A Man's Role as Leader in His Home, Strategies for Implementing What You Read, and Looking for the Third Alternative ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING
Episode Stats
Summary
In this episode, we discuss the importance of being a leader in your home and the role that a man should play in that role. We also discuss the role of women in being leaders in their home and how they can be better leaders than their husbands.
Transcript
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You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart
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your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.
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You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong. This is your life. This is who
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you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,
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you can call yourself a man. Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Michler.
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I'm the host and the founder of the Order of Man podcast and movement. Now, we've done over,
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gosh, it's probably been 750 plus episodes at this point. You know what we're all about,
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but if you are just new, you're just visiting us, hearing this podcast for the first time,
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this is one of three podcasts that we do every single week, and this is your Ask Me Anything.
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So, we're fielding questions from our Facebook group, which can be found at facebook.com slash
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groups slash Order of Man. Sometimes we're fielding questions from Instagram. Sometimes we're
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fielding questions from our exclusive brotherhood, the Iron Council, which can be found at orderofman.com
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slash Iron Council. And today, I am writing solo again. Sometimes I'm, usually I'm joined by my
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co-host and friend, Kip Sorensen, but we've been a little sporadic lately as we've gotten into spring
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and summer. So, sometimes you'll get him, sometimes you'll get me, sometimes you'll get both of us,
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and we'll let you decide which is the better host. These ones come directly from Facebook. We
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solicited, if I can say that word, solicited some questions from you last week or a couple of weeks
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ago, and I want to make sure I get to the follow-up, the ones that we have not yet got to. So,
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we'll get into that in here just in a minute. Guys, before we do, just want to mention our free
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Battle Ready course program that's available if you go to orderofman.com slash Battle Ready.
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It's going to walk you through the tools, the frameworks, questions. You have some challenges
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that are going to help you accomplish more in your life. It's going to give you a path and a track to
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run on. And it's not my path. It's not another man's path. It's our framework, but it's all designed
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to help you create your own path towards progress and growth and expansion and becoming a better man,
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which is what you should be doing, not taking it directly from me or anybody else,
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using frameworks that work from other successful men, implementing it in your own way,
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and then making it your own. So, check out that free course at orderofman.com slash Battle Ready.
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All right, guys. With that said, let's get into the questions. The first one today comes from Joshua
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Thompson. He says this, it seems that every time you post something in the group about men being leaders
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in their home or being better at presiding in their home, there's a lot of controversy within
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the group. Why do you think that is? From your view, what part of the message are people not
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understanding? How much of the controversy revolves around the application of idea versus the actual
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idea itself? I actually don't see a whole lot of this controversy. I guess it's proportionate.
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You know, it just comes with the territory. Maybe I'm just used to seeing people who don't always
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agree. And that's fine. You know, we can have disagreements and see things from a different
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perspective as long as we're all going to be civil about it. But if there is any disagreement,
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I would imagine most of it comes from the application of the idea. Now, there is a lot of
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new, I call it new age thinking, that says that men aren't necessarily the leader. Or, you know,
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what a lot of guys will do is they'll say, they'll assume that just because I'm talking about the man
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being the leader in the home, that he's some sort of tyrannical patriarch of the home, that his wife
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doesn't have a say and that she doesn't get to communicate or she doesn't get to lead in her own
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right. And that's not at all what I'm saying. When I talk about the man being the leader of the home,
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my wife has plenty of say. And I turn to her often for advice and insight. And I value her opinion when
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it comes to leading our family well. I think the buck stops with me. So ultimately, I have to make
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the decisions that are going to be in my family's best interest. My wife honors that. She respects
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that. But that's also because I've earned the right in her eyes to be able to do that. So some people
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will say, even men listening to this podcast, that's antiquated thinking. It's outdated. It's
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stereotypical gender roles, all this kind of stuff, which I don't buy into. There's a lot of that
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nonsense going around. So even those individuals have infiltrated our Facebook group and other
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elements of what we're doing. And that's fine. Again, we can have disagreements about it. But
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again, if there is a disagreement, I think it's going to come more from the application of the
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principle. How do we effectively lead? What does it actually mean to be a leader in the home versus
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the concept of men being leaders generally in the home? I think most people who have followed us
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for any amount of time would agree with that. And if you don't agree with that, well, that is one of
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the foundational principles of what makes a man a man. So if you don't agree that men should be leading
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their families and their businesses and their communities well, probably not the best place
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for you because this is one of the principles that we operate under. So that's what I think.
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All right, here we go. Let's go to Adam Mitchell. This is one that gets brought up a lot, guys.
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And I always answer these questions because it needs to be reiterated. So here it is. Is it more
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important to go after a job that pays highly but isn't in a field you're pursuing or go into a field
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that interests you making less money? This is what is known as a false dichotomy, that it's only one
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or the other. You can go into a career path that pays you well, but you're going to be miserable
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or not interested in it. Or you can find something that interests you, that you love, that you're
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excited about, that doesn't pay well. Well, there might be another option here that we're overlooking.
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And that option might be that you can find a career path that interests you, that you're engaged in,
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that you're pursuing, that you're excited about. And you can also make a lot of money. And you can
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also have the freedom and flexibility to spend time with your family and your friends and going
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on adventures and partaking in the other, the things that you want to do in life. And I would say
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that's probably what you ought to be pursuing. Now there's seasons for everything. I've done
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everything from electrical work, heating and air, pizza delivery, landscaping. I mean,
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I've done it all. Retail, financial planning, and some of those I was more excited about than others.
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So it's taken me a long time to get to the point now where I'm in a career path with order of man
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that I'm engaged in, that I'm excited about, that I wake up every day thinking about,
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that I want to continue down the path. And at this point, six years into this thing,
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it's fairly lucrative. I've made more money doing this than I have in any other job,
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including owning my own financial planning practice. So I think we need to be careful of
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the false dichotomies. We need to be careful of trapping ourselves or pigeonholing ourselves into
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being miserable for money or being satisfied with our work and broke. Look for the third option,
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the best of both worlds, which is satisfied with your work and also making a lot of money.
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Now, means to an end? Yeah. Sometimes you got to do work that sucks because you got to put food on
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the table. And that's what men do too. But that isn't the end in and of itself. That's just the
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means to the end, which is a better position all around. All right. This one comes from Chris
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Coep or Coep. He says, my 17-year-old son is doing his absolute best not to graduate next year by
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skipping school and not completing his work when he does go. I keep preaching on the importance of
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graduating and pushing for him to go to school, but it only seems to drive us further apart. He says,
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he just wants to be a man and be done with school. At what point do you think it's good to just let
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him go his own way and see if he sinks or swims? You know, I actually agree with part of what your
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son has said. He just wants to be a man and done with school. I get that. I understand that. I can
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resonate with that. I know when I was 17, 16, 17, 18 years old, I was a junior and a senior in high
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school. I was ready. I was done. I mean, I was taking classes that just were not important. A lot of
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them were just elective classes just to, you know, get the credits, but they weren't really
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actually going towards any meaningful education or schooling. So I was so pissed off and ready to
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be done. And that actually is a good sign of independence. Again, I go back to means to an
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end. Maybe you've already explained this to him, Chris, but hey, look, if you want to be a man,
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sometimes a man does what he needs to do. And it's not always going to be fun and it's not always
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going to be enjoyable, but your life is going to be better if you put your nose down and your head down
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and you get to work and you take the last, what, two months, three months, maybe. I don't even
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think it's that. Well, I guess maybe he's a junior, so he's got school next year too. So tell him, put
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his head down, tell him you're going to help him out. If he wants to do other things, maybe he wants
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to start looking into a trade school or he wants to do some sort of an internship with somebody this
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summer, but maybe give him a taste of what is to come as he's in between his junior and senior
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year. I'm assuming that's the case. That way he can maybe get a break and a respite from the formal
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education and get into the real world, feel like he's providing, and that might scratch the itch for
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another year. And then you explain to him that, hey, let's lock it in for the next six to seven,
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eight months. Let's dial this in. Let's get it done. I'm going to help you. I'm going to be here to
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support you. And then I'm going to help you get off to the races. But I think maybe this summer
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break here might be a good opportunity for him to get a job, to do an internship, to do some of
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these things I said. And that might give him a taste of independence. And I think we should as
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best we can honor some of that. All right. Next one, Kurt Leach. He says, what strategies do you use
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to take learning from books that you read and implement them into your daily life? When I read
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from self-help genre, the books, I have so much useful info that I feel overwhelmed because there's
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a lot of things I'd like to incorporate. Yeah, I get this, man. And I actually used to be one of
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those guys who would pride myself on just reading as many books as possible. What I started to do
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lately is not read as many books and go deeper into fewer books. That way I can actually apply the
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information that I think is useful. And so I pick up only books that I'm interested in or something
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specific that I need work on. If I want to learn how to communicate better for the podcast, for example,
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then I'll pick up a book on communication. If I need to learn how to better run the day-to-day
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operations of the business, then I'm going to pick up something along those lines. So I'm hyper-focused
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on the books that I am picking out based on my needs, not what other people tell me I should read.
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Because I get suggestions every single day. And if I read all those books, quite literally, I'd have
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no time for anything else and I wouldn't implement any of it. So be selective on the books that you're
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choosing. And then one thing I do is a strategy for reading books. You can see if you're watching
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this on YouTube at orderofman.com or excuse me, youtube.com slash orderofman is I've got a bunch of
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books behind me. What I do when I read a book is I will read the book with usually a pink or yellow
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highlighter. And if I see a segment or a sentence or a thought that I like for whatever reason,
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I'll go ahead and highlight that sentence. And then I'll just do a little dog ear on the book
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itself. So I'll get all the way through the book. Then when I'm all the way through the book,
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I go back and I pull up the dog eared pages and I look at what I had written down or what I had
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highlighted. And then I might take some notes or figure out a way to actually incorporate that into my
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day, which leads me to the next point that you actually have to have a daily strategy.
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So if you're not using something like, let me grab this here. It's always sitting on my desk.
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If you're not using something like our battle planner or a blank notepad, which I also have here,
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or some other system that you happen to use and you're not planning out every single day,
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it's going to be a lot harder for you to incorporate good ideas because there's no outlet for them.
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It's like, you know, three tips you pick up from a book. You're like, oh yeah, I really want to do
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that. Cool. Tell me how. Well, I don't know. Okay. You don't have a system in place to incorporate
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it, but if you pulled one, one interesting tidbit or one strategy out of a book, and then you
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incorporated that into your 12 week battle plan. And you said for the next 90 days, I'm going to do
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this one thing every day for the next 90 days. Obviously you're going to have more success implementing
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what's in the book. So have, have a system for the book itself, have a system for incorporation,
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and maybe don't read so much, get hyper-focused on what you are reading, uh, and go deep instead of
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wide on the books and information you're consuming. Jake Lenahan says, what is the greatest lesson
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learned from your podcast adventure? I don't know if there's a one great lesson that sticks out. Um,
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you know, I would say a couple of things. Number one, just take risks. I should have started this
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podcast years earlier because I had the idea to do it, but I sat on the idea for a while and
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contemplated and molded over and hemmed and hawed about why I should or shouldn't and came up with
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excuses and justifications as to what I was doing was the right path. And I think I would have taken
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the risk earlier. Um, but there's also risk in, especially early on asking powerful people to come
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on my podcast. I was a little intimidated about asking certain people to come on and I would drag
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my feet and I wouldn't ask. And eventually when I, you know, I've grew the balls to ask those
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individuals, a lot of them said yes. And, and I'm kicking myself. I wish I would have just asked
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earlier and got over myself and got over my fear of, of, uh, of being, you know, turned down and
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in rejection, like a lot of us have. So take some risks. Uh, don't, don't be afraid to pursue
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something. Also don't chase the money. You know, I, obviously this draws into the question
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we had earlier, but you know, money is a factor and, and our ability to provide financially
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for ourselves and our families are important. So, uh, you know, you can figure out a way to
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make money really doing anything at this point, uh, including podcasting. A lot of people ask,
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you know, well, you podcast, well, what's your real job? Well, this is my real job. I'm a professional,
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meaning I get paid for the work that I do, but that took some time to build out the network,
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to gain some credibility and influence with men like yourself. Uh, and, and, and, but once we did,
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then, you know, we're off to the races. So that's what I would say as far as the greatest lessons
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learned. And there's so many of them. I mean, I've interviewed, I think almost 350 incredible men at
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this point. How could I say there's one great lesson when I've had so many incredible opportunities
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to have conversations with these guys. All right. Forgive the, uh, motorcycle there in,
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in the background. I've got the windows open cause here in Maine, it's getting a little warm. So the
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windows are open. The fan is, is, is pumping and you're going to either hear, uh, motorcycles or,
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uh, semi trucks, logging trucks that are coming down, uh, with their, with their loads. So you might
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hear that occasionally. Uh, Billy Huckle says I have two boys under 18 months old. Wow. I feel for you.
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Uh, I don't know if, I mean, I'm, I think if they were twins, you would have said so, but just the
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fact that they're so close together, man, that's, that's hard. Uh, and I want to help my wife as
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much as possible. What's the best way to give her a break? I mean, really the best thing you can do,
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she can't be away from the kids for too long. I don't know if she's breastfeeding and how that
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dynamic works for you guys. Really. She can't be away for too long, but if it were me, what I would do
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is I would encourage her to get together with her siblings or her parents or her friends and say,
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Hey, let me take the, uh, the boys for the next, you know, three, four hours. Um, or, or let her,
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she might just want to stay at home and relax and read a book or lay on the hammock or do nothing.
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Or, or maybe she wants to even clean the house. Maybe she's wanted to clean the house, but she can't
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because she's got two little boys running around and destroying everything and leaving this wake of,
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of, of destruction in their path. And she, she has to clean up as fast as they are. Yeah. As fast
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as they can make it. So, um, maybe you just take them, you know, Hey, Hey, I'm going to go, uh,
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I'm going to go hang out with the guys. We're going to watch the game. I'm going to bring the
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boys with me. We're going to have a good time. And don't worry. You know, I'm going to watch them.
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We're going to take care of them. All is good, but I'm going to be gone for a couple hours.
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And so, uh, you guys, you know, have to it or take them and do miniature golf or something.
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There's things that you can do. And maybe it's just an hour or two hours and you don't ask her,
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you just say, Hey hon, you know, on Saturday, uh, from 12 to two, I'm going to take the boys,
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uh, and we're going to go do miniature golf or we're going to go to the game or even the high
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school game. And we're going to watch even just go to the park. So just take a couple hours.
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Don't worry about us. We'll be back at two. Love you. Have fun. Good luck. And, and I think
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she would really appreciate that. At least my, uh, my wife would. All right. Uh, Michael Fitzgerald,
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he says, where did you purchase your canoe plans and kit? So, uh, a lot of you guys know I'm building
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a canoe. In fact, right before this recording, um, we just glassed the inside hall. So when I'm done with
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the recording, I have to go put the second coat of epoxy on the inside hall. Um, I used a program
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or a company called bear mountain boats and, uh, they've been really, really good to work with. So
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they, there's some instructional videos with Nick Offerman. Uh, there obviously you can buy the wood
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that you need. Um, the wood it's, you know, people say kit it's kit doesn't quite paint it correctly
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cause it's not really a kit. I mean, you have plans and you have the wood that you need, but you still
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need to put everything together. You still need to cut the wood. You still need to build the strong
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back, which is the bench. The canoe is made on. So there's, there's a lot to it. Uh, but bear
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mountain, um, boats is, is the resource that I've used. And like I said, they've been very helpful.
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Uh, I really don't know exactly how much I've put into the canoe cost wise and, and time wise. Cause
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I did that by design. It was something I didn't really want to think too much about. I just wanted
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to focus on building the canoe, doing it right and being present with my oldest son as we built it.
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So, but it seems like we're probably, I would say three to $4,000 between the wood and everything
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else, uh, and the plans and the tools that we've needed that I didn't have. I don't know how many
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hours we started January 1st. So here we are, uh, middle of June. So, uh, you know, it's, it's taken
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to six and a half months at this point. So bear mountain boats, check them out. Cordell Neely, have
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you ever been on vacation in Florida? If so, what are you some recommendations? Uh, I don't even need
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to answer that second question. Cause I, well, I have been once actually, now that I think of it
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years and years ago, my wife, uh, she was doing an internship with an organization and they had a big
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conference down there in Florida. And if I remember correctly, I went down after the conference was over
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and met her and we did the whole Disney world thing. Uh, I don't really remember much of it
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other than doing Disney world and that sort of thing. So I don't know. I'm not your guy. There's
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other people who can probably answer that better. Cause I just haven't been on vacation a lot, let
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alone in Florida. Uh, interesting topic to me is some tips on how to combine finances after getting
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married. You know, there's a lot of different ways to do it. This comes from Joe Gully. Uh, there's a
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lot of different ways to do it. I know, I know particular families that, that keep things separate
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and the wife has some responsibilities and obligations to pay certain things. And the husband
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has responsibilities and obligations to pay others. That's one way to do it. My wife and I have always
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combined our accounts and we have rules in place. You know, she can spend money and I can spend money
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up to a certain threshold without having to, you know, question each other or report that in. But
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if I wanted to spend more money, like I wanted to buy a canoe, then of course I would, you know,
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run that pastor. Uh, usually the way it works in a dynamic in a family is that one individual
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better with the money than the other. So whether that's you as the husband or your wife, uh, one
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person will usually take on the money management role. And I think that's fine, but we can't delegate
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away the responsibility. We can delegate some authority, uh, to, to take care of that. But
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ultimately we need to make sure that it's being taken care of. So whether Joe, you do it or your
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wife, uh, does it and manages the books and the income and the expenses and all of that, I would
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highly, highly suggest that you have a money meeting every single week. We do a month, a Monday money
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meeting. It's a tongue twister Monday money meeting, uh, where my wife and I discuss what income is
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coming in. Cause our income fluctuates slightly. Uh, we talk about what expenses are coming up. There
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might be unforeseen expenses with the kids or the dogs or something around the house or whatever.
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And, uh, we discuss that, you know, and then we also discuss what is coming up in the future
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as far as expenses, maybe it's a vacation or a trip or canoe plans. And we need to plan for that. And
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we just get on the same page and it's very quick at this point. It doesn't need to be a long drawn
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out thing. It is very quick. Um, the other day an Airbnb charge went through on my account. I didn't
00:21:50.960
know what it was. This might sound funny to you. I was in my office. So I just shot her an email.
00:21:56.260
I forwarded it to her. I said, what's this? She saw, shot me a message back. She said, it's for
00:21:59.840
the, for the trip. I said, great done. Got it. You know? So I manage it, but I include her in on the
00:22:05.300
process. And that's important because as a financial advisor, uh, I can tell you, I've, I've talked with a
00:22:11.000
lot of wives in particular, whose husbands passed away and their husbands took care of all of the
00:22:17.300
financial stuff. And now husband is no longer in the picture. He's gone. Uh, and, and the wife is,
00:22:23.680
you know, maybe set up, but she doesn't know how to manage any of this. She doesn't know where the
00:22:28.640
investments are. She doesn't know the bank account numbers and she just doesn't have access to that
00:22:33.760
stuff. So you need to make sure she's on board and you need to be on board if she's the one who
00:22:37.760
handles it all. All right. John Tybersky says, where do I see the legal institution of marriage going
00:22:46.140
over the next five to 10 years? I mean, I don't know about the institution itself. I there's value
00:22:52.600
in being married for me. A lot of guys really, really resist that. And the number one thing I
00:22:59.800
hear from men is, well, I don't need a piece of paper to say that I'm, I'm committed. And guys,
00:23:04.800
it's really not about the piece of paper. When you, when you get married, you have a marriage ceremony,
00:23:10.380
you're, you're marking something. You're saying this is important enough that we honor it.
00:23:16.840
We acknowledge it. We recognize it. We make commitments to each other. And I think that
00:23:24.460
you're probably going to have a more successful marriage or relationship. If you're willing to go
00:23:31.660
through that process, it isn't about the piece of paper. It isn't about being recognized by the
00:23:36.640
government, but I'll tell you the more the government specifically, the family court system
00:23:41.280
stacks themselves against men in, in family courts and custody hearings, the less likely it is that
00:23:49.780
men are going to want to get married. And then we're going to have a lot of children being born
00:23:54.920
out of wedlock. And then you're going to have a lot of little Timmy's and Tommy's and Susie's running
00:23:59.240
around without dad in the picture. And that's unfortunate. There's been studies that suggest that
00:24:05.480
there's really a few basic, basic, uh, actions that you can do that will all, but ensure your
00:24:15.500
success in life. Number one, graduate high school. That goes to the conversation and the question
00:24:19.940
earlier. Uh, number two, don't have kids until you're married. Uh, and then number three, I believe
00:24:25.340
is find meaningful or, or find, uh, find work, just have, get a job. So it's those three things.
00:24:32.520
Uh, so I'm a little worried when I hear people that are having children outside of wedlock.
00:24:38.020
Um, it's, I don't think it's good for the kids and, and I don't think it's good for society.
00:24:42.940
So we're going to see less and less people getting married. We're going to see less and
00:24:46.540
less people having children. Uh, so that's something we'll certainly have to deal with
00:24:51.480
and contend with as, uh, as this moves along and the family court system stacked against men.
00:24:56.780
And then there's a, there's frankly, there's a lot of degeneracy as well, you know, like sleep
00:25:00.420
around with a bunch of women and, um, not really worried about the consequences and, and, and treat
00:25:06.260
women, you know, less than they, they deserve to be treated and take advantage of them, manipulate
00:25:10.860
that sort of thing too. And that's unfortunate. Uh, I think if you're tuned into this podcast,
00:25:15.320
that's, that's likely not you guys, but that is pretty prevalent and it's not good.
00:25:19.640
All right. This one comes from, uh, Thomas Marcel Dale. He says, is it worth getting testosterone
00:25:29.580
tested? Even as a younger man, I've seen people talking about being on TRT, uh, because they did
00:25:35.060
a test that was low and then swearing by it. You know, I I've heard a lot of this. I'm, I'm not an
00:25:40.840
expert on this stuff. Uh, there is a good book called, I think it's called master.
00:25:49.640
Mastering your tea, mastering your tea. I've got it right up there. It's a blue book.
00:25:53.860
I'll check it out and post it on Instagram or in the Facebook group. But, uh, yeah, you
00:25:58.500
should definitely read up on it before you do it. But, but I think getting it tested.
00:26:01.800
Yeah, sure. I, I don't think there's anything wrong with getting it tested so you can get
00:26:04.960
an idea of where your testosterone levels are. Cause if they're low, then you need to address
00:26:08.800
that. And there's ways to do that, uh, naturally, and you should certainly explore that
00:26:14.060
route. And then there's, uh, there's treatment as well. So I think both have their
00:26:19.120
merit. I know a lot of guys on therapy and, uh, they also swear by it, but you know, that
00:26:24.040
makes sense. You have more testosterone, you can build muscle faster. Your, your sex drive
00:26:28.500
increases, uh, you're able to lose weight. You have the energy you need. So testosterone
00:26:33.820
is a good thing. And if you're, if you're getting injected into you, then, you know, that's,
00:26:38.140
that's going to expedite the process. So there's, there's value I think there. Um, but talk
00:26:43.420
with your medical professional, read the book, mastering your tea and, uh, come to the
00:26:47.560
conclusions that you think are, are necessary. Okay. Troy Dotson, any tips for becoming a
00:26:53.260
first time homeowner as a young man? Yes, I do. Uh, what I would suggest to you is that
00:27:00.600
when you're looking at homes and, and let's say you have a ballpark mortgage figure, a
00:27:06.180
mortgage monthly mortgage, and, uh, let's just say for the sake of argument, it's a $1,500
00:27:10.640
a month. Well, then you need to start putting away $1,500 a month right now today. Let's
00:27:17.860
say your rent at this point is a thousand dollars a month. And I came to you and I said, Hey,
00:27:22.520
your mortgage is going to be 1500. You're looking for a home. Why don't you just go ahead and
00:27:25.640
put that extra 500, the difference between your $1,000 rent and the $1,500 mortgage, and
00:27:30.980
just go ahead and put that in a side fund. What I've actually heard a lot of people say
00:27:34.420
is, well, I can't, I can't afford to put an extra $500 into a side fund. Okay. Then you
00:27:38.600
don't have any right to buy a home and have this $1,500 mortgage because you can't afford
00:27:45.420
to do that. So that's number one, number two, $1,500 for the mortgage. Isn't really what
00:27:51.840
the cost of the house is going to be for you on a monthly basis. It's probably going to
00:27:55.080
be more like 17 or 1800. You're going to have mortgage. You can have a interest principle
00:28:01.580
taxes, homeowners insurance. So you're going to have all these other things. You also might
00:28:07.400
have mortgage insurance on top of that. And then you're going to have repairs, maintenance,
00:28:13.940
costs, upgrades, et cetera, et cetera. So don't think that just because you're going to afford
00:28:19.460
a $1,500 mortgage that you're in the, you're in the clear, you might not be, it might be
00:28:23.700
18 or 1900 or $2,000 that you actually need to have on a monthly basis to plan for these
00:28:29.020
things. So make sure that you're setting that stuff aside. Let's say your mortgage is
00:28:33.360
$1,500, take three or $400 extra a month, set it into a homeowner's fund. And here's
00:28:38.140
the beauty in 12 months. Let's say you've got three, four or five grand in there. You
00:28:41.820
haven't used any of it. Okay. Maybe you pull out a thousand and you know, you have, you
00:28:46.500
buy something, you make a purchase, you pay off some other debt because you haven't used
00:28:52.220
it for home repairs or maintenance. Congratulations. Still your money. You can do something else
00:28:56.840
with it. You can redeploy it. Outside of that, I would say start getting good or at least
00:29:02.320
training up. Maybe it's YouTube or practicing with other buddies who own houses on basic
00:29:07.600
home repairs. I'm talking about basic electrical, basic plumbing, lighting fixtures, some basic
00:29:14.280
maybe trim work around the house, just little things that you can do on your own and figure
00:29:17.820
out how to do. Cause you don't want to have to call a plumber every time your toilet isn't
00:29:22.540
working. You don't have to call an electrician every time something, you know, minor is tripped
00:29:27.720
up with a wire or a light's not working. Like you want to be able to take care of that
00:29:31.180
stuff yourself. So read up, study up practice, and then get yourself. I don't know where you
00:29:37.220
are in this category, but get yourself a nice set of tools, a diversified, well-rounded
00:29:42.920
set of tools that is going to be good for home repairs that you can do on your own. And
00:29:47.820
there's a lot of pride that comes with that as well, right? If you got to fix the toilet
00:29:51.200
or fix, patch a hole in the wall and, and you don't have to call anybody to do it. You're
00:29:55.460
able to do it yourself. You know, you get it done and you think, man, this is awesome.
00:29:58.120
I can do it myself. So that's something I'd recommend as well. All right, guys, how we
00:30:03.200
doing on time? We're doing a rapid fire today. We're only going to go about half the time
00:30:07.020
we normally do. So we're about the 30 minute mark. So I'll take a couple more and then we
00:30:10.800
will call it quits. All right. This one comes from Lance Wallace. He says, any advice or
00:30:17.700
resources to utilize, uh, that would help get my accountant wife on board with overhauling
00:30:23.980
our finances. Interesting. She's an accountant, but maybe she's not interested in overhauling
00:30:29.400
your finances. That's interesting. Since listening to the podcast, watching expert videos, Dave Ramsey,
00:30:34.480
for example, and reading finance books like rich dad, poor dad, my entire view and outlook
00:30:38.840
on money has changed. I'm trying to come up with something to introduce her to, or a research,
00:30:44.260
a resource to show her what I've learned and get her on board with the changes I want to make,
00:30:48.200
but her attention span is short. So I'm finding it difficult for my words to resonate with
00:30:53.080
her and get my point across. Any resources advice would be greatly appreciated. Love the show.
00:30:57.440
Thanks guys. Hmm. Well, she's not on board right now. And, and I would almost bet it's not that she's
00:31:04.940
not on board with what you want to do. She might just be bored with it. Maybe she talks about money
00:31:09.140
all day long and doesn't want to talk about it when she gets home. Kind of like the mechanic who drives
00:31:14.040
the beater or the landscaper who has, uh, who has grass issues in his front yard. So, so focused on
00:31:21.600
fixing everybody else's stuff that he never has time for his own. Uh, but what I would do is I
00:31:26.240
would talk about the benefits more so than the strategies. You know, you're probably talking to
00:31:31.200
her about the strategies of, you know, here's what, here's how we're going to invest and, and here's
00:31:35.820
where, what funds we're going to put them into. And here's how we're going to do the debt snowball,
00:31:39.320
which is Dave Ramsey's thing. And, you know, here, here's how we're going to execute this. And she might
00:31:44.380
gloss over and be like, I don't care about this. It's not that she doesn't care about the benefits
00:31:51.320
of it. She just might not care about how it's implemented. So instead, maybe what you ought to
00:31:57.080
do is talk about, Hey, imagine this hunt. Imagine us being out of debt completely and taking that
00:32:02.720
vacation that we've always wanted to take, or imagine us getting out of debt and being in the
00:32:07.520
position where we can remodel, uh, the, the nursery or the kids' room, like you've always wanted to do,
00:32:13.400
or remodel a room for you so that you could have a place in the house. That's all yours.
00:32:18.960
So now you're talking about it from a benefit perspective for her, and then making sure that
00:32:25.320
you guys are on the same page. Cause she might just give you full authority. She might say,
00:32:30.560
great, good. Yes. I actually liked that idea. Go ahead and take care of it. And then you don't
00:32:34.800
have to win her over on how you're going to do it necessarily. Although you want to keep her in the
00:32:38.560
loop, you just let her know what's in it for her, how it can be beneficial. And she might just say,
00:32:44.780
fine, good, do it. And you're off to the races. All right. Let's take one more here. A lot of
00:32:52.840
homeowner questions. Michael Ward's asking for advice from new homeowner. I just, uh, mentioned
00:32:58.440
some of those things. Here's one Dave Lynch. This'll be the last question of the day guys. And we'll do
00:33:03.800
another one of these next week. What are some unique activities that build mental toughness
00:33:09.540
and resilience, cold showers, et cetera. Yeah. I think cold showers are good. Um, any cold water
00:33:15.520
introduction. Wim Hof has some great things to share on that. He's got a book and he's got a,
00:33:20.640
I think a free app on, on breathing and things like that. So that's good. You should be doing that
00:33:24.840
stuff. Uh, but I would say being disciplined to work out and exercise every day. Uh, I would say
00:33:30.860
speaking in public is something that can build mental toughness and resilience because most
00:33:35.940
people don't want to do that. So if you actually go do that, then you're building that mental
00:33:40.400
fortitude. And then you're also developing a skill that's going to serve you well to be able to speak
00:33:44.780
in public. Uh, I would also say, uh, different physical challenges. So maybe it's a tough mudder
00:33:53.940
or a Spartan race. Uh, maybe it's signing up for CrossFit, but I would say if, if anything is scaring
00:34:01.880
you, you're a little afraid of doing, maybe that's jujitsu, or maybe that's taking on a new project.
00:34:07.560
That's a little outside of your wheelhouse. If it's scaring you a little bit, I would say that
00:34:12.020
might actually be a factor in an indicator that maybe you should pursue it. Maybe not, but maybe
00:34:17.400
all I'm saying is that you ought to listen to what your fears are and, and think, okay, is this fear
00:34:24.700
that I'm experiencing right now going to kill me? So I need to be aware of that. Or is it just going
00:34:29.660
to push me outside of my comfort zone? And if you analyze your fear that way, which is the reason we
00:34:34.640
have emotions, people will say, well, that's, you know, those are negative emotions, fear and anger
00:34:39.300
and greed and resentment. No, they're, they're not negative emotions. Fear is not a negative emotion.
00:34:45.060
It's a, it's a positive emotion. It's, it's there to serve you. Now, if you use it incorrectly
00:34:51.680
or you misinterpret what, what your, what your emotions are trying to tell you, like, be wary
00:34:58.500
of, you know, jumping off of a cliff, then yeah. Okay. You didn't use that emotion correctly,
00:35:03.720
but emotions are tools. That's all they are. You know, so many people say, oh, we shouldn't,
00:35:08.820
we shouldn't be emotional. Don't be overly emotional. That that's true. Don't be overly emotional,
00:35:12.160
but also don't close out how you feel about things. Feel it, embrace it, acknowledge it,
00:35:20.600
then try to interpret it. And if it's fear that you're feeling or experiencing, is it, okay,
00:35:27.060
don't jump off that cliff. That's something I would probably listen to my fear in that case,
00:35:31.700
or is it, Hey, don't go speak at Toastmasters or Rotary or one of these organizations because
00:35:37.920
people are going to, you know, look at you funny and you're, it's going to be hard for you. Okay.
00:35:41.940
Well, that's something maybe I ought to run towards because that's good for me. And we can all determine
00:35:48.080
whether or not an activity is good for us or not. So there's some ideas. All right, guys,
00:35:54.380
that's it for today. A lot of great questions. I know we did rapid fire. Uh, we're going to come
00:35:59.660
back next week and do some more of these. Cause it looks like we have another, I don't know,
00:36:03.160
20 or 30 questions that we need to get through here. So we're going to try to get to them all.
00:36:09.140
Keep asking those great questions, stay engaged with what you're doing. I think part of being a
00:36:13.840
man is just being present, being engaged, being excited about life, being assertive and doing
00:36:21.220
what you can to improve your life, other people's lives, and the scenario you find yourself in.
00:36:27.340
That's what we're all about here. So, uh, leave me a rating and review guys, if you would,
00:36:32.080
that goes a long way in promoting what we're doing here, check out the battle ready program.
00:36:35.500
I talked about earlier, order of man.com slash battle ready. And above all, just get after it.
00:36:41.120
All right, guys, we'll be back on Friday until then go out there, take action and become the man
00:36:47.140
you are meant to be. Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast. You're ready to take
00:36:51.900
charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the order