A Primer on Biblical Masculinity | BISHOP ROBERT BARRON
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Summary
In this episode, we tackle a conversation we ve never had before on this podcast. Bishop Robert Barron, Auxiliary Bishop of the Archdiocese of Los Angeles joins us to discuss the concept of biblical masculinity and what it means to be a man.
Transcript
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Today, we tackle a conversation we've never had on this podcast, biblical masculinity,
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as you men are well aware, order of man is a non-religious movement, but that doesn't mean
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that we can't, or even shouldn't look at all available paths to the type of men that we have
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a desire to be. And I can think of no better guest to have this type of conversation than Bishop
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Robert Barron, auxiliary Bishop of the archdiocese of Los Angeles. During our conversation,
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we talk about David as an example of biblical masculinity, individual sovereignty versus
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God's sovereignty, literal and figurative interpretations of the Bible, Jesus Christ
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as a fighter, and choosing to live the commandments. You're a man of action. You live life to the
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fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back
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up one more time, every time. You are not easily deterred or defeated, rugged, resilient, strong.
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This is your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become at the end of the day.
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And after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.
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Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Mickler, and I am the host and the founder
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of the podcast and the movement Order of Man. I want to welcome you here. If you are new to the
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show, want to let you know this is a podcast about becoming a better man. That is it. So everything
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that we do from the podcast and our social media posts and blogs and videos and events that we run,
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everything, everything that we're doing is all designed to give you the tools, the conversations,
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the resources, the guidance, the framework to becoming a better, more capable husband,
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father, community leader, business owner, any facet of life in which you show up. So I'm honored that
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you're here. Glad that you're here each and every week, the podcast and the download numbers and
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social media accounts continue to grow. The numbers are great, but more important than the numbers guys
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is what they represent, which is you as a man. Again, whether it's a father or a husband, you as
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a, an employee or owner of your business or a leader or a coach in the community. It's the fact
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that each of the numbers of downloads and social media views and everything else represent one other
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man who will go on to serve his family and his community and his business and everything else
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more effectively. So I got a very interesting one lined up for you today. I do ask that before we get
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into the conversation. If you are listening to this, that you keep an open mind. I know this is
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going to be controversial. I know that I'm going to have a lot of emails from people who don't
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necessarily agree with, with the conversation today, but you know what? This is good. This is
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important that we have these types of conversations and that we keep an open mind and learn new things
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that maybe we haven't considered before. So I'm going to get to that in a very quick minute here,
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on your order again, origin, main.com use the code order. All right, guys, let's get into the
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conversation with my guest. Uh, I've been looking forward to introducing you to him for some time.
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Now, his name is Bishop Robert Barron. He currently serves as the auxiliary Bishop to the Archdiocese of
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Los Angeles. Uh, he's also the founder of word on fire Catholic ministries. Uh, he's been asked to
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speak at Facebook, Google, uh, Amazon on the subject of religion. He's discussed and debated with
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Jordan Peterson and Ben Shapiro. And he also serves as a religious correspondent for NBC Fox news and
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CNN. Now, in addition to all that, if that wasn't enough, he reaches nearly 2 million people on his
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social media accounts and over 350,000 people receive his daily email reflections. So obviously,
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uh, the man is very, very influential. And during our discussion today, I think you're going to hear
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exactly why enjoy Bishop Barron. Thanks for joining us on the order of man podcast.
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You are quite welcome. I'm delighted to be with you. Yeah, I am too. Uh, this is frankly a
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conversation in the past five years that I have not broached on the podcast for, uh, uh, deliberate
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reasons, but I'm, I've always been impressed with your level-headed approach and your, uh, you seem like
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a reasonable man. And I think this is a great time to have this conversation and you're the perfect one to
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have it with. Well, I appreciate that. Thanks. Yeah, you bet. Uh, I really want to talk about
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and center this conversation around the idea of biblical masculinity. Obviously our show is
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catered towards and, and, and talks with men about being men and how to be men. And I'd like to, uh,
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explore where, uh, your thought process is on where masculinity comes from and even look into the
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Bible as examples of biblical masculinity and how we as men can step into that as well, or at least
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considerate, I should say. Yeah, good. Uh, is there, uh, is there a place that you feel like we could
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start as far as how the Bible or God defines masculinity? Well, you know, the Bible tends to present
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things more concretely and less abstractly. So you're not going to find philosophical discussions.
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You're going to see narrative presentations. So the Bible, I think, lays out to us, um, narrative
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accounts of great men and how these men, um, you know, achieve their masculinity in relation to God.
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So I'd begin with those, with the great narratives, maybe especially David, who in so many ways is kind
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of an archetypal figure in the Bible, but I think is a model of, um, of masculinity in the biblical
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sense. So I do narrative more than sort of abstract philosophical accounts.
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I actually think that makes more sense. And I'm sure that more men resonate with it being a narrative
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because that's how we bond anyways, through story, right? The Bible is a collection of stories that
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we can extract lessons from. I guess I'm curious as to when it comes to these stories, like how do you
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determine what you should take as literal interpretation or figurative interpretation of
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some of the stories and lessons in the Bible? Yeah, there's no easy univocal answer to that question.
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It's a question that's been asked as long as the Bible has been around. I'm sure. And I think the
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first thing is to be attentive to genre. So the Bible is a collection of books of different genre and
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for different audiences written by different authors for different purposes. And, you know,
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the Bible would contain everything from legend and saga and tall tale to history to epistolary
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literature, like the letters of Paul, gospel, apocalypse, song, and they're all different in
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literary style and intention. So attending to that, I think, is key to, you know, the question of,
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is it literal or is it figurative? Depends. And sometimes within a given book, you'll go back
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and forth between various genre. So I know that people always want, on both kind of the left and
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the right, they want a univocal answer. You know, it's all history, it's all mythology or whatever.
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Well, it's really kind of an amalgam of all those things, which is why as a Catholic, I would say
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you've got to read the Bible within the church, meaning within the great interpretive tradition
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of the church going back thousands of years during to the present day. And the church kind of teaches
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us how best to appropriate these stories. But in a way, like for our purposes today, it probably
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wouldn't matter all that much. You know, so if you take the narrative of David, I mean, how much of the
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David story is what we call factual history? You know, I'd say there's a fair amount of it. And then
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is a lot of it elaboration, theological development? Yeah, sure. And that we can have
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that discussion, but probably for our purposes, just to look at the narratives themselves and see
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what they communicate to us. That's probably a better way to go.
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I think it makes sense. I hate to discount it this way, but some stories don't really matter
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whether or not they're literal or true or whatever it may be. And again, I'm not trying to discount any of
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it, but for the context of what we're discussing, the lesson can be extracted all the same.
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Right. And it's a good point you're making, though, because see, the Bible, it matters very
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much in our tradition that there's an historical ground that God really spoke to real human beings
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in history. Now, we have, of course, theological elaboration and all that sort of thing. You don't
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have journalistic reportage in the Bible typically, or what we call today history in the contemporary
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sense of the term. Nevertheless, that God really addressed a people, Israel, in time and in their
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history, that matters. And so you can't go to the other extreme and just say, oh, it's all kind of
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mythic, you know, imagination. It matters very much that the Bible is historical. But then we can't go to
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the opposite extreme and say, okay, therefore, it's all just straightforward journalistic reportage.
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It's an amalgam of all that. Yeah, I think there is a trend in society to assume that in a lot of
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ways, nothing matters or history doesn't matter. And to take things very lightly and very casually
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when there are some things, whether we're talking about the Bible or any other facet of life, that
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there's some places where we ought to exhibit some level of reverence and respect for that thing and
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the seriousness of what it is we're talking about. Yeah, quite right. Quite right. What characteristics
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or features with David do you feel stand out and is representative of biblical masculinity?
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Oh, there's got you so much. You know, first of all, David is one of the only characters in the
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Bible for whom we have a whole arc. You know what I'm saying? We have an account of David as a very
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young kid. And then we follow the arc of his life all the way till he's a very old man. And that's
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extremely rare in the Bible. You'd have that sort of narrative completion. But look at, gosh, many
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points along that narrative arc we could focus on. Look how he emerges. We first hear about David
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as a shepherd who's willing even to take on the attack of a bear, of a wild animal, to protect his
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flock. So even as a little kid, David is humble. So, you know, when the prophet Samuel comes to anoint
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one of the sons of Jesse, and they bring all these seven impressive sons before the prophet, and he
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goes, no, this is not the one. This is not the one. And then, do you have any other sons? And well,
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there's little, you know, David out. He's tending the sheep. You couldn't possibly mean him. And of course,
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that's the one whom God wants. First lesson there is humility. When David is humble before the Lord,
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the Lord can accomplish enormous things through him. Watch now as his career unfolds. At key moments,
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the properly functioning David listens to the Lord, abides by his word, waits for his command,
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asks, Lord, what should I do? Well, that's the humility that began as the little kid tending the
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sheep, and it endures throughout his life. Now, turn it around. When does David go bad? And it's
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perfectly consistent in that story. He goes bad whenever he stops listening to the Lord. And when
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he says, it's my idea, it's my plan, it's I'm gonna do what I want. Best example is the famous incident
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with Bathsheba. David's up on the roof of his house, you know. That time of year, mind you,
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the Bible says, when kings go on campaign. And David was always on campaign. David always was ready
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to engage the enemy. But this time, he's at home, on the roof, and it says, taking a long siesta.
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Well, there's David now, who's refusing his task, and never once listens to the Lord. In fact,
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from that height, he assumes a kind of God-like perspective. Now he looks out over his city,
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he sees the object of his desire, Bathsheba. He makes these staccato, barking commands and gets
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her to come. David is not listening to God. He's acting like God. And that's when his identity kind
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of unravels. So that's the first thing I noticed about David, is that he's a humble man. But then
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also go back to that first scene. The first thing we learn about him is a little kid. He's a fighter.
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Later, David engages this animal who's threatening the flock. He's a little kid of extraordinary
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courage, and a willingness to defend what's good, and what God has given him to defend.
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That too, now, we can trace all the way from that opening scene, all the way through the arc of his
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life. David, like all the great kings of Israel, is a warrior. And he's willing to defend the boundaries
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of what God gave him, but also to expand. So it was to bring God's kingdom to a wider and wider
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audience. So that courageous willingness to engage, that's a major part of, I think,
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masculinity in the biblical vision. And again, look at the Bathsheba. When they're meant to go on
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campaign, that's when David is at home having a siesta. So the refusal to engage, the refusal to
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protect, that becomes a source of trouble. Yeah, that's really interesting. I know we talk quite
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a bit about initiative and recognizing problems and challenges, and then having a willingness to
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address them. But also, I see in David and other figures in the Bible, not only a willingness, but
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also the capacity, the capability to protect, to do what is necessary as well. It can't just be
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a willingness. It has to be supported with the ability to defend or protect or go into battle
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or whatever it is that that figure is doing. Yeah, and here's another interesting connection.
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So David is one of the great prototypes of Christ, now from a Christian perspective. So we look back
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in the Old Testament and see anticipations of Jesus. Jesus is the new David, or he's the son of David
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in the New Testament. And Jesus is absolutely a fighter. Watch how he engages those who are
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opposed to him. But the interesting thing is, Jesus does not battle with the weapons of the world.
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And this is a very important part of the trajectory of the whole Bible. We're not honoring in Jesus just,
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you know, one more earthly or worldly warrior among others. But his great battle is on the cross.
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Jesus on the cross taking on the enemies of Israel, but not engaging them violently, but engaging them
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precisely through nonviolence and engaging them with the forgiving love and mercy of God, which does,
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in a very serious way, outmaneuver the powers of the world. Here's an interesting connection,
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again, with David in mind. Michelangelo's famous sculpture, right, of the naked David. So going out to
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meet Goliath, but completely undefended, that's the point. Remember, in the account in the Bible,
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Goliath, we hear about every bit of armament he has on, in great detail, his spear and his sword and
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his armament and his shield and his shield-bearer. He's like an image of worldly power. David meets him,
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armed with only the slingshot. Michelangelo emphasized that with the nakedness of David.
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But see, the Christian looking at that also sees the anticipation of Jesus, who, naked on the cross,
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defenseless on the cross, engages the powers of the world in the most effective way. And so it's a very
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interesting thing about, yes, a warrior, yes, someone willing to defend, but if we look at the
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whole trajectory of the Bible, it's not in the worldly way, but in this far stranger and more
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efficacious way of engaging through nonviolence. So anyway, that's, if you want to get the whole
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picture of that trajectory, I would do that from David all the way to Jesus.
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Yeah. You know, does that nakedness of David, do you think that's representative of even a level of
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innocence? I mean, we've been taught and instructed to be childlike in a lot of ways, right? To put
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away a lot of childish behavior, but childish innocence in a lot of ways as well.
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No, that's precisely right. Because look, David is in anticipation of Jesus, but also go back
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before David. He's a kind of recapitulation of Adam. And there's a whole biblical development of
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that theme. But Adam before the fall is naked because of, as you say correctly, his innocence.
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What's that motif in the New Testament when the disciples, after the resurrection of Jesus,
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there they are in the boat, and it says that Peter is gymnos, that's the Greek term, which means naked.
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A gymnasium, right? It's a place where you would exercise and so on.
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So he's gymnos, he's nude. And then he throws on clothes, right, before he goes to see Jesus.
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And that's meant to call our minds all the way back to Adam, who was naked in the presence of
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the Lord until he sinned, and then he had to cover himself in shame. So Peter, who knew that he had
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denied the Lord, now has to cover himself before he meets the Lord again, you know? So you're right,
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that theme of innocence is interesting. And Michelangelo gets that in the nudity of David,
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but also the nakedness of Jesus on the cross, is the act by which our innocence is restored.
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How do we manifest that innocence in a way, and tap into that, without obviously taking our clothes
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off, because that would be highly inappropriate, right? So how do we then, in our own lives,
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manifest that innocence, but also the opposite side of that is to be like you said, with Jesus Christ
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being a fighter, David being a fighter. So it seems like there's a dichotomy that would be hard to
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Yeah, it's the innocence comes from obedience in the Bible. So when Adam is obedient, and
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obedere just means to listen, right, when he listens to the voice of the Lord, then he walks in easy
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fellowship with God in the garden. When he refuses to listen, and he becomes his own Lord, so that's the
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grasping of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, that's what that means, is he makes himself
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the criterion of good and evil. When that happens, his innocence is lost, shame occurs, he disintegrates
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on the inside, and then disintegration follows on the outside. Now read Genesis 3 through 12,
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you've got Cain and Abel, you've got the Noah's Ark, you've got the Tower of Babel,
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all these stories of the disintegration of the human community, that follows from the primal
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disintegration of Adam, which comes from disobedience. That's the way the Bible, I think,
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unfolds it. Genesis 12 is the call of Abraham, right? There's the beginning of God's rescue
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operation, and it says, Abraham listened to the voice of the Lord. So there's the key. Do you listen
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to your own ego or to a higher voice? Now, go forward from Abraham all the way to David? What
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do you have? Same thing. When David listens, Lord, what should I do? Lord, tell me, do I go out against
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the Philistines? Lord, where do I go? He flourishes. And the kingdom of Israel expands during that time.
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When David refuses to listen, he loses his innocence, he disintegrates, the kingdom disintegrates.
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That's, I mean, of permanent value, that spiritual insight, it seems to me. And that's the key to our
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innocence is obedience to a higher voice. Now, if you want, that's a real man. A real man is someone
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who listens not to his own ego and prerogatives, but who stubbornly and steadily abides by the law of
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the Lord. Keeping himself integral and his family around him integral and the society around his
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family integral. That's key to a biblical vision, I think. Yeah, I'm actually really glad we're
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talking about this because I thought a lot about what I wanted to discuss with you, and I listened
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to some podcasts and things like that. And one of the last ones that you did was talking about
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choosing to keep the commandments. And what's really interesting is I talk with a lot of guys who have
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a very difficult time. So let me give you a little bit of context here. About a year and a half or so
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ago, I wrote a book called Sovereignty. And in the book itself, I talk about a man's responsibility to
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be sovereign over himself, to take individual and personal responsibility. And it was funny because
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I was met with quite a few thoughts about what people see as a confliction between individual
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responsibility, sovereignty, whatever you may want to call it, and then being accountable to God's
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sovereignty. Now I've never seen that. It's not hard for me to make that connection. Like I, I am
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accountable to God. That's my belief. And also I have a personal responsibility, but it seems to me
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that there's a lot of men who can't quite seem to make the connection live to and for God. And also
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I'm responsible for myself and my family and my direct obligations.
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Yeah. But one follows right from the other. You know, the key to everything in a biblical vision,
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it's for men and women too, but the key to everything is acknowledging the sovereignty of God.
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God is referred to in the Bible as the Lord. It's very important, isn't it? The lordliness of God.
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God is king. God is the Lord of my life. In a Christian perspective, when I speak of the lordship
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of Jesus, Jesus Christ is Lord of my life, that means he commands every aspect of my life.
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He's not someone that I entertain from time to time. You know, I find kind of mildly interesting.
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Oh, sure. A lot of spiritual teachers and Jesus is one of them. And no, no, no. If you say he's the
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Lord of your life, that means he commands your mind. He commands your will. He commands your body.
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He commands your sexuality. He commands your family. He commands everything. He's the Lord of
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you. But see, from that lordship, so let's say a man acknowledging that, that gives him
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the proper sovereignty, if you want, over himself and over his family. That's where it comes from.
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If a man is having sovereignty over his family based on his own ego, God help his family. That's
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going to be a, that's a parody of what the Bible is talking about. But rather, a man who,
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like David at his best, listens to the Lord, obeyedire, obeys the Lord, that gives him a proper
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sovereignty over his family. And then he'll govern his family well. And here's an interesting thing.
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Family. We have a very kind of sentimentalized or secularized understanding of family values.
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Look at the Bible, though, about the family. What's the whole purpose of a family? It's to be a little
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society in which everybody learns his or her mission. Because what life's all about is accepting
00:24:34.000
our mission from God. God's got a mission for everybody. What's the father's job in a family,
00:24:39.020
the mother's too, I'd say, the two of them acting together, help their children discern their mission.
00:24:44.460
When fathers and mothers begin saying, no, no, my children are means by which I'm going to accomplish
00:24:49.580
certain ends, right? I'm going to live my life through my kids, or I'm going to manipulate,
00:24:54.400
fall apart. Rather, the father, under obedience to God, finding his mission, now is to help his
00:25:03.580
children find their mission, and finally to let them go. Examples abound, actually, in the Bible.
00:25:11.480
Think of Jesus, the 12-year-old Jesus in the temple. So he moves away from his mother and father.
00:25:20.180
He goes to the temple. There he spends his time in the house of his father. When Mary and Joseph come,
00:25:26.080
and, you know, how could you have done this to us? Didn't you know I was to be in the house of my
00:25:31.280
father? In other words, his whole life was about the discovery of this great mission of his.
00:25:36.500
It wasn't about being part of some other plan, some other set of desires. It was to be
00:25:44.460
in the house of his father, you know? So a good father helps his children discern their mission,
00:25:52.720
and that's a father under the sovereignty of God. I think where a lot of men get hung up is they feel
00:26:00.960
like they're not as in control, and I guess that's actually probably true, but they don't have as much
00:26:07.980
power because they've subjected themselves to a higher power in this case, and in their minds,
00:26:15.240
they view that as an inferior position. Well, it is an inferior position, and we shouldn't be
00:26:22.020
clinging to false forms of power. In other words, if I'm claiming power over and against God,
00:26:26.200
then I'm in the stance of Lucifer or Adam after the fall. Authentic power comes precisely from a
00:26:33.800
surrender to God. Now, here's the key. The God of the Bible is not the God of Greek and Roman
00:26:40.100
mythology. That is to say, someone who's in competition with us, who has a rivalry with us,
00:26:46.120
so the more power God gets, the less I have. On the contrary, in the Bible, what God wants is for
00:26:52.720
us to be fully alive. Therefore, the more I surrender to God, the more I become myself. God
00:26:59.660
wants my flourishing more than I do. See, we sinners, part of the way to define sin is that we don't
00:27:07.700
even know what we want anymore. We don't know what real flourishing is. God does, and so when I surrender
00:27:14.240
to God, I find true power. I find true flourishing. And so if you see it as a rivalry, then you're not
00:27:21.980
seeing it right. And if you're clinging to false power, which is, say, over and against God, you've
00:27:28.460
got to give up that game. That's going to lead to disaster in you and around you. No, no, no.
00:27:34.020
Subjection to God is a manly thing to do. And now we're getting closer to the heart of the matter,
00:27:40.060
maybe. The most manly thing you can do is subject yourself to God. And that will unleash what is best in
00:27:47.960
you, in your mind, in your will, in your powers, and it'll be the best for your family.
00:27:53.120
Worst thing you can do is cling to phony, worldly power, which is egotistical and opposed to God.
00:28:01.800
Men, specifically fathers, I just need to interject here for just a very quick minute.
00:28:06.120
We are coming down to the wire on closing down registration for our legacy experience,
00:28:10.320
and I want you and your son to be there. Check your calendars because it's going to be held June
00:28:15.240
11th through the 14th. Again, June 11th through the 14th, 2020 this year on my property here in
00:28:21.160
Maine. This is an experience unlike any other, and it's designed to be a three and a half days of
00:28:27.620
extensive physical and intellectual competition and camaraderie between you and 19 other fathers
00:28:34.000
and sons. We've created an event that will quite literally transform the relationship that you and
00:28:39.300
your boy have together. And ultimately we want to give you the tools and the resources and framework
00:28:43.520
for you to usher your boy into manhood in a world that seems to be increasingly dismissive
00:28:49.760
of it. If you're even the least bit interested, then head to order of man.com slash legacy,
00:28:55.820
order of man.com slash legacy. You can watch a very quick video of our last event and then learn more
00:29:01.000
about what the weekend entails, but you got to do it quickly because we have three spots remaining.
00:29:05.820
And I'm going to send out an email this week. And I imagine we'll, we'll be done once that email
00:29:10.980
goes out. So if you are interested, you want to check it out, order of man.com slash legacy.
00:29:16.040
And I hope to see you there. All right, guys, back to the conversation with Bishop Barron.
00:29:21.180
Yeah, it's, it's, it's interesting because I see a lot of these men who, who have some of these
00:29:25.780
thoughts and to give a, maybe an analogy is, you know, these guys understand that waking up early,
00:29:33.920
for example, and then spending an hour in the gym under voluntary hardship and being disciplined
00:29:40.100
to do things that aren't always physically and mentally comfortable. That's challenging
00:29:44.480
as a, as a way to unlock the best version of themselves physically and mentally, I would say
00:29:51.700
as well. And I know we're mutual friends with the mind pump media guys, and I've listened to your
00:29:56.400
conversations with them, great guys. And they obviously talk a lot about this. So they see this
00:30:01.640
level of discipline towards, for example, physical fitness as being subjecting themselves to, to
00:30:07.480
participating in these activities, and then it will produce a, a better result, but they can't seem
00:30:12.820
to make that same correlation between subjecting themselves to the commandments or the word of God
00:30:18.300
or the gospel or, or certain principles of the gospel. No, that's exactly right. And it's exactly
00:30:24.540
the right comparison, seems to me. Along with the gym, how about a holy hour? Go back to David. Is
00:30:35.180
David a great warrior? Was David undoubtedly in the kind of physical shape he needed to be in to be a
00:30:41.740
warrior? Was Michelangelo correct in the way he depicts David as this, you know, sure, sure. But David
00:30:48.080
is also someone who took the time, and read the scripture on this, to listen to the Lord. May that
00:30:54.720
hour in the gym be met by another hour, I'll speak as a Catholic, before the Blessed Sacrament,
00:31:01.120
in the presence of Christ, asking for direction. I mean, I do that every day. I'm a morning guy,
00:31:08.560
so I wake up early and I go to my chapel, and I pray the prayers that I'm obliged to as a priest.
00:31:14.480
But at the heart of it, for me, typically is, Lord, what do you want me to do? What do you want me to do
00:31:21.680
today? Tell me. I have this, this, this, and that on my schedule. What do you want me to say? What do
00:31:27.360
you want me to do? That's a discipline, putting myself under a higher authority, subjecting myself
00:31:36.240
to a higher power. Good. That unleashes what's best in me. Unleashes, just as you say, exactly right,
00:31:45.600
that you're, when you enter into the discipline of the gym, it's meant to unleash what's best in you.
00:31:51.280
It's not a subjugation. It's a liberation. Soul listening to God.
00:31:57.680
What, so when you ask these types of questions, I've always been very curious, and of course, I have my
00:32:02.800
own experience. But when you ask these types of questions like, what should I do? How can I help?
00:32:08.800
Where should I go? What information do I need? And who do I need to visit with and talk with?
00:32:14.560
How do those answers manifest themselves to you? Well, in a way, I always know the answer already.
00:32:21.760
And it's because I've been brought up in the church. And the answer is, what's the path of love?
00:32:28.080
Love, which if you follow me, you know, I often talk about is not a feeling or an emotion,
00:32:32.960
because emotions come and go. We can't really control them. Love is willing the good of the other.
00:32:38.400
That's a nice, austere definition from my hero, St. Thomas Aquinas. To love is to will the good of the
00:32:45.360
other. So, Lord, what should I do? Well, what's the path of love that opens itself up for you today?
00:32:51.600
How can you best will the good of the other today? Now, the specifics of that, yeah, I find they tend to
00:32:59.680
manifest themselves. That's to say, God places in your path opportunities for love. And you say,
00:33:07.040
ah, okay, that was, that was really good. I was able in that context to will the good of the other.
00:33:13.440
The prayer I do at the end of the day often takes the form of what Ignatius of Loyola calls the
00:33:19.440
consciousness examine. It's an examination of yourself, really, in the course of the day.
00:33:26.400
And it'll often take the form of, okay, what were the opportunities for love
00:33:31.840
that you presented to me today, Lord, and how did I respond to them? And so I'm discerning both
00:33:37.360
what was good about my day and where I sinned. Sin is a failure to love. That's always what it is,
00:33:42.880
in some form. So that's how you do it. You always attend to that most fundamental question. What's the
00:33:50.400
path of love? Then you begin looking around. Okay, what's presenting itself to me?
00:33:55.760
God is a God of providence and of grace. That is to say, he's not a distant power,
00:34:00.800
uninterested in us, but is deeply interested in us. That's the Bible. Every page of the
00:34:06.640
Bible argues that. And so he's interested in drawing us into his life. And that means into
00:34:13.280
deeper love. So watch for the opportunities. I like that you're talking about looking for,
00:34:19.840
acknowledging these opportunities, and then taking action, right? Stepping into them. One of the
00:34:24.400
things I hear all the time is things like, well, if it was meant to be, or if it was God's will,
00:34:29.200
it would just happen. And I'm like, maybe the opportunity would be available, but you still
00:34:33.440
have to walk through that door. There's still some responsibility you have towards moving towards
00:34:39.840
loving others and serving him and serving those other people.
00:34:42.560
Yeah, God doesn't want puppets. I mean, what a dull world that would be. We're just, we're
00:34:47.440
automatons or robots doing, you know, we're just pre-programmed to do what God wants. God wants a
00:34:53.520
kind of romance and an adventure, which always involves freedom. So there's a proposition to my
00:34:59.600
freedom. God has the respect for my freedom and lures it to be sure. You know, so freedom is not like
00:35:06.080
sheer autonomy. Like I just wildly decide whatever I want to do. I'm always being lured in different
00:35:11.360
directions. My freedom is being engaged by this good or that good. And so God proposes to us all
00:35:17.200
the time. And that's a way to read your life. You know what I'm saying? Is if you say, okay,
00:35:22.560
I'm going to start my day by just looking for what God is proposing to me. So right now I'm talking to
00:35:28.800
you. And from a spiritual standpoint, it's like, okay, what's the opportunity here to will the good
00:35:35.600
of the other? How come, you know, through, I think it was through Jared Zimmer or Brandon Vaught or
00:35:41.360
people that knew you better, that this opportunity came to me and okay, I'll do that. And now I have
00:35:48.640
this privilege of talking to you and okay, what's the opportunity here for love? Lord, show me.
00:35:55.200
And then I'm going to move on from this. I've got a kind of a busy day today and all kinds of other
00:36:00.740
opportunities will present themselves. So that's how you, you survey your life. Not like, as you
00:36:05.460
know, as they say, just, you know, one darn thing after another, but it's, um, one opportunity
00:36:11.700
for love after another. And how did I respond in freedom to those?
00:36:16.900
Yeah. And I found with opportunities like that as well, is that the, the more often we step into
00:36:22.100
those opportunities, the more that we are given right in the, and the less that we step into those
00:36:27.780
opportunities or reject those opportunities in one form or the other, it's that, that,
00:36:32.100
that window seems to me to begin to close a little bit until you expand and you're willing to walk
00:36:36.820
through more of those things. Quite right. And you know, there, you're very much onto the
00:36:42.100
theological anthropology of John Paul II. So John Paul II said that every time you make a choice,
00:36:47.940
a free choice, you're choosing to do a particular thing, but you're also in the broader sense,
00:36:54.020
choosing the person that you're becoming, right? So right now I'm talking to you. That was a
00:37:00.740
particular choice I made to be here in freedom, but I'm also, um, choosing the kind of character
00:37:08.580
that I'm becoming. And with each choice, that character is either strengthened or it's weakened,
00:37:15.540
right? And so if you steadily walk the path of sin, you're always walking the path of resistance to God,
00:37:23.060
of turning away from love, turning toward the ego. That's creating yourself in a very negative way.
00:37:30.180
You're, you're producing a negative self. On the contrary, a saint is someone who continually chooses
00:37:38.980
the path of love and that creates the person they become. So that's a very important thing. And you can
00:37:45.940
see in spiritual direction, what you do with someone is ask a question like that.
00:37:49.860
Uh, what kind of person are you becoming by the choices you're making? Um, God wants you fully
00:37:57.380
alive. There's a basic biblical principle. Gloria Dei homo vivens. The glory of God as a human being
00:38:03.220
alive, right? Um, all right. Are you becoming more alive or are you moving toward a death? Are you on the
00:38:11.300
wide path that leads to destruction? Are you on the narrow path that leads to life, to put it in Jesus' terms?
00:38:15.940
Um, okay. We better pay, start paying attention to that. Well, I just think there's a lot of people
00:38:21.540
who believe that these in, uh, seemingly insignificant tasks or actions or behaviors, or even thoughts,
00:38:27.860
uh, don't play a big part in the grand scheme of things. It seems to me that I've been this way too.
00:38:33.860
I'm not pointing fingers that, you know, this doesn't matter if I'm, if I'm, uh, don't show up fully,
00:38:39.860
or if I, you know, just steal a little bit or I'll tell this little white lie, like that doesn't matter,
00:38:44.500
but you start building up this trend of behaving that way. And that's, that's where it creates the
00:38:49.140
problem. Absolutely. And that, it has to back to Aristotle. I mean, if you have the stick and you
00:38:53.380
keep bending it this way a little bit, this way a little bit, a little bit, a little bit before you
00:38:57.060
know it, that stick is way out of, out of line, you know? And so yeah, each, each think of that
00:39:02.140
it's John Paul second, each moral act is like building a wall or something. It's building an
00:39:07.300
edifice. And with each negative act, I'm building this, this dysfunctional edifice that I'm living
00:39:12.020
in. Right. With each positive act that I will the good of the other, that I will the good of the
00:39:17.460
other. That's the great question to keep asking. Yeah. I like that. Another way to put that biblically
00:39:22.260
is that I listened to God. See, that's the, now bringing back to David, that I listened to God
00:39:26.900
because God is love as we hear. And so what God is always telling us is be like me. Walk the path that
00:39:34.660
I give you to walk. Um, that's in a way, all that matters. Yeah. That, that analogy,
00:39:39.700
I heard another analogy with, with the tree that you're talking about, the bending of the tree is,
00:39:43.700
if you take a sapling and you let that sapling grow, you put stakes in, right. And you, if you,
00:39:49.140
and you put the strings around the sapling and that lets it grow straight. And then once that tree,
00:39:53.380
that trunk becomes hard and strong and stiff enough to withstand the wind and everything else that it's
00:39:58.180
going to face, it's going to stay true. But if you let it bend without having those,
00:40:04.420
those stakes in the ground, it's still going to become rigid. It just might become rigid towards
00:40:09.220
something that isn't necessarily going to serve its best. The problem is, uh, we so valorize freedom
00:40:16.260
in our culture and there's, that's a whole story we could tell, but we valorize freedom in the modern
00:40:21.380
sense, which means self-determination. And again, nothing wrong with self-determination. I'm not against it,
00:40:26.500
but when we hyper-valorize that, we get twisted because the Bible's not fundamentally interested
00:40:33.540
in self-determination. The Bible's interested in listening to God. And, and I, my freedom's engaged.
00:40:39.460
I'm not becoming a puppet. I mean, God's engaging my freedom, but I become truly free the more I
00:40:46.740
subject myself to God, who wants my good more than I do. See, that's the, that's the paradox.
00:40:53.460
Mm-hmm. Um, but we so valorize, like I decide, even if, as you, to use your example, even if
00:41:00.260
I'm bending this tree in totally the wrong direction, well, by God, I chose it. Well,
00:41:05.300
so what? Right. Did you win because you chose it? Right. Yeah. So now I'm totally twisted out of
00:41:11.140
shape, but by God, I chose it. Um, how much better to say, no, I want to put my choice within the
00:41:17.780
greater context of God's choice for me, right? That I become the person God wants me to be now.
00:41:25.220
I'm really myself. That's the biblical vision. Yeah. Makes sense. You know, we've talked a lot
00:41:30.900
about, uh, God's will and his desire and how do we express and show love. And when I hear that
00:41:36.820
immediately, it comes to mind is service to other people. How do we serve other people? How do we draw
00:41:42.340
them closer to him? Where does, where does yourself individually loving yourself, taking care of
00:41:50.380
yourself, giving yourself time to work on you and maybe even to a degree being a little selfish
00:41:56.340
fall into play here? Yeah. No, there's room for it. Of course, because the old Latin, uh, adage,
00:42:02.180
name, O dad, quadron, hobbit. I mean, no one gives what he doesn't have. And so if life is all about
00:42:07.140
self gift, we got to have something to give. I mean, if you're, you're so negligent of yourself
00:42:11.380
that you, you finally have nothing to give. If someone is so physically debilitated that they
00:42:15.780
can't possibly even do the acts of, of charity, well, what's the point? Or if you're so psychologically
00:42:21.300
messed up that what you give is actually rotten fruit, well, that's no good. I mean, so, uh, under
00:42:27.860
that rubric, name, O dad, quadron, hobbit, I would say, yeah, you've got to attend to your physical
00:42:32.620
wellbeing and your psychological wellbeing. If you're going to be a capable vehicle of love,
00:42:38.620
that you have to have some integrity, you know? So no, I have no quarrel with that whatsoever.
00:42:42.700
People, I, when I was rector of the seminary, I would tell the students, you know, keeping in shape
00:42:47.500
physically is, is not a luxury. It's a prerequisite for a priest because it's a tough life. It's a hard
00:42:54.060
life being a priest and, and you got to be fit enough to live it. Um, and then psychologically
00:43:00.060
well-adjusted. I mean, you got to do some really tough things as a priest. You're called upon to
00:43:05.980
go into some really tough situations. If you're a mess psychologically, you can't help anybody.
00:43:11.260
So no, no, there's, there's plenty of room for that. And that isn't, that isn't selfishness
00:43:15.020
in the, in the biblical sense. That's the kind of, I'd say legitimate self-care for the sake of love,
00:43:23.100
Yeah. I guess that's a good point is, is now you're, you're speaking of motive, right? If,
00:43:27.060
if your, if your desire to be in the gym, let's say for example, cause we've used that already is
00:43:32.420
to prop yourself up to get the accolades and the attention of others so that you can lift and
00:43:37.940
elevate yourself. And that's all that you're after. I would say that that motive is inferior to,
00:43:42.900
I want to be in the best physical shape so that if my wife and I are driving down the road and we
00:43:47.140
get in a car accident, I can lift the car hood off of her. Yeah. And that's a different motive,
00:43:51.300
probably a superior motive, I would say. Yeah. And nothing wrong with, with being healthy and being fit.
00:43:56.580
Sure. And being ready for life in the full sense. Sure. There's nothing wrong with that.
00:44:01.300
As you say, it can tip over into vanity or tip over into, you know, a certain self-absorption. But
00:44:07.140
I see where for the Bible, it's bringing everything in your life under the aegis of love.
00:44:14.740
You know, that's, that's what it means to say, Jesus Christ is Lord of my life. Everything in my
00:44:20.020
life is under the aegis of love, including my physical fitness and my psychological wellbeing.
00:44:24.580
Do you think men are or have a difficult time with
00:44:31.620
the expression of love or even just the word itself? Do you think that has become a problem
00:44:36.980
for a lot of men? Yes. And it's a limitation of our English language, you know, because famously in
00:44:42.500
Greek, you have three different words for, for love. And one designates more like erotic love,
00:44:47.540
another like friendship. And then the third one, agape is what I'm talking about. And that's when
00:44:53.140
you say God is love. That's the word you mean, which is the, is the willing, the good of the other.
00:44:58.740
And so, yeah, the trouble in English, even the word love has an almost automatically sentimental
00:45:04.740
sort of overtone to it. And yeah, I think men can get kind of maybe squirmy around the use of that
00:45:10.420
word. You know, classically, we use the word charity because caritas is the way Latin rendered
00:45:16.580
agape. But the trouble is charity for us tends to mean like, oh, I give money to a charity.
00:45:21.300
Right. And so there really isn't, that's a famous problem. C.S. Lewis addressed that in his book,
00:45:27.380
The Four Loves. There isn't a good English word that names exactly what we're talking about.
00:45:34.580
So stay with love, but de-sentimentalize it. Take it out of a purely emotional sort of context.
00:45:42.180
Put it in this austere, properly austere context of the will. It's an act of the will. And I think
00:45:47.700
that appeals to men. Will the good of the other, even when that costs you. And listen to Jesus.
00:45:54.340
It says, greater love, and the word there is agape, greater love hath no man than to give his life
00:46:00.500
for his friends. See, and that's the test, isn't it? Because that's not erotic love. That's not even
00:46:05.860
love of mere friendship. That's self-gift to the point of giving your whole life away.
00:46:12.820
That's what we're talking about. Right. That's the heart of the matter.
00:46:16.280
Yeah. And this makes sense. I mean, this is a, this is a phrase that, you know, even some of the
00:46:19.980
most hardened warriors use right in battle, like give your life, lay down your life for your fellow
00:46:24.700
man. Right. So I like that you're talking about context. And one of the things that really stands
00:46:29.500
out in our conversation for me is that it's not just about a verse in the Bible or the passage.
00:46:36.380
It's the context. It's where did that word originate? Like what did that word actually used to
00:46:43.340
mean? Or what was it originally? And I think that's something that, that a lot of us, myself
00:46:48.340
included, don't dive into as much as we could. And in a lot of ways, I think, you know, maybe it's,
00:46:53.340
maybe it's laziness, maybe it's busyness, maybe it's just taking things at face value. But I think
00:46:58.680
there's, there's a lot of, a lot to be said for diving deeper into the things that are important to
00:47:03.540
you and really figuring out the history of these things. No, no, quite right. And I'd say this about
00:47:09.520
the Bible goes back to our original question about interpretation. You never take a verse out of
00:47:15.420
the Bible and say, oh, it proves my case. You can prove anything from the Bible that way. You can
00:47:19.460
find whatever you want. You know, the famous, in the Psalm, the fool says in his heart, there's no
00:47:23.840
God. So you can pick out, there's no God from the Bible. Right. I'm an atheist. You can prove whatever
00:47:29.400
you want that way. It's better to attend to what I would call themes, patterns, and trajectories
00:47:36.120
within the Bible. That'll tell you not simply what's in the Bible, but what the Bible is really
00:47:41.960
teaching. So for example, the trajectory from Adam to Abraham to Moses to David to Christ,
00:47:49.680
that's an interesting trajectory to look at. The thematic connections between those figures,
00:47:55.120
that's interesting to look at. Not like just picking out a verse here and there. Sure. But the
00:48:01.180
themes, but the trouble is, in our culture, there's so much biblical illiteracy now. People
00:48:06.900
don't know the Bible the way they used to. I always find it intriguing. Read Abe Lincoln's
00:48:12.180
speeches from the 19th century. He's assuming everyone knows the Bible. He's referring to
00:48:16.720
it all the time. Sometimes explicitly, but often through an implicit reference like a rhythm
00:48:21.960
or a cadence or a phrase that he knew, oh, everyone knows. That's from the Bible. Now,
00:48:28.560
I mean, even some churchgoers often don't know the Bible that well. That's too bad.
00:48:33.960
Well, yeah, it is too bad. I mean, it's too bad when you consider this is something I believe,
00:48:38.180
and yet I don't fully understand everything about what it is I believe. Right? Yeah.
00:48:42.860
I'm going to choose to follow this thing that I'm not fully aware of.
00:48:45.700
Yeah. Yeah. That's a challenge to think. Well, I want to be respectful of your time. I know you've
00:48:51.240
got a hard stop because you've got an extremely busy day. Let me ask you a couple of different
00:48:55.140
questions as we cap things out here. The first one, what does it mean to be a man?
00:49:02.760
I would say, especially in light of what we were talking about, to be a man is to be someone who
00:49:07.400
listens to the voice of God. To be a man is someone who obeys the Lord, who has put his own
00:49:16.920
will and ego aside so as to abide by what God commands. And that's something pretty austere.
00:49:26.140
That's something pretty demanding. Read all the spiritual masters on that. The act and art of
00:49:32.700
putting your own ego aside, to assume humility before the Lord is to be a man. What follows
00:49:39.200
from that, and we'll now amplify it, is a willingness and capacity to protect what God
00:49:46.720
has given you to protect. Whether it's your family, whether it's your spouse, whether it's
00:49:51.080
your community, whether it's the church, like David, like Moses, like Abraham, you're called
00:49:58.380
upon to protect. A man is a fighter. Now, I want to emphasize, you know, given the biblical
00:50:04.600
trajectory, the importance of nonviolence. We're not talking about just becoming a worldly
00:50:10.380
warrior in the ordinary sense. Though sometimes, I think, in dire circumstances, someone is called
00:50:16.140
upon to engage in that kind of fighting. But a man is willing to fight to defend what's given
00:50:21.880
to him. Moreover, a man is someone who, like David, goes on the march. He's not content simply to defend,
00:50:29.140
but he wants to expand the borders of God's kingdom. I'll use New Testament language. That means the
00:50:35.520
kingdom of love and compassion and obedience to the Lord. A man goes on the march. David was the sweet
00:50:44.240
singer of the House of Israel, the King James Bible says. Well, you know what that is? That's someone who
00:50:49.080
can use speech in a very persuasive way, can articulate the ideals and the goals of whether
00:50:57.600
it's a family or a community or a society. I think a man is someone that does that. He's a sweet singer.
00:51:03.620
He's able to speak forth the ideals of the family. So maybe I'd use all those Davidic sort of qualities
00:51:11.360
to characterize what a man is. But the fundamental one, someone that sets his ego aside and listens to
00:51:17.240
God's voice. Yeah. Yeah. It's very powerful. I appreciate you sharing that. Well, what's the
00:51:21.320
best way to connect with you? You've got the podcast and you've got your courses and everything
00:51:26.060
else. Yeah. Wordonfire.org. Go on Word on Fire. And we have all the materials there. I'd encourage
00:51:33.580
people to join the Word on Fire Institute, which is now pretty strong and going very well. People who have
00:51:39.340
made more of a life commitment to follow some of these basic spiritual teachings and to become
00:51:46.100
themselves evangelizers. So I would say if you've gotten a little taste of what we've taught,
00:51:51.820
take the next step and enter into this community that is, there is going on the march if you want,
00:51:57.400
is to evangelize, is to say, I'm going to go on the march and not just benefit from this for myself,
00:52:03.420
but now I'm going to bring it out to others. So wordonfire.org and then join the Word on Fire
00:52:08.760
Institute. Those are two ways. Great. We'll sync it all up so the guys can find that and they can learn
00:52:13.360
more. Terrific. Yeah. I just want to tell you, I appreciate you. I've really respected you from a
00:52:17.500
distance and I'm honored to be able to have this conversation. And although we don't share exactly
00:52:21.520
the same faith, I've learned so much from you and inspired to draw closer to God and my relationship
00:52:28.060
with Him. So I want to tell you thank you for that. Ryan, God bless you for that. I appreciate it
00:52:33.000
very much. Yes. And thank you for taking some time. I know you're a busy man, but I think the guys are
00:52:36.980
getting a lot of value from this. And again, wanted to thank you for doing it. Terrific. God bless you.
00:52:41.500
Gentlemen, there you go. My conversation with Bishop Robert Barron. I hope that you enjoyed
00:52:46.700
that one as much as I enjoyed the conversation and the opportunity to sit down with him. I know
00:52:51.120
that this is going to be, as I said earlier, a bit controversial, but I hope that you're walking
00:52:56.320
away with a new perspective, some new thoughts, whether you agree with everything or not. I think
00:53:00.980
there's a lot to be taken away from this conversation and implemented into our lives. Again, whether you're
00:53:06.540
religious or non-religious, there's lessons about masculinity and how we can improve
00:53:11.260
in whatever capacity we have a desire to improve from all sorts of sources that maybe you've never
00:53:16.460
considered before. So if you enjoyed the podcast, please let me and Bishop Barron know. He shared his
00:53:21.920
social media profiles and everywhere else that he'd want you to go. So make sure you do that and check
00:53:25.460
it out. A very, very inspirational information that he's putting out on a daily basis, which I
00:53:30.580
subscribe to personally. And then also make sure you hit me up on the socials, specifically Instagram
00:53:35.040
and Twitter. That's where I'm doing most of my, my communication these days, both at Ryan
00:53:40.140
Mickler, M I C H L E R is my last name. And let me know what you thought about the show, good, bad,
00:53:46.400
or ugly or indifferent. Let me know what you thought about the show. Always curious and interested in
00:53:51.040
your feedback, because this is how I continue to improve the quality of the podcast and the caliber
00:53:57.220
of guests that I'm having on. The biggest thing is I just want to make sure it resonates with you
00:54:01.340
and that you're getting value from what we're doing here. That'll help us grow. And that most
00:54:05.500
importantly, it'll help us spread the mission of order of man, which is to reclaim and restore
00:54:09.620
masculinity. All right, guys, that's all I've got for you today. We'll be back tomorrow with Kip
00:54:13.980
Sorensen for the ask me anything. And then Friday for your Friday field notes, but until then go out
00:54:18.840
there, take action and become the man you are meant to be. Thank you for listening to the order of man
00:54:23.820
podcast. You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be.
00:54:28.580
We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.