Order of Man - A Primer on Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.

00:00:06.020 When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.480 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong.

00:00:15.500 This is your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become.

00:00:19.760 At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.

00:00:24.700 All right, guys. It's late. Well, I guess it's not that late. It's 8 o'clock in May, and it came to my attention that I had completely overlooked releasing the Friday Field Notes today.

00:00:39.780 And somebody had mentioned something in the Facebook group about not seeing Friday Field Notes, and I was just bragging just last night about not missing a single Friday Field Notes.

00:00:49.420 And so I went through my computer. I went through my files. I went through iTunes. I went through all the places it would be, thinking that, man, I got this prepared before I came out here.

00:00:58.180 And for whatever reason, I didn't have it prepared. And so I'm thinking about it. I'm like, well, I guess we'll just miss this week's Friday Field Notes.

00:01:06.040 And then I remembered that we've done over 300 shows now, and we have not missed a single episode.

00:01:13.420 Not a Tuesday, not a new Ask Me Anything, not a Friday Field Notes, and I'm not about to let that happen right now.

00:01:21.360 So with that said, this is going to be kind of a short one, kind of an unprepared one, but it's going to be a Friday Field Notes nonetheless, because we're going to get it out before midnight our time.

00:01:33.240 And I'm here with my co-host of the Ask Me Anything, Mr. Kip Sorensen.

00:01:38.240 Hey, what's up, guys?

00:01:39.320 Chris, I appreciate you holding my feet to the fire a little bit on this, because I actually asked Kip if he would sacrifice going to our next training just a little bit late, our next jiu-jitsu training just a little bit late so we can get this out to you.

00:01:52.200 So, Kip, lifesaver, man. I appreciate you, brother.

00:01:54.640 I'm doing it for the world, because right now productivity has decreased across men, across the U.S., across Europe, all around the world.

00:02:04.000 Men are sitting around not knowing what to do because they did not have their Friday Field Notes.

00:02:07.880 So it's really for them.

00:02:09.840 If only that was really the case.

00:02:12.100 I don't know. Maybe it's for them. Maybe it's just a pride thing for me. Maybe it's both.

00:02:17.900 Or maybe it's just honor.

00:02:20.400 What do you mean?

00:02:21.440 Well, I think we should honor our word.

00:02:25.180 True.

00:02:25.340 Because you know that men are expecting certain podcasts on certain days, and if they're expecting it, then you should do it.

00:02:33.680 Right, because I told them, directly and indirectly, that I would have a Friday Field Notes out.

00:02:39.100 Yeah, totally.

00:02:39.860 And this morning, people woke up, all around the world, disappointed that they didn't see an Order of Man Friday Field Notes.

00:02:46.660 Totally.

00:02:47.160 So here we are.

00:02:48.160 I thought what would be cool – sorry, go ahead.

00:02:49.520 No, I was just going to say I'm going to slaughter this, but I love this phrase, and I'll do my best.

00:02:56.800 So integrity is doing what you said you would do and doing things the way that you know they should be done and how people expect it.

00:03:09.060 That's good.

00:03:09.680 And that last part is kind of what we're doing today.

00:03:11.980 Yeah.

00:03:12.320 This is integrity.

00:03:13.340 You know people are expecting it.

00:03:14.880 Right.

00:03:15.360 And it may not be what guys expect, but I think we'll still put together a pretty good little conversation here.

00:03:21.800 And I thought it would be perfect since we're out here.

00:03:24.100 We're in Maine.

00:03:25.200 I've been out here for roughly five days.

00:03:27.900 You've been out here for a couple of now.

00:03:29.140 And we're at Origin.

00:03:31.540 A lot of you guys have heard me talk about Origin, but we're at Origin's Immersion Camp, which is a jiu-jitsu camp put on by Origin Maine, put on by Pete Roberts, my friend and founder of Origin Maine.

00:03:44.720 Jocko's out here, Leif Babin, JP Donnell, Dave Burke, all the other black belts they have out here.

00:03:51.300 Yeah, there's a bunch.

00:03:52.000 Which you know better than I do because that's more your world than it is mine, but it has been just an incredible, incredible week, and I'm sore.

00:04:01.160 Maybe that's why you're honoring your word because you're like, I don't know.

00:04:06.560 No, I would do it anyways, although this gives me a little bit of an excuse to say, I'm just going to be a little bit late.

00:04:12.220 Actually, I don't know if I'm going to train tonight.

00:04:14.380 I'm going to go and I'm going to just, I'm going to observe and maybe do some light rolling, but my arm, my left arm, elbow specifically, it feels like the first week of baseball.

00:04:25.160 You know, like you haven't been training, you haven't been throwing hard in the first week of baseball.

00:04:28.440 Did you play baseball?

00:04:29.400 I did play baseball a little bit, but not very much.

00:04:32.540 Dude, it's like the first week where your arm is literally just hanging.

00:04:36.060 It feels like it's four inches longer than the other arm.

00:04:38.780 That's where my elbow's at right now.

00:04:40.340 Yeah.

00:04:41.060 And I don't need my arms for podcasting.

00:04:43.460 Yeah.

00:04:43.820 So we'll be good.

00:04:44.860 Anyways, I thought it'd be cool to talk about, uh, jujitsu.

00:04:47.920 Makes sense.

00:04:48.420 We're out here.

00:04:49.240 I'm fairly new to the world, uh, of jujitsu.

00:04:51.880 That is.

00:04:52.940 And you've been doing it for what?

00:04:54.520 Nine years longer, 10 years, 10 years.

00:04:56.680 Okay.

00:04:56.920 10 years.

00:04:57.520 Just got your Brown belt.

00:04:58.760 Yep.

00:05:00.260 And I'm just realizing this now that the, the lineage is important, right?

00:05:05.080 I mean, cause, cause one person's Brown belt could be somebody else's black or potentially blue belt.

00:05:10.760 Right.

00:05:11.100 I mean, it shouldn't be that, but it is.

00:05:13.340 It is.

00:05:14.060 So what is your lineage then?

00:05:16.140 So I train under, uh, James and Johnny at unified jujitsu in Utah and jujitsu started in Utah from a man by the name of Pedro Sauer.

00:05:27.220 So he came directly from Brazil, uh, started a school in Utah.

00:05:31.280 And then because of that, all the schools in Utah, a lot of them are Pedro Sauer black belts.

00:05:37.340 Okay.

00:05:37.700 So I'm underneath that Pedro Sauer line line.

00:05:41.000 Yeah.

00:05:41.380 And Pedro was, and I'm going to maybe slaughter this.

00:05:44.000 So hopefully Pedro doesn't listen to the podcast.

00:05:45.820 I'm going to call him and tell him one of your protégés.

00:05:47.860 Sorry, Pedro.

00:05:48.660 Don't take away my Brown belt.

00:05:49.900 So he is friends with, uh, I think it's Henzo.

00:05:55.820 So they were child.

00:05:57.620 Is that a Gracie? 0.79

00:05:58.540 Henzo Gracie.

00:05:59.360 I'm not, like I said, this is new to me.

00:06:00.900 So he's friends with Henzo Gracie and they're, they're buddies.

00:06:03.580 Okay.

00:06:03.860 Like you, they were just buddies.

00:06:04.980 And so his dad, Haleo trained, um, you guys have, I don't know if you guys can hear.

00:06:14.980 I have no idea what that was.

00:06:16.240 We've got, we've got one of our buddies, Matthew Arrington, and he's in the cabin right next to

00:06:20.680 us.

00:06:21.120 And he just sounded like a bear, a bear waking from a slumber or something.

00:06:26.700 Anyways, I don't know if the guy, the guys might not have even heard it.

00:06:29.260 I think I heard it in my head.

00:06:30.460 It was a little awkward.

00:06:31.840 Yeah.

00:06:32.460 Anyways, keep going.

00:06:33.200 So, uh, what was I saying?

00:06:36.120 Pedro was a son, uh, a friend with, uh, Henzo or with a friend with Hickson.

00:06:42.440 Yeah.

00:06:42.600 With Hickson.

00:06:43.260 He was friends with Hickson when he was little.

00:06:44.840 He learned jujitsu from his father.

00:06:46.480 So you hear this term, you know, the Gracie's, you know, all started from Haleo Gracie, right?

00:06:51.680 Um, Pedro's pretty close to that lineage, right?

00:06:54.520 In that, in the grand scheme of things, he, he learned from Haleo himself.

00:06:58.700 It's, it's pretty amazing when like we rolled, you and I.

00:07:03.200 A little bit the last couple of days and you've destroyed me.

00:07:06.780 And I feel like, I feel like right now, like my biggest objective is to not get submitted.

00:07:15.160 Like just, just to see how long I can last.

00:07:18.320 Yeah.

00:07:19.420 Is that the right attitude?

00:07:20.820 I think it is.

00:07:21.700 I mean, how do you feel?

00:07:23.280 Like my question would be back on you.

00:07:25.960 How do you feel doing that?

00:07:27.080 I feel frustrated.

00:07:28.280 Yeah.

00:07:28.560 Quite honestly.

00:07:29.300 I feel like you're not, feel like you're being proactive and you're not going after it and you're just kind of, you have to sit back a little bit.

00:07:35.840 I've always been relatively athletic, not, not, not amazing, but not average.

00:07:42.900 I'd say a little better than average, right?

00:07:45.040 I'm athletic.

00:07:45.860 I've all, I've always played sports.

00:07:48.200 Um, I, I feel like I'm strong.

00:07:50.980 Uh, I, I feel like I pick things up quickly when it comes to coordination and the development of moves and different sports and things like that.

00:08:00.200 And it's a little frustrating because it's new to me.

00:08:03.360 You know, I wrestled for, uh, like a year, like a year and a half, two years in high school.

00:08:09.760 Uh, and, and I guess this has something to do with that, but it's, it's just frustrating.

00:08:13.640 You know, when you have a guy that's littler or, or a female even, and she's working you over, he's working you over. 0.96

00:08:20.560 And it's like, man, like I, I rolled with this guy, uh, the other day and he's a blue belt and he's, he's part of the order as well.

00:08:28.140 And he put me in a move that I couldn't even, I couldn't move.

00:08:32.880 Like I felt so helpless.

00:08:34.980 I felt helpless.

00:08:36.100 Like pinned down.

00:08:36.760 No, no, no.

00:08:37.180 Like he was rolling me to another side.

00:08:40.100 I can't even articulate what the role, what the move was, but he was rolling me to another side and he had like my leg and my arm was crimped under and I couldn't like plant and I couldn't like shift my weight.

00:08:50.720 Cause the way he had me and he just, like, I was a little rag doll, just like bunk and had me like, it was so frustrating.

00:08:59.480 It's, it's, it's amazing and it's good.

00:09:02.360 And it's been a long time since me as a grown man has had to exert any amount of physical effort.

00:09:11.260 I mean, really, you know, like I go to the gym and work out, but it's different when you're trying to survive.

00:09:16.640 For sure.

00:09:17.100 Yeah.

00:09:17.400 And, and so it's been a long time since I've had that.

00:09:19.960 So it's so good for me and it burns energy and it makes me feel good.

00:09:24.400 And at the same time, it's frustrating.

00:09:27.260 Yeah.

00:09:28.020 Yeah.

00:09:28.320 I can relate to that.

00:09:29.320 I, the first time I trained with, uh, Leo Dalla for the jujitsu guys listening, you'll know who Leo Dalla is.

00:09:36.180 He's the, um, professor for Lloyd Irving.

00:09:40.540 Anyhow, I was, I was living in DC doing some work for the department of defense and I stepped into their gym and we do some instruction and you know, it's open mat time.

00:09:51.600 And there's a small Asian lady. 1.00

00:09:54.060 She's like, you want to train?

00:09:55.400 And I'm thinking, oh yeah, you're really, yes, it's just super small.

00:09:59.380 I'm going to destroy you.

00:10:00.460 Yeah, totally.

00:10:01.160 Or were you like, no, I'm not even going to.

00:10:02.660 No, I was like, yeah, yeah, sure.

00:10:04.420 Let's train.

00:10:05.000 And we slapped hands.

00:10:07.020 You, I don't know what it is, but in jujitsu culture, there's a little bit of a slap and bump.

00:10:10.900 Yeah.

00:10:11.100 Slap, fist bump. 0.92

00:10:12.040 Yeah.

00:10:12.300 Slap and then bump. 0.91

00:10:14.080 And about two seconds after that bump, I'm like looking around.

00:10:18.160 I have no idea who she is.

00:10:19.240 And she's on my back and she's choking me. 0.99

00:10:22.520 Really?

00:10:23.000 Yeah.

00:10:23.320 Like instantly.

00:10:24.340 Like she just, how long ago was this?

00:10:26.340 Last week?

00:10:26.820 This was, no.

00:10:28.300 Yeah, might as well be.

00:10:30.300 No, this is a few years back when I was a white belt.

00:10:32.580 Okay.

00:10:33.300 And, and she was a blue belt, but I thought, dude, I'm like twice your size.

00:10:36.800 She's small.

00:10:37.300 She's a woman. 0.82

00:10:38.300 I'm going to destroy her.

00:10:38.960 I'll take it easy on her.

00:10:39.760 I didn't even have a chance to take it easy.

00:10:42.140 There was like the, the first contact we had was the bump and the, and then also to my

00:10:48.040 neck is getting choked.

00:10:48.980 Right.

00:10:49.420 Isn't that crazy?

00:10:50.140 And it just opens your, it blows your mind.

00:10:51.820 You think, Oh my gosh, this is, I love this art.

00:10:54.680 Like I love it.

00:10:55.760 And I hate it.

00:10:57.040 I love it.

00:10:57.660 But man, sometimes you're right.

00:11:01.300 Like what you're saying, you feel hopeless.

00:11:03.120 You feel completely vulnerable.

00:11:05.220 It's, I don't know if I feel hopeless though, because I, I do believe that I'll get better.

00:11:09.680 I have enough faith that I'm like.

00:11:10.700 Hopeless in the moment.

00:11:11.500 Sure.

00:11:11.780 Right.

00:11:12.020 Sure.

00:11:12.360 Moment.

00:11:12.720 Right.

00:11:12.920 There's nothing I can do last night.

00:11:14.960 You know, if you're, you're choking me out with my own gi.

00:11:17.500 Yeah.

00:11:18.620 And it's like, you're hopeless in the moment, but it's not a hopelessness of the, the sport

00:11:23.620 itself.

00:11:24.240 Yeah.

00:11:24.540 I agree.

00:11:25.300 I agree.

00:11:25.820 So what is, how do you feel like, well, how long have you been training now?

00:11:31.060 Three months.

00:11:31.720 Three months.

00:11:32.380 Yeah.

00:11:32.740 So, but do you, have you seen that progression since you've started?

00:11:36.500 100%.

00:11:36.860 Yeah.

00:11:37.540 Yeah, absolutely.

00:11:38.540 Because starting to get a little offense to you, a little offense.

00:11:41.200 I think there's a couple of, well, you taught me a more of a defensive strategy last night

00:11:46.200 that felt really good.

00:11:47.360 I'm like, Oh, this actually feels really good.

00:11:50.100 Cause there's all sorts of defenses and things like that.

00:11:52.500 What you showed me was pretty good at guard.

00:11:54.280 Yeah.

00:11:54.680 So that was good.

00:11:56.520 Um, I, I initially, when I started, I'm strong enough that I can get somebody who's has the

00:12:02.540 same level of experience.

00:12:03.980 And I understand weight enough because of the wrestling experience that I can, I can get

00:12:08.300 in a superior position.

00:12:10.500 But initially I was like, now what do I do?

00:12:14.340 Yeah.

00:12:14.900 Like, I don't, I don't even know a submission from here.

00:12:17.760 Right.

00:12:17.960 So let's say I'm in full mount, which is being basically on top of the dude's chest really

00:12:23.560 is what it is.

00:12:24.240 And I'm there and I'm like, Oh, okay.

00:12:28.480 So I, do I just sit here?

00:12:30.040 Do I punch him?

00:12:30.920 Yeah.

00:12:32.260 Or, or do I go for an arm or a leg or a head or a neck or a, like, what do I do?

00:12:37.720 And, and now, uh, now at least I have some go-to tools.

00:12:45.780 I feel like.

00:12:46.580 Yeah.

00:12:47.200 What maybe, you know, we talked on the AMA a few weeks ago and I said something about

00:12:53.400 the jujitsu gods, you know, they come, they come for you when you get some pride.

00:12:58.140 So maybe I'm asking for trouble here for you, but, um, what submissions have you gotten

00:13:04.600 like that you've been able to pull off in these three months?

00:13:07.880 Um, like try a couple of triangles.

00:13:10.720 You've got some triangles from your back, from my back.

00:13:12.900 Nice.

00:13:13.160 And that's been good because that was the default submission that I would get myself

00:13:18.180 into.

00:13:18.940 Yeah.

00:13:19.240 It's fun.

00:13:20.000 Then that's not by coincidence, by the way.

00:13:21.960 So I've, well, I learned.

00:13:23.340 Yeah.

00:13:23.620 Right.

00:13:23.820 I'm like, Oh, that's what this guy's doing.

00:13:26.040 Here's how I guard against it.

00:13:27.440 Here's how I do it to him.

00:13:29.100 Yeah.

00:13:29.500 So that's been good.

00:13:30.480 A couple of arm bars.

00:13:32.280 Uh, and then one of my go-tos is, and I can't, I don't know the term, I don't know

00:13:37.800 the names yet is, so I've got the guy on his back and I've got his arm up over and I slip

00:13:44.080 my arm under and I'm pulling that arm back.

00:13:46.760 Is that like an Americana?

00:13:48.120 Okay.

00:13:48.840 Americana from top and also from side position as well.

00:13:53.140 Okay.

00:13:53.720 Yeah.

00:13:54.000 Those are great.

00:13:54.580 What, and I love that you said that, uh, you caught the triangle first because that

00:14:00.120 always happened to you.

00:14:01.180 Oh, yeah.

00:14:02.260 All the time.

00:14:02.980 And that's not a coincidence, right?

00:14:04.180 That happens all the time.

00:14:05.820 That's the best way to learn.

00:14:06.680 Well, it just seems natural because you've basically, the, the, the triangle is, or if

00:14:12.920 you've got my arm and my neck in between your legs. 0.98

00:14:16.300 And so my natural response is like, I got to get out of this situation.

00:14:21.180 And so I, I push back and I pull one arm to give myself leverage.

00:14:25.480 And so I'm like pushing one arm and I popped that arm out of there, but the other arm's

00:14:28.740 still in there.

00:14:29.440 Yeah.

00:14:29.780 And with the gi, you've got control. 0.97

00:14:33.140 You've got, you're grabbing onto it.

00:14:34.700 And once that's in there and I can even feel it, I'm like, oh crap, I know what's coming.

00:14:39.100 Yeah.

00:14:39.320 So that happened to me quite a bit.

00:14:41.520 But by getting, having people submit you in the triangle, that's one of the ways that

00:14:45.740 you learn how to do the triangle.

00:14:47.500 Yeah.

00:14:47.880 Right.

00:14:48.080 Because then you start learning, okay, I want this.

00:14:50.420 How do I, how do I react when people try to get me in this triangle?

00:14:54.340 And then you, that it evolves your offense.

00:14:57.040 Right.

00:14:57.420 Right.

00:14:57.620 Because now you can understand what they're attempting to do when you want the triangle

00:15:00.880 on them.

00:15:01.420 Right.

00:15:01.480 Yeah.

00:15:01.660 That's exactly right.

00:15:02.600 It's really interesting.

00:15:03.360 It's really interesting.

00:15:04.100 Yeah.

00:15:04.460 So that's a good question.

00:15:05.620 So those, those are, those are the few handful of submissions that I've gone for and, yeah,

00:15:11.640 and completed it at varying degrees.

00:15:14.000 So some people struggle with the intimacy of jujitsu.

00:15:18.300 In fact, when you're just explaining how you get triangled, right?

00:15:21.960 The average person heard, the average person heard, and my head is between your legs.

00:15:26.940 Yeah.

00:15:27.040 And you're like, what the?

00:15:28.060 Yeah.

00:15:28.200 You're in another dude's crotch essentially. 0.54

00:15:30.040 So how were you able to get past that?

00:15:31.640 Was that an issue for you where you're like, man, this is kind of, this is kind of gross.

00:15:34.860 This is a little too intimate for me.

00:15:36.480 It was in high school.

00:15:37.900 It was weird when I very first started because you're rolling around with another dude and

00:15:42.920 you're basically, you're pretty much naked.

00:15:45.260 We're talking about wrestling.

00:15:45.720 Wrestling, wrestling.

00:15:46.520 Right.

00:15:46.980 And you're pretty much, you're naked, right?

00:15:48.980 Yeah.

00:15:49.560 Or scantily clad items that you're wearing.

00:15:53.260 You shameless hussy. 1.00

00:15:54.560 It is.

00:15:54.920 It's crazy.

00:15:55.620 These little singlets.

00:15:56.620 I'm like, we were talking about this the other night.

00:15:57.900 It's like ridiculous.

00:15:58.620 Why do we wear this stuff?

00:15:59.760 So that was really weird at first.

00:16:01.960 Yeah.

00:16:02.700 Actually, I got to interrupt you.

00:16:04.080 So when you shared this story the other day, I loved it.

00:16:07.440 Yeah.

00:16:07.800 And, and, and you, you mentioned, what did you mention?

00:16:13.120 I was talking about this.

00:16:14.720 But you're talking about the humility of the singlet, right?

00:16:17.580 Oh, for sure.

00:16:18.440 Share that, that, that aspect of it that you think the singlet is that way to, do you remember?

00:16:25.340 I don't know.

00:16:25.800 I don't remember what I'm talking about.

00:16:26.880 I don't want to steal the story for me.

00:16:27.840 But what I was saying is that you're, it's, it's, it's a cool sport, wrestling and jujitsu.

00:16:33.540 I'm learning because you're stepping onto the mat with one other individual.

00:16:38.660 Nobody else is coming with you and you're not wearing any clothes.

00:16:42.640 Yeah.

00:16:43.140 And it's just you and one other dude who wants to destroy you and rip your head off.

00:16:48.040 And you're naked, all but naked almost. 0.69

00:16:50.920 Yeah.

00:16:51.180 Very, very near naked, right?

00:16:52.940 Yeah.

00:16:53.360 And if you're not naked, you can still see everything, right?

00:16:57.080 And it's just you versus him.

00:16:59.740 Yeah.

00:17:00.140 And that's it.

00:17:01.020 Well, and what you said the other day was something to the extent of by wearing that singlet,

00:17:06.280 it forces you to come on that mat with like full humility.

00:17:09.900 Totally.

00:17:10.260 Like you've been broken down, embarrassed, shamed, placed on the mat by yourself for all

00:17:17.160 to see, right?

00:17:18.380 And then you have to prove yourself.

00:17:19.820 And not only that, but very compromising positions.

00:17:22.980 Yeah.

00:17:23.360 Right?

00:17:23.700 Like Saturday night ride, you know, and your butt's hanging out in the air and you've got

00:17:29.320 other guys' anatomy hanging down in your face.

00:17:32.600 And so, but to go back to your question of how, is that okay?

00:17:37.320 This is going to sound weird.

00:17:39.440 I like it.

00:17:40.980 I like it.

00:17:41.980 And I, and I, and what I mean by that is I like the raw aggression.

00:17:46.080 I was rolling this afternoon, this evening with, with Dave Burke.

00:17:49.360 He's with, with echelon front and just an incredible human being.

00:17:54.240 Incredible.

00:17:54.780 He's a Marine served in Ramadi with Jocko and Leif fighter pilot, F-16, F-18, F-22 top gun

00:18:01.540 instructor.

00:18:02.060 Just, just a stud.

00:18:03.960 Yeah.

00:18:05.240 Athletic, good shape, intelligent.

00:18:08.180 And nice.

00:18:08.800 Just nice guy.

00:18:09.580 Really kind.

00:18:10.440 Real pleasant.

00:18:10.960 Yeah.

00:18:11.760 And it was me and him and we were rolling and he, he's fairly new to Jiu Jitsu as well.

00:18:19.660 And we were just, it was just me and him.

00:18:21.820 And it's like, I'm going to be stronger than you.

00:18:23.740 And he's like, I'm going to be stronger than you.

00:18:25.180 And we're like, we'll see.

00:18:26.080 We'll find out.

00:18:26.920 And it shouldn't be about strength.

00:18:28.180 I realized that that's not the way to go.

00:18:29.520 So, but, um, at the same time I liked it, but it is about aggression for sure.

00:18:34.060 Yeah.

00:18:34.240 And I liked it.

00:18:34.900 I was like, all right, come on.

00:18:36.660 One on one.

00:18:37.620 Let's see.

00:18:38.320 Let's see what we got.

00:18:39.360 And I, you know, him and I were, I think, fairly evenly matched.

00:18:43.800 He, he was probably, he's a little bit more advanced than I am, but fairly evenly matched.

00:18:48.420 Uh, you and I are not fairly evenly matched.

00:18:50.840 I've got you easily.

00:18:52.580 I'm just kidding.

00:18:53.220 Totally.

00:18:53.820 You destroyed me.

00:18:55.300 No.

00:18:55.800 No, I don't know.

00:18:56.480 I'm tapping once that beard's in my face.

00:18:58.240 I'm like, no, I can't handle it.

00:18:59.620 Get it off my face.

00:19:00.740 Um, we're, we're, we, you are significantly better than I am.

00:19:04.740 And, but, but you know what?

00:19:06.200 It gives me something to shoot for too.

00:19:08.080 And I think a lot of guys will get that and they'll be so discouraged.

00:19:11.080 This goes back to what I was saying earlier is that I think there's a lot of men out there

00:19:15.140 who get discouraged and they're like, well, I guess this sport isn't for me.

00:19:19.500 I guess, I guess I'm just not the right body type.

00:19:22.760 Yeah.

00:19:23.160 And, and it's not just jujitsu.

00:19:25.380 It's life, right?

00:19:26.400 Like their boss gets mad.

00:19:27.720 Well, I guess this isn't, I'm not good at this.

00:19:30.440 Yeah.

00:19:30.560 It doesn't see me for my potential.

00:19:32.260 Right.

00:19:32.540 Or, or, or in their, or their marriage.

00:19:34.280 And it's like, you know, they get into a, a, a, a argument or something with their wife.

00:19:37.880 Well, I guess, I guess she doesn't love me.

00:19:40.540 It's like, really?

00:19:41.800 Like you're that mentally weak that you think that just because you don't happen to be good.

00:19:46.820 Well, I'll give you an example.

00:19:48.340 My son was really upset the first week of tackle football.

00:19:51.640 He's been playing football for five years.

00:19:53.160 This is the fifth year.

00:19:54.920 And, uh, he came home.

00:19:56.780 He's really upset about not being great at tackle.

00:19:59.780 I'm like, well, yeah, you're, you're not going to be good.

00:20:04.000 And he's like, well, what do you mean?

00:20:05.400 I said, how long you've been playing tackle football?

00:20:08.240 Uh, two days, two days.

00:20:11.280 Really?

00:20:12.040 Two days.

00:20:12.780 You think you're going to be good.

00:20:13.880 And of course I didn't talk to him about like that.

00:20:15.820 Yeah.

00:20:16.140 But we kind of laugh at that.

00:20:18.300 We're like, well, obviously, but all of us do the same thing.

00:20:21.440 We do the same thing.

00:20:22.040 We do the same thing.

00:20:22.840 For sure.

00:20:23.160 We go into the gym or we go into the work or we start a new hobby or we get on on the

00:20:28.100 mats and we're like, I want to try a jujitsu class.

00:20:30.340 And we suck really bad because we've never done it before.

00:20:32.640 And then we're like, well, I tried.

00:20:35.640 I did what I can do and it just didn't work.

00:20:39.260 So I guess I'll go do something else.

00:20:41.360 And we never give ourselves a chance to grow and develop and learn.

00:20:47.040 And there's no difference, frankly, between you and me.

00:20:50.100 You as a roughly 10 year black, uh, brown belt.

00:20:53.620 Me as a three month white belt.

00:20:55.980 There's no, there, the only difference between us is time and the right training.

00:21:02.300 And time down that path, the same path, by the way, just further down the path.

00:21:07.880 That's it.

00:21:08.340 That's all it is.

00:21:09.300 And so if I, I'm discounting my own abilities when I say, well, I guess this just isn't for

00:21:14.940 me.

00:21:15.700 It could be for you.

00:21:17.640 Now, if it's something you don't enjoy, okay, that's one thing.

00:21:21.000 But if you enjoy it and you feel like it's good for you and you're just upset because

00:21:24.540 you're not great at it, have hope because there's guys five, 10, 20, 40 years ahead

00:21:30.060 of you who aren't brighter than you, who aren't stronger than you, who aren't more naturally

00:21:36.900 gifted, who, who have the jujitsu gene.

00:21:40.220 If that, that's not a thing.

00:21:41.160 Like, it's just that they've been doing it longer.

00:21:44.000 Well, and, and I think we assume that those guys further down on that path aren't experiencing

00:21:49.220 the same frustration.

00:21:50.500 Like I mentioned this to you today, like, oh yeah, you know, you mentioned, I think it

00:21:54.700 was last night or this morning.

00:21:55.920 I'm a little frustrated or whatever.

00:21:57.340 It was this afternoon.

00:21:57.740 Yeah.

00:21:57.960 And I was like, I feel that same way.

00:22:00.220 I go to the gym and I roll with our black belts and I feel like a white belt and I'm like,

00:22:05.920 damn, this sucks.

00:22:06.960 Yeah.

00:22:08.140 No difference.

00:22:09.180 But isn't that too, you know, the other side I think of it too, is that that's a good thing

00:22:13.200 because I think as men, we, we often take more often than not, we take the path of least

00:22:18.860 resistance and, and there's a lot of guys out in the world.

00:22:22.660 And I know because I've had conversations with thousands and thousands of them now who

00:22:27.040 have said, I'm lost.

00:22:29.080 I don't have purpose.

00:22:30.160 I don't have direction.

00:22:31.580 And I'm willing to bet that the reason that's the case is because you're not doing anything

00:22:36.980 hard.

00:22:38.320 Yeah.

00:22:38.540 So as you go down the road of life and you're faced with two decisions, one's the easy to

00:22:43.260 choice and the other's the rougher choice.

00:22:45.220 You take the path of least resistance and you think that somehow you're going to find

00:22:50.420 quote unquote happiness down that road.

00:22:52.800 And this might be semantics a little bit, but I think it illustrates the point.

00:22:57.160 Life is not about happiness.

00:23:00.140 Life is about finding purpose and meaning.

00:23:03.020 And you can't find purpose and meaning and living complacent, meaning that you take the

00:23:08.600 default, the status quo, the easy path.

00:23:10.180 You cannot find purpose and meaning.

00:23:11.820 You find purpose and meaning and taking the harder path and overcoming things that you

00:23:17.640 didn't previously think you could do.

00:23:20.340 And that to me is why this little short journey that I've been taking so far, three months has

00:23:26.080 been so powerful.

00:23:27.400 It's hard.

00:23:28.500 I'm tired.

00:23:29.620 I get frustrated.

00:23:31.000 My arm hurts like it does tonight.

00:23:33.340 And yet there's meaning in it.

00:23:35.480 So I'm going to wake up tomorrow morning and my arm's still going to hurt maybe a little

00:23:39.140 bit and I'm going to go back in and I'm going to do more hard things because I find

00:23:43.800 satisfaction, fulfillment, meaning, and purpose in it.

00:23:46.960 And for you guys that don't understand this, Joe Rogan explained this really great in some

00:23:51.340 YouTube video once.

00:23:52.400 And so I'll attempt to do the same, but we are playing a game.

00:23:57.360 We have some base rules.

00:23:58.960 And in this game, we say, you try to kill me.

00:24:02.300 I try to kill you.

00:24:04.120 When you think that I got you, you tap, I'll let go.

00:24:07.500 Right.

00:24:07.860 That, that is the game.

00:24:09.340 Now, some of you might go, oh, well, it's just an arm bar or just a submission.

00:24:12.520 Yeah.

00:24:12.620 But what's next, right?

00:24:13.560 If this was, if this was real world, right?

00:24:16.900 And you get my back and you're choke me unconscious, I'm dead.

00:24:20.780 And so, and you're, and I think our bodies know that, right?

00:24:25.200 When we're training and you're being submitted, it's not like, oh man, he's almost going to

00:24:29.480 get me.

00:24:29.880 No, it feels like he is going to kill me.

00:24:33.180 Like we, you are fighting for your life.

00:24:36.420 Especially when you've got a lapel or a collar wrapped around your neck multiple times.

00:24:40.960 Yeah.

00:24:41.760 Yeah.

00:24:42.240 You feel it.

00:24:43.100 You can't, you can't breathe.

00:24:44.180 You can't move.

00:24:44.900 I mean, it's stressful.

00:24:45.800 And, and, and sometimes at least for me, that's doesn't change.

00:24:49.640 Sometimes I go to the mat and I, I'll go to our school at Unified and I'll look at the

00:24:55.060 mats and I'll go, shit, I don't want to go out there.

00:24:57.820 It's the battlefield, man.

00:24:58.800 I don't want to go out there today.

00:25:00.360 The good thing is I never regret it.

00:25:02.500 Right.

00:25:02.940 But I, it's still a struggle sometimes to get up on the mat because it's uncomfortable.

00:25:06.400 Yeah.

00:25:06.520 It's not fun sometimes.

00:25:08.180 You know, it's a, it's a battle out there.

00:25:09.980 You know, I loved Dean Lister today.

00:25:11.780 So Dean Lister is, Jocko has his black belt through Dean Lister and Dean Lister instructed

00:25:19.140 today and one of the guys in the circle is kind of like a Q and a session and, and it

00:25:24.060 was a smaller guy and he said, Hey, well, I'm a smaller guy.

00:25:27.360 And so when I try this standing head and arm triangle, you know, I'm not tall enough or

00:25:31.700 whatever.

00:25:32.000 And, you know, and, and Dean's response to that is that's not good and it's not bad.

00:25:41.100 It is what it is.

00:25:42.220 And there's no such thing as like, Oh, you don't have the right body type, right?

00:25:48.100 If you're, if you have long legs, you have an advantage and you might have some disadvantages.

00:25:53.040 Are you short?

00:25:54.580 Awesome.

00:25:55.200 You might have some advantages and you might have some disadvantages and, and I, man,

00:25:59.560 jujitsu and life, man.

00:26:01.200 And I think it's the same.

00:26:02.460 I think it's the same way.

00:26:03.440 I think it's back to what you're saying earlier.

00:26:05.520 It's so easy for us to look at our lives and go, Oh, you know what, that wasn't handed

00:26:10.740 to me or my parents didn't set me up for success as, as young, or I didn't go to call

00:26:17.000 whatever the scenarios are.

00:26:18.840 We look at our past and we think, Oh, disadvantage instead of saying, Oh no, I have an advantage.

00:26:24.320 There's some advantages to your situation, right?

00:26:26.820 There's some aspects of how you were raised that are a huge advantage, but it's up to us

00:26:31.660 to say, okay, I'm going to change my game or I'm going to change my life or who I am

00:26:36.080 being to take advantage of those things that have been given to me and avoid and know my

00:26:42.580 weaknesses, right?

00:26:43.440 And adjust how I live life to avoid those weaknesses.

00:26:46.140 That's why I, that's why I've really been enjoying jujitsu is because it's an analogy

00:26:51.840 for life.

00:26:52.960 It really is.

00:26:53.640 I mean, everything about it when it comes to, Hey, I don't want to step on the mat today.

00:26:58.860 Okay.

00:26:59.460 Sometimes you don't want to go into work.

00:27:00.820 Sometimes you don't want to have a difficult conversation with your wife.

00:27:04.660 Sometimes you don't want to talk to that client and you go do it anyways.

00:27:08.180 And sometimes you're sore, right?

00:27:10.500 Sometimes in real life, your mind's not right.

00:27:13.100 Sometimes you're tired.

00:27:14.340 Sometimes you're exhausted and yet you do it anyways.

00:27:17.420 And sometimes you don't want to be naked standing on the mat.

00:27:19.940 Do it anyway.

00:27:20.960 Sometimes you do want to be naked.

00:27:22.580 There are certain situations.

00:27:25.340 That's why, that's why I like it.

00:27:27.180 That's why I enjoy it.

00:27:28.220 That's why I came out here and it has exceeded my expectations.

00:27:33.080 And you know what was interesting too?

00:27:35.060 As I started thinking about rank advancements and there's all, all different levels here

00:27:41.360 from, from the guys that have never even rolled before.

00:27:44.740 There's guys who's here for their first day and multiple guys raised their hand.

00:27:49.760 It was crazy.

00:27:50.200 So we've got that.

00:27:51.180 And then we've got guys who have literally been practicing the art for 30 years, 40 years.

00:27:58.860 Yeah.

00:27:59.640 Old timers.

00:28:00.420 And I started thinking about it right now.

00:28:02.440 I work out specifically with jujitsu once a week.

00:28:07.760 We do here at the camp, we do three sessions a day.

00:28:11.780 And by the time this is all said and done, it'll be, it'll be, uh, six, six days.

00:28:16.840 So 18 sessions.

00:28:18.480 Yep.

00:28:19.820 So some of these guys are training in between.

00:28:22.080 That's true.

00:28:22.940 Yeah.

00:28:23.260 So essentially what I'm getting here in a week is four months of my default training schedule.

00:28:31.140 Yeah.

00:28:31.680 Four months.

00:28:32.800 So for me, I'm thinking, well, this, this white belt to a stripe to multiple stripes to

00:28:39.160 blue belt and so on is not a matter of time.

00:28:42.520 It's a matter of experience.

00:28:44.140 And we can collapse the time by getting more experience in the same timeframe.

00:28:51.180 Agreed.

00:28:51.940 That's, that's actually seeing that now is really interesting.

00:28:55.720 And it makes me want to ramp up my schedule at home.

00:28:58.980 Yeah.

00:28:59.740 It's, it, and it's funny.

00:29:01.040 We were talking about this over lunch about, um, I may, I think I made a comment to someone

00:29:06.220 about, you know, Oh, why aren't more guys coming from our schools?

00:29:09.640 We were sitting at the table with some other guys.

00:29:11.480 Oh yeah.

00:29:11.720 No one came from my school.

00:29:12.900 They don't have the money.

00:29:14.140 Right.

00:29:14.860 And we, we got on the conversation of balance.

00:29:17.760 Yeah.

00:29:19.260 And, and just like anything else in life, jujitsu can be, it can overrun us.

00:29:25.140 Right.

00:29:25.540 Where we make it too high of a priority.

00:29:29.080 Look, every takes family.

00:29:30.600 I mean, I know guys who are gym rats and you look at them, you're like, dude, you're ripped.

00:29:35.000 You've got a great physique.

00:29:36.120 You're really strong.

00:29:37.040 You can run really fast.

00:29:38.180 You can lift really hard.

00:29:39.360 How's your family?

00:29:40.640 Yeah.

00:29:40.840 Oh, I've been through multiple divorces and I don't see my kids and I'm broke.

00:29:46.360 It's like, I can appreciate that.

00:29:48.300 You look like a bad day, but you're missing the boat here, brother.

00:29:51.900 I'm not saying you have to neglect those things.

00:29:53.760 You shouldn't, but yeah, there, there's a time and a place where anything that you do.

00:29:59.800 And I just interviewed Jocko already.

00:30:01.680 It's the dichotomy.

00:30:03.000 Yeah, that's true.

00:30:04.180 Right.

00:30:04.500 It's like, you can take anything, even something that everyone would, that no one would argue

00:30:10.340 is healthy, like, like eating right or going to the gym and you can make it unhealthy for

00:30:16.480 you.

00:30:16.920 Yeah.

00:30:17.680 Yeah.

00:30:18.220 For sure.

00:30:19.260 So what does that look like for you?

00:30:20.720 What are you thinking now that you're here and you're like, man, I think I'd like to,

00:30:23.760 I think I'd like to bump it to two times a week.

00:30:26.720 Yeah.

00:30:27.120 But people have asked me, why don't I do that now?

00:30:29.960 And these are not excuses.

00:30:32.760 They're reasons.

00:30:34.500 Excuses would be like excusing away my behavior.

00:30:37.340 These are very deliberate and intentional choices.

00:30:40.100 And the deliberate intentional choices are three nights a week of coaching for my kids.

00:30:46.120 And then one jujitsu night and one night with some boys in the community through, through

00:30:51.700 scouts.

00:30:53.160 Those aren't excuses.

00:30:54.540 Those are priorities, reasons, priorities, deliberate.

00:30:57.420 Decisions that I've made.

00:30:58.820 And if I go do jujitsu more, then I have to cut something else out.

00:31:03.940 Yeah.

00:31:04.280 Or you just need to find a guy in your town.

00:31:06.560 That's true.

00:31:07.220 Put some mats in your gym shop or something.

00:31:09.960 Yeah.

00:31:10.180 Get someone to do some drills with you during the week.

00:31:11.800 I could do that.

00:31:12.880 Yeah, I could do that.

00:31:13.900 Do some recruiting.

00:31:14.420 You want to come down once a week?

00:31:15.640 Sure.

00:31:16.740 Four hours.

00:31:17.580 Three.

00:31:18.200 That's about three hours.

00:31:19.360 Three hours.

00:31:19.940 I'm sure that fits perfectly in line with my priorities.

00:31:23.280 I don't care about yours.

00:31:24.100 I just care about mine.

00:31:24.860 No, that actually brings up a really good point.

00:31:28.580 You got to protect your priorities.

00:31:31.000 Totally.

00:31:31.480 Because if you don't stick to your boundaries, people will use and abuse them.

00:31:36.180 And they're not even doing it as a mean to get you.

00:31:40.860 They're not even aware of it.

00:31:42.680 Yeah.

00:31:42.840 So, people will overstep the boundaries if you don't create them and establish them.

00:31:49.760 And it's the same thing.

00:31:51.160 A lot of guys will say, well, I'd really like to do jujitsu.

00:31:55.520 I'd really like to try it.

00:31:57.160 But, you know, I got to be home with my kids and I got to be home with my wife and I've got

00:32:01.040 extra work and I've got this and I've got that.

00:32:03.120 And all of that stuff might be true.

00:32:05.200 And all of that stuff might be valid.

00:32:06.880 But if you don't learn to take care of yourself, man, I had one guy in the Facebook group,

00:32:12.140 he said, how do you get your wife off your back for doing something? 1.00

00:32:17.120 And I said...

00:32:17.620 Loaded question.

00:32:18.020 You're like, dude, my wife listens to this podcast.

00:32:20.260 Yeah.

00:32:20.920 No, I told him, I said, you don't let her get on your back at all. 0.88

00:32:25.940 Yeah.

00:32:26.140 You don't let her get on there.

00:32:27.340 How do you do that?

00:32:28.260 By clearly communicating the expectations and boundaries, having a little bit of empathy

00:32:34.000 and compassion towards the things that she needs from you as well.

00:32:37.080 Yeah.

00:32:37.240 Make sure you're doing your job.

00:32:38.520 Sure.

00:32:38.840 And that's the other component is make sure you're being the man when you're supposed to

00:32:43.660 be the man at home for her and the kids and other things that you have going on.

00:32:47.640 So that when you say, hey, hon, I'm going to be gone for a couple hours because I'm going

00:32:51.660 to go do jujitsu, all the other stuff's taken care of.

00:32:55.020 And she's like, cool, go ahead.

00:32:57.760 And also let her go do her thing. 0.98

00:33:00.600 I used, you know what I used to do?

00:33:02.520 I used to ask, like, want to go do stuff for me, right?

00:33:07.420 Go out with the boys, hang out, go whatever.

00:33:10.380 And then when she would come to me and say, hey, I'm going to go out with my girlfriends

00:33:13.100 for dinner.

00:33:14.320 I'd say, oh, do we have like, I have to watch the kids and how long are you going to be?

00:33:20.020 And when are you going to be back?

00:33:21.360 Make a rug.

00:33:21.900 And I would just bitch and moan to her about it. 1.00

00:33:24.320 And she would never bring it up.

00:33:26.420 She wouldn't bring it up.

00:33:28.180 But you know what I was doing?

00:33:29.360 I was saying, it's okay for me, but it's not okay for you.

00:33:31.940 So how do you get your wife off your back and allow you to go do jujitsu or whatever it 0.98

00:33:35.300 is you're going to do?

00:33:36.060 Get your shit handled, your other stuff handled. 0.91

00:33:39.340 Don't let her get on your back. 0.59

00:33:41.060 Communicate expectations.

00:33:42.640 Come to some understandings together.

00:33:44.580 Don't let anybody overstep your boundaries, including her.

00:33:47.760 And let her have the same thing you're asking for. 0.94

00:33:50.020 And don't get on her back when she wants to go to something.

00:33:53.920 Yes.

00:33:54.480 Yeah.

00:33:55.920 Yeah.

00:33:56.380 So important.

00:33:57.360 And I, man, I used to fall prey to that all the time.

00:34:00.120 And then I wonder why she was like, why is she nagging me?

00:34:02.920 Why is she getting after me over this? 1.00

00:34:04.260 Because I'm doing the same thing to her that she's doing to me.

00:34:07.180 My wife would complain to the same thing. 1.00

00:34:08.920 She'd say, oh, it's great.

00:34:10.820 Kip says it's great if I go and have my weekend or whatever.

00:34:13.920 But I know he's pissed and angry before I leave.

00:34:17.960 He's meaning to the kids by the time I come back.

00:34:20.480 Like, there's a price.

00:34:21.860 And by doing that, her break is miserable.

00:34:25.160 Right.

00:34:25.500 Because the whole time she knows that I'm demonizing everything else.

00:34:29.580 Yeah.

00:34:30.200 Yeah.

00:34:30.840 Not good.

00:34:31.600 Let's go back on the track of jujitsu.

00:34:36.020 I think there's a lot of guys who would like to try it.

00:34:38.200 And, and, and I know we'll get questions about like, what, well, how do I get going?

00:34:44.600 Yeah.

00:34:45.320 You, you just, you go do it.

00:34:47.380 You find a gym near you.

00:34:50.000 Maybe I'll let you answer this question, but here's my, here's my opinion is you find a

00:34:54.220 couple of gyms near you and you go test.

00:34:56.420 Maybe you ask your friends, maybe, maybe there's somebody who's already doing jujitsu.

00:34:59.420 Hey, can I come with you tonight?

00:35:00.720 That guy will take you. 0.89

00:35:01.700 I promise that guy will take you.

00:35:02.980 Yeah.

00:35:03.120 Come with me.

00:35:03.740 Cause he wants to show, he wants to show you this sport and he wants to show off to you.

00:35:07.640 Yeah.

00:35:07.720 And he's excited about it.

00:35:08.940 Yeah.

00:35:09.380 Yeah.

00:35:09.600 If somebody asked me and they said, Hey Ryan, can I go to class with you tonight?

00:35:12.400 Like, yeah, I would love you to.

00:35:14.220 And I would love to choke you out. 1.00

00:35:15.700 So I can beat you up.

00:35:17.080 That's right.

00:35:18.960 The best thing about being on the escalator is when the new guy hops on right behind you.

00:35:22.340 Explain the escalator.

00:35:23.840 Well, we were talking about this earlier that because we're all progressing and learning

00:35:28.560 and it's funny, it's funny that the default opinion or thought on our part is that,

00:35:36.460 Oh, I'm going to join a gym.

00:35:37.980 I'm going to train really hard.

00:35:39.640 And all those guys that are better than me and train as much as me, I'm going to catch

00:35:44.540 them.

00:35:45.500 I'm going to catch up to them.

00:35:47.980 I mean, you might.

00:35:49.260 Well, let me, okay.

00:35:50.400 Let me give you the other perspective because I, I think that, yeah, because I think I believe

00:35:55.860 in the law of diminishing returns.

00:35:57.580 Yeah.

00:35:57.980 So you, for example, as a 10 year Brown belt are not going to progress as fast as I am as

00:36:06.380 a three month white belt.

00:36:07.960 So it's not, I don't even think maybe I'm wrong.

00:36:10.280 Correct me if I'm wrong.

00:36:11.320 I don't look at it as we're on the same escalator or moving sidewalk or whatever.

00:36:14.820 I look at it as we're on two different ones and mine's a little faster than yours.

00:36:18.820 And it might slow down at the top.

00:36:20.900 Yeah.

00:36:21.480 How's this based on personality types?

00:36:25.160 There's different escalators.

00:36:26.800 Sure.

00:36:27.000 Well, let's explain that.

00:36:27.920 All things being equal.

00:36:29.380 Yeah.

00:36:29.780 Right.

00:36:30.420 Yeah.

00:36:30.700 All things being equal.

00:36:32.140 The, the, the, the concept of this escalator is if, if I, if let's say jujitsu is the escalator

00:36:38.300 and a guy that's been trained, he's further up the escalator than I am.

00:36:43.580 And I hop on that escalator as we both walk down this path of jujitsu to learn, he's always

00:36:50.160 in front of me.

00:36:51.020 Yeah.

00:36:51.620 Right.

00:36:51.900 And it's really hard for me to catch up with him.

00:36:54.460 Yeah.

00:36:54.660 Now you're going to get guys that are going to go to a gym that are maybe a little bit

00:36:58.820 more athletic.

00:36:59.460 Sometimes that's a drawback by the way.

00:37:01.260 Right.

00:37:01.580 But a little bit more athletic, getting after it a little bit more training more.

00:37:05.680 Those guys will progress.

00:37:07.120 Yeah.

00:37:07.300 Right.

00:37:07.460 They're going to be a little bit faster, but sometimes we've got to just let go of the

00:37:11.540 pride and say, Hey, that guy's further up on that escalator.

00:37:14.880 He is better than me.

00:37:15.860 He's training as much as I'm training.

00:37:18.240 And, uh, guess what?

00:37:19.480 You may never catch him, but that's, but that, and that's true.

00:37:23.020 And that's okay.

00:37:23.480 And that's a good thing kind of.

00:37:25.360 And what I mean by that is that, well, I look at, so I get to, I get to train with you a

00:37:29.540 little bit.

00:37:30.080 I get to train Matthew Arrington.

00:37:32.380 He's out of our gym.

00:37:33.400 He's a, he's a Brown belt, really high level Brown belt.

00:37:35.720 Right.

00:37:35.960 And I get to train with you guys and I may never catch up with you, but you're helping

00:37:42.960 me, right?

00:37:44.280 You, you getting out further ahead is, is lifting me up because you're turning around

00:37:48.900 and you're saying, come on, dude.

00:37:50.460 And me getting better is helping you guys because you're like, Oh, like last night I was actually

00:37:56.620 pretty proud of myself.

00:37:57.440 Cause you showed me some defensive stuff and, uh, you showed me the, like a, like a scissor

00:38:01.780 sweep essentially.

00:38:03.400 And I'd never caught Matthew off guard.

00:38:06.620 Never.

00:38:07.320 And last night I caught him off guard.

00:38:08.960 I wasn't able to roll him over, but he's like, Whoa.

00:38:11.560 And he kind of laughed cause he was unstable and he knew he's like, Oh, cause I almost had

00:38:17.460 him and I was really excited about it.

00:38:18.860 I didn't have him, but I almost had him.

00:38:21.000 Yeah.

00:38:21.440 And I was really excited about that, but now he's better because of that.

00:38:25.240 Well, and it's like when you get promoted, what will naturally happen guaranteed.

00:38:29.100 So at one point you're going to get your blue belt, you're going to get that belt tied.

00:38:33.700 And then there's this, this target on your back and all the white belts, all the white 1.00

00:38:39.340 belts, look at Ryan Mickler and go, I'm going to get him.

00:38:41.800 I'm going to get that blue belt.

00:38:43.020 Exactly.

00:38:43.560 And, and because of that, you're like, I'm going to train harder.

00:38:47.200 There's no way a white belt's tapping me. 1.00

00:38:49.420 Right.

00:38:49.740 And so, man, and when we talk about this all the time in jujitsu, that your partners are

00:38:54.300 critical.

00:38:54.920 This is not a one man sport.

00:38:56.120 Someone said that in the camp this week, you have to have partners.

00:38:59.280 Right.

00:38:59.700 And, and it's not just, Oh, you need another human body to do the moves on.

00:39:03.280 Oh no, no.

00:39:04.080 You need someone attacking you, coming for you, forces you to defend.

00:39:09.500 You know, you, you need people to push you on that edge.

00:39:11.740 Right.

00:39:12.220 I have this, uh, get defensive.

00:39:13.660 I have this interesting philosophy and, uh, I should, I should like coin this philosophy

00:39:19.580 or something.

00:39:20.100 Somebody already probably believes this, but wait, by the way, everything said in this

00:39:25.120 podcast is copyrighted.

00:39:26.940 Okay, go ahead.

00:39:27.560 That's right.

00:39:29.020 My philosophy is that competitive sports is not actually a competition among other

00:39:35.520 individuals.

00:39:36.180 It's not even a competition at all.

00:39:37.940 In fact, it's cooperation because think about this.

00:39:41.720 There is a set of parameters.

00:39:43.440 Let's say you and I are going to, are going to compete.

00:39:45.280 We're in a tournament.

00:39:46.000 We're going head to head and we're trying to win.

00:39:47.900 And the reason it's not competition is because we both voluntarily, voluntarily agree to operate

00:39:57.560 in a certain set of parameters.

00:40:00.140 And that certain set of parameters is again, volunteered by each of us.

00:40:04.100 Like, yes, I will adhere to that.

00:40:05.760 And if not, I disqualify myself.

00:40:07.900 I say, yes, I will.

00:40:09.560 Or there's penalties or there's all kinds of different repercussions for stepping outside

00:40:14.280 of the bounds and through the, the cooperation, we both get better competitive sports.

00:40:20.640 Yes, it is a competition, but more than that, it's a cooperation between men that says, I'll

00:40:26.000 help you if you help me.

00:40:27.820 And in order to help each other, let's work under these parameters, these rules, and we'll

00:40:33.880 see who the better that man is today.

00:40:36.140 Yeah.

00:40:36.240 And for me to push forward, that requires you to participate.

00:40:39.420 I can't, I can't push forward and challenge myself and progress if you're not willing

00:40:45.960 to go against me.

00:40:47.440 Right.

00:40:47.900 Otherwise I have no one.

00:40:48.980 Right.

00:40:49.360 And this is why it's so important to have other men in your life because these guys are going

00:40:56.180 to be the ones who push you.

00:40:57.620 And this, and I talk about this, men are competitive.

00:41:01.460 We got down, I don't think I told you this.

00:41:03.300 We got here session A, so it was the first half of the week and we went down to the docks.

00:41:07.660 We had some time off.

00:41:08.520 We went down to the docks.

00:41:09.080 Did I tell you this?

00:41:09.740 Yeah, this is great.

00:41:10.760 And so it was me and Parker Strunk, Matthew Arrington.

00:41:14.380 There was three of us.

00:41:15.300 We were down at the docks and Matthew's like, I have an idea.

00:41:19.160 Let's jump off the dock.

00:41:20.600 Just one jump.

00:41:22.080 Can't swim, kick, or flail your arms or whatever.

00:41:25.320 And just see on a one jump who can get the furthest.

00:41:29.080 Underwater.

00:41:29.460 Underwater.

00:41:29.980 Just a dive, skim dive.

00:41:31.580 And then wherever you pop up, that's your place.

00:41:34.100 So Matthew goes, Parker goes, I go.

00:41:36.700 So did the beard create a lot of drag?

00:41:39.880 The ear, the beard, the ear, the beard parts the water before I get there.

00:41:44.440 So it's like.

00:41:45.360 You went to go jump and you hit dirt because there's no water.

00:41:48.320 It's just less friction.

00:41:49.580 It's the water's like parts and gives me air.

00:41:51.940 So there's less friction.

00:41:52.840 That's not true because Matthew won.

00:41:56.120 So we go and then we get out and Dominic's like, hey, what are you guys doing?

00:42:00.540 And he's like, well, I'll go.

00:42:01.840 And he goes.

00:42:03.420 And then Andy, he walks over.

00:42:07.120 What are you guys doing?

00:42:08.100 I'll go.

00:42:09.480 And so we're all jumping off the dock.

00:42:12.400 And we're at a summer camp, which happens to be for kids.

00:42:15.000 And these, you know, 35 to 45 year old men are jumping off the dock seat.

00:42:20.360 And I told my wife, what were you doing?

00:42:22.440 And I said, oh, we went down the lake and we were just playing a game.

00:42:26.040 You know, she's asked what it is.

00:42:27.040 And I told her what she's like, you guys are like 10.

00:42:30.580 And I was, you know, it seemed like a little immature.

00:42:33.060 But at the same time, that that level of competition isn't a bad thing.

00:42:37.460 And I think a lot of society shuns it like, oh, not everything's a competition.

00:42:41.640 Not everything's that, that helps men. 1.00

00:42:44.800 Yeah.

00:42:45.360 That helps us get better.

00:42:46.440 Now, is that applicable to real life?

00:42:48.540 I don't know.

00:42:49.060 Probably not.

00:42:49.680 But that's how we bond as well.

00:42:51.000 That's how we get to know guys.

00:42:52.440 For sure.

00:42:52.940 And that's why it's really cool within the sport of jujitsu when you're talking about lineage

00:42:58.200 and you're talking about being in your school and you're talking about being at your gym

00:43:02.640 and your gym, you're naturally going to say, well, our gym is better than your gym.

00:43:06.980 Well, it is, but.

00:43:08.220 Well, that's subject to interpretation.

00:43:12.280 But that, that's good.

00:43:13.980 That's good.

00:43:14.760 My, my, my boy, again, my, my oldest getting, getting started with football and he comes

00:43:19.960 home.

00:43:20.180 He's like, dad, he's like, I like football.

00:43:23.040 I said, that's cool.

00:43:23.700 What do you like about it?

00:43:24.400 And he says, I like the game.

00:43:26.720 I like the game a lot, but they're kind of like my brothers.

00:43:31.080 Like the guys on the team are kind of like my brothers.

00:43:33.360 I love that.

00:43:33.720 That's exactly right.

00:43:34.420 It's a brotherhood.

00:43:35.500 Those guys are going to look after you. 1.00

00:43:37.080 Those guys are going to care for you.

00:43:38.340 Those guys are going to probably get in your face and yell at you a little bit now and

00:43:41.720 then and say, get your block.

00:43:43.020 You know, you messed up and all that stuff is good for men and we don't get enough of

00:43:48.580 it.

00:43:49.320 And, and the opportunity for it, I think is everywhere.

00:43:51.900 I really do.

00:43:53.260 Like in the Iron Council, yeah.

00:43:54.640 In the Iron Council, this past month has been about discovering your purpose, right?

00:43:59.060 Or creating your purpose.

00:44:01.040 And one thing that was really present for me this month was that could be my team at work.

00:44:07.700 Yeah.

00:44:08.540 Right.

00:44:08.920 That could be my family.

00:44:10.480 That could be my community though.

00:44:12.140 That could be my neighbors.

00:44:13.240 Like the people that I choose to make brother, right?

00:44:17.040 The people I choose to uplift, that opportunity is everywhere.

00:44:20.960 It really is.

00:44:22.780 If you look for it, because I think we go back to the default.

00:44:26.000 The default is, look, it's, it's, you got to put yourself out there.

00:44:30.180 Got to be uncomfortable.

00:44:31.120 Right.

00:44:31.420 And when you're trying to find a band of brothers or people to hang out with, people

00:44:35.460 to spend time with, it's going to be uncomfortable.

00:44:38.900 You're going to feel awkward.

00:44:40.040 You're going to hang out with some dudes who are, who are, you don't get along with, you

00:44:44.760 know, you don't enjoy their company or, or you don't feel like they have your back

00:44:48.000 and you got to go through a bunch and, um, it's, it's just the nature of it, but it's

00:44:53.140 so critical that we find people.

00:44:54.640 And I think to, to kind of tie this back in and I can't, we've, we've almost been going

00:44:58.580 for 45 minutes now, believe it or not.

00:44:59.960 How long are these supposed to be?

00:45:01.560 Well, Friday field notes are about 30 minutes.

00:45:03.960 It's okay.

00:45:04.480 This is good.

00:45:05.200 This is good stuff.

00:45:05.820 You, you just got to find it.

00:45:08.720 And I think jujitsu is an avenue that I had yet not explored and just stepping into this

00:45:15.760 over the past three months has been really cool, really cool.

00:45:21.500 I would encourage any man out there who's looking for, looking for a hobby, looking for

00:45:27.100 an activity.

00:45:28.140 Look, a lot of guys are like, where do I go?

00:45:29.760 Where, where, where can I go find other guys?

00:45:31.880 I'm like, they're at the gym.

00:45:32.900 Um, yeah, go sign up for a class.

00:45:36.400 Someone on the Facebook group posted, I believe it was last week about it.

00:45:40.720 You know, the fees for a gym, my budget's super tight.

00:45:44.240 I don't have the money, right.

00:45:45.640 To be paying 120 bucks a month for jujitsu.

00:45:48.620 Yeah.

00:45:49.820 Grab YouTube.

00:45:51.000 Sure.

00:45:51.480 Look up some jujitsu moves.

00:45:52.960 Yeah.

00:45:53.440 Convince a local buddy in your neighborhood.

00:45:55.380 Dude, come do it. 1.00

00:45:56.060 Let's do it.

00:45:56.340 We got to try this stuff out.

00:45:57.260 Let's do it together.

00:45:57.900 Right.

00:45:58.100 We'll just do it on carpet at first.

00:45:59.580 Yeah.

00:46:00.260 Puzzle mats from Walmart or savers.

00:46:02.160 Yeah.

00:46:02.480 Lay down towels if you have to, whatever you have to do, but you could totally learn

00:46:07.320 tons of stuff that way.

00:46:08.440 Or I'll give another perspective, go to the gym and say, Hey, I really want to do this.

00:46:13.360 Can I come clean mats once or twice a week?

00:46:16.400 And you just train me afterwards.

00:46:18.280 Totally.

00:46:18.780 Or a punch pass.

00:46:19.600 A lot of schools do punch pass by 10 classes.

00:46:21.900 Yep.

00:46:22.280 Use one a month.

00:46:23.860 Yeah.

00:46:24.260 I mean, at least get in there.

00:46:25.220 If you're creative, if you want to do it, you will do it.

00:46:29.160 There's a way.

00:46:29.420 If you don't want to do it, you'll say, I don't have any money.

00:46:31.880 I don't have any time.

00:46:32.980 I'm tired.

00:46:33.740 I got this.

00:46:34.400 I got that.

00:46:35.840 And okay.

00:46:36.580 That's cool.

00:46:37.300 Yeah.

00:46:37.680 You just, you're not going to get what you want.

00:46:39.180 We talk about this in the IC a little bit too, but back into it a little bit.

00:46:43.760 What do you mean?

00:46:44.580 Well, I want to do jujitsu.

00:46:46.540 It's 120, let's say, per month to accomplish that.

00:46:50.020 What do I need to do to make it okay for me to spend 120?

00:46:56.180 Yeah.

00:46:56.660 Oh, okay.

00:46:57.340 I need to bring, increase my income or do I need to reduce my debts or my expenses?

00:47:02.820 Whatever that is, at least figure it out.

00:47:04.960 And then, okay, what do I need to do?

00:47:06.240 And then go even further than that.

00:47:07.500 So let's say, well, I need to increase my income.

00:47:09.180 What can you do right now?

00:47:10.400 Go tomorrow and ask your boss for a raise.

00:47:12.320 Yep.

00:47:12.720 Hey boss, I've been here for six months.

00:47:14.160 I've been doing the X, Y, and Z.

00:47:15.860 I really want to stay here.

00:47:16.880 I really want to continue.

00:47:17.760 I like working here.

00:47:18.780 I like being here.

00:47:19.620 I want to continue to add value.

00:47:21.860 Would you be willing to offer me a race?

00:47:25.760 And he's going to say one of two things.

00:47:28.620 Yes, which is what you want.

00:47:30.560 Yeah.

00:47:31.080 Or no.

00:47:33.100 And if he says no, say, what can I do to earn a raise?

00:47:36.200 Then you have a game plan.

00:47:37.520 Make him back into it.

00:47:38.120 Right.

00:47:38.320 Now you have a game plan, right?

00:47:39.660 And he might say, oh, we don't do raises at all.

00:47:41.960 That's a pretty good red flag.

00:47:44.840 Maybe.

00:47:45.280 Where's my progression path here?

00:47:47.680 It's like, oh, okay.

00:47:49.200 Well, maybe I ought to come up.

00:47:51.300 Maybe this is a secondary path that I need to now consider.

00:47:53.660 Maybe it's time to start looking for a new employment.

00:47:57.800 As a side note, I think we add so much meaning when we hear people say no.

00:48:05.180 We got to be careful.

00:48:05.920 Are you saying we come up with what that actually means?

00:48:09.820 Well, it means something about me, right?

00:48:11.680 If I ask Ryan, hey, Ryan, will you do this?

00:48:14.180 And if he says no, it's not Ryan's not interested in what I ask.

00:48:17.700 Oh, it's like Ryan doesn't like me.

00:48:19.020 Ryan doesn't like me or I'm not good enough or whatever that is, right?

00:48:23.580 And it kind of goes back to what you're saying earlier about establishing boundaries and saying

00:48:27.320 no to people.

00:48:27.800 So, I think often we don't say no to people because we don't want people to say no to us.

00:48:35.220 We know what it feels like.

00:48:36.420 Because of what it means.

00:48:37.140 Yeah.

00:48:37.980 And it doesn't mean anything.

00:48:39.760 All it means is he's not interested.

00:48:41.500 I actually –

00:48:42.200 No.

00:48:42.360 I would be willing to bet that it's more this, that we don't say no because we're worried

00:48:52.160 about how – if you said, hey, Ryan, will you come help me move this weekend?

00:48:59.300 And I said no, I'd be worried about how you perceive me.

00:49:04.040 Yeah.

00:49:04.220 Because you know you put meaning all around no when people say no to you.

00:49:08.380 So, I'm like, well, if I say no, then Kip might think I'm a jerk and I don't want

00:49:12.560 to feel like that and I don't want to feel like that and –

00:49:15.800 It's craziness.

00:49:17.280 And I get it.

00:49:18.540 I mean, we all do it and it takes – because we're conditioned to do that.

00:49:21.440 But it's good to be around people.

00:49:23.420 First, we have to be this way because you're not going to be – it's going to be – I

00:49:26.560 think it's going to be difficult to be around people that communicate in that way,

00:49:29.980 right?

00:49:30.640 And we can't change people and focus on yourself, right?

00:49:33.720 Yeah.

00:49:34.040 But it's good to be around people where you can say no.

00:49:37.760 Yeah.

00:49:38.000 And they're like, okay.

00:49:39.120 Okay.

00:49:39.540 And not make it mean something.

00:49:40.840 Yeah.

00:49:41.080 And if somebody gets their panties in a bunch over you saying no, okay, that's a problem

00:49:45.300 with that dude.

00:49:46.020 Totally.

00:49:46.460 He's got some emotional intelligence issues that maybe he's not quite worked out.

00:49:51.920 Need to figure some things out.

00:49:53.220 Yeah.

00:49:53.520 One of the things I wanted to address and I think maybe wind things down here about

00:49:58.380 jujitsu specifically because that's what I wanted to talk about tonight.

00:50:01.140 Yeah.

00:50:01.420 We keep tangent.

00:50:02.140 I got my hand right here on my cheek.

00:50:03.880 My cheek hurts too, man.

00:50:05.120 Your cheek hurts?

00:50:05.900 My cheek.

00:50:06.260 Someone choke your face?

00:50:07.580 Probably.

00:50:08.300 We worked on chokes today and I probably put my head down just to screw with somebody

00:50:12.080 so they couldn't get my neck and they probably just part.

00:50:14.680 It was part of me.

00:50:15.320 Let me see to see if I can break his jaw off instead of choke his neck. 1.00

00:50:18.500 Well, it's like my cheekbone.

00:50:20.140 I'm just like every little part of my body.

00:50:22.480 I touch them.

00:50:22.980 Oh yeah.

00:50:23.220 I'm sore there too.

00:50:24.340 Yeah.

00:50:24.500 Yep.

00:50:24.840 It hurts right there too.

00:50:26.540 We're turning people off from jujitsu at this point.

00:50:28.700 Everyone's like, okay.

00:50:29.440 I'm not doing that.

00:50:30.100 I'm not doing that.

00:50:30.500 No.

00:50:30.860 I was going to say one other thing about jujitsu as I was thinking about what we could

00:50:34.800 talk about this evening was there's a lot of men who are asking about building confidence.

00:50:41.360 How do I build confidence?

00:50:42.360 How do I build confidence with women? 1.00

00:50:43.820 How do I build asking for a raise?

00:50:45.400 He's like, I'm not confident enough to do that.

00:50:47.040 They see other men who have this X factor and they just, they just lack this, this confidence.

00:50:53.960 And, and the only thing I can say to that is that you aren't, you aren't entitled to

00:50:59.440 it.

00:51:00.560 You aren't entitled to it.

00:51:01.960 There's no man out there who's just naturally and inherently confident.

00:51:06.940 There's people that are out there that are arrogant, that are egotistical, but that's

00:51:11.340 not confidence.

00:51:11.940 That's fake.

00:51:12.580 It's not real.

00:51:13.160 It's a, it's a, it's a, it's an act.

00:51:17.280 So if there's nobody out there in the world who is just naturally confident, then what

00:51:22.700 that means is that somehow along the way they acquired it.

00:51:26.780 And then the question becomes not how do I get confident, but like, how did these individuals

00:51:32.220 become confident?

00:51:33.800 So you can relate that to yourself.

00:51:35.560 And the answer is you earn it.

00:51:37.240 You earn confidence by doing things that you're afraid of.

00:51:40.840 If you're not confident with women, you go talk to women. 1.00

00:51:44.760 If you're not confident about having difficult conversations with a spouse or an employer

00:51:48.980 or an employee, you go have uncomfortable conversations with your wife or your spouse

00:51:54.320 or your boss or your employee.

00:51:55.480 I think jujitsu ties in line perfect with this because a lot of guys are not confident with

00:52:01.600 who they are, with their bodies, with their minds, with their strength, with all of these

00:52:04.460 things.

00:52:04.960 How do you overcome it?

00:52:06.280 You go into the gym and you prove to yourself that you're capable of more than what you thought

00:52:11.060 about an hour earlier.

00:52:13.580 Right?

00:52:13.900 Because an hour earlier, you're like, I don't know if I can do this.

00:52:16.800 I don't know.

00:52:17.780 I'm scared.

00:52:19.100 I'm a little nervous.

00:52:20.120 All this stuff's fine.

00:52:21.080 You can feel that way.

00:52:22.080 But once you overcome it, that is how you build confidence.

00:52:26.000 I think the key is the definition of overcome it.

00:52:29.680 Overcome it isn't, I'd like to clarify, Ryan is not saying become like, you don't get the

00:52:37.080 confidence because you're amazing at jujitsu.

00:52:39.360 No, no, no, no.

00:52:39.660 Oh, I overcome it and now I'm amazing at jujitsu.

00:52:41.900 Oh, no.

00:52:42.500 You don't have to wait that long.

00:52:43.060 Overcome it is, you did it.

00:52:45.620 That's it.

00:52:45.920 It's small little things.

00:52:47.000 Yeah.

00:52:47.180 It's the fact that you just walked in the door.

00:52:49.480 Showed up.

00:52:50.240 It's the fact that you put a gi on for the first time.

00:52:54.220 It's the fact that the instructor taught you a move and you tried it.

00:53:00.320 And then it's the fact that he said, all right, we're going to roll for five minutes.

00:53:03.580 And you go head to head with another individual who's trying stuff on you.

00:53:06.780 And it's the fact that you get punched in the face or your arm hurts a little bit and

00:53:12.000 you walk out.

00:53:12.580 You're like, yeah, that hurt, but I'm okay.

00:53:15.360 I can handle this.

00:53:16.960 I find it interesting that when I think of the scenario that you just created, how often

00:53:24.800 guys don't step on the mat.

00:53:26.140 They don't try things.

00:53:27.560 They don't do jujitsu because of pride, because they don't want to admit that they don't

00:53:32.940 know anything.

00:53:33.660 They don't want to be vulnerable.

00:53:36.440 They step through, they create the experience, right?

00:53:39.660 They overcome it.

00:53:40.900 And the irony is they didn't get more pride.

00:53:44.340 No.

00:53:45.040 They just got more humility.

00:53:46.960 And I really honestly believe those guys that quote unquote have that X factor, they're

00:53:51.700 not walking around with pride glowing from their bodies.

00:53:55.880 You know what I mean?

00:53:56.300 Like, oh, I'm amazing.

00:53:58.240 Because that's not the X factor.

00:53:59.700 Everybody sees right through that.

00:54:00.860 Exactly.

00:54:01.660 The X factor is the guy that's, I really honestly believe is comfortable in his own

00:54:06.600 skin and is willing to admit that I'm not good at this, but I'm willing to try.

00:54:12.540 I'm willing to push through.

00:54:14.380 Those people have huge amount of humility.

00:54:16.700 I think we ought to stop calling it the X factor because to me, when I hear that, I think it's

00:54:23.600 just something somebody inherently possesses or like something you don't really know or

00:54:27.800 understand or can't define it.

00:54:29.300 No, you can define it.

00:54:30.380 It's confidence.

00:54:31.240 It's earned confidence.

00:54:33.480 Yeah.

00:54:33.560 The X factor is a man who walks into a building and says, I own this room because I have owned

00:54:39.420 this room because I've done all the preparation and all the work and all the necessary little

00:54:45.020 steps in the background in order for me to walk into this room with my chest out high,

00:54:50.500 my shoulders back, looking people in the eye, grabbing their hand, shaking it confidently

00:54:55.760 because they've earned the right to do all that.

00:54:57.960 Maybe it should be called the O factor for order of man.

00:55:03.140 Is that a little weird?

00:55:04.220 No, I don't think so.

00:55:07.820 You know how it gets late and you're like, you start to get weird.

00:55:11.160 You're there.

00:55:12.340 I'm not there.

00:55:13.180 You're there.

00:55:15.620 We should have stopped five minutes ago.

00:55:17.400 No, this has been good.

00:55:18.660 And like I said, guys, look, here's the deal.

00:55:21.200 I know that there's those of you who want to build confidence.

00:55:24.560 And I know that there's those of you who want to start training and maybe it's jujitsu and

00:55:29.860 maybe it's karate and maybe it's wrestling and maybe it's kickboxing or Muay Thai.

00:55:35.020 I don't know.

00:55:35.380 I don't know what it is, but you want to start something and you're wondering how to do it.

00:55:40.320 I would challenge you and say, you already know how you know how to start it.

00:55:44.660 You, you, you look up online, you find a couple of gyms near you, you pick a day, you

00:55:50.780 go in there, you look stupid for a minute, totally uncomfortable. 0.92

00:55:54.560 I sat in the parking lot when I was going to the gym, I sat in the parking lot for probably

00:55:58.500 10 minutes checking my phone, but I wasn't checking my phone.

00:56:02.380 I was stalling.

00:56:03.780 Yeah.

00:56:04.340 Cause I was like, this is where I don't know.

00:56:05.620 Should I be here?

00:56:06.280 I don't know.

00:56:06.820 What's it going to be like?

00:56:07.580 He's going to be in there.

00:56:08.180 He's going to be there.

00:56:08.820 Is Matthew going to be there?

00:56:09.980 Cause that's my buddy.

00:56:10.660 I'm like, or am I going to be alone?

00:56:12.880 And I was stalling.

00:56:14.420 If you're looking to do something, go do it.

00:56:16.800 And, and when you do post some pictures, like tag, tag, tag us in Instagram, tag us in the

00:56:22.040 Facebook group.

00:56:23.380 Just, just let us know.

00:56:24.820 I think I genuinely believe that you're, you're going to enjoy it and it might not be for you.

00:56:31.740 You might find that out.

00:56:32.720 Like this isn't for me, but you're not going to be out anything.

00:56:36.620 You're only going to be better if you go try that thing.

00:56:39.520 I think right now when, I think there's a handful of guys, more, more than a handful,

00:56:45.240 right?

00:56:45.420 How many guys listen to this thing?

00:56:46.580 Five guys?

00:56:47.560 Five.

00:56:48.320 There's actually, there's six now.

00:56:49.900 Six men that listen to this.

00:56:51.300 And my mom.

00:56:51.920 You six guys and Ryan's mom.

00:56:54.320 Okay.

00:56:55.060 You thousands of guys.

00:56:57.220 Hundreds of thousands.

00:56:58.200 Hundreds of thousands of guys listening.

00:57:00.000 Close to millions.

00:57:01.480 Millions of guys listening.

00:57:02.920 Half the world listening.

00:57:05.560 Some of you are saying, you know what?

00:57:08.040 Ryan's right.

00:57:09.160 Ryan's right.

00:57:09.860 I need to take action.

00:57:12.420 Once I'm ready, right?

00:57:14.820 I'm going to, I need to do these things first.

00:57:17.220 Yeah.

00:57:17.440 Right.

00:57:17.680 I need to prep.

00:57:18.940 Right.

00:57:19.360 And we'll, whether it's writing a book, it's doing jujitsu or whatever.

00:57:23.920 I guarantee a huge percentage of you are going, oh, once I'm ready.

00:57:28.580 Yeah.

00:57:28.680 I need to lose a little bit of weight.

00:57:30.840 I'm going to do this and then I'm going to go.

00:57:33.720 Yeah.

00:57:34.220 That's not the way.

00:57:35.100 Just go, man.

00:57:35.840 Just go.

00:57:36.220 I remember, uh, so I, I trained with a gi and I didn't have a gi when I first started.

00:57:43.640 And so I went in there and without a gi and nobody said anything.

00:57:48.940 I felt dumb.

00:57:50.100 Cause it was a geek class.

00:57:51.860 I had no gi and I felt dumb cause everybody had a gi and they look good.

00:57:55.940 I'm like, these guys, you know, and I didn't have a gi and you know what?

00:57:58.500 So I don't care.

00:57:59.300 It was, it was, I'm a new, I'm new.

00:58:01.900 How would I know?

00:58:03.020 Totally.

00:58:03.520 And then the, the gal there was, she, she's like, well, you need a belt. 1.00

00:58:07.000 You know, she's like, this is the size for you.

00:58:08.840 And I'm like, I don't know how to tie this thing.

00:58:10.000 So I like wrapped it around and then later square dot, it was just a weird knot, you know?

00:58:13.960 And then, and then later I jumped on YouTube.

00:58:15.680 I'm like, this is ridiculous.

00:58:17.320 Look at on YouTube to figure out how to tie a belt.

00:58:20.100 Yeah.

00:58:20.500 But you know what?

00:58:21.160 Those little things, those humble little acts of just getting started, putting yourself out there,

00:58:25.260 being awkward, being uncomfortable is what it takes to have the O factor.

00:58:30.900 Yeah.

00:58:32.620 I liked it.

00:58:33.600 I think it sounded good right then.

00:58:35.160 All right.

00:58:35.520 Once you said it, it was good.

00:58:37.080 When I say it, it sounds cool.

00:58:37.880 No, you guys can vote.

00:58:38.980 Let us know.

00:58:39.780 The X factor, the O factor.

00:58:42.480 Maybe there's something else.

00:58:43.620 There's totally going to be some jokes about the whole O face or something.

00:58:47.280 That's what I was thinking of when you said that.

00:58:50.020 I didn't want to go there, but you went there.

00:58:52.260 Well, guys, look, I didn't want to let you down.

00:58:55.960 I told you I was going to have a Friday field notes for you every day, directly or indirectly.

00:58:59.080 However, I told you, I told you I was going to have it here.

00:59:00.800 And so here we are, we're hitting publish on this thing before midnight.

00:59:03.360 So we can have it to you.

00:59:04.220 It's late.

00:59:04.580 You're probably going to listen to it Saturday anyways.

00:59:06.480 So maybe it's your Saturday, Saturday field notes this week.

00:59:08.800 But like Kip said, I wanted to be a man of my word.

00:59:12.180 I talk about that a lot.

00:59:14.320 I tell you guys that, you know, if you can't do the things, even if they're small things and

00:59:18.840 you know what?

00:59:19.220 All of you guys would have forgiven us.

00:59:20.900 There's nobody that would have been like, Oh, I'm done.

00:59:24.200 I'm not listening to that ever again.

00:59:26.000 But you would have known.

00:59:26.740 I would have known.

00:59:27.560 I would have known.

00:59:28.620 And in fact, as we're sitting in here in our little cabin, you, you saw my, my reaction.

00:59:35.120 I was like, dude, I can't believe this.

00:59:36.880 Like I've never missed a show.

00:59:38.260 It was bugging me.

00:59:39.420 Yeah.

00:59:39.840 Right.

00:59:40.100 It was bugging me.

00:59:41.580 And I'm not going to let that happen.

00:59:43.360 I'm going to keep going and do the things barring some catastrophic event.

00:59:48.060 I'm going to do what I say I'm going to do.

00:59:49.640 So I hope you enjoyed this one guys.

00:59:51.700 I know we were kind of all over the place.

00:59:53.460 It was off the cuff, no scripting.

00:59:55.820 We didn't really talk about what we were going to discuss tonight, but jujitsu, man, it's

01:00:00.520 been a great week.

01:00:02.000 Look into it.

01:00:02.960 I promise you, you will enjoy it to some capacity, some more than others.

01:00:06.560 I'm sure jujitsu, my brother, Pete Roberts with origin, they make some great training gear.

01:00:13.820 They put on a great program.

01:00:15.080 We did a factory tour of the origin factory, which was awesome.

01:00:20.140 Super cool.

01:00:20.480 Right.

01:00:20.740 To see all their old looms and all their old.

01:00:22.720 I can hang in there all day and just watch.

01:00:24.880 And these are not state of the art machinery.

01:00:27.000 This is, these are old looms that they've refurbished, brought back to life and they're

01:00:32.460 creating top notch qualities, quality products.

01:00:37.180 What more can I say?

01:00:38.680 Guys, just, just check it out.

01:00:40.020 Let us know if you do it.

01:00:41.500 I hope you enjoyed the episode.

01:00:42.740 Anything that you would add?

01:00:44.720 No, sir.

01:00:45.440 All right, guys, go out there, take action, become the man you are meant to be.

01:01:12.740 Who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who.

01:01:17.460 I'm the man, I'm the man who has a story.

01:01:24.640 Thank you.

01:01:27.320 Thank you.

01:01:28.240 Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast.

01:01:54.620 If you're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to

01:01:58.640 be, we invite you to join the Order at orderofman.com.

Order of Man - September 01, 2018

A Primer on Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

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