Order of Man


A Man's Role as Leader in His Home, Strategies for Implementing What You Read, and Looking for the Third Alternative ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING


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Harmful content

Misogyny

13

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Hate speech

6

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Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we discuss the importance of being a leader in your home and the role that a man should play in that role. We also discuss the role of women in being leaders in their home and how they can be better leaders than their husbands.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart
00:00:05.000 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.
00:00:10.500 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong. This is your life. This is who
00:00:17.240 you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,
00:00:22.800 you can call yourself a man. Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Michler.
00:00:27.760 I'm the host and the founder of the Order of Man podcast and movement. Now, we've done over,
00:00:32.140 gosh, it's probably been 750 plus episodes at this point. You know what we're all about,
00:00:36.640 but if you are just new, you're just visiting us, hearing this podcast for the first time,
00:00:40.760 this is one of three podcasts that we do every single week, and this is your Ask Me Anything.
00:00:46.620 So, we're fielding questions from our Facebook group, which can be found at facebook.com slash
00:00:51.880 groups slash Order of Man. Sometimes we're fielding questions from Instagram. Sometimes we're
00:00:57.540 fielding questions from our exclusive brotherhood, the Iron Council, which can be found at orderofman.com
00:01:03.020 slash Iron Council. And today, I am writing solo again. Sometimes I'm, usually I'm joined by my
00:01:10.020 co-host and friend, Kip Sorensen, but we've been a little sporadic lately as we've gotten into spring
00:01:15.620 and summer. So, sometimes you'll get him, sometimes you'll get me, sometimes you'll get both of us,
00:01:20.020 and we'll let you decide which is the better host. These ones come directly from Facebook. We
00:01:27.260 solicited, if I can say that word, solicited some questions from you last week or a couple of weeks
00:01:34.080 ago, and I want to make sure I get to the follow-up, the ones that we have not yet got to. So,
00:01:39.040 we'll get into that in here just in a minute. Guys, before we do, just want to mention our free
00:01:43.760 Battle Ready course program that's available if you go to orderofman.com slash Battle Ready.
00:01:49.300 It's going to walk you through the tools, the frameworks, questions. You have some challenges
00:01:53.980 that are going to help you accomplish more in your life. It's going to give you a path and a track to
00:02:00.620 run on. And it's not my path. It's not another man's path. It's our framework, but it's all designed
00:02:05.540 to help you create your own path towards progress and growth and expansion and becoming a better man,
00:02:10.780 which is what you should be doing, not taking it directly from me or anybody else,
00:02:16.080 using frameworks that work from other successful men, implementing it in your own way,
00:02:21.500 and then making it your own. So, check out that free course at orderofman.com slash Battle Ready.
00:02:27.160 All right, guys. With that said, let's get into the questions. The first one today comes from Joshua
00:02:32.540 Thompson. He says this, it seems that every time you post something in the group about men being leaders
00:02:39.540 in their home or being better at presiding in their home, there's a lot of controversy within
00:02:43.960 the group. Why do you think that is? From your view, what part of the message are people not
00:02:48.020 understanding? How much of the controversy revolves around the application of idea versus the actual
00:02:53.720 idea itself? I actually don't see a whole lot of this controversy. I guess it's proportionate.
00:03:01.120 You know, it just comes with the territory. Maybe I'm just used to seeing people who don't always
00:03:05.080 agree. And that's fine. You know, we can have disagreements and see things from a different
00:03:09.600 perspective as long as we're all going to be civil about it. But if there is any disagreement,
00:03:14.220 I would imagine most of it comes from the application of the idea. Now, there is a lot of
00:03:21.480 new, I call it new age thinking, that says that men aren't necessarily the leader. Or, you know,
00:03:28.480 what a lot of guys will do is they'll say, they'll assume that just because I'm talking about the man
00:03:32.660 being the leader in the home, that he's some sort of tyrannical patriarch of the home, that his wife 0.79
00:03:39.360 doesn't have a say and that she doesn't get to communicate or she doesn't get to lead in her own 0.83
00:03:44.320 right. And that's not at all what I'm saying. When I talk about the man being the leader of the home,
00:03:48.760 my wife has plenty of say. And I turn to her often for advice and insight. And I value her opinion when
00:03:55.940 it comes to leading our family well. I think the buck stops with me. So ultimately, I have to make
00:04:02.280 the decisions that are going to be in my family's best interest. My wife honors that. She respects
00:04:07.560 that. But that's also because I've earned the right in her eyes to be able to do that. So some people
00:04:15.540 will say, even men listening to this podcast, that's antiquated thinking. It's outdated. It's
00:04:21.280 stereotypical gender roles, all this kind of stuff, which I don't buy into. There's a lot of that
00:04:26.780 nonsense going around. So even those individuals have infiltrated our Facebook group and other
00:04:31.460 elements of what we're doing. And that's fine. Again, we can have disagreements about it. But
00:04:35.880 again, if there is a disagreement, I think it's going to come more from the application of the
00:04:41.360 principle. How do we effectively lead? What does it actually mean to be a leader in the home versus
00:04:47.040 the concept of men being leaders generally in the home? I think most people who have followed us
00:04:54.700 for any amount of time would agree with that. And if you don't agree with that, well, that is one of
00:04:59.820 the foundational principles of what makes a man a man. So if you don't agree that men should be leading
00:05:06.620 their families and their businesses and their communities well, probably not the best place
00:05:10.600 for you because this is one of the principles that we operate under. So that's what I think.
00:05:15.080 All right, here we go. Let's go to Adam Mitchell. This is one that gets brought up a lot, guys.
00:05:20.620 And I always answer these questions because it needs to be reiterated. So here it is. Is it more
00:05:26.160 important to go after a job that pays highly but isn't in a field you're pursuing or go into a field
00:05:33.380 that interests you making less money? This is what is known as a false dichotomy, that it's only one
00:05:43.380 or the other. You can go into a career path that pays you well, but you're going to be miserable
00:05:48.200 or not interested in it. Or you can find something that interests you, that you love, that you're
00:05:54.760 excited about, that doesn't pay well. Well, there might be another option here that we're overlooking.
00:06:02.480 And that option might be that you can find a career path that interests you, that you're engaged in,
00:06:08.160 that you're pursuing, that you're excited about. And you can also make a lot of money. And you can
00:06:13.780 also have the freedom and flexibility to spend time with your family and your friends and going
00:06:17.700 on adventures and partaking in the other, the things that you want to do in life. And I would say
00:06:23.960 that's probably what you ought to be pursuing. Now there's seasons for everything. I've done
00:06:27.940 everything from electrical work, heating and air, pizza delivery, landscaping. I mean,
00:06:34.960 I've done it all. Retail, financial planning, and some of those I was more excited about than others.
00:06:41.940 So it's taken me a long time to get to the point now where I'm in a career path with order of man
00:06:47.020 that I'm engaged in, that I'm excited about, that I wake up every day thinking about,
00:06:52.340 that I want to continue down the path. And at this point, six years into this thing,
00:06:56.520 it's fairly lucrative. I've made more money doing this than I have in any other job,
00:07:03.340 including owning my own financial planning practice. So I think we need to be careful of
00:07:08.260 the false dichotomies. We need to be careful of trapping ourselves or pigeonholing ourselves into
00:07:12.840 being miserable for money or being satisfied with our work and broke. Look for the third option,
00:07:21.500 the best of both worlds, which is satisfied with your work and also making a lot of money.
00:07:28.040 Now, means to an end? Yeah. Sometimes you got to do work that sucks because you got to put food on
00:07:31.840 the table. And that's what men do too. But that isn't the end in and of itself. That's just the
00:07:36.140 means to the end, which is a better position all around. All right. This one comes from Chris
00:07:41.360 Coep or Coep. He says, my 17-year-old son is doing his absolute best not to graduate next year by
00:07:47.980 skipping school and not completing his work when he does go. I keep preaching on the importance of
00:07:53.540 graduating and pushing for him to go to school, but it only seems to drive us further apart. He says,
00:07:58.280 he just wants to be a man and be done with school. At what point do you think it's good to just let
00:08:03.560 him go his own way and see if he sinks or swims? You know, I actually agree with part of what your
00:08:09.260 son has said. He just wants to be a man and done with school. I get that. I understand that. I can
00:08:14.760 resonate with that. I know when I was 17, 16, 17, 18 years old, I was a junior and a senior in high
00:08:20.300 school. I was ready. I was done. I mean, I was taking classes that just were not important. A lot of
00:08:26.380 them were just elective classes just to, you know, get the credits, but they weren't really
00:08:30.120 actually going towards any meaningful education or schooling. So I was so pissed off and ready to
00:08:36.240 be done. And that actually is a good sign of independence. Again, I go back to means to an
00:08:41.720 end. Maybe you've already explained this to him, Chris, but hey, look, if you want to be a man,
00:08:45.600 sometimes a man does what he needs to do. And it's not always going to be fun and it's not always
00:08:51.360 going to be enjoyable, but your life is going to be better if you put your nose down and your head down
00:08:55.900 and you get to work and you take the last, what, two months, three months, maybe. I don't even
00:09:01.240 think it's that. Well, I guess maybe he's a junior, so he's got school next year too. So tell him, put
00:09:08.020 his head down, tell him you're going to help him out. If he wants to do other things, maybe he wants
00:09:12.280 to start looking into a trade school or he wants to do some sort of an internship with somebody this
00:09:18.300 summer, but maybe give him a taste of what is to come as he's in between his junior and senior
00:09:25.060 year. I'm assuming that's the case. That way he can maybe get a break and a respite from the formal
00:09:30.440 education and get into the real world, feel like he's providing, and that might scratch the itch for
00:09:35.900 another year. And then you explain to him that, hey, let's lock it in for the next six to seven,
00:09:43.440 eight months. Let's dial this in. Let's get it done. I'm going to help you. I'm going to be here to
00:09:47.580 support you. And then I'm going to help you get off to the races. But I think maybe this summer
00:09:53.420 break here might be a good opportunity for him to get a job, to do an internship, to do some of
00:10:00.560 these things I said. And that might give him a taste of independence. And I think we should as
00:10:05.760 best we can honor some of that. All right. Next one, Kurt Leach. He says, what strategies do you use
00:10:13.840 to take learning from books that you read and implement them into your daily life? When I read
00:10:19.220 from self-help genre, the books, I have so much useful info that I feel overwhelmed because there's
00:10:25.100 a lot of things I'd like to incorporate. Yeah, I get this, man. And I actually used to be one of
00:10:30.400 those guys who would pride myself on just reading as many books as possible. What I started to do
00:10:37.120 lately is not read as many books and go deeper into fewer books. That way I can actually apply the
00:10:44.200 information that I think is useful. And so I pick up only books that I'm interested in or something
00:10:51.160 specific that I need work on. If I want to learn how to communicate better for the podcast, for example,
00:10:55.560 then I'll pick up a book on communication. If I need to learn how to better run the day-to-day
00:11:01.800 operations of the business, then I'm going to pick up something along those lines. So I'm hyper-focused
00:11:07.160 on the books that I am picking out based on my needs, not what other people tell me I should read.
00:11:12.600 Because I get suggestions every single day. And if I read all those books, quite literally, I'd have
00:11:18.520 no time for anything else and I wouldn't implement any of it. So be selective on the books that you're
00:11:23.920 choosing. And then one thing I do is a strategy for reading books. You can see if you're watching
00:11:29.080 this on YouTube at orderofman.com or excuse me, youtube.com slash orderofman is I've got a bunch of
00:11:34.640 books behind me. What I do when I read a book is I will read the book with usually a pink or yellow
00:11:39.740 highlighter. And if I see a segment or a sentence or a thought that I like for whatever reason,
00:11:46.560 I'll go ahead and highlight that sentence. And then I'll just do a little dog ear on the book
00:11:50.660 itself. So I'll get all the way through the book. Then when I'm all the way through the book,
00:11:55.300 I go back and I pull up the dog eared pages and I look at what I had written down or what I had
00:12:01.820 highlighted. And then I might take some notes or figure out a way to actually incorporate that into my
00:12:06.460 day, which leads me to the next point that you actually have to have a daily strategy.
00:12:11.760 So if you're not using something like, let me grab this here. It's always sitting on my desk.
00:12:16.740 If you're not using something like our battle planner or a blank notepad, which I also have here,
00:12:21.840 or some other system that you happen to use and you're not planning out every single day,
00:12:26.780 it's going to be a lot harder for you to incorporate good ideas because there's no outlet for them.
00:12:32.280 It's like, you know, three tips you pick up from a book. You're like, oh yeah, I really want to do
00:12:36.460 that. Cool. Tell me how. Well, I don't know. Okay. You don't have a system in place to incorporate
00:12:40.400 it, but if you pulled one, one interesting tidbit or one strategy out of a book, and then you
00:12:46.960 incorporated that into your 12 week battle plan. And you said for the next 90 days, I'm going to do
00:12:51.240 this one thing every day for the next 90 days. Obviously you're going to have more success implementing
00:12:57.420 what's in the book. So have, have a system for the book itself, have a system for incorporation,
00:13:03.500 and maybe don't read so much, get hyper-focused on what you are reading, uh, and go deep instead of
00:13:09.200 wide on the books and information you're consuming. Jake Lenahan says, what is the greatest lesson
00:13:15.060 learned from your podcast adventure? I don't know if there's a one great lesson that sticks out. Um,
00:13:23.320 you know, I would say a couple of things. Number one, just take risks. I should have started this
00:13:30.200 podcast years earlier because I had the idea to do it, but I sat on the idea for a while and
00:13:34.880 contemplated and molded over and hemmed and hawed about why I should or shouldn't and came up with
00:13:39.800 excuses and justifications as to what I was doing was the right path. And I think I would have taken
00:13:44.580 the risk earlier. Um, but there's also risk in, especially early on asking powerful people to come
00:13:50.700 on my podcast. I was a little intimidated about asking certain people to come on and I would drag 0.97
00:13:56.740 my feet and I wouldn't ask. And eventually when I, you know, I've grew the balls to ask those
00:14:01.440 individuals, a lot of them said yes. And, and I'm kicking myself. I wish I would have just asked
00:14:06.560 earlier and got over myself and got over my fear of, of, uh, of being, you know, turned down and
00:14:12.780 in rejection, like a lot of us have. So take some risks. Uh, don't, don't be afraid to pursue
00:14:17.800 something. Also don't chase the money. You know, I, obviously this draws into the question
00:14:23.100 we had earlier, but you know, money is a factor and, and our ability to provide financially
00:14:27.820 for ourselves and our families are important. So, uh, you know, you can figure out a way to
00:14:32.600 make money really doing anything at this point, uh, including podcasting. A lot of people ask,
00:14:39.680 you know, well, you podcast, well, what's your real job? Well, this is my real job. I'm a professional,
00:14:44.160 meaning I get paid for the work that I do, but that took some time to build out the network,
00:14:48.800 to gain some credibility and influence with men like yourself. Uh, and, and, and, but once we did,
00:14:56.620 then, you know, we're off to the races. So that's what I would say as far as the greatest lessons
00:15:00.280 learned. And there's so many of them. I mean, I've interviewed, I think almost 350 incredible men at
00:15:05.240 this point. How could I say there's one great lesson when I've had so many incredible opportunities
00:15:10.460 to have conversations with these guys. All right. Forgive the, uh, motorcycle there in,
00:15:16.680 in the background. I've got the windows open cause here in Maine, it's getting a little warm. So the
00:15:20.120 windows are open. The fan is, is, is pumping and you're going to either hear, uh, motorcycles or,
00:15:26.000 uh, semi trucks, logging trucks that are coming down, uh, with their, with their loads. So you might
00:15:30.400 hear that occasionally. Uh, Billy Huckle says I have two boys under 18 months old. Wow. I feel for you.
00:15:38.020 Uh, I don't know if, I mean, I'm, I think if they were twins, you would have said so, but just the
00:15:42.500 fact that they're so close together, man, that's, that's hard. Uh, and I want to help my wife as
00:15:47.740 much as possible. What's the best way to give her a break? I mean, really the best thing you can do,
00:15:55.140 she can't be away from the kids for too long. I don't know if she's breastfeeding and how that 1.00
00:15:59.460 dynamic works for you guys. Really. She can't be away for too long, but if it were me, what I would do
00:16:04.860 is I would encourage her to get together with her siblings or her parents or her friends and say,
00:16:11.300 Hey, let me take the, uh, the boys for the next, you know, three, four hours. Um, or, or let her, 0.76
00:16:17.500 she might just want to stay at home and relax and read a book or lay on the hammock or do nothing. 0.99
00:16:22.720 Or, or maybe she wants to even clean the house. Maybe she's wanted to clean the house, but she can't
00:16:27.500 because she's got two little boys running around and destroying everything and leaving this wake of, 0.95
00:16:33.220 of, of destruction in their path. And she, she has to clean up as fast as they are. Yeah. As fast
00:16:38.820 as they can make it. So, um, maybe you just take them, you know, Hey, Hey, I'm going to go, uh,
00:16:43.940 I'm going to go hang out with the guys. We're going to watch the game. I'm going to bring the
00:16:46.560 boys with me. We're going to have a good time. And don't worry. You know, I'm going to watch them.
00:16:49.760 We're going to take care of them. All is good, but I'm going to be gone for a couple hours.
00:16:52.680 And so, uh, you guys, you know, have to it or take them and do miniature golf or something.
00:16:58.360 There's things that you can do. And maybe it's just an hour or two hours and you don't ask her,
00:17:03.900 you just say, Hey hon, you know, on Saturday, uh, from 12 to two, I'm going to take the boys,
00:17:07.800 uh, and we're going to go do miniature golf or we're going to go to the game or even the high
00:17:13.900 school game. And we're going to watch even just go to the park. So just take a couple hours.
00:17:18.620 Don't worry about us. We'll be back at two. Love you. Have fun. Good luck. And, and I think
00:17:24.060 she would really appreciate that. At least my, uh, my wife would. All right. Uh, Michael Fitzgerald,
00:17:30.840 he says, where did you purchase your canoe plans and kit? So, uh, a lot of you guys know I'm building
00:17:37.120 a canoe. In fact, right before this recording, um, we just glassed the inside hall. So when I'm done with
00:17:43.340 the recording, I have to go put the second coat of epoxy on the inside hall. Um, I used a program
00:17:48.280 or a company called bear mountain boats and, uh, they've been really, really good to work with. So
00:17:53.700 they, there's some instructional videos with Nick Offerman. Uh, there obviously you can buy the wood
00:17:59.600 that you need. Um, the wood it's, you know, people say kit it's kit doesn't quite paint it correctly
00:18:07.580 cause it's not really a kit. I mean, you have plans and you have the wood that you need, but you still
00:18:13.680 need to put everything together. You still need to cut the wood. You still need to build the strong
00:18:17.380 back, which is the bench. The canoe is made on. So there's, there's a lot to it. Uh, but bear
00:18:23.240 mountain, um, boats is, is the resource that I've used. And like I said, they've been very helpful.
00:18:29.720 Uh, I really don't know exactly how much I've put into the canoe cost wise and, and time wise. Cause
00:18:36.420 I did that by design. It was something I didn't really want to think too much about. I just wanted
00:18:42.860 to focus on building the canoe, doing it right and being present with my oldest son as we built it.
00:18:47.000 So, but it seems like we're probably, I would say three to $4,000 between the wood and everything
00:18:53.060 else, uh, and the plans and the tools that we've needed that I didn't have. I don't know how many
00:18:59.120 hours we started January 1st. So here we are, uh, middle of June. So, uh, you know, it's, it's taken
00:19:06.100 to six and a half months at this point. So bear mountain boats, check them out. Cordell Neely, have
00:19:12.900 you ever been on vacation in Florida? If so, what are you some recommendations? Uh, I don't even need
00:19:18.220 to answer that second question. Cause I, well, I have been once actually, now that I think of it
00:19:22.860 years and years ago, my wife, uh, she was doing an internship with an organization and they had a big
00:19:29.400 conference down there in Florida. And if I remember correctly, I went down after the conference was over
00:19:34.540 and met her and we did the whole Disney world thing. Uh, I don't really remember much of it
00:19:39.120 other than doing Disney world and that sort of thing. So I don't know. I'm not your guy. There's
00:19:43.740 other people who can probably answer that better. Cause I just haven't been on vacation a lot, let
00:19:48.080 alone in Florida. Uh, interesting topic to me is some tips on how to combine finances after getting
00:19:54.400 married. You know, there's a lot of different ways to do it. This comes from Joe Gully. Uh, there's a
00:19:58.400 lot of different ways to do it. I know, I know particular families that, that keep things separate
00:20:03.660 and the wife has some responsibilities and obligations to pay certain things. And the husband 0.78
00:20:08.620 has responsibilities and obligations to pay others. That's one way to do it. My wife and I have always
00:20:13.940 combined our accounts and we have rules in place. You know, she can spend money and I can spend money 0.96
00:20:20.180 up to a certain threshold without having to, you know, question each other or report that in. But
00:20:24.780 if I wanted to spend more money, like I wanted to buy a canoe, then of course I would, you know,
00:20:29.340 run that pastor. Uh, usually the way it works in a dynamic in a family is that one individual
00:20:34.800 better with the money than the other. So whether that's you as the husband or your wife, uh, one
00:20:39.760 person will usually take on the money management role. And I think that's fine, but we can't delegate
00:20:47.040 away the responsibility. We can delegate some authority, uh, to, to take care of that. But
00:20:54.060 ultimately we need to make sure that it's being taken care of. So whether Joe, you do it or your
00:20:59.620 wife, uh, does it and manages the books and the income and the expenses and all of that, I would
00:21:05.240 highly, highly suggest that you have a money meeting every single week. We do a month, a Monday money
00:21:11.920 meeting. It's a tongue twister Monday money meeting, uh, where my wife and I discuss what income is
00:21:18.600 coming in. Cause our income fluctuates slightly. Uh, we talk about what expenses are coming up. There
00:21:23.740 might be unforeseen expenses with the kids or the dogs or something around the house or whatever.
00:21:30.660 And, uh, we discuss that, you know, and then we also discuss what is coming up in the future
00:21:36.880 as far as expenses, maybe it's a vacation or a trip or canoe plans. And we need to plan for that. And
00:21:42.100 we just get on the same page and it's very quick at this point. It doesn't need to be a long drawn
00:21:45.720 out thing. It is very quick. Um, the other day an Airbnb charge went through on my account. I didn't
00:21:50.960 know what it was. This might sound funny to you. I was in my office. So I just shot her an email.
00:21:56.260 I forwarded it to her. I said, what's this? She saw, shot me a message back. She said, it's for
00:21:59.840 the, for the trip. I said, great done. Got it. You know? So I manage it, but I include her in on the
00:22:05.300 process. And that's important because as a financial advisor, uh, I can tell you, I've, I've talked with a
00:22:11.000 lot of wives in particular, whose husbands passed away and their husbands took care of all of the 1.00
00:22:17.300 financial stuff. And now husband is no longer in the picture. He's gone. Uh, and, and the wife is,
00:22:23.680 you know, maybe set up, but she doesn't know how to manage any of this. She doesn't know where the
00:22:28.640 investments are. She doesn't know the bank account numbers and she just doesn't have access to that 0.99
00:22:33.760 stuff. So you need to make sure she's on board and you need to be on board if she's the one who
00:22:37.760 handles it all. All right. John Tybersky says, where do I see the legal institution of marriage going
00:22:46.140 over the next five to 10 years? I mean, I don't know about the institution itself. I there's value
00:22:52.600 in being married for me. A lot of guys really, really resist that. And the number one thing I
00:22:59.800 hear from men is, well, I don't need a piece of paper to say that I'm, I'm committed. And guys,
00:23:04.800 it's really not about the piece of paper. When you, when you get married, you have a marriage ceremony,
00:23:10.380 you're, you're marking something. You're saying this is important enough that we honor it.
00:23:16.840 We acknowledge it. We recognize it. We make commitments to each other. And I think that
00:23:24.460 you're probably going to have a more successful marriage or relationship. If you're willing to go
00:23:31.660 through that process, it isn't about the piece of paper. It isn't about being recognized by the
00:23:36.640 government, but I'll tell you the more the government specifically, the family court system
00:23:41.280 stacks themselves against men in, in family courts and custody hearings, the less likely it is that
00:23:49.780 men are going to want to get married. And then we're going to have a lot of children being born 1.00
00:23:54.920 out of wedlock. And then you're going to have a lot of little Timmy's and Tommy's and Susie's running
00:23:59.240 around without dad in the picture. And that's unfortunate. There's been studies that suggest that
00:24:05.480 there's really a few basic, basic, uh, actions that you can do that will all, but ensure your
00:24:15.500 success in life. Number one, graduate high school. That goes to the conversation and the question
00:24:19.940 earlier. Uh, number two, don't have kids until you're married. Uh, and then number three, I believe
00:24:25.340 is find meaningful or, or find, uh, find work, just have, get a job. So it's those three things.
00:24:32.520 Uh, so I'm a little worried when I hear people that are having children outside of wedlock. 0.88
00:24:38.020 Um, it's, I don't think it's good for the kids and, and I don't think it's good for society.
00:24:42.940 So we're going to see less and less people getting married. We're going to see less and
00:24:46.540 less people having children. Uh, so that's something we'll certainly have to deal with 1.00
00:24:51.480 and contend with as, uh, as this moves along and the family court system stacked against men.
00:24:56.780 And then there's a, there's frankly, there's a lot of degeneracy as well, you know, like sleep
00:25:00.420 around with a bunch of women and, um, not really worried about the consequences and, and, and treat
00:25:06.260 women, you know, less than they, they deserve to be treated and take advantage of them, manipulate 1.00
00:25:10.860 that sort of thing too. And that's unfortunate. Uh, I think if you're tuned into this podcast,
00:25:15.320 that's, that's likely not you guys, but that is pretty prevalent and it's not good.
00:25:19.640 All right. This one comes from, uh, Thomas Marcel Dale. He says, is it worth getting testosterone
00:25:29.580 tested? Even as a younger man, I've seen people talking about being on TRT, uh, because they did
00:25:35.060 a test that was low and then swearing by it. You know, I I've heard a lot of this. I'm, I'm not an
00:25:40.840 expert on this stuff. Uh, there is a good book called, I think it's called master.
00:25:49.640 Mastering your tea, mastering your tea. I've got it right up there. It's a blue book.
00:25:53.860 I'll check it out and post it on Instagram or in the Facebook group. But, uh, yeah, you
00:25:58.500 should definitely read up on it before you do it. But, but I think getting it tested.
00:26:01.800 Yeah, sure. I, I don't think there's anything wrong with getting it tested so you can get
00:26:04.960 an idea of where your testosterone levels are. Cause if they're low, then you need to address
00:26:08.800 that. And there's ways to do that, uh, naturally, and you should certainly explore that
00:26:14.060 route. And then there's, uh, there's treatment as well. So I think both have their
00:26:19.120 merit. I know a lot of guys on therapy and, uh, they also swear by it, but you know, that
00:26:24.040 makes sense. You have more testosterone, you can build muscle faster. Your, your sex drive
00:26:28.500 increases, uh, you're able to lose weight. You have the energy you need. So testosterone
00:26:33.820 is a good thing. And if you're, if you're getting injected into you, then, you know, that's,
00:26:38.140 that's going to expedite the process. So there's, there's value I think there. Um, but talk
00:26:43.420 with your medical professional, read the book, mastering your tea and, uh, come to the
00:26:47.560 conclusions that you think are, are necessary. Okay. Troy Dotson, any tips for becoming a
00:26:53.260 first time homeowner as a young man? Yes, I do. Uh, what I would suggest to you is that
00:27:00.600 when you're looking at homes and, and let's say you have a ballpark mortgage figure, a
00:27:06.180 mortgage monthly mortgage, and, uh, let's just say for the sake of argument, it's a $1,500
00:27:10.640 a month. Well, then you need to start putting away $1,500 a month right now today. Let's
00:27:17.860 say your rent at this point is a thousand dollars a month. And I came to you and I said, Hey,
00:27:22.520 your mortgage is going to be 1500. You're looking for a home. Why don't you just go ahead and
00:27:25.640 put that extra 500, the difference between your $1,000 rent and the $1,500 mortgage, and
00:27:30.980 just go ahead and put that in a side fund. What I've actually heard a lot of people say
00:27:34.420 is, well, I can't, I can't afford to put an extra $500 into a side fund. Okay. Then you
00:27:38.600 don't have any right to buy a home and have this $1,500 mortgage because you can't afford
00:27:45.420 to do that. So that's number one, number two, $1,500 for the mortgage. Isn't really what
00:27:51.840 the cost of the house is going to be for you on a monthly basis. It's probably going to
00:27:55.080 be more like 17 or 1800. You're going to have mortgage. You can have a interest principle
00:28:01.580 taxes, homeowners insurance. So you're going to have all these other things. You also might
00:28:07.400 have mortgage insurance on top of that. And then you're going to have repairs, maintenance,
00:28:13.940 costs, upgrades, et cetera, et cetera. So don't think that just because you're going to afford
00:28:19.460 a $1,500 mortgage that you're in the, you're in the clear, you might not be, it might be
00:28:23.700 18 or 1900 or $2,000 that you actually need to have on a monthly basis to plan for these
00:28:29.020 things. So make sure that you're setting that stuff aside. Let's say your mortgage is
00:28:33.360 $1,500, take three or $400 extra a month, set it into a homeowner's fund. And here's
00:28:38.140 the beauty in 12 months. Let's say you've got three, four or five grand in there. You
00:28:41.820 haven't used any of it. Okay. Maybe you pull out a thousand and you know, you have, you
00:28:46.500 buy something, you make a purchase, you pay off some other debt because you haven't used
00:28:52.220 it for home repairs or maintenance. Congratulations. Still your money. You can do something else
00:28:56.840 with it. You can redeploy it. Outside of that, I would say start getting good or at least
00:29:02.320 training up. Maybe it's YouTube or practicing with other buddies who own houses on basic
00:29:07.600 home repairs. I'm talking about basic electrical, basic plumbing, lighting fixtures, some basic
00:29:14.280 maybe trim work around the house, just little things that you can do on your own and figure
00:29:17.820 out how to do. Cause you don't want to have to call a plumber every time your toilet isn't
00:29:22.540 working. You don't have to call an electrician every time something, you know, minor is tripped
00:29:27.720 up with a wire or a light's not working. Like you want to be able to take care of that
00:29:31.180 stuff yourself. So read up, study up practice, and then get yourself. I don't know where you
00:29:37.220 are in this category, but get yourself a nice set of tools, a diversified, well-rounded
00:29:42.920 set of tools that is going to be good for home repairs that you can do on your own. And
00:29:47.820 there's a lot of pride that comes with that as well, right? If you got to fix the toilet
00:29:51.200 or fix, patch a hole in the wall and, and you don't have to call anybody to do it. You're
00:29:55.460 able to do it yourself. You know, you get it done and you think, man, this is awesome.
00:29:58.120 I can do it myself. So that's something I'd recommend as well. All right, guys, how we
00:30:03.200 doing on time? We're doing a rapid fire today. We're only going to go about half the time
00:30:07.020 we normally do. So we're about the 30 minute mark. So I'll take a couple more and then we
00:30:10.800 will call it quits. All right. This one comes from Lance Wallace. He says, any advice or
00:30:17.700 resources to utilize, uh, that would help get my accountant wife on board with overhauling 1.00
00:30:23.980 our finances. Interesting. She's an accountant, but maybe she's not interested in overhauling
00:30:29.400 your finances. That's interesting. Since listening to the podcast, watching expert videos, Dave Ramsey,
00:30:34.480 for example, and reading finance books like rich dad, poor dad, my entire view and outlook
00:30:38.840 on money has changed. I'm trying to come up with something to introduce her to, or a research,
00:30:44.260 a resource to show her what I've learned and get her on board with the changes I want to make,
00:30:48.200 but her attention span is short. So I'm finding it difficult for my words to resonate with
00:30:53.080 her and get my point across. Any resources advice would be greatly appreciated. Love the show.
00:30:57.440 Thanks guys. Hmm. Well, she's not on board right now. And, and I would almost bet it's not that she's
00:31:04.940 not on board with what you want to do. She might just be bored with it. Maybe she talks about money
00:31:09.140 all day long and doesn't want to talk about it when she gets home. Kind of like the mechanic who drives
00:31:14.040 the beater or the landscaper who has, uh, who has grass issues in his front yard. So, so focused on
00:31:21.600 fixing everybody else's stuff that he never has time for his own. Uh, but what I would do is I
00:31:26.240 would talk about the benefits more so than the strategies. You know, you're probably talking to
00:31:31.200 her about the strategies of, you know, here's what, here's how we're going to invest and, and here's
00:31:35.820 where, what funds we're going to put them into. And here's how we're going to do the debt snowball,
00:31:39.320 which is Dave Ramsey's thing. And, you know, here, here's how we're going to execute this. And she might
00:31:44.380 gloss over and be like, I don't care about this. It's not that she doesn't care about the benefits 0.70
00:31:51.320 of it. She just might not care about how it's implemented. So instead, maybe what you ought to
00:31:57.080 do is talk about, Hey, imagine this hunt. Imagine us being out of debt completely and taking that
00:32:02.720 vacation that we've always wanted to take, or imagine us getting out of debt and being in the
00:32:07.520 position where we can remodel, uh, the, the nursery or the kids' room, like you've always wanted to do,
00:32:13.400 or remodel a room for you so that you could have a place in the house. That's all yours.
00:32:18.960 So now you're talking about it from a benefit perspective for her, and then making sure that
00:32:25.320 you guys are on the same page. Cause she might just give you full authority. She might say,
00:32:30.560 great, good. Yes. I actually liked that idea. Go ahead and take care of it. And then you don't
00:32:34.800 have to win her over on how you're going to do it necessarily. Although you want to keep her in the
00:32:38.560 loop, you just let her know what's in it for her, how it can be beneficial. And she might just say,
00:32:44.780 fine, good, do it. And you're off to the races. All right. Let's take one more here. A lot of
00:32:52.840 homeowner questions. Michael Ward's asking for advice from new homeowner. I just, uh, mentioned
00:32:58.440 some of those things. Here's one Dave Lynch. This'll be the last question of the day guys. And we'll do
00:33:03.800 another one of these next week. What are some unique activities that build mental toughness
00:33:09.540 and resilience, cold showers, et cetera. Yeah. I think cold showers are good. Um, any cold water
00:33:15.520 introduction. Wim Hof has some great things to share on that. He's got a book and he's got a,
00:33:20.640 I think a free app on, on breathing and things like that. So that's good. You should be doing that
00:33:24.840 stuff. Uh, but I would say being disciplined to work out and exercise every day. Uh, I would say
00:33:30.860 speaking in public is something that can build mental toughness and resilience because most
00:33:35.940 people don't want to do that. So if you actually go do that, then you're building that mental
00:33:40.400 fortitude. And then you're also developing a skill that's going to serve you well to be able to speak
00:33:44.780 in public. Uh, I would also say, uh, different physical challenges. So maybe it's a tough mudder 1.00
00:33:53.940 or a Spartan race. Uh, maybe it's signing up for CrossFit, but I would say if, if anything is scaring
00:34:01.880 you, you're a little afraid of doing, maybe that's jujitsu, or maybe that's taking on a new project.
00:34:07.560 That's a little outside of your wheelhouse. If it's scaring you a little bit, I would say that
00:34:12.020 might actually be a factor in an indicator that maybe you should pursue it. Maybe not, but maybe
00:34:17.400 all I'm saying is that you ought to listen to what your fears are and, and think, okay, is this fear
00:34:24.700 that I'm experiencing right now going to kill me? So I need to be aware of that. Or is it just going
00:34:29.660 to push me outside of my comfort zone? And if you analyze your fear that way, which is the reason we
00:34:34.640 have emotions, people will say, well, that's, you know, those are negative emotions, fear and anger
00:34:39.300 and greed and resentment. No, they're, they're not negative emotions. Fear is not a negative emotion.
00:34:45.060 It's a, it's a positive emotion. It's, it's there to serve you. Now, if you use it incorrectly
00:34:51.680 or you misinterpret what, what your, what your emotions are trying to tell you, like, be wary
00:34:58.500 of, you know, jumping off of a cliff, then yeah. Okay. You didn't use that emotion correctly,
00:35:03.720 but emotions are tools. That's all they are. You know, so many people say, oh, we shouldn't,
00:35:08.820 we shouldn't be emotional. Don't be overly emotional. That that's true. Don't be overly emotional,
00:35:12.160 but also don't close out how you feel about things. Feel it, embrace it, acknowledge it,
00:35:20.600 then try to interpret it. And if it's fear that you're feeling or experiencing, is it, okay,
00:35:27.060 don't jump off that cliff. That's something I would probably listen to my fear in that case,
00:35:31.700 or is it, Hey, don't go speak at Toastmasters or Rotary or one of these organizations because
00:35:37.920 people are going to, you know, look at you funny and you're, it's going to be hard for you. Okay.
00:35:41.940 Well, that's something maybe I ought to run towards because that's good for me. And we can all determine
00:35:48.080 whether or not an activity is good for us or not. So there's some ideas. All right, guys,
00:35:54.380 that's it for today. A lot of great questions. I know we did rapid fire. Uh, we're going to come
00:35:59.660 back next week and do some more of these. Cause it looks like we have another, I don't know,
00:36:03.160 20 or 30 questions that we need to get through here. So we're going to try to get to them all.
00:36:09.140 Keep asking those great questions, stay engaged with what you're doing. I think part of being a
00:36:13.840 man is just being present, being engaged, being excited about life, being assertive and doing
00:36:21.220 what you can to improve your life, other people's lives, and the scenario you find yourself in.
00:36:27.340 That's what we're all about here. So, uh, leave me a rating and review guys, if you would,
00:36:32.080 that goes a long way in promoting what we're doing here, check out the battle ready program.
00:36:35.500 I talked about earlier, order of man.com slash battle ready. And above all, just get after it.
00:36:41.120 All right, guys, we'll be back on Friday until then go out there, take action and become the man
00:36:47.140 you are meant to be. Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast. You're ready to take
00:36:51.900 charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the order
00:36:56.540 at order of man.com.
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