next six to seven,

00:09:43.440 eight months. Let's dial this in. Let's get it done. I'm going to help you. I'm going to be here to

00:09:47.580 support you. And then I'm going to help you get off to the races. But I think maybe this summer

00:09:53.420 break here might be a good opportunity for him to get a job, to do an internship, to do some of

00:10:00.560 these things I said. And that might give him a taste of independence. And I think we should as

00:10:05.760 best we can honor some of that. All right. Next one, Kurt Leach. He says, what strategies do you use

00:10:13.840 to take learning from books that you read and implement them into your daily life? When I read

00:10:19.220 from self-help genre, the books, I have so much useful info that I feel overwhelmed because there's

00:10:25.100 a lot of things I'd like to incorporate. Yeah, I get this, man. And I actually used to be one of

00:10:30.400 those guys who would pride myself on just reading as many books as possible. What I started to do

00:10:37.120 lately is not read as many books and go deeper into fewer books. That way I can actually apply the

00:10:44.200 information that I think is useful. And so I pick up only books that I'm interested in or something

00:10:51.160 specific that I need work on. If I want to learn how to communicate better for the podcast, for example,

00:10:55.560 then I'll pick up a book on communication. If I need to learn how to better run the day-to-day

00:11:01.800 operations of the business, then I'm going to pick up something along those lines. So I'm hyper-focused

00:11:07.160 on the books that I am picking out based on my needs, not what other people tell me I should read.

00:11:12.600 Because I get suggestions every single day. And if I read all those books, quite literally, I'd have

00:11:18.520 no time for anything else and I wouldn't implement any of it. So be selective on the books that you're

00:11:23.920 choosing. And then one thing I do is a strategy for reading books. You can see if you're watching

00:11:29.080 this on YouTube at orderofman.com or excuse me, youtube.com slash orderofman is I've got a bunch of

00:11:34.640 books behind me. What I do when I read a book is I will read the book with usually a pink or yellow

00:11:39.740 highlighter. And if I see a segment or a sentence or a thought that I like for whatever reason,

00:11:46.560 I'll go ahead and highlight that sentence. And then I'll just do a little dog ear on the book

00:11:50.660 itself. So I'll get all the way through the book. Then when I'm all the way through the book,

00:11:55.300 I go back and I pull up the dog eared pages and I look at what I had written down or what I had

00:12:01.820 highlighted. And then I might take some notes or figure out a way to actually incorporate that into my

00:12:06.460 day, which leads me to the next point that you actually have to have a daily strategy.

00:12:11.760 So if you're not using something like, let me grab this here. It's always sitting on my desk.

00:12:16.740 If you're not using something like our battle planner or a blank notepad, which I also have here,

00:12:21.840 or some other system that you happen to use and you're not planning out every single day,

00:12:26.780 it's going to be a lot harder for you to incorporate good ideas because there's no outlet for them.

00:12:32.280 It's like, you know, three tips you pick up from a book. You're like, oh yeah, I really want to do

00:12:36.460 that. Cool. Tell me how. Well, I don't know. Okay. You don't have a system in place to incorporate

00:12:40.400 it, but if you pulled one, one interesting tidbit or one strategy out of a book, and then you

00:12:46.960 incorporated that into your 12 week battle plan. And you said for the next 90 days, I'm going to do

00:12:51.240 this one thing every day for the next 90 days. Obviously you're going to have more success implementing

00:12:57.420 what's in the book. So have, have a system for the book itself, have a system for incorporation,

00:13:03.500 and maybe don't read so much, get hyper-focused on what you are reading, uh, and go deep instead of

00:13:09.200 wide on the books and information you're consuming. Jake Lenahan says, what is the greatest lesson

00:13:15.060 learned from your podcast adventure? I don't know if there's a one great lesson that sticks out. Um,

00:13:23.320 you know, I would say a couple of things. Number one, just take risks. I should have started this

00:13:30.200 podcast years earlier because I had the idea to do it, but I sat on the idea for a while and

00:13:34.880 contemplated and molded over and hemmed and hawed about why I should or shouldn't and came up with

00:13:39.800 excuses and justifications as to what I was doing was the right path. And I think I would have taken

00:13:44.580 the risk earlier. Um, but there's also risk in, especially early on asking powerful people to come

00:13:50.700 on my podcast. I was a little intimidated about asking certain people to come on and I would drag 0.97

00:13:56.740 my feet and I wouldn't ask. And eventually when I, you know, I've grew the balls to ask those 0.74

00:14:01.440 individuals, a lot of them said yes. And, and I'm kicking myself. I wish I would have just asked 0.89

00:14:06.560 earlier and got over myself and got over my fear of, of, uh, of being, you know, turned down and

00:14:12.780 in rejection, like a lot of us have. So take some risks. Uh, don't, don't be afraid to pursue

00:14:17.800 something. Also don't chase the money. You know, I, obviously this draws into the question

00:14:23.100 we had earlier, but you know, money is a factor and, and our ability to provide financially

00:14:27.820 for ourselves and our families are important. So, uh, you know, you can figure out a way to

00:14:32.600 make money really doing anything at this point, uh, including podcasting. A lot of people ask,

00:14:39.680 you know, well, you podcast, well, what's your real job? Well, this is my real job. I'm a professional,

00:14:44.160 meaning I get paid for the work that I do, but that took some time to build out the network,

00:14:48.800 to gain some credibility and influence with men like yourself. Uh, and, and, and, but once we did,

00:14:56.620 then, you know, we're off to the races. So that's what I would say as far as the greatest lessons

00:15:00.280 learned. And there's so many of them. I mean, I've interviewed, I think almost 350 incredible men at

00:15:05.240 this point. How could I say there's one great lesson when I've had so many incredible opportunities

00:15:10.460 to have conversations with these guys. All right. Forgive the, uh, motorcycle there in,

00:15:16.680 in the background. I've got the windows open cause here in Maine, it's getting a little warm. So the

00:15:20.120 windows are open. The fan is, is, is pumping and you're going to either hear, uh, motorcycles or,

00:15:26.000 uh, semi trucks, logging trucks that are coming down, uh, with their, with their loads. So you might

00:15:30.400 hear that occasionally. Uh, Billy Huckle says I have two boys under 18 months old. Wow. I feel for you.

00:15:38.020 Uh, I don't know if, I mean, I'm, I think if they were twins, you would have said so, but just the

00:15:42.500 fact that they're so close together, man, that's, that's hard. Uh, and I want to help my wife as

00:15:47.740 much as possible. What's the best way to give her a break? I mean, really the best thing you can do,

00:15:55.140 she can't be away from the kids for too long. I don't know if she's breastfeeding and how that 1.00

00:15:59.460 dynamic works for you guys. Really. She can't be away for too long, but if it were me, what I would do

00:16:04.860 is I would encourage her to get together with her siblings or her parents or her friends and say,

00:16:11.300 Hey, let me take the, uh, the boys for the next, you know, three, four hours. Um, or, or let her, 0.76

00:16:17.500 she might just want to stay at home and relax and read a book or lay on the hammock or do nothing. 0.99

00:16:22.720 Or, or maybe she wants to even clean the house. Maybe she's wanted to clean the house, but she can't

00:16:27.500 because she's got two little boys running around and destroying everything and leaving this wake of, 0.95

00:16:33.220 of, of destruction in their path. And she, she has to clean up as fast as they are. Yeah. As fast

00:16:38.820 as they can make it. So, um, maybe you just take them, you know, Hey, Hey, I'm going to go, uh,

00:16:43.940 I'm going to go hang out with the guys. We're going to watch the game. I'm going to bring the

00:16:46.560 boys with me. We're going to have a good time. And don't worry. You know, I'm going to watch them.

00:16:49.760 We're going to take care of them. All is good, but I'm going to be gone for a couple hours.

00:16:52.680 And so, uh, you guys, you know, have to it or take them and do miniature golf or something.

00:16:58.360 There's things that you can do. And maybe it's just an hour or two hours and you don't ask her,

00:17:03.900 you just say, Hey hon, you know, on Saturday, uh, from 12 to two, I'm going to take the boys,

00:17:07.800 uh, and we're going to go do miniature golf or we're going to go to the game or even the high

00:17:13.900 school game. And we're going to watch even just go to the park. So just take a couple hours.

00:17:18.620 Don't worry about us. We'll be back at two. Love you. Have fun. Good luck. And, and I think

00:17:24.060 she would really appreciate that. At least my, uh, my wife would. All right. Uh, Michael Fitzgerald,

00:17:30.840 he says, where did you purchase your canoe plans and kit? So, uh, a lot of you guys know I'm building

00:17:37.120 a canoe. In fact, right before this recording, um, we just glassed the inside hall. So when I'm done with

00:17:43.340 the recording, I have to go put the second coat of epoxy on the inside hall. Um, I used a program

00:17:48.280 or a company called bear mountain boats and, uh, they've been really, really good to work with. So

00:17:53.700 they, there's some instructional videos with Nick Offerman. Uh, there obviously you can buy the wood

00:17:59.600 that you need. Um, the wood it's, you know, people say kit it's kit doesn't quite paint it correctly

00:18:07.580 cause it's not really a kit. I mean, you have plans and you have the wood that you need, but you still

00:18:13.680 need to put everything together. You still need to cut the wood. You still need to build the strong

00:18:17.380 back, which is the bench. The canoe is made on. So there's, there's a lot to it. Uh, but bear

00:18:23.240 mountain, um, boats is, is the resource that I've used. And like I said, they've been very helpful.

00:18:29.720 Uh, I really don't know exactly how much I've put into the canoe cost wise and, and time wise. Cause

00:18:36.420 I did that by design. It was something I didn't really want to think too much about. I just wanted

00:18:42.860 to focus on building the canoe, doing it right and being present with my oldest son as we built it.

00:18:47.000 So, but it seems like we're probably, I would say three to $4,000 between the wood and everything

00:18:53.060 else, uh, and the plans and the tools that we've needed that I didn't have. I don't know how many

00:18:59.120 hours we started January 1st. So here we are, uh, middle of June. So, uh, you know, it's, it's taken

00:19:06.100 to six and a half months at this point. So bear mountain boats, check them out. Cordell Neely, have

00:19:12.900 you ever been on vacation in Florida? If so, what are you some recommendations? Uh, I don't even need

00:19:18.220 to answer that second question. Cause I, well, I have been once actually, now that I think of it

00:19:22.860 years and years ago, my wife, uh, she was doing an internship with an organization and they had a big

00:19:29.400 conference down there in Florida. And if I remember correctly, I went down after the conference was over

00:19:34.540 and met her and we did the whole Disney world thing. Uh, I don't really remember much of it

00:19:39.120 other than doing Disney world and that sort of thing. So I don't know. I'm not your guy. There's

00:19:43.740 other people who can probably answer that better. Cause I just haven't been on vacation a lot, let

00:19:48.080 alone in Florida. Uh, interesting topic to me is some tips on how to combine finances after getting

00:19:54.400 married. You know, there's a lot of different ways to do it. This comes from Joe Gully. Uh, there's a

00:19:58.400 lot of different ways to do it. I know, I know particular families that, that keep things separate

00:20:03.660 and the wife has some responsibilities and obligations to pay certain things. And the husband 0.78

00:20:08.620 has responsibilities and obligations to pay others. That's one way to do it. My wife and I have always

00:20:13.940 combined our accounts and we have rules in place. You know, she can spend money and I can spend money 0.96

00:20:20.180 up to a certain threshold without having to, you know, question each other or report that in. But

00:20:24.780 if I wanted to spend more money, like I wanted to buy a canoe, then of course I would, you know,

00:20:29.340 run that pastor. Uh, usually the way it works in a dynamic in a family is that one individual

00:20:34.800 better with the money than the other. So whether that's you as the husband or your wife, uh, one

00:20:39.760 person will usually take on the money management role. And I think that's fine, but we can't delegate

00:20:47.040 away the responsibility. We can delegate some authority, uh, to, to take care of that. But

00:20:54.060 ultimately we need to make sure that it's being taken care of. So whether Joe, you do it or your

00:20:59.620 wife, uh, does it and manages the books and the income and the expenses and all of that, I would

00:21:05.240 highly, highly suggest that you have a money meeting every single week. We do a month, a Monday money

00:21:11.920 meeting. It's a tongue twister Monday money meeting, uh, where my wife and I discuss what income is

00:21:18.600 coming in. Cause our income fluctuates slightly. Uh, we talk about what expenses are coming up. There

00:21:23.740 might be unforeseen expenses with the kids or the dogs or something around the house or whatever.

00:21:30.660 And, uh, we discuss that, you know, and then we also discuss what is coming up in the future

00:21:36.880 as far as expenses, maybe it's a vacation or a trip or canoe plans. And we need to plan for that. And

00:21:42.100 we just get on the same page and it's very quick at this point. It doesn't need to be a long drawn

00:21:45.720 out thing. It is very quick. Um, the other day an Airbnb charge went through on my account. I didn't

00:21:50.960 know what it was. This might sound funny to you. I was in my office. So I just shot her an email.

00:21:56.260 I forwarded it to her. I said, what's this? She saw, shot me a message back. She said, it's for

00:21:59.840 the, for the trip. I said, great done. Got it. You know? So I manage it, but I include her in on the

00:22:05.300 process. And that's important because as a financial advisor, uh, I can tell you, I've, I've talked with a

00:22:11.000 lot of wives in particular, whose husbands passed away and their husbands took care of all of the 1.00

00:22:17.300 financial stuff. And now husband is no longer in the picture. He's gone. Uh, and, and the wife is,

00:22:23.680 you know, maybe set up, but she doesn't know how to manage any of this. She doesn't know where the

00:22:28.640 investments are. She doesn't know the bank account numbers and she just doesn't have access to that 0.99

00:22:33.760 stuff. So you need to make sure she's on board and you need to be on board if she's the one who

00:22:37.760 handles it all. All right. John Tybersky says, where do I see the legal institution of marriage going

00:22:46.140 over the next five to 10 years? I mean, I don't know about the institution itself. I there's value

00:22:52.600 in being married for me. A lot of guys really, really resist that. And the number one thing I

00:22:59.800 hear from men is, well, I don't need a piece of paper to say that I'm, I'm committed. And guys,

00:23:04.800 it's really not about the piece of paper. When you, when you get married, you have a marriage ceremony,

00:23:10.380 you're, you're marking something. You're saying this is important enough that we honor it.

00:23:16.840 We acknowledge it. We recognize it. We make commitments to each other. And I think that

00:23:24.460 you're probably going to have a more successful marriage or relationship. If you're willing to go

00:23:31.660 through that process, it isn't about the piece of paper. It isn't about being recognized by the

00:23:36.640 government, but I'll tell you the more the government specifically, the family court system

00:23:41.280 stacks themselves against men in, in family courts and custody hearings, the less likely it is that

00:23:49.780 men are going to want to get married. And then we're going to have a lot of children being born 1.00

00:23:54.920 out of wedlock. And then you're going to have a lot of little Timmy's and Tommy's and Susie's running

00:23:59.240 around without dad in the picture. And that's unfortunate. There's been studies that suggest that

00:24:05.480 there's really a few basic, basic, uh, actions that you can do that will all, but ensure your

00:24:15.500 success in life. Number one, graduate high school. That goes to the conversation and the question

00:24:19.940 earlier. Uh, number two, don't have kids until you're married. Uh, and then number three, I believe

00:24:25.340 is find meaningful or, or find, uh, find work, just have, get a job. So it's those three things.

00:24:32.520 Uh, so I'm a little worried when I hear people that are having children outside of wedlock. 0.88

00:24:38.020 Um, it's, I don't think it's good for the kids and, and I don't think it's good for society.

00:24:42.940 So we're going to see less and less people getting married. We're going to see less and

00:24:46.540 less people having children. Uh, so that's something we'll certainly have to deal with 1.00

00:24:51.480 and contend with as, uh, as this moves along and the family court system stacked against men.

00:24:56.780 And then there's a, there's frankly, there's a lot of degeneracy as well, you know, like sleep

00:25:00.420 around with a bunch of women and, um, not really worried about the consequences and, and, and treat

00:25:06.260 women, you know, less than they, they deserve to be treated and take advantage of them, manipulate 1.00

00:25:10.860 that sort of thing too. And that's unfortunate. Uh, I think if you're tuned into this podcast, 0.65

00:25:15.320 that's, that's likely not you guys, but that is pretty prevalent and it's not good.

00:25:19.640 All right. This one comes from, uh, Thomas Marcel Dale. He says, is it worth getting testosterone

00:25:29.580 tested? Even as a younger man, I've seen people talking about being on TRT, uh, because they did

00:25:35.060 a test that was low and then swearing by it. You know, I I've heard a lot of this. I'm, I'm not an

00:25:40.840 expert on this stuff. Uh, there is a good book called, I think it's called master.

00:25:49.640 Mastering your tea, mastering your tea. I've got it right up there. It's a blue book.

00:25:53.860 I'll check it out and post it on Instagram or in the Facebook group. But, uh, yeah, you

00:25:58.500 should definitely read up on it before you do it. But, but I think getting it tested.

00:26:01.800 Yeah, sure. I, I don't think there's anything wrong with getting it tested so you can get

00:26:04.960 an idea of where your testosterone levels are. Cause if they're low, then you need to address

00:26:08.800 that. And there's ways to do that, uh, naturally, and you should certainly explore that

00:26:14.060 route. And then there's, uh, there's treatment as well. So I think both have their

00:26:19.120 merit. I know a lot of guys on therapy and, uh, they also swear by it, but you know, that

00:26:24.040 makes sense. You have more testosterone, you can build muscle faster. Your, your sex drive

00:26:28.500 increases, uh, you're able to lose weight. You have the energy you need. So testosterone

00:26:33.820 is a good thing. And if you're, if you're getting injected into you, then, you know, that's,

00:26:38.140 that's going to expedite the process. So there's, there's value I think there. Um, but talk

00:26:43.420 with your medical professional, read the book, mastering your tea and, uh, come to the

00:26:47.560 conclusions that you think are, are necessary. Okay. Troy Dotson, any tips for becoming a

00:26:53.260 first time homeowner as a young man? Yes, I do. Uh, what I would suggest to you is that

00:27:00.600 when you're looking at homes and, and let's say you have a ballpark mortgage figure, a

00:27:06.180 mortgage monthly mortgage, and, uh, let's just say for the sake of argument, it's a $1,500

00:27:10.640 a month. Well, then you need to start putting away $1,500 a month right now today. Let's

00:27:17.860 say your rent at this point is a thousand dollars a month. And I came to you and I said, Hey,

00:27:22.520 your mortgage is going to be 1500. You're looking for a home. Why don't you just go ahead and

00:27:25.640 put that extra 500, the difference between your $1,000 rent and the $1,500 mortgage, and

00:27:30.980 just go ahead and put that in a side fund. What I've actually heard a lot of people say

00:27:34.420 is, well, I can't, I can't afford to put an extra $500 into a side fund. Okay. Then you

00:27:38.600 don't have any right to buy a home and have this $1,500 mortgage because you can't afford

00:27:45.420 to do that. So that's number one, number two, $1,500 for the mortgage. Isn't really what

00:27:51.840 the cost of the house is going to be for you on a monthly basis. It's probably going to

00:27:55.080 be more like 17 or 1800. You're going to have mortgage. You can have a interest principle

00:28:01.580 taxes, homeowners insurance. So you're going to have all these other things. You also might

00:28:07.400 have mortgage insurance on top of that. And then you're going to have repairs, maintenance,

00:28:13.940 costs, upgrades, et cetera, et cetera. So don't think that just because you're going to afford

00:28:19.460 a $1,500 mortgage that you're in the, you're in the clear, you might not be, it might be

00:28:23.700 18 or 1900 or $2,000 that you actually need to have on a monthly basis to plan for these

00:28:29.020 things. So make sure that you're setting that stuff aside. Let's say your mortgage is

00:28:33.360 $1,500, take three or $400 extra a month, set it into a homeowner's fund. And here's

00:28:38.140 the beauty in 12 months. Let's say you've got three, four or five grand in there. You

00:28:41.820 haven't used any of it. Okay. Maybe you pull out a thousand and you know, you have, you

00:28:46.500 buy something, you make a purchase, you pay off some other debt because you haven't used

00:28:52.220 it for home repairs or maintenance. Congratulations. Still your money. You can do something else

00:28:56.840 with it. You can redeploy it. Outside of that, I would say start getting good or at least

00:29:02.320 training up. Maybe it's YouTube or practicing with other buddies who own houses on basic

00:29:07.600 home repairs. I'm talking about basic electrical, basic plumbing, lighting fixtures, some basic

00:29:14.280 maybe trim work around the house, just little things that you can do on your own and figure

00:29:17.820 out how to do. Cause you don't want to have to call a plumber every time your toilet isn't

00:29:22.540 working. You don't have to call an electrician every time something, you know, minor is tripped

00:29:27.720 up with a wire or a light's not working. Like you want to be able to take care of that

00:29:31.180 stuff yourself. So read up, study up practice, and then get yourself. I don't know where you

00:29:37.220 are in this category, but get yourself a nice set of tools, a diversified, well-rounded

00:29:42.920 set of tools that is going to be good for home repairs that you can do on your own. And

00:29:47.820 there's a lot of pride that comes with that as well, right? If you got to fix the toilet

00:29:51.200 or fix, patch a hole in the wall and, and you don't have to call anybody to do it. You're

00:29:55.460 able to do it yourself. You know, you get it done and you think, man, this is awesome.

00:29:58.120 I can do it myself. So that's something I'd recommend as well. All right, guys, how we

00:30:03.200 doing on time? We're doing a rapid fire today. We're only going to go about half the time

00:30:07.020 we normally do. So we're about the 30 minute mark. So I'll take a couple more and then we

00:30:10.800 will call it quits. All right. This one comes from Lance Wallace. He says, any advice or

00:30:17.700 resources to utilize, uh, that would help get my accountant wife on board with overhauling 1.00

00:30:23.980 our finances. Interesting. She's an accountant, but maybe she's not interested in overhauling

00:30:29.400 your finances. That's interesting. Since listening to the podcast, watching expert videos, Dave Ramsey,

00:30:34.480 for example, and reading finance books like rich dad, poor dad, my entire view and outlook

00:30:38.840 on money has changed. I'm trying to come up with something to introduce her to, or a research,

00:30:44.260 a resource to show her what I've learned and get her on board with the changes I want to make,

00:30:48.200 but her attention span is short. So I'm finding it difficult for my words to resonate with

00:30:53.080 her and get my point across. Any resources advice would be greatly appreciated. Love the show.

00:30:57.440 Thanks guys. Hmm. Well, she's not on board right now. And, and I would almost bet it's not that she's

00:31:04.940 not on board with what you want to do. She might just be bored with it. Maybe she talks about money

00:31:09.140 all day long and doesn't want to talk about it when she gets home. Kind of like the mechanic who drives

00:31:14.040 the beater or the landscaper who has, uh, who has grass issues in his front yard. So, so focused on

00:31:21.600 fixing everybody else's stuff that he never has time for his own. Uh, but what I would do is I

00:31:26.240 would talk about the benefits more so than the strategies. You know, you're probably talking to

00:31:31.200 her about the strategies of, you know, here's what, here's how we're going to invest and, and here's

00:31:35.820 where, what funds we're going to put them into. And here's how we're going to do the debt snowball,

00:31:39.320 which is Dave Ramsey's thing. And, you know, here, here's how we're going to execute this. And she might

00:31:44.380 gloss over and be like, I don't care about this. It's not that she doesn't care about the benefits 0.70

00:31:51.320 of it. She just might not care about how it's implemented. So instead, maybe what you ought to

00:31:57.080 do is talk about, Hey, imagine this hunt. Imagine us being out of debt completely and taking that

00:32:02.720 vacation that we've always wanted to take, or imagine us getting out of debt and being in the

00:32:07.520 position where we can remodel, uh, the, the nursery or the kids' room, like you've always wanted to do,

00:32:13.400 or remodel a room for you so that you could have a place in the house. That's all yours.

00:32:18.960 So now you're talking about it from a benefit perspective for her, and then making sure that

00:32:25.320 you guys are on the same page. Cause she might just give you full authority. She might say,

00:32:30.560 great, good. Yes. I actually liked that idea. Go ahead and take care of it. And then you don't

00:32:34.800 have to win her over on how you're going to do it necessarily. Although you want to keep her in the

00:32:38.560 loop, you just let her know what's in it for her, how it can be beneficial. And she might just say,

00:32:44.780 fine, good, do it. And you're off to the races. All right. Let's take one more here. A lot of

00:32:52.840 homeowner questions. Michael Ward's asking for advice from new homeowner. I just, uh, mentioned

00:32:58.440 some of those things. Here's one Dave Lynch. This'll be the last question of the day guys. And we'll do

00:33:03.800 another one of these next week. What are some unique activities that build mental toughness

00:33:09.540 and resilience, cold showers, et cetera. Yeah. I think cold showers are good. Um, any cold water

00:33:15.520 introduction. Wim Hof has some great things to share on that. He's got a book and he's got a,

00:33:20.640 I think a free app on, on breathing and things like that. So that's good. You should be doing that

00:33:24.840 stuff. Uh, but I would say being disciplined to work out and exercise every day. Uh, I would say

00:33:30.860 speaking in public is something that can build mental toughness and resilience because most

00:33:35.940 people don't want to do that. So if you actually go do that, then you're building that mental

00:33:40.400 fortitude. And then you're also developing a skill that's going to serve you well to be able to speak

00:33:44.780 in public. Uh, I would also say, uh, different physical challenges. So maybe it's a tough mudder 1.00

00:33:53.940 or a Spartan race. Uh, maybe it's signing up for CrossFit, but I would say if, if anything is scaring

00:34:01.880 you, you're a little afraid of doing, maybe that's jujitsu, or maybe that's taking on a new project.

00:34:07.560 That's a little outside of your wheelhouse. If it's scaring you a little bit, I would say that

00:34:12.020 might actually be a factor in an indicator that maybe you should pursue it. Maybe not, but maybe

00:34:17.400 all I'm saying is that you ought to listen to what your fears are and, and think, okay, is this fear

00:34:24.700 that I'm experiencing right now going to kill me? So I need to be aware of that. Or is it just going

00:34:29.660 to push me outside of my comfort zone? And if you analyze your fear that way, which is the reason we

00:34:34.640 have emotions, people will say, well, that's, you know, those are negative emotions, fear and anger

00:34:39.300 and greed and resentment. No, they're, they're not negative emotions. Fear is not a negative emotion.

00:34:45.060 It's a, it's a positive emotion. It's, it's there to serve you. Now, if you use it incorrectly

00:34:51.680 or you misinterpret what, what your, what your emotions are trying to tell you, like, be wary

00:34:58.500 of, you know, jumping off of a cliff, then yeah. Okay. You didn't use that emotion correctly,

00:35:03.720 but emotions are tools. That's all they are. You know, so many people say, oh, we shouldn't,

00:35:08.820 we shouldn't be emotional. Don't be overly emotional. That that's true. Don't be overly emotional,

00:35:12.160 but also don't close out how you feel about things. Feel it, embrace it, acknowledge it,

00:35:20.600 then try to interpret it. And if it's fear that you're feeling or experiencing, is it, okay,

00:35:27.060 don't jump off that cliff. That's something I would probably listen to my fear in that case,

00:35:31.700 or is it, Hey, don't go speak at Toastmasters or Rotary or one of these organizations because

00:35:37.920 people are going to, you know, look at you funny and you're, it's going to be hard for you. Okay.

00:35:41.940 Well, that's something maybe I ought to run towards because that's good for me. And we can all determine

00:35:48.080 whether or not an activity is good for us or not. So there's some ideas. All right, guys,

00:35:54.380 that's it for today. A lot of great questions. I know we did rapid fire. Uh, we're going to come

00:35:59.660 back next week and do some more of these. Cause it looks like we have another, I don't know,

00:36:03.160 20 or 30 questions that we need to get through here. So we're going to try to get to them all.

00:36:09.140 Keep asking those great questions, stay engaged with what you're doing. I think part of being a

00:36:13.840 man is just being present, being engaged, being excited about life, being assertive and doing

00:36:21.220 what you can to improve your life, other people's lives, and the scenario you find yourself in.

00:36:27.340 That's what we're all about here. So, uh, leave me a rating and review guys, if you would,

00:36:32.080 that goes a long way in promoting what we're doing here, check out the battle ready program.

00:36:35.500 I talked about earlier, order of man.com slash battle ready. And above all, just get after it.

00:36:41.120 All right, guys, we'll be back on Friday until then go out there, take action and become the man

00:36:47.140 you are meant to be. Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast. You're ready to take

00:36:51.900 charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the order

00:36:56.540 at order of man.com.

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A Man's Role as Leader in His Home, Strategies for Implementing What You Read, and Looking for the Third Alternative ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

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