Order of Man - A Pragmatic Guide to Gratitude ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart

00:00:04.980 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.460 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong. This is your life. This is who

00:00:17.200 you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,

00:00:22.780 you can call yourself a man. Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Michler.

00:00:27.680 I'm your host and the founder of the Order of Man podcast and movement. Welcome here today.

00:00:32.400 This is your Friday field notes. So you're going to hear from me. Typically on Friday,

00:00:36.480 I share some thoughts that have been bouncing around in my brain for the past several days

00:00:39.900 and weeks. And I thought this being the day after Thanksgiving is the perfect opportunity

00:00:46.540 to talk with you about gratitude. This one's a tough one for me, frankly, which is exactly

00:00:52.120 why I wanted to talk with you about it. Because a lot of the times we hear from people who say

00:00:55.820 it's better to be grateful. And you should start each day with all the things that you're

00:01:00.260 grateful for or have some sort of weird gratitude journal where you write down five or 10 things

00:01:05.520 that you're grateful for on a daily basis. I tend to be a bit pragmatic in my approach

00:01:10.480 to life. A lot of these times or a lot of these types of things tend to be a little too woohoo

00:01:16.240 for me or what is the point of that? I'm a grateful person. I'm a happy person. At least I think

00:01:22.600 I am. And so what is the practice of writing down the three things I'm grateful for going

00:01:27.960 to do? Every morning I'm supposed to write down, well, I'm grateful for the weather and

00:01:32.600 I'm grateful for my kids and I'm grateful for my health. And I am grateful, by the way,

00:01:37.480 for all of those things. But sometimes I often wonder what is the point of this? What is the

00:01:43.080 purpose of this? We can get so inundated and consumed and overwhelmed with the amount of things

00:01:51.480 that we're supposed to do in this quote unquote self-development space that a lot of the times

00:01:56.840 it seems to defeat the purpose. You may hear some background noise. Something I'm grateful

00:02:01.960 for is I have a young man. It's my neighbor who comes over and he mows the lawn. So he

00:02:09.220 is mowing the lawn right now, right as I'm doing this podcast, I could complain and gripe about

00:02:14.000 that, or I could be grateful that he's doing it and I'm not out there doing it. And I'm sitting

00:02:19.300 here talking with you. So if you hear any background noise, it's the young man next door

00:02:23.980 who's mowing the lawn. And I am appreciative of that. I do want to first and foremost, before

00:02:29.740 I get into a couple of things, tell you that I am thankful for you. I'm thankful for your

00:02:35.220 support. This has been eight and a half years of growing this movement and the mission to

00:02:40.940 reclaim and restore masculinity. And I cannot even begin to describe how amazed, quite frankly,

00:02:48.660 I am that it has grown to what it's grown to, and it's impacted as many lives as it has.

00:02:55.940 And that's a testament to you. It's a testament to the work that you're doing. It's a testament

00:03:01.300 to the guests that visit this podcast and join us in conversation. And it's a testament to the

00:03:08.040 work that we have yet to have done, which we will continue to do as we move into 2024.

00:03:12.900 Today, I'm going to talk with you about five things or five reasons, pragmatic reasons,

00:03:19.180 because this is what speaks to me and my personality as to why we should be grateful.

00:03:24.160 And then I'm going to share with you five practical steps, five practical actions that you can do on a

00:03:30.180 daily basis, besides writing in your weird gratitude journal that you can implement every single day

00:03:36.340 that are going to help you achieve and have more of the first five points that I'm going to give

00:03:41.200 you. Before I get into that one last thing, I do want to mention because I'm also extremely grateful

00:03:46.780 for my friends and show sponsors, Montana knife company.com. If you guys are looking for a good

00:03:53.960 gift for a man in your life, I know there's a lot of women who listen, a lot of wives, a lot of mothers, 0.99

00:03:59.160 a lot of sisters, every man needs a good knife. You may not understand it. You may not think that's 0.98

00:04:05.540 the case, but I can promise you that if your man opens a brand new Montana knife company knife

00:04:12.060 in his stocking or under the Christmas tree this year, he's going to be happy. He's going to be

00:04:18.080 grateful. And you're going to be glad knowing that you got him a gift that he can actually use,

00:04:23.920 not some weird tie or some ugly socks that he has to pretend he likes. So go to Montana knife

00:04:30.700 company.com and use the code order of man at checkout and you'll save some money when you do.

00:04:36.960 It's a great Christmas gift for the man in your life. Let's talk about this guys. Number one,

00:04:42.040 this is again, a pragmatic guide to gratitude. Number one, being grateful just makes you a more

00:04:48.900 likable person, right? We all know the pessimist. We all know the person who always has something

00:04:54.060 wrong, who always has something to complain about, who's always bitching and moaning and griping. 1.00

00:04:59.220 That person is no fun. You don't want to spend any amount of time with that person. Sure. You might

00:05:04.540 be around them because you want to serve them or they're the weird uncle at Thanksgiving. You have

00:05:09.140 to spend time with, but you don't enjoy your time with that individual. On the other hand,

00:05:14.460 the person who is grateful, who's always happy and optimistic and sees that even if the clouds are

00:05:21.500 out and the sun's not shining, that the rain is dripping down and making everything miserable.

00:05:27.440 They'll say, this is good for the crops. We're going to have a good harvest. That's the type

00:05:31.420 of person we want to be around. So from a pragmatic approach, if we're more grateful for the things that

00:05:37.040 we have in our lives, more people are going to want to be around us. And that's a good thing.

00:05:41.700 I want to be around friends. I want to be around romantic partners. I want to be around my children.

00:05:48.040 I want to be around other people who edify me, who uplift me, who support me, who care about me,

00:05:54.920 who serve me, who add value to my life. And if I'm grateful and I have an air of optimism in my

00:06:02.880 approach to life, I'm just a more likable person. And being more likable means that we're going to

00:06:09.320 live a better life. Number two is being grateful is going to make you more trustworthy.

00:06:14.800 And trust is the foundational element of building credibility and authority and influence in people's

00:06:24.840 lives. If people trust you, they're going to give you opportunities. They're going to give you

00:06:31.440 promotions. They're going to give you chances they may not otherwise give to other people. They're

00:06:36.780 going to give you the benefit of the doubt if something goes wrong. Guys, being a trustworthy

00:06:41.800 individual is such a powerful, powerful approach to life. And the reason being grateful makes you

00:06:50.080 more trustworthy is because when you express gratitude to individuals for very specific things

00:06:57.160 that they do, what you're essentially saying is, I see you, I acknowledge you, I recognize your value,

00:07:04.040 and I'm willing to acknowledge it and not hoard the accolades, the praise, the notoriety, the income,

00:07:12.620 the promotion, the opportunity that might otherwise be afforded to me if I took the credit.

00:07:18.440 So a grateful person is a selfless person. They're not selfish. They're willing to give to other people.

00:07:26.340 And if somebody sees something that I do and sends me a message and says to me,

00:07:31.320 Brian, I'm grateful for that podcast that you did on gratitude because it helped me be more grateful,

00:07:38.220 have a better attitude in my life, and my wife and I are doing better because of it,

00:07:42.500 I am going to trust you more as a listener. And next time you message me, I'm probably going to

00:07:48.540 remember that conversation that we had. Or if I see you at one of our events or another event and you

00:07:53.560 come up and shake my hand, I'm going to know exactly who you are because you've presented to me

00:07:59.640 a level of gratitude, which makes you, in my mind, a more trustworthy person. I'm going to be more

00:08:06.880 deeply connected to you. Guys, again, I apologize about the noise if you can hear it. But again,

00:08:12.640 he's doing a great job. Fine young man. Love having him and his family as neighbors. They're great people

00:08:18.640 and he's doing a great job mowing that lawn, but it's loud. All right. Number three,

00:08:22.960 being grateful. I alluded to this. It just makes you happier. And I want to be happy.

00:08:27.580 I was talking with somebody the other day and you guys probably have seen it if you've been with us

00:08:33.200 for any amount of time. I've had highs and lows in my life, specifically over the past eight,

00:08:39.120 nine years of doing this podcast. And I became, over the last couple of years, very cynical of just

00:08:48.180 life in general. I became very arrogant. I thought I had a lot of things figured out. I put myself on

00:08:54.360 a pedestal that I didn't belong. And a lot of that came through in the way that I communicated with you

00:08:59.360 on the podcast. It came through in the way I communicated on social media. Sorry, I'm actually,

00:09:06.680 it's making me a little emotional because of the way that I showed up. And I just, I wasn't a happy

00:09:12.400 person. There wasn't anything specific that I could point to. I did get into alcohol abuse. And

00:09:17.480 of course that exacerbated the problem. There was nothing inherently wrong with my life. Nothing

00:09:23.200 negative, so to speak, that I could point to as an acute problem that created a lot of the pessimism

00:09:29.460 in my life, but I just wasn't happy. And it spilled out. It spilled out into my work.

00:09:35.780 It spilled out into my ability to serve you guys who listen. It spilled out into my ability to lead my

00:09:44.660 wife and my family well. And it just, it made me a miserable person, not only personally, but also

00:09:51.520 to be around. And as I've learned how to be more humble through some very painful circumstances in my

00:10:00.020 own life. And I've learned how to be more empathetic and generous and kind to other people who might be

00:10:10.740 dealing with their own hardship and their own battles in life. I'm just a happier person. I'm

00:10:16.280 just, I'm more pleasurable to be around. I'm not always so uptight. I'm not always so tense. I'm not

00:10:22.460 always so serious. Not everything's a big deal. Two years ago, this young man out mowing my lawn

00:10:27.860 would have pissed me off and I would have maybe lost my cool over it. Hopefully not at him, but

00:10:32.720 I would have made a bigger deal out of it than I needed to. And through the humility and the

00:10:37.980 humbling experiences that I've dealt with over the past couple of years, I've learned to let go.

00:10:42.800 And I've learned how to, and I'm still learning how to be happy and be satisfied and be a joy to be

00:10:49.960 around. And I've realized that when I'm more joyful and happier to be around and lighthearted and fun

00:10:56.840 and joking and flirtatious and all the things that come with being a positive person, I noticed that

00:11:04.100 that happens in spades in return. And I want to be around happy people. I want to be around positive

00:11:10.700 people. I want to be around people who smile and who make me laugh and who tell funny stories and have

00:11:18.860 jokes and we can make inside jokes and, and we can, uh, mock each other lightheartedly in a playful and

00:11:26.480 fun way. That that's what I want. That's what I'm looking for as a 42 year old man. I don't,

00:11:31.380 I don't want to be angry. I don't want to be bitter. I don't want to be a pessimist. I don't want to be

00:11:35.860 grumpy. Um, I want to be happy. And if I look around and I recognize that I have technology and I have,

00:11:43.000 uh, this audience of, of you guys who listen and I have this young man who mows my lawn and I have

00:11:49.200 this beautiful home to live in. And I see this mountain outside of my window. Um, and I have my

00:11:54.820 children and, and I'm thinking about the things that I'm actually grateful for. I I'm just, I'm

00:12:00.820 happier. I'm just more joyful. Yeah. There's things that are wrong in my life. There's things that could

00:12:06.460 be better. Um, there's things that I would like to improve. And that's a different conversation because

00:12:11.480 what I do have significantly outweighs what I don't, which leads me into the next point, being

00:12:18.460 grateful. It makes you less desperate when you're not grateful. What you're constantly doing is

00:12:24.820 looking for the next greatest thing. I need a different woman. I need more money. I need more 1.00

00:12:29.960 opportunity. I need more social media followers. I need more of this. I need more of that because I'm

00:12:34.740 not happy in life. And we begin to believe that the external things of life, the cars and the money

00:12:42.780 and the houses and the beautiful women and the, all the externalities that that next externality 0.98

00:12:49.500 is what's going to make you satisfied in life. And if that's what you believe, then you're going to

00:12:55.180 desperately chase those things and being desperate to chase money or women or fame or notoriety or any

00:13:05.920 of these external metrics is a recipe for disaster. And it's repulsive to the thing that you're trying

00:13:13.100 to attract. If you're desperate, for example, for women, um, let's say you're in the dating market

00:13:19.280 and you're desperate to get laid or you're desperate to find your next wife. How many women, 0.99

00:13:25.580 high quality women do you believe are actually going to find that a redeeming quality in you? 1.00

00:13:31.720 If you're desperate to build financial prosperity and abundance, and instead of adding real value to

00:13:39.240 people's lives, you're constantly selling and pitching and promoting and hawking and nickeling 0.55

00:13:46.520 and diming these individuals, how easily do you think that they're going to be willing to get out

00:13:51.600 their wallet and give you money? Guys being desperate, especially as a man, I don't know if

00:13:57.720 it's especially as a man, but just being desperate is repulsive. And if you're grateful for what you

00:14:03.500 have, then you need less. I'm grateful for the technology. That doesn't mean I wouldn't like a

00:14:09.120 better camera than I have now. Sure. I would, but I'm pretty grateful for the camera that I have.

00:14:14.040 I have this beautiful home. I could have a bigger home. I could have a housekeeper. Uh, I could have

00:14:20.340 different paint on the walls or better decorations or bigger deer that I've shot on the wall. I could

00:14:26.260 have all of those things, but what I have now is pretty good. And I look around and I see, you know,

00:14:32.560 that moose painting and I go out there and I see the Christmas tree that set up and I look over here

00:14:37.720 and I see the technology and I look at the camera that I have right here and I see that gun safe and it's

00:14:42.940 got my guns and it's got an ability right there to defend myself and my family and to enjoy the sport

00:14:49.100 of hunting. Um, I've got the TV and I've got my kids rooms and they're a mess. The kids rooms are a

00:14:56.200 mess. And yet it means that they have things and they have toys. And I can see even when they're not

00:15:02.140 here that they're playing and they're having fun and they're enjoying life. And I need less.

00:15:07.880 I don't need more in my life. I would like to have more. I will work to virtue, virtuously acquire

00:15:15.000 more in my life, but I don't need it. I could die right now. A happy person, a fulfilled person,

00:15:21.520 knowing that what I have is enough. And that's what gratitude brings to an individual. And then

00:15:28.060 the last thing I want to share with you, and then we'll get into five things that you can implement

00:15:31.400 on a daily basis that will help you achieve more of these things is that being grateful creates more

00:15:38.580 opportunities for you because you're going to see things differently. All right. How many times have

00:15:44.360 you been presented with an opportunity, uh, or a vacation or an experience, or somebody has asked

00:15:52.660 you for something or to do something or to give you something. If you're a pessimist at heart,

00:15:58.400 you're going to naturally turn all of that stuff down. You're not going to look at it.

00:16:03.060 You're not going to entertain it. You're going to overlook it. You're going to think it's stupid.

00:16:07.280 You're going to look at all the ways it could go wrong. All the things that could potentially happen

00:16:11.460 in a bad way. You're not going to look at it positively. And, uh, subconsciously what's going

00:16:17.160 to happen is you're going to start to overlook opportunities that could otherwise present themselves

00:16:22.860 case in point. I don't know if I can talk about this. I'll talk about this to the degree that I

00:16:27.480 can. I have a really good friend. His name is Rick trimmer. We've been friends loosely for 20 plus

00:16:32.860 years, but over the past three, four or five years, we've developed an even tighter bond and friendship

00:16:37.960 and we've hunted a lot together. And he came to me several weeks ago now, and he's been thinking

00:16:43.300 about this for a while. And he's been wanting to start an outdoor experience company. And he came to

00:16:51.000 me because of the abundance I have with the market that I have and my ability to market and, um, our

00:16:57.240 friendship. And he said, I'm going to do this. I would like to partner with you. Would you like to

00:17:02.000 invest? Three years ago, I would have been the pessimist. That's dumb. That's stupid. That's not

00:17:08.260 going to work. I don't have the money. That's not a good idea, but you know what? This week I said,

00:17:13.600 you know what? Yes, I'm in. Let's do it. I'm not, I'm not blind or oblivious to the things that could

00:17:19.860 go wrong. And I'm not willing to invest more than I'm willing to lose. But I said, let's do it.

00:17:25.060 There's a real opportunity here to create experiences for men and women who want to get

00:17:30.820 outdoors, who want to get outside, who want to learn how to hunt, who want to learn survival,

00:17:35.680 who want to learn all of these things that we have access to. And if you're asking me,

00:17:40.060 if I can be involved, hell yeah, I'm in. How much and where do I write that check? And I'm grateful

00:17:46.880 that I have the money that I have to be able to write that check because I just gave it to him a

00:17:52.540 couple of days ago. And I was grateful that I was able to send that check to him and say,

00:17:57.340 I'm in, let's make this happen. I can't get into all the specifics. I promise I will share with you

00:18:02.760 at some point, but guys being grateful creates opportunities. If you're grateful for people that

00:18:10.300 you run into, they're going to like you more. They're going to trust you more. If you're dating,

00:18:14.020 you're going to create more opportunities for dates. If you're not dating, you're married,

00:18:19.040 you're going to create more opportunities for intimate moments and relationships and experiences

00:18:22.760 with her. Your kids are going to want to be closer to you. Being grateful makes so much sense. And it

00:18:29.100 took me a long time to figure this out because everybody just told me I'm supposed to write down

00:18:32.800 the three things I'm grateful for every day with no real reason behind it. That's the pragmatic reason.

00:18:38.240 If you want to know why you should be grateful, that's why you should be grateful. Now let's talk about

00:18:43.200 how to do it. Number one, these are very simple things. And please don't overlook what I'm about

00:18:48.620 to share with you because they're so simple. Most of you, maybe not most, but a lot of you will.

00:18:54.260 And you'll say, well, that's dumb. It's so simple. It couldn't be that easy. Trust me, it is. Especially

00:18:59.000 if you implement these five things on a daily basis. Number one, say thank you to people. That's it.

00:19:06.380 Just say thank you. Be, be kind, be nice, be polite. Say, please say thank you. Um, you know,

00:19:13.700 the other day I was at Jimmy John's. That's one of my favorite places to eat lunch. And I'm at Jimmy

00:19:18.200 John's and they made the sandwich. And I think their tagline is sandwiches. So fast, you'll freak

00:19:23.740 or something like that. Right. And this person made this sandwich, not only fast, but exceptionally

00:19:29.000 fast. And I just said, thank you. Wow. That was even quicker than I thought I timed you. It was,

00:19:35.300 you know, 22 seconds and I didn't time them really, but I was joking with them, but I, but I was grateful.

00:19:41.040 I expressed gratitude. I said, thank you for going above and beyond. Um, I was at dinner the other

00:19:46.740 night and the server did a great job and I pulled them aside and I said, Hey, you know what? I just,

00:19:51.860 I wanted to tell you that I'm really grateful for the way that you serve tonight. Like I enjoyed my

00:19:56.760 dinner. I enjoyed the experience and you were a big part of that. The other night, um, my second

00:20:02.340 son had his end of football season banquet. And before everything got kicked off, I pulled the

00:20:08.840 head coach coach over a side and I said, Hey, you know what? I, I want to tell you, I watched you this

00:20:13.320 year and I watched your demeanor because that's what I do. I'm an, I'm an observer. And, and I observed

00:20:18.880 this head coach and I've seen great head coaches and I've seen head horrible head coaches. He's a great

00:20:24.880 head coach. And I told him, I said, you know what? I just wanted to tell you that I'm really grateful

00:20:30.900 for the way that you coached those boys and my son, you know, he's back in town. He hasn't been

00:20:37.980 part of the program for four years. He's been playing football, but not here with you. Um,

00:20:42.600 I watched your demeanor. Uh, I watched when things didn't go wrong. I watched when your players were

00:20:47.680 upset. I watched you and without fail, you showed up as a man that I would like to be when I coach

00:20:56.060 my kids. And so I wanted to thank you for that guys. It doesn't take a lot to say thank you to

00:21:02.500 somebody. And in this particular case, this gentleman messaged me back that night after the

00:21:07.220 banquet was over. And he said, Hey, thank you so much for sharing that with me. He's like, I really

00:21:12.600 meant a lot to me. Um, I'd like to, uh, talk with you more and catch up with you. He haven't happens

00:21:17.760 to be a neighbor. Um, and that comes back to the opportunities. We may just become friends or maybe

00:21:22.140 there's something else, but opportunities because I was just willing to say thank you. And it sets you

00:21:27.540 apart. It's, it's kind of sad really that these individuals don't get thanked as often as they

00:21:34.700 should, but it also presents an opportunity for you to set yourself apart by expressing genuine

00:21:39.720 gratitude for something that somebody has done, whether it's make a sandwich really fast for you

00:21:45.300 or a coach who does a beautiful job for your son or daughter. Thank those individuals. Number two,

00:21:51.840 compliment those people. Okay. When people are doing something or you notice something about them,

00:22:00.300 just say it. Uh, I was at the, uh, the, um, uh, collision place, the, the auto body shop earlier

00:22:08.020 this morning. Cause I'm getting my truck fixed. Unfortunately, I got in an accident the other day

00:22:12.360 and it wasn't my fault. I would, I do want to put that out there, but I did make sure the woman who

00:22:17.140 ran into me was okay. And she was, I talked a little bit about it earlier in the week and one

00:22:20.920 of the podcasts. And, uh, this woman walked in and she was an older woman, but she was really well put

00:22:27.060 together. And you could tell like the way that she carried herself and the outfit that she had on,

00:22:31.320 it was festive. And you could tell, like, she really took pride in what she was wearing and how she

00:22:35.860 presented herself. And she walked in and I said, you look really nice today. And she looked at me

00:22:40.900 and she like took a step back and she's like, well, that was really nice of you to say. And I said,

00:22:45.440 yeah, I just, I can see like you look festive and you've got your Thanksgiving garb on and you look

00:22:49.960 nice today. She's like, thank you very much. That was it. Like it doesn't take a lot to compliment

00:22:56.200 people. If you're actually looking for ways and reasons to compliment people, it's so easy to see what

00:23:02.080 people are doing and acknowledge that they're doing a good job. When I see this young man who

00:23:06.600 mowed my lawn a minute ago and I see him, cause I know I'll probably see him in the next couple of

00:23:11.060 hours. I'm going to go out there and I'm going to say, Hey, you know, the lines on the lawn look

00:23:14.960 awesome today. Good job. Like I'm going to tell him that because he needs to hear that. When the head

00:23:19.580 coach of my son's football team does a good job, he needs the compliment. When my daughter does

00:23:24.220 exceptionally well at her dance recital, she had a dance recital last week. Um, I brought flowers

00:23:29.280 and I told her you did a good job. You did so good. Like memorizing your moves and, and, and the way

00:23:35.320 that you move and you stayed in sync with your teammates. And I saw how much fun you were having

00:23:39.580 and you did a beautiful job. Just little compliments. You know, people will send me

00:23:43.960 messages occasionally and let's say, Hey Ryan, I listened to that podcast and man, you were so on

00:23:48.680 point. You did such a good job or this one point that you did made so much sense. And I just really

00:23:53.420 appreciate it. You might not think that's a big deal. It may not feel like a big deal,

00:23:58.240 but every time you pay a genuine compliment, regardless of how big or small it might be,

00:24:03.220 that goes such a long way in helping other people live more fulfilling lives. I hope that

00:24:09.800 that woman who I saw at the auto shop today, I hope her days a little better because I saw her and I

00:24:16.940 said, you look really nice today. That doesn't, that takes no longer than me, you know, making up some

00:24:23.540 sort of pessimistic story in my head about why she's dressed the way that she's dressed,

00:24:27.500 which some people do. It takes no more effort to be nice than it does to be rude or to be a

00:24:34.140 pessimist about life. Next, take advantage of your blessings. Okay. Do this on a daily basis.

00:24:40.800 If it's beautiful outside, go outside, please go outside, go for a walk, enjoy nature. If the leaves

00:24:48.420 are falling like they are here in Southern Utah right now, the other night we had this big windstorm

00:24:53.460 come through and it took about 80% of the leaves off the tree. And I was like, Oh, this sucks.

00:24:59.300 Because the only thing I was thinking about is like breaking all these leaves out of the yard and

00:25:03.820 blowing them off the rocks and how big of a pain in the ass it was going to be. 0.97

00:25:08.220 And instead in the moment, I decided that I'm just going to walk down the street in this windstorm and

00:25:14.400 I'm going to let these leaves blow past me. And it was enjoyable to see all the colors and the

00:25:19.840 leaves falling around me. And instead of focusing on all the bullshit that I knew I was going to need

00:25:24.660 to do and I still have to do. Instead, I decided that I'm going to be grateful for this blessing of

00:25:30.660 leaves and life and change of seasons and the wind, even though the wind is miserable, it brings in

00:25:37.480 fresh, clean air and it moves the environment. And I'm sure some person can tell me why it's

00:25:43.540 absolutely necessary from a biological standpoint that we have wind, but I enjoyed it instead.

00:25:51.080 I just got my truck fixed. I've got a 99 Toyota Tacoma and I had it lifted. I put new wheels and

00:25:58.240 tires on it and it's down at the shop and the guy said it was ready. And this morning I decided,

00:26:03.040 you know what? It's cold outside. It's 36 degrees this morning. I'm going to walk down to the shop.

00:26:08.440 So I walked down to the shop and I made a couple of phone calls. I sent a couple of videos while I

00:26:13.780 was doing it and I just enjoyed. There was people walking and a few people running. I saw a young man

00:26:19.320 who I hadn't seen for probably four or five years. I used to coach him in a young men's program

00:26:25.980 before I moved to Maine and he ran by me and I said, Hey, and I said his name. I'm not going to say

00:26:31.040 his name publicly, but I called him by his name and he looked at me confused. I said, Do you remember me?

00:26:35.280 And I told him I'm Ryan Mickler. He's like, Oh yeah. He's like, you used to be my young men's

00:26:39.360 leader like four or five years ago. And I said, yeah, that's right. It's good to see you.

00:26:43.300 And we had a quick conversation. Enjoy the beautiful things around you. There's so much around you.

00:26:49.540 And the more you take advantage of technology, of nature, of opportunities to have conversations

00:26:56.700 with unique and interesting people, the more rich and fulfilled your life will be.

00:27:01.220 Next. And I think I alluded to this. When things go wrong, look for the good because things are

00:27:07.120 going to go wrong. We know that. I complained earlier this week on the Ask Me Anything episode

00:27:13.180 about hitting a deer and then a woman crashed into my truck and I had a panic attack. And you have all

00:27:21.540 these little things that come up and I'm not here to compare woes to you. And I'm not here to tell you

00:27:27.020 that the things that you're dealing with are insurmountable. Sometimes they're hard and I

00:27:33.760 don't know what you're dealing with. Maybe it's the death of a loved one or a medical diagnosis,

00:27:37.580 like really divorce, really difficult things. I'm not here to make light of that. But what I do want

00:27:43.380 to tell you is that even in those times where life is hard and life is challenging, there's still

00:27:49.520 things to be grateful for. I went through a divorce earlier this year and I sent a message to my ex

00:27:55.520 and I told her that she's a great mother and I'm grateful that she is the mother that she is.

00:28:01.580 And I told her that the children love her and I hope she knows that. I didn't do that so she would

00:28:08.320 think anything better or worse of me. I didn't do that with any expectation of anything in return.

00:28:14.700 She just, she needed to know. I felt like, I felt like she needed to know and I felt like I was the

00:28:20.180 one who should probably share that with her. And the point that I'm making is that even when things

00:28:25.360 go wrong, like a divorce, they're still good. You and your wife or your ex-wife have a difference 0.52

00:28:31.480 of opinion or maybe you don't get along for whatever reason and ultimately it destroys your

00:28:36.940 marriage. But there's still things there that are redeemable about her. There's still things there,

00:28:42.760 hopefully, that are redeemable about you. If you get into a car wreck and you're put out and you've

00:28:48.920 got to take your truck in and you got to pay the deductible on your insurance, at least you're

00:28:54.180 alive. At least you have the vehicle or you have the means to replace it or you have the means for

00:29:02.020 somebody to come in and repair it for you. There's always something that's going to go wrong and

00:29:06.880 nobody wants to be around the guy who's like, yep, throw up my hands. Something went wrong. Just

00:29:11.580 another thing. If I didn't have bad luck, I wouldn't have any luck at all. I don't want to be that guy.

00:29:15.860 You don't want to be that guy. So let's start looking for, even in the most difficult circumstances,

00:29:22.300 let's look for the blessings that are there. A great book, classic, timeless book is Man's

00:29:28.600 Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl. He spent time in, I believe he's in an Auschwitz in a 0.79

00:29:34.580 concentration camp. Some of the most horrific circumstances in an environment a person can ever

00:29:40.440 be in. And yet he found a way through his practice of therapy, through his philosophy of life to be

00:29:48.080 grateful and to serve other people. And that's the last point that I wanted to make with you today

00:29:53.380 about gratitude. You have your health, you have your intelligence, you have the ability to

00:29:59.360 communicate. Maybe you have financial abundance. Maybe there's a certain skillset that you have.

00:30:05.180 If you can use your resources to serve other people and to make a meaningful difference in the

00:30:12.100 lives of others, you will live a better life. We don't do it so we'll live a better life. We do it

00:30:17.940 hopefully because it's the right thing to do. Using your talents and your abilities, your gifts,

00:30:25.160 your skillset, and your resources is a wonderful thing. That's the reason you're here. You would not have

00:30:31.940 the skills that you have. I would not have the ability that I have to communicate effectively

00:30:37.120 if I wasn't supposed to learn how to communicate effectively with you. I wouldn't have access to

00:30:43.480 this technology if I wasn't supposed to utilize it to share a message that is going to impact

00:30:49.500 millions of men's lives. I'm supposed to be doing something with my life. I'm supposed to be serving.

00:30:57.340 And those of us who are grateful enough or fortunate enough to know exactly what that is,

00:31:05.040 congratulations. If you don't know what that is yet, keep searching, keep looking, keep uncovering,

00:31:12.160 keep discovering, keep trying new things because there's a reason that you're here.

00:31:16.740 And when you figure out what it is, your life is going to become incredible. It truly is.

00:31:22.940 And you're not going to have to work, as they say, a day in your life. It's trite, I know. But it's so

00:31:28.820 true. If you love what you do, you'll never have to work another day in your life. I know a lot of

00:31:33.620 you aren't there yet. I know a lot of you will be and a lot of you can be. And I believe that it

00:31:38.680 starts with being grateful, that we do have abundance, that we do have prosperity, and there's

00:31:43.940 a lot to be grateful for. So as I wind this down on the day after Thanksgiving, again, I want to end by

00:31:51.420 saying thank you for supporting me. Thank you for believing me. Thank you for standing by me when

00:31:57.440 you didn't have a lot of reason to, especially in some of my darkest moments of life, which happened

00:32:02.800 over the past year and a half. A lot of people left and a lot of people gave up. And I understand.

00:32:08.460 I actually, I can see why they would. But a lot of you, most of you didn't. And most of you doubled

00:32:16.560 down. And a lot of you said, hey, you know what, Ryan, you screwed up, but let's see what you do now.

00:32:22.480 And you're watching a redemption story. And that's what I'm trying to do. And I want to thank you for

00:32:27.600 being part of it. And thank you for still believing in me. But more importantly, thank you for believing

00:32:32.500 in the mission. And thank you for living out the motto, which is to protect, provide, preside.

00:32:38.600 That is what we're supposed to do here as men. And you're doing it well. And if you don't feel

00:32:43.300 like you're doing it well, we all have room for improvement. So let's get after it.

00:32:47.400 I hope you have a great Thanksgiving weekend. Guys, we'll be back next week for an interview

00:32:51.640 with a NASA, former NASA astronaut, author of Moonshot. Great book, great conversation

00:32:58.200 with Mr. Mike Massimino. And I hope you enjoy that one. Until then, go out there,

00:33:03.520 take action and become the man you are meant to be.

00:33:06.460 Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast. If you're ready to take charge of

00:33:11.160 your life and be more of the man you were meant to be, we invite you to join the order

00:33:15.340 at orderofman.com.

Order of Man - November 24, 2023

A Pragmatic Guide to Gratitude ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

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