Order of Man

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart

00:00:04.980 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.440 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong. This is your life. This is who

00:00:17.160 you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,

00:00:22.700 you can call yourself a man. Mr. Kip Sorensen, good to see you, brother. I hope all is going

00:00:28.000 well. You're looking pretty good in that order of man swag there. Did you design that logo or was

00:00:34.860 that Nick Farr? Depends who you ask. It's Nick. In other words, Nick, I'm asking you.

00:00:41.640 You're going to lie to me. So got it. Nick, Nick. Well, let me tell you my lie. Let me tell you my

00:00:46.320 lie in case guys want to believe me. No, I wrote it up and then I drew it literally on like a white

00:00:53.180 board. And then I'm like, Hey, Nick, can you make that into a logo? So all right. So he cleaned up

00:00:59.700 your slop. In other words, got it. Yeah. But the, the creative juices were, were mine. And there's

00:01:05.520 meaning to this logo, by the way, like there's, there's some hidden, uh, meeting. So can you just,

00:01:12.660 can you disclose that stuff or, you know, let's close that. Oh, it's your, it's your movement. I,

00:01:17.600 I should probably be, you should probably be on board. So, so the E is echo. And then you'll see

00:01:23.600 the S is for echo strong. And this is the battle scene that, uh, that I was on in the iron council,

00:01:31.100 just for you guys that don't know what we're talking about. I mean, come on, hold on, hold on,

00:01:34.660 hold up. You weren't just on the battle team. You were the battle team leader, the team leader.

00:01:41.740 Yes. That's right. Echo strong hashtag echo strong. And then the four stars across the top

00:01:47.180 are the four quadrants that we should be focused on for balance. And then the arrow that points down

00:01:53.640 is to remain maintain, uh, to maintain humility and, and to remember that we need to maintain,

00:01:58.600 maybe humble to grow. Yeah. Those last two points are solid, but honestly, I had no idea about that.

00:02:04.600 I didn't even ask. I should have asked. So, yeah. So not just a bunch of lines on a piece of paper.

00:02:09.620 Yes. Good stuff. Guys, if you want to know about what we're even talking about here,

00:02:14.760 then go to order a man.com slash iron council, trying to keep all the links straight here,

00:02:20.720 order a man.com slash iron council. You can learn more about what we're doing there. I think we've

00:02:24.460 got a two or three minute video of me, of course, because I'd love to hear myself talk, explaining

00:02:29.360 concepts and ideas and things that we're doing in the iron council. And we're almost to 900 members

00:02:35.520 right now trying to hit that thousand member mark. Yes. It's very cool. Uh, and before Kip and I hit

00:02:41.480 record on this podcast, we were talking about some of the logistics and the strategy and everything

00:02:45.720 else to ensure, uh, that we're making sure that you guys get the best experience possible. Um, I also

00:02:54.460 talked with one of, one of our guys, Drew Kachurik, who's been a long time member, friend, advocate,

00:02:59.180 mentor, coach, and, and, and, uh, handles a lot of business in the iron council. We're actually

00:03:04.700 going to be bumping up the price of the iron council here in the next several days. So if

00:03:08.980 you're listening to this podcast, jump on it now, because the investment is going up and I'll tell

00:03:14.260 you why it's going up. We've invested in a lot of infrastructure. We're investing in the right

00:03:19.780 leadership to, to be here and to help make sure we're, we're offering the best experience possible.

00:03:25.500 Uh, and we want guys who are serious about their personal growth. So if you join within the next

00:03:31.200 couple of days, you'll be good. If not, you're going to pay the increased price. It's the increased

00:03:36.360 investment, but regardless of whether you get on the early price, which was, has been the same price

00:03:41.720 for the past five years now, or the new investment, it's going to be well worth your time, attention,

00:03:46.940 and energy. There is not a doubt in my mind that we offer the greatest experience, uh, and, and bang for

00:03:53.440 your buck in the self-development man improvement space. So without a doubt for years, I've been

00:04:01.480 telling Ryan, like, dude, it's way, we should be charging way more. It's underpriced. Yeah, for sure.

00:04:07.600 It's probably a third at this point of what it should be. I'm not going to increase it by 300% guys.

00:04:12.860 So don't worry about that. But, uh, the price is going up. So get on it now. Yeah. I do want to call

00:04:17.760 this out because this does come up from time to time. And I, we have a lot of international listeners

00:04:23.160 across the world, uh, listening to the podcast. And, and sometimes there's a lot of assumption

00:04:29.300 made like, Oh, well, I'm not in the U S so, you know, I don't have a play to join the iron council.

00:04:34.960 That's not true. We're global. So we have international brothers that are part of battle

00:04:40.460 teams. Uh, we have some teams that, that are kind of a little bit more geared towards time zones.

00:04:46.440 So they'll lend themselves to have more international guys in those teams, but there's teams that have

00:04:52.980 guys in multiple continents on the same team. So if, if you're not in the U S and you're in Europe or

00:04:59.100 Germany or Asia or whatever, and you want to join us in the IC, join us guaranteed. There's brothers

00:05:05.200 that are going to want to meet at a time that you probably want to meet. And, and if not, we'll

00:05:10.300 spin up a new team and we'll, we'll get something in your time zone. That's working. So I only have

00:05:16.520 one question. Is Germany not considered part of Europe now or how did I say Germany and then Europe?

00:05:23.420 Whatever. Yes, but it's all good. Yeah. We just had a gentleman from Ireland joined. We've got a lot

00:05:31.700 of representation in Canada, Australia, Europe, and Germany. Uh, so make sure you guys connect with

00:05:38.980 us. We love having our international, international brothers with us. All right. With that said,

00:05:42.300 let's get into some questions today, guys. Yeah. So our questions today, we're fielding from Insta

00:05:47.300 from the gram to follow Mr. Mickler, they'll go to, or follow him at Ryan Mickler. And by the way,

00:05:54.800 on Instagram, the Instagram overlords, uh, uh, freed me. They unlocked me from Instagram prisons.

00:06:00.380 So you guys should be able to tag us now and converse and exchange. And it's pretty amazing.

00:06:05.640 You could see exactly when they flip that switch off and then back on again. So that's good news

00:06:13.200 for now. We are unlocked from Instagram prison. So until Ryan, you know, toes the line again,

00:06:19.600 and then, uh, who knows what will happen. I said something today that might get me, uh,

00:06:24.540 locked back up. What did I say? Let me see here. Oh, I put a little meme on there and I,

00:06:28.980 it's got a highway, just a very straightforward highway. And it says me making a simple common

00:06:33.260 sense point, 99% of the people agree with, and then it's got this spaghetti bowl of freeways and

00:06:38.580 highways. And it says feminist and wokesters attempting to explain why I'm wrong. That might

00:06:44.420 get me kicked off. So join while you can guys, we'll see how it goes. Well, and, and this just

00:06:50.340 stresses the importance of connecting with Ryan in all the avenues, right? Whether it's subscribing to

00:06:56.240 the YouTube channel, Instagram and Facebook and Twitter. So, you know, just connect to multiple

00:07:02.380 platforms. So that way, if we're getting blocked or whatever, you can connect with those and make

00:07:06.200 sure that, uh, you're not missing out on the info. That's right. That's right. Cool. All right. All

00:07:11.140 right. Enough of us. Let's get to you guys. Nice warmup question here. Wayne 06 Williams,

00:07:17.180 who is your current dream guest? Someone that you're kind of geared towards on the podcast.

00:07:22.460 Very easy. My dream guest, the number one guest I want to have on is Keanu Reeves. Very easy. He

00:07:31.260 doesn't do a lot of conversations. He's a very fascinating individual. He's obviously very,

00:07:35.580 very dedicated to his craft. Uh, and he does his craft well. And then when he's done, he goes

00:07:40.560 aside and he lives his life, I'm assuming, but we don't hear a lot of drama and BS and

00:07:45.060 woke type bull crap from him. He just goes and lives his life and does what he needs to do. And he seems to

00:07:50.180 me from the outside, looking in a very solid individual. And, uh, I would love to have Mr.

00:07:54.860 Keanu Reeves on the podcast, uh, outside of that, you know, the usual is love to have Jordan Peterson

00:07:59.400 on at some point. I mean, it's crazy that it hasn't happened yet. Uh, weird, frankly, that it

00:08:06.180 hasn't happened yet. Um, but you know, it might or might not happen. Mike Rowe, I mean, the lineup,

00:08:12.300 we've, I've got an entire list, but, but again, to answer your question, Keanu Reeves,

00:08:16.500 and then the amount of people that the guys that are coming on now, like we just did a podcast with

00:08:22.020 Madison Cawthorne in DC for a repeat. And we did it in his office there in DC, which was cool.

00:08:27.720 He gave us a tour of the Capitol. Uh, I just met with Eddie, Eddie Gallagher, uh, for dinner,

00:08:33.040 him and his wife joined my wife and I and Brian and Megan, uh, with origin for dinner the other night.

00:08:37.500 That was a great dinner. We did it at Trump hotel. Uh, and, and the, I think it's called the BLT

00:08:44.100 prime or BLT grill. Unbelievable. I mean, this place, it was unbelievable. Uh, and we were going

00:08:53.580 to do on Dan Crenshaw, but he got consumed with doing some boats on the Senate floor. So that was

00:08:59.720 unfortunate, but he's doing his work, which is good. So we've got, we've got a very, and I just

00:09:04.860 got word back from another high caliber guest that you're either going to love or hate, which I

00:09:10.260 have no problem with. I don't want any fence sitters on the podcast. Uh, so we, we'll probably

00:09:15.600 do that one here in the next week or two. So it's good. We got a great lineup.

00:09:21.140 Yeah. Question actually is aligned with that whole fence that are a comment that you just made. So

00:09:26.380 Marcus, you cut out, you said the next question is, yeah, the next question is kind of related to

00:09:31.740 you getting someone controversial on. So Marcus, man, Instagram, I love it. Cause I can't slaughter

00:09:37.960 names. Marcus AF Godin. Uh, do you think political views need to be pretty similar to work in a

00:09:46.600 relationship or can there be a good amount of healthy disagreement without extremes?

00:09:53.280 All right. I actually saw this one last week. This is a very good question. Look, here's,

00:09:58.560 here's what I'm going to say. My wife and I celebrated. Oh shoot. I think 17 years. Yes.

00:10:04.640 Congrats. 17 years of marriage, uh, about a month and a half ago. Guys, marriage is hard work.

00:10:12.680 It is not easy. It's the anniversary date. Uh, June 26th. Okay. I feel like that's a test. Are you

00:10:20.760 testing me? Did my wife tell you to test me or what? No, ours was just like a month ago. So I was

00:10:26.460 kind of curious. Got it. So what's your, what's your date? Well, not a month ago. What am I talking

00:10:30.420 about? Just a few weeks ago, July 25th. Oh, see, I passed the test. You failed. Yeah. I just failed.

00:10:36.100 Yeah. Well, and in hindsight, I was like, wait, 25th or is it 24th? I know. That's wild. Oh, see?

00:10:41.520 Yeah. You're in trouble. Even worse. Well, she doesn't listen. We have already confirmed. They

00:10:45.720 don't listen to the podcast. So it's no big deal. She didn't listen to this one. I'm going to send her

00:10:48.940 a link and say, Hey, listen to minute, you know, or whatever minute we're on. Yeah. Yeah. Um,

00:10:53.820 so you were, you guys were married on pioneer day or the day after the day after. Yeah. All right. So

00:11:00.420 the 25th. So that's easy. All right. I'll make sure I send you a reminder each year. Thank you.

00:11:04.900 Pioneer day today. Make sure tomorrow you got you. That's what accountability looks like. Gentlemen,

00:11:09.260 that is accountability and this, and the benefit of banding with other brothers

00:11:13.240 and the benefit of joining the iron council just to throw that in there. Because otherwise I'd be

00:11:18.040 sleeping on the couch. And if you don't know what pioneer day is, well, don't worry about it.

00:11:23.680 Unless you're from Utah. Yeah. Unless you care about people being discriminated due to their

00:11:28.420 religious beliefs in America. Okay. Sounds good. Uh, all right. So we're talking about

00:11:35.340 religious beliefs. Now we'll go to political views. Marriage is hard as hell guys. Let's be

00:11:40.400 honest. I mean, it's fulfilling. It's rewarding. Uh, obviously a lot of benefit from it. I've been

00:11:45.000 married for 17 years. I've fought and clawed and scratched and done everything I can to make sure this

00:11:50.120 works. I would find it a very difficult thing factor if my wife didn't believe the same and held the same

00:12:02.860 political views as myself. I'm just going to throw it out there like that. I just don't think if we

00:12:09.800 didn't have the same political religious views that it would just be too much. Now I'm not going to tell

00:12:19.940 you that it can't work. I'm not going to tell you that you shouldn't marry somebody who doesn't have

00:12:24.600 your same political views. But in my experience, when it comes to politics and religion and maybe

00:12:30.780 even sports, depending on what, what, what your personalities are like, there's just some fundamental

00:12:37.000 beliefs that are so different that why add that into the dynamic. But here's what I would say is

00:12:47.800 that I, I know that there are, we'll just talk about it from this context and I don't put labels

00:12:53.320 on it, but let's just talk about it from this context. There are some liberals who are reasonable,

00:12:58.640 moderate people. And then there are some conservatives who are reasonable, moderate

00:13:06.620 people who even in disagreement, you can still find some common ground because I think a lot of

00:13:13.900 people, regardless of what side of the aisle you sit on, really believe that they want to help other

00:13:18.620 individuals, that they want to pursue happiness and fulfillment and liberty and all of that.

00:13:22.980 But the way they see it happening is just a little different.

00:13:25.620 Yeah. And, and if I think it can work, if you're fairly close together, even if you sit on the

00:13:31.100 opposite side of the aisle, but the wider that expansion is the greater challenge that it becomes.

00:13:38.000 And there's people that I talk with and it's primarily via social media who are so fundamentally

00:13:45.800 different than I am in my political beliefs that I can't even imagine us coming together to find some

00:13:54.920 sort of common ground. And I would not want to commit myself to that type of woman.

00:14:01.900 But if you can find some fundamental common ground and the way that you go about achieving that and

00:14:08.220 working towards that is slightly different. Got it. Check that could work. But if you're so

00:14:14.760 fundamentally different and the foundations and the principles that you believe in are so radically

00:14:20.460 different, why, why would you do? Oh, because I love her. Look, I love my wife and I'll say this

00:14:30.100 because again, I know she doesn't listen to the podcast. There's, there's a million other women

00:14:36.420 on the planet that I could love just as deeply. I know that sounds harsh, but there's a million other

00:14:44.120 men on the planet who she could love just as deeply as me. We've decided to commit to each other. And so

00:14:49.560 we honor that commitment, but I'm not so oblivious to the fact that there aren't other women out

00:14:54.380 there. And so I'll hear a lot of guys say, well, what about this? And she doesn't want to do this.

00:14:57.860 Find somebody else, bro. Yeah. Well, I love her. Okay. Well, you know, that's good, but that's not the

00:15:05.020 only factor. And if there's fundamentally different perspectives about the way that you see life,

00:15:11.920 the way you want to raise children, what you think about religion, what you think about politics,

00:15:15.680 and they're so counter to each other, why, why find somebody else? She can find somebody else.

00:15:25.220 And I'm fairly certain you will be much more fulfilled, much happier. And there just won't

00:15:31.580 be that extra little chink in the marriage that could derail it in the wake of every other little

00:15:36.400 chink that could possibly derail it. And like you're saying, it's already hard enough, right? So it's

00:15:41.540 like, don't make it any harder than it's going to be. Right. But what we do, I think a lot is men

00:15:48.480 and women do this too, men and women is we just make these types of decisions based on emotion. Like

00:15:54.600 I love her. Got it. That's great. You should, like, if you didn't, I'd be worried,

00:15:59.300 but that's not the only consideration. You know, what, what if, what if you've always dreamed of having

00:16:07.260 this traditional family household where you go out to work, your wife stays home, she's a homemaker,

00:16:13.420 you're, you're doing homeschooling, she's raising the kids. And that's what you envision. And she's

00:16:19.100 not interested in that. So do you, do you try to contend with that because you love her? Or do you

00:16:24.220 say, you know, I love you, but this is a deal breaker for me. Yeah. Our strategy is different.

00:16:29.400 Right. Yeah. Which is fine, by the way, like if she wants to go out and pursue a career or

00:16:33.720 you want to stay at home or whatever, whatever the dynamic is, that's all fine. But find somebody

00:16:39.120 who is going to be compatible with the way that you would like to raise your children and the way that

00:16:44.480 you would like to march throughout this life. That's what I think. Yeah, totally. All right.

00:16:51.360 Maggie Lynn, 28, 22, uh, advice for a husband's whose, whose wife is struggling with postpartum

00:16:59.340 depression. So advice for the husband, this sounds like it's coming from a woman, right? Maggie,

00:17:06.920 I'm assuming maybe. Yeah. Maybe she's asking for her husband. She's like, she's like, Hey,

00:17:11.020 step up. Hey, Bob, listen to this podcast at minute mark, 20 minutes in one second is pretty good. I

00:17:18.580 mean, I didn't ask the question, but it's pretty good as she makes like a fake account just to get

00:17:23.540 the question in. Yeah, that's right. That's right. Um, post, we got you, Maggie. We got you. Here we

00:17:29.740 go. We got you back. Well, not only do we have your back, but I'm prompt. I promise you guys,

00:17:33.560 if you can better deal with this, your life is going to be better because my wife actually has

00:17:38.300 dealt with some postpartum stuff, especially with not, I guess all of them. She's more manageable

00:17:44.760 with our third and fourth, but the first and second man struggled postpartum. Yeah. I mean,

00:17:51.400 so much about your life changes and the dynamic. And now you have this little critter you got to

00:17:55.180 take care of. And that, that changes the dynamic between you and husband and wife. And so, yeah,

00:18:00.860 it's, it's tough. So what I would say is, uh, just understand what's happening and it isn't a matter

00:18:08.780 of just fitting the square peg into the round hole. I think we, as men think sometimes we can

00:18:14.560 just like force it. Like what, what's the problem? Just fix it. Like, just stop being like that. And

00:18:19.760 I wish that was the case. And I think men have an easier time of doing this than possibly women.

00:18:25.840 It's, it's just not, in my experience, it's not that simple. It's, it's not so easy that you just

00:18:32.060 say, feel better. Convince her to feel better. Yeah. Right. Like it's a real thing. There's hormonal

00:18:37.900 imbalances and physical changes. And, and, and of course the emotional side of it. And then there's

00:18:43.960 a spiritual element because now you have this little baby to take care of. There's so much

00:18:48.060 going on here. So what I would say is just acknowledge that, that it may be beyond your

00:18:54.380 control. There's nothing you can do to force her to improve and change. I would also say really

00:19:01.760 strive to be a sounding board and think about what a sounding board is. A sounding board doesn't

00:19:07.880 talk back. A sounding board just receives. And that's very difficult for us as men because

00:19:14.960 we want to get the information, interpret it, run it through our systems and processes, and

00:19:21.440 then give an outcome, give a solution and a fix. Yeah. Don't do that in this particular

00:19:28.020 instance. Just be a sounding board. Let, listen, just absorb, receive. It's very antithetical

00:19:35.220 to what we as men want to do, but you can do it because you're going to be focused on

00:19:39.460 it. So just receive. She's telling you about things. Hey, that must be hard. That must

00:19:45.160 be difficult. I don't understand, but I can certainly appreciate what you're going through.

00:19:49.500 Is there anything I can do? What do you need from me? And just absorb it. There's one of my

00:19:54.940 favorite quotes is by David Gilmore. He says, the real man gains renown by standing between

00:20:00.900 himself and just, uh, and his family absorbing the blows of fate with equanimity. Yeah. I love

00:20:08.580 that. And, and sometimes that just means that you, it's hard. I know, I understand guys,

00:20:15.760 you just need to absorb it, absorb the blows of fate. And that might mean that you just need

00:20:21.640 to sit there and just have her bounce ideas or thoughts off you. And you're like, I'm going

00:20:27.060 to fix this. Don't just absorb it. Just receive it. And you can be strong enough to just receive

00:20:34.680 it for a little while. I would also say that you need to look for opportunities to serve.

00:20:40.760 Okay. What a lot of men will do is they'll say to their wives, and I'm guilty of this,

00:20:45.220 and it's not bad, but you'll say, Hey hon, what can I do to help? And Kip, if your wife is anything

00:20:51.740 like my wife, her knee jerk reaction is nothing. I got it all. Is that, is that your wife too?

00:20:59.260 Is your wife like that? No, she actually, she said, ask her. So there's no way I would ever

00:21:05.480 be in a position to say, Hey, what can I do to help? She's already been telling me for the last

00:21:09.620 24 hours, what I should be doing. Look, I think that's a bit of an anomaly. I got to be honest

00:21:16.540 in my experience, a lot of wives will say, Hey, nothing. I got it because they're strong and

00:21:22.820 they're rugged and they're independent and they want to do it. And they pride themselves on getting

00:21:26.600 stuff done. That's what I experienced. Not to say your wife isn't those things, but I think that's

00:21:32.640 the anomaly. But she's that way sometimes for sure, where you can tell she's heads down.

00:21:36.740 So instead of asking your wife, what you can do, just do it. Yeah. Right. If you really cared

00:21:47.700 about helping her or anybody else, this might even apply to an employer or a client or a friend,

00:21:55.120 if you genuinely cared, you wouldn't ask, what would you do? You would acknowledge what needs to

00:22:04.060 be helped out around the house with the other children, perhaps in your own dynamic and you

00:22:11.040 would just do it. Right. You would just say, Hey, the dishes need to be done. Check. I'm going to go

00:22:17.220 do the dishes. Hey, she's taking a nap or would like to. So I'm going to take the one or two or five kids

00:22:23.740 and we're going to go to a mini golf or the movie or for a walk at the park. So the three kids could

00:22:31.600 play and I'm pushing the younger in a stroller and you would just do it. You wouldn't say, Hey, hon,

00:22:37.360 what can I do? Look, full disclosure. When I say that, I'm actually hoping she says nothing.

00:22:45.020 The natural tendency. That's pure honesty right there. When I go to her and I say, Hey, hon,

00:22:52.580 what can I do? And she says, Oh, nothing. I got it. I'm like, Oh, dodged a bullet. Awesome.

00:22:56.580 Or you asked real quiet. Hey, right. Somehow. Oh, she didn't hear me. Yeah. Oh, I asked. You

00:23:03.320 didn't hear me. Well, I was asking guys, you know, you know what needs to be done. So give her some

00:23:08.900 space, give her some time, understand that this is going to happen. This is natural. Be a sounding

00:23:14.120 board. Don't fix everything. And then solve problems. Look for problems, solve them and don't

00:23:21.880 ask what you can do. Just, just do it. And I think you're going to have a pretty good time with

00:23:27.280 that. Not, not ideal. It's not gonna be perfect. She's gonna have a better time than if you wouldn't

00:23:31.540 do those three things. All right. Next question. I got a little lost in my list here. All right.

00:23:40.520 Trotting Tyler, your thoughts on the man who gained an elected position in prison. He is at the end of

00:23:47.880 nearly 30 years sentence for murder and has been, has just been elected to a community position,

00:23:53.600 which has been vacant since 2013. Is this a sign of a healthy or failed justice system,

00:24:00.360 healthy or fade democracy? It's okay. So I don't know enough about the story.

00:24:07.460 So a man that just got off of a 30 year sentence for murder, I think you said, and he's filling a

00:24:13.240 vacant seat for the past, what did he say? 10 years or so. I didn't, I didn't catch the number,

00:24:16.900 but yeah, roughly about yeah. Eight years of vacancy elected position. Is it a sign of a

00:24:22.980 failed democracy? Let's start. Is it a fine, a sign of a failed judicial system? Was it

00:24:29.480 a bill justice system, justice system and democracy or healthy? Right. Right. It's not a sign. It's not

00:24:40.200 a sign of a failed justice system to tell me what about that system went wrong. So he was

00:24:46.720 right. He, he was found guilty of murder, paid his price, comes back. Like what about the justice

00:24:54.100 system is wrong there? So you're suggesting that this individual shouldn't be able to

00:25:00.280 now run for office. Okay. But that's the justice system as it is. It seems to be like,

00:25:06.220 again, I don't know enough about the situation, but it seems to me that it worked. That's number one.

00:25:10.140 Failed democracy. I don't think so. People saw how to vote him in. Right. What about the democracy

00:25:15.900 failed? People voted for him. They probably knew his record for the most part. Like what about the

00:25:19.520 democracy failed? Now this is an open position. And so by default, he got elected to an open position.

00:25:26.440 Yeah. But someone else could have chose to run and that very much addresses democracy.

00:25:32.680 Yeah. You could have chose to run. Yeah. If you don't like your idea. Right. You could have chose

00:25:38.320 to run. Now, is it a sign of, of, of, of great, you know, moral, a moral society? I, I, I would

00:25:48.100 probably say that again, I don't know enough about the situation, but based on what I do know and what

00:25:52.860 you've said, yeah, I probably wouldn't vote for a convicted murderer for political office. I mean,

00:25:59.100 that's, that's, that to me is a sign of poor judgment at, at, at best. So yeah, we live in

00:26:07.540 interesting times. We live in a very degenerate society. It's sad to me that maybe nobody else

00:26:12.080 would run. It's sad to me that, that, that you have enough people who would vote for potentially

00:26:17.660 this individual. And, and it might be a sign that we have some moral degeneracy taking place and maybe

00:26:26.440 more of us ought to step into the political arena. Uh, we ought to be more informed about the

00:26:32.100 situation. We ought to have some sort of moral compass and standard and, and belief where we

00:26:40.980 don't vote these types of individuals into office. But as far as failings of the justice system or

00:26:47.500 democracy, I, again, based on the limited, I would, I know, I would say no, but yeah, I mean,

00:26:54.320 there's no argument that we live in a degenerate society and increasingly so. And that's part of

00:27:00.000 the reason we do this podcast and we have this movement is to reinstill some of the virtues and

00:27:05.200 values that we once held, uh, and, and make these things popular and, and important again.

00:27:14.840 Yeah. I don't know enough about the situation to give a very good counter argument or even

00:27:20.700 commentary on the situation. And even the comment, like, even like what's murder, right? Like

00:27:26.260 what's the details? What was the situation? Like that drastically changes things. Right. Right.

00:27:33.000 Right. So, yeah. I mean, I just had a great conversation. I told you earlier with Eddie

00:27:36.880 Gallagher and his wife. And if you don't know who Eddie Gallagher is, you can go back and listen to my

00:27:42.360 podcast with him that we did several months ago. You can go buy his book, man in the arena,

00:27:46.440 but essentially he was a former Navy SEAL who was convicted of not, excuse me, not convicted,

00:27:53.740 charged with war crimes. And he was eventually acquitted because the justice system in that case

00:28:00.200 actually didn't work well and really teed him up and set him up for failure, but eventually he was

00:28:06.500 acquitted. And, and so, you know, there, there are failings in the justice system and there,

00:28:14.880 there is nuance to some of this. And I think it's important. We understand that before we make

00:28:19.300 commentary or decisions based on limited information. That's one of the challenges is,

00:28:25.180 you know, you see, you see this quick, you know, headline on, on social media and you think,

00:28:28.940 oh, well, yeah, here's my opinion. The Simon, Simon or Simon Biles, whatever her name is,

00:28:33.760 the gymnast for America that's stepping down. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I mean, it'd be easy for me to,

00:28:39.780 to read that and say, oh, well, she's a quitter. She's a loser. I actually don't know. I don't,

00:28:44.560 I don't know enough about the situation. And I wish more of us actually took that approach versus

00:28:50.000 saying, yeah, she failed America or she's a hero or she like whatever side of the aisle. I actually

00:28:55.800 don't know. I have no idea. So I, I am very cautious and increasingly so as I become more mature

00:29:02.660 of giving an opinion with limited information. That's what I would say. Yeah. All right. Nate

00:29:09.620 Yamasaki, what are a few things that you've done to improve your relationship with your wife? If

00:29:15.280 you had to pick the most important ones, what would they thank you for?

00:29:21.180 You cut out a little bit, but what I heard you say was what's the most, what are some things that

00:29:26.580 you've done to improve your relationship with your wife? And what are the most important things that

00:29:30.100 you've done? Yes, sir. Okay. So date night, I'm just talking tactically right now, date night,

00:29:36.800 setting aside time every single day to converse. And I'm not talking about, you know, the latest

00:29:44.540 Netflix documentary you're watching. I'm talking about how are you feeling? What's going on? What

00:29:49.460 are the kids up to? How are we like real conversation daily? And that might be five minutes. That might be

00:29:55.600 five hours. Might be somewhere in between, whatever. But we always set time aside to do that.

00:30:02.740 Intimacy is a very important thing. Look here, let's be real. Watching porn and jacking off is

00:30:09.940 way easier than being intimate with your wife. Yeah. It's way easier. You just, you just get on your

00:30:16.700 phone. You just pull up whatever you're into. You just type it in, punch it in, go in the bathroom,

00:30:20.980 jack off and you're good. You're so funny. That's the reality, right? Like that's true.

00:30:27.600 It's true. I know, but we got to talk about uncomfortable things. So path of least resistance.

00:30:35.440 What do we do as men? The natural man. We've talked about it for years. The natural man. That's the

00:30:38.720 natural man. Path of least resistance. Find your thing. Get up, get to it. Intimacy with your wife is

00:30:44.120 very, very important. And that means that you, she's another human being with feelings and emotions and

00:30:49.380 physical needs. And you know, that's more of a challenge, right? Like you got to make sure she's

00:30:54.860 in the mood. You got to turn her on. You got to be intimate with her. And it's more than just

00:30:58.520 physical attraction. It's emotional interest in her. There's a lot of things that go into it and

00:31:03.620 that's harder, but it's also more fulfilling and it's more rewarding. And it's, it forges obviously a

00:31:11.960 deeper connection and bond between you two. So yes, it's more challenging. So when I'm answering this

00:31:17.540 question, the thing that I do, at least I attempt to do, I'm not always great at this is to do the

00:31:23.520 harder thing. Instead of finding my fetish online and getting after it, I'm going to attempt to

00:31:31.800 connect with her mentally, emotionally, physically. I'm going to have a conversation that, you know,

00:31:40.060 sometimes I don't feel like having like at the end of a long day. I'm like, you know, I just want to

00:31:45.140 watch Netflix. And I don't want to talk about your feelings or whatever you're going through.

00:31:50.920 And that's a pretty good indicator that maybe I should actually do those things. So at the under,

00:31:58.660 at the root of how you can serve your wife and better connect with her, it's that you've got to

00:32:05.100 avoid the natural tendencies that you have and really be committed and take initiative towards

00:32:12.280 the things that aren't always easy or convenient because you care about her because you love her

00:32:18.880 and because you want to show her how much she means to you. That's a very broad answer. But those again,

00:32:24.640 date night, carved out time for conversation, physical, mental, and emotional intimacy are huge.

00:32:31.280 Anything you would add to that?

00:32:32.440 No, I think just because it's present on my mind, Carnegie's book, how to influence people and

00:32:45.720 I don't know, make friends. I can't remember the name of the book, but friends and influence people.

00:32:51.180 Yeah. Just because it's on the forefront of my mind, you know, it, if I had to summarize that book,

00:32:58.180 it's, it's all about making sure people feel important. And so, and, and I think just like

00:33:05.900 love languages that looks different for different people. It looks different for you and I, and it

00:33:11.320 looks different for our spouses. And so I would really get present to like, what is it that makes

00:33:16.080 her feel important? And it might be you including her in things that you, an efficiency perspective

00:33:22.820 may not need to include her on. It might be listening to her and her feelings of what's going

00:33:27.840 on. It might be supporting her and hobbies and or goals that she has. So I would just really,

00:33:34.260 how do you show up in a way that is an outward expression of how important she is to you and your

00:33:40.520 family? Yeah. Agreed. All right. Dylan M. Smith. Dylan, this is not that good of a question because

00:33:49.640 you know, the answer, but I think it's a good talking point. And so we'll let Ryan, like,

00:33:54.720 no, I think it's a good thing to talk about. You're going to let me be the bad guy. Got it.

00:33:58.380 Check. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, thinking about getting off social media, it got ahold of me young and is

00:34:04.300 deeply wired in my habits and mind. Do you think I should look, if, if we were talking about another

00:34:13.740 tool and let's be very clear that social media is simply a tool, it's a very complex, elaborate tool,

00:34:20.000 but it's a tool all the same. It's a tool to connect with people. It's a potential tool to

00:34:24.780 grow your business. There's a lot of things you can do with it. But if, if I said, Dylan, here's a

00:34:31.060 hammer and I want you to use this. And you took that hammer and you put your hand on the desk and

00:34:35.760 you smash the shit out of every one of your fingers. Do you think I would be telling you to stop

00:34:41.780 using the hammer that way? Of course I would. And if you were incapable of using the hammer as it is

00:34:47.600 intended to build homes, to hammer a nail in, to build and construct, and you were incapable of

00:34:53.620 doing that. Do you think I would tell you to stop using the hammer? Of course I would. So I would tell

00:34:58.960 you one of two things, either stop using the hammer or use the tool as it's intended. Hey, Dylan,

00:35:05.060 stop smashing the shit out of your fingers with that hammer. That's not what it's for. Instead,

00:35:09.780 let's go find you a nail. Let's pound it into here and let's figure out how to build a home.

00:35:14.680 So Dylan, you need to do one of two things. And I would suggest that getting off of social media

00:35:19.180 actually isn't the answer. And I hear from a lot of guys who are like, I'm off social media. I'm

00:35:24.600 off Instagram. I'm off Facebook. And if that's your thing, fine. That's cool. Or if that's what you

00:35:28.860 need to do, maybe. Right. And if that's what it requires, then great. Use it. But here's the

00:35:34.100 beautiful thing about social media. You can actually put boundaries in place. Like I'll only check

00:35:39.280 social media from noon to one or from three to five or whatever. I'm not going to be on my phone

00:35:44.520 after seven o'clock at night. I'm not going to check my phone first thing in the morning. In fact,

00:35:48.500 what I'm going to do is I'm going to put it downstairs. So I don't even have access to it

00:35:52.680 until I get my butt out of bed and get ready for the day. Then I go downstairs and get into it.

00:35:57.440 But for me, having social media is a very powerful tool to grow this movement and to grow my business.

00:36:02.200 So I choose not to smash the crap out of my hands because I use it as an effective tool.

00:36:09.460 So you need to establish some boundaries, create some boundaries, uphold those boundaries,

00:36:15.520 and put those things in place so that you're not abusing the tool at your disposal. And if you're

00:36:22.080 incapable of doing that for whatever reason, then yes, I would say stop smashing your hand with a tool.

00:36:27.520 Stop beating yourself up with a tool. One of the things that I did early, early on with Order of

00:36:33.920 Man is I would look at what some other individuals would do. One in particular was Brett McKay with

00:36:38.820 Art of Manliness. I've thought very, and I still do think very, very highly of Brett McKay.

00:36:44.420 Much of what he's done with Art of Manliness has been a huge inspiration for what we've done here.

00:36:49.400 But what I would do is I would get on this little device and I would go to his account and I would see

00:36:54.100 what he was posting and how many comments and how many likes and how much interaction. And I'd try to

00:36:58.480 figure out, you know, how much money he was making off of certain things. And it was very, very

00:37:02.400 destructive. It's very damaging to my psyche. So here's what I did. I typed in Order of Manliness

00:37:10.260 on Instagram and Facebook and I clicked unfollow. Because I couldn't handle it. I couldn't handle that.

00:37:20.500 And now I follow him actually, because it's not that big of a concern because I'm doing things and

00:37:25.080 I've figured out how to use this tool. But I'm going to do whatever's necessary to make sure that

00:37:29.580 my mental well-being is taken care of. And the boundary, I couldn't maintain it. So I had to

00:37:35.400 enforce a greater boundary, which is to completely unfollow. It was a very healthy move that I made.

00:37:39.900 So, yeah, stop using social media as a thing to beat yourself up and put the boundaries in place.

00:37:48.060 Make decisions and use it correctly or don't use it at all. Use it correct. That's what I would say.

00:37:54.140 That's how you sum this up. Use it correctly or don't use it at all. Very simple.

00:37:59.320 Scott, Pat Pei, is there a tipping point in our country's slide towards socialism when you would

00:38:09.160 consider leaving? If so, where would you go? That second part of the question is the reason I

00:38:20.060 wouldn't. Where would I go? Where is better than what it is right now? Is there a point I would

00:38:26.060 consider leaving? Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. Of course. We're not there yet. And so I'm not

00:38:32.240 going to worry about that at this point. What I'm going to do is I'm going to continue to share

00:38:36.200 a message of positivity, a message of growth, a message of personal responsibility, a message of

00:38:41.000 sovereignty, a message of freedom and liberty and men doing what they need to do to lead themselves,

00:38:45.420 their families, their businesses, their communities well. There's still room for me to fight.

00:38:50.540 And so I'm going to continue to do that. But yeah, definitely there's a point. And it's a lot

00:38:55.360 further than most people would think, but I don't know where I'd go, which is why I'm going to stay

00:39:02.240 in this fight. Like I'm in this thing. I'm all in this thing. And there's hills that I've chosen to

00:39:07.080 die on. And there's conversations I'm going to continue to have, whether people want me to or

00:39:11.220 not. But yeah, I'm not thinking about where can I go to get out of this mess? Because there frankly

00:39:17.340 isn't a better place, even with all of our flaws than there is here and right now. So yeah,

00:39:22.780 I'm going to keep fighting and keep doing what I need to do. And I'm asking you guys to do the

00:39:26.000 same. So share, promote, talk about what we're doing here, find your own battles that are worthy

00:39:30.760 of fighting and get after it. That's what we need to do. Not think about where should we go?

00:39:35.880 How do we improve this place?

00:39:38.900 Yeah, that should be our default opinion of what can I do to change the scenario? Not,

00:39:44.940 oh, it's, if it gets bad, I'm going to leave. Well, what are you doing between now and leaving

00:39:49.140 to make sure it doesn't get that way? And, and also, so what can we do? And also how do we enlist

00:39:57.420 other people in the same cause? That's very important because what you're right. What is

00:40:02.360 one person going to do? Nothing other than enlist a million other people who believe like he does and

00:40:09.500 are willing to stand up and talk about and share and engage the way that that one individual does.

00:40:14.440 Totally. Scott Gunn-Cory, is there a direct connection or do you feel there's a direct

00:40:20.320 connection between feminism and the divorce rate in the U.S.?

00:40:24.020 Of course. I mean, that's, you couldn't even, yes, of course.

00:40:28.120 And this isn't an opinion, guys. This is like, you look at the numbers and there's,

00:40:32.800 I mean, it's exact, right?

00:40:34.820 There's, there's a correlation between feminism and declining marriage rates,

00:40:40.840 increasing divorce rates and declining birth rates. Of course there is. Now, whether that's

00:40:48.260 good or bad is an entirely different question, but you're asking the question, is there a

00:40:51.740 correlation? Of course, a hundred percent. Because if you attempt through schooling and through

00:40:57.320 information that, that women have to be equal to men, that they have to go out into the workforce

00:41:02.800 to be worth anything, that they shouldn't be home. And I, and I've had people directly

00:41:08.200 undermine or attempt to undermine my wife and I, our dynamic of her being at home as a full-time

00:41:17.340 homemaker and housewife. I mean, think about that. Even people hear that homemaker housewife,

00:41:22.360 they cringe. I know there's people who heard just what I said and they're cringing. They're like,

00:41:26.160 Ooh, that's not bad. But there are people who attempted to undermine that. The fact that we

00:41:31.180 homeschool that she's here full-time with our children, they they've accused me of, you know,

00:41:36.320 keeping your wife barefoot and pregnant, or that I'm limiting or hindering her because she chooses

00:41:41.740 to stay home. And by the way, I'm not at all against a woman who wants to go into the workforce

00:41:47.760 and create a living and a life for herself, but there's a lot to be said for finding fulfillment

00:41:53.280 for a woman who decides that she wants to stay at home and turn her house into a home and raise her

00:42:00.660 children in righteousness. That isn't inferior. That isn't inadequate. In fact, if anything,

00:42:07.340 I would suggest that that's a beautiful place for a woman to thrive and learn and grow and have

00:42:12.480 fulfillment and meaning in her life. But when we, as a society, collectively attempt to tell women

00:42:18.980 that they shouldn't be there and that in order to be worth anything, you have to go out into the

00:42:23.960 workforce. You have to compete with men. You have to make money. You have to forsake having

00:42:28.440 children. That's a dangerous proposition. It's harmful. It's hurtful. It's bad for society.

00:42:34.660 It's bad for women. And yes, of course, there's a correlation between feminism and declining

00:42:41.600 marriage rates, increasing divorce rates and declining pregnancy rates. Of course, a hundred percent.

00:42:48.620 That is the primary, the primary reason for that is feminism.

00:42:53.060 Now let's, let's be really clear though. There's, there's, there's a couple of things I want to

00:42:59.440 address when I talk about feminism because everybody thinks it means something else. They

00:43:04.240 have their own interpretation of it. And this is the danger of language. And this is the danger of

00:43:07.860 manipulating language in order to match your ideology. If, when you say feminism, you mean,

00:43:13.520 should women have equal rights? Yes. I agree with that. Of course, I agree with that. But feminism

00:43:23.340 anymore, modern day feminism is not just about equal rights. Cause you'll hear women who are feminists

00:43:28.760 who will say, we just want equal rights. Well, tell me what rights you don't have. Tell me what rights,

00:43:34.620 like specifically, what right don't you have that men have? Voting? No. Marriage rights? No. Like,

00:43:45.240 like, tell me what right, any tax benefit or what right are you referring to? And usually people will

00:43:51.160 say, well, the gender pay gap. Okay. Well, here's an interesting thing to consider. Cause the same

00:43:59.700 people who complain about the gender pay gap, or I don't know if I'm supposed to say gender or sex pay

00:44:04.080 gap now, I don't know, because gender is fluid. I don't, I don't know. Maybe you guys can correct

00:44:07.720 me on that one, but here's the interesting thing about the gender pay gap. Cause the same people

00:44:12.060 who complain about the gender pay gap are the ones who will actually say that corporations and those

00:44:17.640 who own and run corporations are greedy, filthy pigs. But what's interesting is the gender pay gap

00:44:23.480 and the greedy, filthy pigs are at direct odds with each other, right? Because if you're telling me

00:44:28.140 that corporations and the men who run those corporations are greedy, filthy pigs, then what you're

00:44:32.380 actually saying is that all they're worried about is their bottom line, right? Okay. So if you're

00:44:36.120 worried about their bottom line, then wouldn't the greedy, filthy pigs hire only women if they could

00:44:45.000 pay them less to do the same amount of work? Well, and can I, and I, can I add to this? So what do

00:44:52.080 companies do in that scenario? You outsource. So outsourcing is a perfect example of this use case

00:44:58.060 of, Oh, Hey, I can get cheaper labor. If I utilize resources outside of this country,

00:45:04.000 despite all the confusion, despite them having to be remote, despite all these other things,

00:45:10.400 companies are willing to do that for that pay gap difference.

00:45:15.940 So, because they're worried about their bottom line, and by the way, that's not immoral.

00:45:20.020 In fact, the bottom line, worrying about the bottom line is a very moral thing because that means you

00:45:23.840 can serve your customers more effectively. Like when we talked about the iron council,

00:45:28.460 the rate of the iron council going up, people will say, well, you're just being greedy. Or

00:45:32.160 alternatively, it could mean that I'm investing in infrastructure in order to serve people more

00:45:36.260 fully. Yeah. Right. So the greedy, filthy pig capitalism argument just isn't alignment with the

00:45:46.300 gender pay gap. It just isn't there. Now, why do women at times get paid less than men?

00:45:53.600 Because they don't do the same jobs as men. And they tend to leave, they tend to have children,

00:46:02.540 they tend to work less, they tend to work in environments, school teacher, nursing, that sort

00:46:07.560 of thing that they are going to get paid less. We have to look at the entire picture in this

00:46:12.620 situation. I can't remember where we got onto this thing, but I get fired up when we talk about this.

00:46:17.460 But yeah, ultimately the answer is yes. Feminism is at, is the direct reason for divorce rates,

00:46:30.480 for declining marriage rates, and for declining birthing rates.

00:46:35.920 And I think what's critical, Ryan, and you're, you're saying this on another question,

00:46:39.760 this goes back to critical thinking and getting all the information, right? It's like, well,

00:46:45.340 why are they, right? What's the details? Like I, one thing I can't stand, you know, we, we get,

00:46:51.000 you know, you'll get these news articles in the state of Utah that will say, oh, the state of Utah

00:46:55.640 is one of the most least woman friendly States, you know, in the nation or something like that.

00:47:02.300 And I'm like, why?

00:47:05.280 What does that mean? Tell me what that means.

00:47:07.320 Exactly. And it's because they run the numbers and you're like, oh yeah, on average women make

00:47:11.860 less in Utah than other States. Yeah. Uh, we have probably more children in this state than probably

00:47:17.160 any other state. There's more moms that are happily deciding to stay home because they want to raise

00:47:25.000 their kids. And, and you roll that into a statistic and say, oh, it must be a sexist thing.

00:47:30.200 Like guys, we need to be way more critical and it goes both ways. Even if it's a stat that you

00:47:36.380 highly agree with and you're like, oh, perfect. This falls right in line with my narrative of how

00:47:41.140 I see the world. Well, you should probably still critically think and understand where those

00:47:45.260 numbers are coming from. So you can speak to it intelligently and not just grab numbers and

00:47:49.860 sound bites and headlines, you know, to perpetuate your way of thinking.

00:47:55.640 Yeah. Great point. And you know, on the sexist thing, cause you will hear a lot of that,

00:47:59.140 like, oh, you're just being sexist. If you keep your wife, keep your wife at home. Actually,

00:48:03.260 no, you know what? It would be a lot more convenient from a worldly perspective. If my

00:48:08.500 wife went out into the workforce and made a hundred grand a year, like that would be way better.

00:48:13.900 Totally. So it is, it's actually the antithesis of sexism for me to bust my fricking balls every day

00:48:21.100 so that I, as the sole income provider of the family can go out and do the work so that my wife can be

00:48:28.380 here fulfilled in her responsibility, making this house a home and raising her children in

00:48:35.360 righteousness. Like sexist men don't do that. What a sexist man would do is they'd say, well,

00:48:42.360 you need to pull your weight. You need to pay half of the bills. You like, you're just as easy. Like

00:48:49.680 you need to go out and like, that's what a sexist person would do. A sexist man wouldn't go out and

00:48:55.380 commit himself to his wife and his family and go bust his ass for everybody so that she could live

00:49:00.960 the type of life that would fulfill and edify her, which is what I feel like I'm doing. My wife,

00:49:06.720 from the time I've met her and the time that she was little has always wanted to be a homemaker

00:49:10.760 and always wanted to raise her children and always wanted to have a beautiful garden and always wanted

00:49:15.740 to make sure that the house was loving and, and, and caring and a home that people, myself and our

00:49:22.200 children and guests included would feel comfortable in. And I'm working on making that happen for her

00:49:29.460 because I love her and I care about her and I consider her at minimum and equal, if not greater

00:49:35.980 than I am. Yeah. And I think, I think that we live in a society today that, that causes, and I don't know

00:49:46.400 how to say this, that, that gets a lot of women to second guess their desire to be moms and, and they live

00:49:56.080 in a culture in our society, which says, you know what? You're not, you're not, you can't get fulfilled

00:50:02.620 that way. You, you need a career to, to reach your full potential. And I really think that you probably

00:50:08.040 have a, a good percentage of the population of women that would love to be at home. And they're starting

00:50:15.140 to second guess whether they should be because society is helping them or society is preaching

00:50:21.080 that, you know, they haven't and will not reach their fulfillment unless they have careers.

00:50:26.140 And, and it's been, and it would really be clear. It's so different. We have the same dilemma,

00:50:30.480 right? As guys, we get, we, I mean, it's a conversation we have in Iron Council. The conversation

00:50:35.360 we have on this podcast is like, guys, your career isn't your be all right. Balance, family,

00:50:41.340 being a father, right? Like it's a really important conversation, but, but we're getting to a point,

00:50:47.280 I think in society where like, they're being demonized for making that choice. And I don't

00:50:53.840 know, it's, I think it's damaging. It is damaging. A hundred percent is damaging because we know from

00:51:00.640 women who have pursued careers that no longer can build a family, can have children because they

00:51:07.200 reach that point where they feel like they've missed out on some of their innate beauty that

00:51:15.660 comes with being female. Yeah. Yeah. But they got a job, Ryan. And when they die, they can say,

00:51:24.180 you know what? I worked for that corporation and I made a good salary. I lived a good life.

00:51:30.100 I would just say this because I don't want to mock those women who go out into the workforce

00:51:36.400 because I think if that's what you want to do, go for it, but don't buy into the narrative that

00:51:42.700 that's what makes you valuable. Yes, it is. And it's not what makes us valuable.

00:51:47.500 Let me tell you what makes a woman valuable, that she can give birth and she's lovely and she's

00:51:54.580 feminine and she's nurturing and she's caring. That's what makes a woman valuable because those

00:52:01.640 are the giving birth part is not available for men. And the compassion, kindness, empathy, loving,

00:52:09.100 nurturing is not as innate in men as it is in women. So that's what makes you valuable.

00:52:15.880 So if you want to go out in the workforce, great, but going out in the workforce and competing

00:52:20.180 is not what makes you valuable. All of that other stuff was what makes you valuable.

00:52:25.400 Yeah.

00:52:27.380 Which is why the men protect the women because it's valuable. All right. Enough of that.

00:52:32.640 Okay. Lesson line leadership in a world of men who are afraid to make mistakes or fell.

00:52:38.280 What are some quantifiable ramifications of passivity and the cost of not doing something,

00:52:45.360 being quiet to avoid confrontation? In an example, being a bystander,

00:52:50.180 in disciplining your kids, listening to coworkers gossip about the boss and et cetera. I realized

00:52:56.400 that this is a really difficult conversation or kind of question that we probably can't put a

00:53:01.260 number on, but I think maybe some advice around this, right? Like-

00:53:06.240 That's a better, that's a better route because we know the cost. And even though we may not be able

00:53:10.880 to quantify the exact cost, we know you're going to be less fulfilled because you're letting people

00:53:15.340 railroad you and you're not assertive and you're not getting your way and you're not directing your

00:53:20.640 own life. You're passive. You're letting other people dictate what you want to do.

00:53:24.360 And that eats at your soul is kind of what you're saying. It's like, Hey, when you're passive,

00:53:27.500 it's like, yeah, it's just eating at you.

00:53:29.300 It's a life unfulfilled. You're probably going to make less money. You're not going to be completely

00:53:34.320 satisfied. The job isn't going to be done to standard. There's a lot of things that you could

00:53:38.360 potentially quantify, but I think the better route for this question and perhaps a better question,

00:53:44.940 and maybe this is what he was getting at is what do we do about it? Yeah. Okay. We all know there's

00:53:51.300 a cost of passivity. We know that there's a cost to not doing our job. We know that if we're not

00:53:56.940 asserting ourselves in current situations, that we're not going to get what we want out of life,

00:54:01.440 which by the way is okay, guys, it's okay to have some, your own desires and people say,

00:54:09.280 well, that's selfish. Yeah. Well, you know, sometimes I want to make sure that I'm reaching

00:54:13.840 my goals and ambitions and desires. And, and yes, sometimes I'm selfish. We don't live in boxes

00:54:19.920 and we don't live in vacuums. Even me being selfish is going to serve somebody else. If I'm selfish

00:54:23.820 about wanting to improve my skills as a podcaster, make more money, I'm going to hire more people.

00:54:28.740 I'm going to bring more people on. I'm going to serve more people. We're going to be able to

00:54:31.880 create new experiences for my family. And so there's a trickle down effect of that.

00:54:37.820 So what do we do about it? Well, number one, you got to know what you want.

00:54:42.180 There's a lot of men out there who have never even thought about what it is they want out of life.

00:54:46.500 Well, I don't know. I just want to be happy. I want to be fulfilled. I want to have some experiences,

00:54:50.600 bro. Get specific. Like how much money do you want to make? What do you want to be doing? What

00:54:54.560 experiences do you want to have? How much money do you want to have? How much

00:54:58.060 do you want to deadlift? What do you want your relationship to look like? What do you want

00:55:01.940 intimacy and sex to look like? How is the relationship between you and your children?

00:55:06.000 Get specific, figure that out. Because if you can figure that out, then you can start strategizing

00:55:11.840 and working a plan. And at the risk of beating a dead horse, you got to go to order a man.com

00:55:16.660 slash battle ready. Cause we're going to help you create, and this is all free by the way,

00:55:21.440 but we're going to help you create a vision for yourself. What exactly what you want.

00:55:25.480 Then we're going to break it down into objectives. Here's the one, two, three,

00:55:29.740 and four things that specifically I want to do over the next 90 days.

00:55:34.060 Then we get down to the next component, which is tactics. And this is answers this question.

00:55:38.260 What exactly are you going to do about it? You want to fix the marriage between you and your wife?

00:55:43.940 Cool. Worthy objective. What exactly are you going to do to fix it? You want to secure that promotion?

00:55:50.000 You want to start that business? All good. What are you going to do about it?

00:55:56.540 And if you can work through this strategy that we've created, then when opportunities present

00:56:01.620 themselves, whether it's a new job, whether it's picking up a new client, asking that woman on a

00:56:06.660 date, asking your dang wife on a date for crying out loud, then you'll have the capacity to be able to

00:56:14.280 assert yourself correctly versus just letting life pass you by and being acted upon versus doing the

00:56:20.220 acting. So what specifically can you do? Go to order of man.com slash battle ready and sign up

00:56:28.860 for that free program and actually do it. We've had tens of thousands of men go through it at this

00:56:34.680 point. And I would say less than 10%, maybe even 5% have actually completed it.

00:56:40.220 Yeah. And it's because go through it, do it completely. And I just, maybe for a pulse for

00:56:47.500 some guys, you know, evaluate as you're listening to what we're saying and look for areas in your

00:56:54.680 life where, where you think if only if someone did X, then this would go better. Only if my boss,

00:57:04.520 you know, saw my true value or only if my wife showed up differently this way, then we would,

00:57:09.380 any of those scenarios where you're pointing the finger, the conversation you should be having

00:57:15.360 with yourself is the one that Ryan just said. What are you going to do about it? Because those

00:57:21.340 are all the areas of your life where you probably feel unfulfilled. You're not taking zero ownership

00:57:26.660 in regards to the situation. And guess what? It's not going to change. Just like you signed up for

00:57:31.700 battle ready and doing nothing and thinking, oh, well, I signed up and it's just going to magically,

00:57:36.720 you know, do its thing without me taking any effort. You got to show up differently than you

00:57:41.940 have, than you have been to get the benefits that you're not getting.

00:57:46.500 You brought up a really good point. And I wrote this down is how do I get him or her to do what

00:57:50.560 I want them to do? Cause that's a, that's a pretty common phrasing of questions that we get.

00:57:57.500 How do I get my boss to see that I'm valuable? How do I get my wife to get on board with my

00:58:02.720 nutrition goals? How do I get my children to listen to me? Right? It's, it's all external.

00:58:08.620 How do I get them to do it? The answer is counterintuitive. You fix yourself.

00:58:15.520 How do you get your boss to see that you're valuable? You become valuable. How do you get

00:58:22.460 your wife to get on your fitness journey? You get on the fitness journey and you show her through your

00:58:27.360 work, the benefits of being on a fitness journey. How do you get your children to listen to you?

00:58:31.600 You start listening to them. It's that's the beauty of this is that any of that, how do I get

00:58:40.040 somebody else to do something is all within your control. You do it first and other people will be

00:58:47.760 inspired and influenced by your work. That's way more advantageous than just having to sit back and

00:58:54.260 wait for somebody to change their behavior. You change yours and naturally, inevitably people will

00:58:59.880 change theirs. And as they do, they'll recognize you. They'll acknowledge you. They'll see it. And

00:59:04.340 if they don't, it's okay because it'll become less relevant, right? If you make yourself

00:59:08.740 indispensable to steal from, I believe Cal Newport and his book, So Good They Can't Ignore You.

00:59:15.100 I believe that's right. If you go out and you make yourself indispensable and your boss doesn't

00:59:22.160 acknowledge it, you know how many people are going to be standing in line to try to recruit you?

00:59:25.640 Yeah. And so all that other stuff about, Oh, I wish my boss would see the worth that I have and

00:59:30.960 what I do. Like it will be less relevant because all you have to do is say, Hey boss, you know,

00:59:34.780 I'd love to stay here and work with you, but I've got a better offer over here. And so I'm

00:59:38.980 entertaining that offer, but I would like to present that to you to give you an opportunity to see if

00:59:42.320 you'd like me to stick around and he'll say yes or no. And regardless of what he says, it's a

00:59:48.220 beautiful thing. Like win-win. If he says, yes, cool. Here's what you're going to have to do. And

00:59:51.120 he'll do it. If he says no, say great. Thank you. I appreciate the investment in me. I appreciate

00:59:56.260 the time. I appreciate the opportunity to provide for my family and I wish you the best. I'm going

01:00:00.800 over here. And that's fine too, but it's all within your control. Acknowledge that.

01:00:10.740 Dishi man, what is one good strategy to deal with overcoming distractions?

01:00:15.980 One good strategy. Okay. Here it is. Ask yourself this question about a thousand times a day.

01:00:25.000 Is this what I should be doing right now? Now? Yeah. That's the strategy.

01:00:34.100 Is this podcast, for example, what I should be doing right now? Yes, it absolutely is because

01:00:39.820 this aligns with my mission is the email that I'm going to send. When we get done with this,

01:00:44.660 what I should be doing right now. Yes. Because it's moving the mission forward. If I'm done for

01:00:49.800 the day and I'm spending time with my family and we're sitting on the deck and I'm watching my wife

01:00:53.520 in her garden and my kids are playing around and I can ask myself, is this what I should be doing

01:00:57.340 right now? The answer when it's appropriate is yes, I'm done with my work. I'm done for the day.

01:01:03.480 That stuff's all checked off and I need to be here and present with my family. And so, yes,

01:01:07.000 the answer is yes. Now to go back to our conversation about looking at porn, is this what I should be

01:01:13.240 doing right now? No, you know, that's not what you should be doing right now. So, stop doing it.

01:01:19.400 But this is a practice in mindfulness and assertiveness and it will really serve you

01:01:26.560 if you just continue asking your question, that question, is this what I should be doing right now?

01:01:31.020 Yeah. I think there's value in understanding that a lot for a lot of people, distractions

01:01:37.620 are, is a problem with delayed gratification. You have some, you probably have some deep work

01:01:45.940 that you need to get done, right? Some complex task and opportunity presents itself to go, oh,

01:01:53.540 ooh, shiny object. I'll, I'll do that. Cause that gives me immediate stimulus and gratification. So,

01:01:59.140 I'll almost seek out the distraction to avoid the mundane task. That's going to take time. And

01:02:06.580 it might take two hours to finish, or I don't want to get started because it's boring and it's not as

01:02:12.780 stimulating initially. So, I, and when I think about distractions, I look at them that way,

01:02:18.460 it kind of shifts my mindset of like, oh, I get what I'm doing. I'm just avoiding what I should be

01:02:23.840 doing because, you know, I'm, I'm seeking distraction on purpose because I'm trying to avoid something that

01:02:29.620 should get done. So, be in control of your mind and realize what you're doing. And, and it's really a,

01:02:35.620 a play on delayed gratification. And there's some strategies. Some people like, we'll time box and

01:02:40.640 say, okay, I'm going to do this difficult. Like Ryan, let's say that you hate doing email follow-ups,

01:02:46.220 but, but you've identified that it's something that you should do. Then time box it. All right.

01:02:50.640 I got 15 minutes heads down a hundred percent. I'm going to work on this said thing for a period of

01:02:57.240 time and time box it. So then that way you're effective and you're fully present to the moment.

01:03:04.220 And, and it's really interesting too. It's like, think about even when we're quote unquote present

01:03:10.740 that we're really not. So you seek distraction and how more effective things could be. Like even in a

01:03:17.740 work setting, I've thought about this is like, how more efficient would we be as a company? If

01:03:22.880 everybody was a hundred percent present in every single meeting, all those meetings wouldn't have

01:03:28.700 to be an hour. They could be 30 minutes. Right. Right. And then they wouldn't be so boring. We

01:03:34.280 could be laser focused straight to the point, bam, bam, bam, get done. And it wouldn't be as big of an

01:03:39.300 issue, but because people are distracting themselves on purpose, you know, it, we end up having meetings

01:03:46.340 be longer because not everyone's a hundred percent present all the time. So.

01:03:50.280 I think, well, your answer is better than I, than I was. Cause the, the immediate thing,

01:03:55.420 which is not uncommon, right. But the, uh, the immediate thing I went to is that the reason we

01:04:01.540 get distracted is a pro cat procrastination issue. That's, that's what I had written down here is

01:04:05.980 that it's a procrastination. It's the same thing. It's not though. It's not because procrastination

01:04:10.700 is just the surface level. It's the action. Like I'm just procrastinating. Your answer is better as

01:04:15.440 like, why do we procrastinate? Because we don't see the immediate result because if you did, you

01:04:20.320 wouldn't procrastinate, right? If you were sending those emails and you got immediate, like, look,

01:04:24.400 here, here's, here's an example of what I mean. If every email follow-up you did, you got $10 in your

01:04:31.300 bank account. How many email follow-ups would you do? You do them all. Yeah. All day long you do.

01:04:36.980 Bam, bam, bam. No, no procrastination whatsoever. So your answer is better as deeper than what I thought.

01:04:42.800 I'm like, Oh, it's procrastination, but why it's delayed gratification or a lack of being able to

01:04:48.320 delay gratification. It's a very good point. Uh, you also brought up something about time boxing.

01:04:53.560 Uh, I also, which is along the same lines, but I want to give this one other little bit of advice

01:04:58.640 here is placing time limits. So a lot of guys will say, you know, from, uh, from three to five,

01:05:05.220 I'm going to do emails. What I personally like to do is I actually have to send a lot of emails today

01:05:09.760 cause I was out of the office the end of last week. So when we get done with a call, it's 12,

01:05:13.560 16 right now, we'll probably wrap up in the next 10 minutes. What I will personally do is I'll look

01:05:18.740 at the time and I'll say, okay, emails. I have until one o'clock go. And what that does for me is

01:05:26.940 it creates a little bit of competition, a little bit of a challenge. Yeah. Can I get this done in,

01:05:32.900 in how many can I get done? I got 60 emails right now. I got to respond to,

01:05:36.780 I got until one o'clock. Can I get it done? And, and that time limit function is, has been very,

01:05:44.460 very powerful for me. So there's the time boxing time limits, very similar concept. Just want to

01:05:49.180 make sure I explain that. Well, and there's another aspect of that, that I think is really

01:05:53.000 interesting in the iron council. We've had guys, uh, identify a tactic around journal doing journaling

01:06:00.400 and a lot of guys can't keep up with journaling because they get, they go too deep into it.

01:06:08.160 They go, Oh, well, I haven't journaled for a while. So I'm going to spend six hours and like

01:06:14.500 catch up for the last 10 years. Well, you do that for six hours tomorrow. You're not motivated to grab

01:06:20.860 that journal. Cause that journal destroyed yesterday. Right. And you don't even want to get

01:06:26.640 into it. So even the time box of like only 15 minutes. So then that way, when I come back to

01:06:33.240 this and do it again, I'm not, I'm not going to be hesitant to do it because it engulfed my day too

01:06:38.900 much. It's, it's like the friend, the friend that you love that talks too much and keeps you up all

01:06:44.680 night. You love him and he's an awesome guy and you want to chat. But when he says, Hey, can I come

01:06:49.640 over? You're like, Ooh, maybe not because you're going to run your mouth and I'm not going to get any

01:06:54.820 sleep. Right. And, and so he out, what comes to stay from talking too much, you know? So I don't

01:07:01.580 know. There's some time benefit to him. It's like inviting Kip Sorensen to be a co-host, you know,

01:07:06.680 at first it's pretty good. And then he thinks he can say more and more and more. And before you know

01:07:10.920 it, he just slipped right in. Yeah. No, I, I think you're dead. Yeah. We should read some numbers to

01:07:19.440 see how often I had a comment, uh, and how, how much more talking time I've gotten over the,

01:07:25.600 over the years of doing Emmett, uh, as you, you have, but you, even from the get go, you have said

01:07:33.560 that you're like, Oh, am I talking too much? I'm like, no, I actually appreciate your insight.

01:07:37.420 Like I want to hear this is, this is a co yeah, it's my fault. This is a co-hosted show. So you're not

01:07:44.040 my sidekick or anything like that. Like this is a co-hosted show. Not your, uh, what did the guys

01:07:49.600 used to say? Chip Jorgensen sidekick. Oh, sidekick. Yeah. I'm not your sidekick. All right. Let's

01:07:56.040 take one more. All right. Uh, Ryan, uh, Michelle Harry, she says joking, you know, are women allowed

01:08:02.960 to ask questions? Ha ha. When you felt that's her question. No, stop. Proceed. When you felt like a

01:08:11.020 failure or if you've dealt with depression, how did you handle that mentality mentally and use it

01:08:16.160 as a tool to get better and motivate you and not depress you even more? So depression,

01:08:22.120 I tend to get down on myself very regularly. Actually, I would say daily, daily. I get down

01:08:30.200 on myself. You know, something doesn't work out. I don't get a client. I don't land a podcast. I,

01:08:34.300 I don't get as much done as I'd like. I deal with this daily. I go into some dark places on a daily

01:08:39.820 basis. It's not so dark that, you know, I'm contemplating shutting things down or ending

01:08:43.360 my life or anything like that. It's not, it's not that bad, but daily, how do I overcome it?

01:08:51.680 I get this little book out. It's my battle planner and I open it up and I look at my list of things to

01:08:59.360 do. In fact, I think I've written two or three things down that I need to do that you reminded me

01:09:03.240 of as we were having this conversation. So I write it down right here and then I do it.

01:09:09.820 Regardless of how I feel, regardless of whether or not I want to do it, regardless of past

01:09:16.540 performance or whether things have worked out or not, I look at it and I, sometimes I'll pick the

01:09:21.300 hardest thing to do on the list. I'm like, okay, well, this is hard. That's a challenge. You need

01:09:24.300 to get that done. And other times I'll pick the easiest thing and I'll just look at it and say,

01:09:29.400 okay, well, that's easy. I can do that. That's only going to take me three minutes. Let me just do

01:09:33.500 that real quick. And that builds up some momentum. And the concept of completion

01:09:39.720 is what gives me just a little bit of fuel and motivation to do the next thing, which might be

01:09:46.200 slightly more challenging or more difficult or take a little more time. But the answer for depression

01:09:51.820 for me has always been simple. And this is barring mental illness. All right. If you're dealing with

01:09:56.180 mental illness, this is chronic depression, get help. That's what I would say there. Get help.

01:10:03.240 But if you're just dealing with being down the ebbs and flows of life and your daily activities,

01:10:08.420 then having a list of things to do and doing it is the solution.

01:10:14.180 Yeah. Always been pretty simple for me. And I do it despite how I feel. That's the most important thing

01:10:20.020 is when you don't feel like doing it, doing it is what is the antidote. Doing it changes your

01:10:28.500 attitude and changes your perspective and then gives you some hope and optimism that, oh, you know,

01:10:32.740 I didn't feel good, but I still did it. And so, all right, well, I feel pretty good. What else can I

01:10:36.700 do that? You still did it. Yeah. Right. And so, that's what actually changes. Because if you do it

01:10:42.460 when you like to do it, it's good, but it just doesn't count as much as if you do it when you don't

01:10:48.240 want to do it. That's what's actually going to move the needle. Totally. I have a good example of

01:10:53.540 this. And Ryan, you and I are cut from the same cloth when it comes to this because I'll do this

01:10:59.820 all the time, but I'll work out. And if my workout, my numbers weren't the same as they normally are or

01:11:05.960 better, I'm kind of beat myself up. If the day wasn't as effective or I didn't get those, I beat

01:11:11.800 myself up. If I go in the garage and it's a complete mess still, I kind of beat myself up. Like,

01:11:16.340 it's almost, I'm not saying everyone should do this. It's probably not healthy, but regardless,

01:11:21.220 there's a lot of opportunity where I reflect that I'm kind of beating myself up. And what's

01:11:26.940 interesting is- Hold on, Kip. Let me stop you right there. Because I want to hear what you have

01:11:30.100 to say, but I got to interject on this. You said it's not healthy. Well, I don't know if it is or not.

01:11:35.480 I disagree. Well, I disagree. I think it's healthy. I think it's very, very, again,

01:11:40.980 with the caveat that you do something positive with it. I just don't, I get so tired of hearing

01:11:48.140 this level of indifference in modern culture. Like, oh, you didn't get it done. It's okay.

01:11:55.980 It's like, yeah, it's true. You shouldn't feel bad about it. Like, but you're still special.

01:12:00.500 No, actually when you don't perform the way that you should, you should feel kind of crappy about that.

01:12:06.480 I, that's healthy. You should feel bad because that, that feeling is what's going to drive you

01:12:14.220 to whatever you're going to say next. So I just need to interject that, that it's not unhealthy

01:12:21.100 to think badly about your performance or the way you show up. Modern culture would tell you it is.

01:12:28.000 And I'm here to tell you that it's completely natural and healthy to feel like shit when you

01:12:33.400 underperform. You should feel that way. Now, what are you going to do about it?

01:12:37.920 Yeah, totally. And, and in the example I was going to give is if I go to the gym and I'm not

01:12:43.300 feeling it and I cut my workout and I'm like, you know what? I'm just going to go home.

01:12:50.060 Guaranteed in that example, I'm going to feel like shit for the rest of the day.

01:12:54.080 Worse.

01:12:55.540 Exactly. I'm perpetuating it. But if I'm at the gym and then I change my mindset and say,

01:13:00.960 all right, it's going to be one of those days and I'm going to do my best and forget

01:13:05.640 the rest. It's, it's about how many reps can I get into failure? It's not about how

01:13:12.120 many, like, it's not about how I did last time. It's about right now in this moment,

01:13:16.620 can I do the best work I can do? When I take that approach and I don't leave the gym,

01:13:23.440 I feel better. My day then gets onto a better path and it gets me out of that slump a little

01:13:29.600 bit. But when I give into it, no, it, it, I will perpetuate and I'll drag it along.

01:13:36.780 And until I'm willing to, you know, buck up and actually make some adjustments.

01:13:42.660 That's right. A hundred percent. Total agreement with that.

01:13:46.260 Well, Kip, I think we got through a lot of questions. We got some valuable insight to the

01:13:50.300 guys and gals because we had a couple of questions from ladies today. Yeah. So we hope it served you

01:13:55.560 guys. Why don't you close us out, Kip, for the day? Yeah, for sure. And a couple of things we

01:13:59.560 mentioned, one, the Iron Council, join us there, orderofman.com forward slash Iron Council. Rates

01:14:05.860 are going up. So if, if you were on the fence, get off the fence and, and sign up ASAP before that

01:14:12.680 adjustment. And even if you don't, it's still going to be worth it. So it doesn't matter.

01:14:17.520 The other thing that we've talked about, kind of a lot of questions, right? Today,

01:14:21.060 Ryan around kind of battle plans and tactics and, you know, identifying your vision. So if you guys

01:14:27.720 want to get battle ready, you can learn more about that free program at orderofman.com

01:14:33.980 forward slash battle ready. We also have just slash not forward slash slash slash slash ongoing.

01:14:41.780 We haven't talked about that for a while. For a while. It is a forward slash,

01:14:45.400 regardless of what Ryan thinks. It's just a normal slash guys. Okay. So don't get confused.

01:14:51.220 Don't let Kip lead you astray. It's just orderofman.com slash battle ready. Continue.

01:14:56.340 Maybe MacBooks don't have a backslash. Do you have a backslash on your keyboard?

01:15:00.520 They don't need them. They just know exactly what you want and where you want to go.

01:15:05.060 The other thing, the other resource around battle ready, that's obviously a system that we use within

01:15:10.080 the Iron Council. But another resource to look at is the battle planning app in your Apple store and

01:15:15.800 your play store. You can also go to the website. That's 12weekbattleplanner.com to learn about that

01:15:22.920 app. And that's the number 12, just to reiterate on that. So 12 week battle planner. Cool. Thank you,

01:15:29.040 sir. All right, guys. Great questions. I think we got through most of the questions. So next week,

01:15:33.840 we'll be asking for some more. We'll continue to provide you with some answers for better or worse.

01:15:40.440 But appreciate the questions and everything that you guys give to us. Make sure you're sharing this

01:15:44.320 and promoting this. This is a grassroots movement. We don't do a whole lot of advertising or even

01:15:49.620 asking. What we do ask is that if you feel like there's added value, we've got places for you to go.

01:15:55.200 And if not, and you're getting value simply from the show, just share it. Just shoot a text or a

01:15:58.920 screenshot or whatever. It's a great way to promote what we're doing here. All right, guys, we'll be back

01:16:02.900 on Friday. Friday. But until then, go out there, take action and become the man you are meant to be.

01:16:09.760 Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast. You're ready to take charge of your life

01:16:14.320 and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the order at orderofman.com.

Acting Vs. Being Acted Upon, Feminism's Negative Effect on Society, and A Simple Question for Radical Self-Improvement ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

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